#but the thing is. if that's what shannon says then she's wrong. not sorry about it

[bookwyrminspiration]

people keeping replying to my old alden pronunciation post so I'm going to turn it into a poll :)

Note: this is specifically about the AL part of his name. disregard how you pronounce the DEN when selecting your answer unless its vital. elaborate on it in the tags if you'd like, though

if we'd had polls then I would've used them, but I'm making up for it now.

[lover-of-mine]

I think you should know this tag broke my heart

You’re right, that is all he wanted, just to see her again and hear her voice. That’s what people say isn’t it, if I could just see them one last time, hear their voice, one last time….

It hurts they won’t deal with this like it should be dealt with.

💔

I'm sorry but I have so many feelings about this. Eddie literally watched Shannon die. He literally sat there as life drained out her body and he had to keep looking because he didn't want her to be scared as she went. Because she needed him to be strong in that situation because he knew it was hopeless. He's a medic, he knows what people don't come back from, so Eddie's last memory of Shannon will forever be her dying in front of his eyes. Then he stumbled into someone who looked exactly like her and he finally had the chance to see something else. And the way Kim also sounds like Shannon. The first thing you forget about someone is their voice. And Eddie somehow tripped into someone who looks and sounds exactly like someone he loved and watched die. He just wanted more time to look at Shannon. And everyone in this situation took advantage of his grief. He loved Shannon and he lost Shannon in the most cruel of ways and Eddie himself said he didn't want sex from Kim, he clearly just wanted more time with someone he loved and lost and Kim was the perfect echo of that. He just wanted the chance to see Shannon again and that's perfectly reasonable and anyone in his situation wouldn't be able to walk away from that window. His grief is so complex and no one involved has the capacity to understand how he was feeling and they decided to punish him for the most human of reactions. No matter how you look at their relationship, she was a huge part of her life and he loved her. And he misses her. He just wanted to look at Shannon one last time and not see her death. Instead he got whatever happened and I legit want to sit down and cry for him. They will never deal with this particular aspect because they probably think that changing the scene from a kiss to a hug takes away that aspect for Eddie, but everyone in his life still got the wrong impression of what happened (because they didn't bother editing the actual fallout) and my heart is breaking for him so bad. He just wanted a bit more time and lost everything over it and the people in his life think he willingly hooked up with her when Kim barged in and forced him to deal with feelings she had no right messing with. It's heartbreaking.

[decodedlvr]

the band-aid to my wounds

Older!Eddie Munson x naive!Fem reader - eventual twins Steve Harrington x reader x Kurt Kunckle series| pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 … TBC

Summary: After stumbling into an old barn after being stranded by your freshly new ex boyfriend, you wake up strangely in a room..that isn't yours..

warnings: talks of cheating, abuse, angst, slight stockholm syndrome at a glance, anxiety, childhood trauma, parent problems; daddy issues, eventual smut, cursing, drinking, smoking, perviness, slight dub-con, miscommunications, blood mention

word count: idk? 1k?

June 12th, 1988 the roads were closed off.

I have no idea why im still together with this asshole, why am i so stupid? oh because id do anything for people to love and not leave me. Looking at him now..hands beating the steering wheel, veins popping through his temples..not to mention his breath. Ashton my oh so loving, narcissist, no good boyfriend. We've been together for 6 years, basically high school sweethearts. Went from flirty glaces, to lab partners, to collage students with an alcohol addiction. Mainly his addiction...he got me started on it.

Ashton basically took me in with his fatherly like protectiveness when we first got together. He was walking me to my front door after a bowling date he asked me out to my sophomore year, of course i said yes.; until the front door opened. Uh oh, dads home; Bill. The moment the door opened i watched my father tackle Ashton to the ground without so much as a reason screaming words like "get off my property, boys like you should be dead in a gutter, ill kill you"...

Lets just say that date night was a bit too eventful for my liking.

My dad always had a problem with Ashton because he went to highschool with his father. Ashtons dad was a bully back in the day, made my dads life a living hell.. took everything away from him. the girl, the looks, the job..

Dave, Ashtons father, was caught making out with Shannon, my dads ex lover but also first love. Dave knew he had the upper hand when it came to getting the things he wanted. Hell, Shannon seduced him into it. Shannon was only with my dad for the money. Got knocked up but gave him the baby and ran away to be with his dad. As you can see I am that baby now today.

I made a promise to Ashton after sneaking him to my bedroom window that same night cleaning his wounds; that it was me and him against the world. He knew about me and my parents relationship. How my step-mother only has good things to say about me in a room full of people, but how she degrades me behind closed doors. How my dads drinking problem gave him alcohol poisoning, twice' and about his anger problems. You'd think being in a household that is always loud would help you shape up to loud sounds in the future. Boy was that theory proven wrong.

anytime someone yells or raises their tone, you're immediately in fight or flight response. tense..anxious. You hate going to basketball games just for that reason. Its uncomfortable.. and he knew that, but apparently in this moment, he didn't give a fuck-

"Did you hear me??" Ashton says impatiently. "No im sorry, i cant hear when you mumble.." you reply

you also hated when people uttered things under their breath.

dad does that shit.

"Don't be smart with me y/n, ill leave you right here,right now in the middle of the fucking road

"Yeah whatever Ashton, just stop talking to me and drive" feeling the breaks pull forward and in a flash he was out of the drivers seat, and already pulling you out of the passenger-

"WHAT THE FUCK" i yell- what the fuck are you doing Ashton?”

“Shut up!” he smacks me. Your eyes widen in more shock than fear over anything. “Did you j-just hit me?” i ask with a scratched voice--

“I told you more than once not to back talk me didnt i?”

“i didn’t.. it was once and i stopped ashton”-

-“You’ve done it all goddamn night, accusing me of cheating, clinging onto me when i ran into Tommy, i told you to give me some fucking space --i interrupt him.

“YOU did cheat on me you asshole!! That bitch was fucking bragging about it in the bathroom”—

“Do you really think after what 4 years-“6 actually“ i say pissing him off further. he looks at you angrily

He sighs. “Do you really think after years of being together, i would do that to you?” he say looking down at the ground sadly; making you instatly regret your words

“..no-no of course not i just thou”-

-“You thought wrong! he snaps-I would never do that to you baby..y/n?” he says letting go of the grip on my arms, caressing my cheek-“..I know you get a little confused sometimes, its okay come here” he says pulling you into a deep hug

“..im sorry ash”-

“shh” he coos.

“I really thought—what the fuck is that?” you shove him away

“Y-you piece of shit!!” you pull around back collar piece of his shirt up to his face; showing him the peach colored lipstick stain

“Are you fucking serious Ashton?” his eyes widen and stomach drops when he sees the prominent evidence of his past events—

“B-baby look-“

“No! fuck you were done!”

He grabs me closer, “No we fucking arent- ive gave you everything! he starts shouting making you flinch

P-please stop yelling at me! you plea tears rolling down your face

“Just—here” he opens the car door “just get back in and ill explain on the way”—

“No.” you shove past him running and crying

“Y/N come back here!. its too dark—

“ i dont care leave me alone!”

“Y/n theres crazy people out here..!”

you stop in your tracks, turning back to say- “You’re the crazy person!”

he laughs. “Oh im crazy? Ill show you fuckin crazy”—he says marching over to the drivers side of the car starting it back up—mumbling ill show you a fucking crazy person babe—and he spees off

you cant believe he actually just left you.. standing here.

“ASSHOLE!” you shout regulardess if hes still there or not, turning back around to walk down the cold empty road

are you fuckig kidding me?

wow he fooled me

how didnt i see this before

did he love me?

he says he does

then why did he leave me..

fucking jerk!!

The long 7 mile walk with a head full of shitty thoughts walk you to a sun burnt orange barn.

you're exhausted. your hearts broken. your feet hurt. its too dark to keep walking

"I mean i could crash here right?" you say already walking towards the musky building

hay bells, chickens, tools. looks already owned

you dont care you just need a place to rest you head for a bit.

stinks in here. muttering to yourself, opening and shutting the barn door behind you.

perfect you say spotting an old rocking chair..and yard sale signs?

does somebody live here?

you're too exhausted to think any more tonight

this'll do. taking your jacket off to use as a prop pillow, climbing into the chair almost immediately drifting off.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

whats that smell? smells like bacon?

bacon? your eyes are still shut but you can sense a different environment around you. Fluttering your eyes open.. a clock? pictures? what?-jumping up at the sound of a shoe

"WHO ARE YOU?" your already in flight or fight mode

"Whoa whoa its okay, im the owner of the barn i found you in”.

is he lying?

"YOU'RE LYING!" you look around in a panic

"Sweetheart if i was lying, how come i specifically found you in my rocking chair, you must of been tired, i got my buddy who also runs the farm to scoop you up and bring you to our guest bedroom, couldn't just leave a woman out in the open like that.. especially at night"

your stomach knots when he calls you sweetheart.

okay maybe he harmless, just very kindly harmless?

