#I’m sorry. I sympathise with you but there was something you could have done

[proudfreakmetarusonniku]

like, genuinely. taking accountability for your actions in perpetuation of abuse and rape culture is the first step to changing that culture. it doesn’t make you a bad person just because you did a bad thing (unless you were intentionally trying to cause harm) but you have to admit you are not immune to accidentally supporting the bad thing and take accountability for that. if you supported george's statements on sexual harassment, or dream's sexual jokes towards minors, or sapnap getting paid money to stream on a platform which openly harbours rapists and sex abusers, you've been a part of keeping the environment that makes it hard for victims to have come out. if you started believing in anti-victim sentiments and harassed other abuse victims for talking about how it made them uncomfortable, you’ve supported this environment. if you assumed anyone uncomfortable with your streamer or trying to talk out against them was inherently lying solely because it was your streamer, you helped support an enviroment that fostered abusers.

and that sounds harsh, and I’m sorry. but it’s true. and to a degree, I think everyone in this community has done that with people at one point in their lives. it's very easy to be manipulated, but it’s also very easy to be wilfully blind, and that’s not something irredeemable or a permanent stain. you can change, but you need to identify in yourself what caused you to act like that and make a conscious change. it’s healthier for you and it’s healthier for the environment. if we want to avoid this in the future, we need to be proactive in calling out actual potentially harmful behaviour, even if it’s from someone you like. or we will continue to harbour mass amount of abusers.

most content creators are not abusers. most, to be honest, are awkward introverted nerds with social anxiety. at least, that’s what i've got from the ones my brother knows (and that includes some big ccs). but while they’re a huge part of it bc being in front of a camera instead of people is a huge draw, there’s another draw that attracts a less savoury crowd- and that’s the position of power. and unless you’re willing to listen and be kind to genuine, serious criticism of harmful actions, and ccs are willing to do the same, abuse and sexual assault WILL continue to be normalised in these spaces. it is not your sole responsibility, but it IS a responsibility to make sure to avoid that now you know the possibilities aggressively attacking any criticism can hide. caiti had to deal with people with her abusers face threaten her for speaking negatively towards him. do not let that happen again.

[starryylies]

Hi !!! Idk if you've done this already but can you do my angel boy Gaz and Ghost with a girl who love scary movies ??? I feel like they'd totally have the mentality of "I gotta comfort her when she's scared" but Gaz specifically flinches and I think Si would like "brace" if that makes sense like wincing his eyes. I dunno if you've done something like that but your emo story reminded me of me and it made me so happy I'm a metalhead and I was gonna ask for more but it was already in there and that just mad emy day ilysm already okay bye -🫀

Simon n Gaz watching a horror movie with s/o

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Again so sorry (I’m sorry for saying sorry sm) but like Omg I love this cuz I love horror smmmm!!! Insidious,suspiria,Bwp, conjuring you name it I love them omgggg.

So thank you so much for the awesome ask and I hope you enjoy it 🩷🩷🩷

Also I used the movies sinister and lights out for the references :))

SIMON-

♰ he thought watching the movie sinister will be fun cuz he thought he could protect you from the jumpscares

♰ he needs to be protected from the damn movie tho (okay this movie is fucked up tho and it’s totally normal to be scared)

♰in the beginning he thought it will be some poorly made movie with shit ass jumpscares but boy was he wrong

♰ when the scene of the family hanging themselves comes on he was taken aback and he lets out an audible wince shutting his eyes

♰ he genuinely finds the movie scary and gory, cannot help but find himself wince and shut his eyes whenever he thinks there will be a jumpscare

♰ as the movie progressed and the other tapes were revealed he just couldn’t take it anymore, his limit broke off when the mowing scene came

♰ but you seemed to be enjoying the movie, anticipating what the next scene will reveal

♰ he shut the tv before he could see further, it was too much for him

♰ “fuckin hell love this movie is a fuckin nightmare” he groans

♰ “noo It’s a well made film :( plus I enjoy a good scare ya know”

♰ god how could you be so chill with it, he can’t tell if he should admire you or keep his distance

♰dw he admires you :)

♰ keeps on ranting about how he’d never do such a stupid fucking thing

♰ says Ellison was a stupid fuckin idiot for getting his family there and curses him for the rest of the day

♰ asks you your opinion on the movie and who you think is recording the tapes

♰ ends up going on the net to see how the movie ends cuz he can’t let it go

♰when he finds out the ending he has an ‘aha’ moment.

♰ tries watching the movie again but ends up stopping in the beginning itself cuz he can’t handle it.

♰ probably doesn’t want kids after this movie

GAZ-

♰ Awh this poor guy just wanted to watch a scary movie with you to hold you when you’re scared but it kinda ends up being the opposite

♰ you both decide on watching lights out (I wanted to pick hereditary or mother but too much cuz I’m writing this at 3am)

♰ see lights out is a Pretty chill film but Diana is creepy as hell and sadly gaz became a victim to Diana’s jumpscares

♰ when she killed the dad gaz visibly flinched like on the edge of the sofa hoping the dad would survive

♰ but boom the bitch killed him :/

♰ felt really bad for the brother (Martin)

♰sympathised with him a lot by saying he’s a good kid and that he’s really strong.

♰ surprised on how you’re not getting scared or anything

♰ thinks that you have watched this film before

♰ gaz got shit scared during the scene where Rebecca and her boyfriend came and Diana creeped around them

♰ the end made him tear up just a lil :(

♰ you ended up comforting him holding him close cuz he felt bad about their mom

♰ thinks it’s adorable how you give lil facts about the movie from time to time though.

♰ cursed Diana for the rest of the day,

♰ if you take any medications, don’t worry you’ll never miss them now cuz gaz will make sure you eat yours on time

♰ keeps the bathroom and living room lights on that night

♰ will search for movies like lights out

♰ will never watch them though

♰ is proud that he got closer to you tho

♰ will definitely hold you the entirety of the movie

♰ will never have a horror movie date again tho

♰ but will watch a horror movie with you if you ask him cuz how can he say no to you :))

[themultifandomgal]

Hey you! I just read that you take requests for peaky blinders and I’m wondering if you could maybe write something for John x reader? Like from s1 when he calls for a family meeting, that he wants to marry Lizzie. But reader is there maybe she works with Grace at the bar and has known John since they were young. She was in love with him but he married Martha, reader helped with their kids and her births and when his wife died she stayed around to help John. But he never thought she looked at him like anything more than a brother. But Polly knew and Tommy too, so when John asks them about Lizzie in front of you. They all tell him he’s blind to not see how reader loves him and his kids. She is really sad cause she thinks he’s going through with the wedding to Lizzie but when he gets home that night and she’s watching the kids he finally talks to her and asks her how she really feels. Like he would see her in such a loving way he couldn’t even consider she’d ever want a man like him. A real cute ending would be lovely

John Shelby- Tell Me The Truth Pt1

I just realised writing this how similar to my last request this one is so this time I’ve used actual dialogue from the season 1. Might make this one into a little series. Hope you enjoy.

Also trigger warnings- swearing, talking about vomit, violence, the usual peaky blinders stuff.

“Oh for fucks sake” YN groans as a man vomits at the bar “I gotta clean that up now, fucking twat go ‘ome to ya wife”

“Why d’ya think I’m ‘ere love” the chap wipes the vomit from his mouth making YN shudder a little. Rolling her eyes YN goes to get her mop and bucket while she leaves Freddie and Tommy to talk, although knowing it may end up in someone getting hurt

“Hi YN” Finn, the youngest Shelby sibling says smiling at her

“Hey Finn, why aren’t ya at school” the boy shrugs his shoulders

“Borin’”

“It may be borin’ but do ya wanna end up like ya brothers? an alcoholic, an other a deceiver, another married at 17 because he fucked some poor girl. Get yourself some juice then head back to school”

“Fine” the boy whines but does as he’s told, well kind off. YN doesn’t need to know that he’s took the juice and headed off home.

Walking back to the bar with a mop and bucket and some other cleaning supplies, she now sees Tommy and Freddie holding Danny up. Glass and chairs thrown everywhere

“Oh hell did I do it again?” he asks

“You did it again Danny”

“Miss YN I’m so sorry” Danny cries

“It’s ok Danny” YN says sympathising with him. She knows better than anyone how the war has changed so many people and families. She worked as a nurse to help the injured soldiers. Combat Fatigue, or shell shock is what they called it when men would return home, but they weren’t themselves. Unfortunately Danny, once a sweet caring man, now has moments where he forgets where he is. Just a noise could set him off. Knowing this YN knows that she shouldn’t be harsh on him. It’s not his fault

“Mr Shelby you have to do something about him”

“Damn right Harry. You pay the peaky blinders a lot of money for protection. Your the law around here now, aren’t ya Tommy?” Freddie say as Tommy takes a swig of whiskey

“And what would you suggest? Hm? Putting a bullet through his head? Kill an innocent man? Thought you would have done enough of that during the war”

“YN back to work” Harry says pointing at the girl

“Sorry ‘man’s business’ right? that’s a load of fucking bollocks and you know that”

“Harry get YN to drop the bill off at the betting shop. We’ll take care of this” Tommy says putting his cap back on and walking out of the bar

“I don’t know why you’re still involved with that lot” Harry mutters grabbing a broom. YN shrugs

“Grew up with John boy didn’t I. They’re family”

“Yet the man you love married another. I’d leave them before they break you” with that Harry gets to sweeping the floor. What Harry said hurt YN, not the part about them breaking her, no. They wouldn’t do that, the Shelby’s all treat YN as family. The part that hurt YN was that John married Martha, YN’s best friend. Tommy always said it was only because he got her pregnant and wanted to do the right thing, but YN always wondered if he hadn’t of got Martha pregnant would he have ever married her? Would’ve he and YN had a chance? Well it’s to late now. John married Martha and now is a widower with 4 children who YN had help Polly deliver.

Later that evening YN walks home, having to pass Johns house where she can hear the chaos that is bath and bed time. Going against her better judgement, YN finds her feet making their way to Johns house and knocking on the door. A disheveled John answers the door

“Oh thank god your here. I don’t know how Martha did this everyday” sighing YN gives him a weak smile entering his house

“Just get a glass of whiskey for me for when we’re done”

[moonlightdancer26]

(tw bullying) I say this as the ardent Remus fan who posted a whole rant about how Remus didn't deserve to loose his job in your inbox: Snape does have the right to hate Remus, best friend of his bullies, who stood by and let those things happen. As much sympathy as I feel for Remus (I very much doubt that he felt he could say anything without Sirius telling his secret again) Snape isn't going to know that.

Hey, it’s you again! (You sent this not long after you sent me the first ask, but I’ve only just now noticed this one, sorry lol.) I agree with you, despite not approving of Remus being a bystander, I’m still able to sympathise with him and understand where he might be coming from, but people shouldn’t blame Snape for not doing the same. He had no idea what Remus went through and thought Remus simply didn’t bother to put an end to it. He had no reason to “try and understand where he’s coming from!! >:(”, especially given that Remus didn’t even do the same to him. It’s kinda like when teachers or admins try to tell victims of bullying that their bullies “might be going through something” and that they should “try and understand them,” it’s annoying as hell and honestly feels so patronising. Like.. the victim is the one suffering at the hands of their bullies, why should you tell them to go out of their way and sympathise with their bully when said bully has done nothing but make their lives shitty and has not even done the same for them??

[blu-joons]

When You Take Your Child To Visit Him At The Studio ~ NCT Dream Reaction

Mark:

His eyes were bright as Mark walked behind your daughter, watching her pick up the microphone and turn it in her hands, taking it all in.

After a few moments, she turned back to face Mark behind her. “Daddy, what does this do?” She asked it, tapping it in her hand.

“That’s a microphone,” Mark explained, kneeling down to her level, “that’s what daddy uses when he sings so that everyone can hear him.”

“Can I try it?” She excitedly asked him.

Mark looked back to the boys who were sat beside the speaker, unaware of what was going on. “Of course, let’s just turn this on and you can go.”

