#but really id love to be friends i promise i am normal and not an eldritch cryptid like being (questionable)

[ickmick]

*ive had to edit this post about 4 times already, sorry for scuff idk if its fixed yet??

hey tumblr dot com heres some magnus archives (literally just jon) content i posted to twitter but with significantly less rambling (its a mess over there... i am trying to make tma enjoyer friends but am also bad at doing such and have resorted to rambling) /hj /silly

currently drawing jon as i see him in each season/arc so yeah... the other 2 things were me figuring out how i wanna draw him generally (im still not 100% sure)

rambles and outfit inspo under the cut!

i finished the podcast a mere 3 days ago after finally getting back to it after like a year or something, and i will never be the same /hj

im already considering listening a 2nd time, both to take notes for behaviors n shit but also just to like- return to it in full lol

anyways heres the photos from pinterest im using as inspo for that first s1 outfit (button up with a tie under a green sweater vesr tucked into black slacks with a some kinda built in belt... bro probably go those oxfords too what a loser /aff /silly

ive already decided hes going to wear a long skirt around *checks notes* probably s3, post police warrant or whatever you want to call that whole arc (i say, knowing full well what to call it)

the rest of the outfits will be a silly surprise for now but yes. thrive knowing he will be put in a lovely skirt and will grow out his curly hair and be ever so queer (its 2am im just saying words atp)

im now going to sleep, so goodnight and feel extremely free to message me if you wanna ramble about tma or jon or something of that sort, i have no friends who have listened to tma as far as im aware XD

[modelbus]

Ahem- hey- uh- I-

…NOW I FEEL LIKE TOMMY TUBBO WILBUR AND RANBOO IN PART TWO- HELP FFJYTFJHTYTFTH

SOOOOO- HI THERE ITS ME ✨🌌🌙 ANNON, THE DISAPPEARING ANNON- LOOK- I-

OKAY SO EXPLANATION TIME, I HONESTLY THOUGHT MY CRAPPY REQUEST WOULD BE IGNORED- I ALSO HAVE NOT BEEN ON TUMBLR SINCE LIKE A WEEK AFTER I SENT IT- I COME BACK TO READ SOME STUFF FROM OUR GOOD OLD LORD AND SAVIOR MODEL, TO SEE; ONE IT WAS RECENTLY YA BIRTHDAY! (Happy late birthday-) AND TWO.. MY REQUEST WAS TURNED INTO A MASTER PEICE OF AGES WITH TWO WHOLE PARTS, I APPARENTLY HELPED GET YOU OUT OF A WRITING SLUM- AND PEOPLE ACTUALLY REALLY LIKED MY CRUMMY IDEA (Thanks to your POGGERS writing)

so basically- THANK YOU ‘O GREAT MODEL FOR HEARING MY PLEA AND DELIVERING GREATNESS!!!

also I am gonna try and be more active on tumblr now so like- yey.

ALSO ALSO, I may sometimes send in requests of my silly little ideas cuz like chaos cut fed my soul and I am now the ✨ H a p p e h ✨

ALSO ALSO ALSO, part three of chaos cut???, we are at home and get messages asking like “Yo we good now? You forgive us for being assholes??” and we say smth like “you gonna respond to my messages? Then sure” some kind of tweet is made could be as vague as “shes gonna be in videos again yayyy” or could be the group admitting to what happened?? *eyes* maybe responses from other friends?? Ofc that is a suggestion for if you decide to further continue.

wether you decide to continue it or not or you decide to use this or not, thank you so much, chaos cut was all I wanted it to be and more.

I’M BACK BABYYY!!

-All the love, ✨🌌🌙 Annon.

You live!! And I’d love to receive more of your amazing little ideas :) honestly, I’d write 500 parts of Cut Chaos

I probably formatted this weird because of the messages part and the Twitter part but Oh Well.

Pairing(s): cc!Ranboo, cc!Tubbo, cc!Wilbur and cc!Tommy x Fem!Reader (Platonic)

Cut Chaos Part 3

The day you spent with Ranboo, Tubbo, Wilbur, and Tommy after the store might’ve been the best day you’ve ever had. You’re finally able to breathe again, to laugh again. Smiling had started drifting away from you, but suddenly you were smiling so hard your cheeks hurt.

You almost don’t go home. It’s tempting to stay with Ranboo when he offers up one of their many spare bedrooms (and you do mean many), but you decline. Heading back home, closing the door to your bedroom is easier than it’s ever been. Just living is easier than it used to be.

Collapsing onto your bed, it only takes you a second before you start grinning like an idiot to yourself. Things are back to normal, back to how they should be. Sure, you could still be mad at them for what happened, but you were tired of not being around them. Tired of people being pissed off.

It takes you a full three minutes before you roll onto your side and unlock your phone with Face ID. There’s a plethora of notifications waiting for you, from a group chat that you thought was a ghost town. It makes you grin all over again.

Wilbur so we’re all good now?

Tommy yeah, u forgive us for being assholes??

Tubbo Becuase we r super sorry

You You guys gonna respond to my messages from now on?

Ranboo I promise on Tommy’s life

You Then yeah

Tommy HEY

Laughing to yourself, you swipe out of messages to open Twitter and scroll on it. You aren’t afraid to open it, not like you used to be. Random tweets would remind you of what you lost, of the various people confused why you lost it, but now you’re just giddy. Overjoyed.

Part of you wanted to announce the plans you made with Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo. Scream from the (metaphorical) rooftops of Twitter that you were back. The chaos squad was back.

But, as it turns out, Tommy beat you to it. Of course he did, he can’t keep his mouth shut for the life of him. In a loving way, of course.

tommyinnit ﹫Tommyaltinnit guess who is BACK in the NEW VLOG

|_ You ﹫Yourusername me BITCHES

|_ Nia ﹫randomfanpersondontworry OMG OMG OMG NO WAY !!! CHAOS SQUAD ISNT DEAD FUCK ALL OF YOU IM WINNING TODAY

You grin, scrolling through the replies to Tommy’s tweet—including Tubbo and Ranboo’s—then realize the group name is trending. With wide eyes, you switch what you’re scrolling through to read the new tweets.

Annon ﹫StarStarMoon Anyone know what happened between the chaos squad??? Like they all drop her and now she’s back?? Something definitely happened…

|_ Real Person ﹫RealpersonIcreated THIS! Why did nobody talk about it. I wanna know fr fr

|_ Max ﹫Myfriendsnameisbeingused I think they all dropped her over those rumors ages ago. Makes sense to me tbh

|_ Charlie ﹫Myotherfriendsnameisbeingused Totally on her side if something did happen honestly lmao

Oh, fuck. You hesitate, not sure what to do, then ignore the tweet and its replies. Things were good, you didn’t need to dwell on when they were bad. Let people be people and let them speculate all they want.

This was your life and your happiness. Returned, at last.

[chososchalupa]

HII is it alr to ask for jealous ranpo x reader😭😭

Basically the reader has this friend and calls them "sweetheart" and stuff (like how alastor treats charlie idk if you watched that) and steals her attention, love you🔥

ofc! sorry this took so long to get to, i've had the worst writers block,, ilysm! Hope you enjoy <3

Pleasure to meet you

contents,, F!Reader x Ranpo, slightly toxic!Ranpo, splash of Hazbin Hotel references (watch it, its so good), fluffy ending <3 not proofread ofc

WC- 821

You sat in a booth at your favorite cafe listening to your boyfriend and coworkers laugh and talk loudly, nothing was out of the ordinary until you heard your name being called from a familiar voice. You spun your head around to see an old friend from your previous job giving you a bright smile. You quickly got up from your spot and ran over to wrap your arms around him.

