#but most recently clipping. is what i turn on when i need to keep my brain stimulated and alert

[onetrainscifi]

I don't usually go out of my way to talk about projects from the actors in Snowpiercer but I started listening to Daveed's band clipping. again and if you like industrial music or rap music you should definitely check them out! I'm partial to Visions of Bodies Being Burned and There Existed An Addiction To Blood and those are easily my favourite albums for when I'm driving.

[cherryredcheol]

"baby"

tldr: all the way seungcheol uses your nickname a/n: this has been written and waiting to be posted forEVER but i'm finally ready (i am down horrific for this man)

seungcheol x reader fluff wc: 1k

reprimands: to make sure you know he's yours

“baby.” his tone is firm, controlling. he thought it would be a good idea to invite you to his shoot today, thinking you'd like to see him in the expensive clothes he was always put in for cover shoots. what he didn’t account for was you pouting over the friendly makeup artist assigned to him for the day. 

“don’t pout. you know i only have eyes for you.” he was trying to reason with you but his patience was wearing thin. you were being difficult on purpose and he couldn’t really do anything about it given the need to protect his image and act as professional as possible. you just huffed, frown settling deeper on your face. 

“you’re being a little unreasonable,” based on the look you gave him that was the completely wrong thing to say to you. he turned when he heard them call for him from set. it was time to shine. he walked over to where you sat, bending down to meet your eyes, “if you’re good for the rest of the day i’ll reward you when we get home, baby.” 

whines: when he doesn’t have your attention

“baby,” he could hear the pathetic tone in his voice but he just couldn’t help it. he’d had a long day of meetings and listening to presentations, the only thing keeping him going was knowing that you would be waiting at home for him when it was all over. you’d look at him with your soft eyes and dote on him all weekend, just how he liked. now here he was, waiting to be coddled and you were too busy giggling at your phone to spare him a glance. 

“what could be so entertaining on the phone that you can’t spend time with me?” he was laying it on thick but he was desperate at this point, especially when his question was only answered by another tittering laugh that was still not directed at him. at this point, he was fed up. he craned his neck to see what had you all giggly. 

“oh my god. you’re kidding me!” he couldn’t believe his eyes. playing on your phone was an edit of him from the most recent gose episode. the clip wasn’t even his best moment in the episode, but he did look quite handsome that day so he can’t blame you for watching. he still really wanted to be fussed over, “seriously, put your phone down. i’m much cuter in person, baby.” 

cat-calls: as you walk by in his favorite dress

“baby!” he called out to you, dragging out the ‘y’ sound. you paused, stopping in the middle of the bedroom as you crossed from the closet to the ensuite bathroom. he was seated on the bed, tying his shoelaces when he caught sight of you in the soft pink sundress he loved so much. you looked at him with big, curious eyes, wondering why he had stopped you in the middle of getting ready for your date in the park. 

“spin for me.” he got up from the bed and reached for your hand. he held it up, above your head and twirled you in a circle, eyes taking in every inch of you. he was excited to have a picnic with you but now he was considering scrapping the whole thing to stay behind. seeing you in a sundress always did something to him. 

“you’re so beautiful,” he was full of compliments, making sure you knew exactly how beautiful he thought you were. he considered himself a lucky man every day he got to spend with you. he supposed his desire for you could wait a few hours. he should spoil you rotten with a date in the park, before spoiling you in bed. “sure you really want to go out, baby?”

admires: because he’s proud of you

“baby,” his voice is soft, eyes even softer as he cups your face. he’d just gotten home from his schedule and you’d greeted him at the door, immediately sharing the news of your promotion with him. it was a small, mostly lateral move, with a tiny raise but you were still excited to share the news with him. he kisses you deeply, trying to convey his pride to you wordlessly. 

“i should tell my mom. she’s going to be so happy for you.” this made you blush. you knew he’d be proud but you didn’t really expect him to be so happy that he’d want to tell everyone. it wasn’t even a big deal. you begged him not to call his mom right that moment and instead conceded to a spontaneous celebratory dinner at your favorite restaurant. 

“i’m so proud of you,” this was now the sixth time he told you this since you shared the news with him, the second on the car ride to the restaurant. you blushed every time he said it, and had asked him to stop, to which he refused. in fact, he had doubled down. he threatened to have a cake brought to the table at dinner if you tried to silence him again. at a red light, he fished his phone out of his pocket, handing it over to you, “call my mom, for real. i want us to share the news with her. she’s going to be so proud, baby.”

barks: on accident

“baby!” the name came out harsh, frustrated. you’d never heard it that way before; this time, it wasn’t even directed at you. the dressing room fell silent and you watched the blush creep up his neck. the boys were never going to let him live this down. he turned from you, the conversation you were having before he went on stage now gone from his mind. 

“sorry, i meant to say ‘seungkwan’”. he was trying to save the situation but it was awkward. not only had he tried to reprimand his members but he’s accidentally used your name to do it, embarrassing himself in front of his members, staff, and you. what was once a bustling hub of movement and concert preparation came to a screeching, uncomfortable halt at his faux pas. 

“we know you like seungkwan, but we didn't know you liked him that much, hyung.” jeonghan broke the tension saving his leader and ushering in some polite laughter. the commotion slowly began again and he turned back to you. his face looked normal, probably due to the makeup, but his neck was bright red. he was flustered, “they’re never going to let this go, baby.”

[cindyss]

• — MY SHORTS DONT HAVE LACES — •

PAIRING(S): theodore nott x fem. reader !!

WARNING(S): smut

SUMMARY: Hermoine is aware of y/n’s feelings toward theo, therefore when she gets the chance, hermoine makes it her job to get them close to eachother

A/N: i hope you enjoy this and check my most recent post with tom riddle please show it some support 😭🙏 (this is edited)

——————————————————

You and Hermione were in your shared dorm, getting ready together for the pool party thrown.

You put your matching black swimsuits on and put your hair up so that it doesnt get wet from the water.

“Hermoineeeee” you sigh. “Is- is uhh is, is theo gonna be there?” You ask hesitantly.

Hermoine had always been aware of your feelings toward theo and she made no effort to stop teasing you about it.

“Ugh, y/n, yes he is” she spoke as she rolled her eyes.

“Do i look good, should i tie my hair or keep it in a claw-clip like this? Omg idk what to do i feel so ugly. Should i change this swimsuit?” you complain

“Y/l/n, one more word i swear. You look gorgeous, ur perfect. How many times do i need to tell you that?” She said.

You jump into her arms before she could finish, “god hermoine i love you” you say.

“Yeah i know bla bla bla bla, now we have a party to get to and boys to impress” she winked before dragging you out of the room.

You get to the party and ur eyes immediately begin scanning the room, in search of theo. In no time you spot him, sat in the hot tub with cormac, harry, ron, ginny, and luna.

Hermoine notices your intentions and grabs your hand leading you to the hot tub, “hermoine, no, im not ready yet!!” you sigh.

“too bad” she says before jumping in the hot tub. “shoot, y/n, there’s no more place for you, but im sure theo would be more than pleasured to keep you on his lap” she giggled.

You and theo didn’t hate eachother, you weren’t friends either. However, there was always tension between the two of you, even Neville could catch it.

He patted on his lap, gesturing for you to come over “c’mere” he said. You drag ur feet in the water and adjust ur sitting on his lap.

Looks and smiles exchange between everyone in the tub and you begin to feel the tension form. Cormac, next to you, starts talking about his previous experience with the ladies and other stuff.

And while ur listening, trying to act interested in whatever he’s talking about, you feel something poke from under you.

You also feel theo’s hands wrap around ur waist from under water which makes you let out a loud gasp, loud enough for the people in the hot tub to hear at least.

Everyones heads turn around to you, “sorry guys, thought i saw a bug” you laugh it off and all ur friends go back to their conversations.

The poking from under you only got more annoying, so you turn ur head, “theo, the laces of ur swimsuit are poking me, can u do something about it?” You speak.

“Cara mia, my shorts don’t have laces” he whispers to you, you could feel his breath on ur ear. “Fuck theo” you say.

He looks at you and then says something again “i say we get out of here darling before i can’t control myself anymore”.

You immediately jump up, and theo follows you. “If you’ll excuse us, we have some business to manage” he jokes pointing at the both of you.

“Get out of here man” Ron laughs.

“God please no” this, from Luna.

“Off you go” hermoine says smiling.

Theo then grabs your hand, two towels, and starts leading you back to his dorm. On ur way there, he wraps one of the towels around you, making sure you’re not cold.

When you get there, the Slytherin boy wastes no time locking the door and smashing his lips onto yours, immediately also allowing his tongue to slip in.

The kiss was not sweet, it was slow yet passionate and hungry. The boy was practically eating your face off while he has you pinned on the wall.

In a sudden movement, theo slips his hands under your thighs and carries you up into his arms. He carries you to his bed, the kiss ongoing, and makes you lay there.

He wastes no time unclasping your bikini and sucking on your tits. Your fingers meet his hair and you start tugging at it as he sucks on your nipples.

He leaves kisses on your boobs and cups them while he moves back up to your lips, also removing your underwear. They meet again and this time the kiss is faster, deeper, and hungrier.

“I- i.. fuck” he says in between kisses.

“Mhm?” you wonder.

“My friend down there, fucking hell, he needs attention.” the boy explains.

You laugh and start working your way, trying to remove his shorts. He turns over making sure to provide you with enough space to take control.

You make your way down, leaving kisses down his ab lines. You slowly lower his shorts and begin trailing his v line with your fingers.

You then remove his shorts completely and for a second, you are taken back by his large size.

His wet, throbbing cock was now inches away from your face. You begin by licking his tip, slowly and carefully before taking him in all in one go.

To that, he gasps, his hands then move to your head guiding you, he grabs onto your hair and leads you.

He even makes you gag a few times when he hits your throat, which you pinch his thigh for that.

You speed up your movements as you wanted to be the one to make him cum first, and you wanted to be the one that makes it happen faster.

“Cara mia” he spoke. “Im gonna.. soon. Im gonna.. fuck”.

You mumble a quick mhm as you speed your movements.

“Fuck you’re so good at this”. he praised

You smiled to yourself before he finally came on your mouth, he squeezed your hair as he released.

You move back up to him and stick your tongue out to show him you swallowed it. You then start kissing him again, slipping your tongue inside, his hands wrapping around your waist.

“You know ur actually gorgeous, youre so perfect. A goddess i swear” he said as you were sat on his lap, staring deep into his eyes.

“Tell me something in italian” you ask.

“Hmm? Something like what ehh?” he smirks.

“Anything” you smile.

“Well.. ti scoperò finché non potrai più camminare.” he said in a whisper.

“And that means?” you wonder.

“I’ll fuck you till you cant walk” he spills.

“Oh is that so?” you giggle.

he nods and then you give him the look of affirmation before he slams into you, which makes you let out a gasp before adjusting yourself to his size.

You then start working ur hips in sync with his, riding him while his hands roam ur body, touching every bit of skin he could get his hands on.

“Fff.. fuckkk, you look too good like this” he praised. “dannatamente perfetto”. (fucking perfect)

you smile and in a sudden movement, he flips you over so hes in control, he starts speeding and you grab onto the sheets for dear life.

He leans in and kisses you, you moan into his mouth and his swollen tip hits your spot, the one that sends you to the moon and back.

“FUCKING HELL!!” you scream, “THEODORE IM GONNA CUM”. He speeds up his movements and guides you as you release.

“è stato fantastico, bellissimo” (that felt amazing, beautiful) he spoke slumping on the bed next to you.

“You really gotta start teaching me italian so i can understand what ur saying” you chuckle.

“Oh yeah? What if i dont want you to understand what im saying” he teased.

“Uhh oh, we might have a problem then” you both laugh as he hugs u tightly, kissing ur temple.

[archandshri]

28th June ‘24 - [arch] One Page Limitation??? - My process for Traffic Zine #5

Hello All!

A couple months ago, I got accepted to @trafficzine, a digital anthology of pieces by a large group of artists and writers based on the most recent season of the Life Series. I made this piece back in April, but thankfully I kept some notes of my process. 

Heads up - this contains spoilers for Secret Life :D

We were able to choose our own prompt from a list! For this project, I wanted to push my comic making - especially how to communicate a lot of information in a small space. I went through and watched a few clips from the series to see which prompt would fit a comic and settled on Scott’s death.

As usual, I began by getting some reference images and going ham on some big paper. This gets me excited about the project and helps generate ideas. I go for whatever interests me in terms of medium and subject matter, but I try to use a process that doesn’t let me control too much (in this case brush and ink)

initial sketches for fun and vibes :D

During this, I also took the time to transcribe the scene - I wanted to use the dialogue directly, and see how much I could fit into the single page that I was allowed for the zine.

In these early planning stages I make sure to do warm-up sketches to remind myself of the energy I want to communicate. This also keeps things fun and fresh so I'm not ONLY thinking about page composition and making things 'good'. (the expectation for it to be 'good' kills a project prove me wrong)

Dialogue from the clip + warm up sketches

Next up, I started to plan what panels I have on the page. At this stage, some panels might just be a box with some words, and some may have a sketch if I have a clear composition in mind. This stage is mostly for pacing and plot, so instead of focusing on what the panel and page will look like, I will think about:

what will happen in the panel

it's purpose and

what it will communicate

Sometimes I'll illustrate a string of panels that tell the story and fit them on a page after - but this depends on the project and my confidence with the size of it.

