#but idk if i’d even really say i chose my gender

[sol-draws-sometimes]

Disc World bookclub thoughts- Monstrous Regiment

Pages 1-12

Okay @anna-neko

I delayed this because I was embarrassed by how little I read but I said I'd do this so here are my thoughts.

1. I like how Terry Prachet writes! Very up my ally. Also, bare minimum, but he DOESN'T HAVE "written by a man" syndrome when describing women so far which is so refreshing

2. I just really how he writes! Here’s an example of a line I liked. He’s just very witty!

Also, he’s pretty good and expositions, and just incorporating things into the story very seamlessly. And the little “side tangents” are all very interesting to me! Idk, it’s not just good characters/dialogue/plot, like the actual writing/choice of words are very good!

3. I love Polly so far, and I love how she chose her name Oliver from the song, well they haven't directly said that but it's called ✨reading between the lines✨

4. Polly trying to pretend to be a guy is so amusing for me! He makes funny observations about gender that don't feel soo stereotypical "women and men so different" if that makes sense??? Like there are societal upbringings that effect how different genders act, but it doesn't feel like is innate, WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS, MEN ARE LIKE THAT!!

5. I love how when she tried to enlist Sargent was like, “damn, didn’t even have to convince you.” I’m just meeting the others but I haven’t gotten much besides Chinny absolutely embarrassing themself.

My main question is why Polly’s doing this. I’m assuming it’s cause she admires are dad, especially since loved hearing the stories and songs. But there’s this line so idk, though it could very much be the author’s critique and not exactly from Polly.

I thought I’d read more but I had to do ✨summer semester ✨ for my scholarship, so I kinda overestimated the amount of time/mental energy I had to read. Beating myself up didn’t help tho. I’ll try to read more consistently and be nicer to myself so that I read more next week! It’s been an enjoyable read so far! Might get some reading in on 4th of July! Which I had more eloquent things to say besides, “I like book!” But hey it be like that. Hopefully I formatted everything correctly!

Next->

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

The grooming one made me think: what do you think of the Darkling and Ivan's relationship?

Re: this ask

I think it, and Ivan generally as a character, is severely underutilized and I’m mad that he dies so quickly in S&S. I have a lot of like circa 2015 fanon HCs about him— which is an ENTIRELY different vibe from post show fanon. But that’s neither here nor there.

In my opinion, the trilogy especially, is very much about like gendered exploitation and the privilege men have over women. So their dynamic is just framed differently, or at least isn’t given as much attention. I also think? that Ivan is an adult? It’s hard to say lol but he seems to be like in the army proper and completely finished with Grisha!high school.

However, as we see with Zoya, the Darkling’s usual mode seems to be like selecting his favorites when they’re still training and then enlisting them in his service— which could certainly be dubious! But we don’t see enough to draw many conclusions.

Anyway, the broad brush strokes of Ivan as the Darkling’s right hand man, who starts out fairly genuinely devoted to him, but then post nichevo’ya discovery/general insanity spiraling is unnerved by and afraid of him is really interesting! And I’d even argue that Ivan’s late S&B speech to Alina about why he’s devoted to the Darkling’s cause (his family kept dying in the war; everyone in power is so very sorry but the Darkling’s the only one who’s going to do anything about it) is the main linchpin for his side’s ideology and what characterizes it at all beyond cartoon fascism. It’s something I was REALLY mad the show chose not to include!! So he’s a really important character but yeah idk many missed opportunities and there’s not much to work with without having to fill in some blanks!

[thcangriestboy-a]

PSA

I’m going to call this a PSA mostly because idk what else to call it and it’s not really directly about David, but anyway...

I fully support roleplayers using whatever faceclaims they want for Marvel characters. I effectively have two for David, but I’d also love to see some more digging than the MCU does into the racial/ethnic/religious/gender identity/sexual orientation backgrounds of those characters whether you use the MCU casting .

The character that comes to mind first is Marc Spector/The Moon Knight System. I fall for the Oscar Isaac thirst trap every time. He is a beautiful man. He’s also Latino. He’s also not Jewish, but he was cast and as such is “official.” The MCU show implied he was Latino (by casting everyone else in his family as Latine) while also being Jewish, but never dealt with the implications of that. Was his dad still a rabbi? Were they converts? What did that mean for his childhood? For his dad’s childhood? For his mother’s post-Randall struggles? Anything? 

Let’s do all the things. 

If you choose to not go by the MCU and cast a Jewish actor who is not Latino, beautiful. I’m here for all the Marc/David interactions with or without MCU connections - not least of all because besides my fever dream of a Disney+ show where my David is MCU compliant, he isn’t. He’s not even really XMCU compliant by default. RIP the non-Disney+ Marvel TV days. I personally chose to retcon Noah Hawley’s major misstep (imo) of saying Gabrielle Haller was Romani. Not because I wouldn’t love to see what that would mean for Gabrielle and David, but because it was a superficial mention and not something made intrinsic to the character.

I strongly support color-conscious choices in storytellings, and this extends to sexual orientation and gender as well. The choice of race and ethnic background should always have an implication on the storytelling. For the best version of that please see the 2022 Interview with the Vampire series. I was a huge skeptic initially, but they won me over by making sure the casting was reflected in the storytelling.

TL:DR - I like seeing variety in face claims, but please have that impact your storytelling whether going with an “official” FC or making your own choice! Who cares about canon at the end of the day, but the choices you make about how your character looks, what religion they practice, and where their family comes from should impact the story you tell. Also, I’m very worried that the MCU is about to repeat some Moon Knight missteps with the casting of Reed Richards...

[yeetlegay]

Heya! Asking this as someone who has watched the movie Pretty Woman but not for a LONG time, so my memory is fuzzy.

If I recall correctly, there were some bits in various spots that I think wouldn't float today. So if the Pretty Woman movie were remade today, with an updated approach and more contemporary viewpoints on sex work, what do you think might change? How might the story go differently?

Partly I'm asking because I'm curious to see what different choices you make from the film in FLH. 🤔 *curious curious curious*

Ohhhh this is fun, although idk if I’m the person to speak in depth about the “right way” to tell a story about sex work. Most of what I know about the industry is based on either a) academic scholarship or b) conversations with friends who currently are or used to be in sex work. Representation of sex work is complicated and there are contradicting opinions even within the sex worker community about what it should look like.

With that disclaimer aside, the original Pretty Woman movie isn’t perfect by any means. I think its big weakness is with Vivian’s character and how they chose to write/depict her journey and backstory. They lean into this very Christian/evangelical/biblical idea that women become prostitutes because they have a low sense of self-worth or they’re tricked/forced into it. (I say women because the movie ignores the existence of male sex workers entirely, and is so heavy with the gender binary that trans and nonbinary sex workers are even further off its radar.) Obviously sex workers can have low self-worth just like anyone else, and it’s a high-risk profession that a lot of people get manipulated or trafficked into. The problem is that they didn’t have any other sex workers in the movie besides Vivian’s friend Kit, who’s in pretty much the same boat as far as character background and motivations.

(Throwing in a cut here, it’s about to get rambly lol)

So what hasn’t aged well for me is that Vivian’s development relies so much on ideas about sex work that minimize women’s agency and moralize their sexuality. Vivian got to be the main character in the movie, the person people rooted for, because a) she was ashamed of how she made a living and b) her arc centered around self-esteem and wanting to be “saved” from poverty and exploitation, both of which made her a kind of Mary Magdalene figure that was the only archetype of a sex worker that would be palatable/sympathetic to a broad audience’s values and norms.

That perception of her was reinforced by a pretty big age gap, even though it’s not really discussed much in the movie. Julia Roberts and Richard Gere have a 19-year age gap. She was like 22 to his 41 when this movie was made. To be clear, I don’t give a shit about age gaps (I actually love age gap romances when done well, noona romances are my absolute WEAKNESS) and I’m not saying it makes their relationship unhealthy or anything. It’s just something that helps drive home to both them and the audience that Vivian is the young girl who needs a second chance, and Edward is the older man who can help her. He treats her well, but also he has a pretty condescending, paternalistic attitude toward her that exacerbates the power/class divide and infantilizes her a bit for the audience’s sake. Honestly he’s kind of a dick lol. It’s a miracle I like this movie as much as I do given how much I would hate him if I met him in real life. (Also the way he doesn’t CALL THE FUCKING COPS when his friend Stucky tries to force himself on Vivian??? What the actual fuck my guy)

Okay, now that I’ve rambled about all that, to answer the “what would I change” part of the question, I’d actually say Fake Love and Hennessy is pretty much my answer tbh, in the broadest strokes at least. When I first started outlining and writing, I knew what didn’t work for me in the original Pretty Woman and I had a decent grasp of sex work advocacy, so it was just a matter of figuring out what felt true to Porsche’s character and sort of reverse engineering the plot of Pretty Woman to fit that as much as I could. Which was actually ridiculously easy, not because I was some kind of genius lol, but just because Pretty Woman and Kinnporsche have a surprising amount of plot points and narrative elements in common. The outline basically fell in my lap, I’m not even joking.

Intentional choices I made re: representing sex work and character arcs:

Porsche has self-worth issues, just like Vivian, but they’re explicitly tied up in his role as caregiver for his brother and the class/power divide between him and Kinn. He doesn’t feel good enough for either of them, but that’s not why he got into sex work. It’s just a thing that happened, a choice he made, and he’s not ashamed about it, even if he feels the friction of deviating from social norms. It helps that Kinn is a deviant too (sociologically speaking, not talking about morals just that they’re both breaking society’s rules in different ways) so it would be pretty hypocritical for him to look down his nose at sex work, a major part of the underground economy in his world. (In fact, pretty much everyone in Kinn’s network is sex work positive and Porsche being a sex worker is by itself a total non-issue. If you’re afraid someone is gonna slutshame him or demean sex work at some point in the fic, don’t be. I’m not writing it, point blank. Not even the villains get to pull that shit on my watch.)

I’m playing around a bit with the wiggly consent moments from the movie. Kinn isn’t as pushy as Edward is, which is because a) he’s not as steeped in Western patriarchal influence and b) he just plain digs consent. He doesn’t repeatedly try to kiss Porsche after Porsche shows visible discomfort (like Edward did in the piano scene) and even after a couple of days when it’s obvious Porsche would be pretty down for kissing, he doesn’t make a move because Porsche already set his boundaries.

The D/s stuff honestly just sort of happened lol, I didn’t mean to make it such a big part of their relationship, but when I realized it was going there I went back to my outline to puzzle it out. It was really important to me that Porsche’s submissiveness wasn’t somehow conflated with powerlessness, considering the class divide between him and Kinn. I wanted it to be about him feeling empowered to own his pleasure and desire in a way he’d never let himself before, NOT about him lacking agency in his body as a sex worker. Porsche as a character is just so wrapped up in taking care of everyone around him that he’s not very self-aware in a lot of ways, so Kinn’s style of domming—extremely attentive, confidence-boosting, worshipful—throws him for a complete loop. So while the movie wasn’t very kinky, I thought Kinn and Porsche’s sexual power dynamic in the fic would be an added way to give Porsche agency as he starts exploring this new side of himself.

I’m still not trying to represent sex work “accurately” because that’s sort of impossible to do, and also it’s fiction, where a bit of idealization/rose-colored glasses treatment is pretty much a given. So I’m not saying this fic is even remotely realistic or true to the lived experiences of sex workers. That was never really my goal honestly. What I do want, and what I hope I’ve succeeded at, is to tell a story that respects sex workers across the board and doesn’t stigmatize, dehumanize, or otherwise contribute to their marginalization and oppression.

Okay, that’s a SUPER LONG response lol I get wordy very easily. There’s a lot of stuff in later chapters that departs from the movie, which I would’ve loved to talk about, but it’s all massive spoilers 😔

This made me realize how much I’d love to talk about all kinds of “behind the scenes” stuff about the fic when it’s done, because there’s all these little things (Easter eggs from the movie and show, role reversal moments, scene inspo, etc.) that I’ve had so much fun thinking about and working into the fic. Maybe I could do some sort of Q&A or something at the end if anyone’s interested, or just a list of fun facts/cutting room floor stuff.

