#but i was too proud to admit that and felt pressured by how popular the fic got to make more

[magnetic-dogz]

If I ever went back to Level Up/Magnitomb and did the story differently I think the big thing I'd do is just cut the story off where the game would have originally ended because I think not doing that in hindsight was. A bad idea

[elisysd]

15. Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'cause I've built my life around you

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Landslide - Fleetwood Mac

You were a bundle of nerves, barely able to sleep that night, too busy mentally preparing scenarios about all the ways meeting Charles’ family could go wrong. You hadn’t even dared to move during the night, scared of waking up your boyfriend who was sound asleep by your side. He needed every bit of sleep he could get. So, as soon as the sun had started to rise, you had left the bed and gone on a run along the harbor, enjoying the peace and quiet there.

It  felt nice to be able to sort out your thoughts on your own, trying to find a sense of belonging, a new purpose in life, but you couldn't shake off the feeling of failure. It was a tough pill to swallow. You knew it was your fault, you knew that you shouldn’t have told your boss about your affair with Charles as soon as the first sparks started to ignite between the both of you. You had been a coward, you had been scared to lose everything but in the end, it had happened. Now, you didn’t know where life would take you but also, for the first time in your life you had the opportunity to do things for yourself without the pressure of a lingering promise or without feeling the need to make your parents proud. You could do something for you. You just needed to find what it would be.

When you came back home an hour later, you were surprised to see Charles attempting to prepare breakfast even if the kitchen was looking like a warfield. Pancakes’ batter was spread on the counter but it didn’t prevent Charles to casually smile at you, unbothered by the mess around him.

“I missed you in bed this morning.”

“I woke up early and decided to go on a run.” you explained as you poured yourself a glass of water.

“We could have gone together.”

“I needed to clear my mind. Between my job, or more the lack of, and our relationship made public and now how I’m going to meet your family in less than two hours… It's a lot.” you sighed, sitting on a chair as he handed you a plate of fluffy pancakes, something you weren’t expecting considering the mess in the kitchen, a cup of fruit and a freshly brewed coffee. “I’m scared. I’m terrified, even.”

“Why?”

“What if your mom doesn’t like me? What if your family doesn’t accept me? Because after all, why would they when my own family is rejecting me and pretending I don’t exist….” you gulped, feeling tears prickling behind your eyelids, making you look away. It hurt to admit it out loud and you suddenly felt very stupid.

“Y/N…” he kneeled in front of you, taking your hands in his. “My family is not like yours, thankfully. They just want to see me happy and guess what? You make me very happy. That’s all that matters to them.”

You nodded, unable to find the right words to express how much you needed to hear these words. But still, you were barely able to eat anything and when you finally left for the yacht, your legs were nothing but jelly.

Charles briefly stopped at a grocery store to pick up some food while you were waiting for him in the car. You quickly noticed the army of fans who were waiting for him and you watched him taking his time to sign caps and take pictures with everyone. You gulped. How could you have ever thought he was not genuine? You barely noticed people taking pictures of you inside the car, too focused on your boyfriend. 

“Hey, mister popular.” you smiled when he came back inside the car, a sheepish smile on his face.

“Sorry… I didn’t think we would get noticed so easily.”

“I suppose I have to get used to that.”

“I’m sorry.” he linked his fingers to yours and drove away from the crowd.

When you arrived at his yacht, you were glad to notice you were the only ones. You helped Charles prepare everything until Charles saw his older brother and his girlfriend arriving, followed by Arthur and Carla as well as Pascale, Charles’ mom. Charles went to greet them, not noticing how your body froze and your breathing became more and more shallow. You gripped to the first chair you found, trying to calm yourself down and praying to not faint in front of them. You closed your eyes, your ears ringing and gulped. It was hot outside, too hot and you barely heard Charles’ voice calling for you before you felt your eyes rolling backwards, your body doing the same.

Waking up, you expected to see the worried face of your boyfriend but instead, it was his mom who was looking at you, a towel soaked in icy water on your forehead. You were inside the yacht, away from the sun and the noise. You could hear muffled voices on the outside. You didn’t know what to say, words begging to come out of your mouth but you didn’t know where to begin. What an amazing first impression you had made. Sensing your distress, pascale put her hand on yours, squeezing it gently.

“You scared everyone out there, darling. How are you feeling? Do you need anything? Water? My son?” she smiled.

“This is not how I planned to meet you…” you stuttered, your voice sore.

“It’s a first meeting to remember for sure. I’m glad you’re okay. Charles told me a lot of things about you.”

“I’m sorry.” you apologized, thinking about how you had treated Charles at first and being sure that his mom knew. “I wasn’t the nicest with your son.”

“Don’t apologize. It makes me happy that not everyone treats him like a god. It’s good for his ego.” she winked. “Of course when he told me you were a journalist I got scared but I'm not one to judge without getting to know you first. and I trust my son… he loves you a lot. ”

“I love him a lot too.”

“I know. No one would make the choice of putting their career at risk for someone if they had no real feelings for them. That's how I know Charles is between good hands, in a happy, loving and healthy relationship. That’s all I want for him.”

She put her hand on your cheek, removing a strand of hair and putting it behind your ear. It wasn’t much, but it had been so long since someone had acted so motherly around you that it was enough to make you cry.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to overstep.”

“You didn’t.” you quickly reassured her. “It’s just… I’m not used to people being affectionate around me.” you briefly explained.

Pascale gave you a tender smile before leaving you to rest. You felt bad about sleeping for a good part of the afternoon while Charles was having fun with his family but around dinner you were feeling much better. You took a deep breath and went out seeing Lorenzo and Pascale preparing the table. You slowly approached as the mother saw you and gave you a big smile.

“Can I do something?” you asked.

“You can sit, we’re done with it.” Pascale replied.

“And I don’t think my brother would appreciate us making you work. I’m Lorenzo, by the way. We didn’t have time to meet.” you saw a glimpse of playfulness in his eyes that made you blush.

Thankfully you didn’t have time to add anything as Charles was walking to you, embracing you, a hand on your cheek, checking for the slightest sign of you being weak or in pain.

“Im’ okay, Charles.” you smiled.

“You sure? How is your head? You tell me if you don't feel good, alright?”

You nodded before kissing him as Arthur, Carla and Charlotte were coming in your directions. As dinner progressed and laughter filled the table, you couldn’t help but notice how they were all close to each other. There was so much love there that it made you think about your own family. You looked down on your fingers and apologized, pretending to need to go to the bathroom. You locked yourself in and looked at your reflection in the mirror. You couldn’t help but feeling like an intruder in this family, you weren’t fitting. And that hurt you so much. You heard a few knocks and Charles’ voice outside. You sprayed some water on your face, to try to make you feel more alive and opened the door.

“You’ve been in there for the past fifteen minutes… I was starting to get worried.”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you?”

It’s just… It’s very stupid. I wasn’t expecting your family to be this… family oriented? It just showed me what a family is supposed to look like and it hit home a bit too close. And it’s not your fault. It’s just a reminder of what I will never have and I wasn’t ready to face it. Luc's death broke my family apart when your dad’s death only brought yours closer. I guess… I’m jealous and sad.”

“I understand you and I didn’t think you could feel like that. I’m sorry.”

“I wasn't expected it either.”

“You know… we can be your new family. I you want.”

Your ride back to the apartment was made in silence. You were tired and despite your little fainting, you had a nice evening. Your conversation with Charles had helped you making you feel less awkward and more at ease around his brothers and mother. You had fun. You even exchanged phone numbers with Carla and Charlotte promising to meet someday soon for a coffee or a shopping session. When Charles finally parked his car and as you were about to leave, he stopped you.

“Do you want to come to Zandvoort with me?” he blurted out, avoiding your gaze and you were almost sure he was blushing.

You bit your lower lip, hesitating.

“It’s going to be weird for me to be in the paddock without a media badge… And that would mean that it would be our first official outing as a couple. It would make things really official.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No… it’s just scary. But at the same time, it would be wrong of me to say that I don’t want to have access to the Ferrari’s hospitality and garage the way I want to.” you cheekily added, making him laugh.

“As long as you promise me to not snoop around.”

“You are asking a lot from me.” 

Being on a race weekend without your team, without any interviews to prepare, without your laptop was a foreign feeling, something you were not used to anymore. It was also making you vulnerable, you were not in control of the situation anymore, you had to match your pace to Charles’. You didn’t want to be considered as Charles’ puppy who would follow him around because you had nothing better to do. You were scared to feel bored and out of place, you didn’t want to sit around and wait for him. You wanted to feel useful.

“I promise you, we will find you something to do. Meanwhile, I have a gift for you.” he said, awkwardly standing in front of you.

“Charles… why?”

“Because I wanted to. And because I know that these past few weeks have been tough on you and I just want you to feel loved and cared for…”

“You don’t need to give me anything, I know you love me, you don’t need to prove to me anything.”

“I want to.” he replied, fumbling in his pocket to retrieve a jewelry box and handing it to you. You took it, noticing the blush on his face spreading to his neck. Opening it you almost gasped. It was a thin silver necklace, delicate and simple with the number sixteen made of tiny little diamonds. 

“Charles… gosh, it’s beautiful. But… you really shouldn't have…”

“I know but…I wanted you to have something from me when I wasn’t around, so you know that even if I am not right next to you, I’m still with you. It’s cheesy…”

“It’s not. It’s sweet. Can you put it on me?”

You felt his hands shaking around your neck as he placed the jewel around you.

“It’s really beautiful.” you said as he kissed the back of your head, telling you they had to go for the first free practice of the session.

She could see the crowd waiting for Charles to get out of the car, making her gulp and second guessing her decision to follow him.

“I can come back later if you don’t want to attract the attention more than necessary…”

“I don’t want to hide you. Not anymore.” he simply said. “Do you trust me?”

“More than anyone else.”

He nodded and got out of the car before quickly coming to your door to open it and handed his hand for you to take. His grip was firm and you knew that you didn’t have to worry. So, you took a deep breath and you chin high, you walked right next to him as flashes from cameras almost blinded you and screams from the fans were almost making you deaf. But you wouldn’t back down. You were ready. 

Author's note: What a pole, what a qualifying session it has been! I'm so happy so let's celerate with this chapter! Daghe Charles!

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[ewesless]

My humble answer is...

I LOVE IT.

(Romance-y stuff first then the section below that is…other activities)

Content Warning for any other readers: Canon x Canon, Crossdressing, BDSM Dynamics, tons and tons of personal interpretations and almost a fic outline

MY FRIEND, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??

At first glance someone might think, "They're too unalike, they have no common interests. Barbatos is too cool for him and Levi hates him because he's successful, confident and widely respected." And one would be wrong!! The main things they have in common are Gaming, Sewing, Creating Artwork and Cooking (in that order only because Levi's still a hobbyist and Barbatos's love of baking and cooking is on par with Levi's fanatical love of Ruri-chan.)

Barbatos may not be into watching anime or reading manga, but he buys merch for Diavolo and is supportive of a substantial number of things Diavolo does (which extends to Levi hehehe) but he is a major gamer. In two different events (Cyber and Smash Devils) and in a variety of OM daily chats he games with Levi as well as plays his recommended games (and Levia-chan gets his little scaly ass handed to him when they play!)

One of my favorite scenarios for them developing into a couple is that Levi finds out what an awesome sewist he is (HDD 2021 card "An Amazing Outfit for You" and Belphie's Plushie card are two examples) and is awestruck. "PLEASE teach me your techniques! What is your secret?!?" But Barbatos doesn't just teach him, he makes him things too! Costumes, does his Makeup, Props, plushies and food replication!

I headcanon that Barbatos takes Diavolo and Leviathan to conventions too, they could absolutely group cosplay. Barbatos is a gamer so we know they already chat and hang out online, and Barbatos has been to his room multiple times now so it's not implausible that they'd like to hang out 1 on 1 too. (In Otaku Podcast Mini Barbatos scares the shit out of him by how familiar he mades himself with Levi's room and the secret box he has) If LEVI lets someone not just touch his things and explore them (oop lol that sounds….) but lets him rearrange his things and even advise him on what to do about them you know that is some deep, deep, trust and approval. He admires him a lot too, he experiences jealousy and idolizes him too so we know that Levi already has strong feelings about him!!

I think that whenever Barbatos would show him approval or acknowledgement it would direct hit something deep inside him that is painfully wounded and mend a little crack in his heart. I think Levi needs to impress others, but won't admit it. He's too caught up in the "normies can kick rocks! Get rekt! I don't care what those people think!" but he obviously felt the pressure of Barbatos's expectations to a degree near that of Lucifer's because he was almost in tears from the stress of working with them (he chose them!) during Luke's Birthday in 2022. So I think making him proud of him or surpassing his expectations (Shrodinger's High/Low expectations lol) would be important to him. I don't really read Levi's (or anyone else's) romantic options and don't go out of my way to read his cards, so this is mostly based off of my interpretations from events and storylines. I don't feel confident in my characterization either. Somebody is going to hate on me for that some day. I can feel it.

Oh, but back to the topic. So they start hanging out in order to do sewing and that leads to talking about all kinds of things and warming up more. Levi is like, "Wait what?? You mean…he's not as intimidating and far above us as I thought???" Barbatos cooks for him whenever he gets hungry or has already prepared bentos and other anime themed foods and teaches him how to recreate/copycat for him too. So as they bond Levi accepts that he really is a friend of his and not just his big brother's coworker/the Royal Butler/Popular Guy and humoring him. He subtly starts to tell him about his interest in crossplaying too (Legendary Dame, HELLO~) and while that's not really something Levi HIDES (he did) that Barbatos responds positively and supportively (Diavolo too, he cosplayed RURI and Barbatos cosplayed Azuki-tan in support and to show their appreciation for Levi and his interests in the S2 Anime!)

So Levi dresses up and is all blushy and nervous and feeling excited and happy because he's just so COOL about this!? AND GIVES MAKEUP ADVICE THAT EVEN ASMO HADN'T KNOW??? (Dame card) And the first thing Barbatos does is tells him he looks cute and wears it well, he compliments his dress and makeup! (Or beautiful, depends on whether he's in a magical girl outfit or if he's cosplaying someone elegant like the Kuudere Elf Queen Seraphina)

So after this, one thing leads to another and Barbatos crossplays with him (He self vowed that Legendary Dame was never again, but I am going to just say that that doesn't mean he's banned from other elegant femme attire) Levi doki-dokis like crazy! So now he's down bad for Lady!Barbatos, "B-but that's just because of the character he's portraying, right?? I don't have a crush on my big brother's co-worker/the Royal Butler/The Popular Guy????"

