#but thats another post altogether

[s0fter-sin]

god the way ghost’s voice drops when he tells soap, “you’ll need to improvise to survive”

before that, everything he says is steady but when he acknowledges that soap’ll have to do something outside his skill set, something he intimately knows to be difficult, his voice wavers. he does the same when he says, “welcome to guerrilla warfare”; it’s sombre and serious in a way he doesn’t act for the rest of the mission. if you read into it enough, he almost sounds apologetic; like he knows exactly what soap’s about to go through and wishes he didn’t have to

he keeps soap going; poking at him and making jokes, giving him tips and asking about his progress. he never lets him stop and take a second to think bc he knows the moment he does is the moment it'll all hit him; the betrayal, the pain, the fear, the deaths, all of it will drown him and if that happens, soap won't make it

he needs him to be a soldier through and through and he knows this is one of the worst kinds of battlefields you could end up on

and the only times he slips is when he acknowledges that fact

it happens again when he says, "tryin' to get you here alive and in one piece". his jovial dark humour facade drops for just a moment when he has to face the potential reality of losing soap. then he tries to pick it back up again with, "one of us has to survive to tell the tale"; completely discounting himself as a survivor to try and rally soap and make him think it’s all down to him

and soap does the same thing

when he's calling out for ghost on the radio, he's tentative, testing the frequency, then when he doesn’t get a response, he grows desperate; "ghost, this is 7-1, do you copy?"

then when ghost answers, he smooths out his voice; he hides the pain, the fear, and no matter what response you give to ghost asking if he’s injured, soap brushes it off (“i’m good”, “what’s the difference?”, “i’m not a medic”). soap decides it’s in ghost’s best interest to hide the extent of his injuries

he doesn’t know where ghost is, if he’s secure, if he has any weapons; he doesn’t even know if he’s in las almas until he says, “there’s a church, i’m headed to it”. for all he knows, he could’ve run in the complete opposite direction. if ghost knows he’s hurt, then his attention would be split between his own survival and soap’s

and soap, who lets himself be poked and prodded towards the church, needs to hide his own doubts. maybe he needs ghost to believe he'll make it so he himself can believe it ("what are my odds?" "don't make me bet against you", "think i'll live that long?" "probably not")

he all but begs ghost to tell him he'll get through it and if he knows just how bad off he is, maybe he'll change his mind. maybe he'll think he won't make it to the church

maybe he'll leave him alone for good

"you injured?"

"i’m good"

"let's find out how good you are"

[spamsandsuch]

since i havent posted anything gaster related in, well, idk how long but its been a long time, i decided to prolly to give an update thats been in my au for awhile but i never actually posted abt it for some reason

so instead of two gasters now theres three. Rather than following the alternative gaster route it relates more to the shard theory now. Heres some concept art i drew recently

rough info under cut

One shard is “Aster” (first; renamed Aster because just calling him wingdings got kinda old and confusing)  and while he has a shard in their soul his body is a physical vessel part of the game (aka hes like a normal lightner that can interact w/ both light and dark world. I refrain from calling it the “real world” cuz the point of utdr is that its a game). He doesnt know this though and has no prior memories after “waking up” for the first time in the game, but they know something is up and thinks the dark worlds has something to do with it (hence why he is holding experiments relating to them). He sucks major ass though cuz he doesnt think of them or darkners as “real” and treats them as such bcuz he doesnt think their actions hold major consequences when interacting w/ darkners/darkworlds 

Second shard (middle) is currently unnamed (tho that may change) and is half physical and half part of the void (but how physical its body is fluctuates). He knows their reality is a game and is pretty content with that. He barely remembers his previous life but doesnt question it — he knows he just is, not what, why, or how. Because of that, he doesnt care what people call him because it doesnt matter much in the grand scheme of things. While knowledgable in many things, he also easily forgets things too as he sometimes has trouble recalling certain things. He also doesnt entirely understand emotions, but it knows he likes seeing or making living things happy so he is often kind to others. He is also well intentioned and genuine, but sometimes doesnt understand what may be good for others to hear. Because of this, he is willing to casually share with others the knowledge that the world is a game to the few people who know its existence, but doesnt recognize that this may be scary information to some. It is also the same gaster that convinced Jevil the world is a game.

Third one and last shard is also nameless (again, this may change) and completely part of the void—meaning, in the light and dark world he doesnt exist, but can still visit them. He cannot interact w/ anything, though, which he finds frustrating esp when observing the other two gasters. He has more memories of his previous life than the second gaster, but its still few as well as scattered—most of the time he cant make sense of them, which is also frustrating. His form is also never constant, but he struggles w/ coping with the inconsistency of his body so he tries to form like the other two gasters whenever he can to maintain his sense of self. He also knows the world is a game (for obvious reasons) but still recognizes that consequences that occur in the game have weight — whether negative or positive. As such, he has a stronger sense of judgement and morality when it comes to others but cannot act upon the majority of things because he barely exists — which is also something hes frustrated with; because he cant interact w/ the world, he concludes he’s incapable of guiding or helping others. The only other being he can actually communicate w/ is the second gaster, he later finds out though; as a result, he often sticks to hanging out with the second gaster for company and also because seeing Aster’s actions make him feel sick. Additionally, he feels a weird sense of kinship with lightners and darkners for some reason — but especially darkners. He sorta almost sees them as his children, but doesnt entirely know why. 

[shadowqnights]

idk i urge you all to please please be kinder to yourself and your brain and your interests idk. i know that in this day and age we have to be critical of our interests but you can Do that and still be able to admit that You think this thing is fun and cool. maybe its got some writing issues or maybe its got a funky fresh different format or media type, maybe its a youtube series or a podcast or whatever that isnt your typical netflix tv show or book but its still Your thing and if you love it then no amount of like . societal pressure should be allowed to rob you of that enjoyment or make you feel ashamed to have an interest that isnt a Common or Typical fandom because there is a very very broad wide world of content out there. you shouldnt have to like open every conversation about your special interest/interest with 'this is the worst piece of media alive i hate that im into it please never watch the things i enjoy because you'll fucking hate it' (in a deadly serious way not like the silly way)

idk . what happened to whimsy. what happened to sillyfun. what happened to showing people that you're excited about things. maybe its not for them, maybe it Is badly written. but thats still Your thing and the more you tell other people that its dumb and horrible the more you condition yourself that you have to feel ashamed that your brain has latched onto it and wont let go. you condition yourself that you need to isolate yourself in your passion and that no one else is ever going to share it because you like something Horrible and grueling and frustrating and you have to tell everyone that. disclaimer, you say: this is the worst thing ever even though i love it so you shouldnt put yourself through it. because i just know you're going to hate it and you're going to think im cringe and stupid for still kind of liking it. but they might love it, or at least give it a try Just for you. Thats Love.

the more you ridicule your brain for latching onto the 'dumb' stuff and being genuinely interested in it .. the more you feel ashamed that you want to infodump about it and in the same breath feel like you have to warn people to never touch your interest with a ten foot pole. maybe they Want to indulge maybe they want to understand what you talk about. maybe they will Agree with you over those Plot Holes and Writing Things and you can talk about it idk. be nicer to your brain. let yourself have a Thing that you feel ecstatic to talk about and analyse and make art about. tell your friends you're having fun. doesnt matter if its silly or theres errors. sure you might be cringe but you are free.