“How have you been, dear?” He asked, wrapping his arms tightly around you.

“I’ve been great! This new job is really fun. I’ve made tons of friends and even-”

“A boyfriend, I see” He laughed, staring over your shoulder.

You looked over to see Ranpo glaring intensely at the two of you. You gave him a small smile before turning back around. 

“He can get a little jealous sometimes. Come on, I’ll introduce you” You smiled, dragging him with you back to your table. “This is Dazai, Yosano and last but certainly not least, this is my boyfriend, Ranpo” 

Your friend gave a smile to everyone before going to shake Ranpos hand, “Pleasure to meet you”

Ranpo gave a fake smile, “Quite”

Your friend gave a small chuckle before looking back to you, “I must get going now but we should get together if you’re free this evening?”

You agreed and gave another small hug before waving goodbye and sitting back in your seat besides Ranpo.

“Well he seems pleasant” Dazai smiled

“Oh yeah. He seems great” Ranpo muttered, his words dripping with sarcasm.

You rolled your eyes at his pettiness before excusing yourself, “I have to get back to the office. Kunikida has been blowing up my phone about an unfinished report.” 

・❥・

You assumed Ranpo would be back to normal by the time he made his way back to the office, but you were incredibly mistaken. Despite his fake smiles, he would barely speak a word to you.

“Did I do something wrong?” You asked, stepping into the elevator beside him at the end of the day.

“No” He responded, keeping his responses as short as possible. 

The walk home was silent, the only sounds being your soft footsteps and Ranpo sighing, clearly trying to show he was upset without actually saying it.

Once you both were inside your home, you spun around to look up at him with your arms crossed.

“Yes?” He asked, his emerald eyes staring down at you.

“Why do you keep pouting? Ever since I saw my old friend you’ve been acting jealous!”

“Did you ever think maybe I am jealous?” He asked, blinking slowly.

Your eyes widened, “Of what?!”

“I don’t like him” He responded, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Why?”

“He’s tall, he’s handsome. You clearly enjoy being around him. I just don’t want him to take you from me and he’s trying to!” Ranpo explained, his bottom lip jutting out in a small pout as he finished speaking. 

“He’s certainly not trying to take me from you, my love. I promise”

“Yeah? And how do I know that?”

“Because Ranpo, He-” You started but were instantly cut off by your cell phone ringing. 

Ranpo looked down at the caller ID before scoffing, “Of course” he sighed, seeing your friend from earlier calling.

You glared at him before answering the phone on speaker,

“Hello, darling!” He started, causing Ranpo to glare towards your phone. “I unfortunately have to cancel our plans tonight, something has come up with work” You glanced up to your boyfriend, seeing a small smile form on his lips, “But I would love to invite you and Ranpo over for tea this week. My partner and I would love to have you”

You watched as the color drained from Ranpo’s face, causing you to let out a small giggle, “We would love to! I miss both of you”

“Wonderful! I will message you when we have a set time. It was lovely seeing you today” 

You quickly finished up your conversation, hanging up the phone and glancing back towards Ranpo.

“As I was saying, he already has a partner. And even if he didn’t, I will only ever love you. You make me happier than any person on this earth” You smiled, hugging your boyfriend tightly as he sighed. 

“I’m sorry I was wrong. I didn’t mean to get so jealous” He spoke, pulling you tighter to his chest.

“You were what? Could you say that again?” 

“No.” He replied with a small laugh. “Can we go cuddle?”

“Of course,” You smiled, pulling away from the hug. “I’ll get snacks, Go put on a movie”

Ranpos eyes lit up, “I love you so much” He spoke, kissing your forehead before turning towards the living room to put on a movie. 

You smiled as you watched him walk away, you felt so lucky to have him, even if he was an idiot sometimes.

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen, i just followed you and this is really random but ive seen some of your posts helping younger people and it really struck a cord and i need to just let the words fall out of me.

ive been having issues with my girlfriend she cheated on me but this situation is very complicated and we're both fucked up people but i know she still loves me and i really love her. but my anxiety and our lack of communication is really bad right now and im so worried she might not love me the same anymore

ontop of this im 18 and for the past id say 5ish years my mental health and family life has been getting worse, getting diagnosis is hard especially with mentally ill and just overall bad parents that somehow dont understand or believe. i know im deppresed and have been i have anxiety, sever paranoia maybe bpd and bipolar and autism and everything is just so much. now the one person i had is something thats making everything hurt more and i just don't know where to go, im trying to get help but its so slow in this country and i feel so lost and tired i barely eat now and when i do its ether rare or unhealthy and everything is so much i want to collapse.

i hope this isn't to much to randomly send anonymously but you just seem really kind and helpful. thank u for your reply if you do

HI and please accept my apologies for the delay on answering this. I am sorry you are going through so much. My kids are adopted from foster care and I had many kids in my home for up to 5 years who eventually went back home. That is to say I have a lot of experience with mental illness, the systems that treat them, trauma and kids who came from unstable home lives.

At the ripe old age of 18 you have plenty of time to find love and contentment but right now might not be the time. I understand there might be odd circumstances that caused your girlfriend to cheat on you. If you feel betrayed and lost trust that is a feeling that is next to impossible to overcome for people with no comorbidities let alone a teen trying to figure herself out and deal with navigating the broken mental health/care system.

It is actually quite normal for young love to change and get redefined into friendship even when the circumstance are the best. Her cheating on you might very well be a sign that your relationship is in flux and not what you thought it was. A romance that has run its course is not a failure, relationships do not have to last forever to be important and real and worth having had.

It might be scary to think of not being with her, of not having your "one" person that you can count on but I do believe you can get farther working on yourself if you put time and energy into you and not dividing it up between you and her.

There is a lot of precedent set for women to set aside their romance and intimacy in order to be just friends while one or both does some work on herself. Sometimes it is necessary to stay involved for emotional support or financial support, that is just the reality of our world. Living single can be very difficult.

Please consider letting go of the relationship in its current form and putting your energy of yourself. Letting go of the stress of trying to repair what you had with her will remove so much pressure from you and from her that you will feel much more ready to tackle your mental state.

I promise. You are not a failure, she is not "the bad guy" in this story. Take all the wonderful things you shared with her keep those with you when you want a reminder that it loving her was worth your time even if it didn't end like you planned.

Seek mental health help but starting small. A therapist can help you begin to talk through things and often she can help you find additional resources like a medical Dr, public subsidies for insurance or free clinics to assist you in getting medication and mental health support. Most counties have a social services office and those employees are a wealth of information.

[lost-tardis-room]

please tell me all about in the blood (no pressure, i am genuinely interested though!!!!!!)