Barbatos got so excited about sewing for MC and dressing MC up that not once, but twice he gets carried away and starts taking measurements or holding clothes up to their figure (promptly apologizes and then we can't even acknowledge it) So maybe that happens with Levi too and now that Levi has doki-dokis when Barbatos gets that close to him HORMONAL EXPLOSION~. "Ooooookay, that definitely isn't just because of the character he was cosplaying" lols anxiously

Where this goes is going to be non-specific because I love endless possibilities, but definitely gets intimate. Possibly the first time they get frisky is while in cosplay (Levi is like a teenage boy in a 30 year old body, I swear. And then you have Barbatos who pops off with those romantic and suggestive dialogues to tease like WHAAAAAAAT??? So, he would totally egg (lol unintended) him on and turn him into a flustered sweaty mess without even taking his own clothes off.) 70% probability of while couple cosplaying a yuri or yaoi ship, but they go all the way as themselves and after a barrier is overcome (Levi's self-esteem and his doubts about whether the person he's into is ACTUALLY? FOR REAL??? SERIOUS??? You're not just messing with me and going to humiliate me and then gloat about it because I'm a socially awkward otaku loser and you're a hot demon butler whose effortlessly perfect?) So it would be a combination of shame/comfort and hurt/comfort…maybe?

Their first anniversary gift from Barbatos would be a fully custom designed outfit for them to wear, there would be a necklace or other jewelry included in a hidden treasure way and it would have an engraved message on the back/inside along with a handwritten letter. Levi's would be a physical photo album with their cosplay adventures and outings/pilgrimages/foodie tours and one-day vacation photos with sweet notes and memories written on the backs of them. (I'm not very good at this type of romance tbh, but memories and keepsakes are important to them both)

On a side note they have SO MUCH KINK CHEMISTRY. Levi wants to be bullied, humiliated, called names and degraded? Barbatos is absolutely brutal with all of this, and probably has Dacryphilia to some extent (cough MAMMON) He would not be against-- on second thought this part got too explicit. [SNIP]

He would be creative at this in subtle ways, even during normal group conversations, that would leave Levi speechless and doki-doki'ing. On the flipside, Barbatos praises and shows his gratitude in significant ways so this would extend to intimate activities and he is a very attentive lover/dom who anticipates the needs of others so he would give Levi aftercare and approval tailored to each scene, "feed and water" him (Barbatos…why did you word it like that before?) and then tuck him into bed with a goodnight kiss. (Barbatos doesn't stay overnight of course. He has a Diavolo at home to think of after all and Diavolo is prone to mischief and misbehavior when he is away.) He would also discipline him and use a reward system that also subtly helps strengthen Levi's resilience and build his self-esteem.

Since I headcanon they both lay eggs (Barbatos is a salamander dragon Demon and Levi is a snake dragon) if Levi previously didn't go through that as an Angel (due to contrivances on my part) he would definitely be hiding that or in denial and Barbatos is observant as hell. That can lead to anywhere can't it ^^;

Well, now I'm embarrassed and idk how to sign off ;w; Oh wait, yes I do, Ballz! (inside joke)

[herwrittenuniverse]

Happy 1 Year AO3 Anniversary to me!

Yes, I'm that weirdo that remembers the one year anniversary of joining AO3. 23, however, is my favorite number, and it was also the beginning of the school year - I think that's why it's so distinct!

Last year, I was looking to do more things that I love, so I said "fuck it" and decided to post a chapter to a fic I hadn't updated in years and years on a different fanfiction website. A longtime reader/ fanfic author @butterflydreaming-writes-fic contacted me and basically said, "Girl, you gotta get on AO3. It's where it's at!" And one year later, here we are!

Here are some totals for you...

Of course, I know some other authors have higher stats then me, and that's okay. I'm proud that in just a year, I've accumulated over 1000 kudos, over 200 bookmarks, and over 21,000 hits. It's very gratifying.

I have 23 stories in total, but not all of them of new. Some are old ones that I reposted from a different website. Out of those 23, 9 are Cardcaptor Sakura, 2 are Final Fantasy VII, and a whopping 12 are of The Dragon Prince (with more to come on the way! I'm in the groove now.)

My most popular story based on hits is Lunation, my interpretation of the reconciliation between Rayla and Callum. I worked the hardest on this fic and am happy to see it still remains at my most popular piece. (Although, some of the shorter, sillier ones from S5 are quickly approaching its numbers, and I admit I will be kind of sad if it's no longer at the top! 😂) On the other end, my least popular is Red Lite, Green Lite, which is a silly little fic about Vincent Valentine going about Midgar trying to get a cigarette. It's quite funny.

The first not-reposted original story was Promises, Promises - a take on Callum's fatal promise to Rayla. ("You have to kill me.") I've never written such an action-packed piece and I am pretty proud of it. Even when rereading it, I still feel the urgent tone that carries itself throughout the story.

My most underrated fic is definitely To Those Who Crossed Over, a weirdly experimental story about how Touya from CCS - a naturally gifted clairvoyant - comes face-to-face with another medium, causing some interesting in-depth insight about Yue. While it's not the norm, it definitely is an interesting read.

In the next year, I would love to post some other fandoms (like RWBY, for example) and perhaps continue/expand on the CCS fic To Love Another. It's a story about Touya coming to terms with who Yukito/Yue are as a person. It is definitely the most quietly popular fic, with no comments but 96 kudos and 18 bookmarks.

Also, I want to simply continue to write. I put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to fanfiction. Character and canon accuracy are important to me, but I am slowly realizing that fanfiction can be whatever you want it to be. And that's the beauty of it.

Remember, fanfiction writers do it for nothing except the love of our fandom. We take time out of our days to pour our hearts into stories for you to read. I'm so grateful to AO3, as the website allows us a safe space to do that. (I always donate when the time comes, and if you read or write on AO3, you should too!)

In the past year, I rebranded and created my online personal as HerWrittenUniverse because I felt like I was entering another era of fandom. In addition, fanfiction has personally opened up so many door for me. It's giving me a healthy way to express my love for a fandom, challenged me to increase my writing skills, and opened up doors to friendships that I never though possible. So thank you to Cris for kicking my butt and getting me on AO3, thank you to my fellow fandom friends for supporting me (and everyone else!), and thank you to the readers. Fanfiction writers create for themselves - but the support is always nice, too!

Cheers to another year on AO3!

[blu-joons]

Age Gap Relationship ~ Choi Jongho

Your head shook as Jongho extended his hand out to you, walking right past him and picking up the brush that was on the table to finish off doing Jongho’s hair. You could feel his eyes on you, trying your best to ignore him, keeping the same straight face as you did around the rest of the members.

“What’s wrong?” He whispered to you, keeping his voice nice and quiet so that no one else around you could hear, “we’re allowed to hold hands if we want to.”

Your head shook, biting down on your bottom lip to try and keep yourself quiet, focusing instead on brushing through his strands of hair and giving it as much volume as you possibly could.

You were keen to try and remain as professional as normal, knowing how observant others were around you. It felt bad enough for you being in a relationship with Jongho, but being the elder, you felt an added pressure to make sure that your relationship didn’t harm anyone else too.

“Is this how it’s going to be?” Jongho asked, staring at you through the reflection of the mirror, “the boys already know that we’re dating, but I’m guessing you’ve not told the other members of staff.”

You were apprehensive to share what was going on, not wanting people to think that you were using Jongho to further yourself. You already had a bit of a reputation for being close with all of the boys, and your relationship with Jongho would only make things worse.

“We can’t not talk about this Y/N,” Jongho reminded you as you walked past him once again to place the hairbrush down, “I’m not doing anything wrong being like this.”

“Can we talk about this when we’re alone, that would be much easier.”

Jongho nodded back at you, standing up from the chair and swapping positions with Seonghwa so that you could fix up his hair for their performance too. As you did so, you kept feeling Jongho’s eyes on you, wearily watching what you were up to.

As soon as you were done though, Jongho reached out for your arm and pulled you out of the dressing room and out to the corridor where there was a lot more privacy.

“Are you embarrassed?” Jongho simply asked you, staring across at you to keep a close eye on your expression. “Do you not want people to know that we’re together? Is it because I’m younger than you, or the fact that you’re older than me? There’s got to be something Y/N.”

The sound of frustration in Jongho’s voice was clear, he wanted to be proud and certainly didn’t want you to feel as if your relationship was something that you didn’t have to be shy about.

“We can’t help the fact that we really like each other,” Jongho calmly tried to remind you.

You knew he had a point, it sounded easy for Jongho to say, but all of the people around you were your friends, professional relations that you didn’t want to stir up any trouble with.

“You see it happen to other people, the older woman gets all sorts of labels put against her, and I don’t want the same thing to happen to me,” you admitted to him.

Jongho smiled weakly back across at you as he slowly began to understand where you were coming from. The two of you had commented before on the reception that the older woman got for dating a younger man, you didn’t want to deal with the attention, and with Jongho’s popularity, you didn’t want to deal with the harshness too.

“It’s easy for you when you won’t get hated,” you added.

“You’re worried about more than just what the people here will think?”

Your head nodded in reply to his question, with Jongho’s fans being at the forefront of your mind. You dreaded to think sometimes about how they would react to you, why they felt that they were better suited for Jongho than you.

“I’m used to being the one in the background.”

“And you still will be,” Jongho assured you, “just because we’re dating doesn’t mean that anything else between us should change.”

Although Jongho wanted to proudly let everyone else know that the two of you were dating, he would never risk people knowing if it put your position with the group at him. Jongho knew all too well how much the boys adored you, and whilst they were happy that you were with Jongho, they didn’t want to leave you from the company too.

“Sometimes I feel guilty for being your girlfriend Jongho.”

His hand stretched out slowly and intertwined in with yours, squeezing you gently and assuring you that he was right there with you.

“Don’t ever feel guilty, I mean it when I tell you that we’ve done nothing wrong.”

The gap between you wasn’t particularly big anyway, with just a few years between the two of you, Jongho certainly felt as if the two of you were harming no one in being together.

It was easy for him to say as the younger though, which Jongho was slowly beginning to understand. You knew that you could do more to make Jongho feel as if you were dating at work, but they were slow steps for you, even if they were quicker for Jongho.

“Even if people have something to say about our relationship, I’d never let it change anything,” Jongho whispered, “especially if any of your colleagues speak up too.”

You smiled appreciatively back across at him, “they’ve always been wary of me, I might have been here two years, but I’m still the newbie. The boys don’t react around them like they do me and everyone is picking up on it too.”

It was the only good thing about your relationship with Jongho, because you were so friendly with all the boys, most people didn’t see anything wrong with your relationship with Jongho, because it seemed so similar to how you acted with the others too.

“I might have to quit to be able to let the two of us be comfortable,” you tried to tell Jongho.

“I’m not letting you lose your spot with us, you’re the best stylist we’ve got,” Jongho shyly chuckled, “and I know that no one else wants you to go too. There’s nothing wrong with falling in love, as long as we’re still respectful of everyone else.”

If Jongho could shut the two of you away and stop anyone else from saying anything about the two of you then he absolutely would. Some negativity was inevitable, but all he wanted to do was wrap you up and keep you away from it.

He was proud to date you, even if other people might not necessarily understand why he was so willing to be so open about being with you.

“You know that I always wanted to date an older woman anyway,” Jongho reminded you, “I quite like getting to tell people that I’m dating someone like you.”

“I bet some people worry that I’m probably going to baby you.”

Jongho’s shoulders shrugged, not caring at all, “I’m not always the best at standing up for myself, but with you, I’m going to do so with everything that I’ve got.”

“Just be careful,” you asked of him, “the last thing that I ever want our relationship to do is get in the way of things for you.”

“And I don’t want it to get in the way for you either. We’re human and we’re together, what else is there for anyone else to say?”

A soft sigh came from you, “you know that so many others will have opinions.”

“Who cares? We’re the only ones that matter.”

---

Masterlist

[golden-barnes]

Plum tarts and red carnations

Pairing: Florist! Bucky Barnes x F! Reader

Summary: Bucky is enamored with one of the employees of the bakery in front of his store.

Category: Fluff

Warning:s some self-doubting thoughts and cursing .

Word count: 2.5k

Author’s note: I have been thinking about this since that one anon and thank you @buckycuddlebuddy because you helped to inspire me further with this. Also think of Bucky as Beefy because I'm a softy for a gentle giant. Comment and reblog pls and thank you!

“Damn Jerry. You’ve been growing nicely. A little bit more, and you will be ready to find a new home, bud.” Bucky whispered to the little sprout he was watering. Bucky loved his morning routine.

Before opening up his shop, he would check on his nursery. Water the plants in his greenhouse, checking them to see how they have grown. He liked talking to them; they never judged him or ignored him. He even named them. Sam would help, too, though he treated it more as a joke.

After checking on the nursery, he would focus on making bouquets and arrangements for the store. Nobody knew he was the one who made those beautiful arrangements, and he liked it.

It was like therapy for him. Matching the flowers and creating bouquets with meaning was a talent Bucky didn’t know he had. By this point, the shop was opened and ready for business.

While preparing a rose bouquet, he saw a woman in an apron running out of the new coffee shop from the table next to the cash register. Oh shit, she’s pretty. He thought. He kept staring at her and forgot the fresh roses next to him, grabbed one carelessly.

“Fuck.” He accidentally pricked his finger with a thorn. He applied pressure to his wounded finger.

“Oh, are you okay, sir?” The pretty woman from the bakery asked. Bucky didn’t notice her entering the shop, and now she was here. Looking disheveled but incredibly beautiful.

“Yeah, happens all the time. What can I help you with?” He said, trying to sound as composed as possible. He could hear Sam’s voice in his head. “Play it cool, Buck.”The woman let out a sigh.

“I’m co-owner of the coffee shop, and it’s our opening day. I was encharged of the decorations, and I ordered some flowers from this other place, but when they got here, they were horrible. Like really bad. And oh god, I’m rambling, but I need a brand new arrangement.” She said all in one breath. Bucky had to fight a smile from appearing. Adorable.

“It’s okay. What colors did you want?” Bucky asked. The woman smiled at him.

“We wanted white and purples. Something simple. But honestly, I know nothing of flowers. I don’t understand why Wanda put me up with this? Now we are late, and I still have to finish decorating the cupcakes.” She explained while Bucky started to search for the flowers in his shop.

“Lilacs, with white peonies and lavender roses, would make a nice bouquet. How does that sound?” Bucky showed her the flowers he was referring to. The woman gasped.

“Oh, they are so pretty! You, sir, are a genius.” She gushed, still looking at the flowers. Bucky felt his cheeks getting red from receiving praise.

“I can bring it to you,” Buckywhispered, afraid that she might not like that idea. “You know, because you still have some stuff to finish, so you can do it, and I’ll bring it to you in less than 10 minutes.” She looked at him and went to hug him. Bucky tensed, not expecting the hug, but soon relaxed.

“You are literally my hero. Just ask for Y/N,” She said, walking towards the exit. “Wait, what’s your name?” She added, opening the door to leave.

“Bucky.” Y/N smiled at him. “See you later, Bucky.”

Bucky has never worked on an arrangement as hard as this one. He was already meticulous, but he really wanted to impress Y/N. Can you blame him? The pretty girl needed his help, and he wanted her to be happy. He even added some baby’s breath and this new white ribbon that had come in for weddings. He was very proud of it but also very nervous.

With a deep breath, Bucky entered the coffee shop. A brunette was at the door, cleaning the tables.

“Sorry, Sir. We are still aren’t open.” She said. Bucky gulped.

