#i still feel pretty guilty for the only thing anchoring me to this world being a video game (or more specifically a character from one)

[leafwateraddict]

Huge trigger warning for openly talking about wanting to commit suicide

Pretty much summed up some old feelings I used to have towards sans and Undertale as a whole? I’ve gotten better since, but it definitely feels nice to get them out.

Transcript in case you cant read my handwriting:

I’m going to do it. I will. I cant stand to live anymore.

Do you even have any idea how?

No clue. But it has to be done.

What do you think waits for us..?

Fire. We deserve it.

Fair.

There are things we will lose.

Of course.

These little characters… this little world this mind cannot seem to let go of…

You Must Purge It.

We Must Purge it.

In Order To Die

We Must Detach Ourse-

whoa-! calm down kid… not gonna hurt ya…

You.

the one and only.

I am too attached to you.

If I can finally remove you…

kid-

You stupid stupid anchor-

kid stop- you know you dont want that.

i do! More than anything! If I think about one thing more than you, it’s death! I… I need this to end sans. This game is the only thing that makes me get out of bed. I’m too dependent on this.

It doesn’t even matter does it? I’m too much of a coward to go through with it…

you’re not a coward for being scared of ending your life kiddo.

I can’t do this anymore.

…i know

[cerise-grenadine]

Hello!

For the Snapedom AU Ask game, can I get your answers to 1, 2, 5, 6, 9, and 26?

1.) Do you have a name and/or a tag and/or a master post for your AU (so I can peruse your blog and admire your creativity)?

2.) What is the premise of your AU (one sentence summary, tropes, your big “What-if” question, etc.!)?

5.) What are the major divergence points in your AU?

6.) Is there any part of the canon narrative you really like to build off of or interrogate with your AU?

9.) How and why does your AU!Snape differ from the canon!Snape?

26.) Does Severus have any major interests (mycology, astronomy, sci-fi, baking elaborate puff pastries, art forgery, etc.) in your AU that we never got to see canon!Snape indulge in?  Do these interests play a major narrative role?

i'm sorry, if you ask me about my AU, i will infodump 😔🙏🏻

1.) Do you have a name and/or a tag and/or a master post for your AU (so I can peruse your blog and admire your creativity)?

Yes! SlythenclawAU!Snape. it's quite meh but i never really took the time to think of one.

2.) What is the premise of your AU (one sentence summary, tropes, your big “What-if” question, etc.!)?

A long time ago there was a teenager in boarding school who got tired of waiting for the 5th Harry Potter book and decided to make a Snape-centered sequel herself (it's not particularly focused on anything but the ✨ fluffy romance 💖).

5.) What are the major divergence points in your AU?

Honestly, it’s easier to point out the parts in common 😅 It’s only canon-compliant up to Goblet of Fire (with some parts of OOTP included now), meaning Severus was pretty much a blank canvas. We knew he was a smart skinny bastard who disliked the Marauders and was about to resume his job as a DE spy, that was it. As a result, his background is completey different. He has a different family, a different childhood (still terrible), different motivations, different traumas, and Lily was never even a thing.

6.) Is there any part of the canon narrative you really like to build off of or interrogate with your AU?

Not so much one part in particular, but there are themes I like to think about (I won’t say write, I haven’t written a thing in years). Everything that has to do with guilt and forgiveness is interesting to explore with Severus, because he’s both a victim and a culprit: how to forgive, should one forgive, how to make amends, isn’t asking for forgiveness selfish and placing the weight of the pardon on the victim, how to live with guilt when some things can’t be forgiven... In the same vein I like to explore his guilt towards Lucius, who is a genuine friend and a genuine Death Eater; he feels guilty for betraying his friend, and feels guilty for still considering the man a friend.

9.) How and why does your AU!Snape differ from the canon!Snape?

I think the major difference (apart from no Lily) is that he’s more adjusted as an adult. It’s not necessarily visible to the Hogwarts staff or students 😬 the teeth incident or his breakdown at the end of POA are still a thing and the British wizarding world really brings out the worst in him. But he actually has a solid support network in the form of siblings and adoptive parents he met when he was 21. They live abroad and he keeps them secret to avoid DE retaliation so they don’t meet often, but still they are very supportive and it has helped him a lot sorting things out during his late twenties/early thirties. Having this one anchor, being loved and loving them back, has really done him a lot of good and he strives to better himself (at least in private). By the time his love interest appears, some things have healed enough that it’s not her job to fix him, she merely becomes yet another support to help deal with the rest (and the first one in the Brit WW). Don’t worry, he still has nightmares, and tons of guilt, and petty tantrums, but overall he’s in a better place than canon!Snape and has hope for the future. Also I don’t usually include Occlumency/Legilimency. Ho and he’s very French (sorry not sorry)

26.) Does Severus have any major interests (mycology, astronomy, sci-fi, baking elaborate puff pastries, art forgery, etc.) in your AU that we never got to see canon!Snape indulge in?  Do these interests play a major narrative role?

Yes! he’s a huge nerd (the kind who solves equations for fun when he can’t sleep), so he likes to study a lot of things.

Apart from normal magic things, he’s very knowledgeable about human anatomy and medecine, it makes him a better brewer and practitioner of healing magic (also his brother studied Muggle medecine for a while + his brother’s adoptive father was a heart surgeon). He is also an exellent cook (who doesn't eat much), because what’s the difference between Wolfsbane and mayonnaise, you just put stuff in a big saucepan and stirr dutifully it’s the same thing really.

Both those skills are pretty much background stuff; but there is one big hobby that is very important in his life, for several reasons: playing the piano 🙌🏻✨

He is very attached to it because his mother taught him (and she died young) and it’s his one pastime and antidepressant. He will focus on fast-paced pieces when his anxieties keep him awake, will hammer away his anger when he’s had a row with someone... it helps him calm down and clear his mind, and sometimes he will learn complicated parts just for the fun of it simply because he enjoys himself. He is a selfish pianist however. Music is very private to him, he is not a performer and will only do it sometimes for very close people he loves. He owns two pianos, his mother's grand piano at home (which has been through some stuff and is his most prized possession), and a baby grand at Hogwarts gifted by his siblings when he started teaching (it was needed for his mental health and the not-murdering of students). He’s learned how to tune his piano the Muggle way (the only true way, it sounds better, and yes of course he’s pedantic about it) and can talk about the links between mathematics and music for hours. Also +30 years of piano training have given him an acute sense of rhythm and very precise motricity skills that are highly valuable in potions work.

His lover being a musician herself (of the performer kind), music is very important in their relationship and has been central in their getting together. In fact, she first kissed him as they were playing together, so his sister jokes he would never have gotten laid if not for the piano she gifted him (she’s right)(his entourage also jokes sometimes about the kind of fingering skills a pianist with decades of experience has)(he hates it)(because he’s a giant prude)(they’re also right)

[portentiial]

ok i get obsessive and then when it fades away i’m okay again. i’m not sure how much i should be going through that. i know i wasn’t treating him with enough empathy. i don’t know how much of his words are his and how much aren’t. i’ve learned that i shouldn’t take what he says to heart when he’s splitting, but when he comes back after the split and apologizes but still manages to reiterate my worst fears and i ask him to clarify if that’s how he actually feels and i get completely ignored and silent and mad and ready to cry because i feel completely used for someone who sees me as nothing but an anchor. i still don’t know if that’s true. i want to help him grow. i do. i really really do. he gets defensive if you even acknowledge his bpd might be affecting the way he acts, but it’s a hallmark of who he is. and he is so so so self aware. but i think him realizing it WHILE he’s doing it and his brain attributing some of his words and actions to BPD makes him feel gross and crazy and paranoid and guilty and i understand that. he shouldn’t. he’s experiencing normal emotions, the scale is just making him act differently than what i’m used to. things that might seem strange to me make sense when i reflect on them more. but the. the dropping me as a step to his own progress makes sense and i see why he would feel like that when i’m a constant source of bad feelings for him. i’m trying less not to take that personally. but it doesn’t feel like any progress. it’s him abandoning me. which i’ve been scared about since DAY ONE. which is something he’s been threatening to do to me since we first met. i’m not sure how going back to that is progress. maybe it is if he follows through with it. but it just kind of hurts right now. how is him forcing himself into solitude progress. he doesn’t deserve that. he deserves someone who knows him. who understands him and wants to listen and go through things and is present for him. he deserves someone who makes him feel good about himself!!’ he’s not crazy, and i think he’s pretty wonderful as a person and he deserves to know that. sometimes he acts a bit unfairly. and he’s definitely impulsive and rash. but you would be too if you went from like… euphoria to rage at the drop of a hat. and anxiety is never light it’s only paralyzing fear. it just like. astounds me that through all that this wonderful person came to me. i know that person is completely real. i see all of these posts about BPD and how people found out the person they were interacting with was just mirroring them… sorry but you can’t FAKE being funny…. you can’t MIRROR all of the knowledge he already has… the stuff that interests him is stuff that was always boring to me but to hear him talk about it. his viewpoint is so unique and he seems so genuine and the way he LIGHTS UP is so so real and his ideas and the worlds that he builds are something that i will always want to be apart of. i will always want to hold fucking round tables discussing the merits of a specific actor in a specific film. and i WILL always want to do more stuff with him. all the time, i think ‘it would be nice if michael were here. he would like this.’ but i’m only comfortable with him being a very low effort casual friend in that regard. when i keep in mind and am really really interactive with his bpd, nothing he does can hurt me. it’s just kind of hard because he’s not always exhibiting it very much. when he does something that DOES hurt me it’s almost always a symptom of his BPD but my emotions really have a hard time sussing that out. i keep in mind his emotions are unregulated, but i also have a hard time realizing that a lot of the guilt and self hatred he has over HAVING bpd is just as much a reason for his words and actions as his actual symptoms are.

[sugarybitterness]

monster - natasha romanoff x werewolf!reader

request; Hello 🙂 Can I request Natasha x warewolfF!Reader. Instead of the whole Bruce and Natasha it's R and her. It can be angst fluff 🥺?

word count; 1,506

warnings; mentions of violence, mentions of red room, mentions of forced sterilisation

a/n; i’m so sorry this took so long.. but i do hope you guys enjoy this, my heart aches for nat everytime i watch that scene in aou and i just wish i could hold her in my arms and comfort her:-( tasha deserves the world. feedback is always appreciated <3!

you curled in on yourself, body trembling lightly under the blanket clint had draped around your shoulders.

you and banner were supposed to stay back, to avoid a code green and code grey. but the brunette got into both of your heads. before you knew it, you were shot down by tony before he flew off to neutralise the hulk.

you don’t remember what you did, but you knew it couldn’t have been pretty. your eyes swept across the jet, everyone seemed pretty shaken up. your gaze lingered on the redhead assassin opposite you. her emerald green orbs flickered up to meet yours and you simply shut your eyes.

you had been doing so good at managing it, your wolf counterpart rarely had the chance to overtake you like they did today. but the things the enhanced had put in your head made the wolf in you angrily protective. not just of you, but also of a certain team member that you saw drop dead in your mind.

you felt like a monster all over again.

the soft patter of feet made you alert of your surroundings once more, the familiar warmth of a certain russian appeared next to you, close but not close enough to touch you.

you waited a minute or so before you shuffled a little closer, holding a breath to see her reaction. when she didn’t move away, you inched closer before stopping once more, in case she changed her mind. this went on for a while longer, up until you were nestled in natasha’s lap, her arms tightly wrapped around you.

a part of you felt guilty that despite the obvious trauma she just went through, she was still making the effort to comfort you. unbeknownst to you, your mere presence was grounded natasha, allowing her to slowly wake up from the nightmares of her past. you were the only person who could anchor her, similarly to how she was the only person that could calm you.

after what felt like hours, the jet touched down on a familiar farm. you slowly climbed off natasha’s lap, your arm snaking around her waist to help support her as the group of you followed clint to the large house that you swore looked like the ones on the front page of those magazines you always saw clint reading.

after introductions were made, you found yourself being led to the bathroom in what you knew was clint and laura’s room. as you were about to step into the shower, a light knock from the door caught your attention.

“got room for one more?” natasha asked, head titled to the side as she analysed you. the two of you had showered together before, it was a common occurrence when hiding in safe houses with limited hot water while waiting for pickup. it was a routine that brought a semblance of comfort and you often found yourself having heart-to-hearts to with the ex-assassin while cleaning each other up. you nodded your head in agreement, a large part of you craving for that feeling only she could bring about.

the two of you were quick to step out of your mission gear and soon you were massaging shampoo into natasha’s scalp, making sure to get rid of all the dust and grime. there was a comfortable silence between the two of you and you relished in it knowing that soon you’d had to break this bubble and head back into reality.

“the enhanced,” natasha’s voice broke the quiet and you were quick to shoo away your thoughts so you could focus on her words. “she brought me back to my past, to the red room.”

your quiet intake of breath did not go unnoticed by natasha. silence settled over the two of you again, as you washed the shampoo out of natasha’s hair. grabbing the conditioner nearby, you gently worked it into her red locks as you started to talk.

“she made me relive my turning night. it was the same as my nightmares at first other than the fact it felt so real. up until i saw the face of the person i killed.” you took in a shuddering breath and natasha was quick to turn around to face you, her hand going to cup your cheek.

“usually, i would never be able to put a face to the person because my memory of that night stops right before i see their face. but today it showed me you.” you let out a soft whimper at the end of your sentence, the mere idea of you hurting natasha made your heart clench. “then it just showed.. you getting hurt and me not being able to do anything.i tried to fight back, i really did but she just kept projecting these thoughts into my head until i just.. snapped.”

tears were falling now, and you barely registered the feeling of natasha wrapping you in her arms. her hands rubbed up and down your back as she soothed you softly.

“i’m a monster..” you whispered out into her neck, hands clenched into fists at your sides.

after a couple minutes of natasha calming you down, your tears had stopped and your breathing was regulated. stepping back from you, natasha brushed away your remaining tears before turning off the shower. doing her hair was always the last part of the shower routine. you stood there quietly as she grabbed towels for you two, you could practically see her thinking and so you waited for her to speak first. after wrapping the both of you up in towels, she reaches for your hands.

“the red room.. there’s a graduation ceremony every girl must go through before becoming a widow. they.. they sterilize you.” your eyes widened slightly when you realised that the maximoff girl had sent natasha back to that moment with her magic. natsha continued staring at your joined hands, not wanting to meet your eyes. “it’s efficient, one less thing to worry about. the one thing that might matter more than a mission. makes everything easier, even killing.”

she finally looked up at you, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “you still think you're the only monster on the team?”

“you are not a monster natasha.” you stated firmly, frowning when natasha shook her head at your statement.

“i was raised to kill. i was designed to be nothing more than just a trained killer, they did everything in their power to make me the perfect weapon. how does that not make me a monster?” natasha argued, a stray tear rolled down her cheek.

“because you’re more than a trained killer.” you replied, pulling a hand from her grasp to wipe away her tears. “everyday you make the choice to be good, to be better than you were before. it’s not always easy to make that choice, to keep fighting the way you do. you are so much more than your past tasha, it does not define you the way you think it does.”

“does the same not apply for you then?” natasha challenged, raising an eyebrow in defiance. you laugh softly and shrug. natasha shakes her head and continues. “seriously though, you aren’t a monster either.”

“i basically ‘hulked out’ in my wolf form today, i could’ve done a lot of damage to innocent people.” you pointed out, your thumb absentmindedly rubbing against natasha’s cheek.

“but this is the first time it happened in a long time. you’ve gotten better at controlling your wolf instincts and you said it yourself, you were fighting against the magic. plus, tony mentioned that when he got to the jet, bruce was long gone but you were in the beginning stages of after your transformation.” natasha reasoned, her now free hand wrapping around your waist as she looks up at you. you sighed softly, knowing that natasha did have a fair point.

