#but the amount of people I’ve seen who posted abuse apologism acting like there was nothing they could have done and like.

[proudfreakmetarusonniku]

like, genuinely. taking accountability for your actions in perpetuation of abuse and rape culture is the first step to changing that culture. it doesn’t make you a bad person just because you did a bad thing (unless you were intentionally trying to cause harm) but you have to admit you are not immune to accidentally supporting the bad thing and take accountability for that. if you supported george's statements on sexual harassment, or dream's sexual jokes towards minors, or sapnap getting paid money to stream on a platform which openly harbours rapists and sex abusers, you've been a part of keeping the environment that makes it hard for victims to have come out. if you started believing in anti-victim sentiments and harassed other abuse victims for talking about how it made them uncomfortable, you’ve supported this environment. if you assumed anyone uncomfortable with your streamer or trying to talk out against them was inherently lying solely because it was your streamer, you helped support an enviroment that fostered abusers.

and that sounds harsh, and I’m sorry. but it’s true. and to a degree, I think everyone in this community has done that with people at one point in their lives. it's very easy to be manipulated, but it’s also very easy to be wilfully blind, and that’s not something irredeemable or a permanent stain. you can change, but you need to identify in yourself what caused you to act like that and make a conscious change. it’s healthier for you and it’s healthier for the environment. if we want to avoid this in the future, we need to be proactive in calling out actual potentially harmful behaviour, even if it’s from someone you like. or we will continue to harbour mass amount of abusers.

most content creators are not abusers. most, to be honest, are awkward introverted nerds with social anxiety. at least, that’s what i've got from the ones my brother knows (and that includes some big ccs). but while they’re a huge part of it bc being in front of a camera instead of people is a huge draw, there’s another draw that attracts a less savoury crowd- and that’s the position of power. and unless you’re willing to listen and be kind to genuine, serious criticism of harmful actions, and ccs are willing to do the same, abuse and sexual assault WILL continue to be normalised in these spaces. it is not your sole responsibility, but it IS a responsibility to make sure to avoid that now you know the possibilities aggressively attacking any criticism can hide. caiti had to deal with people with her abusers face threaten her for speaking negatively towards him. do not let that happen again.

[thebluespirit83]

debunking pro-snape/anti-james arguments and putting it on the internet because clearly i hate myself. buckle up. this is gonna be a VERY long post. im ready for the amount of hate i will get; im willing to take one for the team. 

1. james forced lily into dating/marrying/etc him 

this literally never happened? because its almost as if lily is her own person who is able to stand up for herself-

“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

She turned on her heel and hurried away [from james]. 

-and so she would not allow someone to walk all over her. its almost as if james (canonically) matured as a person, and she appreciated this, realised he was a good person and got feelings for him? because james’ only negative traits were that he was conceited and a show off. people are able to mature and grow from these things! james did this! he did not ‘force’ lily to go out with him!

2. james and the other marauders bullied snape

you know what, i cant even disagree with this one. you’re right - they did bully him. but lets look a little bit at the context. 

sirius and james were both upper class, naive white rich boys. they are idiots. they were both stupid smart teenagers!! they were popular! and while this does not excuse the gross bullying snape was subject to-

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him

Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular ... Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

-it (unfortunately) makes sense with context. james and sirius also stopped bullying people, and even expressed discomfort/regret with the way they acted-

“I’m not proud of it,” said Sirius quickly.

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly, “we were all idiots!

[sirius talking to remus] you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes

A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it.

-when they were younger! i’d also like to point out these little lines i noticed when i was finding quotes for my argument which snape stans like to ignore:

James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other

I mean, he [snape] never lost an opportunity to curse James

there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood

wow, look at that. the hate they felt for each other was mutual! snape also jinxed james! but oh wait - james was the one who matured! snape was the one who bullied his son twenty years later because he looked like james! 

3. snape didnt abuse the kids at hogwarts 

here’s a real argument i saw when looking through some pro-snape posts: ‘snape wasn’t an abuser, because abusers don’t let their victims retaliate, but snape did let the kids talk back to him’

what. the. fuck?! 

this is the dictionary.com definition of abuse: ‘to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way’ or ‘to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about’. i’m pretty sure snape did both of these things-

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”

“So,” said Snape, gripping Harry’s arm so tightly Harry’s hand was starting to feel numb.

Snape threw Harry from him with all his might.

[hermione’s teeth]  "I see no difference."

‘Idiot boy!’ snarled Snape [at neville]

-on multiple occasions. i’d also like to remind you guys that neville’s worst fear is SNAPE?! his TEACHER, a figure that is supposed to be there for emotional and educational support is his worst fear in this entire world?! above the woman who drove his parents to insanity? over failure, over his abusive grandmother, over everything? his teacher? and for the pro-snaper that used this quote-

Nearly everyone laughed. Even Neville grinned apologetically.

-to claim that it was a joke, it isn’t a joke. because when snape came out of that cupboard, he was terrified. yes, it’s an embarrassing thing to have as your boggart, but the point is is that it is. he is terrified of that man. 

4. james only joined the order because his wife was a muggleborn and he ‘had to’

this is just factually incorrect. james had been sticking up for muggleborn rights since he was in school, far before he started dating or even became friends with lily: 

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

“I’d NEVER call you a - you-know-what!”

so this is literally not true!! plus, at least he did join the order, whatever his reasons where (which were canonically good). snape didnt join the order. snape was friends with someone who suffered discrimination in society, and instead of using his privilege to help her and support her, he joined a group that was set on murdering people like her. when james had a friend who underwent oppression (remus/lycanthropy) you know what he did? he illegally became an animagus. 

5. snape had to be a death eater to survive at hogwarts as he roomed with blood supremacists

this is the shittiest excuse i have ever seen in my entire life. as a poc, this comment really reminds me of the argument ‘i was raised in a racist white household! i cant control my beliefs!’

you can always control your beliefs. i understand not going on big rants about blood inequality in front of a bunch of supremacists, and i understand wanting to blend and fit in (especially because he was unpopular and needed the support the slytherin boys provided), but i will never understand then becoming an active member of the group yourself. he got the dark mark. he helped voldemort. he was a death eater, and a proud one at that! no-one forced him to join. this argument literally makes my blood boil. 

6. snape had a lot of trauma from being raised in an abusive household

okay? so did sirius. so did neville. luna was bullied at school, just like snape. harry lived in an abusive household. did any of those people bully children? did any of those people join a blood supremacist group? and dont get me wrong, im not calling any of these people perfect - they all had a lot of flaws - but none of them hurt another people to the extreme that snape did. 

7. snape saved the trio’s lives many times

this is the absolute bare minimum. ‘oh wow, he didnt let harry die!! what a king! he should be respected and praised! we should excuse all of his other actions because he didnt let people die <3′ 

8. snape is not a perfect person, he also did good that many people overlook

you’re right, snape did do some good things in his life. but unfortunately, for me and many others, doing a couple of good things doesnt excuse all of the shitty, abusive things he did too. we’re not ignoring them - we just dont think they’re good enough reasons to forgive him. 

‘but james and sirius hurt others! you ignore all the bad things they did in favour of the good!’ you do the same thing with snape, first of all. second, they did a lot of good stuff. james’ and sirius’ only crimes were being annoying. for being a bit of a dick, conceited, knew they were hot and were a bit entitled. while these things are annoying as fuck, they were also stupid teens that eventually grew out of their behaviour and became better people. not perfect! better. while snape just stayed bitter at the marauders, long after their deaths, and even took his anger out on an innocent child. 

9. people only hate snape because he was poc and queer coded

as a poc and queer person, please stop. this is a very bad excuse. being poc and queer (which im pretty sure he isnt, but anyway) doesnt excuse you from your actions. plus, a huge amount of harry potter readers are poc and lgbtq. why would they hate snape for those reasons?! 

so thats all i got for today. im not gonna go into a deep snily/jily thing because i literally cannot be bothered. anyway im done. i need to go revise, i’ve already spent long enough on this. 

[bbygirldahyun]

with something like this, there never feels like a right time, and i don’t know if i’ll ever feel well and truly prepared to talk about these things, but i’ll give it a shot. here is my experience with reza and the entire situation.

i say none of this with malice, and i would hope nobody else does either. nobody but those who were directly involved can understand, talking about this is hard, but it’s weighing me down not to. so please, don’t send anyone hate or interact with her at all. i just want to express what happened and move on.

i became friends with reza awhile ago, probably over a year ago at least if my memory serves me correctly. unlike many others in this situation, we were very close. we spoke nearly everyday. we have spoken on the phone, she has met my girlfriend over the phone, we shared a lot of personal things. we even talked about meeting in person at one point. so trust me when i say, this has brought me an intense amount of sorrow, loss, and guilt.

i know people throw around words like gaslighting and manipulative a lot, but i truly mean it when i say she manipulated many of us. she made me feel absolutely insane sometimes, like i couldn’t trust my own memories, perspectives, and experiences. what i said i thought happened never mattered. experiences i had with someone were never considered unless they aligned with her predetermined narrative. she would convince me i said or did things i didn’t, or at least didnt remember saying. she told people i was angry at her about something when i had no recollection of it. i’m not an angry person, i couldn’t imagine being truly angry and harsh with her ever.

it seemed every few weeks or months, she picked a new person to dislike and she wanted everyone else to dislike them too. she used to tell me frequently how nobody ever believed her about anything, so at first when she would tell me about not liking someone for some reason i always tried to validate her and believe what she said. i wanted her to know i was a good friend, i wanted to be a good friend. but the more it went on, the more i started to question things. people i didn’t know very well i easily believed what she said, because i’m very trusting. i had no reason not to trust her, really. but then it became people who were my friends that were the targets of her distaste.

if i ever had a small problem with someone, she blew it way out of proportion. of course all friends have issues, everyone has issues. so i would confide in her when other people i was friends with had upset me somehow, and she always responded with incredibly petty insults about the person whether it be their writing, their art, or about them as a person. it was very odd. but i learned very quickly i couldn’t ever defend any of my other friends, because that angered her severely. she has talked poorly about just about every single person on this website in this community, including her own friends. i know sometimes you just need a place to vent, i understand that, i’ve done that myself. but she was often rude, petty, and insulting about these people. it wasn’t just venting, it was true distaste and malice.

if she wasn’t responding with petty insults, she would become very intense about the situation. she would almost always instruct me to not trust that person anymore, or to cut them off, or even sometimes go as far as to “handle” the situation herself. another writer mentioned in their post that they were kicked from a groupchat because of her, and i was in that groupchat, and she did it simply because a joke that was made had upset me slightly. she took things from 0 to 100 in seconds, before i could even protest. sometimes when she did things like that, i felt perhaps that’s what friends did? i didn’t have many friends growing up, so i guess i didn’t really know. but it often felt as if she treated me like someone who couldn’t fight my own battles when really, i’m just not a fighter by choice. i’d rather talk things out, especially with someone who was a friend of mine who i cherish deeply.

i confided in her that i was very trusting and thought everyone had good intentions due to being autistic and taking what people say at face value. i told her that’s how i ended up in my abusive relationship, because i was too trusting. she told me she hated that anyone had done that to me, and then went and did it herself. she took advantage of the fact i can’t tell easily when i’m being manipulated. she attempted to plant seeds of distrust within me towards every single other friend i had, even my girlfriend. i spoke to her once about an issue my girlfriend and i had had a long time ago, and she immediately said in essence she didn’t think my girlfriend was good for me. this was one issue within a nearly 5 year relationship. it felt insanely isolating, to be told at every turn that anyone in my life was bad for me, except for her.

it’s also worthy of pointing that all of these people who she would talk so poorly about to me and to just about anyone who would listen, she is more than willing to turn around and kiss their feet when she lost all her friends. duckie was a particular target of hers in terms of her attempts to get me to cut my friendship off with. some of the things she said to me, i don’t even want to repeat, though of course i have told duckie about it. she has said nasty things about her, about me, about our entire friendship. and yet, the second she didn’t have her friends on here anymore, she was tagging duckie in a praising post, surely in the hopes somebody might take her side i can only assume. that really boiled my blood — all of those nasty words, only to turn around and do that. and duckie isn’t even the only one, she’s just the one i’m closest to who reza did that with.

she has accused so many of us of being clout obsessed or chasing clout. i am no professional, nor can i make claims with 100% certainty, but i would go out on a limb and say i’m fairly positive those accusations are heavy projection. many of her accusations are, to be frank. she has always been seeking “clout”, attention really, ever since the beginning. she used to tell me her biggest dream was to end up on one of those writer reccomendation lists and so it doesn’t surprise me at all that her supposed final straw with lu was being excluded from one, even accidentally. but of course, she’s certainly accused all of us time and time again that we’re obsessed with clout, that we’re all only friends with each other for clout. and it’s sad to me, that that’s how she sees friendship, a means for exchange. but it’s clear that’s how she treats friendships.

she also accused someone of copying art. now whether they did or not, i have absolutely no clue. but when she showed me the supposedly copied art, i told her i wasn’t an artist and i’m also pretty face blind so i wasn’t sure if i was the best judge of whether it was copied or not. she got very angry at me for not believing her, and i tried to reassure her i trusted her perspectives i just couldn’t make the call myself. this became a repetitive situation between us — her making an accusation, me trying to dispute or to even just deflect and move on in conversation, and she’d get mad at me or just straight up stop replying. it was exhausting.

the rumors she has spread about me and others on here are horrible. some of the things she’s said about me have me absolutely floored. there’s things i’d love to address, but i don’t want to throw the person who told me what she said under the bus. but what i will say, is she basically acts as if i’m incompetent without her. i hate to throw around accusing words, but in retrospect many of the things she did and said to me and things she’s said and done since ending our friendship feel incredibly ableist and infantalizing.

