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thebibliomancer · 10 months

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #306: There is a FIRE Down Below

August, 1989

Can even the SUB-MARINER withstand the brutal attack of the LAVA MEN?

Well, he's got a type advantage?

Attacking him in the ocean was maybe not the best idea.

I don't know why the disembodied Avengers heads are so distraught that Namor is beating up Lava Men. Maybe they're upset because they can't see his abs from where they are...

Anyway.

Last time on Avengers: Captain America unilaterally declared every Avenger is an Avenger and there's only one Avengers team, the one he's in charge of.

Everyone was fairly supportive of this.

Except for the Lava Men who hoisted Avengers Island into the sky and then trapped Captain America, Black Panther, Thor, She-Hulk, and Giglamesh in a lava ball and rolled them into the ocean.

This time: the ocean.

Namor is swimming around in the ocean, just enjoying his life, hanging out with his finny friends, definitely not looking for his dead monster wife's monster babies at all, when some dolphins tell him that there's bad shit going on with the Avengers.

So even though Namor was JUST THERE, he turns around to check things out. Even though the water gets oddly warm. Did someone pee the entire ocean?

No?

It's just the giant column of lava, still glowing cherry hot despite all this ocean around? A flagrant violation of physics? Okay.

The column is made up of just tons of lava men and many break off the column to attack Namor.

He punches them a lot, declaims about how cool he is, smacks some Lava Men with a Lava Man, and swims around really fast to make a whirlpool.

But despite his sea-strengthened limbs, Namor notices what the Avengers noticed last time. There's a lot of the Lava Men and they tend to just reform from damage.

Then the Rock Sphere o' Avengers drops into the ocean. It disrupts the whirpool Namor was working on. And so distracts him that the Lava Men are able to dog pile on and engulf him.

The pile of Lava Men with Namor in the center walks over and starts fusing with the giant stone sphere.

Meanwhile, in the sphere, the Avengers are still hammering away at the insides.

But even though the inner layer is rock and the outer layer is rock, there's a gooey lava middle layer.

Every time the Avengers manage to make a hole, lava oozes in and hardens.

Then a hole opens up by itself and poops out Namor.

He's all pink and dehydrated and unconscious.

I assume the Lava Men pile steamed him before tossing him in with the others.

Thor jams his arm in the Namor hole before it has a chance to close but it just pinches shut on his shoulder.

Then as if it that weren't bad enough, the sphere starts rolling again.

Thor gets mad and breaks his arm free. Which creates a big crack in the prison. Which is immediately sealed shut by lava.

All in all, things aren't going super great for this new Avengers group.

Up in Avengers Island, Jarvis tries to call for help.

The good thing about Captain America declaring all Avengers is Avengers is that you can just call in more help when a giant lava spire lifts your HQ out of the ocean.

The West Coast Avengers are still returning to the west coast from the meeting. They make a big U-turn back towards the East.

Also, various interpersonal dramas make it hard to pin down when in the West Coast Avengers this is set.

Hawkeye already ragequit and took over the Great Lakes Avengers. Tigra is in the Quinjet with the other West Coast Avengers but she doesn't seem taken over by cat instincts. Vision is his traditional red, not all white. Everyone has metal should pads for some reason.

Its weird that the Avengers books can't keep consistent when the same Byrne is writing them both.

Back with Jarvis, the room starts tilting.

He turns on the outside surveillance cameras that can even scan under the base despite it being an idea.

Now that the Lava Men have the Avengers, the ones making up the giant pillar are crumbling away.

Why, Avengers Island is probably going to fall soon!

In the Orb o' Avengers, Gilgamesh goes non-responsive in order to go into an Eternal coma to better withstand the rigors of orb life.

She-Hulk points out that Captain America and Black Panther don't have any powers so how the heck are they doing in the hazardous orb environment?

Cap non-answers by just saying "I'll worry about myself when there's time, She-Hulk."

Since the orb seems to have come to a stop, Cap asks Thor to try to punch an exist if he's up to it.

