#but then when i get lemon at the right size [long as fuck and 90% leg] im like wow tim looks so tiny

[drpeppertummy]

this is soo fucked up & janky but by suggestion of a beloved friend

[ID: a drawing of two dudes laying on a couch together, one short with a very round full belly, the other tall and lanky. the short one is laying against the tall one, and the tall one is resting his hands on the short one's belly.]

[dragonmuse]

If you're still taking prompts - would love to see something around Jim's top surgery in the Leda House 'verse!

Also, thank you so much for your stunning au 'verse - it brings me so much joy. (And thank you in advance if you do write this - and if you don't, thank you anyway!!)

(still taking prompts for sure!! hope this suits)

In the end it was totally worth it, but it only took two days of not being allowed to shower or lift their arms over their head, before Jim was about ready to claw their way through someone else’s skull. Not Oluwande, he’d been great, feeding and watering them at regular intervals and queuing up a lot of entertainment, and mostly accepting their horrible mood. 

Just staying in bed was the worst, but moving around too much was deeply uncomfortable. And everything itched. 

“You’ve got a visitor,” Oluwande ducked his head around the bedroom door. 

“Tell them to go fuck themselves,” they gritted out. 

“Fuck me yourself, coward,” Eddy said merrily, just out of sight. “Or is that against doctor’s orders?” 

“Ugh, fine, let them in.” 

Eddy strolled in, their dove gray cashmere jumper swirling around what looked like silk pajamas. They had a box in one hand and glass of water in the other that Oluwande had ostensibly left for a few minutes ago. 

“Gimmie,” they demanded and Eddy handed it over, then shucked off her shoes, before plonking herself down on the empty side of the bed. She fussed over the pillows for a minute, then settled in. “You moving in?” 

“I’m getting comfortable because you’re a captive audience and I have DVDs.” 

“We don’t own a DVD player,” they said smugly. 

“I figured, so I brought my own,” Eddy pulled out a silver rectangle with a long cord. “Plugs right into my laptop.” 

“You’re a dinosaur.” 

“I’m a dinosaur with a fuckton of bootleg karate movies from the 90s. Want to continue to hate on me or watch ass kicking?” 

“The ass kicking,” they decided quickly. 

They were only twenty minutes into the first film when Eddy fished around in the box and produced a pastry the size of her head, filled with lemon curd. 

“Almost forgot. I flipped the barista off for you too.” 

“Really?” 

“Would I lie about that?” 

And Eddy wouldn’t. Eddy truly had marched into their less preferred coffee shop that Jim loved, ordered their favorite pastry and then continued the war that Jim had had against that one barista (who knew what he had done) out of sheer solidarity. 

“Thanks.” They bit into the pastry, uncaring about the crumbs.  

By dinner, Eddy was gone, but Frenchie and John had arrived. Jim wouldn’t see them in the bedroom, but there was nothing wrong with laying against the back of the couch and listening to all the gossip of the week. 

Jim had been a part of the unofficial rotas before. When Roach broke his arm, they’d dutifully showed up with Oluwande and let him critique their cooking. When the entire fearsome foursome had been taken out by the flu, they’d carried their share of care packages to the front door and waited for signs of life. 

They’d never been on this end before. 

“My mom wants to talk to you.” Oluwande handed them the phone and drifted away before they could protest. 

“Hi, Dolly,” Jim said quietly. 

“Oh hun, how are you doing?” Dolly asked tenderly. “Are you in a lot of pain?” 

“Not anymore, mostly just itchy.” Jim found a stray thread on the hem of their t-shirt and picked at it. 

“You know I had this shoulder surgery years ago and I still remember how it itched when it was healing up,” Dolly clucked. “Terrible, isn’t it? Oluwande said you’re a little on the fence about guests, but I would love to stop by for a bit on Saturday if you’re up for it.” 

Jim didn’t want guests. They didn’t really want anyone to see them laid low and vulnerable. But suddenly, a ferocity of desire for something that was long since lost came to them. They wanted their mother. They wanted her hand on their forehead, cool and comforting like when they had had a fever as a small child.

“You can come,” they said around the lump in your throat. “I...uh...I’d really like that.” 

“Good, good. I can make banana pudding, the kids always like that when they were sick.” 

“Could you-” they started, stopped, swallowed hard. “Would you make that raspberry tart you do instead? If it’s not too much trouble.” 

“Jim, I would love to make it for you,” Dolly said softly. “You know I can’t get the grandkids to eat it?” 

“They don’t know a good thing when they taste it,” Jim declared. 

“We’re in agreement there. You rest up for now and tell my son that he better be taking good care of you.” 

“He’s doing great,” Jim said honestly. 

On Friday, Jim’s phone buzzed and they picked it up with a frown, 

“Yeah?” 

“Are you dead?” Izzy asked suspiciously. 

“No?” 

“Because I texted you three days ago and all you sent me back was a picture of what I think was a seeping wound.” 

“Gross, right?” They snickered. “I’m alive.” 

“Good. Bored enough for paperwork yet?” 

“I really want to say no,” they sighed. 

“You don’t have to do shit, you get sick time, but if you’re already climbing the walls...” 

“Just send it over.” 

“It’s yours. I’ll give you the deposition prep for the Macmillian case too.” 

“I liked the fruit basket,” Jim recalled. “Didn’t know they let you swear in those little cards.” 

“For what they make you pay for pears, they should fucking well better.”  

Over the next few days, they started going out and reclaiming bits of their life. Just to the corner to get their preferred breakfast sandwich or a ride to the bar to at least sit and watch the show for a while. Lucius made them fancy mocktails and let them take as many toothpicks as they wanted for chewing on.  

“Hey,” Teal floated down after the show, a concerned twist to her mouth. “I got a message from the center asking if I could emergency sub in tomorrow, I think I can still get you to the appointment if I say yes, but I don’t want to cut it too close. What if-” 

“It’s fine, I can get a cab or something.” They stabbed at a cherry bobbing in their drink. Oluwande hadn’t done anything but dote on them the past two weeks and he loved volunteering.

“But-” 

“I can take you.” Leda should really not be able to sneak in that many layers of skirts, but she was weirdly far stealthier than she was as Stede. “I rented a car yesterday to pick up a bit of furniture. I knew there was a reason I shouldn’t return it just yet.” 

“Uh,” Teal gave Jim a look. “That work for you?” 

They considered Leda’s towering wig. They could go alone. But they hadn’t bounced right back the way they thought they would. Jim woke up still tired most mornings and by mid-day, they had been curling up for a nap. It was embarrassing, but they were a realist and it would be a lot easier with a driver and someone making sure they got all the doctor’s directions. 

“Yeah, fine. Thanks.” 

They’d said thank you a lot more than they ever had the past two weeks too. Lots of new unfamiliar things.  

Stede was punctual and he took notes during the appointment, politely stepping out for the actual physical exam. He was a fucking gentleman about the whole thing. 

“Would you like to get some lunch?” He offered after. 

“I’m allowed to shower now,” they said firmly. 

“Then let’s get you home and then have lunch,” he said without missing a beat.

Getting clean was fantastic and they were already in a better mood, but then Stede took them to one of the little ridiculous posh restaurants that he liked where the food was served in increasingly unlikely ways and they got to eat popcorn shrimp out of a popcorn maker. 

“That’s Eddy’s favorite too,” Stede laughed. “Do you want the dessert they set on fire?” 

“Stede,” they said gravely. “I’ve never wanted anything more.” 

It was a few more weeks before they could start up throwing knives again. They’d been worried about that leading up to the surgery, but as good as it felt to go back to it, it hadn’t been agony to wait. 

There were worse things than getting fed their favorite things, given movies they liked and to have Dolly come over with a raspberry tart and give them a kiss on the forehead. 

And one day, they got to stand in front of the mirror and see the person they knew they were look back. 

“I think I’ll get the scars tattooed eventually,” they told Oluwande when he came to admire it with them. 

“Yeah? We could paint them for now, try on somethings you like.” 

“Let’s do that.” They pivoted on their heels and kissed him with conviction. Nothing came between them.

[expired-monster-craft-smp]

Vibes Dream SMP members give off (in my opinion)

Dream

Barked at people in high school ironically but it became unironic real quick

Can’t cook very well but is good with a knife, especially at a fast pace

One of those kids who either purposely spells the first word wrong in a spelling bee to just be done with it right away or tries the hardest and manages to win (there is no inbetween for this heathen)

Bites ice cream with his teeth

Has snorted pixie stix far too many times and sneezed blue after each time

Eats bananas with the peels

Wears mismatched socks

Has taken a bite out of a pool noodle because he liked the texture and impulsively bit it (ADHD things✨😌)

Walks around looking extremely high but he’s just spacin out and stuck in his head

Dreams (lmao) in Minecraft and video games in general

Will flirt with anything that moves but has no idea how to respond to compliments

Makes fun of himself first before anyone else can

Has eaten an orange peel and it wasn’t that bad in his humble opinion

Wears khaki shorts

Eats the wax part of the baby bell cheese

Doesn’t actually know what genre his music taste is cause he vibes to everything

Georgenotfound

Picks at the skin on his lip when it’s dry so it bleeds and he tries not to give in by licking his lips often enough to the point where it became a habit

Wears velcro shoes because he doesn’t feel like tying them (he knows how, he just doesn’t wanna do it)

Eats peanut butter straight from the jar

Makes that disgusting “ants on a log” thing (celery stick filled with peanut butter topped with a row of raisins)

Can’t drink milk plain, it’s gotta have some sort of flavour

Can draw a perfect straight line but his circles look Terrible

Eats cheez-its like cereal without milk

Loves making little noises so much like he walks around his house doin chores and he’s just goin “memememenownownwnkwkshskshkshskhs”

Hates wearing socks

Coloured his tongue with highlighters because they’re non-toxic

Constantly tapping his feet and hands to a song/beat playing in his head

I can’t imagine this man using a bike of any sort, so Imma say he doesn’t know how

Can’t be licked by dogs because he’s used to being licked by his cat so it makes him uncomfortable

Can actually sing pretty well but gets real nervous in front of people so he fucks it up

Sapnap

No idea how to cook anything other than Mac and cheese please help this man

Meows at cats because he wants to confuse them and laughs Way too hard when he does (his laugh is like sunshine so I’ll allow it)

Would be fantastic at braiding hair Idk why

Gives the BEST fuckin hugs EVER

When singing, he makes noises for the instrumental parts too

Wanted to play the drums at one point

Really likes pit bulls but he’s more of a cat person so he loves them from afar

Only vaguely knows how to shave his face properly without hurting himself

Opportunities for him come up out of pure luck but mans is skilled for them so it works out well almost Always

Used to or currently has a skateboard and isn’t too bad

ALWAYS has bruises appearing everywhere for no reason, he doesn’t even know where 90% of them are from

Calls his friends twinks to jokingly bully them and gets away with it because he himself is not a twink

Gets sudden bursts of energy in the middle of the night and just shimmies around a bit to try and deal with it

Favours spearmint over peppermint

Arsonist

Banned from three (3) Dave & Busters in Texas

Badboyhalo

Washes his hands after doing literally anything

Likes the bird exhibits at the zoo (specifically the penguins)

Very good at cooking, best at soups and stews

If he painted his nails they would definitely be a baby blue

Overthinks very simple things and it makes him look less smart than he actually is

Drinks tap water

Probably prefers whiskey over beer

Knows how to tap dance a bit

Surprisingly good at taking and handling shots

Steady hands

Adds extra chocolate to hot chocolate

Plays sudoku and is really really good at it (only uses pen when he plays)

Everytime he sees a Himalayan salt lamp he NEEDS to lick it despite knowing it’s very salty and he’ll pull a face afterwards

Not great at Rock Paper Scissors

Wears sunglasses inside for no reason at all, he just,,,Does

Still has a stuffed animal from childhood perched on his bed

Probably tried his hand at archery

Tommyinnit

He has no idea how to use a baby voice on children or animals, so he just talks to them normally

Wears socks to bed

His fingers are double jointed

Always starts twitching if he stays still for too long because he’s gotta move around

His shoes and have different laces and it bothers everyone but himself

Doodles on himself in class when he’s bored or not paying attention

Has really good hearing, both with pitch and volume

Can’t eat tomato’s by themselves, it’s either gotta be in sauce form or with something else

FUCKING LOVES STRING CHEESE

Terrible handwriting

Favourite part of a slice of bread is the crust

Wants to paint his nails black to be cool and edgy but his hands are far from steady and he has no clue how to paint nails

Pretty affectionate with close friends (like Tubbo and Wilbur) off stream/camera

He likes pears for some reason

Wilbur Soot

Is constantly having to decide between leaving his hair as is or shaving all of it off

He also thinks about adding some colour but never actually does

Most tea is gross to him

Everytime he puts a breath mint thats circular in his mouth, he pretends it’s a pill and he’s taking drugs because he thinks that’s funny

He does that vacant state as a joke but that really what he looks like when he’s spacing out

Likes to aggressively flirt with his male friends but if his female friends flirt with him, he gets a bit flustered

Has probably accidentally swallowed a guitar pick

Once drank two entire jars of pickle juice

Bonks his head on anything and everything

He has broken a pair of glasses by walking face first into a pole outside

Thinks kinetic sand is fun

Has passionate arguments with others about trivial and random topics like chicken feet

Can open a beer bottle with his teeth

Would accidentally pop and swallow a bracket if he had braces

Tubbo

Hates sharp cheddar cheese

Everytime he learns a new word it’s in every sentence he says for the next week or so

Ate candle wax for a dare once

Doesn’t know how to tie a tie and will probably never learn

Wanted to do ballet at one point but decided not to

He has eaten multiple flowers for absolutely no reason other than wanting to know how they taste

Starts vibrating if he’s too excited

Used to bite his nails

ABSOLUTELY DESPISES MUSTARD

Has eaten paper and says it doesn’t taste that bad

Enjoys telling his friends how much they mean to him (this has resulted in Tommy and Wilbur crying on a few seperate occasions)

Spaces out a lot and doesn’t often pay attention to his surroundings

Gets lost inside of Best Buy’s

Likes s’mores but doesn’t properly understand how to make them

Technoblade

Learned to cook purely out of spite and found it’s actually pretty fun

Constantly getting smacked in the face by trees when walking outside

Really likes apple pie

Everytime he looks at potatoes he thinks of all the hours he spent trying to win the potato war

Starts things as a joke and gets too into it

Doesn’t like the taste of most energy drinks

Has rubbed salt and lemon juice into an open wound to just,,see how it felt (he did it once and Hated it but did it again because he forgot what it felt like)

Sometimes hates how quiet he is because everyone he knows is loud and talks over him

Despite how he is portrayed in the Dream SMP, he is extremely loyal to his friends and would kill for them

Over seasons his food because he can’t taste it otherwise

Really good balance

Doesn’t like to wear bright colours, but still enjoys wearing colours

Good at knitting

Quackity

Actually fairly quiet when off camera

Will accidentally use Spanish grammar while speaking English sometimes

Country music confuses him

Doesn’t really like kids but they really like him

Can’t dance

Hardest drugs he’s ever done is second hand smoke from a cigarette and children’s Tylenol

His favourite jolly ranchers are the red and blue ones

He uses lighters as fidget toys basically

Will have a breakdown, take a bubble bath, and call himself the self care king

Dehydrated

Wants a pet rat but he already has a cat and doesn’t wanna risk anything

Constantly questions why his main source of income is playing Minecraft with two 16 year olds

Karl Jacobs

Probably ate a spider once

Would wear those socks that are like gloves for you feet where it separates all the toes

Eats ravioli straight from the can, cold

Can answer an incredibly complex math equation fairly easily but will stumble over 12x11

Loves kids so much and speaks to them in a soft voice

Tried making ramen in a coffee pot and broke it

Drinks 2 monster energy drinks a day on average

Likes to open walnuts with his teeth but doesn’t actually eat them

The embodiment of that one John Maulany joke where he says you could spill soup in his lap and HE’D apologize to YOU

Loves physical affection so so much!!!!

If he moves his wrists in a certain way, they pop Really Loudly

Fantastic at making cookies

Fundy

Lowkey actually a furry but more on like, a cat boy level than fursuit level

Drives a Honda Civic

Likes ABBA

Adds parsley to almost anything he makes food-wise

Loves garlic bread so much, he’d commit a federal crime for it

Middle child vibes

Decent at skiing

Good at singing but isn’t terribly confident

Seems responsible at first glance but in reality he’s pretty chaotic and childish

Bad at spelling

Always cuts his nails way too short so they always feel weird/hurt

Likes bracelets and rings

Thinks pastel colours slap

JSchlatt

Despite the character he plays, he’s actually really sweet

He’s genuinely that cryptic off camera as he is on camera

Can cook but chooses not to most of the time

Would probably say “what pussy size you wear” to anyone who asks him to buy pads

Not actually as intimidating as he appears to be

Lowkey would fight a child

Shuts down when someone compliments him, often using aggression as a front because holy shit they just called him handsome and kind what the Fuck-

Jokingly says his license is suspended but in all actuality he never got his license in the first place

He has two (2) extra teeth but they don’t need to be removed so he kept them

Has a stick n poke of a stickman on his ankle he got in high school

Likes physics

This is already very long, and I still plan on adding more.