"Here" he throws his arm out, "I'm Eddie, Eddie Munson."

- - is this interesting so far? lmk- -

reblogs appreciated:>

[swans-chirping-in-the-distance]

YOU have a very interesting take on sokeefe. you don't just love every part of it- please elaborate, your tags on anti sokeefe posts are FASCINATING

THIS TOOK FOREVED IM SORRY ILYSM FOR THIS AHDJDLFKWNKDJF

I think one majorly important thing about sokeefe is that precious bond they have with each other. In fact, that's what makes me love the ship so much. It's truly stunning to see such a natural love built on years of trust and support. They clearly display so many different ways of loving, whether it be emotional, physical, mental, or verbal. The way that Shannon captured them is something I'm not sure I've seen anyone else do the same way.

Sophie ignores her feelings for Keefe for the majority of the series and writes it off due to insecurity. And Keefe knew that. Yet, instead of just telling her how she felt, he decided to let her decide how to act. To not rush her or pressure her. To let her make her own decision. He held himself back and let her be with his best friend without telling her, which many adults couldn't bring themselves to do. But he did it for HER. Because he loved her, whether he said it or not. How terrifying must it have been for Keefe to be so vulnerable as to fall for someone when that had made him hurt so much in the past? How terrifying must it have been for SOPHIE, who'd not let herself realize she fell until she was far too gone to come back from this unscathed?

The two are often very physical with each other, from the constant support of holding one another's hand to the gripping hugs late at night when their sobs are louder than their family's disappointment. Not only do they show how they feel about each other with touch, but also with general body language. The comfort of Keefe turning her head gently to look at him. The way they relax around each other, their facial expressions and their hands involuntarily grabbing the other's without a moment's notice. The display of casualty hidden within the deep depths of their relationship. They even manage to think about each other with the same sort of intensity, the determination to keep the other alive and the sheer desperation not to lose the other. They're reliant on each other's safety, not because their lives would be in danger without them, but because a huge part of their happiness would.

The two often joke around with each other, but they know when to stop. They know when it's time to get serious, to remind the other of how high they think of them and how much they care for them. How they'll always be at each other's side. Their words say "I love you" for them. And while they're in terribly traumatic situations and had such different backgrounds, they're the only ones who understand each other. They're absolute foils who were born to be enemies and fell for each other anyway. Their relationship is a beautiful one, but it's also one that's extremely fragile.

Sokeefe's relationship could go wrong in many ways. There are multiple paths towards a toxic relationship that would be really easy for their canon characters to fall into. For example, while for now they help each other stay brave and empathetic, their vulnerability towards each other makes them more prone to toxicity. They're both known for being reckless. How easy would it be to accidentally get the other to do something terrible? Would killing a random Neverseen member be self-defense? Would that really help anyone in the long run? They're traumatized kids forced to lead, like a malfunctioning toy released before it was fixed. They have no idea what they're doing if you really think about it. Who are they to advise the other?

Another issue I've noticed is one that's super minimal now but could become a huge issue. Sophie, being a relatable teen girl, likes apologies for things that hurt her, even if she knows it's technically not the other person's fault. She's not going around asking for apologies that aren't warranted, but she's accepting them. And that usually doesn't matter much, but it does with someone like KEEFE. Keefe, who blames himself for things that aren't his fault because it's all he knows. He feels so guilty for his and his family's existence that he takes it out on himself. And that could turn into a problem. Because a boy who apologizes for everything he didn't do doesn't fit well with a girl who accepts them. Sophie would never want Keefe to blame himself for things more, but she could inadvertently cause it with ease.

On top of all of that, they often struggle with looking at each other realistically and being truly reliable about the other. Keefe doesn't think Sophie's perfect; don't get me wrong. Part of the appeal of Keefe is that he sees her flaws and still loves her through them. But he also doesn't do much to help her fix said flaws. Perhaps it's out of his own insecurity in thinking he has no place to judge others because he believes he's worse, but my point stands nonetheless. And Sophie often forgives too easily, which lowers her own standards while also making sure Keefe can't grow from his mistakes because no one's acknowledging them. They seem to move too fast at times, and slowing down could really help. Get therapy and learn to bite the bad habits in the ass, in a way.

Another interesting aspect of their relationship are the parallels of their own to others. A loyal girl desperate to believe the man she loves is good, even when he keeps doing wrong? A girl who doesn't realize there's a difference between good and right until it's far too late? I think we all saw the ruedacted/ Lodestar sokeefe parallels. And if you took any koralie interaction and changed the names out? Sokeefe moment. It's just so easy for them to end tragically, but they're so desperate for it to work out. They're walking on the most delicate of ice for a chance that they can meet in the middle. They're running across a tightrope, hoping they don't fall to the ground. They're pulling at the web in hopes that they don't get stuck in its fabric, but they ALWAYS do. Sokeefe is a beautiful relationship built on trust and love, but trust and love don't always mean something is good for you. Their entire existence is truly a bittersweet delicacy only to be enjoyed by the most careful of takers.

[the-way-astray]

Ok just saw that your asks are open

Ik that you do not like Keefe (for valid reasons)

But here's something for you to analyze/think about

Not necessarily to change your mind about him bit if it does it does

Ok so

At the end of neverseen Keefe said "sometimes things have to get worse before they get better"

Yes he was referencing to him running away and for lodestat Yada Yada what have you

But I FULL heartedly believe that it was foreshadowing for the entirety of his chara arc throughout the series

Cause as of stellarlune he is at his lowest of lows

However you want to classify that us he's there

The way he treats his friends, his relationships with them, his mental state, ability state, common sense

All of it

And do I think it's gonna get worse than what it already is

YUP

But here's what that quote implies

It DOES get better

Never says when or how

But just that it does

I fully believe that after he gets past the roughest patch (whether that's him currently or even him in book 10) that he'll slowly start to realize how he's been and start trying to be better and get the help he needs

And tbh

I don't think it'll be anytime soon

I feel like he needs to have the (inevitable) argument with Sophie to finally realized it

Cause trust me as much as I ship sokeefe I really do believe they need to have an argument

Maybe even not speak for a book

But it'll be good for him in the end and hopefully he sees how he's been acting these last few books

Thoughts on this?

okay, sorry this took so long to get to. every time i try to answer it, it doesn't come out quite right. but here's my best shot.

i would agree with the idea of "sometimes things have to get worse before they get better" as an arc for keefe. that would be cool. and obviously, since at the time of this writing, the series is unfinished, there's always a possibility shannon could turn it around for herself. i've talked about this briefly in some post from a while ago, but there is a chance shannon will execute a flawless character arc for keefe in unraveled. is it likely? not really. but i wouldn't say it's impossible.

what makes me think this will not happen? in short: the fact that his flaws, the real flaws, not "cares too much about sophie" or "is too willing to self-sacrifice", have not once been villainized or called out as something seriously wrong in the series.

here's a list (referencing this post, where i list out all the things i dislike about keefe, there's more than just what i listed here, but these are the character flaws):

"i hate the way he manipulates, gaslights, extorts, and pressures sophie (and other people) into telling him shit they wouldn't ordinarily." this is never made out to be a bad thing. the person on the receiving end usually just grumbles something like "empaths", then after five seconds it's dropped. you don't see it affect keefe's relationships, you don't see people become uneasy around him, keep their distance from him because oh, that's the guy that's going to spill my secrets, it never feels like this affects keefe's relationships in any negative way. there is no long-term damage. it is completely swept under the rug, and it is never, ever seriously villainized. if shannon wanted to execute a "sometimes things have to get worse before they get better" type arc for keefe with regards to this flaw, she'd have to start by having it be a negative thing. then only can keefe work toward a better place. but shannon skipped that crucial step. so how can i assume that she's trying to develop keefe out of this, even if the development goes forwards and backwards and all over the place?

"i hate what a terrible friend he is." there are so many examples of this that i can't remember exactly what i was referencing when i wrote that. in any case, basically the same as what i said above applies. keefe needs to first be villainized for his toxic behavior if he's to grow out of it. take his comments toward fitz in the famous healing center scene, as an example. yes, the scene is told from keefe's perspective, meaning obviously he's not going to hold himself accountable. but maybe elwin steps in and reprimands keefe for what he said. maybe keefe detects sophie's anger toward him for the comments he made toward fitz. maybe he's even told off by fitz himself. there are a variety of ways to make it clear that this is not a good person to be. only then can keefe's journey even begin. if shannon is to do a "sometimes things have to get worse before they get better" type thing for keefe with regards to this, then things have to get worse for him. he needs to feel the consequences of his actions, which he never does.

