#but the reviews for it today didn't mention anything so I went in not expecting anything | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

justmybookthots · 9 months

Text

The Stolen Heir

4.5/5 stars

I am shaking as I write this. Ms Holly Black, WHO ARE YOU AND ARE YOU REAL?!?!

In any case, I finally finished this book. After putting it off for months, I made myself start it yesterday—I told myself I must once I was done with Six of Crows—then finished it today. The first time I tried reading it months ago, my brain was caught in a reading slump, and I couldn't get into it. This time, I was immersed. About a third into the book, I couldn't stop turning the pages.

(How BEAUTIFUL is this edition, by the way? I want to get my grubby hands on it so bad)

I can't believe how much I enjoyed this book. I went in with not-high expectations because I felt nothing could best Cruel Prince, which was Holly Black's magnum opus in my opinion—and most of the reviews seemed to echo that they found this installment lukewarm—but now that I've read it, I disagree.

It was like the main gripes I had with Cruel Prince were addressed here. I always found Cardan a little too weak, a little too uninvolved in the storyline compared to Jude, but Oak wasn't like that at all. For one thing, he could fight. I was veritably agape when that was revealed. He was a beast with the sword, and unlike Cardan, he was actually bloodthirsty. He was basically Jude—excellent swordsman, excellent strategist, very manipulative—along with Cardan's strengths: charming, silver-tongued, wry.

I saw reviews complaining that Suren stood out, and Oak did not, and now I can't wrap my head around those reviews.

If anything, Oak hogged the spotlight for the first half of the story for me, a great deal because he was an excellent combatant against their foes. Suren, despite her sharp teeth, was of little use in combat, but that's not to say I disliked her. I do like her, though I have mild gripes with some of her choices and characterisation. For starters, I don't get why she took Oak hostage at the end. I don't like it; it felt irrational and too emotionally driven. The better revenge would just be to send him home to let him stew, and sit with what he'd done. (In her defense, she definitely was emotional. I just wished there was some logic to excuse what she was doing, like trying to seize control of her court using Oak. But I don't get how keeping him hostage would help her with anything other than causing unnecessary war)

She also embodies a major trope I dislike—the Chosen One vibe. One of my criticisms of the story is how glaringly obvious the 'plot twist' was; I saw it coming the moment they introduced the heart. The "unmaking" was such a glaring hint. And the moment the hag talked about making a body out of snow and sticks and animating it somehow? Come on.

But I didn't care. Almost everything else was lovely. Oak's cleverness really made me SCREAM, specifically when he stole the bridle and casually continued his conversation with Suren like he wasn't at all up to no good, as if he hadn't just caught her in the act. And how, without even chasing after her, he got her to walk back to him.

Perhaps a large part of my love for this book is Oak's characterisation. However, I did enjoy the quest storyline, which I know isn't for everyone—but I was having such a blast when they entered the Court of Moths and Suren had to solve those riddles to save the prisoners, followed by Oak's duel and all those machinations surrounding that. The plot only dragged a little when they entered the Stone Forest, which I didn't care for, but once they were inside the Citadel, I was ENGROSSED.

I did not expect the tongue-ripping, and I can't believe Holly Black had the balls to go through with it. I LOVED it.

Also Hyacinth's reappearance made me GAPE. I totally forgot about him, and it was so satisfying seeing that piece of the jigsaw puzzle come to place. (Sorry, my thoughts are all over the place right now.)

(Edit: I also want to mention that the flashbacks to their little moments in the past were so fun to read. And that's coming from someone who generally doesn't like flashbacks in books)

Anyway, I saw someone write that the leads are just another universe's Jude and Cardan. I find that yes, Suren does come off as scheming as Jude, but it's clear she isn't as clever because there's loopholes in her control over Lady Nore. And it's true Oak does have mannerisms very similar to Carden, to the point that I had a hard time reconciling him with the little boy in the original series. But his upbringing is so different—he let himself appear like a coddled, spoiled, weak prince, but he was so much stronger and tougher than that. I love Cardan to fucking pieces and he owns my heart, but Oak was what I always thought an enhanced version of Cardan could be. (Still not sure how I feel about the goat legs, though, lmao. Maybe minus points for that.)

Of course, all this remains to be seen. Oak's characterisation can go downhill in the next book, due to be out next year (how am I supposed to wait?), and I'm in equal parts dreading and looking forward to it. Before I conclude this entry, I do want to say it's interesting to see the leads' roles reversed: Cardan—who has powerful magic—and Jude—a consummate swordswoman—compared to Suren, who has the magic, and Oak, who's excellent with the sword.

I know a lot of people were complaining about the lack of Jude and Cardan in this book, but come on. Oak and Suren captivated me to no end. Still… I think we will almost definitely see Jude next book, when she comes to the Citadel, raging war for Oak.

If Holly Black hadn't cemented herself as one of my favourite authors of all time before I read Stolen Heir, she has now. This was everything I had hoped for, and more.

- 25 July 2023

#stolen heir #the stolen heir #bookish #holly black #the cruel prince #cruel prince #the folk of the air

6 notes · View notes

shions-stuff · 1 year

Text

Monster

Warnings: mentions of murders, smoking, language.

Consider this happening in the Hellsing OVA after episode 3.

I reviewed Hellsing and remembered this episode, which once touched my soul. I thought to write about Integra's feelings, because it was not so easy for her to give such an order.

▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲⚙▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲

Integra has always been famous for its almost angelic patience and restraint. Her sober and cold mind, which she cultivated in herself since childhood, has borne fruit. Her subordinates respected her and many of them considered her truly worthy of the Hellsing heritage. Integra is like an iceberg in the ocean. Many saw only a small and distant child, who is all alone. But looking at this woman from the right angle, each viewer is expected to have a whole block of ice that stretches hundreds of kilometers further, which seems to have no end and one never ceases to be surprised by such a person. But the only problem was... she was not devoid of feelings. Even the most restrained and cold-blooded people sometimes lose their nerves.

Since when did she start smoking those thin, smelly cigarettes? She automatically made a note in her mind to mention this to Walter. And the cool wind caresses her hair and touches her face, and she tries to breathe it all into her lungs, as if it could fit there.

But she can't smell anything but the smell of cheap cigarettes...damn it!

Thoughts return to the mission again. Integra is forced to constantly maintain control over her thoughts, but this momentary state of haziness in her brain was almost pleasant. She mentally scolds herself for not letting this go on any longer.

She remembered the words, which had sounded so confident at first. She remembered her commanding tone, which didn't tolerate objections, when she gave orders to complete the mission. So why then does it feels so empty... feels wrong and... dirty. Long-spoken, and therefore dead, words resurface in head. She's never had to regret her decisions before. What changed?

Integra's lungs fill with cigarette smoke. She holds him there for a few seconds, then exhales slowly. A gust of wind splashed in her face, causing to reflexively squint her eyes. Maybe she feels so bad because of what Alucard said. She still remembers what he said. The tone of his voice, in which there was not a drop of regret, not a drop of remorse...not a drop of pity.

She would be lying if she said she wasn't scared.

Alucard told the truth and she knows it! Hell she knows. He said she kills people with his hands and he's fucking right! Integra fought so fiercely against the ghouls and protected the people, and now she destroyed these soldiers in cold blood. Walter didn't say directly, but hinted that there could be no other way out. These people are there to kill or be killed. That's all. And no one can change that.*

The wind has become cooler, because it is getting closer to night. The last smoldering piece of cigarette reached the filter and went into the ashtray.

Her thoughts returned to Alucard again and again. She doesn't remember exactly when she stopped being afraid of him, but it was a long time ago. She always knew he was a monster. He said so, people said so, Walter said so. It is true. Why was she so surprised when he called...

"The temperature is colder today, isn't it, Integra-sama."

"As always like at times like this. You need to be outdoors more often, Walter."

"I made tea for you, Integra-sama. I tried something new, I think you'll like it."

Walter put his hand on his chest and made a slight bow, as he always did. At his feet was a table on wheels with a tray on which stood two cups of tea. At Integra's questioning look, he clarified:

"Thought you'd need company," he picked up a cup, "with your permission."

Integra looked into the dark expanse of the night, not knowing exactly what she was trying to see there. From the side where the edge of her balcony separates her from pitch darkness, he watched her.

His eyes narrowed and his mouth twisted into a predatory grin. The noise of his long coat, which is picked up by the wind, dilutes the noise of the trees around.

"It's beautiful night, isn't it, Master?"

The wind carried the sound of a low voice far beyond the invisible horizon, leaving behind the emptiness and cold of an endless night.

#hellsing #alucard #integra hellsing #walter dornez #anime

13 notes · View notes

mollybecameanengineer · 1 year

Note

✨🌻💝 for the fic writer ask :)

Thanks for the ask, @lilolilyr! Here is the orignal post.

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

I have two answers for this. (As you all probably noticed) I've recently become fixated on the X-Files, but before that it was Star Trek: Voyager, so most of my fic is for that show. But I'll give one from each, because it's hard for me to consolidate the two. I was in a very different mental space writing Voyager (circa 2015-2017) than I am today.

For The X-Files: Keys,Wallet, Phone. It's the first one I wrote for this fandom, and it's very different than anything I'd written before. One of the asks on here was 'which fic would you like to be a podfic?' and this one would be my answer as well. It has a lyrical quality that I really like and I think would be great read aloud.

For Voyager: My baby, The Lament of a Daughter. This is all B'Elanna backstory... the culminations of years and years of thinking about this character. This, and The Sea of Gatan are probably some of the best things I ever wrote.

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

What makes me give up? Two things: anxiety and lack of head space.

For the anxiety bit, this is why I stopped writing in 2017. Trying to improve and what not was just driving me insane. This is also why, despite the fact I want to, I'll likely not participate in exchanges. When the prompt is right, it's magic. But man, it can really get to me if I can't think of anything. So this time around I've been posting things unbetaed (which likely leads to way more typos, sorry) but this has really been a path back to joy for me. Just write and release.

On lack of head space: I have a job that could consume every moment of my life if I let it. I have an idea for an original novel, which I started writing, but I found my mind was always preoccupied with it, and I wasn't thinking about my research (and therefore not making progress.) So, I don't really know what to do about that. The problem is less one of time, and more about have to pick and choose what I think about. (Which might be a weird problem to have.) It seems to work better for me to write short things to get the idea out of my head, and then move on. I am looking forward to a stage in my life where this won’t be an issue anymore.

Moving on to what makes me keep going: it’s fun (if I'm not busy being my own worse enemy). I like getting my thoughts out of my head and I like the reaction others have to those thoughts. Most of my stories are about something that is going on in my life, so it’s cathartic (or amusing, depending on what it is) to put OTP of the week in those situations. Sometimes I wonder if I could write professionally, but I do that would remove the fun and the joy. I do like my job, but there are for sure times that are NOT joyful.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Well, I didn't expect people to like Qualifying Life Events this much! I wrote it in like an hour on Monday when the internet went out, so I couldn't do work. (Well, really, I should have been reviewing papers, which were saved on my computer, but see above comment on not concentrating on work so well these days.) In general, all the pieces I’ve quickly written and posted have been way more enjoyed than I expected. They tend to be silly little things (ex: The Case of the Nip Slip, The Joy of Cooking, and the above-mentioned Qualifying Life Events). I have other pieces that took way more effort, but they are just as enjoyed as the short silly ones. So, I think it’s been freeing to break the association of my effort to other people’s enjoyment (which is probably a capitalistic way of looking at things, anyway).

(Aside: for some reason, the tumblr editor isn’t spell checking, which is a huge issue for me. So I had to write this elsewhere and paste it in and Tumblr was being a dick… Why is this editor so bad?)

3 notes · View notes

belladoesmakeup · 1 year

Text

Hi guys,

Recently I have been seeing so many people on Tik Tok review products from Maybelline which is a drugstore brand I used to adore! I haven't bought anything from them for quite awhile but when I kept seeing the same 3 products being reviewed by everyone I decided this pale girl needed to see what the all hype was about. So today we chatting about my mini Maybelline haul.Luckily when I went to Boots they have 3 for 2 on all Maybelline products so I actually got the conceal free which was even better.

I'm going to chat to you about each product in the order I used them so let's start with the Maybelline Instant Anti Age Perfector 4-In-1 Glow , £12.99. Now this product is a multi purpose product so not only does it add glow but it is also a primer, concealer and a highlighter. I picked up the shade 0.5 which is Fair Light Cool, basically the palest shade for me. Like their famous concealer it also has a cushion applicator you have twist and apply. When I used this I rubbed it in with my fingers because I wanted my skin hydrated before putting a powder foundation on. Straight away you could see my skin had a healthy sheen to it but it didn't make my skin look too glowy and oily which I thought would happen. First impressions I really like it but I'll keep testing it with other products too.