[vergilboyfriend]

You should do all of them questions and 90 is true

I love you!!!!

1. Favorite instrument?

I work at a music store u can’t just ask me this. When my coworkers play it’s the saxophone or the flute, when the boys in the repair shop are testing repairs and they harmonize with each other or try to outplay one another it’s the bassoon or the trombone or whatever they’re fixing at the moment. When I hear 🎺 give his lesson on Wednesday afternoons it’s the trumpet, and when I think about middle school it’s the clarinet, the flute, the French horn. When I hear the nutcracker pas des deux is the oboe and when I hear edith piaf l’accordeoniste it’s the remarkable human voice. Really my favorite instrument is all of them, it just depends.

2. Favorite fic trope? Mutual pining 🥺

3. Sport you played for the longest amount of time? LMAO I wasn’t a sporty kid but I did ballet

4. Shoe size? 10-11

5. Most recent (good) dream? Uhh I had a dream last night about my coworker 🎹 it wasn’t bad though I can’t really remember what it was about

6. Last person in your DMs? smugg

7. Can you do a handstand? Nooo nooo lmaoo nooooo

8. Unpopular food opinion I don’t like oranges or red meat

9. Conspiracy you believe in? There’s some kind of weird weather dome in my hometown around the military base that makes most storms pass around us

10. Is your hair its natural color/style? Most of it is I dyed the bottom layer of my hair tho so it’s blonde rn

11. state a useless fact all that’s coming to mind is outright lies rn hold on. The inventor of pringles is buried in a pringles can that’s so fucking nasty omg

12. most interesting gossip you’ve heard? Idk I don’t really care for gossip uhhhh have u heard tho rin dippindogs is a huge gay hah she uhh she like men AND women lmao gaaay gaaaay

13. Middle name? Carolyn

14. Sexuality? Bisexual

15. Amount of sleep you got last night? Idk actually I think like 9-10 hrs tho I slept in until 11

16. Opinion on ice cream cake? Tasty!!!

17. Opinion on (cup)cake frosting? It’s depends buttercream is usually too sweet for me in large amounts so I prefer whipped cream frosting

18. Last board game you played? Idk??? We played hunt a killer tho last Thursday me n my family I guess that counts kinda

19. Project you want to start? I need ideas first baby

20. Project you’re working on right now? HAHAHAHAHAHA

21. TV show you’re watching? nothing rn I just rewatch bojack a lot if I watch anything

22. Last movie you watched? Lego batman I think

23. Ever left anon hate? Not legit hate

24. Ever left anon love? Yes all the time. Sometimes to strangers it’s my favorite thing to do

25. Best Disney movie? The princess and the frog

26. Best Pixar movie? Soul or Up I can’t decide

27. Best Star Wars? Um. Empire strikes back

28. Last thing you consumed? Fuit gumy

29. NoTP? Idk I don’t really hate ships unless they’re gross like pedophilic gross

30. story behind your (nick)name? When I was a fetus my great grandfather had a dream that my name should be Carolyn Marie but my parents were huge dweebs so they named me Marina after the actress of Deanna Troi in Star Trek. Idk about my nickname ive just always been Rina/Rin as long as I can remember

31. ice cream order? Lately it’s lemon sorbetto I know it’s SO high in sugar but I love it

32. describe your blog in <5 words I love you

33. how many blogs do you follow? 436

34. Describe your voice it depends usually I sound like a sick child but my customer service voice is really pleasant

35. Describe your smile it’s cute :)

36. What is the place you live known for? LMAOOO LMAO we have a military base nearby and like. I could go on abt that one but also like. There’s a lot of gang violence and a lot of the other consequences of poverty. People from the cities around us see us as “””ghetto””” or violent but it’s just. It’s more than that it’s always more than that. And idk what else there’s nothing really particularly special about this town except that we’re all here and not anywhere else

37. What is the place you’re originally from known for? (if they’re different)

38. pronouns? she/any idc

39. Languages you speak? English

40. first friend you made through tumblr? Idk. I probably don’t talk to them anymore :(

41. Person on tumblr you know in real life? my brother

42. First dog breed you think of shih tzu I have 2 next to me rn

43. room wall color? Purble!!!! The paint color is called grape juice that’s why I picked it!!!

44. Song that’s stuck in your head right now? It’s tricky to rock a rhyme to rock a rhyme that’s right on time it’s trickyyyyy

45. Favorite number? 5, 34

46. Color you associate with your name? Red

47. Favorite jolly rancher flavor?watermelon

48. Pets? 2 dogs rocket and groot and 4 cats loki danni who r from the same litter and we raised from kittens, miss kitty who we adopted from a shelter after my boy blue moon passed away and ben (his real name is Kylo Ren thanks to my mom but I refuse to call him that) he is my little baby and he has 7 toes on his front paws

49. Collections? Hot wheels

50. Character outside of your fandom you’d marry? Girl what lmaooo idk

51. Character outside of your fandom you’d kill? That’s mean :(

52. Have you met any celebrities? NO thank god id have to kill on sight

53. Favorite time period in history? Itslian Renaissance & Romantic Era

54. What time is it right now? 2:35 am oops

55. History or future? Future but like . A good one. Or prehistory

56. Space or ocean? Space

57. Fears? Abandonment

58. Command + v and post. It’s this list of questions u don’t want that

59. Favorite season? Spring

60. Describe your aesthetic. Messy just a mess, neon and old buildings and things, antiques, countryside if there weren’t so many trump pence flags still lmaoo give uppp give up, nature just al of nature and space and places humans can’t touch and places they used to touch but can’t anymore

61. MBTI? Infp but I haven’t taken it in a few years

62. What’s your relationship with your family like? Normal.

63. “Biggest fan” in your tumblr activity? I’m in mobile hold on acc to tumblr it’s akky

64. Favorite musical? Sweeney todd

65. Comfort book? Idk how to read 💔💔💔 wuthering heights tho

66. Comfort movie? Whisper of the heart

67. OTP? Girl idk

68. BroTP? Joey and Tristan yugioh

69. AUs or canon compliant? Canon ig idk

70. Opinion on the person who’s sending the ask? It’s an anon!! But I love them

71. FMK + 3 characters anon didnt leave any characters and I was going to say something very bad but I won’t

72. Dream date? I’ve wanted to do this for a while but ideally it would be after we’d been together a while maybe even engaged or whatever, I wanna go to like a Home Depot or a furniture store and pretend to be married and looking for house paints and furniture and plan what our home is going to look like I wanna do that so bad. But idk for a first/early relationship date i really want to go to the zilker botanical garden it’s one of my favorite places, we could also go to the natural gardener which is a plant nursery in Austin I really love it there too and it’s not that far from zilker.

73. Relationship status? Single

74. Ever dyed your hair? Do you plan to? Yes and perhaps. Maybe

75. Dream job/career? Idk anymore I used to have big girl goals and I haven’t had any in a while. But when I was younger I wanted to be a game warden

76. Favorite band/singer? Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

77. Something that makes you soft/that you find adorable? My cats

78. The first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Buy a house

79. Are you superstitious? Yes

80. Character you project onto? Shizuku tsukishima

81. Fictional character you’ve had a crush on? Vergil devil may cry. Forever husband

82. Celebrity crush? LMAO

83. Person on here you’d date? my mutuals

84. Person on here you’d marry? 🥺 my mutuals

85. Person on here you’d throw into the void? Smugg

86. Other social media you have? I’ve got a photography insta that I barely use and a Twitter that’s just nintendo switch screenies that’s it

87. Finish the sentence: Due to personal reasons, ___________i will be passing away

88. Bad habit? I find it rlly hard to say no or like to say when and why I’m upset I don’t feel like for the latter I don’t feel like I should bring something that’s upsetting me up because I know I’ll get over it on my own and I don’t really trust myself to be upset about rational things. Idk I’m working on it

89. Three things you like about yourself? I’m hot, I’m kind, I’m resilient

90. Ily and you deserve the world I love you!!!!! YOU deserve it too!!!

[strawberries-n-sugar]

FUNKY FLAVORS & OLD TUNES

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Short! "Skinny"! White reader (please don't be offended and if you are then don't read? I can only find specifically x black reader, x plus size reader, x tall reader for every character and I enjoy reading all of those things because I have a imagination but I am none of those things so just something from the other perspective and it isn't meant to offend anyone :), hope you ALL enjoy. This isn't meant to show hate to anyone, just show some love to people who arent those three things)

Warnings: maybe some 18+ (I write straight from my head), old music, old funk and groove music, horniness, corniness, puns, sarcasm, innuendos, maybe some old doo wop, maybe some 90s, a plethera of music in a variety of forms, nerdiness, uhm, thats it? Oh, Daddy! Sam at the end and not the kinky kind XD, interracial relationship (I dont know why that is a warning but some people get offended so I thought I would play it safe), bad dancing my a short bitch who think she has the skills of Tom Hiddles, maybe some sad talk, Steve and Buck being matchmakers

Summary: Things have been rough for Sam and the whole Avengers gang actually since losing Tony but Sam finds a little escape every now and then. A new little hole in the wall juice and homemade icecream joint. The owner might be stealing his heart but she can't see it, good things come in small packages, or was it dynamite? For Sam, it's both, the joint is always thumpin' and so is his heart

“Funky Flavors, that’s new?” Sam comes to a slow jog from his run as he is about to stop noticing a new business had opened just off the route he runs when he runs around the Lincoln Memorial. “I could go for some juice,” he shrugs talking to himself as he goes in, removing his earbuds from his ears. Upon walking in the first thing he notices is the music, She’s A Bad Mama Jamma by Carl Carlton blared through the small system. “Okay,” he raises a brow and looks around, the small place was empty at the moment. Figuring that the owner was in the back he let’s himself dance.

“Hey~!” He gets a little too into it as you walk out from the back. You don’t say anything and just watch smiling and trying not to laugh, being your size came in handy, quite often you go unnoticed. After a minute you decide to butt in. “Hey Shug, what can I getcha?” 

“Oh shit! Huh?” He stops suddenly, caught of guard he jumps a little. “How long you been there?” “About a minute and a half, smooth moves.” “Thanks,” he rubs the back of his neck, “Wait, Shug?” “Sorry, habit, daddy called me and momma that so it stuck and now I say it.” “That’s sweet,” he smiles. “Thanks, and thankyou for stopping by.” “Yeah, noticed the new place, decided to stop by. Thirsty after the run, uh, what do you have? You ain’t from around here are you?” “No,” you giggle and hand him the menu, “I’ve got homemade icecreams and original beverages”

He looks the menu over and reads it off 

Mango Mornin’ Sunrise- mango and pineapple orange juice slushie (alcoholic and non-alcoholic options)

Momma I’m Messed Up- vodka, Redbull, rum. Blueberries, blackberries, and tequila 

Wet- (icecream flavor and drink; drink comes with dish of sugar dipped strawberries, homemade) starwberries, red wine; 19 Crimes 

Classic Homemade Butter Pecan Icecream (optional served with homemade pecan pie)

The I’m Sorry Miss Jackson (icecream flavor and drink)- Jack Daniels, coconut and chocolate

Moonshine Milkyway- homemade icecream with Milkyway and moonshine flavor 

The Send Help- Irish Trashcan with a scoop of I’m Sorry Miss Jackson on top

Pantie Dropper- (alcoholic and non-alcoholic options) smoothie with pineapple, orange, lemon, pineapple and grapefruit

Soaking Thighs- (alcoholic and non-alcoholic options) smoothie with blackberries, red grape juice, and pineapple 

Thigh Rider- Red’s Apple ale with apple cider

Summer Heat- blackberry sprite beverage 

F*** Me, Now- house-made strawberry juice (alcoholic and non alcoholic options)

Sam rubbed his neck and cleared his throat, “Jesus girl,” he laughs. “So what’ll it be Mr?” You ask, leaning over the counter as Let’s Get It On by Marvin Gaye comes on. “Shit, I’ll have a Fuck Me Now” 

“One Fuck Me Now comin’ right now Shug,” you say shocking yourself with how you kept a straight face and not noticing how he was watching you as you made it. “Alcoholic or regular?” You glance at him. 

“It’s 10 in the morning girl” “And?” “Regular, this time,” he laughs. 

“Alright here you go,” you finish up and pass it to him, making your way over to the register. “I like the station, which one is it?” 

You laugh, “that ain’t the radio, it’s my playlist”

“Say what?” He raises a brow like he doesn’t believe you. 

“What?” You ask seriously as you ring him up. 

“It’s just-”

“Just?” You shake your head and stretch your eyes. 

“Well-”

“Well?”

“You’re wearing a Asking Alexandria t-shirt for one thing”

“Yeah, nice ain’t it? Soft too,” You smirk as you know the next song will address the elephant in the room as Play That Funky Music White Boy comes on and you both laugh. 

“3.45″

“oh, right,” he pays you already sipping at it. 

“You said this time, so, you’re coming back?”

“Maybe,” he smirks. 

“Alright, I’ll hold ya to it,” you say, thinking about how you’d like him to hold you to a wall and chewing your bottom lip. You quickly remind yourself that that won’t ever happen. Guys don’t really want your type, you aren’t thicc, or super curvy, there’s no meat with your potatoes and nothing for them to hang on to, you have to have a little something to work with because thicc thighs save lives and no man wants to cuddle a stick, you aren’t a snow-bunny. All things you have heard before, and that was just about your weight and all things you have heard before, the short jokes didn’t end either much less would anyone take you seriously as a woman.

“I’ll see you later Lil Juicy,” he smiles as he leaves.

“Lil Juicy?”

“You’re little and you make juice”

“Bye,” you both laugh and you watch him walk away.

“I’ll bring some friends next time,” he calls.

“Wait!”

“Yeah?”

“I’m looking for help so if you know anyone-”

“I’ll spread the word” “Thanks, bye”

Stepping outside once the door shut behind him and the door closed behind him, “I think the new Captain America has found his Miss America,first lady?  She is damn cute,” he smiles and chuckles making his way. 

Days go by, and then a week, and a week and a half where Sam can’t get you out of his head and you hadn’t stopped thinking about him either but you hadn’t seen him again yet. He did spread the word because the next day his friend Wanda show’s up and she started working for you. You liked her, she was nice and a giant help but working with her became hard sometimes when customers would go googly eyed over her. You couldn’t blame them, she wasn’t thicc but she but she was you could still understand why, she was gorgeous.

“So, have you heard from Sam?” You ask her while it is slow.

“Yes, he said he was bringing Steve and Bucky today”

“Really?” Okay, that was overzealous, it didn’t help when the trio came in. Sam, and ofcourse you recognized the other two based on them being the Avengers, and through talking with Wanda.

“Alright, Steveo, you first,” Sam gets his phone out to record the old man’s reaction. 

“Hello,” Steve says friendly, “Hi, what’ll it be?” 

“The uh,” he clears his throat with a blush, “No need to be shy,” you encourage him. “The strawberry one” 

“No, you’ve gotta say the name,” Sam teases him. “the fuck me now....” “That is a bad language word!” Sam teases and you make Steve’s drink as Bucky looks over the menu and he and Steve watch Sam watching you, glancing to each other knowingly. Well, it was obvious with how happy he was and how he chewed his bottom lip as you bent over to grab things not paying attention. 

“Alright, and you Shug?” You give Steve his drink and ask Bucky what he would like 

“I’ll have the Summer Heat, add vodka. Thanks,doll”

“You’re welcome,” you start making it and it was quiet except for Stand By Me by  The Drifters was on and you sang along and harmonizing, Sam hums along as well harmonizing with you. “This one or Ben E King?” He asks, “this one, obviously” “Alright, :Lean On Me, Club Nouveau or the original?” “The original sucks, doesn’t flow,” you answer as you make the drink and the guys just watch the two of you as they sit with their drinks. 

“You have good taste-”

“Bet you think she tastes good too,” Buck says casually and you all turn to look at him shocked.

“What?” He shrugs, “I’m 103, and I was bagging bitches in the 40′s” 

You all shrug and make the touche face. Steve on the other hand was about to implode trying to remain a gentleman and not laugh. “He wants to eat strawberries from your tits,” Buck continues sipping his drink. 

“Okay Pal, thanks,” Sam leans over to take it and Buck smacks his hand.