But thank you for asking, Nemi, you gave me the perfect excuse to rant about the movie lol. 💖💖

[tryingmydarndest]

Thank You (Luka Couffaine x Reader)

Summary (Part 1/probably 3): The author goes on a bit of a tangent about how Y/N goes on a bit of a tangent about Viperion. Who may just have a little, big ol' crush on them?

Tags: -not enough actual relationship -fluff -but like, a weird sprinkling of angst that I didn't plan on right at the end???

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: Inspired by this fic by @seriously-sirius-black <3. Luka? OOC? Idk, probably, I don’t write fanfic. But I am actually kinda proud of how well Alya turned out. Writing this made me realize how much of a mom friend I apparently headcanon her as. I wrote this gender-and-as-everything-else-neutral as I can make it (lemme know if you see ways I can improve, tho idk how much more fanfic I'll even be writing). Also, I freakin' RAMBLE and overuse italics, but ya get what ya get and ya don't gotta fret. Ooh, important note for future parts (if i write them) - this is a kinda!au where the miraculous users keep their miraculous. also if I had a nickel for every time I get awkwardly specific about the placement of both of a character’s hands I’d have TWO nickels. Happy reading!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Part I - Paris's Cutiest Heroes

The look currently on Marinette’s face as she sputtered out a response was priceless, “Cat Noir? Cat Noir!? What makes you think I’d find Cat Noir attractive at all? And- and- HIM- the cutest superhero! Ridiculous!”

“Utterly ridiculous?”

“Nice one, Alya”

“Thank you so much, Y/N,” you gave Alya a high five on your way to your seat next to Juleka and Rose on the couch facing Marinette and Alya. A sunny Friday after school was the perfect place for Kitty Section and their entourage to hang out. Unfortunately without Ivan and Mylène, seeing as their anniversary called for a private celebration. After pushing a couple couches onto the deck of The Liberty, Alya had predictably started talking about Paris's resident hero team. Today, she chose to ask everyone who they deemed the cutest, and she made sure to jump on Marinette's... interesting response, “And girl, he has the same silky golden hair and dreamy emerald eyes as Adrien Agreste. What’s utterly ridiculous is you freaking out and dodging every time we bring up superheroes!”

The designated snack-boy, Luka, walked out precariously carrying three bowls of goodies for everyone, “Alright, I got more popcorn. Sorry, but looks like we’re out of cheese flavoring, Y/N”

“Oh... that’s fine. I honestly wasn’t expecting it since I forgot to ask,” your free hand not reaching for the bowl rubbed the back of your neck, “but thanks for remembering.”

“Oh, um yeah- Always," is it creepy to remember something so specific? Someone as nice as Y/N wouldn't be interested in some creep. Ugh. Luka took a seat with his own bowl after passing Alya and Marinette theirs. He ended up next to you on the floor, leaning against the arm of the couch, dangerously close to touching your legs.

Rose reached for the popcorn as she interjected, “You know, Alya does have a point. So Marinette, why don’t you just tell us who you think the cutest superhero is, if you don’t like us guessing?”

Somehow Marinette’s face went even paler as she spoke, “What- I mean, I don’t- I haven’t thought- Wha- what about Y/N? Why aren’t you interrogating them?”

Alya crossed her arms, “Because Y/N says the same thing about the same hero every day. Just watch. Ahem, Y/N, care to weigh in on the cuteness level of our lovely Parisian superheroes?”

You looked up from the bowl you had stolen back from Rose with wide eyes, "Hey! Okay, no, that is not fair! Besides, what is our criteria for 'cute'? I mean... Are we going just by physical characteristics? Is costume a factor? What about the animal they're representing, could our opinion of that make this whole thing unfair? And cuteness is so subjective anyway... Why are we even reducing these amazing and honorable superheroes to just their looks? I mean we could be talking about skill, or their powers or power lev-"

"-And your answer would be exactly the same. Seriously, are you done trying- and might I add, failing- to talk yourself out of this one yet? Or should I just read the article you wrote for the Ladyblog?"

"You said you deleted that!"

Luka had perked his head up at your initial fumbling response and turned to you when he spoke, "You wrote an article? That's pretty cool."

You rubbed your face to try and distract yourself from the burning embarrassment, "Umm, yeah. But it was terrible and extremely not. worth. publishing." You hoped the glare you sent the girl in question was enough to scare her into deleting it on the spot, or to at least lie about it, "So Alya kindly deleted it, right?"

Sitting up with a smug look and crossed arms severely lowered your faith that she'd keep quiet. "A good journalist archives everything. Especially something as juicy as one of her besties going on for five thousand words about how dreamy the great Viperion is," dramatically fake-fainting into Marinette's lap, Alya could barely finish before bursting out in laughter. Of course, quickly followed by the others joining in to varying degrees. Juleka and Rose happily giggled to themselves, Marinette looked more relieved that the heat was off her, and Luka seemed to be shocked, or maybe just holding back to see how you were taking this.

Horribly. Horribly embarrassed would describe how you were taking this conversation. You sat there stock-still as you hoped that none of the others could hear your heart's desperate attempts to pound its way out of your chest. That's certainly all you could hear, at least until Alya's voice brought you out of it, "Hey, it's fine," she made her way over to sit next to you as she continued, "We all have our little hero crushes. That's why I bring it up all the time, to show you that it's totally normal! I mean, we all know how I could go on about Carapace for days," Alya gestured for the others to continue, and used her other hand to try and comfort you.

"Well, I find Ladybug to be just absolutely adorable and so kind.... oh it just makes me so happy knowing she's keeping all of Paris safe," Rose added softly.

Juleka brushed a strand of hair aside as she spoke, "Rena Rouge is super mysterious, pretty rad in my opinion."

Alya was rubbing your back like the mom friend she is to try and help encourage you, "See? Super normal, so go ahead and release all this pent up Viperion energy that I know you have. Maybe it'll encourage Marinette here to finally join in the fun!" Alya stuck her tongue out at her best friend, who responded promptly by smashing her face into a pillow.

You just sighed, "I mean- it’s- it can't just-'' were you supposed to just get over it all just like that? Well, at least the embarrassment was wearing off, maybe you could just entertain her for a bit, "Well- um, you see.... HisHairJustLooksReallySoftAnd- you know what. Nope. Can't do anymore of this. Yep- that's all you're getting out of me!" This time when everyone started giggling, you were able to comfortably join them. It was a nice feeling.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A nice evening chilling out with your friends was always welcome, especially with the rising number of akumatizations making that less possible. But the night had come to a close. Alya and Marinette went home, Juleka was walking Rose back herself, and Luka and you had volunteered to clean up. Luka stopped drying the cup in his hand for a minute as he looked at you, “Um, I know it might not be my place, but I want you to know that you don’t have to be embarrassed about the whole... Viperion thing.” God, how am I supposed to take the news that MY crush has a crush on.... Sort of me? Am I supposed to count it as me at all?

“Oh, um. Yeah, thanks. I think I’m over the embarrassment now that it’s out. I don’t know, it’s just that a lot of people think it’s weird since he’s kind of a new hero,” how are you supposed to explain this to him? That you kept such a non-issue secret from him, especially without getting suspiciously defensive about it. “And then people use that to try and say that I only like him for his looks..... And that’s not it! I don’t know, it’s kind of.... A lot? To explain, that is.” This was not going well.

“Oh... Well, what is it? That you like about him, I guess.”

This was so not going well. But he was waiting for a response so... “Uh, well I guess it did kinda start..... that way.... but then I started doing research. I learned about his power and saw videos of his fights. He’s really good! Especially for being so new, which kinda goes into why his power makes me like him so much.” Shit. Rambling, I’m just talking and talking and I need to stop. But how am I supposed to change the subject now? And now Luka’s sitting down, and he seems so invested. Why does this have to happen to me?

“What do you mean by that?”

Luka’s voice kindly shuts your little thought-spiral in its tracks. What were you saying? Oh, Viperion’s powers! You can talk about this, you know this. Just keep talking, at least he seems interested in it, “Well, you know how he can go back and redo the last couple of minutes?” Luka nodded, “Well, we always see the time that worked out. Us civilians get to keep going from the one time it all went right. Just imagine all the times he failed, all the times he couldn’t get it right. It could be dozens, maybe even hundreds of times! He must get so discouraged at some point, I mean I know I would.... I guess I didn’t really think about it at first, but.... but, I doubt I could keep that determination, and I’m so glad Paris has a hero who can, and does.”

Silence. Why was it so quiet? Oh no, he thinks I’m weird. He must think-

“All of this from ‘his hair looks soft’?”

“Hey! You can’t tell me not to be embarrassed, then make fun of me! That’s against the rules!”

Luka chuckled as he said, “Against what rules, exactly?”

“The Rules Of Best Friendship, duh!”

“And who exactly said you were my best friend?”

“Well... your loss, I guess. Now you won’t get an invitation when I plan Rose and Juleka’s wedding,” you brushed off his offended glare as you took the seat next to him.

“She’s my sister.”

“She’d take my side.”

I’d take your side, too. I will always take your side. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

A/N the sequel: I am super bad at finishing things, but I really wanna keep motivated to finish this (like I have a full, probably 3 part, plan for this). If you guys want to help, shoot me a message and I'll send you a link to the google doc I'm writing this on. Feel free to leave a little comment (pls be kind, obviously) and see my writing process! Idk, would any of you guys be interested in that? Would you just get annoyed at having already read the thing before I post it?

[lvlyhao]

『127′s ideal type』

headcanons, NCT 127

A/N: je suis back~ in these headcanons i talk about the type of person i imagine each member with, along with some of the traits i think they wouldn’t be too fond of. i did NOT include physical traits (ex: “would like a short/tall/blonde s/o”) because i really don’t know them??? lmao also that kind of thing could be a bit damaging to someone’s self esteem, and i want yall to know ur perfect & beautiful so

mark and hyuck will be included in dream’s version of this, and sicheng will be in wayv’s :)

today’s gif theme is just random gifs i like bc idc, there’s no aesthetic

as always, this is gender-neutral

IF YOU LIKE MY WORK PLEASE REBLOG IT AS WELL AS LIKING IT T^T

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: fluff (♡) and if you squint really hard angst (❆) bc of some REALLY small things that for me are not actual angst but oh well

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: i think none?? if you read this and find something you think should be here let me know please!!!

word count: 1.5K

pairing: nct 127 members x reader (includes taeil, taeyong, johnny, yuta, doyoung, jaehyun, jungwoo)

disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © cherry-hyejin 2021.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

Taeil

I see Taeil getting with someone who’s not only mature (personality-wise, actual age doesn’t matter) but also very determined and decisive. He’d like a person that doesn’t change their mind about things too often, learns well from their mistakes and is just all-around balanced. Other traits that I think he’d look for: politeness, a MUST; grounded; good at giving advice. Pretty much a twin-flame of his.

I think he’d find it cute if they think in a detail-oriented way and appreciate the small things in life. A positive, grateful mentality would be SO attractive to him, I swear. 

One of his deal breakers would most likely be excessive jealousy and possessiveness. He trusts you and your love for him, and I think he’d feel distraught if you were constantly questioning the relationships he has with other people (friends, co-workers, fans, etc.)

Last important thing: needs a person that can take a hit. He’s probably looking for someone he can spend the rest of his days with, so a quitter just isn’t good for that. There will be difficult moments in the future and he needs to know they won’t give up on him and on the life he chose.

Taeyong

I think Taeyong would like a calm person that knows how to take control of the relationship. He probably feels tired sometimes from leading a group of 23 people, so I can imagine he’d be thrilled if he was able to not worry at all when he’s around his partner. He trusts they’re capable of dealing with any problems that may arise and keep their feet on the ground. Bonus points if they have a good relationship with themselves.