Next up we have the Maybelline SuperStay Active Wear Concealer , £9.99 (my freebie in the 3 for 2). Like the matching liquid foundation this concealer is designed to be full coverage and last up to 30 hrs. This matte concealer was not what I expected (in a good way) because the formula is so lightweight it doesn't feel like anything on your face. I got 05 Ivory to use this concealer as more of a highlight / brightener for my under eyes. I love the finish, the packaging and how well it's been lasting on my eyes, I need to pick up shade 10 for my blemishes next.

Lastly and arguably the most viral makeup product at the moment we have the Maybelline SuperStay 24H Hybrid Powder Foundation , £11.99 shade 03. I saw this product everywhere and knew I had to try it out myself. I got the palest shade to play it safe but I probably could of got shade 05 too if they had it. This powder foundation is unlike anything I have tried before, it is designed to be a medium - full coverage, long wear, soft matte foundation. Now what I find most unique about this powder foundation is that it has super resistant hybrid technology, so unlike other powder foundations it doesn't cake or transfer. The first time I used the powder I was so surprised at the coverage! With one swipe of product almost half my face was covered which I didn't expect especially from a drugstore powder foundation. Loving it so far and will be testing out more in the next few weeks, I also want to get 1 shade darker to see the difference.

If you want to check out the products I mentioned, they are all linked above!

Lots of love

Bella x x

3 notes · View notes

buriedsecretspodcast · 1 year

Text

DIY REM pod initial build (Learning Things: March 27, 2023)

On Friday, I wrote about how I wasn't quite ready to attempt the DIY rem pod build, but then I ended up doing it anyway. More on that below!

Like I mentioned last week, I want to use Mondays to talk about things I've been learning, researching, and making. I might also include links to articles and other things that I've been consuming over the last week, though sometimes, like today, I'm mostly going to leave that out. The post was getting a little bit long with everything included. (I have an inkling that I might start doing a weekly roundup type post. We'll see.)

As a reminder, the biggest buckets of skills I'm learning, research I'm doing, and personal projects I'm working on are (in no particular order):

paranormal research for my podcast

building up skills (soldering, building electrical circuits, basic coding) to make DIY projects, including some ghosthunting gadgets I want to make

incorporating my art into paranormal investigation

getting a novel into publication- or submission-ready shape.

I don't expect to necessarily make progress on all of these things every week, but I do like the idea of having a check-in. Process is important. In creative work, people see is the final product, and not all the many stumbles and invisible work that it takes to get there. I always love seeing things about people's projects and progress!

So here's what I've got into this week:

Paranormal research

After taking a bit over a month off, I'll be dropping a new episode of the podcast this week. I hate to have taken so much time off, but things have just been incredibly hectic lately. (Though some of that was due to a cool, currently secret upcoming project!)

Anyway, for the next episode, I got to do some fun research about airships, which you'll see crop up in both the episode this week and a blog post.

DIY REM pod project

Last week, after writing so extensively about how I wasn't quite ready to undertake the DIY REM pod build, I ended up being too excited about it and going for it anyway. I'm happy to report that it was easier than I thought it was going to be. There didn't seem to be any faulty components in the kit that I got. It worked despite my shoddy soldering skills.

I'll do a better writeup of this project once I've actually finished it off with a new antenna and housing. But here's a quick rundown of how it went.

It took me about an hour and a half to do the assembly and soldering. I still want to upgrade the antenna and put the device into some sort of housing. But for this initial attempt, I just did the build exactly according to the instructions, so right now, I've got a little circuit board with a wobbly antenna and a row of LEDs (as shown in today's drawing).

I found the directions simple to follow. It was a single page of drawings showing where in the circuit board each component went. It also included some helpful reminders about which components are polarized. Honestly, minimal instructions are ideal for me—my eyes glaze over anything too complex—so I was pretty pleased.

The tricky part for me was just the soldering, because I'm not great at it. I especially struggled with soldering the chip sockets, because the prongs were close together and I kept accidentally bridging the solder. (Also, my left hand is very shaky, which kept throwing me off. I have a ways to go to improve my soldering technique.)

I had to reheat and fix the bridging a few times, which ended up adding some time to the build. But still, for my second attempt at soldering, I'm happy with the amount of time it took me.

Some of the reviewers said that the circuit board was really sensitive to heat and that it was easy to burn the circuit board. That might be the case, but I guess I managed to avoid it. I cranked up my soldering iron to about 560 degrees Fahrenheit and it seemed to be fine. I'm not sure what the ideal temperature would be for this project, or what temperature might be too much for the board. (On the package, my solder says it melts at 430 F, but at that temperature, it just wasn't melting right—probably because it's unleaded. I don't feel comfortable using leaded solder, but I do know that means that it's a little more frustrating to work with.)

In terms of operation, so far I'm noticing that the REM pod is a little finicky. Aside from the antenna issue that I mentioned, in general, a lot of the time when I initially plug it in, it goes haywire. Then it either settles down and acts normally, or it keeps going off. In the latter case, I just unplug the battery, plug it back in again, and then it seems like it works fine.

It was also immediately obvious that the antenna needs to be replaced. The existing antenna is extremely wobbly and flimsy, and it seemed to be setting itself off at first. But once I straightened it out, it worked okay. (But not great.)

I posted a video of me testing it out on instagram, if you want to see it in action.

All in all, I'm very happy with this as an initial foray!

Art and paranormal investigation

I haven't done a ton of automatic drawing, but in my most successful foray to date, I put an electronic track on repeat, blindfolded myself, and then drew. The results were pretty interesting, so that's something I want to continue to play around with.

Last Friday, I stumbled across an album that might serve as an interesting soundtrack to automatic drawing: Satie - Fragments, a compilation of electronic remixes of Eric Satie's work.

Satie was a composer and pianist who lived in the late 19th and early 20th century. I hadn't been familiar with his work, but when I listened to the album, I recognized some of his stuff immediately. (I'm not knowledgeable when it comes to classical music, but one of my favorite YouTubers used Satie's Gnossienne No. 1 as background music to a video a few years ago. And I am a very attentive viewer of YouTube.)

Interestingly, Satie seems to have had some occult connections. For a time, he even did some composing for a the Rosicrucian group he belonged to. I haven't done a ton of research about him, but I really want to dive deeper into his work and his life. Seems like he was a weird dude.

At any rate, I found these electronic remixes of his work completely enchanting and haunting. They seem perfect for setting a trancelike mood for an automatic drawing session. So that's something I'm putting a pin in for later.

Novel writing

Back in December, I wrote the first draft of a queer solarpunk fantasy romance novel very loosely inspired on the story of beauty and the beast. I started editing it in January, but then I had to pause when things got hectic. I finally had a chance to get back into the editing process this week.

I'd done an initial edit of the first 80% or so of the book, and this week I edited maybe another 5-10% of it. The finale needs an enormous amount of work and basically just has to be rewritten, so it's been slow going. This is very obviously going to be the second of many drafts (as it should be).

I'm a speedy writer (it took me about 34 hours to write the ~50,000-word first draft). But I'm a slower editor, in particular because I write fairly rough rough drafts. Also, in the case of this book, I made some pretty major changes to the main antagonist very late in the process of drafting it, and I still haven't quite worked out all of that character's new motivations and backstory, so I definitely have my work cut out for me there.

This week it was really nice to get back into the flow of editing it. As often happens when I walk away from a project and then return to it, I like it more now than I did when I left it. It's easy to get frustrated looking at your own work, and it's easier to see the good and bad after a little bit of time away from it.

#cryptidcore #cryptidacademia #ghost hunting #ghosts #paranormalinvestigator #paranormal podcast #writing #writeblr #writerscommunity

0 notes

booasaur · 2 years

Photo

Pivoting (2022) - 1x01

#pivotingedit #pivoting #pivoting sarah #(did we get a last name?)#maggie q #pivoting spoilers #pivoting 1x01 #femslash related stuff #OKAY SO #when I saw the announcement for this a while back I was like of course I'm going to watch #even if no lead was established as wlw because just look at the cast #and it could it still be a side character or even one of the mains realizing later on #but the reviews for it today didn't mention anything so I went in not expecting anything #though when she came in wearing this outfit I immediately screencapped and sent to a friend and was like this is so gay #and kept my friend updated on all their relationship statuses (one good m/f marriage one bad m/f marriage and so on)#AND THEN SHE WAS ESTABLISHED AS HAVING A FEMALE EX #MAGGIE Q AS A WLW #YESSSSS

198 notes · View notes

lovee-infected · 3 years

Text

Husband!Leona x Housewife!Reader: Birthday surprise

As you have your birthday today, Leona has a plan to prepare a party for his one and only beloved wife; however, uncle Ruggie and your babies almost burn the house down to ashes when you're out...

Happy birthday @jessamine-rose !♡ Now suffer-

Warning(s): None, just a review on Leona's chaotic father experiment trying to babysit his neko babies.

Note: This work is the continuation of a personal au I wrote for @jessamine-rose s/o and Leona have 3 adorable kittens (babies) in this au; The elder two are twins , a girl named Kaede and a son named Haruki while the baby gremlin is a sweet but chaotic cinnamon roll girl named Lucy (Lulu).

At last, it's here: The big day. Not only Leona seems have been expecting this day to arrive for months, or perhaps, he's been waiting ever since you had your previous birthday last year.

Not that you thought previous birthday celebrations with them lacked anything specific or was incomplete in a recognizable way; but it didn't change the fact that you didn't seem to have enjoyed them either.

Leona is the prince of the afterglow Savannah, after all. As her wife your birthday was nothing less than a national holdiday and he always tented to prepare royal celebrations ever since you married him.

But for some reason, that formal and majestic aura seemed to bother you in a way; perhaps because you preferred to be actually spending time with Leona and your family instead of having to stay in the same spot for hours with your back straightened as you greet thousands of strangers and the rest of the royal family.

Not that you ever spoke of how uncomfortabe and annoying all of those birthday ceremonies were, but you almost let out a relived sigh when Leona tells he isn't going to put out another of those extravagant celebrations.

The night before your birthday, Leona comes to you and mentions hoe it's been a while since the last time you had some time for your own, and he's right: From the day you gave birth to lulu you've been awfully busy with housework and caressing your babies; not that your life could be any sweeter than it is now but you had to admit- You somehow missed the old days when you had more time to spend on your own...

Leona recommends you take a day off, as a birthday treat! You're free to go shopping, take a short vacation to the beach or simply go to your favorite cafe and enjoy your favorite drinks and beverages in peace, meanwhile Leona would take care of the house and kittens so you can have today for your own and all~

Of course you accept his offer, you give him a small kiss on cheek and thank him, the two of you head to your bedroom and you are given the opportunity to sleep on Leona's warm chest for the rest of the night.

Thus you leave the house the next morning after, and now it's time for Leona's secret plan. He's already prepared anything, your favorite flowers, your favorite desserts and food, a very expensive perfume you had liked before, color-matching costumes for both him and the kittens, tiny cute accessories to decorate the house with and at last, tens of gifts from different things he sure knows that you'll love.

Ruggie is charge of cooking, so he gets to preparing muffins and cupcakes while Leona takes care of decorations: Designing the entire house with flower petals, baloons and colorful ribbons would've taken him hours if he were to do that by hand, but using his extraordinary magic skills, the whole house is perfectly decorated and prepared in a second *Chef's kiss.*

Just as Leona is about to let out a proud smirk and return to kitchen to see how Ruggie is doing with he cooking, he hears a sound. He turns his head to find no one but baby Lulu, chewing the decorations.

He runs to her and takes the ribbons out of her mouth, opening her mouth a second time and carefully look through it to see if she's eaten any of them or not. Oh God, he promised that he'd take care of everything when you're out, he just can't let you return home and find out that your baby has swallowed paper, what will you even think of him? Irresponsible partner? Unworthy father? No, he must make sure that baby lulu would be all same and sound until you return home.

He hugs Lulu and puts her on a corner with several baloons to play with, far from anything dangerous she could chew but then baby Lulu discovers a new hobby: popping balloons.

Her tiny fangs have just popped out and her gums often hurt, so she just wants to get her fangies on anything she could chew or bite and wow, this baby is not only totally unaffected by the loud sound of balloons popping right into her face but also finds it quite amusing. Baby begins to laugh loudly and chase after more balloons to chew as she has discovered a new hobby, and before Leona could've stopped her, she pops 5 more balloons with just one bite-

Leona picks her up immediately because if Lulu continued to chew balloons like this nothing of them would be left until you get home-

- But all of a sudden, he smells something rotten, followed by a trail of smoke coming from kitchen. He immediately puts Lulu down and runs back to the kitchen to see what in the great seven's name is happening there-

Leona jumps into the kitchen- just to find Kaede and Haruki screaming and crying as Ruggie's trying to take the black-rotten cupcakes out of the oven. Leona asks what the hell has happened and Ruggie explains he was too busy separating the twins because they couldn't stop arguing whether their mama would like caramel syrup as the topping or sprinkles, so Ruggie totally forgets about the overcooked muffins and cupcakes in the middle of their arguments.

