#but internally i imagine her being like 'my girlfriend's mad at me. might go ask gale to blow us both up'

[wrenhavenriver]

-> Shadowheart: Can I assume we’ve put our quarrel to rest?

[sebscore]

THE GRID'S DELIGHT | SERIES MASTERLIST

summary: the shenanigans of female gen z driver and the formula one grid.

author’s note: I started this series, because I'd like to imagine what it would be like to be part of the group of drivers and how it would be like to interact with them on a regular basis. It's all fun and games, and I don't know these people in real life. everything is fiction! the stories aren't written in chronological order, but I try to put them in the right order below! 

Requests are always welcome in my inbox! Opinions, thoughts and feedback are also greatly appreciated.

— ABOUT THE OC

HEADCANONS || MORE HEADCANONS

:: Things about being the only female driver on the ‘22 grid.

DRIVER X TGD HEADCANONS

:: The dynamics between driver!reader and the formula 1 drivers. in the link you can find the masterlist.

EXTRAS

:: this includes thoughts, opinions, etc about the series. it doesn’t include requests.

— 2018

WELCOME TO THE STRANGE WORLD 

:: Y/N makes her F1 debut at the 2018 Australian Grand Prix. 

THE PRIZE THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

:: Y/N accepts the 'Rookie of the Year' award and receives a suprise from a special someone on stage.

— 2020 

TWITCH WAR

:: lando insults Y/N’s gaming skills and the events that followed.

PLEASE RISE FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM

:: An error in the sound system causes for the wrong song to play instead of Y/N’s national anthem.

— 2021 

THE MORE YOU KNOW

:: Y/N teaches Sebastian and Fernando what ‘bop’ means.

NO ONE LIKES A MAD WOMAN

:: Y/N receives a complaint from the FIA during the driver's briefing and no one is happy about it.

BREAK UP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND, I'M BORED 

:: Y/N flirts with a stranger not knowing she's the girlfriend of another F1 driver on the grid. 

THIS IS ALL I NEVER WANTED

:: Y/N goes through a rough patch and the drivers notice.

LET IT SPIRAL

:: Y/N gets into a crash and Seb & George come to the rescue.

SLOW DOWN, RED FLAG

:: The commentators are shocked by Y/N’s red flag habit.

BE YOUR WINGMAN

:: Y/N tries to get through an interview with Jenson, Daniel and Sebastian. 

GIDDY GOODBYES

:: Y/N and Kimi bid each other goodbye at the 2021 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix.

— 2022

A MAN’S WORLD

:: Y/N is asked about Christian Horner’s sexist comments.

THE ORIGIN OF RUSSY BUSSY

:: the title is pretty self-explanatory.

WHAT HAPPENS IN MONACO, STAYS IN MONACO

:: Y/N goes on a blind date and returns with a hickey the next day.

THE HELMET BET

:: Y/N and Zhou decide who the second best dressed driver on the grid is through a bet that involves holding the other drivers hostage at the driver's briefing.

GOSSIP GRID

:: Charles and Pierre don't trust Y/N when it comes to rumors around Oscar Piastri's move to McLaren.

RUMOUR HAS IT

:: Y/N and her fellow younger drivers react to certain rumours that have been going around about her love life, and it might include two colleagues of hers.

MONZA MANICURE

:: Daniel makes it up to Y/N for breaking her nail during a race.

LITTLE MISS BLACK DRESS

:: f1 drivers and their reactions to Y/N looking gorgeous in a dress.

KEEPING UP WITH THE GRID

:: What happens when Y/N takes over Martin's grid walk? 

THE LAST SUPPER

:: The drivers celebrate the life and career of Sebastian Vettel at Abu Dhabi and Y/N has a great story to tell.

— 2023 

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY 

:: Daniel, Lewis and Sebastian show their appreciation for Y/N on International Women's Day. 

GLASS HALF FULL KINDA GAL

:: Y/N goes on Instagram live to try out Daniel’s new wine, and the drivers react to it in the comments.

MONTE-CARLO MADNESS

:: Y/N meets her old mentor after months and experiences a chaotic qualifying in Monaco.

PUT IT INTO SPEED DRIVE

:: Y/N and the Twitch Quartet go on a small adventure in the streets of Monaco.

SNITCHES GET STITCHES

:: A collection of moments at the 2023 Austria Grand Prix.

LATE NIGHT TALKING

:: Pierre asks the question: “Out of all the drivers, who would you date?”

— 2024

EXCUSE ME

:: Y/N finds out about Lewis’ Ferrari move before the official announcement.

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS

:: Lando ends Y/N’s race, and they have different perspectives on how it transpired.

[thefanficmonster]

Power Couple

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing 

Genre: Fluff, Humor

Summary: Sean, Felix, Dave, and Joel welcome Corpse’s girlfriend to a game of Party Animals. It’s her first time playing and she has to deal with a lot more than just the controls and objectives - her boyfriend being a cute, cuddly sweetheart with ulterior motives to his clinginess.

Requested by @susceptible-but-siriusexual. Thank you so much for your request! Hope I captured what you wanted and how you wanted. Feel free to send any other requests you may have XOXO

It’s been one hell of a day. Had to correct twice as many documents as I was originally supposed to at work; found my car with a flat tire in the parking lot as I was about to go home; argued with my boss over the phone while stuck in a traffic jam. It’s been a rough twelve hours, but it has led me here and that’s what I’d rather think about.

By ‘here’ I mean I’m sitting on the couch in Corpse’s recording room, my computer in my lap, my screen displaying the screen to the game Party Animals. The suggestion was Corpse’s. He immediately picked up on my below par mood and wasted no time finding a solution to bright up the remainder of the day, shadowing the shitty portion of it. I am not what you would call a gamer. Sure I’ve played Among Us with Corpse and his friends a few times. Even that I struggle to do because I’m internally fangirling over all the people in the lobby. Yeah, dating a youtuber doesn’t mean you automatically stop gushing over the many content creators on the platform you’ve been watching for quite some time now. Corpse knows how nervous I get so he’s always near me when we play with Sean, Felix and the other. All he has to do is give me that encouraging smile and wink of his and I’m good to go. Side note: massive props to him for going easy on me in Among Us, getting teasingly called ‘simp’ by his friends in the process.

“You’ll love it.“ He promised me over and over again as the game was downloading on my computer.

“I don’t doubt that, Corpse. But I am going in completely blind and I seriously don’t wanna embarrass myself.“ I mumble a quick ‘nor you‘ under my breath, hoping he doesn’t catch it because I’m in for a pep talk if he does. 

To my dismay, he does, “Listen here, you couldn’t embarrass me even if you actively tried to do something outrageous. Most likely scenario, I’d join you in the act.” He ducks in front of the couch so we’re at eye level, his hand coming up to cup my cheek in the sweetest, most comforting gesture ever. “We’ll show em who’s the boss at stealing candy.”

I can’t help but laugh, feeling unable to express just how much this man means to me. Words can’t do the feeling justice.

“Y/N!“

“Y/N!!“

“Corpse Wife has arrived!“

Hearing all the greetings lights a flame in my chest, the warmth spreading all the way to my neck and cheeks. “Hi guys! Missed playing with you!”

“We missed you too!“ Dave, the only one of the gaming gang I’ve actually met in person, replies to me, his words along with all the others’ wrapping around me like a comfort blanket. Despite them knowing I’m a fan of theirs, they’ve always made me feel welcomed, comfortable, nothing less than them.

“You know anything about this game?“ Felix asks me.

I shake my head, almost forgetting he can’t see me, “Corpse told me it’s funny and cute. It sounds like the perfect game for me.” 

“Oh no, this is a game of survival. Survival of the fittest!“ Sean shouts excitedly, a bang following his shout I can only assume was him hitting his desk.

“I’d like to think I’m pretty fit.“ I shrug my shoulders, laughing along with the guys.

“This is the only way to find out if you actually are.“ Joel’s voice comes through my headphones in the form of a tease.

Sean mumbles quietly to himself as he’s deciding how to separate us in two teams. “Guys, a little help here. We all suck at this game, it doesn’t really matter who’s in which team.”

“Actually...“ Felix trails off, “Corpse and Y/N are the ultimate power couple in Among Us. Chances are they will be in this as well. So, the only logical move would be to...“

“I’m taking Y/N, you take Corpse.“ Sean declares. “Joel, Dave, who do you guys wanna be with?“

And the game starts. Sean, Joel and I are the Meowfia while Corpse, Felix and Dave are yet to choose a team name. We throw around snarky, cocky comments at each other, taunting the opposite team as we struggle to take the candy to our respective sides of the map.

“Don’t you dare pull that lever, Dave!“ I launch at Dave, knocking his cute avatar away from the lever, buying Joel and Sean some time to steal back the gummy bear Corpse and Felix took from us.

“Y/N! Joel is out! Help me!“ Sean is freaking out now. I ditch Dave’s unconscious body and run to Sean’s aid. 

As I’m helping him push it towards out area a member from the opposite team latches onto my avatar, weighing me down and hindering me from doing anything.

“Hug!“ Corpse laughs as he has literally turned into a koala, holding onto my avatar.

“Corpse, you know you are actually supposed to hinder Y/N, not hug her. It’s cute though, don’t get me wrong.“ Felix laughs as him and Sean continue to struggle over the gummy bear.

“Nah, his tactic’s great. I can’t do shit.“ I desperately try and shake him off, “Babe, this is unfair. I can’t even be mad at you!“ I whine, staring to panic now that Dave is back to life and Joel is nowhere to be seen.

The round is won by Felix, Dave and Corpse who, if I might add, didn’t let go of me for the rest of the game.

We switch maps, now every man for himself. We’re on the submarine, recreating the Hunger Games with cute fuzzy animals. The thought passes through my mind, causing me to giggle.

“Y/N, you sound exactly like I’d imagine your avatar to sound. You’re so cute.“ Sean’s avatar circles mine a few times as he laughs.

He’s not wrong, my pale blue puppy is indeed cute. Apparently immortal as well.

“How is Y/N still alive?! Holy shit, her and Corpse really are a power couple.“ Dave shrieks when he sees me pick up the freeze gun. “NOOO!“ He shouts, devastated by the fact I shot him, sending him straight to his death.

“Chill, Dave. It’s all cool. Nothing personal.“ I struggle to hide my laughter, “No hard feelings, right?“

“Of course not, love.“ I can tell he grits the sentence through clenched teeth.

“Aw Dave, you are such an ice guy.“ I giggle, now shooting Joel with the gun.

“Someone take that gun from her!“ Sean cries as him and Felix race up the submarine.

Suddenly, the avatar of my boyfriend again wraps itself around mine. I hadn’t seen him in a while, considering Sean knocked him into the ocean earlier in the round. 

“How are you still alive?!“ I try to spin my puppy to get him to let go but he holds on tightly. “Babe, I swear, you are cute and I love you, but this is ridiculous. How and why are you alive?”

“That’s his superpower! He never fucking dies.“ Felix laughs, letting out a yelp when he briefly slips while climbing.

“Immortals!!! Immortals!!!“ Sean breaks out into a song, a song I really like, breaking the restraints I had on my laughter.

“Drop the gun or we’re dying together.“ He says almost seriously. Even though I can only see the back of his head I know he’s grinning.

“A Titanic/Romeo and Juliet mashup? Why not? I can live with dying a double historical death.“ Even though I appear accepting of his offer, I’m still trying to set myself free.

In the end, Sean claims his first win of the game and the rest of us are dead at the bottom of the ocean. Corpse and I did indeed die a Romeo and Juliet/Titanic death, getting everyone in their feels. We make a deal to get together and play again as soon as possible and we all go our separate ways, exiting the Discord call.

*Later that night* 

After a dinner consisting of takeout and two thirds of a shitty romantic comedies, Corpse shifts from next to me, starting to get up from the couch. I am surprised to feel jolted out of a half sleep as the room is now completely silent, the TV being turned off.

“Hey where’re you going?“ I ask groggily, rubbing my sleepy eyes.

“I have some editing to do. Don’t worry, I won’t stay up too late.“ He kisses my forehead before grabbing his phone from the coffee table.

Just as he’s about to walk away, I wrap my arms around his legs. He laughs, catching onto what I’m insinuating. His chuckle brings a smile to my face and butterflies in my belly. No matter how long we date for or how much time we spend together, some things never change. 

“Payback, huh?“ He asks, the smile audible in the question. I keep my eyes shut but nod, my arms still around his legs. “Alright, you koala. You’re coming with me.”

In his recording room, he settles in his chair placing me in his lap in a way that my legs dangling off to the side, my side leaning against his chest, my face hidden in the crook of his neck. We’re both comfortable, content and relaxed.

I don’t know when exactly it happens, but all my mind has registered is a quiet ‘I love you’ and the soft touch of Corpse’s lips on my temple. I manage to reply with an ‘I love you too’ before my sleepiness consumes me, my body completely relaxing against his, the warmth of his body, his scent, the sound of his breathing making me feel safe and loved: the two feelings I want him to feel with the same intensity when I’m in his arms.

Something tells me he does.

@simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios  @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help

[pure-kirarin]

Slow & Steady [P2] [Sabo x f!reader] (+18)

Genre : Romance - Smut - Bestfriends to lovers General warnings : Alcohol consumption - Dark themes - Swearing - S m u t - possessiveness - Mention of ex-relationships - jealousy

A/N : This is really different from my usual writing style but I am experimenting. Please tell me your thoughts and don’t hesitate to ask to be added to the tag list :) AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/31877203?view_full_work=true

In the last chapter --  «-Enough playing now, you're going to sleep. -B-but ! This wasn't what I asked for....You're really a coward after all...You virgin... » He carried you to his room, putting you on the bed and sitting next to you. «-I'd love to prove you wrong. However, it would be better if you were in a state where you'd be able to recall how good I am. If you want me to fuck you this badly then maybe ask me when you're sober.

Part I - Part II

Part II  -Yeah yeah...Pff..You're no fun Sabo. Things were finally getting interesting ! »

He smiled seeing that you were now calmer. You started to yawn and bury your face in his pillow. He loved to see you getting so comfortable in his room. He really needed a cold shower after your little show.  -Goodnight (Y/N). I'll sleep on the couch. You can get comfortable. -Are you crazyy ? You gonna leave me alone like this ? Let's sleep together~ -Come on (Y/N), you're a big girl. You could sleep alone for one night, would you ? Translation : I don't want to spend the whole night with a semi. And you're dangerously flirty, and I have wanted you for years and now I have to abstain.

-Pleaaaase. You said looking at him with puppy eyes. He rolled his eyes placing a hand in his hair. God.damn.it.

You won again. Like every time. * * *  You opened your eyes hardly next day, feeling something hard against your thigh. You looked at the ceiling

Oh...I am not in my room...Where the fuck am I ?

you turn around only to discover the embodiment of Adonis to your side. A light beam was lighting up Sabo's face. He looked like an angel as his beauty couldn't be that of a human.

Was he always this handsome ?

You didn't know, in fact, you have never had the occasion to wake up in his bed. Wait, in his bed ? This realization came slowly as your head was still foggy from yesterday's consumption.

You looked down, the thing that was pressing against your leg was indeed :

his thing.

You frowned, blushed, pulled away, put a hand on your lips repressing an internal scream, all of this in around three seconds. You then tried to calm down, telling yourself that it was very normal for a man to experience this kind of morning unconviniences, and that Sabo was a man, after all. Even if  you have always seen him as a bestfriend, he was still a man that is capable of physical attraction.

Now that this internal monologue was done with, you felt a bit calmer, but that didn't answer your question. You got out of bed, trying to recall what happened after going in the bar. And it came back. All of it. Without any mercy for your feelings.

You wanted the ground to swallow you whole. Your only wish was to disappear which meant : calling Nami. You headed out of the house, not even having the courage to face your bestfriend.