[sendmyresignation]

one of the things ive been really thinking a lot a out lately (so much it kinda incidentally became the subject of a few essay things ive been working on in different genres) is the way in which narratives around what a scene or genre is or isn't can be true on one hand but also limiting? like specifically with the emo stuff on the dash lately there's this pretty well-accepted refrain that women are absent from this scene. which has weight on a systemic level. but also... women are always a part of musical creation it's weird to think they're just. not there. instead their contributions are derided they're forgotten they are not allowed to be medicore they exist on a sparkly pink stage on the outskirts of warped and are segmented off from the history. but any look into the niche of posthardcore or whatever and women Are there. like rainer maria is the most significant example but there are so so many frontwomen (and even more specifically instrumentalists in bands you already know but do not acknowledge) languishing in the depths of emo's past that are never going to exist on a "best badass women on warped tour" or whatever listicle. and like we are never going to reconcile with a scene that devalues women as performers/artists if we do not change our understanding of the v. performers we are constantly short-changing by continuing the legacy of disinterest about their contributions.

[celestialtarot11]

Astro observations 🤍🐚

back with another astro post part 1000 (i dont remember how much its been) 😭 anyways yall, please enjoy and feel free to share your thoughts always! I had to go in deep with this one 👀 you know, its astrology

divider creds: @fairytopea

Venus conj. Saturn has been the biggest lesson for me in love. In the connection often with this placement, the venus person clings to affection and love in a codependent way. The saturn person may withdraw & avoid romance altogether, creating an unstable dynamic. Venus person eventually learns their self worth is much more than having to convince someone why they should stay with them :/

That being said so much has been learned from this synastry. I truly became a better person and decided who was right for me, and who wasn’t. It broke my heart but fixed my vision! 

Someone I know has someone else’s mars in her 12h. This manifested as instant attraction even though she was repulsed by him. She couldn’t explain why she felt this way. Its possible mars 12h can bring out what we feel interest in, despite our shame and guilt towards it. It often has to do with our trauma and being drawn to things we know initially aren’t good for us. Which begs the question: why? And thats where the healing begins.

To also add she had her Lilith conj his sun, which definitely brought out an impulse to explore what she thought was off putting. Lilith can make us go deep into our trauma and transform our beliefs from then to now. With the sun it makes sense her beliefs are shifting especially in relationships. Her source of power was repressed due to her trauma, but now this synastry could be a way to regain it.

So random but are Taurus/Libra males more likely to be uncircumcised 😭 #sorry just had to put the thought out there

Jupiter in virgo male can be great listeners and conversationalists. It can also make them cunning, sly and manipulative with their word. With what kind of information they choose to let out at the time.

Chiron in the 4h and not living with stable parents 🤝 trauma. This guy I know has this placement and does not live with his parents, he lives with his grandparents due to the instability in his home life. His mother currently has a boyfriend. Chiron in the 4h can make an individual experience lack of stable family connections at a young age. It can also represent a separation or divorce in the family, or even the native being kicked out or homeless at some point in their lives.

Mercury in Aries and either going from being super blunt and dry, to spilling everything on their mind no shame. A guy with this placement was very dry, enunciating every word he could to be “masculine.” This was his attempt at projecting a dominant figure, as he lacked for it physically (#this is an astro post sorry i gotta get in there) I feel like mercury in Aries could manifest as sounding boastful, arrogant and pretentious. Especially if they don’t have a high self esteem. But the other side of it: mercury in aries can spill everything personal of themselves lacking boundaries.

Gemini Lilith natives know exactly what to say and how to say it. They are efficient with their word and thoughts. Precise and intelligent. Once empowered they acknowledge the importance of words and communication, but if not they can manipulate, lie to their benefit, and distort information to hide the truth. Empowered Lilith knows to honor all perspectives and feelings.

Also gemini lilith is multifaceted. Bring up a topic and gemini lilith can easily talk about it, even if you didn’t expect to know of it. They are tenacious individuals who love to learn more, and question everything presented to them!

Depending on other aspects and placements but women with Capricorn placements and plutonian aspects in their chart are more likely to have a grunge, dark moody vibe to their outfits. Even their vibe is unmatched. There’s a woodsy, whimsical yet dark vibe to them you can’t fully describe or place. Especially if they have venus touching pluto those women tend to go for a moody, gloomy yet striking appearance! They may also prefer whimsical softer styles, and one day switch to a darker vibe to change things up. Venus=fashion. As a result of pluto cap women may go through many different styles and changes in order to find what suits them. And even then, cap women love to explore with their look! They shed their old skin to make room for more.

Taurus Venus men & Libra men I notice tend to be extreme in their looks. Some prefer their real body, not altered by surgery. This can go extreme in one way: do everything naturally to their body but expect crazy results. High expectations. And some of them prefer perfection as well and go for surgery. They want to be symmetrical, flawless, and yet convey this, “effortless,” look. Not overdone but just right. And it can manifest into something unhealthy by wanting to look perfect all of the time. Taurus/libra men can be hard on themselves physically to fit a standard or stereotype.

Meanwhile Capricorn men want to convey this minimalistic, daddy energy. 😭. Not sorry. Some of ya’ll actually dress like dads though. Capricorn men always try to look put together, simple, yet there’s a sense of luxury to them. Depending on their other aspects/placements to Venus, they can give off a warm vibe. For example someone who was my childhood bestie dresses like a dad but gives off dork energy, because he has Aquarius stellium and Sagittarius placements as well. So it really depends on the venus aspects!

Libra dominant men are the type to go from couch potato to hot millennial business dad for an event. The type to get you drooling. The type to catch you off guard when you least expect it. The type you’d probably roll your eyes at when they say they’ll actually dress up, and when they do you’re stuck for words.

Capricorn women and their playlist 🤝 comfort. The only thing that truly understands them deeply. The only thing they find themselves getting lost in rather than getting lost in a person. Because losing themselves to a person is much more disgraceful to them, than getting lost in something they put together themselves.

“I’d rather lose myself in the hands of something I made, flesh and bone than to give you my dignity, my vulnerability, my guilt.” -me, a cap moon probably.

Thanks so much y’all for reading! I really hope ya’ll enjoyed this. Please always share your feedback, I love to engage and hear it! You can also send asks my way if that works! 🤍 have a great one.

Extra

Paid readings 🤍

[ihavemanyhusbands]

Bloodhound

Also on AO3

Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Fem!Reader

Summary: Before meeting the ghoul, you worked as a courier. After striking a mutually beneficial deal with him, you become a bounty hunter, but it’s clear that your dynamic is much more complicated than that.

