#but make him a bit more of an asshole and less of a nerd | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

baiyubai · 11 months

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weilan university students!au anyone? I almost dumped this on the WIP stage but then @the-marron bribed me into finishing

the bribe is under the cut

Zhao Yunlan is barely awake this morning, which means that his awareness of anything leaves a lot to be desired. The fact that he managed to stumble into the right train with only minimal amounts of bumping into people is already far above Zhao Yunlan’s own expectations for today, so he feels excused that it took him an embarrassingly long while to notice he is being watched.

It's not exactly a new feeling, truth be told - Zhao Yunlan does attract attention, absolutely willingly and with intent, but he is fairly sure that his awake self is much more interesting than the zombie chewing on the lollipop in his mouth that he sees instead of his own reflection in the train’s window.

And yet. Someone is looking.

Subtlety is an art available only after noon in his experience, and so Zhao Yunlan looks around in a way that is as covert as he can make it - with dead stare and absolute lack of any finer thought marring his forehead, when he sees him - the Pretty One.

Zhao Yunlan has been aware of the Pretty One for a while now. He’s noticed him a few weeks ago when he was getting on the train with his eyes glued to a book in his hand. Zhao Yunlan's first thought was ‘oh, a nerd’. The second one was just ‘oh’, because the man raised his eyes to search for some space where he and his book would not be a bother, letting Zhao Yunlan see his face clearly.

And what a face it was.

Classic poets didn't know shit when they described otherworldly beauties because this guy is just perfect.

And now he is staring at Zhao Yunlan.

He is seated a bit away, by the window, staring at Yunlan rather unashamedly. Maybe he truly believes in the zombie impression and doesn't think he’s been noticed.

Maybe he is simply judging Zhao Yunlan's clothes - he is pretty sure he wore the same hoodie yesterday, and since apparently he and the Pretty One share their everyday commute to the university, he had to notice.

Well, it is the only one not stained with coffee, so the Pretty One would have to deal.

Trying to make this a bit less awkward, Zhao Yunlan looks down at the book in the guy's hand and almost jolts. Biology?

Shit. This one is smart.

Pretty, but out of Yunlan's league and most probably an asshole - all the sciency types were either assholes, or insane or both.

Well, better to check than regret, Zhao Yunlan thinks.

Even if he decides that Zhao Yunlan looks like an idiot.

***

Zhao Yunlan looks as great as usual, Shen Wei decides, feeling heat in his cheeks and his neck.

Of course, he looks his best when he is animated and talking to his friends, surrounded by people who adore him, smiling and sharing his knowledge with a smile and a joke - Shen Wei sees him often on his way back from the tutoring sessions, after Zhao Yunlan leaves his own club. He’s never managed to come closer, intimidated by Zhao Yunlan's usual circle, and besides, in the evenings Shen Wei only shares a two stations-long ride with Zhao Yunlan, because of his job.

That's why Shen Wei prefers the mornings.

The mornings are just for them - they get on the same station and leave at the one closest to the university, parting ways when the crowd of other students swallows them and carries them towards the gates.

But before that, Zhao Yunlan is more often than not just within the reach. Today, he looks tired - there are shadows underneath his eyes and his gaze seems a bit unseeing: it’s stopped on Shen Wei, but there is no light of recognition, no surprise at some random guy watching him like he is the best part of his day, and so Shen Wei allows himself to look some more.

He cannot help but feel a bit worried - is it lack of sleep? Illness? He doesn't know.

He doesn't even know what Zhao Yunlan studies really, he didn't catch that when listening to the conversations for such a short time. All he knows is the other man’s name, his route, and the fact that the mere sight of him makes Shen Wei’s heart do stupid things.

It's plenty enough.

Shen Wei should look back to his book - the discussion will most likely rest on his shoulders again and he should be better prepared for Professor Ouyang’s questions, but his eyes refuse to move.

There is something thrilling in having Zhao Yunlan's attention, as illusory as it is. Shen Wei is not fooling himself here, he knows that Yunlan is looking past him, just letting his unfocused gaze rest on something, but even so, Shen Wei is glad to have this semblance of a contact.

With his coursework loaded as it is, with the tutoring sessions and the part-time job at the museum, Shen Wei doesn't have time to make friends.

All he has is this train ride and Zhao Yunlan's handsome profile.

He wonders what would happen if they talked. He probably wouldn't like Shen Wei much, losing interest after a few sentences, realising that Shen Wei is just as boring as he looks, but maybe he would smile before that? He would offer his name, a handshake maybe?

Something changes in Zhao Yunlan's eyes suddenly, and Shen Wei looks down onto his book immediately, feeling caught.

He feels Zhao Yunlan's gaze on himself for a long time, staring at the words without comprehension, but it's better than seeing accusation or disgust in Zhao Yunlan's eyes.

For the first time in forever, Shen Wei is glad that the train reaches the destination. He packs his book and adjusts his glasses, heading straight towards the door. He will not check if Zhao Yunlan is here.

Once outside, Shen Wei breathes a sigh of relief. He doesn't know where Zhao Yunlan is, but it's fine. He can observe him again in the evening after all, even if for a short while.

“Hello there,” someone behind his back says, making Shen Wei’s heart leap like a rabbit. He knows that voice. “Want to go together?”

When Shen Wei turns, he is faced with Zhao Yunlan's bright, friendly smile, the lollipop stick still in his mouth.

“Go?” He repeats dumbly.

The answer makes Zhao Yunlan chuckle.

“To the uni. I am conducting an experiment!”

Shen Wei blinks. People are milling around them in haste and some small part of his brain insists that they should move too, or they would be late, but that part seems not to be aware that Zhao Yunlan. Is. Talking. To Shen Wei.

“Ah. What is it?” He manages heroically, not stumbling on his words even once.

Zhao Yunlan grins.

“The ‘how many eye contact until date’ experiment.”

Shen Wei’s mind comes to a very violent halt.

#I invested all of my skill points into making a white line around characters and none into backgrounds #guardian #镇魂 guardian #weilan #shen wei #zhao yunlan #fic rec #my art

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cybertron-smash-or-pass · 3 months

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A bit of a loaded question, I know, but do you have any TF ships you prefer and would like to share?

I need you to be aware that you're opening pandora's box here. The vibes range anywhere from "god this is hot" to "god this is cute" to "their dynamic is so fucking interesting and i want to study them under laboratory conditions" to "this hurts so much and I need the drama, I am CRYING" to smashing barbie dolls together. I have crackships you ain't even THOUGHT about. I throw ships at the wall just to see if they stick. I like a lot of ships. Arguably too damn many. So many that I'm putting this under a cut to spare people from the long post. So many that I have to sort them by continuity so you're not staring at an unorganized list longer than do you love the color of the sky.

TFA

shockbee I feel has a lot of the potential for shockwave fearing what happens when bee finds out he's not longarm. Like a lot of the scenes in auto boot camp read to me like shockwave really did want bee as an ally while he climbs the ranks, and there's some juicy potential for shocker starting out as just using him until he actually catches feelings. Especially in aus where bee really did join the elite guard. Like can you imagine the drama. The heartbreak. The trust issues. Bee realizing he never really knew the guy he could trust most. Wondering if he's even safe to be around. If anything was even real. Shockwave wondering the same things. Hhhhhhhhh.

I do enjoy shockblurr conceptually but I'm not crazy about how they're usually portrayed in the fandom bc I feel like we're all forgetting that shockwave is a ball of anxiety and murder, and Blurr is a straight laced fuckin nerd who can't shut his mouth. An overpowered, highly capable nerd, but a nerd still. I like what the artist katzske does with them a lot tho.

I'm also a blitzbee enjoyer but on a less "bee can fix him and itll be so sweet" level and more "god imagine how annoying they'd be together." Looney Tunes levels of fucking with people. Either that or bumblebee is just horny on main and really likes the thought of bagging a con, but then he goes and catches feelings.

prowlbulk owns my entire heart. They're so sweet on each other and prowl really respects and appreciates bulkhead way more than bulky's used to. And bulkhead admires so much of prowl's skill and perspective. They work so well together as a couple and it's fucking adorable. With a hint of tragedy bc. Well. You know.

Bulkbee is also incredibly cute bc I'm a sucker for besties that very slowly realize they love each other so much it makes them look stupid. Good in romantic or qpr flavors. Bee already climbs all over bulkhead like a squirrel, they're so fuckin affectionate and very very stupid in social settings.

I like Optimus and blackarachnia from a drama standpoint bc God. They are tragic. They are MESSY. I genuinely think there's no happy ending for them. The trust is gone. But they still miss each other so much and they just CANT move on, so they keep stringing each other along. They're just hurting themselves and each other every time one does anything nice for the other. It's the kinda shit that just slowly rips your heart out. OP please don't text your ex. OP pLEASE

Megop is a classic but I feel we as a fandom underutilize how much Optimus pisses off Megatron. He is an asshole cat knocking shit off the counter for attention. Megs lets him be worse when he is so so fucking tired of being good. He loves that he hates him and he hates that he loves him. Full on "my esteemed rival" "dearly detested." Fighting each other is cathartic and addictive. Megatron finds it infuriating but he can't deny how much he likes having a worthy opponent, how fitting it is that the cosmos sent him so deadly a nemesis, and yet how lame it is that he was so forgettable at first so now he feels dumb being mildly obsessed with him. Optimus is just glad he has someone who doesn't expect him to be perfect and nice and upstanding. He can vent out a lot of his less noble feelings or impulses that he's had completely repressed for ages. The pressure's off in a lot of ways. And I think in an enemies to lovers sense, watching them figure out how to make that setup and that very odd mutual desire to be in each other's lives into something healthier could be really compelling. Or tragic in a "why did I let myself need you? Why the fuck did I let myself need you?" way.

Beeprowl is funny but I only really like it in a "you annoy me SO MUCH let's make out about it" way. Nothing committed, just dispelling the tension without having to kill each other. It is just kinda nice seeing them have genuinely sweet moments though. Squidbob ass relationship.

Lugnut and Strika are the perfect Decepticon power couple and I love them so much. So very much. Lugnut loves his big terrifying wife capable of leveling cities, and she loves her sweet devoted husband who could throw her across the room. I think they break chairs over each other's heads for fun and have been trying to seduce Megatron into a threesome for ages.

Shockwave and Megatron are also incredibly good. The loyalty. The "I commit my whole existence to you. I am yours, in mind body and soul. I will go wherever you need me to, I will put myself in immeasurable danger for you, just please say I'm doing a good job" and "all my efforts would be lost without you. In a world where I have been vulnerable and terrified, where I have been stabbed in the back by people I thought I could wholly trust, I can look at you and know, unwaveringly, you won't do the same. I trust you completely." It's Delicious. It's absolutely codependent but god it's tasty.

Also honestly? Bulkhead and the constructicons could make a pretty cute throuple. He wants them to be better. They want him to be worse. He just wants them to do honest work and they want him to stop letting stuffy, elitist autobot society control him so much. They love each other, they're friends (even if the constructicons don't totally remember the first night they met him). And they really do enjoy each other's company. They're just guys being dudes. Just dudes being guys. Just guys being gays. (It's also just nice when bulkhead gets to be the smaller one, scrapper totally carries him around like a big ol' cat).

I really like prowl being torn between lockdown and jazz. They're the devil and angel on his shoulders. Lockdown tempting him into relapsing, feeling himself fall into old habits, forsaking everything he's learned about patience and respect and being conscientious of the world around him. Jazz picking him back up when he slips, making him WANT to keep being better. And prowl can't decide if he wants to be loved in spite of all his toxic traits or BECAUSE of them. It's got me in a chokehold, your honor.

Megastar is fun in tfa because 1. It's implied Megatron never actually abused starscream while they were on the same side (the first thing starscream says after waking up from being shot is "YOU DARE STRIKE ME, MEGATRON?" which reads to me like this is a new development). Megs doesn't actually hurt anyone working for him other than Sumdac, who he fucking hates (at least not on-screen), and the only reason he was as aggro to starscream post-revival was because he knew screamer is the reason he spent all that fucking time as just a severed head. He used to actually trust him, sort of, even if he was a scheming, sycophantic little weasel. And 2. It's pretty obvious they have history together. I genuinely truly believe they were exes and Starscream only planted a bomb on him because he couldn't be fucking normal about the divorce. You look at how they bitch at each other in deep space and then immediately fall into what is most likely their old dynamic of getting things done and shooting the shit and tell me they never had an intense romantic stint that went horribly wrong. Starscream calls him Meggy in his internal logs for fucks sake.

Ratchet x Arcee are also very very cute together. Old married dorks. Ratchet's so soft with her and he wants her to be okay. She genuinely likes him and he makes the nightmare she's subjected herself to bearable. "Don't call me sir, I work for a living!" They're both horrifically traumatized, they understand each other on a level most bots can't, and they can ground each other when it gets bad. God. You know they're slow dancing in the kitchen together. You know they're sickeningly domestic with each other. They are holding hands in the park on a comically small bench on earth right as we SPEAK.

