#but the reason it's particularly relevant to all of this is that as she says the very first iteration of this phrase who is sitting in

[giuliettagaltieri]

Breath of Spring

Pairing: Young!Gojō x Young!Reader

Chapter Synopsis: Emotional constipation was Gojō Satoru's congenital defect.

Warning: angst, unrequited love, suggested misogyny, arranged marriage, age gap

Word Count: 1060

1 of 9

Gojō Satoru has known you even before you knew how to walk.  He attended your naming day, he was already five years old then.  The memory is vague and blurred but he was certain of the strong feeling of dislike he had for you.  How is it that everybody was congratulating him, telling him that he is so lucky to be betrothed to you.  The well anticipated daughter of your family, one long awaited after having birthed with boys alone for nearly a decade.  But that does not have anything to do with him.  All you did was drool and suckle on your tiny fingers.

There was nothing particularly special about you, he comes to realize after you attended his 12th birthday.  It was a day he received many gifts, the wrapped packages piled so neatly in the corner by the handmaidens of the estate house.  He is not to touch any of them, lest some were sent by malevolent individuals who seek to bring harm to him and his family.  Not that he can’t see cursed material from a mile away but the elders of his house insisted.  He cannot complain either, it saved him from wearing fake smiles and throwing away forced gratitude.

It was why he was upset that his annual hunt had to come to a pause just so you could hand him your gift.  He eyed you with his much aggravation.  You are never without your nannies and personal guards, being sheltered from the world like a fragile little flower.  You were nearly half his age but you already act like an adult.  Like you were better than him.  It was as if your back had a rod with how straight it always appears to be, your chin always tilted upwards, and eyeing everyone as beneath you, how haughty.  It brought him great satisfaction to see you shy away from him though, your eyes always finding your dainty shoes whenever he is nearby.

Your handmaiden had to usher you forward so you would have the courage to hand him your gift.  The elders looked at his actions carefully, almost awaiting him to make a mistake just to have something to criticize him over.  He mutters a small “thanks”. And you nod at him and retreat back to the arms of your mother who was watching you with much fondness.

As he previously thought, you’re nothing different.  Just another puppet.

Gojō wasn’t in the mood for hunting afterwards.  Simply kicking rocks by the pond as his servitor accompanied him, standing a few meters behind him, still like a statue.

“The young master appears to be upset.”  The servitor says calmly, his voice even and unprovocative.  But young Gojō Satoru whips at him with so much fervor that the servitor nearly breaks into a smile.

“Upset?  For what reason?”  He scowls as he steps closer to the tall man.  He looks about ready to fight anything that moves, his face contorted to a wild scowl.  “Because of her?  That spoiled shrimp?  You think that pipsqueak is relevant enough to upset me?”

The servitor clears his throat to hide the smile as he closes his eyes.  “Perhaps the young master should be kinder to the young lady.” 

Gojō scoffs and looks at the tiny gift that he had in his clutches, never letting go of it ever since you handed it to him.  “Kinder?  She has done nothing but be a nuisance!”  In a fit of anger, he throws the carefully wrapped item to the ground.  A loud shatter of ceramics startles him, and the servitor flinches upon hearing the sound.  They both stare at the still wrapped gift, its shape no longer preserved and it looks nothing more than a heap of oddly shaped objects covered with the intricate fabric.

“Oh my.”  His servitor sighs, disappointed.  “What a shame, the lady was very excited to know how you liked her gift.”

Upon hearing this, Gojō raises his defenses, his teeth gritting as his cheeks flushed.  “You don’t have to do her biddings!”  Yet despite the outburst, the little boy’s eyes cannot leave the heap of your broken gift on the ground.  They have many talented craftsmen in the estate, it can be fixed, he is certain of it.  But then again, why does he need it fixed?  You’re insignificant, your gift is no different.

Or so he tries to convince himself.

His mood has not been better for the next few days.  He was cranky, snapping at anyone who looked his way for too long.  His father, ever so perceptive, asked young Satoru’s servitor about his dramatic, or at least worse than usual, turn of emotions. 

A day later, Satoru finds another wrapped gift atop his nightstand the moment he opens his eyes.  It was familiar, the shape of it.  When he reached for it, the weight of it was something his hand had known.  A small tag was attached and he read it, his still pouting lips moving as he read the words one by one.

To Gojō-sama.  Wishing you a fine day.

He knew the curve of your handwriting too well.  The frown in his brows deepened and deepened as he pulled the ribbon.  And the wrapping came undone and the ceramics figure of him and you, hands intertwined, stared back at him.

It was beautiful, smooth, and greatly detailed.  Even the clothes were made of the finest material.

But it was useless.  It was good to look at but there was no purpose to it. 

A knock in the door startles him, and he nearly drops the figure but he manages to grab hold of your foot, well the sculpture, he did not expect the dress to flip, showing him your bloomers.

Gojō twists the doll right-side up and pulls your dress down until it covers your ankles.  His face is bright red and warm.  It was simply too much for young Satoru.

“Young master, is everything alright?”  The door slid open a fraction but Gojō yelled for them to close it at once!

“Yes!  Everything is alright.”  His face was still aflamed as he clutched the dress tightly around your tiny body.

By the next day, you receive a bouquet of blue roses littered with baby’s breath accompanied by a poorly scribbled note of ‘Thanks’ from the young master of the Gojō estate.

Where the Blue Roses Grow

[fictionandescapism]

Reasons why TUA S4 is not canon to me

(spoilers obviously)

You're telling me that Lila held on to her resentment for so long in her marriage without saying a word?? She would have told Diego a long long time ago about the behaviour that was bothering her.

She does make fun of him sure, but never in front of people and she definitely doesn't allow other people to make fun of him ( remember when she called Ben a shitty little squid because he was mean to her boyfriend) so honestly what was up with all those fat jokes???

I've seen other people mention this too but like despite having three children, it really seemed like they only cared about Grace, I never even knew they had twins till it was actually mentioned on screen.

The five and Lila thing was just so weird??? Like I get the whole only people on the planet thing but honestly there was zero romantic chemistry between them ever and now suddenly because they're alone, they're hooking up?? Not to mention, later five acts like he's in love with her??? Like what was that??? He was literally acting like a lovestruck teenager which he never did even when he was stuck in an actual teenage hormonal body.

Again this has been mentioned before by other fans but like five's deal has always been about protecting his family and now he's just chill with leaving them behind and starting a life with Lila?? He's always butted heads with Diego but there was never a doubt that he genuinely cared about him like he cared about all his siblings and now he's ready to fight him over a girl??? You're telling me that makes sense?

Not to mention neither of them looked particularly remorseful about what they had done. Even towards the end, none of this actually got resolved, the insane love triangle still existed, at some point it felt like Lila was never in love with her husband at all, Diego never actually said goodbye to his kids, Claire and Allison were the only ones who got some kind of closure, Klaus was on bizzare side quests the entire time, the whole plot of luther and Diego finding out the CIA boss was involved also kind of didn't really matter in the end?? Like it was some half ass attempt to make them relevant to the plot, even him deciding that he would rather spend time with his kids didn't matter because he lost them like idk three hours later? Don't even get me started on the numerous glaring plot holes in that ending because I wouldn't even know where to begin.

TUA S4 was truly character assassination at it's finest.

[ruhorih4ra]

Hello fellas 🧙🏻‍♂️ long time no see... Heheh

Get out of my way: the new exchange student!

She was doomed from the beginning. Since the first time her body appeared in that grim room, surrounded by demons. Demons! The one and only Lucifer, fallen angel and king of hell. Except he wasn’t the King of Hell and instead of being an horrendous monster he was a good looking jerk with an old-fashioned uniform. At the time he was kind and respectful, but she knew it, when she saw the demon’s eyes, those eyes that spoke for themselves, she was sure that Lucifer knew.

She is extremely capable to do her job, so she remained calm. When Asmodeus touched her body and exclaimed with a very sweet and fake voice that she was beautiful and how he couldn’t help but want to feel her skin, she knew he was merely doing a security check. That implied that Asmodeus aka The Avatar of Lust, also knew her secret.

Initially, Beelzebub was left in charge of her, The Avatar of Gluttony and King of flies looking after a human? She did her best to remain unfazed by his stature and stern features, but really appreciated when Mammon stepped in and demanded to be in charge. That was until he pinched her forearm so bad she felt a drop of blood slide down her arm, “Don’t try anything funny, human.” So, The Avatar of Greed knew too.

She did a quick report. Real demons, all have different eccentric traits, some have functional wings, others have tails, all of them are taller than the average human. They have unusual features and seem to speak English fluently. All of them knew her now not-so-secret secret.

She tried to look for the famous exchange student, the human who had been kidnapped. Sc only saw you for a split second before her vision was blocked by the prince of the Devildom. “Welcome to the Devildom, Sc.” He smiled and it was so honest and open that he could have fooled her. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

When Diavolo finally introduced you, she felt relieved. You seemed to be a nice, kind person. So she assumed her reports were correct and you had developed Stockholm syndrome after being captured for a whole year. “Nice to meet you, Mc.”

“Nice to meet you too, Sc. Don’t worry, you’ll have a good time here.” You replied, your eyes were kind and you seemed genuine. Sc felt sorry, she knew right there that you were the only one who wasn’t aware of her intentions.

However, that was the first and one of the few times she could actually talk with you. Sc knew they would try to avoid leaving the two alone, but they were more stubborn than she had thought, always putting you in opposite directions.

She had received a particularly harsh reprimand one day after “helping” you with council work. She wasn’t trying to be sly, but you offered her information for free so why not? Lucifer seemed furious, Sc didn’t know what made him angrier the fact that Mammon wasn’t there and thus you had been alone or the possibility of an information leak. Mammon arrived before she could say anything relevant, but Lucifer probably knew that already.