By that I mean: you know how people say you can’t truly love others until you love yourself? Yeah, that. He’s a person like any other, and there are times when he struggles with self-love, but he needs someone that doesn’t hate themselves, or he’ll simply go crazy. With his career come so many rumours and moments that tear at his confidence… he just doesn’t need a person that has to be convinced every single day that they’re worthy of the good things in life. 

I’d say, in general, all he asks for is someone that can watch out for themselves. He’d take care of them too, but he’d like it SO much if just for once in his life he’s the one being cared for. Would just melt on the spot if you have that caring, almost parental instinct in you. Gods, yes. That’s all I can say.

Johnny

I can see him being with a very bright, smart person. He’d like someone that comes from a different background so he could learn more about their life—whether that means the country they were born in or their field of work. I think he would appreciate a very laid back person that doesn’t get stressed too often and won’t make fun of him for his bad jokes. Also, doesn’t like people that try to play him. Honesty above all.

He’d like it if they are super curious and creative, too. Picking up new hobbies and interests is something he’d be up to anytime, and it doesn’t matter what it is either. He’d give anything a try—from knitting to marine biology, no questions asked.

Something he’d dislike is if the person is too materialistic. It’s not like he’s a completely spiritual being and lives with 0 detachments to objects but he’s a firm believer in what Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said: what is essential is invisible to the eye. And, you know, what you truly find essential is up to you; it can mean family, friends, love, hope, all of that… he just wants you to love life itself as much as he does.

Yuta

He’d probably like one of the two drastic variants: a very gentle, sweet person or someone who’s on his level of flirtatiousness and boldness. Wouldn’t mind any, but he needs a strong personality, either way, you know? No blandness here. 

Something very attractive to him is being involved in social issues and caring for the world around you. Very sexc, yes, and also likes people that make others smile.

Something that would make him quite literally give up on someone is the excessive fear of change, or just the will to remain in their comfort zone at all costs. He earns for a person that wants to live life to its fullest. If not they’re not ride-or-die to that level, then he hopes they at least accompany and support him in all of the things he wants to do. 

One thing that is very tied to that is his dislike for know-it-alls. He lives in such a diverse scenario that it’s just dumb for him to think someone would ever be capable of knowing every piece of information on everything that’s out there. He’s fine with people making mistakes, but if they can’t admit to that or admit they don’t know something he just gets pissed off. So, yeah, he’d avoid stuck-ups.

Doyoung

He’d like someone very loyal and fair, who treats people with respect but calls them out if they ever have to. I think he’d prefer a person that is naturally a deep thinker and wouldn’t lose their mind over small disagreements. 

Much like Johnny, he likes that intellectual side of yours, and when I say that I don’t mean like “ah, he’d want to date a math genius” or something. No, no. I’m referring to all types of intellectuality and intelligence. The thing for him is simply using your brain and being proud of it. He would just dislike a person that kind of lives life on autopilot, you know?

He’d like it if they’re interested or professionally involved with music somehow and would consider their opinions in his career. He wouldn’t mind if their taste is hugely different from his, though. It’s alright if pop music is not your favourite or if you have no idea who EXO is (lol). All he wants is to see the world through your eyes too, in all aspects of life including this one.

Will also love you forever if you side with him when he’s being teased by the others, because, c’mon, it’s always 22 people against poor, defenceless Doyoung. Please don’t join them, he’s begging you—

Jaehyun

This is very, very clear to me but he needs to be with an independent person. He’s quite sentimental and he has his more romantic moments, sure, but he wants someone that can give him the space he needs when he needs it. A person that’s constantly begging him for attention would be way more of a burden than anything else.

Also, he’s 100% alright with someone that has a very explicit and loud love language (like saying “I love you” 300 times a day) but he’s not like that, and he needs them to see that. Jaehyun could NOT be with a person that doesn’t appreciate the love he shows in the little things, like making coffee in the morning, and if they ever question the way he feels… yeah, not good. He’d feel misunderstood and that’s a big no-no.

He’d find it cute if they’re bubbly or just very youthful but is also capable of falling for an old soul that shares his interests in things like classical music and vinyls. I don’t think he’d ever get with someone that's kind of a tech addict, though, idk why but that’s quite clear to me. Always being on your phone or caring too much about social media would probably make him feel like you’re not grateful for the things you have around you, in real life. So, yeah, not attractive, bestie.

Jungwoo

Jungwoo is a very, very, very sweet person and he needs someone who’s also like that. He wouldn’t care if that’s there for everyone to see, in the sense that they’re not shy about it, or if it’s a part of them that only a couple of close people know. As long as it’s there, he’s happy.

Aside from that, I think he’s fully capable of falling in love with quite literally anyone. He can see the beauty in all types of people, from all places, backgrounds, races, and just—anyone. He’s just so full of love for people, ah I can’t even. He’s too good for this world.

Some things that could, however, push him away from getting to know someone: a negative way of thinking, being too traditionalistic, and too much scepticism. He’s fine with people that like to honour the past and their roots but like, you’ve gotta keep up with the world you live in and accept that things change. I think that’s very tied to how much he likes defying masculine standards, too. 

The scepticism thing is quite simple: he can handle teasing just fine but if they’re constantly making fun of him for wearing his heart on his sleeve or being a bit goofy, he’d feel kind of betrayed.

---

final notes: this is the 3rd nct work i’m posting here and i’m already writing more, so i think it’s time i set up a masterlist, a fic rec blog and a tag list. if you want to be tagged in my future fics, let me know (dm, comments, anything) :)

[binniesthighs]

i loveeee your first write abt Jisung omgggg he is like one of my BIGGEST bias wrecker of all time so i was like WOAH THERE,,,, and i was so hooked on your writings i wanna see more 👀 if you have free time can i please ask for a Jeonghan smut where he is your rival in everything let's say at school and u didn't actually like him at first but he kinda flirts and idk I'm just so into Jeonghan's cocky behavior these daysss he's making me feel thiiiiiiingsssss 😩❤️

ahh thank you anon you are so so sweet! ♡ I’m so happy that you liked my Jisung stuff! I love writing for that boy hehe and thank you so much for requesting love!! this is my first seventeen ask I’m so so excited to write more of them in the future! my brain really took this one and rannnn with it, it ended up a bit harder than I intended, I hope that’s okay and I hope that you enjoy it!

what i want most |reader x jeonghan |

Pairing: self insert, gender neutral reader x yoon jeonghan

Genre: lil bit of smut, lil bit of angst

Tags: harddom!jeonghan, bratty!reader, enemies (competitors) to lovers, college au, jeonghan being our fave cocky boy, bestfriend!seungcheol, mentions of school work, slow-ish burn, masturbation (reader), use of degrading names, dumification, hook-up, choking, marking, spanking, facefucking, gagging, use of safe symbols, nipple play, overstimulation, unprotected sex, creampie, slight exhibitionism, semi-public sex, sex in a study room

Word count: 4k

Someone told you once long ago that hate is a strong word. Apparently, they had never experienced loathing before. To you, hate always seemed to be something playful, something a little teasing. When your best friends would mock you for the most insignificant things, you would say “cut that shit out. You know that I hate you right?”

Loathing is much more fun. Loathing holds more of an edge. Loathing keeps you up at night, and lingers in your mind. Loathing digs into your skin like a papercut, coming back to sting later when you stretch your skin. Loathing made you feel all twisted up inside. This one super-massive emotion is one that clings to you and makes you jealous and irritable, and the best of all, competitive.

You don’t know what you would be without loathing...if not for him.

But as much as you loathed him, he was the perfect elixir of sugar-coated poison.  

He kept you up at night. He lingered in your mind.

Everything about you, he had to do too. You didn’t know at this point if it was some kind of joke, or that the two of you had miraculously been crafted to be just that similar.

Since the day that you had met him three years ago in undergrad, there wasn’t one class that the two of you didn’t share. Every single job that you applied to, he would apply to as well. Each professor that you would introduce yourself to, the next day he would be cozied up next to them talking about some kind of bullshit and pretended to care about their personal lives. He even chose the exact same grad program as you.

When the two of you graduated, it was him who sucked in his lip, never breaking with your eyes when he received higher honors than you. He probably loathed you too.

That would keep you up at night too.

There were other things about him as well that would creep into the corners of your sleep deprived brain. You would stare into the darkness of your room, eyes glued to the ceiling with your mind exploring shameless answers.

During these dark nights, your hand would absentmindedly cascade down your body, snaking your fingers down the soft of your skin. Behind your eyes, it was him sending shivers down your body. It was his lithe fingers, not yours, that would reach down to your aching sex to pleasure you into all the fantasies that only remained within the confines of your own mind. Before you would climax, it was his name that you whispered out into the air, not even knowing that you did.

“Jeonghan.”

•·················•·················•

“Are you going to finish that, or what?”

Seungcheol rummaged around your bag of chips that were barely touched.

Your highlighter skimmed over your page, you twisted the writing utensils around in your hand to scratch down a note with your pen. Truthfully, you hadn’t heard him.

“...I mean, if you don’t, I will. Can’t let stuff like this go to waste.” He held the bag in his lap, happily crunching away and tapping his foot a little.

“--Can you chew quieter?”

“...Me?”

“Yes, you.” You bopped him softly on top of his wavy caramel hair with your marked up article.

Seungcheol cringed and rubbed the top of his head as if you had hit him with something much denser than a stack of paper.

“In my defense, there isn’t really a quiet way to eat chips.” He popped another one in. “Are you gonna be done soon? It’s too...still out here.”

“You’re the one that suggested coming here!”

His puppy-like face turned combative. “I did!...only because I think it’s pretty though.” Your friend shied away, trying to uphold his promise of “chewing quieter,” and subsequently failing.

He wasn’t wrong however, the courtyard in the middle of the library was very pretty, and you had been glad that he had suggested the two of you take lunch there. Inside the square shaped yard, a few trees had been planted with low swaying branches of little oval shaped leaves. There were hedges and a myriad of flowering plants with petals that were pink or yellow or purple. Somehow the little square was untouched by sound, save for a couple songbirds. Had you not a copious amount of work to take care of, you would have admired it all for hours.

“--And to answer your question, no, I will not be done soon. Sorry. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

Seungcheol cooly threw one of his arms over the silver outdoor chair next to him, shaking you off. “I don’t mind. I don’t have anything else that I really wanna be doing right now.”

“--Your thesis maybe?” You crashed your knee into his under the table and threw him a teasing smirk.

“I said, anything that I want to do.”

You nabbed one of your chips back. “Suit yourself then.”

The door to the courtyard clicked, followed by the creak of the old library door. Such a metallic sound stole the tranquility of the whole space.

“Y/n.”

Jeonghan came floating behind you, dressed in his usual attire: some type of glamorous pairing of dress pants and a button down as well as shoes that looked as if they had just been shined. He wore some kind of cologne that draped after him with a dizzying type of efflorescence. Everything about him was meticulously planned, down to the few purposefully unkempt strands of chocolate brown hair on his forehead.

He craned his neck a little to see your messy scribbles.

“You’re reading Nebasifu?”

Jeonghan leaned over you, tracing a finger over the neon orange highlights you had made. He shocked you with how close he had let himself get to you, practically encapsulating you in his arms. You found yourself staring into his neck, that floral scent forcibly permeating your air.

“Hmm.”

He hummed as he read over your notes. “Interesting conclusions right? The fact that in governance we create more problems when trying to solves the ones we have already made? It’s all so circular isn’t it?”

Your sweating palm crunched the paper out from under his fingertips.

“--Really interesting. I’d like to finish it...if you please.” While your words were polite, but they still bit.

“I can recommend more similar readings if you’re interested?”

“I’m fine. Thanks for the offer.”

“If it doesn’t make sense, you can always reach out, we can talk it through...I’ve found that discussing--”

“--I said that I’m fine. Nice talking to you Jeonghan.” You cast your eyes down to your paper and attempt to slow your viciously beating chest.

fucking leave. You pleaded, knuckles turning white around your pen.

“Alright then. See you later.” He straightened his glasses upon his nose bridge. “I look forward to hearing what you have to say about the topics later.”