« Namiiiii -Uh ? What's the matter ? -I fucked up. I fucked up really bad. -Oh yeah ? Tell me about it. -Wait, why do you seem excited ? -O-oh I'm not excited. Come on tell me. What else could you have possibly done ? -I asked Sabo to fuck me. -Wait what ? You could hear Vivi ask Nami about what happened and her answering « She asked Sabo to fuck her ». -Nami ! Don't go on telling everyone about this. I'm on my way. -For starters, Vivi isn't « everyone », she's my girlfriend. And I'm here waiting for you to tell me what happened. -Wait, I'll come at your place. This can't be discussed over the phone. »

You hung up on her. Ten minutes later, you were at her place. Extremely confused. Nami was painting her nails bright red on the bed while Vivi was sitting comfortably on a chair. You let your whole body weight fall on a lounge pug, tourmented.  «-So tell me how you and Sabo ended up fucking. She emphasized the last word in a way that made you almost choke on air.  -We didn't actually. Nami and Vivi both sighed in a synchronized « Ah » of disappointment. -So hmm...I don't remember clearly. I was really drunk-- well that you're aware of and...And Sabo didn't want to leave me alone so we went to his place. Ace was at Thatch's so we were alone. We hugged and he comforted me. Then I started teasing him, and I don't know what I was thinking, but I kissed him, and then I asked him to fuck me. -Wow that escalated quickly. Said Nami as she continued painting her nails.

-Well, I was heartbroken, I needed something, someone, and he was there, and you know Sabo, he's a good guy ! I don't know what's worse, the fact that I asked him to fuck me or the fact that he said no.

-Oh god I'm so so sorry

- Nami please don't make things worse for me.

-No offense, but you're so dense. Sabo has always been into you. Do you want him, or do you not ? I know that going right into a relationship after a breakup is a bad idea. But honestly it's worth giving it a shot. He's a really good guy. Try dating someone nice for once.

-I don't know, he has something unsettling about him. Like « almost too good to be true » you know ? Added Vivi.

-Ohhh~ I see. Honestly, I always thought that he was a bit prude and hella vanilla. I mean, yes, he's my best friend. But he has never talked about girls to me or about sexual stuff. So I just assumed that. I never thought that he'd be packin' like that. You said as you popped a lollipop in your mouth.

-Ah ? Was it really that impressive ? asked Nami, genuinely curious.

-Yeah. On a scale from 0 to doflamingo he's a solid eight point seventy five. (*)

-Oh gosh. I understand why you're so worked up now.

-That's really...precise. Added Vivi, a bit horrified.

(*) [ The dear reader might need this clarification ; Doflamingo was Law's uncle, he sometimes came to pick him up after uni with his luxurious lamborghini. He wore extremely tight pants that left little to the imagination. And he was most known among your clique for having a nine incher. It was a running joke wether to know if Law got his uncle's genes. Needless to say that this joke wasn't to Law's taste. Now back to our adorable Y/N. ]

-So. I really don't know what to do. I am still heartbroken. -And horny. Added the ginger. -Yeah, that too. I'm afraid of ruining our friendship. -Listen dear, said Nami as she was closing the nail polish bottle, if you're not going for it, someone else would. And trust me, that girl Koala is upping her game. She's going to steal him right in front of your eyes, just like this - and she snapped her fingers. -Oh, and then, you can forget about being « best friends ». Said Vivi adding fuel to the fire. -Yeah, once he's gonna start dating, he won't have too much time for you-- and then, that Koala girl, my god, she seems extremely possessive ! -No way, your voice was detached, trying to act is if you weren't worried, Sabo has never dated any girl before.- -Yes but he seems to get along with that girl. And to be honest, she's kinda cute.

-Nami ! Vivi pinched her forearm playfully, pretending to be jealous.

-That hurt ! And don't be jealous, you know that you're my only one~

-Hmm...I prefer that. Vivi laughed. You started caughing reclaiming for their attention.

-Attention please ! We're discussing my dick-appointment here.

-Jesus you're really annoying, (Y/N), just go for it already.

-How much did he pay you to tell me this huh ?

-What ? He didn't pay me ! You're just always getting your heart broken. I'm just trying to be a good friend.

-Say that you are trying to get rid of her~ Jokes Vivi.

-Vivi, don't expose me like this- Nami plays along while laughing.

-I hate you girls ! You say as you throw a pillow on Nami. The ginger starts complaining that you messed her Nail polish, and the whole scene metamorphosed into a pillow fight.

* * *

You spent the whole day with the girls, chit-chatting about boys and girls and playing stupid games. You felt way more comfortable now, less ashamed. However, you were surprised because you didn't get a message from your bestfriend. You wondered wether he was mad at you, it wasn't in his habits.

You decided to message Ace [click for conversation] [ (Y/N) : Heyy amigo is Sabo ok ? Did he tell u smth abt yesterday ? Ace : Ouch, your hurting my feelings, </3 Only talking to me to ask about my brother~ Yea hes okay why tho ? (Y/N) : Ooo kay. He's home ? Ace : He is. Why don't u directly text him ? (Y/N) : Don't tell him I asked. Btw I didn't forget about those 10 bucks you « borrowed » from me. Give it back.] He didn't answer. You sighed and decided to go see Sabo to settle things down. It was the first time that you were embarrassed to see your best friend. You dressed up in a black skirt and t shirt. You didn't usually pay attention to your looks when you went to hang out at Sabo's, but you were really stressed out and what the girls have said about Koala made you scared of losing him. After all, you had some abandonment issues. You had to settle this down once and forever. You arrived at the guy's place, it was an apartment not so far from your own student flat. You knocked on the door and Ace opened : -Ohhh, (Y/N), he whistles, lookin' like a girl today huh ? -What are you implying you dumbass ? Where's Sabo ? -He's in his room with Koala.- -Wait what ? Koala ? What is she doing here ? Ace raised an eyebrow then said amused ; -I don't know, go ask him yourself. -You're useless as usual. -Always so sweet. You on your period or something ? -I didn't forget about my twenty bucks by the way. -I said I'm goin' to pay you back alright ? Now go talk to Sabo. You and Ace were always teasing each other in a brotherly way, but in reality, he really cared for you, it was just your usual way of communication. But it was true that knowing that Koala was in Sabo's room put you in a bad mood. You knocked on the door with a knot in your stomach. Did they start dating ? Was Sabo interested in her ? These ideas were torturing you. But why did you care anyways ? It was none of your business. He could date whoever he wants. You opened the door but there was only Sabo relaxing on his bed, still fully clothed. « - Sabo ?-Oh, (Y/N), what brings you here ? -Why ? Do I need a reason to see my best friend ? He sits on bed looking at you. He doesn't fail to notice your cute outfit, it was different from your usual sweatpants and hoodies, the way it complemented your figure was almost too much for him. Just that sight was driving him insane, but his face didn't betray his emotions, like always, he acted friendly, not an ounce of lust in his dark ebony eyes. You took place next to him. He smelled good, you thought. The same fresh minty smell as last time. Did he always smell this good ? -(Y/N) ?Huh ? Is everything okay ? His voice seemed concerned.He cared for you. And you had those stupid immature and posessive thoughts. Get a grip of yourself, (Y/N), you thought. -Oh yea-- wasn't Koala here ? Ace told me you were with her.

You tried so hard to act like you didn't care, but he knew you like the back of his hand. But still, he played along. -Hmm..Yes. She just left. I was going out as well. He says with a sweet smile, looking at his watch. You couldn't help but make a disappointed face. -But Sabo I wanted to - I'm really sorry (Y/N), let's talk later. He ruffles your hair and you close your eyes as he does so. You felt stressed out. What happened exactly ? You felt intimidated in his presence for the first time. You wanted him to stay and talk this out. It was a bit awkward for you now. You never thought too much. As he was going out of the room you held the fabric of his coat tight in your hand ; -Sabo- -Hum ? Need me to drop you somewhere ? -N-no. You let his sleeve go, realizing what you have just done, I'll stay a bit then go back home. Don't worry about me. -Alright then. See you later ? -Yeah. See ya. ]

You looked at Sabo go away and you followed him shortly after. Meanwhile Ace was sitting on the couch and watching some movies. You went back home and was quite tormented. It wasn't the right time to worry as you had your assignments and studies to deal with. On one hand, you didn't even have the time to think of your ex boyfriend and his cheating but on the other, you felt like you were let down by Sabo. But why ? He didn't do anything. He just found himself a new friend and a potential new girlfriend.

He didn't even talk about her, but why where you so upset by him meeting her ? After all, he had the right to date just like you always did.

A few days have passed and you didn't get the chance to talk to Sabo. Your exams were getting closer and closer and you didn't feel ready.

Usually, Sabo would help you with your assignments but you were too scared to ask. You realized how much you relied on him and how he has been always there for you.

Who were you exactly to him ?

Maybe you took him for granted.

As you were on your bed looking at the ceiling and trying to collect every drop of motivation in your system to study, you heard your phone ring. It was Sabo's ringtone ! ----- Tag list : @vemuabhi @chloe-abbacchio @mwls-garden @soanywaysistartedsimping If you wanna get tagged just ask for it :)

[poison--ivory]

Neji Hyuga/Uchiha!Reader (Modern au)

Warnings: “Guy talk”, cursing, smoking, kissing, and fem. reader 

Domestic fluff with Neji

(Neji’s pov throughout the story)

Neji would be lying if sex didn’t run through his brain every now and then. It was a normal human habit that a lot of people did, but not him. He did manage to masturbate before, however he felt ashamed each time he dug his hand down his pants. He never liked the mess afterwards either. The pain of cleaning everything that he touched, because in his mind he thought someone might come into his room and see the little Neji’s swimming on his headboard or nightstand. Let’s not get started on the nudey magazine Naruto left at his flat, he only looked at it one time before burning it. The two pages stuck together made his skin crawl just knowing that idiot came all over that paper and gods forbid if you saw it and thought he was like Naruto, just wanking off to any material he can find.

To say it in less words, it was a pretty taboo topic for him. Especially, when his dad and uncle heard he got a girlfriend. The tiny sexual remarks were pretty hard to miss whenever his relationship came up. Small jabs at how when they were younger they were pretty sexually active in college and wouldn’t be surprised if their kids were the same. He knows Hinata is pretty sexually active since Naruto is always talking about their sex life. But, him on the other hand was the complete opposite.

If any of the guys started talking about intercourse he’d get uncomfortable. But, neji was in that type of predicament right now and all he felt like doing in that moment was slap the hell out of Naruto for initiating this conversation.

‘A nice night with the boys’ is what Naruto said. Which usually meant him watching them play video games, eat fatty snacks, play drinking games while Shikamaru gets high in the background. However, the only requirement met were the snacks and left a pretty irritated Shikamaru. 

Naruto and Kiba started with their stories, and Neji had to sit through Naruto's raunchy story of how he fucked Hinata on Sasuke’s dorm bed. The noirette boy sitting next to him smacked him on the back of his head. Kiba’s story consisted of him only receiving blow jobs form random girls on campus, they mostly never wanted to have sex since Shino creeps them out. So, they never stayed after the bj. Shikamaru was next and once he was done talking about his personal experience Kiba was quick to jump into action.

“So, when you and Ino were fucking was it better or worse than what Temari does to you?” Kiba asked.

Shikamaru eyebrows creased together, “Well, Ino was pretty good in bed, but she couldn’t give a blow job to save her life. Temari on the other hand swallowed me whole on the first try.” Neji visibly and internally cringed at the thought of some of your girlfriends doing anything sexual. “Just don’t go blabbing to anyone about what I said. Temari still won’t let me go anywhere near third base hell even second base sometimes.” Shikamaru disappeared in the kitchen, snatching a bag from Choji bundle of snacks.

“I can’t promise.” Kiba yelled. Paying close attention to the other black haired boy in the room. Kiba was quick to turn to Sasuke who in return glared back at the smirking Inuzuka. Scooting closer to the Uchiha a smirk appeared on his face.

“What?” Sasuke said, clear annoyance in his voice.

“C’mon, you and Sakura seem buddy, buddy lately and I’m pretty sure she had a limp walking around campus today. No need to be, so secretive, we all know.”  Glancing over at the noirette teen, Neji could tell he was reaching his limit of stupidity for the day.

“Naruto and Shikamaru told their stories, you could at least give us one, indulge us.” Choji rebuked, looming over the kitchen opening. Shikamaru glanced up from his phone for a split second, before shoving his earphones in.

“Maybe some of us don’t want to talk about their sex life right now.” Sasuke snapped back. Kiba jumped back, yet refused to let up.

“Are you mad that your friends are getting some while you're not, didn’t know you were that petty.” Kiba nudged him, which Sasuke evidently shoved back. “Or are you still hung up on your cousin, (Y/n), shagging Neji.” Black eyes filled with anger, blared at the brunette. Yet, the idiot kept going. “She’s pretty innocent, doncha think, just imagining he-” Kiba was interrupted as both fist of Sasuke and Neji collided into Kiba’s sides. Knocking the brown haired boy further on the couch. Sasuke gave him another harsh hit to the shoulder. 

“Don’t you know when to shut up, Kiba.” Neji glowered.

Neji stood up at this point and as he took his leave Sasuke trailed close behind. They both left the blonde haired boy’s house without hesitation. Reaching for his keys in his back pocket he noticed Sasuke just loitering in the yard. If you found out that he just left Sasuke standing there, he’d never hear the end of it. You were always close with your younger cousin and would go to him whenever you guys argued. Turning back around to face the younger Uchiha he asked, “Do you want a ride home? I don’t really care what you pick, I just don’t want (Y/n) thinking any less of me.”

Scoffing, Sasuke moved to the other side of the car and as Neji unlocked the doors the dark haired man quickly sat in the passenger seat. Pulling off Sasuke spoke up, “Mind if I smoke?” Out of the corner of Neji's eye he could make out the square box being waved back and forth.

“Sure, but roll down the window I don’t my car smelling like smoke. (Y/n) would flip.” Neji nodded his head towards the window, his hand automatically rolling all of the windows in the car down. The sound of a lighter flicking rang under the noise of the engine and soon the smell of cigarettes filled the air.

“She gets pretty upset whenever I do it. I quit smoking for about a year, because she didn’t want to see me get lung cancer. But, I got back into the habit a couple of months ago.” He said, and inhaled the thick smoke that blew from his lips, flying out the window soon after.

“She really cares about you, ya know.” Neji mentioned, yet the man sitting next to him remained silent. Sighing Neji kept his gaze on the road, this is going to be a long car ride.

The rest of the car ride was pretty silent, well it wasn’t really a surprise since both of the men in the car are pretty solitary people. It didn’t take too long for him to drop Sasuke off at his family’s house, not giving Neji a proper ‘thank you’, he settled for a two finger salute as he walked up the stairs. Neji pulled out and headed straight for his place, you and Neji moved in together your senior year of college. He grew accustomed to your habits pretty leisurely, not that he minded them, well maybe he hated the way you did dishes or ate really unhealthy foods. But, he never voiced out loud with you, like how you never told him off for his out of nowhere belching.  

As his car pulled up in the driveway he took notice of your car parked on the street. You always gave him the driveway, he didn’t really complain about it though. He couldn’t help, but pay close attention to the way he nearly skipped several steps to open the front door. Swinging the hard wood wide open Neji slipped his shoes off before adventuring further down the hall. You were usually watching whatever crap you listened to whenever you came home, however you didn’t seem to be in the living room. Feeling worn down, Neji opted to take a quick nap, this day left him feeling heavy. Lead feet trudged up each stair, feeling his feet getting heavier with each step.

Reaching the master bedroom Neji stared down at the curvy figure laying on the bed sheets. (Y/n) laid still on the only sign of life was her soft breathing sounding through the silent room. Laying over Neji sat himself on the comforter, scooching closer to your body. His toned arms pushed under your limbs, bringing you in closer for a soft hug. A kiss planted on your cheek, he finally closed his eyes.

“Love you, (Y/n).” He whispered.

Smiling, you held onto his thick forearms, “I love you, too Neji.”

[ephemerlskies]

constant craving | jjk

⇢ pairing: jungkook x reader

⇢ genre: drabble series, angst, unrequited love, idiot!jungkook, idiot!oc, basically everyone's an idiot

⇢ word count: 1.7k

⇢ warnings: unreciprocated pining, explicit language, themes of hopeless romanticism (!!), (slightly) unedited

⇢ summary: your best friend decided to confide in his best friend on how to win his girlfriend back after a fight. you tell him exactly what to say to her, however he is unaware that what you were saying was a sincere delivery of your once undeclared love.