Leona tells him to pull himself and start over- But Ruggie aruges that he won't be able to concentrate on both babysitting and cooking if that's how it's going to be. Leona growls and tell Ruggie to stop being such a wacky hyena and just get back to work without messing up again- And Ruggie explodes.

He starts shouting, Ruggie legit starts shouting in a rare, angry tune which terrified everyone even Leona. He roars that he won't be doing shit until Leona actually pays him for once, and the two start arguing. Just as the chaos is burning the kitchen down, Lulu decides uncle Ruggie's leg looks quite delicious to bite, and in a matter of second Ruggie is screaming as the baby lion's fangs literally pierced into his flesh.

The whole house is filled with smoke, Lulu has taken the entire decorations down and Leona's trying to seprate baby Lulu's fangs from Ruggie's leg. Twins are terrified, so the silently sneak out of the kitchen to call the right person to come for help...

It's past 10 pm when you're done with your day off. You've been giggling over how a day off was just what you needed after a long time, you had told Leona to call if anything went wrong, and thankfully, you didn't receive any calls from him while you were out. Leona really seems to have toughed it out as a father, huh?

You knock at the door, waiting for someone to open it. After a 3 minute delay you take a small look through the house and realize the lights are off. You just get in using your keys and suddenly, a loud "SURPRISE!" makes you jump back and the lights are back on, revealing Farena, Cheka, your kittens and very, very very tired-looking Leona and Ruggie standing in front of you. Leona gives you a weak smile as your confused gaze meets him, at last, they managed to clean the mess up before you got home.

Twins welcome you with a warm hug as they lock their tiny arms around your waist, digging their faces into soft fabrics of your clothes as if they hadn't met you in days, and of course, 12 hours of chaos without mama at home is enough to make them want to never be left alone in the house with uncle Ruggie and dad again-

Ruggie is trying his best not to be rude but he quickly approaches you, wishes you a very happy birthday and excuses himself saying he really needs to be home by this hour. You question the bandages wrapped around his leg, asking if he's alright? Ruggie just- Gulps nervously before turning his head back and stare at Leona who is holding Lulu... Ruggie nods quickly and leaves your house asap, poor boy... maybe you should call him sometime later and asking if he's doing fine?

Back to the party, Farena chuckles as he tells you how his younger brother has been DESPERATELY making plans for his beloved wife's birthday for nearly two months-! Farena explains that Leona even refused to accept Farena's help when he was firstly coming up with the plans, but Leona insisted that he wanted to manage everything on his own.

Aaaaaw Leona's face is a must-see now, his ears dropped down in mild embarrassment and frustration, feeling like a silly child in front of you. Damn- If it was on him he wouldn't have asked for Farena's help once in a thousand years even if if Ruggie and him had ended up burning the entire house; but he must admit, he's glad that twins asked for his help because- It would've been impossible to manange to do all the work on time without his help.

Aaah at least your birthday party didn't turn out to be a horrible mess, but at what cost? Great seven, he was supposed to be your one and only man tonight but right now he's nothing but a fuzzy cat wanting to pass put on his bed.

Yet he still manages to keep his eyes open, at least until you're done with the birthday party and Farena and Cheka are finally out; leaving him alone with you. Gosh, he looks so- you can't even find tje right adjective to describe this but all you can say for now is that you've never seen him this tired before.

You gently take Lulu, who has already fallen asleep in his arms and take her to her bed, asking Leona if babysitting her was difficult by any means. Leona tiredly shakes his head in a no, saying how much of a wonderful girl she was when you were away, and you can tell how much of an awful liar he is.

When the kids are asleep, you come to sit next to a lifeless Leona on couch, damn, just what happened to this household when you weren't around?

Leona's too tired to explain, he just sighs and apologizes for your birthday not being even *close to the best it could be, just to meet your laughter.

Oh lord, he is being quite desperate at the moment ha? Leona was always the dominative and demanding one, to have him serve ypu on your birthday... Oh dear, isn't that already the best birthday gift possible?

You excitedly start to tell him how this birthday was just the best you could've ever asked for: Freedom, A golden time to be spent for your own desires and not anyone else, and aside all of these, you return home just to face a secret party waiting for you!

But most importantly: He had gone through all of these... for you, to make you happy.

You tightly hug him, wrapping your arms around his neck and bringing his face closer to yours. Aaaa he looks so cute like this, just like a tired pouty can wanting you to spoil him and to be honest, he's going to need you spoil him for a week at least for him to recovers from that 12 hours of chaos.

It's been a long day, for both you and him. So he just kisses your forehead and bridal carries you to your bedroom afterwards; wrapping his strong arms and thighs around you and jailing you in his embrace. You gasp at the warmth, truth be told having your face burried in Leona's firm chest like this was something you never got used to even after being married to him for years. Damn lion knew how to leave a flushed mess out of you, huh? You chuckle as you struggle to release yourself but hell, the jerk simply pretends that he's already fallen asleep.

Just as Leona's arms are jailing you into his embrace he wonders, today probably didn't turn out to be as good as he'd planmed but well... at least you're happy. That's what he wanted when he whet out of his way planning for today, after all. But he can tell the experiment made him come to appreciate you even more, thinking that you've been caressing all three of your babies for years all on your own while Leona wouldn't have even made it for half a day if Farena hadn't saved him...

#twisted wonderland #twst #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #ruggie bucchi #f/reader #headcanon #Meh I was too lazy to proofread www- Will edit this later

333 notes · View notes

bullyhunter--69 · 3 years

Text

"She's so sweet, really."

Pairing: Izuku x fem!reader

Summary: When you and Izuku started dating, you were as happy as could be. He was beyond sweet and caring, and helped you forget about the bad in your life. But after he introduces you to his mother, Inko, and you start to be a more frequent visitor at the Midoriya household, you realize it's starting to take a bigger affect on you than you thought it would. Why can't your mother be like that?

Tw: mentions of family issues/absent family/family death, bottling up emotions and eventually breaking, a stressed Izuku, ends with soft fluff

A/N: This turned out so much longer and more angsty than planned but I'm really proud of it, tell me what you guys think! 🖤 (This is also my first ever angst written so--)

-----------------------------------------------------------

Today was a beautiful fall day. Colorful leaves fell around you, the sky was tinged with a deep orange, and the soft grass beneath you made your time all the more comfy. You were snuggled next to Izuku beneath a huge tree on campus, who was currently going on and on about his latest quirk findings. The goal you guys originally had set was to review for the upcoming test, but the topic quickly shifted to Izukus day once your fingers intertwined with his and you inquired about it.

"-and so then once I asked Mr. Aizawa about it I found that- Hey.. are you okay (Y/N)?" You really were listening, but had found that you zoned out. Izukus concerned, soft voice brought you back to reality, and a small smile crawled it's way onto your features. "Yeah 'zuku, I'm all good.. I just was thinking about some stuff and was focusing on your voice. It always helps." You ended your reply with a squeeze of his hand, which all together resulted in his face blooming into a shade of deep red.

"Well, uh.. T-thank you, I'm happy to help!" He stuttered out as he felt butterflies all throughout his body. "Oh, also!" Izuku started, turning his body to face you more, holding your hands in his lap with a nervous look in his eyes. "(Y/N), I was wondering.. we've been together for a bit now and I.. I want my mom to meet you."

As soon as the word 'mom' reached your ears, you tensed up. It was always a sensitive topic, even if it wasn't your parental relationships in question. You knew Izuku had noticed, as the hold on your hands got tighter. "I understand if you're scared or nervous but I know She's gonna love you! She already says you're really pretty and smart just basing off what I've shown her.. she really is looking forward to it, and we don't have to stay long if you don't want to." The gentle rub of his thumb on the back of your hand and the puppy dog eyes was enough to soothe your nerves. If Izuku talked so highly of you to her, and if she was anything like him at all, you figured it wouldn't be that bad to meet her. She would be your mother-in-law someday, so you might as well get it out of the way now and not later.

When the day finally came, you were beyond nervous. The thought of meeting Izuku's mother and her not liking you made a wave of sickness and dread fill every inch of your body. Whether it was a friend, or a boyfriend, meeting mothers always gave you a bad taste in your mouth. It brought back all the feelings that you tried desperately to hide away and fight daily.

See, you were almost fully open with Izuku, but there was one thing he didn't know. Your family, to put it bluntly, was shit. Your mother always belittled you for every single little action you ever made and everything about you. Nothing was ever good enough. As a small child, it was always under-the-table, backhanded compliments with passive aggressive undertones, but after the passing of your father, it turned into raw, brutal words. She was never proud, and never actually loved you, she just used your desire to be a good daughter against you. It was cold, hard, manipulative behavior which resulted in you finally refusing to talk to her after you got accepted into U.A. The mental gymnastics you had to go through to hide all of this, especially from Izuku, was taking a toll on you. You never talked of family and never left the dorms, and had an.. unusual amount of luggage stored away in your room. It seemed like you packed your entire life up in a suitcase and ran.

Which is essentially what you did.

As bad as it sounds, you never planned on telling your love any of this. You just needed to forget all of the childhood trauma you were put through and focus on showing your mother she was wrong. Everything she said about your quirk being useless, to you being intolerable and a bad daughter, would be proved wrong. But, the biggest thing you planned to show her? Is that your father would be proud. She always used him against you, and you'd be damned if you wouldn't prove that point the most ridiculous of them all.

A soft knocking on your dorm brought you out of your deep thoughts, and your gaze slid to the door. Your hands shot to your face and you quickly dried your tears. "O-one second, I'm still changing!" You knew in the pit of your gut that it was Izuku coming to pick you up, and your thoughts were confirmed when you heard him on the other side of your locked door. "Alrighty baby, take your time!" God, he sounded so sweet.. this was hell keeping from him, but it kept him from worrying.

The night went on so much better than expected, and it genuinely surprised you. You had never met a woman as sweet as Inko was. She cooked your favorite food and had your favorite drinks, and even baked you your favorite dessert. She asked about how you were doing in school and once the topic of your quirk was brought up, she was beyond ecstatic to hear you talk about it. She even added on how she felt it would be useful in battle. The night was amazing. Nothing felt real, it all was like the fantasies you made up while lying in bed at 4am sobbing, so sleep deprived you almost can't move to get ready for your class that starts in just a few hours. It's what you've always wanted in a mom-- a beautiful, sweet woman who cares.

Why can't your mother be like that?

As the weeks went on and Izuku kept inviting you over for weekly dinner and game nights with him and Inko, you found it harder and harder to conceal exactly how much your mental health was struggling. Yes, you absolutely adored both your loving boyfriend and his equally loving mother, but it was just so fucking.. hard. Every smile she gave you, the loving, motherly twinkle in her eyes when she talked to Izuku, the amazing dinners, the endless support for both of you, the pictures she insisted on taking of you and Izuku-- it was all too much. You started to dwell on this every single night, and resent yourself for how much anger and jealousy you felt. This wasn't right, but you couldn't help it. It wasn't your fault that your mother hated you for every fiber of your being and Izuku had the best mother imaginable. He was your boyfriend, you should be happy.. right?

You didn't realize how hard you had been sobbing until there was a hushed yet firm knock on your dorm door. The tears that blurred your vision made it even harder to read the clock on your nightstand through the pitch black room you sat in, huddle up in a pile of blankets, All Might plushies and Izuku's hoodies.

9:54 p.m.

The pain that was radiating through your torso from the wreck you had become from however long you had actually been crying was torture. It felt like needles were being shoved into your lungs and your heart was being squeezed in a vice grip. Breathing felt impossible. Your throat was raw. But the thing that hurt the absolute worst, out of everything?

"(Y/N)? Baby, please let me in.." Little Izuku's voice sounded like the biggest bomb going off, the jiggle of your door knob making emergency alarms go off in your head. There wasn't any possible way to get out of this, and this might just be your biggest fear. Facing those soft emerald eyes and that sweet smile that has been open and honest with you over the entirety of your entire relationship, and even before. Telling the love of your life all the trauma you've endured, and then willingly decided to hide from him. No.. it's the disappointment that you're positive will shine through his features that's truly your biggest fear.

You don't know how long he had been listening, but one second was more than enough for you to know Izuku wasn't going to leave. He loved you endlessly and never left without making sure you had a smile on your face. So, with limbs that felt like cement, eyes that felt as if you were crying spikes, and an aching heart, you got up and made your way to unlock the door. It took a minute-- your hold on the cold knob firm and extremely hesitant.

3... 2.. 1.

Finally, Izuku had enough room to gently push your door open, and his breath was taken away when he saw you as the golden light from the dormitory hallway illuminated your entirely wrecked appearance.

Bloodshot eyes, make up filled tears streaming down both checks, snot dripping down to you mouth. The cuffs of his hoodie that covered your shaking body were soaked in black, wet mascara. Your hair was messy and tangled. You were.. broken.

After taking in every little detail of your appearance, a struggled gasp last your body when his arms were suddenly around you. The touch of his warmth around you was electrifying, and instantly brought you to your knees. As Izuku shut and locked the door behind him, still holding you in his strong arms, he sighed softly. "What's wrong?"