Oh also sumdac x megatron. It started as a crackship of mine but I really love the idea of sumdac feeling legitimately guilty for taking Megatron apart and unknowingly violating him the way he did, even if Megatron is terrible. Like the dynamic of "you lied to me" "if I told you who I really was, I would be dead. I don't owe you the truth when you held me captive. I was vulnerable. I was TERRIFIED. I did what I had to in order to keep myself safe. And you come to ME with accusations of doing you wrong? When YOU held all the power? And then when I'd taken back the power you left me without, made you feel what I felt, I'm a monster?" "I never meant to hurt you" "Well you did. And now you know just how much damage you did." Like it's such an interesting angle, ESPECIALLY when you consider that sumdac probably grew to legitimately care about Megatron while he was in his lab. He wanted to do right by him. He wanted to see him restored and thriving. He was his robot buddy that made a birthday gift for his kid once. Some part of him probably misses him after he's gone, some part of him probably feels guilty too, even through all the rage and hurt and fear and betrayal. That's complicated feelings!! That's juicy!!!!!

I like the thought of Shockwave and Optimus but that's mostly for sexy reasons. Something about a big, smooth talking, scary cryptid monster, very well spoken and elegant, seducing Good, Upstanding Autobot Optimus to The Dark Side. This is mostly because Optimus is a huge nerd and so is Shockwave. I think Shockwave could potentially pique his interest with uncensored versions of the history Optimus is already a huge dweeb about, and seal the deal with a few gentle touches and honeyed words. From Optimus's perspective this is Very Obviously a Honeypot Trap but the trouble is Shockwave is very hot and very sweet on him and starting to seem less and less evil so he's not sure how long he can keep his guard up when the temptation is this strong. He has a duty to fight Decepticons and shut out their lies but man. He's so tired. And Shockwave's berth is very warm. There is something satisfying about seeing him choose to be selfish after nearly a whole show of him taking the high road. (It's even better if he gets attached when eventually Shockwave's Cool Sexy Collected vibes falter and he sees how much of an anxious, panicky dork he actually is)

I also just kind of like the idea of team prime being a polycule (other than ratchet, who is just watching the young bots having relationship drama and rolling his optics (the age gap and mentor role make me personally a little uncomfortable but I have nothing against people who do include him, they're all adults, its chill)). I like the thought of these losers getting home after a long day and collapsing into a cuddle pile, either on the couch or on the floor. They all love each other so much already, I think they should kiss about it, but they're super repressed so it's So Very Shy and Cautious and Sweet.

The same goes for the Decepticons but more in a "cons are pretty casual about sex anyway, they're in close proximity, and they tolerate each other at least so nearly everyone has a fuck buds setup with each other" way. I feel like the autobots are super repressed in that regard so the cons started leaning into being sluts to stick it to the mech along with all the other freaks shit they're cool with. God help Blackarachnia, she goes from Autobot repression to all her coworkers being sluts on main and she Does Not Know what to do about that (also it would make a lot of sense if that's why she started leaning into the femme fatale thing so hard)

TFP

Megop is also Very Good here. Literally the most divorced robots to ever exist. Megatron NEEDS Optimus back and Optimus still holds a torch for megs, but it's so fucking funny because they're clearly on fundamentally different levels of "I miss you." Like Optimus is kinda sad and he does want the old Megatronus back, but Megatron does these whole fuckin elaborate stunts to get Optimus to pay attention to him again and then locks himself in his room with a pint of ice cream and dark energon to cry about him. Mans is NOT coping. Alternatively, Optimus is coping just as poorly on the inside and he really does still love Megatron just as much but he knows that's a selfish desire that he quiets with everything else he sacrifices about himself in the name of being a good leader. Least repressed Optimus.

Optiratch my beloved. Gay old men who would do anything for each other, even when they really don't agree on how to proceed. They're best friends, they're husbands, they're crushing on each other and they think it's unrequited, they just started dating, they've been married for eons. All of it works soooo well. They know each other well enough that they can communicate by just kinda grunting in specific ways. I need them to hold hands SO bad.

Bulkhead and wheeljack should get to kiss on the mouth I think. If Arcee can call Wheeljack Bulkhead's boyfriend, and bulkhead does not deny it, logic dictates they should in fact French kiss sloppy style for a whole minute on live TV. It can happen. Only on the hub.

KOBD are adorable together, they are so unhinged and stupid and they love each other so much. Like the team rocket of the nemesis. Breakdown loves his husband soooo much and knockout misses him so bad when Silas gets him. And you KNOW they're freaks bc knockout is totally convinced that breakdown would've loved seeing how he torments Silas in bd's body. He's probably right about it too.

I also wholly support Ms. June Darby for trying to seduce Optimus. Me too girl, get that robo ass. Go get jack a new cooler dad. It's also very cute to imagine Optimus, the bigass 30 foot robot, the stoic leader of the Autobots who keeps stonefaced through just about anything, flustered and crushing on a very small and very flirty human.

For some reason the show was kind of trying to tease Bulkhead x Arcee for exactly one episode and then never again and like. Look. I understand it was a forced het ship that was there to distract people from how gay they accidentally made the show. I know it'd probably just be Arcee rebounding after losing Cliffjumper. But I think them having a fwb type relationship while she works through her feelings could be interesting. Though this could just be because Bulkhead is big sweet and comforting and him holding anyone and making them feel safe while they're Going Through it is enough to get me saying God I Wish That Were Me.

Bumblebee and Smokescreen appeal to me in the same way seemingly very hetero frat bros who are apparently a very sweet and affectionate gay couple do. It's an inherently funny irony and also theyre just both cute himbos.

TFP Megastar is horrifically unhealthy in general and there is absolutely no way in hell it could work out. Not pre-war, not post-megs-redemption, nada. Which is why it has my brain in a chokehold. This is one of the ships I like because it's fascinating and because god it HURTS. Like I have my gripes with how the show portrayed the abuse overall but there were some things they were cooking with. Starscream being an obvious victim but then turning around and inflicting it on everyone around him? Girl no, the cycle of violence and abuse!!!! Girl no, you're refusing to do the complex emotional work of accepting that what happened to you wasnt okay and thus you carry out the behaviors you've gaslit yourself into thinking are normal!!!!!! Girl no, society has failed you and you have no support systems to help you break the cycles, but you also simply refuse to try in the first place because your pride wouldn't allow it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The cortical psychic patch was literally my fave showcase of their dynamic in the whole show. "I don't want to play this game anymore!" Like jfc ouch. Also the thought of post redemption Megatron lamenting how he treated Starscream, not having considered the damage he's done to him before now. Trying to make it right and only making it all worse by inserting himself into Starscream's life again and realizing how badly he's broken him, how fucked it is that Starscream seems to revere him after EVERYTHING. God. GOD. I'm in agony.

Rescue Bots

Speaking of starscream in the cycle of abuse, KOSS has postcanon potential. (Post Predacons Rising, rid does not exist 😌) Like. They've proven they feel some type of way about each other. "I've always admired your lustrous finish." "😏" But Knockout was the first person in starscream's life to set a boundary in a healthy way. And when starscream inevitably ignores those boundaries and knockout leaves, you know how much it fucking hurts starscream to realize how badly he fucked up. But of course, the pride. He can't apologize. Can't admit he's the reason knockout betrayed him. So he'll choke back the tears. He'll try to, anyway. But he can't stop the agony in his voice while he feebly spits out "Fine! I hope Unicron eats you too!!" You know the second they shut the door on him, the waterworks started, and so did the closest thing to self reflection Starscream's ever done. He Has the Potential to be Better with Knockout, but he NEEDS to put in the work, and the suspense of wondering if he WILL fucks my whole shit up.

It is so close to canon that blades and bumblebee are boyfriends. Hell I believe it pretty much IS canon. He loves that bug so much. He gets jealous when he hangs out with Dani and not him. He hugs him for a photo the first chance he gets. And since we know blades is confirmed as being into dudes, I think we all know what they were getting at. TFP bumblebee has an anxious twink boyfriend that lives in Maine and we have no idea whatsoever if the rest of team prime knows.

Graham and boulder pine for each other like you would not believe. Once again, pretty much canon. You can't just have boulder keep telling Graham "well I like you just how you are" when Graham's trying to impress a girl and expect me to not think he has a big stupid gay crush on his best friend. They love each other so much as partners and as friends, I know damn well they'd be SICKENINGLY cute together as boyfriends. They'd probably try to stealth it at first bc a human and a giant robot alien in love? What'll the others think?? Gotta keep it secret. Sneaking off into the woods so Boulder can work on his "art projects" but in fact they are kissing. They're not as slick as they think they are, Chief Burns 100% picks up what's going on but he lets them think they're sneaky. Nobody actually has any problems with it other than Kade making fun of them a little but don't worry that's just him projecting.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, Heatwave and Kade are the worst fucking tsunderes about crushing on each other. Between heatwave refusing to let down the brooding tough guy persona and kade being so insistent on staying hyper masculine (to the point where mild internalized homophobia is inevitable), neither of them can just be honest about how much they mean to each other and they gotta resort to getting each other's attention by being mean in very low stakes ways. I am drowning, there is no sign of land, you are coming down with me, hand in unloveable hand, except they're not drowning and they're just dunking each other in a kiddie pool repeatedly.

Heatwave and quickshadow are fun for similar reasons but with less shit lord pranks and/or lowbrow bitching, and more classy verbal sniping and sparring with each other because heatwave thinks it's hot when quickshadow kicks his ass. They're insufferably competitive and I think that could be very fun and incredibly messy, especially since they both need to learn how to communicate. Very bisexual, they are forced to share the brain cell, 10/10

I also just enjoy the idea of all the bots being in a polycule the same way I like the idea for TFA's team prime. They're very sweet together and they clearly care about each other a lot. Its just kind of nice when they all hold hands together, you feel me? They're sneaking off to kiss in the bunker bc they don't know if the humans know dudes can like other dudes. They are also not as subtle as they think they are.

Oh also doc Greene and chief burns dated once when they were teenagers and it didn't work out but they stayed besties, nobody can change my mind on this.

Beast Wars

Dinobot and Megatron are exes, 100%. Dinobot is probably the only being in the known universe that Megatron actually kind of cares about other than himself and his rubber duck. Otherwise he wouldn't keep trying to fucking clone him to make a version that will never leave him. There's also some implications here and there that Megatron really did want the world to be better for Predacons (along with the desire for power, anyway) and that preds are genuinely treated unfairly, so there's a pretty compelling angle of dinobot having been drawn to megatron because he saw someone with noble goals and a way to fix their fucked up world before becoming disillusioned with the dishonorable tyrant he turned out to be.

Dinobot and Optimus are also very good together bc it really truly feels like Dinobot finally found the guy with honor he thought he saw in Megatron. And he's infuriating half the time because he isn't nearly as bloodthirsty as he's used to, but GODDAMN does he make him Feel Things. The entire episode Gorilla Warfare has me obsessed with them. The bitching. Dinobot freaking the fuck out and Optimus tenderly removing the seed pod stuck to the back of his neck that was freaking him out and only laughing at him a little. Dinobot constantly trying to choose violence. The stupid smile when Optimus also chooses violence and Dinobot realizes he fucked up. THE BEDSIDE VIGIL. "It was my shift" AND YOU KNOW THEY WEREN'T TAKING SHIFTS. THE FLOWER ON THE BEDSIDE TABLE. "it is good to have you back." "Back home or back to normal?" "...both." THEY'RE HOMOSEXUAL, YOUR HONOR.

Dinobot (shit maybe I just really like dinobot) with Rattrap is good for similar reasons but the vibes are totally different. DoOp is all soft and sweet and patient and light ribbing, Dinotrap is talking shit at each other as a love language. Dinobot is a good guy but he's also, fundamentally, a bitch. Rattrap has proven he can match his freak by bitching right back. They love each other by pretending to hate each other. To the point where if Rattrap doesn't hear any comebacks he genuinely starts worrying because "oh, we aren't playing the game, why aren't you playing, are you okay?" They have so many soft tender moments where they prove they actually love each other. Their last conversation is talking shit!!!! "You're just a slag spouting saurian, but it's nice to know where you stand." "Upwind of you for preference, rodent." They loved each other!!!!!! Rattrap is fucked up over losing him!!!!!!!!!!! It's bittersweet, it's tragic, it hurts so bad and I love them so much!!!! They're stupid your honor!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a much sillier side, I do love Rattrap x Rhinox. Rattrap kissed that man twice. On the mouth. On screen. Annoying little gremlin who goes "nyehhhh" x big stoic dude who goes "hn." And they're both tech guys so they probably work on projects together a lot. And they all survive and are fine bc beast machines isnt real 💖

I have my problems with Silverbolt in general but I cannot deny that he and Blackarachnia are pretty damn cute together. He loves his girlfriend, they trash her shitty ex together, she loves that he doesn't try to change her. She gets to be the bad girl and the sweet knight in shining armor still loves her. "Dark poison of my heart" like c'mon.

Airazor and Tigatron are also pretty cute AND they have the honor of being the first canon gay couple in the tf franchise bc of the Japanese dub, which made Airazor a dude but left the romance unchanged (the Japanese dub was also just generally fuckin insane tho so it's not all that shocking).

Waspinator and Terrorsaur are boyfriends for real and for canon, John hasbro told me himself.

RiD 2001

I ship skybyte with that one girl that lives in a state of constant talking-car-based torment. Why? Because when I watched rid with my roommate we had a running joke that eventually they'd meet and have a whole robotfucker romcom arc and it kinda just stuck. This is my only rid ship and I will not be taking criticism on it.

Cyberverse

Bumblebee, Hot Rod and Cheetor are in a polycule together and nobody can tell me they aren't. Just how it's gotta be.

I want Perceptor and Dead End to kiss so badly. They're technically canon already given how hard the creators ship them. They hold hands your honor. "only a bolthead would go out there... UGH I'm such a BOLTHEAD" HES IN LOVE YOUR HONOR.

