#but like with the context that if either of them existed this is funny af

[drbatsponge]

I rewatched Return of the Joker today, or at least when I'm posting this and it's so funny because Terry is like "I'M DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHER KIDS YOU'VE TAKEN IN, I'M A CRIMINAL!"

And like if Jason or Cass existed in this universe it would be fucking hilarious. 😭

Bruce legitimately would be like "wtf r u going on about, my son and daughter literally murdered people."

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Swiftli? Grant/Marco? Mercedes/Carol? Autumn Oak/Linda Stampler? (spreading my own propaganda <3)

For the ship ask thing :)

Also sorry that it’s kinda a lot lmao

Hiya!!! Hehe very interesting choices, love this, let's get to it!

Swiftli: COMFORT SHIP ALERT!!!

So, okay, the thing about this ship is that it's not my default ship for Linc or even necessarily Taylor? But that's not to say I'm conflicted, no, I really like these two together!

*Romantically* I think it kinda took me a while to feel the appeal of this ship? But then like... One night on a whim I found myself making a really silly playlist for them and... That made me understand it? At least what it is for me. This and, @raemeh (iirc) made a post about their first kiss being a surprisingly good one and- gee idk that made me go 😳 as well hahaha.

And yeah! Like I said this is absolutely a comfort ship for me, they're very silly and cute together, love to rotate them around in my head, might even write them at some point who knows!

Marco/Grant: OUGH THE CUTIE PATOOTIES OH MY GOSH I'M PUTTING THEM TOGETHER IN A LITTLE JAR AND SHAKING THEM AROUND AND THEN UH GIVING THEM SOME PRIVACY EHEHEH

At the start of S2 I think it's fair to say that of all the kiddads I was probably most curious to see what kind of person Grant ultimately got with, I suppose probably because relationship troubles are such a big thing for him in S1! And I just want the best for him honestly ahaaa

😫 And I wasn't disappointed! Marco is so sweet and they're so cute together and eghhsibgosesg-

Er, despite this I'd actually like to see some angst/conflict between them? Grant has a lot of explaining to do tbh, and I sorta don't want everything he's hid and lied about to go without consequences from Marco... But of course I'd want them to work everything out in the end! I think that would make me love them even more tbh.

In general I really just want more of these two in canon! They need to kiss... Otherwise, y'know in general I have a good chunk of ships for Grant but... Ultimately so long as Marco exists in the same universe, I tend to imagine them getting together in the long run.

Mercedes/Carol: Oooh interesting! Not a ship I've thought too much about tbh, but I could get behind it! I think my main hang-up if anything is that usually when I imagine ships with either Henry or Mercedes, either one of them doesn't exist in that universe or they never met, or it's a poly thing! In this case, I'd probably like this best if Hen and Mercedes have an open-relationship sorta deal (I mean they sorta canonically do?) and these two get involved with each other within that context. 🤔 Could also get behind a 4-way poly scenario with Darryl as well, but that's not a necessity by any means!

:0 I like the idea of Carol getting to experiment and maybe learning more about her sexuality and the like the way Darryl sort of got to in S1, and Mercedes would be a lovely person to see that happen with! Yeah, they'd be cute together I think!

Autumn/Linda (Ron's mom!): I'm so fascinated by this ship??? Also love that we've just established Linda's name haha good for her good for her.

You'll have to tell me more about how you see this ship before I come to any concrete feelings about it tbh! Still, I like the premise I mean, I guess they'd actually have a bunch going for them? On its own I love the idea of the omega daddies being divorced af and their exes getting together haha it's what they deserve. But yeah they could genuinely be quite good for each other! I imagine Linda must be pretty good at dealing with people with anger issues, she'd probably have the patience to be there for Autumn in a way that matters and help her work through some things. And Autumn is an underrated catch tbh haha- :o also a very powerful druid who could possibly help Linda with her chronic illness??? The fact that she had a bit of a thing for Ron also makes her getting with his mom pretty funny to me.

Yeah idk, like I said I'm fascinated, feel free to ramble about them!!!

OKAY hehe, thanks for the ask!!!! 💜

[depreshroom]

Analyzing Krel, episode 1.

The titles a work not-in-progress. So, for once in my life I’m actually doing something that I said I’d do. Look at that! Me watching over my son Krel! I promise I do NOT hate Coranda, Fialkov, or Aja lmao. Again, this is just stuff I noticed and wanted to point out. I’d like to think it makes sense, but then again...maybe it doesn’t. Under the cut because it’s probably long af.

To start off, Krel is a very complicated character in the sense that he’s not only different from literally everybody else, but in the way he expresses himself, his relationship with his parents and other things that I will hopefully later type out.

Beginning from episode 1, we start off with him y’know doing his little tech genius thing over there before his coronation and a few things did happen to stick out to me. 

For one, as his father comes in to discuss that Aja has left, Krel is in no way shocked, surprised or even the slightest bit of hurt that we know of. Instead he seems closer to the side of simply accepting of it. Even if he did seem a little exasperated. Yes, we do know that he receives this news constantly but then again, coronation was no ordinary day even before the coup. It was their SHARED coronation for goodness sake. Knowing Krel, that seems like it would be a bigger deal. He even knows the drill when his father comes to it.

“It’s fine she is a... free spirit.” Would definitely like to note that he says that “it’s fine, she is a..” automatically. He’s done this a million times before, it’s cool. But immediately after that he pauses for a split second, which leads me to assume that this is a moment where Krel is questioning one of two things. (Or even both.)

Either a) he’s trying to find a reason why it is fine, why on this day in particular it’s justified that he’s alone in this, in his life and future really, because it’s fine obviously or b) he’s questioning if her being a free spirit actually is fine. Why should he be alone simply because Aja is this “free spirit” huh? She can be both as Queen. 

But, nonetheless he goes through with what he was saying. After discussing this he continues on to have this conversation with his father:

“One day, you will be king, your mother and I will be gone, and you and Aja will be all the other has.”

“What if i’m not ready to be a king?”

“Of course you’re not ready to be a king. No one ever is.”

“What I mean is, what if I’m not good enough?”

“If I know anything, my son, it is that life is a series of choices, it’s what we choose in small moments that makes these choices better or worse. You will not face these choices alone because you will always have your family, even your sister.”

I have so many thoughts about this Fialkov...oh my god.

Starting off with this, “One day, you will be king, your mother and I will be gone, and you and Aja will be all the other has.”

