#but i love wwx so much and it's hard to imagine him being unlikeable

[noinobonoto]

I really dislike it when people make wei wuxian dumb in fanfics just so other characters seem smarter

Ofc it's fanfiction so it doesn't really matter and I firmly believe anyone is allowed to write even the most ooc bs ever because that's what fanfics are for, to do whatever the hell you want, so that's a slight to no one and just me putting my thoughts out there

So yeah, I'm not saying wei wuxian has to be the smartest, the genius and the prodigy, especially if it's not about him, but he IS very intelligent and making him act stupid and not in a playful way but in serious situations where he is making things worse or depending on others to explain obvious things to him is really weird and feels as if an author either didn't understand his character or just doesn't like him

And again, it's weird for me bc all the time I'm saying that fanfics are for writing whatever you wish but at the same time... sometimes I just want to complain a bit about things I hate 😅

[muqingapologist]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

this is such a hard question because i’ve gone through so many phases of obsessing over pieces of media in my life, and sometimes it’s really hard for me to parse which characters are lasting favorites and which are just part of that phase. but i’ll try! keep in mind, lots of sentimentality ahead…

and this is in no particular order.

1. wei wuxian (the untamed)

ok so this kind of goes along with a previous post i made discussing my feelings of the mdzs book vs. the untamed. when i first watched the untamed at the recommendation of a friend, it was so unlike anything i’d ever seen before. and wei wuxian was so unlike any protagonist i’d ever encountered before. his determination to do what’s right no matter what others do, but also not being above experiencing doubt and uncertainty about his decisions, really touched me. also of course his carefree attitude toward life is something i repeatedly try and fail to achieve myself. it might also have to do with xiao zhan’s acting choices, but he really touched me as a character. it’s hard for me to say if the wwx of the book did the same organically because i read it over a long period of time after watching the show, so im just going to count the untamed version.

2. shizuku tsukishima (whisper of the heart)

this one is probably pretty niche but allow me to give my most heartfelt recommendation of whisper of the heart, my favorite ghibli movie and one of my favorite films of all time. shizuku is the protagonist of the film. she’s a young girl, probably about 14, and so far, her life has been defined by satisfying her imagination by always reading fiction, immersing herself in stories. inspired by the love interest of the film seiji, she decides she wants to try to be a writer. the film is kind of like a slice of life over a few months of this time, and we see shizuku struggle with perfectionism and wanting to follow her dreams and inability to take criticism, etc. i rarely cry over movies but i cried at this one because i had just never felt so seen by a character. everyone please watch whisper of the heart!🙏

3. prince zuko (avatar: the last airbender)

i think 50% of the reason he’s on here is sentimentality since avatar was a show i watched so much throughout my childhood and of course again more recently with its resurgence in popularity, but also what can i say? his character arc is unmatched. i won’t rehash the details. i will say uncle iroh would probably be here instead if we knew any more about his past because he’s off-screen journey is just so fascinating to me.

4. percy jackson (percy jackson & the 12 olympians)

PURE sentimentality but ya know….also im only considering this character how he exists in the original series. he kind of lost me in heroes of olympus. but yeah percy jackson was the first character that really impacted me back when i was 9, and i think i still carry that impact to this day. i also think the original series still holds up reading it as an adult.

5. kim wexler (better call saul)

kim nation!!! reveal yourselves!! i watched better call saul a little over a year ago and damn, it’s so rare to find such interesting, well-developed, flawed within reason female characters in a tv drama like this. her intelligence and her tendency to get carried away with jimmy don’t contradict each other but work together. her emotional journey….UGH!! kim x post-prison jimmy, who else hopes?

6. xie lian (tgcf/heaven official’s blessing)

so this one is new and i’m not completely sure the deep impression will last yet, but i’ll explain. when i first read tgcf about two years ago, i kind of skimmed because it was so long, and the feelings i had toward xie lian were…not super favorable. i was kind of bored by him and….i saw him as a lesser wei wuxian. AND I WAS WRONG!!! because i reread tgcf finally a couple of months ago, no skimming, really thinking about what i was reading and now i love him. his journey from optimistic prince who had never before suffered to carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders to nearly collapsing under that weight but despite all odds, pulling through and once again finding that optimism, or at least hope. it touched me so much this time around!!! also i don’t know why i thought he was boring first time around. this guy is funny as hell! anyway, lots of lessons to apply to my own life and whatnot.

7. ninth doctor (doctor who)

guys….hear me out. notice im not saying “the doctor” because i think most of doctor who is just nonsense. but that one season with the ninth doctor (and okay i like the tenth doctor’s seasons well enough, or i did really love them. less so these days…). so much potential. so when i say he’s one of my favorite characters ever, i accept that it’s mostly the version of the doctor that lives in my head and isn’t subject to the bad writing decisions made later in the show. it’s a lot of sentimentality, but i am really fascinated by this traumatized alien guy who just lost his entire people, finding himself devolving into more violent, unforgiving tendencies, but meeting rose, jack, whoever else along the way is able to remind him of not who he was but who he could be. of course doctor who is forever ongoing though so character development can only go too far lol.

8. nozue (old-fashioned cupcake)

this is also brand new so not sure if lasting because i only just read and watched ofc, but man. this guy’s journey from being defeatist about getting older and turning 40, being afraid of trying anything new, to allowing himself to experience new things, one of those things being falling in love! his whole concept of using regret as fuel for happiness, transmitting that idea to togawa who transmits it back to nozue later!! ahhh!! so like my love for this character might actually just be love for the entire story but i can’t not mention it every five seconds rn so….

9. isabel archer (portrait of a lady)

so this is the protagonist of henry james’s portrait of a lady, which i finally finished reading last month. and gosh! well the book itself was amazing, but i was especially touched by isabel’s character, mainly because she just felt so realistic. her motivations, her goals, her shift, her sorrows, they all feel earned, creating an incredibly vivid character that i think most people can find something in there to relate to, especially other women who have always been told they are clever and imaginative and yet find themselves struggling internally to live up to those expectations.

10. natasha rostova (war and peace)

it’s been years since i read war and peace in my university freshman seminar, so it’s hard for me to speak on the details of why exactly this character is here. but also it’s no surprise because this is a character that continues to be the star of russian literature. what i can say, she’s another bright, carefree character (clearly symbolizing aspects of russian culture but even beyond that) who it’s impossible not to feel deeply connected to. she goes through some pretty life-altering stuff in war and peace (everyone listen to the musical called natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812 for those details!!) and as the reader, you just really feel for her. idk man she still stands out in my mind, but also this is also much thanks to the musical i just mentioned above.

i kind of came up with these on the spot so like…who knows how accurate this is, but i like to talk about the things i like so sue me. thank you for the question though!!

[guqin-and-flute]

ok but if jiang cheng gives jin guangyao a jiang sect clarity bell he's going to be so confused and shocked and then probably cry. for days. this family wants him! on purpose! not even as a disciple but as part of the family itself! and they're all accepting him intentionally! and publicly! he's not going to be able to handle that at all.

Anonymous said: Yanli is pregnant, about to give birth and JGY is so anxious and nervous. It's his first kid! He doesn't want to do anything wrong, neither for this child, nor for Yanli, nor for her brothers. He's going crazy. As time went by, the more involved with the affairs of the Jiang sect he became, but now, in the face of the birth of his son, nothing was enough to soothe his nerves. He was genuinely going crazy. So JC, WWX and JGY bonding time!!

(WONDERFUL, anons! I’m putting these two together because it felt right! This is a trip and a half to write because I came into it going ‘this is fluff!’ and JGY came into it going ‘this is torture’. Did you know that having nice things is untenably terrible? Cause I didn’t until I consulted JGY, but this seems to be the case)

[First post/fic of the Peony to Lotus verse. Set after these posts]

Jin Guangyao hated when his thoughts became too much to ignore. It should not happen, he should be able to package this anxiety into a neat little box like every other thing that had ever made his hands shake and get on with his business but here he was, gripping the edge of the window sill tight enough to make his knuckles ache as he simply fought to breathe. 

A-Li was far enough along, now, that she spent most of her time bedridden, radiant and tired and soft and patient and--

Sometimes, he would come to himself realizing he was smiling over something ridiculous Wei Wuxian had said, or the way that A-Li looked in the sun just then, or A-Yuan clinging to his leg and he wouldn’t have meant to and it was so fucking awful. And he had no one to discuss it with, not even A-Li, not even Er-ge because they would have no idea what he was talking about. Because they had had the practice of their whole lives to bear the weight of putting their heart into other people and letting them run around and do what they would with it. Soon, he would have a child. A child. 

He already had a wife, and he had felt the uncomfortable stretch of accommodation in his bones when he had realized, with deep terror, that he actually loved her. Deeper still, somehow, when she had loved him back. Then Wei Wuxian had elbowed his way into His People--when had he gotten people? When had that happened?--then Jiang Wanyin, then Wuxian’s little A-Yuan. Lying in bed next to a gently snoring A-Li, staring at the ceiling above, painted in the slow, light ripples from the lake, he had quietly realized that even Wen Qing and Wen Ning would leave holes within himself he would be able to trace in their outlines, were they taken from Lotus Pier.

It had taken him quietly confessing to Lan Xichen the depth of his anxiety over the pregnancy, his gentle chuckle, his hand on his cheek as he assured him that he would be an excellent father that Gods! Gods, he was one of them, too! One of His, living there already, before he even knew to look. How had he not known? When had he filleted his heart in such a manner and with what knife so sharp that he hadn’t even felt the sting? Was it supposed to be this easy to lose yourself in others? The last time he had been a part of anyone, she had died in his arms on a whorehouse bed, whispering about a man who had never come back to collect his token, his son. Her son. 

Jin Guangyao blew out his breath, rocked from heel to the ball of his foot as if limbering up for exercise, trying to expend the buzz of anxious energy that crawled under his skin, excise the slow panic that had been building these many months. 

Wen Qing had said it was going well. That everything was normal. Back pains and knee pains and trouble sleeping were normal. 

A child.

Pushing away from the sill, he shook his arms out at his sides as he turned away from, then back to the window when the nausea within him bloomed, bid him to grab something, hold something, anchor himself against the current of this emotion. He wrapped his fingers back around it, put his head down and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. He was supposed to be meeting Jiang Wanyin in the Hall of Swords. He was going to be late.

There was no reason for this. There were duties to attend to, things he must do, errands he must run. A-Li had said she felt fine. They had a while, yet; weeks. Days. 

