#but then backtracks bc wtf was that

[jolioiseau]

hail cyric, says the shapeshifter ooze

ur insides twist in abhorrent rage, the feeling familiar but the reasoning yet another mystery to add to the questionable list of Who You Are. a passing fancy of murder shrouds ur thoughts as u pick up the Strange Apple, shiny and firm. crisp, or would it be slimy? - you could eat him for ur god.

—-which is silly bc you don’t have one at the moment. everyone else’s god problems have turned you off of the idea. you’ll pick one up later, like choosing which head of cabbage has the least worms when you’re at the grocer

this thought fills u with dread - cabbage doesn’t go well with much of anything, worm-cabbage less so. the apple and its divine leanings are stowed in ur pack.

[braxlrose]

CAN WE GET THEM BILL NSFW HC PLS 🙏🙏 LOADS OF EM’ TOO. TY MA 🫶

SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG 😭😭

(MY ENGLISCH IS SO BAD IN THIS OMG IM SO SORRY 😭)

I'm a full on believer that this man loves everything.

Titties, ass, thighs etc.

I don't really think he likes one more than the other, he loves them all and whatever he can get he'll take it 😍

The first time you two did it was super fucking awkward

Yall didn't know wtf you were doing but you ended up getting the hang of it and it was really sweet

Yall know what aftercare is? Bill is the actual defintion of it.

See ^^^ 😇

He will clean you off (if you guys didn't use a condom), make you a bath, light fucking candles and all that shit, wash your body, hair, (ik bros got the best shampoo and conditioner), and once yall are out he'll kiss your entire body

Get you snacks

Water soda juice

Whatever you want, he'll find a way to get it

He's a really intimate guy so he doesn't like the thought of just falling asleep after and not giving you any reassurance

I feel like he really likes any position where he can see your face aka missionary, mating press, legs over his shoulders, up against a wall, cowgirl, etc.

He just loves seeing your facial expressions

Plus it's harder to hide your moans if your not face down in a pillow 🤭

Unless he's super horny

He takes his time with you

He'll kiss you what feels like forever before moving down to your neck to fill it up with hickies

And then once he's finally done he'll lay on top of you and suck your nipples

Bonus points if you have piercings there

And he does all this shit with his hands

Grazing them lightly up and down your body to make you shiver

He'll give you like a million hickies on your stomach and boobs

He also definitely does the thing where you make a heart of hickies

Like I said, HE LOVES taking his time with you

Also

HE DOES THE KNEE THING

bros a big ass mfn tease

ima be upfront

he's a little asshole

Backtracking a bit to making out is when he does it, and right when you start humping your dumb little cunt against him is when he stops

cuz he's a fckn asshole

Loves hearing you whine

It makes his dick so hard

And I think we all know he's got a big dick

So he likes to prep you a ton before putting it in bc he doesn't want to actually hurt you

He's eats you out like his life depends on it

And he actually doesn't understand guys who don't like going down on girls

Like full on straight guys who don't like doing it? Makes NO sense to him bc he loves it

He loves toying with you little clit and the way you grip his hair as he shoves his tongue out of your dumb little hole

You've got hair down there?

He doesn't care

Pussy is pussy and he'll take what he can get bc he loves it

He also feels bad if you've sucked him off and he hasn't done anything yet

He believes in equal balance between you two

ON THAT TOPIC

If he's sitting on the edge of the bed while you suck him off, he's gripping the sheets like his life depends on it

Unless you're going too slow

Then his grab your hair and face fuck you until he cums 😍

As long as your okay w/ that

He doesn't want to do anything your not okay with

Which means the first couple times you guys had sex he was asking like a billion questions

"Is this okay?"

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Do you want me to pull out?"

"Did that hurt?!"

"Are you positive your okay?"

"Are you sure"

"If you want to stop we can"

You're gonna have to shut him up, even though it's super sweet 🥰

If you guys are ever trying anything new, he always makes sure you're okay with it and even while in the middle of something he makes sure your okay, just in case you wanna stop

SHOWER FUCKING 🗣🗣🗣

It's so good

It'll usually start out w/ you two washing eachothers body and then either one of you or both of you get horny asf and just end up making out with his dick pounding you like the world will stop spinning if he stops

And since yall are already in the shower, there's already some aftercare done for him

He said in an interview once (I don't remember which one) but he likes girls who are a challenge so he really likes brats

I don't think he'd be like a hard dom or anything, (I could never see him as one) but he does like putting you in your place sometimes

But he doesn't like power dynamics with sex, he gets grossed out by that kind of stuff

He doesn't like feeling like he's got power over you or can manipulate you or something

That makes him sick

But he does like brats and I stand by that 🙍🏻‍♀️

Anyways

Sit. On. His. Face.