“how about this, we both got dealt shitty cards in life but we’re working on being better.. so that means neither of us are monsters?” you offered, lips curling into a smile as natasha’s melodious laughter fills the bathroom. the redhead nods at your words, gazing at you softly.

you notice natasha’s eyes flickering between your eyes and lips. leaning forward, you catch her lips in a soft kiss. soon, air became an issue, so you leaned your forehead against hers.

“i’m sorry it took so long to tell you about my past milaya.” natasha apologised softly, but you were quick to hush her.

“i know it’s not easy to talk about it so thank you for sharing it with me. but remember, there is nothing you can say or do to change the fact that i love you. so so much.” you whisper against her lips, giving her another soft kiss.

“marry me?” natasha teased and you smile, thinking about the engagement rings you both had left back at the compound, not wanting to face the team’s questions.

“i would marry you in every lifetime.” you promised.

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ n.r taglist: @zombies1ayea @marvelwomen-simp @natashaswifey

[dear-yandere]

& just drown with me.

yandere! beidou x reader. general headcanons. tw: kidnapping, implied dubcon. disclaimer: this is not a healthy relationship.

art belongs to jay ash (pixiv).

“come out, come out to the sea, my love and just drown with me...”

beidou is...

reverent, delusional, honest, lenient (RDHL) + doting, protective, clingy

— reverent is she the moment she sets eyes on you, her heart skips a beat. she doesn’t mince words or skirt along bushes; she’s enamored the moment she sees you, and she ensures that you’re well aware of her attraction. you’re quick to pick up that she is terribly handsy—and perhaps a little touch-starved—especially when it comes to you. her hands are on you at all times, sometimes friendly, sometimes on the cusp of something more.

she wants to hold you close and never let go, she knows that much. you’re just so frail, so easy to break if the slightest wind were to brush your sides a little too harshly. in contrast, she’s strong beyond compare, able to best sea beasts and part mountains with only her sword; and yet, gentleness is not lost on her. she takes extra care in handling you, beyond scared that you’ll break apart between her fingers if she’s the slightest bit too rough.

and letting go quickly becomes difficult.

she likes feeling your skin against hers. your hand entangled with hers, your fingers delicate and unused to combat; she is forever fascinated by the soft swell of your palm, the way your hand looks as if it can hardly hold itself against the world. your skin is devoid of callouses and tears unlike her own which carries the sword as big as her stature. your hair’s disheveled and knotty, and your clothes carelessly strewn across the floor. she likes you best this way; completely without covers, so that she may take you in to your fullest, so that she may hold all of you within her grasp and never let go. her fingers are always wrapped around your waist, lips pressing kisses onto your head.

you are a treasure beyond compare. 

— her thinking, you soon come to learn, lies upon the border of delusion, and yet her eyes hold an assurity when they look at you. you’re never allowed off her ship unsupervised. the decision was quick and painless, her voice doubtless and her intentions clear as the sea. she wants to flaunt you by her side, as she enjoys the way your body will grow warm with embarrassment when she walks into town with a pretty little thing by her side. pirates are known for their nonchalant approach to life, so for the great captain of the crux to show up in public with anything—or anyone—by her side apart from her trusty claymore is a curious sight. captain beidou isn’t known for her ability to settle in one place or with one person; the sea’s always been her true calling, after all. but to see her fingers gently settle on your shoulder as she pulls you close, the smirk on her reddened lips will quickly twist into a full-blown grin as the crowd she’s drawn erupts into cheers.

you know better than to make a scene in front of these people—people who look up to captain beidou, people who wouldn’t take you seriously if you explained the way she keeps you captive on her ship. you’re nothing more than a victim, you’ll say to them, and they’ll only laugh you off with a wave of their hand, certain this whole charade is some roundabout way for beidou to entertain herself. the sea must drive a man delirious, after all. no one can fault her.

and for that reason, no one can believe your pleads.

beidou is a free spirit enamored by the call of adventure, and yet her actions are anything but.

— dishonesty is something beidou hasn’t the time nor patience for. her words hold no lie when directed at anyone, but especially when directed at you. she couldn’t dream of lying to you—and she has, unfortunately. the moment she woke up from that terrible dream was the moment she shook you awake to apologize profusely, even if the language was colored with her own vulgar vernacular. yes... she apologized for a futile little lie she told in a dream.

dishonesty simply isn’t on the table.

she goes to great lengths to explain her day to you, taking the utmost care to not leave the slightest detail out. the main reason being her guilty conscience, really. there’s not much to do cooped up on a musty ship cabin—even if her quarters are decked out to the nines just for your liking. you weren’t keen on the idea at first, feeling more like a child being told stories before bedtime, rather than a fellow sailor and her beloved first mate. but her eyes will light up all the same, and she’ll tell you of her day and the new things she’s seen as if you were right there with her. you quickly learn to nod along and acknowledge her every so often, as the only alternative is to mope around in her cabin or on the deck—the few times she’ll let you accompany her out there. there’s only so many thoughts to think by yourself, and at some point, you grow to look forward to these fantastical stories every night.

— she doesn’t know fear—freedoms are yours for the choosing if you’re brave enough to set your sights on them. lenient and all too unfussed by the chance you’ll make it any further than the twenty feet from her person at all times, she’s well aware you won’t make it rather far. you wouldn’t call it much in the way of “freedom” really—and you start to envy the citizens of the ever-free mondstadt a few regions over. all freedoms are your for the taking; that is, all freedoms except a dismissal from her side. it’s where any good luck charm belongs, she’ll laugh and plant a wet kiss atop your lips. her good luck charm... she doesn’t need luck—not with strength rivaling a god’s—and yet she refuses to go anywhere without you close behind. 

it’s no surprise that her crew had once joked that you follow her around like a lost seadog—unaware that you do so per her directions—only for the poor lads to regret ever having said anything. their captain’s eyes are dark when she pipes up behind them.

“haven’t you got better jobs to do than mess with my lass?” she jeers, that usual smirk not quite reaching her eyes. from your position behind the crew—the men now all lined up in terror before the captain of the crux—even you start to break into sweat. it’s clear from her tone that she’s irritated, and the fact she’s clutching onto her claymore as if its the anchor on her anger scares even you. 

they were poking fun at you only moments ago, and now you can’t help but feel sorry for them.

“i’ll let you off the hook ‘cause you’re my dear brothers.“ despite her clemency, her expression tightens and not one man dares to let his tense muscles relax. “but i’ll only say this once, lads.” she explains, stepping down from the raised deck to saunter over to your side. all eyes turn to you two, a pair they’ve grown used to seeing day in and day out. beidou slings her arm around your shoulders, the curves of her body pressing into yours perfectly. “this here is my first mate; a jab at them is no better than a jab at me. the next time i hear a jab at them, i’ll do far worse than have you swimming with the fishes.”

— she loves drinking with you by her side, even if you can’t hold liquor down to save your life. her cheeks are quick to flush shades of pinks and reds, and you can never stop yourself from staring in awe, even when she slings an arm around your waist and pulls you close. her lips catch yours as if they belong there, a puzzle piece filled by its other half. her kisses are a hazy fire, fiercely warm and dangerously untamed; they always taste like strong beer, the beverage steeped in various spices that sit nicely on her lips.

you only wish she wouldn’t do so in public. her boisterous laughter and charisma draws the attention of the tavern-goers, most of whom know better than to interrupt beidou when she’s chugging down jugs of alcohol. her crew doesn’t mind the sight, nor do they mind your presence at the table—though, it’s not like they have much of a choice in protesting; although they don’t fully recognize you as a bonafide crew member of the alcor, it’s clear that captain beidou has something of a sweet spot for you.

still, they feel like they’re witnessing something they shouldn’t when she captures your lips with hers, her fingers drunkenly playing with the thin strap keeping your outfit intact. 

— captain beidou carries her heart on her sleeves and her riches in each hand. riches and spoils are fully within your grasp at all times, sometimes to the point of annoyance when she insists on adorning you with a piece of jewelry she picked up at port. ‘it reminded me of you, s’all,’ she’ll laugh sheepishly, already unclasping the necklace to set it around your neck. ‘wear it and think of me, yea?’

it’s an order more than a romantic sentiment; you have no choice but to think of her at all times.

it’s only when you learn of her past that you come to understand her near-obsession with providing you with the best of the best. from the moment she opened her eyes as a newborn, her life had been mired by misfortune, as if the gods themselves were curious how long she’d survive a life of ordeals. as confident as she is now, you would’ve never guess that beneath the surface, she is forever humbled by her past. having grown up in a family with little money and even less to eat, she was to pick up on the way of thieves, learning the schedules and habits of merchants at the local market so that she could swoop in to steal fruits and veggies from their unattended stands.

“don’t worry about it too much, lass; me telling you such stories is merely for your amusement,” she’ll laugh as she explains this to you, sparing you the grisly details of starvation and malaise. she doesn’t tell you how her skin would cling to her ribs for years on end, hanging from her skeleton as if life had given up on it. she’s been on hard times for most of her life, and yet the only side you ever see is the one blessed by fortune and power.

“life and i have never gotten along, so i had to climb my way up in this world.” her tone is cheerful; you see right through it. “my life’s been tough, i’ll admit that much, but i have no intention of making you live through that too.” 

— as much as she tries to run from it, she cannot outsail truth. as much as she’d prefer to keep you on her ship—where she can keep an eye on you, where you’re always free to join her in her quest for adventure and thrill—she’s aware that all things must come to an end; even the sea has an edge and an end.

this is just one of them.

 “hey... if you really don’t want to be here, i won’t stop you. it’s your choice, and whatever you decide is set in stone. i can’t change that no matter how hard i try, but... could you do me a favor?... just, could you at least give me a chance? 

i don’t like overstepping my boundaries where i’m not needed, but this is all i’ll ask of you. think long and hard about your decision. what you decide is up to you—and if you’re set on the idea, i’ll let you leave, no repercussions. sound like a deal?”

bonus.

— she isn’t herself at night. gone is the boisterous laughter that could raise the hair on a man’s arms. gone is the domineering aura she carries like a shield, its front aimed at a world that tries to hold her down. she craves adventure, but the moment night falls and she pulls you into the cot with her, she’s out like a light. the only time you manage to catch yourself every day is when she’s by your side rather than the other way around, her person quiet and gently breathing the sea-stained air.

the ship creaks, and you can hear it clear as night now that the crew is snuggled into their cabins and warm cots, and now that their even-louder captain has fallen asleep. you can finally hear your own thoughts. you have much to think about, having been spirited away to “adventure” against your will... and yet you only think of her.

you turn on your side and settle your weary eyes on your lover. her features are no longer sharp, no longer laden with the responsibility of power and might. nestled between a lavish blanket and the warmth of your body, she is no longer a paragon of otherwordly strength; she’s just human. this is just another side of the captain, just another beidou intended only for your eyes.

and it’s in these quiet moments that you realize you’re in love.

dear-yandere, all rights reserved.

[suchalonelysunflower]

Hold you to it (h.s)

Pairing: Harry Styles X Fem!Reader

Requested: Yes!

Summary: Harry’s home for a mini break and you plan to take advantage of his time.

Warnings: SMUT. Oral (female reciving) Face sitting. Mentions of masturbation. Language. Some grammar mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 2.2 k

Author’s Note: Hey! I’m back with another Harry piece! I’m still new to writing smut and I really hope you like it. Reblogs, feedback, comments and likes are more than welcome and encouraged ❤️ hope you like it and Happy Reading ✨🦋🌻

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

Picture found on Pinterest

Anon: can you do a fic like perks(calum hood), but instead its with Harry and its his facial hair instead of thighs?

You were so thankful for Olivia Wilde.

That was the only thought running through your head as you rested your back against the kitchen counter, sipping on your coffee as you watched your boyfriend play with different strumming patterns on his guitar in the living room.

Harry has always been a morning person, you knew you’d die before you see the day where he slept in more than you on a weekend. His bright smile always lit up the room, just like the sun itself when it sets through the window curtains of your shared bedroom. And today was no different.

After weeks of filming away from home, Olivia sent everyone home for a mini holiday before resuming filming the last shots of Don’t Worry Darling. And you couldn't be more grateful for that.

Harry took that opportunity to the max, planning to stay home for as long as it was physically possible. He felt incredibly guilty for leaving you alone all of these past months, even if you reassured him that you understood why he had to do it and that he had your complete support. But he was dead set on making it up to you, and so he did.

The first day came and went as you spent it tangled in the sheets, only getting out of bed when you really needed to, but never going too far to miss each other's warmth, catching up to all the things you missed, all the kisses you couldn't give and all the moments just being by his side.

The second day was not much different and neither was the third or fourth. All of your moments were spent together and you wouldn't have it any other way. You would never admit it to yourself, but you were secretly glad that Harry was as clingy as you.

It was almost like a drug, the love you had for each other. It was too much but at the same time it never seemed like enough. You would give the world to each other if it were possible, but you knew that your world was made as long as you were together.

You were addicted to him in every possible way. You knew his secrets and he knew yours. He knew just where to touch you, to kiss you, to love you, and you knew just how to make him feel like the king of the world as long as you were his queen. He showered you in delicate details that knew would make you happy, going from something simple as to make you coffee in the morning, to giving you the most expensive lingerie for you to show it off only to him. For him, you were his rock, his anchor to earth when the world became too much, sometimes even feeling like you were the only real thing he had and he would be an idiot not to appreciate you, to love you like you deserve.

Yet, sometimes you wonder if you could love him better, if you could ever be enough to deserve his kind of love. You knew if he could hear your thoughts right now, he would make all of those insecure thoughts go away with just a simple kiss. It was so easy to love him, so much so that you believe you’d never really love till him.

And, as you watch his fingers move against the strings, you know you will never love someone as much as him.

You held your mug closer to your chest, smiling as you recognized the melody he was playing. He knew your favorite songs by heart and he proudly sang them to you whenever you were around. This simple detail let you know that he was aware of your presence, even when his back was facing you. So you didn’t waste anymore time as you went up to him and sat beside him on the sofa.

“How’d you know that I was awake?” You asked, resting your head in the palm of your hand as you laid your elbow on the couch.

Harry just smiled without looking at you and without stopping his strumming “I always know it’s you” He said, his voice husky as it was still early “Hard to ignore your stare, my love”

You took another sip of your coffee, trying to hide the red that stained your cheeks at the sound of the pet name. Even after all this time you still get butterflies when he called you sweet names.

You concentrated all your attention on watching him as he played his guitar with such skill. You smiled as you watched how his curls started growing again, he had to cut his hair on a retro style for the movie and he always had to keep it neat and proper, but today it was just flying around everywhere with no direction, some of them even falling on his forehead on a perfect little curl that just made him seem angelical. You watched as his hands moved along the strings, his long fingers pressing the right chords as his strumming never stopped. You always loved his hands, his delicate touch igniting fires in you everytime he wandered your body like it was a finest piece of art and he was the sculptor.

Soon, your thoughts went deeper as you remembered the way those same fingers left their mark at the sides of your body, holding you tighter and closer to him as he fucked you roughly through the night. Touching every part of you that needed to be touched as he made you reach your climax over and over again.

You were so deep into your own mind as memories of the night before came flooding in, making you close your legs a little harder in order to feel some kind of friction that could ease your ache, that you didn’t notice that the song had stopped and that those beautiful green eyes you love so much were staring at you now.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked with a smirk, almost like he could read your dirty thoughts with just a look into your eyes.