He swept his hand lightly across your back. It was the most fleeting of gestures, but your entire body froze from it.  

Jeonghan situated himself at one of the benches and drew out a book. He sat in the direct beams of the afternoon sun. The brown wisps of hair that hit the light looked nearly golden. You loathed that he was breathtaking without even really trying.

Seungcheol grinded his teeth, muttering out, “Fucking creep. He can’t talk to you like that.” Even quieter, “I’ll take him out for you if you want me to.”

You stifled a laugh. You couldn’t help your eyes which would flutter over to him like it was forbidden.

“No, don’t do that. But thank you ‘Cheol.”

“I’ll do it! I swear...”

•·················•·················•

Jeonghan had a terrible habit. Not like it was particularly distracting, it was just something that you had taken notice of. From where you would sit nearly across the room from him, he would remove his glasses, then rest one of the temple tips between his lips. Sometimes, the click of his teeth would meet the plastic. It was a simple action, but the way that the little curve would rest on the pink of his lips made your mind wonder...the poison that would leave those same lips couldn’t have been real; not when they looked so sweet.

“--anyone want to share what they got out of the readings and case studies? What can we learn about our interference and the sovereignty of other states?”

You were only partially paying attention when Jeonghan silently rose his hand.

“I think that Y/n had a particularly interesting oponion on this. We were discussing this previously.” He curved his body around to meet your eyes which had already been inspecting him.

With an expectant crossing of his arms, your professor approached your desk. “Y/n?”

Everyone’s eyes were on you, but Jeonghan’s burned with the hottest flame.

You took your shaking hands into your lap, then gave your oponion as eloquently as you could, swallowing down your nerves. As usual, you were perfectly well spoken, as you knew you were. The professor nodded along with each point of your argument.

“--Very well articulated Y/n. And your counterpoints are provoking as well.” He finally turned to pace away. “Would anyone like to expand?”

Your professor’s body mass moved, revealing Jeonghan’s nearly sinful prideful smile. It was like he had given you a test, and you had passed magnificently. With the cock of his head, he mouthed,

“that was lovely.”

“I’d like to expand.” He piped, removing his glasses. Just as he always would, he tapped them between his lips, letting the skin fall a little by them. You had noticed it before, but they were smooth and plump. “I think that Y/n is correct...in many ways, but some points are a bit misguided, I would argue....”

•·················•·················•

[09:23 pm]

cheol: you coming back anytime soon?  i can’t believe you’re doing this to me on a friday. is it really that serious?

[09:26 pm]

me: need I remind you that you should probably be here with me? thesis papers don’t write themselves.

cheol: and I should remind YOU that we literally just got off break? they aren’t due for months.

i know what you’re trying to prove.

it’s not worth it.

what does that asshole have over you?

“--Shouldn’t you be back at home with that golden retriever of yours?”

Jeonghan’s pen tapped at your table, white sleeves rolled up. The day had taken it’s toll on him. The bags under his eyes proved that even someone as picturesque as him could still be effected by your long days. Nevertheless disheveled, he was just as alluring.

“And shouldn’t you be flirting with one of your students?” You clicked your phone off.

“Cute. Luckily I’m not one of the desperate ones starving for the attention of the little undergrads. That's a different kind of pathetic.”

“Hmmm. I just thought that it was the attention that you were after.” Heat rose to your ears while you breathed your beating heart down.

"Who doesn’t like attention? Especially if it’s from the right people...speaking of undergrads...”

Jeonghan’s slender neck twisted to eye the obnoxious group of students huddled up on a table, giggling and making a mess of their snacks.

“You’re studying out here? I can’t even--”

“--I appreciate the concern, but you’re not helping my focus either.”

“Am I...distracting you?” Jeonghan swept his warm brown hair to the side with the cock of his eyebrow.

You shook out a sigh. “Yes.”

“You don’t have an office?”

“Department didn’t have any more.”

“I’ve got a study room that I host study sessions in. You want to use it?”

“You’re offering to help me?”

“Listen, I know how hard our program can be, and I appreciate how hard you work. You deserve a quiet place to work.”

“Are you complimenting me?”

“Don’t make me change my mind...and what would I do if the competition suddenly dropped out?” He tapped the table with his fingertips. “That wouldn’t be very much fun.”

•·················•·················•

Jeonghan’s study room was simple, just like all the others in the library. It was stark, white, the tables were a bit banged up and the white board was riddled with little ink remnants. There were glass windows nearly everywhere so you could overlook both the outdoors and the rest of the library on the opposite wall. As the two of you entered, he calmly closed all the blinds.

“No distractions right?” He looked back to you.

“...do you have something that you need to get done too?”

“Not really. I’ve submitted a good chunk of my thesis for review.”

Of course he had.

“I’m just waiting to hear back.”

He crossed the room to sit directly next to you, slinging his legs up on the table and taking out that same book from earlier: it had some pretentious title that you had never heard of before.

“Don’t mind me.” He chided your straying eyes. “I’m only staying to lock the door after you.”

“I-I’m not...” Your eyes feel back to your computer and you typed at your keyboard just to fill the sound of the quiet room.

Sitting this close to you, you could smell that dizzyingly sweet smell of his again.

You loathed him for the way that he could be doing nothing and you could be enthralled in merely that.

Jeonghan’s eyes didn’t leave his page. “The more that you look at me, the less you’re working.”

You hadn’t even noticed.

“I guess I’m more distracting than I thought.”

Furious heat rose from the pit of your stomach to the tips of your ears.

“What the hell do you get off on?” You spat.

He calmly placed his book on the table. “What are you referring to?”

“For the past three years, you haven’t left me alone for a single second, you-you always do everything that I do like you’re on some kind of sick quest to prove that you’re better than me, better than anyone else--”

“--You think that I’m copying you?”

“Wha-what else would you be doing?”

“--Getting an education? God, you think that I’m the attention whore, aren’t you hearing yourself?? You must think that I’m obsessed with you.”

“What is it then? A superiority complex so fucking huge--”

“--You’re asking what it is that I want?”

You nodded back with heaving breaths.

“What I get off on? Well...” Jeonghan chuckled a little and raked his hands through his brown strands. “You don’t deserve to know. But there is one thing that I’ve wanted for a while that I haven’t been able to get my hands on. I suppose that’s what I want most.”

“And that is?”

Tentatively, he rose his hand nearer to you, saying nothing, his aura shifting from cocky to intrigued. At first, his fingers traced over the skin of your hand as if he was drawing little pictures into it. After he brushed his hand up your arm to weave a little strand of your hair around his fingers.

“I said you don’t deserve to know.”

You must have been in a daze; some kind of waking intoxication before your thoughts could catch up with your actions. It was almost as if you weren’t thinking anything at all, but where acting on prime instinct. Your whole body screamed with utter frustration: every word that he spoke to you make you loathe him even more, you wouldn’t ever let him get away with it.

There was something that you too wanted most, no matter how abhorrent it was.

Your thighs squeezed into his sides where you had straddled him in his chair, holding on to him so tightly it hurt your muscles. The haste on your lips on his was messy and hot, a smearing of skin and teeth crashing together with fury, tongues rolling off eachother with an undeniable hunger. His arms didn’t wrap around you but rather clawed in your hair, pulling slightly at the roots while he pulled you in impossibly close. The mixing of your gasping breaths together where whiny and yearning. As he kissed into you, his lips curled into a devilish smile.

In your arousal, you shoved your hips into his lap, grinding down into your excitement and seeking some from him. To your surprise, you could feel his hardening dick which only made you weaker. All the hundreds of little fantasies that you had held so secret started to dance in your mind; your darkest thoughts pleaded for him to destroy you, to ravage you, just as you had imagined.

Jeonghan’s lips tore from your own which he had worked until they were swollen. He mouthed down your jaw to your neck, sucking at the skin with no chance of mercy, he pulled and sucked until you could only pathetically beg for him to slow down for fear of him breaking the skin.

He stopped immediately to pull your shirt over your head and pick up his work there. The wet of his gorgeously plump lips on your skin was as perfect as you had imagined and it sent shivers echoing through all your limbs.

“Jeong-Jeonghan--”

This time you perfectly aware that it was indeed his name that would escaping off your tongue.

“You dumb slut, you thought I didn’t know that you wanted me?”

“You-you want me too?”

Jeonghan worked at the buttons on your pants.

“Wanting implies that I like you. What I want most is to make you my toy. There’s a difference.”

You mumbled out the words knowing exactly how he would take them. “I’m not a fucking toy.”

Jeonghan tsked and unbuttoned his own shirt. “You don’t get to decide that.”

You drew your fingers down his model-like toned chest, marveling in the pink lines. Jeonghan grunted in response, taking you by the underside of your thighs to throw you down on your back against the hard plastic. Once he had the chance, he ridded you of your bottoms, running his hands up your inner legs to send you reeling. For a couple seconds, you could have sworn that he had stopped to admire your body, but he wouldn’t let you tell too easily.

“That door isn’t locked.”

“What? Are you scared that someone could walk in? Scared to for someone to see you all splayed out like this?” He rose to kiss up your stomach and up to your nipples. He flicked them between his fingers. “To have someone see me making a wreck of you?”

“N-no.”

With saliva drying on your sensitive buds, they turned hard in seconds when they met the air. Jeonghan wasn’t hesitant to pull at them with his teeth slightly, making you whine for him even more.

“What should I do to you first?”

One of his hands trickled down your body to palm at your quivering sex, slick with your excitement for him and aching for the smallest of touches.

“You want it that bad? Stupid whore.”

Your hand ventured down to tease at his own dick over the fabric of his slacks.

“You want it that bad?”

“Get off.” He growled at you, then took you by the arms to jerk you off of the table and onto your knees at the floor. Under your knees, the burn of the carpet stung. His belt buckle jingled a little as he hooked a finger in to remove it. Afterword, he shook his pants off followed by his briefs, springing loose his twitching member with the tip pink. He combed his fingers through your hair while he tapped his dick against your lips.

“Fucking take it.”

You would have fought him on it, but you succumbed out of your pure curiosity over his girth.

At first, you coaxed him into your mouth, not going in too deep as you were fearful about his length. Regardless, you took him in as best as you could, hollowing out your cheeks and throat, sucking with your lips and grabbing at his legs.

Jeonghan hissed out a sigh, letting himself fall further into the warmth of your mouth. He pushed at your head slightly, bringing you in just deep enough to trigger your gag reflex.

“Mmm there you go.” He cooed.

You kept going as he liked it, gradually working up in pace while it got a bit harder and harder for you to catch your breath.

“That’s as deep as you can go? Can’t even take a dick into your throat?”

His grip on your head tightened.

Jeonghan whispered, “Squeeze my leg if you want me to stop.” before helping your head all the way down, causing you to gag even harder and for tears to well in your eyes. “That’s more like it.”

He continued guiding your head, and slobber started to form around your mouth You felt so weak and pliable around him, he was thankless aside from the tiny moans he would let escape past his lips for you.

Usable as you felt, it was still a deliciously addictive feeling.  

All at once, he tore out of your mouth to bring you back up to your feet. In seconds he had turned you around to bend over the plastic tabletop, elbows digging into the cool surface. By now, you were practically dripping for him with knees and legs weak from kneeling. He kicked your legs open farther, gifting your ass a piercing slap that stung, then another followed after.

“Hungry for my cock, hmm?”

He teased your entrance without warning, sending your body crumbling over the table into a mess of whimpers and curses clenched behind your teeth. His lithe fingers were your fantasy come to life.

“I-I can’t wait any longer...” You urged him on.

Jeonghan pushed your face into the table then slid his fingers above to curl around your neck. He encircled around the skin slowly, then dug in to close your airway. You choked out desperate little sounds, then he entered you carefully, making sure that you felt every part of him.

“Hmm. Pretty...” He allowed you. Even though it was just one word of praise, you reveled in it.

His pale fingers choked you harder for a few more seconds until he properly got his pace inside of you, letting go to hold you by your waist. Once again, he clapped his hand into your skin as he fucked into you. All you could manage to do with your hands was claw helplessly at the smooth tabletop seeking some kind of balance that was nowhere to be found. He grazed the deepest and most sensitive spot within you and you felt yourself nearly reaching your climax.