He loves it

"But I'll crush you" bro does not care AT ALL.

69ing is a must sometimes

Sucking his dick while he fucks you with his tongue? He'll cum so quick you guys

Which brings me to riding him

He loves it so good

As much as he likes being a top, having you on top of him just using him to cum makes him cum.

You just look so fucking good on top of him he can't help it

OMG SUCK HIM OFF IN AN INTERVIEW???

I can just imagine him trying to hide his face and moans while talking

Him bringing his hand under the table to put on top of your head and bob your head up and down his dick

He'll start coughing like fucking crazy if you accidentally gag on his dick

He likes the adrenaline of getting caught, but to actually get caught?

Nah he'd die on the spot.

now ik some people will disagree with me on this, but I don't think he'd wanna share you with tom

Ik some people headcanon he would, but like I said before he's a very intimate person and wants to be the only one seeing your body

ANYWAYS HOPE YOU ENJOYED ❤❤❤ LEMME KNOW IF YOU WANT MORE POOKS 😘

[cat3ch1sm]

hihi! i saw ur requests were open and i was wondering if u could do killua and gon with a reader whos a silly, clumsy, and kinda dumb mf <3

except readers very powerful, on level or even more than them bc reader is a boss fr 🙏

this can be hcs or a oneshot or whatever u want!

(SORRY IF THIS MAKES NO SENSE LMFAO)

☘️~ DW POOKIE I UNDERSTOOD U PERFECTLY!! thanks 4 requestingg ily <33

gn!reader

𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐨𝐧 𝐰 𝐚 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 <𝟑

୨⎯ 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐚 ⎯୧

killua usually doesn’t have a lot of patience for people with your personality , but he’s honestly seen what you’re actually capable of so he’s more like.. weirded out

as in like, killua knows you’re crazy powerful and generally super capable- so how the hell do you literally manage to trip over every minor obstacle in your path

but tbh gon has kinda warmed him up to those kinds of people. outside of battle situations it’s basically him making sure you and gon don’t get kidnapped or killed or something

and the contrast between your personality during battle and your personality on just a regular day chilling with him and gon is like insane to him. one minute you’re covered in blood and utilizing blazing nen in ways he didn’t even realize were possible, and next you’ve pulled up like a really stupid meme or picture of a cat on your phone and just giggling like an idiot while showing him (and very much still bloodied).

killua asked you about it once and you just kinda gave him that thousand yard stare and he was just like… nvm

apparently your higher functions just shut off after a certain time 😭😭

but back to the clumsy part. because it’s genuinely insane how careless you can be on a daily basis. worse than gon.

“watch out for the fucking pole, y/n!”

“are you even paying attention?”

“what the hell did you even just trip over, you dumbass? there’s nothing even there.”

“holy shit can you be careful for once??”

“I literally watched you take down 10 chimera ants without breaking a sweat and you can’t even pull a push door, you idiot?”

“no, i’m not letting go of your arm because that’s the tenth time you’ve tripped in the past fifteen minutes. you’ll probably kill yourself if i don’t hold your ass up.”

“way to go, dumbass, now you cut your leg. maybe you’ll be less stupid next time” (while begrudgingly fixing you up)

along with being clumsy you can be super absent-minded and get distracted easily. like gon and killua will just be walking and talking and then suddenly stop and realize you stopped like ten feet ago to stare at absolutely fucking nothing.

when they backtrack to get you they’ll be like “wtf are you staring at” and you’ll just snap out of a daze and they’ll realize you weren’t even staring at anything in particular, you just…zoned out😭😭😭

“y/n. y/n? hellooooo? ugh… nevermind.”

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝐠𝐨𝐧 ࿐ྂ

we all know gon isn’t actually the silly, slightly air headed kid from the early days of hxh, obviously- but when he’s just with you and killua and there isn’t any danger, you both basically act the same way. believe me yall got killua stressinggg 😭😭

u guys just fuel each others’ silly antics. and while he isn’t as clumsy as you can be, when u guys are together you guys r genuinely a two man wrecking team. you guys are constantly doing silly and sometimes stupid stuff and not at all focusing.

far too many times you both have been walking or running beside each other and just stumbled over each other’s feet and fell to the ground like actual idiots.

you and gon both have the same tendency to get distracted easily. so basically the same scenario from killua’s hcs but you and gon lmfao

he’ll be walking looking at his phone or something and realize the both of you aren’t even beside him anymore.

