#anyway the exam was overall good for the most part

[wiki-howell]

guess who managed to mention dnp in his a level media exam 🔥🔥

[strayflowersstarsandlove]

Preoccupied (hwanghyunjin)

The best thing about having two best friends in love was that you were so extremely happy for them you genuinely wanted them to last forever. The worst thing about having two best friends in love was that they made you feel soooo single like soooo single you also wanted to pull out your hair one by one.

The last relationship you had ended up so bad it had made you retreat even more into your own head. Being quite the introverted, quiet person you were didn't help at all,too. It wasn't even about being the stereotypical shy bookworm who hated parties and would rather spend their existence sipping tea by the fire. It was more about genuinely not having the social battery to endure loud crowds and big social events as often as you could have.

Being around people, being around close friends especially, was absolutely fine, it made you feel good, even. You just needed your alone time to recharge. And yeah... Most of the time that alone time did include reading 4 books in a week and downing gallons of warm tea.

Now problem was that you and said best friend #1 had been invited to a birthday party of a friend of a friend over the weekend and you would have declined, being just overall tired from your exam week and uni and your part time job but Lexi had been giving you a headache with the amount of "please please please don't make me go alone Changbin will be stuck at work at least until 1am please please come with me please please I love you pleaaaaase" and so on and so forth.

Here's another thing about having two best friends in love: they were inseparable. So loved up and clingy they hated being separate, but they were also so thankful for you had played cupid and matched them up, which, in turn, as a gesture of gratitude, often lead to them making you third wheeling a number of their dates. This one time you had the chance to go a party with just Lexi, and as much as you weren't too keen on going, in the end you gave in, just for the sake of your friendship with her.

So there you were, mulling around with your half full soda drink, trying to make small talk while your perfect social butterfly of your best friend drank her beer and chatted up a storm with anyone and everyone there. A familiar pop song comes on through the speaker and you bob your head to it, mindlessly trying to keep the rhythm as you take another sip from your cup, a girl with scraggly blonde hair extensions looks at your sad red solo cup and holds up the tequila bottle, quietly offering you a shot, but you politely decline, being the designated driver for the night. Not that you minded, you weren't much of a drinker anyway, you just hated the way she frowned and made a beeline to another group of people that were clearly already drunk out of their asses, not even an hour and half into the party.

You follow Lexi around like a little lost puppy for a little while, mentally counting how many more beers and tequila shots and whatever other brightly colored drink she inhales, and as she inevitably starts to laugh more boisterously and wobble on her feet, you keep a close watch over her, offering her bits of food and silent support should she feel sick from all the alcohol.

You're about to tear a piece of pizza in two for her as she lifts her giggly, intoxicated self from a chair near the snacks table when she accidently trips on her own feet and almost fall to the ground. You have barely any time to react, you extend your arms out for her when "careful!" a tall,longish dark haired boy you didn't notice earlier swiftly catches her in his arms, steading her in place as he holds her hand briefly, then slowly guiding her back on the chair.

"Are you okay?", he asks softly, deep brown eyes squinting in concern as he frowns, "Hyunjin?? Oh my God what are you doing here!!?", Lexi completely ignores his question and instead throws herself at him, pulling him into such a tight hug his eyes pop out, you giggle to yourself and mouth a silent "sorry" in his direction, he acknowledges you with a brief nod of his head and smiles at you over her shoulder. It's a sweet, shy smile, you're immediately drawn to it. "So?? Are you gonna answer? What are you doing here at Skylar's party?". Oh right. Skylar. The birthday girl you were supposed to greet at some point since she was actually hosting this party in her own guest house.

Except you hadn't seen her at all so far. "Changbin invited me? He said he couldn't make it last minute but I was already on my way here", Hyunjin politely replies as Lexi finally lets go of him and he fixes his shirt, "my baby! I'm so sad he's still working, my poor poor baby!", Lexy whines and frowns only for then immediately snapping out of it as if she caught on fire suddenly, she dramatically gestures for you to come closer and firmly grabs your hand:"I almost forgot!! This is my best friend in the whole universe, y/n. Y/n this is Hyunjin, Changbinnies best friend in the whole universe, besides you, obviously".

The three of you burst into laughs and Hyunjin slightly bows to you as he smiles again in that timid way, his eyes kind and inviting and dang: he is gorgeous. You catch yourself staring at him in awe, "nice to meet you", you mumble, unable to stop similing.

"Great, my job here is done. I'm gonna find Skylar now. And a restroom. Who know beer made you want to pee this bad", Lexy exclaims, suddenly springing up to her still unsteady feet,  both of you and Hyunjin scramble to help her  when she almost trips again, this time quickly regaining balance and giggling like a maniac before she sashays away.

"I-I'm sorry, she's usually more composed than that. I think she's drinking away her sadness over Changbin not being here", you offer as you awkwardly play with the bracelet on your left wrist, Hyunjin shakes his head as if to signal that it is no big deal and fills up his cup with the Coke zero in front of him, "it's okay, I know he's very much in love with her too, he'd probably be crying in his drink if the roles were switched", he teases and you giggle, "cheers to hopefully not having to babysit her all night long", you prod then, lifting your cup to him, and this time he giggles and it's adorable. High pitched and bright and sincere. Absolutely adorable.

You manage to make small talk, actually pleasant small talk, and find out he's a pretty good listener, he asks you tons of questions and waits patiently for you to reply, and he really looks at you, his gaze intent and present, he talks softly and giggles and is just generally very nice and pleasant to talk to.

You're in the middle of explaining how you ended up switching courses over at uni when you chose philosophy over psychology when he notices the bracelet you still continue to play with as a way to cope with the awkwardness and nervousness overall, "is that a lava bead bracelet?", he asks, eyes wide and curios as he delicately touches your wrist, "oh, yeah. Changbin got it for me, he said it was the only one in this turquoise and black color scheme so it caught his eyes. And turquoise is my favourite color so... That was very nice if him".

You smile as you reminisce and Hyunjin lights up at the mention of your favorite color,"I have an oil paint tub at home that looks exactly like that. It's so bright and gorgeous I use it so sparingly cause I want to it to last for as long as possible", he explains all enthusiastically and you can't help but find his excitement contagious. Especially cause you're an art major: "you paint?", you ask quietly and he nods, pulling out his phone to show you some of his work, and it's incredible. He paints flowers and faces and people and landscapes and he does it beautifully. With so much color and intensity.

He starts elaborating over the inspiration behind some of his pieces but as the music grows louder and the people get drunker it's a little harder for you to hear him properly, even as you lean more over to his side with him being much much taller than you you have to strain your hearing to be able to catch onto anything that he's saying.

And he definitely notices your contorted face because he stops and giggles, he places his cup down on the table and bends down so close to your ear you can actually smell his shampoo, "is it okay if we go somewhere quieter?",  you beam at him and nod, relieved. You two make your way over to the other side of the house and are just about to step outside when you remember you haven't seen Lexy in a bit and it troubles you a little. "Uhm.. I think I might need to check on Lexy first. You haven't seen her have you?", you aks worriedly, Hyunjin nods understandingly and gestures for you to lead the way, "I'll help you look".

Together you scour through the entire first floor to no avail and then decide to head upstairs where you cautiously knock on a few doors, afraid that someone's in there, probably getting pregnant, high or infected with God knows what. After a few more unfruitful rounds you try and call her: she picks up on the third ring, sounding drunk but not completely wasted, "hellooooo!!! I'm just hanging out with a few nice girls from our chemsirtry class... Or was that physics? I don't know", "oh.. Okay sure... I was just about to step outside for some fresh air, I'll just be in the backyard if you need me, okay?".

She chuckles and sighs heavily on the other side of the line and it's like you can just picture her as she rolls her eyes, "no need to baby me, I'll be fine. Is Hyunjin still there with you?", she asks loudly, loud enough for the young man to hear it directly and giggle, "still here!", he half shouts into the phone and it takes everything in you not to just burst into hysterics, "good! Take care of her. Be safe! Love you!" she shouts back and with that she hangs up, leaving you two giggling and blushing.

Once you're outside in the cool late August air, you sit on a lovely swinging chair overlooking the vast backyard that leads on a little fence separating the property from just an immense stretch of corn fields. You both stop to admire it for a second, and Hyunjin even snaps a few pics, struggling to set the night lighting fixture correctly but succeeding in the end.

You resume your conversation right back up from where it was interrupted and it flows so naturally. When you tell him you're an art major Hyunjin's eyes literally sparkle, he bombards you with questions about everything that you've learned so far, which leads to a topic change about the books you're reading in preparation for your future exams and the ones you're trying to squeeze in as a personal hobby.

You find out he reads too, that he loves poetry and music and he too is more of an introvert, usually, but still enjoys social settings every once in a while. "I can't believe we have so much in common, where have you been my whole life?", he asks rethorically, grinning as you blush profusely but try to play it off, "hahaha hiding in plain sight? I guess. Sorry if I kept rambling, by the way. I'm usually not even much of a talker but it's rare to find someone who enjoys the same things as me. There's this quite from a movie...", you trail off, stifling an embarrassed laugh as you shake your head.

You bite down your lip in silence, playing with your bracelet again but Hyunjin scoots closer to you on the swing chair and prods you on," it's silly... but it's like... - I learned what is obvious to a child. That life is simply a collection of little lives, each lived one day at a time. That each day should be spent finding beauty in flowers and poetry and talking to animals tha-", "-that a day spent with dreaming and sunsets and refreshing breezes cannot be bettered", he finishes for you, smiling so warmly at the recognition of the quote from The Notebook.

Your jaw drops as you stare at him wide eyed and he chuckles, "I've seen that movie recently, it's become one of my favorites", he admits and you almost jump in your seat in excitement, "it is one of my favorite movies too!", you blurt out and for some odd, inexplicable reason you hold out your palm as if to ask him to high five you AND HE DOES, even though you're cringing at your own self. You're literally grimacing and going over the scene in your head over and over when you realise Hyunjin hasn't let go of your hand. He hit it slightly and then intertwined your fingers together.

You sit motionless, your heart rising up in your throat as he gently holds your hand on top of his knee and for the life of you, you can't stop staring at your interlocked fingers. You can't stop thinking about how spontaneous and cute it was of him, and how nice it feels, how his hand is big but slender, his fingers smooth and tapered. You smile to yourself like an idiot and if he notices, he doesn't say anything, he smiles himself as quietness momentarily fills the air. It's not a tense silence by any means, it's just peaceful and calm. The complete opposite of your insides right now. How on earth is this real life? How can someone so stunningly beautifully and kind and sensitive and artistic can even be sitting next to you right now?

A little gust of chilly air blows at you and you shiver slightly, inadvertently making you jerk the hand that Hyunjin's holding, he frowns and tilts his head to the side, "are you cold?", he murmurs sweetly, you shrug and try not to show how you're actually unsure whether you shivered because of the wind or the very man holding your hand right now, "just a little tiny bit, but I'll be okay", you reassure him, smiling toothlessly.

He frowns and scoots even closer to you, he switches the hand that's holding yours with his other one and nonchalantly rests an arm around your back as he draws you closer to his side, rubbing gentle circles on your shoulder cap too, "I'm sorry I don't have any jacket to lend you right now", he mutters. Your hearts swells up as you look up at him, your eyes definitely looking like those cartoon inspired pink love hearts that bulge out of their sockets, even more so when he simply smiles tenderly at you.

"You are-you are too kind. But I promise I'm just being dramatic. I have very low blood pressure, I can get cold even with 100°degrees outside. I'm not a summer person at all", you joke (even though you actually do get cold quite easily and you still sleep with your pijama on in the dead of the summer, but Hyunjin doesn't need to know that). The brunette chuckles and squeezes your hand once, as if to reassure you, or quietly blot down the sweat forming there, as much as you're feeling  genuinely a little cold you're also aware you're nervously sweating.

"I prefer cooler seasons too, fall is my favourite. With all the pretty leaves changing colors and that gloomy feel to the air. Spring is pretty too, but like early spring, when it's still a little cold from the winter and the skies are clear and the air is crisp and the flowers are still slowly blossoming", Hyunjin says softly, his eyes gazing towards the fields in front of you. Listening to him speak like that, his voice airy and soothing, makes your insides feel like jelly, the way he's definitely attuned to nature and the smaller, tinier details each season offers, the way he clearly appreciates simple yet beautiful things makes you shudder in delight.

"Oof you must be so cold, goodness, come here", Hyunjin humpfs, he spreads out his legs and invites you to sit in between them... Well he basically drags you over to him until you cover your face in shame and gingerly do as you're told. You bite your lip down and sqqueeze your eyes shut as your feel your face abalze when your back finally rests against his chest: it feels so nice you want to scream.

Hyunjin laces his arms around your waist, respectfully placing his hands just above your navel, he interlaced his own hands together, careful not too touch you innapropriately even when he squeezes his thighs back against yours, making sure your skirt isn't riding up. You're screaming internally as you feel his warm, steady breath fanning your neck, his scent faintly sweet and clean, kind of floral, "you smell good...", you mumble, immediately looking down at your hands, sitting awkwardly in your lap as you're too scared he's gonna feel just how shaky and cold and sweaty they are if you try and rest them on top of his. Even though you're desperate for it. You'd love to just snuggle up to him.

It occurs to you that this has never happened before: never in your life you've felt this close to someone so fast. Nobody ever so blatantly want to just talking to you to fully holding you in such a shirt amount of time, and the thing is: he did that so carefully. So sweetly.Hyunjin chuckles and breathes out softly, "thank you. I'm not wearing any cologne, actually", he admits rather shyly, "must be just your skin then", you reply on impulse, mentally slapping your head, luckily enough for you he just laughs and shrugs, the movement reverberating through your spine, "you'd be surprised how many times people say that to me. Changbin said I smell like a human car freshener", he blurts out and you both laugh at that.

You relax into him now, using your prolonged giggles as an excuse, you dare fully adjusting yourself into him, laying your head on his shoulder, even placing your hands on top of his, your fingertips just barely tapping his skin as you blush all the way, breathing a little erratically. He seems welcoming though, even though you can't clearly see his face you can't tell he is smiling behind you as his heads leans a little closer to yours, "you smell good too, your hair smells like vanilla", he comments once you're fully settled into him, and you thank him with just a whisper.

Comfortable silence falls between you two again, and again it's that sort of quietness that's enjoyable and serene. You look up at the sky a little awestruck as the tiny silvery dots twinkle in the black of the night, you sigh as quietly as you possibly can as a deep sense of calmness and contentness washes over you, your heart might still be thudding in your chest but you feel oddly calm.

You move your head slightly as you try to follow the trajectory of a passing plane, unconsciously digging the back of your head into his shoulder blade and gasp at the contact, "oh shoot, sorry, I'm so sorry", you quickly apologise, fully turning in your seat to face him, your eyes briefly looking down to his extremely soft looking, juicy lips and then back up into his gentle orbs, Hyunjin just laughs and tilts his own head back slightly, "that was absolutely okay, you are so cute", he reassures you, he even kisses your cheek for further good measure.

