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k3rm1e · 3 years

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dadza & sbi

a continuation of yesterday’s ask-

hiiii i know i haz been lurk 🐮 Anoon for a good bitz but I haz an idea fro DadBoyHalo and Dadza(sepretz courze!!) havingz to take care of their very chaos childrenz(DadBoyHalo wif Sapnap + reader, Dadza with SBI + reader) ówò?

Thankz yuuuu!!!

-🐮 Anoon

🐮anon i am here with dadza! thank you for the patient waiting ;-;

i am referring to the samsung refrigerator as sam bc i have no clue what to address her as (ﾟωﾟ；)

this also went off track but whatever lmao

cw: swearing

dadza:

phil did not expect this when he decided to have kids. in the beginning, he was only planning on the one. wilbur was the sweetest kid ever when he was born. never caused any trouble, was peaceful. hell, the kid seemed like he would rather play music 24/7 before yelling at a single person. then again, his wife was always too caring.

when he traveled to the nether with sam, taking his son with him for the first time, he didn’t expect to acquire another kid. they were walking along an old path that had been made year before, when suddenly wilbur started shouting, pointing at a small pink figure.

the baby piglin was surrounded by bigger, larger piglins. they were trying to take his gold as he fearfully warded them off. sam, with her large heart, urged phil to go save the child as she protected wilbur. through a long fight with grunts and yells, he had saved the kid.

“hello, young one. are you alright?” the piglin regarded him suspiciously, not knowing if he would hurt him. phil, from the corner of his eye, saw the kid eyeing the gold on the ground. “you want your shit back, mate?” phil turned around and quickly picked up the goods. “here you go, kid.” and from there, he had suddenly acquired another ward.

within the next few years, tensions rose. the young piglin, who phil had named technoblade, was slowly learning english. he wanted to learn how to fight, to protect himself and not end up in a situation like the one phil had saved him from. sam did not approved of this, ever the passive refrigerator. phil and sam argued nearly all the time. wilbur and techno began spending more time together, out of the house.

“techno, it's not your fault. you know that right?” wilbur was walking with techno, his guitar on his back. the house was no longer a good place to hangout, so they walked into town.

“well of course its not, wil. i know that, at the very least. i’m just trying to protect myself, the same as phil does. in the future i could even win competitions, make us some extra money.” the two boys were walking and talking, when suddenly they ran into a loud blonde kid who was with someone else they couldn’t really see.

“hey! watch where you’re going, kid!” wilbur yelled a the shorter blonde, who knocked him over.

“oh, fuck off, will you? i didn’t mean to, you don’t have to be a prick about it.” wilbur looked flabergasted at this, a kid much younger than him having this type of mouth?

“hey! do not fucking speak to me that way, do you understand?” wilbur pointed at the two kids, looking like a so-called ‘karen’ in the internet compilations.

“oh come on, dude, you just swore and you look only a few years older than me! don’t be a fucking hypocrite.” you looked sternly at the brown-haired male, watching his mouth open and close, like a fish.

“wilbur, you know we both swore at that age. give them a break, will ya?” techno was smirking at the two of you, knowing he was pissing wilbur off.

“ugh, whatever techno. fuck off, mate.”

the two boys continued walking into town, done with the conversation. but your blonde friend, apparently, may not have been. “c’mon! let’s follow them!”

“uhh, why tommy? it’ll bring us nothing but trouble.” you were confused at what tommy was getting at, but you knew it was nothing good.

“and? trouble is my middle name, obviously.” he grabbed you hand and began dragging you in the direction the boys went.

when you arrived in town center, wilbur was seen talking to a shorter girl, while the piglin was arguing with a figure wearing green. tommy turned to you, “i’ll go talk to the cool one, you can go talk to the cunt who berated us for swearing.” knowing that once tommy made a decision he wouldn’t change his mind, you gave in.

walking over slowly, you noticed when you caught the boy’s attention. he looked over to you and his face darkened. “not you again… what do you want?”

“who’s this?” the girl he was talking to you looked over to you. you smiled at her and told her your name. “that’s a nice name. i’m niki.”

the two of you shook hands and she moved over for you to sit down. wilbur, begrudgingly, allowed you to sit and chat with them. for about three hours, you all sat talking. after a bit of pleading, wilbur had pulled out his guitar and was playing you a song. that was, until tommy ran over with techno as they were being chased a boy with a smiling mask, a boy with a white headband, and one with strange glasses.

“techno! what the fuck did you do now!?” wilbur stood up and began yelling at the piglin.

instead of a response, he was met with tommy screaming, “STOP CHASING ME, YOU FUCKIN’ BITCH! THIS IS CHILD ABUSE, I AM A MINOR!!! A MINOR!!”

“god fucking damnit, tech!” wilbur jumped up and dragged you with him. now all three of you were running from the boys.

once you had arrived in the forest clearing, wilbur was immediately on technoblade and tommy’s asses about what had happened.

“what. did. you. do.” wilbur was staring at them, his hands on his hips.

techno tried to explain, before tommy cut in “wilbur, i have done nothing. i was simply being a respectful citizen-”

“those terrible cunts were being terrible bitches to us, wilbur! they were threatening the blade here, saying we couldn't fight. but i showed them!” tommy seemed incredibly proud of himself.

“techno, what did this demon child do?” wilbur was staring at nothing, looking dead inside.

“i am now participating in a duel with dream tomorrow, at 4:20 P.M.” wilbur looked extremely pale at this, like he was begging god for mercy.

the four of you walked back to phil’s house. wilbur felt too guilty to leave you guys in town, especially when tommy had gotten into a fight with dream.

when you arrived at the house, phil immediately pulled you in, seeing that you guys were covered in cuts and bruises. when you went in, sam was nowhere to be seen.

“what the hell happened? why are there two very dirty children with you and why is techno smirking like that?”

after an explanation from the two of, phil began tending to your wounds. “wilbur, techno, go clear out the guest room for these two. we’ll talk more tonight. once you and tommy were nicely bandaged and clean, you were sent to the guest bedroom.

“you think we’ll be safe here, tommy?” you turned over to look at your friend who was in the bed across from yours. for years, you had been living on the streets, surviving off the bread the nice lady would provide you with.

“of course we will. we’re big men, you know that. besides, did you see techno over there? we’ll be just fine.”

“thanks tommy. love you, mate.” you smiled at tommy.

“night. love you too, big man."

in the morning, at the duel between technoblade and dream, it was suspenseful. even when you felt like he would lose hope, techno pulled through. even if sam had left and and was now in the dump, phil knew it would be okay. he acquired to new kids and would make sure they had a better life than the one they had before.

i hope you liked this one 🐮 anon! <3

#mcyt x reader #wilbur soot x reader #tommyinnit x reader #technoblade x reader #philza x reader #🐮 anon

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chibivesicle · 3 years

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Golden Kamuy chapters 269-270. The cliff notes meta edition.

This will be a less detailed meta as I’ve just been spread too thin recently and the current events of the manga have been underwhelming to me, making it harder to engage with the content.

Having an online presence has been a double-edged sword for me and as we mark 1 year of pandemic life, it is hard for me to invest as much time in it since I have to do so many more things online for work. Sitting down to write meta isn’t as fun and relaxing as it once was when you have 7 zoom meetings over the course of several days. Add on the fact that I have not left the county were I live since February 2020 nor I have a seen any of my family or friends . . . yeah writing meta isn’t a much of a priority. As an aside, I think more people need to be stating that being ‘productive’ and ‘leveling up’ during these times is either unrealistic and even more damaging by creating completely unrealistic expectations of how we should respond to things.

[steps off of soapbox]

Chapter 269, quickly shows us how the chaos that Tsurumi unleashed on the divided Ainu resulted in a tragedy and Wilk is the only one who managed to survive the massacre.

Tsurumi is able to sort out that there were eight Ainu, and that Wilk staged his own death by working quickly to conceal the identity of the dead partially by removing the eyes.

Kikuta is the first one to find the man who dies soon after discovery and Tsurumi seems to be in awe of Wilk’s escape plan.

KIkuta also shows he’s a more empathetic individual worried about how they contributed to the death of Ariko’s father. Did Tsurumi push Kikuta away after the war since he knew Kikuta would feel bad about doing the ‘things’ needed to be done for the gold?

It further highlights that Usami and Kikuta were never on the same page. I do like how the following page shows both Kikuta and Ariko continuing to tie the narrative that Kikuta feels a connection with the younger man. Shiraishi and Sugimoto spot Ariko, calling him Ariko Ipopte, which is an interesting choice to use a hybrid name for him. Kikuta uses his full Japanese name, while these men use a mix.

The final panel showing a reflective looking Kikuta walking alone in the rain really emotional connects with the grief surrounding all of this unnecessary death. Tsurumi sought to be a leader of men by giving them love and being the stand in father for them. I think that Kikuta is the character who is the natural and honest father figure - we know he has a deep relationship with Ariko and we also know he has some sort of connection to Sugimoto.

Tsurumi continues his ‘discussion’ of events with Asirpa and Sofia. Tsurumi has such a complicated relationship with Wilk. He’s both in awe of the man’s determination to survive but at the same time he wanted him destroyed at such a great cost.

Tsurumi really lays on the guilt to Asirpa that Wilk did everything to protect her - under the assumption that she’d be unfairly treated if her father had killed all of those men. Perhaps that is the case, perhaps not. It seems contradictory to his own actions where he gave Ogin and the Lighting Bandit’s child to Huci to care for it. He has this weird approach to the impact of the ‘sins of the parents’ on the child . . .

Tsurumi doggedly pursues Wilk and they immediately recognize each other and he flees onto the lake with his canoe. By shooting at Wilk, he forces him to capsize the canoe and items sink down into the lake. Honestly, I’m not sure what Tsurumi was hoping to achieve by this - make him swim so that he could capture him more easily. We don’t know how skilled Tsurumi is with a rifle and I’d be more concerned about killing Wilk and loosing the information. It seems reckless in my opinion since the ultimate outcome was Wilk appealing to Inudou thus achieving protection from the 7th.

I think Tsurumi was fueled and blinded by his emotions which only made things more complicated and drew the hunt for the gold out even longer (to the present time).

The rest of the chapter explains how Kiro felt. First, the grief at the loss of Wilk, trying to move on my having a family, but ultimately coming back to realize that Wilk was still alive after the war. Really, Wilk underestimated Kiro’s intelligence since he figured out that Kimuspu was the seventh man, not Wilk. As a Kiro fan, I of course favor him, but he really showed he’s a good leader and actually willing to take risks. What is most important is that having a family only lead him to want to fight for them - even more.

Kiro sees the flaw in Wilk’s plan of Hokkaido as an independent unit as a place for various native peoples, while ignoring all of the logistical issues that Kiro already pointed out to him previously. The Far Eastern Federation has the flaw that it is connected by land to Russia, but would me much harder to lay siege to. But Hokkaido as an island could easily be cut off - and with not much industry within itself, you still can’t do a whole lot with all of those raw materials if you can get industrial technologies from elsewhere. If it were blockaded they’d be screwed. Sure, you wouldn’t starve, but you wouldn’t be able to advance quickly. All that gold and nowhere to spend it.

Thus, Kiro believed he was acting in regard to their original goals and had no choice but to remove Wilk from the equation. As Wilk had become the very wolf that he had observed as a child and played with its pelt. That is some next level foreshadowing by Noda, if I do say so.

In the end, Kiro remained much more committed to their fight as partisans than Wilk did. You have to give it to him, he stuck to his original plans and he died believing he did the right thing. Now, looking back at how upset Sofia was when she first saw Kiro, we know why she slapped him in the first place. I’ll take it to mean that she was upset by Kiro’s actions but at the same time understood what he did. But then Sofia let it go, as she would soon go on to also speak fondly of Wilk and his desire to be like the wolves. Therefore, I don’t think Sofia was completely angry with Kiro, instead she knew the decision that was made and perhaps, she too, would have understood that there were divided in their goals once they moved on with their lives.

The next chapter starts off with the bottle mobile boys and Ariko on horseback as they determine what to do next. Sugimoto is amazingly still not rushing in like a maniac which is out of character for him. Are you okay Sugimoto? Or have your encounters with Kikuta and Boutarou begun to have an impact on you without being aware of it?

The settle on letting Ariko go ahead, even though he doesn’t answer their question. I’d say he doesn’t have a clue what side he is on. He likely cares about Kikuta. But he wants to see Asirpa succeed since he feels ashamed by his own approach towards life in Hokkaido as an Ainu.

Off he goes alone to figure out how to rescue Asirpa. Really, a terrible idea since sure he’s a tough guy, but we don’t know what his fighting skills are like in the first place. . . . At least he isn’t a hothead, so sending him in alone will be less of a disaster than Sugimoto.

The action returns to Tsurumi trying to turn up the heat on Asirpa. She asks him about Kiro’s fingerprints at the crime scene - a lie that Tsurumi fed to Inkarmat to get her to help him. He writes it off as him doing a good thing for her - she closed a chapter of her life - then again - he doesn’t know that Koito let Tanigaki and Inkarmat escape. The next several pages are a slow psychological technique that builds up to Tsurumi reveling that the bullet that killed Fina and Olga had been from Wilk’s pistol. Dum da duuum!

So, according to Tsurumi it is Wilk’s fault all those Ainu died. That he should have never left Russia for Japan. That even his time in Russia resulted in Fina and Olga’s deaths. Everything is Wilk’s fault!

This page ends with how Tsukishima let go of the woman he had loved and his memory of her - yet Tsurumi kept the bullet and the finger bones of his family! We can see that Tsukishima is barely holding it together, so upset by this knowledge!

As a master manipulator of people, Tsurumi thanks Sofia for what she has contributed to the story - he can help her feel better by telling her that she did not kill his wife and child. . . . on no, he only uses it as a way to add even more pressure on Asirpa!

To Tsurumi, Asirpa is no child, she is the direct tie to all of his anger and pain and his twisted soul.

I mean, he kept Wilk’s skinned face and he’s using it to get her to break! What is more interesting is after the initial shock, Sofia quickly regains her calm while Asirpa - well she’s clearly buying into Tsurumi’s explanation of things.

She is thinking about how her father ‘turned’ Tsurumi into the person he is before her . . . . I’d be willing to say that Wilk influenced Tsurumi - as much as Tsurumi influenced Wilk. Yet, Tsurumi as a human being is responsible for his decisions and he alone can respond to them in a constructive or destructive way. It is clear Tsurumi went for the latter.

Sofia’s calm in this pressure situation is clear as she asks him if it was for revenge. She’s a smart woman and has lived long enough to see these types of things through.

Tsukishima is ready to kill Tsurumi - it would make him a hypocritical leader - having him let go of his own earthly attachments only to serve a man bent on revenge. Koito is listening closely as well, unsure of how he’s going to respond.

Tsurumi makes it clear he could have killed Asirpa any number of times. I think this is another case of Tsurumi playing a verbal slight of hand. He’s asked if he’s doing this out of revenge, and his answer is - I haven’t killed her yet. Gee, based on how messed up you are Tsurumi, we both know that there is more than one way to take revenge. Killing someone in retribution is one way to take revenge or the worse way - make their life a living hell. It is clear that Tsurumi is going for the second one to break Asirpa.

There is a dramatic two page spread as he explains that he is doing this for Japan - and the implied increasing militaristic activities of the late Meiji government to expand their domain.

If feels - like a performance to me as a reader. The pages are remarkably light in tone giving it an optimistic and feeling of purity. Yet, Tsurumi is a broken and corrupt man . . . cruel in his intentions. He only says this as a way to combat anyone who were to contradict him . . . .

It is too perfect - too convenient - too good for Koito and Tsukishima to believe in my own opinion. As both of the men seem relived to have heard these very words as a type of closing statement.

Tsukishima looks relived that Tsurumi is continuing on the behalf of all of their fallen comrades and families. Again, this sounds too perfect like Tsurumi’s speech isn’t for Asirpa nor Sofia, it is for Koito and Tsukishima who are eavesdropping. Since Tsurumi is a next level planner/manipulator he likely came up with this well rehearsed speech to placate all issues around his inability to move on from his family’s death. It makes him look mature and that he’d moved on from his more basic human needs.

Koito looks like he’s trying really hard to believe Tsurumi and how Tsurumi’s words would comfort Tsukishima. But is that how you really feel Koito? That face looks - so - fake. Like Koito is overdoing it again and is actually unsure how to react. So, he he looks elated, Tsukishima will feel better - or something.

What I really want to know is why they are just there hiding and watching Tsurumi? If they are wanting to think independently and beyond Tsurumi why do it while hiding? It seems no matter what either man may think, they are still under Tsurumi’s thumb as far as how they react to his behavior and the current events.

And I’m gonna have to hold things here while I find a way to read the more recent chapters with non-shady software to decompress the files since I’ve been using Mangadex the entire time I’ve been reading GK (in addition to the english versions of previous chapters).

#golden kamuy #golden kamuy meta #asirpa #tsukishima hajime #koito otonoshin #kiroranke #tsurumi tokushirou #sofia #wilk #sugimoto saichi #Shiraishi Yoshitake #warrant officer kikuta #ariko rikimatsu

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steve0discusses · 3 years

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Yugioh Ep 35 S4: Raphael Joins the Pile of Dead Bodies

Ah 2020, thankfully we have one trashfire somewhat behind us, but I’m still avoiding social media for so many obvious reasons because of all the other trashfires that just never seem to stop burning, so lets talk about Yugioh with all of this newfound time.

Ah, card games. Card games that go on for 6-7 episodes. Lets see how they pad it out:

In a lot of ways, Roland really is just padding for the show, and that’s OK. He’s doing his best, by doing literally nothing but stand outside and check the time.

Inside the dusty soul chamber, Tristan has decided to do us the favor of recapping what happened last episode, which included the return of our four dead friends, so that they could die...again.

Seto’s reaction to seeing these dead people suddenly alive again was very “guys...I went nuts like years ago, I’m just going with it at this point.” and he’s still 100% positive that this is all a hologram and that no one will ever die.

Whatever it takes for Seto to get out of bed in the morning, I guess.

(read more under the cut)

One of the big mechanics the game is that you need to stay level headed, or the Orichalcos just kind of slurps you up. This explains a little why Dartz is so freakin chill basically all of the time, just the Bob Ross of evil over there. It also is sort of funny because Pharaoh and Seto are the least chill people to have ever lived so he’s just kind of waiting it out to see whom between Seto and Kaiba gets the most angry first and completely botches it.

Yugi has to do literally nothing and for the first time in his life this is the right choice.

I’m so glad he gets to use his big brain move of “If I don’t play, no one dies!” from S1. Glad it came back to serve him for once instead of just make everyone else really annoyed.

Yugi just...not moving means it’s now Seto’s turn to put down some cards, and he kinda looks over at Pegasus and goes...well you know what’s gonna happen next.

I have no idea why he didn’t attack Pegasus. Like this episode is kind of weird because we got these flashbacks of Pegasus being like “you’re my only hope, Yugi!” and it’s like wtf, Pegasus trapped you on a murder island and tried to kill you multiple times. He abducted Mokuba and turned both the Kaiba brothers into cards.

yo did Seto and Pegasus get back together in between seasons or something? Was there a whole character development where these two have fun brunches in San Fransisco now? Because I would watch that anime. I would watch the anime where Seto and Pegasus are co-hosting Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, and just destroying every unsuspecting local restaurant they brunch in.

But are we just assuming that the eyeball did all that evil stuff from S1 and that otherwise Pegasus is a good person? Because like...he was a mess before he got possessed. He’s kind of a Yugi, he’s kind of a Bakura, he’s kind of a Marik...in that there’s a mess in that bean, and getting possesed just only amplified what was already there.

So, with his smug as hell grin, Seto surprises Dartz by only barely getting affected by this inescapable moral dilemma and Seto just very quickly deciding to do a murder. And then we get a little blimp throwback to S2 (S3? I don’t even remember at this point, since we’ve been stuck in S4 for an entire year. Thanks 2020.)

If blocking the shot when Marik did it in S3 or S2 or whenever that was, didn’t get Mai to like Joey, then it shouldn’t work if you do it a second time.

But hey, I guess it’s better than letting her perma-die. Although this show desperately needs to figure out how to use Mai if they’re gonna keep her around, youknow?

Like all ships are fine and valid here, ship whatever you want to your hearts content: I don’t ship at all, as you know, but I hope one day they give Mai a personality that is consistently likeable. I do want to like her because she’s like...good at what she does when she plays cards and can be that can be a fun “hey I’m a girl but I’m not a freakin ‘gamer girl’ you male chauvinist assholes” type of character. But, the show just...the show doesn’t know what they want outside of a little romantic tension that they legally can’t follow through because of a 5-6 year age gap with a teenager.

