#but this was completely out of left field and hit me like a truck

[mal1ntent]

Shoutout to my mom for momentarily making me scared she was going to bring up twitter discourse only to send me a clip of tntduo flirting

[loveforsatoru]

Our Blue Spring- Satoru Gojo x Fem Reader (Chapter 7: Reconnecting)

It was still pouring rain as you continued kissing underneath the moonlight before reluctantly pulling away for air.

Nothing was said, nobody spoke. The sounds of the party going on are muffled as you two stood in your own bubble. It’s like the rest of the universe doesn’t exist. Satoru could die a happy man right now, keeping you close to his chest, silently worshiping your delicate and angelic features.

You feel shy under his gaze, your cheeks flushing the more he looks at you. There wasn’t a single ounce of hatred in his eyes. He didn’t curse you or belittle you for leaving. He thanked you for coming back. You didn’t expect it. He waited for you for 7 years. He was completely devoted. Even if you never came back, you’re sure he would die before giving his heart to another. In his mind, nobody is qualified enough to have his heart besides you. His heart only wants you.

It was so overwhelming, you began to cry, but he didn’t yell. He didn’t tell you to stop crying. He didn’t tell you that you had no reason to be crying, you shouldn’t be upset because you were the one who left. No, he didn’t do any of that.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what to say. I’m so humiliated. I’m so sorry for leaving. I shouldn’t have done that. I was stupid.” You spoke between gasps and choked sobs which only made his chest hurt. No matter what, he’d always care for you. No matter how many times you leave, tell him it won’t work out or distance yourself, he’d welcome you right back home with open arms because his embrace is your home.

“Shh, it’s okay, don’t cry.” He gently pulls you closer towards him, cupping your cheeks and wiping your tears with the pads of his thumb, placing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Aren’t you mad? How do you not hate me?” You looked up at him with a look he knew all too well. Glassy eyed, cheeks stained with tear streaks, and swollen lips as you let out small huffs, trying to control your emotions and steady your breathing.

“I’m not mad. I could never hate you. You could tell me 100 times over that you want nothing to do with me and I wouldn’t stop loving you.”

“But I left you.”

“And you came back. That’s all that matters.”

Hearing him say that made guilt wash over your body, hitting you like a truck. There are still many unresolved problems in your life. You can’t promise to stay by his side, but you’ll try.

“Where are you staying tonight?” He asks, playing with the ends of your now wet hair, a habit he never let go of.

“Shoko’s.”

“Tell her you’re coming with me. We have a lot to talk about.”

You nod as he takes your hand, leading you away from the party to the train station.

His fingers lace with yours so perfectly, almost engulfing your hand entirely. You missed the feeling of being with him, next to him.

“So tell me..” He began.

“Hm?”

“Why’d you leave?” The question came out calmly, but in reality, his heart is racing, dying to know.

“I had some personal issues that I needed to resolve.”

He looks down at you and cracks a small smile.

“Cmon, don’t you think I deserve an explanation? I wanna know everything that happened while you were gone.”

You furrow your brows, unsure of how to put it in words without making yourself out to be an idiot.

“I felt stuck.”

“In our relationship?”

“No, not at all. That was what delayed my move in the first place.”

He nods at your words, putting a hand on the small of your back as he leads you into the train. You both sit down and he drapes an arm around you, leaning your head on his chest.

“Go on.”

“Being a jujutsu sorcerer wasn’t for me. It wasn’t the kind of life I wanted. I felt that by staying in Japan, working in that field I would regret not pursuing what I wanted in the first place.”

“And what was that?” He made sure to be attentive while you spoke, wanting to really grasp what motivated you to pack up and disappear for all this time.

“Fashion. I had dreamed of becoming a fashion designer for years. Originally, I only planned to stay in Japan for 1-2 years to practice sorcery upon my parents request, but then I met you and it prompted me to stay longer. I watched too many things happen, lost people right before my eyes. And each time it did, I started to wonder if that was really what I wanted to continue doing for a lifetime before making the decision to move and pursue my dreams. I applied for a job in America, they accepted, offered to fly me out, so I took the deal. It was an opportunity I felt I couldn’t pass up.”

“Couldn’t you have talked it out with me? We could’ve figured something out. I wouldn’t have a problem moving to be with you.”

While he understands where you’re coming from and doesn’t blame you one bit because if you’re happy, then he’s happy, it just hurt him a little to hear that you couldn’t go to him about it.

“That’s the problem. I knew you would drop everything to be with me, but it wouldn’t be the right thing for you to do. You’re needed here. You’re the strongest. Who knows what could’ve possibly happened if you decided to come with me? We had two different things going for us in life. It just wouldn’t work out.”

He doesn’t know how to respond. You’re right and he can’t deny that.

“I get it. So, what do you do for work?”

“I have my own clothing line.”

“Really? And how’s that going?”

“Amazing. It’s gotten pretty big. I’m surprised you haven’t heard about it. It’s why I flew back in the first place. My manager thought it’d be a good idea to expand the company worldwide.”

“Huh? Good for you. I’m proud of you. I couldn’t possibly blame you for leaving if it were to follow your passion and make a good living out of it.”

“So you’re saying you would be mad at me if I had any other reason?” You say, sarcastically, knowing he would still love you no matter the reason.

“Yup. I would fall in love with another and forget about you.” He laughs, darting his tongue out and poking at your side, making you jolt.

“Stop tickling me!” You laugh in between breaths and attempt to claw at his wrist.

The sounds of both your laughter fill the quiet train. Some people turn to look at you, but neither of you care. You’ve missed being able to laugh and smile with each other after so long.

“Okay, okay, try to sleep for a little while. You’re probably tired since you flew in early in the morning and the train won’t get to Tokyo for another hour and a half.” He says, releasing the hold he had on your sides to tuck you comfortably into him like he used to.

You happily curl into him, attempting to make yourself as warm as possible with his body heat. You’re completely worn out and he realizes that.

Immediately, you’re fast asleep Your breathing is heavy as your chest heaves up and down, enjoying the familiarity and comfort of his hold.

He strokes strands of hair away to get a better look at your face. He traces his thumb along your cheek, over your plump lips down to your jawline before pulling out his phone and taking a picture. He wants to remember this.

[the-guilty-writer]

Sleepless Seattle

Request from anon: hotch x reader who has insomnia? maybe with;  “Look me in the eyes and tell me what time you went to bed last night.  Or if you went to bed, for that matter.”

Aaron Hotchner x platonic!reader

Summary: When you can't sleep, you work, and a certain Unit Chief notices you've been working a little too much.

A/N: cheesy title, I know, but it works and it makes sense so we're going with it.

CW: reader has mild depression, talks about medication, medication changes, medication side effects

---

There were certain things in life that could be deemed necessary evils- taxes, politicians, and medication changes just to name a few. Currently the latter was kicking you in the ass.

Your depression was mild enough that it didn’t disturb your daily life until it did- you’d be okay for a while and then spend weeks on end just going through the motions, alive but not truly living. Medication helped significantly, to the point that you could go a few years without falling into the darkness, but sometimes they would slowly stop working. It would start with feeling more fatigued than normal and escalate to feelings of emptiness.

And then you’d have to go through a dreaded medication change.

You’d once heard that psychiatric medications were a crap shoot- the doctor would prescribe something and hope it would work, and when it didn’t they would try something else. That cycle would repeat until they found a drug that did it's job. You were lucky enough that you’d been able to take the same medication for nearly three years before it started to lose its effect, but now that it had stopped working, you were thrown into the chaos of trial and error in an attempt to find some new drug that would help stabilize your mood.

You’d been on this new one for about two months, and so far it was better than the last one you had tried, but it still wasn’t ideal. When you first started it, the dizziness hit you like a truck for a few days. After it subsided it hadn’t come back. Now the only side effects you were experiencing were a mild change in appetite and some pretty terrible insomnia.

You could fall asleep, but after about two hours you’d wake up and be unable to get any more shut-eye for a few hours. It seemed pointless to waste waking hours staring at the ceiling trying to fall asleep when you knew you weren’t going to- so you worked. The hotel you were staying at was right across the street from the Seattle field office, so you packed up your files and walked the short distance in the dark. It was the third night you had done this, so the night security guard just gave you a smile and a nod as you entered the building.

The evidence board was nearly full. You studied it carefully, picking apart every detail of every scene, jotting things down on a blank white board, but you still couldn’t get anywhere. As much as you hated to admit it, the team would probably have to wait for another victim to turn up in order to complete the profile. Still, you kept working. Rain pounded on the roof and clouds blocked out the sun, which is how you ended up losing track of time. Before you knew it, you were on your fourth cup of coffee and the rest of the team was arriving at the office.

“Watch out, Reid,” Morgan joked as he entered the room. “(Y/L/N) is trying to outdo you on the amount of coffee they can drink during this case.” He threw away your several empty styrofoam cups for you.

“How long have you been here?” Hotch asked you as he sat down at the table, ready to review the same evidence again and hoping he would notice something new.

“A couple hours,” you downplayed. “I’m going to get more coffee. Anyone need a refill?”

The murmur of “No thank you” and “I’m good, thanks” answered you as the team got to work and you left to go to the coffee station. You hadn’t even noticed your boss had followed you until you had set up the machine to brew.

“(Y/L/N),” Hotch started. “Is everything alright?”

You replied casually. “Yeah, this case is just making me antsy. That’s all.” It was a lie, and Hotch had been a profiler long enough and knew you well enough to catch it. The coffee finished brewing and you poured yourself a cup, adding in some creamer before turning to go back to the room where the rest of the team was.

But Hotch was standing in your way. The frown on his face was more pronounced than it usually was; the look in his never-blinking eyes less serious and more concerned than normal.

“(Y/N).” The sound of your boss using your first name made you stop. “Look me in the eyes and tell me what time you went to bed last night.  Or if you went to bed, for that matter.”

You felt your face blanch. “I went to bed when the team got to the hotel last night.” That was the truth.

Hotch’s expression took on a level of seriousness again. “How long did you sleep for?”

“Two hours. Maybe three?” You looked down, unable to meet his stare. “It’s just a side effect of my new medication. I’m fine, really. My doctor said it should go away in a few weeks.”

Hotch sighed quietly and held out his hand. Reluctantly, you gave him your fresh coffee. He emptied it in the sink and tossed the cup into the trash can. “No more coffee. You can work on the case until you feel tired, but once you do, you need to get some sleep.”

There was no point in arguing. The two of you walked back to the evidence room and began working. The combination of the gray sky through the window and the quiet of the room began to make you feel sleepy. You yawned, your eyes beginning to feel heavy and your limbs feeling fatigued.

Hotch looked at you from across the table. He nodded his head toward the couch in the room- an unspoken “go lay down.”

You closed your work and walked lazily to the couch, flopping down on it and closing your eyes. Within minutes you were sleeping peacefully on the old sofa, your soft breathing and the shuffling of papers were the only sounds in the room.

[f9clementine]

"Spark Plugs"

pairing: mechanic!Chan x afab reader // genre: fluff // words: 1.5k // warnings: just swearing.

Note: y’all… idk how to fix a car at all. I shamelessly call my Dad the minute something’s acting up in mine. So if you know how car’s work, just suspend that knowledge for a bit.

With a deep sigh, you slowed to a stop on the shoulder of the road, the brakes on your old truck screeching as you did. You quickly threw on the hazards and pulled the switch for the hood before hopping out of the cab. Immediately, the hot summer sun began to beat down on you, sweat perking along your hairline, but you were determined.

You unlatch the hood, pushing it all the way up to get a better look at the engine. You scan over it, frowning as you had no idea what you were looking at. But a quick glance up at the empty road next to you as well as the completely barren fields to your left and your right let you know you were on your own with this.

You pulled your phone out, glancing at the clock before you unlocked it. “I got time,” you mumbled, opening youtube and pulling up the video you had been watching the night before: ‘Replacing Your Spark Plugs.’ You hit play and began to get to work, listening intently to the instructions.

It took a half hour, along with some colorful swears when you accidentally smacked yourself with the plug socket you retrieved from the cab, but you’d done it. The spark plugs sat revealed in the engine, ready to be replaced.

You wiped a stray drop of sweat from your cheek, then grimaced when you realized you’d manage to smear some grease there instead. “I can clean up later,” you told yourself, focusing instead on the task at hand and reaching into the engine with the plug socket again.

It was a little arduous, but with a final tug you pulled a spark plug loose, emerging from the hood victorious with it in your (absolutely filthy holy shit) hands. You took a few steps back, looking at the spark plug for a minute. It didn’t look like it needed to be replaced, to be honest; it wasn’t brand new but there was minimal wear and tear. It should still work just fine.

To any mechanic worth their salt, it would give you away in a split second.

You turned to the field you were closest to, pulling your arm back before letting the spark plug fly. You calmly watched as it sailed through the air before landing somewhere in the field, and leaving you stranded on the side of the road.

You nodded, proud of yourself before turning back to your truck. You picked up your phone, the youtube video finished up as the instructor congratulated you on successfully changing the parts on your vehicle before you closed the app and looked at the time. Your heart suddenly began to race, realizing the time you thought you had was almost up.

Moving quickly, you put everything back the way you found it (sans spark plug, of course). Right when you tossed the wrench behind your seat, you could see the jet black car on the horizon, heading your way. Right on time. Places, everyone.

The 1970 Ford Mustang slowed to a stop next to your truck, the driver side window already down. “Hey neighbor, you having car issues?” Chan called out, lifting his sunglasses to sit on the top of his head.

You pulled back from where you had been leaning over your engine, flashing him a sheepish grin. “Yeah, she just stopped and I can’t figure out why.”

“One second.”

You watched as he pulled his car to your side of the road, parking in front of you on the shoulder before hopping out and joining you by your truck. 

“You just have the worst luck, huh?” Chan lightly teased, looking over your engine next to you. “First your water heater, and now this.” 

You hoped your ‘I’m so embarrassed’ giggle was believable. “Someone has it out for me, I guess.”

“Well, unluckily for them, you have me.” You were glad he was focused on your truck now, missing the way your cheeks suddenly burned- and not from the heat. “Can I see your keys?” 

You nodded, pointing to the cab of the truck. “They’re in the ignition.”

“Perfect, give me a second.” Chan moved around you, lifting himself into the driver’s seat. You took a step back from the engine, listening as he tried to start the engine. After a few tries, he rejoins you. “Well, it’s not the battery and you’re not out of gas.” He mumbled the last part to himself, dark eyes darting back and forth as he tried to think what could’ve happened.

“Maybe it’s your-” He stopped as he looked over at you, frowning for a second before reaching for his back pocket. “Don’t move.” He commanded and you froze. You watched as he pulled a red bendana from his back pocket, stepping up to you before gently rubbing it against your cheek. “You’ve got grease on your face.” His other hand gently grasped your chin, directing your face to turn a little.

You really hoped he couldn’t feel how heavily your heart was pounding against your ribs.

“There we go- all clean and pretty again.” Chan pulled away, repocketing his bandana and you were grateful since you were definitely on the edge of passing out. 

“Oh, uh, thank you.” You finally managed to wheeze out, simultaneously glad you had your space but missing how right his fingers had felt on your skin.

Chan grinned at you again before returning his attention to the broken vehicle in front of you. “But I think maybe it’s your starter or it’s your alternator… but I won’t know until I can really look at it. I can call Changbin to come tow you to the garage, if you’d like?” He offered and you nodded.

“That would be amazing, please.” 

Chan nodded, reaching for his other pocket to pull his phone out. “How long were you out here for?”

You shrugged, “Oh, not long. I only got off work about maybe an hour ago?”

Chan stopped and looked up at you, brows furrowed slightly. “You were out here for an hour? Did you call anyone?”

You blinked, suddenly realizing the hole in your plan. “Uh…” You hummed, searching quickly for an acceptable answer. “I thought maybe I could figure it out myself?” You timidly answered, unable to keep eye contact with him. “I was about to call my dad, though.” 

“The one that’s over two thousand miles away?” 

You groaned and scuffed your tennis shoe across the ground, “I figured he could tell me over the phone or something.”

Chan let out a laugh, selecting a contact on his phone and hitting the call button. “Next time, just call me. It’s a good thing I left the garage at a decent time today, or else you’d probably be waiting for help until nightfall.” The ringing stopped, Changbin’s loud ‘hello?’ interrupting Chan. “Hey, Changbin! Y/n’s truck broke down. Can you bring the tow to the road leading up to my place?” He paused, nodding as you could hear Changbin responding, but unable to make it out. “Yeah, that one. And then put it in a bay so I can take a look at it tomorrow… Perfect, thanks man.”

He hung up, sliding his phone back into his pocket before pulling the hood of your truck down. “Alright, so that’s taken care of. I’ll give you a lift home, obviously.” He leaned on the hood, tilting his head a little as he frowned, thinking. “I’ll give you a ride to work tomorrow, too.”

“Oh, uh,” You held your hands up, shaking your head. “I’m actually off tomorrow, luckily. But thank you for the offer.” 

“Gotta be thankful for small miracles, at least.” He stood up straight, nodding his head toward his car. “Let’s get you home and out of this heat.” He took a step and you began to follow before he stopped, turning to look at you again, a slight frown pulling at this full lips. “I wonder if it’s your spark plugs, maybe?”

Oh shit- play dumb, Y/n.

“What’s a spark plug?” 

Chan let out a loud laugh as he ushered you to his car with a hand on the small of your back before opening the door for you. “Y/n, I gotta tell you, you’re too cute sometimes.” Once again, you thought you were going to die as you slid into the passenger seat, ignoring how the leather seats were already sticking to your bare skin. 

Chan was still giggling as he came around the driver side, getting in himself. He grasped the keys, about to start the ignition before suddenly leaning over. You froze as you felt his soft lips brushing against your cheek, so dangerously close to the corner of your lips as he pulled away. 

“The next time you want my attention, pretty girl, you don’t have to sabotage your truck for it.”

He turned the engine of the mustang right then, the car roaring to life under you and drowning out your stammers before Chan shifted into first gear, pulling back onto the road as he continued to grin proudly.

Was this any of one my WIPs? of course not.

[kissingghouls]

The Prince

Part Two: The Heat //ao3 // Part One // Part Three

Vampire Terzo x Female Reader

Summary: The aftermath of the attack hits hard. (5600 words)

tags: NSFW, MDNI, 18+, horror themes, vampire violence, violence, blood, SMUT (p in v, oral), a dash of enemies to lovers, and more tags on ao3

banner by @ramblingoak my dear friend/cheerleader/editor and pretty much the only reason anything I ever attempt gets completed. You are the best bbyghoul 💜

Water dripped from the ends of your hair as you stood over the body of the man who had attacked you.

Limp and lifeless, the remains of the former vampire hunter lay sprawled on Terzo’s carpet. His limbs, stained red and splayed in all directions, rested in a field of gore while what remained of his blood oozed from the disgusting wound in his neck.

You’d managed to cover yourself in a towel, holding it tight to your body as you followed the vampire out of the bathroom. Neither of you spoke as he broke away from you in favor of pulling a pair of sweatpants over his skinny hips. Not that you would even begin to know what to say.

What happened in his bedroom was one thing, but what you’d allowed to happen after was what really terrified you. Terzo let out a heavy sigh, pulling you back to reality. You looked over to catch him regarding the body, using his foot to poke at it.

Fuck. This was really happening.

“Do you know him?” he asked and turned his gaze toward you. His mismatched eyes locked onto yours as a serious expression crossed his face. His forehead creased and a subtle set of wrinkles you’d never noticed formed between his eyebrows as he bit the inside of his cheek.

You shook your head wildly. You’d never seen this man in your entire life, that much you knew. Vampire hunting wasn’t exactly a popular occupation, but it wasn’t like the community held conventions either. This man was a stranger and now he wasn’t anyone. He never would be again.

“No,” you admitted slowly, mouth going dry at the realization that there was an actual corpse laying in front of you. “But I think he knew me.”

He shrugged and bent down, grabbing the dead man’s arms as unceremoniously as one would pick up trash. Far too easily, he pulled the body across the bedroom, the dead weight no match for supernatural strength. “I thought all you guys knew each other?”

You flinched as the vampire hoisted the body up and over the railing of the balcony, letting gravity take it out of view. It hit the lawn with a dull, heavy thud.

He wiped his hands on his pants, groaning as his fingers left sticky, red prints behind. With a huff, he shimmed out of them again, shaking his hips to help the grey fabric fall away from him without any more unnecessary handprints. You turned and faced the other way, not interested in seeing the vampire naked…again.

“Really?” he snapped. “After all that in there?”

“Just get dressed, Terzo.” You should never have let this happen. You shouldn’t have come here. You knew you weren’t strong enough to do this, everyone knew you would fail. Now your failure had a body count and you fucked a vampire. What the hell was wrong with you?

“No. Not until you tell me why there was a vampire hunter death match in my bedroom. Do you even know how hard it is to get blood out of this rug?”

“I don’t care about your fucking rug,” you shouted, keeping your eyes trained on his bedroom door. You pinched the bridge of your nose, trying desperately to drown out his voice along with the one screaming in your head.

He scoffed and stomped around behind you, slamming drawers as he went. He stepped in front of you, pointedly tightened the drawstring on a new pair of pants as he blocked your exit. “Of course, you don’t. You vampire hunters only care about death. None of you ever stop to consider how fucking difficult—”

It hit you like a truck when the words finally sank in. Terzo had put together enough information to confirm that his attacker was a vampire hunter. And so were you.

“Wait? You fucking knew?” you shouted incredulously.

“Well, yeah,” he said and crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s pretty obvious.”

“How long?” you howled, taking a step toward him as you began to shake.

“The whole time,” he answered with a bored sigh. “Are you going to keep yelling—”

“You knew. You knew the entire time and you never even said anything?” You were screaming now, unable to keep your anger to yourself as your hands made tight fists. Had he been fucking with you all week?

“Of course, I knew, bellezza. I’m not stupid. You think I would I let someone into my house if I didn’t know where they were?”

“For fuck’s sake, Terzo, I came here to kill you—”

He grinned proudly. “No, bellezza, you came here to try. Do I look dead to you?”

You narrowed your eyes. “If you want to get technical—”

“Save it,” he ordered with a wave of his hand. “We have a lot to do.”

“What the fuck do you mean ‘we?’”

“It’s your fault this stronzo came here. You must help clean it up.”

“Oh no,” you whispered, shaking your head. “There’s no fucking way I can do this.”

“Do what, bambina?”