“Uhm. I’m looking for Y/N.” He told her; she looked at the flowers in his hands and understood. She yelled for Y/N, who came out of the kitchen with icing on her check, giving him the brightest smile.

“Hey, Bucky! That’s beautiful! How did you make such a pretty arrangement in less than 20 minutes?” She grabbed the vase out of his hands and set it on the counter. Bucky blushed and scratched his neck, shying away.

“It’s nothing.. I’m just happy you liked it.”

“How much do I owe you?” She asked. Bucky put his hands up.

“Oh, it’s on the house. Don’t worry. Call it a welcome gift.” He explained; Y/N jumped and gave him another hug. This time Bucky wrapped his arms around her.

“You are the nicest person on this fucking planet. I have to make it up to you. What’s your favorite fruit?” She pulled away from him and looked at Bucky in the eye. Bucky felt his breath hitch, and his palms get sweaty.

“I-I like plums.” He stuttered. She gave him a big smile and handed him a cookie.

“Hmm, I can make something with that.” She winked at him.

-

“I still haven’t named you, but honestly, I don’t know. You look like a Janelle, but also, I feel like that doesn’t fit.” Bucky said to the new cactus that arrived yesterday, in the afternoon.

“I think she looks like a Lucille.” Bucky turned around and saw Y/N with a box in hand.

“Oh, hi.” He felt embarrassed. She had heard him talk to his plants. Not even Steve had seen that. It was his private thing.

“She’s cute. What type of cactus is it?” She looked at it, not looking weirded out or anything.

“It’s called a Bishop’s cap. They grow to be very pretty and sprout a yellow flower. Not very popular in the shop, but there’s this new cactus crazy going on, and I thought to stock up.” Bucky explained, putting the cactus down next to the others.

“Do you name all your plants?” Bucky gulped and turned around to face her.

“Yeah, and talk to them too.” Bucky fought the urge to punch himself. Why would he say that? Fuck, now she is gonna think he is a fucking weirdo.

Much to his surprise, she smiled at him. She suddenly remembered the box she brought and opened it.

“For saving me yesterday, I made you a plum tart.” She opened it and pulled out the tart. Bucky felt his heart beating faster, and his hands get clammy.

“You didn’t have to.” “Ah! I beg to differ. Everyone that walked into our shop loved the flowers. They were really something. Like I couldn’t stop looking at them. So I had to show you my gratitude the only way I know how. With treats.”

“I couldn’t possibly eat that all alone. Want to share?” Bucky asked, giving her puppy eyes so she wouldn’t say no.

“You drive a hard bargain, Bucky. Has anyone ever told you can get away with murder with those eyes?” Y/N joked.

“I think my grandma’ probably said it. I have some silverware in the shop’s kitchen. When you have to be at your shop?” Bucky said, signaling her to follow him.

“I’m on break—perks of being the boss.” She explained while Bucky grabbed a few paper plates, forks, and a knife. She grabbed the knife and cut a big piece, and gave it to Bucky. Then she cut a piece for herself.

Bucky took a bite and accidentally let out a moan.

“I take it; you like it.” She winked at Bucky. He diverted his gaze from her. Why the fuck did I do that? Bucky screamed internally.

“It’s delicious. I can see why your shop has been packed since yesterday. Reminds me of my ma’s.” Bucky admitted.

“I’m glad, but I can’t take all the credit. You should see the coffee mixes Wanda came up with. They are the real star.” Bucky smiled at her. Nice and pretty… She let out a cough.

“How did you get really good with plants? Like sorry for the personal question, but you have a talent.” She inquired.

“Well, uhm. After getting discharged, my friend Sam suggested that I take classes to handle stress and PTSD. One of the classes was gardening, and I just found it so calming. So I started taking more courses and learning ‘till I decided to start my own business. I don’t think I could ever work anywhere else.” Bucky noticed her staring at him. “What?” He said, smiling awkwardly at her.

“Nothing. Just thinking about how you are the nicest man I’ve ever meet.” She said nonchalantly. Bucky chuckled.

“It’s nothing major. I just found my calling.” Bucky stated.

“I feel the same. I baked a lot in college, and then suddenly I was like fuck, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.” She recalled. Her eyes glowed under the light of the kitchen.

“I felt the same way when I started this shop.” Bucky admitted, she bit back a smile.

“By the way, I like the name—Howling’s flowers. Oh, and how pretty this store is, it looks like I walked in a magical forest.” She complimented.

“I- thanks. I named my store after my squad and the decor well; that’s kind of an embarrassing story.” Bucky chuckled nervously. She rolled her eyes.

“Oh, please. I own a coffee shop named Magic café, and all of our items are named after magical things. I am the last person to judge.” Bucky bit his lip nervously while listening to her.

“I based it on The Hobbit. It was my favorite book when I was younger, and I just couldn’t imagine decoring this store anyway else.” Y/N looked at him with an open mouth.

“Okay, are you government android? Because you are friendly, great with plants and well-read. You are too good to be true.” She laughed. Bucky needs to find a way to blush less in her presence because this is like the fourth or fifth time it has happened.

They finished eating their pieces of tart and talking for a while. Y/N decided to go back to the shop, not realizing how much time she spent there. Before leaving, Bucky gave her some more lavender roses.

“Oh, Bucky, you don’t have to.” She protested.

“It’s just to add to the arrangement. I feel like it was missing a few more roses. You’ll be doing me a favor.” He assured. She grabbed the flowers and smelt them before smiling and giving him a small thanks.

Little did she know that lavender Roses mean love at first sight.

They played that little game for weeks, almost 2 months. Y/N would take her lunch break at Bucky’s shop. Feed him some food and pastries that she was experimenting with, and he would give her flowers.

“To put on the counter. Your store deserves fresh flowers every day.” Bucky claimed. But in actuality, all the flowers meant something. The white camellias? He was telling her that he admired her. The amaryllis? That he found you beautiful. The white and purple stocks? A silent plea for bonds of affection from your part. But he couldn’t bring himself to say these things out loud.

Speaking to Y/N in flowers was much easier. Maybe because she didn’t know and couldn’t reject him.

“Bucky, you gotta tell her, man.” Steve would try to reason with him. “She likes you; you like her. Just tell her that you like her or ask her out on a date.”

“You don’t get it, Steve.” Bucky would argue, which led to an entire discussion on how Bucky is being a coward that ended with him telling Steve and Sam to fuck off.

But they were right; it was simple. She has been an absolute doll with him. She doesn’t mind hearing his rants about the new book he read and helped him water his plants. She even bought waterproof labels to put their names on their planters. She even asked (more like demanded) Bucky to send her the pictures of every bouquet and arrangement he made. She loved seen his creations.

And he loved being her test subject. She would bring him new pastries to try. He was her official taste tester. Anything new in the store, Bucky had already tried it in every one of its variations. Y/N would speak to him of all of her special interests and all of her new hobbies. He had even met all her friends, and they loved him.

So why was this so difficult? Bucky groaned while arranging the flowers at the front of the shop.

“What’s got you all groaning and gloomy, Bucky-bear?” Y/N asked him. She looked radiant in her work clothes. Ugh, Bucky had it bad.

“Nothing, j-just thinking.” He nervously replied.

“Don’t overthink. You might over-heat your brain, bubs.” She joked, entering Bucky’s shop. And like the hopeless romantic he is, he followed.

“Soooooooo I have been trying out this new pasta recipe, and you are the only one I trust to give me the truth.” She said, opening the Tupperware she brought. Bucky’s heart fluttered at her words. He felt light-headed; maybe that’s why he couldn’t stop himself from opening his mouth.

“I like you.” He blurted out. He slapped his hand over his mouth. Y/N turned to him, widen eyes, and mouth gaped.

“Bucky, do you mean that? Because if you are playing with me, I will fight you with this.” She warned Bucky, threatening with a spoon.

“I like you a lot. Actually love you. I- that’s what those flowers meant.” Bucky explained. Y/N put down the spoon.

“What flowers?” She asked, in the softest tone he has ever heard her speak in. Bucky turned his gaze to the floor, embarrassed that this was his confession.

“All of them. They all meant love in one form or the other.” He admitted. Y/N stood in front of him and put her hand on his cheek. He felt his heart do backflips.

“What flower means I’m in love with you, Bucky?” She asked, caressing his cheek.

“Maybe red carnations.” He joked, leaning into her touch.

“I’ll ask this handsome florist with a heart of gold to make me a bouquet to give you.” Bucky chuckled while she let out a little giggle.

“I would love a bouquet, but I would much rather have a plum tart from the sexy baker on the store out front.” Y/N hummed.

“I think I can make that happen.” She said, pulling him closer. “Can I kiss you, Bucky?” She asked; Bucky could only nod.

She grabbed his face and pressed her lips against his. Bucky wrapped his arms around her, pulling her even closer, molding her body against him. Their lips gliding over each other smoothly, as if they were made for each other.

They pulled away to take a breath, and they both had the same dopey smile. Tarts and carnations. Who knew they mixed so well?

[elysianslove]

a part two to suna with a boyfriend: corruption kink edition? yeah. yeah. due to popular demand, and due to Horny Brain, i will continue this. like out of spite.

the second time suna takes another first of his boyfriend’s is when he comes back from a long day at practice. it’d been an early morning, way too early for either of their likings, and a late evening too. he’s home an hour before the sun sets, exhausted and tired beyond words comprehension. but still, when he finds his boyfriend waiting cautiously at the front steps of his house, hands shoved in his pockets, somehow, he’s as energized as he had been mid practice, and a smile graces suna’s lips almost immediately.

the second time suna takes another first of his boyfriend’s is in the shower, an activity initiated innocently. he’d sat cross legged on the floor, before his boyfriend, as the latter lathered up his hair, scratched and brushed at it, before rinsing it. and when he settles down behind suna, scrubbing at his body, soothingly cleaning him up, the loofa daringly drops from his hand, and he snakes it towards where suna’s dick lies soft in his lap.

the second time suna takes another first of his boyfriend’s is initiated by his lover himself, whose tentative and cautious hands are a little shaky as they wrap around his cock. suna sighs, body relaxing slightly, leaning back, more into his boyfriend’s embrace as his hand gets slightly more confident, slightly more sure and certain. it feels good, of course it does. s’not like he’s never played with a dick before. he knows the most sensitive spots, evident with how he pays attention to the tip of suna’s cock, pressing at the slit, squeezing at the head. but what shocks suna, what really takes him aback, what really reminds him that he’s the only one truly with any experience at all, is the question that comes out of his boyfriend’s mouth next.

“can i suck your dick?” and then, quieter, “please.”

and of course suna lets him. suna lets him twist him around, urge him to lean back slightly, to spread his legs more. suna lets him crawl closer, lets him marvel at his hardening dick, lets him reach out carefully to lick at the tip. and then he speaks again, and suna feels all the blood rush straight to his dick.

“can you— i don’t know what to do, rin,” he admits in a small voice, has suna reaching out for his hair, to smooth through it reassuringly. “just wanna make you feel good.”

suna sighs, thumb caressing his boyfriend’s cheek lightly, telling him that it’s okay baby, i’ll guide you. and he does just said, hand trailing lower, thumb pressing down on his chin, urging his mouth to fall open, his tongue to spill out. he tells him what to do, how to do it, to lick at the head, to suck on the tip, to take what he can, careful baby, don’t hurt yourself. he watches in awe as his boyfriend learns quick, as he takes more and more of him, as he willingly gags and slurps and gasps and heaves around his cock, and suna doesn’t think he’s seen a prettier sight, messy and so lewd. he’s probably had better blowjobs than this, but an orgasm has somehow never felt as good.

the second time suna takes another first of his boyfriend’s, he cums into his mouth, and he takes it all, swallowing around his cock, milking him dry, as the water behind him turns cold. and then he sits up, licking his lips, looking proud as ever as he speaks with a hoarse voice, “made you feel good, rin?”

and suna takes his jaw in his hand, leads him closer, and against his lips, he says, “so good, baby.”

the third time, and then the fourth, and then the fifth, and every time after that, is all a blur. and with each and every time, his boyfriend’s courage and confidence grows. he lets suna use him, use his body, fuck his throat, fuck his thighs, lets him make him as much of a mess as he’d like. and suna, suna gives, and gives and gives. he swallows around his boyfriend’s cock and has him cumming embarrassingly quick, and he lets him fuck his fist, fuck his thighs, grind atop one of his thighs, lets him have his way, however he’d like. because even after all this time, it’s just as enthralling, just as mind-numbing  and stupefying to watch him fall apart at the seams at the unfamiliarity of it all. 

with him. 

he doesn’t take his virginity. not yet, at least. it’s a topic they tread lightly on, a subject that feels too heavy. he takes every other of his boyfriend’s firsts without much consequence, but this. it’s something else entirely, and even he understands its significance. suna doesn’t push, he doesn’t pressure, he doesn’t manipulate. he just lets it be. 

so when his boyfriend is as needy as ever, hovering above him, hands fumbling and unsure, he kisses at his lips softly, eases his mind, lets the incoherence blend together to finally form a single thought, finally, and eventually, his boyfriend’s hand reaches out, and he grabs his own cock, before lowering it directly on top of suna’s, trying his best to wrap his hand around both their cocks. it’s an act that’s as intimate as ever, and it doesn’t come close to what they’d done before. sure, suna’s cock would push against his boyfriend’s bulge every time he fucked his thighs, or his boyfriend’s dick would press hard against suna’s clothed dick every time he humped him till he came, but this was different. 

it was so different. 

and suna, as experienced as he is, still felt suddenly overwhelmed. it was so fucking much that he was feeling, too many emotions all at once, his brain clouding over as he looks up in a daze and spots his boyfriend’s gaze, stuck on their cocks gliding against one another, his hand as tight as he can manage. it’s so wet and looks so messy and sounds it too, and god, suna can’t help but imagine what it’d be like, what it’d do to his boyfriend if he were to reach out and—

fuck it. his hand falls to between them, and he wraps his around their cocks from the unoccupied side, and watches in awe as his boyfriend fucking trembles and whines, hips thrusting forward unintentionally, mindlessly, and as his hand curls into the mattress beneath suna, by him, fisting the bedsheet, mumbling and gasping about how close he is, how he needs to cum, please, please, please, rin. 

everything he does is beautiful, suna realizes. and he’ll never have enough of watching him come undone above him, beneath him, to his side, wherever, whenever. he has the luxury of claiming it as his. this expression, the tension in his body easing, the small whimpers and cries and whines and sobs. they’re all his. only his. only, only, only his. 

he cums a minute later, painting his stomach white, his cum mixing with his boyfriend’s, who seems no longer able to keep himself upright. so said boy falls, atop his lover, but instead of passing out like suna expects him to, his tongue flicks out, like a fucking kitten, and he licks at the cum staining suna’s skin. 

everything he does is beautiful. 

and suna wants to see more. 

[watevermelon]

✧ Soulmate!Sakusa x Reader; You are Karasuno’s manager and, unfortunately for the both of you, very popular among those in your year.