“I-is that all that you can do?” You turned his confidence back against him, spurring him on just as you had wanted. He snapped his hips even faster, groaning out as he neared his release.

“My pretty little fucktoy. You’re all mine? Got it?”

Jeonghan leaned over your back to pant the words into your ear.

“Fucking say it.”

“I-I’m...” Your focus was scrambled as your orgasm pooled within.

“I’m yours...your...pretty-mm-fucktoy.”

Jeonghan came inside of you with white heat, pulsating forcefully, with you following soon after while he milked himself with your walls. Even as you still came down, he rolled his hips into you over and over until your whole body was shaking helplessly.

“That’s right.” He pulled out, then pulled your legs apart to watch his cum fall out of your hole.

Jeonghan laughed to himself, “Thank you for giving me what I wanted.”

[theworldsforgottenboy]

Your blorbos are Will graham and Ben solo.

Wait a minute are all your blorbos sad men with luscious dark hair and trauma who commit violent acts??

He’s so (stims ecstatically and gestures violently) so squishy and wet like a drowned kitten, I want to commit cartoon violence, I want to drop an anvil on his head and watch him accordion bounce away, I stuff him in a pringles can and keep him on my shelf, just look at him

I enjoy his suffering nearly as much as Hannibal does

As for the… other one, sometimes I tell myself that I’m over Star Wars, that I’ve moved on and am not cringe anymore (and yes even if I do stand by nearly all my opinions from back, it was my flop era, because I hadn’t lost the common decency to be ashamed of my hyperfixation yet) then someone will bring him up and god fucking damnit I start missing that emo unstable bitch ass loser with a hot girlfriend and I need to sit down and listen to “the kids aren’t all right” by fall out boy until I calm down from the nostalgia trip. You never get over your first big ship, do you? Even if I had a miserable time in the fandom and I felt guilty about the sidelining of poc characters, I can’t help but think back fondly.

I’d say it used to be simple as that (gender envy was insane off the charts) but played ace attorney and got a nice German rockstar lawyer man whose bad thing was fully not his fault and who’s hair is really nice but blonde and I watched Buffy and picked up a bleach blonde abomination who’s hair looks terrible and painful to look at (Doubly so by the knowledge he chose to look like that) so now I’d say my blorbo type type is bitches with hot girlfriends (deep in our hearts we know Hannibal is the milfiest milf of all time) (also Apollo isn’t a girlfriend but idk he’s still cool)

[briandthemoon]

I got tagged by the wonderful @deodorant-stick !

Rules: answer 28 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

Name/Nickname: Bri

Gender: My gender is [modem dial-up noises]

Star sign: Cancer!

Height: 6′2″

Time: .....4:54am

Birthday: 21st July

Favorite band/groups: I’d normally say Fall Out Boy, but I’ve been reliving my late primary, early highschool love of Busted. Though I like a bunch of bands tbh.

Favorite solo artist: Marina, I just have the biggest spot in my heart for her

Song stuck in my head: Bad Girl Online - Oktavia Ver., I don’t even know why

Last movie: Kingsman: The Golden Circle, and yes I am STILL upset, fuckin’ killing off two of my faves how dare-

Last show: Puella Madoka Magica, my friend @softanxiouspatton is watching it for the first time and I’m rewatching it again too ehehe

When did I create this blog: I have no idea, I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast. I DID make my main back during the OG mischapocalypse tho. 

What do I post: Mostly Sanders Sides, but I do wanna do more art for other stuff I like, and i do have some art meme reqs for RWBY, ATLA, and even The Lumberjanes, so ye!!

The last thing I googled: "How long would it take to burn down an Olive Garden?” ..... I promise it’s for a fic, theres no Olive Gardens near me....

.....Anymore-

Other blogs: I have my main and my sanders side blog because if i reblogged every sanders sides thing to my main my followers would just be like “Bri pleASE-”

Do I get asks: Yeah!..... 36 of them. And still counting. For the art meme alone. ..... I never learn honestly.

When did I chose my URL: I had it in mind for a while, it was the first name in my mind when I decided to finally make my art blog.

Following: No idea

Followers: I just checked and .....1490, like dUDE HOW, WHY, HELLO-?! Looks like i need to get a 1.5K DTIYS ready holy hell.

Average hours of sleep: Sleep? Who’s she, never heard of her..... 

Lucky number: 21 or 7

Instruments: piano/keyboard, but I can only really play one handed. I sing but idk if that counts

What am I wearing: black t shirt and black leggings. 

Dream job: Honestly? I’m doing it, I’ll be real. I’ve only ever wanted to be an illustrator since I was a kid and that’s what I’m doing. I do wanna try making animatics and a webcomic someday though.

Dream trip: Hawaii and Japan, but I really wanna go to the US to see my friends. That and I really wanna see Iceland someday too, my friend Sandy from college always had great things to say about it and I would trust him with my credit card info so like, yeah.

Favorite food: my homemade pizza dumplings. <3

Nationality: Unyieldingly Scottish. 

Top 3 universes I’d like to live in: Steven Universe, Gravity Falls, and honestly? Treasure Planet

Alrighty! Tag time, let’s see! @noyin @softanxiouspatton @accidental-sanders @galactic-magick @ewatsonia @whataboutcare @shortnfantastic @iggyalfi2319 @iwispkid @broadwaytheanimatedseries @polaris-andrew @voltsm (that reminds me I need to get your DTIYS done soon, congrats) @spooky-scary-virgil  @iceandjunk and I can’t think of anyone else I see in my notifs a lot rn aaaAAA

[itsclydebitches]

Was planning on making this my own post, but I thought you would be more suited to discussing this sort of topic. Something I've noticed when it comes to the more prominent/important/strong female characters (Nora, Pyrrha, Penny, Robyn, Emerald, Sienna) is that RT often has the tendency of giving them masculine allusions (Thor, Achilles, Pinocchio, Robin Hood, Aladdin, Shere Khan) as if they are unable to stand on their own as characters unless they have that connection to a male character. 1/3

It is worth discussing! Yeah, I hesitate to call it a pattern just because, as you say, Team RWBY themselves are an exception to the rule  — and as the title characters of the story, they’re a pretty big exception. We also have good women allusions turned into good women characters (Glynda with The Good Witch, May with Maid Marian) and bad women allusions turned into good women characters (Winter with The Snow Queen — I don’t think she was ever meant to enter full antagonist territory, but that’s another post). So it’s not just a matter of saying, “RWBY models their strong women after male inspirations and turns all female inspirations into male characters.” It’s not that simple. But the fact that it’s not simple doesn’t mean there’s nothing there to unpack because I definitely understand the feeling you’re pointing to, anon. Team RWBY feels like it has the most thought put into it in terms of changing up these allusions, specifically when it comes to subversion: the little girl in a red hood who previously needed a hunter’s protection has become the hunter herself, Belle overcomes both her Gaston and the now evil Beast, Snow White extracts herself from her own abusive situation (with a little help from the Dwarves still), and Goldilocks is no longer lost and in need of basic necessities, but can rather punch her way out of any establishment  — like, say, a club. The execution of these themes aside (how Adam was handled, turning Jacques’ arrest into a joke, etc.), there’s a commonality here that works. Or at least, it works for me. Yet when we expand the allusions past our title team, things get... very messy. That’s when we start to hit on these concerns. 

I’d say the problem stems primarily from that lack of thought, not the act itself of turning women characters into men or vice versa. Meaning, as I’ve said in the past, RWBY’s use of allusions is terribly unreliable nowadays, and that’s not just in terms of plot expectations like, “Why did Penny have to become a flesh girl because Pinocchio, but Ironwood didn’t stay good because Tin Man?” It also includes these questions of why these changes were made and what sort of messages they send. As you lay out, why are so many of our heavy hitters  — the most talented huntress, the lightning-immune smasher, the Maiden android, etc.  — based on men? Why are many of the effeminate and “weaker” men  — Jaune the untrained, Ren the emotional councilor, Oscar the kid who wants to talk it all out  — based on women? Again, I don’t intend to sling any hard accusations, but rather to point out what’s likely a subtle, unconscious bias. To provide another example, I’ve seen talk recently about how RT (again, unconsciously) depicts the faunus, where all the good characters have culturally established “good” animal features and all the bad character have culturally established “bad” features. It’s cat ears, rabbit ears, sheep ears, monkey tails, dog tails, and beautifully changing skin color vs. scorpion tails, spiderwebs, bull horns, tiger ears, bat wings, and crocodile scales. Is it a perfect 1:1 divide? No, Ghira has panther claws and Fennec has fox ears, but there’s enough there for us to go, “RT tends to give the good guys cute features and/or features we associate with safe animals, whereas the bad guys tend to get ugly features and/or features we associate with dangerous animals.” I feel the same way here, that there’s a bit of a trend at play, with the caveat that there are more complications simply by virtue of these allusions being, well, complicated. But there’s enough there to make us stop and think, “What were RT’s intentions with this? If they just chose something based on the rule of cool, what might those inclinations tell us about gender norms in America?” Meaning, when someone goes, “Idk, we just thought it would be cool to change this up” there’s a lifetime of media consumption driving that choice. It’s not actually random, but based on whatever has been normalized  — unless you actively counteract that by thinking through what you want the change to do. 

Unconscious biases are always at work. When we analyze something like this it’s often not a matter of saying, “The author is [insert accusatory term here]” but rather just, “The author is falling into expectations, patterns, and normalized decisions based on the culture they’ve grown up in.” Which includes things like thinking, “Well, if this character is based on a male god, she must be crazy strong. If this character is based on a woman fighter, he’s probably more emotional.” Such biases may be driving a lot of decisions because, as said in the past, I really don’t think RT is putting much thought into these allusions, if any at this point. For me, Penny was proof of that  — the inability to see how following her allusion utterly destroyed her character growth  — but even if we don’t agree about Penny, what about Salem? Far from just using her name, this volume gave us a blatant reference to the events of Salem Trails in the 1690s. Namely, the burning of the witch. 

Except references like this can’t just look cool. This isn’t a video game Easter egg with no real connection to the story, it’s a cinematography/plot choice that carries meaning. So what is that meaning? Well, the thing about the women on trail at Salem is that they were innocent. This is what that reference says: “Hey, remember that real life event where women who weren’t witches were horrifically killed because others thought they were evil? None were actually burned, but culturally we tend to think they were. So that’s the image in our collective mind: innocent women on fire.” Except... Salem is actually a witch. Salem is evil. Salem is guilty. Or at least, the questions surrounding the extent of her guilt  — How much responsibility does she hold in comparison to the Gods? How much agency does she still have after the grimm pool?  — has not been acknowledged by the text. Yang just yelled at Salem for killing her mom and Oscar is about to blow her up. This is not a “Question Salem’s humanity” scene, it’s a “Kill the witch” scene... yet it uses an allusion that is contrary to what the moment is trying to achieve. So what are we supposed to take away from this? Do we adhere to the subtext and believe that Salem is innocent somehow, ignoring what the actual text says, or do we uphold the text and in doing so undermine the reliability of every other allusion in the show? If we can’t trust Salem’s, why would we trust, say, Penny’s? 