♪ playlist: constant craving - k.d. lang, bad religion - frank ocean, misunderstood - lucky daye, neu roses - daniel caesar ♪

╰ series index: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 (final)

a/n: hello my little loves!! this was definitely ;) not ;) an impulse write and release ;) ;) sorry for being so inactive lately. i've been focusing on myself (i know how cliche that sounds but it's true). anyway, enjoy this incredibly angsts fic i wrote at 2 am for absolutely no reason at all other than i'm an emotional sadist and a masochist. love u!!!! <3

part one: control

He was coming over for the third time this week. Third time. Three times is two more times than he'd gone over his girlfriend's house, but you did everything in your power to convince your inconvincible heart that it meant nothing. Friends see each other more than their girlfriends, right?

It was making a racket in your chest, that muscle that strained much harder for a man who had his pumping for the girl of his dreams.

But, he was coming over for the third time this week.

The first time he said this visit ranked, in his words, 'out of the question' on the degree of necessary that he come over and show you Star Wars. You played a good game of reluctance when asking if it was the entire series or just one movie, and in your head, you hoped to God it was the entire series. For him, you'd watch the series four times over if it meant you sat through this outrageously nerdy movie next to the even more outrageously nerdy love of your life.

The second time was particularly funny to you. He called while you were cooking dinner, almost as if he was in stride with you in a way that was an ounce too synchronized to be platonic, and asked if you were whipping up a delicious meal that he could mooch off of. Knowing he was a terrible cook, plus the fact that when he begged so politely you felt your posture unbind into to a puddle, you more than happily obliged.

This time, the circumstances made it harder to say yes, but not yet impossible. And it was a second or two before you heard that knock on the front door that had your once pounding heart come to a complete halt. It was still, waiting for you to make a decision.

Since it was Jungkook, of course, you'd say yes. And your heart would continue beating. Beating, as in sending sharp jabs that stained the inside of your chest with bruises. Beating, as in when the time came, the final blow of your constantly craving heart would devastate your entire being.

"Thank you so much, ___. God, I'm such an idiot." He walked in with all the confidence of someone who was a bit too familiar with your company. Jungkook's feet reintroducing themselves to your floors in the same manner as he would the night before, and the night before that, and the countless nights you kept secured in your collection of memories. As if he belonged there; as if he was coming home.

"An idiot with a great friend." That last word nearly withdrew the bile you had been ever so gracefully holding in.

"Yeah yeah." And he was comfortable with that same word, 'friend', that deepened your bruises into scars. He had absolutely no clue. Idiot. "I can't believe I broke up with her. I was so angry and acted on that instead of logic. Fuck, why would I do that to myself? I love her."

"Well, you never know. Maybe..." You hated yourself for not resisting the selfish temptation that was about to fall from your lips. The words you've been internally screaming to him to leave her and fall in love with you instead were diluted to something much more tame when your tongue formed them into sound.

"Maybe it was for the best. Maybe you guys are better off apart? To, um, grow or whatever."

"No." He said that with too much certainty and too little hesitance and just enough conviction to sink another wound in the organ exhausting itself in your chest. "She's the one. I know it"

"Jungkook."

He looked at you with all the earnestness of a man who carved his utmost and unchanging dedication to her. A look that any love-induced sap would kill for. A look he would never direct towards you.

Your eyes weren't under your control as of now. The glue that held them to his eyes, his lips, his hair, and every other part of him you dreamed of was more than a marathoned yearning. It was an adhesive twelve years in the making, not showing the slightest sign of wearing away.

"The way you love is something to die for..." And then he smiled at you, but still not for you.

You were utterly crushed.

"She'll take you back in a heartbeat. I mean, she has a brain, so of course, she will. Anyone would."

I would.

"I hope you're right." The couch was four feet wide at most, but there was an impressively vast space between you and the man who was sitting next to you. "Can you tell me what to say? You know I suck with words."

"Uh... Yeah. Of course. Anything."

If breaking hearts were a crime, then Jungkook would have much to atone for. You'd be convicted as a willing accomplice for holding on this long. Up until this point, you've let every small glance, every shy smile he sent your way, every eyebrow twitch conveying a meaning only you knew well enough to retrieve him from whatever awkward situation he needed rescuing from, every accidentally brush of his hand against yours, every purposeful embrace that lasted so long your tears stained his right shoulder string you into a knot of miserable, unrequited love.

And up until this point, you had hope he would choose you.

Each ring of his phone worked in tandem to reduce your undying devotion to Jungkook into a compressed seed of denial.

I don't love him. He's just my best friend.

Your pulse pronounced itself loudly in your ears, as a not-so-gentle reminder of how much you hated him for loving him. Somehow, your heart beat faster. Then again, anything was possible when it came to him. Anything except the miraculous event of him hanging up, declaring his love for you, and living in the land of happily ever after that only existed in your deluded imagination.

"Hey Irene! I'm so fucking glad you picked up."

He gave you that look. With the arched eyebrow, his widened doe eyes, and the slightly hung jaw, you read each feature better than words and nodded to signal you knew exactly what he needed.

"I'm sorry about what happened." You said, in a whisper, though the deflated volume of your words carried no implication of the unbridled sincerity sealed in them.

"I'm sorry about what happened." He repeated, laying down that same Irene-contrived smile on you that fostered a smile of your own, knowing fully it surfaced as a reflex from hearing her voice.

"It might be crazy to try this, because I don't know how you feel."

If the thing people say about your life flashing before your eyes during encounters with death, then you were sure your heart was about to consume its last pulse of blood. The scenes of you and Jungkook spending your Friday nights when you were a ripe city dweller in your shoebox apartment doing everything and nothing at all had convinced you that you were certainly about to go into cardiac arrest.

"It might be crazy to say this, because I don't know how you feel." Jungkook was so many things, however emotionally perceptive was not one of them.

"But I love you. I have loved you since the moment I met you." Those words tasted sweet despite fermenting in a chamber of your heart you kept preserved since, as you said, the very moment you met him.

"But I love you. I have loved you since the moment I met you."

"No matter what, I'd choose you. It doesn't matter how mad I am or how annoyed I am, I will choose you because if I know anything in this damn, cruel, punishing world, then I know that I'd rather be angry, annoyed, or anything else with you than without you."

He repeated your words, but dehydrated all of your sentiment from them. You were left with the remnants of the feelings, and none of the words from him you were so desperately starved of. He took them right from your throat, along with the very breath that seemed to keep returning because of Jungkook, molded them into his own, into a sequence of sounds that were meant for Irene. You were left hungry, breathless, and forever wanting.

"No matter what, I'd choose you. It doesn't matter how mad I am or how annoyed I am, I will choose you because if I know anything in this damn, cruel, punishing world, then I know that I'd rather be angry, annoyed, or anything else with you than without you."

Irene must have been smiling right about now. Who wouldn't smile hearing those things from someone like Jungkook?

"Because with you, I'm complete. My story can't end if I'm incomplete. Please, choose me back. Complete me. That's all I ask."

Then, you began to ask yourself another question.

If you make me complete, Jungkook, will my story ever end?

You knew the answer to that. You swore your heart beat in a morse code that told you everything you needed to know.

"Because with you, I'm complete. My story can't end if I'm incomplete. Please, choose me back. Complete me. That's all I ask."

Jungkook looked to you, before Irene could form the proper response, and smiled. It was the third time he smiled at you today because of course, you were keeping track. You knew it was his own physically linguistic version of a 'thank you' or a 'you're a life saver' but somehow, to you, it translated to something similar to a 'goodbye'.

Your legs miraculously rose and carried you to the back porch. The sun was just beginning to dip in the horizon, proliferating a warm orange that was about to subside to an indistinguishable and unpredictable dusk. Whatever color came after the sunset, you were ready to accept it, to memorize how it reflected against a world without the possibility of him. And even though the night will always embody undertones of orange, it was time to focus on the colors around it.

It was time to let go.

a/n: i might make this into a drabble series!!! if anyone would be interested in that please let me know :)) thank you for readinggggg <3

[madzfm]

˛ ⠀ * ⠀ ★ ⠀  JESSICA ALEXANDER  .   CIS FEMALE  .  SHE / HER      ⧽ ⠀ have  you  seen  the  786  latest  post  ?  sources  say  they  have  some  serious  dirt  on  the  child  of  a  big  time   COUNTRY MUSIC STARS  .   they  haven’t  revealed  who  it was  yet  but  my  best  is  on  MADISON  DARLING  !  ever  since  that  last  update  about  how  she  ALLEGEDLY GOT CAUGHT SPORTING A BABY BUMP LAST YEAR BEFORE GHOSTING EVERYONE  i  don’t  put  anything  pass  them  .  i  mean  ,  these  celebrity  kids  are  just  out  of  control  .   they  do  whatever  they  want  ,  whenever  they  want  and  are  ungrateful  in  the  process  !!  i  mean  take  MADDIE  for  example  ,  they’re  a  TWENTY THREE  year  old  DANCER  ,  and  what  did  they  do  to  get  there  ?  have  famous  parents  !  like  hello  ,  just  because  you HAVE BEEN IN MUSIC VIDEOS WITH A-LIST MUSICIANS doesn’t  mean  you  actually  deserved  it  .   i’m   glad   the   786   is   taking   them   down   a   notch   .   it’s   about   time   someone   does   .

             𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐆𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐂  /  𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓  / 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

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hey ... hey ... how y’all doin’ ?  i’m sooo excited to be here , besties ! sorry i’m late with the intro , it’s been a looooong weekend for me but i’m eager to get the ball rolling . so here’s the rundown , the google doc has a full bio + more stats + headcanons but i don’t expect anyone to actually read all that nonsense so i’ve tried my best to sum it up below ( it’s still kinda long tho i’m sorry y’all i ramble too much ). i’m always down to talk plots & threw a few wanted connection ideas at the bottom , so feel free to hmu on discord any time <3 but yes okay let’s get into it

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━━     ˊ     *     𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬  . .

𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞. madison dallas darling .   𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞(𝐬). maddie , mads .   𝐝𝐨𝐛. april 14 , 1998 .   𝐚𝐠𝐞. twenty - three .   𝐳𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜. aries sun , libra moon , leo asc .   𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫. cis female .   𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬. she / her .   𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. bisexual .  𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞. nashville , tn .   𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. 5ft 5in .  𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. high school diploma .   𝐨𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. dancer / realty tv personality .   𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬. robert “robbie” darling - father . dixie darling - mother . delaney darling - sister .   𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬. compassionate , imaginative , family-oriented  , devoted , generous , sympathetic , idealistic , self critical , naive , competitive , indecisive , impressionable , elusive , sensitive .

━━     ˊ     *     𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲 . .

tw : things like shitty controlling parents , injury , & pregnancy are mentioned

   born & raised in nashville , tennessee , madison is the daughter of two country music icons ( basically blake shelton & miranda lambert ) & has only ever known a life in the spotlight . her parents were a widely adored it couple who shared their lives with millions of viewers across the world with their reality tv show . at 7pm cst you could tune in to watch robbie & dixie raise their two daughters - having some good ol’ wholesome family fun while juggling responsibilities that come with being famous artists . to any outsider looking in , they seemed like the perfect family . a loving father , a supportive mother , two prim & proper daughters that collected accolade after accolade in every pageant & talent competition they ever entered . but you shouldn’t believe everything you see on tv , even if it’s deceptively labeled as “reality” .

   when the cameras weren’t rolling , the darling sisters were left under their mother’s restrictive control . dixie darling treated her daughters more like dolls than living beings , madison & delaney were basically pretty little accessories . while robbie never dared to mistreat his daughters , he was around a lot less than the show made it seem - often touring the world rather than spending quality time with his girls . plus , dixie & robbie seemed to endlessly fight with one another - nearly every childhood memory madison has of her parents involves them yelling . if she wanted to see them looking happy & in love , she’d have to tune in to the fabricated reality on their own show to get a taste of what a happy , loving family looks like . 

   you can’t be a child of dixie darling without being exploited in some way . while delaney was pushed into the music scene , madison was shoved into the world of dance . she took every class that was offered & practiced for hours upon hours to perfect her craft . her sister had taken after their folks with the singing voice of an angel & the looks to rival that of miss universe , meanwhile maddie was good for two things : dance & doing whatever her mother said . so when dixie said to twirl , she twirled , when she said do a grand jeté, maddie asked how high & then over performed like the good little girl she was trained to be .

   it wasn’t until her parents got divorced & maddie moved to miami to be with her sister , her father , & her father’s new girlfriend that she sort of came out ( or more accruately described as dragged out ) of her timid , non - confrontational , subservient shell . with a longer leash , she had more freedom to roam far & wide . no one tried to tell her what to do or who to talk to & considering she was just a privileged teenager with endless funds & the status to get away with just about anything , you can imagine how badly that went . every mistake she made was broadcasted onto people’s televisions or headlined in tabloids . it was stressful , growing up & messing up all under the watchful gaze of millions of people who felt entitled to berate her for her poor life decisions . just because they watched her grow up on tv didn’t mean they actually knew anything about her . & yet so many people shared their unsolicited opinions on her & her life . it drove her insame .

   maddie wasn’t handling the stress of being well known very well . she wanted a break from it all , to just go somewhere far away where no one knew her name & just live by herself . it was a silly dream . nothing she’d ever actively pursue . but the universe has a funny way of giving us a taste of what we think we want just to teach us a lesson . 

   so over a year ago , maddie found out that she was pregnant . it was a shock to say the least . she kept it a close guarded secret from everyone but her sister for awhile . not only was it a life changing development , but it was one thing that she was determined not to share with the rest of the world . with the idea of running away in continuous loop in the back of her mind , she came up with a plan to buy herself some time . she faked a really bad injury during a performance & let the media run with saying she might not be able to walk , let alone dance ever again . pushing the cover story even further , she claimed to be in need of intense physical therapy & sought after it in a luxurious private lodge in new zealand . that’s where she stayed during her year away , letting no outsiders come visit while she figured out how she was going to move forward with this baby growing inside of her .

   so maddie finally got the break she was looking for even if it wasn’t under the circumstances that she would’ve liked . but she adapted to the situation . in her time away , she went through the entire pregnancy but it was basically decided for her by her parents that it was best to give the baby up for adoption . the little girl would be in good care by a couple that was a family friend of the darlings . better to bless someone who wanted a baby but couldn’t have one than for maddie to keep her daughter when she wasn’t in a place to take care of her . it broke her heart , honestly . she had grown quite attached to the baby & even entertained the idea of being a single mom even though she knew her own mom would never let that happen - it would go against the strict narrative that they try to put out there about the darling family .

   after a year away , maddie is back in miami without anyone knowing what really happened . she keeps using the “injury” as the excuse for her absence from the spotlight . anyone really close to her might be able to tell that something’s off , but she’s trying so hard to act like everything is fine & nothing has changed at all . she might even be able to get away with her lies - if it wasn’t for that damn 786 website threatening to spill the tea & make her life hell .

