#but some of you have made me feel shitty and im not doin it anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shorkbrian · 3 years

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Omg hi so I read your babysitter fic and I was thinking what if bakuogus tired of reader being a brat with him so he brings Kiri over to help him out 🤤 srry im just being horny on anon rn

“C’mon princess, move your ass before I move it for you.”

You huffed at the blonde, opening the car door, stepping outside and slamming it shut. Bakugou shot you a harsh glare, but you weren’t looking at him, instead crouching to tie your shoe.

He gave you a moment to do that, before the man got impatient, clicking his tongue, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Let’s go, it’s not like I have all fucking day.”

You knew for a fact that yes, he did have all day.

Your mom was away again, another business trip. She was working towards a promotion - a position that meant more hours, more work, more travel.

More time being spent with your stupid babysitter.

With your rapist.

He hadn’t touched you, not outright, since that day. Every time your mom suggested having him over for dinner, you conveniently found somewhere to be; out with friends, on a date, having a sleepover. Anything so that you didn’t have to look at Bakugou Katsuki’s stupid, smug little face.

But your mom had surprised you yesterday night, letting you know she’d be leaving in the morning, that Katsuki would be staying over again. There wasn’t any time for you to argue with her, to plead for her to stay, or to take you with her, or for you to stay at a friend’s house, anything but Katsuki.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to avoid him!” She had laughed, before wagging a finger at you. “Don’t be rude. He’s a nice man, and I trust him to keep you safe. He did last time!”

Yeah, and he also assaulted you last time, so maybe he wasn’t as nice of a guy as she thought.

He was taking you to the mall, not even really giving you a choice, just telling you to get dressed, that the two of you were going out.

Now here you were, trudging silently behind the older man, glaring at the ground.

“Bakubro! Over here!”

A loud shout drew your attention, Bakugou grinning as he started veering towards the shouter, a red-haired man waving enthusiastically. You followed behind him obediently, taking stock of this new man.

He was fucking huge, thick thighs bulging against his jeans, biceps straining against the fabric of his navy hoodie. This new guy was handsome too, a wide, sharp smile, soft red eyes, a clean-shaven face.

“’Sup Idiot? You tryin’ to attract the whole mall? Always so damn loud.” Even though he was complaining, it was clear that these two were friends as Bakugou let the other man pull him into a hug. They pounded each other on the back, before the redhead drew back, pushing past the blonde to give you his full attention.

“Who’s this? Did you get a girlfriend? She looks a little young bro.”

“I’m not his girlfriend.” You spat, and the redhead held up his hands in surrender as Bakugou shouldered him to the side.

“It’s the little fucker that I’m looking after as a favor. You know I work security for that office complex?” The redhead nodded. “Yeah, one of the milfs gave me free range of her house as long as I watch her.”

Both men looked at you, and the redhead smiled brightly.

“Ah, well, I’m Kirishima! Nice to meet you, sorry you have to put up with such a grumpy fucke-”

“Hey, shaddup.” Bakugou elbowed him, but Kirishima was already extending a hand for you to shake, and you did so gladly. At least you weren’t the only one who thought Bakugou was a grumpy, stuck up mess.

“’Kay, now can we go? I’m starving’, wanna eat before we do anything else.”

Kirishima winked at you as he threw an arm around your shoulders, his other arm around Bakugou. “Food court? I think they have a pretty good selection here...”

-----

Kirishima was much more tolerable than Bakugou.

He was funny, cracking jokes and making you almost spit out the soda he had bought you, slipping you five dollars behind Bakugou’s back for you to get a drink.

The redhead sat next to you while the three of you ate, including you in the conversation whenever Bakugou seemed to forget about your existence.

As the three of you walked from store-to-store, Kirishima listened to you ramble on about the latest game you’d bought, what you thought of your favorite snack brand trying to collaborate with a fashion company, all your opinions on the music playing faintly through the mall speakers.

It was fun when he grabbed your hand, tugging you away from Bakugou and along with the redhead as he ducked into a random store. It was some street-wear fashion place, and Kirishima wanted your thoughts on if a shirt was his color, or if he could pull off one of the hats that adorned the mannequin in the store window.

The two of you were busy laughing at how the hat couldn’t even press past his spiky hairstyle when you noticed Bakugou, glowering at you both from the outside of the store, lips pulled into the deepest frown.

Kirishima started laughing at the man’s expression, and you quickly followed suit, before Bakugou stalked inside, cuffing his friend on the ear.

What a spoil sport.

You couldn’t deny that by the end of the few hours you’d spent with Kirishima, you found yourself attracted to him. Not only in looks, but also in his goofy personality. You wouldn’t mind being friends with him.

It was easy to exchange numbers with the man, easy to let him lift your spirits.

And then it was time to leave, all three of you grouped at the entrance, saying bye, Bakugou and Kirishima giving each other another bro-hug.

You gave Kirishima a hug, leaning into his warm touch, enjoying his spicy cologne as you pressed your face against his broad chest. He eagerly returned the hug, until Bakugou was scoffing, pulling you out of his embrace.

“We’re in fucking public, you two, chill. Keep your pants on, sluts.”

Kirishima laughed, giving you a cheery wave as Bakugou gripped your hand until it hurt, dragging you out of the mall quickly.

-----

“Why are you being such a brat? You were fuckin’ fine earlier.” The blonde man grumbled, glancing over at you from where he was making dinner.

You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your water. “It’s not my fault you have a stick up your ass. All I said is I don’t like when you make food, tastes bad.”

Bakugou huffed, turning off the stove. “Are you fucking serious? You’re just trying to mess with me, aren’t’cha princess?”

“Could you stop calling me that? I’m not your princess.”

“You’re whatever I want you to be, princess.” Bakugou sneered, stomping towards you.

You quickly backpedalled, setting your glass of water down on the counter, stepping back. “I’m going to go set the table!” Was your way out, and Bakugou backed off as you threw open a cupboard, rummaging for plates and cups as he chuckled to himself.

“Yeah, you do that.”

It wasn’t long before the table was set, Bakugou bringing the food to set it down onto the hotplate in the middle.

Even just a whiff of the food had your eyes watering, the spice through the roof.

“Seriously dude? You know you’re cooking for two people, why the fuck did you make it inedible?!?”

The blonde man glared at you as he sat down, jaw working, mouth twisting. “You gonna be a bitch-baby about it? Should be fuckin’ grateful that I even made you dinner.”

“Thanks for dinner.” You mumbled, staring tiredly at the food Bakugou was heaping onto his plate. You didn’t feel like eating anymore, his outburst ruining your mood, reminding you of the time when he got angry because you wouldn’t go to bed, wouldn’t listen to him-

“Eat the damn food.” Katsuki snapped, pulling you out of your thoughts and back to the present.

You did as he asked, even though it burned your mouth. Dinner was quickly gulped down, followed by desperate swigs of water as you tried to chase away the spice. Bakugou huffing the entire time at your inability to handle the level of spice he preferred.

Afterwards, you gathered up the plates and washed them, conscious of Katsuki hovering in the background of the kitchen, watching you work while he tapped away on his phone.

When the last dish was washed, dried, and put away, you began rummaging in the cupboards, looking for something sweet, something to soothe your tastebuds.

“What’re you doin’, didn’t I just feed you?”

Bakugou’s harsh voice made you flinch, but you kept your back to him. “Was hoping there’d be dessert.”

A long, irritated sigh, then a hand gripped your shoulder, pulling you away from the kitchen cupboards. “Ain’t got any of that shit in the house princess, you don’t need it.”

“But-” Your plead was interrupted by Bakugou rolling his eyes, snorting.

“Why are you being such a whiny baby? Is this cause Kiri was spoilin’ you earlier?”

Jutting your chin out, you glared up into red eyes as you turned around seething. “Maybe I like being treated like a person and not a problem. I don’t even understand why he’s friends with you - you’re mean and crass and stup-”

“So you’re just acting out cause you want some extra attention or some shit? What a brat.” The blonde sneered, leaning back against the counter as he tapped away at his phone again.

“You want Kiri so bad, fine. I’ll have him get you some shitty grocery-store dessert. Then maybe you’ll stop acting like a bitch. Stuff some candy in that mouth, will that keep you quiet, huh?”

It was infuriating, being treated like a child. Ignored, talked down to, unable to assert yourself or make decisions.

“Whatever.” You huffed, shaking your head as you walked out of the kitchen. “Anything’s better than having to sit here with you.”

-----

The front door opening and the faint rustle of grocery bags caught your ear as you fumed on the couch, angrily questioning “why me?” as to your situation. But the noise meant your new friend was here, and he was much nicer than Bakugou.

Nice enough to have you smiling a bit as you rose to your feet, padding into the dining room as you beelined to the soft murmur of two manly voices.

“Heyyy! Long time no see!” The redhead was dressed in a loose tank top and basketball shorts, shoes discarded somewhere in the hall.

You’d known he was muscular, but actually seeing his muscles without clothes in the way? You were stunned.

A bright blush encompassed your face when Bakugou snapped his fingers, narrowing his eyes at you. “Ay’, stupid! Focus! He got you a bunch of sweet shit. Rot your teeth out.” While gesturing to the two grocery bags resting on the dinner table.

“Hi Kirishima, thanks for the desserts-”

“Aw, it’s nothing. Bakubro wouldn’t tell me what kinda flavors you like so I kinda got a variety...”

Cupcakes and candy and various other sweet treats were nestled in the bags, and you grinned. “Dude, it’s all good. Wanna sit down and have some too?”

Bakugou snorted while Kiri smiled at you, nodding his head. The dining chair creaked as his weight settled in it, the redhead pushing the grocery bags towards where you sat, encouraging you to pick anything you wanted.

The two men began to talk about this and that, mundane things about work, odd jobs, what their plans for the weekend were, boring stuff you easily tuned out as you indulged in sweet desserts.

Their attention turned to you when a whine slipped from your lips as frosting fell rom the cupcake you were eating and onto your shirt. Before you reached for a napkin, Kiri was leaning over, invading your space.

“You’re kinda messy, aren't you?” He breathed, a single finger swiping through the frosting on your shirt before the redhead sucked it into his mouth, looking at you through his eyelashes.

“Oh-u-uhm...” Was your elegant reply, tummy filled with butterflies at the fact that his finger had pressed against your skin through your shirt, right underneath your breast.

He was so hot.

“Yeah, and a fuckin’ brat too. Little bitch can’t stop complaining about every little thing. Shut up the second I mentioned you were coming over.” Bakugou cackled, breaking the mood completely.

But Kirishima’s eyes were still on you as his now-clean finger slipped from his mouth. It was mesmerizing, watching the muscles in his arms shift and move as he leaned closer, slipping his hands underneath your shirt and raising the fabric so he could lick at the frosting still stuck on it.

Your breath stuttered, heat flaring suddenly in your tummy at the action.

And then Bakugou had to ruin it again.

“You can fuck her if you want, I don’t mind. I told the old bird I would watch her kid for her. Didn’t say nothin’ about not getting her drunk on some cock.”

Eyes squeezing shut, you opened your mouth for some snappy reply, but Kirishima beat you to speaking.

“Yeah? Alright. You good with that baby?”

Wait, good with-?

Kirishima was looking up at you expectantly, fingers still clutched in your shirt, refusing to touch your skin. He was hot. This was hot. It’d be perfect if Bakugou wasn’t here.

“C’mon, just fuck her man, she’s been gaggin’ for your dick since she met you. Stop being a loser and man up.”

The redhead in front of you smiled, sharp teeth on display and gleaming.

Then your shirt was being pulled over your head, hands gripping at your chest, thumbing over your nipples through your bra.

“W-wai-Kiri! Uhm, can’t we- uhm-”

Your voice was ignored, the redhead’s eyes glued to your chest as he pulled down your bra a bit, until he could palm each breast without anything in-between his warm hands and your soft skin.

“You’re so pretty...”

“She’s a whore.” Bakugou snarked.

Hands migrated to your waist, and you were easily lifted onto the table, Kirishima rising from his seat so he could push at your shoulders until they met the solid wood. Bakugou stayed seated, casually notching his hands behind his head and leaning back as he watched the show unfold before him.

Things were happening so fast, you didn’t know what to say, couldn’t move your hands to push away the broad redhead. This was so confusing. Yes, you wanted him, but you didn’t want Bakugou watching. You didn’t want to do this on the dining room table, didn’t like the quick turn the night had taken.

Your pants were being pulled down before you could organize your thoughts, before you could do much else aside from whimper and press your legs together.

“Hah, cute panties. You always wear stuff like this?” Kirishima asked, sliding a thumb underneath the elastic waistband only so he could snap it against your skin. You gasped at the little sting, unsure what to say, what to do.

“Most of her stuff is stupid girly shit like that, so yes.”

You tried to throw a glare Bakugou’s way, but with the blonde somewhere behind you sitting at the table, you couldn’t turn your head far enough.

Especially not when you were distracted by Kirishima pushing down the waistband of his shorts.

“I’m so glad I didn’t wear jeans.” He chuckled, holding his cock at the base as he sat back down again, scooting his chair up to edge of the table where your legs were splayed wide.

“Okay pretty, try and stay still for me. Make as much noise as you wanna, Bakugou and I don’t mind.” And then a warm mouth was pressed up against your cunt, licking at you over your panties, dragging the rough cotton against your most sensitive parts.

“Oh! o-oh, oh-oh-” Was all you could make your mouth manage as the redhead gripped your thighs in his giant hands, pushing them apart and allowing his massive shoulders to fit between them as he bent to lick at your pussy.

It felt... It felt so good, building up pressure in your stomach as your hole clenched around nothing.

Then Kiri did something awful, pulling your panties to the side and nosing into your folds with a pleased grunt. His skin was so warm, and you were so wet, and his nose started bumping against your clit as the man sloppily mouthed at you, and you couldn’t-couldn’t

“Stop-stop! ‘m gonna cum!” You wailed, legs twitching.

Immediately Kirishima drew back, soothing circles getting rubbed into your calves by thick fingers. “You don’t wanna cum in my mouth? Wanna cum on my cock instead? That’s cute.”

He stood up, and you barely got a glimpse of his dick bobbing against his stomach before he was leaning forward and catching your lips in a kiss. It almost scared you, sharp teeth poking menacingly against your lips, dragging across your skin as Kirishima moved his mouth against yours, but the redhead knew how to work with his teeth.