You placed your mug on the coffee table, scooting closer to him at the same time he put his guitar to the side and rested his arm over your shoulders. You laid your head into his shoulders, lifting your gaze to meet his “Kiss me”

Harry needn’t to be told twice cause in the second you finished your sentence his hand was already flying to your cheek to pull you closer to him and capturing his lips with yours.

You were completely intoxicated on his lips, on the way they moved in sync with yours and the way that his tongue took control almost immediately, allowing him to deepen the kiss till you saw nothing but stars behind your eyes. Soon, his other hand moved to your back, pulling you on top of him so you were straddling his hardening cock.

“Feel what you’re doing to me, baby” He said with a groan after you started grinding his growing over his sweatpants.

“Harry..” You moaned as his lips moved from your mouth, to your jaw and to your neck, tracing the marks he already left and leaving new ones for you to see later. You loved the way he claimed you with every kiss, every bite. But you especially loved the way his scruffy beard was burning your skin with every move he made, making you crave that sensation over your whole body and more “I missed this”

Harry chuckled lightly, his hands going from your ass cheeks to under his shirt that you were wearing, grabbing your sides and making you grind ever harder against him, spreading your arousal all over him “If I remember correctly, we were in the same position a few hours ago, love”

“No,” You whined “I missed this” You grabbed his face softly, your fingers running over his cheeks and his scruffy beard and mustache “I’m so glad you are not filming anymore”

Whenever he had to be on set, Harry had to maintain his face clean as a baby in order to stay in character. You had complained a lot about it since you always love his facial hair, that month where he left his moustache growing was still one of your highlights of the year. And Harry was well aware of how much you like it, so for this break he let it grow all over again, knowing how much fun you’ll have with it.

He smirked like the devil before pressing his lips to your ear and whispering “If you missed it so much then why don’t you ride it?”

A cold shiver ran down your spine as he said those words, feeling your arousal grow with every moment passed “Harry..”

“Be a good girl for me, Y/N” He said, lifting your shirt and throwing it somewhere around the room. His hands immediately flew to your chest, massaging your nipples “You want to be a good girl for me, don’t ya darling?”

“Y-yes!” Was all you managed to say before Harry laid on the couch and pulled you on top of him. He waited for you to take off your drenched panties as he positioned himself on his back.

You put your hands at the sides of his face, lowering your head for one last kiss as Harry’s hand slapped your ass in order to get you to stop.

“I need to taste that little pretty pussy of yours” He said before pecking a kiss to your lips and giving you another slap on your ass.

Your legs were shaking with anticipation as you placed your center over Harry’s mouth, almost cumming right there and there when you heard him moan at the sight of your naked pussy.

“You are soaked, my love” He said, kissing the inside of your thighs “All of this for me?”

You could practically hear the smirk in his voice, but right now you didn’t give a damn “For you, Harry” You moaned, feeling his breath over your center “All for you, always”

“Hmm, good” Harry said before grabbing you by the sides of your hip and pulling you into him by surprise.

You let out a loud moan when his tongue lapped at your entrance, licking every single spot before moving to your aching clit. He started kissing your bundle of nerves, biting it lightly before he started sucking you clean.

“Oh my god” You said, hand flying to Harry’s head and tugging hard on his curls as he moved his face between your thighs, creating that burning sensation with his beard that you know you’d feel for days to come.

Harry started licking you up and down, holding on to your hips and moving them as he deemed fit, stopping at your clit every few movements to tease you as much as he could. He could die happy between your legs, savoring every part of you like you were his last meal on death row. He absolutely adored the way you tugged on his hair, making him moan as he felt you shiver above him with all your little dirty sounds going straight to his hard cock. It might be the little narcissist in him, but he relished in the fact that he was the only one who could make you come undone using only his mouth.

He knew you were close without even having to look at you. Your moans became louder and louder and your tug on his hair was almost painful. He loved that.

“You’re close, baby?” He asked in between your legs.

“S-so close, Harry. Baby. So close” You whimpered.

Suddenly, Harry’s movements stopped as his hands let go of your hips. Making you let out a desperate cry.

“Earn it”

That was all he had to say before you started grinding yourself onto his mouth. Your hips moved at a fast pace as you were selfishly chasing your orgasm.

Harry felt like he was in heaven as he felt you fuck yourself with his mouth, letting him taste every part of you as he gladly ate you out. Moaning inside of you with every hard tug you have to his hair.

You were drunk on him, completely intoxicated as you moved yourself against his mouth, not caring about the sounds that were coming out of your mouth or the way that you could hear how Harry was touching himself as he pleasured you. All of that only adding to your imminent orgasm.

“Harry- B-baby I’m cumming” You pant, moving faster and faster as you could feel the burn inside your thighs “Oh-I’m cumming!” You practically screamed as you felt yourself let go on top of him.

You felt Harry’s hand come and hold you in place by your sides, his tongue fucking you through your climax and licking every single drop of cum you had to offer.

A few moments later, you found yourself on top of Harry, tasting yourself in his tongue as he kissed you deeply “You okay?” He asked once he pulled away and saw your pleasure filled eyes.

“You love me too much” You said, smiling as he turned you over so he could be on top.

Harry chuckled as he lowered his head to kiss you again, this time a little rougher than before “I promise I can show you just how much more I can love you”

You moaned as you felt him grind his cock over your sensitive pussy, coating it with your juices as he was almost ready to push it inside of you.

“I’ll hold you to it”

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @multistann @tenaciousperfectionunknown @talksoprettyjjx @mystic-232

[bored-storyteller]

Thank you dear Anon for asking me Uta ☺️! I hope this can be okay. I always tend to aim for angst/comfort (instinctively I always look for the happy ending), but if you want angst really don't have a problem forcing me :3. That said, I hope I didn't disappoint you!🌸 (And sorry but it was natural for me to be a human reader, I only noticed at the end, scold me even if you want 😣)

57-Tokyo Ghoul, Uta x human!Reader (angst/comfort)

From the prompt list

4- “Do you know what it's like?”

Uta in truth cannot say that he is surprised at what is happening, he cannot deny the veil of resignation that had enveloped his heart when it all began.

In a way he still hoped he was living a dream, that what he had been waiting for hadn't really come true. He really hoped that everything would be okay with you, despite his fears. Somehow, despite his finding that the image of a peaceful life with you was just a utopia, he clung to the idea that you were able to perform the miracle. He has never felt so loved as by you, he has never questioned your love for him.

Yet now that he was standing in front of you with tears in your eyes desperately waiting for some answer, he wondered how you had actually fallen in love with him.

He's not just angry with you, he's mad, and hurt. Yet he still loves you, he really does, and for this reason that rational part of his person still clings to that affection so as not to allow it to scare you further.

"You have to calm down." He tells you in a firm voice. His body doesn't move, only his fists clench along his hips.

“Calm down ?! You have… ”Your voice is high, broken, desperate. You've never raised your voice against him before.

Yeah, he has what? He obviously did something that - in your opinion - he shouldn't have done, he had taken a life that he shouldn't have taken.

Innocent. You used that word, but he didn't understand what it meant, he just couldn't really hear you. He stopped doing it when he realized he was the problem you were crying about.

He must have hurt someone you knew, even though he wasn't sure how close he could be to you - he's pretty sure you stay away from doves. In any case, something has upset you. It's possible, he's been dealing with a lot of trouble lately, but whatever the reason for your tears ... they're useless.

Whatever happened, crying for someone he killed is absolutely useless.

You've never done this before, so did lives have a different value to you?

Was that life worth more to you than all the others he had devoured?

"Were they more important than me?"

Uta wanted to ask a question, but instead the realization led him to flatten the questioning tone into a cold statement.

He doesn't give up his gaze for a second in front of your wide eyes. He suddenly manages to get silence from you, and that scares him. It scares him to death.

You are dumb, dumb like the masks that surround you. When you speak, it is as if you light a fuse inside him: "How can you ask me such a thing?"

And the world ends for him.

His place in the world that he thought he had found was suddenly erased. You are like others, you think like others. You don't care about his situation, he's the culprit. You love him as long as he hides his being from you.

"Do you know what it's like?" A tremor in his voice. A tremor that you have never heard, and then what he had never done: "Do you know what it is like to be a ghoul in your world ?! Do you have any idea what people like me have to endure ?! "

Uta never raises his voice, never. Nor with you. Yet this time he has no way to stop the beast from roaring, and somehow he expects you to quiet down, to take his words to heart, to share his suffering, as you always do. Instead you don't leave a second of silence between you and him.

"And do you know what it is like to be a human ?!" You slam those words in his face like a slap, and for a moment he can't react, and he doesn't understand if the pain he feels is caused by his physical body or his troubled mind.

"The world must understand you, but you have never tried to understand the world!" Your hand tightens on your chest "It is you who can kill me here! It is you who can eat me! You are not the victim between us!"

"Are you the victim?" Uta's usually gentle voice echoes deep in his chest like an earthquake, and this time you can't deal with it. It is as if you are on the edge of an abyss, and you take a step back, hoping to avoid falling, but he is not of the same opinion.

"You are right."

He is no longer screaming, but that doesn't reassure you. Not at all. Not if he's smiling like that.

Where can you ever run away as he approaches you.

What do you want from him? Do you want the predator to regret having hunted? Do you want to condemn him to hell for this?

“Maybe I should have done it right away. I should have eaten your tender heart since I met it. " It would have been with him without so many problems.

"GO AWAY!"

The scream you throw is so desperate that it almost seems to have stuck in his heart.

Your hands are on his chest, where they often are, but this time they are trying to push him away with such weak force compared to his, yet so terrible for him.

You are in his arms, where you should be whenever you suffer, but they are no refuge for you now, and his hands are gripping your arms so tightly that he can imagine the bruises beneath them.

The devilish smile falls apart. He hadn't even realized that he had lost control of his emotions. This should never have happened, not with you.

"I-"

"Leave me."

He obeys your desperate sigh.

The tattooed hands fall to his sides and all he hears are your silent sobs as you curl up in a corner for protection.

Was he really that terrible? What have your eyes seen? Your delicate human eyes.

"Come on ... it's over ..." Uta's voice is warm again, calm, reassuring, as he is always with you. Instinctively his hand reaches out in search of your skin, as he always does when you feel bad. He moves to be on your level, to take you in his arms, yet again the crystal dream breaks. You break it again, when without even realizing you move away from his grasp, trying to escape his presence.

Uta remains there, motionless, to contemplate his work. To contemplate the fact that he is not enough.

And now the difference between the two of you was as heavy as a volcano's lava on both of you, because you are no longer in a fight with Uta, you are in a position of danger in front of a ghoul.

He's right, you don't know what it's like to be a ghoul. And you are right, he does not know what it is like to be human, to be you.

All he really knows is that his instincts tell him he has to take care of you, because you are afraid, you need protection, because he wants to see you happy, yet he is trapped in his place because it is he who hurts you, it is him the threat.

Uta closes his eyes slowly. He knows himself, he needs to calm down, to calm his heart which is beating fast and afraid. But he can't. He can't untangle the painful tangle inside him that is blocking his breath. It looks like a bomb, water that grows and prepares to overflow.

And then something moves, and his eyes go wide.

It's not something he's ever experienced before, but he's self-conscious enough to take precautions.

The faster pace than usual as he moves away from you is not enough to attract your attention, but the violent opening of the bathroom door does.

Uta's stomach never gave any problems, absolutely never. Yet now he finds himself bent over painfully emptying its contents. It's a horrible, almost upsetting feeling for him.

It seems that the human makes fun of him even when they are dead, bending the monster and leaving him exhausted by the efforts, moving him away from you, as if to want to protect you.

How did you get to that point? How can he go back?

You were his refuge, his anchor, his certainty, he wants you back. Yet for those like him, taking care of something seems impossible. His own body led him to crouch away, like a ground worm.

Your soft and uncertain steps stop when you reach the threshold that he didn't bother to close in his haste, your light and inviting scent penetrates his lungs and he still feels your breath trembling with tears.

Even in that situation Uta seems to be fully in control of himself, calm, only his head that leans towards his lap manifests an implicit attempt to silence the pain.

His fist lifts to lean against the toilet to flush out what you never want to see, because even though the harshness of reality has crushed on you, he still protects you.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry." He's really sorry, and he'd eat his own tongue if it kept those words from you.

He can't say that he really feels guilty about what he did, but that he is sorry to hurt you and scare you, that is.

You do not answer him, nothing comes from your lips, and inside Uta fears he will never hear your voice again. But you don't go away.

In the following moments you too are curled up on the floor behind him, rubbing your cheek against his back for comfort, looking for the reassurance of his heart, tired from those frantic beats that he is not used to sustain.

Your weight on him is sweet, and maybe you two just hit a bottom that you needed to touch, in order to be strong again, for yourself.

And if doubts still linger between you, your whispered words give Uta the answer he thought he could never get again: "I still love you."

[glassesandswords]

Rate: Jean x Mikasa, Reiner x Bertholdt, Levi x Eren, Levi x Mikasa, Kenny x Uri

Oof, okay, there's a lot to unload there.

Disclaimer: These ratings are my personal, biased opinions, and are purely for entertainment purposes. 1. Jeankasa: To be very honest, I like this ship better than Eremika. I think it makes a lot of sense. Jean always had a crush on Mikasa and was jealous of Eren but he had never even once let it affect their teamwork. He had also saved Mikasa and kept a look out for her safety many times. I think they grew closer post time-skip and Mikasa eventually warmed up to him. After the events in the manga, I can't think of anyone better than Jean for Mikasa to grow old with. After all, he knows exactly what she has been through. The only thing this ship lacks is more canon evidence that Mikasa cared about Jean, although personally, I believe she did. Favourite moment: "No, it's not okay. Tell me how he hurt her." (season 4) Canon rating: 8/10 AU rating: 9/10 2. ReiBert: Good ship. I really cannot think of a time when the two of them haven't been together or were thinking of each other until season 4. I have a feeling that Bert did not get enough closure like the way that JeanMarco did. This is the best ship I can think of for both of these characters. Their introvert-extrovert chemistry is unmatched. Reiner kept pushing the shy Berty forward, urged him to take initiative, and gave him the boost of confidence that he needed all the time. Bert acted as Reiner's anchor, pulling him back from his split-personality disorder and being extremely understanding of his trauma. Bert was the only one who was kind and gentle to Reiner throughout. I love the chemistry they have together and I just wish that Reiner thought more about him in season 4, especially during the final arc. Favorite moment: When Bert let go of the opportunity to blow everyone up during the Shiganshina arc, choosing instead to go check on Reiner after seeing his head blown off by the Thunder Spears. Canon rating: 9.5/10 AU rating: 10/10 3. Ereri: I will be looking at their chemistry from a dad-son perspective than a romantic one. Eren used to admire Levi a lot, and I think he still did even at the end of the manga. When Levi first kicked the hell out of Eren, I was scandalized, but it soon became apparent as to how much he cared about him. Since the whole series was just Eren getting kidnapped and Levi trying to save him, and then Eren trying to destroy the world and Levi trying to stop him, they were separated for more time than they were together in the canonical events. Levi himself admitted that he had looked at Eren as the 'hope of humanity' and was crushed to know that Eren betrayed them in the end. I think Levi might have understood why Eren did what he did without Eren having to explain himself to him, but I don't think he would ever forgive him for doing that. Favourite moment: "Eren, I'm sorry for doing this again to you, but choose what you want to do." (in the Reiss Chapel during Season 3) Canon Rating: 4/10 AU rating: 7/10 4. Rivamika: Another ship I'll be looking at from a rather platonic perspective. Levi and Mikasa have always seemed very similar to me. They have the same sense of strong loyalty, but the two of them started on a very rocky relationship at first due to Levi's stunt at the courtroom. Mikasa is the only person from the 104th who did not put Levi in a pedestal and was not afraid to call him out for not protecting Eren in the Forest of the Giant Trees. I like how Levi still risked his life to save Mikasa, breaking his ankle in the process and how and how Mikasa felt guilty and responsible for putting Levi out of action during the entirety of Season 2. She slowly grew to respect him and obey his orders instead of holding grudges and it was satisfying to see their trust build up as the series progressed. However, they barely had any interactions apart from giving and taking orders after season three. Favourite moment: "You distract her, I'll cut her up." (female titan fight) Canon rating: 4/10 AU rating: 6/10 5. KenUri: This is a ship I really don't think of much, but now that I am thinking of it, it is pretty solid. It is

usually the same story with all the Ackermans- they are in their lowest point in their lives, then they meet someone who changes their perception of the entire world, and they get really attached to that person. What I really like about this ship is that it does not diminish Kenny's personality in any way and Kenny still pursues his own ambitions after his death. Kenny wanted to get the chance to look at the world the same way that Uri did. Uri's values and perception of peace intrigued him enough to consider that way of living, even if he couldn't imagine it no matter how much he tried to. Still, he had a huge amount of respect for him and thought about him during his last minutes. Uri gave Kenny something worthy enough to be drunk on. It is a very subtle ship, but one that made a huge impact on the story. Kenny's words to Levi reflecting on his life affected Levi's major decisions later in the story as well. Favourite moment: Uri bowing to Kenny to ask for forgiveness for the Ackerman prosecution. Canon Rating: 7.5/10 AU rating: 8.5/10

[darthkruge]

Could you do an imagine where Anakin comforts an insecure reader

Anakin Skywalker x Reader ~ Insecurities 

Summary: Anakin comes home to find the reader drowning in their own insecurities and does everything he can to make it better.

