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blzzrdstryr · 3 years

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Like a fairy tale

Yandere!Diluc x maid!fem!reader

Wordcount: 1921

CW: Yandere and slightly suggestive themes.

You loved reading fairy tales as a child - they were magical and hopeful, a needed retreat for a child of destitute parents. They were a promise that if you were good and kind and beautiful enough, eventually some faraway prince would come by and save you from poverty. And you tried to be good - you were obedient and hardworking and you pushed your hardest in the local school, yet hardship and scarcity still trailed your every step - the meager earnings your parents made weren't enough to buy you nice clothes or let you eat until you were sated, which in turn made social interactions harder: some kids sneered and humiliated you, some tried to help you out of pity. You disliked both groups: whether they were friendly or aggressive towards you, they still looked down on you.

Thus you decided to distance yourself from your peers - there was no knight in shining armour galloping towards you on a snow white steed, yet a good education could be your golden ticket to a better rich life. It was hard at first - to work and to study and to help your parents all while ignoring the demeaning and insulting comments the bullies made, but you gritted your teeth and pushed forward, imagining how wealthy you’ll become in the future and in the end our efforts were rewarded - you graduated as the best student, that led you to receiving a scholarship from Sumeru academy. Sparks and shine appeared in your eyes as you read the letter, barely stopping yourself from outright squealing and jumping from joy.

The moment of happiness didn’t last long though, as a reality again reminded you that there’s no place for fairy tales in the real world - scholarship covered the full cost of apprenticeship, but only it - you still had to spend money on the journey from Mondstadt to Sumeru, a place to rent and food, and if you still could find a job after your arrival in the foreign country and pay off the later two, trip required mora that you never had. At first you had a mad idea to traverse Teyvat on your own two feet - it would be a slow and arduous process, but cheap nonetheless. You later gave up on this plan - archons didn’t give you any vision, nor did you have fighting and travelling experience to aid you on the trail that no doubt would be full of slimes, hilichurls and other dangerous monsters.

And that’s how you started job hunting - you took on any work that promised you a hefty pay, be it some boring reports for guild of adventurers or an exciting yet risky endeavor of getting information for an extravagant cavalry captain, which then led you to Dawn Winery. Head housemaid, Adelinde, posted a job opening for a maid, and the prospect of a stable salary, free food and comfortable bed was enough to lure you in there - two or three years ago the previous owner of the winery died in the accident and his successor left Mond for some reason, leaving the maintenance and management of the winery on the shoulders of the said housemaid.

After a quick interview, the head maid demanded you to show her your cleaning skills, which you effortlessly did, having to look after the house by yourself all your childhood. It seems she was satisfied, as she nodded to you and asked to follow her as she led you to your room. Compared to the other two maids here, Hillie and Moco, who preferred to spend their work time in idle chat, you came off as highly professional and diligent worker. This contrast raised both your position and salary in the winery, as Adelinde started to entrust you with tasks more interesting than simple sweeping and cleaning.

You were outside the winery the day you met Diluc - returning from the city and carrying several stacks of milk and wheat you got chased by the hilichurls. Monsters didn’t leave you, no matter how long and how far you ran. You were ready to drop all the goods and have Adelinde to scold you for wastefulness and dereliction when Ragnvindr appeared and stole a breath from you. He looked just like the prince from your childhood tales, impossibly pretty and strong, arriving just when the creatures caught up with you and then defeating all of them with a single slash of great claymore. And just like a fairytale prince he helped you to get up and collect the scattered baggage and asked if you were okay. Then you two headed for the winery, you didn't know that he was it's owner at the time, chatting and thanking him, as he carried purchases. Adelinde almost fainted when she saw the return of the prodigal master in your company. After hastily taking goods from his hands, she made you apologize for rudeness and insubordination, but Diluc interrupted you saying it was fine.

Ragnvindr heir returned back to the winery and life went on its own, except the unreadable glares Diluc started to send you when you both were in the same room. It started off small: the quick glances that soon grew into intense staring. With his impassive stone face it was impossible to tell why he was glaring at you so much, so you acted as polite and professional as you could in his vicinity - after all you didn’t want to get fired and look for a new job. The key to this riddle presented itself during one day.

It was a bleak windy morning when Adelinde sent you to the city again, and as you walked the sky darkened and rain started. You returned absolutely soaked and shivering, teeth chattering and limbs slightly numb from cold and when Diluc saw you he ordered you to change in a low commanding voice. Frightened by the possible dismissal, you hurried putting on the uniform. Because of the haste you pulled it too tightly, hiking up a maid dress a little. It wasn’t up enough to reveal your hips or thighs, showing just a portion of knees that was usually hidden by the wide skirt.

Diluc’s eyes were glued on the uncovered joints, a subtle blush appearing on his pale cheeks. You continued to work, feeling how he consumed your legs with his eyes alone. He is lusting after me. You didn't know what to do with that revelation back then, embarrassed and slightly scared of attracting master Diluc's attention.

Nonetheless, an answer quickly came on the next day as you found a bonus to your salary, so big that it could be considered a payment for the next month. Diluc, despite his usually impassive face, seemed to be ashamed of the thoughts he had yesterday, with the body language telling you of his true feelings.

A plan came to mind. You hated yourself for it at first - it was low and disgraceful, you felt like a stereotypical manipulative gold digger, yet still decided to realize it in life - you needed mora, as fast and as much as possible. Over the time you spent working at the Dawn winery you noticed that Diluc, despite his obviously high intelligence, wasn't really good at judging one’s character, so he fell for your scheme pretty easily. Design you had in mind was pretty simple - to stir him up with small, innocuous gestures and changes that would slip past the outsider’s eyes.

Sometimes you applied a thin layer of healing lip balm on your lips, that so conveniently happened shine and glitter under the light, sometimes you donned your dress a little bit higher, opening the view of two delicate knees and sometimes after cleaning and working all day you felt so hot that you had to unfasten one or two buttons to cool off. Diluc, despite not showing it on his face, was obviously distracted and aroused, hands clenched into fists and a shaky, barely controlled exhale escaping his nose.

He started to pile you with bonuses and prizes; “for a well done job”, he said one time, averting his gaze and masking the shame in his voice under a huff. He also started to request you to specifically clean the rooms he occupied, his eyes sizing up almost every inch of your body. You felt how the lust and desire radiated off him, how his hands itched to trace your skin and have you at his mercy, yet he stopped every time with his steel strong control and self-discipline. You sensed how it dwindled little by little.

Diluc, in some perverted sense, was that fair prince of your childhood daydreams that would save you from poverty.

You almost had saved up the needed amount of money when you noticed the loss of your most cherished possession - an invitation to the Sumeru academy and scholarship certificate. With heart booming in your chest you started to look for it in the whole winery, without giving out that you were searching for something. It seems that you were unsuccessful in your attempts, as master of the winery soon called you into the office.

Here, he was sitting behind the desk with a familiar paper in his hand - your eyes widened as you saw it and you had an urge to run up to him and snatch the invitation from him. You performed a curtsy instead, closing the door behind you and waiting for him to speak, eyes still on the sheet in Diluc’s hold.

“[First], you are a diligent and skillful employee, Adelinde has a very high opinion of you” he started from afar, a slight rosy blush dusting his cheeks at "skillful employee".

"So as your employer I wouldn't want any harm to befall on your person, and" he shaked the invitation a couple of times, "it came to my attention that you were planning on travelling to Sumeru. I advise you against this nonsensical idea".

You gritted teeth, careful not to insult him with the couple of barbed words at the tip of your tongue. Nonsensical idea? This was your goal, a main reason why you worked so much and allowed yourself so little.

“I am sorry, master Diluc, I am afraid I can’t abandon this idea”, you say, response flat and controlled, a thunderstorm of emotions hidden beneath the faux calm, “It is my goal, and the main reason why I work here”. So I can have a bright and secure future, in which I won’t have to worry about the tomorrow ever again.

“I also learned that you were born into a low income family and you had to struggle in your life because of that ” a sudden mention of your less than glorious origin makes your face burn from the shame you thought you buried a long time ago. You are stunned, so he continues: “I believe this little endeavor of yours is also motivated by your desire for a stable future. Drop it, I travelled all across the Teyvat and there are horrors that can easily destroy you both in body and spirit”.

He stands up from the desk, and gets closer to you: “I can look after and provide for you, just stay there and you won’t have to worry about the future again ”. His hold on the paper gets tighter, pyro vision shining with a dangerous glint. A faint smell of smoke spreads through the room - a warning if you remain stubborn and unyielding.

Who could have known that the fair prince was a greedy dragon all along?

#yandere genshin impact #Yandere genshin #yandere diluc x reader #Yandere diluc #Yandere genshin impact x reader #Yandere genshin x reader #Yandere #Diluc #Yandere x reader #my writing

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alwaysmarveling · 3 years

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Socks

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader

Warnings: toxic relationships, small mentions of death, gaslighting, fighting, and miscarriage

Word Count: 4k (literally exactly 4k, I’m kinda proud)

A/N: Based on the song “1 Step Forward, 3 Steps Back” by Olivia Rodrigo as suggested by @vancityfire13, I hope this meets all your hopes and expectations <3 also technically this is my first prompt from someone who’s not me??!

You met Wanda at the library. Your legs crossed, eyebrows scrunched, and bottom lip caught between your teeth, you’d settled in the familiar corner of the library's world languages section. That area was always quiet, which you’d found out after many trips to the library as a kid. When the occasional patron did wander through, perusing the shelves, sometimes they brought family or friends, weaving together sounds and syllables that had to be from another language. It was the only sound you’d tolerate while you were immersed in your reading. Well, to be fully honest, you loved it, wondering what the hushed voices were saying, what stories they were telling. So Wanda’s English was a jarring wake-up call.

“I like your socks.” Her eyes flashed to your ankles, leaving you wondering if she was more drawn to the sky blue color or the characters covering it.

You’d noticed the brunette walking the aisles about ten minutes ago. Unlike most, she ran her fingers along the worn spines, seeming only half-interested in what the titles read.

“Thanks.” Your voice was cold, unwelcoming. She gave you a terse nod before heading off, her footsteps silent against the worn carpet. You thought she was gone.

A week later, you were back at your spot. You’d finally finished the work you’d been putting off for weeks, just about to reward yourself with a reread of Little Women, a book you’d read an uncountable number of times since you were a child. She was an unwelcome interruption.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but-”

“I was looking for a book for my brother. His name is Pietro. Was Pietro. There was a Sokovian fairytale he always loved. Begged my mother to read it to us every night. He could recite it by memory by the time he was five, knew every word. I thought I did too.” Your eyes traced down the curve of her spine. Your mother would have scolded you for standing so poorly.

“I’m sorry for your loss” was all you said, your lips forming a tight line when you finished.

“I couldn’t- I can’t remember the title.”

“I can try to help you find it?” You weren’t sure why you offered, maybe the lost look in her eyes, the growing strength of her accent as she talked, or the way her fingers traced her empty palms. No one should leave a library empty-handed.

“Do you speak Sokovian?” The corners of her eyes creased as you shook your head.

“I suppose you won’t be much help then, will you?” Her words held no bite, only the sadness of a stranger who was trying to hold herself together, her emotions threatening to unravel her at the weakened seams. You matched her facial expression out of sympathy, but she was gone before you had a chance to apologize.

“Do you like Disney?” she had asked you. Her eyes were back on your ankles. You were wearing the same socks as when the two of you first met. You were milliseconds away from answering, your tongue already against the roof of your mouth, ready to shut down the conversation immediately afterward. But then you noticed the way her hands fidgeted in her lap, her fingers always moving, almost like they were dancing. You sighed. You should be nicer; she’d really done nothing wrong.

“It’s alright.” Your shoulders raised and dropped, your answer purposefully vague. “Did you manage to find the book?” The darkening of her eyes was enough to tell you that, no, she hadn’t found it. “What’s the main character’s name?” Her gaze followed you as you pulled out your laptop.

“Boleslav,” she answered finally. Her gaze was timid, unsure. Why were you helping her? You’d been so closed off before.

“Do you know any major points of the story? The names of the other characters?” Before she could answer, you eyed the pillow that sat next to you. She took a seat.

The two of you poured over Google, eventually finding the story and its location in the library. But by that point, you were too wrapped up in your findings on the Internet to get up. Too wrapped up in each other.

---

Wanda insisted she make it up to you, for finding the book for her.

“For helping me find my brother,” she insisted, pulling you out of the library. If she was anyone else, you would have responded by saying that she could make it up to you by leaving you alone with your books, but she wasn’t anyone else. So you let her tug you out of the building, Mirabelle, the librarian, giving you a wink upon seeing you leaving the building with someone else, soft smiles gracing your faces.

You thought she would’ve brought you to coffee, but it seemed you hadn’t yet developed the ability to understand her. She brought you to the city, a small store on the corner. Socks lined the walls, the different colors and patterns flooding your vision.

“Your Disney ones looked old.” You half-nodded as you scanned the store, your hand going limp in hers. You remembered learning about rods and cones in class ages ago, not quite remembering what each one did but remembering that one of them was involved in seeing colors. Those—whatever they were called—must’ve been on overdrive.

You picked one pair for her, and she, one for you. You wore those socks constantly, slipping them over your feet the second they were out of the wash. You never told Wanda about it, but you didn’t have to; her eyes fell to your ankles every time she saw you, a small smile on her face. You didn’t know if you did it for her reaction or simply because you loved them. Maybe it was both.

---

Wanda drew you into her world. Some might have used the word “yanked” given how quickly your relationship moved. But that made it sound involuntary, as if she’d forced you to move in with her when she’d asked you exactly eight months after your first date. And if you’d known she had powers when you first met her, you might’ve agreed. Maybe she’d entranced you and now you were stuck with her, even if you didn’t really want to be.

But the truth was that you did, you wanted to be with her every second you could. And though magic never left her hands when she was with you, even her name was magic, the way those two syllables rang beautifully in the air as she formally introduced herself for the first time. She spoke English when she talked to you, but you swore that whatever left her mouth was a language of her own, so elegant, sweet, and charming in a way that no English speaker could replicate.

But, one night, her words twisted into daggers, punctuated syllables sharpening into dangerous ends, the beginning of each sentence like a handle she grabbed and used to hurt you further, twist until it was lodged as deeply into your chest as it could go.

You weren’t sure what you did to make it happen. Maybe it was just a bad night. She was drunk, after all, home from some party with the Avengers that you hadn’t gone to. The two of you had talked it over before, though, both agreeing that it was too soon in your relationship to attend anything where it’d be publicly released, which was why you were confused about why she was cursing you out for abandoning her, not being there when you needed her.

You promised that you’d be sure to go next time. Wanda just turned around, dismissing you without another word. You weren’t sure what was worse, the silence or her words. She somehow missed the tears that streamed down your face.

The next day, she knocked on your door. This time, she was the one in tears, the rate at which they fell only increasing when she saw how puffy your eyes were.

“I- I’m sorry,” she bumbled, the sounds tumbling out of her mouth like a barrel coming down the Niagara Falls. She couldn’t have stopped them if she tried. You watched her struggle through an apology, something about her insecurities being magnified as she saw all the other couples around her seemingly happy. She just wanted that. And even though her speech was much more clumsy than the usual effortless diction you were used to hearing from her, you allowed her words to draw you in, provide you shelter from the horrors you’d experienced yesterday, when your heart raced and blood rushed your ears and your palms were so sweaty you couldn’t get a grip on anything. You allowed her arms to draw you in, make you feel safe. You allowed her to bring you home.

---

Wanda saw a side of you that no one had ever seen before. Scratch that, Wanda saw all of you. Where others would’ve looked away or missed the true meaning of your words, she dug deeper. You lived your whole life with a mask on, swapping one out for another to appease those around you. Wanda took them all off.

But she didn’t force them off; she made you want to take them off. You were the one who peeled them off one by one, the experience being extremely unnerving every time you revealed that much more of yourself to her, but you always found yourself relieved at the end. Because she accepted you, she loved you.

Right?

---

You called her once, during a mission. It was something the two of you had been doing ever since you started dating. You would ask how she was doing, make sure she was okay, and she’d do the same for you. Of course, when her missions were off-the-grid you didn’t call, but if the two of you were allowed to stay in contact, she insisted that you guys do so.

“I have to make sure my love is okay,” she’d murmured, just before she left for her first mission since the two of you started your relationship. She was holding you in her arms as the two of you swayed back and forth. Your feet were bare for once, the cold kitchen tile underfoot grounding the both of you. Neither of you had wanted to let go; your hands were clasped firmly together around her waist, and hers rested on top of yours. But eventually, the incessant honking from Tony became too much, and the two of you reluctantly moved apart.

“I’ll call you the second I can, yeah? And make sure you call me in the morning when you wake up.”

“I will,” you nodded as Wanda’s hand came up to brush against your cheek.

But somehow she’d forgotten about your agreement, and nothing but annoyance filled your ear, the phone pressed up against it.

“Y/N, I really don’t have time for this right now.” You sucked in a breath, her tone an instant reminder of that night she’d yelled at you. But that was so long ago. And you hadn’t done anything; there wasn’t a party you’d missed since then, not a moment since then that you’d let her feel alone. Or was there?

“I- I’m sorry,” you stuttered. “Should I call you back later?” All you got was a sigh, doubt and panic filling your chest in the momentary silence.

“We’ll see. Goodbye, milaya.” There was barely a pause in between her voice and the disconnect tone. You weren’t sure if the pet name was sincere or a habit leftover from the good times.

Were you still in the good times?

What went wrong?

Where did you go wrong?

She came back from the mission, and all was well again. She spun you around and around, her melodious giggles filling your ears and causing the corners of your mouth to lift. But you couldn’t help your brows from cinching inwards, wondering where this Wanda had been when you’d called. Was it just another fluke, or maybe something you’d imagined?

“I love you, printsessa, so, so much,” Wanda whispered. You loved the way her smooth voice filled your ears, made you feel whole again. Maybe it was the kitchen? Was that the place she felt safe, the place where she felt like she could love you fully? Maybe that’s why she seemed so closed off during the mission. When you didn’t respond, too lost in thought, she spoke up again.

“Detka, d’you know you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me? I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Her eyes sparkled. No red mist emerged from her fingertips, but you swore Wanda’s essence was magic in and of itself. How could you ever deny her?

You surrendered.

“I love you too. More than anything in the world.”

---

The next day, Wanda woke you up with excitement filling her voice, insisting that you come with her to the compound to pick up some of the things she’d left behind.

“I want to show you off,” she’d laughed as she rolled you over.

“We’ve already met, babe. They love me, you’ve said so yourself,” you groaned. She shook her head as she corralled you into the bathroom.

“You haven’t met all of them! Now c’mon, let’s go!” You agreed, and she was right, there were lots of new people there.

“You must be Y/N, right?” You nodded as you shook the man’s hand.

“I’m Clint. I’ve heard, um, lots about you. And your socks.” The two of you laughed at his joke, but something about his chuckle was off. His smile never quite reached his eyes. Wanda whisked you off too soon for you to figure out why though, bringing you over to a rather large man. No, god, he’s a god. Thor, he said. His name is Thor.

“Hi, I’m Y/N,” you’d responded.

“The love of my life,” Wanda sighed, her voice wispy and dreamy. The god’s eyebrows had raised at that.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you then, Y/N. I didn’t know Wanda was so fortunate as to have a love so strong.” Sometimes you had to remind yourself of that too. “You are very lucky, my friend.” Am I?

You exchanged jokes with Natasha, learned of some of Bruce and Tony’s new projects, listened to stories of Thor’s childhood adventures on Asgard; the night went well. Until it didn’t.

You were yanked into a mostly empty room, the door quickly shut behind you. Was that a flash of red you’d seen in the corner of your eye?

“What did you do?” someone hissed. The voice was familiar, but by this point, you weren’t sure if it filled you with dread or joy when you heard it. Was that part of the excitement of your relationship, trying to figure out the complexities of it all, trying to predict which version of your lover you’d get this time?

“I don’t know,” you whispered. “I didn’t do anything, Wanda, I swear!”

“Then why is Clint telling me to break up with you? What did you say to him?” Your head shook, your whole body shook. This was news to you.

“I didn’t say anything. Please, Wan-”

“How am I supposed to believe that, Y/N? Do you really think he’d just make that up out of nowhere?” You tried to find the words, the ones you should say, the ones she’d want you to say. You had nothing. The witch’s anger grew, her hands slamming down on her sides. “God, Y/N! It’s like sometimes I don’t even know who you are!”

But wait, that was how you felt. Wasn’t it? Or had you dreamed that up too? What had you done?

“Wanda, I promise I didn’t do anything. I’ve been friendly to him all night.”

“So you expect me to believe he’s lying, then.” Your eyes fell to her chest, its rise and fall rapid but deep, going up and down several times before she spoke again. “Y/N, he named his child after my brother. Why would he lie to me?” You could do nothing, say nothing to fix this. You weren’t sure exactly what you did, but you’d messed up. Again.

“Maybe he’s right, then.” Her hand ran through her hair, the brown locks that you loved to twist around your own fingers, play with as she laid in your lap, a show playing in the background. You missed those times.

But weren’t you just doing that last night?

You weren’t sure. It seemed like so long ago.

---

Weeks, months, even a year passed. Wanda had apologized for that night at the compound. She’d also apologized for the countless number of other times the two of you had fought since then. But it was okay, you’d thought, because for all those arguments was an equal number of moments where the two of you laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe, slow-danced at 3 AM, used your hairbrushes as microphones to sing concerts for your millions of fans. At least, you thought it was an equal number. Did number matter anyway?

Wanda went from being your girlfriend, to being your fiancé, to being your wife. Like Thor had said, you were “very lucky.” You are very lucky. Because right now, you’re looking down at the stick in your hand, and there are two lines, not one. The two of you had done something so many couldn’t; that was a huge blessing. And now you had to tell Wanda.

Finding the box was harder than you thought, but the other part was much easier. All you had to do was go to the store Wanda had taken you to all that time ago, the small store on the corner. And when the brunette lifted open the lid to find a pair of socks so tiny they could only be for one thing, one person, one baby, she knew. She was ecstatic. You were relieved.

Four weeks. Four weeks later from that day was the worst day of your life. Just as quickly as the baby had come, it had gone. He or she was gone. Was it your fault? The doctor had been quick to shut those thoughts down, insisting that there were many factors that could’ve caused the miscarriage, but you certainly weren’t one of them.

But Wanda didn’t talk to you for a whole week, spending the nights in the guest bedroom to avoid you. It was the longest the two of you had gone without speaking. That had to mean something, right?

It did. It meant that it shouldn’t have been a surprise when you came home from work the following Monday to find half of the things missing. All of her things.

The box was still there, though; you saw it out of the corner of your eye. It sat on top of a cabinet, the two socks poking out of the top.

The two of you had fallen in love with those tiny socks faster than you’d fallen in love with each other. They held so much love, so much promise. But now they were empty, devoid of anything they might’ve held just hours before. They were nothing more than a painful reminder of what could have been, what should have been. Meanwhile, your own socks were still on, the same ones Wanda had given to you on your first date. You weren’t sure you could take them off if you tried. Was that a reminder too? Did it have significance?

The ticking of the clock suddenly caught your attention. You had been standing at the doorway for thirty minutes, but what were you supposed to do? Were you supposed to go somewhere? Where would you go? Wanda was gone, not leaving any clue as to where she could’ve run off to, and you were alone.

When was the last time you’d been truly alone?

Didn’t you use to like being alone?

You grabbed your keys. You weren’t sure what you were looking for, but whatever it was, you wouldn’t find it here.

You push open the door, always the one on the right. Walk twenty or so steps through the entrance, turn left. Take another left, then walk-

It was different. Completely different. The shelves weren’t the same color, metal had been swapped for wood, the carpet was new; what had happened?

“Y/N, sweetie, is that you?” Mirabelle’s voice. At least she was still here. You turned to face her, taking in her wrinkled face, the tortoiseshell glasses that had been perched on her nose since you met her as a child. “Oh my goodness, it is! We haven’t seen you in ages. We were all so worried.”

“Wha- what happened to the library?” Her kind smile flipped, her lips separated with their corners turning downwards.

“We got a renovation at the end of last year, honey. Didn’t you see it on the news?”

“Right,” you nodded, swallowing again, trying to push down the lump that had been growing in your throat for over an hour. “Um, where’s the world languages section?”

“Upstairs, love. Take two rights and you’ll see it. Enjoy your visit, okay?” You nodded again, pressing your lips into a wavering smile that Mirabelle accepted.

You found the section easily enough, pushing yourself into one of the beanbags that crowded the floor. It was quiet—you supposed not many people came to the library on a late Tuesday afternoon—but something was missing.

No, that wasn’t it. Nothing was missing. Everything had changed, and you couldn’t settle yourself no matter how hard you tried. You couldn’t recognize the white walls or the large windows that surrounded you. You couldn’t recognize the book in your shaking hands; the title read “Little Women,” but it lacked the comfort and familiarity it once brought you. You couldn’t recognize the artwork that hung on the walls, the large signs suspended from the ceiling.

You caught a reflection in the shiny metal of a book cart that lay several feet away from you.

You couldn’t recognize yourself.

When you finally left the library, Mirabelle frowned as she watched you exit the doors, not stopping to check out a book like you always did. No one should ever leave a library empty-handed. You’d forgotten that too.