“I wouldn’t mind,” you joke honestly

“We approve,” the two old men say in unison looking at Sam.

“Ask her,” Buck edges him on and points to you with his head while you aren’t looking.

“Ask who what?” Wanda asks confused as you rise from what you were doing behind the counter. 

“Y/N,” Buck answers her.

“Ask me what?”

“Would-would you maybe uhm-would you like to come record shopping with me?”

“Sure, just message me,” you exchange numbers, thinking it was meant to be a casual friend thing. 

The next week after texting him almost constantly and him texting you you make arrangements. He picked you up, opened the door for you, and the day was amazing. You wandered through the record store browsing only for him to sneak up behind you and put his arms around you at some point to look in the same crate and look down to read your face to see if it was okay only to find you blushing again. He smiles feeling a sudden little boost in confidence, the pointers that Steve and Buck had given him were working. He swallows a lump in his throat, hoping you don’t notice before speaking softly by your ear. 

“Want to do this again next Friday?” “S-ure, but Sam...” “Hmm?”

“Can we not do this?” “Yeah,” he pulls away, “Y/N, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.....I just, well, I really-I don’t want to get the wrong idea”

“What is that?” he tilts his head.

You choose not to answer, you weren’t really allowed to answer that question as you look around gauging the room and seeing a few women who may get offended just by you telling the truth. They would probably attack you, call you a liar, mock you, definitely laugh. “I can’t answer that, I need jeans...can we swing by American Eagle-wai-,” you check your wallet to see if you will have enough. “i think I have enough for one pair,” he nods and you buy the records you want and you both leave. His hand in the middle of your back holding the door for you. “Thankyou” “You’re welcome....”

He walks to American Eagle with you as you find a assistant to help you find the one section of the store that is a half of a table that will have your petite sizes. She walks you over and Sam watches as you look through the very small section of the large store where the pants short enough in length and small enough in waist for you are and buy a pair and he looks at the other sections, pretty much the entirety of the ladies section of the store with the other jeans. 

“Ready?” You come over to him with your bag. “Yeah, hang on, let me see that?” 

You hand him your bag and he looks at the receipt, “Why did yours cost twice as much?” 

You shrug, “this is the only place that has anything to fit me at all other than the kids section at Walmart, lets go. I’m just happy i am thicker than I used to be in high school and I can eat now and it ain’t much but I’m proud of my little booty I do have some days,” you laugh. 

“So, next week?”

“Yeah, I love hanging out with you”

 Sam takes you home and gets the door, it was a silent drive home. He walks you to your door. 

“Thanks Sam, I had fun,” you start to hug him but can only reach his waist so to make it less awkward you make it quick. “Night,” you smile and start to go inside.

“Night Y/N....,” he grabs your arm and turns you, he lifts you enough to be face to face with you which honestly made you feel like a child as your feet dangles so high off the ground, “Thanks, I needed this on jean shopping day,” you say sarcastically to play off that it actually hurts because you really like Sam. 

“Y/N,” he sits you on the railing and holds your waist so you won’t fall.

“Hmm?” You ask, looking at your thighs, thinking about how they are thick compared to when people complimented your thigh gap and you hated it but had to smile because you couldn’t eat for a year due to being sick but you had to smile and say thankyou, and how now you had improved a lot and it has taken you years to do so but you still weren’t thicc enough to be good enough. 

“Look at me,” he lifts your chin and you glance at him, trying to have eye contact but you look so pathetic right now. 

“I like being able to pick you up,” he starts and smiles, you start to cut him off and hop down but he grabs your thighs to hold you there and he cuts you short. “I’m not finished.” 

That stern voice made the heat pool between your legs, you knew you loved this man. 

“Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I watch you walk away and I stare at your ass every time you bend over or squat for somethin’-” you can’t stop the blush in your ears and your face. “Really?” “yes, and I like being able to pick you up, it’s cute. if you would have hugged me a second ago instead of flinging your arms around me and moving away I would have wrapped my arms around you and taken a second to just enjoy your head against me.....I think you are a beautiful lady, and you are interesting, and intelligent, I can talk to you and I love that. Please, go out with me next week on another date?”

“Another?”

“Yes, I thought this was a date until you got sad....”

“I didn’t know, I thought you just saw me as a friend and wanted to hang out; that’s usually how it goes...”

“Alright, my fault. I should have been more clear,” he puts a hand to his chest, still holding you so you don’t fall. “Please, may I take you out to dinner, next Friday? I’ll pick you up at the same time, it’s a date...please,” he looks up at you as he kisses your knuckles. “You don’t have to beg little old me, I’d love to,” you answer honestly and he kisses the side of your lip almost your cheek. “I’ll get my real kiss next time,” he helps you down and that was how it all started. That is how you became Mrs. Sam Wilson a year later, and now here you were almost three years later lying down and watching him pace back and forth in front of the bed with your new son.  

“Sam, I have a idea”

“To get him to sleep?”

You nod and go to your playlist and press play letting the soft  shoo doo shooby doo~ shoo doo dooby doo~ In the still of the night~ fill the room.

Sam see’s his eyes drift closed and carefully lays him in his crib and crawls up over you on the bed slowly before swiftly flipping the situation so you’re straddling him. He grips and caresses your thighs and chews on his lip before pulling your neck in for a kiss, “I’ll have a Fuck Me Now please” “Coming right up” 

[gentleoverdrive]

After the frenetic struggle faced by the two jogging buddies Alm and Lucina, the first weekend after the school term arrives. As Saturday breaks in, Ephraim finds himself an unlikely breakfast buddy. Will he be able to consume his tacos? And what of his carefully constructed image?

Saturday Morning: At Little Chalphy’s kitchen. (9 AM) Sitting at the cozy table within the kitchen, a young man was trying to help himself to the delicious treats two of his earnest dorm-mates helped prepare for the weekend. Thanks to the efforts of his twin sister and a certain Zofian boy, the tortillas Ephraim McFadden stuffed with delicious spit-grilled pork meat were a feast for a hangover that seems bent on haunting his morning. He felt, however, that the woman keeping him company was most definitely harshing his mellow with her prim and proper demeanor. Something had to be done and, heavens help him, he might have to be the one to do it. “Y’know, teach? If you keep coming here every single day, I’m pretty sure Cory ain’t the only one that’s gonna end up hating you” A delicate, dignified chuckle escaped her lips with the smallest of efforts. “Oh, you are such a joker, McFadden. Why would you dare suggest that my cute little sister does not love me back?” It felt like someone had sprinkled dusted jalapeño directly into his eyes. He absolutely doesn’t have the fortitude for this so early in the morning. “Because it’s Saturday morning, I’m trying to watch my breakfast and eat my goddamn cartoons, that aforementioned cute little sis of yours locked herself in her room and I’m pretty sure you have like 3 classes today in as many campuses. Now can I go back to my tacos?” “A young man eating by himself is just such a sad, sad sight to witness” “Aaaaannnd of course you’re not listening to me. Fantastic” Ephraim put his taco down and got off his seat. “Look, you might want to reconsider this whole endeavor of going after the one guy who managed to kick your ass; like I’m positive he already has his hands full being Anthiese’s super butler or whatever” He added, while looking for something within the fridge. “Plus, carving up his face seems like a very unintuitive way to net yourself a date, if we’re being honest” “Oh? And what would a dating master of such renown like yourself might suggest I do to hone my approach?” “Well, maybe try approaching that person you fancy like an equal? If you say something extreme as ‘Be mine!’ or putting them people in a pedestal, of course that’s gonna turn people off. We’re talking about a person with an agenda of their own, teach; if you treat that person you fancy like they’re either a prize to be earned or a mindless hunk of meat, of course the cold shoulder is the logical result” He grabbed the milk and a banana off the fridge. “Then again, some men love that, so what do I know?” “And yet he has remained every bit the polite gentleman towards me” Ephraim let out a drawn-out sigh while looking at the top shelves right next to the fridge, when he finally happened upon the bowl he was looking for. “That’s just common decency. Now tell me: Has he treated you any differently than he has literally anybody but Anthiese? Because she’s the one that gets the super duper, big, fancy, bells, cowbells and whistles pimped-out special deal, and I’m like… 90% sure that’s not just because she’s his employer” Ephraim placed the milk, banana and bowl right in front of Camilla before quickly moving to the opposite shelves. Slightly bemused at his seeming restlessness, she started following him around with her eyes. “Whatever do you mean? I see no such difference in the treatment he has given me at all when compared to his mistress” It was at that moment that Ephraim bumped his forehead against the bottom edge of the shelf. “D’ah! F—damn!” He briefly complained while rubbing his forehead, before finally chancing upon the thing he was looking for: chocolate-covered cereal; which he quickly placed in front of Camilla. “Are… owwwww… are you one hundred percent sure that you don’t see any difference, whatsoever, in how he treats you, your little sis, yours truly and the rest of the dorm plus however many peeps he interacts outside of here and how he treats the girl that walks with a skip in her step to school and sometimes even does a little happy dance whenever she so much as talks to him early morning?” “I sure wish I had the attention to detail you have” “Oh, for f— how is that information a secret to you?! You’ve been coming here for the past three days to stalk / harass Alm without fail. How—” A slam on the table interrupted him. “I. Am not. Harassing. Him” She closed the distance between them in a second as she grabbed his shirt’s neck, but Ephraim remained unfazed beyond raising his left eyebrow in mild surprise. “Sure, whatever” Suddenly, Ephraim jumped out at a realization. “Ah! You need a spoon and knife” “I don’t care what you think about me” Camilla’s usually easy-going expression had taken a turn for the sullen. “Psshyeah you do” He snorted after saying as much. He quickly made for the lower shelves this time and found a smaller-sized spoon, placing it to the left of the bowl while he looked at Camilla’s right eye. “Takes one to know one, after all; and you, Camilla Krakenberg, are so darn starved for the bare-assest of interactions and basic affection now that your little sis is out in the world on her own and benched your ass, that you’ve been harassing a kid whose only folly on this whole thing is that he interrupted you from unleashing the murder fury on some rapey idiot. Yes, I’m completely on your side in that said shithead probably had it coming. But why did you think that harming the him, not to mention THE CROWN PRINCESS OF A HALIDOM THAT REPRESENTS A CONTINENT THAT’S JUST FINALLY RECOVERING FROM A DEVASTATING WAR WAS A GOOD IDEA?” For a second, Camilla’s right eye betrayed no emotion… until Ephraim’s words found its target. She covered her mouth with her right hand, letting out the faintest of gasps as she slowly lowered her head, looking down at the table and suddenly looking back at her actions in a new, disturbing light. “Oh” “Oh indeed. Hell, you’re so desperate for interaction that you’re allowing a complete jackass to dress you down and smack your emotional ass all up in this bitch” If Ephraim was good at using his self-loathing for something, he wasn’t precisely subtle about it. But sometimes subtlety needs to take a rain-check. “You don’t know me at all” Even with how aggrieved Camilla sounded, hearing her spout that hackneyed phrase only reinforced Ephraim’s stance. “Perhaps I don’t. But this front you’re putting up? This commodity? It ain’t gonna do squat for you in the long term. Worst of all: I’m not telling you anything new, am I? Someone has trotted this out to you, if not verbatim, then at least more or less something similar to this spiel in the past, isn’t it?” In truth, nobody had given Camilla this kind of talk before. Now Camilla was looking down for the count, and Ephraim realized his words’ true weight almost right away. ‘Oh my gods, this is the first actual time she’s been given a ‘talk’ on this level, hasn’t she? Ugh, fuck my life’ His thoughts were now the real mess. ‘Now, whatever you do next, don’t try to comf—’ “Uh… wanna hug?” He spoke before further articulating that last thought. “… I’d like that” Her response blindsided him. ‘NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You idiot! You absolute moron! YOU BIG. FUCKING. PALOOKA! Stop that shit right now. You stop it. StopItStopItStopItStopItStopIt—’ His head was going haywire, even as he tried to play it cool externally as he opened his arms. ‘No! Don’t Open Up! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, YOU DUMBASS?!’ Alas, it was too late. Now Camilla was letting out choked-out sobs as she buried her face on his right shoulder while her arms found firm comfort around his back. Meanwhile, Ephraim’s left hand patted her head, while his right one rested chastely on her mid-section. “There. That’s fine” When he briefly looked in the direction of the living room, he saw his sister, Corrin and Lucina staring dumb-founded at his current situation. ‘Are you ok?’ Eirika used sign language when she realized she had her brother’s attention. Since Ephraim had one of his hands in a somewhat compromised position, he had to improvise, so he gave his sister a thumbs-up, a wink using his right eye, and finally a combination of both his eyes and forming a rather awkward arrow with his left hand letting them know that the coast was clear and to head for the door. Eirika returned the thumbs up which she followed by tugging Corrin’s shirt so that they could get a move on. Lucina mouthed off a ‘Thank you!’ while Corrin simply waved at him. Once they left, Ephraim let out a sigh of relief. Coming to terms at Camilla’s hold on him not showing signs of stopping any time soon, the normally blunter of the two McFadden twins decided he might as well go the full nine yards and properly hug Camilla Krakenberg. ‘Well, whatever! Let this be my good deed for the day’ With his thoughts offering a respite, Ephraim grinned, not seemingly caring about the fact that his breakfast was getting colder.

Meanwhile… Outside Fjalar Rentals. (10 AM) Hector tried to get himself comfortable at the Rental Agency’s waiting lobby. “Man, these seats just plain aren’t designed for anybody with an actual ass” “Did I hear that just now? Is Hector Kormorane actively complaining about his resilient, powerful body in plain sight? Please, say it ain’t so” “Spare me the dumb quips, Eli” While deadpanning wasn’t his forte, Hector’s stink-eye game was strong indeed. “So, whaddya got there?” “Lemon-flavored and peach-flavored soda” Eliwood revealed two cans of soda. “So, which one’s gonna be?” “Hmm…” Hector deliberated for a moment before shrugging. “Eh, whichever one you don’t want is fine with me, man” “Fair enough” Eliwood hands his brother from another mother the Lemon-flavored beverage. “Pfft!” Hector was barely able to keep himself from guffawing. “Really now” The snickering was rather uncommon for a man who so often appeared like an open book to those closest to him. Eliwood’s eyes often did a lot of the talking for him, and in this case they showed a barely repressed need to smack his best friend upside the head. “So, why are we getting another rental car?” But more important that his need to visit a physical comeback was the query he just made. “Because” Hector’s cursory retort felt like he was dodging the topic. But Eliwood wasn’t having any of that. “Hec, Miss Eirika and Ephraim literally have a car that we can borrow whenever we need to, even if it’s for going on foolish errands; all we need is to do is let them know beforehand” “Dude, they were just being polite. They don’t actually expect us to ask them to borrow their car for reals in the first place” “Are you sure?” “I don’t know, Eli! I’m just saying. Do you think Miss Eirika’s gonna be all hunky dory with the potential prospects of either you or me getting busy in her car?” The quick back and forth between the Lycian league boys left one of them with much to think of. “... maybe?” Or perhaps not, it seems. Eliwood Faeris was, first and foremost, an idealist. “See? That’s your problem, Eli: You’re too much of an optimist” Hector was quick to latch on to that in order to try and get his best bud to be on his guard more from time to time.

“Hello, dears” As the voice that came from behind was a rather unfamiliar one, they both appeared unsure as to know how to react.