AHHAHHAHHHHHAAAA YES OKAY THANK YOU ELI

OKAYYYY SO in the blood, doctor who extended universe book, i think it takes place pretty soon after the Silence in the Library arc cos that's mentioned quite a bit, and Donna's husband Lee (who was, i may add, i think going to be canonically trans but they weren't sure how to show that in a split second without it being confusing but he's trans in my heart) from the simulation is on Donna's mind a fair bit so my guess is it's pretty soon after that ANYWAYS, fairly standard doctor who plot, big problem with technology and people on earth and of course it's because Aliens. specifically its that internet trolls are dying and ofc The Internet gets worked up about that, but as more and more people start venting their anger online everyone gets more and more angry and they become hysterical and sometimes die. which obviously is a big problem they have to solve, i won't give away the plot but its fairly average dr who stuff.

BUT. OHH BOY THE CHARACTERSSSSSSSASASSaSSASaSAS i mean i love ten & donna anyways but they are written SO WELL like SOOOO WELL it's SPOT ON and it's so perfect because they do the same things they always do - the doctor is fully prepared to die (well. very painfully regenerate) just as he always does and uhhh actually maybe it's better if i take pictures there was a lot of frantic margin scribbling & underlining hehee

uhm. spoilers below. and very long post

my handwriting is nigh-on-illegible here i know but it says 'she remembers the Arachna-things [one google search later - Racnoss] from the Runaway Bride she knows he has killed people & that people get killed around him but... [long pause here as i thought of what to write. how do you justify that? greater good?] yeah i can imagine it really is easier to not think about it'.

this is just such an interetsing thing that they couldn't have shown in the show right, you can't show 'she didn't even really like to think about it' visually with the same impact. but like.... yeah. she saw him kill all the racnoss & still travels with him. moral grey areas flawed characters but.... the companions must do some serious mental gymnastics NOT TO MENTIOn the Doctor coping mechanisms or lack thereof.

^^but then there's this!! the hope!! he really can't stand people dying even when he is surrounded by it!! he has to hope!!!

^^ platonic doctordonna moment!!!!! i love them so much heheeee but also Lee.... oughhhhh

^^ SUCH A DOCTOR MOMENT he HAS to carry on for the sake of THE WORLD even when it means Donna is at risk

^^handwriting id - 'see THAT is such a Doctor moment - just like ' 'yeah i knew for ages', lied the Doctor' - he doesn't tell people things b/c he doesn't want to upset them & he hopes that if he doesn't mention it it wont happen. if you see your own grave you have to be buried there etc. & it's maddening for everyone but also kinda tragic'

the doctor was hiding that what Donna thought was going to fix the problem wasnt going to work b/c then she's get upset & angry, which spacey stuff blah blah is whats currently killing people - but Ten (teh Doctor in general) does this A Lot, not saying everything he knows because he thinks it's going to upset/panic/hurt people/

^^ THIS!! he needs his best friend!!! without saying anything & over the phone, Donna can tell!! ajsnjansh i just love them so muchhhh

^^ (they were back in london in present day) the Doctor feels guilty about pulling Donna from her normal, safe life, even though like she wanted to he probably couldn't have said no to that if he tried - and putting her in mortal space danger - but also completely removed from her normal life. she doesn't live like Clara, who fits weeks of time travel in time to show up to work, she's missing out on Normal Life. she's not at home. Sylvia knows she wont be staying for dinner.

sorry a lot of this is kinda depressing BUT i promise you there are joyous bits too! the Doctor is canonically a Kate Bush fangirl!!! and donna has to stop him drinking coffee cos he'e hyperactive enough as it is lol. and -

hehe

[riverbeatsaber]

i am so good at media analysis

Image ID and deranged ramblings under the cut:

[Image Description: A chart titled "the Greater Witwicky Polycule," centered on Alex and Dorothy Malto. It has lines to connect many of the characters from the show, and the lines connecting them are labeled with the relationships, real or headcanoned, between the two characters connected. Dorothy and Alex Malto are connected with a line labeled "Married" with a heart emoji. Alex Malto is connected to Mandroid and Bumblebee. The line from Alex to Mandroid is labeled "and how do you two know each other?" (exes), and the line from Alex to Bumblebee is labeled "cute little gay crush," and is a one-way-arrow from Alex to Bumblebee. Bumblebee is connected to Breakdown with a line labeled "definitely something going on here." There is a gay pride flag emoji after it. Breakdown is connected to Knockout with a line labeled "boyfreidns?" The misspelling is intentional. Knockout's box on the chart is labeled "(please please please pleas epleae)." This is also intentionally misspelled. Dorothy Malto is connected to Megatron with a line labeled "Partners." Megatron is connected to Starscream with a line labeled "oh god.", and to Soundwave with a line labled "bitter exes" with a broken heart emoji. Megatron is connected to Optimus Prime with a line labeled "previously divorced (working things out)" with a rainbow emoji, a black heart emoji, a hands-forming-a-heart emoji, a robot emoji, and a sparkly heart emoji. Optimus Prime is connected to Elita-1 with a line labeled "can't explain it but. theyre lesbians" with a red heart emoji, a trans pride flag emoji, a face-with-three-hearts emoji, an emoji of a car facing right, an emoji of a truck facing left, and a two-hearts emoji. The car and the truck are positioned to look like they are kissing. End image description]

some context:

this was a collaboration between me and my older brother who got me into transformers. we're so normal about this i promise. quote from him: "is some of what's in the show just ship bait? perhaps. but they expected to catch a fish and not a kraken. and boy oh boy i am pulling this boat down with me"

"Greater Witwicky Polycule" is from the memes about the "Greater Seattle Polycule"

Dot and Megatron are referred to in the show as partners. headcanon they're in a qpr type thing. amica endurae

I know Knockout isn't technically in Earthspark. but. hear me out. He Could Be

Optimus Prime gets so many emojis because he would like them. i chose kinda randomly though. except i did go omg this truck emoji is facing the other way... trucks kissing... love wins

Alex has a celebrity crush except the celebrity is living in his house and is friends with him

Bumblebee and Breakdown in the show are described as "really close friends. like brothers" and we all know what that means don't we. something lgbt is going on here

why are Optimus Prime and Elita-1 labeled as lesbians? yuri is when theres themes and motifs. "you will never understand a warrior's bond" sorta situation

[slaythespire]

im sorry my tumblr followers who dont know me im mad rn, im just rambling mad under a readmore again thanksss

listen its not that i need to be dating someone im just chilling. in fact rn i would not want to date anyone.

but i HATEEEE HATE seeing people say shit like "You dont need anyone, you should learn to be happy without someone else in ur life! why do you need someone else! just be happy without that!" well damn sue me for wanting someone to deeply love me who i deeply love back!! why is that such a bad thing to want!! obviously if you cant function without being in a relationship that's not good, but people always say that shit to someone going "i feel unlovable and like no one will ever want me" and it feels so meanspirted!! damn!!

its been like almost a year since i got ghosted and i know its annoying to hear people complain abt the same thing over and over again. but its just HARD bcus i feel stupid, and used. i really thought my ex was like, THE person, we talked abt getting married and how we'd combine our last names, abt moving in together, supported each other through everything. when i was in inpatient this person called me almost everyday i was there to say hi and check in on me. i thought my future involved them and then they just dropped me without even an explanation. never in a million billion years did i think that would happen (outside of my bad brain telling me it would, which, well i was right so LOL) bcus they were my best friend of 8 years!!