FIRST OF ALL, what a terrible thing to bring up as a conversation starter. My baby boy just sitting there minding his business, a little bummed bout his sister but mostly alright, and this man just comes up and talks about how lonely he’ll be with Aja, his sister who is currently runniing away. Like, dang I imagine I wouldn’t feel too good after that either. Especially if that’s what hyping me up to become ruler of a planet is supposed to be. So, of course I wouldn’t think it’d be too unexpected when Krel asks about being king.

Krel, probably not reassured, goes on to say:“What if i’m not ready to be a king?”

What I find interesting about this is that Fialkov was discussing death, he was talking about Krel having nobody but his sister. Yet, what Krel asked in return was if he was ready, no--he said “what if i'm not”.  Generally, Krel isn’t portrayed as somebody with low confidence but that’s because he was in his element. What’s so important about the first episode in any show is that it gives us insight to who the character was beforehand. This isn’t the same Krel we see even later in this episode. Later in this exact episode, Krel was confident enough to fix an akiridion ship. A crashing ship. That was being shot at. Upside down. Being driven by Zadra. 

-Krel “‘why is Aja’s bounty higher than mine’ as he nearly goes unconscious from a punch to the nose by Steve” Tarron could hang upside down whilst fixing a crashing akiridion ship and be shot at at the same time. And that, my friend, was simply because he was in his element. However, when we look at him talking to his father about being king, all that pride seems as if it didn’t even exist, as if it was never there to begin with. 

I’ll get back to this a few times too as I go through the episodes. Actually here how about this, a dash (-) means something that will be referenced again.

Even worse as we move through this conversation is that Fialkov tells him that of course he isn’t ready. I-this sounds like he’s really trying to be helpful but also not adjusting the situation to his own son. It’s like hitting the wounded. Krel is already on edge, only to be told that he’s not ready because nobody is ever ready. May I ask, what is that information going to do for him? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

-Krel, once again, proving my assumption that he’s not reassured, rephrases it: “What I mean is, what if I’m not good enough?”

-That’s a vital question. While yes, throughout the show Krel shows his moment’s of confidence, once again, this is the part of Krel we started out with. The funny thing is that although it was in reference to becoming King, the part about King isn’t tacked onto the sentence. Without the context, this question is simply “what if I’m not good enough?” Why isn’t Krel asking specifically about King, even more fascinating, as we’ll later explore Krel seems to have a complicated relationship with his parents. And Krel isn’t talking to anybody but his father, he’s pleading for validation. And honestly he needs it because at this point, he’s alone.

And finally the last line: “If I know anything, my son, it is that life is a series of choices, it’s what we choose in small moments that makes these choices better or worse. You will not face these choices alone because you will always have your family, even your sister.”

Fialkov tells Krel that the small choices in life are what matters the most. He will not face these choices alone because he always has his family… I’m sorry but did he not JUST SAY that he and Coranda would die one day? And yes he says that he will even have his sister, but he JUST got done talking about how Aja is a free spirit which apparently means it’s justified for her to run away. Coranda even says at the beginning of episode 1 to a frustrated Fialkov: “You know your daughter, Aja’s spirited.” As if that makes her running away okay, she even says it in a sort-of smile. Most importantly: He didn’t tell Krel that he would and/or be good enough. He didn’t even reference Krel’s question really. Krel never heard those words, never even heard his Papa talk about it. Imagine how this fifteen year old boy, nervous as hell sitting here apparently alone feels when he asks his father “what if he isn’t good enough?” and that question is ignored completely in favor of talking about how it’s alright because he has his family. -That is something that is often shown to hurt Krel, not being recognized but being overlooked for his sister, and in some ways not being good enough. That’s something that affects Krel a lot, and is shown to be something that makes him incredibly upset but happens multiple times. Fialkov avoided the question entirely giving off the impression that Krel is indeed, not good enough.

All together, in that conversation, there’s a pattern here. Fialkov is consistently bringing up the negatives of Krel’s situation. Soon, he’s going to be left with his sister who’s always running away because his parents will one day die which leaves him in charge of everything and he is already at a point where he doesn’t even know if he’s good enough. On top of that, he has to focus on the small moments now because those are the most important apparently. -Not to mention, his father never did tell Krel that he was good enough.

-Immediately after this Krel finishes his invention and exclaims “I did it!” That’s the first time he sounds genuinely excited and surprised. It was something he made by himself and was obviously very proud of despite the fact that he’s a tech extraordinaire. This supposedly comes easy to him, but yet there’s still a shock factor---even if it is small---that he managed it. As if yes, he was trying but he didn’t think actually could do it.

We also see Zadra arrive to tell them that it’s time to go. Krel says that Fialkov should “speak for himself” when saying they’re ready. (Good to see he’s still a smartass.) That’s only before telling himself  “Fine. I’m ready.”, then sees the audience and immediately goes “I guess.” Once again, an act of nervousness and second guessing the entire being “King” thing.

One thing I find incredibly fun to think about is the fact that Krel’s parents insist he smiles and waves no matter what. Walk out to claim your fate for the rest of your hundreds of years? Smile and Wave. Be ripped limb from limb by Vex? Smile and wave. One could assume that’s part of his tendency to bottle up his emotions, especially since he’s portrayed as the child that tries harder for his parents. One could also assume that this is how it is for him normally, this sentence is no different than “you know your daughter, Aja’s spirited” because that’s really what he has to do all the time. Aja gets to run away and he doesn’t, he just has to suck it up and deal with it. 

Side note: I love how an entire coup happens so Aja asks Krel if he’s scared and he says “I am now the King-In-Waiting, I am terrified.” I do realize that he says he won’t be scared as long as he has Aja in episode two but, you’re telling me, after everything that just went down, Krel is terrified because he’s the king-in-waiting? The throne was just fucking usurped Krel! Oh my god, I love my baby boy who has no brain cells.

By now, we’ve seen the first impression of Fialkov and Krel’s relationship which I wouldn’t say is exactly good, but later in the episode Aja has a flashback to when she runs away past curfew and her mother gives her some insight. This is how that conversation goes:

-“Royals don’t need to skulk under the cover of darkness.” (This. This is incredibly important, but I’m not going to touch on that until the last episode unfortunately.)

“They do when they don’t want to be caught staying up past curfew. I can’t be what you want me to be, I can’t be a royal.”