“This,” you snapped, gesturing wildly between you, the vampire, and the bloody mess on the floor. “You just killed someone, and you want me to what? Help you hide the body? Go fuck yourself.”

“That’s an awfully high horse for someone who just said she came here to kill me,” he said with a snort.

“That was a person!”

“Oh? And what am I?”

“A vampire, you ass.”

He tilted his head. “If you can admit that I can be killed, some part of you must know that means I have life. Whether or not it looks the same as yours is irrelevant, bellezza. You cannot ‘kill’ a thing that is dead. And that guy?” He paused to point over the balcony. “He’s dead because he tried to kill us both. And he ruined my good sweatpants.”

“You can’t possibly be serious right now.”

“Ugh, I get it. You have no interest in fashion,” he said in a mocking tone. “Whatever. I’ll take care of it myself, like I always do—”

“This isn’t about your stupid fucking pants, Terzo—”

“I know exactly what this is about, bellezza. But you didn’t seem to have a problem with the body when you kissed me.”

“Oh, fuck you.”

“I’d be happy to go again any time you’re up for it,” he teased.

“Get me the fuck out of this nightmare,” you yelled and shoved past him.

Your room was only ten short steps away. If he really wanted to, he could stop you at any point. You were no match for his speed or strength, especially not undressed. You’d left your knife on the floor with the rest of your blood soaked clothes as you let Terzo fuck you senseless against a wall. You had to get out of here. There was no way you could kill him now, not if he knew who and what you really were. Your stomach dropped.

What if he didn’t let you leave?

A new fear crept down your spine and you bolted from the room as fast as you could. As futile as it was, you had to do something. Behind you, the vampire groaned in annoyance as the lock to your bedroom clicked into place. Your eyes darted around the room, carefully cataloguing all the places you’d hid weapons in case he tried to follow you. It wouldn’t take very long for you to collect your things and throw them back in your suitcase. You’d packed light on purpose, never planning to stick around Meliora House very long anyway. Maybe that was part of what gave you away.

The soft knock startled you more than the thought of the vampire bursting into the room.

“Bellezza?” he called softly through the door.

“Go away,” you ordered as you sank to the floor and drew your knees to your chest. You needed to think. You needed to get out of here. You needed a time machine to go back and undo everything that just happened. What were you even thinking? And what was he thinking? If he knew you were here to kill him, why would he sleep with you?

“Bellezza, please. You don’t need to be afraid of me. I won’t hurt you—”

You laughed angrily. “Hurt me? I’d like to see you try.”

“I don’t want to, bellezza—”

“Stop fucking calling me that.”

This was bad. It wasn’t even the kind of outcome you could have anticipated, so you had no idea how to compartmentalize and move past it. You fucked a vampire. Moreover, you fucked an Emeritus vampire. Of all the stupid decisions you’d ever made, this one was undoubtedly at the top of the list. There were rules with this job, a set standard of guidelines meant to keep the hunters safe and you’d just trashed all of them. You threw away every principle you ever had and for what?

“Why did I fuck him?” you muttered to yourself. Hoping for some kind of clarity.

“Because I am very fuckable,” he replied. Of course he could hear you.

“Please just go away, Terzo,” you begged, trying to keep your voice even, but it was no use. Bitter tears spilled from your eyes as you dug your teeth into your bottom lip. You crawled away from the door, dragging yourself to the dresser against the wall. You dressed slowly, trying to ignore the shadow of the vampire moving on the other side of the door.

Part of you wanted to fall apart, to not be the strong vampire hunter you were always told to be. You wanted the time and space to process whatever this was, so you could move on accordingly. But deep down you knew. If anyone else ever found out about this your reputation would be ruined. That you could handle, sure. But if the others knew, they would line up to kill you. They wouldn’t hesitate or ask questions; they wouldn’t even think twice about taking you out.

And maybe you’d let them. You couldn’t bring anymore shame or disappointment on yourself.

Maybe you could open that door and let Terzo rip your throat out so no one else could get you first. It was a terrifying thought, but not half as terrifying as the next. There was a part of you, some small, insignificant piece buried deep down that wished for the vampire to hold you. It was a tiny, fleeting thought that you almost missed. Almost.

“Cara?”

“I can’t do this,” you whispered. “I can’t fucking do this.”

“Cara—”

“What?” you snapped. “What the fuck do you want from me, Terzo?”

“I want to know if you’re ok,” he replied, so softly you almost didn’t hear.

You shook your head even though he couldn’t see it. “No, Terzo. I’m actually pretty far from ok. Can you just give me some time?”

“Sì, bellezza. Mi dispiace.”

You didn’t hear from the vampire for the next 36 hours.

It was an extended period of silence that you should have spent celebrating being alive or at least alone. Instead, you barely dragged yourself from that insanely comfortable bed for anything. You stayed there, wrapped in the comforts of the wealthy vampire as you tried to decide what to do with your life.

Could you really return to the same sad existence of researching and hunting vampires if you couldn’t even finish this job? Could you even go back if that pit formed in your stomach every time you thought of Terzo as a job? As some thing for you to destroy?

Sure, you couldn’t stand the guy and you certainly didn’t trust him. But he had saved your life and for some unknown reason you’d saved his too. You didn’t understand why you’d saved each other, but you felt you still somehow owed him for that. Owed him so much more than just a quick bang in his shower.

That idiot was the sole reason you were able to hide yourself away in that stupid bed.

A piercing wail erupted in every room, putting an immediate end to your pity party. The high-pitched screech indicated there was some kind of emergency inside the mansion. You jumped up and grabbed the nearest weapon you could find, a knife that felt too heavy in your hand as you sprinted from the room.

Terzo’s door was open, the room empty and his bed unmade. You heard a crash downstairs and took off, managing to make it down the staircase in record time. As you landed in the main hall the familiar, acrid smell of smoke filled the air. A haze settled within the walls of Meliora House and you began to fear the worst.

They were going to burn Terzo out of his home.

You ran toward the kitchen, mentally tracing the blueprints of the house. There was a shut-off for the gas near the pantry and there were extinguishers located in every room since the property had never been retrofitted for a sprinkler system. You mapped an escape plan from there, checking each room you passed for the vampire.

When you finally found him you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

Terzo sat perched on the island in the center of the kitchen with his head in his hands. His black paints, clothes, and hair were covered in a white, powdery substance, as thought he’d sneezed directly into a bag of flour. A thick smoke billowed from the oven across from him, its door left open a crack so he could check the contents. Around you the wailing continued, louder in the kitchen than anywhere else. The vampire never moved.

“Terzo? What the fuck?” you called out.

“Ah, bellezza! Good morning,” he shouted back with a grin.

You swept through the room, kicking the oven closed as you turned the knobs back to their off position with a far too satisfying click. Grabbing an empty baking sheet, you climbed up on the counter and started to fan the smoke away from the alarm.

“Bellezza! Get down from there!” Terzo pleaded nervously as he scrambled from his seat.

“Shut up and open the windows.”

To your surprise, he did as he was told. The vampire moved through the room too quickly, nothing more than a blur at the edge of your vision as he threw open the windows. After a moment of desperately waving your arms, the house fell silent once more.

“Huh,” was all Terzo said as he cocked his hip.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” you asked directly, still standing above him on the counter.

“I was only trying to help,” he replied, shaking his head slightly.

“Help who?”

“You.”

Your eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he took a step closer. He reached up and offered his hand to help you down from the countertop, looking at you with an expression you couldn’t name. You let him guide you back to the floor, his hand clasped around yours. It was softer and colder than you expected and completely coated in what had to be sugar and flour.

“I’m fine, Terzo. I don’t—”

“You were upset.”

You let out a deep sigh. “I’m ok. Really. I just…sometimes I need to process things. But, for the record, setting your kitchen on fire isn’t really helping anyone.”

He groaned and dragged himself toward the oven. Smoke poured out again as he opened the door and gestured to the monstrosity inside. “I wasn’t trying to start a fire, bellezza. Even I know how to do that properly. I was—”

You covered your mouth and nose with your hand to keep the smoke away while hiding the look of disgust that washed over your face. Inside the oven was a baking sheet dotted with the charred remains of whatever he had been trying to make. Somehow, the walls of the oven were coated in a thick sludge that resembled cooling lava as it hardened quickly. It dripped from the rack, spilling into an amorphous puddle below.

“What?” you managed in a shallow whisper.

“Eh?”

“What exactly were you trying to do?”

His face fell as he chewed the inside of his lip. “It doesn’t matter, bellezza.”

You grabbed an oven mitt and retrieved the baking sheet from the oven, carefully placing it on the stovetop. “Did you…” Your mind wandered as you examined the sad lumps of something that was scorched into the metal. “Did you put plastic in the oven?”

“No! I was just trying to—Fuck it, nevermind,” he huffed and stomped past you.

You caught his wrist, urging him to stop. “Terzo?”

He shook his head, his hair falling over his face as he shrank in on himself. “I’m sorry, bellezza. I used to know how to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Baking.”

You took a step back as your mouth snapped shut. “You…wait did you do this for me?”

He gave you a noncommittal shrug. “I just thought—no, bella, don’t!”

He panicked as you grabbed one of the charcoal bricks from the pan and brought it to your lips. He was able to stop you easily—he was faster and stronger than you—but he handled you delicately, gently taking your wrists and holding them out of reach.

“Aw come on, at least let me try it,” you teased with a grin and tugged against his restraint.

“Bellezza, it’s not even edible.”

“How would you know? Can you even eat food?”

“You don’t know much about us, do you?”

You shrugged and tried not to focus on the feeling of his fingers encircling your wrists. “I know enough.”

He smiled, wide and toothy. “You’re still afraid of me.”

“I’ve never been afraid of you.”

“Dolce,” he said lowly. “I can hear your heart racing.”

“That’s not fear,” you admitted softly.

Your face felt hot as his grip on you tightened. His gaze drifted, zeroing in on your lips as he shifted closer. He released his hold on you, trading your wrists for your waist as he pulled your body to his. You weren’t sure what had gotten into you, but the look you gave him in return was nothing short of a dare. A dare he took quickly, softly pressing his lips to yours as he brought a hand to your face.

He held you there, teasing just enough to deepen the kiss. Your mouth fell open with a soft moan and he used the opportunity to swipe his tongue against yours. All that worrying you’d done, all that time spent thinking of what to do next if you couldn’t kill him was all for nothing. The vampire crowded you against the counter, his half-hard cock pressed against your hip as you tangled a hand in his hair. He groaned at the feeling, teeth pulling at your bottom lip.

At the first taste of copper, he whimpered into your mouth before pulling away. A hurried, mumbled apology spilled out of him. Didn’t mean to, wasn’t trying to. Your lips were still swollen as you brought your hand up to trace the spot where his fang had split your skin. You looked over at him, still wincing from the sting of the miniscule wound as you realized how ashamed he looked.

It was enough to bring you both back to reality, back to being Vampire and Hunter. Even if that was some sad approximation of the truth, it was a fact that kept replaying in your head. He was this. You were that. And he was gone before you could say anything different.

There was a part of you that wanted to chase after him, to reassure him and swear once more that you weren’t afraid. You knew he hadn’t done anything on purpose; his actions had confirmed that well before it could even cross your mind. And maybe it should have been your first thought as a vampire tasted your blood, but it wasn’t.  He was so different than what you expected, so impossible to predict that you understood staying at Meliora House would likely never get any easier.

You sighed and began to close the windows, staring out at the brilliant pinks and greens that made up the elaborate garden. How were you supposed to view someone who had failed so miserably at baking and sang so beautifully in the garden as someone dangerous? A couple of nights ago he went as far as to say he wouldn’t bite you. At the time you thought he was just being an ass, but maybe there was a sincerity that you missed, some subtle clue you’d been blind to by only seeing him as one thing. Maybe that was why he’d run from you. Until now, you’d thought he was a monster.

You cleared the kitchen, dumping the burned pieces of Terzo’s attempted masterpiece into the trash. He was thoughtful enough not to leave the room a complete disaster; most of the wayward ingredients seemed to have ended up on him instead of the countertops. Performing a menial task had always helped to clear your head, to let your worries drift to grant you temporary calm. So, you scrubbed down the counters and the dishes and tried not to think about the vampire at all.

It didn’t work.

As you rounded the second set of stairs, you made up your mind. You were going to apologize to Terzo. For what, you weren’t exactly sure. But you had to say something, anything to get him to understand.

His bedroom door was closed and there was no blaring TV behind it. You knocked anyway, hoping he would at least answer you. There was nothing but silence on the other side, and you waited a moment before trying again. Your stomach tied itself in knots as your brain immediately began to think of the worst possible outcomes. The thought that he was ignoring you hurt the worst. You raised your fist to try again, swallowing down the lump in your throat.

“Bellezza?”

Relief washed over you as you turned and found Terzo standing behind you. He’d washed away the powdery mess and usual paint from his face, leaving only faint traces of black around his lash line. It nearly took your breath away to see there was a man under the façade of the monster. He was the first you’d ever met, but the Emeritus brothers were well known for their odd tradition of always hiding behind that mask-like paint.

“Is everything ok?” he asked softly, tilting his head to the side.

You nodded silently, unable to take your eyes off him. His skin looked so soft, the flat planes of his stomach visible under another stupid crop top. There was an underlying force to him, a subtle warmth than hadn’t been there before. He looked alive.

It suited him well.

“I—uh,” you struggled to find the words, clearing your throat instead. “I’m sorry. I didn’t—you didn’t—”

“Cara?” He stepped closer, eyes searching yours for some meaning to your words. “Your heart,” he whispered and pressed a hand to your chest.

Your heart was pounding wildly against your ribcage. Fear, anticipation, want, need. All these things that were supposed to make you feel weak and useless only seemed to set fire to your blood. And it burned, flames licking the places where his fingertips rested against your skin. Your breath caught in your throat as he brought his other hand to your waist.

It was you who closed the gap this time, a simple, shy press of your mouth to his. Soft, barely touching, but it didn’t stop him from making the most sinful noise before pulling you closer. You fell against him, too eager to deepen the kiss, to show him the things you couldn’t say. There was a taste on his tongue that didn’t belong to either of you, the same taste as your first and second kiss and part of you wondered if kissing him would always taste faintly of blood. But you didn’t dare stop. You held him as tightly as you could, wrapping your legs around him as he lifted you up.

He carried you into his room, moving with a dizzying speed to drop you on top of his ridiculous bed covered in fluff and frills. You grabbed at his shirt, frowning as he swatted your hands away. A playful grin spread across his face as he pinned your wrists to the bed.

“Patience, bellezza,” he hummed against your neck. “I want to have you slowly this time.”

You shuddered beneath him, your mind racing as you tried to find a suitable argument. “You worried about ruining your princess bed?”

He smiled as he let go of your wrists and crawled down your body. Slowly, he lifted your shirt away from your skin, ghosting his lips over your stomach as he spoke. “I’ll ruin you on my princess bed. Don’t worry.”

You couldn’t help the pathetic whimper that left you.

He gripped the waistband of your pants, tugging them down your hips. “Is that what you want, principessa?”

You bit your lip as he pressed soft kisses against your stomach. His hands slipped under your shirt, fingers pausing to roughly pinch at your nipples. You arched into his touch, a quiet moan slipping past your lips as he dragged his hands down your torso. He used the opportunity to slide your pants and panties off in one go, leaving you half-exposed underneath him.

The room felt too hot as he brought his hands to your knees and began to push them apart. “Is this—”

“Yeah. Yep,” you managed and shut your eyes tight.

“Principessa, look at me,” he purred.

You followed his command, eyes locking with his as he brought his mouth to your center. You mewled at the first brush of his tongue, but it did nothing to slow him down. He watched you from between your legs, quickly learning what you liked best as he pulled more sounds from you. You grabbed a fistful of his hair, pulling tight as he sucked and teased your clit while easing his fingers against your entrance. Your cunt tightened around them the second they slipped inside, a pleased hum vibrating in his chest as your hips left the bed.

“So impatient, bellezza.”

“Terzo, please.” There was a desperation in your voice that you hated, but it was all too much. He felt too good; he was too good and that coiled spring in your stomach was so close to snapping already.

“Go on then,” he whispered, curving his fingers just so as he brought his mouth back to your clit. He made rough circles with tongue as he pumped his fingers against your walls, still watching you the entire time.

“Oh, fuck,” you whined as it hit you. Your legs twitched hard enough that you thought you would kick Terzo off the bed, but he leaned into you, pinning you down with that vampire strength you kept forgetting about. He let you ride out your orgasm on his fingers, an enthusiastic little smile on his face as you writhed beneath him.

“Brava ragazza,” he said softly and pressed a kiss into the inside of your thigh. He sat up, palming himself over his sweatpants as he looked down at you. “Cosi bella.”

“Shut up,” you groaned as you reached for him. He let you pull him back to you, lips slotting together in a filthy, needy kiss only to break as the two of you removed your shirts.

Your heart raced as he moved to kiss your neck. The press of his teeth was an empty threat, but it still went straight to your core. You held him a little tighter, soft moans and promises whispered into his ear as he kicked off his pants. He lined himself up with your entrance, sliding the head of his cock through your folds so slowly you wanted to scream. You nearly did when he finally pushed into you, the stretch of him punching the air from your lungs.

You shouldn’t have done this the first time, and you certainly should have learned your lesson and not opted in for a second round. But the instant he rocked his hips against you, you forgot any of the reasons you had not to do this. He wasn’t the monster you thought he was. He wasn’t any of the things you’d thought he was before you came here. But he was annoyingly good in bed, not that you would complain.

He turned your bodies, pulling you down on top of him. You grabbed at the stupid tufted headboard, holding tightly as he fucked into you slow and deep. He held you there, keeping your hips in place to prevent you from moving any faster against him.

“Terzo, please. I need—”

He shut you up by pressing his thumb against your clit, swirling rough movements as he began to thrust faster, harder. You begged him for more, chasing that end you needed so badly and he was all too happy to give you anything you asked for. You bent down and kissed him deeply, trying to stifle your own moans as you rode him until you came apart. He held you there, his cock buried deep inside you as he shoved his tongue into your mouth, trying to fight off his own end. But your cunt tightened around him, and his cock kicked, the two of you silently shouting as you came in tandem.

He was slow to release you, holding you tight as he rolled to the side to set you back on the bed. He pulled out with his eyes shut tight, unable to hide how sensitive you’d left him. You turned away, trying to return your breathing to normal as your legs trembled and the world crashed around you.

You did it again. You fucked the vampire again. You rolled your eyes and buried your face in one of his stupid frilly pillows, trying not to bite your lip bloody in favor of screaming. After a beat, you sat up and started to look around the room for your clothes. Your shirt was within reach, but your pants had ended up on the other side of his bed.

You felt his eyes on you as you stood and moved across the room to retrieve them, but you tried hard to look anywhere else.

“You don’t have to—” he started softly.

“Oh, it’s ok. I mean—”

“But you could stay,” he said with a shrug.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“It just…isn’t.”

He put his hands behind his head and leaned back with a heavy sigh. “Don’t you find it exhausting to always make excuses to not have fun, bellezza?”

“I don’t do that,” you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest.

He raised an eyebrow. “So, it’s just something you do around me?”

“What about you running from the kitchen?” you snapped.

His expression softened. “I’m sorry. I—”

You buried your face in your hands. “What the fuck are we doing?”

“I’m not sure,” he admitted. “But right now, we could just be talking.”

“Ok.”

“Do you like movies, bellezza?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the question. “Yeah, I guess. Just not that garbage you watch.”

“Garbage? Spazzatura? No, no, no, bellezza,” he said hurriedly and jumped up. He grabbed your shoulders and steered you back toward the bed.

“Terzo what the hell?”

He planted you on the corner and rushed to the nightstand to snatch the remote before you could leave. “Christmas With a Cardinal is a masterpiece,” he argued, pointing the remote at your face. “You will see.”

“Oh no. No. Absolutely not.”

“Why, you have something better to do?”

You sighed. “No.”

“Sì, that’s what I thought—”

“Terzo?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think you could get dressed?”

He groaned. “If you insist.”

“Yeah, I’m not going to watch this terrible movie with you while your cock is out. So, take your pick.”

He shook his head. “You weren’t complaining—”

“Shut up.”

He shrugged and found his discarded sweatpants, dressing himself before he joined you at the edge of the bed. He leaned back and grabbed one of his pillows, offering it to you as he flicked through his saved movies on his massive tv. You shook your head as soon as the sound of bells and Christmas carols started.

While it wasn’t the worst thing you’d ever seen, you weren’t sure how much of an argument could be made for its place in cinema history. Halfway through, you gave up trying to fight sleep and settled into the pillow. If you hung around Meliora House much longer, you were sure Terzo would make you watch the end.

It was dark when you woke, the sweltering summer air drifting in from the open balcony door. It took you a moment to remember you were in Terzo’s room. In Terzo’s bed. Outside, thunder rumbled in the distance, a brief flash of lightning revealing you were alone in the vampire’s room.

“Terzo?”

It was eerily still as you waited for an answer that didn’t come. Carefully you made your way to the door, stopping short as the faint familiar smell of smoke hit you. You cracked a smile, wondering what in the hell would possess him to try baking a second time. As you reached for the doorknob, an arm slid around your ribs and pulled you back. A hand pressed over your mouth as you tried to kick yourself free.

“Shh, shh. It’s me. It’s me,” Terzo whispered quickly. “Someone’s in the house.”

Thanks so much for reading!

xo Ghouls

[wintrcaptn]

Wish I Loved You In The Nineties | Ch. 2

Joel Miller x Reader

Summary : right person, wrong time. But maybe you can change Joel’s mind.

A/N: It’s a slow burn with angst. Sorry. But I promise when it gets spicy…it’ll be worth it!! Lol I hope you guys enjoy! Would appreciate any feedback!

3.1k words

Chapter 1

Warning : age gap (reader is of age!), cursing, angst,

The next morning had been quiet for the most part. Joel made coffee per usual, and left the mug next to my sleeping bag for me to wake up to.

Even when he was pissed off, he always made sure I woke up in a good mood.

After last night, I definitely needed some coffee. I tossed and turned all night, not able to shut my thoughts off from the kiss.

It wasn’t making any sense. Joel was the one person who knew how to get under my skin. Even though I trust him completely, I never saw him in that way. Or at least I didn’t think I did.

But if that was true…how would that kiss hold so much power over me?

I must’ve had these feelings for him without realizing, right?

I sat in the truck, sipping on my coffee, with my feet up on the dashboard trying to think back at all the significant times I had with Joel.