➳  A/N: This is so fluffy and nothing like how I usually write, but it was fun!! Thanks for the ask!! (: <3

✧  Masterlist

----xXxXxXxXxXx-----

There was a strange pull to volleyball that you could not fully explain, just that you were always associated somehow with the sport. In middle school, you were the manager of Kitagawa Daiichi and tended to hang around the loud duo of Oikawa and Iwaizumi. And eventually, when you chose going to Karasuno, it was no surprise that Kiyoki had roped you into becoming a manager again.

You were the last of your year to meet your soulmate - many of your friends having met their’s already. 

Kageyama did not recount it often, but Hinata made up for it on a near daily basis. The short player described the event vividly, remembering how the setter’s intimidating face was almost enough for Hinata not to realize that suddenly his world was much more colorful.

Yamaguchi described his encounter like a breath of fresh air, a sudden rush of adrenaline that came with each and every color of the world. The sky was blue, the grass was green, and the seeing members of the team often joked that Hinata looked like a bright orange fruit.

You didn’t even know what orange looked like.

Soulmates were an interesting concept in that some people may live their whole lives never meeting them, wallowing in the black-and-white hues that they were born with. Some give up, disheartened over trying for so long to no avail. Your teammates were especially lucky to have met their soulmates, even more so to have met them at a young age.

Many of the members of the student body either didn’t care for this soulmate business or cared too much about it. Some were hunting almost constantly for any sign, while some expected the fact that they were going to have to travel far eventually when they were adults.

You tried not to think about it at all.

It was cute, hearing the stories of reunions and having someone who nearly completed you. But it was hard to imagine someone who was meant to be with you.

As much as you hated to admit it, you were quite popular among many in underclassmen. You were one of the infamous Oikawa Toru’s close friends and had the looks to rival his own. Many people had complimented the two of you in the past, asking if you were soulmates and saying that you would make a good couple based on looks alone.

It annoyed you how much fair skin and flowing locks were enough to blind people to who you really were. Your friendliness often got misconstrued for something else, many of these dumb boys digging for more than just the amicable smiles you were giving.

Tsukishima said the simplest solution was to shave your head, to which you almost killed him. And Yamaguchi said it was only natural since you were very pretty. Tanaka joked that the power of two beautiful managers would win them nationals alone.

And so, almost on a daily basis, you were rejecting boys' confession left and right. From the notes hidden in your locker, to the ones passed to you during class, to those who were brave enough to wait for you outside of the gymnasium - you rejected them all with careful smiles.

But that small amount that you gave, they reached for it hard.

Give an inch and they’ll take a mile.

Many hadn’t been deterred in the least, eager to try to make you fall in love with them despite having said you were not interested. It annoyed you to no end, being surrounded by flowery language and people who wanted to get close to you, but not for who you actually were. It was all looks and appearances, nothing more.

And you hated it.

There were times that you wondered if you should just take the lid off. 

Why stay cool and composed over people who hardly cared about how you felt?

Didn’t you just want to go batshit crazy one day?

Thankfully, your volleyball boys were also a big help in warding away others. Tanaka and Nishinoya were quite the pair in keeping people away from you during practice games, even when it wasn’t necessary.

((You remembered they first time seeing Akaashi’s cute face and begging to whatever volleyball god’s were out there that he was your soulmate. It was only a little disappointing to hear that he already had one. But seeing how cute the setter and Bokuto were, you figured they truly were meant to be.))

Tsukishima was a silent help, even if he did not admit it. His quick wit and salty words were more than enough to keep others at bay when he was around. Hinata, bless the poor boy, was much denser than you and often didn’t realize flirting until Kageyama had his tongue down his throat.

Karasuno was progressing all the way to Spring Nationals and you could not have been more proud of your boys. The team was built like pillars on-top of pillars, teamwork and hardened skill having sharpened all of them over the past year.

The first day of nationals, the team was mingling in the lobby among all the others that had progressed this far. It was almost intimidating, being surrounded by some of the strongest volleyball players your age in the entire country.

And, unfortunately, you weren’t free from leering eyes then.

Kageyama branched from the group to greet some of the friends he made during the training camp and Tanaka was off having a spiritual moment. You were scanning the room until suddenly you were just standing there alone.

It was the perfect opportunity to pounce and there was someone within your immediate personal space already asking for your name. You smiled at the sudden attention of one, two more people, attempting to back away before the group got any larger. Excusing yourself from them, you headed toward the wall to try to distance yourself and get your bearings.

Someone was already there, huddled in on himself in the corner and basically telling everyone to stay away. He had a mask covering most of his face and his hands were tucked in his zipped jacket, basically staying away from touching a single thing around him.

The moment you made eye-contact, it was almost like a flash of light.

You were looking at a bright mix of yellow and green, contrasted by his pale skin and pitch-black hair. It seemed he was just as surprised, bright eyes widened comically as he stared back at you.

It was more than just the school uniform - there was color everywhere.

From the tan of the walls to the gray tiles on the ground, you scanned the room and saw the different assortment of schools like you had never seen before. Bouncing around was a tuft of orange, Hinata eager to talk to members of other schools as he bounded around the room.

Orange.

You turned back to the reclusive young man and you realized the startling new fact.

Sakusa Kiyoomi was your soulmate.

One of the best spikers in the entire country and resident in Tokyo, hours from where you grew up, was your soulmate.

You knew all about him from the volleyball spreads to the front covers. Among the hundreds of other kids here, he was one of the top picks to watch in the entire nationals. Itachiyama was even one of the top seeds to win it all. It was crazy to think that he, this already highly decorated teen, was your destined other half.

If not for volleyball, would you have ever met?

“What’s your name?” His voice was barely above the crowd and you took a step closer to hear him proper.

You introduced yourself and thought about offering a hand for him to shake, just to realize that the germaphobe would probably never take it. And so, without a word, you rubbed a bit from your hand-sanitizer and then offered the appendage to him.

There was a hint of smirk behind the mask before he took it, muttering your name low on his lips.

He reached into one of his pockets and took out his phone, wordlessly waving it in the air for you to exchange chat ID’s. You recited the numbers back to him, adding each other to keep in contact. And while you both surely had questions, there were only a few minutes until the starting ceremonies.

“Karasuno?” He recounted, “Kageyama Tobio goes to your school.”

You wanted to groan, unsure what the setter’s reputation was like on the high-school level. You would defend your blueberry friend against his king of the court days, but with your soulmate, was that weird?

“Yes, we’re in the same year.”

“Ah.” Sakusa replied simply, his eyes still wordlessly on you.

Was he expecting a response?

“Your eyes are blue.” He commented bluntly, “They look different, nice.”

“Thanks?” You chuckled and responded lamely, “I don’t even know what blue means.”

You saw a small smile form beneath the mask, a crinkle in the corner of his eye. “I’ll show you, one day.”

“I look forward to it.”

There was something about his voice, low and throaty that had you desperately wanting to hear more for it. And while you enjoyed your little moment, there were a few alarms and shouts from the administration, it was time to line-up soon. You bowed curtly in thanks and turned to leave, waving at him as you left.

It was sort of… not what you had imagined?

Not that you were truly expecting anything. You were both still teens and at a competition, it was not like you were hoping to jump into your soulmate’s arms and get married into the sunset right away. But Sakusa was so curt, so blunt. So different from what you were used to.

It was refreshing.

Kiyoko took up the task of fetching Hinata’s shoes and, for once, you were the manager sitting alongside the coach courtside. You felt the reassurance and support from Karasuno’s cheering section, many familiar faces from your Shiratorizawa match. But, along with it, you felt the strange outpoor of pressure at having eyes on you.

More than once you were scanning the crowds to see people avert their eyes, caught in the act. How did the volleyball players deal with this? Each movement they had - receives, spikes, serves - it was heavily scrutinized by every person in the audience. Even more so on this level of competition, with commentators for live TV observing each match.

You saw some of your competition floating around, many sporting pensive looks and even notebooks as they observed Karasuno. Slapping your cheeks lightly, you steadied yourself to focus as you took your own notes on the team. Every successful jump server from Asahi, every spike from the other team’s ace, you had it all down.

And you were on the court, near jumping for joy with the rest, when Karasuno locked itself in as victorious in the first round.

Sakusa approached you after you were all done packing up, most of your team surprised at seeing the strong ace approach you so casually. Kageyama was the only one that was even his acquaintance, but he waved off an informal greeting as well.

You could tell immediately that he was not comfortable, tending to stick to himself normally. And yet here Sakusa was, approaching you when it was not expected of him at all.

“Congrats to your team.” He stated in a low voice.

“Thanks.” You said with a smile, watching as his eyes dropped to your shoulders then back up to your face. “Something wrong?”

He pursued his lips silently before moving to take off his outer jacket, “Here. Wear this during tomorrow’s game.”

Tomorrow's game with Inarizaki? You mentally wondered.

You didn’t question it, taking the jacket with a small grin and folding it in your hands. You still had your Karasuno jacket on and didn’t want to fumble around while the gorgeous ace was watching.

Of course, your team hadn’t caught on either.

“OH?!” Tanaka was immediately on the offensive, “And what claim do you have here city boy?”

You raised your palms to calm him down, an enraged Nishinoya not far behind him. Suga sighed in the corner, moving to grab them by the backs of their collars before they tried to throw hands with a nationally ranked spiker.

Before you could say anything, Sakusa explained with a flat face. “She’s my soulmate. Is it wrong for me to try to get closer to her?”

The reaction was immediate. You heard the, waaah!, from where Hinata was standing the sudden, excited gasp from Yamaguchi.

“Wow! Lucky you, (L/N)-chan.” Suga stated, a smile on his face as he regarded the both of you.

“When did this happen?” Daichi inquired after offering you both smiles.

“Before, when I got lost during the opening ceremony.”

“And you didn’t say anything!” Hinata exclaimed more than questioned.

“I didn’t want to distract you from the game.” You stated back, shrugging lightly.

Sakusa cleared his throat and you turned back to him, “I have to meet back with my team.”

“Okay, safe travels.” You said, earning a nod as he left.

“Wow, he’s so… different from you!” Hinata observed, trying not to be rude.

“He’s… nice to you.” Kagayama commented also, his head tilted and his eyebrows furrowed as if he was trying to find a better word to describe it. 

“That seemed pretty normal though?” Yamaguchi asked.

Kageyama immediately countered, “No, his normal is not like that.”

“He’s cute.” You responded lamely, thinking about his dark hair and matching eyes. 

He was quiet, but not to the point where you felt like he was purposefully closing you off. It was more like, if he had nothing to say, then he would not find the need to ramble on. Blunt with a purpose - which you honestly liked.

Meanwhile, Sakusa was hoping you took his words to heart and wore the jacket the entire next day. He had thought about his soulmate once or twice before, but never really dwelled on it since he had more important things to worry about. A soulmate was something he could not physically complete on his own, and while he hated leaving the issue half-assed, it is what it is.

But now that he knew who you were? 

Sakusa wanted to know you whole.

There was no denying it right at the onset - you were beautiful. If there were any other words - immaculate? Stunning? Absolutely show-stopping?

He had no expectations and yet here you were blowing them all out of the park, your beautiful looks only enhanced by how observant and friendly you had been at the onset.

It annoyed him that he was not the only one to have noticed this, many leering eyes following you as you went. Even more so when you were on the bench in the main stadium, many people in the stands around him remarked that Karasuno’s manager was insanely attractive.

No matter, you were his soulmate.

It only get worse when the rice-field asshole showed his face, Atsumu greeting Sakusa with the usual, Omi-Omi.

It seemed they were both interested in watching Kageyama play with his team. He was good during the training camp, but another thing entirely with the small spiker that completely their freak-duo.

But of fucking course Atsumu had to make a comment about you.

“And suddenly I’m lookin’ forward to playin’ them tomorrow.” The setter stated, eyes shooting to where you were sitting.

Sakusa had half the mind to put him in his place, but it would do no good. After all, the setter was an idiot, but actually liked to get on his nerves sometimes.

And so wearing his jacket should be more than enough to stake his claim.

Sakusa had a game the next day, but the bright hues of his yellow-green school colors were easy to pick out in the crowd. You were wearing it just like he asked, the jacket looking much too big on you.

But it was the smile on your face as you cheered on your team that made him want to smile back, even though he knew for a fact that you were not looking.

Baby steps, you would get there soon enough.

[dreamersdreamloud]

High School Lovers

AN: Planning to make a storyline out of this on AO3

Warnings: Mature

Omega Lena Luthor x Alpha Reader

————————————

First Day of School

Danvers Household

The Danvers, the famous kind family with three dashing Alphas. Eliza and Jeremiah are proud of producing three strong women alphas. The oldest (Y/N) Danvers, the most popular jock in their highschool. You're proud to be the captain and quarterback of the Midvale’s football team. The omegas from all grades adore your looks and muscles but they didn’t stand a chance since you were dating the cheerleading captain, Cat Grant.

Cat dumped you during summer break and your inner alpha felt heartbroken. She left you for Maxwell Lord, the snobby rich alpha with little or none manners. You learned to let go during the summer and focused on getting that athlete scholarship during your last year of highschool and just move on with your life. Recently you became more reckless with your alpha actions, getting into fights, not listening to your parents. You were a mess that your sisters had to watch over you, to avoid getting yourself into further trouble.

The second oldest, Alex Danvers is also popular, known for her smarts for science but also the captain of the basketball team. Alex has always looked up to you as a role model. She basically became a tough looking alpha just like her older sister. But under those tough looks, she’s soft as a teddy bear, as her girlfriend, Sam Arias, declares it.

The youngest alpha in the family is Kara Danvers. The well known ball of sunshine and kindness. People often underestimate the blonde. Her alpha side is not something to be messed with. Bigger alphas would bully the youngest Danvers but they would run for the hills if Alex and you teach them a lesson on what happens when you mess with their youngest sister. Kara loves her sisters so much but she also loves her omega girlfriend, Lucy Lane , for always supporting her.

You're happy that your sisters have girlfriends and glad that they picked the best omegas from your shared high school. You don’t have to worry about the omegas being a distraction to your sisters’ studies. Whenever they’re in heat, they know best to stay away from their alphas and sit out. Eliza is thankful to not worry about being a grandma so soon.

“(Y/N)! Wake up! Mom has been calling you for breakfast!” Alex pounds on the door of your bedroom. You groan and growl at the door.

“I’ll be there!” You yelled back. You’re glad that you have your own room. Unfortunately, Alex and Kara have to share a bedroom. Sometimes you would hear them arguing next door on the stupidest things.

“Agh. First day of senior year here we go.” You said to yourself as you push your blankets away.

***

“Sam! Can you drive a little slower?!” Lena yells at her driver. She doesn’t know why she agreed to ride with her best friend to school if her life is endangered.

“Lena. It’s our first day of being juniors. I don’t want to be late!”

“We’re an hour early! You literally just want to see your girlfriend and ride her dick in the locker rooms.” Lena huffs.

The omega is happy that her best friend is dating a popular yet caring alpha but it can be annoying to watch them tongue each other’s throats in public. Lena wishes she had an alpha to look forward to but ever since she dumped Jack, she hasn’t been able to find another great alpha.

