#but this alt sent me over the edge man

[dentos-wife]

Let’s talk about Grima and how the characterization has changed a bit since Awakening, where let’s be honest there’s not much character there. But I feel like the little amount we got only of the Grimas portrays the original character now. I’ve been watching people fight over this back and forth in various places so I did a comparison and brought in some friends who don’t know Fire Emblem for their thoughts.

TLDR version: MGrima is the only one who captures the world ending hateful fell dragon vibe while FGrima has been feminized and softened because she’s the girl version and I hate it when media does this

With their base versions it was more like the Corrins or the Byleths general same message but a squint or you miss it difference

Male:

“I am the wings of despair. I am the breath of ruin. I am the fell dragon, Grima. Pay me the respect I am due, and I promise you a painless death”

Female:

“I am the wings of despair. I am the breath of ruin. I am the fell dragon, Grima. Pay me the respect I am due, and I will consider granting you a quick death when the time comes.“

Super similar, the boy however comes off as more threatening, no when the time comes or considering it. This is where the tiny differences started

Castle lines

Male:

“Ha. You fight for world peace? Stay your tongue. Such pretty little words sicken me.”

“My mind becomes muddy when I try to recall certain things... A side effect of traveling through space and time? Curse this frail body.”

“You fight for the happiness of all the people in this world? Hahaha, tell me... Did you come up with that little motto all by yourself? Go on, you can tell me what your heart truly desires.”

“You show promise, despite being human. If you continue to appease me, I may let you serve me.”

“Rite after rite, and still my memories refuse to return. This is beyond infuriating.. Maybe I'll go start a war to cheer myself up.”

Female:

“Wriggle like a worm trying to escape my boot, or die squished like a worthless maggot. Either way, you are little more than an insect.”

“Ugh... My splitting head... I remember nothing of my time in that other world... Nothing at all.”

“How about you stop pretending to be so selfless and tell me what you really wish for? Maybe I can grant it...”

“You show promise, despite being human. Of course, that's like being the smartest worm in the dirt. But still... I see enough in you that I could entertain the idea of keeping you by my side.”

“Memories or no, I will lay waste to the world all the same. You think me so fickle I'd change my mind?”

Still very similar but the male has slightly more personality by laughing and making little remarks here and there that the female doesn’t, still subtle though not a big deal it’s in what you prefer like most with an avatar preference and it’s still the same base character, however the female for whatever reason does come off as softer

Let’s do their confessions

Male

“You are a curious one... You willingly come to chat with me? The fell dragon? Alone? You know full well how I detest humans. They have no qualms asking for divine assistance when it meets their fickle needs... But how quick they are to shun their benefactors once they get what they desire. They become arrogant and make the same mistakes repeatedly, incapable of learning the folly of their ways. They claim their actions are for the good of others, but that's merely a show of self-indulgence. Humans are selfish. And the ugliness of mankind has turned me repulsive. It's the world that wants me to be evil. And yet you claim to need me here? Enough of your lies, worm. How dare you look at me with such a gaze. Do not dare pity me!”

Female

“Come to butter me up some more? How very irksome. I've nothing to chat about with a human. Humans spout their ideals, but it's nothing but lip service. Let's all join together and hold hands, you'll say. We can overcome our differences despite being different species, despite our differing core ideologies. The truth is what you see daily in this place. Day after day, night after night, all you have is never-ending war. One person's satisfaction means another must suffer. That is the truth of all worlds. But my power of destruction is the one true equalizer. If you think there's someone out there capable of leading the world with such high-minded ideas of love and bonds... I'd love to meet them. Hmph. After all that, you still talk your big talk? Very well. I'll watch over you... Right until your bitter end.“

It’s still extremely slight but the differences become more clear here, They’re the same lines but the male is more angry and the female more bitter. However it’s the same character. Granted if it were up to me the girl would just have the boys lines since Awakening they are the same but I get it, no one wants a copy. This was a good way to do the similar but different vibe of them though it still does have the female can’t be as angry stereotype bleeding through. It’s not perfect I’d make her angrier but it could be a lot worse. And then it gets worse…

Let’s talk about the Halloween alts because that’s when everything completely goes haywire. The outfits for one

Okay so yes this is a silly festival and both are fanservice it’s a fanservice game I get that but which one comes off as a more imposing force? The male’s ears look real his claws look sharp he actually looks like a threat goofy outfit or not. The female on the other hand has costume ears and booty shorts. She looks like a parody of the boys outfit.

She got an outfit like this because she’s a girl. But sadly it doesn’t stop there. The *lines* even sound like a parody

Male:

“If I had my way, this absurd festival would not exist...since there would be nothing but ruin in my wake.”

"Trick or treat?" Pah. Try "the utter destruction of the world, or treat." And I do not have a sweet tooth.

“Giving thanks for the harvest? Hmph. Of course you worms would waste time on something so meaningless. Resources exist to be consumed. It's as simple as that.”

“Before you play a trick on me, think hard of the consequences. Surely even a worm like you can imagine it”.

“You think I'm enjoying all this? Perhaps in your complacency you've forgotten the danger you're in.”

Female:

“I hoped to find the power I seek at this harvest festival... But it seems that was a mistake.”

“Festivals are nothing more than a brief reprieve from despair. The vain struggle of a worm...”

“Submit or suffer!...Must I say "trick or treat"? How dull.”

“If you intend to play a trick on me, it will be your last. Such foolishness is absolutely intolerable.”

“Costumes are a fool's amusement. Who was it who said it would be enjoyable, again? I'll kill them first.”

But hey I liked MGrima since his debut, loved his personality so I could be coming into this with a bias. So! I asked some friends who knew nothing about FE hey what vibe do these characters give off and is it the same vibe? Here’s their lines have fun. Here’s the result of that conversation

“I know this is not a general way to tell quality but . . . Male Grima dialogues are not only richer but also way longer in both cases lol and honestly? They could very well be saying the same here, the dialogue should stay the same or almost the same here they're supposed to treat the same topic with SMALL variations, since they're supposed to be the same person you know? But each convo seems to be about something completely different. He comes out to me as emo (in the most positive way), while she's supposed to be Btchy Daughter of Actual Evil Boss. He's somewhat menacing, and the way he talks makes him look (from my POV) like a depressing person to be around, a party pooper. YET I guess his words are too strong for a girl's mouth so that's why she gotta be cute about this instead. She can't be too deep or serious, that's not interesting in a girl”

Agree? Disagree?

The confessions are honestly the best example of this problem because one is uh not as deep let’s say

Male:

“It seems you possess a grave misunderstanding of the harvest festival, [Summoner]. You may celebrate nature's bounty, but remember that there are winners and losers in every exchange. For you to gain something, someone else must lose it. What brings joy to you casts bitter sorrow upon another. Those without the will or power to resist can only be crushed underfoot. Such is the nature of the harvest. Now you see the world through the Fell Dragon's eyes. Thus, I ask you: Are you the hunter or the hunted? Consider well your path. For my part, I will continue to reap the harvest's bounty through ruin and despair!”

Female:

“Enjoy your short lives while you can, worms. Before long, utter darkness will smother you... Although... These sweets are quite palatable. Subtle sweetness with a delicate mouthfeel, I— Yah! How long have you been there, [Summoner]?! What did you hear?! No, nothing! There was nothing TO hear. Yes. I wish to harvest ruin and despair. Sweets harbor no interest for me. But next time the harvest festival comes around, I expect an invitation. Promise me, lest I am forced to destroy this world. You understand...”

From another friend who also knows nothing about FE

“The male one sounds like he's speaking from experience, like he's witnessed or taken part in many wars or other kinds of conflicts, and has crushed people who believed they were more powerful than him with his own hands The female one's personality is closer to a tsundere“

Look at how you can actually get Grima’s personality from his lines and not so much the girl. Now imagine flipping them. The male is the tsundere candy lover and the girl is the ancient old dragon, does that make you realize how weird it is?

MCorrin and FCorrin have matching halloween alts in comparison and even have the same lines with slight differences, they’re like twins

Which is what you’d expect with the literal same character just in a different body. Alas...

Which now brings us to the next alt of all, based off this cipher card

Boobs! And sexualization to the max, the hehe I’m evil pose? the daintiness it’s so...

Her lines too, she whispers “devote yourself to me entirely” seductively, I bet they will not do that with the male, if they do I’ll eat my words and gladly

So I showed my friend this one’s lines and says hey thoughts?

“the dominatrix fetish is too blatant, but like not in a cool way you know, the classical of a girl that is introduced as this ruthless being of doom but gets nerfed mid-story when she falls in love with the unremarkable plain male prota of this proto harem, and she like . . . Has Been Secretly Soft And Needy All This Time and literally drops everything she's after to become An Ideal Wife for the male prota, picks up feminine interests and hobbies in hopes to be more appealing to him that's the vibes I get from this female Grima or whatever she's supposed to be“

She’s very curious what the matching males lines are going to be

But this brings me to my point why is Grima so different depending on if he has a male or female vessel? It really shouldn’t be this way, in Awakening Grima’s lines were exactly the same no matter if it was MRobin or FRobin because Grima is a murderous humanity hating dragon but since Halloween...man you do not get that vibe from the girl anymore. You do from the boy. I know why it’s like this sex sells yada yada yada. I also know the boy gets some of it like the damage art but that’s damage art, almost everyone has it, FGrima here goes above and beyond that to softening her lines and doing an evil queen vibe and that’s a crime dammit!

Like yeah I know the base does this to both and it’s fine when it’s the fanbase but when CANON does it to only one of them, it’s flat out sexism

MGrima alt based off this cipher card when? If hers was based off the cipher card I doubt he’s sharing her outfit but if he does I demand the same girly pose; it’s equality

And then once they’re matched up again stop with the Grimas and never bring them out again, we didn’t need this many Grimas go back to Robin. I like Grima I’ll take his alts (no longer the girl unless they stop the uh fetishing tbh I’m a little uncomfortable with this recent one...) but this is a crime for both Robin now. FRobin being an GHB unit has no resplendent and no version in the main pool. She unlike MRobin did get a seasonal to herself earlier this year though. In comparison MRobin has a resplendent but if you don’t count the duo and some don’t because Chrom is the lead, hasn’t gotten an alt to himself since 2017. And since we got FGrima sounds like he has to wait longer for that since MGrima would drop first.

Unless we get an MRobin to go with this FGrima but that opens up even *more* sexualization issues; FRobin is only popular when evil and sexy so that’s the alt she gets while the male gets to be himself? Eeeh that’s really gross. So in that regard I hope we get one more MGrima and they’re shoved in the closet for good, allowing the real Robin’s to shine. Halloween was a neat idea the werewolf represented the Robin to Grima connection in a cool way considering werewolf lore and it was a good alt choice well...for the one who actually looked like a werewolf...

I know this is a problem of female sexualization and FE is not the only franchise where this is a problem but man GRIMA?!

And okay you could argue well M and F Robin are probably the most difference in personality avatars we have and you’re right but that makes it even stranger. FRobin is ever so slightly meaner and harsher than MRobin who is a little kinder. So then why would having Grima take over make MRobin the meaner and harsher one shouldn’t it stay on FRobin?

I only like the characterization on MGrima at this point, Girlma (as I call her) now feels like a completely different character, a toned down female parody of the other and it’s a damn shame even the creature that wiped out all of humanity and sent the world into despair got the “girls need to be sexy or cute” treatment.

Anyway that’s just me, FGrima fans you guys are cool if you like her that’s wonderful don’t take this as an attack or anything I just wanted to write out my thoughts that have been bothering me since the Halloween alts which should have been the final Grima alts but...you know money

[randofics]

Night Drive

TFP Optimus prime x southern reader

I was listening to some romantic country songs and thought this one up. It starts off slow. Optimus needs some love so let's give it to him. Soft dom Optimus but who am I kidding there's no way he wouldn't be a dom.

18+ Under the cut

-----------------

Optimus was many things but you were sure he didn't have a sexual (bone) in him. He never did or said anything towards anyone that was even accidentally sexual. But he was most definitely attractive at least to you. His voice was so deep and it sent shivers down your spine when he spoke to you. You knew however that you couldn't make a move on him. He's centuries older and not even the same species let alone size.

You were on your phone sitting on the couch when his voice caught your attention. He stood next to Rachet at the computer asking him something. With your earbuds in it was hard to tell what he was saying. He noticed you looking at him and gave you a smile continuing his chat with Rachet. You looked back to your phone and an idea came to your mind. You swapped to your camera and took a picture of him as he leaned forward hands on the edge of the table holding the computers.

You made it your home screen pic knowing that you barely used your phone when you were out in public. Let alone not have any apps open so it wasn't covered. You chuckled when you looked the photo over again. You were startled by Optimus's voice as he called to you. He had turned around and was looking at you. You took out your earbuds so you could hear him properly. " Come with me y/n." You stood and without question jogged down the steps to the concrete floor. He transformed into his alt mode and popped his driver side door open for you.

"Where we headed Op?" You buckled your seatbelt and placed your hands on his steering wheel. "You'll see." He drove out through the bases tunnel and into the cool desert night. "You mind if I put on some music?" He chuckled. "Go ahead." His radio came on and you twisted the dial to a country music station. He mentioned once that he rather liked country music, and you thought it fit his personality perfectly. As he continued to drive you looked out the window watching the desert go by in a blur.

He slowed and turned down a dirt road. You were far from town and there wasn't an artificial light in sight, only the stars and his headlights. Your heartrate quickened as you thought about what he was planning. You were sure he wouldn't do anything nefarious but it still made you a bit nervous. He drove up a hill and parked giving you a view of the Nevada desert. Large rock pillars were scattered about below, and the stars shown spectacularly. "I come here occasionally to think or clear my processor." "So why did you bring me here?" "Well it's also rather beautiful like you." You blushed at his compliment.

He did not just compliment you! You couldn't believe it, he had never even shown signs that he liked you more than as a friend. "Th- thank you Optimus." You didn't know what else to say and neither did he apparently as he didn't say anything either. You looked at the stars through his windshield, leaning back against his seat. (Sugarland- want to) started to play on the radio making the awkward atmosphere turn comfortable again. You relaxed as the calming music played. Suddenly a shooting star flew across the sky and you wished this moment wouldn't end anytime soon. As you looked at the stars you tried to find constellations. You eventually found Ursa major but couldn't find anything else. The song soon ended but it was quickly followed by (Luke Bryan- Drunk on you). The lyrics made you blush and your heart beat faster again.

Optimus had noticed the change in atmosphere as well as the lyrics. As he pictured what the man was singing about he couldn't help but think how similar his description of the woman was to you. You were wearing cowboy boots and well used bell bottom jeans with a tight t-shirt. The song slowd a bit as the man sang some of the last lyrics.

So let's slip on out where it's a little bit darker

And when it gets a little bit hotter

We'll take it off on out in the water

Those lyrics left him thinking about you in the water of a pond at night, your clothes hanging on the branch of a tree. How he would love to hold you and kiss you as you swam in the cool water.

He turned on his holoform which fizzled as it became visible. It startled you at first but when you realized it was just his holoform you relaxed again. You had seen it a couple of times and you couldn't help but think it was just as attractive as the real thing. "Hey." "Hello." He smiled at you. This was so awkward! Yet you also wished you were in his lap right now. You noticed the shirt his holoform had on was a plaid button up with a white shirt underneath. He usually had a generals uniform on but you guessed this holoform was for civilian work. (Lee Brice- Rumor) came on next and you turned the volume down a bit. You decided to try something.

You leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek. "What was that for?" He looked perplexed. "Cause your always so sweet and for that compliment earlier." "Perhaps I should compliment you more often then." You blushed madly as he gave you a small grin. He most definitely just flirted with you. "Why don't you come over here so I can compliment other parts of you." You were as red as a tomato now. "Um o-ok." You climbed over the center console and into his lap. His hands landed on your hips. "How about we follow what this man is singing about? Let's give the others something to talk about." You squeaked at that making him chuckle. "Would you like that?" You nodded in response and his hand cups your cheek, bringing you closer. Your lips connect and you moan into him. Your hands go up to his hair to pull on the black and grey locks.

He deepens the kiss sliding his tongue into your mouth. He pulls your hips flush to his and places a hand on the small of your back. When you break away from him for air he takes the chance to attack your neck. When he finds your sweet spot you mewl and tug his hair harder. "Op-Optimus!"

"Mmm." That sound sends shivers down your spine. He licks your throat making you thrust your hips into him. He grunts at your movement. He grabs your rear with both hands and thrusts into your clothed core making you arch your back. He kisses you again as he ruts into you. Your nails scratching his back. You cry out at a particularly well placed thrust. His hands roam over your back and sides as he thrusts into you harder he lifts your shirt over your head suddenly and then starts to kiss your chest. Your coil tightens as his thrusts get rougher.

"Come on baby let go." He growls in your ear making your coil tighten even further. You're almost there. He let's out a possessive growl that makes your coil finally snap. Your thighs tighten on his hips and your body goes rigid as you release. You cry out his name and that tips him over the edge. He uses both hands to push your hips into him as much as possible. He grunts and growls in your ear as he releases. You relax in his arms and try to steady your breath. Your hand goes to his cheek making him look at you. You kiss him sweetly and feel him relax under you. Pulling away you press your forehead against his. "I suppose I should take you home so you can rest." You sigh then yawn confirming that you are tired. "Can we stay like this for a bit?" He chuckles. "Of course darling."

[voiceoffenrisulfr]

Hail Hydra - Chapter Fourteen "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation."

Bucky finds out what it is to be a part of Zola’s experiment, and is marked as Hydra’s property. Prompts fulfilled; - ‘Apocalypse Cult’ – @multifandom-flash (Beehive); - ‘Tattooing Over a Scar’ – Winter Wonderland Bingo @seasonaldelightsbingo ; BLACKOUT! (with alts XD) - “Say Please.” – @fandom-free-bingo (Flight Edition); - ‘Disturbing a Grave’ – @halloweenhorrorbingo; - ‘Exposure’ – @badthingshappenbingo; - ‘Eternal Agony’ – @fnafbingo; “You Broke the Rules. And Now You Gotta Pay.” – @anyfandomdarkbingo. CW: Death of an unknown character, corpses, non-con body modification, sexual assault.

Boards at the bottom. Check it out below, or on AO3 here!

Dividers by @atlasscrumpit

By the time Zola came to see me the following day, I was already sat upright on the edge of my bed, fist curled loosely in my lap.

“Ah, up already, I see!” His tone was upbeat and jovial, but I simply raised my head to stare at him blankly, devoid of any emotion. “I expect you’re excited to get underway with your training.” A simple nod, and I stood, not bothering to point out that it was, in fact, the never-ending ache radiating from tailbone to navel that had kept me awake. “It’s going to take me a short while to make your arm. In the meantime, we have a job for you.” He handed me a chunk of bread, and I bit into it without enthusiasm, the dry wheat clinging to my tongue as I followed him through the halls.

The machine set up before me was distantly familiar, and a spike of fear shot through me at the memory of a pattern of bruises across cheekbone and forehead where the restraints had dug into my skin, holding me fast as convulsions wracked my body.

But this time the seat was occupied by another – one who looked significantly worse than I did after my time in the chair.

“What is this?” I breathed, inching closer uncertainly, taking in the slack jaw and soured complexion, heightened hearing straining for any sign of a heartbeat.

“Another failed experiment,” Zola replied dismissively, waving a hand. “Get him out. The soldiers will show you where to dispose of him.”

I fumbled with the contraption until one of the two soldiers standing guard sighed in frustration, leaning closer to press a button, the deceased man’s head falling forward with macabre reminiscence of a marionette with severed strings. Biting back fury and nausea at touching the cooling skin, I freed his limbs form their loosened shackles and draped him carefully over my shoulder.

Inanimate fingertips sent a shiver through me as they brushed my lower back, swaying with the motion of my steps as I followed my guard down the endless, twisting corridors.

He paused beside a heavy door, and we trembled in unison at the bitterly cold wind that swirled around us when he cracked it open.

“I’m not going out there,” he muttered, eyeing the flakes flowing readily through the gap and picking up a shovel to press it into my hand. “Find a spot. Dig a hole. Drop him in. Make sure you cover it over, else there’ll be wolves and bears and all sorts hanging around. I’d hate to have to find something else to feed them to draw them away,” he added pointedly. I simply nodded, skin erupting in goosebumps as he opened the door wider and pushed me out.

The snow piled into my boots with the first step, freezing my toes and soaking the thin socks I’d been provided with. I struggled on through the knee-high drifts, almost floundering under the uneven weight of my load and the lack of hands available to hold both shovel and corpse.

Perhaps a hundred yards from the facility, I came to a stop beside a rocky outcrop offering a relatively sheltered spot at which to dig. Pausing, I looked up, peering through the swirling snow. Even with my enhanced eyes, I could barely make out any details of the building – it was unlikely I could be seen by anyone attempting to watch me.

Glancing in the other direction, I gazed out over the blank emptiness, a barely-perceptible, soft haze in the distance the only indication of any break in the endless tundra – a copse of trees, perhaps, or the beginning of an attempt at civilization in this frozen wasteland?

I could run.

I might get shot before I get fifty yards, but at least I’d die out here, as a free man. Not in the endless, eternal agony of being their lab rat, their attack dog on a chain.

I took one step away from the outcrop, then another, shivering violently as the snow soaked quickly through my already damp clothes.

I could run.

I could escape this apocalyptic cult. The torture. The abuse.

I could…

My muscles faltered on the third step, then froze entirely on the fourth.

What the Hell is wrong with you? This is your chance! It doesn’t matter if you die out here! It’s better than staying here! Run!

Despite the voice screaming in my head, I couldn’t take another step, my body rigid with fear the further I strayed from my orders.

My eyes strayed to the body still resting on the ground, coated by now with a layer of thick, fluffy flakes.

I… I should bury him, at least. Nobody deserves to be left to the elements and the wildlife like that.

With a soft sigh of relief at having a clear path before me, I picked up the shovel once more, turning to assess the frozen ground obediently.

The hole was just about deep enough when I came across a sight that sent me sprawling from the grave as my stomach churned.