“No one gets to choose their station in life Aja.”

“Maybe I’ll be the first.”

“There are those that would trade their life cores for royalty.”

“And I would trade my royalty for a life. A normal life.”

“You’re remarkable Aja.”

“You say that because you are my mother.”

“Royal or not, you are extraordinary, that is what you are constantly running away from. You could leave this palace, fly far away from our world...and your destiny would follow you.”

First of all just glancing at this, what a difference between Krel and Fialkov. Coranda immediately tells Aja that she is amazing as soon as she says she would want a normal life. She goes on about how amazing Aja is, which is great because she is, but that versus Fialkov not even saying anything about whether Krel is good enough or not is a BIG difference. It’s almost like, Krel is the less favored child right out of the gate. No? Maybe? That’s definitely important and we’ll get to that later? Cool.

Final remarkable thing about episode one.

So we are nearing the end, and after the coup has happened, and their parents are now in stasis after just being shot, Aja is extremely upset which is of course valid. I hope she wouldn’t be happy after that. As Krel comforts her, and she blames herself, it takes him less time than it takes for me to register what just happened before he immediately instead blames himself too as a counter argument.

“And it would have ended sooner if I had done better in the duel, if anything we’re both to blame” The sad thing is, nobody ever told them they aren’t to blame because Mama and Papa were reunited with them, but decided to instead fight for akiridion-5 where they then retreated to their cores. 

In conclusion, the Krel we see in the first episode is nothing like the impression he could give off throughout the rest of the series. When we start off, Krel is actually just nervous and under-confident as well as asking for validation from his father. Aja also appears to be favored over him. You can’t tell me that Fialkov completely avoiding Krel’s question about being good enough was a mistake when he went on this entire rant about making choices even with his sister. All he had to muster up was a simple “I believe in you” or “you will be a great king.” or even something along the lines of “yeah, you’ll be decent.” However, he avoided the question by saying something else entirely. This, and combined with the fact that Aja was immediately told how great she is the second there was any mention of not wanting the life she has is mostly what led me to believe that. And as I said before, what makes this episode so important is that this is the first episode that gives us an insight into who Krel was BEFORE everything happened. This is Krel Tarron, the King-in-Waiting who is forced to follow this life path, nervous, and under-confident, and I’d argue timid. (Timid sounds like such a weird word to label him as but that is how he acted.) This isn’t the Krel Tarron we see who would slide down a bounty hunter’s back just for the thrill of it or who made a daxial array out of nothing or even the Krel Tarron who went joyriding on the solar system in the planetarium. Obviously at the time, something was very different or off.

I did it, part one, it has no real conclusion despite what I said, it’s basically just thoughts since it’s only the beginning. If you read it, thank youuuu!!

[frasier-crane-style]

Terminator: Dark Fate

I have no idea how TSCC came up with two seasons’ worth of innovative scenarios about Terminators and these cinematic universe motherfuckers can only redo T2 with more CGI.

This movie is plotless. It has no real plot. It’s like Now That’s What I Call A Terminator Movie! There are so many callbacks and borrowings from all the other Terminator movies that it passes the point of homage and just becomes plagiarism. The bad Terminator is the same as the T-X, metal endoskeleton with a T-1000 shell. They kill him with a Terminator power core. They say Come With Me If You Want To Live and I’ll Be Back (twice! It’s the first thing Sarah Connor says and it makes no sense in context, it’s just something people say in Terminator movies). In fact, it has anti-plot, since it undoes a lot of the story developments in Terminator and T2.

The premise is basically just we’re going to remake Terminator 1, but people don’t like reboots, so we’re going to bring back Linda Hamilton and make it a technically kinda sorta sequel (sure, Skynet was wiped from existence, but another, completely different, yet exactly the same AI called Legion was created and did the exact same thing. Which also happened in T3, but they had the decency to still call it Skynet). But otherwise, it’s entirely people being chased by an evil robot from the future and trying to destroy it. 

That’s it. That’s all there is to it. T2 had the whole thing about preventing Judgment Day before it happened. T3 had Judgment Day actually happen. This one, nothing. There is nothing going on under the surface other than a bunch of action sequences and explosions. Even T3 got some mileage out of the idea that Judgment Day was inevitable. Here, our cast learns that Judgment Day was already ‘averted’ once slash that it’s destined to be repeated and they basically go “Eh. Figures.” I’m not kidding.

Wait, that’s not fair. Let’s count out the TWEEESTS.

1. In a very contrived way, the script waits an hour and a half to actually explain why heroine Dani has been targeted for termination--you know, the thing Kyle Reese explained to Sarah Connor the moment they were out of danger--all to set up this big ‘reveal’ that Dani isn’t the NuSarah, she’s the NuJohn (yes, they actually say this aloud, just so you soup sandwich motherfuckers in the audience get it). Hear that, neckbeards, John Connor is now a woman! And Mexican! And she’s got a bit of a gay vibe, because it’s 2019 and God forbid we have a heroine that isn’t a bit bicurious. If she has a cock and balls, my bingo card will be a winner.

2. Months after killing John Connor and thus completing his mission, an Arnold-model Terminator started a family (wow, that was quick) and learned the value of human life and eventually switched sides. This is a crazy new idea that also happened in Terminator: Genebissss, so it’s done and dusted in ten minutes, even though Arnold is the most engaging character. (He’s saddled with a lot of yuk lines about how he’s a comically serious Terminator, yet (teehee) works as an interior decorator, but at least he has a personality.)

3. The other good Terminator is Grace, who needs meds to keep up her cyborg strength or she’ll crash (this never affects the plot) (it’s like they read something about Rey Palpatine having no flaws and so they decided to give Grace the ‘flaw’ of literally having her own Kryptonite). She’s not a Terminator, she’s an augmented human, which means she can make MCU-style wisecracks every five minutes. (”I didn’t hear anything.” “That’s because you’re not a cybernetic super soldier from the future.” Actual dialogue.)

4. Linda Hamilton is back, baby! Yes, that’s right, they dragged her away from doing guest spots on Lost Girl! Can you believe???? She’s become a Terminator hunter that ambushes Terminators as they come back from the future and destroys them, because Skynet was both able to send back an infinite number of Terminators AND because now they can easily be destroyed by one five-hundred-year-old woman. 