However, that day he offered a free waltz class. She accepted, what else could she have done? “I told you to stay away from them, human. I know who you are and your reasons to be here, don’t bring Mc into this.”

Sc didn’t lose her temper and kept smiling, dancing as well as an expert. “Why? Are you afraid of losing them?” She was so sure that Lucifer wouldn’t try anything while you were under the same roof that she let down her guard. “Is that a threat?” Lucifer asked, staying calm too, leading the dance with the same softness of his voice. “You brought them here without their consent, forcing them to coexist with you and your brothers.”

Lucifer raised an eyebrow and Sc took it as an invitation to continue. “You put them in danger and manipulated them to love you. That’s not love, that’s codependency.” Lucifer’s grip tightened, squeezing the new exchange student’s hand more and more. “I see you have been thinking about it quite a lot, human. You can think whatever suits you best as long as you stay away from Mc.”

“That’s enough, Lucifer.” Sc felt his hand being slowly crushed under an unstoppable force. “If you try to hurt them I’ll break every single one of your bones with my own hands.” Lucifer smiled and tilted his head. “Almost as good as a cursed record, don’t you think?” Sc couldn’t reply, the pain of having her hand completely crushed was too much, her skin was pale, if she didn’t fall was because Lucifer’s hold on her waist. Before she fainted, Sc took Lucifer from the shirt collar. “They’ll realize what kind of monster you are and we’ll leave together.”

She couldn’t remember a thing after that, she woke up in her bed with her hand completely fine. However, after that the brothers reinforced their security, there wasn’t a moment in which one of them was not watching her and thus she couldn’t get close to you. Always playing with Leviathan, reading with Satan, sleeping with the twins, shopping with Asmo. It was torture.

“Mc love this game.” “This is Mc’s favorite book.” “Don’t touch Mc’s pillow.” “I remember that time with Mc when…”

Why? Sc wanted to pull out her hair in desperation. Since she arrived her mission had been impossible, she couldn’t get any information of the Three-Legged Crow Group and their recent growth in the human world, Sc knows that the prince is closely related but that’s all.

Oh, but in comparison, she knows lots of things about Mc’s whole routine, what they like and dislike. They were like puppies wagging their tails at the mention of your name, no, maybe it would be better to call them worshipers. They didn’t act like demons, not unless they thought she was up to something against their beloved human.

That’s when she decided to take action. Her contacts told her about a certain creep in a local market that was always ready to offer solutions. She asked Beel to take her there with the excuse of wanting to know more about the devildom’s cuisine and then… Beelzebub had been glued to her the entire time.

Sc hadn't completely overcome her fear of Beelzebub, but she had to admit that looking the gigantic demon cry over pudding had been a great help. Still, Beelzebub is a demon capable of swallowing her within seconds if he wanted and that’s something she couldn’t ignore. “No turning back now, not without Mc.”

“My lord, do you know that I am a spy who was sent to the Devildom to gather information about Lord Diavolo?” Sc spoke in her best professional voice. As expected, Beelzebub face remained neutral, nodding slightly. “Lord Diavolo tried to kill a human, they were at an amusement park.”

“That human shot Belphie, Lord Diavolo showed mercy, I would have shown him my fangs.” Beelzebub said with a mouth full of fries. “Following that logic, Lord Belphegor killed Mc, right? what should we humans do?”

Beelzebub stopped, he didn't look angry or threatening, he looked embarrassed. “Mc didn't die.”

“They died, in a sense. You know that, right? Why are they still here? Are you threatening them? Why?” Sc stood in front of Beelzebub, her heart violently shaking her whole body. “Mc is nice and understanding, they forgave us. I don't know why and no, we're not threatening them.” Beelzebub had stopped eating, he stood in the middle of the busy sidewalk, earning curious glances from passing demons.

“Are they nice and understanding or they have to be? How much of their love is just well-masked fear, my lord?” The woman knew that Beelzebub had been an angel, when he speaks about you she can even see some of that light in the demon's eyes.

Beelzebub wasn't a fan of overthinking, although he was an expert on the matter. The fact is that he didn't have time to do it while you were in his arms, feeding him his favorite desserts or sitting on his back sharing your day while he did push-ups. He had wondered those things too, but he had pushed them to the far corner of his mind. What if Sc was correct? What if they weren't protecting you?

Beel felt the sudden need to see your face and so he turned around. “We should go back to the house of lamentation.” he didn't wait for Sc, just walked along the crowd with stiff steps and a gloomy face. “Mc can leave if they want, they're strong and capable. They even confronted Lucifer more than once, protecting Luke and me and... don't tell Lucifer I told you this.” He stopped, not many demons were around anymore, the stalls and enthusiasm of the market had disappeared. “They don't need us as much as we need them. It must look twisted from the outside but I don’t want them to leave.” The red-haired demon stopped as a certain question forced its way through all of his troublesome thoughts. “How do you know what Belphie did?”

Beelzebub turned to see Sc, but he just found an empty street, that and the horrible silence that settles before the painful realization that he had been fooled.

Sc was taught to be discreet and silent, her steps didn't make a sound, losing Beelzebub had been easy once the demon's mind had wandered far from there. It was only when she was in front of the shady place that she started questioning her plan. It didn't even look like a shop and, if that wasn't enough, it was quite far from the local market too.

But she entered nonetheless, the classic sound of a small bell ringing was heard when she opened the door and peeked inside. Two white eyes that resembled a pair of marbles and were the only perceptible thing in the dark room met her eyes and left a sensation that ran down her spine and shook her nerves.

She thought of backing off, but she saw Beelzebub looking for her and quickly stepped inside.

“I need something to neutralize demons.” She walked towards the pair of eyes that laughed with a quiet delight. “Now.” She held the demon's gaze and cursed when someone knocked at the main door. The demon put a bird cage on the table. “10,000 Grimm.”

“What the fuck is this?! Those idiots are at least 6’0 tall, this crap is the size of a rat!” Sc hissed but the bell rang again and her muscles acted on its own, taking the cage and leaving the Grimm.

“What are you doing? What is that?” She had never seen the avatar of gluttony so angry and threatening. “I need it for my classes.” Sc said with the last shred of will she had left, feeling a pang of shame when she heard her own voice sound like a little girl on the verge of crying. Beelzebub inspected the cage first and then the seller, trying to choose the best way to proceed. “Fine, but you'll show it to Lucifer later.”

Beel dragged her carelessly through the Devildom's streets. She could hardly hold the cage and follow the demon's footsteps, before she could even think in the possibility, the cage slipped from her hand and rolled open on the floor. “Wait, lord Beelzebub!”

Beel stopped and picked up the cage in less than a second, handing it to Sc and resuming his previous race, but Sc’s movements were even more clumsy than before as she couldn't stop looking at a little black cloud swirling around Beelzebub's head.

“My lord, you have something on your head.” Sc murmured, stopping Beelzebub again from his hasty walk. The demon just looked around, the murderous scowl that had formed on his face gave way to one of curiosity. “I don't see anything.” He gave Sc a look that meant he wouldn’t stop again and promptly turned around and once again took her wrist to continue walking.

Lucifer found nothing out of the ordinary with the cage, he merely raised an eyebrow and sighed in annoyance, “I suggest something bigger.” He said as his only comment. Eventually she thought that everything had been a scam, surely the seller had seen a good opportunity to fool her and that was the end of her little feat.

That was until your blood stained the House of Lamentation and she saw for the first time since her arrival the fear painfully painted on the faces of all the brothers, from the youngest to the oldest. They had rushed to your room while she stood there, looking stupidly at the dried blood as a lump formed in her throat.

Perversely, and much to her shame, she realized that for the very first time since she set foot in hell she was alone. Nobody was watching her, she could wander around with no one to stop her.

Finally, she could do her job.

So she remained silent, even when she saw two little demons bothering you at the dining table. She kept quiet, even when a little demon (who didn't look so little anymore) threw a book at her head when she tried to catch him. She didn't say a word, not even when you fought with Lucifer and left everyone feeling miserable.

She could remember Satan's madness, the raw emotion, the demon had radiated, drowning Sc in a sea of anxiety and fear. But even then she remained calm, because surely you would forgive them, surely you would forgive her too, right?

She didn't mutter a single word because it was working. She had been forgotten even by the prince and his terrifying butler. She convinced herself that this was for the best and that you would thank her once you were both in the human world.

However, that changed one night, when Mammon arrived to the library and roughly tied up her wrists. “How did you know I was here?!” Sc struggled in an attempt to free herself from the rope. “I have eyes everywhere.” Mammon winked at her and forced her to walk ahead of him. “Where are we going? Where is Mc?”

Mammon stopped, but his hands stopped Sc from turning around. “Why are you askin’, human?” Sc felt the pointy nails of the greed demon caressing her neck. “They seem off, I’m worried. That’s all.” And wasn’t that true after all? You were different, ever since the fight you have been more rude and violent. Even she has retreated behind Lucifer’s back when you pass by.

“Someone attacked them.” The avatar of greed’s voice was cold and composed. “Those idiots dared to hurt them.” Sc felt Mammon´s nail pressing on her neck, exactly on the carotid arteries. “Do you know something about it, witch?”

“No, I don’t. Are they oka-!” The young woman couldn’t say anything else as the demon pushed her to the floor. “Ya wanna know somethin’ human? Truth is Mc’s not a bad liar, ya know? They had lied to me looking straight to my face without batting an eye.” Sc’s groaned when Mammon took her by the hair and forced her to stay still while he spoke just inches away from her face. “It’s unfair, you see, because we are demons, I can hear your heart screaming the truth, it’s so loud it hurts my fuckin’ ears.”