Hot Rod and Soundwave are great as enemies to lovers, they're so annoying 💖. I feel like they'd start playing gay chicken and be married with three kids wondering when the other guy is gonna back out.

SHOCKWAVE AND WHEELJACK OH MY GOD. fellas is it gay to program your drones which are just tiny versions of your own altmode to dance funny to Tetris music specifically because it makes your lame ass boyfriend laugh and then keep that function eons after you break up and still remember exactly what the command is? Fellas is it gay to get kidnapped by your ex and then get really excited about all the cool shit he's been making while you were separated? I wish they could've gotten a happy ending man, they could've been so cute together.

I don't ship it romantically but I believe in Grimlock & Arcee qpr. They love each other so so much they would've readily died for each other. I love their dynamic, they're insane 💖

Same goes for Shadowstriker and Soundwave tbh. Decepticon besties, and Shadowstriker being aro kinda just feels right. I like to think they cuddle and talk shit about Shockwave while Sounders blasts heavy metal. They play cod as the most insufferable duo.

Megop in cyberverse is so good because it really feels like they Had a relationship but it was unstable and moved too fast and they just assumed they were on the same page about things without communicating properly until suddenly they were in serious disagreement, and TRIED to work it out in a mature way but they were simply Doomed From the Start. And then it culminates in a whole fucking war but it rages so long, and they are so tired of fighting, and they realize they want to try again because nobody was really to blame for how things ended because they both handled it poorly. I wish they got that chance to try again properly. I wish when Optimus retired to just fuck around and vibe, he could've taken Megatron with him. I wish they could've fallen in love all over again.

Oh also Slipstream and Windblade being lesbian enemies to lovers bait was Fucking Phenomenal and I Love it So Much. They're smug and terrible and I want them to make out. They can make each other worse 💖

I have not seen that much of g1 but I do know a few things are absolute truth.

Soundwave is gay for Megatron. This is arguably reciprocated.

Shockwave is gay for Megatron. This is not reciprocated but it is taken advantage of.

Starscream vacillates between gay for Megatron and trying to kill him. Megatron seems to reciprocate but only a little bit. Enough to keep him alive because he's cute. But megs also gets a lot of cuteness aggression so he feels the need to chuck starscream against the wall every now and then.

Powerglide and Astoria are tied for the pinnacle of robot on human romance in the entire tf franchise with Tracks and Raul, and if none of them come back in ANY tf media, I will riot.

Cliffjumper and Mirage have fucked at least once.

Wheeljack and Ratchet are gay married.

Optimus is bisexual and he loves elita-1 but there is something distinctly homoerotic going on with Megatron.

Conclusion

I like when the robots kiss <3

#not polls #anon i hope this is what you wanted #bc once i get going i simply do not shut up.

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olivsie · 6 months

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Something I like about epic the musical is that it Gives it's changes to the original text an actual Purpose

( The first couple paragraphs are basically a rant regarding retellings. If you only want to hear about epic Skip to paragraph 4)

1. I am a bit annoyed by the lack of. Understanding as to why RETELLINGS aren't the most historicaly accurate things in the world. Sorry to break this to you, but that's both just how they work and I would guess how they reach success. Ancient Greece is a much different culture than our own, And most of us would be terrified to actually live back then. When you are Trying to create content That is based on ancient Greece And you want it to be successful/ At least reach a wide, and notably, MODERN audience. You're likely going to have to take some creative liberty And change a few things. Don't get me wrong, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIKE RETELLINGS KNOWING THAT FACT ( Me personally, I'm not the biggest fan of Miller's novels Even though I do like epic) BUT IT IS SOMETHING TO BE AWARE OF. And because of that I don't think I would ever expect a retelling to be perfectly accurate And I don't. I had interest in mythology LONG before epic the musical But I didn't actually read the Odyssey until getting into epic. I did not expect it To be just like the musical, I knew Odysseus was going to be much more of an asshole, along with other characters. The odyssey and epic are different pieces of media to me And I am not less of a mythology nerd for liking epic ( Though I will admit that sometimes I take tiny little fun facts of mythology And like to think of them in the context of epic, but that's just for fun.)

2. The Only time being a fan of retellings is wrong as if you genuinely believe they are perfectly accurate And refuse to listen to anything else ( Which has definitely happened, And mythology nerds have the right to be annoyed at that)

3. Some people only like to consume real mythology media, Others like both real mythology and retellings, Others only like to engage with retellings (I would hope they have the self-awareness to know It's not real mythology, From what I've seen some do and some don't, Unfortunately)

4. Ok. now on to what the title of this long ass rant says

I like that epic the musical Retells the story, Not only to both cater to modern audience But Also with its OWN purpose of man versus monster.

Obviously, this is not the point of the original text. Mythos Odysseus does not give a single fuck About the stuff that epic odysseus does. I don't know why the creator Decided to rewrite it this way, (If he's ever said why let me know) But I would assume he wanted to make something about the oddessy And this was simply a very creative way to Translate that for modern audience.

I like this because, yes, holy damn. It does have changes from the original text. But it's not JUST changing it. It's changing it with a purpose

It feels reminiscent of some kind of Dramatic play. the way that epic characterizes.

Polites' kind nature is Representative of the Concept of being merciful Represented in his lines such as " This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms" /"There is so much guilt inside your heart, So why not replace it?"

While in contrast you have eurylochus with more ruthlessness and cautious nature, this is Found in some of his lines such as "You rely on wit, and people die on it" /"we don't know what's ahead" / "I say we strike first. We don't have time to waste so lets raid the place-" /"Let's just cut our losses, You and I and let's run"

And then you have Odysseus, the man/monster. The first act of this Musical is his internal struggle With what He should be On that scale. And the other characters Represent this struggle in the song monster

" Is the cyclops struck with gilt when he kills, is he up in the middle of the night? Or does he end my men to avenge his friend and then Sleep knowing he has done him right?

When the witch turns men to pigs to protect her nymphs, is she going insane? Or did she learn to be colder when she got older and now she saves them the pain?

When a God comes down and makes a Fleet drown Is he scared that he's doing something wrong? Or does he keep us in check So we must respect him and now no one dares to piss him off"

He then Applies this to himself

" Does a soldier use a wooden horse to kill sleeping trojans cause he is vile? Or does he throw away his remorse and save more lives with guile?"

And this marks his turning point of deciding that Ruthlessness It's ultimately worth it if it means Getting home, as aeolus says "The end Always justifies the means"

It's in my opinion, a very creative way to go about retelling a myth. Is it accurate? Absolutely not. For example, circe (From what we know) is not protecting When she turns men into pigs, For all we know, she could just do it because Shits and giggles.

Her character and most others in epic is changed from the original. But it's not ONLY changing for the sake of apeling to the modern Western audience and being successful like Many other retellings. It is also and mainly changing for the sake of influencing the plot that Jorge Rivera herrans crafted For the sake of Retelling epic. It is creative and I enjoy it despite knowing it's not accurate.

#epic the musical #odysseus #the oddyssey #tagamemnon #the iliad #greek mythology #again you do not need to like epic the musical or any other retellings #you are allowed to only like greek mythology itself #as a history enjoyer i understand the frustration and think its COMPLETELY valid to be annoyed when someone uwu's a figure #hell i would be annoyed if someone did that to the EPIC THE MUSICAL version of odysseus #he's still an asshole he's still a killer and a liar in epic just a lot more guilty about it then he would be in the oddessy #if all retelling fans had self awareness that its just a retelling and didn't “soft boi” either myth or retelling #i think we'd all be much happier

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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 7 months

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HEYY girl 💗 could I req a bam x fem reader where they’re enemies to lovers becuase y/n is just as reckless as he is?? Thank you 🫶

The Stuntgirl Rule

Bam breaks the one rule the crew all agreed on when they first added a girl to the group, which wouldn’t be as big of a deal if they didn’t hate each other. All this animosity builds and builds until Y/N finally figures out how to knock Bam down a peg.

Bam Margera X Fem!Reader

(Fluff, Angst)

3.8k Words

Warnings: Extremely suggestive content, enemies to lovers, crude language, blood, snakes, misogyny, Madonna-Whore complex, injuries, hospitals, flirting, slut shaming, situationships

An: Thank you so much for the request!! I’ve come to find out I really do love writing for enemies to lovers pairings :) More than that, I got to do a lot of research for this fic with psychological complexes, especially (as the tags indicate) the Madonna-Whore complex!! If you can’t tell by now, I’m a bit of a nerd when it comes to writing XD I also experimented with making Bam a bit of an unreliable narrator in this one to wort of show his thought process better. I’ve been told my writing takes the asshole out of him but I’m pretty sure this fic put it right back in, so be warned! If you want an idea of the dynamic I was going for, the dynamic betwen Bam and Y/N reminded me a lot of this clip from the 2016 revival of the musical, Falsettos! Ah, my theater kid past…But thank you for the request and please keep sending more!!

Kneeling on the grass, you sat eye to eye with the King Cobra you somehow got a permit to film with. The whole “Kiss of Death” stunt got shuffled around to a couple of the other guys before it landed on you but hell, you couldn’t complain- dangerous shit was kinda your thing, and otherwise the next person in line would’ve been Bam and you knew exactly how that would turn out- the yelling, the laughing, the storming off set. All the guys stood around, looming over you with bated breaths as you slowly leaned over the snake, the hot Florida sun beating down on your skin as the air swam with anticipation. But as you were creeping in, right before your lips made contact with the Cobra’s forehead, the thing lunged at your neck. Everybody hooted and hollered as you grabbed the snake and lurched back in an act of quick reflexes, chuckling in surprise, but before you could crack some wise ass joke, your cockiness betrayed you and that smug grin on your face was wiped right off your face when you felt a pair of fangs sink into your wrist. “Agh! Fuck…” Yanking your hand back, you shook out the sting as you stumbled to your feet. Steve, who was serving as impromptu cameraman after Rick ‘refused any part in your dangerous bullshit’, focused the lense in on the blood that was tricking from your arm, “Shit…that’s gnarly, dude.” Though you probably should have been concerned for yourself, you couldn’t stop thinking about how awesome it looked as Johnny patted you on the back appreciatively, “That was great, Y/N!”

As you were getting walked to the medic tent, the only one who didn’t want any part in your little victory parade was Bam, still sitting half slumped back on set, glaring at you as you walked away. Big whoop, girl gets bit by snake. Last week he got on a teeter totter in the bullpen and you don’t see that on any headlines. Maybe he hated the way the guys talked and joked with you like you were one of them even though you joined the Jackass cast less than a month ago. On the other hand, maybe he was still pissed off by the very real but entirely unspoken ‘Don’t Fuck the Stuntgirl’ rule. Of course Bam brought that sorta thing up when you first joined because he’ll there’s a lot you can do once you’ve got a chick in your group, but Johnny quickly shut the idea now by saying since they wouldn’t screw any of the other guys in the crew, they’d be keeping their hands off of you. Keeps things from getting awkward when you gotta see eachother on Monday, you know? But since Bam’s running theory of you only having gotten on set after getting into Knoxville’s pants hadn’t been disproven, he wrote it off as him making the whole thing up to keep the pretty girl all to himself. Greedy asshole. Who was he to say what he could and couldn’t stick his dick into? God, he bet the whole crew was passing you around- behind trailers, in empty hotel rooms, or what about those porta-potties on set…Bam decided to stop thinking about that once some things got stirred in his mind he didn’t really want to think about too long.

Getting bandaged up in the medic tent, you hardly noticed when Bam walked in after everybody left, watching quietly and scanning you up and down from where he stood. He looked from the bruises on your knees Bam was sure he knew the source of, to your baggy clothes that always made you look like a guy with the way they sat on your body, to your hair that was unkempt and showed just how little you cared about your appearance in his eyes. You were the exact opposite of Bam’s type in women- that dark lipstick tight bootcut fantasy goth chick with a great ass that also wasn’t a bitch. Looking up from where you were bleeding through your gauze, you made eye contact with him nonchalantly, “What is it?” Bam’s eye twitched at the disinterested tone in your voice but he kept up the whole smug thing, “You cryin’?” The medic had to scoot out of the way as you leaned in towards him and squinted at the realization that Bam was getting that whole ‘hating you’ stick up his ass again. “Does it look like I’m crying?” Part of him wanted to see you cry. Bam’s eyes drifted back to your hair, thinking about how satisfying it would be to grab a handful of it and yank you to your feet with his lips pressed tight against your ear as he said every awful word he was too nice to say to your face- that he knew everything about nasty hoes like you worked, and while it was cute how quickly the guys took to you, he was getting pretty damn sick of it so it was time for you to get the hint and hit the road. But he didn’t.

The medic passed you a container of pills that you palmed and that’s when Bam got an idea, “That snake oughta be on antibiotics instead’a you.” Scoffing at his unoriginal joke, you cocked your head to the side, “Really? You think a little blood’s that nasty? Y’damn baby…” Outside the tent, there was no doubt amongst the guys that another one of your petty fights were starting and nobody was looking forward to it. Well, except you. You found the little bickering thing you had with him fun, especially with all the weak ass insults Bam threw at you. “I mean, anything that comes outta you’s nastier than whatever Steve-O’s got goin’ on in him- that guy’s a disease nest.” This was too easy. “Yeah, says the guy who let him tongue his ass wound...” Wait, you were at that party too- the one where Steve popped ecstasy and went around kissing everyone cause he ‘felt good’? Bam’s jaw clenched at the way you always had an answer to him- how dare you one up him. He jabbed a finger at your chest, “Oh, don’t talk that shit. You wouldn’t even have the balls to get branded in the first place!” Unable to help yourself from cracking a smile, your giddiness was apparent in your voice, “I got more balls than you do.” As much as you hated how much of a little bitch he could be, you always thought the back and forth thing you had between him wasn't ever that serious (a contrast to the way Bam viewed it). Delight filled you as he stormed out of the flap of the white medical tent, blushing and emasculated and- while he would never admit this, kind of turned on by the angry banter like it was some kinda foreplay.