The reason the raven haired dump the alpha is that he would often ask her to have sex. Lena felt uncomfortable and she was only 15 years old at the time and he was a senior. He was the legal age of having sexual intercourse. Lena didn’t like being pressure into having sex so she broke things off and was content when he left for college. Lena wants to pick someone special to take her virginity and hopes to find that someone soon.

Sam ease off on the gas so that her passenger doesn’t contract a heart attack. A muscle car pulls up next to Sam’s car. The car is too familiar to the omegas. They've been seeing that classic black Ford Mustang fastback all summer.

The Danvers sisters are inside that car. The oldest Danvers revs the car again, annoying the two omegas inside their own car. Sam got a bit distracted as she saw the second oldest Danvers giving her certain looks that any omega would like to see. Lena saw that Kara was shaking her head, not wanting to be part of her sisters’ reckless act.

The alpha speeds up and cuts Sam off. Sam honks at the mustang, “Jackass.”

Lena laughs, “maybe if you weren’t so distracted looking at your alpha, (Y/N) wouldn’t have cut you off.”

Sam didn’t park too far from the alphas, they both got off at the same time. Lucy from afar, ran into Kara’s arms and gave her a longing kiss for everyone to witness. Sam didn’t want to embarrass herself like that and waited for Alex to walk over to them.

“Good morning, babe.” Alex lifts up Sam off her feet and Lena gags.

Not wanting to witness their affection, her eyes fall to the older Danvers stepping out of the car last. You wore sunglasses and simple black jeans with white fitted t-shirt. You saw your sisters run to their girlfriends and you just roll your eyes at them. You didn’t bother to wait for them and just make your way inside the school campus grounds to go hang with your jock friends.

“I see that you’re checking out the oldest Danvers.” Sam teases Lena.

“Wait what? Are you seriously checking out my sister, Luthor?”

Lena can’t help to admit that you’re the most handsome looking alpha she has ever seen in this highschool and that she developed a small crush over you since her freshman year. Besides dumping Jack for pressuring sex onto her, she also did it for you. She had this little hope that would be her loving alpha but when she found out that you got together with Cat, she was broken into tears.

“You know she’s single right? Cat dumped her during the summer.” Sam informs Lena.

The raven haired already knew that from Kara. She mentally keeps tabs on the older Danvers and Kara just feeds her information not knowing that she’s helping her. During the summer break, Lena would often visit the Danvers household to hang out with Kara and Alex but you were never there when she visited. You often found yourself helping your father or out with friends during the early morning.

“I heard it first from Kara.” Lena replies to Sam.

“I’m giving you permission to go after my knot head sister.” Alex surprisingly tells her.

“Your sister doesn’t know I exist. Plus why would she want to date a small nerdy omega?”

It’s true that Lena is a nerd but she’s the most popular nerd in the whole school. She takes advanced classes, joins after programs and clubs to help boost her chances into getting into MIT. Lena is sure that you only saw her a few times ever since you met through your sisters and swears that you don’t remember her.

The school bell rings and everyone heads to their first class of the day.

During Lena’s history class, she doesn’t bother to give her full attention since she already knows everything and already did advance research of U.S history during the summer break. At the moment, Lena was thinking how it can be possible to date the oldest Danvers but it can be nearly impossible. Omegas are not known to court alphas. She wonders if she can grab the alpha jock’s attention but since she’s a Junior, she knows that she won’t have any classes with her. Lena nearly gives up on the silly idea. Maybe she’ll just need to move on.

***

It’s nearly the end of the day and Lena is looking forward to her last class, Microbiology. A class where only seniors can take but Lena’s mother, Lillian, helped talk the school board into letting Lena take the class since she already took all the other science classes and passed with A’s.

The raven haired was one of the few to arrive early and picked a seating of her choice. She picks a seat in the back to not draw much attention to herself for the semester. Lena keeps herself but checking her phone while the seniors pour themselves inside the room.

She felt a little lonely for not having friends in this class but she was content that she has classes with Sam and Alex. She also has elective classes with Kara and Winn. A few seniors recognized Lena on the way in and had a short conversation with the only junior in the class. Andrea Rojas, a cheerleader that Lena is friends with, sits before her.

The microbiology teacher who’s also the coach of the football team, starts to take attendance. It goes by alphabetical order and everyone just quieta down to hear their names be called.

“(Y/N) Danvers?!” Mr. J’onn J'onzz says out loud.

Lena’s head perks up and scans the room to find the older Danvers but apparently she’s nowhere to be found.

“Danvers?” Mr. J’onzz calls out again. He scans the room carefully and looks for anyone connected to the missing student.

“Gand! Where’s (Y/N)?”

Mike also known as Mon-El, a football player, answers, “I- um. I actually don’t know Coach.”

“Since she’s not here she better be at practice or else the whole team will be doing suicides for warm-up.” The coach threatens.

Mr. J’onzz is upset that his star player has ditched class but he resumes to take attendance and start the lecture. Lena wonders where the alpha jock went, she hides her phone under her desk and texts another senior she knows. She doesn’t want to text either of the Danvers sisters.

Lena: Mags, do you know where (Y/N) is at?

Maggie: Big D? Nope. She should be in class. Why?

Lena rolls her eyes at the older Danvers’ nickname. She can’t believe people call her that but she blushes on the reason why she earned that name. There’s been rumors going around that (Y/N)’s dick is huge and was exposed during one of the wild highschool parties.

Maggie was the one who started the nickname and decided to nickname all the Danvers sisters as well. She called Alex “Mid D” and Kara “Little D or Little Danvers.” Little did everyone know, all the Danvers have huge cocks and their girlfriends can certify that information.

Lena: She’s supposed to be in my microbio class.

Maggie: Hmm. I’ll look into it

The raven haired locks her phone and pays attention to the lecture again. It was long until Lena’s phone vibrated a text message.

Maggie: So . . Big D is getting a BJ from one of the cheerleaders.

Of course. Lena thought to herself.

“Okay class! This semester I’m going to pair you up with a partner. The project will be about collecting samples from different environments and studying what type of bacteria is out there. The due date is TBA but I suggest you start it early and not last minute. The project is worth 300 points of your grade.” Mr. J’onzz announces.

The teacher proceeds to read of the pairs of students for the project in his clipboard. The students were getting noisy as the pairs were being announced. A few were disappointed in who they got while others were filled with joy.

“Lena Luthor! You’re partners with (Y/N) Danvers!”

Lena looked up quickly when she heard her partner’s name. She sees that half of the class looked at her when they found out that their most cherished alpha is partners with a junior omega who’s known for her genius side. The raven haired caught a few omegas looking at her with disgust but she managed to ignore.

“Fuck.” Lena mumbled to herself. She can’t believe she’s paired off with her long time crush. It can’t be that bad right? She’s close with the younger sisters, doesn’t mean she can’t be friendly and close with the oldest Danvers sister as well. Or can she?

[hopetofantasy]

Translated interview with Willem De Schryver

Also on my website: Behind wtFOCK - link in comments

The young stars of Streamz series 'Déjà-vu': 'You learn more on the internet than at school'

‘Déjà-vu’ is the name of the latest Flemish fiction series that’s rolling off the production line of ‘Streamz’. In addition to the traditional list of actors' names, Xenia Borremans (21) and Willem De Schryver (19) are featured as fresh blood in the credits. Two newcomers who shamelessly rival the established values.

Calling Willem De Schryver a newcomer is really failing the truth. He has more than 50,000 followers on Instagram and cannot cross the Ghent Korenmarkt without posing for a selfie. It’s the fault of ‘wtFOCK’, a youth series that mainly takes place online and is extremely popular with all those who saw the light of day after 2000. The chance that you’ve seen Xenia Borremans in action, is much smaller. Her only claim to fame for time being, is the horror short ‘De vijver’. And ofcourse, there’s her family name. Xenia is the only daughter of artist Michaël Borremans, but really wants to make a name for herself now.

How did you get into acting? Borremans: “Ever since I was a child, I wanted to act. There are piles of videos at home in which I try to recreate scenes from old films like ‘Some Like it Hot’. I also acted for ten years at ‘Kopergietery’ (children's theater company in Ghent). Acting was a dream, but I didn't dare to hope for that too much. There was always that little voice in the back of my mind that said, "You don’t only need talent but a lot of luck to make it." That was evident when I started to participate in castings. I often cried when I didn’t get a role.

I didn't dare to hope too much for ‘Déjà-vu’ either. Actually, I had no intention of auditioning at all. For fear of being rejected again. In the end, it’s my mom who pushed me to try. When they called me to say I had the part, it came as a complete surprise.”

De Schryver: “I can recognize myself in that story. I too was always performing plays at home. I did ‘Diction’ on Wednesday afternoons, but that wasn’t more than a hobby. When I no longer felt at home at school in secondary school, I took the step to go to the ‘Lemmensinstuut’ in Leuven. That was a revelation. Suddenly, I was allowed to be involved in theater day in, day out. I was happy to get up in the morning, when before, I often came home crying because I really didn't want to go to school anymore. It was obvious that after secondary school I would take the step to theater education at the ‘KASK’.” Borremans: “I also took the entrance exam at the ‘KASK’, but I wasn’t admitted. Maybe I'll try again next year. But maybe not. I’m not convinced that such an education is necessary. There are plenty of examples of actors and actresses who also made it without a diploma.” De Schryver: “In the classes I’m taking now, there isn’t only attention for acting, but also for making plays. I get building blocks to get started in the future. But, just like Xenia, I’m convinced that it can also be done without it.”

In ‘Déjà-vu’ you play the ideal son and the rebellious adolescent daughter, respectively. How deep did you have to dig for that role? De Schryver: “The role of Max is pretty close to my own personality, so that wasn’t too bad. I only had to practice playing hockey. (laughs) Although as far as I’m concerned, a role does not necessarily have to be written for me. For example, in ‘wtFOCK’ I play a bipolar, gay boy. That’s difficult and I had to do a lot of research for it. But when - like recently - you’re approached on the street by a boy who tells me that through my role he had learned to live with his own bipolarity, then the satisfaction is all the greater. ” Borremans: “I recognized myself super hard in Louise's character. I have done quite a lot of rebellion in my puberty years and just like Louise - who has a mother who makes a living as a radio host - I can be bothered too by the fact that one of my parents is famous.”

In what sense? Borremans: “I’m very proud of my dad, that's not the point. We have a very good relationship. He's my best friend. For real. But my family name isn’t always a gift. Many times in the past people have tried to contact me with the sole intention of getting closer to him. Even people I thought were friends, turned out to be solely interested in me because they were fans of my father's work. I also noticed that some teachers marked my grades more strictly just because I was ‘the daughter of’.” Did that influence you to choose acting and not, for example, drawing? Borremans: “I did drawing. In ‘Sint-Lucas’, just like my father. He did push me a bit in that direction. But I stopped when all the lessons suddenly had to be online due to corona. Dad thinks it's important to get a diploma. I attach less importance to that. I prefer to figure things out on my own. If you have the discipline to do self-study, then that’s in my opinion as valuable as any education. I’ve already learned a lot more on the internet than in school. My mom is part of that story, daddy still has some work to do in that aspect.”

You both had a supporting role on the set of ‘Déjà-vu’. How much pressure did it cause? De Schryver: “I did lie awake at night. Although it had a lot to do with the beginning of the shooting period, when I overslept. I cried when I arrived on the set. Such a gigantic production and it gets delayed, because a rookie like me, is late. In the end we hardly lost any time, but the nights after, I was wide awake in my bed waiting for the alarm to go off.” Borremans: “Willem arrived on the set, crying, but was professional enough to put himself in the shoes of Max a few minutes later. Pretty impressive.” De Schryver: “There really was no time to lose. The makeup artist just had about enough time to get rid of my red eyes, but that was it.” Borremans: “I’ve experienced something similar. During the shooting period, I met with a friend who turned out to have corona. Panic, of course. In the end, the shooting stopped for a week as a precaution. There were some tears then. You have a first major role and then something like that happens. Fortunately, it was handled very well on the set. Everyone came to tell me that it could’ve happened to them too.”

The corona crisis has been defining our lives for over a year now. How do you deal with this? De Schryver: “The first weeks, I didn't mind the lockdown. It gave me a chance to catch my breath. By the way, I still don't miss going out that much. Although that also has to do with ‘wtFOCK’. That show has a very fanatic fan base. And you notice. In any case, going out to a bar with friends was no longer possible without being approached or posing for selfies. When people have been drinking, a number of inhibitions also disappear. As soon as they recognize you, they’ll immediately hang onto you. It made me prefer to stay in the room even before the lockdown.” Borremans: “I’m now 21 years old. This may sound strange, but I’m kinda done with nightlife. Of course, I also want to be able to go out again and see people, but I notice that it’s more difficult for those who are younger. I get bored sometimes. But that also has its positive sides. It makes you do creative things. For example, I started to design and make clothes. Without the lockdown, that would’ve never occurred to me. I never read books either, now I do. Although, I would like for it to gradually return to normal. " De Schryver: “I mainly suffer from touch starvation. Actually hug people. I really miss that. But just like Xenia, I also think this is an interesting period. It makes you think. About yourself, about where you want to go in life.”

The Covid crisis also makes painfully clear how vulnerable creative professions are. Did that change your plans for the future? Borremans: “I was already looking for a plan B before this whole situation. Acting is and remains the big dream. But there are no guarantees. I’ll continue to go for it anyway, but I realize that I cannot assume that I’ll succeed in making acting my livelihood.” De Schryver: “We shouldn't be shy about that: the acting world is a tough world with a lot of competition. It’ll not be easy to make it and I know that there are still difficult moments to come. But I do not intend to suddenly follow other classes just to have something as a back-up. The corona crisis has made me realize even more how important acting is to me. I could never completely push it aside. This’s what I was made for. I just feel that.” Déjà-vu can be seen on Streamz. The series will be released on Play4 later this year.

[starrysnowdrop]

Thoughts on Yume x Cid, Yume x Raha, and how this all came together as Cid x Yume x Raha

I’m not sure how to start this, so I’ll just jot down what’s on my mind as it comes. Apologies in advance if I start to ramble.

I am realizing that it might be a little odd that I now have a poly ship, especially since I’m not poly irl. It was actually really difficult for me to admit that the ideal ship for Yume was for her to be with Cid and Raha BOTH, since I was afraid that others may not like it. I’m aware that some may be upset that it seems like I’m abandoning Cid in favor of G’raha. But that is exactly what I didn’t want to do. I did not want to just throw out everything I’ve worked so hard on, and I’m so proud of Cid x Yume. Cid truly is a huge part of Yume’s whole character arc, and Yume would not be the same person without him in her life.

Here’s the honest truth. Yes, Cid is absolutely one of my favorite characters, not just in FFXIV but in general… but I love G’raha Tia just as much as I do Cid Garlond. There, I said it. I actually have loved G’raha since I first played through Crystal Tower, and it was just reinforced in ShB in early access two years ago.