I was experienced enough in life – and in death – to have recognised what lay beneath the frozen ground immediately, and the off-white bone dotted with residual scraps of partially decomposed flesh was tattooed to the inside of my eyelids as I knelt in the snow, retching. My body, so accustomed by now to emptying on command, acquiesced willingly to the rhythmic gagging, the sparse contents of my stomach steaming as it met the sub-zero ground. My fingers curled desperately as I heaved, breaking through powder and frost easily.

There were others.

How many people like these two – people like me?

When my futile retching finally ceased, I dropped quickly back into the freshly dug grave with hardened nerves and a sense of purpose, kneeling carefully to ease a little more dirt away, revealing thin remnants of dark, shoulder-length hair. My eyes closed in pain, and I diverted my face as I tenderly covered the man over once more, shaking my head the distinct similarities, muttering a hushed apology to my fallen comrade for disturbing his hard-won rest.

Shaking violently from cold and horror, my hand was careful as I lifted the body I’d been sent to bury against my chest, letting his temple fall briefly to my shoulder as I knelt once more to settle him on the ground. His head rested not five inches from our predecessor, and I brushed a thumb gently over the bruising on his cheek.

“I’m so sorry this happened to you,” I whispered softly. I wished I could remember a poem, a profound quote about death to send him on his way peacefully – but the only thing that came to mind was pieces of the Lord’s Prayer, courtesy of Steve’s soft utterances unconsciously invading my mind. It didn’t feel like enough, but it was all I could offer in a stammering, faltering voice, tears staining my cheeks when I eventually stood once more.

I didn’t dare look to the horizon again until my task was complete, fresh snow quickly falling to obscure the disturbed earth.

Only then did I finally glance up once more, finding myself immediately struck once again by an intense, disabling terror as I found that hazy spot on the skyline. But this time I glanced back down, eyes skimming the last remaining signs that I’d ever been here at all.

This is what will happen if I stay here. Will anybody bother to bury me, or will I just lay under the open sky, finding flesh and bone at the mercy of the animals?

My muscles were more willing this time.

Five steps.

Ten.

Fifteen, and my pace increased – first to a lope, then a jog, and then I was sprinting, flying across the ground, malnourished body screaming in protest as I tore over the open tundra, but there was no way in hell I was slowing, not before I was sheltered by the cluster of trees at last identifiable. My feet churned up the powder as I ran, and-

I felt it before the sound registered in my mind.

My legs immediately crumbled beneath me as I yelped, thigh on fire where the bullet had torn through muscle and flesh. The aim was true, bypassing the femoral artery, but that didn’t stop blood from pumping freely onto the snow, staining the pure white with violent red in a macabre echo of the past.

Glancing back, I could see the figures swarming from the facility, moving quickly as they descended upon me as if a storm cloud. My heart pounded in terror, and I attempted to scrabble to my feet – then cried out in shocked pain, raising my hand to touch tentatively at the stinging wound at the top of my ear. Another bullet had grazed the soft skin there, barely breaking the surface – but the intent here was not harm.

No… This is a warning.

I stared at the trees standing stark against the white, finally close enough to distinguish branch from trunk, fingers curling with my grief. I knew I should stand – should force myself forward once more, choosing freedom over captivity in whatever form it came. But the survival instinct within me was a muscle well-honed over recent months, and no matter how hard I fought against myself, I couldn’t force my legs to move in much more than a tremor as I knelt in the snow. My own body simply disobeyed me, choosing longevity by any means.

I didn’t look up as I was dragged back through the snow, staggering and stumbling with a hand under my armpit to keep me going. I’d have simply laid down, but a cattle prod to the ribs made sure I moved forward, body jerking at the voltage shot through me each time I slowed.

The Lieutenant was whistling tunelessly between his teeth when I was released unceremoniously in the middle of his office, legs crumbling beneath me from cold, blood loss and exhaustion. I hardly dared raise my eyes, but he said nothing as I looked to him fearfully, his eyes still on the rifle in his hands as he wiped it down.

“You were a sniper too, once upon a time,” he noted softly, and I trembled ever more at the sound of his voice, stomach clenching in anticipation of punishment as I nodded silently. “Before Hydra, I was a sniper. And then I came here. Now I only shoot wolves, for fun. I couldn’t miss the opportunity to keep my skills sharp, you understand.” He glanced at me at last, his smile almost apologetic as he jerked his head by way of indication. “I’ll clean that up for you. Lie down.”

Moving where he directed me, I shivered with cold and fear, wincing in pain as my back pressed to frigid metal and he moved closer. My feet, wrist and throat were secured beneath heavy steel, earning me another sorry grin. “Can’t have you wriggling around too much. I might end up hitting something important! I’d so hate for you to lose your leg, too…”

I winced, eyes closing automatically as he bent over me, gulping in air at the feeling of scissors slicing through the thin, drenched fabric of my pants. He hummed under his breath as he exposed my wound, blood still flowing freely from the hole in my thigh, the gory stickiness pooling beneath me and filling the air with the scent of dirty pennies as he stepped back. The sound of his small stack of drawers containing his tools rattling as he searched through them made my skin crawl, and I jerked in surprise at a hand on my knee, lids snapping open despite myself to find him peering at the bullet wound. “A clean shot,” he murmured, gently poking at the skin around the macabre sight. “In and out. You’ll be fine – I’ll just stitch you up, and you’ll be on your way.” I nodded stiffly, mistrustful, and he shot me a broad grin. “Didn’t anybody teach you any manners? Say please.”

“Please,” I whispered immediately, flicking my gaze to the ceiling, desperately wishing I could leave my body. “Please, Sir.”

With a quiet chuckle of delight, he began, and I clenched my teeth minutely at the feel of needle passing through skin, knitting together the ragged edges of my wound in a silence punctuated only by the stomach-churning sounds of squelching and sticking produced by parts of me not normally exposed to the outside world.

It took only a matter of minutes for him to secure the site – albeit only at a surface level and in the most basic way possible, leaving my body to do most of the hard work. I blinked in surprise when he released my bindings, sitting up with a soft utterance of gratitude, uncertainty and distrust heavy as I glanced at him.

It was when I went to move to my feet that his hand found my chest, his smile turning just a little cold around the edges. “That was only the exit would, Asset. I need to stitch up the back, too. Lie down on your chest, if you would.”

I could feel my heart hammering as I obeyed weakly, the trials of the day leaving me in no position to fight. Corpses flickered before my eyes, haunting me as my body met the table once more and my already-cut pants were shredded once more, the material pooling uselessly either side of my leg. His hand was high on my thigh, skirting the underpants I’d be given. The touch was almost delicate, fingertips skimming gently under the very edge of the material. His grip tightened minutely to pull the skin taut, earning a hiss of pain that he quietly shushed away. He hummed under his breath as he slowly stitched me up, fingers brushing between my thighs to swipe away the blood.

The hand below my ass relaxed as the tugging stopped, thumb brushing tenderly over my skin. “Good. All done…”

I nodded once more, eyes focused on the long window opposite, the winter sun already beginning to set after a few short hours of daylight. My muscles twitched, ready to move, to be out of this position of vulnerability – but neither his hands nor the restraints lifted. “… Sir?” I breathed, hardly daring to speak as he continued to caress my leg.

“You broke the rules,” he purred, a smile in his voice, “and now you gotta pay.”

My eyes closed in a flinch, jaw clenched with resigned terror. I wished more than anything that I could leave my body – just come back when this was over. This punishment, this life…

But my mind stayed firmly where it was, focused on his hand on my thigh, and the touch of metal to skin. The sound of scissors closing slowly, cold air breathing over my exposed ass, set my stomach churning – a feeling that only intensified as the pointed edge pricked the skin at the base of my spine as he began to methodically remove my shirt.

His free hand trailed almost tenderly over waist, keeping pace with the first until my entire back exposed, the sleeve still wrapped around my arm offering very little comfort in my nudity.

Then he was gone, stepping away from the table seeking unknown instructions of torture. The restraint around my neck held my head fast, no matter how I wriggled and strained, offering no insight into the punishment I was about to receive.

A violent buzzing, intermittent, almost tentative, gave me pause, the pitch wavering minutely as the Lieutenant whistled tunelessly through his teeth. I distantly recognized the sound – there was a sense of faint familiarity, of something passed by on occasion, but never personally pertinent.

It wasn’t until his hand rested lightly on my back and the sharp, dragging pain began that the image of a tattoo parlour Steve and I had walked past frequently flickered behind my eyelids, sending them snapping open in shock.

A tattoo?

… Why?

I dared not ask the question aloud, settling instead into the mild discomfort of the needles between my shoulder blades; the pain was minimal compared to what I was used to, and I’d take his defacing my skin over torture any day.

After all, I was already a monster – there was nothing he could stain me with that could make it any worse.

He’d finished the work with a line that brushed against one of the puckered, tactile scars trailing away from my shoulder. The action caused searing pain to extend along fingers that no longer existed, and I clamped my jaw tighter, refusing to utter a sound at the unexpected intensity.

It was a relief when he stopped, a clammy sweat gathering beneath me at the discomfort. He ran a fingertip over the stinging skin of my back, eliciting a minute wince as he hummed contentedly. “Beautiful… Would you like to see?”

I struggled briefly, desperately trying to figure out which answer was the correct one – which would prevent further punishment. Eventually, stiffly, I nodded, and he stepped into my eyeline as his face broke into a grin. With the edge of something predatory tugging at his lips, he squatted close to my face, mint-infused breath washing over my skin, mingling with the scent of his bodywash and the odour of blood and ink.

He shouldn’t smell good, I noted abruptly, the bizarre thought taking me by surprise. He shouldn’t smell… Pleasant. Not this monster. It’s not right.

He angled a hand mirror over us, showing a quick flash of a delighted gaze and sick pleasure, before revealing the words imprinted across my shoulders.

Hail HYDRA.

Indelible, forever tarnishing my skin, marking me as one of them. As their attack dog. As their Asset.

I swallowed dryly, my stomach churning, as he chuckled softly, lips skimming over my cheek with something close to affection.

“Maybe now you won’t forget who you belong to.”

I could only nod weakly, terrified to look away before I was told to, but eventually he lowered the mirror and my eyes squeezed closed briefly.

I was wrong.

He unshackled me, but I didn’t move.

This was it.

This was the last thing.

I can’t fight anymore.

He hummed in surprise and delight, fingertips trailing over my spine. “So it seems you can learn… Good boy. Roll.”

I obeyed immediately, the metal too warm to soothe the gentle burn of my skin and slick with my sweat. He didn’t bother to resecure me, trusting in my blind obedience. Distantly, I realised that we were alone in the room; I’d never have a better opportunity than this. But I couldn’t even pretend to consider moving. I couldn’t contemplate putting myself into a position of yet another punishment for a slim chance of freedom. It isn’t worth it. He beamed at me, resting a hand gently on my chest. “Look at that! So good. Perhaps you may deserve a reward… Would you like that?”

“Yes, Sir,” I replied immediately, my voice soft and robotic. I had no idea what this ‘reward’ would be, but I didn’t have any capacity left to give anything other than the answer I thought he’d prefer. The smile softened, and his hand travelled down slowly, resting briefly on my abdomen as he leant closer.

My mind was entirely blank when he kissed me, tongue trailing gently over my lower lip, prompting my mouth to open to grant him access. It wasn’t until his teeth tugged tenderly that his fingers his fingers wrapped around my length, caressing slowly. Confusion enveloped me at his gentle touch, the way his free hand cupped my jaw to hold me closer. The combination of the firm pressure of his lips on mine and the expert ministrations on my cock sent spikes of shameful arousal through my body, colouring my cheeks as I began to react to him. “You like that, hm?” he breathed, fingers moving a little more firmly, and I offered an obedient nod.

“Yes, Sir,” I murmured, repulsed and humiliated that the statement wasn’t entirely untrue. He purred with delight at my words and my stiffening member, his hand wrapping more thoroughly around me. To my horror, I let out a soft, breathless whine, earning a soft chuckle, his hips pressing lightly against my side to demonstrate his own arousal.

“That’s it. Just relax. Do you see, Asset? When you’re bad, you will be punished. When you’re good, and obey orders… I can be merciful.”

Nausea cramped my stomach as he kissed me again, tongue brushing mine and making me tremble.

At least when he raped me it was simple.

There was no confusion in violent violation, in fighting and wishing it to be over.

But this… The way my body stirred and reacted to a touch that felt almost loving.

In another time, another situation with another man, I could very easily love this feeling of someone else’s fingers wrapped around my length, lips trailing rapturously over my throat – if not for this specific time, this specific situation with this specific man.

But I couldn’t help the way my hips twitched and my back arched, breath coming in desperate, sharp pants as I inched towards the inevitable conclusion I could feel building under my skin. He seemed to notice my increasing desperation, groaning quietly and working me harder, mouth shifting against my skin. “You’re doing so well, Asset. Almost there – let me here you.”

I whimpered through my teeth – too afraid to disobey, reluctant to follow his orders easily. But a sharp nip of his teeth on my pulse and the steadily increasing speed of his hand on me made me cry out breathlessly, hips jerking with frantic need as I came without warning.

By the time I’d finished twitching, my chest coated with my own seed, my face was burning with shame and horror, humiliation cloying in my throat.

“Such a good boy,” he crooned, kissing my cheek softly. “Hail Hydra.”

His eyes shifted to me expectantly as I hesitated, and I swallowed around the lump in my throat, lowering my gaze. “Hail Hydra,” I breathed, the ink across my shoulders burning.

[whumpacabra]

Day 2 - Alt. Prompt: Panic

Whump of a minor [13-14 years old], panic attack, anticipated violence, brief suicidal ideation, implied neglect, implied past child abuse, implied past sexual abuse, repetition

[Directly follows An Ask Too Great]

Casey couldn’t breathe - he could hardly see, his vision spotted as his heaving lungs refused to retain any oxygen they drew. He didn’t want to - he was sick, he couldn’t, he couldn’t, he didn’t want to -

The man was still here, looking down at him where he knelt with his hands on his knees. He didn’t want to he didn’t want to he was scared mom why he didn’t want to -

He flinched when the man moved, but he didn’t unlock his shaking arms, his body refusing to curl up protectively.

It was worse when he fought it. He needed to relax. Find a happy place. Happy place. Happy place.

Did he know any happy places?

He didn’t see the man sitting on the floor in front of him, cross legged and hands limp in his lap. Not until he cleared his throat, clearly seeking Casey’s attention.

His head snapped up almost involuntarily.

(It was worse when he fought it. He needed to relax. Find a happy place. Happy place. Happy place.)

“Your mom sent me here to kill you.” His baritone rumbled like thunder in the small apartment. Casey felt his iron grip on his knees relax, relieved for a moment and letting his head dip. “I’m not going to kill you.”

The respite of relief was over, his shoulders drawing to his ears and his hollow lungs wheezing. He couldn’t - he couldn’t breathe - he couldn’t, he couldn’t, he didn’t want to -

“I’m not going to touch you.”

Casey dared to raise his eyes to the man, his vision blurry with tears and hazy with stars. The man wasn’t smiling or teasing him, he wasn’t hiding a joke in the words that followed, however unbelievable they sounded.

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

For a second, Casey looked around the apartment in confusion before he realized the hacking bark of laughter had come from himself. The man was watching him, something soft in his stormy eyes. No sharp edges of glee, no ice chips of anger, just - soft.

And so, so sad.

“You’re…you’re not joking?” Casey’s voice was hoarse, words tripping on his ragged throat. Those too-soft strange eyes just watched.

“No. But,” Casey cringed, the other shoe dropping, “you can’t stay here.”

[Directly before Cain Instinct]

(Part of my Freelancers: Changing Tides series)

[set-phasers-to-whump]

adrenaline crash

prompt: adrenaline crash (alt no.10)

whumpee: illya kuryakin

fandom: the man from uncle

hi here's the second and also the last fic that i managed to write ahead of time lol. i hope you enjoy!!

“I am fine,” is the first thing that Illya says once they’re safely inside, because he just knows Cowboy is going to ask. There’s that look on his face.

“Pardon me for saying so, but you don’t exactly look it.”

He doesn’t exactly feel it either. Which he does not understand. 

He’s fine. Things had gone, as Solo had so eloquently put it, “slightly terribly wrong,” but they’d managed to escape their prison-like cell and sneak through the halls of their target’s crowded mansion, ducking out of view of various guards and party guests every five seconds. 

Once, he’d stumbled over the edge of a rug and knocked over a vase. Its shattering had been the loudest sound in the world. Illya had been certain they were about to be discovered and subsequently executed - not shot, not killed, but executed. The only word for the kind of work their target performed was execution. 

They had been sent to kill him - or, rather, Illya had been sent to kill him, while Solo (loath as he would be to admit it) had been sent along as backup. It should've been easy. 

At least the man is dead now. Illya had run into him, entirely by accident, as he and Solo had been fleeing the scene of the vase incident. They’d turned a corner, and there he was, unprepared, vulnerable. 

Illya had wasted no time in taking the shot. A single bullet to the head.

And then they’d run. 

They forewent stealth in favor of speed, tearing through the halls and shoving bewildered guests aside. They’d been shot at, once, twice, five times. No hits. 

Outside, it had been more of the same. Running into the woods behind the house, because there was no way they’d be able to get back to their car, so graciously parked for them by the now-dead man’s valet. Miles and miles of running, at first with guards chasing them down, machine-gun fire echoing through the dark trees, then in silence, in horrible anticipation. 

And then - nothing. A road. A long walk, moving on autopilot, hyperaware of every little noise, every little movement. Guns drawn. 

And now the safehouse. A dingy apartment in a sea of identical dingy apartments. A dilapidated couch. A radiator that makes a horrific sound when it turns on. A shower not large enough for Illya to stand up in. A bed no larger than the couch. But it’s anonymous and safe. 

He’s fine, see? Except his heart rate is returning to normal but his brain is still looking for danger and he can feel that he isn’t breathing quite normally and also his hands are trembling but not like he’s used to and he’s tired and also kind of dizzy and he doesn’t know why. 

“I think - I need to sit down,” he half-mumbles. He sinks down heavily onto the couch, which creaks ominously. He leans forward slightly and rests his chin on his unsteady hands, elbows braced against knees. 

Solo sits down next to him. Close. (Not that there’s much choice in the matter, the couch being the size that it is). Illya hears him take a breath, deep and steady. He wishes he was breathing like that. 

Solo puts a hand on his back. The contact is like an electric shock, unexpected and startling. 

Unlike an electric shock, it is not unpleasant. Quite the opposite. He focuses on it, tries to focus only on it. 

“Just breathe,” Solo says, and yes, that is what he’s doing, thank you for stating the obvious. 

“I am.”

“Slower. Like this.”

Solo shifts closer, until their sides are pressed together. Illya feels him take a breath this time.

“Match me.”

He tries. It takes a while, but eventually he manages it. His hands are still shaky, though. He’s no longer so dizzy, but still lightheaded. 

“What is happening to me?” he mutters, not really intending for Solo to hear, and certainly not intending to receive a reply. 

“Adrenaline,” Solo says. 

He makes a sort of confused noise, both at the answer itself and at the fact that Solo had provided it at all. 

“When it leaves your system,” Solo explains. “It can make you shaky, disoriented. It just happens sometimes.”

Illya shakes his head. “Not to me.”

Solo’s hand is still on his back. “Even to you. Even to me.”

He doesn’t believe that. 

“It’s true, I swear. Remember Vienna?”

Does he ever. 

“I said I was going to meet that girl from the cafe? After the mission? I…may have stretched the truth on that. I felt like I could barely walk. I didn’t even make it out the front door. I picked the lock on an empty room on the second floor of the hotel and laid face down on the floor for a good two hours.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. Happens to the best of us.”

“Okay, Cowboy. Just don’t try to make me lay down on the floor.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

thank you for reading! hope you enjoyed :)

[casualjacobwrites]

FFXIV Write 2023 Prompt #5 - Barbarous

OK, so, not many people know this, but I have a lot of alts. A lot. I'm almost at max capacity on my main server (Brynhildr). Ahem, anyway, this one is my non-WoL OC Garaile Folant.

Bare bones basic backstory: as a child he was a student of the Conjurer's Guild, but he joined his soul with a voidsent after a violent bandit attack so that he could both live and avenge his family. Upon learning what he'd done and what he'd become, Brother E-Sumi-Yan banished him from the guild and The Shroud. Garaile ends up in Ul'dah and uses his new powers to basically become a small crime boss (over years). Essentially he is both a White Mage and a Reaper (with a bit of nuance to the idea of what a Reaper is). There's more to it, but that's the gist.

Anyway, here's a scene where Garaile comes back to The Shroud for an important reason that requires he speaks to E-Sumi-Yan. Emotional conversation ensues. Word Count: 1790

---

Garaile waited under the Guardian Tree for E-Sumi-Yan. He'd sent no invitation nor had he told a soul where to find him, but he knew as soon as his feet crossed the threshold into The Shroud the forest itself would alert the Hearers.

“It's not enough you ignore my edict to stay away from Gridania, now you profane our most sacred tree with your presence?” E-Sumi-Yan's small figure appeared at the edge of the shadows cast by the tree's boughs.

“What choice did I have after you so rudely ignored my many requests for an audience?” Though he carried a staff on his back, Garaile held up his hands in a gesture of peace. He doubted E-Sumi-Yan would resort to violence, but he knew well enough that the conjurer was held in high esteem by the Shroud's elementals. If they thought he might threaten the eldest Padjal, Garaile could easily find himself dead. Of course, he also knew The Shroud still favored him, too. Not that he'd ever get the conjurers or E-Sumi-Yan to admit it.

E-Sumi-Yan tucked his hands behind his back and took a brazen step closer to Garaile. “You have my attention, but I suggest you choose your words with care. The Guardian Tree does not tolerate fools.”

Garaile glanced over his shoulder at the massive trunk of the ancient tree. When he turned his attention back to E-Sumi-Yan, he wore a mocking grin. “Careful what you speak, Brother. As old as you are, you're not immune to mistakes.” His grin widened when he noted the way the smaller man's jaw clenched. It was nice to know he could still get under the guildmaster's skin. Despite this, he couldn't revel in his joy for too long. He did have a legitimate reason to trouble E-Sumi-Yan and it would be better not to test his patience.