Thor cautions that it'll probably be wasted effort. But "Thor is ever ready to try anything, Avenger!"

Thor starts punching a hole in the stone, the stone starts sealing over his arm. Same old story. This time, though, She-Hulk joins in.

Thor will punch a hole through the stone. She-Hulk will punch the rock so it can't reform between Thor punches.

And with this strategy, they make progress.

She-Hulk suddenly realizes that if they're still underwater, punching through is going to lead to a rush of seawater into their predicament.

Thor hears her concerns but also proceeds anyway, punching his fist out into free air.

So they're on dry land, if they can only get out to it!

Then Thor gets consumed by the juicy lava filling. Not that its dangerous to him. Remember the Lava Men story this is referencing? Thor just sank into lava with his usual stoic pout.

Thor tells the others not to save him and lets himself be pulled into the lava. And Captain America backs up his decision because Thor is never foolhardy.

OH YEAH

His big plan was just to let himself be drawn to the center of the orb's wall and then go ham.

Meanwhile, some new plot thread.

An old man loses track of his time while reading the newspaper and then old man ambles over to check the science machine he's been working on.

A science machine that could leave a crater where Cresskill is supposed to be if old man messes up.

That's a potent science machine.

Why not get into potato clocks, sir?

Meanwhile, the Avengers find themselves deep within the bowels of the Earth. The Earth has so many bowels and yet does so little digestion.

Captain America points out that as deep as they appear to be, the pressure should turn them into primary colored goo but She-Hulk tells Cap not to sweat the science. She's more worried about how Namor is all burned and dehydrated.

So Thor bonks Mjolnir on the ground and summons a rainstorm.

He can do that. The weather is his friend.

(And really, the only thing that stopped him from doing it sooner was not enough open air.)

Namor instantly rouses because comic book people with water based metabolism rehydrate like sponges. And he instantly flies into a rage based on the last thing he remembers. But Captain America tells him to clam down and Namor instantly listens to his ol' Nazi punching buddy.

The Prince of Abslantis asks where the heck they are and Captain America reiterates his observation that they seem like they're pretty deep into the Earth and yet the pressure hasn't turned them into goo.

Then Jinku, Witchdoctor of the Lava Men shows up and tells them that they're not goo because he chooses for them not to be goo.

That's nice of him. Although he also calls them his prisoners.

(In a funny bit, he tells them not to bother trying to remember if they've met him before because they won't remember him, only for Captain America to instantly go "I remember you." Jinku isn't reading his audience very well.)

Captain America says he thought the Avengers and Lava Men settled their beef but Jinku tells them there's new beef.

WHY, THE AVENGERS HAVE BROUGHT UPON THE DESTRUCTION OF THE LAVA MEN!

Captain America is skeptical because the Avengers haven't interacted with Lava Men for... a while.

So Jinku Explains It All.

Before the Lava Men were Lava Men, they were a subterranean human-ish race called the Gortokians who worshipped a demonic looking god called Cha'sa'dra, "most powerful of the underworld pantheon."

One day, their worship of Cha'sa'dra pays off when the dude himself appears. As a reward for their devotion, Cha'sa'dra turns the Gortokians into immortal men made out of molten stone. Lava Men, you might say.

Cha'sa'dra hung around to enjoy being worshipped. Maybe relatedly, the former Gortokian civilization sank into primitive barbarism. It's gotta be him because there's no other suggested factor.

Anyway, the day came when Cha'sa'dra just fucked off with no explanation.

They got an explanation later. That Cha'sa'dra was summoned by another god (N'astirh) to take part in a war against the surface (Inferno).

The important takeaway is that Cha'sa'dra was one of the nameless demons the Avengers mowed down during their Inferno tie-in issues.

Except, he wasn't nameless. His name was Cha'sa'dra. And whoops, his turn men to lava men spell had no ontological inertia. When he died, the Lava Men lost their lava and their immortality.