These are some of the only words that you really didn't want to come out of his mouth. They stung and tore through your heart like the sharpest of blades. They made you regret not opening up sooner, his tone overflowing with worry, fear, and dread. You knew not to make eye contact, but you couldn't even if you wanted to. Once those words entered your ears, soft and delicate as if you would shatter into a million pieces if he spoke too hard, another strangled sob was unleashed out of what felt to be your core.

"S-she's just so sweet.." Your voice, although strained and crackling, came out with an emotion Izuku had never heard from you before. A mixture of jealousy, rage, disappointment, and disgust is all he could pick out, but it sounded like something was hidden beneath it all. Something that you didn't know how to express, so emotions just came seeping out of you in the easiest way.

Picking you up was an easy task, as your body had long ago given up the fight to stay standing. The sweet boy made his way to your bed and sat with you cradled to his chest, your nose tucking away in the crook of his neck instantly to breath in his scent. It calmed you-- he calmed you, but you couldn't help but to shamefully pull your head away and look across the room.

"(Y/N), you have to tell me more. Who is 'she'? I want to help you.." His voice still held a delicate tone, his fingers combing through your hair with one hand and the other still holding you tightly. After what seemed like forever of Izuku just holding you and letting you cry every single ounce of emotion you held in your body out, your sobs slowly came to a stop and you took a soft, shaking sigh.

It was time to come clean.

"'Z-zuku, I'm sorry.." You started, slowly and steadily while trying to steady your breath further. The gentle back rubs from his warm hands helped sooth you, and gave you the strength to continue.

"I haven't been exactly.. truthful with you." As you took a second to find your words and sniffle, you could sense Izuku tilt his head to the side curiously. "You always ask if I'm okay-- if I'm happy-- and I always say that I am. I love you so incredibly much and you do make me feel happy and safe and welcomed and-" Your ramble was cut off with a kiss to your temple, which was a silent signal of Izukus trust and time.

"Because of how incredibly happy you make me, I dont want you thinking that this is your fault at all. Its mine.. I shut you out and bottled myself up when I should have just told you in the first place. I just.. don't know how to say it other than to say it outright."

Your shakey tone made Izukus heart race even more. He was staying calm and supportive on the outside but on the inside, he was a wreck. He was currently going over every single one of his actions, words, and notes that made what you and him were-- absolutely scraping the bottom of the barrel for anything and everything he could have done wrong. That stuff, though, was shoved deep so he could help you, because that was what was important right now.

"I don't.. Izuku, I love you and I love your mother so incredibly much. I feel at home with you guys but it's just so hard. Seeing how sweet and caring she is, how She's invested in both of our lives, how she.. s-she said she loved me.." You body was quickly starting to shake again, so Izuku pulled you in closer. "Why can't my mother be like that?"

There it was. It finally clicked in Izuku's mind. Everytime you avoided the topic of family, how you never had pictures with them, how you never had a place to go to during break, how every day after spending time with him and Inko you seemed drained the next morning as if you had stayed up all night.. it clicked as to what might be wrong, and his suspicions were confirmed when you continued.

"M-my mother hates me and she has my entire life. I have never received an ounce of love or respect from that filthy woman and it's always on my mind. Her degradation and her mocking laugh and her hideous presence. She used my dead fucking dad against me to make me feel like I'd never make it in this world and I just-- I-I want to escape the horrible memories but I can't. I just want a mother like yours.. it's what I've always wanted and I don't understand why I had to be the one stuck with a dead dad and a mockery of a mother. Seeing how absolutely amazing your mom is fills me with love and happiness and a sense of home I've never gotten before but at the end of the day, it just reminds me of how shitty my life was up until I got to U.A. I don't have a mom. I don't have a home. And its not fair that I'm upset over the fact that you having those things happens to remind me of that. I'm sorry."

Izuku was speechless. His comforting ministrations had stopped and he just looked at you. Even with the pitch black void that was your room, his emerald eyes shined bright.. and brimmed with tears.

"I.. I had no idea, baby, I'm so sorry.." Izuku was choosing his words incredibly carefully. He held nothing against you, nor was he upset or disappointed at you. He was a person that could put himself in someone else's shoes very easily and see through their eyes, and your emotional monologue was enough to paint your story for him. He just wanted to comfort you and show you everything was okay.

"I don't want you to be sorry, there isn't any need for you to be. You can't help what your mother put you through, and how horribly unfair to you that it was. Nobody can control how others actions affect them-- it's just how humans are.." Strong arms turned your body to face him, your limbs wrapped around his torso and your cheeks gently held in his hands. As tears streamed down his cheeks, he stared deep into your eyes. "You're so strong and beautiful, and I understand as much as I can. I love you so much.. Baby, to hell with her. I know it's hard, but she doesn't have to mean anything to you anymore. Me and you, and mom, can be our own family. We're your home now.."

A sob managed to choke it's way out of your throat, but this one was different. Your head fell into Izukus neck and you held him as tight as you possibly could, soaking his chest with more snot and tears. His arms held you back just as tightly as he peppered soft butterfly kisses along your hairline. This is how you stayed for the rest of the night until you calmed down and passed out on his firm build. Laying back softly, Izuku tucked you both in and kept his tight hold on you.

"Goodnight, love.. You're home."

#bnha scenarios #bnha smut #bnha x reader #bnha fluff #bnha angst #izuku midoriya #izuku x reader #bnha izuku #izuku #izuku smut #my hero headcanons #my hero academia #my hero imagines

355 notes · View notes

geniusgub · 3 years

Text

north//chapter twenty

genre: fluff, angst

warnings: mentions of canonical violence and deaths, lmk if I missed anything

word count: 4k

summary: Spencer is getting reacquainted with life outside of prison, and he gets a not-so-great phone call.

pairing: season twelve spencer reid x oc

please remember to comment, like, and reblog!!

AMELIA

Spencer and I managed to sleep through the entire day and the majority of the night. After all, the previous day was probably one of the most eventful of my entire life and it left me absolutely exhausted. I can't quite speak for Spencer because I'm sure he's had much longer days than yesterday, especially when he has been away for cases, but it was still stressful and way too long for both of us.

I wake up before Spencer as the sun starts to rise the next day, the sunlight pouring in through the opened window on the other side of the room. Before I even consider getting out of bed or looking at my phone, I look to my side to check on Spencer. He's sleeping soundly, his cheek pressed against his pillow and his hand on my side of the bed, no longer wrapped around mine. He looks absolutely angelic at this moment, his mouth hanging open and his body completely relaxed.

I promised Spencer that I'd be here for him and that I wouldn't leave the bed without him. I've never broken a promise to him before and I don't plan on starting now. So, moving as little as possible so I don't disturb him, I sit up against the headboard, reaching into my bedside table for my journal. I pop open the top and start furiously scribbling down everything I can remember from the last two or so days and how I feel about it, how excited I am to have Spencer home again, and how terrified I am to have Spencer home again.

I barely even notice it when Spencer starts squirming beside me, and my attention is only taken away from my journal when his hand grabs onto my thigh. I smile down at his suddenly tiny figure, finding that he's already looking up at me with a tired gaze.

"Good morning, love," I chirp, tossing my journal onto the floor and sinking back under the duvet in an attempt to absorb some of his radiating body heat. Since he already touched me and he's seemingly feeling okay in the morning sun, I let my hand stray and trail through his flat curls. "Did you sleep well? You didn't wake me up."

Spencer sucks his lips between his teeth, shrugging softly. "I woke up a few times. I just--" he wiggles his hips as he tries to come up with an excuse, "I didn't need to wake you up. I didn't need to bother you. Having you here was enough."

I bring my hand to the back of Spencer's neck, huffing with some slight annoyance, "You're not a bother. You never have and you never will be," Spencer just shrugs dismissively in response, and reaches his hands up to rub his eyes. Spencer has never been good at these kinds of conversations and I imagine he's far too tired to entertain a lecture about how important he is. So I make a mental note to bring this topic back up as I sit up and stretch. "Alright, well, do you want some breakfast? I can make us something to eat."

"Yeah, sure," he nods, ducking away from my grasp and quickly sliding out of bed, putting on a pair of shoes I hadn't realized he set up on his side of the bed.

I reach for a pair of sweatpants but when I look up to find Spencer frozen in his spot, staring at the bed, I drop the pants and sit up on my knees. The sheets are rustled and the duvet is in a heap under me, and he's very fixated on this. His arms are glued to his side but his fingers are twitching like he's dying to use them.

"Spence? Everything okay?" I ask gently, and like the other instances where he gets lost in a daydream, he doesn't react to me. "Spencer?" I call again in hopes of getting some sort of response. But his fingers just twitch and he takes a long, frustrated breath. "Talk to me," I don't know if pressing the issue will help, but if I don't at least try to get him to talk, then I'll never figure out what his issue is. "I just wanna help you, but I can't do that if you don't talk to me."

Spencer quickly covers his face with his hands, his breathing becoming labored and heavy, chest heaving. "The bed. It's the bed. It's-- I need-- it's the bed."

It looks like a bed to me. It's a messy bed, sure, but it's just a bed to me. I pause for a second to try to get my brain to match Spencer's. I try to see what he is seeing, but all I see is a bed that we just used for its intended purpose. It just needs to be made, that's all. I can't see into Spencer's brain so I have to resort to asking. "What about the bed?"

"I--" he drops his hands, balling them up into fists again, "The bed is supposed to be made. I need to make the bed. It needs to be made or else they're gonna come and I'll get in trouble. It-- the-- the bed needs to be made."

Oh, this poor baby. My heart aches for him. Not all of him made it out of that prison cell. Part of him is still there. He's not here with me. He didn't really come home.

"Spencer, you're not gonna get in trouble here. It's just me. It's just Lia," My voice shakes as I try to speak, my hands pressed to my cheeks to continuously wipe the tears that start to fall. "I'm never gonna yell at you or hurt you or get mad because you didn't make your bed. Dove, you can make the bed if you want to, but you don't have to. It's okay. I'm not gonna be mad. You won't get in trouble. It's just me."

Spencer stares at me, his eyes wide and his lips parted. His hands aren't twitching anymore but they're still reaching towards the bed. He doesn't say anything, he just stares at me in bewilderment.

I compose myself with a deep breath, wiping my cheeks quickly and climbing off the bed. "Dove, make the bed, please. I want you to do anything that makes you feel better. But if you choose not to, I'm not gonna be mad," I step towards Spencer, holding my hands out in front of me and not expecting him to grab them. "I'm gonna go downstairs and I'm gonna start cooking, and you come down when you're ready, okay?"

I give Spencer one more attempt at a convincing smile before turning and going downstairs. My first stop is to the living room, and I pop the record into the player that Spencer had put on yesterday. If it did something to comfort him yesterday, hopefully it will do the same today. I grab both of our phones and start cooking breakfast.

I mix batter for waffles in a bowl as I check my notifications, sifting through a whole load of texts. My groupchat with my friends has a couple hundred texts, starting off with lots of questions and concerns about Spencer from yesterday, asking if he's okay, if he's home, wondering how happy we are. I have other texts from Wendy and Mike, asking the same types of questions that my friends did. I send some quick responses to all of them and let them know that we're home, we slept for a very long time, and that I'll contact them later with more updates.

Spencer's quiet footsteps approach and I turn to face him, breathing a sigh of relief when I find he's not so worked up anymore. "I hope waffles are okay."

Once I've closed the waffle maker and let it start cooking, I glance over my shoulder to ee what Spencer is doing. He's sitting gingerly at the island, placing his elbows on the granite and eyes darting around the room. Honestly, I don't even know why he sat there. He absolutely hated sitting there and eating yesterday, and it made him have some sort of flashback. Maybe it's because he started off the morning with the prison-bed situation, and now the natural order of events in the day is to be transported right to prison-breakfast.

"Hey, bub, you don't have to sit at the table," I say casually, trying not to bring too much attention to it. "You didn't like that yesterday. But you seemed better when we sat on the floor so we can do that again, or we can go on the couch or the balcony." I don't even have time to see his reaction before the waffle maker beeps, and I have to whip around to pull the waffle out.

I can hear Spencer shuffling behind me, and then I feel his shoulder brushing against my leg as he slides down to the floor beside me. I put the waffle onto the plate and hand it down to him, then open the drawer above his head to grab a fork.

"Thank you," Spencer mumbles, catching my free hand in his and pressing his lips to the back of my hand. It's clearly a thank you for more than just handing him a fork, or making him breakfast, or sleeping with him, or showering with him, or anything of that. It's a thank you for being so patient with him, but I couldn't fathom not being there for him in the way he needs. I want to tell him that he doesn't need to thank me, but in his mind, it is something he needs to do, so I decide to let it happen for a while before I start to refuse his thanks.

The next week functions almost identical to this. Spencer is quiet, keeping to himself and eating his meals on the floor and making the bed perfectly in the morning, cleaning the bedroom floor every night, wearing a tee shirt to bed. I get just a few glimpses of the man he was, but not many.