“Please, I ddon’t knnow anything.” Sc said in short breaths. “Are they okay?” Sc asked again. Mammon tightened his grip on the woman’s hair before releasing her. “Yes they are. I’ll take you to the attic and you’ll stay there until Satan beats the truth out of you.”

Luckily, she wasn’t held hostage for long and nobody ripped the truth out of her, no wonder why. They looked miserable, awful, lost. Sc had found what had happened, from the attack and the fact that the attackers remained unknown, to your decision to stay in purgatory hall.

Every time she saw you, you were surrounded by little demons. No, they weren’t little anymore, they were real copycats of the brothers. They were your guardian demons, spinning around your head like nasty flies. She knew it was her fault, after all, they had appeared after she bought that cage.

At one point she had decided that the mission wasn’t as important as you and that she should do something but then again, things were much better now that the brothers weren’t there all the time but bloody hell, things were worse now that you were alone with those pests.

She got out of her classes to take a break and that’s when she saw you sitting alone at an old and almost crumbling table. She counted them, there were 6 demons already, one more than the last time.

Sc looked at her hands, only one report left and you could leave the devildom. She only needed a little more time, then she could save you and show the world the truth. Almost unconsciously, her eyes landed on you again, sleeping peacefully in that lonely place.

Part 22?

She swallowed hard before going back to her business. Not even 5 seconds passed when she heard a loud sound coming from the place you were at before, she ran as fast as possible but when she arrived you had disappeared and the table you were in was now reduced to a pile of rocks.

I know I don't update this (or anything, actually :3) often, so feel free to tell me if you want to be removed from this humble taglist hahshaha.♡

Taglist: @yuumaofc @asmolover1234 @gallantys @prefesro @urminebutidontwantyou @fiveofspades @exrellian @kaiserkisser @cutestpatoootie @fandumshippr @frenchmess23yo @reject-queen @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf

[retrorats]

This particular segment of chapter 5 between monomi and Monokuma is more interesting and important than is usually recognized. Even if it sounds hard to believe, all of this segment seems to be a reference to the relationship of Komaeda and Hinata, monokuma and monomi functioning in this segment as a representation of their relationship.

So I can explain well why I think that this segment is entirely about Komaeda and hinata is necessary to clarify the main subject of it: friendship. As we know, the concept of friendship is relevant to the relationship of Hinata and Komaeda in this trial since a friendship between them is something that is mentioned by monokuma.

For this reason, is already very curious that the theme of this segment is about friendship, considering that a friendship between two of the main characters of the game was a topic of discussion in the trial. But it being about friendship cannot be the only thing that is taken into account for saying this is about them, at the end of the day one could say that friendship is in general something very relevant to trial 5 as a whole, we need to look at specifically how is the friendship that this segment portrays to understand why it's clearly talking about Hinata and Komaeda.

We can see that this is reference to their relationship by looking at the things monokuma is saying about friendships and the overall dynamic between him and monomi here. The segment follows this interaction between monokuma and monomi where Monokuma acts really friendly with Monomi and in general acts like if there is a friendship between them, monomi, for her part, gets irritated and says how much she distrusts monokuma and negates any friendship she may have with him. This dynamic that they present on this scenario is particularly similar to the dynamic Komaeda and Hinata have for most of the game, with Komaeda wanting to rekindle the relationship between them and acting friendly while Hinata avoids him and refuses to trust Komaeda.

(Notice how Monomi talks about Monokuma like how Hinata talks about Komaeda)

But the most strong evidence in my opinion are certain things Monokuma says, in particular there are two things he says that are a direct reference to the relationship of Komaeda and Hinata. Monokuma saying "distrusting your friend is more shameful than being betrayed by that friend" is a very clear reference to their relationship, by saying this Monokuma is not only reprimanding Monomi for distrusting him but also is calling out Hinata for not trusting Komaeda. Monokuma with this phrase is also defending Komaeda, the character he is representing at the moment, for betraying Hinata, the man he was in love with.

We also have this little reference to a dialogue between them in the island mode, is sweet.

I'm aware that it can be said that this is just a comedy bit about the rivalry between monokuma and monomi, but something we need to understand is that Monokuma and Monomi are not really that much of characters, they are more of a representation of the narrative and the author, for that reason it makes sense for a segment about them to not actually be about them. A relationship about trust, distrust, connection and betrayal is just like komahina, so it's only natural for me to interpret this to be about them, specially since it appears in a trial that is so focused in their relationship.

[rainbow-crane]

Ways Hiro Could've Been Plot-Relevant

I'm upset. We cope with listmaking

Expand on his business dealings. Hiro's supposed to be using his fortune-telling as a moneymaker, and by playing his ftes, you know he's wildly successful via exorbitant prices. So why not have him take advantage of everyone's panic in the killing game and start making sales? Sure, a good chunk of the cast will be able to see through it, but there are plenty of characters that could buy it (Makoto, Hina, Toko in the early-game, to name a few).

Have him and Makoto connect over both being framed. They literally set up the easiest way for the two of them to bond in chapter 3 and just. Didn't use it. I feel like this is the easiest way to make him feel more connected to the story (and player!) without having to alter the main plot all that much.

Investigate the supernatural! Hiro is pretty quickly established as having a ton of interest and belief in it, but believes it to be separate from his fortune-telling from a business perspective. If Sayaka and Kyoko both canonically have supernatural abilities, couldn't Hiro's own interest in the extraterrestrial play a role? After Kyoko reveals to the group her amnesia, Hiro could be the one to offer to help her figure it out, and potentially have the ability to pick up on her connection to the god of death (I could 100% see him referring to her as an 'angel of death' and misinterpreting his own reading as her being the cause, as more of a clue-in before she just drops that on us lol.) Also, having him know something's different/off about Kyoko would make him work as more of a role in the story and allow him to connect to Kyoko, trying to investigate in his own bumbling way but eventually sees her as a friend and wanting to trust her despite it. It'd double as a good reason for Kyoko to feel connected to the other survivors as well.

Accidental-older-brother-figure him. He's canonically several years older than the rest of the group; watch him accidentally start worrying over the rest of the survivors as the game goes on and give him a sibling-like relationship with them, particularly Hina and Toko. They all argue all the time anyway, so why not go that extra mile and sibling-code it? They squabble a ton, but when it comes down to an emergency, he should be the one putting himself between Monokuma and the survivors in the gym, defending Makoto and Kyoko in the ch 5 trial, checking on Jill after the bomb sends her flying. Let him worry about the others more!!!

This applies to everyone really, but you know how sdr2 and v3 have those unlockable scenes you can trigger by having the right items in your inventory? I really wish THH had those (besides the bathhouse one that doesn't count) so we could hang out with the other characters and let them develop more bonds with each other. I could see one with Hiro by getting him a new glass ball in chapter 2 and him giving out a free reading to 'test' the glass ball first, with Makoto, Chihiro, and Hina all getting readings. (Bonus points for Hiro supporting transfem Chihiro w/o expressly saying it. I'm imagining something like "I can see you're much stronger than you think you are, and self-doubt is your greatest enemy; keep being true to yourself" and her misinterpreting it as 'oh maybe I am cis and just haven't acknowledged it' and just. Tragic downfall)

[gogandmagog]

✨Anne Blythe’s (Anne Shirley-Blythe’s namesake granddaughter) father is not Jem. It’s Shirley. It’s totally Shirley, you guys. It’s gotta be.✨

And like, Ieading right off by saying of course there’s no definitive answer to be had here, since Maud obviously isn’t available to confirm or refute any hypothesises, but I do big persist in suggesting that a very rational case can be presented for Shirley... one that at least outweighs what I now see as the generally baseless widely accepted assumption that Anne is Jem’s daughter. Keep in mind, I’m in no way trying to dog on this. The assumption is ready and easy to make, and I’d accepted fully this theory too, until about a week agooo.

ABOUT A WEEK AGO, I was poring over various Wikipedia entries for the Anne book series, and inevitably also ended up looking through the edit history of those pages. While sorting through the edit history (super extensive and interesting, by the way), the username ‘blefebvre’ popped into the archive, contributing a ton of information to the Anne pages overall, around 2008 and 2009 particularly. And literally, who else could this user be besides THE Benjamin Lefebvre? Brilliant Maud scholar and essayist, inexhaustible editor and publisher of ‘the Blythes are Quoted’? Welllll, one of these edits, a written family tree of Anne and Gilbert’s grandchildren, mentioned Anne Blythe... and pointedly noted that she was either the daughter of Jem or Shirley.

Reading that? Already a huge jump-scare surprise to me. This immediately challenged what I thought I knew about the third generation of Blythes. I sat straight up in bed, brain doing a nosedive, like wait wait wait wait wait… hold on, what? We don’t know for sure? We don’t know for sure? 

Guys. We don’t know for sure. 

Whichhhhh sent me on an immediate hunt to gather up what we do know for sure. The facts we do have. And it wasn’t a huge task, either… there’s really not a lot to collect.

But here it is:

In ‘the Blythes are Quoted’, Anne Blythe is mentioned in only one story, titled “The Road to Yesterday” (not to be confused with the TBAQ abridged predecessor book of the same title 😅).

All we really have of her is her name, and a couple of superficial second-hand anecdotes from a guy named Jerry (who is impersonating a fellow named Dick, but more on this a little later).

Her paternity is unconfirmed, but because her surname is Blythe (not Ford or Meredith), we can logically eliminate the possibility of her belonging to Nan, Di, or Rilla. Walter was, of course, lost in France. This leaves Jem and Shirley. 

Tiny details about Anne.

As a matter of housekeeping, let me try to get the jump on any potential counter-arguments, and clear the air.

The only reason I’ve seen Jem credited with Anne is because…

1. Jem was married.

That’s the entire basis.