You needed soap. That’s how it started- after shooting one day, you went back to the hotel and noticed halfway through your shower that the room service lady forgot to leave any of those tiny complimentary soaps. Groaning, you got out of the comfortable, warm, sorely needed shower and put on a towel, thinking you could go next door and get some from the guys. It’s not like you hadn’t seen them naked before, so them seeing you in a towel was no big deal. Water dripped off of your legs as you walked out into the hallway, pushing open the door to their room which was left unlocked. From what you could tell, they had gone to the hotel bar promptly after filming, so you didn’t bother to announce your presence as you walked in. However, you had one major oversight in this- Bam, who you didn’t notice from where he was sitting on one of the beds on the near side of the room. Now, you and him could have gone on just hating and fucking with each other and everything would’ve been fine, but this one incident would change it.

From where he sat on the bed, Bam silently watched as you walked around like you owned the place, softly humming to yourself as you rummaged through their shower- through his shower, the towel you wore riding up dangerously high on the backs of your thighs, skin still glistening wet as you bent over, nabbing a few little bottles of shampoo and conditioner. He glared at you with contempt through your reflection in the mirror. You’d probably do this even if the whole crew was here, wouldn’t you? Just stroll on in, nearly naked, parading yourself around in front of all those dudes like it was nothing. Shameless. He knew better than anything what that kinda porno logic setup would devolve into. Wait- christ, was he…? Oh, oh yeah. Yep. Bam couldn’t believe himself- he was actually getting hard. More than that, you had no clue he was there in the first place even as you turned to leave, and you wouldn’t have noticed him at all if he didn’t stand up to catch your attention. “What’re you doin’?” Turning around, you met Bam’s gaze, maybe six inches away from his body as you held up your towel with one hand and presented him your spoils in the other, “I’m getting soap…?” Unceremoniously plucking one of the bottles from your hands, he squinted at you like he was accusing you of something, “So you think y’can just waltz on in here and take my shit whenever you feel like it?”

Looking around at the empty room, you got an idea to really get under his skin. You know how Bam uses his little rich boy MTV paycheck to get whatever he wants? Well your pockets may not be lined as generously but you still found a way. Taking a step forward, you pressed your body right up against his, the same way you saw all those flirty girls do to him at the bar, letting your towel slip down a little as your voice dropped into a teasing coo, trying to provoke him, “Aww, what’s the matter? You don’t like sharing?” While you were referring to the soap, Bam took it as a double entendre and thought there was no way you didn’t mean it in the way he was thinking- what with the way your chest was squished tight against his torso or how you were practically straddling his thigh in, and this is important here, only a towel. In your eyes, this was the same as any other day you were going back and forth on set, but Bam, oh. He could feel the surge of hormones in his bloodstream as his breath caught in his throat, Adam’s apple bobbing slightly. The way your body was curving against his nearly made him forget about why he hated you so much. Snapping back to reality, he couldn't tell if this was anger or lust that made him speechless, but it was probably a mix of the two. Leaning in closer, you pressed your lips close to your ear, his very obvious state of arousal only fueling your teasing as you words fell slow, melodically from your lips as you enunciated, trying to keep yourself from laughing and fucking it all up. “I’m gonna take this soap back to my room, and I am going to rub it over every inch of my wet. Naked. Body- and you are gonna do nothing about it. So, uh…” Reaching out with a grin, you grabbed the bottle back from Bam’s frozen hand. Now, logic would dictate that this is right about when the two of you would say fuck it and start going at eachother, but that’s not what you had in mind. “Thanks!” Slipping out the door and shutting it loudly, you left him standing there- unable to respond, entirely conflicted, and hard. Fuck.

Why was this happening? He was Bam Margera- Bam fucking Margera- he could have hordes of playboy bunnies folowing him arround wherever he want and fawning over him like their lives depended on it, but noooo. He had to fall for the gross chick he worked with. Perfectly fine, well-adjusted (debatable) women literally threw themselves at his feet on a day to day basis, and the one he’s got his eye set on? Yeah, last week she was doing lines of Tabasco sauce with Steve-O off the table at Denny’s cause they got bored waiting for their food. What a catch. He didn’t even want to meet up with the guys to go pick up chicks at the bar anymore- you know, the civilized kind that wore makeup and shoes you couldn’t skateboard in. And you didn’t even want him the way those girls wanted him- you were messing with his head like some succubus. Very quietly, he sat back down in the bed and thought about some things.

Bam was having a hard time letting everything that was happening with you go- that’s not the kind of guy he is, you know? Too many big feelings in a small package gotta go somewhere. So when he showed up on set the next day, hyped up to do that stunt where he was set to get shot by a riot control shotgun wearing nothing but a leather jacket for protection, his emotions were not in any way subdued when he caught word that Knoxville gave the stunt to you. “Dude!” Storming up to confront him, Bam pulled the asshole away from whatever conversation he was having with Jeff, “I mean, seriously? You got Y/N to do the stunt and not me?” Sticking his hands up in a mercy gesture, Johnny stammered but managed to explain himself, “I’m just sayin, man- It’d work better for her! You know- you have your skating stuff, she’s got the dangerous stuff! You could always watch from the sidelines…” Yeah, real nice save there, Knoxville. Bam hated whenever you did stunts- not because he didn’t like that you were equally as reckless as him, no way- it’s just that he thought chicks shouldn’t be doing dangerous shit, and you were always there to throw yourself in harm's way, and that annoyed him. You were standing off to the side, joking around with Chris and Steve when you felt someone suddenly grab your shoulder from behind and roughly spin you around to face him, “You know, I had some fuckin’ ideas about you, Y/N, but this really takes the cake.” Grimacing, you stood eye to eye with Bam, a little too close to his body to be comfortable. “What the hell are you talking about?” Bam took a step back, eyeing you up and down as he got ready to say what had been eating away at him for weeks. His voice was tense as he nearly growled, “You’re fuckin’ Knoxville.” What?

“Wait, I’m fucking Knoxville?” You certainly were not, but your mind put two and two together lightning fast, tracing his train of thought. It was like a switch flipped in you as rage curled up in your stomach, springing out of your mouth in words that dripped with venom, “Oh, please! You’re probably takin’ it up the ass from all of ‘em!” It was only natural that you would deny it- I mean, it’s kinda taboo for people to admit that they’re sleeping with their boss. But Bam couldn’t summon the words he needed to use to defend himself from what you claimed, so he said the only words his anger-fried brain could come up with, “Fuck you!” Flashing a grin, you got all in his personal space as your voice went from anger to condescension, “Oh, you wish.” Back to the snarky shit with this woman. Okay, maybe he did, but that was none of your business. Bam pressed his lips together as he could feel the tips of his ears heating up, and he couldn’t tell if he was getting flustered from the way you were challenging him or how correct what you were insinuating was. The fact that your lips were nearly touching his wasn't helping either. Taking advantage of your close proximity, Bam quickly reached out and snatched the shotgun from where you were gripping it and dashed off.

Oh, you said Bam had no balls? Yeah, he’s got more balls than the tri-state lottery, bitch. Shoving the gun into Ryan’s hands, he didn’t even notice when Rick started filming from where he was setting up the camera for the stunt you were supposed to do. Stepping back, Bam smacked his own chest twice in a challenging gesture, looking at his best friend but saying words he wanted to say to you, “C’mon, man. Hit me. Do it!” Knowing better than anyone the way he could get into these kinds of moods, Ryan knew the only way to talk him down was to go along with whatever stupid plan he had in mind. Groaning, he steadied the sight on where Bam was standing, aiming for his stomach where it would result in the least damage, and pressed his finger against the trigger. This loud, sickening whip cracking sound made everyone on set jump. The man on the other end of the barrel doubled over with this noise you only hear out of dying animals, falling to the ground with a thump as every ounce of air wooshed out of his lungs in a second. It was the way Bam looked like roadkill with how he curled up on the ground, not making a sound or movement, that made you feel a shred bad for him for the very first time. Looking around, you were the first person to call out, “…Medic?”

Internal bleeding they said. Three broken ribs on account of Dunn’s stellar marksmanship and a gnarly bruise, or so you heard from when the guys gathered around his bedside and were all gasps and oohs after Bam pulled down the sheets in when Steve asked to take a look at it. But after everyone was done grimacing and telling him how awesome the footage would turn out, they flooded out the door and the only person who remained was you, smugly sitting in one of those stiff hospital chairs as Bam lay across from you in his bed, hooked up to electrodes and shit like they do in movies. But there was something different in your eyes as you got up to his bedside- not so much your usual loathing towards him, but more so fascination. Bam got knocked down a peg, and you were satisfied knowing his ego was bruised alongside those abs of his he so loved to flaunt.

Bam’s words came out in a weak mumble as he looked up at you, “What d’you want?” As much as he tried to appear all tough and be a big angry man, you couldn’t help but find the sight of him laying back with his hair a little messy and that glossy look in his eyes from the epidural kinda cute with how vulnerable he was. He couldn’t make fun of you when he was at your mercy like this, what with not being able to even sit up on his own, much less fight or come up with any worthwhile insults. With one finger, you pointed down to the swollen, dark purple mark on Bam’s pale skin, lit up from the light flooding in the window. You nearly snickered, “I wanna touch it.” Crossing his arms over his chest, Bam scoffed at your suggestion, “Fine, whatever….It doesn’t even hurt- oh, fuck!“ Recoiling when you poked the tender bruise, Bam nearly let out a whimper as he winced, pain shooting through his chest. Letting out a breathy groan, he muttered, his head falling back against the pillow, “Don’t- don’t do that…” Part of you wanted to laugh at him, call him a pussy, and go find out wherever the other guys were headed, but another part of you, maybe one you went too eager to own up to, couldn’t deny that he looked kind of pretty when he got fucked up, all fragile and defeated. Like it activated something primal in you, this unconscious attraction towards broken things. You came to the realization that, when that mouth and that attitude of his wasn’t fucking it up, he was pretty hot.

The thing is, both of you liked each other, but neither were too eager to jump at that whole romcom style ‘confessing your feelings’ thing, so for the next few weeks, you tried to keep up the whole hating each other charade. Like when you and him were on the mini-ramp Chris hauled to set with his truck to give you something to do in between filming, and Bam just kept messing up whatever trick he was intent on doing that day. Up he’d go, then down to the plywood with a slam that left him a shiny new bruise- back and forth. “Y’know, it’s a lot easier to do tricks once you’ve learned to stay on your board.” You taunted, kicking up your board to stand on the one side of the ramp. But as he was about to reply with some smart ass response, Bam nailed whatever stupidly over complicated thing he was attempting. “Hahaha! Yes!” Popping his board up with one foot and, turning to you with a triumphant grin, he did one of those victory crotch grabs. “Suck it!” Ignoring the fact that, given the right circumstances, you probably would’ve taken him up on that offer, you rolled your eyes, looking him up and down in a way you hoped looked sarcastic as you spat, “Yeah, in your dreams.” Still, while the venom in your words was still there, it was dulled in a way, like a swallowing a spoonful of sugar after bitter medicine. “Oh, I’d rather rip my dick off and shove it up my ass before I let you suck it!” Bam had the same shitty comebacks as ever.

And the fact that you two were phoning it in wasn’t lost in the slightest on the rest of the guys. They’d try to drop hints to Bam and say that if he’s got the hots for you that it’d be a good idea to try not being an asshole for once, but he’d just laugh them off and tell them that that’s what chicks like nowadays- assholes. But they had no clue. All anyone else knew was that the seemingly boiling hatred you had for each other had melted into a mere simmer, practically friendly banter. Maybe Bam didn’t hit the mark when he said you were fucking the whole crew, but was right about you being shameless, as he would come to find out a few weeks into whatver the two of you had going on. But now, he wasn't one to complain when you pulled him behind a trailer on set, or into an empty hotel room- hell, even into one of those porta-potties on set. Honestly, it was just like how he imagined.

#jackass #bam margera #johnny knoxville #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #fluff #angst #jackass x reader #bam margera x reader

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just-an-assbutt · 9 months

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just follow up on your last post about charles and max, i've always found the narrative weird (and I think it's because oftentimes people who write max only see him on race weekends). in reality, max has even been described as quite shy off track but once he's comfortable, like in videos with daniel or the redbull crew, you can see he literally loves pleasing people and being funny. like the way he waits for every joke to land and watches people react. even in the cool down room you can always see him waiting for a chance to talk to people and he's always extra happy when they want to discuss stuff. he seems like a major people pleaser to me off the track and someone's who eager to go along with things. again, not claiming this is reality but just based on what we get to see

I totally agree with this! Specially since I was once one of those people. I first started watching only the races and, frankly, the only thing I cared about was just watching them race. But my dad is a huge F1 nerd (and loves to gossip) so he kind of ended up forcing me to learn about them outside of the track to gossip with me and that made me like Max a little more.