“y/n? gon? where… you gotta be kidding me. guys. what the hell are you even looking at?!”

little Christmas head canon- you guys absolutely knocked down the tree at least twice.

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

TBB S2 EP 9 Thoughts!

quick heads up, I'm switching from using a cut and tags as a spoiler warning to just tags. if you don't wanna be spoiled on this blog, please block the tags tbb s2, tbb s2 spoilers, tbb spoilers!

OKAY WAAAAA THIS EP KILLED ME!!! here's the thoughts!!!

Omega missing Echo i'm-

dont talk to me im crying

srsly I watched this ep at the airport (maybe I should've allowed some slight spoilers on this one) and I almost cried in public bc WAAAAA feels

loved seeing Hunters heightened senses in action and also the others trusting them without question

yanno I always assumed Wrecker carries the heavy stuff bc the others physically can't, but Tech just went "fine." and swung that thing over his shoulder like a bag pack wtf

Yanno the guys might not mention it, but the way they're all super tense and keep bickering? yeah, they miss Echo too. And Cross. Confirmed. I'm not taking criticism at this time, thank you.

I'm surprised Tech was initially sounding so apathetic, but.... the "What's your issue?" comment felt..... okay wait, lemme backtrack

my dad has autism and he would often speak to me like that, not realising how hurtful it sounds. He'd also defend himself the same way Tech did in the ep ("I was only telling the truth", "that's just what the situation is, we have to deal with it regardless of how we feel abt it"). So when Tech talked to her like that? dang man, that hit home hard

obv I don't blame him for that! that's just how his brain works, it's not his fault!

but I love that they went there, yanno? they addressed the communication issue between Tech and Omega.

She now understands him a little more and he understands her a bit better

YEY FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!!

The way Tech just,,, jumped in after Omega

Like he left behind his helmet, his datapad, the mineral, all of it

hell he didn't even know if he was jumping to his death or not! he didn't know there'd be a river there!!

Tech for the win, that's all I'm saying

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

other shb thing i think about a LOT is the immediate post-innocence aftermath.

and i mean the IMMEDIATE aftermath. bc like, when you wake up, you're not STILL in the arena. they moved you. and it's not like they could teleport. which means they definitely had to backtrack down the mountain and through that crowd of people who were all so excited to see them win, like, half an hour ago.

and from the pov of those people. i mean like. they were all feeling pretty good about themselves i bet. especially the eulmorans bc what a great way to kick off their new "not being dickheads" routine, but all of them must have been kind of basking in the afterglow of that cool moment of all working together, all of norvrandt coming together, and now they were all just waiting for that to pay off. and it very nearly does! for a moment they see the light flicker, catch a glimpse of that lost beauty of the night sky—

—aaaand then the light comes back.

that must have been a collective "oh shit" moment by itself. like why did that happen?? did you LOSE?? is vauthry not dead? did you mis-aim and now there's a DIFFERENT lightwarden running around? why did it fade for a moment only to return? they were getting so hopeful, too! what the hell! and they're just all standing around saying things of this nature to each other, for, however long it takes your group to get out of the arena and back down the talos and all that, which like. then their next clue as to wtf happened is probably thancred hauling your broken body down the mountain, party visibly down a member. and clearly they didn't actually EXPLAIN it to anyone, so the scions just collectively went ahaha no yeah no, vauthry's dead, no you're safe just listen uhh. can you like. airship. now. please. "where's the exarch" (manic little laugh) OH HE IS nnnnot coming. don't. worry. about it.

like did they have the collective bandwidth to make up a good enough excuse or did they just sort of yell LOOK AT US, DO YOU THINK WE CAN STOP AND CHAT until people moved

[justsomeoneunordinary]

unfortunately, ep3 of loki was still really good so i'll have to keep watching only to be disappointed by the last episode once again

that being said, this lokius thing is getting out of hand. i refuse to call it queerbaiting bc it's not but it sure fucking borders a bit on it wtf. how am i supposed to believe loki and sylvie are in love while they're on opposite sides and clearly don't trust each other and sylvie keeps looking with something akin to disgust at loki - while at the same time loki and mobius are on a fucking date on a fair and then to top it chase the villain on a fucking bi-bicycle of all things???

i used to watch spn and i watched/read naruto, and neither destiel not sasunaru ever felt this much like a lead on to me as whatever the fuck these two idiots have going on

c'mon marvel, loki and sylvie are already canonically confirmed bi and we had an explicitly shown happy gay relationship in eternals - don't go back to being a fucking chicken. either backtrack on the lokius thing and actually show me that loki and sylvie are in love, or lean the full way in and make lokius canon. but stop dancing on the line ffs

[saw-x]

I just found it, and I already love your blog. Your gifs are very quality, and you have great taste.