What turned me away from shipping G’raha with Yume for so long was the fandom. When looking at the numbers of fics written for the ship on Ao3, G’raha x WoL is the most popular ship in the entire fandom. I got so intimidated by all of the amazing creators out there, and I got too scared to write it. So I just decided to go for another ship instead. That’s what led me to Yume x Aymeric, which I abandoned after a few months, then moved into other WoL x NPC ships (that didn’t include Yume btw), and eventually found my home with Yume x Cid.

But I never could forget about Raha. I have always thought about what if scenarios and such. What I could’ve written if I had actually shipped Yume with Raha. But I would soon feel a ton of guilt. It felt like I was betraying all I have worked on with Yume x Cid. There might be some of my followers that feel that way; that they followed me for my Cid ship, not yet another G’raha ship.

It has only been very recently that I finally decided to take that step into exploring one of those what if scenarios that popped into my head. My plan was to explore Yume and Raha’s dynamic in an AU where Cid dies, and Yume is grieving over him. But what decided to haunt me?

Yeah… that one regret. That I let my fear take over and never shipped with G’raha like I wanted to do ever since I fell in love with ShB. I just couldn’t stop thinking about Yume x Raha.

So, I FINALLY allowed myself to explore it. And soon I discovered that an AU was just not enough for me. I wanted it to be in Yume’s canon. It wasn’t easy, but I had so much encouragement from my friends in our Discord group, and from my IRL friend, that I built up the courage to make Yume x Raha canon.

Once again, I just could not and did not want to abandon Yume x Cid, as I love them so much still. What could I do to solve this dilemma?

In the end, my stupid monogamous self had an epiphany. Why not make it Cid x Yume x Raha??? Why did I have to choose? Why did Yume have to choose? Can’t she love both? Why am I letting my fear get to me? Shouldn’t I just write whatever the hell I want to?

So, this is me telling all of you that you truly need to be yourself and write what is in your heart. Do not let the pressures of the fandom discourage you from creating what you truly want to. At the end of the day, it’s not about those notes on Tumblr, the retweets on Twitter, or those kudos on Ao3. You need to make yourself happy. Your happiness is what matters here, not what others want from you. It may not come easy, since this is a reminder to myself as well. But I’m here to encourage you to be yourself.

If you’re still here reading this, thank you so much for taking the time to hear me ramble. I love you. 😘🥰💖

[vs-redemption]

This is the fourth piece out of seven written for the one year anniversary collaboration event for the @konoblog-simps discord. I encourage everyone to check out the masterlist for today's prompt and support the other creators. Some content might not be suitable for minors so please pay attention to the warnings.

Prompt: Song Piece (Tooru Oikawa x Reader)

Word Count: 1.6K Warnings: Mentions of alcohol

Song: Case Of The Ex - Mya I'm old, just like this song, so I apologize if you don't know it. I provided a link if you wanna check out the song/video.

It took a certain kind of person to date a guy like Tooru Oikawa. It wasn’t for the faint hearted for sure. First of all, you had to be fine with long absences since he traveled so much for work. If he wasn’t off competing against the best teams in the world, he was spending an absurd amount of time in training camps and practices. His career as a pro volleyball player alone would put strain on any relationship but the obstacles didn’t end there. Oikawa was more than just an incredible athlete. He was also known for being one of the most attractive male sports stars on the planet. He had a huge female fan base and had appeared on a disturbing number of magazine covers for his looks alone. Anyone who dated him would have to share his attention with every single other person who thought they might have a chance with the devilishly handsome man. It would take someone awfully secure in themselves to withstand pressure like that constantly looming over them.

“Hey cutie! Can I buy you a drink?”

The first time you met Oikawa was unfortunately during a bar crawl for a friend’s birthday. It wasn’t the type of thing you’d normally participate in, but you endured it this time because of the special occasion. You were already at your third stop of the night and ready to go home when a ridiculously tall, obnoxiously attractive man appeared next to you.

“I think you already did,” you tell him while holding up the glass in your hand. “Wasn’t it you and your buddies that bought a round for my friend’s birthday?”

“Yeah, but that was a while ago,” he tilts his head curiously at you. “Don’t you need another by now?”

“I’m pacing myself,” you tell him flatly. “Thank you though.”

“I’m Tooru Oikawa,” he smiles and spreads his arms, lifting his chin proudly and reminding you of a peacock showing off and you laugh.

“I know.”

As the night dragged on, you continued chatting with the famous volleyball player as your friends continued with their shenanigans. You could admit that conversation with Oikawa was easy, and he definitely made the night more interesting. He was cute and charming, not to mention rich and famous, but you knew you didn’t have the energy to get involved with someone like that in any capacity. You allowed yourself some light banter, figuring he could just move on to flirting with someone else once you parted ways.

“How about a date?” he asks you once your friend signals you that it was time to head to the next stop of the night.

“I don’t date pretty boys.” You reply apologetically, a hint of amusement in your voice.

“How about meeting for coffee as friends?” he quips without any hesitation.

“Are you serious?” You ask and he nods while pulling his phone out from his pocket. You shake your head, pushing his phone away with a mischievous smile on your face. “I’ll tell you the time and place,” you tell him. “If you actually show up, then I’ll give you my number.”

What you hadn’t known was that Tooru Oikawa was persistent when he knew what he wanted. Not only did he show up to the designated place on time, but he also kept the conversation light and friendly since you’d been adamant about it not being a date. As promised, you exchanged numbers and saw no reason to refuse when he asked to meet up again soon.

Oikawa wasted no time in integrating himself into your daily life. At first, having regular correspondence with him made it easy to forget his celebrity status. He never acted like the hot playboy he was made out to be in the media. He never seemed too proud to send you goofy selfies of himself, or tell you about something embarrassing that had happened to him in one of his practices. When he was too busy to meet you in person, he scheduled time to do video calls. It surprised you that he never seemed to lose interest. The way he took his time to let you really get to know him and build up a mutual trust made it difficult to say no the next time he asked you on an actual date.

“I know my volleyball is going to make things tough,” he’d admitted from the very start, and you respected that he could acknowledge that. The first step in overcoming the hurdle was admitting it existed in the first place. He was more than willing to talk and compromise as much as you needed though, continuing to make you feel better about entering into a relationship with him. After all, despite your efforts to remain rational, you’d ended up falling head over heels for the idiot.

Being with Oikawa was too good to be true. You’d known going into the relationship how busy he was, and although you were fine being on your own sometimes, he still made sure you never felt neglected. Hardly a day went by without at least a phone call since he claimed that going to bed without hearing your voice was impossible for him. He was so cheesy sometimes, but you appreciated his transparency. Even dealing with his popularity turned out to be less of a problem than you’d imagined. Seeing all the comments and likes on his posts never made you feel jealous. In fact, it made you happy to see your boyfriend getting the amount of love and attention you knew he deserved. He never made a big deal about it and did everything in his power to make sure you knew he only had eyes for you.

“Good night, my love!” He smiles and pulls your face into his hands, pressing a kiss to your mouth before yawning and snuggling into the blankets next to you.

“Night, pretty boy,” you reply with a teasing smile that makes him pout. “Stop,” you poke his cheek, “You know I love you.”

“Mm,” he hums happily. “Love you too.”

Sometimes it still blew your mind knowing Tooru Oikawa was your boyfriend, but as you curled up next to him and slowly drifted off to sleep, you couldn’t imagine anyone else making you feel as happy or as loved as he could.

“Do you understand what time it is?” The sound of Oikawa’s voice pulled you back from the depths of sleep and you blink your eyes tiredly, the numbers on your alarm clock coming into focus and revealing that it was still the middle of the night. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He was clearly on the phone with someone, and before you could roll over and ask him if everything was okay, you hear him whisper the caller’s name. Your heart immediately drops to your stomach, knowing right away who he was talking to. When you’d finally decided to give your heart to Oikawa, you’d thought you’d taken everything into account. His career. His fame. His fans. For some reason it had never occurred to you to worry about his exes.

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” You could tell Oikawa felt awkward by the tone of his voice. “Do you really think I’m the right person to talk to though? We’re not together anymore.”

You squeeze your eyes shut and try to calm yourself. He’d never given you a reason not to trust him before, and it wasn’t his fault if his ex was calling him in the middle of the night. Oikawa had told you about them before though, and you couldn’t help the memories that sprung up from those conversations. You knew how much they’d meant to him, and how they’d hurt him when they left, giving him an ultimatum between their relationship and his volleyball career. It had made you mad to hear about that. Loving Oikawa meant accepting all of him, including his love for volleyball, and you could never imagine asking him to give it up for you. Still, if even a hint of his feelings for his ex still existed inside him, who knew what talking to them again might mean for you.

“I can’t do this right now,” Oikawa’s tone was getting impatient. “I don’t know. Maybe. Fine. Goodnight.” You hear him set his phone back on the nightstand and let out a sigh. After a moment, he lays back down and tries to get comfortable.

“Tooru?” you whisper.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up,” you listen for any hints of guilt or panic in his voice. “Did you hear all that?”

“Kind of,” you weren’t going to lie.

“I shouldn’t have even answered,” he admits softly while snaking an arm around your waist. “It’s just been so long and I was surprised.”

“Is everything all right?” you ask.

“I guess so,” his words come out muffled against your back. “Let’s just go back to sleep, okay?”

“Okay.” You wanted to ask him if you had anything to worry about, and if he planned on getting in touch with them again. You had so many questions that you knew were rooted in insecurity, so you held back from asking so as not to insult the trust you’d built up over your time together. You’d handled every other obstacle in your relationship so far, so hopefully this one wouldn’t cause too much disruption either. At the end of the day, it was up to Oikawa to choose who he wanted by his side. And until he gave you a reason to believe otherwise, you decided to just be thankful that, for the moment, that person seemed to be you.

[twomoonstwosuns]

graduation.

back to you [series masterlist]

previous part · next part

pairing: professor!poe dameron x reader

warning: a swear word or two

word count: 3.3k

a/n: ok I have not proofread this, I wanted to get it up before I was out of town for the weekend! I hope you enjoy this, I can’t BELIEVE we’re almost at the end. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

“Why are we standing outside the field house?”

“I’m watching them unload the truck. They’re hauling a thousand plus chairs into the football field for graduation tomorrow.”

You followed Jessika’s line of sight, watching as staff members moved rows of folded up chairs on dollies from the moving truck and into the back entrances of the football field. Jessika sighed heavily and you looked at her. 

“Reminiscing already? We haven’t even graduated yet.”

“I’m not reminiscing,” Jessika said, not taking her eyes off the movers as she sat down on the grass. “I’m wondering how anyone’s going to be able to understand anything that’s being said across an open football field.”

You snickered as you sat down next to her, watching as they finished unloading the first set of chairs. 

“What are you even doing here?” Jessika asked. 

“I was on my way back from dropping off a paper and I saw you.”

Jessika nodded, shifting so her legs were outstretched in front of her. 

“You ready for this?”

“Not at all. You?”

She shook her head. “Glad I’m not the only one.”

You bumped her shoulder against hers, a sign of support. 

Finals were done. Final papers turned in, exams taken, and anything you had checked out from the library as a resource was returned. Packing had already begun for Karé, who was beginning to move things into Snap’s apartment. The lease for your apartment was up in July, still a month and a half to figure things out. But while Karé knew what she was doing, you did not. 

You didn’t know what would happen when you moved out. Would you go home and live with your mom…almost an hour away from Poe? Or would you move in with him despite only being together for less than four months?

You didn’t know and it was making you anxious.

“Hey!”

Karé and Snap walked towards you hand-in-hand. 

“What’re you guys doing here?” Snap asked as they approached you, looking over towards the field where you were just looking. 

“Just…thinking about tomorrow,” you answered. “How’d you know we were here?”

“I used your location to find you.” Karé said. 

“Okay, creepy.”

“Well, it was better than calling you and saying ‘where are you, we need to tell you something’ because then you’d be worried.”

You glanced at Jessika, the both of you standing up. 

“Wait, what is going on?”

Snap sighed. “You remember that job I interviewed for at three weeks ago? I got it.”

“Snap! Congratulations!”

“They want to send me to their London office.”

Yours and Jessika’s smiles faltered. Snap looked at Karé and squeezed her hand. “We talked about it and we’ll be moving to London at the end of the summer.”

“Y—You’re moving?” Jessika asked quietly. Karé nodded.

“At the end of the summer. Which means we have three and a half months that we’re still here.”

You swallowed thickly and looked at Snap, who gave you a soft smile. 

“We’ll fly you guys out there anytime you want. They’re starting me at a high salary so I can afford it…you know, because I’m kind of a genius.”

You laughed and shoved his shoulder. “Yeah, for a guy who was late to pretty much every class, you did okay.”

Snap chuckled and shoved you back and you smiled sadly at him. 

“So?” Karé asked hesitantly. “What do you think?”

Jessika put her arm around Karé’s and put her head on her shoulder. “I think I miss you guys already.”

Karé held her arm out to you and you stood next to her, holding your own arm out for Snap. He stepped in, the four of you hugging each other like you’d never see each other again.

And so it hit a little harder when President Organa congratulated all of you and had you move your tassels to the other side of your caps. 

Black caps flew into the air as cheering filled the air. The bright sun shone down over a thousand new college graduates as they celebrated loudly and hugged their friends, their college careers now at an end. Friends and family members stood and applauded their loved ones, wiping tears away as they celebrated a major milestone. 

You hugged the friends that sat around you, the excitement and happiness eclipsing any other emotion you were feeling. Music started playing, a signal for the graduates to head out. You followed the line of black robes, looking amongst the stands for your Poe and your family, making eye contact with the latter and waving at them. The minute you got outside the football field, you thought up a meeting place for your friends to meet you for pictures and you grabbed your phone and texted both your family and Poe. 

I’ll meet you guys by the fountain in front of the field house for pictures!

“Y/N.”

It was the second time you’d heard his voice call your name at school in a matter of months, only this time it didn’t make you angry. When you turned and saw your father standing a few feet away from you with his hands in his pockets, you felt nervous.

“You made it,” you said, giving him a soft smile that he returned. 

“I did. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” You took a step towards him, looking back at the direction in which you were just heading. “I’m, um…meeting everyone just over there if you want to follow me.”

“Actually, I was going to head out. I just wanted to see you before everyone else got here. We’re rebuilding our relationship and I want to take it slow, not put any pressure on you or make things more awkward.”

You nodded, the air around you becoming a little awkward. 

“The ceremony was nice,” he said, the small talk of strangers nearly making you laugh at how ridiculous it seemed. “Kind of slow, though.”

“Oh god, so slow.”

He chuckled, the sound warm, familiar, and full of memories of easier times. 

“So…how do you feel?”

You shrugged. “So far, if just feels like I’m going on summer break like I do every year. But I’m sure it’ll really hit me when I start working full time and when I don’t go back to school in the fall.”

“Do you have anything lined up yet?”

“Not yet, but I do have an interview on Thursday in Los Angeles.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great.”

A warm smile crossed your face and he reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope.

“Um…this is for you.”

You took a few steps towards him, taking the envelope out of his hand and opening it. Inside was a check, the amount big enough to make your jaw fall to the floor. 

“I…I can’t take this…” You held the envelope and the check back out for him to take and he gently pushed it back towards you. 