This makes it a bit confusing why they have so much trouble taking out Ghost Rider, given that he’s a T-1000 skin with a creamy T-800 center. It seems like if you hammer him enough, he’s got no endoskeleton, and that’s all she wrote. That’s what happened to the T-X. Can his liquid metal skin just walk around without the other half of him? If so, what’s the point of the endoskeleton? The T-1000 managed without it and that seemed a lot harder to kill. At one point, Sarah hits the bare endoskeleton with a bazooka, which seems like it should’ve been a mortal blow, but it’s the first act, so I guess not.

And is it supposed to be funny that the opening takes place in a car factory where (in 2019!) the human workers are losing their assembly line jobs to machines? Because they’re all Mexicans? None of them ever look at a Terminator and go THEY TOOK OUR JOBS, but man, that one is all teed up for the Rifftrax boys.

For a movie with, as I said, no plot, it’s very rushed. They seem to be saying “yeah, it’s a dumb Terminator movie, you know the score,” (even tho it’s halfway aimed at people who aren’t Terminator fans; more on that in a minute) because it seems to take all of ten minutes for both good guys and bad guys to find Dani and start getting into CGI stunt double fights, which means the story has very little time to breathe and we have very little time to get to know any of the characters. The bad guy spawns practically at Dani’s front door! And pretty much does everything by massacring a bunch of people and then hacking a computer. The T-1000 had some intelligence, some charisma. This guy’s a big nothing.

And the Dani character is useless. She starts the story already super assertive, is barely traumatized at all by her loved ones being killed and her own life being endangered. There’s none of that relatable feel of an everyman suddenly being told they have a grand destiny and an incredible responsibility, because right from the start she’s standing up to her mean boss and doing the Nevertheless She Persisted thing. And all this while being literally five feet tall and looking all of twelve years old. 

I love these Spy Kids movies.

And at least the original two movies were smart enough to leave the future John Connor mostly to the imagination. This one actually shows us Dani as grizzled military badass, beating up guys and delivering inspiring speeches (would it surprise you to know that humans fighting among each other “is exactly what Legion wants”?), and it’s just--oh man. If ever a political leader is enough to make people think back to the good old days of Trump and Biden...

And if we’re going to talk shit (rightfully) about Jai Courtney’s Kyle Reese not being at all scruffy or traumatized or feral, it should be noted that Grace seems pretty well-adjusted for a post-apocalyptic guerrilla fighter (who all wear Starship Trooper uniforms). Aside from a tendency to smash the face in of everyone she comes across, whether they’ve done anything to deserve it or not (Sample dialogue, to a doctor who is looking at her X-rays after performing life-saving surgery on her: “Did I give you permission to look at my private parts?” SMASH. No, really!)

They really go all in on this cringey, woke af “You’re not the mother of some MAN, Dani. YOU ARE THE FUTURE!” And yet, there’s a hilarious amount of toxic masculinity in this movie, just without the dongs. About every other line Sarah and Grace have is generic tough guy bullshit about how they’re going to kick someone’s ass, how they’re suspicious of someone, how they’re hostile towards someone. If they had dongs, you would think they were the smallest dongs possible, because they are compensating for something, BIG TIME. Between the T-800 and Sarah and Grace, everyone in this movie seems to outright hate each other, to the point that Arnold’s killer cyborg is one of the more pleasant characters. It gets to where you just want someone to order a fucking decaf. Does the fact that Sarah Connor has a vagina keep it from being ridiculously over the top how she spends all her time either blowing up robots or drinking herself into a stupor? C’mon. You can’t complain about male characters having ‘man-pain’ then give Bad Grandma a pass over her ovaries.

And that’s it. It’s a Brundlefly shit between yet another dumb girlpower reboot for the people who’ve never seen a Terminator movie and a sequel with Sarah and Uncle Bob to try and get that last drop of blood outta this stone. They’re trying to make something that appeals to both people for whom this is their first Terminator and people for whom this is their latest Terminator and it just doesn’t work. The newbies don’t have any emotional investment in these characters and the Terminator fans don’t like it that all the old movies were rendered meaningless to prop up Grace and Dani.

Hilariously enough, I actually played Terminator: Resistance recently, which is a fun little mid-tier shooter that was meant to tie in to this movie... and it completely ignores all the Dani/Grace/Legion BS to take place in John Connor’s future war and tie in to the first two movies. That’s how forgettable this movie is. Its own damn video game adaptation pretends it doesn’t exist. Fuuuck.

Oh! Oh! Oh! And in that big, bad, sexist original Terminator, which was so unwoke and problematic, Sarah saved herself and finished off the Terminator herself. Here, Dani has to be saved by Arnold at the climax. The 35-year-old movie is more feminist than this one. Fuck you very much.

[victorfrankendork]

guess who’s sad and gay on this fine night? ME.

who knows if i’ll ever finish this fic or if it’ll just stay self indulgent snapshots of an idea to satisfy my need for M O R E, but i’m crying over this bit in medias res rn, and i’d like you all to cry too if you so want. pls join me under the cut:

(((context if u desire: au where eddie also got caught in the deadlights like bev the first time they faced IT––and so did stan, but this is a reddie fic i’m trash ilu stan and bev i’m sorry––and three out of seven losers have been plagued with horrifically vivid nightmares for decades involving the deaths of people who are seemingly strangers. twenty-seven years have passed since that summer, twenty-two since he left derry, and eddie starts having v different weird af dreams where he’s just sitting around talking to this asshole he doesn’t even remember knowing until it all comes back. only they’re not dreams, he’s really talking to this asshole, and IT is back, but remembering the past and falling in love all over again is just as scary as a murderous alien clown.)))

“No, we’ve kissed before.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Do you remember that last night, at the end of summer after we graduated, right before we both left?” Richie asks, and there’s something that sounds almost excited in his voice, in a tentative sort of way. The kind of thing that tells him whatever he’s remembered is something big, or at least it was something big to him. He knows that feeling, knows what it’s like to have a memory suddenly knock the wind out of him, coming back in such vivid detail it almost feels too real, just like these dreams. Hearing that in his voice, even if it hasn’t come back to him yet, makes him excited, too, eager to have that memory back, to know whatever it is he’s feeling. Part of it is a little terrifying, though, to not know what he had done, to have such large chunks of his own life just gone, only hitting him again when prompted by a word, or a sight, or a touch. And maybe it’s even more terrifying considering what it is they’re talking about now.