Even though I'm not a big horror fan myself (thank you for tagging it accordingly), I love Yellowjackets. Natalie was my fave, and even though I'm a grown-ass 40 years old woman, I was so upset by her death that I dreamed the following night that they could save her. I agree with you that season one was better, even though I liked season two as well (Natalie's death was an exception, they did Misty very dirty with it, and that random attack by Lisa was weird and didn't feel inherent).

I knew Lottie wasn't the Antler Queen, but I was in the dark who was supposed to be then, did you know it, or have you guessed it, bc it came to me in surprise. :)

So yeah, my rant is over, and I'm sorry if I bored you but I needed this out of my system.

Keep up the good work, and please tag horror further as it is!

Hi - first of all thank you for sending this ask it's always lovely to have nice messages like this and you definitely didn't bore me 🥰

I am still pretty upset about Nat's death as well and I agree the whole thing was very weird and felt contrived. I understand if Juliet wanted out of the show (which I have suspected since some of the comments she made in season 1, which made me think Natalie dying was a big possibility) but I just wish they had taken actual care and respect to the character when killing her off you know? It all feels mean spirited and disrespectful to me, which is crazy since apparently they had a meaner cut where everyone on the plane laughs at her (wtf?)

I was pretty surprised by Nat being the antler queen and I thought it was an interesting turn of events. In general I still quite enjoyed the first half of season 2, but around episode 5 or 6 I started to find the show a lot less enjoyable and felt like there were a lot of problems with the season and its pacing. For example, I really enjoyed Tai's character in season 1, but I feel her storyline in season 2 was really lacklustre and a lot of her agency was taken away. Everything is explained away as a 'dark, other tai' which feels lazy and kinda feels like backtracking since I feel the implication in the season 1 finale was that she did a ritualistic sacrifice to win the senate race. I would've liked them to explore a bit more of her as a senator since they spent much of season 1 on the senate race and I also find it so weird that Simone is literally never seen again in the season after she was shown in a coma. Character motivations also feel all over the place and I feel like the characters in the adult storyline have big swings in their behaviours which feels weird since that storyline for the season only spans a week.

These are just a couple of examples where I feel the storytelling and pacing just feels really disjointed. I've heard that they originally had 10 main episodes and a lot was cut from the season, and I think the season really suffered from this (I'm not referring to the bonus cabin episode). So yeah... sorry I ranted a bit in return.

[the-queenbrat]

I just deadass got asked why I haven't killed myself yet.

I responded with a really slow "what?".

This bitch decided to try backtracking that "bc I have no friends and no one to love me and I'm going to hell anyway (referring to the fact that I'm fucking gay), that I might as well give myself a one way ticket there".

Mind y'all, the person that said this is a masc lesbian himself so idk wtf he was trying to accomplish and I'm genuinely confused..

Ps. this is the same fucking person that told me im a "fake femme" for carrying a fucking pocket knife for protection.

[launching-a-thousand-ships]

Kurt Glee Rewatch: Theatricality

We deserved more Kurt singing in Gaga songs, just saying.

So, obvs I love Carol but I do find this scene kinda weird? She knows how difficult it was for Finn when she first started dating Burt so why didn’t she have a private convo with him first? Could’ve given him time to process. But then, that’s not entertaining TV.

Also, v small note, but when Kurt mentions the tuna crudite, Burt corrects himself to use the correct term. V subtle change from before, when he wouldn’t really bother (the Maria bonnet before lol). Just thought I’d point it out. He’s already trying...

And why does a house with 2 (and a half) bathrooms not have another room? There are more bathrooms than bedrooms lol.

Def feel bad for Finn here, prob could’ve handled it better. Also, don’t see Kurt as really crushing on Finn at this point? More just excited, trying to make things work. Also def blinded by the thought of getting to redecorate lol.

Theatricality and Funk were switched when aired so timeline is of Vocal Adrenaline is weird but... oh well.