---

She came back less than a week later, her cheeks tear-stained and her eyes rimmed with red as she stumbled her way through an apology.

“It was a mistake, detka, I promise. I made such an awful mistake, and I’ll never forgive myself. I won’t blame you if you don’t forgive me either.” You stared at her, neither your eyes nor your mouth moving as you tried to take in what she was saying, tried to come up with an adequate response.

Which had changed more, the library or you?

“Please, you’re the only thing that matters in my life. I can’t lose you.” The melody of her once-full voice was broken, the chords fragmented and notes falling out of tune. It was as broken as you’d felt for the past few days. Maybe she understood. But you couldn’t think anymore because you were suddenly in her arms again, her tears soaking your shirt as she sobbed.

The library had been renovated, its modernity and welcoming environment being a major improvement to the once somewhat dilapidated building. You had slipped, your feet wrapped in the socks Wanda had given you as you stumbled down the dark, crooked hallway of your life, trying desperately to get a hand on the wall, grab a solid footing.

You had two options: save yourself or fall.

“Please, Y/N, please. Promise you’ll stay.”

You fell backwards, your head being the first to slam into the floor.

“Of course I’ll stay, Wan. I’d never leave you.”

You weren’t sure if you’d ever get up. After all, changed or not, what’s a library without its books? Who are you without her?

-----

🏷 : @007giu

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x fem!reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff angst #wanda maximoff #avengers x reader #marvel #mcu #I wrote something #alwaysmarveling

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thebeebi · 4 years

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your little games pt. 10

pairing: Jungkook x reader

warnings: fluff in later chapters, smut, non-con, mention of r*pe attempt, implied murder and many more! Read only if you are okay with these topics!

genre: historical AU, 18th century?

word count: 3.3k+ [part 10]

a/n: Hello hello wonderful people! I am sorry for the long wait! Thank you for wonderful messages for my birthday, I really appreciate it. ♥ I am back with a new chapter for the series after a week. It has been a long wait but I think you might like this chapter because in the last one and in this one we can see Jungkook’s character slowly developing.

taglist: @njrwifey @danietoww04 @kaithezaftig [If you want to be added, just let me know :)]

You ran away from the man who tried to take an advantage of you. You stabbed him and escaped. Escaped to the arms of the handsome captain who was even worse than the man you just killed.

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9

You were sitting in the carriage silently, looking out of the window. At that moment, it did not matter that Jungkook was in a mad mood and was watching you. “When did he ask for your hand in marriage?” You did not look at him even though you knew he was pointing that question at you. “After I met you. We knew each other even before.” You answered. Jungkook frowned and was quiet for a while. Once he spoke up, it was evident in his tone of voice, that he was irritated. “Would you have married him, if you were still a virgin?” You turned your head to him looking into his eyes knowing that you should not lie to him. “I have no inheritance. His parents would disagree with the marriage because of it. I would not be able to do so.”

“You are not mentioning love.” Jungkook started slowly. You looked down at your hands that were holding each other. “Love has no place in marriage.” You admitted bitterly. “Marriages are for profits and benefits. The lovers are looking for happiness and love in the green grass. They throw away the caution so they could have each other at that moment. I do not understand them.” Jungkook was watching you. “Now I see… you were never in love before and you were never tempted to feel like that. You are too innocent when it comes to love. You are untouched in that area.” He scoffed. You looked up at him, staring into his eyes. “I have no idea what you are talking about.” You replied quickly. “I am not a virgin. What you are saying does not make sense.” Jungkook laughed at your cluelessness. “It almost sounds like you are asking me to teach you what it is. But that would mean I might make you feel happy but you have to pay for what you and your companion did to me.” You glared at him. “I still have no idea what you are talking about.” You looked away while Jungkook was still watching you. “And you are making no sense. I have nothing to do with what they did. Do I have to repeat it for you?”

“Oh please, save it.” He sighed and looked out of the carriage that was slowly going towards the shop of the dressmaker. “I don’t need your lies anyway.” He mumbled but loud enough for you to hear it. “LIES?” You turned your whole body to him, almost ready to jump on him. “Who are you to say that?” Jungkook suddenly grabbed your arm and pulled you closer. “Calm down, Y/N. You are having an attitude and I don’t like that.” He warned you. You gulped dryly when he bore his dark eyes into yours. It made you forget the reason you were mad and you looked down. I need to learn how to control myself. “I am sorry.” You whispered. You hated yourself for actually apologizing and that you were such a coward. Any other woman would scream at him, scratch him or in the worst-case scenario, slap him but you could not imagine yourself hurting him, not because you pitied him but because you were worried about what he might do to you.

Jungkook let go of you with a smirk after seeing you apologize and admit the defeat. “You should think before speaking, little one. Otherwise, you will get tired of saying sorry so often.” You pulled away from him, trying to sit further, in the opposite corner of him. Once you were in a safe distance, you murmured. “It is hard to bite my tongue when you are insulting me.” You sighed and continued. “You are hurting my pride and destroying my self-esteem.” Jungkook cocked his head to the side. “I never said I would not do that. I am not going to let you have any of that.” He looked away from you, watching the world moving from the window. “I told you what you could expect. Did you think I was lying to you?” You shook your head and suddenly a lone tear fell on your hand, followed by the others. You wiped them hastily and Jungkook did not even turn around to see you. He just cursed underneath his nose and pulled out the handkerchief, giving it to you. “There you go,” said Jungkook. “You will need it. And if you intend on crying so often, I recommend you to get your own. It is irritating me that I don’t have mine when I need it.”

“Okay, Jungkook.” You whispered softly, too afraid to remind him that you do not own anything, not even a handkerchief. During the rest of the route, Jungkook was staring out of the window without speaking a word. The carriage was filled with chilling silence and it made you feel even tenser than usually. When you finally arrived, Mrs Dubois was waiting in front of her shop with a huge smile on her lips. Captain Jeon looked like a rich man to her, the type of man who would spend a fortune on his mistresses. Well, that was her first impression of him when he went there for the first time to buy you the dresses you never got to wear before you ran away. To Mrs Dubois, Jungkook looked like a man who knows how to treat his women and since she was still quite young, she knew how to appreciate him. When Jungkook helped you down of the carriage, you placed your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself once your feet touched the ground. He took the cloak off your shoulders and Mrs Dubois looked at the red dress you were wearing. She smiled satisfied, knowing that her work was just made for you and no other woman would as good in this dress.

Mrs Dubois was really curious about the woman when Jungkook was buying such a small dress. She never got to meet you until now. She assumed Jungkook found some kind of mistress and now brought her – you, to her shop. She looked you up and down until her eyes landed on your golden ring. “Madam Dubois, let me introduce you to my wife,” She looked at Jungkook confused but before she could say anything, she stopped herself knowing that it was not the best choice. She heard many of her female clients talk about captain Jeon and how they wished to be in his bed and she honestly wanted that too, never thinking about the possibility of him being married. “Mrs Jeon, it is a pleasure to meet you. I have seen numerous women who wanted to get your husband in their bed, but I gotta say, none of them was as beautiful as you.” Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows at the unnecessary remarks but continued. “My wife needs a few dresses, madam.” The woman suddenly realised the mistake she made and stepped back looking at Jungkook quickly. “Oui, sir, let’s go inside.“ She was aware that men don’t like to share much about their love life even more in front of their wives but she completely forgot this fact even while looking at the ring on your finger.

The three of you walked inside and you made your way towards the colourful materials that would be later used for making dresses. Jungkook made his way towards the sofa, while she was still staring at you thinking about how petite you were but still elegant and charming. In her eyes, any man would love to get close to you, to touch you, to feel you. No wonder, captain Jeon Jungkook married you. To her, you looked like a match made in heaven. Knowing her place, she sighed and gave up on the thoughts of ever getting close to Jungkook again. She walked towards him, bowing to him while whispering in french since she came from France 3 years ago and opened her shop in this little town. “She is a pure perfection, right sir?” Jungkook was the whole time watching you touching the materials, feeling them wondering how much they would cost you. He did not look back at Mrs Dubois even when she whispered. “Oui, madam. She is heavenly.” Jungkook nodded and spoke in the french back at her.

You turned to both of them, not understanding any of their conversations because languages were not your strongest subject. You weren’t expecting less from Jungkook but him speaking in French surprised you. You sighed and suddenly you realised they acted too close to your liking. To you, it looked like she was just another woman from his list of whores he slept with. You turned and walked to them furiously, mad at Jungkook that he brought you to this shop. When you got too close, the boldness suddenly disappeared and you made a quick turn to the right to look at the easel that was holding the papers with a few sketches of the dress designs. You took it from the easel and started studying it, wanting to distract yourself from the woman and Jungkook behind you. You were looking at the model of the modern dress that had a revealing neckline. Only an easy woman would wear that kind of dress. I don’t like it.

When you finally looked up from the sketch, you found out that there was some strange boy staring at you, who just came into the main room from the small room that was hiding being the curtain. His eyes were hungrily looking you up and down, staying longer on the lowcut neckline of your dress and your bust. Even though you knew you were wearing the dress, under his sight it felt like they were seethrough. He licked his lower lip and started walking towards you. Your eyes widened seeing him and when he started approaching you, you froze in fear. The boy took it as your way of showing him affection, welcoming him. He smiled but it was not his lucky day. Jungkook looked at you noticing the movement in the room and when he saw the young man approaching you, it was the last straw that made Jungkook lose it. At first the kidnappers, then your old love and now this young boy. You are his and not any public spectacle everyone could look at. Jungkook hated whenever other men looked at you.

Jungkook was overtaken by the uncontrollable anger and in a second he was on the opposite side of the room. Once you noticed Jungkook was coming closer, you squealed a little, moving to the side, letting him pass by. Jungkook grabbed the young man’s collar, lifted him from the floor and started shaking him. “You bastard, you dirt from the filthiest ground, I will teach you how to distance yourself from MY wife. Just wait till I am finished with you” Jungkook emphasised the word my through his teeth. The poor man was confused and scared because mad Jungkook was scary even for you but angry Jungkook was something you would never want to meet yourself. You stood there still frozen looking at the situation unfolding in front of you but Mrs Dubois jumped towards Jungkook to grab his hands.

“Sir! Monsieur!” She screamed begging Jungkook to stop. “Monsieur Jeon, I beg you. He is just a child. He did not want to offend you. Please, let him go. I am begging you!” Jungkook took a deep breath and slowly let go of the other male. He still had his jaw clenched. Once he let go of the younger male, Mrs Dubois grabbed the boy angrily and pulled him back behind the curtain cursing at him. You could not see what was happening but a loud slap echoed in the shop and you were sure you heard sobs coming from the boy. You nor Jungkook moved until she came back. “I am sorry, monsieur Jeon,” She bowed and then turned to you. “Madam Jeon, he is my nephew. A stupid child but …” she shrugged and smiled apologetically. “but a pure Frenchman.” She tried to say that was the reason for his action but Jungkook was not having it. He cocked his head to the side staring at the woman who tried to bullshit her way out. Once she noticed Jungkook was not amused by her explanation, she moved closer to you, pulling your hand and making you sit on the sofa, showing you all kinds of sketches of dresses she had.

“Let’s start with materials. I recommend using this one,“ she pointed at the material. “for an everyday type of dresses and then this one,” she pointed at a different kind of material, that was so much softer than the first one underneath your curious fingers. “for special occasions. It is just perfect for your type of skin. It is soft,” The smile you had on your lips while touching it slowly disappeared and you looked away. “It does not matter, madam.” You whispered. “Whatever you pick is fine.” She looked at you confused but then once she met her eyes with Jungkook for approval, she got reminded of how carefully he was choosing material for the undergarment. It had to be the softest sheer silk and it had to be up to his liking. She smiled realising how jealous he is when it comes to you, and she was very well aware of how difficult it is going to be for him when he will have to chase away all of the men that are going to come near you. Your face was showing innocence but also your body was too tempting to resist. She knew Jungkook is going to have a tough time.

“Captain Jeon, could you please take madam to the dressing room so we try on some dresses? I have a few sketches made according to the latest trends.” She turned and disappeared into the back side of the shop. She pulled out the chair asking Jungkook to sit down and then she turned to you. “Madam, if you let me, I will unbutton this and once you take it off, I will measure you.” You did as you were told and the dressmaker started measuring every inch of your body. She told you to spread your arms, to hold your breath and to lift up the soft sating undergarment you were wearing. “Well and now madam, suck in your belly.” Said Mrs Dubois once she put the meter around your hips. You looked at Jungkook who was grinning the whole time and when he noticed your death stares he shrugged satisfied. “I cannot do that.” The woman who was sitting in front of you on her legs was wondering why it was such a problem to do this kind of simple task but then it hit her. She looked up with a smile on her lips. “Madam is expecting a little baby, right?” she asked.

You looked away blushing. “Yes,” The woman turned to look at Jungkook. “That is great! So Monsieur Jeon is a proud dad, right?” Jungkook’s grin grew wider. “Of course, Mrs Dubois.“ She smiled and looked back at you thinking. There is no chance the child is not his. His behaviour and how he admitted that instantly… Well, looks like they are going to be a big family one day. She caressed your belly and stood up. “Well, monsieur, that made me happy. You did not blush nor stuttered when you admitted you were going to be a father. That is good. Very good. No man should be ashamed of what he did.” She looked at you then back at him. “And your wife is going to be the most beautiful, enchanting and charming mother, right monsieur?” Jungkook looked at you and she noticed that his eyes lit up. “Exactly, madam. The most beautiful one.“ He admitted honestly.

Oh, look at him! Though Mrs Dubois with a sigh. He cannot wait to have her in the bed again. The little madam is never going to be without the child in the womb for long. He is not going to get tired of her. Oh, how I wish I could be the one. The woman was thinking about the married couple’s future and how jealous she was of you actually getting him first. “Madam has the body of the goddess. Full bust, narrow middle. She is just made for loving.” You looked down shyly. You felt like a slave that was being sold to some man to offer him pleasure. Mrs Dubois was not talking about the body of just some woman, but yours. She had no right to abase you. You shut your eyes and huffed at her remarks and once you opened your eyes, looking into the mirror, you saw that Jungkook was watching you through it. It almost felt like the time stopped and you could not, nor did you want to move or turn from him. Not even when his eyes moved lower and you were well-aware of his eyes on your clothed breast, you did not move. You knew the material of your undergarment was sheer but you still did not do anything but watch his handsome face.

“I am going to grab the sketches. If your wife wishes to dress up again, I will button her up once I come back,” Said Mrs Dubois and disappeared from the room. You finally moved to grab your dress, breaking eye contact with Jungkook’s face in the mirror. You pulled them up waiting for Mrs Dubois so she could help her, but you looked up once you felt a quick tug on your skirt. Jungkook pulled you closer to him, making you stand in between his thighs. You looked over your shoulder with a slightly opened mouth a wide-opened eyes. Your heart was beating fast, even Jungkook noticed it and laughed a little. “Why are you so scared, my little bunny? I just wanted to help you button them up.“ He turned you around to make you face him and unintentionally your hands went up to cover up your bust. “You don’t need to hide, little one. No one else is going to look at you in here. Only me and my eyes.” You did not breathe because you were scared that if you took a breath your bust would touch his face. He was just too close. “Please,” you whispered. “Madam is going to come back soon,” Jungkook scoffed at your remark. “If you will listen and do so, she will come back to see a loving husband helping his beautiful wife. Or do you want her to see-“ You turned around not letting him continue what he was about to say. Jungkook laughed and while he was buttoning up your dress, Mrs Dubois came back with the sketches. “I brought everything I have. As you will see, you have many to choose from.” The dressmaker cleaned up the small table and put all of her works down. Jungkook sit down and you kneeled down in front of him curiously. Mrs Dubois took that as a cue to push the table closer to you, making you stuck between Jungkook’s thighs and the table.

You started looking through the sketches, falling in love with every one of them but you knew he would not spend such a fortune on you. You stared longingly at one particular dress but then sighed and looked away. “Don’t you have sketches of more simple dresses, more… cheaper?“ You asked the dressmaker. She looked at you surprised and Jungkook straightened up in his chair, placing his hand on your shoulder leaning over to you. “My love, I have enough money to buy you any of these dresses.” He said looking at the sketches. Mrs Dubois exhaled with satisfaction. Jungkook bit his lower lip for a second and then returned to his cold expression. He loved wearing stylish clothes and he is not going to let you – his wife think about money when it comes to buying the new dresses. “I think you are too afraid to spend my money,” his hand slid from your shoulder to your chin. He turned your head to look at him and then softly caressed your cheek. “I will help you pick some if you want.”

Chapter 11

a/n: Well??? What do you think? Did you notice something in this chapter? ANY THEORIES? ♥ I am really curious! I hope you enjoyed it!

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cybernaght · 3 years

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Guardian rewatch: episode 6

Episode 6 jumps us into the case of a disappearing woman, Zhou Weiwei, with the SID team being on the scene, taking the unofficial statement of her fiancé, Ji Xiaobai. While in terms of the actual investigation this case is even thinner than usual, thematically its juicy. It’s musing on the self, and how the self is defined in the eyes of the others; it actually has a grown-up real life take on an unhappy love story, and it can even be read as having pro-immigration connotations. This episode is telling the viewer that one is not entitled to nice things because they are a human from the human world, and there is no sin in wishing to take a chance to move somewhere you can see the sun.

From the very first scene, Zhao Yunlan, who always has been shown as hands-on with the investigation, removes himself from Xiaobai’s flat, claiming that he has to speak to someone. It’s obvious who that someone is; and we see that our Chief is starting to rely on Shen Wei as his consultant way before he ever offers him that job. There is no reason for Yunlan to seek the other man’s help; and yet, he will end up solving with Shen Wei by his side, and purely through Shen Wei’s ample advice.

Left with the worried, grieving fiancé of the missing Weiwei, Guo Chancheng suggests they take a stroll to calm down emotions, bringing himself, the man in question, and Chu Shizhu to his favourite place. He is, once again, being the sweetest, most lovely and considerate human being on this planet; and Chu Shizhu is starting to take his lead, listening, being a calming presence - even going as far as to softly offering Ji Xiaobai a beer.

Hearing the sounds of a magpie, harbinger of good fortune, Guo Changcheng becomes animated, dragging Xiobai up to make a wish out loud. Xiaobai, predictably, wishes for his beloved to come back home, and Xiao Guo gladly repeats this wish, strengthens it with his will. This is where he is in his element: making people better, giving people hope, using his massive heart to help those around him. Guo Changcheng truly is too precious for words.

“Kid. You never make wishes for yourself?”

“I do. When everyone is happy, I am happy as well.”

We see Guo Changcheng’s simple, pure altruism resonating deep within Chu Shizhu, reminding him of his little brother that he lost. Well, I say “little” metaphorically, as the two are twins. That’s right, Guardian has two sets of twins, probably because it does not want to waste its extremely capable main cast. I’m not mad at it.

Later that day, Shen Wei is conversing with a flower Yashou conveniently living on campus. I think she has a name, but I have a habit of calling her Bush Woman, because it’s what she is.

She is animated poorly, but at least she is animated at all: there will be a scene later in the series, in which she is played by a bush, being shaken enthusiastically below the shot. The actual conversation is about a person Shen Wei is looking for: he has received a tip from Butler Wu in the previous episode that one of commanders in the Underworld army had a child. Hoping that that child could give him a clue at to where the next of the Hallows is stored, Shen Wei is now looking for them. Naturally, the child in question is also the missing woman in question, but Shen Wei does not know that yet.

Their conversation is interrupted by Zhao Yunlan being sited on the bike heading towards the university. In the next scene, Zhao Yunlan is shifting uncomfortably at Shen Wei’s office door. Presumably, he has knocked, heard no response, and is just about to give up and go home. This is the moment Shen Wei opens the door from inside, greeting him. Did he teleport into his office so he could talk to Yunlan? Yes, yes he did.

Despite being more than capable of deducing stuff on his own, Chief Zhao brings in the pictures of the disappeared Weiwei to Shen Wei to analyse for clues. We know that Shen Wei is aware that there is no actual legitimate reason for Zhao Yunlan to seek out his help - because Shen Wei states as much, in the nicest way possible. Zhao Yunlan does not actually have a satisfying answer to that, and his response is mostly boiled down to shameless flirting.

And also doing throughly shameless things to a lollipop while maintaining eye contact the whole time. Because why not give our protagonist in the show about brotherhood the most homoerotic character quirk he could possibly have, right?

As Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei continue discussing the case, it becomes more and more clear that they work together marvellously, going as far as finishing each other’s sentences. The body language also suggests that they are very comfortable in each other’s company.

Yunlan, who a few episodes ago would rather sleuth himself than ask people for clues, listens to the advise Shen Wei gives him, internalises it, and eventually uses it to solve this case. Scratch that, actually - he accepts it when Shen Wei pretty much solves the case for him.

Following Shen Wei’s words to the letter, Zhao Yunlan opens the portal into the magic dimension and discovers that there are, in fact, two Weiweis. The woman from the mirror - an Undergrounder, who left to live a normal life, and a human, who hid because she could not stand being unpopular, and now returned out of jealousy for her mirror counterpart’s perfect life.

It’s very hard to not sympathise with the mirror!Weiwei over the human one. All the former wanted was to live, and to love, and to be happy. All the later wants is to have all that without putting in any effort. Human!Weiwei does not truly understand that it takes more than taking to have a relationship, and there is nothing that would allow her to be entitled to happiness that she did not herself create.

Instead, she calls mirror!Wewei a monster, and the later snaps, creating a whirlwind of energy which threatens to destroy everyone in the mirror with her.

Unfortunately for her, one of the people she is threatening to kill is Zhao Yunlan, and we know how Hei Pao Shi feels about Zhao Yunlan’s life being threatened. This man, who does have a soft, squishy heart, and has previously allowed murderous Wang Yike to stay with her lover, all but snarls at mirror!Weiwei as he captures her.

The show treats hers and Xiaobai’s farewell as a true tragedy; it’s genuinely heartbreaking to see them cry, as we are shown flashback of their relationship.

In the past couple of episodes, we have witnessed a huge shift in Shen Wei. He may have been determined to detach himself and march onwards alone a short while ago, but he has also seen the SID being full of kind, righteous individuals; he has been begged to save an Undergrounder’s life; he has been asked for friendly support and advice by Zhao Yunlan, and so he, perhaps unwittingly, allows his Hei Pao Shi persona to soften. As he takes mirror!Weiwei away, he stops to have a little tiny heart to heart with Yunlan, saying that identity of a person lies in their heart rather than what or who they are physically. This is a very Shen Wei thing to say, actually, but it will be a while before Yunlan figures that one thing out. Two things on this scene:

One. The mask really does hide Zhu Yilong’s most prominent features pretty well, and to help the viewer understand how he could have been hiding his identity successfully for what could be months, the camera more often than not shoots Hei Pao Shi from a lower angle, and Shen Wei from the higher angle, or dead on, subtly reshaping the jaw line. It’s clever; as is often often the case with the camera work in this show.

Two. Isn’t it a little bit amusing how this ancient godlike being needs to fill in the paperwork in line of his duty?

As with Shen Wei’s advice earlier on, Zhao Yunlan takes Hei Pao Shi’s one to heart as well, and makes his way to human!Weiwei to make sure Xiaobai knows that she is not at all the woman he fell in love with and wanted to marry. He unearths her greed, jealousy and entitlement in full; in the end, this relationship cannot survive, because how could Xiaobai possibly stay with someone who does not know - someone who even is, in some ways, responsible, for his lover being taken away from him forever? As the couple breaks up, Wang Zheng and Sang Zan’s love song is playing in the background.

During this scene, the infamous “I would like to buy [this coat] for my girlfriend” moment happens.

As we know, he does not have a girlfriend. He may, however, have a boyfriend.

I really like the idea that he buys Shen Wei’s trench coats based on this. I really do. It is nice to see Shen Wei’s style starting to change dramatically as he and Zhao Yunlan become closer, of course, and I want it to be one of those deliberate coded messages Guardian is absolutely astonishing for. But at the same time, this is the jacket Yunlan is remarking on:

It sadly does not look anything like what Shen Wei wears. I will file this under “it’s true because the fandom said so”.

Later, Hei Pao Shi is having a conversation mirror!Weiwei, revealing that he knew her father, and getting a clue he was after. We are getting a lovely extreme close-up of his eyes. While the mask does not stand to scrutiny of close examination - seriously, they could have maybe put actual leafing on it! - I really love this shot.

At home, Zhao Yunlan is talking to Da Qing about his favourite subject, which is Professor Shen, and performing more shameless things to his lollipop while doing so. Brotherhood, my friends. This show it about bro-ther-hood.

Da Qing wonders if his friend has been bewitched by Shen Wei, because it is obvious that Zhao Yunlan does not shut up about the man ever. When asked whether Yunlan would arrest the professor if he were indeed from the Underground, Yunlan responds with a dismissive, almost affronted “He didn’t do anything wrong”. We are to understand, through Da Qing’s reaction, that this is extremely uncharacteristic of Zhao Yunlan to say something like this, and it is entirely reasonable for Da Qing to be concerned. We could extrapolate that Da Qing’s worried because if Shen Wei is dangerous, getting attached to him in such a blatant manner could put Zhao Yunlan’s career and life at a very great risk. So, Da Qing, who knows his friend very well, chooses to press all the correct buttons to kick-start his natural curiosity, and do some investigative work into Shen Wei.