"i hate the way he simultaneously pedestalizes and infantilizes sophie." once again, this is never made out to be a bad thing. if anything, keefe's pedestalization of sophie is meant to endear the audience to him. his infantilization is disguised as """"""witty"""""" jokes, so that is also probably supposed to make us like him. shannon actually managed to take keefe's toxic traits and sell them to the audience as good qualities. could be a masterclass in writing if she did something with this, but it's very clear she actually believes that these are good things. once again, if keefe is to develop out of these things and find a better place, even if he makes a few mistakes and "gets worse", so to speak, at various points along his character arc, that would still require his arc to actually like. begin. shannon hasn't even reached that part. so once again, how am i supposed to expect that she'll write any kind of arc with regards to this?

"i hate the way he's so jealous, so passive-aggressive, so toxic to his supposed friends." i've talked about this very, very briefly before, but i'm almost certain that we're supposed to see keefe as being "in the right" during the healing center scene, at least as the way shannon intended for it to be taken. one second . . . okay i found the post where i said it. here's what i said verbatim: "#i really feel like. shannon genuinely did not mean for him to come off so mean#she was definitely banking on the fact that everyone hates fitz#it's FITZ that's the one that's the butt of the mean joke by KEEFE so nobody will care! right? right guys? guys?#and honestly she's probably correct about that because most of the fandom DOES like keefe and hate fitz so like". now obviously i cannot be 100000000% sure, but from years of reading and rereading these books, i've become pretty confident that shannon genuinely wants us to perceive keefe as an otherwise-perfect angel whose only flaw is recklessness and his tendency to self-sacrifice. so those are the only flaws for which she writes a proper arc. and once again, if she wanted to write any sort of arc for him, even one that isn't perfectly linear, she would first have to start my acknowledging that keefe is the possessive, jealous, toxic friend here. but she doesn't.

"i hate the way sophie has to constantly babysit him because she doesn't know what stupid thing he'll do next and i hate the way he doesn't care about that, despite claiming he's doing half the things he does for her." this is the last one i'll mention in this post, promise. his stupidity is the flaw, by the way. i would say it's acknowledged. so congrats, shannon, you've reached the first step. better than i can say for the last four points. but that's where it ends. it's never developed from. keefe doesn't know how to work on a team and is incredibly stupid, something i ran into the ground while writing my rant. and come unlocked, 8.5 books into the series, he is still incredibly stupid and doesn't know how to work on a team. he consulted exactly zero people before running away to the forbidden cities, and while you could argue that it was ultimately his decision, i do think he should've at least gotten other people's opinions. this decision was so monumentally stupid, i cannot wrap my head around it. i'll talk about it more in my part two rant, but in my opinion, it's his stupidest move yet. now, what about the "sometimes things have to get worse before they get better" arc idea for this? doesn't this mean that this could just be a low he's hitting in his arc? well personally i'd say no. because he never reaches a point where he feels like he's working towards not hijacking plans because he wants to genuinely be better and stop. the famous nightfall scene comes to mind, and as i've mentioned before, the reason this, in my opinion, isn't indicative of his arc progressing is that he apologizes entirely out of a desire to appease sophie and win her back to his side, and not because he actually wants to change. so that doesn't count. in legacy, sophie thinks to herself that if she doesn't go with keefe to london, he will find a way to get there himself, once again showing that he has no desire to consider other people's opinions. sophie actually only agrees to go because she's scared of what stupid shit keefe will get into if she's not there to babysit him. she caves to his hijacking, instead of nipping it in the bud, the way she tried to in nightfall. so i'd say there isn't any spectacular moment before unlocked where keefe is getting better with regards to his hijacking plans because he thinks he knows better than everyone else.

okay, now that i've hopefully sufficiently proven that keefe's arc is not a "sometimes things have to get worse before they get better" arc, at least not in the way it's executed in canon, i'll move to the rest of your points:

"as of stellarlune he is at his lowest of lows/The way he treats his friends, his relationships with them, his mental state, ability state, common sense" (sorry for formatting this like the lyrics of a freaking song, but i wanted it all in one paragraph lmfao.)

i disagree with this. i actually think his arc is looking up, with regards to his flaws, at least, in stellarlune. he seems like, to put it very, very bluntly, a morally better person. like he did some thinking in the forbidden cities and decided to get his shit together. this is why i say that i have to read unraveled before making my mind up about whether keefe's arc truly sucks or not. because if shannon has him acknowledge all the things i mentioned and make an effort to be better for himself, because he wants to be, then i can see how i could be swayed to the "keefe has a good arc" side. i do still think the chances of this are incredibly slim, though.

i would tentatively say the way he treats his friends is better in stellarlune. he certainly seems like he mellowed out a bit. he also only has like a couple hundred pages of that book to himself, and even less to showing what he's truly thinking on the inside, so it's difficult to tell for sure. his ability state and mental state are as shit as ever, agreed. but i'm not really talking about that? i'm talking about his arc and the flaws that i dislike about him, that i believe should be developed or at least called out for him to be a decent character.

"And do I think it's gonna get worse than what it already is"

same, but i think that low will be hit in unraveled. i think what we're seeing in stellarlune is actually him getting better from some major low he must've hit in unraveled. but once again, none of this has anything to do with why i dislike keefe. i dislike him because his flaws are never acknowledged or developed out of as the series progesses.

"I fully believe that after he gets past the roughest patch (whether that's him currently or even him in book 10) that he'll slowly start to realize how he's been and start trying to be better and get the help he needs"

one thing that i absolutely despise when it comes to writing character arcs is when like 90% of the development happens in the last like 10% of the series. it always feels incredibly rushed and incredibly forced, and it can be done well almost never. it's my opinion that arcs, and all the major progress and setbacks, need to happen evenly throughout the series so that you really feel like the character at the 25% mark is a different character than the one at the 75% mark, with regards to the thing being developed. i don't see that with keefe. he's a toxic friend in everblaze, he's a toxic friend in legacy. he's stupid in everblaze, he's stupid in legacy. he's manipulative in everblaze, he's manipulative in legacy. there hasn't even been a realization on his part.

having said all that, i do think there is a way to write his arc in unraveled that could at least make me tolerate him. and i do agree that there's a slim possibility that shannon could magically decide to develop him in book ten. but also keep in mind that book ten or book eleven is the last book. so there's a strong possibility that i'll still consider it too little, too late. but they are future books. i'll have thoughts when they come out for sure, but for now it's hard to tell what i'll feel about them.

"I feel like he needs to have the (inevitable) argument with Sophie to finally realized it/Cause trust me as much as I ship sokeefe I really do believe they need to have an argument/Maybe even not speak for a book/But it'll be good for him in the end and hopefully he sees how he's been acting these last few books"

i agree. i've actually talked about this briefly in my keefe rant, except i've talked about how i wanted them to fight in nightfall, not in book ten. here's that part, copy-pasted verbatim:

“Sometimes I still worry that some tiny part of her holds it against me. That she’ll never fully trust me. That she’ll always see me as the guy who betrayed her and stole from her and ran off with the enemy.” (Unlocked, Keefe's diary entries, 494) This would be really cool to explore if it was actually done. Sophie holding this against Keefe and struggling with that in the aftermath of Lodestar would be an awesome way to develop their relationship and have them overcome that hurdle and give them both some much needed development. But we know that aside from a single line at the beginning of Nightfall, Sophie never really blames Keefe. She just immediately forgives him for his time with the Neverseen. It’s pathetic writing. Something like that should have consequences. But it doesn’t, because then our poor Keefe will have to be *gasp* villainized. There could be this whole arc about how Sophie doesn’t trust Keefe the same and it impacts their relationship subtly and both of them feel it but don’t want to talk about it and it’s this giant, gaping hole. Then finally there’s a climax where Keefe confronts her about it and maybe she yells at him and he agrees that he’ll do anything to get her trust back. Then he does it. He does the smart thing, takes the smart advice. And he learns. He understands what he did was wrong and is truly a different person now. Honestly, the fact that Shannon explained this out shows me that she’s aware the possibility of this arc exists, but unfortunately, didn’t actually put it into action. Would it have been the most original conflict ever? No. But it would’ve been much better than whatever this dumpster fire of a lack of an arc she actually wrote is. I think I might’ve genuinely enjoyed Sophie and Keefe as a couple if she’d just made them have some distrust that they overcome through genuine work and growth.

anyway, if i didn't answer your question the way you wanted, feel free to shoot me a follow-up ask. i think i got it, but if i misinterpreted, tell me.

tldr: the reason i don't buy keefe's arc as a "sometimes things have to get worse before they get better" kind of arc is because that would require keefe's flaws to actually be acknowledged and villainized by the narrative, and for them to have actual consequences that affect him, which they do not. this leads me to believe shannon doesn't see these things as flaws, and therefore will never give keefe the development he needs to have a good arc.

[spotsandsocks]

Inspiration Saturday 🐎

Going first this Saturday cos I’m feeling this one.