RWBY’s allusions are all over the place and yes, I think that lack of consideration extends to who they randomly decided to genderbend. There’s no acknowledgment of  — let alone engagement with  — how many of these characters and historical figures were trying to pass themselves off as another gender, nor does RWBY acknowledge how the need to do so feeds into our current and historic assumptions about gender as a whole. Why does the man dress as a woman? To keep himself safe and seen as a non-threat. Why does the woman dress as a man? To gain access to places previously barred from her and to gain the respect she otherwise wouldn’t be afforded. And, of course, in 2021 there’s the expectation that media will include trans characters, GNC characters, non-binary characters, cis characters uninterested in practicing traditional femininity/masculinity, etc. None of which RWBY tackles outside of May, a woman who references a systematic transphobia we otherwise never see in the show. May, as a minor character, is great and I am in all honesty thrilled that she exists in the RWBY canon. However, the rest of the show is built on an anime conception of gender  — combat skirts and bare midriffs in the snow  — while nevertheless engaging with the very complicated question of how you re-imagine canonically/historically gendered people. As a “girl power” show, RWBY has opened itself up to questions like, “Okay, it’s great that you made these four fairy tale girls kickass, but can we talk about making Joan of Arc into a bumbling guy whose presence as a blonde, blue-eyed, sword-wielding man taking up lots of important screen time has generated accusations about this being a male-centered show?” It’s not a “RWBY is horrible for doing this!” issue, but a “RWBY is deliberately playing with gender and marketing itself as a progressive show, so... let’s figure out what these individual choices are actually implying and whether or not we consider that progressive.” 

[megumis-lashes]

Hi can I request Megumi with a very touchy crush

Megumi with a touchy crush HCs!

Fushiguro Megumi x Reader ^^

An: Hello! Sorry for the late response but I hope you can enjoy this anyways! Since it’s not specified I made this headcannons since that was easier! If you want anything different in future requests please specify at least: format, POV and gender! If you don’t I’ll just do whatever ^^

Contains: Touchy reader/physical contact, Megumi x reader, written with a female reader in mind but generally left as gn!, angst if you squint lol, possibly mistakes as my genius self is writing this at like 12am, just fluffff :) oh and you’re shorter than Megumi lol. (Oh and sorry if Megumi is a tad OOC in the drabble cuz his reactions can be tricky to write for 😅)

Word Count: 1.7k (I got carried away once again lol)

Soooo.... Megumi with a touchy crush? Sign me up!

Now we all know that Megumi is rather reserved and pretty straight forward so I think at first his reaction to your touchiness may be a bit awkward

Not awkward in the sense that he’s uncomfortable being around you but more as in he’s a bit.... shy

He’s not adjusted to receiving a lot of physical contacts so initially, he wasn't quite sure how to react 

His overall awkwardness really depends on how long he’s known you 

If he just met you during high school he would probably be a bit shocked at how comfortable you were with casual physical affection

While you would think nothing of it and treated practically everyone you knew (and were comfortable with) like this, Megumi would still be surprised 

While Yuuji and Nobara would adjust to your touchiness quite quickly, Megumi would probably stay blushy about it for a month or so until he wouldn't think much about it anymore 

it’d be a bit different if he knew you for a while or even knew you as childhood friends

Typically being touchy doesn't become a habit overnight sooo he’d be a lot more used to it and barely think about it 

I don’t see him as one to openly accept or adjust to physical affection without being a bit shy 

He’d probably tease you or question you about it from time to time and be one to begrudgingly accept affection 

Totally be one to act really annoyed by your touchiness but in reality, he treasures the soft moments away from danger 

All of this would change when he realizes he has a crush on you though :0

Cue blushy, awkward Megumi and oblivious you featuring another oblivious idiot, Yuuji, and an all-knowing Nobara 

Megumi isn’t one to develop crushes immediately or overnight since he must value that person’s personality most of all 

He thought of you as purely platonically within these first few months of knowing you untilllll his brain just clicked 

He was like.... ‘Oh shoot... I have a crush....”

Having a crush is refreshing for Megumi but also quite distracting with how touchy you are

Instead of just ignoring the affection or casually playing it off, Megumi forgets how to react 

Now he knows that deep down he really likes receiving affection from you cuz he realized how he likes you more than just a companion or classmate  

Cue Megumi being 10 times more awkward than usual 

Normally if you were to walk up to him and throw your arm over his shoulder playfully or something like that he’d either ignore it, pretend it's not happening or just playfully shove your arm off his shoulder 

Now he just freezes and is like ‘oh what to do’

Would be that person who googles ‘how to act normally around your crush’ but at the same time think its stupid and stop reading the article like five minutes in lol

He’d probably have one of two reactions: 

Cease to function and just stand awkwardly still or

Awkwardly pull away 

...

Now as much as Megumi pretends to hate your touchiness, you do know that he’s okay with you playing around so this reaction is pretty unusual

You probably are a little confused as to why he’s acting like this 

Like huhh????? I thought we were good?????

Cue Megumi continuing to be awkward for a while 

Everyone became more awkward than usual since that day because the friendly atmosphere was put off due to Megumi being even more closed off than usual

He practically avoids you at this point

Ofc you start to feel bad about it

Like did you do something wrong??? Take it too far?? 

Touchiness has always been in your nature and seeing someone react so sharply to it makes you feel insecure about your habits so you lessen the touchiness within the friend group

and everyone notices

Yuuji misses your playfulness and Megumi is simply overwhelmed and lost within his own thoughts and emotions 

Nobara is the most.... suspicious 

While examining Megumi lately (not in a weird way she swears) she noticed the sudden change in behavior 

That’s when she realized ‘Does the Fushiguro Megumi have a crush????’ 

Ofc her curiosity gets the best of her so she just has to question Megumi 

So she does

After a small mission the team had gone on, she asked Megumi to talk 

‘So promise to answer truthfully.’

‘Yes I promise” 

‘Do you have a crush on Y/N?’

“Huh’ Megumi deadpans. This came out of nowhere 

As much as he wishes to play it cool and dismiss the girl’s thoughts, he physically cannot and instead goes into blushy cannot function mode

Nobara takes notice to this immediately

‘Aha! So I was correct! Take that Yuuji!’

Yes they totally made bets on this 

Once again Megumi is lost 

‘Huh? Bets on what?”

‘Bets on what?”Are you seriously that oblivious? On your crush! It’s so obvious it’s painful!” She sighed dramatically

Now Megumi is even more lost 

Like sure he was confused about where his crush stands but he wasn’t aware that he was obvious????

Nobara goes on to explain how stiffly he reacts to your touches and how his blush doesn’t really go unnoticed 

She also explains how you were moping around lately cuz you thought you made him uncomfortable

Shocked at this new found information he rushed out of their real quick to go... idk possibly confess but be more focused on apologizing 

AN: Here’s a quick scenario in first person of how that would go since I have zero self-control :0 

I was settled on the small bed in my school dorm room. Placed upon a stack of pillows was my laptop, through which played whatever random Netflix show I chose. It didn’t really matter what it was as the media was quickly discarded by my mind and treated as background noise. My mind was swimming with rather..intrusive thoughts. As much as I wanted to relax and shut off my mind for the night I simply couldn’t. My thoughts continued to drift back to a certain ravenette and the issues that had circled around him for a while now. Fushiguro Megumi, a boy I met a few years back when beginning jujutsu. We were friends... or at least I considered us friends and I had taken quite a liking to the boy. Despite his distant and rather closed off personality, I had developed a casual and comfortable bond with the male... or so I thought. All changed when he started acting strangely, almost as if I had hurt him or bothered him a little too much with my habits. Admittedly I was a bit hurt over Megumi’s actions but I was more confused. I had always been touchy, so why the sudden reaction to it? 

As if the world was messing with me, a knock sounding from my dorm room door shook me from my train of thought. 

“Coming!” I quickly pushed the blankets and began walking towards the door. The person behind that door was definitely not who I was expecting. Behind the door stood Megumi Fushiguro, pacing lightly as his hand slightly ruffled his hair.

“Megumi?! Did you need something?” It was strange to see Megumi at my door as it was nearing 9 PM and he was usually one to avoid unnecessary intrusions. 

“Oh hi Y/N. Sorry to bother you so late but I’ve come to apologize..” He explained, carding his hand through his hair nervously.

“Apologize for what exactly?” I questioned.

“For how I’ve been acting lately..” He stated. I shook my head. 

“Ahh about that... I’ve been meaning to ask you something..” I mumbled. “Megumi.. do I uhh.. make you uncomfortable? I mean I know I’m kinda touchy and I’ve noticed that you uh don’t-”

“No no no! That's what I’m here to clear up about... Look it's not what you think! You don’t make me uncomfortable I’ve just been too focused on my own thoughts to realize why you may think that...’ We’re both way too oblivious’ or at least that’s what Nobara says..” He trailed off. I sighed in relief. I was happy, albeit a bit confused but still happy that he didn’t despise me. 

“Ok ok.. I’m glad you don’t hate me at least!” I smiled, throwing my arm around his shoulder as I did in the past. “I do have one question though!”

“Ask away.” He quietly chuckled, finally at ease in my touches. 

“What do you mean ‘we’re both oblivious’? And what does Nobara have to do with this?” I questioned, leaning my head onto the taller male’s shoulder. His eyes widened a bit as he glanced away awkwardly. 

“Well, you see... I don’t really know how to say this but..” 

“Just spit it out already!” I playfully slapped his back. 

“I have a crush on you...” He mumbled looking away. 

“....huh” I deadpanned. “That’s why you were awkward all of a sudden? All because you like me? Wait you like me?!” I shook my head, leaving the casual embrace we had settled into. 

“Yeah... that’s not a bad thing is it?” He questioned, once again rubbing at his neck nervously.

“No no of course not!” I waved dramatically. “I’ll let you know that I like you too! Quite a lot actually!” I chuckled thinking of Nobara’s words. “Now I understand what she was saying about obliviousness... Now that I think about it you were sooo obvious! I'm ashamed that I didn’t notice sooner.” I sighed, coming down from my small laughing fit. 

“ Hey well, I didn’t know how to act! I was trying my best ok....” He mumbled. I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his left cheek, chuckling at his blushy reaction. 

“Don’t worry about it! I mean we cleared everything up didn’t we?” I pondered.

“So uhh.. do you wanna be my girlfriend then?” He questioned, looking as flustered as ever. 

“I’d love that!” I smiled. Glancing at my watch my eyes widened. 

“Hey, it's getting late! Why don’t you come watch Netflix with me yeah?!” I pulled the ravenette into my dorm, leaving him little time to respond.  That night we drifted off together surrounded by the noise of old Netflix movies and warmed by the feeling of love. 

[dumbass-mha-simp]

Hawks x Reader

This is very self indulgent tbh. Mostly gender neutral but does mention make up. Also the reader has mega family trauma cuz same.

Warnings: mentions of food, alcohol, reader is drunk but keigo is vv respectful & doesn't try anything, reader doesn't talk to their family, past family abuse, reader is kinda mean to him at first

I wrote this at like 4am and my phone is wonky and keeps autocorrecting "you" to "he" for no reason but i did like one quick pass through before posting so hopefully it's good enough, this is probably one of the first times I've actually published my fanfiction so hopefully it ain't shit,

----------------------------------

For the last couple months you've been teasing him. Practically any other girl in your position would swoon in your position. But where's the fun in letting him get what he wants so quick?

Pro Hero Hawks, had seemingly everyone wrapped around his finger. With eyes pierced in deep gold and, blazing, ruby red wings, it's hard for anyone to not be attracted to him.

You stood in the back corner of a "special hero party," trying to discern if you should sneak out and do anything more interesting than standing with a bunch of other heros.

"Hello there, beautiful." A thick and sweet voice called as you turned your head to them. "Looking lonely all alone back here, let me join?" Hawks, the number two hero was offering to stand with you. Staying it is I suppose.

"I admire your work, you're really dedicated kid. I like watching your stuff." He says taking a slow sip of his drink.

"You? You watch me?" The disbelief of it rung through in sarcasm. How were you to expect someone like him watched your work. You continued sipping from your drink, even if it was a boring party there was free fancy alcohol and that's all a hero could ever need.

"I wanna see more of you, and not just on the screen or anything. I want to get to know you, you know, maybe take you out a bit, hottie." He uses his middle finger to gently lift your chin up.

"And why do you think I'd immediately just accept some date from a guy I've never even talked to?" You dryly laugh out taking another sip.

"C'mon pretty thing, you know me. Your friendly neighborhood Hawks. The hottest, and most loved person you'll ever meet."

"Ah that's what you are, the hot, amazing, charming, hero to any and all." You scoffed

"The one and only."