“Man, she really is a slut for you.” Bakugou piped up from behind you. He was a bit breathless, voice scratcher, but you couldn’t focus on that, not when Kirishima was pulling away with a groan, one of his hands fisting his cock.

The redhead gathered the spit in his mouth, leaned down, and let it drip onto your cunt, panties still pushed to the side. It was burning hot, adding to the fire in your tummy, blazing higher and higher.

Heavy breathing and labored panting filled the room as Kirishima edged closer to you, laying his cock flat against your entrance, playing with your panties as he did so until they pressed against his cock as it nestled between the lips of your cunt.

And then he started grinding.

Slow, delicious, absolutely heavenly.

You almost didn’t care about the disgusting little groans coming from Bakugou, the slick sounds of him fucking his fist, the creak of his chair behind you.

Almost.

Your attention was more focused on the pleasurable little zings going up your spine as Kiri rubbed his cock through your folds, all slick and wet. You kept your legs spread wide for him, barely able to breathe at the heat that seemed to fill the space, fill your lungs and steal your voice.

Kiri leaned down to kiss you again, and your hands fisted into his tank top, the material sweaty as it clung to his chest. If you could focus, you’d be trying to pull it off him, see the beautiful skin underneath, the man’s gorgeous body.

But what he was doing with his hips felt so good, you couldn’t even think.

“Kiri-Kiri, gonna-ohmygod-gonna-!”

And you came, shuddering as his cock kept fucking back and forth through your folds, twitching against your clit, veins in his dick pulsing and dragging against your skin.

He wasn’t stopping.

“Unhh, I came, please, wait Kirishima-”

“Didn’t you say you wanted to cum on my cock baby? I’m barely getting warmed up.” A feral smile gleamed bright from his lips. “I don’t play like Bakugou, I like messy girls. Gonna get you so fucked out you can’t even speak, can’t even walk. Won’t give him any trouble then, right? You’ll be good? For us?”

The look in his eye told you that you weren’t going to get a choice.

“Fuck Kiri, turn her over when you fuck her cunt so I can use her mouth.” Bakugou’s voice cut in, and your mood soured even more.

But Kirishima was already agreeing, cock still thrusting against your cunt.

You didn’t get to make decisions anymore.

#kirishima #bakugou #yandere #bully bakugou #tw.noncon #tw.dubcon #tw.dark content #Yandere BNHA #Yandere kirishima #dark kirishima #dark bakugou

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astranne · 4 years

Text

ROYAL - Bruce Wayne

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I've never seen a diamond in the flesh

I cut my teeth on wedding rings in the movies

And I'm not proud of my address, in the torn up town

No post code envy

I looked up. My gaze caught every little detail. The beautiful but fake-looking women, the handsome men, smoking expensive cigars and talking about money and their big houses. Houses like the Wayne Manor. I felt the glances of the rich men trying to undress me with their mere eyes. But it didn't really bother me, I always liked the attention of men. I always loved the way how I affected men. But this was different. They had women by their side and fucked me with their eyes.

Slowly, I made my way upstairs. My long, black coat hid my dress. Everyone wore pastel colors, it was the dress code after all. The butler of the family Wayne smiled pleasantly and nodded in my direction.

„Miss Jackson, it's a pleasure to see you at the gala. May I have your coat?"

„Alfred, please, call me Lara. You've known me for many years."

„Indeed, Lara." I smiled and took off my coat. Alfred raised an eyebrow at my dress but didn't say a thing.

„You look like your mother, Lara. She would be very proud of you."

„Thank you, Alfred. But I couldn't have done it without you." He reached his arm to me, I smiled and took it.

„I'm afraid, but Master Bruce wouldn't approve that," he made reference to the dress. It was scandalous. Scandalous red.

„Well Alfred, you should know, I don't care about the opinion of a rich man. I never did."

„I know, dear. I know." Our way led us to the big saloon, full of laughter and rich people. It wasn't my world, it will never be and still, I'm here.

But every song's like gold teeth,

Grey Goose, trippin' in the bathroom

Bloodstains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room

We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams

But everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash

We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair

I inspected every woman and every man. There were models, actors, politicians, businessmen... rich people. Before I could do my way to a waiter serving the champagne, a young man stopped next to me. Another followed him and flashed a flirtatious smile towards me. Both had black hair, blue eyes and were muscular. They were handsome men. But too young for me.

„Good evening, my lady. You look beautiful." The one with the longer hair took my hand and kissed it.

„I must say, red fits you well, beautiful lady. May I know your name?"

„Lara Jackson. With whom do I have the pleasure?" Before any of them could answer, a little boy stepped between us, he looked like ten, but his hard look didn't belong to a child.

„Grayson, Todd. If I find this woman in anyone's room tonight, I will kill you. We don’t have time for this."

„What do you want, demon spawn?" The child huffed and crossed his arms.

„Father wants to speak with you. Both of you." Both rolled their eyes.

„I'm sorry, beautiful lady. The old man can’t have a fun night. We will see us again." The one with the white streak in his black hair kissed my cheek, the other my hand.

„Idiots. Please forgive my brothers, they don't have any respect for a good looking lady."

„It's okay. And thank you."

„You're familiar", he noticed. I just raised an eyebrow. This child was odd. Just like his father.

„Well, I know your father, Damian." His head shoots up and he frowned.

„How do you know me? Or him?"

„It was many years ago, but your father and I had a great friendship. One day he went missing and the day he came back, he wasn't the same anymore. Still, I stayed in contact with Alfred, he was a great friend and like a father to me."

„Why did my father abandon you?"

„I'm not rich." He looked confused but didn’t say anything.

„He never said something about you. Why not?"

„Again Damian. I'm not rich. I will never be like these models or actresses. I'm just a simple girl, that lived alone with her mother. It was a coincidence, that your father and I met."

And we'll never be royals

It don't run in our blood

That kind of lux just ain't for us

We crave a different kind of buzz

„Then why are you here, Jackson?"

„I wanted to see Alfred. I wanted to see the house since it was my second home. And for the last time, I wanted to feel the atmosphere at a gala."

„It sounds like a goodbye. Why? What did my father do that you are such full of hate?" I looked surprised at him.

„How?", I just asked.

„I know that look. You don't hate my father, you hate that rich life, you hate his behavior. I'm also like this. I hate my mother, well, if you can call her a mother. And I hate my stupid brothers, who get more attention from my father then I do. I know they spend more time with him and know him better, but it’s..."

„Frustrating", I finished his sentence.

„I like you." I smiled and sipped at my champagne.

„Well Damian, I like you too."

„More than your brothers." He smiled smugly and I snorted silently.

Let me be your ruler, you can call me Queen B

And baby I'll rule (I'll rule I'll rule I'll rule)

Let me live that fantasy

„If you see them, could you clarify for me, that I'm definitely not interested? They are too young. Goodlooking, but too young."

„With pleasure, Lara."

I stayed the whole evening with Damian. He was a cute child, but he would never allow anyone to say that out loud. And he looked like his father. Well, almost. His eyes were green, they must be from his mother. But I didn't ask since he made clear, that his mother was a forbidden topic.

After that evening, I spent the night with Oliver Queen. We were both drunk and afterward, I found out that he had a girlfriend. So I did the one most logical thing, I ran away and swore, I will never be just a woman for a night. These times are now past, I want to be someone special, someone, that my mother can be proud of. So I began to search for my father. I never knew or saw him. But I wanted to find him.

My friends and I we've cracked the code

We count our dollars on the train to the party

And everyone who knows us knows that we're fine with this

We didn't come from money

After months of searching and traveling around the world, I found him. Well, he found me. He didn't know he had a daughter. My mother never told him about me. But he didn't abandon me like other people. He gave me a new home, a new task. He gave me a new family. I began to train, train to defend myself, train to defend others, train to kill. Especially rich people who were assholes. I just followed my father's footsteps. You may ask now, who my father is. Im a Wilson now. My father is called Slade Wilson but feared as Deathstroke.

I was educated by the League of the Shadows also called the League of Assassins. Ra's al Guhl himself trained me and let me fight against his daughter, who is the mother of Damian. Talia al Guhl, or whatever they call her. I hate her. I hate her for manipulating Bruce and abandon her son. I hate her for her behavior, I just hate her presence. And everybody knows that. Because I almost killed her. Well, I killed her, but she was brought back with the Lazarus Pit. My father was really proud of me since nobody can stand her. I mean, she is a fucking bitch, she betrayed the League just for a son of Batman. And did so many other awful things. But that's not my problem anymore. Ra's send me to protect his grandson, the heritage of the League. The fact, Damian liked me, made my job so much easier. But I had no idea, how to become one of the Wayne family members. So we built a plan. My father as Deathstroke, would try to kill Robin and Batman, and I would save them both. After all the planning, it worked perfectly.

„Who are you?"

„Your pseud, deep voice doesnt scare me, Batman. You've just could thank me."

„Lara?"

„Hello, Damian. Its nice to see you again"

„I thought you would never come back to Gotham." I fake sighed and crossed my arms.

„Well... I was all around the world. I met your mother and I must say, she is a bitch. Sadly she survived our meeting." Batman huffed.

„And how did you know about the whole hero thing?"

„Talia is a really shitty secret keeper. She told me all about it, in the hope, I would show some mercy. Its nice to see you, Bruce."

„Who are you?"

„Its a shame, you dont recognize me, Brucie." I took my black hood off, also my mask, that hid the lower half of my face. I could feel the confusion of my childhood crush.

„Lara Jackson?"

„What a welcome." I was surprised after he hugged me. Awkwardly, I tapped his back.

„Im so sorry." That was easier than I thought.

„It’s okay, Brucie. It’s okay." Damian coughed and crossed his arms.

„Umm... can I have a bed for tonight?", I asked silently.

„You can have a bed as long as you want, Lara."

„Thank you, Bruce."

„Lets go home." He jumped off the roof, Damian followed him. I turned around and saw my father in the shadows. With a smirk, I followed the Waynes.

But every song's like gold teeth,

Grey Goose, trippin' in the bathroom

Bloodstains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room

We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams

But everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash

We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair

I was now a month at Wayne Manor. Bruce acted a little bit strange but I didn't mind. But what I minded was his big family. He has five sons and two daughters and other family members. They didn't trust me. Richard and Jason always flirted with me, the other women in the house hated me for that. Until one day.

„Hey, beautiful. What are you doin’?" I just rose an eyebrow, a move I would do every day.

„Do you have eyes, Jason?"

„Yes, why?"

„Well, then you can see, I’m reading." He sat aside me and wiggled his eyebrows.

„Mind, if I take this book and we do something?" I tried to ignore him.

„Darlin', I know you would take me. Don't act so heartless even though its hot as fuck." And then I had enough.

„Okay, listen, Jason. I'm not interested to fuck you or Richard. I'm so much older than you, I could be your fucking mother! And if you don't stop, I’m gonna kick your fucking ass so hard, that the pit wont help you come back to life! So shut the fuck up and just let me live my fucking life! Without you or Richard or any playboy." He just blinked.

„How old are you?", he asked bluntly. I slapped him with the book. Jason yelled and ran away from the couch.

„Jason Peter Todd! Come back, you fucking asshole! I'm going to fucking killing you, you dipshit! You don't ask a woman about her age! COME BACK!" I ran after him, passing next to Richard and Tim.

„Jason!", I yelled. „Come back, you motherfucking bastard!" He sprinted downwards, trying to escape. With the speed I had gained, I jumped down and rolled off.

„What the fuck! That woman! Help! Anyone!"

„Shut up!" I tackled him down and began to punch him. Blood spattered out of his nose, ruining the expensive carpet.

„What the fuck?! Lara? Jason?" Dick tried to separate us but he also collected a punch in his nose.

„Don't touch me, you pervert!" Jason managed to escape out of my hold and we began to fight, Richard joined, after I kicked him in his stomach.

„Bruce? Alfred? Anyone? Lara is going crazy!", Tim shouted. He was smart enough to stay out of our fight. I swiped the blood out of my face, not knowing to whom it belonged.

„Still imagining how to fuck me?" Both men grunted, trying to punch me, which I easily caught. My hands gripped Richard's shoulders and I let his nose met my head. He groaned and held his nose, trying to kick me.

„Enough!" I heard Bruce's voice and stepped a little back. Jason didn't stop and punched right in my jaw. I growled and rushed forward, my legs slung around his neck, and threw him on the ground.

„Lara! Enough!" It took Bruce, Tim, and Alfred to keep me away from the second oldest.

And we'll never be royals It don't run in our blood That kind of lux just ain't for us We crave a different kind of buzz

Bruce himself stitched me up, doesn't allow anyone to come too near towards me. He forbid everyone, even Alfred, to come to the Batcave.

„Why?", he just asked. I huffed and crossed my arms.

„Why? Both were flirting with me! Its disgusting! I could be their fucking mother!"

„They are kids, Lara", he sighed and sat across me. I rolled my eyes.

„Kids don’t fight the Joker, Bruce." It was silent, we just sat there.

„Why are you like this?"

„What do you mean?" I frowned.

„You're cold. Towards me. I have the feeling, you only like Alfred and Damian", he almost whispered. I swallowed and tried to avoid his gaze.

„Bruce, I...I had a hard childhood. I just had my mother and you. You were my best friend, my first love. And when my mother passed, I was alone. I know, you were there for me, but not like the way I wanted. I changed Bruce, I'm not the glamorous girl anymore."

„Why you didn't say anything?"

„You were Bruce Wayne, the son of millionaires, the heritage of Wayne Enterprises. I was madly in love with you, I never said something because I was so scared. Scared, that you wouldnt love me back, scared you would see me just like as a friend. So I started to date other boys, boys who gave me attention in a way, who filled the gap my mother left. It was like a drug. I loved the way I affected every man. They gave me love, physically." At the end of my speech, I'd met Bruces eyes. They were soft and full of love.

„Im so sorry, Lara. I never- If I ever would know that...Do you remember your first boyfriend?" He didn't wait for an answer.

„I was so jealous and I saw you at his side it made me clear, you weren't the little girl anymore, who I met at my parents funeral. In my eyes, you were a grown, beautiful and independent woman. That day I realized, I loved you from the first day and still do." My eyes grew big. How?

„You still love me?", I whispered.

