#but idk i need to live in the moment and not be bogged down by things of the past

[redriverstyx]

have a gcse exam thingy 2morrow 💀

[emmetofthestars]

in short Horny medic fans need to like calm down. anyways. medic acts in his own interest and curiosity and And He is not a fucking slut if anyone says that one more time im actually killing you. he would not blush and giggle. he would not be in a fucking. normal romantic relationship. and not in a sexual one either. i dont even fuckinf care about the ""tension"" in meet the medic. medic and heavy are good coworkers. but medic isnt. a good person. or normal. he lies to heavys face that ribs grow back and pinches his cheeks. youre talking to a fucking adult why are you doing that to him. i dont think he sees heavy or people in general like people. and he most definitely has a god complex no doubt. do you think mister God complex and mad scientist wants to be with his coworker and patient. And if he does then you cant make it smoochey lovey dovey garbage. it would be one sided as Hell. heavy would be pissed the fuck off. also ok im aware now this is just my interpretation but i think medic sees heavy like a pet. but thats really based off of that single clip in meet the medic. i really dont know how to talk about the comic in general bro. like. uhm. im not saying medic CANT like his teammates at all. he loves his team. but like. MAN IDK. i hate the comic. jk i love the comic. Ok he would and does give himself up for his team that is part of his job anyways. he is a little selfless. he does want his team to live. that is true. he can have his moments of normalcy and respect for Basic human rights as a treat. derailing now im just sick of heavy being used as a prop for medic ship art. im also sick of medic just being treated like a quirky gay. its extremely boring when thats his entire god damn personality. like even his immorality and mad scientist trope is bogged down for the sake of Quirky gay. if you put him in a modern au and he fucking stops torturing and experimenting on people without a trace of remorse then thats not medic thats just a random german man. thats just your oc. Uhm

[obscureoperations]

idk if ur doing requests or not but if you are how would Martin Abraham and Whiteface react to the reader coming crying for some reason ?

I am doing requests, at a snail’s pace apparently..

 Good question Anon... really good question!

Martin:

All over you in a hot second. You were upset, the thought alone left him completely distraught. Instantly taking the blame, did he hurt you somehow? The sight of your tears seemed to set off a protective streak. "You're crying y/n.. what did I do?"

He always felt that one day you would wake up and question just what were you doing with him. For the longest, he treated you with kid gloves, in fear of disrupting your relationship. You allowed him so much freedom to deal with his sickness..he only hoped you were comfortable enough to confide in him if you needed.

Time passed, and Martin grew more comfortable, but still he hated seeing you in pain. The moment the first tear spills from your eye, he holds you close. "It's alright y/n...just breathe."

Whiteface:

There wasn't much that your shy boyfriend could say to you that you couldn't read from the expression on his face. Endlessly expressive. You knew that he could speak, he just actively chose not to. You learned to pick up on his gestures soon enough.

He chose to live a silent life, but sometimes, you just really needed him to speak. Warm hands caress your shoulder blades as you step into the hallway. Residual stress and worry bogging you down--the tears spill despite your best efforts.

The mime gently ushers you to the couch, the majority of his grease paint sloppily removed. Remnants of white stick to the hollows of his cheeks and forehead. The sight of his actual face seems to calm you. He takes your hand gently kissing your palm.

"Alright?"

His voice was so soft. Practically undetectable if he hadn’t been sitting so close. Limber fingers ghost along your arms as he pulls you in, burying his face against the crook of your neck.

"You'll be alright...y/n. I swear."

Abe:

Softness wasn't even in the realm of his vocabulary, that was why he found himself completely disarmed. Something about you triggered Abe's protective streak. It was rare that he felt comfortable leaving you completely alone.

For the first month, caged up like his own little pet, Abraham learned to care for your basic needs. He wanted to keep you held up in one of the kennels, but within a week, he decided that you needed an actual room. A room with a bed. His bed in particular. You were his whether you knew it or not.

He liked to bring you food as an offering. That was how his family chose to display their gratitude. A successful kill that brought a new body to harvest would often lead to an elaborate feast.

He could tell you were in a way the moment he got home, he decided to give you some space. Whistling to himself as he got undressed and stepped into the shower. On a whim, he decided to leave the door open just to test you. “Just what did you need?”

After a while, he settles onto the couch with a cigarette and a glass of something brown.Eyeing you over the television as you sat slumped down at the dining table.

"Go on..eat your dinner darlin..there's no need for you be acting so upset.”

Those were the first words he actually spoke to you since he got home, the tears just begin to spil. A few travel down your cheeks undetected, but your face soon starts to crumble. Out of instinct, you place your hand over your mouth, Abe is at your side in an in instinct.

Wiping at your cheeks roughly. “What’s wrong with you.. huh?” The tears continue to spill as you try to look away. He was having none of it as he sinks down in an attempt to meet your gaze. Humiliated, already prepared for him to mock you relentlessly. Much to your surprise, his hand returns to your face. Wiping away the tears almost gently, the back of his fingers lightly brush over your eyelids. He brings the glass he was previously holding to your lips. “Here, Pookie, drink this..” 

You wince at the taste, but manage to get some of the liquid down, the burn coats your throat instantly. He settles down on the dingy carpet, eyeing you like some sort of curiosity. He leaves the glass in your hand to drink freely and begins to light up his cigarette. With a sigh he finally speaks.

“I wish you would just talk to me Pookie...Can you do that?”

You sniffle, bringing the glass to your lips. Sitting forward on his knees, he takes the glass, setting it on the table.Much to your surprise, he draws you in, holding you close to his chest. Patting your head almost awkwardly. “Just talk to me darlin.”

[super-kristuff]

Day two of Kingdom Hearts 3 live-blogging. Just finished the world for Tangled, and it was a very different experience. Without the strong unintentional sexual tension between Buzz and Woody, we find ourselves with the equally strong but much creepier sexual tension between Rapunzel and Flynn.

Like, I think there are a lot of reasons why Buzz and Woody's relationship is honestly well constructed as a standalone experience in kh3, and I'm a bit disappointed that Tangled seems to retreat to the more traditional KH story motif of "the movie but Sora is there". The Toy Story world wasn't modeled after any movie, and so, the story could focus on the character development and even include Sora as a driving force for that development. The Tangled world keeps the transition from introducing Flynn as an untrustworthy outlaw to Flynn and Rapunzel getting together, but like, Flynn is entirely absent for most of the story?

Playing through the world was a bit anticlimactic at the moment, but looking back, I think it was an intentional attempt to highlight Rapunzel's character. The story elements were much smaller: Rapunzel discovering dandelions, Rapunzel asking you to fetch some birds by slowly sneaking up to them, Rapunzel making a rainbow in a pond. But like, although it's not as action driven as fighting giant mechs, I think it is more subtle appreciation for the details of the world and how we can interact with them. I think it's rare to see games exploring this kind of space, and OH HEY Flynn doesn't do shit during any of it. Like, I think you can talk to him, and he says the bog-standard, "We should get to the castle!" quest pointer stuff.

My point being that game is built around Rapunzel and emphasizing the unique joy she finds in the world around her, and Flynn gets no character development until they need to shove him into the position of love-interest. Idk. Maybe I'm reading into this too much. Maybe it's fine for Flynn to a cardboard cutout of the Prince in Shining Armor purely to fill that role in Rapunzel's journey? Like, I also want to explicitly state the game makes some innuendos at the end and makes sure to bring up that Rapunzel is 18, and like, I just found that whole facet creepy.

I also wanted to talk about level design here because it was another element that detracted from the experience. Like, one of my absolute favorite elements of KH is it's puzzle-box level design. I think Alice in Wonderland is an iconic example of how KH1 manages to use and reuse space in a level. I think the tea-room has 5? 6 entrances? It's big, small, upside-down. You're on the table, above the ceiling, in the fireplace. It's fun and enjoyable to become familiar with a space and discover that the solution to a puzzle required you to enter the room from a different perspective.

KH3 seems to abandon that philosophy entirely. It's levels are complex, but often-times, just large enough that you can't get a grasp on how all the pieces go together. And, I'm not sure you're supposed to? The game takes its Line-Attraction-Gift shop philosophy quite literally. I've revisited Hercules' world, and although it felt more like classic KH, it was also extremely linear? The levels just don't fold in on themselves except in the most obvious of ways.

I don't know. In short, Tangled was a fun experience, but not as flashy as Toy Story. But, it's not trying to be flashy, which is its greatest strength. I'm a bit worried that KH3 is married to its design philosophy, but I'm also hoping we'll see original KH worlds with more creative level design. (Traverse Town, Hollow Basion, etc) (I'm also hoping there is more to Twilight Town? Like, it is literally a crime that the world is technically one area. It is also a crime that they removed skateboarding from TT.)

Anywho, it's late here. Goodnight.

[bogsbet]

The Jeweler

"UGHHHH WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!?!"

Y'know, it's not easy looking for a gift, especially if it's for your mentor and his former enemy, who is now his lover.

Yup, the gifts he's looking for are for the great sage of heaven and the shadow demon themselves, Monkey King and Six-eared Macaque. Shocking, ain't it?

They both started dating again after MK and the gang rescued him from Lady Bone Demon, following her defeat. After finally talking and admitting their mistakes, they both slowly became allies, to friends, to best friends, to lovers.

 And finally, After a few years of dating, The great sage finally popped the question when they were on a date by the waterfall, and the demon said yes. After they announced to the gang their engagement, obviously they're happy for them, especially MK, he wished them nothing but happiness for both of them.

Even though the wedding was planned for next year, MK is already looking for gifts for them. But what? He wants the gifts to be perfect for the two monkeys. Which leads him to the situation you're seeing right now.

"Ugh, this is harder than I thought!" MK exclaimed while walking with Mei by his side. "Well it was never easy to begin with, MK" She said while comforting the successor. "But I know you will find the perfect gift for them. Oh! What about the one I showed you?" She looked at him as MK looked up to her with the 'are you serious' look. "First of all, no, Second, they looked too way cliche, and third, If my wallet dies, you're paying for the funeral."

"Oh come on, I find them cute" Mei pouts, disagreeing with MK's statement. After walking around town with no luck, they both decided to called it a day and just try again the next day. "I gotta go pick something up first, it might take a while so don't wait for me and just do whatever you want. I'll be back, MK!" The small dragon waved at her monkey friend before leaving. MK waved back and sighed before he started to walk around again in defeat.

What could be the perfect gift for Monkey King and Macaque? It needs to be nice and perfect, and does not make the wallet cry. MK kept thinking before hearing a small giggled passed by. MK turned to see who it was and saw the figure dropped something on the ground. MK picked it up to what it seemed to be some kind of bracelet. The way it looked is quite beautiful, despite it looking so simple.

"Hey, you dropped this!" He ran after the figure. He had a bit of a difficulty due to so many people blocking the way but he managed luckily. He followed the stranger to a alley. He notice the figure wasn't in the alley. That's odd, he could've sworn the figure was here.

"Hello, my dear~" MK yelped by the sudden voice and felled on his butt. He looked up to see it was the stranger from before, the stranger giggled a bit before lending out his hand, offering to help him up. "I'm sorry for startling you, sweetie. Are you okay?" MK stared at the figure for a bit, the stranger appears to have a hat, covering half of his face, and seemed to be wearing some kind of cloak. The only thing he could make out is the gentle smile across his face. Mk glared at the figure before shooking his head, accepting his help and got up, patting the dust off of him.

"Sorry about that, I was going to give this back to you and-" MK cut off when he noticed the stranger isn't in front of him until he looked down...the stranger..is actually shorter than him. "Ah-OH! I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T SEE YOU, I MEAN, I MEAN I DID BUT-!" MK panicked and tries not to be awkward until the figure suddenly laughs at him. "It's okay, sweetheart. I'm used to it. And I see you got my bracelet." "Oh! Right! The bracelet, I was just gonna bring it to you since you dropped it."

MK gave the bracelet to the stranger. "You know, the bracelet is really pretty, where did you get it?" MK questioned, thinking he might help him for the gift. "I made it." The stranger replied. "Woah, really?! That's some talent you got there." The stranger smiled by his compliment. "You know, I heard you were looking for a gift for someone, I can be of help." "R-Really?! Can you really help me?!" MK eyes filled with hope while looking at the stranger. "Anything for the Monkie kid."

"Oh, you've heard of me?" "My child, if you lived in a society where piece is no longer the option, you got to know your information. Like, how you fought the demon bull king and nearly buried him with half of a building." "Oh...well I guess you know since it's all over the news." MK chuckled as he scratch the back of his head. "Or, what about the time where you squash the spider queen despite your fear of spiders." "Wait, wha-" How did he know that? There's no way other people know that. "Or maybe that one time where you finally gave the Lady bone demon her dreadful fate.." "..H-How did you know that..?" MK looked at the stranger with a shocked and confused look, there's no way this guy knows what happened. The stranger chuckled before tilting his hat up. "I have my ways, my dear."