Clearing his throat he dropped his hands. “There's a child that's come into my care in Ul'dah.”

E-Sumi-Yan barely contained his derisive snort. “What, was it too sickly for your demon to consume?”

Now the muscles in Garaile's jaw twitched. He bit back a retort and continued with his story. “She's orphaned.”

“A common theme in Ul'dah or so I hear. Why tell me about her?”

“She's gifted. Like I was.” For the first time since the conversation started, Garaile couldn't bring himself to meet E-Sumi-Yan's eyes. “She heard the elementals calling her.”

E-Sumi-Yan went still. A breeze pushed through the two of them. It could have been coincidence, but Garaile didn't think so. The Padjal cocked his head slightly as if to hear better. “You mean when you brought her to The Shroud she heard them?”

Garaile shook his head. “No. She heard them from Ul'dah. It was only for a moment, but I believe if you allow her here, she will be welcomed.”

The guildmaster considered him for a moment, turned to his side and began to walk a slow circle around Garaile. “And how do you know she heard them?”

He wanted to say, “Because I heard them too,” but the words died on his lips before he could voice them. No matter what evidence he could give, the elder would never believe him. Garaile was too tainted, too infused with darkness. Instead he opted for a different tactic. “I know what it's like when a conjurer hears them. You can see it in their eyes.”

E-Sumi-Yan nodded as though he bought the lie. “And what were you doing when it happened?”

Garaile hesitated. Here was the tricky part. If he admitted he had healed her with his magic, E-Sumi-Yan might deny little Kaia admittance to the guild by claiming she was tainted. Getting her into Gridania was paramount, he knew that deep down in his bones. Not to mention that Briar and the others would never forgive him if he screwed the girl's chance at a far better life. “We were talking about her parents and about her dreams. Since she lost them, she's felt a pull, but she didn't understand it.”

It was the truth, though not the entire truth. He'd felt the elementals connect to her through his magic. While he might be a pariah to guild, he could still feel his connection to The Shroud itself. In his heart, it was still his home.

E-Sumi-Yan stared at him for what seemed like ages. It became so quiet Garaile could hear the leaves rustling overhead and the gentle babble of a nearby brook. “Bring her to Nophica's Altar,” he said at long last. Reaching into his robes he produced a small square of parchment and offered it to Garaile.

Upon reading the neatly lettered script, annoyance rose within. It was a permission slip to show the guards so he could enter into Nophica's Altar. Everything was filled out with his name and dates. He spun round to the guildmaster. “You already knew?”

With a smirk, E-Sumi-Yan pointed upward at the canopy. “Maybe you aren't as deaf as I thought, but I've been listening for centuries. I've known you were skirting the edges of The Shroud for a week now.”

“Then why didn't you grant me an audience?”

The Padjal shrugged. “I wanted to see what you'd do to get my attention. I also wanted to see how the elementals would react to your presence.”

“And?”

“I'm...intrigued,” he admitted. “You're not perceived as a threat and yet I can still feel the darkness inside you. I see the void behind your eyes and see it in your soul.” He shook his head. “Bring the girl, but soon as I test her, you'll have to leave her behind.” With that he began to walk back towards Gridania.

For a moment Garaile remained quiet, but he couldn't completely keep decades worth of anger at bay. “I was a child!”

E-Sumi-Yan stopped and turned his head to the side. “I know.”

“What was I supposed to do?” Emotion swelled inside his chest and his hands clenched into fists. “I was scared and alone!” The Padjal's head dropped. He didn't move when Garaile stepped towards him. “No one came to my aide. The elementals...they didn't respond to me. I was dying.”

“I know,” E-Sumi-Yan repeated in a much quieter voice. “Death is part of life. To them, it was part of the natural order.”

“Natural order? My parents were slaughtered and I was nearly disemboweled. What is natural about that?”

“You could have said no.”

“And I would have died!”

At last E-Sumi-Yan turned to face him, his eyes burning with righteous anger. “So? Better dead than becoming the abomination you are.” He pointed his finger at Garaile's chest. “You had so much promise. This forest loved you as its own son and would have mourned your death. You speak of slaughter and wonder why you were given no mercy? Yet what did you do to the men who killed your parents? What do you call that barbarous act? What of the countless souls you've let that monster devour since?” He rose to the balls of his feet to make himself taller in order to get closer to Garaile's face.

“The truth is perhaps the elementals left you to die because they knew you'd answer that voidsent's call. They knew that no matter your promise or your power, you were too selfish to accept their judgment.” He paused and appeared to collect himself. Taking a step back and a breath, he said, “I mourn the loss of the child I knew. I've watched so many innocents die far too soon without rhyme or reason. It's impossible for mortals like us to truly understand why. As conjurers and hearers, we shouldn't question the designs of the elementals. It's by their grace we are allowed to live and thrive under their boughs. If we start to deny them, we will perish. You are not any more important than any other who suffered at the hands of others. I had no choice but to send you away.”

Garaile's eyes burned with unshed tears. The rage had given way to grief, both for E-Sumi-Yan's words and for the life he'd once had. “I won't argue that what I did was right. I was so young and death too frightening to comprehend. When help was offered, I didn't question it. Despite what you believe, I do understand why you rebuked me.” His voice caught as he gazed skyward. “As much as I wish it weren't so, I can't stay here. The elementals may still respond to me, but I'm not foolish enough to believe that means they accept me as they once did.” He barked a mirthless laugh.

“I know you want to hear me say I regret my choice, and I'm sorry that I can't say I do. You've had spies watch me and you've heard the stories about me from Ul'dah. I won't lie and tell you that I'm not every bit the monster you fear I am.”

“No,” E-Sumi-Yan interrupted. “You're not. The fact you can stand under this tree is proof of that, never mind that you risked mine and the Shroud's wrath to come her for the sake of another.”

Garaile blinked, a little surprised to hear his former teacher condone him rather than condemn. “She deserves a chance.”

“So did you,” the Padjal said. “I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you. You had a choice, yes, but it was a choice you shouldn't have had to make.”

For several heartbeats, Garaile wasn't sure how to respond. Over the course of several decades the two of them had shared an antagonistic relationship and now it felt awkward that both of them had admitted their mistakes. He cleared his throat. “I, uh, thank you for that.”

“I won't ever say it again,” he replied with a wry smile. “Make sure to tell Madelle the girl's measurements so we can find her a proper robe.” He turned to leave again only to stop. “And before you arrive, take her to find her first cane. I'm sure you'll be able to guide her.”

Once again rendered speechless, Garaile could only stare as E-Sumi-Yan disappeared into The Shroud. A strong breeze pushed through the trees carrying with it a faint whisper.

We remember you, child.

It was so brief he wondered if he'd truly heard it. Ultimately he decided he was better off not questioning it. He had to get back to Kaia and take her to find her first cane, the one she'd use after being accepted into the guild just as he had done many years prior.

“May she never have to make the choice I did,” Garaile said to the empty air. He hoped the elementals heard his plea this time.

[mypoisonedvine]

I’m not sure if you got my ask or not, but I also know I sent it in during a time when you weren’t checking in often, so I’ll send it again for the sleepover if I’m not being too annoying. 💕

Alt!Bucky, and I’m talking the full package lmao. Colorless tats, black nails, rings, chains, piercings definitely including his nipples but you didn’t hear that from me. It just sounds so hot to me, I-

I don’t even care what you write for him, I just want this man to destroy meeeee🤤🥺

hhh yes pls, put those painted nails inside me c:  I’ll go ahead and include the edit that I request from @nix-akimbo since it fits the vibe pretty well.  smut below the cut!!

You’d seen him at the club before, it was hard not to see him when he was so... noticeable.  And he seemed like he knew it too, since he caught you staring and gave you a look with a raised eyebrow and wandering eye.

Apparently, that was all it took, since he had you pressed up against the wall in an empty hallway, the bass from the band on the other side of the wall thumping against your ears as he sucked his mark on your neck and slipped his jewelry-decorated hand down into your jeans.

And you didn’t even know his name.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, biting your lip to stay as quiet as possible as he roughly shoved two fingers into you, his thumb rubbing your clit the whole way.  He heard your stifled moan and pulled back to look at your face.

“Don’t bite your lip, baby, bite mine instead,” he offered as he kissed you suddenly, sliding his tongue over yours and fuck, you could feel that he was pierced there too.  You were already imagining how that smooth titanium ball would feel on your clit and you sure as hell were biting down on his lip like he encouraged.  In spite of it he smiled slightly, curling his fingers harder until your hand shot back to slam against the wall.  

Fuck, he was good, he was so fucking good and worst of all he knew it and was happy to lord it over you, giving you everything you needed and doing it effortlessly.

The kiss deepened around the same time he started to thrust his fingers into you rough and fast; even with the loud music so close by you could hear the wet sounds of it, the undeniable proof of how desperate you were for him and how close you were to the edge.

As your moans got louder, you could hear him groaning just a bit too, and that deep voice alone had you seeing stars.  He pressed his body up against yours and either he was hard as a rock or somebody was pressing a hot soda can against your thigh, goddamn his cock was so thick... would you even be able to take him?  Any less turned on and it would’ve intimidated you, but you were so desperate now he could basically do anything he wanted with you.

He probably knew that.

He didn’t even ask if you were gonna come because he didn’t need to, your moans were nearly screams now as they were lost to his dominating kiss, and your body was practically convulsing as were your walls around his fingers.

You had to reach down and push his hand away by the wrist to make him stop, you were sure your body couldn’t take much more even if part of you wanted it to never end.

The kiss ended, too, but he didn’t stray far as he panted against your cheek.

“My car’s out back, if you wanna--” he began hoarsely, but you were already nodding and kissing him again.

Turns out, the end of that sentence was supposed to be “if you wanna come to my place.”  You weren’t willing to wait that long... you were already riding him in the backseat the second he locked the doors.

[unwanted-animal]

Matt/Frank : T E E T H

Explicit. M/M.

Tags/CW: Teeth, Mouth Likely, Consensual Torture, Blood, Tooth Trauma, Dark, Romance, Don/sub, Rutting, Coming In Pants, Bloody Kisses, Please Do Not Let Matt Murdock Perform Oral Surgery On You

My gifts for @lovetincture for this year’s @daredevilexchange :D The prompt I chose to roll with was “Romantic Teeth Trauma”, and it lit a spark inside me! Which is why my gift is two moodboards, a playlist, AND a fic lol

AO3 for the playlist and Alt Text (will be live when the collection opens!)

“Are you sure about this, Frank?”

Matt crouched in front of the chair, head tilted to the side as he listened for any changes in Frank. His breathing. His heart rate. His tone. If there was any sign he wasn’t confident about his request, Matt planned to stop. Frank liked pain, sure, but this? This was beyond normal pain.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure, Red. Only you. Anyone else I wouldn’t think about it, but you? You get me. I, I trust you. Y’know?”

“And you want no anesthesia?”

“None.”

No change. Even breathing. Steady heart rate. Frank was out of his goddamn mind, letting a blind man cut out one of his teeth. The thought brought a smile to Matt’s lips. Frank was mad, but that madness, that dedication to seeing things through, that only endeared him to him. He patted Frank’s leg gently and stood up.

“Okay. Can you reach the tools, push them toward me? Please?”

The rattle of metal filled his senses, making the room feel full and featureless. Matt groaned and shook his head to clear the cloud stifling his ‘sight’. Once the tray stopped, his access to the space returned. Deep shades of red, sparked by changes in the environment, that let him see - in a sense.

His world on fire.

Frank burned brightly in his special sense. Rugged, body made of valleys and hills and broken roads, sound made him shine. And Frank? Frank shone the loudest when he screamed.

Matt placed one hand on the handle of the cart. The other hovered over the tools.

“Scalpel,” he said softly.

“Four inches to your left. Blade facing away from you.”

He followed Frank’s instructions and lifted the surgical knife from the cloth. It was cool in his grasp, the handle weighted and the blade light and sharp enough to cut through muscle and tendon. Matt let out a slow breath. His hands were steady — no tremor. No fear.

Just a blind man performing intimate oral surgery.

“Once I’m in your mouth you won’t be able to instruct me, so if there’s anything you need to say to me, Frank? Now’s the time.”

Something about Frank’s gaze, Matt could always feel . He stared at him now , and from the way his pulse quickened he knew it was affectionate. Tender. He’d seen that look once, when the sirens lit the graveyard after the Irish. That hangdog, loving look in Frank’s sad eyes turned to him now, and he was certain there was a hint of madness to it. Of thrill. Frank wanted this. Hell, it’d been his idea.

“Yeah. Yeah, I got somethin’. Yeah. Matt?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t fuck it up,” Frank teased. “I love you.”

Matt smirked.

“I know. Open up for me.”

Frank opened his mouth, as wide as he could. His wrists tugged against the handcuffs holding them to the legs of the chair, the rattle reassuring. Frank wouldn’t get out if the pain was too great, which meant Matt wouldn’t wind up with a fist in his face when he dug into the root. It was a precaution, sure, but he had to admit he liked Frank tied up.

At his mercy .

Matt slipped two fingers inside his waiting mouth and slid them along his tongue. Frank shuddered, gagging slightly as he pressed down. Drool pooled around his hand and ran down, down the curve of his chin, spattering on his bare chest. Matt felt the wetness and smiled down at Frank.

“I bet you can do better than that.”

He lifted the scalpel and guided his fingers up. Picking a molar was the hard part. Humming, Matt tapped between three of them, whispering that familiar mantra.

“One batch. Two batch. Penny and dime — Ah. This one.”

The back molar. One Frank wouldn’t even know was missing.

“Here we go, Frank.”

All he got was a huff of a growl in response.

Matt pressed the blade into the soft meat of Frank’s gum. Blood welled from the wound, mixing with the drool, and Matt wished he could see it. The ecstatic look of agony carved into Frank’s Roman features, the mess he made, the wild rush burning in his eyes… He cut again. Again. Tracing the tooth. Beneath him, Frank snarled and roared.

“That’s right. Like that. Make noise, nobody will hear you here. Nobody but me.”

His noise made it easier for Matt to see what he was doing. Vibrations traveled through his mouth, and the loose skin he sliced through swayed from side to side. Soon he had most of the tooth exposed, the gums cut and peeled back with careful - if amateur - care. Frank pulled against the cuffs and rocked the chair as his fingers touched the wound, but Matt didn’t stop.

Frank had had plenty of time to revoke consent before. He didn’t. His fingers weren’t tapping out his safeword on the wood. Frank loved being out of control, submitting to Matt in such a deep, intimate way. Pain, even the extreme kind, wasn’t foreign to their relationship nor their sex.

This, this was dedication. A declaration. One far more beautiful than any other words or gestures could be.

Matt used Frank’s moans to find the forceps. He traded out his scalpel for the pointed steel, clicking them together a few times as Frank simply sat there shaking. His lips trembled, but he kept his mouth open to the cool air.

A good dog. Loyal. Obedient.

He guided the new tool inside, easily finding his way back. The blood dripping on his knuckles couldn’t be missed. Matt’s forceps closed around the tooth and he began to pry. Grunting, he pumped his arm, moving the bone in its tight little socket. Frank roared in pain, hips coming up and rubbing against Matt’s thigh.

He was hard, hard enough that the brief touch sent a shiver down Frank’s spine. Matt grinned, his dimples deep as he pressed his thigh back in response.

“Rut. Like a dog. I wouldn’t want to leave you all worked up, not when you’re behaving for me. Go on. Consider it a reward. A treat, Frank.”

Frank didn’t hesitate. He started thrusting against Matt, breathing hard through his nose as his cock strained against his jeans. A low moan vibrated in his throat as Matt yanked again, pulling, fighting to get the tooth free of his jaw. Frank screamed around his hands, tears flowing down his cheeks, and Matt’s world burst with vivid red color. He could see Frank. See the blood. See the wide-eyed and hungry stare Frank fixed on him. He was a beacon at the center of Matt’s world, pulsing with every shuddering sob.

“Beautiful,” he said, voice low and soft. “You make the world so beautiful .”

A loud crack split the air. Another. Another, as Matt leveraged his strength to force it out. With one last tug it snapped free of Frank’s jaw, clutched firmly in the forceps. Frank slammed his hips forward as he came, eyes rolling back in his head as that final surge of pain pushed him over the edge. Matt stumbled backward and held the tooth up triumphantly. His prize. His token.

While Frank’s sounds grew quiet, Matt’s vision faded back to darkness. He couldn’t see the sloppy smile on Frank’s face as he drooled blood onto his bare chest.

“… That,” Frank slurred, barely able to move his jaw. His words were mumbled, accompanied by dribbling blood. “Is yours. Yeah. Gonna take it to, to, to your guy. Drill a hole, get a chain. Wear it. Always.”

Matt released the tooth into his hand and ran his bloody thumb over the bone.

Frank’s bone.

A piece of him, to keep forever.

“… I love you, Frank. You know that?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. I, I love you too.”

He slipped the tooth into his pocket and lowered himself down on Frank’s filthy lap. His hands were just as messy, bloodied up almost to the elbow from Frank’s coughing and screaming. He slid one through Frank’s curls and tugged him into a rough, heated kiss. Blood filled his mouth, and Matt let it. He savored the taste of Frank. It was no different from kissing him with a split lip.

Except this time he could swallow the mess.

[imadhatt3r]

CYBERPUNK 2077 AS POLISH HEADLINES, PART 3

PART I HERE, PART II HERE

Yorinobu after accidentally crushing Takemura in “Search and Destroy”

“Man threw an axe and accidentally hit a car driving by. He didn’t mean to, he was aiming at his sister.”

Brendan

“The boys from AGH (polish university) build a vodka-pouring robot. Great success!”

River

The police have stopped their car to save a pigeon. The bird was ran over, but...”

Takemura

“Fox has stolen a cellphone and sent a mysterious text message.”

Nibbles

“Can the paranormal cat from the Świnouiście cementary see the dead?”

Johnny

“Man doesn’t have a hand. They’ve convicted him, because he was clapping at a protest.”

Panam, V and Mitch in “Queen of the Highway”

“A couple from Łódź was having sex in a car. They’ve heard a knock on the door - they saw a horse.”

Nomad V

“Ukrainian man has crossed the green border by walking backwards. He wanted to confuse the border patrol.”

Streetkid V

“Man came to the police station to see if they were looking for him. They were.”

Corpo V

“Spain: an official pretended for ten years that he was working.”

Johnny

“HOT TIPS: what to do to be lied to rest in the coffin in one piece?”

Kerry

“Are you still having sex, or are you just hitting someone in the face?”

Jefferson Peralez 

“The world doesn’t exist, and sociology is a nightmare.”

Johnny + V

“How do you befriend a dead person?”

Misty when she pulled out “The Magician” during the pre-heist tarot reading 

“Fortune teller has sensed Chajzer’s (media personality) butthurt.”

Panam

“The 12-year old that went missing in Warszawa was found. The police have found him in a bus in Ursynów. He told them that he wanted to have a taste of freedom.”

Rogue + Johnny

“During the wedding, instead of vows, the bride read the messages her groom send to his lover.”

Saburo + Johnny

“The pope has beaten Justin Bieber.”

Delamain

“I was convinced that thinking makes me happy”

Johnny

“Man without a hand was running around the neighbourhood with a bleeding wound! Local inhabitants were looking for the hand.”

Claire

“Russia: more and more extreme sports fans on the edge of common sense.”

Relic Malfunction

“TOMORROW: XDFSAFGSD SDFGSDF SDFGSD SDFGSD SDFGSDFSG SDFGSDFGSDG”

Johnny + V in “Holdin’ On”

“They’ve entered a stranger’s house. They’ve told him they’re going to drink vodka.”

Rogue + Alt in “The Sun” ending

“Women have blocked Poznań. The city center is paralized, tram drivers are clapping, gay people are dancing poloneise.”

Johnny + V in “Playing for time”

“We’re fucked”

[writer-akihiko]

Hi!! I know this story is finished and old already but is it ok if you make a ending where the reader ends up with Nobunaga? I kinda want angst in it.. That would be all TY and have a great day. (The story that I'm talking about is "All For Her")

All For Her - Kennyo X Reader X Yandere!Nobunaga [ALT]

PART 1, ACTUAL ENDING

I think I got carried away, but I basically got a wheel to choose some events of this story. This is my personal characterisation of Nobunaga from IkeSen as a Yandere. Actual Nobunaga would not do this; this is my take on how Nobunaga acts as a Yandere.

Warnings: Tragedy, Character Death, Yandere Content and Emotional Manipulation

"You defiled her!" Kennyo roared, unsheathing his staff. He blocked the rampant parries of the Devil King. "And you think that's love."

"Of course," Nobunaga said smugly, dodging Kennyo's swing. "This war…

It's all for her."

~○~

"This will be the last time you hold her, Kennyo."

He roared, howling at the pain of the sword. Kennyo fell to the ground, the stab to his shoulder numbing all of his senses as the blade cuts deep into his flesh.

"Perhaps YN would cast you away if I scar your face once again… Oh… How adorable she'd look to you in horror with the new scars I give you," Nobunaga teased, his menacing tone only edging his sword. "Or, I should kill you right here, and your head should be my bride's present…"

"KENNYO!"

You had come out to the battlefield since more of the injured soldiers could barely make it to the base. Despite of the fact of being on opposite sides, you still treated some of the Oda's soldiers that couldn't reach their own healers. Those with you moved their troops away as you ran to your lover.

Nobunaga pressed the blade further into Kennyo's neck, taunting you to come closer. You kept your distance, but you were horrified at Nobunaga's antics, as his words froze you on the spot. Your body and mind shut down at the thought of Kennyo being harmed. Your blood went cold, and before you knew it you had thrown yourself on top of Kennyo, protecting him from Nobunaga's swinging sword.

"How endearing," Nobunaga smiled at you, his gaze suddenly soft at seeing you. "It's been quite long, my fireball. I knew you'd come running to me."

All the strength left your body as Nobunaga ripped you away from your lover. Your will never left you, but your fear overcame it to the point you couldn't fight against the crazed man that desired you.