„I do." I almost melted at these words. My fucking childhood crush, my first love, loves me. He smiled and leaned towards me. Our noses touched, my eyes fluttered. He stopped, obviously waiting for me. I sighed when our lips finally met. We kissed slowly, without any tongue. It was a romantic kiss, heck, he would top every Hollywood movie. We parted, his lips brushed against mine. Bruce cupped my face with his hands and kissed me again. Roughly. A light moan escaped my lips, my hands tugged his black hair. He groaned deeply and heat rushed downwards all around my body. His arms pulled me nearer to him. Slowly, while kissing him, I climbed on his lap. But before it could go any farther, Alfred cleared his throat. I blushed and tried to hide my face in Bruce's neck while he just chuckled.

Let me be your ruler, you can call me Queen B

And baby I'll rule (I'll rule I'll rule I'll rule)

Let me live that fantasy

Everything was perfect. As perfect as it could be in such a chaotic family. Since I beat up Jason and Richard, everyone tries to not piss me off. I warmed up to the girls and also Tim. Everything was perfect until Talia showed up. She and some traitors of the league managed to break into the Manor and tied the whole Wayne Family up.

„Hello, Lara. Its nice to see you again." A mad smile graced her face. I didn't respond and gripped the handle of my sword harder.

„Why are you here, Talia?"

„Oh I don’t know, maybe to kill you?" I rolled my eyes.

„Besides that." She grinned widely at me.

„I want my son back."

„No." She frowned, the Waynes behind me began to protest.

„No? Who do you think you are? I’m the mother of him!"

„Well, I don't care who you are Talia. You're a traitor and I don't listen to traitors."

„Wilson", she growled.

„Al Guhl."

„My son."

„No."

„I want my son! And I will kill you to get him!"

„Try me, bitch. I killed you once and I will do it again."

„Why are you here?", she asked out of nowhere.

„Classified."

„Really, Wilson?"

„Why is mother naming her Wilson?", whispered Damian to his father. Before Bruce could answer, Talia rushed with a war cry forward raising her sword. I easily dodged, spinning around and kicking her in her stomach.

„You have a deathwish, Al Guhl. Stop it and I will let you go."

„Never, Wilson", she spat and rammed her sword in my leg. I gritted my teeth but fought on. I felt, how my wound slowly stopped bleeding until it closed completely. But the pain was still there.

„How-?", she stuttered.

„You should've known, dear Talia. The reason, why Im a better fighter than you, the reason, why I could kill you. All because of my fathers powers."

„Your father has powers? But he is no metahuman."

„Who said he is a mutant? He's an experiment, he's an improved human. So am I."

„That's why you could learn so fast to fight", she realized.

„Yes. And now, get out of here, or I kill you and your friends."

We're bigger than we ever dreamed, and I'm in love with being queen (Ooh ooh oh)

Life is great without a care

We aren't caught up in your love affair

„Who is your father, Lara?" I sighed at Damian's question.

„Does it really matter right now?"

„Hell yes it does!", shouted Jason. „I want some awesome powers too!" I rolled my eyes.

„I never knew my father, Bruce knows that. And my mother never told him, that she was pregnant. After I met Damian, I began to search for my father. Without any results. Then, he found me. He's a member of the league of the assassins, so he brought me there and I was trained."

„You didn't answer Damians question”, Bruce noticed. I sighed again and shouldered my backpack.

„Because I knew, you all wouldn't like it. Damian, your grandfather send me to protect you. My job is done, I will go back to Nanda Parbat."

„What?"

„No!", they cried out.

„Why? I thought you-", I interrupted Bruce.

„Bruce, I love you. I really do. But I know, when you learn, who my father is, you will abandon me. So I better go by myself."

„Wait, what? Are you and Bruce a thing?" Jason's eyes switched between us.

„We were."

And we'll never be royals

It don't run in our blood

That kind of lux just ain't for us

We crave a different kind of buzz

Let me be your ruler, you can call me Queen B

And baby I'll rule (I'll rule I'll rule I'll rule)

---

Masterlist

This was my first oneshot in english, I hope you like it. You can also find it on Wattpad, there I have the same username like on Tumblr.

I’m aware, that not everything I wrote matches with the personalities of the batfam, I have more knowledge of the MCU and MARVEL. And if something is wrong with my english (my first language is german) please tell me. :)

#bruce wayne #batman #slade wilson #deathstroke #batfam #gotham #talia al ghul #league of assassins #bruce wayne is not so bright #damian wayne must be protected #world's greatest detective my ass #royal #lorde #songfic #justhugefangirl creates {🌹}#justhugefangirl writes {🥀}#oneshot #tw: blood #tw: bad writing

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faunusrights · 4 years

Text

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 21

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SO VERY SLEEPY BUT THE UPDATE SCHEDULE TAKES NO PRISONERS (FOR THE MOMENT):

“So it’s true,” she wheezed between grit fangs—“that bitch really does have you on a leash.”

KINKY,

me: okay lemme refresh on what happened last chapter-- me: /remembers me: oh yeah! yeah that SUCKED,

lets us continue on the journey of deep and immense sadness with glynda ‘clown shoes’ goodwitch!!!!!!!! here we go here we go

It took a while to pry back the jaws of her soul and wrench herself out of them.

ooh i rly like the context change here. before glynda was kinda falling back into her soul as a way of just Getting On With Shit or protecting herself, but now it’s framed in a fun new way of please can i get out of here now. good job glynda. look at u GROUNDING YRSELF like a CHAMP who should have been in a TKO LIKE FIVE ROUNDS AGO--

What did that mean? Had she asked Cinder about Ochre? Glynda struggled to recall, but the memories swirled like clouded ink in her skull.

i still love the continuation of glynda’s Mysterious Messages To Herself. she leads such a thrilling life of ‘did i write that’ and ‘did i do that’ and ‘what does any of this mean’

Hating herself, Glynda found she couldn’t remember.

and also a less thrilling life of the squeaky clown shoes variety. glynda PLEASE

She had to know: was anything Cinder had given her real?

the YOU and the US,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, the DESTINY. dw babe im sure cinder Has Never Told A Lie, Even Once In Her Life, On Account Of Being A Very Open And Honest Person,

Had she been abandoned? Cinder had been unhappy when she left. Angry, maybe. Angry enough to take her leave for good? Or had she always planned to?

i love watching glynda slowly become kind of,,,,,,,,,,,, more aware of herself in relation to other people? sometimes she still Moves or Does w/o rly thinking it thru, but we’ve got quite a change from, like, early chapters of glynda where she was barrelling along with VERY little disregard for both actions AND consequences,,, but look at her now!!!!!!! using her whole ass BRAIN. im proud of her.

When she tried to dismiss this first fear, another one was waiting underneath: had something happened to Cinder?

In her attempts to keep Glynda’s soul from smothering them both, Cinder had been quite willing to converse over the phone with her—even if her texts were short and snippy, she usually at least responded, to avoid backlash. Did she not care anymore? Or—

Or was she unable to?

/leans in, like, uncomfortably close to the microphone

glynda darling i do Not mean 2 worry u but yr (future) gf is currently grieving, pissed beyond belief, and also

/checks notes

failing her way into becoming strawberry jam

But, surprisingly, there was another half to Glynda now: one that worried, despite facts, that Cinder was in danger. That Cinder might need her.

GO AND GET THE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The light caught in every golden thread of her crown emblem, embroidered with diligent precision. But something else caught her eye: the midnight black surrounding it had a sheen to it. Subtle red ducked through the fabric, glittering like burnished stars in a distant night sky: fire Dust.

The flash of a memory: Cinder’s face when Glynda had complained that her last cape had been burned.

This cape would not burn.

okay so no lie i cant read this bit without my eyes starting to water abt just how GOOD this section is and i have cried TOO MANY TIMES over this fic ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T H A N K Y O U F O R T H E F O O D !

CINDER MADE IT FIREPROOF. SHE DIDNT HAVE TO. SHE DIDNT NEED TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THE SYMBOLISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS U N R E A L. I AM CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

GO GET THE GIRL YOU MORON

Glynda didn’t know what to do.

Glynda dialed Winter.

and i am INSTANTLY launched back into the comedy that is glynda goodwitch’s life at large THANKS FOR THE WHIPLASH

“No, I mean… I was awful to you the last time we spoke. I know I was. I keep thinking about it. I’m so sorry, I just… Don’t have anyone else to go to right now. I don’t know who else I’d call.” It was horrible to admit. Loneliness had never shamed her before because her soul had held it at bay. Now it made her sick. “I’m safe. If you don’t want to talk to me…”

LOOK AT THIS CHARACTER GROWTH,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, GLYNDA!!!!!!!! YR DOIN SO WELL BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE COME LOOK AT HER THINKING WITH HER M I N D.

“I lashed out at you, Professor Goodwitch. That wasn’t right of me. I should have known that you weren’t truly to blame for what you said. I know Cinder. She’s manipulative. She twists the world and makes you think she’s a different person than who she really is. I blamed you in the moment, but Cinder Fall is truly the person at fault for making you believe that I would try to hurt you. I shouldn’t have raised my voice or said the things I did.”

/rubs face

like winter needs to be in this fic and og was bereft not having her actually take up 30% of the space as she DESERVES, but god i forgot that shes a whole Thing and winter please just. shush. for a moment. for a second. ilusm. but please shut up.

Glynda was pacing, her Scroll levitating near her.

side note but casual uses of glyndas semblance is one of my fav things i love seeing it. glynda ‘look mom no hands’ goodwitch out here,

Glynda closed her eyes. The tactile recollection of cats arching, bristling, and spitting. Backed into corners. “Maybe she was panicking. I don’t know.”

i dont rly have much to say here other than continuing to enjoy Cinder As Cat, the ongoing metaphor. glyndas just gonna pick her up the scruff of the neck eventually and we will ALL b thankful.

ughghghgb im not gonna copy paste this whole convo w/ winter because this is a liveblog not a shitty projection of the fic on the side wall of a bowling alley, BUT GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD glynda is so WORRIED,,,,,,,,,,, past glynda is befuddled. bemused. why does future glynda Feel so much. but future glynda is FEELING and i love her. das yr gf yr worried abt. DAS HER,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and also yr other gf winter too but like that’s a long-con sort of egg to hatch,

While it had been some time now since Glynda had been in a proper fight, she expected no trouble. This wasn’t Cinder—ergo: this wasn’t a real threat to her. Still, she would bide her time and hold her silence, if only for the chance of getting a hint of what was going on.

This wasn’t Cinder—ergo: this wasn’t a real threat to her.

LADS,,,, LADIES,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, BEANS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, IS IT GAY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, TO SEE YR RIVAL AS YR ONLY REAL THREAT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

The group crossed the room as one unit, guns aloft and eyes peeled, determined to not be ambushed.

Glynda intended to ambush them regardless.

i dont like 2 say when an au gets a character so right that all other interpretations aren’t valid, but.......................... offal hunt gets glynda so right that all other interpretations aren’t valid, and thats that, on that,

One left. Glynda didn’t hesitate. She had been built to fight Grimm; far stronger, far quicker, far more bestial foes than these. She was herself a blade, sharpened far too fine for these intruders.

sounds hot

“Are they...alive?”

Glynda didn’t pause to check.

“Professor? Are they alive?”

glynda: fuck them kids

“How will you get to her?” Winter asked.

“I always find her in the end,” Glynda answered.

hrm,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i wonder if that’s foreshadowing something

Her soul was churning inside her, longing for solace, for Cinder. She could picture the way like a burning trail in her mind’s eye; that bright-yellow tether between herself and Cinder, that pathway between their souls that she had tread so many times before. It always led her to Cinder.

HRM,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I WONDER,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

“Good luck, Glynda.”

“Thank you,” she said again, pausing under the streetlights. “But I won’t need luck. I’ll find her.”

FELLAS,

what a good chapter!!!!!!!!!!! also i cried. BUT I HAD A REAL GOOD TIME. I CAN IMAGINE THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE LESS OF A GOOD TIME, BUT FOR NOW, I WILL ENJOY THE MENTAL IMAGE OF GLYNDA’S BICEPS AND HER FUTURE WEDDING ALSO,

#rwby #offal hunt #liveblog

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penny4mysentiments · 4 years

Text

I’m fucking shaking rn, I just did something really stupid... I really hope it doesn’t scar. Before you people start juging me, this was my only option left. You haven’t felt the pain of watching yourself in the bathroom mirror with tears in your eyes and a knife to your heart, begging yourself to hold on a just a little longer. Feeling nothing, not one emotion, your not sad, mad. The feeling of emptyness, feeling nothing, knowing that you are nothing, worthless, stupid, ugly, knowing you did this shit to yourself because there was no other way, no other option.Reilizing that everyone leaves, and I mean fucking everyone. Not knowing if your gonna even waking up tomorrow alive. Desperately trying to talk yourself out of it, telling yourself “there’s something to live for”. But whatever, not that it matters to anyone....

It wasn’t deep, but it fucking felt actually good. I’m not fucking proud of it, but I couldn’t do anything else. It was either this or kicking that bucket.As I was doing it I was crying, and for a split second my emotions turned back on, by themselfs, and I found myself, not only crying, but trying to cut deeper. It made me feel something, something I haven’t felt in a long ass time. And rn I feel very calm, almost too relaxed, considering what just happened. I’m not gonna say sorry to anyone, because I live by my choices, and I don’t regret a single thing I’ve done.

Why I did it:

I mean if it isn’t obvious enough, my life is fucking shitty to say the least. My mom apparently started drinking again, found that out today. Just seeing how drunk she was, pushed me over the edge. Knowing that it will never, ever, get better. Knowing that I can’t have a normal, well anything, I’m anything but normal, my whole life I’ve been labeled the “weird” kid, and the moment I gained some followers because I was doin something I loved, people started swarming. And at the point, even tho I had many “friends”, I felt the most alone, just like the moment I saw my mother’s eyes, and realized she was drunk again. I FUCKING HATE ALKOHOL, I CANT FUCKING STAND THIS SHIT ANYMORE, HOW MUCH LONGER IS LIFE GONNA TREAT ME LIKE SHIT?!?!??IM SICK AND TIRED OF IT. ONE DAY, I WILL FUCKING PULL THE TRIGGER AND IT WONT BE PRETTY!!! But for now, I have this. Hope it was all worth it.

