#but people act like it does so these are interesting dynamics to discuss

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

A lot of people will be spending more time with their families of origin in the next few weeks.

And when you're with people you've spent so much time around in the past, it can be easy to fall into old habits and social role dynamics without really noticing, and without evaluating whether those patterns are reflective of the values we have now.

So with that in mind, I'd like to gently suggest taking a closer look at your family's interactions and see whether there are patterns you're part of that you don't want to be and could potentially do something to disrupt.

For example, is there anyone:

your family routinely treats as faintly ridiculous or hysterical?

or whose ideas, opinions, or interests are automatically dismissed by the group when those same things would be worthy of consideration/discussion from someone else?

or who gets teased and made fun of more than others, or past the point where they seem to be having fun?

or who is expected to do a disproportionately large amount of work that others could be helping with?

or who is consistently left out of group activities and is not asked if they'd like to join this time? (Do they think you'd be happy if they did join in?)

or who is automatically treated like "the problem" in any conflict they're in, regardless of whether they initiated the conflict or were being reasonable or not?

or who makes/has made repeated requests that some reasonable boundary be respected that is habitually ignored, belittled, or argued with?

or who habitually speaks or acts in unkind or unloving ways and gets minimal pushback, and/or minimal concern for the targets of their unkindness, because "that's just how they are"?

Or is there maybe:

a gender, racial, and/or class/income, etc., divide in who in your family does how much cooking/cleaning/kinship work?

a difference in who leads dinnertable conversations and whose input, interests, opinions, etc., are more valued/respected?

a difference in whose job or home life is worthy of being asked about?

automatic assumptions about people's interests, skills, life experiences, etc., that haven't been updated in years? Is anyone trying to build connections and find out more about who each of you are now?

Group social dynamics are always complicated, and perhaps never more so than in families. I'm not in your family, and I don't know the complicated contexts between each of the members. I also don't know how you'd like your family interactions to go, or if you're even spending time together willingly or unwillingly. Maybe this post will be helpful to you, maybe not.

But if you want your family to interact in more loving ways, sometimes as adults or even teenagers there ARE things we can do to interrupt patterns people are participating in without even noticing!

We can start helping with work we're not expected to participate in, and we can ask others who don't participate to take on part of the task. (In many families, a man standing up and starting to clear away the dishes and saying, "Brian, would you mind grabbing the green beans and the mac and cheese?" would be out of the ordinary if the women usually do that, but (in many families) people would go along with it once suggested.)

We can try to bring neglected others into conversation by asking and genuinely listening to their thoughts and opinions.

We can speak up when someone's interrupted and insist that we want to hear the rest of their thought.

We can take seriously the person treated like a joke, and show others that we're taking them seriously.

We can say "I don't think we need to discuss people's bodies here" or "not cool, dude" and redirect the conversation when someone is unkind.

Sometimes we can take people aside and ask them to ease up on a person being teased. Sometimes saying "I think it's actually hurting their feelings" or "it's not funny anymore, let up" is enough to actually make a difference.

We can ask about someone's job, interests, home life, hobbies etc., when they are usually left out of being asked.

We can try to remember that people aren't fixed in stone, and try to get to know who people are now without making too many assumptions.

Sometimes harmful patterns can be interrupted just by pointing them out and making an effort to not participate in them anymore.

[casually-eat-my-soul]

Stiles Stilinski and Claudia Stilinski are such an interesting dynamic. Only one person commented on the fact that they wanted to hear about this, but that’s permission to me, so yall have to suffer with me. It’s been awhile since I’ve watched teen wolf so my take may be off, please no hate but I’m open to discussion.

Claudia Stilinski is such an interesting character to me. We know virtually nothing about except how she, especially her death and the way she died affects the Stiles and the sheriff.

Stiles watched her die, the sheriff didn’t. Stiles stayed beside her, the sheriff was at work. Both undergo guilt because of this. This is the exact moment when stiles has to grow up - it fundamentally changed who stiles is as a character, it also defines him in certain moment. To me both characters try and keep their connect to Claudia in anyway they can. This is made apparent with the jeep. That’s Claudia car, stiles refuses to leave it even though it’s unreliable. This could reflect stiles relationship or his idea of his relationship with his mother is unreliable. The sheriff connects to his wife via stiles. Stiles real name - his mother gave it to him, he had the nickname mischief but changed to stiles, I wonder why?? Maybe after his mother died. But they can’t in the end, they can’t let go over her but they can’t hold onto her.

Stiles has a lot of trauma response from this moment. He pretends he’s fine even when he’s not, this is a learned response. He obsessively takes care of his dad, wanting to hold onto the last parent in his life. It also feels like a way to hold onto his mother via taking care of his dad. Literally every way that that stiles acts after his mom’s death is becuase of her death. The way that he loves people after his moms death is an effect of the last months of his mothers life and her death. He cares to a point of obsession (one of the reason I ship sterek, I think they’d balance each other out or just be able to understand each other darkness)

His mother’s disease would have taken precedents over everything else. And even after she died, his fathers feeling would have been more important. The Stilinski’s don’t talk about their feelings, they don’t talk about the times when they hurt each other. It’s almost like they can’t, that there is a disconnect. To me this says that Claudia was the emotional support for both of the Stilinski’s men. Don’t get me wrong, this is not hate on the sheriff. He does try to connect to stiles - they do talk each other about other things in their lives.

In a way I can understand Stiles. My father is a cop. The change in shifts and odd hours would mean that sometimes I wouldn’t see my father for days. Add on the fact that He is the Sheriff, whom the show makes it clear take extra shifts - stiles would be alone a lot. To me this means that his mother was his main source of paternal affection. This was further cemented for me when stiles tells his father “mom would have believed me”

When she dies it almost makes it seem that his care was transferred onto Scott. In most cases this would make Melissa a surrogate mother but in the show it doesn’t feel like that to me. Stiles is extremely independent, when his dad was away at work he would take care of his mother, even after her assaulting him. This would fundamentally change the way he interacts with adults, parents, specifically mothers. So I don’t see him grasping onto Melissa as a mother figure.

But also the way he interacts with Melissa, on one hand he’s almost her equal. He takes care of Scott almost as much as Melissa herself does. In a way their interactions feel like two parents talking to each other. On the other hand, it is clear that Melissa take care of him like he’s her son. But to me the only time when stiles reacts to her authority is when she’s mad, sometimes not even than. And the one time when he’s been possessed he calls her mom.

But also it’s made clear that the Stilinski’s don’t talk about Claudia - like at all. In the first season when the sheriff is drunk he says “I miss your mother”. The absolute shock on stiles face when he says that is so visceral. Claudia lingers over the household, not in a way that is a happy memory. she haunts it. After she dies stiles takes her place. The whole scene “how can I take care of you if I don’t know everything about you / I’m the dad, your the son” Stiles takes care of his dad obsessively, in a way that upsets the the balance of a child/parent relationship.

This is further made clear with the hints that the sheriff got major drunk after Claudia died. And that he threw himself into work once he got sober. Stiles effectively took over the household, putting him in the roles of his mother. We also see how the sheriff reacts to this because Stiles plays both the role of his wife and his son, not reaching the expectation for either. Stiles can never be his mother and yet he is her carbon copy. He wants to be her but all doesn’t at all. This dichotomy between the idea of stiles and the idea of Claudia means that she will always be present in the home. The first parent you will see in stiles face is Claudia. She haunts the narrative via her ghost but also via Stiles.

Especially in season three with the nogitsune, especially when it tricked everyone into believing that he’s dieing the same way his mother did. This is the final act of stiles becoming Claudia. The ghost of his mother has never been as prevalent but in this moment. You cannot tell me that his didn’t absolutely destroy the Stilinski households for months, even after they figured out that it was just a trick. To me this was one of the worst tricks played on stiles, because besides losing his friend this is what caused the Most devastation to him and his father. When he gets the MRI done this is when we see the change between stiles and the nogitsune. The demon has enough power to take over even for a few seconds because of this.