The Oda, as usual were efficient in wrapping up the war. Kennyo was arrested and it was claimed as a win for the Oda. The soldiers retreated and Ieyasu cared for the wounded. You'd usually see Hideyoshi and Masamune with grins on their faces, but Hideyoshi was practically expressionless and Masamune's eye only held rage but you weren't sure who it was directed to.

The Oda celebrated their grand victory with a banquet, and the Demon King kept you by his side, pampered and decorated for his eyes only. He kept you in his lap, as your being shifted to the automatic machine it used to be, pouring sake for your obsessed captor.

What sickened you to the stomach was how he announced the banquet.

"With the capture of Kennyo, I sentence him to continuous torture!"

Oh how you wanted to throw up at whoever cheered Nobunaga on...

Eventually, once Nobunaga had gotten drunk, Hideyoshi and Masamune flanked each side of Nobunaga, as Mitsuhide and Mitsunari guarded you. You made no effort to make conversation with the other warlords, for you feared what they might spill to Nobunaga, with the exception of Mitsuhide.

With how everyone was acting, you could only assume Mitsuhide messed with the sake as he was so bold to engage in conversation with you. "Princess, you must be prepared tomorrow."

"Is there something that I missed when I return?"

His voice lowered to a hush, as he explained his intentions. "Nobunaga will find my involvement with your escape. He'd execute me, but it will give you a chance to freedom."

You almost lost your stiff conduct, a drop of sake spilling onto your kimono. Yes, it was true that Mitsuhide was involved in convincing Nobunaga to let you roam to where you were taken by Kennyo, but even by then you weren't sure of his intentions. "Mitsuhide… Why?"

His hushed voiced tickled your ear as he revealed his one intention to you.

"For the woman I love. Even if I don't have your heart, I want you to bask in freedom."

~○~

The next morning's war council came, and there and then, another lower vassal accused Mitsuhide as the traitor that led their beloved Princess to Kennyo's army. The war council this time took a casual turn, as Nobunaga deemed it fit for the ladies of the court to witness the accusation from your balcony. Behind your veil, you shed a tear, sending a venomous gaze to Nobunaga.

You excused yourself from your maids, making your way out of your personal bedroom. Mitsunari should be waiting for you, as he authorised all the guards to be positioned else where. From your knowledge, Ieyasu, Masamune and Hideyoshi were in on Mitsuhide's plan too. Masamune and Ieyasu were to take charge of Kennyo's 'daily torture', while Hiedyoshi was to cause a scene by his natural rage at Mitsuhide betraying his Lord Nobunaga.

Nobunaga raised his fan, quelling the arguments amongst his vassals. "Ah… but wait, Akechi Mitsuhide isn't the only traitor amongst the Oda."

"W-What do you mean Lord Nobunaga?" Hideyoshi, who delivered slightly fake punches to Mitsuhide in his 'anger', stopped as he questioned Nobunaga. "Mitsuhide is always one to do things on his own!"

You raced through every corridor near the tenshu, trying to find Mitsunari in the hallways. Anywhere. Where could he be? Did he get-

The roars of shock from the Oda vassals rang as two guards brought none other that Ishida Mitsunari to the podium of Nobunaga, clearly bruised and beaten.

"A report from the guards came about suspicions of your vassal here to change the guards around the palace," Nobunaga said, as he ordered the guards to drop Mitsunari. "How could I not assume he was acting under your orders, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, you monkey?"

Mitsuhide and Hideyoshi were both apprehended at the hands of their own friends. They were brought to their knees in front of their long time lord, as their heads were pushed down to hang in shame.

"To honour your execution, since you both are great friends," He announced, drawing his pistol from his kimono. "I shall have you both shoot each other until your bodies fall. I'll allow your families to bury your bodies and your next brothers shall carry on your clan's lines."

"Any last words?"

Hideyoshi walked up to his lord he once respected, snatching the gun into his hand. "I thank you for letting me die by the hands of an honorable warlord unlike yourself."

Nobunaga did not hold back his anger as he struck Hideyoshi across the face with his iron-ribbed fan.

"I wouldn't have done this if you returned to the Lord Nobunaga I used to serve," Hideyoshi retorted, taking his stance with the gun pointed at Mitsuhide.

Mitsuhide had nothing to say to Nobunaga, except the silent nod to receive his gun. He raised it to Hideyoshi, saying his last to an old friend.

"Sorry for being a good shot."

"Don't be."

BANG!

You couldn't hold back your tears for Hideyoshi and Mitsuhide. You sobbed into your kimono, your mind being invaded by negative thoughts of your doings being the cause of their deaths. You didn't want this. You didn't want this. If only you had-

"The other two traitors are here!"

The crowd shifted as Ieyasu and Masamune made their way through the crowd, having heard the gunshots. From what you could discern, they were brought there by the jail guards by the orders of Nobunaga's messengers.

"This audience has had enough execution for the day," Nobunaga decided, looking over the three captured warlords under his hand. "However, I might as well give out the sentences now."

Ieyasu and Masamune were not bounded to any guards, but it was clear that they had long accepted their deaths. You wanted at least one of them to abandon you, to give you a sign that you weren't worth the trouble but none of them did. Those three stood their ground, as they face the Devil King himself.

"Ishida Mitsunari, under influence of Toyotomi Hideyoshi shall have a beheading for all to see," He commanded. The scribes were rapid to jot everything down, their parchment wet from the ink and not from the blood seeping into the paper. "Tokugawa Ieyasu and Date Masamune, for assisting the traitors, from this moment our alliance in dissolved. The Oda shall act on their own without your help."

"You shall be sent away. Unfortunately my authority does not reach you."

Masamune scoffed, "I wouldn't want to serve such a stupid warlord anyway."

Nobunaga shrugged it off. "May I meet you two on the battlefield, where I shall have your heads."

"May we have our revenge," Ieyasu said, walking away from the crowd, Masamune behind him.

~○~

Months had passed. Months of staying in this empty shell of yours, made to serve only Nobunaga. Before the last of his days, Mitsunari had requested to play Go with you. You apologised immensely for causing such tragedy, but Mitsunari welcomed you wholesomely. There was no hard feelings as his execution neared, and he advised you to not attend or witness it. You shed tears for Mitsunari, the handkerchief used to catch your tears delivered to Mitsunari's grave.

The day Nobunaga returned from his umpteenth war was as normal as any other day to you. You were sewing mindlessly, as you had no will to greet Nobunaga. He understood that, instead barging into your shared bedroom with familiar cloths around his arm.

He grinned as he noticed you recognise the band of cloth around his arm. "Ah, a parting gift from Ieyasu and Masamune before I took their heads. They consented to it as well, but you're not allowed to bring it around-"

"I hate you. I hate you, I HATE YOU!" You screamed into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

"I don’t mind firecracker," He said, his grip starting to feel painful at your wrist. "You see, I didn't care if those five were traitors or not. It was my luck that they fit into the narrative."

He continued, soothing your cries. "I was only getting rid of anyone who held your attention. I was drunk at that banquet but I still loathed how they befriended you so easily… I did it for you…

It's all for you."

[pullakori]

Febuwhump

Day 21: “Help them” Alt 9: Friendly fire (Sequel to day 7)

Hank still didn’t believe his luck. After they had left the CIA behind, he had been anxious about how well he could keep on with his experiments. He had managed with little before back home, but returning to the bare bones of a lab equipment didn’t make him feel too excited. He hadn’t had any idea how wrong he was. Not only did Professor Xavier’s mansion have a lab, but it was also very spacious and fully equipped. It was a bit dusty, but Hank didn’t mind cleaning, especially when Raven was helping him. Apparently the lab had belonged to the professor’s father and there were still signs of the last owner there, files filled with data and boxes of strange equipment that Hank didn’t recognise.

“I loved coming here as a child, there was always something new and exciting to be found.” Raven spoke with glee from where she was looking through some of the cardboard boxes. “I bet professor liked it too.” Hank guessed, the man was still a curious nature today after all, but Raven barked a laugh at that. “Nope, Charles has always been scared of the basement. I had to explore alone in here, but we would spend a lot of time together in the attic.” She sniggered before something caught her eye. “Ooh! Look at this!” She exclaimed and carried a box shaped device to the table Hank was sitting in. “It looks like a radio.” Hank mused but as he investigated the device, it became clear that it was some kind of another transmitter. “These units are strange to me…” They were around the rotating button, increasing clockwise. “Maybe there’s more information in one of the files.” He speculated and for a while, he and Raven went through the files, leafing through them.

“Nothing. Again.” Raven groaned and dropped the file from her hands carelessly on the table. “I vote that we should just turn it on and see what happens.” “You have to understand why that is a terrible idea.” Hank said, raising his eyebrows and making her scoff. “Urgh, you sound like Charles. C’mon Hank, you need to learn how to live on the edge, otherwise your life will bore you to death.” Her eyes were sparkling and Hank could feel his resolve wear off, the want to impress her growing bigger than his doubts. “Alright.” He sighed, but the brilliant smile that Raven sent his way made him almost completely forget how bad of an idea this was.

A part of him wished that the device would be broken, but with a flick of a switch it came alive with a quiet buzzing sound, the light behind the glass making the units easier to read. For a second Hank was afraid that it would blow up, but it didn’t happen. Nothing seemed to happen at all. “I didn’t know what I was expecting, but this seems anticlimactic.” Raven spoke up and Hank’s curiosity lifted its head fully. “Maybe it’s broken?” He suggested and moved his hand to the rotating button, turning the power carefully higher. The buzzing became slightly louder, but otherwise, nothing happened. He turned the button more and faster, until it was as far as it could go. “No use. I think we need to find the file, if there even is one.” Hank admitted the defeat and after moving the power down, turned the device completely off. Raven let out a disappointed whine, but Hank just shook his head at her with affection. “Just be happy that we didn’t blow up or something.” “Yeah, but maybe I can find something more exciting while you go through the files.” Raven smirked, going back to the boxes, flicking her blond hair over her shoulder, the action distracting Hank badly.

He was brought back to the surface when a shout echoed through the basement corridor. “HANK!” It was Erik’s voice, and at first it made the boy’s blood run cold with fear, the man was scary as hell in normal basis, he didn’t want to be near him when he was angry. But he quickly realised that it wasn’t quite anger in the man’s voice, it was urgency. He shared a perplexed look with Raven, before they both hurried out of the lab to the corridor, where Erik was running towards them with pale and unconscious Charles in his arms.

It had to be a coincidence. Otherwise Hank was dead.

…

“I hope you have settled in here just fine.” Charles gave Erik a smile over his shoulder before he focused on his tea making again. “I have. Even when this place is a bit… much.” Charles found the pause there amusing, he was sure that Erik had other words in his head he wanted to use about the house. “It certainly can be.” He agreed and added sugar to his tea, stirring the drink. “It suits you though.” Erik continued, causing Charles to pause his stirring for a moment, before he continued. There was a complex ball of thoughts and emotions in the other man’s head behind the words. Charles knew that Erik saw him as a naïve and sheltered, the mansion was only a proof of it. How did you survive, living in such a hardship? There had been no malice behind the words then and there was none now. If anything, there was relief that Charles had been safe from the cruelty of the world. And Charles was happy to let Erik believe that. In many ways, Charles had been lucky, he never had to worry about his basic needs and there had been nothing to stop him from pursuing his education. There had been other hardships, as Erik put it, his father’s early death, his mother’s negligence, Kurt’s ease at giving out punishments and Cain’s anger and violence. But he had survived and it was in the past. “Why thank you, Mr Lehnsherr.” He said when he turned around, making his accent extra prominent and posh, happy to see the amused quirk of Erik’s eyes.

“And it’s a good foundation for the school.” He continued and was about to take a sip of his tea when a sudden pressure against his mind made him hiss and bring his other hand to rub his temple. “Something wrong?” Erik asked, confused and Charles shook his head, trying to get the feeling go away. “A headache.” He said simply, Erik had become accustomed to his often occurring headaches during their time together, so he would know there was nothing to be worried about. But somehow this one felt strange, not like his usual ones… But it was somehow familiar too… He didn’t have long to think about that, when the pressure just kept growing until it became hot pain inside. Somewhere far there was a crash and a shout. “Charles!” But Charles couldn’t focus, his head was going to split in two! “CHARLES!”

…

Erik didn’t move quite fast enough to stop his friend from falling on the floor on top of the spilled tea and the shards of the cup, but was kneeling beside him almost a second later. Charles was screaming and holding his head, twisting his body in agony and Erik tried to hold him still so he didn’t hurt himself more. “Charles!” He yelled his friend’s name, not knowing what else to do, he had no idea what was going on, what was causing this. Nothing like this had never happened before with the telepath. There was blood falling from the other man’s nose and for a moment Erik’s heart stopped, when he got a sudden thought. Charles was going to die.

When Charles went limp in his arms Erik couldn’t breathe, his fingers quickly taking place against his neck and felt for a pulse. And nothing had ever come close to the relief he experienced when he felt the flutter of Charles’ heart beat against his fingers. It was too fast, but it was there. “Charles?” He called, his voice sounding pathetically weak in his own ears, and shook his friend gently, trying to wake him up, but there was no change. Erik’s hands were shaking when he brushed hair from Charles’ face, incredibly pale in contrast to the bright red of the blood that was still dripping down. He had to get help. No, he needed to take Charles to the help. Erik picked the other man up, making sure that he had a good grip on him, before he hurried towards the basement. Hank had to have something he could do to help Charles.

…

Erik was going to kill Hank. He would have done it already, if he didn’t need the scientist to make sure that Charles was going to be alright. He would have killed Raven too, but he knew that Charles would never forgive him if he did, so they both were allowed to live. At least they were both completely guilt-ridden, as they should be after their stupidity.

Charles was still unconscious, had been the last two hours, laying on his back on a cot. All the others were looking through files for any information about the cursed device that had caused this all. Moira, Alex and Sean had found them in the lab half an hour later, confused by the mess in the kitchen, and started helping them go through the files when they learned the situation. And after Moira had given a stern talk to Hank and Raven, of which Erik wholeheartedly approved. Most of the papers had something to do with physics, a subject that Erik wasn’t too familiar with and the text was heavy, so it stayed quite vague what exactly Charles’ father had researched.

With a tired sigh Erik closed yet another file and put it away before he ran a hand through his hair. They were getting nowhere. He picked up the next file from the pile, shuddering at how thick it was and readied himself for the walls of letters that awaited for him. But he was frozen in place when he saw the first paper and a small picture of a timid blue-eyed boy. A fast sweep through the text gave him the certainty. Subject: Xavier, Charles F. Age: 6 years Ability: Mind reading, mind control Erik kept reading, unable to stop himself. It was same kind of text that he had been reading this far, scientific and emotionless, no matter that the man had been writing about his own son. Son that he had experimented on. Erik turned his head to look at Charles, still sleeping on the cot beside Erik’s chair and the other man had to wonder why he hadn’t said anything…

“Hank.” Erik called after he found the appropriate page about the machine that had caused this. A machine that Charles’ own father had built. The boy winced so badly that he dropped the file currently in his hands, but Erik didn’t feel anything about it, just stood up and showed him the file. “Charles should wake up soon.” Hank looked relieved and then confused, before he read through the text and became pale, turning to look at Charles. “How do you know?” Moira asked, and Erik shared a lost look with Hank. How were they supposed to explain this?

…

Charles didn’t want to open his eyes. His head was throbbing worse than it had after he had used the Cerebro for the first time. “Charles?” That was Erik’s voice. It sounded concerned and caused more voices stir and speak, which made the throbbing even worse. “Not so loud…” Charles tried to speak, but it came out more like a whine. But for his relief the voices quieted and after few more breaths he managed to blink his eyes open. He was in the lab, surrounded by everyone else. They were all looking at him weird and he had a sudden urge to close his eyes again and pretend he was still asleep.

But that would never work, so he pushed himself up instead, a pair of hands helping him to maneuver himself so his back was leaning against the wall. Erik’s hands, it turned out. “How are you feeling?” The other man asked, his tone more tender than Charles had ever heard it. “Like I’m regretting yesterday. What happened?” There was no way he had drank himself into oblivion, at least he hoped it wasn’t the case, because he might never be able to live that down. “You don’t remember?” Raven asked with uneasy voice, making Charles shake his head and regret it immediately. “Thinking in general is a bit hard right now.” He groaned and massaged his head. “You… I… Well we…” Hank tried to explain, sounding even more nervous than he usually did and after starting and stopping for seventh time, Alex had had enough. “Hank and Raven caused a telepathic attack that targeted you.” Charles could do nothing, but stare at the blond boy. The words sounded so crazy that Charles was sure he had heard them wrong. “What?” He managed to ask, only for Raven to almost tackle him with a hug. “We’re so sorry Charles we shouldn’t have touched that machine!” He couldn’t see her face, but he could hear that he had tears in her eyes. He hugged her back to comfort her, but he was still so confused. “Machine? What machine? Where did you even get a machine like that?” He inquired as he untangled his sister’s arms from around him.

His confusion started to turn into concern when everyone just looked at each other with looks that were too hard for Charles to understand without his telepathy, which was on the bench while his head was still aching this bad. “It was here in the lab.” Hank managed to say eventually. But… That didn’t make any sense. Why would that kind of a machine even exist, let alone in his father’s lab? “That’s… strange.” He murmured when a sudden unexplainable shiver ran through him. He didn’t like this. He got startled when Raven took his hand gently in hers. “Charles, it’s okay. We know.” The look in her eyes was sympathetic and too serious for Charles’ liking, when he had no understanding why she and everyone was behaving like this. “Know what?” He questioned, causing another long silence to fall, before Erik spoke. “That your father used you as an experiment subject.” His voice was grave and Charles realised that something very wrong was going on. “What? No! No, must you have misunderstood something. My father never did anything like that.” He tried to assure the others, but they didn’t seem convinced. Erik looked almost frustrated. “Charles, it reads right here.” He insisted and picked up an old looking file like Charles’ father used to have. Something deep in his mind was trying to get his attention, like knocking on the door, but Charles didn’t want to look at it. “No, you’re wrong. My father was a good man, he would never have done that.” He stood firm, but Erik wasn’t backing down and opened the file, trying to show Charles something. “But-“ He didn’t have time when Charles smacked the file off of his hand, surprising everyone, including himself, but he couldn’t stop anymore. “No!” He shouted, but at this point, he didn’t know who he was trying to convince at this point. He brought his hands to his head, digging his fingers in his hair as he shook it in frustration. “No, it’s not true.” He tried to shout again, but it was like all the energy had been sucked out of him. It wasn’t true… It couldn’t be…

Suddenly he was pulled against someone’s chest in to a hug. It wasn’t Raven, the body feeling too hard against him and then he was consumed by Erik’s scent with his next inhale. He didn’t know what was happening, but he buried his head closer to the other man’s shoulder and held his shirt tight, like his sanity depended on it. “It can’t be true.” He whispered, tears gathering in his eyes and felt how Erik’s hand smoothed his hair. “It’s okay, Charles.” Erik murmured next to his ear and more than anything, Charles wanted to believe it.

[svtkillua]

little lion man > 2

rating: [pg-13 / angst] pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader x todoroki shouto warnings: cursing, lots of yummy angst >:)) word count: 11.3k listen while you read here!

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ch.1 + ch.2 + ch.3 + ch.4 (final) + alt. ending

A broken heart was a nuisance, an annoying leech that sucked the life out of you every moment you paused to think about the pain it was spreading through your limbs. Every second you spent with your mind not occupied you wanted to scream and cry. It felt like your emotions were burning embers and anytime you paused to give it oxygen the fire would grow and consume you til you were nothing but ashes.

You  had been on a roller coaster for a week straight, you had highs and lows and every dip and turn was filled with Bakugou. He was in your favorite songs and covering your walls. He was in your brain and in your vision and filled your senses down to your atoms that made you alive. Sometimes you felt angry, sometimes you felt happy, but mostly you felt so incredibly sad.

You’d managed to, mostly, get Bakugou off your case after repeatedly insisting you’d just been surprised and upset at the possibility of losing him. It wasn’t technically a lie, you were definitely surprised when he’d announced his plans to get engaged. To say you hadn’t seen it coming would have been an understatement.  You conveniently left out that your heart had been crushed and that you’d never suffered a pain more severe in your entire life thus far. It had felt like you got hit head on by a speeding train that you’d been too slow to dodge.

Now was the hard part; to continue to act like you were okay, like you couldn’t wait to watch him get married and see them began their happily ever after. You were pinning your emotions to the back of your mind and tying them down with a neat little bow because you needed to. You would be the best friend Bakugou deserved and yearned for right now, even if it made you feel like your insides were rotting.

All of it was frustrating. It was frustrating he didn’t love you but you so unwaveringly loved him. It was frustrating he could so easily tell when something was wrong with you and made it so much harder for you to lie. It was frustrating that every moment alone felt like torture because all you could think of was him with her and there was nothing to distract you. He had been your distraction when you’d been hurt before, and now he was unknowingly the cause and couldn’t be the cure.

Maybe you’d just feel this sad, heartbroken and lonely forever. Maybe you’d always be stupidly in love with someone whose heart was taken. Maybe you were foolish for thinking you could’ve had a chance if you tried harder. Maybe you’d be alone and in love til the day you died with someone you’d never have and would never want you. Maybe that was your fate in life, to have a permanent fake smile and empty feeling in your chest.

It was all affecting you more than you could let on, though you were mostly convincing, sometimes even to yourself. It was like your brain had turned to stone and got chipped to pieces too small to make coherent thoughts other than how awful you felt at times. You just needed to ignore the gnawing in your chest that had been so consistent lately it was becoming a part of you. Then you would be fine, you had to be.

For Bakugou.

He was obviously worried about you, even after the long phone call and a few days passing. He’d been calling more frequently and every time his voice would waver on the edge of concern when your tone wasn’t quite right. Whether or not he trusted what you had told him didn’t matter, because you could hear the worry lacing his tone when he’d repeatedly asked if you were okay. It only solidified your decision to put your feelings aside and focus on him, because you loved him too much to egg on the anxiety you were causing him. Besides, there was no reason for the both of you to be living a pained existence.