Days and he would hold a baby. His baby. Their baby. Made from them, of them, out of them and into the world where it could grow and think and laugh and run and leave and die--

A harsh, clamped down sound left him as he squeezed his eyes tighter, tucked his chin down lower as he rocked back again, stretching back from his arms, feeling the burn down the backs of his legs. Focus on the physicality. Focus on the feeling. Accept the inevitable; what was done was done. 

Bring in a life to the world and you bring in a death. How equitable, how balanced. How insane.

How was he allowed to do this? How could someone like him who had never dreamed of fatherhood past a vague, uninterested ‘perhaps’ of a future just...choose that? How on earth could someone like him be allowed to make another human and be tasked with its health, it’s happiness? What did he know of happiness, having had so precious little of it? 

Well, until now. And there lay the problem. 

For here he was, in a place he thought was exile but was, in fact, a seeming paradise unlike any he had known, full of ease and warmth and love and it was worse than he could ever have possibly imagined because he was used to the struggle it was supposed to have been. Had always been. Was going to have been. His goals had never been about comfort and love but about safety and what was owed to him. He was a Jin, therefore he would be a Jin--he would work to become it at the expense of everything and everyone else because it was the place he belonged. If he could get there, if he could be recognized, it would be Right. Not necessarily good, not necessarily comfortable, but Right. Safe.

And now here he was, miles and miles away at Lotus Pier, amongst Jiangs and Wens, lilypads and lotuses, and he was happy. Not necessarily Right. Not necessarily...Safe, in the most concrete of definitions. The scorch marks at the base of some buildings, the abundance of tablets in the shrine told how nebulous such physical safety might prove to be. The Jins had the money and numbers for that safety. But ask him--ask him, don’t ask him, please--whether he now wanted that or this and his hesitation would betray decades of his life, his promises to his mother, his plans. 

And it was all transient. Able to be taken and broken in the beat of a heart. Lanling was supposed to have been forever. Yunmeng was supposed to have been a setback, a roadblock, a stalling, a breaking, a dying of a dream. How on earth had this hidden in the folds of that? Just burst into being with no intention? How had this happened?

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t thought of these things throughout A-Li’s pregnancy, hadn’t spent many a night pacing throughout the walkways of Lotus Pier, taking care of this or that at some godsforsaken hour where he would sometimes cross paths with a cheery Wei Wuxian, wiling away the wee hours of the morning on less focused pursuits. But these thoughts had been successfully contained and filed away, not unearthing themselves in the light of day when other obligations required his attention. 

They would grow louder when he saw A-Li’s belly, when he lay his cheek on it in bed and felt the restless life within push back against him, but they were still containable, kept at bay by the sheer joy that lit his wife up whenever she caught him looking at her. She was infectious with it, her excitement to usher in this new person seeming so clean and pure and delightful through her eyes. And he could see it--of course he could--the joy in the idea of a little one who came out loving you, would only ever know loving you, if you did it right--

And that. And that made his stomach churn and his hands clench, made every uncertainty that had ever used his ribs as a ladder to his throat scream in chorus because it was if you did it right. There was no plan to cover everything. No contingency that caught everyone, in all cases. And there were so many ways to fail--in little ways, big ways, catastrophic ways. 

When this tumble of a thought started, it was nearly impossible not to be crushed beneath its roll, the parade of every man he had ever seen in the brothel of his childhood playing across the backs of his eyes, accompanied by the ever present absence and then terribly wounding reality of his own father. How could he not be like them? What treacherous part of his own psyche did he have to avoid so he did not wound this child the ways he had been? Could he? 

Could he only wait, without a plan, without warning, for the time that he would bring harm to his child, whether through action or inaction? He would go insane. He would absolutely lose his mind. 

He felt as if he was already. 

He pushed back from the window again, hard, swung himself around and set off for the Hall of Swords. The sun passed hot on his face through the windows, brief bands of cool striping over when he reached the edge. 

Jiang Wanyin was seated on the lotus throne with Wei Wuxian perched insolently on one of it’s sleek petals, both looking down at something in Jiang Wanyin’s hand. “Hello, Jin-gongzi,” came Wen Ning’s hesitant voice from his side and, wound as tight as he was, Jin Guangyao had to clamp down his startlement and instead offer a smile and nod to the man that moved as quietly as a ghost. 

“Good afternoon, Wen-gongzi. Jiang-zongzhu. Wei-gongzi.”

“Sooo formal,” Wuxian drawled, spinning Chenqing through his fingers with a grin. “Come here, we’ve got something to show you.” Eagerly, he hopped down, then hesitated and turned back to peer at him closely. “You alright?”

Jin Guangyao flashed a smile he knew pressed in his dimples and stuffed down every part of him that shook. “Perfectly.” When he approached, Jiang Wanyin traded a knowing, poorly suppressed smile with both Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning beside him and held out his hand.

In it was a tiny silver bell set on a long purple tassel, the knotwork fine and intricate, hung with a little jade lotus above it. The Jiang Sect’s Clarity Bell. Since it seemed to be what he was intending, Jin Guangyao accepted it with a smile and polite nod as he brought it closer to study, absorbing the engraving of the lotus petals on the metal, the clear chime that rang out when it moved. It was a beautiful little thing and it took him half a moment to realize that this was them seeking his approval for a gift for his child. The spread of his smile became slightly more real and he tilted his head. “Ah. It’s beautiful, Jiang-zongzhu.” A bit long for an infant, he added silently, but they will grow into it, certainly. “Very lovely.”

“Uh...mn,” Jiang Wanyin answered, the way he had started doing when he was unsure of what just happened and when he glanced up, he caught him sharing a befuddled look with Wei Wuxian.

“Wow. I dunno what I was expecting, but not that,” Wei Wuxian laughed, putting his hands on his hips and shaking his head as if he were puzzled. 

Jin Guangyao let his placeholder smile emerge, holding the pleasantness in place while his mind whirred, attempting to piece together what had gone wrong. Was he supposed to be more excited? He could certainly do that. “I appreciate it very much,” he elaborated, stroking a finger down the sleek tassels in obvious admiration. “The workmanship is incredibly intricate and lovely. A-Li will be very pleased and I’m sure it will serve our child well.” Perhaps it was supposed to be of bigger consequence--but if that were the case, wouldn’t there have been more ceremony?

Wei Wuxian snickered again, very clearly at him, and even Jiang Wanyin grinned, tilting his brother another one of those infuriating  looks that, at present, was sending irritation skittering down Jin Guangyao’s spine. Usually he had the patience for their antics, but with the background noise of his fear, it was a bit much. 

“Jin-g-gongzi,” Wen Ning spoke up again, the hint of a smile in his voice. “It’s for you.”

Jin Guangyao looked back at him, uncomprehendingly blank. It’s for him. What was for him? The bell? The bell was for the Jiang Sect--

His head jerked back around to stare at it again, his fingers closing like a vice around the smooth flow of the tassels. For him. It was for him. “But….” choked from him without warning, so he snapped his mouth shut and simply...stared.

“Oh-ho, that’s a new one. What does that one mean?” Wei Wuxian leaned down in his peripheral, the indistinct blur of his face cut with the white of his smile.

He could not answer. That burning, trembling fear was bubbling up his stomach, his throat, his spine until it throbbed in his temples and sinuses. 

“--figured it was about time, I mean, considering how long you’ve been here and all--” Wei Wuxian was saying breezily in the background, but Jin Guangyao felt the cold weight of Wen Ning’s gentle hand on his arm like gravity, pulling him back to this room. 

“Jin-gongzi, are you alright?” he asked, softly.

Wei Wuxian stopped at this and the brightly colored forms in the corners of his eyes drew closer, reached out to touch him as well, his shoulder, his arm. “Hey. Hey, Jin-xiong, look at me.”

He did, because it was simple, because it was asked of him and when he did, Wei Wuxian blinked. “Wow. You really didn’t know, did you?”

“We have one for the baby, of course,” Jiang Wanyin added in from his side, as if that was even remotely the problem. “It’s smaller, but….”

They seemed to be waiting for him to say something, which at this moment seemed absurdly impossible. It was for him. For him. Without asking. Without begging. Without having to bow and scrape and kowtow and….

They wanted him. They wanted him. They wanted him. 

He opened his mouth to say something, anything but all that came out was a strangled, shaky, “Ha….” that squeezed shut at the end as his stupid fucking traitorous ill-behaved throat closed and he, all at once, had to crouch down to stop the spinning in his idiot head, burying his face in his knees. There was a hand on his back as he sucked in a shuddering breath, then another on his wrist as someone crouched before him but he couldn’t look up because his eyes were dripping unsanctioned tears onto his purple robes and the clarity bell rang out sweetly with every ridiculous tremor of his hand. 

He didn’t want this. A child. A family. He couldn’t want this because he wanted this and if he wanted something, it would hurt to be taken away, it could tear him, it could kill him. He wasn’t big enough to have this many People huddle inside of his chest. He hadn’t enough heart to go around. 

But they wanted him anyway. Not out of obligation or guilt or political savvy or because he had done something so exceptional it could not be ignored but because they did. Him.

Help.

At least he had always cried quietly. The one blessing in this whole ordeal. If he couldn’t control his damn self, at least he wasn’t wailing like...an infant. A baby. His baby.

Gods, what in the hell was he doing?

“Should we get A-jie?” was muttered and he surged to his feet, startling Wei Wuxian stumbling back a few steps.

“No!” he gasped, allowing his hand to clamp onto Wen Ning’s supportive wrist so he didn’t topple over. “No, no, don’t bother A-Li, I’m fine, I’m--”

“You’re definitely not,” Wuxian interrupted with an incredulous laugh. “Did we break you? Is it bad?”

“Is it bad?” Jiang Wanyin echoed, quieter, more uncertain from his side and Jin Guangyao shook his head, tried desperately to latch back onto his control. 

“No, it’s not. It’s...um….” That stupid quaver spoiled it again as his gaze landed back on the bell, innocent and fine, resting on the backs of his knuckles from where it sprouted through his grip. His face crumpled anew, this time a little softer, at little less wildly transporting, but still fully out of his control and dammit, shit, and fuck. This was stupid. He was stupid. This didn’t need to be happening.

Wen Ning gently patted his back as he covered his face, trying in vain to stifle this absurd, unceasing flow that seemed to come from deep within him as every part of him writhed, knowing he was being seen doing this. Knowing that he could not stop. That this weakness was….