Step one: break into his flat. As you do.

When we saw Shen Wei view the flat prior to moving in, it was shown already furnished, which is not entirely consistent with this tasteful, yet eclectic, furniture. I don’t know about you, but most flats I have rented have been furnished at IKEA. I can’t help but particularly admire his G Plan style mid-century side-board. And the fact that the man owns a gramophone, because of course he does.

Shen Wei’s book collection is wonderfully perplexing. I’m not surprised that he reads in English - he is educated, and Dragon City is explicitly shown as bilingual, seeing as signs and even gravestones are written in English. But choices were made with the selection of titles. Going off the English ones alone Shen Wei owns: three copies of the same book about architecture, a heavy looking tome on interior design, a tattered one on Van Gough, and the only non-fiction English titles in his possession are… Irvin Welsh’s Trainspotting and a novelisation of Rocky? The former is notoriously difficult read as it’s written entirely in the Scottish accent. The later is very difficult to find, as is often the case with unnecessary novelisations. Neither scream “Shen Wei” to me.

Apart from Shen Wei’s obviously fake book collection, we find out that he has some files on the SID. It should be a weird point of contention for Zhao Yunlan, considering that a) he also read Shen Wei’s files; b) he literally broke into the man’s apartment.

While Zhao Yunlan and Da Qing are still nosing around the flat, Shen Wei makes his way home, stilling at his door when he either sees that the lights are on (they won’t when he left), or notes with his Hei Pao Shi sense that someone is inside.

We, in turn, discover that he has sword replicas on his wall. The swords are obviously European, two of them are shorter, arming ones, and the one in the middle is a longsword with a hand and a half grip. All three have round pommels, downturned cross-guards, and the general shape most reminiscent of very Late Middle Ages (I would hazard at a guess and place them around second half of the 15th century). I wish we could have seen Shen Wei fighting with one of those at some point, because they would be wielded in ways very different from his own blade, but alas. The shield, by the way, has no business being hung together with those swords: it’s not only from a wrong era, it’s from a different part of the world entirely; my guess is that it’s a replica of a shield from the Tang dynasty.

Shen Wei senses Zhao Yunlan hiding on the balcony, and bites back a smile. Anyone else would be less happy to find out that their privacy being violated, but he is endeared at is the same way Yunlan was endeared at Shen Wei’s cunning during the prior episode.

After getting back to Zhao Yunlan’s own flat (possibly by waiting for Shen Wei to pretend to fall sleep), Da Qing and Zhao Yunlan move on to step two: contacting the Underground Regent about Shen Wei. Which is not as important a tidbit as finding out that Zhao Yunlan owns a swing.

Then, they move in to step three: the banner.

According to this article, it’s 锦旗, a traditional gift of gratitude. It’s addressed to “Dragon City University, Professor Shen Wei”, but is singed by “Zhao Yunlan”, without mentioning of SID or his position therein, implying that the gift is personal. The message reads “Helping people [is] helping oneself” and “conscience of the industry”. It’s extremely over the top, which both Shen Wei and Chu Shuzhi, tasked with delivering the banner, are aware of.

Shen Wei looks between tentatively amused and politely mortified.

Chu Shuzhi looks like holding this banner is the most excruciating torture he ever had to endure.

The banner, of course, has a hidden camera in it, so that Zhao Yunlan has a 24/7 feed from Shen Wei’s office. As he and Da Qing are watching the gift being hung, Da Qing is teasing Yunlan with Hei Pao Shi, who is surely the wrong man to tease him about.

In the next scene, Zhao Yunlan is at Shen Wei’s workplace again, and we discover from Shen Wei’s unpleasant boss that Li Qian has dropped out after her ordeal with the Longevity Dial.

From the way this is written and shot, I would surmise that Zhao Yunlan does not spring on the professor in a middle of an uncomfortable conversation, but rather has spent some time with him prior to it, volunteering to be moral support. He continues being a good friend by asking Shen Wei why he feels like he has to shoulder all of the world’s weight: it’s surprisingly insightful into a large part of Shen Wei’s personality.

There is little narrative reason for them to have this meeting, so I am choosing to believe that dropping in on Shen Wei randomly during lunch time is a habit Zhao Yunlan has started to form.

Finally, before the episode ends, we are privy to Shen Wei being the most polite, level-headed mugging victim. He hands the muggers his watch and money willingly, waiting for Zhao Yunlan, who is obviously stalking him, to show up and save the day. The muggers, enraged by his cool attitude, decide to shake him up, and, in the last seconds of this episode, the Pendant of Pining appears in shot for the first time.

Next up, episode 7: No, Shen Wei, It Wasn’t The Bears

------

Just a quick note to say that I’ll keep those recaps going, but I will have to slow down the pace at which I’m churning them out to one every three to four days. There are some real life things I’ve been neglecting last few weeks that I need to spend my time on; and I’ve also started a new show (Sound of Providence, not Word of Honour - my watching priorities currently lie with Zhu Yilong being awesome). So, if I’m quiet here for a few days, I’m not gone, just a bit busy.

ETA. Realised that I made a booboo when translating the banner. Fixed that now.

#guardian #shen wei #zhao yunlan #weilan #recap #rewatch #overanalysing set design

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starring-movies · 4 years

Text

The Haunting of Bly Manor: Episode Analysis

*SPOILERS*

Episode 1 - The Great Good Place

The first episode of the second season of ‘The Haunting’ anthology series, ‘The Haunting of Bly Manor’, begins with the opening credits which kick off each episode of this season. In these credits, we see painted portraits of each of the main characters of the season (Dani, Peter, Rebecca, Jamie, Owen, Miles and Flora, and Hannah) and the features of their faces gradually disappear, the significance of which we do not discover until later on. Although Dani is the only one who actually remains a ghost after becoming the new Lady of the Lake and will have this physically happen to her, having not just Dani’s but all of the main characters’ facial features smoothing over, goes deeper in telling us that even though the general ‘shape’ of you remains in people’s memories of you, it is the final fate that “all things fade” [ep 8] and will eventually be forgotten over time.

Is is also notable that all of the characters’ portraits are shown to be in rectangular frames, however, Hannah Grose’s portrait is in an oval frame. This subtle detail, just like the disappearing facial features, indicates something important to the plot that is not made sense of until watching further. In this case, we find out in Episode 5 that Hannah is actually a ghost herself and that her body is lying at the bottom of a well on the grounds, but in the beginning credits, we are subtly being shown that Hannah is different to the others without it yet being revealed in what way.

After the beginning credits, the actual episode begins with The Storyteller, who we later find out is Jamie, reciting the lyrics of “O Willow Waly” by Isla Cameron. The lyrics of the whole song are:

“We lay my love and I beneath the weeping willow,

But now alone I lie and weep beside the tree,

Singing ‘oh willow waly’ by the tree that weeps with me,

Singing ‘oh willow waly’ till my lover return to me,

We lay my love and I beneath the weeping willow,

A broken heart have I,

Oh willow I die, oh willow I die”

The song was originally in the 1961 movie ‘The Innocents’ which, like The Haunting of Bly Manor, is another adaptation of Henry James’ 1898 novella ‘The Turn of the Screw’. The song is constantly repeated throughout The Haunting of Bly Manor by various characters, as well as being the music played in a music box which was found amongst the belongings of Miles and Flora’s mother, Charlotte Wingrave.

The lyrics of the song, describing the singer sitting beneath a willow tree giving a sad lament for a lost lover, are very apt for what will come throughout the series - the tragic gothic romances of Henry and Charlotte Wingrave, Rebecca and Peter, Owen and Hannah, and Dani and Jamie. In each of these instances, someone in the partnership can be reflected in the singer of the song, lamenting for their lost love and lover (Henry Wingrave, Rebecca, Owen and Jamie all suffer this same sad lament after losing their love).

Having Jamie recite these lyrics at the beginning of the season also tells us at the very beginning, what Older Flora tells us in Episode 9; that Jamie isn’t telling a “ghost story” but a “love story”, and similarly that we are watching a love story and not necessarily a ghost story in the traditional sense.

We then watch as Jamie wakes up in her hotel room and she immediately looks towards her right shoulder. This is something that can easily be overlooked on a first viewing, however, we discover at the very end of Episode 9 that Dani’s hand was touching Jamie’s right shoulder as she fell asleep - it is up to the viewer whether this is actually Dani or instead a comforting memory of Jamie’s - so in this moment as she wakes up, Jamie is actually looking at her shoulder because she felt Dani’s presence to some degree. Similarly, we also find out in Episode 9 that Jamie’s ritualistic staring into the water’s reflection in the bath and sink is done in the hope that she will one day see Dani reflected back at her.

When Jamie first wakes up we can also see that she’s smiling, as if she was dreaming of her life with Dani, possibly having been tucked away in a memory of them by Dani, who quietly watches over and protects her.

We then continue as we see that it’s 2007 and Jamie arrives at Older Flora’s wedding reception, and it seems that her arrival is surprising to Older Owen, who looks like he did not expect Jamie to attend. His surprise is most likely due to the grief that he will be aware that Jamie carries after losing Dani, and Dani only died from the sacrifice that she made to save Flora from The Lady in the Lake. However, after seeing Jamie arrive, Owen says in his speech that “to truly love another person is to accept that the work of loving them is worth the pain of losing them”. This is something that is not only applicable to Owen himself, as he truly loved Hannah and is under the belief that loving her was also worth the pain of eventually losing her; but what he says is also applicable for Jamie (who he seems to be specifically directing this comment towards).

The wedding reception carries on into the evening, where all the attendants have gathered together and begin to talk about ghost stories. They speak of ghost stories flippantly, chalking them down to being “just a story” and a “part of the sales package” so that “they can charge a few hundred extra for the ghost story”. In this conversation one woman also jokes about being warned of a ghost called “Seamus” who had “his head crushed in where a horse had kicked him” and all the other guests laugh lightheartedly (and somewhat disrespectfully) at this.

However, Jamie says that she has a real ghost story but she warns that it’s long and not her story, and despite this Owen encourages her to tell it saying, “well it seems we’ve got time enough, and wine enough, why not?”. Owen is more than likely to be aware of what story Jamie is referring to and so he clearly also wants Miles and Flora to know what happened to them as children, and more importantly the sacrifice that Dani made for them. This is something that Dani, Jamie and Owen discussed when Dani and Jamie were visiting Owen’s restaurant in France, A Batter Place, in Episode 9.

During that conversation in France, Owen says that he wouldn’t tell the children and “just let them be” and “let them live their lives the way they should without anything hanging over them”. However, since that conversation Dani has died and unlike the children she didn’t get a chance to live her life the way she should, and so it seems that Owen’s opinion has changed. It appears that he now thinks that the children should know what happened and what Dani sacrificed for them (especially if they’re told indirectly, which Jamie subtly makes clear to Owen as she makes a point to say that “it isn’t really my story”).

Jamie then begins to tell her story where we switch to London in 1987, and we do not return to Older Jamie at the wedding reception until Episode 9. In our first introduction to Dani, we can clearly see that she’s a tourist and very much out of her depth. She appears slightly flustered and scattered as she checks her map to make sure she’s arrived at the right location and comically, with typical tourist fashion, she wears a hidden waist bag which holds her map and the address of the location for the job interview.

Interestingly, Dani’s red rucksack has some flags on it, which are most likely patches which she’s collected on her European travels after leaving America. The flags show us that she’s not just come straight from America to the UK, but that she’s been backpacking all throughout Europe and really is running away from her past. The flags show us that she’s been to Sweden, the UK, France, Luxembourg/The Netherlands and Italy (or Ireland, but it’s unlikely that she went to Ireland based on the direction she’s travelled and the fact she’s in London now) - Dani has also attached the flags of Luxembourg/The Netherlands incorrectly, as these two are upside down.

As Dani is about to cross the road to go into Henry Wingrave’s office building, she suddenly sees a spectre with glowing eyes in the window of a fast passing car. We don’t yet know that this is her ex-fiancé who’s image she is haunted by after he is killed when she breaks off her engagement to him, having realising that she is attracted to women. The fact that Dani sees him on her way to the job interview, shows us that he appears to her not only when she is feeling the guilt from her sexuality, when she is advancing her relationship with Jamie (which we see happens later on); but also when she is just generally attempting to move on with her life.

During her interview with Henry, we can clearly see by her body language that Dani is trying to put on a confident facade but it’s exactly that - a facade. Although she tries to exude confidence through her body language, we can see that she’s uncomfortable as she awkwardly shuffles and attempts a British accent when she says that she’s “fallen quite in love with London”. An attempt which we can see is not well received by Henry as he rolls his eyes and says “god” under his breath.

Although, Dani is used to putting on a facade, we know from Episode 4 that she has in fact been putting one on for her whole life; agreeing to marry Eddie (the fiancé) just because she “didn’t want to hurt you [Eddie] and your mom” and was just hoping that she “could just stick it out and eventually [she] would feel how [she] was supposed to”. Dani had been putting on a front and was hiding how she felt for her whole life, just as Older Jamie says in Episode 4, that “the au pair had been telling herself to wait another night, another time for years and years”.

We can also see that although Dani still appears to be quiet and meek, she is now stronger in her life than when she was with Eddie, and when Henry tries to ask what “the catch” is, she bites back at him and says that she had the same question for him as the job seemed easy to fill. We also see this confidence later on when she decides that she wants to pursue a relationship with Jamie, she is sick of hiding how she feels and acting how she’s been told to, and so in Episode 3 she tentatively makes the first move with Jamie as she’s sick of hiding and wants to show Jamie that she’s interested in her.

We also find out why Dani has such continual trouble making tea, as she says to Henry that she hasn’t “quite mastered tea, I’m used to it coming in a pitcher, full of ice cubes and lemon wedges”.

This facade is also shown visually in the interview scene, as she is wearing a black blazer during the interview with Henry, when she is trying to impress him for the job. When we see her looking in the job section of a newspaper after the failed interview, we can see that she has taken off her blazer and she has also taken off the front of caring what impression she makes with him, and so she storms up to confront him when she sees him sit down at the bar. The removal of the blazer also shows us how much more genuine Dani comes across when she’s not pretending and is just being herself - Henry doesn’t give her the job during the interview, when she’s trying to be impressive; but when she’s just being her authentic self in the pub, he decides to give her the job because he can see her genuine caring intention to help the children.

It is also notable that she is drinking a beer, a stereotypically masculine drink and another thing that makes her more unusual.

During this conversation Dani says that when she used to teach the fourth grade there was “too many of them and too little of [her]” and she thinks that she “could make a difference, a real difference, with just two”. This wish, to “make a real difference”, is actually something that Dani ends up fulfilling when she saves Flora and Miles, but she is only able to do this with a tremendous sacrifice of her own life and happiness.

Whilst on the car ride with Owen, after being picked up by him in London, Dani has a conversation about Bly with him. In this conversation Owen tells Dani how he was born in Bly, how he has been living in France but has now come back, and says that “the whole town is one big gravity well, and it’s easy to get stuck”. This inescapability of Bly makes sense, as we later find out in Episode 8 that The Lady of the Lake has created her own “invented gravity” within the grounds of the manor from her grief and anger. From what Owen says it is apparent that The Lady of the Lake’s “gravity” is the strongest within the grounds, but its affect has also managed to seep its way into the town of Bly itself.

After Dani arrives at Bly, it is strongly implied that Fora had just been controlled by Rebecca Jessel. Flora is singing “O Willow Waly” by the lake, which is the song that plays in the music box that Rebecca and Peter kept their Polaroids in, but she turns around in confusion saying “what song?” when Dani remarks “what a beautiful song” - this confusion at not being able to remember what she’s done is something that Flora always has after being taken over by Rebecca.

As well as this, Flora is sitting by the lake, which Dani says in Episode 3 that Flora “hates the lake”; but just like the various other times when Flora is taken over by Rebecca, Rebecca uses Flora’s body to walk to the lake (the location where she was killed by Peter and mourns for her life that was snatched from her).

Flora goes on to tell Dani that “you’re expected”, which is a nod back to ‘The Haunting of Hill House and actually a chilling thing for Flora to say after knowing what happens to Nell. In Hill House, Olivia - who is Nell’s, also played by Victoria Pedretti, mother - similarly tells Nell “you’re expected”. Nell goes back to Hill House and dies there and Dani eventually returns to Bly Manor where she dies.

Flora also introduces Dani to Miles and Mrs Hannah Grose. The latter of whom we come to find out is actually a ghost and has, only moments before, been pushed down the well by Peter Quint (possessing Miles’ body) and killed, and when we first see her she is actually staring down at her own corpse.

The creepy moment when Miles is lurking by Dani’s door and watching her get changed is still unsettling, but it’s made slightly less creepy when we later find out that it was one of the times when it was actually Peter in Miles’ body.

When they all have their dinner that evening, we do see Hannah have a sip of tea (which Dani notices she’s hardly drank any of, but she puts down to it tasting bad), however she also doesn’t eat her food and continues not to eat any food - a small hint that Hannah is actually dead.

While Dani is giving Flora her bath before bed, Flora looks over Dani’s left shoulder and seems to be having a partial conversation with someone who’s not Dani - Flora comments that she’s being silly even though Dani hasn’t said anything that would prompt her to say that, and she’s initially mad at Dani for having the butterfly clip that belonged to Rebecca. But after looking over Dani’s shoulder, Flora nods in agreement and tells Dani that it’s actually okay, so it appears that Rebecca told Flora that Dani could have her hair clip. We learn later on that Flora continuously sees Miss Jessel standing behind Dani’s left shoulder, as she seems to be continuing to watch over Flora even as a ghost, but Rebecca doesn’t reveal herself to Dani until Episode 7.

Just before bedtime, Dani says that Flora can play with her dollhouse, which is a microcosm of Bly Manor. The locations for all of those within the house are shown to Flora by the Doll Face Ghost, who dictates the placement of the dolls for her. Dani sees Flora playing with one of the dolls and asks “is that me?” to which Flora replies “why, no, silly, you’re you”. At first this is a comment that can easily be dismissed, but in Episode 9 it bears much more importance. In Episode 9, Flora gives Dani the doll that she was playing with in this scene, because she tells her that “you must have it, it’s you”.

Flora knows that The Lady of the Lake is within Dani and now, unlike when they first met, she has become a doll. Dani is just a puppet who will one day be completely taken over by The Lady. Flora knows that Dani is no longer “you”, after The Lady has accepted Dani’s invitation she has lost a part of herself to The Lady, and the doll is now as similar to Dani as she is to herself.

We are shown some shots of within the dollhouse where we can see that Miss Jessel’s doll is next to Flora’s bed, so this confirms that Flora has just been looking at and speaking to Miss Jessel; we can also see that Peter’s doll is in Miles’ room, so this also confirms that Peter is following Miles around.

The next day Dani goes into the church on the grounds, where she finds Hannah lighting some candles for “the dead”. She lights four; one for Charlotte Wingrave, one for Henry Wingrave, one for Rebecca Jessel and she doesn’t yet realise it (and nor do we) but the last candle is sadly for herself - it can’t be for Peter because Hannah doesn’t yet know that Peter is dead, everyone thinks that he’s just ran away.

That night, just before Miles and Flora’s bedtime, Dani kicks the doll which represents The Lady of the Lake, as it was sitting in the middle of the floor. Flora’s dresser represents the lake and the dollhouse is the manor, so we know that The Lady is on her way to the house, which is why Dani is locked in the cupboard - not because the children are playing a cruel game, which is what it first seems, but because they are actually trying to protect her, as they know that The Lady approaching and they’ve seen what she did to Peter.

You can read my previous The Haunting of Bly Manor posts here:-

Episode 2 - The Pupil

Episode 3 - The Two Faces, Part One

Episode 4 - The Way It Came

Episode 5 - The Altar of the Dead

Episode 6 - The Jolly Corner

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itsamejin · 4 years

Text

trash || taehyung fluff/angst

Part 2

Summary: Taehyung and you are friends with benefits, but you’re having a hard time maintaining this secret relationship when a close friend of yours starts falling in love with him.

Warning: Suggestive themes, mentions of alcohol and casual sex, cursing and crude language/humor

Genre: Fluff, Angst, fwb!au, college!au

Word Count: 6,589 Words

—

Taehyung and you were never one for relationships. You knew it, he knew it, the long list of lovers you two had could attest to that fact the most. You two were notorious for the number of people you slept with, not that it was any of their business anyway.

It wasn’t like you intended to be with him. In fact, your initial impression of him was that of annoyance. Taehyung would flirt with you shamelessly during parties and often referred to you as his “rival”. With the nonstop back and forth between you two, your mutual friends were easily agitated with how you played hard to get. They had to admit, though, it was hilarious seeing Taehyung insist on taking you out on a date, only for you to insist that he should rot in hell.

This went on for a whole year, so it only made sense when the second year of university came around and you had decided to cave in to his boyish charms. It was meant to just be a bit of fun with nothing tying you down to each other. You’d have sex at his place, and his place only, and never speak of it to anyone on campus.

No one knew of your escapades and frankly, it was easier that way. Your friends were sure you hated him and his friends were sure he’d never have a chance. It was the perfect arrangement. They didn’t have to know about the late nights of sneaking into his dorm room, the times he helped you escape from the campus guards at the crack of dawn, or even hiding you in his closet when his friends came over for a surprise visit.

As far as you were concerned, this relationship would stay a secret.

—

You didn’t need to be Einstein to know that Taehyung was hooking up with another girl just as consistently as he was fucking you. It wasn’t a shocking fact, but you had your regulars besides Taehyung too. It was just the way he described her that surprised you.

“She’s like the total package y’know?” he said after a particular night of companionship which led you tangled up in his arms on his couch, naked and panting. “Sucks she has to waste it all on me, but she’s a nice girl. Might have to end it quickly before I catch feelings.”

Taehyung caught feelings way more often than you did. It was easy for him to get attached to girls, unlike you. Most of the men you slept with were ready to leave by the next day so liking someone you hooked up with was rare. Taehyung must’ve really taken a liking to this girl with the way he was stroking your hair, as if in deep thought over his own words.

You’ve never met her, but you knew she had to be pretty. Every girl Taehyung had his eyes set on was beautiful, yet you knew he played favorites. After almost every night you spent at his place, he’d reveal that you were his favorite girl, and while you didn’t really take that as a compliment, you’d always reply that he was your favorite too. The two of you sprawled out on his couch sipping the whiskey you poured before he fucked you, it was almost like trash acknowledging trash.

“But I don't think anyone could replace you,” he muttered into your hair, taking one long gulp of his drink.

You shook your head.

“I can name four other guys that I could hit up instead of you,” you teased, not really believing your own words.

Taehyung looked at you seriously and set his glass down. You did too.

“You sure about that?” he asked lowly, caressing your bare calf with his fingertips. You giggled at the sensation.

“I don’t know,” you said playfully. “Why don’t you show me why you’re my favorite, Tae?”

He gave a small scoff and practically pounced on you, pushing you down onto the couch without a moment of hesitation.

—

Now him fucking another person wouldn’t have normally been a problem since Taehyung’s women came and went like the wind most of the time. There were instances where he’d claim that he found “the one” and then text you just minutes later asking for you to come over. The thing was, though, the girl he was messing around with- who he talked so highly about- just happened to be your roommate, Hana. Cute and innocent Hana who would never hurt a fly.

Taehyung didn’t know this fact since you’ve never invited him over, but it was a downright horrifying experience when you had caught him making out with her on Hana’s bed. You had made things worse unknowingly, by also bringing over a boy from the club you were partying at earlier.

“What the fuck am I looking at right now?” you shuddered, attempting to cover your eyes from their frazzled state. You did not want your image of Hana to be tainted by someone like Taehyung.

“Oh my gosh, I thought you were sleeping over someone else’s!” Hana screeched, covering Taehyung’s body with her blanket. Of course, he had to be shirtless.

“I thought you were visiting family!” you shouted frantically.

The tension in that room was suffocating and you couldn’t shake the fact that Taehyung was the one who made it more awkward. He had pulled away from Hana pretty quickly, but he glared so viciously at the boy you were holding hands with just earlier. His death stare was evident to everyone in the room.

“Yeah, I think I should go,” your date said, not quite remembering his name. Whoever he was left hastily and you were left to stare at two deer in headlights.

“[Y/N], this is Taehyung,” Hana said, flustered. “I think you guys already know each other, though.”

You tried to suppress your laughter at the way Taehyung’s face changed so easily when the guy you were trying to hook up with had left. Now he just wore a smug look on his face. You didn’t really know where that came from, though.

“Yeah, but we’re not in really good terms,” you lied, trying to hide your own embarrassment. "In fact, I’m sick to the stomach just looking at him.”

Taehyung grinned, knowing that you were just trying to not come off suspicious.

“Well maybe another time, huh Han Han?” he said, nuzzling into her neck but keeping his eyes on you. You rolled your eyes at the nickname and his obvious glances. Taehyung never stopped being a dick, even in these situations.

Hana only nodded and stood up, helping Taehyung put on his shirt and jacket. He also had to... zip his pants back up. Taehyung had winked to you on his way out, which went noticed by Hana who glared at him slightly. She softened the glare when she saw that you had no reaction to his lame attempts to flirt. You were far too used to Taehyung’s stupidity to really be fazed.