The stranger revealed himself to be a monkey just like Wukong and Macaque, except he's shorter, has black and brown fur with markings on his face and pale yellow green eyes. This doesn't surprised MK since he met a few monkeys like him before but he kept his guard up. Knowing what happened before, once he trust someone he's not familiar with, things go wrong. "I heard you're looking for a gift, yes?” "Y-Yeah...For my mentor and his fiance.." "I see, well, if it's jewelry you're looking for, why not wedding rings?" The monkey questioned the mortal.

"Wedding rings?" MK looked at him with confusion. "Why wedding rings?" "Why not? Everyone has courtship bracelets so why not wedding rings? It's a good gift and they don't have to go to get them." The stranger smiled as his tail gently sway a bit. "I mean, I guess so....Okay, well go with that." MK agree to the idea, however he knows that everything is not for free.

"However, they don't come free, my darling" Of course they don't, well there's no going back now MK thought. "Just get on with it, please, just tell me what you want." The stranger chuckled by his response.

"What I want."

Oh god..

"Is.."

Here it comes..

"Chocolate"

....What?

"I-I'm sorry, what?" MK asked. "I wanted some chocolate." "C-Chocolate?" "Yes, chocolate" "Chocolate.." "Mhm" "....Chocolate..?" "Did I stuttered, dear?" He looked at MK while smiling. "Oh no no no no! That's not it!" MK denied while shooking his head and hands. "It's just....that's it?" "Mhm" "That's all you wanted..?" "Yes" "Just chocolate?" "That's right" "No money, or blood sacrifice or anything?!" asked the confused MK as the monkey laugh by his confusion. "Oh you mortals are so adorable with your imagination. But no, that is all I wanted. No money, no blood sacrifice, no offering of your sweet soul. Just some simple chocolate that you can find in a candy store. Can you do that, my dear?" The monkey looked up at the confused successor.

"I mean- I can, it's just...why chocolate..?" Asked the successor before hearing the monkey giggled. "My sweet little chimp, is it a sin to crave for something so sweet and irresistible? The moment you bite into it, the sweet creaminess mixed with the cacao really just filled your mouth with flavor~" The monkey giggled while thinking about it as MK just stood there, silently.

"Now do we have a deal?" The monkey looked at MK, offering him a handshake. MK looked at the monkey's hand, having second thoughts and doubts about this.. Should he really trust this monkey? He doesn't want to repeat the same mistake again.. But since the monkey looked harmless and does not seem to be some kind of threat.. I guess he can give him trust. "Deal." The Monkie kid shook his hand, accepting the deal as the monkey give out a small grin. "Good, now, I'll be on my way to get the materials, I already have ideas on my head. Meet me back here after a few days, okay?"

"O-Okay...Oh! I haven't got your name yet!" said MK as he looked at him, the monkey give him a gentle smile before replying. "Just call me Bogs, dear" The monkey smiled as MK waved at him and was about to leave. But before he leaved he turned to see and notice the short monkey is gone. MK got quiet before he left the alley and went to his best friend. And just as he left, Bogs was just standing on the roof and looked up at the sky. "So you finally did it, Sunny? Heh...I hope you and Moonlight are happy together.." Bogs smiled before walking off. o wow i actually did it, holy smokes, was this okay? idk, its my first time and i kinda did good? im sorry if it looks confusing, i just dont know how to do this thing, uhh hope u like it?

[ketamineharry]

Home ~ Harry Lewis

Requested: Yes ~ Do you think you could do something where the reader is in the army (for about 2 years), and she surprises the Sidemen/Harry? Maybe its organised from Mrbeast etc (idk why, but i love Jimmy, and i could see him doing that) Trigger Warnings: Some talk of war Word Count: 948 (my longest one yet! I hope you all enjoy. I loved writing this one!!)

It had been two years since you had what some people would call, a “normal life”, you had decided to follow your dream of becoming a nurse in the army. You absolutely loved tending to your country’s heroes. Knowing that you were doing your part filled you with a joy, that you were unsure any other job could provide.

However, living your dream had come at a cost. You weren’t able to visit home anywhere near as much as you had liked. You loved going home to your boyfriend, Harry, and your family. But, every single time you went back home you knew that it come at a cost. Having to say goodbye. You knew that it was a sad occasion for everyone involved. But, everyone else had someone else they could find some comfort in, your family had each other and Harry had his best friends and YouTuber’s the Sidemen. 

Who did you have? Your work colleagues. The only solace you could find within that, is that you knew every other person in your immediate surroundings had to go through the same thing. Which is why this time, you didn’t want to go home when your leave finally came around. You had decided that you were going to stay in Somalia, perhaps try out some of the culture that you hadn’t had the chance to experience yet and just Face Time your family and Harry when you had the chance.

That was the plan, and you had stuck to it for a few days, until you received a text from Harry’s friend, Simon.

Hey, I just thought that I’d let you know that Harry really misses you. I know he tries not to say or show anything because he knows how much this job means to you. But, choosing to stay out there when you have leave is a low blow. 

Deep down you knew what Simon was saying was right. You were being selfish because you didn’t want the pain, but the time that you had with the people that you loved was worth the pain of having to say goodbye and so much more. 

Hey Simon, yeah, you’re right! I was thinking maybe we could surprise Harry? When are the next time that you guys are filming? I’ll make sure to be on the next available flight beforehand and I’ll surprise him after the video.

You hit send on the text and began to get your belongings together to go back home. You were filled with such an excitement, that you could barely hear the ding of your phone notifying you that you had another text.

The boys and I were thinking perhaps you could surprise him in the video? That way you’ll be able to watch the video back when you miss each other, and you’ll remember just how good it feels to come back home the next time you’re contemplating not coming back when you have leave. Let me know if you’d be comfortable doing that

Now, this was an idea. You didn’t like being in many videos, preferring to keep your relationship with Harry private. But, this was an exception, this wasn’t for anyone else but you and Harry. 

-

You had arrived back in London the night before the Sidemen boys were due to film. Despite being incredibly tired and stressed due to the immense pressure you had put on yourself, you knew that you had to do this... For Harry. Simon had been kind enough to let you crash at his and JJ’s apartment. As, usually when you went home you’d be going back to Harry’s. Which would have defeated the purpose of you coming home in the first place.

Currently, you were hiding behind a green screen that the boys were using to film a video for their YouTube channel, if you were completely honest, you didn’t have a clue what was going on. You just didn’t have the time you would have liked to support your boyfriend and his career when you were on duty. Nevertheless, you were in your element secretly watching from the sidelines.

It was extremely hard to keep the laughter in, especially because the video they were filming involved forfeits. Which, Harry had taken the brunt of. 

Soon enough, the boys were wrapping up the video. 

“Now, Harry it’s not all bad news. I know you’ve done the majority of the forfeits but we’ve got a surprise for you. Which will make it all worth it.” Josh comments. “You just need to close your eyes.” 

You assume Harry had followed the instructions he was given, as JJ comes to collect you and brings you around to the front of the camera. Making you extremely nervous as you had no experience of being in front of the camera; not on this scale anyway. 

“Now we’re going to countdown from three, and you can open your eyes Bog.” Tobi says. 

3 2 1

Harry opens his eyes looking at Simon a little bit dumbfounded. Simon then looks the opposite direction and a massive smile engulfs his face. Causing Harry to look in the same direction as him. 

Despite the cameras, you felt yourself running towards him. You knew that you had missed Harry but you just didn’t know how much until he was right back in front of you.

He takes you in his arms and lifts you off of the ground, taking you in. In this moment, nothing else mattered. Not the cameras, not the video, not even the other boys. You were safe. He was here. You loved him. As long as he was here, you would always have a reason to come home.

[writersrealmbts]

Take This Road

Description: Part of the summer #btswritingbingo, hosted by @bangtanwritingbingo​! For road trip.  You've taken an unusual turn in your road trip, and your new passenger is the primary cause.

Warnings: casual discussions of arson and murder

Posted: 07/31/2021

Tags: Jungkook x reader, sort of mafia au? sort of gang au?, road trip au

idk what genre this is: 1,503 words

A/N: This one was really fun

Too many snacks.

You had too many snacks for one person.

So...was it fate that brought your passenger?

Or was it the fact that he shoved someone under your tires as you were driving past?

“So...remind me again where we’re going to dump this body?” You asked.

“He’s not dead.”

“Yet.”

“Yet. If he does die...well, there’s a nice floating bog not too far from where I live that could work. Or I could use him as a decoy body in a housefire.”

“Oooh, I know this one,” You chirped, turning the volume up and singing along with the radio.

Your passenger, the one that wasn’t dying, was soon singing with you.

It did strike you that maybe you shouldn’t be so casual about the fact that you were transporting a dying person with the person who had tried to kill him using your vehicle, but honestly...you kind of were guessing that the guy you ran over may or may not have been abusive and you didn’t really feel like asking.

“Such a good song,” Your passenger sighed. “Oh, I don’t think I told you, but I’m Jungkook, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you Jungkook, y/n.”

“Nice to meet you. Sorry to change your plans.”

“No problem, really. I was kind of bored. If you want any snacks, feel free to grab any. Any but the chocolate covered pretzels. Those are mine and I will shove you under my tires.”

“Understood. So, should I explain why I tried to kill him?”

“I mean, if you like. Do I need to turn here?”

“No, it’ll be the next one. So, that guy is actually a loan shark. Except, when you can’t pay in cash, he takes people.”

“Ew.”

“Yeah. I was hoping he’d be helpful and tell me where he sent my friends, but...well….” He glanced back as the other man began to groan softly. “Oh. He’s waking up.”

“You tied him up, right?”

“Yeah. I owe you a roll of duct-tape and some zip-ties.”

“Don’t worry about the zip-ties. I’m not really even sure why I had them. Anyway, he took your friends?”

“Yeah. So I’ve been trying to track them down ever since. And then he told me tonight that one of them had died before he even sold them and I guess I saw red.”

“Well, I’d be concerned if you thought my car was purple or green.”

“True,” He tried a few different snacks before settling in with one. “Anyway, if he died, no big. If he lives and tells me what happened to them, awesome. I’ve got enough leads to carry on without him if I have to. What about you? You’re taking all of this surprisingly well.”

“He kind of struck me as an abusive bastard, to be honest. And that’s while looking at him half-dead on the road. But nah, I’m just sort of wandering around. I recently quit my job, and I’ve been on a road trip in the interim before my next job starts.”

“What’s your new job?”

“I’m working for Taiji International. Personal secretary to one of the higher-ups.”

“Isn’t that the one with suspected Mafia affiliations?”

“Possibly. I could probably poke around and see if they have any idea about your friends for you.”

“That’d be cool.” He sighed. “It looks like he might live.”

“Have you ever been to Keirishiro?”

“No. My parents always told me it was full of Mafias and gangs.”

“Exactly. He’s probably affiliated with some group. Which means they’re probably after you.”

“Probably….”

“So, we put him in your place and burn it down. They’ll find out it’s him, no problem, and then there’s just the question of where you went. No one would expect someone so wholly unconnected to you to be hiding you, or helping you.”

“But the fire….”

“Is the easy part. Frito’s bag near some outlet or appliance. Leaves no trace. Set these aside.” You pulled the bag up and tossed it at him.

“What about your road-trip?”

“Oh, I thought we could go to Keirishiro after burning your place down. That’s where my job is. You can stay with me. We’ll work on disguises for you, and I’ll find out if my work is associated with a Mafia or not. Then we can go from there. Hopefully they’re not associated with this piece of work.”

“You grew up in the Mafia, didn’t you?”

“Nah. I just spent way too much time working customer service.”

“Oh, I love this song,” He turned the radio up again, jamming to the song on the radio.

You thought the trip ahead of you would be quite pleasant with Jungkook for company.

“We’re going to pretend we’re dating, right?”

You hummed. “Actually, we might need to pretend we’re married. I sort of lied and said I was getting ready to be married which was why I wanted so much time before I started this job.” You rolled your eyes. “I was just going to say, ‘oh, it fell through and I was so heartbroken’ but a fake marriage would suffice.”

“Okay. Sounds good to me. With any luck, even if people know about me they may not know what I look like, so I might be able to pass as someone else. Then I’ll be sure to sell the part. And when the time comes, we split amicably.”

“Works for me. Go fifty-fifty on chores?”

“Mmmm, sixty-forty, I might not be able to swing as much for rent as you.”

“Ah. Between jobs?”