 On purpose? A small, helpless part of him was asking repeatedly. Did you mean to do this? You know everyone will be able to see if I wear this, right? This is on purpose? 

A stupid question. An obvious answer. The reasons for which eluded him. 

“If it upsets you so much, I could take it back for you,” Wei Wuxian teased--obviously teased--while reaching out and in the most terrifying motion he had ever made, Jin Guangyao jerked the bell away from him and pressed it to his middle. He hadn’t even meant to do it. 

He needed to leave.

“No. I’m fine. I...thank you. Thank you for this, I….” He looked over at Jiang Wanyin, saw the alarm and furrowed bemusement in his face and managed to force out, nakedly. “I’m...having a difficult time...absorbing this.”

“Well, that much is clear!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, clapping his brother on the shoulder. “Look, Jiang Cheng! We’ve made him speechless! Took the silver tongue right out of his head and turned it into a bell.”

“Are you...happy?” Jiang Wanyin asked, hesitantly.

Jin Guangyao was not so certain--was happiness supposed to burn like this? Dredge your deepest depths without mercy? But he could not lie and say that that small voice hadn’t now transmuted into simply chanting mine mine mine mine mine. He needed to absorb this. He needed to be away. It was wrong because it was not Right--but when had Right ever made him so warm? Golden. He swallowed and took a deep, shuddering breath, stifling the steady swell of tears with immense difficulty. “I think so.”

“You are so strange,” Wei Wuxian grinned, throwing his arms around him and Wen Ning. “Here, I’ll put it on.”

When he cheerily plucked the bell from Jim Guangyao's frozen grip, Jiang Wanyin shot his brother a scowl. "Don't you think I should be the one to do that?"

"I don't see you shifting yourself to, so it's my job as oldest brother to welcome him in," Wei Wuxian announced. "Deal with it."

It all seemed so wretchedly possible as he knelt down before him and gleefully manhandled his belt around, as Jin Guangyao just...let him, staring down at him in a daze. A life here, raising children--happy children with a happy wife and happy brother-in-law's and happy sect-mates. Happy. Ephemeral.  Delicate. Unprotected.

“There,” Wei Wuxian proclaimed as he rose again, wrapping his arm around his shoulders again and thumping his chest affectionately. “Now you’re officially one of us. It was all Jiang Cheng’s idea, to tell you the truth.”

It was all Jin Guangyao could do to take an iron grip of his throat’s functions, look up at Jiang Wanyin’s nervous smile and ask in a tight, small voice. “You’re sure?”

While his smile turned slightly sour with puzzlement, the Clan Leader gave a huff of amusement. “Of course I’m sure. What kind of question is that?”

“Congratulations, gongzi!” Wen Ning beamed eagerly, bobbing his head. They all looked at him with wide smiles. Now knowing smiles. The knowing that he wanted to hate but couldn’t muster more than a prickle.

When Jin Guangyao bowed, deeply, they scoffed and the tiny bell hung from his belt gave a little chime. Still smiling, they watched him go and he blindly made his way back and back and back to his room. To A-Li. 

She was reading on the bed when he burst in and she blinked up at him. “Oh! Are--” her eyes went to his hand, clutching the slim silk line that connected to his belt, and her worry melted away into beaming excitement. “So they did it? They made me promise not to be there. Here, come here, come here, you.” She held out her arms and he shakingly made his way to the bed and practically collapsed within them, burying his nose into the softness of her as she wrapped around him. 

Here, he was safe. Here, he could ask. “Is this alright?” he whispered, voice choked again. “Is this allowed?”

“Is what, A-Yao?”

He clenched the bell in one hand and laid the other on her stomach, both still trembling as he shook his head, encompassing all of it, everything, anything here.

“Oh, love,” she crooned into his hair, stroked his face. “Of course.”

And here, against her, in the quiet and the safety, he let the tears come again as the pressure threatened to burst him--let himself weep, either in joy or grief, for all the things he now had to lose.

[baoshan-sanren]

Chapter 2

of the wwx emperor au which probably won’t get a title before we get to chapter 30

Prologue

Chapter 1

By the time the small contingent of the Lan Sect leaves YiLing proper and begins their trip to the Immortal Mountain, the sun is slowly sinking beyond the horizon. They will be arriving late, but late is better than not showing at all, and the Lan Sect, more than any other, cannot afford to make missteps.

They had left six days ago to travel a distance that should have taken four days to cross. Lan XiChen now thinks that no advanced departure would have made a difference. Every step of the way, in every town they passed, in every inn where they had attempted to take a meal or beds for the night, they had met with some form of resistance. A few times, the innkeepers had been kind enough to come up with a believable excuse. It is the Emperor’s birthday, the second largest festival of the year. Many people were traveling to YiLing. There is simply no way to accommodate them all on their travels.

Most of the time, however, the Lan Sect had not been given the pretense of courtesy. In MoLing, where the Lan Sect had spent decades serving the populace, the innkeeper had gone as far as to spit at their feet. WangJi had drawn his sword, and the guards of the Mo Clan, drunkenly occupying two of the tables, had drawn theirs in response. It had taken XiChen nearly two hours to talk their way out of MoLing without any blood being shed.

They had stopped rarely since then, and only when necessary. Lan LiJun’s horse had thrown a shoe outside YunMeng; it had taken them an entire day to find a farrier who would not slam a door in their face. A particularly vicious autumn storm had washed away a bridge outside YiLing; not a single person they passed would tell them if there is another, or where there may find the safest way to cross the river.

They had finally arrived in YiLing at midday, and to their relief, found that there were still street vendors who did not care what robes they wore, as long as they could pay. But YiLing is the home of the Immortal Mountain, the home of the Empress, and there is not a single region in the world where CangSe SanRen had been more fervently loved.

There had been no use in looking for accommodations in YiLing, although they did try, wasting hours of precious daylight. In the end, the majority of their escort was left to camp outside the town itself, where they are likely to spend the next seven days sleeping on the ground with the sky as their cover.

Their invitation, unlike the ones issued to other large sects, only included the Sect Leader and the Young Masters of the Lan Sect. With their father in seclusion, and the attitude toward the Gusu Lan so hostile, uncle had made this particular trip alone for the past six years. XiChen does not know why this year is different, and he does not dare ask.

Uncle had borne all the indignities of the trip with single-minded perseverance. By his composure alone, no one would notice that anything at all is amiss. WangJi, on the other hand, had grown stiffer as the days went by, his face perpetually tight, filled with helpless fury. The indignities to himself he can bear well enough; XiChen had seen him endure more than once. But he is still not accustomed to tolerating the insults to those he cares for, and XiChen worries that his little brother will not learn to bend before he breaks.

Although they push their exhausted horses as hard as they dare, the night has fully fallen by the time they reach the foothills. The lights of the two watchtowers are the most welcome sight XiChen has seen since leaving Cloud Recesses. He does not doubt that the following seven days will hold much unpleasantness, and that further slights will be heaped on them all, but he is willing to bear it all in exchange for a night not spent on the cold, unforgiving ground.  

The guards clearly do not expect any further arrivals so late in the night, and more than one sneers at the sight of the Lan Sect robes. The highest ranking officer, his lion badge insignia on full display, studies their invitation for a very long time, despite the fact that it contains only three lines and the official seal.

The night is cold. XiChen had dismounted when uncle did, and now he feels the cold ground biting at his feet, the wind cutting across his robes. Ordinarily, he finds the cold easy to tolerate, but he has been doing so for six days now, and as the minutes stretch slowly, it is beginning to wear him down. He resists the urge to hunch his shoulders, least the guards take it for deference.

Finally, the officer hands the invitation back.

“This is no longer valid.”

XiChen is convinced that he had misheard. He waits for uncle to demand clarification, but uncle is silent and unmoving. WangJi must have moved however, because his horse stomps at the ground in irritation.

“I do not understand,” XiChen says, as it seems that no one else is willing to speak.

“The invitation is no longer valid. You were to arrive on the last day of the lunar cycle.”

“But-- that is today,” XiChen says.

For a few moments, he is genuinely confused. Twenty Sect members had left Gusu on the same day, and traveled together for the last six days. They could not have all miscounted the days.

“No,” the officer says firmly, “The last day of the lunar cycle was yesterday.”

It takes him another few moments to understand something that, he now thinks, uncle must have understood right away. The reason the officer had taken so long to study the invitation. The reason he had made them wait for nearly an hour.

For the first time in days, after all the humiliations and insolence tolerated with equanimity, he feels a cold thread of anger coil in his chest. He pushes it down however, determined to stay calm.

“There was an incident outside YiLing,” he says, “A bridge that was washed away by a storm. I am afraid it delayed our travel.”

“You must be mistaken,” the guard says, “No such neglect could have occurred under the care of the current YiLing magistrate.”

WangJi’s horse stomps at the ground again, and XiChen resists the urge to look back. He does not want to see what expression his brother is wearing, but he is willing to wager that it will not help their predicament.

“What is this?” a voice comes form the darkness, and the guards all stiffen at once.

They turn and bow deeply, the contrast to the discourteous reception given to Lan QiRen made even more blatantly obvious by the gesture.

“General Nie,” the officer greets.

A man emerges from the darkness, mounted on a war horse as tall as XiChen himself. His own mare, a nervous creature on the best of days, tries to skitter away in fright. It takes him a few moments to settle her, then offer a bow himself, his face now hot with embarrassment. Uncle’s horse had remained cool and still, and WangJi’s had been easily restrained. Only Xianqiao had made a fuss.

By then, Nie MingJue had dismounted as well. He bows, the first courtesy given to the Gusu Lan since the day they had left Cloud Recesses.

“What is the issue?” he addresses the officer, and the man stutters in response.

Nie MingJue does not seem to possess a great store of patience. He only listens to the officer stammer for a few moments before that patience runs out.

“Nonsense,” he barks, “Do you intend to deny me entrance as well?”

The officer looks absolutely terrified at the idea.

“Keeping guests out in the wind over nonsense,” MingJue spits out coldly, “Useless. Get back to your post. You!” he barks at another guard, the man nearly jumping out of his skin at being addressed, “Take their horses.”

The officer does not waste time scurrying back to the watchtower. Their horses are taken away with speed that would be humorous in any other situation.

Passing his own reins to another guard, Nie MingJue clears his throat, and addresses uncle, “Sect Leader, if you would follow me.”

