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#but time keeps passing so fast . it was noon the last time i looked at the clock
brainrotdotorg · 1 year
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my brain is fried i need to go outside
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hairmetal666 · 2 months
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Wayne's used to worrying about Eddie. He should be; he's been doing it since the kid was twelve. First it was Eddie's silence, his permanent frown, the way the bones stood out too prominent on his small wrists. Then it was the kids at school, taunting him and calling him names, the fights and calls from the principal's office. Next came the late nights, the drinking, the dealing, failing his senior year twice. But all of those times, every single one, Wayne had known what to do. Maybe it wasn't perfect, maybe it took a little time, but he'd always figured out exactly what his boy needed.
And now--now Wayne doesn't know if he can help; knows it's not in his power to fix it. 
So, he sits for the second week in a row, watching his nephew--his whole heart--sitting in front of the window, looking out at the forest, nursing the same cup of coffee that he poured six hours ago, and wonders how in the world he can help.
They're cleaning up from dinner, Eddie quiet at his side, when he says, "Gonna need some help with the mugs tomorrow."
After moving to Oregon once Eddie graduated and he retired, he found an affinity for pottery. Never woulda thought it, but he loves it and tourists love his booth at the farmers market.
He can't think of a better way to get his nephew out of the house, but wonders if he doesn't know his boy as well as he thinks after a decade in Los Angeles, that Eddie'll refuse. He just nods, though, goes back to drying the plate in his hands.
And next morning, right at 6:45, Eddie is in the living room in black jeans that are so worn they're nearly grey in places, and the threadbare Metallica tee Wayne thrifted for him nearly a decade back. It's a win. Small, yes--Eddie doesn't even complain once about the country-western station Wayne plays in the truck--but still a step forward.
Wayne wastes no time parking and handing Eddie a box of carefully packed merchandise. He leads the way, trusts that Eddie is right on his heels until he hears Jim Hopper's voice say, "You better keep an eye on those mugs, son. Your uncle will tan your hide."
He turns to see Hopper balancing one end of Eddie's box, Eddie's cheeks flushed pink. "Sorry, I--uh, I've got it now." Hopper lets go and for the briefest instant Eddie's eyes dart to the side and the pink in his cheeks grows deeper.
Wayne tracks the path Eddie's eyes took and finds--he swallows back a chuckle--Steve Harrington just setting one of his Adirondack chairs into place, his t-shirt lifted to show of a stretch of stomach.
Well. Eddie did always like the pretty ones.
They setup the booth in companionable silence, and Hopper pops back over for a proper introduction. Before he departs again, he says to Eddie, "I got some kids who really love that dnd game and your show. They're going to be crazy to meet you. That okay?"
And Eddie, he's a good boy, he smiles and nods but as soon as Hopper is out of earshot, Wayne's saying, "Hop's kids and their friends are big fans and I know you're heartsore about the cancellation, but you better be polite."
Eddie glares. "What do you think, old man, that I'll be mean to children?"
"Well, with how you've been moping around the cabin these last few weeks, hard to know."
He scoffs. "Yeah, well. Netflix putting your hit show on indefinite hiatus without warning or explanation will do that to a guy."
Wayne knows there's nothing he can say to soften this hurt, so he gives Eddie's shoulder a tight squeeze. "I'm proud of you no matter what, son."
His nephew nods, eyes down, but Wayne doesn't miss the small, pleased, lift at the corner of his lips.
The morning passes smoothly and Wayne pretends he doesn't notice every time he finds Eddie's gaze straying to Steve's booth.
The kids come by around noon, Dustin Henderson breaking away from the pack to shriek, "You're Eddie Munson!"
Eddie smiles, stands. "That I am, young adventurer." He bows low, exaggerated and the kids giggle. "Pray tell, what are your names?"
The chatter is fast and easy, Eddie the happiest he's been in weeks, and Wayne relaxes back in his chair, lets out a long, slow breath of relief at the breaking storm. He stretches back in his chair, eyes catching on Steve Harrington across the way. Steve who is watching Eddie and the kids with an expression Wayne can only think of as fond.
Wayne isn't one to play matchmaker, but--he thinks, just maybe, just this once he could nudge.
It happens late in the afternoon, when business has well-slowed, Eddie asking, "Um--that guy over there, who is--what's his deal?"
Wayne thinks he manages to keep all traces of amusement from his face and voice as he answers, "Who? Ohh, Steve Harrington. He's the guidance counselor down at the middle school. Does a bit of carpentry in his free time. Best friends with the woman who owns that little bookstore."
He watches as Eddie processes, as his eyes widen, probably in remembrance of the pride flags and Protect Trans Kids shirts, how the woman in question wore a lesbian flag pin on her apron. "Guidance counselor?" He says eventually. "Kind of a drag."
"You would think, but the kids love him. The ones you met earlier today? He babysat them for years; imprinted on him, Jim and I say."
"Hmm," is the only response he gets, Eddie's attention back on the man in question.
---
The day after the market, Wayne walks into the living room to find Eddie's laptop tucked into the cushions of the window seat. He hasn't seen the thing since Eddie came home, never used to see him without it, and this--well.
He says, "need to run into town for a few things. You up for a trip? You might could stop at that bookstore."
Eddie nods, takes a sip of his coffee--he's actually drinking it-- says, "Yeah. Yeah, I think that'd be cool."
The store isn't busy when they arrive, and Wayne drifts towards the magazines to leave Eddie to his own devices.
Wayne loses himself to quiet browsing, wanting to give Eddie space, to maybe chat with Robin Buckley, strike up the beginnings of a friendship. Enough time passes, though, that Wayne is wondering where his boisterous, noticeable nephew could've disappeared to so silently.
He winds around a shelf and sees Eddie and Steve Harrington in deep conversation. He can't hear it, not really, but they're standing close, with pink in their cheeks. As he watches, Steve says something that makes Eddie laugh and pull a few strands of hair over his mouth.
They're almost inseparable after that. Eddie, Steve, Robin, and all those kids. They play dnd, have movie nights, spend hours at the diner. And Eddie, he's writing, sketching, gets down Wayne's acoustic guitar and plays around for a while.
When he asks how things are with "that Harrington boy," Eddie flushes red and says, "none of your business, old man" before giving Wayne a quick, affectionate squeeze. 
---
Two and a half months after Eddie came to stay, Wayne's walking back from the river, the sky the light navy of new dusk. His fishing rod is draped over one shoulder, tackle box held easily in his fist, the walk home pleasant, a perfect end to a good day.
The light from the front porch seeps through the trees, and he's thinking about a cold beer, a warm pizza, if Eddie's found his way home yet, when figures standing on the porch stop him in his tracks.
It takes a second, longer, for his eyes to adjust from the dark of the woods, and the glow of the bulb, but then he sees--
Eddie and Steve locked in a fierce embrace, desperate and very much private.
He turns right back towards the river, doesn't mind giving the boys some time.
He waits a good half hour, just enjoying the forest, before heading back. Steve's car is gone, the porch vacant, but the cabin is lit up, bright and warm and inviting.
Wayne steps inside, and his nephew is there, laptop open, but he isn't working, just smiling to himself, chin resting on his fist.
"Okay?" Wayne asks.
"Huh? Oh, yeah." Eddie's smile doesn't fall from his face.
He doesn't want to interfere, ask too much, not when he's sure things are still young. Instead, he asks, "What'd you say to ordering a pizza?"
And Eddie, heedless of Wayne's question, says,"you know. I've been thinking about maybe staying here for a little longer."
And Wayne, his smile grows, and he claps a hand on his nephew's shoulder. "You're welcome here for as long as you want. Already consider it your home anyway."
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Trafalgar water d. law x reader >:3
Summary- You’ve been waiting months to see your boyfriend and once your reunited your feeling up to doing something impulsive. this leads to some spicy time in the bedroom
established relationship, fluff, smut, use of the words cunt and dick, edging
TW: jorts
MINORS DNI 18+
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guys this is my first time writing and i uggggg
i can’t get this idea out of my head that i’m going feral over and i need to put it down somewhere and maybe you’ll enjoy it
(i’ve just met law so the characterization may be weird but mayhaps i’ll want to write more after this when i get to know him better :) )
anyways enjoy!!
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It had been a long, boring morning on the sunny. Months had passed since you’d seen your boyfriend, Law, and you missed him fiercely.
You were apprenticing under Dr. chopper of the strawhat pirates when the two of you met during one of your misadventures. You hit it off rather fast. The first few times you encountered the heart pirates their captain would be a blushing, mumbling mess around you. You thought it was cute how he stumbled over his words whenever you looked him in the eyes. Or how endearing it was that he would recommend medical books and help you better yourself as a Dr.
Eventually Law got over his nerves and asked you to be his partner. You were over the moon ecstatic. Finally, after months of butterflies in your stomach he asked you! That night he also gave you a necklace he made out of a vertebrae.
Luffy agreed to let you travel between vessels, as an ally to the heart pirates and to apprentice under Law. Every few months you would switch from the polar tang to the sunny, keeping in touch with your lover through letters and transponder snail.
Today, you were moving over to the polar tang at noon. The sunny needed work done after your last battle that required materials Franky didn’t have. The crew decided that it was best to go to Water 7 to get the materials otherwise they may not be able to fix the ship. So that’s exactly where Nami docked her, and exactly where you were going be reunited with Law.
You where pilfering through your closet, trying to find the right outfit to wear to see Law when you heard a nock on the door. You responded with a quick, “Come in.” and Nami opened the door.
“have you figured out what you’re doing when you see Law today?” she asked. “Not yet but i’m feeling really spontaneous so hopefully something fun.” you said, your eyes sparkling with possibilities. If you knew one thing for sure it was that you needed him. Too many nights have past that you yearned for his touch. You had been counting down the days till you got to see him and you wanted this night to be perfect.
You pulled out a pair of emerald denim jorts and a short sleeved black, cropped top. “Do you think this will be a cute fit?”, You questioned towards Nami. She smiled and said, “Yes! Show me your look when you’re done!”. With that she turned around and disappeared out the door.
You quickly changed into the outfit, slapped on some winged eyeliner and makeup, and fixed your hair down. You were too excited to see Law to get caught up in the little details. All besides the necklace that he made you. Once you were ready you went out on deck and showed Nami and Chopper your outfit before leaving. You triple checked the last letter you received from Law as you approached the small business he told you to meet him at.
While you were off in your own world re-reading the letter you ran into something firm. Letting out a small weeze you reeled back, face red, ready to apologize profusely to whoever you just knocked into. But as you looked up you were greeted with deep brown eyes. “Law!!” you exclaimed as you threw yourself into him once again. He wrapped his arms around you and the two of you stood there, soaking up each others presence. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I have too” he whispered as he rubbed circles on your back.
“Do you trust me?” you said leaning back fromthe embrace and looking him in the eye. He raised an eyebrow and replied with a stretched out “Yes?”
“Do you want to be impulsive with me?” you asked him. He cocked his head to the side and thought about it for a second. “Yes” he replied before quickly moving to kiss you. The kiss was loving and tender, his way of physically saying “I love you”. Law pulled away and you grabbed his hand leading him to a small tattoo shop on the island. Luckily, there was an artist who had openings for walk ins and you knew exactly what you wanted to get. You went over your idea with Law and he nodded in agreement. He sat down in the chair and raised his left arm to you.
You bit the inside of his wrist just hard enough to leave an indentation. Blush crept onto your face as your mind escaped to dirty places. Quickly, you shook those thoughts away as you remembered where you were. The artist turned on their pen and got to inking the bite marks onto your boyfriend. his muscles flexed as the needle penetrated his skin, veins popping from the adrenaline running through him.
You couldn’t help but admire him like this. You hadn’t seen him in so very long and you missed being in close proximity. Once the artist wiped his fresh tattoo and gave him cleaning instructions it was your turn. You sat down and extended your arm towards the man in front of you and he took it in his long, tattooed fingers. You felt electricity everywhere that he touched your skin. He looked you deep into the yes and sensually clamped his mouth over your forearm.
‘ok so we’re both on the same page’, you thought as you couldn’t help but bite your lip at the pain. The artist made their way toward you with the pen and got to it. Law pulled your opposite hand to his mouth and kissed it. He held onto it for the duration of the tattoo, rubbing his thumb over yours.
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Once you got back to the polar tang you stopped to greet bepo and made it back to Laws quarters quickly. As soon as the door locked Law was on you. This kiss wasn’t like the one earlier in town. It was needy and full of hunger . You were slowly backed into the edge of Laws bed where you sat and layed down as he climbed over you. “I’ve been thinking about being able to touch you for months” he whispered in your ear. You wouldn’t think it but one of Laws love languages if physical touch. It’s only reserved for those he truly cares for though. It made your heart leap to think that you were one of those people.
He littered your cheek and jaw with kisses, making his way down your neck. As he did this his thumbs circled around your thighs. Heat pooled in your stomach as he touched you. You cupped his cheeks in your hand and pulled him to eye level “I love you.” you said looking deep into his eyes, and you meant it. He crashed his mouth into yours, biting at your lower lip as a plea for you to open your mouth. As soon as you did his tongue slipped through. you let out a small moan as he searched your mouth, getting his first taste of you for the night. The heat in your stomach grew as well as your need for friction. You searched for it as you bucked up into him. You felt all of Law’s body stiffen. He pushed down into you and you slowly started to rock you hips against his. Feeling his cock rub against your center through your clothes. He started to peel your shirt back and over your head. Law paused his movements to admire your bare flesh. His hand quickly found its way to your sensitive breast as well as his mouth. His other hand made its way to your pants and cupped over your clothed pussy. He swirled his tongue over your hardened nipple as he caressed you through the fabric.
He worked his way down and your nerves tingled as his wet tongue trailed along your body, eliciting a mewl. He wasted no time pulling off your pants and underwear. Law stopped for a few seconds to stare in awe at your wet cunt. He quickly pulled your thighs over his shoulder’s, situating them to straddle his face. Bitting down on your inner thigh, then licking and kissing the same spot. He raised his gaze to meet your eyes and then pressed your clit firmly with the letter H. You jolted at the contact and yelped. He smirked and slowly sank the letter A into you with E following shortly after.