“See, I don’t think that’s a pro—AAAAAH!” “Dude, what’s your—G’AAAHHH!” They both went with their gut. An ungraceful result, all things considered. “Calm down, would you? She don’t bite or anything” “Not to be a douche nozzle or anything Ephs, but I think we’re within our rights to be spooked at seeing Teach Krakenberg with you on our day off” “Well, ya’ gotta start rolling with the punches better, then!” Hector slicked back the bangs off his forehead while looking at the person that, earlier in the week, had made an attempt on the life of two of his dorm mates, sighing once he was done fixing up his bangs properly. “I’ve held back my tongue due to Alm asking us to not be too hard on you. Little dude is a fucking trooper” “He is quite the catch, is he not? Hmmmmm… I wonder what will it—” “I was not finished” Hector slapped his left knee. “I’ve only known him and Luci for a little over a week, so I’m not gonna say that ‘oh! Best Friends Forever!’ or any of that sappy-ass nonsense. But I’m starting to get friendly with them; yes, Lucina is a pest of a girl whose constant curiosity drives me nuts, and yes, I sorely wish she would stop putting her foot in her mouth non-stop, but deep down she’s an OK kid. Hell, she very much feels like a little—” “AHHH, found it!” And before Hector could finish his sentence, his friend cut him off. “Dammit, Eli! I am pouring my heart out h—wait, what did you find?” “Remember when I told you that Ms. Anthiese looked familiar?” Hector’s eyebrows spoke volumes for him. “Whaddya mean?” He still felt like inquiring further, however. “Peep this right here” Eliwood shared his phone with Hector and the Ostian youth quickly found out what his oath brother meant. On the screen, a video played, with Anthiese herself appearing to hold a snow-white cat in her arms. Before long, both Ephraim and Camilla were hovering over them. Noticing this, Eliwood quickly rewound the video back to the beginning. The video description read… 366 likes / 5.2k reproductions ZofianCatLover ‘The cute cats of Sailane! Cannot miss it for anything in the world!’ #Traveling #Silesse #Sailane #Weekend #ZofianCatLover #OnePettingAtATime 2 hours ago. “Alm! Look at this plump little boy here!” Meanwhile, the video put her affectionate tones out in front when dangling her fingers above the aforementioned feline, which were rather odd for all three boys to see, especially given how composed the Zofian heiress behaved herself among them. “Isn’t he handsome?” “He sure is!” Even with the less-than-stellar audio, all 4 of them could recognize that voice immediately. For a few seconds after the video looped back to the beginning, everyone kept silent. “Whoa. WHAT? Is that the same ‘ice queen’ Riky has tried to get chummy with?” Among the currently present, nobody could buy just how sweet Anthiese Lima really sounded. Her calm, dignified disposition contrasted so badly with her current actions and tone on display. The biggest surprise, however, happened when the video got to the part where she reached with her right hand at the direction of the camera to grab the device; after a few seconds of shaky movements, Celica had stabilized the camera’s focus while her free arm found itself around the neck of a familiar young man. Alm himself looked supremely awkward standing around with Anthiese’s arm around him. The goofy and somewhat twitchy smile he was sporting while also holding the white cat in his arms spoke of the fact that he was probably the regular behind the camera lens in these videos. All hell broke loose, however, when she rested her head against Alm’s shoulder. “Oh my” While Camilla’s subdued response was expected… “NO WWWAAAAAYYYYY!”  Ephraim, Hector and Eliwood’s exclamation fetched a lot of stares from the people around them, especially so when they synched up their respective expressions of astonishment. Camilla looked somewhat askance by the juvenile outburst demonstrated by the trio of students. “Duuude!” “SWEET!” “You better believe!” Ephraim raised both hands up, which both the Lycian league youths immediately capitulated by high-fiving him. “So, what are the odds that they’re actually dating?” Eliwood’s query did not have a specific recipient. “That’s a 10/11 right there. No-brainer” Yet Ephraim felt confident enough replying to his junior. All of a sudden, Camilla felt even more out of place than before. “Why are you so invested in Alm and little Anthiese being an item?” “Because we’ve been here for a week and in that time we had—drumroll please Señor Ephraim” Ephraim obliged Faeris’ request by using Hector’s shoulder as a makeshift snare drum, while Eliwood and Hector took a deep breath. ♪ “4 insult challenges” ♫ “3 DC probations” ♫ “2 Cook-offs” ♪ “1 bungled kidnapping” In that moment, the trio stopped singing and alternated between tap-dancing and stomping around for a cool 5-second interlude. When their brief dance number came to an end, all three opted to strike a pose, using their left arm to motion a jazz hand in Camilla’s direction. ♪ “And a foiled muuuuurrrdeeer aaatteeempt!” ♫ Camilla was rather miffed at being reminded of the actions she performed a couple of days ago. Since she decided to be a good sport, however, the martial arts instructor decided to indulge the trio by offering a few claps for their attempts. “Riveting”   Before long, however, they were all interrupted by a man tapping on Hector’s shoulder. “Are you Hector Kormorane?” “Indeed! Whaddya got for me, buddy” “Well, given your previously stated satisfaction and user review from your first rental, we’ve thought… well, if you look to your left, you’ll see” Upon chancing a glance at the new rental they were being offered, both Eliwood Faeris and Hector Kormorane very loud, unbridled expressions of shock rendered them speechless for a spell. “It’s—” “A TRUE BEAUTY!” Both 3rd years ran towards the car, feeling as though it was a mirage bound to disappear before they could reach it. “Uh—” The rental agency employee was left feeling understandably stumped at both kids making a mad dash, especially with the key component still being in the palm of his hand. Luckily, one person remained with his feet down on earth. “It's fine, I’ll take the keys” And Ephraim did just that.

[superjennysunshine]

ABC’s of your OC’s

a list of oc questions in alphabetical categories - i made each category based on the first word I could think of in alphabetical order, so enjoy! 

Waffles’ taking the stadnd on this one.

A: Aptitude 1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young?

Hitting things with a hammer.

2. what activities have they participated in?

None to my knowledge.

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for?

The ability to talk to a pretty lady without shaking.

4. what things are they bad at?

She’s not a smooth talker, let’s just leave it at that.

5. what is their most impressive talent?

As soon as she gets one, doing a kickflip on a skateboard.

B: Basics 1. what is their hair color?

Dark brown.

2. what is their eye color?

Orange/Yellow.

3. how tall are they?

3ft 5 inch.

4. how old are they?

19.

5. how much do they weigh?

I’m too stupid to come up with an exact number but she is a really buff goblin so do with that what you will.

C: Comfort 1. how do they sit in a chair?

Feet on the seat with legs spread and arms resting on her knees. 

2. in what position do they sleep?

She says she sleeps all spread out in every direction but she curls up into a tiny ball.

3. what is their ideal comfort day?

Fishing.

4. what is their major comfort food? why?

Waffles, her grandfather used to make them for her all the time and  she loved them so much they became her name sake.

5. who is the best at comforting them when down?

No one. Not since her Grandfather and even he had a hard time doing it.

D: Decoration 1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name?

First of all a front door mat that says “Welcome Y’all”, and a lot of country things like train lamps and old paintings that she has no idea what they're about, cup holders that have a map of the world on them (thanks for this suggestion dad lol), in the kitchen a lot of things relating to fruit, like fruit plates, and cups, and little hand towels with fruit on them. Y’know southern trailer park “we like to pretend this house is connected to the ground” type decoration.

2. how would they decorate their child’s room?

She has 18 children in cannon so who knows pal. Does a bed and a hug count as decoration?

3. how do they decorate their own room?

Anything she got from her adventures probably but that’s about it.

4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear?

In canon she wears a hide tank with a skirt/shorts and foot and hand wraps, but i made a modern AU version of her that wears an human sized DragonBallZ t shirt and it looks kinda like a dress in an odd way and it’s so cute and hilarious.

5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends?

HAHAHAAAHAHAAAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

fuck no.

E: External Personality 1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality?

maybe like ten trillion percent.. Waffle doesn’t really hide who she is.

2. do they do things that conform to the norm?

Is it a city persons norm? Or a swamp Urchins norm? depends on who you’re asking. 

3. do they follow trends or do their own thing?

She does her own thing mostly.

4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads?

No but she loves to dab. 

5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own?

She wears her personality on her sleeve. She’s too go ham to not be foward about anything.

F: Fun 1. what do they do for fun?

Run around in the woods and get hurt doing stupid shit, that’s her brand of fun right there.

2. what is their ideal party?

Getting high, eating funyuns, drinking Yoohoo and playing DDR with her friends IN THAT ORDER.

3. who would they have the most fun with?

Kringo has a Pillow fort.

End of discussion.

4. can they have fun while conforming to rules?

Maybe? her source of joy doesn’t necessarily come from doing illegal things but apparently it’s bad to beat the shit out of bad people in someplaces and she does think giving villains their just desserts is fun so.

5. do they go out a lot?

Side? Yes. Partying? No. Theres a lot of pretty ladies in clubs and it makes the poor girl shake. I only said she could talk to one girl and not shake remember?

G: Gorgeous 1. what is their most attractive external feature?

Waffle has the cutest eyes you’ve ever goddamn seen.

2. what is the most attractive part of their personality?

She’s funny apparently, that’s pretty attractive.

3. what benefits come with being their friend?

She’s always down to hang and she’ll take a nuke for you after being her friend for about 7 seconds.

4. what parts of them do they like and dislike?

She tends to feel inadequate intellectually with some of her peers, it bothers her more than she lets on.

5. what parts of others do they envy?

Despite lacking intelligence she isn’t envious of people who have it, she’s more jealous of people who are smooth talkers because it would be easier to net a girlfriend that way.

H: Heat 1. do they rather a hot or cold room?

Warm, she likes being toasty.

2. do they prefer summer or winter?

Winter, when it’s cold outside it makes a warm room all the more comfy.

3. do they like the snow?

She’s actually never seen snow but she’d love it.

4. do they have a favorite summer activity?

Fishing or taking a swim.

5. do they have a favorite winter activity?

Camping!

I: In-the-closet 1. what is their sexuality?

Waffle is good ol disaster lesbian.

2. have they ever questioned their sexuality?

No.

3. have they ever questioned their gender?

No.

4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT?

Her Mother and Father hate her and everything else so no. But her Grandpa loved everyone which is a trait that carried into her adulthood.

5. how long would/did it take for them to come out?

If she lived with her parents she probably wouldn’t have at all, but she would tell her grandpa no problem.

J: Joy 1. what makes them happy?

Having fun, and seeing her friends be happy. 

2. who makes them happy?

Any of her friends can make her happy. 

3. are there any songs that bring them joy?

Edge of Seventeen makes her feel badass.

4. are they happy often?

90% of the time yes.

5. what brings them the most joy in the world?

Going fishing with a friend.

K: Kill

1. have they ever thought about suicide?

No.

2. have they ever thought about homicide?

If it’s to bad people, all the time.

3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who?

No one specific just the worst person she could think of in that moment.

4. who would miss them if they died?

I assume her friends.

5. who would be happy they died, anyone?

Her mom and dad wouldn’t be happy they probably just wouldn’t care.

L: Lemons 1. what is their favorite fruit?

Watermelon.

2. what is their least favorite fruit?

Pineapple.

3. are there any foods they hate?

Pineapple again. It’s just too much for the poor girl to handle.

4. do they have any food intolerances?

She has a nut allergy. 

5. what is their favorite food?

Waffles, especially with strawberries on top.

M: Maternal 1. would they want a daughter or a son?

She would just want a child, she has no preference.

2. how many children do they want?

As many as she can care for before crumbling to dust.

3. would they be a good parent?

The. FUCKING. BEST.

4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter?

Her process when naming her children would be to wait till they can speak and cook loads of food and let the child pick their favorite (and by that i mean her wife would NOT let her name them lol).

5. would they adopt?

She has too, and would love to.

N: Never Have I Ever 1. what would they never do?

hurt an innocent person.

2. what have they never done that they want to do?

Sing Karaoke.

  3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do?

Actually be evil. How is it even possible when being nice is so fun.

4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done?

we’ll find out on the next episode of Cafe Gio: Waterdeep is so fucked

5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do?

Not yet, but they will eventually.

O: Optimism

1. are they optimistic or pessimistic?

Optimistic. 

2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others?

I mean she tries to be pretty optimistic no matter what.

3. are they good at giving advice?

GOD NO. WAFFLES AN IDIOT.

4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them?

Joe’s inspired her a couple of times and she’s really appreciated it.

5. were they always optimistic?

Yes.

P: Personality 1. what is their best personality trait?

She’s very nice and welcoming to most.

2. what is their worst personality trait?

She’s a damn idiot that girl. She’s like a bull that sees red all that time.

3. what of their personality do others love?

Jeff I’m sending this to you so you tell me.

4. what of their personality do others envy?

I feel like some people would be jealous of being able to look on the bright side all the time.

5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?

Waffle knows she’s a disaster lesbian and fucking despises it (the disaster part obviously)

Q: Questions 1. do they ask for help?

No.

2. do they ask questions in class?

A better question would be does she ever stop asking questions in class.

3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable?

yes, but with a blush.

4. do they ask weird questions?

Unintentionally yes.

5. are they curious?

God yes.

R: Rules 1. do they follow rules?

Almost never.

2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent?

Stricter than you think but still pretty laid back. She’d be fine with letting her kids go and get into trouble but would definitely keep an eye to make sure they don’t do anything too stupid.

3. have they ever been consequenced for breaking a rule?

She just recently got detained. But when the pretty captain lady showed up those cuffs got a little warmer IFYAKNOWWHATIMSAYIN.

4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking?

No, she will eventually, but not right now.

5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous?

If at any point someone stops helping someone else because of a rule? Yes.

S: Streets 1. are they street-smart?

More like Swamp Smart.

2. would they give money to someone on the streets?

Hell yeah. 

3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets?

One time. two thousand more to go.

4. has anything happened to them on the streets?

She got daggers thrown at her, that wasn’t particularly her best day.

5. are they cautious when out?

Caution is not a part of Waffles vocabulary.

T: Truth 1. are they honest?

Yes. Dangerously some would say.

2. can they tell if someone is lying?

No, she’s naturally inclined to believe people mostly anyway.

3. is it obvious when they’re lying?

Yeah... Poor Waffle, the little girl can’t even lie right.

4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about?

Not yet.

5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will?

No.

U: Underdog 1. have they been bullied?

Yes. Her parents were absolute bastards to her.

2. have they bullied anyone?

If she did i would hop universes and smack the soul out of her.

Also no she’s not an asshole.

3 have they been physically attacked by a bully?

HA , if they wanted to lose their fucking arm.

4. have they ever been doubted?

Probably. 

5. have they surprised people with being good at something?

Not to my knowledge.

also probably wont we’ll just nip that expectation in the bud.

V: Vomit 1. do they vomit often?

No.

2. do they get lots of stomach aches?

Yes. She doesn’t know why.

3. are they good at comforting someone ill?

If you enjoy rabbit soup and warm hugs than yes.

4. what do they like as far as comfort goes?

A warm blanket, warm food, If she lives in the modern AU maybe a nice movie.

5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting?

When she’s nervous she stutters.

W: Water 1. do they drink enough water?

Yes.

2. have they learned to swim?

She could place gold in laps if she wasn’t 3 feet tall.

3. do they like to swim?

Yes!

4. can they dive?

CANNONBALLS ONLY!

5. can they swim without holding their nose?

Yes.

X: Xylophone 1. what is their favorite genre of music?

Southern Rock.

2. do they have a favorite song?

Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks.

3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer?

She thinks Stevie Nicks is an actual witch, and she thinks that’s fucking DOPE.

4. can they sing well?

God no.

5. can they rap?

God do i wish.

Y: You 1. how old were you when you created them?

20 (it feels like i’ll never not be 20 and im sure that’s a good thing for people that don’t feel like fucking dust like i do).

2. what inspired you to create them?

I found the art of her and the idea just snowballed from there.

3. were they different when they were first created?

She had a canon sister in the very early days called Pushdaisy who i might still make but they wont be sisters.

4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters?

Yes, were similar in our eloquence and intelligence so when I’m writing i just have to ask myself what a braver me would do.

5. what’s your favorite thing about them?

I don’t have one, i love Waffle so much and she means so much to me as a character.

Z: Zebra 1. what’s their favorite animal?

Pig.

2. do they like animals?

Yes!

3. cats or dogs?

Dogs, they got those floppy ears!

4. what’s their dream pet?

An actual whole ass Land Shark, I am not joking. 

5. do they have any pets at the moment?

A pig named chicken but it’s not with her.

[bipolarwitchcraft]

Awnser all the questions of the post you recently reblogged.