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: Heavy talk of insecurities, including the reader feeling insecure about their body, personality, relationship, basically themself in general. A little bit of blood and some injuries but nothing major. Angst to fluff, I’d say?

A/N: Hi anon! First off, I hope you’re okay. Secondly, thank you for requesting! And ofc I’ll write this, comfort fics are my shit! I tried to get this request out as quick as I could and it did take a tiny bit longer than I wanted, but I wanted to do it justice. Also, y’all are beautiful and perfect and I love each and every single person reading this. If anyone ever needs anything, I’m here always. If you wanna talk or vent or just share some of your thoughts, I got you. 

(not my gif)

It was just one of those days. You weren’t a stranger to them but, nonetheless, you always felt unprepared when they hit. The feeling where you wanted to crawl out of your own skin, your own mind. Where regardless of what clothes you wore, you hated how you looked. The thoughts were the worst part, telling you lies that felt terrifyingly like truths. 

You’re worthless. You’re unlovable. You’re ugly. Everyone else can see it. They all know. No one really wants to spend time with you. You’re annoying. You’re stupid. You’re a bad person. 

The thoughts spiraled and spiraled and spiraled until you were lost in your own head. When it came to this, you frequently fell. It was too painful to hold onto your consciousness and fight it, so you let go. The thoughts continued as you curled back up in your bed, in the apartment in Coruscant that you shared with him, the one that normally brought you such comfort, and stared blankly at the wall. Tears streamed down your face and you didn’t even have the energy to wipe them away. 

Truly, the worst part was feeling so defeated. You were a strong Jedi and you took your training seriously. You’d fought in countless battles, you should be able to handle one in your mind. You wished you were strong enough to fight against these thoughts. The shame you felt around your insecurities only made you feel more alone. Instead of reaching out on days like this, you just forced yourself into silence. 

You were especially afraid to tell Anakin. Your beautiful, perfect, kind, loving boyfriend. He didn’t deserve to deal with you. He had enough on his plate, it wasn’t his job to comfort you because you weren’t strong enough to deal with your own shit. You were scared that once he saw how you viewed yourself, he would come clean and admit to seeing you the same way. I mean, you were so obviously hideous, how could he not see it, too?

Meanwhile, Anakin was finishing up a training session in the Jedi Temple. Normally he’d train with Obi-Wan, but today he wanted to focus on himself. Honestly, he was a bit distracted. Since he had a busy day today and you had the day off, he had to leave before you woke up, which he absolutely hated. He loved being there when you woke up and cooking breakfast for the two of you. You’d been dating for a few months and he was truly shocked that you’d kept him around for this long. You were everything he’d ever wanted. 

He realized he was smiling as he thought of you and decided to reach out with the Force to be reminded of your presence. He knew it wasn’t what the Force was supposed to be used for but he honestly couldn’t help it, he missed you. You were a comfort to him and he liked to check and make sure you were alright. 

Anakin’s brow furrowed as he searched for you. Normally, you were meditating at this time and he could feel a sense of serenity and contentment around you. Today, however, he was met with pain. Pain, and fear, and hatred, and sadness, and anguish, and loneliness. Anakin braced himself against the wall, stumbling back at the severity of your emotions. Right after, he composed himself and took off in a run, trying to get to you as quickly as possible. 

“Y/N? Y/N?!” Anakin yelled, bursting through the door. He was immediately taken aback when he noticed that all the lights were off. Walking quietly, he heard your sobs coming from the bedroom. He went in and felt his heart shatter. There you were, his angel, curled under the blankets, sobbing. He looked around and noticed the mirror in your room smashed. He walked over and gently placed a hand on your back, trying not to startle or upset you more. 

You looked up at him and started crying even harder. He pulled you into his arms and noticed how you fell limply into his chest. The fight seemed to have extinguished from your eyes, causing him to hold you even closer. Your arms weakly surrounded his middle as his hands stroked your back and gently combed through your hair. 

You felt lost and trapped, the world around you fuzzy and distorted from the tears. Even so, you felt him. You breathed him in, inhaling his comforting scent and feeling his warmth. He helped you ground yourself, the broken wails eventually quieting into soft cries. Anakin didn’t try to shush you, he just whispered reassurances into your hair, let you get it out, and held you. “I’ve got you, love. It’s alright, get it out. I’m here, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.”

You listened to those affirmations as you sagged into him, taking a few more minutes to just lay there. Softly, Anakin pulled you away from him so he could study you. You saw his face contorted with worry and immediately felt guilty. Great, Y/N, now you’ve made him upset. Fuck, he doesn’t deserve this. Why did I have to be so fucking needy?!

Your thoughts were interrupted by him. “What happened, angel?”

“I-” You trailed off, not sure what to say. “I just had a shit day”

You could tell he knew it was more and, feeling vulnerable under his intensely caring gaze, brought your hand to move the hair out of your face.

Quickly, you heard Anakin take a sharp inhale of breath before grabbing your hand. Ouch. You looked down and noticed the cut on the back of your hand. It had mostly dried by now, thankfully, but the pain from punching that mirror earlier was definitely still registering. 

He wordlessly went to the bathroom and brought out some gauze and anti-bacterial medicine. When he returned, his eyes drifted to the mirror and you saw him putting the pieces together. He spent a few moments in silence, his expression downcast. He worked quickly, bandaging you up and collecting his thoughts. “Why?” He asked, softly.

“I don’t know. I couldn’t stand to look at myself anymore” You whispered, wiping away some residual tears from your eyes. 

“Y/N, you’re gorgeous, love. Please, angel, please look at me.” He cupped your face and moved you so you were in his lap, making sure you heard every word. “You are truly the most breathtaking person I’ve ever met. You’re ethereal.”

Anakin’s voice was quiet as he told you these things. Quiet, yet powerful. Almost as if it was the gentle caress of his innermost thoughts. Completely honest and raw, yet too intimate for anyone to hear except you.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry your brain is lying to you. That must be so hard, fighting against your own mind. Baby, you’re brave. You’re so, so brave.”

You were shaking your head, “Ani, no, no I’m not. I’m not brave, I didn’t fight. I let them consume me. I was drowning and I couldn’t breathe until you came in. I couldn’t anchor myself at all, I was so weak” You said, disgusted with yourself. 

“Shh, shh, Y/N, listen. You are strong because even though you felt the weight of everything on your shoulders, you didn’t drown. I know you felt like you would, but look! You’re here. You didn’t drown.” He took a second to pause, kissing your forehead lovingly. “Do you want to talk about what brought this on?”

“If I tell you, promise you won’t think differently of me?”

“I promise. Nothing could change how I feel about you.”

You inhaled deeply, hands shaking slightly. Ani took them in his own, steadying them while looking at you deeply. “I’ve been dealing with some shit for a while and I think it all kind of caught up to me today? I hate how I look, Ani. I look in the mirror and I can’t handle it. That’s why I broke it, I just, I couldn’t. And then I was just thinking of how you don’t deserve to deal with someone like me. You shouldn’t have to come home after a day of training and deal with my breakdowns. I know I should have told you I’ve been feeling like this. I just was terrified. I was terrified you’d agree with me. I’m terrified you’ll leave me. I’m terrified you’ll wake up and see how you deserve so much more than the shitty fucking messed up person I am.” You trail off and meet his eyes, tears glistening in both of yours, “Ani, I’m so terrified” You finish, voice wavering. 

Anakin rests his forehead against yours, pressing kisses to your hands. He lets his eyes close and tears fall down his cheeks. He couldn’t believe you were in this much pain and he never noticed. You were the love of his life and he felt like he’d failed you if you feel like this. 

“Y/N, I’m not gonna leave you. I’m not going anywhere. You are the best person for me, hell, you’re the best person in the entire fucking galaxy. Everyday I wake up and think about how lucky I am to call you mine. You’re smart, you’re kind, you’re compassionate. You’re stubborn as hell and I love that about you. You challenge me and you’re a damn good Jedi. You’re strong, stronger than anyone should ever have to be. Your heart inspires me everyday. Simply, you’re good. And I know I said it a bit earlier, but I’m gonna say it again. You are stunning, love. Truly.” Anakin said, pulling away so he could really see you. 

“Look at your legs! They’re so pretty, baby. Especially when you jump up and wrap them around me after I get home from a mission? That’s the best feeling in the freaking world! And your stomach! You always let me rest my head on it when I’m tired and I know you think it’s weird but it’s such a good angle because I can lay there and play with your hands. And, baby, your arms!! You give such good hugs and you when wrap them around me?? It makes me feel safe in a world full of chaos. And at night when you use them to curl into me, or when we’re dancing together? Fuck, I just love them.”

Anakin trailed off for a second. He held your face in his palms and you leaned into their warmth. “And you’re face, Y/N. It’s just so perfectly you. When I look into your eyes, I know I’m home. I guess that’s what I’m trying to say. I don’t understand how you can hate your body when it's the body that makes me feel like I’m going to be okay. You make me feel like I’m going to be okay. I’ve always felt so out of control, so lost. But you ground me. Please, come to me if you ever feel like this again? You are not a burden or a messed up person. You’re everything. I’m here for you. I know my words won’t fix anything overnight. Even so, I promise you, I will repeat them everyday until you believe them and, after that, I will continue to remind you until my last breath.”

You hugged him and nuzzled into his chest, overcome with emotion. “I’m trying Ani, I’m really trying. It’s not easy for me to come to people when I feel like that but I promise I’ll try.”

His arms tightened around you and he placed a kiss on the top of your head. “That’s all I could ever ask of you, love. Thank you for being willing to try”

“Thank you, too, for talking me down today. It doesn’t normally get that bad. Some days are worse than others, you know? But you really helped me. I love you more than anything. I love you for loving me when I feel unlovable” 

“I will always be here to remind you how deserving you are of love, happiness, and every other positive thing in the universe. I love you, too. I’ve loved you for years, I love you now, and I’ll love you forever”

Anakin hadn’t really let you go since he returned to the apartment. He was naturally a protective person and hated to see you hurting. He was so soft, so comforting. Although vulnerability is always hard, he made it so much easier. You knew he would always validate you, comfort you, and be there without judgement. He was everything you could possibly need and more.

Eventually, your breathing evened out as he rocked you in his arms. Anakin layed you back under the covers and went to pull away to sweep up the broken mirror’s glass. As he attempted to release himself from your arms, you whined and only tightened your grip on him. Anakin smiled and chuckled quietly, laying down and pulling you on top of his chest. You hummed contently and he placed a few more soft kisses onto your hair, your forehead, your shoulders, everywhere. You were his top priority always and he wanted to keep you safe physically, mentally, and emotionally. He could never deny you comfort, especially not in this state. After waiting a few more moments to ensure you were truly at rest, Ani closed his eyes. The glass could always wait until tomorrow...

[yespolkadotkitty]

i think it’s fair to say that i’ve fallen far too in love with your zach one shots — not only do you capture his persona so well, it genuinely feels like i’m watching an episode of brothers & sisters

also, your ricky one shot was also so so so good!! you have no idea how grateful we all are that you pluck these characters from obscurity and portray their defining characteristics so accurately while also adding the loveliest fluffiest fluff of all time

i was wondering if you would consider writing a jealous!zach one shot? ngl, the (mutual) pining mixed with jealousy trope is my guilty pleasure and i feel like jealous zach would be 11/10

anyway, just wanted to say you’re fucking amazing and i adore your writing — i hope you’re having a great day!!

THANK YOU FOR THIS LOVELY ASK

(NB: Ok I know this is not Zach but it COULD be. It’s the right year. There are SO FEW pics of Zach so let’s just go with it).

Words: 1700 ~ Warnings: jealousy, pining, angst, fluff, one awesome kiss

Pairing: Zach Wellison x gn!reader

************

YOU: Is it wrong to be attracted to the super in my building?

BFF: Why would it be wrong? Use it to curry favour! Get stuff fixed faster! What is he/she like?

YOU: Tall. Tanned. Dark blond. Has a tattoo - military maybe? Sexiest voice ever.

BFF: If you don’t get him, I will.

You set your phone down and smiled.

Maybe I should say something.

Zach had been the building super of your apartment block for the last three months. He was a massive improvement on the last guy, who spent his days playing Zelda and smoking weed and very occasionally getting off his ass to fix stuff.

He’d been to your place - conveniently next door to his, he had a live-in type gig - four times. The garbage disposal, the leaky faucet, the faucet again, and then the window.

Notes could be left in his mailbox downstairs by tenants who needed assistance. He always responded the same day, the next day at the very latest, and he always tried to arrange a time with the occupant that suited them.

He’d gotten all greasy and wet fixing the faucet, his plaid button-down clinging to him, and eventually he’d stripped it off, revealing a tattoo you hadn’t been brave enough to try and examine properly, and some serious biceps.

Next time I see him, you promise yourself.

BFF: Btw, what’s happening with the dude at no 16?

YOU: Nothing.

You’d engaged in a mild flirtation with the well-built guy across the hall. Sometimes he got your mail in his box by mistake and he dropped it off, but lately he hadn’t engaged with you, and you began to think he was just being friendly.

The next day, before you could properly think of what to write down for Zach, the washing machine that came with your place started to leak. You noticed when trying to take your clothes out of it.

“Crap!”

Rather than put a note in his box, you knocked on Zach’s door.

He opened it after a minute, surprise sketched on his handsome face, hair ruffled, sweat beading at the neck of his t-shirt. Past him, you could see weight lifting equipment on the floor, along with a small speaker playing 70s rock.

“Fleetwood Mac?” You ask, smiling. “They’re my favourite.”

“No kidding?” A smile tipped up one corner of his mouth. “So... “ His brown eyes met yours, warm, concerned. “Are you okay?”

“I hate to bother you directly, but my washer’s busted - leaking.”

“It’s no bother.” He glanced behind him. “Give me five, okay? I’ll be right there.”

“Thanks so much, Zach.”

He nods and closes the door. You’re about to turn back to your apartment when Well Built Guy - Damon, you think his name is - comes out of his own apartment.