Hundreds of former Lava Men instantly died of being way too old. The only ones that survived were Jinku and his acolytes. Thanks to manipulating the magic of Cha'sa'dra, they were protected from instantly aging to death.

But instead of aging, Jinku's acolytes turned to stone. Living but unmoving.

"The process of their minds slowed to such a point ten thousand years might pass before they formed a whole thought!"

Dark.

So Jinku is the last guy both alive and not trapped in a living hell.

Jinku: "This is what you brought to my people, you who call yourselves Avengers! You who consider yourselves champions of all that lives! You slaughtered all but a handful, and condemned the rest to an eternal living death! For this, you deserve no better than agonizing death!" Captain America: "I'm not going to pretend we Avengers were not instrumental in the death of your god... But what you have to understand is that Cha'sa'dra lied to you! He was no great god. He was a minor demon. A tiny part of the horde that attacked." Jinku: "SILENCE! INFIDELS! If there were a punishment greater than death, I would now condemn you to it! I would see your souls writhe in torment till the end of time, for your blasphemy!!"

Telling the truth was not the best policy this time, Cap.

Although, the death of his entire race probably made him unwilling to hear any explanation or excuse.

I think maybe you have to kick him in the lava junk until he calms down.

Anyway, Jinku does have a punishment in mind for the Avengers.

DEATH BY LAVA EXPY OF CHA'SA'DRA!

And since the Avengers were all standing in one easily punched row, he punches them all in a row.

You'd think that this would set Captain America and probably Black Panther on fire. Thank god lava doesn't work like lava in fiction.

Follow @essential-avengers for more of the same of this. But, hey, like, reblog, and comment! I'm lonely down here.

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lord-squiggletits · 6 months

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Could he really?

Are you really, really sure Pharma could have just run away or asked to be transferred?

Is it really that easy to stand up to the DJD?

It's almost as if Delphi being on the same planet as the DJD's base (something that was common knowledge and that Prowl didn't care about when stationing Pharma and an ex-Decepticon ward manager right next to them) means that there was no escape from the DJD.

It's almost as if isolating victims and keeping them from calling them for help is explicitly part of the DJD's modus operandi.

It's almost as if psychological warfare is just as much of a weapon in Tarn's hands as physical torture/killing is.

It's almost as if being a victim of the DJD is considered a fate worse than death.

Kind of weird how it is that in the same issue that the DJD are established as a terrifying threat, the same issue where Drift is compassionately asked if he's scared of being so close to the DJD, is the same issue where Pharma gets framed as a selfish madman for doing what he thought he had to to survive.

Dying of the Light came about 30 issues too late to vindicate Pharma and make it understandable why he did what he did. But even so, it's still really annoying how Pharma is the one and only victim of the DJD who gets called selfish and cowardly for doing what he thought was his only option to escape blackmail or death.

No one on the Lost Light, much less Ratchet himself, had any problem with considering Drift to be "on their side" even after millions of years as a member of the mass murdering Decepticons. And Ratchet had plenty of compassion to spare for Drift to ask him if he was scared of the DJD. Absolutely no sympathy to be had for Pharma, though; he's just a terrible doctor and Autobot who deserved everything that came to him. Murdering patients was just because he was an organ harvester working for the DJD, not because everyone at Delphi (including an ex-Decepticon who would be on the DJD's list) and himself was under threat of death by horrific torture.

Honestly I don't even think the unfortunate implications/unfairness were intended, at this point I just think that Pharma was simply intended to be a "mad doctor" character trope + token evil villain Autobot to add variety to the rogues gallery so like. The fact that the characters treat him like shit was just meant to be a narrative signal "look how much this guy sucks and is just so evil not even the good guy Autobots like him."

#squiggposting #pharma apologism #a little unhinged on this one sorry lol #ultimately pharma is just a victim of narrative framing and being too much of a tertiary character to merit depth #he has like 3 meaningful appearances and the rest are just brief flashback cameos #of course he was never gonna be written to be that deep #nevertheless i will make it that deep. i don't just have a shovel i have a whole fucking drill

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