How dare VA do Gaga when that is his identity (and yet he only got to do 2 Gaga songs, blasphemy)

This always makes me think of the story of Chris Colfer meeting Lady Gaga and saying ‘Nobody’s talented but you’ lol

Love Kurt’s reaction to the assignment. Hasn’t been this hype since Madonna.

Kinda side-tangent but oof, Finn, casual homophobia is showing.

First off, he says they’re always doing what the girls want to do?? No?? They do what Will wants. Maybe he means Madonna but a) that was Will inspired by Sue and b) that was bc the guys were being sexist asses.

I do like the idea of bringing in different types of theatricality but would be interesting to have the whole club do both kinds, maybe do Gaga one week, Kiss the next. And oof, the way Finn says ‘except for Kurt’ here bc of all the annoyance he has at the situation... yikes. Trouble ahead.

aw, Kurt and Tina allowed to be friends. Enjoy it while you can, not much time left.

Not gonna lie... not a huge fan of Kurt’s outfit? Maybe it’s the wig giving rococo vibes? Idk, fits with his usual fashion of being hella covered up, but eh. Heels are iconic tho

And damn, the way he talks back to the jocks. And how he tries to sorta backtrack, to just defending Tina. Prob less confident when it comes to just defending himself.

It was made as a big deal in s2, like Kurt wouldn’t have stood up for himself witout Blaine’s courage text but Kurt’s been calling them out all along?? Or maybe by s2 he was more beaten down and unwilling to do anything.

Also, kudos to Azimio for knowing what crepe paper is.

I cannot even with this number. I mean, we get Kurt, Santana, Mercedes, Tina(!) singing lead and freaking rocking it! Wish they got to sing together more often.

And the dance and Kurt getting to use his lower register and just. Lowkey better than numerous competition performances. I love this so much.

Wtf is this reaction to one of the best songs they’ve ever done? Esp you Matt, We know nothing about you but I expected better. Ugh, finn and puck complained about not wanting to perform gaga, fine, but you can’t even support your friends and appreciate a freaking amazing number???

And ofc when the boys perform these guys are all hella into it. Bc they support their friends and are able to appreciate a good performance. Oof.

Jeez, Tina and Kurt are going through it this ep. Why is no one else getting grief? Is it bc the other girls are cheerios? What about Rachel and Mercedes? The lack of adult supervision in this school is astounding.

This look of pure derision Kurt throws Finn... why I think the crush is practically gone at this point oof.

Kurt has spent so damn long working to accept himself, to build up some confidence to be who he is. And esp now that he has acceptance from his dad, the only opnion he cares about, ofc Kurt has no desire to ‘blend in’. 

“It’s just a moist towelette!”

I mean, I was also struggling with Finn trying to wipe off make-up with a dry paper towel like dude. And Kurt prob wants to just comfortably hang out with another guy, but Finn freaks the fuck out. Back in Ballad they hung out pretty closely and Finn never said anything and legit hasn’t called Kurt out on any of it yet. Kurt had been very intense before, but here Kurt is being casual about things.

Kurt kicking the chair slays me. He learned it from Finn. 

Omg this room. Like, lowkey, I’d love to have a room like that, but also.

We saw Kurt in his Mellencamp phase. We know he knows how to ‘butch’ things up if he needs to. Also, this is nothing like any of his past aesthetics and nothing we ever see again?? His style is very modern, usually more sleek and monochrome. I feel like this room was made way more extra to incite the argument cuz like. Wow. I do appreciate the privacy partition, Kurt trying so hard.

Omg this scene. How Kurt was really sincere in trying to make something finn would like. And then the turn around to sadness, embarrassment, regret. Legit a million emotions on his face.

The way Finn is shocked when Kurt starts shouting. Lowkey we don’t see Kurt shout often, normally he goes for cutting remarks etc. Kurt is def in defensive mode.

And when Finn starts using the f-slur like damn. And how Kurt barely reacts to it bc he’s used to the word being used against him (tho never before by Finn) and he prob still feels guilt about the crush and about the room oof.

Then Burt Hummel. Omg. I love how he calls Finn out like ‘you weren’t talking about the blanket, you meant it towards Kurt’ bc yes.

And Kurt jumps to Finn’s defense bc he’s used to being bullied. He’s upset it’s from Finn, but it’s not super out of the ordinary

And Burt calls Finn out like, you won’t use the n-word, the r-word, but you’re totally fine using that slur? 