Highwayman fever has hit me … was already leaning that way and then I’ve started watching Renegade Nell (first 2 episodes so far) and I’m enjoying myself immensely. Ideas percolate. Madney and Buddie themes afoot and probably more fire family. I do tend to go overboard with an au and plot so bear with me…

It’s the tone of the cough that warns him exactly what Chim is going to ask. Eddie gives his answer in anticipation of the inevitable.

“I told you last time, no more.” He bangs the hammer down on the anvil for emphasis.

“You know I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t have to.”

Eddie sighs and wipes the sweat off his forehead without looking at his friend. “I have to think about Chris now.”

It’s the truth, now he’s on his own with Christopher he can’t be reckless with his own life anymore.

“We’ve been planning this one for so long but Bobby’s arm means…”

He trails off, Eddie knows very well what Bobby’s newly broken arm means. It means either Chim will go on his own or Bobby will ride with him regardless because there are people who depend on the money they bring in through unconventional means and neither of them will let those people down. Unless….

“Chim…” his regret is clear, it’s not that he doesn’t want to help, it’s just complicated now, before if anything went wrong Chris had Shannon, now she’s gone it’s just the two of them. Not that Bobby or Athena wouldn’t take him in, or Hen and Karen obviously but they all lead dangerous lives and he can’t anymore. Chim understands

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked but you know I can’t let Bobby come tonight so if anything goes wrong, you know where all my things are right? Give them to Hen, she’ll know what to do.”

“Chim just don’t go. It can wait.”

“It can’t, Hen’s got to fence the goods and we can’t change the date for that meeting. Also Lady Kendall’s carriage is traveling tonight. We have the plan. I’m going.”

Eddie sighs. “Fine, I’ll come, but this is the last time.” He holds up a finger in warning. “I mean it this time.”

Chim grins and rubs his hands together . “ you won’t regret it, this one will be easy, I can feel it.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and returns his metal to the forge.

He hopes so but either way it seems that tonight the Darling brothers will ride one more time even if their Captain won’t be joining them.

loveyourownsmiilee @monsterrae1 @shortsighted-owl @the-likesofus @hoodie-buck @loserdiaz @buddierights @fiona-fififi @rogerzsteven @bekkachaos @jobairdxx @thekristen999 @ronordmann @hippolotamus @spaceprincessem @disasterbuckdiaz @underwater-ninja-13 @wildlife4life @wikiangela @stagefoureddiediaz @thewolvesof1998 @exhuastedpigeon @weewootruck @giddyupbuck @honestlydarkprincess @pirrusstuff @elvensorceress @jesuisici33 @eddiebabygirldiaz @daffi-990 @diazsdimples @steadfastsaturnsrings @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @rainbow-nerdss @lover-of-mine @tizniz @fortheloveofbuddie @actualalligator @watchyourbuck @loveyouanyway @say-bi-for-me

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼 (yes I did twice)

YEAH! More BuddieShannon! 129 sentences:

---

“Eddie, come on. I thought we were trying to be better about talking through our crap.”

“This isn’t our crap, though, Shannon!” He protests. “My stupid sexuality crisis is my crap!”

Shannon’s eyes widen. It takes his brain a moment to realize what his traitorous mouth has said. Fuck. 

“Oh,” Shannon replies. “So it’s not, like… A kink thing?”

Somehow, that question serves to make this even more embarrassing. 

“What? God! No!”

“O-okay,” Shannon stammers. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I just didn’t know this about you.”

Eddie sighs, deflating. 

“Yeah… Neither did I.”

Shannon scooches a little closer to him. She moves her hand from his wrist to his shoulder. 

“Eddie, there’s nothing wrong with it,” she says. “You know that, right? It’s okay to be attracted to him.”

Something stirs in Eddie at this. Like a wilting plant dragging itself towards a light source. But he shakes that away. 

“That’s not true,” he replies. 

“Why isn’t it true?” Shannon asks. “You’ve never cared about that kind of thing before.”

“For other people,” Eddie agrees. “But I’m not… That’s not how it’s supposed to be for me. I’ve never loved anyone but you. I’ve never wanted anyone but you.”

Her lips part a little. 

“You love him?” She asks. 

He freezes again. Fuck. He needs to stop talking. 

“Of course you do,” she says. “I mean, how could you not?” 

Right. Because she’s into him, too. Jesus Christ. What a pair they make. 

“I love you, Shannon,” Eddie replies. Firm. Unflinching. Because no matter what else is going on in his brain, and in his horrible heart, that is still true. 

“I don’t…” She frowns, struggling to choose her next words. “Eddie, one doesn’t make the other not true.”

He furrows his eyebrows. “But isn’t that fucked up? That’s wrong. That’s… It’s like emotional infidelity.” 

“It’s not,” Shannon replies. “We’re separated.”

“Well, that wasn’t my choice.”

She sighs. 

Right. Probably not a great point to focus on right now. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles. 

“Even if we weren’t, Eddie… It’s not bad,” Shannon says. “I mean, there would still be nothing wrong with you.”

“How can you possibly say that?” Eddie asks. 

Shannon bites her lip for a moment. 

“Eddie, are you upset that you’re attracted to a man or in love with two people at the same time?” 

“Both!” He bursts. “Those are both things I am not supposed to be.”

She sighs again. He wishes she’d stop sighing.

 “According to who?”

Eddie’s mouth snaps shut. He doesn’t know how to answer that question. According to who indeed? 

“Your parents,” Shannon says. “The church they made you go to?”

The one they had to get married in.

Eddie nods sheepishly. “Yeah. I guess that’s it.”

“And if Chris has this same question about himself in fifteen years? What will you say?” 

“Don’t go there, Shannon.” Eddie feels a rise of frustration in his chest. “You know what I’d say.”

“Yeah, I do,” she agrees. “Say it for me anyway, Eddie.”

Eddie groans. “I obviously don’t care who, if anyone, our children fall in love with one day, Shannon. As long as they’re happy and safe, I don’t care.”

“But that doesn’t apply to you?” Shannon asks. 

“Shannon…” Eddie complains.

“No, Eddie, come on,” she presses. “Why do Chris and-and this baby get the freedom of your values, but you get the restriction of your father’s? That’s ridiculous. You know it’s not bad or wrong. You know that.”

He knows. He does know. He… He just can’t.

“They get to be whoever they want, Shannon.” Eddie tells her.

“And you don’t?” 

No! No. Doesn’t she see that? He has never got to be anyone at all. What he wants doesn’t even exist. He’s never been able to explore that. He is no more than this. This automaton on a set path. He doesn’t know how to be anyone else. 

“No,” he replies. “I don’t.”

[nyaagolor]

Umineko Episode 5 Theory Crafting

This episode has more or less been an exploration of HOW to solve the mystery, and while I really appreciate all the help Ryukishi is giving me it doesn't make sense to repeat the actual text of the story and call it a theory, so I'll just be combining all my theories about the wider mystery for this one, in no particular order:

Battler's sin is making a promise / confession to Shannon and then bailing for the next six years. She's heartbroken by him, and that directly or indirectly led to the massacre. Normally I wouldn't suggest mass murder over a lame man, but considering Battler's rejection had her getting together with George I think I can make an exception. She's justified

Speaking of Shannon, I think she's the culprit for all the unsolvable murders, or at least involved with them somehow. "But she was confirmed dead!!" True but that was only as Shannon, I can see her using "Sayo" as a loophole. Shannon can die metaphorically speaking and Sayo can still be kicking it and shooting people, as she deserves. This also could apply to Kanon, especially regarding the second twilight in Episode 2

I have a feeling Rosa is involved in at least some of the Episode 2 deaths and Eva I'm pretty sure is confirmed to have played a part in the Episode 3 ones, but Natsuhi isn't a culprit in Episode 1. I have no proof but I love her. Overall, I think Shannon takes more of a "mastermind" role, since just about everyone else can be bribed into being a culprit or accomplice

Bc of the above, I think both Battler and Beatrice are right-- since the witches / furniture seem to be a magical extrapolation of things in the real world (Chiester sisters are the forest animal band, Virgilia is Kumasawa, Ronove is Genji, etc) I think Beatrice is Shannon's magical counterpart. Beatrice IS the culprit like she's been claiming, since Beatrice is a proxy for Shannon, but technically there's always been a human culprit

The "accident" that wiped out the family mentioned in Episode 3 is an earthquake. I don't have proof I just can't think of anything else and the irony would be really funny. I have a feeling Battler's fear of falling is related to this part of the narrative but I don't know how

The seven stakes are supposed to represent guns. The reason they got driven so deep is bc the deaths were never stabbing, just guns. bang bang.