“Alright,” she chuckled, waiting for Mark to turn it on before singing, her voice booming suddenly through the speaker next to the boys.

“What the hell?” They questioned, jumping at the sudden loud noise that came from right by their sides.

“Oops,” Mark sniggered, “Y/N must’ve gotten a hold of the mic all by herself.”

“We’ll get you back for this.”

Renjun:

His eyes snapped around as soon as Renjun heard the boys mentioning his name, desperately trying to figure out what it was that they were saying.

His head shook as they realised that they were listening, “you’re doing a good job of getting Y/S/N to listen to you,” Donghyuck teased.

“Stop enjoying this,” Renjun sighed back across at the two of them, “one of you could come and help me so that we can actually work today.”

���It’s too much fun watching,” Jisung laughed in reply.

A sigh came from Renjun as your son continued to do what he wanted, exploring the studio. “Y/S/N, please just sit still for daddy for ten minutes.”

“You sound so desperate,” Jeno chuckled as the boys continued to listen, “maybe you should channel Y/N, Y/S/N listens to him.”

“Thank you,” Renjun groaned, “I didn’t need a reminder about the fact my son listens to Y/N and not to me.”

“You’re the one who wants to work,” Jeno smirked, “that’s how you’ll do it.”

“No mention of this to Y/N.”

Jeno:

A sigh came from several of the boys as once again Jeno stepped out of the formation, running across to your daughter and scooping her up.

Her eyes looked around in disappointment as Jeno grabbed onto her, “you can’t go exploring around there sweetheart.”

“It looks fun though daddy,” she protested, frowning as Jeno placed her back where he had left her on the other side of the studio.

“It’s not fun for you,” Jeno smiled back at her.

As the boys watched the two of them, they met each other’s eyes. “Maybe we should call it a day for today, we’re not going to get much work done today.”

“I’m sorry,” Jeno told them all, but their heads shook, as much as they tried to deny it, having your daughter there was something they loved too.

“We’ll have more fun messing around with Y/N anyway,” Chenle assured him, “this routine is just ridiculous.”

“A break will do us good,” Jaemin added, “especially a break with Y/D/N too.”

“Thank you, I appreciate the help.”

Haechan:

Puzzled expressions looked across at the studio door as Donghyuck walked in, holding onto your son’s hand with a shy smile on his face too.

None of the boys knew what to say as Donghyuck looked around, “Y/N got called into work, so how does babysitting sound?”

“Don’t you have families to be able to look after her?” Chenle joked as your son ran away from Donghyuck and started greeting each of the boys.

“They’re all busy,” Donghyuck explained to them.

Jeno nodded as he grabbed a couple of things from the cupboard, “I’m sure between the seven of us we can care for Y/S/N and get some work done too.”

“Y/N will pay for this, don’t worry,” Donghyuck teased, “I’ve already told her that she owes me dinner for making me do this when we’re so busy.”

“It can’t be helped,” Jaemin sympathised, “maybe having Y/S/N here will help us to be more productive than usual.”

“Are you insane?” Donghyuck asked him, “more productive with a toddler around?”

“Who knows, maybe it’ll work.”

Jaemin:

A frown formed on Jaemin’s face as he looked across at your daughter only to see her staring into the distance, watching something other than Jaemin.

As the boys noticed him staring, Jisung walked up to his side. “It seems you’re not as entertaining as you think you are.”

“My own child doesn’t even want to pay attention to me,” Jaemin sulked, making the rest of the boys chuckle, “how can I entertain anyone else.”

“Hey, Y/D/N!” Donghyuk called out across to her.

Straight away she looked around, giggling away to herself. “Watch daddy,” Jaemin told her, pointing at himself, “you have to watch daddy when he dances.”

“We’re not dealing with him when he gets pouty because you’re not watching,” Renjun added, not that she knew what he was saying.

“Shall we try again?” Mark suggested, “and this time we could maybe try and keep Y/D/N’s attention at the same time.”

“Why did I bring her here?” Jaemin quizzed, “she’s not the slightest bit interested.”

“You’ve just got to do better Jae.”

Chenle:

As another coo came from your son as he watched the boys rehearse, applause came from the boys, reacting to everything that your son reacted to with him.

After a couple of steps, another giggle of fascinating came from him. “Does daddy look cool?” Chenle asked, smiling at your son.

“Cool,” your son replied, clapping his hands together as the music came to an end, crawling across the studio and grabbing straight onto Chenle’s leg.

“He’s our biggest fan,” Mark grinned, poking your son’s side.

Several of the boys nodded in agreement with Mark, “he reacts us to more than most people do, maybe we should employ Y/S/N to hype up our crowds.”

“You are not hiring my son to do anything,” Chenle laughed in response to Mark’s suggestion, “mainly because if you did, Y/N would kill me.”

“Maybe we should record him and show people how it’s done?” Jeno proposed, “get them to applaud like Y/S/N.”

“Our cheer guides,” Jeno grinned, “Y/S/N could do them from now on.”

“You’re still not hiring my son.”

Jisung:

As soon as Jisung walked into the studio he was shushing everyone, the boys were as noisy as ever, that was until Jisung quickly managed to get all of their attention.

They fell silent as soon as they turned around, watching Jisung walk in pushing a pram. “I’ve only just managed to get her to sleep.”

“You brought Y/N,” Renjun grinned, racing over and peering inside the pram to take a look at your daughter, “we weren’t expecting to see you with her today.”

“I thought I’d bring her to meet everyone,” Jisung smiled.

It didn’t take long for the rest of the boys to all huddle around the pram as well. “I can’t believe Y/N let you bring her out all by yourself, she’s not here, is she?”

“It took a lot of convincing,” Jisung chuckled, “but she knew that bringing her to the studio would mean she’d have six other people looking after her too.”

“Of course,” Donghyuck quickly agreed, “no other kid is as lucky as Y/D/N to have the six of us as uncles you know.”

“Lucky?” Jisung teased, “you think she’s lucky to have you guys looking after her?”

“We’ll prove you wrong Jisung.”

---

Masterlist

[onyourhyuck]

𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐊ᵃ𝐫𝐦𝐚. | 𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐨.| (M) | PT 4.

synopsis; park areum is a small journalist who gets mistaken for a sex worker one day. she gets kidnapped and then given to lee jeno, an infamous mafia for creating war and havoc.

warnings; lower caps intended!!, this is part 4/20, action, fighting scenes, short love triangle, mafia romance, cursing/mature language, jeno falls in love hard, !jealous mafia jeno, enemies to lovers, smut!!, makeout scenes, gripping, degrading, praising, jeno is a bit of a dick but we been knew. park areum is a bad bitch <3.

Previous Chapter 3 link! Masterlist for “His Karma”

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it has been a few weeks living under the mafia’s noses. areum constantly does the same routine, wake jeno with breakfast and schedule, walk around the entire mansion and then do his laundry. afterwards areum can do whatever she wants, but she can’t leave the damn place.

areum let’s out a string of cuss words to the clean laundry, moving hands to fold them neatly and then put it on the stand behind her with the stack of clothing.

when areum was forced to live here she did not sign up to be a maid for jeno!

haechan and renjun cross the room with areum, only haechan walking backwards preaching in. he laughs at the sight of the girl doing laundry. “oh my god if it isn’t jeno’s house wife doing her husband’s clothes.”

renjun follows haechan in glaring at the boy, seemingly not having time to tease you. areum shows haechan the middle finger, “go fuck yourself haechan. your fault i’m in this mess.”

hyuck was about to say something back but renjun quickly grips him by the ear dragging the nosey boy out. “sorry for bothering you areum, let’s go dumbass.”

watching the guys leave in a rush, areum couldn’t help but wonder what else she can do to contain the apathetic boredom, only the longing to see jisung and go to work journaling every secret, mystery, case and people— only if areum could have those options. she signs in the open with thoughts clouding the mind, to the point jaemin is now in the same room as her without areum noticing.

he softly speaks out, “why the long face areum?” he saw her eyes shift back into reality, areum’s eyes lighting up. “oh jaemin,”

he hums, glancing around the laundry she has to fold. areum leans against the wall, annoyed. especially by haechan’s comments. “i don’t want to do house work, it’s not my thing. maybe let me help with missions?”

he understood where she was coming from. jaemin almost felt bad for the girl but he would prefer if she were in the mansion. not because he thinks areum will snitch on them, she would’ve done it a while ago if that were the case. jaemin just doesn’t want to see areum hurt. if he knew the girl was at missions, jaemin might have to drag her ass back to the mansion.

jaemin’s hands lovingly start to pet the side of areum’s head. he grins in appreciation for a bit, sympathising with her. however his question caught areum in a prance. “will you kill someone then?”

silence came from her, it was loud enough that jaemin understood why she was quiet. it was because areum does not want to take a life. he sighs out, moving hands off areum’s head. “you need to be prepared to kill no matter what. it is either kill or be killed.”

he turns to areum fully facing her now. “continue doing what you are, areum. you’re being a huge help, i promise you.” he heads out of the door, areum watching the empty room.

“i’m sorry jaemin, i can’t.” she murmurs. if areum were to fold another piece of clothing she might lose sanity.

areum has a clean plan. she will wait for jeno to return from the missions, then entering his room she will simply ask him.

areum checks clock, hand resting on the 12. it was midnight, perfect time to speak to jeno. or so she thought.

the girl opens the door swinging, “jen—” two naked figures were crossed on the bed, jeno darkly sits up when the young woman with blonde hair ran out, pushing areum aside to get out. he sighs into disbelief, seemingly everything goes downhill when areum is around him.

almost like karma.

areum clears her throat, “Uhm, i’ll just— speak to you in the mornin-” upon stumbling words the moment the girl was to walk out of the room, jeno brought areum against the wall, he wore the robe but very loosely, with tight grip on the arm. she yelps in shock and jeno jeers down at the girl.

“better start explaining now because my patience is walking on thin ice, park areum.” he said, while using her full name— he must truly be pissed. areum gulps looking away, murmuring.

“i don’t want to be your house wife, give me another work.” he would let go off her hand, groaning. “is this really the reason why you interrupted my moment with the girl i bought?” jeno spat.

“yes why else would i be running in your room this late?” areum scoffs, watching the man in the fancy expensive robe, hair slicked back as he was looking out of the window. he smirks. “what work do you want then? be specific because i won’t pick for you.”

she trails very slowly, “m…missions?”

jeno’s eyes that were glued on the windows immediately avert back to the woman, the expression he had was of shock. areum swore she was sweating out of fear, jeno approaches areum slowly, the robe flowing behind almost magically.

areum looks down on the feet resting on the carpet flooring, somehow feeling as if she was falling from unbelievable high place about to die. jeno’s voice in tone darkens, “look at me.”

she winces, gosh why does he have to be so mean and dramatic about it? areum would hesitatingly look, but jeno was on impatient so his hand gripped areum’s face tightly.

hand grabbing her face and jaw in one, forcing areum to be looking right at him clearly. eyes weren’t allowed to move either, because the dark dangerous brown iris were glaring into hers. “you? missions? areum, i don’t think you understand why you are here. you. are. my. hostage.”

areum whined at the pain inflicted from the grab. “i don’t want to be your house wife.” jeno shakes his head letting go off areum’s face. “have you ever killed? do you even know how to defend yourself? you’ll die and that’s not something i have a problem with.”

his words were cruelly spoken, like a knife down at areum’s heart. she’d ball the fist together, spitting out the words she’s been wanting to tell jeno since day 1.