now onto what really brought all of this to head. i’m sure all of you have seen the posts referring her calling a trans poc a nazi, but that’s not my story to tell really. my story is what happened after. she dmed me in the midst of that situation to complain to me about the person she accused of being a nazi, and i essentially told her not to bring me in the middle of it. at the time they were both my friends, and i thought she was acting incredibly out of pocket. of course, she grew upset, but insisted she wasn’t trying to bring me into it. i told her i didn’t think her accusation was fair, she told me that this person blocking her was “proof” that they were a nazi supporter, and i basically told her that was quite a leap. we didn’t talk for awhile after that, until she reached out again saying she didn’t want to lose me as a friend and this very long, nice message. i told her i valued her friendship a lot and as her friend, i felt it was my duty to tell her she fucked up and that she should apologized. she admitted to me she knew she was wrong. she admitted it. but she said something like it was too late to do anything about it. one of our last dm exchanges was her saying i was the one person she didn’t want to lose. then she blocked everyone.

so when she tells people i blocked her, or i ended the friendship, or whatever, that’s not true. i didn’t block her until she blocked me. i was never mean to her, not even at the very bitter end. if she thinks i was a bad friend, by all means she can think that, but i tried my best day in and day out to be a good friend. i wanted to make things work so badly, i truly loved reza as a best friend, we had so many good memories together. it broke my heart to watch her behave that way and go on to behave how she’s behaved since. i thought she was better than all of that.

she’s thrown out all sorts of wild accusations towards nearly everyone on here, including claiming we’re all lesbophobic for not supporting her gofundme. this is where her hypocrisy becomes evident. her close friend who has since deactivated had made a post basically claiming that posting “a few words” isnt activism right in the middle of when many of us on here were sharing donation links of black people in need in the aftermath of the chauvin verdict, which reza reblogged. both reza and her friend shared their own gofundmes mere days after that post. i thought that was absolutely despicable. not to mention the amount of times she’s accused lu of being transphobic and a bad ally, or reblogged posts of her cis friend claiming lu is a bad ally, which just isn’t true in the slightest. lu is an upstanding individual, and truly the pinnacle of allyship in my mind. she doesn’t just reblog a post to look good, she’s truly an amazing and supportive friend. couldn’t ask for better than that.

reza is hypocritical in so many other, smaller ways. she attacked someone for simply watching a critical review of attack on titan but continues to stan groups and people who have problematic or questionable pasts or elements to them. of course, media has problematic elements and we can engage with that critically, but the problem is she seems to think only she can do that and other people are free game to jump on and make wild accusations about. she claimed softblocking people was dumb, only to softblock me herself days later. the expectations she places on others she feels no obligation to uphold herself.

she has made attempts to entice new writers into this community by promoting them, praising their work, and claiming they can be the biggest writer etc all the while on her twitter tweeting things to the effect of all the writing on hc tumblr is boring now, or twice fic isn’t as good anymore, dreamcatcher fics are better etc etc. it’s disgusting. she brought innocent people fresh to the community into this nonsense and the second they didn’t validate her entire pov she deleted everything relating to them on her blog, all her promotions, and tweeted she’ll never help a new writer again. it was horrible to watch how many people became involved in this messy web and got hurt because of it.

i want to end all of this by apologizing from the bottom of my heart to anybody who i was swayed into a wrong opinion of by reza, to anyone who i spoke on without realizing i was being clouded by her manipulation, and to all of my friends who she spoke so poorly about. i did everything i thought i could to defend the people i cared about, but as many others can attest to she’s incredibly hard to argue against. it’s painful, and sometimes i hit a point of exhaustion. i am so sorry. i am truly, truly sorry to anyone who has been hurt by this situation, by reza or any of her friends or anybody. it was terrible being stuck in that cycle of awfulness, and i feel so much guilt thinking that i could’ve ever contributed to her poor actions and words about others. i trusted her with so many private things and i regret it more than anything.

that’s the hardest part of this, that i trusted her with so much. i trusted her with many things i would hardly share with anyone else. i told her embarrassing stories, shared much of my traumas to her, told her about my sister and my family and my girlfriend and all of these personal things. she told me so many things in return, but i know who i am. i know i would never share any of those things, none of the embarrassing stuff or the private stuff, nor would i laugh at it even to myself. but i know who she is, and that makes me feel like someone who i can’t trust holds so many things i shared in comfort, a comfort i no longer have. it’s difficult to grapple with.

and reza, if you’re reading this and i’m pretty positive you will be — i hope you find peace within yourself so you don’t have to treat people this way. perhaps i’m too optimistic, too kind and too trusting and too easily tricked, but i would rather be that than live the way you have, paranoid and bitter inside towards everyone. i hope you find a way beyond that, and i mean that genuinely.

[izzymcfeegles]

Yet another post about Sebastian Stan:

I'm seriously tired of making these posts, but over the past few days, there has been a lot of controversy surrounding Sebastian's most recent IG post, and as a result,more things are resurfacing and its become impossible for me to ignore. I'm going to try my best to give a fair assessment, but if I'm being honest, this all appears to be a pretty troublesome pattern of behavior. Before I get into any of that, I think it's important to mention where I stand on cancel culture. As someone who is a longtime fan of wrestling and classic rock, I'm no stranger to seeing some of my favorite artists act in ways that would be considered unacceptable by today's standards. I do think that stan Twitter has a tendency to be a bit harsh when it comes to judging things that people have done in the past. That being said:

Context is important. The reality is that there were many things that were considered to be socially acceptable at one point in time, that we've since learned can be harmful, particularly to those who are marginalized on the basis of race, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, etc. Something that was considered to be acceptable 2005, we later find can be toxic and harmful. Do I think it's productive to cancel for someone for something they did decades ago that was considered to be acceptable at the time? Not necessarily. However, if this person continues to exhibit the same behaviors to this day, then yes, they should be rightfully taken to task.

In Sebastian's case, he has a documented history of saying and doing things that are ignorant and tone-deaf. In the early 2010's he made an comment about playing Bucky as a "transvestite," a word that is considered to be dated and offensive to Trans people. If I'm being honest, if I saw the interview the date it aired, I probably wouldn't have blinked twice as I was not as educated on Trans issues at that time. I now know that the comment was unacceptable and hope Sebastian does too.

Regarding the Jeff!Seb pedo memes, I'd be lying if I said my edgy 2009 self wouldn't have found them funny at one point, however in 2017, my adult self was not amused. And coming from someone who was playing an abuser at the time, liking those memes was a bad look. Same goes for the Kneegate meme, especially when you consider the amount of hatred black NFL players were receiving from people including the President of the United States for kneeling in protest during the national anthem. It was tasteless, tone-deaf, and he should have known better. The fact that his "apology" over the incident was surrounded by quotes, and as some fans speculated, copied and pasted did not help matters. Mind you, many fans were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and forgive him, and for a while things seemed okay.

Fast forward to 2020. After the man made it a point to shame Miami spring breakers for vacationing during the pandemic, he is seen months later vacationing in Ibiza and later Tulum. The fact that he used his money and Romanian passport to go on vacation while many of us were either stuck at home or worse, putting our lives at risk to put food on the table, understandably did not sit well with many people, especially when taking his previous comments about pandemic vacationers into account. The fact that his traveling partner is a socialite who has a history of doing cultural appropriation, including doing brown face and using the word "savage" in reference to her friend doing a native war cry made it sting even more. I'm not going to go into depth about her because she doesn't deserve the attention and this is about holding Sebastian accountable, but the fact that he is still with her and they appear to be inseparable, it's clear that her history of CA is a non-issue for him. Make what you will of that.

Moving to recent actions. The current project Sebastian is working on is controversial in its own right. As someone who has been a Mötley Crüe fan for almost 20 years, I am familiar with the history of that relationship and how toxic is was and will never defend Tommy and the abuse Pamela suffered at his hand. While my issue is mostly with the producers, it doesn't change the fact Sebastian and Lily are still willfully participating in a series that Pamela herself does not wish to be made.

Sebastian's most recent post seems to be catalyst for the most recent wave of Twitter outrage. I am well aware that Tommy is/was a practicing Buddhist and that things like Buddha statues were part of his home decor. That's not the issue. The issue lies in the face Sebastian chose to make in the photo where he appears to be prying to the statue, along with the caption "find your zen fuckerz." Once again, I am aware of Tommy's speech patterns and get that it was "in character," but to use the combination of that photo and that caption as a non-Buddhist, it's understandable why some Buddhist fans were offended and saw it as disrespectful. And as a non-Buddist, I don't think it's right to tell these people what they should and should not be offended by.

So for those of you who hate paragraphs, TL/DR:

Sebastian has a documented history of ignorant behavior and posts and as of now does not seem to be interested in addressing these things and learning about why the aforementioned behaviors are problematic and why some fans are hurt. This is not okay and we should not be defending him.

I understand that for many of you, he has been a source of joy. Bucky is still my comfort character and I will always be grateful to Seb for portraying the him with the nuance and care he deserves. I'm not asking anyone to stop staning Bucky or to take down your Seb x Reader fanfics. Life is short and you're entitled to the things that make you happy. Just understand that his actions have hurt a lot of people and why fans are upset and lashing out. While I do not condone any threats or doxxing aimed at his direction, the same goes to people who criticize him. I've seen people go to some vile lengths to defend him, from going after Pamela, a victim of abuse, to telling Buddhists how they should feel about their own religion, to anons telling the blogs who call him out to go kill themselves. None of this is ok. At the end of the day, Sebastian is a 38-year-old white man who has a great deal of money and influence and has more social capital than the people calling him out. He will be fine regardless of what happens and does not need people to protect him. The same cannot be said about the people he hurt through his actions.

[ronsenburg]

Hi! I wanted to ask you something about Klapollo. What topic/argument do you think could possibly cause them to break up or take a break from the relationship? I live for the drama and was thinking about maybe writing a fic but like I dont want to make either of them assholes, like Apollo bringing Kristoph up to hurt Klavier, for example. I don't think he would do that but I struggle to come up with something else.

Oh boy, I hope you’re not upset about this, but I wrote you an essay. I’m sorry.

Overall, I really like the klapollo relationship timeline because, compared to, say, narumi/su they have a much more normal, organic story. They meet, flirt, share a mutual trauma, get together! Totally normal! But I also think that they would have a much harder time than narumi/su finding the balance you need in a serious relationship and I can see them calling it quits for perfectly practical reasons that aren’t really anything to do with one being a jerk, you know? Here are my top things that I think they would have to navigate and maybe struggle with before a real happily ever after:

1. Money. You’ve probably seen my post where I talk about Apollo feeling uncomfortable with displays of affluence. I don’t think that this is an easy one to get past. AA6 Spoilers, but Dhurke and Datz literally raised them in hiding on the run in the mountainous jungles of Khura’in. They sent Apollo to the states as a nine year old. We don’t know what he did when he got here, but my money’s always been on the foster system. That doesn’t typically breed a sense of stability, financial or otherwise. 

From my experience (so take it with a grain of salt), children who grow up with very little tend to behave in one of two ways when they reach financial stability and/or achieve wealth: first option, they’re really bad with it. They spend it nearly as fast as they make it on things they didn’t get to have or experience when they were growing up. Second option, they never spend it. They know what it’s like to be without, so they save as much of it as they can so they have the security of knowing, if something happens, they won’t have to go back to the way it was before. I will always put Apollo in the latter category. He works hard for what he has and what he gets and, I think, things that signify extravagance make him uncomfortable. On the other hand, I think that the Gavin’s have always had some sort of wealth. Klavier and Kristoph have very different aesthetics to their spaces that we get to experience (Klavier’s office and Kristoph’s cell) but they’re both pretty lavish. Now, we can assume they each made their money individually in their respective careers but, honestly, Kristoph’s cell is so gaudy. To me, it screams “this is what I’m used to and I refuse to accept any less” which is an attitude that I feel comes more from a lifetime of that treatment. 

So if we accept everything that I’ve said above as true, trying to put a person who saves every penny they get and feels bad treating themselves with a person who spends money freely because it’s been a constant throughout their life? It can go poorly. Casually dating, maybe it’s not such an issue once Apollo says “please no more presents and can we just get takeout for once?” but if you’re talking about something more serious, where you have to live in the same space and pay joint bills and be confronted with the other person’s spending habits constantly, it’s a whole other thing. Please take it from me as a person in a long term relationship who loves their partner tremendously—everyone fights about money. Everyone. It would be very difficult for Apollo to feel comfortable, even if he knew that finances were in good shape and there was savings, etc. Things happen, people leave. Nothing gold can stay. Changing that line of thinking takes work. It would also be easier said than done for Klavier to just do an about face on his own habits for Apollo’s comfort. Being a celebrity makes money, but it costs money, too. There is a certain amount of lushness that people expect. That can’t just go away. These are things that become bigger problems overtime, no matter how much you love each other. 

Anyway, I would be really surprised if—even if you’re writing them as really happily married—Apollo doesn’t have a ‘emergency fund’ that even Klavier doesn’t know about. It’s a ‘just in case’. Just in case Klavier leaves him. Just in case he needs to get away fast. Just in case the world ends. It’s not a logical thing, something that he sat down and rationalized doing, it’s just there because it feels better to have it than to not. But that can be kind of hurtful if the other person finds out about it, so. There you go, a whole minefield of money related drama.

2. Apollo’s Abandonment Issues. He’s got them! What do you call and orphan twice over who also lost his very best friend? I don’t know, but if capcom doesn’t stop picking on my boy I’m going to kick them in the teeth. I will still never get over AA6 for telling us that Dhurke took Apollo in when he was orphaned as a baby, then abandoned him in the USA, then came back for him and got his hopes up, and then was actually dead the whole time! Hahahaha! What a trip! 