Emily had called later that day to let Spencer know that the entire BAU was placed on a mandatory six week leave, but also that he had to be evaluated for reinstatement. A whole slew of people have to review Spencer's actions, have to interview him, have to test him to see if he's fit to return to work, and he didn't take this news well. He didn't talk to me for a hours and just curled up on the floor of the bedroom, staring out the window with the drawn-back curtains. I tried, for so long, to get him to talk to me, but he didn't budge and he didn't even look at me. So I just grabbed whatever book was inside his go-bag from the last case he went on and sat beside him, reading aloud in an attempt to bring him back down to earth. And when he did, he went off to shower and then straight to bed.

Spencer's work is his life and there's few things he loves more than his work. I know that he would be lost without the BAU and that he would have absolutely no clue what to do with his life if he couldn't keep working there. So hearing that there's a chance that he may not be reinstated to the BAU is absolutely crushing.

On the other end of the spectrum, the prospect of Spencer not being reinstated isn't all bad to me. In his line of work, there are always going to be enemies. There's always going to be another Cat and another Lindsay. He's always going to have guns pointed at him and bombs blowing up beside him and people wanting to kill him. If he's not reinstated, I get to have him home every morning and night and I won't stare at the wall at lunch with Jenna, wondering if Spencer has just been shot or if he has a knife to his neck. I know that he would absolutely hate not being reinstated, but it would save me so much heartache.

That's an incredibly selfish thought, I know. I'm happy and willing to strip Spencer of one of the things that makes him happiest in his life just so I can sleep at night. But all I've wanted from the moment I met him is for him to be safe and to be happy and if he's not chasing serial killers, I know that he will at least be safe. Happy? I can't help but imagine he wouldn't be.

After a tense week at home, I convince Spencer to let me take him back to his apartment. He insists that he doesn't want for stay there and would rather stay with me, even though I said I would stay at his apartment with him, but I'm happy to let him keep with me. I just want him to be happy.

So I drove him over to his apartment, picked up most of his clothes and whatever else he was needing, and he rounds up an entire duffle bag full of books that I'm sure he would read in just one day. But we collect whatever he could possibly need and shove it in my car, then go straight back to my apartment. I'm starting to get a little stir crazy, being trapped in my apartment, but Spencer doesn't want to go out anywhere yet and the last thing on my mind is forcing him into things he's uncomfortable with.

"So what do you wanna do today?" I unzip the bag full of books and start making a few small piles against the wall, glancing over my shoulder at Spencer. He shrugs gently, too distracted with picking a record to properly respond to my question. Sighing, I return my attention to the books.

The record turns on and this time, I recognize it to be a record full of Christmas music. We've been listening to nothing but Taylor Swift, Frank Sinatra, and Christmas music this past week, and while that's my favorite music and I have no problem with it, it's odd. Spencer never really listened to that music, whether we were together or not. He always managed to convince me to put on some cello concerto that wound up being fifteen minutes long. I thought he would rather listen to that and not Christmas music when it's almost the summer, but I haven't questioned this yet.

"Could we," Spencer starts speaking after a moment, tearing my attention from the books, "maybe watch a movie?"

It's the first time he's suggested anything like that. Honestly, it's one of the first times he's suggested that we do anything. He's just been staying quiet and following me around like a puppy dog, watching me attempt to draw in a sketchbook or watching me cook or watching me do the laundry. He's stuck to my side, even if he hasn't been touching me much. So now that he's suggesting that we do something, I'm not about to pass up this development.

"Yeah, of course. You can choose whatever you want. I'll be over there when I'm done," Spencer nods and turns his back to me, and I pick up my pace in emptying the books from the duffle bag. I don't want to lose this momentum of him, maybe, feeling just a little bit better.

Once I've stacked all the books, I fold up the duffle bag nicely and put it in a place where it won't bother Spencer, and then head into the living room. He's sitting on the couch with a DVD case in his lap, and he holds it out to me when I approach. Always a technophobe, he never goes near the DVD player and lets me do it.

"Polar Express?" I raise my eyebrows, but that's as far as my questioning goes. I pop the DVD out of the case and put it into the player, then grab the remote and press play.

I settle onto the couch with my favorite plaid blanket, draping it over my lap. As the movie starts and the title screen shows, I feel cold. I'm completely covered and under my trusty blanket, but I'm cold. Absolutely freezing. I pull the blanket tighter around me and when my temperature doesn't shift, I quickly realize where the cold is coming from.

Spencer and I are a very physical couple. Despite his aversion to touch, he never seemed to have the problem when it came to me. Especially when we watched movies, we were always touching. Legs, hands, shoulders and heads, laps and heads. There was always a connection, but now there's none. I'm left on my own couch cushion, not sharing Spencer's cushion and continuously pushing closer and closer until we're squished together. A shiver runs down my spine.

We watch the movie in silence for a little while, all the way up until the three main characters are singing a song at the back of the train. And while they're singing, I feel Spencer reaching over, grabbing the edge of the blanket, tugging it closer to him. "You can come closer," he tells me, looking up at me through his lashes, fingers grasping the fuzz of the blanket.

Happy to comply with this request, I scoot closer to him until our legs are touching. I think that's enough for now, but then Spencer slings his arm over my legs and tugs me closer until my knees collapse over his legs and I'm laying my head on his chest. It's a position that I'm so familiar with and I've been dying to be in, but he hasn't been up for lately. My body warms up. The shivers stop.

I completely melt into his embrace, pressing my ear against his chest to listen for the steady beat of his heart as I wrap my arm around his stomach. I let my eyelids flutter closed and relax into him. The movie isn't important anymore, at least not to me.

///

SPENCER

///

Today is a good day, one of the first I've actually had since being home since my prison release. I thought that actually leaving Amelia's apartment would make me nervous, but returning home wasn't as horrible as it seemed like it would be. For once, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm even feeling well enough to watch a movie and cuddle with Amelia on the couch, just like we used to do. She still can't creep up behind me or touch me without showing me her hands first and I still can't eat at a table, but it's an improvement. Albeit a tiny one, but it's there nonetheless.

By the time the movie is coming to an end, Amelia has slid down to rest her head on my lap, her curls sprawled out and her hands pulled up to her chin. She looks ridiculously adorable like this, and even though it's a sight that I've seen many times and I've committed to memory, I wish I could sit and stare at her forever.

But that plan is foiled when my phone starts buzzing on the coffee table. My first instinct is to look down to check that Amelia is still sleeping, and all she does is scrunch up her nose a bit before relaxing. Adorable.

I grab a pillow from beside me and slide it under her head when I slip out from under her. Thankfully, she doesn't notice and she doesn't wake up. Pleased with this, I grab my phone and rush onto the balcony. I don't have time to check who it is before I answer. "Reid."

"Hey, Reid," Rossi's voice comes through the phone. "How's it going?"

"It's-" I ponder my answer for a moment, double-checking that the door is closed as I sink into one of Amelia's adirondack chairs, "um, it's a good day today."

"Good, I'm glad. And I'm glad you've got Amelia to look after you. You've got a good one there. She really cares about you," Rossi says, and his words prompt me to turn and peer into the window at her sleeping form, curled up on the couch and holding the blanket to her chest. "Where-- uh-- where is she right now?"

"She's sleeping right now. I'm on the balcony," Honestly, this is already some of the most talking I've done in the last week and I'm exhausted. I'd rather be talking to Amelia, but Rossi called me for a reason, plus I know that Amelia needs to get some sleep. "Did you need something?"

"Yeah. I'm afraid I may need to bring your day down a bit," Rossi sighs, and my heart drops down to my feet. "I feel horrible calling you now, after everything you went through and while the BAU is on leave, but you need to know the situation."

I furrow my eyebrows, balling my free hand into a fist, digging my nails into my palm to give the pain somewhere to go. "What situation?"

"Damian Kelsey's signature popped up on two bodies in LA."

I didn't think that I would have to face a day where Damian Kelsey's signature reappears. I admit that I have stayed late at work many times just to look at Damian's case file and rememorize the details and try to predict what his next murder would have been all while ignoring the chilling family photos that contain my girlfriend as a horribly abused child.

And this is the worst possible time for this to happen. I can barely go a day without flashing back to prison or almost yelling at my amazing and patient girlfriend. How can I possibly tack on dealing with her serial killer father's signature resurfacing, all while trying to keep it a secret from her? It's nearly impossible. I thought that I could just take these stupid six weeks off to spend time with Amelia and try to rest comfortably, but I guess that's not possible.

"I'm heading to LA as we speak. I'm getting on a plane right now. And while we both know what his signature coming up again could mean, the good thing is that these are male victims and they're not surrogates for Amelia. I know that's what you're worried about. The other good thing is that this is across the country and obviously nowhere near Virginia. So--"

"Spencer?" Amelia's sweet voice comes from the balcony doors, the blanket disregarded on the couch and her hair messy on the top of her head.

"Gotta go," I mumble, hanging up my phone and tossing it aside, not even waiting to say goodbye to my coworker.

Amelia steps onto the balcony, her bare feet silent as she approaches me slowly, rubbing her eyes like a small child. "Everything okay?"

I reach my hands out for her and she smiles, placing her hands in mine and slowly sinking onto my lap, resting her head on my chest, similar to the position we had been in before. Amelia runs a hand over my chest and it takes everything in me not to let out a sound akin to a cat purring.

I just hold her tightly in my arms, probably the tightest I have since I saw her for the first time in the parking lot of my correctional facility. Rossi swears that Damian Kelsey won't come after Amelia but I just hold her tighter, as if that will protect her from the horrors of the world. I have a lot of holding to make up for from when I was gone, and I suppose that time starts now.

TAGLIST

@babybloodstonebones @bxnnywriting @blameitonthenight21 @feralreid @anepiphany @reidscardigan @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @4x24 @whollytaciturn @thegingerfairchild @yasminwashere @shrimpyblog @anamelessfacelessnerd @wonderlandhatter @whxt-to-write @just-call-me-non @imagining-in-the-margins @boldlyvoid @homoose @gubler-me-up @thundergunexpresss @eideticmemory @andiebeaword

9 notes · View notes

minthysugamon · 4 years

Text

Everybody wants to rule the world.

Noble Assistant! Namjoon x Assassin! Reader.

1789! AU

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Mention of dried blood,gunshots and other stuff...i mean..it's the revolution..so yeah.

(Credit for the Original Photo: @/athenaa. I only edited it a little bit. But all credit goes to the original artist who posted the photo first in it's original version)

(Painting: La liberté guidant le peuple by Eugène Delacroix)

14 Juillet 1789,

The streets were overcrowded,people were standing for hours in front of the Bastille. Everybody knew...the reunion of the General Estates was chaotic. The deputies spent months to collect all the reviews that could help them make a reform,that could help the Third Estate to have the same rights as the nobility...but instead of that,King Louis XVI refused all the changes that should have been made. So...the whole Third Estate was back to case one. It was no surprise when the King had dismissed the assembly to go back to his residence. But what surprised him was the determination that the future National Assembly had. They swore,they will give France a constitution,they make up the large majority of the country,they can do it without being harmed too much. The King still didn't care about the 1200 Deputies plea for equality. But dear lord,the Regent was wrong for ignoring all the warning signs about the revolution.

But there she was,waiting for her brother to come back,in a house near the Bastille..waiting for the three volounteers to come out with the gun powder. Not as if she wanted to kill or wound someone..but..she wanted to participate. She wanted to see how people will take over the power. Her brother is a Lawyer...Maximilien Robespierre is his name. But since she is a woman..she will never have the chance to become one...she can only learn from him,in secret,because work is a taboo for women.

"Why are you here?" Her brother grabbed her wrist,looking her dead in the eye. He wasn't amused,at all. "I..i just wanted to come..to see if everything was alright...Mère s'inquiète pour vous¹..." He sighed,letting her wrist go,and he bowed his head. "I told you clearly to stay in Arras,didn't i? You are too curious for your own good. One day it will bring you trouble." She cracked a small smile,only for a moment though,and while she exhaled,she whispered a small "Je le sais,mon frère.²" As she sat down,in front of the window,Maximilien went behind her and watched the chaos unfold in front of the Bastille. "What are they trying to do?" She looked up at him,with glassy eyes. She would never admit it but as much as the revolution gave her adrenaline and excited her...she was also scared. Scared of what will happen. "They are trying to get the gun powder...i guess Launey still didn't give in to take the cannons back." He watched as the people were getting more and more impatient,and then,he headed out of the small townhouse. Since she was also the curious type,she headed out after him. "LA POUDRE. LA POUDRE. DONNEZ-NOUS LA POUDRE³". The crowd was screaming for the gun powder. While Launey was still discussing with the three peasants.