And I’ll grant you that. This is more than we got for Shirley. But let’s remember that at the end of ‘Rilla of Ingleside’, we only had a canon engagement between Jem and Faith... it takes getting around to ‘the Blythes are Quoted’ to absolutely conclude that their marriage went through. With the added extra bonus of finding out that they have children.

But even allowing that, ‘the Blythes are Quoted’ as an epilogue isn’t all inclusive. It isn’t a complete picture. It’s half a picture at the very best. Maud, pressured greatly, basically dumped all her disorganised, non-chronological and unedited Anne relevant WIPS + short stories + poems on her publisher's desk two days before she died. This is not a book that Maud put together, as a tailpiece collection. It was an assortment of partial works and in-character conversations that she’d tinkered with over decades. Works she never intended to see being published. They were vague ideas she was forming, little seeds. (It took a lot of effort from Benjamin Lefebvre to put TBAQ together in a readable way that made sense.)

Maud was over Anne. Over Anne by twenty years, at this point. So much so that noticeable character details and world building started slipping in Ingleside and Rilla… for obvious instance, in the lack of continuity around Shirley’s birth year, and the way readers saw almost no closure/representation for Shirley and Di, with varying degrees of near erasure in the original books. 

But this doesn’t mean that Maud didn’t have plans for these two characters... their incomplete or unsatisfying stories certainly weren’t nefariously intended to be that way (there’s no secret meaning to the exclusion); Montgomery was just depleted and had been feeling ruinously dispassionate about the Blythes stories since ‘Anne of the Island’.  

In ‘Reading Rilla’ we see in Maud’s many pages of left-out notes, that an ultimately scrapped journal entry from Rilla indicates that Diana Blythe wrote to their mother of her engagement to a foreign overseas officer. It’s unclear if this officer is the same ‘Austin boy’ that an older Glen woman in ‘the Blythes are Quoted’ privately wonders about (if Di 'really is engaged to him or not'), but this contradictory bit is probably just erroneous gossip from an unreliable narrator.  

Anyway. All of this to say... that just because we don’t have a canon marriage for Shirley, it doesn’t disqualify him from having had a wife and kids in Maud’s post-war Four Winds. TBAQ stories were, to reiterate, half-pictures. Pictures that did/could drop a plot bomb in a single sentence. Looping back to Di, canonly we don’t have a marriage for her either... and yet, we do have two engagements that half-register. One engagement was definitive, reported by Di herself. The other a passing curiosity from someone not close enough to the Blythe family to know.

So... clearly, Maud had active intention, a plan, for Di and her own little happy epilogue. The same can be believed for Shirley. (I’m dying for the day the ‘Rainbow Valley’ and ‘Ingleside’ manuscripts get published, I’m convinced there’s more Shirley be found in the notes.)   Now, let’s dig in to Anne Blythe herself.  

‘The Road to Yesterday’ is a short story about a woman named Susette (a spinster at 28), who is on the brink of an engagement to a wealthy man named Harvey Brooks. She expects the next day to be proposed to. On a whim and feeling nostalgic, she drives to Glen St. Mary, where she lived in her girlhood, for the evening. While there, she runs into a fellow, whom she believes to be Dick, her childhood bully who she hated profoundly. Except now, they’re grown and capable acting chummy over their shared memories. The weather takes a bad turn, and they take shelter and a meal together. Susette spends most of the time, all their ‘do you remembers’, being irritated by Dick’s constant name-dropping of the Blythes. He claims to have been kind of secret friends with Anne Blythe, which is contrary to Susette’s memory that Anne hated Dick. (In the end, it turns out that Susette was right… this isn’t Dick she’s talking to. It’s Jerry Thornton, Dick’s cousin.)

For the official record every Blythe mentioned in ‘the Road to Yesterday’ is as follows: Doctor Blythe, Mrs. Doctor Blythe, Rilla Ford, Jem Blythe [Jr.], Di Meredith [Jerry and Nan’s], and Anne Blythe.

It’s mostly a bunch of school yard talk, but the big takeaway for this purpose is that the Blythe/Meredith cousins all hung out together as school children.

Here’s some direct examples:

*****

*****

*****

The cheap boiled-down version of this exchange, for those who haven’t ‘the Road to Yesterday’ is basically: Susette is having strange feelings during this interaction with ‘Dick’, she’s attracted to him, declaring to herself that she won’t fall in love with him, and is clearly irritated with the near constant Anne Blythe (especially)/Blythe references. Though she herself was very fond of Jem Blythe Jr. herself, during their childhood, ‘Dick’ mentioning Anne Blythe so fondly is increasingly Not Cute to Susette. Meanwhile, ‘Dick’ is enjoying this kind of teasing, and is lowkey successful at getting a rise out of Susette, not matter how determined she is to look unaffected.  

But here’s the kicker... when ‘Dick’ finally leaves off mentioning Anne Blythe, guess what topic he moves on to? 🥁

The Royal Canadian Air Force.

And just who do we all know that was in the Royal Canadian Air Force?  

Shirley.

Only Shirley.  

First, it tracks that ‘Dick,’ soon enlisting (we’re on the brink of WWII timeline-wise), and thinking himself funny, would choose to move on from Anne Blythe to instead a subtler rib… what he, as a once good pal of Anne’s, would know was Anne’s dad’s war faction. It’s also in the realm of possibilities that thinking on Anne so much drew up this correlation. I also ALSO think it’s worth mentioning that the only other time that the Canadian Air Force is mentioned in TBAQ is a very passing drop for Rilla, thinking of her son Gilbert Ford enlisting with the CAF. That’s it. Just those two times.

Additionally important to note is the overall subtext tone in TBAQ, which is Maud’s very greatest collection of double-vision, double-speak and intertextual reference works. There’s a beautiful scholarly essay on this, in relation to TBAQ particularly HERE.

This doesn’t only apply to cultural references in TBAQ. It also adds layers to Maud’s own existing Anne series. It really could be considered a companion piece, with X-Ray vision, e.g. how we got a ton of ‘missing’ insight into Anne and her children’s lives and minds, during the Rainbow Valley era, in Part 1 of TBAQ.

Part 2 of TBAQ (where we find ‘the Road to Yesterday’) asks us to apply what we already know to the new text we’re given.

So, understanding this … if we’re going off what we already know from ‘Rilla of Ingleside’…

What’s the reason we have the Canadian Air Force mentioned in the same story that we learn of the existence of Anne Blythe? The connection?

It’s Shirley. 🥹

A weaker argument that I’ll only mention in mild passing, because it is very weak in terms of convincing evidence, is that the text unambiguously tells is that Anne Blythe has taught ‘Dick’ from Susan’s famous recipes. Susan is another Shirley tie. It’s there to be stated. BUT. I do admit that I think Susan would’ve taught every willing Blythe grandchild with the same zeal, maybe some partiality given to the Little Brown Boy’s kid(s).

BUT, for me?

I’m properly convinced here.

Shirley was a dad, ya’ll.

[enbycrip]

So given the Rowling stans crawling out of the woodwork to say they are still allies - or worse yet, community members - while still plastering Potter stuff all over their online presence by saying they “separate the art from the artist” after the latest acknowledgment that she is trying to swing Labour in an even more transphobic direction, a short primer on what “death of the author”, which is the origin for that less provocative phrase, actually means.

“Death of the author”, in extreme brief, is an academic construct that was developed at a time when the author as the sole arbiter of meaning in a text was very privileged in the discourse to help people understand that any interpretation of a work is valid *as long as it can be supported by textual evidence*. Your interpretation of a text, as the reader, is as valid as the author’s *if* you can produce just as much, or more, evidence from *within the text itself* that supports your interpretation.

This is particularly useful for students within an academic context.

It is *not* in any sense a reasonable justification to say that one is not *actively supporting* a living artist/author/creator, particularly one who has gained huge cultural influence and financial wealth, by buying and actively promoting their work.

Genuinely, I wouldn’t engage with work from a dead very bigoted artist without acknowledging their bigotry.

If I write about or produce a story set within the Cthulhu Mythos, you had better bet that I am acknowledging Lovecraft’s horrific and pervasive racism and misogyny and the effects of that within the Mythos.

If I write about or do some sketches that acknowledge Degas as an influence, you can bet that I am acknowledging his rampant racism and antisemitism and the fact that his familial wealth which allowed him to have the financial freedom to create the art he did was built on plantation slavery in the Caribbean.

If I write about or paint something with Klimt’s ethereal goldwork as an influence, you can bet I’m writing about his deeply abusive sexual relationships with the women he drew and painted, that he used sapphic eroticism in his work while sexually abusing working class sapphics he paid to model for him, and acknowledging that he had the freedom to produce that work because he got the women in his family to tend to his every whim and perform all his domestic labour for him.

That’s the basic acknowledgment you undertake while engaging with the work of someone deeply bigoted - *even* if they are not directly benefitting from your engagement with their work because they are deceased. The material conditions around how a work is produced and consumed are *always* relevant to that work, because otherwise we miss why, for example, privileged people have the time, resources and cachet to create art and have it be consumed *as* art, while other people never have the resources to do so or have the work they create relegated to categories like “domestic crafts” if it is acknowledged at all.

So just saying “I can separate art from the artist” while financially supporting a living bigot who continues to use your money and the cultural cache you are giving her by doing so to wreak genuine damage on the queer, especially trans, community - that’s basically both completely meaningless and incredibly disingenuous. Particularly when said bigot is *actively* attempting to parlay that financial and cultural influence into making an already very transphobic, racist and disableist political party who are, according to current polls, likely to be running the U.K. shortly, into supporting more actions that *will* materially harm trans people.

[lookingthroughmirrors]

There are people who think Annabeth is very powerful because she is the leader of the seven. What do you think about this? Is Annabeth really the leader of the seven and she is very powerful because she has "the control"?