Anyway, you don’t come back from that super easy. People who suffer this kind of trauma usually have a really hard time trusting others, which is understandable. They also can have unrealistic needs from their partners, become codependent, or even just self-sabotage their relationships, pulling away first to try and avoid the pain because they think the other person will leave them. I think that last one is most likely for Apollo, especially given the disparity in circumstances I mentioned above. If Apollo can’t trust that Klavier actually loves him, can’t trust that he won’t leave him like EVERYONE ELSE HAS, then they can’t have a healthy relationship. Drama.

3. Klavier’s Emotional Trauma. Kristoph is a pretty big jerk to Klavier in the last case of AA4. He criticizes and undermines Klavier, threatens and admits to manipulating him. In the anthology, Klavier shares an “lol so funny!” story about Kristoph accidentally breaking a window while he and Klavier are playing ball. In it, he convinces Klavier that it was his fault and that he should take the blame and apologize for breaking the window! And Klavier does! That’s gaslighting, baby, and since the Anthology is supposed to be canon, we can take that to mean it’s been happening since Klavier was a kid. Think about that. An entire life of gaslighting and manipulative behavior! You don’t come back from that easily, either. 

People who experience emotional abuse can, among other things, suffer from depression and low-self esteem. They need affirmation from their partners and can have a hard time with letting people in or being honest (though not from a malicious mindset—more a “I’m going to say what I think you want to hear because if you’re happy, bad things won’t happen!”). They can also always be waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. Sure things are good, but when will that end and the bad time start? It’s a self fulfilling prophecy: if all you can do is worry about things going wrong, then you aren’t actually enjoying when things are going right and you will cause the issues you’re so worried about. Drama.

4. Fame. Klavier has been in the spotlight since he was a literal child. If the Gavinners were already hits when Klavier was 17, they likely formed and starred their rise some time before then. A year, maybe two? Klavier spent his formative years in the spotlight. He quite literally doesn’t know any other way. Apollo, on the other hand, has never experienced the kind of scrutiny he’d be subject to when dating someone like Klavier. It can be really stressful and hurtful and just overall not a good time. And I’m not saying that Klavier wouldn’t be sympathetic, but I don’t think he would really understand how difficult it could be to have been thrust into that position out of nowhere, because he’s had years of dealing with it and was in a completely different place in life when it began for him. It’s not unreasonable to think that Apollo might not be able to take it. You can love someone and want to be with them but if you can’t adapt to their lifestyle, it’s not going to work. They could walk away rather than risk what might happen to Apollo if they kept it up. Drama.

5. Careers. They both have very demanding jobs. While sharing a similar profession can mean there’s a mutual understanding, it can also cause issues if you... never get to see each other? Schedules can be out of alignment (which could easily happen; their cases can’t always line up and they seem to require a lot of time investment outside of just normal hours). If Klavier goes back into music, that’s an additional time constraint. Why be in a relationship when you can only see the other person for moments here and there? What about the stress that comes with those jobs? That can cause drama.

6. Klavier looks like Kristoph. They are very different people, yes, but similar enough in some ways that it could cause tension. Maybe Klavier is tired and stressed and snaps at Apollo, and suddenly, all Apollo can see is Kristoph and all he can feel is the uncomfortable churning in his stomach that goes along with the memories of him. Someone he trusted, someone who let him down. That’s a difficult subject to broach, and it can fester like an infected wound if left intended. 

But Apollo sounds like Kristoph sometimes. We saw it in AA5, which is, of course, an extreme circumstance. But it can come out from time to time in other ways. A phrase that slips out, the way he intones certain words, the way he signs off in his emails—little things that are harmless, but can still act as triggers. 

Sometimes you need to get away from things that can remind you of your past in order to work on getting over them. If you are in love with someone who shares a similar trauma, who brings those issues from the past to light frequently just by being themselves, it might not be a healthy situation. I don’t think they would need to throw it in each other’s faces for it to become an issue. Drama.

There are more, but I probably took this more seriously than you intended. Whoops! Anyway, I hope that helps??? Maybe???? I hope you get them back together in the end because they deserve to be happy though!!!!!!!

[beebrainedstudios]

Hello! Could you tell me more about how you interpret/headcanon the sentient magic in Darker shades of magic? I read some of yours posts and I'm fascinated by the concept

Hi, and thank you! I'm glad you've found my theories interesting! This may be a little bit long and rambling, as I’m still nailing out just how I interpret the magic in this series. Some of this I came up with on the spot and some of it’s torn from previous posts, so if I later change things or contradict myself, that’s why. Enjoy!

So, magic is canonically implied to have some sort of will in the series. As Kell says it’s alive, even if it isn’t alive in quite the same way that people are, and it seems to express some sort of comprehension in the way that it has the potential to resist, act out, or flee (as is the case in White London). It seems to have the capacity to think and possess an agenda too, such as when Kell was able to perform spells he technically shouldn’t have (As Travars-ing while under the influence of a royal sword); the magic “let him in,” with the implication being it was because he asked it instead of commanding it. Now, I don’t think it’s sentient in the same way that Osaron is- it’s more like a force made of the threads of power, acting naturally, but with enough understanding to show favor or distaste. It’s not organic, it doesn’t think organically, but it can perceive and respond.

However, this kind of magic isn’t the only kind. I like to think that magic in ADSOM occurs in different types. First, there’s natural magic, the kind discussed above that is present everywhere and in everything. This kind of magic is sort of like a blanket that covers each world. Before the Split, it was able to move between each world, but regardless of where it’s from, magic develops a different “personality” depending on its relationship with the local people. Natural magic has a symbiotic relationship with humans that is supposed to be mutualistic- the magic gets used (which is its primary motivation) and people reap the benefits. In a stable world where this is happening, magic moves swiftly and readily interacts with people. However, in worlds where this relationship is disrupted (such as in Grey where it isn’t used) or where magic is abused (such as in White where magic is needed so much that they bind it), it has a tendency to leave or wither. In short, it won’t stay in a hostile or poor environment.

All people also have their own specific magic, which is really just their personal store of power that’s used whenever they cast spells and whatnot. This varies tremendously based on age, skill, luck, and other factors, but every person has access to different elements or spell types (Runes vs enchanting objects, for example). The scent also varies with each person, but only those who are well equipped in tracking magic or Antari are usually able to distinguish it.

Then there’s oshoc- AKA Osaron and Vitari. There’s no specific definition for them, but I’m going to define them as a separate chunk of magic that originated from a source and is capable of learning; basically a magic AI. Now, the books are vague on Osaron’s origins; magic appeared in Black London one day, but refused to interact with people until it grew lonely and bored enough to seek them out, and this is when Osaron first appears. Now, I’m going to take it a step further and say this was when Osaron was actually born; natural magic had already appeared, but a separate piece of it broke off due to a new desire and ceased being everywhere and in everything so it could be its own contained entity. So, Osaron can act independently of natural magic and actually works by manipulating the threads of power; he’s a catalyst that can manipulate the “equations” of spells, starting them or stopping them or changing them around. However, he still has the same innate desire to interact and change that natural magic has. He also made the Vitari stone, which is where Vitari comes from- it later developed a consciousness that is much less developed than Osaron (it is actively learning during ADSOM) but still focused on spreading and being used. As a general rule of thumb, an oshoc is able to use any magic no matter what kind it is- there’s not so much a symbiotic relationship there as a system they can access at any time. For humans, it’s a relationship; for oshoc, it’s a bunch of threads to be moved, as they don’t differentiate between natural magic or themselves and natural magic doesn’t either. All oshoc also rely on other sources of power to “jump-start” their own, typically in the form of the worlds' magic or humans.

Spells and enchanted objects are not magic- they are manipulations of magic that draw on its power, essentially chemical equations in magical chemistry, if that makes sense. So no will, no agenda, nothing- they’re just actions, but they can affect natural magic and oshoc. Normal spells are generally viewed positively by natural magic as a sign of use, but things like binding runes and the collar are seen as threats. Most spells are allowed or even aided by magic- meaning they are used easily- but anyone with a strong enough will or power will be able to use magic regardless of whether or not magic “likes” it (such as Athos with Vitari).

Finally, there’s Antari. Being a mixture of man and magic, natural magic has an innate connection with them that usually amounts to mutual affection for both parties. This bond is always present even when passive, and allows Antari to sense magic much more easily than normal humans; it is also what is responsible for the instinctual urge to travel and need to use their magic often. Antari feel a pull towards strong magic that can be compared to warmth in a cold room. The bond is stronger when an Antari likes their magic and tries to connect with it- this is why Kell (and Rowan) are typically favored by magic and allowed to get away with impossible spells, while characters like Lila or Holland have to put a little more work into it. There are a few drawbacks to this connection though, most notably a weakness in magic-poor areas and a vulnerability to oshoc, which directly prey on this connection in order to possess them. Due to the strength of this connection, humans placing large scale attacks on Antari can draw magic's ire, leading to storms and disasters as magic wields the elements to make a point. This generally only occurs when extremely powerful Antari are killed or when they die in large numbers though. On a smaller scale, it is common for flowers to grow in any earth that Antari blood touches, and an Antari's sour mood can summon rain or wind.

A few other random thoughts on the subject:

The reason Osaron and Vitari can possess Antari while Astrid can’t is due to their access to magic’s threads- oshoc can hijack the Antari-magic connection to more easily enter a mind than a human would be able to.

Examples of natural magic’s “favor;” Kell As Travars-ing while stabbed by a royal-half sword and Holland instinctually learning Antari spells with no prior knowledge of them.

It’s magic itself that Holland hears calling him when he dies.

The black plague is not a kind of magic, it’s a virus-like thing that overtakes and corrupts magic until it excites itself into nothing. Osaron is not solely capable of making it and does not consciously do so. The plague simply appears when magic is too strong and being manipulated too much; Osaron tends to cause it due to his power levels and overindulgence in using magic, but anybody powerful and overly-eccentric enough could theoretically cause it too. Oshoc however are immune.

Oshoc have access to the threads of power and can instinctively use them, but they must naturally learn about everything else, which is why neither Vitari nor Osaron had any idea what was going on when they first went to Red London. This is also why they lack many human social traits and are so easily confused by human behavior. That being said, there are some spells they can use for shortcuts, such as automatically translating things (Osaron does it in ACOL).

Osaron also feels an innate appreciation for Antari like magic does, but his consciousness also allows him to be annoyed with him; while he’d like to befriend them all, he doesn’t mind getting rid of them if they aren’t willing to do the same.

Neither natural magic nor oshoc really have any moral drive. The latter could theoretically be taught morals, but they don't look at things the same way people do, so there's less internal pressure to behave than there is for them to cast spells. Like everything else, it would be a learning curve.

And that's all I've got for now! I realize I may have strayed slightly outside the topic of the sentient magic specifically; my apologies! I guess I just got excited writing about everything and how the magic systems connect. Enjoy!

[my-arlington-academia]

Cliffany (Claire×Tiffany) part 1

Hello there!!! It’s been a while. Yes, you’re not dreaming, this is a crackship fanfiction between Claire and Tiffany from sweet elite. I wrote this a couple of weeks ago and posted it on the Dulcet discord server. I’ve decided to post them on tumblr if anyone is interested (or not, that’s fine too.)

------------------------

"Cut the bullshit, Claire. I told you to stop sticking to me like glue!"

Tiffany was tired of it. No matter how many times she showed Claire how terrible she can be and how her words can cut deep, Claire kept coming back to her, looking for an explanation that doesn’t exist. Saying nonsensical one-liners like "are you really okay?" Or "You can talk to me if you need someone to listen." Tiffany found it pretty funny at first. Like, she could do any atrocity and this blond haired dumbass would come back to her anyway, thinking that she had some issues that needed fixing or something. After a while though, this shtick got annoying real quick. It was like Claire was completely unaware of who she was talking to and was blindly following the childish belief that everyone is kind and understanding on the inside.

"I’m just worried about you Tiffany, you keep pushing people away from you. That’s not good for your mental health. If you have troubles you can share them with someone..."

Tiffany sighed in exasperation. Was this girl senseless? Is that it?

"Listen here. I know you like to believe that everyone is good deep down but that’s not always the case. Not to mention, we’re not exactly close, you and I. If I wanted to "share" anything, it wouldn’t be with you."

"But..."

Claire’s eyes wavered for a second and she looked around, checking to see if there’s anyone nearby.

"...Honestly, the reason why I’m offering is because I don’t feel like you have anyone truly close to you. At least not in Arlington."

"Excuse me?"

One of the things that pissed Tiffany the most about Claire was that she could say the most insulting things with the best intentions, without any ounce of malice.

"Ha. And you’re the one to say this? You’re pretty much a wannabe psychiatrist who goes around being a punching bag for your classmates. People rely on you when they need you, but really? They don’t give a shit about you, honey."

Somehow, Claire’s gaze stayed on Tiffany, unchanging. This made her want to be meaner, more vicious, strike the parts she’s sensitive about. Claire was known to be patient like a saint and understanding like a mother. How nice would it be to finally put this dumb bitch in her place? Tiffany wanted to get a reaction from her, not only to make her leave but also because she was kind of interested to see what face she would make when she got upset.

"Oh, my apologies. What I told you just now, you were already aware of it, weren’t you? That you’re only needed as long as you’re useful. You might think that people like you Claire, but don’t get the wrong idea. You’re only useful, not lovable. Tell me about it sometime, how is it to be a walking doormat?"

Tiffany could feel it. Despite the fact that Claire’s expression still hasn't changed, there was a certain glow forming in her eyes. If she went on for long enough, she may be able to get the reaction she wanted.

"...Are you done, Tiffany? Can we talk like two civilized people now?"