There must have been a moment when things changed. But when?

———

(Flash back 3 months prior)

“Do you ever smile?” I asked, sitting across from him as I ate, book in my lap. Tonight I was reading Pride and Prejudice for the hundredth time.

Joel leaned against a tree stump, his arms crossed over his chest, eyes closed. “No.” He groaned.

“Allergic to all things happy?” I teased.

His eyes shot open and glared at me. Eye brows furrowing, showing disdain in his features.

“Can I ask you something serious?” I asked.

Joel didn’t budge. He definitely didn’t stop glaring at me to show how uninterested he was in anything I had to say.

“Why did the scarecrow win an award?”

He let out a sigh and closed his eyes once again. Relaxing against the tree. “Because he was outstanding in his field.”

My eyes widened and I couldn’t help but chuckle. “You do have a sense of humor!” You exclaimed.

“Shut up.” He groaned.

Just as you were gonna look away, you noticed the small smile forming on his lips. For some reason, it made you feel good to know that deep down he did like you. Maybe not like you in a sense that he’ll be your best friend, but he likes your company enough to keep you around. And for now, that was enough.

————

(Now)

I looked at him from the corner of my eyes, feeling a bit awkward from the silence but also content having him there with me.

Joel focused his attention on the road. He had one hand on the steering wheel while the other held his travel mug. He’d take sips from time to time but not once did her ever look back at me.

It was hard to read him. And it was killing me. I just needed to know he didn’t hate me or regret the kiss because I sure as hell didn’t. I wanted more. I wanted him.

And that’s when it hit me…there wasn’t really a significant moment that made me want him…

It was the little things he did. The way he made me feel safe. The way he made me laugh with his sarcasm, which I knew he was just using to keep me at a distance.

For all the little moments spent together, the pot of coffee he made for us every morning, the reassurance of making sure I was okay. The little random books he’d bring back if he went out on his own or any extra pens he’d find.

He may have been harsh most times. May mask his emotions with anger and annoyance, but as I sat here I realized Joel had shown me he was someone I could trust in the ways he took care of me. Protected me.

“Did you hear me?” His voice caught my attention, forcing me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry what?” I cleared my throat.

“I need the map.” He muttered. “Never mind”

He pulled off to the side of the road and leaned over me to retrieve the map from the glove box. His scent grew stronger as he got closer, making my stomach flutter. And my legs clench together.

“Tryna see how much longer we got til we hit Wyoming.” He mumbled. “Still got eight more hours.”

He folded the map on his lap, and glanced outside for a moment. His silence made me nervous. Sure, joel wasn’t talkative to begin with but this was different. And it was eating me alive.

“Joel—“

“Suns goin down, maybe we should set up camp somewhere close. Then leave in the mornin.” He cut me off.

In that moment, Joel put the truck in drive and drove deeper into the woods, away from the road.

My heart was pounding profusely sitting there in such close proximity. I had wanted things to go back to how it was before but there was too much tension. It was hard to even breathe.

“Joel…we should talk.”

“Ain’t nothing to talk about.” He said, not once looking at me.

“So I’m just suppose to pretend that kiss never happened?”

He shrugged. “Already forgotten.”

Suddenly, my heart shattered from just those two words that hung in the air making it unbearable to breathe. My chest tightened and tears began to well in my eyes.

“I wish I never met you.” I whispered, turning my gaze out to the passenger window, letting the tears roll down my cheeks.

————

(Joel’s POV)

“I wish I never met you.” Her words were soft spoken but her voice quivered.

I knew that I had hurt her. Hell, I felt the same pain the moment I said it.

But I know I need to distance myself. I have to. Ever since I met her, I knew she was someone special.

She took her free time to read. She held on to hope and the idea of love so much that she never let this world get to her. Not even when those fucking assholes tried to take advantage of her and could have possibly killed her. If I didn’t—

She was gentle, and caring, and deserves more than anything I could ever give her.

Not only was I twice her age, my hands weren’t clean. I’ve killed people. A lot of them. Some who were probably just as innocent as her and—

I swallowed hard, and tightened my grip around the steering wheel, forcing myself to shake the thoughts.

Even if I were to change, I’ll forever be haunted by these memories.

Pulling up to a clearing. I parked the truck and quickly climbed out, letting the fresh cool air hit against my face. I finally let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding.

“I’ll keep watch tonight.” Her voice said, pulling me back to reality.

“Nah, that’s alright. You get some sleep—“

“I did last night.” She cut me off. “Now it’s your turn.”

“Look, I got helluva shot compared to ya. If someone were to sneak up on us, I have a better chance at protecting us over you.”

“And if you don’t ever sleep, we are as good as dead.”

She had a point. It’s been a few days since I really slept, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tired. But the thought of her awake all alone in these woods, while I was passed out…it didn’t sit right with me.

“No. I’ll be fine.” I stated.

Her face scrunched into a disgusted look and she rolled her eyes. “You’re so damn stubborn.”

“And you’re not?”

She grabbed her book from her bag and her sleeping bag and set it up in the back of the truck bed.

“Guess we will both keep watch tonight. I’ve had enough coffee to get me through the night.” She said, climbing up onto the truck. “Not like I can sleep anyways.”

“Do you ever listen? I said I will keep watch.”

“And I said no.”

We stared at one another, not once breaking contact for what seemed like an eternity. She had furrowed brows and her jaw clenched tightly. Almost a mirror of what I look like 24hours a day.

This wasn’t like her, and it definitely wasn’t something I was used to.

Sure she was someone who did what she wanted most of the time, but when I told her to do something like sleep, she’d do it without any fuss. And now she wants to fight back?

“Fine. Just don’t bother me. You stay there, and read your little book.” I walked over to the other side away from her but still in view. “And I’ll stay here. Got it?”

She only nodded and slumped down into her sleeping bag as she opened her book.

I sat up against a tree, my rifle right beside me as I watched around, making sure no one shows up.

A small lamp sat by her, illuminating her face just enough for me to see. Her gaze stayed glued on her book as she absentmindedly nibbled on her bottom lip. Something she did quite often.

Since the day I lost Sarah, I had no issues pushing people away. Hell, I even pushed Tommy away at some point.

I didn’t care to let anyone in cuz I didn’t want to feel anything but the anger I had since she died.

Then she came in to my life and suddenly, it took every ounce of energy to push her away. To keep my walls up. It was exhausting.

As I sat there, watching her carefully…studying her features like I were never to see her again.

It was hard to deny at times like these when the world was quiet and it was just us two under the same moon, the same stars…it was hard to deny how I felt about her.

No matter how hard I fought myself over it…or how many times I denied it…I couldn’t escape the truth.

She was in everything and all things in between. She took up every space in my head, every time I closed my eyes, I saw her.

“I can feel your eyes on me.”

———

(Your pov)

I sat here, snuggled in my sleeping bag, trying hard to focus on my book in my lap. But it was useless. All I could think about was Joel.

Think about the way his lips felt against mine. The way his hands pulled me in closer against him. How much I wish I could go back to that moment in time.

My body grew hot from just the thoughts of him. It felt like I was being watched, at first I expected it to be all in my head but then I glanced up over at Joel across from me and noticed his stare.

“I can feel your eyes on me.” I said, shutting my book. “What’s your problem?”

Joel furrowed his brows and sighed. “Nothin, just read your damn book.”

“No.” I said feeling anger wash over me.

I know I wasn’t one to confront someone when I was upset, I usually shut down and hold things in but right now…I just couldn’t.

I got up and climbed off of the truck, making my way over to him. He propped up to his feet, obviously annoyed that I wouldn’t drop it.

But I didn’t care. I stood in front of him, my head tilting up too meet his gaze.

“Did you really forget about our kiss?” I asked, feeling a lump form in my throat.

“I ain’t doin this with you. Just leave it alone.”

“I can’t! Joel, I can’t.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and turned away from me. He mumbled something under his breath before turning back around to face me.

“I told you it was a bad idea. I told you not to mix your weird fantasies with me.” He said, voice mixed with anger and exhaustion. “I kissed you cuz you wouldn’t shut up bout it.”

Tears began to well and without a warning, they stained my cheeks.

“Why are you such an asshole?!”

“Why you such a brat?” He yelled back. “You never know when to stop. When to shut up. You just push and push and push. You’re nothing but a pain in my ass!”

I stopped for a moment, taking in his words. My eye brow twitched up and I couldn’t believe this was how he felt. After all this time, I thought he was slowly opening up to me but I was wrong. He really did hate me.

“Well, you don’t ever have to worry about me annoying you any longer.” I said, as I turned on my heels to pack my things.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like he had just knocked all the wind out of me. But I didn’t want him to see me weak. I didn’t want him to see that he truly hurt me.

“What’s that suppose to mean?” He asked following behind.

“I’ll grab my things and be out of your hair in no time.” I said.

“Where you gonna go? We are in the middle of nowhere.”

I just ignored him as I continued shoving my sleeping bag into the bag and my book back into the bag.

“Look, it’s late. Let’s just sleep it off and come dawn you can leave.” Joel muttered, shoving his hands deep into his front pockets.

“Why wait?” I threw my bags over my shoulders and slammed the truck door shut before turning to face him one last time. “Thanks for saving me that day. Sorry for sticking around, I just didn’t want to be alone.”

With that, I start toward the dark trees behind him. My heart pounded so fast, I could hear it in my ears but no matter how scared I was, I knew I couldn’t stay anymore. The more I looked at him the more I wanted him but he didn’t want me.

“Don’t be stupid! Get back here!” His voice was loud, and demanding. But that didn’t stop me from walking away.

“You don’t know what’s out there.”

“Guess I’ll find out.” I said.

————

(Joel’s POV)

As the tension met its breaking point, I could feel myself grow frustrated by the second. She refused to listen like always, the sound of her steps grew fainter with each one feeling like a blow to my chest.

I balled my hands into fists, my knuckles turning white. “I ain’t gonna tell ya again.” My voice grew louder.

My feet had a mind of its own, stomping towards her. I didn’t care how stupid I looked right now. Fighting with the girl who I pushed away.

It didn’t take me long to reach her, but I didn’t hesitate to stop her. I grabbed her wrist and forced her to fall back into me.

“Let me go!” She demanded. But. I didn’t say a word. Instead I just stared at her with anger fueling me.

My jaw hurt from clenching is so tight, my nose flared as I scrunched my brows together. I was pissed. Beyond pissed. But I had no right and I knew I didn’t.

How did I even get here? When did I let things get this far? She was nothing to me just a little over a year ago. She has been nothing but a god damn nuisance since she came around and now I’m standing here wishing I could kiss her again. To pull her into me so close that I could feel her heart beat against me.

“Joel, you’re hurting me. Let, me go!”

I let go of her wrist, and grabbed her chin. Making her look up at me, fighting myself from kissing her. “Then fuckin listen to me.”

“Why should I?! You’ve been telling me to leave for months and now that I’m actually trying to leave, you won’t let me!” Her voice shook.

I finally released my grip I had on her. “It’s late, we are close to Wyoming. Tomorrow we will drive straight there and then we will go our separate ways.” I said. “You ain’t leavin here alone. I’m not gonna let something happen to you just because you dont know how to listen.”

“But—“

“Don’t cut me off.” My eyes were locked on to hers. The most I looked at her the more I realized just how screwed I was. She was seeping in between the crevices, she was getting to me. “Get your ass back to the camp site. Read your damn book and you do what I say when I say it…got it?”

I could see her take in every word before she nods in agreement.

“Repeat it.”

Before she opened her mouth, she quickly licked her lips. God, what I would do to taste those lips again. To feel them against mine, or wrapped around my—

“Do what you say.”

“Atta, girl.”

————

(Your POV)

My heart was pounding profusely, and so many different emotions washed over me.

I hated when Joel tried to control me. Hated when he talked down to me. But at the same time…I couldn’t help but yearn for more of it.

I’d be lying to myself if I said I didn’t think it was hot, but I had to try and shake the thoughts out of my head.

“Just so we’re clear, I’m only staying cuz I’m too tired to fight off clickers alone.” I lied. If I were being honest with myself, I really didn’t want to leave Joel in the first place. Being with him felt so right.

“Sure.” Was his only response.

He made me sit in the truck and he locked us in together.

The windows fogged from our breaths and the cold air from outside.

The silence was loud between us and I hated it. Maybe he was right. If I would’ve just listened and not beg him to kiss me…there wouldn’t be so much tension.

But of course, I don’t know when to shut up and stop.

“Here take this.” Joel said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

He wiggled himself out of his jacket and placed it over me. “Maybe now you’ll stop shaking like a damn chihuahua.”

I looked down at his jacket over my body and a small smile formed on my lips. Pulling my legs up to curl into a ball, the scent lingering off of his jacket filled my nose…it made my stomach flutter.

If he really didn’t care about me like he says, he wouldn’t go out of his way to make sure I was taken care of…right?

“Thank you.” I whispered just barely loud enough for him to hear.

———

Tagging ;

@evyiione @joeldjarin @titabel

[frracturedjaw]

Hello! Can I request a Bo Sinclair x GN Reader Oneshot based off this “When I look at you all I can see are the mistakes we’re going to make (The future’s so bright)” ?

I imagine it to be a fluffy, reassurance one shot where Bo is so scared at the idea of loving someone but he tries and he makes a lot of mistakes. The reader then assures him that his efforts aren’t unnoticed and that it’s completely okay because even if what he’s trying to do/express doesn’t come out right, they know he loves them. Mistakes are simply bounds of love for the two :)

warning(s): alcohol, canon typical violence, unhealthy relationship dynamics (reference to reader having initially been a potential victim before entering relationship w bo)

a/n: i know you said fluffy but for me bo is so deliciously fucked up i had to make it a little dark :’) it gets fluffy at the end i promise lol

it’s been raining all day, so you’ve been stuck inside with each other for too long. him pestering you while you try to cook dinner is the spark that lights the dynamite.

“you sure that’s cooked all the way through?” he asks from the table a few feet away, eyeing the spitting meat on the pan.

“I’m sure.” you reply amicably.

“it weren’t on there for that long.”

“you saw me stick it with the thermometer just a moment ago. I’m sure.” you repeat.

“just wanna be sure,” his voice jumps higher in a way that feels condescending. you know better than to point that out, though. “you know what I’d do if you tried to feed me raw meat.”

“I know plenty well.” you’re quiet now, hoping to keep him from getting upset before anything’s even happened.

“you think so?” he stands from the table and wanders up near the counter beside you.

“mmh.” you reply noncommittally.

“what’s that? speak up, doll. you know how much I hate it when you mumble.”

“I’m not in the mood right now, Bo. I’ll let it sit a little longer if it’ll make you happy.”

“not in the mood, huh?” he hums, hand resting on the handle of the pan, shifting the meat around with a gentle shake. the cords of muscle in his forearm tighten. “I’m not in the mood for the fuckin’ backchat, now, either.”

“Bo.” you’ve never raised your voice at him before. not until now, at least. if he wants to try a proper relationship with you, he’s gonna have to try treating you like a person, too, you decide. “quit trying to start shit.”

the screech of him pressing the cast iron pan down and sliding it across the burner makes you screw your eyes shut. that’s when he decides to tip it out on the floor.

hot oil and liquefied fat spatter out onto the tiles and across your bare feet.

you’re out the side door and sprinting into the rain before he has time to grab you. the blinding pain of your burning skin is only made worse by the pelting rain. the field you’re in has some kind of bramble that keeps slashing across your legs, but the new blood doesn’t register over the animal compulsion to get away get away get far far far away.

even when he’s already fifty feet out from the house and into the pour, bo can hear you sobbing. it’s a guttural, ragged breath in, whine-shriek out that he remembers from your time under the garage. at one point he’d convinced himself he would never let you make that sound again. and look how well that’s going, he thinks. he stops and turns to go get the truck. you’re not faster than him, but he needs to be sure you won’t get out too far. he needs to.

when headlights flood the field with stark shadows, you drop to the ground. the grass is tall enough to cover you, but the path of fallen plants you’ve left in your wake will clue him in instantly. cold doom settles in your belly. your brief stint of freedom is already over. the blinding pain of the burns surfaces at the front of your mind again, and your face is hot with tears. streaked with mud, you stand again. the truck rumbles to a halt some ten feet away. you wait for his boots to hit the ground before you start running again. despite this, he’s on you in seconds. Bo barrels into you like an ox, shouldering you back to the ground. you land on your arm hard and do not move.

you do not move for the entire drive back. not when he gathers you in his arms so delicately, like he’s holding a porcelain doll. not when he pulls a wool blanket around your sodden body and bundles you into the passenger seat. not when he carries you piggy-back up to the bathtub, not when he pulls away your wet clothes and murmurs to himself about the state you’re in.

it’s when he reaches into the tub, for your hand to hold in his, that’s when you slap him away. he flinches away, lips pressed into a thin line.

“I-“

“what do you want?” you can’t think of anything else to ask. first he slaughters your friends, then he decides to spare you. he tortures you within an inch of your life, then decides to keep you like a pet. he locks you in a bedroom and treats you like shit, then changes his mind and convinces you you’re his lover. you can’t think of what he’s trying to do this time. he is silent for a frustratingly long time before he responds.

“… I wanted you to come home.”

“I was home, Bo! and you drove me out! I don’t know what else you want from me!” you splash the dirtied water at him on impulse, then immediately brace against what you know will come next.

you know it, and you see it start, too. you see his fist curl, the one with the thick silver ring on it that leaves the darkest bruises. you see it jerk towards your head, then stop. he drops his hand to his lap and seems almost ashamed. bath water drips from his jaw.

“it was… not right. I’m… I know that well enough.”

“no shit,” you scoff, scrubbing idly at the dirt on your arms.

“yeah.” his hand comes to rest on the edge of the tub. you don’t move, but are just as ready to crush it into the enameled iron. “I see myself doing shit that ain’t right all the time. I see it and I still keep doin’ it.”

“mmh.”

“i wanted to talk with you. at dinner. and… i wanted to break something, too. i’m always wanting to fuck with something. you… were just the closest thing around.”

“guess so.”

silence. the quiet sloshing of warm water.

“i wish the loving things part of me was bigger than the breaking things part.”

“i wish it was, too.”

he doesn’t come to bed. after drying off and laying motionless in the dark, you go to find him downstairs. for what reason, you aren’t very sure, yourself.

when you find him on the couch, he’s smaller than usual. he has his knees pulled up near his chest and his arms tucked close. the TV bathes the cluttered room in blue light that only makes his flushed face more apparent. he’s drank himself to sleep.

you reach out to touch his shoulder, and the moment his eyes open, his lip quivers.

“sweetpea,” he whispers, voice breaking. “i’m sorry i hurt you.”

“you being a sloppy drunk doesn’t make me believe you.”

“i know.” he drops his head back to the couch, still gazing at you. his eyes fill with tears, and you almost go back upstairs then and there, because you’re starting to feel bad. “i wouldn’t believe me either. papa raised a liar.”

“you know we don’t talk about your papa for a reason, Bo.”

“yeah, but it’s true.” his voice wavers, and his hand swings out in search of yours. you grab it, if only to keep him from knocking a bottle onto the floor and making a mess. “he raised a liar and a killer and a shit person.”

“anyone would turn out that way, growing up in this house.” you offer.

“this in’t an excuse, though,” he points to the scars on his wrist. “i chose to pour that hot shit out, not him.”

“that means you can choose not to, next time, also.”

“but nobody’s that patient. she’s so sweet to me, but i only got so many second chances.” he whimpers, seeming to forget he’s speaking to you. “i wouldn’t blame her if she ran out on me.”

“i think that so long as you keep opening up to her, like you did in the bath today, she’ll stick around.”

“mmh.” he hums, eyes drooping shut, but his hand remains firmly in yours. “i s’pose.”

“goodnight, Bo.” you have to peel his fingers off you and lay his hand against his chest to get him to let go.

“g’night.” you hear him sigh as you ease up the stairs once more.

you hear him tiptoe up the stairs a few hours later. you can only imagine it’s early-early morning, judging by the dusty purple sky out the window. he’s painfully slow about setting his boots down at the door. you can barely hear his breathing. his path to the bed is odd, until you realize he’s avoiding the loudest floorboards. he eases onto the bed slowly and presses his whole body against yours. you’re just as careful not to startle him, measuring your breaths, pretending to sleep. after much adjusting, tucking his chin over your shoulder, sighing, he tips his head close to your ear.

“i’ll get better. i promise. i’ll get better for you.” he whispers.

if only for tonight, you believe him.

[simonrileyss]

Nightmare / Simon Riley "Ghost"

(Don't know how to write a Y/N fiction that's why I'm writing like this)

Summary: Harley stays at Ghost's place after Makarov kills her family

Warning: blood, PTSD

Wordcount: 3752

I haven’t said a word since I got into the car with Ghost.

The best thing about the lieutenant was that he never asked many questions. In fact, he didn't ask anything.

To my surprise, I was relieved that I didn't hear his voice. I couldn't even imagine him being all empathetic, he was the embodiment of numbness.

Sometimes I wondered what had happened that made him this cold-hearted. Then I realized that I've had enough headaches to deal with, so I stopped wondering.

The other members of Task Force 141 were quick to pay their condolences but I didn't want to hear any of it.

Not because I didn't appreciate their kindness but because I hated to be reminded that I failed.

I failed as a daughter of two amazing people and I failed as a sister. And I can never forgive myself for that.

I had no tears left. I cried for days when I saw their crushed bodies in my bed after I promised them that I'd come home for Christmas.

Makarov made it clear that it was better if we didn't go after him and we didn't listen.

Now that he made his step and I was left with nothing, I felt less than nothing.

Finally hitting that certain hole in my life, I wasn't able to smile or even try to act like everything was fine.

I didn't want to give Ghost the satisfaction that he knew something like this would happen.

He'd always told me that I was putting my family in danger whenever I got onto the plane and did my duty.

And I always told him to go fuck himself.

I barely even looked at him after Price forbade me to go to the field then against my stubborn attitude, ordered me to put down my ghost mask.

I could only catch a glimpse of Ghost's eyes when Price let him know he’d be the one to ensure I was staying in my place.

So, here I was. Riding with Ghost to his home where I'd be completely cut off from the world.

No phones, no e-mails, nothing.

It was my job to grieve and let my family go but how could I do such a thing if I wasn't even able to look into the mirror?

Ghost turned the engine off and cleared his throat.

"This is it."

I sniffed and looked out the window. We were parked beside a one-story brick house with a small garden and a garage. The neighborhood was silent as if no one was living here except him.