While the crowd was roaring outside,Launey was talking with the three peasants. "Monsieur Kim,would you please tell the soldiers to retract the cannons?" The young immigrant who became Launey's assistant just looked at him confused. "But..Maître...it's nearly impossible to get them retracted,we don't have the King's authorisation." And as the three peasants looked at him with an evil expression,the assistant hesitantly said "I will try to persuade them...but i may need your help if anything goes wrong." The keeper of the Bastille just looked at him with a reassuring smile and said "Don't worry,Mon fils,everything will go alright. Just do as i say." The boy went up,and tried to tell the soldiers what was bound to happen if they don't take the cannons back. The soldiers just laughed and told him to piss off. But at the view of the weapons not getting retracted,the crowd was growing louder with every second that passed. The chance of them getting into the Bastille was also increasing with every shout that left their throat. The assisstant of Launey was running back down to the study of his mentor.

"Maître Launey,what are we going to do? They don't want to retract them. I tried to persuade them,but they aren't listening." Launey only sighed,and stood up. "Si vous pourriez m'excuser,je vous en serai reconnaissant.⁴" With that said,he went up with the young man that he swore to protect after his own son died in his arms due to pneumonia,and looked at the Soldiers. "I sent the message of retracting the cannons. Then why do i still see them here?"

One of the armed men was brave enough to say "We thought that your assisstant maneuvered on his own..." and to that,the Master of the Bastille answered clearly,exercising his authority on them. "Whether it's me or my assistant,you are obligated to comply to my wishes and my commands. Whether you like it or not. Now get those cannons retracted before the people think that we want to hurt them."

At the same time,the youngest Robespierre was following her brother. What Maximilien didn't know was his sister's abilities. Nobody knew,but she was the one of the best trained assassins of the country. She went in the crowd and got lost in it,so no one could see what she was about to do. Her plan was to climb to the first floor and open the gate. And it was going well until ths crowd heard a gunshot inside the court of the Bastille. "THEY KILLED THEM. THEY KILLED OUR ALLIES. LET'S SHOW THEM THAT THEY CAN'T MESS WITH US." "Merde...⁵" The swear word escaped her lips as she was near the backyard of the Bastille. But that didn't stop her. Just like how the crowd didn't stop running down the doors.

Namjoon was scared for his life. As soon as the people swarmed in as bees in a beehive,he was becoming more and more nervous. "Maître,what are we going to do?" And his mentor looked at him,with his pale face,then shouted at the brigade. "RASSEMBLEZ LA POUDRE.⁶ GET ALL THE POWDER. AND TAKE IT DOWN. WE WILL ACT ACCORDING TO WHAT WILL HAPPEN." Then he looked back at his assistant,sending him a look full of emotions and calmly said. "Son,go and hide in the study. Lock all the doors. Don't do anything wrong,and they won't get in." And for once,he spoke to him in an informal way,like how a father would tell his son how to hide. "But,Maître-" Namjoon objected to the idea of letting his mentor,but also his adoptive father in some ways,fight for the Bastille. But before he knew,he was pushed into the study by Launey,and he locked the door before going back to his soldiers. "Que Dieu...aie pitié de votre âme...Père...⁷" And with a heavy heart,he blocked the door with a cupboard and the handles with three swords..the more,the better.

While the crowd was swarming in,(Y/n) was trying to get a better view of the situation by climbing the wall of the gigantic fortress which served as the royal prison. "Pour l'amour des cieux⁸...why did that idiot have to cry wolf when nothing was going on..." and as she finally climbed the first floor which had a corridor,she sneaked in,just like a shadow,almost invisible. The people were or too busy trying to free the seven remaining prisoners,or trying to kill any guard that came their way,or to find the gun powder and leave. She was feeling nauseous from the smell of dried blood on the walls of the hall,but she won't vomit here and now,or people will think she's one of the guards or just a simple whore who paid visit to Launey. But speak of the devil. Two men saw her,and started chasing her,so in the first turn,she turned to right,then to the left and continued this pattern until she fell through a passageway to the Study.

Namjoon was shocked when he saw the girl fall through the secret passage,but nothing shocked him more than to see a girl being armed like a professional assassin. "Qui diable est-tu?⁹" his voice came out more shaky than expected. And the girl only answered "Be glad that i'm not here to kill you. Who are you? You don't seem to be from here." If she was being honest...she never saw someone like him. She could only think about the fact that he wasn't here. Thanks to the books of her father and her brother,she quickly guessed that he was from the Far East. "I asked first,mademoiselle." And she looked at him,unfazed. "Look,i don't have the time to play this. Where is Launey,i have to talk to him." And the young man picked a sword up and quickly took her in his arms to put the blade against her neck. "What do you want from him? Seeing how you are dressed and what you're carrying,i am pretty sure that you mean no good. And most probably,you're on their side. Aren't you?" The only thing she could say was a determined "Yes. But,I only want to talk. That's it. If i wanted to kill him,he would be already dea-" her voice was cut off by loud banging on the front door. "LAUNEY,ON SAIT QUE TU ES LÀ.¹⁰ STOP HIDING AND BE A MAN." And Namjoon only looked at the unknown girl,with panic in his eyes,and she looked back at him. "Go,find somewhere to hide. I'll tell them that no one was here." The assisstant looked at her with confusion plastered on his face. "But..you have the chance to kill me now. Why won't you do it?" And she laughed but in a bitter way,trying her best to keep the door closed. "The stars aren't alligned for that today. It's your lucky day today,Sir. Now go. Hide before they kill you." With a quick nod he started to run towards the secret passage,but quickly turned back and looked at her. "Name's Namjoon." And the youngest Robespierre just looked at him,with an amused look and replied "(Y/n). Remember that name when you'll say grace to God for keeping an eye on you. Now go." And as soon as he was out,she let the door break free. With a half smirk and playful eyes,she cocked her pistol towards one of the peasants. "Good Morning gentlemen,beautiful day to cause a revolution i see. It would be a shame if something..or someone stopped this. So i advise you to turn back around,and go on your way to find the much-wanted powder." One of the peasants just laughed at her,but when she shot him in the arm,the other two,unarmed,were quick to run out of the study.

Namjoon still didn't understand why she spared his life,but he was thankful. For once,his luck was immeasurable,and he felt good about it. But the same went for her...(Y/n) still didn't understand what took over her to spare his life and shoot someone,who was playing on the same side as she was. But sometimes...life puts you in a situation where a plot twist is inevitable.

As the battle was still going on in the court,after what felt like an eternity,(Y/n) but also Namjoon realised...whether you're a revolutionary or a nobleman...you have one thing in common. You want to rule the world. Because if there's something in common in the power hungry humans...is the will to rule the world..because Everybody wants to rule the world.

Translation:

¹ = Mother is worried about you.

² = I know it,brother.

³ = The Powder,the powder,give us the powder.

⁴ = If you could excuse me,i would be grateful for it.

⁵ = Shit...

⁶ = Get all the powder.

⁷ = May God have mercy on your soul,father.

⁸ = For Heaven's sake

⁹ = Who the hell are you?

¹⁰ = Launey,we know you're inside there.

(A/n: I know the end is rushed but i hope you guys still liked it. The idea came to me when i had my history exam,and that was in December,but i didn't have time to finish it...so here is a bit rushed-ended one shot about Namjoon in the 1789 French Revolution. Thank you again for your patience,and i hope you guys are doing well! ❤)

#kim namjoon scenario #kim namjoon #namjoon #namjoon au #rm scenario #bts rm #rm au #1789 #1789 AU #bts scenario #bts scenarios #namjoon fanfic #namjoon imagine #namjoon scenarios #bts imagine #bts au fanfic #bts au fic #bts aus

21 notes · View notes

blackfemmecharacterdependency · 4 years

Text

BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Summertime on Netflix

This is what I’m gonna do... I’ll be doing more structured reviews later and most likely liveblogging suggested stuff and tagging with “Nesha Watches (Insert Title) for all liveblog posts. For this first review, I won’t be as structured, because I didn’t really plan on reviewing, so this is basically all of my comments to friends @chenoahchantel and @daintyurbanprincess that were made whilst I was watching this show suggested to me by @rbaifzau

It didn’t take me long to be annoyed with the white boy in this show. It doesn’t take much anyways, but one episode in and I’m over him already. This dude saw her at a party, she got pushed into the pool accidentally, he gave her a dry shirt, and two minutes later tried to kiss her… TF..

Girl, this bout to be IGNANT...

Chile... She was like, "What are you doing?" And he looked surprised. Like whet. And in episode 2 after having seen her thrice and spoken to her once, he telling his best friend, "I'm pretty sure I like her a lot." I HATE stuff like this. Why did I tell old girl I'd watch this and discuss it with her? 😭

But she like him, so like??? 😭

And her daddy, who we haven't seen yet is presumably a rolling stone. Only one negro in this town and the nigga gotta be probably running around on his wife? 🙄 I'm like, OH, so the one Black man in the show gotta be a rolling stone? And even though his wife is also highly irresponsible as a parent, she's sort of made out to be the victim of his dreams. They never portray Black mothers doing things on their own as victims. That woman was messing up left and right and it's all on her husband not being there, when that's only part of the problem.

Also, if she IS the only present parent and made the decision to do that, she should be doing it instead of leaning on Summer all of the time.

And she got a close friend that have an obvious crush on her but she seems oblivious. I hate dis

This dude reminds me of Max Theriot. He always looked musty to me. 🤣🤣🤣 He look like him breaf stank. Him and Jack Griffo were working on something where they play soldiers and I absolutely said, "He still look like he stank" when I saw him on Instagram…

This is basically the same mold of dude and it looks moldy and should be tossed out. None for me, thanks.

But, there are moments in this show that's really cracking me up. 🤣🤣🤣 It's like, I feel like I should enjoy it for the messiness of it, but the main characters can be infuriating.

She called him an asshole and he said, "You don't even know me." No duh dipshit. She ain't know you when you tried to kiss her neither. NOR when you was talmbout you like her.

This girl kissing her friend!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. She's gonna hurt this boy! My Gwad. He finna be discombobulated. 😭😭😭 He all happy today and she don't even see him like that. Lordt.

He walked up and she look uncomfortable AF. Her younger sister is like, "You're being weird." 🤣🤣🤣 Even SHE hip to something. He on the beach talmbout "It's hot today, don't you think?" And took his shirt off. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I like Summer's friends and feel bad for them because she really didn't treat them kindly. She used Edo whenever she was upset by Ale and then she just completely ditched Sofie on her birthday and didn't even text her or anything. Just had her waiting on her and didn't even apologize. Like, I love that she gets a chance to be human, but being an asshole to the people who you're supposed to be friends with is such an upsetting trope to me.

And the connection between her and Ale is so weird. He comes across as super predatory in the beginning and I don't understand why she liked him in the first place, but also whenever he does something by mistake, she is so angry at him, even though she's been just as inconsiderate when it comes to her friends.

NOW... HE HARASSING HER AT HER JOB.

WOTTICE DIS HUNNY???

Talmbout if she got a boyfriend he'll "take care of him" 😖 After she told him to leave and he said he'd wait for her outside, she asked her coworker, "What do you do to let a guy know you like him back?"

NOW, she went outside and he's there, but her friend showed up to surprise her after work. 🤣 Whoever made this HATES me

He stole a book out her locker and left a card with his phone number. How is this the start of a romance???

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. FRIEND IS TALKING ABOUT THE KISS...He said it was perfect........

Chile... And she don't even wanna tell their other best friend. Bruh. He said, "What we have doesn't need to be discussed." Summy PLEASE tell this young man...HE TRIED TO KISS HER AGAIN AND SHE SAID, "We just talked about last night's mistake" 😭😭😭

And she done hurt my friend this way, but she worried about Maxface because his mama can't reach him on the phone??? Girl.. go.. girl...

The gag is that she got mad at Ale because she saw him talking to his ex and she had to cover for him at work, but you've now ACTUALLY put your best friend in a bad space. And he ran into her mom and little sister and looked so uncomfortable but kept it short and sweet. These are people he loves. Idk. I feel bad for him and also like she kind of a hypocrite.

That was what REALLY bothered me. I don't expect her to be perfect, by all means. Black girls should be allowed their imperfections and their mistakes, but the fact that she knows what it's like to have the people you love be so absent and that she would treat her friends this way because of one guy who she's only known for a couple of months was disappointing for her character. She could have been written imperfectly without this glaring problem that I don't believe a real person in her position would actually have.

I think in real life, the girl who raises her sister and basically has to lift her mother up all the time would overextend herself to her friends, but instead, she just leaves them in her dust as soon as she gets some dick. 😭

He is now hanging out with her little sister. 😭😭😭She goes to school with them but she looks tiny. I'm cringing at everything.

BRUH. Like... I can't tell if they're trying to or not, but I wouldn't be surprised because he's cool with the sister too, but they've been friends a while, so I didn't think much of it until Summer hurt him.I thought she liked him earlier, so idk if he is noticing her or I just EXPECT it.

OAN, this man realized his son had a motorcycle accident on purpose and got mad instead of concerned

At one point, they say he's been riding bikes for 20 years, and whenever his father is mad that he had his accident on purpose (which I'll come back to) he says that he's never made a mistake like that, not even was he was 4, so Ale is AT LEAST 24 and she JUST turned 18. Which is WILD to me, even though at 18 I dated someone who was 23 (he was possessive and abusive, so I have a real suspicion of age gaps).