He didn’t remember that night, but he doesn’t say it, certain, even with no concrete evidence for it, that he’ll remember as soon as he needs to, and not a moment before. All he does is shrug slightly, frown creasing his forehead, and if his heart is beating a little faster against his ribs wanting to have that memory back, he doesn’t think too hard about it.

Richie goes on, clearly trying his best to conjure up the memory for him, as well, speaking as if it’s only just fully coming back to him as he says it all out loud again.

“It was just us, or at least it was at the end of the day. I think maybe someone else was there before… I can’t remember… a friend? Shit, I don’t know… But I know that we were alone after a while, and things kind of shifted, I guess. It was hard not to be sad, I mean, of course it was; it was the end of summer, and the end of our childhood. I think you said that, I sure as shit didn’t. Of course you would say it, the end of our fucking childhood. Sounded like a character straight out of a shitty coming-of-age movie,” he laughs, shaking his head, a fond smile crossing his lips as he looks back at him.

It feels like Richie’s looking at something Eddie can’t see, though, his younger self, a self he can’t even remember being. But maybe what matters is that Richie is remembering. “The thing is, that it was the end. We were both leaving the next day, and we were going to be on opposite sides of the country. We were all going to be on our own for the first time. We weren’t going to be together anymore…”

As Richie describes it, something in his voice changes, and Eddie can remember it clearer and clearer. There’s the creeping sensation of dread just beneath the surface, and he can’t tell if it’s from knowing that it had happened at all, that it had ended, or a phantom sensation leftover from being eighteen, the memory itself gifting that to him.

They had gone swimming, late that afternoon when the sun was high and the air was thick, had tired themselves out in the water then laid out on the rocks to dry off, lazily drifting in and out of sleep, talking absently about what they thought college was going to be like, reminiscing about days that felt long gone on the horizon of adulthood. And then they’d walked through the Barrens. The Barrens. Shit, how had he forgotten about the Barrens? Where the best moments of their childhoods had taken place, memories only just recently coming back into focus. They’d wandered absently, until they had come upon that old clubhouse of theirs. And soon enough, it was dark, and the two of them were alone, and something about the air had felt just as heavy as it had in the middle of the afternoon, even as the sun set and the coolness of a late summer night settled in.

Richie was in the hammock, and he had jokingly gotten in, too, only it wasn’t a joke. There wasn’t anyone around to watch, to laugh at their bickering, or the way their suddenly too long limbs didn’t fit so well together in the hammock anymore, impossible not to tangle legs together, skin pressed to skin, touching, touching, touching.

He was suddenly very aware of how quiet it was in the clubhouse, only the nearby sound of crickets chirping, the rustling of leaves, twigs snapping every so often. Impossible not to focus on how it felt like his throat was closing up when Richie rested a hand on his leg, but not in a way that made him need to pull out his inhaler. It had been so quiet, for once, neither of them wanting to break the fragile peace, something anticipatory about it, and he had felt a lot like his heart was going to burst from the silence. He hadn’t been able to stop himself from saying, I’m going to miss this, I’m going to miss you.

And they had both known, without needing anything else, that he meant something different then as opposed to when he had said it to the others as one by one they drifted apart. Eddie had realized something oddly comforting, in that moment, as he said it.

There are different kinds of longing, different kinds of missing someone.

For once in his damn life, Richie had been silent for longer than a few seconds, just looking back at him with a slight frown creasing his forehead. Weighing the risk, weighing the reward, Eddie realizes now looking back on it. It was awkward, the way he had pushed himself up to sitting in the hammock, knocking knees, the whole thing swaying dangerously, and Eddie had thought, for a terrible second, that he was just going to get up and leave, and it would all be over like that. After all, he had crossed an invisible line they’d been dancing around for years, one he hadn’t even realized might exist until that moment, certainly not one that he fully understood even then, and that was the end of that. The disappointment that washed over him felt deep, and unfamiliar, something different than just saying the wrong thing in front of a friend, a joke not landing quite right. It would be nearly funny, looking back, just how clueless he let himself be, all because of a fear of something even greater than what might happen if he let himself feel what he felt. It would be funny, if it wasn’t so damn sad.

The thing is, though, that he remembers how it went, and it wasn’t the way he had been expecting. Because Richie didn’t get up to leave. No, he had scooted forward, so that he was sitting between his legs, the sudden weight concentrated in the middle of the hammock making Eddie slide towards him, forcing him to sit up straighter, too, so that he didn’t end up fully in his lap. Before he could do much else, though, Richie had leaned forward and pressed a quick, nervous kiss to his lips. It wasn’t much, but it had been everything to him in that moment.

A kiss. His first kiss. And with a boy. With Richie.

And the world didn’t come crashing down around him as soon as their lips touched. They were fine. He was fine. Better than fine, even; happy.

(He hasn’t been happy since then, he realizes now. He wasn’t happy again until all of this started happening, until he was allowed to remember.)

It had taken another long moment of silence once he pulled back before either of them spoke, but it said more than anything else that neither of them had bolted as soon as it happened. Richie didn’t look any less terrified, and he had still felt like his heart was going to explode in his fucking chest, but all in a good way, because how could something that felt so nice be bad? He didn’t know what it meant, could hardly even comprehend that it had happened at all, but he was glad it did. And there had been something there in the pit of his stomach that begged for it to happen again.

Does that mean you’re going to miss me, too?

It had come out less teasing than Eddie planned, voice barely more than a whisper, like even the smallest thing could have disturbed the secret moment they had created. A little too genuine, like he couldn’t quite believe Richie meant it, that he might take it back if he had the chance, that he was just teasing with that, too, like he always liked to tease him. But Richie wasn’t like that, still isn’t, from what he can tell, and he had let out a fond breath of laughter, the frown finally smoothing out, relief flooding his face. He seemed more confident suddenly, when he had reached out and put a hand on Eddie’s cheek.

Of course, I’m going to miss my Eddie Spaghetti. Nearly as much as I’ll miss your mom.

For once, it had drawn an unwilling laugh from his lips, the noise a little strangled, much more focused on the first half of it to really give a fuck about the joke.

The second kiss, Eddie was the one who closed the gap between them.