"Hm. What was that? Do I hear some bitterness there, Miss I-Have-A-Savior-Complex? You probably got a lot of praise, huh? For your stupid speech at the department competition with your whole "people gather in front of misfortune" bullshit. Or- Ah! How could I forget, you also volunteer at the city’s hospital during weekends, right? You get all the praise and credit needed to get into Gold Tier even though all you really want is acknowledgement for your sorry existence."

Claire grabbed her skirt’s hem and kept tugging at it, looking down. In reality, Tiffany knew that there was no ill-will whatsoever behind Claire’s benevolent actions towards the people she took care of at the hospital. That was, however, the reason why she was so pissed right now. Instead of protesting against those baseless insults, Claire kept her silence, swallowing up her pride, waiting for this storm of verbal abuse to be over. At this point, Tiffany’s small conscience was telling her to stop. Yet, she couldn’t. Not now, not when she was getting closer and closer to results. And so, she kept pushing, wondering when Claire will finally talk back.

"Is that really what you think of me, Tiffany?"

"What’s wrong? Are you unable of taking any criticism, Claire? Or maybe you’re not used to being called out for your BS. You want it, don’t you? You want everyone to love you and have them keep you by their side while you’re playing the role of a perfect little girl who helps the weak but who’s just no fun to be with. The truth is that you just never learned to say no when people asked favors of you and it stayed as a habit. But instead of fixing that habit, you just went along with it, enjoying the attention."

Claire’s lips were starting to twist downward. There it was. The anger of being so blatantly insulted, the frustration of having to play nice even in front of someone who’s rude to you, the need to get all of those negative feelings out on someone and hurt them back either mentally or physically. Come hit me, yell at me and insult me. I finally get to see what you’re always hiding. No matter how ugly it is, I’ll accept it and laugh at it once you’re done pouring it out. When it comes to belittling others and making them feel worthless, I’m just the best at it.

"Honey, what’s going on? Want to turn back after coming so far? Well, I wouldn’t blame you. This is about the time when anyone would leave. Ah, by the way. Did you know that there was a certain rumor going around about the Durand family? Something like... a family member having a real nasty disease or something? So tell me who it is. Your mom, your dad? Surely not! He’s still working diligently everyday to take care of his little research facility in Florida. It would be terrible if he was actually pushing himself too hard to keep the business going, right?"

Tiffany finally went silent, grinning to herself, waiting impatiently for the crack to open and let the ocean out. Show it, Claire. Show that you can fight back so I can ridicule you even more for overselling your annoying "sweet girl" image.

However, none of that ever came.

"...Why... did you have to..."

Claire finally raised her head, showing a face full of tears. Despite that, she was trying to keep a smile on her face. "I’ve never seen anyone cry like that." Tiffany uselessly thought at first, until a wave of guilt she wasn’t even aware of went through her small conscience. There was something so upsetting about someone getting insulted to no-end and choosing to cry instead of letting their anger out. If only she exploded and hit her or yelled at her, it would’ve been better. But now, Tiffany felt like she just did something illegal. Attacked someone who didn’t have the means to defend themselves, who *didn’t* want to. Like she just robbed a homeless person who had barely any change left. It may have been the first time in her life that Tiffany truly felt pathetic for what she did. Shame, guilt, confusion. It was all welling up inside of her.

"Wh-why... *sniffle* Did you have to go so far... *sob* That was uncalled for..."

And yet you’re still not leaving? What’s wrong with this girl?! Before she even knew what was happening, Tiffany’s arms were reluctantly holding Claire into a tight embrace.

"A-are you a complete lunatic?? Why would you let me say all of this shit and cry afterwards?! That’s not how it works, you should’ve insulted me back and told me to fuck off!"

"I-I can’t... *sniff*"

"Why not?! Why can I and you can’t? You’re such a fucking moron, what the hell is wrong with you... When someone hits you, you hit them back! That’s basic knowledge every little kid has ever since kindergarten."

Claire’s hands slowly went up to return Tiffany’s hug. Through that small gesture, Tiffany felt every bit of emotion Claire was trying to communicate to her.

"Because... *sniffle* If I did you’d get sad and this conversation would end with both of us feeling sad... *sniffle* I know that you always act like you don’t care but, the truth is that you always get upset about what other people have to say about you, right? ...Especially with all of your social media accounts and the exposure you get. It must already be so hard to get so much unwanted criticism everyday even though you never asked for it..."

For some reason, before she even knew it, Tiffany’s heart rate picked up ever so slightly. To the point where neither she nor Claire even noticed it. After a relatively short amount of time, Tiffany let go of Claire, finally noticing how wet her blazer had gotten.

"Ugh. Seriously? Couldn’t you have at least- Oh God... You look like complete shit, go wash your face."

To that rude remark, Claire smiled gently, knowing that it didn’t have any malice behind it. Tiffany caught herself thinking that Claire really was an angel. She quickly erased it though. She didn’t want them to get involved in each other's business again, seeing how it can end. She didn’t want to make her cry again, no matter how weird that sounded coming from someone who never misses the chance to be a jerk. While parting ways, Claire’s crying face went through Tiffany’s mind again, filling her up with the desperate need to punch herself.

[belovedrival]

I’m waiting for the washer’s cycle to get done, so I might as well get some thoughts out:

Jonas has been suuuuuuuuuper cranky/clingy/crying loads for several days. I think it’s a combination of factors: we were at my parents’ house for a week, in which his normal schedule was completely thrown off, not to mention the overstimulation of eleven cousins in the house; the day after we got home from Missouri, I went back to work, so in Jonas’s eyes, Mama just vanished during the days, which had to at least be a huge change (not saying Mister doesn’t take care of our baby - it’s just Jonas was used to seeing me most of the time); my in-laws arrived a week ago, which is nice because they’ve been helping with the move and looking after their grandson, but it’s another disruption. He’s been waking up more at night as well, and he fights sleep and nap time during the day. This is why I really just want to be moved and the transition over. I want to be settled so we can establish a routine.

On to other thoughts…

My dad has always had a temper. I know, I inherited it. He’s mellowed a LOT since I was a kid, but he still flares up sometimes. I forget what that looks like to someone who didn’t grow up witnessing it - namely, Mister.

Right before we left Mom and Dad’s (literally, we had packed up and we were walking out the front door) Dad blew up at one of my nephews. He and a couple of his brothers were looking at a frame on the kitchen counter that shows pictures…we all upload them to a website and Mom and Dad get the pictures on this thing. All I saw was the boys leaning on the counter, looking at it. I have no idea what D did, but Dad just exploded on him, hollering to get away from the counter.

Later in the car Mister explained how he saw it. “The older boys had this look on their faces, like they wanted to get far away from your dad - and they looked like they’d seen that kind of thing before and were glad they weren’t in the firing line. And your dad didn’t give D ANY time to react, he just screamed at him.”

All of the above is true.

I don’t tend to react when Dad does that kind of thing; I definitely think I feel a combination of waiting for the sudden thunderstorm (so to speak) to blow over, surprise that he still can react so strongly to something that, at least, doesn’t appear to be a big deal at all, and, like my oldest nephews, I feel a certain amount of self-preservation is in order. “Better them [the other person/people] than me.”

That was the second similar incident we’d witnessed during the week. Dad had apologized to the grandchild he’d yelled at earlier in the week, and his apology was before a meal, in the presence of everyone. I do give my father credit for admitting that he’s wrong, and apologizing in front of everyone.

To Mister, that isn’t enough. “It would be better if he didn’t explode at all, rather than having to apologize after the fact,” he said. While I agree with him on the merits I wonder if it’s wise to expect a 65 year old man to stop acting like - well, the same way he’s acted for at least sixty years. Human nature being what it is, I think the best I can expect is that such incidents will diminish. They HAVE done so over the years. I know. I grew up with the man.

All of this is not to say I condone his behavior. I recalled to Mister a similar incident when I was a child (and was bearing the brunt of my dad’s anger), and I remember what I told myself in that moment: “I will never be like you.”

Bold thoughts, especially for a child, and probably premature, being that it’s rare for an adult to keep promises, even to herself, that she made as a child - and long before she became a parent herself. But I am going to do my best to keep that promise to my twelve year old self. I do not want Jonas to have a memory of me losing it, and him thinking, “I don’t ever want to be like her.”

I have a choice. I don’t have to say, as Mister heard my brother say after the earlier incident, “well, that’s what it was like for us growing up”. That is true, but it seems to be giving a sort of “what can you do?” sort of vibe. We can do better.

Some people might read this and think I grew up in an abusive home. I did not. Not at all. I grew up in a loving home with flawed parents, who made mistakes (both of them). They taught us the importance of apologizing fully for one’s mistakes, and not making excuses for them. I learned the value of forgiveness. True repentance deserves real forgiveness.

I want to be better. I also don’t want to fear that when I make mistakes, that I’ll be judged for them with no possibility of forgiveness from those I’ve wronged. It is a two way street: we can’t expect perfection from imperfect people, and if someone asks for forgiveness and we refuse (for any reason) it will harm us as well as the one who’s done wrong.

Also, to be clear: as a Christian, yes, it is an obligation for me to forgive fellow Christians. (And anyone else who asks sincerely.) Forgiveness does NOT mean being absolved from all consequences. My dad asked for forgiveness from all of us present for the first incident when he lost his temper; and it was given to him. The pattern of him losing his temper, however, also means that at some point in the not so distant future I and my husband will have to talk to him. We do not want our child, his grandchild, to be at the receiving end of his anger as Jonas gets older. We do want Jonas to know and love his grandpa. We expect my dad to keep his temper around him. If he doesn’t, he will not have the privilege of having Jonas stay with them alone. I will most certainly have that conversation with my mother present.

As I said in a previous post, lots of thoughts about our week at mom and dad’s. I did stop thinking about our move for awhile, though! 🙂

Be well, friends.

[datesoma]

                   Why you should get into Black Clover.

I know some people are undecided on whether or not they should give Black Clover a try, so I came up with a list of reasons why they might like the series, and why I think it’s worth the time. If you have any to add, feel free to!

1. Asta is an amazing protagonist. He was born without magic in a world where everyone had it to the point that the only means of transportation are magic-based (spatial magic, brooms that you have to feed your mana to etc), and as an orphan in one of Clover’s outskirt villages to boot. Yet Asta worked hard every day anyway, and through his own efforts became the 2nd physically strongest character after Yami. Because of this, he got a Grimoire from which (so far) three swords can emerge, and which allowed him into the Magic Knights. Asta’s main sword cannot be held by anyone else both because of its massive weight (which Asta can easily endure because of his physical training), and because the sword sucks the person’s mana out of them (which doesn’t affect Asta since he has no mana).

Despite always seeming cheerful and headstrong though, Asta actually suffers from deep-seated insecurities and depression. Being the only person without magic in the world, he was subjected to ridicule, discrimination and comparisons ever since he was a young child; and in the beginning of the story he almost had his breaking point, had it not been for Yuno’s words helping him get back up, which is when he swore to never come close to giving up again, as well as made sure that his personal issues wouldn’t interfere with his self-image and relationships.

Asta also tries to understand his enemies, where they come from and what drove them to act that way, as well as tries to help them. He doesn’t like going straight into the fighting, and would much rather settle it verbally, since that wouldn’t result in any casualties. He values life, and doesn’t want to see others throw theirs away for something that could be easily resolved with words; so every time one of his enemies dies of their own volition, Asta is shaken by their actions. He also has respect for most of his enemies, and was even seen picking flowers and putting them at the enemy’s grave while being saddened by their death, even though he had no obligation to.

However, Asta does want to hold bad people accountable for their actions instead of symphatizing with their backstory right off the bat. He will understand their motivations, but if they’ve already done the evil deed, they’ll have to deal with the consequences and make sure they’ll never do anything like it again. Like I hinted above, by “consequences” I don’t mean death. Asta never stands for the death sentence, and instead tells his enemies that they’ll have to spend their lives making up to the people they’ve hurt, both by serving time in prison, and by apologizing and outright helping others. After they atone for their sins, Asta is also wholeheartedly fine with becoming friends with them and helping them be better.

Asta is a truly inspiring and refreshing character, and has come to be one of my favorite characters of all time, even though I don’t usually fall for the protagonists. He’s humane, kind and has a certain charm that drags you in; and he’s per overall a feel-good character who motivates you to be your best self.

2. Black Clover has the best fleshed out female characters in all of Shounen so far, and they’re not sexualized. It was made obvious in the latest popularity poll, where we had 5 women and 5 men in the top 10. The only issue I’ve seen from the fandom regarding Black Clover’s female characters is that “they all have a crush on someone”, but that’s wrong. Black Clover has some great female characters that don’t have anything to do with crushes and romance, and the most striking example is Mereoleona. Other than her, we also have Theresa, Puli, Dorothy, Fragil, Nebra, Grey, Mariella, Kahono, Charla, Elf Fana and the Witch Queen.

Noelle may have a crush on Asta, but it’s not her defining trait. She has her own personal issues that stem from her backstory, and she works through them as the story progresses. She gets plenty of character development, and a lot of screentime. The anime tends to exaggerate her crush on Asta for the giggles, but the manga handles it pretty well. Mimosa, Charlotte and Charmy are all strong women whose crushes only come in second place to their actual parts in the story. Their crushes aren’t there solely for the trope either, since they serve as one of the girls’ motivations to get stronger.

To top it off, the women fight on equal grounds with the men, and some of them are even stronger than the best male fighters in the series. Mereoleona for one, is done so well that even the men watching the show had to admit she’s probably stronger than Yami, who is one of the strongest people in the entire series, Asta’s mentor and one of the fandom’s favorites.

As for the sexualization, there have been three instances in over 200 chapters that I can think of, one of which was in the anime and I am fairly sure Tabata didn’t even want to add them in (I’ve read a post once that said Shounen Jump probably has an agenda of a minimum amount of fanservice they push onto all their authors, and it’d make sense if it's true).

