#but the average listener is 30

[wiki-howell]

guess who managed to mention dnp in his a level media exam 🔥🔥

[proserpine-in-phases]

Ah yes, 55 degrees in Minnesota. In January. Clearly a sign of a healthy climate and not a sign of climate change at all. Yes indeed this reminds me of the snowy Januarys of my youth, when temps above 30 were noteworthy fucking aberrations of weather

[seekingthestars]

woozi released this song 30 days ago, i have a problem

[dreamsy990]

love how free spotify used to be like "heres two ads and now heres 30 mintues of song" and now its "heres five ads and one (1) song". love how i cant play the one song i want. love how i would probably be better off using any other service but the desktop version is good enough that ill put up with the terrible mobile version that barely qualifies as a music service.

[rivaiin]

i finally sold my old tablet that i didnt use anymore and got 85€ for it so guess who has money to get armored core now. hehe

[fionnaskyborn]

The results are in: I need to replay the entirety of Halo

[agallimaufryofoddments]

Incidentally, I resent the fact that most web traffic comes from mobiles in this day and age.

Incidentally, I also resent Tumblr Live being A Thing. The degradation of the mass mind continues.

[awesomeifidosaysomyself]

so for those who don't know, for the past seven months, i listened to my "liked songs" playlist on spotify in alphabetical order (a little neurotic, i know). through my listening, it slimmed from 5,643 songs to 5,460.

if i were smart, i would've done some sort of statistic analysis with it. alas, i am not a smart man so all I have to report is

it may have taken me seven months, but on this day, june 30, in the year of our lord 2023, at the wee hour of 1:36 in the morning, i finally finished listening to every song i've liked on spotify in the five years i've had this account

[hoardlikegoldenirises]

a very scientific scale diagram of the needle on the space needle

[corrodedbisexual]

Eddie is constantly bouncing between jobs and rage quitting every 6 months on average. Steve, however, somehow gets lucky with a job in computer sales. With the industry in a booming rise, he makes a pretty decent income to support them both whenever Eddie's out of a job. Best part is, even though his charming voice and smile certainly help make sales, he doesn't feel like he's one of those scammers pushing all kinds of crap people don't need. Computers are objectively useful.

This goes on until their mid 30s and Steve saves up enough to open his own small tech store. He very hesitantly starts involving his recently unemployed (again) boyfriend in some mundane tasks (upon Eddie's own initiative saying he wants to help) and quickly learns that all of Eddie's previous bosses were morons. Eddie's meticulous and a quick learner with every single task. All he needs is not to have a boss who's a total jackass to him, and a bit of freedom to just... be himself.

Eddie does everything with mild enthusiasm; mild, because it's still work, ugh; enthusiasm, because it's his BOYFRIEND finally being free to do his own thing instead of working for The Man, woohoo, go Stevie! Eddie doesn't need to wear a stupid uniform or put his hair up, can play music in his headphones doing inventory, answers the phones in his special flirty manner, and Steve doesn't have a problem with any of that. He actually listens to Eddie's bitching and recognizes the helpful suggestions to improve things in the middle of all that, instead of telling him to shut up and do his damn job.

Working together can often be the perfect storm to ruin a relationship, but despite becoming Eddie's de-facto boss, Steve never treats him differently. It's never orders, always "Eddie can you [do this and that]?". It's soft smiles and a quiet "thanks, babe", and if no one's around, a kiss on Eddie's cheek when he gets something done. It's a calm explanation instead of yelling if he messes up.

Steve hands Eddie a handful of cash at the end of each week, despite Eddie's comments that it's a bit ridiculous to pay him at all, since he'd been practically living out of Steve's pocket for months at a time, and Steve has been single-handedly paying the rent for their joint apartment. Steve insists though, and Eddie has to admit that it's nice to always have cash in his pocket now.

Eddie learns more and more of everything that's needed to run the store, to the point that he spends a week handling everything alone when Steve's sick with the flu, but it's still a shock when several months later Steve shows him the paperwork in which he writes Eddie in as full partner. Eddie tries to protest, but Steve won't have it; he says he never could have survived all these months of start-up chaos without Eddie, and he fully deserves this. He's been giving Eddie half the store profits for months anyway, time to just make it official.