When he looks back at Richie, he’s got that familiar look of fear on his face, the same sort of fear he had had all those years ago, of being truly known, of what will happen if he’s honest, like maybe this time the response isn’t going to be good, maybe twenty-two years is enough to change things completely. And Eddie gets it. He understands the fear better than most people, having lived with it so deeply ingrained in a different way, that he hadn’t even let himself consider that something like this might be true until he’d been literally forced to, both then, and now. The thing is, though, that it doesn’t matter what changed, what they lost against their wills, they have it now, in this strange dreamscape. And there’s even less reason to be afraid here, almost like they’re back in the clubhouse in the dark, with only each other, and their secrets, free to be honest.

He lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding, looking back at Richie with a newfound perspective. This isn’t the first time they’ve been here.

(He wonders, though, if it will be the last.)

“I missed you, like I said I would. Even if I got turned around for a few years in the middle there,” he says, quietly, the teasing gone from his voice now.

“You did?” he asks, sounding genuinely surprised by the information, and suddenly Eddie can see what he saw, all the fear, and eagerness, and desire of the Richie of twenty-something years ago, memories colliding with the present, changing everything, and somehow keeping it utterly the same.

“Yeah,” he nods, a soft smile slipping over his lips. He reaches out and puts a hand on his cheek, thumb brushing over stubble, the sensation bringing back another round of memories. And then he gives him a rough pat on the cheek as he goes on. “Wish you hadn’t brought up my fucking mother after kissing me, though, asshole.”

The noise that comes out of Richie’s mouth is kind of a laugh, shocked and a little too loud, definitely not attractive, but somehow it just solidifies everything he’s just remembered. It solidifies everything he’s been thinking since falling asleep one night, weeks ago, and waking up next to this too loud, too tall idiot in his fucking dreams.

He’s fucked.

[itwill-comeback]

Some things to note

Alright, so this is my work's blog, a side blog inside a bog, don't mind me. Nickname's Casper or Cas for now. I'm 20, a Capricorn, a decent writer, huge Hozier fan. This is where I'll be putting the stuff that I write as well as on AO3 which to be fair, I'm not as good at using since I just started using it.

About my writing:

I'm an absolute mess of a writer, zero update consistency, sorry. No editor, unless you count Grammarly. I'll probably only ever post my COVT works here and AO3 so there's that.

× I love the COVT just the way it is, but I crave some new things in it. In my writing you'll probably find the following

× Vlad not being bad at like everything, boy needs some skills and hobbies dang it!

× Vlad having motivations and in some way resembling his father when that motivation is what's driving his decisions, don't worry he won't become his old man, but lord outside of physically resembling Tomas he needs to have some of his traits.

× You don't know where we are canonically in my works? Join the club babes. Call it an AU or post-canon if it makes you feel better cause I'm just writing for the fuck of it, and you're in my candy cottage now kids.

× Vlad has ADHD canonically I'm almost certain, so don't be surprised if it's in my works. He's on adderall and Henry reminds him often to take his medication so he's not the Big Forgetful.

× Vlad is willing to flex on people about being the Pravus because he's aware it tricks vampires out and he finds that funny.

× Henry has an Attitude™ and does Not tolerate shit from vampires. Thank those Slayer Genetics.

× Vlad schemes. No context just,, be aware.

× Dorian is ostracized in Elysia, but he's not actually that creepy, people just really don't like that he's powerful and has a penchant for playing the Cheshire Cat. Cryptic soft boi with a grin that claims madness, promise he's just lonely.

× Vlad is far less awkward in my writing, he's clued in to social and psychological influences.

× D'Ablo has gotten a fucking redemption arc. Will I write it? Unlikely. (I did) But you see in my head canon he's faced off with Tomas and Vikas, and being the incredibly hard to kill bastard that he is, got out of it alive despite their best attempts to be rid of him. Pravus blood will take you so far. He lied low, got bored, came back to Stokerton and basically told Vlad "You're the Pravus, we been knew, want my job back, idc bout u or ur uncle or the Elder Council, like being President tho so tell Otis to scoot." And Vlad was like "yeah sure, Otis wants to go back to being principal anyway & the Elder Council doesn't take up near as much time as the Stokerton Council cause it hardly ever convenes, don't fuck wit me again, my dad's dead btw, oh and Vikas too. Let's just be chill." And that was that.

× Vlad has vampire friends and empathizes with other orphans. Not far fetched. Like at all.

× Vlad has a few jobs, gets that bread... for a college aged kid at least.

× Did I say bread? D'Ablo is rich af. Stunts on everybody in Armani suits and wears Red Bottoms. He's the President of a Council, you know that job pays. Old rich Italian vampire rolls in mad cash and has taste, surprise surprise ?

× Know who else is an old rich Italian vampire? Dorian Ciotti, his family uses stocks and real estate as monopoly money. And you thought they were just a humble family with a small business, jokes on you they haven't been humble for hundreds of years. Dorian is known to travel all the time, where did y'all think he got the money for that? You better believe he spoils Cecile, she's his baby girl. A rich single dad who thinks he might fuck up at any moment, he's doing great at raising her. Your fav could never.

× Elysian Councils are mostly afraid and indignant towards Vlad, but don't worry, he can see through them quite well at this point. (Read: he was raised by Tomas fucking Tod, the king of liars, other vampires don't have shit on him.)

× Elysia is not entirely the Councils, Elysia is a world of vampires full of pocket communities and niche tribes all tied by the same undead thread.

× Otis and Vlad share the issue of having a terrible sweet tooth, and now that Nelly's gone they have to figure out how to bake for themselves. Also blood candy and blood mixed baked goods exist and Vlad is really wanting to try some.

× Vlad has the most powerful weapon against vampires on him at all times now, is curious to find out how it works and what it runs on. Elysia knows he doesn't leave it anywhere, if he's somewhere the Lucius is there with him.

× I will be inventing a few of my own charms (like the tego charm) with latin words so you can always ask Google what the charm does before I tell you. (I.e. Tego = to cloak, to hide. This charm is used to allow the vampire who creates it to have a lock down on any humans they place it near.) Tomas places these around the citizens of Bathory to keep other vampires from reading their minds and discovering his location, he closes their minds in a way.

× Vlad has more complex hidy-holes for his things these days.

× Remember that key in the first book that looked like head of a woman that was described in detail and then left behind and never mentioned again? Remember it. I'm gonna use it. Red herring? Who?

× Henry has not forgotten the time he saved Otis' life. He's gonna call in that favor someday, Otis, you know he will.

× Otis has a lot more faith in Vlad to not act like a child and will treat him like an adult.