I haven’t read much of the books of the heroes of Olympus series, but I think Annabeth as a character has always stayed the same in the fact that she has always had a superiority complex, to the point where it’s her fatal flaw, and I don’t think it’s discussed enough.

I suppose I think about it the same way I think about people saying that Annabeth was the leader between her, Percy and Grover. What it really was, was that Annabeth couldn’t be wrong and as you said, ‘have control’. Something I am familiar with from HOO is the scene between P*rcabeth and Akhlys, and I think it’s a very clear representation of Annabeths character, particularly her reaction to the events of the scene. She is scared because she doesn’t have control. It’s all but confirmed when she says “some things aren’t meant to be controlled” which then leads to a Percy spiral and him passively thinking about suicide, which, is its own entire thing but I think it’s very relevant when talking about Annabeth. Particularly because it all comes back to control.

I truly believe Annabeth is only viewed as a leader because she likes to have control, and her superiority complex that she’s automatically better because she’s a daughter of Athena, which again, is shown entirely from her introduction in the first book, and is pretty central to her character as a whole. I think Percy and Jason probably acted the most like the leader, and I kinda feel like Annabeths role is pretty interchangeable. Personally, I think bringing Thalia back to be part of the seven would’ve been more impactful. Especially because when you look at the quests the OG trio went on, Annabeth doesn’t really do anything in particular that means they would’ve failed had she not been there. Which is why I also don’t think Percy gets enough credit for the role he played in his own quests.

Every single member of the seven had better, more interesting and are factually more powerful than Annabeth. They did not need Annabeth there to do that quest, and I think that really Jason and Percy acted more like leaders, both of which have also been leaders in the past and have more experience (Jason through the legion and Percy through TLO, since he led all of camp halfblood against the titan army. Percy did, not Annabeth, Percy did but that’s besides the point). I think Annabeth is simply elevated because she’s a fan favourite, not because she is a leader or anything. And I don’t mind Annabeths character, if her flaws are addressed.

So no I don’t think Annabeth is overly powerful, and I think the only reason she’s seen as the leader of the seven is because she’s the only one who cares about being seen as leader, in comparison to the others to an extent. I really think it was more that nobody had the energy to fight her on it, then her being the true leader.

I hope this answers your question! Also feel free to ask more I love getting these, it’s exciting!!

[chaifootsteps]

It really upsets and angers me that any employee who talks about really bad working conditions at Spindlehorse is immediately called a liar and a hater because other employees, who are often quite close to Viv herself, say that they PERSONALLY fine with Viv and they did not observe any mistreatment. I am really glad that they are doing well, but why is their experience equal to the experience of everyone else on the team? If someone has complaints, isn't this a reason to conduct an inspection, ask people about what is wrong, collect feedback? Yes, they are an indie studio, but that is not the reason they are so negligent about working conditions. ESPECIALLY when you have a fairly decent studio by indie standards. Absolutely all employees have the right to good working conditions and no one should be treated differently. I don't care if Sam, Mel or Morgana were fine when others talk about their experience. A lot of people know about Viv's favoritism.

And dear fans, stop trying to cover for Viv. I admire how much effort you are willing to put into defending it and enduring every scandal, but sometimes you have to be able to admit that something is clearly wrong when there are quite a lot of bad reviews of the studio and every few months the studio is looking for new employees. This clearly doesn't just happen. At least once try to doubt your idol and take the place of those who are afraid to say something against. Stop defending ONLY Viv for once. She won’t get anything from all these stories anyway, and she personally doesn’t care about the opinions of former employees, so at least once listen to those who share THEIR experience.

Powerwolf anon 🐺

Thank you for pointing this one out, because this one drives me particularly crazy. It especially crops up on Twitter when the animation leads are showing off shots they did, and Viv's fandom will be like "See, see?! They're having a wonderful time and proud to be doing this and getting paid fairly for it!"

Of course they are, they're the animation leads.

Also, because this never ceases to be relevant where Viv is concerned...

[multifandumbmeg]

Alright SCREW IT here's my Kiara defense post:

Is it annoying to watch get paired off with everyone in the main cast? Sure. Let me explain why that's not a character flaw or terrible, unplanned writing so yall can put some respect on her name.

1. They're ALL in love with her, and literally throwing themselves at her all the time. This is so important and well-documented that John B literally tells us IN HIS INTRODUCTION TO THE GROUP in episode one. It is literally so relevant to their entire group dynamic that he brings it up in the first episode summary of who they all are. Guys actually do this I have seen this happen. One of my high school best friends was constantly manic pixie dream girled (despite being profoundly depressed) and several entire friend groups of boys fell in love with her. She dated one guy, who was a piece of shit and dumped her saying it was because of his parents but told his friends it was because she had too much baggage. The fallout was so bad, one guy from one of the friend groups tattled to her and a different guy, who was best friends with the douche, literally got into a fight with him and THE DOUCHE HAD TO CHANGE FRIEND GROUPS BECAUSE HIS BOYS KICKED HIM OUT. I'm serious about these teenage boys all having the same taste and thinking it's a competition.

2. John B kissed HER. She immediately shut him down. Immediately. Everything before that can easily be explained as Kiara being concerned about him after losing his father. Teenage boys are dumb anyhow, but it's particularly easy to see why John B and JJ, who have both been routinely neglected and grew up without mothers (read, any positive female attention/influence) would interpret this as Kiara having feelings for them. They fall in love with anyone who sincerely gives them the time of day, basically. And that's a little too relatable moving on.

3. "Mixed signals" by kissing boys on the cheek. While I would not recommend this, I think there was a very clear pattern to her behavior and I have a theory I'm 99% sure is canon, based on copious textual evidence.

Kiara was in love with JJ all along. I'll come back to this. She only kissed the boys she friendzoned on the cheek. With John B, I genuinely think she never had any sort of romantic feelings for him and just saw him as a best bro. But she was worried about him, and maybe realized he listened to her more when she did it. Nonetheless, the minute he gets with Sarah it's almost like she feels relieved and never does anything remotely mixed signals to him again. Now Pope? That is a rich text. What the hell is going on with her and Pope?

4. When Pope first confesses, Kiara is once again caught off-guard. She once again rightfully turns him down IMMEDIATELY and gives extremely accurate and self-aware reasons. Her rejection of him is surprisingly mature, that the life he plans on and wants is ultimately and assuredly not compatible with what she wants for herself. So why did she kinda date him? Honestly, I think it was an attempt to move on from what she believed were doomed feelings for JJ. After all the things that happen in season 1, after Pope going off the deep end a little bit by smoking weed, getting drunk, and engaging in acts of violence, as well as ditching his scholarship interview, Kiara suddenly experiences a spark of attraction towards Pope.

Because he's acting like JJ. Reckless. Using substances to cope. Chaotic. Spontaneous. She knows these things are bad for Pope, and she's at times put off by how un-Pope-like they are as his friend, but she has a type. So following a moment of attraction and the sudden supposed loss of John B (and Sarah), she decides to give it a go. Maybe Pope's different after everything that happened. And he is, but not quite the way she was expecting. To link this back to the cheek-kissing thing, honestly, I think Kiara lowkey has the ick 😂. She consistently shoves any of the boys who try to touch her at all away except for JJ, the entire series mind you, except for these little cheek kisses like that's all she can manage to do. She kisses Pope like twice and ends up sleeping with him, at which point she realizes she just can't do it. She's not consistently attracted to her, and she can't get past her feelings for JJ, so she calls it off. Again, that's a fair healthy, and kind thing to do. When you realize it's not going to work, especially if you have feelings for someone else, it is distinctly NOT dragging people around to cut it off. If Kie has a real problem, honestly? I think it's that ultimately she wants a man she can fix. And Pope's fine. So that's him out.

My proof that the writers absolutely intended Kiara to have feelings for JJ from day one:

"Did you tell JJ?" specifically. Just JJ. She doesn't want HIM to think she's taken.

Shoving away John B and Pope every time they try to hug her or put an arm around her etc. Letting JJ hug her, take her hand, sling his arm around her etc. She also goes out of her way to touch him by taking his arm, holding him when he's crying, hugging him several times and then almost kissing him. So in a way, I'd very much like you to consider, Kiara was not in fact sending everyone mixed signals, her problem was that she was so consistent. Consistently attracted to and in love with someone she thought had no real interest in her. JJ flirts with her jokingly, and from episode 1 and the convo in the bell tower between John B and Sarah, we know that he's a horny little dude. And that's not surprising either, because people who've been abused tend to go one way or the other- either very physical touch-seeking in an attempt to balance about the bad, or very touch-avoidant. JJ is clearly, demonstably in column A. Not just with Kiara, but he also initiates hugs with John B and Pope, touches their faces, and even kisses Pope on the cheek once. He's clearly a very touchy person with everyone, so I can see how Kiara would be unsure about his feelings when he very much does not communicate his wants or needs with words.

Finally, the proof that Kiara had feelings for JJ, and that Jiara was the direction the show was headed, was in their conversation in thr storage container. When JJ tells her what he wants from life and plans to do with the money, it's a direct parallel to her initial reject of Pope. He wants to travel the world and be spontaneous and non-sedentary and have no use for money. Everything she said to Pope and is always trying to explain to her parents. That was 0% accidental, that was the writers making it clear: these two are a match, they're compatible on a much deeper level.

4. So if they always planned on JJ and Kiara, why didn't those two just get together to start? The answer, my friends, is jealousyy. This is a common tactic in writing to get a couple together: force the reluctant one to acknowledge their feelings by putting the other in a relationship with someone else. Im short: every moment between Kiara and John B or Pope was to show us JJ did not like that and therefore that his feelings for Kiara were serious, unlike how she interpreted them and him being a flirty himbo with other girls. It also helped Kiara realize she wasn't getting over him any time soon, and that she couldn't avoid her feelings either. So it forced them both to give up and acknowledge to themselves that they had feelings for the other.