The thousands of steps leading up to the Immortal Mountain City are well-lit, delicate lanterns swaying on either side, stretching their shadows long. For the first time since his arrival, Nie MingJue’s face is fully visible, and XiChen realizes that the man is much younger than he had expected him to be.

He has heard stories of the Nie Sect Leader. Gossip is forbidden at Cloud Recesses, but unlike his younger brother, XiChen does occasionally leave Gusu. It is hard to completely ignore gossip in winehouses and inns, where the alcohol only makes tongues looser and voices louder.

The man who had descended from butchers, but had managed to rise to the rank of a General under the current Emperor, is one of the favorite topics among the ordinary people. Nie MingJue is considered to be a ruthless strategist and a terrifying force in battle, a man of uncertain temperament and unshakeable convictions. But he is also described as seven feet tall, with eyes made of fire, and multiple scars marring his face.

There are no scars on Nie MingJue’s face that XiChen can see. Although he is tall, he is not much taller than XiChen himself. He is certainly more courteous than any Sect Leader XiChen has met so far; the hard planes of his face may look unforgiving, but XiChen thinks they suit him well, and--

Nie MingJue meets his eyes, and XiChen looks away, flustered.

He feels that they should thank Nie MingJue for his interference, but it is not on him to do so, and uncle is still silent, his expression unreadable.

At the gate, Nie MingJue leaves them in the care of servants who will escort them to their lodgings. He bows again before departing, and if it seems that his eyes linger a little longer on XiChen than they do on the others, XiChen is sure that his imagination is playing tricks on him.

[many-gay-magpies]

@honeyseungz @loabivey so that uh. that mini au that you had like a very small rb thread about yesterday (well over a few days ago now that im posting this). well uh. um . actually you know what im just gonna let you read it yourselves

so. heeseung, jay, and sunoo are all brothers. wether its actual brothers or just "brothers" by blood bond or whatever idk. but, regardless, they're brothers. im thinking that like, at first they aren't vampires, theyre just regular dudes yknow? (and just a forewarning, a lot of this isnt gonna be as compliant with the enhaverse theorizing we've done so far, it's just a little brain worm i wanted to play around with, throwing a little bit of enhaverse crumbs in here and there)

but anyway. they're not vampires, im thinking theyre just like... adopted/found family brothers, probably orphans or something. regardless they love each other a lot and its great. personality-wise everything is super different, but just for plot conveniences, heeseung, jay, and sunoo are the yunmeng trio (heeseung as wwx, jay as jc, and sunoo as jyl respectively), and jungwon is lwj.

the three brothers meet jungwon, probably brought together by this Big Fantasy Evil, maybe something involving the vampire queen as a character? idk. there's some big evil shit going down, and the three brothers somehow end up with jungwon and HIS big bro, who im imagining is jake (basically the lan xichen in this situation—very soft, kind, gentle; the vibes are right). both of them are vampires, not that our three orphan bois know that. they get caught up in the danger, and vampire bros jake and jungwon coms to the rescue.

now, a little bit of personality-mapping here: jay is outwardly very loud, fun, temperamental, and sarcastic, generally very much like he is irl; but inside, he's intensely loyal, protective, and loving, with a HUGE soft spot for the people closest to him. sunoo is very sweet, sensitive, and kind—the walking hug of the three brothers, who is certainly not without his bite and wont hesitate to talk back to anyone who hurts them. aggressively and without mercy. also he makes them soup for comfort and is generally best boy. heeseung is very goofy, playful, free-spirited, and bright, but insecure and sensitive underneath it all; generally a loud annoying mess of a boy. pure chaotic neutral and a gremlin if there ever was one. jungwon, on the other hand, is... not. he's nervous, quiet, cautious to a fault and intensely righteous, always standing up for what's right and refusing to waver from his chosen path. very lawful good vibes. he, naturally, is more than a little put off when jay, sunoo, and heeseung's chaotic ass come crashing into he and his brother jake's once-peaceful (ish) lives. and it doesn't help that heeseung is a... huge flirt, and apparently deadset on making jungwon his friend. fuck.

jungwon... doesn't know what to do. and it would all be so much easier if heeseung were dumb or stupid or unattractive or just a total asshole—but he isnt any of those things. he's beautiful, smart, insanely witty with a brain faster than any jungwon's ever seen—he can't help but admire him. but on top of that, he's wreckless as hell, unpredictable, and pushy, and gives jungwon heart attacks way too much for his liking. he doesn't even have a heartbeat. he's fucking dead.

it eventually comes out that jake and jungwon are vampires; the brothers are surprisingly cool with it. not the craziest thing that's happened to them.

the five boys get closer, staying together as they fight their foe (which im becoming increasingly inclined to make the werewolves), and through a series of convoluted events, jungwon learns that heeseung is not only gorgeous, smart, talented, and funny as all get-out, but also sensitive, caring, insecure, and thoughtful... and heeseung, who's only goal had been to break through the nervous and straightforward outer shell of his young dongsaeng, does just that. and jungwon, naturally, starts to fall in love.

somewhere along the line, though, things go wrong—as they were bound to do in an au loosely based off of the untamed. something happens to heeseung; he's fatally wounded after saving jay's life, and disappears, nowhere to be found. his brothers eventually assume the worse; that he's gone forever. but the queen finds him, takes care of him, nurses him back to health. turns him.

when he comes back, nothing's the same. the war is still going, and his brothers thought he was dead—but he isn't. but he's... different. jungwon and jake are quick to realize that he's been turned, how, they dont know—but they talk to him, teach him, try to help him, jungwon especially. of course he does; he's in love. heeseung, of course, is dismissive; doesn't take it seriously. ill be fine, whats so bad about this? or, perhaps, he doesn't let on just how hard he's taking it; fearing vulnerability more than he fears being a vampire.

inevitably, though, heeseung's wrecklessness leads to doom—he lets his bloodlust overtake him, relishes in it, no matter how much jungwon had warned him against it, pleaded with him to take caution. he says it's usefull—says he can help them take out enemies, help them win this war. jungwon warns him that he could end up getting more than he bargained for. heeseung doesn't listen.

heeseung helps them win the war; practically wins it for them. hes happy, bitterly, until he isnt. he's happy, until he sees his brother—sees sunoo. blood-covered, pale-skinned, drained.

no.

heeseung is broken. jay even moreso. jay yells at him; yells and yells and yells and yells. curses him out, tells him he hates him, tells him he's nothing but cruel evil—he doesn't mean it, of course, but no one knows it then, not even him. now he is only angry; so, so angry. heeseung, wrought with guilt and shame and grief, flees—hides himself somewhere secluded, does the closest thing a vampire can possibly do to death, the equivalent of a thousand-year hibernation. none can find him, he's made sure of that. in his guilt and shame and anger he stews, asleep, for hundreds, thousands of years.

after the anger passes, jay is more than anything in mourning—for heeseung as well as for sunoo. he has a realization, that being that, when, inevitably, heeseung comes back, he doesn't want him to be alone: even if he'll have jungwon and jake, it won't be the same as having his brother. so jay pleads, cries, begs for jungwon to turn him—so that they can search for heeseung together, so that when heeseung comes back, he'll have jay waiting for him, too. so, reluctantly, jungwon gives in and turns jay—after which he helps him deal with his newfound immortality and vampiric status—helping him handle his bloodlust and helping him learn how to feed. over the centuries that heeseung is gone, jay, jungwon, and jake grow even closer (j line eyyy), inseparable as they search for heeseung and even outside of that. jungwon and jay are the closest, jay growing a colossal soft spot for the boy and not hesitating to take him under his wing and protect him with all he has (initially, sort of as a replacement for protecting heeseung, but eventually jay's affection for jungwon grows into something all it's own). to be clear, no love triangle bullshit here, only sickening-sweet platonic soulmates jaywon and a jungwon that is still achingly in love with heeseung.

(okay for anyone thats actually watched cql/read mdzs, yes i KNOW lwj and jc did not get along at all and kind of hated each other but. this is my au i do what i want, and if i want to add soft jaywon into the mix then im fucking going to, goddamnit)

OKAY TIME FOR SOME WACKY SIDE-PLOT MADNESS

so. sunghoon. how does he fit into all this? how does he end up being the one to trigger heeseung's "resurrection"? how does heeseung GET resurrected in the first place? well, not to worry, you're about to find out! and i am too because i'm just figuring this out as i go along baybyyyy

sunghoon, im thinking, is a friend of jake's (lets throw some jakehoon in here too bcs why not), either from before everything went to shit and heeseung went and isolated himself, or sometime during the numerous centuries jakewon spent looking for heeseung with jay. either way, sunghoon is this boy who jake is friends with and cares about a lot, and is also maybe kind of in love with. while jaywon spend most of their time looking for heeseung, jake spends his with sunghoon—finding himself often alone, now that his little bother is going off on his own adventures.

in a situation quite similar to heeseung's, sunghoon probably gets fatally injured somehow and is near death, but jake, not wanting him to die, decides to turn him instead. niki is also involved, and it's a sort of package deal, because before meeting jakewon, heeseung, and everyone, they were their own little thing; not unlike jay, heeseung, and sunoo's brother's triad. they were both probably orphans, niki being the much younger one, and as such sunghoon took him under his wing and never looked back. when jake turned sunghoon, niki was basically like "m8 what the fuck" and demanded he be turned too, not wanting his sunghoon-hyung to live on forever while he grew old and died. jake, also having a soft spot for niki, was like "fine alright" and turned him too. so, now their little vampire coven numbered five, and all was (moderately) well.

or not.

the thing was, jake hadn't anticipated how powerful sunghoon would be—there's nothing in life that anyone's found yet that would indicate a person's level of power once turned, so jake had... pretty much no way to see this coming. but, anyway, sunghoon was... really, really powerful. like, insanely powerful. all the abilities vampires were said to have in legends, the likes of which were previously reserved for just legends, he had them; flawless teleportation, mind control, shape-shifting, the whole bit. and on top of that, he was controlled—insanely good at monitoring himself and keeping tabs on his own instincts. one of the most self-sufficient, well-mannered vampires jake had ever seen. it was... frankly insane.