━━     ˊ     *     𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 & 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 . .

   a wannabe good girl gone bad but harbors a deep rooted fear of being a disappointment & a failure due to her mom’s strict parenting style . so like she wants to be rebellious & come across as carefree but internally she’s panic screaming always ( honestly relatable like same , girl )

   well - mannered in a sweet southern belle kind of way with her please’s & thank you’s & calling everyone ma’am & sir out of respect & what not

   biiiig mom friend energy . she just wants to make sure that everyone is taken care of . she can get very protective & a little helicopter parent-y with her friends . it probably has something to do with control issues that she doesn’t realize she has but we don’t have time to unpack that rn akjsdbk

   before her year away i want to say that she was a lot more people please-y / overly eager to please ?? like rarely said no to people that asked for favors , always agreed to any plans people invited her to out of courtesy , & what have you . but now i see her as being a little less patient than before & a little bit more unhinged & quick to shut down or snap

   guillable ! naive ! dumb as hell ! believes that everyone was raised with the same values as her & has a big of a heart like she does so she’s easily subjectable to getting her feelings hurt & i say let it happen !!

   wants to be mysterious so bad but there is very little known about her & her life that isn’t public knowledge . she could get shit on by a bird & it’ll probably become a twitter highlight idk she just wants to believe she’s imperceptible & acts all evasive in order to keep her private life private but that rarely ever has the desired effect

    one of those annoying rich & famous people that’s like “i wasn’t meant to be famous . i was meant to have a normal life & be a normal person” but like !! she is actually so out of touch with reality & probably couldn’t tell you how much milk is at the grocery store because she has people to do mundane day to day things for her . spoiled little privileged rich girl , let’s be real . her dad tried to keep her humble , idk what happened

   dance style / career is pretty much inspired by maddie ziegler but also not really bc i am very picky & choosey about which aspects of her career i’m pulling from

   boring on social media because she hardly ever posts & is very short with her captions & tweets when she does make an appearance online every blue moon 

   dodges questions about what she’s been up to while she was gone like she’s in the matrix or something . all that pr training her mom put her through when she was younger is coming in handy because she has not given a single honest , straight answer in the months she’s been back . would rather talk about anything else than herself right now so don’t be surprised if she pulls some random subject changes out of her ass if people get nosy . i’m sure the common conspiracy is that maddie was so embarrassed by the fall on stage that she went into hiding 

   delaney is the kim kardashian & britney spears of the family while madison is the kourtney & the jamie lynn xoxo

━━     ˊ     *     𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 . .

ride or die , bad influence , frenemies , family friends , good influence , confidant , rival , girl squad , non judging breakfast club , childhood friend , unlikely friend , exes on good terms , exes on bad terms , neighbors , pr friendship , pr enemy , social media mutuals , party buddies , secret friend , secret hook - up , crush , friends with benefits , adventure buddy , enemy with benefits , dance partners , mentors , mentees , sibling like relationship , will they won’t they , people suspicious of her & her supposed “injury” , father of her baby 👀 jk ..... unless

[amelialincoln]

Can you write something where Amelia goes into labor

Good Days pt 2

Amelia was in the middle of surgery when she felt the first braxton hicks contraction that was pushing on something more. She’d been having them for days now and had forgotten how impressively strong some could get. Her first one had caused her to drop an entire thermos of tea all over the carpet of the attending’s lounge in shock. It took her two more days to actual mention to Link that they were happening. The discussion of whether Amelia should be working this far into her pregnancy was up for constant debate and she watched with amusement as he pleaded for her to stop operating. She did settle for shorter surgeries though. Nothing more than four hours which put her at an unsatisfyingly small workload. It had shut Link up though, which she appreciated. Her poor boyfriend seemed to be in constant fear that the baby would just fall right out. With how long the braxton hicks were continuing on for, Amelia was sure she’d be in for a long delivery.

She wasn’t able to escape the little moan of pain that escaped her lips when her first contraction hit. Yes, a normal contraction, she couldn’t make any exceptions now. To her annoyance she was operating with Link and she could hear his instruments clatter on top of the surgical table as he made his way from the patient's leg towards her.

“I’m fine,” she forced out, as the wave of pain began to leave her system.

“You’re not,” Link argued, placing a gloved hand on her lower back and pressing firmly until the rest of the pain subsided. Amelia straightened up, trying to conceal how much he’d actually helped her. Classic Link to have done his research, it’s not like they had time for birthing classes. “I’m calling Addison.” He got her with that one. She’d rather have Addison here in time than finish a simple aneurysm but calling Addison meant shit was getting real and she wasn’t sure if she was ready.

“Fine,” Amelia shrugged her shoulders casually, despite the couple whispering back and forth she could tell that everyone in the OR was listening to their conversation. “You wanted her here days ago.” “Cause that’s what we discussed. She said as soon as you started having braxton hicks that she’d get on a plane.” Link waited for a response, studying his very pregnant girlfriend careful and realizing she was internally freaking out. “You didn’t tell her did you.”

“Pregnancy brain?” Amelia tried. “I was getting contractions and braxton hicks confused, sorry.”

“Sorry?” He was beginning to get upset.

“Just let me finish here, if I have another contraction I’ll leave the OR but there’s only an hour left and it’s not going to happen.” She knewLink knew that she was right. Her braxton hicks were always largely spaced out and she could potentially not contract again for hours and where would that leave them? Sitting in a OB room waiting for Amelia to slowly dilate? No thanks.

“Fine,” Link sighed, exiting the OR to rescrub. “Get Dr. Montgomery on the phone,” he ordered to his intern.

Amelia realized she fucked up when a contraction came full force forty-five minutes later. She abruptly staggered away from the surgical field and doubled over in pain. It was Bohkee who slid a wheelchair under her without a hesitation. Amelia knew she was accepting defeat if she sat in that chair and faltered for a second before Link’s strong arms wrapped around her and practically forced her down into it. He’d finished fifteen minutes ago but remained in the OR, boring holes with his eyes into Amelia’s back. She didn’t know why it was so hard for her to come to terms with being in early labor. Perhaps she wasn’t prepared for the reality of being a mom. That thought hurt almost as much as the contraction that was lasting a lot longer than she remembered.

“Holy shit,” she found herself muttering as Link knelt down to her eyeline.

“You sure you don’t want to finish?” A smile played on his lips.

“Fuck off,” she managed to get out, trying to downplay the spider like pain that was wrapping itself around her abdomen. She took a couple of haggard breaths before she felt the pain slowly start to subside. Her fingertips soothed her rock hard bump as Link wheeled her out of the OR. “I’m officially humiliated,” she mumbled.

“That’s your fault, babe,” he chuckled to her annoyance.

“Can you just be on my side right now?” She pleaded as he lifted her into the bed of the room they’d been assigned. “I know I screwed up. With Addie and the…” she trailed off.

“Overexertion?” He moved to sit on the edge of the bed and rubbed protective circles over her stomach.

“You won’t catch me apologizing for working.” She crossed her arms awkwardly in emphasis. Link sighed and decided not to argue.

“Addison is on her way. Her plane leaves in half an hour so she should be here in three hours tops.”

“That’s a long time,” Amelia whined. Link didn’t have to remind her that it was her fault.

“How long was your last labor?” He asked, trying to distract her.

“Twenty-two hours.” She shrugged as if it were nothing. “Some women labor for like three days,” she said in response to his wide eyed expression.

“Right.” Link couldn’t imagine watching Amelia in pain for that long. The two contractions and the multiple braxton hicks over the last couple of days had him uncomfortable enough. He hadn’t been sure what to do. The lower back pressure point had seemed to be helpful but other than that he wasn’t sure how to help her. “Do you want me to go to the cafeteria? I can get you cake or those chips you like? Whatever you--”

“Link,” Amelia interrupted, “the only thing I want is for you to be here with me. I didn’t have that last time and it killed me. If I get mad at you and tell you to leave, which I’m warning you might happen, please don’t listen. I just want you to hold me and…” she trailed off as another contraction came on. To his surprise she got to her feet and began pacing, her eyes squeezed shut in concentration as she cursed softly. Nothing Link had read online had prepared him for this level of helplessness.

“What can I--”

“Shh,” she begged. The contraction seemed to continue on longer than she expected and she ended up kneeling beside the patient bed with her head in her forearms. “Can you do the back thing?” “Mhmm.” He nodded and moved behind her, putting firm pressure on her lower back. Her reaction was almost immediate, letting a moan of relief escape her lips. Link pressed kisses to the back of her neck, grateful that there was something he could do to help.

“You and your determined swimmers, Atticus Lincoln.” He could tell the contraction had passed when her quivering finally ended.

“I’m sorry,” was all he could think of to say. He pulled back sweaty pieces of her hair into a knot and secured them with the elastic band around her wrist.

“You’re in it for the long run now,” she told him. Link wasn’t sure whether she was referring to their child or the long process of bringing him into this world. Either way, as much as it scared him, he couldn’t wait.

sorry idk why all my fics r so short rn hope u like

[the-whitewolfie]

Breaking with The Order // F.W.

Summary: After losing your parents you and your much younger sister were on your own. You couldn’t leave her without you. So you had to break with The Order, and break with him, to keep yourself and your sister safe.

Word Count: 2k

Warning: Angst

You gave your little sister a tight hug before leaving her with your sweet neighbour from a few doors down. The mission should go smoothly, however, it might take all evening, so this was your best bet, seeing as you couldn’t leave her at home on her own, and you most definitely couldn’t bring her along. 

You walked into the house on Privet Drive with Fred alongside you. Your hand in his. Stood beside him as Mad-eye went over the details of tonight's event.

"None of us really fancy it, mate. Imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as specky, scrawny gits forever!"

Amongst the pressing situation Fred still managed to make you chuckle. However you cringed when you watched him take a sip of the polyjuice potion as he instantly turned more and more into Harry Potter.

With his broomstick in hand he leant in for a kiss. You pushed him away with a light hand to his chest, not allowing his lips or was it Harry's lips to touch yours. It all seemed too real. “Not when you’re like this. I’ll gladly kiss you when we land safely at the Burrow and you’re back to being just Fred”. 

“I’ll take you up on that darling”. He sent you a crooked smile, although it didn’t have quite the same effect on you, when he was like this. He mounted his broomstick, and you yours as you sent him a look that radiated the sheer nervousness you felt, pleading for him to be okay.

Things went south. All the way to the Burrows it was one curse after the other. You’d nearly fell off the broom six or seven times, and just missed Bellatrix’s attempts to kill quite a few.

Back at the Burrows you ran into the house. He had to be here by now. You went in, your eyes immediately went to the couch. Internal panic hit in the instant it took you to recognize the bleeding ginger to be George and not Fred. He was crouched beside him. 

Locking distraughtly around, you could see the cuts and small wounds on everyone's faces.

“Mad-eye is dead,” said Bill, the oldest Weasley brother.

This was all too much. 

“I can’t. I..” you backed away in a hurry, out of the house. Running for a bit and apparated to outside your apartment. You went in, slid down against the door, sobbing with tears streaming down your face. Thankful that your neighbour was taking care of you sister for the night, so she didn’t have to see you like this.

“Where’s y/n?” panic seeped through him, the moment he turned away from his bleeding twin brother. “Where is she?!”

“She was just here” Ron turned to look in the direction where he’d seem you. 

“and you couldn’t keep an eye on her, could you?”

Ron gestured to his brother on the couch. “Seems there were more pressing matters, than looking after your girlfriend! Who by the way made it here safely”

Fred ran out, the rest of the order hot on his heels. “Y/N!” “Y/N!!”

There was no reply. Outside of the Burrow was completely quiet, except for him screaming your name as he ran frantically around in search of you. With fast strides he ran inside, to his own bedroom, losing faith when he didn’t hear any sounds even as he got closer.

You weren’t there

“Where is she?” His loud voice cracking at the end. He had to find you. He pushed past every one of the others. The next moment he was by your house. The loud determined knocking, made you scurry away from the door, wand in hand for protection.

“y/n! darling are you here?”. he had to be yelling on the other side of the door, seeing as the volume was quite high, even inside your apartment. 

The banging continued. You raised your wand to open the door for him, and he leapt inside. The look of relief was prominent on his features.

“You promised me a kiss babe”.

Even before he could send that crooked smile, he had tried to earlier. The initial shock of the possible intruder left your body, and you broke down onto the floor, your cheeks stained with waterfalls of tears. He went to your side in an instant, clutching you to his chest as you cried and cried and cried, till the both of you were merely sobbing.

“I can’t do this” your sorrow filled eyes looked at him. “I can’t put my life at risk like that- My baby sister needs me”. You got up and paced across the kitchen floor. He got up and approached you “no-” holding out your arm to tell him to remain distant. 

“Babe, it’s alright. I’m not asking you to keep being a part of this”. He took a step forward, and you a step backwards.

“and I can’t stay at home waiting for you to come, not knowing if today is the day you don’t”

“You know I can’t abandon The Order. It’s my family I’m trying to protect them” the physical distance leaving him slightly nauseous, the emotional distance however was unbearable.

“As am I, Fred” you backed away again when he tried to reach you “we can’t stay together. My heart couldn’t bear it.”

“What?” You didn’t think he could look anymore sorrowful than just before, but the change was apparent. “Don’t do this y/n. I love you”

“And I love you Fred. That’s why we can’t continue on.” He stepped towards you again. “Don’t!” Your eyes locked on his. “You need to go”.

“I won’t leave you like this, let me sta-“.

“No Fred. It’ll only make it harder. Please go now” once again the tears were pouring from your eyes. His as well.

He gave a final plea with his eyes to which you turned around. It would be easier not to see him go. “Take care y/n” he whispered.

You heard the door shut behind him.

Immediately going under the covers only to stay under them for what seems like days. If it hadn’t been for your sister, you would have stayed there forever.

Fred came back home pale as a ghost, tears still staining his cheeks.

“Oh dear. You didn’t find her? We’ll search-”. He interrupted his mother “She bloody ended it between us”. He dragged his feet across the living room and up the stairs to his room, followed by the eyes of his twin, who was still on the couch and his mother who too started to sob when she realised her son's major heartbreak.

3 years years later:

The excitement was displayed with her whole body. Your sister had recently gotten her Hogwarts acceptance letter and bounced up and down as the two of you strolled through Diagon Alley for her school essentials.

You’d avoided this street for obvious reasons, but this was the only place that allowed for you to get every supply she needed. Hoping so much she wouldn’t pay attention to his store.

“That’s Fred!” She pointed to the tall statue outside his shop. And there he was, a very visual reminder of the man you had lost those years ago. You keep forgetting that your little sister lost him too on the night you told him to leave. She kept asking for him, when he missed dinner the next Thursday nights or asking when he’d stop by, until you had to tell her that he wasn't coming back to you. You’d lie if you said you hadn’t thought about him since, you had even asked Hermione about him when you ran into her about a year ago, shocked to hear he almost didn’t make it through the war. 

“Can we go in? Do you think he still sells those funny-“

“Not today sweetheart. We have quite many things we need to get from your list”. It wouldn’t be fair to him to turn up out of the blue and what would you even say. You took one last look at the giant figure of your previous lover, before heading towards the first shop, arm in arm with your now not as content sister. 

After a while you carried a stack of books and on top of those a big birdcage with an astonishingly looking great grey owl inside. Not being able to see much, but wanting to help with the heavy lifting.

“FRED!” your sister squealed and ran off. Oh no. Although your eyes still searched for him through the bars of the cage and through the crowd. You spotted his ginger hair towering over seemingly everybody, with your sister now wrapped around his torso. He picked her up and spun her around. “I’ve missed you sweetheart”. He looked around for you, in the direction your sister had attacked him from, and saw you there behind the birdcage. Instantly coming to your aid, taking it in his hands. “That looks like Errol”. 

“She picked her out herself. We’re still trying to figure out a name for her”. You looked into his eyes now for the first time in those three years. Small talk felt awfully shallow at a time like this. “Maybe I can help with a name. Give me that Fred” Ginny was at his side, you had only noticed now. “We’ll be just over in the shop if you don't mind?” you shook your head all the while, your eyes stayed on him and Ginny went to the shop with your sister.

“It’s good to see you darling”

“You too. I’m glad you’re okay. I heard what happened during the war...”

His hand reached forward for you arm. A simple gesture.

“Let’s not talk about that now. I’m here aren't I?”

“I’m sorry” you took his hand in yours “about what happened between us”.

“Don’t be darling. I don’t blame you for nothing. However my mom took it hard. I did too”

You looked down. Your hand falling from his.

“Hey y/n, it’s alright. My mother would never blame you either, she probably blames me the most. She usually does” He scrunched his nose but you knew he was telling the truth. He really did get the blame a lot in the Weasley household. Although perhaps with good reasoning. And thankfully his joking nature changed the atmosphere a bit.

“Will you give her my regards? She’s family after all. She’ll always be family to me” This made him smile. Like a madman even. His eyes crinkled. “She’ll be so happy to hear from you”.

“Y/N, FRED! I named her Opal. Think I’ll call her buttercup though” You sister came running referring to the owl. Ginny in tow. 

“See I like that sweetheart. Am I allowed to send you a letter every now and again?” When your sister nodded eagerly, his eyes went to yours for your approval. You gave him a smile. How could you not.

“And you y/n. Am I allowed to send you a letter”. He left you breathless with his hopeful eyes. You nodded slowly. “Assuming you don't send letters to any other women currently.”

“I don’t”

“Good”

“Listen I have to go back” he gestured to the shop “it’s our busiest time of year, and I left poor George alone in charge”.

“I’ll cover for you!” Ginny said quickly. “I know my way around the store and I can easily do the register. Angelina is there too, I recon she’d willingly help our dear Georgie out as well” She looked at you. “Maybe I could be accompanied by your sister?”.