3. Yuno is different from the typical Shounen rival in a refreshing way, the rivalries shown in Black Clover are generally healthy and the show makes a point of showing you’re always stronger when you’re supported by and working alongside your friends. Yuno doesn’t “turn evil” & isn’t on bad terms with Asta; instead, he’s supportive and genuinely wishes for Asta to thrive and become his best self. Their rivalry is based on mutual respect, friendship and trust, and they’ve known and lived with each other since their early childhood.

While Yuno does encompass the “gifted kid” trope, he never once thought he was better than Asta, and instead of gloating about his magic, he continued to work hard magic-wise and physically (which many wizards tend not to, especially the gifted ones). He holds similar values as Asta, and wishes to become the Wizard King to make the country more accepting, equal and overall a better place. Because of this, the end of Yuno and Asta’s rivalry could go either way, since both of them deserve the title of Wizard King, and there’s no way to tell which one of them will become the Wizard King for sure, even though Asta is considered the main protagonist (I sure hope Asta will, though).

Other important rivalries are Luck and Magna’s, two misfits who prank but nonetheless still respect each other and who would go to amazing heights to make sure the other is alright; Asta, Yuno and Leopold’s, which helped Leopold grow; and Nozel and Fuegoleon’s, who have a slightly more tense rivalry, but who have competed since their childhood and who care for each other despite some of their moments of animosity.

The Black Bulls are a prime example of the found family trope, and their relationships with each other played major parts in each of their character stories.

4. Black Clover deals with several issues we also face. One of the main themes of the show is classism, and the way the poor and the disabled struggle in the corrupt system made by the rich and abled. Despite being orphans from the country’s outskirts (meaning one of the poorest places with the least amount of magic in the entire kingdom) Asta and Yuno’s goal is to attain the title of Wizard King, who is the strongest and most beloved wizard in the entire kingdom. To do so, they have to gain the citizens’ support and approval, and tear down the walls that oppress the poor and uplift the rich; but because of several centuries of discrimination, most royalty and nobles believe they are superior to the peasants, and that’s painstakingly clear from the moment Asta and Yuno leave their village and head for the more noble-populated cities.

Family problems and abuse are present in a good chunk of the Black Bulls’ stories, but the blame is never put on the victims. Instead, each of them gets their own arc in which they deal with their trauma, and it’s all handled well. Their issues don’t magically stop in their respective arcs either, but rather that’s the starting point of the change.

There are also several instances thorough the show that deal with suicide (mostly from the enemy’s side), as well as Asta’s great distaste of it and attempts to stop his enemies from killing themselves for their cause. Asta’s speeches on this topic are always positive and motivational, and I like reading them since they make me feel better, too.

Another shared issue is the racism, which also delves further into genocide. I won’t say too much as to not spoil it for those of you who will read/watch Black Clover, but this theme is related to the humans and the elves.

5. On that note, there are several races in the Black Clover universe that we know of so far. They are the humans, who the series is mainly focused on; the elves, who play a very big part of the show’s first saga; the devils and the dwarves. It’s likely that we’ll also get introduced to more races as the story goes on, and so far all of them have been done nicely.

6. The art style of the manga is stunning and the anime is also getting good. Per overall, I’d say the manga has the better aesthetics, but the anime does come in clutch with some of the fights (a couple of them were also extended in the anime, which was great; and Black Clover is known for its use of different animation styles in fights), while the music also helps add a certain feeling to the scenes that didn’t hit so hard in the manga. The Black Clover anime’s openings and endings are by far one of the best in all of anime. Even if you don’t plan to watch the show, you should definitely watch those. Currently we have 8 ops & eds, and they’re all bops. They’re one of the many reasons why Black Clover has become famous, anime-wise. 

Also, since I’ve seen a lot of complaints about Asta’s voice in the earlier episodes, it does get much better. The VA was new so his voice acting wasn’t too good, but it’s really come a long way since and it now fits Asta’s character perfectly. You should give it at least ten episodes before you make an opinion on whether to continue or drop the anime version (although I’d say it gets really good after thirty).

7. The series lets you choose what kind of pace you want. If you’re into faster paces, then the manga’s the perfect fit for you. Some people complained that the story moves too fast in the manga, but I personally like it. If you’re into slower paces, you can try checking out the anime. Since Black Clover’s an ongoing anime rather than one split into seasons, Studio Pierrot had to try and stall for time so the anime wouldn’t close in on the manga too soon; meaning the original content got stretched over a couple episodes, but nothing too bad.

8. Black Clover doesn’t have many fillers. People complain that it does, but it doesn’t. As of right now (ep. 96), there have been 5 purely filler episodes, out of which some were recap episodes. Other episodes have had some filler mixed into them, but it’s not obvious and it does add well to the story. We also got Yuno’s first mission (ep. 13) and the Light Novels animated (ep. 55-56 & 85-86), and those are to be considered canon.

9. The mystery of Asta and Yuno’s backstory pre-canon. The series takes a different approach with the protagonists’ backstory, and instead of telling us everything outright, it only shows Asta and Yuno as babies, left at the door of a church in Hage village at around the same time, 15 years prior to the story. At the time, they only had their names written on their clothes, and Yuno also had a necklace. Right now, we still don’t know who their parents are, what were the circumstances of their birth, if they’re blood related or not, and how come they were both left in the exact same spot, nor why there out of all places. I’m assuming this will be important later on in the series, since one of the arcs has already teased a possibility that was denied by the end of said arc.

10. The story mainly takes place in the Clover Kingdom, but there are three others that will become a focus later on. Diamond Kingdom, a hostile country that deals with black magic, human experimentation and wars; Heart Kingdom, a neutral country rich of mana that prefers to remain unseen and whose citizens use an unique style of magic; and Spade Kingdom, the most massive of the four, and also supposedly a militant country of winter. So far in the story we have learned several bits about the Diamond Kingdom, while the information on Heart and Spade is still very new and brief. This does for a nice change of settings. 

Also, since I’ve brought up the ‘unique style of magic’, Black Clover has a great power system, based on the elements and their subtypes, and even the most bland-sounding magic you never even thought of, can do wonders.

11. Black Clover is a funny show and it has various types of humor. Not only does it have comedic relief, like with Sekke, Yami and Gordon, but in the anime we also get Petit Clover, which is a short and usually amusing chibi-styled moment at the end of each episode. This was derived from the manga’s omakes in the same style and I’m guessing it had some success, since earlier in the year we also got an entire Petit Clover-styled series, named Mgyutto! Black Clover.

I’m a fan of both the manga and the anime, so I’d recommend reading and watching the series, but it’s fine no matter which you choose, and I hope I convinced at least some of you to get into this great show!

Credits for some of the points: 1, 2 (spoilers), 3 (spoilers), 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.

[ksmutclub]

Let’s take a step...

Good Evening Everyone. Admin Tomi here.

I think we’ve reached the need for a full stop. 

There’s going to be a lot here - please hang with me. I ask that you read this thoroughly, because I would like to have this be the cease fire for the current situation. 

Firstly,

We are deeply sorry for any hurt, pain, trigger, or traumatic essence that has arisen in the midst of viewing the Monster Smash prompt list. 

These prompts are based on popular horror movies and books. Things that we easily associate with Horror via authors like James Patterson and Stephen King [which a good chunk of these prompts come from]. So to us, and a majority of the voters/members, who wanted it to return? There was no issue. 

The club rules *specifically* state that we do not allow the following

WHAT WE DON’T REBLOG

Sexualization of minors,

Incest,

Eating disorders,

Self harm,

Glorification of mental illnesses,

Animal abuse,

Any controversial topics,

Political topics,

Masterlists,

WIPs posts,

Domestic violence,

Abusive relationships,

Pedophilia,

Necrophilia,

Homophobic topics,

Racist topics.

Rape.

That has been the long standing no-no’s of this club since its inception.  We didn’t understand why the anons, and few members that came forward, would think that we would: 

A - allow any story that breaks the rules to pass through. B - that any of the writers/creators/esteemed members of this club would dip down to those levels to create material that does exactly what we ask not to be done.

We’re all adults, and trust that everyone knows right from wrong, and understands the ramifications of such issues.

We in no way intended to cause trauma, downplay anyone’s trauma, or ‘insult’ anyone with mental health issues. 

But.

We cannot stop creators from writing things that may include dark topics. 

We believe in the portent of trigger warnings required on each story. Because what could be a trigger for you? Could be a cathartic release for someone writing from a similar experience, or someone with an interest in said experiences.

We trust and believe in you all to believe in self-care. Meaning that if someone happens to post a yandere story with a trigger warning for blood? That you would move to the next story. We believe that every reader and creator are the masters of their Tumblr experience and will act in accordance with the safety of their well-being and mental health in consideration.

With that all being said? The h***ler prompt was missed/misstep. Again, we profusely apologize for that one making the list. There is no excuse, I will attempt to offer none. The K Smut Club Admins will do better to be more mindful/careful/watchful of such things in the future.

Now, a point was made during the back and forth of the evening. That one message cleared most of the confusion. A trigger warning on the prompt list. Which in hindsight, may or may not have made a difference. But, it would at least show that we DID hear you about the certain prompts [esp. the h**ler one, cause that should've never gone up. So we thank that member for catching it]. 

So going forward, since this has been a lesson, we will make sure to trigger warning as best we can for the next Monster Smash event. As a reminder, the prompts are purely voluntary to serve as an example of what you could possibly write. None of these were mandatory, or necessary to participate in the event.

Again, with any event the idea of your story and where it goes is always up to you, the creator.

To the matter of the prompt examples list? 

We can all agree to disagree. Everyone perceives things differently. Again, we trust you all to be mindful of the rules and not write anything that would be considered illegal. For example:

A brother and sister find an old door in their basement that wasn’t there before.

Hansel and Gretel; or Brother and Sister monster hunters, sister gets kidnapped by demon that’s been lusting over Brother. Or in secret relationship with brother - sister is kidnapped with ultimatum to come on over to the bad side or they’ll make the sister disappear. So, no incest. 

The abused animals of a zoo are unleashed and wreak havoc on a small town.

Based on James Patterson’s Book ‘Zoo’[and there was a miniseries]. Animals of the world suddenly developed a genetic abnormality that caused them to rise up and try to take the planet back. Believe it or not? There was romance/sex involved in the people trying to save the animals, the world, and themselves. One of the scientists fell for a reporter as they worked together for a cure. The story written could have the two people getting together and that amount of care they have for solving the menace - solves it. So, no abused animals.

Deceased soldiers return to their Civil War-era homes.

Based on multiple episodes of the Twilight Zone or the Outer Limits. People that may have died with strong regrets and the people who miss them terribly are given an opportunity to come back for one day. Fully alive, flesh and blood, breathing living - to spend one day with each other to help them move on. Also the movie Warm Bodies where a zombie regains his humanity, and undoes the curse of the undead by falling in love, of all things. The ‘zombie’ fully regains his humanity, living breathing, and bleeding - there’s even a kiss. So, no  necrophilia.

A monster is terrified by the scary child who lives above his bed.

Based on Monsters Inc. and I’ve seen some Monster Inc Kpop fic smut out there, so it’s absolutely possible to have a single parent cleaning a kids room and shenanigans ensue, or not, and just be a super crack horror fic.

A family dog runs away from home. He returns a year later to the delight of his family. But there’s something different about him. Something demonic.

Based on Pet Sematary, Stephen King classic. Synopsis could be that parents lost a family pet, trying for a child, pet returns, horror ensues. 

A child sleep-walks into their parent’s room and whispers, “I’m sorry. The devil told me to.”

Based on Case 39. A movie where the kid was a literally a demon posing as a child, and manipulated everyone around her and caused a bunch of deaths/mishaps. 

I’ve made these few scant examples to prove there was no ill, illegal, or sick intent with the prompts posted. Each of them can be connected to a movie, book, or television series that many are familiar with. 

Even though the rules state smut is required, where the smut happens within prompt depends on the story. But, wherever it should so appear would be required, of course, to act within the bounds of the clubs rules. 

Because we trust you, the creators, to abide by them.

In closing,

Everybody has had different experiences in their lives. We are not going to pit pain against pain. No one’s pain is greater. Pain is pain and we all have suffered it, or will at some point. We must do what we need to in order to protect ourselves from things that hurt or trigger us. 

I believe every network feels this sentiment and uses the trigger warning requirement in order to protect their readers from consuming content which would hurt them, while allowing the creator the opportunity to explore and create in the medium they see fit. 

We are all humans trying to navigate a difficult time. We all have our ways to deal with these traumatic and painful happenings in our lives. We either talk about it with our peers who have the same experience, write to forge a path forward to some sort of healing in our own way- or we simply remove that reminder from our sphere of existence. 

We will do the best in our capacity, in this network to create a space for both the reader and the creator to do what is best for them, while following all legal statutes set forth by Tumblr and the laws of the US where it is based.

If there are any club members that have issues with any of the prompts - we ask that you please DM the admin staff off anon, so that we can get an accurate count of the individuals that take offense.

There will be no bashing, no repercussions, or public shaming. 

We want to make sure that the people in our network have a say in what happens within the club events. Just because we can see the story in the prompts, doesn’t mean everyone can. We would be happy to discuss the prompt or prompts in question, with examples or sources to assuage any fears that you have. 

For those who were hurt, disturbed, disappointed, or felt the negativity wrought by this? 

We again, humbly apologize that you have. We hope that we can move forward with the event and the growth of the club with your blessings and participation.

Sincerely, The Admin Team 

P.S. - Death threats, threats of any kind are not ok. We’re all adults here. If you disagree then your blog is the space to do it. Stay out of folks DMs with that bullshit because you disagree - that goes for anybody that has spoken out disagreeing with the club and anyone outside toward the members within the club. We have differing opinions they should be respected. No one should be victimized any further than already experienced. 