× Vlad has a huge crush on somebody. Not saying who.

× Vlad's a big hippie. On god, he loves the earth, hates conflict, and wants to tell D'Ablo about how many slave children worked to create his outfit, but wants to keep their peace more.

× Vlad has at long last, filled out and isn't the lanky child he once was, could throw you through a wall but is probably too nice for that. Probably.

× Vlad and the Pravus are separate entities sharing the same vessel. Pravus isn't a ghost though, he's the Adam of the vampire species and died a long ass time ago and wanted to live again after a while. Much like D'Ablo, he lied low, got bored and wanted his place in the world back. Had to create a new form of life to exist in, created the vessel (Vlad's body), could've gotten rid of Vlad's soul and just worn his body, but kind of ended up adoring him before he was even born and, entranced with the concept of this new existence, decided to share the body with him, which sort of forces him to stay hidden in Vlad's subconscious or divide their body into two bodies. Which he can totally do, but it's kind of a lot of trouble and would hurt Vlad badly so he doesn't bother. He really adores this dumb kid and doesn't want him to be lonely, but that'll present its own issues in its own time.

× Dorian is aware of all of this. Pravus can fix his mind and his cravings for vampire blood, but he can't force this from the two of them because it would kind of fuck Vlad up. Oh you mean that fox in the back of my mind isn't my mental support animal, it's an ancient vampire and kind of absurdly powerful? Cool cool.

× Eddie Poe becomes a bigger problem than ever before! Fun!!

× The Slayer Society becomes a bigger problem than ever before!

× As far as I'm concerned, Em is not being manipulated by D'Ablo in the books, he answers to her, she's autographed bible old, you think he could pull one over on her? Tomas Tod couldn't even manage that. (Canonically I know Vlad insinuates that D'Ablo is holding some power over Em but I just can't see that realistically being true.)

× Em went home to Europe after that Slayer cleanse nonsense, she's still President of her Council, but she is no longer on the Council of Elders. Kind of in hiding because she suspects Vlad's about to take over the entire world.

× D'Ablo's cult is still a thing, they send Vlad gifts sometimes. Sometimes it's a dead bird, sometimes it's an envelope full of cash. D'Ablo doesn't care either way what they give him, Vlad prays it's not a dead animal every time tho soo.

× Remember how Mellina was never said to have any family? Turns out her family were just religious nutcases and promptly disowned her (and her child) upon finding out she was having a child out of wedlock.

× Vlad is in touch with the Tod clan in Scotland cause he wanted to get in touch with some part of his family and prove to himself that his dad's side isn't all bad, they kind of give him Evil Dad War Flashbacks™, but they're good people. A few are vampires and they think Vlad's a cool kid.

× There's always gonna be magic in my writing, don't worry though, I'm not gonna make Vlad OP.

[gayasinstupidpodcast]

What’s up gamers!!! Our fourth episode plowed through the chaos of thanksgiving holidays and is Here w/ some Facts and Opinions about creating shit and being LGBT and how being LGBT influences creating shit. HEADS UP we recorded this while I had a cold so my voice is probably a little off, but ik Isaac put SO much work into the editing so it would be ready on time and we have recorded statements from some amazing artists (transcriptions under the cut below!) & this is honestly one of my favorite episodes we’ve done so far, so give her a listen if you’re gay or enjoy fun things!

BIG thank you once again to everyone who participated in this month’s episode!! Your contributions are so valued and so beautiful!!

You can find us on the Itunes Podcast App/Webpage at Gay As In Stupid Podcast! You can also find our episodes uploaded to Youtube and Soundcloud!

You can also follow us on twitter at gayasinstupid!

Further Reading on LGBT Artists

Montage of a Queering Deferred: Memory, Ownership, and Archival Silencing in the Rhetorical Biography of Langston Hughes

The Political Provocations of Keith Haring 

Pop art politics: Activism of Keith Haring 

E M Forster’s Gay Fiction

Alok Vaid-Menon Tells Us What It’s Like To Be Femme In Public

Shea Diamond Speaks Her Truth

Aaron’s 2018 November Recs!

Alok Alok Vaid-Menon is one of my favorite poet/activist/performance artists out there! Their writing and stage presence is gorgeous and witty in a way that’s SO clever and still feels like you’re in a room trading jokes you don’t need to explain with your closest trans friends. The way they balance their art creates a real, deeply touching experience that feels very essential to our world.

Miles (2016) Miles is set in 1999 and is a coming of age story about a gay teenager trying to get a volleyball scholarship for college in Chicago. It’s not revolutionary and it’s not over the top dramatic, but it’s funny and honest and it makes me feel nice. Definitely the movie to watch when you’ve just been through something emotionally taxing and need a light crying session and some mediocre pastries.

Isaac’s 2018 November Recs!

The Adventure Zone I know half of you already kin the Mcelroys while the other half either don’t know or don’t care, but the Adventure Zone is one of my most favorite things in the world. It’s a DND podcast (yes, all episodes are transcribed, and they have a graphic novel for the first arc of Balance with a second one on the way!) by three brothers plus their dad, and not only does it have the most amazing story and is ungodly funny, but TONS of gays (Griffin went ape with those Lesbian NPCS)! And just because they can! Same with trans characters. It’s a story where they just exist, and that’s really important to me because in a lot of media LGBT have to almost prove why they deserve to take up space. And it’s not just something that goes on in their first campaign, Amnesty also has those sweet sweet gay! I could talk about this podcast for hours, so if you needed that final push to give it a listen, THIS IS IT!

Stardew Valley You get to farm and be gay. And if THAT hasn’t sold you on this charming video game, then maybe the super cute graphics, beautiful soundtrack and a handful of interesting characters will! TBH I spend so much time playing this game it’s concerning. It’s just such a fun way to relax, and I just really REALLY like video games were I can chose to be gay. Like. God Tier. YOU CAN HAVE CROPS AND CHICKENS AND BE GAY C’MON YALL!!

The Amazing Quotes And Artists Featured!