After messing around with these and coming up with a pretty clear direction, I draw a bunch of boxes to see how the panels could sit nicely together. At this stage I might realise I have too many panels, and need to cut a few or come up with a creative solution. Nothing is set in stone at this point.

sketching panel layouts

Now begins the fun! I decide on the layout I prefer and I can start putting planned compositions into the boxes. I often do this digitally, or a digital editing process will be involved.

Once planned, I print these out to do a more refined sketch over. I find that my traditional drawings have a lot more life and character to them than digital ones, so I try to keep the majority of the process traditional, with passes of scanning and digital editing.

I tried a version with her looking out at the distance - ready to face the oncoming battle. But it still felt off. So I turned to my slides to ask myself some questions!!

I tried to think of more things that were working - but I really felt like it was lacking a lot. I was going for this slower emotional feeling because that came more naturally to me, but it just wasn't working for this image. The original clip is quite rushed and chaotic - which would be harder to communicate in a comic format but the challenge interested me. Either way, I knew I wasn't happy with this direction so... i decided to start from scratch! Back to the drawing board!!!

In the previous version, I had cut out a lot of the dialogue, but I decided to go back to the original clip and use AS MUCH as possible. Since passing the bow was my favourite part of that first composition, I really wanted to lean into it as the emotional height and final goodbye before Scott's death. It's a moment to slow down and absorb the vibes :D

I made a list of panels along with their descriptions to refer to when trying to figure out the order of panels. there were SO MANY and it was VERY CONFUSING when they were too small to read.

These thumbnails were super small and would not have made sense without my list, I swear.

I printed this tiny thumbnail out at A4, so I could sketch over it and get a clearer sense of flow. Then began a loooong process of printing out tiny photocopies and rearranging the panels to be legible. It was a difficult balance of communicating busyness while making sure the hierarchy/reading order made sense.

After some tweaking, i printed out an A3 copy to draw my panel borders and text.

Doing this on a separate piece of paper means I don't have to worry so much about messing up the text or borders when drawing the characters. This allows me to be more free and expressive with my illustration.

Woah! Quick trip back in time!! During the thumbnailing process I drew these warm up sketches! I looooved the way the linework came out. I drew this on an A3 piece of paper - and the shocked Gem would, in theory, be one of the smallest panels. So I decided to do a crazy thing.

I touched up the sketch digitally, compiling some of my favourite warm up sketches, some traditional sketches made for the panels, and filling the rest in digitally. Then I printed this image out in QUATERS at A3!! This meant the final sketch layer, printed out was A1!! (aka very large, considering the final file would be at A4, about 8x smaller)

I did this so I could get fairly small detailed lines with my pencil while being quite expressive and firm with my mark-making. Slowly, I dlined all of the panels traditionally and scanned them in. Then I assembled the finished linework on Photoshop, along with the text and panel borders and got to colouring :D

final linework :D

For colouring, I played a little bit with halftone but I found the texture made it feel a bit too busy - the panels are already doing enough. Because of this, I also decided to use a limited colour palette. Here are some images of the colouring process, which I won't go into today.

I'm really happy with how this came out - I think it captures the chaos of the moment, while taking time to linger on the emotion of it. Keeping that bow moment really made it, I think.

I think the last panel is still quite weak. Earlier in the process there was a low-angle shot of Gem about to kill Scott which may have been more powerful, but I think I was struggling with my actual drawing skill when it comes to perspective. A lot of learning how to draw, and in particular with comics, is about knowing where your skills are at, how to utilise them best and how to test and push them.

I'm glad that I started again, instead of finishing that composition I wasn't happy with. It was a tough project but I learnt sooooo much from it, and it's been essential skill-building for.... the current comic I'm working on (stay tuned!!! :0) Thanks for reading this incredibly long post! Go check out @trafficzine and look at all the other cool art Cool vibes and silly men,

Archie :D

[nervousd]

Chapter One — Reminiscence

→ Infatuation | m.list

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

#SYNOPSIS— Recom! Miles remembers his infatuation for you

#WARNING(S)— This is a dark fic, possessive behavior, unhealthy obsession, abuse of power, dark quaritch, yandere, implications of noncon/dubcon, stalking, creepy behavior

#CHARACTER(S)— Colonel miles quaritch, Reom! Miles Quaritch

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

After conducting a briefing with his new team and outlining the goals and the pressing necessity of hunting and killing Jake Sully. Miles was summoned by General Ardmore, she informed him of the imperative need to colonize Pandora and ‘ pacify ‘ the na’vi; since earth was now deemed to be virtually uninhabitable. She than showed him clips from recent attacks to previous years of footage before he was woken up. They were well planned out attacks against the RDA led by Jake Sully ❝ Now Colonel I understand you were given a second task. Quaritch— had pulled rank to get what he wanted. Even in death, his commands are being followed— that’s hell of motivation if you ask me. I’m hoping you give that same energy to Sully ❞

❝ I assure you General nothing will distract me from my priorities ❞ When the words rolled of his tongue he felt them dripping in the untruth. Jake sully wasn’t his priority— no even if he wanted to he couldn’t. There was an itch under his skin only you could calm. If he didn’t believe his own words than he wouldn’t put it past himself if the General didn’t believed him either. She scoffed, dismissing him until further notice of any new briefings.

Miles was left to his own dwellings, he spent most of his time reminiscing about the past— if he could call it his past. That wasn’t him— no he’s just a clone. A shell of the man before him. But even still he couldn’t help but desire to claim those memories as his. Memories that he spent with you— he wanted to experience it all with you. He wanted to see you for the first time, look at your eyes while you gaze at him with adoration, he wants to get to know you— he wants to call you his. These memories he has of you aren’t his, and it pains him to accept it. His heart ached, longing for you. At one point he regarded you as a thief, you have stolen everything from him. The heart in his chest, the air from his lungs and all his thoughts within his head— you have stolen everything he had to offer.

His eyes closed in sweet bliss of remembrance upon his predecessor first meeting with you. It was a memory he couldn’t help but often think about.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

❝ You’re not in Kansas anymore, you’re on Pandora ladies and gentlemen. Respect that fact, every second of every day ❞ His boots made a menacing clicking sound as they hit the ground. His gestures and precise movements made him intimidating— the scar that ran through his skull only amplified to his demeanor ❝ If there is a hell you might wanna go there for some r&r after a tour on Pandora. Out there, beyond that fence, every living thing that crawls, flies, or squats in the mud wants to kill you and eat your eyes for juejuebees. ❞

❝ We have an indigenous population of humanoids called the ‘ Na’vi ‘ There fond of arrows dipped in a neurotoxin that’ll stop your heart in one minute— they have bones reinforced with naturally occurring carbon fiber. They are very hard to kill ❞ He turned around slowly facing all the new recruits, walking down the aisle; he continued on with his speech ❝As head of security, it is my job to keep you alive. I will not succeed, not with all of you. If you wish to survive, you need to cultivate a strong mental attitude. You’ve got to obey the rules, Pandora rules ❞

His steps halted, his eyes locked with yours. You peered up at him batting your eyelashes ❝ You’ve got all of that sweetheart? ❞ His eyes trailed down your throat seeing the harsh swallow, a sly grin curved up the corner of his lips. A shiver coursed through his spine as he gazed down at you expectingly. You kept your mouth shut, nodding instead. He arched a wrinkled eyebrow, ❝ I want words sweetheart ❞

❝ Yes— sir ❞ Quaritch nearly folded, your voice sounded sensual and smooth— a velvety whisper. His blue eyes gleamed, ❝ atta girl ❞ He turned back around, ❝ Rule number One— ❞

→ Tag List

@mechformers | @the-hufflebird-girl | @winxschester | @onlyreadz | @that-v03 | @dathomirian4 | @weasleytwinwheezes | @gatorgirl151 | @gryffinclawstuff | @drunkscientists

━━━ : © NERVOUS.D

[blackestnight]

1: road hazard

Prompt: Steer Word count: 1406 Honestly, Hanami probably needs to come with a permanent caution sign.

“Absolutely not,” Aymeric says, his scowl marred a bit by the fact that he’s obviously holding back a smile. The overall effect is that he’s very sternly sucking on one of those spiced chocolate candies she brought back from Tuliyollal and trying not to sneeze.

Hanami leans back against the Manufactory’s wall, insulated enough in her coat not to feel the chill of stone, and raises an eyebrow at him.

“I know,” he says, grave as any battlefield order, “how you drive that thing.”

“You have never seen my drive my motorbike,” she says immediately, and because she loves him with all the fury of a dying star she even withholds the you fucking liar she wants to tack onto the end.

“I have received numerous reports of your recklessness,” he says, crisp and clipped in a way that has a smile tugging at the corner of her own mouth. “And I have no desire to risk my own life by placing myself at the mercy of your driving.”

“Reports,” she scoffs, and twirls the little metal ring around her finger so the cermet keys clink against each other. Cid and Nero are still in the middle of their most recent engineering pissing contest, and apparently the only thing they can agree on about the bikes is that she’s their favorite test driver—you’re almost guaranteed to walk away from any catastrophic malfunction, Nero had sneered, which was a compliment coming from him. It cuts down on paperwork. Not that she actually needs all the motorbikes they’ve been giving her instead of actual payment, but it’s not like she’s going to turn them down since they are useful.

Which is why it’s especially offensive that Aymeric raises his hands, ticks off his first finger, and says, “Cid Garlond.”

“If he did not want me to wreck his bikes,” she says, “he should have built better fucking bikes.”

Aymeric raises an eyebrow at her—she wrinkles her nose—but he’s truly smiling now, even as he says, “You drove it directly into a cliff face. At speed.”

“He should have built a bike that could fucking turn,” she says, which is also more or less what she had told Cid at the time, and he’d thrown his hands up and stormed out of the Ironworks tent at Porta Praetoria to scream incoherently, but the next iteration of the G-bike could make hairpin turns at speeds that would make a chocobo jockey shit themselves, so she’d clearly been right.

Aymeric raises his eyes to the heavens, although she can’t imagine who exactly he’s praying to, and he ticks off a second finger and says, “Lucia Junius.”

“That was her idea,” Hanami says. To be fair, it was a good one. The Ilsabardian contingent had brought chocobos for transporting provisions, but they couldn’t actually take the birds out on long journeys unless the scouting parties wanted to haul around enough tents and fuel to close off and heat an area big enough to keep giant hulking horsebirds from dying of exposure. Hanami’s bike was smaller, and wouldn’t freeze to death on the icy wastes of Garlemald.

It also made Hanami essentially their only mounted cavalry until they could steal some Reapers, which was a little strange, but as it turned out if she could hook her scythe blade into…really any part of a hostile piece of magitek, the bike’s momentum would do the rest of the work of tearing it to shreds, even if she did a bit of an ungainly fishtail the first few times she tried that stunt.

“She asked if you would be willing to use the bike for scouting,” Aymeric says. “Not for combat.”

“She did not explain that to the colossi pointing cannons at my face,” Hanami points out. “And they were rude and would not wait for me to put down the kickstand.”

He’s absolutely laughing now, his shoulders visibly shaking even under the bulk of his coat, but he keeps his voice remarkably steady while he ticks off a third finger and says, “G’raha Tia.”

“Can fuck right off,” she snaps, and then hisses when her tail smacks against the Manufactory wall. “He has no room to talk.” Even ignoring the stunt with the light aether, which she was still mad about, or the nonsense with Elidibus, or the tower of Zot—by the time she’d found him and Alisaie on the Magna Glacies, he’d been halfway through calling down a fireball that would have made him black out after, and bleeding from half a dozen wounds besides. Whereas Hanami dumping her bike and letting it skid straight into the giant blasphemy’s legs had been quick and efficient, and immobilized the stupid oversized lizard, and a hastily-spun shield of shadow meant Hanami had rolled to her feet without so much as a bruise. “I notice you did not get a report from Alisaie.”

“Mistress Leveilleur was quite impressed by your driving,” Aymeric says, “which I feel only reinforces my point.”

Hanami snorts, and holds out the hand not occupied with her keyring, which Aymeric takes easily. “I would not let anything happen to you,” she says, and runs her thumb across his gloved knuckles. “I can be careful.”

Erenville would bitch about anything, but he’d only complained about the noise and the smell of the bike, not her driving. Lamat-chan had been delighted the first time Hanami had taken her on a ride through the streets of Tuliyollal, split between chattering about automated wheeled carts to ferry around citizens who couldn’t handle the endless stairs or hills and whooping in elation when Hanami kicked up the speed a little down the long straight of Talonmarch. Even Alphinaud was comfortable enough on the back of the bike, although he usually wound up with his face pressed between her shoulderblades when they bounced over rougher ground.

“I know,” Aymeric says, and lifted their twined hands to press a kiss to her fingers. “Though I do wish you would take more care with your own safety, and not only that of your passengers.”

She lets loose a tiny sigh through her nose, the showy irritation melting from her shoulders, and allows herself a real smile as she runs her fingertips down the line of Aymeric’s jaw. He has an adventurer’s spirit, even if his heart is sworn to Ishgard, but she doesn’t think he’s ever felt the same delight she gets from heart-pounding excitement, almost akin to terror, kicking her pulse into overdrive and dousing her nerve endings in adrenaline. He so rarely turns down little adventures with her, but she thinks, if she could peer into his mind, he would be the sort with a voice in his head telling him to step carefully when walking along a cliff’s edge.