“i might seem useless to you but don’t forget that i’m a journalist. i know and have my ways, i can’t be doing house chores for you as you please.”

jeno listened well despite being against the open idea— unlike jaemin who is also against areum going on missions, he is worried and cares for her. but jeno , he simply doesn’t trust areum. he could care less what happens to her, but if she were to ruin the plan then that is his fault for putting slight trust in the girl. areum could easily be plotting. after all she is a journalist.

he laughs lightly. “i don’t trust you. for all i know you could always be plotting behind me.” areum would slightly glare, “if i were to be plotting, i would’ve done it weeks ago. you’re not necessarily hard to hit.”

she glances down to his crotch area through the robe. jeno turns his body away from her, glaring. “don’t even remind me of the pain you did to me.” the time areum kicked his dick was the day jeno saw the light from heaven itself.

jeno shakes his head. “let’s not change the subject. no is no, areum. go back to bed, i’m done with this conversation.”

jeno watches the girl leave the room, he sighs into the open. why does he feel bad rejecting her idea though? maybe he can understand that she weren’t like the other females, she does not shy from dangerous situations. areum almost craves unpredictable situations.

areum dislikes routine and he knew this. maybe areum can bring something good by doing this though? he glances down at the poster of a rich hotel, a smirk automatically curved on the pale canvas of his face.

bingo.

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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating, copy righting and plagiarising my work!

reblog, like, comment and follow me for more content on my blog and stories <3 much appreciated ily!

[wren-kitchens]

all that matters (p2)

inspired by @fire-to-embers ‘s reblog of my last rancher duo ficlet (I forgot to give it a title lol-)

I thought it was such an amazing idea, I just had to do it

the moment jimmy opened his eyes and found himself back in the mesa, he knew he had to find tango again.

he’s spent two days holed up in his house, only leaving to feed the animals, researching ways to travel across worlds. eventually, he found a way to use the portal technology to travel across worlds— thanks to the local archeologist, pixlriffs.

he’d been studying portals for a little while as a hobby (a hobby??) and apparently heard about jimmy’s research and decided to help.

so now jimmy has most of the materials he thinks he needs. he doesn’t know where it’s going to open— he just knows it’ll be where tango is. he has the blackstone, the diamonds, the soil for the soul fire, but he’s missing the final thing: a skulk catalyst.

no way is he going into the deep dark— him dying wouldn’t do anyone any good— so he travels to the man he has heard is the collector of the server. surely he’d have one.

“i’m sorry, you want a what?” scott says, hands on hips and looking slightly distastefully at jimmy’s clothes (which he hasn’t changed out of since his reappearance in the mesa).

“look, I know.” jimmy pleads. “but I really need one. I don’t know who else to go to.”

“why would you need something like that?” scott asks. “are you making a farm or something? ‘cause in that case you should talk to pixl about that-“

“no, it’s not a farm.” jimmy says. how is he gonna explain this? “it’s.. a portal. but not to another dimension. to another world.”

scott blinks. “you lost me.”

jimmy exhales, hoping the memory barriers between worlds aren’t as strong as they seem. “i’m looking for tango.” he says.

for a moment, he thinks scott doesn’t remember. then his face shifts from a blank expression to one of understanding. “oh. you mean-“

“yes.” jimmy cuts him off, not wanting to hear it. “yes and I need the catalyst to finish the portal. do you have one?”

“i can get one.” scott says. “for a price. what do you have?”

jimmy knew this was coming, so he pulls out the bundle of all his remaining diamonds. the ones for the portal are at his base. “all of these.” he says, watching the look of surprise and greed flash in scott’s eyes. “for one catalyst. and I need it soon.”

“done.” scott reaches for the diamonds, but jimmy pulls them away.

“after you get me it.” he says.

scott shoots him a scowl. “fine. give me a day.”

“a day?” jimmy exclaims.

“well i’d prefer not to be killed by the warden.” scott says. “i’ll set off now, how ‘bout that?”

“deal.” jimmy says resentfully.

he gets back onto his horse as scott gets his armour sorted and rides back to tumble town. he could use the extra time to make the portal, he supposes.

—-

tango is frantic. he cannot find any way to bypass the boundaries of the world. doc is too busy with his farms to pay any attention to him, and he can’t even get to ren, what with his new bodyguard bdubs.

he’s been trying to find something, anything that might get him through the borders of their world, when he stumbles across the Entity.

of course: grian would know. how had he not thought of that before? he created the life games, and the Entity, he knows this kind of stuff.

he grabs his elytra and flies as fast as he can to grian’s base.

“grian!” he yells as he lands. “grian where are-“ he cuts himself off with a scream, as when he steps into grian’s base, a chorus of ear-piercing shrieks go off. shriekers.

“yes!” grian laughs, punching the air. “that’s two for two!”

“oh god, what even is that?” tango asks, hand on his chest.

“oh, like, fifteen shriekers and a skulk sensor.” grian says, not moving from where he stands. “I got impulse so good with that the other day.”

“jesus.” tango breathes. “I can sympathise with him. can we talk outside? that is terrifying.”

grian grins. “sure.” he walks over to the door, setting off the shriekers again.

tango groans, clapping his hands over his ears and following softly behind until they’re out of range. “you’re incredibly annoying.”

“yes.” grian nods. “so what did you want?”

“okay, this is gonna sound weird.” tango says. “but do you know a place where you could.. I don’t know, travel to different worlds?”

grian stares at him for a second, and tango thinks he’s confused until he says, “dude I literally have one under my house.”

“you what?!” tango exclaims.

“why do you think my base can float?” grian says. he extends his wings and walks off the bridge. “c’mon!” he calls, flying down.

tango follows, gliding down after him. they come to a stop in front of a massive hole. it’s surrounded by a rock formation that is oddly familiar.

“it’s down here.” grian gestures towards the pit. “it can get kind of.. weird down there.” he warns. “stuff’s been..” he shakes his head. “it’s just weird. cool, but weird.”

tango isn’t sure if he wants to know what grian means— or if he wants to go down there at all — but it’s his only way of reaching jimmy.

“okay.” tango says after a moment.

grian looks at him, a slight frown on his face. “I think i know what this is about.”

a surge of panic rushes through tango. will grian let him go through with this? is this even allowed in the life games?

“please, i’ve gotta-“ tango starts, but grian waves his pleas away.

“i’m not gonna stop you.” he says, giving tango a grin. “i know you two got close in the games.” the way he says it makes tango’s face flush.

“yeah, well.” tango says, embarrassed. “I just- I don’t know what i’m gonna do if this doesn’t work.”

“I can help you.” grian offers. “i’ve been trying to figure out this kind of thing for a little while, and I think I know parts of how it works.”

tango starts to say something, when a loud noise cuts him off from the pit.

grian peers down. “we should check that out.” he says.

they fly down there. it’s a massive cavern, mostly lit up, with an enormous purple crack in one of the walls. it keeps shifting colours, one second blue, another pink, but overall it’s akin to enderman eyes.

“that’s.. odd.” grian is staring at the rift. “it only does this when something’s being..” his eyes widen. “oh.”

“‘oh’?” tango turns on him. “what do you mean ‘oh’?! what’s it doing?!”

grian’s eyes are fixed on something in the rift. tango follows his gaze and sees a dark blob in the mixing mass of purple.

“grian,” tango repeats, staring at the blob. it looks like it’s getting closer, and as it does, it becomes more clear. it’s a figure— a human figure. “what is it doing.”

“it only does this..” grian says slowly. “when it’s transporting something. or.. someone.”

just as the figure breaks the surface of the rift, both of their communicators buzz in unison.

<solidaritygaming joined the game>

tango doesn’t know who moves first. they both run to each other, crashing together in a messy hug. there’s water on tango’s face, and he doesn’t know if he’s crying, if jimmy is or if it’s both of them, but it doesn’t matter. it doesn’t matter because jimmy is here, and he isn’t leaving any time soon.

they don’t know how long passes. it could be seconds, it could be hours that they’re in the embrace. they don’t care.

tango’s face is in jimmy’s hair (is it longer?) breathing him in.

“i’ve missed you so much.” tango says.

jimmy doesn’t say anything, but holds him closer.

“i’m not going anywhere.” tango mutters into jimmy’s hair. “not again.”

“oh, god.” jimmy’s voice is hoarse. “tango.” the way jimmy says it, it’s a complete sentence. just him.

“i’m right here.” tango says. “right here.”

jimmy pulls away after a moment, taking tango in. he looks different— his hair shoulder length now, and dressed like a cowboy. there’s something that looks like skulk smeared on his face, and there’s a couple of cuts and bruises on his arms, but he looks positively ecstatic.

“you- you look different.” jimmy traces a hand down tango’s face. he might melt.

“so do you.” tango smiles. “always knew you’d be a cowboy.”

“were you inspired by the rancher?” jimmy says, fingering the skulk in his hair.

“were you?” tango chuckles.

“well, how’d you think I made the portal here?” he grins. “our local archeologist helped me out a bit. scott got the skulk though.”

“scott?” tango asks. “he doesn’t seem like the kind to go searching in the deep dark.”

“well, I payed him the rest of my diamonds.” jimmy says, but he’s not focusing on his words. a smile slips onto his lips. “I almost forgot how beautiful you are.”

tango feels his face flush. “can I kiss you yet?” he says. “I really wanna kiss you.”

jimmy laughs. “now why would I ever say no to that?”

tango leans towards him and their lips meet. jimmy pulls tango closer, running a hand through his hair, the other on his waist. tango is holding jimmy’s face in his hands. he smiles into the kiss when he feels jimmy’s wings around him, soft as ever (if slightly unkempt).

they’d later thank grian profusely for having the rift so open, and tango would explore the world jimmy came from. they’d get doc to set up inter-world communication, and the life game players would be incredibly surprised to find joel standing at 11” tall, scott in his colourful attire and lizzie as.. whatever she was.

later, there would be frequent correspondence between the two worlds, with raw material exports from hermitcraft and odd ‘magic’ items from the empires. (no one would know if these items were magic for sure, but they seemed to work as advertised and were interesting to run tests on.)

but that is for later. for the time being, tango and jimmy are back together and that is all that matters for them.

[spookibird]

PLEASE tell me more about penny lamb being more like legolands penny lamb that sounds so amazing and could only lead to chaos

Sure!

It would absolutely lead to chaos.

Penny in Legoland is an absolute MENACE, she argues with a lot of people in St. Cassian’s, and has been suspended at least once

And that’s not getting into the actual plot of Legoland where she travels miles, gets into a fight and gets arrested

She’s very nervous but she isn’t shy, she can and will talk for ages about stuff she's passionate about to try to conceal her nerves

This version of Penny probably joined the choir to help make friends and also because she enjoys music, maybe to help her reputation as well considering everything that happened just 2 YEARS prior

She would probably get along best with Noel actually, he would remind her of Ezra, with his flair for the dramatic, and his love for the gloomier side of life, plus I feel like they would both bond over poetry

Penny and Ricky would def be friends, she loves all his cats bc animals and also would like to listen to his stories about Zolar, furthermore, I feel like he’s one of the few who would happily listen to her ramble about animals and conservation, every time they hang out he learns a new fact about an animal

Mischa and Penny I think would be close, I feel like they would bond over having to adjust to a new society, with Mischa coming from Ukraine, and Penny coming from Elysium, they would be in similar situations

Penny would like Constance’s calm energy compared to the rest of the choir but I also think they would have similar tastes in music, tv shows and films! Constance shows her a lot of tv shows, I think they would binge watch together.

Ocean and Penny’s relationship would be tense, I feel like they would butt heads in the classroom a lot, Penny often trying to correct Ocean or vice versa, but they share a similar view on swearing and both take the choir very seriously, so they tolerate each other (I love the duo potential in RTC but Legoland Penny would absolutely hate Ocean I’m sorry)

Overall the choir would be 10x more chaotic than they already are and Penny would create problems both by accident and on purpose, most of the antics in Legoland were her ideas so that would carry over to this

She would absolutely get them in trouble on field trips by finding ways to sneak into places they shouldn’t be, Mischa absolutely encourages her, Ocean tries to stop her, she is just determined to see why they can’t go there, nothing can stop her

But once the choir finds out about the events of Legoland is when the chaos would truly start

They probably found out via someone mentioning it in the hallways or via google

Penny is extremely embarrassed

“I was 15! Young and stupid!”

“You were 15???”