And how Burt brings it back bc he was the same when he was a kid. Kurt being gay prob had Burt thinking back on all the crap he’d say with his friends and he has lots of guilt over it.

And how Burt says he thought Finn was this ‘new generation of man’ and honestly, that makes me so upset that we barely see anymore Kurt and Finn friendship after this until like. Furt. And after that, even less. And they lowkey don’t give Kurt any male friends (until Elliot, which is nice but ofc he’s also gay).

After all this, and the stupid ‘predatory gay’ trope they gave Kurt earlier, it would be cool to see Kurt getting to be friends with straight guys without it being a big deal ugh. I’ll rant more in Duets tho.

I do think the last scene was when Kurt’s crush officially died. Finn was no different than every other bully he’d dealt with. At least he’s eventually able to forgive him and accept him as a brother tho.

“My balls keep falling off” “I’ve been there” this line kills me.

Kurt’s reaction to every bully: “go ahead, hit me” like boi

Also, I love the quiet ‘oh my god...’ when he sees Finn bc. Ya. Same. Love the speech, and kinda love that even tho Finn is giving this intense speech, he doesn’t clarify ‘my brother’ or ‘my friend’ bc he doesn’t care what the others think. This is just about making it right with Kurt.

And Will appears after this and... no check in with Kurt. Doesn’t go after Karofsky and Azimio bc they were about to beat a kid up. Like... dude. 

This is why I rewatch omg. Kurt pets Finn’s shoulder, and when Finn does it back Kurt immediately waves him off like ‘don’t touch the costume’. Lol.

Also, how tf did Finn make this costume.

[the-mortifying-ordeal-of]

Self harm, press the bruise, flooding, autism trigger tantrum, raw raw raw irritable scream fight wreck run away fuck it leave.

In theory, I like the idea of housesitting: an enforced staycation in a new environment where I can't smoke, can't fuck around because I'm on camera; I don't spend money because I'm not going places, just eating my prepped meals and some of their bougie food that I've always enjoyed. The dog walking needs force me outside a couple times a day, his schedule keeps me up early and to bed early: it's simple living! An awesome stretch of time to do deep work like readmits, or write some letters, or digitize my CDs, or this time I planned to finally do my taxes!

I want to kill this dog. Maybe it's the nicotine withdrawal, maybe it's the irritation of being out of my routine and feeling watched and not being able to dance or read my fanfic or leave whenever I want.. but every time he breaks the silence with a loud, painfully piercing series of barks at nothing, I want to scream (but can't, because I'm on camera). The sound of him constantly, disgustingly, unceasingly licking himself makes me want to throw him. He cannot focus on walks, but weaves back and forth on the path, stops to smell everything, backtracks, suddenly runs and then stops and weaves s'more and then loses. his. shit. every time another human or god forbid a dog nears us. He growls and rushes toward children. I fucking hate picking up his poop, my god ugh ew blech. And then it's cold and windy and I'm antsy and he doesn't respond when I call him so I'm tugging as gently as I can but it tugs his throat and he digs his feet in and coughs but refuses to follow and I hate hate hate him. God and then bedtime, where he gets into bed with me and wants to plant his awful, smelly, matted body UNDER THE BLANKETS right by my fucking face and I'm so filled with disgust because I've seen the way he still has remnants of shit on his ass and there's visible grit and stains on the white bedspread from his body and I'm all nausea and rage.

So that's been a hard time for me. Last time I was here, I accidentally taught him a game with one of his toys and now he whines whines whines at me to play when I'm trying to focus on my deep tasks. He doesn't stop, not when ignored or told no, just whines whines whines right at my fucking face, jumping up on me if I ignore him too long.

I don't like thinking of myself as not-an-animal-person because I loved BabyCat but honestly I'm often so fucking disgusted and do not want to interact at all. I love pictures of pets, stories of pets, but I do not want physical interaction at all. Virtual only please.

So anyway I have not done my taxes. I've barely worked. I certainly haven't written any letters. I did digitize all my old CDs and emotionally wrecked myself reliving 2012-2020, and then as a palate cleanser I made a playlist of my mp3 players from 2008-2012 and honestly that sucked too. I feel gross. I hate remembering, especially the visceral memories that turn my marrow to tar and leave me in the fetal position.

I did finish an audiobook and did a bunch of sudoku, only fucking up a few, and I'm disappointed by how much I did not care for the book, bc now what am I going to say? "Thank you for recommending this book, I had no idea it was a series, I barely slogged my way through the first, but I read the Wiki articles for the last two! They seem fine."