Law grumbled out a string of curses as he felt how wet you were for him. “God I can’t wait to be inside you baby.” he groaned. You didn’t have time to think about what he just said as his warm tongue swiped over your clit, sending tingles to every nerve ending in your body. You arched into his mouth as he sloppily drooled and sucked on your pussy. Your body writhed as his fingers pumped inside you, slowly building you up to your climax. There was an overwhelming feeling building up in your lower stomach and just as you were about to tip over Law stopped.
Your protest was stopped abruptly when he reached eye level and kissed you once more. You pulled at his clothes to be removed and he obeyed. You needed Law in you now. You flipped the two of you over so that you were straddling his waist, slapping his throbbing dick against your wet cunt causing it to make a lewd sound. Yearning for more friction you wiggled along the shaft of his cock gaining a strangled moan from Law. He couldn’t take anymore. He lined himself with your wanting hole and you slowly sunk onto him. The stretch burned but in the best way. You wiggled your hips around him and he took this as a signal to start moving. He pumped in and out of you slowly at first but gripped your hips to guide you as he quickened his pace. You felt that familiar intensity in your lower stomach as you felt the curve of his dick hit your sweet spot. Your hips started to match his pace and cause friction on between the two of you and on your clit. “Fuck Law” you let out as the feeling of build up got almost unbearable. He removed his left hand from your waist and started to circle your clit with his thumb. Just as you were about to come he kissed you just as he did in town. Softly, with love. You couldn’t hold it in anymore. You came undone with him still pumping inside of you. Pleasure crashing over you in waves. As you came down from your high you felt Laws dick twitch inside you. He came seconds later with a loud, whiny moan.
The two of you laid tangled in each others limbs until Laws blood pressure returned to normal. You laughed about the adventures you had while you were away. Law spoke of the research he’d been doing. Eventually hekissed your forehead and pulled out of you. “i’m going to go start the shower love, we need to wash these tattoos before we go to bed.”
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luimagines · 2 years
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If requests are still open, pleasepleaseplease can you do a continuation of Prince!Twilight and Prince!Sky I am beg g i n g ok thank you have a good day!!
I thought you'd never ask.
You can read the first part right here!
Masterlist
Content under the cut!
Prince Twilight
Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.
You paced and paced and cried and paced. You swore there was a visible trench in your floor boards by the time you wore yourself out enough to get some sleep.
Even then, sleep was a fruitless endeavor. You tossed and turned and the only things that kept replaying in your head was his broken voice, the touch of his hand on yours and weight of the ring and your next decision.
Morning came faster than you had ever seen it happen.
You didn’t want to go.
You didn’t.
You doubt you would even be allow to be that close to the castle without some guards stopping you.
It was such a long walk to the castle from your house anyway.
What if he was messing with you the entire time anyway? What if he really wasn’t the prince and this was just to make you look like an idiot at the end of the day? ....But he had seemed to honest... and devastated when you ran from him.
And even then, you didn’t know what he wanted. You didn’t know why he decided to hang with you as long as he did. You didn’t know if he was just supposed to get a sick kick out of it or if he was going to get you in trouble with the royal family of all things. You didn’t know why he still wanted to be friends with you. you didn’t know what was going to happen if you didn’t go. Would you stop being friends? Would he never come out again? 
Is he expecting you to join him in the palace? Why would he suddenly bring this up? He could have kept it secret. You didn’t have to know. What did he gain by telling you this? All it did was put a target on your back.
All you had to do was not show up.
You weren’t goin to do it.
Nope.
You found yourself just meters away from the entrance when you came to your wits.
And you were early.
Panicked and frantic, you dashed into the nearest hiding spot you could find. You tried in vain to calm your racing heart even as you held the ring in your hand. And held it close to your heart for good measure.
You looked over the bushes stealthily. You had enough view where you could peer into the royal gardens of the north gate. ... Wolfie was there, just as he said he would be. Looking up every spare moment to check the entrance of the gate.
The prince was dressed as you thought he would be. For once he appeared in fancier clothes than you had even seen him wear. It was casual but regal- the type of clothes that would still stick out even if he were to walk down the market square despite not being his official royal attire.
He was pacing back and forth, not dissimilar to how you were doing so last night.
Prince Link looked deep in thought. His head was down and his ears were flat against his head. His tail swished agitatedly behind him and it looked as if he was second from biting his finger off in anxiety. You’ve never seen him so uncertain before. Anxiety was something you didn’t think he was capable of. He looked scared.
Your stomach twisted in what only be called dread.
He was waiting for you to show up. 
You found yourself frozen on the spot. The weight of the ring was the only thing keeping you tethered to the moment. You watched him go back and forth. The more time passed, the more he seemed to curl into himself and speed up in his pacing. His tail, which was once moving in agitation, slowed down until it was still and between his legs by the end of it.
The clock struck noon.
Prince Link jumps out of his skin somewhat and he looks back toward where you would have been coming from. He takes a deep breath and stays for an extra ten seconds before he lets it go. Link looks close to tears as he wraps his arms around himself.
He turns to head back inside.
Spurred by your own impulsiveness, you take off sprinting. 
“Hey!” You scream. You stop at the entrance of the gate, unwilling to go further. You stomp in frustration, with yourself and the new barriers between you two. “You said noon! You couldn’t give me the benefit of the doubt?! The clock struck and I’m here! What do you want from me?”
Prince Link froze. His ears and tail perk up as he swivels in your direction. He tails gives his eletion away as it wags with enough force to nearly tear itself off. The unfallen tears still glimmer in his eyes as he stares agape at you. He gulps and breathlessly speaks. “...You’re here...”
You begin to shake as the tide of emotions threatens to throw you off of your feet. You’re scared and questioning everything in your life that would have lead you to this moment. “...I’m here...”
He begins to smile and takes a step in your direction.
You take a step back, stopping him in his tracks. You gulp and try to fight off your own tears. “I don’t know what you want from me.”
Twilight pauses, his elation falling somewhat at your reveal. He holds his hand out to you. “I just want to talk. I wanted to explain some things to you.”
You eye him suspiciously. “You were lying to me.... this whole time.”
A whine rips from his throat. “I know. I know... Please, this is why I had to tell you. Let me explain myself.”
You take a breath, holding the ring tightly within your fist.
Prince Link doesn’t move but he emphasizes his hand for you to take and lead you into the castle grounds.
Slowly, you take a step. Choking, you take a breath. And firmly, you take his hand.
You take your decision and let him lead you into whatever the future will hold for the two of you.
Prince Sky
You couldn’t help the feeling of dread as you rode on the back of the fabled loftwing. You had befriended it and took care of it when it was wounded. You didn’t think they would allow anyone to ride on their backs no matter what the relationship was.
The next level of absurdity was the idea that this was the prince of the kingdom in the skies that your home supposedly belonged to. you didn’t even think Skyloft was real and you’re flying toward it.
To go to your very own trial like a bitter and ironic cherry on top.
The bird, Prince Link, lands delicately on the solid ground above the clouds. He bends down for you to easily slide off. You do so but you find yourself weak in the knees.
It’s real. This whole place is real.
Arms wrap around you before you could even hit the ground.  “Easy. This way. I won’t let them do anything to you. You just have to keep your head on straight.”
“That’s easier said than done.” You gasp for breath and follow him.
The people stare at you.
They dress so differently than the surface does. You’re inclined to stare back until you hear the whispers.
“Is that them?”
“They’re with the prince.”
“Who allowed this? Aren’t they a threat to the prince?”
“Isn’t that why they’re here?”
“Someone call the knights. They must be separated.”
Prince Link starts walking faster. He brings you to a building where he’s quick to bring you into a secluded room. A man steps through the door, dressed to the nines and bows. “Prince Link. A thousand greetings. It is an honor to see you safe and sound in your home once more.”
“Luka, please.” Prince Link stands as he sits you down. “Some tea and snacks if you please. I need to explain some things to my guest.”
Luka, as you learn his name, glances just behind Prince Link and lands his eyes on you. “Is this the one you speak so fondly of?”
“Shush shshhh!” He panics. “Luka, please. Not here. Not now. They’ve called to trial. And It’s my fault.”
Luka nods and bows once more. “As you wish, your majesty.”
Prince Link sighs and moves to sit down next to you. He takes a moment to breathe before he looks at you. “I am deeply sorry that I’ve brought this to you. I don’t know what’s gone through their heads but the council is quite aware of my recent galivanting across the surface. I’ve compromised you in the process. They think this so called rebellion of mine is linked to you. I should have been more careful.”
“...I know you mean well.” You say at last. “But I was convinced that Skyloft wasn’t real only an hour ago. I don’t think I’m in the mental space to take on any more unexpected, life and reality altering truths.”
He chuffs out a laugh and throws his head back. “I don’t blame you. We live so disconnected to the life of the surface... But are we not of the same lineage. We are one in the same. Your people are my people. I am to be king soon. I just wanted to see. I didn’t think I would get attached to you as much as I have.”
You take in a breath and place your hands in your lap, not entirely sure what to do with them. “Now what?”
He looks over to you. “I need you to know that you’ve been brought to trial under the charges of-”
“Treason!” The doors burst open. An older gentleman that you’ve never seen before throws open the doors and points at you with clear fury in his eyes. “And seduction of the crown prince!”
Prince Link stands and moves to block you from the borderline charging man. “They have done no such thing. Those accusations are false and hearsay!”
You’re frozen. Treason? Seduction? You thought he was just a bird! You didn’t even think he was a man, let alone the prince. How could it be seduction?!
You say it as such.
“We are old but not blind or deaf to now that our prince has been disappearing and he talks of the surface with a forlorn look in eyes.” The council member glares.
“They are innocent.” The prince growls. “They shouldn’t be on Skyloft.”
“And yet you brought them.”
“Because I wish to see them well. Had they ignored it or refused, you would have had their head instead!”
“They have you under a spell! You would not speak of them as you do!”
“He speaks of me?” You say quietly, startling both of them.
Prince Link tenses as a blush begins to over take his features. You look up at him and notice it. You suppose he does. 
More so than you thought.
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mistyresolve · 1 year
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| Do You Read - John Price x F!Reader
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Requested by: ❤︎ @amelialistree ❤︎
Word Count - 1.5k
Summary - After being left injured by her squad, Y/n is desperate to get back into contact with someone, anyone who can send out 
Tags/Warnings - Explicit Language and Depictions of Injury, Found Family, Platonic Love, Oneshot  
A/N - I love this idea, thank you for asking me! i know it’s not like ellie and joel relationship at the beginning, but more so toward the end. 
Masterlist  ❤︎  Tag List Form
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Sweat dripped down the line of your back, slid down your temples, and coated your chest. The heat of the sun burned your skin, even when it was shielded by clothing, and even still, you shivered like you were freezing. Your legs and arms felt like they were filled with lead. Your tongue was ashen. Each breath felt like it was your last. If you didn’t succumb to your wounds, dehydration and heat exhaustion would definitely kill you. You managed to pack the wound with gauze to control the bleeding, but it had been nearly an entire day since the shrapnel had torn through your side. No amount of packing and gauze would keep you alive for much longer. You needed medical attention. And fast. 
It was all you could do to force yourself back into your legs, supporting almost all your weight on the side of a depleted house. Your vision went black for a second, and a hiss escaped your lips, “Keep with it,” with no way of knowing how much longer you’d be on your own it made you wary of each use of your limited energy. You didn’t even know if anyone was looking for you. If your squad had already given up on looking for you and classified you as MIA. You pushed the terrifying thought to the back of your mind. There was no room for the passim. All you knew was that there was a fort 50 km south of where you were. That and the fact that you refused to die alone. You left a trail of blood behind; breadcrumbs for any hostile who wished to finish you off. A demented part of you wished someone would, if only so you could see another human face before your final breath. 
You’ve tried reaching friendlies on your radio all night long, only to be met with nothing but static. The probability of them replying dropped with every passing hour, and the sun was well past noon. It would be nightfall again in a few more hours, and you knew you wouldn’t make it another night. 
“Bravo six, this is Echo niner,” you made it maybe 400 feet before sliding down another wall, “Do you read?” 
You waited one second. Five. A minute. 
Silence. 
Not even feedback. 
Nothing. 
Tears threatened to fall. There was no way this was how you were going to die. You made it out of an explosion alive. Evaded enemies injured and basically crawled into friendly territory. If the circumstances were different it might have been funny. 
“Please,” your voice cracked into the radio, “John…I need you to find me.”      
It must have been stupid luck or maybe some miracle, but a panicked familiar voice replied, “Talk to me, My Girl.” there was only one person who called you that and it was Captain John Price, “Tell me where you are.” 
Your exhausted body racked with a sob, “Eastern Quarter, in a residential area,” you looked around for any other noticeable markers, “There’s a school.”
“Can you make it to the school?” His voice was so pacifying, like he was teaching you how to ride a bike and he was asking you if you could make it to the end of the driveway. 
“I can try,” if you were well and unharmed the walk to the school would have taken you maybe five minutes, but in your current state I would take you triple that. Your knees started to give way to fatigue, and you collapsed several times before making it to the entrance of the school. Sling off your pack you reached for one of the smoke to help them find you. The green smoke caught the wind, blowing back down the street you came. 
That was good, if they were in the sky it would only make it easier for them to see it. With an agonized groan you lowered yourself to the dusty floor of the foyer, you were situated around a corner so if someone other than Price came for you you could buy yourself 5 seconds. What you’d do was a question only to be answered if that situation actually arose. Exhaustion tugged at your eyelids, and your breaths slowed. 
You watched as the wind ruffled the overgrown grass and foliage, and how it wafted the sweet smell of spring and new growth towards you. In a couple more weeks and budding flowers and leaves would be in full bloom. If you were allergic to all the pollen you would have appreciated the spring a little more. If only you would watch it all from afar. 