Convincing yourself that locking your feelings behind a perfect smile would be easy had been step one, though in the far parts of your mind you knew it wouldn’t ever work. Now, you just had to actually put that thought into action and try to be there for him. Perhaps the self sacrifice would persuade the universe to give you a break.

The wind whipped at your cheeks as your eyes squinted into the cool air blowing your hair away from your face. Your feet made soft clapping sounds against the pavement as you took a quick peek towards Bakugou’s building, the large inconspicuous residence you hadn’t been to in months. Perhaps it felt more intimidating because you’d be alone with Bakugou for the first time in a long time. The thought made your abdomen twist uncomfortably, the wind shifting directions, your jacket flitting open.

The sky was a pale blue and dotted with soft looking white clouds, the streets slow but bustling as workers fled their jobs for lunch. The day wasn’t nearly as ominous looking as your last time seeing Bakugou had been, but your mind still felt restless as the front door came into view. Your fingers were wrapping around your phone before you could dwell on it, plucking it from your coat pocket, fingers to drumming across the glass.

To; Bakugou [ 15:04 ]:

I’m here come let me in it’s cold!

Coming over for a late lunch had been Bakugou’s idea after you’d been seemingly sticking to phone calls rather than visits in person when he had free time. He’d been complaining about it and you could only tell the boy no so many times before he’d multiply his suspicions and assume the worst. He opened the door after a few minutes, a breathtaking grin on his face as he promptly reached out and tugged you inside.

You were met with a gush of warmth as the door closed behind you, a content sigh slipping out as you hung up your coat and slid your phone into your back pocket for safekeeping. He flashed a relaxed smile as you slipped your shoes off, his body pulling yours in for a hug the moment you stood upright. You tensed for a second when his body molded into yours, but took a shaky breathe to relax, slithering your own arms around his waist.

“Missed you.” He hummed mutely and slowly slid his arms off of you, his tongue poking out to wet his lips as he looked down at you. His hands moved to your shoulders as he held you at an arm’s length, eyes examining your entirety.

“We talked on the phone yesterday, Katsu.” You quietly laughed and patted his chest with your palms out flat, dipping your body away from him as you moved further into his home. Something about being here had always made you feel content. Maybe it was because it smelled like he did when you’d hug him so tight he’d burn into your senses.

Your eyes flickered around the living room you hadn’t seen in so long, landing on picture frame after picture frame filled with photos of him and Camie. Sure, there were some mixed in of yourself, his family and the boys, but you could tell without counting that most of the new items in the room were featuring her. From the baby pink teddy bear sitting on a desk in the corner, to the several photos of the two of them dotting the white walls, her presence was made known.

Hatred wasn’t something you felt for her but jealousy without a doubt was. It wasn’t that you disliked yourself, you just had an ever expanding nagging in your brain reminding you of all the things she had you lacked. She was smart and graceful and kind and oh so beautiful, according to Bakugou. She had gotten his affections just by being herself and you were resentful that you being you apparently wasn’t enough to do the same. Not for him, at least.

He cared about her and that was so immensely obvious just by having seen the two of them interacting. It made your confidence deflate. All the things you so badly wanted to do with Bakugou, she would get. The memory of her kissing his lips and holding his hand replayed in your head like a sick movie designed to make you ill and you had to take a deep breathe to try to push that sickness away.

You followed Bakugou’s retreating back towards his kitchen, away from the taunting photos, where he’d set up a small lunch for the pair of you. A small smile spread on your lips as you sat, eyes watching him move around his kitchen to get you both drinks. You could see his lips moving but his words weren’t registering in your conscience, though he seemed to be talking about what he ordered you for lunch. All you could focus on was how relaxed he looked there in the kitchen with you, chuckling to himself about how much food he’d bought.

Little moments like this had been what made it so simple to develop feelings for him. He just seemed so close to you in those minutes when he was the most himself he could be, just talking about his day and moving without thinking. When you were alone like this he wasn’t Bakugou Katsuki the hero, he was Bakugou Katsuki, your idiot of a best friend who loved to make you smile.

Had you really been that stupid for thinking that maybe, somewhere, in the deepest parts of his heart, he had been falling in love with you too?  Had it been stupid to think that these moments alone had felt just a right as they had to you? How was it possible for you to have been developing such different feelings every single second of your time together? You had only ever been watching him when he had never really glanced at you, not in the way you yearned for.

“Here we go.” Bakugou sighed, finally settling into his seat, placing a mug of your favorite tea in front of you before he sipped some of his own. You noticed he was using the mug you’d sent him a couple months ago while he was on tour, shifting your eyes to his face as you picked up your utensils.

“Thanks, Katsu.” You smiled a small but genuine smile as you took a bite, your smile spreading as you took another, much bigger one. Bakugou’s light laughter made heat rush along your face as you narrowed your eyes at him.

“Shut up, I haven’t eaten all day.” You defended halfheartedly, taking another bite before snapping your chopsticks towards his face, which only made him laugh a bit harder, his head shaking from side to side.

“You just look cute with your cheeks all puffed out like that. Like a chipmunk or something.” He commented, using his finger tip to poke one of your food filled cheeks, making your eyes roll.

The two of you fell into your easy rhythm so quickly and it felt like for just a few minutes you didn’t have to keep your guard up. You didn’t need to pretend you were happy because simply being with Bakugou made you so much happier than you wanted to admit. You wanted so badly to hate him for making you feel this way, but you just couldn’t seem to.

You were both sipping your tea, plates mostly empty,  a huge amount of leftovers on the counter. The kitchen silent besides the quiet ticking of the clock on the far wall behind you, as it had been for a few moments since your conversation died out. His eyes had averted from yours when the silence fell, your own taking advantage of the beat in conversation,  trailing over the lines of his jaw and neck. You watched as his muscles moved when he swallowed and let out a small huff of air, it sounding a little strained.

His fingertip was dragging lazily along the rim of the mug he had set down, a drip of the brown liquid rolling down the side of the cup and pooling onto the table below it. Your knee bounced under the table as he took a slow inhale before he spoke, the anxiety bubbling in your stomach.

“Were you mad at me? The other night, I mean? Were you mad?” His eyes were avoiding yours as the words slipped out, perhaps because he knew this was the tenth time he’d asked you the past week if he’d done something wrong. To you, he had done something hugely wrong by loving Camie instead of you, but you couldn’t exactly tell him that without telling him everything, and that was a conversation you definitely weren’t having right that moment.

“Why would I have been mad at you Katsu?” You took a second to compose yourself before you spoke, not wanting to give yourself away or say something you shouldn’t. You knew if you kept avoiding this conversation he’d eventually grow agitated but you also had to tread carefully or he’d start figuring things out.

You lifted your cup up to your lips, which puckered to blow some of the steam away before you took a drink. His eyes shifted over to your, moving from your hands, to the mug, then up to your eyes, his own masked slightly by his lashes and messy, spiky pieces of hair. He ran his fingers through it to push it aside.

“I don’t know, I just…  I just feel like something changed, like we changed. I don’t want you to think that just because I’ll be married to Camie that we’re going to be any different. I wouldn’t ever let that happen to us.” His bottom lip tucked up under his teeth as he scrunched his face up some. His ruby eyes squinted closed as his lip slowly slipped out from under his teeth, lips pursing as he debated his words. “I know that everything seems really sudden, we’ve only really been together a year. I shouldn’t have expected you to be ecstatic when you barely know her.”

His voice was quiet but felt so loud in the space surrounding you, the air reverberating with the sounds. Everything had changed when he told you, you changed and you knew he could see the shift. The way he’d hugged you when he left made it obvious he knew you weren’t okay even if he appeared to be telling himself you were. You couldn’t have been sure why, maybe it was because Kaminari had walked in on your conversation, or perhaps it was because Camie had been there.

“She’s just so incredible, she’s so special to me. I don’t even know how I got lucky enough to get her. The idea of losing Camie now…” He trailed off his little rant, eyes moving away from yours and down towards his cup, staring at his spoon as he swirled it around. His head shook slightly as he tilted his head upwards so his eyes were on you again.

You were sure you loved him more than Camie never would. How was it possible for him to not see that you meant so much more to him than a friend? How could he for a second think that no one who love him again when you always had?

“I just, I can’t lose you, either of you. I need her but I need you too, so badly.” Bakugou’s gentle tone felt like he was trying to calm you down, like he didn’t want to awaken the sadness in your heart he wasn’t sure was there inside you. “No matter what happens with me and her I’m always going to care about you and need you, here, with me.”

Was it possible to be dumped by someone you were never dating? You felt like he was giving you the talk when all you’d ever done was daydream from a safe distance about what it would be like to be his. Why did he feel the need to explain how much he needed her when you didn’t need convincing that he was in love with her? You thought you were the only one not acting like yourself, but seeing Bakugou’s eyes now darting between yours made you question that.

“Katsu, I know you love her, I know you need her. Relax. You know you don’t have to explain yourself to me.” It was the truth, Bakugou never needed to explain himself to you, and right now you didn’t particularly want him to. You could only listen to him fawn over her so much before you’d start feeling like you were being suffocated. “I just want you to be happy Bakugou, no matter what.”

He stayed still for a moment, his fingers having grown motionless against the cup as he focused in on you. He was scrutinizing you, trying to read your thoughts and find out your very secrets you were struggling to hide. You’d thought you’d been convincing but perhaps you weren’t as good of an actress as you had thought.

The obnoxious ringing from his phone got the attention of both of your gazes, his screen lighting up and flashing with Camie’s name. You bit down hard on your bottom lip, standing up with your dirty cup and heading towards the kitchen sink as he cleared his throat behind you before answering.

“Hey…Yeah, sorry we were eating lunch.” You could hear bits of his conversation as you turned the water on and rinsed your cup out, glancing at him over your shoulder as he retreated from the room, phone pressed to his ear as his voice caught your ears again. “No, it’s just me and her.”

A quiet sigh left your lips once he was out of your line of vision and you tilted your head downwards, damp hands gripping the countertop. You could feel yourself getting worked up as you repeated him talking about her in your head.

In the movies and books they always made it seem like getting your heart broken was one quick moment, but it wasn’t. It was so slow. It was all consuming and would build and build until you finally couldn’t take it anymore. It would kick at your chest and turn your skin deep purple and blue. It would throw hammers at your ribs and rip apart the bones before yanking out your heart. It would squeeze it tightly and cut off the blood flow and make that pain grow and grow til it was all too much.

It was breaking you, the only question was what would be the final push to ruin you. How many more words of his love for her could you take?  You were barely making it as it was, your eyes were lined in dark circles makeup couldn’t quite cover up, your body sluggish and mind in a fog. You could only ignore the silent pain for so long before you were going to lose it, despite how hard you were trying to make it okay.

You placed the cup in the dish rack before padding your way through the house, looking for Bakugou, spotting his back in the crack of his bedroom door. Judging by the sound of his muffled voice he appeared to still be on the phone, his messy hair moving slightly as he shook his bit of head you could see.

“…just haven’t been alone for a while, that’s all. You know I wanna see you, too.” Was all you picked up as you walked past, going into his makeshift study. It was a small room with a desk, some bookshelves and a little keyboard in the corner. You shut the door behind you as you sighed, rubbing the bridge of your nose. You dropped down into the chair at his desk, using your foot to kick off the ground and give it a light spin.

The room was hushed besides the sound of the world outside coming through the barely cracked open window, the curtains fluttering in the breeze coming through. His space was littered with crumpled up papers and stacks of books and magazines so high you were surprised they hadn’t toppled onto the ground yet.

You sighed quietly as you slid your phone from your pocket, hair falling into your face like a curtain you were too lazy to move. You hummed to yourself as you noticed you had a text waiting from Todoroki and opened it with a tap of your finger, eyes flickering over the words.

Todoroki [ 15:44 ] :

Do you want to come over and watch a movie later? I got that new mystery thriller you wanted to see.

Your fingers drummed over the letters as you sent a quick response back, before setting your phone back into your pocket.

To; Todoroki [ 16:02 ] :

Sorry, was eating lunch with Katsu. That sounds great, I’ll text you once I’m home.

Your fingertip slid along the edge of the desk as you rocked side to side in the chair, eyes trailing along behind it before you paused, noticing his top desk drawer was ajar. Curiosity got the best of you as you slowly gripped the edge, giving it a gentle tug open. It was mostly junk, scrap papers and little notes tossed inside to be reread later. You moved to shut it when it caught your eye; a small, black, velvet box tucked safely in the back corner.

The air felt thick as you halted your movements, unable to tear your eyes away from the unassuming object as your lips parted to let out a sharp breathe. You hesitated before picking it up, your mind going a mile a minute at the possibilities of what could be inside. You held the box delicately in the middle of your palm, as if it could snap and bite you if you touched it wrong. Your breathing felt too labored, chest too tight as you rested your fingers against the top. The sinking feeling in your chest making you gulp for air as you shifted your weight anxiously.

The room felt to silence as you pulled the lid open and your eyes were met with a beautiful diamond ring. It took your brain a second to catch up with what you were seeing, the panic spreading through your veins before you could register that the box had contained exactly what you dreaded. It sparkled when the light hit it as your hand shook and you felt like the universe was mocking you, laughing at how pathetic you’d become.

It was incredible how a stupid piece of jewellery could make your mood plummet. You’d let your guard down too much today with him, you’d forgotten the reality of what was going on outside of the little bubble you’d climbed inside. You’d been idiotic to think you could pretend your feelings into nothingness, foolish even for even giving that kinda thought an ounce of your time. Your fingers shook some so you squeezed your hand tighter around the black velvet, bottom lip beginning to tremble instead.

It definitely wasn’t anything to scoff at, a large teardrop shaped, crystal clear diamond in the center. It had two smaller pink gems on the sides of it, the entire band covered in rosy stones with delicate gold swirls protruding behind the teardrop shape. It screamed Camie. It was elegant and graceful and the pink tones reminded you of the color her cheeks turned when she blushed.

You felt like you could vomit, staring at the perfect stone and thinking of how much it seemed like her. She was just as perfect, just as elegant, just as graceful.

It was no wonder he loved her and not you.

The trepidation that crept up your spine made your entire body tense up, like you’d been shoved in a bath of ice water. Your nose scrunched as you tried to swallow, aware of your loud breathing, fingers snapping the lid shut before you could stare anymore. All you could picture was him slipping it onto her finger and the image made you want to run so far away. Seeing the ring in person only solidified the plans he’d told you, you just hadn’t imagined you’d be seeing it beginning to happen so fast.

The damn perfect ring represented so much more to you than just being a ring. It was everything you weren’t, everything Bakugou loved and cherished all wrapped around in gold and covered in diamonds. It was everything you’d never be and never have and everything you wanted so bad it was crushing you inside. How could you have been so naive to let yourself get here? How could you let your heart be swayed so easily by one boy to the point where he held your whole being in his palm and could toss it aside whenever he pleased? You were just a stupid girl with stupid feelings for a boy who didn’t seem to understand how he could, and was, affecting yours with every move he made towards her.

A single tear slipped down against the side of your nose, your curled up hand rubbing it away as you pushed the box back in place and slammed the drawer shut with your knee. Your hands shook as you walked over and sat idly on the small cushioned bench in front of his keyboard, fingers curling into your palms to make hard fists against your thighs. A shaky breathe fell out as you squeezed your eyes closed, now thankful for the curtain of hair shutting the room around you out.

Your head lifted up towards the ceiling, eyes opening back up as another tear slid out of the corner, spilling along your temple and skimming the shell of your ear, your hand raising to absentmindedly wipe it’s wet trail away. You felt like you weren’t in your body anymore, like your systems had all shut down and put you on low power mode. You were weak, too weak to really cry and too stubborn to address the agony in your bones that was screaming for attention.

You turned your body towards the keyboard, back to the door as you stared down at the pristine white rectangles, mind blank. The keys were untouched while the actual body of the keyboard was littered with little notes and lyrics he’d apparently not wanted to forget. He had a little piece of music you’d given him to practice awhile ago set on the music stand, his messy handwriting all over it.

You wanted to leave. You needed to leave. You felt like you were drowning but no one could see you struggling.  Like your lungs were filling with water and you couldn’t scream for help, only now the water was pain and sadness and you couldn’t scream for help because no one could know you were being killed. No one could know because he couldn’t know.

Your fingers slid over the keys before you really thought about it, barely using pressure to play a somber tune, trying to simultaneously fill the void of silence but also quiet down the sound of your heart pounding in your ears.The emotions you had bubbling just below the surface made your body slouch forwards, eyes run dry but feeling tired.

Why was it that the one you wanted was the one you couldn’t have? Why did you have to fall in love with someone like Bakugou? He had become your everything without even knowing it. He was the sun and the moon and all the stars in the universe and you were just an admirer who stared at it all from a telescope. You’d never even gotten close to capturing him but somehow in your mind you had thought you would.

The quiet melody you played blocked out the sound of Bakugou sighing as he came in the room, but the sound of the door closing caught your attention enough to make your fingers stop their movements. His body sunk onto the bench beside you, a heavy exhale coming from his lips as his hands ran over his face unceremoniously.

“I’m sorry that took so long. It was Camie, she said to tell you hello.” Bakugou spoke with a half convincing smile, his forehead leaning over and resting against your shoulder. You could tell he was put off now, but didn’t want to push it, your mind lingering to the box hidden in the desk as his body relaxed against your side.

You hated how effortlessly he could make your nerves multiply at this proximity, he was barely even touching you but he somehow seemed to have total control over your body. Half of you loved having him so close, loved feeling his lips press into your covered shoulder and hearing his breathing slow. The other half of you, however, dreaded having him like this as it only seemed to make the painful state of your heart more prevalent. You could feel his tense muscles relax against your side, his breathing slowly evening out to his normal pace.

“Teach me to play what you were playing.” He broke the few minutes of silence with his voice, nudging you with his elbow and straightening his back out. His eyes flickered over the keys before he turned his head to look at you, his hair falling further against his forehead. “I’m a good student, I promise.”

You stared at him for a moment before silently nodding, seeing the small smile tug on his lips before you let your fingers repeat the quiet tune, your free hand rested on your lap and tapping the beat into your thigh. You glanced over at him once you finished, nodding towards the piano to indicate he should try.

He nodded his own head, fingers reaching forward and starting to slip ungracefully between each note, hitting the keys a bit too hard to make the melody sound right. You let out an involuntary quiet laugh, making him pout and turn his upper half towards you as he spoke.

“Don’t laugh at me!” He grumbled like a little kid, even stomping his foot lightly to make it the full package. It was almost funny how quickly his mood had shifted from disgruntled and quiet to his usual playful, hotheaded state.

“I’m sorry.” You quipped, laughter quieting down as you shook your head at him and tried to calm your nerves, “You’re just hitting the keys too hard, it has to be more gentle, like this.”

You shifted towards the instrument again, biting down on your bottom lip as you let your fingers float through the melody. You were barely ghosting over the keys, just enough to make an audible sound. Your body moved with the notes, throat vibrating with hums as you let the sounds fill the room.

When you glanced over at him to see if he was paying attention, you noticed his eyes weren’t on the keys, or even your hands, but on your face. He hadn’t noticed you were looking at him, he was too in his head to realize he’d been caught staring. Something about the way his eyes were glued to you, with his lips parted and his breathing slow made your stomach tie into a knot.

You cleared your throat, reaching over and patting his knee with a sigh, which seemed to pull him from whatever was going on in that brain of his. You felt your mind going fuzzy as you shook your head at him.

“You’re a horrible student, you’re not even paying attention.” You scolded, narrowing your eyes at him as if you were mad. He just flashed you a sheepish smile and laughed quietly, bumping his shoulder lightly into yours as he muttered a small apology. For a moment you swore you saw a blush on creep onto his cheeks.

“I got it now.” He defended, hands once again resuming their place on the keys, moving too quickly and too aggressively through the tune, perhaps even worse than before. You rolled your eyes, adjusting your body so it was closer to his before letting your hand fall on top of his above the keys.

“Like this, Katsu..” You mumbled, fingers laying atop of each of his, his body stilling for a moment before beginning to move with your guidance. You tried not to focus on how soft his skin felt against your palm, not daring to look at his face as you swallowed thickly. “You see? Soft, it sounds better this way.”

“Yeah.” His voice was quiet, like speaking too loud would be alarming with how pressed together your bodies were. You finally let your face turn towards his again and instantly realized it was a mistake. You were way too close and at this distance you could see every single detail Bakugou Katsuki had.

His eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks as his eyes flitted across your face, his tongue poking out of his soft looking lips to wet them. You could see all the tiny details on his face, like the tiny scratch on his cheek from fighting with whoever and how his long eyelashes danced upon his cheeks. His thigh was pressing into yours and your hands were still overlapped though his was no longer moving, which stilled yours. Your nerves that had felt so fried the past few days were suddenly running on overdrive and your brain wasn’t moving well enough to process what was going on.

He let out a shaky breath as his eyes focused in on yours and held them in place, his free hand lifting up and pushing your hair back behind your ear as he spoke.

“Thank you.” His voice was soft, but sounded loud in the silent space around you, his calloused fingers lingering there by your cheek and not moving away. His fingertips dragged across your cheekbone, thumb grazing the corner of your lip just barely but the touch felt too intimate. Your heart was pounding so hard you could feel the blood pumping through your veins, making your fingertips feel like there were drums banging in them.

You couldn’t move, glued to the spot as his hand under yours turned, your palms flush as he slotted his fingers through yours, his other hand slipping away from your face, leaving what felt like burns behind. His eyes moved away from yours and instead to behind you, towards his desk. You were close enough to kiss him, just a tilt of your head and your lips could be on his. Your ribs felt bruised from how hard your heart was thumping into them.  

Your eyes flickered over his face as his eyes remained glued to his desk and you silently wondered what he had said thank you for. Was it for, badly, trying to teach him to play the song, or something else? What had you done that was worthy of a thank you, and why was he holding your hand so tightly the longer he stared across the room? Why did he have to be so beautiful with the light flooding through the window casting a glow over his features? Why did it have to hurt so much to love him?