“Hey,” he greets you.

“Oh, hey. How are you?”

He pushes a hand through his short, black hair. His single earring glints in the daylight; gives him a pleasingly piratical look. “I’m good. How are you?”

“Yeah, good - thanks.” You move again.

“Wait.” He takes a step closer in the small hall. “I was wondering if you - if you wanted to get coffee sometime? This place two blocks over does an amazing dark roast.”

“Oh, well-”

You’re cut off when Zach’s door swings open. He’s changed into a clean shirt, a forest-green henley, and he carries a faded red toolbox. His gaze darts between you and Damon, wary, and for a second, his mouth turns down.

As quickly as you see it, it’s gone.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he mutters, to you. “Can I go in?”

“I’ll let you in, Zach.” You turn your attention to Damon.”Catch you later?”

“Sure, sweet thing.”

He’s called you the nickname before but it’s never chafed until today.

Zach doesn’t react as you come to the door and let him in.

“Thanks for coming by so quickly.”

He doesn’t look at you. “You didn’t have to cut your time with your boyfriend short.” He sets his toolbox down by the washer and kneels, unbothered by the pool of water that begins to leech into the pale denim of his jeans.

“He isn’t my boyfriend.”

Zach sets about exploring the washer. “Okay.”

“He isn’t.” You stuff your hands in your pockets. “You want some coffee?”

For the first time, he looks up at you, and the expression in his honey-brown eyes is scraped bare, and then he looks away and the connection is lost. “Sure. Thanks. Black, one sugar.”

You busy yourself, just a few feet away - your kitchen is not big by any stretch of the imagination.

“Here you go.”

“Thanks.” He’s absorbed, only his waist and ass sticking out from the drum of the washer.

You potter off to do some work.

An half hour later, Zach knocks on the door of your tiny office - the only other “room” of your studio aside from the bathroom. 

“All fixed.”

“Thank you so much, Zach.”

He swipes the back of his hand over his forehead, leaving a smear of grease. “No problem.”

“You’ve got a-” You reach up, every nerve on end, wanting to touch him.

A knock sounds at your door.

Dammit.

“Sorry,” you mutter.

You swing the door open and Damon is there with two coffees.

“I was on my way back from the office,” he says. “I thought you might like to - oh, the super’s still there. Not fixed yet, pal?”

Damon says it innocuously but you see Zach’s shoulders tense.

“Nope, all good.” He rubs the palms of his hands together in a “that’s done” gesture. “I’ll get out of your hair.”

“... Place next door is this amazing Italian,” Damon is saying, oblivious. “It’s pretty pricey but I’d love to take you there.”

Zach pushes between you and out of the door, but you see the crestfallen set of his shoulders as he goes.

The door swings shut behind him and you turn back to Damon, resigned to see this conversation out, and to make it clear that he’s kind, but you aren’t interested.

*******

That evening, you take the stairs down to the communal gym in your building. Well. Gym is stretching it. There’s one ancient rowing machine, one treadmill, a barbell that has seen much better days, and a CRT TV that only shows Judge Judy. But, you don’t have to pay for it, so it beats a gym contract elsewhere in the city.

When you push through the door, Zach is on the treadmill, earphones in. He’s wearing a sleeveless vest and your gaze is drawn to his intricate tattoo - an eagle perched on a world, an anchor hugging the globe. Marines.

Wow, you think - wow.

Sweat trickles down the back of his neck, and his thick, dark gold hair curls around his nape.

Now or never.

You walk over to the treadmill and drop your gym bag to announce your presence.

Zach turns, does a double take, and then presses a button on the treadmill to slow it down. He pulls his earphones out.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Zach.”

Curiosity flits across his features. “Something you need?”

You swallow. He looks so good, his pale gold skin slick with clean sweat, his breath coming in soft pants, his chest rising and falling, lean muscles delineated by the clinging vest.

“No. I mean, yes.”

“And you can’t get the guy at 16 to help?” he snarks.

You step back.

“Sorry,” Zach says, immediately. “I just…”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you assure Zach.

Above his head, on the TV, Judge Judy silently reprimands a woman with six face piercings.

“He could be. Guy like him. Good job. He’d take you to fancy Italian places.”

You curl your hand around the arm of the treadmill. “Maybe I don’t want to go to fancy Italian places.”

Zach huffs out a breath, but you have his interest.

“Maybe I’d just like to hang out with you.”

Suspicion narrows his eyes. “Why?”

“Maybe I like you? Did you consider that? Maybe, for some bizarre reason, I think you’re nice and attractive?” you wave your arms, frustrated.

Zach folds his arms across his chest, pursing his lips. “I used to be a Marine, but I had to resign my commission because I got hit hard with PTSD. I lived on the street for two years.”

You hold his gaze as he speaks. 

“Why are you telling me this?”

But then you know. He’s telling you so you’ll turn tail and go back to Damon, with his suits and fancy haircut and ability to take you out for $100 dinners.

He expects you to turn him down.

Because that’s what happens. What has happened and what he thinks will happen now.

Zach firms his lips and shakes his head slightly.

“Just go,” he says, so softly, mistaking your silence for pity, rather than resolve.

“No.” Instead, you lean up on your toes and touch your lips to his.

He starts, and then holds perfectly still. You break the kiss, and look up into his face, and he’s gazing at you like you hung the moon and all the stars.

“I like you, Zach,” you whisper. “And I don’t care if our first date is a picnic in the park.”

He blinks, turning away from you for a second, and then he ducks under the arm of the treadmill, and he’s so close that you breath catches. 

“I’ve thought about this,” he murmurs, and then he cups your face in his hands and kisses you like he means it, lips and teeth and tongue, and it’s everything.

You spear your fingers into his hair and breathe him in, press yourself against the hard wall of his chest, sigh his name against his lips.

“I gotta shower,” he says, with clear reluctance, his voice half an octave lower, unsteady from a kiss that has rocked both your worlds. “Then, let’s see about that picnic.”

**********

Zach Pit & permanent taglist: @mrschiltoncat @astroboots @songsformonkeys @biblioworm @aeryntheofficial @thirstworldproblemss @wheresarizona @pedropascalito @knittingqueen13 @alwaysbethewest @agirllovespancakes @f0rever15elf @heatherbel @frannyzooey @lannister-slings-and-arrows @sarahjkl82-blog @thedazeinmylife @holographic-carmen @idreamofboobear @fromthedeskoftheraven @disgruntledspacedad @chicken-nugget-puta @miulola @nelba @alienprincesspoop @tardisfangurl @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @mylonelylittleappreciation @filthybookworm @absurdthirst @thestrawberry-thief @lilangeldevil006 @marydjarin @jedi-mando @havenforafrazzledmind @myoxisbroken @10-96dispatcher @stormtrooperofficerbrowneyes @mrsparknuts @roxypeanut

[writingdayandnight]

Line Without a Hook - Rafael Barba Imagine

Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader (Fem. Pronouns) 

Word Count: 2650

A/N: Inspiration struck, perhaps a little OOC. Will probably go back later and edit. Just a little treat for everyone who misses Barba like I do. 

10:56 PM.

There was not a doubt in Rafael’s mind that he would not be home until after midnight. This case had been excruciating--brutal, really. Everyone had been pushed to their breaking point. Blood, sweat, and tears were poured into this case.

And here Rafael was with a pen cap fastened between his teeth, struggling to write an opening argument. It all seemed trivial. That words had the power to make or break a month’s worth of hard work. And that all he could think about was going home to his partner. 

He wouldn’t allow himself the privilege of a break until he finished his opening and prepped the summations, which was always his least favorite part. Tying everything together with a neat bow seemed to minimize the effort put into seeking justice. But it was his strong suit. There wasn’t a jury he couldn’t convince if given enough leeway during summations. 

His mind wandered yet again, back to the person that was waiting for him. He knew she would still be waiting for him when he got home, undoubtedly doing work of her own. She found solace in the quiet of the night. She would sit at the dining table with papers scattered across the surface, highlighters uncapped, lukewarm tea cooling unforgotten. 

Then there were her expressions. A furrowed brow while drafting a proposal. A lip bite accompanied by pensive tapping on the table. Her head slowly moving to the beat of the music that was playing from the speaker in the corner of the room. An exasperated sigh escaping as she typed another after-hours email. All of these things were the tiny details that Rafael loved noticing, learning, anticipating.

Finally, Rafael caved and placed a long-awaited phone call.

“Raf,” she answered, voice as tender as kiss goodbye.

“Cariño,” he replied, feeling a million times better just knowing she was on the opposite end of the line.

“When will you be home?” He could hear her trying to hide a yawn behind the scenes.

“Not any time soon.”

“Rafael, please take care of yourself,” she pleaded, yet it was to no avail. She knew this.

“I have to finish this prep, Cariño.” He could hear her eyes roll from across the line, “I bet you’re still doing work, too.”

“That’s none of your business,” she retorted, with a guilty shift in energy. 

“Take care of yourself,” he repeated, “I’ll be home soon. Don’t wait up.” 

“I love you.”

His heart grew full, “I love you more.”

Rafael ended the call, reclining in his leather chair. He had been overcome by love, both for his partner and for the way his life had been going lately. Despite the monstrosities he witnessed at work, everything had been going well. Even then, he enjoyed working with his coworkers; they acted as a support system, making the job a little more bearable. 

Then there was his love life. For once, everything was going right. He felt loved, supported, and capable of doing the same for his partner. It had been too long since he had that privilege. He knew too well the outcomes of a loveless life and he was trying desperately to escape them. Deep down, he understood that he didn���t deserve that. 

But there were times where he thought he didn’t deserve the love he had stumbled into. Never in a million years would he have thought that he would have fallen in love with the girl from the bar. 

The rain had finally let up outside, encouraging a few stragglers to clear the bar. Rafael remained, nursing a scotch on the rocks, muttering to himself about the news on the television overhead. It was a bunch of nonsense about the news anchor he and the SVU squad had just charged. He couldn’t listen much longer. 

A gust of wind hit as the door to Forlini’s opened; it sent shivers down Rafael’s back. Inquisitively, Rafael turned to see the person who just waltzed into the bar. Much to his surprise, it was a beautiful woman. He smirked and returned to his drink, secretly hoping that she would find her way to the bar.

She did just that, taking a seat two stools down from Rafael. He continued to watch the television, discreetly listening to her conversation with the bartender. Small talk. Nothing more, nothing less. Aside from her order--a vodka cranberry. 

“Will you get a load of this idiot?” She chirped, scoffing at the story of the news anchor. Her head was tilted in Rafael’s direction. 

He took a moment to answer, pausing to make sure she was directing her remarks towards him. 

“He’s surely a handful,” Rafael replied. 

Just then, his face appeared on the television screen. They had played his interview on the courthouse steps. He had been ambushed by the press, and even though he delivered better than most, it was not his best work. He silently thanked the Lord that the sound was off.

“Is that you?” She asked, spinning in her seat to face Rafael.

“Yes, it is.”

“It’s a shame, you look better in person,” she tisked, taking another sip of her drink.

Rafael couldn’t respond out of awe. No, that wasn’t the right word. He couldn’t respond because he was flustered. That was a first. 

“Sorry, it’s the vodka talking,” she retracted, making a face that suggested she was embarrassed. 

“No, I’m flattered. It’s not everyday the pretty girl at the bar tells me how attractive I look while sulking alone.”

“This is your version of sulking? Sitting at a bar surrounded by a bunch of people?”

“Perhaps,” he smirked, “Rafael,” he offered his hand.

“Y/N.”

“Beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”

“I was named after a comic book character, please don’t give my parents that kind of credit,” she laughed. It was contagious, infecting Rafael with an affliction that could not be easily cured. Not without an exchange of numbers and a couple of dates.

The memories of their first meeting flooded Rafael’s mind. It further distracted him from the task at hand. But how could he not think of the most impactful night of his life? Screw graduating from law school or getting promoted; nothing could top falling in love with Y/N. 

Nothing could top her love. From the little notes she dropped in Rafael’s briefcase to the silent support she offered when Rafael was not strong enough to ask for it. That’s when his mind wandered even farther, thinking back to the night he decided he was in love with Y/N. 

Rafael sat on the couch in a near-catatonic state. He couldn’t muster enough energy to move. His mind kept circling back to the horrors he had witnessed over the past 24 hours. In his ten years, never once had a case hit him this hard. It just cemented the callousness of man, something he had been trying to deny for so long. There was no such thing as a good person.

There was a knock at the door, a sound that should have startled him. Instead he was too lost in thought to react. He simply got up from the couch and headed to the door, only to be greeted by Y/N on the other side. 

“Rafael,” she mused, before noticing the hurt behind his eyes, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

She invited herself in, dropping her overnight bag by the door. Concern washed over her.

Rafael tried to speak but no words came out. He couldn’t find the right thing to say. His choices were to expose Y/N to the horrors of his job or simply keep it bottled up. His choice was the latter; he couldn’t bear the thought of unloading this grief on her. 

“Raf, please talk to me,” she quietly pleaded. 

He did not respond. Instead, he made his way to the couch, taking a seat in the same spot he had been sulking in for the past three hours. 

Y/N followed without command. She rested her head on his shoulder, wrapping her hands gently around his arm. She placed a kiss on his cheek. It made Rafael’s heart jump, yet he still remained silent. 

But that didn’t deter Y/N. She remained glued to his side, occasionally laying a gentle kiss on him or drawing circles on his bicep. She didn’t push; she knew better than that. Still, just her presence brought Rafael to his knees. 

After an hour or so, Rafael could feel her heartbeat slow. He could see her eyes fluttering shut from the corners of his. 

“I love you,” he whispered, hoping that she wouldn’t hear. Rafael felt guilty saying those words for the first time in such a terrible state. 

“I love you more,” she replied, drifting into a slumber in his arms. 

Rafael knew this could never be true. 

The hands on the clock seemed to turn at an unprecedented pace, yet Rafael had gotten little done. It all seemed pointless. There had to be more to life than this. Hours spent in some poorly-lit office drinking dirt flavored coffee, waiting for his mind to stop running a marathon so he could focus. Watching people suffer everyday for some little bit of justice. Doubting the existence of good in the world with every passing moment. 

But the thing he couldn’t stand was being away from the love of his life. For such a pointless endeavor. It was pointless, but it wasn’t what he wanted. Not anymore. Not with the prospect of love sitting right in front of him. In that moment, he decided to be the most spontaneous he had ever been. 

He whipped open the bottom left drawer of his desk, pulled out a copy of his resignation letter, signed it, and placed it in the mailbox of his boss. He grabbed his jacket, briefcase, and cellphone before practically running to the lobby of Hogan Place. By a stroke of sheer luck, a taxi had been idling outside. Rafael got into the taxi without hesitation--or permission--and called out the address to the apartment he had shared with Y/N. Getting to their front door was his only objective. 

As he settled into the taxi, he reached inside of his briefcase and felt a small item lodged at the bottom. Rafael quizzically pulled it out, determining that it was cube-shaped. As it was illuminated by the passing streetlights, he recognized it instantly. And that’s where he decided to make the best decision of his life. 

“Mami, are you going to be okay if I’m gone for two weeks on vacation?” Rafael asked, changing a lightbulb in his mother’s apartment. 

It was a Saturday which meant it was his day to do chores around his mother’s apartment, with much reluctance on behalf of Lucia, while Y/N went through her laminated chore checklist back at their apartment. Rafael had come straight from his office, totally forgetting his to-dos. Until Y/N reminded him--a pretty common occurrence. 

“I promise, Mijo,” she said, taking his hand and guiding him down the step stool, “I’m just happy you’re taking time off.”

