#but no one around me gives a fuck about butches lmao

[handsomegentlebutch]

Extremely excited for 2024 bc I'll be visiting some friends in the UK over the summer :3

[astaraels]

You don’t get how bad I need your fem!gallavich headcanons 😭😭 (that being said pls - with no pressure - share some 🙏🙏🙏)

OKAY DON'T WORRY I'VE GOT A LOT OF THEM TO SHARE WITH YOU I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR SOME GOOD WLW FEM!GALLAVICH FEELS (these may be a little all over the place but just roll with me here okay? okay here we go)

to start with, Ian is a nickname for Lillian, Mickey is a nickname for Mykhaila (Ukrainian feminine form of Mikhailo)—they'd still go by Ian and Mickey, because if Lip can be a nickname for Phillip then all bets are fucking off :p

technically all of this started with my brain going "lesbian gallavich with hella self image issues" because they don't feel like they can measure up to their "prettier" sister (Mandy and Fiona) but both of them thinking the other is gorgeous as hell. Mickey being kind of a femme/butch (which is why she's the one who calls the shots with her brothers, she's the tomboy compared to Mandy), and Ian wanting to be all pretty and femme but doesn't think there's a point to it because money and also she doesn't think highly of herself

things would be way different for them both as lesbians—Ian would definitely still be the forgotten middle child, although she and Lip would still be Fiona's backup ("you two are my rocks") because I refuse to believe that girl Ian wouldn't be just as committed to ROTC and fitness as canon Ian. She'd be able to kick anyone's ass any day of the week. I think she'd really look up to Lip and ofc he'd love Ian as his little sister but like, with the same kind of condescending vibe he gives Fiona and Debbie? Although maybe since they're practically twins his misogyny toward Ian wouldn't be as blatant.

she'd still be taller than him (tallest Gallagher no matter what!) and have long red hair that she just throws back in a bun or ponytail all military style. I can't see her having short hair just because short cuts can be a lot to maintain, better just to let it grow and keep it pulled back. (I know, I've thought way too much about the little stuff lol)

Mickey would be very punk. With an undercut and all kinds of piercings. Mandy gets more attention from boys but Mickey does get her share, although of course she's like blegh. She'd rather be kicking ass and taking names and proving to her dad that she's just as good at being a fuckin Milkovich as Iggy and Colin—she's got more brains than both of them combined and she's smart as a whip when it comes to doing math, as well as where scamming people is concerned. Terry would begrudgingly acknowledge this but never misses a chance to put her down because she's just another dumb bitch. Only serves to make Mickey more determined to show what she can do, though, and her brothers and cousins are no match for her when it comes to scrappy back alley fighting. She climbed to the top of the heap early on and punches out anyone who tries to take her on.

Ian absolutely falls in the lesbian stereotype of wearing flannel constantly. I feel like she would want to do girly sorts of things but like, doesn't feel she'd measure up to Fiona or other girls so she just sticks with "comfortable" as her main fashion staple. Her and Debbie probably share a room too, although as I said above, she's still super close with Lip. Debbie would ADORE her big sister, would look up to and admire Ian because they've got so much in common—it might even be that she finds Ian's lesbian porn and that's how she knows about it ("penetration isn't required for sex to occur").

I'm not sure how they'd meet in this au but it would still probably involve Mickey chasing Ian around trying to beat her up lmao. my original thought was maybe like, either Mickey chased after Ian because of something Lip did in a reverse of canon, or Mandy thought Ian was talking shit about her. Regardless, the idea of 5'1" Mickey chasing after 5'9" Ian is hilarious especially because I feel like Ian would end up being almost six foot tall by the time she's done with puberty.

even once Ian and Mandy end up being bffs (there'd definitely be some miscommunication, but Ian doesn't wanna get murdered by the Milkovich siblings, so she manages to clear the air with Mandy when she can get away from Mickey and their brothers), Ian probably wouldn't tell Mandy she's gay, gotta keep that shit on lock. So once they're besties she's gotta endure all the boy talk and be like oh haha yeah totally…but at some point Mandy would figure it out, probably because she's not dumb and also Ian "play what cool" Gallagher is not as subtle as she thinks she is. But Mandy, other than asking if Ian has the hots for her ("you're beautiful, but I like you better as my friend"), is actually pretty chill and realizes she doesn't actually mind hanging out with a lesbo. Yes, Ian and Mandy and Mickey would use all the derogatory slurs that get used towards lesbians, although Ian is used to the casual homophobia and Mickey is the most homophobic gay ever (I feel like she'd definitely call herself a fag and a dyke once she gets more comfortable in her identity).

idk how the whole grooming thing with Kash and Ned would transfer over—maybe Ned would be some rich lesbian cougar who wants a kept girl or something. But that's unfortunately a big part of Ian's character, the middle kid who's the only one to be physically abused (and yeah, Frank would still hit Ian, boy or girl), and is desperate for any kind of affection so attaches to anyone who gives it. Kash might be a (seemingly) meek wife to some bruiser of a husband who's short and has small dog syndrome, and that makes her sympathetic in Ian's eyes, thus making it easier for her to take advantage of Ian. I try not to think about Kash too much but it is an important part of Ian's self-image

I'm gonna talk about s3 in its own post because I have some Thoughts and Ideas for some changes to make things interesting :p

season 4 would be really even more depressing because I think that when Ian is manic (there'd be no running away to the army because she couldn't use Lip's identity; instead she'd go straight her sugar mama and from there calls Monica when things get too wild) she'd end up getting pimped out by Monica to really gross straight dudes—not that there aren't creeper lesbians who like younger women, but in general it'd be easier for her to find a job stripping at a regular club (lesbian bars don't seem to have the same opportunities as a straight bar or a men's gay bar do wrt making money). Poor Lip and Debbie finding her in the skimpiest outfit, worse than anything Fiona ever had to wear for a job, with way too much makeup on and dollar bills tucked in her underwear, coked out as hell, skinny enough you can see her hipbones, brain and mouth going about 300 miles a minute...ugh.

But Mickey coming and bringing her home safe and sound <3 beating up the skeevy guys trying to roofie her <33 watching over Ian while she sleeps <333

In a happier train of thought, I love the idea that Mickey really likes Ian's long hair and plays with it when she's not really thinking and Ian gets all 😍😍😍 because it means Mickey might like her omg. Mickey has a partial undercut and Ian loves the texture of the shaved part of her hair. Tells her not to let it grow back out and everything.

Mickey having to stand on her tiptoes to kiss her stupidly tall gf ("You're too tall, Red" "Complain all you want, Mick, you know you like it”). Mickey likes getting manhandled but only by Ian—anyone else tries it and they're losing a hand. But Ian shoves her against a wall and does her whole cocky, smug, looming thing and Mickey can't help but melt in her arms (not that she'd let Ian know about it, not at first; gotta make Gallagher work for that shit. Just cause she's a fag doesn't mean that she's anyone's bitch!).