WC: 2.5k words

Warnings: MINORS DNI THIS FIC IS 18+, pet play (implied), porn with little plot, dom/sub dynamics, mentions of violence, both praise and degradation, light dehumanization, the ghoul calls you ‘mutt’, unprotected p in v (DO NOT), radiated creampie (dw they use radaway after the fic is over lmao), oral (m receiving), aaaand thats all i can think of but lmk if i missed anything!

A/N: Shoutout to @finniestoncrane who posted an amazing fic w/ the same kink that made me feel brave enough to post this dirty lil fic i could not get out of my head these past weeks :D

——————

A loud, high pitched whistle made you pause mid-sentence. You recognized it as a sign that time was almost up, and you better get some answers before he lost his patience altogether.

You sighed, closing your eyes for a moment before looking back at the small shop’s vendor. 

“You said you heard he was going north?” You asked.

He crossed his arms over his chest. “Yes, heard him mention something about one of those mini-marts. You know the kind. There’s two on the way to Shady Sands that might be worth checking.”

You swallowed hard, but hid your discomfort. “And he was gone yesterday morning? Alone?”

“Yeah, as far as I know he arrived alone, too.”

“You weren’t curious enough to ask?”

“Not the kind to ask raiders more questions than I need to.”

You stared at him for a moment, trying to gauge if he was telling the truth or not. He had no reason to be helping raiders, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t have other reasons to lie. 

He cleared his throat and looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. He’d been eyeing the clunky, collar-like tracking device around your neck, unsure of what it meant or who exactly was tracking you. Clearly, he didn’t intend to find out.

“Alright, I’ve told you enough. You better get out of here before anyone else starts asking questions.”

You nodded once, knowing better than to push your luck. You took three caps out of a hidden pouch on your belt and tossed them at him. 

“Thanks,” you said, turning on your heel and making your way back out of the narrow alleyway.

The ghoul was leaning against the wall just out of view, the brim of his hat pulled low. You caught the edge of his grin as you approached, and he pushed off the wall to fall into step next to you.

“Well?” He asked, keeping his voice low and casual.

You relayed the information you’d acquired about the target — a bounty he’d picked up a few days earlier, at another settlement. A raider had wreaked havoc there and killed two in the process, so the families were looking for some justice.

Easy enough to take care of, the ghoul had figured, and all for a decent price. So he’d immediately put you on his trail, as he always did. Much easier for smoothies to be asking questions and actually get some answers — Not everyone tolerated his kind.

You had a few opinions on what to do next, but you kept them to yourself, knowing he wouldn’t want them unless he’d specifically asked. He hummed, the gears in his mind already turning. 

You peered at him sideways, wondering what his strategy would be. He didn’t often let you in on them unless it was necessary, but based on what you’d experienced so far, you at least trusted his cleverness.

“Good girl, that’s real useful,” he said finally, seemingly satisfied with what he was coming up with.

He flicked your chin up with his knuckle in what could almost be called affection, but not quite. You carefully hid the secret pleasure you felt at his praise, averting your gaze. Somehow, even at his meanest, he always managed to make it sound so good — at least in the same way a bruise felt good.

Formerly, in your life as a courier, you’d been severely underestimated many times. Traveling alone, especially, had its disadvantages, but it wasn’t brute strength that had so far kept you alive. You were cunning too, in your own way. 

Always keenly observant of your surroundings, picking up clues that most would miss. You were generally pretty reserved anyway, preferring to stay quiet and listen. It was easy for you to blend in with your surroundings, seemingly harmless, and people often let their guard down around you. Big mistake on their part.

The ghoul had taken notice of you, though. It had been months ago, at some repurposed saloon further up north, where there was a lot of foot traffic. It was really easy to get jobs there, or exchange information, so you often passed through. As it happened, so did he, and he’d kept an eye out after you initially caught his attention.

Once he’d learned just how useful you’d actually be to him, well… he just couldn’t pass up an opportunity like that. He had a certain way with words, exuding charm, knowing very well how to get what he wanted. Despite most people’s apprehension of ghouls, you didn’t really mind them as long as they weren’t feral and trying to bite your face off. 

Clearly, he wasn’t that type. So, you’d made an agreement of sorts with him, splitting the profits sixty-forty for every bounty fulfilled. Easy money, you figured, and some company to boot. More safety in numbers, after all, especially with someone as skilled as him. 

But from the get go, he always made it abundantly clear that he was the one calling the shots. There had been no room for argument on that, though strangely enough, you had felt a certain sense of freedom by submitting to it.

The tracking device he’d clasped around your neck soon after was just a little extra precaution, he had said. You had relatively free rein, but still he didn’t let you stray too far. And if you did, then his lasso would work as a makeshift leash to drag you back. 

Later on, when you’d developed a system of communication without words – especially for greater distances – you realized it’d felt more like training, in a way. Bending you to his will, sometimes with more charm, others with what he called discipline. And soon enough, after nights of growing closeness and a simmering tension, rewards also came into play. 

In the end, it all worked out, and before you knew it, the two of you were running like a well oiled machine. The hunter and his bloodhound. 

You started the trek north, taking advantage of the daylight. You kept your eyes peeled for any distinct tracks or other clues. When you saw an old, rundown shack in the near distance, you glanced back at him and then trotted off as soon as he nodded. 

Once you’d cleared it, you returned to where he was and continued on your way. Three more times, you checked abandoned buildings, but there was nothing of note in any of them. 

The first mini-mart you arrived at turned out to be more useful. The ghoul helped you interrogate a couple of raiders you’d found holing up there. They weren’t very forthcoming at first, but you left the jostling to him, given that it was his specialty. 

Soon enough, he managed to knock a couple of answers out of them, and then you were on your way again. You settled in an abandoned, half-collapsed house for the evening, a fire burning before the sun even finished setting. 

He sat on the other side of it, silently sharpening his machete, lost in thought. You looked off into the middle distance, unbothered by the quiet. It was a welcome reprieve after a long day, when all you wanted to do was unwind.

But that wasn’t to say it was always easy, even if you were on the brink of exhaustion. Sometimes you just needed a little extra help to get you there.

The ghoul noticed the tense set of your shoulders and your restless shifting. He heard the soft sighs you weren’t even aware you were letting out, short and almost impatient. But what could you possibly be waiting for?

His eyes lingered pensively on the tracking device, like a mark of his ownership, before trailing lower, towards your chest. He licked his lips, a few ideas coming to mind. 

“Say… how would you like a little treat for doin’ such a good job today?” He drawled, a roguish grin on his face as one of his hands came to rest heavily on his belt buckle.

Your attention was drawn there, but you quickly looked back up at his face. Instead of giving in to the impulse to nod eagerly, you bit your lip and decided to test the waters just a little bit.