the problem? the queen. this is where she comes in, because she's played a part in all the boys' transformations, albeit indirectly—when jake and jungwon first turned, it was she who turned them. she could sense sunghoon's power, and she wanted it for herself. jake and jungwon had done well at avoiding her, even forgetting about her for a while; but what she wanted, she took, and take she did. it was sunghoon she took: luring him to her in small increments and then all at once, taking control of him, turning him into a mindless puppet. sunghoon had always prided himself in control, and without it, havoc wreaked: bodies dropping left and right, people being killed seemingly at random, their only purpose being to instill fear and paranoia.

now, niki had heard tales, before, from his hyungs but also from regular townspeople to whom the legend had gotten passed down, of heeseung, and how great and terrible he was. heeseung, the townspeoples' folktales said, had been insane, unstoppable: a mad genius far too gone for redemption. niki also knew from his hyungs' fond stories that heeseung, more than evil, was kind and caring; he was loyal, and powerful in his loyalty, and niki thought that if anyone could save his sunghoon-hyung, it was heeseung.

so niki went on a journey. without telling jaywon or anyone else (and thus causing quite the panic), he spent years searching for heeseung, everywhere jaywon had thought to look and everywhere they hadn't, and twice more for good measure. and, by some stroke of luck, either due to his own sheer force of will of something else entirely, niki found him: locked away in an old castle that never quite seemed to stay put, constantly phasing in between realities. it made sense why no one had found him before then—he didn't want to be found. desperately, in fact.

but niki, too, was desperate. he enacted a ritual that was said (by jake, so of course it was to be trusted) to wake any vampire that had gone into hibernation, and, miracles continuing to work for the bitter young boy, it worked. heeseung awoke—startled to find himself staring into the face of a very teary, very angry (visibly) sixteen-year-old.

confusion passed, things and motives were explained, and heeseung (although bitter at having been woken up, and still riddled with enough guilt to last 1500 lifetimes) attempted to patiently tell niki that he had no fucking idea how to help sunghoon whatsoever. niki pretty much said "well you better fucking find a way because you're not going back to sleep now, the world's about to fucking end. also jay and jungwon-hyung have been looking for you for literal centuries, do you know how pissed theyd be if i went out looking for you, found you, then came back empty-handed? really fucking pissed is how much. also sad. did i mention sad?" and heeseung, notoriously weak and also kind of (read: very) in love, is just like "...jungwon? jay?"

so niki brings heeseung back to the others, the return journey taking a long enough time that the two become significantly close to each other, heeseung's long-forgotten big brother instincts (tm) kicking in around the younger vampire. niki has to basically drag heeseung out of the castle by his teeth, because as much as he misses his brother and jungwon, he's still so incredibly guilty, and completely convinced that he isnt worth love or life whatsoever and that jay still hates his guts. and, jungwon... he doesn't even want to think about jungwon. how he failed him. how he let him down. but, niki slowly works through the insecurities, bit by bit: assuring heeseung that, no, even though jay will definitely rip him a new one once he sees him again, he'll also cry and hug him for at least 24 hours because he misses him like hell and heeseungie hyung you have no idea.

they weather a lot together. storms, mental breakdowns, bouts of blood-starvation so severe heeseung thinks he'll lose it again: but they're there for each other. they hunt, talk, keep each other warm, and in it, form an unbreakable bond. niki had heard tales of the legendary lee heeseung, who wiped out entire armies in two seconds flat and comforted his friends when they were sad and annoyed jay to the very ends of the earth: but what he's faced with is a man with more insecurities than niki has hairs on his head—and he has a lot of hairs on his head.

by the time they make it back to the coven's home, heeseung has grown sufficiently attached to the enigma that is niki, and has almost completely but it out of his mind that he's here for his old friends, too. he's only doing this for niki: it's a fact he's comfortable with. so when they reach the front steps he just... freezes.

i have a very clear image of it in my head—jungwon, jay, and jake sense niki's presence, in some weird vampire-y way. it's been around 10, 15 years since he left at this point, so of course they rush out to greet him, ready with scoldings and lashings about how stupid he had been (after, of course, making sure he's unharmed and alright)—but it all dies on their tongues as soon as they see who's with him.

frozen. everything is frozen.

i imagine it's a lot like lulu and artzyy's post. jungwon is the first to move, stepping forward and whimpering out a broken "hyung", and all heeseung's guilt and avoidance is forgotten in favor of cradling jungwon to his chest, holding him close and whispering reassurances into the crown of his head, wonnie, im so sorry, hyung's so sorry; i didn't mean to leave you for so long, i'm here now, its okay. and of course then jay comes in, crying and screaming about how the fuck is it okay, how can it ever be okay, how could you just not mean to leave us alone for 1500 years?! how the fuck do you just expect to waltz back into our lives like nothing ever happened and pretend its all okay?!? and then he hits him, and hurts him, tries to make him feel even an inkling of the hurt he was made to feel for the past fifteen hundred years—but then punching him turns into fisting hands into the back of his shirt and sobbing into his neck and holding him so tight he wouldn't be able to breath if he had the need to and please, please don't leave, why would you leave, you asshole, why did you leave?

so yeah. things happen. reunions are had, tears are shed. some indirect heewon love confessions probably happen later on in the form of very intense devotions of life and self and all that. "walking on the single-log bridge in the dark really isnt so bad" you know the whole shbang. meanwhile jay salty in the background just like "cant you just say you love each other like normal human beings jesus fucking christ"

jayseung's relationship (or the reigniting of it) is, well, rocky. they're both conflicted—jay even more than heeseung. because, the thing is, heeseung killed sunoo. as regretful as he is, that doesn't make it any easier to forget. but he's back, and alive, and in one piece, and he isn't leaving, and jay knows it wasn't really his fault, he wasn't in control—but he killed him. he killed their brother. and it WAS his own stupid fault for losing control in the first place, for not listening to jungwon, so what the hell is jay supposed to think? he flip-flops between being intensely grateful that heeseung is back and okay and finally with them again, and then remembering what he's done, giving him the cold shoulder and not speaking to him for hours on end. and all the while, heeseung is riddled with guilt, and shame, and grief he'd suppressed for far too long; niki's stubbornness combined with jungwon's unwavering support being the only things keeping him from bolting into oblivion all over again. all in all, it's a difficult time—but they get there. eventually.

naturally, they save sunghoon. what else is there to do? they defeat the queen, break her control over their friend—and then jakehoon have their own teary reunion, not unlike heewon's, and sungki have theirs, not unlike jayseung's (although with a... considerable decrease in cursing and conflicted emotions, and a lot more immediate sobbing). they're a mess—sunghoon is traumatized, heeseung is traumatized, jay and niki are traumatized, they're all just fucking traumatized. jayseung will probably take a long time to get back to the way they once were, if it's even possible—there'll always be an empty space there, something gone, something missing, and it's one that can't be filled. jungwon barely lets heeseung out of sight or touch alike, and heeseung isn't much better off. jay's always been the more touchy one out of the three of them; but after years of missing, of longing, there's plenty of time to be made up, and heeseung is just... so, so soft, and warm, and being held by him is the loveliest thing jungwon's ever known.

AND NOW A SUNOO THING, BECAUSE THE IDEA OF ENHA LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER AS OT6 WITH SUNOO JUST FUCKING DEAD DOES. NOT WORK FOR ME

so like. sunoo isn't dead, or he doesn't stay dead, or not the soulless-unmoving kind of dead anyway. you know how necromancy and fierce corpses exist in donghua and shit? well they exist here too because fuck you and also i said so. i made myself sad and now im making it happy again goddamnit.

anyway. after he dies, sunoo gets found by the queen, too, and because she's all-powerful and whatnot she fucking necromances him—figures he'll be useful later. as he is, though, he's basically nothing more than a puppet; like wen ning and song lan were when they were being controlled. his soul isn't... gone exactly, just imprisoned, prevented from being able to come forward and command his body.

so. sunoo is still partially alive, and the boys (jay, jake, jungwon, sunghoon, niki, and whatnot)... don't know that. i imagine that for pretty much the entirety of the centuries that heeseung is gone, sunoo's status as a necromanced fierce corpse goes entirely unknown to them, and it's only after heeseung is brought back by niki that he starts to resurface. i imagine they realize it in a sort of tense, action-filled scenario: the boys have gone to investigate another attack, thinking it's sunghoon, but as it turns out the queen has had TWO undead corpses running around doing her dirty work instead of one. and one of them is sunoo.

heeseung and jay, of course, are stunned. they cant believe it's real; it isn't real, it can't be—and yet.

a lot of angsty plot stuff happens—i dont have the energy or enough shits to give to figure out what. the thing is, the queen only kept sunoo this long and brought him out as a tactic to lure heeseung, make him weaker; and it probably worked. in the midst of both fighting against sunghoon and fighting to SAVE sunghoon, heeseung is bent on saving sunoo as well, and there's probably a lot of very angsty talk wherein there are disagreements about who's life, really, is more important in this situation, and if heeseung is just trying to make up for what he did to sunoo. regardless, heeseung ends up saving sunoo and bringing his soul back to the surface. what he doesn't expect is for sunoo to forgive him—fully and wholeheartedly. and it feels wrong, because no, you should be angry with me, you should hate me and want to hurt me like i hurt you; but sunoo is just... happy. happy that he's back, happy that heeseung is back, happy that they're all together again. and its conflicting, to say the least. even moreso because sunoo isnt stupid—he didnt just act like heeseung was an innocent who did no wrong; he knew he had been wreckless, knew he was at fault, and he forgave him still. loved him still. that was something heeseung... hadn't been prepared for.

like i said in the last part, they save sunghoon; how, im not sure, but they save him, probably with a fair bit of sunoo's help, and they're together again. only the tiny difference here is that sunoo is with them too. sunoo is back, and the gang has yet another undead bestie to teach the ropes of being a vampire to. things are awkward, obviously, especially between the original brother's trio of heeseung, sunoo, and jay; because sunoo is his usual sweet and kind self while jay believes that he should be more angry at heeseung for killing him, heeseung agrees, and jay has some very conflicted feelings about how self-depricating his hyung is being (because like... yeah you killed sunoo and im supposed to hate you but you're not supposed to hate yourself, you idiot, what the fuck?)