“Me too,” he sighed, a wave of bliss flooding his mind as he thought of going to Greece with Y/N. He’s dreamt of her sunburnt cheeks and wine-stained lips since the moment he bought the tickets. 

“It seems like an awfully romantic vacation. Have you thought about asking yet?” Lucia hinted, pointing to her ring finger. 

Rafael didn’t want to say ‘yes.’ He didn’t want to let her know that he had been planning it since their six-month anniversary. He couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with the woman he loved. 

“I’ve considered it,” he teased, “but Greece is too cliche. She wouldn’t appreciate it.”

“You underestimate her, Rafi. She loves you.” 

“And I love her. More than anything.” 

Lucia scoffed, furrowing her brow in disgust.

“Besides you, Mami,” he sang, pulling her in for a hug,

While in Rafael’s arms, Lucia slyly removed a small box from her pocket and slipped it into Rafael’s briefcase. It was his grandmother’s ring, the one she always talked about leaving for him. The one she made sure to mention everyday she was sick. Lucia would never forget something that important. 

Rafael grabbed his belongings with haste, basically throwing $50 at the cab driver, telling him to keep the tip. He slammed the door behind him, jogging to the apartment elevators. He was too lost in thought to greet the doorman or the security guard at the front desk. He was focused on one thing and one thing only.

The elevator couldn’t come fast enough--Rafael tapped his foot anxiously, cursing the damned thing. As soon as it opened, he pushed the 8th floor button at least ten times. He felt a rush of nausea, excitement, fear run over him. The elevator dinged and Rafael ran, rummaging through his pockets for his keys. 

He opened the door as fast as he could, revealing Y/N calmly making a cup of tea in the kitchen. Lamplight illuminated the living room. Her laptop was opened to a document, purple and yellow sticky notes scattered on the table. 2000s Pop Hits playing in the background. He had captured her in her natural element; he was witnessing the essence of Y/N.

“Baby, it’s midnight,” he spoke, calmer than he had been all day. 

“I know, but I was in the zone. I thought you wouldn’t be home tonight,” she answered, walking over to place a kiss on his lips, before strolling back to the kitchen to stop the whistling kettle. 

Rafael’s heart was beating out of his chest. His hands were shaking, mind racing. This was it. This felt right.

“Y/N?” 

“What’s up, babe?” She gently blew on her tea to cool it down. 

“I quit my job today.” 

Y/N almost did a spit, “I’m sorry, what?” She exclaimed.

“I couldn’t do it anymore. It broke me, Y/N.” He sighed, walking to her side, “There are better things in life than case briefs and court.”

Y/N was shocked but supportive, “Well, I’m glad you’re finally free. Why don’t you get ready for bed and sleep for the first time in a decade?” She laughed, placing her hand on his shoulder. 

“There’s one more thing,” Rafael said, reaching into his pocket and for the emerald box that housed his grandmother’s ring, 

Rafael expected the words to escape him; he hadn’t prepared anything in the taxi. These weren’t summations, he needed guidance.

But that didn’t stop him. 

“Y/N, you made me realize that I don’t want to live my life circling the drain and going through the motions. You have brought color to my black and white life. The joy you bring me everyday is immeasurable. Every second I spend away from you makes me feel like the world is ending. I can’t live without you, Y/N. That’s why I’m asking you-” Rafael began to bend his knee before Y/N cut him off.

“Yes! You don’t even have to ask. Yes, yes, yes!” She exclaimed, a tear already sliding down her cheek.

Rafael pulled out his grandmother’s golden ring from the box and slipped it on Y/N’s finger with extra care, as if she was made of glass. Tears had formed in his eyes as well, seeing the ring that reminded him so much of the other most important lady in his life. The most romantic person he had ever met. 

“I love you, Y/N. I wish I could have given you a better proposal, but I couldn’t wait,” he chuckled, once again admiring how well the ring hugged her fingers. 

“If you waited any longer, I was going to ask you,” she laughed, kissing him again and again. “Let’s go to bed,” she whispered, placing a kiss on Rafael’s neck.

[prncssguya]

TDJ episode 12 thoughts (i’m dead inside actually. i don’t know how many times i had to pause to keep my emotions in check)

Here’s your reminder that we can agree to disagree. Not all of us are going to see things the same way and we don’t have to criticize each other’s perspective to the point of being an ass.

First i want to start with the two most annoying people: Soo Hyun and Min Junho

Why is min junho so dead set against yohan. Did yohan wrong him in a past life and he’s getting revenge? He literally blames him for everything. And even when he’s not by his side, Ga On knows that Yohan had nothing to do with attacking him bc he knows him. but min junho doesn’t believe that all. I just don’t know what GO is thinking anymore, like he knows his mentor and SH are never going to see eye to eye with Yohan. What is he going to do going forward? And Soo Hyun, i guess she felt that slap was deserved seeing as GaOn has been keeping secrets from her. But her saying “do you know what I had to do for you?” Like first of all, no one told you clean up that blood he left behind so why are you making him feel guilty about that? Also even if his prints were found, it’s pretty obviously a suicide. Does she not have more important work to do besides investigating yohan, I mean it’s an obsession at this point.

Personally I think Soo Hyun’s character is only exists to cause clashes between Ga On and Yohan.

I did the biggest eyeroll when Soo Hyun pulled the waterworks act and snitched to min junho then the next scene is him calling Yohan into his office. “what are you making Ga On do?” Why do they treat him like a child who can’t make his own decisions?? I would be so very annoyed at this point if I were Yohan.

“You seem to think you’re fighting a monstrous world.” Well yea that’s because he is. How has a chief justice survived this long and got to where he is with this kind of logic. Not everything can be won through the law and there are many avenues to justice, just because you don’t like Yohan’s methods doesn’t means he’s the Devil incarnate.

“I am the abyss.” - Kang Yohan (hehe 😈)

The president and his merry little band of men are asking to be k worded. i’m just waiting on sun ah to go completely batshit (she’s pretty much there already). i was about to stab that president in the one scene where he was acting so mysognistic and using his power to try to intimidate Sun Ah. you could tell she was feeling some type of way. it probably brought back memories of that other guy taking advantage of her. she probably just hates men and i can’t say i really blame her.

i hate her so much but she was serving 🔥

K better not be dead 😭😭😤 Yohan is losing his entire harem

does Oh Jin Joo even know what she’s gotten herself into?? I don’t think she does because she’s been left in the dark so much. based on the preview, her and ga on will clash

GaOn-Yohan (Gahan) it was just an angsty breakup episode for them

is it really a tdj episode if Ga On isn’t crying. and not him praying the Kangs have no more tears or nightmares. they had that with you you himbo

I mean what even was this?? 😭 and yohan why aren’t you taking his calls? why are y’all like this. this breakup is bad for all parties involved

Update: he was actually calling soo hyun not yohan, which makes a lot more sense but i will pretend to be oblivious to this knowledge

everyone’s sad and depressed 💔 (ga on see what you did)

and Elijah even drew you (the cat made an appearance!)

This show has shown me that a lot of people watching this show don’t know what empathy is. That ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes and see things from their POV. My Twitter timeline is in shambles, people slandering Ga On, telling him to die (that’s sick come on now)

I don’t hate Ga On for the choice he made. I just wish he could be more consistent like you came to this family and you declared that you were going to this side, you made them care for you and they treated you like family now you just run away. Leaving them destitute, without warmth. but i understand and i think it was the simple fact that he is afraid. afraid of losing himself and losing an anchor who’s always been in his life. when he looked at the blood on his hands, he was about to have a panic attack until Yohan laid a comforting hand on him. And why did K say that “if you stay by Judge Kang side you’ll end up losing everything” I think this fueled Ga On’s final decision to leave

But Ga On, if Soo Hyun really loves you she would try seeing things from your POV and get to know your found family who you care about so much. Why did you have to leave them? You’re depressed about it, so is your family and so are we. So crush this weird dependence you have on Soo Hyun and tell her that you love them too. i just think he shouldn’t have to choose and people keep giving him an ultimatum (soo hyun, junho, yohan) just leave the poor man alone.

the breakup scene tore me to pieces. you can pinpoint the exact moment Yohan’s heart broke. Yohan knows Ga On is hurting. When Ga On said all heartbreakingly with the sad music in the background “what kind of monster am I turning into?” you can tell that really broke Yohan’s heart but still he wanted him on his side, being part of the plan with him. And it’s so sad you could see in his eyes this was breaking him too, but he literally pleaded with him to stay the course and stay with him. He could see that Ga On was slipping away from him and he tried to think of what to say to him to make him stay.

That grip

That whole montage when Yohan was jogging just reminiscing back on him and Ga On, dude is whipped so hard.

Nanny was just like “yea absence makes the heart grow fonder, should’ve treated him better” 💀😂 then him telling the nanny that she could eat with him. he’s gotten so used to eating with his family now, he can’t go back to eating alone but he had too 🥲

Yohan finally got his card game and he looked so happy, smiling and laughing openly. He didn’t even wait to ask to be included he just inserted himself at the table.

“I don’t care if humanity falls, as long as I have you two.” 😭😭😭

[saffron-nova21]

XIX. Secret Tours

Remember Me Masterlist

< Previous Chapter • Next Chapter >

Warnings: Strong language

A/N: I know, I’m so sorry about the lack of a read more, I might try to add one later, but currently, they aren’t working on my phone and my laptop is out of commission. I’m really, really sorry, guys.

...

With a sweet, but sleepy, smile plastered on your lips, you step away from the train with Atsumu, your bag slung over your shoulder, finding yourself excited to meet Tetsurō in person. You might not have known him for very long, nor had you met him in person yet, but all he’d been was a good friend to you. One you had come to need and depend on, with all that had been going on in your life. All of those lonely days, who had texted you and grounded you throughout all of it? Not your brother, not any of your team mates, no... It had been a stranger you’d met through Twitter, by pure coincidence.

He was the one who had knocked some sense into you to stop giving Rintarō chances. He was the one who talked you into telling Atsumu what had happened, rather than continuing to allow yourself to be manipulated. He had been the one to tell you that quitting volleyball club and practicing on your own would be best, with the way the other team members continuously made you feel like shit and gave you the cold shoulder.

When you spot he and his best friend standing there, the latter with a game in his hands, you nearly jump out of your skin as a jolt of excitement runs through you.

Looking at who who assumed to be Kenma, you found yourself touched that Kenma continuously glanced up to search for you, immediately getting the sense that he probably didn’t do that very often.

You end up walking towards them without a word to your best friend. Though Atsumu would tease you later on, saying you were borderline running to the two. When they caught sight of you, Kenma and Tetsurō go bug-eyed for a moment. Kenma’s arms fall a bit as his attention shifts to you, completely.

Both of them were quickly able to come to one conclusion: Any pictures of you did you no justice.

As you reach them, you stop just short of them, having to retrain yourself from leaping on them both... They’d been so good to you, it only felt normal to want to hug them.

“Hi,” you grin at them both, effectively breaking their momentarily stunned silence, your smile shining nearly as brightly as the sun.

A grin emerges on Tetsurō’s face as he shakes his head and offers open arms, to which you nearly jump in, hugging him tightly. Very quickly, he had become your anchor, being there for you and believing in you, when even your team lost faith in you and you could only hope your embrace conveyed all of the emotions that you couldn’t voice.

Hugging Tetsurō felt like hugging an old friend, or an older brother you never got to see. His embrace felt warm and it made this sense of security wash over you that you hadn’t felt in a very long time.

“Ready to go?”

“Of - fucking - course I am!” Your voice attracts the attention of people around you and makes Kenma look back down at his screen, being knocked from his trance. He hadn’t been staring, he hadn’t been staring, he hadn’t been stari — “I get to come and play volleyball with some of Tokyo’s best. Not to mention, Tokyo has some other-worldly pretty setters.”

Kenma doesn’t respond, his head just shooting up to give you a brief, almost confused glance look before returning his attention to his gaming device.

Though you don’t miss the reddening of his ears.

“Yeah, I meant you, Kenma, baby.” You grin, finally slipping from Tetsurō’s embrace to look at Kenma, who looks at you again.

Momentarily, the faux-blonde looks confused, before he lets out a small exhale, opening his own arms to you. Moving forward, you embrace him, without a care in the world that you hardly knew him. And as he rests his chin on your shoulder, you miss the slight smile that forms on his lips.

Pulling away after a moment, you allow Kenma back to his game, “You guys give some amazing fucking hugs. Just thought you should know.” You inform them, before turning to face an oddly quiet Atsumu.

You always complimented people a lot and borderline flirted with everyone around you, until you and Suna started dating. And now, you were back to being your normal flirty self.

Though Atsumu was the same way, consistently flirting with everything that breathed.

You both weren’t together, you’d just been flirting, putting your past feelings out in the open, and opening the doors to a relationship between you both maybe having a relationship one day.

There was nothing exclusive between you both, as far as you were aware. Not to mention that he was still talking up a storm with his fan club, just yesterday.

But apparently you were wrong.

...

You shouldn’t have been as excited as you were about touring Nekoma High. You’d be transferring for your final year of high school, leaving behind all of the people you’d met. Leaving, even if Suna could regain his memories any day now, leaving even though you and Atsumu had only just laid out all of your feelings out on the table, together.

As you approach the large gym, a smile forms on your face, eyes shining as if you’d just opened a present. Everyone around you could see the way you picked up your pace and held your head up higher, even if you didn’t quite notice it.

Entering the gym, you looked around, glancing at all of the people who looked towards you at your entrance. As much as you wanted to shy away from the attention, you couldn’t, just grinning as Tetsurō comes to stand next to you.

The realization seems to hit them, the teams walking over to speak and introduce themselves.

You were so caught up that you didn’t notice the way Atsumu watched you. Even though he introduced himself and conversed with his normal lazy smirk, he couldn’t miss the way you smiled.

For so many weeks, your smiles had been half-hearted. They hadn’t quite reached your eyes, and everyday, it seemed like you were dragging your feet, just waiting, wishing the days would come to an end. So how could he miss your first genuine smile in weeks? How could he miss the way your eyes lit up, while you looked around? How could he miss the way you spoke to them excitedly, without having to hold your tongue for fear of people attacking you for what you said? How could he miss the way you clicked so easily with these people?

That's the thing. He couldn't.

...

"I think you'll really like the people here, too. Of course, every high school can have a toxic atmosphere, but it hasn't really ever gotten half as bad over here as what you've had to deal with, in the past months." Tetsurō explains with a grin playing on his lips.

"Over here are some of our other clubs. I assumed you'd be signing up for the volleyball club, but in case you truly wanted a clean break, here you are." Reaching a hand to the bulletin, he pulls off one of the many sheets, filled with different clubs. "Do you want to look at the classrooms, or would you rather tour the courtyard?"

Thinking momentarily, you roll your shoulders in a nonchalant shrug, "Honestly, you said it yourself, the Chemistry classroom was the most interesting and you already showed it to me, so the courtyard sounds best."

With a nod and a teasing smirk cast in your direction, a 'this way, your highness' came from your friend.

Walking to the courtyard with Tetsurō, you smile, "So... Kenma. He's... Interesting."

The Captain goes bug-eyed at your words, though it's hidden behind a curtain of messy black hair, from the angle you're looking at him. He quickly hides it with a discreet shake of his head. "What happened to that setter of yours, that you were so in-love with?"

Embarrassment floods you, your face growing warm as your bring a hand to rub the back of your neck. "What-?" Your feigned ignorance doesn't fly with your new friend, though, who makes you drop your 'act' with a knowing look. "Look, I love Atsumu... But am I in love with him?" You sigh. "I told him that it might be possible that I attempted to move on with him... But I know how he's going to take it, when I tell him I'm changing schools.