I also like to think that Ian would try the super femme thing in s4 era and Mickey, once out, would be a little more comfortable being more butch, but they both come off as a mix? I just love the idea of fem!gallavich playing with gender stuff in that very specific lesbian relationship with gender—on one of Mickey's more butch days Ian jokes and calling Mickey her boyfriend and Mickey being like oh

personally I feel like Mickey in her dyke era (s5) is an absolute pint-sized powerhouse, and still an absolute fashion icon because those cut-off vests? the tank tops? perfection🤌🏻

most of my thoughts are of early gallavich because I think things would go much differently since Sammi can't call the MPs on Ian in this au, but lemme just say that there's some fun stuff I'll be adding in another ask to add to the DRAMA

[crimeronan]

Would love so so much for you to elaborate on the happiest looks for the oc quartet and what took you by surprise about them and what you think each of them conveys/implies. Sol I'm seeing longer hair and more comfortable less exposing clothing, etc, but can you talk a little about what each of their happiest option looks means and how it took you by surprise and how it contrasts with the reality and why it would be them at their best? thank you!! if you do

oh this is so sweet 🥺 thank u for permission to infodump about my guys.....

reference images here!

i often joke that devin and i have the same gender feelings in opposite directions, which basically boil down to, "i know i'd be a lot happier with my body on prescription hormones, but i am Way too sick right now to give a fuck."

so like. a happier devin is one who's been on E for years and grown her hair out for just as long. i was taken by surprise by Just How Femme she was (...similar to me having some weird masc revelations doing the same exercise for my idealized self).

also was mildly surprised that her clothing remained exactly the same as in the main verse. i played around with all the other clothing options, but a black tank top + ratty pants + bare feet are all Quintessential Devin Items.

the very visible scarring is bc she's never cared if people see that her body is fucked up & i want that to be true in the happy timeline too.

ruby's surprised me in that i didn't have to change much at all to get her Idealized External Self. she's already pretty true to what brings her joy. in professional environments, her clothes are much more muted, but everything she's wearing could come out of her non-work wardrobe.

her hair is worn fluffy instead of in box braids because she would Love to dye her natural hair like this. however she does Not love the need to carve out time and motivation to maintain it every damn day for the rest of fucking eternity, so. box braids it is!

also important is that ruby isn't wearing anything practical. those sandals aren't safe for difficult hikes/on-your-feet labor. that skirt is a massive mound of fabric. that jewelry gets in the way, that shirt has no armoring or support, she hasn't prioritized pockets or a practical bag or hidden defense weapons or anything. this ruby is free of basically all of the responsibility and weight dragging her main timeline self down

sol's long hair surprised me -- she had long hair when she was much younger & she has not wanted to grow it out again for trauma reasons. but she likes it better long. so a long-haired sol is one who's overcome at least some of her trauma. her hair has been silver since birth but the white streaks signify that she's aging gracefully & older than she ever expected to become

as for her clothes, it's comfy athletic wear that she's wearing for the sake of mobility and comfort. (with the red-and-black shoes to sneak in a little of her murder aesthetic.) in the main timeline, she'd SAY that she dresses for herself, but the amount of sharp & tailored & restrictive clothing she wears is.... Definitely for other people. or at least, it's for preserving her own image toward other people.

and then transmasc butch nova. LMAO. GOD.

main timeline nova puts an insane amount of effort into "i'm a pretty barbie girl <333" and has sunk So Much of her self-worth into being blonde and blue-eyed and glowing and gorgeous. she also has watercolor sleeve tattoos, but when i did her full-body picrew tats, black ink felt..... more correct. like. what would your tats look like if you weren't a Rainbow Goddess of Light

and then the rest of it is also very. what would you be if you weren't a Rainbow Goddess of Light. if you take away all the Rainbow Goddess of Light features, nova is.... desperately unhappy. and desperately compensating for something. and i think having top surgery and working as a butch car mechanic somewhere would fix her.

as for the pink shoes and hot topic jewelry, that's just bc i think nova would find it fun to do gnc nonsense. nova-without-divinity isn't A Man or fully married to doing Man Things... i feel like it would be wrong for her to just go as gung-ho for performative masculinity as her main timeline self does for performative femininity. nova-without-divinity is wearing whatever she wants and looking however she wants and being hilarious and delightful while she does it <3 god bless.

[thalassic-p4rk]

okay okay so some explanation:

kwazii: self explanatory really. it’s kwazii.

shellington: totally hc him as aroace and so oblivious and i love him sm for it

paani: might accidentally flirt or attempt occasionally, but most of the time is so completely oblivious. he’s got sm autistic rizz.

inkling: okay don’t come for me he has a really really nice voice okay?? i’m working through it still 😭😭

peso: okay unpopular opinion probably bc of this one wild 120k fic i read in one go but i totally think peso isn’t as naive and innocent as everyone thinks he is and he totally uses that to his advantage. like, not even with flirting, but in general like with cursing and stuff. but i feel like he’s not as oblivious as he pretends to be, and when he chooses to flirt holy shit this guy can flirt. 10/10 best twink 4ever <3

barnacles: i have. many thoughts about barnacles. but, all i will say is that he is so completely oblivious to how hot everyone thinks he is and he has sm unintentional rizz. he will accidentally flirt with like random people he helps or comes across and he has no idea why they keep swooning and calls peso over cuz he’s concerned and peso just is like *sigh*. also, i know fictives aren’t their sources but our barnacles is pretty damn close and when he first split me and peso spent weeks simping over him before another headmate forced us to sit down and explain this to him (which was one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life btw, fuck u eddie /lh)

dashi: i am a hardcore tweak/dashi shipper all the way, and while i think dashi is a very professional person (dog?), i think she’s also really good with people and knows how to use her skills to get what she wants. i think she totally worked in like customer service or something pre-octonauts and that she would charm her clients and customers almost instinctively. however, flirting for her, while common, is something she doesn’t really view as flirting flirting? like, it’s just something she does to steer the conversation in a more favorable direction. she very rarely actually means it, or genuinely tries to flirt, so that’s why she’s not where kwazii is. she was struggling with tweak though lol.

tweak: i think tweak is similar to dashi, she’s not naive and she certainly is good at flirting and probably did a lot of flirting and uh sleeping around in the past (who doesn’t love a butch lesbian mechanic), but i also think that she just. doesn’t really care. fhjffjjgdg like she likes having fun and stuff but generally outside of her video games and her inventions she does not give a shit about much lmao. not in like, a bad way or anything. she just never really saw the point of a social life yk? and the octonauts are an exception, that’s family it’s different. but she’s always had more important shit to do than playing social games.

anyways thank you for coming to my ted talk i am very eepy.