I just feel like an asshole. I feel like a classic villain: hates dogs, hates stories, not good with kids, not good at work - ignoring emails and missing deadlines and just sucking.

Oh God and the whole fuckin debacle of finding out my exex hates my ex and wondering wtf I did wrong to have all my people hating each other. I talk so much shit on people and tell such one-dimensional stories that nobody loves anybody; for having my love language apparently be words of affirmation, I am so toxic and talk so much shit that no one understands why I love anyone. I'm a mess. I feel like a trash person.

And now the fucking dog is whining at me. I will not pet or cuddle it. It has food and water, we walked 90 minutes ago, I'm not fucking playing. I cannot wait to leave. Maybe I'll leave the house and smoke another cigarette. I'm fucking losing it.

[shitouttabuck]

I don't want to be a mood killer ofc and you're free to delete this but I really wonder wtf happened with Buddie in 6A. we got the Buckley Diaz family dinner in episode 1 and then their relationship was almost entirely forgotten about it until episode 10 in 6B (arguably 12, since the lightning strike was a group thing and Eddie played little to no part in the coma dream ep...but I'm not here to debate that 😭). We got so much packed into episodes 12-13, and some interesting stuff in 15, but then it was like they were totally forgotten about again. The s6 finale was the only finale in the entire show (post s1) to not feature any Buddie scenes and it felt so out of place to have them not interact at all. I'm not gonna say something like the showrunners are out to get us bc I don't believe they hate Buddie or anything but I do agree with your anon and wonder what changed between s5 and s6.

hi bud! not a mood killer dw i think these are all fair writing decisions to be wondering about

this is all just my personal vibe from watching the season as it aired (i haven’t rewatched it since) but i think maybe because early in the season we were seeing a lot of buck’s sperm donor arc struggles (which. not my fave arc) and i guess at that point theyd already decided it’s something he goes thru with? in my mind i can’t see a conversation w eddie where he’s encouraging of it lmao esp with all his own My Kid Is Growing Up dad stuff. hen was the best person to talk to thru that anyway and Def if they were going to make it happen

i actually really really liked that eddie wasn’t in his coma dream at all! it made these two things so much more impactful for me: that eddie was the first thing he remembered when he woke up within the dream, and that eddie was the person he went to when he was struggling after. he’s buck’s first port in a storm, always. he’s real, always.

i think the last few episodes were confusing in a weird way where they backtracked on a lot of stuff they’d laid out before. cemetery scene you’ll haunt me on my deathbed….. maybe it was bad writing, maybe they’re laying out stories for next season! i really enjoyed the kind of scenes we did get of them together, big&important talks and just. small goofy interactions. but as for the lack of buddie in big patches i think it was a very buck-heavy season, and adding more buck-and-eddie scenes than we got might’ve taken away from eddie’s own storyline, which was figuring out who he is and what he wants away from being a dad. and i hope. i HOPE. that will eventually bring us back to buck. because at the end of the day, they are exactly what the other has been missing, and right now they’re too close to see it clearly

[cakejerry]

likee he has such a distorted version of what being genuine is.. idol culture got him good bc what do you mean wiping off your makeup is being real with your fans??.. idk if you saw it but the live he did when the seven promotions ended is soo funny yet sad at the same time like one second hes all goof silly mode making fun of a statue and then he seriouses and apologizes if the statue was someone important and then he gets angry and says well how am i supposed to know ???!!!!! the whole live he says one thing then completely backtracks and youre like WELL .. SO WHATS THE TRUTH ??? like on one part he goes on saying that he wants his fans to tell him when hes doing something wrong and then someone comments youre drunk and he gets angry and goes SO ??? DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO like ??? the whole live hes all over the place but idk maybe thats him right now a prepubescent 26 year old and theres something very real about that idk maybe hes serving a lil.. i just hate it for him that it gets broadcasted everywhere praying for him

Omg for fucking real? Wait I need to watch that live tomorrow then and I'll update with my thoughts... Army shield is insane huh because you only ever see the cute parts get clipped and the rest is hush hush. I'm always seeing that vid where he's like "im 26, i can do what i wantt. You dont like me? Then i dont like you!" and it's so cringe because BRO THAT'S NOT A FLEX?? that's kindergarten playground logic???