“Please I haven’t been there in so long!” Your sister said “I know you said-”

“Sure you can!” You hurried your answer, not wanting Fred to know you actually did try to avoid bumping into him in the first place.

You looked to Fred. Who was beaming, and thanking his sister a million times in his head. “Sure. Thanks Ginny” Now onto you “Would you fancy grabbing lunch with me then. We’re both free now aren’t we?”.

[babyhyuuga]

girlfriend?

sasuke x fem!reader kiba x fem!reader

a/n: this idea came to me while i was trying to sleep and kind of "dreamed it" so i decide to write it down. just in case i clarify that the arc of sasuke wanting revenge doesn't happen here, he's not like a happy sasuke but no the "i must kill itachi" one either. that being said i hope you enjoy and feel free to comment anything you want.

summary: the konoha 12 (and you) decide to have fun and drink a little at ino's but you seeing your ex was kind of a drag, so you're friend decido to help you and maybe you start liking that help.

warnings: swear words, a little angsts

Ino was really nice for doing this, her parents were out in a mission and you guys were under a lot of stress lately because it was the moment of thinking of becoming jounins, the most part of the group passed, a little part already were, and a little part failed and were still chunnin, so a little party at the Yamanaka's was a good idea for everyone.

The ones who passed were celebrating and the ones who didn't just forgot about it while the bottle of sake were getting emty.

The 13 of you were there, Sakura, Hinata and Tenten were sitting at the table laughing out loud about something Tenten just said, Naruto, Kiba, Lee were dancing in a really weird and funny way, with Akamaru barking happy along them. Shikamaru, Choji and Shino we're talking in the door of the backyard. Everyone with a glass of sake in hand (except Lee for obvious reasons) some were more full like Neji's, and some were more emty, like Kiba's.

You were sitting in the couch, glass half empty, you were really happy for becoming a jounin, but you're mind couldn't stop thinking what happened before that, Sasuke, you're boyfriend for a hole year, flirting with some random kunoichi you didn't know, grabbing her by her waist and faces really close together. That awful feeling you had on your stomach, and the heartache from being betrayed, it feels like that will never go away, you love that shinobi so much and he just went and broke your heart.

Of course in that time you swallow all your sadness and broke up with him right there, but the crying went out the second you turn around and run home.

There you were now, Sasuke with the back on the wall starting at you and your eyes on the cup trying not to make contact with his.

When you suddenly feel the body weight of some other person sitting by your side on the couch, and Akamaru going to lay down at your feets.

"y/n" you heard Kiba's voice and turned your face to see him

"Mhm?" you get to say, he look at your sad face, then look to Sasuke, he get it

"Fight or-?"

"Break up" you cut him

"I'm sorry" he said, even if it wasn't his fault, an even if he wasn't sorry at all

"Don't be, it was for the best"

"He must be really stupid for get a girl like you go" you smiled at little at his words

"Don't know if i'm that good anyway" you said looking at his eyes "all I want, even if I know its not the right thing, it's for him to feel what he made me feel"

"What did he make you feel?" he ask while raising his cup to drink the little sake that was left

"Betrayed, hurted, like if I was so replaceable" you could feel your voice so weak, you imitate him and finish the last of your sake

"Maybe it's not the right thing" you heard Kiba say while feeling the space between you two getting smaller "but I can help you with that" his hand went to your waist and your noses were touching

You feel your heart beating faster than before, Kiba was you're friends since academy and you always think he was cute but you never imagine this.

You close your eyes and when you could feel his lips barely touching yours, he was rapidly pulled away by a voice in front of you.

"I'm gonna ask you nicely this time, get the fuck off my girlfriend" Sasuke was standing right in front of you two, with his hands in fists and a very angry face

"Girlfriend?" you say standing up, letting a fake laugh get all the way off your mouth "Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me but I don't remember being your girlfriend anymore, no since you cheated on me"

Everyone was watching the scene, in a covertly way, (in their drunk minds of course)

Sasuke shut his mouth, he didn't know what to say. You go directly to the door of the backyard, hitting your shoulder with his on purpose, getting out of the house, you took Shikamaru's cup out of his hand, cause yours was already empty and his was still half full, if you were somebody else he might get mad, but being his best friend since kids has some privileges so he just let you do it.

The backyard had amazing flowers (of course, what else could you expect from the Yamanakas) so you just sit there on the floor drinking from what you just stole from Shikamaru.

You could feel his presentation behind you, with every step a little more close to you.

"Why?" you ask in a little more than a whisper

"I don't know" you hear in Sasuke's voice "I can't even answer that because I don't know" he began to sit next to you "I'm really sorry, that's all I can say"

"A sorry can't fix it, you know it right?"

"Yes" he said

"Then thanks for everything, and I'm really sorry of the way our story ends" you said while you began to stand up "I really loved you, but please, just let it like it is"

You leave, leaving Sasuke alone, leaving him behind, even if you loved him, it was something you couldn't forgive.

Walking to enter the house again you see Shikamaru in the door, this time it was closed so everyone else was inside, you just run into his arms, Shikamaru wasn't the best with words, but you know he was there for you, a little tears started to run from your eyes, but could feel his fingers taking them out.

"You will be okay"

"I know"

"Come on, lets get inside" he opened the door and everything went back to normal, the guys having fun, Neji with his straight face but wanting to laugh internally, Choji eating some chips, Naruto yelling dattebayo without even making any sense because of the alcohol in his veins, Ino and Sakura fighting with a smile in theirs faces, everything was fine in this four walls.

Shikamaru was already with them while stay a little behind, you feel Kiba's hand on your shoulder and turn your face to see his.

"I'm sorry"

"You're saying "Im sorry" a lot today" you said to him with a little smile

"I know it's not the time, but I really wanted to kiss you" he let out

"Kiba-"

"You don't have to say anything, I just wanted to say, when you're ready, I will love to take you to the lake and maybe have a date" you smile and turn your hole body to face him

"Well, I can't say yes if you don't want me to say anything"

"Is that a yes then?"

You simply nod and plant a little kiss on his cheek.

"It's a yes" the you joined your friends and you all started having fun again.

Sasuke entered again and smile a little to you, smiling back you started to think that maybe not everything was bad right now, maybe this was the way things were supposed to go.

[the-last-cuddlebender]

So you just refuse canon and bumi and Kya were lying or were just dumb not to realize what was really happening and perfect dad aang didn’t favor tenzin so much and he wasn’t the special one who got all the trips and time with him and was the favorite and every air nation person didn’t revere him and his mother didn’t adore the baby of the family who gave her grandkids and youre right I had to look it up but pema was o n l y 16 years younger and a man doesn’t leave a long term partner to hook up right away with a girl if there wasn’t something going on before even if maybe they didn’t get close to f#cking or maybe it was the worshiping from her that he liked and it was enough even if he really didn’t have anything going on with her but for you tenzin is this perfect victim who never done anything wrong like aang and who only suffered by everyone else being mean and wasn’t loved enough for your liking but this is your hc and to be fair you can have any you want. Bumi was the oldest and he was a non bender that must have been crushing but he kept being a good person and loving his family. Kya was the middle child who was gay and who probably was a bit confused and a bit lost and still was the most caring person ever to anyone and was always willing to help and who even went to stay with her elderly mother. tenzin was the miracle child who got all his parents attention, an island and grow up to expect to be special and a leader who was rigid on his teaching and rules and was also sort of a shitty teacher who also treated a girlfriend/oldest friend like crap not because of the break up but how he did it. That’s all tenzin not just poor baby defenseless never done anything wrong tenzin but if that’s what you want I’m glad he isn’t as loved as you think he should be because with the bits we got his siblings are much more interesting and even better people

(I assume you’re referring to this post about a previous ask, and I’m happy to discuss)

Hi, anon! There’s considerably more for me to unpack here, so bear with me. I’ll try to keep my response contained to a few points:

some child (< age 12) psychology

Katara and Hakoda’s relationship

some pretty dang neat-o history facts that explain more than you think (because my diploma has to be worth something lmao)

(I’m trying to be concise, so if I sound short, please know that’s not my intention. I just wanna save this from becoming a novel. I also just burnt myself with NaNoWriMo, so it may kindof ramble idk)

To start, I don’t refuse the “canon” of the Kataang family, so take that as you will. I gave my argument completely within the lines of TLOK canon because I figured that was what you were after. And I can make an argument for something while not arguing against the opposition. A good argument should be able to validate itself. I never went after Bumi or Kya, and I never would. I love their characters to bits. I was focusing on Tenzin.

Nowhere in my previous post did I say that Tenzin is a ‘perfect victim’ who never did anything wrong. I’m discussing the reasons why I think his character should be explored and appreciated more. He is an extremely complex character just like the rest of the cast. To box him in as “the favored one” is narrow-sighted at best. He’s human. There’s more to him. He didn’t ask for his lot, but he makes of himself what he can with it, just like Bumi and Kya. He by no means had a cozy time (and he has the stress-lines to show it).  

You say that Tenzin was “expect to be special and a leader.” That alone makes me want to know more about him and how he grew up with that weight on his shoulders. That kind of expectation can destroy a person. It’s very a-la the pressures of the first-born in a monarchy crumbling under the stresses of learning to rule. Tbh, I think that’s why Tenzin was written as the youngest, so that the cliché wouldn’t be as obvious.

I have NEVER said that Bumi and Kya were lying or were dumb. I was discussing kid-Tenzin and how/why kid-Bumi and kid-Kya perceived favoritism (all while remaining within the lines of TLOK canon, too). Perception isn’t a bad thing. It’s just someone’s interpretation of the world. Idk if you think there’s a negative connotation to the word, but there’s not. Person A can look at the sky and see the moon and Person B can look at the sky and see a void that makes them feel small and insignificant. It’s just a difference of perception. Just because they’re different doesn’t make one or the other inherently wrong. Different truths are more than capable of co-existing.

FIRSTLY, about Aang passing:

Kya wasn’t the only one to help Katara after Aang passed. Aang left a void in MANY ways, both as a family man and the Avatar. Bumi, being in the military, guarded the world in his stead. Tenzin took up the mantle in the City and on the island. Kya took on the emotional safety-net.

Katara was Aang’s best friend, partner, and second-in-command. She was just as renowned as him. I can imagine the world expecting her to shoulder his burdens in the wake of his passing. She was the Mighty Katara, after all.

ALL of her kids helped her through his passing, in their own way. Being a shoulder to cry on is just one facet, and all three kids helped her beautifully.

Some psychology:

I’ll explain why I think Bumi and Kya perceived favoritism (which every kid does, myself included. It’s natural and somewhat instinctive for siblings) as best as I can. I’m not a psych major by any means, but I can lay down what I know and remember from my classes.

I’m not saying favoritism doesn’t exist in families. I’m talking about family dynamics in situations where favoritism is subjective because it objectively isn’t there. (Others might define favoritism differently, I suppose. But these are my thoughts)

Children (again, I’m talking <12 here) perceive the world differently than adults. They have incredible imaginations and a pretty tame survival instinct. Give a kid one of those mind-bender jigsaw puzzles, and they’ll have a higher chance of success solving it because their minds haven’t grown enough to be constrained by reality. They’re mad geniuses who haven’t been developed enough to be closed off from the possibilities. That’s what makes childhood so precious. 

That’s why even Gyatso wanted to wait until Aang was older to learn he was the Avatar. You have to let the mind grow and fall and dust itself off before you fence it in. This doesn’t discredit or underestimate kids, either. They are extremely capable. I’m just talking about their lesser known psychology.

“Developed” is also a word that doesn’t have negative connotation here. I’m speaking clinically. Some cognitive and executive brain functions aren’t developed until 25. It doesn’t devalue ability or understanding. It’s just a word.

Kids internalize things differently than adults, especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Perceived favoritism among siblings (in situations where there objectively isn’t favoritism, of course) is a classic example. Kids need only be a few years apart for this to be seen. If a two-year-old gets a younger sibling, they can regress to breastfeeding because of the perceived favoritism they see being given to the youngest. Mom isn’t going to let the other kid starve, but the kid doesn’t know that. 

This isn’t just in infants, though. And as it can be seen with the Kataang kids (they were all kids when Tenzin went on the trips with Aang, and kid-Tenzin is my focus here): Bumi and Kya don’t ‘know’ that Aang is saving time for them, too, when he isn’t there. All they see is Dad gone with Tenzin and leaving them behind. And by ‘know’, I don’t mean to insult their intelligence. They comprehend why, but their instincts don’t. Siblings have a lot of strange instincts, not just Cain Instinct. Object permanence is critical until critical and abstract thinking are properly developed. Before then, it’s a “I believe what I can see” mindset (in the simplest terms...I don’t wanna wax eloquent about the nuances of it rn. I can see people taking this as me discrediting kids, but I’m not. I’m just trying to explain the Point B missing between Points A and C presented in the show).

Katara:

Children don’t start developing abstract thinking until about age 12. It’s part of their cognitive development. That’s when they start developing critical thinking (and scientific method and etc.) and the understanding of relationships between verbal and nonverbal ideas. Before then, seeing dad take their youngest sibling on field trips would 100% feel unfair, no matter how the situation would be explained to them. They literally can’t understand it.

***Katara: If you want an example, look no further than when Katara confronts Hakoda in The Awakening. Katara knew Hakoda had to go when he did (2 years before the show, by the way, making her 12). She really, really does understand, even when she’s older. But it still hurts, and she doesn’t know why. That’s because the damage has been done. She perceived his leaving differently when she was younger and it internalized differently as a result. She feels a little abandoned even though she knows Hakoda didn’t and why he had to go. Its affects don’t go away, though (as seen in the invasion). 

I never said that Kya’s and Bumi’s feelings would go away or were untrue to begin with. It was real to them, and that’s all that matters, just like Katara’s feelings being real to her is all that matters. Hakoda understands that. Aang would, too.

Is that Aang’s fault? It depends on what your definition of a good dad is and whether or not you give him room to make mistakes. Personally, I think he’s a great dad to all three of his children, even in the canon of TLOK. He just isn’t given a proper analysis in the show. 

Time spent together does not equal time spent loved. Otherwise, school teachers would be more of a parent(s) to a kid than their actual parents.

The acolytes:

The acolytes of The Southern Air Temple being all “Avatar Aang had more kids?” and completely side-lining Kya and Bumi is not in any way a testament of Aang’s or Katara’s characters. That’s the acolytes’ characters. Aang and Katara have no control over what the acolytes do/do not want to believe or think, no matter how many times they would have corrected them. They fangirl over the airbenders in the scene you’re referring to. Even the fangirls in the comics completely side-lined Katara as Aang’s “first girlfriend.” Their behavior in TLOK never surprised me.

Teacher!Tenzin:

Tenzin being a poor teacher was a good thing. It meant he could grow with his equally-poor student so they would become something better together, as mentor and pupil. I found that idea for growth to be pretty darn cool.

Devaluing the opposition:

“The bits that we got his siblings are much more interesting and even better people” objectively, sure, I could agree, but if I met an interesting and awesome person for a short window of time, I wouldn’t believe they were interesting and awesome 100% of the time. Bits of a person do not define their character. Every person has a capacity for just as much good as evil—it’s a variable that stretches equally in either direction.

*********************************************************************

History-fun-time with the-last-cuddlebender woohoooooo

(a.k.a. I’ll address my thoughts on the “Tenzin being given the temple” and Tenzin-Pema situations, as you’ve presented them, as delicately and concisely as I can)

Importance of different generations:

If we go on the theory that TLOK mirrors more than just the industrial shifts of the real-world at the turn of the 20th c., then the age difference between Tenzin and Pema isn’t abnormal. (It wouldn’t be abnormal until even the early 1990s.) I have to use some anecdote to explain this, so bear with me:

Their age gap is strange to us because we’re used to things progressing so quickly. History as it’ll be written about the generations from the mid-90s onward will be very, very tricky. Generations now-a-days aren’t as easily defined because of the colossal leaps in technology from the past twenty or so years. 

Loosely, a generation is a group of people defined by relatively the same “changes” that happened in their lifetime (or whose effects affected their early development). There have been way too many changes in technology (which we know has a much stronger effect on a person’s early development now than ever before) in recent decades for that formula to hold up anymore, otherwise there would be a new generation every 4 years. 

An age gap like Tenzin’s and Pema’s feels so much stranger to us because our generations are so tightly layered. 4 years could mean a world’s difference when, back then (and I explain what I mean by “back then” further down), it didn’t change much on the dating scene. Life was more or less the same as they both grew up. It was far slower to change. And everyone in TLOK was growing up in the void of post-war for several decades. The technology jump didn’t (arguably) happen until just before Asami (if still holding up the comparison to modern day), so an age gap even in-universe wouldn’t be abnormal at the time they were dating.

(Even my parents got married at almost the exact same ages as Tenzin and Pema, the only difference being that my mom was 26 not 25. Most people I know are in the same boat. It’s just a generational disconnect)

Kya, Bumi, and Katara weren’t kicked out so Tenzin could be “given” the island (needs time period explanation):

I know TLOK says it got its inspiration from the 1920′s (the inspirations are there), but, if I were to date it, I would say that it’s moreso set in the mid 40′s-ish. (Kuvira ESPECIALLY reminds me of a not-as-known-as-they-should-be person from that time).

Among others, the size of the radios and Tenzin/Pema sleeping in one bed are some easy hints to me about TLOK being set in the mid-40s (if we’re using New York City as the template for Republic City). 

Even in the time of FDR’s earliest Fireside Chats, the radios were monsters that had to be kept in the corner of the living room. Towards the mid-40′s, commercial radios were becoming compact, and the radios in TLOK are pretty darn small. 

The Cathedral Radio used in TLOK wasn’t created in mass in the real world until 1933, and people didn’t have the means or money to replace their massive radios with smaller ones until (arguably) after the New Deal (1933-1939). Thus, I say the 40s.

Tenzin/Pema sleeping in the same bed also supports this time period because it wasn’t uncommon for couples to sleep in separate beds leading up into the “I Love Lucy” era of the 50s (the separate beds were for too many reasons to talk about here because they were a fad--for even medical reasons--for about a century). 

^^^setting the time period is needed to prove why I think Kya and Bumi left of their own volition, why they would do it, and why it was actually quite normal

Kya and Bumi weren’t kicked out of the temple. In real life, it was a trend up until the mid-40s for families to stay in the familial home, some even long after marriage. After that, however, multiple factors encouraged the want and fostered the need for young adults to leave their home as soon as 18. Kya and Bumi would be influenced just the same given the parallels with the time period.

Not all families did. The big (mostly industrial) cities were the first to do this. TLOK mirrors this with Bolin and Mako’s family staying together. 

Republic City, like New York City, was years ahead of these kinds of changes, so they started the one-bed shift and kids leaving the home just before the 50s. (This isn’t to disregard the cultural influences bellying the four nations. I know that familial homes are a characteristic common to Asian cultures since the US is more oft to sending elderly into nursing homes and such--and I’m having a blast learning about Asian culture since my specialty in college was medicine in Europe and the West--, but, here, I’m working on the assumption that the world in TLOK is migrating towards a Republic City standard, and the comics seemed to be hinting at that from as soon as just after the war, not to mention in TLOK.)

Again, kids leaving the home at the age of 18 is a very new thing that’s pretty specific to the US (in the time the trend first started) because of the new opportunities that were so suddenly afforded to younger people post-war. These opportunities were in all areas of life, not just economic (economic arguably being the least contributing factor imo), but that’s a historical essay for another time. 

My point is, kids leaving the familial home began as a choice in a post-war (100-year war, in TLOK’s case) world that encouraged them to do so.

Bumi and Kya were not kicked out so Tenzin could be “given” Air Temple Island. Bumi joined the military, and Kya traveled the world. They CHOSE to leave because there was opportunity to do so (that hadn’t been there for 100 years). They wanted to find their own destinies (and be the nomads they were born as...I always found it to be a great irony that Tenzin, being the poster-child to carry the legacy of the Air Nomads, never really got the chance to be a nomad. It’s sad, really, and potentially another reason why Aang took him on one-on-one trips since he knew Tenzin would be stuck with his legacy?).

Katara (again): As for Katara leaving the island, I believe that, among other reasons, Katara left Republic City because the light pollution made it difficult to see the stars she had grown up with. In real life, the Milky Way used to be visible to the naked eye everywhere in the world, and I think that change would be reflected in TLOK by default. Katara would probably find comfort in something as consistent as the stars and the Aurora lights in her old age. Plus, the city was probably too loud for her, and snow muffles sound pretty darn well.

TO BE CLEAR: This is not a justification. This is an explanation. I’m taking no “side”, here, because I’m not invalidating the opposition to validate my own. These are just my thoughts for how I see Point A becoming Point C in a way that keeps in line with TLOK canon.

*********************************************************************

Final thoughts:

You and I “perceive” Tenzin and his family differently, anon, and that’s okay. That’s just our interpretations of the show. I’m not calling for Bumi and Kya to be torn down so Tenzin can be uplifted. I’m talking about Tenzin (kid-Tenzin) in particular. His character is his character, and his value shouldn’t have to proven by devaluing Kya and Bumi. Likewise, Kya’s and Bumi’s value shouldn’t have to be proven by devaluing Tenzin. Just because they’re “more interesting” than Tenzin doesn’t make them interesting people (meaning that line of logic is flawed. i.e. lesser evil isn’t good because it’s lesser; it’s still evil. They should be interesting if the comparison is taken away, and they absolutely are and for their own reasons). Their characters should able to stand in an isolated argument, and they absolutely do, make no mistake. I love them to pieces, and nothing I’ve said about Bumi and Kya has made them inferior. I love them to death and have written more about them than Tenzin. It wasn’t until I started thinking about Tenzin that I realized his potential.

Tenzin, Kya, and Bumi were never “given” anything, and I doubt they would ever want it to be. They all had it rough, and they all deserve love. Bumi fought for a name in the military. Kya carved out her place in the world. Tenzin dug in his roots and planted the seeds for a garden he thought he wouldn’t be alive to see grow.

Me believing Tenzin should be appreciated more does not mean I believe Kya and Bumi should be appreciated less.

...just like Aang giving Tenzin one-on-one attention does not mean he didn’t give Kya and Bumi one-on-one attention, too:)

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.

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Again, this isn’t an attack on any character, person, or fandom! I’m not a psych expert, either, and I apologize if it sounds like I’m delegitimizing kids and their experiences. I’m trying to do the opposite. I can go more into detail about Kya and Bumi, but this post is a novel already and I'm too burnt out to add more.

I’m just trying to give Tenzin as much love as Kya and Bumi🥰 I love all the cloud babies equally (as I should😤), and I wanted to toss out my two cents for discussion because I don’t see the cloud babies being loved equally in fandom (kindof ironic)

If there is some hidden childhood!tenzin content please hmu I beg🥺

[flerkenkiddingme]

Okayyy i promised @sen-raq another oc post (thank you for being the kind soul who asked, ily), so here comes Team Avatar OCs 2: Electric Boogaloo.

This time, we’re actually getting into the friends in the squads, since I covered the avatars’ siblings in my last one. Each one will get 6 headcanons, just like last time. And the first one for tonight is the underappreciated yet iconic Ta Min. (get it? cuz she’s my blog icon? i might have a problem lmao)

1. She’s the nonbender daughter of two fire sages. Based off what we know from LOK and Shadow of Kyoshi, they have a deep connection to the spirits. Her parents believed having a nonbender daughter meant that their spiritual connection was diminishing, so to prove she wasn’t totally useless, she studied everything fire sages could do that didn’t require firebending. She memorized every astral calendar, learned the names of all kinds of spirits, and even made attempts to enter the spirit world, but they never batted an eye.

2. One day when she was almost 13, she was heading home from her job at the palace and walked into a sword fighting practice session by accident. Instead of sending her away, the instructor invited her to try. She ended up joining for good, and became extremely skilled with two daos, much like a certain descendant of hers. This was how she met Kami and her best friend Asha.

3. She got along great with Gyatso, since he was fascinated by the fire sages’ techniques, and with each other’s help, they entered the spirit world for the first time. They also bonded over her being demisexual and Gyatso being aro-ace.

4. The way she and Roku met was her almost running him through with one of her daos on her way to her sword lesson, hastily apologizing, and disappearing down the corridor with an internal monologue that can be summed up as “shit shit shit shit shit that’s the prince’s best friend oh fuck did he see my face? he saw my face, i’m so fucked, i’m busted, my parents are going to pull me out of here and then things are going to suck again, mother fucking shit.” That didn’t happen, as the only thought in Roku’s head then was “oh crap she’s cute.”

5. Picture a group mostly comprised of reckless dumbasses, and imagine Ta Min as their one brain cell. Now throw that idea out the window. She's what I call the Trick Braincell, aka the one you think would be the functional one until a situation arises and you realize she’s just as bad as the others. 

This group’s braincell happens to belong to my next oc, Asha, the best friend and eventual girlfriend of Kami.

1. She is half Water Tribe on her mother’s side and happened to be born a waterbender. To cover this up, her blue eyes were turned brown and she wasn’t to do any bending outside of her home. This was effective for 15 years of her life.

2. She’s mad good at pai sho, and showed her strategies to Gyatso, who used to fail horribly at it. The White Lotus tried to invite her, but she told them unless changes were made to the misogynistic bending rules, it wasn’t happening.

3. Once, in a moment of blind panic, she reached for the water in the body of someone who attacked her and, with a sort of bloodbending move, made them hurt themselves instead. Asha never figured out how it happened, as she didn’t want to try it on any of her friends to find out.

4. Her bending specialty is plant-bending, like how the Foggy Swamp benders did. She likes it because no one expects anyone to bend vines and branches, and it really catches people off-guard.

5. She’s the reason no one else in the crew has died yet. She learned to heal in secret as a kid, and until Roku and Kami figured out heat-bending, was the one helping patch up the others when something went wrong. 

Now I’m changing gears and giving you something on one of Yangchen’s closest friends, Rianak.

1. She’s the daughter of Yangchen’s waterbending master from the Southern Water Tribe. They were a bit more chill with women waterbenders learning to fight, but she struggled a lot with it initially.

2. She has a long scar under one eye from getting too close to a baby walrus moose and facing it’s mother’s wrath.

3. She was pansexual and kissed Yangchen once in the middle of sparring. Whether Rianak and Yangchen will be a couple, I’m not totally sure yet, but just know they had this little moment.

4. She loves to dance, and often does when home alone, humming songs played at Water Tribe festivals and holidays.

5. She can tell when someone is lying. Not in the way Toph can, but she can sense their blood rushing in their body and how fast or slow it goes. About seven times out of ten, she’s right.

That’s all for tonight, and if anyone wants more deets, all you have to do is ask. The ideas build up like a dam waiting for an escape.

[gideongrace]

For @harringrovetrashh 😊😊😊💜💜💜😍😍😍

//

There's this tiny, little, oddly upscale pub a few blocks from the bakery that's got these dark red walls, deep, velvet lined booths and waiters that wear fancy all-black suits and ties. 

And it also has truly excellent food, which is why they go. 

And the drinks are cheap, which is why they stay. Often for hours and hours, just talking about nothing at all in particular and everything they can think of, often at the exact same time.

So one night, after hours of doing just exactly that with Billy, Nancy and Jonathan, Steve starts telling them the story of how Dustin met his girlfriend, Kali. He goes into extravagant detail on just how awkward Dustin was being and how hard he had to work to get him a date. 

Nancy and Jonathan both laugh but Billy gives him this funny, one eyebrow raised, Oh, really? kind of look. Then he says, "Like you've never been weird." 

"W-well, I… I never said I wasn't," Steve says less than gracefully. He would have loved to have sounded cool and unaffected, but he knows he missed that mark so bad it's three towns over, sleeping soundly, completely and utterly unaware of his existence entirely. It might as well be in the next state, hell, a whole other country, for how badly he's missed it. 

So with this in mind, because of this, really, Billy, of course, keeps going.

"First day we met, you were so awkward," Billy says, tone teasing but eyes bright like he's decided to dig in, and Steve means really dig in, like full stop.

"Sounds about right," Nancy says knowingly. 

Steve is stunned into silence. 

Nancy laughs and reaches a hand across the table to put her hand over Steve's. "After high school, once you stopped with all that cool kid King Steve bullshit, you became the loveable, awkward dork you were always meant to be." She pauses and almost winks at him. Almost, but not quite. "I like you much better this way."

Billy laughs. "Wait. Excuse me, what? Did people actually call you that?"

Steve can feel his face getting embarrassingly warm. "They… ummm… they might have." 

This time Jonathan speaks up. "Oh, they totally did. They called him 'King Steve' and Steve 'The Hair' Harrington—"

"Now that one I can believe," Billy interjects. 

"He was the most popular kid in school because of his hair and the fact that his parents were never home," Nancy says, continuing on for Jonathan like he'd never even stopped, like they just share one brain now after all this time together, like she just knows exactly what he's going to say anyway. 

But underneath the table Billy's knee knocks gently into Steve's and Steve knows without Billy having to say it in words that Billy gets how much it sucks that his parents were never around. He knows that Billy understands the kind of scars that leaves behind. He wishes Billy didn't, he wishes he were alone in this, that the scars he's got in all his dark and quiet, broken places weren't perfectly matched in all of Billy's dark and quiet, broken places, but… they are. And it's sweet, what Billy is doing right now. 

Billy isn't that sweet for long, though; in the next instant he's right back to it, giving Nancy this dagger sharp grin and saying, "He 'was', huh?" He even licks his lips expertly, readying himself for the next juicy tidbit of gossip he thinks he's about to uncover.

Steve, unfortunately, knows better. Steve, unfortunately, knows that what Billy's about to uncover is more trap than treat.

And he's powerless to stop him.

"What changed?" 

It's like watching a car accident a split-second before it even happens. Steve's insides brace for impact as Nancy's face twists like she's been hit, her lips turning down at the corners and her eyebrows pulling together. Steve can feel the way Jonathan's hands reach out and grab at his knees from across the table, can sense the way his whole body goes tense just by looking at him and the way his shoulders twitch.

Or, in a word, it's bad.

Nancy, without saying anything, looks away and takes a long, slow sip of her wine. 

Jonathan, rather bravely in Steve's opinion, clears his throat and picks up the thread of the conversation. "He started dating Nancy."

Billy's eyes go wide. "What?" He waves wildly between Nancy and then Steve. "You two?" He looks caught between laughing and choking before settling on just straight up gawking. "How?"

Steve shrugs and looks over at Nancy. She refuses to look at him, instead deciding to look down at her hand that's still covering his.

She doesn't move it.

"I dunno," Steve says. He puts his other hand on top of hers. "There was just something about her." 

The tension breaks as Nancy smiles at this and it's shy at first but as she starts to lift her head, it grows into something bright, something warm. "He was sweet. Even though he pretended to be this cool jock, I knew he was a good person. A good man."

Billy just looks confused. "So…" he starts but trails off and Steve can tell he's trying to find a nice way to ask why they ever broke up if they loved each other so much.

Rather than wait out another live and in person car crash, Steve decides to just answer his unasked question and skip that part. "We broke up for a couple of reasons," he says and as he does so, he pulls his hand away from Nancy's, but he keeps his eyes on her.

She continues the story, picking it up like they're weaving a freaking friendship bracelet or something. 

"First," she says, her voice still cracking, even after all this time, "my best friend Barb died. She, uh—" The crack becomes a break and her hand slinks off of Steve's to rest with Jonathan's on the other side of the table, where it belongs. 

"Drowned," Steve says. "In my pool. At a party."

Next to him Billy goes tense and Steve's not a mind reader but he knows exactly what Billy is thinking. He's thinking, Shit, I should never have asked. He's thinking, Shit, this is my fault. Billy breathes out once and it leaves Steve with this ice cold feeling, this worry over what Billy's about to do, but then, surprisingly, maybe even to Billy himself, Billy melts. He wraps an arm around Steve's shoulder and draws him close, switches from ice to fire in an instant and starts pouring warmth into Steve just by gently touching him. 

Steve still feels cold, feels, sees, smells cold and imagines chlorine and bright, neon blue water but he stays quiet, letting someone else pick up the story. 

Nancy carries it on. "We…" She bites her lip and the hand holding the stem of her wine glass tightens until it's gripping hard enough Steve thinks he's about to hear the glass start cracking. "We were distracted. We weren't paying attention. She hadn't even been drinking, she just slipped and hit her head and fell in and…" Her hand drops from the glass and she shrinks in on herself. Jonathan wraps around her without even consciously seeming to decide to do so, it's just an instinct buried somewhere at the core of him to be protective and kind. And especially over Nancy, especially now.

And Billy, Billy's just as protective but he's ten times more wary. Billy's whole body goes tight again, goes rigid and under the table, next to Steve's thigh, Billy's hand clenches into a fist like he's just waiting for something to fight, for a monster to appear out of the table roaring and screaming, with its long, sharp claws brandished and teeth gnashing viciously. Or like he's expecting a man with a shotgun to come barrelling in through the front door and demanding everybody get down and make real good friends with the floor and they better do it real quick.

It's like he needs something, or someone, to fight. Like he's useless in this situation as it is. 

"So how did… when did… I mean, how did that lead to..." Billy stammers. His face is carefully blank or at least it's trying to be, but Steve can see the confusion and the panic peeling at the edges. He knows Billy too well not to, at this point.

Not that he's about to mention it, of course. Billy hates getting accused of having emotions in public, even if that 'public' is only a small bar filled only with two other very drunk patrons and a bored-looking bartender who seems much more invested in whatever's happening on her phone's screen than in anything that's happening in the bar. 

"Well, we didn't exactly… handle it well as a couple," Steve says, which is the kindest understatement he thinks may have ever been spoken in the English language. Maybe in any language. 

"And I was kind of in love with someone else…" Nancy says. 

"Yeah," Steve says. He feels frozen in time, feels glued to his seat, until he looks up and sees the way Nancy is staring at Jonathan and the way Jonathan is staring back at her, like they're the only two people who exist for each other in the whole entire universe and he feels himself settle back down into his bones. He can't be upset when they look at each other like that, he just can't. 

He can admit, however, he is big enough to admit, that sometimes it still stings a little, what happened between them, no matter how old the hurt might be. He is big enough to admit that there have been a few times, on his worst days, when Nancy's voice in his head chimes in with his father's and he hears her calling him 'bullshit'. He hears her asking him, begging him, pleading with him to just tell her why she wasn't good enough, why after sex with her just one time, he lost all interest. He didn't have a word for it then, didn't know what 'asexual' meant, then. And he didn't know how to be honest, then, either. With her or with himself.

But sometimes he's still just a little mad about it, internally (and only ever just internally) but then he sees them looking at each other like that and he can't be mad. He sees them looking at each other like that and he knows that everything the three of them went through together after Barb died was worth it. Because he's not really ever been mad at her, anyway, but at himself. For not having the right words. For not being honest. For not knowing. 

But he knows now. He's honest now. And she has Jonathan. And he has Billy. 

So he unclenches, a little. 

And then a lot.  

At his side, Billy's fist loosens up until it's just his hand and his hand starts stroking a long, soothing line along the seam of Steve's jeans like he can burn into Steve's skin through the fabric and Steve leans into the touch, pretends he can feel Billy's strong, sure fingers against his skin and he feels himself breathe, well and truly breathe properly for the first time in a while. 

He leans into Billy with his whole body and allows himself a moment to just enjoy it—Billy's warmth and the sure certainty he brings to every moment he's not looking for something to fight—before tuning back in to some conversation that seems to have progressed without him to hear Nancy saying, "I will never doubt again," in this soft and dream-like way that sounds like she's quoting something Steve is sure he's heard at least a hundred times before and yet is still having trouble placing. 

Jonathan clearly knows exactly what it's from, though because on hearing it he smiles at her, his expression just as soft, just as dream-like, and he says, "There will never be a need," like this is some commonly repeated joke the two of them share. 

And who knows, maybe it is?

Billy, for his part, snorts. "Really? The Princess Bride? You guys were watching The Princess Bride when you first said 'I love you' to each other?"

Nancy scowls at this but she's still all wrapped up in Jonathan so the look goes nowhere fast. "And what's wrong with The Princess Bride, huh?"

"Nothing," Billy says with this smile Steve just knows means trouble. "It's just a much nicer story than ours and I'm jealous, that's all." 

And Steve knows he's not going to be able to stop Billy from telling it, either, so he doesn't even bother. Doesn't even say a word. 

"The first time we said 'I love you' to each other was after a fight in a grocery store that started with Steve throwing—" Billy stops short to giggle like a freaking five year old. "That started with Steve throwing down an avocado and shouting"—again, more giggling— "'Fuck the avocadoes! We're leaving!'"

This time it's Nancy's eyes that go wide and Jonathan that says, "Wait. What?"

And then Steve and Billy have to explain that story.

[onepickyreader]

Why Jihyun is a horrible person vs Kyujin (used here as a comparison) - part 2

part 1 is here and mostly deals with J and Chiwoo encounter (in the present), plus the idea that the author is purposefully putting in a parallelism J and K

Also, trigger warnings, I will talk about abusive and unhealthy relationships, rape, assault

FLASHBACK: I AM SORRY (and why the relationship between Chiwoo and J has never been a good one)

I just wanted to add some things about the previous PAST interactions between Chiwoo and J.

J is shown to be violent and to treat people like they are nothing. He seduces Chiwoo's possible girlfriend, so that Chiwoo would break up with her, he beats up people who try to get close to Chiwoo. And, every time, he apologizes.

Now, let's look at the previous apologies. J has often used them as a weapon. They were the "I apologized, why are you treating ME like this", the "I apologized, YOU keep ignoring me", escalating up to J assaulting Chiwoo again as a punishment for his unheard apologies (in the present). Later on, we find out that J doesn’t really regret the assault per se, but the fact that Chiwoo didn’t forgive him (chapter 35).

This is what narcissistic behavior is, from this link

An apology to a narcissist means:

Look how good I am. (J uses his apologies to get pity, and draw attentions, he kneels in front of Chiwoo) Now you owe me forgiveness. (this is literally what J thinks, reason why he punishes Chiwoo for ignoring his apologies) We won’t talk about this again. Our relationship is still on my terms, but I appear to care about your feelings. (This is what J wants from the apologies, he wants Chiwoo to go back being how he was with him)

Not to mention that this cycle of violence and apologies trap Chiwoo into an unhealthy relationship. Chiwoo is worried about J, he is worried things won’t go back to normal, he is worried things will go wrong and J will flip. He also decides to ignore the many “I like you” J tells him, and this is what J uses against him. This is the big offense, J thinks must be punished somehow. (I explained in part 1 that he thinks the rape is just the result of Chiwoo’s behavior)

Another thing I’d like to highlight about Chiwoo and J past relationship:

There is a scene where J yells at Chiwoo. Chiwoo’s reaction is not to defend himself, or yell back, but to get their friends (minions?) out, probably to protect J from other people’s judgement and eyes, because, once alone, Chiwoo goes for PLACATING. His friend is yelling at him and accusing him of stuff, and Chiwoo’s first reaction is babying him, placating him.

Later on, while J is kissing Chiwoo against his consent, and Chiwoo is repeating stop, he ends up punching J, in an attempt to be heard. Chiwoo APOLOGIZES.

Let me repeat. J is assaulting Chiwoo, ignoring his requests to stops, Chiwoo hits him to defend himself and immediately apologizes. That is learnt behavior.

A similar thing happens with K. Chiwoo and K are together, K doesn’t listen to one no, and Chiwoo punches him. The atmosphere is much more playful and light, bu K says that “Chiwoo hurt his feelings”, which throws Chiwoo right back into a flashback and he APOLOGIZES. 

Furthermore, I am of the idea that J doesn’t regret assaulting Chiwoo because of the hurt he caused Chiwoo, but because of the consequence to their relationship. 

But, now, back to the comparisons.

PRESENT: K’s APOLOGY

I just wanted to highlight a bit the chapter after the flashback, where we see what J’s apologies are.

K has been ignoring Chiwoo because he is embarrassed and had a sex dream about him. K feels genuinely sorry, not only for avoiding Chiwoo but especially because he feels like he has been disrespectful towards him by having such a dream. The apology is so honest that we can see his thoughts right on paper:

And more importantly he doesn’t expect to be forgiven. Instead of what we saw with J (Jimmediately wraps his arm around Chiwoo, in the flashback, as soon as he can see that Chiwoo is slightly less mad), K is surprised that their relationship can go back to before.

HOW TO START A RELATIONSHIP

The comparison here is pretty brief. In the flashback, J keeps insisting that he likes Chiwoo, and while both of them knows what is going on, it is never said explicitly. J clearly doesn’t want to throw it all out there, in case Chiwoo rejects him.

In chapter 21, K announces loudly and clear his intention to court Chiwoo, but still worries about making him uncomfortable. GOALS.

And while J was putting it all on Chiwoo, this is K:

A bit of a parenthesis about touch

K uses touch as a way to communicate and connect, and flirt etc.

While J also uses touch as a way to communicate and connect and flirt, he is the only one who uses touching as a threat and a warning.

Look at this asshole. There is no way this is love.

btw, I already talked about that scene where they all sleep together and how once again J refuses to listen to Chiwoo’s consent here

(also remember that time K asks permission before hugging Chiwoo. Amazing content)

SEASON 2: J and CHIWOO

Season 1 is all about Chiwoo having to face his abuser being back in his life, and the start of some feelings towards K. In season 2, Chiwoo is absolutely resigned to this new life. He doesn’t care about going to a trip with his classmates (until his mother insists he goes), he tries to stay away from everyone, and all because J literally and explicitly threatened Chiwoo. 

So Chiwoo is doing all he can to keep his head down, and keep K and his new friends safe. For his part, J uses physical contact and kissing as a way to claim ownership (Chiwoo remarks that J did that in front of everyone on purpose).

we have heartbreaking internal dialogue, like this

And

Because somehow, part of the shitty victim blaming J has been spouting must have gotten to Chiwoo.

In season 2, we see that the only moment Chiwoo lets himself get close to K (telling him that K can still go on liking Chiwoo, and that he needs more time to decide), is also the moment J returns to violence and basically does what he has been warning Chiwoo of: beating K up. So Chiwoo’s fears were absolutely warranted.

This escalates to J getting K to a secluded place to let his minions beat him up. The solution J sees, the only solution, is, once again, getting rid of the person close to Chiwoo, so that Chiwoo, once isolated, can crawl back to J.

This comes directly after J’s realization that maybe he shouldn’t have raped Chiwoo, and that he had really imagined Chiwoo would forgive him once again. And because forgiveness is not working, then isolation must be the tactic.

The fact that Chiwoo intervenes doesn’t stop him, because, in my opinion, J is aware that fear also used to work well in their previous relationships, and that Chiwoo used to turn to placating him, instead of getting mad at him, during previous abuses.

Unfortunately, once more, Chiwoo is the one getting hurt, and once again refusing J’s apology.

And Chiwoo has enough (this is how he welcomes J to the hospital room)

The fact that J apologizes once more, and is so hopeful to look up when Chiwoo calls his name, clearly shows that J did not learn anything. He still thinks he is getting away with this. 

I am not sure why this time Chiwoo’s words seem to not fall on deaf ears.

It could be, that this is the first time J sees the consequence of his actions up close (when he had raped Chiwoo, he had never seen him after). And it could be that Chiwoo just looks so defeated him, while telling him that he cannot forgive J anymore.

And this is not even about K (and what J wanted to do to K), this is again about J and how he betrayed Chiwoo’s trust, and facing for the first time what had happened: how Chiwoo had to leave school, how he had stayed indoors for months, how he had been scared of people. 

Chiwoo finally admits that he knows J remembers what has happened, that J has never been too drunk or out of control, and cannot use that as an excuse anymore.

Chiwoo literally says that seeing J makes him want to die. 

And this is presented like Chiwoo’s chapter, this is the moment he can finally face his abuser and tell him what he had done to him. This is not for J, this is not J’s character growth, this is Chiwoo’s, because while Chiwoo is baring his soul and pain, J’s tears and pain is all about what HE had lost, what HE could have gotten, and HIS jealousy.

Chiwoo can finally ignore the pleads of his abuser, and how J keeps insisting that he will change, that Chiwoo cannot leave him. So Chiwoo just asks him to stop being friends and never meet again.

J, for all his warped idea of love, has always been loyal to Chiwoo, so even this time, he finally can see that no amount of apologies will work, so he goes away.

FOR A BIT. Because, for all his character development, he never actually managed to see the full impact of what he has done, so when he leaves, he doesn’t accept the idea that Chiwoo might NEVER forgive him.

He still says, WHENEVER, WHEN you will forgive me, and he will be waiting.

A SMALL CONCLUSION

As the author herself said, this is about Chiwoo’s growth and starting to heal from trauma. This is not a story about a love triangle, and I believe that many of the scenes we have with K are there to show the way J is NOT.

Here a summary of these parallelisms:

J isolating Chiwoo vs K introducing Chiwoo to his friends

Chiwoo asking J and K not to touch him, J touching him, K not touching him

We have J alone in Chiwoo’s house, assaulting him. vs K alone with Chiwoo, just studying (as Chiwoo told him to)

K asking for Chiwoo’s number vs J somehow finding and registering Chiwoo’s number

the differences between K and J apologies

Possessiveness vs love (just look at the way K is happy to see Chiwoo with friends)

Asking before hugging vs possessive touch

Constant requests and messages (where are you, who are you with) vs actual worries about “have you safely reached home?”

All those instances of how J uses touch as a threat to Chiwoo

J EXPECTING to be forgiven vs J surprised that he can resume his relationship with Chiwoo after being forgiven

J expecting Chiwoo to understand his feelings and faulting him for not to vs K apologizing for not having been clear enough and directly asking Chiwoo if he can keep pursuing him

Let me finish with this beautiful ending of Chiwoo throwing away his memories with J, and the conflicting feel of hate and love that he feels for his once best friend. JUST.... I feel that.

Also, these are Chiwoo’s thoughts on K:

[michaelgambons]

Baseline Romantic

Chapter 2

*warning- mild drug use*

Be prepared for a slowwwww burn champs, but bare with!

The next morning, Y/N woke up and for a few, blissful moments, had no memory of the night before. Lying in the soft cotton sheets with the sunlight streaming in through curtains, the world seemed perfect. And then Y/N’s hangover hit, and with it, the memories of the night before.

Suspecting the worst, Y/N grabbed her phone that had been charging next to her and opened Instagram, quickly finding Ben’s story from the previous night. There she was, glass of wine in hand, rapping along tunelessly as she danced her way around the room. At least she had managed to remember all the words, she thought glumly to herself. She groaned slightly and rolled onto her side, hoping for a couple more minutes sleep, but was distracted by the smell of bacon which was wafting up the stairs.

Following her nose, Y/N headed downstairs. A welcome site met her in the kitchen. Charlie was stood over a large frying pan in which bacon was sizzling away. Catherine and Ben were sat at the large wooden kitchen table, coffee in hand, and both looked up to greet her as she came into the room.

Y/N sank into the chair next to them at the table and groaned, putting her head in her arms.

Ben sniggered at her. ‘Coffee?’ he asked.

‘Yes... please’ Y/N responded.

As Ben got up to make the coffee, Y/N raised her head up from her arms and asked with a laugh ‘How many people have seen that story from last night Ben?’.

‘About 10,000 last I checked, and lots of panicked teenage girls messaging me asking if you’re my girlfriend’ he laughed.

‘Oh for god’s sake’ Y/N sighed. ‘They clearly don’t know you at all, otherwise they’d know you didn’t have girlfriends, just anonymous skinny models that tumble out of your bedroom on a regular basis’ Y/N and Catherine snigger, whilst Ben feigns shock.

‘Excuse me Y/N they are not anonymous! I always make sure to ask what their name is, you can’t blame me if I forget it 2 minutes later’.

The group laughed and Ben handed Y/N her coffee. He’s wearing a pair of tightly fitting workout leggings, which accentuate his legs and bum, making them look ridiculous toned. Y/N follows his bum around the kitchen with her eyes before breaking off to focus instead on her coffee, and curse him internally for wearing such distracting clothing.

————

Y/N dropped her phone on the bed beside her and wiped away the tears that had formed in the corner of her eyes. She sat for a moment, trying to compose herself before she headed back downstairs to join the others.