[butchybats]

god my fav things about like genderswap AUs is asking like, how does this change the way the characters navigate the world or how other characters treat them, right? so like. I JUST IMAGINE LESBIAN DANIEL AS BEING EVEN MORE PRICKLY. So sick of being treated like a girl all the time, so hyper-aware of all deficits in her experience based on how sexism has treated her, MAYBE POSSIBLY MORE WARY OF CREEPS, EVEN CREEPS WHO ARE WOMEN LIKE ARMAND. Is she as unsafe, as blithely monsterfuckig??? Does he have an ounce of self preservation and survival instinct? Is it harder for fem!Armand to find her when she flees around the world?!? ALSO LIKE. I always wonder how many other characters get swapped in these situations like is Louis also a woman? Did Daniel go interview some fucking man in a seedy room all by herself???????? Where's her safety rules at I gotta know. AND ARMAND. Armand. God. I feel like the cult grinds people's personalities down so much like almost as if every COD vampire was this genderless wraith. Does that change for her? Even as a boy Armand had such a fuckd up life like HOW MUCH WORSE COULD IT REALLY GET FOR HER LOL. And like is CLAUDIA still a girl like where's the jealousy at between them? thereS JUST SO MUCH TO DISCUSS

I am so glad there’s people actually wondering about the intricacies of this because for me it’s just like woah it would be so hot if they were women hghgh but i love thinking about this so much!!!!

LESBIAN DANIEL WOULD BE SO PRICKLY!!! She is so tired of the world’s shit and I can not blame her one bit. “So sick of being treated like a girl all the time” YES!!!!!! Her gender is dyke and she’s butch <3 (this is totally not me projecting) i feel like she’d experience a lot of sexism that really ties into homophobia so she’s had to learn fend for herself and not take anyone’s shit.

Lesbian Daniel is still the ultimate monster fucker I think <33 she wants these vampires so badly it makes her look stupid! I do think she’d be more wary of Armand in the beginning though like I can not imagine her taking public transportation in the dead of night 😭 no leaping out of a taxi into traffic for lesbian Daniel lmao and I also think she’d be great at not giving strangers the time of day so it might take her a bit longer to warm up to her (but at the same time are they really strangers after hearing about her from Louis and then being locked in a cellar by her? 🤔 HGHG like they are literally uhaul lesbians)

AND I AM ALWAYS GOING BACK AND FORTH ON WHOS ALL GENDERSWAPPED!!!! Because sure ideally i love thinking about them all being women but narratively that doesn’t work out!!! Akasha’s plot line is redundant if there’s no men lol also would Gabrielle feel as estranged from everyone if there were no men?? And just like historically it doesn’t make sense </3 personally the people I would love to be genderswapped are daniel and armand (obviously lol) but also lestat and louis maybe nicki?? umm i think that quinn could be a woman too. As a treat <3 but everyone else I’m convinced could be the same I’d love to see how chaotic that story goes (also i need bianca my beloved to stay the same so that we can have venice lesbians <3)

AND ARMANDDD Armand… It would probably get so much worse for her 😭I feel like she would really really latch on to Allesandra like more than canon simply because they’re both women in the cult. Also because Armand is a woman I feel like she would need to try way harder to command everyone’s respect and fear she would have to be VICIOUS (said while twirling my hair and giggling) and while gender stuff is probably the least of her concerns when all of this is going down I think it would still fuck with her over time, especially considering canon Armand’s intricacies with gender. Would she feel like she has to perform feminity to be taken seriously? Or does she play into her androgyny (not that she has much of a choice)? But I can totally see her and Daniel having one of their big talks about gender and how they relate to it

THERE IS SO SERIOUSLY SO MUCH TO DISCUSS ABOUT THIS AND TY FOR TALKING TO ME ABOUT IT! <3 my asks and dms are always open to anyone who wants to talk about gay vampires I feel like I could go on forever about them

[ari-shipping-stuff]

TWGOK x Percy Jackson where Keima Katsuragi and the girls were demigods? How would their intertraction with their parents going to be like? Basically the Jupiter Sisters' hosts are going to be the children of the Greek Gods (except for Artemis, of course). Kanon = Apollo's daughter, Yui = Mars' daughter, Ayumi = Hermes' daughter, Tenri = Nike's daughter (but she's also a Hunter of Artemis), Shiori = Athena's daughter (that would make her Annabeth's half-sister), and Tsukiyo = Hephaestus' daughter but her mother is the daughter of Selene (IDK about the others maybe Chihiro as an Aphrodite child?). Keima himself is the son of Zeus. Elsie, Haqua and the other demons were descendants of the Titans. (Sorry for this long post)

no need to apologize at all!! i adore demigod aus it is one of my favorite things to do with my media <333 AND kaminomi??? girl(gn) that's my Favorite Manga Of All Time?????? sign me up???

i put this under the cut because. yes this did get long hfsfjjgsdgj

i assume in this au there aren't any of the "goddesses" themselves? 🤔 or perhaps they Are there, but more like priestesses than the actual gods. i am curious as to how they'd get their names though,,

okay! first, main three: keima, elsie, chihiro

at first glance, i thought of keima being a mist-seeing mortal with comical levels of luck and plot armor (how is this bitch alive lmao) but keima as a son of zeus is so fucking funny to me

pov you're a regular camper and a big 3 kid came to camp! holy shit! amazing! aaand then you meet him. and. yeah

he's perfectly mastered all his abilities, he just. uses them for dating sims 😭 on one hand, bro. are you kidding me. on the other hand, due to his attitude with dating sims, he's surprisingly so similar to his father it's hilarious. let's keep this idea HDSHKGDH

(side note: of course zeus banged keima's mom. have you SEEN her-)

elsie i'd immediately say is a descendant/child of gaea 🤔 mostly because of her role in the later arcs, but also! her natural (arguable: motherly) caregiving personality, her general appreciation for the world around her, and. i just think that elsie being the most powerful thing in the universe is awesome <3

chihiro as an aphrodite kid is so personal to me actually 🥺 as a person who used to go around bragging about being an aphrodite kid. and on account of her being my favorite ever hfsgjgddfjj i can see it actually! either aphrodite or eros. i can also see a possibility of her being unclaimed, and that adds to her drive of trying to prove that she can actually do something and commit to it, but those things don't have to be mutually exclusive 🤔

goddess hosts! :DD

tenri: i am much more loose with my characterizations of the gods, and i don't stick much to canon, so i can see tenri working out just fine as artemis/diana's daughter. like how athena's children aren't born, but created. nike is an interesting idea though, and i'm curious about your thought process on that one! maybe diana's physical prowess? 🤔 another one i'd consider for tenri is hecate or another magic goddess due to her little magic trick hobby. maybe even hermes just the for sleight of hand

kanon: definitely apollo, for the music and the fact that the goddess apollo had powers related to healing, if i remember correctly

yui: yui as an ares kid is hilarious to me. why is the shoujo prince butch in the cabin with the roughhousers jgsfjkgddgj 😭 okay but listen. hear me out okay: yui as a child of aphrodite inheriting the qualities of aphrodite areia (her warlike epithet). she, in that epithet, is the goddess of beauty and war, making yui the perfect shoujo prince /hj hfsfjkhdsfg

shiori: athena kid shiori is enticing, but it feels almost too easy of a placement to me,, i'd personally put her as a child/legacy of mnemosyne, the titan of memory. i'd want to give her a god of knowledge rather than wisdom, because although she is quite booksmart, she doesn't always seem to think everything through due to the sheer amount of her thoughts 😭 not to mention, memory fits pretty well with how she memorized every book in the school library hdsgjkhddgj

tsukiyo: i cannot see her being anyone's kid but selene's. selene is purely about the moon, which gives a lot of flexibility on how the moon relates to tsukiyo in particular

ayumi: hermes also feels so easy but. i can't think of anyone else who runs lmao 😭 okay maybe athena, due to the athletic nature and fighting spirit. or maybe nike, goddess of victory

other characters 🤔

for haqua i want to do thanatos for vibes. like the scythe and the focus on her ties to hell

nora, i think it'd be funny if she was daughter of thalia, the muse of comedy hfdgkgddfh mostly for her unpredictable personality. but this is subject to change because i don't know her very well

i can see lune as a child of eris, goddess of discord. maybe kaori too? 🤔 in kaori's case i think a muse might be fitting as well because of her motif about acting and the whole play part of the arc

akari, i'd like to think is a child of athena? she just gives me the vibes

okay rapidfire for the other heroines: (feel free to argue with me on these i didn't put much thought into these ones)

mio: hera

kusunoki: ares/one of the hysmanai

jun: nike

minami: pallas/electra (it reminded me of her hair, mostly)

sumire: hestia?