This show actively tries to destroy this ship, and then turns around and is like “oh shoot this ship is all we have.” This show tries to lift up Mai as a feminist icon one season, and then tears her down for being “too” feminist the next season when she decides to--youknow--kill Joey Wheeler because he made her feel weak or something when he saved her life.

Like the show does a lot to explore weakness and strength, and how what we see as weakness is actually strength, and how what we tend to attribute as strengths is actually weakness, and how our modern career/school/success expectations set us up for failure, but I think they explored that way better with Seto than they ever did with Mai.

Could’ve been cool Mai, you could’ve been cool.

Anyhoo, that was my spicy commentary on a 10+ year old anime, good to get it off my chest.

Seto and Yami have the typical problem they have whenever they play cards together, where one goes completely rogue. Except this time, the one going rogue isn’t Seto, it’s Yami. He’s just like...I’ll make life for Seto very difficult and I will lose this game and I don’t even mind because I’m already dead, deal with it.

So honestly this is an episode where it’s just Seto demanding we kill a bastard, and Yami being like “but not THAT bastard” and Seto just shrugging and saying “I have to kill A bastard, Yugi! Just CHOOSE one!”

That actual line in the show (I forget what it was exactly) does infer that Seto thinks Joey holds him back, and that implication speaks miles about Seto’s insecurities.

HOW THOUGH..........what are you jealous of, Seto?

You’re better at cards than he is, he’s never beat you at anything. It’s not about who’s best friends with Yugi because...Yugi’s possessed so Yami is always going to take first place...

......so what could it possibly BE?

Seto doesn’t attend school anymore, is it about that? Is it because Joey is likeable? Is it because Joey pretends he has a much older girlfriend? I mean hypothetically, Blue Eyes White Dragon is WAY older than Mai so...that can’t be it.

.....what IS it???

Does the “friendship” he have with Joey make Seto too soft? Is that what’s holding him back? Because Seto doesn’t actually think he’s friends with these people and says that Yugi and co are “Mokuba’s friends” so like....

.....what are you talking about, Seto???

Is it because you’re addicted to cards again? Because that’s...sort of Joey’s fault because he was the one who told you he needed a ride to Jacksonville, and then let slip that the “King of Games” title was up for grabs, is that it?

Are you just tired of Joey asking you for a ride?

Not like it matters, because Joey survives, and Seto gets to feel like a complete asshole about it.

As Raphael (who is this purple blur here) motorcycles into the dome of souls, Rolands last words were

“You can’t go in there!”

which was the weirdest thing to say to a guy you just saw fall down a 50 story building a few hours ago. Raphael not being dead should be the thing Roland fixates on, but instead he’s seen so many people die and come back to life, that he’s only concerned that Raphael will get in trouble for trespassing.

Again, Roland is the only Kaiba that hasn’t died yet, and it’s because he’s the only Kaiba that hasn’t broken the law.

Dude. What if the reason Roland is standing outside is because he’s been politely looking for the doorbell to be let in?

...the players asking for death...like clockwork...and me asking for the end of this freakin game...we played...1 turn this episode...

This episode was 1 turn!

And you may ask...well what else could possibly happen to stretch this out and well...

Raphael dives in on a motorcycle to save the day. Which is an aesthetic, by the way, this huge man covered in like a dozen belts, doing a wheelie jump into a chasm of 1 million souls. that’s an aesthetic.

So he shows up, gets off his bike and I was like “Oh good, someone to maybe save Yugi saving Joey saving Mai?” And instead, I was...not given that.

Mostly Raphael is here because he ALSO wants to kill Dartz, and is like “can I join? I know you’ve only played like 1 round, just deal me a new hand, it’ll be fine.” and it’s like...we already played the Orichalcos Raphael, this is not a game of Uno, you cannot just jump in.

Dartz is sort of obsessed with how everyone around him has potential for evil except for him, the chillest human to ever be born, and I gotta say...when he’s in this room...Dartz has a point.

+++++++++++++RANT ABOUT BEING PERFECT FEEL FREE TO SKIP++++++++++++++

It is sort of nice to have the concept of an older generation (in this case 10,000 years older) fighting with a younger generation. To have the older, more typically wiser generation say “Listen, I kinda screwed the planet and the war economy and the prison system...and I’m gonna keep doing that...and you can’t stop me because you’re a bunch of hypocritical dumbasses.” and then the younger generation say. “We don’t care if we’re a mess, dude. We aren’t the problem here.”

I may be putting some recent topical STUFF into this mold here, but it is a nice little analogy that they made even someone who is such a human disaster as Yami and Seto “morally good” enough to fight Dartz. You don’t have to be a perfect Harvard Grad to fight the system, you don’t have to be an entirely problematic-free savior, you can be even as problematic as Seto Kaiba--just get rid of the dumb assholes trying to destroy the world. That’s all.

Like this concept is strangely prescient because in 2020 we’re in a weird time period where if you aren’t perfect, you’re not allowed to have opinions. You’re not allowed to make content. You’re not allowed to make change. This is mostly an online problem in places like twitter, but it’s a real problem--because in the end what you’re left with is no one that wants to step up to the plate because they know that they, too, are flawed.

And like not even just as a political thing, even as a creator, as an artist, I see this problem more and more with kids. Kids who are like “I am afraid to draw because what if I do it wrong and I get dragged on twitter years later?” or “I want to make a story, but I’m afraid to get cancelled because my fantasy story has problematic stuff in it? Am a bad person for wanting to write it?” And it’s like...what are we doing to young creators right now? Did we all fail humanities? How have we failed art and literature SO badly that we’ve come to this point that people are too afraid to even learn how to do it right?

Anyway that was a tangent, but like...you see the similarities, right? That if you really were as perfect as Dartz either politically or creatively, you’d be a freakin monster and would probably just tear down everyone else around you on twitter rather than lift other people up. It’s a stretch but eh, it’s been a while since I went on a good Yugioh tangent and like

---it’s not like I can say this on twitter---

+++++++++++++++END OF THAT RANT+++++++++++++++++++

So it’s at this point that Dartz turns to Raphael is like “I mean...we weren’t really doing anything else, and Yugi and Yami are playing so slowly...I guess I have time to bust your nuts” and decides to bust his nuts.

Oh hey, I was right.

And yeah, that’s still effed up. Dartz killed his Raphael’s family, left him on an island, and then adopted him later after forcing him to dig up their graves. Like...Raphael, that’s effed up.

He also did the same thing to everyone else (and for Valon he just kinda glazed over that really fast because we had to edit his backstory out of the English version)

PS at this part Mokuba started sweating bullets and Tea leaned over and was like “Is this true, Mokuba?”

And Mokuba was like “...yes.”

Because, I don’t think Mokuba can keep any secret from Tea. Like for reals, Tea may be the most dangerous thing to all of KaibaCorp if she wasn’t so distracted by Yami’s endless string of problems. Mokuba is constantly telling them all of Seto’s deepest darkest secrets and there is like nothing Seto can do about it.

The animation of Gozaburo turning into a beautiful Dartz was just a simple fade to white, but man--imagine if they had dome some crazy effed up animation where Gozaburo just whips back his head and he has ass length blue hair and long, luscious lashes?

Imagine.

Anyway, this was enough for Raphael, who was already our most gullible and unstable person on this show, to just flip that switch and go lime green like all those other minibosses before him.

Really glad we built up Raphael for him to just die at the door hahaha.

That was so freakin random.

OK then. Thanks for nothing, Raphael.

I guess we go to the next episode to see if we finally play another turn? We can hope for good things. But if we don’t play a full turn I will NOT be surprised.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

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artificialqueens · 3 years

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Galactica, Chapter 75 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Previously: Everyone had a pretty chill Christmas Eve.

This Chapter: Christmas Day. Let’s see how long the fun lasts...

***

It was stupid. Very stupid. Bianca knew it was stupid, and yet she couldn’t help her mind from spinning, from torturing her with weird little anxieties, vague feelings that she couldn’t properly pinpoint. She’d been dating younger women for years, and never given so much as a second thought to their parents. But somehow, something about seeing Courtney’s mom tonight had caused her to obsess…

Here they were, together in a gorgeous place, Courtney warm and soft in her arms, the scent of her familiar and comforting, and yet Bianca was anything but relaxed.

She really needed to chill. But the more she squirmed, the more her restless mind spun out, the more she realized that she wouldn’t be able to calm down until they talked about it.

“Court…” she whispered, moving aside her hair to press a kiss to the back of her neck.

“Mmm,” Courtney sighed, snuggling backwards, clearly content, and Bianca felt a stab of guilt. Should she really be waking her? She’d had such an awful week, and she was finally resting.

Bianca bit her lip, holding her tighter. Maybe it would be better to just deal. After all, they could talk tomorrow. She swallowed, resigned to let it go for now, until Courtney spoke again, voice sleepy.

“Are you okay, baby?” Courtney asked, shifting.

“Yeah, I just...I have a question about your mother.”

“What?” Courtney’s eyes opened and she turned towards Bianca. “What about her?”

“Well…” The truth was, Bianca wasn’t totally sure why it had popped into her head. She’s only spoken to Courtney’s mother twice before. The first time was a few weeks before, after Courtney had told her about their relationship. It had been a bizarrely casual conversation, considering the circumstances, Courtney’s mom kneeling in the garden harvesting vegetables while they chatted.

And then there was tonight. Perfectly sweet, perfectly pleasant. Something didn’t add up.

“She was just really friendly. Really...nice.”

“Well, she is nice.” Courtney still looked slightly puzzled, her brow furrowed.

“I just kind of...was expecting her to hate me a little bit.”

Courtney laughed, wrapping an arm around Bianca’s waist. “How could she hate you? You’re so lovable.”

“Don’t you think it’s a little weird that she like...approves? I mean, I want her to approve. But I kind of figured I’d have to work for it.”

“Yeah. I mean, I get what you’re saying. But, that’s just her, I guess...” Courtney shrugged, resigned. “She and Dad have always just kind of let me do my thing. They’re not really big...disapprovers.”

“Okay. If you say so. I was kind of worried that she might just be like...faking the whole nice thing while planning my murder.”

“Nah,” Courtney chuckled. “They have their own age gap, you know.”

“They do? As big as ours?” It was hard for Bianca to tell how old Courtney’s parents actually were; her whole family looked like they belonged in a J.Crew catalogue.

“Well, no, it’s like 10 years. But in a way it’s worse, because they met when Mum was like 15.”

“Yikes...”

“Exactly. So it would be hypocritical for them to disapprove of us.”

“Being hypocritical would never stop my mom from disapproving,” Bianca told her.

Courtney laughed, curling up against Bianca and pulling her close.

“I promise they’ll be cool. And once they meet you...they’re gonna love you.”

Bianca smiled, pressing a cheek to the top of Courtney’s head. It was nice that Courtney could be so sure about her family’s support. Bianca still had her doubts, but she supposed for now she could let them go.

“I’m sorry for waking you,” she murmured. “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. With presents.”

“You better,” Courtney giggled, snuggling in closer.

***

“Hey, not so fast!”

Kelly rolled her eyes, pulling her robe closer around her body as she watched her dad snatch her little brother up, putting him on his hip so he couldn’t race down the hall.

“But-” Owen pointed towards the living room, but Detox covered his little hand with his own.

“I know champ,” her dad smiled, “But Auntie Fame’s things are expensive.”

“And ours aren’t?” Juju was holding Julia’s hand, her mom waddling along. She looked exhausted, even more so than she usually did on Christmas mornings after staying up all night wrapping presents.

It was early, way too early if you asked Kelly, but her siblings had refused to stay in bed for another second.

“Darlings!” Fame smiled brightly as they rounded the corner. She was wearing a white sweater and white lounge pants, an outfit like that the most casual Kelly ever saw her. “Come quick, or we’ll simply drown in presents!”

Kelly saw Julia’s eyes widen, her mom releasing her as Detox put Owen down, and the twins ran over to the tree, a regular mountain of gifts underneath it. They began to tear into them like wild animals, shrieking and squealing over every gift.

Kelly rolled her eyes once again, saying, “You know, teaching them to worship at the altar of commercialism and become good little corporate consumers is really bad parenting. You’re totally giving them warped values.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Juju turned towards her, a look of irritation with just a hint of amusement on her face. “I didn’t realize that you were so against material things. I guess you don’t want this…”

She pointed towards a box wrapped in red and white striped paper. Kelly shrugged, pretending not to care, as she knelt down and slowly peeled the paper off, revealing a brand-new MacBook Pro. Exactly the one she wanted. She turned towards her parents with a big grin.

“I mean, I’m not against all material things…”

“Right.”

“Thanks,” she laughed, smiling wryly and giving her dad a hug then reaching towards her mom.

Juju smiled, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head before settling down on the sofa.

Fame leaned over Kelly’s shoulder and handed her a purple gift bag. “I agree with you about the material culture, dear one. So here’s something that’s...more of an experience. From me and Uncle Patrick.”

Kelly moved the tissue paper aside to look in the bag. When she saw, her eyes nearly bugged out of her head. Six VIP tickets plus backstage passes to see One Direction at Madison Square Garden. She leapt up and flung her arms around Fame’s neck.

“Thank you thank you thank you!”

“You’re very welcome, my love. I hope you have a wonderful time.”

“Kelly?”

Kelly looked down then to see her little sister tugging gently on her pajama pants.

“Yeah?”

“This is for you.”

She handed over a small, clumsily-wrapped present--she’s clearly done it herself, which was pretty cute. Kelly unwrapped it slowly for extra drama, prepared to ooh and ahh over whatever trinket her sister had gotten for her. Inside the paper was a small clay heart, glazed with purple.

“It’s purple because that’s your favorite color and a heart because I love you,” Julia said, her brown eyes earnest. Kelly scooped her up into her arms.

It had been a hard adjustment, when the twins were first born. Going from being an only child for the first 13 years of her life to suddenly dealing with babies who constantly needed attention was a huge pain in the butt. And now with this new baby coming, plus the pressures of high school, Kelly had been fairly checked out where her family was concerned. However, sometimes it was good to remember that the twins weren’t all bad.

“I love you too, and this is beautiful. Thank you,” Kelly told her, and got a big, beaming smile on Julia’s face in return.

“What was that about bad parenting and the wrong values?” Juju asked from the coach, smirking deeply as Owen climbed into her lap to show her his new sandbox dump truck.

“Uhhh...you know, you guys aren’t the worst parents,” Kelly admitted with a laugh. “I guess the new one can stay.”

***

There were few things in the world that made Bianca happier than giving presents to the people she loved. Even when she was a kid, when there was no money, she used to leave tissue paper flowers and scrunchies made from fabric scraps on her sisters’ pillows, and she never came home from 7-11 without a 100 Grand bar for her mom.

It was easier now, of, course, when she could turn every passing whim into a present, a chance to show her love. She laid a wrapped box on the pillow beside Courtney’s peacefully sleeping face and began to gently rouse her by trailing her fingers up and down her arm and whispering in her ear.

“Mmm…” Courtney made a wonderfully contented little sigh as she stirred.

“Merry Christmas, my love…”

Courtney turned toward her, a sleepy smile on her face as she held out her arms.

“Kiss me.”

“Don’t you want to open a present?”

“Kiss first,” Courtney pouted, and Bianca happily obliged, kissing her deeply as she hoisted herself up into a seated position beside Bianca, the sheets falling away to reveal her bare chest.

“So...is tits out the rule this vacation? Because I could get behind that.”

Courtney laughed. “I mean, if you agree to the rule, then…” She let her gaze drift downwards, landing on Bianca’s satin bra, then looked back up pointedly, raising an eyebrow.

“Mine need support. But I'll give you a peek whenever you want.”

“Okay, fine,” Courtney giggled, pulling her in for some more lazy kisses. Once she was properly loved up, she leaned back on the pillows with a sigh.

Bianca grinned down at her, dimples deep in her cheeks as she turned her attention to the presents, ready to spoil her silly.

First, there was the sparkling silver star-shaped clutch bag, positively stuffed with jewelry.

“I had to be strategic about packing,” Bianca explained, when Courtney peered inside the clutch and gasped with delight. She pulled every item out individually, exclaiming over how utterly perfect everything was. (And Bianca had to admit to herself, she’d done an excellent job picking things that were exactly to her taste--the multicolored sapphires were a big hit.) Once she’d gone through that bag, Bianca brought over the rest of the gifts: extravagant shoes, clothes that were tailored to perfection, a faux-fur wrap that would be perfect for evenings out back in New York. The best part was Courtney’s reaction, watching her eyes get bigger and bigger with every new item, seeing her happy face shining happily.

“I have presents for you, too!” Courtney exclaimed at one point, jumping up from their bed, which by then was covered with unwrapped gifts, to grab a few items from her new suitcase. She turned back towards Bianca, the expression on her face a bit shy, saying, “They’re not...um…very big, but-”

“Come here.” Bianca gestured to the spot beside her on the bed, then held her close as she slowly unwrapped the gifts that Courtney had clearly so lovingly chosen for her. A stunning, out of print book on 1960s fashion, a vintage Hermès scarf in the bold red that Bianca wore all the time, and a pair of truly perfect art deco-style earrings.

“Do you like them?”

“I love them,” Bianca told her honestly, truly touched by the obvious care that must have gone into picking them out, and only a little concerned about how much she must have spent. “Thank you so much, angel.”

Courtney grinned, lifting a hand to cup Bianca’s cheek as she kissed her hungrily.

“I have one more for you,” Bianca said, once they separated, getting up to find the little Tiffany’s bag in her carry-on. “Well, two more, actually, but one of them isn’t really something you can wrap. And it’s not exactly...finished. So we can save that for another day.”

She retrieved the bag and headed back to the bed.

“Is it the fact that you’re taking me on this dream vacation?” Courtney said, “Because I think this counts.”

Bianca shook her head, sitting down beside her, chewing on her lip, unsure why she suddenly felt so anxious.

“So...um, this was kind of a late addition. I just thought, that maybe...um...here.” She finally just handed over the bag with a slightly uncomfortable chuckle.

Courtney’s face looked curious as she carefully pulled off the ribbon from the small Tiffany’s box and opened it, gasping when she saw what was inside.

“B, is this…” Courtney touched the little sterling silver heart, then the black key fob attached to it.

“It’s keys to my place,” Bianca clarified. “Because I really...I would really like it if you moved in with me.”

Courtney’s eyes were wide, and Bianca couldn’t tell at first if she was happy or horrified. It was soon, of course Bianca knew that, but she felt strongly that this was the right thing to do, for both of them. She continued, heart in her throat.

“I love you so much, Court. And I don’t want you to go back to that place. I...I want you with me…” She reached out to softly caress Courtney’s cheek. “What do you think?”

“What do you think?”

Move in with Bianca? Move in to a fucking Upper East Side penthouse? Courtney’s brain felt scrambled, like a cartoon character who’d been hit over the head with a frying pan, as she tried to figure out all the reasons the universe would just not let something like this happen to someone like her.

“But...what about my lease?”

“Please,” Bianca scoffed. “That place is violating about 27 different rental codes. You can get out of it easily...if that’s what you want. Is it...what you want?”

Courtney gazed at Bianca, disbelief turning to breathless excitement and then sheer joy as she lunged forward, face buried in Bianca’s hair.

She was hit with a visceral memory, of watching Bianca from afar at the Halloween party less than two months ago, the stabbing pain in her chest as she watched her flirt with someone else, the inexplicable desire that had caught her completely off-guard, made her worry that she could never be worthy.

The fantasies that started out so small...the feel of Bianca’s fingers on her skin, what her lips would taste like, soon spiraling out of control and making Courtney feel crazy.

And now, Bianca was hers. Not only loving her, but loving her so much that she wanted to live together. It was almost too much to comprehend. Courtney was absolutely beside herself, nearly dizzy with happiness as she clung to her tightly.

“Is that a yes?” Bianca asked softly.

“Yes!” Courtney exclaimed, squeezing her eyes shut. “Yes, yes yes!”

“Perfect…”

***

Murni was watching everyone unwrap their gifts, her house filled with chatter and laughter, a smile on her face.

Her children had arrived just before lunch, she and Raja deciding years ago that one of Sutan’s presents was that he didn’t have to wake up before 8 to make the drive out to Long Island, since her son was born with a sleeper’s heart.