There's smth fishy about the whole Missing Child (tm) thing from Episode 5. The idea that Kinzo just. Gave her a child? without Krauss there??? and then covered the whole thing up before he got back???????? It's giving a lot of He Would Not Fucking Say That and I don't think that's exactly what happened. I do think Natsuhi committed infanticide though. sorry bestie

Magic isn't "real" in the traditional sense but I do think there's gonna be a moral about how alternate truths and white lies are their own kind of magic and it's wrong to destroy that

Erika is going to have a full blown breakdown in Chapter 6 and I cannot WAIT

Ok that's all I can think of rn, might add stuff to this later!

[kyoteugly]

All that we see or seem

Eddie is going on dates with Kim. They talk a lot. In a restaurant, in a park, long walks by the beach at night. She is not Shannon but he feels like he's with her. She doesn't finish his sentences, she just knows what he is going to say before he says it. She knows him. He can trust her. 

At some point Eddie invites Kim to his place. There are pictures of him and Shannon there, but he didn't hide them, didn't cover them. Kim doesn't pay attention to any of them, and Eddie doesn't notice this. Because it's somehow natural. He can trust her. She knows even though he never mentioned Shannon.

It's natural, it feels right, she's where she's supposed to be... by his side... alive...

She is sitting by the table, Eddie walks to the kitchen to make her coffee and there is Shannon, reminding him how to make her favourite coffee. They laugh because of course he remembers. He gets back to the living room and Shannon is there too. She has blonde hair but it still feels natural. And there somewhere in the background Eddie sees a christmas tree and Shannon is there, a bit younger with bright blonde hair... That's strange, but he's too happy to care... The one sitting next to him talks about Chris... Did he mention Chris to her? But she's Shannon, her hair now dark, matching the color of the coffee... She starts the sentence, the other Shannon finishes it. Their outfits are now the same, their hair color changes every time he changes the one he's focusing on. But it's ok, they just need to catch up... it will all make sense in a moment...

...because they know him, they know everything about him, he doesn't have to say anything, they talk to him... She's finally talking to him... her voice is clear and loud, not like in his dreams... it's real... wherever he looks Shannon is right in front of him... real, alive, almost in his reach...

Time is passing, they talk, they laugh, they argue... he said the wrong thing again, she's disappointed, she's mad, she's sad, she's hurt... every single of her emotions is talking to him at once... and all of them are saying it's his fault... 

He needs to move but his legs won't listen, he loses his ground, falling, drowning... he's on the floor, scrambling away as Shannon after Shannon merges above him in one image that is glitching and blurring... and every time he says he's sorry her shape becomes sharp... and every time he admits to a failure her voice became clear... and he just wants to see her and hear her... because she's here... by his side... he can trust her...

Few hours later Buck finds Eddie sitting in the corner of the room, tugging his own hair, staring at the empty space in front of him. His mouth is moving but Buck needs to come closer to hear faint raspy "sorry","fault" and "Shannon". He kneels in front of Eddie, he wants to break this damn matra but he's afraid to touch him. 

He speaks with a gentle voice "Eddie? Eddie it's me... can you look at me? Eddie please, just look at me..."

The shape is glitching again, the voice is disturbed by distant yet familiar sound. He trusts her, but he can't trust himself anymore. Eddie begs her to not leave him, he cries for her. His voice doesn't sound like his anymore. He's saying she's dead, she's not real. Why would he say that when he can feel the warmth of her skin around his wrist... when he can feel...

Buck's heart sinks when he hears Eddie's howling pleas.

"Eddie... Shannon is dead, she's not here... it's not real... Eddie please..."

Buck grabs him by the wrist and pulls Eddie's hand to his chest. "This is real. This..." He unbuttons his shirt so Eddie can feel his heartbeat "Can you feel this? This is real. Eddie!" Buck places a hand on the side of Eddie's face "Eddie please... snap out of it... just... just look at me... come back..."

He can feel the warmth under his palm. For a moment, a minutes or seconds, there is nothing more... but then he feels it... a heartbeat... He knows this heart, he trusts it...

The shape of Shannon melts into dark blonde hair. The blue eyes are looking at him. He trusts those eyes.

"Buck?"

—----------

I felt inspired by s7x07

I have this theory that Kim is not real, she’s only in Eddie’s head (I shared this already).

I mean the first time he sees her she is real (probably - credits to Jimmy for this one), but the interactions where he talks to her (he’s wearing black) are happening in his head. Their meetings are strange, eerie… There is something dangerous about her… and the main thing - only Eddie actually interacts with her.

I’m probably wrong but I have fun with this theory so… this above is just a short story of how I see Eddie losing his mind and Buck bringing him back to reality.

Also posted on AO3

[capseycartwright]

fuck it friday because fuck it, it’s friday, and i actually wrote something today! 

Buck gave him a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry Eddie,” he offered. “But it sounds like you did the right thing.”

“Probably,” Eddie sighed. “I just – I just wanted this to be it, you know? I wanted the search to be over, selfishly. I just – I wanted that magic, I had with Shannon, the meet-cute and the falling head over heels in love, and I would be sitting with Marisol, and everything would just be – fine.”

Buck was uncharacteristically quiet.

“What? There’s something you’re not saying to me,” Eddie’s brow furrowed. “Go on. Say it.”

“Don’t be mad at me.”

“I won’t be.”

“You already sound mad.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Just, say it, Buck.”  

Buck shifted in his chair, reaching for a beer before he spoke – liquid courage, Eddie assumed. “Do you ever think that maybe you’re looking for something that doesn’t really exist? I know – I know what you and Shannon had was really special, Eddie, and maybe you’re looking back on it with like – rose tinted glasses. You know? Maybe – maybe fine is a good starting place, and you’re not going to find anything better than fine if you keep running away because things are just fine, and you think that’s not enough.”

His best friend said it all in a rush and looked at Eddie a bit wide-eyed as he finished, his chest heaving. It sounded like Buck had been keeping that one in for a while.

Eddie inclined his head slightly. “I don’t think I’m wrong for wanting more than fine,” he countered. “Isn’t love supposed to be so much more than that?”

“I – I don’t know.”

“How does Natalia make you feel?”

Buck looked a little flustered. “She’s – she’s nice,” he began, hesitating for a second. “She’s beautiful. She listens to me, and I feel like I can be myself around her,” he looked at Eddie, brow furrowing. “What’s that look on your face supposed to mean?”

“Ask me how Shannon made me feel.”

Buck didn’t look happy about it, but he asked. “How did Shannon make me feel?”

Eddie’s eyes closed for a second, lost in a hazy memory of Shannon. “Like I could do anything,” he hummed. “She made me feel like I mattered, and she made me feel like I could take on the world and bring it back to her. She – she made me feel crazy, half the time,” he admitted, a tiny laugh escaping his throat. “But I’d rather feel crazy than feel nothing at all.”

“I don’t feel nothing with Natalia.”

“I didn’t say you did,” Eddie inclined his head slightly. “You jumped to that conclusion all by yourself.”

tagging @clusterbuck @hattalove @thatbuddie @mellaithwen @enchantedbuckley @buckactuallys @leothil @dearestdiaz @fcntasmas @buttercupbuck @kitkatpancakestack @like-the-rest-of-la @littlespoonevan @elvensorceress and anyone else who wants to!

[onewholivesinloops]

thinking of how in ep2 beato berates shannon about how inherently sexual and twisted men and their idea of romance are, because in her mind the only thing men truly care about is having their way with women’s bodies and nothing else, which becomes so much more tragic when you realize that this is yasu’s internal conflict after realizing what happened to her mother and how the people who raised her were complicit in this abuse by hiding it, and the way this episode is yasu framing shannon as the ‘tragic romance heroine’ who’s led astray by the witch within her heart. tatariakashi.

satoko frames her human self as the ‘pitiful princess’ who’s rescued by the village from her abusive uncle and the witch self - the one who represents the parts of her that make her the unfitting survivor, the ‘bad’ victim - is the one who ruins all of this in much of the same way beato does for shannon.

also the part where shannon is using a shield to protect herself and george as beato insults her idea of romance, and shannon confesses her feelings for george and right before he gets the chance to say it back, beato slaughters them both. also tatariakashi. satoko being killed by her witch self right after confessing her feelings for rika.

girls who are bitter about love. girls who are deeply cynical about love. girls with so much spite towards idealized romance and the damsel in distress archetype.

satoko and the desperate desire to be with rika but being faced with the cruel reality that two young women can’t be together this way, bringing back all of her anxieties about marriage from her childhood, because marriage and the expectations of womanhood are things she finds terrifying as misogyny and the nuclear family are a huge part of the abuse she suffered growing up and she’s queer on top of this, so marriage is like a chain tightening around her neck as she gets older vs yasu who very much idealizes the idea of marriage and a prince on a white horse sweeping in to save her from her miserable life and the cage she feels like she’s been locked within, yet feels trapped within those expectations imposed on women all the same, because women who can’t give birth are seen as worthless so yasu can’t give george the family he wants due to her body which makes her feel like something is fundamentally wrong with her.

sorry but tatariakashi and turn of the golden witch are so peak.