[calamity-bean]

oh miss calamity, my beautiful queen. i was wondering (if you haven’t already!) if you could write a meta about why yen wants her womb/a baby so bad? personally i think it’s because she “wants everything” and that ability is something she doesn’t have, not that she necessarily wants to be a mother, and she has lived so long and that’s something she hasn’t done yet? but i love your mind and would love to hear your perspective! thank you ☺️

Thanks for the ask! It’s an interesting topic, and a potentially very complicated one, I think, because Yennefer herself seems to me to have a lot of complicated and sometimes contradictory drives.

I should start by saying I haven’t read the books yet (*re-re-rechecks my place in the library’s request queue*) or played the games. While I gather that Yen’s infertility also features in the novels, I don’t know how their treatment of the topic compares to the show’s, so I’m coming at this purely in the context of the Netflix series. Apologies to book/game fans who undoubtedly have a more comprehensive understanding of her character than I do.

With that said, I agree with you that Yennefer’s desire to have a child is about more than just, y’know… having a child. Beyond motherhood per se, I think it reflects a more general sense of longing that she’s hoping to satisfy by achieving this one specific thing. I think part of it is indeed that it’s something she doesn’t have (and has been told she can’t have), not because a child would be a novelty but simply because Yen likes, in general, to demonstrate agency over her own life and choices; but on a deeper level, I wonder if what she’s really longing for — the core desire she’s trying to fulfill here — might be connection. A departure from the isolation that she has, to some extent, purposely imposed on herself, and a relationship that is based on loving and being loved as a person rather than as an object of beauty or provider of power.

I don’t fault Yen’s self-isolation, or her ambitious nature in general. When we meet Yen in 1.02, she is abused, unloved, poor, perceived as ugly — and utterly without control over her own circumstances, leaving her dependent on the very man who mistreats and then sells her. Is it any wonder that she wants so fiercely to be powerful, to be beautiful, “to be seen and adored with everyone watching” (episode 1.03)? I don’t think this comes down to vanity; I think it reflects a desire to not need to be dependent on anyone else ever again. Look at the way she rejects Istredd’s domestic fantasies about their future together; the way she rejects Tissaia “throwing her a lifeline” in 1.05; the way she rejects Geralt’s help with the djinn! “You heroic protector, noble dog, permitting my success so long as you command it yourself!” We often talk about wanting power like it’s a negative thing; it connotes greed, vanity, a destructive, immoral acquisitiveness. But Yen prizes power over herself and her surroundings because she knows too well what it is to be powerless. Everything she does, she wants to be able to do by herself.

And on the surface, she succeeds. She makes herself into the sort of person who stands apart from all others; who can get pretty much anything or anyone she wants and need depend on no one else in turn…

Yennefer, 1.07: “And it was fun to be wanted. The object of desire. After where I came from, I lapped it up. But they all loved the power that came with my position at court. Not my power.”

…But by 1.04, Yen’s found that — as is often the case in life — the things she thought would make her happy have not. Her work as a court mage is desperately unfulfilling, and I think Istredd had a point when he said that “no amount of power or beauty will ever make [her] feel worthy of either” (1.03), because Yen feels that the “love” her beauty and power earn her is shallow and misplaced — i.e., that “love” is not really for her. People love what she can give them … but what about her, as a person? Do they even see her as a person at all? Or do they see only the impressive persona she constructed in order to become who she thought she wanted to be?

And then Queen Kalis shoves a baby into her arms.

“To this baby, I am the whole world,” Kalis says (1.04), and despite Kalis’s own dissatisfaction with motherhood, I think Yen is struck by the idea of being so important to someone in such an all-encompassing way — not as a useful, desirable sorceress, but simply as an ordinary person in an ordinary familial relationship. Though she initially seems a little alarmed to be asked to hold a baby, her willingness to ultimately risk her life for the child contrasts sharply with Kalis’s willingness to sacrifice it for herself. For all her talk of how harsh the world is, Yen is not as callous as she might act. Tough, yes, and sometimes a tad cruel, but nowhere near heartless. I think of the way she interacts with the girls at Aretuza in 1.07 — how she teaches them and tries to warn them from making the same mistakes she feels she did — and I see in Yen someone who does want to care for someone other than herself.

There’s definitely a reactionary element at work here too. Yen knowingly gave up her womb in order to get the things she thought would fulfill her. They failed to live up to her expectations, so now she resents having been asked to pay that price. So to some extent, this is rebellion — a stubborn desire to spite Aretuza for demanding that price and to prove that she can, as you say, have everything. “They took my choice,” she tells Geralt in 1.06; “I want it back.” This definitely fits with her need for independence and control over her own life, but I think the desire for genuine connection — and to choose with whom she is connected — is still a big factor. I think this relates to why she’s so devastated to learn that Geralt may have bound them together magically through the djinn: in her eyes, the magic removes all of her agency from the equation, making her feel that this relationship she thought was based on choice and genuine connection, rather than in any kind of obligation or transaction, was “not because of anything real or true.” And when she warns the girls at Aretuza about infertility, isolation is the primary consequence she describes:

Yennefer, 1.07: “The ability to create life, real life? They take that from you. And then send you out so the only family, the only loyalty you have is to them.”

Yen is proudly self-sufficient — but feels isolated. She doesn’t want to need anyone — but she wants to be needed, and not merely in a way that means being admired as a useful object rather than truly seen as a person, nor in a way that requires her to compromise her own independence or personhood in order to suit the wishes of others. And like anyone, she wants to feel that her life has had a purpose, that she’s done something meaningful with her time. She once “believed that it would all be worth it” — that her work as a court mage would be her “legacy.” Would motherhood —  or, more broadly, family; or, more broadly still, meaningful personal connection — fulfill her the way magic has not?

…I don’t know.

It’s interesting — I’ve seen some posts on this aspect of Yennefer’s characterization, but much of what I’ve seen has come at it from an out-of-universe standpoint: i.e., “How do we, the audience, feel about the fact that this character was written with this motivation?” I think good points have been made about how centering a female character’s arc around motherhood plays into stale, gendered tropes, and about how Yen’s infertility (and other aspects of her arc) potentially reflect misogyny and ableism, etc. And I think those issues are worth discussing, though I’m not really going to get into them here, given that I’m clearly long-winded enough as it is.

But even from a purely in-universe perspective, there’s irony here, right, in that this whole theme is all still wrapped up in the idea of women as vessels: vessels of children, vessels of sexual desire, vessels of power. “And even when we’re told we’re special, as I was, as you would’ve been, we’re still just vessels for them to take and take until we’re empty and alone” (1.04). Yennefer resents her role in life and feels she’s only loved because she’s useful/desirable to others — yet Kalis, too, resents her own role and feels that it’s Yennefer who is looked at “for who you are, not for what you can give them.” Yen is not Kalis, and not every woman — not every person — wants or needs the same things … But in such a patriarchal setting, is a woman’s choice basically limited to what kind of vessel she wants to be perceived as, rather than whether she wants to be a vessel at all? And is the desire for a child merely another reflection of how much Yennefer craves external validation — to be seen and adored — despite how much she also wishes to be self-sufficient? Is the critical idea here not that Yen would be the child’s whole world (as Kalis put it), but the child would be Yennefer’s whole world — a meaningful vessel into which to pour her heart?

I don’t know! There’s a lot going on here thematically, and a lot going on in Yen’s motivations. All I can really say in conclusion is that I hope I made a lick of sense in trying to untangle it and that I haven’t completely missed the mark.

[takaraphoenix]

This may or may not be a touchy question (I guess it depends?), but how do you deal with hate with people who don't particularly like your work or the pairings you like? Because I've seen a fair amount of people stop creating content they want to make because of the backlash or hate they get simply for shipping something, so I do wonder... How do you do it? After all these years, how are you still standing, head held up high? – Much love! <3

I suppose a huge part in that is... personality? I mean, what type of person one is. Some people are very sensitive and negativity gets to them heavily.

Which, is ironic, because I am normally that type of person. I always overthink what other people may think of me and in real life I am easily deterred.

But something about the internet changes the dynamic for me.

If it’s in person? If someone looks me in the eye and criticizes the things I like? That has me fuming. But ain’t nothing more unpersonal than getting an anon and having this round fella with the sunglasses stare at you, or having a “guest” on AO3 comment something nasty.

Because they’re cowards. And the cowardice of the other party tells me that, so a certain degree, they themselves know they’re full of shit. Because if they were confident in what they’re saying, if they knew they were right with whatever they’re claiming, there’s no need to go anon. They could tell me “to my face” - as much as the internet allows that; by being logged in and starting a dialogue.

But someone who hides behind the grey round fella with the sunglasses to tell me I’m morally wrong? Makes me  genuinely laugh. Because if I were, you had no reason to hide.

(At this point, I’d like to add, since you’re on anon too, that there’s different reasons for going on anon. Sometimes, it’s shyness. But if you think yourself morally superior to someone and want to ring the bell of shame behind them, you can’t hide behind anonymity. That’s different.)

I just really can’t take people seriously who hide in the shadows of anonymity to scream at me about how wrong I am. You’d do that with confidence if you knew you were right. But they’re wrong and full of shit. Because they are.

There is no “right” or “wrong” about taste. A ship ain’t only valid for being morally upstanding, pure, canon, whatever. And a person ain’t inherently vile for shipping something that’s unleathy, or toxic, or whatever buzzword they throw around.

Which is another part. I just... absolutely can not take anyone seriously who throws buzzwords around wildly and with no foundation, because they lack any common sense.

Yeah, they’re brothers and it’s incest, what do I care, they’re also fictional characters, I ain’t telling two real life brothers to bang and get married, what’s wrong with the people who can’t tell fiction apart from reality. That’s just pitiful.

I’ve also seen the other side of that. I’ve seen antis ship the exact thing that they’re judging, insulting and harrassing other shippers for. From incest to abuse apologism to just plain toxic canon dynamics. All the things they find a justification to harrass others about, but they ship things of that kind themselves. But their ships are ““different”“ from the ones they hate.

It all boils down to taste and it boils down to a bunch of morons who can’t grasp the concept of “taste” and the fact that... you can like something without it being pure and you can dislike something without it being every shade of morally corrupt.

They bend over backward to find justifications for why the ships they dislike are inherently bad, while they also bend over backward to justify why the exact same things they judge other ships for are actually wholesome and pure in the ships they like.

And at that point, I just genuinely feel bad for those people and am terrified for them. Because I am fully aware of what I ship. I know every deprived nook and cranny of my ships. I know the exact level of toxicity of the canon dynamics. I’m just also aware that they’re fictional characters. But the moment you start reaching to justify why abuse isn’t technically abuse, that’s when it becomes worrisome. And that’s what they do, to justify their own ships.

Now, I’m not gonna lie, this isn’t an attitude I always had and it’s not something I just woke up with one day.

I’ve been in fandom for 15 years now. I’ve seen a lot and I’ve dealt with a lot. I’ve seen when shipwars were primarily reserved to the canon straight love triangles. I’ve seen it devolve into “your ship isn’t valid the gays are getting in the way of the CANON STRAIGHTS”. I’ve seen the number of canon gays grow in media and how it affected these ship wars, invalidating ships where a canon gay ship was split up. And now this shit-show of antis.

My attitude grew out of seeing and experiencing a lot. I was lucky to be “raised” in a safe fandom environment, where the fandom olds took us youngsters under their wings and guided us, taught us how to improve our writing, helped us establish connections in a community.

And that last part, that’s important. Important in dealing with hate. Maybe the most important part, really. You have to find your community. Don’t let yourself be sucked into a circle of hate. Find the people who love the same things as you - the same show, the same characters, the same ships. Form friendships, find that community of positivity.

Fandom is what you make it. Even when other people try to make it something else, try to turn it into a hateful, gross place filled with harrassment and fear and moral policing. Regardless of how hard they try; your fandom is up to you.

Find the people who bring the positivity, who will come into your fics and leave reviews of love and positivity. And weed out the bad. Block them. Block the antis in your fandom, avoid them. Sometimes, preemtively going into an anti tag and just going on a block-spree can be really helpful already. You can block anons on tumblr too! Granted, only their ID, but at one point they’re gonna run out of devices to post anon hate from.

That much to my personal attitude toward it. Now to the act of actually dealing with it.

Many adivse, rightfully so, to ignore it. AO3 allows you to delete comments. On tumlr, you can just delete an anon and not answer it. Especially when you’re the type who is affected by it, not engaging is the best solution.

Personally, I like arguing with people. Everyone who ever talked to me might have noticed that. I live for a good argument. And I’m really bad at letting something just stand. So I usually argue back. I do that, because I am very bad at keeping my mouth shut, but also because it brings me a certain amount of glee to mock their nonsense.

I do it here. I have my “Dear Anonymous Shithead” tag where I address anon bullshit and anon hate from FFNet and AO3 - because FFNet doesn’t let you answer to anons. And then I delete the original comments on my fics, because I don’t like shitstains on my fics.

I call that approach meeting them on your own terms. Because they think they are doing something grand somehow by publicly leaving their vile comments on your fics. Delete them, take their voice away. Put it somewhere else to argue their nonsense on your own terms, mock them if you want, it’s fun. Fight your battle, the way you want to fight it - and that does include just deleting them and not engaging at all; that’s not running away, that’s self-care.

Like I said, my attitude’s not always been like that. It got me before too. Way, way back - and I really do mean way back, it’s been surely over five years ago - there was a tumblr account on here that spent an unreasonable amount of time openly hating on me. It’s the reason I avoided getting a tumblr, because back then I was not in a mental state to openly engage with such a hateful place.