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

Love love love outgrowing music

[azullumi]

JESUS, TAKE THE WHEEL ?!

premise — to put it simply, hsr men driving. characters — boothill, sunday, aventurine, veritas ratio, jing yuan, and blade content tags — small mentions of reader, probably fluff, not proofread, i don't know how to tag this please | wc: 0.6k ; headcanons

note from me — this idea was brought to me after nearly crashing and getting multiple heart attacks while my dad was driving

BOOTHILL, races with the wind that it feels like you left your soul somewhere in the road—literally a wild spirit who seems to enjoy the feeling of the breeze on his skin. He probably got you lost one time too, or maybe twice, or thrice. He just loves fast cars and faster chases, likes the thrill of it (much to your dismay if you’re a cautious person). He’s probably cussed someone out for cutting him off his lane which led to him nearly crashing when he pressed the brakes suddenly. Despite his reckless driving habits, his quick thinking and reflexes keeps him out of harm.

SUNDAY, perfect law-abiding citizen—follows the traffic rules, doesn’t go past the speed limit, never crashes, never gets pulled over, you’re in the safest hands and you can trust the entirety of your life on him. You have a good road trip, a great driver, and someone who you can easily talk to. It’s perfect. He probably has a playlist ready with the most of it being his sister’s songs, playing and listening to it as he drives, often humming along with the melody.

AVENTURINE, drives like there’s no tomorrow when he’s alone but drives like the most responsible and careful driver whenever there’s someone with him in the car. He likes driving during the night despite the risk of it (and that’s honestly the point); he does love the quiet streets and the solitude he gets, taking long drives to often clear his mind or just drive somewhere where he wants to be, often taking the scenic route. There are times that he drives in complete silence, deep in thought, and taking random turns.

VERITAS RATIO, just your normal and average sane driver. Literally it’s all just normal with him that it feels so wrong. He’s quite the careful driver but is easily annoyed when someone cuts off his lane and you’ll have to deal with a rambling doctor that calls people who have no driving etiquettes foolish and reckless. He strictly follows the rules of the road, but doesn’t hesitate in voicing out his frustrations at those who don’t. Other than that, everything is fine. He rarely listens to music, however, opting to listen to educational podcasts or the radio instead—he says it helps in keeping him focused.

JING YUAN, bold of you to even assume he’s driving; he doesn’t drive, or he rarely does. He’s a passenger princess, a shotgun queen, the backseat sleeper,—preferring to sleep on his seat than focus his eyes on the road. If he ever drives, however, it’s slow and careful. He’ll reason that there’s nothing to rush for and that you all have the time in the world, and you don’t know if you’re supposed to accept his reasoning, especially when you’re going to be late. The chance of him falling asleep while driving is higher than the chance of arriving at your destination early (a 10-minute drive easily becomes a 30-minute one and no, it’s not because of the traffic).

BLADE, believe it or not but he’s, if not the most, but one of the trusted drivers. While he does go past the speed limit sometimes and maybe he does have to swerve the car that you’ll fly off your seat (if not without your seatbelt) ever so often, you never die while he’s the one on the driver seat—thankfully. Surprisingly, he does wear his seatbelt and even urges you to wear yours (even if he didn’t, you’ll have to because you have nothing else to hold on to). The most silent car ride to ever exist though as he’ll only speak when you’ll ask him something, otherwise you’re left on your own with a conversation in the wind. Nevertheless, you’ll arrive at your destination in one piece. Not until the mara strikes.

FELIIII, a lovely mention to the beautiful and lovely @dr-felitas !! i'm getting back to writing now since i'm back from vacation (which means i can do anything and everything i want, but not including ghosting 🔥) ANYWAYS i would like to say thank you for always being patient with me and my replies ,, like my bad g 🙏 i really appreciate your presence in my life and your constant understanding, and i know i already told you this but you're a very warm and comforting person and i only hope for the best things to come in your life (i know love and beauty exists because you exist and you're full of it). i will support you in each and every one of your decisions, despite how bad or stupid it can be. don't let anything hold you back boo, never listen to your haters or your opps 🗣, you're still young and you have all the time in the world to experience meaningful moments (even heartbreaking ones). so go talk to that girl bae <33 no matter what happens, i'll always be here for you. ily lots mwaaaa

© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.