Yeet 1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?-water bottles. I like metal ones. 2. chocolate bars or lollipops?-lollipops3. bubblegum or cotton candy?-cotton candy4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?-a pleasure to have in class and a creative writer. I wrote a lot of stories and was told by a few teachers I could be a published author when I got older. I hope they’re right. 5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?-cans the easiest 6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?-boho goth county would accurately describe me7. earbuds or headphones?-earbuds but not apple earbuds Bc they hurt8. movies or tv shows?-tv shows under 30 mins bc my attention span is 2 seconds (excluding the Orville and 911 bc those are amazing shows)9. favorite smell in the summer?-well water and main and tail shampoo10. game you were best at in p.e.?-volleyball. If I didn’t have to play 2 sports to be in athletics I would have played it in high school. 11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?-I don’t eat breakfast usually at school but when I work at camp I’ll usually have 2 eggo waffles and peanut butter maybe with a plum or something 12. name of your favorite playlist?-drive songs 13. lanyard or key ring?-key ring. I can’t stand having my keys on a lanyard 14. favorite non-chocolate candy?-Swedish fish 15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?-the secret life of bees and of mice and men. They are the only two I actually read all the way through and didn’t sparknotes lmaoo16. most comfortable position to sit in?-completely slouched in a chair with on leg crossed 17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?-my serape ariat cruisers or my berks 18. ideal weather?-70s to mid 80s with a nice breeze 19. sleeping position?-I’m a stomach sleeper lol but I usually try to fall asleep on my left side 20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?-note book. My favorite are the 5-star note books. College rule. One subject. 21. obsession from childhood?-dinosaurs and rocks. Still relevant today as a geology major22. role model?-don’t have role models. They always disappoint. Just be a decent person and do what you enjoy. 23. strange habits?-I rub the corners of blankets and pillows and such on and under my thumb nail. But only my right. I also poke my tongue out of my mouth a little when I’m riding. 24. favorite crystal?-I’m a sucker for amethyst. But quartz is also a favorite. I have natural quartz clusters all over my backyard at home. 25. first song you remember hearing?-besides like baby songs it was probably something my dad was listening to so I’m going to say Loser by Beck or Sweet Home Alabama bc those have been staples of my life. 26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?-ride and then immediately jump in the lake 27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?-read 28. five songs to describe you?-I don’t know enough about myself to know what describes me but my favorite songs rn are ‘99’ by Barnes Courtney, Colours by Grouplove, Pumped Up Kicks by foster the people, Talk Too Much by Coin, and Broken by lovelytheband 29. best way to bond with you?-talk to me 30. places that you find sacred?-nature, whataburger at 3am, and my room 31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?-I always feel badass when I wear my show chaps 32. top five favorite vines?-omg so many. Road work ahead, Adam, any from that kid that wear his hoodie and has his ears sticking out (snoooooooooop), well when life gives you lemons, you either kill your self or get killed what you gonna do 33. most used phrase in your phone?-lmaooo34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?-tide pods with gronk 35. average time you fall asleep?-midnight ish 36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?-ummmm it was probably some iFunny shit 37. suitcase or duffel bag?-duffle 38. lemonade or tea?-sweet tea 39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?-lemon meringue pie from Bluebonnet Cafe 40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?-some much. Some let a rooster loose in the main hall and no one could catch it, some left stink bait in the locker and the whole school smelled, some just showed up and gave my ag teacher a calf, we had a interim principal who we called Bernie Sanders which he hated and sent out a announcement video telling us to stop and we only got worse 41. last person you texted?-my mom42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?-jacket pockets 43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?-oof I’m a sucker for a cardigan 44. favorite scent for soap?-lavender 45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?-fantasy 46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?-over sized t shirt47. favorite type of cheese?-mozzarella 48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?-I feel like I would be a strawberry bc im a strawberry blond/a redhead 49. what saying or quote do you live by?-sometime it just be like that 50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?-this video has my gasping every. Single. Time. If you’re sad PLS WATCH: https://youtu.be/23B017ZVIx451. current stresses?-finals and getting my wisdom teeth removed 52. favorite font?-I only use times new roman lol I don’t type a lot 53. what is the current state of your hands?-dry but my nails are getting long which I’m glad about54. what did you learn from your first job?-I worked retail so I learned how to handle people at their worst lol 55. favorite fairy tale?-I like the Disney Rapunzel, but I also like the original telling if the little mermaid 56. favorite tradition?-watching the 24hours of a Christmas Story during Christmas 57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?-self harm -body image -fighting 58. four talents you’re proud of having?-creativity through writing, riding, baking, common sense59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?-bro60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?-yoooo61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?-I’ve read too many books to have a favorite line from just one lol, but I heard “I’m a grown up ass man I can do what I want” on AP bio which was pretty funny 62. seven characters you relate to?-Nina Zenik from Six of Crows. That’s it. She’s the only one. 63. five songs that would play in your club?-I cannot stand clubs or bars so none lol64. favorite website from your childhood?-fucking moshimonster.com and girlsgogames.com 65. any permanent scars?-yep. I got burned as a baby and still have the scars on my fingers 19 years later. I have a lot more as well. 66. favorite flower(s)?-I’m more of a succulent person so cactus flowers 67. good luck charms?-I don’t really have any 68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?-I had ranch flavored soda once so that takes it. But I don’t like cheap beer either. 69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? -a daddy long leg spider is the most poisonous spider but their fangs are too weak to pierce human skin 70. left or right handed?-right 71. least favorite pattern?-houndstooth 72. worst subject?-calculus 73. favorite weird flavor combo?-hot Cheetos and sour cream74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?-575. when did you lose your first tooth?- 5 y/o76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?-mashed 100%77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?-jade succulents 78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?-I like sushi from HEB 79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?-school id80. earth tones or jewel tones?-earth times 81. fireflies or lightning bugs?-firefly 82. pc or console?-Uhhh idk??? 83. writing or drawing?-writing 84. podcasts or talk radio?-talk radio 84. barbie or polly pocket?-Polly pocket. Forbidden gummy 85. fairy tales or mythology?-mythology 86. cookies or cupcakes?-cupcakes with no icing 87. your greatest fear?-bugs crawling in my ear 88. your greatest wish?-to be successful and happy with a S/O and a daughter on lots of land89. who would you put before everyone else?-my parents 90. luckiest mistake?-There are no mistakes. Everything happens for a reason. 91. boxes or bags?-depends 92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?-sunlight93. nicknames?-my dad calls me sissy bug and my mom calls me bamber and my friends call my dumb bitch lol so 94. favorite season?Spring or fall. They’re basically the same in Texas. 95. favorite app on your phone?-social media apps96. desktop background?-I don’t have a desktop but my laptop is just a pre downloaded galaxy ones. 97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?-mine, my moms, my dads, and my dads business 98. favorite historical era?-ancient Egypt and the 60s

[ed-edward-blackbeard]

long-ass fucking questionnaire

yoooooooo, I did it all.

I’m starting this at 1:15 in the morning.  Let’s see how long it takes me to finish.  cause I’m a masochist, apparently.

1: My name? do I HAVE to?  Okay, it’s Kelly.  But I really hate it, so usually I go by Kel.  A few lucky ones get to call me Kelly, but only because I love the way my name sounds when they say it.  There, my dirty secret is out.

2: Do I have any nicknames? A plethora.  Artie (after the fish), Fluffie (long story) Jellybean

3: Zodiac sign? The most Libra Libra that has ever Libra’d.

4: Video game I play to chill, not to win? I don’t play video games.  But I play a few online games, so Doctor Who: Legacy

5: Book/series I reread? The Black Dagger Brotherhood by JR Ward (Series) The Harry Potter books Morgan Chase and the Gods of Asgard by Rick Riordan (series) Good Omens (Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett) Watchers (Dean Koontz) Insomnia (Stephen King)

6: Aliens or ghosts? I have nothing against either.  But I enjoy writing about ghosts more.

7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write? Stephen King

8: Favourite radio station? NPR, strangely enough.

9: Favourite flavour of anything? Lemon.  I still thoroughly enjoy chocolate, but my radiation therapy changed the way it tasted.  

10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? Awesome.  Both with and without the addition of the adjective “fucking”

11: Favourite song? My standard answer is, ‘Everything Louder Than Everything Else’ by Meat Loaf, because I truly love that song, but lately I’ve been on a Game of Thrones kick, and i’m stuck on “The Rains of Castamere” by Sigur Rios and “The Bear and the Maiden Fair” because it’s such a Jaime x Brienne song.

12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? Bold of you to assume I have friends.

13: Favourite word? sycophant, gestalt, melancholy

14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? After about, oh, ten years or so, yes I did.  It’s a new thing for me.  usually I hold grudges until the end of time.

15: Last song I listened to? “Stairway To Heaven” by Led Zeppelin

16: TV show I always recommend? Current:  American Gods, Better Call Saul Cancelled/ended:  Hannibal (NBC), Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

17: Pirates or ninjas? Drink up me hearties, yo ho!  Yo ho, yo yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.

18: Movie I watch when I’m feeling down? Usually something from the Disney/Pixar Ouvre.  Except UP.  UP makes me sob in the first ten minutes, so no.

19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? Du Hast, Rammstein.

20: Favourite video games? Puzzles and Dragons, Doctor Who: Legacy, Dragonvale

21: What am I most afraid of? Snakes, without a doubt.

22: A good quality of mine? I’m creative

23: A bad quality of mine? I don’t think before I speak, so i sometimes don’t end up saying what I mean to say and hurt/offend in the process.

24: Cats or dogs? Bi-petual with a preference to cats

25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in? Bruce Campbell.  Alien Apocalypse, anybody?

26: Favourite season? Winter

27: Am I in a relationship? No, although I do love someone very much

28: Something I miss? Being a kid, with all the possibilities of my life still ahead of me

29: My best friend? @mummyholmesisupset and @silvarbelle.  they tie.

30: Eye colour? Hazel-greenish, with a little bit of sunflower around the pupil

31: Hair colour? Normally, a pretty chestnut brown.  sometimes I bleach it or dye it.

32: Someone I love? @silvarbelle, she’s my sister-from-another-mister, and I will throw hands for that bitch in a heartbeat.

33: Someone I trust? @mummyholmesisupset because she’s earned it a hundred times over.  @silvarbelle because I love her like family.

34: Someone I always think about? My grandmother.  she died when I was seventeen, and I still miss her.

35: Am I excited about anything? My birthday

36: My current obsession? Gam of thrones, Doctor Who, Hannibal, the MCU

37: Favourite TV shows as a child? Thundercats, Scooby Doo, 60s Batman, My Favorite Martian, the Monkees

38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? No, thank God.

39: Am I superstitious? Not overly, but I do have a few.

40: What do I think about most? Writing

41: Do I have any strange phobias? Is arachnophobia strange?

42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Behind it, dear God.

43: Favourite hobbies? Writing, reading, pinning things on Pinterest that I absolutely mean to do but probably never will

44: Last book I read? Watchers by Dean Koontz, and I’m in the middle of Fear by Bob Woodward

45: Last film I watched? Backdraft.  “You go, we go.”  

46: Do I play any instruments? Not since band class in the early 90s.

47: Favourite animal? Cat.

48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow? ???????  I don’t think I do.

49: Superpower I wish I could have? Manipulation of probability

50: How do I destress? Writing, watching Netflix, watching Mythbusters

51: Do I like confrontation? Like it, no.  Good at it, yes.

52: When do I feel most at peace? When it’s quiet and the only noises are the clicking of the keyboard and my cats’ purring

53: What makes me smile? Cute animals, stupid puns, comments on fic

54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? Off, except for my TARDIS nightlight

55: Play any sports? Fuck no.

56: What is my song of the week? Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

57: Favourite drink? 1% milk.

58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody? A few months?  It was to @mummyholmesisupset in fact.

59: Afraid of heights? Desperately so.

60: Pet peeve? Anchovies, people who don’t use coasters, and men who smoke in public places.  (yes, it’s a movie reference.  And if you get it, I will send you a shiny nickel)

61: What was the last concert I went to see? Black Sabbath’s Theater of Madness

62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? Fuck no.  I am, in fact, omnivorous and diabetic.

63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? To be Daphne Blake in Mystery, Inc.

64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? Yep.  Not fun.

65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? Hannibal’s.  I’m not rude for the most part, so I have a pretty good chance at surviving.

66: Something I worry about? My future.  Cancer has shortened my life span, my relatives are all 65+, and I am an only child with no children of my own (Thank Christ)  I haven’t worked since 2004 (been caretaking sick parents) so I’m concerned.

67: Scared of the dark? I love the dark, so no.

68: Who are my best friends? @mummyholmesisupset  @silvarbelle

69: What do I admire most about others? That they can do things, very well, that I can’t do.  What that is varies from person to person

70: Can I sing? Not very well, but I don't let that stop me...

71: Something I wish I could do? Write professionally.  I love writing fanfic, but I'd kill to be a real, published author.

72: If I won the lottery, what would I do? Pay off bills, go back to college, buy myself a car (pickup, Ford F-150 with fog lights and automatic steering), pay off my mom's bills, hire an aide to stay with Mom, move to my favorite city and hire a winter-time driver because I can't drive for shit in the snow/ice.

73: Have I ever skipped school? Nope.  Often wanted to, never have.

74: Favourite place on the planet? Asheville, NC.  Technically, it's Montreat, which is right outside of Black Mountain and is a township unto itself.  It's also home to Montreat Bible College, established by Billy Graham, and the Chapel of the Prodigal.  It is also home to Lake Susan, one of the most quiet and beautiful places on God's green earth, and I would live by that little lake if I could.  I have photos in my Google Drive, I need to share them sometime.  You'll see what I mean.  But I love Asheville, too, downtown and all.  

75: Where do I want to live? Asheville, NC.  Except I can't drive in the snow and ice, so there's that.

76: Do I have any pets? I have two cats, Samhain Murray (Sam) and Margaret May (Maggie, Maggie May, Margaret Ann)

77: What is my current desktop picture? On my laptop, it's Oswald Cobblepot (Robin Lord Taylor) from Gotham.  On my tablet, it's the Superman logo.  On my phone, it's my cat, Sam.

78: Early bird or night owl? Night owl, given that it's 2:30 AM and I'm still working on this.

79: Sunsets or sunrise? Sunsets, please.

80: Can I drive? i don't know, can you?  I can.

81: Story behind my last kiss? I kissed my cat on his cold wet nose because he was headbutting me and so I kissed him.

82: Earphones or headphones? Earphones, sadly.  I prefer headphones, but headphones are uncomfortable because I wear glasses.  So, earbuds.

83: Have I ever had braces? Did you?  I don't know.  Did I?  Yes, I did, I fucking despised them.

84: Story behind one of my scars? in late 2004, I started getting very ill.  I couldn't keep food down, I was puking all the time, pale and everything, so I went to the ER and found I had a mass the size of a basketball growing in my abdomen.  I was shipped to the local cancer center because of the cancer markers, and at the tender age of 27, I got a hysterectomy.  I was cut from my navel to my diaphragm, old school, because the mass was twenty-four pounds.  Benign, thank goodness, but it had started to go necrotic and I was well into blood poisoning (the reason I was puking and sick all the time).  I still have the scar, and always will.

85: Favourite genre of music? instrumental celtic.

86: Who is my hero? I don't know that I have one, as such

87: Favourite comic book character? SUPERMAN, BABY.  SUCK MY DICK BATS

88: What makes me really angry? Mistreatment of people and animals.  Abuse of people and animals.

89: Kindle or real book? Both have their benefits, but I love the weight and feel of a real book.  I love the portability of a Kindle.  

90: Favourite sporty activity? Marathon TV-binge

91: What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be? There's NOTHING RIGHT in schools

92: What was my favourite subject at school? Creative writing

93: Siblings? Nope, my parents saw their mistake and decided never again.

94: What was the last thing I bought? A pair of Sperry deck shoes with Han Solo and Chewbacca on them.

95: How tall am I? 5'6

96: Can I cook? yes, I can.  perhaps not well, but I can cook enough to feed myself and my mom.

97: Can I bake? Yes, I can.  I'm a SLIGHTLY better baker than a cook.

98: 3 things I love? Writing, my cats, Christopher Reeve

99: 3 things I hate? So many things.  Um, spiders, snakes, creepy clowns

100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? at the moment, girl.  when I was in school?  boy.

101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? General rule?  Boys, or girls that are kind of not-ultra-girly.

102: Where was I born? North Carolina, that hotbed of conservative bullshit.  I'm actually ashamed to admit that's where I'm from.

103: Sexual orientation? I'm working on figuring that out.  Let's call it bisexual for now, and I'll update you as it happens.

104: Where do I currently live? North Carolina, sadly.

105: Last person I texted? @mummyholmesisupset

106: Last time I cried? Today.  I was watching WALL-E on STARZ, and UP came on while I was finishing dinner.  By the time Ellie was miscarrying, I was bawling.

107: Guilty pleasure? I'm not really guilty about my pleasures, but I do have a soft spot for mind-candy romance novels.  Like Johanna Lindsey, Nina Bangs, Harlequin, etc.

108: Favourite Youtuber? I hate Youtubers.

109: A photo of myself. uh, no.

110: Do I like selfies? fuck no.

111: Favourite game app? Doctor Who: Legacy

112: My relationship with my parents? It varies from moment to moment.  My dad never really understood me, and after he got sick and was in a coma for awhile, it changed him.  so there was never really a chance for him to try.  My relationship with my mom is... complicated.  Sometimes we're BFFs and finish each other's sandwiches, and other times, we hate each other's guts and would gladly murder each other and bury the bodies in the backyard.

113: Favourite accents? Spanish, English/Scottish, all the Asian ones (the gentleman that runs my local Chinese restaurant speaks Cantonese and Mandarin both, and I could listen to that all day.)

114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? London, Dublin, Cork, Kerry, Scotland, Italy, Greece, New York, Japan, Los Angeles

115: Favourite number? 15

116: Can I juggle? Nope

117: Am I religious? Eh, not really.  I go to bible study mostly because I have half a crush on the preacher.

118: Do I like space? YES.

119: Do I like the deep ocean? Not so much.