"I love Atsumu, I do... But I know him better than anyone else. Except for maybe Osamu. And knowing him so well means knowing that he's not going to want to accept it. He's going to think I'm abandoning him and lash out. Then he'll feel guilty, but won't apologize, because he's prideful."

Tetsurō furrows his brows, looking at you, "Then what are you going to do? Just not say anything when you disappear, next school year?"

Looking around, you smile a bit up at the bright blue sky. A few fluffy white clouds decorated it, but otherwise, it was nothing but clear skies. It almost made you forget the fact that Atsumu wouldn't be able to handle you moving schools. He'd nearly lost his shit when you had changed middle schools and the only way that he had kept his cool was knowing you'd be going to the same high school together.

"I don't know."

Tetsurō nods a bit in understanding, opting not to say much more on the topic.

As Tetsurō continued to give you the tour, neither of you noticed the texts from Kenma, warning you that Atsumu had left the gym in search of 'the bathroom' and hadn't come back.

And you would soon find yourself regretting not checking your phone.

Tetsurō honestly hopes that you and Kenma get along. He worries about Kenma, for after he goes to university, and knowing that he's leaving someone behind who will make sure Kenma takes care of himself makes him feel a lot better.

Atsumu wants you happy. But he wants you happy with him. Even if you're not dating, he knows distance can ruin friendships.

You know that you're attracted to Kenma - of course, you wouldn't call it a crush since you only just met him, but you do want to get to know him more.

I hope you guys are enjoying, still!

You guys better be eating some food, drinking some water, and taking care of yourselves mentally and physically. But remember, no matter what, I'm proud of you and I love you. You're doing great, today. Even if you just got out of bed, keep it up, because you're doing great, alright? Things will get better, I promise.

Taglist:

@kookie-doughs @halesandy @ermahgerd-larry-and-ziam @kac-chowsballs @saltylettuce @its-the-aerieljeane @javj @ash-levi @babyshoyo @hiraeth-z @random-fandom-girl-24 @kodzuklutz @tsukkiswifeey @thollandx @pandauniverse @starylust

[greymantledlady]

you are my sweetest downfall

Adam squeezes Michael’s hands again, reassuring. 'Remember – back down there – how we agreed to talk to each other if anything bothered us? This is like that, okay?’

Michael looks stricken. ‘Oh,’ he says in a small voice. ‘Oh. I didn’t – it really isn’t anything worth your time – ’

My second fic for @midamweek! People seemed to really enjoy Adam calling Michael 'sweetheart' in the previous fic in this verse, so I decided to expand on it. Michael is a dork, honestly.

Read on AO3 or below the cut:

Having an archangel as your boyfriend is really good, actually. Better than good.

Adam, in all his years of (largely) calm and resigned pining in the Cage, had never actually, truly believed he had a chance of anything like this with Michael, anything so soft and domestic and - well, astonishingly, normal, really. It still hits him sometimes, that warm rush of astounded happiness when Michael can't stop looking hopefully down at his lips until Adam simply has to press in close and kiss him, when Michael flushes at Adam making the mildest and most low-hanging of innuendos, when Michael asks him what would be the best gift to give Adam for St Valentine's Day. 

The last incident had occurred in July, because Michael had thought Adam would probably forget all about the conversation by the time February rolled around, and he had been so endearingly pleased with himself over this plan that Adam had started laughing and pulled him down onto the couch by the fire and kissed and sucked all the way down his neck until it bruised.

Given that Michael was at the time a metaphysical projection of grace shaped into a copy of Adam's own body and existing in a dimension faintly to the left of the mortal plane, it probably didn't actually need to have bruised, but Michael had warmed extremely quickly to the concept of hickeys, apparently. He likes them a lot, likes to keep them and nurse them and admire them in the mirror when he thinks Adam's not looking, and Adam thinks it's kind of the best thing ever.

Right now, though, Adam's a little worried.

Michael has been - off - for a little while now. Not worryingly so - nothing like the shaking bouts of grief that Adam had held him through when he'd first gotten back, when he'd been mourning the asshole father who'd never loved or deserved him. Nothing like that, it's just - a sort of odd wistfulness that seems to fall over him sometimes, at the strangest of moments, and Adam is determined to work out what’s causing it.

***

They're in bed, Adam happily boneless and tired out and curled around Michael, stroking his hair while Michael smooths his hand up and down Adam's back in the firm way that Adam likes, his grace-formed body firmly anchored to the physical world this time, as warm and solid as Adam's own. Adam nuzzles his cheek affectionately, smiling against his skin when Michael hums with contentment. 

'Hey,' he says quietly, squinting a little to focus on Michael's face.

'Adam,' Michael says, just as soft. He looks hopeful for a moment, as though he's waiting for something. Adam's not quite sure what it is. He traces his thumb gently over Michael's collarbone, waiting to see if he'll come out with it, but eventually Michael just sighs quietly and turns his face to press it into Adam's hair.

***

Adam, before he’d been killed and resurrected, had enjoyed baking.

Of course, that had been more than a thousand years ago, but – well, time was weird that way, when it came to being trapped in an archangel cage in Hell. It wasn't that he'd forgotten any of it, of course, and he valued those memories, the way Michael had softened, increment by increment, until somewhere along the line he'd become someone Adam couldn't live without.

It was just that, once they'd gotten out, the memories seemed condensed, so that you weren't sure at all if it had been ten years or a thousand. Adam wondered sometimes whether that was what Michael's billions of years of existence must feel like to him, too.

Anyway, he'd liked to bake. When he'd come back, after the first long pain-filled months of negotiating with the Winchesters to bring Michael back too, and after the first whirlwind of joy of finding out Michael wanted him the same way, he'd started again, searching up recipes online on his phone and writing them out in a notebook if they turned out successfully.

Today, he’s craving choc chip cookies, so he looks at the pantry and pulls out flour and sugar and chocolate chips, opening the packet immediately to sneak a few to nibble on as he starts to measure everything out. They need a medium-sized mixing bowl; he needs to put that on the list for the next time they go grocery shopping. The big one is fine for today, though.

‘What are you doing?’ Michael asks, coming up behind him. He touches Adam’s elbow with a soft hand as he passes, leaning on the counter to watch.

‘Baking!’ Adam says. He bumps his hip gently against Michael’s. ‘I’m making choc chip cookies.’

Michael shifts a little closer so they can stay connected, and leans over to inspect the ingredients, poking a finger into the well of flour Adam has measured out, leaving a little dent. He’s always been surprisingly tactile, liking to touch new things, test them on his fingers.

‘Don’t eat that,’ Adam warns. ‘It tastes awful raw. Choc chips are better, here.’ He picks out a single chip – no need to overwhelm Michael’s still-developing sense of taste – and says, with a grin, ‘Open your mouth.’

Michael raises an eyebrow, looking at him, soft-eyed and so in love that it makes Adam’s heart pulse with warmth. ‘Okay, kid,’ he says, and opens up.

Adam puts down his spoon, buzzing with affection, and presses closer, leaning up against Michael’s chest and delighting in the way Michael’s arms come up to circle his waist. ‘Hey,’ he murmurs, up close, and runs his thumb along Michael’s parted lips, just to tease him a little.

Michael sighs, soft, bending forward, only to be foiled by Adam’s hand. ‘Choc chip,’ Adam reminds him, and pops it in.

‘Mm,’ Michael says, nibbling. He looks so surprised at the small burst of sweetness that Adam grins again.

‘Good, yeah?’ he says. ‘Do you want another one?’

Michael licks his lips. ‘It was good,’ he says. ‘I don’t want another one, though.’ His eyes dip downwards, his hand stroking a hopeful little circle on Adam’s back.

‘I can’t imagine what you do want,’ Adam teases. He snuggles himself a little more firmly against Michael, runs his hands down his sides and around to fit into his back pockets, enjoying the way Michael shivers. ‘Oh, get over here.’

‘I am here,’ Michael says, but then Adam kisses him, slow and sweet, smiling against his lips before pulling back. ‘Oh,’ he says softly. ‘Adam.’

‘Michael,’ Adam says, just as softly, and leaves another tiny kiss at the corner of Michael’s mouth, the moment drawing out soft and gentle; the kind of moment that you could live in forever. Michael’s eyes are soft and hazy, leaning into him, and Adam reaches up to run his knuckles over his cheek.

Michael exhales, and strokes his hands gently across Adam’s back, watching him closely. He has that odd, hidden wistfulness in his face again, as though he’s waiting for something, and Adam wants to do something about it, wants Michael to tell him what it is so he can give it to him.

‘What is it?’ he says gently, and holds back the endearment that wants to spill out, absurdly tender. He’s pretty sure it will only make Michael more embarrassed.

Michael sighs again, very soft, and glances away. ‘No, it’s nothing,’ he says.

Adam’s pretty sure it’s not nothing, but he doesn’t press. They have all the time in the world, after all, and he has cookies to bake for them. Michael will come out with it eventually.

***

Except Michael doesn’t come out with it, and it keeps happening, and Adam is honestly starting to worry. They’ll be together, and happy, so happy – he knows Michael is happy, can feel it in the grace that’s constantly twined around his soul. They’ll be kissing, or snuggling, or making love, and it will be a perfect moment, the kind of moment that makes everything worth it, like a warm soft blanket to lose yourself in.

And then suddenly Michael will be looking all wistful, like a sad little puppy wanting a morsel, and disappointed, and Adam is beginning to really, really not like that at all.

He’s tried everything – more kisses, cuddling, even that one thing that Michael really likes during sex but gets incredibly flustered and blushy over, so Adam saves for special occasions. And Michael loves it all, he really does, Adam can feel it, but none of it manages to soothe that particular, wistful little ache in his grace.

When he was small, and he’d had a problem, or felt bad, or unhappy, or guilty, Mum had always managed to coax it out of him eventually. She would sit him on the couch and give him a glass of milk, and tell him that it was always better to talk things out, not hold them inside of you till they hurt. Bad feelings were like appendicitis, she’d say, they’d make you very sick if you left them inside.

Adam thinks Michael has the equivalent of emotional appendicitis at the moment, honestly, and he’s pretty sure he needs to do something to fix that.

***

When Adam comes to find him, Michael is sitting at their kitchen table, inspecting a small pile of rocks. Months ago, he’d read a magazine article about gemstone tumbling, and then read it again, and again, and again, until the pages were dog-eared and Adam couldn’t help but notice. So he’d gone online and bought him a little tumbling kit on Ebay, as a surprise, and Michael had been hugely and gratifyingly pleased about it. Now every time they go for a walk, he comes home with his pockets full of bits of quartz and such, and their house is filled with shiny little piles of gems, like some kind of dragon’s hoard.

(‘It reminds me of creating planets,’ he tells Adam once, softly. ‘I used to polish them until they were so beautiful and round.’)

Now, he looks up as Adam comes up behind him, leaning his head back against Adam’s stomach as Adam slides his arms over his shoulders. Adam kisses his ear. ‘Hey, you,’ he says. ‘You got a moment?’

‘Of course,’ Michael says immediately, at attention. ‘What do you need, Adam?’

‘Just you,’ Adam says, and gives his shoulders a little squeeze before pulling out the chair next to Michael’s and sitting down, swivelling towards him. Michael puts down the rock he’d been inspecting and turns to face him, the full force of his attention directed onto Adam’s face.

‘Okay,’ Adam says, and reaches out to take Michael’s hands in his own, squeezing. ‘I need to talk to you about something, Michael – oh, no, don’t look at me like that,’ he breaks off, running a comforting thumb over Michael’s knuckles. ‘It’s nothing bad.’

Michael nods, still looking rather worried.

Adam decides to get it over with. ‘Look, I’ve noticed that there’s something bothering you,’ he says gently. ‘Something that you want, that you’re not telling me. I can feel it in your grace – like last night, when we were falling asleep, and when I made cookies, and other times, too.’ He squeezes Michael’s hands again, reassuring. ‘Remember – back down there – how we agreed to talk to each other if anything bothered us? This is like that, okay?’

Michael looks stricken. ‘Oh,’ he says in a small voice. ‘Oh. I didn’t – it really isn’t anything worth your time – ’

‘Oh, sweetheart,’ Adam says softly, because he can’t help it, ‘of course it is, it always is – ’

And suddenly, bizarrely, Michael’s grace is going wild, elated, looping and twining, wrapping around his soul with little, soft, shuddering ripples of happiness. He looks as though he’s about one step from breaking down, swaying a little towards Adam with his eyes shiny and his lips a little unsteady.

Okay, what?

‘Okay, what?’ Adam says, and reaches out to touch his face. ‘Michael, what was that? What happened? That was it, wasn’t it?’

Michael swallows, his grace still buzzing with happiness, turning his face into Adam’s touch. ‘You said it again,’ he says, closing his eyes for a moment like he’s basking in Adam’s warmth.

‘Said what?’ Adam says – and, ‘wait, ‘sweetheart’?’ His heart feels like it’s melting. ‘That was all you wanted? For me to call you pet names?’

Michael is going pink now, avoiding his eyes. ‘You must think I’m foolish,’ he mumbles.

‘Of course I don’t,’ Adam says, overwhelmed with sheer fondness. ‘Well, maybe just a little bit, for not just telling me, honestly.’ He knuckles gently at the corner of Michael’s eye, and it actually comes away a little damp. ‘Oh, sweetheart,’ he says, knowing he sounds ridiculously tender, and that pulse of sheer bright happiness ripples through Michael again, through his grace.

‘It was the first thing you said,’ Michael says softly. ‘When you brought me back. My name, Michael, and – and you called me that. And I asked about it, and you kissed me and I was happy, but you never said it again. I,’ he swallows. ‘I don’t know why I. I wanted you to say it.’

‘Okay, you need to come here right now,’ Adam says, and climbs directly into his lap. He brings his hands up to hold Michael’s face, looking down at him. ‘Fuck, I love you,’ he says helplessly, and Michael’s whole face twitches, his hands coming up instinctively to fit at the small of Adam’s back.

‘I love you too,’ he says immediately, honestly. ‘Adam.’

‘Yeah?’

‘I – would like it if you said it again, please.’

‘Yeah, sweetheart, okay,’ Adam murmurs against his lips. ‘I’m never going to stop.’

[let-me-love-you-loki]

Dating Too Late (Matt & Nick)

Matt

           I couldn’t get off the plane fast enough. We’d been stuck on it for fourteen hours, but it felt so much longer. I’d slept the first few hours since we’d had to go pretty much straight from the venue to the airport. Lucky for our fellow travelers that we had just enough time to take a shower before we left. Otherwise, they would have been more eager to get away from us than I was to get away from them.

           My fingers tapped the armrest. I craned my neck, waiting anxiously, desperately. I’d never been this anxious in my life.

           “Dude, calm down,” Nick said, setting the flat of his palm against my chest. He did that sometimes before matches when I couldn’t get into my headspace. “You’re going to give yourself a heart attack.”

           “I haven’t seen Y/N in a month,” I replied, bouncing my leg. After a moment, I took a deep breath. “I miss her. Like she’s the anchor in this whole crazy world.”

           Nick nodded and leaned back in his seat. Something drifted over his face, but I didn’t catch what it was. “She’ll be there waiting. She always is.”

           He was right, and the thought made me smile. It seemed like no time at all had passed since that day in LAX when Y/N and Nick got their luggage switched. I could still remember seeing her standing by the information desk, Nick’s hardcase at her feet. I’d never forget the first time I saw her face and heard her voice. She’d taken by breath then, and had been doing it every day for almost a year.

           The plane settled into the gate, and the pilot turned off the seatbelt light. I had to force myself not to jump straight up and race into the airport. There was no point in running ahead when I would spend just as much time in customs and baggage claim than if I acted like a normal human being. My heart picked up as I reminded myself how close I was to seeing the girl of my dreams again.