nanaka: athena/ioke

hinoki: i think she'd have to be the same as kusunoki 🤔

urara: hebe

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

Hi!! I saw your post about Gideon and Harrow and just wanted to ask if you could talk a little more about them. I really like the series and also I really like to read your posts about pieces of media you've engaged with so I would really appreciate that

Also can you talk about why you didn't like the series?(you don't have to be nice)

And even thought you didn't read the other books, did you look into spoilers? You can talk about that too if you wanna

Thanks :)

Well for starters, even though I didn't like The Locked Tomb series, I do enjoy Gideon and Harrow as a ship. I'm a HUGE fan of the whole like. Asshole x goofy thing. and the fact that Gideon is described as tall and buff, whereas Harrow is just like. A short stick. Is so enjoyable to me! Love a ship where one can easily throw the other around. And I like that their dynamic is that Gideon is the one person who doesn't treat Harrow like she's some important princess like everyone else on their planet. I love that they grew up isolated and only had each other. Gideon was the only person in Harrow's age range. The fact that they have known each other since they were very little kids is appealing to me.

Despite everything I have to say about this series, I do really like them and enjoy content with them and hope that they are end game! Honestly, if they are end game, I think I might actually try reading the series again. This ship has actually gained the type of status where I don't like seeing them shipped with other people (tho, I won't lie, I liked Gideon x Dulcinea when I first read. Don't get me started on how lovely Harrow's jealousy was! "I gave it to you precious septimus!" lives rent free in my head. I ADORE jealousy!). I don't like the hero x Ianthe ship because I'm like "she belongs with Gideon!!!" but that's neither here nor there.

As for why I didn't like the series: I got to be real, I think I'm just not a fan of sci-fi! When I picked up the book some years ago, I didn't really know that, but this past year I've realized that the Sci-Fi genre just may not be for me in general! I tried to watch scavengers reign and I got an episode and a half in before deciding that it was not for me.

I'm definitely more a fan of fantasy and, recently, the mystery and Thriller genre.

I think my main issue with the series is that I was expecting more lesbianism. The story was very plot heavy and not as romantic as I was hoping for when I decided to pick it up. The whole reason I bought it was because I was interested in the fact that there were lesbians in it. However, the whole lesbian aspect is not as big a part of the book as I personally would have liked.

This could have been forgiven if I found the plot more engaging, but I did not! Honestly I gotta be real, I do not give a single shit about the plot at all. Harrow could reach her goals and I would not care. Honestly? I feel like I don't really care about these characters outside of the shipping. Well, maybe I care about Gideon a bit since she's my butch queen, but I really only like Harrow relative to her relationship with Gideon.

The plot was not to my taste at all. In fact, I found the first book to be incredibly confusing. It took me three tries to get through it because I just kept getting lost lmao. I only managed to get through it via audiobook, and even now I'm still lost on what the fuck happened. I pushed through because I really wanted context for the famous pool scene.

The kicker is that apparently the first book isn't even supposed to be confusing! And the fact that second book is intentionally confusing not endear me to finishing the rest of the series at all.

Yes, I have looked at spoilers for the other books. Despite what I said earlier, I do think that Harrow x Ianthe ship is interesting. I don't ship them, but Ianthe being crazy and a little obsessed with Harrow is intriguing to me. I love lesbian toxicity that is one-sided. I feel like Ianthe is unhinged for Harrow but Harrow does not feel the same way at all, and even though that's a bit heartbreaking, I also think that that creates an interesting and fun dynamic. And, again, I don't really care about the ship too much, so it's not as heartbreaking as it would have been otherwise if, say, this was Gideon in Ianthe's place.

Also, I love Nona's character from what I've heard so far. I love her naïve golden retriever thing without necessarily being fully childlike? Usually characters who are very positive get painted with a children's brush and don't get to say stuff like "I think they wanted to have sex with me." so that's appealing.

But, yea, this series just wasn't my jam at all.

[beevean]

What bothers me about how forceful/unbased some neurodivergency/LGBT+ headcanons are is how they give off the vibe only neurodivergent or queer characters are allowed to have anything going for them. Not even anything special! Let's take TMOSTH: Tails feels empathy for many things? Autistic! Espio speedread a book to spoil the ending for Knuckles? Autistic! Or what you pointed out in Archie, with Shadow stating he likes his motorcycle? Autistic! As someone who only recently found out they might not be entirely neurotypical, I recall quite disliking and feeling somewhat hurt that every single thing a character did immediately gets spun around to fit the OP's projecting, with the attached "fuck the straights and the neurotypicals only gay people would ever do this" that tends to come along with it (where the thing "only gay people do" 99% of the time is the most basic thing in the world). It's almost like people don't want to consider that the most normal, down-to-earth, "boring" (used in the way such OPs tend to use it: as an easy jab) neurotypical cishet person can feel empathy for many things, speedread, or like a motorcycle. I feel like there is more behind that due to the state of the world at large, but it's annoying to see have to come across it in fandom all the time, and then have the "proof" be complete nonsense or entirely taken out of context to "support" the statement. Not to mention the "joking" accusations of bigotry if you do not share such headcanons that occasionally get added as well.

Another example I thought of the moment I hit the "ask" button: Surge getting revealed as Sonic's "clone" and the ENTIRETY OF TUMBLR immediately deciding this meant Sonic was trans. The fact they aren't even the same species nor look alike in the slightest and the fact I thus promptly got very worried about the biology knowledge of the entirety of Tumblr aside, thank god that shit died down when it got revealed Surge legit was just some rando Starline plucked from the streets with no relation to Sonic.

You hit the nail on the head.

When autistic headcanons are created from the basis of "X has a passion for Y!", I'm here like... do you think autistic people are the only ones who can feel any sort of love or attachment over something? Do you think neurotypical people can only blandly tolerate things? Isn't hyperfixation something much, much more intense than a passion? Isn't autism much more than "being shy and with something they love", and isn't ADHD much more than being excitable? This shit makes legit harder for people to realize if they're neurodivergent or not because I swear that literal human nature is deemed to be "divergent". If "neurotypicalness" is associated with being an emotionless, insensitive asshole, no wonder no one would want to identify as, or call their favorite character, neurotypical!