Just as predicted, his lips feel incredibly plump and soft and plushy. And you shiver. Of course you do. You just can't not do it. Your body just reacts however it pleases. "You're shivering again! wait...", Hyunjin gently gazes into your eyes and cups your chin, a bemused expression on his face as he licks the corner of his mouth, "I'm making you shiver?!", he exclaims half surprised half smirking and even though you're sure you're turning purple in the face you try to deny his very right guess, "noo... I'm-I mean I'm-I'm  actually - ", you stutter,unable to continue your sentence as all of your senses go into overdrive from the intense embrassment.

He pats your head softly as he grins at you and goes in to kiss your temple, and then the top of your eyebrow, his arms cradling your trembling limbs, "you are shaking, y/n", he whispers against your cheek, and you want to say something you desperately want to but your throat seems to be completely closed on itself, "you know... I'm usually not this bold but... are you going to completely burst out of your skin if I kiss you right now?".

You get the same brain freeze you as you usually get when you eat your ice popsicle too quickly and you feel icicles taking over your jaw and the insides of your nose and your forehead. All you can do is hold Hyunjin's very intense stare and tilt your head to the side, "there's - there's only one way to find out", you reply, your voice barely above a whisper.

He goes in for your lips, kissing you slowly and delicately, even when he slips his tongue past your lips he does so in such a gentle way you melt into from the inside out. "Hey Hyunjin-ah OH SHIT".

You abruptly tear away from each other, starled from the sudden gasps as you turn around and find Channgbin staring at you both with the most shocked yet satisfied look on his face.You fall silent and look at each other awkwardly as all of your internal organs feel like they're going to explode any minute now, "so I uh - didn't mean to interrupt you guys?", Channgbin smirks and scratches his chin, "I was just gonna say hi and aks you if you happen to know where Lexy is but it looks like you two were... preoccupied".

[evanrouge]

⌗ them as... college roommates?

ft. idia and jade (separately) — headcanons.

— idia shroud

As a roommate, Idia is unintentionally extremely messy. Though he tends to stick to his own half of the dorm, so upon entering the room there is just a visible line down the middle between your neat part and his... Which is usually full of empty energy drink cans and wires. He's messy, but tolerable messy, as he would never dare leave his gear in your territory, being somebody who deeply values his space and privacy himself.

He plays games until the sun comes up, and occasionally has his mic on to converse with his fellow teammates while doing so. But he can get quite loud when he starts trash-talking the sloppy players down the mic, even despite how he tries to keep the volume down after you once fiercely ranted at him for precisely 87 minutes after he woke you up at 3:53 one night before a final exam. He never wants to torment the final boss while being severely underleveled ever again. He does try to be quiet out of respect for you, but he sometimes forgets and ends up waking you up anyway.

Taking out the trash comes down to a game of pure chance, that you're like 99% sure is probably rigged in his favor, with how he tends to win quite literally every time. If he does end up losing, he'd probably forget to take out his highly-stacked collection of cans, which even you tend to avoid. Taking the trash out is a weekly task, but taking out Idia's energy drink empire is a monthly one. Honestly, it's a surprise he hasn't suffered a heart attack yet.

But hey! If you have an hour or two that you wanna burn before going out, then he's always down to play a good game with you! Whether electronic or a board game, he isn't picky. As much as he'd never admit it, playing physically with somebody is a lot nicer than playing with somebody online. But then he'd get all salty when you've gotta leave for whatever was planned, and try to persuade you into ditching the normies and playing another (or twelve) games with him. What can he say? You got him in "the zone," and surely playing games with him is more fun than whatever you're leaving him for... right? RIGHT?

It may seem a lot like he becomes dependent on you, and to be honest… yeah, that's most definitely the case. Over time, living with him renders you becoming as close to him as his younger brother Ortho. What once was him unable to speak a word to you without choking up turns into you becoming the person he turns to in order to rant. Turns into him giving you special permission to play his consoles if you're bored and he's away from campus to visit home. He's probably got another of the same one there anyway, so don't be surprised if he messages you from home demanding you turn on a specific game to play together when he notices you come online.

Overall a 7/10 roommate. He's always there so there isn't much potential alone time, but you could totally let out any frustrations you have and he'll put his headphones on and pretend he doesn't notice.

— jade leech

Compared to Idia, Jade is exceptionally neat. The room would be practically spotless at all times, which you would assume he does when you're away from the dorm, considering you've never actually seen him clean with your own two eyes. There will not be a single speck of dust on the windowsills, nor a single hair on the carpet. Not that you're going to complain about it. It's much nicer to have somebody clean like Jade rather than somebody who would be as lazy as Leona. If anything, he would make you feel like you don't do enough. Even if you most certainly do, he just goes above and beyond.

As much of a little shit as he can be, even Jade appreciates his space, and he will value yours too. He isn't always in the dorm outside of classes, being a big figure in the Mostro Lounge he will most frequently be seen there until the late hours of the day, but he will try to not associate his presence with Floyd and Azul. Not that he will be very successful in that endeavor. Whenever Floyd is bored in his own dorm he will seek out Jade's, and flop onto your bed drilling on about how haplessly dull life is, and refusing to leave until he wants to. As for Azul, he appears at the most inconvenient of moments requesting Jade's input on a thing or twelve. You might as well just call all three of them your roommates already. Sometimes even Jade wants a little bit of time away from them.

Despite Jade ensuring the dorm is as clean as can be at all times, you somehow end up finding various different kinds of mushrooms in the strangest of places. One time, after coming back from the dorm extremely tired due to a long day and wanting nothing but to sleep, you moved your covers to find a single mushroom beneath it. To which Jade quietly remarked: "That's where you went," before promptly removing it and apologizing. He never acknowledged that strange moment afterward, and to be honest you half suspected that you hallucinated it.

Or at least, until you accidentally found the questionably large mushroom farm hidden beneath his bed. The situation was similar to when you find a giant stash that a small child is trying to hide. He tried to play it off like it doesn't exist. Or perhaps he is just pretty good at not mentioning or acknowledging it. He still hasn't answered your question of whether he put that mushroom in your bed on purpose or not, though. You never expected that sharing a room with Jade would prompt you to be gaslit because of a fungus.

You swear, in a sleepy haze, you once heard Jade telling a bedtime story to his mushrooms, but when you fully opened your eyes to take a look he was seemingly sleeping.

Overall a 8.5/10 roommate, would be a 9.5 if his presence didn't constantly demand either Floyd or Azul's, and they stay until pretty late too. The mushroom thing, you suppose you can get used to. Plus he cooks you stuff sometimes so that's pretty nice.

[yellowkitkieran]

Two Minutes (Kieran Tierney)

Masterlist

Word Count: 1.5k

Summary: Kieran isn’t very good with words, which leads to you thinking he doesn’t care, which he very much does. Requested by @oh-saints

Kieran is a man of few words. You learned that very early on when you met him. His actions speak louder anyway; what be can't say with his mouth, he'll let you know through his actions. Well, in most cases that is. 

Before you officially started dating, Kieran was an attentive man. He sent you messages after dates to make sure you got home okay and sent you flowers after your first dinner together. Now that you're officially his girlfriend though, something seems to have shifted. You don't hear from him as often. When you do, it's rarely anything substantial, usually only a quick chat about your days before he's yawning and telling you he needs to rest. 

You lay in bed, staring at your phone. For the third night in a row, you wait up for a text that doesn't come. Kieran's been busy with training for the London derby tomorrow and your schedules haven't lined up to let you see each other for what feels like ages. You miss him, plain and simple. You'd do anything to see him for five minutes. But apparently, Kieran doesn't miss you enough to so much as send you a short message before bed.

It isn't too much to ask for. You message him a few times throughout your day, updating him on the monotonous things in your life like your exam scores and the fact that the kitchen on campus ran out of jam and muffins this morning. He's read them but hasn't replied to a single one, and that's getting on your nerves. 

Three dots appear on your screen and you almost think you're hallucinating until a message pops up. 

Hey, sorry I've been so busy. Are you still coming to the match tomorrow?

You want to leave him on read so he knows how you've felt all day. However that's just not something you can do; you'll take any opportunity you can to hear from him, seeing as you're not sure when you'll get the chance again. 

That's my plan! Are you busy now? We could maybe facetime xx

I really need to get to bed… but I'll see you at the stadium?

Kieran's message pulls the plug on your mental sink, draining your excitement in seconds. Can't he spare two minutes so you can lay eyes on him? At this point you're half convinced he wants nothing to do with you and is just stringing you along. 

Oh, yeah of course. Sleep tight Kieran xx

You don't bother waiting for a response when you know it won't come. He's probably already plugged his phone into the charger and put it face down on his nightstand. He's probably put on his white noise machine playing and is cuddled up under his fuzzy white blanket, waiting for sleep to take him.

The irony is, you know Kieran's pre-matchday routine like the back of your hand, but you doubt he could even tell you how you like your eggs. You could make him a full breakfast just the way he likes, with his fruit in a separate bowl from his oatmeal and everything, and he doesn't even know if you like fruit. 

Overall, you can't shake the feeling that Kieran just doesn't care. Is it irrational? Maybe, but if he cared, he'd try and make time for you, wouldn't he? Even just two minutes, that's all you're asking for. Two minutes of his time. Apparently, that's too high of a cost for Kieran to pay.

**********

You suppose the nice part of being a wag is the fact that you don't need to pay for parking. You're allowed to park in the same lot as the players, which is a treat considering you also don't need to wait in a long, winding line to get inside. 

You're early. Like, really early. When you woke up this morning you decided you were going to see Kieran whether he wanted to or not- so here you sit, scrolling through Instagram on your phone while you wait for Kieran to pull in. And he can't miss you either; you made sure to park in his unassigned assigned spot so he can't claim he didn't see you.

Out of the corner of your eye, you spot a gray Audi. Your heart becomes stuck in your throat as it parks next to you. You force yourself to wait until Kieran knocks on your window to roll it down and look up at his smiling face. 

"Hey, I didn't expect to see you here so early. Wow- you went all out today didn't you?"

You bristle, glancing down at your jeans and Arsenal jersey with Kieran's number in the center of your chest. You barely bothered to do your hair and you only put on a minimal amount of makeup. What's he trying to say, that you don't normally put any effort in?

You shake your head, "I wanted to see you before your match today so I could wish you luck. Seeing as you've barely spoken to me all week."

Kieran's face softens and you almost feel guilty. "Right, I'm sorry about that. I've been busy like I said-" 

"Too busy to text me and say goodnight?"

You don't mean to accuse him so directly before an important game. It just tumbles out of you like rocks down a hillside, and you're powerless to stop it. You can't take the words back once they're spoken, despite the fact that Kieran looks like you've slapped him.

Kieran straightens with a sigh. His hand falls off your door and you begin to panic as he walks away, tears pricking your eyes. That's one way to break up with someone you suppose. You rest your head on the wheel, nearly jumping out of your skin when the passenger door opens and Kieran climbs inside. 

"What are you-"

"I'm not going inside until I've spoken to you about this." Okay, maybe you should stop jumping to conclusions, because Kieran looks as close to tears as you are. He takes a breath, reaching across for your hand. After a week of nothing, his touch does wonders to calm your frayed nerves. You feel your panic ebbing away like the tide, soothed by the way his thumb rubs over your knuckles. 

"Look, I'm terrible at communicating. I'm doing my best but clearly I'm not doing enough, because I don't mean to make you feel like this."

"It feels like you don't care anymore." Your voice is a barely recognizable whisper, heavy with months of pent up emotion. Your throat feels raw, though a weight lifts off your shoulders as you finally lay it out for him, "in the beginning you were so in tune with me? Sweet gestures all the time, messages to check in on me… what's changed Kieran? Is it something I did?"

"No, no, my love, you haven't done anything I promise," Kieran murmurs, quick to soothe you. "We started dating during the off season, remember? I had so much more time then than I do now. I realize that isn't an excuse but most days I come home from training and literally head right to bed after I eat. Getting back in the swing of things has been exhausting. And it doesn't help that I really have no idea what I'm doing here. You're the first proper girlfriend I've had."

"Wait… I am?"

Kieran nods, his cheeks red. "Yeah, you are. So I'm doing what I think I'm supposed to but like I said, I have no idea. I'll message you more, okay? I promise you that. And I'll make more of an effort to see you. Actually, take this."

Kieran digs in his pocket and pulls out his key ring, removing a silver key and placing it in your palm. "You can come to mine whenever you want, okay? I wouldn't mind walking in and having you be the first thing I see when I get home."

"This is your house key."

"Uh huh."

"Like, you're giving me a key to your house."

"Aye sweetheart I am. I hope that's alright?"

You stare at the metal in your hand. Suddenly you feel stupid for doubting him when he clearly has perfectly valid reasons for being distant lately. You have trusted Kieran since the day you met and he hasn't given you a reason to doubt him. Your insecurities simply got the best of you this time, but you're determined not to let it happen again. 

"It's perfect Kieran. Just like you." You smile, grabbing the front of Kieran's shirt and pull him to you for a passionate, heavy kiss that certainly isn't appropriate for your surroundings, not when one of his teammates honks when they drive by. You break apart, both laughing as you try to catch your breath. 

"Go get 'em, Key. Score a goal for me."

"Anything you say sweetheart. I'll meet you at home after, yeah?"

"I'll be waiting."

[raitnrong]

ive been so tempted to make my own geeta post ever since ive written down this one response on an analysis on her. i've actually come to make my own conclusions abt her character while making and it's making me go '???' at all the apparent hate on her.

genuinely i rly do just want to know what piece i've missed abt her dialogue that's gotten the ppl against her buzzing

i in fact do think that geeta is a great top champion! she conducts check-ins w the gyms, has gotten herself involved in the proceedings of the school (a great thing to have done as a top champion btw, recognizing it's important to be updated and engaged in paldea's new generation), and takes her role as the top champion very seriously! (so srs that she's caught onto nemona's need to be able to battle at her fullest when she'd had her exam)

she may have had her flaws like being meddlesome n a bit careless at times (like sending the player to larry w/o a head-up on his part|| a lot of ppl hate this, however this could be construed like she trusts larry to be able to handle such matters instead. depending on ur outlook)

but overall she looks like she does her job w grace. n everyone is flawed?? tho yes it's not an excuse when it comes to having responsibilities as big as hers, but even in a professional light she's not so egregious as to receive the amount distrust she has

a lot of ppl in game hold her in high esteem-- larry is snappy at her yes but why the hell is that suddenly made to define her character? "oh, larry has something going on w geeta n that is but a seed as to why she's fishy as hell!" like??

im p sure larry doesnt even hate her guts! like yes there's dislike there but is larry rly full of loathing so as to have to constantly 'go against the world' bc of his job n his boss? yes his dialogue abt normal types n ppl expecting flashy things were remarkable. but in the context of pokemon? as if id actually believe that!!