Being his mom especially in this connection is what devastates stiles the most. The nogitsune was in stiles head, he knows what would hurt him the most and what stiles fears the most.

Idk this is just my opinion and take.

[tanadrin]

Imagine one day a new social trend starts spreading. It’s something unbelievably dumb. Not harmful per de, but truly silly to believe. Let’s say, I dunno, healing crystals start going mainstream. Everybody’s talking about their crystals. It becomes impolite to criticize people who believe in healing crystals. They become a big part of people’s personalities, and people on TV start talking about them, and one day years down the line politicians are debating funding for crystal-based medicine. And through it all you are sitting there going, what the fuck is happening. I thought we were all on the same page on this. You want to get along and be friendly and open minded but you cannot pretend to believe in healing crystals, this is nonsense, and when the topic comes up you refuse to lie about it. This eventually starts to have social consequences—they’re that popular!—but what can you do? You cannot pretend a lump of quartz can cure the flu or whatever. It’s just all so unbearably embarrassing.

I think what the centrist/liberal/center-left reactionary turn driven by culture war stuff feels like. And I think the key emotion is probably cringe. Not hate, not fear, though those emotions may reinforce the turn. I think in a lot of cases people who imagine themselves pretty open minded and flexible have as part of their worldview something they thought was bedrock social consensus—on the level of “healing crystals are silly woo”—so bedrock maybe that it didn’t even need to be a conceptual boundary they actually policed in their minds.

For instance, when she started her anti-trans turn, JK Rowling made a big show of not being really anti trans, just arguing that Some People Had Gone Too Far. She wasn’t a frothing religious reactionary, after all. And I believe that’s probably true! I think Rowling probably did have a mental model of sex and gender with a little bit of give in it—of the “we can humor the odd weirdo” type. But as the discussion of trans rights in the UK got more serious over her lifetime, trans people went from “the odd weirdo” to “a recognized minority,” and eventually this ran against a bedrock belief that on some level men are men and women are women and never the twain shall meet. To act otherwise was just too embarrassing. And she wasn’t going to embarrass herself in the name of political correctness.

Other people whose brains have been eaten by the anti-woke mind virus (as @eightyonekilograms calls it) have something going of the contrarian in them, who enjoys yelling “up yours, woke moralists!” or w/e. Im thinking of ppl like Glenn Greenwald here, or Dave Chapelle, people who seem not to feel alive except when people are mad at them. That’s a separate but interesting dynamic. And there are people like Graham Linehan who become totally unhinged through this process of auto-radicalization, moths drawn ever closer to a particular source of validation within their chosen reactionary subcommunity, until they are truly parodies of themselves. That is also an important dynamic, but it’s one that only takes hold after the initial turn has begun.

I think the role of that feeling of cringe, that refusal to entertain an idea because it is too embarrassing (even if it does actually have a decent body of research behind it, unlike crystals) is important to think about, because I am interested in how to get people over it. I know that feeling has affected my own thinking over my lifetime. I wasn’t raised particularly conservative, but I had to learn not to cringe at a lot of feminist thought before I could appreciate it and learn from it. I explicitly didn’t have that cringe when it came to gay people for whatever reason, so it never entered my mind that it might be a problem. I remember being surprised to learn when I was very young that some boys wanted to marry other boys, but my response was “huh. Go figure.” Because for whatever reason I had not picked up that this was something I was supposed to be grossed out by. A general doctrine of empathy, of trying to understand people on their own terms, can help forestall some of this stuff, but it’s not foolproof in either direction—I don’t want to believe crystals have healing powers if it becomes socially popular to do so, just because it is socially popular to do so! And if they do, I don’t want to not believe they do just because it is socially unpopular!

(Obviously the crystals thing is not a one to one metaphor for the trans thing, so don’t read too much into that. Maybe astrology would have been a better analogy. Also I’m not talking just about people whose reactionary turn is predicated on trans issues—I think this dynamic applies to everything from gay rights to the Tridentine Mass. But trans issues are a handy example bc, as the adage goes, somebody posts once about trans people and they never post anything normal again. I think the classic rapid-onset trans derangement syndrome is closely tied to the fact that gender norms are a really deep element of many people’s social-consensus-based worldview, and so challenged to that worldview are felt as really cringe.)

I’m curious if other people who grew more liberal in their thinking over time had a similar experience of having to overcome what was basically a feeling of embarrassment at certain ideas.

[sourslip]

I'm still reeling from that reveal/scene (like most of us, apparently) so bear with the chewing-on-glass scatterbrain but I think the surprise has actually made me appreciate Laura's RP choices even more

going into that scene set up my expectations for some comforting, maybe some discussion of what Laudna was going through post-party split, but overall I was expecting - at most - some cute and friendly intimacy reaffirming they are Very Good Friends

AND THEN ITS LAURA BAILEY WITH THE CHAIR!!!

"Can I kiss you?" felt like it came on so fast without any specific queues (like what we've seen in previous romances where one or both PCs will name their desires in conversation with someone else before acting on it) but it also made perfect sense in retrospect

ever since Laudna came back, Imogen has been sitting on something, always seeming to hold back some burning comments here and there. she was also insistent that Laudna would get to choose everything going forward, and part of that I think meant Laudna having the freedom to think on a response to any question of further intimacy without even a chance of Imogen overhearing. Laudna could have the freedom to wonder if she did want to get in touch with "that part of her mind", to think about how painful, scary, or awkward that might be after decades of being shut off to it.

Laudna has some pretty intense self-image and self-worth issues to work through, but she's also had 2 years of Imogen in her head able to pick up on her wants without having to ever voice them and, ultimately, without having to accept that she does have her own wants independent of the people around her. Laudna seems to have only just started to get in touch with her anger, and that kind of repressed emotion that comes out in the healing process is one of the less intentional ones! Girl hasn't felt safe enough to actually think about her wants, let alone try communicating them!

Imogen and Laudna reconnected after their time apart and discovered that they - as Marisha pointed out in 4SD - have grown into different people, and that resulted in the tension of the first moments in the scene where they kind of made quasi-small talk. They were figuring out how to connect with each other again but, rather than return to their old dynamics (that kept them stagnant), Imogen set them up to try exploring something new and maybe a little healthier with communication going forward.

I think Imogen has been working towards this for a while, and while the circlet was the last "thing" she needed to help force them to communicate better, having the time apart gave them an opportunity to try something new.

Imogen has held a lot back before because she's too tuned into other peoples thoughts, and Laudna held off exploring her own wants and desires for too many reasons - but she is starting to get more in touch with her self-interested emotions. So they've both been tip-toeing towards a change for a while, but change like that can sometimes be like getting into cold water; at a certain point you just have to commit and jump in the rest of the way.

So to me, not only was Imogen trying to give Laudna the freedom to make her decision without an audience (the talk about the circlet), but she also made the most of the new distance between them to push them both towards a change, one that challenged both of them to be more honest with themselves, each other, and about what they want from their relationship.

Laura Ultimate-Romancer Bailey everyone

[elipri]

My maybe unpopular opinion is that Damian and Anyas dynamic shouldn't change in significant ways until Anya actually views Damian as a genuine friend and not a shiny prize. Because at this point her motivation isn't exactly better than all the other girls' and Damian can probably sense that, it's just that he can't figure out her why.