5. "Teenage girls don't act like her" JOKES. This is the dumbest argument I've seen, I'm sorry. I'm happy you have met such well-adjusted teenage girls but buddy... I have known some teenage girls and people who used to identify as girls at that age who would make you roll over in your grave. Some people don't know what they want, some people desperately crave attention, some people just can't seem to avoid drama or make good choices and sometimes that's even a resulted of untreated disabilities or mental illness. Sometimes it's all of the above. My point is absolutely there are teenage girls who act like Kiara and faaar worse.

6. Lastly, why not John B or Pope? Why was Kiara totally valid for not liking them romantically? Well feelings are feelings so she's valid anyways but can we talk about them both touching her/making moves at inappropriate times without consent?? It's understandable she likes JJ and feels the safest around him when he's the only who doesn't act like he wants or expects anything from her. He never kisses her without consent, let alone while running from the cops randomly. He never tries to put his arm around her or make a move in the middle of them having an emotionally intimate conversation where she is clearly seeking emotional comfort. I'm not saying John B or Pope are bad people, but with Kiara both showed a lot of immaturity and failed to read the room numerous times. They acted whenever they personally felt attraction, regardless of where she was at at the time. There's such a thing as reading body signals, and the only times JJ comes close to making an actual move on Kiara is when she comes to him, gets close to his face and leans in. In the end, he only kisses her after she looks him dead in the eyes and tells him I LOVE YOU. That's on respect. Also, John B and Pope both get their shit together and learn this with their next girlfriends! So good on them!

But Kiara confessed to JJ at a random time too! I hear you shouting. NAY. Incorrect!! JJ is actively avoiding her and having a mature conversation about how they feel about each other, and also the fact that he stole from her family, and that is on HIM. That is a result of his issues and his fear and poor coping mechanisms. Kiara forced him to address it at an inopportune time because she already attempt to address it privately TWICE and he wouldn't let her. So all she did there was clear the air and make her own feelings known, which he needed to hear. That is the last conversation they have before he attempts to apologize and confess back. That is what convinces him that Kiara's feelings for him are both genuine and serious, and that no amount of pushing her away will succeed. She loves him unconditionally, which he did not know was possible until then.

So in short!! Kiara actually behaves like a real human being. She's not crazy, extremely selfish, nor an example of writers just testing out the waters and seeing what the fans want or who has the most chemistry. She is very consistent. The only thing I can really begrudge about her behavior towards her friends (her parents are a different story) is that she's insensitive to both John B and Pope after rejecting them, which I believe is because she doesn't realize they had actual feelings for her so much as thinking she's hot.

[vienna-salvatori]

I just finished the silt verses (absolutely amazing, my heart is broken) and uh. well.

y'know how the episode titles make a poem?

It fits really well if you think it's Paige saying it, around the same time as the closing narration of the final episode. The sentiment matches VERY WELL with her approach to the Wound Tree, and what she's expecting to happen afterwards.

Evidence below the cut

Here's the poem, in full. Particularly relevant lines are bold.

Let me speak first of revelations/ and next of dark deceit Then I'll speak of champions/ of lovers, gods, and beasts My song is long and twisted/ it winds, it worms, it wends It carries few, it drowns many/ and those I love, it rends My song has taken hold of me/ it grips my tongue, my throat My voice cries truths I never knew/ and to fight is just to choke So let me dwell eternal/ and in ruined flesh ascend For my song has no beginning/ and the current flows on without end If I could trace with bloodless fingers/ If my hands could shape the flow I'd bear this song to the precipice/ and rend us both to dust below We'd both go plunging downwards/ One final fall from grace I'd howl, I'd scream, in victory/ And we'd be gone without a trace But we'll never be rid of each other/ my song, my sorrow, and I So I'll bear it trembling onwards/ to drift on, to dream, to die And where my final footsteps fall/ something dreadful shall arise Its gaze shall fall o'er trembling plains/ its wrath shall scald the sun And where once its howling forebears walked/ some day there shall be none The wise man knows the taste of rot/ all lovers part as dust And even the kings in their bowers of steel/ shall wither in ruin and rust This rotten world shall wheeze its last/ this hateful hymn shall cease But as my last breath splits my throat/ I'll wheeze through splintered teeth One last song of revelations/ of prophets' dark deceptions Of love, and gods' defeat Of love, and gods' defeat

and those I love, it rends: Pretty self explanatory. Paige has no idea what actually killed Shrue, Hayward, or Carpenter. Or Faulkner, for that matter... but she knows Shrue was killed while uttering the prayer-marks of their god, so assuming she was hallowed by it is a pretty reasonable guess. She knows Hayward martyred himself to buy her time. Her god already claimed her father's life, and as far as she knows, probably took Hayward at a minimum too. Even if they weren't claimed by it directly, they still died in service to, or as a result of, the cause of the god she decided to champion.

So let me dwell eternal/ and in ruined flesh ascend: "ascend" very much brings to mind sainthood or hallowing, and there are VERY few people who would talk like they're a) expecting that to happen and b) are actually pretty unbothered by the concept. Paige knows she's doomed, and she's come to accept that.

But we'll never be rid of each other: Acantha/The Cairn Maiden explicitly confirms this in chapter 41: Paige won't be free of her god, in either life or death.

And where my final footsteps fall/ something dreadful shall arise Its gaze shall fall o'er trembling plains/ its wrath shall scald the sun And where once its howling forebears walked/ some day there shall be none and This rotten world shall wheeze its last/ this hateful hymn shall cease Paige's conversation with The Cairn Maiden pretty much confirms this, too. She knows: a) Paige's own death is coming. She already has plants growing out of her own body, her transformation is not really in doubt at this point. b) the wound tree is already starving, and raging against the world as it does so- Paige, as its prophet, has a front-row seat to this. The Cairn Maiden confirms that this is common behaviour for a dying god. c) All gods die. All gods will die, in the end, and Paige's movement will be a part of that. d) The Cairn Maiden was waiting for the god-winds to die down. They did, in the finale, thanks to Val.

So: Paige knows her ending is here, on the now-silent plains. She knows her god is dying already, and she has set the plans in motion to make sure it does die. She will transform, and it will rage, but eventually- eventually- it will die, and so will all the other gods.

Howling forebears, splintered teeth- a minor point, here, but the word choice is specific: "howling forebears" is clearly a reference to the god-winds, now quieted in the Grace and blowing elsewhere. "Splintered teeth" is interesting because Paige mentions "broken teeth" as one of the features of her inevitable transformation in her closing narration. We also get "trembling plains" in the poem, and while I think the only reference to this area as "plains" is in the transcript, it does fit with the environment.

Obviously the poem is about the Silt Verses as a whole, too- the Carpenter and Faulkner relationship is evident in the titles as well- but if this thing exists in universe, I'm pretty damn sure that Paige is the one reciting it.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not defending an ex-friend when people called her a slut?

I (20 f) fell out with my best friend and roommate M (20 f) at the end of sophomore year of college. reason we fell out isn't the main subject of this post but I think it's relevant so I'll try and keep it as brief as possible.

For context I'm Black attending a VERY white school. Frenshman year I was the only black girl in my building and this was just post-covid so student groups were pretty dead. So first trimester most of my college friends were the girls from my floor including M (white) and S (20f, asian american). It was very isolating tbh, esp bc I experienced a lot of microaggressions, but the girls I befriended were pretty good at sharing my outrage and letting me confide in them.

The worst incident was when at a party, a guy (G, white) made some very racist comments towards me and in general (said the n-word a few times). I admit I escalated it by engaging w him and the whole thing got out of hand, a lot of people saw, and he got a reputation as a racist. Afterwards, he was always rude to me, blaming me for egging him on while drunk and just constantly making disrespectful comments about me and my 'attitude' where i could hear. no one ever said anything to his face but were supportive of me after the fact - S was always particularly supportive and said she could relate.

I was generally fine with avoiding G esp in sophomore year when we moved out. I lived with M and another friend (P) and it went pretty well. We were asked in like November if we would renew our lease, and though M and I wanted to the third friend didn't, so we began to think of replacements, and S was looking for a place.

Thing is, while S and I were still on good terms I felt like she was being a bit secretive w me. She'd often come over and talk privately w M and I got the gist she was seeing someone and didn't want me to know. I shook it off as us growing apart and the fact I'd gotten more involved in Black student groups and hadn't hung around with our dorm friends as much, but then in Jan, as we were planning to sign the new lease, I found out she was dating G. Tbh at this point we weren't even close friends that I felt a strong personal betrayal, but more so I was mad at them both for not telling me while making plans for us to live together. They knew I was uncomfortable around G and wouldn't want to live w his gf, esp without knowing. It felt like they were almost purposefully going behind my back.

I didn't do anything at the time, just slowly backed out of the lease renewal and made other arrangements. I stopped hanging out with S almost completely and was just cordial w her and took a big step back from M and our dorm friends.

The other relevant bit of context here is M had a boyfriend (T, 20 m) who was in our freshman dorm and very close to our year one friends (lived with them sophomore year and now junior year too). She broke up w him in Feb, which led to a lot of her friendships w our dorm friends (her only friends really) to deteriorate a bit, esp as she was no longer super comfy hanging around where he was. this especially became an issue in the spring trimester bc she got a new boyfriend over the break, a friend from her classes T hadn't liked.

So, M kept pressuring me to hang out w her and our dorm friends a lot more, which inevitably meant seeing S and now G, who they'd all decided they were cool being around when I distanced myself. I told her why i didn't want to and I didn't want to see G again but she promised he had 'changed' and wouldn't say anything to me. eventually I folded and went out w them all once and it honestly sucked. M completely abandoned me to be w her other friends, G didn't say anything but kept glaring at me the whole time, and I felt very out of place. afterwards I told M i was sorry, I know she felt awkward around her ex without me, but I wouldn't do that again.