🍑

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agentdagonet · 5 years

Text

Echoes, Ch. 26

Find it here on AO3

Find it here on tumblr: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25

Fic Summary: Feet dangling off the edge of the bed, hands still resting on the earpieces of his glasses, Eggsy opened his eyes.

And promptly shut them again, screwing them shut like a child who had the distinct misfortune of biting into a raw lemon. Breathing harshly in his nose and out his mouth, trying to stave off whatever delusional panic had befallen him, Eggsy reopened his eyes.

‘Harry?’

Or: The Hologram Story Nobody Asked For

‘You know I love you, yeah?’ Michelle’s voice didn’t waver, but her eyes remained focused on the cup she clutched between her hands. They were sat together on the sofa, enough space that Daisy could fit between them, had she been awake; Eggsy hummed in agreement, mouth preoccupied with the tea they had masterfully made themselves to give them a way not to talk.

They both knew they had to, the way they were going just couldn’t continue for much longer. Something had to give.

‘... I’ve spen’ a lot of time, mum, tryin’ to find a way to explain my shit in a way you’d get it- but, see, knowin’ how to talk to someone means you gotta know ‘em. An’ it kinda hit me that we don’ know each other well ‘nough for that.’ Eggsy sighed, one hand tugging through his hair while the other held the cup on the armrest. ‘Not as adults, at least- an’ I don’t want to be harsh on you, but it feels like you still see me as a kid cos you weren’ really awake enough to see me when I was one.’

‘I know your age, Eggsy-’

‘It ain’t about age, mum- least, it’s not about the number. It’s about where my head’s at, the age I am here,’ he brought the hand from his hair to hiss temple, ‘an’ here,’ his heart, ‘not some numbers.’

‘I don’t understand.’ It’s quiet, muttered around the lip of her mug, with a furrow between her brows. ‘I know the estates and… and Dean,’ she swallowed heavily, ‘weren’t very forgiving or anythin’ but we got by.’

‘When Harry came by and told you about dad,’ Eggsy turned fully toward his mother, who was buried in her mug and growing tenser by the moment, ‘when he gave me this medal cos you were just gonna toss it out of spite,’ Eggsy pulled it from his shirt and over his head, laying it on the cushion between them, ‘he told me to take care of you.’ Michelle’s head shot up, eyes wide and mouth slightly open.

‘The first time Harry ever saw me, he knew who we were- dad talked about us constantly. He knew the news he was going to deliver was awful and that nothin’ could replace what he saw as his having taken from us. He blamed himself- he fought tooth an’ nail to get that medal for us against every regulation there was- and he knew you weren’ gonna accept help from anyone but he gave me the medal anyway. Told me to take care of it- and you.

‘I didn’ really get it at the time, but then you just… didn’ get up for a while. I had to go to school, I had to eat, and you didn’t seem to hear me askin’ you about that stuff. I didn’t get a buncha stuff at school and you wouldn’ help me so I ended up talkin’ to my teachers and figuring it out me’self. I started figurin’ my own food- an’ then I started figuring yours. Tried to pester you into much of anything but it was just so hard. An’ then you started dating again- or, well, going out, an’ I had a whole new challenge.’

‘It weren’t all that, babes-’

‘Mum, I love you, but it was. My fears for Daisy, the reasons I didn’ tell you when I found out what really happened to dad, aren’ just nightmares an’ shit made up. I don’ want her havin’ to do even a fraction of what I did at her age. The fact that you can’ see, even now, everythin’ that was wrong back then scares me.’ Eggsy lifted his mug back to his face, barely sipping as an excuse to pass the buck for a bit.

‘I just… I guess I can’t put it all together in a way that makes sense, Eggsy. Harry- the one who told me about your dad’s death, who died ‘imself, and then wasn’t dead- his guilt ain’t yours, and I don’ get why you’d be so torn up abou’ the death of a man you barely knew. An’ keeping secrets is one of the few things I know the estates taught well, I don’ like it but I understand that bit. Mostly. Still hurt, tho.’ Michelle sounded entirely lost, and wished desperately for a cig or a stiffer drink than tea- but she was trying not to rely on shit like that anymore.

‘Harry told me to take care of you- so I did. Not that I really thought he existed for a bit there, to be honest. Without the medal I’d’ve chalked ‘im up as a figment of my imagination. I just knew that someone ‘ad given me an important job, and I was gonna do it. But, to be honest mum, you’re tough as shit to take care of. I started to give up, an’ I went off to the Marines to try an’ make something of myself for me. Figured you was okay, what with a live-in boyfriend an’ all, but that weren’t the case at all, cos-’

‘Daisy.’

‘Yeah, mum, Daisy. You called up me in a panic, bangin’ on about losin’ me like you lost dad and I dunno if you really knew what you was doing. Maybe you weren’t doing it on purpose- I hope you weren’t-’ the last was murmured, ‘but you used my takin’ care of you against me. You pushed every button, pulled every trigger, and then- d’you remember the last bit o’ that call? I can’t forget it.’

Michelle shook her head, mug forgotten on her lap.

‘You tol’ me that it wasn’t like I could make a career out of that anyway. You just… dismissed my choices like they didn’ matter a whit- I was nearly twenty, mum! Did you know there’d been Olympic scouts at my gymnastics practises? That girly shit Dean said was a waste of money coulda gotten us out of there, no medal necessary- I liked gymnastics, but someone else said different and you leapt to please ’em.

‘You didn’ really treat me like a person; you didn’ explain or ask what I thought or even talk to my coaches. One day I was doin’ something amazing and the next day I was told we were never going back there again, and yeah I wasn’ an adult but I’ve never been an idiot, mum. Just. Over an’ over again you showed me that I wasn’t the most important thing in your life, or even like top five sometimes, so I stopped tryin’ to be. I let Dean get to me, let ‘im use me to run his shit and whatever the fuck else he wanted to keep ‘im from goin’ after you or Daisy an’ I stopped trying to find a way out.

‘I gave up, got myself stuck, an’ Harry just abou’ dragged me back into bein’ a person again withou’ even knowin’ it! He was a right prick about it at first- said he though’ dad’d be “bitterly disappointed” in me.’ Much to MIchelle’s confusion, Eggsy grinned his way around the words and huffed a laugh. ‘He was actin’ on the assumption that my life choices were my own- but I set him straight quick. Got me goin’ off about posh arseholes and silver spoons, an’ looking back I think he was a bit proud I didn’ hold my tongue, but then Poodle and the boys showed up. And, well, you know what happened after that. Fuckin’ Dean, and Harry saving my arse cos I refused to grass on ‘im even after… well, after everything.’

‘I think you’ve gotten off topic, Eggsy. I don’t need a step-by-step of you ‘n Harry-’

‘Except that’s exactly what you asked for, mum. You don’ get why his death fucked me up so badly an’ I’m tryin’ to explain it to you- but you don’t really want to know why it affected me so badly- you’se wonderin’ why his death affected you long after you’d put ‘im and his message from your mind.’

‘Now wait a minute, Eggsy- I ain’t lying to you about wanting to know shit. I’m not lying about wanting to understand why his death put you in such a state. I’m not making shit up about not understanding and trying to understand you. I don’t get it, I’m trying here,’ she wiped at her eyes angrily, refusing to look away from Eggsy despite the state she’d suddenly put herself into, ‘but you’ve got to give me something to work with, babe! You’re going on about bein’ grown up and at the same time you‘re harping on about shit I can’t even remember!’

‘EXACTLY!’ Eggsy jumped to his feet and threw his hands up, thankfully having dropped his empty mug to the ground beforehand, ‘That’s the fucking problem, mum- you don’t remember. And, maybe, what you do remember somehow measures up as not as bad as some other shit but I don’t have that luxury! You know what I remember? You, blacked out on the couch; you, lettin’ Dean’s boys paw at you in the livin’ room; you, turning away the first time Dean hit me; you, ignorin’ Daisy crying for hours until I gave in and got what she needed.

‘And, yeah, I know shit was tough- I’m not tryin’ to compare sufferings or some other bullshit- I know you think you were doing the best you could; I know you think you did the best you could with the shitty hand you were dealt. I know.’ Eggsy stopped, took a deep breath in his nose and out his mouth, lips pursed tightly, and did it again. Again. Until the red faded from his face and his heart slowed down enough to feel rational again.

Michelle hadn’t moved. She tried to convince herself that she was listening out for Daisy moving about in her room, what with the ruckus, but adept as she was at lying to herself it wouldn’t stick. This man in front of her was a stranger to her- she knew he was her son, but she didn’t know anything about him, apparently. She didn’t know his goals or his struggles, she didn’t know his friendships beyond the tangential moments they crossed her path directly; how was she ever supposed to bridge this gap she hadn’t known was there?

‘Eggs-’

‘Let me finish, mum- if I don’ do it now I don’t think I’ll try again later.’

‘Okay.’ She swallowed heavily, hands so tight around the mug she was surprised it hadn’t shattered, and waited.

And waited.

‘D’you know what I don’t remember, mum? I don’t remember dad’s voice. I don’t remember his laugh or much of anythin’ about him to be honest. Sometimes I think I see him when I’m asleep but I dunno how much of that’s just my head making shit up with the one picture I’ve got of him, and how much of it is an actual memory I can’t get to when I’m awake. I don't want to find out how much of it's all in my head, honest. An’ maybe all that’s not the healthiest start to a relationship, of any kind, but it’s a sight better than drugs and a meal ticket.

‘Harry didn’t save me, and fuck knows he was a right arse at the start of it; but my refusing to grass gave him enough reason, I guess, to give me the chance to prove myself. He threw every one of my biggest regrets, especially the ones I didn’t get a choice in failing at, in my face. An’ then he turned it about in a way only someone used to getting his way can- he told me to jump. And I said “why not” instead of “how high” an’ he was glad for it. He didn’t give me shit besides a chance; he didn’ tell me what was goin’ on ‘til it were too late to turn back and let me prove myself. Not to him, but-’

‘To yourself. He… He took you away from everythin’ that held you back an’ let you push yourself. He let you figure yourself out without any of us stoppin’ you.’

‘He believed in me, mum; and, yeah, it all started cos he figured he’d as good as killed dad himself but he let me figure it out myself. Never treated me like a kid or like I was less a person for bein’ different- and I fucked it up anyway, mind, but he let me try- and then he died and the one person who’d believed in me was gone. An’ the last thing I’d said to him was accuse ‘im of havin’ dad stuffed somewhere in his house like one of them pinned butterflies. He went straight off for America from that fight, an’ then he died-’

‘And you blamed yourself.’ Her Eggsy, if she could call him that to herself without wincing, had gone and fallen into the same pit Harry had after Lee. He slumped back into the sofa, head hung low, and Michelle took the moment just to look at him. To see the way his jaw clenched and unclenched the same way Lee’s had when he was upset. The way Eggsy’s eyes had the same tilt his dad had had. All the little pieces of Lee that Eggsy had no idea he’d inherited because she’d refused to talk about him and brought people into their lives who forbade it. Because she’d... let her grief consume her.

‘Well, now I know what Merlin was on about,’ Michelle muttered to herself, one hand propped against her chin, ‘when he said I’d let my grief consume me. I didn’ even see you was strugglin’ more than I was, babes, cos it was different. I ain’t gonna claim that I get it now,’ she shook her head and a self-deprecating laugh escaped, ‘but I’m gonna say that I’m gonna try and see that I don’ understand and that’s okay.

‘I know I didn’ do right by you, Eggsy; I know I let other shit be more important and I pushed you away cos you reminded me so much of Lee that it… it made me angry. How could I keep bein’ who I’d been before, when he was gone? And I didn’ even realise that I was takin’ it out on you. Or,’ she corrected herself, ‘maybe I did, but I didn’t want to admit it to meself. I spent so much time tryin’ to ignore everything that’d changed and not enough trying to figure out how to be your mum- a mum, actually- after everythin’. You kept gettin’ bigger and then you were grown and leavin’ me and I just… panicked.’

Eggsy refused to meet her gaze, one hand clenched tightly in a fist while the other rubbed itself aimlessly against the sofa cushion. He’d always known his mum was fucked up; the older he got the more obvious it was that she’d just had all her strings cut when his dad died and she let just about anyone make choices for her cos she couldn’t handle the responsibility of being a person. And yeah, having the explanation helped and all, but it was a bit like finding out that Snape’d been a dick because he was a spy and loved Harry’s mum- it was a good reason, but it wasn’t an excuse. It didn’t make things better in retrospect, it didn’t make him happier to know; it didn’t bridge the gap she’d dug between them. It was a good way to learn what not to do- but didn’t help much when trying to figure out what TO do.

‘I don’ think I’m ever gonna understand, Eggsy, but I don’ want you avoiding me- or Daisy- cos of the shit I did before. Or didn’ do. I ain’t gonna claim to fix it or anything- but I want to try an’ do better; I want to learn how to be… well, maybe not a mum- think you’re a bit old for that, an’ that’s where I fucked this up in the first place. I tried to push you to talk an’ you weren’t ready, or maybe just not ready to talk with me ‘bout it, cos I thought I knew best. And it’s pretty obvious here that I don’t. So, maybe I can learn to be your friend- one that’s got a load of stories to teach you what not to do.’

‘You’re always gonna be my mum, tho. You fucked up, a lot, and I’m tryin’ not to… to project my past onto Daisy cos you’ve changed. V-Day made us all re-think a lot of shit, in a lot o’ ways, and I know you’re trying. There ain’t much to drink here, you’ve been chattin’ with Harry and takin’ Daisy to school and being a proper person. I can see it. But, sometimes, seein’ you trying makes me mad as hell- cos why wasn’ I enough to try for?’ Eggsy felt a tear escape, traitorously run it's way down his cheek, but refused to wipe it away. He was allowed to feel, damnit.

‘Oh, Eggsy, there was nothin’ you coulda done. You did your best- I just… wasn’t quite there yet. I couldn’t see past the moment I was stuck in like- like your bloody snowglobe, that one Lee brought home for you his last leave. Everythin’ was fine long as I didn’t leave that bubble and tha’s on me, babes. My shit ain’t your responsibility, an’ that goes double for your guilt over Harry. Obviously his dying didn’ stick, but you’ve gotta let that shit go or you’re never going to see eveythin’ that’s in front of you.’ Michelle thought briefly of Harry the first time he’d come by, how lost he’d been when she’d just brushed aside his guilt like a stray bit of dirt where it shouldn’t be. ‘And I ain’t talkin’ about being grateful- I know you’re plenty grateful that shit’s landed as it has, love- but you… I dunno, maybe it’s just cos I see you so little with that “tailoring” job,’ Michelle mimed the quotations with her fingers, ‘but it feels like you’re doin’ the same shit I did, but, like, the opposite. You’re tryin’ to keep yourself in that moment back when shit wasn’t all fucked up, an’ if you’re moving forward it’s fuckin’ slowly.’