“Nice to see you too [Y/N],” he said huskily before exiting the dorm. He for sure was going to get caught by the campus guards downstairs and you’d look forward to hearing him complain about it the next time you see him. You laughed as soon as he left, wiping a stray tear from your eye. Taehyung had really dug himself into deep shit this time.

“Taehyung? Really, Hana? When you can do so much better?” you cackled. “I am so disappointed in you.”

It was true after all. Hana was the typical good girl type and came to college with the sole intent of studying and getting her diploma as quickly as possible. You admired her for that. She was a motivated student with clear goals in her life, while you were more of the “enjoy life in the moment” type.

It definitely came as a shock that Hana was able to fall for Taehyung like so many other girls had; it was obvious in the way she blushed. You cooed at how cutely she was reacting. You’ve never seen her so flustered like this with anyone else. It kind of made your heart clench, though, and not it a good way.

“[Y/N]~~,” she whined, pouting lightly. “I’m so stupid. He asked me for my chem notes and instead I gave him my first kiss. I’m such an idiot.”

You laughed even louder, falling to the floor. Classic Taehyung move, he never changes. You could list ten other girls he used the same tactics with.

“Hana, it’s okay I’m not judging you,” you said, grabbing a nearby chair to bring yourself back up once again after a few more giggles escaped your lips. “Actually I am, but don’t worry too much about what I think.”

You patted her head as you walked past her, collapsing onto your bed. You were extremely drunk before you came into the room and you needed that laughing session to finally start sobering up. The guy you were about to bring in wasn’t even that cute anyway, you sighed.

“You know walking into that mess actually kind of saved me,” you said, languidly. “The guy I was about to fuck didn’t have a big dick.”

Hana gasped at your word choice and slapped your thigh.

“[Y/N], you’re so crude!”

You smirked at her innocence. It wasn’t like you’d actually seen it, you just felt it earlier in the club while you were dancing. Nothing to write home about.

“You were literally sucking faces with the Kim Taehyung just seconds ago,” you yawned. “I will not accept any form of criticism from you.”

She chuckled lightly and played with her fingers. Sure, maybe you were being a hypocrite for teasing her especially when you and Taehyung were fuck buddies, but you already knew your standards were low. It was almost expected of you to get together with him eventually.

You never thought Hana would be into a guy like Taehyung, but then again, it was the classic bad boy and good girl story. Some part of you was envious, but you couldn’t help but want to cheer her on. They felt like the main characters of some romantic drama you’d binge-watch, only to be pissed off when the second leads (who were much hotter) would be forgotten in the script. You shook your head in disappointment. Hana deserved so much better than Taehyung.

“You know he’s fucking other girls right?” you said, sitting up and looking at her seriously. “He’s a bad person, Hana.”

She pouted but nodded slowly. Something tells you that she doesn’t mind.

“Yeah, I know,” she said sadly. “It seems like all my friends have been with him at least once, but I can’t help but feel like I’m special? I don’t know. Sometimes he doesn’t even ask for homework when we meet up... We just talk, y’know? He’s so good with his words, [Y/N]...”

Hana took a seat next to you and winced at the smell of alcohol that radiated off of you. You couldn’t help but feel bad for Hana. She was falling for the oldest tricks in the book because she was so naive. You didn’t want to have to see her get hurt by a guy that was passing college from copying other people’s homework.

“Hana, I’m gonna tell you this in the nicest way possible,” you said, facing her but making sure your nasty breath didn’t make its way towards her. “No girl is special to Taehyung. He does things like that to get in your head and make you want more. He’ll throw you away when he gets what he wants from you.”

“But-”

She tried to speak yet you cut her off. You didn’t really know what motivated you to speak so badly of Taehyung, but you did so anyways.

“He’s exactly like me, Hana,” you continued on. “We’re both fucked in the head when it comes to romance, love, and all that shit. And do you remember how I described myself when we first met?”

Hana sighed, obviously not wanting to repeat the derogatory words you’d said about yourself so long ago.

“Trash,” she muttered silently, looking at the floor. She felt guilty just for saying it.

You smiled and ruffled her hair. She only furrowed her eyebrows in response.

“Just be careful, okay?”

“It’s just Taehyung,” Hana chuckled. “How much damage could he do?”

—

Hana didn’t seem like she wanted to take your advice because you caught Taehyung and her everywhere on campus almost everyday. You saw her tutoring him in the library, walking to class with each other, and even sharing an ice cream cone! Just how badly did Taehyung need to pass Bio-Chemistry this quarter?

You felt mean thinking such things but you couldn’t help but be doubtful of Taehyung, especially when he was still meeting up with you every weekend in his dorm. You’d have thought they were dating if you didn’t know any better, but there you were, in his bed naked for the second time that week. Sometimes you wondered what was going on in that stupid, beautiful head of his.

“Are you sure you should still be seeing me?” you asked him, head buried in his chest. You could hear his heartbeat so clearly on nights like this.

“You caught feelings or what?” he teased, taking a stray eyelash out of your cheek. “That would be a big problem wouldn’t it, [Y/N]?”

You rolled your eyes and turned around to face the wall.

“I’d be caught dead before that happens,” you whispered, snuggling into his arm underneath your head. Taehyung traced circles on your waist, mesmerized on how wonderful your skin felt against his.

“Why should we stop?” he asked, tilting your head towards him to meet his eyes.

“Hana,” you replied back curtly. There was no malice in your voice. You just stated her name as if it was a fact. Taehyung only sighed in response.

“Means nothing,” he muttered, nuzzling into your hair. “You’re still my favorite.”

You clicked your tongue at his harsh words, but you couldn’t help but feel relieved. Maybe there was a chance that you two could still have this... relationship without adding any more complications. Deep down, you were proud that he still considered you his favorite, even if it might not have meant anything to him.

“Just go to sleep, jackass,” you whispered, dozing off at the sound of his steady breathing. You felt safe in his arms.

Taehyung wanted, so desperately, for you to notice that he had said that while sober. It was meant to be a confession, no matter how vague it might have been.

Before he could talk any further, though, you were already sleeping soundly against him. He’d have to save it for another day, Taehyung thought. He leaned down and kissed your eyelid, which fluttered a bit at the contact. Taehyung chuckled.

“What did I do to deserve you?” he whispered, wishing you could hear him.

—

You entered the campus restroom, fully intent on just touching up your makeup, but a cramping sensation in your gut had you rushing into one of the stalls to relieve yourself of the pain.

As you were about to flush, you heard the clacking of stilettos outside of the stall and you could recognize that noise from anywhere. They were girls in your marketing class, the ones who were in the brink of failing but managed to seduce the TA last minute to get passing marks. You respected them, honestly. If only they didn’t hate your guts.

“I heard [Y/N] and Tae are seeing each other,” the girl with red heels said. You winced at the nickname she gave him. She got dumped by Taehyung a year ago and couldn’t keep her nose out of his business since then.

“No fucking way,” the black heels responded, clearly applying lipstick as her words were somewhat distorted. “That’s like an STD waiting to happen.”

The two of them had started to cackle and you had to admit, that was a pretty good joke. How they found out was unknown to you. Taehyung must have let it slip or something. You’d make sure to give a talking to him later about it.

“No, but get this,” red heels started, “You know that small girl, Hana?”

Black heels girl nodded, you recognized the motion through the sound of her dangling earrings.

“Taehyung managed to get in her pants too and they’re like, kinda serious. Like, about to date serious.”

Black heels gasped over-dramatically and dropped her lipstick into the sink. She picked it up but was still very much shocked.

“But isn’t [Y/N] and her like, super close?” she asked. “Does Hana even know?”

The girl with red stilettos clicked her tongue thrice as if disapproving what her friend was saying.

“You know [Y/N],” she said with a sigh. “You think she cares?”

Her words stung more than you thought. Did people really think of you that lowly? Did they really think you’d betray your friend like that?

But then again, weren’t you betraying Hana? She liked Taehyung so much and here you were, banging him every weekend with very little consideration towards her feelings. You clenched your thigh with your fingers until you were sure it would leave a bruise. Should you have told her that Taehyung and you were fucking behind her back?

“Well, it’s none of my business anyway,” red shoes continued. “Those two will get what’s coming to them.”

Even as the two left the restroom, you contemplated on their words further, wondering if they were right about you. Somehow your heart felt heavy at the thought of it all. Were you a bad person?

—

You couldn’t shake off the guilt that tugged at your heartstrings every time you saw Hana get ready for a date with Taehyung. You wanted to seem interested everytime she asked for your opinion on her clothes, but you just couldn’t get those words out of your mind. Would those girls tell Hana if they got the chance?

The emotional torment hit the hardest when you sat on Taehyung’s floor, him playing with your fingers as you rested your head on his shoulder. You had both ventured off to the weird parts of Youtube, watching couples explain why they broke up with each other on his phone. It left a sour taste in your mouth.

“Could you imagine being that hungry for attention that you’d broadcast something like this to millions of people?” he chuckled. “Like just break up behind the scenes, no one cares enough about your love life to want a 40-minute video on it.”

You weren’t really paying attention to what he was saying, but was more focused on the several notifications that popped up on the screen from all of Taehyung’s other hookups. You recognized their names easily. Yumi, Jiseo, Sarang, etc. Even your phone didn’t quite blow up with messages like him.

“I feel bad for people in relationships,” you replied eventually. “Like why would you willingly put yourself through that torture?”

You expected him to laugh like usual, but he stiffened.

“Is being in a relationship that repulsive to you?” he asked genuinely.

You nodded in response.

“Fuck relationships,” you said curtly, watching the girl on the screen start breaking down into tears. Taehyung only shrugged.

“I don’t know. I’d like to be in a long-term relationship eventually, even if it hurts in the end.”

You nodded in understanding, but you didn’t quite have the same philosophy.

“Monogamy is weird to me,” you said half-joking. “Maybe when I’m 60 and the possibility of having kids is out of the question.”

Taehyung laughed this time, dropping his phone on his lap on accident. He turned towards you and kissed the top of your head.

“Well, you’d still be hot by then,” he teased. You punched him lightly on the thigh.

You two sat there, enjoying each other’s company silently when another notification rang from his phone. He picked it up, and to your surprise, he answered almost immediately. Taehyung shut his phone off, but before he did, you caught sight of the Caller ID.

Hana.

You wanted to ask what she sent him, but you didn’t feel like it was your place. Instead, you looked up into his eyes and kissed him deeply. You didn’t know what led you to kiss him, if it was the jealousy or your insecurities, but you couldn’t bother to pinpoint the reason as his hand traveled underneath your shirt. He gently grasped your waist and laid you down softly. There was a bed right next to you two, yet you chose to stay on the floor. As his hand traveled lower and lower, you couldn’t help but get lost in the enigma that was Kim Taehyung.

—

You rolled around your bed, trying to find a comfortable position to fall asleep in, but nothing felt right. Hana was at her desk, doing God knows what at 2 a.m. in the morning, and kept the lights on.

“Can you turn off the lights, Hana?” you whined lethargically. “I can’t sleep.”

Hana nodded back in response, but you couldn’t see her.

“Yeah, let me just finish this up.”

You sighed and attempted to cover your head with a pillow. You just wanted to dream for goodness sake. You heard her smack something on the desk and she stood up rapidly. You sat up to see what was going on and was met with Hana’s elated expression.

“It’s done!”

She held up her little project to you and you squinted to get a better look. It was a small poster-board with big red lettering. It said, “Kim Taehyung, will you be my boyfriend?”

You wanted to cringe at the sight of the bright words. It felt very high school but it was very Hana of her. Your guilty conscience ate you up once again at the sight of her sparkling face. You didn’t have the heart to tell her your real thoughts.

“I know you probably think this is childish,” she muttered, blushing. “But Tae said he never got asked out with a poster back in high school so I thought it was a cute idea! I should stand out from the other girls with this, right?”

The way she asked so innocently made you want to cry right then. She had looked so excited, so full of life and love to give Taehyung something that seemed meaningless to you. She even called him ‘Tae’ in that soft voice of hers. You used to go on and on about how Taehyung didn’t deserve Hana, but you were starting to think you were the one that didn’t deserve him. You’d never even think to have come up with something like that or anything romantic for that matter.

“Is it too cheesy?” Hana asked shyly, looking for some comforting words. She was starting to feel nervous with how silent you were being.

You could only give her a brief smile and a nod. It was her first relationship after all, there was no need to discourage her.

“It’s the right amount of cheesy for a guy like Taehyung,” you replied halfheartedly, which went undetected by Hana.

She looked relieved as she set it back down on her table.

“Thank God. I just hope he says yes,” she said, finally closing the lights.

More than ever, you felt awake. Your eyes had adjusted to the darkness, but your heart rate did not slow down at all. It felt like you needed to take a sprint outside to get this feeling of apprehension out of your system. Your palms clammed up and your throat felt constricted.

You couldn’t do this to her anymore, you couldn’t watch a girl so clearly in love with Taehyung be brushed aside for someone like you, whose feelings weren’t even clear to begin with. You heaved out a deep sigh as you collapsed your head back on to the pillow. Desperately, you were searching for a way out of the situation you dug yourself in.

You’ve definitely regretted sleeping with some men in the past, you just didn’t think Taehyung would be one of them.

—

It should’ve been way easier breaking things off with him, but Taehyung purposely made it difficult. Each time you’d bring up Hana’s name in conversation, he’d shut your mouth with his lips. He started to initiate sex more frequently and it felt like he wasn’t even trying to hide you as a lover from his friends anymore. You had confronted him about red heels girl knowing about your secret relationship and only shrugged in response.

“She asked me why I haven’t been texting her so I just told her I was always with you,” he replied back nonchalantly. Needless to say, you did not sleep with him that night.

Nothing seemed like it was going according to plan and your feelings only got more confusing as the days passed. Taehyung had started buying you meals whenever you came over and even set a blurry photo of you as his lock-screen. What was up with him really?

Hana had still yet to confess her feelings, so you were glad that you had some time until you could cleanly cut yourself out of Taehyung’s life.

Today would be the day, you insisted, but the way he stared down at your lying figure, biting his lip, your mind went blank from any thoughts. You couldn’t even form coherent words as he buries his face onto your chest; he was just too good at this for your own sanity.

“C’mon you can’t be done already, huh?” Taehyung softly whispered into your ear, playing with the ends of your hair as you recollected yourself from another round. You groaned.

“Tae really. We need to talk,” you tried to sound serious and ultimately failing as he planted soft kisses on your neck and collarbone.

“What’s up with that?” he teased. “You sound like a concerned girlfriend.”

You rolled your eyes at him. He always made weird jokes like that. He’d say questioning shit like ‘girlfriend’, ‘wife’, and ‘honey’ so often that you had tuned it out after a while. The words somewhat held more meaning now, though, since you were planning to end your friends with benefits relationship that day.

“Well, actually I am concerned about something,” you said, pushing him off of your body to lay next to you instead. You sat up straight. He propped his head under his hand and looked up at you intently. You swore you saw stars in his eyes. God, how did he manage to still look so irresistible?

“What’s up with you and Hana?” you asked, directly making eye contact with him. His face had turned sour quite quickly but then changed to that of satisfaction. He adjusted his position a bit so that he was closer to you.

“Why? You jealous?”

You scoffed.

“No, dumbass,” you said, punching his shoulder lightly. “I’m worried about her. Not you. You’re like, her first love.”

He left out a soft sigh and rubbed one of his eyebrows with the back of his palm. Taehyung always did that when he was put under stressful situations.

“Okay and?”

You rolled your eyes. Truly, he was trash.

“Do you not remember your first love, jackass?” you said, searching for your bra at the side of his bed while still maintaining eye contact. “She deserves way more than what you’re giving her right now.”

Taehyung shook his head and pulled you towards him, stopping your search for your underwear. Your back was against his chest and his lips directly on your neck. You felt his breathing on the enclave of your shoulder.

“So who’s the unlucky girl that deserves me then?” he whispered onto your skin.

You shuttered, feeling slightly ticklish. You couldn’t believe he was flirting with you even in a situation like this. If it was any other night, you’d have swooned and let him take you once again, but it was nearing 4 a.m. and the guilt was engraved deeply in the back of your mind. You did the one thing that could separate him from you momentarily and elbowed his stomach, sitting up again.

“It’s not me either, dick,” you chuckled at the way he clenched his core in pain. “If you want to keep seeing her, I need to cut ties with you. I might have done some messed up shit behind people’s backs in the past, but she’s a good friend. I can’t keep hurting Hana like this without her even knowing it.”

Well, it was easier getting those words out of your mouth than expected.

You didn’t bother to look at Taehyung’s face as you stood up from the bed, finally finding your bra on the other side of the room. You’d definitely miss Taehyung’s king-sized mattress and the expensive ass wine you’d drink together, but it had to be done. For the first time in your life, you were walking away from a situation that could get you into trouble.

You could feel his eyes on you as you searched for the rest of your clothes, managing to get fully dressed in a matter of minutes. He had put on his boxers and sat on the edge of his bed, eyeing your every move.

“Hey, I know you might miss me,” you teased, pinching his cheek lightly. “But, I don’t want to get caught up in any more drama, alright? Hana’s a good girl, maybe you could finally settle down-”

He cut you off, grabbing your wrist and pulling your face towards him. Maybe your heart had skipped a beat for a second there, but that giddy feeling was soon replaced with annoyance at his next words.

“And you? Are you gonna settle down?” he asked with a growl that he only ever brought out on... rough nights. You couldn’t help but laugh at how seriously he was taking this. Maybe he wasn’t lying when he said that you were his favorite fuck buddy.

“Unlike you, I haven’t met a Hana to tie me down just quite yet,” you said, releasing yourself from his grip. “No Prince Charming has ever swept me off my feet.”

You said it with a wink, but those words didn’t sit well with Taehyung. Who exactly was he to you?

“I’ll just stop meeting Hana then,” Taehyung shrugged. “We don’t need to end what we have going on just because of another girl. I could cut her off easily.”

You stared at him for a bit as you combed through your hair and then busted out in laughter. Taehyung furrowed his eyebrows at your reaction.

“Tae, no offense, but you actually can’t do better than Hana,” you shook your head, still laughing at his words. “Do you know how hard it is to come by a girl like her? Like, she’s so good for you. Hana could actually change you, you know that?”

It seemed pathetic that you were hyping up Hana so much and you could tell Taehyung was starting to get annoyed by it to, but you couldn’t help it. Hana was really better than you in so many aspects. Who were you to try and monopolize Taehyung all to yourself? Who were you to discourage her from pursuing a relationship with him? The right thing to do was to give her a fair shot with her first love.

You walked towards the pair of heels you had left near the bedroom door and slipped them on carefully.

“I could change for you too, [Y/N],” he murmured softly. “If you just ask, I would.”

You blinked at his words but continued to put on your heels. Was he drunk? You just came over after some light studying, you were sure he wasn’t intoxicated. No matter how hard you tried to ignore the rapid beating of your heart, you couldn’t get rid of the guilt that sat in the back of your throat.

“Tae, you and I both know we can’t change each other,” you said finally managing to get your heels on after grabbing the wall. “We’ve been doing this for months and we still manage to find time to fuck other people when we have the chance. Does that sound healthy to you?”

You tried to ease the tension of the conversation, but Taehyung was making it extremely difficult to switch the atmosphere into something more positive. He was angry with you, you could tell by the way he clenched his fists together and looked down at his feet. What did you even do to elicit a reaction this severe?

“Tae? What’s wrong?”

All he did was shake his head in response, not looking into your eyes. You sat next to him, putting a comforting hand onto his lap.

“Tell me. I’m all ears,” you said soothingly.

He heaved in a deep sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Would you hate me if I said that I’d stop fucking other people if I just had you?” he asked slowly, trying to gauge your reaction without directly making eye contact. You were still for a second and finally, some things had started to click in your head. Your palms started sweating.

Finally understanding his words, you pulled your hand away from Taehyung’s lap and scoot a bit farther away from him.

“Tae, I wouldn’t be able to do the same for you,” you said straightforwardly. It was best to be honest in situations like this.

He shook his head and finally lifted his eyes, but he looked in front of him instead of at you.

“And what if I told you I was okay with that?” he gulped.

You sat their stunned, not really knowing what to say in response. Truthfully, you were frightened about the implications of his words. What would this mean for you two? For this no strings attached relationship? It all just felt too overwhelming at that moment.

You stood up, grabbing your purse from the floor, and was about to head to the door until he stopped you by the wrist again. He dragged you back to stand in front of the bed where he sat.

“I don’t want Hana, [Y/N],” he said, tears forming in his eyes. “I want you. Only you."

Your heart raced at his words and turned around to face him. As you stood there, staring down at him, you realized how weak he really seemed at that moment. It hurt you to see him like this, but then again, you should have expected this reaction. He had gotten clingier with you the past few weeks and you were an idiot for not realizing earlier.

Sometimes it was obvious that Taehyung was the more sensitive one out of the two of you, that he was a bit more skeptical of his lifestyle choices. There were times when you’d seen him genuinely heartbroken after getting slapped by girls he’d broken things off with and how he’d send apology texts to the ones he hurt the most. You weren’t like that- more of the type to ghost, the type to block. You couldn’t make an exception for Taehyung, not when Hana was at the dorm preparing her confession of love to him any day now.

“Please stay,” Taehyung croaked, burrying his head onto your long sleeve.

“I can’t Tae,” you said, softly pushing his hand away. “You know I’m not that kind of person.”

Taehyung had started tearing up, his lips forming a scowl. It was the first time you’d ever seen him show such sorrowful emotions. You smiled sadly at him. It felt like you were murdering someone with the way the guilt had completely overtaken your whole body. Staying with him would break Hana’s heart, but leaving him would break Taehyung’s.

In the end, you lose either way.

You grabbed a handkerchief from your purse and dabbed the tears away from his eyes.

“I can’t hurt Hana anymore,” you replied. “And I don’t want to hurt you anymore either. I’m sorry.”

He had started to sob and you handed the piece of cloth to him so he could wipe the tears off himself. You prayed that you wouldn’t regret letting him go, but knowing you, you probably would.

“It was fun being with you,” you said, carefully, not wanting to push any more buttons. “And maybe if I was a different person we could be something more, but...”

You couldn’t really find the energy to finish your sentence as you watched him cry into the handkerchief. Your heart was hurting so, so much. You wanted to take him into your arms, tell him that none of it was his fault and that you’d do anything just to see his twinkly eyes and bright smile once again. But you were reminded once again of that beautiful expression Hana had when she finished her poster-board for Taehyung, how they looked cruising through campus on their bikes with matching helmets. They’d make a great couple, you thought to yourself. Hana had the emotional availability that Taehyung craved for. This was the right thing to do, you thought.

“Let’s stop seeing each other,” you said with a conviction that only a person who was used to saying those words could muster confidently.

He looked up at you with disdain, scrunching his face in pain. He had never had his heart torn quite like this before. Taehyung wondered then if this was how all the other girls felt when he’d leave them. He realized, at that moment, that he might have deserved having his heart broken.

“Please stay,” he said again, his words distorted from the crying.

You shook your head and turned the door knob.

“I can’t,” you replied, tears threatening to spill over as you exited the room.

—

You left his dorm at 4 a.m., successfully evading campus security once again. When you walked towards your own dorm building, you couldn’t help but cry your eyes out. No other break up with the guys in your past had hurt quite like this one, even if you two were just fuck buddies. You didn’t even care about the worried glances people gave you as you passed by, you just wanted to drown in in your sorrows.

You opened the door to your room and Hana was there, reading a book. You composed yourself rather quickly, wiping away your tears before she could notice. Your cheeks were still noticeably puffy, though.

“Where were you?” she asked, taking her eyes off the page she was on to look at the wall clock in the room. “It’s so late, dummy. I stayed up to make sure you were okay since you weren’t answering my calls.”

You gave a fake chuckle.

“You know me,” you teased lightly, with a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Another weekend means a new guy.”

She groaned in response.

“I literally can’t wait until you settle down and be all whipped for someone,” she sighed, turning a page on her book. “That way I can actually make fun of you.”

You choked back a cry and took off your heels, collapsing onto your bed.

“I doubt that’ll happen,” you whispered, before drifting off into sleep.

When had it become so easy for you to lie?

—

A/N: This was so much fun to write!! I really wanted a realistic depiction of a friends with benefits au so I hope this turned out okay. Let me know if yall want a part two!! I wanted to ask this question to you guys: is [Y/N] a bad person? The [Y/N] in this reminds me a lot of myself so hopefully yall dont dislike her too much LMAO Any suggestions for upcoming stories are welcome. Please let me know how you feel about this, I feed off of compliments and criticisms <3 Much love

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peaches-writes · 4 years

Text

of sound memory

skz of christmas day 3: hogsmeade with jeongin

member: jeongin wc: 2k genre: fluff, hogwarts au, best friends / sorta idiots to lovers (?) au, admirer jeongin has one innocent braincell, minho is a legilimens (mind-reader) who’ll willingly wingman for our agibbang warning: explicit language note: inspired by tonk’s character arc from the books just bc shes a badass n shes my fave basically

“I’m quite sure this isn’t legal.” You comment to Jeongin who simply chuckles at you from across the Room of Requirement’s practice room of mirrors. “And I’m also sure that, as a candidate to be prefect next year, you weren’t supposed to let us get swayed to Minho insisting on teaching us this charm.”