She does tell them what happened in full because she trusts her friends

Mischa, Ricky, and Constance find the story hilarious, Ocean is shocked that PENNY of all people would have a criminal record before anyone else

Noel sympathises with her but also thinks it's kinda funny, he's mostly impressed they managed to pull it off

Overall they don't think any less of Penny, mostly, it's in the past and she hasn't done anything nearly as dumb as that recently and seems remorseful over it

Meeting Ezra would be a DISASTER however

Penny tries to explain to Ezra that these are her friends so he doesn’t need to worry about them

He’s protective of her tho so he’s still suspicious

He hates Ocean so much, like she walks into the room and he immediately knows he’s not going to like her, he finds her condescending, it takes months for him to be able to tolerate her (I love Ocean but the Lamb siblings would hate her)

He absolutely terrifies Constance, he doesn’t do much to scare her but he reminds her of Jane and he also spends a lot of the time just staring at her

Penny tries to explain that that’s just something he does but it doesn’t help

He is suspicious of Mischa’s bad boy persona, but trusts Penny’s judgement, he just watches him from a distance

The only two members of the choir Ezra likes are Noel and Ricky, he likes Ricky’s creativity, and Noel’s shared love of darker aspects of life

He does try to sell them drugs, they refuse, Penny has everyone leave after that

Penny still thinks it went well despite everything, most of the choir are terrified of this intense 14 year old

I just think the Legoland version of the characters would make everything 10x more chaotic and make the choir look sensible for once.

[harry-styles-obsessed]

Two faced

Request: hi I was wondering whether you’d be comfortable with this one, but have you seen fresh before? Starring Sebastian Stan- If not then no worries but if you have could you do something along the lines of that? Please? I don’t mind what you can make it up! Thank you

Warnings: kidnapping, dark! Harry, fucked up shit, mentions of cannibalism (based off of the actual movie), near death, gore, sick doctor fantasy, needles, just weird shit so don’t read if any of it makes you uncomfortable.

Your friend Ebony wasn’t one to get boyfriends… because she simply didn’t want a boyfriend. However when she got one you were happy for her, of course, but there were massive red flags with him. Apparently his name was Edward, but from the get go something just didn’t feel right… you tried to just be happy for her and you were very happy for her until she went missing. Out of the blue, she stopped messaging you, stopped sending pictures and especially stopped your weekly phone calls with each other. It was odd and really fishy and so you being the good friend, you went searching for her.

You parked outside of the house, looking down at your phone which had the same house in the picture with Edwards wife and two kids. You had done some research and found the same guy in pictures with whom he called his wife and kids. You watched the car pull into the drive watching as the wife stepped out of the car carrying bags of shopping, her kids running past her and in through the front door… “this is fucked up shit” you said mainly to yourself in absolute shock horror… something wasn’t right, something was really off and you didn’t like it one bit.

You got out of your car making your way to the front door, you were petrified to say the least. Something was incredibly wrong and not knowing what was wrong scared the crap out of you. You knocked the door and within a second the lady opened the door, she had short blonde hair, she gazed at you expectantly “yes?” You stared at her nervously noticing the slight Russian twinge in her accent “um, your husb- I mean my friend knows your husband… my friend went missing and the last person with her was your husband.” You said and she stared at you confused “you do realise how weird that sounds right?” She asked and you nodded “I know I know… I’m just concerned about my friend.” You said and she seemed to sympathise with you “come in. Let’s talk for a bit but we have to make it quick okay?” She said and you nodded “okay.” You said softly.

You settled down into one of the sofas “my husband isn’t a cheater I know that for one, trust me… I’m pretty sure you have the wrong man.” She said and you nodded feeling slightly disheartened. You just wanted ebony to be safe. “Look please can you just help? I- I…” she cut you off “I’m sorry. I’m not the police. I cant help you.” Suddenly the slam of a door was heard and a worried look formed on her face “that’s my husband, you’ve got to go.” She said standing up and you followed her movements “right right of course” you said looking down anxiously but as you were about to move the husband walked into the room and you froze. Ebony had sent you photos of her “boyfriend” and this guy looked exactly like him “oh, who’s this honey?” He asked looking at his wife “she’s just looking for her friend… she went missing… but she’s going now” his wife said but you didn’t move “my friend, Ebony, she met you… have you seen her?” You asked and he looked at his wife looking rather confused “uh, no I’m sorry…” he said and you sighed “it’s okay, um… you’re Edward right?” You asked and he stared at you furrowing his brows “uh, no, I’m harry” he said sticking his hand out towards you to greet you but you didn’t even think about shaking his head “but you go by Edward, right?” You asked once again and he shook his head “no I’m sorry…” he said and you blinked before sighing “right no, I’m sorry I shouldn’t of Intruded” you said before making your way towards the exit, Harry leading you to the front door “when was the last time you saw ebony?” He asked going to open the door but you didn’t even notice, staring down at your phone as you pressed onto ebony’s contact, watching as it rang, your body tensing up as the familiar ringtone rang from Harry’s pocket. He had ebony’s phone. Why? What the fuck? He pulled ebony’s phone out looking at you with an amused look before tilting his head to the side “oh look…. It’s you.” He said letting out a soft chuckle his expression soon turning into a look you couldn’t quite decipher “you shouldn’t of done that” he said staying dead still as something hit you in the back of your head as your vision went black your body slumping onto the ground as Harry stared at your body laying limply on the floor before his eyes moved to his wife who was holding a large pan in her hand “thanks for the backup” he said pressing a kiss to her cheek before he grabbed a hold of your wrist his other hand resting on your hip as he lifted you up, throwing you carelessly over his shoulder “I’ll be back home later, tell the boys Goodnight for me.”

You awoke to the feeling of hands on your body, you forced your eyes open seeing Harry, he wore gloves and what looked like scrubs. “Oh good you’re awake.” He said smiling cruelly “what the fuck…” you whispered watching as he held a needle in his hand “don’t touch me with that” you said and he raised his brows at you “what you gonna do? You gonna hit me hm? Awe” he pouted his lips mocking you completely. He was a literal monster. “If you’re gonna stay here and stay alive then you’ve got to learn to be on your best behaviour” he said and your breathing quickened “when you’re not on your best behaviour you get your body parts removed. One by one. Like ebony. I took her ass. My customer really enjoyed it.” He said grinning cruelly, your stomach churching. He was a sicko! “Customer?” You whimpered and he looked you dead in the eyes as he smirked “mhm.”

“What… what?” You asked flabbergasted “you wouldn’t understand.” He said and you stared at him shocked… confused… “I sell meat for a living.” He said and you blinked “animal meat?” You asked and he stared at you letting out a soft laugh “oh you’re so innocent, cute… no. I sell human meat.” He said horror consuming you. You didn’t want to believe it. You felt sick. “I’ve got to give you an epidural okay? You won’t feel anything from the waist down” he said and you stared at him horrified “what…” he nodded his head “sorry. You aren’t getting out of this. Bad girls need punishing.” He said and without even saying another word stabbed the sharp needle into the lower of your back, a soft scream falling from your lips and he stared at you “oh stop being so dramatic.”

~

You gasped awake, looking around as you noticed you were now in a small room. You let out a shaky breath glancing down at your body, you were fine… did you have a dream? Why didn’t he take something from you? Was he just messing with you? But that was suddenly the least of your worries as a sudden scream filled the entire house up “Ebony!!! You bitch!” The scream of Harry echoed around as you stared wide eyed. What was happening. Suddenly the door that imprisoned you was opened as Ebony rushed in “y/n! Oh my god thank god” she said pushing the keypad against the handcuffs that restricted your wrists from going too far “Ebony?” You asked softly, blood covered her entire mouth and hands “what happened?” You asked horrified. “I cant tell you right now… we’ve got to go… come on!” She rushed out of the room and you stood up hearing Harry’s screams of anger. It was terrifying “I’m going to cut your heart out!!” He screamed once again and you quickly rushed after her, running to the kitchen grabbing a knife, arming yourself with a knife and as Harry came round the corner grabbing onto his crotch you realised what had happened, every time he walked he limped, a splatter of blood landing just beneath him. She had bit off his dick. Holy shit. Bad ass.

As he looked toward you you quickly ducked down “fucking stupid bitches, I’m going to kill you both… you’re gonna regret this! Should’ve killed you y/n… should’ve fucking never spared your ass. Should’ve taken it and earned more money!” He yelled getting closer and as he rounded the corner you jumped up stabbing the knife into his thigh, a yell of pain falling from his mouth, his hands grabbing a hold of your shoulders as he slammed you into the fridge, your body hitting the ground as he clambered on top of you “where do you think you’re going bitch? Huh? You think you’re going somewhere? You aren’t making it out of here alive” he spat out but was soon tackled off of you as Ebony crash landed on top of him, slapping the shit out of him and as he began fighting her back you stood up limping over to the countertop noticing a hammer, picking it up and within a second you slammed it at Harry’s face, his body slumping on top of ebony’s, blood spurting from the bridge of his nose… you had quite literally cracked his face open.

You and ebony held onto each others hands as you both sprinted the hell out of the house, “you bitches!” He yelled firing six rounds into the air and Ebony began dragging you along as you panted from fear and adrenaline. “Hide hide hide” Ebony yelled at you shoving you down behind a tree as more bullets were shot and she hid with you, Harry limping closer and closer “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Is that what you wanted to hear? I’m sorry okay!!” He yelled crying. It’s too late for that… too late for sorry’s… As he turned around you sprinted towards him jumping on his back knocking him down his head hitting the ground as he grunted staring up at you trying to fight you, you struggling against him as you slammed one punch into his face, “bitch” he spat out and you took the gun from him standing up straighter as you passed the gun to Ebony, she instantly pointed the gun at him staring down at him angrily her breathing uneven as she didn’t offer any kindness or mercy

“C’mon… can I get a smile?” She asked looking down at him and as he smiled cockily she shot the gun, a bullet landing straight in his forehead as his eyes stilled, his breathing stopping… he was dead… finally… you glanced at ebony grabbing a hold of her hand and she smiled “we’re free.” She then squeezed your hand three times ‘I love you’ and you squeezed her hand back four times

“I love you more”

[wcamino-confessions]

Misconceptions and stuff - MiseryXCPR again

Stuff I forgot to add to the post / Saw within it from what others have said.

1) Im still technically an amateur at commissions, I'm still learning how to do them effectively and efficiently,  I'm still learning my style despite what everyone says about it, etc. I'm still ""new"" at commissions. I learned about a app called Trello, in which I have been looking into for future reference for commissions. Trello from my understanding helps organize a lot of things such as commissions due, person it belongs to, etc. I'm still looking into it but I'll definitely keep this in mind.

2) Terms of Services - I never had one. I'm still learning about commissions and taking them, I never had a TOS nor have I thought about it into too much because at first commissions were a- for fun type thing. Now, I do it as a part time job and I've been considering a Terms of Service but never got around to it - mostly due to how busy I am but also because I'm not familiar with learning how to do it. 

3) I will be working on my memory after hearing amazing advise from people. Trello will most likely be my solution, or writing things down on a sheet of paper is what someone advised me I believe.. I will be working on it as best as I can and will actively try to improve off of the situation. Please keep in mind; I'm not trying to excuse myself nor am I trying to make excuses or create a "pity party". I wanted to clear things up to show i have no ill intentions and that I am deeply sorry for the inconveniences.

4) "Why did I take so many commissions" - I have addictions that I am now currently battling and trying to face, commissions was an extra income for me to either get rides or important necessities like food, a home, etc or to fuel my addictions or want to help my "friends" whom use me for my money. It wasn't healthy of me to do so much nor was it worth the stress, and I am again- actively trying to battle these addictions. I do also enjoy art and such, at first it was a thrill to do commissions - I've never felt so proud that I could do something with my art. However I went overboard with the commissions and it became a drag and something unenjoyble. This regards any robux commissions I have done that doesn't involve the top one - which is why I mostly do PayPal commissions. 

5) More on Tansy, as I've been questioned about it and seen misinformation still going around. I have spoken to the person whom paid for them (will not involve them anymore due to their own request), and I've noticed that the commissioned they paid was 12$~ roughly. Which, is incorrect as I double checked and it was 8$ or 7,28$. I am still actively trying to give them back their money and solve the situation, and I do not wish for any ill intentions or harm towards anyone involved. 