“Not everyone gets a job right out of college, let alone one they love and want to make a career out of. You can pay off your student loans and the rest of it will make sure you’re comfortable doing whatever until you do find that job…so you can start your life.”

Your lip quivered and you looked up at him with tears in your eyes. “Dad…”

“I was going to give this to you on your wedding day, but with everything we went through this year, everything I’ve put you through…I felt this was the more appropriate time to give it to you.” You sniffled and he put his hand on your shoulder. “This isn’t a bribery to make you like me again and I know it can’t make up for the hell I put you through, but you deserve it. I am so, so proud of you and I love you very much. And I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

He was taken aback when you wrapped your arms around him but soon returned the hug, kissing the top of your head as a few tears trailed down your cheeks. You looked up at him and wiped a stray tear away. 

“Thank you.” 

He nodded and gave you a warm smile. Stepping back, you started to fan your face with your hand.

“Crap, I can’t remember if I put on waterproof mascara this morning.”

He chuckled, taking an opened pack of travel tissues out of his pocket. 

“I shed a few tears watching you walk across that stage,” he admitted as he took one of the tissues and dabbed under your eyes. “You did indeed put on waterproof mascara.”

You smiled as you wiped the remaining tears from your cheeks. He put the tissues back in his pocket and looked at his watch. 

“I should go, let you meet up with everyone. Coffee next week?”

“Friday morning ok?”

He nodded and you gave him another hug, kissing his cheek as you did. 

“I’m so glad you made it. And thank you so much for the gift. it’s…more than I think I deserve.” He put his hand on your cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Y/N.”

He kissed your forehead before leaving and you watched him until he was lost amongst the bustle of 

students before continuing to the designated meeting place. Tallie and your mom were already there, looking around for you until they finally spotted you.

“There you are!”

You walked into your mom’s embrace, followed by Tallie, who’s seven month pregnant belly was making it a little harder to hug. When you pulled back, your mom put both your hands on your cheeks. 

“My baby all grown up and done with college!” You giggled and rolled your eyes playfully.

“Where’s Chris?”

“I sent him ahead to start getting things set up at the park,” Tallie said. “So…where’s the boyfriend? I’m dying to meet him.”

“He’s probably saying congrats to other students or talking to other professors. He’s a popular teacher. I told him we’d meet up here and if he misses us then to just come to the park.”

“‘Popular’, huh?”

“Shut up, Tallie.”

“Girls…” Your mother’s warning tone made you shut your mouth. Looking at Tallie, you muttered an apology and fiddled with the envelope in your hand, forgetting for a moment what it was. 

“Can you hang onto this for me?” You held the envelope out to your mom and she glanced at it as she took it. “It’s a gift. From dad.”

She smiled softly and placed it in her purse. “So he made it.”

You nodded. 

“And? How do you feel?”

“I feel….okay.” You smiled softly at the memory of the interaction that had happened just moments ago. “It felt normal. I hugged him, which I know doesn’t seem like a huge thing…”

“It is though,” Tallie said. “You really struggled with this. It’s a good first step.…” 

She trailed off in the middle of her sentence and you furrowed your brow. 

“Tal?”

“Okay, don’t look now, but there is a very handsome man looking at you and walking towards us.”

You looked where she was looking behind you and smiled when you saw the one other person you were waiting for.

“Excuse me a sec…”

You ran to Poe as fast as your wedges would let you and you jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly. He kissed you sweetly, knowing your family’s eyes were on you. You didn’t know if people around you were seeing you kiss your professor and gossiping. And quite frankly, you didn’t care if they were. You were too happy. Poe pecked your lips several times before setting you down.

“Congratulations, baby. Cum laude, huh?” he asked, smiling widely and tugging on the extra cord around your shoulders. You nodded bashfully. 

“Yeah…your girlfriend’s smart.” 

He chuckled. “Well, I knew that already. Guess I just didn’t know how smart.” 

You giggled as he flirted with you, the butterflies you felt in your belly the moment you met him still very alive. Tallie called your name and you glanced back at them, biting your lip nervously as they looked at you expectantly. 

“It’ll be fine, Y/N,” Poe said reassuringly, rubbing his hands up and down your arms. “Unless you want to wait.”

“No, I don’t. I’m just nervous….but let’s do it.”

You grabbed his hand and he gave it a reassuring squeeze as you walked over to your mom and sister. 

“Mom, Tallie, this is my boyfriend Poe.”

He smiled warmly and shook Tallie’s hand before your mom’s. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Good things, I hope.”

“Nothing but good things.”

“Oh bull, I’m sure she’s bitched about me one time or another.”

You shot Tallie a look like ‘what the hell?’ and Poe chuckled. “Well, that’s what sister’s do, right? I’m an only child so I’m just assuming.”

Tallie smirked at him. “No, you’re right. I’m just giving her a hard time.”

You ran a hand down your face, your cheeks tinting red in embarrassment. The sound of your name made you turn your head and you saw Jessika, Karé, and Snap walking towards you. Your mother immediately opened her arms for your friends and hugged them tightly. 

“Can we do a few pictures here before we head over to the party?”

Your mother opened her mouth to answer but Tallie cut her off. 

“I’ll take them. Mom, you talk to Poe.”

You glared at her as Jessika pulled you over towards the fountain. As Tallie took pictures, you kept glancing at Poe talking to your mother and looking for any signs of disapproval. They smiled politely at each other and even laughed a little bit and the more they did it, the more you relaxed through your pictures. 

“So…” Tallie asked when she finished up taking pictures. “What are you and Poe doing now?”

You waved at your friends as they rejoined their families, promising to meet you at the park later for your party. “I don’t know.”

“Are you moving in with him?”

“Probably not. I don’t know.”

“What do you know?”

“I know I have a job interview in L.A. next week on the same day Poe has his job interview.”

“L.A. Really? Does Poe know?”

“Yes, he does.”

“What’re you going to do if you get it?”

“For god's sake Tallie, I don’t know. Enough with the interrogation.”

“I’m not interrogating, I’m just asking—“

“I literally just graduated, we don’t know what’s happening yet.”

“Girls…”

You sighed heavily and looked at your mom, who had interrupted her conversation with Poe to give you and Tallie a second warning tone. You weren’t interested in hearing a third one. Tallie’s phone pinged in her hand and she looked at it before looking at you and your mom. 

“It’s Chris, he says the food is just arriving, we should get going.”

“I’m gonna stop by my apartment and get different shoes but I’ll meet you guys there.” You looked at Poe, who took his car keys out of his pocket. “We’ll meet you there.”

Your mom kissed your head and waved at Poe before heading towards the parking lot with Tallie in tow. She shouted a very loud “no quickies!” back at you and you flipped her off as she disappeared towards the parking lot.  

“I’ll go grab my car…since you’re coming over to my apartment after the party anyway.”

You smiled and nodded, pecking Poe’s lips before heading in the direction of your apartment. It was a short distance away and you took the time to look around as you walked.

You thought about your first few days on campus, how nervous you were that you weren’t going to make any friends and make all the wrong decisions that would get you kicked out. You remembered the first party you went to, how you got so embarrassingly drunk so quickly that you were the laughing stock of your dorm hall for weeks. You remembered staying up until five in the morning with Karé and Jessika listening to Karé talk about her first date with Snap…and now they were moving to the other side of the world. 

So much growing up had been done in four short years and you regretted making fun of Jessika for reminiscing the day before. It was exactly what you were doing now. 

You got to your apartment and quickly found your sandals, changing out of them and grabbing your sunglasses. Poe was already outside your building when you got back down to the entrance. 

“Beebs!” You exclaimed as you got to the car. You had seen the little dog’s head through the back window but thought maybe it was a reflection of something else. 

“I figured he could run around while we enjoy the party, get him some fresh air and room to run around. He’s good off the leash.”

“Tallie is going to love that, she loves dogs.”

He smiled as he put the car in drive, but you put your hand on his.

“Wait…can we just sit a minute?” Poe nodded and put the car back in park as he looked over at you.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just…the last half hour was so rushed with meeting up with people and pictures and I just want to relax a minute.”

“Just not too long though, otherwise your sister will make jokes about us being late.”

You giggled as you leaned back against the seat, closing your eyes and sitting still for a minute. Poe put his hand on your knee, rubbing it so slowly you’d thought you’d fall asleep. When you finally re-opened your eyes, you gave him a soft smile and nodded. 

“Okay. I’m good now.”

He gave your knee an affectionate pat and pulled away from the curb in the direction of the park.

“I want to ask you something.” Poe glanced at you and raised his eyebrows and you turn to look at him. “So, I’m graduated now…”

He chuckled. “Yes you are, that’s why we sat through that three hour long ceremony with the same speeches I’ve heard four years in a row now.”

“Oh ha ha,” you said with a smile. “Anyway, graduating means I won’t be going to school here or living on campus…I guess what I’m asking is what we’re going to do…”

“Well…I’ll make it really simple.” You swallowed hard and he stopped at a red light and looked at you. “I love you and whatever happens with you finding a job or moving back home, I still want to be with you. We’ll find a way to make it work, we’ve done it all year long.”

Sitting back in your seat, you gave him a small smile. 

“Well, good. I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

Poe shot you a humored smile, his eyes lighting up.

“When do you fly to L.A.?”

“I leave very early Thursday morning, interview at 10a.m, then lunch with Finn, and then I fly home. I should be home like 8ish…if you want me to come over.”

“I always want you to come over.”

“Then I’ll come over and you can tell me all about your interview and I’ll tell you about mine.”

He pulled up to the park where you could see people gathered just a few hundred feet away. The trees were full and bright green, a stark contrast to the last time you had been at the park. The abandoned ice rink was a few feet away, the middle of it brown and unappealing to the eye from the mud and puddles that took up most of the space. 

“Think I can convince you to go ice skating again this winter?” Poe smirked as he eyed the empty ice rink. 

“Only if you catch me when I fall.” You sputtered out a laugh as you internally cringed. “I’m sorry, that sounded so cliché, like ‘don’t chase me unless you’re ready to catch me’ nonsense. But seriously, do not let me fall on my ass.”

“You watch too many romantic comedies.” You nodded because he wasn’t wrong. The cheesy plots and pick up lines were comforting to you. “Besides, I thought I told you I liked the bruises on your ass.”

You shoved his shoulder and he laughed as he caught your arm and kissed you. You giggled against his lips. 

“Shut up, lets go to the party.”

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[aerialcedrick]

PINTEREST | MUSINGS | INTRO | TASKS

[ DA’VINCHI, HE/HIM, CIS MAN ]  —  [ CEDRICK CHANDLER ]  is a grandchild of  [ HERMES & EROS ]  with the power of  [ ENHANCED SPEED & WING MANIFESTATION ] .  they were born in  [ 1998 ]  and have been in nemean lion since  [ 2016 ] .  with the change, they [ ARE TRAINING IN ]  the  [ HERO ]  role which makes sense since they’re usually  [ LIFTING WEIGHTS OR TEACHING YOUNGER NEMEAN LION KIDS SPORTS ] .  if you’d like to meet them try the  [ SUN ]  building .  

GENERAL

Full Name: Cedrick Chandler  Nickname(s): Ricki  Age: 23  Date of Birth: December 13, 1998  Hometown: Baltimore, Maryland

FAMILY

Parents: Jenelle Chandler (mother) & Leroy Chandler Sr. (father, non-biological), Hermes (grandparent) Eros (grandparent) Sibling(s): Leroy “Roy/Junior” Chandler Jr. 16, Zeke “Zee” Chandler 9 (younger brothers, non-demigods)  Pet(s): Female Doberman Pinscher named Kahlúa    Family’s Financial Status: Middle Class

BIOGRAPHY

Ricki’s parents had him young. Jenelle, a child of Hermes, had chosen to live a life separate from her godly relatives. She had the power of omnilingualism and was studying foreign policy in undergrad, keeping the secrets of her skills to herself. College is the time for experimenting, and a threesome with a child of Eros left Jenelle and Leroy with a baby they didn’t know what to do with. Jenelle took a leave of absence from school to carry but never returned and Leroy finished his degree. The couple tried to look at Ricki’s conception as an act of love, something they both took part in, and decided against a paternity test in favor of raising him as their own. 

Ricki was 6 by the time Junior was born and wasn’t showing any signs of being a demigod. His speed felt like a gift and they put him in sports young, having played little league, soccer, and eventually running track in high school. Jenelle had a feeling he’d inherited his speed from her lineage, but never put that pressure on Ricki. Ricki was always a popular, likable guy and is incredibly close to his father. He loves kids and would do anything for his little brothers. He was a gifted athlete and though the Chandlers knew his skills were likely genetic, from Hermes, they chose to keep their kids out of the know.

Junior year of high school was when his wings were discovered. An uncontrollable itching in his back made him claw and scrape at his skin, unaware what the issue was. A few x-rays showed wings growing under his skin. That’s when his parents looked at each other and realized the truth: Ricki was not Leroy’s son. 

It took Ricki a long time to process this but he tried not to be distant, instead spending more time at the gym and hanging out with friends as a distraction. He started cutting class and lingering at the mall with the wrong crowd, even started stealing and getting into trouble. The day his parents told him they were sending him to NL he almost caused a riot. He’d worked hard, and having to admit that work wasn’t his own felt stolen. If it was up to him, he’d ignore the stretch in his back as long as he could.

When he got to NL he finally began embracing his powers out of a need to make an impression and show off. He liked being fast and knew with the right training from the right people he could be faster, better. Something about becoming a hero made him feel strong and important and special and he liked that. He got closer to Hermes, but still struggled to get close to Eros, and didn’t make any immediate efforts to work with his wings.

The growing pains got so bad that half way into coming to Nemean Lion Ricki started taking pain killers to help with the pain, but they made him distant and spacey. He didn’t take them long enough to form any strong reliance, and is going into this year trying to embrace his wings and learn to control them. He hopes to ask to shadow Levi, finally ready to take charge of his power. He wants to be proud, to learn how to soar. Also, he kinda can’t graduate from the hero track until he does.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: Da’Vinchi  Height: 6 ft 3 in  Style/Aesthetic: Athletic, track jackets, varsity jacket, jeans, basketball shorts, cleans up nice and always has his chain on. Has his ears pieced and one either has a silver hoop, little diamond, or hanging cross. Always has a fresh fade and always clean shaven.  Extras: Ricki is a HUGE sneaker head, the type to stand in line early when a special pair drops, and has a section in his room where some never worn sneakers are on display. He buys really expensive running shoes and has a few custom pairs he wears on special occasions. He’s serious about his kicks. Also he gets manicures with a clear coat so his nails are always on point/clean and he’s best friends with his manicure lady.

PERSONALITY

Positive Traits: charming, outgoing, approachable, compassionate, understanding, hardworking, optimistic, fair-minded, honest, spontaneous Negative Traits: inconsistent, reckless, overly confident, occasional bursts of anger, forgetful    Hobbies: Collecting sneakers, playing sports, he’s a bit of a show off, going to the gym, hanging out/needs to be around people  Habits: forgetful/will sometimes agree to double plans, has a hard time not moving and has a LOT of energy so if he’s still too long you’ll catch him bouncing his leg or pacing. Has issues with focusing for too long and has a short attention span. Over exerts himself.