Your mind drifted into hallucinations and memories and you thought of home. Of your mom waiting for you at the kitchen table, dinner already on the table. Of your siblings and the all fights you used to have as kids. You thought of the night you told your mom you enlisted. How mad she’d become with you, how she cried and begged you not to go. How your older brother promised he would watch out for your mother while you were away. The hard conversations you would have with him about the possibility of you dying on the field. You thought of all the nights you spent on fire watch, always meandering to Price's office where he would undoubtedly be working on paperwork. He would almost always groan about privacy and “me time”, his eyes rolling. 
Price had become the father figure your biological one never could. Price had mentored you through your placements, how hard he was on you. How he had always had your back, how he always kept his eye on you even when you didn’t think he did. Price had become your guardian angel, saving you from yourself and bullets alike. Your first interaction with him had been at a base camp, unbeknownst to you you’d be going on a mission with him and his squad the next day. 
You wished you would have thanked him for all he had done for you more often. You wished you didn’t worry him so damn much.    
Blood crusted your fingernails and had already started to darken and dry on your clothes. Chin dropped to your chest you assessed yourself as you felt yourself fading in and out. In and out. In and out. 
You heard the sounds of the chopper before you could see it, but then again you could barely lift your head to look at the sky. Distantly you felt the wind shift as the machine lowered itself back to earth.   
The radio at your shoulder crackled, “Where are you?” 
Being too weak to call out or even reply back into the comms, you knocked the rifle you leaned against the wall so it would fall into view for Price. Your feet would be visible but the gun clattering to the pavement would draw their attention. Next were the sounds of running footfalls and the clanking of gear. 
When you opened your eyes you couldn’t focus, the sun was too bright and the shadows too dark, but you could make out the silhouette of Price. You huffed out a laugh, your voice just barely above a whisper, “You stop to pick up coffee on that? Took forever,” it certainly felt like they took forever to get to you when in reality it couldn’t have been more than a quarter-hour.  
The figure knelt at your side, cupping your face in his hand, “I need you to keep your eyes open for me.” 
“Oh, I’m not making it out of this one, John. I just didn’t want to be alone when I died.” you leaned into his touch, “Are you mad at me?” before you left on this damned mission you promises him you would be safe and stay alive. You broke that promise, “I’m sorry. I let you down,” you squeaked. 
“No. No. No, you didn’t.” he said thickly, a hand pressing into the wound at your side, “Keep your eyes open, My Girl.” 
You whimpered at the pressure and attempted to push his hand away, “I’m sorry.” 
“Where is the fucking corpsmen?” he yelled over his shoulder back to the chopper before turning back to you and lowering his voice, “You’re going to be okay. We’re going to get you out of here.”   
You shook your head, a single tear escaping and rolling down the side of your face, “I’m okay.”
“Damn rights you are. Don’t you dare give up on me,” he carefully pulled you into his arms, hoisting you up. 
You cried out and blood continues to seep through every inch of clothing, coating the front of his jacket, “It hurts. I want my mom.” 
“I know. I’m sorry. I know,” he carried you out of the school just as a vehicle pulled up. It was probably dispatched from the fort you were trying to make it to. A corpsman jumped out from the back, carrying a bag with him. 
Price carefully placed you onto the bed of the helicopter, hopping in next to you and making room for the medic, “Get us back to South Paw,” he ordered. You blindly reached for his hand, desperate for comfort. 
“Don’t leave me,” faintly you felt the medic cut away your uniform and gauze.
“Never.”
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A/N - Price is so grandpa 
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ironwoman18 · 1 month
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What if… Nezuko wasn’t a demon? - Part 2
Chapter 2: Training 
They arrived at his house by lunchtime and after they picked rooms for each one they ate and Giyuu explained what the Demon Slayer Corps was, he told them about the ranks among them and about their breathing techniques.
He planned a training for them so they developed the total concentration breathing, the healing breathing and how to keep them even in their sleep. He will work first on their body to get it stronger then he will work on their kendo.
After dinner he was in his bedroom when his crow flew in “new mission, new mission... Head north, head north... There are women disappearing” 
He signed and got up and put on his haori, then wrote some letters and sent them. He stood up and walked to both kids.
“Tanjiro and Nezuko. I have to go on a mission. I have to go for about a month or so. I won't be able to train you so I will send you with two people of my total trust, one is my master Sankoji Urokodaki and the other is a fellow Hashira and friend, Shinobu Kocho. Please enjoy and learn everything they teach you. When I return you will learn the Water Breathing techniques with me so you have to be strong” they nodded and Giyuu left after that.
The next day they follow the instructions to get to Urokodaki's home and to the Butterfly Mansion.
Once there Nezuko met Shinobu and after putting her stuff in her room, the training began.
The insect Hashira made sure Nezuko practiced Total Concentration breathing and how to keep doing it even in her sleep. Also doing training to gain strength, have a fast movement speed and become a better warrior.
On the other hand, Tanjiro did the same things plus increasing his sense of smell by surviving the traps Urokodaki put down the mountain.
During that month both Kamado siblings became stronger. Nezuko even learned how to do the power thrust that made Shinobu a powerful Hashira and she became friends with Aoi and the three girls that worked at the mansion, and even Kanao exchanged a few words with her which, according to Aoi, was quite rare.
Tanjiro enjoyed his time at the mountain as it reminded him when they were happy with his siblings and mother. He signed and this led to sharing his story to his master and he also told him about his time as a hashira and as part of the corps.
The month passed by faster than expected and both Kamado siblings became stronger and were able to master the control of their total concentration breathing and the basics of the sword. Now the next step will be learning how to use the water breathing.
When their last night arrived Nezuko ate dinner and went out to play with the girls. Shinobu looked out the window at them and sighed.
“Dear sister... I want to apologize to you because I envy those two girls...” She said looking at Nezuko and Kanao outside “they are younger and are almost the same height as me, and they are stronger and I'm sure they will be able to decapitate demons... I'm seventeen so I need to behave myself” she sighed “but at the same time I'm so proud of them and I'm looking for them to defeat that demon that killed you”
She took a deep breath and smiled as she watched them playing and relaxing. Tomioka must be already arriving home so she will take Nezuko with her and have a chat and maybe give him some of his favorite snacks.
Meanwhile Tanjiro and Urokodaki ate a lot of food and chatted. The old man missed having a young person with him, he missed talking with others about his profession and how he survived a lot of battles. 
The next day Tanjiro left early and went to Giyuu's house. Nezuko left with Shinobu and by noon both siblings were reunited and talking about what they did.
While Giyuu spoke with Shinobu, holding his master's letter as well.
“You and my master did a great job. I knew I could trust you with those two”
“I'm curious about Tanjiro. He seemed different from Nezuko”
“He has an amazing nose. He can smell even the emotions. Nezuko seems less skilled but as you told me, she's strong and mastered in a month your trusting technique”
“Yes and she managed to hear to Kanao’s voice which is something weird”
“Yeah, she's beyond quiet” he said, looking at her “now that I will start with the water breathing. I hope you and Kanao can come to train with us” she nodded, surprised by his proposal but very happy for that.
Then she left and the training began. He taught them the first form and both kids practiced it all day until it was natural for them. 
He decided that he will teach each form, day by day and then they will fight with bokkens against each other.
Giyuu noticed that Tanjiro had troubles with some techniques but maybe in the end he was able to do it. However Nezuko seemed more natural and learned them faster.
After they learned the eleven forms they started to practice in real combat, he made sure to add a prize for the winner so they would put some effort in the practices.
Sometimes he even fights with them in a one vs two. It was easy for him to win but as they mastered the water breathing they became stronger. It started to get harder to win.
When Kanao joined them, the same thing happened. At first she seemed very superior but the two Kamado siblings grew stronger and faster. Their teamwork made them stronger but when they were fighting in a one vs one. 
In the end it took a year and a half to be ready for the final selection. 
Giyuu gave them two swords he has as replacement for his official sword. Then they left with Kanao to the mountain where the selection will be held.
OOooOOooOO
This chapter was fun to write because I wanted to show both training and then how those two grew stronger by the day.
I hope you liked this one.
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askthepsychic · 4 months
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Part 2
As the day goes by, Twilight and Nyx continue to forego sleep. When noon comes with no sign of Fluttershy, Rey at first figures she’s just running late, but as the hours pass she begins to worry. Koenma has been with her all day, but he decides to briefly return to Spirit World in order to get someone to check on Fluttershy for Rey’s peace of mind. A few moments after he rejoins her, a new face joins them.
Koenma looks at the newcomer “ah, Yuna. Rey, as Spirit Detective, Yuna here will be working with you as your assistant. While you’re going to be the primary investigator and fighter, Yuna does have some potent skills of her own. Which makes sense considering she’s descended from two powerful warriors who played essential roles in the work of a former detective. Now, that being said, I assume you have a report regarding Fluttershy’s status?”
Yuna nods “yes, sir. I regret to inform it is apparent that we can no longer count on her involvement. Apparently one of her animal friends woke up sick this morning and has remained so all day.”
Rey grimaces “Fluttershy is nothing if not devoted to her animals. Out of curiosity, which animal is ill?”
Yuna looks at Rey “a rabbit named Marigold.”
Rey scoffs “of course it would be her. That rabbit is a direct descendant of Angel Bunny, an animal who was extremely cherished by Fluttershy in her original lifetime. That love has been inherited by his descendants. Heh. There’s practically no way Fluttershy will leave Marigolds side while she’s sick. She’s probably trying to convince herself that my message to her was just a strange dream, or that Twilight or Nyx must’ve fallen asleep at some point so she wasn’t needed in the end.”
Yuna nods “precisely. And while she’s convincing herself that you ended up not actually needing her at worst, you’re here watching time tick away without getting the necessary energy for your resurrection.”
Rey nods “and the silliest part is I can’t even be mad at my one hope. I love that Fluttershy is so caring towards her animals. Hmm. I wonder. Could my presence last night be responsible for Marigolds illness? I’ve heard it said that a ghost’s presence lowers the temperature around them and I’m sort of a ghost right now, right? Could the temperature change have made Marigold sick?”
Koenma hmms, rubbing his chin “it’s logical. Unfortunately.”
Rey sighs “so all that’s left now is to wait for this chance to be spent. I don’t believe for a second that mom or Nyx will fall asleep now, and Fluttershy’s not an option anymore either. As far as Spirit World’s ability to help me is concerned I’m finished.”
Koenma sighs. Yuna looks between the two of them, then looks at the clock in Rey’s room. There’s only three hours left until this gambit ends.
As the time ticks down, the three of them keep their vigil, Rey still secretly hoping for some miraculous last ditch effort, Koenma wondering if there was more he could’ve done to help Rey, and Yuna trying to think of a solution that might have escaped them.
Two hours left.
One hour left.
At forty seven minutes to the end, Yuna gasps, then Flies off as fast as she can, leaving the other two blinking surprisedly.
Meanwhile, at Fluttershy’s cottage, the pegasus sighs, taking a cloth from Marigold’s forehead to cool it down again. As she drops the cloth into a bowl of ice cubes and water, she blinks, hearing Marigold stirring. She looks back, but finds Marigold still asleep.
Then the descendant of Angel Bunny speaks.
“Fluttershy, you have to hurry. Time is running out. Remember your dream from last night. It was more than that. She needs you. You can get another animal to watch Marigold while you’re away. Please!”
Fluttershy blinks, stunned for a brief second, then turning to look towards the palace of friendship. She whispers one word “Rey” then she’s off like a rocket, pushing herself to achieve greater speed than she ever has before as she tries desperately to beat the clock.
As the clock approaches midnight, Rey blinks, not quite understanding what she just saw. The colors matched Fluttershy, but she’s never seen her move that fast.
Yuna comes up saying “she may not be known for it, but that pony can really move when she’s desperate. Marigold was asleep, so I temporarily possessed her to urge Fluttershy to act.”
Rey blinks “of course! One of the two criteria that are necessary for spiritual possession! I’m going in to get into position.”
The two Spirit World entities nod as Rey heads into her current bedchamber.
Five minutes left
Twilight and Nyx are startled by a commotion from the hallway, accompanied by what sounds like Fluttershy shouting out in desperation for Rey.
Four minutes left
Rey blinks, then flies through the door into the hallway, finding Fluttershy opening doors on each side of the hall.
Three minutes left
“FLUTTERSHY, IN HERE!”
“Rey? REY!”
Two minutes left
Fluttershy charges down the hall, stopping outside Rey’s door.
One minute left
Fluttershy throws the door open, her eyes falling on Twilight and Nyx laying on either side of Rey’s body, the glow starting to fade as the clock begins to announce the passing of the hour.
One chime
Fluttershy begins moving towards Rey, ignoring the questions Twilight and Nyx are asking.
Two chimes
Three chimes
Four chimes
Five chimes
Six chimes
Tears fall in Fluttershy’s wake as she continues desperately trying to reach Rey before time runs out.
Seven chimes
Eight chimes
Nine chimes
Fluttershy reaches Rey’s bedside and jumps up to her side, leaning down over her.
Ten chimes
An inch apart
Eleven chimes
Twelve chimes
The clock goes silent
Fluttershy slowly parts her lips from Rey’s, praying to see some movement from the pokemon. She looks over Rey’s body, looking for any sign that she made it, but at first it seems she failed. Her ears finally register the sounds of Twilight and Nyx’s voices as her body begins to shake with sobs.
She spends the next moment filling the two alicorns in on her dream, Twilight soon embracing her in shared grief. However, the two are startled out of their tears by Nyx speaking.
“I don’t think you failed.”
Fluttershy blinks, looking over at Nyx.
The lunar alicorn looks back at her “mother may be a divine, but she’s not the right type of divine to perceive spiritual things. So she is taking you at your word because she missed the blue glow that passed up your throat and into Rey. The life energy you were so desperately trying to deliver to her. But I saw it. The transference was completed.”