“A treat, hmm?” you said, slightly tilting your head to one side, a sly smile tugging at your lips.

He nodded, adjusting his position lazily, hips bucking. “Oh yes, I’m feelin’ quite generous today, and you’ve earned it.”

This time you couldn’t hide the effect his words had on you, and he chuckled. Truth be told, you’d had this in mind all day, a craving that would not go away until you had him. It was why you’d gone the extra mile, knowing it wouldn’t escape his notice. He’d gotten real good at reading your moods, after all.

“Come sit pretty for me over here, why don’t’cha?” He said and tapped his foot on the ground, spurs jingling softly. 

You made your way over to him and knelt at his feet. He bent forward, looming over you, and grasped your chin with a gloved hand. 

“Well, ain’t you just the most obedient little thing? I’ve got you well trained, don’t I?” he said, his eyes roaming over your face. “Go on now, get your treat.”

He let go of your face and leaned back, adjusting his hips to bring them closer to you. Your fingers shook only slightly as you deftly undid his belt, then bent your head to undo the zipper with your teeth. There was a low sound of approval in his throat as you tugged his pants down, along with his underwear.

Your mouth watered at the sight of his hardening cock, the head of it lazily resting against his lower abdomen. You were about to curl your fingers around the shaft, but he shook his head.

“No hands,” he said, clicking his tongue. “You don’t need to use your hands anymore.”

You nodded, sticking out your tongue as your head dipped once more. You licked a long, languid stripe up the length of it, making it twitch in response. He sighed a rough good girl as his legs widened to adjust his position, a gloved hand resting on your head. 

Your lips wrapped around the tip, teasing it with little flicks of your tongue. He grunted, his hips jutting upwards. Your mouth was warm and wet and inviting as his cock slid inside it with ease. His head tipped back in ecstasy for a moment before he looked back down to watch you take it deeper into your throat. 

“Fuckin’ hell,” he said, his voice thick with lust. “I must’ve been real lucky to find such a good lil cocksucker like you.”

You moaned around him, shifting your knees as you felt yourself growing wetter. Your head bobbed up and down at an almost hypnotic pace, hands straining at your sides to keep yourself from using them.

When you reached the base, his cock fully sheathed in your throat, he kept your head down for a moment. You fought the urge to gag, breathing slowly through your nose. 

Then he let you come up for air, the lower half of your face a slobbery mess as you panted. Your eyes were glazed over with desire as you looked up at him, and his cock twitched. 

“Such a pretty mutt, aren’t’cha? I bet you’re all soaked and ready for me,” he rasped, holding your gaze as your tongue lavished his balls with some attention. 

He sucked in a breath through his teeth, feeling himself start to near the edge. But he didn’t want to get there quite yet, and he didn’t want it to be in your mouth this time.

Still, he allowed himself a moment longer, his hand pushing your head to press your face against his cock, hips rocking slightly. Your tongue was still out, trying to catch whatever skin it could, and he let out a deep groan.

“Alright, don’t get too excited now. Turn around and let me take a look.”

You did as told, hastily pulling your pants and underwear down to your knees and presenting yourself for him. You watched him tug his gloves off over your shoulder, appraising you with hungry eyes, and then he knelt behind you.

“My, oh my…” he said as some of your arousal dripped onto the ground. “Just as I thought… Let’s see if she’s ready for me.”

You felt the head of his cock prodding at your entrance, slowly pushing inside. Eagerly, you pushed your hips back to take more of him, but he stopped you by grabbing your hips.

“Easy, easy,” he chuckled. “You want me to fuck you that bad, huh?”

You nodded, whimpering a little as he thrusted shallowly, stretching you further to accommodate him.  

“Please,” you breathed, your voice broken by desperation, and he pushed your head to the ground.

“It’s cute when you whine like a bitch in heat,” he cooed, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips. “Now stay there and take it like the good girl I know y’are.”

Once he was able to fully slide in and out of you with little pushback, his thrusts gradually got faster. You moaned with each rough snap of his hips, deliriously chanting fuck, fuck, fuck under your breath.

He felt impossibly deep at that angle, practically driving you into the ground. One of his hands cracked down on your ass, making you flinch from surprise, your cunt squeezing him hard.

He growled at that, fucking you harder while tugging your hips backwards to meet his thrusts. He was repeatedly hitting a sensitive spot that had your vision going white, eclipsing everything else.

“God damn, this pussy’s so good to me,” he groaned, smacking your ass once more. “You enjoyin’ your treat? Huh?”

“Yes,” you gasped, legs kicking slightly at the intensity, eyes rolling to the back of your head. “I-I’m gonna… Can I cum? Please?”

He was pleased that you’d still thought to ask, but he was too keen on pleasing you at that moment to deny you. “Go on, I’ve got you. Come all over my cock.”

The orgasm rocked throughout your body, every one of your muscles taut as you unraveled. His name spilling from your lips as a whimper, something to cling onto. The way your cunt greedily, and oh so sweetly, squeezed his cock then had him right behind you. 

A rough, feral sound escaped him as his hips snapped against you one last time, spilling hotly inside of you. Your walls continued to flutter in the aftermath, milking out his own pleasure. 

After, he pulled out to get a look at the mess he’d made of you. Hummed with self satisfaction as he saw his spend trickling out of you, like another mark of his ownership.

Your head swam as if you were drunk, but still you smiled at him over your shoulder beatifically. Mischief danced in your eyes, but he’d already known it had been your plan to end up there all along.

“Always so eager to please.” He returned the grin slyly. “Maybe I ought to give you treats more often, if you keep it up.”

Perhaps it hadn’t been his intention, but you took those words as a challenge all the same. 

--------

[themoodyestj]

Ok, I think I have something to say about the current hot topic

Have you ever felt like you were dropped into a weird wicked dimension when all laws and science and logic and pretty much everything that makes sense flies out the window? I have to say I go through it all the time, and sometimes with major whisplash. But it's AA world for you guys, nothing makes much sense, and pretty much everything is twisted. I read recently that the Kween herself had deemed her clearly inferior husband worthy by professing the following words... "You'll do." And I already know what the AAs are going to say, it's playful banter, these guys don't know anything about relationships, they dont understand love, yada yada. It's not, and it's very dangerous to consider this playful banter. For the following reasons. 1 - I would consider this playful if there was a balance of negative and positive. However, Im yet to see Duhneel say anything positive (let alone sweet) about her husband.