But, aside from that - she gets mad at him any time she sees him with his ex when It is perfectly fine to speak with your ex and whenever she did see them together, it was always innocent and she didn't give him a chance to explain.

But then, when he does something questionable, like whenever he tried to kiss her the first day they met, or whenever he came to her job to ask her out and she told him to leave but he said he was going to wait outside (toxic AF and presumptuous) she is fine with those things.

Now, back to Ale's accident. I really felt so bad for him whenever we discover he did this on purpose, because his father is mad, when they should be concerned. His mother says, "You could have died" and he agrees...

How did they not notice that meant that this young man was so disappointed with his life as a biker that he was literally suicidal? They just grazed past it and whenever he vanished on them, there wasn't a huge call to find him,even though he'd just admitted to purposefully filling a possibly fatal mistake.

I'm prepared for nothing but disappointment. ALL these people outta there. Ale's best friend is in love with his ex. 😭 IT'S SUMMER'S 18TH BIRTHDAY. MYNIGGA She really stood her other best friend up to go get some dick on a little ass boat

The little sister shot her shot! 😭😭😭 He told her she's like his little sister and she burnt off mad denna muffugga

This child drunk, walking down the street in the middle of the night without her glasses...

OMG AS I WAS TYPING THAT SHE GOT HIT BY A DAMN CAR

I was really upset by these things coming to light, and also whenever Blue gets hit by a car, because all of the reviews that I've seen on this site have been that it's a cute love story with likable characters, but nobody mentions the problematic content, the dark portions of the story that can be triggering - like suicide and alcohol incidents and literally seeing a young Black girl be hit and run by a car???

I wasn't prepared for that shit in a "cute love story." I think that this story is less cute and more dark than people have made it out to be, and that's one of my problems with it. It isn't marketed as a dramatic coming of age story. It's marketed as a romantic comedy, when it is more serious than that and has a lot of issues that should be considered.

The lesbian best friend is in love with her too??????????????????? I. Hate. This.

My favorite person in this whole thing is the lesbian in the background, Irene. And also Dario.

I was entertained a lot of the times. Just heavily confused because I couldn't figure out what the tone was supposed to be. 😁

In conclusion - it's maybe a dark comedy, not a cute comedy, IS a coming of age about a young Black girl who is kind of an asshole, but Black girls should be free to be assholes too. White dudes do it all the time and are valued characters. The dude is weird AF for chasing around this 17 year old girl and he's in his 20s. Idk if that's normal in Italy. It's nasty to me. Their beginning is young people foolishness and there's not much that we see their relationship built upon, but that happens, yanno. You young, tired and silly and some pushy dude makes his move whenever he see you. Slap some discount sex in a dinghy on it and you have this show. I don't recommend it, but a lot of folk loved it, so I guess it did what it meant to do.

#BFCD Reviews by Nesha #Nesha Watches Summertime with Regrets #Nesha Watches Summertime #It's just called Summertime. I watched it with regrets but #Here was my takeaway #Summer Bennati #Summertime #summertime netflix #Nesha Watches

4 notes · View notes

mummified-game-review · 3 years

Text

Babysitter Bloodbath: A Review

youtube

My D&D group said my microphone was super quiet in the last session since I've moved my computer around. Let's see if it affects my recording.

Alright here we go! Back at it again with another video. Sorry about the long vacation but I had some troubles getting the review done on the 22nd and then my motivation to make videos while on the road was lacking. I thought I could play one game on the plane, and write a review for one as well. But there was no way I was going to be able to write as efficiently as I could. For an hour. So I just played a lot of Roller Derby Disco Dodgeball. Then I had a car ride. I could have played another game and written a review while sitting in the passenger seat. But again that didn't happen. And neither did that happen on the way back home as well.

I think It was a good idea to just turn off all of this “work” that I do for the weekend. Being able to focus on having fun and not worry about making videos for a little bit. And I wasn't ready to come back to these videos quite yet so I took the rest of last week off and now I'm back and ready to get right into making these videos again.

Thank you for sticking around.

Anyway, Welcome back to Mummified Games today we are going to be talking about the Homage Horror game Babysitter Bloodbath. By Puppet Combo and Pig Farmer Games

Oh right that's why I wasn't able to get the video out on the 23rd. Cause this game sucks.

Okay let me explain my experience with this game real quick.

So back on the 23rd of July I was going to sit down and play this game and give it a good fair shake at what this game gives.

Okay this is cool retro horor style. I like what the game has going on with the herd camera angles, sort of giving it a classic horror film style mixed with a Resident Evil 1 vibe. Cool cool cool.

I thought it was funny that you can still spin the character in some of the cut scenes. That's silly.

The controls or the way that we navigate through the dialogue is a bit annoying.

So the game can be played almost exclusively with just the WASD keys and Spacebar. Walk Sara forward or backwards with W and S, and then turn her left and right with A and D. Look at things or interact with the Spacebar. All basic things.

Not the best controls, you can't move Sara as easily as compared to modern 3rd person games. But its indi and sometimes less than perfect controls can add to the gameplay and make it a more interesting experience.

The problem comes up whenever you have to make a selection in the game like saying yes and no, or conversation stuff at the start of the game. Then you can only use the mouse to make your decisions.

And the controls are mostly hands off the mouse because it also is used to control her turning and direction. So you don't want your two hands messing up where Sarah is looking or walking.

So most of the game was me playing one handed with my right under my chin sort of holding up my head. But then I would need to select something and I would have to shift my body and refine the mouse and make the selection.

A bit annoying when I could just use W and S to move the choices up and down and space to select what choice I want to make.

I'm not a developer so maybe this is a hard thing to do.

The parents leave you with the kid and they give you a number of where they can be reached. There are numbers you're expected to remember so maybe actually right it down.

The gameplay starts after this and it's fairly linear in its tasks it asks you to do. Turn on the TV, Pick up the phone, Go get a boy's number from your coat, Catch Billy, Call the boy, feed Billy cereal, get the key to the liquor cabinet, grab some boose. It's like making a star pattern all over the house.

If you’re checking everything you might find the radio and turn it on and find a new broadcast talking about how there is an escaped dangerous mental patient.

And eventually surprise surprise there is a weird sound outside and Sarah asks the boy she called over to go check it out for her.

AND THAT'S WHEN MY GAME CRASHED!

What an absolute joke!

And so friends that when my troubles with getting a video out on the 23rd started. It was about 40 minutes into a recording when I would have had to start all over again from the start.

Now this isn't entirely the game's fault. Yes there is a save feature. But it wasn't like i did a lot yet to get to this point there was no danger yet and knowing what i know now about what would come next in the game an event would have triggered that would have caused me to go save right after this.

But that's something I noticed about the game after I came back and tried to play it again after my vacation. There’s a tape that you can pick up and put into the VCR to Save your progress.

BIG COMPLAINT RIGHT HERE!

When you get the VCR you need to have the cassette to save. Well that's nothing. It's just on the desk next to the TV. It’s right there no big deal there are lots of games that need you to go do something before you can “turn on the global data history program”. Some games have silly things like this. But the problem is that once I picked it up and I used it to save the game, If I came back later Like i Did on my second play though it said I needed to get another tape to make another save.

WHAT!!!!! THE AUDACITY To make something like a save feature be a collectible thing its a JOKE! Not to mention that I've scrubbed this house from top to bottom and there are no other cassettes in this house. I have no idea what I need to do to make the game save a second time.

That's absolute bull!

So l eventually the power was cut and I had to make my way outside and see what happened.

A high stress moment happens and now i'm forced to run away and every five steps the camera is changing and it's impossible to navigate. NOT TO MENTION THAT I'M BEING CHASED BY A KILLER WITH A KNIFE!

I'm banging on the door and it's locked.

Nowhere to go trapped on the porch with a killer cause it took me forever to get there. And now I'm dead.

Okay.

Did i mention that this game is incredibly dark and hard to see anything. Most of the recording I had the same brightness settings I've had for all these game reviews but for this to be able to see anything I cracked up the recording brightness.

So its dark can't see I'm dead and now to start over half way thought this stupid babby sitting situation. Great!

Make cereal again, turn on the tv again. EVERYTHING ALL OVER AGAIN! Because I used my one save too early in the game.

Eventually I set the camera from the weird movie mode to the 3rd person camera to make things easier to move around with.

And kept my hand on the mouse just in case.

I went back to the VCR and I couldn't save after the light went out PROVING MY POINT THAT You only get one save!

You can't pick up the axe

Press the action over and over and I'm dead again.

THIS IS BROKEN!

Okay so the clear thing to do is go back in and use the one save I have to save just before I go outside to investigate and see the killer for the first time. Save just before the boss battle right.

I've got everything down on what to do and where to go so this should be real quick just need to start a new game right?

Standard intro that always plays, walk up to the house, ring the doorbell, and

Sarah “Billy, I need you to run and find somewhere to hide. Do it!” and i'm back at the start of the game no milk spilled on the floor. Billy isn't running around the house. I didn't have a conversation with the parents about staying home.

It's like it's a new game and yet Billy is missing yet the father is stuck by the entrance.

Great, the game broke again.

That's it. I've given this game a fair shake. I've played the game for an hour and a half and the game crashed 3 times. Has a bad save feature, slow controls. And since I never played old horror games or Watched old horror movies I have no special feelings about this.

If you already have this from a bundle then give it a shot since you already paid money for it.

If you think you can have a better time and you want to give it a whirl then by all means its your money.

But if this game looks interesting and you were thinking of giving it a shot then maybe don't or go find another game. Maybe one of the other 3 horror games they made is better.

As for those of you who have played it let me know what you thought of it. If you have experience with games like this or if this is a good Homage or not.

If you haven't played the game, I'm almost scared to ask, but what other horror games are out there that you think I should try. Let me know in the comments.

In the meantime. Maybe I’ll just watch someone else play this and see how they played the game. And figure out if they found some sort of trick to playing this game.

You all do the youtube dance, Like, comment Sub, bell and let me know what you thought down below.

And as always Babysitters of the world

Keep digging and we’ll make it out sometime

See you in the next one.

0 notes

portfolio-ni-rizza · 4 years

Text

Avengers: Endgame [Personal] Review

After 11 years and 21 films, we get the culmination to a cinematic franchise unlike anything we've ever seen before, and it is everything we expected it to be–even the bad ones.

What Avengers: Endgame does well, it does REALLY well. It's hard to imagine, at this point, any other franchise being able to churn out an output of this caliber. On the other hand, what Endgame got wrong, it got VERY wrong. And it's all the more frustrating to think they would never have gotten this right, anyway. Even with its (debatably) best release to date, the MCU still failed at the one thing it never got right: it's female heroes.

(But, to be fair, Marvel perennially disappoints every other character who isn't played by Robert Downey Jr., so no surprise here.)

So let's start with Endgame's biggest, most disgusting, but easily solvable mistake: killing off Black Widow.

To give credit where it's due, the Marvel comics was made at a time when women were still largely seen as less than a person; when their worth only went as far as their ability to hold babies in their wombs and arms. And with the MCU being heavily based on those materials, it's not surprising that the movies carried these oppressive sentiments too.

Even so, the MCU wasn't made in the 40s. Majority of it is set today, for today's audiences. So the fact that it still chose to carry those misogynistic, outdated values is just plain ridiculous.

And the Black Widow, in all her iteration be it in the comics or movies, is still very much a product of those values. She is very rarely, if at all, portrayed as a person on her own, without being defined by her connections to others–specifically the men around her. In the MCU, this was most obvious in her god-awful portrayal at Whedon's Age of Ultron. She was the classic damsel in distress: just another girlfriend/wife character whose express purpose was to be saved by a man, and be a platform with which to show HIS heroics. Worse, Widow explicitly called herself a "monster" during AoU when she was talking about, of all things, being sterilized.

Umm... what? She thought herself a "monster", not because she kills people in cold blood, topples world organizations, and threatens the peace of nations... but because she can't be a mom?

Yikes.

AoU was already a massive fall from grace for Black Widow, from whom we finally got to see some well-deserved badassery, and definitive lack of sexualization, with The Winter Soldier JUST ONE MOVIE AGO. But what's even worse was that this same trope was covertly exploited again in Endgame with–literally–Black Widow sacrificing herself because Hawkeye has a (dead) family.

It's like, hey girls! If you don't have a family of your own, then feel free to throw yourself off a cliff!

The MCU and its proliferation of male directors and producers never, ever knew what to do with Black Widow, so I imagine it was with a sigh of relief that they FINALLY got rid of her, the first chance they get. And if you think I'm making this up, guess again: Endgame writers themselves (Stephen McFeely, Christopher Markus) said, and I quote, "Her journey, in our minds, had come to an end if she could get the Avengers back."

That's it. That's the sum of Black Widow's character. She was always just a supporting role. She was never a plot. She was just another plot device. If her male colleagues can do their heroics, then her purpose for existing, in the writers' minds, has been served.