“Kind of. Something about endangering coworkers.”

“Oof. Yeah. We’ll see if we can find someone to forge an identity for you, that way you can get a job if it’s safe to show your face.”

“I might know a place. Got any CD’s?”

“CD player is broken and the last CD put in was a kids CD. Don’t touch the CD player. On the one hand, I know twenty children's songs. On the other hand, I would like to throttle whoever broke the CD player because I know twenty children’s songs.”

“Got any drinks?”

“In the cooler, behind your seat.”

“Ah!” He unbuckled and reached around, getting drinks for both of you. “I’m thinking: maybe instead of burning my place we just clean it out and dump him in the bog, whether dead or alive. That way we don’t draw unnecessary attention to me.”

“Fair. Okay. Then where am I going?”

“Stay on this road for another...five miles?”

“Map in the glove-box.”

He pulled it out, unfolding it and taking a few moments to gather his bearings. “Yeah, about five miles, I think. It’ll be the third road on the left.”

“Okay. Feel free to mess with the temp controls, I tend to keep things cooler than they need to be.”

“I’m good. Might channel surf, though,” He said, waiting until you had nodded to start trying other stations on the radio.

“You have a license?”

“Definitely.”

“Great. We can take turns driving, then.”

“Works for me.”

“Uuaaaghhhh...wh--what?”

You glanced in the rear-view mirror. “Oh dear.”

Jungkook quickly got up to deal with the passenger. “Didn’t expect him to wake up.”

You sighed. “Poor soul, he just didn’t know what hit him.”

“Better than he deserves,” Jungkook muttered, holding up a notebook. “I forgot to mention, I got his ledger from him. There are lots of names in here.”

“Ugh. A bog is almost too good for him.”

“Almost,” Jungkook agreed, sliding back into his seat. “You understand the danger we’re getting into, right?”

“Yeah. I do.” You gestured to your backpack. “Front pocket, there’s a bag with some jewelry in it. There should be two rings. They were my parents. But they’ll do.”

He followed your instructions, pulling them out. He slipped your father’s onto his ring finger. “Fits well. Here you are, my wife.”

“Why, thank you, husband,” You said, taking your mother’s ring and slipping it onto your ring finger.

“So...what happened to them?”

“Hmm? Oh, no, they’re fine, but my father can’t wear rings because they make his fingers swell and my mom broke her ring finger so her ring didn’t fit anymore. They tattooed rings on their fingers instead.”

“Ah. So...your family is alive...and you’re still okay with this?”

You considered what to tell him. “My parents are private investigators.”

“So, this is….”

“Definitely not something they would want me doing. They’ve never been a fan of me sticking my nose into dangerous situations. But...you know. When both of your parents are private investigators….”

“It’s in your blood. Cool. I’ll follow your lead then.” He smiled, kind of peeking down at the ring. “I’ll be a supportive husband.”

“And I will be a loving wife,” You answered, sharing a smile with him. “This could be a lot of fun.”

“It really could.” Jungkook grinned and leaned back in his seat, staring at the road ahead. “Next road.”

“Right.”

You looked forward to where this journey led you.

[roachzrivia]

It's An Elf Thing

A series of events where the party (mainly Dorian) reacts to the Inquisitor doing weird things. Basically, if video game things actually happened. Supposed to be at least a little bit amusing.

Maybe it's just me who always forgets my horse and walks across the entire Hinterlands before remembering. Idk. I thought of this idea after jumping down a cliff and losing almost all my health because I couldn't be bothered to walk the long way round. Also, the trellis climbing at the winter palace makes zero sense, I'm sorry.How have I put 422 hours into this game? Where did my life go?

Gen, implied Dorian/Lavellan, brief implied Iron Bull/Dorian

Also on AO3 (link in my bio)

“Maker’s breath, can you slow down for a moment?” said Dorian, bending over to catch his breath. “It isn’t as if we’re short of time. Any normal person would allow for travelling time, you know.”

“I am allowing for travelling time,” Lavellan’s voice came floating back to him. “My pace just happens to be faster than yours.” But he slowed down, allowing time for Dorian to catch up.

“Couldn’t we have sent someone else on this task?” Dorian settled himself on the ground. It was damp, but he was tired enough not to care. “There have to be some perks that come with being the Inquisitor.”

“Aside from the castle, the army, and every noble in Thedas wanting to be my friend?” Lavellan sat down beside him, folding his long limbs gracefully beneath him.

“Aside from all that,” said Dorian, waving his hand dismissively.

“Nope, can’t think of anything,” said Lavellan, laughing. He leaped to his feet. “Come on, if we take a shortcut, we can make it by nightfall.” He held out a hand to Dorian, who grasped it and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet.

“Shortcut? There isn’t a shortcut around here,” he said, as he watched Lavellan disappear over the edge of the cliff. “Wait!” He ran over to the edge, heart pounding as he scanned the ground below, hoping desperately not to see Lavellan’s broken body on the ground.

“Ow!”

“Oh, thank the Maker,” muttered Dorian, as he watched Lavellan skid down the side of the mountain, rocks and dirt kicking loose as he went.

“Come on!” Lavellan sprang to his feet. Even from a distance, Dorian could see the cuts and scrapes from the tumble.

“I think I’ll pass on the shortcut,” he said, as he headed along the edge of the cliff, searching for a proper path down.

“Oh, for the love of…” Dorian watched as Lavellan tumbled down yet another cliff, feet sliding on the rocky ground, pebbles and dirt shifting beneath his feet. He took a tumble, somersaulting head over heels, his head bouncing off a rock. He collapsed at the foot of the cliff, body limp and bleeding. “You are going to be the death of me,” muttered Dorian. “You brought this upon yourself. You don’t deserve my magic.” He sighed. “But if I leave you here, Cassandra will probably convince everyone that I pushed you. Very well.” He brandished his staff, reached for the magic, and raised Lavellan back to consciousness with a blaze of green light. “Please,” he called out, as he began to tentatively pick his way down the mountainside. “No more shortcuts.”

Lavellan was already racing away from him, grabbing handfuls of elfroot as he went.

-

“We’ve been walking for absolutely ages,” Sera whined, as she dragged her feet along the path, kicking stones at Lavellan. “When do we get to shoot something? I signed up for more shooting, less walking walking walking!”

The party had been walking for hours. The weather was hot, the road dusty, and no one was feeling particularly cheerful.

“I can’t help feeling as if I’ve forgotten something,” Lavellan mumbled under his breath, chewing on his lip as he gazed around at the small group. “Got my daggers.” He patted the sheaths strapped to his hips, just to make sure. “I’m fully dressed…” He scanned the group. “You’re all fully dressed. Sera has her bow. Dorian has his staff. Bull has… whatever that is,” he said, gesturing at the massive axe strapped to the qunari’s back.

“If I may interject,” said Dorian. “I take umbrage at the comment that we are all fully dressed. What Bull is wearing hardly counts.”

Bull grinned at him. “Would you really have it any other way?”

“I would, actually.”

“Hush, both of you. I’m thinking.”

“Do you perhaps think,” Dorian said carefully, “that you’ve forgotten the horses?”

“What?”

“The horses. You know, the beasts of burden which we spent an awful lot of time and effort securing for the Inquisition, which are, right at this very moment, standing ready for us back at the base camp, half a day’s walk behind us.”

“You mean we could have been riding this whole time?” exclaimed Sera.

“Fuck,” said Lavellan softly, looking back the way they had come. “Horses. I knew I had forgotten something.”

-

“Are we done here?” Dorian watched as Lavellan waded into the lake. The water reached up to his thighs, and whilst Dorian had to admit that the elf did look rather striking in a rustic sort of way, he had been watching this activity for long enough that he was beginning to feel bored. “I would rather we reached camp before nightfall,” he called out.

Lavellan raised a hand in response, and then returned to bending low over the water. He reached down, plucking yet another handful of blood lotus from the water.

Dorian sighed and waited for the Inquisitor to finish.

Finally, Lavellan walked out of the lake, his soaking wet breeches clinging to his legs.

“Ready to go?” Dorian looked pointedly up at the sky, and the sun sinking low.

“Just need to grab a few more herbs,” said Lavellan, darting away to grab at a nearby stalk of elfroot. “And did you bring the pickaxe? There’s an outcropping of obsidian that’s calling my name.”

“Surely the Inquisition could spare someone other than the Inquisitor for this job,” muttered Dorian, as he followed after Lavellan.

-

The party arrived back at camp in good time. The Storm Coast had been wet and grey, as usual, but the rain had finally eased, and everyone was looking forward to a warm meal before crawling into their bedrolls for the night.

“Just a moment,” said Lavellan, stopping in front of the requisitions officer. “Just got a few bits and pieces I picked up enroute that I figured might help the cause.”

“Thank you, sir. Every little bit will help out men in the field.”

Lavellan began opening his pockets. First, out came handfuls of herbs, which he handed directly to the officer. She took them, her arms quickly overflowing as Lavellan laid more and more picked plants into her arms.

“Is this why you fell so far behind us?” Dorian asked, raising an eyebrow. “Planning on quitting being the Inquisitor and becoming a gardener instead?”

“Everyone needs a hobby,” said Lavellan, pulling off his boot and tupping the contents out onto the requisition table. A handful of gemstones tumbled onto the table.

“Now that surely can’t have been comfortable.”

The requisitions officer watched on, eyes wide, as Lavellan opened his coat to reveal reams of fabrics tucked up in his belt and braces.

“For the boats,” he explained, as he laid them on the table.

“And here I thought you had just been eating more than your share at mealtimes,” Dorian quipped.

“Thank you-” began the officer.

“And the metal,” Lavellan said, turning to his horse to empty the saddle bags.

“By Andraste’s sweet arse, how did you manage to carry all of that without collapsing?” asked Dorian.

Lavellan just grinned and continued loading resources onto the requisitions table.

-

“So, the plan is to be as inconspicuous as possible?” asked Dorian.

“That is correct,” said Cassandra.

“To infiltrate the palace without any of the numerous political functions noticing us, and without disturbing the other guests?”

“Yes…” said Cassandra slowly.

“That what in Andraste’s name is the Inquisitor doing?” Dorian jerked his head at the scene behind him. Cassandra’s eyes widened.

“Inquisitor…?”

Dressed in all his finery, and in front of hundreds of guests, Lavellan was scaling the trellis up the side of the palace wall. People were pointing and tittering behind their hands.

“Might want to rethink that plan, Cassandra,” said Dorian, smirking as he watched Lavellan climb up and over the top, disappearing into the depths of the palace.

Later, when Lavellan reappeared, Dorian pulled him to one side.

“I have to ask,” he said. “All of this climbing. Is it another elf thing?”

“An elf thing?”

“You know, because of living out in nature, with all of those… trees.”

Lavellan laughed. “Dorian, darling, not everything I do is an ‘elf’ thing. Sometimes, it’s just a ‘me’ thing. Now, are you saving a dance for me?”

“Of course. If you don’t get yourself arrested or assassinated before the end of the night, it might even be the most scandalous event of the entire ball.”

-

“What is that?” The horror in Dorian’s voice was palpable.

“New horse,” said Lavellan, climbing up into the saddle. “There’s one for you as well.”

“I am not riding that monstrosity. I don’t know who told you it was a horse, but whoever it was has clearly been indulging in too much wine.”

“You’re scared!”

“I am not scared,” said Dorian, eyeing the creature with distaste. “There is a different between scared and sensible and I assure you, right now I am the latter.”

The creature stared back at him; its black, soulless eyes boring into him. It shook its head, and Dorian leapt back to avoid being impaled on the massive horn rising from its forehead.

“Come on,” said Lavellan, voice wheedling.

“Can’t I just ride a normal horse?”

“But we need to match.”

Dorian looked at the second beast, the one which he was expected to ride. It was so thin that its ribcage was visible beneath its black fur.

“I would rather walk.”

“All the way to Crestwood? It’s only a bog unicorn, Dorian.”

“You are an infuriating man,” said Dorian, scowling. “Very well. But next time, please can we use the Fereldan horses? They don’t smell as bad.”

[justsasuke]

Here’s the thing about Kakashi. He’s quite possibly Konoha’s worst (yes, you read that right) worst Sensei. Mostly due to the fact that he’s so caught up in his guilt and past that he literally had nothing to give his students.