Fluttershy blinks, then looks at Rey again. And… there. An expansion of her chest. The sound of an inhalation.
Her eyes open. She rises and turns to look at the three of them. “I’m sorry I scared you, Fluttershy. Getting back into my body wasn’t as straightforward as I was expecting.”
Fluttershy leaps out of Twilight’s embrace, giving Rey one of her own. Twilight and Nyx aren’t far behind, embracing both of them together as the relief washes over all of them. Rey knows she won’t have long to relax. A threat greater than any she has yet faced is on the horizon. She will have to resume her training in two days at the latest. And pray that what she can hopefully now learn will be enough to tip the scales against Grogar.
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Chapter 46
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Glass Shards
Warnings: Very vague mention of periods, nightmares
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The next morning, Merridy realized why she had been feeling off—something she could have guessed sooner if she had paid attention to the fact that four weeks had passed since the last time. After a miserable breakfast, they decided to stay another day, while Damien insisted she take the drops and remain in bed.
By the time afternoon came around, he had taken care of restocking their provisions and verifying the route they had to take. He plopped down on the chair with a sigh.
“Johan told me to wish you a speedy recovery,” he said. “I told him you’re not feeling well, and that we’ll stay another night. He left around noon.”
“Mh.” She grabbed the pillow, folding it to prop her head up. “I should have said goodbye.”
“Don’t worry.” Damien grinned, rummaging around in the bag he had brought until he found an apple. “He was quite busy saying farewell as it was.”
Merridy laughed, sitting up carefully while Damien started to cut the apple into slices, removing the core. A part of her expected the pain to return at any wrong movement, but the drops worked well.
“You know, I was skeptical at first. He was so eager to invite us along,” she mumbled as she angled her leg to lean against the headboard. “Now I wonder how one single man can talk that much.”
“Impressive, wasn’t it?” Damien got up, bringing the small cutting board with the apple pieces over to the bed. He sat down on the mattress. “I tried my best to keep up, but sometimes he lost even me.”
Merridy picked up one apple slice, nibbling on it while casting a glance at Damien. She wasn’t big on meeting strangers and talking about random, meaningless things, but he had looked truly happy. She could imagine him talking to friends and neighbors, about glass perhaps, or cooking. How hard must it have been for him to isolate himself those last months?
After the second slice, Merridy paused, realizing he was still holding the cutting board. 
“What about you?” she asked.
Damien grinned, tapping his fingers on the underside of the board. “No hand free.”
“Oh, really?” 
She picked up another slice, holding it up to his mouth. A hint of uncertainty flashed across his features before he dared to take it. Merridy decided to ignore it. She cleared the cutting board, alternating eating a piece of apple and offering one. After popping the second last slice into her mouth, she held up the last for Damien.
“I don’t feel like leaving this room today,” she said. “Think we can have dinner here?”
“Of course.” His expression turned into a concerned frown. “Does it still hurt?”
“It’s not— I’m feeling all right.” Better than any other time in however many years, that much was certain. “I just don’t feel like… people.”
Damien’s expression softened. “Do you want me to leave you alone?” he asked, putting the cutting board down.
Never, was on the tip of her tongue. “You’re not people,” she mumbled instead, leaning against him.
Hours later, when the only light in the room came from the white moon behind the curtains, and Damien was long fast asleep, Merridy stared into the darkness. Spending most of the day napping left her wide awake now that she wanted to sleep.
The future was approaching too quickly, the uncertainty of it too heavy on her heart. More than anything, she wanted Damien to be happy. Happy and safe. For his sake, she wished his brother would be able to forgive him. Perhaps then they could stay near Nimrisé, where people didn’t seem to care much about news from the capital, or about the unrest in the west.
When she turned around, to wrap her arms around Damien, she clung to her dream; to sunny days in a garden, harvesting apples while he stood nearby, talking to a man who looked just like him, but younger.
The night was over too quickly, and before the sun had fully risen, they left their room. Merridy felt slightly nauseous from the drops she had taken, so they decided to take their breakfast with them and set out onto the road immediately. It led through fields in which the crops had started to sprout, some already in bloom. Compared to the Dragon Road, this one barely deserved the name; more of a path, trodden by countless feet and hooves and wagon wheels.
Between the pleasantly warm weather and the even road, they made good progress. More than enough farms lay on their way, allowing them to restock fresh eggs and vegetables, to supplement the more durable goods Damien had purchased. They didn’t walk until sunset anymore, always stopping sometime in the afternoon, when Merridy had the feeling that it was hard for Damien to keep on his feet. Walking hand in hand, she could feel him stumble more often, but of course, he never directly complained. Stubborn, she thought whenever she had to insist they take a break. 
Not that she wasn’t grateful for an early rest herself. Her nights were still far from peaceful, with her waking up multiple times—sometimes every hour—and taking ages to fall back asleep. In the hours between them setting up camp and sunset, she managed to sneak in an hour or two of sleep. Damien never commented on it, but when she woke up, he always sat near her, preparing dinner or just staring into the fire.
Between their slow speed and early pauses, the estimated five days stretched into seven. On the last afternoon before their arrival in Nimrisé, the weather began to turn. Dark clouds rolled in as they hurried along the road, hoping to find shelter in time. No fields lined the road, but untamed meadows littered with young trees; no sign of civilization, and nothing to offer them any protection from the incoming storm.
When they finally spotted a farm, the first drops were already falling. Side by side, they ran across the path towards the house, but the closer they came, the more Merridy’s heart sank. A large tree had once fallen onto the main building, the now barren trunk still stuck in the ruins. Most of the roof had caved in, and rubble and debris were scattered all over the place.
“There’s a shed.”
Merridy followed Damien to a small, wooden building, clearly in disrepair, but not looking half as dangerous as the main building. It was surely better than getting soaked to the bone.
He put all his weight against the door, ushering her in as soon as the opening allowed it. Inside, she could barely see her hand in front of her eyes. Feeling along the wall, she shuffled forwards, trying her best not to stumble over scattered tools and broken planks.
“That’s better.” Damien tried to pull the door closed, but gave up halfway. “Wait.”
An orb of warm, yellow light rose between them. Merridy smiled, glad Damien had decided to use his magic without hesitation—and equally glad she could finally see where she was going. In the corner furthest from the door, she sat down her backpack and started to untie the sleeping bag.
“We can’t make a fire in here,” Damien said as he stepped next to her. “Wouldn’t find enough dry wood anyway.” He took off his backpack as well, handing his sleeping bag to Merridy before he started to look for food that wouldn’t need a fire. 
A few minutes later, they sat side by side, leaning against the wall with one of the sleeping bags spread over their legs. Since they had given the glowing crystal back to Robin, Damien kept the orb of light up. While the storm started to rage above them, they shared bread, cheese and strips of dried meat. Heavy winds tore at the shed, but despite the raindrops pattering on the wooden planks, no water made it to where they were sitting. 
By the time Merridy had finished her bread and cheese, Damien had barely started to eat. Chewing on a strip of meat, she watched him stare at nothing in particular. Three times, he raised the same piece of cheese to his lips, then lowered his hand again without eating.
“What’s wrong?” she finally decided to ask.
“What am I going to do?” Damien sighed. “Tomorrow, I mean. I can’t… I can’t just walk up to his door and… do what, knock? Like nothing happened?”
“Why not? He’s your brother.”
A bitter laugh escaped Damien’s lips, and the orb started to flicker. “He hates me,” he whispered. 
“I don’t think he does.”
Damien put his untouched food aside, closing his eyes and leaning back against the wall. “Last time we saw each other… I threatened to kill him. And he… he left…” His voice broke. In the split moment before the orb vanished, she saw a shimmer in the corner of his eye. “He left me behind. He knew they were going to kill me.”
Merridy tried to remember all Damien had told her about what had happened back then, but he had kept most details to himself. “Do you think he wanted that? Could he have saved you?” she asked. 
“I don’t know. No. I don’t… I don’t think so.” His laugh sounded dangerously close to a sob. “I can’t blame him for not trying. I destroyed his life. But then he was gone, and there wasn’t a day… not a single day… where I didn’t wish I could see him one more time. To take my words back. To tell him that… I… I love him. I love him so much.” 
It was completely dark now, but Merridy could tell that Damien was crying. 
“Hey. It’s okay.” She wrapped her arms around him, holding him. “It’s okay. That was… Neither of you could think clearly back then.” If only she could believe her own words, could trust that Valadan didn’t truly hate his brother. “Things are different now. I’ll be there. I’ll make him listen to you. And if he tries anything… I’ll bite his ankle while you run away.”
Damien laughed through his tears, hugging her in return. “Please do not,” he said, his voice trembling.
“We should try to get some sleep,” she mumbled into his shoulder. Her eyes were burning, but her voice sounded steady enough, she hoped. “Not like we can do much else. And tomorrow the storm will be over, and we’ll find your brother, and you’ll talk to him, and everything will be all right.”
* * * 
Damien stared into the darkness of the shed, listening to the howling of the storm, all but drowning out Merridy’s quiet breaths. As her warmth slowly chased away the cold that had settled deep inside his body, he found himself wide awake, despite the exhaustion.
He wanted to believe her words, he truly did. A part of him—a ridiculous part—still hoped Valadan could forgive him. But if he was realistic, the best he could hope for was that his brother would believe him. After all, that had been the reason to set out on this journey; to make sure Valadan would no longer assume Damien was going to hurt his family.
But what if he wasn’t going to believe him? Or if anything else went wrong? While Damien turned every possible way the confrontation could go in his head, the hours passed. He was still no closer to falling asleep when Merridy stirred. Her hands twitched against Damien’s side, her breaths picking up speed.
“Merry?”
There was no reply. In the light of the glowing orb Damien summoned, he could see her face distorted in distress.
“N-no,” she whimpered.
It clearly wasn’t the good kind of dream. He had been more than grateful every time she had pulled him out of one of his nightmares, so he raised his hand to her shoulder.
“Wake up.” He shook her lightly. “Wake up, you’re dreaming.”
She whimpered again, but didn’t open her eyes. Damien raised his hand to her cheek.
“Merry. Wake up!”
Merridy’s eyes flew open, a strangled scream on her lips.
“Don’t… don’t touch me, don’t touch—” Her need to breathe caught up with her flurry of pleas and she started to gasp, then cough, then wheeze. 
Damien pulled his hand back so quickly as if he had burned himself. She scrambled away from him, trying to free herself from the blanket her legs were tangled in. With every moment she was trapped in them, her movements became more erratic, her breaths coming too quickly.
Slowly, so as not to scare her even more, Damien grabbed the other end of the blanket. He held it so she could finally slip out and scramble to the other side of the shed where she pressed herself into the corner. Damien watched helplessly. 
“Merry.”
At the sound of her name, she flinched. He opened his mouth. Closed it again. Then decided he had to try anyway.
“It’s me. Damien. It was just a dream.”
A shiver ran through her body. “I know.” When she tried to curl up, she gasped in pain, freezing. With one hand pressed against the floor and the other against her chest, she fought to get her breaths long enough under control to say, “Don’t. Don’t come closer. Please.” Her voice broke into a sob. “Please.”
The words cut straight through Damien’s heart. Just a nightmare, he tried to tell himself, swallowing against the lump in his throat. His own left him disoriented more often than not, with terror clinging to his mind long after he awoke. She only needed to calm down. Still; at this moment, she was afraid of him, and it broke his heart.
“Merry…”
Seeing her flinch once more at the sound of his voice, Damien snapped his mouth shut. He pulled himself up, to lean against the wall, the wood cool and damp under his shoulder. He blinked away the tears in his eyes, angling his leg so he had a place to rest his hand on. The rain pattered on the roof and against the wall, but it wasn’t loud enough to drown out the noise of her crying quietly in the corner.
And there was nothing he could do.
Damien put every bit of focus into keeping the glow of the light steady. It was better than to focus on the way her hands shook, or how her muffled sobs left her gasping for breath, or the question of what exactly her nightmare might have been about.
After what might as well have been an eternity, she shifted, straightening up. Damien’s head snapped up, but he forced himself not to move otherwise. He watched as she slid along the wall—not looking at him, not looking at anything. When she passed under the glowing orb, the streaks her tears had left on her cheeks shimmered in the light. 
Next to him, she stopped, freezing in place, with only her chest rising and falling too quickly. Then, slowly, she pushed her hand towards him, until her fingertips brushed his knee. Damien barely dared to breathe. Everything in him screamed to reach for her, to hold her close, to promise her that she was safe, but he resisted.
Only when her palm rested full on his knee did she raise her head. Her gaze met his, holding it for a moment only before she sank against him, trembling like a leaf. With slow movements, and watching for any sign that he was scaring her, Damien reached for the blanket.
“It’s okay. You’re okay,” he whispered, pulling the blanket up to her shoulders. 
Merridy’s next breath turned into a sob, but she didn’t flinch away from him or his voice any longer. Damien put his arm around her, dimming the orb’s glow. In the darkness of the night, she cried into his chest until her tears ran out, and all that was left were dry sobs, coming back whenever it seemed like she had calmed down. 
Damien held her while she clung to him, her fists grabbing handfuls of his shirt. “You’re okay,” he whispered from time to time, rubbing his thumb over her back. “You’re okay.”
She wasn’t; she clearly wasn’t. But what else could he do? What else could he say? He couldn’t even promise he’d keep her safe. He had been right there when those monsters had hurt her, unable to stop them. 
Eventually, all tension left Merridy’s body. She must have fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion. Damien kept holding her, not wanting to risk waking her by putting her down. It was probably futile to hope her sleep would be much more peaceful this time, but he would make sure not to disturb her unless absolutely necessary.
As for himself, there was little chance of him finding rest this night, lying down or not. Damien closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall. Facing his brother after a sleepless night wasn’t going to make things easier. The thought scared him. It had to turn out well. If he wouldn’t be able to make Valadan believe him, all they had been through—all she had been through—would have been for nothing.