and its scary bcus it makes me think there must be something wrong with me/"how could anyone ever love me when even the person who dated me for 6 years didnt". and people always say things like "you haven't met everyone who will care about you yet" but what if i have, and my one chance at having a relationship i was so happy in was ruined bcus the other person is a self-obsessed asshole who lied to my face abt so much for who KNOWS what reason. WHATEVER.

i feel like when i make posts like this i come off as an insane person in the "no wonder they broke up with you" way, but i promise im actually normal ive just been very emotionally ripped to shreds by a very bad breakup. barely a breakup bcus it was over TWITTER DM. whatever im just gonna be one of those people that obsesses over fictional characters so much i think were in a relationship.

i just rlly rlly wonder what their reasoning for doing this to me was and if they feel bad abt it. or if they think its funny, or if they just dont care. i also wonder if they think they can just message me one day and apologize and think itll be okay (i dont think this will happen, i used to but i dont anymore)

i lean towards they just dont care, i doubt they even think about what they did lol. i mean i HOPE they feel bad, but i dont think thats true. id be shocked if i ever heard from them again which is just, crazy. 8 years of knowing someone and it ends like that through no fault of your own. i wish i had a screenshot of the break up dm id post it in a heartbeat so anyone who actually read this far would feel whiplash like i do. (filled to the brim with "i love you so much" "i feel horrible for hurting you and i hate that im doing it" "i really care about you" "i hope you stay in my life bcus youre my best friend").

and it makes me really sad bcus OFC we would have stayed friends, i loved them so much that while id be sad abt breaking up i would still want them in my life. (WE EVEN TALKED ABT HOW IF WE BROKE UP WE ALWAYS THOUGHT WE'D STAY FRIENDS). but even in my fantasy world where they reach out after a few years all apologetic and guilty i just couldnt do it anymore.

one more but i don't understand what would compel someone to say all that knowing theyre lying and dont give a fuck about you, like it only comes off as evil and fucked up and cruel to me, so how else am i supposed to take that.

[team-council-two]

So how is Spy a special case?

*is excited*

(for context, in a previous post, i added the tags " i could write an entire book on how unfamiliar french people in medias seem to actual french people, spy is an odd case; ask me about him")

aiight, you know what you signed up for, get ready for one hell of a presentation, ft terminal verbosis frenchosis ! this will be in three parts, of course, because three is a good number and the mere concept of having 3 parts should give you all a headache (look ray i didnt add a n this time)

wait shit im not even sure mistral is a spy, hold on,

aw fck thats for real ones

anyways femme fatale trope, next question

HA gotcha, you didnt think id let yall go with just one sentence huh ? so. our fella is french. our fella is a spy. our fella is a huge piece of shit. extremely common, alright ? outright overused archetype. eeeexcept that the combo's execution here REALLY stands out. how so ?

well, let me ask you a quick question. do you think the fact that he is french, and the fact that he is an evil bastard, and the fact that he is a spy are linked ?

well ill answer that for you. nope. valve treated these three traits remarkably separately. the way he speaks french in game is relatively polite, and the insults he throws around are, i checked, exclusively in english. he is surprisingly free of the usual way medias make "being evil" and "being french" be a hand in hand thing, and similarly free of the one that seems to indicate that Because you are french Of Course you are a spy. in other words, rather than being a walking glamour stereotype of sorts or an obnoxious asshole the likes of which we have seen hundreds of, this is a godawful guy that also happens to be a french snob, and that also happens to be a spy.

compare with, say, our lady mistral above who has a shitton of taunts in french, who embraces that whole sexy lady deal, deliberately plays on it and so on. difference is miles.

and now if you followed you did catch i said french snob rather than just french, there is a reason behind this, so allow me to get on part 2, which i promise will be WAY more verbose-

so

im not sure why but american medias love to have peppy rich french fashionistas in their shit. theyre cute, hyper, sheltered as fuck, and the entire deal is weird bc these people seem like aliens to actual french people who tend to care about fashion in pretty normal amounts and definitely do not have that many grands to bust into it. *yes* we pride ourselves in having a pretty neat fashion industry, but in a similar way as the american and the german boast about their cars. we are NOT obsessed with it okay. anyways, sometimes writers have the decency of making these characters cunts, but not always. but what doesnt vary is the trope seems to play out like ah yes, your average french- which is fucking baffling. and is the part taking us aback.

see, we HAVE the evil breed of those characters too in our shit. comedic shit, to be precise. a rundown of our humor is it often is situational humor - stupid outlandish situations with equally stupid archetypal characters, their personality equally pushed into the absurd, all of that more often than not thinly veiling some pretty heavy social commentary. in other words, you often laugh at the evil cop/rich factory/big restaurant owner/politician/etc getting karma'd in mind boggingly bizzare and hilarious ways, while clearly showing them as evil for mistreating subordinates (and often getting shit for it sooner or later) and as simpering cowards towards literally anyone who has any kind of superior position to them whatsoever.

in other words, context matters. where in american shit they are often allies or friends or comedic relief of sorts through being french/annoying or just villains, in french shit they more often than not are *targets* of some kind of events and shown to be ridiculous through other means than their obsession for fashion or whatever.

am i saying that valve did this ?

...yeah. thats a very bold statement, but yes. i mean, cmon,

see, i am overall basing this on the fact that ingame spy is so fucking similar to many, many, many of Louis de Funès' roles, and even his face, it outright had me searching around the wiki for some kind, any kind of claim of inspiration from valve-

he reads exactly as one of them ! rich cunt obsessed with money, constantly mocking people, constantly complaining about everything ever, fakely polite, not opposed to doing vile acts to have his way, extremely menacing face, *the same fucking laugh*, and the fact that characters played by this guy have remarkably often have what we call a couillon de fils, a dumbfuck of a loser ass son, if you will.

the only differences really are from comic spy, who reads far less like this. he's still well executed mind you, but he (especially @miss pauling) reads as far kinder than this dude's characters usually are, and he is a bit more... stretched, both physically and in behaviour, than the actor's goblin build and attitude, as game spy seems to be unable to stand straight whereas the comic one seems to have no difficulty with this, and the similar range of expressiveness that also ports 1:1 is game exclusive as well. and finally, comic spy also was not given the occasion to cuss people out, so.

anyways my point mostly amounts to, if you manage to make french people think of an emblematic actor beloved by many, rather than just make us go through the usual whiplash of "how is that a normal french person to american people ???", you are probably doing something right.

in addition to this wall of text, i am begging you all to watch this, it should help understand what i meant by our breed of humor, and what i mean by "spy could have been played by this dude no problem"

now, onto part 3,

well once you said he is a pathetic wet cat man you summed it up really.

for all the class he has, for all the money he has, for all the. everything ? he still is pathetic. he still is simply seen as a mean as fuck loser either trying to drown his failures as a father with expensive tastes, or simply amoral and unsympathetic because of his concerns being about money rather than about humans. he still is headcanoned as stinking by most of the fandom. nobody respects the fucken spy. he comes across as haughty and it only makes people want to shit on him some more.

really, it is pretty much everything I explained in the two points above. the patheticness helps with making it so he is not a stereotype, and it helps making it clear he is supposed to be representative of rich pretentious cunts rather than of french people.

so, he is a huge bitch, and ironically, this makes him a blorbo to us, bc who doesnt love a good ole flawed character ?

his whole french deal is not shown as eccentric or what makes him a loser but just a coincidence, in a sense. and you'd be surprised by how much of a breath of fresh air this is to french people. shitty in a realistic way rather than a made up clown, and in a way we can recognize in our own medias. it also is neat from the, err, fandom pov ? because you get to develop his frenchness and assholeness and spyness separately, since they are elements implemented for the sake of themselves rather than as a stereotypical whole. you get to have *fun* with him.