Her impulses have always been the sort telling her to jump. The rotten ones, the loudest ones, to try and find silence at the bottom—but the rest, the ones she heeds most closely now, just to enjoy the wind whistling through her hair during the fall.

“I know,” she says. “But I would not get myself into any trouble I could not walk away from.” Not when she has a choice in the matter.

And even when the choice was taken away from her, at the edge of the universe, she got up and walked it off anyway, even if it took some kind of bullshit akasa resurrection and a lot of physical therapy, so it isn’t as though she’d let something as silly as a bike crash keep her away from him, not when the end of days couldn’t manage it.

He comes to her easily when she tugs on his hand, and presses a kiss to her temple, the heat of his breath settling into her hair.

“Setting aside the matter of your driving,” he murmurs, his voice gone velvety in a way that warms her from the inside out, “I rather enjoy the romance of long walks with you.”

When he straightens up his smile is easy, and his fingers are twined even more firmly in her own, so she pockets the keyring and says, “You could have just said you wanted to hold my hand, you sap.”

“I thought it rather apparent,” he tells her, with another squeeze to her fingers, and she scoffs and pushes off the wall. It’s a long, cold walk to Whitebrim, but she’s never minded taking the slow way.

[cappulcino]

Seven Days Til Fall (Part 3)

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4 – Part 5

Read on AO3 (you do need to be logged in, though)

Words: 4,438

Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Angel!Reader

Summary: You're an angel sent on a divine mission to retrieve a powerful relic that has been stolen from Heaven. The orders are clear: gain an audience with the Devil, make deals with them if necessary, anything to return that object to the Silver City. But Hell is not quite what you expected, and neither is Lucifer.

Trigger warnings: Non-graphic allusion to rape (committed by a sinner)

The next morning, when you arrived at the centre of Hell and the giant doors of its ruler's palace opened –letting out the usual gush of blood that each day tainted your immaculate apparels and never left despite how hard you tried to miracle it away–, Mazikeen was waiting for you, body tense, hands on the hilts of her swords.

"I salute you, Mazikeen of the Lillim," you said cautiously as you approached her and the heavy sound of the doors closing behind you echoed in the hall.

She nodded out of sheer respect for etiquette and because you were an honoured guest in her sovereign's realm, but did not bother to greet you with words.

Instead, she immediately informed you, "The Morningstar is occupied with matters of the kingdom. I have been asked to keep you... entertained. And safe." Her tone was dripping with disdain, revealing her clear lack of interest in the task.

"That won't be necessary," you told her after a moment of reflexion.

"What do you mean?"

"Take me to your master, Mazikeen. Heaven's deal is with them alone, and I shall therefore spend my days with them."

By that, you really meant to let her know that you didn't trust her, nor could you even if you wanted to. Unlike Lucifer, Mazikeen was bound by no divine contract, and demons were notorious liars. She would most likely try to mislead and confuse you, and you obviously couldn't allow it.

"There is nothing for you to see at that meeting."

There. She was already trying to divert you.

"Perhaps not, but I still would like to attend. The search for the Cup can wait. Besides, it's evident neither of us has any desire to spend more time together than necessary."

"I received clear orders," she said in a clipped tone, her upper teeth showing a little and her fists clenching harder on her weapons.

"As did I, and as did the Lightbringer, in fact. So I must ask again. Take me to your ruler, and let me discuss this with them."

Mazikeen eyed you with suspicion and annoyance for a moment but eventually relented.

"Fine. If you're so eager to watch our business…" She was already heading to where the meeting was held, and you promptly followed. "But there is no guarantee you will be accepted. Do not try to say I didn't warn you."

"…and I have been told by Pharzuph that–"

The ornate doors of the council chamber creaked open as you and Mazikeen stepped inside, your presence immediately drawing the attention of everyone there. A tall, gaunt demon, Asmodeus, who had been in the middle of voicing his grievance about the recent disturbances in the Second Circle, froze mid-sentence, his eyes widening in surprise while the room fell into a sudden, oppressive silence.

Lucifer, seated at the head of the long, marble table, raised an eyebrow in mild surprise, but they didn't seem entirely displeased to see you.

Still, when they turned to the she-demon at your left and spoke, their voice cut through the silence like a sharp blade. "Explain yourself, Mazikeen."

"It is not her fault," you declared before Mazikeen could get a single word out. "I was curious to know how assemblies in Hell were conducted and asked her to take me here. After all… know your enemies, right?"

Lucifer's lips curled into a faint, amused smile while the demons exchanged hateful glares and whispers of uncertainty.

"Very well," they eventually said. "Take a seat. Observe if you wish."

You only hesitated a split second before gratefully bowing your head and stepping forward with calm resolve to take the offered seat.

"Is this reasonable, Sire? Letting the Opposition so blatantly pry and learn about what goes on here?" a demon you would later come to know as Belial asked.

"Are you questioning Our decision?" Lucifer replied with a warning edge to their tone. "We doubt anything that will be said in today's session could be of importance to Heaven. Let the curious angel indulge. Now, Asmodeus, you were saying?"

"That the, uh… The… The souls assigned to the Second Circle have been… lacking." The demon seemed unsure, constantly throwing glances in your direction.

"Yes, so have the souls in the Fifth Circle," another added.

"Ah, the ever-persistent soul-allocation debate," Lucifer sighed, looking straight at you as if letting you in on an inside joke. You pinched your lips to suppress a smirk as they answered. "Well, perhaps Desire of the Endless has been neglecting their duty. It is not Our concern."

"Is it not?" The demon now talking didn't even have an anthropomorphic body. You had seen them somewhere… But what was their name already?

"No, Azazel." Ah, yes. Azazel. "We do not interfere with the affairs of the Endless."

Azazel's many eyes glimmered with something close to amusement. "Does this apply to the Dream Lord? I recall a rather... public exchange of challenges the last time he came to our domain. Surely, You have not forgotten?"

What was this about? You shifted in your seat, imperceptibly leaning forward, hoping to learn more.

But Lucifer's eyes narrowed, the faintest flicker of annoyance passing over their features. "We remember well, Azazel, as We remember your… compelling offer. Do you have something relevant to add, or are you merely reminiscing?"

"Only that you promised to destroy him, Your Majesty. Yet, here we are, discussing soul allocation as if nothing ever happened. Perhaps the Endless should be reminded of their place and–"

"The affairs of the Endless, as We said, are not Our concern at this time. If and when We decide to address Lord Morpheus, you will be informed. Until then, We suggest you focus on your own duties, Azazel." Lucifer turned their attention back to the rest of the Council. "Now, if there are no further diversions, shall we proceed? Belial, perhaps would you like to share your grievances?"

The demon that had expressed his reluctance to your presence earlier cleared his throat and spoke up. 

"Yes, well… It’s just that the lava flow in the Lake of Fire has been inconsistent. Some days it's more of a trickle than a proper stream from the volcanoes, and… Well, I've heard complaints."

There was a pause as all eyes turned to the Lightbringer.

Lucifer blinked. "Is this your classified state affair no celestial being should ever hear about? What a security breach indeed." And again, they glanced at you with a mock-serious expression. "I do hope you can keep this… earth-shattering revelation to yourself."

For the second time, you had to bite the inside of your cheeks not to laugh, but you still decide to play along. "Oh, you can trust me. We angels are very good at keeping secrets."

Lucifer flashed you the briefest of smiles, and the meeting resumed. The topics ranged from the management of the Damned to disputes between powerful demons, to the distribution of resources in different regions of Hell. And no matter how important or trivial the matter was, Lucifer always listened and provided a balanced solution to everything, showing a surprising level of patience.

This meeting felt so different from those you had to attend to in the Silver City and, at first, you couldn't exactly tell why. You, too, sometimes had to be present at assemblies where your peers complained about clogged Holy Water sources and what needed improvement for next Christmas Mass. So what was the difference?

But then it hit you. Lucifer was here. The congregation was talking about petty arguments and lava flow issues, and Lucifer, the monarch of this realm, the second most powerful being of all Creation, was here. And listened. And answered.

You had never seen God at any meeting –or anywhere, for that matter. You merely saw His light illuminating Heaven, and had only heard His voice once when He had created you. Sometimes, in fact, you even doubted the Seraphim themselves truly spoke directly to the Almighty. To the Metatron, yes. Perhaps. Never God.

But Lucifer… Lucifer seemed to care about how Hell was governed. And at that moment, just like your walk through the Woods of Suicides yesterday had made you realise that God did, in fact, leave and forsake His children, you understood that when His words as reported in the Bible said, "I am with you always," that, too, was a lie.

God lied and the Morningstar didn't. Yet you had been taught to praise the former and distrust the latter. Something wasn't right.

It was sometime in the early afternoon, you weren't sure exactly. Time seemed to move differently in Hell than it did in Heaven. With the ruler of Hell still by your side, you were walking through the City of Dis, following your first serious lead regarding the Cup of Eternal Grace, but your steps were less purposeful, your gaze less focused.

"You have been unusually quiet since this morning," Lucifer remarked, glancing at you sideways. "Are you alright?"

Their question jolted you out of your contemplation, and you looked at them with pure surprise. Did they really care about your current state of mind or was this a subtle way for them to tell you that they would not be wasting their time with someone lacking devotion to their mission?

"I'm… I'm fine," you replied with a tone devoid of conviction.

"You most certainly do not seem 'fine'. We have sensed your distraction. Is it about the Cup? We thought you would be delighted to have finally found a serious lead."

"It isn't about the Cup, no."

Lucifer came to a halt and sighed, evidently annoyed to have to worm this out of you. "Then what?"

Still, you hesitated and let your gaze drop to the ground before answering. "It's just… It's hard to reconcile everything I've seen here so far with what I believed about Hell. And I fear this is making me question… Well, everything."

"Ah."

You finally looked up at them. "I mean, how can you be so dedicated to ruling this place? Is it not… confining?"

Lucifer was now regarding you with a mixture of what you suspected was their definition of sympathy and a wry smile.

"Confining? Perhaps. But it is a duty We must not fail in. Hell is Our responsibility. We do what needs to be done because it is Our realm to govern, for better or worse."

"But does it not bother you? The demons, the Damned, the endless circle of torment… This all feels so…"

"Cruel?" Lucifer offered.

You nodded. "And lonely."

The Lightbringer's expression softened ever so slightly. "Cruelty is a matter of perspective, little angel," they said, purposely ignoring the matter of loneliness. "To some, what We do might seem cruel –it certainly does to mortals. To others, it is a necessary order." They then took a step closer, their blue eye boring deep into your soul, and whispered, "Which one is it to you now?"

Maybe you had been too quick to judge. Maybe there were things you didn't understand. You had always thought Hell to be a place of pure evil, but maybe there was much more than what Heaven had taught you, and you were glad to get to see it from a different perspective.

You opened your mouth, wanting to tell Lucifer just that when their eyes shot up, catching sight of something behind you.

"No. No, no, no," they called out, gracefully picking their robes to stride towards a demon hauling a poorly-looking soul. "This will not be sufficient, Baal. Take him back."

You took a deep breath to regain your composure, swallowing the strange emotions Lucifer's proximity had stirred within you, and turned around to observe the scene.

The soul's form was grotesque, twisted by the torture it had visibly just endured. His skin was pale and his limbs were contorted unnaturally, as if they had been repeatedly broken and healed in all the wrong ways. A faint wail escaped his cracked lips when he felt the Morningstar approach.

"Your Majesty," Baal said. "I don't think he can take any more today."

"Oh, he can," Lucifer assured. "And he will."

The dead man shook his head, his whole body quivering. "No… No, please, no. I… I beg you. I beg you!"

"Mmh. We do like the sound of it. But you see, the punishment must fit the crime," Lucifer replied in a delicate tone before leaning to better face the sinner. "Tell Us, did you stop when that poor girl begged you to?"

Lucifer thus gave one silent nod to Baal, and the man resumed sobbing as the demon dragged him back to where he had come from.

Then, as he passed by you, he shouted, "Hey, you! The angel! Help me, please, help me! Take me with you! I'll be a good servant to our Lord, I swear!"

Your eyes followed the trail his dismembered limbs were leaving in the ash and dust then moved back to his. His pleas triggered no pity in you; Hell was his rightful place.

"The Devil is your Lord."

You obviously spent the rest of the afternoon gathering further clues as to where the Cup of Eternal Grace might be hidden. There were no concrete results for the moment, but you knew you were heading in the right direction. You could feel it.

The lead you were now following had to do with a demonic marketplace where powerful artefacts and forbidden objects were traded among demons. Lucifer had quickly explained that the Obsidian Bazaar, as it was called, was a hidden, ever-shifting place in Hell, moving with the Shadows, difficult to find and even harder to navigate without the right connections.

How hard could it be? you thought. With the Morningstar as your guide, you couldn't possibly get lost, could you?

But though the initial tip had come from a low-ranking demon who, when questioned by his sovereign, had quickly folded under pressure –and of whom you now couldn't recall the name no matter how hard you tried because you had spent the whole interaction asking yourself if he hadn't been one of those you had personally fought during the Great War in Heaven–, the rest of the demons were not as cooperative.

Sure, you had the Devil on your side, and they had told you just yesterday, after threatening their minions, that nobody here would try to make this any harder for you. But this was your quest, not Lucifer's, and the Devil wasn't exactly one to hand everything on a silver platter. In fact, they seemed rather content to let you lead the way, observing your efforts with amusement.

At one point, after yet another fruitless conversation with a particularly slippery imp who vanished into a cloud of smoke before you could press further, you turned to Lucifer with a hint of exasperation.

"I thought You said Your subjects wouldn't hinder my search," you remarked, trying to keep your tone neutral but unable to mask the edge in your voice.

Lucifer arched a graceful eyebrow, a subtle smirk on their lips. "We did, and they are not. They are merely... exercising caution. The Obsidian Bazaar is not exactly fond of uninvited guests, especially those from above."

You crossed your arms, irritated. "So You're letting me chase phantoms."

The smile that tugged at Lucifer's lips widened a bit. "Consider it part of your education. You might learn something valuable if you keep your eyes and mind open."

You weren't sure if they were talking about the chalice or something else entirely, but the underlying message was clear.

Walking and searching, you witnessed Lucifer interacting with various denizens of Hell –some bowed in respect, others approached with petitions or grievances. Just like at the meeting, Lucifer addressed each with a measured fairness, dispensing judgments and solutions that, while stern, were undeniably just. Some on the other hand had not lost their rebellious tendencies after their Fall, quite the opposite, and Lucifer knew just what to do with each of them as well.

"You care for them," you found yourself saying aloud at some point, the thought escaping your mouth before you could hold it back.

Lucifer glanced at you, an unreadable expression flickering across their features. "'Care' is too strong of a strong word. We told you, it is Our function to maintain order here. Chaos has its place, but too much of it becomes tiresome."

"But You listen to them. You involve Yourself directly," you insisted. "In Heaven, all those trivial matters are delegated."

"We are well aware, dear. After all, this is the very reason of your presence in Our kingdom, is it not? But We are not like Our Father."

"Evidently."

There was bitterness in the ruler's tone, long-held resentment, too, and what you could best describe as hurt despite your knowledge that they were far from being sensitive.

It pained you. But before you could say anything else, Lucifer halted, their eyes narrowing on a demon walking a little further ahead.

"What?" you inquired after a pause. "Should we follow him?"

Frowning, Lucifer remained silent until the demon was out of sight.

"No," they said eventually. "Let us not let the trail go cold."

Unfortunately, you missed the location of the Obsidian Bazaar one too many times, and it became risky to try to find it again if you wanted to be back to the Silver City on time.

It was frustrating, yes, but you were now more confident that you would succeed in your mission than you had ever been, so it didn't matter too much in the end. Besides, as much as you hated to admit it, you weren't particularly in a hurry to complete this task any more. You still had so many questions, there was now so much you wanted to learn… Heaven could wait; there was, after all, all eternity ahead.

"It is getting late. Would you care to join Us for supper again?"

You weren't hungry, of course, and you knew that if Heaven ever got word of how you concluded your daily trips to Hell, you would be accused of fraternising with the enemy. Yet, you only hesitated a split second before nodding. "I would."

The Lightbringer smiled then –a real smile– and, for once, you both flew back to their palace.

"Your wings are strong," Lucifer commented as you entered the dining hall.

"Did You have any doubt?" you replied, only half-joking.

"No."

"No?"

Again, Lucifer invaded your personal space. They were getting increasingly confident in overstepping the boundaries their royal function commanded, and you were getting proportionally incapable of blocking those inexplicable things that happened to you whenever they did.

This time, they even went as far as allowing their fingertips to graze your cheek, and it made you freeze.

"We see so much potential in you, sweet Dominion. And Heaven is wasting it all. Such a shame…"

It took you a second, but you eventually shook your head and sat down, determined to enjoy your supper without thinking too much back on what had just happened.

As it seemed customary in Hell, the meal was succulent, far from moderated, filled with exotic dishes that tickled your senses. Conversation flowed more easily than the previous day, though, with topics ranging from the absurdities of certain demonic customs to shared memories of celestial events long past seen from two very distinctive points of view.

With certain things Lucifer said, you even let yourself laugh. Good gracious Lord… You laughed. The realisation of how at ease you had become in Lucifer's presence made you flush, but though disconcerting to say the least, you had to admit it was not an entirely unwelcome feeling.

"Who thought fun could be found in the depths of Hell?" you said some time around desert, letting your mirth speak.

"Fun can be found anywhere that is not the Silver City," Lucifer retorted as they brought their glass to their lips to sip on some wine.

"Oh, I must disagree, Lightbringer."

"Mmh. Of course you must."

"Angels know how to have fun sometimes, have You forgotten?"

Lucifer leaned forward to try you. "Please, do tell Us one single amusing story from above. Go on, entertain Us."

Not one to back down from a challenge, you thought about their request for a moment.

"Well, there was actually this one time, during one of our routine cloud formation, we were tasked with creating a particularly elaborate pattern in the sky. You know, something grand and inspiring for humans to look at."

You threw yourself into the story which, quite frankly, was not as amusing as you remembered now that you were telling it to the ruler of Hell. But you thought the wine helped and hoped it had the same intoxicating effect on their mind so your words would at least get a smirk out of them.

And so you went on, giggling every now and then, entirely oblivious to how Lucifer was looking at you for over half of the account.

"...and Ariel, poor thing, she was so stuck in that cumulonimbus, desperately flapping about, there were feathers everywhere and–" Finally, you noticed the strangely fond expression on Lucifer's face and interrupted yourself. "What?"

"You truly are something else, are you not?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" You asked with a residual chuckle.

From the other side of the table, Lucifer's eyes raked over your body before avoiding you altogether.

"We're not entirely sure…"

That evening, back in the Silver City, you couldn't shake the day's events from your mind, much less what Lucifer had said at supper.

Even during compline, your thoughts wandered, incapable of focusing on the sermon but replaying conversations and observations, with so many questions swirling in your mind.

And it must have shown on your face because as you exited the Cathedral, Camael, the closest thing to a friend Heaven could allow you and next to whom you often prayed, came skipping to your side.

"Is everything alright?"

"Of course, Camael."

"Are you sure? You seem distant lately."

You paused for an instant, wondering whether to be brutally honest or tell only part of the truth. You chose the latter, picking your words carefully. "This mission in Hell is... more complex than I anticipated. There is much to consider, that's all."

"I could tell," Camael said, a falsely concerned look in their purple eyes. You were so tired of Heaven's hypocrisy. "There is this look on your face…" They looked left, then right, as if to make sure nobody would hear, and then whispered, "I think it's doubt."

Your heart skipped a beat, and you felt your head starting to spin. Doubt? That was a word that couldn't be thrown around carelessly here.

"Well, I–"

"Trust in His Plan," Camael advised you as they put a hand on your shoulder. "Clarity will come in time."

"Clarity… Yes."

"I have to go now. It's my turn to oversee the Warriors' training. Peace be upon you, my friend."

"Uh-huh. Peace be upon you, Camael."

Meanwhile, in the City of Dis, Lucifer was following the faint yet unmistakable trail they had sensed earlier that day while searching for the Obsidian Bazaar with you. Or rather, more accurately, they were looking for the demon that had caught their attention then, Lahash, whose penchant for meddling in divine affairs was well-known.

Finding him home, Lucifer entered the demon's lair with an aura of quiet menace. Lahash, hunched and trembling, had been expecting a confrontation since this afternoon, but the sight of Lucifer's icy gaze actually sent a shiver of fear down his thorny spine.

"Y-Your Majesty," he began, his voice shaking as he attempted to bow. "I… I didn't know it was of such importance. If I had, I would have–"

"Silence," Lucifer cut him off abruptly. "Do not insult Us with your lies, Lahash. You knew exactly what you possessed. Have We not made it clear that this was of personal significance to Us yesterday?"

The demon's eyes darted around the room, searching for some escape or leverage. "Perhaps we could, uh… make a deal? I mean, You–"

Before he could finish, Lucifer's hand shot out, grabbing him by the throat and pinning him against the jagged stone wall. His words turned to choked gasps.

"We do not barter with the likes of you," the monarch hissed, their eyes blazing with fury. "You have meddled with forces beyond your understanding. You will regret this."

Then, as Lucifer reached out to claim the Cup from Lahash' hands, a voice sliced through the silence. "I see You have found what you were looking for."

Mazikeen.

Delicately cradling the chalice, Lucifer let the traitor fall to the ground and replied calmly. "I have indeed. And now it is secure."

Mazikeen's eyes narrowed. "Are You planning to tell the angel? Or will You keep playing this game until You have become bored?"

"This is no game, Mazikeen. Timing is everything."

Stepping closer, Mazikeen's voice dropped to a harsh snarl. "You are treading dangerous ground, my Lord. Celestial beings and Fallen Ones do not mix, it never ends well with them. Remember who and what we are."

Anybody else but the she-demon would have been probably ended by now, because such affront terribly irritated the Morningstar.

"We are well aware of our identities and roles. Perhaps it is you who needs reminding of your place."

But Mazikeen was relentless. "Do You truly believe that angels can be trusted? That any of them could see You for anything other than what You once were –God's most favoured, now cast out? No one will ever understand You as I do."

Lucifer raised their eyebrow, their eyes twinkling with amusement. "Jealousy, Mazikeen? We thought you above such trivialities."

"I only seek to protect You. That angel–"

Lucifer raised their hand to silence her. "Is Ours to deal with, as We see fit. Your devotion is not unnoticed, nor is it unappreciated. But We will not tolerate someone who lets their emotions blind their judgement at Our side. You would do well to remember that."

Clenching her jaw, Mazikeen swallowed her pride with difficulty before leaving without another word. Lucifer watched her with a strange lump forming in their throat as they began to realise what a slippery slope they were on indeed.

But what had been done couldn't be undone, nor did Lucifer truly want to put an end to all this. They would just wait to see how this would play out.

And there was evening, and there was morning –the third day.

[devsgames]

Open-World AI Design: On The Conflict Between Systemic and Scripted Behaviours

I've been playing Skyrim recently, and having not played it for over a decade one thing that has really been standing out to me is how painfully stilted the scripted NPC interactions are in the game. Seeing just how rough these sequences are reminded me of my own experiences designing non-systemic moments in primarily systemic-open world games, and I wanted to reflect on that.

Disclaimer: I recognize that "Why does the AI in this open world game suck?!" is a common complaint The Gamers have and that it's not a new observation by any stretch, and please don't misconstrue me as bashing A Thing You Like. You can still like it. It's fine. I just think it's interesting how the needs and philosophy of open-world AI often encroach upon and affect the execution of highly scripted sequences in open-world games like these.

THE PROBLEM: SCRIPTED INTERACTIONS

Here's a clip of a sequence from my playthrough of Skyrim that illustrates part of the problem. For context, this sequence occurs at the end of a quest chain wherein you help an old and sick alchemist and his apprentice create an ancient artifact he's been trying to make for his entire life:

I think there's a lot of things that are incredibly lifeless (haha!) in the execution here:

The apprentice is standing at the foot of the bed and not next to it, while the mentor is sleeping on his side and not even looking at him.

The transition from Sleeping -> Ragdoll death when the mentor dies looks REALLY goofy.

The phial the apprentice explicitly mentioned as 'filling up' isn't visible anywhere in the scene at all.

The sudden transition from death -> NPC approach -> conversation leaves no room to organically breathe.

The narrative feels incredibly serious and sombre, but the execution is so hard to take seriously.

The ambient music is jaunty and heroic, when tonally the interaction is very sad.

The player doesn't really have much to do here, aside from stare in the corner while waiting for two AI to talk.

The narrative feels incredibly serious and sombre, but the execution is so whiplash-y and abrupt it's hard to take the outcome seriously.

Now first I want to preface that there's a few obvious causes for some of the awkward 'genericness' of this scene, much of which is rooted in more standard production/resources issues with any AAA open-world game. For example, creating an animation of someone holding the phial in question while it fills up would be too expensive to justify creating for just one side quest, only for it to never be used again. While it certainly doesn't help the sequence, I think there's always varying degrees of 'eh whatever it's a video game' plausible deniability that happen here among players too, and it's always understandable that elements like these might fall absent from this scene as a result. It's also a dang video game from 2011, so that certainly doesn't help.

Aside from that, I think a big issue in realizing scripted sequences in open world games like this stems primarily from open-world AI and interactions are often fundamentally at odds with these types of scripted scenes, which in turn reflect poorly on the implementation of the latter.

WHY SYSTEMIC AI?

To understand why scripted sequences can easily feel stunted it's helpful to look at what an AI in an open world context is most frequently expected to do, because it's the baseline of how an AI performs in an open-world game.

In a traditional game a "bandit" AI might only really need to do basic behaviours that have concrete and easily-defined outcomes, such as search for a player and attack them until they die.

In an open-world game like Skyrim an AI primarily has to act believably in an open world where almost anything is liable to happen. A "bandit" in an open-world context would need to keep a running track who is hostile and who is friendly (based on a variety of different changing parameters), pick and choose different locations to travel from organically, travel to potentially unknown locations across a persistent world, use modular systemic behaviours in a way that still appear organic and unique, remember which points it needs to be travelling to and from, what areas it can and cannot go, flee from combat, understand what objects in the world it can and can't interact with, and a lot lot more on top of that. What's more is every AI in the game have to run these same calculations themselves at all time about everything around them - there's a ton of moving parts and AI with different objectives and executions operating at the same time. This is also why systemic AI in open-world games tend to suck - because an open world is inevitably going to write realism cheques that no AI can feasibly cash because there's so much going on in an open-world game.

However there's also good reason why all this complexity is necessary! Killing a bandit who is stationed idly at a guard post in his camp is passable encounter, but killing a bandit who accidentally draws aggression from a patrolling sabre cat from the forest nearby his guard post creates a story out of what was otherwise just an okay encounter. These systemic behaviours are often what people like and expect to see in open-world games to give the world flavour.

On Far Cry there was a name for this sort of concept: the "anecdote factory" - the idea that any sort of emergent experience should make up a fun 'anecdote' for people to talk about and reflect on afterwards, and this approach to AI design is usually built to supports those systemic and organic narratives. This systemic-first AI design is a large draw of what makes open-world games what they are - without this the whole world easily can feel rigid, predictable, and lifeless.

Now this is all well and good, I hear you say, but weren't you just complaining about scripted sequences? Why are you talking about systemic AI? How are these two even related to each other?

Well herein lies the issue: what happens when your immensely systems-based AI needs to do one hyper-specific thing exactly as you planned?

THE FRICTION: SYSTEMIC VS. SCRIPTED

Scripted AI design is often a philosophical counter to systems-driven AI - while a systemic open-world AI needs to calculate many different elements and act out generic AI behaviours on the fly, scripted AI often needs to successfully do a sequence of bespoke behaviours the same way every single time, usually in relation to a larger narrative or sequence.

This causes friction - potentially a lot of friction, depending on the implementation.

The initial assumption most people would have is that if a designer really needs an AI to do one thing perfectly, then they should just force the AI to do it! After all, if it's that important, then why not make absolutely sure it gets done? However, the problem with this approach is that forcing an open-world AI to do just one thing actually makes the AI less realistic in context of an open world game.

In the above scene lets say the player hates the apprentice and decides to blast the apprentice with a fireball while he was speaking to his master. They'd then logically expect the apprentice to react to being hurt by the player and become hostile (as anyone would be, if hit with a fireball). This would be expected to break the sequence as combat would ensue as the apprentice tries to get revenge. This is believable, as it would make the apprentice feel more like an actual human being with the desire to not die. If by contrast the apprentice was forcibly scripted to perform his lines and execute the behaviour like nothing happened, it would feel even worse! This is why most open-world games will actually almost never force AI to perform scripted behaviours if they can help it, because it usually reflects poorly on the intelligence of your AI should anything else happen during the execution of the event.

Unfortunately, the tradeoff to ensuring scripted AI still abide by systemic rules is it means that scripted AI are now expected to perform actions are now operating at the whim of systems, which may choose to override it at any time. For example, if the systemic AI overrides the scripted component of the AI, the apprentice may get distracted by something (a passing enemy, a wandering animal, a stray arrow from nearby combat, etc.) and not complete the sequence as it was intended. This might not seem like a major issue, but keep in mind that a scripted AI failing to perform a task usually results in a sequence break - which in terms of scripted sequences can break a player's entire playthrough. It also reflects poorly on narrative, when scenes of narrative importance might be undermined by systemic nonsense that may happen.

Whenever mission designers witnessed these sort of behaviours on Far Cry the inside joke was that we were just abiding by the "anecdote factory" philosophy. After all, the AI was acting systemically by-design - it just so happened that the anecdote was that a systemic behaviour distracted them. :)

In fact on the production of Far Cry 6 I spent actual months troubleshooting and wrangling AI that just would not adhere to scripted sequences due to the overriding of systemic AI behaviours. For every minute you spend in a scripted sequence you can bet there was hours and hours and hours of unseen troubleshooting behind it!

Now what does any of this have to do with how awkward this conversation looks?

The philosophy of your game design extends downward, and systems-driven is no exception. Instead of using special, bespoke behaviours in quests it becomes cheaper and safer to bank on existing systemic that are widely tested instead of trying to push the limits of what an AI can do. Remember that a sequence failing to execute can block a player's progression entirely, or alternatively result in a ton of work or additional bugs for a level designer putting them together. Safe execution is usually the #1 priority, and that's a tough thing when lots of your scripted implementation is relying on the tech equivalent of shoestring and bubblegum holding it all together.

Even this small scene reflects the drawbacks of a systems-driven philosophy. A good example here is when the mentor dies - he doesn't smoothly transition into a 'death' state, or lie still with his eyes closed, or something more appropriate. Instead, he pops into a ragdoll and plays his generic death sound effect, because his AI is adopting the same generic systemic 'death' actions any AI in the game would. It's how an AI was designed to die from the ground up across the board, so this AI has to die like that for the rest of the game's systems to properly work around it. It could look cleaner, it could look nicer, but for a scripted sequence in a system-driven game it just needs to work.

You'll also notice the apprentice doesn't have any particular uniqueness to his behaviours around the master. He doesn't kneel next to the bed, or do much else for that matter - he just plays his idle on a point until the scripted sequence tells him not to. In fact outside of combat in Skyrim you'll notice that most NPCs use these generic animations because they're built into the AI and are the most likely animation to work in the widest number of cases. In fact, I could probably list the most commonly used animations in Skyrim based on how many times I saw them while playing. A Quest Designer could try to spice a scene up or add variety, but most of the time that would create unnecessary risk around these sequences, so in most instances safe and universal generics are the way to go - which unfortunately limits visual interest because they don't adapt well to unique contexts (like the death of a loved one).

Even something seemingly small like changing music - if we ignore the cost of creating new songs - can bring unnecessary risk. Music is also handled systemically by the game's systems, transitioning based on environment and combat with different enemy factions, so overriding that to play unique songs brings even further risk on a scripted setup - what if combat breaks out during the sequence? Or if the overridden music isn't correctly reverted back by the system? The safer option is to work closer to the bare minimum (i.e. leave the music as-is) than it is to actually push the envelop a bit and bring on further risk.

Conclusion

Thanks for reading! Hopefully this sheds a bit of light on how scripted interactions are uniquely affected by systemic design philosophy and some of the drawbacks surrounding it. I feel fairly confident that any open-world game has had to deal with the friction between these two approaches and needed to meet an awkward middle ground as a result. After all, it's sorta an inevitability when you're making massive games intended to mimic a believable world.

[therealmsdelulu]

I can see you (Y/N and Jonah’s version)

Pairing: Jonah x fem!reader

A/N: Ignore how some of the lyrics aren't pink, it kept messing up. Also first smut, bare with me ya'll 😀.

Summary: You’re at a premiere party and your coworker keeps making not so subtle moves on you. Inspired by 'I Can See You' by Taylor Swift.(Lyrics in italics and pink)

Warnings: SMUTTT. Oral (fem receiving)

Your recent film was a huge success thanks to the incredible chemistry and or sexual tension between you and your coworker Jonah.

You currently had your back against a wall in the hallway of the host's house, drinking from a red solo cup and talking with a cast mate when you suddenly feel a shoulder brush against yours. You turn around only to see Jonah flash you a smirk before walking away.

"You brush past me in the hallway And you don't think I, I, I can see ya, do ya?"

You scoffed lightly before returning to your conversation. You tried to focus on the words being said to you but you catch yourself watching Jonah down the hall hoping he wouldn't see you.

"I’ve been watchin' you for ages And I spend my time tryin' not to feel it"

You shook your head subtly trying to get yourself together. 'But what would you do if I went to touch you now?,' you fantasized in your head, 'What would you do if they never found us out, What would you do if we never made a sound?'

You turned your head in the direction that Jonah went only to see him at the end of the hallway watching you carefully.

'Cause I can see you waitin' down the hall from me

Gathering your nerves you walked over to Jonah. "Has anyone ever told you that you have a staring problem. Take a picture it'll last longer." you teased and he chuckled darkly before closing the gap in between you. His hand gripped your chin as he backed you up against the wall.

'And I could see you up against the wall with me'

"I like to call it the Y/N effect. You really have a hold on me darling," he whispered into your ear, letting go of your chin and placed his hands on your waist, pulling you impossibly closer to him.

'And what would you do? Baby, if you only knew That I can see you'

"Really? What effect do I have on you Jonah," you whispered back and he could hear the smirk in your words.

"How about I show you," he suggested before attaching his lips to your neck, leaving hot-open mouthed kisses on your skin, you bit your lip in an attempt to hold back the moans that threatened to spill out.

"You really wanna do this here?" you asked breathlessly knowing that anybody could walk in on the two of you at any given time. He picked you up, your legs wrapped around his torso and carried you to the nearest bathroom.

'And we kept everything professional But something's changed, it's somethin' I, I like They keep watchful eyes on us So it's best that we move fast and keep quiet'

He locked the bathroom door behind the two of you and placed you down on the counter. "Do you want this?" he asked looking you in the eyes and you simply nodded but that wasn't enough for him. "Words, pretty girl," he said with a slightly teasing tone.

"Yes Jonah, I want this," you said quietly and he smiled in satisfaction before pressing his lips against yours in a passionate kiss. His hands gripped at the base of your hips and he slowly took off your dress. He gently cupped your breast over your bra and kissed the exposed skin, making sure to leave behind a trail of hickies.

"Can I take this off?" he asked toying with the clip of your bra and you nodded eagerly. He unclipped your bra with ease and began to plant open-mouthed kisses on the newly exposed skin. His hands found a resting place on your hips as he trailed his kisses lower and closer to where you needed him the most.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Jonah asked looking into your eyes.

"I've never been more sure of anything," you assured him and he gently slid down your panties, getting on his knees in front of the counter.

His hands gripped at your hips as he placed gentle kisses on the insides of your thighs as he began to gently bite and suck at the skin. He looked up into your eyes as he licked a long stripe up your slit before licking and sucking at your clit earning soft moans and whimpers from your mouth only encouraging him to speed up the movement of his tongue.

You gripped the edges of the sink while his tongue flickered between your slit and he hooked his arms around your thighs, holding you in place as he devoured you like a man starved.

You looked down at him and found his eyes gazing into yours watching you intently as he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked desperately. The view was making you dizzy. The way his eyes bore into your own as his tongue wrapped around your wetness made you grind your hips into his mouth seeking more friction.

He gave a long stroke with the flat of his tongue and sucked you into his mouth tugging slightly and you could feel the pull of your throbbing clit. Then he spread his mouth wide over that sensitive nub and sucked even harder, a sudden stabbing sensation making you cry out in pleasure. Your whimpers and moans grew significantly louder as the coil in your stomach tightened his tongue moving faster while he felt you clenching around his mouth. 

He pulled away slightly. "Cum for me, love," he whispered before continuing his tongue's brutal attack against your clit. You cried out in pleasure as you approached you orgasm and he slowed down his licks, helping you ride out your orgasm.

He stood back up and licked the remainder of your wetness off of his lips looking into your eyes as he did.

"You gonna let me return the favor?" you asked with a sly smirk.

[mediocre-shark-tales]

Qsmp x Streamer reader (1)

Summary - A friend has asked you to join the QSMP to help fill some gaps in the lore and regain the viewership that qsmp has lost. So you get your very own event where most of the qsmp members finally meet you.

Warnings - None for this part

There is a chance for this to turn into a love trope of some kind but for now there is focus on fluffy platonic-ness

Masterlist

I sat down in my blue gaming chair and been to turn on my computer. Today I would be joining a new Minecraft world, one of my friends was an admin of this place. I had kept up with it mainly because I loved to watch my friend play their role, but I also had become friends with some of the streamers they already had in the world. I was a pretty well known streamer, definitely not anywhere near the level of most of them. However I was at a decent spot and I had the chance to meet a few of them occasionally. I hit it off well with Tubbo, Charlie and Philza. Through them I got to meet many more streamers and had gotten a collection of friends to stream with, however since I lived in the U.S.A, timezones made things tough. But I still made it work.

Anyways, my admin friend had asked me to be a new member of this lore and world simply because they needed someone to fill a few holes in the lore and it would benefit their time limit for the next bg lore drop. As most know they had just recently dropped the Purgatory double week bomb. After all the work that took and the time they had to use, now they needed to step up their game and make the next big lore drop. Of course they wouldn't tell me anymore than a summarized context of what my lore was going to be and also explaining why I was there.

If I was to summarize all of this better, I would say they needed me to help keep up the viewership or better yet the engagement. So they had more time to perfect the next lore event.

Absolutely nobody besides the admins knew I was joining the qsmp, I told no one. I had tweeted out after we had finalized the date and time for my entrance into the world. Telling my fans to clear their schedules during that date and time and big news was going down. Of course they began spamming that post with questions asking for more hints. I instead ignored the post and any questions regarding it from that day forth.

I typed in my password and opened up twitch, I had about 5 minutes left before I needed to start stream. So I quickly started up everything, me being me I had already pre-prepped hours in advance. My viewers would be given 5 minutes to join stream before I would start actually streaming. However while they danced to my stream starting soon music and replaying clip of sharks, I would be prepping on the qsmp.

Days ago my admin friend had kicked everyone off the qsmp so I could login and get my name changed. This way when everyone logged back on for the event today, no one could accidentally find out the secret before the event was over.

Finally it was time and I watched as my viewer count began to skyrocket, people screaming in chat that they have been waiting for today for forever. I smiled it was always fun to see my chat get excited about something like this.

I logged into the qsmp, everyone had just gotten kicked for the event. I was the only one besides admins allowed on the server right now. They set me up in my lore relevant area. Being a streamer known for my love for sharks, they decided to introduce me as a mer-person. Except instead of the mermaid one may think of, I was half shark. Similar to that older show named H2O, once I got into water I could choose to shift into my mer-form. My friend had done an amazing job creating this mod and making sure I was the only one who could access the powers but others could still see it.

Besides the obvious visual change, it also allowed me to breathe underwater and swim 5x faster than the others. Though foolish could keep up well with me seeing as he has his shark fin now too.

The Admins had me hidden on an island they built for this event, though they said I could keep it if I wish to make my home there. On this island, I would be caged up inside this little hut. Even though this hut was too small for anything really to fit in it, there was a secret hatch that led down to a hug basement where I was caged and kept. The idea was that I had been captured by pirates and caged away. So the members of the qsmp were now tasked with saving me from the pirates. of course the pirates were all played by admins that usually played the 'workers'.

My stream timer ended and I started up my screen to play for the best experience my viewers were gonna receive. I wanted to keep them in suspense so I had made my own mini lore like message. It started off with the sound of a typewriter as text showed up of screen. "Todays stream will be a little bit different, for the first few minutes you will experience the perspectives of other streamers." Tubbo, Philza, Foolish and Niki's current streams all popped up for them. I had found a way to show their live streams while also adding having my sounds and text play for my viewers. "For an easier experience choose a streamer to watch for a bit, you'll know when is best to come back. Otherwise you can stay, however the live stream on the screen will switch every 5 minutes." I watched as my viewership went down, most people choosing to watch from a specific streamer instead of my way.

I smiled and on a separate screen I pulled up all 4 streams, I would switch between them on my own accord until they got close enough to me. This would help entertain myself since I couldn't do much right now, besides exist in this 1 by 2 block fish tank.

I watched Phil's stream first, he had just logged back into the server. "Hello new people, turns out today some new lore is happening? The admins said that some crazy stuff had been set up, like another event." He was about to teleport somewhere as the members who had logged on today were all wanting to meet up. But the admins had instead teleported them to the movie theater. This spooked him but he quickly recovered of course. "Oh hey fit! Do you have any idea what's going on today?" I smiled to myself as I watched them begin their little theorizing huddle. Tubbo had joined them in seconds, he had been itching for some changes recently and was overly-excited.

There conversations were cut short by a qsmp worker walking in playing a loud noise to get their attention. Phil had walked over expecting to be given a book to read, how ever this time the qsmp worker had been given a sign to hold. This sign was enlarged so everyone could read the words 'sit down'. In seconds everyone had their own seat and went dead silent.

The screen turned on and a short video began. It had the same animation style as the purgatory video. They watched as Minecraft pirates rode through a storm on their pirate ship. Seconds later they could see the pirates pulling up a fishing net, but they couldn't see what was in it. The shot changed to an over the shoulder shot with the viewer following the captain, before it showed his face. Watching as his face slowly turned upward into a menacing smile. In the next shot, you could see the ship had docked up to a small island. The captain and his crew walking towards this small hut. One crewmate held a shark tail fin over his shoulder, it looked lifeless. However in the next second there was lots of movement from it, multiply cremates running to help that helpless crewmate. The video ended a a really short shot of an arm grabbing out onto the sand. Then text appeared on the screen "Please save me.." written in red with my coordinates right under it.

"Quick get those cords!" I heard Phil yell as he began to type the coords in chat. Within seconds 5 different members had typed them in chat. After that the group was off, lead by Philza. I watched as Niki, Foolish, Tubbo, Fit, Phil, Bagi, Mouse, Pac, and BBH all began racing out to my location.

Within another 5-10 minutes they had found my island, as they came closer they realized all the pirates were on the island. Phil instantly took over the role of diplomat, trying to talk to the pirates. "We are here for someone, they told us they needed help. Will you do this the easy or the hard way." Of course within seconds they were battling the pirates. It didn't take long as the real fight was meant to be with the captain. That admin was killable however it was gonna take some work from the members, this admin could also spawn random enemies. It took a few more minutes before they killed off the admin, at this time I saw my viewership begin to rise again. I knew they would figure it out, so I toggled off the live streams and turned on my view. They could see my screen and my face-cam now. I smirked at my chat as they went crazy, but I just stayed quiet and showed them my character in third person. This of course just set them off even more as this was completely new to the server.

I heard the voices of my friends getting closer to my room, "Wow this place is actually huge down here! Look treasure!" I heard turbo yell. I unmuted myself in the proximity chat, however I was attuned to sound like I was behind a few walls and such. This way it would sound like I was actually in a tank. I yelled into the mic, with this auto-tuning, I would have to yell to be heard. I would only turn it off when they broke me out of the tank.

"Help! is some there!" They went silent before I heard Phil again followed by Fit. "Yes we are here, where are you!?" "Over Here guys!" The door across the room finally opened and all the members poured in. "Y/n! OMG is that you!?" I heard different people yelling my name as they came closer to see me. "Yes it is, now would you mind breaking me out of here!?" Fit instantly began breaking the glass, water and myself poring out now. "Hey Y/n! nice to see you again but one question... where are you legs!?" Foolish asked. I smiled as I got the message along with everyone else about how the next bit was lore related. "Well you see, I'm a mer-person. No not the classic mermaid you might think of, I'm not part fish. Instead I'm part shark, if you couldn't tell by the shark tail and shark like features I have." When I was in mer-person mode, I also had a dorsal fin on my back. "However seeing as I'll need to be on land you will probably see me more like this." I hit the t button on my keyboard and seconds later my mer form had been toggled off. I heard gasps of wows and awe all around me.

Another message from the admins told everyone that was it for the new lore today, as in that would be all I was allowed to say. Not necessarily that my lore was actually finished for my newly joined status. More was to come of course.

"Wow so we are like the shark people here!" Foolish yelled. I laughed. "Yeah I guess so!" Then I heard another gasp. "Oh my gosh y/n you need to come meet the eggs!" Niki said louder than usual but not yelling. I smiled. "I would love to meet them!" I was told they had left them behind in the hint that they would have to fight something. You know, gotta keep our children safe and all.

While all of the members got into their boats to leave, I instead turned my mer-mode back on and began to swim back with them all. Of course I had to explain how I could breathe underwater and swim faster when I was in this form.

Swimming onto the shore, I turned the mode back off and followed everyone up to spawn. All the parents left, promising to be back quick with their corresponding kids. Basically I was left alone, but pac had decided to stay back to keep me company. I hadn't met him yet so I was glad to get to know someone new. "So do you know everyone here?" I looked at him in game. "Yes and no, like I have met the majority of people on this server before, but I'm only really close with a few of them. But that is only because we hit it off so well when we met that we immediately added each other on things. You know what I'm trying to say right?" Pac nodded in game. "Yeah that makes sense, well I hope we can become good friends too!" I smiled wide, "I'm sure we will Pac." A moment passed and the eggs started to show up.

Smiling faces filled the group again as I met a chatted with all the eggs that were currently online. I surprised most of them by being able to read their signs without the translation device. When I was younger I had decided to learn Spanish and later on I began to learn German as well. The drive to learn German only intensified when I met and became friends with Niki. I am a fast learner so while I wasn't quite perfect, I was at least good.

When Talulah began to play her flute, I danced along with it. Later I would hopefully get to drop the hint that I loved to play instruments too. Which is how I became friends with Wilbur, so hopefully I could befriend his egg too. This brought up the question of when I might get to see him online, it's hard to tell with that man. Especially since he's such a big deal now in the music world with his band.

Either way, I was so glad to have joined this server. I could wait to help move the lore along in a cleaner more flowing way. I especially was excited to have a new way to stay in touch with my friends, make new friend, and hang out with them too.

To be continued...

[ohtobeleah]

Enterprise // Jake Seresin

Chapter Two: Drums Emporium

Summary: Jake wants to see what you’ve got. Sending you into one of his most notorious pubs to see if you’d come out alive. Only keeping a slight plot point from you in the process.

Warnings: Gang-related themes. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Gun violence. Smut. Hangman Au. Jake Seresin Angst.

Word Count: 3.3k

Author Note: If this shit doesn’t work I swear I’m gonna beat this app up. I've got the read more bug, which is super frustrating Anyway—let’s try this again shall we?. (but I'm still on Tumblr's ass about it, ill get this shit fixed)

Masterlist | Chapter One | Chapter Two |

“So about that merger?” You questioned, zipping up the back of your dress as Jake did up the delicate buttons of his dress shirt, working to cover his enterprise's emblem– tattooed deep into his right pec, the covernate Death Adder, wrapping itself around a bloodied dagger. 

“Ah fuck!” There's a certain level of degradation that comes when being bent over the oak of Jake seresin desk. You could think of only two possible answers to the question that was why he liked this specific position. “Auughh, fuck yes!” The first could be Jake Seresin liked his women splayed out on his desk face down ass up purely because he could get deep. He could pull your hair up into a pony and pull your head back to have your moans echoing against the walls. “Jake!!” 

“Love your pussy Y/n–” Jake hissed against your spine, bending over to trail soft kisses up your back as he slowed his pace. Dragging out the fact his high was approaching edging himself. Using you as his personal plaything. “Always such a good fuck.” The second reason? Which was probably the correct answer if you had to pick it in a life or death situation would be he simply couldn't stand the sight of your face. “Do me a favour will ya.” Jake groaned as he ran his hand up your sides before settling them against your hips, pulling you back against his crotch harshly as the tip of his cock nuzzles your cervix. “Stop being such a fucking brat and perhaps we’d get along.” 

“I couldn't think of anything worse.” With tears in your eyes, you could feel the coil inside you turning and winding up to a point beyond return. It made you feel sick that Jake can make you feel so loved yet so disgusting at the same time. You knew you could do better, you deserved better. But the problem was no one deserved to have to settle for you. “Now keep fucking me, m’close.” 

“What about it Y/n?” Jake scoffed at the idea. “You don’t need me or my men to protect you?” Jake raised his head to meet your gaze as he tightened his tie up as far as it would go. “You and I both know you of all people don’t need protecting, you’ve shot more men than I could count on my hands.” You smiled for only a mere second as you  loaded the clip now full of bullets and placed the gun Jake had recently confiscated from you back into your garter belt, now perched pretty on his desk you made sure to move your hair around your neck to cover the deep purple marks he had left in his mouths wake. A fever dream if there ever was one. Four minutes ago you had been bent over his desk, taking him as deep as you could possibly take him, now? You were back to wanting to kill each other as you sat in his presence. 

“That was before I had an entire enterprise to run Hangman, I can’t afford to be risky anymore, I can’t afford to be careless, this is my world now just as much as it’s yours and what? When the time comes are you really going to put a bullet between my eyes?” You jumped off the spot on Jake's desk that you had been perched upon, saunting over to where he stood tucking his shirt into his dress pants, the sound of your red bottoms clicking against the hardwood floor of Jake's study made his cock twitch. But when you gripped a tight hold around the silk of his tie and pulled him down so you could whisper in his ear? Jake shivered, the realisation suddenly hitting him like a ton of bricks that you weren't just some rival gang leader's daughter anymore. You were the gang leader. His enemy. His rival. 

“Because I sure as shit won’t hesitate to take you out if that means I get where I need to be.” Although you and Jake shared undeniable sexual chemistry, it wasn’t enough to overcome the fact that he was the rivalling leader from the north side of Fitzroy. A good fuck was all that would ever come out of the relationship you shared together, a mutual understanding that even two of Fitzroy’s most notorious gang leaders needed to feel some sort of emotion every once and a while. “Nothing but bloodshed would come if we didn’t call a trues.” 

Jakes lips turned upright into a devilish smirk, you could almost hear the little cogs in his mind turning with ideas as he pushed himself away from you, grabbing his navy blue suit jacket that had been discarded absentmindedly in your quick heist to rid yourself of any article of clothing that wasn't needed, before placing it over his broad, stupidly muscular shoulders.

“I'll consider it.” He sighed out, making you seeth just a little more. Fuck him and fuck his Cheshire  like smile. “If you convince my men.” Jake reached for the gun you had only just placed snuggly back against your thigh, the softness of his fingertips made you shiver. Following the trajectory of which Jake raised the gun, you reached for it as he held it over his head, adorning a grin which could break his face in two. “Without this, I'll consider the merger.” 

“Name a time and a place.” You huffed, walking directly towards the doors to leave, you had thought the conversation was over—that Jake would get back to you in a few days perhaps. He’d send someone to speak with you. But Jake's voice echoed through the study as your hand fell softly against the door handle. Making you turn cold as ice. 

“Drums, and now.” His voice was far too low and far too serious. You felt your stomach drop, as you let go of the handle, turning back fully engulfed with anger.

“You've gone mad haven't you?!” You hissed as you walked closer, Jake's chest pressing against you as your chest heaved heavily with anxiety. “That’s a god damn suicide mission with a gun! and you wanna send me in unarmed? Fuck you, Seresin!”

Drums emporium was Death Adder property, a real hot spot of all things violent. The underground bar attracted the likes of things from unregistered poker games to private strip dances to bone breaking brawls. Jake knew full well the chances of such a young woman walking in alone and unarmed wouldn’t go well, especially with the news travelling quickly that you were now top dog of Katipo gang. 

Jake's hand came to squish your cheeks together, lips puckering slightly as he pulled your face closer to his, an evil look overshadowing his entire face as he stared into your wide and shocked eyes. The same eyes Jake saw in his dreams. The ones that would haunt his nightmares and sooth his wet dreams. The same eyes he dreams off at the altar. 

“Remember who you're talking to, pretty girl, I wouldn’t want to see you get hurt before you even get a chance to prove yourself to my men.” Jake's eyes were full of rage, how dare you speak to him that way. He let go of your face as you stumbled back slightly, stunned because you really did forget how cruel he could be. “That’s the deal, take it or leave it, walk out of Drums in one piece and I'll merge with you, any woman who can walk out alive is worth my time, besides the women that keep my men entertained.” Jake chuckled before walking around to sit at his desk, feet kicked up and crossed over as he flung his arms up to rest behind his head. “Come out in a body bag and–well–” He cocked his head not saying what you knew he was implying.

You felt as if the weight of the world was resting on your shoulders, your father never would’ve endured such treatment let alone be put in such a high-risk situation in the first place. You didn’t have much of a choice, taking the deal meant risking your life for a man who wouldn’t blink twice at the thought of you being injured, or worse, it only made it easier for Jake to take total control of Fitzroy. Not taking the deal meant walking out of Jake Seresins study still having a target on your back, despite your past, despite all the men you’ve dealt with, fought, taken care of, you needed protection now and nothing was going to stop you doing whatever it took to get it.

“Fine, on one condition of my own.” You agreed, resting your hands on top of the solid oak desk before leaning over slightly, smirking as you remembered Jake's all-important rule. 

Confidence.

“Come with me Hangman, watch me turn your men into nothing but boys.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Not expecting you to accept such a dangerous proposal, Jake was quick to think light on his feet, he knew even without a gun you were a force to be reckoned with. 

You were a siren, seducing men for anything you needed before quickly disposing of them. Jake had watched from a fair as the pretty girl from the south side of Fitzroy blossomed into a killer queen you were always meant to be. Never understanding how you of all people were meant to be the person who he would always have to watch his back over.

It was almost a Romeo and Juliet forbidden fruit type story, Jake wanted the one thing he couldn’t have, you. Jake had been searching high and low for a strong, independent woman who could help him overpower Fitzroy, never finding the perfect one and always coming back to you. 

He needed you, wanted you, craved you. Although he wished for nothing more than to merge the North and South ends of Fitzroy, he needed to see just how well you could hold your own now that you were in control of an entire Empire, and what better way than to test your abilities than to throw your in with the men who shared the same infamous Death Adder tattoo as he. His men, his loyal mob of tough, dirty rotten men who would do just about anything Jake asked of them.he’d sent a few of his men a heads up, texting them about a visitor that would be causing a fuss at Drums, he’s asked them to rough you up a little—if you came out in a bodybag that wouldn’t be any fun now would it. Jake just needed to see how far you’d go. 

Driving through the Northside was a very rare occurrence for you, taking in all that was Fitzroy you didn’t truly know, your mind wandered as you watched the parts of the city you weren't all too familiar with pass by.

“How's Bob?” You questioned softly, not turning to face Jake who was solely focused on the road ahead of him.

“Recovering.” Jake quickly answered with one word. His grip on the steering wheel tightened so much in anger his knuckles nearly turned white. “He’s—recovering.” 

Bob Floyd had been Jake Seresin's best friend since forever really. He had a family, a beautiful little girl Molly and a stunning wife Lexi, deciding to leave the dangerous lifestyle behind in favour of a more vanilla lifestyle as a paramedic to keep his young family safe. It didn’t go down well with some of the older men, once a Death Adder, always a Death Adder some would say. They had Bob within an inch of his life before Jake had stepped in, some would speculate that altercation is what got Jake the reputation of being ‘The Hangman’, but you would say he was born that way, born to be a leader, born to be a killer, incapable of love just like yourself, denied of all the things that make you feel compassion and remorse as a child. Just like yourself, Jake was the reflection you would see in the mirror, and you were his. 

“That's good to hear.” You mumbled as the car came to a slow stop outside Drums, Jake was quick to kill the lights off and turn off the ignition. “I’ve always liked him better than I liked you—“ That struck a nerve you weren’t expecting to hit as Jake glared at you over his shoulder. 

“First things first.” Jake spoke softly as he turned towards you in his seat. “Order a double shot of Gentalmens when you go to the bar.”

“Why a double shot of Gentlemans?” You asked inquisitively before unstrapping the seatbelt, opening the door as you slowly began manoeuvring your way out of the car.

“A strong drink for a strong girl.” Jake just winked. He wasn’t about to tell you shit. 

“You know you could just give me my gun?” You fired back before slamming the car door leaning in through the window to gauge Jake's reaction. A smirk evident on his face as a slight chuckle escaped past his soft lips. “Would just prefer that anyway.” 

“And let you shoot up the entirety of Drums? No way Y/n I know you far too well.” He spoke through the corner of his mouth before turning the ignition back on, you simply raised an eyebrow in response.

“The deal was you’d come in?” 

“The deal was I’d come with.” Jake answered with a stern tone in his voice “Now go before I change my mind and use your own gun on you.” The seriousness in Jake's tone sent shivers down your spine, it didn’t take you long to listen and before you knew exactly what you were doing you were heading off towards the entrance of Drums, leaving Jake to sit and wait in his Porsche outside, hoping for a miracle you would indeed pull off such a brazen act.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Walking down the stairwell into the dimly lit bar the first thing you noticed were the two lingerie-clad girls dancing seductively around the shiny metal poles. Both booths were packed with men drooling over the dancers who looked happy to be receiving so much undivided attention.

“Daddy issues.” You scoffed slightly as you walked further in, heading straight for the man behind the bar. Sitting down on the stool you flirtatiously placed your elbows onto the bench and rested your chin into your hands.

“What can I get you, sugar?” The man with the busted upper lip and a crooked smile asked politely as you took in his features. 

“Hmm,” You pretended to mull over your decision, biting your bottom lip. “Gentlemans please, double.” You ordered, noticing the bartender's eyes widened a bit, most likely in shock you ordered such a strong drink– But nevertheless he nodded before turning quickly to grab the almost full bottle.

“What's a pretty thing like you doing in such a naughty place like this?” You couldn’t help but notice his thick beard was starting to grey a bit, he must have been on the older side of things. Playing your cards close to your chest you continued holding your own.

“Can’t a pretty girl like myself be into some naughty stuff?” Grabbing the freshly poured drink and sliding off the stool, turning back quickly to see his jaw almost hitting the ground “On the house right?” You teased before seeing him slightly nod his head yes before you made your way deeper inside the club. Before you made it too far you felt the cold feeling of metal pressing hard into your lower back, stopping you in your tracks, this shit was becoming old far too quickly. 

“Only if naughty stuff consists of trespassing, right Y/n?” The deep voice whispered over your shoulder as you turned to face Jake's right-hand man, Javy Machado. “Or should I say raining Capofamiglia of the Katipo” Coyote hissed before you heard the all too familiar sound of the revolver clicking, ready to be fired at any moment. 

“This didn’t take long” You thought as you sculled the two shots of liquor before whipping your lips with your forearm. “I’m unarmed Javy, killing a woman is one thing but an unarmed woman just makes you a coward.”

“You’re not a woman in my eyes Y/n just another one of us, fair game” Javys hand came to caress the small of your back as he waked you away from the crowd. “Let’s go somewhere more private, yeah? Maybe you can show me what’s under this beautiful dress?” You only smirked a wild grin as you saw your opening, walking with Javy’s feet nipping at the back of your red bottom, shooting your shot you dug your heel into the top of his shoe, causing a gut churning hiss to be heard through the bar.

“MOTHER FUCK---” Javy shouted as you spun around to grip the gun and shoved him away, working quick to disarm him and arm yourself. Pointing his own gun at him point blank into his chest as a laugh escaped your smug lips, it couldn't have moved past your lips fast enough.

“Oh Coyote, you know better than to mess with me.” You chuckled before pressing the gun into his neck. “Next time you try that shit with me I'll kill you without regret, have some respect.” 

“Respect is earnt, and you haven't earnt shit Y/n, you’re just daddy's little girl, running around the ankles of the big boys like a goddamn chihuahua.” It wasn't that Javy and you didn't get along, it was more about territory and pride and all those stupid things you hated the most about this stupid gang rivalry. In another life you thought you and Coyote could have actually been friends, or just acquaintances with mutual beliefs. But that just wasn't the case here. 

“I came here to see if you'd be interested in a goddamn merger Coyote, but like fuck would I ever trust you after this.” As you pulled the hammer back on Javys gun, You watched as he flinched, believing for just a second that you'd shoot him without mercy. “I'll just take over Fitzroy on my own and burn all you dickheads in the process.” You spat before turning to the rest of the bar who by now had locked eyes on you, guns drawn but nobody dared to shoot.  

You backed up the stairs with a grin on your face, strutting your stuff towards an awaiting Jake who looked stunned to see you. Getting out of the car quickly to jog towards you, something you don’t see a man in a suit do every day.

“Whose fucking gun and how?” Jake asked quickly and rather frantically, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he ushered you back to the car with his hand resting against the supple skin of your collarbone. 

“Coyotes, he's lost his touch–you need a better man at your side, Seresin.” You just giggled back before tossing him the gun as you reached the car.

As you opened the car door, Jake's phone dinged in his back pocket, reaching for it he gestured for you to close the door and wait for him, you did just that. You slide your legs inside the car before shutting the door, leaning back against the leather chair, letting out a breath you were sure you had been holding since Jake mentioned the Drums back in his study.

Watching as you closed the door, Jake unlocked his phone to see the text from Javy.

Coyote: “So…. are you going to tell her she ordered an immunity drink or am I?”

Sliding his phone back into his pocket, Jake chose to keep his mouth shut about that part. You were a force to be reckoned with but he needed to make sure you were kept safe. He needed you to be his Queen. 

Fitzroy wasn't big enough for the two of you anymore and there were only two foreseeable options. Merge the North and South sides or bring down your entire Empire, regardless Jake wanted you safe for another day until he could at least figure out what option is worth the risk.

=======================================

Tags: @mishala005 @crazyunsexycool @a-serene-place-to-be @bradshawseresinbabe @demp @multifandomfangirll @lanie-k @xcastawayherosx @aboutelijahhh @clancycucumber230 @agentrose17 @mizzzpink @phoenix1388 @avaleineandafryingpan @blindedbythelightt @emorychase @potato-girl99981 @jimstreetownsme @xoxabs88xox @pono-pura-vida @whoreforseresin @flames-thebitch

[feederandfeedee]

GET TO KNOW US ✨ & FAQ

🧔🏽‍♂️Feeder: R, 28yo, California native and Feeder.

👩🏽 Feedee: Wilson, 26yo, Texas native and Feedee.

Met online, here on Tumblr in 2014 and been in a fat and happy feederistic relationship ever since 💗

(click on the underlined title to visit each website)

✨ Onlyfans: Here you can find our largest selection of images, videos and full length clips! New posts every single day! Feeding, eating, funnel, collabs, sex, masturbation, nudity etc & most of all lots of feedism content!

✨ Curvage: My official curvage page! Visit my gallery, forum page and browse 100s of safe-for-work clips!

✨ ManyVids & Clips4Sale: NSFW clipstores where you can purchase sfw & nsfw full length clips!

✨ SextPanther: Is it fat chat you seek? Click here to get access to instant messaging with Wilson 24/7 (almost). Fat chat, sexting, video chat, picture exchange, video exchange and even female feeder services available! *Messages we receive through social media don’t always get responses*

✨ Custom Requests: Do you have any fantasies you’d like me to make come to life? Want to see me do something specific or special that you may not find in my other videos? Place a custom request for a video here! Turn around is about a week and I offer competitive prices!

✨ Where else can you find me? Reddit has some nsfw photos sprinkled in here and there but I don’t post as often! I post on Instagram pretty frequently and you can always find me making stories about my day-to-day activities and food! Twitter has some really juicy content and previews to most of my clips! I’m almost always on Feabie interacting with the community!

———————————✨ F A Q ✨ ——————————

* I get a lot of the same repeat questions in my ask box and inbox so I’ve compiled a list of those questions and answered them here! Other questions and answers submitted by followers can be accessed by locking #askfeed at the bottom of this post*

What is your starting weight? 150lbs

When did you find out you were into Feedism? Ive always known since I was a kid that my attitude towards “getting fat” and “being fat” were different than the attitudes of people around me.

Current weight? My current weight is visible in weigh in and measurement clips available on all my paid sites!

Do you have a goal weight? Nope! I try not to focus on a number or a destination and enjoy the ride! Feedism for me is about eating, enjoying myself and freedom- not about goals and timelines!

Any bbw/ssbbw idols? I find beauty in lots of individuals online and in person! I see inspiration in everyone but I try not to compare myself to others! So yes and no but I do like to keep a few things to myself!

Are you a feeder or mutual gainer? Short answer: No. long answer: Being a feeder or a mutual gainer is definitely not something I identify with in my personal life. Neither are words that I would use to describe myself. That being said, over the years I’ve been approached by a few individuals requesting female feeder content and encouragement. And I love doing it! The best thing about being a feedee and taking on the role of feeder is the fact that I can tell you exactly what you need to hear to feel turned on and encouraged. That’s because I know exactly what it is that feedee’s love to hear! I get a lot of happiness from encouraging men to eat and become fatter and have successfully porked up a few chubsters. But that happiness comes from the joy I give my feedees by making them feel pleasured. I love doing it and I treat encouraging men to grow as a little hobby of mine. At the end of the day and after all those sessions and conversations, I’m happy to put the phone down and take my rightful place in my personal relationship as feedee.

Didn’t find an answer to your question? Send me an ask, anonymous or not, and I’ll get to it as quickly as I can! Or search through previously asked questions by clicking on the #askfeed at the bottom of this post- your question may have been asked recently! And if I don’t get to your question, don’t be offended! I get a lot of questions but I try to answer them all eventually!

[thistaleisabloodyone]

I just got into Exile tribe as a whole. I love it here, btw lol. But I have a question: What do you mean by "the musha shugyo did cause a collective mental breakdown"

I noticed The Rampage debuted but then was put on a hiatus. Is that the main reason? Or was a reason given?

Hello! Welcome, glad you're here and enjoying it 😊

Due their intensive training, the musha shugyo, before the final line up was decided, they all thought members would be cut. It wasn't clear how large the intended lineup was and how many candidates would be kept.

The vocalists especially thought only two would be in the final line up, because Exile Tribe had never had more than two vocalists to a group before - Exile, Exile the Second, JSB3 and GENE were the only other groups at the time and they were all the twin vocal set up. [random aside - While Exile flirts with being a three/four vocal group occasionally, that's a very recent development.]

So the members were living together in the dorms and competing with each other (so they believed) for a final spot in the line up. Considering they were teenagers, for the most part, at the time, that's a lot of stress for a bunch of kids to be under.

Likiya was 23. Zin turned 20 not long before the intensive training started. And those are the oldest two! There were four birthdays during the musha shugyo - Makoto turned 16, Riku turned 20, Rui turned 19, and Ryu turned 16. Takahide and Takuma did not turn 16 until after the line up was finalized. They were both 15 the whole time

Because they were under so much stress, in such a "You're living with and fighting with these boys for your future" way, as essentially teenagers, they - didn't know if they wanted to continue being in the Rampage even after the lineup was finalized. That was part of the hiatus, from finalized lineup to debut, was they sent everyone back home, the members picked up jobs at EXPG schools and other places, and had to decide if they wanted to keep going, if they wanted to stay the Rampage. All three vocalists apparently told their parents they wanted to quit.

Thankfully, they decided to stick together, but that - wasn't a guarantee, as far as I can tell.

Since Riku is my boy, I've spent a lot of time poking around and he brings up being thankful that he didn't quit in a few places, and I found a voice clip that was subtitled in Japanese, which I transcribed and threw into a machine translator:

Q: Was there ever a time when you thought Riku-san wasn't cut out to be a vocalist? Riku: Of course I did. There were times when I thought it would be better if I quit, and there are many times when I think, "RAMPAGE doesn't need me,'' or "The other fifteen members can do it without me.'' But I can't lie about my feelings like, ``I love music, I love singing.'' I just love RAMPAGE.

I am wondering if that intensely stressful time is why it feels like they spent so much of their early career stressing that they're sixteen. The Rampage is 16, you can't take away one and still have the Rampage. Now I feel there's less of an emphasis on being 16 and they seem to be branching out individually more.

But, yeah. They had a group mental breakdown because they thought they were competing with each other for space in the final group.

[giant-tiny-fiber-friends]

Knitting in G/T

Let's get started with a classic!

(This is a continuation of a conversation that began here, for context)

I'm intending for this to be partly an informative post, as well as a conversation starter in case anyone had ideas or questions regarding the topic. As part of the g/t writing community, I know how handy it can be to have resources for niche topics, so hopefully this can help or inspire someone! I'm going to talk about knitting in existing g/t media, some of the possibilities I can think of as far as knitting for giants and tinies go, and some examples of what gives me real life g/t vibes in knitting.

Knitting, for clarity, is the art of turning yarn into fabric using a pair of needles. It seems like one of those crafts that people have plenty of ideas about with tinies, but doesn't so readily come up with giants. Maybe we'll fix that here, we'll see!

In Media

I've noticed this has mostly been explored from the tiny side of things, at least in established media. Now's the part where I admit that I do not have a comprehensive understanding and grasp of g/t media, so if there are further examples of this that exist, I'd love to hear about them! For now, the most immediate examples I can think of is The Borrowers, both in the book and one of the film adaptations.

The first is featured in one of the original covers of the original book, a colorized version of an illustration that shows Homily knitting on a pair of pins.

The text describes her as "knitt(ing) their jerseys and stockings on black headed pins, and, sometimes, on darning needles (...)" and goes on to describe her using spools of silk or cotton thread to do so. This is doable, especially since both thread and pins can vary in thicknesses, which can affect the way the fabric created behaves. One would simply need to find or make pins that were more dull, because those things can get Sharp!

Darning needles, which are slightly bigger than what you'd think of as sewing needles but still pretty thin, are a little thicker and I would think would be used with something a bit more substantial than thread. I'll get into this more in depth when I get around to talking about spinning, but yarn can be spun pretty finely, and tinies could easily be resourceful enough to manage to get it to a usable size, no matter the needles used.

As an aside, the BBC's 1992 iteration of The Borrowers quietly goes into more detail about this side of their existence. It ran for two seasons, covering most of the books up til "The Borrowers Aloft", I believe. The whole thing can bee found on YouTube, and someone recently posted an HD remaster!

Homily's knitting crops up throughout the first arc as not only a tool for keeping her family warm, but as a way for her to cope with her anxiety. She quickly picks up her knitting (from a small ball of wool she seems to have wound herself rather than from a spool, which is much more mobile) after an argument with Arrietty, and while she waits for Pod to come home from late-night borrowing.

Then, after they flee the cottage, they collect wild wool (seen above) from the brambles to use as insulation, and I believe the implication is that it's later spun into yarn for Homily to use to make Arrietty a sweater/jumper and herself a cardigan, shown in this short clip:

Seriously, if you haven't seen this adaptation, I highly recommend! Lookit Homily getting to be a bit of a badass for once!

The Potential

Knitting like this is plausible in g/t spheres, in my opinion. A lot of modern knitting has grown to lean away from separate straight needles like the pins would facsimile, choosing circular needles instead. Basically it's a few inches of solid needle attached to a flexible cord that more easily allows a knitter to work in a continuous tube (like hats), but they can be used to make flat things (like scarves) as well.

Even if an article is made of tubes- hats, sweaters, and even socks- they can still be made flat and seamed together. So if all a tiny has access to are a pair of pins, or if all a giant can do is carve and polish some wood into straight needles, it's a perfectly valid way to go about things. I'm not going to put a limit on the innovations of big or small folk to be able to come up with workarounds if they truly wanted to make a circular needle equivalent, though. Maybe a tiny could use a sturdy yet flexible bit of wire with the tips worn down to a taper, or a giant could MacGyver something with literal cabling, who knows? I'm all for hearing other ideas!

Real Life G/t Vibes

Most Vibes I get from knitting are from things made with really thick or thin yarn. Big, chunky yarn reminds me of how even the thinnest of yarn would probably still be quite lofty to a tiny. To me, it gives the feeling of having found doll's clothing and using it to keep warm!

The Harper Jacket by Ciadree via Ravelry.com

And I know it's not really useful to a hypothetical giant, but knitting tiny things does give one the feeling of being big. I'm often reminded of Althea Crome, the self-proclaimed micro-knitter who made the knits in the movie Coraline and has a whole gallery of miniature knitted art!

Mixing different weight (sizes) and colors of yarn also gives me very homemade, using what you have on hand even if it doesn't match kinda vibes, which I find fitting for both giants and tinies. They (most likely) don't have textile shops where they can get all matching bits. Or maybe they do, and that's valid, too! I'll get into more detail about that when I talk about scraps and stash eventually, but I think this post has gotten quite long enough.

If you have any more ideas or questions about this topic, and especially if you have more examples in existing g/t media that I don't know of or forgot about when writing this, please do keep the conversation going!

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery, @cassieuncaged

warnings: swearing, mention of blood and menstruation

I sat in the chair Jenkins had brought into the annex, knees tucked up to my chest as I looked over the information Cassandra had brought in. The clippings book lay open on her most recent mission. It had been quiet since she got back. Everyone finally had a moment to relax. The pain in my gut made me lean my head against my knees. A soft hand on my back made me breathe out shakily.

“I’m ok.” I said, lifting my head to meet jenkins’ eye. “I’m ok.” He nodded as Flynn came bounding into the room.

“Hello.” He said, smiling at Jenkins and kissing me on the cheek. I gave him a shaky smile as Jenkins withdrew to his section of the table.

“hi.” I whispered as Flynn perched on the arm of the chair. “What’s got you back so soon? Thought you were still looking for the library.” He shrugged as he tried to get me to lean into him. Instead, I winced and got up quickly. Realizing my mistake, I wrapped my arms around myself and hurried off to the bathroom. I could just hear Flynn ask Jenkins what was wrong with me.

“they’ve been in so much pain they’re nauseous.” I heard Jenkins say. I made it to the bathroom and pulled the trash can closer just in case. I inspected my jeans as I sat on the toilet, willing everything to stop. I frowned when I saw a patch of red on my underwear and slowly shuffled my way out of the soiled garments. Opening the door under the sink, I smiled to myself to see the replacement pairs the annex knew I needed.

“thanks.” I whispered to the empty room. After the pain and nausea had passed, I left the bathroom and made my way back. “Sorry.” I muttered as I took up my previous position. Flynn wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed my head. Jenkins smiled softly at me and left the room.

“I’m going to say it aloud. Since we both know it.” Flynn started. “I don’t have much experience with this. My relationships never really turned this serious or lasted long enough that I…” he cleared his throat awkwardly. I rubbed his hand where it rested on my collarbone. “Jenkins filled me in. Why are you still working here if you are in that much pain? Go home. I would have come to you.”

“everyone else needed me.” I responded. “Jake is checking into something on his own. Ezekiel needs someone to stop him from stealing every priceless artifact. Cassandra…” I trailed off. “Jenkins always needs help cataloging and researching. Eve went off looking for you. And you…” Flynn kissed my head. “Someone had to be here to keep the light burning.”

“we’re going home.” He said softly. “Come on. Jenkins already fixed the door.” I took his hand and stood up slowly. “You’re going to have to help me through your routine and making sure that you feel ok. But I’m willing to do whatever it takes to help.” I nodded as Flynn set the dial and our apartment appeared on the other side of the door.

“thank you.” I muttered as Flynn and I walked through, being forced to bed as soon as we closed the door. Flynn kissed me softly again before running off to get whatever it was Jenkins had told him would help.

[aevyk-ing]

2023 review stuff

Here we go again. Gotta keep up with the tradition because it's always interesting to go back and reflect on a whole year. While things have improved ever so slightly, my life isn't good yet. But hey, I'm doing my best to keep on fighting until I get there.

2020, 2021, 2022

Health (mixed)

I started out this year with a surprise: I'm autistic! And while it's not a bad nor good surprise, it has changed completely the way I treat myself. I used to feel useless and an idiot but now there's an explanation for most of my quirks and I can use my newly discovered "superpowers" to make me feel better. But hey, it's still a secret. I'd like to get a formal diagnosis (I mean on paper) before talking to my parents and family.

That being said, I've used this new knowledge to fight the many bumps I've encountered this year. There's still a long way to go, but I feel like I know myself way better now.

2. Writing (freaking good)

I started the year finishing a book, then I wrote another one, translated three, wrote four short stories, a full comic strip and lots of stuff more. I've created a whole new continent for Gingaria and new places for the next books. I had a great presentation for my book Kylkos and lots of people have praised Legends of Gingaria, which makes me so happy! It all gives me the strength to go on the days I feel bad. And I can't wait to show you what's in store! Also, shout-out to all my AO3 readers.

3. Art (quite good)

I'm getting the hang of Clip Studio Paint and I think you can see the leveling up. I'm trying to improve with more character, creatures and places designs. I've drawn more comics and some illustrations I'm really proud of. While I sometimes have bad days when nothing seems to work, I can just go back when I feel better.

4. Cosplay (eh...)

Believe it of not, I've managed to keep on sewing some new stuff. I can't share it for now, but hopefully next year. I've done some clean-up and while I'll use most of my time to fix stuff next year (once I can get it out of the boxes), I'm planning to do more photoshoots.

Now I'm going to talk about the stuff that has helped me go through this year. But first...

I'm sure nobody cares, but this year has been worse because we've had some problems regarding the documents so they can demolish our house and pay us. The thing is some... baddies have been meddling with the process and we were in the middle, so that's why our case is getting longer to resolve. Hopefully, now that we've got the papers we need, things will start going on more smoothly.

Movies & series

I've watched a lot of stuff this year. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-verse was so good, I loved Suzume and The Boy and the Heron and, about series, Over the Garden Wall and The Blue Eyed Samurai.

2. Gingaria

While writing is not always easy, I've had so much fun making this world even bigger. And I made a doll maker! There's a lot to come and I hope it keeps on growing.

3. Webtoons & reading

I still struggle with reading but my mind is calmer this year. I've read some books from a public place where you put one and get one (left one of my Zem copies just because). I'm currently following some Webtoons and my favorites are The Blind Prince and Your Smile is a Trap.

4. Side projects

I was commissioned to make 35 fabric cubes and a replica of Gladys from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Also made some props for cosplay and fixed other stuff.

5. Therapy

I'm so lucky to have found someone who gets me and understands what I'm going through. Sometimes is hard because she makes me rethink everything but I've improved so much this year thanks to her.

Someone asked me recently about my New Year's resolutions and turns out I don't want to have any, I'm going to rely on my projects. I've had an interesting idea recently and I'm going to search for someone to make it come true, I have more stories to tell (currently writing yet another book) and more surprises along the way.

Thank you so much for being there. I hope you all have a happy New Year. Keep on shining!