I’m not saying this to hate on Kakashi, he’s his own person with very valid struggles and I don’t want to slam him bc of his life experiences, but for the purpose of this here writing I’m going to ignore Kakashi’s right to be stuck in the past and talk about why he isn’t qualified to do the job the 3rd Hokage assigned him. Specifically in relation to Sasuke (bc let’s be real, after shippuden started was Kakashi really Naruto and Sakura’s sensei anymore? also this blog is about Sasuke so if you’re expecting any other type of content IDK how to help you)

Let me start by saying Kakashi had a lot of potential to help Sasuke out; they come from somewhat similar backgrounds - prominent families in the village that at some point were no longer favorable to the village, and then losing said families.  Both were child prodigies and (I assume) had a lot of external pressure to live up to and not enough time to work through their own feelings...

you’d think with everything they had in common Kakashi could have used his experiences to relate to Sasuke and then guide him down a much healthier path--but instead he only made things worse.

and here’s where we get into the main meat of this rant and my list of reasons why Kakashi was a horrible sensei (grab some popcorn bc I’m about to go off)

1) Kakashi identifies Sasuke’s issues early...and then does nothing. without a doubt, Kakashi knew who Sasuke was.  He knew what had happened to the Uchiha clan, and he could probably imagine what kind of pain Sasuke was going through and yet when Sasuke very openly admits that he doesn’t have any purpose for his future except to avenge his clan Kakashi simply makes a mental note that it was ‘just as he thought’

2) Kakashi doesn’t really say anything nice... your mileage may vary with this one, and of course it’s a matter of personal taste, but Kakashi doesn’t say anything nice about Sasuke.  Not to his face anyway.  and it’s not just that he isn’t nice, he taunts him too. To a regular person this may not cause much damage, but we have to look at the fact that Sasuke has grown up alone and un-nurtured for the last 5 years and that the last person who was important in his literally told him that he was worthless and unfit for anything (hello root cause of Sasuke’s insecurity) Kakashi’s words then become really destructive and damaging to any chance he had of creating a safe space for Sasuke to open up and feel looked after/get the help he needed

3) Kakashi didn’t get it This happens during the infamous treetop chat, where he literally ties Sasuke to the tree so he can say what he wants to say. (red flag right there bc honestly what is with this village and constantly trying to force Sasuke to do what they want him to do without actually taking the time to listen to him or address his problems directly.  Seriously.  Also why are you waiting until just now to reach out to him when you’ve known he’s been struggling since day one.  see #1 on this rant)

I hate this scene because it’s a really good moment outside of the context of, well, Sasuke and all that he is and has been through. It was meant to be a call to reality scene where Kakashi helps Sasuke see that he’s not alone in his suffering, that he has friends who care about him, that leaving the village isn’t going to help him, and his life situation isn’t actually all that bad. (can you spot the sarcasm?)

Spoiler alert: this scene is another example of people who thought they understood Sasuke and knew how to help, which is not the same as actually understanding him and knowing how to help. See also Naruto, Sakura, and Gaara to name the most prominent other ones.

4) “sure, but everyone I ever loved is already dead... :)” Ok listen.  I get where Kakashi is coming from, I really do. but this line.  I hate it. Again, it’s a great line out of context of everything Sasuke is dealing with. And yeah, I can see why Kakashi thought it might help. But just to recap, Sasuke’s entire clan, his immediate family, probably the bulk of his friends because Bigotry™, his extended family, everything he’s known and loved and held dear, his security, the family culture he grew up with, any promise of a bright future etc. was taken away from him by his older brother whom he loved more than anything in one night.  He literally lost everything that would help him gain any sort of bearing of identity and sense of worth, not to mention anyone to love him, in one night.  and it was taken by the person he loved most, someone he trusted and looked up to and believed in.  And then that person told him he was completely worthless. Kakashi on the other hand lost his best friend during a ninja mission (a devastating loss but common within the context of everyone being ninja and it being wartime), and lost his father and other friend/crush? to suicide. All very real pains, but different than Sasuke’s.  

Sasuke’s lash out of “what if I killed everyone you ever cared about” was a plea for someone to understand the kind of agony he was carrying everyday, and Kakashi--who honestly out of everyone else should have sensed a need to sit and listen--ignored it by taking the opportunity to invalidate Sasuke’s very specific pain.

5) Kakashi kind of ....gave up? At some point it seems like Kakashi just gave up trying to help Sasuke and decided that it was unavoidable and inevitable that Sasuke was going to “go bad” and leave the village. I mean, he noticed it on day one, right? (srry, I’m salty about that one if you couldn’t tell).

6) Except he didn’t At some point he decides that as Sasuke’s sensei he should be the one to take responsibility for Sasuke going “bad” and kill him. Forget talking to him, forget apologizing for not taking the time to talk to him earlier, he decided that he’s going to fight Sasuke and “take care of the problem once and for all”.

I could go on, but at this point I think I should stop and take a really, really long walk. In summary:  While you’d expect Kakashi to have seen and treated Sasuke differently he didn’t, and while he was set up to be the perfect mentor character to Sasuke (Naruto got Jiraiya so you’d think Kakashi would’ve stepped in to help Sasuke more) he really fell flat. Overall as a sensei I think he was too bogged down with his own pain and survivor’s guilt to really be present, and maybe he was too scared to help Sasuke grow because he thought if he fed the fire it would only get worse. In any case, other than teaching Sasuke chidori, Kakashi was really detached from Sasuke’s struggles except when he thought it had gone too far.  And by then it was too late to do any good. I think if he had stepped in a little more, listened a little more, helped Sasuke channel his feelings productively, maybe even helped Sasuke work through said feelings, things could’ve been great. He could’ve been the Iruka to Sasuke’s Naruto, you know?   but he wasn’t.

[lizacstuff]

SCK Asks: Episode 38

(asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: happy edser just HITS different. maybe it's because we've been so deprived of them together and blissful, it's such a joy to watch. i had a silly grin on my face during all their scenes. sure the tumor cloud is looming over our heads, but this episode only laid the foundation for that and then went into romcom mode, which i really appreciated because we've been bogged down for SO LONG with heaviness, it was nice to just take a breather.

OMG! Yes, all of this. And I’m not sure if it’s happy Edser that hits different, or if it was whatever magic and sparkle these writers injected into this episode that made it hit different.  

The magic was BACK. The sparkle was BACK. These writers took the most ridiculous scenario idea (these two famous architects deciding to solve a murder) and just made it sing. I grinned through the whole thing and laughed out loud, A LOT. 

This was the first episode in ages where I wasn’t watching the clock and waiting for some uncomfortable or unpleasant moment or scene to occur. Instead watching was pure joy and no anxiety, even with a tumor diagnosis. 

There was so much good Edser in this episode it’s hard to know what to talk about. I loved every moment they were on screen together. 

Anonymous said: I have to hand it to you, you said that the reason they were doing this pregnancy story is so that we could find out that Selin and Serkan never slept together. ngl I wanted her to suffer more, but as long as she’s gone I’m fine with her punishment being the humiliation of having to admit that in front of Eda. 

Ha! Yes, I have said that all along, and I’ve never been more relieved to be right. They really went the extra mile with having Selin spell out that it hadn’t happened.  With the English subs it almost sounded like they had never, ever had sex, even before.  If so, I could actually believe it, their prior relationship seemed to be very business like, like they were each other’s safe, convenient date to business and family functions, and it wasn’t emotional or physical for him. 

After the gross story around Selin, and how much damage she did and how much she got away with, this was not nearly enough comeuppance to sate my thirst for her pain. These writers started this story and introduced Selin’s role in it, so it’s not like they 100% inherited something they had nothing to do with. However, between Bige’s limited availability due to her father passing, Sarp Can having covid, and the way the other writers drug it into the ground, I’m also just happy it’s over and will deal with this being all we get, plus, while she didn’t get punished adequately, she did take her lumps. It’s humiliating that Serkan went around acting incredulous to everyone who would listen that she could be pregnant because he never touched her, even while she was his fiancé. I mean that’s a shrinker. Can you imagine agreeing to marry a man who you knew didn’t want to touch you? Everyone now knows her sad, pathetic desperation to have him under any circumstances. Yikes. 

And as you say, she then had to stand in front of Eda and Serkan and admit he didn’t touch her. Admit that Serkan never wanted her, and it’s humiliating that everyone at Art Life knows what she did and thinks she’s a monster. Serkan finally knows she’s an awful manipulator who tried to trick him, and in the end she gets an unplanned pregnancy with a man who doesn’t love her and whom she doesn’t love.  So it’s not like she’s winning by any stretch of the imagination. 

(Though I really wish everyone knew (mostly Serkan and Eda) that she sabotaged Eda’s presentation. It’s important for the characters to know that she can’t be trusted professionally as well as personally... but oh well.)

Anonymous said: Two things: 1) I kinda love it even more that they got the tattoos before he found about the illness.. idk why but it was even MORE romantic. Also does this mean they're kinda sorta engaged again since the reason she said no in the first place was Selin? and 2) I need more of that "ring for love" bell ASAP. My jaw actually dropped when he lifted her up since we were deprived of it in 26.. please more breaking of family structures!!

Oh I agree, I found it very romantic they went and got the tattoos and the only impetus was their desire to have a symbol of their love. I already love those tattoos so much, and I love that they sat their designing them together. They really do signify the ultimate commitment. 

I’m not sure if they’re engaged or not. Maybe they’re in a place where it’s obvious they’re going to get married, they both know they’re going to get married, but we’re still going to get one more proposal to make it official?  

As for the ring for love bell, when and where did he get that!? Hee. And yes to more breaking of the Turkish family structure. That lift and twirl through the living room was... HOT. And it was just so effortless, there are just no words at times for how good Hande and Kerem are, I’ve really never seen anything like it. They don’t really have time to rehearse on set, or limitless takes or the time to really block and perfect things, but they’re just so good together they make magic happen every time they’re on screen.  Amazing. Enjoy this kids, because you probably won’t see anything like it again. 

Anonymous said: With the nature of these shows, Eda and Serkan will not a blissful happily ever after without something hanging over there heads or some new drama until the show actually ends. So if the new angst is Serkan's potential illness, I'm down for the potential angst it'll create.. it's already a good sign that, although he hasn't told her about it yet, he's not pushing her away in fear, but instead the opposite. I also don't think, and really hope not, him keeping it secret rn won't cause trouble.

Yes, I like that even with that heavy health news hanging over the episode, it was still light and funny and romantic and had that old sparkle. That tells me that they’re going to strike the right tone with this story which seems to be a very carpe diem thing with Serkan. 

It didn’t bother me that he didn’t tell her. First, he told the doctor that he didn’t want anyone to know until he had a diagnosis. That makes sense, why worry her, or any of them, before they know.  I’m sure I would feel different if he was pushing her away because of the diagnosis, but since he’s holding her close and just seems to want to spend time with her, without that heaviness hanging over her head, I’m okay with it. 

Also, as seen in the new fragman, if this story is an excuse to get them out of the office and put them in all sorts of scenarios together it would otherwise be hard to justify, bring it on.  Let’s see how far down the list of things to do they can get! 

Anonymous said: i know no one reaaaally cares because they're not most people's favorite side characters, but it's really much nicer to watch aydan and ayfer scenes now that they're both on "team edser" and have become really good friends. i swear, the AAA trio scenes were so unbearable to watch when they were fighting over him and i was fast forwarding through all of them.. at least i can sit through team "united" aydan/ayfer scenes.

They’re actually enjoyable scenes now! I love that they’ve become actual true friends, best friends really, and along with Seyfi I love their little trio.  Love that Seyfi and Ayfer were being so supportive about Aydan rekindling something with Kemal.  And I agree that we can root for them when they’re working for Edser’s well-being and happiness.  I just hope Aydan doesn’t do something stupid if there begins to be some question about Serkan’s parentage. 

Anonymous said: the scooby doo gang ending had me laughing so hard i was tearing up when more and more people kept sneaking in and eda and serkan were getting more and more exasperated. erdem accidentally using flash took me tf out lmao. i love when sck does comedy with the whole cast and not just the usual "comedy" characters.. they're some of my favorite scenes! both "asking for the girl" scenes come to mind.

You could see Erdem using the flash coming from a mile away, but that still didn’t blunt the comedy when he actually did it.  So funny. Also Engin not recognizing Eda, imagine him thinking Serkan is there with some rando woman.  I also love the full cast comedy scenes, they are so much fun and really should be utilized as often as possible. 

The scene where Edser walk back into the house and Aydan and Kemal were there paying their respects had me screech-laughing! So so so funny. Both sides being incredulous that the other was there and wanting answers!  I also enjoyed that Serkan obviously put Erdem in charge of Kemal’s project, because he wants that project to go away. Unfortunately for Serkan, I think it’s going to take more than Erdem to drive Kemal away.  

Anonymous said: Everyone is saying serkan planned the whole thing, do you buy into that? Idk would he really put everyone in a gunpoint situation where they don’t know it’s fake? Cause that’s some potentially trauma inducing stuff. Also I have no idea where they’re going with this, since it’s been a 4 day break from set which is kind of worrying. And do you know why Melisa wasn’t in the ep? I know Sarp can got Covid but wasn’t Melisa posting with cast members on her story throughout the week?