120: Am I much of a daredevil? NO

121: Am I allergic to anything? Ciprofloxacin, IV contrast dye, Mobic/meloxicam, Zofram/ondansetron, and a ton of fragranced products (I have sensitive skin that breaks out at the drop of a hat.)  

122: Can I curl my tongue? Yep!

123: Can I wiggle my ears? Nope!

124: Do I like clowns? Yes, if they're cute.  NOT PENNYWISE, I HATE PENNYWISE.  But I love Tim Curry's Pennywise.  But that's because Tim Curry is awesome.

125: The Beatles or Elvis? Elvis.  I'm an Elvis chick.

126: My current project? "By Inches We Fall," a Game of Thrones fanfic that's Jaime Lannister x Brienne of Tarth.  I'm also working on some Christmas projects involving spray paint and recycled K-Cups

127: Am I a bad loser? Horrible loser.  I hate to lose.

128: Do I admit when I wrong? sometimes.  depends on who I'm talking to, and the tone of the discussion.  if it's a civil discourse, yes I will.  If we're shouting?  I'm not backing down.

129: Forest or beach? Forest.  A forest doesn't leave sand in your butt crack.

130: Favourite piece of advice? Mind your own business and you won't be minding mine

131: Am I a good liar? I used to be.

132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district? Slytherin/what the fuck is a Divergent/12

133: Do I talk to myself? i do, and sometimes I answer

134: Am I very social? HAHAHAHAHA NO.

135: Do I like gossip? sit by me and pour that tea, bitch.

136: Do I keep a journal/diary? I do, on paper, and you'll never read it.

137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? i failed every physics test I took in high school.  after becoming a Mythbusters stan, I retook an online physics test and passed it.  

138: Do I believe in second chances? depends on the situation and the person, but generally not.  i have been known to give them, though.

139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? oh man.  I'd like to say I'd turn it in untouched, but.  I also know I've got medication pay for (mine and mom's), her insurance to pay for (i'm uninsured), groceries and gas to buy, so in all probability?  I'd keep the cash but return everything else.

140: Do I believe people are capable of change? No.  People are who they are.  they might change what they think or what they believe in, but who they are?  No.

141: Have I ever been underweight? AHAHAHAHAHA NO

142: Am I ticklish? ...there's no good way to answer.  If I say no, you'll tickle me to prove it.  If I say yes, you'll tickle me.  But yes, I am.  especially my feet.

143: Have I ever been in a submarine? WTF?  No.

144: Have I ever been on a plane? Once, and never again

145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family? Rebel Wilson as me, America Ferrera as @mummyholmesisupset, Kristen Bell as @silvarbelle, Jessica Lange as my mother, and I can't think of anyone else.

146: Have I ever been overweight? Always, am currently, though I'm working to lose it.  I've lost about 50 lbs in the past year, so I'm doing okay

147: Do I have any piercings? Three in my right ear, two in my left.

148: Which fictional character do I wish was real? Hannibal Lecter.

149: Do I have any tattoos? nope, but I want a couple.

150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? .....i haven't made a single good decision....

151: Do I believe in Karma? it bites me on the ass often enough, so yes I do.

152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? Glasses, and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have to switch to bifocals next time

153: What was my first car? 1979 green Dodge Aries K

154: Do I want children? If they're furry and four-legged, sure.

155: Who is the most intelligent person I know? um, probably my uncle with two frigging masters degrees

156: My most embarrassing memory? I met John deLancie at a Star Trek con once, just coming down the stairs from his room to the con floor.  And I fell all over myself talking to him because I was like, fourteen or something and he was tall and handsome and genuinely happy to be tthere and I was basically every fangirl's nightmare.

157: What makes me nostalgic? watching old TV shows I loved as a kid, or reading books I haven't read in years.

158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? Yep

159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? brains.  i'm practically a zombie.

160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? Purple and fuschia equally.

161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? Not as such, no.

162: What do I hate most about myself? Everything?

163: What do I love most about myself? I like my hair.

164: Do I like adventure? only the ones in books.

165: Do I believe in fate? not really.

166: Favourite animal? Felis cattus

167: Have I ever been on radio? nope

168: Have I ever been on TV? nope

169: How old am I? 42

170: One of my favourite quotes? "Lock the door.  And hope they don't have blasters."

171: Do I hold grudges? you bet your bippy I do.  (what is a bippy and why are you betting it?)

172: Do I trust easily? No.

173: Have I learnt from my mistakes? I hope I have.  But I suspect I haven't.

174: Best gift I’ve ever received? A single cupcake and a rosebud, given to me by the nurses at the cancer treatment center because it was my birthday and I was having radiation and felt absolutely shitty.  so they surprised me with a little cupcake and a rose for my birthday and it made me feel better.

175: Do I dream? Yep.

176: Have I ever had a night terror? Yep

177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? I remember some of them, like the Continuing Adventures of Roxy, the Pink Police Poodle.

178: An experience that has made me stronger? My breakups.

179: If I were immortal, what would I do? Sleep a lot, read even more, learn everything that I never had before.

180: Do I like shopping? I do!

181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? Bank robbery.

182: What does “family” mean to me? family is a group of people, not necessarily related by blood, who have chosen to band together in love and support of each other.

183: What is my spirit animal? According to my meditation quest, it's a wolf.  But I'm not really comfortable saying that because it wasn't a real vision quest, I'd have to go to the res for that (i have Cherokee blood on my father's side) and I haven't.

184: How do I want to be remembered? As someone who tried to be good.

185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? Woodcarving.

186: What is my greatest failure? I dropped out of college in the 90s, when I had an accident that broke my ankle.  I never went back.

187: What is my greatest achievement? five-year survivor, cancer-free!

188: Love or money? Money, sadly.

189: Love or career? love

190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go? Am I an observer like the Doctor?  If yes, then I would go back to the Globe Theater and see all of Shakespeare as it was originally performed. Am I living there, stuck?  Future, please.

191: What makes me the happiest? Writing.

192: What is “home” to me? Where I lay my head.

193: What motivates me? How I feel, what I see, something that fascinates me.

194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be? Wake me up when it's over

195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? Depends on if they're hostile or kind.

196: A movie that scared me as a child? The Dark Crystal.  I love it now.

197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? V-8 juice

198: Zombies or vampires? oooh, both.  But vampires.

199: Live in the city or suburbs? Suburbs

200: Dragons or wizards? Dragons all the way, man.  I love dragons.

201: A nightmare that has stayed with me? Its always the same.  I'm being chased by someone/something, it's always getting closer, and it sounds like a loud, roaring motorcycle.  And I'm always running or racing through the Black Lodge from Twin Peaks (the place with all the red curtains and the black/white zig-zag floor.  That place freaks me the fuck out, and ever since the show aired, it's been in my nightmares)

202: How do I define love? Love is not love, that alters when it alteration finds, nor bends with the remover to remove; O no, it is an ever fixed mark, that looks on tempests and is never shaken.

203: Do I judge a book by its cover? sometimes.  I've found great books in the bargain bin that way.  I've also found a few stinkers.  Come to think of it, I've found a few people that way too.  Some great, some stinkers.

204: Have I ever had my heart broken? I have.

205: Do I like my handwriting? i do, actually

206: Sweet or savoury? Savoury

207: Worst job I’ve had? Market research interview administrator.  I was one of those assholes that flagged you down in the mall and made you watch a commercial or a movie trailer, or try a snack product and then asked you a billion and five questions about it

208: Do I collect anything? Funko POPs, Superman memorabilia, Star Wars and Star Trek memorabilia, penguins, mooses

209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? my dragon ring, my pocketwatch

210: What is on my bucket list? I don't have one

211: How do I handle anger? Depends.  I sometimes hold it in, but most times I blow like a firecracker.  hot and hard, and then I cool off.

212: Was I named after anyone? my dad's uncle Kelly, and my mom's father Ray (i'm Kelly Rae)

213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? me?  sarcastic?  Perish the thought.

214: What TV character am I most like? Dobie Gillis.

215: What is the weirdest talent I have? I can twirl just about anything like a baton and not drop it

216: Favourite fictional character? Ashley j. Williams

3:24 AM.  Son of a bitch.

[geminimoonbeamx]

Sweet Tooth: Part One

A/N: Okay so I’m happy you guys seemed to like this idea as much as I do. Let’s see where this takes us. In the movie I don’t think they ever mention Lance’s hometown, but I’ve always freaking LOVED Oregon and I figured he might as well be from one of the prettiest places in the country. Oh and in this story Lance isn’t a pedophile who fucks his gymnasts okurrr?

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: This story is going to have some very colorful language, this is Lance Tucker after all.

Summary: Lance Tucker has come back to his hometown with his ego bruised and his look on life more tainted then ever. When he runs into Y/N; a vibrant plus size woman he went to high school with at her bakery ‘Cake Faced’, he leaves the shop with the taste of sugar on his lips and a hunger that has nothing to do with the cupcakes

💘💘💘💘💘

Everything’s too green.

He’s still trying to re-acclimate his eyes, his corneas still tender to the vivid shades. There was no colors like this back in LA; where he had happened to spend the last decade or so of his life. He missed the blur, the sea of muted tones and bright lights that came with living in the big city.

That taste- the bitter one at the back of his throat that he had become accustomed to over the last couple months returns and he swallows it, just as he slams on his breaks. His body jerks forward violently and he snaps back to reality, his reality. Where he’s back in his old town, the shitty one where’d he’d grown up.

Hillsboro Oregon.

He was currently in the middle of main street, out to run errands for his mother. Like some kind of high school, warped other dimensionally nightmare come to life.

“Learn to drive” some asshole shoots at him from their car, the one that he’d cut off when he was stuck in his head and he jumps on the opportunity to bitch at someone other then himself.

“Go fuck yourself, cocksucker!” He bellows at the unnamed, practically un-faced man out of the window of his Audi and it’s sad, but its a relief.

Lance Tucker is once again stricken by the shit show that his life had become.

He pulls into a parking space in front of the grocery store, the stone building one of many little mom and pop owned stores in the square and sits in the car for a moment, just a moment of self loathing and pity before he adjusts his Ray-Ban sunglasses in the rearview mirror and sets off to put a dent in the list his mom had sent him off with.

Nothings really changed in this town. How sad is that? Everything’s just as he remembered it from growing up, yeah, gentrification is real and there’s a Starbucks and a Target now but not on main street. No, on main street it’s still the little stores that have been there forever. The Wilsons still owned the Pharmacy, the Karsbougs surprisingly still had their little photo studio. Huh, he thought at that. Who still wanted to get their pictures taken with some outdated 90’s back drop?

Fucking small towns.

Lance hated them. He hated them when he had, had to go recruiting and he hated them now.

Even if they did have a bit of a shrine for him here. His pictures; the one of him back when he was a teenager with him and his metals.

Gold and Silver.

At least someone had the decency to remember, to show case what he’d worked so damn hard for all those years ago.

Worked hard for what? a little, snarky voice in his head hisses at him. To end up living in the apartment above his childhood’s home garage?

Fucking bullshit is what it is.

He could kill Zach. Zach, one of the assistant coaches who just HAD to go dipping his dick into the girls. Underage girls- and who just HAD to knock up Maggie Townsend. Little bitch. He should have let Hope keep her.

He’s nearly halfway through his list, and is on his way to the hardware store when something catches his eye, sends his head turning. He cant seem to walk by it, the little shop that seems to draw his attention.

It looks so…different then everything else. Maybe it’s just because he’s never seen it before? And he thought he’d seen everything this town had to offer. A bakery? When had this popped up. He’d been here last Christmas and he could have sworn this was still the Martinez’s Liquor store…

‘Cake Faced’ the bold sign reads. In the window their showcasing their ‘Spring time Florals’.

He figures, he might as well. But really it’s like his feet operate of their own accord.

The shop is modern looking, sharp crisp lines and yet it has a warm, homey air about it. It’s also the fullest place he’d been in all day, people littering the small space.

Total hipster bullshit, he shakes his head a little bit as his eyes scan over the brightly lit impressive array of different baked goods. From macaroons to cinnamon rolls that look so lush it’s almost ridiculous.

“Hi” One of the workers behind the counter doesn’t seem overly friendly. He’s a little bit flamboyant with his bleached hair and monotone voice but he looks familiar…

“I think I went to school with your brother” Lance decides “Shane right?”

“Yeah, like it says on the name tag” Shane gives him a near sarcastic look, flicking said name tag “You seein anything you might want to sample?”

Lance chuckles at the man. He’d fit right in in LA.

“Um, to be honest kid I’m a little overwhelmed here” the 42 varieties of cupcakes glare at him dauntingly. He’s definatly holding up the line.

“I’ll grab this one, Shane” a sparkling voice breaks his thought process as you appear, seemingly, out of nowhere.

Shane cocks one eyebrow before reaching for the next waiting costumer.

It doesn’t take Lance long to recognize you at all. You’re different- yeah. Your hairs lighter and you look older, more put together then you had in highschool. Mature, maybe? Prettier, definatley. Your big e/c eyes framed by incredibly long lashes are still the same though. Your dimpled smile and chubby cheeks are still there too.

“Look what the cat dragged in” you start, your arms are folded over your chest but the look on your eyes is friendly.

“Well hello to you too, sweetheart”

You scoff at that “What can I get you, Lance?”

He’s honesty surprised to see you working at some random bakery. Hadn’t you always been like really smart? Voted most likely to end up in the Times?

“Surprise me. What’s good here?” He notes at you challengingly over the counter and you fight the urge to roll your eyes. Same Tucker.

“Well I’m incredibly biased so I think everything is good, but-” you crouch down to get a spoonful of cupcake “these are new”

You hand him the mini spoon and he sticks it into his mouth, his blue eyes not leaving yours as his plush lips close around the untensil.

You chuckle when they bulge a little bit.

“Damn that’s good” Lance moans at the bursting flavors in his mouth.

Lavender lemon cheesecake. Just about the last flavor he would have chosen himself, but it leaves his mouth watering.

“Thanks” you shrug proudly. He says he’ll take four of them and you start to box them up for him. Trying to ignore his gaze on you as you do so.

“You make those?”

“Well not that batch but it’s my recipe so you could say that”

“Really?”

“Really” you verify and half of his mouth pulls up. He remembers you being a smart ass.

“So what? Do you work here?” Lance wonders as you go to ring him out and you give him a half stupid look as he hands you his card.

“I mean obviously you do- you just don’t have a uniform on so I was just- uh” you laugh at his ramblings, or maybe it’s at the fact that he’s trying so hard not to look like he’s rambling.

“You know not having to wear a uniform is just one of the many perks of being your own boss” you inform him as you place the sage green box in a bag and hand it over to him.

“Wait- you own this place?” Lance puts two and two together. Manager? Maybe, he’d would’ve guessed but owner?

“Yup. For almost two years now” your so factual with him, in his memories you were…warmer. You and your big circle of friends and your social nature. He still recalled the people waiting outside of the classroom for you when the bell would ring. The two of you had even been friends, hadn’t you?

“Damn. Look at'chu” Lance whistles and you quirk your mouth, trying to keep your grin in check.

“Hey Y/N” your interrupted by by Max, one of the girls who works for you. She has questions about inventory that’s coming in. Lance watches you with amused, curious eyes as you play the role of boss bitch flawlessly.

He can’t help but think it’s hot, if he’s being perfectly honest.

“Welp, duty calls. Have a good rest of your day and enjoy your cupcakes” you have a buisness to run, and you’d spent too much time on him already.

“I most definatley will. You have a good one, too” Lance takes the bag and turns to leave, he doesn’t care. He reminds himself of that. But why were you so cold to him? And on that note, why had you never accepted his friend requests?

“Hey Lance?”

He turns at the sound of your call, his face a little confused.

“Welcome home”

His broad grin and little quirk of his eyeballs before he exits the store makes you sigh through your nose. He doesn’t hear that though.

He leaves the shop, lips sweet and buzzing with curiosity.