Don't get me started on how for some people "straight" is a synonym for boring and "gay" is a synonim for fun and quirky. Shocker: love and fun are not limited to non-cishet people. It's not a "weird", exceptional state of humanity. Cishet people can have a personality too.

lmaooooo I remember that headcanon, good times. Speaking of which, while the headcanon "Sonic is trans because he doesn't have chest fur" is... something, I side-eye people who headcanon Surge as trans. Oh, you think that the nasty, aggressively masculine bully is trans? It doesn't look good in either direction :) (same for the people who headcanon her as a lesbian, despite her having 0 meaningful interactions with female characters, solely because she's "butch". I wouldn't want to do that, but I may be biased lmao)

[possibilistfanfiction]

hi i just wanted to say thank you for writing about queerness the way that you do - it’s incredible and has been immensely helpful to me lately. like i’ve agonized over wanting a haircut and a binder and to change my pronouns and have never had the courage to do anything about it, but reading your stuff is making me want to go through with it all. i had to pause a few times as i read your most recent piece (ava’s pov of butch bea) because i was overwhelmed with relief seeing ava and bea want that stuff too. i didn’t realize wanting it could feel so freeing. like i’ve never seen queer people written like that before, and never knew i needed to see it until now. it’s helped me feel okay about wanting the aforementioned things, and also okay about not knowing what i want or how i want to be. all around your fics are so healing and enlightening as far as gender and sexuality go, and gender and sexuality aside they are also flat out masterpieces. i cannot even begin to describe how much they, as well as your other posts on the subject, mean to me. thank you so much

:) thank u!

& i will say that i have spent the better part of the last 15 or so years just vibrating around trying to figure out what makes me feel good, especially in my body & how others perceive it. which is really hard! but trying stuff rocks — i figured out i wanted top surgery but not to transition in other medical ways bc i got a binder! the peace i felt with one felt right, & then i got to explore from there. i have had … so many haircuts lol & most of them have been good! (imo everyone deserves to buzz their hair at least once & just. deal with it lmao. a rite of passage.) now i don’t give a fuck about “what side of the store” clothes are on bc i know exactly what i want clothes to fit & feel like, & i have a tailor, so i just pay more attention to fit & fabric than i do any “men’s” or “women’s” demarcations, especially when most of the places i shop are mostly just vaguely androgynous earth tones anyway lol.

(of course this is with the caveat that there’s enough safety/financial stability but) try everything! especially stuff that’s not at all permanent!

there’s no way i would know what makes me happy & peaceful now if i didn’t try stuff in the past! do i want to wear button downs & chinos & have ppl call me sir?? no i would rather pErish. but did i always know that! of course not, & i got to have the space to try how that would feel. i definitely also know that i never want people to think i’m straight (lol but ppl are stubborn); i had a weird summer bc my hair was rly long, which i loved, but then started to feel just dissonant about… occasionally a little panicked by? (in addition to some transphobic nonsense thru work, which ofc doesn’t help). but once i sat down & was like what the fuck is going on — & felt safe enough to just sit for DAYS in dysphoria to try to figure out the root of it — i was like oh ok cool, easy, i can fix this. i knew i didn’t want to cut my hair rly short again (probably never again or at least for a Long Time, i don’t like ppl thinking i’m a man), but i didn’t wanna keep it long, so i was like ok great, stupid masc bob here we come, & my hairstylist is queer & has a soft butch wife, so i was set lol. but without getting to have space for the past decade to just try things, & to learn how to sit in dysphoria thru therapy rather than just Run Away from the feeling every time, that would’ve been a lot harder to navigate. i used to be VERY adamant abt they/them pronouns but i don’t feel that way anymore, & nothing earth shattering happened or has happened, i just… don’t care. i care more abt my privacy & agency than abt disclosing identity & experience than i do a pronoun, & so i get to make that choice whenever i want, which has been rly wonderful. & getting to try things will help you learn where ur most comfortable, especially as u continue to grow & change.

& like… it’s fun! queerness is so fun! i think beas queerness is fairly ~fraught~ canonically for obvious reasons but in any universe it’s nice to just let her take a fucking breath. kiss a girl, put on a hoodie, cut your hair, take a nap by the beach. it’s not so serious, not all the time. & ava is just FUN, her queerness is so so bright. to me it’s always just seemed like she was never Not queer bc ava has so much life to live & so so much to discover abt herself & the world. she’s falling in love with everything all the time, & with Wonder! & of course that includes queerness! it’s at the center of it bc it’s who you are & who you love, but it’s also just… people, & connection. i used to write rly angsty shit abt being queer & in moments of indulgence i do still enjoy a romp ofc to flex those wow sin & hell & an orgasm being so holy muscles lol, but queerness is my everyday life, & it shows up in the soft happy places more than anywhere else.

anyway, try everything!! especially a binder (bind safely!!!!!) & pronouns, even just online or w a few of ur ppl. if there’s a word you like for your identity, try writing it somewhere or just telling a friend (i texted my best friend that i liked the word ‘dyke’ a lot after having made ‘dyke on main’ jokes abt myself for ten years … we both just laughed). & of course haircuts & clothes are so fun, & they should get to be fun!

but even beyond that (& part of why i think ppl like reading stuff i write, maybe?) is that like so much healing for me in pleasure & peace in my queerness is so tied up in those same feelings abt … everything. food! sex! moving my body! my home! small acts of service! luxury! softness! skincare! the ocean! like whew, waking up & being like this brings me quiet joy, mary oliver was RIGHT, just lets the whole world kinda shimmer. not loudly, not in any remarkable way, but eating good food & having a good beer with someone who sees you for who you are; fresh flowers in the vase; LINEN PANTS; the dog asleep at your feet — all of those things to me are both queer & holy, inextricably together in my life. my wife’s queerness is very compatible w her religion & spirituality, & that’s rly rly beautiful to get to be around. queerness is abt deep care, too, in small ways: checking up on a friend after top surgery, still masking indoors, keeping my dog on lead unless i know her recall will be perfect. it shapes every part of my life. to me the mundane is the most glorious thing, & i have figured things that i love bc, for as scary as trying stuff can be (what if people see me? what if i hate it?) — you know, the most important question: what if you love it?

[aclosetfan]

I have an oc couple. Zach and Bella is their name and they give off greens energy. Anyway, when they're older, Zach likes to help Bella do her hair like, when he comes in from work. He helps her detangle and braid her hair, and she shows him the products she uses like coconut oil, conditioner, etc. Sometimes he does her hair while she plays the game, or they watch a sport or movie together until he's like "I need to shower and make dinner." So like, I like stuff like this, "tough guys 'pampering' their ladies " trope. I don't think Buttercup would actually trust Butch with her hair lmao, he might cut it too jagged or something. But he probably trusts her enough to cut or shave his head.

Anyways, i'm talking married/college graduate life, where they're probably casually sharing an apartment and developed a "more serious" relationship. I thought about this gesture of Butch clipping her toe nails after massaging her feet. He likes to take care of her and probably offers to help with very "intimate" deeds as an act of love.

Shoving in the blues to say, if anyone is doing their girls hair right, it's Boomer to Bubbles. He's got the parting and styling down.