Your Gryffindor best friend innocently shrugs, missing the way Minho sends you a teasing wink and grin from behind him. “Yeah but we’re here now and I really want to learn this charm!” Jeongin insists, holding his wand ready in front of him as he gets into the proper stance. “It’d save us a lot of time by next year’s O.W.L. level classes!”

You sigh in exasperation at this, rubbing your temples with one hand as you hold your wand with the other and mirror his stance. “Yeah, but—”

“Think about, Y/N,” Minho points out next, waving his wand around aimlessly as he moves to Jeongin’s right. You make sure to send your most visible glare this way but he simply ignores you. “this is the last time you’ll get tutored by me, your bestest friend and the great Lee Minho, before I graduate and I’m teaching you an important O.W.L. level charm so the two of you can graduate with literal flying colors like me! Besides, no one’s going to get harmed or anything since it’s just you, me, Innie, and a bunch of forest animals!”

You frown in disapproval at this. “Minho, there’s a reason why the last time I allowed you to tutor us was in our freshmen year.”

“But that was four years ago!” The older Slytherin feigns a pout, squinting his eyes at you before telepathically communicating, Anyway, do you want me to teach Jeongin on my own? Just us?

You’re quick to shake your head, maintaining eye-contact to let him read your thoughts. I don’t trust you alone with Innie and charms.

“Alright, then that’s settled! Let’s start!” Minho clasps his hands together briefly before waving his wand in a circular motion right in front of him. “Just copy my wand movements and go: expecto patronum!”

From his wand, wisps of great silver light emerge and take the shape of a cat. Without a dementor in sight, the cat runs around the room aimlessly, brushing up on your leg before climbing up Jeongin’s shoulder and making the two of you ease up and laugh.

“Now, just remember,” Minho reminds firmly, moving his cat back to his side using his wand. “it’s just a simple circular hand movement so focus on the memory! It should be ‘powerful, the happiest you’ve ever felt!’—or at least that’s how professor Park always words it.”

“What do you think of, hyung?” Jeongin asks curiously, mirroring the circular wand movement demonstrated just now while mumbling the incantation under his breath in the meantime.

A small wisp of silver emerges from Jeongin’s own wand but it quickly flickers back into nothing. You do the same but also to similar results while Minho pretends to think of an answer.

“I think about my cats.” Minho answers after a while, gesturing to the patronus cat next to him. “Don’t you think this little one looks like a mix of Soonie, Doongie, and Dori?”

“Looks like a generic cat to me.” You shrug, making Minho frown sarcastically at you.

“Yeah, yeah, tell that to me again when you’ve managed a corporeal patronus.” The older boy rolls his eyes at you before gesturing over to your wand. “Come on, then, I’d like to see you try.”

“Let me think of a memory first!” You argue back, exhaling in exasperation before tearing your eyes away from Minho.

You look around your vast surroundings, old photographs of you and your friends stuck to the dirty mirrors and wrinkled Christmas garlands as Minho had previously requested of the room to help ‘jog your memories,’ until you eventually meet Jeongin’s gaze directly in front of you.

Your best friend quirks a curious eyebrow and smiles.

“Innie, let’s go! Chan said he’s treating us to butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks!” You enter Jeongin’s dormitory unannounced, earning you a random flying shoe on the arm from the dormitory’s no-intruders protocol. Finding your best friend kneeling on the side of his bed, you then furrow your brows and ask, “What are you doing?”

Jeongin belatedly looks up at you with a frown, standing up from the ground and scratching the back of his head. “I think I sort of...lost my permit? I’m not sure...” He pouts, making your eyes widen frantically. “No, wait, don’t get mad! I haven’t searched the whole room yet!”

You shake your head in amusement, assuring him that you’re not mad. “Well, did you actually bring it in the first place?” You try asking next, instinctively approaching his area of the circular room and turning his pillows. “Where do you last remember seeing it?”

Jeongin sighs, rolling his eyes at you before returning on his search under the bed. “I swear I brought it here because Minho even saw it on the train.”

“So where did you last see it?”

“It’s supposed to be in my binder but it’s not there anymore.” Jeongin then whips out his wand from his jean pockets and mutters the accio charm for the permission slip but to no avail. “Damn it.”

“Just keep looking for it, it’ll probably turn up somehow.” You frown, moving to the ground on the other side of his bed now and searching his bedside drawers. “If not then...we’ll just figure that out later. I don’t want to go on my first Hogsmeade trip without you!”

Though the sentiment catches Jeongin off-guard and eventually pushes him to look for his permission slip harder, the two of you would later conclude that it’s not anywhere in his possessions.

With a little convincing (as well as an invisibility cloak and map you stole from Chan’s dorm room), the two of you then end up sneaking out together through the underground tunnels.

“Do you think someone’s sabotaging you?” You suggest on the walk to the Honeydukes tunnel, occasionally glancing over your shoulders for any sign of someone following the two of you while Jeongin holds up the invisibility cloak over your heads. “I mean, it sounds so petty—it’s only a Hogsmeade slip—but, you know, could it be possible?”

Jeongin shrugs, one of his arms draped over your shoulder. “I don’t know.”

“Have you been getting into fights?”

“What? No, I would never!”

You sigh in relief, nudging his side. “Then you must’ve forgotten it on the train, dummy.”

Jeongin opens his mouth to speak, only to get cut off by the distant thuds of small objects falling to the ground. Thinking it was someone following the two of you, he then instinctively pushes you to the side of the tunnels, almost slipping in the process as you averted your gazes in all directions.

“What was that?”

“Innie, shh!” You cover Jeongin’s mouth with your hand, only then growing flustered at this sudden proximity.

The two of you hold your breaths for a while, pressing your backs firmly against the cold stone walls while surveying your empty surroundings. You remember, in particular, hearing the faintest sound of Jeongin’s erratic heartbeat right next to you in the silence which didn’t help your own case as you tried calming your own.

It’s the possibility of getting caught in the restricted areas, you told yourself then.

Fortunately, it was only Jisung and Changbin with gobstone pieces and exploding snap cards in their hands.

“Binnie, do you hear that?” Jisung muses as the two pass by your cloaked figures, stopping right in front of you and looking around.

“Hear what?”

Jeongin shuffles next to you, as if to reveal himself in front of your friends but you’re quick to stop him, grabbing him by the waist and pushing him back to the wall.

He gasps in surprise, eyes widening while his face is momentarily facing away from you.

Jisung, meanwhile, turns around once more, unconsciously meeting yours and Jeongin’s nervous gazes in the process before eventually shrugging. “Nevermind.”

The two then walk ahead of you obliviously, quickly disappearing into a divergent tunnel path that leads to Zonko’s Joke Shop. Once they’re out of earshot, only then do you remove your hand over Jeongin’s mouth and heave a sigh of relief.

You didn’t really have to hide from your friends, trusting that they won’t report you since they’re also using the restricted tunnels themselves. You simply worried about Jisung snitching you again to Minho with your circumstances that could easily be misunderstood.

Being found by your teasing friends with Jeongin under an invisibility cloak on the way to Honeydukes is simply a recipe for disaster.

“That was close.” You mutter under your breath, pushing yourself off of the wall and momentarily removing the invisibility cloak off of your head. “They’ll never hear the end of it.”

"Why were we hiding, anyway?” Jeongin asks with an awkward chuckle, taking the cloak off of his head as well as the two of you resume walking to the Three Broomsticks. “Honestly, I didn’t mind getting caught. It’s just us, anyway.”

You clear your throat awkwardly, emitting an equally awkward laugh. “It’s just...they’ll never let us live it down!” You point out, glancing over your shoulder once more. “They’ll tease us with something crazy again!”

Jeongin reluctantly laughs along, scrunching up his nose cutely in annoyance. “Yeah...you’re probably right.”

And right you were as Minho later ambushes you on the trap door end of the tunnel at Honeydukes, reading everything off of your minds and getting on with his usual teasing on you and Jeongin being a couple.

“Don’t get me wrong, though! I think it’s sweet!” Minho smirks, leading the two of you out into the main shop after ‘confiscating’ your invisibility cloak and map. Apparently, he heard your flustered thoughts ‘echoing from a mile away’ while he was surveying the candies at the shop and decided to investigate. “Who wouldn’t want to miss a first date on the first snow at Hogsmeade, right?”

“It’s already snowing?!” You and Jeongin both exclaimed in surprise, looking out on a nearby window on the stairs going to the main shop and seeing snow stick on the windowsill.

“Just five minutes ago.” Minho shrugs, opening the main shop’s door for you. Winking at you and Jeongin, he then adds, “You two have good intuition! Ah, young love!”

You never heard the end of his teasing as you and Jeongin quickly made a run for it the moment you entered Honeydukes, hands unconsciously finding his while simultaneously stealing a few candies from Minho’s goodie bag.

“It is snow!” Jeongin exclaims once you reach the High Street of Hogsmeade, giggling at the feeling of being able to kick piling snow off the ground. “Look, Y/N! It’s the first snow!”

You follow him gleefully, eating candy and catching the falling snowflakes on your palms.

You’ll never forget his rosy grin and excited giggles from that day as he formed the snow in his hands and ran around without much of a care in the world.

“Did you know,” He points out to you after a while, giggling at a snowflake getting caught up on your blue beanie. Catching it with his fingers and blowing it away to the ground, he continues, “that whoever you’re with on the first snow, you’ll be with them for a long time?”

You knew it very well as you nodded with a smile. Of course you knew, you’ve been hoping to catch the first snow with your best friend. “Do you want to be together for a long time?”

It was an innocent question, of course, but the blush on Jeongin’s face instensified easily. “O-Of course, why wouldn’t I?”

“Expecto patronum!” You finally cast the spell, heart beating erratically once more as your eyes meet Jeongin’s across the room.

In a moment of strength, the same brilliant wisps of silver emerge from your wand and forms a fennec fox that energetically runs around the room.

No shit, Y/N, Minho rolls his eyes at you with a smirk, this whipped behavior is just too obvious.

Shut up, Minho. You frown at him, furrowing your brows even more when the fox quickly disappears. “Innie, how about you try?”

Jeongin, half in a daze all this time at seeing your fox patronus, shakes his head back to reality and fumbles as he agrees, “S-Sure...”

“So...what did they—what did Y/N think about?” Jeongin hesitantly asks in a low voice, gaze trained to the old red carpets lining the hallway back to the Gryffindor quarters and hands picking on the bumps along his wand. “You know, when they...casted the patronus.”

Minho tears his gaze away from his wand, faintly illuminating the path to the moving staircase, to the younger boy who now carries a faint blush on his cheek. “Wouldn’t you like to know, loverboy?” He teases with a chuckle, earning him a childish whine of protest from Jeongin.

“Hyung! That was literally the point of tonight!”

“Eh, well...” Minho winks, jogging ahead before Jeongin could protest further. Turning one last time to the younger boy, he then telepathically communicates, I’ll let you know tomorrow! The Room of Requirement can make up a Pensieve if we ask for it, right? Just wait until then so you can see for yourself!

december 19 (hwang hyunjin)

skz of christmas (masterlist)

m.list

@skzwriternet

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thelavendercrows · 3 years

Text

My Review of Netflix’s Shadow and Bone! (show-only watchers beware, I spoil minor stuff about the books)

So! Shadow and Bone came out - og book fans will know it depicts the story of the first instalment of the Shadow and Bone trilogy, along with new unseen prequel content for Six of Crows. Some things are intentionally shifted around, especially in terms of timeline and who meets who, but if I had to quickly summarise my thoughts: THAT WAS SO GOOD! Sorry in advance if this review is absolutely incomprehensible!!!

Part 1: Characters

Alina - making her more assuredly half-Shu seemed to work, though I can’t speak on the topic as I am a pasty bitch. Otherwise, Alina remained largely the same and I’m here for it - she was already a pretty interesting protagonist imo. Nothing but love for Jessie’s performance, I loved seeing Alina’s growing confidence though I wish there were more training scenes.

Mal - they made him so much more interesting. Archie brought a lot to the character, and even though seeing Mal get fucked up every episode was a tad repetitive, I think it made him far more sympathetic and actually showed us that awful suffering he mentioned in the first book. Seeing his close friends die was just an incredibly powerful scene, and Malina feels a lot stronger with Mal being a more rounded character.

The Darkling - just because I dislike Darklina doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the Darkling as a character. While I dislike that he revealed his true name so casually, that he and Alina seemed to fall for each other so quickly (I liked it better in the book because she had more training scenes, indicating more time had passed for their relationship to develop), and that they removed “the problem with wanting is that it makes us weak” line, I do enjoy Ben’s portrayal of the character. He was rendered a little pathetic by the Crows, but I do love the Crows so I’ll excuse it. Where his character really shined is with the flashback scenes and his interactions with Baghra. I’m very interested to see what they do with him next.

Kaz - a lot of people have said Kaz is a lot softer than we’re used to. I agree, but it makes sense. Kaz was that mean but well meaning leader at the start of Six of Crows - he was only made harsher as he was forced to confront his traumas, and go on a difficult heist. Also, I think it gives a bit of context to why he and Inej end up having feelings for each other. We know in the books that they worked closely together for a long time, but actually seeing those moments makes all the difference. Freddy did an amazing job showing Kaz’s rough exterior battling his inner demons.

Inej - amazing, 10/10, can’t applaud Amita enough. I’m not sure about the choice to give Inej a brother? It could cause more grief later but it’s another weirdly jarring difference from the book. However! Inej was done perfectly in the show in my opinion. We see her stealth, knife and acrobatic skills, we see her initial horror at taking her first kill (amazing scene) and her motivations and religious beliefs are not ignored in favour of pairing her off with Kaz immediately. I do wish they kept Kaz gifting her that knife instead of Alina though. I always wanted to see that scene.

Jesper - DID YOU MEAN STAR OF THE GOD DAMN SHOW? Normally a comedic relief character has me rolling my eyes, but it makes all the difference that Jesper actually has troubles and flaws and motivations and HILARIOUS DIALOGUE. I love him. Kit Young did such a good job, he played Jesper perfectly and I also love the foreshadowing of Wylan’s appearance! Love love love Jesper. A+. Also he is bisexual look at him go!!! Representation!!!

Others: NINA AND MATTHIAS ARE AMAZING!!! ENEMIES TO LOVERS A+ EVEN IF THE TIMELINE IS ALL WEIRD. David and Genya. My loves. Perfect. A+ as well. Nadia, amazing. Very gay. Not sure why they killed Marie off like that. Pekka is scary but why did they make him kinda hot? Milo is my hero. I would die for Fedyor. ZOYA?? That is not my Zoya. Why did they make her say something racist to Alina when she herself is mixed race. Zoya would never. But all the actors did a great job even if the characters were a little different.

Part 2: Plot

The rest of these parts should be shorter. So, the plot is mostly the same in terms of Shadow and Bone, but the stuff for the crows is all new and some parts of the story were changed to include them. While the crows on their own were amazing, I think the parts where they interacted with the Shadow and Bone cast felt forced and added some good moments at best, or actively damaged other characters at worst. For instance, Inej witnessing Alina was amazing. But Kaz outsmarting the Darkling, while it made sense, just lessened the Darkling as a threat. Otherwise I think everything was really good! The new Crows stuff was brilliant on its own, even if Nina and Matthias’ story was moved forward I still adored it, and Shadow and Bone stayed loyal enough to the books in terms of plot to remain engaging.

Part 3: Worldbuilding

My main concern about the show was how they would handle the language differences, but they did a great job. Like, they had Fjerdans speak in their own language, they made a new alphabet for Ravkan? I think they know what they’re doing. Seeing the Crows and the Shadow and Bone cast communicate in the same language didn’t really make sense but that’s just a nitpick.

Also, all the settings look amazing. Not much to say, they’re just great.

Part 4: Effects

Music, perfect, visuals, great (the volcras look amazing but Alina’s light power looked a little...fake), costume design and props, best I’ve ever seen. Enough said.

Part 5: Final thoughts

When a book is adapted into a show or film, I usually just assume that it will serve its purpose, maybe be a little frustrating or terrible at worst, and go. Shadow and Bone though, it adapts the books faithfully while still including worthwhile changes. It isn’t perfect, but it comes close. I imagine show-only watchers will like it a lot.

Alternative take: Jesper and Milo carried the whole thing. Goodbye.

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sunflowergirl522 · 4 years

Text

Runaway: That Was Easy

Pairing: Tiefling!Bucky x Elf!Reader

Summary: Bucky takes a lot of jobs to make a living and this one was no different. Except for the fact that it’s for an elf prince and elves tend to avoid him in general. He accepts and with Sam and Steve they start their journey to find the elf prince’s runaway bride.

Word Count: 1792

Warnings: Language (if there’s anything else let me know)

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

“Someone’s looking for you!” Sif announces as she barges in through the door of the dwarfs cottage.

“What?” You had been eating and laughing with Thor, Volstagg and Brunnhilde before she came in. Her words make the four of you to stop mid conversation. All heads turn to her in confusion.

“I just ran into a halfling at La Luna. He said that he and his friends are looking for an elf princess. There’s three of them in total and I haven’t seen any other elf princesses around lately.”

“Did he say why?” You stand up not sure how to react to the news.

“No but his friends were talking to the bartender and you know how loose his lips can be.”

“They could be right behind you.” Volstagg stands up in such a rush that he knocks his chair over. Sif just nods in response to him. Why would anyone be actively looking for you? You’re sure you haven’t made any enemies in all your years. And the moon elves have no quarrel with anyone; they just live in peace.

“Milady you should leave. We can cover for you, tell them you never came here.” Thor looks over to you and then goes to help Volstagg pack up supplies for you.

“They could be dangerous, I can’t leave you all to lie for me. If anything happened I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.”

“We’ll be fine Y/n. You must go especially in case they’re dangerous.” Brunnhilde adds a few things to the pack while speaking to you. Thor comes over to you with the pack and your cloak in his hands to give them to you. You didn’t come to them with much, just the clothes on your back and a couple daggers. The dwarves are kind though and packed you up some food and some axes for your journey. Brunnhilde had gone back to town yesterday to get you new clothes that you’re sure you’ll change into the first chance you get.

“Tell the others I said goodbye?” Thor nods at you and starts to lead you to the back door.

“Farewell sweet maiden!” Volstagg yells out to you and you smile.

“Take care of yourself princess. I hope our paths may cross again.”

“You as well Thor. Thank you all for everything.” You kiss his forehead in thanks and exit the cottage while pulling your hood up. You walk a bit into the woods before climbing up a tree and traveling from branch to branch to get to a tree in front of the cottage. You get close enough to see the door but stay deep enough that no one should be able to see you without purposely looking for you. You sit there for a while just waiting for someone to show up at the cottage. And then you hear them before you see them.

“Maybe they’ll have some food we can have.”

“Is that all you think about?”

“Only when somebody doesn’t let me eat before dragging me out of town.” You can see three characters approach the cottage from your hiding spot. These must be the people Sif was talking about. You sit back and watch the human and the hooded one speak to Brunnhilde. The halfling asks something and Brunnhilde turns to say something to someone inside. While she does that the hooded one looks down at him with what you’re assuming is a glare. You hold in a laugh as Volstagg brings out a basket of food and hands it to the halfling. The joy you got from that is quickly replaced with panic when the hooded one barges into the dwarves home. You get into a crouched position ready to help defend them if need be. The human and halfling stay outside and you think you see the human apologize. Lip reading was never your forte though.

You let out a sigh as the hooded one comes out while packing something away and walks straight back to the woods. The halfling follows him and the human stays back to say something to Brunnhilde before following as well. You decide to follow them from above to see if you can find out why they’re looking for you.

“Why are you always so rude? This is why everyone hates you.” The halfling must have caused something to snap in the hooded one because he stops before quickly turning to his friend.

“No everyone hates me because of what I am!” He rips his hood off to reveal the blue tiefling underneath. Your eyes go wide and you catch yourself leaning forward on the branch to try to get a better look.

“Alright you two, all that really matters is that we don’t hate you. Now what did you get from the dwarves?” The human steps in between the two men and seems to calm down the tiefling a bit.

“Well it seems the princess was definitely there. I found a crown, they said she traded it to them but I know enough to know that princes and princesses don’t just do that.” He pulls your crown out and holds it out hooked on one finger. You let out a small gasp at the reveal and put a hand on your head to feel for it. How could you be so stupid to leave it behind. “My plan is to loop around the cottage to see if there’s a back exit and then see which way she went.” You have to think quick as he leads them off the main path. You don’t want them to bother your dwarf friends anymore. You make your next moves without putting that much thought into them.

A dagger flys through the air and misses Bucky by an inch before lodging itself in the tree next to him. He jumps back ready for a fight and grabs one of the long swords on his back. Steve takes hold of his bow and reaches back to grab an arrow. And Sam lets out a small yell and jumps behind Steve's legs out of, what he’ll call later, shock. A cloaked figure lands in front of them, coming from the trees. Their hood is up hiding whoever they are from the view of the trio.

“Who are you and why are you looking for the princess?” Their voice is feminine yet intense and threatening. They hold an axe in their hand and point it at the trio as they ask.

“Who are you and why do you think that’s any of your business?” Bucky takes a step forward and moves to a crouching position.

“I asked first you first tiefling.” Bucky snarls at the figure and is just itching for a fight. “You answer my questions and I'll be glad to return the favor.” Steve steps in front of Bucky to put something between the two to try and prevent a fight from happening at all.

“Let’s all calm down now. I’m Steve, that’s Sam, and this is Bucky. I’m sure that we can all get along.”

“Well why are you looking for the princess, Steve?”

“We were hired to. Are you looking for her as well?”

“You could say that I am, yes.”

“Um Steve did the prince say anything about hiring anyone else when he came to us?” Sam takes a step forward scratching his head in confusion.

“Prince?” The hooded figures question goes unnoticed by Steve and Sam but Bucky hears it. It peaks his curiosity and he tilts his head a bit.

“He didn’t say anything about anyone else but he seemed desperate enough to.”

“Woah woah hold on a second. What prince?” The woman's voice is full of confusion and that itself confuses Steve.

“Oh you know, sun elf, doesn’t know fucking anything about the princess, pretty damned arrogant bastard if you ask me.” The hooded figure looks down at Bucky’s words and the trio watches as she seems to figure out who they’re talking about.

You look down to wrap your head around the situation and try to come to terms with it. Why on Earth would he send a fucking search party after you? You left him a fucking note. You take a deep breath before letting out an annoyed shriek and throwing the axe at a tree close to you.

“That self entitled, spoiled, dandelion eating, scorpion prick!” Your voice drops the veil of being threatening and returns to it’s normal sound. Bucky’s eyes widen but he can’t stop the smirk forming on his face knowing someone else thinks of the prince the way he does. He looks to Steve and Sam to see the same confused look on both of their faces. As you’re pulling the axe out of the tree your hood falls from your head, revealing you to the others.

Sam’s mouth drops open and he lets out a small woah at seeing you. “You’re the princess.” You blow a strand of hair out of your face and put the axe back in the holder on your pack before looking back at the group of men in front of you.

“Yeah alright you got me. I’m the princess I’d prefer if you called me Y/n though, and gave me back my crown. Please and thank you.” You walk up to Bucky and hold out your hand waiting for your property to be returned.

“He said you were kidnapped.”

“As you can see Steve I’m not. I’m safe and sound so you can go tell him I’m fine and not to worry. I’ll just need my crown and then we never have to see each other again.”

“Bucky I swear if you give her that crown I-” Bucky wraps his tail around Sam’s mouth to shut him up.

“That’s not gonna happen princess. We gotta deliver you to him. You’re only getting this crown once you get us to his kingdom.” His words spark an idea in your head. You huff to play along with not wanting to go.

“Fine, lead the way.”

“You see we don’t exactly know the way. We were hoping once we found you, you’d be able to get us there.” You turn to Steve and nod in understanding.

“Okay then follow me.” You take your dagger out of the tree and place it back in it’s holster on your thigh while keeping eye contact with Bucky the whole time, completely missing Sam all but faint at the action. You then lead the way back to the path smiling to yourself once your back is turned from the trio. Steve follows carrying a frozen Sam over his shoulder and Bucky hesitates. He can’t help but feel that this whole thing was a little too easy.

Permanent Taglist: @starbxcks

Series Taglist: @poppunkdork @mariah-vg

Taglist is open!!!!!

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #fantasy au #Tiefling!bucky #runaway

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flamencodiva · 4 years

Text

Getting Back to You 2 - Forgive Me

Description: Amaya Campos and Dean Winchester had a playful rivalry. what happens when Dean is no longer her Dean. Will this change make one of them realize what they really desire, or will they continue to keep secrets?

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Amaya Campos (Original Female Character) , AU Dean Winchester x AU Amaya Campos

Warnings: Language, Violence, Smut, Fluff, Angst

Word Count For Series: 100K+ words

Beta: @superfanficnatural

Book Cover by @talesmaniac89

A/N: Special thanks to - @crashdevlin @atc74 @smol-and-grumpy @winchest09 @waywardbeanie @deanwanddamons @malfoysqueen14 @emoryhemsworth @janicho88 @jensengirl83 @whatareyousearchingfordean @katehuntington @anathewierdo and to all my friends who listen to me ramble about my writing. your words of encouragement mean the world to me! Without you I don’t think I could have found the courage to come back and share what I love most to do, WRITE.