———————

@huntressxtimelady @i-had-a-life-once @zombiewerewolfqueen @spookyscaryscully @adyseesbeauty @geekyweed @maximum-effort-minimum-life

Okay guys this is short and sweet. Pretty much an intro, but I had to pump something out for you guys today. Happy Samhain, my fellow tumblarians😂💛🎃

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

[awkward-whiteboy]

ANON ASK question

Sorry, Tumblr Mobile fucked up and posted it when I meant to save as draft

1: Name David 2: Age 19 3: 3 Fears dark, heights, someone staying in my life 4: 3 things I love Pugs Pandas Memes 5: 4 turns on Dimples, manors Eyes Booty 6: 4 turns off rudeness Controlling overlyobsessed egotistic 7: My best friend @rinkatai @aesthetichalestorm @bookerdewiit @pokemoncardinal and many more 8: Sexual orientation Male 9: My best first date Meeting her at wendys during her shift 10: How tall am I 6″2 11: What do I miss Being happy 12: What time were I born 4pm or 2am 13: Favorite color black 14: Do I have a crush Yes.. On someone I cant have 15: Favorite quote “I’m David and I’m a fucking piece of trash” - @awkward-whiteboy 16: Favorite place my mind. It’s dark, but I feel at home 17: Favorite food Potatoes breadsticks and chicken noodle soup 18: Do I use sarcasm Nope 19: What am I listening to right now People complain about  their exam grade 20: First thing I notice in new person Eyes 21: Shoe size 11.5 22: Eye color Hazel 23: Hair color Blackish brown 24: Favorite style of clothing Whatever I wear 25: Ever done a prank call? Nope 27: Meaning behind my URL I’m awkard white and a trash boy 28: Favorite movie Cure for Wellness 29: Favorite song Too many 30: Favorite band Too Many 31: How I feel right now Depress 32: Someone I love I rather not say publically, message me 1 on 1 33: My current relationship status ^^^ 34: My relationship with my parents Okay 35: Favorite holiday Leif Erkison 36: Tattoos and piercing i have None... YET 37: Tattoos and piercing i want? I got a guitar quote thingy I am saving to get 38: The reason I joined Tumblr Because I like pissing people off, and when I joined, straight, white, males were the most hated people on tumblr. 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? .... This is too dark to write about, plus someone is reading over my shoulder as I write this. (MESSAGE 1ON1 FOR MORE) 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Nope, dont remember really ever getting any 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Nope, wish I could 42: When did I last hold hands? Don’t remember 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? either 4 mins or 30 minutes 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? guys shave their legs? 45: Where am I right now? Michigan State University 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? No one probably 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Loud 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Both, when im not at college 49: Am I excited for anything? Nope 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Sort of. I don’t share everything 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? All the damn time 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Don’t remember 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? Happened before... just cry... again 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? ALOT OF PEOPLE 55: What is something I disliked about today? I have my hellhole class 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Living: Nikki Sixx Dead: Carl Sagen 57: What do I think about most? why people hate me 58: What’s my strangest talent? eating an ungodly amount of sour candy, and chugging lemon  juice really fast 59: Do I have any strange phobias? not really 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind. I’m ugly 61: What was the last lie I told? I’m okay 62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? video chat, which ends up being no camera 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I take a class about this stuff. So I know way too much about this stuff 64: Do I believe in magic? ^^^ 65: Do I believe in luck? ^^^ 66: What’s the weather like right now? cold, and warm #puremichigan 67: What was the last book I’ve read? College textbook. (I really love it) 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? I think?  69: Do I have any nicknames? CHEF GODDAMNIT DAVID 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? broken toe, 71: Do I spend money or save it? both 72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? nope 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? a girls jacket 74: Favorite animal? panda pug 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? crying and studying 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? ALLEN.................. 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? High Hopes 78: How can you win my heart? Be nice and show me pictures of pugs and have sour candy 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? “Goddamnit David” 80: What is my favorite word? FUCK and other words 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr I don’t really have favorites, I love all the people I reblog from and those that do the same to me :) 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Don’t listen to me 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Probably 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Invisibility and mind reading 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Who I love 86: What is my current desktop picture? a graveyard where a tombstone says “Here lies Davids hopes and dreams” 87: Had sex? Yee 88: Bought condoms? Yee 89: Gotten pregnant? NO 90: Failed a class? Currently I am xD 91: Kissed a boy? Nope 92: Kissed a girl? Yep, 6 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yes.. Bad memories of them 94: Had job? Legally.. No 95: Left the house without my wallet? Yep, just did yesterday 96: Bullied someone on the internet? Never bullied, furthest I went was being a bitch to a kid on an online game. kid said if his father hears one more swear word he is grounded, I said “Well you’re father sounds like a lil bitch” 97: Had sex in public? I plead the 5th 98: Played on a sports team? A long time ago 99: Smoked weed? Yes 100: Did drugs? 5th again 101: Smoked cigarettes?^^ 102: Drank alcohol? Yes, a long time ago 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Nope 104: Been overweight? Nope 105: Been underweight? EVERY DAMN DAY 106: Been to a wedding? Yes, at least 5 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Yes 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Nope 109: Been outside my home country? Nope 110: Gotten my heart broken? way too many times. Do i have a heart stil? 111: Been to a professional sports game? Yep, a few 112: Broken a bone? Yes, pinky toe 113: Cut myself? I don’t know..

114: Been to prom? TOO MANY BAD MEMORIES.....

115: Been in airplane? Yes 116: Fly by helicopter? FTTTFTTTTTTTTTTT yes! 117: What concerts have I been to? Motley Crue 2x, Alice cooper 3x, Deep Purple, Edgar Winter Band, Iron Maiden, FFDP, Valraven, Wayland, StoneSour, Alter Bridge, and Skillet. Might go see Judas Priest in winter 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Nope 119: Learned another language? German, and a little Russian 120: Wore make up? Yes 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH yes 122: Had oral sex? Yes 123: Dyed my hair? Yep, I suck at it 124: Voted in a presidential election? Sadly 125: Rode in an ambulance? Nope 126: Had a surgery? Nope 127: Met someone famous? A few people 128: Stalked someone on a social network? Yes, for their protection. 129: Peed outside? Yea 130: Been fishing? Yep, I like it for the quiet 131: Helped with charity? Yes, Red cross and food banks 132: Been rejected by a crush? :’( Atleast 5 times 133: Broken a mirror? Nope 134: What do I want for birthday? someone who will understand me and not judge

Ask me stuff :3 (ask as anon though)

[westmezzanines]

you. evens. now

i lov u for sending this but hate that u asked it in this way

2. is your room messy or clean?uhhmmm mostly clean except for my closet which has clothes all over the floor and my desk and dresser which have a bunch of shit piled on them4. do you like your name? why?yeah i do! it’s pretty unique and it kinda just sounds good6. describe your personality in 3 words or lessfuck im not doing this because usc wants to know it for my application and i still have to think about it8. what kind of car do you drive? color?i do not have a car im gay and i’m only taking my permit test this friday10. how would you describe your style?i throw on whatevers comfortable and if i happen look cute that’s cool12. what size bed do you have?twin14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?god i don’t know i really like where i live. probably berkeley16. favorite makeup brand(s)NYX B*TCH i love being cheap18. favorite tv show?sense820. how tall are you?5'722. do you go to the gym? hahaaaaaa no24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?uh i think like $27 and a bunch of quarters26. how many pillows do you sleep with?228. how many friends do you have? actually a lot cause i’ve done a bunch of different stuff in my life but probably like 10 really close ones30. whats your favorite candle scent? the one where i walk into the candle aisle at east west and take a good sniff32. 3 favorite girl namesthey’re all good.34. favorite actress? oh ummm i don’t really watch that much stuff but danielle brooks is really awesome36. favorite movie? i don’t know if i could pick just one best one of all time but milk, dangal, and home alone 2 are all classics in vastly different ways38. money or brains? i don’t think either of these matter really40. how many times have you been to the hospital?i think like once when i was little to get surgery on my ear but that’s it42. do you take any medications daily? no but sometimes i eat my little sister’s gummy vitamins44. what is your biggest fear? probably, like, burning out and having nowhere to go in life 46. whats your go to hair style?i usually have it down or in a ponytail if im lazy or want it out of my face nothin fancy48. who is your role model? i don’t think i really have one i just do my own shit50. what was the last text you sent?“decapitated”52. what is your dream car? i don’t really care as long as it goes i’m fine54. do you go to college? nope not yet56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? suburbs but god i’m a city slicker at heart58. do you have freckles? sorta!! they’re kinda hard to see cause they’re rly close to my skin tone but they’re definitely there60. how many pictures do you have on your phone? 2,681 😧 i need to migrate to goog photes though i’m running outta room62. do you still watch cartoons? no but i stay pretty well versed in them thanks to my little sister64. Favorite dipping sauce? RANCH BABEY66. have you ever won a spelling bee?nope68. can you draw? i sure hope so70. what was the last concert you saw? muse with miranda on friday it was really fun hell YEHA72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?they’re actually both pretty good I mostly have starbucks cause that’s what we have here on the west coast but i had dunkin donuts a few times on the east coast and it was really good74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?god i don’t even think i have a crush on anyone right now what a cool life76. what color looks best on you? mostly dark colors like black navy blue burgundy etc but i’ve bought like 3 olive green things recently that i love78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?CLOSED i cannot stand to have any light in my room80. what is your biggest pet peeve? this is really weird but like when the room is quiet except for someone watching a video on they phone it drives me up the fuckin wall and i have to leave the room or i die82. favorite ice cream flavor? it depends on where i’m getting it from honestly but gelato classico white chocolate raspberry is my SHIT84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? rainbow hit me with that gay shit86. what is your phone background?cool pic of the bay bridge88. do you like it when people play with your hair?ahhhhhhhh yea90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?uh like just when i shower every day lol92. have you ever been drunk? YEAH haha i got drunk for the first time last weekend on the beach with percy i was all giggly and it was so fun and good94. favorite lyrics right nowgod i. don’t know i haven’t listened to stuff in so long96. day or night? night98. favorite month? october for sure100. who was the last person you cried in front of? i think my family when i dropped a pyrex full of lemon rice directly on my toe and it hurt REALLY bad

[nadi-nadi]

100 questions tag

tagged by @justkeeponsimming obvi 💕

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? closed, because i never leave them open omg

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? no, mine are better

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? i had to google what does it mean and i think they’re out

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? no, everybody knows i’m a good girl, officer

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? only to note what i want others to buy me

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? imagine having coupons in poland, can’t relate

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? bees, at least i’d have a chance to live

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? no, but i wish i had some, freckles are soooo cute

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? mostly, because if i don’t i look like a rude cunt

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? oh boy, i could write an essay on my pet peeves

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? no, but lemme tell you i make like 3 and a half a day

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? boy, i lived next to a forest for 12 years, of course i did

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? not sure, but i guess so?

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? yehhh

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? no, it’s gross but i do chew on straws (and i drink all cold drinks though a straw)

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? none, i’m such a virgin

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? idk? 1,5 person??

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? annie lennox - don’t let it bring you down

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? iS iT oK FoR GuYs To WeAr PiNk?

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? no, i don’t really watch anything rn

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? anything with adam sander, i hate his guts

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? up in my ass

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? water with lemons, i only drink water now

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? sand, chickens really love sand baths, they might become stressed when they don’t have some sand to bathe in :(

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? i don’t know, i don’t care about food too much? i like vegan pizza tho

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? kill bill, american beauty

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? some random guy at a party, but it was a long time ago

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? no, i was too lazy

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? if my titties were a lil bit bigger then sure, i love myself

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? 12 or 13 years ago me and my friend were writing letters because WE WERE KIDS AND I DIDN’T HAVE INTERNET BACK THEN

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? no, it gets you dirty

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? but...

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? i don’t even have a car nor a driver’s licence

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? i like sandwiches!!! with avocado, all kinds of vegan shit or with peanut butter

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? i only drink green tea for breakfast, how sad

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? midnight - 1am mostly

37. ARE YOU LAZY? is lana del rey the most beautiful woman in the world?

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? we don’t celebrate halloween in this shithole

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? the ox!!

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? polish, english, a lil bit of russian and i used to learn german but lmao the only thing i can say is “ich habe keine lust”

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? no, but now i wish i lived in the uk and subscribed to elle ehh

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? the fuck are lincoln logs lmaoooo

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? as fuck

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? dude i’m from poland, have some mercy

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? used to watch muñeca brava when i was little lmao

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? yesss, but i’m slowly overcoming the fear

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? when i’m riding with my mom (this is our song) or with my brother

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? yes, i always start with florida kilos, then lolita and i like to end the show with black beauty (all by ldr)

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? sometimes, yes

50. EVER USED A GUN? does a bow count?

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? when i was 7

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? yes! but some of them are iconic (hsm!!!!)

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? i only get the second hand stress from everyone around me, i don’t celebrate christmas anymore

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? UM YESS?? i don’t like them that much but they’re so popular in poland omg

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? i... don’t eat pies :(

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? a hoe, a singer, a doctor, an architect blah blah, i just wanna be a sb now

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? kinda

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? all the time

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? not daily, but i take b12 weekly

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? y e s, do you guys walk around your house barefoot or what

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? rn? no. sometimes? yes.

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? p a j a m a s you naughty

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? like... a concert of a person i really wanted to see? then none. but i’m seeing lana in august ahhhh

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? biedronka, tesco or lidl?

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? both or none, idk

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? what are fritos :(

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? NUTS

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? noo? ever hear of our lord and savior lana del rey?

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? not really, unfortunately

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? something that gets him lots of $$, idc what

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? :( no :(

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? we don’t have thoooose, because in polish you spell everything the way it’s written, it wouldn’t be fun at all lmao

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? yeah, probably but i cry VERY rarely

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? i don’t, but my dad has shit ton of old classics

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? as above - my dad has one

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? regularly? no. sometimes? yehh

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? i only ever loved lana

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? lana (obvi), the weeknd, cupcakke, marina

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? some shitband, i don’t even remember their name

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? how much do you need to hate yourself to drink cold tea

81. TEA OR COFFEE? green tea, because HeAlThY

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? sugar daddies

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? i haven’t swam in like 8 years, but i think i still could, the only thing is i’m afraid of wetting my hair

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? for like 20 secs yes

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? very patient, maybe even too patient

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? what wedding aksjdlasfklaj I DON’T KNOW HER

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? yes, i won katy perry’s album once lmaoo

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? not yet *winky dinky*

89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? none, olives are disgusting

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? my mom taught me how to knit but i don’t remember anymore

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? fireplace in every roooooooom

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? NO.

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? ugh

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? i had some crushes, but they were all trash

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? i’m not gonna cry nor throw a fit, but i WILL get my own way, mostly

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? yikes, don’t even say that

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? no i don’t, life’s so much more than getting married and fucking like rabbits

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? yellow

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? my mommy, my brother, my bff, also can you miss someone you’ve never seen? if so, then lana

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT?

no one sksklafl but it was fun

[trashyy-levi]

92 Truths

Rules: once you’ve been tagged write 92 Truths about yourself. At the end tag 25 people to tag. I was tagged by @nikkiecola  Thank you!!

LAST:

[1]Drink: Orange, Lemon and Pineapple Squash

[2]Phone call: My friends, Krystal, Becca, Olivia, Helen and Lucia

[3]Text message: “Cuz I leave sunday lunchtime”

[4]Song listened to: Still Into You by Paramore

[5]Time you cried: Wednesday - A scene in spiderman: HC made me tear up

[6]Dated someone twice: Never

[7]Been cheated on: December 2015

[8]Kissed someone and regretted it: Never been kissed

[9]Lost someone special: February 2016

[10]Been depressed: I had a pretty bad spell of it over Christmas

[11]Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve been drunk but never thrown up

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS;

[12] Pastel Blue [13] Lilac [14] Pastel Pink

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU;

[15] made new friends: Yes, in the past year i met my now best friends, they’re basically family

[16] fallen in love: Nah, unless Tom Holland or Matthew Daddario counts

[17] laughed until you cried: Absolutely, specially when i’m on call to friends

[18] found out someone was talking about you: Yea, they’re no longer in my life 

[19] met someone who’s changed you: Krystal, Becca and Olivia have helped me become more comforable in my own skin

[20] found out who your true friends are: 100%

[21] kissed someone on your Facebook list: Nah

[22] how many Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them

[23] do you have any pets: yea, i have smol black cat called rosie

[24] do you want to change your name: I’m hoping to get it legally changed to Levi when i turn 18 at the end of august

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: Had a barbecue with people i no longer speak to par like two of them, and just ate a shit tonne of cake

[26] what time did you wake up: 12:40pm ish - I was up til like 4 watching isak x even videos so

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: I was on call to my friend lucia

[28] name something you cannot wait for: To get my name changed and to start T even though it’s not going to happen for at least a year yet 😕

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: Yesterday evening. but she’ll be home in like an hour

[30] what is one thing you would change about your life: One day I wanna move closer to my faves and I want to be happy with my body

[31] what are you listening to right now: Forever and Ever by James Carter

[32] have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yea, I had kid called Tom in my tutor and i went to primary + secondary school with him

[33] Something that is getting on your nerves: rude customers who act like i’ve killed someone when I ask if they want a bag or if I say have a nice day after serving them :))

[34] Most visited website: Youtube and maybe pinterest

[35] elementary: Was okay but I was bullied quite alot

[36] highschool: secondary school for me was a bit all over the place some years were good, but then year 11 got super shitty for me and was just urgh, glad i’m out of that hellhole

[37] college: Just finished my A-levels waiting for my results,  hoping i did well so i can get on to the writing course i applied for

[38] natural hair color: I am a blonde

[39] long or short hair: Short <3

[40] do you have a crush on someone: other than tom holland and matthew daddario, nah

[41] what do you like about yourself: I like my enthusiasm towards things that interest me, people call me obsessive but I can’t see what’s wrong about being passionate about Marvel or a movie or show or anime or band or book, like what is so wrong about loving something wholly?? I also fucking love my new hair okay i look good xD which is rare for me to say because I have self esteem the size of a pea

[42] piercings: I have 3 on each ear lobe, one cartilage piercing on my left ear and my nose pierced

[43] blood type: Idfk

[44] nickname: Son, Legi, Level, Trash Monkey (all courtesy of Krystal <3) 

[45] relationship status: Single 🤴

[46] zodiac sign: Virgo

[47] pronouns: He/him

[48]favourite TV shows: Skam, Shadowhunters, Riverdale, Grey’s Anatomy, Haikyuu, Fairy Tail,K Project, Teen Wolf, Voltron

[49] tattoos: Not yet, but i’m getting one at the end of august once i turn 18

[50] left or right handed: Right 

FIRSTS;

[51] Surgery: Haven’t had one but eventually I want top surgery

[52] Piercing: Ears

[53] Best Friend: Lewis, I meant him in reception (kindergarten) but then he moved to Portugal and I was friendless for like 8 months and then I met a girl called Darcy who was new and then she was my best friend

[54] Sport: Swimming, I had lessons from the age of 6 cuz I was bored in the summer and my nan signed me up

[55] Vacation: My parents told me that we went to france when I was 1 and apparently i took my first steps there.