I didn't even know what would I have expected from someone like Ghost but it fit him, I guessed.

"Are you planning on staying in the car?" Ghost interrupted my thoughts.

He was wearing his ski mask , which only exposed his intense eyes, but I could still tell he was getting impatient with me.

"If staying and spending the night in the car means that I wouldn't need to put up with your shit then yes." I fired back.

Ghost let out a tired sigh and got out of the car, slamming the door behind him.

As I watched him gather my bags from the back of the truck before heading toward the house, I realized that I had already changed, and not in a good way.

I was in no position to talk to him like that but I couldn't fight the anger that I felt toward everyone and myself.

A part of me could only hope that he understood why I was acting like that.

I climbed out and followed him to the entrance while studying my surroundings. I saw an older woman gazing through her window with curious eyes for a brief moment.

After serving with him for years, Ghost still looked intimidating and tall compared to me if we were next to each other.

I always felt small and fragile compared to him, and this time was no different.

”Any green or red lights, lieutenant?” I asked.

Ghost was fidgeting with his keys before opening the door.

”Just don’t touch anything,” he said flatly, gesturing for me to step inside.

Avoiding his cold stare, I walked into his house and looked around as he closed the door.

Ghost’s home represented his personality. It was silent, gray, and lonely.

There weren’t any pictures or colors to contrast the heaviness of his house.

”Do you live here alone?” I asked even though the answer was obvious.

Ghost walked past me to place my bags on the black couch that was fair.

”Yes,” his accent was thicker now.

I nodded and rubbed the back of my neck.

”Doesn’t it get lonely?” I asked and he froze in his place for a second.

I swear, I could see something flash through his eyes but it was almost unrecognizable. I didn’t know if it was sadness or something worse.

I had never seen Ghost be anything than firm and deadly serious, so finally seeing his mask cracking a little was something refreshing.

”No.”

I swallowed as I remembered how happy my family was whenever I got home from a mission. They were always worried but they believed that I’d come back for them.

And I always did.

Until it was too late.

Pain stabbed through my heart as I looked around Ghost’s house.

I couldn’t imagine living like that. Not having any connections or someone who’d care for me.

”It feels good,” I started and his eyes found me. ”I mean, coming home to someone.”

Ghost stared at me for a second before tearing his gaze away, shutting off once again.

”Does it?” Ghost echoed.

”Yes, my parents and my sister were always happy for me.”

Ghost remained in silence before speaking.

”And see how things ended for them.”

I felt my breath get caught in my throat. The coldness in Ghost’s eyes felt like someone just kicked me in the stomach.

I should have known that he was incapable of showing his emotions but I would have never expected him to throw the deaths of my loved ones back into my face when I was trying to reason with him.

This was low, even from him.

I could never understand how Soap or Alejandro could put up with him. He was always pushing my buttons because it was never enough what I’d done whenever we were on a mission.

I didn’t know if he enjoyed running down me or if he just didn’t feel where the line was but I was sick of his comments.

Ghost could probably see the brokenness in my eyes that was mixed with rage because something has changed in his posture and eyes.

Maybe now he did realize that he has gone too far.

”You know what?” I asked, my voice sharp.

Ghost didn’t say anything, just studied me as I stepped closer to him.

For the first time in these years, I was sorry that I was much shorter than he was.

Maybe if I got lucky I could punch him in the stomach but that would only happen if I was fast.

”I get it, okay?” I asked desperately, my emotions weighing me down like rocks. ”You are all alone and you have nothing to lose, good for you. But just because you choose to be alone doesn’t mean that other people, like me, are weak because they dare to love someone. And yes, I did hear you multiple times when you warned me that I was putting my family in danger. What do you want me to say? That you were right? Isn’t it enough for your ego to witness my downfall now that I lost everything?”

”Harley…” Ghost said in a soft tone.

”Of course, Simon Riley is perfect and knows everything, right?” I asked, ignoring his attempt to interrupt me. ”Well, guess what, not everyone is invincible like you. No one could ever compare to you. I’ll never be enough to do half the things you do. I’m not strong or unstoppable. I’m just a survivor. And I’m sorry that I have a heart.”

My eyes were burning and my stomach was flipping until the last word left my tongue.

I didn’t know what would come after this. He’ll probably kick me out. He’d have every right after the hateful speech I just gave him.

I thought I’d be relieved now that I lashed out at him but in reality, I felt even worse because he’s got nothing to do with any of this.

To my surprise, I saw no anger or frustration in Ghost’s eyes. How come a big guy with a skull mask wouldn’t put me in my place?

I rubbed my hand against my face as Ghost dropped his gaze to the ground.

Just when I was about to open my mouth to apologize, he beat me to it.

”You should be never sorry to have a heart.” Ghost said, his deep voice leaving no room for argument.

I watched him step closer to me with a dedicated look in his eyes.

”I’m giving you this one order and you better complete it, sergeant.”

It didn’t matter how much I wanted to turn away and hide from his glare, his eyes were always searching for me.

”Yes, lieutenant.”

Ghost stirred under my eyes for a few seconds.

”You’ll grieve your family and never leave this house until I say so.” Ghost said in a firm tone.

Despite my desire to speak my mind, I bit my tongue because I knew that it wouldn’t end well if I’d disobey him.

”Yes, sir.” I whispered and dropped my eyes to his chest.

Ghost gave me a small nod before grabbing my bags and walking away.

”This is where you’ll sleep,” he said and I turned around.

”I can sleep on the couch.” I offered. I was already a guest and knowing his hunger for loneliness, I was sure that he only had one bed.

Ghost stopped talking and glanced back at me.

”You really think that I’d let you sleep on the couch?”

I wiped my hair out of my face and blinked a few times.

”It looks comfortable.”

”That’s why I’ll sleep there and not on the floor.” Ghost finished.

I watched him in silence walk to the other side of the house before giving in and following him. I was already uncomfortable by being at his house, how would I manage to sleep in his bed?

Ghost’s bedroom was simple and somewhat small. There was a bed against the wall with a white bedside table and a closed wardrobe in front of them.

He put the bags down before glancing around the room and then turning back to me.

”It’s not a villa but it’ll do, I hope.”

I looked up at him, letting him see my most vulnerable side.

”Thank you.”

Ghost looked a little startled by my affection but he managed to pull himself together and give me a nod before walking away.

***

In the last few hours, I was sitting on Ghost’s bed and staring at pictures of my family. Some of them were torn but at least still were here for me.

My mother always insisted that I’d stay with them longer than I always did but duty was a duty.

Now I was sorry that I didn’t spend much time with them. I was always homesick whenever I was on a mission but the thought that I was doing the right thing helped me cope.

Three soft knocks dragged me out of my thoughts and I wiped my eyes before loosening my grip on the pictures.

”Yes?”

Ghost opened the door and glanced around before fully stepping in. He was wearing a black shirt with gray sweatpants that looked good on him.

I would have never thought that I’d see him wearing anything else than jeans and a vest but nothing was impossible now that I had to stay at his place.

He was holding a plate in his hand with a full taco on it.

I could feel my stomach grumble at the delicious smell of what he had just done.

”I made dinner.” Ghost said silently and walked toward me.

I put my photos aside and crossed my legs as he sat down beside me with a quick breath.

Eyeing the steamy taco on the plate, I felt my chest warm up a little.

”Taco?”

He glanced down at me before looking at the plate in his hands.

”You still like it, right?”

I furrowed my eyebrows and took the plate from him before he’d walk away with it and I’d end up starving for the rest of the night.

”I never told you what I liked.” I said and leaned against the cold wall behind us.

Ghost leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He fixed his gaze on the tattoos covering his arm.

”You and Soap keep talking about foods on missions.” Ghost reminded me. ”It’s kind of hard to ignore your drooling over fast food.”

I almost smiled but my face hurt too much. It was nice to know that he was aware of his surroundings.

”It has chicken and a little chili in it.” Ghost added before I started eating. ”You won’t even feel it.”

I didn’t like chili that much but I knew that it made tacos even better than it already was.

It was fascinating to realize that Ghost has been paying attention all along.

”Perhaps in the future, you might try eating something healthy.” Ghost said as I took a bite.

I gave him a side glance before swallowing.

”I didn’t know that you were quite the cook, lieutenant.” I teased him as I wiped the corner of my mouth.

”What, am I not allowed to have secrets?”

”Of course you are but after this don’t expect me to not want you to make dinner whenever we are working.”

Ghost tilted his head to the side.

”Don’t get used to it.”

As I enjoyed his food and while he was trusting me to let me find out certain things about him made I realized that he wasn’t numb at all.

”What if I tell Soap your secret?”

Ghost stood up and adjusted his shirt, his muscles jumping under his skin while his veins were hugging his lower arms like ropes.

”Then you are more than welcome to sleep on the couch.”

I shrugged as I continued to eat my dinner.

”My lips are sealed then.”

Ghost stopped in the doorway and I could have killed to see his face now.

”Good girl.” Ghost teased me before closing the door.

I felt better now that I wasn’t completely alone.

At first, I was afraid of how this would end but now I was more than sure that the broken pieces would eventually fall back into their places.

It was only a question of time.

***

”Mom? I’m here.” I called out with my hands full of bags, my hair crossing my eyes.

The silence was the only answer to my appearance which made me confused.

The lights were off, leaving me in wonder if they were already asleep.

Dropping my bags in the living room, I tiptoed up the stairs, coming to a stop in front of my sister’s door.

Creeping into her room, I was faced with darkness and when turning the light on, her absence was another question.

She rarely went out, especially if it was this late. There was no way she was outside.

Maybe they were awake after all.

I thought that I should fix myself before surprising them. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face as I fixed my hair and hurried toward my room.

I could hear their excited and relieved voices in my head as I opened my bedroom door.

It felt good to be home. I spent too much time hiding in ditches and targeting enemies.

I turned the light on and I almost fell to my knees.

There was blood everywhere. The carpet underneath my shoes was stained and the wall was crimson instead of sky blue.

I could feel my breath dragging as my eyes landed on my bed which was already occupied.

The lifeless body of my mother, father, and sister was thrown on each other, bathing in each other’s wet blood.

I didn’t know how long I screamed but it was long enough to make me lose my voice for the next few hours.

The longer I looked at their bodies and empty eyes, the more my heart broke and I eventually fell to the ground, their blood covering me.

I’ve never had a panic attack but I was sure I was suffering through one now.

My tears never stopped coming as an uncontrollable wave of sobs broke out of me.

It felt like someone kept tearing my heart out of its place over and over again.

It was jarring that it only took a few seconds of my life to completely turn upside down.

My screams were echoing in my ears and my throat was burning. The blood that was covering my clothes and hands felt like poison.

”Harley?”

My heart almost tore through my ribcage while an invisible hand was suffocating me.

”Harley!”

My bones were shaking as I saw cameras flashing in my bedroom, the sudden light blinding me.

Then the cordon slowly found its place like at every crime scene.

”Wake up!”

My eyes shot open and for a second I only saw a blurry figure blocking my vision.

I didn’t even think at first, I clenched my fist and swung my right arm but it was stopped midway by a strong hand.

”Easy now.” Ghost’s voice slowly sunk into my mind as I was trying to catch my breath.

Even though sweat covered my body, I was shivering. Coldness ran down my spine as Ghost’s grip was still holding me.

”Recognize me, now?” Ghost asked quietly.

I sighed and nodded. My chest was burning after all the pressure that’s been weighing me down in my nightmare.

Ghost’s eyes ran over me which made me feel exposed and vulnerable. Too vulnerable.

I didn’t like being this way and I especially hated that it was my lieutenant that had to witness this.

He was probably laughing at me on the inside. A grown woman crying in her sleep, how childish.

”Everything is all right, it was just a nightmare.”

His words cut through my flesh, opening my wounds, painful blood filling my heart.

”Not just a nightmare,” I whispered and pulled my hand out of his grasp.

He recoiled a little at my sudden outburst but watched me in silence as I backed up until my back hit the wall.

Suddenly, it felt like I couldn’t get enough space between us.

I had to make such noise in my sleep to startle him up while he was on the other side of the house. I was pathetic.

I didn’t even dare look at him.

”Do you need anything?” asked Ghost after a few moments of silence.

I wiped my face, trying to stop my lips from trembling.

”No.” I said. ”Unless you have a dream catcher somewhere in the house.”

Ghost let out a quick breath.

”I don’t believe in such things,” he answered.

I slowly looked up at him hopelessly.

”What do you believe in?” I asked, not wanting to stop him from talking.

His voice calmed me a little and I was selfish enough to keep him talking until he’d leave me alone again.

”That everything happens for a reason,” he said, looking out the window.

The sky was blurred with gray clouds, a soft thunder shaking them in the distance.

”What would be the reason behind all of this?” I asked. ” I chose an atrocious career? That I’m the reason they are dead?”

”I know that you don’t want to believe this but none of it is your fault.”

His answer frustrated me even though I knew he was trying to help in a way.

”How could it be not my fault? The only reason they were considered a target is because of me.” I choked out.

I was thankful that Ghost didn’t say anything or tried to convince me otherwise.

Probably because he knew that in this kind of state no one and nothing could change my mind.

”Come here,” he murmured and spread his long arms.

”I almost believed that you hug people.” I said flatly.

Ghost’s eyes glimmered in humor before he tilted his head to the side.

”I won’t ask you again.”

I furrowed my brows at his gesture but when I realized that he wasn’t joking or testing me, I pushed the blanket off myself.

Scooching over to him, my heart skipped a beat at his closeness.

Pushing my negative thoughts aside, I wrapped my arms around his torso. It didn’t even take a second for him to close his arms around me, pushing me into his firm chest.

At that moment I promised to never judge him or let my anger control my tongue.

I closed my eyes and listened to his heartbeat as he gently stroked my back, his other hand finding my hair.

It was crazy how fast someone’s opinion can change in only a matter of seconds or hours.

Simon Riley was a complex and morally gray person, I knew it. But I had no doubt that despite everything he had gone through that changed him into this cold person, he still had feelings.

When I felt myself relax in his arms, I knew that he’d keep me safe anytime if I’d let him.

”No one can compare to you, Simon.” I said, breathing his scent in.

I felt him move his head a little above mine before he dropped his chin on top of my head.

”That makes two of us then.”

[jww-archive]

I THOUGHT IT’D BE ME WHO HELPED HIM GET HOME. self para

It was quiet when she got back from Nashville. No sound of Beau — his tags tinkling or the telltale Heeler whine that generally came when she got home. No Ty, battling her 18 bags and doing his best to not ask why she somehow came back with more bags than she left with, and why she had another, different guitar. No food set out, his fingers not laced between hers and asking if she ate yet. Instead she stood in the foyer of her house, the world around her completely silent for once. It was a rare luxury, this quiet. Her phone was usually going off. Her bags were stacked there, where the driver unloaded them. And she stood there too. Silence. It wasn’t something she was used to. 

June flicked a light on to the rest of her house and shook her head. It was late. Exactly 2:13am. She sent Ty a text, I’m back at my house. She kicked her heels off, and slowly made her way to the kitchen, the house still so eerily quiet. She wished she didn’t give Beau back. Or that she left him with Vann all along and bought a different dog. The water was splashing into her cup from the door on the fridge and her eyes went to the wall outlet. 

There was a cord that was sticking out, plugged into a phone that was haphazardly shoved into the drawer. June was scared of it. Scared of what she’d find on it — artifacts of the life Jamie had cleaved her from in attempt to save the asset that was the June Watson Corporation that paid her a ridiculous amount of money. Now she was battling with new agents, working into the contract something of a reverse rate. There was incentive now to not push their asset (her) so hard. Bonuses, too, if they were able to hit certain targets with the least amount of dates on her calendar. Something that if it was built it, maybe she wouldn’t be looking at that phone.

The water started to overfill and June cursed. She grabbed a towel and mopped it up, distracted from the phone. Then she looked at it again. Current phone tucked in her back pocket, she finally dug into the drawer and fished it out. Her fingers collided with the space grey iPhone XR, the clear case had a polaroid of her and Vann stuck between the clear case and the phone. June stared at the photo. It was taken toward the end, and the low quality of the photo obscured the pain in both of their eyes. Instead, she saw both of them smiling, her in her place seated behind him on the couch. The photo didn’t show it it, but she knew her hands were around his waist, between the layers of clothing, ever careful to not hurt him more but wanting to touch him.

She swiped her truck keys off the counter and slammed her feet back into her heels. Wasn’t the best footwear for back roads but she didn’t feel like a costume change at the moment. She couldn’t fathom going upstairs, she’d lose her nerve. It had to be now, despite the shaking in her hands, the world of hurt she was about in step into. Working her way out to where the truck was parked and started it, she climbed in and tossed the phone into the cup holder, glancing at it like a totem that would come alive and bite her. 

She was spinning out of Iron Hill before long and then she turned onto a gravel road. The truck navigation left little breadcrumbs of where she’d been as she drove. It was impossible to get lost. She kept driving. The radio was on — some song that was reminding her of that phone, and man who likely occupied it — and finally she pulled over. She made sure she wasn’t in some farmer’s field and cut the engine off, the windows coming down. Crickets and lightning bugs illuminated the air around her. She clicked her seatbelt off and pulled her knees to her chest. A defensive move. Then she powered the phone on.

The Apple icon came on. She typed in her old password. Then — all at once — all the messages and voicemails and alerts started to populate the screen. The badges on her voicemail made her stomach roll. Her palms started to sweat, and her mouth filled with salvia. She clicked on it. Scrolling down she saw record after record of his name. Like some diary or all the letters he didn’t send because he was doing this instead. She knew they’d be here because he said they would. Maybe part of her was hoping that he’d suddenly turned into a liar. That all this was some elaborate rouse to fuck her up like she fucked him up. Except it wasn’t. And he wasn’t the type. Vann was a lot of things, but he’d only been purposely petty a handful of times and never like this. She, however, tore him apart for a second time and while she still felt she was forced to — it didn’t make this easier. 

She didn’t know where to start. So she put the phone down on the console. Her stomach finally rejected the anxiety and hurt, and she burst out of the door of the truck and stomped ungracefully into the tall grass to dry heave. June forgot she didn’t eat anything today, so there was nothing in there to really throw up. She’d been bad about eating, someone somewhere would’ve yelled at her about it. But she was alone now, and by her own doing. Not even the dog. 

June wiped her face, and walked back to the truck. The phone was staring at her. Backlight still on and illuminating the truck cab. Stepping up, she drank some water and then grabbed the phone and stepped back down into the tall grass. Wrong shoes for this. Her stilettos looked stupid and out of place here. Just like she did. She scrolled down the voicemail list again. It was him. In the beginning there were others. Other friends. But then, after about a month, it was just him. 

Walking down the gravel road. She knew she had to listen to one. The wound was already open. Plus, she’d already had enough anxiety over this to dry heave, so she might as well start to pay attention to this particular wound. She needed to clean it out. She tapped on a random one. He sounded drunk. She sighed. She might’ve laughed at his stupid joke if she didn’t recognize the numb, spaced out tone to his voice. He got worse. You couldn’t save me. Her eyes closed tighter, and she realized she was crying. She wanted to call him. Make him listen to himself. Make him hear what he sounded like and ask him if that was a man he even recognized. But what good was it? There was no convincing him that maybe she had a point, he was set in his justification of it and they already had that fight. No use on kicking a dead horse. 

She scrolled and clicked a different one. He sounded sober in this one. Sober and happy. Walked all the way across the ranch. She exhaled. Should’ve been there. But she wasn’t. Instead she was god knows where. Counting calories and staring blankly at the mirror wondering who she was. Just like she was standing here on this backroad and was wondering who she was now. Listening to the verbal diary and love letters of Vann Richmond, former NFR bronco rider and hopefully former pill addict. She scoffed. She couldn’t sort out her emotions around all this. “Is this what you wanted me to listen to?” June asked the stars like they were him - but she’d never say these words to him. “Your drunk, high, ramblings? Six months worth? God.” 

Still. She kept going. Randomly. Because a timeline was too much for her. She couldn’t listen in real time. The ones where he was wasted were too much. He couldn’t stand, but he was telling her he loved her? Sure, she asked him to wait, but this? Where was the sense in any of this? The later ones, while more sober, still hurt but in a different way. The lost her best friend sort of way. When they were done, all but the last, listened to them all again but the last. This time in order. This time she paced up and down that dirt road in her stilettos, the stars and the lightning bugs watching over her. This time, she only threw up twice from the feeling that she was kicked in the gut. From the realization and proof of how bad he got. He’d never tell her it was her fault, but somehow, he still blamed her. Still loved and blamed her all in the same breath. Her fingers hovered over the last one and she stared at the blue dot telling her it was unread. 

Hey Peach, hope you’re doing well. Hope Beau is being good. I ain’t good for anyone else. I love you. 

Again. Again. One more time. Her hands were shaking again. He said that to her not four weeks ago, on his stupid leaning porch. What was this? Why now? Walking briskly back to the truck she climbed in. Slammed the door shut, yanked it on in a way that her father would shake his head at. Backing up, she pulled out. Her foot slammed down on the pedal, the gravel and dirt spinning out from the truck wheels as the speed climbed. She wasn’t thinking, she was driving, spinning gravel going 65 down gravel roads that threatened to buck her and the truck into a tree. Wouldn’t that be her luck? To crash a new truck on a backroad when she was supposed to be alone. 

When the tires hit oil and gravel pavement, the tires made a squeal as she dropped the truck into 105, not giving a shit about any of the other people or sheriffs or whatever that could be hiding on these back roads. She saw a turn for another gravel coming up fast and she took the corner a little too fast and damn near clipped the street sign name and took it with her. Vann would’ve been white knuckled in the passenger seat. All the times she bailed him out of jail, and he figured they were gonna die on the drive back. That was the last time she had driven this pissed. Truth was, June was a hell of a driver. She just didn’t like to. Now though, she was churning gravel. Her panic settled and with that did her pace. She chewed her lip. Her mind was moving over and over. Yanking out pieces of herself. Examining them. 

It was a logical fallacy to think this was about the men. It wasn’t. This wasn’t a love triangle, this wasn’t some fucked up romance about one man being better than the other. It was about her. It was about who she was and who she wanted to be. It was about what parts of herself she gave up and what parts she wanted back — it was about being able to start looking in the mirror and recognizing who she was. She glanced at the rear view. Her eyes caught themselves in there. The beginning of the dawn streaking across the sky made them look more blue than their natural green. She recognized those eyes.