2 - If this is playful banter, then she's oblivious to how she must behave. She goes to cons, tv segments, putting the finger on all the things J does wrong. The man works in television, he's a public figure and he depends on his image. This is pretty much the equivalent of having your significant other's boss for dinner and then ranting about how much of an unreliable idiot they are. It's stupid to spit on your breadwinner, really. And of course, it's classless, but we can all expect that from her in this point in time. I don't know for a fact that abuse is happening here, because I'm not there, but this is First Grade Moronic Nastiness if i ever seen it. And honestly, I wouldnt put it past her to verbally abuse her husband, because if she has the nerve to do it in public, where she must keep an image, imagine what she does in private. And come on, just like the SPN easter eggs he plants on the shows he works on, he also drops a few in cons about their marriage. "We work better apart", calling her Scary Spice, the vague non committal compliments he makes about her to save face... It's all there. Wales Con was an eye opener if anything, so much so that it divided the AA community. The guy was so tense he was about to snap his jaw! The body language was so telling that you really have to have your head in the sand while covering your ears singing lalalalalalala (or like i read in a comment about me CAN THEY SHUT UP, JENSEN HAS GROWN, WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT) not to notice. In fact, I hate comparisons, but this illustrates my point, so... Check this:

And compare to this:

The look on his face... He is literally turning away from her, except he can't because he's in public. And she's giving this mean girl vibe, vapid woman, "look at me, im a hotshot, i can diss your fave and you idiots still love me" vibe. In fact, can I mention her clothes? She's trying so hard to play the part of strong independent woman and failing so hard at it (I can guarantee you that's a comunity that won't claim her) that I'm pretty sure she wouldn't know what is like to be a strong independent woman even if it hit her in the face. But I digress and thats for another post altogether. In a nutshell, I don't know how people can defend these types of behaviours and consider them normal. Just a testament of their own lunacy, I guess, where everything is fair as square as long as they get to self insert. Where rules of compassion and respect do not apply because youre a celebrity (and its quite the stretch calling D a celebrity) and people can be bashed for shits and giggles. Im not the Jensen hater here.

[transhoverfish]

OK SO IM LATE BUT. MORE SUB3 NEWS!!!

so a few days ago, krafton (their publisher), apparently had this like presentation of their plans over the next like 2 years. and during that they talked a bit about sub 3!

and this obviously creates a LOT of questions. not to worry, though, because unknown worlds added on to this:

im honestly not surprised by this. iirc, when below zero released they said it would be a WHILE before the next game, and they only announced this back in like... january? now, the first game's release was in january, and bz was in may, so it's definitely possible early access with be in spring of 2025. those games did not have multiplayer aspections tho! its possible we'll wait until mid 2025, and full release will likely not be until 2026. but who knows? the first game took like ten to be fully finished!!

and honestly. THANK GOD. i can't imagine any subnautica game having BATTLE PASSES or LOOT BOXES. i would have just straight up ignored this game 😭

i do wonder what these updates will entail! "many years to come" is definitely something interesting to me, because other than bug fixes... i dont remember sub or bz getting many updates post full release. is this referring to bug fixes, or is it implying that it will be in a state of early access for much longer? are they going to just keep adding new things (like the building update for sub1) and taking fandom suggestions? very interested!!

maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but i actually,,,, dont want multiplayer. now i do like bz, and these games arent really intended to be horror games, but also bz is very noticeablely less scary than sub1. and some of it i think definitely has to do with all the extra characters and dialogue. its hard to feel isolated when you know al-an and marg are nearby. so im very happy that it's optional, bc i know i will probably enjoy single player a lot more enjoyable!!

so now... SPECULATION.

so the first thing im curious about that the development team didnt mention:

"uncover the mysteries on an entirely new alien planet"

apprently we are NOT returning to 4546b. which im kind of sad about!! ik the story is very obviously done there, but it feels weird that its going to be some other planet this time around. THERE WONT BE PEEPERS!!!! (well there could be but it would be weird if some other random planet had the exact same lifeforms)

now my next immediate thought is: is this a direct continuation of below zero? my opinion is: no. probably not.

mostly because it mentions up to four players, and robin and alan are, if you look very closely, only two people. now they COULD just create two new characters to go alongside them (my fanfic brain loves the au idea of marg and ryley 🥺) but im just going to assume that with the addition of a new planet, we're going to drop the old storylines. which means no more degasi, sunbeam, aurora, or ayou sisters. we might move away from architects/precursors altogether! (my basis on this is absolutely nothing and i could be wrong, this is 100% just theorizing)

also, i imagine that it would be difficult to keep the plot the exact same with two established characters and then two new ones, depending on how this multiplayer aspect works. if its another crash, it would be a lot easier to just have the extra players die/survive, then try to work in a balancing act of one guy playing al-an.

(also i like keeping the ending of bz vauge. if they show up again, they would have to mention what happened to the rest of the architects, and i think it's much more fun if thats a mystery!)

((also also, im gonna drop a bomb on u all for a second. i actually,,, dont like al-an. i have a deeper connection to probably every single other character in bz. i think they really fumbled al's character and story and he is so incredibly bland to me. it feels like they go nowhere with how he was responsible for the kharra outbreak because the game ends immediately after he confesses! it would be nice to give him another chance, sure, but i personally dread the idea of even more al-an. sorry everyone for this horrible news))

HERE'S A CONCEPT IMAGE

i hope they bring back some cut content creatures for this!! i noticed this new area looks VERY similar to the safe shallows, and several of the fish seem to be variations of ones we've already seen (im already seeing bladderfish and hoopfish color pallettes, and the shark resmbles some early concept art for the shadow leviathan, but with the ice worm's colors...)

will there be more land areas?? is it going to entirely underwater?? more kharra?? NO DISEASE AT ALL?? AAAAAA!!!!

[mysticbeeinatree]

If Only

a/n: I apologize, it's been a long time since I have written any fanfiction especially angst but I hope you enjoy! Please do not take, copy, or repost my works thank you!

Ageless and blank profiles will be blocked! (Even if the post isn’t nsfw)

Word count: 744

CW: angst and thats it!

You and Nanami have known each other since you both had gone to Jujutsu High. You were there to tease him about his haircut and to see him grow into the dutiful, strong man that he is. You were devastated when he left and relieved and ecstatic when he returned. You don’t want to lie to yourself, but the thought of having the feelings you do for him is too much to take at this point. You thought you were over him. Time after time the heartbreak you’ve felt, unbeknownst to him. He has no idea the mental turmoil you put yourself through every time you were studying with him, doing a project with him, even just thinking about him. 

You were there when he suddenly started bringing in bags from the bakery that you would pass together sometimes after work. You knew he had a little bit of a sweet tooth and would make fun of him every time he sat down munching on his pastry. You were there when he introduced you to his new lover, smiled pleasantly when they joyously told you they met one day when Kento stopped to get some breakfast one morning. Nodded and listened as the woman laughed remembering the way he seemed to have a glint of relief every time he saw her. Even laughing yourself when they recalled how he asked her out, his cheeks a light pink hue as he cleared his throat and slightly avoided her eyes when he vocalized his overly rehearsed lines. She giggled and ever since then they were an item. 