She left it till like the end of the year then there was a big dinner she really wanted to go to that T would be at (her bf was not invited), w all our dorm friends. I kept saying I wouldn't go, but then she told me she checked w the hosts and confirmed (and promised) G wouldn't be coming. I said okay but asked we sit next to each other and made it clear how I felt around S etc, and she agreed and promised we would. Long story short G was there, I wound up next to S and across from him snickering at me the whole time, with her on the other end of the table. I texted M about it, she said it was 'fine' and I was imagining it and to try and enjoy the gathering.. yeah no. I dipped before desert, she chased me outside asking what was up and I explained why i was upset, she said i can't expect her to be there for me the whole night and she's allowed to 'have a good night without my drama,' i said racism wasn't drama and she literally dragged me along to deal with her drama, nevermind my comfort, and that she was an incredibly selfish friend for putting me in this position. I left, she wound up crying with everyone comforting her, everyone there (M included) went off at me for being an unsupportive friend/dredging up year old drama with G/overall making everything about race, I cut them all off and moved my stuff into my girlfriend's place a week after all this and didn't speak to anyone since.

which is pretty much all the backstory (longer than the main bit, sorry), that gets us to the actual AITA situation. Junior year starts, I'm at a welcome back party w some other friends and i'm vaguely aware my old dorm friends (including S and G) are also here, but it's a huge party and i'm w my very supportive friends who ik will back me if anything happens so i dont really care. eventually M arrives w her bf, gives me an awkward look but doesn't say anything to me.

Then at some point, I'm upstairs using the bathroom and I hear the girls from our dorm group speaking to M in the hallway. Apparently it came out over summer she'd hooked up w her new boyfriend before she ended things with T and they were all pissed at her (esp for her playing the victim w her ex). I tried to stay in the bathroom until the conversation ended but someone was pounding on the door and I wound up having to get out and waddle past them awkwardly to get back downstairs. When I got out one of the girls was calling M a slut and other names and while i tried to avoid it I accidentally made eye contact with M, who was super upset and crying. I kinda just shrugged and went downstairs.

Later that night i got a long ass message from her new bf about how he knows I'm upset with her but it wasn't fair for me to just leave her in that situation, and that it was petty and selfish of me (esp bc I'm usually the person calling out this shit). I spoke to my gf, and she said she understands why i did nothing but also that it's never okay for people to call someone a slut. I agree with that 100% and in any other case i might have tried to diffuse the situation (like if it was safe and I thought I could). I've told a couple friends who think I did nothing wrong and it wasn't fair to expect me to say smth when she never said/did anything to defend me and that she had it coming, but my mom told me I should've done the kind thing and not stoop to their level and it's made me feel really bad. I think I might be TA bc i could have stood up for her without anything bad happening to me beyond being in an uncomfortable convo, and also bc it kinda felt good seeing her friends turn on her? Like she threw me under the bus to be in their good books and defend them and they dropped her ass anyway, and if I acted from a vengeful place then thats asshole-y of me. but also no one in this story has apologised to me once and as my friend says its not fair to rely on black ppl to fix racist white ppls mess.

so, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[our-happygirl500-fan]

I’ve been thinking about the episode Battle Nexus New York & I was wondering why Big Mama chose the enemies she did to tie to each of the Turtles

Big Mama: Each of you is linked to an enemy and you will need to work together to complete a challenge against one of my Battle Nexus Champions!

Raph is tied to Ghost Bear, Mikey is tied to Meat Sweats, Leo is tied to one of the Sandro Brothers & Donnie is tied to Hypno

Raph: I’m tag team partners with Ghost Bear? Thank you Big Mama!

Mikey: I get to team up with my favourite celebrity chef! Thank you Big Mama!

The choice to tie Ghost Bear to Raph & Mikey to Meat Sweats seems like an obvious one considering that Raph’s a fan of Ghost Bear & Mikey is a fan of Meat Sweats, they also have skills relevant to Raph & Mikey’s Battle Nexus New York Challenges of Wrestling & Cooking.

However if the Battle Nexus New York partners were chosen for who the Turtle’s would like to work with then it would have made more sense to partner Leo up with Hypno for his love of magic. Hypno might have actually been a good choice for Leo’s Battle Nexus New York partner as well considering a magician is also a performer

However if Leo’s Battle Nexus New York challenge required Leo to have a performer as his partner, the fact that the Sandro Brothers were said to be acrobats in a circus before they were mutated might be the reason why one of them was chosen as Leo’s partner.

However I’m wondering if the reason why Big Mama chose one of the Sandro Brothers as Leo’s partner was just because they were performers or if there was another reason.

In Rise the Sandro brothers have two notable episodes which they appear in, ‘The Evil League of Mutants’ & ‘Man VS Sewer’

Leo: This is why you never go to New Jersey!

Big Mama might have chosen one of the Sandro brothers for Leo for the opposite reason that she chose Ghost Bear for Raph & Meat Sweats for Mikey, in contrast to Big Mama giving Raph & Mikey someone they would like to work with she gave Leo someone he’d primarily view as an enemy.

Leo: You know how savage Raph gets when he’s alone, he’ll totally loose it if we don’t find him fast. Clocks ticking

The episode Man vs Sewer is also a notable episode for presenting Leo’s leadership skills before he was made leader so one of the Sandro brothers being chosen as Leo’s Battle Nexus New York partner might be a slight nod to that episode & Leo’s future as the leader of the team.

Why Hypno was chosen as Donnie’s Battle Nexus New York partner is difficult to say, Hypno has pretty much nearly always faced the Turtle’s as a group & has never really singled out a specific Turtle. If specific enemies were chosen for each Turtle one of the Purple Dragon’s might have been a better fit for Donnie (though they aren’t mutants).

The only time Hypno has ever really faced Donnie specifically is when Donnie fought him in the episode The Evil League of Mutants (which might also tie in with Leo’s partner since Leo fought the Sandro brothers in the same episode).

But other than the fact that Donnie fought Hypno in the episode The Evil League of Mutants there isn’t really a specific reason that Hypno was chosen as Donnie’s partner, Donnie isn’t a fan of stage magic & Hypno isn’t particularly suited for Donnie’s Battle Nexus New York Challenge of winning a chess game either.

Leo: I bet he used a secret door!

Donnie: Ah trickery, the science of cowards

Hypno: Full disclosure I don’t know the laws of the sport

The reason that Hypno was chosen as Donnie’s Battle Nexus New York partner might be the opposite reason of why his brothers partners were chosen in that Donnie was given a partner who wasn’t a good fit for his challenge & similarly to Leo’s partner Donnie might have been given a partner he wouldn’t get along with since Hypno is all about (stage) magic while Donnie prefers science.

Donnie: I’m the science guy, if mystic powers can do everything I can do but better then why would you guys even need me?

Hypno might have been made Donnie’s partner as a small reminder on Donnie’s own insecurities of science vs magic.

So for the Battle Nexus New York Partners; Raph & Mikey were given partners who were suited to their challenges, who they would want to work with, Leo was given a partner who was suited to his challenge but who Leo wouldn’t want to work with & Donnie was given a partner who wasn’t suited for his challenge who Donnie wouldn’t really want to work with either.

[salisburyliam]

My WORST to BEST ranking for Heaven's Secret 2 LIs

Oh boy I finally did it!!!! never want to read this book ever again, lmao

NOTE 1: We all know that HS2 has its flaws —S1 feels like a fever dream— but personally one that really irks me is not being able to choose whether or NOT you want to marry your LI. I mention this because many LIs routes are (negatively) affected by this sudden marriage imo

NOTE 2: Winchesto you deserve so much better than Rebecca.

7. Dino - He's never been a character I've been particularly fond of, but at least in HS1 he had some narrative importance (the dynamic with Lucifer was a lot of fun too). His relevance in HS2 is, well, zero & I personally don't feel the chemistry between Vicky and him at all. That being said. Of all the LIs, the only one with whom the wedding makes absolute sense is with Dino - he's 100% husband material.

Being good should not be equivalent to being boring… but in Dino's case, it is. 4/10

6. War - His dynamic with Vicky is… okay-ish? I guess??? They are a hot couple (I personally love his design & his laugh is sexy af) but the connection is lacking & there is no emotional intimacy whatsoever. They keep saying they're in love but are theeey? You don't know each other. Also, if you decide not to k*ll him and don't romance him later in s2 he's literally just a background character. 

I don't think this man is ready to be a husband - he should get therapy first. 5/10

5. Hunger - If it were a matter of rating characters, Hunger would be in the top three. His first appearance is one of my favorite scenes in the book along with the board game moment, lmao. But if it comes to rating him as a LI… The relationship feels rushed, to say the least. Marrying a character who appears halfway through the second season makes no sense at all - their wedding scene is just weird.

You guys met like five episodes ago. How about we start by dating first? 6/10

his smile is unsettling lol 4. Malbonte - Replaying this book so many times has made me really appreciate Malbonte. A soldier who will do whatever it takes to win. I love how everyone assumes that he always, always, has a plan (he usually does). But as a LI? His main emotion is rage and pure indifference. As a husband for life, I don't understand how that could work: I can imagine Vicky asking him how his day was and Malbonte's only response being '….' 😐🙄 Go boy give us nothing!

Seriously though. I really love him as a character, but he needs to join War in that therapy thing. 7/10

3. Astaroth - The first interactions are awful & personally his sprite doesn't help either (he's literally a male M*ley Cyrus) but he has so much chemistry with Vicky, it surprised me. Their relationship feels organic as you progress, but just like the rest of the characters that appear in the second book, it all feels rushed. The wedding option should ONLY have been available for characters that appeared in the previous book - with new ones it just feels unearned.