[Ah!] Raja grinned, pulling the last of the wrapping paper off of her present. [Mom, you didn’t have to-]

[I did,] Murni smiled, watching as Raja held her new cookbook to her chest. It was the exact same one she had in her own kitchen, the pages even a little wrinkled too, the text entirely in Indonesian.

While Raja and Sutan didn’t have that much contact with their cousins, aunties and uncles back in Indonesia, Murni was emailing with them every single day, one of Raja’s aunties stumbling over the cookbook at a friend's house and offering to send it over.

She hadn’t had the time to keep so closely in touch with her relatives when her kids were little, when both she and her husband had to work full time to help support everyone, but now, that was a different story, Raja and Sutan coming together to pay her mortgage, utilities and basic bills every month.

[Thanks mom,] Raja pressed a kiss against her cheek, her lips incredibly soft.

Murni Amrull had never expected to end up in America. When she was younger, she and her husband had both worked in Jakarta, Raja and Sutan watched after by their grandparents in the small village they came from outside of the city, mainly seeing their parents on the weekends.

They were happy enough, but her husband had always wanted more for them. He had suggested that they try the America visa “lottery” game, and Murni had agreed, not even her wildest imagination allowing her to believe that they’d succeed.

And then. They had.

She had been hesitant, scared of the changes and scared for how their children would handle something turning their world upside down, to be taken from everything they knew. They were just kids after all, but her husband had kissed her forehead and told her that it would all be okay, and she had believed him.

They had found their home in a tiny house in a suburb in Iowa, a cousin of a cousin knowing someone they had worked with that was looking for hardworking people, and that had always been her husband.

[Open one of your presents mom,] Sutan smiled, putting a small, neatly wrapped box on her lap.

[Sutan,] Murni raised an eyebrow, but Sutan just grinned, her kids always showering her with presents even when she told them not to.

Murni had never thought she would celebrate Christmas, her faith in Islam a cornerstone in her life even after their move to a brand new country.

Everything she believed in, however, changed one day when her children had come home from school, their small faces looking so very different. Sutan was crying, his whole body moving with desperate sobs as he clung to her, while Raja looked like a thundercloud, her rage ready to tear everything and even herself apart.

They had been made fun of and bullied for not celebrating Christmas, and Murni had felt true heartbreak that day.

She could still remember how outraged she had been, how her husband had called their school, his broken English not even getting him past the secretary. The shame from those desperate days still crept up on her sometimes.

She remembered how it felt like they had tried everything, but everywhere they turned they had been sent away, no one interested in helping the weird new family that all smelled of spices they didn’t know, and had a skin tone they had never seen.

That year Murni had bought a small tree and presents for her family, cooking up everyone's favorite meal to eat together around the table. The presents they had given had been almost embarrassingly small, a tie for her husband, a denim jacket for Raja and a comic book for Sutan, but she had seen the pride on her children’s faces as they walked off to school in January, both of them glowing, and knew she had made the right decision.

In a storm, even the proudest oak could break, but a reef always survived.

“The next one is for you, Violet!” Raven grinned, getting up on her knees to hand it to her. She was sitting on the floor, already wearing the brand new diamond earrings Raja had given her.

“Thanks,” Violet smiled, leaning forward on the couch so she could take the present, her lip between her teeth as she looked for a card.

When Sutan had called and told her he was bringing someone to Thanksgiving, Murni had thought he was joking, but she was so glad he hadn’t been.

Violet was quiet, shy and painfully polite, so unlike Kahmora who Murni had never liked, and even Jinkx who was overflowing with positivity but whom she had only met briefly, the relationship and engagement ending before it had begun.

It had taken her a while to get used to Raven, to see what her daughter so clearly adored in the dark haired beauty, but she had come to love her in time, and was happy that they had decided to get married.

“There’s no name on it.” Violet looked around the room, clearly a little unsure on what she was supposed to do.

“It’s from me.”

Murni watched as Sutan raised a hand, a smile on his lips as he watched her opening the box, her jaw dropping as she pulled the wrapping paper aside.

“Sutan, another?” Violet looked up, her eyes wide, a tan box with Louboutin on the lid on her lap. “You didn’t have to- You already gave me-”

“Open it.” Sutan got up from where he had been sitting on the floor, walking over to Violet to sit down next to her on the couch, watching as she slowly peeled the red tissue paper.

“Wow…” Violet seemed speechless as she slowly turned her new shoe in her hand. Murni didn’t know much about fashion, but it was gorgeous with lilac suede, golden details and a pointed toe, the heel impossible long.

“I saw the lilac, and knew you had to have them. They’re from this year's fall collection, and I’d like to add that I found them all by myself.” Sutan smirked, looking mighty proud of himself and so like his dad. “You can’t wear them yet, of course, but you only have a few weeks left with your cast, and I figured-”

“They’re beautiful.” Violet looked up at him, gratitude clear on her face. “Thank you.” She leaned in, pressing a sweet kiss against his lips, Murni only just getting the camera out in time to catch the two of them grinning at each other.

***

“No, Katya!”

“Why not?! They’re so cute!” Katya pushed the open box of flannel pajamas towards Pearl.

“Because! There’s little bunnies in Santa hats! I have a reputation,” Pearl crossed her arms.

Katya was already wearing the matching pajamas, and so was Trixie, as he set up the tripod and camera for a family photo. But Pearl was part of their family, and so Katya wanted her included.

“What, you’re too good for bunnies?” Trixie asked with a smirk.

“No, I just...you guys…”

“Pleeeease, Pearlie-Pearl? Pleeeeeease?” Katya batted her lashes, giving Pearl her very best puppy eyes. “One little tiny picture...for Killer?”

“Ugh, fine! But you have to stop using Killer to get your way. It’s emotional manipulation.” Pearl took the pajama top out of the box, slipping it on over her white tank top.

“Oh, I know. Never again,” Katya lied, grinning.

***

Violet couldn’t wait for the blessed day when she wouldn’t need her crutches anymore. She was making her way back from the bathroom, being as careful as she could not to knock anything over.

Murni’s house was filled with trinkets; flower pots, small figurines, bowls and vases and even crystals taking up every available surface.

It was homey, and lived-in, the house clearly cared for and beloved in a way that made Violet feel safe, the scent of incense and home cooked food engulfing her in it’s comfort.

Violet made her way down the hall towards the living room, the entire wall filled from top to bottom of pictures in golden frames. The first time Violet had visited, she hadn’t stopped to look at it, too preoccupied with the pain of her ankle and all the new impressions, but today, she paused when she spotted a picture of her boyfriend as a child.

It was taken outside, what looked like wild jungle in the background. Sutan was wearing a red t-shirt and holding a large fruit Violet didn’t recognise. He was smiling at the camera, beaming with pride, both of his front teeth missing as he presented his treasure. She could just about make out the date in the right corner, 1978, the picture taken with one of those old cameras that time stamped it.

“Ah, there you are.”

Violet turned her head to see Sutan peak down the hallway. He was smiling, his expression so like the one on the photo, even though his hair had grayed and he had his two front teeth.

“I told Bunda to put this stuff in an album like a normal mom,” Sutan stopped next to Violet, looking at the wall, “but she’s always done it this way.”

“It’s nice.” Violet hadn’t meant to take such a thorough look, but with Sutan at her side, it was hard not to get swept up in this obvious display of how much his mother loved him.

There were more photos of Raja and Sutan than Violet could count, showing their growth from tiny toddlers to full adults. As she looked, Violet spotted photos of a much younger Raven with short hair, of Juju with bleached blonde weaves, of Fame in an orange jumpsuit she’d never wear today and even Bianca with so much kohl around her eyes you could barely see them.

“Oh,” Violet’s eyes widened, as her gaze landed on a photo of Sutan and Raja. “Is that… Did you have pink hair?”

Sutan and Raja were standing side by side, Sutan’s arms around Raja’s waist, a gigantic grin on both of their lips. Sutan’s short hair was dyed pink, while Raja was wearing denim on denim on denim.

“It was 2004, and I haven’t listened to Detox since.” Sutan grinned. “That’s the problem with the wall. Once something goes up. It never comes down.” Sutan tapped a photo, and Violet looked at it, the bottom of her stomach falling out.

It was a photo of Sutan and a woman Violet didn’t recognize. She had caramel colored hair and golden skin, her brown eyes looking directly at Sutan, her smile as big as if he had hung every star in the sky.

It didn’t make sense, but it was clearly a wedding day photo, Sutan wearing a suit, the woman in what had to be a designer dress, a gigantic seven tier cake behind them, plates in their hands.

“Violet?” Raja opened the door to the hallway, Raven right behind her. “Bunda is asking how you want your coffee?”

“Ah!” Raven grinned. “Are we going down memory lane?” She skipped over, coming to stand right behind them. “Which one’s your favorite, Violet? Wait. Ew.” Raven made a disgusted sound. “Are you really looking at those ones?” Raven pointed to the wedding photo, and Violet realized with a sense of horror that there were several more, the woman popping up again and again in pictures that were collected in a little cluster.

“I…” Violet felt her head spinning. She had no idea Sutan had ever been married, and she had no idea who the woman was.

“Can you believe I wore that suit?” Sutan tapped the photo again. “And here I was, thinking you could never do wrong with a Dolce.”

Violet couldn’t see anything wrong with what he was wearing, but it was typical Sutan to be bothered by what he considered an outdated cufflink or a wrong shaped lapel, her boyfriend vain over things that were rarely ever noticed by anyone else.

It wasn’t like she didn’t understand those feelings, but it was amusing to see him fret, the delight cutting through her anxiety for a second.

“Look on the bright side,” Raja smiled, “Divorce means that you get to try again.”

“And hopefully have your bride make better choices,” Raven smirked, nudging Violet with her elbow like they were on the same team, like this was some big joke they were all in on.

“Please,” Sutan rolled his eyes. “Your wedding dresses are going to look the exact same in 6 years time.”

“No they won’t,” Raven huffed, throwing some of her hair over her shoulder, “because we have style.”

“Tell me again how ear cuffs still look great, Rave?” Sutan smirked.

“Fuck off, Tan.” Raja, Raven and Sutan all laughed, heading back to the living room together.

Violet knew she should probably follow, but she shot one last look at the picture, watching the stranger who was apparently her boyfriend's ex wife.

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vamonumentlandscape · 3 years

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Charlottesville Part 1: Monticello

Before heading home from Richmond, we took a slight detour to visit another iconic Virginia city. Charlottesville is a picturesque college town, rich with history and many sights to see. We began our trip at Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello. With COVID-19 policies still in a transition phase, we ended up only getting Grounds and Gardens tickets. This gave us full access to the garden areas, the basement exhibits, the enslaved peoples tour (including the exhibit on Sally Hemmings), and the burial grounds. The only part of Monticello we did not get to fully experience was the home itself, but we think that gives us all the more reason to return in the near future!

Thomas Jefferson is a complicated figure. He is known as the Father of the Declaration and a beloved American President. He is also known as one of the most infamous hypocrites in American history. “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” These are the words written in the Declaration of Independence that we have all been inspired by as American citizens. It is undeniable that the revolutionary principles our founding fathers believed in created a nation today like no other. The ideas of a country free from the oppression of the “divine” monarchy, the belief that a democracy could thrive by the people and for the people, and the use of enlightenment principles to create an entirely new government is something we owe to our forefathers. We do not believe in discrediting men like Jefferson who had one of the greatest impacts on American history, but we believe that the whole story should be told. Literally and figuratively, no one should be allowed to be put on a pedestal without the full truth being unveiled. There is a fine line between patriotism and nationalism as we have seen in the years our country has developed. The man who helped create our fine nation was also the owner of slaves, a man who struggled with debt, and one who pushed Native Americans out of their own homeland. Again, our country would not be what it is today without men like Jefferson, but his full story deserves to be told.

Before the Slavery at Monticello tour, we decided to do a quick walkthrough of the basement level of Jefferson’s home. As a trained architect, Thomas Jefferson developed spaces for the main kitchen, a beer and wine cellar, an ice house, and more. We were fascinated to see the pulley system utilized in the beer and wine cellars to transfer goods up to the main parts of the home. It is important to note that the comfortable lives that the Jefferson family was able to live relied on the exploitation of enslaved labor. All spaces on this level have been converted into exhibitions and inform audiences of the people that worked within. Families that were featured included Hemmings, Gillette, Hern, and more. In truth, Jefferson was quite hypocritical when he wrote that “all men are created equal.” When we got to the far end of the house, we followed the crowd that gathered around three exhibition boards and a small room showing a short film. After the death of his wife, Martha, and upon his return to Virginia from France, Thomas Jefferson brought back Sally Hemings to Monticello. She was previously a “maid-servant” for his younger daughter, Maria. Hemings became pregnant soon after this return and it is almost certain that Thomas Jefferson, who owned hundreds of slaves, was the father. The title of “concubine” that was bestowed on Hemings is dehumanizing and limits any historical interpretation of her. They would have a total of four children together. Jefferson only freed a total of 7 enslaved people and they were all members of the Hemings family. However, Sally was never legally free after he had “given her time” upon dying. We highly recommend viewing The Life of Sally Hemings exhibit if visiting Monticello. It may make you question the legacy of Thomas Jefferson learned in schools around the country.

607. Over Jefferson’s lifetime, he owned 607 people. Our tour guide immediately gave us this number when we began our tour. After walking through the grounds and the basement, we began the Slavery at Monticello tour. Starting on Mulberry Row, which is named after the types of trees that line the dirt road, we saw small cabins and plots where these cabins sat. These were the homes of the enslaved people at Monticello. The one room cabins could not have been bigger than 12x12. With dirt floors, one stove, one bed, and a loft above that had extremely low ceilings, these cabins could have held anywhere from two to twelve people. Since many enslaved people had numerous children, the cabins were usually tight spaces. On the wall of the recreated cabin visitors could walk in to see a plaque that read “Not so bad?” Some people who have entered these small, nearly inhospitable spaces have made similar remarks, so Monticello has gone out of their way to ensure people know it was that bad. Enslaved families faced constant struggles like violence, separation, dehumanization from their “masters’, and much more that we cannot fathom. Moving forward in the tour, we had a fantastic guide who had been there for over fifteen years. She explained to us many parts and pieces of Mulberry Row and stories of those who lived there. “Sunup to sun down, six days a week,” she said, “Only small provisions were given each week per person to survive on, otherwise they had to find time outside of their work to grow more food.” She explained to us more of the personal stories as we went along. Jefferson owned a nailry, but the small working parts of the way nails were made required small people and small hands. Jefferson enslaved young boys from 7 to 14 to do this work. Once they had gotten too big to work for him the boys would be moved to other jobs on the plantation (also known as a labor camp) like carpentry, field work, or domestic works. Stories began to be more intimate as we went along as she told us more about the Hemmings family and the enslaved young man who attempted to free himself without success, James Hubbard. The personal stories they are able to tell are made possible through the research that the foundation has taken on, but more importantly come about from the stories of the Monticello enslaved. Without the help of descendents, our tour guide told us that they would not have been able to know half of the stories that they do. To conclude our tour, we asked our guide how things had changed with the tours she had given over the past 15 years at Monticello. “When I first started, the Sally Hemmings story was told much differently. We would have to say ‘there is a high probability that Jefferson is related to Hemmings’ to avoid scrutiny, instead of now where we definitively say ‘Jefferson fathered Sally Hemmings children.’ Also before being called Mulberry Row and the Slavery at Monticello Tour, it was the ‘Plantation Community.’” A lot of things have changed to tell the whole story at Monticello and it is encouraging to us all in seeing that both sides of Jefferson are presented equally.

Similar to other historical homes that had enslaved workers, there is a separate cemetery that was used for those that were white members of the Jefferson family. We had to ask a staff member if they could direct us to the small burial ground, and they were kind enough to oblige. We were able to see roughly 50 cross markers within a gated location in the middle of the parking lot. The markers were unnamed. We saw the toll that enslavement took on those at Monticello. Most of their lives were likely spent working for no pay with their basic human rights stripped away from them. There is ongoing work in and around the area of Charlottesville to find if there are other human remains of those that were forced to work for the Jefferson family. Unfortunately, the grave of Sally Hemings has yet to be found, but we are hopeful that this discovery will be made in the years to come. Thomas Jefferson is undoubtedly a very complicated figure in our history. Our visit to the African-American cemetery that followed the Slavery at Monticello tour was essential in understanding why historians continue to debate his legacy.

#monticello #history #virginia #thomas jefferson #charlottesville #enslaved #monument

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mssjynx · 4 years

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6, 7, 38: ohmtoonz?

ohmtoonz drabble | 6. coffeeshop!au | 7. childhood friends | 38. “i think i would rather eat expired spam.”

The sound of the steamer filtered into the white noise of the busy cafe.

Luke moved in autopilot, wiping down the metal prong as he filled the metal jug with milk, hooking it under the steamer and getting two mugs in place just as the espresso started pouring. The tray clattered as it landed on the bench beside him, Craig’s cheerful humming breaking Luke’s attention as he spun the milk and tapped his fingertips on the metal.

The younger barista began stacking clean cups atop the machine and Luke spared him a glance before tightening the steamer knob and retrieving both mugs from the coffee machine. As he poured, Craig finished stacking, but the Brit didn’t remove himself from Luke’s side. He stayed, waiting, as Luke finished the two drinks and placed them at the serving counter, calling out the name assigned.

As he began flushing and cleaning the machine, he glanced to his coworker. “Can I help you?” he asked, shoulders tense at the glint in those blue eyes.

Once, just once, did Luke want to have a normal conversation with a coworker who wasn’t plotting something devious.

“We’re all going out for drinks tonight,” Craig said, wiping down the bench as Tyler strolled past and gave him a pointed glare. Luke had already wiped down said bench, but Craig was notorious for finding bullshit reasons to get absolutely nothing done while looking and behaving productively on his shifts.

It had gotten to the point where their boss had stopped bothering him about staying on task and Luke had a hunch it had something more to do with Craig’s flirty looks and insistent physical contact than it did with Tyler’s lack of care. There was definitely more going on behind the scenes that any of them knew about.

“I got study to do,” Luke said, starting the next two orders and turning to fetch a fresh jug of milk.

Craig remained by his side. “Too bad. And you need to bring a date,” he said, stealing the rag off Luke’s shoulder and heading out the door to where a few tables needed bussing. “It’s for Scott’s birthday and he doesn’t have enough friends, so he wants us to all bring someone new to the pub,” he explained further, not bothered in the slightest when Luke ignored him to take another order.

When the bench was clear and Craig was nudging the mini-door open with his hip, plates lining his arms and mugs grasped safely in his hands, he passed a serious look to Luke. “You have to come and you have to bring someone.”

“I’ll bring Jon,” Luke responded, wiping his hands and checking the next order.

Craig scoffed. “No you won’t. We all know who Jon is and he’s on the list. He’s got someone that he’s bringing,” Craig explained, handing a piece of cake to a customer and starting the next few coffees.

At that, Luke laughed, grinning at Craig for a moment before acknowledging that the barista was being serious. “The fuck? Who?”

Craig shrugged, continuing on as he lined up four more drinks. “Find someone to bring, or I’ll organise a tinder date to show up for you,” he said and the two paused in their conversation as Luke handled three more customers before taking a tray of used mugs out the bag to be cleaned.

When he returned, he resumed with a short, “I don’t have tinder, dipshit.”

To which, of course, Craig replied: “Yeah you do. I made you one on my phone last night.”

Luke froze. “You what?”

“Yep!” Craig said cheerfully, ignoring Luke’s look of horror and anger as he tugged off his apron. “And if you don’t find someone to take tonight, I’ll be inviting Taleesha to come along with you. So text me who you’re bringing or I’ll text you her address,” he offered, voice calm and pleasant as if the conversation wasn’t absolutely absurd in every way. Luke had to force himself not to strangle his coworker.

“What the fuck, Craig?”

“Enjoy your shift,” he beamed, and the sparkle in his eye told Luke just how much the other man was enjoying his torment. “Bye Tyler!”

Before Luke could get in another word, the barista had fled the front counter and he was forced to serve, unable to intercept the Brit as he skipped out of the cafe and escaped Luke’s murdering-distance all too easily.

It wasn’t until the end of Luke’s shift did his stress about the night ease. It took a lot to distract the man when he was worried about something. It was just his luck that “a lot” happened to be a face he hadn’t seen in about seven years.

“Hello, how can I help you this evenin’?” The usual greeting fell from his mouth with no trouble at all, finishing an order off on the screen before looking up to meet a pair of hazel eyes and a soft, pretty face he hadn’t seen in a long time.