Although, that was back then. You were there when that relationship ultimately ended when she couldn’t understand why he was always working. You were there for him to let his guard down and have someone to rely on. There for him to vent or to be a distraction for him, maybe a bit selfishly enjoying the company of him with you once again. Patting his head when he would lean on your shoulder, relishing in his warmth when he needed a hug, loving this feeling of him wanting or needing you to be around. Even if it was just for a moment. 

Things began to get busy and you both would spend less and less time together. You started teaching 3rd year students while he took on more and more missions. The both of you barely had time to talk, but you were happy, since he was busy he didn’t have time to think about how he was feeling. Even then, you’d reminisce about the times you were so close. Funny that history seems to repeat itself over and over. Messages became more and more sparse until ultimately that communication ended altogether. 

It had been years since then. You find yourself looking at old pictures, that tight feeling in your chest once again. Looking at his contact information for the nth time this week deciding what to do. Instead of putting the phone down you began to type. “Hello Kento, it’s been a really long time.. How have you been? Is Gojo still getting on your nerves, go easy on him he took a liking to you, you know? I’ve been okay, just been working so much recently. Remember the good old days when we could hang out or something once the day was over haha I miss those days.. Honestly Nanami I miss you, I think about you every day. I wish things had been different.. I.. I miss you and I love you so much. I love you.” Pushing send, there was some weight that lifted off your heart and your chest. 

“Not delivered.” You knew that message wouldn’t go through. It’s been years since the incident. Since you walked into that subway terminal and fell to your knees.Unable to fully grasp the situation, not even Gojo was there to help with the pain. Years since the darkest period of your life began. If only you had been there, if only you could have done something to help him, anything. Another selfish part of you thought about how he would never even know about your feelings and how maybe just maybe things could have turned out differently relationship-wise or even overall if you had said something before Shibuya. Of course not and it doesnt help to think that way, but you can’t help it. If only you could talk to him one more time. If only…

[pommunist]

thank you for allowing people to vent their frustrations or discuss whats been happening in your inbox, a lot of qsmpblr from what ive seen wants to ignore anything besides brightest side outlooks and they shove everything else down by labelling things like the spreading of the latest updates as "doomposting".

i personally havent seen any actual doomposting (expecting the worst possible scenario, ex. "the server is over and will never come back") from anywhere besides a small handful of people who hate quackity on twitter, the closest i can find here is sentiments like "yeah i dont know if ill be back to actively watching every day even if everything is fixed" or "im so disillusioned at this point that im not coming back until we get concrete proof things are better" where its people personally deciding to (often temporarily) leave the fandom, not any actual doomposting or discouraging anyone to still follow the server because "theres no chance anything will ever be fixed".

so yeah, thank you for allowing stuff besides the most positive of takes in your askbox <3 im too scared to post stuff on my own because of the toxicly positive mindset on qsmpblr, so being able to vent my frustrations in your askbox really helps!

Tbh I don’t blame people who are complaining about what they see as « doomposting ». When you love something you don’t want to wake up every morning learning about another set of bad news on it, instead you want to believe that everything will be fixed and that you will soon be able to enjoy it like you used to.

However the situation IS bad. People are talking about negative things because they ARE happening. And it isn’t just some random drama like this is a situation that affected negatively on people, could even be considered breaching some laws and, also, be the end of the project. I don’t like saying that, obviously, but it’s the truth.

Saying it’s joever already won’t do any good but so will blindly hoping that things will be better. Tbh I’m happy that I haven’t seen much of both of these takes except from the extreme sides of the fandom (out of all the anons I got since it started very few were extremely negative, no hate to them btw feel free to vent in my askbox i just chose not to post them).

People can stop watching qsmp altogether, or just keeping to their fav ccs streams, some can chose to keep watching like they did before for X reasons, others are straight up leaving the fandom, it’s all fine, we just need to understand everyone’s perspective without jumping to judgement.

Side note : One thing I won’t tolerate here is hate on the admins who spoke up though (this + the usual assholery aka random hating, bigotry etc)

Personally I haven’t watched a qsmp stream since the situation was exposed but thats just because I don’t want to support the project rn and can’t enjoy the content knowing what we now know. That’s just me though !

Anyway rant over kkkk thanks for the nice ask anon ! Weirdly I think keeping track of the situation and answering so many people who had questions/wanted to air out their thoughts is what helped me not dwell on my own sadness regarding what’s happening ahah

[loving-n0t-heyting]

Angry post about voting discourse. Ambiguous degree of endorsement

The failure of local leftists and left liberals to sufficiently campaign and get out the vote this primary season has abetted, not diminished, the stranglehold of the bloodsucking California democratic machine. The narrow success of prop 1 and the abysmal senatorial primary showing of the most consistently anti war member of congress are gifts to the agenda of the blue establishment. Not just not obstacles, gifts

If you are in a state like michigan, you shouldnt vote for biden this November. Yes, trump will be worse, but we have to send a message about israel. Another opportunity this good will not come. But when i think first about the psychiatric dungeons that will now almost certainly receive a generous influx of state funding and then about many many of the ppl to guilt biden voters as genocide ensblers, i get pissed. Not exasperated, fucking angry. Bc for so many of them they are not promoting this simply to send a message to the current administration, or bc its a line too far, or bc there are other forms of organising they think you should prioritise.

They are saying it bc they hate democracy. They are saying it bc they want to take away your vote altogether. Thats the dream. The end goal. Their prize. They will admit this, proudly, when they extol as the gallant standard bearers of world history dictatorships that crushed—again and again—the forces of political freedom beneath their heel for all the world to see. Their dim chances of success in achieving this oligarchic agenda should not lessen the chill it ought to give you. Its the same logic as the mental institutions: dictate the terms of yr daily existence without any of yr input, and bask in the self-affirming glow of their forward-thinking practical scientific beneficience

It would hardly be the first time psychiatric hells and the vaunted principles of the great saviour lenin went hand in hand

[mywitchyblog]

Hi! I was wondering what do you think about people who date one person in one dr then shift to a different reality where they are dating one of that person's relatives?? Because I know when you shift you fully become part of that reality but it seems a bit odd to me personally.

I saw someone talk about this other day and your posts about more controversial topics are really well-written so I would like to know your opinions!

Greetings, Dear Shifter,

To be frank with you, I don't find it weird if you shift for one character in one DR and then their relative in another DR of yours OR date both at the same time in one Reality.

For example, in one DR I'm dating Dick Grayson, and in another, I'm dating Jason Todd. I've found no problem with that (plus they're from two separate media: comics Jason and DC Titans series for Dick).

It's your DESIRED Reality for a reason. If you wish to do so, do it. If you wish not to, then don't.

The only instance where I'd find it weird and wouldn't do it is if I go to a DR where I date a character and then go to another DR where I'm dating their parent (or the other way around). It's too weird for me, and I don't do it.

An example of that in my case: I had 3 different JJK DRs. In each of those, I'm dating Gojo, Megumi, and Yuji in another.

I chose to focus on the one where I'm dating Gojo, and I discarded the one where I'm dating Megumi because, for me, he's like my son, and i raised him since the age of 10 so for me thats weird.