(also like. if we're gonna take some more crumbs from cql canon here im gonna go ahead and say sunoo's death was at least somewhat self-sacrificial, even if it was heeseung that ended up causing it in the end)

(i kind of love how jiang cheng-y i made enhaverse jay here to be honest)

(okay this has been in my drafts WAY too long because ive been waiting for some miraculous Other Detail i need to add to pop up in my mind, but honestly i can just add anything else i think of in a reblog afterwards, this bitch just needs to see the light of day)

[lotusjwy]

“Didn’t you see what I did?!” wwx and lwj, clearly i love Pain - @gremlinmetawin

hello, wangxian is so hard to write and i think i complained about that a lot today 😭  i once again have decided to make this a slight continuation of the last prompt i wrote (again will link the first AND second bits for anyone who hasn’t read it, below!) i’m not entirely happy with this, bc i’ve never written anything that isn’t... well jiang cheng centric, so i didn’t know how to navigate it??? but i hope you like it all the same??? thank u for getting my creative juices flowing, ur always so giving 💜 @gremlinmetawin

It had been a long day for Lan Wangji, and it was only the early afternoon. He wanted nothing more than to drag Wei Ying back to the Jingshi and spend the remainder of their day alone. However, unfortunately that wasn’t a possibility with his brother not leaving his rooms for the day, leaving Lan Wangji to deal with some duties that required immediate attention. Thankfully, Wei Ying had decided to accompany him for the day, making his duties seem less like work and more like running errands with the love of his life.

As they were passing by the Hanshi, Lan Wangji averted his eyes from the dwelling, not wanting to be tempted to go see his brother, having learned from his past mistakes. He wished that there was something he could do for Xichen, that would stop him from getting into these moods, knowing that they were just as draining on him, as they were on those he spoke to.

He was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts, when he felt his husband urgently pulling at his robes.

“Did Xichen-ge play the flute this morning?” Wei Wuxian sounded frantic, his eyes wide, something hidden behind them. Perhaps fear? Wangji was unsure, but he was just as reluctant to let his husband go anywhere near his brother today. Wei Ying had refused to tell him what Xichen had said to him that time, but he knew that the other had had nightmares about it for a long time after, and likely still wasn’t completely over it, even if the two had made their amends.

“He did not. If you wish to see him, you should go tomorrow, instead.” He hoped that whatever Wei Ying wanted from Xichen could wait, otherwise he was not above physically dragging the other away from here. He refused to let Wei Ying see Xichen right now and would do everything in his power to stop it.  

However, it would seem that that wasn’t the case, as the Wei Ying seemed to grow irritated at Wangji, “ugh, no, didn’t you see what I did?!” Wei Ying’s attention was no longer solely focussed on Lan Wangji, as he seemed to be searching for something or someone, “someone let Jiang Cheng go see him, fuck.”

Oh. Lan Wangji actually hadn’t seen Jiang Wanyin, as he had purposefully not been looking towards the Hanshi and had thus, apparently, missed seeing Jiang Wanyin.

If it had been anyone else, Lan Wangji would have pitied the person who unknowingly stumbled upon Lan Xichen whilst he was in one of his moods. However, this was Jiang Wanyin, who had more or less spent the past two decades having built up his reputation by being just as hostile, and so he voiced this to his husband. “I’m sure xiongzhang would have said nothing that Jiang Wanyin hasn’t heard about himself before. Would he not be fine?”

This proved to be a mistake on his part, having somehow forgotten how fiercely protective Wei Ying was over Jiang Wanyin. Wei Ying rounded on his husband, his eyes narrowing in a glare that hadn’t been directed at him in a very long time. “Lan Zhan, we are going to have a serious talk about this later. But for now, I have to go find my idiot brother who’s probably about to shut himself away from everyone he cares about, again.” And with that, he had quickly left, supposedly to find Jiang Wanyin and give him comfort from whatever Lan Xichen had said to him.

Lan Wangji went about the remainder of his day in a trance like state, not being used to Wei Ying being mad at him, without them immediately resolving the                                                                     argument. Of course, they had gotten into fights, what couple did not? But they had generally been about Wei Ying’s lack of care towards himself, rather than something Lan Wangji had done. He wasn’t used to this and he could honestly say that he did not like it. All he could do now was wait for Wei Ying to return and hope that Wei Ying would no longer be mad at him.

It was well after dinner when Wei Ying had finally arrived back, shutting the doors softly behind him. Lan Wangji had winded down from the day, what with 9pm drawing near, though he was growing more impatient for Wei Ying’s return. As time had passed in the day, he had been tempted to go in search of Wei Ying wanting to smooth things over. However, he knew that his husband wouldn’t appreciate him interrupting his time with Jiang Wanyin.

Neither of them said a word to each other, for a few moments, letting an uncomfortable silence fall upon them. Wei Ying moved to grab a bottle of Emperor’s Smile from their ‘secret’ stash and sat down, gesturing for his husband to sit with him.

Letting out a sigh, Wei Ying took a drink directly from the jar before speaking, “do you want to hear what your brother said to Jiang Cheng?”

Lan Wangji could only assume the venom that his brother had spat out, but nodded all the same, “Mn.”

“He told my brother that he killed innocent people for no reason, that he and the cultivation world would have benefitted from him shutting himself away from society.” Taking another swig, Wei Wuxian laughed ruefully, not at all enjoying the situation they were in. A better part of his day was spent comforting his brother and ensuring that he was okay before letting him go back to Lotus Pier, and now he had to work through how his soulmate still hates one of the only family members he has left. “He strung my brother along, let him think that he cared, and then used that against him.”

“Xiongzhang doesn’t mean anything he says on these days…” And that was something that Lan Wangji wholeheartedly believed, he refused to believe that Lan Xichen had meant any of the words that he uttered in these instances.

He tiredly rubbed his hands over his face, trying to consider how to construct his thoughts from here on out, knowing that Lan Wangji would defend his brother to no ends, apparently not realising that Wuxian would do the same. “But Jiang Cheng doesn’t know that, Lan Zhan. How could he have known that when no one told him?”

Wei Ying had a point and Wangji knew it, but he still didn’t understand why Wei Ying was so upset over it, these were words Jiang Wanyin had heard before, “perhaps he should have been told, however it’s not the first time he’s had these wor-“

Wei Ying cut him off, fury in his eyes, “he’s had these words spat at him before, is that what you want to say?”

Lan Wangji silently nodded in response to the other, shocked at the anger he could feel radiating from his husband.

“Who fucking cares, Lan Zhan? I’ve had poison spat at me as well, yet you are there to defend me at every step, regardless of how many times I’ve heard it. Why is it any different when its Jiang Cheng?” And wasn’t that the truth. Any time someone so much as breathes wrong in Wuxian’s direction, Lan Zhan is there in an instant, ready to cut the person’s throat, just to defend his honour.

“You… didn’t do the things you’re accused of.” Lan Wangji was beginning to see the fault in his thoughts, that perhaps he wasn’t being as unbiased as he had originally assumed.

“But I did, Lan Zhan. I did cultivate demonic cultivation. I did leave the cultivation society for the Wen remnants. I killed so many people, I did all of the things they accused me off. I couldn’t control it! Yet you choose to protect me but also to demonise my brother.” Wei Wuxian stopped speaking to take another long drink from the Emperor’s Smile jar. “Lan Zhan, I love you, I love you so much, but I need you to stop hating him so openly.”

“He hates me too.” Perhaps it was a petty response, but Wangji didn’t enjoy being on the other end of being scolded by his cultivation partner.

“Jiang Cheng only gives out what he receives. If you show him kindness and respect, then he will show that back to you in return.” It was always something Wei Wuxian had always noticed about Jiang Cheng, if someone was kind to him, then he would be kind in return, albeit in his own, angry way, but kind all the same. And if you show him nothing but resentment, then he finds no reason to be kind in return. “I’m not asking you and him to get along and become friends, I know how unlikely that is. I’m just asking for you to give him the benefit of the doubt. For you and him to be in a room together without me worrying that the two of you will kill each other. Please.”

Wei Ying was looking at Lan Wangji with desperation in his eyes, and an overall tired look on his face. He hadn’t realised how much this had been weighing on his husband’s mind, and so he had no choice but to agree, “…mn, I promise to try harder to be kind to Jiang Wanyin, in the future.”

“Thank you. I’m sorry I spoke like that to you, but I needed you to understand.”

“Mn. It’s okay.” But there was still one thing lingering on his mind, that Wei Ying hadn’t answered for him yet. “I am... still unsure on something... You do not get upset when people talk about you, why does Jiang Wanyin?”

“Imagine if I had condemned your every move, Lan Zhan. Every life choice you made the past two decades. Not a random disciple from a random sect, but me, your husband.” He looked away from the other, knowing that Lan Wangji would draw his own conclusions about their brothers relationship, or lack thereof, on his own from his words. “Imagine someone you love saying something so horrible about you to your face, saying that they no longer want to be in your company because it’s tiresome to them, and you have no idea why they’d said it. That’s why he got upset, not because of what was said, but because of who said it.”

Lan Wangji began nodding, his mind reeling at the fact that Wei Ying had implied that Jiang Wanyin had feelings for his brother, but he understood what the other was saying. Jiang Wanyin had no idea that Lan Xichen got into these moods, and so he had believed that the other had meant the words that he had said to him. “I apologise for thinking and speaking so carelessly. I’ll try to be more lenient towards Jiang Wanyin in the future.”

Wei Ying gave his cultivation partner the biggest grin that he could muster, “that’s all I could ask from you, Lan Zhan. I’m sorry that I had to leave you alone all day, you must have been so worried.” He stood up, bringing his jar of Emperor’s Smile with him and immediately sat himself down on Lan Wangji’s lap, wrapping his arms around the other’s neck.

“Mn, it is okay. Jiang Wanyin needed you, and you are now here with me.” Lan Wangji smiled at Wei Ying, and gently wrapped his arms around his waist, holding him in place as he pressed a firm kiss to the other’s lips.

[crossdressingdeath]

Mind giving us a hot take on this? agendratum(.)tumblr(.)com / post /627651567021162496 / so-i-saw-this-tweet-and-remembered-a-little Like I think this is selfish.. JYL knew that people were there to kill her baby brother and her baby brother was in so much pain, he was the one in need. I know JC was suffering too, but that suffering would not kill him. WWX's suffering WOULD and KILLED him. Yanli knew that. Damn, she literally had just been stabbed because they tried to kill WWX. So yeah..

Surprisingly not as bad as I expected. I mean, they’re focusing on JC’s feelings but also saying outright that JC has the wrong impression, although I hate the suggestion that they all fucked up equally because let’s face it only one of them was trying to murder their sibling. You don’t see WWX or JYL strolling into a pledge conference to offer their forces to the cause of cutting JC down! But still, JYL went to Nightless City to save WWX’s life. That’s why she was there! To save him! And she succeeded in doing so if only briefly! Of course WWX is her top priority!

