#but its been worse since jan last year and now i hate it so much i dont go out cause i cant stand the thought of anyone seeing me

[asakurahaos]

Mom keeps asking me to go w her to the mall and tbh i wouldnt mind going even tho usually hate going shopping but i feel so disgusted by my appearance

[seyaryminamoto]

my school works are piled up this past few weeks (graduating tingz) and i just started reading the deadlock novel it feels like i'm reading a sokkla fic every time Mcashe has a scene because they just give off the vibes skskskskksksks. BTW, what's your top5 fav scenes from the novel? PS: I'm smiling like an idiot while reading the novel ughh i hate myself

I KNOW, RIIIIIGHT?! *-* and don't hate yourself, my anon friend, I spent the whole novel smiling and laughing and losing my goddamn mind because I was having the time of my life xD enjoy this beautiful content as best you can!

I mean, frankly, Reunion already had all the Sokkla vibes I could've wanted/needed to ship these two like FedEx and I always knew I wasn't getting off this ride anytime soon. But gosh, this book... it gave me everything I wanted and MORE! Their dynamics are soooo similar to Sokkla team-up dynamics, two power couples kicking ass and taking names... oh, I just love it so much. I probably will end up reading the book a third time soon x'D

As for my favorite scenes, damn, this is tricky xD

KEYCHAIN! HE MADE HER KEYCHAIN!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! God, it's just amazing how the book explains the "vintage" look for Ashe's hoverbike the way it does, and that they literally built it together *screams!!!*, but then he gives her that keychain for her birthday present, and the implications!! THE IMPLICATIONS!!! He gave her a keychain she's held onto for TWENTY YEARS?!?!?! Ships in the OW fandom have sailed far and wide with less than breadcrumbs: we literally have been granted a boon from the GODS with all this extra context for the little things in Reunion xD

Ashe going to hell and back to save her kidnapped BFF-for-whom-she-totally-doesn't-have-feelings-yeah-yeah-sure-Jan. I love the fact that McCree is, in a way, Ashe's damsel in distress and not the other way around xD Of course, it's what you'd expect from an Ashe-centric story, but it's still an amazing sequence, all around. Gotta highlight how she loves the way he smiles like a madman when they have that shootout at the end, and how he worries so much over Ashe's injury when he took an even worse one than she did (the Sokkla vibes in that particular situation were SO STRONG! I SWEAR!).

"Jesse McCree, are you trying to make me say you're handsome?" "Am I?" ... do I need to say more. That FLIRTING. These two were on fire already and they'd only known each other for like... weeks, at this point? x'D He has no sense of moderation, he's soooo into her and doesn't hide it at all. Ashe is so busy trying to plot all the crime and Jesse's practically like a shojo heroine, "oh I can feel it, this is how my love story begins!", basically xD

Finally I pick a not-McAshe scene... to bring up the one where Ashe picks up the Viper on her last moment in Lead Rose Manor. That moment was just... POWERFUL. The feeling of epicness in that scene just overwhelmed me when I was reading it xD

The ending of the book :'D the fully formed Deadlock Gang ready for business, down to the explanation for the Est. 1976 in the logo... *sobs* the fact that so much about the character design choices in these two characters is a shoutout to the past they share is just... *gross sobbing* oh, I just love it to pieces, I'm not even sorry.

Ashe's bike race to save B.O.B. x'D that whole situation was bonkers but I looooved how fierce she was about protecting her one and only buddy while growing up (AND THAT JESSE BLUSHED WHEN SHE TAUNTED HIM WAS JUST THE CHERRY ON TOP!). I appreciated learning more about the Omnic War and its consequences, how Ashe reflects on having escaped it practically untouched in virtue of her money and societal privilege while her new friends all faced many hardships to survive. But I can't help but also love that, however uneasy others could have been about the Best Omnic Butler, Ashe was so fiercely loyal to B.O.B. that she nearly broke Julian's nose herself over his ridiculousness x'D That's HER big omnic buddy and she's not about to lose him to anyone, not her shitty parents, not a bet in a race, NOTHING! (and it's so cute that B.O.B. is just as loyal to her, too *sobs*)

Ashe grabbing McCree's arm to explain things to him on their first heist and him being all "you gonna leave that there?" and only then does she realize her hand's still on him x'D what a McCree line, and he was absolutely enjoying the attention, he doesn't even pretend otherwise.

Everything poetic McCree says or does... meanwhile Ashe's like "um yeah I don't care about poetry I want money", right until his poet soul totally smashes her square in the heart with the KEYCHAIN!!! But damn, I swear I thought McCree would hold back a lot more, and yet there he was, saying things like Calamity was brilliant and mysterious... you could practically hear B.O.B., Julian and Frankie going "I can see what's happening..." in the background xD

The conversation about what they wanted to do once they were loaded with all the cash they could possibly want. That one was a real number on my heartstrings. It ties up to what I said earlier with Ashe finally being in touch with people who are completely removed from the ridiculous social circles of her parents and her school, people who really lost a lot in the war. But where Julian and Frankie seem to look at the past a lot, I loved that Jesse is basically just thinking about the future. The fact that he says he wants to chill out in a farm and that this is what he wants in life... many, MANY, shippy wheels have turned in my head since I read that <.< maaaany...

WHEN JESSE NEARLY FALLS AND ASHE CATCHES HIM!!! UNDERRRATED AS HECK!!! The fact that he's taunting her about fear of heights, then he nearly plummets to his death because ironies are beautiful xD and Ashe pulls him back to safety only to say that she's not afraid of heights but afraid of ~FALLING~??? I mean, okay, sure, maybe I'm reading too much into that line... or maybe I'm not <.< either way, the truth is I just love how absolutely broad of interpretation that scene and that DIALOGUE are :> ehehehe.

Oh, their first encounter. The fact that it's so cute and fun, and that it's this low in the list tells you how GOOD this book was x'D "You've got an awful lot of grit for a rich girl," first words he spoke to the love of his life xD then how they talked and laughed together about the crazy stories he shared (she was crying of laughter for the first time in her life! precious girl!), and then how she sat in the car thinking about the strange feeling she was left with after meeting him... they seriously had a meetcute in prison, how can a ship get any better? xD

WHEN HE COMES BACK TO HER WHEN THEIR FIRST HEIST GOES WRONG!!! That Ashe expects him to just leave after she falls off their getaway vehicle, but Jesse saves her and goes "pfft that's just not my style", basically... *sobs* without realizing it she ends up picking up that particular philosophy of his, saving her friends no matter the cost...! Honestly, though, the fact that every time something like this happens it hits Ashe like a truck racing downhill with no brakes because she's NEVER been cared about by anyone but B.O.B. and she's completely new to friendships and bonding with people... and in the mean time, Jesse immediately is "ride or die" with her because that's how he rolls... beautiful relationship dynamics between characters who influence each other for the better are just beautiful :')

A silly one here: Jesse enjoying the good life in Lead Rose. That description of him looking like a marshmallow in the CHAISE LOUNGEEEEE!!! (the one he references in their in-game interactions *CRYING SO MANY TEARS*), was just too cute to bear x'D Ashe just jumping back into work mode... while he was just thrilled to be a marshmallow in a towel xD

... So, um, I went overboard because I love this book a little too much for my own good :> what can I say? When things I love are good, I go wild xD There's probably more scenes I loved, but these... thirteen? XD are the ones that came to mind.

I think one of my favorite things now is reexamining Reunion with all this extra context in mind. The first time I watched that cinematic I, of course, fell in love with these two outlaws because how could I not? But while subsequent rewatches revealed a lot of things I didn't pay enough attention to the first time around, the book has done even more than I could imagine possible for a short that was already as shippy as could be xD

Ooookay so, shippy ramblings about Reunion, coming up! (simply because I have to put these down SOMEWHERE XD and your ask was a good idea for that, anon!)

First off, Jesse very much staged the whole rodeo in Reunion. He sent the tip to Ashe, he wanted Echo's crate specifically. He thought they could work together, basically, despite knowing it was entirely possible that those hopes wouldn't pay off. This train, according to the wikia, was a government train, so Jesse is very much telling Ashe to give a finger to the government for all he cares, all he wants is one (1) crate.

Ergo, Jesse, for all his "nice guy bountyhunter" deal, doesn't disapprove of Deadlock's actions. If anything, he counts on them to be exactly what he needs in order to get what he wants. He practically trusts Ashe to pull off the train heist disaster perfectly and only steps up when it's time to collect Echo.

Then the wacky shoot-out happens, it's veeeery charged (the UST is so thick, I swear...), and Jesse wins. He ties up Ashe, floats her off on the payload with the rest of the gang, and he sets Echo free. He's helping her out very nicely and everything, but the context in question is... he received the recall notification thingy XD Winston called him back to Overwatch, and Jesse...

... Jesse doesn't want to go back.

Jesse says "they want me", and the displeased tone of his voice, paired with the look on his face when he says that line, speak for themselves.

That, in my humble opinion, isn't the sequence of expressions you'd expect from someone who intends to return to the group where he thrived, had the time of his life and found his true calling. To me, he actually looks irritated about the recall (the sequence of expressions during that line is much better when you watch the full thing x'D), as though he REALLY doesn't want to return. He's not against Overwatch, I'm not quite saying that, otherwise he wouldn't have set Echo free and told her to go back at all... but this isn't remorse. It's not "Oh, I'm not good enough for Overwatch anymore". Nope... this is "My time with them is over and I don't plan on going back unless I have no choice", as far as I can tell.

If OW2 does bring him back into the fold and he's a perfectly chill and happy guy about it, I'll seriously be surprised. I mean, he could have set Echo free and, once his business is over, returned to Overwatch with her, he could have been in the Paris cinematic if he'd done that...

But he's not there.

Which outright says he didn't do that :> oops.

Basically, I think Jesse's reaction in Retribution (where he's markedly the most morally correct one of the bunch, and he's the former outlaw :'D) tells you his displeasure with Overwatch ran very, very deep. And someone can very easily say he felt the same way about Deadlock and that's why he left them for Overwatch... but that's conjecture. His displeasure with Blackwatch (and, in consequence, Overwatch), however, is FACT. And the previous conjecture falls flat pretty quickly considering he's perfectly fine with Ashe's train heist, even sets it up himself, from what the story suggests, so... how ~appalled~ was he over her choices and actions? Not appalled at all, if you ask me, and after you read Deadlock Rebels, you actually understand why: Jesse trusts Ashe.

From the first moment she enters the same prison block he's in, he's drawn to her. He wants to impress her, he absolutely enjoys her company and making her laugh (just as much as she enjoyed laughing at his wacky stories), and he's plain thrilled that she comes back for him when she does. Ashe manages the gang with inexperience but she's always willing to improve, and you see Jesse sticking with her through thick and thin, supporting her at the best and worst times alike, always putting his faith on her and constantly watching out for her (he protected and shielded her from attacks with his own body sooooo many times *sobs*). Ashe starts out intending to keep most profits for herself, and Jesse doesn't care much at first... but then she starts to share profit equally between their team. She works on her own bike herself, her own ride, and she plans and solves problems as best she can, to a point of even going overboard with planning too much. She's wild, reckless and takes insane risks... and this guy loves every second of it. The matter of morality regarding the actions of a criminal gang is, of course, something to think about... but as far as the book goes, Ashe mainly targets her own family, their specific brand of bullshit, and in the process she ends up helping lots of people and even saving lives that might not have been saved otherwise. I'm not going to put my hand on the fire here and say Deadlock never ever did anything absolutely wrong to people who didn't deserve it... but for a criminal gang? They're honestly the most wholesome one the OW team could have come up with, if you ask me.

So where you see Jesse is very much antagonistic with Reaper/Reyes, where he loses his temper with the guy's choices, he doesn't ever do that with Ashe. Overwatch ARE supposed to be the good guys... so how weird that Jesse McCree, reformed outlaw, ends up so disappointed with these guys when he was actually thrilled with Ashe's managing of their gang, as far as we saw. So much so that, when it came down to it, Jesse McCree, 20 years later, still counts on Ashe to give him a hand (without her full awareness) with a little operation to help out an old friend of his. Also worth pointing out: he doesn't want to fight at all, while Ashe, of course, does. Deadlock for life, is what Jesse said... and he's not Deadlock anymore, hasn't been for who knows how long. Worse yet... his tattooed arm is gone. It's like all his ties to Deadlock have been severed.

And even so, he came to Ashe and hoped she wouldn't want a shootout with him. Even when he knows she might be beyond unforgiving because of the betrayal (he has seen directly how outraged she was about a certain someone betraying her in the book...), Jesse goes back anyway and hopes it won't come to this.

THE IMPLICATIONS, MAN!!!

Carrying on: Echo is surprised that Jesse shows no intentions of going back to Overwatch. She asks him what he's going to do... and what does Jesse say?

He puts his cowboy hat back on (the symbolism in this short, I swear...), and when she asks him what he's going to do, he tells her "I've got some business to attend to."

THE MUSIC PICKS UP.

AND THEN HE CLIMBS ON THE BIKE HE BUILT WITH ASHE.

YOU GET A DELIBERATE CLOSE-UP TO THE KEYCHAIN.

THEN THE CAMERA PANS UP TO FOCUS ON THE PICTURE, TORN AND TAPED BACK TOGETHER, THAT ASHE CARRIES ON THIS BIKE, A BIKE WHICH, LET'S BE REAL, IS BASICALLY A MCASHE BABY CHOPPER/HOVERBIKE HYBRID, AND AS SHE PUTS IT LATER, IS...

HER

BIKE!!!

When Jesse says he has business to attend to, he could pick up any bike he wants (since it'd stand to reason that the other guys Ashe came in with would have bikes of their own). He could escape on horseback for all we know xD so there are lots of options... but no. He takes HERS. Right after saying he has "business to attend to".

Look, I could be wrong. I could be dead wrong. I can absolutely be digging around and going INSANE because nothing I ship EVER gets this much content.

But we literally get a guy saying he has "business" to take care of, and the cinematic focuses exclusively on elements that, even BEFORE Deadlock Rebels, all point towards Ashe?! You could easily say that taking her bike is just the final nail on the coffin, his last trolling idea to mess with his one true love... but that picture is right there. That picture, with them in their youth. The picture, btw, was bigger than just them: B.O.B.'s hand is there. The top of the picture is uneven, suggesting Ashe probably tore it to shreds in a fit of rage... and then specifically put together THEIR PART. And then she taped that to her bike's dashboard. Meaning, she carries the goddamn memory of Jesse with her EVERYWHERE SHE GOES. And she does it WILLINGLY.

Which, in turn, answers why Jesse expects MAYBE Ashe wouldn't go full-on hostile when they meet: this trolling cowboy knows exactly what he means to Ashe. He's not surprised when he sees that picture on the bike. He doesn't toss it away, which he could have, if he were saying "we are history now, forget it gurl" (and let's be honest, what a dick move that would have been @_@), he doesn't flinch after noticing and then goes "yeah, no, I'm picking another bike".

NOPE. The familiarity with which they talk, the way he hopes she'll just let him walk away, the fact that she DIDN'T change the keychain and bike in all those years and he's not even SURPRISED...

Jesse knows how much she loves him, point-blank. He's completely aware of it... and he's very much okay with it.

So much so... that I'm something of a 90% sure that the business he intends to deal with is ASHE HERSELF.

And no, I don't mean he's going to go on another shootout with her... I mean, evidently, that Jesse wants to come home. That he's tried the life of Overwatch, and he's decided to leave it behind. He's turned bountyhunter now, vigilante, pretty much... but he comes back to Ashe all the same. He's come back for the first time in who knows how long (going by Ashe's expressions and sarcasm with the "you promised you'd write" line, it miiiiiiight be they haven't seen each other since he got recruited into Blackwatch), and he expected a peaceful encounter, no less.

A good question to ask here is... what did Jesse hope would happen, if the encounter HAD been peaceful? He would've released Echo, sent her away to her business, and stayed behind anyway because he had business to deal with. Which business? :'D why... the business that would've been standing right in front of him.

There's no other, logical reason why this cinematic would put Ashe and McCree's picture into focus right when McCree says what he does to Echo. There's no other reasonable choice why McCree would turn his back on Overwatch quite so firmly. We know he had two important ties in his life: Overwatch and Deadlock. And Overwatch stole him away from Deadlock for a VERY long time. Well over half the time Deadlock has been in operations, as far as I can tell. He picked Overwatch over Deadlock once before... and now, it seems he's picking Deadlock over Overwatch instead :')

The follow-up short, Roadtrip, doesn't do anything to change my mind. The trolling jerk, Jesse McCree, hovers past Ashe's payload, where she's just... complaining, as she hovers xD going by what I know of the game and that map, the payload may just be en route to the gang's hideout, so that, I'd say, could explain why she hasn't climbed off it or escaped in any way (which she reasonably would have, if Jesse was trying to, I don't know, send her and her people to the authorities).

My point here is, however, that Jesse is headed the same way the payload is. If his destination is the same one, he'll beat it there for sure. Maybe, yes, he'll go away and drive well past the hideout... but maybe that's exactly where he intended to go.

Maybe, in the end, Reunion is about a man who's finally coming home :D

In addition, goes without saying, Ashe's rant about how everyone falls to pieces over Jesse showing his "stupid mug" (uh-huh, stupid, ANGELIC mug, we know what you really think, girl xD) ends with her saying she should have "put a bullet in him the minute he showed up".

Which begs the question of why didn't she.

Then, of course, she says she hates McCree when he drives past her while listening to some really ridiculous honky-tonky-sounding music x'D I cannot even help but imagine him deliberately picking that radio station or whatever it was just to annoy Ashe when he drove beside her, and so that she can get extra pissed when she retrieves her beloved bike, turns on the music and it's just more honky-tonky stuff x'D but anyway, the thing is she shouts after him, tells him that's her bike and says she hates him. B.O.B. wordlessly speaks for us McAshe shippers by giving Ashe the most "sure, Jan" side-eye in the history of side-eyes, and Ashe notices and is outraged enough to knock B.O.B.'s little hat right off his head again.

Again... this is renowned outlaw Elizabeth Caledonia "Calamity" Ashe, sitting on a payload, groaning about the guy she once very much had feelings for (and that doesn't even begin to cut it, if you ask me x'D) and for whom she tooooootally doesn't anymore, that picture on her bike doesn't MEAN that, OBVIOUSLYYYY!!, and so, she sits up, complains and doesn't do much of anything to get out of her current situation, right? :>

So, summing up my current understanding of EVERYTHING, thanks to Deadlock Rebels and my obsessive rewatches of Reunion + Roadtrip:

Jesse deliberately sought out Ashe so she would indirectly, unknowingly, help him set Echo free from the government's clutches.

Jesse hoped for a peaceful encounter despite knowing he might not get one.

Jesse has no intentions of returning to Overwatch but was willing to perform one final act of service for them by releasing Echo so she'd go give Winston and co. a hand.

Jesse is NOT surprised to see that Ashe: 1. Didn't change bikes at some point in the twenty years since they built it. 2. Didn't swap the ignition key for a button, the way she says she thought to do it in the novel until he gives her the keychain. 3. KEPT THE POETIC AF KEYCHAIN, despite resenting Jesse for his betrayal. 4. KEEPS A PICTURE OF THEM IN THEIR YOUNGER YEARS PASTED ON HER BIKE'S DASHBOARD.

Jesse claims he has business to deal with: he doesn't clarify said business verbally, but every shot after he says those words focuses on elements related to Ashe... and then, along with the novel's context, it's elements related to their BOND. Everything in that shot, EVERYTHING, is connected to the two of them. Elements that weren't shown before or during their shootout, and that are only introduced in that final moment when McCree is off to deal with his "business".

Ashe doesn't climb off the payload or stops it (which, going by how McCree simply pressed a button, and Ashe isn't immobilized in the least, she easily could have done it too if she had wanted to). Suggesting that, wherever the payload is heading, it isn't anywhere dangerous for Ashe and her crew, ergo, she is 100% sure McCree isn't trying to screw her over by turning her in to the authorities or so (or, at worst, she's completely confident that, even if he is going to do this, she'll be able to get out of it easily).

Jesse drives in the same direction the payload is headed. Another hint that suggests he might intend to head to the Deadlock hideout and that, whatever business he has left to deal with, it involves them.

If his intent ISN'T to go to the hideout... Jesse is still guaranteeing that Ashe will come after him by stealing her bike, the 18th birthday gift he gave her, and the picture she keeps of them. That he takes that very bike practically serves as painting a target on his back for her to hunt down, and he KNOWS IT.

In short: Jesse will have plenty of business with the Deadlock Gang in his future, and going by how pleased he seems to be when riding the bike, he's perfectly happy to handle that business on his terms, whenever he wants to handle it.

Extra tidbit: there's nothing in Deadlock Rebels about Jesse's smoking habit, something he definitely did pick up at some point while in the gang because, hahaha, he IS smoking in the picture Ashe keeps of him :> Which makes me wonder why, of all pictures Ashe chooses to keep on her bike's dashboard, she picks one where he's smoking.

Then, it makes me wonder about the fact that Jesse deliberately starts smoking when he's standing right in front of her (and then he winks at her!). He tosses that cigar after things get kind of dangerous for him because B.O.B. does something, and then... then he goes back to smoking.

RIGHT WHEN HE'S CLIMBING ON THE BIKE.

Like... seriously...

*unintelligible fangirl screaming*

I could be looking too deeply into this. I know I could be. Maybe Blizzard just wants me to go CRAZY with little symbolism and hints charged with SO MUCH MEANING that maybe don't have as much meaning as I thought it did...

... But man, I've sailed into the depths of the shippiest oceans for many ships that have gotten actual breadcrumbs from canon. I've gone wild over ships that have zero opportunity to become a thing in canon continuity. I've written a nearly 3M words story based on a ship that is just UNEXPLORED AMAZING POTENTIAL and ngl, I love exploring it myself, so I don't even begrudge canon that much for not giving it to me anymore.

But the fact is, no ship in OW, as far as I've seen, has remotely as much content, hints and strong ties as McAshe does -- at least, no ships between heroes. We had a cinematic that was CHARGED with significance, with little gestures, with even the smallest facial expressions that carried soooo much more meaning than whole episodes or even seasons in TV shows. And then? We got a novel. A full novel depicting their origins and exploring their dynamics, how tight their friendship was, and how some strong feelings were certainly brewing there, even if neither one was ready to act on them yet (as far as we saw...).

Finally... I'll say I did start working on a Sokkla Western AU ages ago because the idea I had for one was pretty amusing. Then Reunion dropped, and I said "Why would I need to finish that story anymore when the Sokkla Western AU is RIGHT HERE?!"

And that's it, I will stop rambling now because this got insanely long x'D but thank you very very much for giving me this chance to go WILD on everything I can see, within all those canon hints, with these two *-*

[lizacstuff]

Liza that 3rd fragman 👀 "if I was born a 100 times I'd fall in love with you everytime" Eda saying this is their last obstacle and nothing can separate them, serkan's "I'll be right back, close your eyes I'm here" If this isn't all a red flag for shits about to hit the fan then I don't know what is LOL (but also how cute to Edser look and them telling each other they love each other very much 😭😭😭)

That fragman is both the SWEETEST and the MOST OMINOUS thing I’ve ever seen. ALL AT ONCE.  

Friends... we’re gonna go through some things.  That being said, everything is going to be great. These writers have been solid so far, and I have faith they have come up with something really interesting to increase the longevity of this show. And I don’t know about you, but I’m prepared to go through some things if it means keeping Eda and Serkan for longer.  (I heart them)

This show is about Eda and Serkan and their love story, at it’s core it’s a comedy, it will all lead to happy things, but... yeah, buckle up! 

I have a lot of asks both about the fragman and last ep, so I’m going to answer a bunch under the cut. 

Anonymous said: The fandom theories about episode 28 have gotten so wild that I literally think the most shocking thing would be if they actually got married and were not separated (emotionally or physically). What if the earlier painful episodes were to make us believe that things couldn't possibly go right in 28 and it's a reverse psychology trick?

You could be right!  I like your thinking. I checked on twitter and I had to back away slowly. The juvenile temper tantrums were too much for me today.  

Look, I think it’s clear something big is coming. It has to, there has to be something that shakes up the show. Some of the theories are more upsetting and catastrophic than others, but the writers won’t do anything that dings either character or their love for one another.  Whatever happens will showcase the connection between these two and the chemistry between the actors, that’s the point of everything, and anything that does those things is gonna be a-okay with me. 

@jan31​ Hi Liza. Do you think we are going to see the wedding in 28 or they will leave it on a cliffhanger for next week. Lots of theories going round mainly cos of Neslihan saying new dimensions coming in episode 29, which could just mean married life etc. I have seen suggestions of memory loss, it's all a dream since episode one. I would personally love Eda to wake up like in episode one but for it to be a total turn around and she is the boss and Serkan the employee. Eda being robot yildiz appeals to me!!! I know it will never happen but leave me here with my dreams!!

I started the day at 90% sure they’ll be married in 28/29, but now I’m down to like 30% that they’ll get married in these episodes. I really, really want them to get married before whatever happens happens, because every scenario I can think of for this reset or starting again, seems like it would be better if they were married.  

However, the shooting spoilers from today, make me question that. Namely the videos where Hande appears to still be wearing the ring on her right hand. We shall see, that could be for many reasons. 

Honestly, though, I wouldn’t hate a memory loss storyline. Seeing one of them (and Serkan’s line in the trailer makes it seem like it might be him) lose their memory and have to fall in love all over again? There are worse fates for a shipper than getting to experience that all again but in a different way.  

Anonymous said: Your response to the fandom drama anon was so good, it's exactly how I feel. While I don't know what the old posts that were like are (that's shady as fuck) I did see all the other drama go down and wow. The actresses def need to stay in their lane and some of the fans, hoooo boy, it's obvious they're young based off their reactions alone. Had to unfollow some people once I realized what they were like. Also some of the IRL shipping reminded me of col*fer stuff, reading into everything and blowing it out of proportion (which then gets picked up by paps....). But you're right in that at least the show related drama is tame compared to OUAT. But still, people being too careless even while they know the paps see everything and harass Kerem and hande (omg did you see the video of hande the other day stopped in the van and she looked so overwhelmed 😔)

You’re referencing this post here about yesterday’s drama. 

Today Neslihan made it worse by addressing everything and claiming she didn’t like all those Hande-bashing posts because... wait for it... she was HACKED. Oy. Hackers got in and went back two years to like gross posts about Hande? Sure, Jan. While I don’t believe that for a second, I guess that at least gives her cover with Hande so they can all pretend it’s true and move on so it’s not awkward on set.  But, yikes, she needs to consult a publicist, she took a narrative that was circulating in certain circles in fandom and made sure all her followers were aware. Not very savvy. 

As for the paps coming after Hande, yes I did see her in the car, she did look overwhelmed. Back off vultures!!! That’s why I think Kerem sometimes throws himself to the wolves so that doesn’t happen. She always handles them like a pro, but you can tell she’d rather be anywhere else on earth than talking to them. 

The pap stuff is worse than I’ve seen before, they’re like vultures circling for any conjecture (sometimes made up out of thin air) they can turn into a question and blame fans. OUAT actors dealt with nothing like this. Also I can’t believe they never ask about the show. Like after last week? They could legit ask about the sex scene which probably would have given them some angle on the actors that they wanted, (especially since it was too hot for Turkish TV) but they let that pass them by, and instead asked the same questions about being together that they never answer. Dumbasses. They are not only awful people, they are awful at their jobs. 

In Van, the paps pay off crew members for info, they always know more than fans. Also I don’t remember stars of my shows getting this level of tabloid attention before. Except for on Riverdale, Lili and Cole generated that level of interest, and while I didn’t pay terribly close attention to them, I feel like they rarely talked to the paps, were just photographed. Also I don’t suspected the CW of calling the paps on them, but I suspect either the network or production company of sometimes calling them on Hande and Kerem. 

Anonymous said: Do you think it’s weird that they didn’t touch the kidnapping at all in either trailer? They might not have filmed it in time for the 1st one but certainly the 2nd. And I’m definitely not complaining about the ones we got because its like a fairytale but the kidnapping was the cliffhanger...? 🧐 I think they should’ve just left the princes storyline at “he went back to his country” but then they didn’t so......

If they’d left his story at just going back to his country, then the Prince really wouldn’t have served his purpose. He was brought on to cause some sort of trouble, so they probably need him to cause the trouble before he goes, lets hope it ends with this kidnapping!

And to answer your question, yes, I do think it’s weird that neither trailer touched on it. On any other show I’d think it was a huge red flag, but on this show maybe not as much because  a) there’s obviously a lot of romance in this episode, it’s not crazy that they are focusing on that to draw people in with the promos  b) this show likes to do cliffhangers that end up being no big deal, that happens a lot.  

Who knows it could turn out to be a big deal that shapes the rest of the episode in some unexpected way (Eda’s captured the whole episode and she’s dreaming about wedding prep, or... who knows) but I think it’s more likely that they resolve in the first 5-10 minutes and then move on.  Since we know from the summary (not that I trust those) that Serkan goes on the bachelor weekend, it feels like the Prince is taken care of prior to that. I don’t think he’d leave her alone for a second if there was a chance the Prince was still a threat. Perhaps Babaanne is pissed he tried to kidnap Eda and tells them she’ll handle it herself???

Anonymous said: Semiha not being in the promo is highkey suspicious. The actress is promoting the episode lol. She's about to Evil Queen this wedding ceremony but you know what, I'm fine with whatever she has planned if they end up married at the end of the day. What's funny is that since a lot of fans these days will assume that there will be shocking negative plot twists, not actually having one here would be a plot twist so I hope the writers keep them together for whatever's next haha

You’re not wrong, at this point, having this wedding take place would be a shocking twist for all of us!  As for Semiha... hmmm... it will be interesting to see what her reaction is to Eda being kidnapped by her pick of suitor. Serkan Bolat might be the son of the man indirectly responsible for her parents death, but he would never hurt her. Take note, Grandbag!  

Anonymous said: Do you mind sharing your speculative scenarios?

After the trailer today, I don’t know if I can even remember some of them. 