I used to dislike Max, because ��race Max” is usually an asshole, he talks horrible to GP, complains a lot and is a bit too cocky. And Charles is the contrary, he doesn’t talk back to Xavi (even if he should), spends most of his time trying to solve things instead of complaining and is pretty humble. So I liked Charles more and Max less. Then my dad, a Lewis fan, started sending me memes daily and slowly I started to learn a little about the drivers off the track. I had always been a Vettel fan (still am) and then started to like Lewis a lot. But, of course, most of the things my dad sent me were against Max. It took me some personal effort to go and try to find things about him that weren’t negative. That’s when I started liking him more. Once you look at Max not high on adrenaline, you get to see a totally different person. Like you say Annon, he is shy and likes to ramble a lot to people, he waits eagerly for his jokes to land and closes off when he’s uncomfortable.

Charles is usually a person that makes him feel comfortable enough to ramble his heart out, the usual victim of Maxplaining. And you can see how important is for Max to tell Charles things. He runs from wherever he is to where Charles is just to talk to Charles, and you can always see Charles ready to be there and listen to him for an hour while Max lets it all out. I remember a cool down room this year that it’s a great example of that. Max was closed off, no idea why because his race hasn’t been that bad, Checo was there and even through he tried to make Max open up he couldn’t. I believe that Checo and Max are on great terms, but Max needs a pretty specific environment to be friendly and open with people he’s not too close to. Anyways, Charles walked in and saw that Checo was unsuccessfully trying to make Max talk a little bit and decided to help out. He remembered that Max complained about the wind during the race, so he brought that up. It got Max going instantly, his face and posture changed and he started rambling none stop about the wind and the effect it had on the car, like Charles didn’t know two things about aerodynamics. Checo smiled and stood there, listening to Max talk and he shared a little look with Charles, like he was thanking him. Even Charles knows how much Max loves to tell him things.

(Yes guys, keep sending asks and I’ll keep rambling, I’m like Max, I can never stop talking about F1).

#charles leclerc #max verstappen #lestappen #f1

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collectiveclams · 6 months

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Trying my best to figure out what these guys look like in my head before I go look at the fandom’s generalized designs for the characters.

A friend of my twin got us into the show and a week later we’re at season 8!

I definitely need to tweak Cole’s design a lot- I want him to have a more strongman build & revamp his entire face design. But at the very least I’m happy with getting his hair the way I want!

Kinda hard to see, but Zane’s got little screws for earrings! I honestly didn’t account for how much older the faceplate would make him look, I intended him to look way more boyish.

Rambling about my current HCs of the Ninja’s appearances below:

I’ve been having a bit of an trouble deciding what various flavor of Chinese & Japanese these dudes should be based on. Considering the show is based on a 2010s vague idea of “Asia” and carries traits of both Japanese & Chinese influence, I’m just going to use both. I don’t know what sorta general consensus the fandom has of their appearances bc I have barely interacted with the fandom, so if this violently contrasts with that then yippee I have original thoughts, I guess.

-Kai is Japanese. Kai, being vain and caring more about training than Jay for example, has a more aesthetic build that’s definitely form more than function. Like a natty powerlifter who’s not competing. I’m not sure what height he should be, but if he’s taller his muscle definition would appear smaller so I’ll have to keep that in mind.

- Nya has initially a more functional build- far less muscle definition than her brother. Not outwardly buff and doesn’t have pronounced muscles, but can fairly easily haul a 100lb hunk of metal from a scrap pile to her workbench. But after becoming the water ninja, her new training gives her more pronounced muscle definition. Initially shorter than Kai but grows taller as the show goes on.

- Cole is southern Chinese. He’s got a strongman heavy set build. I envision him as fairly short so his muscles can be a little more pronounced. If you stripped his muscle definition from his ninja training away, I still want him to look like one of assholes who haven’t worked out a day in their lives but still somehow looks jacked.

- Zane is what pops up when you look up “Chinese teen male stock photo” because he needs to look like The Most Generic person ever. No muscle definition at all on this dude. He’s a nindroid & so there’s no need to include muscle decision to show that he’s strong. He’s either average height or slightly on the shorter side bc gravity is a bitch and the taller make a humanoid robot, the more balance becomes a bitch to deal with. So average height or short Zane it is.

- Jay is Uyghur so I can get this dude his reddish-brown hair. Minor muscle definition. His isn’t for aesthetics like Kai, he’d rather do ninja training than do the types of sets & pushing to failure needed to achieve more pronounced muscle definition for aesthetic lifting. Jay needs to be shorter than Nya. He’s definitely taller than Cole but I need him to be just an inch shorter than Nya because that’s funny to me personally.

- Lloyd is Japanese. Solely because Oni come from Japan & I got spoilered that Gargamon is an Oni later. Lloyd is a stringy ass kid at first & has no muscle definition at all. During his Green Ninja training before the Travelers Tea, he’d be trained for efficiency & not for aesthetics with the deadline of him fighting his father possibly being around any corner. After Travelers Tea he likely kept his training to function over aesthetics and would share similar muscular definition to Jay & Nya. And he’s tall. His dad is tall as shit with 4 arms. I want this kid to go through the Worst gangly teen era anyones ever seen and only barely fit his form once he finishes growing.

Additional thoughts:

And as a big comic nerd who owns around 800+ comics (might be more around 1000 now?), hoo boy I have so many thoughts on Lloyd and Jay liking Starfarer. I cannot wait to make a fic that’s just Lloyd and Jay ganging up against Kai over some incredibly wrong take of the comic he absentmindedly said and trapping him in a 3 hour long conversation about frequent mischaracterization and mishandling of the characters in Starfarer & how what Kai said was wrong. I just need a fic of Jay and Lloyd talking to each other about their favorite runs of Starfarer and complaining about a tie-in/crossover comic that’s written particularly bad, or complaining how an author completely misunderstood Fitz Donnegan or complaining over an author change & etc. I just need to make a fic of these boys talking about average comic book fan things.

#ninjago #ninjago fanart #cole brookstone #zane julien #ninjago cole #ninjago zane #clam writes #calm art #i got about 30 plot bunnies at least for this show already and got twin who doesn’t care about spoilers to see if fics like the ones I was #thinking of existed. and apparently not?? so I guess I’ll have to post some prompts on here as well #bc my carpal tunnel won’t let me write whole fics but I sure can write out tiny little ideas #and there’s not any fics of zane turning into a human and dealing with the weird experience that is what it’s like to live in a human body??#like I went on ff.net as well and tried to see if any were there but no??? there’s none?? I’m baffled.

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a-traveling-void-human · 7 days

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Prompt I stole from Reddit and implied tons of BKDK to!!

[Part 1: Izuku having a Quirk before OFA.]

If you came up with this Idea, please tell me so I can credit you. Sorry I have to steal- I just want to talk about these topics without seeing dudebros shitting because I include BK or BKDK

Also this post might be focusing too much on Izu so uh..

Izuku having a quirk is so.. weird and yet it's fucking interesting! Like, Ao3 does these too but I specifically only stealing from reddit because how I want a more friendly place to talk about these ideas and make it to BKDK somehow.

First prompt: Pinkie Pie! 💕🌸

This is actually not a quirk specifically but more like Izuku being pinkie pie and have this chaotic sense of energy that I think that can fit him well! Like Imagine, Baby Izuku who is told that he's quirkless and YET he still have abilities of Pinkies.

Example:

Objects appearing from his fluffy green hair (Notebooks, Pens, Cupcake (Huh?), Glitter- and more)

"Deku-sense" like Pinkie sense, but less twitchy and Izuku just, have this, weird six sense.

4th wall breaking, but less intrusive than Pinkie? Since this ability don't really make sense in MHA world

Fast. Zoomies. He is like a orange cat when being provoked.

When sad, his hair deflates- It's weird.. but this rarely happened.

(and many more)

Kids probably either bully him less or just thinks Izuku is weirder here in this world. But Low-key, I like to think that people kinda use him in this world because he throws the BEST birthday parties.

What's Kacchan like in this AU?

I like to think that Katsuki bother Izuku less in this AU. Like, sure. Deku doesn't have a quirk.. but, hOW DID HE GET A FUCKING CANON OUT OF NO WHERE?!?!? He will not admit it, but he probably thinks that Deku's so fucking cool.. and honestly? He won't admit it.. that every gift that Deku gift for his birthday is being kept and taken care of with love. Kacchan totally have a separate shelf to display all the gifts Izuku gave him over the years.

Deku is known to be attached to Kacchan and Kacchan just, let's him. No bark and such. He probably have a low-key crush on Izuku and he FUCKING HATES IT. (no he doesn't :3)

This might be mean or nonsensical but I think the main issue in this AU for Izuku is not, the bullies (Yes bullies will still exist in this AU, Kacchan won't really be as involved.) It's the teachers.. Many fics has Aldera being, kinda an assholic school and I kinda like that HC so I'm involving this shit in my stolen prompts.

Izuku will STILL be quirkless so.. Teachers don't really, like Izuku. He is an enigma and he stands out WITHOUT having a "good" quality, that are powerful quirks. (I have a bad experience with school, so I'm projecting a bit)

There are Mean students that takes Kacchan's place but like Canon, Izuku doesn't give a fuck about them and just be the best him he could to others.

Izuku's goals and personality

Izuku's personality in this AU doesn't really go far from Canon. He's still a baby- He is still a nerd, he loves All might and he still wants to be a hero. But the emphasis of Izuku wanting to be a hero that save people with a Smile will be more pushed in this AU. Like, Izuku wants to SEE others smile and he will make sure that everyone can genuinely be happy.

He is also slightly more confident in this AU. He doesn't keep himself hidden most of the time, but rather he stands out (neurodivergent much), and he will have this reputation of "A trouble maker.. but a very kind one"

Very cheerful and having a smile that beams. Others who bullies this boy must be blind because LOOK AT HIM.

LOOK AT HIM!!

HOW COME PEOPLE BE MEAN TO THIS BEAN?!?!

But YEAH! Nothing really change much, but he does sing and smile more and probably mutters more than usual.

Also, a small dialog I like to think that might happened in this AU:

Kacchan: Izuku, The "ku" part can also be read as DEKU. A fitting name for a nerd like you nerd!

Deku: Oh!! "Deku" as in like "Dekiru" right? Like "you can do it"? That's amazing Kacchan!!

Kacchan: N-NO!! DEKU AS IN FUCKING USELESS YOU USELESS NERD!!!

Deku: Oh, eh- *Ignores the useless part lmao-*

Kacchan: *Is seething but also blushing because anger!! of course it's anger!!! Not Deku being fucking adorable- nope!*

In this AU Izuku will be more forward with his intentions on befriending his Kacchan-

Also Imagine Izuku fighting and suddenly a fucking glitter canon appears our of nowhere and it is aim AT you. I will run if I were you.

What about OFA?

Technically, Izuku will still be quirkless so he can still get OFA. But he got OFA differently- It doesn't take him saving Kacchan from the sludge villain, but from him using "Deku-sense" to accidentally saving people and having All might finding out about this fact.

Deku in this world is more, accepting of his quirkless status and firmly believes he can be a Hero with what he has. So, All might, kinda observe this weird boy who just so happens to do his job before he could do it.. and he did it in a more, kinder way- Like he would literally just stop a robbery by giving him a cupcake while the villain cry, and Izuku listening to the villain's reason on robbing without judgements. All might as Toshinori will probably also interact with Izuku because Izuku saw Toshinori kind of sitting alone and sad looking so he gave him a cupcake or something. Then the OFA talks just, naturally comes up as Toshinori asked Izuku if he wants to be his successor.

Izuku also, will not keep this quirk a secret to his Kacchan. In this AU, Izuku is somehow will ROPE Kacchan into the OFA secret early. Why? Deku-sense said so. Kacchan stays because he doesn't want the idiot to die or something, and now Toshinori has two sons-/j

Second prompt: Blue diamond🔹💙

This one is a quirk, but with some bullshit, he still has a toe joint.. where the doctor just diagnosed him as quirkless. He's technically, in the case where there is quirk singularity but I'm not too sure about my knowledge in quirks to actually accurately say shit right now. So when we get to OFA, I'll just say that his quirk is not a quirk bit still a quirk but not really but-

Okay. So, Blue diamond! Her abilities is straight forward, but we'll only focused on the extra empath abilities she have for Izuku. And Tears. Lot's of TEARS.

For this quirk, Izuku isn't aware of his abilities but others does suspect something wrong with him.

When he cries in pain, others will flinch. When he cries in happiness, others will be in pure joy. when he cries in anger, others will be angry FOR him. and when he cries in sadness, others will FEEL his emotional anguish. Of course, no one really connect shit and just assume him crying bring guilt to their fault ass. This is actually the drive that Kacchan needs to be better (We'll talk about that later.)

This ability for Izuku's actually make him a prime person to be easily trusted somehow. Like, other's will trust him no questions ask because when he eventually cries near others, others will know his feelings are genuine.

Tl;dr Izuku brings the best in others by crying✨

What's Kacchan like in this AU?

Being the main tormentor for Izuku's life does brings some perks in a fucked up way. Because the more Izuku cries (even just a little) at Kacchan's mean words, the more Kacchan ask himself if these actions worth anything. He might not like to admit it but when Izuku cries in sadness, he ALWAYS get fucking guilty and starting to question his whole believes earlier. He second guess his ways of being the number one and maybe he changes earlier than canon. Does that make sense?