(normal types have their own strengths, they're not run-of-the-mill. they don't shine just because "they don't shine". normal pokemon are awesome for being normal pokemon period! it's a type like any other is. not to say his philosophy abt liking a pokemon is any less valid! gym leaders find their types due to many motivations)

anyway getting off topic hahah, larry could just be grumpy in general. so where does ppl get the idea that it makes geeta evil...

is it the design huh. look deep in urself and be honest ,':T

one point btw on how geeta is in fact clever and heartful (that shes not some power-crazed harpy and but is simply engaged in her work) is this point i made abt geeta's decisions with penny.

now if u recall, penny hacked the league in order to be able to reward the player for putting up w cassiopeia's operations

when she told clavell, he said it was out of his jurisdiction n that the decision was to rest on geeta.

and what did geeta do?

she CHOSE to be lenient w penny by instead having her work off her debt to the league by having her improve their cyber networks.

a hobby that penny already does and likes btw! she could have been further expelled or sent off like last time, but instead, geeta's choice was to allow penny the chance to face the consequences of her actions by having penny use her talents as she'd recognized it. geeta didn't see an opportunity for punishment but instead she chose growth.

for her, it'd come to light that they now had two problems: a child facing massive trouble for what is the equivalent of govt.theft and the league's shoddy security. and then she sought a solution that solves both in the most holistic and frickin' effective way possible! wow! it's insane!

she's not taking advantage of penny, it was her intervention of helping her >:T

im sure even penny appreciated her penalty bc she's mature enough to recognize what she's done wrong, does have knack for tech, and she knows she's helping paldea in return w her IT direction (and she's a good kid!)

--hc timee: now imagine nemona and penny bonding over their admiration for la primera as her helpers pls :))--

i would love to hear the points against her other than hcs tho! i may have missed something from the game bc rly i was more tuned to the trio's arcs (esp nemo's) rather than the adults' characters (except for clavell)

but srsly y would ppl hope that there's an agenda ruining scarvi's experience w paldea. tho yes leaders r in the risk of turning corrupt, the fact that there'a no direct text on pkmn is already a testament as geeta's quite clean now.

[corpocyborg]

i'll take a #9, #15, and #30 for valerie!

Thanks for the questions!

Ask game here.

I decided to try something different here, so I'm letting Valerie answer the questions herself this time.

09 favorite food? least favorite? are they a picky eater? do they have any dietary restrictions?

"Ah, food," she said. "Something I can definitely empathize with Goro on—I appreciate high quality food."

"My favorite food is sushi. Goro was extremely wary the first time I invited him over to try a meal from my favorite sushi restaurant. I hadn't ordered from there in long time—too expensive after I lost my Arasaka salary—but I saved up in the hopes that I might impress him and maybe remind him of home. It actually paid off. He admitted there might be some decent food in Night City after all." She shrugged slightly. "I didn't mention it's technically imported."

"But despite my appreciation for good food, there's not much that I'd really be unwilling to eat. I don't have a least favorite food because... well, having a least favorite anything is just kind of a downer. I don't let myself get down about the state of the modern world. Yeah, I may have to eat pepperoni made out of locusts unlike the beef and pork my ancestors had access to, but I have access to technology that can let me dodge bullets. Honestly, it's a worthy trade-off. So, no, I'm not a picky eater. Oh, and I don't have any dietary restrictions either."

15 how big or small is their family? who did they live with growing up? do they live with anyone now?

“When I was 11, my parents died,” she started. “Collateral damage of some robbery. It was unexpected. We lived in Charter Hill—wealthy neighborhood, pretty safe overall.” 

She paused, taking time to choose her words carefully.

“I lived in a government-run orphanage for a while. Fuckin’ shithole. Not for long, though. I had excellent grades. Had extracurriculars, leadership qualities, all that shit that looks good on a college application. And most importantly, both of my parents had held mid-level positions at Arasaka. I was 13 when they offered me a fast track that would eventually lead to the Academy in Night City. Apparently they keep an eye on the children of former employees, if they’re promising anyway.” 

“Look,” she continued. “My parents were good people. They loved me. But they were always… massively overprotective. Wouldn’t let me get any cyberware before I was 16, even though a lot of studies show you actually adapt better if you get it young. Wouldn’t let me get an after school job, even though there haven’t been child labor laws since before I was born. That kinda thing. A lot of corpos want their kids to follow in their footsteps, but to be honest, I don’t think my parents did.”

“Now, Arasaka Academy was completely different.” She grew excited, and she started speaking faster and more insistently. “They definitely didn’t coddle us there. A lot of our combat training was in virtuos, so we couldn’t actually be damaged, but they didn’t filter out the pain. Need something to motivate you to avoid getting shot at, don’t you? And cyberware? Well, we didn’t get it for free, but you could earn it. That and other kinds of useful prizes if you got first place in some exam or training exercise. Got my first pair of Kiroshi that way. The best part was, once you started earning cyberware, you tended to have an advantage against the students who didn’t have any yet. If you could get the proper momentum, it became easier to keep yourself near the top.”

She’d said all that so quickly that she needed to pause for breath.

“The only problem was sometimes I’d wonder if I should feel guilty. If it was wrong of me to be happier now that my parents were dead. But I was. It didn't take long for me to feel like Arasaka was my real family.”

30 do they smell like anything notable?

"Definitely cigarette smoke, for starters. Must be impossible for the scent not to cling to me with how often I smoke. But besides that, I think I mostly just smell clean. I don't really expect my scent would be particularly notable to most people."

[mommasunshines]

I watched Motherland Fort Salem season 1 and 2 last year, waiting for season 3 to drop on Amazon, which it didn't cause it dropped on Disney Plus and I found out right in the middle of my graduation exams. But since I am almost done with them and I needed study breaks sometimes, I have now also watched Season 3 in its entirety.

Before you read this, there will be spoilers for all the seasons and if you disagree with points I made, I ask you to respectfully point them out and not just come down on me with all your fury, I can not judge if representation is accurate if I do not belong to the represented group, I can just appreciate it for existing. I also mean no offense to anyone at all. Thank you.

Now with that said, I wanna share my thoughts on the whole show, and on some little details I really liked.

It was a huge cast with many many BIPOC actors, a lot of important characters where portrayed by people of colour and it was amazing to see a show where there wasn't just a few token people of colour, but really a big diverse cast. I can't judge too much on how well these were portrayed as I myself am white, but it was still nice to see

There was queer representation. There was less queerness than other representation, but there was lesbian main characters, mlm side characters, possibly bi characters, a bit of polyamoury, there was even one Witch that was most likely genderqueer to some extent. M/Medusa said "I could go with the boys to train under the witchfather or the girls to train in basic. Neither of those fit me." It isn't explicitly stating that M is genderqueer or trans in any way, but it was a nice conversation that at least touched on the subject. The queer rep was subtle at times, and maybe not always the best or most, but it was nice to see anyways.

Paganism was also an important part of the worldbuilding. There were little good luck charms, sigils for spells like unlocking a door, all little things, but most importantly there was always the talk of "goddess" instead of the christian god, and pagan holidays were celebrated. Beltane as the festival of spring beginning. It's a festival of fertility as well, so seeing it portrayed as a festival of sex was not too inaccurate. It also was a great way to shoe sexuality in that world and how it is viewed (I'll put a pin in that for now). There was also samhain as the celebration of the dead and beginning of winter. I learned that at samhain, celtic pagans would ask the dead for hints of how the future would be, so the talking with the dead made sense. Yule being a celebrated and important day was also nice. The line about "staying up all night and singing the yule song" from Nicte was especially interesting because it is the longest night of the year, and it is still believed by some Pagans/witches that you should try and stay up until sunrise, so that nothing evil can enter your house or body on the night where the sun is dead.

The Portrayal of Sexuality, not as in queerness but in the sense of sex positivity. Witches were believed to get their powers from having sex wit the devil, so the fact that sex made witches stronger was based in old beliefs. Furthermore, after said sex, Satan was said to give them a witches' mark, which can be seen in the lineage specific marks that the Salem witches carry, since they start shining metallic after they have sex the first time. But overall, sex was seen as something positive and nice, not something evil or shameful. There was no shame in having sex and there was also no shame in having relationships with many, no one was branded a whore, people just cracked jokes about "charging up for battle". And I think it's beautiful to see that.

The storyline was good. At the end of the series I could see how every thing was connected, even details they planted in the first season. Again, I will come back to this to elaborate, but everything was somehow connected and the only real "loose end" I can remember, is that one character disappeared towards the end of season three and we don't know where she went. She died presumably, but no one actually knows.

The worldbuilding and idea were phenomenal. The whole idea of magic and witches being based on voices, that sound carries power thanks to the extra vocal chords some people had was wonderful. But more than that, it was thought through very well. The way to stop magic was to make sure frequencies couldn't escape, the way to store magic like an attack was to put it inside a container that contained air, like a pill bottle, a balloon or a soccer ball. There was also the aspect of manipulation through said witch craft, Salva to fly, whips that turn molten hot, fire to change ones face (which is quite terrifying but amazing at the same time) and much more. The only complaints with this that I have is that we never got a list of the "seeds" used in their "work" cause there was a mention of 72 that were used by the millitary and much more that existed. I wish we could've seen more of that.

The developments in politics in season two and three were downright scary. I would go as far as to say that what was happening there was reminiscent of Germany in the 1930s/40s. BEFORE YOU COME AT ME: I am German and have taken what basically translates to AP History in the states, I have been to seminars and memorial places, I don't take this comparison lightly and I know what I say when I say it. With that said, the way witches were being treated mimics the early stages of prosecution in Germany at that time. They were given red collars that stopped their voices and were meant to identify them. They had curfews, got checked up on by police regularly, and they had to put those collars on their children too. It is similar to the yellow stars Jews had to wear. There was also records of family lines over multiple generations, genealogical research to find out who could be a witch. It was truly dystopian, witches that didn't wear their collars got arrested or beaten, and their mere existence even if they were civilians, was enough to justify all of this. Once again, I am not saying "Oh haha this was the holocaust!" no, I am saying it mimics aspects of how the prosecutions started and some of the cruelty inflicted on the victims. I am speaking from the perspective of someone who has studied this subject for multiple years in school and does not take it lightly. But it brings me to my next thought.

The second and third season of the show showed how popular opinion and support for politicians determine the fate of a nation. While the military was celebrated at the beginning, America began to fall apart slowly, with people turning on the military and on each other. Campaigns to detain the witches and organisations like "Not our Daughters" were sadly more a cautionary tail than pure fiction. It demonstrated how quickly things can go awry and that was dystopian, but also rather realistic.

Something not talked about too often, was that the society was matriarchal rather than patriarchal. It was refreshing to see, women in power and in charge of their lives. I don't have too much to say about this, but seeing a black female president, it was a nice thing to imagine.

Now to details I noticed: (Spoiler warnings)

One: Only women were able to pass down the witch gene/witch ability. Now, both men and women could have it, but only women could pass it on, meaning that it is like mitochondrial DNA, which was a silly detail but something I thought was cool.

Two: Abigail gets called a "Priestess of ancient Truth" by Abdil, which might have been his attempt at flirting, but turned out to be correct, seeing that Abigail was a steward of the First song. I don't know if it was coincidence, but I don't think it was. Either way it was a very nice detail that made me rather happy.

Three: The covens at War College were named after Goddesses, mostly war goddesses. Sekhmet being the coven that Raelle came to was nice because Sekhmet was not just a goddess of war, but also one of healing. Raelle herself was a talented fixer too.

Four: An issue I had was the healing in the Cession being a "christo-pagan" healing. Since the majority of people in the cession are indigenous Americans it made little sense for them to develop witch craft based on the bible. I thought it was a bit weird in general for that to even be a thing, but I guess seeing as they were a pagan based society and Raelle was supposed to have a stronger kind of healing, the closest thing was to pull on christianity. I think it could've been solved better, but not every aspect of a show can be wonderful I guess.

Five: Raelle was supposed to have stronger healing but it harmed her, which confused me until my dad pointed something out. The stronger a magic is, the worse the drawbacks of it are. Her healing damaging her while also fixing something nothing else can fix, it makes sense.

I probably have more, but it's been a while since I saw the first two seasons and I already made this post really long, I just needed to share this all.

[raplinenthusiasts]

Hello 💕💕

I've been meaning to drop in all week to ask you how the concert went and yet I'm doing it just now at the end of the week. So how was it? I hope you had the most wonderful time! How have you been doing in general? Dealing with the heat? Or have there been some summer storms to cool things down?

I'm sorry for all the questions lol I just want to know how you are 😌 I haven't been doing much other than relaxing at home and waiting on a few of my exam grades to be announced still. But I did watch the siperverse films this week! I watched one of them in the cinema too and they were very good, you were right!

Other than that my time has been spent freaking out over whatever Jungkook decides to throw at us and being excited for the new song so yeah.

I hope you're doing well and that next week is lovely for you 💞💞

hii 💛

it was def the loudest concert I've ever been to! and I was at a lot of concerts 😳 energy was great so overall amazing experience! other than that, we have crazy temperatures here lately, I'm just glad i work in office with ac xd

so you're officialy done with your exams? 👀🤷‍♀️ are we ready to pop off the champagne?! i'm glad you're resting now, you deserve it! 🫶 that movies are great! but I was quite shocked at the cliffanger at the end and had to google when the last part will come out…

oh my gosh how did you survive promo? when i saw pictures and then video i had to sit down and breathe - i hope his song will be banger so i can blast it whole summer!

anyway, i'm going on a trip next week so i'm packing already xd i hate packing so let's hope i won't forget anything important 🤞

hope your week will be nice and relaxing and all grades come back just as you hope for 💕

[animehouse-moe]

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End Volume 7 - Trying Too Hard

So yes, I still enjoyed the 7th volume of Frieren a good deal, there's still good parts to it, there's still fun little moments. But, it doesn't change my realization. With this seventh volume, and the break between it and its predecessor, I started to pick up the pieces. I really enjoy Frieren when it's insignificant. I really love when it tells stories in the present that will be lost to the sands of time, when the group stops off to help with some really trivial, really insignificant thing. What I don't like, is the sense of grandeur and scale that they try to impart on certain pieces, especially the past. I wasn't a huge fan of the first class mage exam, but it certainly had its parts. However, the pieces I found most compelling, had almost nothing to do with the actual combat or significance of the moment.

Anyways, to get to the point, the weight of the past, and how much it is visibly shifting and changing the perception of stuff rubs me the wrong way. If the past is really so important as to interject with it every other page, and recount the stories of the same people over and over, is it not then better to just tell those stories?

For reference, in a single volume, Himmel the Hero is featured in longer flashbacks on 6 separate occasions, and that is not counting other flashbacks that are focused on other members of the party specifically such as Heiter or Eisen.