Memory loss

Grandma forces Serkan to choose between Eda and his company/wealth,  he chooses Eda and they start over from scratch with nothing

Time jump

AU starting over, showing a different path they might have taken together

Dream

These actors playing different characters in a new story

I don’t think the last three are likely, but they did spring to mind after some of Neslihan’s teases. 

Anonymous said: So this show doesn't get like fantastic ratings (it actually seems to be on the lower end compared to all other dizis airing) but the social media engagement is off the charts. Why is that?!? Is the show just extraordinarily popular internationally? or that this is a "shipping" show? I'm floored by the numbers - its like no other show/fandom is even trying

The ratings were terrific during the summer. But to your point, it has a huge fandom both in Turkey and internationally, but it’s worth noting that most of those charts you see where it beats every other show in every imaginable social metric is just for Turkey.  

It’s one of those lightning in a bottle situations where you get the right property and the right actors together at the right time and magic happens.  And, for sure, the number one reason is the shipping. Shipping drives fandom engagement, and a fantastic ship with a juicy, fun, tropey love story is what this show offers. It also offers up two extremely attractive, talented, likeable leads with off-the-charts chemistry (plus the added speculation about an off-camera relationship that has intrigued more than a few fans, tabloids and gossip sites and fueled interest) who have done a good job of building the fanbase through their social media engagement. Plus the timing is part of it as well. I don’t know about you, but this show hit the spot during this pandemic and the horror of 2020. We all needed this escape. 

Anonymous said:Do you think something happened in the writers room after the backlash of 25 and fan disappointment after Ayse's announcement? I feel like a switch flipped and now we're in fanficland with how much good content we've gotten in these last two episodes. Like I thought maybe they should wrap up the series soon before the characters got completely off the tracks but they may be finding their groove now and I'm interested to see what their next twist is after they can write out Balca/Seymen.

I don’t know about a switch flip, this show has been fanfic land since the first episode!  The tropes! That is how I described it to multiple people when I first started watching: an AU fanfic come to life.

As for the writing changes, no, I don’t think backlash after 25 affected 26 or 27, because 26 was already 90% shot, and 27 already written. However, I assume they themselves could tell that 25 got just too dark and had strayed pretty far from the DNA of the series. While I didn’t think it was bad, it was not fun to watch and this show ought to be fun to watch. 

Let’s hope, however, that the backlash affects future episodes in that they know what works... and what doesn’t.  The last two episodes definitely felt reminiscent of the first batch of episodes. Light, funny, romantic. If they can keep that tone... I’ll be thrilled.

Anonymous said: i didn't realize how much i missed "together" edser until watching 27.. it's been so long since they were "officially" together and we also had such few episodes of it.. ppl have been comparing it to 12 and while in some ways i agree, edser are always so different here than they were there. 12 was them navigating their new relationship.. they were more shy and finding their footing.. here they are very much established, as they should be after knowing their love for so long in comparison to 12!

Yes, it was lovely. You know I’ve preached a lot about how even though Eda and Serkan were broken up, they’ve still been together all this time. And it’s true, but there is something about them truly being together that is magical. We never got enough of that the first time around (a writing mistake in my opinion) and they’re so good together it’s lovely to watch. 

Anonymous said: Serkan not asking for help from Balca when asking his team for help with the marriage gifts preparations and refusing her offer of help when she asked made me so happy. Good job Serkan! He's learning! She's not trustworthy!

Yes, that was a good moment. And he was eyeing her very warily when she offered. The thing I don’t understand is how has no one caught on that she’s working with Babaanne? That entire office is filled with nosy people, has no one remarked on the number of times Balca has gone up to the office or they’ve disappeared for lunch at the same time? Come on Leyla! Come on Melo! Notice these things!  

Anonymous said: Fingers crossed that we finally make progress towards getting rid of Seiman & Balca now that all the girls were drugged and Eda was put in the car in the last episode. Unless Seiman has a change of heart and takes Eda back inside before anyone wakes & the guys get there then the show has to address it. Although I do not think Balca is going to back down unless Serkan straight up tells her he has zero interest in her and never will. Totally fine if that happens in the next episode.

Will Balca backdown even if she’s humiliated like that? She’s so delusional I’m not sure. What I am sure is that she’s dangerous. This came in before we saw the other two fragmans that have no mention of the kidnapping. Hard to picture how that is so easily resolved. Unless she frees herself (which seems unlikely in her groggy state) or maybe Melo’s future boyfriend is able to stop it before they get far?  Or I don’t know. I just know that I want to see Serkan lose his mind and all the other characters see Serkan lose his mind and then I want it to be over. LOL.

Anonymous said: As much as I am loving everything Edser, I cannot wait for Seiman, Balca and Grandma to be gone. And I am even more annoyed to think that the show might try to redeem all 3 characters. All 3 of them are truly awful people and no need to waste air time trying to make the audience think any different. Just my opinion...🤷🏻‍♀️. Show please finally expose those 3 for the psychos they are and get rid of them.

Bye bitches!  I don’t think there’s any redemption for Balca and Seiman. They both have poisoned/dosed people, hard to come back from that.  And there is no need to redeem them because neither is compelling enough to be a long-term character. But maybe Granny, we probably will see a redemption arc for her. 

Anonymous said: i know you were worried a few weeks ago that with ayse leaving as writer, we probably wouldn't have the same sort of comedy as previous episodes... but istg the whole kiz isteme scene, especially with chef alex, had me almost crying with laughter. especially when serkan off the cuff just goes "well if that's an option..." to everyone misunderstanding alex "wanting" ayfer for 2 nights and then eda ready to beat him with the flowers he bought her... comedic gold lmao.

SO GOOD! I was thrilled to see that sort of comedy, the sort of comedy we’d come to expect, from these writers. I think it bodes very well indeed!  

That scene was amazing. I know Neslihan said that much of it was improvised. Probably that line from Serkan (since Serkan is SO out-of-his-mind in love I’m not sure he could even joke about having Eda only two nights a week! LOL) was improv from Kerem, and Aydan asking about the other nights, and Seyfi bringing up the weekend. And Eda’s very Hande-esque “Ser-KAN.” 

I just love rewatching that scene and checking out everyone who is breaking character and just losing it. Cagri most of all. He’s blurred aback there but you can see Ferit spends the whole time laughing or trying to stifle a laugh. Reminds me of Cagri in the scene in 18 when they’re watching the security footage he was losing it in that scene as well. 

Anonymous said: i'm scared - I think they are really about to give us all of these happy EdSer scenes only to have something happen RIGHT before the wedding ceremony due to Babaanne. Based on the last episode, I don't think there's any chance of a breakup (knock on wood) but what if Serkan gets arrested, goes to jail for 2 years, and we get a time jump?

This was sent before the last two teasers, so yes I think something is gonna happen. We shall see!  I don’t really think Serkan going to jail for 2 years is in the cards, at least I hope not!  Besides if Babaanne did that she would have no hopes of ever reconciling with Eda, so that seems unlikely she’d follow through and leave him there for so long a time. 

Anonymous said: With the last week's sex scene, they did a lot of fade outs but the scene was basically still there so it wasn't much wasted effort for the actors. But for what they're teasing in episode 28 - idk how they can get away with showing them in the shower at all if Serkan lifting Eda with her clothes on had required blurring? Is Eda dropping her robe even pushing it? It's intriguing indeed.

Great questions. We’re 36 hours from finding out (well I'm longer than that because I wait for the English subs, hee hee) All I know is I want to see these scenes.. one way or another! 

[ladyxxdaydream]

a year-in-review meme - for writers!

I thought up this writing meme for fic writers who might have been staring at the artists having their lovely and well-deserved collages of their work through the year - and wanted to join in the fun! also this works as a great reminder for those of you (and me) who’ve been thinking that they haven’t been writing as much as they want to, and allows you to go back to enjoy your old fic ;D

Rules: pick your favourite sentence from a work you posted / wrote during a month of 2020! if you didn’t write anything in any particular month, don’t worry! tell us what you were doing or use it as free space for runner-up sentences. after that, tag 8 people or more to do the meme!

That being said, here’s mine:

Tagged by: @rikacain !!