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[ID: The top image is a banner covered in colorful glass shards. Across it is written the title of the story, glass shards, in a white to bright cyan gradient with a black outline. The font looks like written with a broad paintbrush. All other images in this post are purely ornamental lines. End ID.]
@dont-touch-my-soup @starrysky-whumpfics @kixngiggles @starlit-hopes-and-dreams
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neverforpickles · 2 years
Note
what's your favourite omega!harry fic? or favourites, if you're feeling generous enough to share
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Hii, I am not much of a fan of Omega Harry but here’s a list of the ones I like (including but not limited to):
We Are Inevitable
/ mmargarita
“What’s the second flaw?”
“The second inevitable flaw in your plan is:” Louis stood straight and walked towards Harry, grabbing his chin. Harry’s breath hitched. “Us.” Louis smiled. “We’re inevitable, baby. We’re soulmates, and we both know it. You just need to come back to me.”
drunk on rose water
/ brainwaves
It’s the first time in a few years that Harry has a strong desire to risk everything for something he loves.
The last time, it was being a fashion model. This time, it’s Louis.
All I want
/ quitefinishedlove
“Remember this one film we watched two days ago? ‘Thirty, flirty and thriving’, that's you Lou. Not ancient, wheezing and dying, come off it.”
“Says my 18 year old boyfriend, fine then.”
“Your capabilities are still hitting the market, old man. Business and pleasure wise.” He punctuates each word slyly with sloppy nibbles on Louis’ skin, but not too playful to leave marks.
“With all that feisty little attitude you’re generating, you’re aware your bum is leaking though?”
They both laugh when they feel the trickling come passing Louis’ thighs from Harry’s twitching hole. He feels Louis pulling out five minutes later as they both settle in side by side.
(or the one where Harry gets pregnant at 18, without his alpha’s knowledge)
solids as a stone (when everything is gone)
/ anonymous
“Why’d you take me with you?”
Louis startles at the question, the car almost swerving off the road in the process. He holds his breath as he waits for the twins to wake up and start wailing, but they don’t. They keep sleeping on peacefully, covered in the family blanket.
Harry’s looking at him with an unreadable expression.
Louis takes a minute, mulling it over. He answers quietly. “I hate to say it, but as much as we hate each other, I can’t bear to leave you alone to deal with this whole thing all by yourself.” and I wouldn’t be able to bear it if you died, he adds in his mind.
or, it's the zombie apocalypse and Louis is stuck with Harry, with whom he shares a complicated relationship with.
High Noon Or Midnight, I Don’t Want To Know
/ @creamcoffeelou
The intruder stands there for too long before he reaches into his bag, pulling a length of rope into his hands.
The darkness is too overpowering for Harry to make out any of the alpha’s features, rather he can only see the sweeping movement of his hands, his legs as he takes a step closer. Harry knows what’s happening, can see exactly how this is going to play out, but he almost doesn’t want to fight the idea.
“Wait,” Harry starts. The words come faster than he intends, mouth moving before he can think through what he’s saying. “Let me get dressed and pack a bag. And then I will go with you.”
OR: Harry is an omega prince who doesn't want the crown and will do anything to escape. Louis is an alpha who does and will do anything to get it.
Is it a sign?
/ bluegreenish
“Also, I didn’t mean it literally,” Harry continues his rambling, gesticulating to support his point. “You don’t owe me a beer and I surely don’t expect you to buy me anything, it was just to start a conversation but you’re obviously not interested in that. Which, again, maybe next time an omega, or anyone really, approaches you, you could convey -”
To Harry’s surprise, he’s interrupted by the handsome stranger, who’s been weirdly fixated on his lips the whole time. What a creep!
“You speak so fast, I can’t read your lips like this.”
What? Harry’s frown deepens and he just stares at the man, waiting for him to explain. Because why the hell would he need to read Harry’s lips? They’re not in some detective movie.
The man rolls his eyes at Harry’s obvious lack of understanding.
“I’m deaf,” he huffs and points to his ear.
And oh. Yikes. That’s kind of embarrassing.
or, the one where Harry meets a certain handsome alpha at his sister's wedding and learns that speaking verbally doesn't have to be the only means of communication.
Let’s Embrace The Point Of No Return
/ sweaterpaws
Louis was a whole new scale of beautiful, he was richer than Harry could've ever imagined, and he was the most powerful, dominant alpha that Harry had ever come in contact with. The only problem now is that Louis is also Harry's boss.
Louis believed Harry was an alpha, and had no idea about how he had lied about his status just to get an interview with Louis. He was in too deep now and he couldn't look back.
Or
Harry is an omega intern at an all alpha company. Louis is his boss. There's some complications.
I Sail With You
/ @afangirlfantasy
Against his wishes, Omega Prince Harry Styles is arranged to mate with someone he doesn’t love, much less knows. Though he pleaded to his parents incessantly, they not only refuse to comply but force him to depart on a ship days later. Harry prays for fate to step in, to change what’s to come, however, the answer he is given is not exactly in the form he had hoped.
Enter Will Tommo – deadliest pirate captain of all seven seas.
I Think You’re Already Home
/ @jaerie
Seeing Louis Tomlinson today, it would be hard to guess that he was ever once a member of the world's most famous boyband. These days he doesn't even the leave his own house. The truth is he can't leave his own house. He can't even remember the last time just standing at an open door didn't send him into a debilitating panic attack. But, against his friend's advice, Louis is ready to add meaning to his life again. He's ready to start a family. So what if he doesn't have an omega? There are plenty of surrogacy services just waiting to help the rich and famous become parents. He just has to find the right one for the job.
We Got The World Shaking
/ FutureMrsHaroldStyles
Suddenly Louis is taking Harry’s hand in his own and turns to his sister. “I’m taking him to my room. Don’t worry I’m going to take care of him. Now go and enjoy your party, little sis!”
And with that Louis leads Harry to the elevator. The thoughts in Harry’s head are going wild but they all come down to Fuck am I really gonna spend my heat with Louis Tomlinson?
Or the one where Harry goes into heat at his best friend Lottie's birthday party and her big brother helps him out.
No Love Like Your Love
/ Rearviewdreamer
When it comes to saving the world from itself and convincing rich CEOs of environmentally harmful companies to go green, there's nobody better than Harry Styles. That is, until Louis Tomlinson, his ex and former Alpha, is involved.
Seeing Blind
/ zedi
Louis finally turns his head in Liam’s direction, knows his face is showing the longing he’s been aching with ever since it took root in his chest. “What the fuck do I do, Liam? He wouldn’t want me like that, but I want-” his voice cracks, and he turns his face back downwards. “What do you do when you’re not perfect for the person who’s perfect for you?”
OR the one where Harry’s an independent omega who likes to have his fun and Louis is the blind alpha that changes Harry’s priorities.
Wolf Boy (Like No One Else)
/ cristalrush
Harry turned his head and smelt the pillow. He was slowly waking up but didn’t want to. He wanted to stay asleep and keep smelling that scent. He was certain it was only made up by his brain because nothing could smell like that. So good and relaxing but at the same time exciting and new. He tucked the soft blanket higher up, so he could hide under the covers for a while longer. His aunt would come soon and wake him up.. Except... no, Marie was not coming to wake him up. He wasn’t at home. He was somewhere he didn’t even know, sleeping in someone else’s cabin and this wasn’t his bed.
Harry sat up fast, the blanket falling down on his lap. Harry looked around the room and saw a boy in front of him, sleeping in an armchair with a baseball bat next to him. And that was when Harry screamed.
Or the one where Harry leaves his old pack in hopes to find his soulmate. And that’s when he meets Louis, an alpha who doesn’t believe in soulmates.
Si Pudiera Volar
/ @softfonds
When Harry’s fiancé leaves him for his cousin, he looks the other way for the sake of his happiness. He’ll do anything to forget about him, including joining a monastery. It isn’t until his cousin’s former lover, a pirate, appears that he realizes everything is not as it appears, and an honest pirate might be the only person worthy of his heart.
Or, a fic loosely based on Corazón Salvaje.
Shadows Come With The Pain That You’re Running From (Love Was Something You’ve Never Heard Enough)
/ hlftanna
“Thanks, Ni, I guess I needed to hear that,” Harry sighed and wrapped his own arms around Niall and squeezed him tightly not caring if Liam would be mad. He missed Niall so much.
“Does it really come as a surprise to you that I’m right? Shaking my head, Haz. You should know me better,” the brunette teased.
Harry giggled again.
“You know Hazza, you really are so different to all the other alphas out there. You’re soft, caring, cuddly and sweet and those damn dimples. So freaking pretty, it’s almost annoying. I would hate you if you weren’t my best friend. You’d really be a brilliant omega. Nature really did a number here,” Niall mumbled. It was his turn to smash his nose into Harry’s neck and Harry was extremely thankful for that because he wasn’t sure he had his facial expression in check at all.
Or a Band AU in which Harry isn't allowed to be who he really is and the North American Tour might bring some unexpected truths into the web of lies and also a bit of heat that has very little to do with the summer in the US.
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Text
Chapter 6 - Blood and Fear
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warning : angst, hurt/comfort, kiss, emotional, blood, treating an injury
masterlist, next chapter
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The night stretched across the countryside and caught up with the fleeing group. The moon was the only light hanging over the car. Logan, however, did not think it necessary to turn on the headlights. The mutant seemed comfortable in the limited light.
At least both that he could see in the darkness. ,,That'll only lead them to us," he had hummed when Bobby had asked him about it. Bobby's blue eyes darted to the sleeping Rogue who had leaned her head against the back seat.
To make it more comfortable for her, Bobby had moved behind Logan so his girlfriend could move her seat back. She slept soundly and was oblivious to the darkness. John was still passed out and still being held by Bobby.
He had not let go of the mutant with the pyrokinesis. ,,How's our flamethrower?" asked Logan, rousing Bobby from his dozing state. The Kyrokinesis-worthy mutant glanced briefly at John, who filled him with concern.
The colour in his face had drained from him. He was almost as white as a sheet and Bobby was afraid he was causing more damage with his cold temperature.
John looked completely exhausted, pale skin, a warm forehead, and cold sweat were a bad mix, even Bobby knew that. ,,He's hot and cold at the same time, he's way too pale" said Bobby who coated his hand with ice and placed it on John's forehead.
The unconscious teenager unconsciously moved closer to Bobby and his cold. He wanted more of the cold and away from the flames. ,,He'll be fine," Logan admonished and drove even faster along the streets. This went on for a while, cooling John and trying to keep him warm at the same time.
Hours until Bobby fell asleep, exhausted, leaning against John. Still holding him. It was not until early noon that the group arrived at Bobby's street and home. Rogue was still asleep leaning against the seat.
Only Bobby was awakened by a movement. Tiredness ran through his mind despite the fact that he had slept for a few hours.
Looking around, he swallowed and realised that he was close to his house. But he closed his eyes again and tried to fall back into sleep. He dozed off easily, completely unaffected by what had happened, or so it seemed.
He felt a movement beside him. John had woken from his unconsciousness and was trying to get some orientation in his mind. Since he still thought he was in a larger room, he tried to move.
But when John broke away from Bobby, he fell back into the seat with a hiss. Pyro's hand went to his shoulder and he stifled a pained noise. ,,What the hell happened?" he asked and tried to look at his shoulder. The ice was no longer there and it hurt because it was no longer cooled.
Logan glanced in the rearview mirror and watched John wake Bobby. The blue-eyed man woke up with a jolt as if he expected to be attacked at any second. The short doze off had more effect.
Bobby rubbed his eyes and sighed heavily. His neck was stiff and his heartbeat was going too fast from his nightmare. However, as his eyes took in the awake John, his lingering fear disappeared. ,,You're finally awake. How are you?" he asked, clearly concerned about his critical condition.
John again grimaced painfully before answering. ,,I'm hot and cold at the same time. I feel like my head is going to explode and I feel like shit. But other than that I'm fine, thanks Bobby," he finished his sentence with a sarcastic undertone.
He rolled his eyes slightly but Bobby saw that he was somehow grateful. ,,He looks good to me. Put another load of ice on it until we get to you and treat him," Logans gave an opinion. An opinion that stood.
Bobby did as he was advised and was about to re-freeze John's wound when he flinched. He saw fear in the dark eyes, the fear that the pain would keep coming, worse than usual. ,,I won't hurt you, I promise," Bobby said calmly, as he had last night in the kitchen.
He remembered that moment together when he had trusted him. But John's brown eyes reflected the newly built trust. Gently he let the ice form on the wound. He heard the hiss of the ice and John's tense hiss. But he seemed relieved not to have to concentrate too much on the pain.
After the wound had been provisionally treated again, they drove a short distance before Bobby announced that they had arrived. The area was the same, the houses were the same, the memories were the same. Logan parked the car on the side of the road and got out to wake Rogue.
Meanwhile, Bobby got out first before offering John a hand, which he took after a moment's hesitation. John leaned on Bobby after the other had made the offer. ,,Thank you," the fire user murmured and put his arm on Bobby's shoulder. But the blue-eyed man saw that the pyromaniac was already holding his left side spasmodically still. 
He's in more pain than he'd like to admit, Bobby Drake observed, and it hurt more than he thought. After standing in front of the locked door, Bobby involuntarily let go of his friend. The spare key his mother had given him was still lying under the doormat.
Nothing had changed. The door was quickly unlocked and John was on his way to the bathroom with Bobby. ,,Rogue, can you get the first aid kit from the kitchen and I'll do it with Logan here," Bobby said.
The girl nodded and disappeared while he and John went into the relatively large bathroom. John sat down on the edge of the tub. ,,Stay calm," Logan muttered as he extended his claws and cut John's top, which was ruined beyond repair.
John couldn't take it off that easily anyway. The brown-haired man hissed slightly. Bobby also looked at the wound, but his eyes kept running over the other man's naked torso.
The skin underneath seemed soft, warm and he suppressed the urge to let his hand wander over the skin. Pull yourself together, he said to himself and looked back at John.