As the truck came out on the other side of gravel road — a county away — she knew she’d come to some sort of conclusion. It was early — even earlier in Texas. Yet, her mom would be awake. Her dad might’ve even made it back in for breakfast by now. She used her new phone, realizing that she’d been paying for both to be active and that made her even more mad. Three rings, and her mom was on the phone. You kept this from me? June’s voice was stone cold. Junebug? I - well, you have to realize. June shook her head. Put Dad on, I know he’s there. I can hear dishes in the background. There was a paused and then her father’s voice. June, what’s this about? Why you up so early?

June shook her head. Been up all night, Daddy. Listening to this goddamn phone. You know, the one you hid from me. 

Not sure why you think you’re able to swear at me, daughter.

What else you been hiding from me? What else he do that I don’t know about? While I was busting my ass on those tours, tearing myself apart because I was sick missing him? Sick from that decision I had to make? Sick because I thought he was dead, or he really didn’t give a damn? You know what that did to me?

Finally, her father’s temper erupted. Of course I do, June. Your mother and I watched you not even move from that room for three weeks. We watched you waste away until your bones started to show, we could see your damn collarbones. Your mother — she had lunch with him, he was drunk and high and all that shit, weeks after the show you were playing. You telling me that was what you wanted?

Vann’s voice on that voicemail rang in her ears: You look skinny.

I wanted to have a choice, Daddy. He wasn’t your choice to make.

No, daughter, he wasn’t. But when he came to ask you for your hand, I told him he could have my blessing for your hand when he gave you everything. When he gave it up for you, instead he put those goddamn pills over you. Then I got to watch my only daughter go through it. All shit that I had to go through when I lost my best friend. I didn’t want that life for you, that marriage for you. 

There was silence. June heard something she didn’t know. He asked you to marry me? She coughed. She was crying, and she wasn’t sure if it was sorrow or anger that had her in tears. She had never felt this angry with her parents in, well, ever. They’d always been on her side. But this didn’t feel like they were on her side. It felt like they were the reason why she was in this situation now. If everything else had been allowed to happen she would’ve either been with Vann or had closure. Neither of those things happened. And now she was ripping herself and two other mean apart at the seams trying to make sense of everything.

Yeah, that bronc bustin’ fool showed up and disrupted my life for like three weeks tryin’ to convince me, and when he finally did, I told him you were worth it all, everything he had to give. He had to give you that. He didn’t. He broke his promise, and I took my daughter back.

There was a long stretch of silence. June didn’t know what to say. That explained why he was so behind on winnings that year. Explained all the fights, explained it all. Her hand covered her face. I wasn’t yours to take back. I wasn’t and I’m not someone’s fucking property to barter and protect, I’m not some stupid girl that everyone apparently thinks I am. That was wrong, Dad. So, unbelievably wrong. Have Momma send me my things he sent there. I want them back. And don’t call me unless it’s to apologize.

She hung up. That was the biggest fight she’d ever had with her family. She shoved the truck into drive again, and spun out onto the road and sped back to her house. Once back in her driveway, she caught a look at herself. She attire she was wearing in Nashville that day — the crop top, black skinny jeans with the zippers, and her black stilettos were streaked with dust. Her face had a scratch on it from a bramble she accidentally stumbled into when she was throwing up. There were little dots of blood. Her eyes were swollen. And for the first time, she was recognizing herself. 

If people didn’t get in the way, this would’ve been easier. Stomping into the house, she yanked off her clothes, the stilettos and dropped them into the trash. They were destroyed. Making her way back to her things, she unzipped the luggage to find a new pair of shoes. Sneaker heels, a pair of high end joggers, and, well, she kept the crop top. Yanking out the toiletry bag onto the floor, she grabbed a make up wipe, pulling off the remains from a sleepless night. She needed a cup of coffee. The decision seemed to be made in her head. Now it was going about it. That was the harder part. 

She spun the diamond ring around her finger idly, thinking. She remembered what he told her when he asked her to marry him. She made a promise, she gave a man her word. It was shot to hell the second Vann turned back up in her life, and she pressed a palm into her face as she rolled up to the drive thru. She wondered what his mom would say about this if she were still alive. Girl he was engaged to all torn up over another man. June was the girl that momma’s warned their sons of, but they didn’t know it till later. A different sort of woman you didn’t realize to not bring home, the kind that put their hearts through hell because, she wasn’t easy. She was too wild, but wrapped in this pretty package, so they all thought they knew what they were getting. June didn’t have the dignity to be the kind that warned upfront. She spun the ring again around her finger. Rings meant there weren’t any doubts, there weren’t any contenders, there wasn’t a second choice — rings meant that there was but one and all the rest weren’t even a thought in her mind. Rings meant that she didn’t have to avoid bars, or look over her shoulder, half hoping to see another man and half hoping he’d fled the town. 

Rings meant all that, and she was doing the opposite. She was the only one in this promise was doing all the things she knew the ring meant she shouldn’t be doing. This was a permanent decision she was going to make, it wasn’t lost on her. June wasn’t really the come back type, despite what her patterns were with Vann. When she left someone, she generally was good and gone. It was humane that way. She jerked her head up and smiled at the barista that handed her the drink. She handed over the ten dollar bill and told her to keep the change and then pulled out. Rings meant all that, she thought as she spun the ring. Had it been a different ring, things would’ve gone different. Maybe. There were two choices here: one leaving and one coming back. She was pretty sold on one of them.

You couldn’t save me. 

She took a sip of her drink and continued to drive around, thinking more and more. It took her a moment and then she picked up the phone and called Karli. There were four rings and then a familiar voice answered the phone. I thought you died, but the grocery store tabloids kept tellin’ me you were alive. How you been?

June laughed, Hey. Sorry, I know it’s been a while. I got the save the date to your wedding, congrats.

Funny, haven’t gotten yours.  

June rolled her eyes. 

It still on? Or is it just for the industry folk, and little ol’ me ain’t invited?

The question made her pause. She didn’t say anything for a minute.

June? You okay? You generally ain’t this silent. Especially when I poke at ya.

Was she okay? That was a good question. Karli was the only person that June didn’t blame for anything. Staying out of the crossfire when it came to her and Vann was something she’d done from the beginning. She wasn’t the type to stand in the way, but also wasn’t the type to shove either of them in a particular direction. She was the only one who actually got a kick out of her and Vann since the start. Called her on her bullshit, and was, well, something of on his side. 

No. You, uh, heard from Vann lately?

I mean, Trace might’ve, but you know how Vann is. When he ain’t wanna be found, no one can find him. Except maybe you.

Yeah, yeah. He’s here. Iron River. 

Oh.

Did you know - I. Karli.

Karli just laughed, as if she knew what June was trying and failing to say. Oh, hun, you’ve always loved that man. Right from the damn start. I remember the way you looked at him on the dance floor. And he always loved you, hell, he was never one to keep a woman. Definitely not one to chase so hard after one. But you had him making phone calls and smilin’ and I remember this one time, we caught him lookin’ at you and... Trace and I agreed we never seen him look at someone like that. Not up until and not since.

He said I couldn’t save him though.

So? Being a white knight isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

That’s not, that’s not the point. He can’t trust me to help him, that’s what that means. 

No, that’s not. Damn June, been with that man for so long and you ain’t figured him out? Ain’t all that complicated. That means sometimes he’s gotta save himself, because he can’t stomach you doin’ it for him. He can’t stomach you going to war in his place. He gotta do it himself, and you can’t tell him the way he wars is wrong. That means, you gotta watch, because he ain’t need someone to do it for him, he ain’t need someone to fish him out. He can fish himself out. He just needs you to be there when he gets back and not judge him for how he tries to put himself back. 

June was silent. 

Karli spoke again, I think I know what you’re about to do. You wanna call me when you’re done? Or you can come here, if it goes bad or if you wanna skip town. Trace and I are out on the pacific circuit right now. 

June shook her head. I can’t skip out, gotta rip the band-aid and all... one more thing? He really miss rodeos in 2014?

Shit, June that was like seven years ago. 

I know you remember, you never forget anything.

There was a sigh on the other line and Karli finally answered. Yeah, I remember he missed a few big ones. Wasn’t like him. Couple weeks in a row. Asked him where he was at when he showed up again and he just gave me this shit-eating grin and told me I’d find out later on. 

June replied back, he went to Texas to ask my daddy to marry me, and apparently my daddy put him to fucking work and then about asked him to join the circus. 

Your dad never did like them rodeo boys.

No, not at all. We’re not talkin’ over that, and the whole... you know he hid my phone? It was an ugly fight I just had with him over that, and I quote, ‘bronc bustin’ fool’.

June Watson, in a fight with her family and fired her manager. Never thought I’d see the day. Even sounding more like yourself. 

June’s lips titled up, the praise and confirmation from one of her closest friends of that she saw in herself when she came home from the drive was nice. Thanks, Karl. For everything. I gotta go, but I’ll give you a call and let you know how it went.

If not, the grocery store keeps me up with the rumors.

[jdgo51]

Philippians: Chasing Happy

Today's inspiration comes from:

Beautiful Word Philippians

by Lori Wilhite

"Sometimes fear, anxiety, worry and panic can make my thought-life slide right off the runway."

"'A while ago, I was on a red-eye flight with a friend to Houston on my way to do some mission work in Guatemala. Red-eye flights are the worst. Trying to eke out a bit of sleep sitting up, with a neck pillow and cramped legs, is tough, to say the least. I think I had accumulated a whopping hour and a half of sleep when the captain came on the intercom and let us know that we might have a bit of a rough landing since it was raining in Houston. Too tired to care, I closed my eyes, leaned my head back, and determined to sneak in a few more minutes of sleep.

Suddenly, our plane hit the runway... hard. And immediately we started sliding to the left. We had another hard hit when the plane hydroplaned off the runway and into the grass, slamming into a field. Ambulances and fire trucks, complete with flashing lights, rushed out to our airplane.

So we did what any normal people would do at 3:30 in the morning when your plane slides off the runway. We took a selfie.

I don’t know about you, but, just like that plane, my thoughts can slide off the runway, too. And before I know it, I’ve mentally crashed. I’m in full-tilt panic mode. And I’m surrounded by sirens and emergency lights.

But the pathway from panic to peace is prayer.

Here’s what Paul says to the Philippians 4 starting in verse 6,

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Some commentators say that word “prayer” is better translated: a prayer whose essence is worship and devotion. Yes, we need to take our requests to God and ask Him for what we need. But prayer should start with worship.

It’s extremely difficult for a closed-fist posture of worry, anxiety and stress to coexist with the raised-hands posture of worship. When we come to God with open hands, acknowledging His goodness, recognizing His kindness, trusting His sovereignty and control, we release the worry we’ve been holding onto so tightly.

Maybe you’re not in a season where your worship looks like dancing and praising and celebrating right now. But you can bow down before the Lord and worship Him declaring:

Even in the midst of this heartbreak, I’m leaning on God’s faithfulness. Even in the middle of this hurt, I’m trusting God’s provision. Even in the center of this grief, I’m believing in God’s presence. Even under the intensity of this confusion, I’m following God’s direction. Even in the depths of this fear, God, I’m counting on you! We come to God with worshipful prayer, present our requests to Him, and then Paul says, the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. — Philippians 4:7, NIV

What is the peace of God? Charles Spurgeon says it is “the unruffled serenity of the infinitely-happy God...” It’s that calmness and peaceful tranquility that comes from a perfectly, infinitely happy God. It is beyond our understanding. It’s more than we can comprehend. It’s impossible for us to explain. But we know it when we experience it.

The pathway from panic to peace is prayer.

Anxiety ceases when we encounter the peace of an infinitely-happy God. When we rejoice in the One who is perfectly happy, we are filled with happiness.

Look again at Philippians 4:8. Paul says,

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me — put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Paul has already said that through prayer you can exchange your worry for the peace of God. Now, he’s saying that as you start to live out all of the things of God that you’ve fixed your thoughts on, the God of peace will be with you.

He is the source of peace. The maker of peace. The giver of peace. There is no true peace outside of Him.

The peace of God in you. And the God of peace with you.

When you’re discouraged and life doesn’t seem to be going your way, the peace of God in you and the God of peace with you.

When it feels like your work is hitting a roadblock, the peace of God in you and the God of peace with you. When you’re tired and have nothing left to give, when you feel broken and cry yourself to sleep, the peace of God in you and the God of peace with you. When you wonder if you’re the only one who’s struggling, the peace of God in you and the God of peace with you. When your marriage is hanging on by a thread, when your kids are rebelling and just breaking your heart, the peace of God in you and the God of peace with you. When you question if you’re enough and if God made a mistake with you, When you’re drowning in disappointment from unfulfilled dreams, the peace of God in you and the God of peace with you. Nothing in your life has to change for everything in your life to change.

You turn your panic into prayers and the peace of God will be in you. You fix your thoughts on the things of God and put them into practice, and the God of peace will be with you. That’s when you’ll find the happy you’ve been chasing all along."'

Written for Devotionals Daily by Lori Wilhite, author of Beautiful Word Philippians.

[the-firebird69]

John remillard is sheriff it's rude to you and reckon you you are not going to make it and it did it again the same routine and had him defecate in public and it is a misdemeanor has to be witnessed by law enforcement and was not and we know because he was hidden and we don't have anything else to say he's not admitting here. It's not easy to anything I said but really you're trying to threaten them for global conquest and having to take a poo and we get rid of you cuz we can see you cuz you're saying it out loud and you threaten other stuff which is worse and you see it around surgery and to harm him and we go after you. Just not really illegal it's not his property so once he's fired they're going to take the tape down

Thor Freya

What a wimp and a crazy person and really you people are nothing to stop threatening them and you got separated you're walking around weakest crap playing a huge guy he's got super strength right in front of everyone as if you can't do something to stop you it's ridiculous there's just sit here and watch it so we can get at you you're aggravating the s*** out of us or walking it out of this it's obscene a joke. He knows you do it to us you harm me this you're always the space with this huge enemy he'd rather waste yourselves than do anything that's understood you don't even understand the math don't even have a calculator. Here it is he's after him to get a motorcycle he won't says it you proceed blind arrogant swine. We stick you now pull you in loser trump

Tim d.

I saw it outrageous he's dead. Sherrif tomorrow tried ok left and ohhh he's an idiot and dead wow ok wow. She's doing the job he's saying it..no. is. We hit him ok.

Mike tew

We saw it awful crew then we walk him do diagnosis. See he's our King ours ok

Frank Castle hardcastle

Duke Nukem Blockbuster it says it too and sleep in a dumpster that's been decontaminated cleanse and is sealed and has a fresh air supply and what's the point and it's not hot that's what it is and we worry about it and we know the same but really but boy these people take the case is tomorrow the event is tomorrow we hope so he's out of control there's a complete jerk

Today they're firing tons and tons of them and their little show isn't going to help them. Delaware 10 individuals who went out and we noted who they were a little bit and to gather people from the Miami area and come across Florida four of them have passed away and we started with ten houses. Five houses went out and four houses returned it's another round today during the day and then state it too. It says he's treated badly it's not a team member you guys want to take over and don't know anything about life and you don't have friends you don't have real family it's ridiculous to do that to someone the bag of f****** idiot and we are aware of that and it's absolutely true. They treated like a little more honest treated like a stranger and don't care you're not going to go anywhere cuz it's not really what works. Jason's going with you you carry all the tools in and out of the truck do the work he's just going to stand there and talk to his people on the phone and blow it up your ass you know it's not life it's not even spying it's ridiculous s*** that's b******* and I bet he doesn't do that but boy it's close our son says that and yeah that's what they're like so they can't see what other people do and a whole bunch of them are dead on the field. They're taking off right after breakfast they say and after that song they can't stand it and no it's not the singing like our son thought and daughter.

We're cleaning up the mess and we have to but he says I'm probably just get a sample you know how to do that sort of so we're after it you want to see how and it's not a mystery but it's going to take a while and we tested the other one didn't see it apparently noon in Case by noon.

There are other things happening here in punta Gorda being announced it and give Thor Freya a break, there are several people who are getting fired from their jobs here and John remillard is one it's a five remaining jobs in each town and the sheriff's position is sheriff prumel and he's not trying to his own and holding it against him and he's not kind to our son and he doesn't have a good reputation it's not working. I'm taking it out on him but really the max are and if they're planning to do it it's the Year of the cat and you got it from Vietnam and saying the Vietnamese to it but they found it it's the second one for real and they're not worried about it they should be but that's how it goes in the back world. It's not only him it's about 8% more to come up to about 94% from 85 so it's about 9% roughly and somewhere in there and they plan on doing it today the government positions in all of Florida any plan on doing it pretty soon. It's a lot of positions yesterday and the day before they went after married and controller positions and today they're going after the sheriff the police fire departments councilman and other service positions such as head of public works and head of other departments and they're replacing them with Max and we are filling underneath rapidly and foreigners are grasping at jobs too. You're stating that they don't want to put money into a facility of ours or things so senses when I just duplicate it it's the idea it's not necessary to rip it off it's going to be there throughout the duration and this is not a bad idea keeps order and clones don't want it. And it stops to John hopefully to a degree. And these positions are huge they're important and you see them on TV all the time they haven't touched the state legislature is not true this overlap of characters now they haven't touched the state legislature or the federal legislature but it was talking about state governments so far it's not true these are public jobs and throughout the country they should reach 70% including federal jobs and the Senate and Congress to the last. And they're doing it almost completely upside down and it's to send a message to them that they know how it works and then it's ridiculous and it is they don't have people who think in their own and yeah it's similar across the board but okay. And there's some other things going on too but this is a huge day and it's a very sad day for a lot of people these positions are of power and a lot of power in this area along with those spots are the military which is in Florida and elsewhere too but here in Florida they're going to try and push them out of all the bases all at once at the same time it's a huge number of bases

More shortly

Frank Castle hardcastle

I got something to announce too we have a lot of stuff going on today and it's more than people want to talk about and it's more than they want to look at but it's happening they're trying to get in here again unsuccessfully do not very good at and they're getting hit they're getting laid out and a lot of them are getting hit really bad you don't have time right now for TBI and it's happening they don't have the energy to recuperate and it's happening let me see it's difficult today would be terrifyingly bad for warlock didn't try and leave a lean on her son heavily hospital jail all sorts of things will start to work now here we need more people more facilities we had to do it last night and for his request and still not enough we need a lot more here and pronto so I'm ordering it now

Duke Nukem Blockbuster

We're following through and doing it too and a lot of it and we're assessing it now

Olympus

[bindtorturekillme]

Your Eyes, Vacant & Stained

Ch.4 - 5k

Pairing: Frank Iero x Gerard Way

A handful of loud snapping sounds came from nearby, "Uh… guys?" Ray's voice sounded panicked.

"Yeah?" Gerard yelled back, Frank checked the mirrors but didn't see anything.

"The house with the red shutters!" Frank saw Ray pointing towards a house.

Warnings 

Gore, Death, Murder, WORK-IN-PROGRESS, not completed (and chapters unknown) but I know the ending, trust me guys I will write it, I just need people to love this idea with me, Zombies, Gay, mcr??

Support my AO3 with part four otherwise, enjoy ♥

Chap.1 | Chap.2 | Chap.3 | Chap.5 | Chap.6 | Chap.7 | Chap.8 | Chap.9 | Chap.10 |

The truck could only fit two comfortably, three if they squeezed, Ray and Mikey decided to take the trunk since they were both large in the shoulders. The roads were far from clear on the way to their next city, Gerard called it Mesq “With a Q”. He spoke with an accent that sounded like a cowboy impersonating a French man that made Frank laugh.

They drove slowly through large pile-ups, around bodies and potholes. Frank hung his arm out the window while Gerard drove. They didn’t come across many undead that were still walking, but when they did, Ray or Mikey would usually wind up their bats and spike their heads. Frank’s gut twisted every time one’s head blew up, he wasn’t able to comprehend how they were so okay with murder.

He checked his phone over and over again, but there were no new notifications. Frank wasn’t the type of person who was on social media, he barely gave anyone his phone number. But it was over forty-eight hours since he was in contact with anyone he knew, so he had forced himself to reach out. If Gerard was telling the truth, New Jersey wouldn’t have been hit yet, The Virus was barely into Utah. 

His first outgoing text was to a group chat he created with his parents and brother, at first he had no idea what to even say to them. He wasn't the type to reach out, but he told them he would let them know when he got back from this trip, which was supposed to be the previous day. He texted them as the group was piling their stuff into the truck. Frank sat in the passenger side with his duffle at his feet. He stared at the phone for a long time, typing up whole texts just to hate them and delete it all. Eventually, he settled with “Got caught up, not sure when I'll be back. Get to safety, if you’ve heard about the zombies, they’re real.” Now, they’d been driving for almost an hour and he hadn’t heard anything back. Frank gnawed at his lip but shoved his phone back into his pocket, attempting to push away the thought of his family.

Gerard glanced over casually, his sunglasses hid it from Frank. The handful of CD’s Frank discovered in the truck earlier didn’t satisfy Gerard, but he always kept two albums with him, he expressed they are "essential to him no matter the circumstances"; The Smashing Pumpkins’ Mellon Collie and Nirvana’s In Utero. They weren’t Frank’s favorite, but he didn’t judge. He wondered whether or not the music choice was why Ray and Mikey offered Frank the front.

Besides the numerous pile-ups everywhere, the skies were clear, the desert stretched far and the mountains cooked in the sunlight. As they drove, the trees got thicker and grass began to cover the ground. They drove almost an hour and a half before seeing the city sign they were looking for. They slowed down in front of it. A truck has driven through half of the sign, leaving just M-E-S-Q. Frank wondered if Gerard had scouted up here without him knowing, when he checked the map on his phone, it said they were in a city called Mesquite, but he continued to refer to it as Mesq, mimicking Gerard's bad accent every time.

A church had finished burning to their left, all that was left was charred pews, blackened ceiling beams had smashed into the confessionals and steeple. The giant marble crucifix with Jesus was still standing, though blacked from the smoke. A green field began to spread in front of them on the opposite side. Gerard had slowed as they drove into the city. A burning police car was turned over in the middle of the street they were following with more cars on either side like a barricade, bodies were everywhere, a semi was tipped over, crushing a few cars, a patch of cacti and more body parts. Between each mountain pass, Frank was able to see they followed a river and before long the mountains fell.

“I think we made it…” Frank’s low voice reached out the window to Ray and Mikey in the bed. 

Ray turned his head in towards the truck's back window, “Guys, is that a golf course?” 