You spent the rest of the night either playing hard to get, or annoyed at him. You couldn't exactly tell.

This carried on for months, every event you attended, he was right there on your heels like an abandoned, clingy puppy. He's even started patrolling with you.

"Say when are you gonna quit and just accept a date dollie?" He charmed up behind you.

"I'm at work, Hawks." Your boots cracked on the wet pavement as the last bits of rain desperately clung to the air.

"Why do you play so hard to get?" He questioned in a more serious tone. He was genuinely curious about you. "Most people would kill to have me begging for them, let alone after giving me to cold shoulder so many times." You could hear the upturn in his lips as he spoke.

"Why do you happen to find me the one person worth going for?" You retorted back.

"You interest me. There's very few people I'm genuinely curious about, but one of them's you, kid." He looked up into your eyes from the street. Something you'd never thought you'd see in Hawks' eyes was sincerity over such a topic. He genuinely wanted to know you.

".........Let's just say letting people in isn't my forte." You say quickly but with a slight hint of pain. You begin to walk off again and he doesn't question. He doesn't push you to tell him why. But you could see the way he processes your words on his face.

A bar, on a Thursday night, alone. How pathetic of you. Luckily you had no work tomorrow, a big mission the week before let them cut a couple weekends longer. As you downed your refill you questioned how many you've had.

"How long have I been here?" You whispered slightly to yourself before bringing it to your lips.

The warm rush reflow through your body as you let yourself fall to it. The bartender looked at you from the corner of his eye.

"I'm cutting you off for the night." He looks earnestly at you.

"Now that's not very nice there." You laugh back at him.

You pull out your phone and attempt to call some friends but lucky enough for you, you chose a night they were all at work to recklessly get drunk in the middle of the city. The only other contact you could think of was Hawks.

There's no way he'll pick up. He's gotta be busy. I could find literally anyone else to do it. You mutter in your brain as you go into his contact and start a call.

It rings twice before his voice calls out to you. "Hey this is hawks. ... (Y/h/n), are you there?"

Okay act cool and sober. "Heeeeyyy bird." Shit.

You could practically feel his shit eating grin across the phone. "You in need of a hero babe?"

"Can you please pick me up?" A whine took over your voice. You hated being drunk in front of people like him. That soft affectionate side seems to burst its way out when the alcohol takes control.

"Tell me where you are birdie." He said as you heard some ruffling. "(Bar name idk)." You rough out tiredly.

"Be right there angel." He called before hanging up.

You put the phone down on the counter and groaned. Why him? You try so hard to make sure you don't fall for people. They always end up like the last. You feel like they stop caring once they really meet you. Like they don't want the cake after the first bite.

Used, alone, and forgotten. It's a stabbing feeling that your used to. A feeling of burning heaviness in your stomach.

You sit slumped down onto the bar contemplating your feelings for the winged hero for awhile. Why can't emotions just be controlled?

"Hey-o!" You heard a voice from behind you break through the thoughts corrupting your mind. Hawks smiled and thanked the bartender before reaching his arms around you and helping you off the stool.

I didn't know he could be so gentle..

He walked you out the door and held your arms softly, but supportedly as he looked you in the face. "I'm gonna fly us okay? Don't wriggle to much." With that he picks you up and starts beating his wings.

"Hawks?" You call slurred and quiet.

"Yeah, kid?" He glances down at you with a light smile.

"What's your real name?"

"Well why would I tell you that when you refuse to tell me yours so often?" He chuckled.

"(Y/n) (y/l/n)"

"W..what?"

"My name. It's (Y/n) (y/l/n)." You replied back.

You could see the confusion of your open demeanor. But there was something else in his eyes. Something you couldn't put your finger on.

"Soooooooo....." you trailed off with a smile.

"Keigo Takami." He chortled at your ridiculous smile.

"That's a lot prettier than I thought it would be." You stared into his face. How could anyone not find him attractive. The perfect mix of facial hair, jawline, that dumb grin that was insanely attractive, those eyes that were the perfect gold.

"You're gorgeous, Keigo." You whisper more to yourself than him.

"And you apparently drank a lot more than I suspected." He tried to brush off but you could feel a bit more heat from his face.

"Here it is." He lands gingerly and places you down on the ground, wrapping his arm under your shoulder and holding onto the small of your back. "Let's get you in bed."

"Have you eaten today?" He calls after setting you on the couch and going to the kitchen to get you some water. You shake your head and he looks a little concerned but doesn't push it. He hasn't either so late take out it is.

"What do you want?" He looks to you above the old paper menu he has saved from a place not to far from here. "Cuddles." You pout looking through your phone.

"I meant for dinner (y/n)." He laughs at you. "Oooh that makes sense." You laugh too, "anything with noodles and shrimp, I reaaaaally like shrimp." You smile at him wholesomely as he looks at you with the same missing thing as earlier in his eyes.

He orders for the both of you then takes you to the bathroom and sits you on the counter with your bag. "Makeup remover?" He asked placing your bag on your lap. You pull out some individual wipes as he gentle pulls them from your fingers and moves the bag to the side.

He softly wipes at your face as you close your eyes and focus on the feeling of his hands. After wiping the makeup off he wipes down your face with water to make sure there's no remover left either.

"Beautiful. Now do you want to go watch something while we wait for the food?"

His eyes gleamed at you and it filled you with that feeling of admiration. He was being so considerate and kind. Nothing like you imagined. You were safe. Safe here with him by your side.

You placed a kiss to his cheek.

"(Y/nn)," he closed his eyes softly taking in the tingle of where your lips pressed. "You're drunk off your ass, baby. Lets get you fed and in bed, dear." You nod tiredly as he pulls you down from the counter.

You sit back down on his couch as he answers the door and takes the food. "Someone order shrimp?"

"Oooo!" You clap your hands rapidly and look to him excitedly. He giggles at you and hands you the food.

You sit and eat together. Talking about whatever comes to mind first and building on from wherever it wandered.

"So, what's your family like?" He asked innocently enough. "Eh." You brushed off. A subject you never liked was family.

"I get that." He tried to laugh but it seemed forced. "I was born with two parents and couldn't get a single one to even care about me." You laughed to him.

"Do you talk to them?" He looks like he wants your answer. Like he cares about what you say.

"I try not to. I cut them off when I was a teen, everyone blamed it on me being a dumb rebellious kid. No one ever tried to see what happened in those walls." You trailed off.

"Were you hurt?" He tilts his head as concern covers his features. "That's an understatement." You force a smile back at him and take a bite.

"I...I think I kinda understand what you feel in a way." You meet his eyes as they lazily traveled to the floor. His thoughts stiring from behind his pupils.

"No parent buddies?" You put out your hand for a fist bump. He laughs and fist bumps you, "Yeah, no parent buddies."

You lean a bit closer to him. "I'm sorry you were hurt. They didn't deserve the control they had over you." You went a bit more serious as you draw your eyes up to him.

"Im sorry for you too." He breathed out to you. "Now let's get you in bed." A smile took over as he moved your empty food package onto the table and picked you up.

"PUT ME DOWN KEIGO!" You laugh and softly hit your hands against him. He laughs with you then throws you onto the bed.

"Why am I on the bed?" You frown. "Why wouldn't you be?" He looks as he places your water on the night stand next to you.

"It's your bed."

"And I get to choose who sleeps in it."

He places a feather-light kiss on your temples then goes to the door.

"Keigo-" he turns, "cuddle me?"

"I'll clean up and be back here soon okay?" He smiles at you. "Okay"

After twenty minutes of struggling to keep yourself up you feel a weight press into the mattress, keeping some distance.

You roll up next to him and wrap yourself around him.

"Sweet dreams Keigo."

"Goodnight, (y/n)."

And there he was when you woke up. Right beside you. After awhile you got used to seeing his face when you woke up. Always being able to see the look in his eyes you tried so hard to put your finger on. The lovestruck stupid he was for you.

[dear-systems]

TW/ CSA, COCSA, SA, abuse, possible internalized Something Bad But I Dont Know What, general panic, idiocy, and self doubt akdj

Hiiiii,,, can I ask some for advice/opinions/guidance for me possibly being a system? It’s a very scary thought, I don’t think I wanna be a system, not really. It’s all confusing, it’s all a lot, and idk what to do. I don’t remember a lot of my childhood, sure, but like, I remember some things! I remember enough! What could’ve happened to me? I lived close to a predator that’s true, but I never slept over more than a couple nights, and I can’t remember anything they could’ve done to me, they never showed any signs. I grew up in a home, though, with a sibling of mine, and theyre… a complicated at best story. They were def preyed upon, and they also sexually assaulted me. I have blurry memories from when I was little of them playing “”games”” with me that make me wanna throw up, but they never really crossed the line into the assault like that one time. I repressed that one time soo much anyway, because I was so ashamed and horrified. It happened when I was 11. Could you even develop a dissociative disorder at age 11? And how would I remember ish and acknowledge that trauma without even KNOWING about others??? And that’s not considering the idea that I might not be traumagenic, which somehow is scarier?? It makes me mad at the world, cause I feel like I’d be even MORE hated and called fake and believe it myself. And also, that there wasn’t a reason. That I’d be going through this pain for no reason other than brain go brr, not brain go cope. Am I making sense?? I’m sorry if not, and I’m sorry if I have said/will say something offensive. I don’t wanna downplay their experiences, but also I don’t know a lot and I just. Aghh, yknow? I haven’t done too much research, cause I’m lazy and I’m scared akdhsjhfj, and most of the time I just ignore this. Until it just hits me for a couple weeks or days that this isnt normal, is it? I don’t think I really hear voices, my body is never out of my control. I always want whatever it’s doing. If I hear anything, its just in my head, and in MY voice, and it could be just like,,,, not alters yknow? Just me thoughts. I’m genderfluid, of that I am certain, I was only ever a solid gender when I didn’t feel like me. Even if there’s other people in here with me, I’m genderfluid, and none of them have ever shown interest in anyone in a romo/smexy way, just as I have. So idk what’s that about??? Different genders but same orientation? Idk. Phibi isn’t a human, and it doesn’t like calling itself by human terms, so though it too doesn’t feel attraction, technically it isn’t aroace like the rest of us. Or me. Idk man I’m confused. I have such terrible memory. That’s the worst part. One time I forgot how old I was lmao. Everything is a blur, but none of it is completely a blackout. If it ever feels empty, all I have to do is try real hard to get SOMETHING, and eventually I will, so. Eh. But it’s all so, so blurry. I can recall things I did, but it isn’t like… attached? It’s strange. It takes me a moment, like getting a file in a computer and it lagging, and it just seems so distant. Sometimes tho, it isn’t, and sometimes it is. It’s all inconsistent. That’s what really gets to me, I think. It’s hard to make out, and I suck at handling things that are hard to make out. Usually I thought I either repressed things or got over them quickly or something when I get triggered (I have PTSD oof) but today with the whole who-are-i thing when I got triggered, I was very panicky at first as usual. I was not having a good time akdjdjj, as per usual. Then I kinda became numb, dissociated, and then came to… feeling surprisingly ok? I didn’t feel like Me, of course. This is confusing. I felt like someone else. I STILL do! I feel like that person! I feel like the one that panicked is another, it’s weird to refer to us like this, I’m sorry. It’s so confusing. So that doesn’t bode well for my “oh I’m perfectly fine and a singlet” case. I still feel the closest to them, though. Everyone else is more separate. This doesn’t make sense ahdhskfj. I feel like I’m faking it. I feel like I can’t possibly be plural. (1/2)

I remember as a child feeling so sad and helpless, that I would relish in my own mind, if that makes sense. I liked the fact it was Mine, and no one could take that from me. No one could know what was inside it, not really, not unless they were a mind reader, which I chose to believe for my sanity didn’t exist akdjsj. I had full control over it. If I wanted there to be a palace with me as the sole ruling prince with a pink gown and infinite cake and toys in there, I could. If I wanted to go “home”, even when physically and logically I was there, I could. Im scared that being plural will take that from me. On one hand, it’s kinda nice. I remember Phibi once took themselves to school for me, planned to go through the whole day if a switch hadn’t happened, if I’m allowed to even use those words akfjakd. I was relieved at not having to go to school. But also. This is scary, this is strange, this is invasive, and it’s giving me far too much of an identity crisis. I just. Uh help?? Somehow?? In any way?? That would be nice tho obvs you don’t haVe to akdjskjd (2/2)

You're definitely not alone, anon, and it certainly sounds like you're a system. It is hard, to adjust, but you'll get there in time.