[lemotmo]

911 episode 7x09

Okay, I watched it.

I'm in pain. I can't stop sobbing.

What the F!?

THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!! The drama!!!!

All right, so let's see. Here are my thoughts in no particular order:

Bobby. Do not kill Bobby, I swear! If they kill him I will riot.

Athena asking Amir to talk to Bobby was such a bad idea. For all that this woman knows how to read body language, she should also understand that Amir lost everything because of Bobby. You can't ask a man who lost so much to talk to the man who caused it. He may be forgiving, but there's a limit to what a person can take.

Did Amir set the fire? I wonder. They made it seem like that, for sure. But I'm not sure if he really caused it. I hope not.

Also, that sequence with the song and Bobby going around, talking to everyone? Sobbing mess I tell you. But Bobby, giving Eddie a Bible? What are you thinking? The man is already a vat of Catholic guilt as it is. He doesn't need the Bible. He needs therapy. Give him Frank's telephone number. I think he has lost it.

Henren and Mara. Man, that Ortiz woman is brutal. But once again, just like with Amir, she is acting out of pain. We, as the audience, know that you can't just ruin the life of a young girl like that. But this woman lost her son and she's obviously filled with pain and anger and it's all pointed at Hen. What she is doing is wrong, but from her point of view it is the right thing to do.

Poor Mara though. And Denny hitting that guy. I'm just... no. Get that girl back to them Tim! I swear!

Eddie. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie... my love, what are you doing? This is soooo weird. At least he hasn't kissed her. That's something.

Buck meeting Kim was perfect. Once again Eddie and Buck's storylines collide. I loved their talk in the kitchen. That kitchen has seen some interesting Buddie stuff. I like how Buck expressed his concern and how Eddie admits that he is worried about his own sanity as well. He knows that what he is doing is wrong, but he doesn't know how to stop it.

I love how Buck talking to him and Kim showing up at the fire station, moved Eddie into gear to talk to Kim and tell her the truth. I'm so happy that he told her, because I was afraid she would find out in some other way and that would have been so much worse.

But what on Earth is Kim doing? I'm sorry, but that is some level of batshit insane. She is dressing and acting like Shannon to help Eddie release his emotions? That is so wrong and so weird. I would be out of there forever if I was in that situation. For a minute I thought he was dreaming and then they started talking. I'm glad it doesn't seem to be anything romantic or sexual though. It was literally a conversation to 'help' him move on.

Well, at least Eddie got to say what he needed to say to 'Shannon'. If this level of batshit insanity is what he needs to push the refresh button, then sure... why not?

And then of course Marisol and Chris walk in on them. The plot only thickens.

Poor Chris. This isn't going to end well. Hasn't that boy been through enough? He might just end up living with Eddie's parents for the Summer after all. Not in a 'We're taking that boy away from you' type of way. But more a 'The man needs some time to sort out his shit' type of way.

Marisol is bones, because no way she'll stick around. I don't know what Kim was doing, but she obviously has to go too. This isn't a way to live for Eddie. He needs to move on from Shannon.

Captain Gerrard being there? Oh, they are definitely going to make him the new Captain of the 118 in the finale. I can smell it. The firefam will be seperated for sure. Scattered accross different houses. Chim might be the only one left behind at the 118, having to deal with Gerrard again.

That's why Eddie will feel isolated. He'll be alone, no Chris, no firefam, no Buck to lean on because they'll have different shifts and hours. So they'll see less of each other.

As for Buck and Tommy? I'm not sure what to say here. They were kind of a non-issue in this episode. I think it's clear at this point that Tommy is a narrative foil and not some kind of great love for Buck. He is just there when he needs to be in Buck's storyline. Bobby telling Buck that Tommy is good for him harkens back to Abby as well, how he told him to step into it with Abby. Look how that ended. Not just that, it's the way it was just a throw-away line. He was trying to say goodbye and make amends, leave them all in a good place. And from what Bobby has seen so far, Tommy seems to be a good guy. It wasn't even as deep as the Abby talk and Buck didn't really care one way or the other.

Buck basically started the season in the locker room telling Eddie he had broken up with Nathalia and was single again. Now he's in the locker room in the penultimate episode and he's in a relationship again. Waaay too soon once again. He rolled into another relationship without having to make too much of an effort. Another person he met on a call, a firefighter sure, but they still met on a call. That hamster wheel keeps on turning. When will it end?

RIP to the Buck in the locker room sunset scene though. We had some great Buddie speculations for that, but alas it was just a capture that Tim liked because it looked artsy. So he posted it.

Buck and Eddie were in each other's orbit so much during this episode. They showed them cooking together, playing pool together, the kitchen scene... Eddie needs to work through a lot of shit and Buck is navigating his new relationship, but ultimately? I'm sorry, but they all but hung up a great big neon-sign that said: 'ALL OF THIS IS SOME DAY LEADING TO BUDDIE. BE PATIENT!'

Also, Lou said he isn't even in 7x10 right? If that is true... yeah, they aren't going to last long. How funny would it be if they gave BT the Bucktalia break up during hiatus?

Conclusion: What a great episode. I loved it all. They made weird choices this season though. The Shannon look-a-like is telenovella kinds of drama. But I'll take it in stride if it means it will help Eddie to move on. Bobby? Oh Bobby... I hope this scare with his own mortality will make him realise how much he needs to live for himself and his family. Henren just can't catch a break, can they? Give that child to them please! Do it next week too! I cannot wait months to see how this ends. I need that child to be happy with the Wilsons. The only people thriving right now are Madney. Good for them.

[ggren-mainz]

Umineko - question arcs playthrough -> ep 2 - 2

last part - All parts and episodes - next part

To be honest i am genuinely so curious over what's Ryukishi's religion, or if he has any at all. Because both of his works include lots of Christianity references, and while in Higurashi it was more sparse here it's way more obvious. So I'm really curious if he is actually Christian or if he's just very into the religion/thinks the imagery works better.

My point exactly. They're talking about how Shannon and George got separate rooms when they went to their trip, and Jessica was outraged. Like unless I'm wrong, this is purely a Christian idea, especially with the wording and all that. Very intrigued.

Anyways Jessica has a little moment of sadness related to how she apparently cant get a bf and also wishes to fall in love. Which to my knowledge she did already fall in love with Kanon.

Later Beatrice shows herself to Shannon and they start talking about her gift of love. Shannon acts nicely with Beato and she starts opening up a bit.

this one seems interesting, because it does tie into the Ghost beatrice theory, or maybe just dead beatrice theory i had at one point.

She continues by saying that only her and Kanon have the magical affinity to see her, and that Krauss and Natsuhi have none and cannot sense her at all. But also

as sillly as this is, it makes me think, is this one of the reasons for Natsuhi's headaches? She doesn't see or feel them, but yet some magical being (not necessarily Beatrice) hits her head and her headache gets worse.

This is...interesting. So this implies that Beatrice existed at one point, or something big happened for him to see her.

oookay well doesn't disprove my earlier idea because he got into magic after meeting her. But also, what type of magic did he do? What does this actually mean?

oookaaay i was wrong sorry, well still interesting. What does she mean by luck ran out? What did Kinzo do? I do not trust that man. Perhaps i shoud read more and talk less though lol.

Krauss the type of guy to say "a smile would be good".

manner of our birth?? Bitch did a drawer birth you??? Kanon you're so not #woke, nowadays furniture can also become human *rolls eyes*. You too can become a real boy Kanon!

Also, you know what takes up too much of my mind? One out of context spoiler i saw, which said that in the answers arc there will be a trans girl. AGHHH I NEED TO READ THAGT WHO IS IT UGHHH.

For context this is haunting my mind recently because i remembered about the trans girl Battler fic and i need to read it, i need it, i need it pumped in my blood stream its ughhhhhh.... yeah I'm normal.

I wonder what happened to give him such an inferiority complex. Also i was thinking, but do any other servants say this? Gohda and kumasawa definitely no but i think Genji does. Is it like a requirement to get the one winged eagle? You have to pander to Kinzo's weird fetish? Or what? I assume they raised these kids in the orphanage like this so yeah. Wtf.

Is this how Jessica falls in love with Kanon?? Because he has the brooch??

what does this mean what does this mean??? What can't be seen, whose love?? Kinzo's love towards her? Towards someone else? Why is the seen in ' ', while in jp it isn't???

I love you ryukishi but this face sucks ass. Why are the eyes so up?? Why does only she have this issue?

Shannon is teasing Jessica about her obvious crush on Kanon. The idea is for her to pretend that Kanon is her bf and take him to the school's cultural festival. Also more atrocious Jessica faces (a bit more bearable this time tho)

Taking the big jacket to make sure he looks even smaller in comparison.

Song and reference so cool, my laptop crashed again.