7) I'm French, so my apologies for horrible wording or such. While I have lived in the states, i still suck at English. I also lack a lot of empathy, I struggle with it and I'm trying hard to find ways to understand and sympathise with others. I still try to do so. While this subject is very personal to me, I feel like this should be addressed.

8) Thank you to those who have been supportive and helping me still, I'm trying to balance out my real life situation and this whole situation and I want to help clear the air and at least help put others at ease. 

I have Full intentions on refunding a large amount of commissioners, and I already refunded many people as it is so I can "start over" once I deal with my real life situation. Thank you for all the advise, criticism and support, this will be my last message regarding the situation (if I need to clear up more information then please let me know)

Also, for those who have asked, I'm a male.

[mortalisangelus]

Everywhere you go i hope you know you're never alone.

Summary:

A female perspective on dealing with love, losing people, growing up and the effects one person can have in the space of a year while navigating complicated families, mental health, and education.

A teen girls admittance of bottled up emotions in the form of a one sided conversation addressed to a boy who will never know her feelings. Her feelings for him is the start of a realisation and year long journey of growth, anger and feminine frustration.

TW - underage drinking, talks of abuse, depression, anxiety, mature topics

Chapter 1: Unexplained explanation

I hate you so much but I can’t stop thinking about you. At first you were only a name I heard from my friend, well my best friend at the time, Flossie. She would talk about you non-stop and I think it’s because she liked you a lot. Most the stuff she said about you was kinda negative. I read somewhere that when people constantly bring up someone in a way to put them down, when the person hasn’t done anything, it’s usually because they like them and are trying to find ways to talk about that person without raising suspicion. I’m not entirely sure on the validity of that, but I’m half convinced there’s some truth behind that idea. Anyways, I heard about you before I even met you. You and my friend had some sort of thing going on between You two, if it was romantic I cannot say for sure but I have a strong inclination it was. I don’t think you would have ever been right for each other, you were both too different. I remember her talking about the arguments you’d have, it’s a good thing you were never together. Perhaps I say that selfishly, but I remember thinking that before I ever met you. Although nothing happened and you two moved on,I don’t think she ever did, and maybe you didn’t either. That’s not something I’ll ever know. Well, either way the truth is there’s something about you that entices people in but you’re too noncommittal to ever let people satisfy their curiosity.

You’re a Handsome man and you know you are and you receive plenty of attention, you know how to play up your allure, annoyingly. Your demeanour and your looks match each other well, but your personality is one that surprised me at first. All I knew of you before I met you was a second hand impression attached with pictures I’d seen on social media. From what I’d been told you were some sort of player, with this aloof arty in a writer type of way, with some angsty attitude somewhere in the mix. The trouble is knowing things about you from someone else meant I knew things you never told me and maybe for personal reasons. I feel bad about it now, although at the time I was only listening to a new story my friend had, what could be wrong with that? The more I got to know you on my own I felt like we had more and more in common. In fact I found you to be a really diligent and smart person, with a secret soft side. My friend told me about your past and about how your sister made false allegations of abuse against you and your dad, causing your family to drift apart. You made it very clear that you didn’t like your sister, which, to be honest came off slightly weird as you never disclosed this to anyone else. Knowing the deeper reason I can sympathise, especially as a similar situation happened with me. I never told you this but my brother was physically abusive to me, my sisters and mum. On multiple occasions the police had to get involved. This is something I’ve never really told anyone and I know you’ll never know this but I just wanted you to know I get it. I’m sorry I know about it.

In reality it’s silly how much of an impact you’ve had on me, I keep talking about how before I met you but I’ve only ever actually met you in person a handful of time. Most of the time we spoke it was via text or message embarrassingly on Snapchat, oh and there was lots of calls on Facetime. I can remember every time I met you and all the thoughts I had and my feelings around those times. I’ve known you for just over a year; you’ve changed my life greatly in that time, but for you? It’s like I entered and left yours without any evidence I was ever there. I have so many things I wanna say to you or admit to you but I can’t and never will. I’ve never met someone who has made me so upset, happy, confused, and frustrated all at once. My situation that adds a secondary layer to my friendship to you is confusing but makes a little bit of sense of all that went on, what I felt and maybe still feel. This is a layer I need to explore in words for myself as I write this. I speak addressing you in this, but I hope you understand this is more an exercise for me. I need to make sense of who I’ve been over the last year or so, and let myself move on emotionally from a part of my life that I can’t figure out. A map of the times we met, our calls, you, what everything meant to me. A route to understanding my place as a woman, and the helplessness I feel.

It’s not all your fault, but I’d like to at least hear you say “I’m sorry”, Benji.

[cazimagines]

Every day, it feels like I've lost them again

Synopsis: Sam shouts at Zemo for the things he has done. Though Zemo doesn’t show it the words hurt him deeply. Later on the reader finds Zemo and talks to him about his past.

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Bit of angst, Sad Zemo, mentions to his family’s death and his attempted suicide

Author note: I had plans for another Zemo one shot but then I watched a sad Zemo edit which made me cry and here we are

Cross posted on my Ao3 account under the same name

MASTER LIST

The streets seemed silent as you sadly walked home. The only sound was your footsteps dragging along the floor. The silence between all of you was piercing. Today had been an enormous failure, and you all were feeling it weighing down on you. Pushing down your hopes for things to improve. Zemo had somehow found out where the flag smashers would be, from a trusted source, he said, so you all went charging off to talk to them. It was a trap. Zemo didn’t know it was a trap either, though Sam still believed otherwise. You all had barely got out of there safely. It had been close, too close for your liking.

“There’s always tomorrow,” Zemo says, hating the stone cold silence coming from everyone.

“But there’s not,” Sam spits back angrily, “That was the one proper chance we could've had to talk to Kali, and we failed”

“You shouldn’t be so pessimistic,” Zemo argues back, rolling his eyes.

“Pessimistic. Are you for serious, pessimistic,” Sam says shaking his head at Zemo, “You hear this guy I’m the pessimistic one”

“Leave it Sam” Bucky mutters trying to push him along, but Sam refuses.

Sam steps towards Zemo, standing just a few centimeters away from his face, his eyes glaring daggers at him. Zemo stops walking, clenching his jaw and tilting his head to stare back at Sam, not breaking eye contact.

Both you and Bucky glance at each other, not really sure if you should stop this or let it happen.

“You could have led us to our deaths today, Zemo, which I am sure was your intention. You make it clear that you wouldn’t hesitate to see any of us off to our funerals. All because you got butt hurt about the avengers preventing Ultron from destroying the earth at the cost of your country.”

The breath leaves your mouth as the words slip out of Sam’s mouth. Your lips, slightly ajar, turn to look at Sam. He’s breathing heavily, glaring at Zemo. Zemo’s lips curled down into an angry frown and his eyebrows furrowed. You could see his fists curl up, something Bucky must have noticed as well, and he put a hand on Sam’s shoulder to pull him away from Zemo.

“Sam this isn’t the time”

Sam finally gives in and pulls back, but Zemo steps forward, grabbing onto his jacket. Bucky reaches for his gun, but Zemo waves his hand at him, motioning him not to.

“You don’t know the first thing about me, Sam.” is all he says, letting go of Sam’s jacket roughly and storming off.

It would be hours later till you saw him again. During that time your mind was often thinking back to Zemo. When you really thought about it, you realised you knew nothing about him. Heck, until recently you didn’t know he was a Baron. All you had been told was that he was a Sokovian who wanted to split the avengers up because of what they did to his country. Being a Baron, you supposed that made it more personal for him. Still, it felt like something was missing. Something didn’t add up.

You laid in one of the many guest rooms tossing and turning while all these thoughts flooded your mind. Eventually you gave up on the idea of ever getting sleep tonight and got up. If you weren’t sleeping, you might as well get some midnight snacks. Heading into the main room, you notice the door leading to the back was open, letting a chilly breeze float in.

Heading over to check it out, your eyes lie upon Zemo sitting on top of a fallen over tree trunk in the back patio, looking up at the night sky. His coat was wrapped around him to keep him warm, and his face was expressionless as he looked up to the night sky that was scattered with the stars. He hadn’t noticed you staring at him, his mind was far from where his body was.

After a few moments of just staring at him, you broke the silence, “Zemo?”

His head instantly snapped to you, surprised to have been caught unaware.

“Oh, hello y/n, can’t sleep?”

You shake your head, taking his question as an invitation to go over and sit next to him, “No, to many thoughts in my mind to go to sleep”

“Ah, a common problem for an insomniac”

“I assume you have similar reasons, since you are out hear”

He looks away from you, smiling weakly at the floor, “Yes something like that, sleep comes rarely to me”

Your eyes flutter down to the ground, not really sure what to say, “I’m sorry to hear that” you whisper

You both sit there in silence for a few minutes. It wasn’t an awkward silence like what you were used to. No. It was a comfortable silence. You were both thankful just to have someone beside you at that moment. You shudder slightly as the wind picks up, making the hairs on your arm stand up. Zemo notices and slowly shrugs off his coat, placing it around you. You smile politely up at him in thanks.

“May I ask what your thoughts were?” Zemo asks gently, glancing back over to you

“You probably think it was about our failure, right?” you say and Zemo nods his head slightly

“They weren’t, actually. I didn’t suspect us to accomplish anything. It seemed to good to be true. No, I was thinking about what happened after. Between you and Sam”

Zemo’s face instantly shifted, his mouth pulling into a frown and his eyebrows furrowing, “Ah” is all he says

“What Sam said was way out of line. I can’t understand the pain you must feel about losing Sokovia”

Zemo hums to let you know he heard but doesn’t say anymore, his gaze just returns to the sky.

You didn’t want to push him too far. Over this time you had gotten to know him and almost considered him a friend, but you couldn’t help but be curious. You wanted to know more about him.

“But there’s more isn’t there. Something we don’t know,” you say gently

You can see him swallow and his fingers dig into his palms as he tenses at your question.

After a moment he finally responds, “Yes, you’re right. I... I had a family who died that day. My father, wife and child. I told them to go out of the city to the countryside. That was where my father lived, you see. I had to stay behind as I was a part of this Sokovian kill squad. Even as royalty, I still had duties. I had faith in the avengers. They would sort everything out. But they didn’t. When the battle was one they just returned home, leaving us with the hard task of finding all the dead. I assumed my family would be safe, yet it took me two days after to find their bodies.”

Your body gets overwhelmed with coldness as you hear his story. The memories of the battle flooded your mind and you could feel a bitterness creep into your mouth. You could have stayed behind to help. Why didn’t you? Your eyes water slightly as you sympathise with him and feel the guilt lie on your soul.

“Oh god Zemo, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked,” you are quick to respond

“No...it’s okay. If I didn’t want to tell you, I wouldn’t have said anything”

You look up to the night sky and reflect over his words. All the pain that Zemo must feel, holding onto, and you did not know. None of you did. You were sure if Sam knew he wouldn’t have said the things he did. You knew what Zemo did was wrong, but damn you couldn’t help but empathise with him.

“If you want…” you start, hoping what you were choosing to ask wouldn’t be going too far, “would you like to tell me about them?”

Zemo finally looks away from the sky, his eyes looking to the ground. He swallows again, slightly sniffing before speaking.

“My Son, Carl, he was four when he... when he died. He always did this cute thing where if he didn’t like the food on his plate he would pretend he was gifting the food to you to show his love for you”

You chuckle slightly thinking about it, “That does sounds cute”

“He was the most precious thing in existence. He always wanted a sibling like his friends had. He loved the idea of being an older brother. Every morning when the mail arrived, he asked if he had a brother or sister delivered to him. Me and my wife… we were planning on having more kids. We knew he would've made the best big brother. We hoped for a girl, you know, to even things out”

“What was she like?”