Never mind that Natasha Romanoff had the most character development in the entire franchise. Never mind that she was a direct support to 4 of 5 of the other Original Six, and was literally instrumental in making THEM into the heroes they were (Iron Man's recruitment, the Hulk's pathetic and flimsy lullaby, her partnerships with Hawkeye and Cap).

Maybe it might have been easier to take if she was as discarded as Hawkeye. But Black Widow didn't simply disappear in the mainstream storyline for periods of a time with a convenient explanation: she has always been at the center stage in one form or another. Always in conjunction with another character, sure, but THERE, regardless, which is more than we can say for Hawkeye, who really only appears (extensively) in Avengers movies.

But despite how central Black Widow actually is to the entire MCU, she still gets fridged at the first opportunity. Now that Marvel can safely say it has other females on the Avengers roster, they don’t hesitate to throw Widow under the bus (or off a cliff), and still manage to over-glorify and cloyingly romanticize female martyrdom at the expense of helping her male colleagues along. And she didn’t even get the send-off she deserved (hell, even Gamora had more drama around her death). They mourn her for all of 5 minutes, then she gets a passing mention in Tony’s funeral. Now a point can be argued that Iron Man is a public figure, he deserves a funeral, etc. etc., but think about the people who actually attended. None of them were outsiders. They were all, in one form or another, people in the Avengers immediate circle. There was no press. No cameras and grieving audiences ala Superman’s send-off in BvS. So why couldn't–didn't–they acknowledge Natasha Romanoff?

But it’s not over. Knowing full well that people will be angry at chucking off the MCU’s first real, if laughably flimsy, attempt at diversity, Endgame decides to soothe our ruffled feathers with, no surprise, fan service. The MCU may have killed off one of its most important female characters (both inside and outside the context of the cinematic universe), but fans can have 2 minutes of gIrL POwEr! Watch Captain Marvel zoom across an army of aliens (Where was she the whole time, by the way? Infinity War heavily implied a much important role for her, and they certainly touted her as the “strongest Marvel character” but she was completely useleess for 3/4s of the film… and barely on the last quarter), while the other sTRoNg ladies of the MCU have got her back!

Because 2 minutes is enough to compensate for a decade’s worth of callous disregard, of course.

And while those 2 minutes were certainly awesome and easily one of the highlights of the films, there’s no denying that it was all a blatant, pathetic attempt at pandering to a group Marvel never really much cared for. And those 2 minutes show you precisely what the MCU still is: a movie about boys, made by boys, for boys, who still don’t know how to handle women as people.

As amazing and kick-ass as those 2 minutes had been, they were an aberration in a longline of blatant disregard for female characters, and they could have easily been removed from the film because they contribute very, very little to the Infinity Saga’s narrative. McFeely and Marcus are even the first to admit: they only kept that scene in because it was “too fun”.

And just in case you think I’m just an angry, man-hating femi-nazi at this point, who only cares about fighting for women’s rights insofar as it puts me above men, look how Endgame also treated its male cast. Ant Man was nothing but a fussy, whiny, worrywart who couldn’t do the ONE thing that was supposed to be HIS thing: the quantum realm (guess who made that work? Iron Man!). Captain America was a selfish jerk who potentially messed up the entire MCU as we know it because he can’t get over his first crush (guess who was a selfless, self-sacrificing kid from New York? Iron Man!). The Hulk suddenly, miraculously lost the very essence of his character–his struggle between being Bruce and being the Hulk–with just a few punchlines about how he just decided to get the best of both worlds, as if he never could have possibly thought of that before, as if his struggles and demons never overwhelmed him so much to the point where he literally tried to kill himself (but guess, AGAIN, whose struggles and demons we DID see? Iron Man, of course you silly ninny!). Iron Man was given the VERY BEST of each of these characters, because duh, he’s Iron Man. Never mind that a SHARED cinematic universe wouldn’t have worked without other people to share it. Like the past three Avengers, Endgame is just another Iron Man movie.

Thank GOD he’s dead.

Finally, FINALLY Iron Man is gone. The overrated, over-powered Golden Boy will darken the Marvel Cinematic Universe no more, and we might finally get a film franchise that DOESN’T unflinchingly throw its characters under the bus for the chance to give its poster boy his 15 seconds of glory. Looking back at how Russos, and the production team behind Endgame, shamelessly claimed that Endgame is the story of Cap, Widow, and everyone who didn’t get their screen time on Infinity War, it is all the more irritating to watch 3 more hours of plot-armored Iron Man “saving the day”.

And that’s the tea for today.

PS: Can we talk about the fact how the ending with Cap literally ruined the entire movie (and universe) because of his messing with the timeline?

#Writing Samples #Movie Review #Review #Avengers Endgame #The Avengers #Marvel #Unbeta'd

1 note · View note

ybyg · 3 years

Text

久しぶりでしょうね？ Let's catch up.

I haven't been diligently studying Japanese due to... just life. Some unavoidable things happened and I had to live through the nightmare. It's all right now. I think. I'm here to update you about how miserable it's been trying to catch up with what I've missed and maybe talk about the time I spoke to JO1's Sho who can speak English and I wanted to make an effort to speak to him in Japanese but failed (without sounding like a twat who's showing off).

Continue reading under the cut.

Note: I barely edited it, so if it sounds out of place, or my Japanese sounds awkward... tough luck, I'm probably not going to edit it.

1. Wanikani update

レベル１０に入ってでした。正直は、まだレベル9ですね。This thing levels up as soon as you learn everything there is on the level you formerly in, without taking into account if you have complete at least a round of revision on the last thing that you've learned (they call it 'review' on WK).

The SRS thing is proven to be the best method to recall phrases and kanji. I'm paying for Wanikani (okay, the thing is good. I like it) and have Anki installed and haven't reviewed anything since I created my decks. But it works alright. I may have the worst memory/information-retaining brain and it might've taken me forever to recall what 予 is (it's beforehand, apparently), but I can still remember the ones I've learned the longest; basically from levels 1-4. (I'm learning 予 in the latest level, that is level 9. I'm still suffering turbulence here.)

I haven't seen my stats. Let's have a look, shall we?

I live by the words 'it could've been worse.'

My percentages used to be at least in the 90% across the board, but I just jumped straight into reviewing and clearing over 900 radicals, kanji, and vocabulary without revising, hence why I've done terribly and now it's bringing my stats down.

Radicals I can't believe I fucked up my radicals. They were supposed to be the easiest. I have no words.

If you need a single tip to start learning kanji, you can start by learning its components, and that is the radicals. It'd be easier for you to create stories for mnemonics. Other than that, try Heisig's Remembering the Kanji.

Kanji I am aware I could've done better at this, but kanji itself is just confusing. It's sometimes easy to predict some of the words, like ち that's used for earth or soil (地) and pond (池)--and not to mention the difference is just the radicals soil and tsunami--but I deduced that some aspects of nature fall under the ち umbrella.

And then there are devils like 他 and 地. Ugh. I'm going to leave it here.

Vocabulary

I know what the word 交じる stands for, and then you have 交わる which is thrown into the mix just to confuse me, and that just pisses me off every damn time.

I honestly know the meaning better than the pronunciation... which is dumb because if I were to speak in Japanese, I'm supposed to say the words majiru or majiwaru, not to be mixed or to intersect.

One thing about WK: you might understand the meaning differently. For example, they may offer the word substitution, but I would think of another word, replacement. Unless you input the word 'replacement' into the system, it would still be wrong in your reviews, and you're expected to remember substitution instead. And as an ESL, well, sometimes I'm just expected to drill the word substitution into my brain. I barely use the word daily anyway. So, you're expected to do extra work in order to learn, which is not a bad thing, but it can be annoying sometimes.

To recap, I don't do terribly despite not doing WK for a few months, but I could've done better. It's still in the okay territory, but I'll do my best to improve my reading skills and expand my lexicon.

What's next? I still have to clear up 92 lessons which include the level 9 that I've yet to cover and the entirety of level 10. On top of that, the tens and hundreds of reviews need to be cleared out daily... it's still going to be a rigorous routine when it comes to this one.

2. Grammar (and Reading)

In order not to spend my own money on learning materials, I persuaded my mum to get me みんなの日本語 (MNN); both workbook and notes for Level 1, and I chipped in with my Kinokuniya discount card. Yes, I am 26, but my finances haven't been the greatest as of late, so if anyone needs to hire a writer/social media manager, please send me a DM.

I digressed. Anyway, I've reached the 4th chapter, and it's been great so far! The workbook is completely in Japanese, and as someone who can read hiragana, and to some extent, katakana, it's definitely a great book that helps me improve my reading skills. I wish WK and MNN were at least streamlined because the kanji on WK has the tendency to be more scattered due to the complexity of certain kanji despite them being N5-N4 kanji.

[I edited out a paragraph on Kanji levels and complexities but would like to highlight the inconsistencies in the kanji levels that's shared on the Internet, including in WK. I suppose you will never find the one true answer as to which level does 傘 (umbrella) belongs to: is it N5 per stated in Jisho, or is it N1 as stated in WK? I guess you will never know...)

I prefer MNN over Genki as Genki explains points in English and annotates translation/furigana as bright as day underneath the Japanese texts. As a high-functioning English/romaji reader, my brain isn't doing the hard word; it's just reading the English and romaji. MNN forces me to read in Japanese and makes me translate the sentences on my own, so I am actively learning from the activity. Whilst it has a separate book that explains the chapters in English, I find it very helpful for me to immerse myself in Japanese then flip through the English version of the book just to see how well I understand the lesson. I would suggest Genki for absolute beginners and MNN for those who are in the lower-intermediate level.

I've been reading JO1's mails and articles related to them with varying degree of successes. The shorter ones are simpler and more manageable, but reading longer ones make me quit halfway. I should be reading more so it'd be easier for me to recognise the ones I've yet to learn and strengthening those I've learned.

3. Active learning (Speaking, Listening and Writing)

I've tried to speak in Japanese to myself, and it's mostly え、なんだろう今。。。、ヤッバ、マジ？、いいですね！、ほんまに？ and the latter being 'really?' in Kansai dialect (関西弁), thanks to half of the members of JO1. Since I'm learning 'textbook', formal Japanese, I'm still finding it extremely difficult to communicate in vernacular/colloquial Japanese. Not that I'm familiar with 敬語 (keigo/honorific language) either, just trying to fit the よ, ね, です, します, ません et cetera have racked my brain and I'm at the precipice of trying not to lose my mind. Perhaps, if I tried harder, I'd be able to use it comfortably. But for now, please let me suffer from my stupidity.

Since I wanted to 'try harder', I'm currently going through Making Out in Japanese (it sounds crude, but so far it's been very mild and helpful)

I haven't been writing in Japanese, which is horrible, because what's the use of reading when you can't write. I tried making my own flashcards which ended up taking too much time so I turned to digitalised SRS instead, which can be both annoying and unhelpful sometimes. I'm not a fan of learning through the screen as it takes too much space on the table and plays a part as my focus destroyer. But I can't complain as these devices do make things infinite times easier for me.

For the past couple of weeks, I've interacted with more Japanese JAMs (that's what JO1 decided to christen their fans) and have made the effort to type in Japanese, albeit broken Japanese. I employed my brain, Jisho and the untrusting Papago and Google Translate (the translation sites merely help me check if my sentences make any sense). I bet they're reading my tweets and messages thinking, 'What the fuck is this person on about?' Well, I don't know either.

And here comes the horrible part.

I won yonton (용통 in Korean, basically a video call) and had the chance to speak to the JO1's leader. Which is awesome, yes? I had a week to prepare and that particular week leading up to the event had given me multiple heart attacks. Some dramas happened, an interview happened... and I had only a few days left to prepare. Towards the end of the week, I decided I was going to do 自己紹介 (self-introduction) in Japanese. I know enough to say *キラです。クアラルンプール出身です。マレーシアJAM です, though that sounds super awkward. What I did on the day was the exact opposite.

Well, it's a known fact that the leader speaks English. Heck, it's an open secret that we know he went to a school that had an English department, whatever that means. As the owner of this brain who've spent approximately weeks and hundreds of hours on Japanese, I think know enough to say those words. But what did I do?

I spoke to him in English.

Of course, like everything, it takes a while to set in. That evening, it occurred to me that not only I had spoken to him in English, I also didn't let him speak. I didn't let him finish his sentence.

To be fair, it was only for 30 seconds. I don't need him to speak, and I wanted to, for once, assert my dominance. (The running joke here is that he plays the character of a freaking flirt, and as a lesbian whose compulsory heterosexual crush is him, I have the inclination to get the man to sit down and shut up for once. I guess I did?)

It's not me if there's no faux pas. Anyways...

Today's the 290th day since I started using WK, basically the beginning of my journey to relearn Japanese. Will I be able to communicate at least on a conversational level by the time I'm 30? We will see.

If you're reading this and needs recommendations on resources that are free, hit me up!

またね。

#qila learns nihongo

1 note · View note