Gerard chuckled menacingly, “I think you might be right!” He sped the car up, Frank gripping the handle above his door. Mikey got off his butt and started squatting in the trunk, looking like a meercat making sure it's safe to keep going, while Ray used his arm to hold on to the frame around them. Gerard swerved around some bodies but drove over ones that were macerated and unrecognizable. 

They followed the golf course until it ended, then they took the first ramp off highway 15 and quickly found the entrance to the course. The course reminded Frank of the hotel he woke up in. It wasn’t free from bodies and blood but there was a lot less dead here than the last few cities he'd gone through.

“Okay, before we settle here, we’re going to drive around a little bit,” Gerard explained to everyone but mostly for Frank. “We scope the neighborhood out in the truck first, for an easier getaway. This truck is… louder than what we like but at least we can outrun them.” Frank nodded in understanding and Gerard went past the course.

They didn’t go too far, another church was surrounded by a neighborhood that spanned three blocks. They turned down a street and Gerard instantly noticed a half eaten woman who was being dragged by three dogs, the dog's leashes were tied to her wrist, “I don’t think we’re in a safe-zone anymore…” Gerard grumbled.

Frank had his chin resting against the open window as he watched the zombies stand around, fumbling in their yards, he even noticed some inside the windows just staring at their tv’s that still aired reruns of pre scheduled shows. Occasionally one would notice they were driving past and Ray or Mikey would have to wind their bats up again. Ray made a joke about mailboxes and zombie heads feeling the same against a bat, but Frank’s ears were ringing as Rape Me by Nirvana played for the nth time. It wasn’t loud, but to Frank it sounded like the volume was on max.

Frank’s ears rang more, the truck's buzz was gone and he saw black fuzz around his vision again. Kurt Cobain’s voice moaned “rape meeee…… rape meeeee, again……….”, the louder his voice became, the more muffled it sounded. Eventually Kurt’s repeated screaming made Frank feel like he was at a bad house party, trapped in the bathroom while the music pounds at the door. A memory attempted to form, but Frank fought back. As his vision blackened slightly more, he whipped his head up and around to look at Gerard. Gerard wasn’t singing anymore, he definitely didn’t look relaxed. 

The bathroom Frank felt trapped in shrunk and his breathing got hard. Claustrophobia suddenly kicked in, Frank didn’t feel claustrophobic often, he knew he didn’t know how to handle it as his body grew hot and his head felt light. Anger bubbled in his chest like a cauldron about to boil over. He smashed the eject CD button and threw the CD down to Gerard’s feet. He turned back out the window, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in while a thick gust of air blew into his face.

Crunching gravel prevented a silence from happening, and it happened too fast for Gerard to realize what was going on. Frank opened his eyes again and turned back to Gerard, he pretended not to notice Ray and Mikey also staring in at them. “Sorry. Sorry, I just- It- Ugh.” Frank took a deep breath. “We’ve listened to that song a lot.” Frank’s head hung. Ray and Mikey quickly turned their backs to them again.

“Hey,” Gerard stretched his arm out and grabbed Frank’s leg. “You’re safe with us, there’s only a couple of us left, we gotta stick together.”

The cruise ended early when the truck coughed. Every zombie at the six closest houses whipped their heads towards the truck. Gerard cursed under his breath and grabbed the wheel with both hands, the zombies began approaching quicker than before stumbling over their own feet, some dropped hard onto their faces as they ran. 

Frank frantically looked around in front of them, attempting to remember which way the golf course was. 

A handful of loud snapping sounds came from nearby, "Uh… guys?" Ray's voice sounded panicked.

"Yeah?" Gerard yelled back, Frank checked the mirrors but didn't see anything.

"The house with the red shutters!" Frank saw Ray pointing towards a house.

"A good couple of these houses have red shutters, dude!" Gerard hadn't noticed Ray pointing, but Frank moved to stick his head out the back window to see which house it was.

A pack of hunchback creatures on all four paws were creeping out of a nearby home. Most of their jaws were intact and drooling a mix of saliva and blood. The creatures seemed to be dog-like, but most had chewed off tails or ears, and some of their legs were swollen with muscle. They were a sickly ash-brown color with huge circular lesions all over their bodies that were most likely bites that got infected. One of the creatures was much larger than the rest, thick with muscle but still covered in lesions, this ones skin was drooping and slopping off onto the ground. This one was also missing it's entire snout, a weird array of teeth protruded from the chunk of meat that was left of his face.

Their eyes traced the truck as the group stared. Swollen bloodshot eyes with little white left, their irises almost glowed neon yellow at certain angles.

The ones that were able to snarled and snapped, Gerard had slowed the car unintentionally as he was distracted by the hyena-esc scene developing before them. 

“You guys never mentioned zombie animals!” Frank’s frantic voice cut Gerard back to real life. A zombie screamed as it slammed its arms against the hood of the truck, all of them had been so distracted with what was behind them, they didn't realize the zombies were closing in. Francis realized quickly he was trapped.

In one swift move, Gerard shook his head, grabbed the wheel with both hands and said, “We didn’t know about them, either” before smashing his foot into the gas pedal. The zombie on the hood slid off and Gerard turned the wheels around it, crushing it's legs and making the truck jump on one side.  

Frank fumbled with his phone to get a map up again, Ray was making frantic sounds behind him that he couldn’t make out while Mikey stayed virtually silent as he smashed the zombie from the hoods head and watched the hungry beasts barrelling down the road at us.

The houses all looked the same as they rounded the corner and Gerard turning down every random turn he could didn’t help. To them, it felt like an infinite loop until ever so often the sound of a loud smash and pop as one would get too close and Mikey would use its skull for batting practice. 

“Take a left!!” Frank’s arm shot up over Gerard’s vision. Gerard slapped his arm down, swerving off the road momentarily. 

“Where?!” 

“HERE!” Frank grabbed the wheel this time and twisted it, Gerard felt a slight burn and the whole truck tipped more as Mikey got onto his knees and nearly hung out the side of the truck bed. Frank looked out the back window, “Mikey, I know we’re in danger, but can you sit FOR FIVE MINUTES?!” His anger was bubbling up and he knew it was the lack of alcohol.

Mikey’s stern face, although emotionless, sent a cold chill down Frank’s spin when they finally met eyes. “Drive better, I’m the only reason you’re alive right now.” Mikey turned away without giving Frank a second thought, only making Frank’s alcoholic anger boil. Ray was incoherently yelling still as he smashed down two more zombie dogs that had attempted to bite him. 

The golf course began emerging from the horizon like a mirage and Frank began laughing with relief. Gerard looked over at him a couple of times, unsure of how to respond as he noticed Frank was silently weeping as he laughed. 

Gerard checked the rearview, Mikey and Ray had taken out a good few dogs, he could only see four left. Each of them were running at different paces, snapping at the wheels and the back bumper. The most muscular one was staying behind the pack, Mikey had been watching that one since the houses. When it wasn't the first to attack, Mikey became suspicious.

“Give me your gun.” Frank held his hand out to Gerard, who was frantically looking back and forth between the road and mirrors. 

“What?”

“Give me your shotgun!” Frank pointed at it.

“I can’t,” Gerard grabbed the gun and wiggled, it was seemingly stuck between his seat and the car door.

“You didn’t notice?!”

“We were driving for TWO HOURS!” 

“GUYS!!” The sound of a loud popping made Frank and Gerard stop and turn to Mikey. He smashed another dog down, now only three were chasing. Ray was waiting for his moment to hit another. “The golf building is open.” 

Gerard and Frank followed Mikey’s point to see a giant gate to an employee’s only parking lot was now totally open, tall brick fences protected the lot and two people stood just inside the gates. They were getting close, “You need to slow down!” Frank shouted, a splattering pop interrupted him and he winced. Only one dog was left. 

Gerard let up his foot and let the car cruise to a slower speed, the dog was bounding at them now, snarling disgustingly with saliva and blood splattering everywhere. Ray and Mikey both got onto their knees and readied their aim as the final dog came at them. The two bats greeted one another after a loud splattering pop, aluminum meeting wood, the wood splintered loudly.

The final dogs head was gone and it's body slumped. Gerard and Frank attempted to catch a glimpse of the dog when Ray screeched. The creatures legs continued to run. At first they slowed and nearly stopped, but they quickly started running in place as if it was still going after them. Then the body started to wiggly more and Ray yelled about needing to get moving.

They rolled up to the golf course parking lot, carts and RV’s were littering the space. A large gate that separated the lot from the street closed behind them.

Two women stood together in matching uniforms, guns held defensively towards the truck. The truck slowed and came to a stop right in front of them, the women stood motionless but the gate behind them creaked shut.

Gerard gave them a wide grin and energetic wave. As either girl walked around each side of the truck, they demanded everyone get out, drop their weapons and undress. With very little protest, the group complied. Ray and Mikey left their bats in the trunk and raised their hands as they hopped out, Gerard and Frank flashed the girls their weapons before placing them on their sits.

"Make sure the gun isn't stuck next time..." Frank whispered to Gerard as they were putting their weapons back. Gerard's face went red before they turned their backs to each other.

"No! Not out here!" One of the girls exclaimed, everyone turned to look and saw Ray was taking his shirt off in front of the shorter of the two girls. "Go inside." She hid behind one hand as she pointed forward into the garage with her gun. Ray slid his shirt back down, chuckling before starting forward. Each girl stood behind two of the guys with their guns to their backs.

The girls introduced themselves as Scarlet and Charlotte, both had been employees and working when the virus came through. Their uniforms looked clean enough minus a few bruises and some torn seams. They made the men strip to check for bites, “Our boss turned after he claimed he wasn’t bitten,” Scarlet huffed out as the group got their redressed.

“We knew we couldn’t trust him, we won’t be that dumb again.” Charlotte finished and both girls sneered together at the thought of their now-zombified boss. They kept their guns pointed at the group, but brought them back outside to grab their weapons.

When the girls first introduced themselves, they had to reassure the group they were not related. Although, to the guys, they looked as though they could be twins, they looked exactly the same yet completely different.

Scarlet was nearly a foot and a half shorter than Charlotte, Charlotte’s small but long arms resembled slender man whereas Scarlet's short, round body was closer to the Venus of Willendorf. Scarlet kept her hair long and blonde whereas Charlotte’s was short and very clearly dyed a bright red. Charlotte kept her face bare, Scarlet, although smudged, still had a full face of make-up with lashes still attached.

Charlotte led the group, Scarlet followed behind everyone, through a small lobby area, then a hallway and a few doors. A small grouping of cubicles had been dismembered and recreated into a good sized barracked room. They had two makeshift beds made out of two couches and a handful of loveseats. A mini-fridge still ran in the corner next to a floor fan that wasn’t on, they had dismembered some of the desks in order to cover more of the windows that faced outside much like what the guys had done at their warehouse.

Maybe this group getting bigger is a good thing... Frank's head swam as everyone filed into the room. It felt cramped even with Frank and Ray standing by the door.

Gerard and Mikey each found a hole in the blinds to peer through and saw the perfectly manicured green stretch for miles; they couldn’t see the end. The green also had a handful of zombified people lingering slowly, a couple golf carts were overturned, some with struggling and unmoving zombies stuck under them. 

“Oh hey, if you see the fat, old, bald man with the giant “fuck-you” hat, that’s our boss.” Scarlet chuckled, not holding back.

“Yeah, we weren’t really able to kill him…” Charlotte added, quietly.

“Well, how many are out there? There’s six of us now, I’m sure one moaner can’t take six of us.” Gerard wondered out loud innocently. 

“Well I can tell there’s more than-” Mikey began speaking when Charlotte and Scarlet busted out laughing.

“Did you just say MOANers?!” Charlotte howled, Scarlet held her stomach.

“I told him it was bad.” Frank interjected, Ray snickered next to him but covered his mouth with his hand.

“God, do most men only ever think with their dick?” Scarlet wiped a tear from her face.

“What do you mean?!” Gerard pulled from the window defensively, Mikey ignored him and continued to search outside.

“It sounds like boner!” Charlotte and Scarlet made each other laugh again.

“I told you.” Frank looked at Gerard who was red in cheeks but not backing down.

“Okay then what would you rather call them? Zombies like every other cliche?! Who even says they qualify as zombies?!” Gerard was throwing his hands around as he spoke.

“That's what they are!” Scarlet, Charlotte, and  Frank all said in unison causing Scarlet and Charlotte to start giggling. Frank didn’t take his eyes off Gerard, Gerard lingered on Frank so long he wondered what Gerard was thinking.

"They can't die unless you kill their brain, so," Scarlet began.

"What else do they need in order to "qualify as a zombie"." Scarlet and Charlotte air quoted in unison as Charlotte finished.

Ray leaned close to Frank's ear and whispered, "I know they said they aren't blood related but I'm starting to think they were one brain that was split between two robots." Frank covered his mouth as they giggled together, Gerard was too distracted by the girls to notice.

“Come on, there’s a million names we could use, do we need to use the sexy one?” Scarlet said.

“How is it sexy?!” Gerard defensively crossed his arms.

“Besides it rhyming with boners, it’s literally Moan. Moaners. Moan.” Scarlet mocked a moan as Charlotte explained.

“That. Is. The. Sound. They. Make.” Geoff overemphasized.

“Actually it sounds more like a gurgling, growling screech but-” Scarlet jumped in.

“Guys!” Mikey’s deep voice boomed off the small walls as he pulled away from the window. “Can we move on from this? Who cares what they’re called. They can't die unless we smash their entire bodies, actually, so we need to learn more about this virus before we should even care about what we call them."

“Smash their entire body...?” Scarlet started.

"Everyone, come here," Mikey moved back to looked out the window, eventually, after moving a desk, everyone was able to find a spot to look outside. A handful of people roamed aimlessly, bodies still wriggled under some turned over carts. It took a moment to find again but Mikey directed everyone's attention towards a creature on all fours, missing a head.

The creature was walking around, if it bumped into something, it would just turn towards a new direction and start aimlessly walking again until it hit something else.

"What... is... that..." Scarlet whimpered.

"Has anything had zombie dogs before?" Charlotte sounded panicked.

"A few things have, actually," Mikey told her, "but I've never seen a zombie continue to work after it's head has been decapitated."

"Is that the same-?" Ray trailed off, Mikey responded with a quick 'yup'.

Okay, so, we we all saw that things head explode, but it's still moving... Frank was going over every trope he could think of, "Maybe we need to burn the bodies?"

Gerard groaned. "If we need to burn their bodies, they might as well be braindead vampires."

"But they don't suck our blood." Frank argued.

"No, but they do still eat us." Mikey interjected. "So, we'll need to keep an eye on that." He pulled away finally and everyone copied. "We should become more acquainted if we want to work together." Mikey was so stoic and straight forward, Frank thought sometimes he was a robot, he never saw him even crack a grin.

How do you not cope with humor?

“Weeellll... This is where we sleep! And eat… and hide for most of the day.” Scarlet attempted to help Mikey move the conversation on. The creature was outside, therefore not an issue until they needed to go outside again. Frank and Ray had stepped back towards the door to eliminate the closeness from the window gazing.  

“But, we have another whole set of cubicles just a little farther down the hallway, we just haven’t been back there to do much.” Charlotte began walking out, Frank and Ray moved to let her through then followed close behind. 

The cubicles down the hall were disheveled and abandoned but there were no bodies and most of the blood that did plague the room was stained into the carpets and dried. 

“We don’t have much more for furniture…” Scarlet interrupted from the back of the group, each person slowly moving in. 

“But we can definitely probably break into one of those RV’s in the back.” Gerard was always looking for some way to commit a crime in a lawless land, Frank’s stomach twisted with excitement and hope for a real bed to sleep in. He wondered if they’d have to share RV’s, he couldn’t recall how many were in the lot when they pulled up since he was more concerned about the dogs that were chasing them then the guns being pointed at them. He hoped if they did have to share, he’d be able to convince Gerard to be with him. 

“Is there a reason you guys haven’t tried that yet?” Ray’s voice snapped Frank out of his daydream that almost went too far. Scarlet and Charlotte exchanged a nervous look and laugh before addressing the question.

“We just weren’t sure if those RV’s were clear of zombies or not so we figured it would be safer in here,” Scarlet began.

“Our boss was helping us, it was the three of us left, that’s how we have these.” The girls held up their weapons before Charlotte continued. “He had a bat, we just aren’t sure where it went… Before he turned, he asked us to…”

“Y’know,” Scarlet put her thumb to her throat before slicing across it. “So we brought him outside, thinking we’d keep the blood outside and not contaminate anything else in here. Right when we were about to do the deed,”

“We realized we totally forgot the gun.” When Charlotte took over again, Frank felt a pulse behind his eye and his whole skull cap THUMPed… THUMPed… “So we had to go back inside,”

“Find the guns,” Scarlet pointed out.

“Find the guns,” Charlotte reiterated dramatically. “Then go back outside,”

“And LITERALLY old yeller the guy. So, we head back outside, right?” 

“We round the corner where we left him and BOOM!” The four men each jumped at the same time as Charlotte yelled in their faces. 

“He’s totally gone.” Scarlet tightened her lips in disappointment. “So, obviously, we weren’t going to just sit outside and wait to be eaten.”

“HELL no. We came back in, hunkered back down in here and watched outside for a little bit before we saw him drag his ancient feet across the green.” The girls stopped talking, looking satisfied with their story.  

"Well." Ray broke the silence that lasted too long. "We can take care of him before we leave,"

"Are you guys thinking about leaving already?" Charlotte interrupted, looking around panicked.

"We don't have to come with you, but we need help getting our boss!" Scarlet pleaded.

"Yeah, we wanna at least fulfill his wish before we lose your help..." Charlotte added.

"We definitely aren't leaving yet," Gerard said. "And we aren't opposed to you guys coming with," Frank noticed Mikey roll his eyes and slump against a wall. "But, we'll definitely need a bigger car, so breaking into those RV's might be our only option..." Gerard pondered out loud while the two girls exclaimed excitedly together.

As soon as the room quieted down, Frank's stomach growled, he keeled over a little with embarrassment but they had not made enough food for him to get more before they left this morning. God dammit... Everyone turned to look at him.

"We'll go to the kitchen next." Scarlet walked out the door before anyone could say anything, and they all followed, twisting through only a couple doors. The kitchen was huge, bigger than the rooms they were sleeping in, and all of the appliances were stainless steel.

Multiple refrigerators and bread racks held buckets worth of food. Some prepped foods sat waiting to be put together, an entire parties worth of premade and wrapped dinners also took up most of one of the refrigerators. "We've basically been living off of these," Scarlet handed one up to Frank, he was the shortest one in the group but Scarlet made him feel tall, she barley made it to his chest with the top of her head.

He pulled the saran wrap off the plate to see a pile of mashed potatoes, a smaller pile of mixed vegetables, and three breaded pork chops laying neatly half off the last one. Scarlet continued to hand out the pre-made dinners to everyone, including Charlotte, who took two, most likely so Scarlet could eat as well. No one denied the food, Scarlet pointed to a set of three microwaves all stacked next to a bread baking oven that they all convened around as they warmed the food.

Over dinner, Gerard and Ray explained everything they knew about the virus to Scarlet and Charlotte much like they had to Frank the first night he was with them. This time Frank added his own story of how he woke up  in a hotel room with two of his dead coworkers, Charlotte 'aww'-ed but Frank shut it down saying he barley knew them, he was just afraid he had killed someone. He chuckled at himself but no one else responded how he thought they would, he cleared his throat  and got up, putting his plate into a sink that already had a few empty plates it in, left them there as they continued the conversation.

[dreamwritesimagines]

Burn The Witch 23 - Haunted Heart [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: Coming home can cause issues.

Series Masterlist

                          SIX MONTHS LATER

You flipped the knife in your hand as the guy tied to the chair glared at you.

“You know,” you trailed off, “I’ve had a really shitty couple of months, Johnny- can I call you Johnny?”

“No.”

“Rude,” you commented, “Fine. John. I’ve had a really shitty couple of months so you really don’t want to try me right now. Just tell me where I can find your boss.”

“You’ll never find him you stupid bitch.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Since I’m going to kill you in a couple of minutes I feel like I can share some things with you,” you said, “My best friend says I keep everything bottled and I should talk about my feelings.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“See, that’s exactly how I feel!” you pointed at him, “Thank you. I mean, I feel angry at myself. I kind of fucked up with the man I love.”

“Jesus Christ, just kill me already.”

“I’m waiting for a text to do that Johnny,” you pointed out, waving your phone at him. “So, I tricked him and used him and threw him to wolves. And then Accords 2.0 didn’t pass and he has been pardoned once again, and he’s a free man now. I have a strong feeling that he’s not the ‘forgive and forget’ type of guy. You know, assassin to assassin.”

“You’re the chattiest assassin I’ve ever met.”

“Thank you, I’m trying to improve myself,” you said, “I mean what exactly should I do? I don’t even trust my agency at this point, my handler lied to me and I have been at this fucking place for six months now, hunting you down. Well, your boss but…”

“You’ll never find him.”

“We’ll see about that my friend,” you said, “So anyway, like what am I supposed to do? I lost the one guy I actually loved. How do you cope with that? Because drinking doesn’t work, sleeping with others doesn’t work…. Nothing seems to—“ you were cut off when your phone vibrated and you touched the screen to open the text message.

From: Julian

Go for it.

“Wait, no no no, I’ll talk—“

“Kind of too late,” you pointed the gun at him, “Nice to meet you Johnny.”

With that you pulled the trigger, silencer doing its job as there was no loud bang or anything. His body fell back with the impact, and you heaved a sigh.

“Maybe I need a therapist I can’t kill,” you mumbled and walked out of the warehouse to approach the car before opening the door to the passenger seat to get in.

“Is it done?” Julian asked and you nodded, rubbing at your eyes.

“Yep.”

“Are you hungry?”

You made a face, “Just because the General sent you here does not mean we’re going to become buddies.”

“I’m not trying to become buddies with you,” Julian stated, “I just want to eat fries and there’s a two for one deal.”

You eyed him up and down.

“Fine, I could eat fries.” You leaned back in the seat as he started driving, keeping your eyes on the road. Soon enough, you reached the city center and Julian got fries from a food truck, then sat across from you.

“So,” he said, “You do realize this whole thing would’ve been over by now if we actually worked together?”

“I’m not going on the field with you.”

“The General sent me here to help you.”

You dipped the fry into sauce, then popped it into your mouth, “You can help me by pretending you’re not here.”

“Y/N.”