A/N 2: SURPRISE! Decided to post it early so I hope you guys enjoy!

Getting Back To You Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Amaya placed her box on the bed. She had just finished moving into the Bunker permanently, taking room 20 for herself. Being right next to Sam made things easier when Dean was just down the hall.

"Is that all you got?"

Dean's voice made her jump towards him before a small wave of relief washed over her face.

"I mean, what more do I need, right?" she shrugged. "Almost everything I own is either in my duffle or in a storage unit."

"You could always move it here," Dean offered. "How does a nice night out at a bar sound?"

"It sounds good," she breathed. "Could use the time to get plastered before beating you at another bet."

"Oh, sweetheart," Dean licked his lips before crossing his arms. "That witch hunt was just a fluke. I'll win the next one, just you wait."

"Yeah, yeah," Amaya waved him off as she grabbed a few of her clothes and made her way to the bathroom they all had to share. "I'm going to shower and change. I'll meet you in half an hour?"

"Yeah, sounds good," Dean walked with her to the bathroom and placed his hand on her shoulder, making her look up at him.

"Yeah?" she raised an eyebrow at him.

"I figure," he cleared his throat, "we can eat someplace before we get down to drinking."

"Sure," she nodded her head. "Sam joining us?"

"I'm sure I can persuade him," Dean smiled.

With a laugh, Amaya walked inside and closed the door. Dean could hear the soft click of the lock before he turned around and made his way to Sam's room. Running a hand across his face, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. The witch hunt seemed a little too easy for his liking. Lifting his fist, he was about to knock when Sam abruptly opened the door.

"No," was all his brother said.

"You don't even know what I'm going to ask," Dean argued.

"You were going to ask if I would come out with you and Amaya," Sam crossed his arms and leaned on the door frame.

Dean scoffed and gave his brother his best bitch face, "Was not. I mean, eventually, I would have, but I was going to ask if that witch hunt seemed a little too easy."

"Yeah, sure," Sam shook his head. "When it comes to the hunt—" Sam rubbed his hand across his stubbled cheek, "I'm looking into the incantation the witches were chanting. So far, I've been able to translate part of it."

"So, what were you able to translate?" Dean moved aside as Sam walked out of his room and made his way to the kitchen.

"Not much," Sam grabbed the notepad from the kitchen table as his eyes looked over his writing. "What I've translated so far is," he gave a slight squint "’We call upon the ancient powers, to hear our call, feel our power. Across time and space, let the souls switch.’"

Dean raised an eyebrow at his brother as he thought about the words, "’Let the souls switch?’ Which souls?"

"I don't know, but I'm going to keep looking into it," Sam grabbed a mug and poured himself a drink. "Dean, just wing it, or pick up a chick and have fun with Amaya like you always do."

"Sam," Dean sighed, "You know why I keep my distance. This life—" he ran a hand across his face, "this life is not easy, and the last thing I need is another stain on my soul. I don't need guilt when I can't protect her."

"She's not like your other loves, Dean," Sam pointed out. "She's a hunter. She was born a hunter. We’ve known her our whole lives. Dean, she's a legacy like us." Sam grabbed another folder he had out on the table and showed it to his brother, "Her grandfather was a Man of Letters just like ours."

"What?" Dean found the name of Amaya's grandfather highlighted by Sam, with a detailed explanation of his death.

"So just like our Dad," Sam sighed. "Amaya's dad lost his dad the same way. He was killed by Abaddon."

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat at learning the information. He looked at Sam; he knew his brother was right. Amaya wasn't like Cassie or Lisa, she was a hunter; she knew the risks, knew what the job entailed. Then again, so was Jo, but unlike Amaya, he remembered Jo came in late into the hunting game. She may have been a hunter, but she hadn’t really lived the life long enough, and could he really see his best friend and rival get hurt in his arms? It was bad enough when he was keeping his distance, but in revealing his feelings he felt it would just make it worse. He was already worried about her, how much would that change if he let himself feel what he'd been bottling up? Besides, all three of his relationships had something in common: they’d all loved him, and he loved them. In some form or another, he brought bad luck upon the many women he loved.

"Hey," Amaya's voice cut through his thoughts as the sound of her heels echoed in the kitchen. "We ready to go?"

Dean felt his breath get caught in his throat at how she dressed. She stood in her skin tight jeans that hugged her legs with a tube top and fishnet shirt combo that showed off her toned stomach and her perfect breasts. Her leather jacket hung on her shoulders as she stood to almost Dean's height in her four-inch black heels.

"Uhhhh—" Dean lost the use of his voice as he looked at her. His jeans felt a little tighter as he imagined peeling off all of her clothes.

Sam walked up and slapped Dean upside the head, making the older man glare at his younger brother.

"Dean's ready to go," Sam took a sip of his drink. "I'm staying in to try and make sense of the spell that the witches were conjuring."

"Oh Sammy," She walked over to him and gave him a gentle pat on his cheek. "If you don't use it, you will lose it."

Dean chuckled, the sass coming from Amaya snapping him out of his daze.

"She's right, Sam," Dean rolled his shoulders and winked at Amaya. "You don't use what you got, it might just shrivel up, much like all the rabbit food you don't eat that ends up going bad."

"Hey," Sam frowned as he gave Amaya his bitch face. "Just because I don't go out with you two—" he pointed to his brother and Amaya, "doesn't mean I don't get any. I just know how to keep you two from finding out."

Dean cleared his throat and adjusted himself. With a roll of his shoulders, he walked up to his brother and Amaya.

"Well, let's leave Sammy here to keep hitting the books," Dean said as he put his hands in his pockets. He stopped himself from touching Amaya, scared that he would do something they would both regret.

"Lead the way Dean-o," she chuckled, giving his shoulder a slight punch before standing aside to let him walk first.

Back in the other Universe, Henry Winchester surveyed the damage done by Hecate. He looked at his grandsons, who were assessing the best course of action. With a deep breath, he walked over to them.

"It seems this was all planned out," Henry said as he placed his hands in the pockets of his suit as he walked towards the trio.

"We are sorry, sir," Amaya apologized immediately as she stood straight, ignoring the feel of the sticky liquid seeping through her clothes.

"Amaya," Dean's voice sounded surprised as he saw the large gash on her side. "Infirmary, now."

"I'm fine," she waved him off as Henry came closer to them.

"Amaya—" Dean began.

"Dije que estoy bien," she growled and looked at him. "If anyone should be in the infirmary, it's you. You have a large gash on your head and multiple lacerations on your arms and chest."

Dean had to smirk at what she noticed. They had been hunting since they were both sixteen, thrust together at the academy they were both now instructors in. Looking at his grandfather, Dean could tell the old man was not in the least bit angry. This was just another curveball in the hunting game.

"Both of you head down to the infirmary and have Eileen look after the pair of you," Henry ordered be for he turned his attention to Sam. "Is there anything from the video feed from before we stormed the warehouse that we can use to investigate?"

"I have my team looking into it," Sam said as he looked around. "So far, they were able to stay hidden from the camera angle. I have no idea how that happened."

"I need you to work on it while they recover," Henry sighed and looked between Amaya and Dean. "Speaking of recovering—" he used his cane to walk over to them. "You two, infirmary now! I am going to be grounding you from hunts until you heal completely."

"Yes sir," they echoed. Both of them giving each other a slight glare.

A few hours and a couple of stitches later, Dean and Amaya had made their way to their apartment, where a happy German Shepherd greeted them.

"Zep," Dean warned, "Down."

The dog gave a slight whine as he stopped his motions and laid down by the couch.

"That's our good boy, Zep," Amaya praised as she gave the dog a generous pat on his head.

"You going to tell me why you refused to head to the infirmary when I told you to?" Dean asked as he grabbed a beer from the fridge, looking at his fiancée.

"Easy," she said and gave him a slight shrug. "I was perfectly fine. I was more concerned with you and the fact that we are now dealing with a goddess."

"Amaya," Dean sighed as he made his way to her.

He held her hand in his before pulling her to him, her body between his legs as he sat on one of the bar stools. Setting the beer down, he used his now free hand to cup her face.

"Dean," she whispered as he brought her forehead against his.

"I know you are strong, but we have had one too many close calls between us," Dean admitted and lifted his head slightly as he placed feather kisses along her face, avoiding her lips.

"Tease," she whispered before his lips crashed into hers in a heated kiss.

The world seemed to stop around them as Dean pressed her body flush against his. He would give anything to stay with her, but Hecate's words resonated in his mind. She had warned him that he had time to be with Amaya, but how much time did he have left?

Dean moved his lips down her jaw towards her ear. He nipped at her earlobe, before moving down to kiss the sweet spot on her neck. It was the one Dean knew drove her wild. He smirked against her skin when she let out a low, lust-filled moan.

"I don't ever want to lose you, Amaya," Dean muttered against her skin as he pulled her blouse open. The buttons flew across the room.

"You're lucky I have about fifty of these," she moaned, raking her fingers through his hair as he kissed down to the valley between her breasts.

His face nestles deep between them as he left open mouth kisses along her skin. Reaching behind her, he undid the clasp of her bra, freeing her bosom from its constricting grip. Amaya sucked in a sharp breath as his lips sealed around her nipple, his tongue licking as his mouth sucked gently on it. Her fingers moved from his head to his shirt. Quickly unbuttoning his shirt, she let her fingers caress his shoulder as it's removed from its owner and tossed on the floor.

"Always knew you were a boob man," Amaya teased as she pulled his face away from her chest, bringing her lips towards his in a searing kiss.

It didn't take long before Dean had Amaya wholly naked and on the island counter of their kitchen, his head between her legs, tongue lapping up at her juices. The sounds she was making were music to his ears. She was tart and sweet all at the same time as his lips surrounded her clit, sucking on her pulsating nub. Her fingers pulling at his hair just the way he liked it.

"Shit, babe," she moaned. "Your tongue feels so good. You are a damn god with it."

Dean smirked against her wet core as he moved to press his fingers into her. She was nice and warm, making his cock throb against his pants. He continued his ministrations, feasting on her pussy as she pulled at his short hairs. The taste of her driving him wild as he felt her walls flutter as her orgasm hit.

"Fuck," She cursed. Her legs quivered as Dean helped her ride through it.

Amaya hadn't come down from her euphoric high when he undid his belt and made quick work of removing his pants. Dean pumped himself a few times as he looked at her dripping cunt. The sight made him moan before he eased his tip into her.

"Shit, Amaya," he breathed and caressed her cheek before pulling her in for a kiss. "Your pussy feels so good."

"Dean," she whispered. Her fingernails scratching at his back as he thrust his hips. "Fuck," she gasped just as she felt the anticipation build-up.

"You going to cum again, Baby? Going to coat my cock with your cum?" he growled as he snaked his hand between them. His thumb found her clit drawing small circles on the sensitive nub.

"Dean," she moaned, her nails digging into his back as she fluttered around him.

Her legs shook as she orgasmed. Dean grunted and groaned as he snapped his hips, skin on skin echoing around the apartment. Zep looked at his owners, fucking on the counter, head tilted, watching as his owners moved as one. Meanwhile, Dean dug his fingers into Amaya's hips, leaving marks on her skin. She loved it when he marked her as it sent her over the edge again, just feeling his possessive nature, the sensation of him never wanting to let her go. At the same time, she pulled him close to her, her own fingers digging into his flesh, the fear of losing him surfacing in her thoughts. And yet, the sound he made as she rolled his hips brought her out of the negative haze. He felt perfect inside her, filled her just right.

Dean gave another groan as his hips met hers. His lips kissed along any skin he could reach, the smell of her lavender perfume calming him as the image of the ruble almost crushing her tried to push their way through. He couldn’t lose her, couldn’t even imagine what his life would be like without her. He could feel her walls clenching around him again and he gave one last grunt before he came, filling her to the brim with his seed. His mouth devoured hers as he stayed buried inside her until he began to soften.

"Fuck, baby," Dean chuckled. "We need to go on assignment more often."

Amaya playfully slapped his shoulder. "Going on assignment has nothing to do with our chemistry."

Dean helped her off the counter, placing her gently in front of him, his arms wrapped around her, pulling her in for another deep kiss.

"I love you, Amaya," he muttered against her lips. "If anything happens to me, you move on, okay?"

"Hey, where did this come from?" she pulled back to look into his green eyes.

"Just— just something that the goddess said," Dean looked down at the floor. "She mentioned that I need to spend my time with you wisely and—"

"Nothing is going to happen to you," Amaya held on to his face. "Sam will figure out what the witches were up to."

"This is something we've never dealt with before," Dean said as he cupped her face and caressed her cheek with his thumb. "If anything were to happen, if you can't fix it— just let me go?"

"Fat chance," Amaya scoffed. "No way in hell I am ever giving up on getting you back, Dean. Now, let's forget about this, go to bed, and in the morning we teach the future hunters of tomorrow."

Dean took in a deep breath, gazing deeply into her eyes. He could feel himself taking in all her features: the shape of her face, the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled, how her hair framed her face. He pulled her in for another heated kiss. Their tongues clashed as he lifted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as he began to feel aroused again.

"Babe," she muttered against his lips.

"Can't help it, Sweetheart," he teased with a smirk "I'm hot for teacher."

The sound of her laughter filled the apartment, followed by Dean's soft chuckle. The night was spent with laughs and moans echoing in their home. Before long, both hunters were asleep in each other's arms.

Dean awoke sometime later, not able to sleep anymore. Amaya's soft snores filled the room. Looking down at her, he gently moved her hair out of her face. He smiled a bit when she leaned into his touch. He remembered when he first met Amaya. Her grandfather had brought her to the academy, she was thirteen at the time. Dean had decided that she was probably a snooty spoiled princess, but in the end, Amaya had him on his back as she straddled him, blade at his throat. It was one of his fondest memories. After that, he had tried to always one-up Amaya, but every time he found himself on his back, it made him want her even more. She was independent, smart, and always called him out on his shit. Glancing at the clock, he sighed when he realized he woke up before their alarm. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he gently moved away from her, careful not to wake Amaya. He could hear Zep whining as he made his way to the kitchen to start brewing their coffee. As he set the timer for the coffee to brew, he looked over at Zep, who lay by the sliding glass door to be let out to their tiny backyard.

"Okay, okay," Dean groaned and gave a small smile as he gave Zep a pat on the head before letting the dog out to do his business.

Leaning against the open door frame, he watched as Zep moved around the small plot of land to find the right spot to mark. He never noticed Amaya had woken up. With Zep coming in, Dean turned to see Amaya holding out his favorite mug filled with coffee.

"I see you woke up before the alarm today," she breathed before she caressed his cheek before planting a kiss on his lips.

"What can I say," he acknowledged and gave a soft shrug. "I was anxious to get back in the classroom."

"Eso lo llamo mierda," Amaya scoffed. ( I call that bullshit.)

"What?" Dean mocked as he wrapped his arms around her. "I love my classes. The kids are into learning all the strategies for a good hunt. They’re working on what to look for when hunting a ghost. I think they're ready to move on to poltergeists."

"Really?" she probed while she raised an eyebrow at her fiancé. "Well, My advanced lore kids are already moving up to Demons and Latin incantations," she let her fingers dance across his chest.

"Well, you do have the students that tested into research," Dean reminded her before capturing her lips with his.

"Si seguimos, vamos a estar tarde," she whispered. (If we keep going, we're going to be late.)

Dean groaned. He hated it when she was right.

"Me voy a vestir," he sighed and pressed his forehead against hers. "I also have wrestling try-outs to oversee this afternoon." (I’m going to get dressed.)

"Just don't pop your stitches coach," She chuckled and gave him a playful slap on his ass as he walked back to the room to get dressed for work.

Back in the original universe, Dean looked over at Amaya as he drove them to the local dive bar. He glanced every now and then towards her. The way she bobbed her head to the music made him smile. He was finding it harder and harder to find an excuse to stay away from her. If he pulled away too much, he was risking hurting her as a friend, but if he didn't hold himself back, he’d slip up, and she could be cursed with dying all because he was in love with her.

"So," she broke the deafening silence. "How are we doing this?"

"Doing what?" Dean questioned as he shifted in his seat, driving with one hand on the wheel while the other was casually resting on the open window frame.

"Well," Amaya began and rolled her shoulders, trying to relieve the tension in them. "Que vamos hacer? (What are we doing?) Are we going to hook up with different people? Are we going to hustle some frat boys at pool? I mean, what's the game plan?"

"I was thinking just," Dean trailed off a bit and licked his lips, "drinking and hanging out."

Amaya raised her eyebrow at him, "Okay, what is going on? You usually want to have the hottest girl at the bar hanging all over you."

Dean parked the car and turned to her. He didn't have a chance to continue before she was out of the car waiting for him. Getting out, he jogged slightly towards her.

"What can I say," he sighed and gave a slight shrug. "What if, just for tonight, we stress relief together. No strings."

"No strings?" Amaya asked and opened the door to the bar and made her way to the counter. She sat on the barstool and ordered herself two red-headed slut shots for herself and whiskey for Dean. "I can handle that."

"I know it's—wait, what?!" Dean snapped his head in her direction as she knocked back her shot. "You-you are okay with what I suggested?"

"Yeah, porque no?" Amaya shrugged. "I mean, what do we have to lose, right? I scratch your back, you scratch mine. Who better to make me feel good than the meat man," she smirked.

"Oh, fuck, Amaya! You are not going to let that go are you," Dean knocked his own shot back before slamming the glass on the bar top. It was something that Dean had let slip out on a drunken tirade, he had heard it from someone and figured it described him perfectly. After all, he was a guy who did love eating meat, and then Amaya had to look up the term on Urban Dictionary and laugh at how he used it. "How about we play some pool, hustle some money and then have some," Dean licked his lips before leaning in and stealing a kiss from Amaya, "fun."

Amaya bit her bottom lip when he pulled away. Her brown eyes gazed into his green ones. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She had always dreamed of this but never acted on it. She knew the risks, but she had to keep her feelings in check.

"Bueno, que estas esperando?" (Well, what are you waiting for?) She downed her second shot and looked at him. "If we're going to do this, you need to learn to relax. Besides, it's not the first time we've fucked, remember?" she let her fingers dance along with his shirt. "Gringo, let's see how much money we can make."

Dean let out a chuckle, reminiscing about the time they had a few drinks after a celebrated wolf hunt. Three drinks turned into a make-out session in the alley, followed by stumbling into her room, then a glorious night of fucking until the sun came up. When he woke up, she was gone and left a note that said thanks for the help and stress relief.

Dean shook out his thoughts as she pulled away and walked towards the pool tables, her hips swaying. Dean tilted his head, watching her leave. He licked his lips, wondering what it would be like to have her ass bouncing on his cock. Shaking the thought out of his head, he made his way to her as they picked out the best suckers to hustle. It didn't take long to find some frat boys who were too tipsy for their own good.

"Hey Mama," one of them said, "Why don't you ditch this guy and hang out with us?"

"We can really make you see stars. Besides, you're Latina, right?" The other one interjected. "I'm sure we can make a mean salsa in the bedroom."

Amaya bit her cheek from lashing out and giggled stiffly. "Ay Gringo," she shook her head. "Dudo que vas a poder a hacerme ver estrellas." (I doubt you can make me see stars.) Amaya walked up to one of them, her knife concealed before placing it on his crotch. "The only guy making me see stars or as you put it, helping me make a mean salsa in the bedroom…" she tilted her head, "is the guy I'm with. Entendiste?" (Understand?)

The frat boy nodded while his friend seemed to swallow a lump in his throat. With that settled, Dean and Amaya wiped the floor with the frat boys making off with at least $5,000. With a laugh, Amaya and Dean made their way to the Impala. Dean pressed her up against the passenger door. His fingers found their way under her fishnet top, squeezing her hip.

Amaya moaned into his kiss, "Papi," (Daddy) she whispered. "You gonna make me feel good, Winchester?"

"Oh, it's a promise, Campos," Dean said as he gave her a devilish grin.

The drive back to the Bunker was filled with teasing and moans. Dean's cock was rock hard as Amaya teased him. Amaya's panties soaked through her pants as Dean teased her with what he was going to do to her. The minute the car was parked in the garage, Amaya climbed onto Dean's lap straddling him.

"Amaya," he breathed. "We should move this to my room."

"Y que? (And what?) Give up a chance to make out like teenagers in a sexy car?" she grinned before nipping at his earlobe. "Tienes miedo?"

"M--Mi-eh-dough?" Dean raised an eyebrow at her.

"You scared?" Amaya clarified with a roll of her eyes.

Dean scoffed as he removed her leather jacket from her shoulders, revealing her fishnet top with her tube top under it. "I'm not… are you not wearing a bra?"

"Wow," Amaya chuckled. "That's one way to distract you." she smiled before capturing his lips in a searing kiss.

"Fuck, Maya," Dean placed his hands on either side of her face. "You are as sexy as fuck."

"Tell me something I don't know," she sassed.

With a sly smile, she rolled her hips, pressing up against his erection. She could feel Dean take in a sharp breath before pulling away from her, pupils lust blown as he tried to control himself.

"I really want to take you to my room Maya, please?" He found himself begging.

"En Español," she teased.

"Campos, don't ruin the mood!" Dean growled as he reached into her shirt, squeezing her breast. His thumb rolling over her erect nipple.

"Español, Winchester," she reiterated, grabbing at his short hair, giving it a tug, earning a strangled moan from the hunter.

"Pour Fa-vour," he groaned.

"Nice accent," she teased. "Since you asked so nicely and even said please."

As quick as lightning, she had gotten off his lap and out of the car. Dean stayed shocked for a minute before jumping out after her. By the time he reached room eleven, he had found her in just her panties lying on his bed, legs sprawled. Her fingers played with her clit through her panties. Dean stood there, mouth slightly open at the sight of her fingering herself, her moans, music to his ears.

"Que esperas, gringo?" (What are you waiting for, whiteboy?) she smiled as she ran a hand along her breast, pinching her nipple between her fingers.

"Fuck Amaya," Dean pulled off his jacket and flannel in one swoop.

His hand worked on his belt before unbuttoning his pants and pulling down his zipper. By then, Amaya had shimmied out of her underwear, giving him a good view of her glistening heat. Dean had let out a low growl before licking his lips and striding towards her. His head buried between her legs as he flattened his tongue against her opening.

"Fuck, Dean!" she hissed when he began sucking on her clit. "You really know how to drive a girl loca."

Dean chuckled against her entrance before plunging his tongue into her dripping hole along with his fingers, curling them as she squirmed against him. He let out a moan when Amaya ran her fingers through his hair, giving it a short tug.

"Someone loves their hair pulled," Amaya moaned as his fingers curled and pressed on her g-spot. "Papi, dame lo todo."

"Want me to give you everything, huh?" Dean chuckled. "I'll give it to you… Mami."

Amaya gasps as he continued his ministrations. The coil in her belly snapping as she came on his mouth and fingers. Dean lapping up at her juices, making her moan and scream some more as he made her cum a second time. Amaya had just started to come down from her high when Dean thrust into her waiting cunt.

Their bodies moving as one as they swallowed each other's moans and screams in a heated kiss. They both chased their release, holding and nipping at one another as Dean's thrusts stilled as he spilled into her. Amaya's thighs shook with her own orgasm as she pulled Dean close to her body. Dean groaned as he fell next to her, holding her tight.

"That was nice," he chuckled.

"Yeah," Amaya sighed. "Sleep time."

"Night, Maya," Dean kissed the top of her head.

"Night, Gringo," she whispered.

Dean made sure that Amaya was sleeping before looking down at her. Closing his eyes, he made his decision. Dean had to keep her safe, even if it meant breaking her heart just a bit. Moving the stray hairs out of her face, he leaned in and gave her one last kiss on her temple.

"Forgive me, Maya. I just can't have you put in danger because of me," holding her close, he drifted off to sleep none the wiser at what the witches spell had in store for him.

Chapter 3

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A Note on the Use of Distance, Or: The Evolution of Nines's and Gavin's Relationship as Seen Through Body Language and Physical Proximity, Or: Sparrow Writes 6k About DE That Is Literally Just a Narrative Analysis

Apologies in advance, this is gonna be a long one. If you stick to it and read the whole thing, I will love you forever. (Also, @domlerrys, I’m tagging you because we talk about meta a lot and I think you’ll like this.)

And Michelle, I’m sorry for the length, but there’s just so much to talk about, I had to. Also, “brevity” is not in my vocabulary. Oops. (I’m also sure you know most of this already, but I had a blast analyzing this.)

So, it’s been about a month, and I think it’s about time I typed up some of my thoughts about the use of distance in Detroit Evolution. (For those of you who haven’t seen it yet, 1) What are you doing? 2) Go check it out, it’s a beautiful feature fan film made by the lovely people at @octopunkmedia, and if you like good ace representation, I think you’ll like it.)

To give us the proper background, let’s establish our characters’ relationships with touch. (For those of you who’ve seen the movie, you know this. This is just for our friends who are unaware.)

RK900, or Nines, is very asexual. Not necessarily touch-repulsed, but touch-uninterested, unless it’ll make somebody else happy (namely, Gavin).