SO i think i ran out of things to blabber about. hope it makes sense tho. but i guess it really is about. not *quite* representation because we do not see ourselves in spy, of course, but way more about our culture not being bastardized and being turned into a joke about eccentrics at best, or hatred about seductive women and effeminate/homosexual men at worst, + having a fresh execution on tropes that else usually would get our eyes rolling.

alpha, over and out

[dedbuny]

hi :) im bunny and im a chronic maladaptive daydreamer :)

ive been doing it for about eight years now and im curious to see how many others do it too !

my (only moderately depressing) maladaptive daydreaming story/timeline is below the cut, if that interests u at all :) id love to hear urs as well in the notes !

my first memory of maladaptive daydreaming (aside from playing house and stuff as a kid) was in 2014 when i was in sixth grade. my friend and i would pretend to be certain characters throughout the whole school day, even writing the characters’ names on our schoolwork and calling each other by those names. the most common characters were always sam and dean, which is .. something . sometimes it was the 5sos members. then as the years went by the chosen characters changed depending on my hyperfixation at the time.

in grade eight i had moved on to kpop. this is the worst it gets i promise. mostly the same continued, except this year i realized something revolutionary: i could include myself in the daydream ! so i started pretending i was whatever kpop idol i was interested in on any given day’s friend, every day, for the next five to six years. this is where it became an addiction i guess.

grade nine was more of the same but with some drag race girls sprinkled in. grade ten was more of the same but with some video game characters sprinkled in. as those five to six years went by i continued daydreaming about myself and any chosen person or character i liked, except i realized one other extremely important thing: i could also just make up my own characters…..

so i did . technically the first original character i ever made was in eighth grade, named jacob. as much as i’m now trying to slowly distance myself from the maladaptive daydreaming and all the characters that were born from it, jacob really feels like my friend. they’ve evolved with me every step of the way — they’ve gone through a whole appearance change, their personality has changed, their gender and pronouns have changed, their world views have changed, all alongside my own, so it really does feel like i’ve found a lifelong friend who just gets me. and upon realizing that i’m purposefully creating my own blorbos from my mind to perfectly match my needs and wants and behave exactly like i want them to, i started feeling extremely self conscious about it all.

over the last five to six years i’ve created roughly 23 different characters, all with intertwining relationships and backstories and personalities and interests and styles. it’s been really fun actually, to be able to essentially create an entirely made-up friend group and make up their relationships with each other and watch them all grow. the issue lies in the fact that i’m spending more time imagining i’m them and/or imagining i’m with them than i am actually being in reality.

because all these characters behave in the exact ways i want them to and understand me perfectly inside and out, i’ve become much more easy to irritate. i find myself having a much shorter temper with my friends and family. my ocs know what i’m thinking and always have the perfect answer, because they are me. they know what makes me uncomfortable and avoid doing so, because they are me. they never question anything i say or challenge any of my beliefs, because they are me. in other words , uh oh .

this has all made me extremely paranoid, extremely insecure, extremely anxious and extremely depressed. it’s gotten to the point where i don’t really know who i am anymore, because i don’t really feel like i’m the one who has evolved or grown over the years. i feel like a side character to all the ocs i’ve made who are living my life for me. it feels like all my decisions are made by whoever it is i’m daydreaming as in that moment. i’ve had multiple breakdowns due to remembering that none of this world i’ve built in my head is real, and none of it ever will be. but it all feels unbelievably real. and i feel like if i ever stop i’ll be punched in the face with the consequences of letting what is essentially my imaginary friends control my life for six years.

i’ve thought it might be either evolving into or had initially stemmed from schizophrenia or ocd or did or something similar but i don’t even know anymore. right now it just seems like a combination of having autism, depression, severe anxiety, an extremely vivid imagination, and being chronically lonely.

i truly feel like i’m suffering alone here. i know there are other people who maladaptive daydream but i’ve never heard of anyone who does it like me. if anyone reading this understands what im going through i’d love to hear from you !!!!!

if u got this far into reading, thank u for hearing me out :)

love, bunny (...and jay and marcus and darius and veronica and luca and hiroki and minki and advik and hannah and hanna and nayeon and shauna and joslyn and thomas and christian and jack and claire and marion and peter and frances and oskar and felix and frederick and svante and shaelynn and heather and more)

[whorewithagodcomplex]

sweetheart,

i love ya, but I'm not doing that for the rest of my life, no sir,

everyone knows not to marry into that, and its kinda common sense not to date someone with your type of addiction and just walk away, like we all know its never gonna work if youre constantly making your partner feel like shit because youre always lusting of the things you so desperately want, and yeah you may say that 'your're better, real, youre my love theyre just pictures, theyre just videos, ect) but we all know you wish it was them you could have when your gazing longingly and thirstly at those pictures, you create relationships with all these women, i just happen to be in person version added to the collection, its nasty, and its horrible knowing this will likely never change, cause its 'not that bad' its 'a comfort thing' 'i was alone for so long' and i have to live feeling like im always competing with them, i cant escape them, im so fucking tired of being paranoid that the person i love is going to always be looking at something more appealing, its awful, that constant pit in your stomach everytime hes lookin at a female character a little too closely, or when the girls are everywhere for him, camera roll, most social media, even his wallpapers on all devices, sure theres a photo of you two, sure as a homescreen but its really just a sunset photo and we're hidden in a low corner hidden by apps, and the never paying that close attention to you, you learn as much as you can about him listen to every word he says but doesnt care to know about you, with the exception of major plot points he knows nothing about what you like and why you like it, its either you rarely get a chance to speak, or youre perpetually cut off, or just simply ignored when speaking about yourself, but, he knows everything they say, knows every little detail, their backstories are phenominal and look how hot they are, he wont really say that to you anymore youve shown you dislike, but you know, you always know, so you try your best to be pretty and good enough to be wanted like he wants them, but you never get wanted like that, to be fair you never did, this was the first time someone is showing they love you and want you, but of course if i wasnt wantable before him what makes me wantable now? yknow all his needs are met by them and his ablilty to do so much with them that he feels no need to pay any mind to you beyond the physical and guidance, yeah he loves you, you know that hes shown that, but is it worth the mental and emotional exhaustion it takes to fight for a normal relationship? one where we both feel happy? i know theres no way he isnt miserable too, the contant bickering the anxiety of fucking up, but c'mon man, if you cope properly, like by speaking (without lashing out) to someone when things are too much, not falling further into an obsessive chemical pick-me-up addiction and honestly this sex obsession, youd do so much better, but you wont because its one of them hidden addictions that no one but your friends and people youre close to know about, by your choice, and you think that means its totally fine, because I'll stick around regardless right? cause i have this long and im making life plans with you and i love you more than youll ever know and as long as i dont see it' or notice it its fine, it wont kill me, youll keep going until im about to cut my losses and you promise and youll try you really will, but itll creep back and we'll be back at square one, or youll get better at hiding it from me, youre already pretty good at it now, ill bet money that if i got 3 hours and all your passwords id find cia sized files everywhere and id puke and cry myself to sleep for months, and i know youll only get better at it, and i dont want to be paranoid that your girls are still around my whole life, what kind of example am i setting for my daughters if i just let myself live like that, god id kill my son-in-law if he made her feel like that, honestly id kill him for most of the things youve done, so why am i letting it happen to me???