Okay, I think what’s happening here is that people talking about how bad poor baby JC must have felt when JYL let go of him to comfort WWX are misunderstanding or ignoring what’s happening in this scene. It’s not JYL not caring to comfort JC, it’s JYL looking at WWX and knowing he’s going to blame himself for this, knowing he’ll spend the rest of his life hating himself for having played a part in her death. It’s not that she doesn’t care about JC; it’s that she knows her brothers and in this moment she is trying to forestall a lifetime of misery for WWX by showing, as she dies, that she loves him and doesn’t blame him for anything that happened. I imagine the thought that she needed to also keep JC from blaming WWX even after she specifically says it wasn’t his fault didn’t even occur to her, because JYL always thinks the best of her brothers. And also she’s probably well aware that if he loses control in his grief it will be a slaughter of a magnitude no one is prepared to manage, so there’s also an element of pragmatism; JC might feel bad about not having her attention, but there’s no point in giving him her attention when not focusing on WWX and trying to calm him down could end with everyone there including JC dead before WWX can regain control enough to stop. And also... yeah, WWX is in immediate life-threatening danger here. JYL isn’t stupid. She knows that WWX is in deep shit and very unlikely to get out of this with his life or sanity intact. JC might miss her for the rest of his life, but at least he has a life ahead of him in which she probably expected him to come to understand that in that moment doing something to keep WWX from blaming himself and/or completely losing control like he did at Qiongqi Pass was genuinely more important than looking at JC. Also she’s still in his arms, it’s not like she’s shoving him away or anything. 

Although I have to admit... JYL probably knew that JC willingly brought the Jiang cultivators to Nightless City, and she definitely knew the only reason to be there was for the sect leaders to swear their forces to killing WWX. As I said, JYL isn’t stupid. Quite possibly she was quietly furious at JC for willingly joining a force planning to murder their brother, especially given his argument for not helping WWX and essentially leaving him to die was that Yunmeng wasn’t strong enough to support him; if Yunmeng wasn’t strong enough for JC to so much as say a single word in their brother’s defense, how does he suddenly have the power to join a massive attack on a necromancer who can summon armies with a snap of his fingers on his home turf? I’d argue that at least part of her reason for not looking at him and focusing her attention on WWX was to keep herself from accidentally letting those feelings slip and letting JC know she died angry at him. Because JYL loves her brothers, and if the best she can do for JC was keep him from realising she’s dying furious at him, then that’s what she’ll do.

Also to a certain extent there’s an interesting... parallel, I suppose you could call it? To the fall of Lotus Pier. Both YZY and JFM focused on JC exclusively (and JYL in CQL) while only so much as acknowledging WWX’s presence enough to tell him to protect their children, and WWX accepts it. Out of universe I’ve seen very little discussing how he must have felt at being an afterthought at best, only remembered because he was powerful enough to protect their children, especially since he’s been told multiple times that their deaths are all his fault. And then here we see JYL lying in JC’s arms and not asking anything of him, just focusing on ensuring that WWX won’t blame himself to the best of her abilities, and it still sucks but at least she’s in his arms, holding on to him at least at first. I don’t know, it just seems weird to me. I’m not trying to suggest that it wouldn’t suck for JC; I can understand him feeling horrible about the fact that JYL wouldn’t even look at him. I’m just saying it’s interesting that this is the��“dying (or soon to be dying) person speaks to one brother but not the other” situation that large chunks of the fanbase seem to be fixating on. Also, I do feel the need to point out that JC is going to spend the next decade and a half blaming WWX for JYL’s death, even after she spends her last breaths reassuring him and telling him it’s not his fault, so like. he’s fully ignoring his sister’s wishes on the whole blaming WWX front. Gotta be honest, it makes it a little hard to feel sorry for him in this scene.

[heavymetalchemist]

Who’s ready for a barely-edited unhinged somewhat drunken rant to my friends about Jiang Cheng?

ME: okay so here is why jiang cheng is THE BEST and I will fite anyone who doesn't like him. first off when we first meet him he is obviously supposed to be a dick, like I didn't like him at first either, I was like "what the fuck is this guy's problem" but O MY FRIENDS do we ever find out what his problem is.

here we have this guy who we see is very talented, very strong, cares a lot about doing A Good Job and his appearance. oh yes Jiang Cheng cares so much about his reputation and this is portrayed as kind of a weakness/flaw, which isn't totally inaccurate. But WHY is he like this?? Because his parents suck essentially

like the whole part where he's like "my dad doesn't like me because he doesn't like my mom" is super telling because do we ever see in the show any affection shown to jc from his parents? basically like twice: the one time his mom hugs him and he's like O_O omg mom is hugging me???? this has never happened what do???? which, oh no baby

and then when he is having his golden core transplant and we see the flashback to when he was a CHILD. like the one time with his brother and sister and parents and they are happy and smiling and calling for him to join and he sees his little child self running... and then TEARS OF BLOOD OH NO

so basically like, his dad sucks for being strict with him and not really fathering him at all, his mom is basically straight up abusive. he never gets shown affection by ANYONE except for Yanli and Wei Ying. So obviously those are his two primary relationships.

but the thing is he wants that parental approval SO BAD. that's why he has all this pressure to be like, the perfect clan leader's son, the perfect young cultivator, etc etc. Literally any flaw will be pounced on by his mom or just ignored by his dad. Like he's just trying to get his dad to acknowledge him and his mom to maybe not yell at him?

meanwhile wwx is just dicking around and being contrary and like, jc wants that. It's why he's always with him. It's why he's there with the Party Room at the cloud recesses having the alcohol with huiasang, it's why he's always by wwx's side, and it's why he makes that comment, when have I ever dodged a punishment with you?

like he's incredibly fiercely loyal to wwx because even though he has this inferiority thing, especially since his dad really IS kinder and more affectionate to wwx, wwx is the one person he can depend on

like yanli is obviously an emotional support to both of them and basically a surrogate mother, but she's not anywhere near their level of cultivation and he's like, obviously we must protect her. like what can she really do to protect either of them? so they both take it upon themselves to protect her

like I don't know how much you saw of the anime or whatever R but in that one/the novel the scene where Jin Zixuan disses her is way harsher

R: :gasp:

ME: and jc wants to punch him and wwx shoves him out of the way precisely because he knows that he, wwx, can be the unruly child and fuck up

R: I haven't watched past the first episode of the anime yet, and in the show it's ?????

ME: so he is protecting jc because jc would END that guy for attacking his sister

oh yeah they want to fucking kick his ass

R: But wow, yeah in the novel it's really clear that wwx is like 'I got him'

ME: like wwx is literally protecting jc because he knows that would cause all sorts of interclan drama. I mean he also wants to fuck the guy up too but the thing is that wwx always trusts jc to do the right thing. out on the night hunt with the wen clan when they have no swords and he goes to help lan zhan? he's like, I gotta it's the right thing, and jc is all like, you gotta worry about yourself? like wwx just goes off because he knows that jc will be fine on his own. he trusts his strength

we see it later in the cave with the slaughter xanwu (sp) where jc is the one who goes swimming and finds the exit and leads people out, and he's like desperately trying to get wwx out and is all I WILL COME BACK FOR YOU

but wwx is like, nah jc will definitely get us help. it's only a matter of time. NO DOUBT. AT ALL

MARLOWE: WALKED TO YUNMENG AND BACK

NO REST

NO CREDIT

ME: and jc is basically constantly like I love you but you keep getting into these situations, and you don't understand that I would fucking die for you. because what would I do without you???

because like he's one of the only two people who shows that he loves jc. and of course jc doesn't know how to like, express love back, because his parents are awful, and it's constantly about looking good. any flaw is pounced on. so he hides it behind this aloof sardonic demeanor, and we see it later when he's constantly like, I'll break your legs to jin ling, and then jin ling is like, pft he's never even touched me

because it's that kind of just, I care about you so much and I don't know how to say it because I have been taught that openly expressing emotion is weakness and I have to shut the fuck up

so instead he hides everything behind this whole *scoffs* face. but you constantly see that he is totally loyal to wwx. he's so worried when he starts getting haunted. he doesn't understand why wwx, who always supported him, who SWORE that he would be his main disciple and main supporter, who would be the lan zhan to his lan xichen, is suddenly not carrying his sword and acting weird? and he's like, I have basically no power, our whole clan got murdered, I'm coasting on the lasting goodwill and good name of the jiang clan and doing my best, and you always had my back even with your sass and... suddenly you're cold to me? he disappears for three months

THREE MONTHS

HE IS SO WORRIED

he's looking everywhere along with lan zhan

they FIND HIM

he's obviously super haunted

but then jc HUGS HIM

which is this huge, like, he actually initiates physical contact

he breaks that aloofness because he is so happy and relieved

and wwx DOES NOT HUG BACK

LIKE

MY HEART BREAK

R: oh noooooh jesus

ME: so then the whole thing with the wen clan but like

R: :cries tears: oh no

ME: he's all okay so I betray you, and jc is like, but, you swore you'd be my guy. and at first it's like they are still in touch though right

R: yah like on the down low

ME: like, I can't protect you from other clans, so wwx is like okay we will say I left so that way the jiang clan doesn't get blamed for this. so wwx is still protecting jc

R: nrghg in the show that line is the worst I was just ack yes

ME: but jc doesn't really have the power to do anything to help him except support him secretly. like the whole thing where yanli is gonna have a baby and it was jc's idea to have wwx give him the courtesy name, but he doesn't want to admit it because again he just. can't. express emotion. because like imagine him trying to have an emotion at his parents. SHUT DOWN. so he's still just struggling to express anything to anyone really and this is another one of those gestures that he loves wwx. but then the super haunting happens right, and wen ning kills Jin Zixuan, and jc is like

YOU SAID YOU HAD IT UNDER CONTROL

and it's because he TRUSTED him totally, because wwx is his brother and loves him! but he has just hurt the one other person he loves, yanli

R: He's trying so hard to just keep a hold of him just a little oh my god

and he's always been this like...gosh flawed but also flawless?