Gavin Reed is allosexual, but has a long, complicated history of abuse and psychological manipulation, most of it revolving around intimacy, and, as such, is extremely touch-repulsed. He does not allow people to get close to him.

Throughout the film, they’re very careful to keep physical distance between them, and if they’re forced to be close together, their body language is usually very closed off. Which lends this sense of relief to a pivotal moment in the film later. The very important exceptions are the moments in the Zen Garden, and moments of extreme duress.

Let’s break it down scene by scene.

We open on the Zen Garden. In this mindscape, we know Nines and Gavin behave as though they’re been married for several years. Their interactions are comfortable and familiar, though entirely imaginary, and this is where the use of touch and distance starts to show. Even though this Gavin does not have any of the same touch aversions as the real world Gavin, he keeps his distance from Nines, and Nines, in turn, does the same. When Gavin greets him, he’s standing ten or so feet away; when they walk together, Nines hangs back, and the both of them keep their hands in their pockets, avoiding direct eye contact. Obviously, any more romantic gestures are kept offscreen for audience suspense, but still, what’s shown is equally important. The two main exceptions to this rule are when Gavin reaches out to adjust Nines’s collar and when Nines reaches out to touch Gavin’s face. However, even when Gavin is unbuttoning Nines’s shirt, his arms are perfectly straight, leaving about two feet of space between them, and when Nines cups Gavin’s cheek, it’s not really a romantic gesture. It’s almost a reverential one, and he still leaves about a foot between them. This may not seem like a lot, but considering that this is Nines’s ideal world and even his deepest desires leave that space between them, it reveals how much relative distance matters with these two.

Onto the next scene. Protest. We start in the car, with Nines staring straight ahead, avoiding Gavin’s gaze. Gavin only touches Nines to shock him out of his trance with a gentle slap, then turns his body forward, effectively closing himself off. He maintains this distance, even straying almost twenty feet in front of Nines on their walk up. Here’s another major exception, a moment of extreme duress: Gavin takes Nines’s hand and guides him through the crowd, despite the fact that Nines could easily surpass any one of the protestors in a fight. Even here, however, Gavin keeps his back turned and does not make eye contact. For all he physically reaches out, emotionally, he’s incredibly closed off. Same deal inside Jericho; table between them, avoiding eye contact, careful distance. And even in a more lighthearted moment of banter (Nines mimicking Gavin’s delivery), Chris is standing between them as a physical mediator, and he remains between them the whole scene.

Onto the D.P.D. and the famous first instance of “I hate you.” “You love me.”!

When Nines brings Gavin his coffee, his body language is very open: arms spread, standing over Gavin. However, Nines is also intensely aware of his partner’s issues regarding physical proximity, and quickly draws away, clasping his hands behind his back and retreating ever so slightly to give Gavin his space. Once Nines has spun Gavin’s feet out of the way, they are closer, yes, but Gavin’s back is turned and Nines is careful not to lean in too close over his shoulder. They’re very closed off, and remain this way for much of the scene, never directly facing one another. Gavin stands up, spins counterclockwise to keep his back to Nines until he’s behind Nines, at which point he’s in control of the situation and flips Nines off. When they speak face to face, Gavin’s legs are kicked up on the table or he’s using the coffee mug as a sort of psychological shield. Nothing direct, nothing open.

STAKEOUT! This is a really good example of something Michelle does—that isn’t like other romance movies —that I really love. A common thing in a lot of romance movies is that “almost kiss,” but in a movie like this, where the main romance emphasizes a mental connection over a physical one, that sort of play would feel cheap and out of place. Which is why I love the stakeout scene so damn much. The stakeout is the perfect time for an “almost kiss” moment, BUT! What we get instead is so much better, with two people desperate to let their feelings out but too scared to fully voice them. So you get this awkward dance of them abstracting the concept and refusing to look at one another, deliberately avoiding eye contact. Both of them are faced forward and stay solidly in their seats, leaving as much space as they can allow, and the only times they look toward one another, the other is looking away. They can’t say what they feel unless there’s that protective bubble of space between them. So you get an “almost confessing I like you” scene, with beautiful moments of almost closing that physical distance, but instead staying firmly planted in their seats until Lazzo arrives. Even when Gavin and Nines are forced to be close together, they maintain a healthy distance between them, and their “almost kiss” is swapped out for an “almost admitting I have feelings” moment. (Plus, a bonus of great asexual dialogue, yay!)

Lazzo’s scene isn’t that notable, other than Nines’s and Gavin’s hands brushing on Lazzo’s shoulder, but again, Lazzo is between them and they’re focused on other things. Still got that distance.

The infamous jacket drape, one of the moments Nines breaks the pattern of distance. Gavin is still facing away from him, yes, but Nines deliberately reaches out to touch him in a non-invasive way, one of the only times he does so. Progress! Still a one-sided gesture, though, and even the height difference emphasizes the space between them, with Nines on his feet and Gavin slumped in a chair. Still not breaking that “arm’s length” amount they’ve set. (Tying this into the @high-on-otps‘s analysis about moments of vulnerability occurring when Gavin’s wearing fewer layers, Nines seeing Gavin in just a t-shirt and gifting him his jacket takes on a whole new meaning, with Nines almost stepping in to protect Gavin’s heart. Anyway, that’s a thought for another day.) On another note, this is also one of the two main instances where you see one of these two fools being open only because they think the other won’t notice: just a selfless gesture they don’t want to have to dwell on.

Now! Onto Gavin’s house, where the pattern starts to change. It’s a great way to track the progression of their relationship. They start out separated, with Nines pulled into himself, tablet held out, and Gavin hiding behind his computer, avoiding Nines’s eyes. However, I think this is when Gavin’s starting to realize that he might have feelings for Nines and the reverse might be true (hence his moment of contemplation in the car after he notes the parallel uses of the word “charming” as applying to him and Nines’s possible love interest), and being as tired as he is, his inhibitions are not necessarily gone, but at least hampered. So he allows himself to get close physically, and sort of mentally as well. He’s conflicted, and that’s written all over him, as he puts himself right up against Nines to steal his tablet, but also refuses to look him in the eye and quickly moves to stand up later. This conflict is also incredible to watch in general, but you can see his overwhelming desire to get closer and his defense mechanisms battling in his mind in how he sits: pressed up against Nines’s side, but none of his body overlaps with Nines’s at all, and he doesn’t look at him. Nines makes the first move, leaning his head almost onto Gavin’s shoulder, but not quite. They’re still not there yet. Of course, once Gavin leaves, he keeps his back turned, meeting Nines’s eyes once, for a split second, before entering his room and shutting the door. (And tosses him some gym shorts, of course, because nothing says “I love you” like “hey, you can borrow these sleep shorts.”)

Reentering Nines’s mindscape, we see a little more conflict from his end. (I love how we actually get visual representation of Nines’s internal conflict, while Gavin’s can only be gleaned from how he moves and holds himself. It’s a nice contrast. Frankly, I adore it. Good writing.) Once again, there’s still a fair amount of space between Nines and Zen Gavin, as Nines is burying his feelings in his work. The closest Zen Gavin comes is right behind Nines to talk about what Gavin might have been about to say before walking into his room, but he doesn’t make eye contact, and moves away quite quickly. When he is open and actually making direct eye contact, he’s standing over five feet away, and Nines deliberately turns away. You see? It’s a visual metaphor for the growing emotional tension! Yay!

Nightmare time! This is one of those moments of extreme duress I was talking about!! Also one of my favorite scenes! This is the first time, in the whole film, where all three of these criteria are present: physical proximity, open body language, and direct eye contact. Nines is holding Gavin’s arms, Gavin meets Nines’s eyes, and Gavin’s arms are spread out, not crossed over his chest or in front of his face. Obviously, this moment only lasts a second, as Gavin quickly moves Nines’s arms away, Nines backs up, and Gavin averts his eyes, but for an important beat, that distance was closed, only to be reopened again. Then, of course, they have their “should I stay” moment, where Gavin is sending mixed signals: body is turned toward Nines, but he looks away repeatedly, and Nines is standing a respectful distance away, waiting for permission to come closer or leave. Eventually, Gavin verbally and physically opens himself up: while he avoids looking directly at Nines, he keeps his arms at his sides and doesn’t turn away (huge steps for someone like Gavin), and as for Nines, he does the opposite, maintaining direct eye contact, but turning his body away to give Gavin the space he needs without pressuring him. When Gavin finally welcomes Nines into his bed, he’s making a huge step in his own personal growth. Similar to the couch setup from earlier, except reversed, with Gavin initiating the touch, and with two crucial differences: Nines and Gavin make the briefest of eye contact as they lean in (a silent agreement of “yes, this is a thing we’re doing”) and their bodies overlap. There is an intimate touch in the way they hold hands, fingers interlaced, instead of sitting ramrod straight side by side without making a conscious decision to reach out to the other. Add Nines retracting his skin on top of it, and you get an extremely psychologically open moment. A moment of duress, a moment of comfort (but they still aren’t facing each other yet, and the way it is now, it’s almost like Gavin’s afraid to acknowledge it, to believe it’s real).

NEXT MORNING. Hoo boy this one was a doozy, because it takes the openness of the night before and turns it on its head, twisting and distorting it. Gavin, before he’s awake, displays very physically open body language: spread out on his blankets, arms thrown out to the side up, stomach up. Nines is almost equally so, keeping his arms open as he hands Gavin his coffee and turning more towards him as he sits on Gavin’s bed. But Gavin, regretting the choices he made the previous night, avoids eye contact, curls into himself, and takes the earliest opportunity to put his back to Nines and retreat into the closet. His whole demeanor radiates “get away from me,” but of course, Nines hasn’t picked that up yet. So he presses a little closer, and Gavin makes his point by getting up in Nines’s space, but very deliberately avoiding looking at him and still keeping a couple feet of space. When Nines feels Gavin mentally retreating, he pushes his luck by abusing his commanding presence to intimidate Gavin into cooperation (drawing himself up to his whole height and putting his face right in Gavin’s eye-line). And what does Gavin do? When Nines gets in his space ("I'm not leaving just because you regret having acted like a person"), Gavin makes direct, meaningful eye contact (something he almost never does) and is facing Nines (another big thing), but every part of him screams "get away." In particular, the hands raised in front of his chest like a shield. The whole pose is supposed to look aggressive but every goddamn part of it belies him going into defensive mode. It's FASCINATING. He’s trying to intimidate Nines into leaving him alone because he is so scared of what Nines has seen and what he knows now. This conflict of wanting to accept Nines’s help and push him away is so clearly demonstrated in how part of his body language is geared toward Nines (the eye contact) and how part of is is blocking Nines from coming any closer (his raised hands). He holds this eye contact until Nines leaves.

The next time we see Gavin is back at Jericho, and anyone can sense the tension coming off these two (except, apparently, Chris Miller). They keep a table’s worth of distance between them. Nines, clearly still feeling snubbed from the night before, makes very pointed looks in Gavin’s direction; they’re barbed, full of accusation, very uncharacteristic of Nines, but Gavin did just tell him to wipe his memory, so he definitely believes it’s justified. Gavin avoids eye contact wherever possible, simply because he does not want to deal with this shit right now. I don’t know if he does this consciously, but after Nines’s reference to “last night,” he tucks his hand in his pocket, perhaps an unconscious recoil from Nines’s act of intimacy (holding hands), suppressing that. Cut to them standing in the hallway, Gavin is standing with his arms crossed, looking away, while Nines leans in closer with a much more open stance. He continues probing and Gavin shuts him out entirely, not even deigning to look at him properly before turning his back and walking away. This is one of the tensest moments of their relationship, where Nines is trying to build up the trust they had and Gavin is feeling hurt and betrayed and confused and is falling back on his coping mechanism of shutting people out. The physical distance and body language between them reflects that.

Onto Burn’s Alley! This whole setup is interesting; it’s a social situation in which Gavin and Nines are almost required to interact, as they have a shared obligation to make Chris’s promotion party a pleasant experience, but the tension from the previous night is definitely still bleeding into their conversation. Although they’re crowded around the same table, they put several people between them and focus intently on their drinks and their other friends, never directly addressing one another and avoiding eye contact (again, this movie might as well be subtitled “the one where Nines and Gavin can never actually look at each other for one goddamn second”). Once Ada arrives, Nines makes fast excuses and leaves the conversation, at which point they go back to their previous dance of throwing longing glances at one another when the other isn’t watching. Very good, much yearning. More internal conflict, Gavin can’t deal with his own warring desires of apologizing and running away, so he retreats outside, and Nines follows because now’s his chance to rebuild that trust he lost.

I’m classifying the alley argument as a whole new section because it’s honestly a caliber all its own and deserves a separate analysis. The use of distance here is so good. Nines, though eager to be allowed back into Gavin’s space, is respectful of his partner’s boundaries and situates himself across the alley, though his posture is more open, with his hands behind his back and a gentle lean forward (though this openness is quickly shut down once Gavin snaps at him, you can see Nines’s face fall, and it hurts). Gavin, on the other hand, is violently looking away, body turned in a completely different direction; every part of his posture is unapproachable. And as the argument progresses, we get more of that weaponized distance closing. When Gavin snaps at Nines (”Don’t bother.”), he finally makes eye contact, even keeping his posture more open (arms at his sides, face toward Nines, body mostly angled toward Nines), so Nines is, for the first time, able to properly see all the hurt Gavin’s been bottling up. And Nines steps closer. But, his hackles are raised, shoulders tensed, arms clenched tightly at his sides. They’re both spilling their hearts out, but it’s bitter and cruel and even at their closest, there’s still a foot and a half of space between their chests. When Gavin spits smoke in Nines’s face, the recoil is immediate, and Nines takes his leave of Gavin as Gavin turns away from Nines again. Once again, in a moment of emotional duress, they get closer and closer, but never quite close that gap, but this time, like that morning, the openness is weaponized and aggressive, with Gavin trying to force Nines away by saying “This is me, this is all you’re gonna get, so you might as well run” and Nines trying to get back in by saying “I don’t care, you will listen to me and you will let me care for you.” But because of the violent mannerisms, it backfires. And then the distance grows again.

Watching Nines walk Ada home from the bar, Gavin keeps a huge amount of distance between himself and Nines, both because he doesn’t want to be spotted and because he can’t bring himself to come any closer. With his hood up and hands in his pockets, he’s at his most closed off of the film, and because Nines’s back is to him, it’s obvious to see he’s being shut out, or at least feels like he is. At this moment in time, Ada is the literal and metaphorical wedge between them. Her presence is keeping them apart.

Alley ambush time. This scene. Oh man this scene. Aside from the blatantly romantic reunion scene and balcony scene, this scene has about the most touch and is a perfect narrative foil to Gavin’s nightmare. (I can’t believe I just realized that now, while I was typing this. Michelle, you are a goddamn genius, every major moment has a companion, mirrored moment; Nines giving Gavin his jacket, Gavin doing his speech to Nines and leaving his jacket there; Nines comforting Gavin after his nightmare of dying alone, Gavin comforting Nines and staying by his side to ensure he doesn’t die alone; parallel confessions in the car; of course, “I hate you” “You love me,” there’s the obvious parallel; Gavin initiating a kiss in the reunion, Nines being the one to move first on the balcony; they each get their own moment to shine in the same context and it is beautiful. Hats off to you, Michelle Iannantuono, really. Okay, back to the plot.) Gavin’s body language is at the most vulnerable it’s been all film, because Nines is in danger and he’s panicking. But even with his hands cupped around Nines’s face, Gavin keeps a little bit of distance, that same bare minimum “arm’s length” we see so many times. And the questions he asks are non-invasive, once he realizes that mentioning Ada just freaks Nines out, and then the questions just turn to pleas: “Don’t fall asleep.” Only after Nines falls unconscious does Gavin allow himself to get any closer, but even then he doesn’t let himself be face to face with Nines. The first thing Gavin does is turn Nines’s back to him, forcing that emotional distance, the exception being the arm slung across Nines’s chest to keep him upright. This is the closest they’ve been, other than after Gavin’s nightmare, and Gavin is still keeping that emotional distance by deliberately pushing Nines away from him.

Onto CyberLife. Here’s the other instance where they’re only open when they believe the other won’t know. This shit also hurt like a motherfucker because Gavin’s internal conflict is at its peak here. You can see he’s having a, for lack of a better word for it, “deathbed” moment; a sort of “now or never” feeling. He’s terrified of acknowledging how he feels, much less verbalizing those feelings to the man he loves, but at the same time, he’s worried that if he doesn’t do it now, he may never get a chance. And this is demonstrated wonderfully in how Gavin approaches Nines (and, once again, he’s down to one layer of clothing, just a simple t-shirt). At first, he hangs back from Nines’s hospital bed, looking anywhere but Nines’s face, and talking about how they need Nines for the case; vague, impersonal, dancing around the topic. Until Tina knocks on the window, basically giving him silent permission to switch tracks entirely. It’s at this point that Gavin closes some distance and parallels Nines’s earlier gesture after his nightmare, when Nines reached out to hold his hand; he reaches out and places his hand over Nines’s. (Also, another brilliant parallel? Nines reaching out to touch Gavin when he’s at his lowest point—after his nightmare—and holding his hand, basically saying “I accept you,” and Gavin reaching out to Nines when he’s at his most vulnerable—doubly powerful because Nines’s skin is deactivated and Gavin used to hate androids, so seeing him like this is his truest form—at the hospital, basically saying “I accept you.” God. Poetic cinema, my dudes.) Even moves the chair closer. And then he finally looks Nines in the face and spills his heart and soul out to him, piece by piece. And even when the heart monitor starts beeping, he doesn’t pull away. He keeps his hand firmly planted, only scoots back in the chair for a moment to check the machines, before immediately pulling back in and deliberately staying close, which, for somebody who has as toxic a relationship with touch as he does, is massive. (And, as we saw from the deleted scene, he felt safe enough to fall asleep on Nines’s bed. He looked at this shitty situation and said “I trust him” and put his goddamn head on Nines’s arm and fell asleep. Like. FUCK.)

And now, Nines’s corrupted Zen Garden. This is one of the most powerful moments of the film. In the past, Nines has almost never been the one to initiate contact with Zen Gavin, it’s always been the other way around (Gavin fixing Nines’s collar, Gavin approaching him while he’s analyzing the case), with the notable exception being Nines reaching out to cup Gavin’s cheek. But he’s internalized Gavin’s touch sensitivities so much that even his mind palace version displays the same behaviors, only initiating touch when he’s comfortable. Nines doesn’t violate Zen Gavin’s space either, lets Gavin decide what’s okay. And this is where he breaks that pattern. In his panic, Nines rushes forward without thought to envelope Gavin in a desperate hug— and is met with empty air. The minute Nines tries to reverse their dynamic is when he’s deprived of Gavin’s touch. Because of Ada’s meddling, Nines can no longer interact with this perfect world he’s constructed, and Gavin is, once again, just out of reach. Nine spends the rest of the conversation with his body language painfully open, pleading with Gavin to stay using everything but his words, and I think it speaks goddamn volumes that when he finally agrees to delete him, there is no grand gesture. Nines doesn’t swoop in and kiss Zen Gavin goodbye, nor does he hug him, or even say a proper farewell. He simply nods, turns his back, and walks away, and Gavin, after a moment’s lag, swivels his head to watch, with a soft smile on his face. Nines has realized that this Zen Gavin is a fool’s errand that he cannot hope to sustain, and his last act before wiping him entirely is to metaphorically say “I am done with you. I am walking away and I am not looking back and I am saying goodbye.” Which is so goddamn powerful, I cannot.

Okay. The moment we’ve all been waiting for.

The reunion scene.

This scene hits so much harder because all the previous scenes have kept so much distance between the two protagonists. If there had been more instances of close proximity earlier in the film, I don’t think this scene would carry the same weight it did, but as such, up until this point, there’s always been at least a foot or two of space between Gavin and Nines (and in the instances of them touching, they’re either side by side and not looking at each other or front to back and not looking at each other). But I digress, let’s get into it properly.

Setup time! Gavin’s still in just his t-shirt, Nines is in Gavin’s jacket (Narrative foil from earlier, baby!), and tensions are high. Brushing past all of Tina and Chris’s intervening dialogue, let’s talk physicality. Gavin fucking freezes the minute Nines is in the room, arms held at his sides, the most open his stance has ever been when Nines was awake to see it. Nines, in turn, also keeps his hands to the side. Gavin, disbelieving, takes a step forward, but because he’s also terrified as fuck that Nines heard him and will reject him, he holds out a halfway defensive arm, though there’s not much conviction in it, as its merely held halfway up and doesn’t cross in front of his torso at all. Nines continues to approach, although slowly, so as not to scare Gavin off, because Nines cares so much for Gavin and the last thing he needs is to make him panic, not when something this monumental is at stake. Gavin, with even more internal conflict, continues his approach, daring to hope that maybe this will turn out okay, until Nines says “I heard you.” The realization that Nines essentially saw the deepest darkest parts of him makes Gavin take a step back, but he also maintains the eye contact they’ve been holding; the subtle balance between “I want to run because holy fuck he saw too much, but also I want to stay because I think it might be it this time” is so gorgeous. Of course, once Nines makes it clear that he isn’t running, even though he heard Gavin’s entire confession, Gavin gets slightly more confident and moves forward again. Drawing from the BTS footage as well, you can see Gavin’s hands are clenched the entire time, until he makes it to Nines, when he can finally let go. And finally, with a cognizant mind, they close that distance, leaving mere inches from one another. Gavin reaches out to touch Nines’s hand, feeling his pulse, before gently turning over Nines’s hand so he can feel Gavin’s pulse. Nines, reflecting his earlier gesture, connects Zen Gavin to this Gavin by reaching out to cup Gavin’s face. And then they close that gap entirely and kiss. But it gets even better because, though Nines prods, it’s ultimately Gavin that makes the first move, and I think it always had to to be. Because Nines always lets Gavin move on his own time, even if he steers him in the right direction, occasionally. It would feel wrong if Nines moved first, because he doesn’t need to kiss for romance, but is willing to do so if Gavin wants, and the way this is done, it’s so clear that Gavin wants. This is just a testament to the amazing actors for portraying this so clearly (I know this scene’s been analyzed seven ways to Sunday, but like. The way Gavin’s eyebrows furrow up in the sheer desperation to be closer? The gentle sigh of relief from Nines? The single spin of the LED from yellow to blue the instant they connect? The way Gavin, someone who hates being touched, chases the fucking kiss as Nines pulls away? Like?? Incredible???). And even better, this whole scene is very much a give and take, as both characters let down the barriers they have built up.

Let me put it this way. Nines’s greatest treasure is his mind, and he protects it fiercely for fear of abuse. Gavin’s greatest treasure is his bodily autonomy, and as such, he protects himself from unwanted touch for fear of that autonomy being taken away. And this kiss is such a dialogue of back and forth, give and take. Nines exposes his mind (”I heard you. ‘A force you can’t live without’?” and of course, “You love me.”), opening up his most vulnerable part of himself. Gavin responds in kind by exposing his physicality, by taking Nines’s hand. Nines, once again, exposes his mind by copying his gesture from Zen Gavin, bringing to light one of his most closely guarded secrets and connecting his mind to his real world experiences. And Gavin exposes his touch, once more, by being the one to initiate the kiss.

If you’ll allow me to circle back to the parallel hand-holding from earlier, it ties into this idea of “mind vs. body.” When Nines takes Gavin’s hand after his nightmare, he is demonstrating that he accepts Gavin’s mind. Nines, who values intellect and personality above all else, demonstrates that he loves Gavin for his mind and not his body here, saying “I accept you and your mind, no matter how flawed you think it is.” Gavin, on the other hand, not only has a rough history with androids, but a rough history with physicality. When he takes Nines’s hand at CyberLife, Gavin is demonstrating that he accepts Nines’s body as it is—metal and plastic and synthskin, not flesh and bone—basically saying “I accept you and your body, no matter how flawed you think it is.” They are able to accept the closely guarded facets of one another in moments of heightened emotion and I think that’s incredible.

And after the reunion, the body language is so different. Nines willingly gets up in Gavin’s space without Gavin pushing him away (leaning over him to discuss how to track Ada down), and, of course, gives him his jacket back. Outside Ada’s warehouse, they stand much closer together, nearly touching on the hood of the car, and even make much more deliberate eye contact, shying away less. But what I really like about it is that they don’t do a total 180. That’s not how recovery works. Gavin’s still facing away from Nines during the briefing, Gavin and Nines are closer on the hood, yes, but neither Nines nor Gavin reach out a hand to touch. They’re making little baby steps and it’s wonderful.

Last but not least, the balcony. The culmination of all this.