It's because of this, that I've come to be really disinterested in the past. It's not some mystery, it's not even a memory, it's something entirely tangible due to how much it's referenced in the series. The wonder and reason for Frieren's journey feels like it's worn thin in the face of it all. It's not her fondly remembering certain pieces, it's Frieren giving the reader exposition. Very few of these flashbacks are actually suited to be flashbacks. So many of them are better sold coming from the mouths of the characters themselves than to be rehashed visually. It feels low effort, like they didn't know how to handle reminiscing without something to fill the space.

And there ends my rant on the volume. Overall, there's still quite a bit to enjoy, as it continues down the same path as prior volumes. There's the constant reminder of the marching of time, the endless queries and curiosities that Frieren has in her pursuit of odd magic, and the consistently enjoyable dynamic that Frieren, Fern, and Stark share. It's not like the work of the previous volumes evaporates in the face of the realization of the irksome featuring of the past, just that it can get in the way of Frieren being better.

At the end of the day, I still think Frieren is worth reading, though it might not be massively appealing to as many readers as the early volumes make it out to be, and it certainly loses its value as the story continues to reference and remind readers (especially in the visual sense) of the fact that Himmel and the Hero's Party existed. It's far more suited to be a fun slice of life story that has its moments, than for it to try and be some incredibly weighty and impactful story that sees its characters mostly just living life in the present.

[seherstudies]

Hi Seher-senpai,

I take it you study Japanese at university?

Feel like sharing what it's like?

I only took a course back when I was a uni student at a uni of applied science. Since then, I've been dabbling in self-studying but that is kind of hard to keep up at times... I'd like to get back into "proper" studying, so I would like to ask whether you have some tips?

Anyways, thanks for your blog, I just found it and scrolled a little through it. Always cool to meet other JP learners 😊

Sending some good vibes from Bavaria

-Bee

Sorry that it took me some time to get back to you. Life is busy at the moment, oh and servus aus Österreich! :)

I take it you study Japanese at university?

I do! I am a Japanese studies major, so they come in the bundle haha

Feel like sharing what it's like?

Sure thing! Beforehand, I have two types (?) of Japanese classes, Japanische Theorie (Theoretical Japanese), which is held in German, and Japanische Praxis (Practical Japanese), which is entirely in Japanese

The pace can sometimes be a bit too fast for me, sometimes we would do an entire chapter in one lesson.... But overall, I enjoy most parts of my classes!

In Theory, we learn about grammar passively and you could also say about how to translate Japanese into German and it's also profs way to check if we understood the grammar. The exams of the class kill me though. In a semester we have two kanji and two translation exams and I don't know which one is worse lmao The first two few years we only worked with textbooks (we used Bunka Shokyu Nihongo 1+2 and now we use the Advanced Tobira) but now, I am in my last year, we moved on to different types of texts like song lyrics, essays and learn more about slang, spoken Japanese and that sort. I am grateful for that because Tobira can be quite dry at times. It’s definitely my favourite out of the two simply because the prof makes it a heap of fun with his random, while educational, rambles or anecdotes.

Praxis we should learn how to apply the grammar studied in Theory, so we do a lot of grammar exercises (complete the sentences mostly). It certainly helped with building a strong foundation, but I do wish we would… actually use the language in class more ya know. The only “speaking” we do is by reading sentences out loud and I am not sure about my peers, but it certainly doesn’t help me learn how to speak Japanese. We are not learning Japanese to be able to communicate but simply for class where we cover topics you will most likely never have a conversation about. At least I know I will never talk about robots. But I have the feeling that is an issue with most language classes...

I'd like to get back into "proper" studying, so I would like to ask whether you have some tips?

Good question. I had to think about it a bit ngl and I hope some things will be useful to you in a way.

Build discipline while you still have a lot of motivation. The first one or two weeks use apps like Duolingo or Lingodeer simply to build the habit of daily learning. Even better if you can set a specific time every day. For example, every day after dinner it is Anki/Memrise/Lingodeer/etc. o’clock. You HAVE to do a bit every day - even if it's just for 3 minutes. If you teach your brain that sometimes you can skip, then it will try to find excuses to skip another day and soon you will slip.

Have different activities for different levels of energy/attention. This kind of latches on to the previous point. Have core activities you do every day for the sake of progress and on days where you are more motivated and alert, do something that requires more effort and have a set of relaxing activities for your low days to keep your TL floating around in your head.

consistency > efficiency. The best method is not the most optimized one or what someone says is more efficient but the one you actually enjoy and stick to. This also goes when you choose media to consume, read/watch what you enjoy. Keep a healthy mix though: Each medium has it's own speaking style. You won't learn everyday Japanese if you only watch dramas or anime, so include a variety like drama, anime, podcasts, Youtube videos, news etc.

Choose a resource for grammar, vocab etc. and stick with it until the end unless you really don't like it. This video (~12min) by Robin McPherson goes more into depth of the 'Paradox of Choice' and what it means for language learners in this day and age and how you can counter choice paralysis. Japanese is a popular language. Therefore there are many resources out there and it’s easy to start doubting our decision. You see the next shiny thing and want to try that out and often we don’t even think twice about purchasing another textbook because you have heard something good about it. I highly recommend the video!

I can also recommend you this video by Livakivi on how to learn Japanese but it's a general guide. His videos are great! The most important part though is having fun with the language though. Best of luck!

[m1ckeyb3rry]

hii!! First of all ur theme is so aesthetically pleasing and I love all the nagi. I like binge read all of your event works and *chefs kiss*. Could I request a piece for karasu with the theme of like academic rivals/classmates? No worries if not, hoping ur doing well and taking care of urself!

On an unrelated note I saw that post about rude comments and im so sorry that’s happening to you! I honestly don’t know what drives ppl to bother leaving nasty comments esp when it’s not like they’re being forced to read anything T-T Hoping to send you a bit of love to counter those trolls!

── FIVE WAYS TO KILL A CROW

Synopsis: Crows are clingy birds, and Tabito Karasu’s feelings are hurt easier than you realize. (part two here!) (part three here!)

Event Masterlist

Pairing: Karasu x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 9.1k

Content Warnings: academic rivals to lovers, karasu is an asshole, reader is also an asshole, jealous karasu 😍, hiori randomly pulls up at one point for some reason??, yukimiya requests to follow one (1) person and accidentally causes the most dramatic pseudo breakup ever

A/N: anon i used to pray for times like these 😭😩 LMAOAO karasu is my fav (behind nagi ofc) but i’ve never gotten around to writing him so getting this request made me SO excited HAHA. i haven’t done anything rivals/enemies to lovers before so fingers crossed this doesn’t feel too awkward or unrealistic or rushed anything!! and yayyy i love my little nagi theme (and also nagi in general) i’m glad you like it too!! and my writing too, you’re so sweet 🥹 there will always be jerks unfortunately but lovely people like you make it all worth it 💖 thank you again and i hope this is kind of what you were looking for 🫶🏻

Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own.

ONE: POISON IT

You could hardly contain your smile as you sauntered up to Tabito Karasu’s desk, your exam held behind your back. He was sitting by himself — his seat partner was sick this week, from what you had heard, so he had taken the chance to spread out his things and stretch his legs. When he noticed you, he raised his eyebrows, mouth tugging into a frown at your amusement.

“What?” he said. You brandished the paper in front of you, irises sparkling as you leaned over to rest your forearms on the desk.

“I got full marks on the last Chemistry exam,” you said. Karasu made a face at you, snatching the test from your hands and scrunching his face up as he inspected it.

“Seriously?” he said.

“Seriously,” you said. “What did you get?”

He crossed his arms and looked away. “Not telling.”

“You definitely failed!” you said in delight, taking back the exam and laughing at him. “How embarrassing. You failed the easiest test of the year, and yet you consider Chemistry to be one of your best subjects? I can’t wait to see how badly you do during finals week.”

“I did not fail,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I got a ninety-eight.”

“Ninety-eight! That’s even worse than outright failure,” you said. “You were so close to perfection, and yet in the end, you fell short. It must sting for things to work out like that.”

“Yes, I’m positively wounded,” he said dryly before batting his eyelashes at you. From anyone else, the rapid switch in demeanor would’ve left you reeling, but the shifting mood was to be expected from him. “Will you give me a kiss and make it better?”

You rolled up your test and smacked him on the head with it. “No.”

“Anyways, my overall grade in the class is still higher than yours, because rankings were updated today and I’m still number one, so I’m not sure what cause you have to be boasting,” he said.

“Hm, but did you notice who’s number one in Modern Literature?” you said, pulling out your phone and opening the school’s app, which listed each class’s rankings in every subject. “Yup, that’s right, me.”

“Good job, Y/N!” he said, clapping mockingly. “Shall we have a party? It’s a big occasion — the mediocre number two has finally done something of such note that she’s number one for the first time in her life.”

“I’ve been number one plenty of other times!” you snapped. “For your information, I’ve been first in the class in mathematics and history every year since middle school, so who are you to be acting like this is a first? If anyone’s mediocre, it’s you!”

He raised his hands in the air innocently, his trademark smirk gracing his features once more now that he had succeeded in irritating you, as was his typical goal.

“Alright, alright, no need to be upset,” he said. “It’s not good for you. Clouds your judgment.”

“In what way?” you said.

“I mean, somehow, you got the two of us confused,” he said. “And we’re nothing alike.”

“I did no such thing,” you said.

“Well, I seem to recall you calling me mediocre, but between the two of us, the subpar one is obviously you,” he said, flicking your forehead. You slapped his hand away.

“You — the bell is going to ring, so I’m going to go back to my seat, but just so you know, you’re way more mediocre than me, Mr. Two-Percent-Short!” you said.

“Stellar comeback!” he called out. “My ego is bruised beyond healing!”

“Good!” you called back, ignoring the sarcasm. “Maybe it’ll return to a more normal size. Your head has grown too big, it’s almost as ridiculous as that hair of yours!”

“Leave the hair alone!”

During your free period, you decided to go to the library for some peace and quiet to work on your homework and find some of the sources you needed for your next research project. For belonging to a high school, the library was surprisingly extensive, and you had managed to find relevant information for every other project you had ever done in it, so you had high hopes. Unfortunately, it seemed this latest assignment was more obscure than anything you had completed before, so on your second lap of the shelves where the books, if they existed, would be located, you resigned yourself to giving up.

Just then, a volume caught your eye. The cover was shiny and pristine, the spine still unbent with newness. Crouching, you pulled it out, and when you saw the title emblazoned across the cover in bright yellow lettering, you began to laugh, making a beeline to the checkout counter with it tucked under your arm.

“Hey, Y/N! How was your morning?” your best friend said as you set your things down next to her in the cafeteria. You hummed in agreement, searching the room for a familiar head of dark hair. “You good? Looking for someone? Let me guess: your secret boyfriend that you’re keeping from the rest of us.”

“Yeah, I’m looking for Karasu,” you said before the rest of her words registered. “No!”

“You’re finally coming out and saying it?” she said, holding her hands to her heart and pretending to swoon. “I’ve been waiting for you to confess.”

“He’s not my secret boyfriend that I’m keeping from everyone, I’m just looking for him!” you said.

“Could’ve fooled me,” she said. “What do you need him for, anyways?”

“I got a book for him in the library,” you said.

“Right, and this is the guy you hate? Your ‘mortal enemy’ or whatever?” she checked.

“Yes,” you said.

“But you…got a book for him from the library, and now you’re looking for him so that you can give it to him?” she said. You scoffed.

“When you put it like that, it sounds different than it really is,” you said. “Trust me, this isn’t a nice gesture or anything. You can consider it revenge.”

“When are you going to get over this stupid rivalry?” she said. “He’s not even that bad, you know.”

“Not even that bad? Not even that bad? Are we talking about the same Karasu here? I’m referring to Tabito, not his older sister,” you said.

“Ah, I think so? He’s a nice guy,” she said.

“He is the spawn of the devil! And he’s the one who started it, so I’ll stop hating him once he apologizes and means it,” you said.

“Do you think he even remembers that?” she said. “It was in middle school.”

You glared at her. “I remember it. If he doesn’t, well, that’s just more of a reason for me to dislike him on principle.”

“Okay, okay, whatever you say,” she said. “Sorry for complimenting him. He’s awful and rude and mean. I think he’s sitting outside with some of his soccer friends, if you still want to find him.”

“Thank you!” you said, instantly forgetting that you were upset with her for taking Karasu’s side instead of yours. “Watch my stuff, okay? I’ll be right back.”

“See you soon,” she said. “Have fun. Actually, maybe it’s more realistic for me to just tell you not do anything that’ll get you expelled.”

You waved her off as you marched out to the courtyard where Karasu and his friends were lounging, their chairs positioned in the shade so that they did not overheat while they ate. None of them noticed you approaching until you were tapping Karasu on the shoulder and smiling at him sweetly.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” he said, sounding oddly flustered. One of his friends snorted, and more than a few chuckled, but you ignored all of them in favor of setting your bag on the armrest of Karasu’s chair.

“Hi, Karasu. I was in the library earlier and I saw this book that reminded me of you, so I took the liberty of checking it out,” you said.

“Oh,” he said. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“You’re so considerate, Y/N!” one of his friends said.

“We’re all so jealous of Karasu here,” another friend, the one who you believed had snorted, said. “You’re way too pretty for him.”

“Shut up,” Karasu said, sticking up his middle finger at his friend, though none of the group paid him much mind. In fact, it seemed to egg them on more, as they continued to hurl jabs at Karasu while simultaneously incessantly complimenting you.

You didn’t respond to any of them, instead pulling out the book and handing it to Karasu, interlacing your fingers and waiting for his reaction. At first he seemed confused, and then dismay dawned upon his features as he realized what he was holding in his hands: a copy of Chemistry for Dummies.

“What the fuck?” he said. You patted him on the shoulder.

“It’s only suitable,” you said. Suddenly, his expression cleared, and he beamed at you, which caused unease to brew in your stomach. You knew for a fact that he was about to say something infuriating, and you mentally prepared yourself to respond.

“What a roundabout way of telling me you need tutoring! Of course, I’m happy to help you anytime you want,” he said, tilting back in his chair so that he could cross his arms over his chest arrogantly.

“Why would I want tutoring from someone who does worse than me in the class?” you shot back, crossing your own arms in retaliation.

One of his friends whistled. “She got you there, Tabito.”

“Enough out of you,” Karasu said through gritted teeth. His friend winked at you and mouthed ‘nice one.’

“Look, man, all I’m saying is that if you want to ask out such a beautiful girl, you’ve gotta have a little more finesse than that!” he said.

“He can have all the finesse in the world, but I’d still say no,” you said. His friends hollered with raucous laughter, which caused Karasu’s face to turn red, but you only pressed the book into his hands. “It’s due in two weeks. That should be long enough, right? Make sure you return it on time, please, I don’t want late fines.“

“I hope you go into debt because of this stupid book,” he said.

“Aww,” you cooed. “You’ll be the one paying it off, so it doesn’t matter to me. See you around, Karasu — or, hopefully not.”