I’m tagging -- @flailinginlove @aviss @kiitsvne @stupidbadgers and @tea-blitz who doesn’t use tumblr anymore but WHATEVER. and anyone else who wants to do it! <3

~~~

JAN: (from Heavy Weight)

“Iruka felt Kakashi’s eye on him. Most people feared the Sharingan, and for good reason, but Iruka feared his real eye, his own eye. It had a way of seeing straight past Iruka’s defenses, no dōjutsu required, and deep into his soul.“

FEB: (from Old Pine)

“Do you want children?” Iruka asked, feeling like the timing was right.

Kakashi was quiet for a few moments. Iruka had learned to read Kakashi’s silences for what they were. It wasn’t hesitation like he had initially thought. Kakashi simply liked to think things through before answering immediately. Iruka liked that about him.

“I think we have four already,” Kakashi said, eyeing Sasuke, Naruto, Ino, and Sakura through the glass door.

Iruka laughed, but refrained from clarifying. He knew Kakashi understood what he meant and would answer him shortly. Iruka had also learned that Kakashi had a tendency to be indirect, before he got around to what he actually wanted to say.

MARCH: (from Mouthful)

“So, Kakashi.”  Iruka said, unable to stand still any longer.  “We both like what we see. Now what?”

 He wasn’t usually this forward, but he was feeling it tonight. All of this playful banter was riling him up—it was his favorite way to flirt.

 “I like a man whose direct,” Kakashi said, shifting his stance to lean an elbow on the table. “But hmm,” he hummed. “I don’t know.”

 He gave Iruka a seemingly bored look, as if the obvious invitation to leave together was lost on him.

 “Well, I like a man whose decisive, so I guess that rules you out.”

 Kakashi let out a hard, surprised laugh. He downed the rest of his beer, and took Iruka by the hand, pulling him out of the bar without a word.

APRIL: (from A New Chapter)

 “I don’t know how to put this,” Sakumo started, “but… what the hell is that?”

 Kakashi looked at where his Father was pointing.

 “Uh… a diaper…?” Kakashi guessed, not sure where this was going. They had about a million others, in every color and pattern you could imagine, folded and stacked in the closet. Iruka wanted to go the re-usable route, and several of his students mother’s were eager to gift them. Kakashi had been less than thrilled by the extra laundry.

“Yes. It’s a diaper, Kakashi. Very good. Tell me, did you have both eyes closed when you put it on?”

MAY: (From Cake Substitution No Jutsu)

 “What’s this?” Iruka asked as Kakashi entered the kitchen, a fully dressed Tomo whizzing past them both.

 “Ah, it’s a backpack,” Kakashi said, crossing over to Iruka excitedly. “I saw it on display in a shop window while doing Gai’s scavenger hunt. Its arms and legs are the straps, so when you wear it, it looks like it’s riding on your back.”

 Iruka smiled, turning it around in his hands, noticing the zipper and a few pockets.

 “That’s actually pretty ador—”

 Iruka stopped speaking. The tail was tightly curled up inside plastic casing still.

 “Kakashi,” Iruka said, feeling his eyebrow twitch. “Is this… is this a leash?”

 “No. It’s a Puppy Pal… with an exceptionally long tail.”

“It’s a leash,” Iruka deadpanned. “A leash for a  child.”

 “You put Tomo inside a barrier the other day as a playpen,” Kakashi said, a matter of factly. “Why can’t I have some help controlling her?”

“That’s… that’s different!” Iruka exclaimed, feeling his cheeks heat in contradiction. “Would you like it if I put  you  on a leash, Kakashi?”

 Iruka regretted it the second it came out of his mouth. He could practically see the wolfish grin forming beneath Kakashi’s mask.

JUNE: (from Use Your Imagination)

They laid in silence for a while, listening to the sounds of the night through the cracked window—distant cars on the street, a lone dog barking, upbeat music wafting from a floor below them.  

Kakashi never wished for time to stop. In fact, he tried to keep himself as busy as possible—he chose a career that ate up most of his life for a reason. But right now? He wished time didn’t exist, hyperaware of how quickly it would pass before Iruka was back on a plane tomorrow.

He traced circles into Iruka’s lower back, watching as the brown skin pressed against his broke out in a wave of goosebumps. Iruka shivered, and then shifted, and Kakashi wondered if he was falling asleep.  

He selfishly continued his adorations, wanting to keep Iruka in this realm with him for a little while longer. He expanded his rake, sliding his fingers up Iruka’s spine, skirting around his scar, and back down again.

Kakashi wasn’t one to believe in divine intervention, or soulmates. He’d acted in enough corny films to almost make him hate the notion entirely. But the fact that a man as perfect as Iruka had come into his life so serendipitously—and just as scarred as he was—was something he couldn’t overlook.

It made Kakashi’s heart ache with want, before that ache traveled down, and curled into his gut.

JULY: (from Love Me As You Are)

“And then you demeaned their lives by calling them your soldiers—”

 “—is that not what they are?!” Kakashi cut across him, getting upset. “You’re as much a part of this system as I am, sensei! We both know the truth of it, whether we like it or not. I just called it by it’s name.”

“But they’re people too, Kakashi! Kids. They’re so much more than soldiers…”

“That’s not how I was treated,” Kakashi said before he could catch himself.

 Iruka’s mouth fell open with a punched sound.

 “Kakashi…”

 His tone was soft and free of the anger it held a moment ago.

 “Forget I said that,” Kakashi said, turning away, his cheeks heating up—the last thing he wanted was Iruka’s pity. “It doesn’t matter.”

“No,” Iruka said, shaking his head as he took a step towards him. “I’m not going to forget you said that. It does matter because  you matter.  You deserved to have somebody stand up for you too, Kakashi. I’m so sorry Konoha failed you.”

 Kakashi’s eyes burned with tears—he bit his tongue, refusing to let them fall. Those words pierced him straight through the heart. It was everything he never knew he needed to hear.

AUG:

um I didn’t write anything this month because my wife and I separated annnd my whole life was uprooted as I moved to a different country ksjdhgkdsj

SEPT: (from I’ll Fall, If You Do)

Their relationship was going really well. There were days where Kakashi still turned him away, usually corresponding with the mornings he had therapy. It was frustrating, because Iruka just wanted to be there for him, for Kakashi to open up to him completely, but he didn’t push. He knew that would only make it worse. They didn’t fight anymore, but Iruka regularly had to correct the language Kakashi used towards himself, and sometimes it was irritating for the both  of them.

But mostly… it was amazing. Their chemistry was incredible. Electric. And not just in the bedroom—they were never far from each other, drawn in like magnets, grounded by a simple touch or brush of hands. Kakashi hadn’t even left the room twenty minutes ago, and already Iruka felt the pull.

He jumped up from his seat and went to go find him.

OCT: (From Language Gap)

Iruka glanced out the bus window, his body instinctively knowing where they were about to pass. The building was still empty twenty years later, the brick still scorched, and Iruka’s nightmares were still plagued by the fire despite not being there when it broke out. He’d been sent on a delivery on foot — one steaming container of karē udon — two blocks away. He delivered to the same old lady everyday, and she always kept him longer than necessary, pressing sweets into his palm. When he had come back, the noodle shop was aflame. In his shocked state, he distantly heard something about a grease fire, before he was whisked away by the hand by his childhood friend Asuma, living with him and his father from that day on.

Iruka sighed and stood up, making his way towards the door since his stop was next. He really wished the city would do something about the building. Every time he saw it, it made him feel oddly exposed and vulnerable, like his past was staring straight at him.

He shook his head a little and stepped off the bus.

NOV: (From Brand New Sound)

Kakashi watched in stunned silence for a moment, trying to get his heartbeat under control as color effortlessly flowed from the artist’s hand onto the brick. Whoever this was, they had sort of become one of Kakashi’s heroes. People always said meeting your heroes was never a good idea—bound to be disappointing—because it brought them down to a human level.

But that was precisely what attracted Kakashi to this artist in the first place—the sheer, raw, humanness. The way they tackled hard emotions and vulnerability, baring everything through their work for others to see. It was honest and transformative, and Kakashi spent more nights than he could ever count wandering the streets when he couldn’t sleep, hoping to catch a mural he’d never seen before it was painted over. Sometimes he did, and sometimes he’d sit in front of ones he already knew and found new meaning in them.

DEC: (from Perks of Promotion)

“But why now?” Iruka insisted. “Why ask me out now? Right after I’ve made tokubetsu jounin? When we’ve known each other for years?”

 Oh.

Kakashi paused, the realization dawning on him. He didn’t blame Iruka for being suspicious of his intentions; he’d heard the way people said ‘the chuunin sensei’ or ‘the chuunin desk worker’ like it was some kind of insult. It always pissed him off.

Kakashi stared at his feet for a moment before lifting his head again, leveling Iruka with a serious stare. “Because I didn't think I’d live past 21. Because it took me an obscenely long time to become a barely functioning adult. Because I never had the guts before… I-I still don’t, not really, if you can’t tell by how much I’m fumbling around here,” he said with a nervous laugh.

[patriotsnet]

Why Do Republicans Lie About Everything

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/why-do-republicans-lie-about-everything/

Why Do Republicans Lie About Everything

Which Came First: Republican Hate Or Gop Misinformation

Do Honest Republicans Still Exist?

Hate is a great motivator. All political parties have used it to get out the vote. Generally, those who seek elected office shape information in a way that helps a certain voting block hate their opponent. Thats how we elect people in America. That is a sad reality we just have to accept in order to fix it. Hope doesnt fix it.

Whats unique and new about negative politics in the post-Obama era is that we have this thing called the Internet and dare I acknowledge itSocial Media. ;Social media has completely isolated the Republican Party base. The Internet and social media have created hard-edged, isolated buckets of information where facts dont matteragreement;and emotion matter. For republicans, agreement with their own bias is considered fact, whereas disagreement is a lie they literally transform reality to support their own opinion: the Post-Truth Era. In order to maintain that alternate reality, they have to hate those who dont agree, otherwise their reality bubble starts to break apart.

This is the case on both sides of the aisle, but the hardliners have taken it to a new level, which is why they seem to hate everything. Theyre even taught to hate things that help them like the ACA, unions, and public education.

Social media and 1000 cable channels dont increase the information we receive they focus the information and repeat it 1000 times more often. Anything can become the truth when its repeated enough times.

The Big Lie Is Gop Gospel

Cheney is not alone in suffering consequences for challenging Trumps allegations.

Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, who defended the states counting process against Trumps attempts to interfere with it, was stripped of his voting power on the State Election Board as part of Georgias new voting restrictions law.

In a special House election in Texas held on in early May, the Trump-critical Republican in the race Michael Wood got 3 percent of the vote.

In January, Michigan Republicans removed Aaron van Langevelde, a GOP attorney who broke with the party to certify Bidens victory in Michigan, from his post on the states Board of State Canvassers.

At the Utah Republican Partys convention this weekend, Sen. Mitt Romney perhaps the GOPs leading Trump critic was booed and called a traitor.

At the same time, Republicans who have embraced falsehoods about the election have been elevated.

Rep. Elise Stefanik , who appears likely to replace Cheney in the No. 3 spot, backed Trumps anti-election efforts to the hilt. Most egregiously, she falsely asserted that there were 140,000 illegal votes in Georgias Fulton County alone which would amount to more than 25 percent of all the votes in the entire Democratic-leaning county. The breakout Republican stars in the House of Representatives, Reps. Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert , both egged on the January Stop the Steal rally that culminated in the attack on Capitol Hill.

Why Do Conservatives Soak Up Lies

The evidence that conservatives crave lies is abundant.

Conservatives loved George W. Bush’s and Dick Cheney’s lies about “Saddam’s weapons of mass destruction” — loved them so much, that the researchers who wrote “‘There Must Be a Reason’: Osama, Saddam, and Inferred Justification” surveyed 49 conservative Republicans, during October 2004, who admitted that they still believed Saddam Hussein had caused the 9/11 attacks, and these researchers found that 48 of those 49 extreme conservatives were entirely impervious to the overwhelming factual evidence that was provided to them by the presenters contradicting this false belief they held. Then, a showed that when Republicans were offered the official 2004 Duelfer report that had concluded Iraq hadn’t possessed any weapons of mass destruction for years before the United States invaded it in 2003, the percentage of Republicans who believed that Iraq did have WMD immediately prior to the invasion shot up, instead of going down . Even all of the exposés that had already been published about Bush’s faked WMD “proofs” didn’t persuade Republican voters that they’d simply been deceived by the people they trusted and supported. They didn’t resent it at all; they just asked for more, from those same discredited liars.

So: why do conservatives sop up lies, on topic after topic?

They do it because, if they didn’t, they couldn’t be themselves; they couldn’t be conservatives. Lie-lovers is whom they are. It’s their identity.

———-

Don’t Miss: Have Democrats Tried To Impeach Every Republican President

The Gop Elite Gave Us This Party

This dire outcome was not inevitable: The best evidence we have suggests that the rise of the Big Lie is the direct result of strategic choices by Republican leaders.

A new paper by Dan Hopkins, a political scientist at the University of Pennsylvania, analyzes data from a panel survey, which looks at roughly the same group of people over time, running between 2007 and 2020. The survey asked people to rate the fairness of the US electoral system on a scale of 1 to 5, and tracked the changes over time.

What they found was a striking consistency: Support for the American system is both high and reasonably stable when assessed via this measure, Hopkins writes. Though there are some fluctuations, with partisans evaluating the system as somewhat less fair when the other party is in power, generally theyre small.

Hopkinss last survey wave was in October 2020 which means the results dont reflect the false allegations lobbed in the aftermath of Bidens victory. The stability documented here was very likely shattered by Trumps post-election actions, Hopkins concludes.

Other data confirm this supposition. A report from the Voter Study Group analyzed Pew surveys, conducted after every presidential election since 2004, on whether voters thought their vote was counted fairly. You see the same general stability documented in Hopkinss paper, with a majority of voters in both parties saying they were very confident their vote was counted accurately in every year except 2020:

Republicans Have A Good Reason Not To Want To Investigate Jan 6: Theyre To Blame

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Our nations preeminent bipartisanship fetishistsJoe Manchin, Susan Collins, and Lisa Murkowskiare deeply disappointed that they cant get Republicans to back an investigation into the January 6 attack on Capitol Hill. Indeed, they seem outright baffled that their efforts at compromise have fallen short on plans for a bipartisan panel. There is no excuse for any Republican to vote against this commission since Democrats have agreed to everything they asked for, Manchin said in an angry statement on Twitter. It would be so much better if we had an independent outside commission, Collins, a moderate Republican, told reporters Thursday. Is that really what this is about, one election cycle after another? added Murkowski, blasting Mitch McConnells anticipated filibuster. Or are we going to acknowledge that as a country that is based on these principles of democracy that we hold so dear, and one of those is that we have free and fair elections.

I kind of want that to endure beyond just one election cycle, the Alaska moderate Republican told reporters.

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More Great Stories FromVanity Fair

Recommended Reading: Did Trump Really Say Republicans Are Stupid

In 2009 Republicans Predicted That The Economic Stimulus Package Would Only Make The Recession Worse And Cause More Unemployment

The results show they couldn’t have been more wrong. The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 ended the recession after only a few months. Although 750,000 people were losing their jobs each month when Obama took office, after the Recovery Act was passed the rate of job loss immediately decreased each month and within a year the economy showed positive job growth.

Considering the severity of the 2008 economic collapse and the total opposition by Republicans to do anything at all to stimulate the economy, it is remarkable that the US economy recovered as quickly as it did.

Looking at the rate of job loss and job creation, its easy to see that the stimulus of 2009 was highly successful in stopping the job losses and turning the economy around.

Republicans Predicted That We Would Find Iraqs Weapons Of Mass Destruction Even Though Un Weapons Inspectors Said That Those Weapons Didn’t Exist

The Bush administration continued to insist that WMDs would be found, even when the CIA said some of the evidence was questionable. As we all know, the WMDs predicted by the Bush administration did not exist, and Saddam Hussein had not resumed his nuclear weapons program as they claimed. Ultimately, both President Bush and Vice President Cheney had to admit that there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

Don’t Miss: Who Is Behind Republicans For The Rule Of Law

Republicans Said President Obama Would Raise Taxes Sky High

It never happened. Income taxes for over 95% of Americans remained the same or lower than they were before Obama was elected. The only people whose income taxes increased were those who make more than $400,000 per year, and their taxes rose only 3%. For most Americans, taxes are still lower now than they were under Reagan.

In 1993 When The Brady Law And The Assault Weapons Ban Were Passed Republicans Predicted Increasing Rates Of Crime And Murder

Republicans Are Lying To Themselves About Trump’s Toxicity

Thankfully, just the opposite happened. While the rate of violent crime had increased steadily from the 1970s into the 1990s, it suddenly began to drop after 1993 and continued to decline for more than ten years. What could have happened in 1993 to precipitate such a sudden and prolonged drop in crime? Thats the year Congress passed the Assault Weapons Ban and the Brady Law, which mandated background checks and a waiting period to buy a gun.

Despite Republican predictions to the contrary, the Brady Law and the Assault Weapons Ban were followed by the most dramatic reduction in violent crime since the FBI started keeping statistics. The graphs below, based on the actual numbers from the FBI Uniform Crime Reports website, show how the rates of murder and violent crime in the US dropped suddenly after the 1993 Brady Law and Assault Weapons Ban were passed.

These charts show the rate of murder and violent crime over 35 years based on numbers from the FBI Uniform Crime reports.

Recommended Reading: How Many Republicans Voted For Obamacare In The Senate

Here Are A Few More Things Republicans Have Been Wrong About:

Republicans said that Obamacare would have death panels to decide who would live and who would die. Wrong. No such death panels were ever proposed and nothing of the kind ever happened.

They said the 2009 laws to improve automobile fuel efficiency standards would kill the US auto industry. Wrong. The new standards were followed by a resurgence of the US auto industry enabling them to hire back tens of thousands of workers.

They said environmental protection laws requiring companies to clean up their pollution would create an undue burden and kill businesses. Nope, it never happened.

They said Ebola would spread across the country because President Obama allowed American Ebola patients to be treated in the US. The outbreak never happened. Only three people contracted Ebola in the US and all three survived.

They said President Obama would open our borders to illegal immigrants. Wow, were they wrong about that. Under Obama, we set new records for most illegal immigrants stopped at the border and sent home.

They said Obama would drive up the Federal budget deficit. That didn’t happen. Obama cut the $1.4 trillion deficit he inherited by two-thirds.

While someone could no doubt find instances where Democrats engage in over-the-top rhetoric, nothing compares to the consistently false and erroneous claims made by the GOP in recent years. When a political party has been so dismally wrong about nearly everything over the past 30 years, that party should lose all credibility.

‘nothing There’: More Republicans Are Calling Out Trump’s Election Lies

WASHINGTON The more we learn about Donald Trumps baseless, false and discredited claims about the 2020 election, the more baseless, false and discredited those claims have become.

Just consider the revelations over the past week from Republicans:

In Michigan, a GOP-led investigation by its state Senate concluded that it found no evidence of widespread or systematic fraud in Michigans prosecution of the 2020 election.

Regarding Arizona, a report co-authored by former Kentucky Secretary of State Trey Grayson criticized the so-called audit of the election results in that state, saying it does not meet the standards of a proper election recount or audit, and that its being conducted by an inexperienced, unqualified contractor.

And over the weekend, ABCs Jon Karl writing for the Atlantic had former Trump Attorney General Bill Barr debunking Trumps claims about the 2020 election results. If there was evidence of fraud, I had no motive to suppress it. But my suspicion all the way along was that there was nothing there, Barr said. It was all bullsh!#.

Predictably, Trump lashed out at those GOP findings.

Michigan State Senators Mike Shirkey and Ed McBroom are doing everything possible to stop Voter Audits in order to hide the truth about November 3rd, the former president said in a statement, which even included those state senators phone numbers.

Even Bill Barr doesnt buy them.

Read Also: Who Won The House Republicans Or Democrats

Get Ready For Another Possible Crisis Like 2020

This is not the first time that Republicans have declared a Democratic president somehow illegitimate. They impeached Bill Clinton on flimsy grounds, after previously accusing him of crimes ranging up to murder; there was a widespread campaign to label Barack Obama an unlawful foreign-born president . These campaigns were effective: A 2019 poll found that 56 percent of Republicans still believed that Obama was born in Kenya.

Nor is this the first time Republican elites have ginned up suspicion of voter fraud for political purposes. After Republicans won a series of statehouse elections in 2010, they spent the next few years falsely claiming that voter fraud was a serious threat in order to pass voter ID laws that were nakedly designed to suppress the vote among Democratic-leaning minority groups. Research has found that, even prior to Trump, this convinced Republicans that voter fraud was a real problem when its exceptionally rare.

These earlier campaigns laid the intellectual groundwork for 2020. Republicans were already primed to believe elected Democrats were somehow illegitimate and to believe in widespread fraud in the American electoral system. Trumps innovation claiming that an entire presidential election result was fraudulent was pushing on an open door.

Paying Lower Taxes Hurts Taxpayers

Less revenue means fewer handouts. Thats bad news for Democrats who lie obsessively year after year about how tax revenue never gets the job done in distressed communities because we still arent spending enough.

Why is it that even when the party is in power, when Democrats call the shots every single year like they do in Illinois, the poor stay right where they are most valuable in poverty?

Recommended Reading: How Many Democrats And Republicans Are In The House

Times Republicans Were Wrong

It’s no secret that politicians tend to use exaggerated political rhetoric to get people to vote for them. In recent decades, Republicans have repeatedly made very ominous predictions about the horrors that will result from Democratic policies while painting a rosy picture of what will result from Republican policies. Now we have the luxury of looking back over the years to examine those predictions and policies. Below, you will find twenty-one examples of times Republicans were blatantly wrong.

Most Republicans Said That President Obama Should Be Impeached Because Of The 2012 Attack On The Us Consulate In Benghazi

Their own investigations, however, proved them wrong. Every Congressional inquiry, including those by the Republican-led House Intelligence Committee, concluded that the Obama administration did nothing wrong regarding Benghazi, that there was no stand down order given, and that neither the President nor anyone in his administration lied about it. Each and every Republican investigation has reached this same conclusion, but Republicans continue to exploit this tragedy for political gain.

You May Like: What 7 Republicans Voted To Impeach

Truth Matters Which Is Why I’m Telling It

I take comfort in knowing that I am doing the moral thing by telling the truth to my constituents.;I also;happen to believe;telling the truth;about;the 2020 election;is good politically.

If Republicans;become the party of the Big;Lie if we encourage this madness much longer we;will lose credibility with;the majority of;Americans on issues where I believe we have better ideas.;We will do;lasting damage to our republic.

True Republicans would never dream of wasting taxpayer money to hire an unknown cybersecurity firm with no elections auditing experience to audit an election that has;already been audited.;This is what the Arizona Senate is doing with their Cyber Ninja audit.

True Republicans would not;stand idly by while auditors paid with taxpayer dollars;chased;insane rumors that ballots were flown in from South Korea to change the outcome of the presidential race, or;that;secret watermarks;on the ballots;revealed by UV lights;would;expose fraud;once and for all.

This is what the Arizona Senate is doing with their Cyber Ninja audit.

Lies Damned Lies And The Truth About Joe Biden

Saagar Enjeti: Media Lets Biden SHAMELESSLY LIE About Hunter Bidens Business Dealings

Joe BidenKentucky state lawmakers vote to scrap school mask mandate Arkansas governor pushes back against Biden’s vaccine mandate RNC vows to sue over Biden vaccine, testing mandate MORE. I know him, said the House Speaker authoritatively, and that was that.

Does Bidens record warrant such confidence? Not really. In fact, Biden has a long history of lying about himself, about his past and about events that never took place.

Democrats want the 2020 campaign to be a referendum on President Trump. Fine, but if this is to be a contest of characters, it is only appropriate that Joe Bidens history of fabrication and deceit often intended to bolster his intellectual credentials also be fair game.

Over the past year, Biden thundered that the Obama administration didnt lock people up in cages. He also claimed that, Immediately, the moment started, I came out against it. And I was always labeled one of the most liberal members of Congress. Politicos rating of all three assertions? False.

No one should be surprised. Lest we forget

A video is making the rounds in which Biden boasts at a 1987 rally, “I went to law school on a full academic scholarship ended up in the top half of my class.”

Biden also maintained that he “graduated with three degrees from undergraduate school” and was the outstanding student in the political science department.

That commentary holds up well, as today more than ever Biden blunders into conversational crevasses, with no way out.

Also Check: Who Created Social Security Democrats Or Republicans

[writethehousedown]

Trust Fund, Gold Tongue (Crygi) 1/7 - Peridot

A/N: I am so excited to be taking part in the Summer Lovin’ fic challenge! This is going to be my first multichap ever, so bare with me!! I’ve enjoyed working on this for ages now, and I’m so excited to share it with you all. You can find me at my sideblog @artificialperidot, come say hi!!

Summary: Crystal hates her summer job in a country club, until she falls oh so hard for the sweet-talking millionaire daughter of the owner. Gigi would rather not spend her summer with her dysfunctional family, but a certain red headed waitress proves to be a welcome distraction.

They would both rather be anywhere else, but perhaps their summer won’t be as bad as it seems.

Hope you enjoy!!

Crystal could think of a hundred things she’d rather be doing this summer than working in a country club full of wealthy pricks. But the wage was decent, and God knows her rent wasn’t going to pay itself.

Walking into the resort for the first time had been like walking into another dimension, a complete other world from the life she knew, where there was no such thing as “too expensive”. It was like getting a glimpse into the other side of the world, of affluence that she could have never comprehended unless she had seen it with her own eyes. The complex was huge, spanning acres upon acres of land, and lavishly decorated - the front lobby had a fountain, for Christ’s sake.

Crystal thought it looked like something from MTV Cribs. On crack.

Not only was the place huge, but it had more facilities than Crystal could’ve even imagined - a golf course, a bowling alley, tennis courts, a spa, and countless swimming pools and hot tubs, some of which Crystal had yet to find on her first week on the job. Not to mention the private restaurants and numerous bars, which, as a waitress, she most often found herself working in.

So far, Crystal had learned two things in her first week working at the country club. Number one, for having such expensive taste, rich old white men liked drinking really cheap beer. And number two, despite the beer being cheap, they would do anything they could to avoid paying for it.

Crystal leaned against her beer cart and did her very best to ignore the sound of a 50-something year old country club member (who was much too loud and much too drunk for 11am on a Tuesday) babbling something about Crystal bringing him the wrong drink - that he ordered a Budweiser and not a Heineken - in an attempt to get another free pint. Crystal didn’t say a word, only nodding now and again to seem like she was listening. She was absolutely certain the guy was lying through his teeth. She specifically remembered writing down the man’s order, and double checking to make sure she had got it right. But she’d quickly learned to keep her mouth shut, because the people she was dealing with had enough money and enough influence to get her fired in an instant, and that simply was not an option for her.

She learnt that the customer is always right, even if the customer’s nose has grown five inches and their pants have set on fire.

Heaving a sigh, she mumbled out a “sorry about that, sir, I’ll get you another one on the house” through gritted teeth, before lifting all the empty glasses from the poolside table and balancing the man’s pint (which was about two thirds empty, despite it supposedly being ‘the wrong drink’) , precariously on her cart. If she had an ounce more courage, she would’ve challenged him, told him that he and his mates that had tried the same trick on her before weren’t fooling anyone, but she decided she’d leave her complaining for Jan’s ears when they were on lunch break.

She found their reluctance to pay surprising, really, since they had more money than she could even imagine. They had more money than she’d probably earn in her whole life. But, she supposed that’s how they all stayed so rich - by being cheap bastards.

She started wheeling the trolley back towards the bar indoors, hoping the guy didn’t pay much attention to the scowl that had crept its way onto her face. She decided to take the long way back, going around the pool rather than passing by his table again, which gave her a little time to cool off before she had to go inside and tell Jan or whoever was bartending to pour his beer down the sink.

She was tempted to hide round a corner and down the beer when no one was looking, because fuck, she needed a drink right about now.

Crystal found it funny that little things like that bothered her so much. She was fully aware that there were far worse things a person could do - she herself had done things that were way worse than telling a little white lie to get a free drink. But seeing it happen every day for the past week had really rubbed her the wrong way. Sure, in her last job as a waitress in a café she had encountered similar situations, but this felt different. It was different because she knew these people had the money, that they would have no trouble paying a few dollars out of their millions, and that they were stealing for the hell of it. Thinking about it made her want to scream.

Crystal wasn’t poor, per say. She wasn’t rich by any means, but her family had enough money to get by most of the time. It was only now that she was moving out for college at the end of the summer that she was in real need of some cash for her rent and her student loans. But knowing that people slave away for hours in dead end jobs just to make ends meet, and these millionaires wouldn’t pay for a fucking beer? It made her blood boil.

Although she felt like steam was coming out of her ears, she took a few deep breaths to calm herself and keep her cool. She was still working, after all. She found herself staring into the pool water as she rolled the cart along, watching as the sun’s reflection danced on its surface, glimmering. She was thankful for the hot weather, at least. The sunshine lightened everyone’s mood a little, and usually made her job a bit easier.

She considered it a small victory.

“Excuse me, miss?” a woman’s voice called out.

Snapping out of her daydream, Crystal swivelled round in search of the source of the voice. The poolside was fairly empty given the time of day (because let’s face it, if Crystal wasn’t working, she wouldn’t have been awake at 11am, either), so it didn’t take her long to see a girl, lying on one of the sun loungers, seemingly on her own and sticking out like a sore thumb from the older men in golfing gear.

She was young, Crystal thought, probably about the same age as herself or a little younger, and she donned a floppy sun hat and a pair of oversized cat-eye sunglasses, which left Crystal slightly unsure in what direction she was looking, or if she even had her eyes open at all. Her long, dark hair sat in waves down to her chest, and she just so happened to be wearing a very flattering and clearly very expensive bathing suit - a black halter neck bikini, with gold buckles - which left little to the imagination.

She looked like the dictionary definition of a rich girl, and Crystal would’ve rolled her eyes at how cliché she looked if she wasn’t so god damn hot.

“Um, hello?” the girl asked.

Crystal’s heart jolted. “Huh? Oh! Uh, how can I help you?” She jumped to attention, and was now suddenly very aware of her cheeks flushing red. How long had she been staring?

“Could I get another pink lemonade, please?” the girl said as if it was obvious, holding out her empty glass for Crystal to take.

“Oh, sure,” Crystal replied, making her way over to her sunlounger and feeling the heat rush to her face. When she grabbed the glass, Crystal could’ve swore she felt their hands touch for just a millisecond, and she would be lying if she said she didn’t feel a little flustered.

“Thanks,” the girl said, offering Crystal a small smile from behind her huge sunglasses.

A smile of pity, probably, Crystal thought.

She quickly placed the glass onto her cart and began rolling it away as fast as she deemed socially acceptable, speed-walking her way towards the bar. She bit the inside of her cheek and inwardly cursed herself for being so awkward. What was that? Who was that? And why the hell was she having heart palpitations?

She was practically out of breath by the time she reached the bar, which was located just inside a set of double doors, right by the pool. She set the glasses on the bar top, leaning on it in an attempt to steady herself and taking a few seconds to catch her breath. When she looked up, she was met by a smirking Jan, who had a single eyebrow raised.

“Care to tell me why you’re as red as a tomato?”

“Fuck you,” Crystal sighed, a smile breaking onto her face. “It’s warm outside, that’s all.”

Jan raised a single eyebrow. “Whatever you say,” she chirped, clearly not believing her. As much as Crystal wanted to elbow her in the ribs at that, she couldn’t help but smile. One of the few good things to come out of this job was her friendship with Jan and the other staff, which was new, but already felt strong. Jan was the human equivalent of a golden retriever- it was hard not to love her.

“Hey, I need a pink lemonade and a Budweiser beer for customers outside.”

“Another beer? This one’s not finished,” Jan said, gesturing to the pint glass Crystal had placed on the bar top before her.

Crystal rolled her eyes. “Apparently it’s the wrong brand.”

“Ugh. Another one of those guys. I hope he didn’t give you a hard time, sweetie,” she said, shaking her head with a sympathetic smile. “I’ll get the drinks for you now.”

“Thanks, Jan.”

As Jan busied herself with pulling another pint, Crystal could help but peer out through the door at the girl, still laid out on her sun lounger by the pool. She couldn’t deny she was gorgeous, but she wasn’t sure why her heart decided to try to escape her chest at the sight of her, especially seeing half of her face was hidden by those huge sunglasses and that floppy hat. It was probably that damn swimsuit, she thought.

