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leafwateraddict · 2 months

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Huge trigger warning for openly talking about wanting to commit suicide

Pretty much summed up some old feelings I used to have towards sans and Undertale as a whole? I’ve gotten better since, but it definitely feels nice to get them out.

Transcript in case you cant read my handwriting:

I’m going to do it. I will. I cant stand to live anymore.

Do you even have any idea how?

No clue. But it has to be done.

What do you think waits for us..?

Fire. We deserve it.

Fair.

There are things we will lose.

Of course.

These little characters… this little world this mind cannot seem to let go of…

You Must Purge It.

We Must Purge it.

In Order To Die

We Must Detach Ourse-

whoa-! calm down kid… not gonna hurt ya…

You.

the one and only.

I am too attached to you.

If I can finally remove you…

kid-

You stupid stupid anchor-

kid stop- you know you dont want that.

i do! More than anything! If I think about one thing more than you, it’s death! I… I need this to end sans. This game is the only thing that makes me get out of bed. I’m too dependent on this.

It doesn’t even matter does it? I’m too much of a coward to go through with it…

you’re not a coward for being scared of ending your life kiddo.

I can’t do this anymore.

…i know

#vent #vent warning #vent post #personal vent #suicidal ideation #choking #tw choking #religious trauma #I guess?#that is what all this stemmed from after all #i still feel pretty guilty for the only thing anchoring me to this world being a video game (or more specifically a character from one)#instead of something like family or friends #or religion i guess #but i think im learning to live with it #different people find different reasons to keep going #i dont think that reason really matters as long as you keep going in the end #sans #leafs art

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lotus-pear · 11 months

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yeah sure therapy is nice but teen soukoku is faster and a lot cheaper

#LITERALLY STILL IN SHAMBLES OVER 109 THIS IS HOW IM COPING #thinking abt how much harder teen skk hits bc that's when chuuya started using corruption and they had to learn to trust each other #like with their lives.#not ''hey dazai i'm lending you five bucks so you can get me a coke from the vending machine i trust you'll give me the change''#although i'm sure that's happened and dazai runs off with the change despite being explicitly told not to bc he's an ass #anyway despite not having mutual understanding or even sympathy for the other person they entrusted their lives to each other #also the fact that chuuya isn't likely human but so desperately wants to be and dazai is the tether to his humanity #likewise how dazai was so traumatized to the point where he couldn't feel human #but meeting chuuya made him think living was worth a shot #the parallels are paralleling #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #soukoku #skk #lotus draws

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 11 months

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im a simple guy! i think about puppy Barnaby. i promptly explode into bloody heart-shaped confetti

#just a little guy learning to be tall... hard work #now if yall will excuse me im gonna shove my head into boiling water #that oughta fix me #pls enjoy the additional scribbles of his Attempts #they were too important in my mind not to include #godddddd i love himmmmmmm just a little guyyyyyy #i gotta puzzle out how to draw ms beagle #ive never drawn a chicken! much less a chicken puppet!#wait no sorry that was a fucking lie #i have drawn like. 2 chickens previously In My Life. i think... i could be wrong!#ive never claimed to have a working or reliable memory <3 #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #barnaby b beagle #hes just so small and sweet and immmmmm IMMMMMMM #unwell. simply unwell yes yes #there's no saving me! leave me for the vultures! allow me to live up to my url!#puppy barnaby already makes me feel as though my ribcage has been cracked open #might as well let the scavengers have a Taste. im sure im delicious!

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vampireposter · 5 months

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meeting wyll at the grove, as someone who the tieflings trust enough to train their children, says so much about him. it's so sad that he doesn't get explored in acts 2-3 as deeply as the other companions, when his problems are equally intense. the average player probably long rests once before coming across the grove, but even if not, in that time wyll has already proven to the tieflings that they can rely on the Blade of Frontiers.

this is the immediate first thing he chooses to do after being condemned to slow death via ceremorphosis. his priority list in the first conversations with tav is: 1) hunt down a dangerous devil, 2) help zevlor with the goblins, 3) once nothing threatens the tieflings he will gladly search for a tadpole cure. wyll is perpetually his own last priority, and i wonder if it has to do with the lore about souls.

if he believes mind flayers' souls have been destroyed, and fiend warlocks will all have their souls sent to the hells after death, then becoming a mind flayer isn't the worst possible way for him to die. he would never become a mindless monster to save his own soul, but he's not gripped by horror the way that some of the other origin characters are. lae'zel has been made revoltingly impure to her people, astarion is terrified of losing the scrap of bodily autonomy he just regained, gale is guilt-ridden over the orb detonation if he dies, shadowheart has to survive to prove herself to her cult leader, and karlach has also just regained bodily autonomy and is desparate to live.

this is just another quest for the Blade, whose persona guards wyll ravengard against the vice of self-concern when he ought to be concerned for those in need.