Still, it had potential. 8/10

2. Mimi - The only female LI (how's that legal) and one of my favorites. tbh I think she's TOO good for Vicky??? lmao. A character who is impossible not to adore (even judgy Rebecca gives her approval), in-laws anyone would love to have, and a route that is equal parts endearing and passionate. I confess I kinda miss her sprite from the first book tho

The only reason she's not at the top of the list is the motherf*cker below. 9/10 

1. Lucifer - Simply put, they feel like soulmates - especially if you choose Angel's path (he was my LI in the first book so that also plays into it). I haaate his behavior in S1, but even with that rocky start the dynamic between Vicky and Lucifer is, and will always be, one of my favorites. They have everything: chemistry, banter, passion, vulnerability moments... I love the contrast of the Lucifer from HS1 with the Lucifer in the final episode. That's growth.

I sincerely hope the third book focuses on their married life and, hopefully, Lucifer being a girl dad 😍😍 10/10

CREDIT

[yuesya]

I wonder if in the twins au that geto can sense if Shiki's piloting the body, or even if she's not. Would those two ever trust him enough to tell him?

Is that Satoru?

Suguru's footsteps falter and stutter to a stop in the middle of the street. The distinctive color of his classmate's stark white hair stands out easily against the sea of darker hair colors, particularly in the evening lighting. Somehow, he finds himself automatically turning to chase after the other boy without any real reason for it.

... Well, no, there is a reason. It's late, and while Suguru was returning from a lengthy mission. Satoru, on the other hand, has no such excuse. What's he doing out so late? Isn't he concerned about missing curfew? ... Granted, it was a rather loose curfew that was rarely enforced by the teachers, but considering how they'd just riled up Yaga-sensei the other day, Suguru would really rather not risk it.

"Satoru!"

Of course he's ignored, ugh. Suguru quickens his pace and runs a few steps, turning the corner-

Satoru is gone.

... What?

When he confronts his classmate about it the next morning, Satoru immediately laughs at him and teases Suguru about missing him so much that he's seeing him everywhere. Suguru rolls his eyes and cuffs his irritating fellow first year upside the head, but doesn't think too much about it. Maybe he was right. Maybe Suguru had just been tired-

But when similar occurrences arise on multiple other instances throughout the school year, it's clear that there's something wrong.

Eventually, Suguru manages to catch Satoru on one of his nightly outings. He slides in next to the other boy where he's sitting at a ramen booth, disgruntled.

"You know, you could've just told me you wanted some time to yourself or something, instead of gaslighting me into thinking that I was going crazy by imagining you where you're not supposed to be."

Surprisingly, Satoru doesn't respond the way he usually would. Instead of turning towards Suguru with an unrepentant retort or some other infuriating response, Satoru tilts his head as he turns towards him and-

Suguru blinks. Is it just the dim lighting here, or are Satoru's eyes a little darker than usual?

"Hello, Suguru."

Instantly, he's put on guard. Cursed energy coils beneath his fingertips, and he narrows his eyes, "You're not Satoru."

Fuck. Fuck. Suguru knows he'd followed Satoru out from the school grounds, and he knows that he hadn't lost track of his classmate, so the person sitting in front of him could only be Gojo Satoru -except he wasn't, and that realization felt like an entire bucket of ice-water being upended over his head, with Suguru struggling to keep calm through his horror.

What in the world was going on?

"I'm not, no," 'Satoru' agrees, setting his chopsticks down to the side. "My name is Gojo Shiki. It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Geto Suguru."

It's only the fact that they're sitting in a busy area filled with innocent passerby and the distinct lack of hostile intent that prevents Suguru from summoning a cursed spirit or two in order to-

-wait just a fucking minute.

'Gojo?'

Suguru frowns. As outlandish as it sounded... did Satoru have an alternate personality, or something? Furthermore, using the personal pronoun 'atashi' rather than Satoru's typical 'ore'... indicated that this was a female personality, which added another level of unreal to it all.

Was this anything similar to a sort of, 'Jekyll and Hyde' situation? ... So did that make Satoru 'Jekyll' or 'Hyde?'

Wait, no, that wasn't really relevant right now.

"What happened to Satoru?" he demands.

Satoru -or rather, Shiki- smiles, and it's such a bizarre feeling to see Satoru's face smiling like that, small and secretive like there's some inside joke that Suguru doesn't know about.

"Toru-nii is asleep," she says. "He'll be back in the morning, don't worry."

That eases his worries slightly, but Suguru knows that he won't be able to rest easy until he sees that for himself with his own eyes the following day. "And... what are you? Why is Satoru- how did you- when-?"

Somehow, 'Shiki' is able to parse through Suguru's incoherent confusion, a skill that he'd previously only attributed to Satoru. "I am 'Gojo Shiki.' The Gojo Clan's taboo. Toru-nii is my brother, and we've coexisted with each other in this state for sixteen years."

Since birth? "How has no one ever noticed?"

Another twitch of the lips into a small smile; this one decidedly sharper than the first. "Don't you know? Two can keep a secret if one is dead."

Suguru tenses. Shiki laughs, in a voice that's undoubtedly Satoru's but also so clearly isn't.

"You're cute," she giggles. "Oh, I bet you'd make the most beautiful screams if I killed you... but then Toru-nii would be cross with me. Such a pity. Want to share some ramen?"

"..." Talking with Shiki makes Suguru feels like he's getting whiplash. He has so many questions. When he gets ahold of Satoru again, he's definitely going to shake the other boy down for some proper answers, goddamnit. Why had he never told Suguru about something as important as this? What the hell??

"Ramen, Suguru?"

"... Sure."

[maybeimamuppet]

Do you believe Regina is redeemable?

ohhhhh buddy the whole can of worms this opened

to make a long story short: yes.

to make a long story longer with a tw for mentioned child abuse/neglect and suicidal ideation

i think every iteration of her deserves a shot at redemption.

canonically regina is at most seventeen years old. yes, she’s almost an adult. yes, she does and has done despicable things at this age and even younger. but she is still young. she is still a child. to completely, black and white say, that she is at her core an unredeemable monster who doesn’t even deserve to try does a complete and utter disservice both to her and the people she’s hurt in her past. to say she will be the way she is forever negates all the suffering she goes through and puts others through in canon, misguided though it is.

regina is also basically the textbook for a personality disorder and specifically bpd. borderline is (in a lot of cases i’ll say rightfully) very harshly judged. there’s a lot of stigma around it and cluster b disorders as a whole. but bpd is also caused for the most part by neglect and abuse in childhood. we only ever see regina’s dad in 2004 canon, for a single scene, crying over regina wearing the rabbit halloween costume. he’s completely absent in both the stage show and 2024. and looking at her mom, it is very obvious something has happened to the both of them and that this child (or neither of these children if you include kylie from 2004) is/are not getting the emotional guidance, support, and attention they need. who knows what happened before canon as well. who knows what her dad was like.

speaking as someone who also probably has bpd (which i discovered through doing research to write her better) i can say it is a terrifying experience. i’m lucky in that i’m able to resist my compulsions most of the time, but having them at all is beyond terrifying sometimes. i am filled with rage on a hair trigger these days. sometimes i’m able to process this anger in a healthy way. i can rationalize. i can think through it. i can calm myself down.

other times i can’t. i can only glance through the mean girls tag on ao3 now because if i look at numbers or think for too long about it, i compare the new fics that have come with the 2024 movie to things i’ve written. to see these fics that, while fantastic, are much shorter or don’t have as much effort put into them as what i do get literally ten times the love does hurt, as much as i adore and appreciate what i do get.

by nature with my other illnesses i have to pour my entire heart and soul, blood sweat and tears into every word i put on a page. every fic i’ve done is a piece of me that sometimes feels like i’ve torn it out of myself and given you to read. sometimes seeing that get 150 hits compared to a cadina fic that’s half as long (but again, still amazing! they all deserve every hit and kudos and comment and whatever) getting up to 1, 10, 50k hits just latches to a particularly sadistic part of my brain and it’s all i can think about for weeks. and it makes me want to quit. either writing or living.

and that sounds dramatic because IT IS. and i’m fully aware having those thoughts and urges is irrational. i don’t want them. i miss feeling like i have a community on ao3 (i absolutely have one here and i love all of you in my little circle with my entire being.) i hate having to avoid reading about my favorite characters because it does that much damage to my mental health. i am afraid that it takes something that small for me to have these massive thoughts.

all of that to say is that bpd makes switches easier to flip. it makes bad choices easier to make.

the reason i’m still here. the reason i still write and i haven’t deleted everything i’ve ever done. the reason i haven’t done a number of other things that i won’t say because they aren’t really relevant. is because i have chosen not to. it is incredibly hard sometimes. but it is still a choice you have to consciously make. you have to consciously decide to hurt someone. you have to consciously decide to say things. you have to consciously decide to humiliate your best friend in front of countless other people.

regina did make those choices.

and for that she does deserve consequences. she deserves repercussions and she deserves flack. she does not deserve to get hit by a bus (except for it being the catalyst to help her realize she needs to change) or being force fed to reach her biggest insecurity and fear without her knowledge.

she made the earliest choice when she was either eleven or twelve years old, that we know of.

that is a child.

regina is a child who is clearly suffering in some way we don’t see. she absolutely should be held accountable for what she does and what she has done. but she also deserves to be allowed to apologize and try to make amends. she deserves to be allowed the opportunity for growth and to heal and to become a functional adult who is capable of meaningful relationships and success. she deserves to be allowed to try.

does she deserve immediate or any forgiveness? no. the people around her also deserve the ability to make the choices with her that they will. she has caused harm, people are allowed to process the harm she has put upon them however they will.

but she deserves the opportunity to make it a choice for them.

she deserves a chance at redemption.