Jan’s voice interrupted her train of thought. “I presume the pink lemonade’s for miss Goode? It’s her usual. I’ll put it on her tab.”

Crystal was quickly brought back to attention. “Who’s miss Goode?” she asked, trying not to seem too curious.

“Probably one of the richest teenagers in this hemisphere,” Jan scoffed.

Crystal gulped. “Oh, really?”

“Mmhm. Her dad’s a multimillionaire, he’s the CEO of some software company,” she said, not looking up from her task of refilling drinks. “He owns this whole country club. The Goode’s always spend their summer here.”

Crystal’s eyes widened. She knew that the girl would be rich, but she didn’t think she would be that rich. She was suddenly very intimidated, but she somehow wasn’t surprised. This ‘miss Goode’ looked like a million dollars, and apparently she was worth even more. One thing was for certain, though - any feelings she possibly could’ve had towards her had to be squashed, immediately.

“She’s not a bad kid, though,” Jan continued. “I kinda feel bad for her sometimes.”

“Why’s that?”

Before Jan could answer, their workmate Heidi swept through from the kitchen, carrying a stack of trays in one hand and a towel in the other, and took her place behind the bar with Jan. “Oh please, there’s nothing to feel bad for. She’s a bazillionaire, she’ll probably never work a day in her life!” she exclaimed, clearly having overheard their conversation. “If I was that rich, I’d be living it up in a mansion with all my rich friends and buying loads of cars and having parties every night. But, ya know. Poverty,” she said, laughing at her own joke immediately after.

Crystal found herself chuckling along and automatically agreeing with Heidi - she was sure that money like that would solve all of her problems. But she was reluctant to say so, and she wasn’t quite sure why.

“You’d better not keep her waiting, Crystal,” Jan prompted, handing over the fresh pint of beer and a tall glass of pink lemonade, which had a pink straw and crushed ice and a strawberry and slice of lemon on the rim. Crystal thought that it should have one of those mini cocktail umbrellas too, but she supposed that would’ve been a little overkill.

Gently balancing the drinks on her cart, she nodded in thanks to the girls, promising to meet them on their lunch break, and started wheeling it out the double doors, back towards the pool and the sun loungers.

Back towards miss Goode.

She wasn’t entirely sure that the colour of her face had settled by now, but she hoped that she wouldn’t be able to tell from behind her sunglasses. She told herself the nerves that were building in her chest were because of this girl’s social status, and definitely not because she was pretty. Definitely not. That didn’t even cross Crystal’s mind. She didn’t even need to tell herself that looking at a customer like that was a bad idea, and that miss Goode was probably straight, and that she’d never think twice about dating an employee. No, of course not. That would be stupid.

As she walked ever closer, Crystal was psyching herself up, telling herself to stop being an awkward mess and just be cool. Act natural. All she had to do was hand her the glass without making it too obvious that she was nervous. Easy. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. (And, avoid staring at her in that bathing suit, which was significantly less easy peasy lemon squeezy).

Before she knew it, she was a couple steps away from her. This was it. Just hand her the drink and get out of there. She could do this.

The girl turned to face Crystal when she saw her coming, offering her a smile. And then, she reached up and took off her sunglasses. And Crystal got a glimpse of her eyes for the first time. They were a piercing icy blue, and they twinkled in the sunshine, and Crystal didn’t want to take her eyes off of them.

Crystal fumbled on her cart and grabbed a glass, handing it to Gigi, not wanting to break eye contact for a second. She may have only been holding eye contact for a few seconds, but Crystal was captivated, swimming in her gaze.

And then, the girl looked downwards, and her face fell, and for just a second, Crystal’s heart dropped. Her brows furrowed. She looked confused.

And then Crystal realised she hadn’t handed the girl her pink lemonade, but the pint of beer.

Crap.

“Usually I get ID’d before someone serves me alcohol,” the girl said with a cocky smirk.

“Oh, uh, sorry!”

Crystal felt the heat rushing to her cheeks as she fumbled to fix her mistake, practically shoving the pink drink in her free hand as panic caught in her throat. She had one job. One simple job. She snatched the pint glass away from her with shaky hands.

And then, she dropped it.

“Shit!”

The glass miraculously didn’t smash, but its contents were spilt all over the poolside tiles.

This was all she needed.

Crystal sighed, just desolately staring at her reflection at the puddle of beer for a few seconds as an overwhelming feeling of for fuck’s sake overtook her. She groaned, flailing her arms like a toddler throwing a tantrum. She heard the girl beside her start to chuckle with that stupid cocky smirk still plastered on her face, perching on the edge of the sun lounger and looking up at Crystal.

“You know, someone should really clean that up,” she said, flashing Crystal a grin. “It’s a slipping hazard.”

Crystal rolled her eyes. “We’re by a pool, everywhere’s a slipping hazard,” she said, but she fumbled for the towel that she had tucked into her apron pocket anyways, kneeling down to wipe it up.

The girl giggled at that, leaning back against her chair with her crossed legs outstretched before her (which Crystal definitely didn’t find herself staring at). “You didn’t strike me as the type to talk back, but I’m pleasantly surprised,” she said, taking an obnoxiously loud slurp through her pink bendy straw.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Most of the staff here are no fun. I think they’re all afraid I’m gonna get them fired or something,” she said with a shrug. “You seem fun though.”

Crystal felt herself blush, but this time she wasn’t embarrassed. She was smiling. “Well, God didn’t give me this incredible personality to be quiet.”

The girl laughed, tucking a lock of her dark chocolate brown hair behind her ear. Crystal couldn’t help but take notice of the way she stuck her tongue out just a little as she giggled, and it made her smile, too. She giggled like a little girl, and it seemed like such a contrast to her effortless chic-ness. Crystal found it endearing. And very cute.

“I haven’t seen you around here before, have I?” the girl said. Her eyes scanned Crystal’s face, and Crystal tried to focus on wiping up the spilt drink because she was sure that if she caught another glance at the girl’s doll eyes looking directly at her, her brain would start shutting down.

“I don’t think so,” Crystal replied. “I only started here about a week ago.”

“I thought so,” the girl hummed, before taking another sip from her glass. “I think I would’ve remembered you.”

Crystal could’ve swallowed her own tongue at that. Instead she clenched her jaw and continued cleaning, keeping her lips firmly shut to make sure she didn’t say something stupid.

“So what’s your name then?”

“Crystal,”

“Nice to meet you, Crystal,” the girl said with a quick raise of her eyebrows.

“Nice to meet you too, uh-.”

“Gigi,” the girl said with a smile.

“Gigi,” Crystal replied, seeing how her name felt on her tongue, and recalling the name Jan had mentioned earlier. Gigi Goode. It felt right, she thought. It suited her. It definitely seemed like a rich girl name, and as far as rich girls came, this girl was supposedly in a league of her own. Though Crystal tried not to think about that - her massive sunglasses and her perfect model body were already intimidating enough.

Not that Crystal was thinking about her body or anything. Especially not about how good it looked in that pretty swimsuit.

Of course not.

Once she had the beer all mopped up, Crystal tossed the soaked towel over her shoulder, picking up the desolate pint glass from the ground and placing it on her beer cart, still in awe of how it didn’t smash on the outdoor tiles. She supposed the universe had felt bad for her - she’d had quite enough beer issues for today, and the last thing she needed was broken glass to deal with, too.

The knowledge that she’d have to go back for yet another beer for that lying bastard, though, made her want to throw the glass at a brick wall.

She felt frustration build up in her chest at the thought, and sighed. Perhaps a little too loudly, though, as Gigi seemed to pick up in it.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

“Ugh, I just have to go get this annoying guy another beer now,” Crystal replied with a roll of her eyes.

“How is he annoying?”

Crystal probably shouldn’t be saying this to the daughter of the country club owner, but fuck it, she needed to vent. “There’s a group of them, actually. They always yell at me and pretend I got their order wrong so they can get another free beer. I know it’s not that bad, but it just rubs me the wrong way.”

Crystal looked at Gigi, whose face had changed to one of shock and anger, her mouth hanging open slightly and her eyebrows furrowed. She stayed silent for a second, before standing up from her sun lounger, scanning the pool area. “Who was it?”

“That guy over there, in the blue polo shirt,” Crystal said, gesturing towards him.

Gigi nodded, her eyes narrowing. Crystal saw her clutch her glass tightly, her knuckles turning white. “Oh. Him,” she said, her voice stoic. “I know him. Well, I guess I won’t be needing the rest of my drink!” she said, and with that, she was off, quickly marching to the spot where the man stood.

Before Crystal had time to comprehend what was happening, Gigi was face to face with the man, and Crystal was frozen in her spot, her feet stuck to the ground a few meters away from them.

She heard Gigi’s voice yell something, and then she was throwing her pink lemonade in the man’s face.

He was drenched, and Crystal had to cover her mouth to suppress her laughter.

Crystal half expected the now dripping man to start yelling, screaming at Gigi like he had screamed at her. But instead he remained silent, not looking angry, but more at a loss for words, before he trudged off grumpily, presumably to get changed.

When her eyes darted away from the man, Gigi was nowhere to be seen. But even so, she still found herself grinning like a fool.

And, when her manager called her to clean up the spilt pink lemonade by the pool, she was more than happy to oblige.

[jawritter]

Happy Birthday, Dean...

**Warnings** Some language maybe? Angst. That’s pretty much it. This one is pretty light.

A/N: Just a little drabble that I threw together for Dean’s Birthday! Hope you enjoy it! All mistakes are mine! Please don’t copy my stuff!!

Word Count: 1504

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Read, kinda, mentions of Sam x Reader

If anyone wants to be added to my tag list let me know!!!

To say you and Dean didn't like each other was an understatement.

You'd been with the Winchesters for five years now. Ever since your uncle Bobby had passed away, and you didn't have anywhere to go. They had taken you in, and from that moment on you and Dean had become worst enemies. You where certain that if it were not for Sam, Dean would have kicked you to the curb a long time ago. You weren't a hunter, well not exactly, you preferred research. You'd been raised in the life, and for that reason, coupled with the fact that you where Bobby Singer's niece, every evil thing and it's mother.. creature... whatever... knew your name. So you, like the Winchesters and every other hunter/hunter family, had one giant target painted on your back. 

Lucky you.

You weren't a fighter. 

Not that you couldn't, you just didn't care to. The pain involved wasn't exactly your forte, and you didn't go out looking for a fight even though you did know how to defend yourself. You made yourself useful to the boys and other hunters by becoming a female version of Bobby. 

Well, without the overuse of alcohol, and the horrible taste in classic country music, not to mention a lot cleaner to say the least.

You answered phones for hunters. You did the research for more than just the Winchesters. Dean didn't really like that either, though you didn't know why. Even though you had contact via email, phone, text, and sometimes video chat you never talked to any of them in person, so you couldn't see or understand the danger. Every hunter out there knew you lived and worked with the Winchesters. So nothing in its right mind, living, dead, or the undead, dared to lay a finger on you.

You traveled with them all over the place. Staying in abandoned houses, shitty hotel rooms, and whatever else you could find. Sometimes it was just the back of the Impala. That was until they found out about being legacies, and The Bunker. Things did seem to improve after that. You all had a little more space. Definitely more personal space. That helped in and of its self. Dean though, for some reason, still seemed to hate you no matter where you were staying. You couldn't remember ever doing anything to the handsome hunter. You weren't stupid, or suicidal. You never challenged him in any way. You just didn’t get it.

After you moved into The Bunker you did classes online, and even snuck around and took some clinical work it took to get your RN. Until Dean caught you anyway and flipped his lid, screaming at you that something or someone could have found you working at that hospital late at night while you did your Clinicals, and killed you. You thought you would be helping becoming an RN, something you always wanted to do, but he insisted you where needed behind a book or a computer screen. That they had Cass to handle the healing, and they didn't need you, or your input concerning the matter of their physical health.

That was the last time you spoke directly to the elder Winchester. That night you cried yourself to sleep, and when you got up, you swore you'd never let him, or any other man, do that to you again. So you buried yourself in research and work, only speaking to Dean when it was required.

Sam, on the other hand, he was your best friend. Always had been since the moment you meet him. He seemed to get you, the two of you just click. Like two little nerds, happy to do whatever it was that you were doing together. You never got into a fight. You watched movies together. You did everything together.

When he met Eileen the two of you clicked right away as well. You knew Dean couldn't figure that out because he was always swearing that you and Sam were sleeping together even though you didn't see each other that way.

Tonight was not much different from any other night, the boys were out on another case, hunting a Wendigo from what you could guess, that’s what it looked like in the evidence pile that Sam had emailed you. They were close to wrapping it up last time Sam had texted you, but you didn't expect them back till sometime early that next morning. So that meant another night alone in The Bunker. Which honestly you were used to by now, and it sort of was the safest place in the word when you took all the warding and things like that into consideration.

You wondered your way back to your room down the hallway, a cup of coffee in hand, and the intent to watch Netflix until you finally got tired enough to fall asleep.

Settling down with your laptop you typing in your password. Your time and date popped up on your screen saver. Jan. 23, 2020. 11:34 p.m.

The date stopped you for a moment. It was Dean's birthday in less than 30 minutes time. He'd made it to 41 years old... That was something in the life you lived. Most men didn't live until they were 35, much less over 40. Bobby and Rufus were almost the only exception to the rule you'd ever meet in person. Here he was though, if he survived the next 30 minutes he would officially be 41 years old...

Sitting there in the darkness, the only light that was going was the laptop, and the dim old bedside lamp, you caught yourself thinking. That was something you didn't like to do.

Think.

It caused way too many emotions and things that you didn't want to feel. Like the fine line between love and hate you knowingly walked with Dean. Yes, you were technically enemies, and yes, you couldn't stand each other most of the time, but sitting here in the dark, thinking the words that just rolled across your mind, "If he survived the next 30 minutes,” made your heart feel like it weighed 200lbs in your chest.

The thought of Sam having to call you, and tell you that Dean was gone was almost unbearable. A single tear rolled down your face before you could even bother to wipe it away. Shit... Maybe you didn't hate Dean after all...

Was it really possible that you actually loved Dean... That you were terrified of his rejection, so you chose rather too act as his enemy because it was easier?

It crossed your mind that this hunting life was finally starting to get to you, but you shoved that aside for later. Right now the most important thing you had to face was the fact that like it or not, you were in love with Dean; and it took you imagining his death to really see it. You had it shoved so far down you believed your own lie.

Picking up the phone before you could stop yourself, you dialed Dean's phone number. It was now midnight. If he made it through this hunt, and Chuck wasn't being a total Jackass, then he'd made it to 41, but you realized something.

Being a hunter meant that there was a strong possibility that you didn't have the next five minutes, and you had worked yourself up so much that you had to hear his voice just once to settle your pounding heart and know that he was okay.

It rang and rang. The more the phone rang, the more afraid you got that you were right. That your fear was right. He hadn't survived the hunt.

Then just when you were about to give up hope and have a whole nervous breakdown, you heard the voice that made your heart standstill in your chest for at least three beats.

"Hello...."

He sounded uncertain, which you guess was normal, you had never called him before... Ever...

Normally you just made contact through Sam. You preferred to act like Dean didn't exist to you, so you ignored him.

"Y/N? Hello? Is everything okay?"  

His voice more desperate now, which made you feel even worse for the way you'd been treating him. He was worried because you never called him, now he thinks something is wrong.

"H...Hey Dean," you stuttered, knowing if you didn't say something if he survived the speeding trip here he'd kill you when he saw you where unharmed.

"Is everything okay Y/N?" he asked, a little calmer now that you answered him.

"Yeah, uh, I just uh, I just was worried about you guys. I haven't heard anything since Sam's text." 

Here you were lying to him again, mentally slapping yourself. Why did you keep doing this?

"Oh... Uh... Everything went fine, we're about an hour from home now. Y/N, you do know this my phone not Sam's, right?" he asked. 

You couldn't understand his tone, it was, strange, soft, hopeful?

"Oh... I'm sorry Dean... Guess I got the wrong Winchester," you mumble, trying to keep your voice even. 

You hang up the phone before he could question your odd behavior anymore. Looking at the disconnected call you whisper what you called him for in the first place. What you didn't have the guts to say.

"Happy Birthday, Dean...."

_________________________________________

Pt. 2 here!!!

30 Minutes til Midnight

[marvinswriting]

Northshore's couples, written by anonymous, about anonymous.

a crack idea bear and I had that I took seriously

g/t mean girls

November, 12th

Ifykyk.

Hey, Northshore! Welcome to a new section of the school newspaper. I've been fighting for a gossip blog for a hot minute now, and since the paper is dying down, Northshore is finally allowing it. 

But this isn't just any gossip blog.

This is the place where I'm gonna -try- to answer your most burning questions about Northshore couples in question.

All through anonymity and observation.

To start, let's meet the students. All names have been changed so identities can stay hidden. In the tinies we've got: J, A, and R. Then in the giants there is: D, C, G, K, and S.

Who's with who? Who hates who? Who's got some secrets under the surface? Come back next week.

"Full offense to Northshore, this sounds stupid as fuck." Janis huffed, tossing down the newspaper, letting it fall to the table. 

Karen looked at the small girl of Damian's shoulder.

"Why do you think?"

"Gossip blogs are unoriginal and boring. The school newspaper is grasping at straws."

"They can be fun when done right." Regina points out. "I say we check in next week and find out more about the students it's about."

"Whats-" Cady frowned. "What's a gossip blog?"

"Aww, baby's first gossip blog! We have to keep up with this one. Just for Cady." Damian said.

Karen watched with amusement as her friends discussed gossip blogs and if they were any good.

This will be fun. 

November 19th

Love the feedback from last week guys! You're all as hyped as I am. And no. I won't confirm who your suspicions are. Stop slipping notes under the computer lab door.

This week J and D were seen together. (It's not uncommon.) 

A was seen kissing C when they thought nobody was looking. But don't be fooled, somebody is always looking.

Not to be creepy or anything.

Just- we saw that, A. 

You won't spot R without K or G anywhere near them, don't know if any of them are dating though.

Development into J and D's relationship as D is seen defending J from S. Sources couldn't hear what they were saying but it sounded pretty hostile. Is it just caring friends or something a little more? 

This blog is focused around uncovering Northshore's couples once and for all. Have any tips? There's been a box placed by the computer lab door. Got any other people you want to see covered? Let me know!

Until next week, the anon who writes about anons. Xx!

"So," Cady looked down at her newspaper. "A gossip blog, is just talking about people?"

"Hence, the gossip part." Janis folder her own tiny newspaper, tossing it onto the cafeteria table from Damian's pocket. "And it's stupid."

"I wonder who it's about?" Gretchen said. "I know everything about everybody. But all this info? This is news to me."

"It's obviously about-" Karen paused. Was she the only one to figure it out?

Wasn't she the dumb one?

"Never mind. I dunno who it's about either."

"I don't understand why you care so much." Janis huffed.

"Because its fun to be nosey about lives that aren't ours. Duh." Regina said.

November, 26th

Happy Friday, Northshore!

Wow, lots of you sent in info about J and D. Whether you've cracked the code on who they are or maybe you're just observant of two fellow students- there is no denying they're pretty affectionate.

Since we're on the topic, let's start with J and D.

Kisses. Lots of them.

Romantic, or just friends? The duo themselves give pretty mixed answers so we must take matters into our own hands and draw our own conclusions. J was seen skipping class on multiple occasions and hiding with D. I hope J has a good tutor. I could never miss that much info.

R and G are seen together. K seems like they're third-wheeling. Somebody get them out of there. K, if you need a sos, slip a note in the box bby. We've got you.

If you want to talk about PDA, look no further than A and C. Wow! A hello kiss, a kiss kiss, a GOODBYE KISS? They may not say it themselves but those two are definitely a fairytale couple.

No updates to S. #singleforlife.

Sorry, S. If you're reading this.

"Well, A and C just sound gross." Janis frowns.

"Don't be negative, Jan." Damian shakes his head at the girl on the table. "They sound cute."

"Overly cute." Cady says.

"I'm glad somebody agrees." Janis huffed.

"Poor K. Thridwheeling a couple is awful." Gretchen sympathizes.

"We don't know if R and G are dating." Aaron points out. "We don't know if any of these people are dating. I'm kinda hooked."

"Well, third-wheeling best friends is even worse." Cady sighs, glancing at Damian and Janis. 

Karen looked at the newspaper in her hands with a soft smile. She had a note to drop off.

December 3rd

Happppppy Friday! I have a big announcement right off the bat!

It is I, the writer, formally known as Anon. But now there's two of us! Me, the writer, and another student- the spy. Between the two of us (and your help from the box!) we're gonna crack these relationships open in no time!

This week's rundown!

R was with G the whole week. There was not one time they were separated. 

A, J, and R were seen in the tiny halls together where  A was overheard talking fondly about C.

Is there a fight for J?

D and S seem to never want to leave J alone.

Although, if you asked the writer, I'm totally team JD. Message for S? This isn't middle school anymore. Being mean to somebody isn't a good way to show your emotions. Message for D? You're doing fabulous, I'm rooting for you. Message for J? Pick fucking wisely. 

I'm a bit biased but my info is not. 

Don't you worry.

Until next week, you know where the box is! Xx.

"Aw, J and D sound like a cute couple." Regina cooes.

"A and C don't." Janis shook her head. "To sappy."

"Is Jan warming up to the gossip blog? And forming opinions?" Damian teased.

Karen shook her head in disbelief. The fact that her friends were yet to catch on-

-they were dense. Not idiots, just dense.

"S sounds like an asshole." Gretchen shook her head. "Bet its a boy. Yknow when a boy would pull your hair in elementary school and you'd get told, oh boys will be boys. He just likes you! Yeah. S is a dude for sure."

"Not every boy was like that. I wasn't." Damian said.

"You're gay." Janis rolled her eyes. 

December 10th

Heyo Northshore! It's the writer. Might I say, you look wonderful today? 

I don't see you but I'm sure you're just stunning.

A must be p r e t t y stupid because they were seen all this week studying with C. A kiss for every problem right? Hey, it's not a bad deal.

R was seen primarily with K this week, throwing off all previous theories.

Must have been a rough week for J. I'd imagine you've got to be stressed as hell to just break down randomly but guess what- they did. Lack of sleep? Hunger? S? Who knows what the culprit was.

But don't you worry, D was quick to whisk them off to someplace quiet.

Love to see it, I want a significant other like that.

The day they confirm their relationship is the day I expect a wedding invite.

See you next week! Xx.

"Wow! Looks like Jan isn't the only one in Northshore who needs to learn when to take a break before the break takes them." Damian deadpanned, lowing his newspaper.

Karen blinked. Are you kidding me?

"I was just tired." Janis huffed. "I needed a nap."

"I dunno man. A and C sound cheesy as fuck." Gretchen shook her head.

"They do. Now J and D though? That couple goals." Janis said.

Karen's hand shot to her mouth as she covered a laugh with a forced cough. "Couple? You think they're together?"

"For sure. They sound made to be!"

Oh dear.

December 17th

Winter break next week! Who's excited? We get full two weeks off this year and I'm so ready for a break.

I'll miss our resident couples in question though.

Not to throw everyone off but-

J spent the week with G. R spent the week with C. And A was with D?

Now granted by the time you're reading this print, this is two-week-old information- but why?

Did you get bored and just s w a p?

Anyway, I guess S wanted into the mix too? Because they took advantage of no D to try and get to J. It didn't work. G was there to protect our favorite JD ship. I'm not saying they're a cockblocker bc I don't wanna imply anything, but S is d e f i n it l y trying to get something out of J. Motive unclear but hey, we can assume :/

Gross.

Anyway, there were multiple fights that broke out that day so idk what yall were on but jesus christ calm down. Not relationship-related but be fucking nice to tineis.

Ugh.

K had no part in this swap of s/o but hey, they weren't third-wheeling anymore. 

Xx!

"Be fucking nice to tinies!" Regina cheers.

"J and G?" Janis frowned at the tiny newspaper in her hands. "Sorry, only know about J and D."

"Janis went from, ew gossip, to I'd die to have JD confirmed, real fast." Aaron pointed out.

"As she should." Gretchen pointed out. "They sound cute as fuck.

"Hands down they're lesbians." Regina said.

Karen shook her head, totally dumbfounded.

January, 7th

Did you miss me! I missed you. Mwah.

Right off the bat-

Uh. The box has been filled with messages from S saying, they do not like J. 

So I guess they're just an asshole.

Hey, just means team JD is gonna win.

Speaking of-

When J was asked directly they said that, I quote "D is the love of my life." But when asking D, I was told: "[J is] just a good friend". Sort your story idiots. The school wants to know!

While S may be out of the running, many sources say JC is a rising ship? Between A and C and J and C, I can't help but wonder, is there a behind the scenes JCA?

Fellow tiny students report A and J not being very close in the tiny hallways though. Now J and R tho-

J is just one lucky mate.

Who's your favorite? Let me know in the box! Xx.

"J and D." Janis says from her perch on Damian's shoulder. 

Karen just looked at her phone.

"You think there's a threesome going on in school?" Gretchen asked.

"Unlikely. I don't even this A and C sound cute. Why add another." Aaron rolled his eyes.

You don't think-

Karen sighed.

She really should tell them but- it was so much funnier this was.

Janis stood up on Damian's shoulder, pressing a quick kiss to his jaw without motive. 

Karen turned back to her phone, unsurprised if that would pop up in next week's article. 

January 14th

I love you- signed the writer.

Glad we got that out of the way.

NOW.

This was quite the week for our "couples".

First off, D and J? PDA through the roof.

Idk, maybe it's a special week, or maybe we're paying more attention and they've always been like that.

Those tiny kisses aren't lost on me, J. I see all.

Ugh, so cute.

A and C are-

"Skip this passage," Janis whined. "Nobody cares about them."

Everyone around the lunch table nodded as Karen began to read out loud again.

G kissed R?! R might have given a scowl but bystanders didn't miss the blush. Platonic or something more? That's the big question of this article but hey- this is a big step for all you GR shippers. Sorry to whoever wrote that long letter in the box passionately explaining how JR was peak friends to enemies to lovers. 

Shame.

#JD, anyway, you know where the box is! Xx.

"Fuck A and C. All my homies hate A and C." Janis grinned.

Cady nodded. "They're too cliche. It's annoying and I don't even know who they are."

Karen placed her head on the table with a groan.

She may not be smart, but these people were flat out idiots.

She felt a tug on her hair and looked up, resting her chin on the table.

"You okay, Karen?" Janis stood in front of her, Newspaper held at her side.

"Yeah, just dying on the inside a bit. Yknow, leaf emoji."

Janis made a face. "I don't but uh-" She leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to Karen's nose. "Don't leaf emoji. We like you here, alive on the inside."

Karen smiles. "Thanks, Janis." 

January 21st

Just when you think it's all figured out- J kisses K. 

In front of D.

At this point- they're all together. One big happy family. 

I'm still clinging onto my JD dream. 

Speaking off-

S is back. Did you miss them? Me neither.

They just grabbed J like nothing? Anyway, D was there to save the day obviously.

Our great big hero got a pretty precious nose kiss from J.  

I could make their own newspaper section about how cute they are. There is no way you can be that cute and n o t already engaged.

On another J note, if JD doesn't happen, I'd be pretty content with some CJ. C was seen giving J "a nice-sized smooch" (somebody from the box).

No development in the R and G category, just their usual cuteness.

Leave any tips in the box! You know where it is. Xx.

"Uh uh. JD over CJ." Janis shook her head.

Karen just placed the newspaper in her bag. Janis and Damian were quick to become J and D's biggest shippers. They were so good at confusing the school about their relationship status that they had themselves fooled.

Cady and Aaron, who were dating and just won't confirm it, hated C and A's relationship. Calling it cheesy and artificially sweet.

And Regina though R sounded like a bitch and G deserved somebody better.

The whole thing was just crazy. 

"I gotta go talk to a teacher this period. It was fun reading the paper together though." Karen said getting up.

There was a chorus of 'bye Karen's as she walked away.

The newspaper holder in the hallways was empty. Northshore's 'couples' was quick to catch on and save the newspaper program. 

Karen pushed the door open to the computer lab, making her way over to the tiny end.

"Hey, Glen."

Glen Coco looked up at her with a grin. "Got anything for me, spy?"

@realmisspolarbear @smallsoysauce @musicallygt

[arcadianambivalence]

World on Fire, Episode 4, or How We React to “Normal” in a Crisis

Spring 1940

Months have passed since the last episode, and characters have had time to steady their nerves.  Kasia’s previous reservations about killing Germans is largely gone, Lois has decided to have the baby and not involve Harry in her life, Webster and Albert have resolved to stay together, and Nancy has repeatedly tried to sneak her discoveries into her broadcasts (or to smuggle her research out of Germany) despite blackmail.  

Other characters have started to lose their determination.  Claudia and Uwe’s marriage is falling apart over their differing ideas about how to protect Hilde, Harry is struggling with his responsibilities in combat, and Grzegorz is grappling with his empathy and endurance.

(More under the cut)

The Winter of 1939 – 1940 has ended, and with it, the illusion of peace for Western Europe.  Stationed in Belgium, Harry’s group retreats closer and closer to the French border as the German army arrives with far more resources.  

Meanwhile, the American hospital in Paris receives wounded soldiers from the front.  Refugees fleeing the war need attention too, like a Jewish emigree couple attacked by Anti-Semites, much like Albert was attacked by fascists in the first episode.  Henriette, a nurse and Webster’s friend, confides in him that she is Jewish and had hidden that fact when she applied for work at the hospital.  

Albert and Webster count their days left together.  Webster is happy just to be with him, but Alfred is afraid of being seen.  They’ve been together for half a year, and the closest Alfred can get to public displays of affection is a brief kiss after a furtive look around.  The reasons for this become all too clear when they return to his apartment to find a swastika on the door and a severed pig’s head on the doorstep.  

“I’ll never be safe anywhere in this world,” he tells Webster.  “People have got plenty choice of what they might hate me for.”

(I would like to take a moment and appreciate this show for pointing out the fascist movements and rising acts of intolerance all over Europe in the late 1930s and 1940.  This is especially visible in the Paris subplot, drawing attention to the wide swath of cultures in the city without entirely romanticizing it as a place of absolute refuge from prejudice.  It makes me think the show is laying the foundation for exploring Occupied France and Vichy France next season...)

The German gains in the invasion bring new worry to the Rosslers.  “The better the war goes, the worse for Hilde,” Claudia says.  Uwe is not happy that Nancy and Claudia continue to meet.  Claudia discovers Uwe has registered as a Nazi to cover the family after his conversation with the workers last episode.  She is horrified, and the two have a big argument with Nancy uncomfortably caught in the middle.  “The Nazis are going to win,” Uwe says.  They must appear to be on their side.

Claudia refuses to take the same course of action.  She brings Hilde to Nancy to say goodbye, perhaps permanently.  Mother and daughter will be staying in a little cabin far away from the city and its watchful denouncers.  

Uwe will not be joining them.

Nancy gifts Claudia a bottle of spirits and Hilde American candy, then asks them to listen to her radio show and toast to a better future.

The way Nancy makes sure to place her hand firmly over Claudia’s hurts.

Douglas has concern for his own children’s safety.  Tom returns home on leave and confesses that he is thinking about deserting and becoming an official conscientious objector.  His father has reservations.  Tom could be executed for desertion, and then there are the political ramifications of a pacifist letting his own son into the movement.  Hurt and betrayed, Tom leaves home as if he does not plan on returning.

Things fare little better between Douglas and Lois.  Although Lois adamantly states that she does not want Harry or his mother involved in her life anymore, Douglas tells Robina that Lois is pregnant in the hopes that Robina’s sense of social (and financial) duty to her grandson will override any qualms about class. 

(The cautious back-and-forth between Douglas and Robina is great, as always, and if Harry and Lois don’t get back together, can their parents have something?)

In the middle of these life-changing historical events, characters continue to talk about relationships and their social lives.  Lois can’t bring herself to sing one night because she’s heartsick over the realization that her feelings for Harry was a love for a person that never truly existed.  Robina and Douglas still have small talk while the latter spoons cubes of sugar into his tea.  Stan teases Harry for his two girls back home.  Thomasz and Kasia’s interactions are sweet when they get to act like two young adults who aren’t in an occupied country with their lives at risk every minute...then they casually discuss killing a soldier like it’s a fact of life.  

Moments like this feel like a kick in the teeth.  

On one hand, you could argue that the characters are too blasé about the killings and the risks involved.  At one point, Thomasz arrives late to a rendezvous and gives “There was a round-up” as his explanation, almost as if it’s a regular occurrence.  On the other hand, wouldn’t it have been?  Poland had been occupied for half a year by this point, and maybe Robina was right last episode (to a degree), you do get used to it...or at least, you continue to live alongside it.

All characters undergo a great change in this series, but it’s still startling to see how they react to their circumstances, especially when their reactions are so different from who they were before or how we expected them to be.  

Kasia, Harry, and Grzegorz are all placed in perilous situations that ultimately lead to the decision of whether or not to take someone’s life.  