Said soft, pretty face was lined with disbelief as Ryan, his childhood partner in crime, undoubtedly recognised him too.

“Luke?” His voice had a warmth swirling in the barista’s chest and it took all of Luke’s strength not to jump the counter and gather the man up in his arms. The few seconds of disbelief passed and a grin broke out on Luke’s face.

“No shit,” he exclaimed, reaching forward without thinking. Ryan’s hand immediately came to his, catching his fingers and squeezing tightly. “Fancy fuckin’ seeing you.” The words fell with laughter and Ryan’s disbelief broke away to a smile that made Luke’s head feel fuzzy.

“Since when have you worked here?” Ryan asked, taking his hand back and reaching for his phone. “Could I get a caramel macchiato please?”

Luke jabbed it into the tablet. “Sure thing. I’ve been working here for three years; part-time while I study. How long have you been back in town?”

He had known Ryan since he was three. For God’s sake; the two used to take baths together. They rode to school together, they snuck out together, they planned adventures together and went on them together. They’d been stuck side by side until Ryan had turned twelve and had been forced to move school by his family. They moved to the next town over and Luke only saw Ryan a couple times each month.

Soon it became a few times a year, and then before Luke even realised it, he was finishing high school without having seen his best friend in over two years. He heard three months following his graduation that Ryan had moved to Europe to live with extended family while he studied, and he hadn’t been able to help the selfish and hypocritical feeling of bitterness over not hearing the news from Ryan himself.

Their gradual split had sucked for Luke but it was soon that he met his sister’s boyfriend Jon and the two had been like pees in a pod for their first few years of adulthood.

“I got back last week,” Ryan said slowly, tapping his card and moving aside to leave the space empty for anyone wishing to order. To Luke’s pleasure, the door remained shut and he was able to comfortably lean against the counter and study Ryan’s aged features.

“For- For how long?” He couldn’t stop himself from asking and the smile that broke out on Ryan’s face told him the answer before the man’s mouth did.

“I finished my degree and I got a job here. I’ve been waiting to move back for years. I… I missed this place so much,” he said and Luke so desperately wanted to tell the man just how much he had missed his best friend.

The barista started on the macchiato, steaming the milk and listening to the rumble off the coffee machine between them. Several times Luke caught himself glancing up at Ryan, only to find that the other didn’t seem capable of looking away from him.

“I can’t believe you’re here. You look- You look so different from when you- from when we were twelve!” Luke laughed and Ryan’s smile made everything else around him blurry. “You look good.” The words were tight in his throat as Luke poured the milk, focusing his eyes on the drink. He couldn’t help how his chest felt hot and his throat felt tight. Ryan, his best friend, was back and he was, to say the least, gorgeous. His eyes were soul-revealing in a way that Luke felt intimate just looking into them, and his smile was infectious like no disease Luke had ever caught before.

He was losing his mind and his fingertips burned with a need to touch the man, to embrace him, to feel that he was real and he was back.

“Can I ask you something crazy?” Luke asked, sliding the mug across the table and watching with apprehension as Ryan raised it to his lips and took a sip. The immediate smile of satisfaction left the barista preening with pride though he kept it to himself.

“Go ahead,” Ryan said, taking another drink as Luke mulled over how to word his thoughts without totally scaring the other man off.

“Are you seeing anyone?” It seemed his mind made itself up, words jumping from his mouth before the pregnant silence between them became awkward. And despite a slight flush of pink across Ryan’s cheeks, the other man didn’t have much of a reaction to the question at all. He shook his head lightly, taking another drink to perhaps prevent himself from needing to talk or explain or anything like that. Luke didn’t leave him enough time to consider it. “I have- I have a birthday thing tonight at the local pub down the road and I- Would you wanna come with me as my… my date? Or just a friend, of course. I just need someone to come with me and the last thing I want to do is bring the girl my mom is trying way too hard to hook me up with because, honestly, I think I would rather eat expired spam then spend more than two minutes with her.” Luke tried to ignore the embarrassing fact that he’d just rambled uselessly like a whipped teenage boy for a minute and a half as he held Ryan’s eye contact.

The other man had listened in silence, taking slow sips from the mug he cupped with both hands. And as Luke pursed his lips to stop himself from backpedalling his request or finding an excuse to escape the cafe all together, he placed his cup down on the bench and smiled with a bashful look in those pretty eyes. “Expired spam?” he asked and Luke let out a loud laugh. Relief. Hopefulness. Stress.

Ryan hadn’t outright rejected him.

He shook his head and hid his grin behind a grimace. “You have no idea just how bad it is,” he said and Ryan’s smile lifted all the weight off his chest.

“I’d love to come,” he said. “Is it a nice place?”

“It is at seven, but by ten everything gets a little chaotic and it gets a lot less nice and a lot more rowdy,” Luke explained with a half shrug. “Just wear a nice pair of jeans and I’ll buy you a cocktail; you’ll fit right in.”

Ryan’s smile widened, twisting the idea around between his fingers. “Well,” he said, reaching forward and picking up the pen on the counter. He reached forward and snagged Luke’s hand by his fingers. Quick and easy, he scribbled his number down onto the barista’s wrist. “Pick me up at 6:30 and I’ll gladly be your- be your date tonight,” he said, eyes flickering away from Luke’s as the pink of his cheeks turned red.

Luke felt his own face warm in fluster at the emphasis of the title, having given the man the option to accompany him to the pub as a friend. It seemed his afternoon was working out in the best case scenario and as he watched Ryan walk out, he couldn’t shake his smile. He had a great feeling about their upcoming night and he had never been more excited to go to the pub. He would go anywhere if it meant he could bring Ryan along as his date.

#ohmtoonz #fic #fanfic #coffee shop au #barista au #childhood friends au #drabble #banana bus squad #bbs #i fucking loved this one honestly #anon

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banashee · 3 years

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Part 3/7

"What do you mean, you LOST Steve?!"

“In my defense, he’s tiny!”

“ So are you!”

Tony puffs up his chest like a peacock, trying to make himself look bigger than the scrawny 12-year old that he currently is. Besides, that answer is kinda hypocritical, given that Clint himself is only 1 and a half inches taller than Tony is at the moment - or any given moment, actually. Even when Clint isn’t currently a teenager, that half-inch in particular seems to be important to him.

Tony is about to spit out a rebuttal for that comment about being tiny, but the older boy looks at him in utter confusion and disbelief, quiver dangling from his arm while he gestures through the air. Clint has no idea what’s going on.

All he knows is that he went shooting arrows and when he arrived upstairs, everything is in utter chaos and he’s being dragged through the hallway by Tony who keeps yelling that Steve is lost and they need to find him. And now they’re here, somewhere in the tower and not any smarter than before.

With a sigh, Phil interrupts their bickering. Just like Clint, he doesn’t know what is even happening. But since he is one of the designated parent-adults, it’s on him to figure this out. One would think that he’s gotten used to this in the last few weeks. After all, most of the team is living their lives as kids for the better part of a month now, but with these humans around him, Phil knows, things are never quiet for long, no matter their age.

He has the remarkable ability to stay calm in pretty much any situation. He’s got this.

“Boys, please. I’ve been gone for like 30 minutes, can anyone explain to me what happened here while I was gone?” While he finishes the sentence, Phil bats off the slowly extending arm of a plant that’s trying to eat his sleeve. The thing has taken over most of the floors occupied by the Avengers, spreading out at an alarming speed. Who knew that venus fly traps could be this… Invasive?

Clint shrugs helplessly. As confused as he is, he is worried about Steve. Because Tony is right, Steve is tiny , but it doesn’t stop him from seeking out all sorts of trouble. The main issue is probably that Steve manages to look completely innocent and adorable, even when he is about to set fire to something just to see what happens. It’s an issue.

“I don’t know, I’ve been shooting arrows downstairs. Then Tony came running and yelling about Steve being lost and I don’t know what’s happening. Tony?”

The younger boy looks uncomfortable, chewing on his lower lip and eyes flickering back and forth.

“Okay, so I know this sounds bad…” Hesitating for a moment, he looks up at Phil. The plant is sneaking up at them again, and Phil shoves it off - he would very much like to know how this much chaos ensured in such a short timespan, but then again, he’s learned lately that the kiddie-versions of the Avengers are, naturally, even more of a human tornado than usual.

Phil can also tell that Tony seems to feel guilty about something - he, as well as everyone else, has opened up a bit by now, but the trust issues are still very much present. Right now, he avoids looking him in the eyes.

“Please tell me what happened. No one is mad, we just need to know what is going on so we can help. And find Steve. How did he get lost?.”

Tony sighs, then he starts talking to the slowly extending venus fly trap next to Phil’s head, keeping his eyes focused on the plant while he explains as quickly as possible what happened.

“Okay, so I was in the lab with Bruce…”

*+~

Normally, the labs would have been off-limits for kids of their age. But then again, it would be more than a little far-fetched to call any of the Avengers “normal”, no matter how old they are. As it is, both Tony and Bruce are both highly intelligent and easily bored, although Bruce isn’t really one to voice that latter part out loud. He simply tries to find any kind of occupation that he can, which usually ends up being whatever book he can get his hands on.

Being quiet and invisible is what he does best. Knowing his file and the environment he grew up in, it doesn’t exactly surprise anyone, but they do worry about him.

Right now though, he seems to be happy enough.

Science is fascinating, and getting to share the excitement and learning new things with an older friend like Tony, is… Amazing.

As soon as the fear and weariness from the beginning of their age regression has worn off a bit, the two of them are oftentimes attached to the hip.

Tony himself had never really had friends before, especially friends he could share his excitement with. School is school, but his classmates are quite a few years older than him and don’t really care about hanging out with a 12-year old.

Meeting Bruce is like meeting a younger, much more quiet version of himself, and that is both fascinating and wonderful. The two of them get along beautifully.

Surprisingly, it doesn’t take long for them to get permission to use the science labs in the tower, although there are some general ground rules set and Phil and Thor quickly remove anything that might be too dangerous for the children to be around.

It works out, until this one day, when they come across a hidden drawer full of glass bottles.

To be fair, no one, besides probably the adult-versions of Tony and Bruce knew about that one, and the kids don’t really mean anything by opening it - Tony bumps into the side of the table with his knee on accident, and suddenly the drawer opens up.

“Ow! Oh hey, look at this!”

“What is it?” Bruce looks up from his experiment when he hears a bump and the older boy say “ow!” but then he sees what Tony is pointing at.

“Oh!” He climbs off of the chair - jumping really since his feet dangle in the air when he’s sitting on it. As soon as Bruce hits the floor, only a bit of hair is visible over the edge of the table.

“What’s in there? Are we even supposed to use this?”

“It doesn’t say… Hold on.”

Tony is curious, pulling out a few of the bottles to investigate their contents from the outside. Bruce on the other hand is getting nervous, uncertainty strong.

“We, uh, I think we should put this back. If it was hidden…” he trails off, chewing on his lower lip and shuffling his feet.

For a moment, Tony looks like he wants to argue with that, but then thinks better of it. Bruce is probably right. He is aware that being allowed in here without supervision is a privilege and he doesn’t want to jeopardize it, even though his curiosity is nagging at the back of his brain.

“Yeah, okay, you’re right.” He is about to just pack everything back where it was, but then it happens.

Tony knocks over one of the vials on the table by accident and jumps to catch it in time before it rolls off of the edge and hits the ground. Naturally, while doing so, he knocks over the remaining two and in a series of unfortunate events, glass breaks, and strange liquids mix up. Rushing to clean it all up, a few drops of the concoction drip into a nearby flower pot, and then everything happens way too fast. In a matter of minutes, the venus fly trap has grown unnatural amounts, and then two boys scramble to get out of the room.

~+*

“...So, an unknown substance got into a houseplant down there, it kind of mutated, spread out, infected other plants on the way. And now we can’t find Steve anywhere in this jungle?”

Phil sums it all up, admittedly assuming that last part, but it’s not far-fetched at all.

He is quickly walking alongside the two boys as they try to make their way through the mess.

“Uhm - yeah, pretty much.” Tony admits sheepishly, looking guilty as he pushes his way past another snapping head of venus fly trap. “We didn’t know where he was before, and now we can’t find him anywhere.” He looks guilty and miserable.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I promise.” he adds, careful not to sound too defensive, but not very successful.

“It’s okay, Tony, I believe you.” the boy in question doesn’t look entirely convinced, but he nods nonetheless. It doesn’t escape Phil’s attention that Tony takes all of the blame to himself, leaving Bruce completely out of it. But he is nowhere to be seen, so he needs to ask,

“Do you know where Bruce is right now? I’d rather keep everyone close together at the moment.”

“He went to tell Thor when we realized we couldn’t find Steve. I think they’re already looking for him, together with Nat, so I ran to get Clint…”

“You did the right thing. Now let’s go find the others.”

The three of them make a run for it, and finally, when they round a corner, there is Thor with Bruce, Nat and Lucky in tow.

“Any success?” Phil asks, worried, but glad that at least the rest of the family is together.

“Not yet, but we’re onto something. This way!” Thor adds, pointing in the direction where Lucky is shuffling with his nose on the floor.

“Wait, you’re letting Lucky search for him? That’s genius!” Clint pipes up, and it’s the first thing he’s said in a while. But his love and adoration for this dog has been clear from the second he’d set eyes on him.

“It was Nat’s idea!” Bruce offers proudly, while Thor is holding up one of his sweaters that was clearly the source of scent for the dog. Nat is beaming next to them.

The little girl had shaken her head no everytime someone would call her “Natasha”, always correcting that it was “Natalia”. The nickname didn’t take long at all to establish itself, and she seems to be more and more comfortable here every single day.

From the start, she’d spent most of her time either lurking in doorways or behind a corner, just watching everyone else around her, unsure how to interact or ask for anything. As young as she is, distrust and uncertainty of the people around her are a long standing habit already and it’s heartbreaking to think about.

The language barrier isn’t nearly as much of a problem as they’d thought - clearly, the Red Room starts teaching the girls other languages early on, making it easier to blend in. Now, spending so much time in America, Nat picks up more and more of the language every day, soaking up knowledge like a sponge.

But then again, she is also slowly warming up to them - the first person she latched onto had been Clint - if this has anything to do with subconsciousness or simply the fact that on the day they got turned into kids, he was busy throwing sharp and heavy objects on any adult trying to grab them, they’re not quite sure.

Unsurprising to anyone who knows the two as adults, they are a package deal, no matter the circumstances.

Clint himself, being the oldest of the kids, is both paranoid and protective - it has taken him by far the longest to warm up to any adult, even Phil and Thor. He’s okay with being around them, and even talking a bit lately because they’ve made it clear that they won’t force him or any of the other kids to do anything, and won’t come close unless given explicit permission. It works out better than expected, although it is still very much a work in progress.

None of this will stop him from putting himself in between the younger kids and anything that might possibly be a threat.

Right now, all of them have one collective concern though: find Steve.

As sweet and polite as he is, that boy is trouble. He’s curious, in general but especially here in this entirely new and exciting time for him.

To be fair, Avengers Tower is an adventure for everyone who comes here for the first time. For a 10 year old boy coming straight from 1928 it must be like living in a science fiction novel.

Regardless: this is the very same boy who thinks it is a good idea to climb out of windows and explore the outside of the tower, only to be picked up by a very confused and concerned Spider-Man, putting him back inside and shouting down a hallway,

“Hey Folks, I picked up a very small and very brave boy from your rooftop! Does he belong to anyone? hellooohoo?!”

So, yeah. This is indeed a very concerning situation, especially with a mutated giant plant in the house that takes over everything it can reach.

Only a few minutes later, their search for Steve ends with Thor wrestling aside a particularly nasty piece of plant, Lucky barking excitedly and making a run to lick all over Steve’s face, who indeed, sits on the ground, unharmed and completely unconcerned. His notepad and a few colored pencils are scattered around him, the green on the paper indicating that he might have tried to draw the venus fly trap that’s currently resting one head on his shoulder.

A shout of relief runs through the entire group, and Phil can only barely restrain himself from tackling the goddamn plant and pry it off of Steve. Whenever this whole age regression thing ends, Phil is pretty damn certain he’ll have lost whatever is left of his hair from stress at that point.

“Hi!” The bright smile on the little boy’s face when he greets the others is like the sun coming up. Steve carefully strokes the venus fly trap head on his shoulder, then reaches to the side and pulls away with a fork full of what looks like meatballs. Everyone else just stares for a moment, because what?

“Steve!”

“Steve! Oh my god!”

“Thank the allfather, you’re okay!”

“Uh. Are you okay?”

“What the fuck.”

“Language!”

“Are you… Feeding this thing??”

The questions come out in a messy jumble at the same time and Steve beams up at them.

“Oh, yes, I’m fine! This is Cleopatra, by the way. I figured, a plant this alive should have a name, right?”

“...You… Named and feed this thing. OK, cool. What the hell is going on?”

Phil blinks a few times, collecting himself. Everyone seems to be at a loss for words, but at least, all kids are safe and alive, and honestly, that’s probably all they can ask for at the moment. He’ll be bald by the end of the month, Phil is sure of it.

“So… What are we going to do about this?” someone asks, and the room is in silence for a minute or two.

Lucky is on his back, letting Steve rub his belly. Then, a leaf is slowly creeping up at him and the dog jumps, growling and putting himself in between the plant and the boy.

This is probably their cue to do something.

Together, all of them walk towards the end of the hallway. They’re not that far from their general living area, but there is a bit of space left, several doors leading to different rooms.

“You. Stop eating my jacket.” Phil scolds the plant and pulls it away from his sleeve. At this point, it’s useless to do so since there are more fabric scraps than actual sleeves hanging off of his shoulder at this point. Still, it’s a matter of principle.

The plant didn’t grow eyes, but Phil swears, if it did, it would have glared at him. Weirder things have happened here.

“I think we should somehow contain this beast, lest it’ll take over everything” Thor points out, carefully picking up a potted cactus from the windowsill, but too late - it snarls at him and he holds it away from himself as it makes its way towards his beard. He smiles at the thing, slightly shaking his head.

As much as he likes the chaos that comes with his teammates turned into kids, this is getting out of control.

“Agreed. We just need to find a room…” Phil trains off, looking down the hallway and weighting out their options.

“We never use the room in the back.” Steve points out, holding out the last meatball on a fork for Cleopatra to eat. She inhales the offering in record speed and then burps loudly.

“I’m still not sure if this” Clint gestures with his elbow towards the empty plate, since he’s otherwise occupied with wrestling one of the larger plant parts together with Lucky, who is biting at it to keep it away from the kids, “is a good idea or another problem.”

“Definitely not a good idea. But I honestly don’t care as long as it keeps this thing happy long enough for us to store it somewhere.” Phil grabs a handful of another plant, the mutated Monstera in his way and makes his way to the end of the hallway.

“Her name is Cleopatra!”

“Alright, as long as Cleopatra is happy for long enough to put her in a contained room, I’ll be happy.”

Phil will probably have to pay for this in the near future - but for now, he really doesn’t give a fuck. All that matters to him is that the kids are all safe and everyone is back together.

The seven of them spend a significant amount of their afternoon stuffing plants into the office, and when they close the door again, pushing in the leaves and extending heads of Cleopatra the Venus Fly Trap in an attempt to stop them from leaving the room, they simultaneously let out a big sigh of relief.

A few days later, the kids are busy kneading cookie dough in the kitchen, with Thor by their side and Phil working on his laptop in a corner, listening with one ear and smiling every now and then. It’s been a fairly uneventful day so far, which for them, is always a good thing.

They laugh, bicker and argue just like any big family would, teasing one another, stealing bits of chocolate and dough from the next person and generally having a blast.

It’s a good day, and they hope that they’ll get more of those in the foreseeable future, until there is a cure for the spell that will turn everyone back into an adult.

More or less secretly, both Thor and Phil want to make sure that their friends get to collect some nice childhood memories. Neither of those children has had an easy upbringing they know, and even though they are unsure if it’ll even work, it doesn’t stop them from trying. They love these people and they love spending time with them, one way or another.

“You dropped something!” Steve laughs, accompanied by the sound of Lucky shooting up from his blanket and in between their feet to catch the bit of dough. Thankfully, there is no chocolate in it, because no one can move fast enough to stop the dog from inhaling it.

“Too late. Oh well.” Clint bends down to Lucky, and is greeted with doggy breath and what Lucky considers a proper greeting - slobbering all over his face.

“This is not good for you, boy. I love you still.” he tells the dog, and holds his hands out of reach before Lucky decides it would be a good idea to lick them, too. They’re still covered in baking ingredients, after all.

Suddenly, the elevator makes it’s usual ‘pling’ sound, indicating that someone arrived just now. Just a moment later, a surprised yelp sounds from somewhere in the hallway, followed by

“What the hell?!” in Pepper’s voice, and then, much, much louder:

“PHIL!”

The man in question looks up from his laptop, blinking. Slowly, very slowly he gets up from his seat.

“Poop with knives.”

The kids turn around with regretful expressions and a silent “Oh shit” mirroring each other in their faces - it looks about right. Even Thor looks like that, although he pats Phil on the shoulder apologetically, leaving behind a large handprint with flour on his sweater.

“Ah, the wrath of Lady Pepper. Farewell, dear friend.”

Phil sighs on his way out.

“You got this, Phil! Sorry!” one of the kids calls after him, and it actually makes him huff a laugh.

“I’m really feeling the love there, guys. See you, later.”

The smile that Pepper greets him with is sugary sweet and murderous. One of her sleeves looks like it’s been gnawed on by a vicious venus fly trap…

“Pepper, hi. I’m terribly sorry about this, but I’m sure we can find a solution…”

*+~

23 - Hiding

#banashee writes #marvel fanfiction #65 Random Prompts #Of chosen families and utter chaos #kid fic #age regression

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yanderegameguys · 5 years

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Personal Rant about home life

Tw: it’s a long talk, abuse is described and emotions are explained in a terrible way

If you don’t want to read this that’s fine

My brother’s dad has Cancer...

Everyone needs to hear/read me out after I say this

I don’t actually feel bad or care

Why?

Because the man has mentally and verbally abused me my whole life all because I wasn’t his child

He’s an asshole that has to have control over everything you do

His problems are always worse than yours

He’s verbally and mentally abused me to the point where my therapist says I’ve become numb to how I feel about him. He’s NEVER treated me with an ounce of kindness which is why my mom left him but seeing as he was my younger brothers dad he got visitation.

Imagine you’re 8 years old and you have to get up for school at 7 pm but the tv is too loud in the living room so you go out and turn it down

The next thing you’re told is “If you fuckin do that again you little piece of shit I’ll make sure you don’t go to school the next day for a good reason” all because little me turned down the volume on the tv. My mom did hear and kicked him out along with the threat of telling my dad

Imagine being in 6th grade and your friend is along with you for the car ride home. The car slips on ice and dings another car. The next thing you know you’re being yelled at in front of your friend and being told that it was your fault he didn’t stop far away enough and slid into that car. That is was a 6th graders fault you suck at stopping properly when ice is on the street

That your mom works till 6:30 pm and he has to pick you up from school. But he doesn’t. You’re little brother is picked up but not you so by the time your mom gets done she’s fuming, not at you of course because she doesn’t expect you to walk home when you’ve been told to wait for someone to pick you up. School got done at 3:00 but you’re sitting there till 7:00 when you’re mom finds you playing on the school playground and he and your little brother are comfortable at home watching tv

When you and your brother are in the car and he pulls up to McDonalds and orders something for just him and your brother and that you have food at home to eat

He’s always negative there is seriously no positive emotions

He’s always swearing even around kids

He’s embarrassing in public like if you tell him to not swear and kids are around he’ll swear even more and raise his voice

He’s very hypocritical

You can’t do something but he can

He acts like he’s the ONLY one in the world who has problems

Nothing is ever his fault

You have to be on time for stuff but he would be late to his own funeral

I know Cancer isn’t great I understand that but because of what he’s done to me over the years of me growing up I’ve literally become desensitized to his problems and pain. My brain goes why should I care about you when all you ever did was literally treat me like shit my whole life because I wasn’t yours by blood?

I’ve talked with my therapist and they say what I’m feeling is alright, that it’s normal because of the trauma he’s caused me while growing up. The people who haven’t treated me like shit even if I honestly have NEVER met them in my entire life make me feel more emotions for them if something goes wrong in their life. I cry for them but I will not cry for him.

People may not agree with me putting this on here but I thought it should be known with what is going on in my life. I would like to add that I do feel bad for the people who have Cancer I do. It’s a sad thing to happen. But it also doesn’t give someone the right to be an asshole either. I hope doctors find ways to cure and get rid of it forever.

On another note

My dog also did see her surgeon and she does need a $3,000.00 surgery which will hopefully happen in 2-4 months but she’s doing good otherwise

#personal #rant #my rants

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lifechurchgb · 5 years

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The Book of James

I have been hearing a lot of great feedback about the series of messages we’re in on James. It’s been an easy series to write because I’m just letting the scriptures speak for themselves. It’s however not been an easy series to preach, because I’m letting the scriptures speak for themselves. James is an incredibly practical book while simultaneously being an incredibly provocative book. It’s challenging isn’t it? I only have one regret when it comes to this series. I wish I had more time to go through it. Planning is really important to me so I try plan my preaching schedule well in advance. I gave myself 7 weeks to journey through James – I wish I had given myself more. With that thought in mind I am going to periodically jump over sections of the book on Sundays but I will supplement those times by writing an article or blog about the portions that have been passed over. Today I want to come out of James 2:1-11 and talk to you about Judgment & Favoritism. I pray that God will use these words to continue to challenge you from His Word.

Have you ever been judged? Of course you have. And, none of us like it. No one likes being sized up. No one likes being analyzed or criticized or categorized. Yet, we do it every day. We size people up. We look at people and affix an endless number of labels to them. We judge what people wear, what they drive, how they walk, the size of their waistline, how they wear their hair. The list of examples could go on and on. This is a serious problem in our culture, and it was during James culture as well. So much that James takes this topic head on. I want to look at what Pastor James has to say about judgment & favoritism as well as what his older brother Jesus had to say as well. Let’s start with James.

Look at how Chapter 2:1-11 reads in the New Living Translation:

“1 My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others? 2 For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. 3 If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor”—well, 4 doesn’t this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives? 5 Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn’t God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in faith? Aren’t they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him? 6 But you dishonor the poor! Isn’t it the rich who oppress you and drag you into court? 7 Aren’t they the ones who slander Jesus Christ, whose noble name you bear? 8 Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 9 But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law. 10 For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God’s laws. 11 For the same God who said, “You must not commit adultery,” also said, “You must not murder.” So if you murder someone but do not commit adultery, you have still broken the law.”

I don’t think there’s anyone who would be reading this blog who hasn’t thought about judgment. However, many of our thoughts on judgment have focused on the effect it has on others. We’ve likely considered the lasting hurt our judgment has inflicted on others, but James has an interesting angle on this issue. James considers the effect judgment has on us – the actual source of the judgment. He lets us in on an insight that I have never considered. When I judge someone, it actually creates more pain on me than it does on the person I am judging. Many times, when you judge someone they have no idea you’re judging them at all. Judgment has a lot to do with assumptions. We assume things we have no idea about.

Years ago I had an amazing kid in my youth ministry. Even to this day there have been few people God has placed under my leadership who have more natural talent or potential. He had a clear call on his life to serve God in full-time ministry. He dove into serving in our youth services and on our service teams. He acted in dramas and served as an intern to Sonny & I. I was so excited to see him growing and striving to fulfill his potential. I served at that church for a few years before I transitioned to another church to serve as their youth pastor. When I left the church this young man was in he almost immediately took several steps backward. Before long he wasn’t attending church at all. It took a few years but I was finally able to connect with him and got to ask him why he wasn’t serving God anymore. His answer caught me a bit off guard. He told me point blank – “It’s because of you.” I didn’t even know how to respond other than to ask him what I had to do with it. I had mentored him. I had spent countless hours pouring into him. I loved him like a little brother. He went on to tell me that I had told him I was going to be at his church forever, but the minute an opportunity was presented for me to go work at a bigger church with a bigger youth ministry I broke my promise and walked away leaving him and his friends in the rear view mirror. He felt like I was a fake and a hypocrite. What my young friend did was make an assumption about my actions. He judged my motives based upon my actions. He had no idea what went into me making that decision from my end. The truth was, I wanted to serve as the youth pastor at his home church my whole life, but unfortunately that decision was not left entirely up to me. When my Senior Pastor retired after leading the church for 30 years, a younger Pastor from another state was brought in to lead the church and that Pastor had a team of his own that he wanted to lead with. I was given my notice to find another place of ministry. In case you’re not catching my drift, I was fired. I hadn’t communicated that fact to the students or the church because I wanted to protect their view of the new Pastor. I didn’t want their view of him to be hindered by their love of & loyalty to me. When I explained that to my young friend years later he understood, but it had cost him years of hurt and disappointment and unfortunately had changed the trajectory of his life. The point is, by making an assumption about me and judging my actions, he hadn’t brought any hurt to me, he only brought hurt to himself.

Dr. Jim Richards defines judgment as; “Assuming to know why someone did what they did or said what they said.” Knowing what happened is an observation; trying to figure out why it happened takes us into the realm of judgment. We have to be able to separate facts from the presumed motive.

What does Jesus say about Judgment & favoritism?

In Matthew 7:1-5 He says;

“1 “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. 3 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”

It’s so much easier for me to see your speck than it is for me to see my log. It’s natural for me to see what’s wrong with you, while hoping you don’t see what’s wrong with me. I want you to view me as perfect because I not only judge you, I also judge myself. I want you to look at me like I’m perfect because of my own understanding of my deficiencies. I make the assumption that, if you knew about me what I know about me, you may not want to know me at all. I am judging myself right out of my own reality and our potential relationship. If I can see what’s wrong with you maybe it’ll be a relief for what’s wrong with me. Unfortunately, we don’t only judge others and judge ourselves, we also judge God. We try to assume to know why He did what He did. When something bad happens to us or someone we care for, we immediately begin to ask why He caused it, or in the very least why He allowed it to happen? When we assume God’s motives we put ourselves into a position of judgment or authority over Him. We fail to remember that God has but one motive. God’s only motive is Love. His only motive is good. His ways are higher than ours, His view is higher than ours. He sees the end from the beginning. He understands the outcome when we don’t. We simply can’t judge His motive when we don’t have all the facts.

So, a question arises; what do we need to do? How do we stop? How do we stop judging others, ourselves & our God? I wanna give you:

4 Things To Combat Judgment In Our Lives

Here’s the first. We need to…

Value People

Philippians 2:3 says;

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves”

The great theologian and Apostle of the Church Paul tells us that the act of valuing others requires the characteristic of humility. Judgment is the complete opposite of humility. As soon as we judge someone we elevate ourselves above them. We become the authority on their actions. We assume to know why they did what they did or said what they said. We assume we know why they hurt us. I hate to break it to you but that’s not humility. It takes humility to value people. Now, it doesn’t take a lot of humility to treat someone good if they have something to offer you. But, when there’s nothing to gain from that person we tend to not value them.

When I was attending college in Minneapolis, I met a guy named Red. I met Red because he was a regular “customer” at the Walgreens by my apartment. I put the word customer in quotes because there was a 50/50 chance that Red wasn’t going to be paying for the items he needed from the store. Red was homeless and a seemingly hopeless addict. He would use whatever resources he could to escape his current reality. One of his primary sources of alternate reality was Lysol. You read that right – Lysol – the air freshener. Red would get the biggest can of Lysol he could from the store and spray it into a paper cup then drink it. Apparently, not only does Lysol instantly remove 99% of germs, but it also immediately gets you 100% messed up. It would have been easy for me to assume Red was just some loser base head, but even back then, before Jesus, I valued people. Let me take a side note and say, we have to be careful who we devalue, because God values every single person. God knows something about that person that you don’t know. Every person is the way they are for a reason. We may not know anything about that person but God does. God knows every moment of their life. For example, God knows that Red wasn’t always drinking Lysol on the streets of Minneapolis. God knows that Red used to be police officer in Phoenix Arizona and was a member of the SWAT team. God knows that one-day on a raid of a drug house Red was distracted by a sound for a split second. He was distracted just long enough to take his focus off the partner whose back he was responsible to watch. He was distracted just long enough for that partner to be shot in the head by one of the drug dealers inside the house. Red turned around to watch his partner fall to the ground dead. Red shot and killed the dealer who shot his partner then in a fog he walked out of the drug house. He didn’t stop walking until he hit Minneapolis. I don’t know why he picked Minneapolis, but in listening to his story, I can understand a little better why he wanted to escape reality. So, while Red is pan handling for enough money to buy another can of Lysol, God knows the back-story and values him while you judge him. My point is, the more we get to know about people, the more our grace goes up & our judgment goes down. We go from zero to judgment so quick but 1 Samuel 16:7 says;

…people judge by outward appearance, but the lord looks at the heart.

Don’t you think there are people in your life you could value more?

Here’s the second thing to combat judgment in our lives…

Accept People

Romans 15:7 says…

“Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory.”

Acceptance is so simple, when you understand the outcome. God will be glorified when we accept each other. It is the model of Jesus. Jesus clearly communicated that you don’t have to change anything about you. That’s what Jesus does. He accepts us as is. We don’t have to change a thing to be accepted. It’s throughout the New Testament. Jesus accepted sinners. He accepted a woman caught in the act of adultery and a man possessed by demons and the list goes on. He accepted them because, from His eternal perspective, they had great worth. Let me give you a picture of acceptance.

If I took a $100 bill and handed it to you, almost all of you would readily accept it. Now keep in mind, you have no idea where that $100 bill has been, whose dirty hands have been on it, or what it’s been used for. That $100 bill may have been a part of a drug deal or a hit on someone’s life or paid for pornography or prostitution. We have no idea the evil or the good that $100 bill has been used for. When I hand you the money, you don’t care in the least how dirty or wrinkled it is, you immediately think what you could do with that money, because no matter how wrinkled or dirty it is the value of that $100 Bill is still $100. The $100 bill hasn’t lost one ounce of value since the day it rolled off the press. It would probably never even cross you mind where that money has been or who that money has been with when you decide whether or not to accept the $100 bill.

The same is true of you. Regardless of how wrinkled or dirty you are, regardless of the journey you’ve been on or the current location in which you find yourself, none of that determines whether or not Jesus will accept you. Today Jesus will accept you and assigns the same value to you as He did the day you were born. Do you live by the same virtue? Do you accept people in their current tattered condition as to be glory to the God who accepted you in your most tattered condition?

Don’t you think there are people in your life you could accept more?

Here’s the third thing to combat judgment in our lives…

Forgive People

This is the most difficult, but if we don’t forgive, we will stay locked in a box of judgment. We will never get free if we don’t forgive. In the Gospels, Jesus’ disciples ask Him to teach them how to pray. Jesus responds by reciting a prayer that is now famously referred to as “The Lord’s Prayer.” Look at how it reads in Matthew 6:9-13…

9 “This, then, is how you should pray: “ ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 10 your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. ’

If you’ve been a Jesus Person for very long, you probably know that prayer, and may even be able to recite it from heart. But, check out what Jesus says next. In the verse right after “The Lord’s Prayer” Jesus says this…

14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Not only is it important to forgive, but according to Jesus it is necessary. Jesus says that because He knows that forgiving others is a matter of the heart. If you can’t forgive others, you ultimately can’t forgive yourself. If you can’t forgive yourself, you can never see yourself through the lens of Jesus. You are not who you think you are. You are more than you will ever see yourself to be, but you have to forgive yourself, and for that debt to be forgiven, you must first forgive your debtor. You have to forgive those who have hurt you, abused you, disrespected and dishonored you. We’re hesitant because we think we’re giving the offender power, but in truth, when we forgive we’re taking the power back. That person no longer has the power to minimize your life or hold you hostage by their actions. We’re hesitant because we think we’re giving the offender our trust back, but we’re not. We’re actually taking our trust from them and putting it in God. When we forgive we acknowledge our trust in God to heal our hurts and hearts. Forgiving people isn’t based on our feelings but on God’s heart. Even after enduring unimaginable torture, from the cross Jesus said; “Father Forgive them…” and the “them” He was talking about included me and it included you.

Don’t you think there are people in your life you could accept more?

Here’s the fourth thing to combat judgment in our lives…

Get Close To People

Relationship is essential. The closer you get to people, the further you get from judgment. On the flip side, isolation is a breeding ground for judgment. Some of the most critical people I know have no meaningful relationships. It’s no wonder they sit around and think of everything that’s wrong with everyone they know. They probably think those people are sitting around thinking about what’s wrong with them. It’s a vicious circle. Relationship is the antidote to judgment. It’s why we have Life Groups. If you can surround yourself with people who care about you, suddenly the overwhelming problems of your life become more manageable because now you have someone with whom to share the burden. There’s a fascinating portion of scripture in the book of Luke. You’ve probably heard it or read it before, but let me try to give you a different perspective on it today.

Luke 6:38 says…

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Like you, I’ve heard that scripture as a pre-offering message about money. Let’s be honest, I’ve used that scripture as a pre-offering message about money. In truth, that scripture can be used in regard to money because of the principle of sowing and reaping. But, in this scripture Jesus is actually talking about relationships. Reading the verse before will help you see the context. Look at John 6:37-38

37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

That’s the picture of a beautiful relationship. People respond in direct accordance to how we treat them. If we treat them with generosity, they’ll respond with generosity. If we treat them with love, they’ll respond with love. Treat them with acceptance, they’ll respond with acceptance. If we treat them with cynicism, they’ll respond with cynicism. If we treat them with criticism, they’ll respond with criticism. Treat them with judgment, they’ll respond with judgment. It’s interesting to note that when you give, you generally get back more than you gave. That rings true for the positive as well as with the negative. Today I want love, so I will give love. I don’t want to be judged so I won’t judge. How do I do that? I get close to you and I let you get close to me. The closer I get to you, the less I’ll judge you because I begin to understand why you are the way you are.

Again, relationship is the antidote to judgment. A relationship with other people, but more importantly, a relationship with Jesus. He’s the only one who knows you, understands you, and yet still values you, accepts you, forgives you and longs to have you close to Him. Are you close to Him today? If you’re not, you can be. All you have to do is ask. If you’ve never done that, will you do it now? All you have to do is read these words and believe them in your heart:

Dear Jesus, I’m sorry. I’m a sinner. I repent of my sins and ask you to forgive me. Would you come into my life and make it new. I can’t live the way I’ve lived any more. Save me from myself. Empty me of me and fill me with you. I receive you as my personal Lord and Savior. In Jesus name Amen.

If you prayed that prayer we want to help you walk the Jesus Journey. Will you do us the honor of emailing us to tell us you’ve received Jesus as your Lord and Savior? I want to personally connect with you. Thanks.

See you Sunday;

Shawn

#pastorshawn

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wisdomrays · 6 years

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PROPHET MUHAMMAD (pbuh) AS COMMANDER : The Reasons For the Setback at Uhud

Before passing on to explain the reasons for the setback suffered at Uhud, it should be pointed out that the Companions have, after the Prophets, superiority over all the other people in virtue. They were honoured with being the comrades and trainees of the greatest of the whole creation, one for whose sake the universe was created and who was sent as a mercy for all the worlds, that is, the Prophet Muhammad, upon him be peace and blessings. Therefore, according to the rule, the greater the blessing, the greater the responsibility, they had to be the most sensitive in obeying God and His Messenger. We read in the Qur'an that, for example, whoever of the Prophet's wives commits manifest indecency, the punishment for her will be doubled because they are not like any other women (al-Ahzab, 33. 30, 32). Likewise, a sin committed by the Companions, small as it may be, deserves severe punishment. They are all included in those 'foremost in belief and nearness to God', and they are the ones whose conduct is an example followed by later generations, so they should be pure in belief and intention, sincere in worship and devotion, upright in conduct and extremely careful in refraining from sins and disobedience.

Secondly, God has raised the Community of Muhammad, upon him be peace and blessings, as the best community who enjoin the good and forbid the evil, and believe in One God (Al 'Imran, 3.110) and also appointed them as a 'middle nation' so that they may be witnesses to mankind, and that the Messenger may be a witness to them (al-Baqara, 2.143). But, in the first years of the Madinan era, the community of the Companions consisted of true believers and hypocrites, so God wanted to sift those who were truly His witnesses against all mankind, and also to see who among them strove hard in His Way and remained steadfast (Al 'Imran, 3. 141–2). The Battle of Uhud, therefore, became a decisive test to sift out the sincere and steadfast from the hypocritical and wavering ones, and served to make the Islamic community more stable and formidable than before.

After these preliminary notes, we can summarize the reasons for the reverse which the Muslims experienced in the second stage of Uhud.

God's Messenger, being the Commander-in-chief of the Muslim army supported by Divine Revelation, was of the opinion that they should stay within the confines of Madina, but the younger Companions, inexperienced and full of excitement, urged him to march out of the city. This was a mistake, even though for the sake of obtaining the rank of martyrdom in the Way of God, since the Messenger tended to apply different tactics in battles and knew in advance that the Quraysh army was coming to fight in an open field.

The second disobedience on the part of the Companions showed itself when the archers whom the Prophet, upon him be peace and blessings, had posted to defend the army against any attack from the rear, left their posts. They misinterpreted the order of God's Messenger that they should not move away from their places even if they saw birds fly off with the flesh of their brothers fighting on the battlefield, and took part in collecting booty.

The hypocrites numbering three hundred, one third of the whole army, cut themselves off from the army half-way and returned to Madina. This undermined the morale of Banu Salama and Banu Haritha, who were only persuaded with difficulty not to leave. Moreover, there was still a small group of hypocritical people who demoralized the Muslim ranks during the course of the battle.

A number of the Companions did not remain sufficiently patient. They acted, in certain respects, in a manner inconsistent with the dictates of piety and were lured by material wealth.

There were some among the believers who had thought that as long as God's Messenger was in their midst and as long as they enjoyed God's support and help, the unbelievers could never triumph over them. However true this was, they came to understand by the setback they suffered that deserving God's help requires, besides belief and devotion, deliberation and strategy, and steadfastness. They also perceived that the world is a field of testing and trial:

Many ways of life and systems have passed away before you; journey in the land, and behold how was the end of those who did deny (the Messengers). This is an exposition for mankind, and a guidance and an admonition for the God-fearing. Faint not, nor grieve, for you shall gain mastery if you are true believers. If a wound has touched you, a like wound already touched the (unbelieving) people (at Badr); such days We deal out in turn among men, that God may see who are the believers, and that He may take witnesses from among you; and God loves not the evil-doers; and that God may prove the believers, and blot out the unbelievers. (Al 'Imran, 3. 137-141)

Those who had not taken part in the Battle of Badr sincerely prayed God for martyrdom. They were deeply devoted to the cause of Islam and longed for their meeting with God. Some among them like 'Abd Allah ibn Jahsh, Anas ibn Nadr, Sa'd ibn Rabi', 'Amr ibn Jamuh and Abu Sa'd Haysama, tasted the pleasure of martyrdom and the martyrdom of the others was delayed. The Qur'an sings the praises of them as follows:

Among the believers are men who were true to their covenant with God; some of them have fulfilled their vow by death (in battle), and some are still awaiting, and they have not changed in the least. (al-Ahzab, 33.23)

Any success or triumph lies in the hand of God, Who does whatever He wills and cannot be questioned concerning His acts. Belief in the Unity of God requires that a believer must always ascribe to God his accomplishments and never appropriate for his self anything good. If the decisive victory of Badr gave some of the Muslims some sort of self-pride and if they imputed the victory to their own prudence and wise arrangement or some material causes, this, too, would have taken a part in their setback in Uhud.

There is an important point worth mentioning concerning the setback the believers suffered in Uhud. Among the Quraysh army there were some eminent soldiers and commanders such as Khalid ibn Walid, Ikrima ibn Abi Jahl, 'Amr ibn al- 'As and Ibn Hisham, each of whom had been destined by God to serve Islam very greatly in the future. They were the ones most esteemed and respected among the people. For the sake of their future service for Islam, God may not have willed to hurt their feelings of honour completely. The Companions of the future defeated the Companions of the present in the second stage of Uhud.

Finally, the following verses are to explain the reasons of that setback together with its aftermath, and the lessons which should be taken from it:

Did you suppose you should enter Paradise without God seeing who of you have struggled and who are patient? (Al 'Imran, 3.142)

Muhammed is naught but a Messenger; Messengers have passed away before him. Will you, if he should die or is slain, turn back on your heels? If any man should turn back on his heels, he will not harm God in any way; and God will recompense the thankful. It is not given to any soul to die save by the leave of God, at an appointed time. Whoso desires the reward of this world, We will give him of this; and whoso desires the reward of the other world, We will give him of that; and We will recompense the thankful. (Al 'Imran, 3. 144–5)

God fulfilled His pledge to you when by His leave you blasted them, until you lost heart, and quarrelled about the matter, and disobeyed, after He had shown you that you longed for. Some of you sought this world and some of you sought the next. Then He turned you from them, that He might try you; and He has pardoned you; and God is bounteous to the believers. When you were going up, not twisting about for anyone, and the Messenger was calling you in your rear; so He rewarded you with grief after grief that you might not sorrow for what escaped you neither for what smote you; and God is aware of the things you do. (Al 'Imran, 3. 152–3)

Those of you who turned away on the day two hosts encountered – Satan made them slip because of some of their lapses; but God has pardoned them; God is All-Forgiving, All-Clement. (Al 'Imran, 3. 155)

O believers, be not as the unbelievers who say concerning their brothers, when they journey in the land, or are upon expeditions, 'If they had been with us, they would not have died and not been slain' – that God may make that an anguish in their hearts. For God gives life, and He makes to die; and God sees the things you do. If you are slain or die in God's way, forgiveness and mercy from God are a better thing than what they amass; surely if you die or are slain, it is unto God you shall be mustered. (Al 'Imran, 3.156–8)

If God helps you, none can overcome you; but if He forsakes you, who then can help you after Him? Therefore in God let the believers put all their trust. (Al 'Imran, 3. 160)

Why, when an affliction visited you, and you had visited twice over the like of it, did you say, 'How is this?' Say: 'This is from your own selves; surely God is powerful over everything'. And what visited you, the day the two hosts encountered, was by God's leave, and that He might mark out the believers; and that He might also mark out the hypocrites, to whom it was said: 'Come, fight in the way of God, or repel!' They said, 'If only we knew how to fight, we would follow you.' They that day were nearer to unbelief than to belief. (Al 'Imran, 3.165–7)

Count not those who were slain in God's way as dead. They are alive with their Lord, by Him provided, rejoicing in the bounty that God has given them, and joyful in those who remain behind and have not joined them yet: that no fear shall be on them, neither shall they sorrow, joyful in blessing and bounty from God, and that God leaves not to waste the wage of the believers. (Al 'Imran, 3. 169-171)

God will not leave the believers in the state in which you are, till He shall distinguish the corrupt from the good, and God will not inform you of the Unseen; but God chooses out of His Messengers whom He wills. Believe you then in God and His Messengers; and if you believe and are God-fearing, there shall be for you a mighty wage. (Al 'Imran, 3.179)

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movietvtechgeeks · 6 years

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Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/supernatural-various-sundry-villains-kill-darlings/

'Supernatural' Various & Sundry Villains: Kill Your Darlings

Okay, I’m going to be upfront, I was ready to be super underwhelmed by last week’s Supernatural episode “Various & Sundry Villains.” All of the promotion focused on the love spell, and frankly, we’ve been there, done that. In fact, I’m shocked that showrunner Andrew Dabb let this pitch go to script given that he wrote the controversial episode “Season 7 Time for a Wedding”, an episode that I can honestly say has only one truly redeeming quality: Leslie Odom, Jr. was in it. While this was arguably derivative of that episode, giving this the go ahead was risky on Dabb’s part. It paid off for writer, Steve Yockey, because this love spell outing was much better than the last. In the opening of this episode we meet the Plum sisters, and I hate to say this, but despite watching this episode three times I don’t actually remember their first names and I could barely tell them apart anyway, so we’ll just call the one Dean “falls in love with” Harley Quinn and the other one we’ll call… Harley Quinn’s little sister? Yeah, sure, why not? Between the cutesy valley girl verbiage and the bloody sledgehammer, I’m sure we were supposed to get an Arkham Asylum vibe off these two. At least, I really hope that was the intention. I’ll be honest, I was not impressed with these characters and I’m not sure if it was off writing, off casting, or off directing, but they felt really forced. From their overly stereotypical Millenial way of speaking to their overtly blatant mirroring of Sam and Dean (yes, we get it, one is younger and brainy, they other is older and protective, they’re obsessed with their dead mom and it could go badly, was that a hammer they were using or an anvil?) the Plum sisters, unlike their Winchester counterparts, came off as grating. Maybe they were supposed to? Again, I hope so. I will say that as a horror buff I enjoyed the return of Rowena’s mad dog spell and the demise of the Plum sisters at each other’s hands. I saw a lot of people say it was too much, too gratuitous, too gory. And perhaps it was, but given the movies I regularly watch and enjoy, well, I embraced it. While I will say I’m glad the love spell portion of the episode was short-lived, it’s always fun to see Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki show off their comedy elbow chops; Ackles with the perfectly timed glibness he brings to Dean Winchester and Padalecki’s Sam Winchester, ever the earnest Abbott to Ackles’ Costello, was subtle, stoic faced gold. Ackles and Padalecki got to play off each other magnificently in this episode; from Dean walking in practically floating on a love cloud, to Sam trying desperately to remind Dean they’ve been down this weird love spell road before, to Ackles’ delivery of “‘cause she’s got a sister”, to their tussle in front of the Impala (though, dang, these boys horseplay hard given the butt dent Sam left on the hood after Dean rushed him) the two actors smoothly show how well they work together no matter the material. But the star of this episode was Rowena. Her entrance was stellar, and she stole every scene. Ruth Connell is delightful in this role and for the most part (we’ll get to that later) I was glad to see her back because I was sorry to lose her last season, especially in such a cheap, off-screen way. I’m hard-pressed to fall for new characters, but Rowena is one that I really enjoy. Connell was able to give us comedy and tragedy in this episode, going from snark to desperation fluidly. I also have to give Steve Yockey heaps of credit for having Rowena not only ask about Crowley but allowing her to have an outburst about his death. Hearing her say that she’d rather have him alive than to have died a hero hit really close to home given that the lack of Mark Sheppard as Crowley has been quite the gaping hole this season. Take a note from Yockey, other writers, because I’m still waiting for Castiel to ask about Meg… Speaking of Castiel, he and Lucifer were locked up. Now they aren’t. And like, they had a whole big penis to penis measurement contest and Castiel for some reason tried to hurt Lucifer by telling him that Jack doesn’t even look like him, which… um, Lucifer is in the image of a seasons dead vessel so, of course, he doesn’t look like him. And also, when did you get to know so much about Jack, Castiel? I think maybe the writer accidentally gave Misha Collins some of Sam’s lines to say. If I sound like I was less than moved by any of these scenes, it’s because I wasn’t. The scenes weren’t objectively bad or anything, and not only has Mark Pellegrino has found his footing as Lucifer again, but he and Collins play extremely well off each other. Unfortunately, their scenes simply didn’t mesh well with the “A” plot and the dichotomy crashed the episode’s momentum. Although, I did enjoy both characters reminding each other what untrustworthy, hypocritical screw-ups both have been. Again, I appreciate it when Supernatural is self-aware like that because fallibility gives depth and interest. Now, you didn’t think I was going to review this episode and not talk about Sam and Rowena sharing their trauma, did you? Because that was a scene that many Supernatural fans have waited years for. In season 11, Sam was forced to not only work with Lucifer, but he had to allow Lucifer into his home, into his room, and wasn’t allowed to voice any grievances about it and while Padalecki did a phenomenal job adding little twitches and moments of tight body language and subtle distance, it was all too obvious that the writers were wary of taking Sam’s trauma seriously because at the time Lucifer was possessing Castiel’s body and the “Cassifer" version of Lucifer was played mostly as a joke throughout that entire arc, nothing but a bratty teenager throwing a tantrum, while Sam Winchester, the boy who had every reason to rip into both Lucifer and God, just stood on the sidelines silently like he was totally fine. But he wasn’t, he hasn’t been, and watching Sam and Rowena both delve into the trauma and abuse they experienced at Lucifer’s hand was fantastically written and acted. Yockey was able to give the characters just enough for them to convey, through their tone, inflections, and facial expressions how much they were, no are, broken by the Devil himself. Having them both admit to seeing Lucifer’s real face, while giving no descriptive details was brilliant. Both Padalecki and Connell were able to communicate to the audience how horrific it was for their characters without any unnecessary detail. Such a great “show, don’t tell” moment; it’s so much more frightening for the viewer to fill in the blanks. And Sam explaining that it isn’t that he’s okay, it’s that he never gets the chance to fully deal with his trauma because the world is always falling apart was both heartbreaking and much needed, not only for Sam to say it but for the audience to hear it. At the end of this episode we got to see the other side of the Ackles/Padalecki chemistry, their ability to rip your heart out, when Sam and Dean have a frank discussion back at the bunker about what to do going forward. Dean knowing that Sam gave Rowena the spell she wanted and instead of yelling and belittling him, he’s simply honest and direct with him and doesn’t question Sam when he says that if Rowena played him again, he’ll personally kill her. It was also good to hear Sam be open with Dean about how defeated he feels, about how he tried to mask that with conviction and hope, but that he can’t fake it til he makes it anymore. And while Dean’s words of encouragement and confidence may seemingly ring hollow to Sam, it’s not because Sam doesn’t have faith in Dean, it’s that right now he can’t see where Dean is coming from. Dean knows, because characters have told him for years, how important he and Sam are, how they keep this world spinning, but Sam has never heard it directly, not from God, not from Amara, not from Death, not from Billie. Those declarations have only been uttered to Dean and then conveyed by Dean to Sam, so Dean knows that they’ll figure out a way, that it’s basically destiny and Sam has no choice but to take Dean’s word for it. I could go on and on about the isolation of Sam Winchester, but that’s an article for a different day. [caption id="attachment_53290" align="aligncenter" width="696"] Photo: Home of the Nutty[/caption] Overall, this was a mytharc episode done well, slightly overstuffed as most mytharc episodes are, but coherent and well paced with a fantastic blend of horror, levity, and angst. That said, the last thing I want to touch on for this episode is something that was absolutely no fault of the writer, Steve Yockey, but I think is an increasing problem on Supernatural; the element of surprise is gone, as are the stakes. Supernatural was once known as a show where rocks fell, and everyone died. It was also a show where Jim Beaver once hid his reprisal of Bobby Singer by trying to convince fandom that he was in Vancouver shooting an abominable snowman movie so that his return to the show wasn’t spoiled Fast forward just a few years and the cast, crew, and network PR are spoiling character reveals weeks, even months in advance. Instead of being shocked by Rowena’s return we all went into this episode waiting for her appearance, and while we saw Castiel stab Lucifer with an angel blade; saw the red light go out of Lucifer’s eyes; it’s all for naught. Lucifer is the focus of the promo that aired right after the episode, and the synopsis for the next episode lays out exactly what he’ll be up to. Even last season finale, no one believed Castiel was actually permanently dead. Hell, it took Mark Sheppard declaring that he refuses to ever reprise his role for fans to believe Crowley was truly dead. No stakes means no emotional payoff. No secrecy means no shock and awe. Take a page from some of the greats, Supernatural, including yourself: what’s dead should stay dead, so kill your darlings and if you must bring them back, stop telegraphing their returns. Check out this week's Supernatural Devil's Bargain trailer above.

Movie TV Tech Geeks News

#Featured #Jared Padalecki #Jensen Ackles #Mark Pellegrino #Misha Collins #Ruth Connell #Supernatural

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manabingu · 7 years

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ManaTagged! Heyoo~

tagged by the sweet ♥ @rainbow-galaxy-supernova (sorry its overdue)

The last:

1.) Drink: Raspberry Milk Tea w/Lychee Popping Pearls

2.) Phone call: to @tyrestgwa earlier today via skype

3.) Text message: to @crystalwoodsart

4.) Song you listened to: Phoenix Ash’s Cover of JAP by Abingdon Boys School & Fome’s Cover of Count Zero by T.M. Revolution (SO FCKN GOOD)

5.) Time you cried: yesterday 8D during Wonder Woman ;U;o

6.) Dated someone twice: Tyrest is the first & only official dating. But me and @crystalwoodsart have been married practically since 6th grade. She is mY WAIFU!

7.) Been Cheated on: Thank Ra No!

8.) Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah.BUT I mean- iN DREAMS YES.

9.) Lost someone special: It’s a universal thing. Namely pets for me

10.) Been depressed: 8) Story of my LIFE! But I’ve been makin progress

11.) Gotten drunk and thrown up: I REFUSE to consume alcohol/drugs

12-14.) LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: Turquoise,Galaxy Print,Pastels/Silver tie

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15.) Made new friends: I’ve been blessed thanks to YT Idol w/new singer pals!

16.) Fallen out of love: Yeah...in high school I had so many talent crushes. Which I think is normal for theater kids. But I think I ended up with the correct person. He truly understands me. And though I sometimes wonder what would my life be if I had confessed my love to those others, I’m happy I waited for the person who accepted me just the way I am ;w;o

17.) Laughed until you cried: AS AN ABRIDGER, I am privileged to be surrounded by INCREDIBLY hilarious people & I love it!♥

18.) Found out someone was talking about you: YES. And BOY is it a trip when I find people are horrible trolls. I find out about sweet people who say super kind things about me or my work all the time. But when I get a heads up about backstabbers or people who get close for the wrong reasons, I put my guard up around them & just do my own thing. Because a path of jealousy, hatred & vengeance isn’t for me. Bullies can talk, but I’ll always ignore them.

19.) Met someone who changed you: Namely Tyrest,Crystal,Panda,Wraith10, @cozymochi (bows to her greatness), LordMoonstone, @kittykatsandbox, (FAB SENPAI) @ahsimwithsake & @laurathia who are 1 of 2 sets of adoptive internet parents I have XD and MOST RECENT OF ALL CEONN. If I hadn’t met Ceonn, my singing career journey wouldn’t have taken off.THANX

20.) Found out who your true friends are: YEP 8)! Sadly, just recently too...

21.) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Well, hispanic people greet each other by cheek kisses so I will say yes.

22.) How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Everyone cuz my FB is family & IRL friends only ^^; BUT my ZEXAL Abridged has a FB

23.) Do you have any pets: My pet cockatiel Patchos 8D

24.) Do you want to change your name: No, but don’t mind having a stage name to be honest. I love stage names ^_^

25.) What did you do for your last birthday: Probably sang,drew & other stuff

26.) What time did you wake up: 9 or 10ish? I had to meet some friends today

27.) What were you doing at midnight last night: GAWKING at Gal Gadot

28.) Name something you cannot wait for:Anime Idol @ Metrocon, finally getting out more song covers/abridged stuff. And being stable again.

29.) When was the last time you saw your mother?: a few seconds ago

30.) What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish that ONE thing didn’t happen & my family had the same wealth we shoulda had if luck was on our side. That & I wish I wasn’t afraid of certain things so I could progress faster.

31.) What are you listening to right now: Fome’s Covers,& MY own covers

32.) Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeS?

33.) Something that is getting on your nerves: Hypocrites lately 8)

34.) Most visited website: Tumblr,Instagram,Twitter & YT are tied tbh

35-37.) Finished all of school: yeppers

38.) Hair color: Dark Chocolate Brown (I used swatches at Sally’s XD)

39.) Long or short hair: I enjoy having long princess hair, but I cut it recently QuQ woops. Mostly cuz I wanted to try a T.M. Revolution hairdo XD

40.) Do you have a crush on someone: I HAVE ANIMAY HUSbANDs/WAifUS

41.) What do you like about yourself: My voice range! I used to be SO self conscious as a kid, but eventually it became my greatest strength because it’s SO versatile it honestly I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for my unique voice QuQ

42.) Piercings: My ears have been pierced since birth. Mom wanted it

43.) Blood type: O? I think was what it was? It’s been years lol

44.) Nickname: Mana & Ginga (to my singer friends)

45.) Relationship status: Taken by Tyrest (with Crystal on the side ;D heh)

46.) Zodiac sign: I am a proud Sagittarius ♐

47.) Pronouns: Her is fine, but I don’t mind He if I’m crossplaying (mostly Ginga). It’s kind of a weird thing for me cuz I’m genderfluid ;w; but if anything to avoid confusion, just go with feminine one XD cuz whatvs???

48.) Favorite TV show: ITS HARD. I like too many things.Non-Anime TV Show wise I watch mostly Trail & Error & Fresh Off the Boat. But Anime-wise: ZEXAL (but YGO in general), Darker Than Black, One Punch Man/Mob Psycho 100, Uta no Prince-sama, Saint Seiya/Omega, Tokyo Mew Mew, Kaleido Star, anything by CLAMP, Kamen Rider Gaim/Fourze, Death Note, Attack on Titan, Tokyo Magnitude 8.0, FMA...too many...I know I have more...

49.) Tattoos: NoPe

50.) Right or left hand: Righty

FIRST…

51.) Surgery: In 8th grade I almost died 8D! Ruptured appendix, 3 consecutive operations & all because the first time I went to the emrgency they sent me home & misdiagnosed me with stomach flu 8D HAH.HAH.HAAAA ;~~~;...

52.) Piercing: Ears only as mentioned previously

54.) Sport:I don’t do any.My fave is figure skating tho. I love Yuzuru Hanyu♥

55.) Vacation: Technically me comin to the U.S for the first time counts

56.) Pair of trainers: Is that slang for shoes???...uhh??

MORE GENERAL…

57.) Eating: I ate sushi at a Chinese Buffet called Giant Panda today

58.) Drinking: finished all the boba tea ;w;

59.) I’m about to: Sleep cuz it’s 1am xD

61.) Waiting for: Good news, & replies from a few emails I sent this week

62.) Want: To make my YT Channel flourish & master my voice

63.) Get married: With luck but I think a paper doesn’t dictate if you love a person or not. BECAUSE i wanna pursue singing/acting, I know I’ll always be traveling ;w; so that decision is hard. I mean we can be OFFICIAL via the paper thingy but like, I already know we’re together XD ffff lol

64.) Career: Singer/Actor/Voice Actor & Internet Personality maybe

65.) Hugs or kisses: Both ^o^...cuz honestly I’m a fluffy person ;w;o

66.) Lips or eyes: Both again...I Can’T HElP IT (deep down my thoughts are as swirly with flirtatious things...proly explains Ginga’s mannerisms)

67.) Shorter or taller: I’m short ;w; sniffs 5′1. Everyone else is a tree

68.) Older or younger: Depends on relationship type? Like I think having a partner at a relatively older age because I am anxious af & need someone older to guide me when I’m struggling, but don’t mind younger (but MATURE) person by 2 years max. But when it comes to friends, I befriend anyone who is kind-hearted. Because we can learn a lot from elders/ our youth

70.) Nice arms or nice stomach: I don’t mind either or but TMR is @U@

71.) Sensitive or loud: I’m drawn more to sensitive people because they have higher levels of compassion & kinder hearts.

72.) Hook up or relationship: Relationship cuz I’m loyal AF

73.) Troublemaker or hesitant: Egh...both have downfalls. Hesitant is safer tho

HAVE YOU EVER…

74.) Kissed a stranger?: Nope BUT if I become an actor, that is a thought that keeps me up at night XD cuz ...again...I’m loyal af ;-;

75.) Drank hard liquor?: EWW >_>

76.) Lost glasses contact/lenses?: YES. During a musical in 10th grade (Suessical I was Cat in the Hat) I was on a trampoline and THEY FLEW OFF MY FACE! And ....we never found em O_O...they vanished....

77.) Turned someone down?: Yeah...a bunch of creepy fanboys throughout the years... 8) unfortunately the downfall of being an internet person

78.) Sex on first date?: DEPENDS. I’m demisexual, so I’m attracted to personality/emotional bonds not physical appearances. So IF my emotions towards them is high enough, I dunno if things could happen? But usually I stay reserved cuz I need to feel like I honestly love the person THAT much.

79.) Broken someone’s heart?: Probably ;w;...2 old buddies. I knew they had crushes on me...but I just didn’t feel the same way towards them -actually someone ELSE admitted they had a crush on me last month so the count is now up to 3...AGH. I WISH they can find someone who will make em happy because I think they deserve it tbh. They’re good dudes.

80.) Had your heart broken?: Once yeah, an old childhood crush was honestly insensitive when I asked him if he ever felt something for me & he said “ehhh not really?” in a way that came off as insensitive XD?....yeah. But the MORE I thought about why I liked him, the more I realized I could NEVER be in a relationship with them cuz they were immature & didn’t know how to be serious.They don’t balance goofiness & sensitivity & I need a balanced person

81.) Been arrested?: NO

82.) Cried when someone died?: waterfalls of tears cuz I’m an emotional wreck

83.) Fallen for a friend?: yeah =w= a bunch of abridgers/singers hah. I get talent crushes ALL the time, but don’t act on it cuz I’m shy AND taken XD

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84.) Yourself?: Usually...but I have many moments where I question if I’m good enough or worthy enough to be here ;w; gotta work on my Kattobingu

85.) Miracles?: Shining Draws should be real. But yeah miracles CAN happen

86.) Love at first sight?: FUYA OKUDAIRA 8D...and Takanori Nishikawa...and Mahiro Takasugi and Aoi Shouta tbh

87.) Santa Claus?: Elf is my favorite Christmas movie

88.) Kiss on the first date?: IT DEPENDS. But if it happens? AIGHT????

89.) Angels?: Yes \QwQ/! angels are real. @rosey-ballerina is one

OTHER….

90.) Current best friend’s name: Crystal is my bff & waifu but Tyrest too but honestly Kimmy, Panda & Ceonn are also tied with those 2

91.) Eye color: Brownies eUe

92.) Favorite movie: Finding Nemo, Big Hero 6,Lion King (all 3), All 3 Yu-Gi-Oh! Movies,The Emperor’s New Groove,Mrs. Doubtfire, Moana, Wonder Woman, Mary Poppins, Arrival, The Mummy, Matilda, Harry Potter, Pokemon 3,Hercules, Grave of the Fireflies, Antman, The Producers....and a few others

I tag: @t-chan @sylphwriter @eleanorose123 @ivmysterynumbers @zexalfangirl @shybunny @galaxyeyedphoton

#Mana Tagged #I HAVE A HARD TIME WIT FAVES TBH #I LIKE TOO MANY THINGS HONESTLY AGH ;w; sowies eeehhh I am indecisive AF

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oh-beyond · 7 years

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Stronger AU - Part 8

Your mother was a very successful photographer for a very well known magazine, she is sent to Korea where she met Kim Jongin the beautiful 4 year old in an orphanage. She fell in love the moment she laid eyes on him, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to live if Kai wasn’t with her, but your father had other plans. Your mother’s heart broke, she had no other choice but to send him back, but the relationship between them never ended. Kim Jongin was present always… in her life… in your life…

Angst/Romance/Supernatural/Smut

Kai × Reader

Masterlist

< Part 7

Summary: How many things did he hide about him and your mom? Was he simply lying to you or was he protecting you form getting hurt? Was it wise to love you? Will this have a happy ending?

The more you paid attention to Kyungsoo the more you regretted asking him anything, he had his eyes fixated in the road, he looked scary, you regretted now even getting into his car, he almost looked as if he was going to kill you to make Kai’s life easier, so many mixed feelings.

“We are here, I hope Jongin doesn’t hate me after this”

“Hate you? Why? Are you going to hurt me?” it came out so naively that after verbalising it you felt dumb, where was the rewind button?

“Do I look that menacing to you? I remind you that asked me to take you to my place”

“Sorry, that came out wrong, it’s just, Jongin and I... we... fought...”

“Well that bit is obvious, I’m sure everything will be alright”

“No it won’t, he screwed up everything, please... you don’t know”

“I just said that I do know, everything I must add”

His voice still sent chills to your body, even goosebumps formed in your arms.

You arrived to a small nice house, it was clear that he didn’t live with his parents, or a girlfriend for that matter, the shoes in the front door belonged to young men, assorted in all sizes and colours.

“They’re not all mine” he said in less intimidating tone when he saw how impressed you were with the variety “we all live together, not that we cannot afford our own places but we like to live like a family”

“Aha... and...?”

“He rented that place when he knew you were coming, like he wouldn’t let his precious noona around us, he’s too protective”

“Yeah, guys don’t like sisters around their friends”

“No that’s no it, although also true, not all of us know about you two, but certainly I’m one of the ones that know”

“Know what Kyungsoo? What the actual fuck? Like so what if you know that he fucks me from time to time? That doesn’t make it special”

“You’re being too harsh, he loves you, you of all people you are the most especial to him”

“Whatever, now this” you said pulling your mother’s medical file “what is this? Why does he even have something like this? You know about my mom?”

“Yes I do”

Ten years ago

“Mr. Brown, she does suffer from depression, Borderline personality disorder kind of an attachment disorder, it’s not severe like Erotomania where the patient beleives that someone is in love with them b-”

“Wait, what? He is 12, he is not in love with her or vice versa, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I’m going to kill that fucker!”

“Mr. Brown please calm down this is not what I meant, the disorders are associated with each other, but they are not the same, she doesn’t love your adoptive son, neither does he, he is a child, she is attached to him very much, I’ll explain myself, Mrs. Brown thinks that she is only a good mother when she’s with him, a good human, a good person all and all, when believes Jongin is dependant on her which in a way it was true when he was a young child, rescuing him from the orphanage and the way he responded loving her unconditionally, your daughter had both parents and Mrs. Brown thinks she doesn’t need her as a mother as much as Jongin does”

“Sound all crazy to me, he got her sick, he is the reason”

“Mr. Brown... I am sorry to be speaking this bluntly, but I believe the complete opposite, Jongin is the one who can help her, and only him, she always needs to feel that she is worth to someone”

“We all love her doctor, I love her, she just loves that damn child”

Kyungsoo kept talking as you read through the file, the words depression, disorder, the medications she took, all the crap Kai must have been dealing with, your dad, your dad also, he never made you aware of this, you suddenly thought that if you knew you could of had helped, somehow in any way, maybe stop being that bratty, appreciate her more, appreciate Kai more.

“Why does he get to know this and I don’t? And why do you know? I’m her daughter!”

“He never wanted to put burden on your shoulders, and I guess I know because I’m his best friend”

“That’s still unfair, she is my family”

“Alright I’ll tell you something about us that no one else but us really knows, to make it up to you”

“I don’t want to, I’m so mad right now”

“Jongin and I are close because of our powers” he said coming closer to you, his gaze dark making you forget about everything you were thinking about and your mom and...

“So that is why I know, I think you are not being considerate, Jongin has been alone in this, while you were just putting pressure on him, you can say you didn’t suffer like he did”

“How dare you? You have no clue what I had been through, I lost my parents and I had to raise Joon alone” you said getting up but you regretted it, he just told you he had powers, would he used them against you?

“Sit down and don’t be su-”

“Kyungsoo-yah don’t scare her” you heard a nice sweet voice coming from the door thanking the heavens you no longer were alone.

“We haven’t been introduced properly, I’m Junmyeon and this Yixing”

“Welcome to Korea, I hope your first impression about us is not too intimidating, you are our family”

“Gathering! Yehet!” Sehun and Jongdae were at the entrance taking off their shoes.

“Jongin is just parking the car” announced this other tall dumb looking guy pushing this other dorky looking guy next to him.

“Guys please behave, we have visitors”

“Whoa is this Jongin’s noona? I’m Baekhyun... oppa that is”

“Move idiot, I’m Chanyeol also oppa”

“Wow you are really hungry for any female to call you that aren’t you? Well I’m really not in the mood, I see they don’t know who I am really”

“No no please wait, I apologise in their behalf” said Junmyeon gazing at them frown obvious “of course we know”

“I am leaving I don’t want to see him” you said slipping on your heels.

“Who you don’t want to see? Why are you here?” said Kai coldly, he saw your mother’s file in your hands.

“Ah noona, go home, this is a place for guys only” added Joon, you were ready to bite his neck, this kid was way too annoying to handle right now.

“I’m leaving you brat” you said before slamming the door behind you.

You walked out of the house but of course Kai was already in the street waiting for you “why did you come here?”

“Leave me alone” you walked away.

“I’m talking to you” he pulled your wrist.

“This is over Kai, I don’t want to see you ever again, I’m going home and I am going to forget you and everything that concerns you”

“You can’t forget me, you love me”

“Bastard! You won’t do to me what you did to mom, goodbye Jongin”

You run fast but it was impossible, he kept appearing in front of you, you pushed him away but he was desperate to make you listen to him.

“WHAT!?”

“I love you, I can’t live without you”

“Well you did pretty good these last years, you have also the superpowers to hide it very well”

“No I didn’t, I swear I didn’t, I had to... Joon”

“What’s with Joon? You hypocrite, selfish asshole, you want everything without sacrificing anything, fulfil mom’s wishes, get the girl and your brother’s admiration, you can’t have it all Jongin”

“You are right, you are... but it was hard, it is still hard”

“You have to chose, it’s either them or me”

“You are making me chose between mom’s wishes and Joon or your love?”

“I always knew you were clever, and I already have an answer, you won’t sacrifice Joon looking at you in a bad way, and you won’t dishonour ‘my’ mother, always remember that she is mine”

Jongin didn’t move, he tensed and the thought of Heather suddenly knowing about your relationship hit him, or the image of Joon knowing that his sister and his adoptive brother had a thing...

He watched you walk hearing the click of your heels in the pavement, watching how your silhouette got smaller.

“She’s hot” a voice sounded next to him.

“Huh?” Kai turned around at the direction on the voice meeting Sehun looking at your back as you walked away.

“Yeah your noona, she’s hot! Would she consider younger guys?”

“Yah! She’s my-”

“Your... noona right? Or...?”

“Or Sehun... she is my everything”

“More than her mother right?”

“It might be that I am thankful she had her, and that she took me and raised me with her, that must be the principal reason”

“And you are now doing what exactly? Letting the love of your life just simply go away? Slip from your hands because? Ah yeah Joon, it would be too unfortunate to have his older sister be with the man he admires the most, poor little child”

“Sehun-ah!”

“Open your eyes bro, come on I’ll blow some wind her way, go get her cuz if you don’t...”

“Yah!”

Sehun smiled looking right and left before a little tornado formed in front of you that made you stop walking eventually lifting you from the ground feeling a pair of arms wrap around you, you closed your eyes and buried your face on his chest, you immediately felt at ease when you felt his familiar warmth.

Suddenly it was too bright, you were scared to open your eyelids.

“Pistaches macarons s'il vous plaît - pistachio macarons please”

You opened your eyes when you heard Kai speak in French, where were you? In a bakery shop, a very old one, very elegantly decorated, and people around you were not Korean, none of them.

You detached yourself in panic watching how Kai acted as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

“Ici vous allez monsieur, autre chose? - here you go sir, anything else?” said the baker.

“Non, merci - no thank you” replied Kai taking the plate with pistachio macaroons.

He took your hand in his and sat down in the table overlooking the busy street of Paris, Eiffel Tower right in front of your nose.

“And you speak French?”

“No I don’t, I just know how to properly ask for pistachio macaroons, your favourite” he answered biting on one looking at the window were a little girl with golden curls was waiving at him Kai simply returning the waves.

“We are in France?”

“Well that bit is obvious no?”

“Kai we have broken up, take me home, and get Joon home after”

“I can’t”

“What do you mean you can’t?”

Kai filled his mouth with 2 macaroons taking the other 2 left in his pocket, he stood up holding onto your waist suddenly feeling cold and humid, you open your eyes and you were at the tip of the Eiffel Tower, at the sudden realisation you pulled him closer to you.

“Kai”

“Yes baby”

“What do you want?” you spoke on his chest.

“You just asked me something before that, why can’t I bring Joon right?”

“You don’t want him to find out” you whispered.

“No I don’t care if he finds out that I can teleport, he should know, I will be with him forever, so no secrets in a family”

“Then why?”

“Because I simply can’t, haven’t you asked yourself why I never took your mom anywhere?”

“It’s the first time you address her as ‘my mom’ not yours”

“That’s because she is your mother, she brought you, she had you for me to keep”

You blushed as you lifted up your head meeting his mischievous eyes.

“So I will answer that... I can’t, I can’t teleport with anyone, it doesn’t work, I can’t teleport when I’m tied up or teleport anyone with me”

“But you just did... twice”

“That is because you are part of me, you are not just anyone, you are my other half, you are my woman, my power is with you”

“Kai~~~”

“Heather meeting me and taking me next to you was my fate, she gave birth to my love, and that is why I loved her so much”

You hid our face on his chest again, he felt the dampness of your tears seeping through his shirt.

“Shhh why are you crying?”

“Because I do love macaroons, but I hate the cold, I like the beach and the sun...”

Kai held onto your waist again and suddenly you felt wet from your waist down you opened your eyes when Kai detached himself from you, you were under a waterfall inside a cave, and Kai was... stripping?

“What are you doing?”

“It’s a deserted island and clothes here are not needed, I meet you outside, naked preferably...”

He took out from his pocket the macroons and stuffed them in your mouth, pecking your lips, he winked at you swimming out of the cave as you looked at your soaked outfit.

________________

A/N: Long due, the angst in this story was killing me didn’t want to post it, so I had to turn it around, thanks for reading

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stuckinthekookiejar · 7 years

Text

Goodbye Kisses pt 5

Pt. 1 || Pt. 2 || Pt. 3 || Pt. 3.5 || Pt. 4 || Pt. 5 || Pt. 6 || Pt. 7 (final)

Jin x Reader (ft. Jungkook)

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Summary: In one moment, your entire world came crashing down.

Word Count: 4849

You stood next to your bed, carefully making it before you left. You were now dressed in your normal clothes and it felt nice after being stuck wearing the hospital’s pajamas for over a month now. It felt nice finally getting to leave this place after so long. It meant you would probably get to see Jin more often and less of Yoo Bin.

Your door slid open and a certain someone came in.

Oh, speak of the devil...

“Y/N-ssi, I’m here to take your blood pressure.” Yoo Bin and you didn’t dare to make any eye contact. You compliantly sat back on the bed and held out your arm allowing Yoo Bin to do her job.

“So...I see you’re getting discharged today. Congrats.” You remained silent as she took your blood pressure. For a brief second, she glanced at you, “You seem awfully quiet. Why? Scared I might have ratted you out to your boyfriend?” Your jaw tightened, “Don’t worry. I haven’t said anything...yet.”

“Don’t act you’re so innocent, Yoo Bin-ssi. I saw you yesterday...can’t believe someone would stoop so low as to steal someone else’s boyfriend.”

“‘Steal’? Oh please. I guess you really don’t know anything do you?” You stared at her confused. She laughed at you, “It makes sense why Jin didn’t tell you about me. He is using you to forget about me after all.”

“Excuse me?” Psh...to think I actually liked her...

“Hmph, it’s amusing how little you know. You can really tell how much he wanted to forget since he didn’t even mention the slightest about me...that’s how you know how much I truly meant to him, Y/N-ssi. But it’s okay, he won’t have to forget anymore.”

Your fists clenched, “And what do you mean by that?”

“I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure that out.” She smirked before she left you all alone. A fire burned in her eyes.

Jin came in not long after Yoo Bin left. You were still on the bed, mind racing, fists curled into tight balls. You hadn’t even notice Jin come into the room, but he definitely could feel some sort of aura emitting from you,

“Jagiya? Everything okay?” The bed dipped as he took a seat next to you, his hand settling atop your knee. The sight of his hand and the feeling of his presence took you out of your little mind palace. You turned to him, his eyes were sparkling as he blinked and his plump lips were parted slightly with curiosity and concern.

You let out a deep sigh. Not a sound left your lips because you didn’t want to have to ask him about him and Yoo Bin. You hoped he would tell you himself, but then again you that that would be very hypocritical of you. It wasn’t like you’d be able to outright confess about the kiss you shared with your boyfriend’s dongsaeng.

Jin could feel like there was something wrong again. He was always good at detecting things like that, maybe it was due to his motherly sort of instinct. He wanted to tell you that you could tell him what was wrong, that you could tell him anything....but then he would be the hypocrite, so he too kept silent.

After filling out all the necessary forms, you were finally discharged. Although you still needed to use a crutch, you valiantly walked out of the hospital in relief after being cooped in there for more than a month. It was like you were a prisoner finally being released after ten years.

Jin led you over to his car and opened the passenger door for you like the gentleman you knew he was. When you first imagined the day you got discharged, you expected a sweet and fluffy morning with Jin...but right now all you two felt was distance. He was sitting right next to you, but why did he feel so far away?

“Jagi,” Jin broke the silence as he drove, “I have to work at the studio today with the guys, but how about we go somewhere tonight, hm?”

Jungkook’s words replayed in the back of your mind

“If he asks you out...refuse.”

“He’s just going to hurt you even more...”

You bit your lip. Internally, you questioned if you should listen to Jungkook’s advice. He sounded desperate, pleading for you not to go on a date with Jin...but you brushed it off thinking that maybe the younger didn’t want you to go because he had feelings for you.