Wow, this is a lot of negative energy and fretting after a really good episode. Deep breath. Since you sent this, we know that Hande and Kerem have been shooting for 2 full days at a romantic looking beach location for 39, so it looks like Edser has some sort of mini-getaway. I don’t see any reason to be concerned about the 4 day break last week. (now the fragman’s out, hopefully that puts your mind at ease)

No idea why Melissa wasn’t in the ep, other than the way the ep was structured with the supporting characters, if she had to miss the ArtLife shooting day then I can see that they would have had to write her out of the full episode, because most of their scenes were there and it set up everything for the rest of the episode. So perhaps she was in quarantine for a Covid exposure, maybe she was legit sick/injured (she has had a foot thing) or maybe she had a conflict for that one shooting day. No idea, but I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.  Also her absence gave us Ferit/Melo scenes and I’m 100% behind that, give us more of those! 

As far as if Serkan planned the whole thing, he did look pretty smug and relaxed while sitting there at the end, but he also wasn’t planning for the whole group to tag along and make a mess, lmao. We’ll have to see. 

Anonymous said: Do you think bad ratings makes sck in danger of being cancelled or do you think high social media engagement keeps it safe?

Friends, I don’t know anything about the Turkish system, but it seems to me that SCK will either go through May or extend into summer and end then, regardless of the ratings. We shall see. As I’ve said before I’m not going to engage in the fretting and worrying and discussion on this topic because no fan really knows what they’re talking about and there is nothing we can do to change what will happen. So just enjoy the show while we can, the news on when it will end will come when it comes. 

[phoebehalliwell]

don't know if you answered this before but in what order would you rank the endgame couples - piper/leo, phoebe/coop, paige/henry? very curious

oh hmm i actually have never been asked this!! hmm this is difficult. okay so like. obvi before we begin i must offer a disclaimer here. i am a paragon of bad taste. let’s not forget my entire valentine’s theme was dedicated to prue & jack. we’re starting at rock bottom here. i also love projecting my own idea onto incomplete pieces to fill the gaps. like. like i get how there’s not a lot to love for paige and henry and phoebe and coop but in my lil brain they are all very complex and like fleshed out and i gotta a lotta beliefs. in fact. like. hmm. no i’ve already said i have bad taste like piper/leo are probably gonna sit at the bottom of the list for me just because i cannot craft them how i want bc they’re already solidified in canon. like. idk they’re an adorable couple all that the full nine yards or whatever but like. well for starters they’re not my favorite ship tropes and then on top of that again There’s A Lot Of Canon. and i am a narcissistic diva okay i wanna be able to fill in these gaps. so like. hmm at the top based solely on coupleness and the versions of them that live in my noggin it’s

phoebe/coop bc like hear me out man they’re like the embodiment of love. we’ve been hit over the head so many time how they’re the embodiment of love and like salvation and rebirth and renewal like!! like part of me wishes that we had introduced coop in s5 and given him more skin in the game but also if they fucked up this relationship i would have been so bummed bc it really is. it’s love!! like it is the embodiment of falling in love like phoebe is stone cold right and she’s kind of starting to accept that maybe she just doesn’t get it you know. maybe that’s it. she gets her column and she gets to help people find love and see like piper and leo at peak domesticity and like engage in love, but like, remotely.because it’s not for her. and then here comes this cupid who’s like no i’m gonna find you love which is a cute gesture but like she genuinely doesn’t believe she’s made for love she genuinely doesn’t believe she gets to have love but then you know like. like her eyes get reopened to the world around her yes she engaged with love remotely but she had become so far removed from it that it lost the feeling. she saw it but she saw the individual brushstrokes and then here comes coop and he helps her take a step back and see the painting. and like!!! it’s beautiful. and then of course there’s the added trope of like. falling in love with coop he’s supposed to help you find love and now you know what the hell you’re trying but like. you’re in love with him. but you can’t be but you are. like!! and then on coop’s side you know he’s a cupid he’s been doing this for centuries and his love for humanity is obvious and his love for love is obvious but this is new. and he doesn’t know what it is!! like he knows love obviously but he’s never like you know fallen in love. and he can’t recognize it because he thinks it’s impossible but the next think you know he’s got all those lovesick symptoms he sees in the couples he puts together and oh my god he’s in love with phoebe. and then of course both believe the other won’t reciprocate bc it’s out of the realm of possibility. but then the other does reciprocate!! they also just like. i mean all three couple do but like phoebe and coop maybe the most. seem like the type of people who just kinda get lost in watching their partner work. like when phoebe is having trouble with a letter for her column she like paces and mutters the letter out loud to herself like she’s the one asking it and like bareface in pajamas like a crazy person is just repeating the same thing over and over again and coop’s just fucking in love with her like look at her!! and vice versa i don’t think coop has really spent that much time being human i think he takes absolute delight in small things phoebe has just forgotten about but to see coop’s face light up like at so flea market or something finding something that was undeniably crafted with love like he can feel it imbued in the item and his face just lights up and he wants to tell everyone how like it’s love!! love!! it’s all around us it’s in here can’t you feel it and phoebe just looks at him and remembers how pure love itself is and just how happy she is that you know. this is her life. and she gets to fall asleep and wake up next to this man like hello?? hello??!???! and then i’m gonna go 

paige/henry bc like i feel like they’re criminally underrated again bc we spedrun what should have been a slowburn but they gave me the legos and i will built the death star like. like these are two people who struggle with family and identity so much who have learned against their nature to lean into and grow with one another. like what we see of paige is a woman who loves her independence and loves her freedom and yesh has a complex relationship with family bc she was given up at birth but it didn’t matter because she found a loving family so who needs the ones who gave her up not her but she couldn’t help but wonder but she didn’t care she had her family. until she didn’t. until she was seventeen alone and scared and what are you supposed to do with that?? and let’s not even get started on the fact she only gains her new family through death as well. like. there’s so much there there are so many reasons to stay guarded and fearful and just overall pessimistic about the concept of family especially as something built to last. and then henry!!! who never knew his birth parents and on top of that never got a home like paige paige got a home she got a family who loved her hell she actually got two henry never had that henry always had nothing and like he kinda grew up in that shell said he didn’t want to leave when people started getting close he had to push them away bc he didn’t know who he was if he wasn’t alone and paige is like hey hi?? you wanna be alone so bad be alone but i actually fucking like you and i know you like me too so don’t just push me out because that’s what makes you feel "comfortable” when you know you’re miserable in your comfort. and she’s right but it’s still a hurdle for henry and it’s this push and pull of the tides where bit by bit they kind of have to learn that it’s lonely up on the pedestal of independence and it can actually be nice to be vulnerable with somebody yes it’s fucking terrifying to just like show yourself to someone honestly because like!! they can turn away what if they turn away but to experience the rewards of love we must first subject ourselves to the morifying ordeal of being known. and it’s a painful process for both of them but the fruits of those labors man it’s well fucking worth it and it’s a relationship especially on henry’s side that is plagued with external insecurities other people telling him that he is not cut from the right cloth to be with paige but like. it’s like he’s already torn down his walls to be with her and she’s done the same and he realizes he loves her like He Loves Her like. like!! who gives a fuck what anyone else says he loves paige. and then paige reciprocates omg!!! haha fuck yeah. and then like i also think henry’s just super fuckin corny levels of domestic like makes french toast every sunday and fingerpaints with his kids and is in the dad’s club at the elementary school and just does all the things that he fuckin prayed for as a child  just a constant stable feeling of home of love and like. like!!!! i’m gonna bite someone like. paige&henry man.

piper/leo though as previously established is like Thee charmed couple you know they are there all eight seasons they get points for that but obviously from reading my first two ones i kinda just fill in a lot of gaps there which i am able to do bc each couple probably checks in at 150min of screentime total. piper and leo don’t get that so like i don’t get to do that. and like. the origins of them i just don’t quite get you know which was really just cause it was such a new show and this was a new lil relationship they weren’t sure what they were gonna do with it and then again like issues with canon and the whole whitelighter thing but what i would have loved to see more in the early stages is just like why. like obviously they both found the other cute but we never really got the Moments bc it was all so preferrial and then next thing you know leo’s dying in the attic and piper loves him like i would have loved the in between and a bit more of the internal monologue the jump then fall especially on leo’s part which is like canon’s fault but like. you know like why if he was a whitelighter and knew the rules blah blah blah and it was because the writers didn’t know but like. still you know. and then s2 was bogged down my dan and i just really didn’t care for it that much because like. idk i didn’t love a lot of leo’s vibes early s2 were he was trying to keep it strictly professional and just ended up coming across as weirdly bitter and possessive however i Loved him bonding with dan in pardon my past that was a nice touch. of course later seasons pleo really makes up for the lackluster of the early seasons bc they are just so domestic like they know each others strengths so well and leo loves piper’s cooking and they’re corny n cute and they have their little moment and i do mostly like their relationship therapy bits i like that that was incorporated bc like. it happens man it’s not something to keep taboo it happens. but i do feel like that shit was often resolved too quick and then the same shit dredged up ten minutes later like some one trick pony. i also love how ride or die they are points for that. leo’s like i killed an elder and piper’s like alright. they’re really in it through thick n thin n i respect that

[mrmallard]

So I've been living my life partially through the guidance of a Discord bot's 8ball function.

When I say that, I mean "I have an inkling of something I want to do and I want this bot to either enable me or help me see reason and exercise self control". But the bot is usually the deciding factor.

The last 5 questions, read from the bottom to the top, are:

Below are the answers I got, and what happened with each one.

1: lashing out at my friends

This one's important.

You guys already know what's up. I got a really shitty vibe, I confronted my friend and he told me he was pursuing the girl I had feelings for. I confided about her to him for a year, so upon hearing this I freaked out and I'm pretty much just getting back to normal now.

I feel bad, but getting a straight answer out of him instead of having it be around me without my knowledge - happening behind my back - was a big help in processing it.

I told him "I'm not going to feel like a third wheel any more", and my hunch was correct. This situation was building and I would have lashed out sooner or later - and something happened that triggered my blowup that night. Without nipping it in the bud, it would have been a far messier fallout and I think I would have freaked out a lot more.

Carver made the right call.

2: going back out to the bar

On one hand, problem alcoholic.

On the other hand, this led to one of my most social nights in this entire saga. I reconnected with a great guy, I got to show him Pete and Bas because I wasn't speaking to my friends, it was a good night.

I was down there earlier and I just had a shit vibe to me the whole time. So when I went back down, I pushed myself to be social and I had a fantastic time.

Carver: 2 for 2.

3: Persona 5 Strikers

This is a more minor example - I haven't started Persona 5 Strikers yet because I'm playing Minecraft and Ni No Kuni at the moment. Minecraft and P5S are on cartridges, so it's one or the other.

I don't want to get bogged down in too many long games, and I think it's for the best that I'm playing some lower stakes games at the moment. It also gave me the leeway to play some garbage puzzle games, which I really appreciate.

Persona 5 Strikers is gonna be like the one game I play until I'm sick of it, so I need to let it sit for a while and get to it when I'm ready - just like I did for Persona 5, when I didn't play it for two years until I worked up the urge to get through it.

Carver is 3 for 3.

4: drinking in Canberra

...okay this one is pretty subjective.

On one hand, it was incredibly traumatic at the time. It's still a little traumatic.

On the other hand, it seems to go over well as a social story?

Honestly this was a bad call on my part, but the night was ruined whether I drank or not anyway. Drinking made it worse, sure, but I also had a lot of fun.

I'll count this as a miss, though. Thursday in Canberra was a massive ball of fuck with some good parts sprinkled in.

5: moving out???

Like I said in my last post, idk if moving out is a crisis thought with ramifications that I haven't considered, or a good way to light a fire under my ass and actually start living my life.

I'm gonna try and move out before my birthday in August, but if this doesn't manifest, it doesn't manifest.

For what it's worth, though, Carver has has a pretty solid track record. I'm considering listening to him about this.

[futurewriter2000]

Dangerous Woman

A/N: This was i my drafts for far too long. I think it was time to finally stop procrastinating and actually write it down. 

REQUEST: Hi love! I don’t know if you’re taking requests right now but I love your writing!!! Could you do a post Azkaban siriusxreader where she is a new hufflepuff recruit for the order (maybe she’s friend with Tonks from their Hogwarts days and Tonks got her in idk but she def is younger than Sirius so he feels kind of guilty about it) and they fall in love and live happily ever after. THANK YOU UR SO GREAT.