[56] Pair of trainers: i never rly wore trainers, so probably school daps or smth idk

[57] Eating: baby food

[58] Drinking: baby drinks

[59] I’m about to: watch youtube or something on Netflix, i haven’t decided yet

[60] I’m listening to: The reckless and the brave by all time low

[61] Waiting For: Hyper Japan

[62] Wanting: to get my GIC referral 

[63] Get married: not particularly

[64] Career: writing, i either wanna become a screen writer or a publisher

YOUR TYPE;

[65] hugs or kisses: both but i do love cuddling so hugs

[66] lips or eyes: eyes

[67] Shorter or Taller: I’m short anyways so taller

[68] Older or Younger: Older, i’m also the baby of all my friends so

[69] Romantic or Spontaneous: Spontaneous but then I also love people who are super chill so 

[70] Nice arms or nice stomach: both is good, but like i said i like hugs so comfy arms are good <3

[71] Sensitive or Loud: I just want someone who can match my weirdness but also who isn’t a dick so a bit of both

[72] Hook-up or relationship: relationship

[73] Trouble maker or hesitant: trouble maker

HAVE YOU EVER;

[74] Kissed a Stranger: Never kissed anybody so no

[75] Drank hard liquor: Yea, mainly vodka

[76] Lost glasses/contacts: I don’t have either so no

[77] Turned someone down: Yah,

[78] Had sex on first date: Nah

[79] Broken someone’s heart: Not that i know of? I’m the one who gets dumped or fucked over so 

[80] Had your heart broken: My ex broke up with me cuz I came out as trans which sucked 

[81] Been arrested: Nah

[82] Cried when someone died: My nan died when I was young so i never really cried, I was sad about it though and i do miss her

[83] Fallen for a friend: My ex and I were friends for a year before we started dating

DO YOU BELIEVE IN;

[84] Yourself: Never used to but I do now, well more than I used to at least

[85] Miracles: Not really

[86] Love at first sight: I believe in lust at first sight? but personally I don’t think you can love someone until you get to know them

[87] Santa Claus: Nahh I was a cynical 9 year old and now i’m an even more cynical very nearly 18 year 😂

[88] Kiss on first date: Yea, i don’t see anything wrong with that, there’s no rush or timeline for these things though

[89] Angels: did you mean alec lightwood

[90] Current best friends name: Krystal, Becca, Olivia and Helen

[91] eye color: Umm they’re blue but some days they’re a lighter blue and soem days they’re darker

[92] fav movies: Spider-man Homecoming (i’ve already seen it 3 times in cinema) umm, the breakfast club, Doukyuusei, Deadpool, Fairy Tail: Dragon Cry and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and Half-blood prince

I tag:

@damndanhowell @danizntonfire @evaaks @endearingphil @suga-swan @fandomsoverpeople @galaxyphan @oisvgas @gaysontheice @heartbreakhowelll @just-a-touch-of-phan @karasuno @karasuhoe @lancejacket @lessamazinghowell @miss-cigarettes @macnkeith @nekkoma @qanhowell @ratinof @radiophan @sarcasticphan @takemetovikturi @viktor-nikiforov-san @isakvalty

[mouthmoodz]

ALL THE QUESTIONS

YOU ABSOLUTE MADMAN

ok here we goooo

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? 

Spotify

2. is your room messy or clean?

Usually messy

3. what color are your eyes?

Hazelicious

4. do you like your name? why?

yeah i like my first name a lot actually? (riley) i like that it’s a gender neutral name; idk why exactly but i wouldn’t want to have a girl’s name. and i’m glad my parents spelled it right. 

5. what is your relationship status? 

Singlé

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

“annoying little fucker”

7. what color hair do you have?

Red

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

silver 2002 oldsmobile intrigue

9. where do you shop?

the world wide web

10. how would you describe your style?

executive dysfunction femme (with occasional bursts of lolita or otome)

continued under the cut

11. favorite social media account

tunglr dot net i suppose, i have the most followers and pals here by far

12. what size bed do you have? 

Twin.

13. any siblings?

I have an older brother

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

hmm, to be honest it’s hard to say because I’ve been hardly anywhere so I don’t know what kind of place I would enjoy being the most. But probably a fairly large city somewhere in the US, i just don’t know which one.

15. favorite snapchat filter? 

doggo

16. favorite makeup brand(s)

I love Too Faced. love to actually own some of their products someday

17. how many times a week do you shower?

i have depression

18. favorite tv show?

the x-files or always sunny

19. shoe size?

6

20. how tall are you?

5′1″

21. sandals or sneakers? 

sneakers

22. do you go to the gym? 

who the fuck do you think i am,

23. describe your dream date

I never know how to answer this question because not to be corny but if I really like the person I’m on the date with then it doesn’t matter that much what we’re doing??? as long as it’s not something really boring.

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? 

$6.03

25. what color socks are you wearing? 

white

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

two

27.do you have a job? what do you do? 

ya i’m a library page

28. how many friends do you have? 

Depends how narrowly you define the term “friend.” Also I’m not going to try to count because that’s just not chill

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? 

Depends on your perspective

30. whats your favorite candle scent? 

I like vanilla scented candles

31. 3 favorite boy names

32. 3 favorite girl names

this is super hard for some reason? once my friend made me decide what i would name a boy and a girl if i had them and eventually we came up with alice and tristan. other than that i’m not sure, though recently I have thought that Neil is a very nice boy name. we all know why this is, of course, but it really is I swear. 

33. favorite actor? 

34. favorite actress? 

I don’t really know or care about famous people that much ever so I’m just gonna say like.... everyone from star wars.

35. who is your celebrity crush?

Like I said, I don’t really know or care much about famous people. And most of them are shitty people and/or not interesting.

36. favorite movie? 

i have seen like 0 movies ever but i like edward scissorhands a lot

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? 

yeah i do and i guess my favorite book is the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy

38. money or brains? 

money my dog i’m neither a sapiosexual nor a fool

39. do you have a nickname? what is it? 

there have been a number of variations applied to me over the years but the most common one at the moment is probably riler

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

none for an emergency, several times for gettin my brain scanned by a big ol magnet and shit like that

41. top 10 favorite songs

i answered this not that long ago when i reblogged this ask meme before so i will just endeavor to say 10 DIFFERENT songs that i like a lot, again in no particular order

love is greed- passion pit

soratobu toshikeikaku- capsule

1901- phoenix

undercover martyn- two door cinema club

untrust us- crystal castles

orpheus and eurydice- allegra rosenberg

drunk drivers/killer whales- car seat headrest

life on the nickel- foster the people

dirty paws- of monsters and men

wallspin- neil cicierega

42. do you take any medications daily? 

ya lexapro and wellbutrin

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

dry

44. what is your biggest fear? 

never accomplishing anything worthwhile

45. how many kids do you want? 

zero

46. whats your go to hair style?

doing absolutely nothing to my hair

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) 

small

48. who is your role model? 

my boy neil c, unproblematic fave of the century

49. what was the last compliment you received?

I think it was when i was in the grocery store and someone said “I love your red hair!” They also had red hair. feels good feels organic even though I don’t like talking to strangers

50. what was the last text you sent?

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

I never really "found out,” I just sort of figured it out. I forget when exactly, but it was pretty early on.

52. what is your dream car?

nyan cat lamborghini

53. opinion on smoking?

it’s bad for you but i’m not an Ass to people who do it

54. do you go to college?

ya

55. what is your dream job?

artist, author, some sort of independent content creation like that

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

the suburbs i guess? unless the rural place was exceptionally beautiful

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? 

no ‘cause i’m not a CRIME DOER

58. do you have freckles?

fuck dude i sure do

59. do you smile for pictures?

yes but only with my mouth closed and if the person taking the picture isn’t taking their sweet time about it

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone? 

1559

61. have you ever peed in the woods?

nope

62. do you still watch cartoons?

I haven’t lately since I stopped watching su and nothing else has caught my attention but I’m not opposed to the idea

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

I don’t really eat fast food

64. Favorite dipping sauce?

ranch dressing

65. what do you wear to bed?

i usually wear a nightgown

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

no but i came in third place in one once

67. what are your hobbies?

reading, drawing, not writing, lolita fashion, collecting obscure pictures of internet funnyman neil cicieregegerega

68. can you draw?

allegedly

69. do you play an instrument?

haha funy sex number. no but i used to play the viola

70. What was the last concert you saw?

I’ve never been to a proper concert

71. tea or coffee?

tea

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

i don’t go to either of those places

73. Do you want to get married?

I go back and forth on this. It’s not super important to me, but if I was ever truly convinced I wanted to stay with somebody forever I’d go ahead and do it

74. what’s your crush’s first and last initial

FUCK both their first and last initial are not that common so people would be able to tell who i am talking about probably

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

I’m a gay but I guess if my wife had a cooler last name I might take it

76. what color looks best on you?

black probably

77. Do you miss anybody right now?

Ya my friends!! We haven’t hung out very much lately :(

78. Do you sleep with your door open or closed?

Closed

79. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes because I am one

80. What’s your biggest pet peeve?

I fucking hate it when people crack their knuckles!! Stop it what are you doing to your APPENDAGES you weirdoes!!!

81. last person you called?

my mom

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

chocolate chip cookie dough

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?

Golden oreos tbh

84. Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

Sprinkles don’t taste very good and they’re essentially pointless but at least rainbow sprinkles are pretty

85. What shirt are you wearing?

A plain black pullover hoodie

86. What is your phone background?

Unico in Bloomland 

87. are you outgoing or shy?

shy

88. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

idk no one does that but it depends who it is i guess

89. do you like your neighbors?

I don’t know them but they have never been annoying so they’re cool i suppose

90. Do you wash your face? At night? In the morning?

no i just cleanse it along with the rest of me the way god intended, in the Shower

91. Have you ever been high?

yeah once it was pretty fun

92. have you ever been drunk?

nope

93. Last thing you ate?

A green bean. except it wasn’t a green bean, but some other bullshit type of bean that’s practically the same thing only not.

94. favorite lyrics right now

“if you were a piece of dust, I’d shine a light through the busted window and I’d learn to trust in the updraft that you’re on.” -The Only House That’s Not On Fire (Yet) by Lemon Demon

95. summer or winter?

summer

96. day or night?

time is fake my guy

97. dark, white, or milk chocolate?

milk

98. favorite month?

Hmm... maybe october

99. what is your zodiac sign?

pinchy the crab

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

my best friend

[msf-diamond-dog]

1-100! :)

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? I use Apple Music

2. is your room messy or clean?Clean, usually

3. what color are your eyes?Brown

4. do you like your name? why?Yeah, I do. I’m not sure why.

5. what is your relationship status? Single :’D

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less“Big fuckin asshole”

7. what color hair do you have?Black. My beard has some blond/brown in it for some reason though.

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?A orange jeep usually.

9. where do you shop?AT THE STORE.

10. how would you describe your style?Lazy lumberjack/goth

11. favorite social media accountProbably Tumblr.

12. what size bed do you have? Queen

13. any siblings?A younger sister and an older brother

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?Arizona. I fucking hate daylight savings.

15. favorite snapchat filter? Don’t have one

16. favorite makeup brand(s)I don’t really know any!

17. how many times a week do you shower?7

18. favorite tv show?Right now, probably Always Sunny.

19. shoe size?11 and a half, I think.

20. how tall are you?Last I checked, 6 feet.

21. sandals or sneakers? I wear boots.

22. do you go to the gym? I don’t have a membership anywhere so no

23. describe your dream dateI don’t care really, spending time with her would be the best part

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?Like 20 bucks

25. what color socks are you wearing? Black

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?Two

27. do you have a job? what do you do? Been looking for one. Just a full-time student atm.

28. how many friends do you have? At least several.

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? I told a gullible friend that lemon helps cuts and she actually did it. 😔

30. whats your favorite candle scent? Tobacco and Vanilla 🙏

31. 3 favorite boy namesIunno

32. 3 favorite girl namesIunno

33. favorite actor?Iunno

34. favorite actress? Iunno

35. who is your celebrity crush?Don’t have one.

36. favorite movie?Right now, Deadpool and Lego Batman.

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I don’t read as much as I would like to. Right now I’m really liking the Witcher series.

38. money or brains? Brains

39. do you have a nickname? what is it? Danny, Dandan, DJ, JJ, Deej…many nicknames.

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?Never for myself

41. top 10 favorite songsAT THE MOMENT: A Pirates Prayer - ZaoFear Itself - Zaok_OS - Circle of DustTwenty-Three - Project 86Genosha - Project 86Calling Me Too Soon - KornCherry Bomb - Tyler, the CreatorYonkers - Tyler, the CreatorGrave - HellyeahThe Stars of Orion - Celldweller

42. do you take any medications daily? I have to take like, 9 pills a day 😔

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)My hands get super dry in winter. Other tha that, normal I guess?

44. what is your biggest fear? Deaths of family and friends

45. how many kids do you want? At least two!

46. whats your go to hair style?Buzzed or shaved.

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) Small.

48. who is your role model? I don’t really have only one. I think everyone has something about them I can learn from.

49. what was the last compliment you received?Someone said I was sweet.

50. what was the last text you sent?They close at 8.

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?I’ve actually never belived in Santa

52. what is your dream car? One with good gas mileage that has ac and an aux 😂

53. opinion on smoking?Against it for myself but if you smoke thats your deal.

54. do you go to college? Yep! Halfway done.

55. what is your dream job? One that pays money.

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Rural

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Nah

58. do you have freckles? Very subtlely but yeah.

59. do you smile for pictures?Depends

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone? More than two.

61. have you ever peed in the woods? Yeah

62. do you still watch cartoons? Hells yeah.

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?I’ve never tried Wendy’s so McDonald’s I guess.

64. Favorite dipping sauce? Don’t care really

65. what do you wear to bed? Shorts and a T shirt usually

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?Npoe

67. what are your hobbies?Music, art, games, ect.

68. can you draw? Not well.

69. do you play an instrument?Bass guitar

70. what was the last concert you saw? Project 86 back in October

71. tea or coffee?Coffee

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?Starbucks

73. do you want to get married?Yes

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?GAC (not ghost adventures crew)

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married? I’m open to it, but I havent really thought about it

76. what color looks best on you? Black

77. do you miss anyone right now? Yeah.

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?Closed

79. do you believe in ghosts?Not really

80. what is your biggest pet peeve? Bad drivers

81. last person you called`My brother

82. favorite ice cream flavor? Strawberry probably.

83. regular oreos or golden oreos? GOLDEN.

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Rainbow tastes better cause of the magic.

85. what shirt are you wearing? A Marilyn Manson shirt

86. what is your phone background?The wolf medallion from the Witcher

87. are you outgoing or shy?Very shy usually. Takes a long time for me to be myself around people.

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?My hair is not long enough to play with but I love playing with hair!

89. do you like your neighbors? They aight.

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?Before bed usually

91. have you ever been high? Nah

92. have you ever been drunk? Yes

93. last thing you ate? A piece of bread

94. favorite lyrics right now“It’s not a choice but it is a decision” by Otep

95. summer or winter? Winter!

96. day or night? Night!

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? White

98. favorite month? December or January

99. what is your zodiac signGemini

100. who was the last person you cried in front of? I don’t even remember but it was probably my sister.

Thank you Jana! C: