#but it exists for a reason

[tigergirltail]

Seeing a fair number of posts lately from transfems wishing they had known a trans person who would have told them when they were younger that they're trans, and it's been bothering me. First of all because it puts the onus of responsibility on this mysterious, cool, older, wiser transwoman to break the egg out of their shell, which I thought we agreed was a toxic ideal back when we called them Manic Pixie Dream Girls.

Second, and more importantly, because in the ideal scenario, in which the egg is very definitely a closeted transgirl, and the more open transwoman is genuinely just trying to help the egg find her true self, being forceful about it can set that discovery back years, even decades.

Source: It literally happened to me.

In my late teens, I played an MMORPG called City of Heroes, and my best friend in that game would later reveal to me that she is a transwoman. As I aged into my mid twenties, we got to meeting up IRL and going to anime conventions together, and she'd inevitably broach the topic of me trying more feminine presentation. Not even telling me she saw signs, just subtly trying to steer me in the right direction. She was particularly enthusiastic about seeing me in a skirt.

Every single time it happened, I'd get mad and shut down.

There's a psychological phenomenon in which, when someone holds a set of deeply held beliefs, and those beliefs are challenged by verifiable evidence, the cognitive dissonance causes the person to double down, and hold to those beliefs even harder. That's why right-wingers are Like That, but it applies just as much to all of us. I'll get back to this concept in a bit.

When I was around 15, an anime aired in Canada called Cardcaptor Sakura, or Cardcaptors as it was localized. Something about the exact stage of development I was, and seeing Sakura getting to set aside her mundane responsibilities to dress up in cute costumes and go out on magical adventures, it called to my closeted little girl heart. I have a vivid memory of staring in the mirror, holding my hair to look like Sakura's and imagining myself as her. As a girl. I have many more memories of looking at feminine characters and thinking "gods I wish I could look/dress like that", but Sakura was the first.

I kept it fully to myself, because I had grown up in the late 80s and 90s - before the word 'transgender' was commonly known, before media depicted us as anything but objects of mockery or horror. It was a deeply ingrained and societally reinforced belief that Boys Are Boys and Girls Are Girls, and never the two shall cross.

So when my best online friend tried to convince me to be more feminine, that cognitive dissonance would kick in and I'd shut down. Even though she was objectively correct that I was a closeted transgirl, it was her word against the word of my entire upbringing and societal viewpoint.

What actually helped, what actually put a dent in my egg, was the fact that she simply existed as a transwoman, she was visible and proud. That existence challenged my preconcieved notions in a way that could not be resisted.

From there, it was a matter of time and continued exposure.

Another friend who explained to me what 'cisgender' meant, and who eventually started leaning into transmasc presentation. A romantic partner who came out as genderqueer and helped me understand the concept of 'nonbinary'. Transgender content creators who posted about their experiences online - special shoutout to demilypyro and assumptionprime, two of the most influential voices for me while I was figuring this out, but far from the only ones.

The shields of my egg were down. It was primed for hatching.

On April 22, 2022, I was looking up some fanart of Hex Maniac from Pokemon X/Y, who I had cosplayed at a convention three years before, and thinking of how good it felt to wear that dress. How good it felt to look like her. How good it felt… to be a girl.

-CRACK-

…Later that day, I went to my old City of Heroes friend, practically begging her for help. How do I know if HRT is what I want? How do I know if I should transition? How do I know if I'm really a girl?

She knew. She always knew. She tried to tell me, but I wasn't ready to listen. Not yet.

The point of all of this is that one transperson telling an egg they're trans is not a solution to the problem. The problem is that society has tried very hard to make us the outliers, to make us the weirdos, but society is losing that war. If you want to help the eggs of the world, be visible, be proud, and treat being trans as something normal and beautiful. Don't tell them unless they ask, just… be there.

Eggs hatch when they're ready, and not a moment sooner.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Oh, and by the way… She got her wish in the end. I wear skirts now.

[n1ebieski]

So many pieces of art to make but I forgot how

Time to restart from the beginning

[technically-human]

He did eventually sign it

[thegleampt2fromtheglowpt22001]

ppl on Twitter have for no reason I can tell rediscovered Mighty Jill Off, thee cute indie platformer abt lesbian BDSM from 2008. I have no idea why it's gaining traction again but I just thot u all on here wld like 2 b part ov that 2

[tariah23]

Okay, I said I wasn’t gonna spend too much time on twitter but oh my god!?!!! This is so COOL!?? He looks amazing, omg…!

I’m glad they gave the actor another hairstyle because every black person is absolutely tired of the Killmonger mohawk/comb over 😭!!! One day, we will be free- but anyway, it looks like the name of the anime is “Kawagoe Boys Sing!”

[deecotan]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

We're going on an ass kicking adventure.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[maeo-png]

peter lukas enjoyers how are we feeling tonight

[revercemii]

scribblescrible

[lazylittledragon]

what if i broke all the bones in your legs actually

[sabellart]

i completely forgot to share my destiel kid oc here

her name’s aubrey :)

[sepezzz]

this stinker, Tma character sheet #6!

[starcurtain]

I think one of the funniest things about the Sabzeruz event is that the devs choose to go with Candace, Traveler, and Paimon having a whole "Ooh, two mysterious men are going into an alley to have a 'private' conversation; they must be bad guys!" only to then go "Oh just kidding, it was only Alhaitham and Kaveh doing typical Alhaitham and Kaveh things."

Except the "Alhaitham and Kaveh" thing in question this time was talking about Mehrak, a sentient robot that Kaveh built using absolutely forbidden technology, and which he then whole-heartedly willed would develop a consciousness of its own, violating one of the central taboos of his nation's governing agency, committing what amounts to an inherent and extreme felony punishable by law.

Alhaitham and Kaveh: Listen, we're not bad guys discussing illegal activity here. We're just two men having a private, personal conversation. Happens all the time.

Paimon, Candace, and Traveler: Oh cool, they're not doing a crime; they're just gay.

But they were, in fact, doing a crime.

[melioristicbeast]

"Knock knock! You boys up-" "NO! You can't come in, he's not DECENT!"

Stiles stilinski makes goo eyes at and jealously hoards soft derek hale send tweet

Part two of the brainworm @nerdherderette's request gave me (: Derek in stiles' clothing - the pajama bottoms are my own though (10+ years old target purchase, sadly not available anymore or i would've purchased a backup pair)

In my heart of hearts soft derek in comfy clothes makes stiles go HEART EYES MOTHERFUCKER in a markedly different way from nudity (◡‿◡✿)

[fight-nights-at-freddys]

i am. so tired of people acting like the internet is made for kids, or is in any way kid-friendly, bc it’s just not. are there sites that are more catered to kids? yes, but that does not make the entire internet *for* kids.

social media sites in particular are not for children. just because an app says “13+” does not mean that A) 13 yr olds should be on the app, or B) that you suddenly don’t have to monitor your kids online experience, or block/filter certain things.

i’m also tired of pretending that the “you can look up anything on google and find explicit content” is a valid argument bc that has nothing to do with the creators of the content, but everything to do with the algorithm (and i’m tired of ppl acting like safe search doesn’t work. half of the time it censors perfectly normal content).

just. watch your damn kids on the internet. it ain’t my responsibility to do it for you, and i’m so over nsfw artists being blamed for, god forbid, putting what they want on their own pages.