Kasia lures an SS officer to a secluded part of town with the expectation that Thomasz will kill him, but when Thomasz has not arrived and the officer starts to go too far, Kasia draws a gun from her purse and kills him.  In retaliation for the death of an officer, a new raid is carried out, leading Kasia to come face-to-face with the family of an innocent woman executed for what she did.  

The moral quandary in her storyline returns: if killing the enemy results in the death of innocents, do you kill the enemy?

When Harry kills the German sniper, he does it to save his own life, but he also does it to save the lives of the men in his troop.  It is one of the few sequences in this show that has the kind of heroics expected of war depictions.  But what could in other hands be cathartic violence against non-character antagonists in battle is undercut by Harry’s emotional reaction after the skirmish and the way he freezes at the beginning of the conflict.  

He’s not calm-under-fire war hero of fiction, but he’s not exactly a romantic hero, either.  Yes, he is the romantic lead of the show, but unlike last episode, he spends his few moments of quiet dealing with his deep-seated familial issues brought out by his powerlessness.

On the run from a death squad, Grzegorz holds a German soldier at gunpoint. The soldier, barely an adult and crying in fear, lowers his jammed weapon.  But instead of killing the soldier like Kasia and Harry do, Grzegorz offers his hand.  Despite all of the atrocities he has witnessed in the past year: his father’s death, people burned alive in Danzig, narrowly escaping execution, the massacre on the farm, the starvation and sleeping in the woods...and there is still a kind little boy thrown into something much bigger and meaner than he is underneath the exhaustion and self-preservation.  

It’s Konrad who kills the soldier, to Grzegorz’s horror.

“I killed one German, just like a German killed your dad.” “Not that German.”

The landscape of the woods around them changes.  Snow dusted ground gives way to moss and mud.  A spring fog cloaks their journey.  And just as the natural landscape subtly changes, so does their luck.

The two stumble across a troop of British soldiers (wait, where are they?) and quickly join the men.  Their relief is short-lived, though, and they are soon back in combat.  Konrad is shot through the head.  

In order to air with a certain rating, World on Fire has to clean up some of the images of violence.  You don’t see blood spurt out of people when they’re shot.  The scenes of death are not drawn out. 

But the image of Konrad, dead before he hits the ground, blood covering face, with a stunned Grzegorz kneeling over him shocked me.

When Grzegorz grieves, the loss of his family comes out, too, for his father Stefan and father figure Konrad.

In Grzegorz’s final scene, he stumbles through a forest, the British soldiers long gone.  Spring is here and beautiful, the snow has melted away, the birds are chirping, and green has returned to the Earth.  Grzegorz seems unaware of the world around him, only the journey ahead in the middle of anywhere and nowhere.

Spoiler

The next episode’s promo places him on a beach.  Is he transported out of Poland by a ship on the Baltic sea?  Or are we supposed to believe Grzegorz and Konrad have spent all winter and spring walking through Poland, Denmark, Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium, and finally into France?

Notes

Konrad calls Grzegorz son...

After a disastrous cup of tea with Douglas, Robina makes sure to pay for the both of their orders before leaving

Tom brings the canary home, a visual connector between Jan and his bird in the pilot and Tom now

When Kasia breaks the news to the Polish family of the executed woman, Thomasz notices a German officer kissing a Polish woman next door, which indicates that not all Poles consider Germans the same way they do (and raises the threat of someone recognizing them later)

Robina casually mentions the newly-appointed Churchill to see Douglas’s reaction

[eurosong]

Undo my ESC

Good evening, folks! If you saw my first instalment of “Undo my ESC”, the annual feature where I make a year’s Eurovision better for me by making alterations in each country, you might have thought that ESC getting cancelled had dulled my edge, since, comparing to usual standards, I hardly changed much at all there. Well, that’s because, once again, we have seriously uneven semis, and Semi #1 would have been killer, whilst Semi #2 would have been dead. Here is what Í would have done to even those semis up! 🇦🇱 Albania: The Albanian delegation had seemingly done all it could to wash its hands of, well, two years of comparatively excellent results with authentic, melancholically poëtic and qualitative tracks, namely Malland Ktheju tokës. They brought in Byuckman, in whose interest it is for the contest to become as generically “radio-friendly” as possible, and the genius who brought us lyrics like “this is love/rain falls from above”. As judges. Of a serious musical festival. The foreign jurors did as expected, and voted for the appointed “bop”, but were foiled, however, by one of the minority Albanian jurors on the panel who put it  low in her ranks. An actual renowned music professor who got called all the names under the sun for doing so. And so, to an ensuing shitstorm, the classical and powerful Shaj prevailed instead. Unfortunately, the battle was won but the war was lost, because the representative herself took the lessons of 2018-9, threw them down the aeroplane toilet on the way to LA, and ripped the spirit out of the song, reverting back to the previous Albanian trend of terrible “revamps” and laboured translations into English. The result, Fall from the sky, is but a husk of the original. In my ESC, I’d probably simply keeping the original version of Shaj, which was my uncontested #1 of all songs, but part of me would opt for Ajër, which I love almost as well but which doesn’t carry the baggage of hanging over my head like the sword of Democles this entire season. 🇦🇲 Armenia: I’ve more often than not loved the entries of Hayastan, from the joyous Jan Jan to the soaring Fly with me and defiant Walking out. To say they took a step back this year is kind – it was more like a powerful jump backwards that landed them in the nearest ocean, where they sank like a stone. It was one of the most singularly unpalatable NFs that I have ever watched in this era. Rather than retraumatise myself by going into detail about it, I’ll just say, I would have sent Srbuk or Artsvik again to get the top 10 that I feel both warranted!

🇦🇹 Austria: What a journey for Österreich. From Conchita to this guy, a perky homophobe who explicitly said he wished his kids would not turn out to be gay. He comes up with a third-rate impersonator of a third-rate Benjamin Ingrosso impersonator’s third-rate impersonation of a Timberlake b-side. I would throw that in the bin and invite Pænda back from last year for a shot at redemption after her gorgeous Limits got slept on in 2019.

🇧🇬 Bulgaria: Some people had the neck to say to me “who needs Hungary when Bulgaria is coming back?” Well, I do. Hungary were constantly in the top of my rankings, and just quietly and consistently brought quality. Bulgaria has brought me one good thing – Poli Genova’s œuvre – and a tonne of hype. Their song this year was one of the favourites, and I still can’t wrap my head around how other than the force of PR. It’s a bizarre, unsettling combination of passive-aggressive “look how much you’re making me hurt myself” lyrics with Disneyish saccharine accompaniment, topped off with a key change?! For want yet again of a national final, I would bring Poli back – third time even luckier? 🇨🇿 Czechia: The Bohemians (and Moravians) keep it contemporary but superficial for a third year running, although, thankfully, for the first time since they began doing national finals, we finally have a song without a dubious attitude towards women in the lyrics. Not that there is much to analyse in those lyrics. It’s a merely ok song for me, no better, no worse: a superior alternative would have been Barbara Mochowa’s lush and contemplative second effort, White and black holes, or the glorious 90s British indie-influenced All the blood. 🇩🇰 Denmark: Did Denmark confound international monitors into calling it the world’s happiest country by exposing them to the relentlessly cheery songs that they pick for Eurovision lately? And yet – I really do say yes to Yes, To a certain extent, to a limited amount of exposure, and despite the fact that it leans a little too hard into the territory of sounding like a second Little talks. It was one of the few good songs from DMGP – I also liked the 80s shoegaze-ish Den eneste goth– and I feel so mad at DR that they won’t give Ben and Tan a guaranteed second shot to represent their country after they won in front of an empty crowd. 🇪🇪 Estonia: The days of Eesti being Beesti seem like from a distant memory to me, but there was some quality and quirkiness in Eesti Laul, buried under mountains of beigedom, like the rich-voiced Egert Miller’s soulful Georgia, the jazzy Write about me, or the feisty earworm that was Ping pong. Instead, we got a dreary dirge with sub-Hallmark lines about wot luv is, which would have sounded dated in a contest 30 years ago, sung by a repugnant guy who tried to get people to vote for him last year by leaning on the idea that he was the “only true Estonian.” I’d have Egert get his rightful place as Jüri Pootsmann’s spiritual successor. 🇫🇮 Finland: I was one of the few to be jubilant when a bizarre ode to an Italian porn star with a backing track sounding like a violated version of Eläköön elämä came second in the polls to its spiritual opposite: a shy and rather awkward guy singing a quietly moving song about the passing of time. I love Looking back and wouldn’t change a thing. 🇬🇪 Georgia: You never know what to expect from Georgia, except the unexpected, and yet even I was surprised by what they came up with: a close-shaven guy with veins popping in his head screaming “why don’t you love meeeee?” to a rocky, electronic backdrop. Me being me, I actually do like it a lot. “Take me as I am” sounds like a veiled potshot at the big 5 and a vindication of Georgia’s “keep it weird, send what we want” philosophy. I could suggest that the lyrics, that sound like those of a spurned angsty teen, change a bit, but that would be defeating the purpose of Georgia: one takes them as they are. 🇬🇪 Greece: So, somehow, despite S!STERS coming dead last with 0 pts in the televote last year, using exclamation marks to substitute the letter I is now a thing in Eurovision with the advent of Superg!rl. I spent an hour watching folk waffle on in Greek in its reveal show only for them to reveal the song literally at the very end, so after that, it was a little underwhelming, and nowhere near as good as Better love in 2019. I don’t hate it – and the music video’s concept of her being an amazing superhero who can change the world, but instead she’s stopping people slipping over bananas and rescuing cats from trees is weirdly endearing, so it can stay, but I’d improve the lyrics, particularly in the chorus. “I’m a supergirl, supergirl, in a crazy world, crazy world” is not much higher than “this is love, rain falls from above” in historically bad Greek lyrics at ESC. 🇮🇸 Iceland: Daði Freyr came back from near-victory with the delightful Is this love, added a lovely inspiration in his newborn daughter to a similarly funky and playful track, and came out with Think about things. Unlike what usually happens with songs that are a little bit odd, I was positively surprised to see it walk the NF, and become a phenomenon even outside the ESC fandom. This was perfect and joyous from beginning to end. I hope Iceland will not be like the other Nordics, and will invite Daði directly back .🇱🇻 Latvia: I have come to enjoy the bizarre chaötic energy of Still breathing, It’s a hot mess, but I take weird over dull any day. It wasn’t my favourite in Supernova – that would be the effortlessly cool Polyester, an earworm with a social conscience, written about the cost of fast fashion but dismissed by many people as “she luvs t-shirts song lol”. Given that Samanta Tina tried over half a dozen times to go to ESC, finally won and then had the chance ripped out of her hands by the cancellation, I don’t have the heart to remove her from my ideal ESC 2020 though. She stays, but maybe the staging changes? It’s odd to have what you believe is a feminist anthem but then relegate your backing singers to in the distance, their faces shielded away. 🇲🇩 Moldova: Life is too short to follow Moldovan national finals, especially when you know, lately, that whoever is backed by the hilariously inaptly named Dream team will win there. They are like a parasite, sucking out the colour and fun out of a country that once had plenty of both – cross-reference Hora din Moldova or Lăutar to name just two examples. I guess out of an uninspiring lineüp, I’d go for Moldoviţa for having at least a hint of the brassy folk that used to be their calling card. 🇵🇱 Poland: Speaking of calling cards, after a one year hiatus with an arresting combo of white voice and rocky instrumentation, Poland has returned to what it has most often done in recent years – presented us with an absolute dirge, Empires, which seems like it was written by an unenthusiastic English student whose homework assignment (for which they received a generous C-) was to write a poëm with a bunch of metaphors “we’re moths to a flame, birds to a pane of glass, gasoline and a match”. Despite having a big music industry from which to choose many gems, Poland offers me little alternative choice given that there were only three songs in their grand final – one by the Czech representative last year who, as you might guess from what I said literally a sentence up, isn’t even Polish!Horny Elf, who’s contractually obliged to write only creepy lyrics for songs, tried to represent Polska with a song inspired by a true-life situation where he went around Tel Aviv with a cardboard cutout of one of the hostesses of the show. It’s a love song inspired by gallivanting around with a piece of cardboard. Addressed to that actual hostess. And it’s an almighty earworm that hasn’t escaped my mind since. Amazingly, his Lucy would be my Polish representative. 🇵🇹 Portugal: Portugal is another country beloved by me by for dancing to the beat of its own drummer, or perhaps, rather shedding tears to the strumming of its own fado guitar. They struggled being different, they won being different, and for the last few years they’ve struggled again, despite having a lot of support for both O jardim and Telemóveis amongst fans. This year, the televote went for one interesting song, the charmingly Gallic, accordion-drenched Passe-partout, a song about a cultured girl shaking off her boorish ex who could “never even get into Piaf”, whilst the jury got behind another interesting song, Gerbera, an entrancing, arresting and poëtic song laden with metaphor about the idea of music competing itself. This let Medo de sentir,second in both polls, turn silver into gold. It’s a lovely, heart-felt track, but rather unexceptional - I would have had one of the other more singular songs win. 🇸🇲 San Marino: The weird boil on the face of ESC that somehow never pops, SM is back after its bewildering qualification with a tone-deaf dentist wailing to a microwaved disco song… with something actually palatable, sort of. The aptly named Freaky is dated, odd, overly busy, but Senhit has a lot of charisma, and the idea of “break[ing] all the rules, mak[ing] up some new [ones] and destroy[ing] all of them too” and “life goes by too quickly not to be freaking it up”, well, maybe we do get on board. 🇷🇸 Serbia: Serbia is usually a byword for quality at the contest – they won with one of the best 21st century winners hands down in Molitva, and also sent some of the most beautiful compositions in the contest’s history at the hands of Željko. This year, they decided to join in the leitmotif of reliable countries sucking by sending a group that sound like a third-rate mid-2000s girl band from Transnistria when beautiful songs like Cvet sa Prokletija were right there. 🇨🇭 Switzerland: Fair play to the Swiss for not doing a Cyprus and leaning in on their success with their male Fuego, She gat me, and instead going in a completely different direction with this moody effort. I’m not entirely convinced by the teenage emo-ish lyrics or the unnecessary falsetto, but Répondez-moi is a refreshing effort, and has the bonus of being in French too! And the automatic qualifiers: 🇫🇷 France: You’ve heard of France, right? You know, that wee country south of Belgium, north of Andorra, not much of a music industry… or so you’d think, given that the troolee jeenyuss new delegation, who abandoned their brilliant national final which showcased how diverse and qualitative their music scene is despite it being a huge success in the fandom, and instead reached out to the writer of last year’s last place song for the UK and a few other rentaswedes and they produced something that sounds like a b-side that not even Westlife would have recorded, replete with a stock key change. About as French as IKEA köttbullar. A real shame for one of Europe’s most highly esteemed cultural hotbeds. If they wanted to pick Tom Leeb, who seems like a nice guy and has written some lovely music, he could have made his own song and it would have indubitably been scores better than this. 🇪🇸 Spain: I’m going to apply this to all the automatic qualifiers voting on this semi-final: they scrapped a national final for this? OT was not an ideal format as last year demonstrated with its shit show of contestants sabotaging themselves so as not to get picked for ESC – but still. There’s not much I can say about this other than I don’t like it much and I’d rather Spain return to a proper NF. You don’t spend time trapped on a bus where this song with its torturous falsetto was on replay and emerge with fond feelings. 🇬🇧 United Kingdom: Usually, in this space, I can point to a song that the UK should have sent and that I fell in love with – like I wish I loved you more or You. Once again, though, another big 6 nation scrapped their NF after tanking it with a bizarre format last year. The BBC said nothing for months, then were unwilling to spend tv time on ESC this year so just blurted out an announcement of an announcement in  about 40 seconds after some dance show. And then they dropped this song. It’s… passable at best, with an annoying chorus (especially that beat in “my last… breath”) and a staggering amount of repetition in a song that clocks in at only around 80% of the standard Eurovision song length. James Newman surely could have come up with something better. It’s a baby step in the right direction, but one taken at the shore where you need to start running to avoid getting pulled away in a rip.

[racetrackhiggins]

Hanukkah Binch

This is from the rp that me and @alkimara did a while back, I actually looked at the date, and this segment in particular is from like a year ago, I went back and formatted it from discord and made a couple spelling error edits I noticed but there’s probably more. They requested I post it after seeing a post about there not being a lot of Hanukkah celebration fics and stuff

Disclaimer: neither of us are Jewish, all the information I wrote in here was honestly taken from hours of googling, but I might have still gotten some stuff wrong, but I hope it’s at least okay :) 

word count: 15433 ship: finch/buttons

-

Well, another year, another lonely Hanukkah. Finch had tried to remake his mom's challah, but it wasn't the same, and he'd let it sit too long in the oven. Might as well toss it. He wondered what his mom was doing... He wondered if she missed him as much as he sometimes missed her. But he couldn't go back, not with that monster of a stepdad living there. He'd probably end up dead if he ever stepped foot in there while having a boyfriend. 

He spun the little dreidel on the coffee table idly, watching as it landed on gimel. Whole pot. Had he been playing with someone. 

He sighed, looking at his phone again. Buttons' still hadn't responded to his text. He was probably having fun with his family, Finch couldn't blame him. Maybe he should just work on that animation, at least it would give him something to do…

Buttons saw Finch turned away, and was quiet, so so quiet... "Hey babe~," He giggled, wrapping his arms around Finch's waist. "How are you~?" He looked around, noticing immediately that Finch was alone here, and his heart broke slightly.

Finch nearly screamed, whipping around. "My god, you almost gave me a fucking heart attack!" He looked at Buttons with a disbelieving smile on his face. "What the fuck are you doing here, I thought you were with your family?"

"I heard you were here being alone and mopey," Buttons hummed, "Came to either give you company or invite you over. Or both." He looked over, "Can't play dreidel with a party of one. Well... You'd gotta teach me how to play.'

Finch was quiet for a moment. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't- fuck. He covered his face so Buttons wouldn't see him crying.

"Wh-? Hey... Babe?" Buttons gently curled Finch closer, nuzzling close. "I got you..."

"S-sorry, just..." he couldn't finish the sentence, worming himself around to hug Buttons' neck tightly, burying his face into the crook of it.

"I got ya... You wanna come over? Bring some stuff? You'd probably be teaching us a lot," He chuckled. He moved to rub Finch's back, "Literally I've been trying to get them to let you come over since the break... Finally got 'em."

Finch nodded softly. It had been a long time since he'd been in a... family environment, unless you counted this as a family. Which he kinda did. "I-I'd like that," he said quietly.

"Alrighty, pack your things, and uh... We'll try not to break anything," Buttons hummed. "I may or may not have family in the car downstairs."

Finch laughed in disbelief. "I can't believe you..." But he got up, starting to pack his things, just kinda emptying out his bookbag and stuffing some clothes, his laptop, and some chargers into it. When he came back out with it on his shoulder, he glanced over at the stupid little plastic menorah. He didn't even consider himself a practicing Jew anymore, but... the dumb little fake flames made him feel connected to his mom, in a way. He looked away, clearing his throat. "Guess I'm ready."

"Clearly, you're not," Buttons hummed, going to pick up the menorah. He also picked up the dreidel, though that was more in secret. He handed the menorah to Finch with a small smile, because supportive boyfriends are supportive. "Now, is that everything?"

Finch gave him a small smile as he held onto the menorah's base. "Yeah..." He pressed a kiss to Buttons' cheek.

Buttons smiled, kissing Finch's forehead in return as he brought the other downstairs and to the car.

"So, you're Benny's boyfriend~?" An older girl asked with a smirk, an eyebrow raised. 

"Oh, here we go," Buttons mumbled.

Finch grinned, glancing at Buttons. "Yep," he said a little shyly. "I'm Finch."

"Good to meet you, Fin- aAH!!" 

A younger boy shot up from the passenger seat, "42 WALLABY WAY SYDNEY- Oh that was fast." He laughed as he got hit by the girl who was driving. 

Buttons sighed, opening the rear door, "My older brother and sister, Ed and Jan. Ed has narcolepsy."

Finch snickered, "Hi, nice Finding Nemo reference." He kinda fiddled with one of the unlit bulbs on the menorah, not really sure what to say. As an only child, he'd had no idea what to do with siblings in general.

"Welllll hop in!" Jan laughed. 

Ed beamed, "Why thank you." 

Buttons stepped to the side, helping Finch into the car before climbing in himself, being careful with Finch's stuff and especially the menorah. Ed looked over at it, eyes wide in curiosity, but he didn't comment, instead deciding to vibrate in place.

Finch very subtly took Buttons' hand when he got in, partially out of nerves. "So, uh, how old are you guys?" he asked to the two up front.

"25," Jan answered, starting to drive. 

"23," Ed said, blinking slowly, "Trying to get settled in my own place, but I'm not allowed to be alone, in case I fall and hurt myself."

"Versus I'm just working from home to help our parents pay for all of your colleges," Jan said again, glaring in the rear-view at Buttons, who shrugged. He gently intertwined his fingers with Finch's, trying to relax Finch by rubbing his thumb over his hand.

"Ah," Finch nodded. Um... "What about the others?" He knows Buttons had mentioned bits about them before but he couldn't for the life of him remember.

"Benny's 21, Amy's gonna graduate now at 18, Max is 17, and Junior is 12," Jan answered, squinting at the road. "Road work ahead," She muttered. 

"I sure hope it does," Ed smirked. 

"If I wasn't driving, I'd knock you into another coma," Jan growled. 

"I can do that myself, thank you very much," Ed winked.

"At least he's cultured," Finch snickered, maybe not so subtly leaning against Buttons. Boy was like a damn cat sometimes.

Buttons moved an arm around Finch, switching the hand he was holding Finch's hand with. He hummed, shifting to be comfortable, even with their seat belts on. 

"Cuddlebugs," Jan giggled. "But also- Ben? Mom was asking if you two wanted to share a room." 

"Ohoho??" Ed wiggled his eyebrows, grinning.

"I mean, we already share a room, so even if we weren't dating I wouldn't have a problem with it," Finch pointed out. "Plus, I'd hate ta steal someone else's room."

"Ed, knock it off," Buttons groaned. 

"I second that," Jan said, flicking Ed's forehead.

"I mean, he's got a point," Finch murmured with a grin to Buttons.

Buttons blushed a bit, murmuring back, "Yeah but they don't gotta know that." 

Ed had a giant smirk on his face.

"Alright, boys~ we're home~!" Jan announced as she pulled up to the house. "Please leave your limbs inside the vehicle until we've come to a full and complete st- eDWARD!" Ed had opened the door and hopped out of the car, racing to the front door. Jan groaned as she put the car in park and turned it off, getting out, "I have the keys you idiot!!" 

Buttons hummed, getting out of the car and helping Finch out with his stuff.

"I'm guessing it's always this chaotic?" Finch smiled, trying to pretend he wasn't nervous about meeting Finch's whole family. He'd already known that Buttons' family had inherited a nice house but like... this was 

 nice.

"Oh, it's worse inside," Buttons snickered. "Be careful with the twelve-year-old. We're trying to keep him from swearing," He hummed, moving to help the other inside. 

At the door was an older woman, standing inside the house with a kind smile. She was hugging each of her children and kissing their cheeks, and Buttons looked a little nervous. "Hey, mom," He smiled, going to hug her. "This is my boyfriend-" 

The woman turned to Finch, pulling him into a hug, "Hello! Welcome! What's your name??"

"Finch, nice ta meet you, ma'am," Finch said politely, a little surprised by the hug. Did he hug back??

A younger looking boy ran down the stairs. "OOOOO, BENNY'S BROUGHT HIS BOYFRIEND~!" he shouted for the whole house to hear. 

"June, 

," a mousy looking girl said, pushing his face as she passed him. 

"Hey! Mom! Amy pushed me!" Junior shouted as if she weren't right there. 

"Did not!" Amy argued. 

Finch just kinda glanced at Buttons as if to ask if this was normal for siblings.

Buttons just sighed in distress. His mom soon released Finch from the hug, "Finch. Ah- it's okay, I suppose you can share your real name when the family isn't all about. I've heard about your little code names." She smiled at Buttons, who glared and slowly narrowed his eyes. "Right, Button~?" God damn it. 

Buttons sighed, "I'll go set up my room. Where's Max?" 

"Practicing, I think," His mom answered. 

Buttons nodded, looking at Finch, "Well, c'mon. Let's get you settled."

Finch nodded, carrying his stuff and letting Buttons lead him. 

Junior was 

 following them, curious about the new boy and the weird candle thing he was holding.

"Junior, whatcha doin'?" Buttons hummed casually, opening the door to his room. He moved to help Finch set his stuff down, going to flop on his giant bed, making it pretty clear that they'd be sharing. He looked over at his little brother, an eyebrow raised.

"What's that thing?" Junior asked, pointing at the menorah. 

"It's a menorah, but like really shi- uh, not very well made. An actual one would have real candles," Finch explained, barely catching himself. 

"What's it for?" Junior asked. 

"It's, uh, well, it's a Jewish tradition to light them, one a night, to represent the eight nights oil stayed burning when it was only supposed to last two," Finch explained, a little happily. 

"Oh, its that Hanukkah thing! I've heard about those, I've never seen a real one." 

Finch snorted, "I'm not even sure this really counts, but it's all I could afford so..."

"I think it counts," Buttons said softly, putting an arm over Finch's shoulders. 

"Looks like you made it all by yourself~. You're more talented than just drawing, y'know," Buttons smiled. He looked at Junior, "Finch makes animations and drawings! Don'tcha, Finch?"

"Yeah," Finch said sheepishly. 

"Like Disney?!" Junior asked excitedly. 

"Like... well, I guess, but I'm certainly not good enough to make a whole animated film, maybe a short at most," Finch shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. 

"Woah..."

Buttons was beaming, "Yeah, I've got a pretty talented boyfriend, huh~?"

... And now there was a loud electric guitar coming from the next room. Buttons sighed. Max.

"No fair you have a cool boyfriend," Junior pouted, ignoring the guitar. 

Finch flushed a little at that. What, no, he wasn't cool! He looked up at the guitar, looking at Buttons as he sighed.

Buttons smirked, "'Course I do~." He looked over at Finch, "That's Max. They're. Uh. I don't know the term. Rock band. Very... metal."

"Sounds like 

 cool," Finch chuckled softly as Junior ran off. "I am certainly not the cool boyfriend. I'm just some animating nerd who showed up with a dumb handmade menorah." He flopped next to the bags, sighing softly as he set the thing down. The lights flickered for a second, and he tensed up for a moment before they went to normal. "Probably won't even last much longer if I don't change out the wires. Why bother though?" he murmured under his breath.

Buttons pouted, going over and flopping on top of Finch. "Because it looks like it means a lot to you," He said softly. "I don't know why, but it does. If you need help, we can fix it," He murmured, kissing Finch lightly.

Finch looked up at Buttons softly. "You know why I stay at the dorm instead of going home every year?" he asked quietly, knowing full well he hadn't told anyone about his family situation, not even Buttons.

"No," Buttons said softly, moving off of the other and sitting next to him, carefully holding Finch's hand.

"Cause I ran away from home when I was sixteen," Finch said, letting out a small, humorless laugh. "My stepdad nearly killed me when he found out I was gay, my mom never knew how he treated me when she wasn't looking... So I left."

Button's eyes widened, and he moved closer to Finch, looking at the other with an expression that could only be described as holding a lot of emotions.

Finch had to look away from him, running a hand through his hair. "My dad died when I was thirteen, and Aaron came in and 'saved' my grieving mother not long after." He sighed, holding onto the menorah and looking at it. "Guess this is me just trying to feel like I did in the past. Obviously, it's not the same. Can't even actually light this stupid thing." He sounded a little bitter about it. "But I couldn't use real candles in this or I'd just burn something down."

Buttons was biting his lip, thinking. He gently looked over, taking the menorah and turning it off. He set it to the side, standing and tugging Finch out of the room, heading out to the garage with the other, still quiet and thinking. He let go of the other, grabbing a stool and climbing on it, reaching for a large blue bin. He grabbed it, carefully pulling it down and setting it on the ground with a grunt. After digging around for a few seconds, he pulled out a 

 bag of clay, putting it on the metal table. He looked at Finch, "Bake-able clay. Will not melt from a candle. Well- not if we put in the little metal cups at the bottom." He dug around, pulling out the metal cups that were usually seen in tiny candles. Except there was no wax or wick. "Jan used to play around with candles," Buttons hummed, setting the metal pieces on the table as well. He looked at Finch, heading around the box and going to take the other's hands again. "It might not be the same, you might not be able to get to the past, but... There's nothing wrong with remembering how happy you were."

Finch watched with confusion until Buttons started explaining. He bit his lip, and god damn it, he was starting to tear up again. "Hah, we could make real dreidels with that too," he said, trying to blink away the wetness to not much avail.

Buttons saw the tearing up, "Oh. I did it again." He chuckled, gently offering his arms for a hug, "Also, 

 make the dreidels. Or you'd have to teach me how to help."

"I can help," Ed said, peeking in. Buttons glanced away, and Ed continued, 

 "Please?" Buttons said softly. 

"I didn't say no," Ed laughed, moving into the room.

"Sorry I'm coming in and Jewing everything up," Finch joked, wiping his eyes. "I really appreciate it, though..."

"Jesus was Jewish," Ed snorted softly, going to pat Finch's head before moving to pull the clay out of the bag. He blinked, going for his set of sculpting tools and setting them out before starting to play with different pieces of clay. "Plus we mostly celebrate Christmas for each other and presents," He chuckled.

"Very true. To be fair, most Jews believe that a guy named Jesus existed and was probably a cool dude... that's about the extent of it though," Finch grinned, feeling much better.

Buttons had moved to grab another piece of clay, playing around with it to warm it up. 

"Lit," Ed said with a grin.

Finch grabbed a piece, kneading it. "I've only made a dreidel once before, wonder if I could do it again. I'm still convinced my dad had switched it out with a better one so I wouldn't feel bad when it didn't spin right," Finch said, smiling softly... damn, it had been a long time since he'd thought of that.

"What's so hard about making a spin?" Ed grinned, grabbing the entire thing of clay- which was as big as a laptop -and just dumping it out, starting to knead it like a large piece of dough. "Shit, this is hard," He mumbled.

"I mean, I was also like six at the time," Finch grinned. "And my dad was a sculptor for a living." He snickered at Ed, "I don't think we're making bread, that's a whole other tradition. I do remember he said it should be about the size of the hole of your fingers," he said, holding his pointer and thumb together in a circle.

"Yeah, but I'm tryin to smooth this out for the uh... the candle stick... What's it called?" Ed tilted his head, curious. 

Buttons took a smaller piece of his big piece, holding it out, "Like this?"

"Menorah," Finch said, nodding in approval to Buttons. He was rolling the clay into a ball, starting to roll a point with his palm. For a moment, he could swear he felt his dad beside him, reminding him how to do it. There was a small smile on his face, perhaps bittersweet.

Buttons leaned over from his spot, watching, trying to follow as he did it. 

"Right," Ed hummed, still rolling out the clay. And then he hummed again. "Well. Maybe you'll need to do this alone." 

"Ed???" Buttons looked over. 

Ed gave a thumbs up, moving over to the hammock in the room, and barely managing to get on it before collapsing, snoring lightly. 

Buttons sighed.

Finch laughed softly. "I don't mind." He scooted closer to Buttons, letting him see exactly how he was doing it. 

 he heard in his head. Finch repeated it to Buttons, not realizing he'd copied his dad's Spanish accent, too focused on the actions of his fingers.

Buttons blushed a bit at the accent, but didn't dare break the spell that Finch was under, following along as best as he could.

"Could ya hand me the little... that thing with the string on it?" Finch asked in his normal accent, pointing in the direction of the tools.

"Yup," Buttons hummed, grabbing it and moving it over to Finch.

Finch took the string and used it to cut clean sides onto it, and suddenly it looked like a somewhat long dreidel. He set it on the ground, slicing it down to size before taking the extra and beginning to form it into a little rolled snaky piece for the top of the spinner to be cut out of.

"Ohh what the..." Buttons took the string piece, trying to copy what Finch had done. A little crooked, but it still looked like a dreidel. Mostly.

"Looks good!" Finch grinned proudly at him, kissing his cheek. He molded the snaky part to the top of his dreidel, smoothing it out so it looked nearly seamless, before pinching the extra off and molding it to be a neat top. "Do you have paint? It would be easier than trying to cut the symbols in."

Buttons was sticking his tongue out as he followed, "Yeah, more paint in the bin. There's also some teeeeeny tiny brushes." He was squinting, trying to focus, so happy that Finch said it looked good.

"Sweet, then this is done to bake," Finch smiled. He looked over at the menorah, thinking. If they were gonna make it candle-safe, then there would be no need for the wires.... He could just use the base and sculpt over it with clay, then- wait, no the plastic would probably melt in the oven. "I think we just start completely over," Finch murmured, setting the menorah down, using it as a visual example as he started rolling out a base from Ed's big ball.

"Alright," Buttons said after a moment, seeing no other way. "We can use the little metal bits as molds for where the candle will go?" He offered, using some wire to start planning out the structure. He ran into the house and back out again, having a roll of aluminum foil. He started rolling off large sheets, trying to build up the menorah’s main bulk.

Finch smiled, just looking at Buttons for a long moment as he worked. It was fitting, maybe. Finch had made his menorah years ago out of homesickness and sorrow, never quite content with it. Now Buttons was here, helping him build a new good memory to associate with Hanukkah. Not just the sad longing of the past.

Buttons caught the look, giggling softly. He moved over, gently kissing Finch, 'cause the other was just too damn cute. "Alright," He hummed, pushing the menorah forwards, "I did my very best~!"

"I love you so much," Finch said softly as he took the menorah base. He looked back up at Buttons with a small smile. "Thank you for doing this with me, and for not letting me be alone this year."

Buttons smiled softly, "'Course... I love you too, Finch. A lot. I'm glad you're here with me. Even if my family is uh... Crazy." He chuckled a bit, happy.