‘Like you’re one to talk, mum.’

‘But tha’s just it- I was doing that. I was stuck and stickin’ there and I didn’t even care I was doing it ‘til some madman decided to shove my faults in my face in a way I can only thank every god above and below Daisy doesn’t seem to remember.

‘Learn from me, Eggsy- don’ get stuck just cos it seems safer.’

‘I don’t know how to be safe, mum- I just know how to get from one crisis to the next.’

‘Good thing you’ve got the time to learn, then. Even if you’ve got yourself a group of folk who prolly don’t know any better than you do.’ That seemed to cut loose some of the tension, both chuckling and bumping shoulders, and when had the space between them shrunk so much? Physically, mind, but hopefully they’d started filling in the emotional gaps.

They sat in silence for a while, finishing off their now-so-cold-it-was-a-little-gross tea and clearing the sitting room. They got up to wash their mugs, stood comfortably beside each other at the sink, a happier echo of tense moments past. Michelle didn’t want to leave anything for Eggsy to wonder at, cos chances were that they wouldn’t ever speak like this again. This was the only chance she’d have, probably; but even if it weren’t she needed to know that Eggsy had heard her.

‘I need you to know that I mean it when I tell you I love you, Eggsy. I don’ really know how to love you, now, but I know it’s there- I just can’t express it right, I guess. And I’m so proud of you- you grew up so much when I wasn’t looking. When I was lookin’ away on purpose. But you’re an amazing young man and I am so proud of you- even when you won’t tell me all about your fancy dangerous job and I have to imagine what’s goin’ on.’ Eggsy smiled ruefully and scrubbed a hand at his neck, cheeks flushed but unrepentant. Michelle smiled and slowly opened her arms, wriggling her fingers to goad Eggsy into her embrace- which he did without protest, and she lifted herself just enough to reach his ear and whisper the words she couldn’t bring herself to say to his face.

‘You’re so much like your dad; you’ve got his justice and his fury and I’m gonna try an' tell you that more often. You deserve to know that you’re doin’ him proud- and he deserves to be remembered.’

#dagonet writes #echoes fic #Kingsman #kingsman fic

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fagsex · 7 years

Text

Im sorry mituna made me do it

Four, three, two, fuck you. Listen up y'all, this shit is chronic Tatsumaki's beats are best suited to members hooked on phonix Honlicious definition makes the server loco They want to know the secrets that they can't see in my photo Dyin' just to know the flavor I ain't doin' them no favors No reasons why I tease em Cold syrup rush just comes and goes like seasons. I'm honlicious (so delicious) Yeah, I do do kismesis. But if you read any fanfics All that shit is fictitious. I blow kisses (mwah!) Don't matter if we're just moiraills Mods be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail (Four, three, two, fuck you.) So delicious (super sweet) So delicious (fuckin' kin with gamzee) So delicious (even crusty wants a piece of me) I'm honlicious (l-l-l-l-like candy, candy) Honlicious def-, Honlicious def-, Honlicious def- (goddammit, Roger, stop fucking around with my mic-) Honlicious definition makes the mods crazy. Crusty's always squealin' Cutesy pet names like fucking gamzee I'm the h to the o, the n, then the l And the majority of the server is fucking hell I'm honlicious (so delicious) My body stays vicious All the server's feelin' nervous 'cuz I'm typing this moment I'm go gonna own em (*whistle*) Bet that shit hits crustys kink And he'll be needing all the towels 'cuz I'mma make him sweat sinks (Four, three, two, fuck you.) So delicious (super sweet) So delicious (fuckin' kin with gamzee) So delicious (even crusty wants a piece o' me) I'm honlicious (now you nooksuckers hold the fuck up, check it out) Baby, baby, baby, If you really want me, Honey get some patience. Maybe then you'll get a taste. I'll be tasty, tasty, I'll be laced with lacy, It's so tasty, tasty, It'll make you crazy. T to the a, to the s t y - fuckin' tasty, t to the a to the s t y - fuckin' tasty D to the e, to the l I c I o u s, to the d, to the e, to the, to the, to the-- I'll just spell it out for you! All the time I'm typing, people in the server gather round always yellin at me, wanna guess the new name of the server I just wanna say it now I ain't trying to round up any drama, little fucker I just don't want you to know. And I guess I'm coming off as just a little insecure although I keep on repeating how the secret's fucking awesome. But I'm tryin' to tell, it's a secret that I just don't wanna tell. Crusty says I look... Delicious (so delicious) Yeah, I do do kismesis. But if you read any fanfics All that shit is fictitious. I blow kisses (mwah!) Don't matter if we're just moiraills Mods be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail Four, three, two, fuck you. My body stays vicious The server's been feeling nervous 'cuz I got down to business Crusty's my witness (*screaming*) I'll even let his first comment sail Just watch that kinker be the first in line to fill a pail So delicious (cali, see) So delicious (you can trust me) So delicious (I'll help you be) I'm honlicious, l-l-like candy, candy It's so delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay) So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay) So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay) I'm honlicious, (they say my kins are shitty, shitty) T to the a, to the s t y - fuckin' tasty. T to the a, to the s t y - fuckin'tasty T to the a, to the s t y - fuckin' tasty. T to the a, to the, to the, to the, to the, to the, D to the e, to the l I c I o u s, to the d, to the, e to the, l I c I o u s, to the D to the e, to the l I c I o u s, to the d, to the e, to the-- Now, wait just a motherfucking second! Do I seriously have to spell this shit until the end of the fucking song? I mean, whoever fucking wrote the original never had access to spellcheck I guess Because t-a-s-t-e-y does not spell tasty. Was this fergie douchemuffin illiterate or Something? What do you mean human rap artists are the only ones brave enough to write their own Grammatical trainwrecks and call it music!? What the fuck even is will smith doing? He doesn't throw down sick fires anymore!? Fuck this shit, I quit. @honl (iworkedhardonthisshitjude)

#discord shit #honl #honlicious

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fitzykreiner · 7 years

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To me, what really pisses me off is how Shamier was treated this season. Like you said he may have had other projects but you can work around it and not just have him appearing just to be in episodes but you can actually give him a storyline. And the thing is, they need him so fucking much, he saves the day almost every single time. Then he just disappears because he doesn't get any recognition for all that he does for everyone. There were so many opportunities missed. It's Problematic as fuck

yep!!!!!!!! that’s what i’m saying -- fine, the actor has other projects going on, that doesn’t mean you have to then half-assedly write the character. :/

im putting a cut bc im just gonna answer all these asks that y’all sent me like a week ago,

What I really hate about this whole situation is how hardly anyone is calling them out on their shit. Like shit how do people expect us to feel watching this show as POC's when the POC's on this show are treated like shit. Idc if they add another cast member and they're POC, it won't take away from the fact that one of them is a lead and constantly sidelined, one is now a villain and was treated like shit and one is only there for comedic timing and to give googley eyes at doc.

“one of them is a lead + constantly sidelined, one is now a villian + was treated like shit, & one is only there for comedic timing + to give googly eyes at doc” you........just hit it right on the fucking head there. im so pissed. dolls was treated like an actual nuanced main character, then he wasn’t. rosita was given an AMAZING story by having her be a revenant yet be kind and just tryna live her life, then they decided to somehow pull off the double trope of “poc sacrifices themself for white friends” + “poc is the villain”, like what kind of racist two birds w one stone kinda bullshit.......and then ya, jeremy. he’s never really been anything but comedic relief apart from the few hints that he’s got an interesting past + him saying that he never left purgatory bc he doesn’t fit in there but no one asked him to fit in anyway .

What hurts even more is how all three POC characters have been used to prop up the white male character. Dolls has just been sidelined the whole season and am I supposed to believe that wynonna didn't give two shits about him in the finale when this is the same woman who fought so hard to save him in 2x01. Rosita was treated like shit from doc. And then Jeremy treats him like he can fucking walk on water. I didn't mind him but this and his fans have made me hate doc with a passion now.

it really feels like there’s a divide in the writers’ room between who likes wyndolls(+dolls) and who likes wyndoc(+doc) bc its just.......one or the other whenever either make an appearance. like i feel like when an episode is written by a person who prefers wyndoc, dolls barely makes an appearance or is mentioned maybe once, and vice versa lmao. i really wish they would make up their minds instead of having one wyndolls episode, then a wyndoc episode, then a wyndolls episode, ad infinitum. plus ya this season had way too much doc praise from everyone imo.................whoops

I know you don't hate doc but what makes me even more mad about him, is that he constantly makes mistakes and treated people like shit. Like how tf does he get away with this constantly??? Yet whenever Dolls makes a mistake it's the end of the world and he needs a talking to. I really don't know if I can carry on watching this I want them to pick a ship and just stick with it (hopefully wyndolls) because the whole triangle is convoluted as fuck and it's making me dislike the show.

i think doc has truly grown from who he was back before the well happened, but he still is an asshole and can be a shitty person (esp re: rosita lmao). i think he’s a flawed man and that’s... acceptable, but what i don’t find acceptable is that, like u said, he’s never called out on it. in order to deserve all the praise he got from every character this season, he really should have apologized to ppl abt things he’s said and done.

lmao.......u know why dolls’s mistakes are treated more seriously and actually brought to his attention vs. doc’s mistakes.......You Know Why

I just wanna say thanks, it feels good to be able to rant like this, so many people treat this show likes it's perfect when it's extremely problematic at times. I'm fucking praying, like down on my knees praying that they don't carry on this romantic wynd*c bullshit in S3 and this love triangle because wyndolls is far superior and shit I think everyone knows it. I think a lot of the fandom is a lot more receptive to their relationship because it's so beautiful compared to that mess.

no probs im always here for u to rant to!!!!!

Coming from a hardcore wyndolls shipper this shit has really hit me hard. Trust me I know they're a fictional character and it's just a show but I've been through so many times of my fav characters (who happen to be POC) either getting sidelined or killed off and I'm not sure if I can deal with it anymore. And the person who I'm really upset for is shamier. Because shit man he deserves so much better. This has actually made me lose so much trust in the writers and I have no hope left for S3.

listen u don’t have to come here and justify why this has affected u so much to me, i understand completely. a lot of people (including me) cling really tightly to some fictional worlds & characters and when the creators fuck up it hurts. also ya shamier no doubt deserves better, tho im happy he’s out doing other things too, not just being wasted by wearp

I was just reading all your asks on the finale and I remembered wynonna telling doc that she never would've kissed dolls if she knew doc was back and I'm just like... what! That whole sentence just contradicts one of the main themes and relationships of S1. Listen I loved the moments that we got of wyndolls in S2 but this forced wynd*c relationship has me feeling so disappointed in the show. when S3 is back on I'm just gonna wait to see how dolls/wyndolls is treated before watching. I cba

rip i just had to look up what “cba” meant bc i thought maybe u ran out of characters and misspelled a word and i just never got the second message alkdfjalkdsalk

no really that so came out of left field bc like???? wynonna + dolls were being built up the entire first season, it was all leading to dolls admitting his feelings and them kissing. (remember when wyn dared dolls to admit that he cares for her?? and he couldn’t? so she called him a pussy and walked away???? then he finally did admit that he needs her in the finale? im crying) wynonna + doc was just them learning to trust each other and fucking in the forest that one time, there was nothing OVERTLY romantic abt their relationship compared to wyndolls.

I just don't get how they expect me to believe that forced ass relationship. She literally looks at dolls like he's her whole world, and when he came back she looked so relieved and happy again. I hate love triangles in shows and this season especially has made me intensely dislike doc, especially after 2x03 with that whole "I ain't doing it for him" comment. And his treatment of Rosita and his actions during 2x06. I cannot deal with this shit and I really don't trust them anymore, not at all

oh ho hohoho boyyyyyy i forgot abt the “i aint doin it for him” which, first thing, is such BULLSHIT, doc cares abt dolls, it’s been established. anyway, im this whole ask,,,,,.