He swallowed hard, his thumb brushing across the face of your hand as his eyes finally moved to yours, a quiet sigh reaching your ears. He looked serious, his eyes definitive as he stared at you.

“Have you…have you ever thought ab-”

“Babe? Are you guys here?”

Camie’s voice cut off whatever Bakugou was going to say, his hand slipping from yours and his body springing away as if you’d scorched him. He was immediately standing up, eyes darting around the room, looking anywhere but at you as the door to the room opened, Camie’s smiling face meeting the both of yours. You felt an odd sense of nerves course through you for a moment, like you’d almost been caught doing something secret and immoral.

“What are you doing here?” Bakugou asked, his hand raising to scratch the back of his neck. He cleared his throat to try and clear out the waver in his voice, his body moving him a step closer to her.

“I got done with my class early and thought I would bring you guys some dinner.” Camie smiled brightly, giving you a polite wave hello before moving over to wrap her arms around her boyfriend. Bakugou glanced over at you once quickly before he wrapped his arms around her small middle, lifting her off the ground slightly when he stood up with her in his grasp. Her playful gasp and loud squeal had his laughter floating out so easily.

Watching him shift all his focus to her felt crushing, like the moment she showed up you no longer existed. Every step he took towards Camie was a million more away from you. To think for a second there you’d been imaging he was going to kiss you. Were you really that delusional?

The way they so simply made each other happy made you wanna scream. Camie was busy chatting away about her class to Bakugou, his head nodding though judging by the look in his eyes you could tell he wasn’t listening. His eyes were following her lips as they moved, his hands grasping her hips so she didn’t drift too far from him, but his brain wasn’t digesting the words.

You’d been living in a fantasy for a moment and Camie walking in brought you back to reality. You couldn’t keep letting yourself do this, you couldn’t give into how badly you wanted to be with him because this was what always followed. It wasn’t just self sacrificing, it was self destructive.

You tore your eyes away from the pair of them as you slid your phone from your pocket, throat constricted as you quickly texted Todoroki.

To; Todoroki [ 16:47 ]:

Change of plans, would you be able to come get me from Bakugou’s please? I don’t want to walk home, it’s too cold out.

“Did you wanna stay and eat with us?’ Bakugou’s voice met your ears as he spoke to Camie, your eyes on their feet as they shuffled closer to each other. You silently wondered if they’d forgotten you were in a room, Camie had barely even acknowledged your presence the entire time she’d been here. Your phone buzzed with a response, making you glance at it.

Todoroki [ 16:48 ]:

On my way, I’ll be there in a few minutes.

Camie’s giggling made you gaze up again, her trademark blush spread across her cheeks as Bakugou lightly let his fingers tickle her sides, his smile a tad more relaxed than it had been a minute or two ago. You rose to your feet, which made Bakugou look in your direction once quickly, his grip on Camie loosening enough for her to turn her body towards yours.

“I should probably get going, actually.” You said with a forced smile, desperately wanting to get out of the room you were trapped in with the happy pair. Because the truth was you weren’t fine, you weren’t sure you’d ever be fine. You were a wreck and you were forcing things to seem okay because you were too scared to face what may happen if you admitted they weren’t.

Remembering that engagement ring was hidden in the desk beside you made your blood run cold. Your fingernails dug half moons into your palms, bottom lip trembling as the tears threatened to spill while you desperately tried to force them down, starting to move out of the room. How were you supposed to do this? How did anyone do this? Those romantic movies were such shit, no one would want to fall in love if they knew this was how it was going to feel.  

You hadn’t known, and look where that got you.

“You don’t have to go.” Bakugou’s voice clicked in your mind as you exited the room, his footsteps trailing behind you as you made your way back towards the living room. The pictures of them on the walls now felt like they were there to mock you, to remind you that you weren’t wanted.

“We’d love to have you eat with us.” Camie insisted, appearing by Bakugou’s side as she slid her hand slowly into his, her sweet face twisted into a small frown as you slid your shoes back onto your feet. You hated how she answered for the both of them. Then again, Bakugou had invited her to join you both on behalf of the two of you. Maybe he just didn’t care if you wanted her there or not.

“It’s alright, you guys should have some alone time. Todoroki’s on his way already anyway.” You insisted, tugging on your jacket and noticing how Bakugou’s grip on her hand relaxed. Hers only tightened however, her body shuffling about as close to his as she could get without actually being against him. It made your body burn seeing how perfect they looked together, a vision of beauty and pain to your heart.

The room was mute for a moment as you got your jacket situated and buttoned up properly, fingers weaving through your hair and pushing it back off your face while Bakugou just stared. He pursed his lips slightly and then folded them in on themselves, making his mouth a straight, hard line. He looked dejected which you couldn’t quite understand. He had Camie here, he invited her to stay. Why would he be frustrated you were leaving? You knew he wanted you to like her but surely he didn’t expect you to be their constant third wheel.

Camie seemed to notice his quiet state and leaned up, kissing his cheek and frowning in concern as her free hand lifted up and cupped his chin, moving his face towards hers as she quietly asked if he was okay. The worry was clear on her features, her eyebrows furrowed as her thumb drew gentle circles on the curve of his cheek, his head barely nodding in response. You were beyond grateful to hear the knock on the door, turning your body and tugging it open without hesitation.

Todoroki stood with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans, a dark colored sweater on his top half making him look soft. He had been looking at his shoes, his head lifting up when you answered and a smile spreading on his famous lips.

“Hey.” He spoke, stepping forward to pull your body into his hard chest, arms holding you tight for a small hug, your eyelids fluttering shut and savoring the warmth of his sweater covered chest against your cheek. “You ready to go?”

You nodded and pulled away from him, turning to bid the couple a goodbye, Bakugou staring at you with that unreadable look on his face again. His eyes were on your back, then on Todoroki, his jaw clenched uncomfortably and his free hand balled up into a loose fist. You moved your body forward to his, his demeanor relaxing as he slid his arms around you.

His hug felt different than Todoroki’s, his was hard and made your body crush into his, his palms encasing your back like a shield and his breath fanning across your cheek as he leaned his head down. You were surprised when his lips puckered against your cheek considering Camie was beside him, but she didn’t seem to have much of a reaction other than an uncomfortable clearing of her throat.

“I’ll see you later, Katsu, thank you for lunch.” You said quietly, pulling from his tight grip and rubbing your hands along your forearms anxiously. He simply nodded but said nothing back as you turned away from him. You followed Todoroki out the door, taking a deep breath of the crisp air outside once the door clicked shut behind you. Your muscles were achy and sore as you moved towards the car, body exhausted from the few hours there with Bakugou.

You felt like you’d gone through every emotion, from happy to sad to confused and back again. Your ability to keep it together was becoming paper thin, your mind foggy and begging to just be silent for a few hours. The tiny rope holding you together was being plucked apart string by string and was ready to snap.

The only question was when.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The taste of the expensive alcohol on your tongue was doing little to dull your senses in the crowded expensive restaurant. The private back room you occupied was lavish, with high ceilings and a dazzling chandelier that sparkled in the dim lighting. The air felt hot and the music was so inaudible it might as well have been turned off.

Your dress was too stuffy, your thighs sticking to the faux leather seat beneath you as you shifted and tugged the too thick material. You were uncomfortable here. Uncomfortable under the gleam of all the expensive things.

Uncomfortable in the stupid dress that made you feel like you were being choked. But most of all, uncomfortable being sat at the end of the table where you had a perfect view of Bakugou and Camie, side by side and feeding each other bites of their dinners.

You didn’t know how you’d been forced to come to Camie’s birthday dinner, Bakugou had insisted she wanted you to come and since most of the boys were coming you’d given in. You were sat between Kaminari and Kirishima. Midoriya, Sero, and Todoroki were across from you at the large wooden table. You hated being here. You hated being subjected to watching the happy couple kiss and hug all night long like some form of specific torture catered towards your secrets and insecurities.

It all felt too much, them so in love, the sound of her friends loud laughter and chatting, the way Kaminari kept catching you staring at Bakugou, the tight anxious feeling in your chest every time Bakugou took a second to glance your way, all of it. Your nerves were at max capacity, body nearly buzzing from the emotions bottled up inside you and all you wanted to do was go home.

You sighed quietly, taking another sip of your drink as you glanced over at Kirishima, who had let out a bored grumble, making you crack a tiny smile. The youngest boy looked like he’d rather be anywhere but there, his arms folded lazily over his broad chest and the corners of his lips just barely turned downwards as he spoke.

“I don’t like her.”

You nearly choked on the sip of your drink you’d just swallowed, Kaminari’s large hand clapping at your back to make sure you could breathe while Midoriya’s eyebrows narrowed across the table at Kirishima.

“That’s not polite, Kirishima.” He scolded, taking a small bite of the food in front of him. Kirishima scoffed quietly as he sat up properly and picked up his own drink, speaking as he lifted it up to his lips.

“Don’t you think this is all a bit much for a birthday party?”

You bit down on your bottom lip as you set your glass down, eyes skimming over the other boys as they remained tight lipped, though Kaminari was bouncing his leg beside yours. Your last birthday you’d spent watching movies and eating pizza with Sero, Kirishima and Tokoyami while Todoroki baked you a cake and Bakugou insisted he did all the decorating. You’d just assumed this was going to be a small dinner, not this lavish affair it seemed to have become, her friends all in expensive looking outfits and the prices on the menu you’d seen astronomical. You could understand Kirishima’s distaste for location choice, it wouldn’t have been your first choice either.

“She’s been all over him all night like she’s trying to show him off.” Kirishima added and set his glass down after taking a swig, his hand overlapping as he folded them neatly in front of his body at the table. “So I don’t like her, period. I don’t really care if that’s rude.”

You took a glance down towards the other end of the table as Midoriya started lecturing Kirishima, muting out their conversation and letting your eyes wander over Bakugou as he took a bite of his food. Camie was chatting away with her friends beside him, his tongue poking out to lick his lips off as his eyes glanced over at her.  His arm moved slightly from its grip around the back of her chair, instead wrapping around her shoulders. A smile tugged on her lips that made jealousy rage in the pit of your stomach from the simple gesture. It killed you to know you’d never have that with him, as much as you were trying to pretend it wasn’t hurting you.

You were scared of what would happen when you let the floodgates open. How were you ever going to move on if you let yourself feel just how deeply those emotions for Bakugou ran? You had been rooted to the same spot for so long hoping that maybe, just maybe, the impossible would happen, but deep in the back of your mind you knew that time was never going to come. That was becoming more obvious with each passing day.

When Bakugou’s eyes flickered towards your end of the table, he paused for a moment, gaze catching yours and you held it, swallowing down the lump that threatened to grow in your throat. He stared at you hard, his expression not changing and his eyes too hard to read from so far away, though you doubted there was any meaning behind them. He’d been distant the past few days, like you’d hurt him and he was pulling away and while it stung, part of you had been thankful for the time to try and put yourself together.

But you missed him, gosh did you miss him. You missed him every second you weren’t with him, even when being with him was murdering your mental state. It was like he was a drug and you were an addict waiting for their next fix. Only with Bakugou, coming down from the high felt more like plummeting off a cliff and landing right on your back, all the air being thrown out of your body along with any signs of happiness.

When Camie turned towards him and spoke something into his ear, his eyes moved away, a smile on his lips as he responded to whatever they were talking about. You pulled your own eyes away, feeling a pair burning into your face and looking over at the source. Todoroki, who you’d caught sending you looks all night. He’d been like your saviour all week, letting you stay at his place when yours felt too lonely, never asking any questions or pushing you to tell him why you weren’t acting like yourself. You knew he had noticed, if anyone was perceptive it was Todoroki, he never missed a thing.

Kaminari cleared his throat beside you, fingertip poking your cheek and gaining your attention as he smiled sweetly in your direction, nodding towards your plate of untouched food as he spoke.

“Are you okay? You’ve barely eaten.” His head tilted to the side, a small frown spreading on his pouty lips and his shoulders slumping, as if your lack of consumption completely deflated his mood.

“I’m alright, just not very hungry. Don’t worry, Kami.” You smiled faintly at him, patting his hand lightly and kissing his cheek, his head bobbing up and down as if he understood. Of course you weren’t hungry. How could you be hungry when you kept watching him kiss her? It made you want to expel everything in your body every time you saw it.

You sighed quietly and pushed your chair out, excusing yourself as Camie’s friends all quieted down to hear the story she was telling them. Bakugou’s fingers were drawing lazy shapes on her bare shoulder blade, your eyes tearing away as you made a silent b-line for the restroom, desperate for a second alone.

The minute the bathroom door closed behind you, you sighed heavily, leaning your back into the hard black door and closing your eyes. You were on the edge of a mental breakdown, your brain on overdrive to even keep you functioning. You were holding too much in. You didn’t want to hurt anyone else’s heart in the process of hurting your own, but could barely handle the feelings consuming you alive.

Your body moved over to the large mirrors above the sink, eyes wandering over the black lace dress that landed mid thigh. You always thought made you look good. Now you thought it made you look depressed, the fabric climbing halfway up your neck and covering the entirety of your arms, it hugging your hollow figure too tight to hide any imperfections you thought you had. It was a stark contrast to the lilac strapless number Camie had gone with. It only amplified how different you both were, neither bad, but one clearly superior in the eyes of Bakugou.

It was a terrible feeling to watch yourself be replaced. Of course you were never the one who filled Bakugou’s heart, but Camie was slowly taking your place in every other way. She was whose pictures covered his walls and whose presents littered his shelves. She was who he sang songs to late at night over the phone and she was the one who kept his attention when she was in the room. You were becoming more obsolete every second she became more relevant.

After a quick splash of water and a few deep breathes, you adjusted your body to stand up straight, hair pulled half back up off your face for once. You slowly pushed the heavy bathroom door open, giving yourself a mental pep talk as you exited the hallway towards the backroom, aware of the eery silence that filled your ears. Why did it make your skin crawl to hear so little chatter?

You scrunched your face up just as you entered the room, confused as to why Bakugou and Camie were standing and no one was speaking, Bakugou’s back to you and Camie’s eyes flickering to yours for a second, before focusing back on him. That was when his body sunk down to the floor and onto one knee, your body halting all movement.

This wasn’t happening.

This couldn’t be happening.

But it was.

Right before your very eyes were you watching Bakugou Katsuki crush the very last piece of you.

Gasps filled the air along with excited squeals as he looked up at her, Camie’s delicate hand lifting up to her mouth and covering it in shock, her own eyes filling with tears just as yours were, only hers were of happiness and yours most definitely were not. You saw his reflection in the mirror on the wall, his hands holding open the same velvet box you’d found a few days before, the ring sparkling under the faint light. The world felt like it stopped spinning, your lungs stopping all functions as his eyes met yours in the reflection for just a second, his firm expressing softening for just a second before his eyes tore away from yours, the words flying past his lips without a second thought.

“Camie, will you marry me?”

Hearing the words out loud was the final snip to the string holding you together. Everything began to crumble apart inside you, your cool exterior melting away. Her friends had all burst into cooing and clapping at her exclaimed yes, your body the only one unmoving while the girls all rushed over to see her ring. Your feet started carrying you backwards, your eyes burning and blurry as you saw his body turn towards yours for just a glance. Camie gripped at his arm and pulled him tight to her side as her friends all congratulated them, everyone fawning over them.

Kaminari was staring at Bakugou, then at you, then back at Bakugou, Kirishima complacently beside him looking unimpressed. Todoroki was already moving towards you, pushing past the crowd around them to get to you as you backed up out of the room, whipping around to leave. Your body pushed forward, bumping into a waiter and spilling a drink on yourself but you didn’t stop, rushing out the front doors uncaring about the scene you were causing.

You burst out the front and felt your resolve crumble completely, your body collapsing forward as you stumbled out and a choked sob ripped from your throat. You couldn’t hide it anymore, you didn’t care if it was selfish, you couldn’t pretend you were okay. You weren’t okay, you were so damn far from okay.

The air was filled with the sounds of your loud crying, your entire body shaking as you looked around for somewhere to go, some sign of what to do, struggling to breathe. All you could see in your head was Bakugou down on his knee in front of her and his voice repeating over and over.

He was everywhere, you couldn’t escape him. He was in your head making it hazy and in your eyes making them burn and boil over. He was in your lungs squeezing your airway til it was crushed and nothing could pass through. He was in your very nerves making sure you felt each and every touch he’d ever given you then ripped away. He was in your heart tearing out every last string holding it together until you snapped. You couldn’t do it anymore, it hurt too much.

You struggled to stay standing, seeing spots of black as you tried to stretch straighter. The door behind you opened but you were too weak to turn away. A pair of firm arms enveloped you and that only seemed to make your next wave of tears so much stronger. They were spilling down your cheeks and wetting your flushed skin, the cool wind blowing making your cheeks feel frozen.

You gripped at the strong body’s shirt and bawled into the chest, nostrils flared and mouth wide as you tried to get in oxygen. Your eyes screwed tightly shut as you blocked out the sound of the world around you. You recognized the feel of the hand stroking your hair and dug your nails into his back.

“I love him, Todoroki.” You sobbed, the words coming out choppy, trembling lips having difficulty forming the syllables. “I love him so fucking much.”

“I know.” Todoroki whispered, his grip around you growing more firm as he lifted you off your legs when they went to give out. You’d tried so hard, so so hard to ignore your feelings and you just couldn’t anymore.

You were never going to be his first choice. You were never going to get to hold him and kiss him and tell him how much you loved him. You were never going to be his entire world like he had been yours. Camie was, perfect Camie who had everything you didn’t, and now she had him too.

“Why doesn’t he love me? Why does he love her and not me?” You croaked, arms constricting around his shoulders as his hands gripped below your thighs to keep you steady. “Why am I not enough?”

Todoroki didn’t say anything, his thumbs pressing soft circles into your skin as he kissed his heart shaped lips into your forehead. You bit down hard on your bottom lip to try and hold back the screams you wanted to let out. You tasted metal and released it, using a hand to wipe the tears and snot off your face to no avail. Your eyes wouldn’t quit flowing, like a busted pipe that had been blocked up for years and finally sprung free.

Everything was falling from your lips too fast for you to comprehend, every coherent thought spilling out in cries too loud for such a public space but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, this had been a long time coming.

“I tried so hard to be happy for him. I tried so hard.  Nothing I do is making it any easier, it hurts to look at him. I hurts to think about him, I just want it all to stop. “ You faintly felt one of his hands leave your thigh, the other hand sliding across your backside to stop you from falling to the ground. You heard keys and lifted your head slightly to see he was carrying you to his car parked near by, your voice muffling when you laid your head down against his chest. “I can’t do it anymore.”

His hands slid off your body as he leaned you into the door on your own two feet, a hand on your hip to make sure you wouldn’t fall, before turning toward the door to unlock it. Your crying was subsiding but the ache in your chest was only growing. The tears started coming back however when you heard the door of the restaurant open and footsteps rushing your way.

Bakugou was jogging towards the pair of you, Kaminari hot on his trail and you felt your whole body start to seize again, the tears returning tenfold as you covered your face with your hands, turning into Todoroki as he moved to cover you from Bakugou’s worried figure.

“I’m taking her home, she doesn’t feel well so just go back inside, okay? Go celebrate.” You could make out Todoroki’s words despite the way you were hiccuping as you tried to choke back your crying. Even when you were having a breakdown you didn’t want Bakugou to know, you didn’t want to ruin his night. You wanted to smack yourself for caring so much.

“Shut up, Todoroki.” Bakugou snapped, trying to get around Todoroki who was unmoving. Bakugou’s hand reached out to touch your arm, but you flinched away, turning your back to him and facing the car as your knees shook, hand clamping over your mouth to keep your crying silent. “Please look at me, please? Please talk to me, stop shutting me out. Please?”

The concerned begging made it worse, he was the reason you were like this. Had he just proposed tonight to make sure your heart was broken as possible? Did he love to be the one to make you miserable? Did he make sure you were there to see it so you wouldn’t keep thinking maybe he could love you too?

“Fucking go inside Bakugou, you’re making it worse.” Todoroki snapped and his figure tensed behind you. Your back shook with each gasp for air you took, vaguely seeing Kaminari touch Bakugou’s shoulder in the rear-view mirror.

“Katsu, cmon. She doesn’t want to talk to you right now.” Kaminari’s unusually soft voice met your ears, the only one who seemed to be calm in the entire situation, though when his eyes met your reflection in the mirror, his face screamed concern. Whether it was for you or the distraught Bakugou you weren’t sure.

“Will you both fucking shut up and let her speak for herself!” Bakugou snapped, the sound of his feet moving making you clam up, his figure coming around Todoroki who was still trying to block Bakugou from seeing you. The moment Bakugou’s face met yours from over Todoroki’s shoulder, his entire face fell, your own twisting in anguish as you started crying harder again, looking away from him.

“Why..” He started quietly, his hands lifting as if to reach out for you but Todoroki smacked them down, yanking open the car door so you could get inside, effectively creating a barrier between the two of you.

“Because you’re an idiot, Bakugou.” Todoroki sighed, shutting the door once you were inside and instantaneously muffling the voices outside the door. You chest was trembling with every inhale you took, hands shaking as you dug your nails into your thighs and squeezed your eyes shut. Everything you had was broken, everything felt ruined and tarnished and sick.

You didn’t feel like you anymore and you didn’t think you’d ever feel right again, not now. Not now that you saw him choose her right before your very eyes. Right after he looked at you did he shatter everything you’d been so desperately hoping for. Your heart you had so willingly given him he tossed to the ground and smashed under his expensive shoes, then crushed the pieces to dust so they could never be put back together. He did it all with five short, little words.

You couldn’t love someone who wouldn’t ever love you, not anymore.

When you dared to glance out the window you could see Todoroki coming towards the driver’s side door, Kaminari trying to tug Bakugou toward the restaurant. Bakugou’s eyes were glued onto your tinted window, not listening to a thing the taller boy said, a pained expression on his face that paled in comparison to the agony in your chest.

Camie’s head came out from the doors, concern painted on her features as she slipped between Kaminari and Bakugou, her arms sliding around her fiance and hugging him. Her ring glittering in the nighttime lighting made you tear your eyes away, the car moving finally and taking you away from there. You shivered but you weren’t sure if it was from the temperature or from your heart rate.