It all feels like bang pd told them "you've made me enough money and fame. You can do whatever you want now. You're off the leash. Go crazy." and JK was the only one who took it to heart. Like what happened to managers being in the room for every live broadcast? He has no idea wtf to do with himself if he's not being puppeteered... And I sincerely hope that changes. Both the 'his perspective' part and also bighit's inactivity. Allowing him to be going through a quarter life crisis in front of a live audience of millions, literally dystopian. At what point do they step in and tell him no more? Know your limits? Was the smoking "scandal" for the media... Or for bighit? To show them who's boss?

If that's the case he queened a lil like he's not that girl or nothing but he ate that one thing that one lil thing he ATE

[stevestonbike]

Half the year dun!

The club did a ride over a large bridge to Delta BC. The destination was a craft brewery. Once again the link between cycling and beer remains strong. The route chosen had some really poor aspects. I knew this way very well and have crossed that bridge many many times. The leader kept looking at his navigation computer. Insert rant here.

It was stupidly windy. Being in a group helped as you just try to draft as much as possible. The group was not tight by which I mean it was hard to stay in the drafting sweet spot. The person in front of me was always yo-yo-ing which is a bit risky and tiring as you have to keep catching up then slowing down. It is an experience thing.

Once over the bridge the group got separated and confused. One of my old droogs had gone ahead to join the next group up. He eventually waited on this corner where we had to duck under a bridge. He was going to take a picture. It was not tricky in itself, but shit happened. I had been through there a few times before. So I went through and down the path. It took me a while to realize that nobody was following me. I stopped and another rider not in the club passed by me and said someone had crashed. Oh Shit.

I turned around and had to backtrack about a klick and found two of my club waiting there. Where is everyone? "Oh there was a flat I think." Then looking at my old droog who was one of these two he had a huge welt on his lower jaw. "WTF happened?" "Oh I ran into a post. This other guy rode past and cut me off." (The same guy who told me there was a crash) Note to good people. If you see a crash, or even might have caused it please stop.

Weird that the rest of the club was back and helping the flat, but my friend had been injured. Note that whenever someone is hurt, even seriously they always say "I'm fine." His bike had been tweaked and his high tech electronic shifting was dead. Single speed. No going back over the bridge for him. I decided to escort him to the original destination as it was dead flat and easy for a wife to come and find him for rescue.

So I got in front of him and "pulled" him to the big red barn. (Call out to BARNSIDE BREWING https://barnsidebrewing.ca/)

He was doing fine on the bike, but it was good that the route was dead flat and we had a bit of tailwind. Eventually we caught and passed one of our club groups. They were slow as we were not up to going fast.

As we got close I suggested he could take the bike shuttle through the tunnel to get back to his car on dead flat roads. There is a shuttle that runs through a tunnel under the Fraser River. I told him he could look up the schedule on line. So that is what he decided to do. He would ride the shuttle, ride back to his car, drop the injured bike at the LBS (Local Bike Shop) then head home to his wife and dog.

Fun fact. When you get home with an injury wives are always angry. "What did you do now!?"

My ride ended with 89km and change. It was a long day within which I got 26 MET hours. I am up to 1700 MET minutes per week average. Pretty damn good for an old geezer.

[felidthing]

also i went through the gauntlet (grocery store) today so my behaviors are fresh in my brain rn. *nervous about people crowding everywhere* *starts singing entrance of the gladiators to myself while hitting the side of the shopping cart erratically* *runs at top speed down empty aisles with the cart in short bursts to let off nervous energy* *a million detours and backtracks to avoid people* *keeps forgetting wtf i was looking for bc i cant think straight*

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

Something I think about way too often is this super hero cartoon where Barbara Gordon is defending her dad bc someone was talking shit and she says "THAT'S THE MAN WHO GAVE BIRTH TO ME!" which I thought was really cool bc the only household that we get ANY type of insight on our of the whole show would not only have a single dad but also a casually trans single dad and mentally I was so excited and then they turned it into a joke and made her backtrack and go "well.. you know what I mean" which like makes sense based on her impulsive (adhd imo) characterization in the show but also wtf. It would still have been funny w/out the backtracking bc it's unexpected but ofc you have the writers practically as screaming at you "don't worry we aren't transing your kids" but like the story literally wouldn't be any different if he was trans and gave birth to his kid and they had no problem with giving Green Lantern two moms and like there's no way they caused me all this mental grief intentionally but I still. Think about it all the time. All the time.

[aphrodaisyacs]

seeing everyone get so excited over the loki show is making me feel bad for putting it off, but I still stand by my decision to not touch it until I know for sure that it’s actually going to be good from beginning to end