Despite all they’ve been through, Gavin and Nines still hold distance between themselves on the balcony, though they’re a little freer with the direct eye contact and body language. Gavin’s arms are no longer crossed in front of him, he actually looks toward Nines a lot more. Nines is leaned up against the railing, facing Gavin and meeting his gaze, though you can tell Nines is bothered because his arms are crossed in front of him, preventing him from being totally open. And when he starts to say something that sounds like regret, Gavin also crosses his arms in a defensive position, until Nines reassures him that it’s not Gavin, it’s him. At which point, Gavin is the most vocal he’s ever been about his feelings (I think Michelle pointed out this is the one time in the film Gavin even slightly alludes to Nines being attractive, like the dork he is) and assures Nines that he doesn’t need anything sexual to make this relationship be one he wants to pursue. He keeps his body language remarkably open, turning to face Nines entirely and keeping his arms to the side. Nines, upon realizing Gavin means what he says, has his moment of initiating touch and reaches out to cup Gavin’s face again, uncrossing his arms to do so. There’s yet another beautiful genuine moment of connection where the opposite of the original kiss happens: Nines opens up physically (regarding his interfacing), Gavin opens up mentally (flirting with Nines as opposed to just awkwardly touching him), and Nines closes the distance once more, kissing Gavin as the sun sets just out of frame, turning Gavin’s face into the light. Yet another beautiful narrative foil. Stunning. Ideal. (Also, a note on the confession, the fact that this kiss cements the idea that “This won’t be easy, but it will be worth it, because being with you is just better” just kills me every goddamn time. They’re really willing to put in the work to make this relationship work! Which is amazing!) And then they linger, foreheads pressed together, in the most intimate display of affection in the entire movie. Soft smiles, hands on bodies, completely open and vulnerable and free. Just ... content.

All in all, hats off for really emphasizing each character’s troubled relationship with touch and how that carries over into how they behave around one another. From how Gavin uses his hands and other items as shields while making direct eye contact to how Nines lets Gavin come to him and respects his partner’s boundaries so much that even his brain version of him has these same boundaries, the use of distance and touch and their slow journey to getting physically closer in the spaces they occupy is a fantastic way of showing the progression of their relationship and I consider it an honor to get to see this story unfold. The fact that Nines’s journey would be meaningless without Gavin’s to mirror it and amplify it and vice versa is testimony to the incredible writing showcased here. Bravo to the cast and crew, really.

Tl;dr (and honestly, I wouldn’t blame you) The moments of intimacy only carry as much weight as they do because in every scene prior to them Gavin and Nines hold meaningful distance between them and the only times they break that subliminal pattern are in times of extreme stress or vulnerability.

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tisfan · 4 years

Text

I’ll Do

for @gilajames request: Doom/Tony happy ending, arranged marriage (could be historical setting, go nuts). Would love to see Pepper and Rhodey as supportive characters.

Summary: Tony Stark must marry for the good of the galaxy. He’s always known that, and he doesn’t resent it now. Love was never on the menu...

But he expected more than a flippant “He’ll do” and to not meet his betrothed until after the ceremony.

Rating: Mature for language. Warnings: None Tags: Arranged marriage, sci-fi AU, bargains and deals

I’ll Do

Finally, Tony thought.

He’d been awakened at dawn for a bath and a little bit of breakfast. He dressed in the ceremonial uniform and didn’t even mention how many fittings he’d been subjected to, in order to get to this point. His hair was freshly cut, perfectly styled and gelled within an inch of his life. Laser swords couldn’t get through the shellac on his head. God, it was giving him a headache. His hands had been scrubbed clean of grease, nails trimmed.

And that was just today.

The last four months had been nothing but formality after formality, getting the arrangements and the contracts, preparing the building to welcome his royal highness, getting Tony ready to be worthy of the marriage.

It wasn’t like he didn’t know he was expected to marry for politics. He wasn’t blind or stupid. Love wasn’t anywhere on the menu for a Founder’s child.

But he wasn’t expecting to be married off to the sovereign of another planet.

When the alliances had been signed, Von Doom was given a packet on each of the eligible brides and grooms, had looked through them absently.

“He’ll do,” Von Doom had said, before departing again for months.

He’ll do.

Not exactly a stunning recommendation, but it didn’t matter. Tony was raised to be politically astute; he was a leader and an innovator and the son of one of the richest Founders in the Manhattan Nebula. He brought more than good looks to a marriage contract.

And Von Doom brought armies, which the Nebula’s people desperately needed. They were under attack by Titans, they needed alliances and soldiers, ships and weapons, if they were going to survive.

Doom had all of those in spades.

But now, all the waiting was over.

Tony was going to march down that aisle, make his vows, and take control of his life. Training was over, it was time to put it to use. He’d never even met his spouse-to-be, had no idea what the man looked like under the armor.

It didn’t matter.

Anything had to be better than the waiting.

“You look beautiful,” Pepper said. She was dressed in a similar dress that matched his uniform, somewhat less ornate and a darker color to indicate her position as his attendant.

“So do you,” Tony told her, because that was true. Rhodey grumbled behind them. Bodyguard and brother, friend and mentor.

It had been part of the arrangement. Tony would marry Von Doom and go home with him to the main planet in the Latverian System, but he was getting his entire staff to go with him, of whom these two were the most vital and important. They even had their own cabins on the wedding ship.

Tony tried not to think of the fact that Rhodey would be the next room over during the consummation; if the whole thing was a set up, murdering the new bride or groom on the wedding night was almost a cliche.

He didn’t particularly want to get strangled on his wedding night, either before or after the consummation, but he was pretty sure that Rhodey listening in was going to be damn humiliating.

Well, maybe Rhodey would take it as a duty, as he did many things, and not give Tony grief about it later.

He glanced at Rhodey hopefully. Nah, probably not.

“Are they ready in there?” Tony wondered.

“You’re the one we were waiting on,” Rhodey said. “Are you ready?”

“Waiting on you now,” Tony said.

Pepper signaled the musicians to start playing and the child -- Tony thought the kid might have been Rhodey’s niece or something, adorable little thing that she was -- started down the aisle, throwing flower petals with more enthusiasm than accuracy.

Pepper took Tony’s arm, patting his hand reassuringly. “I’m sure your husband will be a very nice man.”

“I hope not,” Tony said. “We need him to win a war. Soldiers are usually kind of assholish.”

Pepper scoffed. “Behave for once in your life.”

“No? I mean, what even kind of remark is that? To have and to hold, richer, poorer, as long as we both shall live, that’s the deal, right?”

“You are aware that the previous king had like eight wives, right?”

“It’s your job to make sure Von Doom doesn’t kill me until after the war is won, at least,” Tony said.

Finally, he got up the aisle with not too many flower petals sticking to his ankles.

Von Doom was wearing his armor. And a great, green cloak. And a mask.

“I didn’t know this was a masked occasion,” Tony said. “Are we sure it’s Von Doom under there?”

“As long as his seal is on the marriage forms, I don’t care if it’s one of his doombots under the cloak.” That was Rhodey, smoothing out Tony’s veil as they came up to the altar.

“I care,” Tony shot back. “I don’t want to marry a stand in. Are you a stand in?”

Somehow, even masked and caped and armored, Von Doom managed to look affronted. All Tony could see of him were a pair of amber colored eyes behind the mask. “It is I, Victor Von Doom.”

“Great,” Tony said, running off at the mouth because that’s what he did when he was nervous. “Nice to meet you at last, Vickie.”

“Tony--” Rhodey hissed, kicking him in the shin.

“What? It’s too late to back out now,” Tony said. “I mean, the recommendation was never stellar or anything, but I’ll do.”

Von Doom turned his attention to the ceremonial officiant. “Begin.”

Tony was instructed to join hands with his husband-to-be -- who was wearing armored gauntlets. Tony scowled and summoned his nanobots. If his husband didn’t want to touch him, that was fine, but damned if he was going to be the vulnerable one in this situation. His own armor encased just his hand and wrist, enough to protect skin from Doom’s armor, and enough to demonstrate that he was entering this marriage as an equal, not a supplicant.

He didn’t bother to pay attention to what the officiant was saying; as Rhodey said, it was only Tony’s seal that mattered.

Not any vows they took here; all the actual enforceable rules had been put in place before they even walked in the door.

It didn’t take long, not really. But every second seemed to matter, and Tony was completely aware of his new husband watching him from behind that mask.

“I pronounce you wedded,” the officiant said.

“You gonna take that off and kiss me, or is this just a paper marriage?”

Doom snapped his fingers and the room went… fuzzy somehow.

Privacy tech.

“No one may see Doom’s face,” Doom said.

“That’s going to make it hard to kiss you.” He could hear it as the face-shield retracted, but all he could see was a pale blob. Von Doom was likely to be old, probably ugly. Maybe. Tony didn’t really know, and obviously would not be finding out. Too bad. Not reall unexpected. Political marriage. Within a turn, both of them would have their personal lovers housed somewhere in the royal palace, just another service provided.

“Do you never cease speaking?”

“Rarely,” Tony confessed. “It’s not the only flaw I have, but I’ll do, I suppose.”

“You were never meant to hear that,” Doom said. “And if you keep talking, it is going to make this very difficult.”

“Wha--”

And Tony was kissed.

His husband, whose face he still didn’t know, whose name he’d just learned, leaned in and kissed him, sweet and achingly tender. Gentle lips pressed on his, and then a questing tongue pleaded for entry. Tony opened his mouth, more in shock than consent, but when Victor’s tongue slid in, he was entirely eager. The kiss was searingly hot, dangerously delicate. Desperate and needy and urgent, and for a moment, Tony was convinced that he was being kissed by someone who could -- and maybe even would -- love him.

It was everything he could have asked for in a kiss.

His knees were a little wobbly by the time Victor let him go. The mask slid into place and the privacy shield retreated.

No one in the audience hall acted like anything was amiss.

“We will go now.”

“No party?” Tony wondered.

“Wedding breakfast,” Rhodey reminded him. “Consummation now, before you leave the planet.”

Tony took a breath. Great. Fucking someone he couldn’t see. That was going to be exciting. Maybe he could just lay there and think of Manhattan.

“Look, this just isn’t going to work for me,” Tony said, as soon as the door closed behind them, trying desperately to ignore the reality of the bed in the exact center of the room (at least it didn’t have a headboard they were going to slam against the wall for everyone to hear).

“What is not?” Victor asked, pushing the hood of his cloak back. The mask was still on, but now Tony could at least see that he had dark grey hair, shot with white. That didn’t necessarily mean that he was old. Different races had different color schemes, he supposed. Half the people he’d met weren’t even human.

He wasn’t sure if Victor was or not.

“Not knowing what you look like.”

“Does it matter? If I am fair or foul, old or young. I am still your husband, and we are now bound together, by marriage as well as by treaty.”

“Sure,” Tony said. “We’re married, that’s great. I mean, I know all the shit I’m supposed to know to be mannerly and a good diplomat. I probably won’t do any of it, but I’m well trained. I can be your husband. Without having a damn clue what you look like.”

“I sense a conundrum,” Victor said. He took the cloak off, and the matching green robe underneath it to reveal something that looked fairly similar to an earth suit. Jacket, slacks, vest.

“I suppose it depends what you want out of a marriage,” Tony said. “You want just the political shit, sure, I’ll go on my knees and take it up the ass for god and country. Once.”

“All right?”

“But that’s it. One consummation. One time. Once. Never again. You don’t own my body any further than that treaty says you do.”

“Unless I show you my face,” Victor suggested.

“I’m not promising anything more if you do,” Tony said. “But it doesn’t seem fair, or equal, or anything like an actual relationship. You know what I look like.”

“That does not mean that I know you, Anthony Stark Von Doom,” Victor said. “I know you have dark hair and brown eyes and a somewhat crooked nose. With freckles. But it tells me nothing about you. Who you are as a man, a person, a soul.”

“My nose is just fine, thanks awfully,” Tony muttered.

“So, perhaps, we should make additional requirements,” Victor said. “You will know my face, and I will know your mind.”

“How do you propose doing that?”

“If it is a bargain we strike, not being nations, but between men,” Victor said, “then you will join me, every day we are able, for a meal. Alone. And we will talk. I will ask questions, and you will answer them. Or you can ask-- I will learn just as much about you from what is important for you to ask. And I will answer.”

“Take turns?”

“Indeed. No lies.”

“We have an accord,” Tony said.

“Very well, then, my husband,” Victor said. He reached up and pressed his fingers to the joins under the mask and it popped free of its mooring. The strange flittering cloud surrounded him, concealing him. “I agree. And when I feel that I know you--”

“You’ll show me your face.”

“And you may decide if you wish to come to my bed again,” Victor said. “But tonight--”

“No one may see Doom’s face,” Tony grumbled. “I know.”

Victor took Tony’s hand, brought it to his lips. “In darkness, everyone looks the same.”

#IronDoom #Tony Stark x Victor Von Doom #Tony Stark #Victor Von Doom #Tony Stark/Victor Von Doom #arranged marriage au #science fiction au

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bowerbirdboy · 4 years

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A Complete Character Analysis of Sgt. Anacostia Quartermaine

Anacostia Quartermaine. She’s been a giant question mark since day one but is slowly starting to reveal her true intentions. However, my curiosity still remains about her treatment of Raelle and whether or not it’s special. I rewatched all of the episodes with a special focus on her and here’s what I’ve managed to find. This is a long one, I’m sorry. There’s a whole lot to it, I understand if you have to tap out halfway through or skip to the conclusion, but I’d like to think it’s a thorough compilation of everything Anacostia has shown through her actions, words, and body language.

Intro to Anacostia’s Character:

Anacostia was raised as a fosterling, a military child with no parents, and was looked after by Alder. This caused a strong bond to form between the two of them and made Anacostia the perfect right hand woman. As no-nonsense and professional as she likes to appear, we’ve seen some moments (unrelated to soldiers and training, I’ll get into those later) of humanity from her.

One of the best examples is when the fosterlings come to visit and she can’t help but smile. I think it’s clear that she enjoyed her upbringing and they give her both a nostalgic joy and excitement for the future.

We also see her reminiscing about Beltane with Berryessa, another hint that she remembers her childhood fondly.

She even has her hair down, completely freed from her strict drill sergeant duties.

Anacostia and Punishment:

The first time we see her have a one on one interaction is with Raelle, when she finds out about her first demerit. Immediately we see the epitome of the “I’m not mad, just disappointed” look.

She wipes away the demerit first thing without bothering to ask questions about it or punish Raelle. We only see her begin to get angry when Raelle says “I’m sorry” and she snaps back “are you?”. Instead of being angry that she broke the rules, Anacostia seems upset that Raelle doesn’t care about training or putting in effort to improve her work. She almost starts to yell when talking about how Raelle’s actions negatively impact those around her but takes a breath and calms down. Instead, she sits down next to Raelle which makes the scene feel much more like a pep talk from a big sister than a lecture from a superior officer.

She brings herself down to Raelle’s level and softens her tone, not wanting to seem too much like an authority figure. Keep this in mind, it’s important for later.

She also personally hand delivers Raelle’s mail from her dad, something I would presume is way above her pay grade.

Then we see strike number two after Raelle uses Salva with Scylla. Anacostia’s main priority is making sure Raelle gets medical attention (“We need to get you both to the infirmary”). While both girls took the Salva, Scylla has two officers standing guard by her bed and Raelle has none.

I don’t know if this is protocol, but it does seem like a special case. And seeing as how Anacostia dismisses both soldiers with a simple flick of her head, we can presume she gave them the guard duty in the first place.

Anacostia makes sure the guards are gone before threatening Scylla, perhaps because what she’s about to do isn’t quite up to code.

From the daily ranking list we know it is possible to be punished for improper treatment of subordinates, or lower ranking soldiers.

When her threats don’t seem to make an impact and Scylla is still making eyes at Raelle, Anacostia decides to get her point across by bringing Scylla to the brink of death. That might qualify as an abuse of power.

There’s no regret on her face either, she seems to be enjoying making her point.

In this moment I don’t believe Anacostia knew Scylla was Spree, but when Raelle’s progress was in danger she wasn’t afraid to use fear as a tactic to stop it (“Stay away from her. Far away. As if your life depended on it”). But she only punishes Scylla, not Raelle.

We see Raelle get in trouble again, this time for sleeping during training. Anacostia kicks Raelle’s foot out from under her to wake her up, to date the most physical punishment we’ve seen Raelle receive from her. Meanwhile, Abigail gets the brunt of Raelle’s failure when Anacostia forces her to hold out a tricky seed for a dangerous amount of time.

She is unconcerned, even though Abigail is clearly risking her voice and she was the one who told the girls “It is imperative that the entirety of your vocal apparatus... must remain functional and sound producing at all times. Inability to produce sound can leave a soldier powerless.”

This could be a psychological punishment, to get the message across to Raelle that her failures directly harm her team. Raelle cares more about others than herself (even if it was before her and Abigail bonded), so maybe Anacostia knew that it would make Raelle feel guilty. But I think it’s possible she wanted to spare Raelle while still making an example of mistake, so the other girls didn’t get the wrong idea.

Anacostia and Training:

We first see this in episode one, when Raelle storms in to confront Abigail. The other officers are concerned and want to break it up immediately, but Anacostia is interested in seeing the extent of what she can/will do.

She lets the storm rage for about as long as it can without becoming harmful to all those in the nearby vicinity and I think she may have also hoped that Raelle would wriggle out of Abigail’s chokehold. When she inevitably doesn’t, Anacostia grabs Abigail and a random official grabs Raelle. That may have been a subtle hint that Anacostia wanted to ensure Raelle’s safety, only trusting herself to remove Abigail in time.

Anacostia has a strange focus on Raelle in training. This may just be because the Bellweather Unit has the main characters and it makes sense for them to always be the focal point, but I’ll include it anyway.

Even after rebelling and expressing disinterest in being there, Raelle is trusted with being the leader of the pyramid in a training exercise.

While in a unit vocal lesson, Anacostia speaks directly to Raelle by saying “Very good Private Collar, that seed is a beast to master. Maintain it.” So was Raelle specifically given harder work than the others? Or was Anacostia only focusing on her?

Tally and Abigail argue back and forth about their moms, but it is only when Raelle says “how about we cool it on the mom talk” that Anacostia takes notice of the unit and encourages them to “use what’ve you got ladies”. They then proceed to produce a strong wind strike and we hear rare words of praise (“Best wind strike all day”).

Anacostia and Praise:

That leads me rather nicely into my next little segment, Anacostia’s praise of Raelle.

When Raelle wakes up in the infirmary after trying to save Porter, Anacostia’s first words are another comment about her wellbeing (“You could’ve died”).

She looks angry but this time Raelle hadn’t done anything wrong. It seems as if Anacostia was worried about Raelle and covered it up with a layer of anger for risking her health without a second thought.

For the second time we see Anacostia sit down next to her, lowering herself to an equal level so it feels like a friendly conversation rather than a conversation with her drill sergeant.

We hear her praise Raelle, saying “We are all incredibly proud of you, that kind of bravery can’t be taught.” While not the first time Anacostia has complimented Raelle, it is a very vulnerable moment where she talks specifically about her character rather than her skills. It mirrors the first demerit scene and shows Raelle’s growth and Anacostia’s investment in it.

But more importantly, Raelle doesn’t recognize the special treatment she is given. Anacostia is stern and she punishes more than she praises, so you would think Raelle may have started to notice. But in episode five we get two quotes that show she doesn’t.

“Yeah even Anacostia was impressed with our wind strikes.”

When have clearly seen several examples of Anacostia being impressed by their work, including the vocal lesson in the first episode and the wind strike.

“There’s no way she said that.”

When Scylla tells Raelle that Anacostia praised her skills, which we saw happen, Raelle cannot believe it. We’ve seen moments of Anacostia pushing Raelle and complimenting her skills, but Raelle doesn’t see past her her demanding exterior yet.

Perhaps Raelle thinks the bad moments outweigh the good, but when you see how Anacostia treats other soldiers it becomes clear how different she is with Raelle.

Anacostia and Other Soldiers (mainly Tally):

After the swimming pool Spree attack, everyone is a little shaken up. Particularly a woman named Simms, who can’t even produce sound because she’s crying so much.

“Simms, buck up. You are in the United States Army, will you cry every time the Spree attack?” She refuses to show any weakness in the moment because she wants to show her soldiers what strength looks like.

We do eventually see that Anacostia is also shaken up by the attacks and the reactions of her girls, a softer side she doesn’t often show.

She is clearly struggling as well but wants to train the weakness out the soldiers, to keep them safe. She waits for them to leave before breaking down slightly.

However, this is entirely different from how she handles Raelle’s Scylla meltdown. When Raelle is crying and screaming about the loss of Scylla, she tries not to react. Just like Simms’ feeling of fear and sadness, grief is a common occurrence in war that they need to learn how to deal with.

She maintains eye contact and betrays no emotion. Yet.

Even though Raelle is demanding that Anacostia do her job better and is accusing of her sabotaging the search (which she was but... still), Anacostia holds her ground. But when Raelle starts yelling (“You’re acting like I’m crazy, I’m not crazy”), something softens in her eyes.

I believe here she’s realizing just how much Scylla meant to Raelle and she does not want to see Raelle breakdown like this. She even does a hard swallow, as if forcing down some emotion trying to bubble to the surface. There is a sympathy in her eyes that isn’t in the first picture or her confrontation with Simms.

The harshest we’ve seen Anacostia act is towards Tally. Tally is bubbly and naive and still a little scared, all traits Anacostia wants to train out of her. While Raelle’s rebellion and disinterest seem like they should also deserve poor treatment, Anacostia appears to save all of her “harsh life lessons” for Tally.

In episode two, Anacostia singles Tally out and asks her to stab her in the eye, knowing that she would falter and fail.

The look here is cold and expectant. She knows Tally is terrified and won’t be able to do it, but she’s going make Tally feel the full extent of her failure.

When Tally falls, Anacostia barely looks at her before asking someone else to pick up her slack. She knew Tally wouldn’t be able to complete the task and wanted to teach her a cruel reality about war.

Then when Tally find her at the wedding, pale and shaking, to tell Anacostia about the Spree balloon, Anacostia snaps “what is it?” as her first response. While typically we see her holding back her anger and annoyance, Anacostia makes no attempt to hide how she feels about this inconvenience.

And if the message wasn’t clear before, when Tally grips onto her arm Anacostia yanks it away rather unceremoniously.

In episode six when Tally tracks her down to follow up about Scylla, Anacostia doesn’t even bother turning around to acknowledge that someone is talking to her.

She keeps her eyes and head tilted away from Tally, barely even acknowledging that they’re having a conversation. One could wave this away as her trying to keep the secret of Scylla’s location if not for the previous examples of her behavior towards Tally.

Anacostia speaks in short sentences, attempting to dismiss Tally as quickly as possible and only addresses her directly when she wants to threaten her to keep her mouth shut.

Anacostia and Scylla:

This frame about sums up Anacostia’s role in Scylla and Raelle’s relationship and I believe it’s quite purposeful.

She’s standing between them, a constant obstacle. Not only directly, when she threatens Scylla and when she kidnaps her but also what she represents. She wants Raelle to be a good soldier, to follow the life the military has laid out for her. Scylla wants her to see that there’s more to life than that and wants to get away from the military.

After she walks over, Raelle opens her mouth to speak but Anacostia talks over her and directly to Scylla (“You’re not supposed to be here”). It’s as if she’s trying to leave Raelle out of it, once again protecting her as if she’s a child.

As soon as Raelle calls Scylla her girlfriend, Anacostia’s glare shifts to Scylla. Throughout the Tally distraction, Anacostia watches her carefully.

There’s too much to screen shot here, so if you want to follow along, here you go. In her and Scylla’s one on one chat I think here you can see Anacostia’s thinly veiled affection for Raelle and how defensive she is of her, almost like an aunt or mother-figure. She says “you’ve taken advantage of a new recruit” in a tone much angrier than if she really was just a “new recruit”. It seems to be a deliberate choice of words to emotionally distance herself from Raelle in this situation. When Scylla takes credit for some of Raelle’s newfound success in training, Anacostia becomes even more mad and says “Raelle doesn’t need you, she has her own gifts. I suggest you end it sooner than later or I will make life very difficult for you, Ramshorn.” Scylla responds sarcastically and Anacostia responds with a slight head shake as if to say Scylla has no idea who she’s messing with.

Now last but not least, we have the big bombshell at the end where Anacostia is revealed to be torturing Scylla.

And I think the lighting says it all, this is a true dark side to Anacostia that we haven’t seen before. Almost completely unlit, leaving a shadowy portrait gives her the scene an eerie feeling and

Her interrogation starts with “how did you plan the wedding attack?”, meaning she believes Scylla was the force behind the Bellweather death(s) and all of the destruction it caused. The real question is would Anacostia be interrogating her like this if she didn’t think she was a mass murderer?

Conclusion:

Anacostia’s treatment of other soldiers is not bad (except for SELECT moments with Tally and Scylla). She is a drill sergeant training them for war, she needs to be tough to keep them alive. It’s not even close to Izadora slitting a girl’s throat in the promo for next week. However she unquestionably gives Raelle tough love, almost as if she’s watching over her. It’s possible Raelle reminds her of a younger her, or Anacostia knew her mom, or she somehow knows Raelle’s strength and is supposed to monitor her. But you can definitely see that she handles Raelle differently from other soldiers and Anacostia has personal interest in her advancement.

I think it also shows that Anacostia will be the first to want to stop torturing Scylla. She really doesn’t seem to be cold or cruel, only when something or someone she cares about is directly affected. When she finds out that Scylla abandoned the Spree for Raelle, I believe Anacostia will no longer want to harm her.

#if you're still here i appreciate you #just needed to get that all out in one post #anacostia quartermaine #motherland: fort salem #motherland fort salem #motherland #fort salem #raelle collar #scylla ramshorn #raylla #tally craven #grace speaks #MFS Research Institute

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