I do not get why it keeps crashing, like ffs it's a vn, its like the easiest thing to run ever.

this is getting too meta!!

hmmm i have a feeling this whole creating a new self thing will be important later on. But I'm still thinking about his death, and how he said he's no longer furniture, and also the most important part -> "wait another 100 years in hell for your next summoner". How did he summon Beatrice? Wouldn't that be Shannon if we take it like this? Did he do the things Shannon did in that timeline? Does he summon Beatrice before she talks with Shannon, and that's why he doesn't trust her? It's kindof unrelated to the photo but i keep thinking about that.

*points a finger* These people do not know that the magic of love is not the fact that it's forever, but the happiness it brings to oneself. Even though a relationship might be doomed to fail, and they will eventually break up, that doesn't not mean the love was in vain and that the pain that follows is hell. Life is full of little moments, and be this moment for weeks, month or years, as long as it brings you happiness/teaches you something it was not in vain. The only way a lover will not suffer by a departure is if they both die at the same time. If they don't one will still suffer, although they lived their whole life together. So pain and love are interwined, but denying the latter for fear of experiencing the first one is purely dumb. That is life, and the truth is that the greater the love, the greater the happiness, the greater the pain that will follow. But that's ok. This isn't a tragedy, it's just how life is, so that's why you should enjoy each and every moment of happiness. It will just make you enjoy life more. Tune in next time for more life lessons with ggren.

aaaaaa this makes so much sense. So that's why they're taught to say they're furniture.

wait huh 3? Who's the third one? Kinzo? But i wouldn't say that Shannon's and George's relationship was sown this day.

Also what's the deal with Kumasawa sometimes acting like a sort of narrator? Does she just like speaking like that or.... its weird that's for sure.

next part

[phoenixexho]

a Buddie WIP for yall (for a bit of context, i wanted to include Pepa setting Eddie up on those dates so i wrote this as if the whole Ana thing took Marisol’s place):

He wasn’t sure why he called Hen. He only called her when Denny and Chris had plans which was not today. Usually Buck would be the person he’d go to in a situation like this, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that Hen was who he needed to talk to. And so he called.

“Hey, Eddie.” She answered, the confusion clear in her voice.

“Uhh Hi.”

“What’s going on? Is something wrong?”

“I broke up with Ana”

“Oh…” She stayed silent, waiting for him to speak.

“I’m sorry, I dont know why I called. I’ll just, I’ll talk to you at work tomorrow.”

“No no it’s fine! Why did you break up?” Her question was cautious. He understood why. Sure, they felt like family but not the kind of family you talk to about every little thing in your life. More like the kind you see only at large family gatherings; talk about your job and kids and call it good.

“I don’t know. I mean I do, I just…”

“It’s okay, Eddie.”

“I don’t think I ever liked her. Which is insane, she’s beautiful and Chris loves her. She’s good with him and she’s funny and she’s kind and I just…didn’t feel a thing.”

Hen stayed silent.

“I thought I would. I thought maybe if I gave it time, I would fall in love with her. I mean love at first sight doesn’t exist right? It takes time?” he could hear the desperation in his voice, hear himself begging for answers. He didn’t know what he even wanted to hear.

“It does,” she sighed, “sometimes it’s hard to figure out what you want, that takes time too. And it’s okay to take that time.”

“I know what I want. She’s everything I want and yet…” He trailed off, this was all so frustrating, he didn’t understand why he couldn’t just love her, “The idea of us felt so perfect.” It was true, everything he wanted in a woman had been there in Ana.

Hen was still silent; God why did he choose to call her, this has to be so awkward for her.

“Maybe I’m just not over Shannon, I don’t know, I felt ready.”

“That could be.” She paused sighing again. “Or maybe it’s something else?”

“Like?”

“Tell me about Shannon, how did you meet?”

Eddie was thrown for a loop by the sudden line of questioning but answered anyway, what harm could it do, “We had math class together in middle school.”

“Wow, that’s-you were so young.”

He laughed a little. “Yeah we were.”

“And how did you start dating?”

“We were best friends for years. Then summer before our senior year, she asked me on a date. And I thought why not? I loved spending time with her and she made me happy.”

“Why not?” he could practically see her expression through the phone, raised eyebrows and a smile in her eyes, like she knew something he didn’t.

“I liked her. I just didn’t realize it at first. There was no other girls I thought about, it was just her and the idea of having her around for my entire life made me feel warm and safe.”

Hen hummed gently. “Eddie, that-that doesn’t necessarily sound like romantic love.”

“What? She was my wife of course I loved her.”

“I’m not saying that sweetie.” She still sounded so cautious, like she was talking to an upset child. Why was she being so careful with him?

“What are you saying?”

“Can I ask you more questions before I explain?”

“Uhhh sure?”

“Did you and Ana sleep together?”

“What?”

“You don’t have to answer, really I don’t want to know but I’m trying to help.”

“No, um, it’s fine. I just don’t understand why you’re asking.”

“Just trust me here.”

He rubbed his hand over his face. “No, we didn’t. She never made any move to.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know. With Shannon she always made the first move. I didn’t want her to think all I wanted from her was sex so… It wasn’t like I minded anyways sex is, it’s fine but it’s not as big of a deal as everyone acts like it is.”

Hen laughed. “Sorry, ‘it’s not as big of a deal as everyone acts like it is?’ “

He felt his face heating up, this wasn’t a topic he had really brought up with anyone. “Yeah…” he cringed at himself. “I mean it feels nice but so does…” he stopped himself, sure Hen didn’t want to hear about that.

“Eddie, have you considered the issue is that you don’t like women?”

“What? I- What makes you think that?”

“Every girl your Tia has set you up with you find some small issue with, you only ever liked the idea of being with Ana, the way you describe your feelings for Shannon sounds like how someone would talk about their best friend…”

“That’s not true. I’ve had friends. The way I feel about Buck is nothing like what I felt for her.”

“And how do you feel about Buck?”

How did he feel about him? That wasn’t something he had ever taken the time to think about. Buck, someone who made his heart feel so full it hurt just from being in the same room. Who could somehow make him smile even in his worst moments. Buck who loved his kid so much it made him want to cry. Buck who made him feel safer than he’d felt his entire life and yet still made his heart race when he stood close. Buck and his curls that always seemed to lay perfectly. Buck and his muscular arms that made his knees feel weak if he thought about them for too long. Oh.

“Oh.”

Hen chuckled.

“Hen, what do I do?”

“That’s not my decision Eddie.”

“I- how could I have had it so wrong?”

“Repression. Sometimes you want to be what’s expected of you so badly that your brain hides the truth.”

“Yeah but that’s too easy right?”

“Sometimes it just takes a little push.”

“So I’m…”

“I don’t know. That’s for you to figure out, I just told you what I see. To me your experience sounds like a extremely repressed gay man’s. But I’m not you.”

“But I-I had a wife, and I loved her. I really did.”

“That can still be true Eddie. I mean look at Athena and her ex.”

[lovecolibri]

oh your tags on that one post are EVERYTHING:

#you want to love your child from a distance you do that by sending birthday and christmas cards #and sending letters and maybe having phone calls #you don't do it by cutting the child out of your life #and then making it all about yourself

like loving your kid from a distance doesn't mean much if they don't know about it. i was always annoyed about her lines about "maybe you've adapted to life without me, i hope for that and fear it" or whatever the exact lines were. like that is so freaking self centered and of course it's ok to feel that way but don't put it in the letter to your kid!

Hiiiiiiiiiiii *waves from 3 weeks down the line* Look what I found in my inbox that i forget to check especially now that my app is refusing to work at most things. ANYWAY. Yeah, I was confused when everyone was ooohhing about how sweet that letter was because to me it just felt so manipulative and a way to shift blame. I know I put in the tags of another great post about this the other day that Shannon needing time is understandable and needing to go be with her mom is understandable but cutting off ALL contact?? With her child??? Did she bar her mom from contacting her grandson?? Did her mom call and Chris and Eddie had to wonder why Shannon refused to speak to them? How many birthdays and holidays went by before they stopped checking the mailbox for a card? Did Shannon's mom still send cards and like the phone calls did they hope to see Shannon's name in them only to be disappointed she couldn't even sign a card for her child?

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I actually liked the arc in s2 because it paints SUCH a contrasting picture of a) Shannon and Eddie as parents, b) Eddie's trust in Shannon vs his trust in Buck with Chris, c) Shannon and Buck as co-parents, and d) Shannon and Buck as partners to Eddie. We get a LOT of milage out of just a few scenes! And an underrated moment, I think, is seeing that Eddie has abuela chaperoneing Shannon and Chris. But in season 3 we see Eddie being perfectly fine leaving Chris alone with Buck, including AFTER the tsunami. It speaks volumes to me!