ME: and he doesn't know what to do because the thing is he's always had faith in wwx's skills, he never would have thought that he would lie to him or betray him but now it's like, fucking haunted. murders the husband. then shows up and yanli gets killed. and yeah yanli dies actually protecting wwx but the thing is jc is like

YOU HAD

ONE JOB

PROTECT YANLI

because that's what they did as brothers. because that was like, their mom, you know???? like their affection mom??? so jc has lost his sister and also his brother, and has NO ONE

R: the one who actually made them food and gave them hugs T_T

ME: and of course he like, loses his shit and is like GO TO HELL because, his entire world has crumbled

R: yes T_T yes T_T of course

ME: he had two people to count on and one is dead and the other betrayed him by causing the other to die, by not having his back like he SWORE, and this is basically the only person who ever demonstrated that he was loved at all. if he doesn't have that what does he even have?

but like, IMMEDIATE regret

we hear about the constant hunting for his body, trying to summon his soul, the single minded dedication to finding him, because what's killing him is of course he regrets his part in wwx's death, but also - why? why did his brother, who he trusted more than anyone, who trusted HIM, who always believed in HIS skills, and HIS dedication, unlike his parents, who he was never good enough for, why did he betray him? like.... you know he's basically sitting there: was it something I did? was I not good enough for you?

you see it with the jealousy with lan zhan. you discarded me for the amazing hanguan jun? WHY AM I NEVER GOOD ENOUGH

and so he's obsessed with trying to get that closure. he Has To Know. and at the end he finally gets an answer. all the weird behavior, the haunting, not having the sword, going everywhere with wen ning as bodyguard - because wwx made the ultimate sacrifice for him - he gave him his golden core. and like, how could... how could anything ever compare to that

like he's crushed because that all happened because he gave himself up to save wwx, and got his core crushed, and was tortured, but he had to save his brother! THE ONLY FAMILY HE HAD LEFT. THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVED HIM. not to discount Yanli but... not the same. just not the same

so he's been sitting there this whole time going: I got my core crushed for you, I was tortured for you, I almost lost cultivation forever for you, and you threw me under the fucking bus, and then he finds out that no, he was good enough the whole time. like, what could wwx possibly give lan zhan that would ever top that, honestly? it's the ultimate affirmation that his relationship with jc WAS important and DID matter and he DID love him. and then he finally gets his apology for how wwx doesn't have his back and just, TEARS FOREVER

CRIES IN FRONT OF EVERYONE

FUCK ALL Y'ALL I AM GONNA HAVE AN EMOTION

and then does he tell wwx about how he got his core crushed? no. because it doesn't matter now. because all that matters is that he knows that wwx loved him. and for once, it's not a competition. he finally knows it's really, truly mutual

and even though there's all these years of bitterness and misunderstanding, like, suddenly he can look back and have the feeling of "he really never stopped loving me" and suddenly he's not so totally alone any more

R: Oh. *OH* I wondered why he didn't tell him.

ME: and NOW all I want is for him to give Jin Ling a goddamn hug

yeah if he told him... it would feel like that one-upmanship again. and I think that jc has finally realized he's good enough. and he doesn't need to do that

R: :flaps hands::flaps hands: it makes sense

ahh

that was the missing piece for me

oh gosh ahh

ME: GROWTH

R: growth!!!!!

ME: but yeah like, jc was literally just sitting there like, what the fuck, I would have died for you, I almost DID fucking die for you, and you turn around and won't wear a sword to support me so that we look like a strong united front with these other clan leaders?and yes, meng yao was right - he should have stood up for wwx and been like "yeah whatever he can do what he wants" instead of acting doubtful. but of course he was doubtful. does wwx even ever touch him after he comes back totally haunted? like definitely not in the same way. I'd have to go back and see

but he's sitting there like, I don't understand! and he can't express himself, and wwx doesn't help because EVERYTHING IS A FUCKING JOKE. WHEN IS HE SERIOUS. WHEN IS HE FUCKING SERIOUS

so jc is like... has it been a joke the whole time? have I been a joke to you the whole time? and that's the catharsis at the end - nope. not a joke. it was real. it was really, really real. you were right to love him and to trust him. all this bad shit, it's not like wwx is innocent, but it WASN'T him. he gets his apology, but more importantly he gets the affirmation that he's really loved and deserving and good enough. and that's like, what he needs the most

he's "parenting" jin ling this way because it's what his parents did to him and he became a good cultivator, so, like, yeah, but also because he wants everyone to know that jin ling is Good Enough, and this is the best way he knows how

SO

THOSE ARE SOME OF MY THOUGHTS

HOPE YOU ENJOYED

MARLOWE: So many feels T_T

Hug all these boys

R: oh gosh your thoughts are wonderful that moment at the end and he's just like 'ah' gnrghghg T_T

ME: RIGHT

like he just looks after wwx and lz, and thinks back, and has a little smile because like, no it was worth it

imagine how much that must have haunted him. like, "I got my core crushed for you! and you betrayed me! I should have let them take you!" but feeling SO TORN because how could he NOT protect his brother? and finally being able to feel okay with that decision for real

R: ahhh

:clutches heart:

MARLOWE: On the way home he spontaneously hugs Jin Ling

Who thinks he’s being strangled or murdered

ME: O_O

WUT IS HOPPEN

IS FINALLY TIME OF BREAKING LEGS X_X

MARLOWE: YES EXACTLY

Jin Ling’s spirit leaves his body

ME: yes

R: ahahaha just a little ghost right out his mouth

ME: then jc is all like

lets him go with a shove and scoffs

pft

let's go

stop standing there with your face like that

MARLOWE: T_T uncle

R: ahaha oh no

ME: but yes also jc cares like so so much and is just constantly doin his best

like yeah he's competitive and a perfectionist but also the jiang clan got wiped the fuck out and in "present" timeline it's still one of the four most powerful clans!he did that!he's harsh and arrogant but skilled and fiercely loyal and obviously cares about making sure that the jiang clan's reputation is as impeccable as possible and you can see how loyal its members are to him. like all these disciples aren't from nowhere. they all had to come in y'know? because so many were murdered by wen fucking chao. and as strict and harsh as he is like, I can just see him being an extremely dedicated teacher, doing his best to make every cultivator in his sect as good as possible

unlike certain assholes who may have totally deserved death by gangbang

MARLOWE: what

ME: what?

MARLOWE: that took a sudden turn

ME: jin guanshan or whatever is a douche fuck that guy

if we're talking clan leaders

just saying

R: XD

MARLOWE: OHHHH

ok i'm back on board all is clear

ME: did you forget

about

death by gangbang

because it's a Real Plot Point

R: OH

THAT GUY

OH MY GOD

MARLOWE: I JUST WANSN'T EXPECTING 'DEATH BY GANGBANG' AS A SUDDEN TURN IN YOUR DEBATE POINT

R: :cackling:

MARLOWE: passionate and thoughtful defense of jiang cheng's virtues as a sect leader

unlike some people and their death by gangbang

[guiltycorp]

Really because of the focus on wangxian romantic happy ending, it might not be immediately obvious how much of a tragedy the whole story is, but look at them?

Wei Wuxian never had an official family, always unsure of his place by the Yunmeng siblings side and his goals in first life were all about becoming a powerful cultivator, helping the weak, paying back the Jiang Sect, and remaining by Jiang Cheng’s side; he had to give up his Golden Core to pay back the sect & help Jiang Cheng, and so he could no longer be a traditional cultivator, and so he became somewhat of a liability to the sect; the only purpose left to him was helping the weak and that ended with... all Wen refugees slaughtered! Except for Wen Ning the undead corpse (tortured and mind-controlled for longer than a decade) and Wen Yuan, whose life was saved by Lan Wangji. In his second life, Wei Wuxian was so aimless that the initial goal to amass a new undead army was easily forgotten in lieu of going on a nice detective night hunt and after Jin Guangyao’s fall he turned all his attention to his new husband and continued night hunting with intervals of staying at the Cloud Recesses (a very hostile place to somebody like wwx let’s be honest). And in the drama no husband for him either! Or at least not at first -- either way he’s given up and goes with the flow, all his youthful dreams and loyalties ruined in one way or another. At least he does have Lan Wangji and the juniors to dote on.

Oh but what about that poor Lan Wangji? He had the worst time starting with his childhood when his loving mother straight-up died from melancholy, his father sequestered himself away and his uncle drilled him into becoming the perfect status-quo upholding puppet. At least Xichen obviously gained some external influences which might explain why Lan Wangji didn’t grow up to be a complete self-hating zealot -- it was already quite hard for him when Wei Wuxian acted as if he had seen through the upright facade or at least tried to get LWJ to shed it somewhat (side note: judging by the first chapters in-universe gayness was at best tolerated in Gusu Lan, but not on the same level as heterosexual love, and in the drama we get Xue Yang’s comments to wwx, also a bit ambiguous). All that trust in rules led to Lan Wangji's false belief that things with Wei Wuxian and the Wens he harbored would work out, because surely the main sects would maintain neutrality? Yet, the 50-something refugees were still massacred and the righteous Lan sect was on the side of the killers (probably blowed his mind a bit right there) and when Lan Wangji finally made the decision to take a stand and protect at least Wei Wuxian, his uncle and brother led 33 elders to their hiding place. Say what you will, but it’s unlikely that Lan Wangji was the one to land the first hit, as he was sitting down with a delirious wwx passing him spiritual energy. The Gusu Lan elders attacked their best disciple (and a warhero!) in order to finish off an injured criminal who had no direct grievances against the Lan sect. All while his brother and uncle stood by. And even then he was so faithful to the sect’s principles that he left Wei Wuxian alone after being told to do so and returned for his almost-deadly punishment, signed off on by his older brother the sect leader. And then Wei Wuxian died, because come on, why would you leave him alone when he was like that?? Of course he died! It’s quite regrettable that we weren’t given Wangji’s perspective on the Gusu Lan sect’s actions, but at the very least it’s obvious that he couldn’t leave since he needed them to take care of A-Yuan. Quite a situation: imagine lying bed-ridden for 3 years, relying on the mercy of your sect to both heal the sect-inflicted injuries and to take care of a child, the only remaining Wen too. No wonder he spent the remaining 13/16 years ‘going where the chaos is’, I wouldn’t want to spend much time home either! While Lan Yuan grows up to be quite healthy and Lan Wangji does get his necromancer sweetheart back, he either gets to love his husband but do nothing about the status quo (novel) or actually work to change and improve the cultivation world but without a husband by his side (drama).

I’m not even touching Jiang Cheng or Nie Huaisang, I mean come on. Mianmian probably has the best life out of all characters.