Finch laughed softly. "I certainly see why you seemed so used to the Newsies when we moved in." He had a long rope of clay at this point, and he put the end on the bottom of the base, starting to wind it around the foil, making sure there were no breaks in it.

"Yeah," Buttons giggled, watching the other.

Finch managed to get it halfway up before he needed to roll more. He quickly rolled it out, his tongue sticking out a little bit in focus as he did. He carefully molded it to the end of the previous one so you couldn't tell the end or start of either. He winded it up the rest of the way, nodding a little bit in satisfaction.

Buttons just watched, his elbows on the table. He was fascinated with how the other worked, and snorted softly, "Y'know I'm like. The only one in my family that doesn't have artistic talent? Ed can sculpt like a badass, Amy can paint, Max loves their guitar like it's their kid. Jan with watercolors is something extraterrestrial. We don't really know if Junior has anything, though." Buttons sunk, moving his face against the table, "Then there's me, who I guess can sew. And my artistic and talented as fuck boyfriend~."

"But you're cute as a button~" Finch teased, glancing up at him. "And at least you have a life skill," he said, nodding at him.

Buttons rolled his eyes, "My mom says that too much. Jack said my name in front of her and it was the death of me. I'm just a ghost." He giggled, and blinked. He gasped, offended, "Art is a life skill!! Look at this sculpting talent from a beautifully sculpted man! You could sell things online!!" He grinned at Finch, his voice loud and dramatic.

"Shh, you'll wake your brother up," Finch said, definitely not turning red at all.

Buttons giggled, "I could- and have -screamed into his ear. Doesn't do a thing."

Finch laughed softly, starting to wrap the clay in the same fashion around one of the prongs of the candleholders.

Buttons moved over, wrapping his arms around Finch's waist, nuzzling into his back, but not hindering the other from working. "I~ Love~ You~," Buttons hummed with a smile.

"I love you too~" Finch hummed, glancing at him for a moment, leaning his head against him.

Buttons moved to kiss the other happily. 

"Gay." 

Buttons sighed, pressing his head against Finch's shoulder, "Gotta love my family." 

Jan giggled, "Mom wanted me to let you know Dinner will be ready in around an hour." 

"Alright, thanks, Jan," Buttons said, still hiding his blush and cuddling with Finch.

"Sure, Jan," Finch said in an imitation of the meme with a small giggle as he worked. "Hopefully I'll at least be done with this part... yeah, no there's no way I will."

Jan rolled her eyes, heading off again. 

Buttons sighed, looking up, "I can help. Maybe. Yes?" He looked hopeful.

"You can go ahead a roll out more? That way when I run out, I have more ready," Finch suggested.

"Alrighty~!" Buttons beamed, moving away to go roll out more clay happily.

Finch smiled as he kept working, planning ahead in his mind, realizing that he was very much modeling it after the one his mother had. The twists were more like his dad, though. By the end of the hour, he'd finished one side of the menorah.

At some point during the hour, Ed had bolted awake. And then slapped himself to keep himself awake. "Fuckin'..." He sighed, waving to the two as he moved out of the room.

At the end of the hour, Buttons was beaming, "It looks great!" He looked excited, practically vibrating in place. "Alright, c'mon~," He giggled, gently moving the Menorah to the middle of the table where it would be safe. He smiled at Finch, leading the other to the kitchen happily.

Finch grinned back to him, following him. 

Buttons' dad was in the kitchen, totally not flirting teasingly with his wife. "Hey, Ben, how goes it?" he grinned, pulling away from her to ruffle Buttons' hair. "You must be Finch," he said in a friendly manner, shaking Finch's hand. "You can just call me Peter." 

"Nice to meet you, sir," Finch said a little sheepishly.

Buttons sighed, smiling a bit from his father's head-rub. "Hey, Dad," He chuckled, moving to help set the table. He smiled a but at Finch and his dad, confident that they'd get along okay.

Junior came bounding down the stairs, making web-slinging noises as he pretended to be swinging in like Spiderman. "I hear there is... dinner~" he said dramatically. He dropped it after a second, pouting, "Amy says she's not coming cause she has to write a paper." 

Peter sighed, glancing at his wife. "You want me to get her or just bring her a plate?" 

Finch sorta scooted a little closer to Buttons.

Buttons blinked, gently tugging Finch closer, "It's okay, no one's gonna eat you." He giggled a bit, kissing Finch's cheek. 

Max came downstairs with a sigh. They appeared completely androgynous, black hair and black and pale makeup over their face. They definitely stood out from the crowd with the black metal t-shirt and spiked bracelets, but they just hummed as they moved to help set everything up, nodding their head casually at Finch.

"You sure?" Finch asked quietly at Max's appearance, and he'd certainly be lying if he said he wasn't a little intimidated by them.

"Well, I might, but not now," Buttons snickered quietly. "Also, don't worry about Max. They're doing their thing, and we love them anyway," Buttons giggled, a little louder. 

Max gave a rock on symbol with their hand, smiling a bit.

.

Button's mother, Jess, sighed. "Go bring her down, she has the entire week and can take a 20 minute break for family." She pecked husband's lips, moving to bring things to the table.

Peter nodded, heading upstairs as Junior hung onto his mom's arm. "Gross, you gave Dad cooties~" 

Finch laughed softly, "Fair enough." He waited for Buttons to tell him where to go/what to do.

Jess hummed, "He already had cooties long before you were born." And she looked at Jan, the eldest. 

Ed hummed, moving to sit, and Buttons gently motioned for Finch to sit next to himself. Ed sat across from Finch, Max going to sit on the other side of Finch instead. Jan sat next to Ed, leaving the last spot for Amy, and the heads of the table for their parents.

"Ewww," Junior cried, running off to the table. He leaned close to Buttons, "Mom made a dirty joke," he said scandalously. 

Finch snorted, covering his mouth to try to disguise his laugh as a cough.

Jess rolled her eyes, smiling a bit as she moved to sit. She sighed, waiting for Peter and Amy.

Amy came down and sat down, sighing a little bit. Peter came and sat at the other end of the table. "Looks great, hun," he said, looking at the spread.

Jess smiled at that, "Had to work my best magic for our guest." 

The people at the table moved to hold hands, Max gently taking Finch's other to connect the circle. Hm. Black fingerless gloves. After quickly saying grace, Buttons, Jan, and Jess moved to serve the food. When that was done, they sat again, and started to eat.

Finch felt a sort of pang in his heart that he elected to ignore as he started to eat. "It's really good, ma'am," he said politely.

"Thank you," She hummed with a smile. "So, why don't you tell us a bit about yourself?" Ah. The family interrogation. Buttons sighed, as if he was expecting this.

"Oh, um, well, I'm in my third year like Benny, and I'm going for an Animation major," Finch said.

"Oh, good luck," Jess said politely. "Sounds like a fun field, certainly a lot of work!" 

"Takes me forever for one sketch," Jan said with a bit of a laugh.

"Yeah, it can take me weeks to do a ten minute short, " Finch grinned. "I had to simplify my style a little to make even that."

"Wow," Jan laughed. 

"Big yikes," Ed nodded in agreement.

"Yeah... Ben's had to drag me away from my tablet at 3 am cause I was still working on a project," Finch chuckled, glancing at Buttons.

"At 3am you weren't even focusing," Buttons grinned. 

Jan chuckled, "Deadlines suck."

Finch nodded in agreement. 

"Could you draw Spiderman?" Junior asked, his eyes sparkling. 

"Yeah, sure!" Finch said. 

"I wanna be Spiderman, he's so cool, and he lives in New York, so I could be Spiderman," Junior said idly as he ate. 

Hm. Alright. Finch could do that, probably by the end of the week.

Ed giggled, "Just gotta find a radioactive spider." 

Jan flicked his arm.

Junior nodded, "Mhm." 

"Don't go around trying to get bit by spiders," Peter warned, glancing at Ed. 

Junior pouted a little, but simply kept eating. 

"I'm done, can I go work on my paper now?" Amy asked. 

"Sure, tell your little internet girlfriend we say hi," Peter teased. 

Amy blushed a little bit, but didn't respond to that as she took her plate to the kitchen.

Ed shrugged. 

"Good luck, Amy~!" Jan said cheerfully. 

Max kept eating, remembering something. Ah, they'd just bring it up when they needed to.

Once everyone was done eating, Junior ran to go play video games until his mom told him to get off of it, and Peter carried plates to the sink to wash them. 

Finch looked down at the table, murmuring a short and quick prayer, hoping no one noticed. He stood up. "Do we need to help..?" he asked Buttons.

Max had done the same without even asking, just staying by Finch. Seems someone was educated. Buttons was a bit confused but respectful, leaving his hands in his lap and waiting until Finch was done. "Nah, my dish day was yesterday," Buttons said with a smile, "We can probably just go up to the room." 

Max got up, moving to the kitchen, because today was their dish day.

"Would it be okay if I went and tried to finish the menorah first?" Finch asked softly.

"Shit, almost forgot," Buttons huffed. "Yeah, let's go." He smiled at the other, moving back to the garage.

And then Jan grabbed him. He squeaked, Jan holding him a chokehold as she said kindly, "You go on ahead, I'd like to talk to Ben for a second."

"O-okay," Finch said. "Please don't break my boyfriend." He waved to Buttons as he went back to the garage and got back to work.

"I'll do my best," Jan beamed. 

Ed moved back into the garage a few minutes later, getting some clay from the larger wad. He looked over at Finch's sculpture, "Looks nice." He started messing with the clay, working on his own thing.

-

 Buttons squeaked. 

"Why else would you bring him home?" Jan smirked. 

"Because?? He was at college all alone???" He answered, face bright red. "Okay- I- Jan- I know I love him- but like- we 

"Never too early or late to hop on the wedding train," Jan grinned. 

"Says you! Where's your marriage?" Buttons glared. 

Jan put a hand over her chest dramatically, "Across the seven seas in aromantic land, remember?" Buttons groaned, looking at her, and she giggled. "I just wanted to see what was up. Everyone seems to like him. Just putting a little~ thought~ into your head."

"Thanks," Finch said shyly, smiling softly at it. Maybe another hour at this pace and he could finish the wrappings. Then from there, the rest wouldn't be too hard.

Ed nodded. And then he felt something familiar. "Hm. I really hope I don't collapse," He muttered, pacing more to keep himself awake.

Finch looked up, setting the thing down. "Do-do I need to get anyone? Or catch you?"

"Uhhhh...." Ed shook his head, "No, lemme jus- siNKING SHIP-!!" 

As soon as he'd started yelling it, Max was under him, catching him as he fell over. Max sighed, helping the other over to the hammock, "Got him..." 

Jan appeared at the doorway, calm when she saw Max had their brother, and continuing to hold Buttons in a chokehold out of view. She moved away, casually continuing their conversation. 

Max sighed, "You worked another late night." Ed huffed something, trying to keep awake, but nope- he passed out. Max looked over, "Sorry about that."

"Ah, it's fine," Finch said a bit slowly. "That happen often?"

"Yeah. He's got narcolepsy with cataplexy- it's better on days where he actually gets sleep," Max said, moving over. "That's pretty," They hummed, looking at the menorah.

"Oh, thanks. My last one isn't so much, so Bu-Ben was helping me make a new one," Finch said, gesturing to the flickering fake candles on the plastic one. "I'm gonna make a little Star of David piece to put on top for the shamash to sit on once I'm done with this part."

"Nice," Max hummed. They looked around, pulling out a ninth metal cup, "Probably gonna need that one." They rolled their shoulders, tilting their head, "Also be careful that it's strong enough that you can drop it from an inch off the table and it won't break- that's usually a tell if it'll crack in the oven."

"Yeah, I figured I'd roll the wire into two triangles, put the clay on, then put them together and make sure they are really secure," Finch said, motioning with his hands.

Max gave a thumbs up, looking over at Ed. They sighed, playing with one of their rings, looking worried for their brother. He moved back to the hammock, bringing up a chair, carefully watching the other. "What was he doing before he passed out?"

"He was starting to do something with the clay, but he'd just started, so I'm not sure what," Finch said as he started working again.

"Alright, gonna need that to trigger his memory again so he doesn't pass out again," Max sighed.

"How's that work?" Finch asked curiously.

"So, from what the doctors say," Max hummed, trying to think, "Basically the cataplexy means he gets paralyzed. The narcolepsy actually makes him pass out, which becomes a lot easier when his muscle tension is basically zero. It's also 'cause he doesn't release wake-up chemicals, as the Doc called them. So when he's slept like shit, you can imagine how much easier that is. Usually it doesn't last very long- but it's disorienting, so it takes a while for him to remember what he was doing. The faster he remembers, the faster he can wake up." Max smiled a bit, happy they'd remembered all of that, and looked up. "I may or may not be interested in the medical field," They admitted.

"Oh... Huh. That's pretty cool," Finch said. "The medical field interest, not the... yeah." Stop talking now.

Max laughed a little, "No, it is all cool. It's just kinda shitty, too." 

Max pat Ed's forehead, and he shot up, blinking rapidly, "FUCK!" 

Max chuckled, "What were you sculpting, bro?" 

"A-a-auh...." He looked over, squinting at the clay, trying not to collapse again, "Uhm... Uh..." 

"Easy, focus. Kinda looks like a flower?" Max said, glancing over. 

"Oh. A rose. I was-" His face heated up, "-doING A THING FOR A FRIEND." He took a breath, because fuck he didn't want to pass out again.

Finch kinda watched as he worked, not wanting to disrupt or somehow make it worse.

Max gently pat Ed's head, "Let's bring it up to your room, yeah?" 

Ed sighed, waving Max off. He got up, moving over to the table (only slightly woozy). He waved to Finch awkwardly, then moved with Max out of the room. 

It was another half-hour before Buttons moved into the garage, "I'm freeeee~!"

Finch waved to them, going back to work. By the time Buttons came in, he was finishing the last one. "Jeez, she stole you for a while," he teased. "What were ya talkin' about?"

"Sibling stuff," Buttons murmured, blushing a little. "Wow, that looks nice~."

"As an only child, I have no idea what that means," Finch giggled, twirling the menorah in his hand. "Yeah, it's not bad, huh?" He beamed, setting it down carefully as he grabbed the wire again, cutting pieces out and forming them into the shape he wanted above the top to make sure the sizing was okay. Content, he took them back, forming them into two triangles before grabbing a piece of clay and rolling it.

Buttons watched with interest, recognizing the shape. "We could probably pop it in the oven and head up, Max doesn't know the definition of sleep. Ironically," He chuckled.

"Yeah, all I gotta do is make the Star and form it, and the cups, onto it and make sure they are all secure, make the bottom, unless you wanna do that. Just take a cup or a ball of some sort and form it around it, then cut it to be even," Finch said, focused as he stuck one of the wire pieces through it. "We could probably finish the whole thing within another hour, at most."

Buttons nodded, moving to help how Finch directed him.

Once they had put the final touches together and Finch had made sure everything was secure and wouldn't easily break off, he looked up at Buttons proudly. "I think it's done!" His eyes were shining in a way they usually didn't.

Buttons smiled happily at the shine, going, "Alright, let's put 'er in~!" Soon enough, they had the manorah in the oven, and Buttons was leading Finch upstairs again after Max swore to bring the item out of the oven when the timer went off.

Finch flopped onto the bed, sprawled across it, his eyes closed but a small smile on his face.

"Incoming," Buttons laughed, flopping next to Finch and nuzzling close. "Day 1. Status: Alive. Mostly."

"Day 1, didn't massively embarrass myself in front of your family. I hope," Finch giggled, wrapping around him like a koala.

"Nope," Buttons giggled, snuggling closer happily. "Are we showering or just sleeping?"

"I'm guessing we can't shower together without raising some eyebrows," Finch grinned, opening his eyes to look at him softly.

"I mean, we can, we just can't make noise," Buttons snorted softly. He curled into the bed and Finch more.

"Hm, tempting~" Finch grinned, not having much intention of leaving Buttons' arms at the moment. After a moment, he said quietly. "I want to make a quick animation for your brother, he seems to really like Spiderman, so I wanna do like... a shot of Spidey swinging into the frame and pulling off his mask and it's Junior. You think he'd like that?"

"I think he'd scream out of pure joy," Buttons chuckled. 

 He thought to himself, his ears going red again.

"Would you absolutely hate me if I started storyboarding it now?" Finch grinned. "I'll stay here and let you cuddle me if it helps~"

"As long as I get to cuddle you, I don't care," Buttons hummed happily.

Finch kissed him quickly before hopping down to grab his laptop and tablet, setting it up as he got back and settled against the pillows. He closed the latke recipe that was open when he opened his laptop; he'd considered trying to make them, but after the failed challah, decided not to. He woke up the tablet by wiggling the pen across it, opening Flash.

Buttons didn't notice (mostly cuz he didn't understand). "Hey, if you're interested in making any other stuff, we got plenty," Buttons giggled, cuddling up to Finch's back. He kept his arms around the other's waist, letting him work.

Finch shrugged, "I wouldn't want to make another mess. I tried to recreate my mom's challah- its a type a bread- and it turned out pretty horribly. I burned the hell outta it but somehow the inside was still raw. Guess I'm not a baker," he joked as he started sketching.

"Hmm~... If you want, we can try to make it tomorrow. We really don't celebrate a lot," Buttons admitted with a bit of a chuckled. "Our celebrating is chilling without school."

Finch was quiet for a moment, it seemed that maybe he didn't hear him? "I'd like that," he said after a moment, glancing at Buttons. "We could make latkes and doughnuts," he smiled softly. "And maybe retry the challah, possibly with some help."

"What's a latke?" Buttons asked curiously, nuzzling into Finch's neck and watching the other.

"Basically like a fried potato pancake," Finch explained. "Latkes and doughnuts are traditional, cause the whole oil thing, and you fry them in oil, ya know. They were my favorite part, but I haven't had them in years."

"Well... We got a frier..." Buttons looked extremely interested. "We can try it~!"

Finch butted his head lightly against Buttons'. He was so in love with this boy, and so so grateful for him and his family taking him in and letting him celebrate his own holiday.

Buttons laughed a little, placing kisses on Finch's cheek and neck happily. "I love you so much~," He hummed.

"I love 

 so much," Finch countered. "And... thanks. Seriously. I would be moping in my bed all alone right now had you not brought me in."

Buttons hummed again, "I couldn't let my boyfriend just be mopin'...." He smiled a little, "Plus, I get to cuddle you in my bed~." His voice dropped a little, "Get to be with you~ In my bed~." He was just teasing now, kissing Finch's neck again and letting the kiss linger.

"Oh, naughty naughty brat boy," Finch teased, trying to stay on focus with the sketching, as tempting as Buttons was.

"Hehe~," Buttons giggled, lightly nomming on Finch's neck. He settled down, though, wanting the other to focus, and hummed softly, just keeping close.

Finch rolled his eyes with a smile, leaning a little more against him. "By the time I finish the storyboarding, most of your family will probably be asleep," Finch said, just kinda throwing that out there.

"Not me~," Buttons smirked, "And my room is next to Ed's and Max's... Ed is a deep sleeper, and Max sleeps with music..." Just to say that. Y'know.

"Hm. Interesting." Finch said oh so casually, just sketching. No naughtiness happening here, so innocent~

Buttons hummed in response, teasingly nomming on Finch's neck again, and just resting there.

Finch laughed softly, resting his head against Buttons'. "Does your mama know you are trying to be naughty with your boyfriend under her roof~?" he teased.

"Considering I have five siblings, I don't think she can scold me," Buttons smirked.

"You know what... fair enough," Finch snickered. His hand moved fast, and the general motion of a figure swinging into the shot was clear.

Buttons got a little distracted, watching Finch draw quietly, just looking amazed. He relaxed against the other, almost hypnotized by Finch's movements.

By the time he was done, an hour and a half had passed. "How's that?" Finch asked, playing the simple animation back on a loop for him.

"Looks badass," Buttons hummed, eyes wide. "June's really gonna love it."

Finch grinned, saving it before closing his laptop and setting it on the ground beside him. He hummed, coming back up to kiss Buttons softly. "What now?" he asked teasingly.

Buttons felt a shiver move through him, glancing to make sure the laptop wasn't in the way. He shrugged, a bit mischievously, "I may or may not have supplies for some fun, if you're interested...~"

"Oh? What kind of fun?" Finch grinned teasingly.

Buttons hummed, curious, and he moved to kiss Finch gently, hugging the other a little closer, "Pretty sure you're aware of the kind of fun." He smirked a little, kissing the other again.

"I'm a good little Jewish boy, a man of God, I have no idea what you're talking about," Finch teased.

"Pfft," Buttons snickered, his voice dropping lower. "When we got together it's 'cause you were getting off on me in the shower~." He moved to kiss Finch's neck, lightly nipping on the skin.

"W-well, I'm also half Spanish, must be where my lack of shame comes from," he joked. Certainly untrue, told by the blush on his face.

Buttons snickered, "You wanna test that?" He shifted, nuzzling a little lower, scraping his teeth against what he knew was sensitive skin.

Finch made a small whine, leaning his head away a little to give him more room.

Buttons hummed, and... Gosh, he was in a playful mood. He blew a raspberry against the skin, giggling as he picked up Finch and turned, laying the other against the bed with quiet laughter.

"You dork," Finch giggled, holding onto Buttons' waist.

Buttons was beaming, snuggling closer, "Yep." He moved up to kiss Finch happily, "One happy dork that's happily in love." He moved his hands to either side of Finch's head, palms on the bed, "Also one happy dork that has his boyfriend pinned to a bed~."

"What's that make me, huh? Just a boyfriend pinned to a bed?" Finch winked, a grin on his face, looking just as taken with him.

"How about a cute, adorable, artistic and amazingly talented boyfriend that's pinned to a bed?" Buttons hummed.

"Unrealistic," Finch deadpanned, snorting softly.

"Very realistic," Buttons said with a smile, kissing Finch again. "I love you~."

"I love 

," Finch grinned happily, kissing him back sweetly.

"I love 

 Buttons giggled, kissing his nose. "I love you so so so so much~," Buttons hummed, shifting a bit to straddle the other.

"Stop takin' the words outta my mouth," Finch teased, pulling Buttons down to kiss him again. "It's rude~"

"It's not rude, it's mind-reading," Buttons giggled, leaning into the kiss, feeling so happy, his heart so full of love he was gonna explode.

"Well, ain't it lucky I love you so much~" Finch could say it all night, and it still wouldn't seem like enough.

Buttons gently pressed himself down against the other, his kisses lowering again to Finch's neck, nipping and nuzzling close, "And I love you tons~."

"I could say it a million times and it wouldn't be enough times to tell you how much I love you," Finch said, holding onto him, nuzzling his face against his hair.

"I could scream it to the world but I wouldn't be happy until every star heard me say I love you~," Buttons giggled.

"That's gay, Benny," Finch teased.

"We're gay, Patty," Buttons teased back, moving up to kiss Finch's lips. "Like, real gay."

"Thank god," Finch sighed. "I don't know what I'd do if we were straight. Die, probably."

"Probably," Buttons giggled, nuzzling closer. He was really teetering on the edge of being horny and just flopping on the other in cuddles. So he did just lay on the other in cuddles. For now~!

Finch squeezed his arms around him, kissing his forehead. "God, imagine telling that scared little boy running away from home that this is where he'd end up..." he said softly. "Holding the cutest boy in the world, so happy and full of love~"

Buttons squeaked like a squeak toy, giggling as he nuzzled closer. "Sometimes the bravest people get the nicest things~," He praised.

Finch wondered how he'd react if he knew exactly what he'd been through, and was almost tempted to tell him. He didn't want to ruin the moment though, and decided against it. "Yeah... I guess I'm just a lucky guy," he murmured, leaning forward to kiss Buttons softly.

Buttons noticed the look. "Hey, you wanna hear a secret?" He said softly.

"Sure, what is it?" Finch asked curiously.

"I lived in Cali, for like, a really long time~," Buttons giggled, mimicking a Cali girl's accent. He shifted, going to normal, "A fire ate our house. It was just me and Ed and Jan. We were homeless for a bit, then we inherited this place... Still poor, but not homeless." He smiled softly, "I barely remember it, but my family calls it the Dark Ages of our history."

"Damn, must've been scary... At least I didn't have to worry 'bout anyone but myself," Finch said, implying that he too had been homeless.

Buttons hugged Finch closer, "I'm just... Trying to say I know some of it. I clearly don't know everything and you don't gotta tell me everything. I love you, okay?"

"Yeah..." Finch pressed his forehead softly to Buttons. He sighed softly, working his hand into Buttons' hair. "And it's not that I don't wanna tell you, I just... it's not the funnest story, ya know? Don't wanna bring the mood down."

"Up to you. I think the mood right now is cuddles and love," Buttons hummed, relaxed on top of the other. He relaxed with the pets, keeping close.

"I will one day, alright?" Finch promised, kissing him softly.

"Alright," Buttons hummed, leaning into the kiss. He nuzzled close, wanting to comfort the other.

Finch closed his eyes with a soft sigh, happy to just be here with him. "You're warm," he mumbled.

"You're cozy," Buttons murmured, relaxing. "Get to cuddle a cute pretty boy in my bed," He hummed happily, eyes closing.

"You're the cute pretty boy," Finch murmured, snuggling him closer.

"No you are," Buttons hummed, kissing Finch's cheek.

"You are, no take backs," Finch giggled softly. He was already starting to doze off.

"Okay, but you are too," Buttons said, his words barely above a whisper. "G'night, babe..."

"G'nigh," Finch mumbled back, falling asleep in the warm coziness of his boyfriend.

-

Buttons woke up around 9:30, trying to ignore the sun in his eyes. He shifted very slightly, resting in the crook of Finch's neck, relaxed.

"Mornin'," Finch mumbled, having been stirring from sleep for the last few minutes.

Buttons just hummed in response, slowly curling his arms around Finch more. He realized why he'd felt so sluggish for the past few mornings- Finch wasn't there. He cuddled more into the other, happy that he was with Finch now.

Finch pressed a soft, sleepy kiss to his forehead. He had an idea of a cute animation bit of this- ohhh he had ideas for a few cute animations and he'd put so many hearts people would choke on it.

 Buttons smiled, blushing a little. He moved to kiss Finch's lips sleepily, imagining waking up like this every morning and just melting from that.

"What a lovely wake up call~" Finch teased, his voice a little rough from sleep, his hair sticking up in every direction messily.

Buttons hummed softly, "Mhm." He kissed Finch's cheek, moving off of/away from the other and sitting up, stretching and cracking his joints.

Finch tried to pat his bedhead down as he sat up, yawning. Uh oh, how'd he get here? He was now wrapped against Buttons' waist, his chin resting on his shoulder. Mmm, he didn't mind.

"Hum~?" Buttons moved an arm around Finch's shoulders, cuddling the other closer, "Why, hello." He gently kissed Finch's forehead, relaxed.

"Hi~" Finch smiled sleepily, blushing a little because he was just... very happy, very warm, very gay.

Buttons saw the blush, shifting to kiss Finch's lips happily. Very warm. Very gay. Much cuddle.

"Ugh, you're gonna kill me, I'm not emotionally ready for you to be kissing me so sweetly," Finch whined.

"Sh, let me revel in my morning breath not killing you," Buttons teased, going to kiss Finch again, tongue swiping against the other's lips.

"See, that's how much I love you, I don't even care that your breath stinks," Finch giggled.

Buttons laughed. "Well." He kissed Finch's nose, "Then let me go take care of that." He got up, getting a change of clothes, "Most of the rooms up here are bedrooms, first floor is anything you want it to be. Don't be afraid to come join me in the shower~." He winked, tiredly moving out of the room.

Finch sat there for about maybe half a second before getting his own change of clothes and followed him. I mean, what better way to wake up than a shower, and it would only be saving water!

Max was already downstairs, a bagel in the toaster. They looked over at Finch, rolling their eyes and shaking their head softly as they waited. Hm.

Hm. Finch just quietly leaned against the wall as he waited for Buttons, having a feeling Max knew what they'd been doing upstairs.

Yes. Max definitely knew. As they got their bagel, they looked at Finch with a raised eyebrow, "I'd appreciate it if you two left your orgasms away from where I shower." They snickered a bit, then paused- "Oh, the manorah. It's in the garage. Didn't crack at all, so it should be good for painting."

Finch flushed, giving him a small shamed salute, "Cool," he said in a small voice.

Max gave a thumbs up, taking a bite of the bagel- were those raisins? -and headed to the living room. 

Buttons hummed as he came downstairs, blinking when Max stopped him. He nodded, blushing a little, then moved over to Finch. "Well, we weren't quiet," He mumbled, a little embarrassed.

"I know, I thought we'd done at least a fairly good job," Finch blushed, putting his face in Buttons' neck. "Hopefully he's the only one who heard."

Buttons chuckled, keeping close, "Hopefully." He hummed, looking over, "What do you wanna eat~?" He was thinking about the different things they had, humming.

"Whatcha got?" Finch mumbled into his neck.

Buttons shifted, an arm around Finch's waist while the other opened the fridge, "Egg, bread, bacon... more bread in the form of bagel." He chuckled a bit.

"Bacon... Egg.. cheese... 

," Finch said slowly, rising from Buttons' chest dramatically slow.

Buttons snickered, kissing Finch's forehead again before going for the bagels, "Plain or cinnamon raisin?"

"Plain, please~" Finch said, leaning against the counter as he watched. It was cold... "Would you, 

, have hot chocolate we can make?"

Buttons let out a 

 hum, taking out two bagels. He took a breath to continue the hum as he put them into the toaster, going back and taking out the jug of milk. He finally broke the hum, "You want the weird powder stuff or actual chocolate syrup?"

"Hmmmmmm, weird powder stuff 

 chocolate syrup," Finch grinned, rubbing his gay little hands together.

Buttons gasped dramatically, "Oh, that's 

 He moved to get two mugs, pouring the milk into both. "Marshmallows or nah?" He put the milk back, going for the syrup and a packet of powder.

"What kind of man do you take me for, Benjamin. Of course marshmallows," Finch said dramatically

"I take you for a man who likes marshmallows, Patrick," Buttons answered, eyebrows raised as he moved to pour the cold milk from both mugs into a bigger cup, and put that in the microwave.

"Good," Finch grinned, draping himself over Button's shoulders, maybe needing to stand a little bit on his toes to do so.

Buttons crouched a little, giggling.

Finch stayed on him totally not dozing off again until the microwave went off. "Benny, the microwave went off," he said as if it weren't obvious, not moving a muscle.

"You koala," Buttons hummed happily, going to take out the milk. He poured it back into the mugs, putting the respective chocolates in the mugs and stirring. He went for the mallows, humming, "Careful~ It's hot~." He relaxed, happy with Finch.

Finch hummed happily, basking in the warmth of the mug, taking a small sip. "Ow." He blew on it a little and took another sip. Still hot.

"I said careful," Buttons giggled, kissing Finch's head. 

Buttons didn't notice how his mother was by the doorway, smiling softly and watching her son just being happy in love.

"But it's so good," Finch pouted, taking another sip and ignoring his burning taste buds, not noticing her either. He jumped a little bit as the toaster went off, but managed not to spill the hot chocolate. He pressed a kiss to Buttons' shoulder as he set the mug down to get them. Again, not caring about the hot.

"Babe!" Buttons squeaked, moving to grab Finch gently and pull him back. "Heat, love. 

"Hungry, babe. 

," Finch grinned. "Fire cannot kill a dragon~"

"You're a bird," Buttons snickered, carefully popping out the bagels onto a plate. "You want any butter or cream cheese?"

"Crem chez," Finch giggled, snuggling into his back. "And of course I'm a bird, thaz why dey calls me Finch~"

"I thouz dey callz ya Finch cuz you sing like a preddy birdie~," Buttons hummed, going to get the cream cheese and putting it carefully on the bagel. He perked up when his mom laughed softly, blushing. His mom hummed, going to make a mug of coffee.

Finch snorted at that, flushing a little when he realized she was there. "Good morning, ma'am," he said quietly, still a little shy around her.

The woman laughed a little, "Jess is fine, dear." 

Buttons handed Finch the bagel, kissing his forehead anyway. She seemed to soften at that, happy that her son was happy.

Finch nodded softly, taking the bagel happily, taking a bite.

She hummed, "I'm going out today with your father. Don't burn the house down." 

Jess moved to kiss Button's cheek, and he smiled a little, "Have fun." 

"Thanks," She hummed, getting the cup and moving off.

Finch waved, leaning back against Buttons as he ate his bagel. "We gonna have a cook day?" he asked.

"Yup," Buttons beamed. He put some cream cheese on his bagel, taking a bite and sipping happily from his mug. Hot chocolate and bagels.

Finch finished one half of the bagel when he remembered. "Oh, yeah!" He ran out to the garage with no further explanation. 

He picked up the menorah carefully, happily checking over it.

"Hum?" Buttons just let the other run off, continuing to eat his breakfast. He shifted to see what ingredients they had, a bit worried they might not have everything.

Finch was quite happy with it, and the dreidels had turned out pretty good as well. He left them there, already thinking of the colors he'd paint them. "They turned out great!" he said happily as he came back into the kitchen.

Buttons smiled, "That's good! So then maybe while things are cooking we can paint? Is there any baking involved?" He looked over, eyebrow raised.

"Latkes will be quick to make, I think it's literally just prep and mix the ingredients and then fry them. Donuts are a little longer to make the dough, but cook quickly once thats done. Overall, prolly would only take... two hours roughly? Well, actually less if we're workin' together and doing them at the same time." Finch explained, pulling up recipes on his phone. "Then we'd be done, and we can paint," he smiled happily.

"Alright... Frier." He reached down, pulling out the long rectangular frier. He set it on the counter, taking the basket out, and making sure it was clean before pouring in the oil. He hummed, plugging it in and covering it up so it would be ready to use later. "Alright, explain away~."

Finch nodded, reading over the instructions of both. "Yeah, we have to leave the dough out to rise for an hour, so it would be best to do that first."In a small bowl, combine the yeast, 1 tablespoon flour, 1 tablespoon sugar, and water. Mix well, cover, and allow to rest until the mixture becomes foamy," he read aloud. "In another large bowl, mix the remaining 3 cups of flour with the melted margarine, salt, remaining sugar, and the egg yolks."

Buttons was grabbing ingredients, putting them up, "Alright, uh... Do we need the same stuff for other things?"

"For the latkes, its shredded potatos, grated onion, eggs, flour, salt, and peanut oil," Finch read. "Oh, and jelly and powdered sugar for the donut filling and topping."

"Oh boy," Buttons laughed, looking around. "I'll do my best."

Finch grinned at him, "Do we need ta go to the store for anything?"

"Uhhhhh I don't 

 so...?" Buttons pulled out the potatoes and onions.

"Okay, cool," Finch beamed, rolling up his sleeves. He set the phone in between them on the counter, looking around. "Measuring cups..."

"Cabinet right of the oven," Buttons answered, bringing things over.

Finch went and grabbed the cups, getting a couple bowls down too. "Gotta melt the butter down," he said to Buttons. "A fourth of a cup." He started reading the directions again, following them as he measured out a small amount of flour and sugar, double checking this was right.  Yeah, the rest went in the other bowl.

Buttons went to cut the butter, putting it in a bowl and popping it in the microwave in intervals, not wanting it to explodé.

Finch stuck his tongue out a little in focus, making sure it was all measured and mixed right before he covered it to rest a little while he measured out the mixture for the larger bowl.

Buttons moved to bring the butter, helping measure and mix where he could. He was enjoying helping, following with a hum.

Finch smiled at him. This was nice, and quite peaceful. The house itself was quiet,  although he could hear some commotion that sounded like playing outside. He'd already managed to get flour on his shirt and a little on his face, but that was okay.

As they continued, Buttons noticed the flour on his love's face. He got a rag and licked it, and when Finch wasn't paying attention he moved to scrub the flour off before setting the rag down and continuing in what he was doing, humming softly.