You felt empty, even as the tears fell silently down your cheeks and slid onto the dress that bunched around your thighs. Your heart was gone and your lungs were empty and your brain was consumed with all the things Bakugou had ever done that made you hurt the most. You heard his voice telling you she was the one. You felt his fingers rubbing into your palm as he held your hand and his lips pressing into your cheek. You saw him kissing her and holding her and getting down on one knee. You felt everything he’d ever done that made your heart ache, and all you could do was sit there and take it.

Bakugou wasn’t yours anymore.

He never was in the first place.

And you were an idiot for ever thinking he could be.

Todoroki’s hand wrapped around your knee, rubbing the ice cold skin as you chewed on the inside of your cheek, willing yourself to just breathe. You took slow, deep inhales through your flared nostrils, body twitching from the erratic cries your body was still producing.

“It’s okay. You’re gonna be okay.” Todoroki’s gentle tone fell on your deaf ears, your nails digging into your thighs so hard they left angry red scratches in their wake. It felt like the earth was opening up and swallowing you whole. You swallowed hard, eyelids falling shut as you tipped your head to the side so it rested against the cool window.

You lifted your legs up, his hand slipping away as they bent in front of you on the leather seat, your arms wrapping around them. You had goosebumps risen along your calves, your body slouching into the door. You could see your face in the rear view mirror when you opened you eyes, your complexion gaunt and eyelids rimmed in smeared black.  Little grey streaks were spread across your face from the wind blown tears mixing with your watered down mascara, your lip swollen from biting down so hard. You looked like you had finally given up, like nothing in the world could take away the pain in your heart.

“I don’t think I am, Sho.” You whispered, voice cracking as you let your eyes slip back shut “Not this time.”

[crowleesi]

Devil Doesn’t Sleep

Recommended music: Delicate Weapon - Grimes, Lizzy Wizzy

Jackie is dead.

Johnny is gone.

V feels completely alone, and seeks comfort in the only man that makes her feel alive.

Read on ao3 here!

***

Every night was the same.

Dark. Quiet. Empty.

It had been two weeks. Two weeks since Alt had saved her life. Two weeks since she had lost Johnny.

And every goddamn night since, she lay on her bed, unable to sleep, reliving the events that led her to where she was now. 

The fucking heist that lost V her best friend. The biochip that almost killed her. Johnny Silverhand setting up camp inside her head. The relentless fighting at Arasaka. The final encounter with Alt and Johnny in Cyberspace. All of it replayed in V's mind, over and over. Every single night, images swarmed behind her closed eyes, sounds swam around her apartment, forcing her to relive it all. 

V sighed, rolling onto her back. She looked across her empty apartment, lit only from the neon lights outside of her window. God, it was so fucking quiet.

Jackie's voice. His laugh. His dying words. The tears in his eyes and faint smile on his lips as he whispered Misty's name. The blood.

God, the blood.

She screwed her eyes shut, bringing her hands up to press her palms against her eyes.

She waited for Johnny's voice, his presence, anything - but it never came. Her hands fell to her bare chest, a heaviness squeezing her heart. She was alone. So fucking alone. A lump formed in her throat. She swallowed it down.

She felt like she'd tried everything. Any time she finally managed to drift off, she'd startle awake, shaking, sweating, struggling to catch her breath.

She was exhausted. She hadn't worked since it all happened. She'd taken it easy - Misty's advice. She'd even tried meditating, but it only allowed the scenes in her head to become clearer, the voices louder. Earlier this evening, she'd turned off all the lights, left her radio playing quietly. She'd had a long, hot shower, most of which she’d spent sitting on the floor, leaning against the tiled wall, knees pulled up to her chest. When the water ran cold, she'd reached up to shut it off and remained there, staring at the water draining away, until she was shivering and sought the comfort of a fluffy towel. 

She was trying to adjust to life without Jackie. Without Johnny. She was the first to admit he was a colossal fucking pain in the ass, but… she didn’t expect anyone to understand the relationship they’d developed. The oneness they’d shared. She felt so fucking alone without him; it was too quiet in her head now. She still had those close to her - Panam and the Aldecaldos, Judy, Kerry, Misty… and above all, she had Viktor Vektor - but none of them could ease the numbness she felt now that Johnny was gone. None of them except Viktor, at least.

She thought of the night she woke up on his table, mere hours from certain death. He could barely look at her and he was so fucking angry. He'd told her to figure her shit out, to fix it, his anger laced with worry as he’d turned his back to her with a heavy sigh. She remembered how painful the sharpness of his words were. She’d picked up the gun he’d laid out for her, slipped the pills into her pocket and glanced at him before turning away. As she'd reached the gate of the clinic, he'd said her name. Her real name. She'd turned back to him, heart in her throat, and he was leaning his clenched fists on the desk, head hung.

He'd said, "You come back to me, y'hear?" and looked up when she didn't answer. She'd limped back over to him, and he'd looked down at her with a furrowed brow and clenched jaw. She'd touched his shoulder, gently turning him to face her as he stood upright. She’d reached up to stroke his cheek, and his eyes had softened; she'd slid her hand round to the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss. He'd been stiff for a moment, before relaxing into her and bringing his large hands up to hold her face firmly against his. Vik had parted his lips and kissed her again, tilting his head a little, his mouth moving slowly and tenderly. In that moment, with V so close to death and sharing her first kiss with the man she loved, she knew she had to come back. She had to come back for him. She'd pulled away, nuzzled her nose against his, whispering a promise to return before leaving. They hadn't brought it up since.

She thought of the way he'd stared at her, wide eyed and dumbfounded, when she'd stumbled back into his clinic a few days later; free of Johnny, free of impending death, mere hours after it was all over. 

“It’s done,” She’d said, and Vik had staggered to his feet.

“The chip?”

“Gone.” 

“And you-” He’d swallowed hard. “You’re okay?” 

“Alt,” She’d said with a weary smile. “She saved me.”

Vik had nodded slowly, staring at her before dropping the equipment in his hands and rushing over to her, wrapping her up in his arms and holding her tight. He'd pressed his face into her neck, breathing shakily, mumbling against her skin that he knew she'd come back. She'd threaded her fingers through his hair, breathing him in, her heart swelling and fluttering and damn near ready to burst through her chest. He'd pulled away slightly, their noses brushing, staring at her with pure disbelief in his eyes. He'd cupped her face in his hands, parting his lips to say something when Misty had come flying in through the door, throwing herself at V's back, tears flowing freely as the three of them hugged. 

She missed the feeling of his strong arms around her, especially now as she lay alone, unable to sleep.

She reached for her phone, the background a picture of herself, Jackie, Misty and Viktor. Misty was sitting on Jackie's lap, taking the selfie with an arm stretched out to get Viktor and V behind them. V had jumped onto Vik's back, arms around his neck, grinning from ear to ear and Jackie had his eyebrow raised, a devilish smirk on his handsome face. Tears filled V's eyes and she blinked them away, gaze returning to the man in the back.

Vik.

Her thumb traced his smiling face, and before she knew what she was doing, she was opening her messages.

V: You up?

She stared at the screen, a hopefulness curling in her gut as she waited. The message appeared as 'read', but no reply came. She placed the phone face down beside her, looking over to the dreamcatcher, a gift from Misty, that hung above her bed. 

Then, a call came through on the holo. It was Viktor.

"Hey, kid." 

"Hey." She replied weakly,  sitting up, bringing her knees up to cover her bare chest. His head tilted a little.

"You all right?" His voice was gentle, laced with concern. She could see he was in his clinic, despite the late hour.

"Yeah," she said unconvincingly. "Can't sleep." She paused and he smiled sympathetically. "You workin'?"

"Had a patient come in as I was closin' up shop. Sent him on his way just now." She nods.

"Can you, uh," The words suddenly died in her throat. Was it too much to ask of him? He looked tired. She swallowed. "Can you come over?" He smiled.

"Gimme 10." He said, and V let out the breath she didn't realise she was holding.

“Thanks, Vik.” She offered him a small smile, which he returned.

“Sure thing. Be there soon.” She ended the call, breathing out slowly, looking across her apartment.

Dark. Quiet. Empty. 

She shook her head, swinging her legs over the edge of her bed, reaching for a cropped t-shirt and pulling it over her head. She picked up her cigarette case - a sleek, metallic design that Judy had gifted her - and put one between her lips, lighting the end and inhaling as she got to her feet. Leaning against her window, she blew out the smoke, trying to ignore the numb feeling curling in her gut. Vik was coming; she wouldn’t be alone for much longer. She got lost watching the neon lights outside of the megabuilding, feeling like she’d stepped outside of herself, so much so that she almost didn’t hear the buzzer ring out at her apartment door. Stubbing out her cigarette, she dropped her cigarette case on the table in front of the couch and headed over to the door, waving her hand over the sensor. Light from outside of the apartment poured in, and she squinted against it, stepping aside to let the tall figure come inside.

"Hey, sweetheart." Vik stepped in, kissing the top of her head. She closed her eyes for a moment, breathing him in, and looked up at him when he nudged her arm with a coffee cup. She gratefully accepted, thanking him with a tired smile before taking a sip, turning to head across the apartment to the sunken couch as he slipped off his jacket. His eyes trailed over the small section of her back that was visible between the bottom of her cropped t-shirt and the top of her underwear, down the gorgeous curve of her hips and her slender legs. He tore his gaze away, throwing his jacket over the back of the chair at her desk.

V settled down on the couch, sipping the coffee, humming as the deliciously warm liquid slid down to her stomach. Vik sat beside her, one leg tucked under the other to face her as he lay his arm across the back of the couch. She fought the urge to reach out and grab his hand, instead taking another sip of her coffee.

"So,” He said gently. “What’s goin’ on?” He waited patiently as she set her coffee down on the table and picked up her cigarette case, pulling one out and sticking it between her lips. She held the case out to Vik and he took one, leaning in when V flicked the lighter and held it out to him. She lit her own, inhaled deeply and blew out the smoke, leaning her elbow on the back of the couch and resting her head on her hand.

"I don't know how to move on from any of this." She says finally. "I miss him." She takes another drag of her cigarette.

"Jackie?" Vik asks, and V shakes her head.

"I mean, yes," She says, blowing out the smoke. "Of course I miss him."

"So… you mean Johnny?" V nods.

"He was a part of me, Vik," She says, almost pleading for him to understand. "He was always with me and now that he's gone, I-" she cuts herself off, a lump forming in her throat.

She takes a drag of her cigarette, hand shaking as she pulls it away and squeezes the bridge of her nose with her fingers. He laid his hand gently on her arm, an anchor, and she leaned into his touch.

"I can't explain the connection we had." She says. "It's like we were one person, y'know?" Vik nods. "He was a fuckin' asshole. God, he was infuriating,” She smiled sadly. “But… we understood each other, I think. He fought for me, in the end. Made sure Alt fixed me and sent me back in one piece." She leaned over to stub her cigarette out in the ashtray, sighing as she sat back on the couch.

“I feel so... lonely,” She says quietly, and Vik tilts his head to the side a little. “It’s so quiet without him. And then I think about Jackie-" Her voice cracks, then, and she swallows the lump in her throat, tears filling her eyes.

“Hey,” Vik discards his cigarette before shuffling closer and pulling her legs over his lap, reaching a hand up to stroke her hair. “It’s okay, V.”

She can’t bring herself to look at him. She’d never allowed herself to cry in front of anyone - not at Jackie’s ofrenda, and not after Panam had dropped her off at Vik's clinic, when it was all over; even then she hadn't cried. She'd just let herself get lost in the safety of his embrace, breathing him in. It wasn't until she'd gone home later that night that the gravity of it all hit her like a ton of fucking bricks and she'd broken down, crying like she'd never cried in her life. All of the grief she'd held inside poured out of her, and she’d cried until her throat was raw, her eyes were sore and she was heaving into the toilet.

“Jackie was family.” She whispered, a tear sliding down her cheek. She quickly wipes it away, staring across the apartment. “And I-” She screwed her eyes shut, bringing a hand up to cover her face, silently begging for the images to get out of her head. “I watched him die.” Vik clenched his jaw, gently running his knuckles over her tear stained cheek.

“Sometimes it feels like everything is just… pressing down so hard on my chest,” She said, gesturing to herself. “And I can barely breathe, and,” She paused, voice shaking. She inhaled sharply, letting out a shuddering breath and whispered, “It’s fucking unbearable.”

Vik remained quiet, watching her, brow furrowed in concern as he held her knees against his chest. She took a deep breath, the heaviness clutching her heart forcing the lump straight back into her throat again. Her bottom lip was quivering, and she sniffed, wiping her eyes.

“But then there’s you,” She said suddenly, looking down at the floor and Vik’s hand hesitates on her cheek for a moment. “The only person that makes me feel like I can take a fucking breath.” He considered her for a moment, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"What are you saying?" He asked tentatively, and V looked at him, tears brimming in her eyes.

"I'm saying that if I lost you too, that's just not something I could fucking survive, Vik." 

"V," he whispered, thumb tracing her jaw. "I ain't goin' anywhere." She leans into his touch, closing her eyes and reaching up with both hands to cup his own. A warmth enveloped her heart, then, and she sighed, letting her breathing return to normal. 

"Stay with me?" She asked, opening her eyes. He smiled, pulling her hands towards his lips. He kissed her knuckles, stroking them with his thumbs.

“Of course.” She watched him for a moment, before a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips and she thanked him as she got to her feet.

"I'll be back in a sec." She said, squeezing his hand before letting go. "Make yourself comfortable." She gestured to her bed and headed to the bathroom. She leaned against the sink, looking at herself in the mirror. For a moment, she half expected Johnny to appear behind her, and something twisted in her gut at the thought. She sighed, turning on the faucet and cupping her hands underneath the water. She leaned down, splashing the water over her face and around her neck, closing her eyes and breathing deeply.

Johnny’s gone, she told herself. He’s not coming back.

V grabbed a towel, patting her face and neck, glancing one more time at the mirror before tossing the towel down and switching off the light, heading out of the bathroom. Stepping back into the dark space that didn’t feel so empty anymore, she looked over to find Vik sitting on the edge of her bed, resting his arms on his knees, looking out of the window. His shoes sat on the floor beside him, his shirt and tank top folded up on top. She’d never seen him without his signature ripperdoc attire, and swallowed at the sight of his bare chest, broad and firm and thoroughly inviting. His boxing glove necklace hung over his clavicle, the light from outside bouncing off of the golden charm.

She stood in front of him, and Vik looked up at her, his stomach in knots. Fuck, he thought. She’s so beautiful. Her long, dark hair hung over her shoulder in messy waves; the cropped white t-shirt she wore hugged her chest, exposing her navel, and the sight of soft skin disappearing underneath lacy underwear left his head spinning. The lights of Night City cast a blue hue over her dark apartment, with pink neon lighting the side of her body, caressing every curve of her gorgeous form.

"There she is," he said quietly, shuffling back a little and holding out his hand. "C'mere, sweetheart." V positively fucking melted as she took his hand, allowing him to guide her down as she knelt either side of his hips, straddling his lap. She sat back on his knees, hands tentatively on his chest, and his large hands gently stroked the small of her back.

"I'm gonna be with you through it all, all right?" He said, and she slid her hands up around his neck, resting her arms lazily over his shoulders, fingers stroking the hair at the top of his neck. "However long it takes, whatever it takes. You don't have to do this alone."

V suddenly thought of their first kiss - their only kiss - and wondered how the hell two weeks had passed since she felt his lips against her own. Her heart was swelling in her chest at his earnest words, and sighed, the love she had for him filling her up and forcing every negative thought out of her head.

"Vik, I-" She cut herself off, unable to tear her eyes away from his own. He smiled, warm and genuine and full of love. She slid a hand around to cup his cheek, tracing her thumb over his lips, and he turned his face into her hand, kissing her palm. Her heart absolutely soared.

"I…" She said again, and he looked up at her. She'd never said the words. He waited patiently, hands sliding round to her thighs, stroking the soft skin gently. V found herself leaning in, nuzzling his nose with her own, a gorgeous smile lighting up his face as she pressed her lips against his. God, she wished she could stay here, like this, forever. Nothing had ever felt so right in her entire life. She felt the grief, the pain, all of it wash away with every brush of his lips against her own.

She pulled away suddenly, throwing caution to the wind.

"I love you." He pulled back, considered her, and said nothing. Her cheeks flushed and she was just about ready for the ground to swallow her whole, when he chuckled.

"Well, I'll be damned," he said, and she smiled nervously. "I love you, too, V."

She heaved a sigh of relief, dropping her head onto his shoulder as he laughed - a truly glorious sound - and wrapped his arms around her back.

"How could I not, hm?" He said, and she sat back. He tucked her hair behind her ear, pulling her in for another kiss, running his thumb across her jaw. It was a sweet kiss - slow, soft, loving. Vik pulled away, smiling up at her, and kissed her once more.

"Waddya say we try to get some sleep?" He asked, and V nodded.

"Okay." He scooted back on the bed, one arm wrapped around V's middle, bringing her with him as he clumsily laid back. She couldn't help the giggle that escaped her lips, a sound that made Vik's heart positively fucking ache with adoration. They settled on the pillows, facing each other, and Vik's glasses tilted off his nose. V tentatively pulled them away from his face, breath hitching in her throat when she was met with a sea of gorgeous turquoise. She’d never seen him without his glasses before, and reached blindly behind her to set his glasses on top of his clothes. She traced the outline of his face, her gaze locked onto his eyes, and smiled.

"You're beautiful." She said suddenly, and Vik laughed, his cheeks turning a delicate shade of pink. "Viktor Vektor, are you blushing?" He snorted as he buried his face into the pillow. V couldn't help but grin, and the ripperdoc's eyes returned to her own, cracking a smile that made her dizzy.

"Not somethin' I've ever been told," he said, and V smiled, running her fingers through his hair. Vik watched her, his hand absentmindedly stroking her hip. Her eyes soon grew tired, and she shuffled closer to him, burying her face into his chest, tangling her legs with his own. He wrapped her up in his arms, stroking her hair.

"Feelin' any better?" He asked quietly, and felt her nod, humming against his chest. She yawned, and he smiled, kissing the top of her head.

“Night, sweetheart.”

[factual-fantasy]

I gots 20 more asks for yalls :}

That’s so something he’d try, but of course everyone around him would stop him because duh, that’s a sure way to lose a finger. XD

Oh, I’m sorry, but due to my energy levels being through the floor, I’m not really taking requests at this time.. <:{

Happy new year to you too! I uh.. wish I could say I did heh..

Thank you! However uh.. I don’t think I’m going to be up for drawing anyone's suggestions. My energy has been completely drained lately and I have no energy to draw anything other than things I personally really want to.

I’m not usually one for live action movies, or particularly scary ones for that matter. But I’ll keep that one in mind. :}

Wh-where you goin?? I didn’t get to say I love you too!

Hi, thank you, glad to hear that you like my headcannons. :}

Although unfortunately I don’t have much to say about what I think would happen after the incident. :{

Perhaps the crew would be a little shaken after hearing about Pesos broken flipper? Injuries like that are a big deal, Peso is basically completely out of commission until he recovers. And that might stress the crew out a bit, you know, not having their medic firing on all cylinders for a while.

And I feel like Peso would have to teach some of the crew, like Kwazii and the Captain some extended first aid because no one knew what to do with his broken flipper. He would have to teach the crew first aid and some other important things because he cant always be there for them when something goes wrong.

I feel like it would bug the Captain somehow as well that Peso broke his arm. Like, he’s the Captain, how did he let this happen? Even though the situation couldn’t be helped, I feel like he’d still feel guilty over it all somehow.

Kwazii would probably hover around Peso a lot too. He’d be so worried for his little buddy and would want to constantly check up on him. He’d probably play games with him, talk, do puzzles, whatever, just to keep the little guy company and help him feel better. Because despite how calm Peso seemed when it was first broken, I feel like it would freak him out later in. I know I would be too scared to move or even look at my arm if I broke it. Just the knowledge that the bones inside my arm are all screwed up would freak me out too much to do anything.

With Peso, I feel like he was calm because he was on a bit if an adrenalin rush, and after he calmed down I bet it really start to hurt. That could be why Kwazii spent so much time with him, he was just upset and hurting and just wanted someone to hang out with him until he got better.

A lot of artists seem to like fanart for some reason. I personally don’t..

It feels kind’a like you stole my character or idea and decided that you were going to do what ever you wanted with it. Which I know isn’t the case but that’s just how it feels.

It doesn't feel like a gift, it just feels like you stole something from me you know?

Fanart just doesn’t feel good to me, I cant understand why some artists like it. And I don’t understand why I don’t like it either, it just feels bad for some reason. Me not liking fanart is why I urge people to make sure the artist is okay with fanart before you draw something for them. <:}

Thank you, its nice to hear that you actually wanted to get all caught up heh.. Yeah I guess I started drawing a bunch of Octonauts stuff out of no where huh? When times get this low you just kind’a slink away into your comfort shows right? S’all normal.

As for going through a rough time? I sure am, we all are. I thought it was rough a few weeks ago, but now things have just come crashing down on me, and I cant even talk about it on here.

Thank you very much for all the kind words and encouragement! I really appreciate it, that’s just what I needed to hear. <:} ❤

I watched it, and man I cant wait to see what they do with that new gup! 

I was going to leave a link to the video here, but when I tried to go to the link you sent me the video had been removed..

As someone who is terrified of bees and other bugs, they better not come back.

Aww thank you! I’m very glad you like what I make! :}

I use FireAlpaca. Its a free art program that is simple enough that beginners can get the hang of digital art pretty easily, but has enough features to make some really complicated pieces. I’ve seen that you can even animate with it although I’ve never really gotten the hang of it..

Its got its weird quirks and there are a few annoying buggy things here and there that take some getting used to, but overall 8/10 would recommend. :}

Its interesting, although I don’t personally hold it as one of my headcannons, I have no issue with anyone that does. :}

Aww thank you, so far its been.. well terrible, but uh. hoping for a brighter future.. 

As for how they’d react to rain? Hmm..