And it’s still a hateful place; all those anti communities here. People proudly proclaiming they’re antis in their biography. People taking screenshots of other tumblrs or artists to mock them and make fun of them. The thing that changed isn’t tumblr, it’s me. I waited to engage with this place until I was ready to engage with it. I got my tumblr account when I already had the attitude of scoffing at anon hate.

I do think that only getting actively involved in a website when you are ready for it is another important part. The thing you mention in your ask, the people who stopped creating because of anon hate. It breaks my heart, it absolutely does, and I hate losing creators to it, but I do think that if those creators made that judgment call for themselves and their own mental health because they knew they couldn’t handle the harrassment, then they did the right thing. Even if they themselves may hate it, because they want to create. But sometimes, taking a step back is the right thing to do. I do hope that they will find it in themselves to overcome this and come back stronger, but constant harrassment and bullying can have severe consequences on a person and removing yourself from that kind of environment can sometimes be a last resort that needs to be taken.

I’ll also admit that I’ve been calculating what fandom to interact with to what degree ever since I got a tumblr account and started to see just how deep the hatred goes. Some things I might have created for, but I saw just how nasty the antis in the fandom were and... it wasn’t worth the fight for me.

Percy Jackson and Shadowhunters are my loves. My ride-or-die fandoms. I can, and will, fight for them. No one will chase me out of these fandoms, regardless of what kinds of insults and bullshit they throw at me. I’ve been here years longer than most of these newbie antis and I will be here long after they moved on to other things.

New things that I don’t have attachment to, I will weight if my level of interest in the thing will be worth engaging with the fandom nonsense with. Sometimes, it’s not, sometimes I make the judgment call for myself to step a way from a thing.

I admit, that happend with Teen Wolf too. Back when I did my last rewatch and enthusiastically engaged with it on here on tumblr, live posting about my rewatch and it... showed me startling, ugly sides of this fandom that I hadn’t known before, back when all my engagement had been to read fics and to write that one fic I had. That rewatch could have dragged me back into the deep end - but the brand of hate I encountered here... genuinely got to me. It really messed with my head, a lot, I’ve never been threatened before, I’ve never been insulted and constantly harrassed to such a degree. It was the first time I ever turned off anon on here, it put me into a sense of dread for just coming online for a while. I didn’t expect that, neither that it’d happen nor the extend of it or that it’d get to me like this. I still love Sterek to bits and pieces, it’ll be one of those ships I will always be attached to, but that experience with the bad side of the fandom made me recoil from getting involved with Teen Wolf again.

But in the Percy Jackson fandom? I’ve stood here for ten years now. I’ve gotten shit thrown at me about pretty much anything. I’ve also created over five hundred works for this fandom. I have received love and excitement in comments. I have received fanarts. I have received fanfiction to my fics. I’ve gotten fics dedicated to me by people who liked my work and wanted to write something nice for me. I’ve met one of my best friends and I’ve met my girlfriend in this fandom. Sure, I’ve been called names and been mocked, but I also know what I have.

I know I’m a damn good writer. I may not have much self-esteem, but what little self-esteem I have is located here, in the very thing they think they can attack. The thing is, I have no insecurities in this. This is the one area where you can’t attack me. And on top of that, I have that community of amazing people who love the same things as I do. I have the support, the friends, the shared hype. What do I care about some pitiful little fool hiding behind anonymity to whine about how wrong and gross I am? Their opinion weights nothing compared to that of the people who leave me anon love, who leave me squealy and excited comments.

To sum it all up:

Someone who has to hide behind anonymity is aware they don’t have the moral high ground.

Their definition of the “moral high ground” is so pitiful that it makes me feel bad for them.

I know the difference between fiction and reality and I pity the fools who don’t.

Find a positive fandom space for yourself and claim it.

Either delete anon hate, or meet it on your own terms.

Sometimes, I don’t. Sometimes, I lose and the hate does get to me.

You need to make the judgment call for yourself, if you can mentally handle a situation or not, and do what is best for you.

[thattimdrakeguy]

Toxicity, gaslighting, hypocrisy, an overall just bad fandom folks on twitter.

I’m glad I’m not involved with twitter comic fandom cuz the amount of people trying  to make Tim look bad like throwing a fit cuz he’s under too much pressure or like-- not being a saint. While calling characters that constantly murder people or violate human rights “baby” is way too high.

Even just the minor lies are nutty, acting like the 90s edgy art style at the time shows Tim is twisted cuz he looks scary in it-- when it’s just dated art

But then-- complain when people say things out of context for other characters-- when the context doesn't make it better. I really can’t process those people. they confuse me.

Also one of them apparently said Tim being a rich white kid makes him a power fantasy? Which is superficial at best  when applied to Tim given when you read 90s Robin-- (Which I assume they’re complaining about, cuz he still lives away from Bruce then-- cuz otherwise Jason would technically count as a rich kid) Tim is just this dorky kid, who’s scared on  the inside, putting on a brave face and fighting crime and his insecurity problem. He’s not some masculine power fantasy, he’s a relateable kid, his wealth besides being able to spend money in his first mini was even portrayed negatively if any thing sometimes with his dad as having been away for a lot of his childhood and leaving Tim without proper social development and being pretty socially clueless to the point it‘s a problem he has no street smarts.

So pretty much just gaslighting and strawman arguments.

You’re racist if you don’t like Damian.

You hate poor people if you don’t like Jason.

You’re sexist if you don’t like Stephanie.

But I’m someone who still likes Jason a lot even if I don’t like any thing in the Red Hood era not done by Winnick (and even then there’s a scene in Lost Days  that creeps me out), and used to like Damian and Steph, I just stopped liking them because I just found myself realizing I don’t particularly like a lot of their writing.

At the same time as well, isn’t it just more reasonable that people don’t like them cuz of simple taste or their character actions?

Damian does kidnap people and violates people’s human rights currently, and did chemically paralyze and trigger Jon in their first meeting, as well as smacks him for freaking out later on that miniseries.

If you made Steph a dude, more people would be very likely to call Steph a sexual harasser for flirting with Tim past  what he’s comfortable with, even with the knowledge he has a girlfriend. Plus she has shown dangerous cynicism in nearly letting criminals die, and even tendencies found in emotional abusers given her gaslighting, ill-trust, and attempts to go behind Tim's back, and even throwing crap at him while refusing to talk as he’s trying to apologize for some thing he didn’t actually do.

Not even to say Tim is a saint, he’s shown to be insensitive, and condescending, but if you start with his origin and not Red Robin, in my experience it ‘s more likely you’ll read him as a socially oblivious boy scout-esque kid rather than an angsty jerk. Doesn’t make what he did not bad, but just more interesting, because if a character is a saint it‘s boring, and Tim's actual original character makes what he does less offending to people. He has gotten incredibly pissed off at his friends, but ... he’s a literal kid that has to lead other kids with super powers. It‘s bad that he threw fits, but it ‘s never done in a way that makes it feel like “Oh i must hate this character”. Damian is also a kid, but what he does is way more notably offending to some people. He has a bad backstory but it is fiction, people have different standards with specific actions depending on how they feel about it. It‘s not illogical to be fine with a socially oblivious kid being insensitive but not be fine with a character  that consistently does bad things even after they’re aware it‘s bad. 

(Heck, Tim even cheated on his girlfriend, but given how that whole storyline chunk was written, it‘s more out of character and an example of bad writing than anything else, given how Tim feels on the topic of cheating before and after, as well as how much he cared about Ari. It was inconsistent and even the writing breezes past reality with how Ari suddenly agrees to mutually break up. I don’t  believe the story actually treats it fully as cheating either, making it feel like they knew. So it feels more like bad writing than a thing to judge Tim on, because that‘s just something people use to criticize bad writing, quite commonly even with many shows or movies. I can still get why people don’t care. It‘s more of a writing complaint. Like Jason being a serial killer is. It‘s inconsistent, doesn't add up, and isn’t a good reflection of the character.)

If you are fine with it is some thing else, cuz that‘s a matter of tastes.

I actually started calling Tim “baby” cuz Damian fans called Damian baby-- which I find a bit more odd (sometimes honestly just worried given the crap he does in the images they say that to some of the time), cuz while I’m aware Damian is younger obviously, he’s only cute in pandering moments that‘d I’d actually deem ooc, using basic standards that it isn’t consistent with anything before and after, as well as not fitting who the character is or even built up properly if they even try. (Also cuz Aunt May called Peter and friends babies and  thought it was charming). My blog as well is about 90s Tim Drake as well, where’d he’d be a year off of the same age as Damian mainly, I may call him baby past that age, but that‘s just cuz it‘s s tuck in my head now. I really can’t picture calling RR Tim baby in fandom usage of the word (which is  the only way I use it) if that was the only way he’s ever been.

Like with characters I start from the beginning (besides Dick and Bruce cuz gosh that’d take forever) and judge what ‘s in-character from there and read, while noticing development as well as things they’ve done. i didn’t read Red Robin first, I read Robin first. I didn’t read Batgirl first I read her Robin appearances first. When I studied Jason I wen t with his post-crisis Robin run (I deem pre-crisis Jason a different character given so much is different the same way i do with the New 52 teen titans core four generally speaking besides comparing to pre-New 52 versions). When I went to study Damian for stuff I read his first appearances forward much the same. And at one point in time I liked all these characters, I judged them based off of reading them.

So I’m not someone with just a bias-- I’m aware some of my friends do, but I’m not my friends if that wasn’t obvious. I’m friends with some people that like vastly different things than me even.

All I can say in the end is that it bugs me that toxic people have convinced themselves they are some victim while spreading harassment, lies, and gaslighting, because other people just enjoy different things or read things differently.

A lot of these people bother me especially because they frame themselves or the character  they like as some victim they have to defend, and even target specific people over, when they themselves are the ones showing basic toxic behavior. they are the toxic ones yet believe they’re the victim-- cuz someone read a comic differently or didn’t like the same character as them.

That is nuts to me

I’ve even had to deal with similar people since I gotten called a racist for not liking Damian-- when I’ve even mentioned that I’ve liked Damian previously, and explained I simply didn’t like his comic or his writing enough to reasonably like him. Meaning I guess the action of not liking Damian-- in of itself-- is racist, which is gaslighting at best. I’m sure someone out there even hates Damian because they’re racist, but why treat everyone (or at least some notable chunk to be worth talking about) that doesn't like him as if they’re that person?

They’d rather believe that people that don’t like what they do must be terrible people of some kind rather than treat them as normal people.

They’ve even showed hypocritical behavior, by complaining of others not  giving context-- while doing the same thing to other characters.

As I said, I’m not on comic book twitter, I have not even interacted with these people. I’ve just seen it, and it‘s just so toxic to me. It‘s a bad thing to see over fiction.

[spooky-chapscher]

I want to talk about Steven’s comments in the latest HWYD. There are apparently quite a few posts cancelling him and I have seen many more fully supporting his comments. I don’t agree with either.

For context, here is the moment of discussion, which occurs at 53:22 in “Surviving a Boring Job” in response to a submitted question where the writer, Janette Shortlocker, wants to cut ties with a racist, homophobic friend but isn’t sure when or how to do so. Steven says the following:

“I have a lot of friends who are a little bit racist and a little bit homophobic and I’m still friends with them. And I’m not saying that I’m friends with them because of their values*, I just value them as people themselves and I try to keep them around and try to, you know, educate them with what I can, but it’s not something that… I don’t want to cut ties with everybody because of their belief system*, because, frankly, I have a different value system than Katie and Shane and Ryan.”

*In his apology (found on the podcast video’s comments section), Steven apologized for his word choice here. He writes, “Racism and homophobia are not values, belief systems, or ideals, they are simply hate and nothing more. Furthermore, there is no amount of intolerance that is okay when it comes to validating someone’s humanity and identity.”

I am not here to discuss the unfortunate word-choice, which I will generously frame as an unfortunate byproduct of this sort of off-the-cuff podcast format. Why he would associate the words “value” and “belief system” with bigotry I’ll get into in my main point.

 -

I’ll come out and say that I do not agree with the message of what Steven was trying to convey on the podcast. I will say, as a queer Latino, that if you know someone who has embraced racism/homophobia/etc… that person isn’t your friend. This person either rejected you or will reject you eventually based on some other thing they can hate. You can know them, you can have a history with them, you can want to help them, you can try to help them… but you are not “friends.”

I say this as someone who has fully dropped people from my life because of shit like this. Friends, mentors, family members. It might sound cruel, but after knowing someone endorses shit like this it leaves a sour aftertaste to every otherwise fond memory I have of them. Like, “wow, I thought things were great but it turns out that they were hurting other people and I had no idea.” That sort of shit really bothers me.

Note that these people I cut out “embraced” bigotry. I do have friends who have occasionally said some kinda prejudiced shit and I have said “whoa, what?” Sometimes it led to earnest discussions of race or class or religion. Sometimes it prompts them saying “oh shit, you’re right. I didn’t think that through. I guess I don’t know that much about it.” But, you know what, the prejudice goes away after this talk and doesn’t rear its head again. Because the prejudiced shit was something that was offhandedly said and normalized by society, not something my friend genuinely believed. And when your friends do this, confront it in (initial) good faith that they didn’t mean what they said. I mean, you probably made mistakes like this too, I know I have, and every time I feel like my friends have made me a better person by calling out some ignorance that I wasn’t even aware of.

But when you try to address prejudice and a bigoted person stands their ground or, even worse, tries to counter with “well, agree to disagree;” then I think that’s the time to start distancing yourself from this person. The “friend” in Shortlocker’s letter is this type of person, and I hope that Shortlocker is able to cut them out of their life as quickly and cleanly as possible. But that’s just my opinion.