This post is based on a pretty interesting discussion in a DA server I'm in where some fellow fans have criticized Endo's writing, mainly because there wasn't as much impact after the bus arc as people expected (which is ofc valid crit). I just want to share what I wrote:

Late to the whole convo, but I lightly disagree that the da dynamic didn't change *at all*, however it does seem as though there wasn't as much impact from the bus arc as hoped. However, we did get some subtle shifts that should be noteworthy, namely Damian actually getting jealous and shivering at the mere *thought* of Anya getting "stolen" from him. This has never happened prior to the bus arc and is now a recurring development. That and Becky now teasing Damian in addition to cheering on Anya, especially when comparing her very open hostility towards him earlier in the story. Not only is she friendly to him now, it seems like she has seen through his crush too. I don't think that Endo will change the dynamics too much anytime soon, especially because of how little time has passed in the sxf universe. Keep in mind that damian doesn't really have a proper role model who actively helps him unlearn the toxic mindset he quite literally grew up with; the closest he'd get is his mother wishing for him to be friends with Anya too, but that is only something he heard from Jeeves and not Melinda herself. But he definitely was reflecting on that in the cake chapter. I also think that Damian is in his "I'm too grown-up for this kiddie shit" phase, he probably thinks he's better than *everyone else*, not just Anya (like him scoffing at Bill). He really doesn't want to dance with anyone and is just annoyed with all this attention imo. But he's also jealous and doesn't want Anya to dance with anyone else, but ofc won't actually admit that because he's a brat. He's just a kid with many Big Feelings™ going on that he doesn't understand and doesn't even get the privacy to unpack, so ofc he's lashing out and acting even worse than usual. I wouldn't be surprised if he just runs away in the next chapter because he's just so fed up with everything and everyone. I feel like us fans keep forgetting that Damians boundaries are straight up being pushed if not disrespected, he's been saying multiple times that he doesn't want to dance and literally everyone is ignoring him as a person with feelings (except his friends who probs set the competition up in order to reject everyone on his behalf) Nobody but his two best friends actually care about his feelings on this whole matter, he's just a shiny prize to everyone else *including* Anya.

Anyway I think Endo is saving the big dynamic change for something far more significant such as the telepathy reveal 👀

[ask-the-prose]

Building a Character Arc

Hi all! These past 8 months have been a busy time huh? I’m back and hoping to jumpstart this blog with a bit more organization. So let’s get started with our next guide!

We talk a lot about worldbuilding and plotting out stories, but there’s an important factor I haven’t seen much discussion around, and that is: character arcs.

We’ll be covering character building next week, as that will build off of this post. But building a character arc is just as important as knowing all the static facts about a character and how they react to the world you’ve built around them!

What is the character’s purpose?

We love to imagine our characters as people and real in our heads, but ultimately they are a tool to tell a story. So when building your character arc, you need to know what the purpose of this character is. How do they serve the story? How do they enhance the themes?

Characters can have tons of purposes, from the protagonist to the antagonist to cannon fodder. Characters can serve multiple purposes at one time, even. So what do you want your character to do for the story?

An example: in The Hunger Games, Gale Hawthorne serves a purpose far beyond just love interest #2. Gale helps propel the plotline in a number of ways. He spurs Katniss into action when he is whipped in the town square, he challenges Katniss’ worldviews both directly and indirectly by proposing ethical and complex questions that Katniss must later answer, and he’s symbolic of an answer to the main theme of the books. He isn’t relegated to just one of these purposes, but he does have to have one otherwise, he would be irrelevant words distracting from the actual story.

What changes within the character? What doesn’t?

Characters can be divided into two categories: static and dynamic. Static characters stay the same over the course of the story, whereas dynamic characters do not. So a good question to ask yourself when building a character arc is what, if anything, changes about the character over the course of the story?

One important factor to consider is the character’s attitude towards the world, the conflict, or the other characters. If that changes, how does it change? Why? What happens to cause that change? These questions can be applied to any number of factors you wish to include, like a character’s opinion of themselves or another concept, a character’s worldview, or a character’s feelings towards their circumstances.

If the character is a static character, why? Does it serve the story’s themes?

Is your character an active participant or reacting to plot events?

Naturally, a character reacts to events and responds to those reactions through action. But do those actions actually affect the plot? Does the plot happen to the character or does the character act and consequences follow?

These seem like plot building questions, and they are, but it’s critical to understanding your characters as well. Characters that always react to the plot and have little consequences for actual actions taken tend to be placed in the “reactive” category. While I can’t speak to every style and story structure, most traditional publishers and western audiences prefer active characters over reactive characters. They want the character to impact the plot, their actions have natural consequences that push the plot forward.

Reactive characters can absolutely be utilized to tell interesting and compelling stories, though, so don’t throw out the whole story if you find your character is more reactive than active.

Conclusion

So you’ve created the plot and the premise and you need to populate your world with characters! Remember these key points in building a character arc: purpose, change, and action. Hopefully this guide can help you get on the road towards creating a character arc that not only compels your reader, but enhances your themes and serves your story.

-- Indy

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Poor rendition of queer characters in HH and HB

Here I am again talking about queer representation in Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, this time just more generally. Because it's always a little weird to me when people claim HH/HB to have good queer representation, when in actuality most of the queer characters are either just blatant stereotypes or get mishandled somehow. And with Helluva Boss recently winning the Queertys - Web series reward I think that this is probably a pretty good time to acknowledge that kind of stuff (as people have done before).

TW: Sexual assault, R@pe (when referring to the actions of characters)

Blitzø (Pansexual): is very sexual and seen on screen multiple times either having sex or just having had sex. Pretty much fits the general stereotype of queer men always being sexual and also the stereotype of pansexuals just sleeping with everybody. Like, he literally screwed the mutual Ex of his coworkers even though he knew how much that guy hurt them.

Stolas (Gay): also mostly sexual (from how he was introduced) and he is in a pretty terrible "relationship" with Blitzø, which includes coercion, SA, Power dynamics and fetishization. Another very sex-driven queer man. Also just great proof for the people assuming that queer relationships are inherently predatory, unhealthy and never work out.

Moxxie (Bisexual): is often forced into a very feminine role because even in relationships with women, queer men always have to be pointed out to be feminine and putting a guy in a dress is funny I guess.

Fizzarolli & Asmodeus (Queer): they're actually better than a lot of the other characters here but there is still some of that uneven power dynamic going on with them and there are obvious issues with their relationship. Overall they aren't too bad though. They didn't get that much sexual focus and what they got is kinda warranted since Ozzie is the Lust demon. But there is that one scene with Fizz stepping out of his car with Dildo confetti canons (I think) and that was sorta weird, since in an episode before that they presented Crimson as being homophobic and stereotypical for assuming queer men are all obsessed with dicks. Which is just interesting because thats most of the queer men in Vivzepops stories.

Chaz (Queer): just a sexually abusive asshole because we definitely needed more predatory queer men in this show.

Sally May (Trans mtf): basically the single recognized trans character in both shows and she only had one line. After that they made fan merch for her which consisted of her in a bikini with her bulge being drawn pretty visibly (multiple times). Of course there's nothing wrong with Trans people who don't have surgery but it's just a tiny bit weird to me that fanservice merchandise is what she got reduced to, when something like that wasn't even the joke of the only line she had in the show and because she hasn't recieved any kind of focus after that.

Angel Dust (Gay): now there is a lot of stuff that could be said about Angel. On one hand he is another very sexual gay man whose screentime often just consists of sex jokes and references. On the other hand that's a big point for his character. How he tries to act confident in his sexuality when in reality it's the main source of his problems. Though he does often harass other men in the show and that's just so unnecessary. Talking about Angel mostly leads into discussing if he is good representation for SA victims or not, which is something I don't want to talk about that much because I feel like it's not my place to judge that as someone who never has experienced SA. I'm gonna say that I do find Viv's treatment of him outside of the show insensitive (with the pro-shipping, diminishing Valentino as an Abuser and general sexualization of the characters) but as far as the portrayal of him in the show goes I've heard different opinions and you should read the discussion's of actual r@pe survivors about this topic if you want to know about more about it.

Husk (Queer): I don't have anything to say about Husk. He is a very refreshing queer man in these show's and there is nothing bad about him I could think of right now.