[kakashihasibs]

Out of curiosity, why do you feel like you’re aromantic? I only ask because I’ve been very seriously thinking that I’m aro, but I keep second guessing myself. I think it would help to hear why another person is aro, but I just don’t encounter a lot of people or bloggers who talk about it.

Feel free to ignore if you want, people irl and on this site are still really weird about aros, so I totally understand not wanting to get into it

Ooougha okay so i have thoughts™ and you are about to get them all good luck lol i get to how i feel in terms of being aro towards the end. I promise this is all building up to that even tho it'snot gonna seem like it at 1st x_x.

(tl;dr: it took me 5 years to feel like i loved my husband and I'm not even sure the love i feel is romantic or not bc it feels the same as how i feel for my friends but overall I'm not even sure what benefit there is for me, personally, to ID as aro bc what's even the purpose of labeling our sexualities, political or personal? (it's a mix of both)

There's, from what I've seen, really two purposes to labeling one's sexuality.

1) political coalition building. -> Hi i am a Gay man and you are a Lesbian we are not The Same but we have political interests that are The Same and we are more powerful and safer together let's have each other's backs. And when there's an issue that affects only you I'll still show up for you and when it's an issue that affects only me you'll still show up for me.

And

2) community and communication. -> hi i am a gay man and you are a man also interested in men (gay/bi) lets be in a community and/or relationship

(Please dont come at me these are both huge over simplifications! I'm build up my thought process to a more complex idea!)

Neither of these things are mutually exclusive, of course, and these are only sorta loose ideas I've seen some people express here and there.

I only note them bc people who focus on number 1, political coalition building, are more often (not always!) a little more down on "micro labels," whether they are exclusionist or not, bc it, they argue, in some way muddies the waters in terms of coalition building. If there's so many niche labels now and we're creating more and more niche labels then we're creating more and more divides and not focusing on keeping each other safe under the same umbrella.

I've also seen the argument that making more and more niche micro labels is related to individualism and commoditization under capitalism. Like "look you too can have ur own special flag and identity! Now buy all this merch to show it off! Give us money!!!"

Which, for both of these concerns, i am sympathetic to to an extent. (Except out right exclusionists, fuck them.)

People who focus more on number 2, community and communication, are generally, in my experience, much more in favor of micro labels. Say ur like me, I'm asexual but I'm also gay but maybe aromantic, but then where does the gay fit in? Oh geez idk. But wait! There's a sexuality that breaks being gay while also aroace down! I have a word(s) for myself! Which inarguably feels good. It makes me feel understood and normal. And now i can find other people who experience sexuality just like me. I can find a small community to feel at home in. Right?

---

i have laid out these two general ideas. The possible purposes i might have for naming/labeling/understand my sexuality.

I approach my sexuality from a political standpoint AND from a personal standpoint which I think most people do bc again they're are not mutually exclusive.

I am in some way not straight (and not cis but not talking about that right now). I have faced violence and discrimination for my sexuality. I want to name my sexuality in order to identify myself with a political movement. I name my sexuality so when I take political actions or make political demands, it is understood by others that i am doing so in solidarity with other people who have face similar oppression. I want to name my sexuality so i can better articulate the problems I face. So other can go to bat for me (and I will go to bat for them even if the issue isnt mine!)

For example, back in the day when ace ~discourse~ was much much worse, I was threatened with corrective rape (irl for the record) but instead of anyone standing in any sort of solidarity with me, i was told i was misappropriating corrective rape. (Which still just fucking blows my mind but besides the point.) This is why exclusionist can fuck off btw. Instead of anything productive they just were yaknow evil. Ugh anyway

I also faced discrimination at the doctors when asked my sexuality. I was honest and said asexual which lead down a whole rabbit hole of bullshit. The coalition building purpose would look like, "i have faced discrimination at the doctors for my sexuality and so have you so lets team up and support a bill that protects patient autonomy and rights"

And on the personal side i can talk to other asexuals who have faced the exact same problems i have. I can find empathy and understand in a way i might not from an allo cis gay guy (that's not dunking on any allo cis gay guy! For the record. We just have different experiences and very similar ones too!).

So you can see the benefit of either approach right? Maybe i just wanna call myself just queer or just gay or just ace and be done with. I have my coalition and maybe my community it still very broad but it is there.

Or maybe i wanna figure out why it took 5 years to feel like i loved my husband. Or why maybe my love for my husband doesn't really feel any different than my love for friends? Should the love i feel for my husband even BE different from the love i feel for my friends? Am i actually even feeling love? We've been together for 12 years what different does it make now anyway?

I feel like I'm probably aro but i also feel like I'm not and I'm "only" asexual.

Things that affect aros affect nearly all of us. We're all impacted by amatonormativity. We all struggle with getting next of kin rights with our chosen family, just to name a couple things. Discussing and supporting aromantism will benefit us all.

But what about discussing someone who is ace aro and gay? Maybe? Idk? Does being aroacegay bring anything new to the table? Or is it just another flag to profit off of for some fucking corporation? I dont know!

For me, is there even any separation between being ace and aro and gay or is it just the same part of me being looked at through too many lenses?

And all of this is what i think and feel when i think or feel like I'm aro x_x which is to say bud i have no fucking clue lol.

All i really know is i will fight for anyone under the queer/lgbtq+ umbrella regardless if it impacts me and i hope and pray that when people like me need the same kind of support everyone else will also fight for us too.

I think I'm done now. Sorry u got this whole ass mess lol. x_x if you have any questions comments or concerns you can DM or anon me any of them :3 I'll happily address them

[slowjamastan]

revisiting my silly little canonverse-influencertalia ideas

i need to write the skydiving fic.

thats the only idea i thought was funny enough to actually get it about halfway down on paper, i just dont know where it went lolllllll i think i went too edgelord with it, i might tweak it to be less obnoxiously so. but i am so funny and i cannot be dissuaded

i know For A Fact i should not attempt an overarching plot. i want to i really want to but the most i should be allowed to try is a series of oneshots all in one bundle, with like, a few multi-part story arcs. i have this one structured storyline i wanna put together but i dont trust myself to follow through at this point in my writing abilities. if i was a good or motivated writer i would make it a fic of its own but i SHANTTT i shall not attempt ...

after i started in on this post, i realized i cant give away any plot(s) bc if i write it all out in a rant, i definitely wont write anything for real. but i love my little headcanons and making up chr interactions ....... god u know what i want i need cocreators i need collaboratorsssss. does anyone want to talk about hetalia characters using twitter w meeee i promise i will be so so normal <3

most of my oneshot pitches were alfred-centric ofc because i am so annoying. hes the main character of the world To Me <3 also bc the problem is that whn i want to write about other characters im like oh god i dont know enough about this guy i need to do research. and then i do. and thats the problem. so im like what DO i know? the answer. is Mr America <3<3 and he is so funny and my scrunchybob. i also have a lot of east asia and of my little nordic fellas and a few micronations and other teenage characters (because i think they would all be friends and have a gc, they're funny to characterize and im attached to them. and theyre the group the Plot is about lmao)

but like. mannnn. if i was one of those people that could just bang out 3k fics and post em as oneoffs and call it a day? id be a rich man. i wish i could do that once every day until i get all the brainworms out

personalized nanowrimo challenge where i try to write a oneshot chapter of bullshit every day for 30 days and its not November and thers no word count. ? hmmmmmmmmmm

[neomedievalistbr]

Aitsf for 001?