Kacchan also discover that he.. likes it when Deku cry because he's happy, more than him being sad so he just, do little things to try and apologize early for being a dick. He is rewarded by the feeling of giddiness in his gay ass stomach.

I know that this sounds like Deku is making everyone feel unnecessary shit due to his ability but the ability doesn't actually MAKE people feel unwanted emotions, like how Blue diamond use her powers. Izuku (unconsciously) uses this ability in a such sincere way that the goodness in people's heart actually floats to the surface. I'm not sure if that make sense.. Like, His power brings up the good in people faster because he's always sincere, but not everyone is effected by it.

Izuku is like Steven universe in a sense. He beats evil by his sincerity and kindness. So, technically his power should be named "advanced empathy"??? I'm questioning myself don't worry.. I think a better way of describing this ability is that Izuku breaks other's false mask and touch the hearts of those around him. Does that make sense?

Nothing change much in Izuku's middle school life, but Kacchan's actions torwards Izuku slowly felt like it's forced rather than Kacchan believing that his way of doing things is the way to do it. Like Kacchan clearly wants to change, he's just too prideful still and is confused on HOW to actually change. Still say the infamous line and regrets it more in this AU. This also extend to others that do wrong to Izuku and eventually they stopped bothering Izuku due to the guilty conscious they had. (Other than Kacchan, everyone is a coward to apologized to Izuku during his time in Aldera. Yes I'm probably implying that Kacchan apologized to Izuku during his Aldera years.)

Izuku's goals and personality

Still the same as Canon. Still a nerd, still baby certified and still Izuku. The ones that's effected by the whole ass AU are others AROUND Izuku.

Every time Canon Izuku cries, others WILL be effected in some way. So basically in this AU, Izuku fanon interpretation of "sunshine child" is very much pushed.

Where Pink Izuku is confident and helps other by physically being there, Blue Izuku kinda does this but unintentionally. Pink Izuku will put himself in trouble like canon and being oblivious about the rules he broke (and somehow not get in trouble in the process.) Blue Izuku help others emotionally. I like to see Izuku in this AU actively finding people who is shunned by society by accident and helping them just by being himself. Like maybe he found a random kid crying and Izuku is there to help by listening to their problems.

The more I think about it, Izuku is just steven with blue powers instead of pink... agh fuck it.

This ability will honestly be hilarious when being put in a battle scenario. Just imagine villains starting to have emotional crisis while fighting this green kid and start to be sloppy because of it.

The hilarious part of this AU comes in the form of Villains questioning themselves mid battle and sometimes even goes so far as surrendering themselves because of it. (No, Muscular and Chisaki wasn't one of these Villains.)

What about OFA?

Like I said earlier, this ability may be a quirk but not that strong to the point of OFA getting to a point of drain Izuku's life force when possessing it. (Now that I think about it, I could just not say that this ability is a quirk.. but it won't make sense to my brain.)

Things happened exactly how things happened in canon but one thing does change. All might actually acknowledging what he did at the fucking rooftop and feel the regret right after he crush Izuku's dreams. Because of Izuku's half ass quirk, I like to think that the other factors of OFA got unlocked earlier in the arcs but I'm not sure how exactly..

The way that Kacchan founds out about OFA is the same way as canon but instead of distrusting what Izuku said at the beginning, he believes him instantly. The two journey in this story is more like Kacchan fumbles on being a good friend to Izuku while Izuku is just happy to have Kacchan as his friend again!! DvK 1 and 2 still happens but in a different format. It leans more on Kacchan's feelings than Izuku's quirk issue tbh-

That's the prompts I have living rent free so far- Please tell me if you have a prompt of your own or even better TALK TO ME WITH IT!!! I want to brain rot with anyone who's willing to also brain rot with me. Aight imma try to do my assignment now-

As a separate question, what are your thoughts of bkdk contents on other platforms? I mainly search for bkdk content on Twitter and Tumblr. Reddit is the worst when it comes to bk or bkdk in general.. ugh. Pinterest and Discord is a different thing in general, Instagram algorithm somehow only shows me kr/bk or td/dk where I SPECIFICALLY search and block for bkdk shit. Youtube is alright.

#rose ideas #prompts from reddit #Reddit is not a friendly place for BKDK #Unfortunately really #cause some of the ideas there are perfect for bkdk #But I digress #bakudeku #izuku midoriya #my baby boy #bkdk #this thing stems from that one subreddit that loves to shit on bakugou #I want a safe space to talk about Bakugou #or Izuku #or bkdk #without people immediately down vote/dislike my thoughts #I think on tumblr it's easier to ignore the negative things that'll come to my lawn eventually..#pink izuku #blue izuku

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paeliae-occasionally · 10 days

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AITA tag!

Thanks @willtheweaver for the tag!

Rules: Make an Am I The Asshole post (look at r/aita for examples if you haven’t seen them ) for an OC

From Marsh:

AITA for trying to convince my brother to accept who he is?

Ok, so my brother Daimion has always been a bit of a psychopath. Less than me, but he has always been drawn to ending life, it’s like a release. Anyway that’s not the problem. The problem is that whenever he feels that calling he has panic attacks and feels guilty. He can’t bring himself to take life anymore and it is killing him.

Like I get it, a person is dead. I get it, I used to feel guilty too, but there came a point where I just had to stop caring. Valuing human life is a social construct, people don’t have inherent worth, so why should I feel guilty? Realising that helped me to feel so much better about life. I am so much more confident and secure in myself now than I ever was when trying to appease a society that wasn’t built for me. Dai could have the same if he stopped lying to himself, saying those people would have been useful if he hadn’t killed them. I try to tell him to just let himself enjoy it, his joy would be worth more than their lives.

Anyway, I was talking to him about this recently trying to help with his situation and he blew up at me. Shouting that it was disgusting how uncaring I was and that maybe I should have died instead.

He apologised for that comment later but still stands by the fact that he was correct to preserve life despite the pain it causes him.

I am not uncaring, he might never under how much I care but that is not the point. I am trying to help him.

So AITA for trying to convince him to accept himself to prevent further pain?

Tagging @drchenquill, @thecomfywriter, @the-golden-comet, @willtheweaver, @tildeathiwillwrite

@the-letterbox-archives, @wyked-ao3, @an-indecisive-nerd, @telltaletoad, @world-of-iridensia

@kaylinalexanderbooks, @winvyre, @leahnardo-da-veggie, @aintgonnatakethis and @diabolical-blue

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing community #writing #marsh writing #AITA tag game

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emma-cantmakeuphermind · 1 year

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Just A Project | III

Nathan Prescott x Reader

Masterlist

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Warnings: nathan being nathan, maybe ooc, and swearing

Words: 905

We take about 20-30 minutes shooting ideas back and forth, getting an idea of each other's style. I learned that Nathan mostly shoots in black and white, and prefers a more gloomy tone. Not really a shocker, but good to know. To be honest, we both have two completely different styles, as I go for more fun and calm feeling tones. Combining our styles will be a challenge for sure.

The room goes quiet, both of us bored out of our minds, as we really have nothing to talk about, just the pictures to take. Nathan is still fidgeting with his camera and I take this moment to take him in. He’s seated in his desk chair across from me, leaning down forearms resting on his knees. He’s wearing a pair of jeans and a plain black t-shirt that fits his torso just right. I focus on his hands, they’re a bit shaky, not enough to notice with a passing glance. My eyes travel to his arms, noticing the prominent veins that travel down to the back of his hands. The black shirt hugs his biceps snugly. Nathan isn’t buff by any means, but I’d be a liar if I said he didn’t have any muscle. My focus shifts to his face, his mouth is slightly parted, to match his eyes in concentration. His eyes are the nicest shade of blue, I have to move on before I get lost in them. His dirty blonde hair is perfectly in place, except one strand in the front has fallen, resting against his forehead. Nathan may be a dick, but damn, I have to admit the boy is attractive.

My eyes are still lingering over his figure as he looks up at me. A red hue spreads across my face, embarrassed that I’ve been caught staring. His stare is cold, into my soul, unfaltering. “What?” He says with a bite. I stammer for a moment, not sure of what to say. “I was just, uhm, admiring how calm you look while focused.” Not a complete lie, it was a different side of Nathan that I’ve never really seen before. He blinks, taking a moment to process what I had just said. He looks back down at his camera and says, “Well, don’t. It’s weird, nerd.”

I drop my gaze. The tension in the room now is so thick. I want to go back to my dorm, I’m starting to feel out of place, not that I didn’t before, it’s just less comfortable now. Nathan stands up putting his camera down on his desk. “I guess we’re done for now. We can meet tomorrow or whatever.” He says lazily walking over to his bed and stands near it for a moment waiting for me to reply. I nod slowly, standing up. “Yeah, that’s good with me.” I make my way to the door, but before I can even mumble out a ‘goodbye’ Nathan speaks. “Good, ‘cause I wasn’t really asking.” His face looks serious, as always, but his voice has a joking tone to it. Huh, that’s new.

“The track field, around lunch?” He continues. I hum in agreement, “Sounds good.” I say, as I’m free all day tomorrow, today is Friday after all. He suddenly holds out his hand, like he’s waiting for me to do something. I look at him with confusion. “Your phone.” He states blankly. Still confused I sorta tilt my head to the side to wait for him to continue. He sighs, and steps forward a bit, hand still outstretched. “Give me your phone so I can give you my number.” Oh. I look at him wide eyed for a moment before finally pulling out my phone, walking a few steps forward to hand it to him. He takes it and enters his number. “I’m trusting you to keep my number private. I’ve already had it leaked a few times before, and I’m sick of random assholes trying to threaten me.” He says before he looks back up and hands me back his phone.

His tone was nonchalant but I can’t help the sorrowful expression that appears on my face. I shake my head, “No, I would never.” He rolls his eyes and looks down, “Yeah, that’s what everyone says at first.” I just stare at him for a moment, actually sympathizing with Nathan. “And wipe that ‘kicked puppy look’ off your face. I’m fine.” He finalizes. I look down, unsure of what to say next so I just back up towards the door. “Alright, well, I’ll see you tomorrow, Nathan.” I say opening the door. “Bye, nerd.” He says before the door shuts.

I look down at my phone as I walk back to my room, go to Nathan’s new contact, and start a new message. I start typing.

“hey, its y/n :)” 5:08

Simple and to the point. I pocket my phone and walk down the stairs, as I reach the bottom, my phone dings. I grab it and look at the notification.

N: “y/n?” 5:10

I frown for a moment, thinking he forgot my name and isn’t connecting the dots, before he starts typing again.

N: “i only know a nerd” 5:10

I smile for a moment and roll my eyes. I type out a sarcastic laugh with the eye roll emoji and continue my journey to my dorm. Perhaps this project won’t be so bad.

#life is strange #life is strange x reader #lis #life is strange imagine #nathan prescott #nathan prescott x reader #nathan prescott imagine

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the-unconquered-queen · 11 months

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I’ve been thinking about a Blades modern college AU a lot lately and I kinda wanna share my HCs of what I’d see everyone doing

(they’d be aged down just a little bit for this one and we’re gonna do a bit of mental gymnastics to believe they’d be at the same place and everything and finally I don’t think the modern AU lives the writers suggested are in-character, so this does not follow that)

Aerin & Baldur: The easiest one for me. In a modern AU I still usually see them being princes so both of them are sent to uni to get political science degrees, but Aerin, who is a massive nerd and also looks forward to the peace and quiet once Baldur graduates, double majors in chemistry, too. As a bonus note, Aerin spends a lot of time in the library studying for his classes, but Baldur (who I cannot reason being an academic underperformer in a modern AU since he does have all eyes on him and a reputation to maintain) is more the kind of student who seemingly does no studying whatsoever but still manages to do reasonably well in his classes. It pisses Aerin off to no end. Also, in no universe is Aerin working at Starbucks if you try to keep the adaptation close to canon because either he's super rich with no reason to work for $14 an hour OR he's in prison for plotting an assassination, no in-between.

Imtura: Maybe she’s also a princess in a modern AU, or at least she’s the daughter of a diplomat or someone with a prominent government position, like a president or PM. She’s also expected to study something that helps her follow in her mother’s footsteps, but she says fuck that and does as she pleases. Goes for something like kinesthetics and also takes up a bunch of sports.

Tyril: Sure, he could be a noble, but I’m also fond of the HC that he’s the heir of a major company, so I could see him being a business major. Possibly takes on a minor that lets him study poetry, too. He also seems like someone who'd even go on to do a Master's, Naturally, he’s a star student even though he ends up deciding that taking over the family business isn’t quite the future he wants.

Mal: Most likely the one that does not actually go to college. Will tell anyone it’s a scam. Makes me wonder if in a modern AU he’d be a tech wiz, since in the 21st century stealing is less about physical theft and more about hacking and scams, which obviously he only pulls on rich people and assholes. Someone bothering you? Hit him up and your problem’s all taken care of. But I really like the idea that a little farther down the line he enrolls in college to study social work, because Mal is still Mal and he still wants to help kids in need.

Nia: Without a doubt she is a theology major. She was raised in a very religious community so she’s always been steered in that direction, even though her views evolve and she does a lot of personal growth as she meets a lot of different people while she’s at college, she still views her faith as a key aspect of her and wants to share it with others the right way. I could also see her taking some first aid classes on the side or in her free time, not because she ever means to practice medicine or anything, but just because she thinks it’s important knowledge. Also, sorry to everyone who thinks she'd be a super preppy influencer, but Nia is def more along the lines of a repressed Mormon kid so irl she can be kind of hard to stomach for some people even though she is incredibly sweet.