“She was so beautiful. Like the goddess Venus. Many men tried to win her affection, but she settled for me. I had never felt like a luckier man. She was so kind, so generous, so loving. My perfect angel”

The tears that had been threatening to fall from Zemo’s eyes broke the dam and fell down his cheeks.

“If I could, I would give up everything I have, everything I own just to hold them in my arms again”

A sob breaks out of him and he holds his hand up to his mouth as his eyes crinkle up as more tears fall. He tries to wipe them away, but he can’t stop crying. You put your arm around him and pull him into a hug which he gladly accepts. He wraps his arms around you and buries his head into your shoulder as he sobs.

“I miss them so much”

You say nothing, just rub your hand on his back reassuringly. He takes a few minutes before he speaks again.

“I tried to end my life after I completed my revenge. So I didn’t have to live another day without them. But I failed. I spent the next seven years without them. And everyday it feels like I’ve lost them again,”

“What do you plan to do… after we have finished here?”

You can feel Zemo’s body tenses in your arms as you ask that question, “I think you know, y/n”

You pull back from him to look into his blood-shot eyes. “Zemo, I know this is so very hard for you, but please don’t. I know with your wit and cunning you can think of a way to escape all of this safely. I will not pretend to know your wife, but if she is anything like what you have told me about, I’m sure she wouldn’t want you to either. She would want you to find some happiness in life,”

Zemo finally moves away from you, standing up off the tree log and taking one last look at the sky before then looking back at you. He’d stopped crying by now but the tear stained cheek and dark under eyes were evidence of what had just occurred. The side of his lip tried to twitch up into a slight smile but it faltered,

“Thank you, y/n”

Taglist: @multiyfandomgirl40 @ineffablebean @freyjasamael @avgravy @jayxkelsi @huntheimpossible @checkurwindow @there-goes-thefighter @bunniwritesx @montypythonsholysnail @yallgotkik

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Can you make headcanon with Demons Brothers ( Obey me ) who finds out about reader was abused ? Sorry for my english, it's not my first languague.

Well, I don’t know what’s like to be physically abused by your family, but I’ve been through my fair share of abuse in a relationship, so I can understand where you come from here.

For anyone who sees this post and needs comfort after any kind of dark thing that happened to you, including abuse of any kind - Yes, even the types that happen in relationships - You get what I mean - I will write for that.

I had BNHA blogs who wrote comfort pieces for me and it helped to make me feel better, and if I can help anyone feel better with themselves after this like that, then I’m happy x

Also, I don’t write for so many characters in one post anymore, it’s honestly draining and I can’t bring myself to write like that anymore, so I will just write for Lucifer, Mammon and Satan x

- - - - -

Lucifer

Out of everyone, Lucifer is the only one who can keep his composure, albeit barely so.

He is a demon, he knows all humans sin, but unlike demons, humans are supposed to be both good and evil, so what the hell possessed those idiots to behave so terribly with a pure angel such as yourself?

He just couldn’t comprehend why the hell humans are capable of such atrocities, when not even demons behave this way.

Ahh, the anger he’s feeling, not even Satan, in his worst phase, could understand - It was a monumental, infinite, incomprehensible kind of rage that burnt his heart so badly.

Despite everything he was feeling as you told him everything that happened, he merely bit his lip to contain himself, and hugged you tightly, letting you cry in his arms, as he stroked your hair, knowing that it can calm down a human - Or at least some sort of sense of protection and warmth.

He would tell you how you were so incredibly brave for managing to tell someone about the horrible, while also, you are so strong for being able to live with this for so long, and bear with the consequences of abuse.

But you managed to break through, somehow, and you were amazing - In his eyes, you were the strongest human alive.

Lucifer knows how horrible emotional pain is, and he would much rather feel physical one, than the other type, because he knows he won’t break that way.

But seeing you so fragile, small and broken in his arms ultimately shattered his heart, and he swore to get revenge in the worst way possible on your abusers.

He knows revenge solves nothing, but at least he’ll get some satisfaction, and somehow, knowing that the people who did bad things to you are there no more, may make you feel just a bit safer.

Despite being one of the most sensible brothers, he will still search to do more and more human psychology research, and with your help and insight, will try to help you recover, even a tiny bit, and will be there every step of the way as you are healing, never letting go of your hand.

- - -

Mammon

Okay, lemme tell you straight -

While Mammon is the most in-touch with his emotional side, he will suffer the most hearing that you, his most beloved person alive, had to go through such terrible things in your life.

You were just a small, frail human, you barely lived, compared to him, so why did you have to go through such trauma?!

He would outright cry, like anime waterfalls, and would cling on you, rocking with you back and forth, but he wasn’t sure if he was trying to comfort you, or himself, at that point, since he was hurting so much.

His brain would stop for a little while, and he would remember all the shit he got from Maddi, and sometimes, even the bad things that he accepts from his brothers, as a way to keep them happy, but ultimately, he would manage to get to the point where he tries to find ways to ease your soul of your burdens and traumas.

He will be even clingier than before, will spoil you even more, will make sure NOBODY yells around you, does moves too abruptly to scare you off, and basically, will thread carefully every step of the way to prevent anything from being a potential trigger.

Will literally kill Asmo if he tries to hug you without consent, or if he tries to flirt or make advances towards you, and while he won’t say why, he’ll just throw Asmo away and drag you away, to a safer place - Unless you reassure him that his younger brother isn’t a trigger or a threat in your eyes.

Poor Mammon will be a bit paranoid and will go overboard with a lot of things, threating you like a frail snowdrop, and it isn’t until you tell him that you won’t break from little things like this, that he can afford to take it a bit easier than before.

But don’t forget that he will even yell and fight Lucifer if he dares get mad at you for whatever reason, or use his demon form or powers around you.

And the same goes for the Avatar of Wrath, or Gluttony, when he’s dangerously hungry.

Also, he will kill Belphie if he attempts to kill you.

- - -

Satan

Satan.exe stopped working.

I mean, how is he supposed to react anyway?

His most precious person tells him that they have been mistreat, and he’s supposed to stay...Calm?

That’s impossible.

He will literally get up and leave without a word, will leash out his rage in a place where you couldn’t possible go, and when he’s finally done, will return to you as if nothing happened, albeit, with the necessary apologies for leaving like that, and returning with a lot of sweets, comfort food, flowers and anything that he knows you love and would bring a smile on your face.

Despite how much he reads, he only knows things in theory, and needs your guidance to apply things practically because, as he knows very well, every person is different, and different things work for different people.

With you, and around you, he will be the calmest specimen possible known to this realm, and the others, because he knows his rage could be a horrible trigger for you, and the last thing he wants is for you to be afraid of him, or, Heaven forbid, cry because of his mistakes.

Satan will make sure to check on you at all times, either f2f or via texts, and when you’re going out somewhere, or just chilling together, he will hold your wrist.

He will say he thinks you have very cute and delicate hands, but really, he subtly checks for your pulse to see if you have any anxiety spikes or anything that would be proof that something is bothering you in any way, shape or form.

As everyone knows, Satan is very attentive about literally everything, and incredibly detail-oriented, so he will over-analyse anything and come up with his own conclusions, and once he’s used to understanding your behaviour, he will automatically go and solve anything in your place, and it will shock you, ‘cause he’s so on point?? How did he even guess??

He won’t treat you any differently, considering that he’s always been sweet and polite with you, but will definitely criticise his brothers or other strangers if they behave in a way that may be triggering...Or hell, maybe annoying, ‘cause it gives him a motive to get away from nuisances who won’t stop talking.

Apart from his inferiority complex, he never received any kind of abuse, so he isn’t familiar with the feeling, nor can he claim to fully comprehend or sympathise with what you’re going through, however, he understands logically, and knowing how much it hurts you even know, and how it still affects you long-term, he is aware that he is unable to let you brave this storm alone.

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Imagine the gang realising Zuko has a crush on you and Toph and Sokka deciding to exploit Zuko’s feelings for their own gain.

The group found out Zuko liked you when he was attacking Aang. Upon ditching training to have a beach day Zuko was furious and decide to show Aang this wasn’t a wise decision by attacking him with fire. Then Zuko found out you weren’t even invading the fire nation until after the eclipse and was even more furious...until you appeared.

You’d been inside when Zuko started attacking Aang so were late to the conversation and just saw a very angry looking Zuko. You dropped what you were holding seeing Zuko yelling and rushed forwards "what’s wrong? Why are you angry again?". "Zuko just found out our invasion plans or lack there of" Sokka explained. Zuko was still glaring at them and hadn’t looked up at you. "Zuko i’m so sorry" you said stepping infront of the others and blocking them from his view "it was my idea i should’ve told you, if you’re going to yell at anyone it should be me". You readied yourself for a tirade of angry fire boy but instead Zuko dragged his eyes to you and sighed. "No". "No?" Sokka asked and Zuko twitched but kept his eyes on you. "I understand you were just trying to do what’s best for Aang, you’re thoughtful like that" and walked away to go sulk. You frowned and so did the others. "Ow so he can yell at us but when y/n literally tells him to he doesn’t?" Toph asked "how is that fair?". Sokka narrowed his eyes "it isn’t and it doesn’t make sense....". Sokka watched Zuko and then looked at you, an idea beginning to form in his head.

An hour later

Sokka decided to test his new theory right away and knocked on Zuko’s door. “What is it?” Zuko snapped and Sokka grinned. "Ow nothing just dinners ready and you should probably know Katara broke your tea set" Sokka shrugged and Zuko jumped up "what that was my uncle’s!". "Relax she can buy you a new one!". "It was an antique so she can’t" Zuko pouted and Sokka rolled his eyes "okay okay calm down i’ll go get her so you can yell at her...ow sorry did i say Katara? I meant y/n". "Y/n?" Zuko asked and Sokka nodded "yeah it was y/n who broke it". Zuko looked away and coughed "well i guess it was just an accident". Sokka smirked his theory proven, Zuko liked you. Sokka fully intended to use this to his advantage.

The next day

Sokka learnt that if he hung around you Zuko seemed to lose the ability to be angry and so all day Sokka tested how much this arrangement worked and it was infuriating Zuko endlessly. Sokka was in the kitchen when Zuko realised he hadn’t tidied his mess in the living room like he’s promised and felt his anger rising as he searched for the water tribesman.

“Sokka you haven’t tidied the living room like you said you would” Zuko glared slamming the kitchen door open upon hearing Sokka’s voice inside. He jumped to see you there aswell as Sokka but decided to ignore you and just focus on Sokka. “Ow sorry I was just sat chatting with y/n and lost track of time, you can really get lost in her eyes...but I’m sure you know that” Sokka grinned. Zuko’s frown lessened and a small blush appeared on his cheeks. “Sokka i’m so sorry I probably kept you here all day!” you said missing the last part of his comment to Zuko “Sorry Zuko, Sokka was helping me make dinner but it’s sorted now, I can help you tidy the living room if you want?”. Zuko looked down “no it’s okay, you shouldn’t have to do that it’s Sokka’s job”. “I don’t mind” you smiled “plus Sokka did most of the cooking so it’s only fair”. You left the room with a smile to them both and the door closed. Sokka was laughing to himself at how well his plan had been working when suddenly Zuko yanked him by his collar up against a wall. “What are you doing” he snapped “don’t think i haven’t noticed you hanging around y/n like a leech”. Sokka gupled “I don’t know what you’re talking about”. “You know exactly what I mean! You hang around her so she can protect you from me and it’s pathetic”. Sokka smirked at Zuko’s words and dusted the firebenders hands off his neck “and why do you think I go to y/n for protection huh? If I wanted physical protection from you why wouldn’t I go to Aang or Katara? So why do you think I go to Y/n for you huh Zuko?”. Zuko blushed and Sokka laughed “that’s right I know your secret but don’t worry I won’t tell her...as long as you take up my share of the chores”. Zuko glared and went to step towards Sokka making Sokka yelp “y/n!” he yelled. You appeared in the doorway worried about Sokka “are you okay?”. “Yeah I was just wondering if you needed any help?”. You nodded “that’d be great Sokka thanks!”. Sokka smirked as Zuko moved to let him pass and Sokka patted his shoulder “nice deal we’ve got here”.