But if you wanna do someone kid and parent pop off i guess.

(Because Gojo is like a father to Megumi, so it's like I date someone in one reality and his "son" in another.)

If that kind of situation were to happen, I script the other out (the son or the father) or change it to an entirely different character altogether so that way i get rid of the weirdness of it all. Does that make sense.

But during instances where they're cousins/brothers? I don't give a f*ck.

It's not weird in some media where the protagonist dates both relatives, like two brothers at the same time or someones dad and son at the same time and people seem for a lack of a better term "eat this shit up".(horny booktok girls who think the filth they read is "literrature" smh....)

Plus, if you're worried about how it's going to look in your DR, remember what I said about awareness and your perspective of it. In your DR, it's your OR from then on. This reality becomes a DR.

So when you're in your DR, you just know that there's a reality out there where you date their relative. Since you know about shifting and understand the notion of infinite realities and possibilities, it doesn't sound that weird in your head that it's a thing.

Hope that answers your questions!

P.S.: As you may know, no one can tell you what's right or wrong in Reality Shifting. You are your own moral compass. Remember, morality and ethics are subjective. We don't even have the same across time and space in THIS reality. What makes you think we're going to have the same morals/ethics somewhere else?

Just follow your heart and do what you wish to do no one but you can prevent you from shifting.

[mapsofnonexistentplaces]

Character thang: mithrun! And falin:3 if u want

GRINS just doing mithrun for now might rb this later and add on falin thoughts....

favorite thing about them

honestly just his whole arc being a pretty blatant abuse/depression metaphor combined with like. some of the most realistic disabled writing ive seen in fantasy. like i remember reading dunmeshi for the first time and pogging about seeing a character with ptosis because i NEVER see that shit outside of my own ocs and also some of the stuff discussed about him like. having a weird sense of direction (which is partially bc of dungeon lord business but also iirc he is stated to have weird walking/gesture patterns so!) and not really being aware of his own energy or triggers.... like it hits very close to home for me as a chronically fatigued guy with bad balance and bad eyesight and its just really nice to see someone like me portrayed in like. a way which doesnt exaggerate mithrun's disability as laughable or tragic in a very unsympathetic way. like the way the canaries accommodate him and the way his arc finishes up (+ the little chats he has with marcille....) i think its very sweet very comforting. ive just been very into him recently after like. coming to terms with being abused by an ex and going through the whole rollercoaster of emotions that comes with that. like. ughhh. i saw this thread recently and it keeps swimming around in my mind. its good

least favorite thing about them

i guess like the dude's bigotry but considering other chapters in the adventurer's bibble he seems to be self aware of it? its kind of an unexplored facet of him altogether.... and at the same time i think it informs a lot of like. the inherent supremacist ideas elf culture harbors.

favorite line

brOTP

reiterating what i said when i answered these qs with kabru. i think they both have a very funny dynamic that i wouldnt even necessarily describe as platonic or friendly theyre just very good inverse masks of one another.... makes for entertaining scenes in a way i really respect

also as i mentioned i think him and marcille getting to know one another post-story and talking out dungeon lord feelings is nice....

OTP

i think he has more important things to worry about

nOTP

him and kabru. as i said i think its funnier if theyre just two blokes forced to talk to each other. they wouldve never conversed willingly and that makes so many of their discussions interesting....

random headcanon

i think im just too picky about the anime LOL but im not too fond of the voice hes been given based on the previews. they did that breathy anime twink shit to him. i think he sounds like he smokes 20 cigarettes a day personally

unpopular opinion

i think the fact i dont like yaoi with him in it is unpopular enough i feel. oh uh i also think like. the few scenes where he shows off like. genuine bursts of aggression and violence are really fucking interesting and everyones far too keen on dismissing him as like. A Numb Mindless Boytoy like hey. think about this dude for a second as like an individual please.

song i associate with them

SIGH i have so much to say about this one. thats for another day though

favorite picture of them

sketches here are forever lodged in my mind theyre cutes. i like his shitty little ponytail here LOL

[ultimateloserboy]

i said i would make this post, so here i am. here is the red guy analysis, starting with this qna answer from baker terry. i talked about this question before, it was “whos your favorite to write for?” and after a bit of debate the answer ended up being red guy for pretty much everyone. i mentioned that, but i left out this answer specifically because of how significant it is. im gonna go on a bit of a tangent here, but i promise itll come back around and make sense

this is what ive been saying about red guy!! hes been going through a constant character arc that never reaches its completion because he is torn down again and again. “hes sensible and together until he isnt” is such a good description, because he might be the MOST normal character but he isnt truly normal. not really. thats very important.

i think red guy is a realistic character, a very human character, and the thing about people is that we’re not as normal as we think. there are differences about all of us that don’t quite fit, and some of us moreso than others, but that is the true normal. true normal is to not be normal. that is what red guy represents to me. we relate to him and think he is sensible because he is, but that doesnt mean hes free of oddness altogether. thats what makes him even more relatable.

but he doesnt realize this, hes riddled with insecurity, and THATS what makes him the way he is. he doesnt quite fit anywhere. hes out of place in his own world, and hes out of place in every other world as well. he doesnt enjoy the house, and he tries to run, but even when he runs he doesnt like what he finds outside. he’ll never find a place where he perfectly fits. he’ll try, but he’ll fail.

but thats another thing. because he doesnt fit anywhere as he is, he usually tries to fit in instead. the characters around him (the fax machine thingy, the trash can, lily and todney) they all tell him that theres something wrong with him and the way he lives, that he could be better, that all he has to do is listen to them and he’ll be normal and respected. and so he does. he listens to them and tries his best to be happy with it. hell tell himself that hes normal and everyone loves him now. that weird people are below him, that nothing is wrong with him because hes perfect. he wont believe it, he’ll be unhappy playing pretend, but at least hes better than everyone else now. at least hes the most normal one. at least hes normal, right?

but then he’ll end up back home, and things will go differently tomorrow. there could be a day where hes waltzing around in clothes, masking who he is and pretending to like it. but then there could be a day where hes coming to terms, where he looks in the mirror and he doesnt care much what others think anymore. where he’ll say “im not supposed to wear clothes, this is the way i look” finally sticking up for himself. he’ll start being kinder, to others and himself. he’ll start being more honest, more open, more loving. he’ll still be as average and monotone as ever, but he’ll be slightly different. he’ll be happier with himself as he is, he’ll ACTUALLY like himself instead of just pretending.

but happiness doesn’t last in a house like theirs. his memory loss will rip away at the realizations he has. he’ll go right back to being bitter and miserable. i dont believe the house is in a timeloop, i hate that theory with a burning passion, but thats besides the point. timeloop or not, he’ll be built up, and then the next day he’ll be knocked back down. he never reaches a point where hes fully happy and i doubt he ever will. i doubt any of them ever will. it makes me so sad, but at least he gets close enough.