He tried not to let the pain show as well as he could. ,,Bobby, I need you now, don't stare," Logan shook him out of his grief. He hadn't noticed how Rogue had already picked up the suitcase. But she didn't seem to be able to handle blood or the whole sight.
She stammered something before closing the bathroom door behind her and walking out. ,,Bobby, you will disinfect the wound and then I will get the bullet out. Then I'm going to sew it up and you're going to put on a bandage with a compress, understand?" but Bobby only nodded before wiping his sweaty hands lightly on his trousers.
He was too excited, they were all too excited. ,,Oh and John this is going to hurt a little" Logan said before giving Bobby the okay to start. Bobby was going to carefully spray the medicine on the wound, but he realised it wasn't enough.
It made John hiss and he seemed to understand that it had to be done differently. With a ,,Sorry" Bobby opened the bottle and poured out the contents over the wound. Only a fraction later John cried out again and tried to escape the pain. He rose from the tub only to be pushed back down by Logan.
He screamed and cursed, his hands clutching at the edge of the tub. Tears ran down the teenager's cheek and Logan struggled to keep him still. ,,Should we stop?" Bobby asked worriedly and gave John an apologetic look. It hurt to see him like this. ,,No, go on," John interrupted his friend, almost screaming in frustration and pain. At John's command, Logan grabbed the tweezers and began to pull the bullet out.
John screamed again and this time Bobby had to hold his friend down with great difficulty. He pushed him back onto the edge of the tub and said it would be OK. ,,I'm here for you," he mumbled, not knowing why, but hoping John would hear through the pain. After Logan got the bullet out, Bobby disinfected the wound again, much to John's chagrin.
Screams and heavy breaths still echoed through the bathroom. The pyromaniac was slow to calm down and only after Logan had left the two of them alone in the bathroom with the bandages did he let go of the tub rim he had been clutching.
His breathing slowly calmed down again. He's still pale but at least he's not dying Bobby thought and looked at John. Holding the compress in place and finally wrapping the bandage around the wound, it was done.
He would survive. Only after he had realised that he had dreamily stroked the other man's skin did he withdraw his hand.
But John had not pushed him away either, he had allowed it. ,,You should rest, you need to get your strength back" Bobby decided, helping John to stand up. ,,Thank you Bobby" John mumbled and gave him a thankful look.
He took John downstairs to the couch as Bobby's bed was too small for the mutant. Besides, it would be occupied by Rogue depending on how long they stayed. After John sat on the couch, carefully finding a non-painful position, Bobby disappeared into the loft.
Left him alone and knew it was all right after all. Running back up the stairs and hauling out the ladder to the attic and going up he found himself in the old room.
It had been years since he had last been here. It was dusty, dark and yet he remembered every detail. The memories the boxes and cartons held.
Some better and some worse. The over-inside guilt that he had ruined the perfect family with his "high talent". But the blame came from his brother who had always been jealous of Bobby. But he wanted nothing more than a brother. He just wanted to have a normal life.
But he didn't have that, he was a mutant and he had to come to terms with that. He left the box with his old clothes and went to the clothes rail. On it were old clothes from both his parents and grandparents.
But there were also a few of his things that he had not taken to school. He took these, together with a few pieces from his parents, from the clothes hooks and went back to his friends with them.
With the clothes over his arms he had closed the stairs again. He was about to go down when he saw Rogue in his. The girl looked around his room, lost in thought. ,,Do you like what you see?" he asked, aware of the double meaning of his question.
He liked the curious look in her eyes as she looked at everything. It was cute. Slightly startled, Rogue spun around before a soft smile curled her lips.
She detached herself from Bobby's shelf of old toys and walked over to her friend. Before Bobby could say anything, she grabbed the clothes. ,,They're my mother's but I think they'll have to fit" he explained to his girlfriend who was standing in front of his mirror holding the clothes against her body.
One piece after the other to find at least one that suited her. ,,They are pretty, thank you," she thanked him before she started to put the clothes on Bobby's bed. And let her eyes wander over the clothes again. The teenager was about to say ,,No problem" when he understood what Rogue was doing.
He felt the warmth on his cheeks as she began to undress. To give his girlfriend some space he turned around. He heard the rustle of the clothes as she hummed lightly to herself, teasing him.
But his desire, his curiosity was stronger and he decided to test something. He knew Rogue was watching him from the mirror in front of her. ,,Do you like what you see?" asked the girl with the other intention behind her as she stood in front of her boyfriend in just her B-H and panties. One step further Bobby thought and knew that the relationship between them was starting.
Carefully and with feeling he dared to put his hand on the girl's shoulder. He saw her pleased and yet tense gaze. her strength was not yet showing any effect. He felt her goose bumps.
He felt the girl's pulse increase as he passed over her neck. She's excited too, Bobby noted, reassured by this fact. As Rogue spun around he saw that certain something in her eyes again. ,,Rogue do you want-" he was interrupted as Rogue pressed her lips to his. It was the couple's first real kiss and there couldn't have been anything better for Bobby.
The kiss was gentle yet demanding, her lips warm and soft. He saw that Rogue had closed her eyes and watched himself and his girlfriend in the mirror. Before he too opened his eyes and enjoyed it.
Enjoying the warmth...that he could also get from someone else. When he opened his blue eyes again he almost flinched. John stood in the doorway and looked at the two of them with a kind of disdain and disbelief.
But there was something else that stabbed Bobby in the heart, it was infinite hurt. He felt like he was cheating on John, but why? ,,John, I-I wait-" Bobby was about to stop the other from leaving when he went back downstairs.
He received a puzzled look from Rogue, from whom he had broken away, much to her chagrin. Why am I so upset?   ran through his head. ,,Are you all right? Is he worse?" Rogue asked her boyfriend, sighing as she pulled on her clothes.
She had hoped for more. More than Bobby. But Bobby just shook his head and mumbled something like ,,I'm just guessing...don't worry, everything's fine". He went back to her and gave her a quick kiss and ran his hand through the white strand of hair he loved so much. He saw her smile and her joy.
Before he gave his girlfriend space and decided to go downstairs to Logan and John. Once downstairs, he found John on the couch.
The brown-haired man was playing with the lighter and his gaze was fixed on the flame. Bobby just stood behind the couch for a moment, watching his friend.
He saw that Allerdyce was tense and that his wound seemed to be particularly painful. He hadn't been given any anaesthetic either.
He didn't know if he should say anything, so he wordlessly put John's clothes on the edge of the couch. He opened his mouth but didn't know what to say.
Before he decided to go to Logan in the kitchen. Logan had just taken a beer from the fridge and opened it. ,,How's our flame?" he asked, watching the teenager's reaction closely with alert eyes. Bobby's gaze travelled down the hall to the living room and lingered for a moment on the figure.
Still the flamebender stared at the small flame of the lighter. It seemed to calm him or fuel his rage Bobby didn't know for sure.
When Logan thought Bobby wouldn't answer, he opened his mouth and was about to say something when they heard the key in the front door. ,,Shit, my family," he muttered to himself before he heard their voice. His family was back and with them new problems.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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mercurialrain · 2 years
Text
Day 10: Vampire
Felix crept through the dark forest, glancing left and right as he did, making sure that he wasn’t going to be snuck up on. He clutched his crossbow tighter, shifting the weight of the stakes in it. It was his personal reassurance to himself that any vampire brave enough to take him on would wind up a pile of ashes by the next high noon, which gave him comfort. 
He felt a gust of wind behind him and whirled, pointing his crossbow at the empty air. Every instinct was telling him that he wasn’t alone anymore, that there was a predator out there. And he was the prey. 
But he didn’t intend to go down without a fight. He was trained for this, he would complete this hunt as he had several others before it.
“A hunter?” a voice by his ear said. “Interesting.” He turned again, but there was only the remnants of a laugh in the air by the time he’d finished moving. 
A few minutes passed before he heard a dramatic sigh above him and looked up to see a girl sitting on a tree branch, swinging her legs like a small child might. 
“You are significantly more boring than I thought you would be,” she informed him.
Without saying a word, he shot a stake at her, expecting it to bury itself in her heart easily, as it had with the others. 
But that’s not what happened. In seconds, she’d sliced the stake in half and dropped from the tree with a fluid grace, using her supernatural speed to pin him to a tree with an arm across his shoulders. She plucked his crossbow from his hand like it was a toy, using one elongated nail to snap the strings, rendering the weapon useless before tossing it aside and fully focusing on him. 
Felix stared defiantly at her, unwilling to let his last moments be full of undignified blubbering and pleading. The force she was using to keep him pinned against the tree was significant, but it was almost as if she was taking care not to hurt him, which was odd. 
“So, what do they call you, hunter?”
He blinked. “Why do you want to know my name?”
“Humor me.”
He scoffed. “Humor you? A vampire? A killer?”
She narrowed her red eyes and the pressure on his shoulders increased to an almost painful level. “I have killed none that did not deserve it. I believe that you cannot say the same. Now, your name.” 
He had been trained to resist vampiric hypnotism, but hers was abnormally strong and overrode his usually impenetrable mental walls. “Felix.”
The pressure abated and she looked pleased. “Was that so hard? Now, Felix, I do not wish to kill you. However, you did attempt to kill me, so a price must be paid for that.”
Now, he was a trained vampire hunter and had significant practice in resisting vampiric wiles. However, this vampire was the most beautiful he’d ever seen and she was pressed against him, so his imagination started to run wild at the phrasing. It made his heart pound faster and the slight tilt of her head told him that she heard the increased pace. Several emotions flickered over her face, but they were all gone too fast for him to recognize them.
“Normally the price I ask is blood, as vampire hunter blood ironically tends to be more filling than regular blood. However, it seems like there is something else,” she trailed a hand dangerously low, “that you want?” 
She phrased it as a question and had given him the other option of what she had actually meant before his imagination took hold. She was giving him an out, allowing him to choose the price, which for any other vampire would have been his life. This was definitely strange and out of the ordinary, but so was she. 
“And if I did?” He dared ask, hardly believing that the words came out of his mouth. He almost felt like he’d been hypnotized again, but a quick mental scan came up with no magic. He was acting utterly on his own impulses. 
“Then I will destroy you,” she purred. “Utterly, wholly. But you will enjoy every moment of it.” 
Why did that make him more excited? Why was he letting this happen? Why did he want it so badly? Why-
No. No more thinking.
“Destroy me,” he whispered, giving her full permission to continue. 
She smiled then, her fangs gleaming, and she rolled her hips once, drawing a strangled groan from him. With the same dizzying speed she’d used earlier, she had both of his hands pinned behind his back and had pressed her mouth against his.
The kiss was rough and unforgiving, and she won the battle for dominance before it had even begun, using her tongue to explore every inch of his mouth. He gasped as her fangs sank into his lower lip, drawing blood that she quickly lapped away. She proceeded to kiss down his neck and to his collarbone, nipping and sucking and making a mess out of him while he strained against her hold to be able to feel her. 
She let him break her hold and he fisted his hands in her hair, yanking her head back and flipping them so he could return the favor, ruining the porcelain of her skin with hickeys. She hummed in appreciation, but he wanted to hear a different sound. He wanted to hear her lose control, to hear what she sounded like on the brink of absolute bliss. 
That became his one sole goal in their encounter, to coax all manner of sounds from her as she did him. 
He succeeded.
- - - - - -
When Felix woke up with the sun the following morning, he was curled up on the ground beneath the tree that had seen way too much, naked as the day he was born. His body ached in the best of ways from the unbelievable stamina that vampires had, as well as the bite marks and bruises that littered his body. He didn’t remember receiving them so much as the little shocks of pleasure that he’d gotten and he shivered as he remembered the feeling. 
He could feel her body against his back, the lack of breath a little eerie, but not unpleasant. He had no idea what he was going to tell his fellow vampire hunters, but at the moment, he didn’t care. He was more sated than he had ever been, deliciously sore and generally fairly content. 
Without warning, he was flipped onto his back, the vampire holding herself over him with a gleam in her eyes. 
“Again?” She asked, getting his permission like she had the day before. 
“Again,” he confirmed, pulling her head down towards his for a kiss. 
Again and again.
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w-i-m-p · 1 year
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Zero Point Five
My sweet boy.
It has been half a year, 182 days, since I last pet you. Since we were whole. We have been having such a rough go of it. We miss you so much. Our lives are progressing and we are so heartbroken that we couldn’t have you here with us. You deserved to be here. You’ve seen us through so many stages. You’ve seen ME through so many stages… from the middle school kid that dug holes and made makeshift spears, to the high school kid who finally met the love of his life, the college kid who was aimless, to the grad student starting out life, the resident trying his damndest, and now the married man with a house.
If only you could have been born two years later than you were. Would we have met? I would have been a better furparent to you… would you still have been the same pup brother?
You left us because you needed to. There’s nothing any of us could have done to save you. To keep you here. And if we did it would have been torture for all of us. Mama and I were still reminiscing about the last few months with you. How we wished for uneventful days. How hard it must have been for you to be forcefed and forcewatered. I hope you don’t hold that against us… we just weren’t ready to let you go… I hope you agreed with the timing… I’m sorry we held on for so long.
But you know, praise God that it wasn’t a tragic accident. Praise God we could let you go on all of our own terms. Praise God we could give you a peaceful passing. When the vet gave you that last injection… you went so fast. I’m sure you were over being in such pain. I’m sorry my sweet boy.
I want you to know that we love you. That we are so proud of the dog you are. All of the other dogs don’t hold a candle to how you were. Such a great boy. Simply the best. I want you to know that you are the goodest of boys. So calm. Not naughty. Barked ONLY when danger was near. Selimutin yourself. Sleep until noon. Never potties inside. Even when you were sick and not yourself, you did so well. You were such a good boy. I hope you know we love you and always will. That we think about you everyday and sometimes more than we should. I hope you are happy with how we took care of you and how we handled everything. I tried my best, we all did.
I love you my sweet boy.
P.s. please don’t be sad that we are moving… we chose a house that looks just like the old one. Hopefully when you see, you’ll be able to navigate it pretty well.