[clonerightsagenda]

Thank you for applying for a library card!

We are a large metropolitan library with twelve branches here in the city and a consortial agreement with ninety-seven different timelines (and counting). Your card is your ticket to our physical and digital collections, where we have something for everyone.

You’ve indicated that you are licensed for time travel and regularly travel in time or between timelines for work purposes, so you are eligible for our trans-timeline borrower’s card. Please read this document carefully to ensure you’re using your new card to its fullest potential and in compliance with library policy.

Our services:

The library has a floating collection, meaning items remain at the branch where they were returned rather than being sent back to the lending branch. However, we do return inter-timeline loans to their home universe to minimize temporal strain. If you’re browsing the shelves and see a book phasing in and out of existence, alert an employee. It’s probably misshelved.  

Our new online system allows you to keep the same login information in all timelines. No more keeping track of dozens of passwords! If you previously created multiple logins tied to one card, visit the circulation desk, and we’ll merge your accounts for you. No, this will not make you responsible for alternate selves’ outstanding fines, and any version of yourself telling you that is lying to you.

You asked, and we listened. Our new online catalog displays reviews from patrons from all relevant timelines on items exceeding a 90% similarity score. We request that patrons keep debates over the superiority of their timeline’s version to venues other than our catalog.

Although our staff members are not medical professionals, they have been trained to recognize signs of temporal instability. If you are experiencing characteristic symptoms (faintness, disorientation, physical and/or mental age changes, etc.), a staff member can administer grounding agents until emergency services arrive.

The library has a robust inter-timeline loan system. If you’re looking for a book or article not published in this timeline, fill out our online form or ask at the circulation desk. The average wait time for an ITL request is five business days. That’s shortened to three if you’re requesting an item stored at the James Patterson Interdimensional Warehouse. (Note: This estimate may change as the warehouse continues to expand under its own power, or if our courier gets lost there.)

Our policies:

We do not accept returns before the publication date (month and year). Cataloging books paradoxically created through stable time loops gets too complicated. You can check a book’s month of publication in a review journal like Booklist, which we make available online and in our non-circulating magazine collection.

We’ve recently gone fine-free in this timeline, meaning we no longer charge fees for overdue books. This policy varies between consortium timelines depending on whether certain people on the board of directors have retired yet.

If a book is damaged beyond repair, lost in a Time Hole, or overwritten out of existence by timeline changes, you will be responsible for the replacement cost or a flat fee of $30, whichever is lower. We do not recommend attempting to rewrite time to avoid losing or damaging the book, as we would prefer to purchase a new copy rather than tear a hole in the fabric of reality.

Patrons may use our computers for two hours. You can extend this time if there are no other patrons waiting. Show respect to other library users and do not abuse time travel to circumvent the policy when there is high demand. We will notice if there are two of you at our computing stations. Yes, even if one of you is wearing a funny hat.

The library values your privacy. We will not disclose account information or the content of reference transactions to anyone, including alternate versions of the account holder. The library also does not keep a record of the materials you check out. However, some of our databases do track user data. If you need to conceal your presence in this timeline to avoid paradoxes, the Time Cops, or your ex, we keep a collection of electronic resource licenses at the reference desk so you can judge which products to avoid.

Holder vs. Holder found that copyright protections extend across timelines and prior to publication, and copyright is exclusive to the iteration who created the work. Patrons attempting to copy library materials and publish them under their own name will have their cards revoked, even if they created the material in another timeline. This policy was adopted after consultation with our legal team. Trans-timeline copyright enforcement is very aggressive.

The library respects the personhood and autonomy of patrons no matter their timeline of origin. However, this respect is not always universal. If you need to know what the laws are for time travelers/alternate selves/dimension-hoppers/“timeclones”/etc. in this dimension (or the terminology used to refer to them), stop by the reference desk.

Violence is against library policy. If you are about to battle your alternate self from another timeline because you ran into each other in the cookbook section, take it to the parking lot.

In conclusion:

Libraries are committed to free access to information, and with the resources of dozens of timelines available to us, our mission has only gotten bigger. In fact, we’re hiring! If you’re looking for somewhere new to apply your time travel certification, we’re looking for team members in our inter-timeline loan department. Entry-level courier positions do not require an MLIS. Familiarity with James Patterson is a plus.

We can’t wait to see you in our library. (Maybe we already have.)  

[monsterfactoryfanfic]

30 Sickos, 3.5 Stars, and Pervert Writers

As I gear up to publish Detente for the Ravenous, I've been thinking a lot about these tweets. I know that my writing is solid, but it's not groundbreaking. My designs are fun, but they're not revolutionary. My prose is simple, my plots well-trodden. The fights and monsters kick ass, but god help me my romance is milquetoast at best. It's not what I'm interested in. I'm interested in the 30 years war and Catholic kaiju.

We like to quantify things, online. When I'm shopping for games, I sort by "most popular" and "highest rated." I don't want my time to be wasted, I don't want to spend my money sub-optimally. It's easier to connect to folks over a movie that 3 million people watched as opposed to a podcast listened to by a few hundred. I am not criticizing the impulse. Life is too short, and none of us have enough money.

But as a creator, whatever that means, I think I have to get comfortable with my shortcomings, and be honest about what I actually care about. I am not interested in writing a novel that appeals to all people. I am interested in writing a novel where they assassinate Pope Kissinger. That doesn't mean I won't ever try to improve my romance, or make my character arcs less predictable. But if I am gonna write another book, I have to write it for me, not for my imagined literary agent or Big 5 editor.

There's this great manifesto on itchio by “Average Urotsukidōji Enjoyer," called "Good Writers are Perverts." It touches on this sentiment that I've been stewing on, and I think this passage crystalizes what I'm trying to do with my own work.

I know my best work is the work of the pervert, the ex catholic who grew up on Naruto, the military history dork who trained for years to save lives instead of taking them. That is the stuff that makes me want to create, the hope that I can take all my stupid interests and life experiences and twist them into something at least partially interesting, to hit that 3.5 star rating that isn't all things to all people, but is at least one really good thing to a few people. If a handful of young folks get ahold of my work and it changes their lives in a small way forever, then I'll be happy.

I hope that as art becomes less profitable, as financial incentives only encourage the bland and inoffensive, the tried and true instead of niche and experimental, more artists double down, go deep instead of wide. I'm not afraid to fail, I'm afraid of trying so hard to be loved that I stop giving a shit about the craft

[kyouka-supremacy]

BSD Official Guidebook Gongeroku - characters profiles

Finally stopped procrastinating Got around to arranging the profiles from the fifth official guidebook Gongeroku. Thank you so so much @justplaggin for helping out fix my messy translations, your help was immeasurable (╥﹏╥) Except for young Oda, I didn't include profiles that only listed age / height / weight since they didn't feature any info we didn't know already.

Other guidebooks profiles by @/looking-for-stray-dogs (listing here for easy access / having them all in one place): second guidebook Shinkaroku; DEAD APPLE guidebook.

Untold Origins arc

Ranpo Edogawa Age: 14 years old Height: 160cm Weight: Unknown First thing he does when he wakes up in the morning: Praise himself for being a great detective A habit he can't help: The marbles in Ramune are so pretty, he has to take them home If he wasn't at the detective agency, what would he be doing now?: Can't even imagine Where does he see himself in 10 years?: Supporting the president, just like he is now

Yukichi Fukuzawa Age: 32 years old Height: 186cm Weight: Unknown First thing he does when he wakes up in the morning: Take a deep breath and let the energy flow to his abdomen A habit he can't help: Walking by sliding his feet, keeping the unwavering figure of a swordsman A moment recently that made you feel just how much Ranpo has grown?: The average number of candies he eats went from 18 to 17. Where does he see himself in 10 years?: Thanks to his subordinates' efforts, the city will have become peaceful, increasing his spare time a little.

Sakunosuke Oda Age: 14 years old Height: 165cm Weight: Unknown

Canon

Osamu Dazai Age: 22 years old Height: 181cm Weight: 67kg What color would you compare yourself with?: Colorless and transparent. Because I don't see any value either in living or in wearing colors. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?: Hopefully passing away

Atsushi Nakajima Age: 18 years old Height: 170cm Weight: 55kg What color would you compare yourself with?: White. My hair is white, and Akutagawa's is black, so, a color as different as possible. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?: I wonder if I'll still be alive in this bewildering city…

Kyouka Izumi Age: 14 years old Height: 148cm Weight: 40kg What color would you compare yourself with?: Gray, rather than white. It was black before, and now I want it to be white, but the past still has meaning in itself. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?: Continuing to support Atsushi

Doppo Kunikida Age: 22 years old Height: 189cm Weight: 78kg What color would you compare yourself with?: The color of steel. The materialization of flawlessness and unshakeable ideals, steel. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?: According to my notebook, my salary will have increased by 47%, my subordinates by 4, my medals for contrubuting to peace by 3… (explanation continues for 30 minutes)

Ryuunosuke Akutagawa Age: 20 years old Height: 172cm Weight: 50kg What color would you compare yourself with?: Black. It's the color of the overcoat that Dazai-san gave me. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?: Becoming the strongest ability user in Yokohama

Chuuya Nakahara Age: 22 years old Height: 160cm Weight: 60kg What color would you compare yourself with?: Red. Kajii once said that the fastest forward-moving things appear red from behind. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?: Expanding the mafia's territory to cover the whole country

Fyodor Dostoyevsky Age: Unknown Height: Unknown Weight: Unknown What do you want to eat now?: Appetite… I do not experience something like that. Something you always do before going to bed?: Pray to God What color would you compare yourself with?: The white of snow from my hometown If you could be born again, what would you want to become?: Most things, I've already become. A reward for hard work would be... : Listening to classical music all day

Saigiku Jouno Age: Unknown Height: 181cm Weight: Unknown What he believes are his strengths and weaknesses: His strength is his good hearing, his weakness is that he can't see. Motto: Send Tetchou flying Something he wants right now: Not being held responsible even if he torments a criminal to death Something that recently made him laugh: The captain was able to quietly approach and tickle him

Tetchou Suehiro Age: Unknown Height: 184cm Weight: Unknown What he believes are his strengths and weaknesses: His strengths are that he is the embodiment of justice and has a will of steel, his weakness is that he can't read people's true intentions. Motto: Justice of steel Something he wants right now: Enough space at home to put his weight training machine Something that recently made him laugh: The last time he laughed was when he was a baby, so he doesn't remember.

Michizou Tachihara Age: 19 years old Height: 176cm Weight: 62kg What he believes are his strengths and weaknesses: His strength is that he has a strong ability, his weakness is that he's not very smart Motto: Orders make me who I am Something he wants right now: A cool motorbike like Chuuya-san's, for commuting to work Something that recently made him laugh: Unintentionally giving the military police internal audit department a mafia-style glare

Teruko Ookura Age: Unknown Height: Indefinite Weight: Indefinite What she believes are her strengths and weaknesses: Her strength is her love for the captain, her weakness is that she can't see anyone but the captain. Motto: The society's dog, the strongest dog Something she wants right now: The captain's used socks Something that recently made her laugh: During practice, Jouno and Tetchou challenged the captain at the same time, but were beaten at their own game

Ouchi Fukuchi Age: 45 years old Height: 190cm Weight: Unknown What he believes are his strengths and weaknesses: His strength is being physically strong. His weakness is that he is too strong, and didn't develop a habit of delegating things to his subordinates. Motto: World peace Something he wants right now: A comfortable disguise (because people ask for his autograph wherever he goes) Something that recently made him laugh: All five of them (Hunting Dogs) having a pleasant talk

Nikolai Gogol Age: 26 years old Height: 184cm Weight: 68kg What he believes are his strengths and weaknesses: His strength is his talent for magic, his weakness is his fickle nature. Motto: Be as free as a bird Something he wants right now: Someone who understands him A reward for hard work would be... : Applause and praise from a crowd of people

Sigma Age: Unknown Height: 177cm Weight: 62kg What he believes are his strengths and weaknesses: Strength: being someone who battles on even in difficult circumstances. Weakness: everything else other than that. Motto: Ordinary people have their own, ordinary ways of fighting. Something he wants right now: A home to return to A reward for hard work would be... : Patting himself on the shoulder and saying “good job.”