#wearp #xavier dolls #wyndolls #doc holliday #im still bitter if it wasn't clear #also sorry these responses are more than a week late #anon #asks

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hagiographically · 7 years

Text

summer qtr review/thoughts

buckle up kiddos its gonna be long -- this is mainly for my benefit tbh (tw for ed talk but as usual, no detail about behaviors)

but i feel like i tumbled less this summer and tbh i think that is ?? probably good

anyway

the quarter started off horrifically bad because i deteriorated a lot in florence. like, im so happy i went to florence and i experienced so many things and got so much braver and more confident, but i didn’t realize those positive effects until many weeks in, and they didn’t develop fully until i’d left

but i lost like..... at least 15 pounds without trying to or even realizing

surprise! italy is triggering for eating disorders....who knew....not this stanford-educated bitch right here....

anyway i was half dead when i got home to new jersey. i figured this summer i’d have to Actually Recover, and i’d dropped out of my program in south africa to be at stanford, catch up on my major, and get my shit together health-wise

That Did Not Happen, Unsurprisingly

having a disorder means.....the worse u get.....ur brain cares less about recovering....so I hit my lowest weight ever a couple weeks after getting back to ol’ stanf

it sukked cuz summer is triggering because it’s so beautiful and warm outside and like !!! shorts!!! crop tops!!! but anyway i hauled ass to the doctor to make sure i wasn’t going to die

she said “libby you are going to die very soon if you keep doing this”

but!!! that was the go-ahead i needed to flip the switch into Recovery Mode(tm) and i went to cvs the next day and bought hundreds of dollars worth of vitamins and supplements and safe foods because it was an Investment or whatever

and like......it’s been rocky. I’ve slipped up countless times. I gained 10 lbs in the first week and that was super scary lol so I relapsed, and then half-recovered from that, and since then it’s been a tug-of-war with the mental illness goblin

BUT that being said, the whole process has been kind of fun/motivating in a weird way, like I was a scientist and my body was the experiment, and I was just throwing data points into it and seeing what worked.

and ????? Some Things Worked !!! and it really awakens my sense of curiosity to see what things help me-- the nutrition and supplements helped my mood, energy, relationships (kinda? who knows what it would’ve been like otherwise), academics (same as relationships), confidence, etc. it even changed my personality i think, or at least minimized the things i didn’t like about myself and let me cultivate the things i like

like for example, i’m actually.....not an introvert i don’t think? i was talking to my mom about this yesterday -- she thinks she’s a 60/40 E/I and I’m the opposite, so we’re both ambiverts with different leanings. I identify as an introvert because I like solitary activities bc I’m used to being alone, but I realized this summer that.....being alone isn’t always good for me because it awakens mental illness goblin, but also I ??? really like talking to people and I’m good at conversations ??? I met lots of non-Stanf people from going out so much and it was always really refreshing and cool and I got energy from it....definition of an extravert

had conversations that really cemented my current values - got to talk about my classes and how much i loved them, how much the shallowness of bay area tech bothers me, how much i loved italy (florence is so hazy to me rn!! bizarre), regional differences in psychology (my passion tbh) and it just feels so good to care about things wow !! is this what it’s like to be neurotypical? no wonder yall are out there doin it

so I am not recovered in any sense of the word but I am so. much. better. I reduced a hella lot of behaviors, rarely felt depressed, and achieved pretty much everything i wanted, even though this was my sixth straight quarter of college and if i hadn’t done this self-imposed health regimen i don’t think i would’ve died, but i would’ve eroded and probably dropped out of school to go back to residential

should i be getting professional treatment? i think a lot of recovery blogs or experts would say yes, because they’re of the mind you can’t half-recover, and treatment comes before education, etc. and i don’t completely disagree and maybe once i graduate i’ll agree. but. i know that right now i want to be in school. i cannot fully recover on my own, but on my own is the only way i can get pieces of everything that i want.

i’m healthier and happier because i made the best grades i’ve ever gotten at stanford (easy-ass classes for sure, but i’m still glad i performed as well as i possibly could. it’s a point of pride for me that even though my illness can get really severe, it’s never impacted my grades.) and i still did lots of really fun things! it was less social than last summer, where i went out every other day, but i still went to santa cruz beach boardwalk, an ed sheeran concert, a gay club in SF, SO MANY bars in downtown palo alto (at the point where multiple bartenders recognize me), a play in redwood city, coffee shops and dinner dates and sunlit morning walks to class listening to jukebox the ghost and happy-buzzed from green tea.

i’ll just say it, my fashion was kinda lit this summer....i was very physically confident, which is mixed because i might be romanticizing unhealthiness even though i am healthier than before. who knows. i am in transit

i feel like i didnt socialize as much this quarter with my actual close friends but instead met lots of one-time people and like, it was really nice meeting new people, bc when the people are always changing, i can see which elements of me stay the same. and getting to know who i am now is so interesting because tbh?? ive been through a lot this year (and also with, like, life) it’s so weird thinking of myself As A Whole when anything more than a year ago feels like a fever dream or made up story....anyway!

i did get to see my friends fairly frequently and i’m grateful for every time i did because i’m v lucky to have anyone in my life when i change as much as the fricken weather

my friends who loved stanford before are more over it now, and its funny bc i used to hate it but now im used to the school so i dont anymore. im a senior, i know the school well, ive been a member of so many clubs, been to so many on campus houses, explored the area extensively, taken a variety of classes….im not totally out of FOMO but its so reduced that im confident with what ive done there, and my ego isnt as threatened by other people bc i know i have my own kind of value. it doesnt matter if its objective or not bc how i feel is ultimately what matters

like its not all about what i feel if i dont do anything about it. but ive done some stuff! and im trying to make the shitty interpersonal stuff better! its going!

was able to read and write a little bit which is neaterino ! and i liked my job at the library, it was fun and easy

anyway if i think too much about it i’ll trip out because thinking about life sends me into existential despair, but this was a good quarter. up there with sophomore spring for my favorite/happiest/best feeling quarter? probably even better than soph spring because i was sick for most of the spring. every quarter has ups and downs and this was no exception but the downs didn’t feel as debilitating and the air didn’t feel like a fire blanket for once, and now that i have some strategies under my belt i can’t imagine things ever really getting that bad for a while

#THIS IS LONG IM ANNOYING!#writing #stan #idk how i tag these #summer17

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transformationstuck · 7 years

Text

8etta than )(er

Vriska carefully crept through the red halls of Her Imperious Condescension's palace, looking for anything of value to steal. She had gotten it into her head that it'd be an excellent way of gaining fortune and prestige, and that the Empress would never be able to stop or catch her.

As of now, she had found her way into the respiteblock of the fish queen, and was rummaging through her personal effects for anything of value. And boy did she find lots. She'd have a lot of work cut out for her just trying to cram all this gaudy jewellry into her sylladex. Just to lighten that load, she worse some of it, even if it was far too big for her.

The Condesce was surely in for a sight when she made it into her respiteblock, only to find some young cerulean blood wearing lots of her gold.

Alternia's leader was briefly stunned, unable to believe that anyone would have the outright audacity to steal from her. Astonishment quickly turned to rage, however, as she stomped up to the comparatively tiny troll rummaging through all of HER precious belongings.

"an just what the S)(-ELL do you think you doin you little blue blood BITC)("

The entrance caught Vriska by surprise, and she turned to shoot a shocked expression at the Empress. For about eight seconds, she didn't even know what to do, simply kneeling in stunned silence, partly at the fact that she was even still alive. Then, she got what was either the best or the worst idea she had ever had, save for the one to rob the Empress, of course.

"Uh. I'm ro88ing you? What do you THINK I'm doing????????"

Vriska hoped refuge in audacity would save her life today.

It wouldn't.

The Condesce reached down to grab Vriska by the neck, effortlessly plucking her off the ground even with all the heavy jewelery she was wearing.

"i bet you think you funny huh, little mindfang jr here think she pullin a fast one on me"

The Condesce tightened her grip around Vriska's throat, ready and willing to snap her neck and just be done with it. Until...

"you know i got a better idea, somefin i been wantin to try for a while"

With that, HI)( promptly turned around and marched out of her block, Vriska still held in a vicegrip.

Despite being briefly flattered at the allusion to her ancestor, Vriska was far more panicked, struggling against the Empress and her grip, working frantically to free herself.

It was only after the Condesce had decided against killing her, at least on the spot, that Vriska realized she still had something at her disposal.

Coughing and attempting to get enough air to pull off a badass one-liner, she shot a strained grin at the Condesce and put her hands to her temple.

"Actually, I think you'll 8e putting me down now."

Was it beyond cocky to think she could use her mind control to bust down the will of the Empress of all trollkind? Maybe.

Did Vriska care?

Not even in the slightest.

Without breaking her stride, The Condesce glanced in Vriska's direction, her eyes briefly flashing as she easily deflected Vriska's attack, and just to show her who was in charge, shot off a psychic shockwave of her own at Vriska's.

"you aint got S)(IT on me"

Vriska screeched. She hadn't expected the attack to be very successful, but she hadn't expected such a powerful backlash, either. What the fuck had the Condesce even done to herself to be able to do that? Or was she always this powerful? It sure as shit wasn't public knowledge, either way.

"F8CK. Okay, point t8ken. G8ess that's wh8t I get for trying."

Striding through the hallways of her enormous sanctum, HIC finally arrived at what appeared to be her destination. A strange laboratory environment with all kinds of mechanics and fluids sprawled around the area.

The Condesce casually chucked Vriska into the center of the room, before locking the door behind her. Then she walked over to one of the operating tables, looking for something.

Onto the floor Vriska tumbled, as if she were a discarded ragdoll. She was still pretty hard though, and scrambled back up to her feet with little effort. To the door she went, attempting to suss out how to unlock it before the Condesce finished whatever she was doing. Surely it had to be possible, since she locked it from this side. Right?

Unconcerned, by whatever Vriska was attempting to do, HIC finally found what she was looking for. She held up a rather nasty looking syringe, filled with a greyish liquid, and grinned. Time for a little experiment. Turning to face Vriska, she slowly advanced on the troll, cackling.

"ayy blue girl you about to help me learn a lot about science, dont you go nowhere"

Vriska's frantic fiddling with the door only intensified as she heard the Condesce approach, until at last she gave up on the door and decided to do the next best thing.

She decided to run around the room and throw whatever she could get her hands on at the Empress.

Really, there were probably better things to do, including submit, but she was too panicked or too proud to consider them right now.

"oh i know you aint running when i told you not to"

Unflinching, HIC knocked aside everything that Vriska threw at her as she walked forward, drinking in the panic she could feel emanating off of her.

She entertained the chase along through the lab for a bit, enjoying toying with her prey, until she decided she had had enough and quickly seized Vriska's body with her telekinesis, forcing her to slowly float towards the queen.

Vriska thought she'd at least be able to keep up the game for awhile longer. Might've tired out soon, and definitely first, but she expected to be reduced to pulling shit out of her sylladex before she was captured. And when she was, it was via... Telekinesis? Since when could the Empress use telekinesis? This bitch had secrets up the wazoo, apparently. Not that Vriska could blame her, but she still hated it.

At length, she struggled against the psychic hold, to no real avail.

"Ugh, fuck! H8w are you DO8NG this???????? And what 8s that? Some kind of n8w super poison?"

"psh if ida wanted to kill you youd be dead already, naw think i can use you better when you alive"

With Vriska floating just in front of her, HIC held the syringe just up against her neck, to taunt her, to take in as much of her fear as she could.

"i hope you ready for a brand new you"

Though there was fear, Vriska attempted to mask it with a sneer and a glare. Still she struggled to move, struggled to reach out for a nearby mind, struggled to do ANYTHING.

"8rand new me? What the fuck are you 8la88ing a8out?"

"you just wait an see"

With that, she plunged the syringe directly into Vriska's thigh, injecting all of whatever the strange fluid was.

She dropped Vriska to the floor in a heap, her legs shaking from... something.

Down to the floor Vriska went again. She was getting pretty sick of that.

"Stop DROPPING me like that!!!!!!!! Yeesh."

Grumbling, she attempted to pull herself to her feet, hoping she could at least do this with dignity. Simultaneously, she attempted to steady her legs, and watched them carefully for any further developments.

A silence fell over the room as both trolls stared at Vriska's legs. Nothing seemed to be happening, even after a minute of the standoff.

The Condesce sighed. Another failure. Guess she'd just have to kill this little thief after all.

She lifted her hand to grab Vriska by the throat again until she heard a small crackling noise and looked down again. Vriska's comparatively little legs seemed to be... expanding.

"W8, hold on, l8ts talk a8out this!"

Vriska reeled back, too little too late, and held out her hands defensively. Only for her to notice that her legs were... Changing? She looked down at her expanding limbs and blinked.

"........Wh8t."

That was all she could say at the moment as confusion and fear wracked her. Where was this even going?

The Condesce cackled.

"oh we done talkin, now i get to play wit my new toy"

She grabbed one of Vriska's outstretched arms and yanked her up to the air yet again. Suspended in the air, she watched as Vriska's legs continued to grow, not just in height, but also changing shape, becoming tight and curvy and shapely, not unlike HIC's own. The legs were about twice as long as Vriska's torso by this point, having shredded her pants and giving her a bizarre set of proportions.

Vriska didn't really struggle much anymore. Perhaps realizing the futility of it. Or, perhaps, she was far more concerned with how her legs were developing, going from short and lanky to thick, long, shapely legs. Not too dissimilar at all to...

Well, that didn't scan at the moment. She didn't imagine the Empress would do anything like that intentionally. A length, she could only imagine she was being made older.

"Okay, lemme guess. Some kind of growth acceler8ion thing? Real effective at skipping over that childhood 8ullshit. I can sort of understand it. Not really liking it, 8ut fuck, not like you care a8out my opinion, right?"

"why would i wanna older version of you inna first place, you already a knockoff a mindfang an i damn sure dont need another her"

HIC reached another hand to wrap around Vriska's waist and hips, which paradoxically, both seemed to be expanding and shrinking at the same time, growing outward to match her legs, yet tightening up into an hourglass figure. Vriska felt the squeeze both from the change and HIC's hand.

"Sides, im way hotter then she eva was"

The pieces clicked together with those last words, and Vriska shook her head.

"What. Seriously? You're making me some shitty 8ody dou8le of you? I mean, not like I'm not flattered, really! 8ut that seems really stupid."

She was hardly flattered, of course. She didn't mind the new figure, and honestly, she kind of enjoyed the feeling of her flesh expanding and contracting. It was almost sensual. Exotic. But everything that came with it? Fuck no.

She only hoped the body would be all there was to it.

"you undaestimate how useful you gonna be to me, imma busy troll i cant do everyfin myself,

you gonna be a good me an help out, but dont get any ideas, im still the bass around here"

That said, it was getting harder to hold Vriska as her size continued to increase, but Hic managed to cup her hands around the blue-bloods tits and ass, squeezing and prodding them as they inflated out to match her own endowments.

Being let loose, if only slightly, Vriska redoubled her efforts to wriggle free. This didn't come before her chest and rear were enhanced, however. The feeling of flesh expanding, well disposing of what was left of her clothes, and growing all the more sensitive, brought a small moan to her lips.

"Oh my G8D, The whole 8ody dou8le thing was one thing 8ut this is just getting perverse!"

The slightest change in her tone went, for the moment, unnoticed to her.

"its all part a the show for me, you comin along just fine"

As Vriska continued to grow, she finally got too big for for HIC to carry in her hands. The Condesce once again dropped her to the floor, although this time she had less length to fall. Vriska's still oddly-proportioned frame scrambled slightly, only to stop once more as her arms stretched out on either side, growing into strong slender copies of HIC's own appendages. As all this continued, Vriska only grew taller and taller, as well.

Now on terra firma, (Alternia firma?) Vriska slowly pulled herself to her knees, looking over her new arms, slim and soft, but muscled and bearing strength. The stretching and cracking in her body was almost empowering, really. She could feel her physical strength mounting by the minute. She couldn't help but feel over her naked body, admiring the contours and size of it.

"I mean I GU-----ESS you're right, Though... Ugh, get O8T OF MY H8AD!!!!!!!!"