May I recommend having things that are exclusively yours? A blog, a spot in your innerworld if you have one, a playlist, etc. Something that is just yours.

[stonersufi]

I want to ask something since you are a Muslim ( I am a Muslim too ) did you find anyway to end the struggle between sexuality and faith ?

I am a sapphic women and struggle a lot, because I have to chose between my love for women and love for my faith, some Muslims lgbt says things about that homosexuality is not haram but I feel like we are only trying to end the guilt, such as changing the actual meaning of surah Luut.. and most of known religious leaders who was enough knowledge about Islam said it’s not ok.. so I don’t know I confused, I used to be happy and ok with my sexuality but as soon as I tried to be more closer to Allah I felt guilt, I cannot speak to non-lgbt Muslims because they tend to doubt our love for Allah and act like they are the only one who loves him

okay i have few things to say for you.

first, please go to this website https://www.mpvusa.org/lgbtqi-resources

i promise you, you’re not the only spahhic muslim woman in the world :) there’s so many of us and many of us live healthy fulfilling lives

Second, i used to have guilt as well until i tried to find the source of that guilt. i realized it was from other peoples perspective of what islam is and even what allah means to them. How can allah be all compassionate (Ar-Rahim) then punish me for having that same virtue within myself? To have compassion for another being isn’t haram regardless of what their genitals or gender identity or sexual identity might be.

Third, Recognize that as America is colonized so is Islam. Europe and Ottomans have a long history of trade and with that came the Eurocentric, male perspective in the translation of the Quran. The website i listed mentions that.

Remember Jesus wasn’t white. not until Europe took the idea of Jesus and used it for their own gain (if you took U.S history, this is where manifest destiny comes into play)

Fourth, the website i sent (Muslims for Progressive Values) has recommended readings one of which is a great translation of the Quran, one without an all male, european perspective but rather discusses the actual context of the text (like at what point in history where they sent, the ancient arab meanings that can mean something else, etc)

here’s an online version: http://www.studyquran.org/resources/Quran_Reformist_Translation.pdf

I just wanted to also end this with that you don’t have to come out to anyone if you don’t feel safe. I know it’s really tricky and difficult but if you don’t feel safe coming out to your family, please don’t. if you have a job, i’d recommend saving up and finding a more better environment for your well-being (not recommending this, just a thought because idk your situation)

[fluffbyday-smutbynight]

About the discourse on gender/orientation discrimination in Italy

I've pondered a lot about writing something on this topic. I'm hardly an expert and I'll fall short for sure, and I don't even know if anyone cares.

The thing is... I feel like the outside perception might be a bit skeeved (correct me if I'm wrong). We've had some relevant pieces of media achieving international success (e.g. Call Me By Your Name), and I'm really chuffed that Måneskin are becoming some sort of queer icons - but please be aware that we (as a country) have a looong road ahead.

And while I don't feel much equipped to open up a debate about it, what I'm not seeing on my dashboard is any mention (especially not in English) of this speech, which rocked the boat quite a bit here.

So, the least I can do is trying to translate it at the best of my abilities, just to give you an idea about what kind of mindfuckery we're going through.

Some context:

a law against discrimination is currently being discussed in Parliament. Copy-pasting from here:

The Zan Law aims to contrast all discrimination and violence on the grounds of sexual orientation, gender, gender identity and disability. Numerous artists, social influencers and personalities from the world of show business, in particular the famous rap singer Fedez, have spoken out in favour of it, pointing the finger at the Right League (Lega), which has repeatedly blocked its agreement.

Fedez (sidenote: while his music is not my cup of tea, he's a brilliant businessman and activist imho) has been invited to the big music festival we host every year for the 1st of May - which is televised by RAI, the public national broadcast (more specifically on the RAI3 channel). His speech was deemed controversial and "inappropriate" by the RAI higher-ups, but he chose to speak anyway.

Here it is, under the cut, with a few thoughts about it.

(TW: mentioned homophobia)

" When I got on this stage they asked me: “1st of May: tell us about a first time” - and indeed today has been a “first time” to me.

It’s the first time I’ve forwarded a speech for approval by political institutions; approval that was, unfortunately, denied at first, or better said: the RAI3 top management asked me to omit names, to omit political parties, and to sugarcoat its contents.

I had to fight a bit (a lot) but in the end they allowed me to speak freely.

I take full responsibility and all the consequences of what I’ll say and do; however, be aware that this speech’s content has been described, by the deputy manager at RAI3, as “inappropriate”.

[t.n.: talks briefly about the show business jobs crisis due to the pandemic and the need for welfare and reforms, as it’s the national workers' holiday]

Now comes the stronger stuff; that was just the “pre-approved” part of the speech.

A couple of words about the man of the hour: Ostellari (t.n: Lega Nord and Senate member). So, he sanctioned that a law proposition by the Parliament (therefore the utmost expression of the people, already approved by the Chamber of Deputies) like the Zan Law could have been blocked by one individual’s attention-seeking, e.g.: he himself.

After all, Ostellari is a member of a political line-up which has stood out, over the years, for its battle against equality.

If I may, I’d like to recount some of their “aphorisms”:

“If I had a gay son, I’d burn him in a oven” - Giovanni de Paoli, Lega Liguria regional councillor

“Gays? Let them start behaving like normal people!” - Alessandro Rinaldi, Lega councillor in Reggio Emilia

“Gays: victims of nature’s abomination” - Luca Lepore and Massimiliano Bastioni, Lega regional councillors

(they’ve co-written that one… wondering what they could come up with, each on his own)

“Gays are a tragedy upon reproduction and the conservation of the species” - Alberto Zelger, Lega town councillor in Verona

“Gay marriage leads to race extinction” - Stella Khorosheva, Lega candidate

The last one… this one… there’s a touch of fantasy in there (laughs):

“They give injections to babies to make them gay” - Giuliana Livigni, Lega candidate

Somebody, like Ostellari, has said that we have more pressing priorities in this time of pandemic, as compared to the Zan Law. So, let’s take a look at these priorities. The Senate hasn’t had time for the Zan Law because they had to discuss:

wine labeling

the CONI (t.n: National Olympics Committee) reorganization

the bilingualism compensation owed to the cops in Bolzano

...and, just ‘cause we lack for nothing:

restoring the pension to Formigoni (t.n. former president of the Lombardy region, found guilty of corruption and now detained under custody)

Therefore, according to Ostellari, Formigoni’s pension is more important than protecting everyone’s rights, and the rights of those who are discriminated against on a daily basis, even to the point of violence. ,,

---

I don't quite know what to make of this, guys. It's disheartening, really.

It's sad that, in the year 2021 a.C., we have to fight nail and tooth for a damn anti-discrimination law (to have it approved and to have it discussed in the first place. But I guess wine labeling is paramount).

It's appalling that all the quotes mentioned above are coming from "legit" politicians who are in charge of public institutions, and from a political party which has been sadly gaining consensus over the last years. (and I'm not even getting started on their racism. The Lega, simply put, is fucking fascism).

It's unbelievable that a private citizen, albeit in the public eye, like Fedez has had to fight for his freedom of speech. There's a recording of a (quite heated) phone call between him and the RAI management, where they basically try to exert censorship on his words. Idk, maybe I'll try and translate that one, too.

... I'll see myself out. Thank you for reading.

[hellishgoat]

Thanks for the tag!!! @tatsueli :3c (sorry it took so long for me to do this ; ;)

Name: Theo

Gender: Male

Star sign: Sagittarius

Height: 5’6 sooo 167 cms :’)

Time: 1:07 am I gotta sleeeeep!!!

Birthday: December 7th (born in winter... Gojira...)

Favorite band/group: hhhhh Deftones, Mastodon, Static X,,, and.... uhhh many moar XD but those are some of my top faves that come to mind right now

Favorite solo artist: Ozzy Osbourne....... Cher ... Ashnikko and yea there’s moar here toooo my mind is just blank

Song stuck in my head: Anything by 7m3 man this song has been stuck in my head all day 😩 he has such a nice voice it’s unreal!! Also it makes me feel all ->🥺 lol

Last movie: Clown Motel. I don’t recommend it’s fucking SHITE, I actually turned it off bout 30 mins in. (It’s a horror movie and usually I can stomach them even if they suck but this one actually pissed me off it was so bad) XD

Last show: Dr Phil... My stepsister forced me to watch it with her 😒

When did I create this blog: 2019 or so...

What do I post: fandom stuff, my art(occasionally) lot of aesthetic things... and just things I find funny. Oh and like lots of music. I try to keep it positive here but 😅 it maybe hasn’t been the best recently. Smh....... Buuuut uhhm I am trying to make my blog reflect me the best I can and I think I do a good job at that. :’}

Last thing I googled: one piece gogoanime dub.. :’)

Other blogs: 😳 uhhgfghnnnnmnmmmmmm @lovelyleons is my resident evil sideblog.... I have a My Hero Academia one but I’m not active on it at all anymore so I won’t share it and then everything else is just me hoarding Urls XD

Do I get asks: yea :3 I mean not always but I do appreciate the hell out of them all when I do get them ; u ;

Why I chose this Url: cause it’s cool B) and goats ‘nuff said

Following: 296

Followers: 192 (love ya folks ❤️)

Average hours of sleep: 6-7 hours I s’pose, I never really know, it’s either I oversleep or I don’t get enough 😪

Lucky number: 8 🎱

Instruments: I don’t own any, would be cool tho! Like having a bass or something 🤔 when I was in fourth grade I tried the violin and I just could not get it down (I mostly did it cause my mom really wanted me to play the devil went down to Georgia for her lol) sad to say I couldn’t do it xD

What am I wearing: Van Halen shirt (and long sleeve under shirt cause this one has a hole in the stomach of it :( it’s my fave tho I can’t get rid of it!!) just some sweatpants... and lil fuzzy sock monkey socks :•)

Dream job: im just gonna say not having a job too xD (but ok ok I have given it some thought and like maybe owning... a diner or something would be kinda cool 🤔a breakfast place) ahh idk...

Dream trip: Japan would be cool... or honestly anywhere that isn’t here. (But of course Finland too 😉) traveling the world would be nice... if I wasn’t so terrified of the thought of being on airplanes ._. I’d need someone to hold my hand all the way XD and also like all the Dramamine in the world would probably make it better

Favorite food: hhhhhhhhhh Pierogis are awesome... I like beef stew, pizza (and I have to say that pineapple on pizza is amazing😤) can’t go wrong with anything involving pasta... ahh it’s always so hard to answer favorite foods > n < cause now I’m just forgetting everything I actually do enjoy

Nationality: American

Favorite songs: Entombed by Deftones.. You get what you give by New Radicals always makes me super happy, Ghost of Perdition by Opeth is rad as fuck.. Jaguar God is perfect.. sustain the untruth.... ok I’ll stop now :’D (SIKE...I also just reallly enjoy the hell out of Chasm by Flyleaf)

Last book I read: Something something.... I haven’t read anything in forever.... really should get myself into reading again tho

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: the pokemon universe ; ; I could have so many Pokémon!! And travel everywhere. Atla universe so I can be an earthbender. And yea a nice little dreamy place in a Ghibli film as well ((((imma actually add a fourth... but living in the one piece world would be pretty sweet.. specially the freedom that would come with being a PIRATE!!)))) ; ;

Gonna tag @mikey-putrid @seaofashes @radellama @junk-culture @isabelle-lux @kuukigajan @kneesofthebee @lordswagcheese @adultswin @baeson-todd 🤔💭 of course no pressure if you don’t want to do it! No biggie!!