Kade: You KNOW this man is a humanities major, maybe without focusing on a specific one so he can study literature, poetry, music, and everything he likes under that umbrella, even though he does lean toward literature. Is currently the only person who can compete with Aerin on most hours spent in the library (they probably both know all the librarians by name and each has to get shooed out at closing time). If he has any of those professors who insist their own interpretation of a piece is the only valid one, then Kade’s about to become their least favorite student because he WILL debate them any day.

MC: MC’s a fun one because everyone can HC something that fits their MC’s personality, either based on the story or just what they would like to see MC doing in the modern world, but some potential majors I’m fond of for a modern MC are zoology (beastmaster), chemistry (alchemy), linguistics (MC can be fluent in at least two animal languages in the book, you can’t tell me they wouldn't be brilliant as a linguist), anything in the medical field (medicine/healing), social work if they want to work with Mal, or even something to become an international diplomat down the line (diplomacy).

#playchoices #blades of light and shadow #aerin valleros #imtura tal kaelen #tyril starfury #mal volari #nia ellarious #long post #funnily enough I got this post scheduled days ago & then started seeing some modern AU posts in the tag so truly a shared brain cell here

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mudhamster · 10 months

Text

CHWHWN: 04. December - "finger massage"

Kacchan: what the fuck Deku: What is it? Kacchan: What is this supposed to be?? *image attached* Deku: A massage. Of your fingers. By me. Kacchan: YOU want to MASSAGE my FINGERS. are you nuts that's creepy af don't you think Deku: uhm no Otherwise I wouldn't have offered Kacchan: How tf is this supposed to go? Deku: I'll come to your room bring some massage oil i'll probably ask you if you want to sit or lie down maybe also if you want to close your eyes Could bring some music. My mediation playlist is quite nice We wouldn't have to speak I come, we do it, I leave simple. Kacchan: you're serious Deku: Of course I am! Kacchan: ... WHY would you even do that? Deku: I saw you massaging your palms yesterday after our practice fight. With your thumb. I had a hand massage once. And it was amazing But I get it, seems out of the blue. Anyway, I'd be glad to show you how it feels like. If you want. Kacchan: You are no doubt the purest form of a comically unpleasant creature Deku: You don't have to, Kacchan. Nobody is forcing you. Kacchan: Nobody could make me do shit, asshole. Be with me in 30m Deku: 30? What else are you doing? Kacchan: Taking a fucking shower, creep Deku: סּ_סּ its itsjustyourhands Kacchan: what Deku: You don't have to shower your whole body for that!!!! Kacchan: I TAKE A SHOWER CAUSE I WENT TO THE GYM U FUCKTARD Deku: oh ok. never mind then. Kacchan: ✖

NEVER MIND THE FACT THAT KACCHAN WOULD BE THERE - FRESHLY SHOWERED - SMELLING LIKE HEAVEN AND SWEET DEATH SHOULD IZUKU MAKE THE SMALLEST MISTAKE. NEVER MIND. NEVER MIND.

Izuku had never been so out of his MIND and at the same time he had never had so much on his MIND. He would touch him. They would sit opposite each other. Kacchan would watch him. He would hear him breathe. They would be silent. Izuku started to regret the offer. Everything would be better if he could just talk. But he had offered to be silent.

…

However, there would be less chance of him talking nonsense if he kept quiet.

But the tension. Izuku was still two floors down and yet the tension was almost killing him. What would it be like if they sat less than half a meter apart? Both on … the bed? Or Kacchan on the bed and him, because he wasn't allowed to touch the bed, in front of it? On the floor between Kacchan's thighs?

"Daaaamn," he cursed, slapped his hands painfully on his cheeks and jumped up from the bed. "I'm screwed. I-" he looked at his cell phone. Should he ...give up? Should he just pull his neck out of the noose, abort the mission, go to sleep, and pretend he would not bite himself in the ass for the next 100 years if he let the chance to touch Kacchan's hands pass without the risk of being burned to ashes...? There were barely 20 minutes left. His eyes darted to his bathroom. He could take a shower as well. Smell good, … make an impression. Not as the shitty nerd. But as Izuku, who could keep quiet, smelled clean and did good deeds. Maybe… if he could convince Kacchan just a tiny bit that he could make him feel good… maybe he could do more, like… but he couldn't finish the thought, his skin felt like it was melting off his face, good lord. And well, he was sweating. 18 minutes. He would even manage to blow dry his hair in that time.

#chwhwn #mha #boku no hero academia #katsuki bakugou #kacchan #izuku midoriya #deku #chatfic #bakudeku #bkdk #bkdkchat #fanfiction

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tswwwit · 2 years

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Have a short thing of pointless fluffy bullshit, brought to you by mindlessly going through radio stations while bored and driving.

Dipper catches sight of yellow in the corner of his eye, and starts glaring.

Being caught singing to himself isn’t the worst. Bill’s seen that before, teased him about it before no less - but this time?

This time, he’s not going to get as far as he thinks.

Before Bill can start, he points his toothbrush at his stupid grinning face in the reflection. “Don’t even start.”

“Aw, sapling, look at you! What a massive nerd.” Bill spreads his arms wide, stalking forward. Dipper makes a noncommittal grunt, brushing his teeth again as Bill moves in for the kill. “You weren’t even born when that song came out, and you know it by heart! What’d ya do, wear out Stanley’s old record player in your moodier teen years?”

Augh, Dipper hates it when Bill’s… insightful. Living in the middle of nowhere with spotty internet, the easiest way to get music was by digging through Stan’s old collection.

Anyway, Bill’s taken the wrong tactic. BABBA kind of rules, and Bill’s taste in music - when it’s not way weirder- is way older.

“Ha! Knew it. It figures.” Bill tsks, shaking his head at Dipper in the mirror. “You gotta get out in the world more, kid. Spend less time with some outta touch old man.”

“You can say that again.” Dipper mutters, through foam and brush alike. He spits in the sink, wiping his mouth while his ancient, immortal demon husband makes a face behind him.

“Rude,” Bill responds. He didn’t miss the double-talk; if anything he’s grinning wider. He’s also wrapped his arms around Dipper’s waist, just above the towel. “I’m way more in touch than anyone else you know.”

Technically correct. If you’re into multi-layered conversations. Dipper rolls his eyes anyway.

“I mean it. Don’t. Start.” Dipper jabs the real Bill in the chin with the toothbrush, watching his nose wrinkle up at the foam on his chin. “You’re playing with fire, Bill. I’ll use it.”

“Oh?” The smile is, if anything, more smug. “Go on!”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“Why not?” Bill rests his chin in Dipper’s hair, thus sharing the mess. “Go for it, sapling. Let’s see this-”

Dipper doesn’t wait for Bill to finish his taunt. He’s already snagged his phone from the bathroom counter, scrolling through for his perfect retort.

God, he was hoping Bill would open with that, and he has. Now Dipper can use his secret weapon.

“Aha!” Dipper turns around in Bill’s arms, brandishing his evidence right in Bill’s face. “Take that, asshole.”

Bill leans back a bit, eye squinted to get a better look. Dipper guesses he was holding it a little too close.

He takes a second to focus on what Dipper's showing him - then gasps.

“Why, Pine Tree!” Bill exclaims. He sounds scandalized, which is great. And… delighted. Which isn’t really what Dipper was aiming for. “Going around snapping creepy pics of the biggest demon celebs, huh? A real paparazzo.” Bill clasps a palm to his cheek, fluttering his eyelashes. “You pervert.”

“I- What?” Alarmed, Dipper checks the picture he took again.

Shit, right. He had a towel on for his show - but Bill didn’t.

Dipper was so proud of his find, and so used to Bill, that he simply didn’t take it into account. If Bill wasn’t half-turned away in the shot, it’d be completely indecent.

“Okay, shut up. That’s not the point.” And there's another one of those to make - “And we’re married, anyway.”

“How many of these have you got around, huh? A dozen? A hundred?” Bill leans in again, grinning wide. Dipper feels himself turning red, he doesn’t - this was - “Been waiting for me in some tight pants to get a better view of the outline?” The smugness is palpable; Bill’s implying so, so much that’s wrong, and he revels in it. “Lemme know if you need a model for your next-”

“I can hear you in the shower just as well as you hear me,” Dipper interrupts, before Bill can completely change the topic. Though he has to admit, it was a nice try. “I’m not the only one serenading himself, am I?”

Bill’s jaw shuts with a click, and a little huff. Looking annoyed, now that Dipper’s re-railed their conversation.

“I caught you,” Dipper feels a triumphant smile building, he tugs Bill closer by his tie. Let him try and escape now. “Singing pop songs in the shower.”

“Ugh. Sure I was, what’s your point?” Bill shrugs, nonchalant. It’s almost like it barely affects him. “I’ll serenade whoever I like, and lemme tell ya - never met an ungrateful audience for long.”

“Oh yeah? In your own words - ” Dipper tangles his fingers around the tie, smiling now - “What a massive nerd.”

Bill’s nose scrunches up. His eye is narrowed; he’s leaned in close enough to cage Dipper against the sink.

Not that it matters. Dipper’s won this round.

“Takes one to know one, Bill.” Dipper jabs his idiot husband in the chest, with no small amount of pride. “You can’t make fun of me when you do the exact same thing.”

“Sure I can!”

“What?” Dipper gives him a little push, annoyed. Bill certainly doesn’t look like he’s lost; he’d hoped this would deter him longer.

“‘Cause you get embarrassed about your little bathtime ballads.” Bill pats Dipper’s sides, looking pleased. “Have you seen the colors you turn? Look in the mirror sometime, kid. No way I’m missing out on those.”

Ugh. Of course. Stupid Bill; Dipper didn’t think this would stop the teasing, necessarily, but he’d hoped it’d buy him more time. Guess he’s got more of this to look forward to, Bill’s impossibly persistent and he never gives up when he spots a good time to be had.

He turns back around, rolling his eyes. “I need to shave.” Behind him, Bill grins, wide and insane - a bright flash, as a straight razor appears in his hand - “Back off, Sweeney Todd, I’ll do it myself.”

Bill sticks out his tongue, but settles down. He leans up against Dipper’s back as he shaves, eye looking off into the distance as he contemplates something.

Maybe Dipper’s going to hear an earful about this every time Bill catches him - but really. Joke’s on Bill, this time. If he thinks he’s gotten away scot free, he’s got another thing coming.

Bill says he’s not embarrassed about singing in the bath? Well. Dipper has some choice commentary to make about his taste in music. They’ll see who’s turning colors when Dipper teases him right back.

“So! You doing anything this evening?” Dipper glances at him in the mirror again. Bill’s wearing a delighted smile on his face. Like he’s just had an excellent idea, and he’s altogether too pleased with himself. “Just saying, I know a great karaoke bar on the other side of the solar system. Huge playlist. Great drinks! And it’s been a while since I hit up the place.”

Dipper wipes his face, thinking for a moment. Sure, he wasn’t really doing anything. Bill’s warm and close, fingers tapping on his stomach and bouncing slightly on his heels. Waiting for an answer.

“Well, kid? You coming?”

Dipper sighs, and despite himself, starts to smile.

Okay. Maybe he’ll let Bill’s bad taste in music slide for the evening. There’ll be plenty of chances to tease later, and he can’t pick every song.

Who knows? Maybe they’ll find something terrible they both like. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Yeah, alright. Why not.” Dipper relents, and watches Bill beam at him. Feeling squeezed tight, and hearing him start to cackle. He cups a hand over Bill’s, meeting his eye in the mirror. “It’s a date.”

#My brainrot is powerful and severe #Okay I've procrastinated on my other stuff long enough time to get to that #this post basically brought to you by me zoning out while pop songs played on the radio #And somewhere in there Primadonna Bill drifted through my mind #And I went 'well Bill probably has a soft spot for some junky pop music he seems the type'#And the canon Dipper singing to himself in the bathroom #So now you have this idiocy #They both have a very nice date and a couple too many drinks and sloppy makeouts #Good for them #May this make up for the previous angst post slightly #I need a nap and also a snack

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kitthepurplepotato · 1 year

Text

Shenanigans Part 8

Alternative Universe Part 3/3

New to the story? Start with Chapter 1!

Part 6-7-8 can be read without knowing the whole story, if you want to give it a go, click here!

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Part 8: The Menace and the case of the pajama party in the alternative universe. ( + extra Tododeku!)

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Warnings: swear words, drunk people (everyone is 25+ and responsible), drunk crying

Summary: Bakugou Katsuki might not have feelings when he’s sober, but he’s really weak to wine and champagne - with that said, get ready to an overly sensitive, fluffy Bakugou from the alternative universe.

Meanwhile, in the real world, the grumpy Bakugou Katsuki suffers - he can’t seem to understand his confusing feelings towards his biggest “enemy”.

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Meanwhile in the real world…

“Go to sleep, Kacchan.”

Honestly, the fuck is the nerd’s problem? Katsuki is on the couch. His eyes are closed. What the fuck else can he do?

“I would like to sleep, but your stupid fucking freckled face is distracting even with my eyes closed.” Katsuki snaps, his movements aggressive as he slaps his duvet around a bit for greater comfort.

Why is he on a random ass couch instead of his bedroom?