“You know what they say Julian. Fool me once…”

“Don’t tell me you’re still holding that grudge.”

“You mean when you left me behind to die on the last mission we were together?” you asked back, “That grudge?”

“I told you—“

“I’m not going to talk about that with you,” you cut him off, “And I work better alone. Who told you we could waste the guy by the way?”

“The General.”

You grabbed the salt shaker to pour some salt on the fries, causing Julian to make a face.

“Are you kidding me? That was salty enough-“

“Why did he not text me?”

“No idea. Maybe he’s avoiding you because he promised you handler and here you are. Field spy.”

Your jaw clenched.

Or maybe he’s avoiding me because he fucking lied to me.

You had to give it to him, it was the perfect plan. The moment he had suspected you were getting too close to Bucky, he had come up with the one thing he knew that would make you switch sides.

And that-

That was below the belt yes, but that was also masterly.

But at the end of the day, you barely had two people to trust in the entire world, and you seriously doubted you could ever forgive the General for what he had done. You knew he held duty above all, above family and surely above you, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

You shook your head at yourself and grabbed another piece of fry.

“So um…” Julian shifted his weight, “Are you okay?”

You shot him a glare, arching a brow, “Peachy.”

“No I mean… About Barnes.”

“What are you talking about?”

“This whole Accords 2.0 failure, there’s no way we could go after him again.”

“I don’t want to go after him again.”

“You don’t want revenge?”

That made you straighten up your back and you put the fry down, “And why exactly would I want revenge?”

That made Julian fall silent and you nibbled on your lip.

“What exactly did the General tell you before you came here?”

“That there was a job here.”

“Bullshit,” you replied way too quickly, “Did he send you here to be my babysitter? He thinks I’ll go after Barnes myself is that it? That’s why they sent you here months after I left the country but right after Accords 2.0 didn’t pass.”

Julian licked his lips.

“Listen, the agency wants to keep you safe—“ he started but then his phone beeped. He grabbed it to take aa look at the screen, then cussed under his breath.

“What?”

“Check your texts.”

You touched the screen and frowned as your eyes skimmed the text.

From: General

Time to come home.

“Well,” you muttered, your heart dropping to your stomach, “Shit.”

                                                   ***

Coming back home was harder than ever now. After catching up with Keith and Chloe, you were taken to your new apartment that was given to you by the agency as usual, and for the whole night you couldn’t sleep.

Even if there was no trace of Bucky in your new apartment –in your new life, you still couldn’t shake off this feeling. It was as if the moment you had entered the country, Bucky had entered your life in an instant.

Odds were, you wouldn’t really see him again. After all it was a big city, and Bucky wasn’t exactly the social type.

So your first week back in New York wasn’t exactly terrible. You were still waiting for your orders while getting to know to the city slowly, because after long missions it always took time for you to remember you had a real life there, real memories—

Well, as real as it could be, for a spy.

“Just see it as a vacation,” Chloe had said, “They threw you into another mission as soon as you got out of the country, it’s just a delayed vacation.”

As far as vacations went though, this one just sucked.

Maybe it was because you couldn’t keep away from places you and Bucky had been too, like this coffee place where you had first officially met.

You sipped your coffee, scrolling down on the news website as your eyes skimmed yet another article about Accords and whether you could trust superheroes or not, but you were soon distracted when someone pulled the seat across from you, making you look up from your phone.

And as soon as you did, your heart dropped.

You had to give it to the General, he was manipulative, he was a liar and he had betrayed your trust terribly but the one thing he had done right was training you well. Aside from that one second, you managed to adapt a look of nonchalance on your face, slowly putting your phone down.

“Hello Cap.”

Sam raised his brows and eyed you up and down.

“You’re back?”

You could swear he could hear your heartbeat and you shrugged your shoulders, looking around.

“Yeah,” you said, “Big apple and everything.”

“So much for the small town girl.”

“I have never been a small town girl,” you drawled, “Never been to Oregon either.”

“Yeah, I can tell.”

You turned your coffee cup on the table just so you could do something with your hands.

“Why?” he asked after a beat and you shifted your weight despite your whole training of feeling calm and collected, nervousness hitting you out of nowhere.

“You’re a veteran, Wilson,” you managed to say, “You don’t need me to tell you how the chain of command works. Army doesn’t care how we feel about orders.”

“I’m very familiar with how chain of command works,” he pointed out, “But you’re not a soldier, Y/N. You’re a spy.”

“That makes it even worse,” you stated, “I know it sounds like an excuse, but… you don’t know how my agency works. I don’t get to say no to orders, and I sure as hell don’t get to blow my own cover.”

“But you wanted to, didn’t you?”

Jesus Christ, Wilson was really good at this observation thing.

“Doesn’t matter what I want,” you said, “I’m no use to anyone if I develop a conscience.”

“But you did,” he insisted, “Why else would you come to help us? Why else would you warn him beforehand?”

“He told you about that?”

He shot you a look, “What do you think, Y/N?”

You scoffed a laughter. “I was feeling generous,” you said, “No other reason.”

He kept his gaze on you for a couple of seconds, as if trying to see whether you would cave before he took a deep breath.

“You know he was going to propose, right?”

That-

That was just too much. You could feel your jaw hanging as you stared at him in complete silence, his words echoing in your ears.

“No,” you said after a moment, then shook your head fervently, your nose in the air, “No you’re wrong.”

“I’m not,” Sam said, “Apparently he was looking for this… house painted in white with—a red door or something.”

Don’t cry.

Do not fucking cry.

Spies don’t cry over heartbreak.

You clenched your jaw and blinked back the tears, straightening your back.

“It’s a good thing he didn’t get to, then.”

“Y/N, he loved you.”

“No Sam, he loved someone who doesn’t exist,” you replied, “Sweet small town girl with sundresses and smiles and some house in the suburbs with kids and all that shit. Girls like me don’t get that ending, I have way too much blood on my hands.”

He pressed his lips together and you cleared your throat.

“How much does he hate me?”

“Why do you think he hates you?”

“Assassins aren’t good at forgiving,” you said, “I would know, we don’t have that talent.”

“That’s not a talent, that’s a choice.”

“It really isn’t,” you muttered, “So?”

“Why don’t you ask him?”

You let out a bitter laugh, “Yeah no. Actions have consequences and I’d rather not cross paths with the deadliest assassin in the world after double crossing him.”

“But you want him to forgive you.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Intuition,” he said and pushed his chair back to stand up.

“He didn’t kill your father, Y/N.”

You heaved a sigh.

“I know,” you said, “Trust me, I would’ve walked away so much easier if he had.”

“Enjoy your coffee,” he said and walked out of the coffee house. You threw your head back, closing your eyes.

“Yep. I shouldn’t have come back.”

                                                  ***

“I never thought I’d say this, but I kind of hate that we’re not living so close anymore,” you pressed the phone between your shoulder and your ear and opened the door to your apartment as Keith chuckled.

“I knew you’d miss me.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re a softie deep inside. Very very deep inside.”

“If you repeat that in front of anyone I swear to God…” you muttered and he groaned.

“Have I told you they’re putting me in the same team as Julian?”

“You guys have a new mission?”

“Not a long one probably.”

“Why the fuck am I—“

“Because you’re on a vacation,” he cut you off, “And also they’re probably going to make you a handler, that’s worth waiting for.”

“That or….”

“We’re not talking about that on the phone,” Keith said quickly, “Amateur.”

“Careful there, I’ll outrank you soon enough,” you said, walking to the bathroom to wash your hands. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Alright, see you later!” he said and hung up. You put your phone into your pocket, then washed your hands and made your way to the kitchen.

It was only when you put the wine bottle back into the fridge that you noticed something was off. Your body moved on its own accord, before you knew it you had already grabbed the knife in your boots and threw it to the figure in the dark corner of the room but he easily caught it, metal hitting what sounded like another kind of metal before he stepped out of the corner. Your breath caught in your throat, and for the first time in your life you froze, all the training leaving your mind.

You were supposed to be looking for a weapon, any kind of weapon but somehow, your body refused to move.

Bucky turned your knife in his hands, his gaze pinning you to your spot before he tilted his head.

“Hi honey,” he said, his voice way too cold. “I’m home.”

Chapter 24

[ratofthemedievalsewers]

Heart of Steel - Part I

DBH Connor x Male Reader

Word Count: 2.5K+

Content warning: Minor injury detail, PTSD, language

Original game dialogue I got from this video:

https://youtu.be/32Np9LKI1Vg

We were attacked in the night.

After returning from a mission back to an outpost several miles from the red zone, we removed our gear save for a few pouches on our belts we could bother with later. Our team leader set up a fire while the SQ800s, CyberLife commissioned combat androids, began loading up the trucks with extra artillery and resources. A job that could have waited until morning, but Alpha always gave the androids something to do. He said that they creeped him out when they would just stand there in a dormant state, waiting for their next mission to be given to them.

"You know what I'm going to do when I get home?"

"Here we go again."

"I'm going to get me a WR400," Foxtrot; not everyone's favourite but he certainly kept us entertained when there was nothing to do.

"Uh-huh and with what money are you going to be using to pay for this WR400? A military salary definitely ain't gonna cut it." Echo always called out Foxtrot's bullshit, he was the only one that had the patience to deal with him.

"Fine, my birthday is comin' up, if you put towards two-thirds of what it costs we can share. How does that sound?"

"I am not sharing anything with you, I don't know what diseases you carry." Their constant back forth sent chuckles through the group.

"Alright, that's enough you two. It's getting late and past everyone's bedtime, I want you all awake by O-five-hundred at the latest," Alpha would often stop them before Foxtrot would take it too far, but he could never hide the twitching smile on his face.

"Yes sir," Foxtrot mock saluted as he stood from his seat around the campfire. "Hey Echo, that offer is still-"

One moment Foxtrot had a wide grin on his face, the next there was a hole in his head between his eyes, the sound of gunshot ringing in everyone's ears.

"SHOTS FIRED! GET TO COVER NOW!"

"FOXTROT IS DOWN! I REPEAT, FOXTROT IS DOWN!"

It was dark, we couldn't see where they were firing from. The android was the only one still standing, firing off in random directions as they were gunned down. The next was Delta, shot in the left shoulder, then the throat. My gun was back in my tent and there was no chance of me getting it. Stupid.

"MEDIC! GET TO DELTA! NOW!"

"GRENADE!"

I heard the thump by my feet before I saw it. You would think it would be terrifying, to know you're staring death in the face, but for a second it was peaceful. My body was cold and I already felt like a corpse, the Rigour Mortis freezing me in place, just softly gazing at what would kill me.

Something grabbed me before the grenade exploded, saving my life but destroying the android.

The bedsheets were crumpled and soaked in sweat again when my eyes shot open. It was hard to breathe, the panic was still running through me and closing up my throat at the memory.

In; one, two, three, four. Hold; one, two, three, four. Out; one, two, three, four. Hold; one, two, three, four.

It took a few minutes for me to remember where I was. That I was home and that I was safe. Out of nervous habit, I gripped my dog tags, they were wet from the sweat that had soaked through my shirt in the night.

"Shit." It was four in the morning, there was no chance of getting any more sleep and the station wouldn't be open for another two more hours at the least. Saying that; Fowler wanted to speak to me first thing, which never meant anything good for anyone.

It was aching again at the joint. The biomechanical component always felt itchy where it joined at the elbow. Anytime I would have that dream I would scratch at it in my sleep, it was like my subconscious knew it didn't belong. It knew my rotting left arm was still in the desert somewhere being picked apart by vultures.

It's almost ironic; to be saved by an android and then to have part of one attached to me. I hated it.

*****

"Morning Cyborg, you look like shit." Gavin was forever pleasant to talk to.

"Fuck off, Reed." He constantly hovered around the coffee machine, hogging it like it was his newborn baby. "Is Fowler in yet?"

"Not yet, you in trouble?" He took his time making his coffee, exceeding in being the department's resident asshat. "Did he catch you looking at porn on your work terminal again?"

"I'm pretty sure that's only ever happened to you." Not wanting to be reminded of his previous escapades I got no response. Gavin let out a small huff before moving to the side with his fresh cup of coffee, freeing up the machine.

"Officer (L/N)." Oh for fuck's sake.

"Sir?" Captain Fowler stood outside his office, his coat half soaked from the rain.

"My office, I need to speak to you." He didn't give a second glance to me before turning and letting the glass door shut behind him.

"Ha, good luck cyborg." Shooting Gavin the middle finger, I followed Captian Fowler into his office.

"What was it you wished to talk about, sir?" Feet shoulder-width apart, back straight and hands behind my back; habits from the army were destined to die hard. Often I would find myself moving my hand up to salute before leaving the presence of a superior, something else for Gavin to make fun of.

"You're aware of the deviant cases I've assigned to Lieutenant Anderson, correct?" Fowler sat at his desk, wet coat now hung on its rack, but there was slight dampness to his suit blazer where his coat had been left open.

"Yes sir. I believe he's being accompanied by a prototype RK800 from Cyberlife."

"That's correct. I'm sure you're aware that these deviancy cases are on the more..."

"Dangerous?"

"...Unpredictable side. Now, I can't exactly issue a gun to a prototype android if it's going to be in the field and, while I value Hank as a police officer, his record is on the rougher side."

"Captain Fowler, with all due respect, I don't believe-"

"Office (L/N), with all due respect, you don't have an opinion in this matter. I want you to accompany Lieutenant Anderson in these assignments just in case a deviant becomes too much for him or this android to handle. You've certainly got the skillset for it and you're not unfamiliar with working alongside androids, unlike quite a few officers in this department."

"I understand that, but-"

"Whatever you're gonna say I don't want to hear it." Captain Fowler didn't give me a chance to argue as he stood and walked to his office door, the annoyed look on his face worsening. "Hank, in my office!"

I let out a sigh before Captain Fowler turned back to his desk. Through the office wall made of glass Hank reluctantly made his way towards us grumbling something under his breath at the request, the RK800 model obediently following behind him like a little, lost puppy. Hank sat in the chair opposite Fowler while the android stood next to me, giving a small smile as a greeting.

Captain Fowler was the first to talk, "I've got ten new cases involving androids on my desk every day. We've always had isolated incidents, old ladies losing their android maids and that kind of crap... But now, we're getting reports of assaults and even homicides, like that guy last night. This isn't just cyberlife's problem anymore, it's now a criminal investigation and we've gotta deal with it before the shit hits the fan. I want you to investigate these cases, alongside officer (L/N) and see if there's any link."

"Why me? And why do I need a god damned partner? A stupid android is already too much. Why do I gotta be the one to deal with this shit?" Props to Hank for trying, but arguing with Fowler was like talking to a brick wall. "I am the least qualified cop in the country to handle this case! I know jack shit about androids, Jeffery. I can barely change the settings on my own phone."

"Everybody's overloaded. I think you're perfectly qualified for this type of investigation," They were already starting to blow up at each other.

"Bullshit! The truth is nobody wants to investigate these fuckin' androids and you left me holdin' the bag!"

"CyberLife sent over this android to help with this investigation and I've given you (L/N) as well. You've got a state of the art prototype and a leading police officer to act as your partners."

"No fuckin' way! I don't need partners, and certainly not this plastic prick and some action hero fucker."

"Nice working with you too, Lieutenant Anderson," I said under my breath, not intending for the others to hear. Connor turned his head slightly in my direction, I could see his LED blink yellow for a moment before going back to its bright blue.

"Hank, you are seriously starting to piss me off! You are a police lieutenant, you are supposed to do what I say and shut your goddamn mouth!"

"You know what my goddamn mouth has to say to you, huh?"

"I'll pretend like I didn't hear that, so I don't have to add any more pages to your disciplinary folder 'cause it already looks like a fuckin' novel! This conversation is over."

"Jeffrey, Jesus Christ! Why are you doin' this to me? You know how much I hate these fuckin' things. Why are you doin' this to me?" Most of the department knew why he had such a distaste towards androids, no one could necessarily blame him. Ever since losing his son Hank had become completely different as both a person and an officer. Admittedly, Fowler was harsh on him, but if he wasn't then Hank would drift.

"I've had just enough of your bitching. Either you do your job or you hand in your badge. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do." Hank left in a strop, letting out his frustration on Fowler's office door.

"Well then..." Connor was quick to break the tense silence. His voice caught me off guard, it was smoother, more human than any android's I had heard before. The SQ800's voices had always been more robotic than other models so it had been a shock when the androids back home had sounded so normal, it felt like that all over again. It was jarring. "I won't keep you any longer. Have a nice day captain."

Connor left and I followed behind, giving a small nod of dismissal to Fowler despite him still looking at his terminal screen.

The android went straight to Hank either oblivious or ignoring the lieutenant's current bad mood, granted there was never a time the bastard was in a good mood. Heaven itself could rain down on Detroit and he'd huff at it like a hair in his food.

"I got the impression my presence causes you some inconvenience, Lieutenant. I'd like you to know I'm very sorry about that. In any case, I'd like you to know I'm very to be working with you." Ever the enthusiast.

"I'd give in now. You're talking to a toddler in a fifty-year old's body and the toddler is having a hissy fit." I half sat and half leant against Hank's desk, using my arms to support my weight.

"Apologies, I don't believe I've introduced myself. My name is Connor, I am the android sent by CyberLife." He turned to me, a gentle and manufactured smile on his face. "It's a pleasure to be working with you too, officer (L/N). I'm sure we'll make a great team."

"Er... (Y/N) is just fine."

"Is there a desk anywhere I could use?"

"No one's using that one." Hank points to the desk opposite him, while still sulking like a child.

"Gasp, it speaks," I said in a sarcastic tone while turning to Hank.

"Fuck off. I've already got an android on my ass, I don't need you on it too."

I grabbed a terminal pad before perching myself back at the edge of Hank's desk while Connor got comfortable at the empty one. The light at the side of his head flashing yellow for a moment like he was hesitant to speak."You have a dog, right?"

"How do you know that?"

"The dog hairs on your chair. I like dogs. What's your dog's name?"

"What's it to you?" Hank shifted in his seat, "...Sumo... I call him Sumo."

"Under all those shitty shirts and questionable stains there's a warm, beating heart," I say more to myself than the other two, skimming over the recent case files sent in by Fowler.

"Officer (L/N)... (Y/N), knowing that we'd be working together I read your academy and field records. You have quite an interesting background."

"Oh yeah, then you understand that I may be a little driven to get these cases over with. I can't say I'm a fan of you terminators."

"I understand you have a... warped view of androids due to what you've experienced, but I hope you understand that I am your partner and not your enemy."

"Connor, you're not my partner, you're cyberlife's latest gizmo for us kick around." I sigh, turning to sit at my desk adjacent to hanks, taking the terminal pad with me. "Just look through the deviant case files. Terminals on your desk, knock yourself out."

They're nothing but machines. They are not your friends.

"Two-hundred and forty-three files, the first date back nine months. It all started in Detroit... And quickly spread across the country." Connor had only connected the terminal moments before.

"Don't work your CPU too hard," I mutter under my breath, catching a quick huff of amusement from Hank.

"An AX400 is reported to have murdered a man last night. That could be a good starting point for our investigation." Hank was doing his best to pretend Connor didn't exist, but the android was persistent. Connor stood from his chair and made his way into Hank's personal space.

"Uh, Jesus..." Hank turned his chair away.

"I understand you're facing personal issues, Lieutenant, but you need to move past them and-" For an android, Connor has some balls on him.

"Hey! Don't talk to me like you know me. I'm not your friend and I don't need your advice, okay?" Hank's mood had soured like milk, it wouldn't be long until Fowler was adding another page to Hank's disciplinary folder.

"I've been assigned this mission Lieutenant, I didn't come here to wait until you feel like working."

"Connor, you're just gonna-" I had wasted my breath, Hank had already stood and was grabbing onto Connor by the collar of his Cyberlife jacket and slamming against the screen next to his desk. "Hank!"

"Listen asshole. If it were up to me, I'd rather throw the lot of you in a dumpster and set a match to it. So, stop pissing me off... or things are gonna get nasty."

"Hank," I placed a hand on his shoulder to try and lightly pull him away from Connor but only earned a nasty side-eye. "Leave off him, you don't get paid enough to replace him."

"Lieutenant... Officer (L/N), uh... sorry to disturb you," Looks like the tin can was saved before Hank could knock the light out of him, "I have some information on the AX400 that killed that guy last night. It's been sighted in the Ravendale district."

"I'm on it." Hank didn't glance back when he dropped Connor's collar. The puppy dog look on his face almost made me feel bad for him... almost.

"Come on, WALL-E. Don't want to keep the old man waiting."

[please-buckme]

A Broken Heart.

Chapter 1

Lee Bodecker x fem!reader

Chapter warnings: slight mentions of sex, 18+,hitting, sad shit, break up, heart break, angst, cursing

Chapter Summary: reader and Lee breakup.

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Chapter 2 //Chapter 3

The world felt as if it were shattering around you, crumbling beneath your feet like the rapture was upon you. Honestly, if the world did come to an end right now you’d be elated. At least you wouldn’t have to deal with your broken heart anymore.

You sat against a wall in your room, wallowing in your own self petty. It’d be three days since Lee Bodecker had broken things off with you. He had said that you were hurting his campaign, that he still loved you but needed a woman of power to help him become sheriff of this godforsaken town.

Lee had taken you out in the same field he took you to every time y’all made love. He kissed you so passionately, held you so closely. If you weren’t so caught up in the way his hands felt against your bare skin, you would’ve noticed how distraught he was the entire time he made love to you. It was his way of saying goodbye before he actually said goodbye. After he’d broken up with you, you felt disgusting and violated.

You’d never felt like that with Lee. He was your deputy and sinner in disguise. He was your rock and your soft place to fall. When the tears finally fill, the most empty feeling you’d ever felt emerged in your gut. One day you thought you were gonna be Mrs. Lee Bodecker. You daydreamed constantly of your wedding day and sharing a bed with the man you loved for the rest of your life ‘til you were old and gray. To know now that dream will always remain a dream.. that’s what hurt the most.

After Lee drove you home, you sat in your room for three days straight, not even coming out for supper. Your momma tried to convince you to eat and it worked once on the second day, until you threw up right after.

She didn’t understand. She’d never been in love, not really. Not love like you and Lee had. People told y’all all the time how rare and beautiful your love for one another was and you agreed. Just looking back on those memories made you sick. You listened in awe of how beautiful your love was not knowing Lee would only break your heart days later.