Feeling a creeping specter of the Empress passing over her, she sets her hands to her temples again, now applying psychic pressure to... Herself? Unorthodox, but it seemed to fight things back, if only temporarily.

"ayyy you likin that new power huh"

The Condesce grabbed Vriska by the mouth and forced her to look at her. HIC had to admire the Serket's determination. None of her other experiments had fought even half this hard against their fate. Still, the inevitable would come eventually, and she would be consumed.

"you gonna like bein me"

Vriska's horns, still relatively tiny on her much larger body, suddenly shot straight up matching the massive prongs that HIC proudly displayed, as her body continued to bulk up.

Their eyes met, and despite herself, Vriska couldn't look away. There was a strange twinge of familiarity in that gaze. Like looking into a mirror. Indeed, as her horns reshaped and grew, that'd only amplify. The pressure on her scalp, the dull ache of her muscles as they grew and strengthened.

All this culminated in a series of grunts and groans, as Vriska's control over herself began to rapidly decline.

"I........ yeah i guess youre right, its feeling nice already, not too different actually, but different enough, where it counts"

Vriska's already bushy hair grew out in a flash to resemble The Condesce's billowing mane. The Condesce grinned, as Vriska's face was all that remained.

"i wanna get a close look at this"

Lightly, being gentle for the first time of the whole experience, HIC used her telekinesis to bring Vriska to a standing position.

"i wanna sea 'you' fade away"

Vriska's face, the last vestige of her former identity, began to morph and reshape before the Condesce's eyes.

Slowly but surely, the change took place. Vriska's bone structure cracked and shifted. Lips plumped out. Eye color changed. Soon enough, her face was a mirror image of the Condesce's. A familiar smirk came to the clone's features.

"Whale, hope you enjoyed the show o g me, cause blueblood thief bitch is outta here"

The Condesce crossed her arms and laughed. What a success! Now she had effectively double the muscle behind her throne.

"good shit,turns out imma genius and beautiful as fuck both, good thing you know who the alpha whale is round here tho, wouldnt want us havin a problem"

The new Condesce scoffed, as if the suggestion were absurd.

"bitch please, you dont go makin another one a yourself an not expect her to turn into competition, fortunately i got the perfect cure for this predicament, sea not all a this bitch is gone, some thinkpan shit is still sittin around, and guess what i can do with it"

With a wicked grin, she combined Vriska's psychic acumen with her own, and attempted to force her way inside the alpha article's mind.

Old school HIC reeled back, not expecting the power that suddenly slammed into her brain. This was impossible! She was the real deal, not this copy she made herself.

"fuckin slick ass glubberfucker, thinkin you can take M-E!? you gotta nother, thing….urk"

Despite the psychic energy she was expending to fight back, The Condesce was being slowly surrounded by an unfamiliar feeling: helplessness.

The cloned Empress grinned, slowly moving toward her soon-to-be thrall, hips swaying almost hypnotically.

"shhh its aight gill, its ocray to admit you fucked up, youll be mine to do whatebber with soon, and youre gonna LOV-E it"

A well-manicured hand was put to the original's chin, and her gaze was tilted to meet her creation's.

The original stared at her oppressor as she struggled to maintain control of herself. There she was, herself, in the nude, taunting her, forcing her down in a way she had never even thought possible.

Reduced to begging as she felt her body fail her, she gave off one final plea:

"Please… stop… this aint how it was sposed to be"

Said oppressor simply shook her head and tsked in disapproval at this.

"man how pathetic, thought we were betta than this, ah whale~. ILL be betta than you ever were, dont you worry"

With a final kiss on the forehead, she gave her progenitor the final push into total obedience.

Drained of her power, and overwhelmed by her opponent, The first Condesce stood silently at attention. Internally she was screaming, agonizing over the fact that she had lost everything because of her own stupid pride. On the outside, however, she was stoic, waiting for her next order.

With that, the new Empress of Alternia snapped her fingers authoritatively.

"aight slave, first order a business is gettin me some jams to wear, cant go out naked like this no more, then were gonna plot out makin this empire bigger and betta than eva, or i am, you just be a good slave an do what i say"

With that, she confidently strode out to meet her new future.

-Discord Writers (an RP log between one of the discord users - transcribed.)

#homestuck #vriska serket #the condesce #identity death #mental tf #personality tf #physical transformation #tf transformation #hourglass expansion #homesmut #discord writer

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deli-counter · 7 years

Note

Do the evens or the odds or bof.......

im doin the odds papa!!! thankie!!! (you know the word bof gets me)Is a kiss considered cheating?

Is a kiss considered cheating? Yeah girl If you could have one superpower, what would it be? shapeshifting Tell us some funny drunk story. Never been drunk baby!! One time I got floaty because I drank like three gulps of a mike’s hard lemonade by accident and I immediately started looking up spring onion salad dressing recipes If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? poison that acts instantly or dying in my sleep Do you like someone? no sadly not anymore :/Do you like your body? not really…I like parts of it If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? pay 4 my tuition and let me transfer anywhere I want If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? sandwiches Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? I freak out pending money on anything so idk When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? genuinely dunno? maybe like a friend did a few weeks ago?Do you keep a journal? yeah but I need to write a lot more often Is farting in front of people irrelevant? what the fuck Are grades in school important? yeah until college then it’s like…just power thru I’m a theatre major. But I’ve always cared a lot about grades What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? dunkirk was p goodDumbest lie you ever told? my dad is alec baldwin and the dude believed it Something you did and you are proud of? playing wendla in spring awakening for a lot of reasons Something you are good at? cooking How are you feeling right now? blah What do you need to be happy? who fucking knows ! !What was the last gift you received? my mom got me some sweet lil soaps when she went on a girls’ trip to the beach!! What was the last concert you went to? I’ve only ever been to one concert and it was the american idol concert the season Carrie Underwood won. I didn’t even want to go Who inspires you? My sister How old were you when you first got high? never been high When was your first kiss? I was a sophomore, 16 years old, on Valentine’s day lol I had my first date ever then Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? got involved with anyone I have been involved with romantically Who are you most comfortable around? my immediate family What kind of books do you read? anything? a lot of creative nonfiction or fiction or fantasy or murdery stuff but probably mostly classic literature What is your favourite flower? belladonnas, japanese cherry blossoms, lilacs, or hydrangeas. OOOH AND CREPE MYRTLE!!!!What kind of people are you attracted to? tall professors, asian fathers, designers with turtle shell glasses, any of these kind of types Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgusts you? Cottage cheese, tinned tuna, olives, and hard boiled eggs. Something you find romantic? Gentlemanly gestures that are probably old fashioned but have gone out of style and should just be common knowledge? Like flowers or something small, when men ASK to kiss you, dressing up when seeing each other, i like that thoughtful shit!!What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? not doing this baby I’m not gonna overgeneralize What are you saving money for? my student loans and Europe Are you actually a good person? Why? I think so but I’ve done shitty stuff and I have flaws but over all I think I’m a good person (cue Heathers opening monologue)Have you ever done anything illegal? nope not that I know of Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? yeah sadly Have you ever cheated on someone? no what the fuck !! I’ve been cheated on thoIs there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! @rossgellerfanclub @circa-1987 @kayleefabulousFavourite TV series? 30 Rock always but I am SO into iZombie rn What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? honestly dunno, I mostly read script now How long have you been on Tumblr? maybe 6 years? ew McDonalds or Subway? McDonalds, Subway is pure garbaggio! I have 100 reason why and am very passionate about this Alcohol or drugs? Neither tbh Meaning behind your blog name? I do theatre and I’m pretentious Last time you were insulted? Yesterday lol Perfect date idea? fun restaurant! museum! dessert! What colour are the walls in your room? the pantone shade of green that is color of the year. I called this shit 8 years ago Share your favourite quote. “in that ignorance I had knitted a new sweater, and she was something spectacular.” or “from my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity.” Do you like horror movies? Yes and no, I’m picky and ridden with fear and anxiety but I’m fascinated with horror culture and usually do like to be scared

Do you feel lucky or special in a way? idk, not lucky

#asks

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baconpal · 7 years

Text

since ive been complaining about shit already tonight i might aswell just mention random crap that i’ve been thinking about, but ill spare your dash, feel free to read me rambling about absolutely random shit if you want

first some video game stuff i guess;

the good: I don’t have a switch and still definitely cannont justify getting one yet but woo boy does ARMS look good, i wanna try it, and also splatoon 2, i really liked splats when it was first out, and martyo kart, but its p spensive stuff and im a cheap-ass

the new thing code vein thing is simultaneous promising and incredibly boring to me, cus anime styled action game with the potential for cute girls to be wielding giant fucking weapons is like, my dream, and the boss designs looked pretty good, if a bit unrelated in the trailer, like the moose knight dude is fucking sick and i wanna use his armor, but then there’s also like, abyssal spear lady miku whose fucking cute, and they’re shown right after each other and it becomes a bit hard to follow, and the story seems to be just fucking dark souls “wah we go hollow and the world is a fuck”, i wish it wasnt that, cus dark souls alone made that setting overused, and while a modern-ish universe certainly sounds nice, it looks fucking bleak and they spend half the video in places that just look like bluer versions of DaS3 areas

the bad: so ive already complained about momodora 4, some people like it for some fucking reason but i dont, and now 5 is happening because they cant just make a new fucking series i guess, and it looks awful, like honestly horrid, its fucking shitty 3d when nobody asked for it, and it’s like, all the worst parts of something like dark souls, and none of the good parts and it angers me to no end that they keep dragging this sorta cute and okay free game series into the mud like this when they could make new games and try new things

the ugly: i never funded or thought about supporting indivisible because i had zero fun with the demo and i never really cared for any of the designs other than the redesigns of other characters from other games, and maybe the big fist girl, who didnt really fit in the style to begin with, but now they’re going and doing major redesigns and model updates that just look stupid and lifeless, like “wah wah diversity” drama aside, that cowboy guy went from a gritty, perfectly decent design to like, fucking nothing, he’s nothing now, i cant even identify him as something because he’s just nothing, and the entire cast seems to have been stretched up for no reason, and now a lot of the interestingly wide characters arent very interesting anymore, im not mad about it cus i never planned on getting it, but as an artist when i see artists take a very solid and nice character/design and just make it fucking awful, it makes me mad, especially cus i’ve seen some artists i used to know do it too, not starting drama or something it just seems pretty dumb to take things that are nice and people like and make them into different things when you could just make a new thing and have both

also uh like my friend showed me this jap band called uplift spice and at first i thought they were meh but i cant stop listening to them now its fucken cute rock stuff and it kills me

now art stuff. these are the things i really wanna talk about but they’re really just me problems so if you’ve already made it this far maybe you’ll care about this random shit

so like commissions have gone decently recently, not complaining about nobody wantin em or something, but for the longest time i’ve had people ask me about commissions, ask if there’s slots open or something, or even straight up say they intend to commission me, and then i’ll never fucking hear from them ever again ever, and like, if you just ask “hey got slots?” doesnt mean i expect you to actually get a comm, but it usually suggests there will atleast be a follow up response like “okay thanks but nevermind” or “ok cool ill be contacting you soon” and then actually following up on it, cus without any closure i just get stressed out thinking about why they never get back to me, are the prices too much? are they worried i won’t accept the comm? did they fucking forget i exist? did they get hit by a car? like even if you fucking told me “nevermind i dont want a comm you’re fucking SMELLY and i HATE YOU” i’d feel better cus at least i wouldnt worry about it for a week or something, none of the people reading this are likely the kinds of people who do this, most of them dont even follow me, but cmon man why you gotta make me worry about this shit

and last thing probably (hopefully jesus what am i even typing all this for) so like now that i’m doin comms more to support my own ass i’m really not pushing for requests in my inbox since a lot of them i’d never do anyway unless i got paid, but at the same time, i really liked drawin the ghost lady for that one ask, cus nobody is ever going to comm me for my own characters unless your one of my super good friends and youre just looking for an excuse to give me money, if you DID honestly comm me my OCs i’d fucking love you that’d be sick, but regardless i think that the only requests ill end up doing anymore are cute megalo1 and 2 ideas or stuff of my OCs, but i dont even know if you guys remember or like any of them, i actually have way more of them than i post because i like to design for fun sometimes, but like other than maybe neon idk if any of my OCs are know to any of my followers other than good friends, so idk if you guys would even care enough to request my OCs, but they’re mine and they make me happy so if you wanna see more of them or ask questions about them or anything, feel free to send me asks or messages or whatever, it’d be cool

so ye that’s all the shit im thinken about right now, if you actually could read all that you’re fucking weird and i like you

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darklarru · 7 years

Note

all of them. just fckin.. all of them. every single question. 1-100. good luck comrade.

fuck u, here it is:

1. Is a kiss considered cheating?

-if theykiss a boy idm.

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?

-yeahlmao

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

-shapeshifting

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?

-I fuckinhope so

5. Tell us some funny drunk story.

-oh man,ive only been smashed once, and it was a night full of regrets and a lot ofcheating and gay stuff happened.

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?

-u knowwhat. fuck my ex, he was a manipulative cheating cunt and he broke up with meover snapchat.

7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be?

-bathtuband sleeping pills, im out painlessly.

8. What are your current goals?

-be asuccessful bitch and build myself up.

9. Do you like someone?

-wheneverI think of feelings I take a shot so idk..

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?

-my ex.

11. Do you like your body?

-eh imgetting there

12. Can you keep a diet?

-no lmao

13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?

-don’t discriminateagainst sex workers and treat them like actual people.

14. Do you work?

-yep, gota retail job and everything.

15. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, whatwould it be?

-ayesalad, bc anything you cut up and put in a bowl is salad, so pizza salad, fruitsalad, ice cream salad, anything.

16. Would you get a tattoo?

-hellyeah, im actually thinking about getting this floral one on my thigh, gottalike, tell my mum tho.

17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?

-theperson I love,,

18. Can you drive?

Ive onlyhad like, one driving test ever.

19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?

-at therink on Friday? Someone said I was beautiful and that my ex didn’t deserve me:)

20. What was the last thing you cried for?

-when I drinkI don’t cry, so ive been drinking a lot.

21. Do you keep a journal?

-yep,serves as my receipts.

22. Is life fun?

-ehhhhitll get there.

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?

-I don’t reallycare, just warn me so I have time to get out of there.

24. What’s your dream car?

-somethingI don’t have to use petrol for.