XX

Being nervous was your worst habit.It was a habit you couldn’t get rid of no matter how hard you tried. You tugged your sleeves in your palm, you bit your lip too harsh too many times, you jumped your leg each time you sat down and you cracked your fingers one time too many. 

Tonks who was walking beside you was grinning. She always found it amusing when you grew nervous. “I bet you can’t wait to meet them?” she nudged you as the two of you were at the front of the door.

“Oh, I am just....fantastic.” you started to jump your leg. Your heartbeat was racing, your palms were clammy...Nervous? You? Never.  “So....one’s a werewolf? He’s not dangerous?” you looked worriedly.

“He’s no Greyback. Quite the opposite,actually. A real teddy bear.” she winked and entered the room.

“And the Black?” 

“All a misunderstanding.” she waved her hand and started walking through the hall yet your heart was about to explode in your chest and your mind was becoming more and more paranoid.

“Tonks!” you pulled her by the hand. She looked at you with wide, confused eyes and you bit your lower lip yet again. “I don’t know about this.”

“You wanted to help, (y/n). Don’t you trust Dumbledore?”

“I trusted too many people and you know where that got me. Most of my family is dead because of trusting the wrong people.”

“Well, Dumbledore is not your twat of a cousin.” she smiled but saw she couldn’t really get through you. She put both of her hands on your shoulders and gave you a comforting smile. “You don’t have to trust them. You just have to trust me.” 

You tried to relax after those words but there was still the racing heartbeat and the sweat coming from your skin. You simpered at her and raised your head high. “That was always a mistake in Hogwarts.” you smiled and wrapped your arm around her. 

She laughed and stomped clumsily along side you. “I have no bloody clue of what you are talking about. You loved getting into trouble with me.” 

---

Both of you entered the room that was just as dark as the hallway, maybe a bit lighter. As soon as you were in the room, Tonks left your side and stepped to the tall, scarred man. She smiled brightly and you swore you could see her eyes glimmer as she looked at him. He wasn’t much different. As soon as he saw Tonks enter the room, he was beaming and his cheeks could reach his narrow, green eyes. 

“This is Remus Lupin.” she introduced, pointing at another following people. “Molly and Arthur Weasley, Mad-Eye Moody and-” she stopped and turned back to Remus. “Where’s my cousin? Don’t tell me he went to brood in his room again?” she put her hand gently on Remus’ chest and you felt your eyebrow quirk. 

That was “friendly”.

Remus chuckled at her comment and pointed at the space behind you. “He’s just-”

“Brooding in my room, cousin? Really?” a man appeared behind you and without a doubt you jumped in front. 

He  only walked on the other side of the room and leaned on the fire place, nibbling on some roasted peanuts. He smiled wickedly at you- wickedly? No, that’s not the right word. Perhaps more mischiviously than wickedly. There was definetly something in this man that caused a cold shiver run down your spine. 

“You are a Scorpio after all. “

“My sign has nothing to do with that. Though we do get dark a few times but we’re also quite charming, mysterious... sexual.” his eyes flashed at yours for a second before back at the couple in front. A grin twisted itself on his lips and he nibbled on another peanut.

“Mhm.” Tonks narrowed her eyes at him. 

“Who’s this?” he let the bag in his hand drop on the table and cross his arms in front of his chest. 

“That’s my good friend (y/n)(y/l/n).” she introduced and after she, you and most of the people in the room expected Sirius to say something in return, he only stared. The tension started to built and you could feel an odd knot form in your stomach. Your gut was telling you this man was not someone to be trusted and at times like this you relied more on your gut than you did on your brain. 

He could see it in your eyes. They way the fire burnt in them, he knew you didn’t trust him, not even the slightest. 

“How do you do?” another man, Remus, if you recall, stretched out his hand and gently smiled at you. “I’m Remus Lupin, as Tonks said before.”

You averted your gaze away from the man with black curls to the man with light brown hair. He was more gentle on the eyes, easy on the smile and when you took his hand, the grip was firm yet too soft. 

A smile, just as easy as his, and eyes just as gentle, appeared on your face and you introduced yourself to each and one in the room except one. When it was his turn, he stood in front of you, eyes blazing, lips sealed and curved into a smirk. He just stood there, observing your every corner as you did the same to him.

There was something between the two of you that was seen to everybody. You didn’t trust him and he surely didn’t trust you. 

“Can we trust you?” he said without any introduction. 

“100%.” you answered without a heartbeat. “Can we trust you?”

“They can, you...well, you should watch your back.” he kept his stand close meanwhile you only furrowed your eyebrows.

“Can you not be so dramatic for once, cousin.” Tonks got inbetween the two of you. “Scorpios, I’m telling you.” she shook her head and lead you out of the room. 

When the two of you were out of sight you turned to Tonks and spoke. “I don’t trust him.”

“He’s family.” she brushed her hand as it was nothing, then after a few moments of pondering what she said, she awkwardly stretched a smile and chuckled. “I know what you mean. He is family but-BUT he’s not like them. He got betrayed by his best friend. I’m just saying he has hard time trusting new people.”

“That makes two of us.” 

--- 

From all of responsibility, you had to be given this one. 

‘ You ran after her. “Tonks! TONKS!” you shouted meanwhile she kept storming away. You grabbed her by the arm and turned her to you. “I did not apply for this just so I can babysit a grown man!” 

“You are not babysitting him! You are being in charge to stay here until we come back!” she snapped back. 

“Trust me, darling. I’m not fond of being stuck here with you either.” he smirked and leaned on the door frame. 

“Bog off, Sirius.” Tonks snarked at him before turning back to you. “It’s only for a few days and you are needed here. If anything goes wrong and if the Death Eaters catch you, how will I live with myself? If your cousin gets you in his hands for what you did to him, he won’t just kill you. He’ll make you want to be killed. You’re too important. Pureblood, wealthy, respected! “

“I don’t care!”

“You should!” she snapped back meanwhile Sirius only watched. “You think your mother and father died protecting you so you can get killed! No! So stop looking for ways to get killed and do as you are told!” and with that she was out of sight. ‘

She just had to use your parents against you. 

She was right, though. In any way, your cousin put a bounty on you and it’s not cheap. 

You sat on the sofa with your head laid back and your eyes on the ceiling. 

He popped in your sight, a mischief reflecting in those light blue eyes and before you know it he was grinning at you like someone up to no good. “I’m not that bad once you get to know me.” 

“You told me to watch my back with you. That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

“I was only trying to intimidate you. Maybe scare you away. I hate new recruits.” he jumped over the sofa with a glass bottle in his hand and two glasses in the other. 

“What’s this?” you glanced down at his hands.

“This is- what I call- a nice way of getting through the day.” he put both of them on the table and started pouring. “You don’t have to but you should. You’re way too tense.” he took the full glass in his hand and leaned on the sofa.

“That’s because I’m around you.” you took the other glass in your own hand and took a sip...

or two...

or three....

or maybe a few too many because the next thing that you remember is lying on the sofa with  your head on his lap. One of his arms was holding an empty glass meanwhile the other was resting on your hip. He was pulling in light snores. You tried to sit up but your head kept dragging you back down. It was heavy- it was hangover.

“What time is it?” you tried to look at the clock but everything seemed so blurry. You squeezed your eyes, trying to sharpen the view but it didn’t much help due to the headache. 

“My neck is stuck.” he groaned and tried to raise his head. 

You looked at him with completely swollen eyes and with all the energy in your body, you climbed up to him, put your hands around his neck and trying to lift it gently. 

“It’s completely sore.” he gritted his teeth as his eyes were now directed at you. “Thank you.” he said, looking up at you with those gentle eyes of his.

“You get a girl wasted and expect to take care of your hangover. Chilvarous.” you smiled and started to pull your hands away from his neck but he stopped you. His hands were holding your forearms and he gently put them back. 

“I didn’t mean to.” he left another grin form on his lips as your hands dug into his curls. “But you were definetly more loose and fun when you were not hating me and actually enjoying my company.” his hands slid down your hips and you climbed up his lap, leaning in. At first it was only a small graze of your lips against his but with the taste of it, you dived into those lips like they were honey. There was still a taste of alcohol as your tongues danced tongether but you didn’t mind. Your mind, his mind, your body, his body,... everything was still intoxicated and both of you were just being careless. 

He was a great kisser, the kind that can make you drunk in their own way and his hands- his hands were all over you. The way they roamed your body, the way his fingers dug into your skin was euphoric... until he pulled away and tried to speak. “This-” he whispered but you only dived into another kiss, not even letting him finish.

“Less talking.” you bit his lower lip and he chuckled into it.

“You’re trouble.” 

“So are you.”

“This isn’t right-” 

“Isn’t it?” you let your hands travel to his scruffy beard and your thumb brush over his lips. 

He gently placed a kiss on it, looking up as you sent him a dangerous smirk. 

“So what’s it going to be, Sirius Black?”

---

Oh, how he wished he hadn’t done what he did. Everything you did was driving him insane right now. The way you leaned to put the plates on the table, the way your hand reached to put the salt in the middle, your thigh, your back-

“Sirius!” Tonks snapped her fingers in front of him and all the attention fell back on him. He shook his head to look at his cousin but already, your eyes were on his and they were dangerous to look at since the night the two of you had. “Listen to me.” 

“Yeah, sorry- sorry.” he turned to Tonks, taking last look at you before focusing all his mind on his cousin. “I’m listening.

But that look, that last glance at you was one too many because now Tonks knew and she wasn’t much happy about that. He grabbed Sirius by the sleeve and started pulling him away into a quiet, more private room. She slammed the door behind her and started shouting. 

“HOW DARE YOU, SIRIUS ORION BLACK! HOW BLOODY DARE YOU!” she shouted and he tried to shush her. “THE FIRST FEMALE FRIEND I BRING AND YOU’RE ALREADY CRAWLING UP HER KNICKERS LIKE SOME SORT OF- OF A SLAG!

“Shut up, Tonks!” he put her hand across her mouth. “ Don’t you think I know that! I know. I know. I shouldn’t have but we were both bored and drunk and one thing led to another-”

“YOU GOT HER DRUNK!” she was mortified. “She is trying her best, Sirius! She is trying to clear her family’s name and the first thing you do is-”

“I know Nymphadora!” he snapped and she shut her lips tight. “I know.” he said ashamed. “I know I shouldn’t have done what I did but it happened and I can’t take it back.”

He looked at her, eyes guilty and cheeks dropped. She knew that look. She knew it...it was the same one Remus gave her each time she tried more with him. She loved Remus from the depths of her heart. She loved him like any person can love another but he always denied himself her and his own love. 

“Oh, Merlin.” she sat on the bed and burried her head in her palms. “You have feelings for her, don’t you?” 

“I do.” he replied shamefully and her head shot up at his tone. “But I won’t come close to her again. I’ll leave her alone. I’m too old for her anyway-”

“Shut your mouth right now, Sirius Black.” she stormed to him, her head burning red. “You won’t ignore her! You won’t hurt her just because there is a gap between the two of you. If she doesn’t want to date you, she won’t but you are not going to just leave her like she was this- this one night stand! Do you know how that feels, pinning after somebody meanwhile they turn you the blind eye! It’s not fair, Remus! It’s just not fair!” she continued to shout meanwhile Sirius listened.

She knows what she called him and so did he. He couldn’t overhear it. Her hair turned blue and she stepped away. 

“Remus, huh?” Sirius simpered. “He’s a good man.”

“Sometimes too good for his own sake.” Tonks continued before putting her hand up his cheek and speaking for the last time. “It’s not fair to deny her and yourself the love you both want.” and with that she was gone. 

---

Sirius stood in the middle of he room, still pondering everything, over and over again. It was so much...so many years...and you were just so beautiful, so young, so full of life meanwhile he-

“Sirius?” there was a knock on his door and he looked up to see who it was, though that voice could belong only to one person and one person only. 

He wanted to smile yet he couldn’t. 

“It was a mistake, (y/n).” he said, looking away. 

That caused your heart to squeeze but you swallowed the feeling and continued his way. “It wasn’t to me.” you stood in front of him with your hands touching his curls. “And I know it wasn’t to you as well.” your hand slid down to his stubble and you smiled. 

He still couldn’t look up. “I’m a burdon.”

“You’re not a burdon.” you objected. “At least not to me.” yet he still didn’t want to look at you. “Look at me Sirius.” you lifted up his chin yet his eyes still didn’t reach you...until he gathered the courage and finally let himelf see you. Why were you so breath-taking all of a sudden? Why did he had to do this to himself? He’ll end up hurt.

“I’m not someone you want a future with.”

“I won’t know if I don’t try.” you smiled and leaned down into a gentle kiss. His hands wrapped themselves around your thigh and he pulled you on his lap. 