#wyll ravengard #bg3 #writing a wyll pov thing in order to roleplay harder in my durge playthrough & ive become obsessed w him #i love him so much. he doesnt even really get to realize in-game how traumatized he is and in act 3 he has not healed any really #come here wyll we are going to learn about self care. you & durge need to overcome the desire to give up your lives for your fathers ideals #faerun doesnt have LMHCs so wyll gets my durge who currently thinks he is (a miserable failure of) a cleric of ilmater.#this fic is practice for my 'ascended tavastarion struggle to quit being Like That' character study thing wherein i am struggling w dialogu #loving working on both. im in my little dollhouse making my toys try out lines until they fit #vampireposted

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dogzoro · 1 year

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#my art #one piece #cryptid luffy lives in my mind he truly does. i couldnt capture his essence but. ill get there.#a lot of things im not happy about w this one but im trying to learn not to care about that and to just hit post!!!!!!!#luffy #trafalgar law #i think luffy is not only the captain but also the weird pet

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damconcha · 5 months

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One of my favorite things about the ASL Brothers is the fact that Ace was the one brought out the sake and proposed becoming brothers.

Not Luffy or Sabo but Ace.

Ace, who believes he is unlovable, Ace who believes that his blood is dirty, Ace who believes that he didn’t deserve to be born, Ace who thinks that his life is worthless, Ace who believes that his mere existence is a crime.

And yet Ace saw these two boys and approached them without apprehension or fear of rejection even though he was proposing something as irrevocable, something as bonding as brotherhood

#not to mention ace had these thoughts bc this is how the WORLD sees him #that world put these thoughts into his head and made him believe that #but sabo and luffy only see him. not gol d. or even portgas d. but just ace.#the way ace knew that they wanted this just as much as he did #like he is theirs and they are his and he knew that #i remember learning that ace proposed it and being *so surprised*#cause we had just seen that ace had no self worth and hated himself #but he knew that they accepted him and that they wanted him in their lives #and he decided to make it permanent #they are his family. they are his safe place. they love him unconditionally.#DO YOU GUYS GET WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY #goddd these brothers make me so ill #it’s 2am so if this doesn’t make sense that’s why #i am thinking so many thoughts #i’ll probably delete this later #portgas d. ace #asl brothers #one piece #concha speaks #asl rambles #concha posts

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linkedin-offficial · 6 months

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kitty colony au anybody?

#dont mind me just channeling my inner warrior cats fan #i tried so hard to make the patterning and colors realistic but still recognizable . btw #im not really a genetics nerd but i try Sometimes #yes ragatha and jax are siblings #half siblings to be exact (jax's father is a lynx while ragatha's is not)#first time ive ever drawn a monkey too! truly a learning experience #anyway i wouldnt nessesarily call this warrior cats? but it can be in the same universe. maybe #i wont tag it as warrior cats since they dont live by the same ideals obviously #theyr just kitties :3 #and yes caine is a runaway circus monkey. howd you guess #i like to think im smart #the amazing digital circus #tadc au #tadc pomni #tadc ragatha #tadc jax #tadc gangle #tadc caine #tadc bubble #tadc zooble #tadc kinger #the gangs all here :3 #theres no rime or reason for this au to exist i just wanted to take a stab at drawing them all as cats #so take this how you will #tadc colony of cats au

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snekdood · 5 months

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"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.