And all of that is why I SO dislike the retconning KR tried to pull in s6, and I really hope we get to see more than just that letter "fixing" things for Chris. He's getting older now and I would love to see him and Eddie having some hard talks about what happened and how they both felt and working through some of that together. Maybe even some family therapy with them! Tim has so far been doing a good job of getting the show back on the rails and righting some wrongs ("I don't know what I was thinking dating a death doula" still cracks me up) and I would love if this is one of those things.

Thanks for stopping by! Sorry I am Bad At Tumblr Friends

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

The Angel Maker: Final Part

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Summary: You still feel guilty for what happened to you and Hotch even though you shouldn't. If you had seen that bomb before getting blasted back, then maybe you wouldn't have so many problems with your "abilities".

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated

x

Hotch and Emily headed over there while the rest of the team stayed back to work on the case. It turns out that the unsub wasn't the one who committed the crime, but Shara, the woman you and Rossi talked to. She figured if this killing spree could work for the unsub, then it could work for her.

It's already late, so you'll have to pick this up in the morning. The comment Emily made is stuck in your head for some reason. Why you're upset at this, you're not sure. You're sitting in the conference room and staring at Emily who is outside getting some coffee in the break room. You have a small pout on your face, and Spencer notices this when he enters the conference room.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," you say and look away.

"Is it your head? Are you okay?"

"Spencer, I'm okay. I took my pain meds before we left the hotel, so I'm good."

The rest of the team filters into the conference room while JJ is on the phone with Pen. Penelope is working her magic in trying to find out who this unsub could be. According to her, four hundred and sixty-three children were born in the lower Canaan area between 2006 and 2008, so you'll have to narrow the list a bit more to get accurate results.

One of the letters Spencer decoded says, "I knew even before they told me that the future had taken root", which can only mean that it was the date of conception. The date of that letter was January 7th, 2007, so Pen had to look between August to September of the same year. With that, she came up with nine names, which is a lot more manageable.

After she sent over the names, your team got to work eliminating them. The Sheriff would know more about these names than you would, so you bring him in to try and help.

"Hannah Dreyfus was in an auto accident. She could barely walk. Shannon Conway moved away when the plant closed a year ago," the sheriff goes down the list.

"Any other names you recognize?"

"No, I'm sorry." The sheriff does a double-take and grabs the paper when he recognizes another name. "Well, this one here sounds familiar but I can't really place it. Chloe Kelcher."

"Chloe Kelcher. That is familiar," Spencer says and grabs the file for Cortland. "She was on the jury."

"That makes sense. She would have been exposed to the case evidence and seen firsthand what he did to his victims. That's when she fell in love with him, sitting across the courtroom every day."

"Well, it's one thing to have a relationship with a killer, and it's another to become one," the sheriff scoffs.

"There might have been an incident that prompted the transformation," Spencer says and looks into Chloe's file. "There's a death certificate here. Microvesicular steatosis. Her baby died at the hospital."

It looks like Chloe is your unsub, so your entire team heads over to her house, but like you assumed, she isn't home. The judge signed the warrant very quickly, so you're allowed to enter her house without getting into trouble. After a thorough search, everyone gathers in the kitchen.

"All right. We all know what the end game is. She's looking for her final victim. She may have already chosen one. Let's tear this place apart and look for anything that might tell us who she's targeted," Hotch says.

You, Hotch, and Derek head toward the bedroom and come across a child's nursery with glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the ceiling.

"Daddy's watching," you say and point to the stars.

"It must have devastated her to think that she could hold on to Ryan by having his child and then lose the baby. Completing his murders became the only way she could hold on to him."

Something isn't right. The second you entered the house, something felt off about the atmosphere. You pause and look around the room until you see it.

Cortland Ryan is sitting on top of some kind of chest located underneath the window.

"What is it?" Derek asks after he sees the look on your face.

Without saying a word, you grasp the end of the chest. As soon as you open it, Cortland mists away. Lying there inside is Cortland's rotting body.

"That's not the only way she's holding onto him," you gag.

"I assume that's who I think it is," Spencer says when he walks into the bedroom. "I have an appointment book here. There are meetings with Delilah Grennan and Maxine Chandler on the day of each murder."

"Sheriff, have you found her tools or the gun?" Hotch asks.

"Nothing yet."

"She has something for this morning: Faye Landreaux."

"She's a CPA," the sheriff sighs. "She does my taxes. She works out of her home."

"Let's go."

Your entire team heads over to Faye's house. As soon as you get there, you can feel how scared she is and also another energy: the unsub.

"My team's ready. Let's get in there," the Sheriff says eagerly.

"Sheriff, we didn't recover a gun at Chloe's house. We have to assume she's armed."

"So are we."

"If you storm in now, she'll shoot, and she'll start with Faye. We need to be smart about this," you say.

"What do we do?" Derek asks.

"I think you should look for an open window," Hotch takes charge. "Sheriff, I need you to bring all your vehicles around to the front, facing forward with lights off, and I need a megaphone."

The sheriff does what he's told, and Derek creeps around the house to try and find an open window to get inside. Chances are, she's locked all the doors so no one can get inside so Derek's only shot it getting through a window without alerting her.

"Hotch, you won't be able to get through to her," you say.

"No, but maybe you can," he says and hands the megaphone to you.

"Sir, the profile is clear. We won't be able to talk her down."

"No, but we can occupy her. If we're right about the MO, she's left a window open somewhere. Morgan will find a way in. We just need to buy him some time. Hit the lights," Hotch says to the sheriff.

Seconds later, lights flood the front of the house, no doubt letting Chloe know that you're here. You take a deep breath and clear your head.

"Chloe, this is the FBI. We know you're in there, and we know what you're trying to do. I know you think that finishing what Cortland started will bring you closer to him, but first, you should know who he really was. I know you thought you were special, but the truth is, he wrote the same things he wrote to you to other women. I've seen the letters." Hotch hands you copies of the letters for you to read to her. "Dozens read the same lines: 'Without the flesh, there is only the soul. You don't need to touch me to feel the love I have for you.' Does that sound familiar? Cortland wasn't who you thought he was. He was a narcissist, Chloe. He wasn't capable of loving anyone but himself.

"To Carla Kettinger, he wrote, 'Ever since your visit, I am crazed with thoughts of you. Already, you have entered my dreams. Each time you appear to me, I am embraced by a feeling of trust and belief as if I've known you all my life. It's clear to me now that you are my fate. We are destined to be together, and when I am gone, that will not change. I will live on in you. In death, our union will be eternal. All appeals are lost. Possessions matter little to a condemned man, but I cannot leave this world without seeing your face one last time.' 

"It isn't your fault that he made you feel these things, Chloe. It isn't your fault your baby died."

That gives Derek enough time to get Faye out of the house because as soon as you're done speaking, you see Derek usher Faye to safety. Second later, you hear Chloe yell out in anger.

"It's over, Chloe. We have Faye. You have nowhere to go," you say into the megaphone.

Still, she doesn't respond. 

"I think we got some tear gas. I'm assuming it's still good," the sheriff says.

"We're not gonna need it. She doesn't have any place to go."

"Well, maybe she'll do us all a favor and put herself down."

"She's not gonna do that, either. She's not done."

Just then, Chloe comes out of the house with the gun in her hand. All officers and agents draw their guns and point them at her, and she stops at the bottom step of the porch.

"Chloe, drop the gun!" Hotch orders, and repeats himself when she doesn't listen.

"I'm coming to you, baby," she grins at the sky.

She raises her gun to shoot knowing that everyone will shoot to stop her. She goes down in two shots, and you back away in pain from the gunshot. Rossi and Emily rush over to her, but she is already dead. Emily notices blood seeing from her jacket, and she lifts it to see the markings of the final constellation.

If we took her victim from her, then she became the last one.

With the case solved, your team gets ready to head to the airport. Hotch is in the police station finishing up, so everyone is waiting by the car for him.

"Hey, are you okay?" Spencer asks.

"Yeah, just tired," you sigh.

"Did anyone get directions back to the airstrip?" JJ asks when Hotch comes out with his bag in hand.

"This town's only got one road. We'll find it," Derek shrugs.

"Yeah, Morgan doesn't like to follow directions. You didn't know about that?" Emily laughs.

"Yeah, he likes to vibe it," Spencer smirks.

"Okay, smart ass. You drive," Derek says and tosses Spencer the keys.

He unlocks the car, and you're the first one in. The car has a row of seats behind the back seat, so that's the one you take. Spencer sees how much pain you're in, and he looks down at the keys in his hands. He likes driving every once in a while, but you clearly need him.

"Not this time," he says and hands the keys to Emily who takes them with a smile.

He sets his bag in the back before climbing in next to you. After putting both your seatbelts on, you shift and rest your head on his chest. He wraps an arm around you and kisses the top of your head.

You're always able to fall asleep a lot better when it's in his arms.

"The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it." - Wendell Berry

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