“You’re driving me mad, you know.” he spoke, looking down on your lips and kissing them. 

“Am I?” you smiled,letting your hands travel to his neck and your nails scratch the back of it. You leaned your whole body against his own and brushed your lips on his.

“You’re a dangerous woman, (y/n)(y/l/n).” he smiled, kissing you once. “You’re going to make me fall in love with you.” kissing you twice. “And I don’t think I could recover from that.” kissing you one more time.

“I’m willing to try this if you are.”

He looked up at the danger in front and in a heartbeat, he said. “100%”.

[awaylaughing]

Pippa and Hamin for the ship meme!

let’s GOOOOO. Under a read more because I can talk about Ideas For Fucking Ever. The meme in question and if you read this and think “golly gee, I’d love to give you an opprotunity to chat more about othere people” I have a shiny new character page you could reference here.

who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter

This one I had to think about. Hamin probably makes a better werewolf, but Pippa makes a UNIQUELY terrible hunter so, pivoting ever so slightly maybe she’s more like a behind the scenes information broker type (Pippa, Collector and Keeper of Secrets is incredibly canon after all). She’d obviously have to start off allied with the hunters, to keep the tension with Hamin real and true. Hamin’s pack doesn’t have the WORST reputation possible, but they’re definitely not above suspicion. They retain their passion for ocean voyages, which strikes other people as odd because prejudice.

That said, you know who ALSO makes a great werewolf? Pippa’s mother and “aunt”, Roshan and Jessamine, so Pippa as part of a bamf all lady’s wolf pack who get tangled up with hunter shenanigans is also an excellent plot. Not least because Pippa would be a very pretty wolf, I dare say (maybe they’d actually be were-jackels, a la the Golden Jackel? A Consideration, given where I HC a modern AU Pippa would be from).

In this case I’d say the lady’s pack almost never maul people, except maybe domestic abusers and rapists, but who can blame them? So another pack moves in (it’s prob Jarrude’s lbr) and causes problems and Very Serious Hunter Hamin (ha) has to wade through the complicated world of lycanthrope politics to find The Truth. And of course falls in love with the nicest werewolf this side of whatever major geographical feature of your choice.

who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman

Mermaid Pippa and “fisherman” Hamin, natch. Pippa’s not very ruthless canonically, but I can apply liberal use of Alternate Cultural POVs On Ethics and say Pippa only leaves her goaded people on rocks, she never drowns them! That’s very nice of her! And sometimes she pulls an Ariel and helps a bro out, which is probably related to how her and Hamin meet. Some options:

1. Pippa had previously saved Hamin’s life, so in turn, something happens and she gets caught, and he saves her life as repayment. Similar to Bog Standard Plot Below, she’s obviously too injured to return to sea so they’re forced to cohabitate. High jinks and romance ensue.

2. Bog standard mermaid washed ashore plot. Bathtub high jinks ensue. There’s a scene where someone catches Hamin carrying a bucket of raw fish into his house and he has to explain it away. Leala catches on in the first 20 mins. At some point, they’re forced to bring Pippa to dinner with Hamin’s dad and there is much nerves, only for Pippa to reveal she’s stranded many a gentlemen adventurer in her time and she picked up some epic etiquette knowledge along the way.

3. Hamin gets stranded somewhere and Pippa’s the only person around who can come visit. It starts with her bringing him fish. Requisite Second Act Breakup is when Pippa, conscience having formed in the last hour of run time, reveals a way off his small deserted island. Obviously, he sails off in a huff and they meet up again in the next 35 minutes, have the big damn kiss and idk how you turn this one into a true happy ending and not a sort of esoteric one but Hollywood and or an Indie Darling Director will manage.

who’s the witch and who’s the familiar

Witch Pippa, hands down the answer. She gets it from her grandmother (er, step-grandmother?). Does Hamin have an animal form? If so, does it align to Pippa Aesthetic and is he a snakey boi or, does he get to pick? What would Hamin pick? Seagull - the goose of the sea?

Other option is he’s always human and either case I’m betting Hamin’s not a traditional familiar. Rather, he needed to get out Faerie/Familiarland STAT and filched Pippa’s contract off a Traditional And Proper Familiar and got himself a ticket to human land away from whoever he pissed off.

High jinks ensue.

who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict

I had to think about this one because I mean let’s be very real here - neither Pippa, Quintessential Nice But Still Privileged Rich Girl or Hamin “cause problems for the staff on purpose” are shoe ins for having worked for customer service. That said, Hamin’s more likely to piss off his dad and be forced to get a job and like, have a real person job in general. So, Hamin’s barista job is his in-world Summit equivelent and he planned to quit the moment he paid off whatever damages he’s definitely paying off.

Except, Pippa comes in and orders only moderately complicated coffee orders and this isn’t a place that does the name thing so Hamin knows Nothing except she’s friendly and pretty and omg this one is perfect to throw in the OT3 because clearly the only reason he doesn’t just immediately ask Pippa for her name and number and also the next 20 years of her life pls and thanks is her hot boyfriend.

(But it’s okay, Pippa has two hands and so does Zarad u_u)

Otherwise she’d have to be someone who just comes to drive through bc idk why he’d hold off on asking since this is HAMIN we’re talking about.

who’s the professor and who’s the TA

...either of these two in academia is an interesting prospect. Maybe he’s a kid who got into archeology because of Indiana Jones and, while there’s far fewer chase scenes and death traps, Hamin ended up with a PhD and a job and look, he’s as confused as you are about how this all happened. It’s alright though because the job does come with cute anthropology TAs who work in an allied and often cross referential field. Pippa’s less immediately enamoured with Hamin but warms up because he’s the only person who actually listens to her and doesn’t treat her like she’s a child just because she’s a short woman.

This one could be set in exciting locales for a bit of Indie Flavour but with more consent and less horrifying age gaps, and no breaking of international laws and if anyone gets squished by rocks it’s a horrifying rock slide scenario.

Alternatively, polisci professor Pippa is working alongside the marine biology department to work on smth enviro-politics and ocean protection. TA Hamin is Very Enthusiastic about helping her out. This one features a scene where people naturally assume Hamin’s the professor and he trolls the ever living shit out of them.

This one is set in conferences which is 10000% less sexy but also way more familiar.

Depends on the vibes u want. Either way, Lyon is there somewhere and he and Pippa are unlikely friends purely because 4′10″ Pippa and like, 6′5″ or whatever Lyon being friends is never not hilarious. He definitely disapproves of Hamin just in general but especially in a library setting.

who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss)

This is legit a Knight’s Tale AU, except instead of Jousting, we’ll say Hamin ends up taking Princess Pippa across the country as a sort of personal security situations and, as usual high jinks ensue. IDK who makes the best Chaucer stand in as a pal to help Hamin in his quest but he definitely needs the help. Pippa catches on like, super fast anyway because her interpersonal insight is boss af but she just goes with it because it’s amusing and he’s doing a fine job.

Another candidate for the OT3 bc Chaucer!Zarad is perfect, but so is the plot being that Hamin and Zarad had a thing aaages ago, now Pippa’s being carted off to marry prince Zarad and oh hey this is also nearly a Sinbad AU but with the proper Poly Ending in place

There is no AU where Pippa’s a the knight to Hamin’s prince, I’m sad to say. Her martial skills are about nil.

who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent

HMMM. I think Early Childhood Specialist Hamin and Parent Pippa shake out best, mostly because at the end of the day I don’t think Pippa like...likes kids that much. She doesn’t dislike them but she’d never want a life devoted to spending all her time with them. Her own kids though, different story.

Evil instinct says dad is Clarmont, because I feel like Clarmont is really easy to kill off in incredibly tragic but heroic circumstances and Modern AU Pippa would totally be down for a Clarmont romance. Anyway, Pippa has an adorable little girl who thinks Mr. Hamin is the BEST teacher, he helped her dig up worms for her show and tell at recess mama!

Pippa and Hamin in this set up don’t actually meet for like, a solid three months so they both form skew-whiff images of the other and so they get a CLASSIC “oh no (s)he’s hot / THIS IS MR. HAMIN / THIS IS MS. X” moment. Adorable Little Girl is captain of this ship despite being like, 4 and Pippa and Hamin are just along for the ride.

High jinks ensue.

(alt bc I’m never not on my bullshit dad is Zarad, and not dead and they just never married bc Family Drama and OT3 babey)

who’s the writer and who’s the editor

Absolutely writer Hamin and editor Pippa. She inherited from someone who quit and she really shakes things up by like, having Expectations and shit and Hamin, who’s been not in a good place following a personal trauma, finds himself annoyed for all of two seconds before she shows up on his doorstep on the day after a due date because if he wants to play Pippa will Play. And oh no, she’s cute. Hamin is enraptured, Pippa just wants him to work at first. Romance blossoms lopsidedly but he charms her after some sort of deal is struck that includes her dragging him out of the house to buy food or just go for a walk or whatever.

Shenanigan ensue.

This one is pure fluff about the power of human connection, there is no second act drama they get to skip ahead AND collect their 20 dollars it’s great.

[imacrowcawcaw]

Treasure Ch. 1 (Penntin)

(Ao3)

Pairing: “Penny” Adiyodi/Quentin Coldwater, past Penny/Pearl Sunderland, past Quentin/Alice Quinn, background Margo & Eliot

Fandom: The Magicians (TV)

Length of series: who knows

Warnings/tags: magic (like duh), universe alterations, canon divergence (obviously), spells gone wrong, magic rituals, slow build, enemies to friends to lovers, first kiss, first time, snuggling and cuddling, Penny is very physically affectionate believe it or not, attempted humor, fluff, angst, smut, happy ending

Summary: 

Quentin fucks up a spell (Penny may or may not have also helped/hindered).

Quentin is the reason Penny can’t see unless he’s hugging him and also why everything smells like the Bog of Eternal Stench.

Quentin’s run-amuck brain brings all sorts of problems to the table.

Quentin is starting to make Penny feel funny in his chest (and his pants). 

Fuck Quentin, man.

Author’s Notes: I’m nearly through season one and am also not willing to put in hours of research on this universe’s magical rituals, so -- keep that in mind, I guess. That being said, I am in LOVE with this show and also this pairing. 78 stories on ao3?!? Fair, but sad…. I am falling hard and fast for Penntin (idk the ship name). So I had to write out everything in my brain. So here. Plays off of some the other fics on here, particularly “Practical applications of falling in love” -- kudos to you, @echomoon, that was amazing and I can’t stop thinking on the concept!! 

----------

The smell was everywhere. It burned through Penny’s nose like it had a personal vendetta against every single one of his nostril hairs (which, it had been kindly pointed out a few years ago by a bitch who will remain unnamed, numbered quite a few. Especially visible when underneath him, which almost everyone was in this apparent plane of Hobbits. Right, moving on. Bitch.)

He covered his nose with his hands, then the scarf wrapped loosely around his neck - purple silk, today - but the smell just kept coming and coming until he was nearly choking. 

In the back of his mind, Penny could feel the waves of panic, frustration, and disgust coming off of Quentin fucking Coldwater in a mixture much similar to what he was feeling. More panic, or course, cause the guy was a walking circus accident, and some various streams of babbling mind diarrhea lamenting about the awful smell. Surprisingly, the guy had a vocabulary Penny could almost be impressed by. But he was much more focused on himself and his dying nose, no matter how insistent Quentin’s feelings were.

And Penny would like to point out that he never willingly associated with that geek. It was always outside forces convening to push them together, whether in a study group or room assignments or the weird-ass plot against their lives that somehow connected Mothman and cursed daggers and creepy pedaphilic authors (that he would have liked to punch in the face).

Of course, that ever-present, invisible asshole (fate, god, the Dean; what did he care?) pushed them together yet again with more disastrous results. 

Like them being together in the same room at all.

Like them being paired up to do spell work.

Like them fucking it up. 

The disastrous fucking results he just knew were going to happen were, apparently, this smell. He had scented some pretty bad (literal) shit in his lifetime, but nothing compared to the absolute atrocity that was Quentin bungling a simple ass locator spell. 

“Oh, my god!”

And that was the fucking idiot, desperately clutching his ever-present baggy shirt over his face like it would do some good against it. Magical stenches did not, as it appeared, let themselves be blocked out so easily. 

Penny rolled his eyes - watering like a baby’s, he might add - and made his way over to a window on the backside of the class, pounding at the frame with his fist when it wouldn’t fucking budge. 

Stupid Quentin, going and burning his nose because he couldn’t fucking concentrate on anything other than Alice’s tits. Bet he had something to do with the stuck window, too. 

“Come ON, fucking open!” Penny muttered. 