3 days later

Zuko was angry again.  He’d been angry a lot lately, Sokka had been deadly serious about their deal and had used it to get out of all sorts of things but it had gone too far. This time Toph and Sokka had snuck into a fire nation event on the island that could’ve had important people present. They easily could’ve been caught and given away the gang’s position but they didn’t care or see the problem with their actions. They just saw it as a fun prank and Zuko was not pleased.

You understood why Zuko was angry, it was a very reckless thing to do but you also hated seeing anyone angry at anyone else so sympathised with Toph and Sokka. Zuko had been pouting since he’d heard what they’d done and had been angrily firebending in the yard since. You figured Toph and Sokka should try talking to him but they had other ideas. “So maybe if you just apologised....” you started when Sokka cut you off.  "That sounds great y/n but I think you should go tell him we’re sorry" Sokka said nudging you forwards and you frowned. "Me! Why do i have to take the yelling?". "You're the eldest" Toph argued and you scoffed "so! That doesn’t mean i deserve to get fire bended by the prince of the fire nation!". “Pleaseeee, we all know Zuko wouldn’t do that to you of all people" Toph replied and you stared at her in shock. “What does that mean?”. “Ow come on y/n” Sokka grinned “you know Zuko has a soft spot for you! Out of all of us he'll be most receptive to you, just bat your eyes at him and he'll be butter". You blushed bright red and pushed Sokka away lightly "i’m not flirting with Zuko just to help you". "What’s your issue with it now" Toph cried "all you do is flirt with each other! We’re actually helping you by giving you an excuse to". "I don’t flirt with Zuko" you stammered “why would I? I don’t have a crush on him”. Toph raised an eyebrow, an unimpressed look on her face "y/n you know i can tell from your heart beat when you’re lying right?". You swallowed "i’m not lying...I mean he’s attractive but I don’t...I don’t like Zuko that way". "Yes you do, we all know you like Zuko so just make like a mountain and go!" Toph said pushing you forwards. "Make like a mountain? Toph mountains don’t move". "Well i’m blind what would i know? Now go talk to him!". You sighed as Toph and Sokka left and you approached Zuko. He was angrily kicking fire at a rock and you supposed his temper should’ve scared you but it didn’t. You’d said you were worried how Zuko would react to Toph and Sokka but you weren’t, you knew deep down he wasn’t cruel or mean and could tell that the first time you’d met him. You trusted him and so approached without worry. "Don’t even try explaining what they did" Zuko said not even turning around. You paused plan exposed so tried denial "i wasn’t". "Ow please" Zuko said rolling his eyes "Sokka thinks he’s so clever sending you to talk to me but even you can’t save him from me". That made you frown “Zuko....". "No y/n" Zuko said sternly but not harshly "please let me be angry at them, don’t try and change my mind". You frowned but nodded "fine but if Sokka asks i tried okay?". Zuko nodded "of course". You smiled at Zuko slightly before realising it had gotten awkward, with what Sokka and Toph said fresh in your mind you found it hard to look at Zuko in the eye. "I’ll leave you to firebend" you said quickly leaving.

2 days later Zuko was still refusing to speak when Toph and Sokka were in the same room as him. He’d answer Katara’s basic questions and talk to you but that was it. You were honestly sick of being the go between but didn’t see a way around it. You guessed Zuko’s anger would just have to ease on it’s own but wow could that boy hold a grudge. You didn’t think you could possibly change that but Katara seemed to think you could.

That night after dinner Katara caught you in the kitchen.  "Y/n" she said closing the door so you were alone "i know this might be really awkward but it’s the only way i can think to resolve this". "Resolve what?" you asked and she gestured to the living room where Sokka, Toph and Zuko were sat together in silence. "I’ve tried that Katara! Zuko can’t be budged on this". Katara frowned "something tells me if you really tried there’s no way Zuko would still be icing them out". "What does that mean?" you asked confused and Katara smirked "well y/n...you’re not oblivious to how he is with you right? I mean Toph’s the blind one not you". You blushed rolling your eyes "not you too...". "Yes me too!" Katara smiled "he likes you y/n and i’m not even asking you to do this for Sokka and Toph, but for Zuko. He’s been miserable these past few days! As dramatic as he is i don’t think he enjoys being the angry guy, i think even he’s sick of it but he can’t back down...not without a reason". Katara looked at you pointedly and you rolled your eyes blushing “I’ll think about it okay”. “Thanks y/n, also it’s totally obvious you like him too by the way”. “You’re not helping your case” you said raising an eyebrow and Katara laughed “sorry I just couldn’t resist” and left you alone with your thoughts.

After the conversation with Katara you decided to talk to Zuko, you didn’t like seeing him sad and thought if you could change that you should try. So when Zuko went out into the yard for some late night training you followed him. You expected him to not want to listen to what you had to say so prepared for resistance and hyped yourself up to make him listen. "Zuko" you said sternly once you reached him "I need to talk to you about Toph and Sokka, and you will stay here and listen to what i have to say". Zuko looked at you and you wondered what he was going to do. He could easily just barge right past you or storm away but instead he sighed and sat down. "Go on" he said gesturing for you to talk and you smiled suprised before going back to being serious.

"So i think you should stop this" you said simply "you must be sick of it too by now and you’ve punished Toph and Sokka long enough". Zuko’s face told you he didn’t agree and you sighed. "I know you’re not someone who wants to hold grudges Zuko, the fact you’re here proves that! Aang’s beaten you numerous times, Katara’s thrown you around with water more times that I can count and I’ve....I did attack you a few times too...” you trailed off awkwardly “but you forgave us for all that now”. “Well that was different” Zuko shurgged “I provoked all those fights”. You shrugged “yeah but it still couldn’t have been easy to go from seeing us as enemies to trusting us. It showed a lot about your character that you were able to. It showed you’re not mean or unfeeling zuko, i know you’re not" you smiled at him. Zuko’s facial expression seemed frozen and you couldn’t read if this was working or not. He looked away from you suddenly "that’s not why i didn’t hold a grudge, you don’t know me as well as you think you do". You frowned, crushed at Zuko’s reply and were lost on where to go next when Zuko carried on.

"I didn’t hold grudges with the fights against Aang and Katara because they were justified, they were only defending themsleves. I joined you all because I knew it was my destiny not because I’d achieved enlightenment or anything and in case you haven’t noticed I still get angry at them all easily. As for the stuff you did...you only attacked me as a last resort and I could tell you hated doing it even for defence, that much was obvious even when we were on different sides” Zuko said softly “I knew you were too kind to have actually wanted to hurt me...and i think that’s the reason I can’t stay mad at you...i don’t know what it is but i felt like I could trust you from the start and i still do, you’re one of the only people i do" Zuko finished meeting your eye "so you see i am someone who holds grudges i just can’t against you". You stared at him confused what to reply or how to interpret what he said. "Y/n?" Zuko asked as the silence stretched and you frowned shaking yourself out of your head "yeah?". "I just said all that and you go quiet, did i say something wrong?". "No" you smiled "that’s just really sweet". Zuko sighed "i knew i shouldn’t have said anything" he frowned. You paused seeing him get angry "Zuko what’s wrong?". "What’s wrong? I just told you i liked you and have for ages and you just say that’s nice! I’m an idiot for expecting anything different" he sighed. "Wait that was what that was?" you asked "when you said you liked me you meant it as....". "Yes" zuko said utterly embarassed by the whole situation now. "Ow" you said awkwardly "aw Zuko that's...". "If you say sweet i swear to god..." Zuko started but you smirked rolling your eyes "no you idiot, i was going to say that’s convenient because i have feelings for you too". "You do?" Zuko asked and you nodded "in case the others haven’t made it pretty obvious" you smiled. Zuko nodded blushing "well they talked but i didn’t take it seriously". "Well you should’ve" you smiled coming to stand infront of him "then maybe this would've happened sooner". Zuko assumed you just meant this in general but as you leant into him he realise he was pleasantly mistaken.

The gang’s POV

Toph, Sokka and Katara had watched your converastion from the window and while Katara awed as you kissed Zuko, Toph and Sokka were not so impressed. "Do you think if she'd just have kissed him days ago we could've avoided all of this?" Toph asked and Sokka nodded. "yes toph i think we could’ve, it’s a shame y/n was so selfish". "Selfish?" Katara cried "Sokka y/n didn’t kiss him to help you, she’s liked Zuko for ages". "Yeah but it’s just a bit annoying she chose now to tell him and not when it was convenient for us all". Katara rolled her eyes at Sokka and looked back to where you and Zuko were stood, hands entwined, standing close together and smiling at one another as you spoke softly. “Well I personally think this was perfect timing” she smiled.

[angellbarnes]

Forgotten Love - part six: no longer one of them

chapter summary: the truth will set you free, if it doesn't kill you first. The team interrogates you and your past.

pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

words: 2.3k

warnings: language, mentions of torture, needles

A/N: sorry it's been a while but finally got around to finishing this chapter. Pls like, comment and reblog as always! :)🤍

series masterlist

You look around the blank, boxy room. Then down at your hands, where your wrists are chained to a table. Then down at your ankles, where they are chained to the chair you’re sitting on. It’s been at least thirty minutes since you were left in here by yourself, struggling in your restraints. Your breathing becomes rugged and you can’t hold down the panic rising within, no matter how hard you try. Even closing your eyes, all you see are them. In a sudden rush of emotion you manage to yank yourself free from each chain and stand, pushing the chair from behind you and sending flying back, hitting the wall and crashing to the floor. You look up to the wall opposite, noticing your disheveled reflection in the mirror, fists balled up tight. A one-way mirror, no doubt.

“No, no, no, no, no.” You repeat to yourself. Your hands fly to your hair, raking through it and grabbing while your chest heaves and your head spins. Steadying yourself with the table for a moment to calm yourself as best you can. You tread carefully towards the door but stop in your tracks, physically frozen in place as you try and place how many footsteps are heading towards you now.

There are seven of them. Three, you notice, stay at the door whilst the others carry on, presumably to whatever room is behind that mirror.

The door opens.

“What in the-” Fury begins, seeing you standing before him and noticing the mess you’d left. “Let me see your hands.” He brings up a gun that seems to glare straight at you, as if to say there’s no getting out of this. So, you show your hands.

Tony and Nat are behind him and Natasha walks to the chair that is on its side, picks it up and sets it back down at the table, then motions stoically for you to sit back down.

“Take a seat. We’re gonna be here for a while. And before you try anything stupid, don’t.” Fury states. You sit back down and suddenly notice the dryness of your mouth and throat.

The three of them now stand before you, looming over like the shadows of your past.

“There’s a lot to unpack here, so I suggest we start with whatever the hell just happened upstairs.” Tony begins. His face is forbidding, as are the others, and his arms are crossed.

You remain silent.

“This is the part where you start talking.” Your gaze shifts to meet a single, harsh eye. God knows he only needs one to get the job done.

“I-”

“What Barnes said. Was it true? Did you help torture him as the Winter Soldier?” Natasha’s voice is demanding, needing.

“No.” You say, finally mustering up a word. “Well, yes. No and yes.”

“What do you mean no and yes?” Fury leans forward on the table.

“Not exactly.”

“Cut the crap. Did you, at any point, help HYDRA in torturing Bucky?”

Silence. Then,

“Yes.” It came out as a broken whisper.

Behind the glass, Bucky takes in a sharp breath. Deep down he knew it was true, but that didn’t stop him from wanting it not to be.

Someone begins walking towards the door from the opposite room. Steve enters and switches out with Tony. Steve looks more disappointed than anything, which makes your heart ache more.

“Why? Why were you with them?”

“Steve-”

“Just answer the question.” Steve closes his eyes in exasperation, letting his head fall forward. He can barely look at you.

“I was alone, back when I joined.” You begin. “At the time I was sheltering in an abandoned warehouse that was half blown to pieces. They found me. I was vulnerable and they knew it. So they took me in, fed me, gave me a roof over my head, a proper one. I thought they were good people, at first.” You’re looking down at your lap as you speak, not wanting to risk looking anyone in the eye.