Cutting people out can be a very difficult decision, especially if you’re younger and the person in question is a family member. For people of any age, it’s a difficult call to make when the bigoted friend holds some kind of position of power over you – be they a boss, a landlord, a mentor, a spiritual leader, or just someone who can make you miserable or put you in danger if you get on their bad side. All I can say is that you do not need to announce to someone that you’re done with them. You can become “busy” with a project or another friend who “needs help” and then steadily grow apart from this hateful-ass friend until they’re only a hateful-ass acquaintance. Please stay safe.

 -

Why I’m this way goes into where I think Steven’s coming from. Some people have commented that holding onto racist and homophobic friends is “unlike” Steven. I disagree. If anything, I think this is very on-brand for him, if only because I know quite a few religious Midwesterners and almost all of them are like this. I have seen my parents try to hold onto friends who once marched with them for civil rights but the friends ended up radicalized by racists after moving to small towns. I have seen friends try to maintain work friendships where my friends would have to remain closeted or risk losing their job. My parents and these friends? All quite religious. And none of the “friends” they tried to change ended up changing, which left the people I care about miserable and hurt.

There’s this sort of attempt to turn the other cheek, because that’s the righteous thing to do. It is what my parents and people like them genuinely believe. So no, they wouldn’t approach hatred with hostility or indignation, as I would, but instead approach it with the genuine belief that this “friend” is misguided and needs to be shown the light, an action which requires love and patience. Perhaps it’s because it’s how it was raised, but I think that’s a very noble approach, despite the obvious roots in evangelism. Part of me wants to believe that with enough time and love (and therapy) that someone can unlearn their own hatred. That’s a beautiful thing. There have been stories of a number of people who truly have turned their lives around after being helped by a friend… I just have yet to ever see this actually happen.

With this in mind, it makes sense to me why someone who believes this will find ways to rationalize keeping someone so hateful in their lives. On one hand, staying with this hateful person in order to help them is an act of charity, which is a good thing. On the other hand, staying with this hateful person might make them think that their behavior is appropriate, which is a bad thing. However, having healthy debates and discussions with someone with different beliefs than you and trying to find compromise and common ground is a good thing. It’s certainly easier on the conscience if, during these discussions, you think of your friend’s hatred as a “value” that you need to learn to see from their perspective in order to fully understand and confront properly. And when someone is so far into this line of thinking, it’s sometimes difficult for them to remember that there are people on the outside who are still being hurt by this person. It’s easy to forget, when trying to salvage a relationship, that ignoring the hurt of others is itself an act of cruelty.

 -

The root of this discussion is “why do people hate” and, basically, I think it’s because they have found some kind of community in their bigotry. Their family is like that or their friends are like that or their neighborhood is like that or their online circles are like that or their entertainers are like that. There are so many people telling them “everyone in the circle is good and everyone outside the circle is evil and untrustworthy and will hurt you.” Some people, like my parents and other religious Midwesterners, will think that the way to confront this is by repeatedly demonstrating that “no, there is nothing inherently wrong with the people outside the circle,” in hopes that their dissenting voice will overwhelm all the other insider voices.

My approach is that if you make the circle as small as possible then eventually they’ll have nobody to talk to and start rethinking the whole “outsiders bad” thing. I’ve gone back and checked on a few people I cut out. Some of them are still in their hate circle. Some of them have left the circle and started a new life and I’m proud of them and if we ever meet again I’d give them another chance. 

-

The heart of Steven’s sentiments come from a place of good intentions and reflect a philosophy that firmly believes that people want to better themselves morally. I do not share this philosophy and think that his approach minimizes and risks trivializing hateful actions. It puts far too much of an emphasis on making sure the bigoted person is comfortable and not enough emphasis on defending the targets of the bigot’s hatred.

Our aim should always be to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. 

I disagree with Steven’s approach and hope that he will do better in the future when discussing things like this. Hopefully he’ll take the time to consider how his actions impact those he means to defend.

-

(If you’re curious, my philosophy is that we all want to make each other happy the best way we know how. Self-betterment has only a minor role to play in all this. For some people happiness means helping others and telling jokes and making art and cooking and all that good stuff. For some people this “happiness” comes from keeping those closest to them inside their walled-off circle, firmly believing that the outside world would hurt them. These people far too often go out of their way to harm outsiders, be it through verbal abuse, physical violence, or systematic violence - leading to larger societal issues such as legalized discrimination, redlining, and corrupt law enforcement).

 -

(Oh, and regarding Shane and Katie’s lack of comment to this… at first I was let down and hoping that they just wanted to avoid a very long debate at the end of a podcast that was already approaching the hour mark. But, after giving it a little more thought, it would be kinda gross if Katie and Shane went out of their way to police how Steven handles his racist friends, what with them both being white. I understand their reluctance to speak up on this matter but still feel that there should have been a better way to deal with it… although I don’t know what that way is.)

[monkeydluffy19920]

Respond: Is Sanji a pervert?

In reference to/inspired by [x] @cruising-on-pirate-dreams

It’s always been an interesting topic to see how people interpret Sanji’s character, in general. Usually, if he is not liked in fandom, he is seen as a hardcore pervert who thinks nothing more than that and all the arguments are based on his will to peep women and his nose bleedings. Then, there are other thoughts, that consider that his ero- kappa side is partly an exaggerated gag made by Oda-sensei.

Ever since the beginning, it's been fun to ponder the reasons behind the characters’ behavior and Sanji is not an exception. Actually, he was one of the characters I didn’t completely like in the beginning, because back then, during the elementary school, it was hard to understand why would someone fall in love with (almost) every lady they meet. Then slowly his characteristic started to open more to my blind eyes and the more I saw the soft side of Sanji and how much he puts effort on his friends, the more reasonable it was to see why he is so popular among fans. It seems like the hate he gets is mostly because people pay attention to his lust-side and examine it only from one point of view.

There was a very interesting analyze written by @cruising-on-pirate-dreams about Sanji’s personality and tendency to be called pervert. In comparison, the fellow fan used Absalom and there were good points to be lifted up:

Absalom without a shame used his devil fruit skills to lurk on both Nami and Robin and never gave a rat’s eye whether Nami or Robin liked his forceful style to approach them. Both of them were clear objects to him that he licked and touched without permission, he even said openly that he likes Nami more because she is weaker in his eyes and later he kidnapped her and made her unconscious so he could marry her by force.

Sanji has a tendency to put himself into the submissive position, especially when it comes down to interacting with women. Yes, of course, he has this “I need lady~!”-kind of side but it’s remarkable how the more familiar/closer the woman is, the more submissive he actually is, in other words, he never puts himself above the ladies, especially when it comes down to interacting with Nami and Robin.

Before the Whole Cake Island arc was published, I’ve written in Reasons to love Mugiwaras - Sanji - post that I actually do believe that despite the reputation and what he gives out of himself in public (being tough and ladies man), deep inside he is actually very broken and vulnerable and once more of his past was revealed after the time skip, the more sense all the headcanons and speculations started to become logical.

The flashbacks in the Baratie arc showed that he was on edge of dying after the shipwreck which gave a little pieces of information about him but after the Germa66 and Sanji’s links into it were revealed, it was even more clear that he indeed had a terrible and traumatic childhood and suffered from great amounts neglection and abuse by his biological family until he escaped. The new supplement/update of the background story finally gave a further and more detailed explanation of why Sanji doesn’t see self-worth in himself and always puts others in front of him. He has put himself under the target line for his nakamas many times without caring how his own life and his dreams of finding All Blue would be thrown into waste if the worst-case scenario happened.

Thankfully, there was someone from the family standing by his side and therefore Sanji grew very close to his mother. Unfortunately, she passed away early due to the illness (that actually protected Sanji to become an emotionless killing machine like his brothers) and then he was again left all alone in his personal hell.  Sora’s death might’ve left a certain gap in his heart. Perhaps the reason he treats women kindly (especially the ones he really adores) has roots in Sora’s way to support Sanji and maybe inside his core, he decided to continue sharing her mother’s legacy of kindness. He might appear like a tough guy who swears like a sailor but only the fact that he has saved an enemy from starvation tells that Sanji truly has a heart of gold, just like Sora.

It’s highly likely that behind the scenes and below the surface,  Sanji could be actually looking for similar acceptance and unconditional love he got from his mother. But why then do all that ero-kappa stuff and womanizing when being around women? Mainly I still believe that it’s a continuous character gag just like Zoro’s poor sense of direction or Nami’s greediness but somehow it feels that there might be logical reasons behind this behavior.

Of course, it’s easy to interpret and only think that he is just a lustful pervert from the fact that his locker is full of girl magazines and that especially during the crew’s reunion after the time skip when it felt like Sanji couldn’t control himself with his nose bleedings.

However, if one takes a look to past 20 years One Piece has existed, it’s remarkable to see how much Sanji actually does pay respect to women, especially towards his crewmates. He doesn’t only give compliments on their appearance (i.e how cute they look) or use polite suffixes (”chan” and “san”) while communicating with them, he also praises openly and sincerely their skills and how strong they are. So, it’s obvious that Sanji definitely sees more than just their bodies.

Then to body swap, what @cruising-on-pirate-dreams wrote as well in another post. It’s easy to be seen that Sanji was happy that Law happened to swap his and Nami’s bodies and yes, he took peeks and adored the body features. However, because of this ero kappa-gag, one perspective is easily being left out of the spotlights (if readers didn’t pay enough attention): He did take good care of Nami’s body and he was aware how his actions can affect on her body and reflected on them many times. He smoked in her body but felt bad for doing that. Now it could be easily argued: “If he cares about Nami, why did he smoke in the first place?” but the answer is simple, he is a chain smoker and besides, Nami herself did give him the permission and the cigarettes in Punk Hazard.

Well, despite Nami’s warnings, he did take her jacket away when she wasn’t looking but he had a good reason (Kinemon’s torso was underwater and he happened to be the best swimmer out of the options) and besides, he apologized, just like he apologized for harming her lungs with his cigarettes. He also kept constantly worrying whether the diving would be too much for Nami’s body under the circumstances.

So, if Sanji really does only see Nami as a sexual object he wouldn't have feel an urge to apologize for things he did when their bodies were swapped. If she’d only matter to him for lustful reasons and for good looks, he could have taken the advantange on her by taking everything away and do more exploring (if he was alone) but he didn’t because obviously, they were busy solving the mess Caesar made but mostly, (putting aside the comedy-reasons) he knows that going further would have been way too disrespectful and would have violated their nakamaship (and would be against the fact that he has protected her purity back in Thriller Bark and tried to avoid to stain her) especially if he later got caught somehow and it would anyway make no sense if he wanted to hurt her in any way intentionally. 

So, at least for me especially Punk Hazard was an arc that proved that despite the comedy, Robin and Nami are clearly not objects for Sanji and although he surely has felt some lust towards them, he respects the boundaries treats them well and speaks with much softer tones to them and even uses certain suffixes while addressing them. 

Someone asked the reasons behind the suffixes and whether there are any deeper meanings  Oda’s response was that he was basically inspired by his older staff members who wanted to be treated as they were younger. Zeff taught Sanji chivalry and perhaps this detail of the story was really based on Oda’s real life.

Back to the previous topic, why is Sanji portrayed as a pervert? Well, mainly for sure to make balance with comics on heavy storylines and because being interest in opposite-sex openly seems to be part of who he is but then thinking below the surface, what if those wild nosebleeds and dreams about peeping women are all actually just a mask of him? Yes, he does have a crush easily on women he meets and flirts with them but what if there is more than that?

Actually, one of the headcanons I’ve had for years is that Sanji has experienced a traumatic loss that has given him the deep fear of losing the others he holds dear (and that’s why he'd be so sacrificial) and Whole Cake Island sort of supported that thought. It can be possible that because he was strongly bullied by his siblings and despised by his own father (being called a weakling and so on), this all has stained his self-confidence below zero for good and it still will take time to see that he is worthy. Hopefully, Luffy’s words back in Baratie and the retrieval team’s efforts and experiencing his lowest point before the tea party opened his eyes for good and gave his character the chance to grow.  

Like many fans agree, the only place where Sanji has complete confidence is anywhere that is related on his profession, cooking because Zeff convinced that the “chibi-Nasu” really does have potential in becoming a chef, otherwise, he can be surprisingly insecure although he doesn’t show it up openly, perhaps he hides it with this kind of actions.  On top of that, Zeff raised Sanji to respect women so if he really was a pervert and didn’t care about what his foster father taught, then perhaps he would act more like Absalom. However, (again setting the comical aspects aside), I think Sanji himself knows where to cross the line when it really comes down to women. Most likely Zeff wouldn’t approve if Sanji really thought that women are just objects of lust and Sanji probably doesn’t want to disappoint (even unconsciously) someone who saved him from certain death and raised him as his own child. 

Only Oda-sensei knows completely his character and knows the answers but Sanji’s behavior makes me wonder that what if actually at some point he has created kind of an “alter ego” to protect himself? What if he built himself a personality full of confidence so no one would see that deep inside, there is a fragile boy and a wounded man? Well, this is all just speculation so it’s hard to say whether there is any truth behind these thoughts or not but shortly said, Sanji is a great character and there are definitely reasonable reasons for his behavior, in general. However, he indeed is stuck in these ero kappa- gag and it’s sometimes a shame indeed that some (potentially shippy) moments are ruined by those weird faces or when he goes too lustful but on the other hand, it might be just Oda’s way to keep the series’ focus on the main points instead of romance

It’s really hard to believe that Sanji would actually be a pervert as in the term is officially described but once again, it’s all about interpretation. However, if one takes a closer look to the comparison between Sanji’s and Absalom’s interest in Nami (and other women) and comparing it to the facts of what perversion is in terms of human behavior,  it can be easy to tell that out of these two, Absalom is the true pervert.