He was desperate for fresh air. He would beg and cry if he had to - his eyes were already crying, and also did he mention fuck this? - but he just needed this goddamn window to open up, so if he could just get the latch to jiggle a little more to the left-

Aha! Fresh air!

Penny stuck his head out of the window and breathed in deeply, opening his mouth as wide as it would go like a dog on a car ride. He gulped and drank in the life-giving oxygen -- but, but it was-

“-ON’T PENNY! GET AWAY FROM THERE!”

Ugh, Quentin. Trust him to fuck up not only the air inside the classroom but the whole fucking campus as well. He would have to be funding the entire infirmary at this point. 

Sighing (and then retching), Penny pulled back to shut the window and noticed something real fucking peculiar. And creepy. 

Either he had been blinded by the horrible smell - and it was that bad, he wasn’t immediately discounting the theory - or a thick fucking fog had rolled in while Penny wasn’t paying attention. Cause he couldn't see anything. All across his field of vision was grey -- actually, it was more of a murky blue than grey, and it was moving at a surprising speed for having no conceivable end to it. And it was so thick (like Quentin, god Penny was going to fucking kill him).

“Penny! Please get away from the window!”

Quentin was pleading with him now, and Penny almost felt bad about how scared he sounded -- not entirely, though; that voice crack was hilarious. Idiot fucking deserved to be scared. Look what he had done!

He turned around to tell him just that, except for, uh, he couldn’t see him. The fog was in the room. 

The podium near Penny’s left side was a vaguely visible outline, and the front lab table even less so -- man, don’t even get him started on the desks and chairs. There was nothing. He could be in Fillory for all he knew- oh. Hell to the fucking no.

“Quentin!” He roared, “Where the fuck are we?!”

“Wh- what do you mea-- here! We’re in class! Where the hell are you?”

So that was a relief, if a disappointing one (those were called oxymorons, right? Fits. Quentin was a moron who was causing him to run out of fucking oxygen.)

“I’m by the window, dumbass! Trying to get some fresh fucking air, cause you fucking destroyed it all and replaced it with dog shit!”

This is worse than dog shit.

Oh god-fucking-damn. He did not need Quentin’s thoughts right now. Penny carefully moved forward, sweeping one foot in an arch across his path before he stepped down. 

He figured Quentin was doing the same, because he heard the rambling oh fuck what was that where am I where’s Penny I’m such an idiot oh my god was that a rat streaming through his head as Coldwater, clearly, let all his wards down in an effort to fully concentrate on navigation and breathing. 

This once, Penny couldn’t quite blame him for devoting all of his energy to the task at hand instead of blocking him off -- but it was still annoying. He was so good at concentrating and yet Quentin managed to get into his brain clear as glass. And he was so fucking annoying. 

“Fuck, Coldwater! Shut the hell up!” Penny sighed and paused, running a hand over his hair. The waves of panic were increasing. “Just stay where you are and I’ll come to you. But stop thinking, please.”

“Yeah, okay- oh! Ow, fuck…”

There was a loud crash and then Quentin's pained noises as he clearly ran into some sort of furniture. Penny sighed again. What idiot had let this guy anywhere near a spellbook? (Nevermind how powerful he occasionally was -- that didn’t make up for stupidity.)

Penny breathed deeply - the one meditation practice he admitted could help, if only to calm him down - and kept making his slow way across the room. He was pretty sure that he was in the center of the room now, but he also knew that not being able to see made distances seem much longer than they were. 

He took another step and ended up tripping over the same goddamn chair Quentin had apparently ran into, because his body landed on another guy’s that made a pathetic “ow” noise again. 

“Jesus Christ, Quent, you could of at least picked yourself back up off of… the…. floor,” he slowly trailed off, looking around. 

There was no more fog. There was no more burning smell. The classroom was exactly like it was before they had started the chant -- empty desks and chairs left behind by all the people who didn’t have slow idiot’s for lab partners, wood paneling that tried and failed to look classy, and the front lab table covered in various magical instruments. 

“What the hell?”

Quentin sat up underneath him - as much as he could - rubbing his nose and sniffing deeply. Penny agreed. The air felt amazing, like a soothing balm on his poor, abused air canals. 

He quickly realized that there was still a geek that was responsible for all this mess half-lying on the floor underneath his body, and that someone could walk in at any moment. So that was un-fucking-desirable, in multiple ways (ugh, Quentin. Just thinking about him made Penny shudder.)

With a quick brace of his arms, Penny bolted upright and took several steps away from the nerd -- back into the fog and the awful smell. 

“Ah!”

He looked around, confused and pissed off. Was this some kind of joke the kid was trying to pull on him? 

Penny tried to do a simple fire spell, then again, and again; each time more desperately than the last. Nothing. It was like the fog was muting his magic -- it was curling in scarily tentacle-like clouds around his hands, engulfing them in dense smoke and snuffing out any sparks he could have produced. 

Now Penny was panicking a little. 

He was still mostly pissed off, mostly- extremely pissed at Quentin, possibly more than he ever had been before, and frustrated with just a twinge of panic at the absence of his magic; the opposite of the nervous nellie probably still huddled around a chair leg on the floor. 

Something grabbed at his foot, and, suddenly, the smell and fog had gone away again. He could breathe and see and there was a rather large flame coming from his hands, a culmination of the previously snuffed flames all working together to express his rage through fire. 

When he looked down, Quentin was actually clinging to his foot, not a chair, and looking very nervous. What was new. Penny tried to kick him off and succeeded after a moment, the blueness invading so suddenly he didn’t even notice the smell for a second. 

Then it was gone, again - he was gonna get whiplash from this shit - and Quentin was hugging his leg, again. This time he looked more sheepish than nervous, and it made Penny want to kick him in the face. 

(Ch. 2 on Tumblr)

“I, uh- I think that the fog and the smell only happens when we’re not touching each other.”

What. 

Well, it made sense considering the last three minutes of god dicking with the light switch - not to mention Quentin’s history of idiocracy and miss-castings, but-. Come on.

“Coldwater, I. Am. Going. To. Fucking. Kill. You.”

-----

(Ch. 2 on Tumblr)

[misterbitches]

i said i would talk about saizon and usually i would be under the influence. but i am not yet. read the * at end of the post first if u want clarification of overall.

i might mention torfight (will refer as f/t) but if anyone gets upset just chill. it’s a really inconsequential opinion. the chances of someone stumbling upon this means nothing. it isnt’ a compare and contrast just how i personally feel while viewing these shows. and i probably want to dive into what this means in a broader context since i have all the time and brain space in the world 

from the first encounter of saifah and zon or their first encounter outside of their “kiss” (LOL? so unnecessary) it was clear that as awkward as it could or may be there was natural chemistry. which i want my tiny head to explore.

so a lot of BL (which is like....tv and movies etc in general anyways) hell even dramas may have a less sexual undertone to get to where they are going. which i think is a problem with tv in general (a friend was bringing this up with the new rules of social distancing on set which...capitalism but whatever)  where sex is a vehicle for connection. a lot of BLs can be explicit i suppose, but in the west it’s like jumping into bed is a huge base for a lot of couples. also everyone fucks too much who cares.

but sex, kisses, hookups, any nudity, etc is not a placeholder for like actual intimacy, romantic love, showing love. that’s part of why i hate the concept of love at first sight, at least the way it plays out. you can really like someone, hell maybe even love, when you see them or feel this bond but the bond isn’t because you TOUCHED them.

there’s a difference between natural chemistry and forced. natural chemistry is what you would prefer which is why casting directors have literally chemistry tests to test your compatibility as actors, with a writer/director, and on camera. there can be people whose chemistry develops and we see the potential, or people who we know don’t love each other IRL and this is acting but it’s still powerful. but this always means you have to give them the time and space. actors can jump in/out of character but it’s human nature. if two peopl eare meeting for the first time and have to simulate sex there’s going to be this natural like...strangeness. obviously. viewers can see it.

so when you get two people who click irl and it doesn’t always have to be romantic or sexually it’s kind of more of a thrill. very obviously mii2 are a lot more flexible around each other so it is less mechanic. i think i like watching tharntype because even tho i feel like parts of it seriously need some oil, i can see and understand a relationship developing through their characters as they act (and i do not particularly think they are good actors.)

the friendship that saizon display—whether we think it is spontaneous and too quick or not—is legitimately nice. and they are very obviously comfortable with each other. i guess there can be an idea of romantic friendship (but idk abt that one, we dont have to fucking label everything you can love someone so deeply in your own way outside of our parameters bla bla capitalism ruining everything bla bla individualism)

they got in each others faces, then would do very weird shit together, because that’s who they are. for me personally i think being able to have fun with your partner is iMPERATIVE. one of my fav moments is when they fucking meow at each other (which i know is a thai joke, right? idk) and it is so weird but you can tell they understand the way they communicate?

to me  like...having someone you feel something deep with is that there’s this role you guys are playing, it’s a joke you started, and with the best kind of intimacy and love your partner can keep it going, keep it rolling, hang it up in the air and you guys just go back adn forth....forever lol 

i also legitimately think it is important to hammer home the fact that you are yourself without a partner and i really resent a message that makes it seem like you can’t live without someone. maybe a lack of saizon was good that way. like they existed as two seperate people. their love and attraction weren’t the only thing going for them. it was just natural and very nice.

this particular display of romance and affection is one that’s strong but doesn’t take itself too seriously. not because you don’t want to lose them but because there’s enough security. or like, it’s really guided by this unspeakable feeling you feel with another person. 

i’m not sure if that means soulmates but it’s something close. saifah doesn’t expect zon to be someone he can’t, but it doesn’t mean he has to let himself go completely for him. when he expressed being sad that zon pulled away it’s normal. and zon knew he couldn’t do it but they still got through it. and then he pats the bed and saifah jumps on him.

these types of couples remind me of why i feel the way i do about love. i can’t imagine something fucking bogging me down, where i feel like i can’t get up without pulling me, where i don’t feel myself first. zon was figuring himself out and he was thinking of himself and his feelings. bc he should. 

that’s another reason why trapped MC (H3) is one of my favs. first of all THEY LAUGHED TOGETHER WHICH IS LIKE A REQUIREMENT UR NO FUN IF UR A SQUARE and second of all they were going to spend year apart and could do that. had to. fuck the carceral state but. 

you don’t ask someone to give up a part of themselves, you only want them to be the best they can be. it isnt through demands it’ sgrowing with them and fucking respecting them with everything you have. and it means having a foundation outside of them, too. 

i know people get upset at the “love anybody but u have to love yourself” adage but i don’t really see it tht way. i absolutely believe you need to learn to be healthy alone and have a community. rely on all sorts of people. have different types of love and figure yourself out. we can’t be free as human beings without it and i would rather fucking die than not feel free. 

oh and like....being with someone where you feel seen and heard not shamed. i read this thing in the atlantic like, partnerships fail a lot because of lack of validation. imagine having someone who trusts you, and maybe helps to trust yourself, and validates you by being there. nice.

and it’s nice having someone you love so deeply and beautifully along for the ride. instead of no actual pleasure outside of sex, your relationship IS the pleasure. beautiful stunning etc. and that’s what makes everythign feel good the love, sex, living, whatever. with someone and with yourself.

this got away from me in conclusion theyre very cute eand that’s cos it’s easy and natural. mii2 are fun to watch as saizon and themselves. life shouldnt be too hard. im a big fan of working as little as possible and being happy kekekek

*i am talking monogamy, love, and the self. why only ‘traditional’ rships? first: i literally cannot handle people because i can’t handle my mind. non-monagamy is incredibly alluring to me for my autonomy, in the abstract, and in theory. however, in practice, i don’t think—for me as a black woman and what it means for me—i can enact anything i feel would be detrimental to me or puts me in a position where i feel forced into a dynamic i no longer care for. 

and who knows if that changes? i only do and care about the things i like and find important. no one else but me, family, and friends. how i choose. so i am talking abt monogamy but u can interpret that for other rships if you wish. 

second: it’s. my. life. 

i dont carrreeee about monogamy/non monagamy outside of liberation and sexual freedom and what does that mean?  there is no blueprint for that. there is no future expectation for a relationship, there is nothing but how we choose to interact with the world and community. first and foremost: love means so many things and it doesn’t have to mean any “new” ideas. or “instincts.” who fucking cares. we can’t reimagine literal relationships, people are fucking toxic in all types of them, only reimagine how we interact with ourselves and each other. there is no fucking guarantee with any of this we are safe. you cannot predict life. just live it. honor yourself first. there’s some black feminists books on like love and intimacy if you are curious how capitalism binds us. we keep wanting to find solutions WITHIN when its like nah, it;s our own fuckin terms. self-love becomes the love you can extract from others. it isn’t sustainable. 

ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN = JENNY HOLZER