Nick

           I stayed three steps behind my brother as we dragged our bags up the escalator onto the concourse. I watched him as his head swiveled, looking for Y/N. His whole body was tense, and I knew he wouldn’t really relax until he saw her again.

           LAX was always easier to get through, fewer people knew or recognized us. In Japan, we often had to get to the airport two hours or earlier before our actual departure time. Fans would line up or cluster around us wanting a picture or an autograph. Most of the time, it didn’t bother us. The more people who knew who we were—the more fans we had—the more tickets and merch we sold, the more shows we could do, the faster we were able to make the life for ourselves at home that we wanted.

           I knew the moment when Matt caught sight of Y/N. His whole body changed. His shoulders relaxed, confidence settled into his steps. I walked a little faster, feeling sick at myself that I couldn’t wait to see her either.

           Y/N sat on a bench beneath a swath of bright California sun blazing through the overhead glass. She looked so beautiful that it was like a punch in the gut. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail, sunglasses perched on the top of her head. She was focused on her phone as she waited, so she didn’t see us coming.

           For a moment, Matt stopped and just watched her. I did the same, feeling guilty with every glance. I knew he was holding himself back from racing toward her. He was waiting for her to look up. He wanted to see that look on her face when she saw him.

           As if she knew he was there, her head tipped up. Her eyes scanned for an instant before they locked onto him. She shoved her phone into her pocket and jumped up. She took off running toward Matt, her glasses shifting, sliding down her back and smacking into the floor. But I knew her well enough by now to know she didn’t care.

           The only thing that mattered to her was Matt, and he was racing toward her as well. A faint twinge of sadness and jealousy settled into my gut as they crashed into one another. Y/N jumped and threw her arms around his neck. Matt wrapped his arms around her back, picking her up from the floor, hugging her tightly as she hooked her legs over his hips.

           I turned away. It wasn’t my moment to watch.

Matt

           The moment I held her in my arms again, the world felt right. My heart slowed into it’s normal rhythm. If everything in my world ended right then, I wouldn’t care. Being with Y/N was enough.

           I buried my face in the curve of her neck and breathed in the scent of her. It was like sunshine and the sweet softness of cherry blossoms. My fingers curled around the back of her neck, cradling her so close she probably couldn’t breathe.

           “I’ve missed you,” I said, hearing the desperation in my own voice. “God, I’ve missed you so much.”

           She nestled her face in the crook of my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut to try to stop the tears that welled up. Holding her was like holding the most beautiful and precious thing in the whole universe. I wanted nothing more than what I had in that exact moment.

           “Matt,” she whispered. The sound of her voice saying my name made my heart skip a beat. “I’m so glad you’re home safe.”

           I sat her on her feet and cradled her face in my hands. She smiled, her eyes lighting up. The moment our lips met, the whole world stopped spinning. Nothing else existed. It was just the two of us. I loved her more desperately than I could ever imagine.

           She laughed as we parted, the sound so happy and peaceful that it ran through my body like gold and lightning. I kissed her again playfully before she peeked around my shoulder. I turned with her, knowing exactly who she was looking for.

           Nick stood several feet away, his suitcase at his feet. He’d pulled up the hood of his sweatshirt and was staring down at his phone. It was clear that he was trying to avoid looking at us. He was doing his best to give us privacy. He didn’t have to, and he knew it. But he did it anyway.

           I watched Y/N grin as she darted around me. Nick looked up just in time to catch her as she threw herself into him. He grabbed her up into a hug with a surprised and excited yelp.

Nick

           Elation raced through me when Y/N ran at me with her arms open. She was beautiful and happy and I couldn’t help but grin back at her. I hugged her tightly, allowing myself half a moment to breathe in the scent of her and the memories that came with it. She was Matt’s girlfriend—the absolute love of his life—but I was lucky enough to be her friend.

           “You have paint on your neck,” I said by way of greeting. I was more often than not the one who noticed things like that. Matt was too busy getting completely lost in being near her to see the minute details. But I drank in the sight of her with deliberate precision, almost as if I’d never see her again. “Did you come straight from the studio?”

           She laughed and wrapped her fingers around my wrist. I let her tug me toward Matt, dragging my suitcase behind me. “I actually had a commission!” she replied excitedly. “I finished the sketch a couple days ago, and I started doing the broad strokes today.”

           I grinned. “I can’t wait to see it!”

           “Come on you two,” Matt teased, smiling at the two of us. “I’m starving, and I’ve been craving Black Bear Diner.”

           He reached out his hand and Y/N took it. She kept her fingers wrapped around my wrist, pulling me along behind them. “My car is in the metered spots just outside. We can get out of here fast.”

           My brother looked back, his gaze shifting from his girlfriend to me. “Isn’t she amazing? She takes such good care of us.”

           For a moment, my heart jumped up and got caught in my throat. It felt like my chest was ripping in two. When she turned back, her eyes alight and a soft smile on her face, the pain knitted over, leaving a rigid scar behind. I forced myself to grin.

           “Yeah, she is.”

Tag List

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[favefandomimagines]

Soul Surfer 7

AN: here we go!! chapter 7 for you beautiful people!

ALSO: you can now add yourself to the tag list!! if it’ll let me tag more people! tumblr is being difficult!

Violet saw it as a miracle that her mother decided to stay in some fancy hotel on Figure 8. She chalked it up to her mother having more money since she never had to pay child support. She couldn’t handle both JJ and her mom at the same time.

“Why is she still here? Isn’t it, I don’t know, illegal or something?” Violet said to her brother. “I don’t know, Vi. Why don’t you call up a lawyer and ask?” Nick sassed.

Violet shot Nick a glare as their father walked in, the conversation coming to an end. Rob looked at his children with a strange look, the two acting a bit suspicious.

“So dad, how many orders do we have today?” Violet asked. “Way more than I’d like, which is why I recruited some help.” Rob answered. “Who?” Violet asked. “JJ.” The man answered.

Nick attempted to stifle a laugh as he nearly choked on the orange juice he was drinking. “Dad, why?” Violet questioned. “Because you two need to work things out. You care about him, he cares about you. So try to fix it.” Rob explained.

Violet looked at him before he groaned. “He’ll be here in five.” Her dad said as he left the room.

The brunette rolled her eyes before stomping outside on to the porch. When she did, she saw her dad talking to the blonde teenager.

“You can do this, Vi. Just get through the day.” She told herself. Violet approached the two, instantly feeling JJ’s eyes on her.

Rob gave the two instructions on which orders needed to be done first and which ones could wait. For a couple of hours, the three completed orders, Violet and her dad talking about who made the women’s surfing world’s team.

JJ watched the girl as she talked, the tightness in his chest worsening the longer he watched and listened to her.

After a while, Violet went inside, leaving Rob and JJ alone. Rob may have been meddling in his daughter’s love life but JJ made her happy and that’s all he wanted for Violet.

“She hates me.” JJ said, breaking the silence. “She doesn’t hate you. You two just need to talk through things. With her mother in town, it’s just not a good time for her and she needs you and your friends.” Rob said.

JJ sighed as he continued to wax a finished board, when Violet came back outside.

“I uh, I have to go file that paperwork with Nick. I’ll be back in a couple hours. You two have fun.” Rob said.

Violet paused momentarily, mentally cursing her father for leaving her alone with JJ.

The pair sat in an awkward silence, something they haven’t experienced with each other before. Usually they had trouble not shutting up when they were together.

“So,” JJ started. Violet glared at him through her eyelashes, the look making his chest hurt.

“Violet, can we please talk? Civilly?” He asked. Violet set a bar of wax down and looked up at JJ waiting for him to continue.

“I’m so sorry. I fucked up and I know that and I hate that I hurt you because I never wanted to hurt you. And I don’t want to do that again.” He said.

The brunette was quiet for a moment and nine times out of ten, that wasn’t a good sign.

“I didn’t even tell Kie or Sarah about my mom. I told you because I trusted you. I could have easily lied to you but I trusted you and felt like you deserved to know. But then not only did you tell everyone while yelling at me, but you used it to hurt me when you were the one who attacked Rafe.” Violet started.

She could see JJ was about to make a rebuttal so she quickly cut him off.

“And I know you were trying to defend me and that you had good intentions but you completely turned that anger onto me and that’s not fair. I don’t know what it is that gets you so angry but-” Violet said. “It’s my dad.” He interrupted her.

“What?” Violet questioned. “My dad is the reason I get so mad.” He explained. JJ walked towards the girl and lifted his shirt, revealing three purple bruises on his abdomen.

Violet’s face fell at the sight, all anger quickly dissipating.

“When he drinks he gets mad and when he gets mad, he takes it out on me. That night when I saw Rafe, I got into a fight with my dad four hours before. Rafe was just the scapegoat I guess.” JJ said.

“JJ,” Violet started. He quickly put his shirt back down and stepped back a bit.

“I didn’t tell you this because I wanted you to feel bad for me. I told you because I trust you, Vi.. And I hope you can trust me again.” He said.

Once again, Violet was quiet and JJ assumed the worst. That was until she walked towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry for pushing you away.” She whispered. JJ held on to her tighter when he felt his shirt grow damp and felt Violet’s body shake slightly.

He broke the embrace and cupped her face in his hands. “Hey, don’t cry pretty girl.” He said softly, using the pad of his thumb to wipe the tears off her face.

“If I wasn’t so stubborn you wouldn't have to go back home and you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.” She said quietly. “You wouldn’t be Violet Elliot if you weren’t stubborn.” JJ told her. Violet looked down at her feet, still feeling guilty for what happened.

“Everything’s okay now, right.” JJ asked. “I don’t think anything will ever be okay with my mom in town.” Violet replied.

JJ looked down at the girl, wishing he could take her away from what was upsetting her.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” He asked. “What? We can’t, we have work.” Violet said. “We finished the whole list your dad gave us. We can take a break. You need a break. At least for a little while.” The blonde told her.

Violet looked from JJ to one of the finished surfboards. She looked back up at JJ before giving in.

“Okay fine. Where are we going?” She asked. JJ’s smile grew as he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards his motorbike.

“We’re going on a boat ride. Just the two of us.” He answered. Violet furrowed her eyebrows but got on the back of the bike anyways.

__

They arrived at John B’s, JJ knowing where his best friend kept the spare keys to the HMS Pogue.

“Are you sure John B won’t mind us taking the boat?” Violet asked. JJ was pulling her excitedly towards the dock. He hadn’t been able to spend time with Violet alone in three weeks, maybe longer.

“He’s with Sarah on Ward’s fancy yacht. Trust me, he won’t care.” JJ replied.

The blonde boy helped Violet on to the boat and he wasted no time getting the boat going. He took them to the marsh, the Pogue’s usual hangout spot and tossed in the anchor.

Violet sat on the edge, her feet dangling over the side. JJ moved to sit closer to her, his eyes trained on her.

“I missed you.” The brunette spoke. “I probably shouldn’t have but I did. I’ve been here over a month and I already don’t know what a day without you is like.” She added. “I missed you too. You have no idea. I wanted nothing more than to climb up to your window when I needed you.” JJ replied.

The two looked at each other, both of them leaning closer. Violet wasn’t scared to kiss JJ, it was quite the opposite but the opportunity to push JJ in the water was presenting itself.

The brunette placed a hand on his bicep and pushed him over the side of the boat and into the water.

When JJ resurfaced, Violet was laughing so hard she nearly toppled over. “Oh you think you’re funny?” JJ asked, swimming towards her. “Oh I think I’m hilarious.” Violet replied.

JJ nodded his head before he grabbed Violet’s ankle, pulling her in the water with him. The girl resurfaced and instantly splashed JJ. “That was rude.” She commented. “Now you know how it feels.” JJ replied.

The two subconsciously swam closer to each other as they were treading water. “Hey, Vi?” JJ questioned. “What’s up?” She asked him.

The blonde boy brought a hand up and rested it on the side of her face as he looked at her.

“I really like you. And I’m not good with stuff like this. I don’t know how to act or what the right thing to say is. Before you, I didn’t want a relationship. Especially after seeing what happened with my parents. But, then I decided I do want that. With you.” JJ confessed.

The brunette looked at him for a moment before she quickly and deeply pressed her lips against his. JJ was shocked at first, not expecting Violet to make the first move but he soon quickly kissed her back. It was something the two had been waiting for for a while. And it was everything they thought it would be and more.

They pulled apart slowly, JJ waiting for Violet to say something back.

“I want that with you too, JJ. I’ve just been waiting for you to do something about it.” She said with a small laugh. “So you were waiting on me?” He asked. “Well, duh.” She replied.

He smiled down at her before he kissed her again. The two were soon interrupted by the distant sound of a phone ringing back on the boat. JJ groaned, not wanting to leave that moment and go back to the real world.

“That’s probably John B. Wondering who stole his boat.” Violet joked. JJ frowned before they both swam back to the boat. JJ got on first and pulled Violet on after him.

JJ’s phone was still ringing when they got on board and he answered it, quite annoyed.

“What?” He asked. “Dude, where’d you take the boat?” John B asked. “I’m with Violet.” JJ answered, putting the phone on speaker. Violet assumed John B did the same because she soon got a text from Sarah.

Sarah: what happened?!

Vi: we kissed

The two could hear Sarah scream on the other end of the line. JJ looked at Violet, knowing she was the cause of Sarah’s reaction. John B started rambling questions to JJ before Violet took the phone.

“Okay, by!” She said into the phone before quickly hanging up. “Why’d you do that?” JJ laughed. “Let’s not have John B ruin this moment.” She answered.

The blonde smiled as he pulled her into him. Of course they’ve hugged before but this time there was a different meaning behind it now.

“Do we have to go back?” Violet asked. “He’s gonna need his boat back eventually.” JJ answered. “But going back means facing my mother.” She said. “Do you think she’ll stay long?” JJ asked her. “God knows.” Violet muttered.

After a few more minutes, Violet and JJ decided to head back to John B’s. Hoping to use the ride back to talk about the new meaning of their relationship.

“JJ, can I ask you something?” Violet asked. “Of course you can.” He said. “What are we now?” She questioned. “You told me you wanted a relationship with me, I kissed you, now what?” She added.

JJ was quiet for a moment, and decided to take a leap of faith. “I want to be with you, Vi. I want us to be together.” He answered. “Really?” Violet asked. “Of course. Plus, I beat Rafe at something.” JJ said with a smirk.

Violet laughed and pushed him slightly at his words. “What? It’s true! I beat Rafe at something and I can’t wait to shove it in his face that I got the girl and he didn’t.” JJ commented.

“Boys are stupid.” Violet laughed. Once again, JJ smiled at her, feeling like he did when they hung out for the first time.

Just as they passed the docks that lined the coast of Figure 8, JJ noticed Violet’s mom was talking to Ward on the dock.

“Why is your mom talking to Ward Cameron?” JJ asked. Violet looked in that direction and saw what JJ was looking at. “I have no idea.” Violet sneered. “They’re both terrible people so it doesn’t surprise me that they herd together.” She added.

“Ward knows a lot of lawyers. Do you think she could be trying to get her rights back?” JJ asked. “She can’t even have contact with me until I’m 18 when I’m a legal adult. No lawyer will risk their reputation to cover for a woman who broke the law.” Violet explained. “God I hate that woman.” She muttered.

JJ gripped her hand tightly seeing the topic of her mother had a pattern of setting her off.

“Hey, everything’s gonna be fine.” He told her. “God, I hope you’re right. Everything’s finally going right, I don’t need my mother ruining it.” She replied.

JJ looked down at Violet, thinking of a way to make Violet happy. And the only way he could think of that’ll do that, is if her mother leaves the Outer Banks for good.

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