25. Are grades in school important?

-justnail ur finals and ur good.

26. Describe your crush.

-its tooearly homie

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?

-WONDERWOMAN HOLY SHIT A+

28. What was your last lie?

-im fine

29. Dumbest lie you ever told?

-idk, I normallytell the truth, its such an effort to lie.

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing?

-no I doit all the time lmao

31. Something you did and you are proud of?

-Teamedup with my Best Friend and Absolutely Called the shit out of my Ex out andfuckin roasted him.

32. What’s your favourite cocktail?

-I haven’tdelved into cocktails too much yet, ive been drinking straight.

33. Something you are good at?

-iceskating?? idk

34. Do you like small kids?

-I hatekids so much

35. How are you feeling right now?

-There

36. What would you name your daughter/son?

-daughter:Lavender? Idk I just watched matilda and I was like what a pretty name, andboys: Christian?

37. What do you need to be happy?

-abillion dollars

38. Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?

-my ex

39. What was the last gift you received?

-does mycoworker buying everyone hot chocolates and frozen cokes during their shiftcount as a gift

40. What was the last gift you gave?

-a fidgetcube?

41. What was the last concert you went to?

-panic atthe disco in January :D

42. Favourite place to shop at?

-ittotally was this gothic shop in Newtown, but then it moved and I don’t knowwhere it is anymore :/

43. Who inspires you?

-myselfbitch

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?

-18

45. How old were you when you first got high?

-never

46. When was your first kiss?

-when I was15? 16?

47. Something you want to do until the end of this year?

-be amermaid, like fr, go follow mermaid_shelly on Instagram no joke.

48. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?

-dated myex

49. Post a selfie.

-heres alink instead: http://darklarru.tumblr.com/post/161374174865/cat-cafe-aesthetic

50. Who are you most comfortable around?

-my BestFriend

51. Name one thing that terrifies you.

-to loseeverything I worked for

52. What kind of books do you read?

-haventread a book in so long, but I like the fantasy genre

53. What would you tell your 12 year old self?

-girl,girl, u gay as fuck

54. What is your favourite flower?

-roses!!

55. Any bad habits you have?

-speakingquietly

56. What kind of people are you attracted to?

-peoplewho think the same as me

57. What was the last thing you cried for?

-my ex :/

58. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?

-pickles,what r they doin, get outta here

59. Are you in love?

-yeah imalways in love

60. Something you find romantic?

-tealightcandles

61. How long was your longest relationship?

-like 3or 4 months

62. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?

-wereso,, bitchy.

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

-they don’tknow what the fuck is up, they don’t listen, they always horny, theyre kindaviolent, theyre more hardcore and aggressive physically.

64. What are you saving money for?

-anothermermaid tail,,, but also a house I guess

65. How would you describe your bad side?

-emotional,angry, violent, temperamental, not thinking,, idk

66. Are you actually a good person? Why?

-sometimesI guess, I try not to be shitty, but some people fuckin deserve it.

67. What are you living for?

-a future

68. Have you ever done anything illegal?

-probably

69. Do you like your body?

-yeahsometimes

70. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?

-notunless we were fighting

71. Ever sent nudes?

-whohasnt

72. Have you ever cheated on someone?

-I cheatedon a guy with girl and I was very drunk, but then we said same sex cheating wasokay

73. Favourite candy?

-redfrogs, gummy bears

74. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!

-imbarely on this hell site

75. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?

-adarkroomwas one of my Faves

76. Favourite TV series?

-w.i.t.c.h.what a Classic

77. Are you religious? Does God exist?

-yeah, imchill w god.

78. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?

-I haven’tread a book in so long yall.

79. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

-kudos tothem who r doin it but I really love chicken.

80. How long have you been on Tumblr?

-sinceyear 9, so like, 2013

81. Do you like Chineese food?

-I am Chinese

82. McDonalds or Subway?

-subwayyyy

83. Vodka or whiskey?

-fuuuuuuck,,,fucking love vodka but it makes my face screw up in a bad expression, and I lovefireball whiskey, but like, vodka gets me fucked up faster.

84. Alcohol or drugs?

-alcohol,don’t do drugs kids

85. Ever been out of your province/state/country?

-ya

86. Meaning behind your blog name?

-I lovetypos

87. What gets you up in the morning?

-spite.

88. What are you scared of?

-a lot ofthings

89. Last time you were insulted?

-wednesday

90. Most traumatic experience ?

-my bf atthe time, was fuckin, chewin his toenails in his mouth, and I forgot bc he wasbein sweet n he stuck his tongue out to touch mine, n I stuck mine out too n I fuckni,,.,,,. touched the toenail w my mouth I nearly threw up, I felt my soul ejectfrom my body for a second.

91. Perfect date idea?

-picnicdaate, and watching the stars and cuddling

92. Favourite app on your phone?

-instagram?I check it the most.

93. What colour are the walls in your room?

-white

94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?

-daviddobrik tbh

95. Share your favourite quote.

-ifsomeone tells you that they hurt you, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.

96. What is the meaning of life?

-when thestreets are empty and the moon is shining and nobody is awake and its chilly,but your alone and maybe the wind is blowing through the grass, or whatever.

97. Do you like horror movies?

-fuck nah

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?

-I signedup for Netflix and didn’t tell her.

99. Do you feel lucky or special in a way?

-I amspecial

100. Can you keep a secret?

-ya justmake sure u tell me its important.

#asks

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the-coolest-mallard · 5 years

Text

Homework Woes

Yes, you guessed it. Louie and his experience with homework.

Words required for Lena: 2006 exactly

There were days like today where Louie desperately wished he could just drop out of school and become a gangster. Or maybe he’d ditch school and join a circus. Or somehow out of the blue he’d make it big in a rock band and never have to study for any test or do any homework ever again. Oh how badly he wished he could do any of those things instead of stare down the assignment that Mr. Lyons had given them because he hated his students. Louie was sure the guy had to be hating them.

And okay, Simba Lyons was a cool dude when he wasn’t teaching. But teaching meant that he gave Louie stuff to do, and Louie didn’t like stuff. Especially not stuff about the medieval times and the days where people smelled really bad and thought kings were the shit. Maybe the kings had the shits, but Louie was fairly sure not a single one of those old farts was any good. The only dude that was interesting was one of the Henrys, and only because he went full psycho!

But no, here was Louie, stuck writing a paper on some asshole King Richard III. Well, he was doing his best. But Uncle Donald was working, and Huey was off doing who knew what, so Louie didn’t really have any good helpers to make sure his work made sense so far. As he glanced down at what he had, he couldn’t help but be dismayed by his efforts.

Rihard the third was burn the youngest sun and was considred to be a loser. No one cared.

Well, at least Louie could kind of sympathize for the dude. Like Louie, he was the youngest probably talentless guy who nobody really cared about. Though he would guess that this Richard dude could probably spell better than Louie could. His letters were all over the place. He was all over the place. He was pretty sure this Richard dude caused a big family drama, but he wasn’t sure that he had the right family drama written down. He knew about the Henry that chopped heads off, but that wasn’t the Henry that Richard’s family was against. At least he was pretty sure. Why did English history have to have so many repeated names for royalty? It was so damn confusing!

Okay focus Louie. Focus! He told himself, eyebrows furrowing as he glanced at the textbook he had, as well as extra material he’d researched on academic sites online. Well, he’d found an article or two before he’d completely lost focus and started playing games on his computer. But he was getting there. Slowly. Probably. Well he had like two sentences written in his draft. That was two more than there had been an hour ago. God help him. Louie was going to die writing this paper, he was sure of it.

For a moment Louie found himself tempted to try to reach out to Mark. Maybe he’d text Mark about how the next guy to die by crazy medieval death would be Louie! Or he’d text Mark and tell him that he couldn’t do anymore of this paper and that he should come over. Or he should send Mark cool pictures of himself and insist Mark send some back. Anything other than actually work on this medieval paper for History class. “Okay...okay if i just add this part here. This part is important I can do that and it’ll be...yeah.”

Richard’s bro Edward became King of England after people bitched about who was sposed to be King. He becm King Edward IV on March 4th, 1461. This made our guy Richie a royal prince.

Louie dropped his pen and sighed, staring at the tragic abyss that was all the blank space of his notebook. He’d had to ban himself from his computer to write it (though it would have good spellcheck, because there were just too many ways to distract himself on there) and now he felt like his hand was going to die. He’d only written a few sentences. God, why couldn’t Louie be smart like his brother? Or at least let him be smart for these occasions where it kind of mattered? Louie dreamed of getting through this paper with minimal crying.

His head jerked up at that, and he found his fingers already twitching for his phone. Speaking of crying, Louie should text Tae and see how bad off he had it with this whole thing. He was pretty sure Tae would hate this just as much as he did. Louie debated over what to say, before he grinned and just sent: ‘couldn’t give a fuck bot dis Richard dude. Howre u doin with ur old fart paper?’ Louie then forced himself to set his phone aside again and stare at the words on his computer screen. This Richard dude dealt with a fucked up situation. That part Louie had been able to focus on. It was just hard to write about said fucked up situation without writing it terribly.

He already knew what comments he’d get with this: decent fact finding, but could stand to write in a more academic way. This is a research paper, not a casual conversation among friends. Stuff like that. He’d probably get more shit than that, but Louie was pretty familiar with all the red marks and comments he got for his shitty work. “Ugggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh,” Louie whined, throwing his head back and slumping in his chair. How did smart people do this? Louie struggled so hard to get through a paragraph!

Maybe he should try music. Louie hadn’t considered that option yet, but it was definitely one that could potentially get him through his paper. Music had to be it! After all, spotify had all kinds of study playlists and shit, things to help someone get through the work they were trying to do. Maybe Louie would do that. So he went ahead and switched on one of those study playlists and started reading stuff on this Richard dude again. But then the music was so calming, and Louie’s eyelids started drooping. His head started to drop, and then the next thing he knew he was jerking awake and looking at the clock.

“Oh shit! You slept for an hour Louie? Oh goooood why am I such a fucking idiooooot,” he moaned, putting his head in his hands and shaking his head desperately. This was so bad. Louie was so doomed if he didn’t get this paper done by midnight. He had four hours left or something, but he needed every damn second of that time. Writing all of this was so much harder for him than other people. Other people didn’t struggle to keep focused on one thing for as long as Louie did. He was going to fail and end up as a horribly sad janitor and everyone would laugh at him. Louie could see a tragic future.

So he decided he was going to pep up his mood a little. He took a nap? Now it was time to play some lively music and get back into it. Louie turned on Green Day. Louie started bobbing his head enthusiastically, glancing over at his computer to see what he could add about this Richard guy. If he were truly honest, the history was kind of interesting, but Louie still couldn’t keep himself focused enough to get through it more efficiently. He was on to the next little segment for himself, eyebrows furrowing as he debated how to put it.

Richie becm duk of gloucster n a knight of the roun table? or just a knight? something bout a garter. He was placed in a house of the kingmaker guy and grew to be an adult there i guess. ADULTS WERE 16. means im an adult and-

Louie cut himself off. Not important for the purposes of the essay, but he did debate over coming at his uncle with that. Like, ‘listen Uncle Donald, I know there are some dumb rules here, but I’m an adult in the medieval world. I can do what i want!’ Yeah, that probably wouldn’t go over very well, but Louie liked to believe he could have more control over his life. It gave him a satisfying feeling. Or the pretense of satisfaction. Much more satisfying than working on this thrice cursed paper for History.

He tapped his pen against his chin, tilting his head as he tried to review some more notes and stuff when an absolute bop of a Green Day song came on. “Oh shit, gotta turn that up.” Louie turned up the volume for his speakers and got to his feet, dramatically playing the guitar for the song. It was too good to ignore! “I walk a lonely road the only one that I have ever knowwwwwwwn don’t know where it goes but it’s home to me and I walk alone!” Louie belted it out, not caring about who would here because well, apparently none of his family was around to help him suffer less. He rocked the air guitar, letting his head rock with it and himself pretend he was the amazingly talented Mike Dirnt. He forgot himself for a song before sighing and heading back towards his table and misery. Why did history have to suck so badly?

“Okay Richard, man...couldn’t you help a guy out and write this for me?” Louie suggested with a laugh, shaking his head as he glanced down at what he’d written. He really didn’t have much at all. He was doomed to a life of failure and crime probably. While his brother Huey became Prime Minister or some shit one day, Louie would be nothing. A no good hoodlum or a janitor or a tragically broke musician or something. The longer this went on the more depressing his future looked. He could cry. “Right so so...war of the roses started again right? It stopped chilling out....when.” His eyebrows furrowed, glancing at his paper and the computer with a sigh.

The rose war started up agin in 1469 when Richard and King Edwrds bro n the kingmaker guy Warwick were like ‘f u Edward’ n seized control of Eddie an his gov. Our dude Richie stayed loyal cuz he wasnt a piece of shit bro.

Louie glanced over what he wrote and shrugged. Was it informal? Yes. Did he basically know the history of this dude? Sort of. Mostly. Honestly, at least Louie was making the story more accessible. Maybe this paper could be his Hamilton. He was just offering it to the masses. The masses wanted information that wasn’t horribly bland and basic! Louie was totally delivering on that. In his opinion anyway. He was still probably going to fail this paper.

But he had made it so far, so Louie let himself keep trying, figuring he still had a few hours leeway to make it sound more “academic” and “boring” rather than his actual writing and thinking style. Why were academic people so lame? Louie sighed, leaning over his paper again to start writing.

Warwick n the dumbass bro reinstated one of the Henrys...3? 4? who the fuck evn knows? 5? Before our man Richie and his bro King Eddie came back n KICKED ASS MAN. Took the throne back after a year lol bitches u tried.

Louie rubbed his eyes tiredly, getting up to go grab himself a snack. He was working hard. He was doing better than usual. Usually by now he’d have given up and just started playing games (or called Mark to do something actually fun). Instead Louie brought himself some crisps, a can of soda, and some chocolate for when it got too depressing to last without sweetness. He could do this! He could do this right? As it got later he started to debate the merit of selling his soul and offering it to Mr. Lyons. Maybe then the dude would go easy on Louie’s best effort. He really had tried.

#bdrplabors #lmao this one's actually really fun #louie physically paining me with his lack of interest in medieval history #this is so funny though #his ADHD kicking in of course #but also just #imagine explaining history like this #lmao

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