THANK YOU circe for indulging me. i promise ill try my hardest to be normal abt this game

Favorite character: This may come as a surprise, but no, it's Date, it's Iris! i love her so much i wish vtubers were real

Least Favorite character: Rohan, Shoko, So, Saito, Ota.... Moma kinda, i dont like the "oh he wants to touch iris' boobs" jokes

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Theres not really anything to ship here (good. imagine if this was like danganronpa) but uhhh Date/Hitomi/Me

Character I find most attractive: ............................Kaname Date

Character I would marry: Boss. she could make me worse

Character I would be best friends with: IRIS!

a random thought: not related but i was thinking abt dgrp fans finding out abt aitsf and promoting it. stay away you freaks

An unpopular opinion: i wish uchikoshi stopped being weird with Iris. and ableist.

My Canon OTP: Date/Hitomi

My Non-canon OTP: Date/Kagami. i think this one is too funny to pass

Most Badass Character: Mizuki. like, in any route

Most Epic Villain: Saito...... i wish uchikoshi didnt write all his villains in the most ableist way possible

Pairing I am not a fan of: Date/Ryuki. like the jokes that Ryuki is down bad for Date are funny but if youre actually shipping them. GET HELP‼️

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Saito 👍

Favourite Friendship: AIBA AND DATE. I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP SO FUCKIN MUCH

Character I most identify with: Pewter. i understand him. id do the same

Character I wish I could be: Tama. goddammit i never wished to be an eyeball more than i want now

[twinvictim]

I love the way your face lights up when someone says, “It might be dangerous.” (I am glad we are friends.) [eileen + lynn]

Eileen knew it best to have another person, someone driven and impassioned, someone ready and willing to fight, tooth and nail for something they believed in, to find something to believe in when they didnt have one.

if anyone was more driven than Lynn well, she figured they might as well be a car.

No matter how many times Eileen thought she would back out of something, Lynn would always prove her wrong. That said, Eileen had never asked her to help with something like this, hell, she never asked her to even believe something like this. Something worse than stupid shit like drinking together or going to Devil's Pit, riding those rickety railcars over a canyon taller than the empire state building if the drunk tour guide was correct.

no this was something else. Lynn was more than just skeptical, she almost scoffed at the idea of supernatural beings. Eileen couldn't blame her exactly, she didn't use to really believe in things like that, entertaining the idea sometimes, something of an agnostic. now...she only had two people. Henry Townshend was nice enough, she couldn't imagine not sticking with him after this, but she needed someone she knew before, she needed someone to believe her who wasn't him.

Ignoring other feelings, she just needed a normal person for a moment. She needed more help, there was this feeling that they hadn't broken this curse. they needed someone more stable, and she waited with bated breath after explaining all of this, her whole story, her very own soul laid bare in a hospital room. the sterile room making her skin crawl remembering the dreams.

"I know I sound crazy, I know you probably don't believe me, but I can't tell anyone else, I don't know what I'm supposed to do." She scratched at the cast a little more, it didn't hurt too badly, but it really did itch.

"shit..." Lynn took a massive deep breath, eyes closed as she thought about everything. Lynn could be harsh, she could be blunt sometimes, in a way that was often needed and sometimes off-putting to people that didn't know her well.

"well, I'm not saying you don't sound kind of off your rocker, if I didn't know you id probably say you hit your head too hard but..."

"The numbers are still there...I know they're gonna scar..."

"Hey, don't interrupt," Lynn waved a hand and leaned forward, giving her that dead serious look that used to come off as intimidating, "listen, there's too much here to be bullshit. I don't know, I don't know what to believe exactly, but I do want to help. I think I could probably do that right? I don't know if I totally believe in ghosts or whatever you saw, but something happened. and you need help. you absolutely have to get out of that shithole for one."

Eileen felt her eyes water slightly, maybe just because even if she couldn't quite believe her, Lynn took her seriously. maybe it was the exhaustion, she could hardly sleep, everything still hurt and even Lynn in the doorway had startled her, she was on the taller side for a woman and the shadow frightened her still. but she took her seriously. and this was invaluable.

"God, thank you...I'm sorry," she reached forward and grabbed onto her, pulling her close and gripping her shoulder tightly, crying softly on her shoulder.

"easy...alright," Lynn awkwardly patted her shoulder, "it's alright, we'll figure this out I promise."

"I don't know if it's safe-I mean Henry said he died but...he was already dead...I don't know...I don't want something bad to happen to you too." Eileen sniffed as she pulled away and wiped her eyes. Lynn gave her that look again, that expression that glinted in her eyes. Lynn almost wanted him to be alive if only so she could rip him with her teeth.

"Don't worry about that alright? just worry about getting better. you'll be fine, you're stronger than that. Best I can do is help you, I'm not worried." She nodded firmly, solidly, and Eileen could only smiled slightly as she gripped her arm and shook it.

If Lynn was anything, she was a rock.

[sassysittybittys]

Today I rested. I rested and didn't track all of my calories. I know I went over. I know I didn't get all of my steps in. But today? I also started my period. I was exhausted. I was hungry. I was in severe pain. I was uncomfortable. But I am also alive. I saw my friends. We watched movies and played games. My cats came by to say hello. We laughed, joked, and had fun. They distracted me and I didn't hyperfixate on what I normally do. Food, calories, calories in, calories out, steps taken, etc... once a month is not wrong. It is not bad. Once a month, allow yourself to be free. Allow yourself to enjoy life. It will make everything easier. Tomorrow I will get up and have my protein in eggs, supplements, and vegetables. I will plan my meals accordingly. I will get up and have my walk, I will meet my steps, I will do as I am supposed to on this journey. But when I was at my smallest? This is what I did. That first day of discomfort and hunger and rampaging emotions, I allowed myself tasty treats and time spent with loved ones. I allowed myself to cook my favourite meal my mom used to make. My mom who lives 2,000 miles away and I only see once a year if Im lucky. We ate our yummy food full of protein and vegetables and (dreaded) carbs and fat. If I were going back to old habits, Id never stop. But I know tomorrow will be full of protein and good choices. Lean meats and vegetables. I will keep losing weight. And next month, when I feel sad again. Sick again. Uncomfortable and in pain again, I will live just a little bit. It will serve me well mentally and physically so I can keep losing weight. I have been going to the gym. Muscle weighs more than fat and makes you look toned. Im so surprised to see how well that's paying off lately. I lift heavy. And if I want to look hot as hell, sometimes I need to properly fuel my workouts AND my rest days. You want to look like your thinspo? You gotta EAT like your thinspo. You gotta TRAIN like your thinspo. It's crazy to see it paying off.... But it really is and I couldn't be more proud. The number might be so important to some. But for me? The look is most important. I could be 110lbs and still be flabby. Or I could be 120lbs with a tiny waist and flat stomach still. Toned arms and bubble butt. Sometimes those fitness influencers really know their shit, I promise.