Because those two fuckers didn’t let him go home alone. Not even the mention of his poor starving pigeons made them change their mind. Sadistic assholes.

“Izuku’s freckled face has nothing to do with you hyperventilating on the couch.” Todoroki sighs. “She’s fine, Bakugou. She’s probably having a pajama party with a less mental version of you right now.”

Was that supposed to make him calm? And anyway… “Why the fuck are you here, Candy Cane?”

“I’m here to make sure you don’t strangle Izuku in his sleep.” Comes the easy answer, and to be fair, he might do that if he gets sleep deprived enough.

“Go and share a bed with him him, just in case.” He grumbles back and closes his eyes again, hoping to have least 3 hours of sleep tonight, just to have some energy to scream Y/N’s face off properly when she dares to come back. That’s all.

“Good idea, thank you!” Perks up the half and half idiot, making Izuku squeak like a 10 year old virgin. Fucking idiot.

“I wish to sleep a-alone, thank you v-very much.” He stutters and leaves the living room; Todoroki goes after him like a kicked puppy who does not understand their owner’s anger, even tho they just shat on their carpet 5 minutes ago.

After a few minutes of loud commotion in Deku’s bedroom - the nerd is probably telling that dick off for not understanding human communication again - the flat falls silent; but Bakugou’s thoughts are still too loud to be able to sleep.

“Fuck this shit.” He grumbles and takes his phone out to type out a message.

The fact, that the message was sent at 3:30 AM does not matter. He’s just not tired yet.

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The pajama party is more like an interrogation on crack. You are attacked with questions from every side, barely able to answer them all, but all your anxiety flew away the moment Todoroki popped open his secret drink fridge filled with all the fancy alcohol he stole from his idiot father’s old liquor cabinet. “Well, it’s his fault he left them in my mom’s house. He’s not gonna come back for it.” He said nonchalantly, when seeing your massive saucer eyes when he popped open a super expensive champagne that costs more than your monthly wage.

You tell the guys about the world of quirks; you try to keep it simple and not too revealing, but Deku is about to pop a vein as his question wasn’t answered before, so you have to do something before the guy gets brain damaged.

They tell you all their funny stories from America, about their dreams and plans for the future; they are so pure and so lively, they make your heart melt. You also try your best to tell them about their current life in your world; you can’t really tell them much about Deku and Todoroki but the more you drink, the more you ramble about your annoying boss, about how much you hate his guts, about his daily assholery; by the end of the day you end up with your head on the dumbstruck blonde’s shoulder next to you.

By 3 AM, Deku and Todoroki are passed out on the massive bed in the funniest position ever; they literally fell asleep on top of each other, their bodies making a cross sign on the bed. Deku’s body is spread through Todoroki’s lap like a cat, his head hanging down from the side of the bed. It definitely doesn’t look comfortable, but they look content so you decide against waking them up.

The blonde next to you is also half asleep, but he looks kinda melancholic. To be fair, he did stop responding to your ramblings after a while, but you were too drunk to care.

“I’m sorry for talking shit about your other self.” You apologize as you make your way to the makeshift bed on the floor. “He’s really not that bad. He can be really caring, you know?”

“No, I don’t know.” He snaps, then suddenly, he’s really interested in his own bedding by the way he stares at it. You swear his eyes look a little bit wet, but you might be hallucinating. “I’m sorry, it’s just…”

He’s crying. Motherfucking murder whatever god Dynamight is fucking crying.

You definitely drank way too much. This can’t be real. “I’m frustrated, goddamit!” He cries out loudly, waking the other two up with his sudden hysterics. “There is this beautiful, intelligent, caring lady in that fucker’s life who tolerates him even though he doesn’t deserve it at all and he’s being an absolute ass about it.” He continues, silent tears falling on his red cheeks. “He has everything I always wanted yet he doesn’t give a shit about it, and that frustrates me.” He ends his rant while he covers himself with his duvet aggressively. You are not sure if you want to cry over the touching words or laugh at how adorable he is so you just end up staring at him from the other side of room where your bedding is.

“He’s a sensitive drunk, bless his little heart.” Mumbles the greenette and taps Bakugou’s head with his hanging hand. He passes out again right after.

“If I would be in his place…” he mumbles, still hidden under his duvet. “Actually… I will go to your fucking country and I won’t leave until I found you. I will make sure you are the happiest fucking woman in this world, I’ll force you to come with me to Japan if I need to. That’s what I’m gonna do. Yeah.”

The room falls silent. You are definitely crying now. Who is this man and how is he related to Bakugou Katsuki? You really want to get married to this random stranger in a random creepy chapel in the middle of the night.

“I’ll give you all my possible addresses then.” You murmur into your pillow with a smile on your face; it’s really silly to be jealous of your own self, but you can’t help it. You are really sad you won’t be able to see these people again; this weird trio made their way into your heart in less than 24 hours and to be absolutely honest with yourself, you really don’t want to go back to the real world.

You slowly drift off to slumberland in this safe and peaceful room, dreaming about a better world and a better life.

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Meanwhile in the real world…

Mr. Katsuki did NOT sleep last night.

Why, you ask?

Because sleep is for the weak.

No, it has nothing to do with the fact that his secretary is in another world, sad and lonely, probably frightened to death in the middle of night, sleeping on the street somewhere, freezing and hungry.

Mr. Katsuki does NOT care about the Menace.

He’s also not tired.

The bags under his eyes? They are Gucci. It’s a fashion choice. They make him look rough and manly, as Kirishima would say. They also help shutting up the extras, as they are too terrified to talk to him.

Everything is fine.

“Katsuki.” The half and half fuckface sighs. The fuck is his problem?! He haven’t said a single word. He’s calm and collected. “You’ve been staring at the concrete for 2 hours now. We still have a few more minutes.”

“I’m just making sure no one steps on the spot.” Mr. Katsuki answers, looking all professional. This is just another job on the field. No biggie. He’s just doing a good job.

“Kacchan, you made sure no one steps on that spot 2 hours ago.” Deku opens his mouth and Mr.Katsuki does not understand the problem here. Yes, he drew a big circle around the area saying “If you step here, you die.” But there might be someone around who’s visibly impaired, or just dumb in general. Or a foreigner who does not understand the world DIE! DIE! DIE! Written all over the area. Maybe, the message is not clear. You never know.

“Fuck off and let me do my job!” Mr. Katsuki snaps, his eyes still focused on the concrete in front him. He could probably remember every single crack on this concrete piece by now even without looking at it.

A few minutes later, something suddenly falls from the sky; Mr. Katsuki is too focused on the concrete to see it coming, hence why, the Menace arrives with a big thump.

Mr. Katsuki almost throws up from the way his heart suddenly drops for a second… wait, no. The only reason Mr. Katsuki feels sick is the smell of alcohol coming from the ground.

“I will never drink again.” Mumbles the idiot while rubbing her stupid forehead. And Mr. Katsuki looses his shit.

“You fucking asshole!” He screams, making the hungover Menace flinch. “I thought you fucking died!” He screams even louder. “Yet here you are, fucking hungover, while I couldn’t fucking sleep because of you!”

Y/N’s phone suddenly beeps, so she takes a look at it, giving Katsuki a questioning glance.

“By the message you sent me at 3:30 AM, you slept really well last night?” She dares to say, and also, she dares to continue. “Oh, and your other self is so much nicer than you are. Quite a bummer, really. I kinda wanted to date the guy.”

Mr. Katsuki does not get flustered. The only reason his face is red as a tomato is the hot weather. It has nothing to do with the indication of Y/N willing to date him. It’s not him anyway, technically. Plus, he would never date this terrible, smelly woman. Never. He has no intentions of waking up next to this menace everyday, moan about the stupid pigeons while trying to untangle their limbs from each other, he definitely has no intentions of making breakfast every morning to make sure the Menace actually eats proper food and not just rice with fucking broccoli - just because the food is plain, doesn’t mean it’s nutritious.

… wait.

You are misunderstanding. He definitely DID NOT think about this before. His self-deprived brain is just a bit to imaginative, that’s all.

Let’s take a deep breath and step back for a bit. Let’s think about this situation.

The Menace is clearly hungover if not fucking drunk, still.

The Menace just confessed that she met his other self.

That means…

“You got drunk with me in an alternative universe?!” Mr. Katsuki snaps again, glaring at the floor incredulously.

“No, I got drunk with you, Deku and Todoroki. Also, you are really sensitive and super cuddly when you drink. It’s adorable.” The menace GIGGLES, hiding her stupid face behind her stupid hands, looking like a lovesick teenager.

Cuddly?!

Adorable?!

“You did not fucking cuddle me. You did not!”

Dynamight can not take this shit anymore. He explodes. Literally. For the next few minutes, all you can hear is swear words and death threats coming from the hero, his palm making explosions from left to right.

(…And you didn’t even mention the cute selfie you have on your phone with the three of them yet; you can only hope the picture is still available in this world, because fuck if you you won’t frame that shit and put it on your living room shelf.)

“It’s Shouto’s fault! His father has a liquor cabinet!” She tries to save herself self while throwing the other one under the bus. Todoroki doesn’t get offended, just stays silent for a while and nods.

“My father indeed had a liquor cabinet, but I never opened it before. Does it have good stuff in it?” He asks innocently, but his gaze is nothing but mischievous.

“Shou…” Midoriya facepalms, but says nothing else. He’s just done.

“The best stuff, mate. Mind sharing in the future?” Y/N winks, and for the first time in Shouto’s life, he grins at a “stranger”.

Mr. Katsuki doesn’t comment, he just explodes again.

Literally.

💥 ~💥 ~💥 ~💥 ~💥 ~💥 ~💥 ~💥 ~💥 ~💥 ~💥 ~💥

Extra:

(not a part of the main story, feel free to skip if it’s not your cup of tea)

Warnings: Closeted gays, Tododeku, talking about sex (only vaguely)

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“You wanted to see us, Y/N?”

Yes, you wanted to see these two. Why? Because you are a fucking fujoshi. That’s why.

“Shouto, Deku. Please, sit down.” You point at the sofa, making the two bulky heroes shuffle awkwardly. “Today, we will talk about love, romance and sexual attraction.”

As you finish your sentence, the two heroes get extremely uncomfortable, shuffling a bit more to stay as far away from each other as they can. They literally behave like two teenagers who just got caught making out. It’s actually quite hilarious.

“I’m… not sure why is this important, miss Y/N, b-but to be honest, I ne-never had the time to think about my… preferences? I’m married to my job, I guess?” Stutters the green haired hero, awkwardly ruffling his own curls to keep himself grounded. Adorable.

“I am more than content with my current life. I do not need romance to be happy and satisfied.” Deadpans the half and half hero, and that’s actually what you wanted to hear; because now, you can ask your question without beating around the bush too much.

“Does Deku has something to do with your current satisfaction?”

If he dares to answer with a lie…

“Yes.” He deadpans again, making the greenette next to him blush like a high schooler.

“Deku?”

“I… I don’t think there is anyone who would be able to understand my work on the long run, as I barely have a day off, and I also couldn’t find anyone who would tolerate my rambling for long enough to like me that way.” He sighs, trying his best to not make an eye contact with anyone in the office.

“I like your ramblings.” Shouto steps in, not really understanding the problem here. This guy really can’t read the room. “I also work with you, so I understand your line of work perfectly.”

“Shouto, we are talking about love and romance.” Deku whines, clearly done with his best friend’s bluntness. “You wouldn’t have sex with me, would you?”

“I never thought about this option before.” Todoroki touches his non-existent beard, clearly deep in thought. “Is it allowed to romance your best friend?”

“Shou!!” Deku takes one of the pillows from the sofa and hides his face in it; his body lit up as OFA intensely crackles around his muscles from the embarrassment.

“You can date your best friend, yes. Now leave. And talk about it. My work here is done.”

As the two heroes leave the office, you look at the blonde hiding behind his massive desk next to you; the two were too busy to realize he’s here, and you decided not to make a comment about it either. It was more fun this way.

“They will fuck tonight.” He says while looking at you with a mischievous smirk on his amused face.

“They probably won’t, but they will get together, for sure.” You smirk back, your hand in the air, waiting for a high five, which never comes.

“You have a long way before you can get a high five from me, you fucking drunkard.”

Oh, well.

At least you officially made two couples since you started in this office.

That’s enough of an achievement for the day.

“I really want to drink with you again, Mr. Dynamight.” You sigh into the distance, mumbling to yourself.

“You wish!” The blonde snaps, his blushing face hidden behind his hands as he looks away; as Mr. Dynamight said, you are a long way from getting drinking privileges with the hero, but never say never; If that adorable blush is anything to go by, you are not that far away from it as Bakugou thinks.

… next chapter!

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The alternative universe story ENDS HERE, the main story will be continued!

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End note: We are slowly getting into the romance territory here! I actually came up with quite a few ideas in the last few days! Don’t worry, it’s still going to be funny. If you think these two can do anything in a non-comedic way, you read this story the wrong way, mate.

Also thank you for those who only read the last 3 chapters; I hope you enjoyed them! Feel free to stay around for the rest of the story! The taglist is still open for everyone! 💥

If there is anything you want to see in this story, feel free to message me with your ideas! 💜

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Taglist: @ibkg @chuugarettes @lilmaimai @nonomesupposedto @sozainturpal @luleck @notplutos

#bakugo katsuki x reader #my hero academia #bakugou x reader #shenanigansbypurplepotato #mha x reader #bnha x y/n #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x you #bakugou x self insert

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