But for greens I think Butch would enjoy massaging Buttercup's feet. I don't know. What intimate acts can you imagine the greens doing?🙂💚

Aw that’s very sweet! I love little intimate acts between couples. I won’t lie, it’s hard for me to imagine physically intimate acts because physical touch is the last of my love languages, which is so funny because I h/c that the greens are big on physical touch and have to force myself to write it. For me, I stick to the simple holding each other when they watch tv or fall asleep like they're constantly having to touch each other. Like walking down the street, their knuckles keep bumping, but because they're both "tough" (embarrassed) they can't hold each other's hands in public until later on when their relationship is more established. When they're more established, PDA is more acceptable to both of them. Nothing graphic, just holding hands, pecks on the cheek, or causally resting/wrapping arms around each other.

I think it'd be cute if they were also constantly trying to outmuscle each other, which results in multiple piggyback rides or bridal holds. Massages would definitely make sense. I also imagine a lot of bear hugs and slapping each other's asses when they feel like teasing.

I also think of them as the "quality time" couple. Hiking, going to concerts, and just maintaining a very active lifestyle. I had an outline I never got around to where the greens are engaged, but for whatever reason, Buttercup swears she's going to mess the relationship up because OBVIOUSLY there's friction since she's a good guy and he was once a bad guy, and why would he like her and everyone thinks they're going to break up and she can't let that happen and blah blah blah,

so she's always planning intense couple activities to like self-counsel the relationship, which she definitely only read one magazine article about, and as Bubbles watches her neurotically discuss the next 5k the greens will be running together to ensure a strong, healthy, active relationship, Butch is nodding along with a dopey smile because no one's ever given such a damn about him before.

So, yeah! Secret smiles, sly looks, encouraging words, and effort to make things good for both of them. Oh! and I'm also a huge fucking sucker for the two of them patching each other up after a fight, like good shit, 100% all day every day lets gooooooo yessir there's nothing more intimate than hurt/comfort. if that boy isn't hurt in some way and she ain't fixing him back up, then you know I didn't write it lmaooo

Also, it'd be funny if Bubbles actually hated Boomer doing her hair because they both know he’s better at it, and he’s 100% ready to shove it in her face. Like she throws her hair into a messy ponytail, and he’s like “oh, honey, no, please, what is going on here?” He’s HIM’s child, I make him no other way

[softlyapocalytpic]

👀 Working on something that I hope I can work naturally into the narrative and thought it might be fun to use it for a WIP Wednesday to give people a taste

@persephotea I tag YOU this time!!

Now, featuring the lovely Butch Deloria! I'm really undecided on how I want Butch to refer to the Overseer within his own internal monlogue. Does he say Alphonse as a sign of disrespect, or the Overseer to make him distant and make him a title/position rather than a person? In this it's mixed since I couldn't ever decide lmao. Same with members of Security.

Amy had the right idea shooting these security fuckers in the head. Course’ the Overseer didn’t see it that way- he didn’t want to admit how easy it was to take down his precious dogs- but it was pretty clear who’d done it.

“Well, Mr. Deloria? Are you really telling me you know nothing? We know how much time you two spent together.” The Overseer looked down at him with that same look of disdain he’d always had, nose stuck up high in the air, and expression set into constant disappointment. He was flanked by Chief Hannon, who hadn’t stopped glaring daggers into Butch (as if he was responsible for what happened to Paulie, fucker), and Officer O’Brian, whose finger looked a little too itchy for Butch’s liking

These guys were pricks even when the whole system was falling apart around them.

But it didn’t faze Butch anymore. Just fed the fury. Sure, sure, they could shoot him, but then whatever dumb facade they were keeping up wouldn’t stand a chance. Nobody but Paulie gave a shit about Butch, but was Alphonse really willing to test that? Nah, he was calling their bluff.

He relaxed into the cold steel chair and folded his arms behind his head, “Yeah? You get off watching security tapes of teens?”

Alphonse’s eye twitched, and he gestured to O’Brian who was more than willing to smack Butch with the butt of the rifle. Owch. Yeah, that was gonna bruise, but he didn’t flinch. Nah, he stared Alphonse down with the same self-satisfied smirk. 

The Overseer sighed, “I’m aware that a degenerate like you has no investment in upholding the peace and order of this vault, but I ask you this: what do you have to gain from withholding information about the Lockharts? Are you really so loyal to people who left you behind?”

A raw angry nerve got hit with a hammer, “The fuck do you even know? She told me she was lookin’ for her dad! If she knew anything you really think the doc would just up and leave her and Leo behind? And hows I supposed to know that she was a fugitive? Considerin’ the outbreak and everythin’ it seemed pretty normal to me.”

“The duffel bags weren’t a giveaway?”

“My Ma was dyin’ in there and she was the only one who’d stopped to help! You think I gave a shit if she was runnin’ with a duffel?”

The Overseer gestured again to O’Brian who struck harder than before. Still, Butch didn’t give them the satisfaction. He spat the blood at the Overseer’s feet and glared back angrier, ‘I dare you. I fucking dare you to push me harder.’

Alphonse held his gaze, and it pissed Butch off to see the icy blue flecks hidden in the Overseer’s hazel brown eyes. Everyone about this smug bastard’s face pissed him off.

Then, the Overseer relented, “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised at your lack of insight and intelligence. You never had the brains your cohorts do. No doubt the alcohol played a part.”

Vicious, snapping loathing welled up in Butch. He knew what the Overseer meant, but this asshole wasn’t getting away with talking about his Ma like that.  He smirked, bloody teeth and all, and gave this overseer a knowing look, “I wonder where I got it from.”

Finally, that impassive annoyance, disdain, and disappointment grew sharp and angry with warning, his mouth twisting into a sneer. It was so satisfying to watch his fist shake, so ready to strike Butch for the insinuation. Hannon and O’Brian were too wrapped up in their own heads too pick up on any of it, but nothing was more precious Alphonse Amalvador than his reputation.

‘I got shit on you too, old man. Watch yourself.’

Alphonse barely concealed the malice in his usually so well-controlled voice, “Get him out of here. There’s nothing more to learn from this degenerate.”

[tenrose]

My theory is that since Harrow conveniently forgetting about Gideon and can't access to her to protect her body, fight etc. , despite completing the lyctoral process in gtn, is that Gideon is obviously alive somehow. I mean so far it's not really gonna be a "omg she's alive" revelation when I get to the part that confirm that. Gtn made it very clear that Gideon is not an ordinary human and survived since childhood stuff she shouldn't have (including a literal genocide to give birth to Harrow wtf is this book) so obviously she is alive somehow. Also they conveniently didn't find her body, and every fiction enthusiast knows the rule: no body, no confirmed death (and I mean it's a necromancy book so even with a body I wouldn't be convinced lmao).

I think it has something to do with her soul... Which Harrow's parents couldn't sacrifice, Harrow can't access etc. But I can't begin to process how she's alive, where she is, and how exactly she is special. And especially I don't understand why Harrow would be falsifying her own memories, if she's doing this to herself which I believe because of the notes she left to herself. Like what is the purpose of all of this master plan? She already ascended and she got the promise from the Emperor to save the Ninth House. Let's just hope the day he learns she opened the not so well locked tomb he won't get too pissed because I can see several massive problems incoming lmfao. Also there's a lot to unpack here but right now it's not the main problem so I'll get to that later.