"Gross, cooties," Finch teased jokingly, glancing at him as he whisked the mixture.

Buttons rolled his eyes, "Oh, yeah, 'course. You're infected now."

Finch giggled, huffing as he kept whisking. "You know, I just realized that this has to turn from a liquid to a solid."

"So how much mixing do we gotta go?" Buttons said with wide eyes.

Finch looked down at the bowl. "I realize now that usually a mixer would be used for this. Do you have one by any chance?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhh....." Buttons moved around, trying to find it, and he eventually did... Oh jeez. He started climbing the counter, standing on top as he got it, putting it on to the sink. He moved down carefully, but of course he slipped. He yelped, crashing to the floor, thankfully only falling on his side. "Ow..." He mumbled.

Finch yelped, quickly setting the bowl on the counter and kneeling beside him. "Are you okay??" he asked worriedly, carefully helping him sit up.

"Yeah, all good," He managed, laughing a little in disbelief. "Usually I don't fall over," He managed, rubbing his arm. "Oof..." He looked at Finch, "I'm good."

"Are you sure?" Finch asked, clearly disbelieving that he was really all okay.

"Yeah, yeah... Hold on." He gently nudged Finch away, stretching out his arm and rolling it around, then bending his joints, making sure his shoulder and elbow were okay. He nodded, "Yeah, all good, just sore." He chuckled, "Body fat really out here saving my bones." He gently moved closer to Finch again, "I'm good."

"Should I kiss it better?" Finch said a little cheekily after making sure he really was okay.

Buttons blinked. He held out his arm, "My bownes weally wurt, dey's needin' twu wuv's kiss."

Finch snorted, taking his wrist tenderly and pressing small kisses up his forearm before looking at him, still holding his wrist loosely. "Anywhere else?" he said with a cheeky grin that had his mother seen, would think he looked just like his father.

"How about here?" Buttons said softly, pointing at his lips.

"Oh, of course, it's dangerous to let those go unkissed~" Finch teased as he pulled Buttons forward a little while leaning in himself, kissing him tenderly.

Buttons hummed happily in the kiss, moving his arms around Finch's shoulders and pulling the other in for a bit of a longer kiss.

Finch hummed, leaning in a little more into him, deepening it a little. 

Junior just wanted a snack. Just a snack, not a scar for life. He ran into the kitchen, not expecting, of course, to see his older brother making out on the floor with his boyfriend. "Eeeewww, gross!" he shouted, covering his eyes maybe peeking. 

Amy snorted behind him, "Do I ever want to know how you two ended up there?" 

Finch had pulled away from him, flushing a little as he stood up quickly and helped Buttons up, "He, uh, he fell, I was helping him up." 

"I've never helped anyone up like that before," Amy chuckled, going to the fridge with raised eyebrows. 

"Do you guys always kiss?" Junior asked, wrinkling his nose.

Buttons 

 blushing bright red and still leaning into Finch. He managed to stand with the other, letting go carefully, and glaring a bit at Amy. He looked back at Junior, "Yeah. People kiss people that they love." He was calming down, trying to ignore his burning blush.

"Someone at my school got in trouble cause he was kissing a girl," Junior said, taking the applesauce Amy handed to him. 

You could almost see the struggle on Finch's face not to say "cause being straight is illegal" as a joke. Amy looked like she might be holding back a retort of her own.

"Well, that's not fair," Buttons answered, "Unless the guy or the girl were already with someone. Or they were supposed to be in class." He smiled a bit.

"He was playing a joke on her I think..." June looked confused for a second as he thought of something. "Wait, but I love Mom and Dad but I don't kiss them?"

"Well, you kiss their cheeks- but you save lip kisses for people you're thinking about marrying-" oh. "-I MEAN. AS IN. SPENDING YOUR LIFE WITH THEM- I MEAN... Yeah I'm not making this any better," He muttered, head down in defeat.

"Oooohhh, okay!" Junior seemed content with that. "I'm gonna play Sims now." He took his snack and walked out.

"Well, you two seem busy enough in here," Amy said, a knowing look on her face as she too walked out. 

Finch looked back at Buttons with raised eyebrows. "What was that you were saying?" he teased, leaning into him. "What, you havin' some ideas in that brain a your's?"

Buttons nodded, huffing at Amy, and then turning bright red. "I been having ideas, Finch. Don't get too excited about them, they ain't for a long while," He huffed, gently nudging the other, seriously trying to calm down his blush. He whined, putting his face in his hands. Stupid Jan.

Finch giggled, nudging one of Buttons' hands away with his nose to kiss his cheek. Weirdly enough, he wasn't bothered by the idea. The idea of spending the rest of his life like this... it was tempting, really.

Buttons blinked, shifting to kiss Finch gently. "One day," He murmured.

"I wouldn't mind that," Finch murmured softly back, staying where he was for a moment before kissing his cheek once more before going back to start the mixer up.

Buttons' eyes lit up at that, and smiled a bit as Finch moved off. He was just standing there stunned, watching the other happily. "Have I told you how much I love you?" He hummed, head tilting to the side.

"I believe you might have mentioned it once or twice," Finch giggled, glancing back at him. "I might need help figuring out how to use this, by the way."

"Oh fuck-" Buttons laughed, going over to set it up.

Finch helped the best he could, and after a... couple minutes, it was running smoothly and mixing the batter. And soon it was turning into a dough. "Had I done that by hand, I would have been absolutely jacked by the end," he giggled.

"Yeah, you could be using your hand for something else," He smirked.

"Gross, gutter-brain," Finch snickered, pushing him lightly. When the mixture was looking doughy, he got the dough off the whisk and covered it with a towel, setting it to the side to prove. "Well, that's there for about two hours, so wanna make the latkes?"

"Sure~," Buttons hummed, going to set up the next stuff.

"Potatos, eggs, flour, salt, mix em together and thats it, ya just just fry em after that."

"Alright," Buttons said, starting to pour things in.

Finch leaned against him, helping where he could but maybe just kinda cuddling him.

Buttons enjoyed the cuddles, blinking as he uncovered the frier. He put things in the basket, moving it into the frier and covering it again. "How long do we wait?"

"Doesn't say... Prolly gotta watch 'em, just said turn 'em when they're golden brown," Finch said.

"Alright... I guess," Buttons murmured. He took the basket out and turned things over before putting it back.

Finch nuzzled into him. watching and directing him to the shaping of them, happy and warm.

Buttons followed, humming along. By the end, they had a nice plate of them. "What should I do with these?" He hummed.

"Let 'em cool, nom nom yam-aka," Finch giggled.

He rolled his eyes, setting them in the microwave. "Y'think the dough's done? How long did that take?"

"Like... 30 minutes. So we got a while longer," Finch murmured, still nuzzling him.

Buttons turned, wrapping his arms around Finch and nuzzling him closer, humming softly.

"Wanna paints the dreidels?" Finch suggested.

"Alrighty," He murmured, kissing Finch's forehead, moving with the other but still keeping an arm around his waist.

Finch led him along to the garage. He took the slightly wonky one, hiding it in his hand and pushing the other (slightly better) one to Buttons. "See, they turned out great!" (Not pointing out that he'd given Buttons the one that he'd made, of course.)

"Finch," Buttons said, deadpan, "I'm not dumb. The one I made had an indent right there."

Finch clicked his tongue, putting Buttons' back on the table. "Yours is still good too," he said with a smile.

Buttons looked at his, beaming, "Fuck, it came out better than I thought it would." He went to try to spin it, and it was a little sloppy, but it worked!!

Finch beamed, going to find the paints. He did after a few moments, bringing the bin over and setting it down on the table between them.

"Alright, you gotta teach me what to paint," Buttons giggled.

"I can shows ya, but I'm gonna paint mine first~" Finch grabbed the blue, getting one of the brushes and starting to paint one side of it. "Once it dries, we can paint the symbols and the top on."

"Alright." Buttons copied, painting his as well.

Once he'd painted the sides, he watched Buttons, blowing on it to dry faster.

Buttons waved his gently in the air to dry it off, humming softly. He then went and painted a stripe of blue on Finch's cheek.

Finch squinted, slowly leaned in, took Buttons face... and he kissed him sweetly. Then while he was distracted, did a quick two dots and a curve to paint a smiley face on his cheek.

Buttons blinked, and then melted into the kiss a bit. He giggled, looking over in a mirror at the smiley. "Y'know what, that's fair," He laughed.

Finch laughed softly, grabbing his chin to turn his head a little, painting a little heart on his other cheek.

Buttons hummed, letting Finch do as he pleased. He looked in the mirror again, gasping. "Oh no. My reputation!!"

"Oh, and what reputation is that, hah?" Finch asked, kissing his lips softly since his cheeks now had paint on them.

"Me being a big tough button," Buttons pouted.

"Aw, poor babe," Finch giggled. "Everyone already knows you're a big softie~" He poked his cheek where it wasn't painted.

Buttons puffed out his cheeks, then giggled and went to normal, kissing Finch, "Whoopsies~."

Finch giggled, then turned his head back to the dreidel in his hand. He tested it, and the paint was dried. So he set it down to pull up the symbols on his phone, figuring he would go ahead and explain the game while they was painting, but he grabbed the silver paint first.

Buttons listened to the explanation, following along and asking questions where he was confused. He looked excited to be playing the new game, almost buzzing in place.

"Ya got the coins, or sometimes, like my family did it, we'd use some sorta candy like M&Ms or somethin', and ya give everyone an equal amount, we usually agreed on seven each," Finch explained as he found smaller brushes for them, handing one to Buttons. "This one," he gestured to the symbol on the phone as he started carefully painting it on one of the sides, "Is Nun. Easy 'nough to remember, nun does nothin', if ya roll it, you just pass to the next player."

Buttons quickly realized they were going to have to expose Finch to the Candy Shelf. He tried to hide the slight panic as he focused.

"Gimmel," Finch explained, too focused to notice, "means ya 'get'. Land on this and you take the whole middle pot, and everyone else has ta put two coins in to make a new pot."

Buttons nodded again, humming.

"Hey is half, so ya take half the pot." Finch paused to finish the symbol before continuing. "And Shin is share, so you'd put two coins in the pot."

"Alright, that all makes sense," Buttons hummed, trying to think. "Are you allergic to anything?"

"Nope," Finch said as he finished painting the top of the dreidel silver before blowing it.

"Phew," Buttons murmured, following all the symbols as he painted them on. "I may or may not have a sacred thing to show you in the kitchen."

Finch looked up at that, "And what's that?"

"It may or may not include something to play this game with," Buttons said casually, blowing on his dreidel to dry it off.

Finch was intrigued. He touched the paint, dry. He spun it, and it twirled for a good moment before it landed. "Gimmel, I take the pot~"

"If you eat all the candy, I think my family will throw me out of the house," Buttons giggled, kissing Finch's nose before motioning for the other to follow him back to the kitchen. He'd completely forgotten about the paint on his face.

Finch snickered, following him. "That's alright, I already took my prize this mornin'," he teased.

Buttons gasped, looking offended, "But don't you want it every morning??"

"Every mornin' sounds nice~" Finch grinned.

Buttons smiled, moving to kiss Finch gently before going to the cabinet. With a dramatic, shakey hand, he opened it and pointed to the top shelf. ... That's a lot of candy. Who needs that many different types of M&Ms???

“Oh my god,” Finch snickered. “It’s a whole treasure trove! Ya got that marked on a map somewhere?”

"Come over for Easter," Buttons answered ominously.

"What's Easter?" Finch joked, putting an arm around him. "I bet it's insane with all a that chocolate."

"Oh gosh it's fun," Buttons giggled.

"I just know that when the egg bunnies come out, means chocolate's on sale soon," Finch snickered.

"No, it means you get to run around collecting eggs and get 

 chocolate," Buttons clarified.

"I'm a Jew, this holiday isn't for me, therefore I gotta pay ta get in on it," Finch said, nudging him with a grin.

"Sh, I'll sneak you in," Buttons giggled, "Like sneaking people in the movie theater for a free movie."

Finch giggled, leaning into him. "Are there like... rules?" Cause like legitimately other than the commercialized stuff he wasn't sure how it was celebrated.

"Nah, just don't steal the little kid’s candy," Buttons hummed.

"Huh. There's like.. no rituals or nothin'?" Finch asked a little confused. "Ya don't go ta church?"

"Finch, we're not 'go to church every Sunday' Christians, in case you hadn't noticed," Buttons smirked.

"Well yeah, but like most Jewish holidays you'd go ta temple at least once ta pray," Finch said.

Buttons shrugged a bit, "Well, we don't usually go."

"Huh... alright," Finch shrugged. He looked at the time, at the bowl. "We still got a while before that's done so... We could start paintin' the menorah," he suggested.

"Alrighty~," Buttons hummed, following Finch back to the garage.

Finch started working on painting, not realizing he'd started humming softly as he made sure to get in the indents of the swirls.

Buttons watched, cuddled into Finch's back, watching and listening in a soft amazement.

"

" His voice was soft and sweet, his lips barely moving, still looking unaware of what he was doing as his hands moved. "

"

Buttons was melting. Buttons was so in love 

 He snuggled closer, quietly listening, not wanting to break the spell.

"

" Finch had starting riffing Zendaya's lines, realizing what he was doing. He blinked, looking at Buttons shyly. "S-sorry," he said sheepishly, a bit of a blush on his face.

"Don't gotta apologize," Buttons murmured, "Like I said; your voice is beautiful." He was loving listening to the other, snuggled close.

Finch's blush only grew at that, and he was too shy to continue, squirming a little bit in a little bit of embarrassment as if this didn't happen all the time.

Buttons laughed softly, nuzzling into Finch's neck. "C'mon, little bird... You can keep singing~."

Finch squeaked at the nickname, totally red now. "Noooo, it's embarrassing...."

"No it's not~," Buttons cooed, kissing Finch's neck. "It's adorable is what it is, birdie~."

"Stooooopp," Finch whined, getting even more flustered.

"Ooooh," Buttons smirked, kissing again, "I don't wanna stop, little birdie~."

"Anyone who says you're innocent obviously has never been in my position," Finch muttered, trying to paint even with the rising heat.

Buttons snickered, "I'm just a guy who sews." He shifted to actually lick Finch's neck slightly before moving away teasingly, going over to another box on the shelf. He brought it out, setting it on the table, "Speaking of..." He opened it, starting to shuffle through the stuff, curious.

Finch shivered at that, squirming in his seat, glancing at him with a pout before he started painted again.

Buttons froze when he found something. He slowly pulled out a tiny dress, looking at it a bit fondly. "Hey, Finch... When we get our own place, can we get a dog? Maybe a cat, too..." He smiled softly. It was definitely a dog dress.

"I never had a dog before, you'd hafta help me figure out how ta take care of it. But I don't mind," Finch said, looking up.

Buttons looked excited for that, buzzing a bit. "Either we get a dog, or kids." He snickered a bit at that, eyebrow raised towards Finch.

"Why not both?" Finch grinned. "Prolly would hafta wait a while for that one though...." he said a little more seriously. "I wouldn't wanna fuck up a kid..." He looked away, going back to his painting.

"We wouldn't fuck up a kid," Buttons said seriously, pausing in his little search. He looked at Finch, slight concern in his eyes. "'Course we'd wait, there's some stuff I gotta do first." He hid a smirk as he looked down again, "Oh- found it." He pulled out a bracelet from when he dabbled in jewelry. It was a silver band that had beads that looked like they were made from string. He set it on the table, humming as he slid it over to Finch.

Finch glanced up at it, a smile playing at his lips, "What's this?"

"A bracelet," Buttons said matter-of-factly.

"Well, duh, but why're ya givin' it to me?" Finch asked curiously.

"'Cause I want you to wear it," Buttons said softly.

Finch rolled his eyes a little, but slid it onto his wrist. "Happy, you dork?"

"Extremely," Buttons whispered, looking at Finch with a new smile, then covered up the box again and setting it away. He moved over, wrapping his arms around Finch's waist and and cuddling into his back, looking like a Soft Button™.

Finch sighed softly, looking back at him as he leaned back into him. He pressed a soft kiss to his lips, content and happy.

Buttons leaned into the kiss with a soft smile, nuzzling close. He looked over to the Menorah, "It's beautiful."

"Yeah?" Finch asked, looking over at it. "I'll paint the bottom and the Star gold, think it'll go pretty good with the blue and silver. I mean, ya know, Hanukkah colors," he smiled.

"It'll be amazing." He gently kissed Finch's cheek, "I'm gonna go try to bring down the candy and not fall over." He walked back into the house, looking relaxed. 

Jan walked in through the back door a few minutes later, "Oh, hey! Wow, that looks nice." She looked over, whistling. Her eyes went to the bracelet as she watched him paint, and breathed out a soft, "Oh wow... He gave you it..."

Finch looked up, following her gaze to the bracelet. "Yeah, he just slid it over, wouldn't tell me why."

Jan hummed at that, leaning over the table again, "When he was first getting into crafts, he made his own string wefts. He'd buy the little folded things, and wind them into a tight ball. He got the idea to make them into beads, even if it was a big waste of string. He was so proud of the bracelet 'cause it'd taken so long to make each bead." Her gaze fell, "He was in either elementary or middle school, on the edge there. He brought it to school, and someone stole it. Basically, that was his first fist fight. He was so ashamed when Mom came to get him out of detention, but he also realized that he needed to hide precious things. He started keeping a lot of secrets after that. We didn't realize he had a box of sewing things until he went to college." She added the last part with a chuckle, rubbing her legs together. "He hid it, and he swore that he'd never let it go and only let someone he truly loved even see it again. He of course showed us before he hid it away... I've seen him eye the box when he was in other relationships, but he never took the bracelet out for them."

Finch listened in interest, his mouth falling open a little at the last part. He blinked, looking down at the bracelet he wore, fiddling with the beads that baby Buttons had so painstakingly crafted.

Jan chuckled softly, watching. "Yeah... I never expected him to touch the thing, honestly... I thought he forgot about it." She chuckled softly, shifting and standing up again. "Anyways, I'll leave you to painting," She hummed softly, going inside.

Finch smiled softly, reaching his hand up and kissing the bracelet softly before he went back to painting. Within a few more minutes, he'd finished, setting it down and looking over it with a happy grin.

Buttons came back in, humming, the smiley face washed off but the heart still there. He moved over, gasping softly and putting an arm around Finch's waist. "When it dries, we'll light it. Where do you think we should put it?" He looked excited, kissing Finch's cheek before going to find some candles.

"Wherever your mom says is okay. Usually by a window, though," Finch beamed.

"Alright, I know just the spot then," Buttons giggled. He moved to put the metal cups into the slots, and then put the candles into those, not lighting them but letting them sit there. He moved to pick it up like it was glass, being extremely careful with it (and not touching the paint too much) as he brought it into the house. There was a nice high table next to a window with two shelves under it that had books, and there was a white tablecloth over it already. He carefully set it down, smiling a bit and showing Finch.

Finch smiled, his eyes soft as he looked at it. It was almost bittersweet to see something that reminded him so strongly of home. "We'll hafta light six of 'em now, then the seventh when it gets dark."

"Alright... Let's wait until the paint fully dries, I don't wanna mess it up." Buttons moved to Finch's side again, an arm around his love's waist as he kissed Finch's temple happily.

Finch turned, nuzzling into his neck. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you, too," Buttons murmured just as softly, cuddling Finch close, happy with the other.

"Jan told me what this bracelet is, by the way," he said softly, kissing his neck just as lightly.

Buttons shifted, blushing a little, going, "Ah, well that takes away the mystery..." His voice was soft, and he shifted to nuzzle closer gently.

"Wish I had somethin' like that I could give you," Finch sighed, his grip squishing a little tighter on his boyfriend, his best friend, his lover. He wanted something he could give to him.

"You being here is more than enough, Patrick," Buttons said softly, shifting to look at the other, "You just letting me love you, loving me, that's more than I could ever ask for."

Finch couldn't bring himself to pretend he wasn't tearing up at that. He brought one of his hands to Buttons' cheek, holding him softly. "I used ta think I wouldn't find no one," he admitted softly. "That maybe I wasn't meant to have someone like that loving me... You sure proved me wrong."

Buttons smiled a little at that, moving to kiss Finch gently, "Glad I did." He kissed Finch again, holding the other closer, pressing their foreheads together lovingly.

Finch sat happily in his embrace, content to stay there like that forever.

"So, should we check on the dough, or just cuddle on the couch?" Buttons hummed, content in Finch's arms.

"Hmmmm, my heart says cuddle but my mind says check on the dough, otherwise we'll forget about it entirely," Finch murmured.

"Hmmmm what a dilemma," Buttons hummed, gently shifting to kiss Finch lightly. "Well, I feel like there'll be plenty of time for us to cuddle," He said softly, nuzzling against the other. He still couldn't bring himself to move, though.

"Mhm..." Finch hummed back, not moving a muscle and not really intending to.

"Oh jeez, we're gonna stay like this forever, huh?" Buttons mumbled tiredly, feeling warm and cozy even though they were standing. He took a few shuffled steps towards the couch, sitting and pulling Finch to sit on top of him, laying down and pulling Finch close.

"Oh no," Finch murmured, nuzzling into his neck happily.

"A tragedy," Buttons breathed softly, kissing Finch's forehead, "Stuck forever cuddling the love of my life."

"Mmm, doesn't sound too bad, when ya put it like that," Finch said softly, ignoring the way his heart skipped a beat when he called him the love of his life.

"No, it doesn't," Buttons murmured, nuzzling closer and his eyes closing.

Finch hummed happily, burrowing into the crook of love's neck and dozing off quickly. 

-

Amy came downstairs a little bit later to see them curled up. She shook her head softly, chuckling to herself as she took pictures for blackmail (or really cause she knew her mom would think they were cute) went into the kitchen, finding the mess they'd left and a proved dough ready to bake. Jesus, they'd even left the fryer on. She went over, inspecting the scene, and when she found the latkes in the microwave, she figured pretty easily they'd been making donuts. She rolled up her sleeves, going to work, I mean, she wasn't doing anything else anyways. 

Junior came in a little bit later, curious, and started helping, both being quiet as to not wake the sleeping two. When they were done, Amy covered the donuts in a cling film, presented nicely on a plate, before they cleaned up and went back to their rooms.

Buttons had woken up first, but was starting lovingly at Finch. He moved his hand to rub the other's back gently, just lost in thought about how much he loved the other. Having Finch come over had really slammed things into perspective, and he decided right there that he could genuinely spend the rest of his life with this man.

Finch hummed sorta how a cat does when you suddenly touch it while it's dozing, stirring at the movement. He sighed, cuddling deeper into him.

Buttons bit back a laugh, continuing to rub Finch's back softly. He was just laying there, soaking in the affection, loving having the other there with him.

"I wuv you~" Finch murmured happily into his neck, pressing a soft kiss there.

Buttons giggled softly, "I wuv you too~." He was just relaxed and happy, curling Finch a little closer. "I think we passed out," He said quietly, looking around tiredly.

"What time is it?" he asked. "Ah, the dough mighta been sittin' too long..."

"Y'wanna go check on it?" He hummed, gently nudging Finch to sit up.

Finch grumbled at the nudge, but got off of him. He went to the kitche- What. He blinked. Their mess was gone, and there was. The donuts??? All nicely arranged on a plate????? "Wh- did I go crazy or somethin', we didn't finish them, did we?"  he said, bewildered and not considering there were other people in the house.

Buttons got up, going over. "The Fae must'a come," He breathed, "Or my siblings." He snickered a bit, going over, kind of wanting one, but looking at Finch.

"Well....." Finch scooted over to the plate, sneaking one of the donut balls and biting into it. He squeaked as jelly almost dropped down his chin.

Buttons tried very hard. He was really trying. But he moved forwards, licking up Finch's chin. "Oh, that's good," He hummed, going to get a donut ball for himself and popping it into his mouth.

Finch giggled. "I think we did good~ Well, us and whoever finished 'em."

Buttons nodded happily, still chewing since he had literally shoved the whole thing in his mouth.

Finch popped the rest of his in his mouth, humming. He opened the microwave, getting one of the latkes to taste test it too. He nodded in approval with a grin, offering to Buttons.

Buttons made an 'ooo' sound, taking one of the latkes and eating it. "Wow, that's good," He said, doing a happy wiggle.

"Hey, and I bet the paint's dry, so we can light some of the candles now to get ready for when it's night," Finch said, nudging him.

Buttons perked up at that, looking around and grabbing a lighter. He handed it to Finch, nudging the other back, "C'mon, then~!"

Finch was excited, he hadn't been able to actually light a menorah in years. "Light the top candle, that's what we use to light the others."

Buttons blinked, and walked over with the other. He looked at the top candle, lighting it for Finch, looking excited.

Finch took the candle, carefully lighting six of them. "Usually, we'd light them one a night, but it's the seventh night, so when it gets dark we'll light the next one," he explained as he did, setting the candle back on the top. He stepped back and looked at it. Oh. There was a look in his eyes for a moment, of a deep sadness and longing, before he blinked and looked back at Buttons. "Pretty, ain't it?"

Buttons had seen it, and he carefully moved an arm around Finch, "Yeah, it is."

"Well, what trouble are we getting up to now in the meantime, hah?" Finch asked, poking his side.

Buttons looked over at a clock, shrugging, "Looks like it's only 3..." He looked at Finch, poking the other back.

"Hmmmmmmm....." Finch nuzzled back into him. "Then we got a while. Whatchu wanna do~?"

"I dunno, what do you wanna do~?" Buttons hummed, nuzzling back as he curled Finch closer, kissing the other's forehead happily.

Finch hummed. "Cuddle while I work on the animation?"

"Upstairs we go~," Buttons giggled, taking Finch's hand and moving back up to his room. He waited for Finch to settle down with the laptop and drawing tablet before going to settle behind the other again, cuddling into his back happily while scrolling through his phone.

Finch pressed a soft kiss to his forehead before settling down and starting to draw the base sketches.

Buttons was relaxed, just cuddling the other and looking through tumblr. He did make a post- "cuddling bf while he draws. never been more gay in my life."

Finch hummed softly, not thinking about it as he focused on the anatomy of the drawings.

Buttons snorted softly, going to reblog it and adding: 

Buttons smiled softly, kissing Finch's neck before going back to scrolling.

[vesperione]

Please Read This Before Commenting

So, as you can tell, already, this post will not mention TGWDLM until the very end. If some of you are unaware, I headcanon Paul as having Autism. Yes, autism, a very “scary illness caused by vaccinations.” Well, a couple of days ago I got someone commenting “HOW CAN YOU ROLEPLAY SOMEONE NOT ORIGINALLY AUTISTIC, LIKE HOW?” And it really hurt me!  So I posted it on my instagram story (y’all on tumblr its @robertstanion) and I got an overwhelming amount of support. Except one person, who claimed the question was valid. So I told this person that the title of the post clearly includes the word HEADCANON in it, needless to say they are both blocked (to see this post, it’s TGWDLM Headcanons Part 2 and it’s the very first headcanon mentioned that has driven me to write this post) Now. As I’ve already mentioned autism is “a scary illness that is caused by vaccinations.” Well here’s something for you. I’m happily vaccinated and autistic. That’s fucking right, I’m autistic! More specifically, I have Aspergers/Asperger Syndrome. Now here’s the reason I’ve written this post. I would like my currently 351 fans on insta and my 21 fans on tumblr to see how I truly feel. So welcome, here’s an insight of my life. Also, if you want to take this to my dms, feel free, I’ve got over 300 fans I won’t mind losing a few. I’m also writing from experience. 

-

Aspergers! What the fuck is that? Well, it’s one of the most common types of autism. Essentially, autism is a disability and a collective term. My type of autism falls underneath that umbrella term. So, Aspergers. What is that? yes I’ve repeated myself, and that is something common with me. I repeat myself and I stutter, I stumble and I slur. I am one of the gobbiest people you will ever meet with a high profanity and if you couldn’t tell, pretty much every single one of these posts on here and insta have a curse/swear word in it. INCLUDING THIS ONE! Common symptoms are that we have trouble filtering jokes from insults, filtering sarcasm and we take it the wrong way a hella lot. Um, we’re also sensitive to loud sounds and bright lights. And the big one, CHANGE IN ROUTINE! This was when I had to move to high school I was so scared because I am now the only person from that asshole school at my current high school which is brilliant by the way. So yeah, back to primary, this isn’t an exaggeration, I was bullied and I had no friends. Not even joking. Also year 1 (age 5-6) y’all are talking to the lass who threw not 1, not 2 but SEVERAL chairs at the head of the school when I W A S 5. that was also when my mom worked at the school. So anyways, this event occurred a few months after I was diagnosed with Aspergers. I was 4 and like 3/4 when I was diagnosed, And I’ve had this condition for 9 years so I’m pretty experienced. I’ve had it all my life. Wanna know where the signs started? When I was a baby. Common forms of autism also include late development and toilet training. My first word was triangle (i’m a part of the illuminati shhhh) or dad, but I have an ok relationship with my dad, but I prefer to have it known as triangle. Throughout first school I struggled, every day I would have a meltdown. I flat out refused to do the work! These meltdowns consisted of my folding my arms, putting my head down on the table and I just cried. Can’t remember why but I did. And when it was the end of the lesson, I would get up and go to break. I wasn’t punished! Year 7, I refused to do something in drama (I was very self conscious and still am and hate performing in front of groups of people) and I just froze on the spot. Wouldn’t move. So my then-drama teacher took me out and I wouldn’t talk to her. And then we went to student services and they sat me down in Miss Q.s office (Miss Q is such a lad, her and miss BE have been with me since day 1.) Luckily, the only TA i could talk to at my previous school moved up with me and I told her everything. Year 8 I only had 1 meltdown. Year 9,  I’VE HAD NONE MOTHERFUCKERS! Well I kind of did in Maths a week ago becauseIstillfeellikeeveryonehatesme- BUT ANYWAYS i’m ok now. So, me, what comes with Aspergers, here’s what!

-

It is extremely common for people with autism to have depression and anxiety. In fact aspergers is actually an anxiety disorder. This prevents me from being in large crowds for large periods of time because of the noISE and I’m claustraphobic. So, anxiety. It’s common. Now imagine having a panic attack before you go to sleep. Literally as you shut your eyes. If you can’t here’s what it feels like. The room is dark, the only light is usually from the streetlights and occasionally car headlights, but it’s just gone midnight and the streetlights have turned off. The only light now is from your phone. Your eyelids are about to shut so you put your meditation music on to sleep with. You put your phone behind your third pillow exactly and shut your eyes. Suddenly, your breathe gets shallow and your heartrate goes up. A familiar feeling of nausea creeps around the corner immediately making you reach for your water bottle. That’s how it is for me, every night. Now, nausea. I’m emetephobic. Having emetephobia ruins my life. Emetephobia is the phobia for vomit. I can barely even say it out loud so me typing that certain “v” word is huge. This prevents me from watching TV shows and films, even certain music videos, because in case somebody just happens to throw up. Now the last time I threw up was my 8th birthday and I live in fear every day. Just a few weeks ago, this bug had spread to my school and someone legit ONLY HAD TO WALK 4 MORE STEPS TO THE BATHROOM but threw up OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM i mean dude. logic. and as soon as we were told, I was not the same for the last half hour of last period. I probably ingested more perfume that week than I ever have. So. On the topic of phobias, here are some I have:

Emetephobia: vomit Lepidopterophobia: Butterflies & moths (as long as I’m at a distance I’m fine) Arachnophobia: spiders excluding tarantulas they’re cool. 

They’re the main ones. 

-

Now, this part is digusting, feel free to skip. This is something that I’ve only told 6 people. I have a condition called Paralysed Bowel Syndrome. I’ve only met 2 other people with it. PBS legit makes this person SHIT THEMSELF. I was really ill before Christmas and early Jan. Christmas, I couldn’t move I was in agony (i almost threw up thrice that week I was so scared) and in Jan my body just kept trying to make me shit but my brain didn’t want me to. I have these things called ‘Moments’ where my brain literally stops me from shitting and this usually results in me wearing pads I didn’t have a period in February because my stomach’s so messed up. What happens in the end is I legit shit out this massive lump of...welll....shit. And my mum weighs it evERY FUCKING TIME! The day I got better this year was 07.02, my sister’s birthday. To put in  comparison what happened, I got half a bag of sugar lighter that day. But no, this condition sounds stupid but it makes me really ill and I have to take this disgusting medicine when I get bad. There is no cure. 

-

So, that’s me and why those two people really hurt me. But did you know these people also had aspergers?: Obama has a very mild case Albert Einstein Anne Hegerty (was on 2018 I’m A Celeb, British, google her) Chris Packham (ONE OF MY IDOLS-) Susan Boyle Tim Burton (who is born 6 days after me-) -

But also, people with Aspergers need something to live for. In my case, there are several things including Brooklyn Nine Nine, Musicals (specifically TGWDLM) Panic! At The Disco, Starkid, The Vamps, Backstreet Boys, Stephanie Beatriz, Fanfiction, Instagram and memes. This is why people with autism, when they love something, NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT (lowkey one of my best friends and exs is obsessed with sonic the hedgehog and he’s on the spectrum. May or may not have succeeded in getting said friend into Hamilton-) SO yeah! This is why you shouldn’t come to my page and start spreading your shit about this condition I’ve grown to love, hate and understand. Any negative comment makes me feel even worse about myself than I already do, that’s why I took a 3 month break from ao3 because one of my books got so much criticism that I had to take it down and it really upset me. So I beg you, give me advice, tell me if there are certain mistakes but do NOT insult me or aspergers syndrome. Thankyou, J

[sharp-exhale]

What the fuck is this movie?: a brief review on Polar (netflix)

[Beware: Spoilers]

I haven’t done a review on here in a long time, but lately my private reviews have just been essays tearing apart movies i find dissatisfying (which are many). this is (probably) not going to be an objective  or deep review (if much of one at all), and if anyone else has watched it, I’d genuinely love to get your take on what made it work or not [especially since i’m blown away by its 91% rating on rotten tomatoes as of jan. 27, 2019].

Main issues:

who wrote this fucking script? there is no subtext, there is no “show, don’t tell”. everything the characters think is spoken and none of their thoughts are in any way profound or a twist. This is about 70% of my issue with the film because having your characters speak their personality rather than show their personality has made this the most boring watch of 2019. the bad guys aren’t menacing because they monologue like cartoon villains, which is only made worse by the fact that they are in no way clever or an actual threat. everyone that the “villains” have gone against have been helpless, stupid, or both, and they never face a real challenge, yet a pack of them travel everywhere?