Meg | instagram | esty

“My identity as a bisexual woman influences my art in many ways. As a woman, i create art about the issues that effect me, such as abortion and gender equality, in order to resonate with the people that matter most to me. As a bisexual individual, my subjects often appear from a gaze that falls outside of the stereotypical eye. My figure drawings and portraits all come from a place of admiration, and don’t fall into the stereotype of the male gaze or womanly care- they are the space inbetween, equally sexualized and normalized. I feel lucky to be a bi gal in the art world because it is a place that is my own to create in. There are so many queer artists that i look up to such as Mapplethorpe and Warhol, and many female artists i can cite as influence (Jenny Holzer, Kiki Smith, and Louise Bourgeois to name a few). My identity gives me a whole new world of content to draw from and allows my work to resonate with a wider audience, and I really think that any artists goal is to reach and touch as many people as possible.“  

Cameron | twitter | instagram 

“I don’t think that it influences the form really, but it definitely influences the subject matter! (Much as I hate to admit it, my identity influences the majority of choices I make in life.) I write a lot of poems about lgbtq related things and religion, as well as other stuff too. I was raised catholic, so realizing that I was “different” at more than one point in my teen years was scary AF. Being a member of the lgbtq+ community and also trying to still feel like I belong, or wanting to, in a religious community is hard, the two things are usually at a crossroads in my life so writing about them makes it easier for me to get through. My hope is that someday someone reads what I wrote and finds some peace in their own life/experience.” 

Vince | art instagram

“Well, being transgender I feel like I’m constantly aware of the lack of representation of my community, and I feel like it might be because of that I tend to experiment with showing all sorts of different type of people in my work. Because there’s so much diversity in the world, why not showcase that?”

Fox | art instagram  

“Oof…I’m gay so my characters always be gay. Gotta Fill the void in media w my own bullshit so I don’t have to rely on straight showrunners who will inevitably discard the character since they themselves seem to have no personal attachment and treat lgbt characters as disposable extras. Bc if I don’t at least attempt to create representation in the field I’m going into then I can’t rlly complain about the lack of it right? If I don’t try and change it I can’t complain about the lack of change so being an lgbt artist is lowkey Big Pressure to be revolutionary in your work but sometime…..I just wanna draw funkey animeal and that’s aight too”

Jen | twitter | instagram

“As a female bisexual poet, I worry often that my poetry and art will be too niche to be appreciated. I’ve spent years editing my poetry down to its barest bones in hopes that someone will relate to it. Changing pronouns back and forth because I worry that if I do talk about a woman, the poem will be stripped of its context and suddenly be about my queerness when in reality it never was. When I write about love and people I have dated and have crushed on, I want the poem to exist outside of the gender of who I love. I fear my authorial death will result in a complete misinterpretation of what I mean. When I write, it truly does not matter to me if I am writing about a woman or a man. If I feel what I write and I can make someone else feel it too does it matter that I also love women? I write what matters to me overall, regardless of gender, I try to make my poetry as true as possible. Sometimes, when I catch myself over editing I try to take myself back to the moment, to the person, what I loved about him or her. “

Lain | art instagram

“My LGBT Identity has significantly impacted almost all of my art, especially my work over the last two years. Ever since I have allowed myself to accept that I am trans and began my transition (6 months on T!), the impact that my Roman Catholic upbringing has had on my bisexual trans identity has bled into my artwork. Because of the way I was raised, accepting and allowing myself to be authentic has been an upward struggle. And what better way to process and document struggle than art?  

Much of my recent work has had a focus on the trans body, particularly the “sanctity” of self-actualization and the god-like power that comes with accepting and creating yourself in the unique and exceptional way that LGBT people must in order to live authentically. Two of my pieces on this topic were actually recently exhibited at UWM in the Trans-lucent exhibition, and will remain there until December 15th (I think). I got sick and tired of never seeing trans representation, so now I am creating that space that I crave in my own work.”

Kobe | instagram | soundcloud

“My art from is very influenced by my LGBT identity. It is very influenced by my LGBT black Identity. I think that whenever an artist makes their art (in my case writing music, singing, dancing) they should incorporate as much of themselves as possible. I think my LGBT identity definitely adds a sense of representation as well. I want people like me to listen to my music to know they aren’t alone. So it influences my work a lot. “

Nat | art instagram

“I think the fact that I am part of the LGBT+ community influences my art directly. Even though I don’t draw as often as I wish, I believe both my drawings and college projects (I am a 3d art/animation student), and my creativity in general is inspired by my personal experiences as a gay woman and common things experienced by the community. I try as often as I can to bring representation of some kind in the things I do, mainly personal projects. I also feel that it influences me on my motivation to keep creating; whenever I listen to, see drawings, watch movies or see whatever form of artistic expression from LGBT+ artists it gives me the energy to keep going, to keep creating.”

[untaintedtea]

Ten sets out of numerous tweets about my Boring Modern AU for context. I know my twitter audience is different than my tumblr so...yeah...but it’s pretty much just a lighthearted thing that shouldn’t be taken too seriously. I also got some help from twitter friends with a few ideas as well.

Some other notes:

I don’t know if stuff like magic etc still exists. Maybe it does. I just don’t want Heavy Drama where people are always killing each other, okay.

Ciri was born in 1994 because she’s 21 when the game came out in 2015, so the AU mostly takes place from the mid-90s-early 2000s, when she’s still a kid-kid. She was adopted as a baby.

Geralt is a stay-at-home dad and private investigator. Vesemir (Ciri’s grandpa) adopted him and Eskel/Lambert/Coën (Ciri’s uncles) and taught them how to detective.

I’m not 100% sure what Yennefer does for work, though I like the idea of her still running a boutique. I think she might have work(ed) for some part of the government as well? either way she’s rich af

When it’s Yen’s turn to “cook” she buys take-out or takes them to a restaurant. who has the time

Yennefer has a cat (bc I’m self-indulgent) that hates Geralt ofc

Geralt has Yen’s name surrounded in black hearts in his twitter bio but he doesn’t really use it (so he doesn’t know when he’s being subtweeted)

Ciri is the kid who says “my dad can beat up your dad!!1!” to other kids

I know this whole thing is basically a joke but they do call him “daddy” bc he called himself that until it stuck bc why does only Yen get a cute parental name 8( (if you make this weird I’ll kill you lmao)

actually maybe it was always daddy from the start tbh I just wanted to make that bad joke in the tweet

the “literally nothing bad happens” is a lie because Ciri has Troubled High School Years where some Rats stuff happens

BUT Cerys is there!! Ciri was childhood friends with her and Hjalmar but she only really gets close to Cerys in high school ifyouknowwhatimean

Ciri gets this for Yennefer for Mother’s Day (which is how she got lost at the mall):