Also I'm starting to think the second person POV is Gideon. I'm not entirely sure, but sometimes some words or sentences just remind me of her. Especially when it comes to swords and fighting. The emphasis on the fact that Harrow knows nothing about it, but the narrator always has the right word and it seems a bit proud about it I guess? But also it severely lacks of snarky and smutty remarks so I'm not sure... But if she's supposedly somehow still connected to Harrow's body, which she should be after the lyctoral process... It would makes sense. But we're back to problem number one: if she's really into Harrow's head why can't Harrow reaches to her argghh???? It's hard to know cause we don't have other POVs but from the other Lyctors descriptions, it seems like Harrow really is alone in her brain and she doesn't have Gideon's eye colours, which seems to be the clear indicator of the lyctoral process being fully completed.

The whole problem imo really resolves around who the f is Gideon really or what is she? But how the fuck are we supposed to try and gather stuff about her to guess what the hell is happening when Harrow herself forgot about her? Like where do I start digging?

But anyway my main personal problem is that I want to see her alive, butch-y as ever, with a sword kicking ass, annoying and teasing Harrow 😭

[misquigleya]

thoughts below my dudes spoilers be extra heavy

getting some big ole "lost" vibes from that whole freezing to death scene with lottie, don't know how i feel about that cause "lost" fucked us over in the end and i'm still not over it all these years later. so. yj writers...don't let me down

akilah was precious with the little mouse / shrew ( not exactly sure what it was but it was cute ) and her being the only one really semi-clinging to "normalcy" with still studying for the STATS? i'm rooting for you bby girl pls do not follow in mari's footsteps

speaking of mari....girl if you find yourself wondering why you were chosen for the next bbq....think back to all the BEEF you were starting and having with everyone in that cabin like a;sdklfj pull your head out of your ass lmao

benny boy, my dude, my home-skillet....pls don't ask the "vicious monsters" what they would have / will do if you're chosen / selected for the next feast cause that just not a good thing to be putting in their heads. also you should have used your crutch against mari cause girly really be squaring up with you like ma'am that is a full grown adult man...sit your ass down

LAURA LEE PLEASE COME BACK CAUSE YOUR GF IS LOSIN IT BABES like...lottie really does need a voice of reason and i think that's what laura lee was to her aside from the og believer and thinking she [lottie] had a direct line to "god" with knowing what's up with the wilderness and shit

....javi being alive was not on my bingo card but i don't think he's completely out of the woods ( ha ) just yet cause it's still possible that he could not have been one of the, i'm assuming, 8 survivors. but we shall see but i know for certain that nat's gonna get an ear full from travis / the others cause of the whole "finding" his [javi] pants in the tree. but i had a feeling that it would come back and bite her in the ass...just not in the form of javi being alive

i love vanessa palmer so much like that's my butch lesbian <3 love that they own a little shop and it looks like it involves their interests, etc. absolutely love it for van

tai you need to talk to someone and i hope you actually talk to van about like....everything leading up to you just randomly showing up to their place of business which....other tai seems to be in more control???? like the whole breaking into jessica robert's place and finding the info to find van then "waking up" on the side of the road with no gas. way pass sleep walking and eating dirt and that don't sound good nor could it mean good is to come of it

shauna and jeff, mom and dad, you need to get it together but i'm with jeff in the way that shauna should not have told callie that she killed adam, that jeff knew, and helped get rid of the evidence. like it just...SHE'S TALKING TO A 30+ YEAR OLD CREEPO COP which i get it, she doesn't know that but still. she's already leaked that shauna did have an affair with adam and that just shines some shit light on shauna and jeff and just....baby what is you doin

something that was on my bingo card and that is having me squinting even harder at walt is the whole story about him having won a settlement and "surviving" an accident. also proclaiming himself to be a millionaire???? oh you mean hottie lottie's bread and jam aka the type of folks that come to cult camp???? nah. walt has def gotta be involved someway cause it makes sense; lottie knows how misty is/was and she could have seen that walt was the same ( if he wasn't fucking coached to be that way ) and pointed him in misty's direction cause it could be the perfect way to get misty to the cult camp though i'm sure misty would have found a way to get HER WOMAN back one way or another

and now to the biggest thing i have screamed with the wifey ( @scatcrccio ) ....if these writers are dicking me around with mistnat/NaSTY being a thing after teasing it so fuckin hard last season oN TOP OF THE ACTORS BOTH SHIPPING IT....i will get violent. it's giving me too much whiplash and flashbacks to killing eve and i just can not go through that kinda shit again. so if tHE WRITERS COULD PLEASE JUST EASE UP ON THE POTENTIAL SHIPS AND REFOCUS ON MISTNAT....that'd be fuckin super duper

....also absolutely no offence to lottie/nat or nat/lisa shippers like you do you boo-boo but i'm delusional and floating down the denial river grasping at mistnat and i need it to be canon okay????

[merulanoir]

I posted 7,760 times in 2022

That's 1,916 more posts than 2021!

317 posts created (4%)

7,443 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@flowers-all-around-me

@sorrelchestnut

@vaspider

@geardrops

@cat-boy-tits

I tagged 2,862 of my posts in 2022

#dishonored - 297 posts

#blackbirb babbles - 201 posts

#our flag means death - 139 posts

#dnd - 117 posts

#judaism - 82 posts

#dragon age - 70 posts

#horizon forbidden west - 57 posts

#disco elysium - 56 posts

#death stranding - 47 posts

#the witcher - 46 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#id feel so much more welcome at a pride thats a riot and welcomes kinky people than at whatever sanitized toothless crap some folks promote

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Fucking hate the feeling when you're bored and your brain hurts because it craves engagement but at the same time nothing feels appealing, no hobby or videogame or activity feels like worth the effort, so you just sit on the couch like

>:(

219 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

#4

Some days the executive really dysfunctions huh.

351 notes - Posted March 24, 2022

#3

I continue being amazed just how much of an effect starting hrt had on my sexuality. I used to think I was attracted to guys and masc-presenting people, but sike! My crushes on guys were 90% my debilitating dysphoria going gotta be one of my favorite genders, that.

I've been on T for 1.5 years, and in that time I've done something of a 180; I get weak in the knees for femmes and feminine people. I have zero wish to be feminine myself, but....girls pretty......

This has been (and keeps being) an interesting journey. I very much identify as "just some guy" but I can't deny feeling a massive kinship with butches and he/him lesbians. I present fairly binary in my irl life just for safety reasons, but everything about how I experience attraction, gender, and sexuality is profoundly queer.

This also goes to show how sometimes you won't know everything about yourself before the blaring alarm of dysphoria is finally addressed and silenced. I just want to give a shout-out to everyone who thought they were flavor A, only to later change their mind. Having the headspace to figure this stuff out is priceless. Obviously most people probably know their sexuality before transition, but I just want to reiterate that it's okay if you don't. Seems like I didn't.