EXTRA

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius  Temperament: Sanguine. Sanguines tend to be more extroverted and enjoy being part of a crowd; they find that being social, outgoing, and charismatic is easy to accomplish. Individuals with this personality have a hard time doing nothing and engage in more risk seeking behavior.  Moral Alignment: Neutral Good

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

Hometown friends/family friends 

Best friends/Good friends met at NL. Ricki is really social and definitely rolls with a few crews

A ride-or-die. I imagine Ricki has a lot of friends and is friends with almost everyone because he’ll go up and talk to anyone but he needs at least one day 1. I imagine Ricki has a close main crew that has a group chat and acts up together and would love to get a few chars together (4 or 5) to make that friend group dynamic a thing. Bonus: giant text threads hehe

Someone he’s super protective over, he would pull up in a second.

Additionally, someone who is super protective of him.

Others on the hero track he can train with.

A few enemies. I imagine some people think he’s annoying or a bit of a show off, he’s that kid that’s good at most things. Past friends who are current frenemies! Some friendly or unfriendly competition. Ricki doesn’t always feel the need to prove himself but unfortunately he never backs down from a challenge because he’s not a little bitch so he WILL agree to stupid dangerous shit.

People that were close to him when he was taking a lot of painkillers and would recognize a similar shift in his behavior.

Romances. Past flings or partners, someone who has a crush on him, someone he has a crush on, give me all of it! An almost-something-now-nothing. A friend who wants to use him to make someone else jealous but he’s in on it. Your char is his friend and he doesn’t like their partner/he’s your partners friend but your char doesn’t like him! Past lovers to friends, past lovers to enemies (bad breakup, now it’s all attitude). FWB. ALL OF IT. Ricki isn’t necessarily a player but he’s not that committal. He’s the type that comes off as boyfriend material but then forgets to text back and skips dates to train and then wanna act confused when you’re mad. Then he go and buy you ice cream and flash you his smile and you let him inside anyway.

Roommates/apartment mates in the sun building! 

Anything and everything!! Ricki is super versatile.

[calacuspr]

Calacus Weekly Hit & Miss – Tom Daley & Kentaro Kobayashi

Every Monday we look at the best and worst communicators in the sports world from the previous week.

HIT – TOM DALEY

Tom Daley is finally an Olympic champion.

After 13 years of trying, Daley, alongside diving partner Matty Lee, won Team GB’s second gold medal of the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games with victory in the men’s synchronised 10 metres platform.

"I still can't honestly believe what is happening.” Daley said. “That moment, being about to be announced as Olympic champions, I was gone. I was blubbering. To finally have this around my neck, I've been diving over 20 years.

"Lots of people would have counted me out but I'm in the best shape and with the support with Matty, we've had that unstoppable mentality this year and that's the first time I've ever been able to think like that.”

After winning Olympic gold medal at the fourth attempt, Daley must feel like an enormous weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

Ever since he burst onto the international stage at the Beijing Games in 2008, aged just 14, he has been in ever-present in the British media, not least as a result of the huge expectations he has faced from such a young age, but also because of his private life.

From the media attention about moving schools after being bullied in the wake of his initial diving success, to losing his dad Robert, who died following a battle with brain cancer, Daley has faced so many challenges on his long journey to Olympic glory.

The public eye has also constantly scrutinised his sexuality. Speaking on Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs in 2018, Daley admitted that he often felt inferior to everyone because of his uncertainty regarding his sexuality.  

But since coming out as gay in 2013, Daley has been a real inspiration and role model for so many young, gay people.

After winning gold, he said: “I came out in 2013 and when I was younger I always felt like the one that was alone and different and didn’t fit. There was something about me that was never going to be as good as what society wanted me to be.

“I feel incredible proud to say that I am a gay man and also an Olympic champion.”

He added: "I am a gay man and also an Olympic champion. And I feel very empowered by that because when I was younger I felt I was never going to achieve anything because of who I was."

Olympic gold arrives in Daley’s first Games since become a father to son Robbie - who is named after his late father.

“Being a father was a massive turning point in my career as an athlete,” Daley admitted. “I realised whether I did really well or terribly I can go home to a husband and son who love me regardless.

“Feeling that and knowing that love is unconditional, I can take that pressure off myself, enjoy it and say I'm doing it because I love to do it.”

Speaking about his husband and his child in front of the world media, next to athletes from China, a country where neither would be permitted for a gay man, Daley continues to act as a key spokesperson for the LGBTQ+ community and for LGBTQ+ rights.

His words have been widely praised by sporting stars, with Gary Lineker tweeting: “Absolute inspiration to so many. Well said and well played @TomDaley1994”.

Two-time Olympic champion rower James Cracknell also praised Daley on Twitter, saying: “So pleased for @tomdaley pioneered for his sport, was overwhelminghly supportive when other divers won GB’s first diving gold in 2016. But backed himself to perform in @tokyo2020 enjoy it and well done @mattydiver”.

Daley has overcome so many obstacles in his journey to achieving Olympic success, which highlight just how mentally strong and how much of role model he is.

Still just 27, he has played a vital role in transforming the sport of diving in the UK over the years and continues to inspire the next generation of athletes.  

Tom Daley has captured the hearts of a nation and is a deserved Olympic hero.

MISS – KENTARO KOBAYASHI

The Olympic Games may be somewhat different this year, given the delays and lack of crowds and visitors caused by the COVID-19 pandemic.

But the Games have always stood for inclusion, friendship and respect for others.

So it was no surprise that the show director of the Tokyo 2020 opening ceremony was dismissed a day before the event was held after offensive comments were discovered from the 1990s.

Footage emerged of Kentaro Kobayashi, a former member of a popular comedy duo Rahmens , in which he appeared to make jokes about the Holocaust and was quoted saying “Let’s play massacre the Jews.”

Given the terrible loss of life to military and civilians, including a quarter of a million people killed by the nuclear bombs in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Kobayashi’s comments could not have been less appropriate.

Kobayashi at least issued a statement responding to his dismissal and said: “It should never be the job of an entertainer to make people feel uncomfortable.

“I understand that my choice of words at the time was wrong, and I regret it. I would like to apologise for making people feel uncomfortable. I am very sorry.”

The Simon Wiesenthal Center condemned the anti-Semitic ‘jokes’ with Global Social Action Director, Rabbi Abraham Cooper saying: “Any person, no matter how creative, does not have the right to mock the victims of the Nazi genocide.

“The Nazi regime also gassed Germans with disabilities. Any association of this person to the Tokyo Olympics would insult the memory of six million Jews and make a cruel mockery of the Paralympics.”

Kobayashi’s departure is the fourth senior Tokyo 2020 executive to depart ahead of the Games.

Earlier last week, one of the event’s composers, Keigo Oyamada, resigned after old magazine interviews resurfaced in which he joked about bullying other children at school, including classmates with intellectual disabilities.

In March, creative chief Hiroshi Sasaki quit after suggesting that plus-size comedian Naomi Watanabe could appear as an ‘Olympig’ while in February, Yoshiro Mori was forced to resign as the head of the organising committee after he made remarks that women talked too much and that meetings with female board directors would “take a lot of time.”

Tokyo 2020 Organising Committee President Seiko Hashimoto said of Kobayashi’s dismissal: “We found out that Mr. Kobayashi, in his own performance, has used a phrase ridiculing a historical tragedy.

“We deeply apologise for causing such a development the day before the opening ceremony and for causing troubles and concerns to many involved parties as well as the people in Tokyo and the rest of the country.”

Another embarrassing scandal in Japan revolving around the Olympic Games can be an opportunity, according to Sayuri Shirai, a professor of economics at Japan's Keio University.

“Discrimination was never a major issue, so many people are careless. A lot of foreign media pay so much attention (to the Olympic Games), so every negative issue is under the spotlight...

“People are starting to be more sensitive about discriminatory expression," she said, adding that the scandals was a “good opportunity for Japan” to think more about discrimination and diversity.

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

Life Is Proud: Life Of Agony’s Mina Caputo: “I don’t like being called transgender or transsexual… I’m a beautiful human being”

Pioneering Life Of Agony singer Mina Caputo opens up about letting go of the past, spirituality, and the Pride movement during the third instalment of Kerrang!’s Life Is Proud campaign.

“You’re setting off landmines inside of me!” says Mina Caputo. We’re 35 minutes into a filmed interview which we are conducting as part of Kerrang!’s Life Is Proud campaign in celebration of Pride Month.

Our conversation thus far has embraced everything from the work of psychologist Carl Jung and his study of the dark side of the mind through to the disinformation of modern media, and on to the liberating impact of artists such as Robert Plant and Freddie Mercury.

The ​“landmines”, though, consist of a few questions about Mina’s remarkable career and her own journey to find herself. They do, indeed, trigger explosions – delivered with her customary frankness and forays into deeply emotional territory.

Mina’s story starts in Brooklyn where she was born in December 1973. At the age of one, she lost her mother to an overdose. Her father was also an addict – ​“I grew up pulling dope needles out of my dad’s arm,” she told Kerrang! last year – and when he OD’d she had to identify his body. Both moments, she says, armed her to face the real world, providing her with ​“spiritual juice” as she also began to seek solace in music.

Raised by her Italian-American grandparents in a brutally traditional atmosphere, Mina experienced a sense of gender dysphoria from a young age – something she carried with her when she formed alternative metal band, Life Of Agony, in her teens. Her sense of alienation increased as the band’s popularity grew and she continued to feel at odds with the bristling machismo, muscle-flexing and sheer violence within the East Coast scene.

“Life Of Agony were a very different band from the jump,” she says. ​“But that time taught me to protect my neck. It taught me how to be afraid of my own unique authenticity. The first five or 10 years of my career, we were abused. There were lots of comments, like I’m a gay junkie, because I looked differently and I sang differently. We were left out of scenes and we were left off bills. But I knew why: because were bad-ass and we rose to the top really, really fast. People didn’t like that. Other bands didn’t like that.”

For Mina, her quest to find herself had become a key issue which she had to address. In a conservative scene, her experimentation with her image and sense of sexual exploration came at a price.

“I started painting my fingernails and toenails with Jonathan [Davis] on a tour with Ozzy Osbourne and Korn [in 1996], and that was seen as rebellious!” she smiles. ​“And I started going onstage wearing a big women’s fur coat and getting so much shit for just being different – and for being someone unlike the scene had ever really seen. I was a trendsetter, a physical trendsetter. And being in that scene, it was horrifying.”

Things came to a head following the release of Soul Searching Sun, Life Of Agony’s third album, in 1997, when Mina finally decided her only option was to leave the band. Against all odds, LOA would reform in 2003 and continue to release a string of acclaimed albums, their story documented in the no-holds barred documentary The Sound Of Scars.

“I felt afraid, I felt like dying,” reflects Mina on the struggles she endured as she quit the band. ​“I felt like my cellular structure was continuously dying and I wasn’t alive or living, I wasn’t sharing my true self. I was definitely afraid. It took me to quit the band because I wasn’t being true to myself. I had to get away from my band, the label, everyone I worked with.”

A hugely varied solo career spanning over 10 albums and endless collaborations followed, but Mina still feels that history weighs heavily on her.

“No-one wants to let go of my past story. Every lame rock journalist starts of the article in the same way because there’s no more creative writing anymore. Everyone’s cutting and pasting. ​‘Mina Caputo – once Keith Caputo’,” she snorts.

“Everyone has to keep reintroducing the fact that I’m a freak, born anatomically a boy. No shit! I’m a different creature. I’m not trying to be a boy, or trying to fit into your dickhead masculine world! Nor am I trying to fit into the genetic female world. I don’t give a fuck! I don’t give a fuck about fitting into your marginalised soulless, fear-based spiritually bankrupt world. I’ve gone my own world, my own internal world. I’ve got my music. I’ve got small selection of friends. I’ve got my money. I’ve got my divine protection. I’ve got my studies. I’m not a stupid motherfucker! I study quantum physics! I study Hopi American prophecies! I study philosophy. I’m well-equipped for this fucking world!”

Mina’s bravery in the face of adversity remains inspirational. Experiencing the distrust of ​‘otherness’ during her childhood, she has battled against prejudice most of her adult life. And, yet, she admits that her decision to come out as transgender in 2011 was far from easy.

“It was very, very scary,” she reflects. ​“I didn’t tell a lot of people until my body started to change and I couldn’t hide it anymore. For the first year of hormone therapy, I kept it hidden.”

She is also honest enough to admit that, even a decade on, she still suffers from moments of self-doubt.

“It’s not like, ​‘I’ve arrived! I’m fucking whole!’” Mina says, triggering another explosion. ​“I battle with things every day. Some days I think about going back to living as a guy. The pressure of the world, of politics, of the garbage surrounding me – if I let it get to me, I can get sick. My immunity will collapse if I let the world fuck with my power and who I am. And it’s a good thing that I’ve been doing yoga for 30 years. I’ve been meditating for just as long. Thank the ancient gods and that I’ve downloaded the wisdom codes to give me the strength to carry on.”

Mina’s self-preservation and spirituality is evident in most of her interviews, and yet her quest has also contributed to her ongoing sense of frustration with the world she sees around her.

“I think I am a gentle and considerate human being and I believe in true equality. I want everyone to be in love with their lives and the planet itself,” she nods. ​“That’s what life is about, but there are people and organisations that try and get in the way of that so I get frustrated and angry about that.

“Society, the political paradigm, all of it – it’s one big farce, one big façade! It’s very inorganic and anti-life. I don’t care if you’re Democratic or Republican, nobody is leading with love. Nobody!” she continues. ​“Even in Britain. Your policies around trans people – and it’s the same in America – they’re trying so very fucking hard to continuously disempower the human species!”

The idea of codification is something that Mina frowns upon, so how does she view the Pride movement as a whole?

“Pride is a very ego-driven ideology and I work really hard to cut the strings of my ego,” she explains. ​“Pride means different things to different people. The LGBTQ community wants love from the outside world, but I think the LGBTQ community needs to start loving on one another. We’re never going to get respect from the rest of the world if you don’t do that. You have gay guys constantly coming down on trans girls, you’ve got trans girls coming down on trans girls, you’ve got a new fucking word every day and you can’t say this or you can’t say that.

“If Pride gives people a feeling of wholeness, then it’s a good thing. I know it makes a lot of people happy. But you’ve got to create your own circle in a sense rather than be defined by someone else’s narrative.”

Describing herself as ​“a lone wolf”, Mina concludes our conversation by pointing out her issues with the labels ascribed to individuals by society.

“I don’t like being called transgender, or transsexual, or trans-this or trans-that. I’m a beautiful human being. I’m a gender-creative child. I’m very different. I don’t subscribe to these one-dimensional ideas. My mind is too vast, my mind is like the Dao, you know? I wear my heart on my sleeve all the time and that’s what being genuine and authentic is all about,” she offers as one of her parting shots. ​“But if you’re asking me how I am? I’m full of love, full of harmony and thankfulness. What else do you want?”