Heading back downstairs, she was distracted by the sound of music emanating from one of the bedrooms. Sticking her head round the door, she saw Dominic and Ben sitting together, Dominic on the bed, guitar in hand and Ben squatting on the floor, beating out a rhythm on a small wooden box he was sat on.

Grinning they look up to see her, but their expression changed when they see her face, still puffy and pink from crying.

‘Oh god, what’s happened?’ Dominic asked, patting the bed next to him for Y/N to sit down.

Sitting down, Y/N nestled her head into the crux of his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her. Much as she tried to stop it, a stream of tears erupted again.

‘Dan just called’ Y/N started, ‘He spent the first 15 minutes telling me about the protest he went on yesterday, without properly acknowledging I was on the phone to him- it was such a monologue. When I started to tell him about my weekend, he grunted along for about 30 seconds before interrupting to talk about a new range of free trade fava beans he’d found in the shop this morning. I got really cross and asked him why he couldn’t be bothered to ask about my weekend when I had sat listening to him talk about his, and we ended up having the same argument again as yesterday about me coming here. It ended with him saying I clearly wasn’t committed to- and I’m not joking, I wish I was- seizing the means of production, and he wasn’t sure if he could be with someone who had such flaky political views’

Y/N wiped her eyes and looked up at the two boys, who were gaping at her in disbelief.

She laughed, ‘I know, it’s such a niche argument to have’.

‘He interrupted you to tell you about Fair Trade Fava Beans?’ said Ben, disbelievingly.

Y/N nodded, and then broke into a laugh. The ridiculousness of the argument had struck her.

The two boys broke into laughter with her.

‘That bloke is mad if you ask me’ said Dominic. ‘He’s incapable of casual conversation. Do you remember that time he had a go at me in the M1 Service Station because I got a Starbucks? It wasn’t even as if I’d chosen to get Starbucks, there was no where else and I’d been driving for the last 5 hours!’

‘Oh my god yes! I’d forgotten that!’ said Y/N. ‘That was an awkward drive...’

They all laughed. Ben stood up.

‘Shall we go for a walk before dinner? Might be good to get some fresh air’ he said, looking at Y/N.

She nodded, getting to her feet.

—————-

A few minutes later, clad in wellies and as many jumpers as Y/N could find, her and Ben set out for your walk, bidding goodbye to Dominic who was staying behind to help prepare dinner.

You trudged along in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. The air was warm but the ground was damp in the aftermath of the rain you had had, and leaves squelch under your boots. You talked casually about work, Boris Johnson (‘I’d love to spend the day with him just to figure out his bullshit’ Ben laughs) and music, before an incoming text message interrupts your conversation.

Y/N glanced down at her phone. It’s the fifth text in 30 minutes from Dan, apologising and asking her to call him when she got a chance. Y/N sighed and put her phone back in her pocket.

‘Dan?’ Ben says, nodding towards her pocket.

‘Yeah,’ Y/N replies. ‘I’m just giving myself a bit of time to calm down before I reply’.

‘Good idea,’ Ben nodded. He paused slightly before he continued ‘You do know you deserve better than this, right? I don’t want to sound patronising, and I know it’s none of my business, but... I care about you... a lot, and I hate seeing you like this. You’re so ridiculously clever and kind and...’

‘Alright you soppy idiot calm down’ Y/N interrupts him, giggling. ‘I get the picture. I’m a big girl though, I’ll figure this out’

Ben wrapped his arm around Y/N’s shoulders, and they fell into a pace beside each other.

‘Sorry’ he said. ‘We should be getting back, dinner will be ready soon’

————-

Y/N groaned in pleasure as she pushed her plate away from her. ‘Cleo, that was delicious’ she said. She accepted the spliff Charlie passed her and happily inhaled.

The group were sat outside in the fading sun, the embers of their bbq providing a smokey haze over them. They were all silent for a moment, full and content from the meal they had just had.

‘You know what I’ve always wondered?’ Cleo said, ‘In Harry Potter, how is Harry quite so rich? He’s basically the bourgeoisie and no one ever talks about it.’

The group laugh.

‘That’s the least of your worries mate!’ Dominic laughs, ‘I’ve always wondered how Igor Karkaroff got made Headmaster of Durmstrong when he was a convicted Death Eater. Can you imagine the Ofsted inspections?’ He imitates an Ofsted inspector- ‘So you’ve got fantastic OWL’s Mr Karkarof, but a number of your students have also become Death Eaters under your care...’

‘Did you ever try out for Harry Potter Ben?’ Charlie asked.

‘No, I didn’t’ Ben laughs. ‘Fucking wish I had though, I’d never have to work again. At the time I still didn’t realise I wanted to be an actor, otherwise I probably would have done’.

Charlie laughed. ‘You wouldn’t have had to do Eastenders for so long if that had been the case’.

He started singing the Eastenders theme song and the group join in, all in different keys and in different time- but it’s enough to make Ben’s ears go bright red.

‘Alright, alright’ he says, smiling. ‘I definitely paid my dues with that one. Whenever I catch it nowadays the illusion is totally lost though. All I can ‘see’ are the cameramen recording the scenes and all the sound men-‘

‘No great loss mate’ Y/N sniggers.

—————

As Y/N lay in bed that night, moonlight lighting up a strip on her bed, her mind wandered. She only had one more day with the group before she had to head back to London, to the flat and Dan. She was dreading it, and had spent the day trying not to dwell on it too much. Being here, with her friends, with so few responsibilities had made her realise just how stressed she had been over the past few months.

Chapter 3 now out!

[deadagainmaevepetre]

— yet (moment by painful moment, breath by painful breath) one got through things.

SUMMARY: on behalf of titania, maeve begins pushing il sangue di faerie to the wealthy, young elite of verona. she kills two boys in the process. in addition, she secures test subjects for faerie’s ring, a new capulet drug in development.

dates: april 14 — 23 trigger warnings: drugs, murder, rape mention featuring: @la-bella-falco / @dukemassetti​ / @oliviorivera​ / @theodoramoreaus​

APRIL 14. 

For the most part, Maeve doesn’t love being a Capulet. But there are, admittedly, some perks — namely, access to some of the most famous teenagers of Verona. They have no idea that their opulent house party is her target, and that she is gunning for their wallets as surely as she is aiming for their souls. With her makeup and outfit masterfully orchestrated by Bunny, Maeve slips in with a group of influencers as if she’s one of them.

She takes a selfie in front of the elaborate entrance to enhance the illusion. Instead of uploading it to Instagram, Maeve sends it to Orion: dad, i’m an influencer! she texts. Her lips tick as she walks toward the crowd. It makes her feel like Orion is there with her; she can almost hear him insisting that it will all be okay.

Maeve nearly stumbles when someone steps in front of her. “Hey, I’m Luca.” He nods down at her phone, brows raised inquisitively. “Texting your boyfriend?”

Is this the part where she flirts with him? She summons her inner Lucrezia, hoping that she will make her superior proud with the subtle shift in her body language. Imagining her jaws cracking as it opens for a taste of him, Maeve leans in. “I’m just texting my friend, she’s supposed to meet me here.”

Her phone dings, and Maeve pulls it out and scans a text from Orion. She smothers the smile that threatens to paint her mouth and instead, for Luca’s pleasure, she pouts. “She’s not coming. Damn.”

“Let me introduce you to some people, then.” He begins to move towards her, and Maeve angles her phone away from Luca before he can see the screen. As his hand rests on the small of her back, she slides the phone back into her pocket and follows his lead. She meets his friends, the small circle of Verona’s youthful elite. Laughing at their jokes, rolling her eyes as she speaks of her made-up, flakey friend, Maeve pretends to be one of them.

And isn’t she close enough to be one of them, truly? She is Maeve Petre, the only daughter of one of the wealthiest men in Verona: privileged and pampered, beautiful as if she is one of Aphrodite’s chosen. But she lacks their ignorance, that naivety that sparkles like gold under the light and becomes a bullseye in the dark.

“This party is so boring,” Camilla whines, leaning against Mia’s arm. “Let’s leave.”

Luca laughs. “This is your party, Camilla.”

“Shouldn’t that tell you how bad it is?” she snaps. Mia tenderly pats her girlfriend’s arm until Camilla curls back into her, piercing glare melting to a merely unhappy frown.

It’s her opening, and Maeve doesn’t hesitate to seize it. Like she’s presenting a secret, she meets Camilla’s eyes and confesses, “I might have something to make things more fun.”

“Yeah?” Luca puts an arm around her shoulders, and Maeve fights the urge to shrug it off. She is working, though he doesn’t know it. It makes her feel unprofessional, or like this whole mission is a joke. But it’s not a joke; it’s her chance to prove herself, and Maeve isn’t going to waste it.

Her teeth are clenched behind a close-lipped smile that Maeve hopes passes off for flirty. “Yeah.” When she’s sure that they’re all watching her, she casually brushes her finger below her nose, flicking her finger up at the end for emphasis. It takes only one try for Camilla and Mia to get the hint, and they look impressed; it makes her heart pitter-patter with pride.

Luca is a little denser. “What is it?” He looks from Camilla, to Mia, to Maeve.

Mia rolls her eyes. “Come on, principessa delle fate. He’ll figure it out eventually.”

This time, she doesn’t hide her pure elation. Mia doesn’t know how fitting of a nickname that is.

—————

APRIL 20.

In almost a week, Maeve has expanded her circle of three clients to twelve. Word about il sangue di Faerie has spread quickly among Verona’s teen gods, gilded and gifted and glorious. Her reputation is beginning to precede her; Mia’s nickname has caught on, and they call her principessa delle fate. With a wild grin, Maeve accepts the crown they offer her and wears it with glee. She’s gotten used to their gratitude and how they lick the palm of her hand in hopes that they’ll find a delicate, powdery residue that will fill their minds with madness.

They are only the troubled and poisonous youth, with tongues made of polished gold, fingers and necklines laced with diamonds. They sit on their man-made thrones and consider Maeve beneath them. Just a deliverer of pleasure, a messenger of fantasy.

They never look past her bright eyes and splattered freckles for the gleam of something wicked and silver.

Each day, Camilla sends another friend her way. Then they send their friends, and their friends — and the circle expands. It’s as if she’s breathed life into clay, and they cannot stop coming back to her. Maeve grants them small doses at a time, until she says, with a petulant frown as if it hurts her to say it more than to hear it, that she’ll have to increase the price for how quickly they want it.

It almost makes her giggle, how quickly they agree.

She texts Olivio frequently, asking for his advice on how to create demand and desire without removing the illusion of access. Every word from his mouth is taken to heart, and Maeve executes it as if it’s law. Maeve promises to bake him cookies and a cake as a thank you; already that number is piling high, as Olivio helps her navigate tricky situations and complex requests.

She doesn’t think to ask Olivio for his advice when Luca asks to meet with her in private — she regrets it, later on.

"We used to go to this other guy, you know?” Luca says, a joint casually hanging from his lips. He shakes off the ashes, not caring if it marks the carpet. Maeve internally screams.

He offers her a hit, and Maeve shakes her head politely. Not at work, and not even with her friends, which Luca is certainly not. He seems to think her success is his own, as if he discovered her. How many times has Maeve bitten her tongue until she drew blood to stop lashing out at him? You only discovered me because I let you. You found me because I wanted to be found.

Instead, Maeve feigns interest. “What do you mean?” She shifts her position on his couch to face him, one arm propped up, chin on her palm and knees tucked beneath her.

“He used to deal us this other thing every once in awhile. Nothing fancy, just standard shit. I told him about you though, and he’s interested.” Luca inhales, deep into his lungs, as Maeve steels herself for the worst.

Luca exhales. “He’s interested in helping out. You know, help deal your shit and give you a cut of the profit.” He looks at her blankly, as if he doesn’t care for her answer at all. “You in?”

It can’t hurt to meet him, Maeve thinks. It might even show some initiative. She did well enough to get the general public interested in il sangue di Faerie. A quiet thrill hums through her veins, the thrill of exceeding expectations a different kind of drug entirely.

She smiles sweetly at Luca, liking him for the first time since she’s met him. “Sure. Sounds interesting.”

“Meet us tonight, then. I’ll text you some directions.” Luca grins, stupidly high. 

Maeve almost laughs at how dumb he looks and is. “Okay. See you tonight.”

———

APRIL 20, BUT NIGHT.

She doesn’t expect the night to end like this.

One bloodied body at her feet, the life slowly seeping out of him as the crisp night air fills her lungs.

Another bruised but breathing one facing her, crouched and tense with a mere pocketknife extended towards her.

Maeve might have smiled at how cute it was that he thought a pocket knife was good enough, if not for the fact that she’s drenched in Luca’s blood. As awful as he is — was — he was still just a boy. He made her laugh. He reached out to her when she was a new face, and let her into his inner circle without a second thought.

“He didn’t have to die,” Maeve warns the other boy, with the gentleness and concern of a mother telling her child not to eat a scorpion.

“You’re the one who killed him, baldracca.” His voice shakes, and Maeve feels a pang of pity for him.

She’s sorry. He may not believe her, but regret and grief both overwhelm her now. She’s just become better at withstanding it, is all. She knows how to carry it now: the way the shadow plays with the light, how pain intermingles with pleasure, how love and loss are long friends who always stop to chat and hold hands. She knows how to suffer it quietly. 

“You came to attack me. To steal from me. And,” now it’s her turn to tremble as she considers the worst, “who knows what else.”

“You were charging way too much—”

“Luca was a rich little boy, mommy’s favorite,” Maeve interrupts harshly. “This has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with power. You wanted to teach the little girl a lesson. You wanted to see if you could make her cry and scream.” Her grip on Little O turns white. “You wanted to make her weak.”

He doesn’t say a word — for a moment.

When he finally speaks, he seals his death.

“You’re not a drug dealer,” he says slowly, as if coming to the realization himself. “You’re a Cap—”

Maeve’s knife sinks into his chest before he can finish the word. She holds it there for a moment, meeting his eyes and hoping he sees the tears in her own. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispers one second before she pulls the knife out.

———

APRIL 23.

It’s a testament to how far buried the old Maeve Petre is — how quickly she returns to normalcy.

She attends another party, keeping an ear to the ground as Verona mourns the death of Luca and Angelo (that was his real name, Angelo). They’re not sure who murdered them, or if it was a murder at all.

Maeve doesn’t have to pretend to be too choked up to speak. The others go as far as to comfort her, patting her back and saying awful, horrible things like, “We all know Luca was your favorite, Maeve. We know he loved you.”

Loved me? She swallows back a scoff, and it burns her throat on the way down. He wanted to rape me.

When they ask her for something to ease the pain, she summons everything Olivio taught her to revive her spirit. With the same, affectionate grin that Maeve has become known for, Maeve pulls out a small packet of powder and drops it into their hand. “This one,” she says gently, “is on the house.” It will come out of her own pocket, if it has to.

“Thank you, Maeve.” Mia tucks it into her pocket and is about to walk away when Camilla interrupts.

“Do you have something... different?”

Maeve blinks bewilderedly. “Like... weed?”

“No, no. Like shrooms or acid, you know?” Camilla looks around with a faraway look in her eyes, as if she’s not seeing any of them at all. “Just something different.”

She remembers a project Theodora has mentioned, a rumor she’s heard on the wind... “I may have something, but it’s super underground. I’m not even sure if they know how powerful it is yet.”

There it is: a familiar spark in Camilla’s eyes whenever a reckless and novel adventure appears. She’s learned to capitalize on it; she’s learned to use it to propel her own name among Verona’s young and careless. “Can you get us some?”

Maeve hesitates. She knows nothing of Theodora’s project, and she knows nothing about how much she’ll be able to get her hands on. But she also knows Camilla loves to be a part of something exclusive, something urgent, something inaccessible and otherworldly.

She also knows Theodora is the best in Verona at delivering exactly that.

"You know that it’d be kind of risky, right? It hasn’t been tested that much, and I don’t want to be responsible for anything bad happening to you, Camilla...”

Like Luca.

Mia puts a hand on Camilla’s arm as if to stop her, but Camilla shrugs it off. “I’m in.”

Maeve smiles and winks, though her heart hurts and her throat aches with a need to scream her lungs out. “I'll see what I can do.”