Valentino (Queer): for him I mostly want to talk about how he is treated outside of the show which doesn't sit right with me. He is a villian in HH so it's understandable that he is gonna do effed up stuff. I also like that the show tries to make a point about how men get sexually assaulted too (wether they succeeded in that inside the show I'm not gonna judge too hard like I said). But there are a lot of people who not only sexualize him, but also his actions and his relationship to Angel and from what I know Viv never really spoke out against that. She actually interacts with people who do that stuff and I it's just kinda gross.

Vox (Queer): I also don't have a lot to say about him. He and Val are a couple so he is dating a r@pist but he is also a villain so you can't really expect more from him. Especially since he would still be interacting with a r@pist even if they weren't dating.

Alastor (Aromantic, Asexual): is obviously not interested in relationships or sex but his identity is pretty much ignored by a huge amount of the fandom. Vivzepop never say's anything about people blatantly invalidating him like that. It seems to me like she doesn't care about characters who can't be involved in shipping but still wanted to have more diversity in her show so she just called him AroAce. In Hazbin Hotel he isn't bad representation though. His sexuality is never the focus but thats fine, it's mostly just the treatment he gets outside of HH which I don't like.

Charlie (Bisexual): doesn't have a lot to her sexuality. This is something I talked about pretty lengthy in my other post, specifically about the lack of Sapphic content in both shows, so I won't go into too much detail here. Her relationship with Vaggie would probably be the best in both shows if it wasn't for the fact that they both never get the real spotlight as a couple. And there is that thing in Vivzepops stories where the women are pretty much sexless without men and that's obviously something that is generally an issue when talking about the lack of Sapphic representation (which is also a topic heavily tied to sexism). Charlie's portrayal isn't necessarily stereotypical but that's just because there is nothing to her identity in the show.

Vaggie (Lesbian): like I said I already talked about the Chaggie relationship so now I wanna focus on something I didn't even mention in that post. Her name literally being Vagina and that's apparently funny because she is a Lesbian so she obviously likes Vagina. That's just incredibly stereotypical and also excludes Trans Lesbians and Asexual Lesbians who don't want sex. The whole joke was that Adam named her that because he is obsessed with sex and he's a jerk. But her name was always Vagina even in the pilot (from what I know Adam wasn't conceived then and neither was the idea that Vaggie even is a former exterminator).

That's all the queer characters I could think of. I hope I didn't miss any.

I thought about including Millie here too. But she was also already included in my other discussion post and I still don't know if she is canonically Bisexual of if that is just a headcannon so I didn't put her here.

I'm just gonna say that i don't have a problem with queer men being sexual (or any queer person in that regard). But it's pretty much every one of her queer male characters. This is especially bad when a lot of the relationships are toxic as well.

I just think too many characters fit stereotypes and to me that isn't good queer representation. If you like the depiction of queer characters in HH or HB that's good for you and you don't have to agree with me. But you also can't really deny a lot of this stuff and you can't expect others to just be fine with bland, hurtful and sometimes even toxic representation like there is in these shows.

[swallowerofdharma]

Yashiro’s Cruel God part one

Disclaimer: this post contains a detailed and straightforward analysis of chapter 25. Doumeki isn’t the villain, if you were worried about that. Actually I must apologize because I wanted to talk about him too, but as usual I started this meta with Yashiro and got carried away. This is also why I am dividing it in parts to avoid having a very very long post. So other parts will hopefully follow to fully elaborate the premise I made. Thank you for understanding. And please take care of your wellbeing, if mentioning Yashiro’s stepfather upset you, maybe skip this one.

Premise: not a matter of perfection but of balance

This person I followed reblogged the Declarations of healthy adulthood by David Richo in big big font and - having only one thought on my mind apparently - I read all that text in Yashiro’s POV. I actually don’t think that this is a perfect model or anything, and I am generally skeptical of self help books (I only assume this is something like it), but why not use this as an example, while considering something that I find interesting about Yashiro and Doumeki? During the discussion about the latest chapter, I said something along the lines of Doumeki representing young love, while Yashiro’s approach has been more mature, and I meant it thinking about Yashiro being aware and cautious about hurting others [and being intentional when he does, since he put a bullet in Doumeki’s leg] and being quite self reliant, and yes I know that he is also afraid of being hurt/loved! in previous posts here, I have mentioned that Yashiro’s acceptance of his past is only-in-part denial or downplaying of trauma, because it has been also a strategy and an impressive sign of his maturity and determination to live in the present. Isn’t it exceptional that Yashiro doesn’t seem all that resentful of his parents? That he openly says that he doesn’t blame others? We have to confront his words always mindful of the fact that he usually is an unreliable narrator, but in many instances he says the truth or half truths and his demeanor confirmed that he did some of what David Richo proposes: I accept full responsibility for the shape my life has taken; I accept that I may never feel I am receiving - or have received - all the attention I seek; One by one, I drop every expectation of people and things; I let go of blame, regret, vengeance, and the infantile desire to punish those who hurt or reject me; No one can or needs to bail me out. I am not entitled to be taken care of by anyone or anything, I let go of control without losing control.

I thought that it was very interesting to consider the Yashiro/Doumeki dynamics from different angles, like older/younger, or even realist/romantic, for example. The point of this experiment isn’t to make a comparison of merit nor to talk about a character in better light than another. Maybe those differences need to be confronted or balanced: for example the realist maybe needs some of the romantic’s idealism to soar and not be stuck on the ground. Yoneda-san might be onto something so human and amazing here. An important clarification is due before saying anything else. As characters that are written as full human beings, with their complexity and contradictions, Yashiro and Doumeki can’t be put neatly into the opposite categories I proposed. The story is much more dynamic, so I ask you to take a further step and put those opposites at the ends of a spectrum and to move our characters freely in both directions. Yashiro tends toward being effectively the older and more realistic one but he has traits that make him move down towards the other end too, even to the extreme of being childish. Consider for example these other statements, from the Declarations of healthy adulthood: I need never fear my own truth, powers, fantasies wishes, thoughts, sexuality, dreams, or ghosts; When change and growth scare me, I still choose them. I may act with fear, but never because of it; I am still safe when I cease following the rules my parents (or others) set for me; If people knew me as I really am, they would love me for being human like them. These points clearly demonstrate Yashiro’s unresolved problems, where he is stuck if you want, and why probably nobody believed me when I pointed at him as being mature (eh, he has his moments tho, you can’t deny that).

I challenge everyone to consider that those four points in particular are quite challenging for most people in general, but particularly so for someone who has fear/betrayal as the foundational principle in their childhood instead of a normal amount even a scarse amount of parental love/safety. And I want to underline childhood here, not teenage years or later.

I need never fear my own truth, powers, fantasies wishes, thoughts, sexuality, dreams, or ghosts. Yashiro here is a mix of contradictions, because he outwardly seems to own those things, even making them a point of his persona, but most of those things are based on the lies he told himself, or his stepfather told him: see this other point

I am still safe when I cease following the rules my parents (or others) set for me. Isn’t this statement extremely helpful to understand Yashiro’s situation? To feel safe he had to build his personality according to the rules of the one who had all the power over him and had already taken away any sense of security from him. This is probably one of those things that can be hard to understand when you have never been there. Most notably, not only in the manga this has been pointed out, but it has been pointed out by Yashiro himself. He is self conscious of this, he knows that he lied to himself as a child, that he had to, and he is constantly choosing to continue lying because that is still the only foundation he has. There was no familial love, no other relative safety. Letting go of the lies actually means going to pieces and breaking down.

This isn’t different from what happens to people who are tortured. Yashiro’s father completely took away any sense of security and safety. The aggravating circumstances were that Yashiro as a child didn’t have any other point of reference or knowledge to understand what was happening with his body and in that state of mind what his father told him had to be the only truth possible. Parents who abuse their children most often don’t even realize what they are doing to its full extent. That’s the immense cruelty of these types of situations. The rules are lies, but the lies are rules to follow to be safe:

You like it when it hurts, right? If it doesn’t hurt, I can’t get into it.