#i dont think you realize how repelling you and your politics are to everyone else #you get all of your validation for how Smart You Are from your friends and ignore any kind of feedback that suggests you should #change or do something differently. thats the only reason you're so convinced average people will go along with you bc you keep getting #affirmation from the people who ALREADY agree with you- but you have NO IDEA how to bridge the gap between people who agree #with you and disagree with you. you're horrible at convincing people of your side of things outside of straight up guilt tripping them #or bullying them like a highschooler. im sorry but the tools you learned to survive with as a kid aren't gonna help you in this situation.#the ONLY THING you can come up with to bridge that gap is a bloody revolution. thats how bad you are at this.#and you're also so bad at this and unimaginative that you dont even realize how THAT might not even be enough.#you cant imagine ANY kind of avenue to getting people to change AT ALL outside of blood and fire. and thats why people call you #an authoritarian.#i'll be honest- i really do think the world would be a better place if we did incremental change under a democratic president who wont #set the world on fire vs the godkingemperor republican WHO WONT EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AT ALL EVER AND MIGHT KILL YOU #FOR PUTTING UP A STINK. idk if you noticed but if that evil fuck gets into office we are severely outnumbered if he gets police #n shit to go after his own citizens. letting trump win is making this battle so much harder than it needs to be.#you are choosing trying to fix the world while its exploding vs trying to fix it before it explodes at all.#what is this like a procrastination thing? you wanna wait till the last minute to try? idfgi. wtf is wrong with you #throwing minority lives away to prove a point. and then you try to tell me you care. gtfoh.#accelerationists should never be taken seriously.

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horrorknife · 2 months

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babe, this wouldn't be the first time it will not be the last time there's no parasol that could shelter this weather

#chainshipping #saw #adam faulkner stanheight #lawrence gordon #saw 2004 #saw franchise #saw movie #song is oil and water by incubus #'chainshipping is a healthy relationship' EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER #post bathroom theywould be the most dysfunctional and horrible couple and i think thats awesome and sexy of them.#adam is spiteful and angry and lawrence is obstinate and bitchy. they live in two extremely different worlds #i just wish more ppl would willingly explore the wildly antagonistic nature of their relationship bc its intoxicating to me #to me they are like insanely possessive of each other but they have these idealized versions of one another that dont fully live up to the #person in their head #they are riddled with problems and issues but at the root of it all they care for each other and understand each other in a way no one else #ever will #so they cling to each other and learn to love each other and learn to grow together. but it takes a long time #and akgdmfglf i have such a Specific Vision for apprentice adam in my head like . most of my chainshipping ideas involve apprentice adam bc #i just love the concept too much #anyway apprentice chainshipping goes absolutely crazy. you should try it sometime #if youve read all these tags im kissing you with tongue.#my art

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stuckinapril · 3 months

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The whole “be responsible not for other people’s feelings but to them” distinction is so so true… at some point you need to realize that other people’s insecurities really are their responsibility & dimming or contorting yourself to make them feel better helps neither you nor them. Firstly, bc they need to realize what they’re doing and grow up. And secondly, bc you’re not just compromising on a one-time thing. You’re comprising on who you are as a person. I don’t want to look back when I’m older and stay stuck wishing I held my ground despite people’s projections or asserted my presence more or didn’t apologize so much for who I am. I really just want to own everything (the good and bad) & continue doing what makes me happy

#This is something to bring up to the therapist for sure bc im not perfect on this yet #and i think that’s also another thing im learning to be less hard on myself for — just realizing im 21 and that having insecurities or weak #Spots still is literally okay. Making mistakes is okay. I beat myself up for this too much #I am not a horrible person for being young & learning how to live & no one will make me feel otherwise #This goes in the other direction too in the sense that I need to stop being apologetic of my accomplishments for fear of #Triggering other people’s insecurities. That is not and nor will it ever be my responsibility #I’m always going to be graceful w other people’s emotions but I’m no longer going to overcompensate bc it helps no one #And is not a marker of love for me to do so

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parasitoidism · 16 days

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SMTIV English Artbook Scans

Today, I was able to finish scanning my entire English SMTIV art book! This book is weirdly hard to find so I'm glad I was able to do this, and I hope that everyone enjoys being able to read the official translation of this incredible art book!

#smtiv #smt iv #shin megami tensei iv #smt4 #smt #shin megami tensei #senshi voice 'TIS FINISHED #takes a deep bow and then falls over because my back hurts from crouching over my scanner for like 3 hours today #anyways theres so much cool stuff in here in terms of commentary like there is so much text in here #comments on like every single thing #also this entire like 2.5 page interview with masayuki doi and eiji ishida #also peep the little goddess of tokyo easter egg on the very first and last pages #im already a serial tag yapper but i just want to say that i really really hope that you guys get something out of this because it makes me #very happy to think that someone might get to learn something new or cool or interesting from these that is my one and only wish #also bc that took me a really long time and my printer lives on the floor. ow. my bones #myscans

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lokioftheloch · 1 month

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RULES OF BEING OTHERKIN #1

Being authentic and true to yourself is the only way you are 'supposed to be/act like' (insert entity). If anyone else disagrees it only tells you about them.