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soothinglee · 5 months
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coffee shop breakdowns──★ ˙☕️ ̟ ¡!
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| choi beomgyu x fem! reader ─ 2.69k wc✔︎
my notes⎯ i've always wanted to write something coffee shop au and at first i was going to write for yujin of zb1 but change of plans lol ! (ill still write for yujin in the future though !) I hope you enjoy, i tried to make it funny( 〃..). (i know the ending is abrupt, it's 1 am and im exhausted and i really want to publish this). warnings⎯ swearing (mainly f bombs), mentions of exhaustion and overworking (?), and taehyun has a brief appearance. songs⎯ 사랑으로; wave to earth
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THE COFFEE SHOP was always busy between 9 to noon, when the college students came in for a fix of caffeinated shots after staying up late cramming in assignments, or partying.
The line of people continued to grow until it reached the door, making it hard for newcomers to come in. Some opted to hop back into their cars and into the deserted drive-through. With each order came more glassware, covered in sticky toppings and cookie crumbs. Unfortunately for you, you always seemed to get scheduled on busy days. Even more unfortunate, the glorified task of dish duty was assigned under your name at the start of your 8-hour shift.  
You reach up to nudge the tight knot on your apron's neck.
If exhaustion doesn’t kill you by the end of the night, the choker on your neck should do the trick.
After putting another load into the dishwasher, which was on its last leg due to its slight malfunction when you got a spoon stuck in the disposal, you bend over the sink. There was a slight twitch in your eye out of the sheer annoyance that yet another person went on their break when you had yet to get your own.
The screaming baby in dining is not helping the raging headache pounding in your temple.
“Will someone shut that thing up?” a grunt rises from your throat as you go to stand, wincing when your back cracks loudly.
In the corner of your eye, you see a hand place another dish in the black tub, and a laugh follows. “That's not a nice way to talk about a paying customer.”
You don’t even have to turn around to know who it is.
“If you think a baby works a 9-5 job, with enough money to afford a cup of coffee in this economy, you have another thing coming for you.” The rebuttal comes easy from your lips, months of practice and debates working in your favor with fast responses. 
“I mean if they really put their mind to it, babies could take over the world.” The response is quick and witty, an unconscious choice of words followed by a playful hip bump that makes you keel over and onto the wall. Your knees were so close to giving in after standing all day. The thought of sitting on the floor, though covered in unidentifiable grit, seems like heaven for the joints. “Long day?”
A scoff leaves your lips as your head connects to the wall. A way of saying you have no idea. The weight of your eyelids grow heavier with every passing second. No matter how many times you try to keep them open, it’s to no avail.
You look like a toddler fighting sleep.
The question passes through one ear and out the other. Your co-worker waits for another second (perhaps for a response) then giggles when there is none. Though you can’t see him, you can vaguely imagine what he’s doing with all of the commotion going around the cramped space. There’s a slosh coming from the three-compartment sink, a rag hitting the dishes hurriedly, and then the dishwasher handle being pulled up paired with a strenuous huff. 
“Holy fuck this thing is heavy,” is mumbled quietly as more thumping continues. Something in the more conscious part of you can't figure out if the room is spinning beneath the dark in your eyes or the headache that spreads itself to the base of your skull. 
Where's Tylenol when you need it?
“Beomgyu,” The name comes out weak- a thick coat of fatigue blankets your throat. You clear it a couple of times before trying again. “You don’t have to do it for me.”
Please, please, please do it for me.
He stops pouring out the unused coffee grains to look down and give you a judgmental once over. His eyes flit to your frizzy wannabe ponytail that has one too many flyways, to the apron string on your shoulder that was one fast head turn to the man upstairs, and then to your jeans, that were covered ankles up in milk and chocolate sauce?
Beomgyu hopes that it's chocolate sauce.
With the way he looks at you, a fire lights your cheeks ablaze and you have to turn your head away from him. It feels like you're on RuPaul's Drag Race getting judged on the dress you made but it looks like a ten-can special and a bottle of mid-life crisis. The embarrassment wants to conceal itself with a “Bitch you don’t look better!” retort, but your mouth is glued shut.
“With the way you’re slouched over, I don’t think I have a choice.” He sighs almost pitifully, who knows for you or himself. Even though he was the one who willingly started doing your tasks for you. After a second the tap stops, and then some shuffles of footsteps. They become louder until it stops. “Get up, you look pathetic.”
Get up?
Without realizing it, at some point your body went dumb and slid itself onto the floor. It was a relief to be off your feet and to let your body rest but at the same time...you can’t remember the last time these floors said hello to a mop and pine-sol. Oh boy. Good thing today is wash day.
“Can’t.” 
Beomgyu raises an eyebrow and lets out an agitated breath. “The hell you can.”
“Can’t.” You repeat, throwing in a piteous whine, lifting up your arms so forcefully that he flinches back quickly. “Up.”
“(Name)…” The desperation in his voice is comical. He does not want to lift you like a child. “You are a grown woman, this is embarrassing for you.” He says it like multiple people are watching, a crowd to be sheepish around in your debilitation. You give him a look; eyebrows scrunched, lips upturned, and the worst case of stink eye. Your arms are still dangling limply in the air.
He hesitates for a second. 
And another.
 Then finally, he grabs you by the wrists, and for a second it feels like you’re flying. It seems as though he might have underestimated how much strength to put into the haul because after what feels like minutes in the air you go crashing into his arms.
“You need to take a shower.”
“And you need to change your clothes. Looks like you got shit on your pants.”
He maneuvers your arms first, throwing one of them over his shoulder while trying to keep you upright with his other hand. You were exhausted to the point where you couldn’t keep your eyes open, but not to the point where you couldn’t stand. You allowed yourself to fall limp to give him a hard time.
He struggles for a few seconds, panicking when you almost slip from his grasp. You can tell that he's nervous about holding you, the way his hands stutter trying to find a place to put them to hold you up. They move from your waist, to your side, to your stomach, finally finding its home in your belt loop. If that would’ve lasted any longer you would have just placed his hand wherever and told him to hurry the hell up.
“You don’t look any better,” you grab onto his left shoulder, holding the material in a tight grip because you do not trust Choi Beomgyu to keep you steady, “You got a little something…” there's a small smudge of coffee dust in the middle of his chest and you put your finger on it.
Beomgyu looks at you funny then at your finger, and after a moment a sly smirk plays on your lips.
What a dumbass.
With a slick flick of the finger you pop him in the nose. Effectively making him reel his head back in pain. “There.” 
 At his reaction you start to cackle loudly like a deranged person. You have to bend over to catch your breath, taking Beomgyu down with you. He tries to shimmy your hand off of his shoulder but you have an iron clasp, and after a moment he gives up seeing you aren't detaching yourself anytime soon. “Ow-! You bitch!”
There's an instant change of emotion. A sarcastic frown replaces the beaming smile. Beomgyu feels heat rising up his neck. For some reason, it’s not because he feels mad, but the way you're looking at him makes him feel…uncomfortable?
He’s unsure.
“That’s no way to talk to a lady.” You reply, allowing him to drag you like a rag doll to the break table. A small school desk hidden behind an enormous ice machine that admits heat hotter than the Sahara. 
“Nothing about you is considered ‘a lady’.”
“Girl fuck you.”
As you pass by the short hallway leading to the front a head peeks out of the main office. Tufts of black hair and wide eyes look around the corner towards Beomgyu (trying) holding you as you still cackle from the childish trick you pulled on him. The look on his face is indescribable, blank but definitely annoyed.
“Everything… okay out here?” Taehyun asks before he actually takes a good look at the two of you. After a second of staring he blinks, “Beomgyu, why are you holding (Name)?”
He points to you without looking and responds monotonously, “She’s going on her break now. Have Iseul take over for her in the meantime.” Taehyun nods and slithers back into the office without another word.
“Aww Beomgyu,” You coo, letting out a breath when he throws you into one of the two chairs, “You’re so sweet, you didn’t have to do this for me.” Your hand finds its way to his cheek, pinching the skin lightly like a grandma would a young child. Who knows why, but he allows it to happen a second longer, your face scrunched up affectionately as you mumble out praises.
He swats your hand away, rubbing at the reddened skin, “You’re right, I didn’t.” You frown again, “I’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart.”
“You have a heart?”
He doesn't say anything in response. His hand connects with your forehead, pushing it back with enough force that it sends you backward, leaning against the wall. There's a shout at the register that you can’t quite make out, but by the way, Beomgyu takes a glance at you and then back towards the cashier and then runs off, you can only imagine that it's regarding you and the lack of clean cups up front. Man forget those cups. Your entire body feels sluggish and your brain feels insanely heavy. A nap sounds so good right now but you're not even halfway through your shift and still have 5 hours left to complete.
Somewhere in the conscious part of your mind, you make a mental note to change your hours.
If you remember.
You don’t know how long it's been since Beomgyu left you but at some point you began to doze off. Roughly around NREM 1 and 2 a voice abruptly breaks the silence, “Whipped cream or no whipped cream?”
A snort leaves your mouth as you jolt up, startled. “What?”
“Whipped cream or no whipped cream?” He repeats back, irritation lacing his words as he taps his foot impatiently as if he has anywhere else to be.
“Um…” You respond after a moment, still not coherently present, “Whipped…cream…?”
Beomgyu nods his head once and disappears again.
He’s so fucking strange.
Your relationship with Beomgyu has always been a little weird. From the beginning when he first joined the team he was this nervous ball of energy, always messing up orders and occasionally spilling coffee on customers. You had, obviously, given him shit for it because it’s not that hard to mess up a latte. To your surprise that nervous energy made him a good fast talker because it took you two days to finally understand the insults he spat back. The next shift you two had together was not… pleasant, to say the least.
It was mainly a game of cat and mouse, you’d say something to aggravate him and he’d respond, and vice versa. It was fun, it kept you on your toes and gave you something to look forward to every time you had to work. Having a job at a coffee shop always keeps you moving and a lot more times than you’d like, it makes you extremely exhausted. Unfortunately, like today.
However, despite not being completely present- it made you realize that this was the first you’ve interacted so…civilly with Beomgyu. Sure, there were a few back-and-forth in the last forty-five minutes but still. You were mainly known as enemies so the fact that he didn’t ditch you to fend for yourself and did some of your work was surprising.
The feeling of perspiration on your fingers immediately wakes you up again. When you open your eyes you find Beomgyu back in front of you. Hands wrapped around a medium iced latte that was covered in a mountain of whipped cream. And funnily enough- chocolate sauce.
You choose not to say anything about how he didn't mess up this time.
“What's this?”
“What does it look like, dipshit? It’s coffee.”
You ignored the comment, “Okay yeah, duh, but why?”
Beomgyu rolls his eyes and pushes the plastic cup to your hands. You don’t pick it up, “Look at you,” he starts, his eyes downcast towards the pool of water collecting on the table, “You can barely keep your eyes open. You work at a coffee shop, I thought you’d be smarter than this.”
You still don't pick it up.
Instead, you narrow your eyes at him.
“You poisoned this shit, didn't you?”
“Excuse me?” he crosses his arms defensively, “Why would I want to poison you?
You shrug, reaching up to toy with the straw. It looks so good. “Why wouldn’t you?”
Beomgyu lets a long exhale and aggressively pulls out the second chair, quickly taking a seat. He wastes no time grabbing on the straw and bending it slightly so it curves at the top and vigorously brings it to you lips. You pursed them and turned your head away, “I don’t wanna.”
“Stop acting like a child for a second and please drink. I am not your babysitter.”
“You probably spat in it.”
“I didn’t- you know what?” He hastily brings the straw to his own lips and takes a brief sip. “Mmmm- Mmm! Yummy! So good and no spit, Mmmm!”
You eye the drink and then his lips for a second indecisively before grabbing onto his wrist and bringing the drink to you. “Give me this, you freak.”
A pleased smile plays on his lips as he watches you almost down the entire thing in one sip. He doesn’t comment on how you still hold onto his wrist when you're finished, or when you let out a satisfied sigh while staring at him…warmly?
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Why’d you make the drink?”
“Because you needed it…” he trails off but then adds, “And no one else can take the rest of your shift today so you need to wake up and do your job.” 
You continue staring at him and Beomgyu can see the wheels turning in your head, then a burst of energy makes you sit up straight, pointing accusing a finger in his face. It wavers in the air as your eyes go to slits, trying to sniff him out. He tries his best to seem unaffected. There's a beat, and then, “You like me, don’t you?”
“Excuse me?” He shouts a little too loudly and defensively for someone who doesn't like you like that. He really doesn’t-
“Helping me with my work, finding my stand-in, covering for me, making me a drink to feel better.” You list off on one hand, the other one still attached to his wrist. He tries to pry your fingers off but you’re stronger than a bull. He’s not going anywhere, “If you don't like me like that then it seems that at least you want to be my friend.”
-does he?
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[you want to go home..?]-> please like and reblog, it helps alot !ˎˊ˗
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takoichigo · 1 year
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I woke up at 8:30 PM today.
I didn't really sleep last night, caught a couple of hours between like 10 and noon, but I had to get up at noon and gather my laundry because a friend's mom volunteered to do it for me. I haven't really been able to do it myself in about a month.
I took a shower today too. I didn't get one before my appointment Monday because I overslept and I haven't otherwise left the house since last Thursday, which I think was the last time I showered. Don't get it twisted, I sit in the tub multiple times a day to relieve my pain that still isn't under control, but my hair...
...I have been losing it. A lot of it. Not all of it, and it doesn't hurt like I've heard it can with chemo. But colon cancer chemo isn't supposed to make all your hair fall out, it'll just "thin". It was already thin to begin with. I haven't looked in the mirror in a week, I'm kind of afraid I have bald spots. It's also much too long so I always just have it piled in a bun on my head (also to keep it out of the water when I'm in the tub).