(moments i liked in the script/character interactions: big guy earnestly imploring sindy to go and get breakfast after she stabs a dead man 10 times, duncan teaching the elementary school kids and no one batting an eye that he models a dismemberment on a 7 year old volunteer, the actual psychological horror of forced addiction [until i realized that it was never resolved])

every “fight” scene lasted about 5 minutes too long. I don’t need to see duncan threatening to drill a hole through someone’s head to get information. I don’t need to see The Goons Five beating up an old man for information they literally could have opened a drawer to find. I don’t need to see said goons spending a whole goddamn scene trying to strangle (and fail), shoot (and fail) a random obese man and treat him like a spectacle the entire time just for information that (at this point) They Already Have.

on this same topic, ass shots and sex scenes were unbelievably long. i don’t need to follow an ass in booty shorts down an entire hallway. we get it, sindy is hot, and she likes to dress up wherever she goes. We don’t need that reinforced every time she’s on the damn screen. also, why does every sexy character sound as if you made a porno of npc’s: no woman giggles and moans for no goddamn reason when you lift a dumbbell or smile at her in a strip club.

women exist in 3 categories: matronly, young and hot, and the elusive young and traumatized.

the bad guy’s npc goons wear a bad guy uniform. company dress code i guess.

no real qualms with the videography (but i hated how it cut between scenes and the over the top “graphic novel” vibe they tried to force back into the film with the character and location titles)

the first scene of the movie put me off so bad i almost didn’t continue watching it. No human being talks like this, has conversations like this, or interacts with each other like this. zooming into crotch and ass shots couldn’t distract me from it.

50% of the dialogue doesn’t need to exist. Neither do i need to hear the dying groans of 100 guards. The majority of speaking roles contribute nothing to the story and seem only to serve in extending the scene, i.e. that scene with the creepy pervert in the penthouse that wouldn’t shut up or ask an actual useful question in the entire time that he existed.

mads is really putting his all into this role though, i have to admire that.

thank god for jazmin for the brief time she existed. she’s the only character that (mostly) said what she needed to and nothing more. and is one of the four (4) poc in the entire film.

jazmin and duncan’s fancy glove powered machine gun was Choice.

“time to die”. [Blut chuckles]. [Blut throws a tantrum]. “come back!” His every moment on screen was a waste of my time and the film’s time. how did he even get this company? did he inherit it? He’s obviously not a businessman if he’s somehow $29 million in debt. Who is he in debt to? How the hell is a hitman company in debt??

the audio was unmemorable. apparently deadmaus had music in there?

english secretary was very chill and gave me no reason to hate her.

camille’s twist did surprise me somehow despite the heavy handed foreshadowing. Are they going to go hunting for Duncan’s boss now?

i get that the movie is based on a comic, but tons of other movies have the same origin and aren’t so weak in every possible area. you can have comic based movies that don’t feel so generic.

okay, this has turned into less of a review and more of a running disappointed commentary lmao. im done

[derangedroyalfae]

Jan 17, 2019 10PM

Royal (11:37 AM): Nightmare ~a character of mine~...is the fuckey part of my brain...to say the least

The chaotic, nightmarish part of my thoughts where everything goes to derp and hell and probably derp hell

You know...Nightmare was one of my other clues to my own gender identity...

One of those things from my past that I didn’t think of, especially in the moment, and then you look back and think “oh wait...wow, hey...it’s another one of those sign things”

That needs some explanation, huh?

Hummingbird (11:48 AM): just a smidge

Royal (11:56 AM): The Nightmare of C.S.R. AKA Everyone’s Worse Nightmare AKA Nightmare, was this almost incredibly dark OP marysue-esque character that was initially made for crossover and “what if” situations that just got really fuckey and bad. Nightmare has no true universe, but of course allegedly has an incredibly fucked up and tragic and yet so OC cluster fuck backstory. They mainly inserted themself in popular media, things that weren’t my own stories, but eventually made their way into mine and definitely had a lot of interactions with me.

In fact, there’s an ongoing thing that we have a love/hate relationship, where I hate her/them and they/she likes to fuck around with and joke that she’s the only one who can have me. However, there are hints that Nightmare is technically me, or a persona or mockery of me (she wears wigs and color contacts underneath are my natural hair and eye colors, though she somehow has another wig and contacts under that with her original colors, her shoes always change her height to make her look taller than me but she’s actually my height, her chest size etc).

But, Nightmare has more than one form, hence why I’ve switched between her and them, cuz there’s also a male form of Nightmare.

Someone who was allegedly me but very fluid with their gender (but was primarily/by default female)

Hummingbird (11:58 AM): ah kk. I think I get it now

Royal (12:00 PM): I created her back in grade school, they’re an incredibly old character of mine, so even back then I had a representation of myself as both gender, even if it was supposed to be a “me” that I am embarrassed by, ashamed of, and hate

I think in its own weird way, it counts as a hint

There was a big phase in my life where I was very attached to Nightmare and was almost inseparable to them, they had so much going on and invaded so many drawings and thoughts. They were...important in their own way. So it’s not just like “oh this oc I had once that was Me was fluid.” It’s something I invested a lot into.

Their sexuality was pretty on par to mine too...

It’s just something I never thought about, because I was so young I wasn’t even considering my own sexuality at that time, let alone gender

Psychologically analyzes self

(12:33 PM): I’m thinking of bleaching my own roots, since I can’t exactly afford the luxury of a professional

Hummingbird (12:59 PM): sorry I just got back to my desk

Royal (1:05 PM): You is good

So I totally got away with wear size 10 or so men’s boots today

I just put my comfort insert things in and little socks at the toes and there was any big problems

Kitty (3:26 PM): I can help with the hair dye. I've helped Lapis do hers before ^-^

my hands were blue for a couple days, but it was worth it, lol

Royal (6:07 PM): Why didn’t you wear gloves???

Sorry I was so quiet, both Nurd is super sick (my ma took him to the hospital) and I was doing that project that I wanted the eyepatch for

Kitty (6:08 PM): I did, the hair products dissolved them 

Royal (6:08 PM): He thinks he has food poisoning, but I think it might be something more like a flu

Kitty (6:08 PM): Does he have a fever?

Royal (6:34 PM): Don’t know

But 

Hummingbird (6:34 PM): oh. I hope he is ok

Royal (7:08 PM): So like, Bunny is cane to me like “can I speak candidly to you” and goes off on this tirade about how she thinks I should talk to Nurd about not doing this wait since it’s apparently a 2-3hr wait and the bathrooms are closed and there’s no where to sit etc. and how there’s usually nothing hospitals can do for food poisoning or for flu (??? What???) and I’m like “so you want me to call him up and convince him to come home?” And eventually she was like “don’t bother” kind of thing and then as she walked away was like “is there a reason you didn’t go with them?” And I responded with the truth that I was doing something, but to be fair, it’s not like I expect Nurd to come with me for every single one of my appointments

But do you guys agree with there being “nothing they can do” in regards to food poisoning or flu? Like, they stick an IV in him to help him hydrate, that’s something and helpful (at least for me it was) but she’s acting like it’s a waste of time

Kitty (7:10 PM): They could induce vomiting or give him activated charcoal

Royal (7:10 PM): He is vomiting up a storm already

Kitty (7:10 PM): That's probably a good thing, if it's food poisoning(edited)

Royal (7:10 PM): He’s vomiting just from drinking water

Also, what was she suspecting with her question as to why I didn’t go???

Cuz she come back when I hadn’t answered right away, hand propped up in the door way like she caught me in my bs or something

Sorry, I digress. Do you think I should do something? Like, my ma didn’t talk to me about what’s going on, but clearly she said something to Bunny...

Alright, I called my ma and it’s just Bunny being...Bunny

And now Bunny’s texting me 

Doesn’t she ever get tired of this cycle? Been the same damn thing for the last 20 years. She throws a fit or starts something or goes out of line and then response with “I’m sorry, I know I came off as bad” shpeal and it just gets so old

Like I can appreciate someone owning up and apologizing, but when it’s this damn frequent it’s like “don’t even bother apologizing”

Hummingbird (7:17 PM): Yeah... She seems like she is just looking for trouble

Royal(7:18 PM): Like, when she talked to me, I was like “did mom say something in regards to her thinking he shouldn’t wait” and she just dodged around and when I asked if mom tried talking to him, Bunny said Nurd is just being his overdramatic difficult self

Like, Nurd tends to listen to my mom’s advice

Kitty (7:22 PM): She's just mad that she's not the one getting attention right now

Hummingbird (7:22 PM): That or she is try to make drama where there isn't any

Royal (7:23 PM): She is like “if it’s a big enough deal that he’s in emergency room, you should be there, not mom, she’s not his girlfriend”

I honestly thought they were just going to urgent care, not the emergency room

Royal (8:01 PM): Woooooooooooooooow

Hummingbird (8:02 PM): yeah.. wow

[hallelujuh]

shay’s favorite tv shows from 2017

this has been in my drafts for.... nine months.... fuck.

Written in December 2017, updates are from September 2018.

Considering how many new, innovative shows are around these days, I didn’t get too adventurous this year, but I’m satisfied with the ones I did watch. I discovered new shows, I was impressed by the shows I’ve been following for years, and I learned to appreciate the work that goes into television more. Here’s my top ten TV shows..

10. Thirteen Reasons Why - In all honestly, this is only here because I haven’t been able to watch Peaky Blinders yet, and it’s probably too late. (UPDATE: Watched it in Jan and it was amazing.) This show received a lot of backlash, and for good reason, although it had its moments. The characters were well-written, the relationships were given depth that is often lacking in other high school-set narratives, and the tone was great. I’ve always loved watching things that make me profoundly sad, and this show did just that. (UPDATE: Season 2 was fucking garbage lmao.)

Standout episode: Tape 1, Side B. It’s a cripplingly depressing show, but this episode stood out as a moment of light in Hannah’s dark reality. Her friendship with Jessica and Alex was nice in the beginning - their banter, them having a spot in the coffee shop. I remember assuming Alex was gay (I believe his actor is, so I wasn’t too off) and thinking that’d be good for Hannah, to have a guy friend who wasn’t interested in her and wouldn’t add relationship drama to her life. Boy, was I wrong. Still, having seen the show at the beginning of the year, this episode is the only one I remember as enjoying, so it gets this spot.

9. A Series of Unfortunate Events - I read the books in elementary school, and they’re one of my favorite series of all time. I’m also a huge fan of the film, though I know most aren’t. So I was very excited for this series, and it didn’t completely disappoint. While I found myself longing for the actors from the 2004 motion picture, and some of the directing decisions weren’t choice, it was cool to see The Miserable Mill finally come to life, and I loved the Baudelaires just as much here as anyone else. I’ll be tuning in to next season, since I’ve very, very excited to see how they handle the next three books. I can’t wait to meet the Quagmire triplets, and Esme, and Jacques! It’ll be awesome. I hope they portray it well, but there’s no film to compare it to from here on out, so maybe it’ll be different.

Standout episode: The Reptile Room: Part One/Two. Like I said, I wasn’t a huge fan of how most of the characters were portrayed in this adaption, but I did love Uncle Monty. He was just as wonderful as he was in the film and books. Watching his interactions with the kids was really nice, and as always, made me wish they could’ve remained with him. Stephano wasn’t as menacing here as he is in the film (that knife scene is the point in the film where you go, “woah, this dude’s for real. he’s scary”), which was a bummer because I still thought Olaf was a laughably bad and incompetent villain by the finale, but I did like Poe’s hysteria, and I really loved the movie theatre scene.

8. Riverdale - Oops I never wrote this dfdsbfjdbfjds.

7. South Park - While we all can agree the last season was a mess, and this one was only a slight improvement, it did have it’s moments. I’ve been a fan for five years now, so at this point, they’ll never disappoint me, tbfh. 

Standout episode: Doubling Down. While Put it Down was wonderful, both satirically and because of Craig and Tweek’s adorable relationship, the eighth episode of the season was my personal favorite (UPDATE: Not sure why ‘cause I didn’t specify then and I’m not sure now.)

6. Dear White People - I didn’t do this one either damn. 

Standout Episode: Chapter V. While the show is a comedic take on racial relations, this episode is an emotional, serious change. The Barry Jenkins-directed episode shows us that the subject is no laughing matter, and it very clearly deserves this spot.

5. Rick and Morty - Yet another show I discovered this year, during the summer. I’d been meaning to watch it for ages, and I finally got around to it. While the fanbase is pretty much poison, the show is pretty damn good. Maybe not what it’s hyped up to be, but great none-the-less. I’m a big fan of adult cartoons, and RaM isn’t entirely satirical like South Park, and it’s not self-aware like BoJack, but it holds up. It’s probably so popular because of how unique it is.

Standout episode: The Ricklantis Mixup. While my personal favorite of Season 3 was The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy, because I adore Jerry, I think we can all agree that the was the best episode of the season, if not the series. Like, really. Holy shit.

4. Gotham - I began watching this show last year, and caught up to season three around halfway through it. It began to drag a bit, admittedly, like it couldn’t carry it’s own weight - but now the show’s on season four, and it gets a little wild sometimes, but it’s holding quite a bit better, I’d say. I was pretty fucking impressed, especially with the Nygmobblepot stuff.

Standout episode: A Dark Knight: Queen Takes Knight. Although Mad City: The Gentle Art of Making Enemies from Season 3 is a close runner-up, for all the loose ends it ties up, and so cleanly, too - the winter finale gets this spot. It had me on the edge of my metaphorical seat (since I was actually curled up in bed) the entire time. While Sophia’s character and her motivations had remained muddy since her introduction, her badassery finally came to the forefront, and it was awesome. The way she tore down Penguin from his throne? Incredible. We know he’ll return, as he has so many times, but really, that was so incredible. Considering he’s my favorite character, I should feel worse. However, Sophia executed her plan so well, I was too awed to hate her. Also, Jerome’s back! I’m extremely excited to see Jerome’s role in the upcoming episodes. (Update: Oh, honey, you got a big storm coming...)

3. BoJack Horseman - I binged the hell out of this show just before season four came out, because it was so creative and thought-provoking and hilariously depressing. The fourth season was notably wonderful in a lot of ways, particularly because of Todd’s sexuality arc (the first out asexual character in a TV show!) and how well it was handled, but also because of the mature themes they took on. Princess Carolyn’s miscarriages, Diane and Mr. PB’s failing marriage, BoJack’s struggle to forgive his mother, Beatrice’s own troubled upbringing, Hollyhock’s eating disorder. I watched the whole season in three days when it was first released, four months ago, and I’m currently considering re-watching it after rereading the summaries of each episode to refresh my memory. I’d forgotten how phenomenal it was. It’s on another level - it really is.

Standout episode: Time’s Arrow. Though there wasn’t a single weak episode this season, this one definitely stood out. Following the tradition of uniquely depressing eleventh episodes, Time’s Arrow focuses on BoJack’s mother and how her turbulent childhood affected her. Gorgeously executed, it makes us pity the woman who made our favorite alcoholic horse the way he is, and it concludes with BoJack making peace with his mother, who he had spent so long resenting. It’s just a gorgeous episode. I think I’m going to rewatch it right now, haha.

2. Mr. Robot - I’ve wanted to watch this show since it came out, but I finally began and finished the first two seasons just weeks before Season 3 came out. Since I’m discussing my favorites of 2017, I won’t be talking about those first two seasons here. I’ll be focusing on Season 3, which has been, in my opinion, incredible. What began as a modern, nerdy take on Fight Club has become so much more; a masterfully dark and suspenseful fictionalized look at the looming political state of our world. We’ve gotten new characters (Irving, who’s a gem), we’ve learned more about older but mysterious characters (poor repressed Dom), we’ve had to say goodbye to old characters (I’m still mad about ******), and best of all, this season has been Tyrell heavy, and we even got to see Elliot make peace with Mr. Robot.

Standout episode: S3/EP8, eps3.7_dont-delete-me.ko - The previous episode had already established a gorgeously melancholy setting through the use of Mac Quayle's gorgeous production 2.0_6-madame3xecutioner.oga, which, as a huge fan of film scores, I instantly fell in love with. The song is featured during a scene I watched several times - the scene when Angela repeatedly rewinds the explosion, unable to cope with the reality of it. It left me feeling similar to the way I had after watching American Beauty for the first time - like the world was a different shade. I thought this would be the only moment the show could invoke that response from me, but then the next episode came out. Unlike Ep. 7, Ep. 8 didn’t have a single moment. The whole episode brimmed with pain and sadness. The show’s already sad, but the lonely, isolated feeling is often overwhelmed by the suspense, drama, and excitement. This episode let the characters hurt without interruption, and it was wonderfully emotional.

1. The Get Down - I was so thrilled when I discovered this show in April, literally a few days after Part 2 had aired. I downloaded all the episodes for a road trip, and literally could not put it down the entire tme. It blended all my favorite things - the art of rap, the origin and evolution of hip hop, how battle rapping/deejaying came to be. The music was stellar, the cinematography was breathtaking, the acting was (for the most part) wonderful, and the cast was fantastic. I’ve seen some criticizing it, because of its occasionally choppy narrative and the fact that Baz Luhrmann added his usual whimsical take on something that was historically fairly dark, but I thought it was flawless. It was definitely groundbreaking in its amount of representation, and it was fun and colorful and emotional and, overall, just absolutely wonderful. Like many others, I was pretty devastated when they cancelled it. I understand why, but I wish it could get the Sense 8 treatment and receive a movie. There’s too many loose ends - it’s a real bummer. Still, I’m grateful we were blessed with this gem of a show at all.

Standout episode: S1/EP11, Only from Exile Can We Come Home - The final episode gets this spot for a single scene; the one where it alternates between Mylene singing “I’m my #1″ in the hotel room with Jackie and all the drag queens, and the scene where an unreleased Miguel song is playing while Dizzy & Thor paint on each other, and then Shao calls Dizzy his “alien brother.” That scene was easily one of my favorites I’ve ever seen in any show, in my entire life. If that episode was a film, that scene alone would guarantee it a spot on my favorite films list. It was that good.

[patriotsnet]

Why Are Republicans So Scared Of Trump

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/why-are-republicans-so-scared-of-trump/

Why Are Republicans So Scared Of Trump

Why Are Republicans So Afraid Of Voters

Why Are Republicans Still So Afraid Of Trump? | The 11th Hour | MSNBC

There is no both sides do it when it comes to intentionally keeping Americans away from the polls.

By The Editorial Board

The editorial board is a group of opinion journalists whose views are informed by expertise, research, debate and certain longstandingvalues. It is separate from the newsroom.

As of Sunday afternoon, more than 93 million Americans had cast a ballot in the November elections. Thats about two-thirds of the total number of people who voted in 2016, and there are still two days until Election Day.

This is excellent news. In the middle of a global pandemic that has taken the lives of nearly a quarter of a million Americans, upended the national economy and thrown state election procedures into turmoil, there were reasonable concerns that many people would not vote at all. The numbers to date suggest that 2020 could see record turnout.

While celebrating this renewed citizen involvement in Americas political process, dont lose sight of the bigger, and darker, picture. For decades, Americans have voted at depressingly low rates for a modern democracy. Even in a good year, more than one-third of all eligible voters dont cast a ballot. In a bad year, that number can approach two-thirds.

Why are so many Americans consistently missing in action on Election Day?

For many, its a choice. They are disillusioned with government, or they feel their vote doesnt matter because politicians dont listen to them anyway.

Democratic Congressman Suggests Kevin Mccarthy Is ‘afraid Of Donald Trump’

Congressman Jim McGovern said House Republican leader Kevin McCarthy may be a coward who is afraid of former President Donald Trump after he voted against plans to create an independent commission to investigate the January 6 Capitol riot.

In an interview with MSNBC on Wednesday, Rep. McGovern said McCarthy had got “basically everything he wanted” in the proposals for the independent commission, noting that its members would be made up evenly of Republicans and Democrats.

The aim of the commission would be to review the events that led to the deadly attack on Congress, any intelligence failures and how the government responded. The House backed setting up a commission on Wednesday in a 252-175 vote that saw 35 Republican lawmakers break with their party to back the probe.

Speaking to All In With Chris Hayes, McGovern said: “Kevin McCarthy got basically everything he wanted. He sent a letter to Speaker Pelosi talking about his demands, including an equal representation of Democrats and Republicans on the commission. He got it, he got everything.

“And yet he walked away. So he’s either a worse negotiator than Donald Trump, getting everything he wants and then walking away, or he’s a coward. He’s afraid of Donald Trump. Donald Trump does not want the truth to be known, and does not want this commission to move forward.”

Full List of 35 Republicans Who Voted for January 6 Commission

Republicans Have A Good Reason Not To Want To Investigate Jan 6: Theyre To Blame

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Our nations preeminent bipartisanship fetishistsJoe Manchin, Susan Collins, and Lisa Murkowskiare deeply disappointed that they cant get Republicans to back an investigation into the January 6 attack on Capitol Hill. Indeed, they seem outright baffled that their efforts at compromise have fallen short on plans for a bipartisan panel. There is no excuse for any Republican to vote against this commission since Democrats have agreed to everything they asked for, Manchin said in an angry statement on Twitter. It would be so much better if we had an independent outside commission, Collins, a moderate Republican, told reporters Thursday. Is that really what this is about, one election cycle after another? added Murkowski, blasting Mitch McConnells anticipated filibuster. Or are we going to acknowledge that as a country that is based on these principles of democracy that we hold so dear, and one of those is that we have free and fair elections.

I kind of want that to endure beyond just one election cycle, the Alaska moderate Republican told reporters.

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Trump Is Creating His Own American Republic Of Fear

This is a column about American cowards and an American hero, and what their behavior tells us about the future of democracy in this country and its reputation abroad.

First, let us look at the cowards, the congressional Republicans so fearful of President Donald Trump that they are unwilling to call out his rejection of a peaceful transfer of power, the bedrock of American democracy.

Just 27 of 247 congressional Republicans in the House and Senate were willing to acknowledge that Joe Biden was president-elect in a December poll by the Washington Post. They were too terrified of Trump to reject his lying rants about election fraud. Or to denounce the threats his fans are making against election officials of both parties around the country.

Unlike many of those fans, GOP legislators know Biden has won. Yet they are acting as if they live in Belarus, or Russia or China, where opposing an autocrat gets you jailed or poisoned, or in Saddam Hussein’s Iraq, where it got you killed.

“Republic of Fear” is what they called Saddam’s Iraq, and despite the huge differences between his murderous tactics and Trump’s, the term seems apt for the bubble of fear in which GOP leaders live. Unless congressional Republicans bust that bubble soon, the American republic will face a grim next few years.

Dent echoes that thought, saying, “If 100 of them today said ‘game’s over’ it would have an enormous effect on the base.”

Opinion: Why Are Republicans So Afraid Of A Fair Fight At The Polls

THE CORONAVIRUS pandemic has left state leaders scrambling to run a fair election this November. Ramping up absentee voting is the most sensible response, but unfortunately it also is becoming a partisan choice. President Trump continues to spew disinformation about the supposed dangers of mail-in voting, some state Republican leaders are refusing to make voting easier, and party officials are fighting states that are trying to do the right thing.

There is NO WAY that Mail-In Ballots will be anything less than substantially fraudulent, President Trump tweeted May 26, accusing California Gov. Gavin Newsom, a Democrat, of proposing to send ballots to anyone living in the state, no matter who they are or how they got there. In fact, voter fraud of any kind is rare, and states that conduct all-mail-in elections, such as Oregon and Utah, have not seen widespread fraud. Mr. Trump may have been spurred by a lawsuit the Republican National Committee filed May 24 against Mr. Newsom, demanding that the courts stop the governor from distributing absentee ballots in California. That lawsuit, too, is built on fearmongering.

If Republicans fear that enabling more people to vote will hurt them, they should offer more attractive policies and candidates and stop trying to suppress the vote, in California and everywhere else.

Don’t Miss: How Many Republicans Are In The 116th Congress

Republicans Now Bragging About Being Trump Big Lie Pushers

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In taking a shot at CNNs Jake Tapper, Republicans are openly boasting that theyre responsible for spreading democracy-defying conspiracy theories about the 2020 presidential election.;

The CNN anchor recently took a stand against inviting election deniers on his programs, saying last week that lawmakers who support former President Donald Trumps Big Liereferring to the false claim that the election was stolenare not welcome on his weekday and weekend shows. Its not a policy but a philosophy, Tapper said, noting he hasnt booked such Republicans since the election. Pro-Trump Republicans have since come forward with emails from CNN bookers requesting their presence on Tappers shows. Rep. Elise Stefanik of New Yorkwhom the GOP last month voted to replace Liz Cheney as the partys conference chairtweeted screenshots, telling Tapper to read and weep:

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Responding to these apparent gotcha attempts, Tapper said he cant account for every email from my excellent bookers whose job it is to present me with as many options as possible. He also pointed to the absurdity of Republicans rushing to prove they are, in fact, election deniers. Kind of stunning to see her proudly identify as a conspiracy theorist, he said of Stefanik.

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Todays Republicans Really Hate Democrats And Democracy

1) Trumps supporters have embraced anti-democratic ideas

This chart shows results from a two-part survey, conducted in late 2020 and early 2021, of hardcore Trump supporters. The political scientists behind the survey, Rachel Blum and Christian Parker, identified so-called MAGA voters by their activity on pro-Trump Facebook pages. Their subjects are engaged and committed Republican partisans, disproportionately likely to influence conflicts within the party like primary elections.

These voters, according to Blum and Parker, are hostile to bedrock democratic principles.

Also Check: What 10 Republicans Voted For Impeachment

How Americas Political System Creates Space For Republicans To Undermine Democracy

9) Republicans havean unpopular policy agenda

Let Them Eat Tweets

The Republican policy agenda is extremely unpopular. The chart here, taken from Jacob Hacker and Paul Piersons recent book Let Them Eat Tweets, compares the relative popularity of the two major legislative efforts of Trumps first term tax cuts and Obamacare repeal to similar high-priority bills in years past. The contrast is striking: The GOPs modern economic agenda is widely disliked even compared to unpopular bills of the past, a finding consistent with a lot of recent polling data.

Hacker and Pierson argue that this drives Republicans emphasis on culture war and anti-Democratic identity politics. This strategy, which they term plutocratic populism, allows the partys super-wealthy backers to get their tax cuts while the base gets the partisan street fight they crave.

The GOP can do this because Americas political system is profoundly unrepresentative. The coalition it can assemble overwhelmingly white Christian, heavily rural, and increasingly less educated is a shrinking minority that has lost the popular vote in seven of the past eight presidential contests. But its voters are ideally positioned to give Republicans advantages in the Electoral College and the Senate, allowing the party to remain viable despite representing significantly fewer voters than the Democrats do.

10) Some of the most consequential Republican attacks on democracy happen at the state level

Lock Him Up Heres The Real Reason Trump Is Afraid Of Leaving The White House

Why Are Republicans So Afraid Of Lev Parnas? | Velshi & Ruhle | MSNBC

Despite having lost the 2020 presidential election, President Donald Trump is seemingly doing everything in his power to maintain control of the White House. Surrounded by Republican political leaders who are bolstering his lies about widespread voter fraud, the president has refused to concede to President-elect Joe Biden, and has kept himself busy by replacing senior Pentagon officials with loyalists.

While the presidents apparent attempt to shore up his influence with military leaders is certainly dangerous, few experts believe he is likely to stage an actual coup. Instead, consensus is that Trump will be leaving office one way or another and that even he knows that. What Trump also knows, though and why he is perhaps so desperately clinging to the fantasy that he won is that, when he does leave, he could face prison time. And its that risk of prosecution looming over him that is making Trump tighten his iron grip on the presidency.

If Trump does end up in prison as a result of his various civil and criminal legal transgressions, he will join the ranks of several of his former associates who have been charged or imprisoned under his administration.

Then, too, former Trump campaign managers Steve Bannon and Corey Lewandowski were, respectively, indicted with defrauding donors of a We Build the Wall fundraiser, and charged with misdemeanor battery.

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An Effort To Investigate Was Blocked In The Senate

Its different with the Jan. 6 insurrection. After Republicans in the Senate blocked a bill to investigate, the House decided to investigate on its own.

This time around, however, all but two Republicans in the House Reps. Adam Kinzinger of Illinois and Liz Cheney of Wyoming voted against setting up a committee to find out what happened on;Jan. 6.

All of Arizonas Republican representatives voted no.;This would include Reps. Andy Biggs and Paul Gosar. You may recall that right-wing political activist Ali Alexander claimed that these two Arizona representatives worked with him to plan pro-Trump rallies, including the one that ended with an attack on the Capitol.

That kind of connection to the Capitol riot seems to be what Republicans are worried about. They;fear the exposure of possible;links between the rioters and Republicans, and the implications that may have for former President Donald Trump.

Gladys Sicknick, the mother of Brian Sicknick, said of the Republicans who voted not to investigate the event, I just dont believe anybody could vote no, it doesnt make sense.

Why Are Gop Lawmakers Afraid To Stand Up To Trump This Race Offers A Clue

WASHINGTON ;A nasty primary runoff in Georgia this week helped explain why congressional Republicans are so afraid of taking on President Donald Trump.

Lt. Gov. Casey Cagle had maintained a lead for the GOP nomination in the states gubernatorial race since May, when he fell short of getting the 50 percent of the vote needed to win the nomination outright. He was considered the front-runner in the race, the one who had the best chance of taking on rising progressive star Stacey Abrams in the fall.;

But it all fell apart when, in a surprise move, Trump endorsed Brian Kemp, Georgias secretary of state and Cagles GOP rival in the race. The announcement blindsided;Cagles campaign and other GOP officials, including the leaders of the Republican Governors Association.;;

A leaked internal tracking poll for Cagles campaign that was obtained by a reporter for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution showed how the lieutenant governors poll numbers nose-dived after Trump endorsed Kemp, who cruised to victory Tuesday.

The dramatic boost for Kemp is a testament to Trumps enduring sway on the Republican electorate, despite growing criticism from GOP officials about his trade policies and his disastrous summit with Russian President Vladimir Putin.

The president did not change the outcome, but it significantly impacted the margin, which means he had a very positive effect, Sen. Jonny Isakson said Wednesday of Trumps endorsement.

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Did Trump Damage American Democracy

Reddit

Did Trump permanently damage American democracy? This question has spawned a veritable cottage industry of hand wringing over the state of American democracyunderstandably so. Never before have we had a president who schemed to overturn legitimate election results, who attacked the press and the civil servants who worked for him, who admired dictators, who blatantly profited from his public office and who repeatedly lied to the public for his own selfish purposes. But while Trumps four years of rhetoric have been a shock to democratic norms, did they inflict permanent damage on our democracy? My answer is a qualified no. The guardrails of democracy held. The institutions designed to check autocracy are intact.

Successful democratic systems are not designed for governments composed of ethical men and women who are only interested in the public good. If leaders were always virtuous there would be no need for checks and balances. The Founding Fathers understood this. They designed a system to protect minority points of view and to protect us from leaders inclined to lie, cheat and steal. Fortunately, we havent had many of those in our 200-plus years of history, which is why the Trump presidency sent such shock waves through a large part of the body politic.

Did Trump weaken the powers of Congress? No.

Still In The Thrall Of Trump Party Continues On Toxic Turn Away From Truth

Even if you dont like or have never seen the 1992 film, or if you judge Jack Nicholsons acting technique as, shall we say, a bit much, you can probably recite his signature outburst from;A Few Good Men,;with appropriate volume: You cant handle the truth!

Why are so many in the GOP still insisting that the presidential election was rigged and that Donald Trump, the main attraction at the recent Conservative Political Action Conference, is the real president? Why would a 9/11-style commission to investigate the Jan. 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol to avoid a repeat by the same forces who believed an election fraud lie be a bad idea? Why all the squawking and attempts in some states to censor a social studies curriculum that presents a nuanced and complete history of a United States that has not always acknowledged the accomplishments and sacrifice of all its citizens?

Say it louder, Jack. I dont think the Republicans present and represented at;CPAC;can hear you.

President Franklin D. Roosevelt tried to reassure a justifiably fearful country, in the midst of a crushing Depression, by being honest and positive about our common problems.

Let me assert my firm belief, he said, that the;only thing we have to fear;is fear itself nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror, which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

Its a soulless transaction that views democracy as expendable.

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