“Alright.” For the first time all morning, Jin cracked a smile, a smile that’d make anyone go head over heels for. Leaving one hand on the wheel, he reached over and held your hand on your lap.

You should’ve been happy...you were discharged...your boyfriend came to pick you up...he asked you on a date...but you weren’t feeling too great. There was still that weird feeling like something wasn’t right...maybe it was because Jin hadn’t fessed up or maybe it was because of Yoo Bin’s petty threats and mockery.

You knew Jin wasn’t going to tell you himself, so you decided to ask, “Jin? What’s your relationship with Yoo Bin-ssi?”

Jin immediately tensed up and quickly returned the hand that was on yours to the steering wheel. However, you felt the clamminess of his hand before he retreated, the residue of his sweat still sat on your skin.

“W-What do you mean?” His voice subconsciously heightened in pitch. You recognized it as something he’d do when he was either nervous or angry, and right now he definitely wasn’t the latter, “I thought I already explained...”

“No, Jin, you didn’t explain...at least not fully. There’s something you’re not telling me, right?”

“Jagi, you’re just over thinking again.”

“Over thinking, Jin? Really? You should’ve seen the way she was talking to me this morning! Saying I was clueless....that I didn’t know anything....what was that all about? What are you hiding that makes her think she has the right to mock me? What is it that she knows that I don’t?”

“...Y/N-ah....it’s noth...”

“IT CAN’T BE ‘NOTHING’!” Jin’s grip on the wheel tightened, he was startled by your sudden outburst.

“J-Jagi...”

“Don’t avoid the question, Jin. Tell me...what are you hiding?”

“I’m telling you, Y/N, I’m not hiding anything!” You gulped. He wouldn’t even tell you about the kiss.

Jin eased on the break as he came to a red light, “Are you sure....you really have nothing to hide?” Jin remained silent.

You shook your head in disbelief as you reached for the unlock button on your door. You slipped your hand into the rear passenger seats and swiftly grabbed your crutch before stepping out of the car.

Jin was surprised, “Yah, where are you going?”

You slammed the door shut, not answering his question. It was no use trying to run away because for one: your leg was making it hard to gain speed, and two: Jin could easily catch up with his car. He pulled over, and came to you grabbing you arm gently stopping you in your tracks, “Y/N-ah, what are you doing? You can’t just get out of the car in the middle of the street, it’s dangerous. Come on, let’s get you back.”

You wiggle your arm out of his grasp, “No thanks, Jin.” Your gaze was transfixed on the stone tiles and you tone was hushed, “You said you had to go to the studio, right? Then go....you’ll be late...”

“Jagiya, please...”

“Go Jin....just go...” Jin’s shoulders slumped in defeat. There was no convincing you to come back, he knew you were stubborn whenever you were angry.

“I’ll...I’ll call you later about tonight, okay?” A sigh left his lips and he approached you, placing a kiss on your temple his lips lingering for a mere moment. A tear escaped your eye and you thanked the heavens that your hair was long enough to hide behind. Even though you wanted Jin to know how much you were hurting, you always hated to cry in front of him. It wasn’t because you wanted to look tough. It was because when you did cry he’d mentally beat himself up for the next few months all while keeping a distance from you thinking he was to blame. Your hurt did stem from his actions, or lack thereof, but you never wanted him to place all the blame on himself.

You sat on a bench, the cool air wisping around making your hair dance about. The taste of your favorite convenient store snack bounced around in your mouth as you chewed. In your pocket, you felt you phone start to ring.

“Hello?”

“Noona, where are you?”

“Kookie, I got discharged remember?”

“I know, but why aren’t you home? I thought Jin-hyung was gonna bring you.”

“You’re in my apartment, right now?” All the boys knew your code, so you weren’t surprised that he was in there. You were surprised that he had the time to be there.

“Y-Yeah...I wanted to check up on you...”

“I’m okay, I guess...but aren’t you busy? Don’t you have to be at the studio right now?”

“Busy? I’m not busy, we have off today.” You sat up from your slouched posture. Your lips quivered, your hands curled into fists. The feeling in your stomach sank as those doubts you once had whirled again through in your head.

But Jin said he and the boys were busy...what...what is he doing then...

“Noona? You there?”

“Y-Yeah...hey Kookie? Remember when you asked me to go somewhere with you....take me...take me somewhere.” You gulped, and lookup up at the sky trying to stop the tears from falling.

I want to forget...even if it’s only for a moment..help me forget...please...

There was a second of silence coming from the other end. Jungkook was taken aback by your request since you had rejected his offer last night, “Where are you?”

“Jungkookie-ah!” You stood and waved your hand as you watched the boy run over to you. He was wearing the usual black hoodie, some jeans, and boots, and his face was covered with a mask. Many people wore them, but it was a necessity if he didn’t want to be swarmed by fans.

“Noona, I was surprised to hear you were out here. I thought you’d be home after speaking with Jin-hyung.” His hands were nervously clasped together, his thumbs were twiddling about. He was apprehensive thinking that perhaps Jin had already broken things off with you, but he wasn’t stupid. You loved Jin so much, and if he really did break up with you that morning, then you would for sure be bawling your eyes out right now.

“Mm, nah. He told me he was busy, so I’ll speak with him later tonight...during our date.”

I see...so he’s waiting until tonight. Jungkook thought.

“Noona...I told you to refuse, didn’t I?” He was trying not to get worked up, but he was frustrated that you didn’t heed his warning.

You pouted and limped to his side, playfully clinging onto his arm. He blushed and turned away in the opposite direction making you giggle, “Jungkookie-ah...don’t be like that. Your noona is a bit down right now, and I thought you were my comfort buddy....”

“I...I...I am...b-but...can you..uh...can you l-let go o-o-of my arm....” He used his free hand to scratch at his neck, clawing it hard enough to leave marks.

You let his arm free and stuffed your hands in the pockets of your jacket, “Tsk. If only your fans could see how ‘Mr. Spreading Legs’ the ‘International Playboy’ was in real life...I wonder where’s the man who kissed me last night?”

“N-Noona...” he hunched over, his head lowered. You had a feeling that bringing up the kiss and joking about it might’ve hurt the poor boy’s pride.

You stood on your toes and ruffled his hair, “Yah, I’m just teasing Kookie. So where are we going?”

“Mmm, wherever you’d like to go.”

You tapped your finger against your chin, “What about the sea?”

“The sea? ....okay, the sea it is.”

“Jungkook...this is not what I meant by the sea.” You crossed your arms as you stood in the middle of a seafood market. The scent of fish reeked, and the noise of bustling workers and housewives buying groceries filled the air. Jungkook patted your head with his large hand,

“Noona, the sea is quite a drive away, plus it is almost lunch. There’s a nice restaurant here that cooks any of the seafood you buy at the market for a cheap price.”

“Cheap” was your favorite word... and since he was buying, you thought you’d be nice to him and to his wallet.

You and Jungkook went in a zigzag from stand to stand, looking at all the fresh seafood. From fish to crabs to eels, you thought the entirety of the ocean was here in front of you. You always loved seafood. You’d always make the boys your special fish stew during the winter time.

You were busy examining a couple of salmon when Jungkook came next to you holding something to your face, “Noona!”

You turned to face him, but was met with the sight of a squirming squid right between your eyes, “YAH!” You screamed so loud, that even the fish in the tanks were startled. Small waves formed by the impact your scream had on the water.

He laughed at you as you rubbed your cheek, trying to get the icky slime off your face. Under that mask of his, he was bearing a smirk which you wanted to rip right off.

So...you wanna be this way, kid? I see how it is.

Swiftly, you reached your hand in one of the nearby tanks and skillfully pulled out an eel that had been swimming in there. Jungkook stopped laughing after realizing what you were doing, but he wasn’t quick enough. You threw your arm up and slapped his side with it, and turned to the merchant at the stand,

“Ahjumma, he’ll take the eel.” You smiled proudly watching Jungkook try to wipe his hoodie clean.

Soon, you found yourselves sitting at a table waiting for your food to be brought out. Jungkook was still fussy over the eel stain, and you were also fussy over the price of the eel,

“How could I have known an eel could cost that much! Wah, it must be some miracle eel...like damn...” You felt bad because it was Jungkook who bought it.

“Aish, this is why you don’t go slapping people with eels, noona...huh...and this was my favorite hoodie too...”

“Noona will buy you a better one, okay?”

“Tsk, you better.” He said with sarcasm, his bunny smile arising. He couldn’t be mad, not at you. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t be.

The food was brought out and the two of you chowed down. After your little food fight earlier, you both were in need of some energy.

Jungkook took a sip of the soup, “This is delicious....but not as good as yours.”

You chuckled, “Wow, smooth Jungkook. Getting all the ladies by complimenting their cooking, I see.”

“Not all the ladies...only you, noona.” You stopped lapping at your spoon. Surprisingly, Jungkook said that so nonchalantly, he was even still eating with no problems.

You set down your spoon, “Hey, Jungkook about last night...”

“Mmmm, noona try some of this. I heard it’s the restaurant's specialty.” He was quick to change the subject. You wanted to explain to Jungkook that you didn’t want to lead him on, but clearly, he didn’t want to hear it.

If he didn’t want to talk about it right now, it was fine. You decided that you should clear things up with Jin before clearing things up with Jungkook, one problem at a time.

“Wah, I’m so full!” You stepped out into the cold air rubbing your hand on your stomach, “Thanks for the food, Kookie.”

The sun was already setting at this point, and you knew that Jin would probably call you soon about tonight’s plans. Jungkook knew you had to go soon, and he didn’t want to watch you go. He thought that you’d get you heart broken, and he didn’t want to just send you off knowing that.

“Want to dessert? There’s a convenience store down the block.”

“Kookie, I should be heading home now...” You wanted to wash up because you didn’t want to smell like that squid Jungkook smooshed on your face on your date with Jin.

“Please, noona. Just one ice cream?” He batted his eyes and pouted as adorably as he could.

Damn those puppy dog eyes....

“Fine. Only one, then I have to go.”

The streets were surprisingly not that busy. There were only a few people here and there. Jungkook had picked a more secluded part of Seoul, one that not many people walked through. It reminded you of the area that you used to live in, “Hey, Kookie. Do you know all the quiet sides of Seoul?”

He nodded, “Yeah, pretty much. A person like me kinda has to look for quiet places especially if I just wanna walk around. I come by here sometimes with my other friends.”

“Ooo, our little Kookie has friends? Other than me? I’m shocked.” You nudged him with your elbow teasingly.

The sky was decorated with streaks of pinks and purples and oranges. You smiled looking at the sky. This whole time that Jungkook spent with you...it made you forget. It made you forget everything: all the stress, all the problems. It made you forget your entire world.

Jungkook watched you as your eyes sparkled. Your smile was breathtaking and your hair gracefully flowed perfectly at your sides, just like the time he first met you.

“The view... It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” You asked him while staring at the splashes of color above you not paying him any attention.

He smiled, still gazing right at you, “Yeah, yeah it is.”

He asked you to wait for him outside while he went to the store to buy your ice creams. Luckily there was a bench nearby and your feet had been hurting for a bit, especially since you had to use the crutch.

It was evening now, probably around six and the sun had already almost set. You took out your phone and fiddled with it while waiting for Jungkook.

Jin should be calling by now...

You sighed disappointingly. You wondered what could he be doing. Jungkook said that they didn’t have work today...they didn’t have to go to the studio today. You knew Jin. If he didn’t have to work, then he’d gladly spend his time with you. What could have been more important than spending time with you?

“You wanna go for some ramen? There’s a convenient story over there that carries the brand you like. It’ll be like old times.” You heard a familiar voice a few feet away. Lucky for you, there was a line of bushes in between you and the voices.

“Binne... wait. I have to tell you something.”

Jin? Why is he here?

“Oh, c’mon Jin. You spent the entire day with me telling me you had to tell me something! Say it already.” Jin remained silent, “See you still can’t say it. Maybe a bowl of hot ramen will help you spit it out.”

“Okay.”

You didn’t know when the tears started to come out, but they came down like waterfalls. Jin lied to you. He wasn’t at work. He was with Yoo Bin...for the whole day. You cupped a hand over your mouth. You didn’t want them to notice you behind the bushes, but when you heard their footsteps approach, you freaked out. You didn’t want them to find you...you didn’t have the courage to face Jin. So you got up and rushed as fast as you could out of there.

“Thank you, sir.” The cashier handed Jungkook the plastic bag with ice creams. He also picked up your favorite snacks hoping he could somehow convince you to stay longer.

He peered into the bag making sure he didn’t forget anything as he exited, and because his focus was trained on the bag, he almost ran into someone by accident.

“Oh, sorry I didn’t see...” Jungkook looked up and was shocked, “J-Jin-hyung? What are you doing here?” He then noticed Yoo Bin come up behind Jin, skipping over and cling onto his arm,

“Yah, Jin, why’d you stop walking?”

Jungkook scoffed, and shook his head in disbelief, “Wow, hyung...I see...”

Jin panicked, his head looked back and forth between the younger and Yoo Bin, “Jungkook, it isn’t what it looks like...”

“Then tell me, hyung? What should this look like to me?”

Jin was about to say something but Yoo Bin cut in, “Jin and I are on a date, that’s what it looks like. Right, Jin?” Her embrace on Jin’s arm tightened only making Jungkook angrier.

“Y-Yah...Binnie, that’s not...”

“Binnie? You even have a cutesy little name for her, hyung?”

“Jungkook...”

“What the fuck...I thought you were better than this. I can’t fucking believe it.”

Jin reached for the younger’s arm, but Jungkook took a step away out of the elder’s grasp, “ Jungkook listen to me...I can explain.”

“Explain....? EXPLAIN WHAT? EXPLAIN THAT YOU WENT ON A LITTLE DATE WITH YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND, YOU PIECE OF SHIT?”

Jin snapped. He forward and roughly grabbed Jungkook by the collar. Yoo Bin let go of Jin in the process, “Yah, lower your voice and show your hyung some respect.”

“You don’t deserve any of my fucking respect.” Jungkook scowled defiantly, “You don’t deserve that...or Y/N-noona’s love.” The younger smirked which finally triggered Jin.

The elder swung his free arm back and his fist made contact with Jungkook’s jaw. The impact was much harder than the younger had expected, knocking him over and onto the ground. He rubbed at the spot where he was punched making sure it wasn’t broken.

“YAH, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT Y/N’S LOVE! ” Jin was red all over, his eyes popping out of their sockets. Jungkook got up and returned his hyung’s punch hitting him right in the face and grabbing his shirt,

“AND WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE? YOU THREW AWAY HER AWAY FOR THIS BITCH.” His fist once again made contact with Jin’s face giving the elder a split lip. Jin fell onto the ground, and Jungkook got on top of him keeping him pinned under his weight, “AND I HAVE EVERY RIGHT...”

Jungkook’s fist came down, “I LOVED HER FIRST!”

Again his fist hurtled onto his hyung’s face, “AND YOU... YOU HURT HER... ”

Jin laid there taking the maknae’s assault, “ YOU ALMOST FUCKING KILLED HER...”

“AND NOW YOU’RE GOING TO BREAK UP WITH HER...” The younger dealt yet another blow. Jungkook sobbed as he sat on Jin.

He was going to go for another punch when Jin spoke up, “I’m not breaking up with her...”

Jungkook stopped midway, his arm freezing in place. He lowered his hand and loosened his grip on Jin’s collar, “W-What?”

“I’m going to propose...not break up....” Jungkook got off of him and sat beside him on the concrete.

“B-But I heard you....you were talking with Yoongi-hyung....you were going to...I thought....”

Jin sat up, wiping away the blood from his lip with the back of his hand. He felt a stream of warm blood flow from his forehead and the taste of iron in his mouth. He looked at Yoo Bin who stood there shaken up by the whole ordeal,

“Yoo Bin-ah....I wanted to tell you that we can’t be together again. I found someone else, and you should too. Seeing each other like we did before...it won’t work out. Find someone better than me.”

Yoo Bin kneeled down next to him and held onto his shoulder, “But Jin....I still love you....you can’t just...”

Jin shook her hand off, “Yoo Bin, please. Just move on. That’s what I wanted to tell you today.”

“N-No....you can’t just....you can’t....” She stood up gripping the edges of her skirt.

Jungkook, who now felt like shit for attacking Jin the way he did, helped his hyung up.

“But I’m better....I’M BETTER THAN HER!” Yoo Bin cried.

“I’m sorry, Yoo Bin.”

“You’ll regret this....trust me....you will...” She took off running leaving a bloodied Jin and Jungkook behind.

Jungkook walked Jin over to a bench and sat him down, “I’m...s-s-sorry...hyung....I really a-am....”

Jin has never seen Jungkook look so guilty before. He placed a hand on his shoulder, “It’s okay, Jungkook. Thank you for caring about Y/N that deeply...you really do deserve her more than I do.”

“Hyung....”

“But god...how am I going to explain this to her?” He gestured to his face, “She’ll be so shocked by how much more handsome I look when I’m beaten up.”

Jungkook chuckled, “How can you joke around like this? ....wait...Y/N-noona...where did she go?”

“What do you mean?”

“I was here with her...just before you and I fought. Let me try calling her.” He pulled out his phone and dialed your number, but their faces darkened when they heard the sound of your ringtone beneath the bench. Your phone had fallen out of your pocket when you retreated earlier.

The two boys became panicked. It was getting darker and darker by the second and it was dangerous for you to be out in the city by yourself at night. And since you had your bad leg, it made you an even easier target. And to make things worse, it started to rain reminding Jin and Jungkook of the night they almost lost you.

Jin and Jungkook decided to split up in search for you. Jin called the boys to go to your apartment to see if you had gone home, but you weren’t there. Namjoon checked the studio, but you weren’t there either.

You were nowhere to be found.

The rain poured down soaking your hair, your clothes, everything. Trudging along the empty sidewalk, you no longer tried to contain your sobs.

How could he do this? How could he be with her? I thought he loved me...

You were numb inside. You didn’t feel anything anymore. It hurt so much more than the night of your accident.

You didn’t know where you were, but you just kept on walking hoping that you’d somehow forget. Of course, you knew that you’d never forget. No matter how much you would try, the thought of Jin and Yoo Bin kissing kept popping in your mind...it was forever engraved there.

You came to an intersection. The light was red, and you were going to step out and walk anyway but you stopped. After your accident, you promised yourself to stop your old habits and to actually wait for the light to turn green and so you did. You were in no rush.

The pedestrian light flickered green, and a car came to a halt allowing you to walk. Slowly, you dragged your crutch along limping your way across the intersection.

“Noona!” You stopped in the middle of the street and looked up to see Jungkook on the other side, “Noona we’ve been lo...”

He was stopped by the sudden sound of an engine revving up. You looked to your side, and white lights were blinding you as you stood there frozen like a deer, “NOONA!”

You saw Jungkook run forward, and you outstretched your hand to reach for his. You jerked forward landing on the ground, your ears rang and your head hurt.

“Geez, that was a close one, Jungkook. I thought I was going to get hit again.”

You looked up at Jungkook, but weirdly he was standing a few feet away...surely he couldn’t have pulled you out in time.... That was when you realized that you weren’t pulled. You were pushed.

Slowly looked behind you, “No...”

Blood was splattered everywhere beneath you like an endless pool. He laid in the middle of the red, his brown locks clumped and stained by his own blood. You crawled to him,

“J-Jin....oh god please don’t...JUNGKOOK CALL FOR HELP!” You didn’t know what to do. He was bleeding out rapidly, and quickly losing his consciousness.

“Y/N-ah....”

“Jin? Jin, stay with me okay? Keep your eyes open, don’t close them.”

With the little strength he had, he brought his hand to cup your cheek, “My beautiful, Y/N-ah...come here...” You brought you face closer to him, your sobbing was uncontrollable at this point. Your foreheads touched as he caressed the back of your head.

“I look handsome, don’t I?”

His breaths were shallow as he spoke, “O-of course...”

“I’m glad...even in this moment....”

“Jin...stay with me...”

“Y/N...my jagiya....I don’t think I’ll.....”

Your wails grew even louder, “No, please...don’t say it...don’t say you won’t make it...you won’t die....I won’t let you...” He pulled you in, his lips captured yours. You could taste the iron of his blood, but the kiss was sweet.

Weakly, Jin smiled, “...I couldn’t forget your goodbye kiss....”

“Jin don’t...”

“I love you, Y/N...” his hand fell from your cheek, his eyes came to a close.

Gif not mine, credit to the owner

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