“And how do we know this isn’t some bullshit story you’ve made up to get us to sympathise with you?” Nat chimes in, brows knit together by the thread of betrayal.

“For all we know you could still be one of them. Feeding everything back to them since you got here. Is that what you’ve been doing? Gaining our trust in order to have inside information? This whole goddamn time.” Steve is angry. More than you’ve seen him before. But it’s not the kind of anger that him and Tony might share when the other gets on their nerves, no. This anger is the one that comes from deep within you, that only shows when you’ve been stabbed deep enough in the back for it to come seeping out all crimson red.

“No, it’s not like that. I’m done with HYDRA, I promise.”

“Well that promise doesn’t mean much to us.” Fury comments.

“I know. But it’s all I have.”

Fury holds his fingers up to his ear. “Hill, bring it in.” A moment after Fury’s request she is heading round and into the room. She passes him a folded piece of paper.

“This,” he begins to unfold it. “was surprisingly easy to find. Inside a book? Really?” He leans onto the table and slides the paper forwards. You are now face to face with yourself; the file page you'd retrieved from the first mission. You rub your hands together, as if hoping for a genie to appear so you could wish for this to have never happened.

“That’s not me. Well, it is me. But it’s not who I am. The person you’ve come to know since I joined this team is the real me. I’m not that person.” You look back down at the photograph of your deadened self. “Anymore.”

“Care to explain?” Nat asks.

“After a while with HYDRA, I realised that some others from the rooms near me were being taken somewhere else. I didn’t know where, though; they wouldn’t tell us. Eventually I was the only one left, and none of the others had come back yet.” Your throat is dryer than ever. “They took me to a room. A dark one. And they sat me in a chair. Strapped me down. I could hear some screams from neighbouring rooms but they dismissed it, said people were hurt and they were treating them. They were lying, of course, but at the time I was naive enough to believe them. They stuck a needle in my arm and released an acidically blue liquid into my bloodstream. At first it was excruciating. It felt as though someone was searing my veins as it moved from my arm and into my chest, then up my neck and down my torso. Then it was everywhere. My mind was so clouded with pain, until it just… stopped. I felt numb. And after that, HYDRA turned me into their own personal weapon. Because I was their success. I was the one who survived. They had used a different serum on all twelve of us, trying to find one that worked. And it finally did. At first I felt special to have been the one that survived. Proud, even. But soon it turned into something more sinister, and I realised how lucky the others were…”

The silence in the room is deafening. To a point where you have to start shuffling in your seat just to rid it. It’s hard to gage anyone’s emotions at this point. Natasha leaves, silently, without glancing back. Though she doesn’t head towards the others behind the mirror, she walks away in the opposite direction. Your heart hangs heavy in your chest with the thought of having hurt her this much.

“So, you’re telling me, the serum we found on that mission last week hasn’t just been created? They’d already figured it out and used it on you?” Steve’s question is spoken as more of a statement, everyone already knowing the answer.

“Yes.” You whisper.

“And that’s where these powers came from? The serum?”

“Yes.”

“Another supersoldier. ‘Cause we don’t have enough of those.” Fury scoffs. “And why do they always have to come from HYDRA?”

“The serum made you stronger and faster. But it doesn’t explain your extra power. Where did that come from?” Steve interrogates.

“The serum as well.” Your voice is weak and strained by guilt as you speak. “When they were recreating it they also… experimented with it. Once they knew they perfected the original serum they started tampering with additional elements and quantities. It wasn’t until me when one of them worked. The serum they’d created managed to grip on to certain sensory nerves and cells and increased the sensitivity, or… something about exteroreceptors, maybe? I can’t exactly remember the science of it all-”

“So, just like that, we’re supposed to trust you?” Steve cuts you off, his vigilant tone as unnerving as his stare.

“Send Barnes in.” Fury motions to agent Hill, who exits the room, only to return with him: the one person you thought could get you out of this situation.

Bucky keeps his head down, making sure to avoid any eye contact. You desperately want to yell the truth at everyone - the whole truth - but you know that wouldn’t be wise. Especially since they’re already sceptical of everything that’s coming from your deceiving lips. They would never believe that. He would never believe it.

Not until he remembers it all.

“Bucky, do you know if this is the truth?” Hill cautiously asks him.

“No.”

“No, you don’t know, or no, it isn’t the truth?” Fury inquires.

“No, I don’t know.” He states, finally looking up and meeting your gaze. You can see the hurt in his eyes. It’s evident that these newly found memories haven’t treated him well. Especially since he’d started to take a liking to you, which he never let be known. He didn’t know what to make of it when he began to feel a strange, but strong, pull towards you. As if there was some invisible string that was pulling, connecting, the two of you together.

It frayed and snapped as soon as he remembered.

But knowing that he’d felt it in the first place makes his head hurt all the more.

“So, number 12, what is your real name?” Fury looks straight into your eyes, almost burning through your skull with his intensity.

“And don’t even think about lying to us again.” Steve snarls. You hesitate for a moment, drawing heavy breaths.

“My real name- my real name is Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Let’s put it to the test, shall we?” Fury proposes.

A few moments later, you’re being hooked up to a lie detector by Bruce. He then sits diagonal to you with the polygraph machine in front of him.

“We’re set.” He states.

“Perfect. Let’s get started, shall we?” Tony is now back in the room. A full house.

They don’t hesitate with the questions, getting straight into it, yes or no.

“Before you joined this team, were you a HYDRA agent?” Hill begins with. There is no way for you to escape this, no stopping the rollercoaster from plunging down as you reach the top.

“Yes.”

“An assassin?”

“Yes.”

“Do you still work for them?” Steve’s turn.

“No.”

“Do you still associate yourself with them in any way?”

“No.”

“Are you in contact with them?” Tony asks.

“No.”

“Do you plan on going back to them? Becoming one of them again?” Steve begins again.

“No.” You answer through gritted teeth now.

“Bruce?” Fury chimes in, and all heads turn to him, as he reads the coloured lines on the paper.

“She’s telling the truth so far.” He confirms.

The questions, the interrogating, it continues for several more minutes. Questions like: Are you loyal to this team? Are you really here to make good of your past? Is that life with HYDRA over for good?

Yes, yes, and yes.

“Did you assist in the torture of a Seargent James Barnes whilst you were a part of HYDRA?” Fury reads from a sheet, making sure to leave no stone unturned. A stone that it feels as if he just threw at your stomach. You force your eyes upwards and to Bucky’s, brimming with sadness.

“Yes.” Your answer feels so sour against your tongue. You pry your eyes away and they fall to the floor once more.

“All true.” Bruce confirms once more.

“But-”

“Last question.” Fury walks forward. “How did you manage to get through our system, without us finding any trace of who you really are?” He speaks slowly, deeply, sounding like he has gravel in his throat.

“The old me was classed as dead. I had nothing to my name, not even a life. And HYDRA didn’t make it their first priority to give me one. So, technically I was no one. It wasn’t that hard to create a completely new person. A clean slate, if you will.”

Everyone’s faces are stern, yet utterly mindfucked. No one knows what to think. Fury stands tall and motions his head to the door whilst looking at the others. Everyone exits the room in a disappointed silence.

Bucky is the last to leave. He stands, with his arms crossed and brows furrowed, directly in front of where you sit. The prolonged eye-contact is laced with an unknown, but oddly familiar,  tension.

“Bucky, I-” As soon as you begin to speak he follows after the others and shuts and locks the door behind him.

Once again, you’re left with just yourself in the vacant room, besides the company of the chair, table and your infinite, anxiety-ridden thoughts of what the hell is going to happen to you now.

•••

Taglist:

@buckysjuicyplums @901seconds @walkwithfluffyangels @infernal-fire @ohashley101 @mrs-fanfiction-2001 @buckys2thicc @freigeistundanderes

[thedeviljudges]

So sorry thought I was done but there's more! (I've really enjoyed your analyses.) Thinking bout YH possibly being involved in SH's death and reasons he could be: callback to ep 8 convo bout doing whatever it takes, plot twist for sake of it, vindicate SH's anti-Yohan agenda, make audience suffer. Reasons he SHOULDN'T be: character development (see same convo!) - it would undo all his progress, everything he said about letting Gaon make his own choice, Elijah would never forgive him, etc. (1/2)

It should be evident to YH from Gaon's actions/words in this ep that he's still on side re. fighting the corrupt world - there's no pressing need to get rid of SH to get him back on track. Also YH being guilty would vindicate Min Jung-ho's anti-YH agenda, and so far I don't feel the show has invited the audience to sympathise/agree with him so that would be a weird turn around! Plus if SH had found out something bout YH wouldn't she have tried to tell Gaon in her last moments?? ...here's hoping!

Ahhh, thank you!!! I’m glad someone enjoys my annoying posts about this show, lmao. It’s just so much fun and hard not to constantly think about it when you’re always finding new little things.

And I think all of your points are very true, and I totally agree. I think the scene in episode 12 where they “break up” was enough for Yohan to realize that what he said and what he continued saying drove Gaon away. Gaon’s confession about Soohyun being his world and realizing that Gaon chose her over him was already reasonable and logical enough for him to understand that if Yohan did anything to her, Gaon wouldn’t be on his side. Gaon would go after Yohan, even without a plan - I firmly believe that.

Gaon rushed to the hospital and checked up on her when she got heart, for example. Him and Yohan fought over the possibility of Yohan attacking her, and Gaon found out it wasn’t him and apologized for making the assumption - that Yohan had no need to actually go after her. On top of that, Gaon even admitted to the professor while he was in the hospital that Yohan wouldn’t have attacked him, and yet he got mad at Gaon for taking Yohan’s side again.

And the thing with Soohyun’s attack - that would’ve been a great time for Yohan to go after her if needed because at that point, him and Gaon were still on shaky ground in their relationship. Yohan didn’t understand his own feelings for Gaon, and he wasn’t at the point of considering other people and/or changing is ways (to an extent).

I’ve also posted previously about how Soohyun and the professor use confirmation bias to convict Yohan of things he hasn’t done - and this is just another example of the professor pointing fingers at Yohan to justify how wrong he is without seeing the bigger picture. That sounds way more in line with the professor and even with Yohan’s characterization of being misunderstood by literally everyone.

You’re very right in that the show hasn’t done anything to invoke sympathy for the professor’s side of the argument. In fact, he takes the side of the government if we’re going to compare him. He doesn’t even see the clues and make the connections between the president and his lackey’s, which truth be told, is right in front of his face - even Gaon pointed that out to Jinjoo because it’s right there. How would the professor not have seen Choongsik if Jinjoo has seen him, for example. I don’t remember if they publicly announced Choongsik leading the virus protection, but Gaon made it sound like they had, which again means the professor simply wasn’t paying attention, and I wonder why that is.... people just love Yohan, lmao.

To that, we can also note Gaon’s pointed statement during their meet up when Gaon tells the professor how much he failed in his position of power. “You should’ve done better. If people like you did better… If you did better as a chief justice, people wouldn’t need to do this. If only the people who are in charge of justice did their jobs well.” And yet he only has eyes for Yohan, still. Patterns!!!!

You also make a very, very valid point I hadn’t considered about Soohyun trying to tell him about Yohan in her last moments. That’s a very interesting thing to consider because normally when death like this happens, the character dying is always trying to get something important out, and this time, it’s just a play on Soohyun’s constant confession when Gaon cries.

I think for me personally, my biggest thing is that if they truly make Yohan the villain here, or do anything to seriously fuck up, then what lesson or point will that make? What profound notion will the show end on after everything we’ve been through because to me, the way the show is right now, it's set us all up to believe that Yohan is not the monster he’s made himself look like. Would they do that to his character for shock value? Because at that point, I feel like that’d be the only reason they’d do it - like, what else would be that justification of him going after bad people if he himself is that bad, too?

Anyway, I can talk myself in circles here. Cheers to waiting just a few more hours to find out. I just want to have hope the writers did the right thing, but we’ll see!!