in conclusion, duck and yellow guy are very nonsensical and complicated characters, but red guy is too, just in a calmer and more easy-to-understand sense. just because hes the regular, human kind of complicated does not mean he isnt worth analyzing. i wish people would see him as more complex instead of just “relatable depressed tumblr sexyman” like if yall paid attention youd realize that yes, he pulls off the suit, but hes miserable in it. it’s literally him masking. i wish people paid more attention to these things. no shame if you dont, hes supposed to be a more chilled out character compared to the other two, so its natural that people wouldnt think as hard about him. but hes not as smart and reasonable as yall give him credit for, he is until he isnt.

or, if we want to go with the gayer conclusion:

hes YOUR babygirl because hes hot in a suit, but hes MY babygirl because he thinks electricity is magic. because hes an embarrassment to everyone around him. because he doesnt like wasting food or making a mess. because all he wants is a family, and he already has one, but its not normal or functional enough for him. because he smiles more often than everyone thinks. because hes actually kind of an asshole but duck outshines him in that department. because hes selfish and yet he dislikes himself. because he is complicated in the most human way, with a little bit of an inhuman thought here and there. because i am in love with him im just going insane now i need to shut this shit down. ive gotten my point across. goodbye, i love you ! (leaves you a spherical internet device which i created)

[flock-talk]

Wondering if you can help me with my really hormonal budgie

Ive tried all the methods of foraging toys, more sleep, moving cage around, teaching him tricks but nothing works at all. He always find something new to flirt with and the newest being his toys which is a bit counterproductive

I dont know wether to take him to the vets for medication (if thats a thing) or if i should splash out on some proper foraging toys

Just starting to get frustrated and everyone keeps telling me to get rid of him but i really dont want to do that because i know its solvable

So any help would be appreciated thanks :,)

I have the hormone ask tag which compiles a variety of things to consider and change to help reduce hormonal stimulants!

Another thing worth noting is that it is starting to be spring now so regardless of what we do to reduce the effects there will still be some degree of hormonal fluctuations right now. When it comes to reducing hormones with parrots it’s not so much a matter of trying to stop them altogether (if that’s even possible) but rather balancing between reducing the behaviours that are harmful for them (egg laying, regurgitating, masturbating), harmful to us (territorial aggression) and picking your battles/ finding management strategies that allow you to work around the less desirable behaviours.

There are hormone shot treatments available which are usually used as a last resort in birds for high risks of lowered quality of life due to the hormonal fluctuations. Typically chronic egg layers but they can be used in other situations as well and can be something worth discussing with your vet. Just as with any medical procedure they aren’t without risks and it’ll be up to you and your medical team to decide if the pros outweigh the cons

[freshlybakedspiderbread]

seiga kaku?

im gonna actively try to keep myself concise and to single points because its been so easy for me in the past to get lost in wicked hermit thoughts and veer off who knows where... Part of it surely has to do with how a long time ago i used to have an rp blog on tumblr where i spent everyday thinking about seiga to some extent!

General opinion/How much I care about them: there was a long period of time where i would say without a doubt she was my single favourite character in touhou. I couldn't properly point to any one reason, or any tidy chain of events that might have led to it, other than learning about her, reading and seeing various very formative doujin works featuring her and the th13 crew, and maybe some old-fashioned projecting led me to latching onto every aspect of her... These days, there's a lot of touhous I obsess and go wild over and to even greater extents than her, but seiga objectively has the longest history of making me go a little nuts, whereas even aya took a little more time to nettle into my brain.

I like Seiga a lot and ive thought about her a lot, is what im getting at!

A ship I love: seiyoshi (seiga/yoshika) is funny in that it has a lot of little 'requirements' to me. Like if intepreted as just purely the evil hermit controlling a tool that she herself murdered to obtain, i think thats boring. But likewise, if its intepreted as just the hermit tragically trying to preserve her departed beloved, well that might be better but still lacking to me.

i couldnt possibly get across my ideal backstory for them right now, but the ultimate gist of it is that Seiga definitely did care for the living Yoshika who then died unexpectedly, before Seiga could decide herself whether she would commit to teaching her the ways of the hermit or simply get bored and move on. Her main motivation in performing the most ludicrously evil magic and create a jiangshi was because she refused to let even the natural order of life and death take anything away from her.

....Thaaaat all aside, i think their interactions in present day are just really funny 😄 Seiga 'spoiling' her dear Yoshika who laughs off being a meat shield because its not like she can die again!

A non-romantic relationship that I love: I think Seiga and Futo have the most oddball dynamic among the taoists and also Futo is probably the only one Seiga wouldn't have intense romanctic tension with. Futo who is a weirdo herself, acknowledges Seiga as their wise teacher of the arts (calling her seiga-donno) and yet also does not think of her as above any of them in their little personal hierarchy because Futo knows Seiga has no interest in being a proper retainer to Miko, so all of Futo's formalities almost come off as either sarcastic or as a really esoteric form of endearment. Meanwhile, Seiga probably thought a long time ago Futo would grow weary of things like loyalty and matters of noble blood or talking like an ancient old person, but none of that happened and Futo remains the same as ever, which has been altogether surprising, charming, and exasperating for Seiga (and everone else but they're all mostly charmed 😊)

The NOTP: i guess you'd have to work especially hard to get me to gel with pairing her up with any of myouren temple's folks. I get the temptation since every other taoist has one or two easily paired up counterpart there, but its not enough to just cross a checklist and leave it at that!

(that said, if you were gonna pair up buddhists and taosists thematically, i get why one might put seiga with shou since they were technically most vital in backstory with miko/byakuren respectively, and also because they both have a servant, one jiang-shi and a mouse. but i always thought seiga made a better parallel witn nue personally)

My biggest headcanon about them: most of this post is already headcanon, but as for another 'big' one...

I believe over the last thousand and whatever years, Seiga made semi-regular (as in maybe once every few years or a century?) visits to the tomb where Miko and gang slept, indulging and refreshing her memories of them, chatting up Tojiko who is now a ghost. And then sometime in 2011 right as her hermit senses told her it was finally time to meet them all again, she went to to tomb to greet them all only to find out literally the entire place was gone 😨

so all within like a week or something, Seiga had to go on a mad investigative quest where she discovered they had all been whisked to Gensokyo at some point, had to learn what the heck Gensoyko even is, how to get herself there, and then arrived just in time to get blasted by the incident resolvers. Really busy time in her life!

An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: ha... one day, my multi-part seiga backstory fic incorporating every stray headcanon i've ever had. and then i quit writing forever maybe n_n

That aside, a funny scenario would be Okina appearing trying to stir drama because Seiga is basically the reason why Miko divorced Okina. And Seiga has no idea who she is or about any of that because Miko never mentioned it 😌

Something that makes me think of them: pretzels.

also its someone elses fault but luo tianyi is just the seiga vocaloid to me 😑