What happened in chapter 25: why now?

Yashiro didn’t want to have sex with Doumeki and said so repeatedly. Doumeki has grown on him, behind liking his physical appearance or using him as a substitute for Kageyama: Yashiro truly liked this person and he liked that Doumeki was impotent. Thanks to that, Yashiro grew comfortable around Doumeki and with comfort and safety comes familiarity. When Yashiro discovered that the impotence was gone, he was angry and terrified. They had become too close and now the premise has changed and Yashiro couldn’t trust Doumeki or himself anymore. I won’t analyze here the scene in the shower but I’ll skip to the point. Doumeki only understood that his love was required, that he was wanted and stopped thinking. He acted passionately like any young person who had a normal foundation in love would. He didn’t understand anything that Yashiro asked or why there were mixed signals and what it all meant. He pushed and hurt and broke without being aware of what he was doing.

And Yashiro was trapped in a situation he had tried to escape from his all life: with a person who felt familiar, a person he loved and relied on, in the safety of a home, who wanted sex and was going to do what he wanted regardless of what Yashiro had to say. Yashiro desperately tried to control what was happening through usual patterns, making it hurt, asking Doumeki to do from behind, detaching the sex from his emotions, but he couldn’t and for the first time in his life sex was different from what he knew, because while Yashiro had loved his stepfather, his father didn’t love him and he didn’t treat him like Doumeki did. And every lies built around his father’s abuse came to the surface. Including the fact that his father never loved him. Doumeki broke him indeed because he broke through the lies/rules upon which Yashiro had intentionally built his entire personality/safety. And he wasn’t ready for it, he specifically said he didn’t want it, he had known all along, he already knew when men before Doumeki tried to make love to him and when he built a strategy to specifically avoid being confronted with those lies/rules. He didn’t love those men. He did love Doumeki though. But once again Yashiro didn’t have a choice. And he was physically hurt and recovering after being shot and knowing his life was in danger outside of that room. He had just discovered that Doumeki lied about being impotent the previous time he touched him in the car and before that. It was probably the worst timing possible for making love. At some point Yashiro grew resigned and even reciprocated a little, reaching for Doumeki, caressing his face, and he even reassured him before he fell asleep. There were words that Doumeki said that Yoneda didn’t disclose fully, choosing instead to immediately took us in the flashback with Yashiro. I think it is probable that what Doumeki said was something that Yashiro’s father had said and that we are going to confront before the end of the manga. I personally want to know these words more than what Yashiro said while an airplane passed by and Doumeki was unconscious. Morbid maybe on my part.

I have stated that I am not going to make Doumeki a villain here. The point of this analysis is just to see where Doumeki was in terms of maturity. To be continued…

[sals-corner]

Something a lot of people say to justify shipping Aromantic characters with other characters is that "Aromantics can still date", which yes, is true, and I'm glad that people acknowledge that. But I need people to also understand that there are also Aromantics who don't want to date, and that just because an Aromantic may want to date doesn't mean they suddenly act like how an Alloromantic does when seeking a relationship.

To make things even clearer, let me describe what Aromantic/Asexual means.

Aromantic/Asexual: Experiencing little to no romantic/sexual attraction and/or desire, the 'little' refers to having attraction that feels weak, and may also be indistinguishable from feeling it at all, this means that whilst someone could feel some attraction or desire, it doesn't mean that its felt the same way an Alloromantic feels attraction.

So with all that in mind I want to move onto the subject of discussion, Alastor from Hazbin Hotel, who is canonically Asexual AND Aromantic, a lot of the fandom says that it's not confirmed that Alastor is also Aromantic, however his voice actor has actually stated several times that Alastor is Aromantic, and had also done research on the Aromantic community to understand his character better. Throughout the entire show, Alastor has shown to be repulsed and avoidant of anything sexual and romantic. Rosie even calls Alastor an "Ace in the hole", which is a joke about him being Asexual, but because a lot of people don't know the difference between Asexual and Aromantic, especially when watching a show that is so hypersexual, this comment is made to show that Alastor is interested in none of that.

And sure you could argue that maybe you don't want to ship Alastor in a romantic way, maybe in a queerplatonic way, maybe you want to explore his dynamic with Lucifer and have them be in a QPR. But I need you to understand that you can't substitute romance for a qeerplatonic relationship and treat it the same as a romantic relationship, qprs aren't romance lite. And ALSO, not all Aromantics want Queerplatonic relationships either, Aplatonics exist.

Alastor is Asexual, and he's also Aromantic, he is openly romance repulsed, if you are going to ship him with a character, please just treat him like one, show how him being Aroace affects those relationships and what a relationship actually means to him as an Aroace.

[knightobreath]

Ok I gotta know

What’s your thoughts on that one anon (🐝)’s takes

context 1 and context 2

ohohohohhohohoohohohoh. ohohohoh. Well. Basically they're wrong about what headcanons ARE and how they work as a fan created thing. They also definitely need to examine why they feel the way they do about headcanoning characters as having marginalized identities. I wrote a whole essay on trans headcanons specifically under a similar ask and what I said can be easily applied to other aspects of headcanoning characters as minorities (i actually got a lot of the ideology for that essay from discussions of "blackwashing" in fandom)

some other things on what they said (warning: LONG)

My major issues with their thoughts on headcanons can be summed up with the essay i linked. im not going to be going into that stuff as deeply again because we would be here all day, so the rest is just specifics

"but i really hate it when people change pronouns of characters (IVE SEEN PEOPLE USE SHE/HER WHEN REFERING TO SILVER SPOON. LET THE MAN BE A MAN IF HE WANTS TO BE A MAN.)"

Silver Spoon, and other characters for that matter, are quite frankly not real and do not have actual desires or feelings that you can hurt. Also see my essay on trans headcanons.

"but what makes me the most furious is... people making characters autistic. nothing against autism, i understand that, but do you really need to make paper, fan, silver spoon, pen, etc. autistic just because they have specific interests or act... idk, just the way they act?! its just. it doesnt make sense to me."

Bee needs to examine why they feel the way they do about autistic headcanons. A majority of the times characters are being headcanoned as autistic, they're being headcanoned as that be actual neurodivergent people who seem themselves or their autistic friends in these characters or traits.

There are certainly some issues with certain aspects of autistic (or any other disability) headcanons, like infantilization, but Bee's issue seems to be the fact that there are a lot of characters being headcanoned. Which is just not a problem.

"hc's that dont affect story are fine, but ones that completely flip the story or ignore anything confirmed by the employees."

Headcanons are personal thoughts on the story and do not have any bearing on the story or how you interpret the characters. They are a fan creation like fanart or fanfiction.

"EX: "i headcanon that mic and knife are in a relationship!" that completely ignores the fact that some of the pride month art shows that knife is gay. Cakebrunch (official II storyboarder) confirmed that soap and mic are in a relationship."

Cakebrunch is not a writer and does not have any bearing on the written canon of the characters. Just because he works on the show does not mean his headcanons have any bearing on the canon.

"make as many autistic characters you want, yeah! its great to support autism! but you dont have to make every character autistic, okay? (directed towards people that hc lots of characters as autistic)"

Again, the people who are doing this are mostly autistic or otherwise neurodivergent. And they aren't "making" the characters autistic, they're depicting them as such. No harm in that.

Now for the ships ask.

This is less of my domain, as I'm not really a shipper and don't know much about romance and relationship dynamics but I will try.

Also like nothing against people who don't like shipping as a whole, I totally get it. I was in your boat before.

"i absolutely HATE osc ships. half of them are either "oh these characters dislike each other/disliked each other at one point" and the other half is "these two friends should date because theyre friends.""

and that leaves..... characters who haven't interacted?

honestly, if this was between real people that would be really disrespectful.

Except they're not, so it's completely fine. I have a feeling Bee was in an RPF heavy fandom before this one, this and the previous take about pronouns are common discourse points in those.

EX: Fantube. yeah, they tried to raise shimmer together and built bot, but platonic parents exist and CAN THEY JUST BE FRIENDS?! PLEASE?

Like headcanons, ships have no bearing on the canon and in canon they are just friends.

EX: Nickloon. ok, nickels trying to make up for being rude to balloon all throughout season two. but really? they dont have to date just because theyre friends, yknow. imagine someone saying "oh you and your best friend who you only platonicallly love- you should date!" to you. that'd honestly be rude.

They're not real so they can't experience this. Problem solved.

yeah, some ships are confirmed but thats different. EX: Knickle. offical II storyboarder Cakebrunch CONFIRMED theyre in a relationship. thats an official employee of the series saying that a ship is real. not some random person on TikTok saying that TennisGolf is canon because TB is GB's closest ally.

Again with citing Cakebrunch's fan stuff as canon. Interesting how they cited a storyboarder's fan works twice but failed to mention Balloon being arospec as said by a show creator in the nickloon section. While I have my thoughts on word-of-god confirmation, which I will not be getting into here, it is far more canon than any fanwork.

A lot of the rest of this is just confusion about why people ship things. This is different for each ship and each shipper, and if you're ever confused about where a ship came from you can just ask the shipper. There's usually a reason (and depending on who you ask, a whole essay) as to why a ship came about or how it would work. Sometimes though it is just for fun or comedy, and that's not really a bad thing. We're here to enjoy ourselves, after all.

One last thing though,

and dont get me started on those ships that throw certain characters in canon ships (looking at you, metallic salad/metallic salad + mephone shippers.) because like. why? certain characters have established relationships with others, and your just like "ohh well those two are in a relationship, but mic and knife are a cute ship so how about mic + knife + pickle? makes sense!" like. please.

I don't know much on dynamics and specifics (see: not much of a shipper) but from what I have seen of multiships and polyships, all the dynamics and how the characters would all work together is very much thought about.

Also knickle isn't canon and the people shipping knife x mic x pickle are also aware knickle isn't canon. Nobody is thinking of it like that.

Anyways, time for the conclusion.

Bee anon is fundamentally wrong about how fandom works. Headcanons and ships hold no baring on the canon or your interpretation of the canon. Fandom is a place where canon is transformed in fan works for the fan's enjoyment, it is not a place where canon is determined or changed. You can interpret a work however you please, you can even divorce it from fan works entirely if you wish. Bee also has some things they need to think about in regards to why they feel the way they do about queer and autistic headcanons.

Thanks for reading.

[dianthusandhisreds]

Poly twst headcanons: Octavinelle

Relationship dynamics:

Before you barged into their lives, the three of them were already together. In fact, they started dating before enrolling at Night Raven College, but they became official after Azul’s overblot, when the Leech twins saw that not hiding wasn’t enough anymore, that the other needed the “comfort” and “security” of a label.

It was, in fact, at that point, when they sat down in Azul’s office and discussed the nature of their relationship as they noticed new feelings blooming for you. The question now was, how to proceed?

Usually they’d approach the situation like they do with everything else, by squeezing every detail they could about you, finding what were your interests, motivations, tastes in men… However, this wasn’t “everything else”; this was you; a magicless land-dweller that randomly appeared in Twisted Wonderland. This was something important! They couldn’t let their chance slip!

Cue in their chaotic attempts at trying to “seduce” you.

Their flirting style:

Azul will try to persuade you into spending more time at Mostro Lounge, be it by offering you discounts, asking you to taste test a new recipe, to show you the new chairs that got mailed that morning… You get the gist.

He’ll also try his best to look as confident and polished, but sometimes his mask will slip and you’ll get a glimpse of that anxious little octopus who’s desperate for his crush’s attention.

When that happens, don’t comment on it please, he gets enough teasing from the twins; a small break would be appreciated; also, if you showed a bit of interest in his coin collection, he’d be delighted to show it to you.

Jade, on the other hand, is smooth, and eerily elegant; as if he has everything planned out t the detail and knows exactly what buttons to push to get what he wants.

That’s not to say he’ll manipulate you, no; there’s nothing in this world he hates more than a spurious relationship. In fact, to ensure your relationship is authentic as possible, he’ll very much reveal his true colours to you, showing how much of a little shit he can be, teasing you relentlessly.

Don’t worry though, if he sees that he’s crossed a line somehow, he’ll make sure to apologize in the most Jade-like fashion possible; which is to say, giving you space and showing that he understands that what he did was too much.

Note: I don’t think he’s one to directly say sorry; he comes across more as the type to give you space and being more attentive and thoughtful from then on.

Also, be prepared for impromptu mushroom gathering hikes; if you are to become their whole world, he has to show you his favourite places, his mushroom terrarium, the most spectacular routes…

When it comes to Floyd, he acts just as usual. He won’t hide his crush on you or try to act differently; in fact, he’ll be proud to announce it to the whole world by squeezing you tight (not too tight though, don’t worry) and spinning you, peppering your face with kisses and playful nibbles, or showing you his mer form at the pool. He’s very proud of it!

In fact, he’ll probably go on an in-depth tangent on the anti-aging properties of his slime, how strong he is, the fact that he can glow in the dark…

Dating him means of course that you’ll have to deal with his constant mood swings, try not to let it get to you. If he gets annoyed or looks mad at you, he’s probably going through a lot*; talk to him when he feels better.

*I do not mean to excuse mistreatment or hurtful words by saying that one should endure it because the other is hurting, that is not what I’m implying. If someone who is hurting says or does things that make you upset, talk about it, it’s important to establish boundaries between you and other people as well as respecting them.

Displays of affection/love languages

All of them love looking after you, making sure that you don’t lack anything: Have any trouble studying? Azul will take you on study dates so that you feel confident in your skills (in exchange though, you might have to participate in long cuddling sessions with our dear octopus); someone’s giving you trouble? Floyd and Jade will make sure you know how to defend yourself and how to appear more imposing (they’ll even go on an extra mile to make sure those people don’t bother you ever again, isn’t that nice?).

Azul: He’ll send kind of mixed signals; on one hand, he wants to look suave and elegant, someone capable who can take care of you, on the other one though, he wants to be cherished and taken care of. All in all, the poor mer is a bit conflicted on how to act. One thing’s for sure though! He’ll try to cuddle you as much as possible (no, you won’t be able to get up from bed before him, you may try, but it will be impossible), and when cuddling is not possible, he’ll hold your hand or link your fingers together, to feel you close.

He’ll also show you off with pride as if saying “look at them, my incredibly capable partner, look how magnificent they are!”

As said before, Floyd will be very physical when it comes to displays of affection but he’ll also give you random things that reminded him of you. Look at this cool rock I found, it’s so pretty it reminds me of you; or you look like a weird looking fish I saw the other day.

Jade, like his brother, also enjoys giving you things, mostly souvenirs from his little trips or mountain escapades (dried flowers, unique mushrooms, carved wood figures… You name it!); but he also loves hearing you talk. He’ll ask about a topic he knows you’re interested in and watch you go off for hours nodding and smiling. As for physical displays of affection, Jade is more of a private person (like Azul); but like his twin, he’ll playfully nibble you on some occasions as well as teasing you endlessly so it is you who ends up demanding kisses.

*I do not mean to excuse mistreatment or hurtful words by saying that one should endure it because the other is hurting, that is not what I’m implying. If someone who is hurting says or does things that make you upset, talk about it, it’s important to establish boundaries between you and other people as well as respecting them.

[thefirst3chapters]

Rewatched "Introducing Lorelai Planetarium," the one where Rory and Logan end up in a fight over an article Rory wrote and Logan says that Rory is "one of us." There are a lot of interesting discussions on here about whether Logan was justified in saying that, but there's also a lot of context behind what happened.

Some key details:

Rory had an intense day before she went to the party she wrote about. She was initially planning to go to a study group when Lorelai insisted that she go home for dinner that night instead. Then Logan made a surprise visit and invited her to a launch party with his team. Rory went home for dinner, and (surprise!) her parents got married in France while they were in a fairly new relationship that already had Rory somewhat concerned. After all that, she ends up at the party and stands there while someone tells her about all the challenges that have come up in building his luxury island home. Logan introduces Rory to a more down-to-earth journalist who invites her to send him an article about the party.

This launch party was for a project that Logan has been working on and is proud of, so it is significantly insulting when Rory takes a critical stance on the attendees. Even though Rory says that Logan isn't like the other people from this party, he has the self-awareness to acknowledge that he's a "rich trust fund kid," and he doesn't want to be seen as different from them.

Rory has a habit of throwing herself into projects when she is distressed, and she recognizes that is what happened with writing the article.

Logan talks to Rory like he's trying to win an academic debate and convince her that his stance is the most valid, and he has a habit of communicating in this business-like manner in personal relationships. (This is one of the reasons I ship Literati in the long run, because Rory's people-pleasing tendencies and need for stability can lead to her ideas being drowned out by both Dean's and Logan's personalities. Jess of course struggles with communication a lot as a teenager, but he does appear to be the most open to seeing things from Rory's perspective, and even if it takes time, he acts on what he's learned whether he and Rory are together or not.)

Rory doesn't claim to be a member of the working class, but she also says that she isn't living off a "$5 million trust fund." Logan tells her that she "isn't exactly paying rent, either" even though he asked her to move in with him in S6.

After this fight, the last shot is of Logan, who is visibly remorseful.

Rory brings her article to Lucy and Olivia, who think that the article had a "mean" tone. Rory is concerned because she was trying to be humorous and didn't intend to be that critical.

At the end of the day, Logan apologizes and says that he "was way out of line." Rory says that she didn't want to sound as harsh as she did in the article, and they both talk about how they are proud of each other. Rory was already thinking about moving out of the apartment since Logan is moving back to the US, and she decides that it's important to her to have her own place to live. This takes away the power dynamic of Rory living somewhere that is technically Huntzberger-sponsored and is arguably healthiest choice for both of them. A nice feature of S7 is that both Gilmore girls get to have pretty reasonable conversations with their love interests.

Anyway, there is a lot going on beyond the debate over whether Logan was right because Rory doesn't realize how privileged she is and someone needed to tell her or whether Logan was cruel and completely wrong. Besides, this isn't necessarily an either/or question. Personally, I think there is a kernel of truth to Logan's point, but the wealth he has access to is on an entirely different level from what even Richard and Emily have, and Rory spent most of her childhood in a working-class home before she benefitted financially from her grandparents. Logan might not know all that much about Rory's childhood because one of the themes of their relationship is mutual escapism. It's been brought up before that this dynamic is highlighted when he doesn't know that it's Rory's birthday in S6 and doesn't quite understand how important the plan of going to Atlantic City with Lorelai was to Rory. It's not a condemnation of Logan as a character, but it shows that Rory leaves part of herself behind, intentionally or not, when she's in the high society world. It could be (and is) argued that this is solely a side effect of Rory growing up and discovering new interests, but the narrative doesn't appear to frame it this way. When Rory retreats from her involvement with wealth, she is usually portrayed as being more fulfilled, but like Lorelai, she'll always be connected to high society at some level. This state of being caught between worlds is a major theme of the whole show.

[viric-dreams]

Going to go on a massive ramble about the absolutely wild dynamic with the Welsh OCs.

It's not very difficult to discern why Jones and Nite are attracted to each other. Nite sees someone who clearly enjoys spending time with him, pays him attention, seems to care about what he's interested in, or at least hearing about it. Moreover, he's a source of stability, a rock where the rest of his life feels like a wild current. He seems to have answers, in a situation where Nite seems to have so few, willing to teach him a language he only half remembers, tell him about a place he has no memories of. Jones, on the other hand admires how passionate Nite is about things. That he'll take a bet out of the blue, or try something completely new just to see what happens. It reminds him of the idealism he once had, back when he wasn't afraid to take risks, before prison had beaten him down. He's a spark in a cave, and that light is infectious, making Jones feel things he hasn't in years.

Nite and Roberts are fundamentally the same person, albeit with a lot of the context missing from the former. Which makes it wild to me how much Roberts and Jones would absolutely hate each other.

Jones came from a middle class merchant family, primarily exporting coal and minerals to England in one of the most populous locations in Wales. He was educated (and radicalised) in England. The fact that he sounds Welsh was a conscious and deliberate decision. His interest in politics, in changing the structures in which they live made him something of the black sheep of his family. Why are they sending all of their resources in one direction? Why are they still following policy set by London, when London's sunken into the earth? Such discussions never got him much further than a handful of heated debates after dinner with his brothers, but as the youngest son he was hardly in a position to affect the family business, so it was mostly overlooked. Nobody in his family knew quite how serious he was until the riot, where he was tried for sedition, and they cast him into the wind without a second thought.

Roberts, on the other hand, grew up working class in a village where the only industry was the mines. Its inhabitants were mostly homogeneous, save for the English managers. Unlike Jones' belief that the system can and should be changed, Roberts only saw an out in joining that seemingly-unchangeable system and trying to get the best life he's able. When his father died prematurely of a respiratory infection from the work in the mines, Roberts could only see a dark and bleak future ahead of him, and ran.

Of course the two of them would fight. From Roberts’ perspective, he had no future and no choice without abandoning everything Welsh about himself. He’d always be seen as a second class citizen, particularly because of his working class background in a village whose only jobs promise an early and miserable death. Meanwhile Jones had money. In fact, he got his money by taking those resources that people like Roberts’ father died extracting and shipping it to England. And Jones can go and put on an accent and act like he’s a patriot, but to Roberts he’ll never experience the actual consequences of that discrimination. He's shielded by his money and class.

Meanwhile, Jones sees a man who would abandon everything, including his own family in their moment of greatest need, who would contort and mutilate himself to fit into the standards that would grant him the most personal power (until the moment it no longer does), who would lick the boots of the very people Jones had once destroyed his entire life fighting.

What I'm saying is that the second anything about Jones not knowing what actual consequences are comes out of Roberts' mouth he's getting a fist to the face, and this will devolve into an all out brawl.

[doberbutts]

Completely independently of Baldur's let me say I sincerely appreciate your thorough analysis of possible kinds of sexual dynamics Astarion might have. Both as someone who finds sexual dynamics (when applicable) fascinating parts of a person's life and a great storytelling device, and as someone who feels like - just like many other things the internet took and ran away with - get flattened into an almost meme-like shallow quality.

Would love to hear more of those kinds of in depth, character driven explorations of the topic in general, from as many people and as many viewpoints as possible. Hope you don't mind the burst of enthusiasm, it's a topic I have genuine interest in but find hard to discuss, especially in a serious context.

Oh, thank you! I don't get into details here but whenever I write anything for any fandom it's usually based in my interests and also in what I like to experience and what I have experienced and various fantasies of mine. So I'm mostly just drawing from real life experiences with other men who are attracted to men. Whether that is as friends, or as lovers.

And like. I get it. It's easy in this case to reach for the most stereotypical and that may even have been the devs' plan from the start. But my tav Panic is more of a side (someone who is largely uninterested in penetrative sex, who may still participate anyway because it does feel good and makes his partner happy, but is more willing to explore other types of sexual pleasure) and also greyace/demi with fairly low libido, which means the known characterization of Astarion needs a bit of adjusting because it's not as simple as "does he top or bottom".

But also because yes, Astarion is fairly gnc in his personality and body language and vocal tone, but he's also still very much a man, and he is pushy and bratty and snarky and a bit of a control freak regardless of ascension path and honestly? He could do either, or neither, or both. With Panic they switch often depending on mood and body cooperation, since many times Panic's reaction to offered sex is "oh, sure, if you want" because he doesn't value the act as much as the fact that he can experience it with someone he very much likes being around. So mentally he has a little more freedom to be, well, whatever works for the tone.

[strawberrybananasblog]

questions

hi

i'm antiship, almost pro para/paraneutral, anti c but i have many questions about those things and i was wondering if someone could answer these for me..in comments/asks i suppose, or dms if you feel like letting me annoy you with additional ones - though these are rather nsfw so no minors would be a disclaimer here, im an adult myself...

im not sure if im comfortable with rbs on this, because of overwhelming amounts of notifs i usually get with rb-based interactions.

english isnt my native language, some things might be worded badly. and of course cw for nsfw, SA, discussion of pxrn, common discourse topics in both communities(from anti side), general triggers. and again, since im anti/paraneutral, I will say things that might tick you off, and i'm not sure how to juggle with it - i'm using examples, stances, and personal thoughts to be able to get more clearer examples, stances and personal thoughts in reply, if that makes sense.

FYI i know those things are different and not directly connected, you can be proship and not propara vice versa.

proship:

fiction isn't reality, though i've been of the belief that it can affect it. Such as effects of porn on violence or worse during sex; The brain not seeing difference from fabrication/reality itself; desensitizing et al... which is half the reason I'm antiship, and i wanted to know if there are any counter arguments to that be it studies or something you'd just want to ramble on?

personal experience question: why are people proship? what interests them in this kind of fiction? dynamics?

is there any misconceptions or something alike you see from the general public when it comes to proship? be it from anti, pro, or clueless people

are there any scientific studies you'd like to share that in general talk about the usage of taboo in fiction or morbid media?

propara:

when it comes to paraphilias, are they something that just..happen to ya? random attraction that isn't happening by will, be it mental illness (paraphilic disorder) or not (just paraphilic)? I know about attraction=/= action, but the inner details of what a paraphilia is itself sometimes confuses me or maybe the research isn't that good about it for me to find info on it.

this is something i have trouble being 100 supportive on - how does usage of fiction or fantasy help, or prevent harm when it comes to paraphilias? such as for ex. usage of fantasy or realistic toys if one has one of The Big 3 paraphilias, etc. Though of course there are More paraphilias associated with attraction to Harmful things if acted upon but I hope yk what I mean

whats complex consent?

is there any misconceptions or something alike you see from the general public when it comes to paraphilias? be it from anti, pro, or clueless people

are there any scientific studies you'd like to share that in general talk about paraphilias, how they are coped with, and other stuff alike?

silly ramble ended with another question:

personally, some of my lack of support for bits of both of those things has to do with my personal view of morality, and discomfort.

raised with a high sense of morality + unfortunate experiences/trauma leading to sour feelings about some communties (proship et al) also played into it. in general, since i was a tween i was around people who said if you like fictional xyz, then you're xyzphile (-phile term used wrong too, meant someone who is willingly attracted/seeks out attraction to xyz and/or attempt at sexually offending them) so that also lead to me just following the flow. though as of right now i feel there is still a difference.

Like, yes, this person likes fictional morbid content, but it does not mean that that interest is sexual, and even if it is it does not mean they will commit a crime of those morbid styles in real life. Its just that that interest is....problematic, i guess. so question

While I still believe that being attracted to fictional likeness of something morbid to be a tad problematic on its own, even if the person doesn't do much or think much about the IRL counterpart, i want to know if there are counter arguments to that too?

I see that a lot of my personal feelings about this are "kinda weird, kinda not into excusing it as just fiction" i guess i still want to know or read more of the Pro argument variation of this stance? i think im repeating myself

I hope all of that made sense despite being rambly, thanks for any responses

[comicaurora]

Question, from one aspiring writer to another: how do you manage to maintain the drive to keep writing and how do you not lose interest in what you've created before it's done? Asking because I need advice.

Tricky question. I don't think it has a single answer.

For me personally, there are a few things that buoy up my enthusiasm:

Rabbit Holes - random deep-dives into topics I find incredibly interesting. Because I have so many outlets for my rants about highly specific cool things, I don't need to stifle any random hyperfixations because almost all of them can be turned into scripts or worldbuilding concepts. If I feel the enthusiasm strike, I chase it down as far as I can and take as many notes as possible along the way. However, these things work like lightning strikes and I can't just get randomly super interested in any one thing. Almost all of my longform videos start out as these.

Comedic Reframing - the bread and butter of the channel and the lifehack that let my poor brain actually focus on extremely long and boring books through college. It's easier for me to retain information and enthusiasm if I can find humor in what I'm dealing with on a smaller scale. When working on illustrating videos, for instance, the way I avoid burning out on individual frames is by making sure they have witty dialogue or fun character moments, because I genuinely enjoy drawing those a lot more than just "character moves into position" or "scene change" shots. Same goes for the comic - the more dynamic or interesting the pose, the more interesting the panel is to draw and the easier it is for me to stay jazzed.

Audience Feedback - I feel like this part is simultaneously understated and overstated in different ways. Creating art solely for the accolades it might garner is seen as generally both gauche and inefficient - it'll turn into an existentially draining losing battle like all pursuit of fame for fame's sake does - but any writer or artist will tell you that people losing their minds over their art is the number one way to guarantee they want to make more art. When drawing the comic, even when I'm lower energy, I'll often think to myself "oh man, they're gonna be yelling about this panel" and that'll help give me a boost. Early on in the comic I read through the discord discussions almost every day, but now I'm mostly sustained just from people yelling in my askbox.

Letting The Characters Run Wild - I've mentioned this elsewhere, but one of the most fun parts of writing for me is when the characters kinda tap me on the shoulder and say "hey boss, I really wanna do this". Their character-moment is almost always spicier, more complicated and more interesting than whatever plot-serving guideline it's replacing. Making the characters act as automatons that solely move the plot forward is less interesting for me as a writer than turning them loose and seeing the havoc they cause. Before I ever put pen to paper for this story, half my fun would just be playing out extremely fraught conversations and encounters between characters - no script, no plan, just "here's the premise and GO." Lots of stories start out as daydreams, and daydreams are like the purest form of energizing creation, existing only for the joy of the creator and thus flowing almost effortlessly; I think it's important to retain the heart of that when the daydreams start being set down on paper. If it's not a little self-indulgent it's not gonna be too much fun, and sometimes all it takes is letting the characters do the wild thing with consequences you haven't fully worked out yet.

In my experience, the thing I enjoy most as a creator is solving puzzles. I have more fun writing my story when I only mostly know where it's going, and I have to work out the most interesting consequences to my characters' unexpected actions. I have more fun drawing out a joke if the punchline didn't even occur to me before I started the frame, because the idea is fresh and fun and hasn't gone stale from sitting in my head too long. And my enthusiasm for my older work is reinvigorated when I see how other people respond to it, because it lets me almost see my own work through fresh eyes, which is a rare treat for any creator.

And when I get really worn down, I treat that like a sign that something needs readjusting. I don't force it when I'm worn out or can't bear to look at my tablet - I step back, take a break, take a walk, indulge in Floor Time, watch a movie, buy a coffee, do something that isn't trying to floor the accelerator when I'm stuck in a creative snowdrift. Sometimes that means putting a project down for months. Sometimes that means realizing I wouldn't actually be able to make a project happen because it'd be draining my will to live the whole time.

I sometimes use the metaphor that a creator's mind is like a garden. Its works need to be cultivated, but sometimes they also need to be left alone, or maybe the soil needs to be actively left fallow for a while. It may look like the project isn't doing anything, when in actuality it's spreading its roots and developing a much more solid foundation where you can't see it. Maybe two concepts cross-pollinate in an unexpected way and you get a new third thing to cultivate. But the most important part of this metaphor is that the well-being of every individual thing growing in the garden is heavily dependent on the heart of the garden overall. If you aren't doing okay, your art isn't going to be okay either. If it's feeling like a fruitless and nothing is growing, you might just need rain. Or nitrogen-fixers.