Today was Sunday, the lord's day, and usually you never wanted to go to church, but today you really didn’t want to go. The whole town, including Lee and his new arm candy, would be there. It’s the first time you’d be seeing Lee since he dropped you off. It was too soon, especially since you knew he’d already moved on.

As you sat with your head between your knees, your momma barged through your bedroom door.

“Jesus, girl. Why aren’t you up and ready to go? Church starts in an hour and you aren’t gonna make me late again.” She stomped over to your closet and shuffled through your dresses.

“Momma.. I- I’m not ready. I can’t see… him with her. I just ain’t ready for that kinda humiliation.” You sighed, trying to reason with your Bible-thumpin momma.

“Oh, no. You’ve embarrassed me enough this week. Disappearin’ for three whole days over a boy? You’re pathetic. You know, back in my day, we didn’t get to sit around and sulk the days away. No. We had to carry on like everything was fine and that’s what you’re gonna do. Now, get dressed.” She threw you a dress, one of your favorites actually. It was a teal blue, babydoll dress that you usually saved for special occasions, but you weren’t feeling very special at the moment and now you were just pissed off.

You stood and came face-to-face with your momma, “I’m not going. You have no idea how I feel. You can’t. You’ve never felt love the way we had it, Momma. No one ever loved you or me the way I love Lee. You couldn’t possib-“

Just then you felt a sharp sting against your cheek as your momma slapped you across the face.

“Not. Another. Word. You will be dressed and waitin for me at the car in ten minutes. No poutin’ and no sulkin’ in the pews. I don’t wanna hear another word about that boy.” She turned to exit your room but turned around to give you one last dig to the heart, “And, honey, a man in love would never have done what he did to you. Remember that next time you wanna preach to me about love.” With that she left your room. Your cheek still stung from the unexpected hit to the face. Your momma was cruel but she’d never hit you before.

The slap, in a way, was kind of refreshing. For a split second you’d totally forgotten about Lee. Only for a second, though. His crystal blue eyes and cheshire lips never leave your thoughts completely. You shook your head in defeat, trying to erase him from your mind. It didn’t work, but you took a deep breath and began getting ready.

//

The church parking lot was full when you and your momma pulled in. Rickety old trucks to brand spankin new, brightly colored cars littered the dusty lot. You spotted Lee’s car immediately, thankfully he was already inside.

The whole town came to this church, which wasn’t that many people. Nevertheless, everybody knew everybody and, even if you didn’t care, everybody knew everybody’s dirty laundry. Old Man Karl got pulled over last week for a DUI, Nancy from the library cheated on her husband with his brother and.. oh yeah, Lee Bodecker dumped his long time girlfriend for the mayor's daughter.

Lee and yours breakup was the talk of the town. You were the fresh, new gossip in this boring as hell town and there’s nothing you could do about it.

You couldn’t get two steps into the church without being bombarded by women you didn’t want to know but also knew too much about, asking if you were alright and that they’d pray for you on this ‘beautiful, glorious Sunday morning’. Yeah, same shit different day, different person.

One woman stayed to chat with your momma, so you went to find your seat. Your usual spot was next to Lee and naturally that’s where you headed, only to be greeted by Lee and His new girlfriend, Laura-Jean Mancon. She was one of those girls who’d been pretty her whole life. Blind hair, blue eyes and a huge rack. Everybody thought she’d go into modeling or start an acting career but she never did. Instead, she stayed and was now going to marry Lee. In your eyes, that’s the best path she could’ve taken. You’d take her place any day.

“Mornin’ Y/n.” Lee cleared his throat, unable to make eye contact with you.

“L-“ You went to say his name but found you couldn’t. It was only one syllable, only three letters and it pained you to even think about, let alone say aloud. You cleared your throat, “Laura-Jean, nice to see you again.”

Laura-Jean said nothing in return. She just hummed, waiting for you to talk away.

“I guess I’ll go.. find me a new seat.” You took a deep breath when you felt the tears welling up in your eyes, again. Lee stared straight forward the whole time you stood there, too cowardly to even look you in the eyes. Some Sheriff he’ll be.

You scanned the crowd of people and found your momma in the front row, of course. You made your way up the aisle and took your seat next to her. The chorus sang their hems and the preacher clapped his way in on the last versus.

“How are we doin’ on this fine Sunday mornin’?” he drawled to the crowd. He got an assortment of greetings in return.

“I said ‘HOW ARE WE DOIN ON THIS BRIGHT N’ SHINY SUNDIE MORNIN’?’.”

“GOOD” the people shouted in return. You could hear Laura-Jean giggling over something but you wouldn’t dare look back. Lee always made church bearable, making wise cracks at the preaches expense.

“Now, today I’d like to talk a little bit about love. Of course, we’re always talkin’ about love when it comes to our lord and savor, Jesus Christ. But just for a moment, it ain’t about him. No. This mornin’ I’m preachin’ to you about young love.”

Here we go.

“It comes and goes so fast, but when you have it, it’s one of the most beautiful things this world can offer you.. especially when you put a little Jesus in it.” The church laughed. You knew where this was going. Your stomach churned as you sunk down into the pew.

“I’d like to ask the newly engaged folks in the crowd to come and join me up here. You know who you are, soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Lee Bodecker.”

Your heart felt as if it were going to explode, a tear escaped through your lashes and you quickly wiped it away.

They walked up hand in hand, smiling for cheek to cheek. How could he be so happy, so calm after only being broken up for less than a week? Did he ever love you? Really love you. Like you loved him. Obviously not because you could never, in good conscience do this to him. You couldn’t stand on a stage wrapped arm in arm with another man while Lee sat, just as you were now, devastated and totally distraught.

“So tell us,” the preach beamed. “When’s the big day.”

Lee looked at you with a pained expression as Laura-Jean answered the preach.

“May 21st”

Your breathing heavies at the reply. Turning to your momma you whispered, “Momma, that’s in two weeks.”

“I know that. Now, hush.” She side eyed you with a full smile still pressed to her lips. Even your own mother didn’t seem to care about your feelings. You sat there, listening to Laura-Jean go on and on about their ‘big day’. Tears streamed down your face and you let them. You’d given up on trying to hide how hurt you really felt. When you looked up, Lee stared straight at you. He wasn’t crying but his pain ridden face told you everything. One look at him and you couldn’t breathe anymore. You stood abruptly, all eyes were on you and Laura-Jean had stopped talking.

“I- excuse me.” You said before booking it out the back door. Lee hollered out, asking you to wait. It was too late. You were half way out the door and couldn’t stand to be in that room for another second.

Your feet stomped against the grave, dust clouding up in your wake as you made your way to the road.

“Y/n!” Lee called out after you.

“Go away. I have nothing to say to you, L- fuck.” You cursed, trying desperately to get away from him.

“I said wait, goddammit.” He growled, capturing your bicep in his large hand.

“Let go of me!” You whined sounding out of breath.

“Not until you listened to what I have to say.”

“What, Lee? What could you possibly have to say?”

“I- I.. dammit. I know I put you in a tough position but-“

“A tough position?” You repeated.

“Let me finish.” He sighed and released your arm from his grasp, “I know I hurt you. I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am, but, doll, this is it. This is my only chance at becoming Sheriff. You know how hard I’ve worked to get here and you’ve always been so supportive of my dream. I- I just thought.. out of everyone you would understand.”

Your skin burned as you imagined smoke blowing from your ears. Did he really just say that? That you should understand the break up and go on with your life like nothing happened like he is? You stood there frozen, breathing heavier and heavier as your brain tried to come up with a coherent response while trying to also remain a lady.

“I- I still love you. You know that, right?” He asked, bringing a hand to your cheek and wiping a stray tear away.

You flinched at his burning touch and slapped his hand away, “Don’t touch me. Don’t you ever touch me again. I don’t love you anymore. I can’t love you. Shit… seeing you was the best part of my day and now I can’t even look at you without feeling like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I can’t even say your name anymore. Everything about you, now, fills me with so much pain and dread. So if that’s what your love is, keep it. I don’t want it anymore.”

“Doll,” A tear ran down his cheek, you now being the one who’s breaking his heart. “I never meant to hurt you. I swear.” He sniffles.

“Well, you did. I’m in so much pain.” You sobbed, “I’m in so much pain and I have no one to go to because you were my person. You have left me completely empty and utterly alone.”

“Y/n, I-“

“Save it, Bodecker. I’m done talking to you.”

Lee didn’t chase after you this time. He let the tears stream down his face as he watched you walk away. He was just as heartbroken as you but couldn’t show it., not when he was so close to winning this election. He wiped his face with the back of his hand and headed back towards the church. He knew you just needed time and that he’d still see you around town.

Seeing you today took his breath away. You wore your favorite dress that he bought you for your birthday so long ago. You didn’t have on any makeup, which he loved. You were so naturally beautiful and he did still love you with every piece of his shattered heart. He’d eventually come up with a plan to get you back, but for now he would respect your space.

//

Once you’d gotten home and shut the door, you couldn’t help but scream at the top of your lungs. Hoping for some sort of release from all this heartache you felt. Telling him you couldn’t love him was the hardest thing you ever had to do. You sat on the floor in the same position you were in before you left; head between your knees and sobbing like a baby.

There was no escaping him in this town. There was church and the grocery store and the diner you worked at part time. He was everywhere. He’d come in every morning you worked to have coffee with you. He had been a part of every little thing you do in your daily routine for as long as you can remember.

There was never a time you weren’t together. It was always just you and him. He was the one who held you when you were sad, but where was he now when you needed him most?

To you, there was only one way to fix this; get the hell out of here. Completely leave town and start anew somewhere else. You have an aunt that lives right outside of town. You can stay there until it doesn’t hurt anymore.

Wiping the tears from your eyes, you got up. Your aunt agreed to the plan and said you could stay with her for as long as you needed when you called her. You packed a small duffle bag and waited for her to pick you up.

When she did finally pull up out front, you hopped in the car and she drove off, leaving the dusty ole town you called home for so long. You took in a deep breath as you drove towards your new life. No Lee, no momma, no worries.

Dividers by: @firefly-in-darkness

Taglist: @haydens-moles , @c00lkidvibes , @tcc-gizmachine , @buckysm3talarm , @gogolucky13 , @cryptidcasanova , @heavenlyseb , @writersbuck , @teddy-bearbaby , @bbmommy0902 , @sweetllamaparadise , @thereblogcrusader , @aleemendoza2425-blog , @frostbytebaby , @jessyballet , @emotionallyandphysicallydone , @sarge-barnes-sir , @generalbagelcookieslime

(Dm me to be added to taglist)

[markosmate]

lady

Pairing; Marko x Emerson!Reader

Summary; Moving to a different state with your younger brothers and mother just to live with your grandfather was hard enough, but falling in love with a vampire and then watching your brother do the same thing? Much different story.

Warnings; strong language

au://  Welp lovelies I had promised you a Marko series in February that I started writing while I was manic, then after writing a good five/six chapters I fell into a deep dark hole of depression and didn’t write anything but sad, worthless poetry about a boy I’m in love with who doesn’t love me back :) But now it’s May, a spark of inspiration and happiness has suddenly hit me and I’ve come back to this series to finally deliver it to you!! I hope y’all like it cause I literally stress cried over finishing it three different times :,)

I’d also like to point out that any kind of feedback at all is so so appreciated. Most of my inspiration comes from feeding off of people’s reactions to what I write. So if you enjoy it or have any recommendations or comments at all please please don’t be shy to send me an ask or DM or even comment to let me know :( Thank you and enjoy!!

Part 2

I wasn’t exactly mad about moving, there was nothing holding me in Phoenix that I would be particularly sad about leaving behind. The only thing that struck a nerve was that it was dumped out of nowhere on me. Suddenly Mom had divorced Dad, let him keep everything, and made plans with Grandpa for us to move into his place with him. A little prior warning would have been appreciated, but regardless when we were told it didn’t change the fact that everything we knew was changing. Sam wasn’t happy about it at all, leaving his friends, leaving Dad. Michael... well Michael didn’t really have an opinion. In my view, he was just indifferent. He didn’t really care where the hell we were as long as he had a motorcycle, a job, and some hot chicks to swoon over.

But here we were, packed into Mom’s truck and driving through a town that I’d most likely have memorized like the back of my hand in a good few days. As the three in the car argued over which station to keep on, I turned my head and leaned my forehead on the window of the car. I watched the beach as we drove along the road, and admired the waves hitting against the sand.

I was ready to drift off until we got to Grandpa’s house when a short, exited yell left Mom’s lips. “Oh!” She grinned happily as Sam landed on a station familiar to her. “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Oh, that’s from my era! Grooving on a Sunday afternoon!” She sung along with the song as Sam threw his head back and groaned in protest. I laughed at her antics, enjoying seeing my Mom acting so carefree and happy. 

“Alright, keep going, keep going.” Mom and Sam agreed with each other at the same time, Mom leaning over to continue skipping through the stations. Finally, the next station was agreed on and my pounding head thanked the universe for the quiet that I hadn’t been able to achieve the entire drive here. “Hey we’re almost there!”

“Ugh,” Sam scrunched his nose up in disgust after taking a deep breath. I leaned forward to wrap my arms around his head-rest and pull my face closer to the open window. The pungent smell hit me, and I recognized it immediately, low tide, but it wasn’t bad - anything to do with the beach was calming to me regardless. “What’s that smell?”

“Ah!” Mom breathed in deeply and turned to share a knowing grin with me, “That’s the ocean air!”

I turned to look at the welcoming sign, taking in the colors and faded lettering. “Smells like someone died.” Sam muttered as Mom tutted at him softly. 

“That’s likely.” I muttered to Michael, nudging his head in the direction of the back of the sign, where in big red spray-painted letters sat the phrase “Murder Capitol of the World.”

“Aw guys, I know the last year hasn’t been easy. But I do think you’re really going to enjoy living in Santa Carla.” Mom tried to remain happy about the situation, but a shared glance with Michael after we both read over the sign revealed there wasn’t much he was excited for.

The rest of the drive only increased my excitement. Hippies galore filled the streets, a large amusement park covered most of the boardwalk, and the rest was filled with small shops and food stands. We stopped for awhile so Mom could give some teenagers rummaging through garbage some money to eat and so Michael could unhinge his bike and ask around for job openings, but before I could even think to step out of the car and get a look around we were already heading into the backroads to get to Grandpa’s house.

Grandpa’s house was farther into the plains than expected, but still only a good fifteen to twenty minute drive away from town. Before Mom could ever fully park the car, I had already jumped out and was looking around the property. Michael pulled his bike up next to Mom’s car, and they all took a good few seconds to look around at all the wood carvings and chimes before turning their vehicles off. I took note of the horses grazing in one of the back fields before walking around the front of the truck and seeing a man laying on his back across the front porch steps.

Sam lead the way towards him before Mom cut in front and marched up the steps to squat beside him. “Dad?” She questioned gently. “Dad?” The three of us leaned closer to get a better look.

“Looks like he’s dead.” Michael remarked.

“Like... really dead.” I quipped in, raising an eyebrow at Mom.

“No, no. He’s just a deep sleeper.” She brushed our comments off.

“If he’s dead can we go back to Phoenix?” Sam remarked, earning a snort from me and a sharp look from Mom. 

Suddenly Grandpa sat up, a cocky smirk apparent on his face. “Playing dead. And from what I hear, doing a damn good job of it.”

Sam rolled his eyes in exasperation before Mom laughed faintly. “Oh, Dad!”

-

That night, Mom decided that it would be good for the four of us to leave the house after a night of unpacking and explore the boardwalk when it’s at its liveliest. I could admit it looked much more enjoyable now that it was dark and a little chilly, the sweaty people that had been occupying it earlier were now less sweaty and more stoned.

Almost as soon as Mom’s car and Michael’s bike were parked, Mom sent us off on our own so she could spend some time staking out a job in one of the family-owned shops. “Do you think she’ll be able to find one?” Sam questioned as the three of us weaved through crowds, trying to find our way to the beach concert. We could certainly hear it, we were just having a bit of trouble actually getting to it.

“One what? A job?” Michael scoffed as if it was hard to believe, still bitter over the fact there was no legal jobs for him to get hired in.

I laughed, elbowing him softly in the side, knowing that this place was exactly his vibe and in time he would most likely come to love living here. Sam was the only one I was actually worried about. “She’ll probably be able to find one. What, with all these missing people, there’s bound to be tons of job openings.”

“You’re telling me. It’s like there’s hundreds of bullet-boards around every corner with dozens of people missing. This place really is the Murder Capital.” Michael remarked as the concert finally came into our line of sight.

“Don’t say that!” Sam pleaded, shoving Michael’s shoulder with his eyebrows knitted tightly.

Michael just held his hand up in surrender and with one last shrug of his shoulders he turned to me. “You checking out the shops? We’ll find you once we get bored.”

“Sounds like a plan.” I agreed, turning sharply on my heel and blindly making my way back into the crowd. The concert was loud, sweaty, and crowded, and it wasn’t even my style of music - the last thing I wanted to do was spend my first night there. I figured it would be much more productive if I were to check out all the shops and stands running up and down the entire area, maybe find some new pieces of jewelry, or even a possible summer job opportunity.

Many places caught my eye, and I made a mental note to check them out the next time I had free money to spend, as it wouldn’t be wise for me to make an impulse-buy when I’m so close to being completely broke. Instead a small stand in the middle of the walkway drew me to it. A piercing stand. One person working on someone already sitting on the chair. There was a large wall selection of different studs, and many different kinds of disinfectants lined along the counter.

I walked closer to the wall, admiring all the different designs they had. I’d absolutely love to get a helix or orbital piercing, but I knew it wasn’t the wisest to spend money doing something like that at a small stand on a boardwalk in Santa Carla of all places. I was suddenly broken out of my thoughts when a voice spoke up directly behind me.

“It’s a scam, you know.” I jumped, hand flying to my chest, and whipping around to look at the owner. A teenage boy, my age, maybe a little older, with long curly blond hair and a grin that could have probably wooed me into his bed by the end of the night had he not literally just scared the shit out of me.

I laughed breathlessly, shaking my head. “What is?”

“The piercings. If you need one done, I could do it for you. But they use the guns instead of a needle which will definitely infect if you’re planning on doing a cartilage one.” He explained with a tilt of his head as he turned and began making his way towards the restaurants. I took that as an invite to follow, jogging to catch up and walking next to him.

“You know a lot about piercings?” I tried to make small talk, not wanting him to get away just yet.

He nodded with a confident smirk. “I did my own, and my friends. Someone had to learn.” I laughed a little at his mock-annoyed tone and shoved my hands into my pockets to appear to be doing something. He suddenly stopped and turned to me, holding out his hand. “Marko, by the way.”

“Ivory.” I accepted his hand and we both shook, hard and firm.

“You’re new.” He nodded as if finally understanding something that had been going on inside his own head. “I would’ve noticed you before if you’d been here all along.”

We dropped each other’s hand and I gave him a quizzical look. “What do you mean by that?”

He barked out a laugh and shook his head. “Nothing rude, you’re just too gorgeous to go unnoticed around here.” Before I could reply, another voice cut in from a few yards away.

“Marko! Marko, man, we’re supposed to meet David in ten!” I looked over to see another punk-looking dude calling out to Marko with his hands cupped around his mouth.

I laughed and look back towards the curly blond. “See you around?”

He nodded in confirmation, sending me one last crooked smile before turning to jog over to his other friend. I turned as well, making my way back into the crowd and away from the middle lane stands. I didn’t make it very far before the body of my youngest brother crashed into my side. I glanced down at him in bewilderment as we used each other to steady ourselves.

“Sam? Aren’t you supposed to be with Michael?” I laughed as he looked as though he’d just had the weirdest conversation of his life.

“Well, I was. Then he saw some girl at the concert and wandered after her so I went to check out the comic store.” He explained, shrugging before letting his eyes wander around once more in search of Michael. I rolled my eyes, of course Michael left Sam behind to go chase after some girl. It didn’t take long to find him, he was only a little further down the stretch of restaurants. He was more towards the end, walking out of the crowd near where the last building - a bar - sat in place.

We walked up behind him, and as soon as I was at his side I followed his eyes to a girl who was walking behind a small child, hand on his shoulder, and steering him in a certain direction. She was pretty - with big, curly hair and a beautiful smile that curled her lips up as her eyes grazed over all the lights of the carousel one last time for the night. I followed her line of sight, trying to place why Michael was following her instead of just walking up and introducing himself, but I immediately realized what the problem was.

She hoisted herself up onto the back of a motorcycle, accepting the help of the blond driver. He had a spiked mullet, dressed in all black, and when he realized Michael was staring at his girl, a cocky kind of smirk crossed his face. His friends parked next him all revved their engines to a start, and I tore my eyes from the platinum blond to see the others. I didn’t manage to catch a good look at two of them, because my eyes immediately looked onto those of the punk from earlier who’d started a conversation with me over pierced ears.

He was already looking at me, and when he realized my attention immediately locked onto him, a predatory look filled the black circles of his eyes and his lips formed into a boyish smirk directed exactly at me. He lifted his hand in a short wave, laughing along with the friend who called him away from me earlier as he shoved Marko’s shoulder in a teasing way. I lifted my hand in a small acknowledging wave back, but was knocked out of my small trance by Sam, who began teasing Michael.

“Come on, she stiffed ya!” Sam laughed harmlessly, gently punching Michael’s shoulder and turning to probably go and find Mom. I broke my gaze away from Marko immediately, turning to follow after Sam and not bothering to look back at all as I heard the bikes pull out and speed off down the road.

“Too bad she left with Mr. Mullet, she was pretty.” I tried to break the tension with Michael, I really didn’t want him to be upset over the lose of the girl, he still had all of Santa Carla’s teenage population of girls to meet.

He cracked a smile and nudged his shoulder into mine. “She really was.”

Once we made it home for the night, I separated from both my brothers and made my way into my own room. It was the smallest of all of ours, but that’s the main reason why I had chose it. It was cozy, and cute. I liked the way it came out once I had finished decorating it.

I couldn’t help but let my mind wander to those boys on the motorcycles from earlier that night. Marko seemed nice enough, even if I didn’t know whether or not I was brave enough to try to pursue a friendship with his more than intimidating friends. Just as I came to the conclusion that I should just get over myself and approach them, a sharp sting of anxiety wedged itself into my gut and nauseous filled my stomach and rose up in my throat. No. I didn’t need to become friends with those boys, there was something off, something I didn’t need to meddle in.

If I saw them again, I’d avoid eye contact and conversation completely. I was never able to understand my anxiety, but I always listened to it when it struck me.