Before life settled down, these kinds of odd and even contradictory vibes would have made me anxious. I would have felt like I have to pick one and own it a 100%. Now I'm just...kind of content to sit with these ideas. Maybe one will grow bigger than the others. Maybe not. All this comes before I even touch the fact that I'm some flavor of aroace. :D

I've become more private in recent years but maybe sharing this insight will help someone. I'm 31, which isn't that old, but I know I would have needed examples of older (not old, lmao) folks transitioning. Especially with the recent resurgence of TERF bullshit and hate against trans guys and transmasc people, I feel it's important to show that the people behind online handles are both more complicated than you'd think AND that they're still. Just some guy.

Peace, and happy pride month. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

523 notes - Posted June 14, 2022

#2

I fucking love it here, I'm never leaving Tumblr.

525 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

My partner was mailing me a care package and she asked if I'd like "a Kim Kitsuragi print."

Obviously I said yes, thinking she meant, like, a printed picture.

WRONG

See the full post

6,889 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sarcasticfemme]

fuck you did change your profile picture, you got me staring at your pretty face wishing my strap was running against your tongue and lips. slowly inching inside your warm wet mouth, teasing your tongue with just the tip before i thrust inside. watching the bulge of my strap against your throat, hearing your muffled whines, sneaking my hand between your legs to find you already wet and needy for more. punishments happen to teases but something tells me you'd enjoy that ;)

aww baby, i bet you look so beautiful with the curls in your hair. so sweet, i'd run my hands through your hair kissing every single one of your marks on your fingers from your homemade gift. my poor angel in need of hugs and snuggles, i've got you ❤

my weekend was okay, thank you baby. i hope yours was too. i know what you mean, i'd give you a big hug and a warm kiss for making it through the week lmao. can't have my precious doll all stressed out around me, can we? ;)

Oh now see that may have made me do a little more than blush. Maybe, just maybe, I wanna be a little bit of a bratty tease, put on something lacey, and show you just how pretty I am on my knees. Or maybe I wanna think about you letting me suck your strap, letting me kneel down and beg for it. I'd be such a good little cocksucker for you, I promise. I don't even have a gag reflex, so you can grab a fist full of my hair and fuck my face the same way you wanna my pussy. Make me a drooly mess just to tease me about how wet I am from just a little butchcock in my throat. 🥺 I promise I'll make such pretty sounds for you that you won't even need to punish me (unless you want to because I was being a loud slut ❤️)

😭😭oh no you're sweet and a smooth talker I'm doomed. I am in desperate needs of hugs and snuggled tho. Pretty please can I lay my head in your lap so you can play with my hair? That sounds so nice ❤️❤️ and I can look up and marvel at what a handsome butch you are. And maybe if I look cute and adoring enough you can slide your fingers in my mouth and tease me about how desperate I am to be your good girl 🥺 or your doll, which, God you mash my buttons when you call me that. Fully brain offline.

Yay for making it through the week and weekend intact! 🥳🥳 mine was okay, mostly just dead on my feet after a long week, its my busy season so lots of thinking right now. If only there was someone to force my brain off 😌

[genderkoolaid]

(Trigger warning for transphobic content, self misgendering to make a point, transandrophobia. On anon bc some family members follow my main lmao pain)

Hi! I'm Caleb. For reference, I started physically and socially transitioning around 3 years ago.

As a trans man, I was always told not to ruin my perfect, lovely feminine body by becoming like "those filthy men" and taking T and getting top surgery. My mother would always insist "you're not a man, you're just a woman who's been taught to hate herself" and my grandmother would always insist "why would you want to be a man, they're disgusting". Every twist and turn wherever I wanted to seem masculine, someone would insult me for ~abandoning my womanhood~ for the sake of "attention" or "male privilege" (which is unfair, because I've always been treated as lesser than cis men AND women for being a trans man, ergo "a delusional woman") Every time I said I didn't want to be perceived as "pretty" or I said I didn't like how dresses made me feel, people reacted like "oh here comes one of those 'not like other girls'". If I said I liked a certain flower or felt a bit cute one day or did what is considered a feminine hobby, the response was "oh thank God you're not like those *other* men". If someone perceived me as just a butch lesbian, it would always be like "what are you, a male chauvinist?" for appearing masculine. If someone did perceive me as a man, they'd think me disgusting and inherently evil. My transition (which is still under way) is always made out to be some terrible loss of a perfectly good woman, and an attempt to escape femininity because of misogyny by some poor, misled little girl manipulated by the evil transes and men.

Some people have approached me talking about how Elliott Page, too, left femininity for the obviously oh so disgusting masculinity. Some have approached me like "men are more likely to rape and abuse women... why do you want to be a man? do you wanna rape women?"

Jokes have been made about my being a trans man, including "you now have to own only one pair of jeans", "only wash yourself once a week to be a true man", "real men don't wash their hands", "(insert my name) now has to be a piece of shit, it's just the law", "your hair isn't gross enough to belong to a man", "ewww you're a man??", etc etc etc. I'd almost considered detransitioning because every single person I knew except for a select few seemed to hate me for me, even if it was lighthearted or unintentional. People would comment highly inappropriate things about me, and I'd honestly hit one of my lowest points ever emotionally because of, well, everything. I'd fallen behind in my work and studies because I simply felt too shitty to bother.

The way that femininity is considered the epitome of purity, grace, loveliness, kindness, sweetness, etc and masculinity as evil, uncleanly, rude, unfit to be in public, etc has done a lot of harm, not even just for me, but also for my butch lesbian friends. Not to mention the fact that the whole "men are inherently evil" shtick gives actual evil men the excuse they need to be pieces of shit a la "it's in my nature", but that's a different conversation.

I really appreciate you doing the whole transandrophobia thing, makes me feel a little less alone. Some people forget that trans people don't experience the same privileges that cis folks do, as if transitioning magically makes you just like a cis person in every single way. Spoiler alert, it fucking doesn't. I will never experience the same privileges that cis men experience solely based on the fact that I'm trans. It's fucking unfair, but that's how it is.

It's Caleb, again, I felt the last ask was too long. My experiences truly have been a fucking textbook definition of transphobia and transandrophobia, and yet I'm "oh so lucky" that I get to "decide to be a man" and gain privilege over my cis women friends. I'm oh so demanding and oh so sensitive and oh such a typical brutish male for pleading that people stopped insulting me and my expression of self. This fucking oppression Olympics where everyone keeps kicking each other down because they "don't have it as bad" or don't have the same experiences gets the entire queer community fucking nowhere. People act as though radfems only target transfems, but I've had multiple radfems in my dms telling me I'm a poor misled little girl, that I should get off T because it makes me aggressive, etc etc etc. Every time I've complained about it, the response was "you're a man lmao you don't have it as bad, you so desperately want to be oppressed". I love transfems dearly for we are in the same boat, but assuming that trans men don't also have extremely negative experiences based on their gender simply because it's not the same as transfem struggles, and comparing trans men to trans women the whole time in the context of who has a higher percentage of suicide rates or detransitioning or hate crimes... it's fucking exhausting.

Thank you for sharing your experiences.