I had this idea that the first time Bulkhead experienced rain he was out somewhere with Miko goofing around. It started to rain and at first Miko was just annoyed, thinking she’d have to go back to the base.

But then Bulkhead out of no where starts to flip out, he scoops up Miko, transforms and speeds away, all the while clearly having some kind of panic attack. He races to a nearby cliff and rushes into a little cave for cover. He’s rattling and is asking Miko questions like, “A-Are you okay? Did it get you?- W-We’re you burned??” Miko gets him to chill out a little and he manages explain why he’s freaking out.

Even after Miko comes out of cover and dances in the rain to show him that its safe, Bulkhead is still too frightened to go out there. He’s spent his whole life being afraid of rain because he knows that it burns you and can even kill you if you’re in it for too long.. So even though he’s being shown right before his optics that, clearly, its safe. That primal fear of rain is too much for him and he doesn’t move. 

They eventually called for a ground bridge and Bulkhead bolted through the rain and raced through it. He told the other bots about rain and how Miko claims that its safe on this planet, but that still didn’t stop them from experiencing that same primal fear when they came into contact with rain themselves.

There was supposed to be another time when Ratchet and Arcee were taking the kids home from the Base. Arcee had Jack and Ratchet had Miko and Raf.

They were almost into town when It started to trickle. Jack was surprised that it was going to rain in Jasper of all places, but he was also annoyed because he was going to get wet. But then Arcee and Ratchet both hit the brakes and freeze up. “Did you feel that?” Jacks about to ask “feel what?” when Ratchet says “Yeah, yeah I did..” Raf asked Ratchet what is wrong, but then the rain really picked up. Out of no where Ratchet starts freaking out, “RAIN!! GET TO COVER!!” Arcee and Ratchet Floor it for town. 

They rush into town and find cover in a run down gas station that’s on the edge of town. Ratchet’s alt form is literally shaking and Arcee is really freaking out. Both of their primal fears making them forget that rain is safe on this planet.

“Are you okay? Jack? Ratchet? How bad are your burns?“ Jacks just like “huh??” But Ratchet goes “I-I don’t know, I don’t feel anything yet, were you burned?” Jack tries to say something but Arcee goes, “No I don’t think so, Jack gave me cover, are you alright Jack? Were you burned?” Finally Jack gets a moment to talk and asks what the heck is going on. They explain that on their planet rain is acidic, Jack then stands in the rain to prove that its okay, but just like Bulkhead they’re still scared.

Miko gets out and jumps around in the rain to show that its safe while Raf tries to explain to them that its really only water. They’re both not convinced and stay put. Raf gets out, cups his hands together and collects some rain water. He brings the water up to Arcee and Ratchet to show them that its just water. He even drinks some of it to prove that its really okay and not acid.

This convinces Arcee and she slowly inches out into the rain, eventually managing to get into it. Although she’s still nervous, after realizing that its safe she encourages Ratchet to follow suit,

Ratchet manages to inch his way out too and they both shakily take the kids back home. They come back to base and tell everyone their story, but again, that fear of the rain cant be reasoned with right away. It takes a bot to experience it personally to help them realize that this planets rain is harmless.

With Bumblebee and Smokescreen it could’ve been just like Bulkhead. Out with one of the kids, it starts to rain, the bot panics and the kid calms them down and explains that its just water. With Optimus, I feel like a human wouldn’t have been around to explain it to him. There could have been a time where he was out on a solo mission and it began to rain.

Like every other bot, Optimus has this instinct to hide from the rain, so he does and finds cover. He contacts Ratchet and tells him the situation, Ratchet tells him that he’s been in the rain before and it shouldn’t hurt him. Optimus is still nervous but he steps out from undercover, sees that its okay and moves on without really mentioning it to anyone back at base. The very same thing could’ve happened to Ultra Magnus later on now that I think about it..

With Wheeljack? Imagine him, Bulkhead and Miko were out driving somewhere, Miko is with Bulk and Jackie is following behind them. It starts to rain and it freaks Bulkhead out a little but he’s mostly okay, Miko reminding him that its harmless. Meanwhile Jackie slams on the gas and swerves off the road into the forest. Clearly no one told him that Earths rain isn’t acidic.

Bulkhead follows him and finds him in his alt form rattling and tucked really tightly underneath a big tree. They’re trying to talk to him and get him to relax but he’s clearly stressed out. Miko climbs out, goes up to him and manages to talk him down. Explaining that Earth is different than Cybertron, and that their rain is not toxic or acidic. Its just water. He calms down enough to come out of hiding but he’s still clearly on edge. He sticks close to Bulkhead and doesn’t talk much for the rest of their trip.

I feel like all transformers, con or bot, had a freaking out over rain moment at some point. Except for soundwave probably, I think he’d feel a liquid falling on him from the sky and not react because it doesn't hurt.

“The Octonauts is a British children's television series, produced by Silvergate Media for the BBC channel CBeebies, and based on the children's books written by Vicki Wong and Michael C. Murphy.

The show follows an underwater exploring crew made up of stylized anthropomorphic animals, a team of eight adventurers who live in an undersea base, the Octopod, from which they go on undersea adventures with the help of a fleet of aquatic vehicles.

Although its technology is fictional, the exotic creatures and locations that the crew encounter are based on real marine animals in their natural habitats. The show's subject matter has been compared to that of Star Trek and Thunderbirds blended with Jacques Cousteau. The show was animated in Ireland by Brown Bag Films for its first four series. The show was renewed for a fifth series in 2018, with Canada's Mainframe Studios taking over animation work.

Two new "movies" have been available on Netflix only since October 2020: The Octonauts and the Caves of Sac Actun (which takes place in a cenote in Mexico) and Octonauts and the Great Barrier Reef (a musical)”

I feel like this quote from the Octonauts wiki does a better job of explaining it than I ever could. :}

I feel sorry for the poor thing. <:{

It was a Gup destined for greatness someday, but because of unfortunate circumstances it was converted into an artificial reef.

Its just like the old Octopod. Destined for greatness, just imagine all the adventures that ship could’ve had with the crew.. But because sea creatures got to it before they could, it was doomed to a life of darkness at the bottom of the ocean. 

I feel bad for those poor Gups and other mechs that just didn’t make it.. 😔

No I still have some bread left over, here  (╯°▽°)╯🍞 Sorry, it might be a wee bit stale.

Oh I bet he gets hurt all the time and tries to play it of a bit so he can keep running around. Usually he does something stupid and gets hurt and he’s too embarrassed to really go to Peso about it. Or sometimes the injury would seem insignificant to him or the pain is tolerable enough that he thinks it’ll just go away eventually.

Maybe Kwazii doesn’t really avoid Peso’s care on purpose? Maybe he could have a high pain tolerance? Like, imagine he does something kind’a dumb and as a result gets his arm got stick under the Gup-B or something. When he frees himself his arm does hurt a bit, but it looks fine to him so he just thinks “eh”. He figures that the Gup-B isn’t very big or heavy, his arm wasn’t stuck for very long, what could possibly be wrong with it?

He comes back to the Octopod and casually tells the Captain what happened. The Captain seeing Kwazii gritting his teeth and holding his bent out of shape arm like that instantly made him turn right around and go get Peso. Peso wants to examine his arm but Kwazii’s all like, “Nah its fine me hearty, Its probably just some bruising.”

Well, put his arm through an X-ray and turns out what do you know he broke his arm in three places.

And Kwazii’s just as surprised as everyone else that his arm is broken. He’s like, “It was only the Gub-B! Is it really heavy enough to crush my arm??” And the Captains like, “The gup was ON your arm?? Of course that can break it!”

XD I bet Kwazii gives everyone a headache.

Thank you! :} And well, its more innocent than you might think. People have wondered if they were self harm hints or something more dark like that, but really its not that at all.

You see, I’m a bit of a clean freak. I usually wash my hands up to 40 times a day, no exaggeration. I would usually wash my hands with dish soap, which really does a number on your skin.

So, washing my hands 40 times a day with dish soap, plus drawing on paper for several hours a day meant that my hands were so utterly dry that they’d bleed. My hands were always bleeding and covered in Band-Aids like 24/7.

All of this was going on around the time I made my blog and designed my little avatar character. I wanted to give my character something unique, like an accessory of some kind. Like gloves, a watch, a scarf, a bag, something. 

Then I looked at my hands and thought you know? What if this strange aspect of myself was added to my character? Its ominous, its unique, it looks cool.. I think I’ll do that.

So now my avatar has bloodied banged all over its hands. Later on down the road today I try to wash my hands a wee bit less and I lather my hands in lotion religiously now. So my hands are much better and don’t bleed anymore. But those bloodied hands are now like a trademark of my character, so I haven’t removed them,

Although with this new uh, “playful” cat I have, I suppose the Bandages now resemble my real hands once again haha.

I looked it up and I didn’t find any info saying that its common or even normal for cats to have just one baby. So its safe to assume that Kwazii must have had at least a few siblings. As to where they are or what happened to them?. Well..

The life of a pirate is a dangerous one. And I find it odd that with how often he’s mentioned his Grandfather, he’s never mentioned any siblings..

Perhaps... they’re.. you know.. dead? Kwazii’s Grandfather could be the last living member of his family. Which is why if he ever mentions his family or his pirate days, he only ever talks about his Grandpa. Maybe talking about his siblings would be too much for him?..

Man, I gotta polish that into a headcannon or something, that stuff is angsty as crap. Imagine if he was attached to the Octonauts in a way no body really understood? What if his old crew was like his mom, dad, siblings etc, and he mostly became an Octonaut because he had no where else to go after loosing them? Now that his family are all gone and his Grandpa is missing, all he has is this new crew. He would become hyper attached to his new crew and all of his care and tenderness comes from a fear of losing them just like he did his real family. 

[snakemoltsiren]

24. Illustrious

At twenty two years of age, Erembourc Boucher knelt down at their dying mother’s bedside. They neatly smoothed the linens and pulled the blanket up to cover her sharp, thin shoulders. Sitting still and quiet they glanced around the room and picked up the small metal marker resting by the low-flickering lantern. They knew the weight and dimensions of the small icon by touch, having played with it often as a child. Their calloused thumb drug across the word embossed at the top. RESOLUE The frail woman in the bed shifted and sighed and Erembourc frowned, leaning close. The rattle in their mother’s breathing was impossible to miss and had grown deeper with the encroaching winter. Standing up they went to add a log onto the fire, mindful to keep the smoke moving up the chimney rather than letting it drift into the room. Walking back to the bedside they sat on the edge, picking the metal piece back up and resting it on their mother’s chest. “When Allene rushed into the festival square, shouting for the villagers to run into the fields, they did so. The villagers fled in a panic but not from the scythe in Allene’s hand. No, it was the look of rage on the face of a woman they knew for her kindness and calmness that sent them running. And good that they did. For as soon as they were hidden in the fields did a cyclone tear through the abandoned village. And they all would have perished were it not for Allene’s warning. Allene was a farmer and attuned to the fickleness of weather and with the stoutness of her neighbor’s hearts. But sensing the incoming storm, Allene feigned a maddened attack to get them to flee without question, saving their lives. And for her resolve she was raised up as one of Nophica’s blessed saints.” It was more than they had spoken to their mother in years. The knight that laid their hand on her brow was nothing like the child that had left those years ago. “They will not understand. But I hope you do not think poorly of me if I choose to believe that you support my decision.” Leaning over, Erembourc pressed their lips to their mother’s wan forehead. They stay there for a silent moment before standing and arranging the blankets once more. The saint’s card was put back into its place on the bedside table and they pull their feathered cap back onto their short-cropped hair. The bag of coin pressed into the servant’s hand was met with a whispered ‘May the Fury Protect you, Ser’. Erembourc smiled at the caretaker, nodding. The door of the estate was held open by the frowning steward who moved to intercept them. “When your father finds out what you are doing you will be disowned. And there will be no one to blame but yourself, Ser.” The rancor with which that word was said brought an amused quirk to Erembourc’s lips and they reached out, lightly clapping the steward on the shoulder. The man flinched and attempted to pull away but the gloved grasp was too steady. “That is my dearest wish. And may my good father meet his truest reward in the darkest of the hells.” They gave a hat tip that could almost be called jaunty as they strode to the waiting chocobo. Their heart heavy,  and their soul finally lightened. Hares on the Mountain - alt-J

[thathawaiianchick]

my wolfstar fic recc

29 of my favs, plus 2 comics :)

sorted from shortest to longest, series at the bottom

i like long fics, i like raising Harry AUs, i like Lay Low at Lupin’s fics, i like marauder era “we’re 70′s trash fics”, i like angst, but i also love “everybody lives”, kind of a mix of everything but seriously a lot of raising Harry AUs because it fills a need i guess

some super popular, some relative unknowns i think

all fics that characterize wolfstar for me :) 

JKR has disappointed me supremely, but fan works will hold my love forever

 part 2 because i forgot some

STANDALONES

1. A Day Like Any Other by dustmouth

(a comic, not really a fic, just hosted on AO3)

The one where Sirius keeps receiving unwanted mail, Remus drinks a lot of tea, Peter's out on a hot date, and James is offering unwanted make overs.

(Or the answer to the question of exactly how many cursed letters can you flush down the loo).

2. To Keep a Star by dustmouth

(a comic, not really a fic, just hosted on AO3)

Daily life in the Intergalactic Postal Service. Or the one where Sirius is a postal star and Remus lives on a spaceship.

3. in your bedroom, during the war by lupinely

There’s the bed, there’s the room, and there’s Remus. This, at least, Sirius knows for sure. (4Kish)

4. Home We’ll Go by appalachian_fireflies

"I can't, I don't know how," Remus stuttered as Molly dropped the infant into his arms, who immediately ceased crying and stared up at him with wide eyes.

"Nonsense," Molly said. "Be a dear and keep him from falling while I feed Ginny."

"Ba!" Ron giggled, and slapped Remus in the face.

Molly is the emergency contact for the Order when those listed can no longer be reached. Remus' life finds a different path. (10K)

5. A Store of Happiness by coyotesuspect

Harry spends the summer after his third year living with Sirius and Professor Lupin. (10K)

6. In The Bed by bigblackdog

Left to his own devices the summer after the prank, Sirius crafts an unusual gift to mend his relationship with Remus. (11K)

7. Vigil Strange I Kept by whitmans_kiss

Remus' lycanthropy has caused his body to seriously deteriorate over the years due to the constant stress of the transformations, and by his fifty-sixth birthday, it's certain that he won't live to finish out the year. However, a cure has recently been discovered - but what if the cure is just as bad as the disease? (11K)

8. Elucidation Practice by montparnasse

Christmas, 1978. Remus, wrestling with the mighty problems of gift-giving on a budget, contemplates life, love, London in winter, and falling off the edge of the world with Sirius Black. (21K)

9. On a Windswept Cliff by starfishstar

On the cliff top where the fearsome Lord Black once stalked, an outcast man meets a big black dog, and things are not as they seem.

Or: The Remus/Sirius gothic romance AU. (21K)

10. Lethe and Mnemosyne by montparnasse

Winter '79. Looking to get out from under the black-hole overhang of wartime, Sirius and Remus take off to play house on the Cornish moors. It goes downhill from there.  (26K)

11. Purity by FelisA 

Sirius resurrection fic. (27K) 12. Common Woodbrown by imochan

Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there. In 1985, Remus Lupin realizes that Sirius Black is innocent. Now, he just has to prove it. (36K)

13. Wilde and Whimsy by chasing bluefish, obsob

In a world where Dumbledore defeated Voldemort during the first war, the wizarding community is picking up the pieces and getting back to their lives. Remus Lupin becomes a person of interest in a murder at the bookshop where he works and Sirius Black and James Potter, aurors, are sent to investigate. As they navigate the crime itself, Remus and Sirius realize that there is something to their instant chemistry. But they need to keep their newfound attraction under wraps while trying to find the killer and stop them from claiming more victims. (36K)

14. Paper Wings by Krislaughs

(not hosted on ao3)

What if Sirius Black sent a final message from Azkaban? Enter the home of the last Marauder in the days following Voldemort’s downfall. Lost and alone, Remus asks a question of the void, a question whose answer will send him around the world. Meeting puppies, Kneazles, dementors, and nomads, Remus learns more about himself and his friends than he ever thought possible. Learn the secrets of the Marauder’s map and the world’s best chocolate, how various Death Eaters occupied themselves after the fall of their lord, and why you should never leave Remembralls lying around.

15. Uncreated Night by earlybloomingparentheses

Remus can drift through whole worlds in his own mind. Sirius lives in his body, electric, ablaze. In 1979 and 1996 and 1978 and 1981 and in many other years and many different places, they search for the bridges between them and the spaces they can share. Time after time, they fight their way back together, head and heart, mind and body.

And in 1998, Remus stands before the veil, wondering if he should finally stop thinking, and just act. (41.5K)

16. Lemon Chiffon Yellow by Spklvr

An unplanned night between Remus and Tonks ends up changing their lives forever. (42K)

17. The Weather Inside by earlybloomingparentheses

Sirius rides a flying motorbike, and snogs strangers in pubs, and strikes moody poses Remus finds irritatingly attractive. But for Remus, who drinks milky tea and wears flannel pyjamas, there's a chasm cracked right down the fault line between wanting and doing.

How he wants, though. How he wants. (43K)

18. the dogfather by hollimichele

“I’m not a reverse werewolf either,” says the man. “I’m your godfather.”  (47K)

19. Domestic Creatures by veeagainst

Growing up is hard to do -- but the journey is better if you take someone with you. (53K)

20. Leave the Children Behind by montparnasse

Bravery, sometimes, is the ending just as much as the beginning. Remus, Sirius, and a series of choices.

Or, a love story—backwards and forwards. (54K)

21. A Series of Sketches Done in Black Ink by  mustntgetmy

Non-magic AU. Sirius had always imagined the aftermath of falling in love would mean lightness, and an escape from all the horrors of his childhood. But the past never leaves, and even love can't stop bad memories from resurfacing.

An almost year in the life of Sirius and Remus's first year as a couple replete with art and tangled sheets, and containing the following: filled sketchbook pages from people lost and people found, terrible biscuits from an excellent therapist, mismatched music records, expensive hot chocolate, a lost brother, photographs (some invasive and some invoking terrible memories), a reckoning with the past, a promise of the future, and yet another ridiculously over the top Halloween party. (57K)

22. Alt Ed by NachoDiablo

“Remus? Who the bloody hell is Remus?” James is scrambling to straighten his chair as McGonagall glares at him from the head table.

Mary smiles innocently. “Oh, just a new friend that Lily met over the holidays. He’s homeschooled, just moved into her neighborhood it seems. She says he’s very clever. And I hear he’s quite fit, as well.”

AU where Remus and Lily become friends outside of Hogwarts, setting James and Sirius on a quest to learn more about this mysterious newcomer. (61K)

23. Indiana Lupin and the Search for the Conqueror by nekarose

Remus Lupin is an undercover archaeologist for the British Museum and is sent to Greenland to investigate a Roman shipwreck. In Greenland he meets Sirius Black, makes a real discovery and soon enough the two of them are racing through the world in search of the remains of the Library of Alexandria with Remus’ arch-enemy right at their heels. (66K)

24. Le Mot Vagabond by ironicallyinternational

(It all starts with Peter Pettigrew dying twice.

First, Peter kills Wormtail (discreetly), and then Sirius kills him (less discreetly).

Losing a friend is never easy, even amidst the ravages of war, but losing the last of your childhood alongside him is far worse.)

War is a complicated, messy thing. The Marauders have their fucked up shit to deal with, but they also have each other, and that counts for a lot. (151K)

SERIES:

25. The Hole in the Ground by sostrata

(5 works)  A series of fics about Sirius and Remus raising Harry in their home, The Hole in the Ground.  (18k)

26. Holding Out by bigblackbog

(works 2)

On Halloween, 1981 Sirius and Remus abscond with Harry despite their recently rocky relationship. (36K)

27. Maddest House by busaikko

(6 works)

old as hell. Another wolfstar raising Harry fic (55K)

28. Lycanthropic Studies by Eiiri

(3 works)

After the Battle of Hogwarts, Remus recognizes something familiar in Draco Malfoy and offers him sanctuary. With nowhere else to turn--his parents in prison, his home a crime scene--Draco reluctantly accepts and becomes a tolerated, if not welcome, member of his schoolyard rivals' and wartime adversaries' family of choice. As pages of the lunar calendar turn and the summer wears on,Draco and the others begin to see each other in a different light. (139K)

29. Stealing Harryverse by copperbadge

(works 12)  

On a dark night long ago, Sirius Black took a wrong turn and never found Peter Pettigrew. Instead of Azkaban, Sirius settled down in Little Whinging to keep an eye on his godson, and hired Remus Lupin to run his bookshop for him. Then one day when Harry was eight, Sirius found out how the Dursleys treated him, and stole him away.

Stealing Harry is an alternate universe version of Harry Potter's life before his time at Hogwarts. It is the story of Harry's family: Sirius and Remus, Ted and Andromeda, Nymphadora, Neville Longbottom, and even Severus Snape, all banded together against a newly powerful Peter Pettigrew who is still searching for a way to resurrect Voldemort.

Laocoon's Children follows Harry through his time at Hogwarts as he develops a very different group of friends: Hufflepuff Draco Malfoy, Ravenclaw Padma Patil, and Gryffindor Neville Longbottom, strange companions for a Harry who was sorted into Slytherin -- the house of his beloved Professor Snape.

This universe ends in Harry's third year, and is partially incomplete. As it is not likely to be finished, the last story in the series is a group of notes I made on where the story would have gone and how it would have ended. (443.3K)

30. All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89

(4 works)

LONG fic charting the marauders' time at Hogwarts (and beyond) from Remus' PoV - diversion from canon in that Remus's father died and he was raised in a children's home, and is a bit rough around the edges. Otherwise canon-compliant. 1971 - 1995 (557K)

31. Crow Rides A Pale Horse  by tb_ll57

(4 works)

The note pinned to his collar read 'Harry J Potter - please accept'. The Dursleys had left him with nothing else but a pillow sack with half a sleeve of McVities biscuits, a mealy apple, and ten pounds. (618K)