TWO: SHOOT IT

You and Karasu had met in middle school. The two of you had been assigned to work on a presentation together, and he had told you during your first meeting that because you were a dunce, you should just listen to him and do whatever he said. Ever since that day, you had done everything you could to show him how much better than him you were; for his part, he found great joy in getting on your nerves and so took part in every argument with pleasure.

You had long ago proved his middle school self wrong, by anyone’s standards, but at this point it was a habit for you to hate Tabito Karasu as well as a habit for him to hate you back. And of course, habits were hard to form but harder to break, so you would probably continue in that manner until the day you graduated and left him behind for good.

It was just the two of you who did not get along. Your friends were cordial with him and his ilk, and you did not really mind his little group all that much, crude though they sometimes were. After all, it was just in the manner of teenage boys, and when they were not taking advantage of your presence to make fun of Karasu, they were actually a pretty agreeable sort.

In fact, your friend groups tended to coexist most of the time, even having lunch together every now and again — though they were always careful to ensure that you and Karasu were kept entirely separate, or else you both were guaranteed to ruin the cheerful camaraderie with your sharp tongues and quick tempers. The measures they took were admirable, but unfortunately, they were not always enough. After all, what were precautions when compared with inevitabilities?

“Oh my god!” you squealed. “Guys! Oh my god, oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening?”

“Can’t believe what’s happening?” your best friend said, speaking for everyone at the table. They were all tuned in to you now, wondering what the big news might be that would bring about such a reaction from you, given how put-together you tended to be.

“Do you remember that one model I happened to meet while I was out last weekend? Kenyu Yukimiya? He just requested to follow me on social media!” you said.

“No way!” your best friend said.

“Way!” you said. The only warning you got was an arm pressing against your back, and then your phone was abruptly snatched from your hands. You gasped, spinning in your seat and scowling when you realized that the culprit was none other than that scavenging crow, Tabito Karasu.

“What the hell? He’s average at best, why are you so excited?” he said, scrolling through Yukimiya’s profile, his eyes narrowed critically. “Y/N, don’t you have any standards?”

“You’re probably the only person in the entire country who doesn’t find him gorgeous,” you said, exhaling dreamily as you took your phone back from him and stared at the artful manner Yukimiya was posing in for his profile photo. “He was even better looking in person. And sonice, too! They don’t make men like that often.”

Karasu frowned and swiped at your phone again. You held it out of his reach, reaching across the bench to press your foot against his chest, effectively holding him back from further attempts at thievery.

“Let me look at him again!” he said.

“Um, no,” you said. “I don’t need you making more fun of him. I know you’re jealous, but expressing it like this only makes you uglier, just so you know.”

“Looks like they’re back at it again,” one of your friends said, massaging her temples.

“Yup,” one of Karasu’s teammates said.

“Ugly? Ugly? You’re calling me ugly? Have you looked in a mirror recently? Also, get your gross shoe off of my shirt!” Karasu said.

“I have looked in a mirror recently, actually, and incidentally I’ve also been keeping an eye on my follow requests. Guess what? I’m obviously good looking, since a legitimate model wants to follow me! How many celebrities request to follow you, huh? I bet the answer is zero!” you said, though you did do him the favor of swinging your leg back, allowing him to brush himself off in disdain.

“Lots of soccer players want to follow me,” he said. “I’m quite good, you know.”

“That doesn’t count,” you said. “It has nothing to do with how you look. They’d request to follow you no matter how hideous and poorly styled you and your hair are.”

“Are they seriously arguing about which of them is worse looking?” Karasu’s teammate said.

“I suppose so,” your friend said. “They’re both really hot, though, so I don’t know what the big deal is…”

“Geez, they’ll take any excuse to go at it, huh?” Karasu’s teammate said.

“Pretty much,” your friend said.

“Guess all of that tension has to go somewhere,” his teammate said.

“Exactly,” your friend said, shaking her head as she finished up her lunch.

“That model probably only works for horror magazines!” Karasu said. “It barely even counts!”

“He was in Vogue Japan,” you said smugly. “Look it up, stupid.”

“So what?” he said.

“So he’s handsome,” you said. “Like I said, it’s okay if you’re envious of him, as long as you accept it instead of doing this whole weird denial thing. I don’t blame you for it — in fact, I thought you would be. You don’t have much going for you overall, do you? In all honesty, it’s only natural for you to feel like this when faced with what you lack.”

Karasu’s eyes widened, and then he stood abruptly, picking up his bag with one arm and haphazardly pulling it onto his back. “Goodbye.”

“Bye,” you said, not really caring one way or another what he did with himself. Actually, you would prefer it if he wasn’t there, interrupting your meal and your daydreaming about your impending romance with Kenyu Yukimiya.

“Wow, Y/N,” your best friend said once Karasu was gone. “You’re kind of dumb, you know that?”

“What are you talking about?” you said.

“It’s not her fault,” another one of Karasu’s teammates said. “He’s not much better.”

“Huh?” you said.

“Never mind,” your best friend said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I have a migraine now.”

“Want some ibuprofen?” Karasu’s teammate said. She accepted it gratefully, and nothing more was said on the subject. The rest of lunch passed in a peaceful manner, though strangely, Karasu did not return.

It should’ve made you happy. You wondered, then, why it felt so odd without him there, like there was a gaping maw sitting in the place that should’ve been occupied by him.

THREE: DROWN IT

Ever since the day that Yukimiya had requested to follow you, you and Karasu hadn’t spoken. He refused to make eye contact with you in the few classes the two of you had together, keeping his gaze lowered to his work and his shoulders hunched away from you. You didn’t even try to talk to him; something told you that it would not be well-received, and you weren’t anywhere near confrontational enough to bring up his odd behavior, so the time without him dragged on and on, seemingly without end.

At first, you were happy, and you told your friends as much. It was a much-needed break from the constant aggravation he brought you, and you found your classes without your competition to be almost boring in their simplicity.

“The more you say you’re happy that you and Karasu aren’t talking, the less it sounds believable,” your best friend said, taking a sip from her juice box.

“Believe it! This is what I’ve been wanting since middle school,” you said.

“Is it?” she said. “It sounds like you’re kind of upset.”

“Am not!” you said. She shrugged.

“Sure,” she said, drawing out the word. “Definitely not.”

“Why would I be upset?” you said.

“You tell me,” she said.

“I’m telling you that I’m not upset. You’re the one with the theory, so give me some evidence to substantiate it,” you said.

“Fine,” she said. “You talk about him all of the time, even when you guys are getting along — or, at least, your twisted little version of being friendly, which isn’t friendly by anyone else’s standards but it seems to work for you two, so I won’t comment further. You keep telling us that you’re so delighted he’s leaving you alone, but you do this thing with your face when you say it that makes it super obvious you’re not. It’s not the kind of behavior you’d display when discussing someone you hate as much as you claim to hate him. Finally, there’s a reason half the school thinks you guys are dating, and it’s not just the obvious aesthetic appeal of that match.”

“What? I thought you were just trying to bother me when you brought that up!” you said. She shook her head.

“No, it’s a common misconception. It’s why no one’s ever asked you out. They all think you’re already taken. Actually, the other day, a guy asked me if I thought he might have a chance with you now that you and Karasu had broken up,” she said.

“What’d you say?” you said, half in horror, half in fascination.

“I told him probably not, and that you and Karasu hadn’t broken up, because you were never together in the first place,” she said.

“Oh, okay,” you said.

“Should I have said something else?” she said. You shook your head.

“No,” you said. “What else would you have said?”

“Dunno,” she said. “Look, you need to cheer up. I’m sure that if you just try to talk to him, things will go back to normal in an instant. Then you can return to complaining about him like usual.”

“Talk to him? About what?” you said. She gave you an incredulous look.

“You were pretty mean to him the other day, Y/N,” she said.

“It wasn’t any meaner than what he says to me on the regular,” you said. “And what I say to him in return. I don’t see why he’d be more or less offended.”

“I think it was a little worse than what you typically say,” she said. “Plus, the context was different.”

“How so?” you said. She shook her head.

“That’s for him to explain, not me,” she said. “Come on, don’t be stubborn. Work things out with him. I miss hanging out with the guys.”

“Ah, so that’s why it matters to you,” you said. “Sorry to say it, but I don’t have any plans at attempting conversation with him anytime soon. Like I said, things are finally calm and stress-free for me. He’s the one being immature, as always, so why’s it up to me to make things better?”

“Immature?” your best friend said. “You’ve held a grudge against him since middle school.”

“And?” you said. She squinted at you before pursing her lips.

“Well, I guess the two of you really are made for one another,” she said.

“What?”

The next week would mark the beginning of the swimming unit in PE class, which you were actually looking forward to. You loved to swim, you had ever since you were a child and your parents had brought you into the water for the first time, and the thought of getting to earn a good grade for something you liked doing in the first place was an agreeable on.

In preparation, you decided to stop by the pool after classes were over so that you could acclimate yourself to the motions of the strokes once again. The swim team’s practice had been canceled, and no one else ever used the pool, so you would have the place to yourself, which was just about the closest thing to heaven you could imagine while still living on Earth.

Changing into your school-issued bathing suit and putting your things into a locker, you tied your hair back so that it was out of the way and stepped into the steaming indoor pool deck. The water was a bright cerulean shade, the lanes split by lane-lines which alternated colors to match your school’s emblem. When you dipped your toe into the deep end, you found it was warm, not cold like you had feared. The school didn’t splurge on heating the water of the rarely-used pool, so usually, it was all but freezing. You supposed that they must’ve had complaints from last year’s PE classes, so they had restarted the heaters in order to ensure that no one had any cause to whine about the temperature this year.

For a moment, you just sat on the tiled edge, your legs swishing about in the water, the heels of your palms pressing against the lip of the pool as you closed your eyes and luxuriated in the tangy scent of chlorine. So lost were you that you almost didn’t notice the door swinging open, but the clang of it shutting was unmistakable. Thinking it must’ve been a confused swim team member showing up to a practice that wasn’t happening, you opened your eyes, your lips parting to issue a reprimand that died before it could take shape.

It wasn’t a swim team member. It was Tabito Karasu, wearing a pair of swim trunks and nothing else, his jaw taut and his fists clenched as he inched towards the water. He hadn’t even noticed you, and you didn’t feel inclined to announce yourself, so you let your elbows dig into your thighs, your chin resting in your hands as you observed him.

You had known that he played soccer almost as long as you had known his name. It was the entire reason he was so popular and well-regarded in the school, and an inextricable part of his identity, but until now, you hadn’t quite considered what that actually meant. After all, you only ever saw him in the loose, modest clothing of the school’s uniform, so why would you jump to the conclusion that he was so — so — well, you were loath to admit it, but he had a striking body, and, now that he wasn’t being all cocky and maddening, you could appreciate that even his face was of a similar quality.

Blinking, you cocked your head as he extended a graceful foot towards the first stair leading into the shallow end. Water splashed against it, and he yanked it back like he had been scalded. You could not help yourself from giggling as he did this once and then twice again. On the third attempt, you forgot that the two of you weren’t acknowledging one another and cupped your hands around your mouth to amplify your voice.

“What are you doing?” you said.

“Who — Y/N? I didn’t realize anyone else was in here!” he said, stepping back from the pool and straightening his shorts, though there was nothing wrong with them that required straightening. You sprang to your feet and walked over to him, leaving wet footprints in your wake as you peered at him curiously.

“I was just going to do some laps to ensure that I’m at my best for the swimming unit next week. Did you have the same idea?” you said.

“Something like that,” he said.

“What’s with that whole ritual, though?” you said. “It’s not that cold. You should just get in.”

“Definitely not,” he said. You furrowed your brow.

“Okay,” you said. “Why are you at the pool, then, if you don’t want to go in the water?”

“It’s nothing you need to be concerned with!” he said. “Why are you so nosy? Just go away.”

“I was here first,” you said.

“Fine,” he said, spinning on his heel. “I’ll go, then.”

“Wait! Karasu, wait,” you said, grabbing onto his wrist as he made to leave. “Look, we don’t have to talk to one another or anything. We’re experienced enough at ignoring each other, so there’s not an issue in both of us being here.”

“Is that what you want?” he said.

“Yeah, sure,” you said. He swallowed hard, his throat bobbing, and you thought he would say something, but he only nodded curtly.

“Fine,” he said. You gave him an expectant look, but he did not move from the spot he was rooted in, so you thought that you might as well take the initiative. Looping around to the deep end, you inhaled and then dove into the water headfirst, staying under for as long as you could before finally surfacing and allowing yourself to settle into the familiar undulations that came with swimming.

After a few laps, you took a break, peeking up over the concrete to look at Karasu, who was still standing stubbornly in place, his nose wrinkling whenever he glanced at the pool.

“Hey,” you said. “Are you scared of the water or something?”

He froze. “Who told you that?”

“No one?” you said. “It’s pretty easy to tell as an onlooker. Were you planning on trying to get over your fear by coming to swim when no one was here? That’s dangerous if you don’t know how. You could drown.”

“I’m not scared of the water,” he said.

“Really? Then why’re you just standing there?” you said. His mouth opened and closed a few times, and then finally he hung his head in reluctant defeat.

“Whatever,” he said. Judging by the way he tensed immediately after the confession, he was expecting you to say something cruel, but you only boosted yourself out of the water and tapped him on the shoulder.

“I can help you, if you’d like,” you said. “I’m good at swimming.”

“Why would I want your help? And why would you even offer it in the first place? This is just one more subject you can beat me in, and that’s all you care about, so save it,” he said. “Congratulations, Y/N. You get to be number one this time.”

He looped a dry towel around his neck and left you standing alone, shivering and dripping pool water, a puddle forming around your feet as you gazed at the door he had vanished through.

The class rankings updated again after the swimming unit was over. You were in first place. Karasu didn’t even make it to the top ten. You wanted to celebrate the victory — it was the first time you had beaten him so thoroughly, after all — but for some reason, it didn’t really feel like something worth celebrating.

FOUR: STONE IT

School without Karasu was lonelier than you thought it would be. You hadn’t realized just how much you relied on him until he wasn’t there anymore. Without him, there wasn’t anyone you could exchange looks with across the room when somebody said something ridiculous in class. There wasn’t anyone who you could talk to in the minutes before the period began. There wasn’t anyone who made you push yourself to be better. What was the point of being first if Karasu wasn’t on your heels, ensuring that you stayed on the top for fear of losing to him? It was boring and lonely to try if he wasn’t doing the same.

You and he were still one and two, but it didn’t matter much anymore. The rankings were just numbers. They didn’t mean anything when Karasu still refused to even exchange pleasantries with you. Why would you want to compete when the other party didn’t share your interest? Now, if you managed to pull out ahead of him, it felt more like you had kicked a dog that was already down than if you had actually won anything. When he got first over you, it didn’t fuel your ambition any. You just wished he would come over and gloat instead of sitting there so solemnly, like none of it had ever mattered to him in the first place.

You couldn’t understand why he was so angry. What had you said that was so egregious? You hardly remembered the conversation you had had with him, it was that thoughtlessly done. You really hadn’t meant much if anything by it. One second, the two of you had been squabbling as you were prone to doing, and the next, he was so furious that he couldn’t bear to interact with you even still.

The day you were ambushed was nondescript. It was just like any other Wednesday, and you were walking back home from school when you were forced to stop in your tracks. A tall man — no, he was a boy, probably a year or two younger than you based on his soft and innocent expression — was barring your way, his arms outstretched and feet planted firmly in the ground to prove the depth of his conviction. He had pale hair and sky-colored eyes framed by the longest eyelashes you had ever seen on anyone, man or woman, with a small mouth pinched into an expression of discontent and lines like tire tracks between his eyebrows.

“Who are you?” you said warily, reaching for your phone, though you hardly knew who you would call. The setting was wrong for this to be a mugging, as it was sunny out and you were on a well-traveled street, but you didn’t really know what else to expect from the stranger, who could certainly outmuscle you if it came to it despite his lovely appearance.

“Yo Hiori,” he said. “I play on Bambi Osaka with Karasu. You’re Y/N L/N, correct?”

“Oh, one of the soccer guys?” you said. “Uh, hey. Yes, that’s me. Is something the matter? I’ve never seen you before. How do you even know who I am?”

“I’ve been watching Karasu for a while,” Hiori said with the utmost of seriousness, his hands dropping to his sides now that he was sure you weren’t going to run past him. “He’s a pretty fascinating person.”

“I’m sure,” you said, thinking to yourself that this Hiori kid was more than a little weird. Did Karasu know that he had acquired such a shadow? You supposed he must’ve. He had always been the observant type, so there was no way someone like Hiori would’ve escaped his keen notice.

“He’s been kind of down in the dumps recently, though. Even our coach noticed it. His playing hasn’t suffered too dramatically, but he’s the captain of the team, so he’s the guy everyone relies on for a funny pep talk or a word of advice when things are going south. Nowadays, however, when he’s off the field, he just sulks,” Hiori explained.

“I see,” you said. “That’s terrible.”

You meant it, too. Karasu without his asshole quips and ready jokes was a different person entirely. A person who you missed more than you could let on, even to yourself.

“It is,” Hiori said. “I took it upon myself to do some digging, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason is you.”

He was definitely a freak. You vowed to bring it up with Karasu, if he ever talked to you again. Even if he was already aware, it felt like a moral or civic duty of yours to ensure that he was fully informed about the extent that this child was inquiring into his life.

“What kind of, uh, digging do you mean?” you said, neatly avoiding the second thing he had said.

“It was pretty simple,” Hiori said. “One of the guys asked Karasu if he was acting off because he broke up with his girlfriend or something, and he got so mad that he left practice early. I opened up social media as soon as I got home and saw that you’re the only girl he follows, so by process of elimination, I figured the two of you were having some trouble in your relationship.”

“Relationship? I think you’re misunderstanding,” you said. “There’s no relationship. You could hardly even consider us friends.”

“Oh!” Hiori said. “I’m sorry. He’s mentioned you once or twice, so I just thought — and given what he said — and his reaction and all — no, I really am just sorry. It was wrong of me to make that assumption in the first place.”

“It’s alright,” you said. “I’m told it’s a relatively common misconception, so I can’t blame you. At least, it used to be. We haven’t really spoken in a while, so I guess everything thinks that it’s over, even though it never began in the first place.”

“You haven’t spoken in a while?” Hiori said. “Why not?”

“I think I said something that offended him, and we haven’t been on good terms since. Not that we ever really were in the first place,” you said.

“You did? He’s a pretty rational person, so it must’ve been something terrible for him to still be angry about it,” Hiori said.

“Maybe, but I don’t remember saying anything like that,” you said.

“What if you tell me how your last conversation went? Maybe I can help you,” he said.

“Sure, since you’re apparently the resident Karasu expert,” you said. “Wanna walk with me? I was heading home, but we can go to the convenience store and get some snacks or something instead. I don’t want to get in trouble for standing around in front of some random person’s house for too long.”

“Sounds good,” Hiori said. “There’s one a couple of minutes away, so we can head in that direction and keep talking as we go.”

“Great,” you said. “Okay, so the last time we talked…I think it was when Kenyu Yukimiya requested to follow me.”

“Who’s that?” Hiori said.

“He’s this model I met while I was shopping one day. Absolutely breathtaking,” you said. “Just really a stand-up guy. We’ve hung out a few times since then, he introduced me to the girlfriend I did not know he had, the works.“

“Yikes, unrequited love?” Hiori said with a wince.

“It was more of a celebrity crush. His girlfriend is super sweet, though, so I can’t complain. Anyways, I would consider them both casual acquaintances. The type you call to have a coffee with, but not the ones that help you move into a new apartment, you know?” you said.

“Uh, sure,” Hiori said in a tone which suggested he had no idea what you were talking about but was too scared to inquire further.

“Moving on, Yukimiya requested to follow me, and of course this was at the peak of my celebrity crush, so I started fawning over him, which prompted Karasu to take my phone and start insulting him,” you said.

“Interesting,” Hiori said.

“Then I called him ugly, and he called me ugly — that’s pretty standard for the two of us, so don’t look so shocked! After that, I said something about how I had expected him to be jealous of Yukimiya, since he didn’t have much going for him overall, so it made sense,” you said. “That’s when he left and things got weird.”

“Okay, I think I get it,” Hiori said. You waited for him to explain further. He smiled at you pleasantly.

“Right, so are you going to share with the class or am I meant to read your mind?” you said after a moment.

“I don’t want to give anything away that I shouldn’t,” he said. “But it’s a pretty simple issue to fix. Try thinking about what you said from his perspective.”

“He has a dumbass perspective. It’s impossible for me to think that way,” you said automatically.

“Do you think that he dislikes you?” Hiori said, taking two bottles of Yakult down from the shelf, handing one to you and keeping the other for himself.

“I’m not really sure how he feels about me, to tell you the truth,” you said.

“I don’t think he does,” Hiori said. “So, try thinking about someone you like and then imagine them saying to you what you said to them. Would you be inclined to be nice to them after that?”

“Well…” Your tongue was heavy and leaden in your mouth, and you ducked your head as you searched through your wallet for money. “No, not at all. I’d probably hate them for a really long time. Maybe forever.”

“That’s possible,” he said.

“Do you think he’ll hate me forever?” you said.

“Most likely not. Like I said earlier, he’s a rational person. I think that if you say sorry and sincerely mean it, he’ll forgive you. There’s a chance he won’t, though; you’ll have to listen to what he says and accept it,” Hiori said.

“But when? I hardly have the chance to see him in school. He just avoids me, and the building’s so big that it’s all but impossible to track him down!” you said.

“We have a soccer game in the evening today,” Hiori said. “I’m heading over there in a bit. Wanna come? You can talk to him once it’s over.”

“Am I allowed to?” you said.

“Why wouldn’t you be?” Hiori said. “If anyone says anything, just tell them I invited you. Here, I’ll give you the address and time now, and you can decide if you want to show up.”

“Okay,” you said, typing out his instructions in your notes app. “Thanks a lot for your help, Hiori.”

“Anytime!” he said. “Hope to see you at the game!”

“Even if I don’t go, I’d still like to meet you again. You’re a pretty cool kid,” you said, reaching up to ruffle his hair. “Kind of weird, if I’m being fully honest, but cool nonetheless. Karasu’s lucky to have a teammate like you.”

He grinned, and it was a tender, shy thing, as if he was earnestly seeking your praise or approval — like how a cat would bring a dead rat to its master or a child would show their parents a treasured drawing. “Thank you. Even if you don’t try to talk to Karasu…maybe you can still come anyways?”

“Alright, then,” you said. “Since you asked so nicely, I guess I have to. I’ll be there.”

FIVE: TAME IT

The sun was nearing the horizon, but it still had not officially begun to set by the time you settled in the bleachers on Bambi Osaka’s side. Besides a couple of women your mother’s age and an elderly man who must’ve been someone’s grandfather, there weren’t any other spectators. Hiori had mentioned that this wasn’t a particularly serious game, as they didn’t even need to beat the team to make it to Nationals, so it was more like a friendly exhibition game than anything — hence the low turnout.

“Hello, dear,” a woman said when she noticed you sitting by yourself. “Are you friends with one of the players?”

“Yes. Um, Tabito Karasu? I’m his classmate,” you said. Technically, you were there on Hiori’s goodwill, not Karasu’s, but for you to not mention Karasu would be like a betrayal. You weren’t sure if it was him or yourself that you’d be betraying, but either way you did not want to chance it.

“You’re one of Karasu’s friends? Lucky you, then,” she said. “He’s a delightful boy, or so I’ve heard. This is my son’s first year on the team, and he was really nervous to join such a prestigious organization, but ever since his first day, all he can talk about is how amazing his captain is. Karasu’s tough on all of the players, but he really works hard to make all of them feel welcomed, too.”

Bambi Osaka’s team took the field, and you smiled when you saw Karasu in the front, his name across the back of his jersey, a pair of black gloves covering his large hands, an insolent leer on his face as he greeted the other team’s captain. He had not noticed you yet, and you were not sure if this was for the better or worse, because you wanted him to see you, but you didn’t want him to be distracted and play poorly as a result.

“He’s a wonderful person,” you agreed. “He’s the only one in the entire school who can keep up with me, academically or otherwise. I didn’t realize until recently how much I admire him for that.”

The woman’s eyes crinkled around the corners with the ease that came from a lifetime of happiness. For some reason, you thought that she knew something you did not, or could not, but it wasn’t uncomfortable that she did. It seemed to you that being left in the dark was just your lot this time around, and you found that oddly enough, it felt acceptable.

“Is this your first time coming to watch him?” she said.

“Yes, it is,” you said.

“You know, he has this habit before every match of scanning the stands, like he’s looking for someone. I thought it might be his parents, but at the last match, just about his entire family showed up, and he still seemed disappointed,” she said.

“That’s a shame,” you said noncommittally, not sure what else you should say. The woman shrugged.

“Well, I wonder what it’ll be like today,” she said. “There he goes.”

True to her words, Karasu was craning his neck towards the Bambi Osaka side, his eyes darting from person to person until they settled on you. You raised your hand hesitantly, waving at him, knowing that he probably wouldn’t reciprocate.

He turned away almost immediately, but not before you saw him fight back a smile — not the smug type he generally donned, but one you had only ever seen on him once or twice. It was one that made him seem charming and boyish and sweet, that made you want to take back every negative word you had ever said about him. Only now could you understand that it showed who he really was, that at his heart Karasu was that kind of person, not anything like the facade you were so accustomed to, which he showed you for the sole reason that it was what you unconsciously demanded of him.

You had judged him to be horrible, and so he became the bane of your existence. You had told him he was good for nothing, so he disappeared like he really was just that. Everything you said, Karasu went along with gamely, and you wished you could’ve known that earlier, so you would’ve spent less time hating him and more time comprehending these intricacies, which entranced you in the way a spider’s web entranced a butterfly.

“Looks like I don’t need to worry about that child any more,” the woman said as the referee blew the whistle to signal the start of the game.

“Pardon?” you said. “Were you talking to me?”

“No, no,” she said, shaking her head. “I was just musing to myself. Ignore me. Let’s watch the game; I have a feeling that some of our players are going to go all out today.”

Bambi Osaka completely annihilated the other team. Maybe the match didn’t matter, but none of them played that way; instead, they were aggressive and focused, with Karasu at the forefront of every goal they made, commending his teammates and deriding his opposition in the same breath.

That was something you had not expected — he had a massively foul mouth when he played soccer. You had thought that he was rude when he spoke to you, but the things you overheard from him whenever he ran by within earshot made your conversations seem tame. You couldn’t help but pity the poor defenders that he shoved past and spat barbed-wire abuse at.

He was merciless and beautiful and you could probably spend a dozen more hours watching him play without even a trace of boredom, but by the time the sky had turned gold and the sun had dipped towards the ground, the game was over and the members of Bambi Osaka were packing up their things to leave for the night after yet another landslide win.

You snuck onto the field once you were extremely assured that nobody would be upset with you for it, making your way over to where Karasu was chugging a bottle of water.

“Hi,” you said when he was finished, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and tossing the now-empty bottle into his bag. “You played really well.”

“Thanks,” he said. There was impatience but also longing in his voice, like he wanted you to say something so badly but he knew you would not, would never, and so he would rather get the conversation over with and move on with the business of his life than stick around and waste time with you.

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“What?” he said.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “Karasu, I’m really sorry. I don’t think that you have nothing going for you. I don’t know why I said that. Well, I do, it’s because I wanted to have the last word like I always do, but I don’t mind if I don’t have it this time. Or any other time. Or ever again.”

“What?” he repeated, as though he had been rendered dumb by your confession.

“I miss you,” you admitted. “I didn’t believe I could, but apparently, I can, and I do. A lot. I know that I’m unpleasant and disparaging and haughty when it comes to you, but I won’t be that way anymore if you forgive me for my vices one last time. If it means you’ll talk to me, I’ll be a fool. I’ll be in second place. I’ll be an idiot. But please, please forgive me.”

He took a deep breath. You handed him the bottle of kombucha that you had bought on your way to the game because you saw him drink it so frequently that you figured he must like it. He accepted it gingerly, holding it with the delicacy of a newborn, unscrewing the lid and sipping on it pensively.

“Alright,” he said.

“Alright?” you said.

“I’ll forgive you,” he said. “But on one condition.”

“Anything,” you said.

“You better not do anything as dumb as trying to be mediocre on purpose because you think it’ll make me feel better. What the hell is that proposition, huh? It’ll make me feel worse if anything! I like you because you’re unpleasant and disparaging and haughty and whatever else you said, not in spite of those qualities. I’m sure you heard me while I was playing…anyone who isn’t you would probably be terrified of me when I’m like that,” he said. “Just, y’know, I’m a person with feelings, too, so keep that in mind if you can. Oh, and don’t wait so long to say sorry next time, because it’s seriously annoying for me to feel all out-of-sorts for ages!” he said.

“That’s it?” you said.

“That’s it,” he said. “Hug?”

Ordinarily, you would’ve said no, but you were so weepy at the reconciliation that you nodded and let him embrace you, his arms caging you against his chest, holding you to him so that you could not escape.

“Ew!” you shouted when you registered what he was trying to do, shoving him off of you as he cackled and released you without much of a fight. “Gross, Karasu, you’re disgusting! Get away from me! I can’t believe you did that!”

“I can’t believe you fell for it!” he said as you frantically tried to wipe yourself off, though it was largely in vain. In your emotional state, you had forgotten that he was still drenched with sweat from the game, and you were now reaping the consequences of your poor decision making.

“You’re a bad person,” you said.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said. “Whatever you say.”

“I probably deserved that one, though, so I won’t hold it against you,” you said.

“Smart decision,” he said. “Wait. Unrelated, but whatever ended up happening between you and that model dude? What was his name again?”

“Yukimiya? He has a girlfriend,” you said. “Oh, well. What can you do, right? I’m not upset about it. Besides, everyone and their mother thinks I have a boyfriend already, so it’s probably for the best that it worked out like this. I wouldn’t want his modeling career to be ruined by home-wrecking allegations or anything.”

“It must be a pretty serious not-relationship you’ve got there, if it’s the career-ending type,” he said.

“I’d say it’s pretty serious, yes,” you said. “He’s an awesome guy. You’d like him.”

“I’ll respect it, then,” he said. “But…if you ever find yourself not-breaking up with him, then, uh, let me know. I’ll take you on a date somewhere. We can argue and reminisce about the day we met over dinner or something. It’ll be super romantic.”

He said it casually, but you were more familiar with him than either of you ever could’ve predicted you’d be. He was secretly nervous about how big of a risk he had taken, fiddling with the zipper of his soccer bag, avoiding your eyes while he waited for your response. You let the silence stretch on for a minute, just to make him squirm, and then you poked him in the ribs.

“Karasu,” you said.

“What’s up?” he said, and he must’ve been trying very hard to keep his cool, but his anxiety transmitted through the endearing crack of his voice.

“I have to tell you something,” you said.

“Go ahead,” he said.

“I’m not-single now,” you said. “So. Will you take me on a date this weekend?”

He lit up, so bright that you were all but blinded by the brilliance of his joy. Then he cleared his throat and pretended to check the non-existent watch on his wrist.

“You’re in luck,” he said. “That works for me. I’ll pick you up on Saturday for dinner.”

“Great,” you said. “I look forward to it.”

“Hold on, don’t go just yet,” he said. You paused, about to ask him what else he needed when he stooped over and pressed his lips to your cheek. “Thanks for coming to my game. I’m not really sure how you knew I was playing, but I’m glad you could make it either way.”

“Um — uh — Hiori told me, he told me you were playing, and, er, where to go and what time and all,” you stammered, trying to wrap your head around what had just happened, replaying it in your mind over and over.

“Hiori? I should’ve known he’d be the type to meddle like that,” he said. “I’m not even going to ask how you know each other. The answer will probably make me feel vaguely discomfited, so I’ll abide by an ‘ignorance is bliss’ policy.”

“That’s probably for the best,” you said, composing yourself, though internally, you were imagining what it would be like if you had turned your head, if instead of your cheek his lips had landed somewhere else. “Okay, I should go now. See you on Saturday?”

“One last thing. You’re pretty transparent, you know,” he said, grasping your chin in his left hand and leaning in. Your eyelashes fluttered shut as he grew closer and closer, but right when his mouth was a hair’s breadth from yourself, he chuckled. “Also, pretty gullible.”

Instead of kissing you like you had anticipated he would, he tackled you in another hug. You squealed in protest, but he held fast, his body rumbling with laughter as you simultaneously struggled to escape and clung onto him as tightly as you could.

“I hate you,” you said when your half-hearted efforts proved to be entirely futile.

“Sure you do,” he said.

“You’re the worst,” you said.

“Absolutely,” he said.

“I’m being serious here. You smell!” you said.

“Well, that’s plain rude of you to say,” he said, messing up your hair in what you were sure he deemed to be a punishment, as if being crushed against his sweaty form wasn’t punishment enough.

“Let go of me, you idiot crow!” you said.

“No can do,” he said. “Crows are clingy birds, you know. Even the idiotic ones. Ask me again in twenty years and maybe we can revisit the issue.”

“Karasu!”

[bloodakoos]

I just had the absolute bangerest of dreams.

it was about the owl house, but instead of being a series, it was a complete 100 minute animated movie. also apparently it was supposed to be based on a kind of obscure disney movie from the 2000s that I kinda can't remember the name because no one cares about it but it was a fan favourite movie in my dream.

This also meant the magic system was different. I think I dreamt of an original(?) magic system by myself?? look I'll explain it later. part of this magic system is also very very vital to the plot (burning something that signifies a person, right after their death does have its consequences apparently!) and overall the movie was an absolute success. it also ended like devilman for some reason

don't remember most of the movie (my dream) but here's some kind of recap

standard owl house events from the first episodes, no hexside (but diff. magic)

the gang teaches luz about the ritual necessary to do magic

this ritual involves metal hoops, a doll of your choosing, a scantron exam and Your Friends!

eventually it is done.

Cool! Magic

using this magic for good

meeting people

you know the deal standard plot

Maybe magic isn't gooood???

we learn that people suffer a lot from the consequences of it

tradition is never brought up. that's just how the magic works

we learn that in the death ceremony you are essentially deleted from reality in every way

Maybe That One Member Of The Group Isn't Gooood???

luz tries to go home

she goes to the weird cube dimension

there's things that inhabit that now! it's like the owl librarian from avatar except there's a lot of them and they're not so big. still pretty menacing tho

it is because they are so menacing luz good into a random dimension: one where hooty is the sun and says ready or not here I come! when it rises. make of that as you will.

anyways panic dimension hopping

you find someone. it is a magic user. A Dead magic user. they tell luz their story, how they died, turns out they were the parent of someone you met. burning the doll when people die makes the family's magic stronger, but it is why people with burnt dolls are called neverborn. it's like you were never born (wow!) but you get to spectate from another dimension after that

you now know how Everything works

learn the backstory unlock hidden potential final battle with... amity? it's the Amity from the past. I think it's supposed to represent a side of you you repress or something I didn't really care about that, sounded cringe

anyways cool battle between good and evil and the good guys win (?)

did I say it ends like devilman

[idontwanttowhy]

Review: Crash Course in Romance (2023)

Cute, nothing groundbreaking

Synopsis

Choi Chi-yeol is a celebrity...math instructor at The Pride Academy, where only the best of the best get first-class tutoring. Nam Hae-e has been studying on her own, but wants to join her top classmates at this hagwon/after school program, so her banchan restaurant-owning aunt and adoptive mother, Nam Haeng-seon, signs Hae-e up for Mr. Choi's uber-popular class. The Nams become further entangled with Chi-yeol when he discovers that the only food he can stomach is the banchan from Haeng-seon's shop.

In the midst of all this are the mothers of the top students, pulling strings and conniving to get their children the best possible preparation for their future college admissions processes.

MZ Overall: 7/10, definitely enjoyable but my heart wasn't in it

This drama aims to give you the same warm and fuzzy feelings you may get watching Crash Landing on You (2019), but something was just.... missing for me. I can't quite put my finger on it; the chemistry between the main leads was there, the lovable side characters, the thrilling side story, all of it. And the setup is just delicious: Haeng Seon's food is the only thing Chi Yeol can eat. He literally needs her to live! So all in all it's a solid drama. It's heartwarming and strikes a perfect balance of funny and dramatic moments. Definitely worth a watch!

MZ Review (spoilers)

Choi Chi Yeol opens his eyes, blurred by the combination of his fever and encroaching hangover. His dream girl, the one he can never have, looks upon him lying on the bed with concern that turns to surprise as Chi Yeol casually utters "Oh, you're in my dreams again." There is a pause as Chi Yeol decides how his dream would proceed. He reaches out to the specter of Haeng Seon, and as he caresses her arm he pulls her closer to him on the bed. He speaks again to his vision: "Let's be together, just this time." Slowly, with intention, he lifts himself to steal a kiss.

SWOON!

Now you have read the singular most romantic part of this drama, so do you really need to watch it? Maybe, actually. This scene is so good to watch. But they really make you work for it in this drama, let me tell you!

With chemistry like this, I'm really not sure why I didn't like it more. If I had to guess, I'd say that while all the major elements are there, some of the characters just aren't. I will admit that it's at least partially since I'm coming off of Love to Hate You, but I couldn't stand the way that the moms were all made pretty one-dimensional, to the point where you would think they have never had another thought in life beyond what seat their child was going to get in their academy. I understand that they are trying to portray a lot of complicated dynamics in a short amount of time, but you would really think that the moms are the villains in this story, not the broader society that creates the need to stress over exams like they are life or death. If this weren't enough, they are constantly criticized for their attempts, even to the point where it is suggested that it's their fault if their husband cheated on them, that they deserve it for some reason.

To this point as well, I couldn't stand the scene where Sun Jae asked his mom if she was happy with her life, since she wanted it for her sons so bad. You would literally think she had never thought of this question. UGH. Don't get me started on the other moms. If there was a Bechdel test for tests (instead of men) this show would barely pass. If it included tests and banchan, well, lets just say Hae-e did better on her reading midterm, and she turned in a blank test.

Anyway, the other thing that bothered me was how Jae Woo's character was barely more than a plot device the entire time. We are laughing at him, not with him. And we feel bad for Haeng Seon when she has to pick him up from jail because he was beaten up by someone while trying to get a waffle. He was primarily someone everyone else acted on, which is a pretty stereotypical way to portray someone with autism/Asperger's. While he is included in many of the touching moments of the show, I can't help but feel like he wasn't written as an actual person.

I guess beyond these two critiques, the show was pretty good. The main leads have incredible chemistry, but even they are sometimes upstaged by the drama going on with Sun Jae and Hae-e. Frankly, this show could have been about them and I would not have been mad.

Alls well that ends well, and the endings for each of the characters were more or less satisfactory, despite the lack of character development. I'd say I was really sad about Mr. Ji, but when I considered that he like, murdered people, I got over it. I also didn't like how things ended with Hae-e's mom, but that storyline was going nowhere fast anyway.

AC Overall: 7/10, meh--got boring at the end

I started off liking the show; characters were likable, and the plot development began beautifully, kept you guessing enough to keep you watching. But once everything was resolved two-thirds of the way in, the show really started to drag for me and I was no longer as interested in the characters or the new little plot developments they brought in for shits and giggles (I, for one, was not laughing). Honestly, I almost didn't even watch the last episode because I. just. stopped. caring. So, Crash Course had a promising start, but like too many dramas, ended flat. Crashed, if you will. Should've been a 12-episode series.

And, it's really not a crash course in romance, but in Korean high school student life? The romance took a backseat most of the time. Might as well have been about the students, with the main romance as a side plot.

AC Review (spoilers)

Let's start with the romances: the main was fine; Chi-yeol and Haeng-seon had good chemistry and a good romantic arc. Enemies to forbidden lovers to actual lovers--I enjoyed the I'm-the-single-aunt-not-the-married-mom secret and Chi-yeol's pining because of it. I was so here for the melodrama between those two! And then, it ran it's course with me right as Hae-e confessed the truth--didn't drag too much imo. But once they actually got together, I checked out. Fair to say I wasn't really there to see lovey-dovey-ness between those too. And to be fair, there wasn't tooo much of it anyway. The romance I was more invested in was Hae-e's; I really liked both Sun-jae or Seo Geon-hu for her, especially since a little friendly competition never hurt anyone (wink). Although...she really kept both guys waiting until the bitter end! And then we have Jae-woo and Haeng-seon's friend/employee Kim Young-joo, which I have mixed feelings about. On the one had, I guess it's good that someone with autism/Asperger's was depicted with a little romance, but it felt like it was thrown in carelessly. Left me wanting to have seen that development a little more? Idk.

The suspenseful plot was what really kept me watching. I knew something was up with the assistant Ji Dong-hui/Jeong Seong-hyeong early on, and was satisfied with how it played out, but once everyone knew he was the culprit behind the (successful and attempted) murders, I also checked out. Actually, even before everyone knew. Once I knew he was the culprit I was just kind of...waiting for everyone else to figure it out. And when they did, it marked the end of the drama for me. Sorry to say, but I didn't even really care for Hae-e to wake up once they didn't actually neeeed her to implicate him. Yikes.

Furthermore I do not understand why they had Hae-e's mom Nam Haeng-ja show up! It was from then that I knew for sure...it's time to give up bc where was that going??

But the students! The stars of the show; the pressure that they faced in preparation for college admissions was heartbreaking to watch and also a reminder of the realities of competitive students vying for the limited spots meant to "guarantee" a "good" life. Me, I appreciated the warning: pressure does not always make diamonds. And maybe diamonds are not worth the risk. Sun-jae's brother Hui-jae becoming a shut-in, Su-a having hallucinations, one of the kids fainting in the hagwon--hell, committing s*****e after having realized your parent went so far as to cheat to force your success...all very real and should be taken as a cautionary tale.

All in all, Crash Course was okay, pretty good even--until all the questions were answered. But hey, that's the point of a crash course? Everything after was a little unnecessary.

[baekhvuns]

HEEEEYYYY i am finally FREE from spring quarter EVERYONE CHEER !!! but then i am going to have summer classes starting from next monday so crying and laughing T^T so i hope you do not mind that i will talk about school rq

i just turned in my art final last thursday after i flew in to washington ... jfc i was going through it honestly ... the art final was like a "art history" final. i had to answer 43 questions for multiple choice, do 4 short answer prompts and then a whole essay like what is wrong with this professor ... mind you not, this class is an online, lower-division ge so like why am i putting my whole ass into this

also my ochem prof released grades for the class overall and let me tell you i seriously was gonna cry bc i was so scared if i was gonna pass the class or not ... but ... I GOT A C yk what i am fine with that bc i did horrible on two exams (below avg) and pretty decent on the other (above avg) ... but i feel disappointed that i have been getting Cs on my chem classes so far :( but i think i will be getting my first ever A in the bio class tho !!! which is like kinda bad but i am proud of myself at the same time :")

ok now ... we talk about exo and ateez hehehe (the most important stuff duh) honestly speaking ... took me like 3 listens to fully get bouncy, like i was ok with it on the first listen but yk what i mean? like you just need to listen to it more in order to fully get it ... i also really like this album, like i am so excited to be getting the albums in store when i go back to california YEAAHHH but my faves are dune, django and wake up !!! wbu bff ??? exo is making me CRY with let me in and the fact that they are gonna release ANOTHER mv is crazy like ... ik 2018-2021 me would be CRYING bc exo didn't release that much group stuff back then :(( but i am so happy that they are having a comeback like i need to prepare myself ... i just KNOW i will be SOBBING when i watch the last mv as their like "title track"

anyways i hope you are doing well bff <3 i sometimes read your works whenever i need a pick me up (or i just wanna cry ahem the one inspired my moon lovers i will forever be scarred) and that you are taking care of yourself !!! love ya lots :D

🧸

HELLO !!!! AAAAAA wait omg ur spring quarter just ended??? i thought it was the summer one 😭😭😭

no bc i DONT GET WHAT ART HISTORY PROFESSORS PROBLEMS ARE I HAD THIS EXACT EXAM AND I FLUNKED IT WHFJQHDKWSH & iTS ONLINE???? 🤨🤨

u know what getting a C is underrated relief, like what matters is that we made it 🫡 A & B are overrated grades atp,,, BUT LESSGOOO??? U MADE IT !!!!! it’s not sad that it’s ur first one!! it’s so hard to get A’s in uni and like for what im still waiting for mine but i know that A looks so good on ur transcript 🫡 u should be proud!!!!! u did great!!

i get what you mean completely,, i also don’t mind it now?? like the slow it down make it bouncy is the only part that’s stuck in my mind, it’s a nice song but it has its moments! the album is nice! i just wish ateez do different genres bc this one felt like a guerrilla album dupe to me 😭😭😭 OOO OKAY MY FAVOURITE IS OUTLAW BC THAT BEAT IS NAASSTYY

EXO LAND FINALLY GETTING THE THINGS WE DESERVE????? let me in was so good, their vocals is what was missing 😭😭 AND ANOTHER MV AND ANOTHER MAIN MV FOR THE CB??? 19 VERSIONS OF A GOD DAMN ALBUM???? hoping the sales for it actually goes to the members 😭😭

i hope you’re doing well tooo!!! hope u have time to rest after ur semester <333 AND 😭😭😭😭 UR STILL READING MY FICS THANK U SO MUCH FOR THAT SCREAMING I LOVE U FBWKDJWK

[bicheetopuff]

Dynamight and All Mights Character Arcs

⚠️MHA Manga spoilers⚠️⚠️Discussion of ch362⚠️

Okay… this is the only serious post I’m making regarding Katsuki’s death scare. I’ll answer any asks about it but other than that I’m not gonna make anymore posts about this particular topic. Mha isn’t within any of our control and predictions are just that… predictions. In reality, this is Horikoshis story and if he decides to truly break all of our hearts then so be it.

Also I’m not gonna talk about OFA theories and more so their characters themselves. Mainly cuz OFA is complicated and it’s difficult to pinpoint what might actually be happening to it or what it’s doing. I’m just going on based on what would make sense as their arc resolutions and why I think so. Anyways…

Contents:

I: Unfinished business

II: Katsuki’s Stubbornness

III: All Mights incomplete arc and Nighteyes vision

IV: Horikoshi’s writing style

V: Quirk Society

VI: Some Parallels

I: Unfinished Business

So I’m pretty sure we all came to the conclusion that Katsuki’s arc is incomplete and this supposed “death” feels abrupt, rushed, and unsatisfying. Not that if he died at another point it’d be satisfying but with how Horikoshi has written other deaths (which I’ll bring up again later) it’d be very out of character of Hori to present the second male lead with a death that feels so incomplete and tragic.

I’m gonna cut straight to the point: Katsuki has been reflecting on himself for almost 250 chapters. Slowly accepting that he’s in fact, not the best. Thinking about what he did to Izuku when they were younger and finding ways to atone for it. Learning that showing you care about someone isn’t a sign of weakness. Overall trying to be less of an asshole. And most important (in my opinion) learning how to accept help from others. I wanna talk about this point specifically.

Izuku is “win to save” right? His thing is about helping people even when they don’t ask for it, and at the beginning that’s what bothered Katsuki the most about Izuku. Izuku tried to help him when Katsuki didn’t need it and Katsuki thought it was offensive because why would a kid who is good at everything with an amazing quirk need help from a quirkless loser?

This development is what stemmed the “if I can’t save myself, I’d rather not be saved” attitude that he has at the beginning because having to be saved makes him feel just as—if not more—inferior as losing.

(Is this picture recycled from another meta I posted? Yea… yea it is. But the highlighted parts still apply)

It took him a while to be even somewhat okay with accepting help from someone else and the first example was Kirishima in the hideout raid. Y’know, that time where Izuku let someone else be the one to reach out to him no matter how much he wanted it to be him. He said it had to be Kirishima because he knew that Katsuki wouldn’t have accepted his hand. Because he never has. And still hasn’t (no, heroes rising doesn’t count until proven otherwise).

After DvK2 Katsuki became almost hyper-fixated on the fact that he’s been misunderstanding Izuku for damn near 12 years. But also after DvK2, Katsuki hasn’t been given another chance to accept Izukus hand. And yea it’s pretty sappy but it’s an important part of their relationship and Katsukis development that theoretically can happen in the vestige world but wouldn’t make sense in terms of an actual resolution (in my opinion).

II: Katsuki’s Stubbornness

Katsuki is persistent and always has been. Aizawa and All Might have pointed it out several times. He’s grownup being good at everything and at UA is when he starts to be told there’s things he can’t do. He starts to get a taste of failure and tries his best to do what he’s told his incapable of anyway. The earliest example I can think of is during the sports fest when Tsuburaba tried to block Katsuki with his solid air and Monoma’s team is like “heh he can’t break through that.”

And he did anyway.

Or final exams when he was determined to try to beat All Might. Even though he didn’t he still tried his damnedest which I think is the best example despite not winning the way he wanted to. It’s also the first time he accepts Izukus help no matter how much he doesn’t like it. (The amount of parallels from this fight to 362 is crazy when you look at it closely)(we also get a taste of the actual frustration he feels when someone tells him he can’t do something).

“We had no hope of beating you without taking a few risks.”

“Even if it messes me up, I chose this path to victory.”

(…and we call Izuku the self sacrificial one)

Seem familiar? This quotes seem oddly relevant in light of 360-362. He’ll break himself if it means he tries his best for the outcome he wants and…

Meaning: as long as he’s able, he’ll fight to win. It’s apart of his character to not go down easily. He’s simply too stubborn to and it’d be extremely unfulfilling to go down mid-fight and not get back up. Yea, he didn’t get up a second time in his final exam because he passed out but, Izuku still made sure he claimed a victory even if it wasn’t the way he wanted. Plus he didn’t need to get up a second time. Katsuki deserves a victory to actually go his way this time, not for the victory itself but to prove his own expectations of his strength. He wants to be the strongest, right?

Who is Katsuki Bakugou if not someone that lives up to their own word?

If not for himself then for Izuku. To be the person Izuku looks up to.

III: All Mights incomplete arc and Nighteyes vision

So All Might has always been one to keep secrets from most people. When Izuku found out that All Might kept the fact that Nighteye knew about OFA and didn’t like him before they even met, he was offended, remember? And offended by the fact that Mirio was supposed to be the successor that All Might was settling with. Emphasis on settling.

Nighteye made it clear that he thinks Izuku is a lousy choice in a successor because he thinks “the burning desire to help people” isn’t enough to be a suitable candidate despite the fact that that’s how All Might was metaphorically born. And he still believes that despite Izuku’s quick improvement (up until his dying moments at least, but that’s beside the point).

So theory time:

I’ve actually been thinking about this for a while I just didn’t think Katsuki would have to get so hurt for it.

Some of Nighteyes dying words was about how Izuku proved that the future can be changed but during the Chisaki battle Uraraka and Izuku also proved that it takes will and conviction to change the future. To change fate. However, All Might has already secretly accepted that he is going to die which is why he never told the foresight to Izuku.

However…

He’s fighting to live for Izukus sake. Not his own. From this point in the story, yea Izuku needs him and All Might knows that. But later, after endeavors agency arc All Mihht starts to slowly believe that Izuku doesn’t need him anymore and in Izuku’s vigilante arc, All Might starts to see his thoughts being proven correct.

“You won’t need to look back to me.”

All Might began to realize that he’s not someone Izuku needs anymore, as harsh as that sounds. He became someone Izuku sought out to protect rather than the other way around and being aware of that is frustrating for him.

The panel of All Mights response was small and on the next page so I didn’t add it but all he said was “thank you.” He didn’t go on some kind of tangent about continuing to fight to live.

He recognizes that he’s not keeping the promise he made to Inko. He’s supposed to be the one protecting and teaching Izuku but the table turned (in a more obvious way since Izuku has been the one protecting and teaching All Might in the first place). But in the same way that he recognizes himself as not being someone Izuku needs anymore, he recognizes the people that Izuku does need. I think when it comes down to protecting himself or protecting someone he knows that Izuku still needs in his life, he’d choose the latter because he’s dedicated the rest of his life to doing things for Izuku’s sake. Not his own. And who’s the person that’s been most recognizable to All Might as the most important person in Izuku’s life?

I think All Might is gonna see Katsuki on the ground and be prepared to die for him just as Katsuki was prepared to die for Izuku (ch285). It would come full circle from when he was unwilling to try to save Katsuki in chapter one until he saw Izuku go for him first.

This is where I’ll start to sound desperate but it’s a legitimate thought I’ve had for a while. All Might can still go into his muscle form. And there’s no proof that OFA is completely gone other than ‘a feeling’ All Might had in his fight in Kamino. The original theory about why All Mights vestige is still ghostly was because he’s still alive but, what if it’s because he still has shreds of OFA and since he still has it, he hasn’t become a true vestige yet? This is something I thought of way before 362 because something just never felt right about it? Why would Nighteyes vision take place after All Mights retirement?

Nighteye didn’t say he’d encounter AFO again, assuming he knows what AFO looked like and what state he was in after All Might “beat” him 6 years ago. Just like All Might was able to recognize AFO immediately, Nighteye would too.

Do you remember his run in with stain? How stain threatened to kill him for talking down on himself? Stain showed All Might that despite feeling useless, there’s still people that believe in him. And he hit him with this:

A hero only exists for the sake of others…

That’s what he’s been doing, hasn’t it? Except in the state he’s in, he can’t be a real hero anymore can he? He’s felt useless. Like a Deku.

OFA is a power all about will and love. Katsukis in trouble and Katsuki means something to Izuku so… he’ll pull through despite thinking he can’t. Just like he did here:

Yes, it’s sad. But in my brain it makes sense and it’d complete All Mights character nicely. I think he’s being brought up to often in this fight for him to sit there and continue to just watch.

I’m sure Katsuki isn’t the only person that’s realized this about Izuku and has been inspired by it. And I think All Might being able to use OFA immediately with no drawback when he got it adds a tinge of irony there.

Do I think he’ll be the one to save Katsuki? No. But I think he’s gonna “face that other villain” while someone else heals Katsuki and OFA does whatever it does. And hopefully Izuku will be there eventually to lend a hand that Katsuki can finally accept.

Also I’d like to point this out before moving on:

Beginning of the story, rain started. The beginning of this shitshow.

Right after Izuku was found by Katsuki and brought home by his classmates. All Might letting someone else protect and raise him because he knows he can’t do anything that he considers meaningful for him anymore. The rain stops. When All Mights attitude changes after Stains lecture.

Weather has a sudden change again and it’s about to rain. What if it’s All Might heading to the battle field? He accidentally caused the rain before when he protected Katsuki (ch1). So what do you think will stop the rain once it’s started? I personally think it’ll be All Might accepting his unfortunate fate and dying happy doing something he always loved doing again. Being a hero and dying a hero. Not dying as some retiree.

Anyways…

These next two points are a little more logistical.

IV: Horikoshis Writing Style

There haven’t been very many deaths in mha. But each time they died with someone they cared about around or someone that cares about them (minus midnight).

-Twice saving Toga and compress and giving back Togas Handkerchief

-not a death scene but Mirio and Tamaki using each other as crutches when they were both really injured.

-Nighteye dying in the presence of All Might, his sidekick, disciple, and the kid that changed his negative attitude about his foresight (Izuku changing the future but not dying to Chisaki).

-again not a death scene but Kirishima sacrificing himself for Mina when Gigantomachia tried to grab her.

-not a death scene again but Katsuki sacrificing himself for Izuku.

A sudden change in that pattern just wouldn’t make sense in my opinion. Katsuki taking a senseless beating and dying is inconsistent writing to me so he’s gonna get back up cuz I say so.

V: Quirk Society

There’s not much to this so I’ll get straight to the point:

Recovery Girls existence

Best Jeanist survived a massive hole in his abdomen from AFO despite not being able to be healed for damn near half an hour (and we didn’t know he was still alive for like 150 chapters). Izuku gets his shattered bones healed in minutes despite it taking months to heal that kind of injury naturally. Katsukis injury seems healable when you take the verses medical care into consideration.

In terms of strategy when it comes to this fight I think it’d be dumb to not have Recovery Girl and a medical team on standby in AFO or ShigAFOs battlefields. I’m sure there’s medical and rescue on standby at the other battle fields too for after fights but it’d be dumb not to have at least someone at the fight against the biggest threat.

VI: Parallels

This is just stuff I haven’t already pointed out

heh yea…

Half-assed Conclusion

Katsuki accepting Izukus help and Izuku potentially saving his life isn’t him being a damsel. It’s a resolution to his character and is purely his own. I don’t think any other conclusion to his character arc would be satisfying until he accepts help from Izuku. Will it kinda be a test of Izuku’s control over his heart? Maybe. Will Izuku probably go ballistic? Probably. But whatever happens with Katsuki is Katsuki’s development only (and some all might).

Idk this may be me being in denial and desperate but this last chapter kinda screwed me up and made me think about the story a lot and how weird and out of place this chapter feels. It makes me feel better to word dump and put my thoughts somewhere that isn’t my brain so. This post probably doesn’t make much sense cuz I wrote it pretty quickly. Sorry in advance I guess lmao.

I’m not talking about this anymore and I’m probably gonna take a little break from mha for a bit. I’ll still be updating my fic for anyone that’s keeping up with that but other than that I’ll be avoiding the manga for a bit which is why I won’t be talking about this subject for a while.

[leftmusing]

so i found out thanks to my two little siblings that school hours in the uk are being increased in an attempt by the government to increase academia and overall higher grades in students. no i don't have a source to link, i'm just saying words rn but. but.

what the fuck do high grades actually do. as somebody who was a drastic overacheiever in school and college, what... what do they do? specifically gcse grades

i sat my gcse exams much later than my peers because i fucked up secondary school bc of my mental health and had to go down a different route. bc of sitting them older than most, i was the first year to have grades based off 1-9.

i got a 9 in my english and i remember crying because i was so proud of myself. it felt like i finally had some hope, and that i could feel better about how much of a failure i thought i was in everything else. because that was the mindset that was drilled into me. don't get high grades in your gcses? then your life is gonna be ruined!

guess what! my life is ruined anyway. regardless of my level 9, regardless of being on the gifted and talented register, regardless of the distinctions i got in college, my life is in the gutter. i dropped out of uni after two weeks and take deep, deep pride in the stupid parts of myself now. i truly, deeply love the fact that i don't know it all and can be a total fucking idiot about a lot of things.

my grades didn't fucking matter. they didn't change anything. they didn't make me more or less worthy of a good life or self love, nor should lower grades.

grades aren't a measure of intelligence. academia isn't a measure of intelligence. it's all pseudointellectual, classist shit that's fed to us, so that the government can control how we feel about ourselves and our future, merely based on a number on some paper after a test.

secondary school doesn't fucking matter. college doesn't fucking matter. degrees don't fucking matter. they don't get you the golden ticket to a shimmering future like you're told they do. education from elsewhere matters. your class, status, background and luck matters. how you treat people and act, what mindsets you carry independently, the way you choose to do things? matters.

fuck grades. fuck being smart. fuck that shit. big up low wage "low skilled" workers, big up the unemployed, big up the disabled, big up those without a posh dialect and immediately get labelled as thick. stop telling kids that their futures are hanging in the balance over a number between 1 and 9 that they get stamped with when they're a child