[onmymasa22]

I am over the moon grateful to have been able to stay with family during the war. To be a jew anywhere is not simple right now, and its easiest to breathe in a home. And with that i am also really grateful to be If i wrote a book about falling in love with someone i cant have, the last lines would go like this:

You dont need to be angry with people. We have this idea that if someone wrongs ou, you are supposed to rave war. But just because i dont react, doesnt mean that what u did wasok. U r an idiot. I have moved on from that. How i react wont make you more or lessthat what i know u r. All it does is wastes my time. But make no mistake, kust be ause i choose not to respond to u,doesnt mean ur good.

And i told him, as chilly november wind blew, as we sat on the bus stop bench. 11am, a lit cigarette in my hand. I told him that i believed with my whole being that we would meet in a different lifetime. The feeling i got from him was that we knew eachother. An instant connection. He felt like a version of home. I knew that in a past life, we were married. We were so extatically happy together. That couple that disgusts you and simultaniously makes you believe in love. That kind of love. We were lying in bed, and you asked me if i thought we'd love eachother forever. And i promised that id love you for a thousand lifetimes. And here we are now. And i love you, im fulfilling a promise i made, but being with you is not going to happen in this lifetime

Im happiest when im there alone

Im in a mood of smoking weed with friends. Drinking vodka cranberry and watching a stupid movie.

Watch indiana johns something something lost ark... can someone explain to me why its known for being about good versus evil... the nazis are evil, but then the ark goes to the americans which is pretty mediocre... cuz indy wanted it to be something and america put it in the closet.

To everyone whos personality is empathetic but quiet. Where you're not going to post or talk about everyone you feel connected to. Those who fall apart from seeing pictures or images of people you dont eben need to know to feel as awful as anyone else. To those who are seasonally depressed anyway and the war doesn't help. To those who knowone will ever know just how many souls you connect to you because all you need is a voice, a picture, a video and you feel like you know them. To those who conside themselves a leg and the person who we lost an arm, who feel the loss, who understand how weird it is to be sorry for your loss,

I want a degree and then to get a job while looking for my dream job. I want a little apartment outside of the city.

Get a job

Live outside the city

Move in the summer

Get a job and work 4 times a week as a student

Live off of my money, start living my life

Work in rishon for the year- make up the classes

13&13 or 12&12

Weddings and funerals both have a special way of polarising people. You either know them or you dont. You were closer friends versus not so close. I always thought it was weird the feeling people get by being closer to an event, theres a justification that always happens where youre allowed to be extra happy or upset the closer you are. It sounds weird, but i always found the energies at celebrations and tragedies a curiosity. But for the empaths who feel it all but dont talk alot, who only need a video, a picture, a voice, to feel "unjustifiably" affected by a loss in our nation. Where you feel it all but noone says "im so sorry for your loss" cuz why should they. Where you find yourself wishing you knew them cuz then it wouldnt be so weird when you cry, people would just understand. Im gonna tell you: you are normal. Whether you knew the person, and whether you didnt know the person, wherever you are on that spectrum, i am so sorry for your loss.

You know as jews we kind of are a part of one body, and i might be a leg, and a lost person is an arm and i feel

Other girls might have been friends with a bunch of guys. Been really gross with guys. Bikinis on the beach, every night partying, friends and cars. India and sinai. Other girls might miss stuff like that. But do u know what i miss? I miss how i met ur mother marathons. I miss ordering pizza and eating way too much. I miss talking through greys anatomy about great scenes or whats medically correct. I miss going out to buy candy in onesies. I miss the one time drinking and watching the stupidest movie known to man. I slept so good that night. I miss the first time i ever smoked weed. I was in a bad mood, and the weed made me forget, and i stayed in a chill mood that whole night. I miss dancing on the kibbutz, we all secretly glt drunk at 10am and spent the day dancing. I miss the birthday party my pants caught on fire. We were under a bridge and it started raining and we were all soaked and just started dancing our butts off in the pouring rain at 3am. I miss the first day i felt pretty. The day i could look at myself and didnt want to hide in ramat gan. I miss the fireworks when the arab guy kissed me. The first guy i liked kissing me. Wjen he asked for my number. I miss my 21st birthday birthday where i felt so much gdly presence i was floating and gave out flowers at the hospital. I miss my first time in israel meeting the israeli soldiers. My life may not have the same amount of pictures as everyone. I dont care what i wore that day. But i had a spectacular life. Mostly i miss the calm of sitting abd eating pizza and watching tv with friends. Thats what i love the most. Ive had loud obnoxious in your face kind of adventure. Not the same adventure as everyone else. And maybe theure jealous of me- i had a crazy adventurous life. I lived in California knowing noone. I never really had an apartment- its too adulty for me. Its ok that their life seems so great. It isnt. I dint want it. I want my life. My life, with its regrets, is incredible. Its a story of a girl who knew it would get better. And then it did. It was spectacular.

A millionaire businessman needs to go to europe for two weeks. He goes to the bank and says id like to take out a loan for 500 dollars, im going to europe for two weeks. They need collateral so he says heres the key to my new jaguar. Ok, he goes to europe. Comes back two weeks later, back to the bank. He says whats the interest i owe they say 13.50. He gives them the 500 dollars back. He pays them the 13.50. He gets his keys back. The bank says mr businessman, if you're rich enough to have a jaguar, why did you need to take out a loan for 500 dollars? The business guy says where else could i have parked my car in Manhattan for 13.50 for two weeks

I want written on a teeshirt:

You can treat me like crap. You probably wont go up in flames or melt. Youll just have to deal with it in your next reincarnation while im in gan eden. But you are totally welcome to make the wrong decision. Thats you free choice.

I bought a perfume from giorgio armani a year and a half ago, my first time in italy. I wore it everyday and enjoyed smelling fresh- shampoo meets counter cleaner. I loved it so much that this past summer i finished the 80 dollar bottle. For me, perfume and mascara are an everyday thing that helps me feel alive and ready to go out. Before going out, i spray it on, and my favorite compliment is man, u smell good. I havent worn perfume for months. Definitely since the war started, its turned life upside down and i really havent thought about perfume. It seemed so vain. But for my birthday, i got a new bottle of the same lemon counter cleaner perfume, and i sprayed it today,and it just makes me so happy. Happy thati have t been in a while. Its like the perfume makes me feel ok. Like im ok. I can start the day. It just made me fall inlove with myself, and remember when life was just going about the day, hanging out with friends, late night car rides, dinners, sweaters, going to school, thrift shopping, beach days. When i felt ok. This is so important. It was a birthday that i wish i could tell myself the last like 4 birthdays- u will hve a birthday that makes up for all of it. Not because its some blow out birthday,but it actually was my favorite birthday since i was 20 and gave out fowers at the hospital. This birthday was just good. I took it gracefully. I wanted cupcakes and perfume. Guy texted me and that made me feel the best. Some friends wrote on my facebook page, some friends texted me. I just was quietly happy. Guy saying when can we meet up really made my day. I just felt loved by people likd i deserve the best. A guy will comd who deserves me. Who loves everything about me. Who will accept my faults and i can be honest with. Someone who sees me for who i am. Maybe i am someone who affects people around me. Im someone people remember.

Why do people have free choice to be an ass.