I went off topic. Anyway. Showered. My laundry was picked up. Laid down and tried to watch some Red Dwarf. Made it through a couple episodes before I conked out. Slept from about 2:30 to 8:30. Woke up at 4, took my medicine, immediately fell back asleep. My bed has no sheets on it, I had to send the ones that were on it to be washed because my AC went out a few weeks ago and I've just sweated so much into them that they were stiff.
I'm not sure if I just was comfy because I'd showered and felt clean, or that I was not lying on a stiff sheet that smelled like B.O., or that only my daytime meds do enough for the pain that I can actually sleep, but I was out cold.
I guess I'm just nocturnal now. I hate this, I take meds at 11:00 PM to *help me sleep* and they fucking don't do anything in the face of the pain I'm in. I'm in the tub right now because the pain flared up and I couldn't lie there.
But I sent all my sheets and towels to be washed...which means I'm air drying when I get out I guess before I try to go back to bed. With no sheets on it. Not that I'm going to sleep. I'll sleep tomorrow during the day and be woken up by phone calls and texts and shit. Because y'know. Normal people hours. My laundry will be here in a few hours, she said she'd drop it off in the morning for me. I'm hoping I'm not asleep when she comes.
I can't do anything anymore. Especially at night, when the pain is the worst. So being nocturnal does nothing for me. Just being up out of bed is really tiring really fast.
But things are getting better I guess. The tumor has shrunk. The levels of the cancer indicator in my blood have gone way down (though they're still too high for a normal person). Blood count is too low, still, it's worse than it was before but I guess still not bad enough for a transfusion. No wonder I've been nearly passing out when I stand up.
I don't know what normal is anymore. I don't go out and do anything, I just...lie in bed. My car is still broken. I couldn't drive if I wanted to anyway... I'm way too weak and shaky, and sitting is almost always painful. Road bumps are god-awful. I've been playing Stardew Valley again because it feels like I'm accomplishing something. I've hit walls I don't want to deal with in almost every other game I have. Which sucks, but...why do I need to stress myself out over it?
My friends are really busy. I haven't seen much of them lately, and the one just always seems like I'm stressing him out when I do see him. The other one just got a new job and blanks out and freezes when I'm upset around him, which happens pretty often, because it's super easy to upset me. Usually just the pain will do it, but also, everything I'm going through is either terrifying or frustrating. I upset another friend the last time they visited, because they hadn't seen me so weak. Everyone keeps saying they're sorry I'm going through this. I hate hearing it. I don't want my friends to be sad or upset around me. I don't want to cause them to be stressed out. It's already so hard to ask for help as it is.
I don't really know why I'm writing this post. Honestly it just feels like I haven't talked to anyone in so long that's had enough time to listen. And probably no one will see this. Which is kind of okay. I feel like I'm just whining anyway.
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dzpenumbra · 2 years
Text
2/12/23
Today was really disappointing. I was going to say emotional, I typed it out and everything, but honestly, I've had much more emotional days than today this week. This was just... disappointing and hurtful and... full of things going wrong. Like a Murphey's Law kinda day.
I was up until about 2 because my upstairs neighbors were stomping around and talking really loud. Like... "if I paid attention I could likely have eavesdropped their entire conversation" loud. And that wasn't the end of the world, I got to bed at a decent-ish hour and got to sleep quickly. I had vivid dreams, but I don't remember them, maybe I'm overdue for dream journaling again? Hmm...
However... I was woken up at... 8 AM. By the same people. Again, stomping around and carrying on at full volume. On a Saturday morning. I tried to go back to sleep and failed. I made some cereal and went downstairs and passed out in the comfy chair for a bit.
Once I woke up rested, I started the day with some yoga. It was absolutely punishing. I was dripping sweat. I couldn't even do two of the poses because my hands and feet couldn't grip because they were too sweaty. It was really good in the end and I'm glad I did it, but man, that was super intense. I'm not sure if I like that kind of like.. really fast paced yoga. I dunno, it's the same thing but it just feels like... frantic, I guess.
Welp, once that was over I was just... starving. Even after my early breakfast and gigantic dinner last night. I got more food and sat on the floor, ate and watched the Subnautica playthrough. I wanted to stretch my hips out while eating, I think all this sitting in a chair all the time is really what fucked up my hips, neck and back. So I want to try sitting on the floor more. And it kept me from like... losing track of time sitting there and watching for 2 hours.
I hit the showers, then went straight to fill out my disclosure consent form so my new GP (who I have known a total of 15 minutes) can talk to my therapist about my potential ADHD screening. It took no time at all and I got it done. Then I went and finished writing an email to my old therapist to see if he would be willing to consult on all of this in some capacity, just to get as many good people on my bench as possible. Then, when I finally felt comfortable sending that, I looked at the clock and it was 4:30 PM. I was like... "shit, I better make sure I get to the health center before they close", so I checked their hours. They closed at noon. I was given this form on the 6th. And I had this whole plan how I was going to drop this form off and have a super productive day and then drop by any thrift shop or Goodwill or anything I could find and no matter what come home with a bookshelf or a worktable. And... everything just completely fell flat.
All of the places I wanted to go to were going to close at 5, or were closed already. Health Center won't be open again until monday. I was just... my motivation just crashed. And I blamed myself.
I got really upset with myself for somehow losing time, somehow letting the whole day get away from me. I couldn't place it. I had no idea where the time went, I was getting upset. But I was also really hungry still... I have no idea why I've been so damn hungry today. So I made ramen just to carry me to dinner, emergency shit food. And as I was nuking the ramen, my mom called.
After a little bullshit small-talk about like... problems in the workforce in my country right now, and the blatant disregard for quality of life and shit like that... eventually we got past all that... and I started to really explore for the first time where my time went today. And I do that just as authentically with others as I do with myself. I get very frustrated and very hurt and confused. I lament about how I don't know how I can improve if I don't know why this keeps happening, or even what is happening. I don't know how I can go from starting yoga at noon - yoga is 20 minutes, then eat food... probably 30 mins... then shower... 30 mins... then fill out a form that is literally two addresses and a signature... and then add a paragraph to an email and proofread it... and then POOF, it's fucking 4:30 PM. Like... do the math. 20+30+30+15? = 95 mins? Just over an hour and a half? So... am I supposed to believe that I was proofreading that email for 3 fucking hours? Am I supposed to believe I was only able to write one paragraph in that email in 3 hours, and I write this every night and it rarely takes me longer than an hour? Like... please, please tell me at least one other person would be freaked out by that.
The first time I started consciously noticing lost time like that, I assumed I was just blacking out and didn't notice it or something. I had zero proof of this because I lived alone, I just had no other explanation. And I told the Counseling Center in my town my theory, I trusted them with that, and... without any confirming stories or tests, they diagnosed me with epilepsy and put me on anticonvulsants and mood stabilizers.
So... this is a problem that goes pretty far back. And it affects my ability to function in society, as I'm sure one could imagine. And all I want is to just find out what is happening. Did I get distracted by something and I don't remember? Did I hyper-fixate on the email and proofread it over and over and over dozens of times, and it just felt like a couple times? Did I fall asleep sitting up and not notice or something? Like... I legit have no idea how that big of a span of time is just... gone. It freaked me out.
What's worse for today... not just that scenario happening... but talking about it with my mom... she just had no idea how I was reacting to it or why. No clue. She tried to offer to call doctors' offices for me and figure out forms and stuff, which is kind of course and... not really... the problem? Like not even the same ballpark as the problem? I tried so hard to communicate that, but like... she just wasn't getting it. And I just kept repeating over and over how overwhelmed I was by the concept and how I just wanted to know what happened, and "isn't it weird?", and shit like that. And she seemed like she was just standing there like "which bag do you want me to carry in from the car?", not like... actually genuinely concerned about this problem and wanting to investigate it.
Not to mention... after like an hour of that, the impostor syndrome starts kicking in, convincing me that I have no real proof that I'm not subconsciously faking this entire thing. And I'm pestering all these doctors and shit to give me meds that I don't even really want to take for a condition I haven't been diagnosed with since George W. Bush was in office. --- some college kids were running in the hallway outside my apartment being really loud, it's 2:15 AM. I started grumbling and muttering. Oh god, I don't need to be that guy, they're just having fun, it's a weekend! I said to myself, "those are the people posting on the local subreddit," and it made me chuckle, because it's most likely true. A lot of college kids around here.
So yeah, my freaking out led to my mom doing what she calls "trying to fix it", and then fighting with me when I tell her that her solution doesn't even address my problem. After at least 2 hours of that confusion and frustration, we came back around and she helped me explore my theories. I'm just trying to figure out what this underlying thing is underneath my depression, trauma and anxiety. My... emotional overwhelm. The thing that makes me look at tasks around the house and go "that's way too big". Like... okay. PTSD/trauma stuff is... associative, it's trigger-based. I used the skate park in an example with my mom, so I'll use that here, probably not for the first time. So I've thought long and hard about it and I do not have any trauma associated with the skatepark. Anxiety? It's honestly easier when I'm in-the-field. I've said for a while, my anxiety is mostly about the anticipation, the build-up. I can just hit "Go Live" on OBS and I'll be fine after the first 30 seconds. I can handle being in a conflict with a good friend and stay calm. I can handle being lost in the woods when it's getting dark in the winter on a trail I've never been on before, while my therapist I'm with is freaking out about getting stranded. And those aren't just puffing out my chest and bragging, that's legitimate confidence in my ability to handle those situations, and well-founded too. Those are skills I do actually have. And Depression? Depression saps my confidence battery. My motivation and my confidence. Depression is a shitty voice in my head that I'm pretty sure is a driving force behind the impostor syndrome stuff... that kind of effect. But what is getting me... is like... the scope.
This was what I was having a hard time articulating. The scope of these emotions. Some days the exact same issue - going to the skatepark - is like... "well duh, sure I'll go." And some days it's "that would take moving mountains, and the payoff is peanuts." That's what I kept saying, huge investment, little payoff. And what I've been suspecting is that the emotional overwhelm component... the scope of the emotional impact... and how the emotional overwhelm can completely incapacitate me... that feeds the others.
Even now, I feel like I'm full of shit. I feel like I'm looking for a fucking ghost. I feel like I just have PTSD, anxiety and depression mixing together and that's just what it feels like for me, and that's just that. That I struggle to go to the skatepark because of low self-esteem, because I'm anxious people will judge me or something. But like... I'm not. Like... I would say that here if I was, honest. I really don't give that much of a shit, it doesn't register so high on my radar that I'm going to straight up not skate at all, or avoid the skatepark. It just feels like a titanic undertaking to do this task, and it feels like the payoff better be worth the investment. And the investment looks huge and the payoff looks small. So... why is the investment huge? Why is it this whole big thing to go to the skatepark?
It's been years and I still don't have a clear answer for that. And people just treat me like I'm being defiant, like I'm being difficult and deliberately making my life harder. It's an emotional thing. It feels difficult. It feels complex. Like doing the dishes.
Oh my god, I've figured this out before. I've heard people talking about this. Wow, this is a cool moment. So... a thing that happens sometimes... often, I should say... is that once I get started on the dishes or cleaning the bathroom sink or something? I just... I mean, while I'm up... I'll just clean the countertop too... I'll just wipe down the mirror... and then one thing can turn very quickly into laying on my belly on the floor scrubbing dirt out of the grout around the bathtub for an hour. Am I trying to like... be careful about that? To make sure I have a detailed plan or someone around to make sure that I don't get lost or distracted in something? Or am I just used to small things getting inflated into things much much bigger? I don't know, I felt a connection to that.
Agh.
This is what I'm saying, like... I'm too biased to be able to judge this. Yet... I live alone, and have for a very long time, so I have zero perspective to confirm or deny any of my theories. Like... I've come to embrace that I will never have a normal life, but like... I need to figure out some of these things so I can have a more functional life. If I set aside 4 hours to proofread an email... just in case, because "remember what happened last time, and no one will check in to like... snap you out of it"... I'm just going to have to dedicate half a damn day to... sending one email. That's a problem.
It came back up today, my mom thought I was kidding... or like... being melodramatic or something... but I said it 100% serious. If I was smoking cigarettes still I would likely not have this problem. I had myself trained to get up and go outside every... 2 hours or so? Even if I didn't want to smoke, I would drop whatever I was doing and go take a smoke break. If I was still smoking, the email situation would not have happened. And the stimulants in them would likely be helping me focus my thoughts more, as well. I was bummed to come to that conclusion. That, currently, it would be significantly better for my mental health to take up smoking again after over a year off of them (after 18 years of smoking) than for me to be pursuing ADHD meds prescribed from a doctor. Something is not right with that.
I don't want to talk about this anymore, it's stressing me out. I don't have answers here and I'm just tired.
Later in the conversation, we had another... episode. She went off on me. Over something really stupid. I was upset the post office was charging me to forward my mail. I was venting. I felt like the post office kinda has a monopoly on physical mail, and i thought it was a government service? But apparently it's just a private service, despite everyone being required to have a physical mailing address for like... literally anything - a job, an ID, proof of residence, etc. Like, to be a legal citizen you need to have a mailing address... but that mailing address is owned by a private company that has no competition. I don't know, it was weird to me. And fuck me for asking questions on that, because I got laid out for it. And I don't want to get into that, of course. It's not my problem to discuss, I was just on the other side of it.
But what I will mention is that I did a good job of saying very outright when the conflict went way too far, and expressed that I would have to leave if things continued that way. Boundaries, I set really firm boundaries today. And they were kinda... not taken seriously at first, but after a bit it seemed to register. So that was good. And she did regain control of her self after a bit, which is very good progress, and we discussed options on how to reflect on that and address it.
So... not all shit today... just... everything went wrong.
So I made fried rice from scratch after. And my canned peas that I left open in the fridge were off... and I said fuck it and washed them and put them in anyway because they really make the meal. So... hopefully that wasn't Murphey's Law too.
I am completely emotionally drained, and I'm actually having trouble keeping my eyes open. Bed is screaming my name.
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sweetcafa · 2 years
Text
I love you.
Nova x reader fic
Btw nova uses both male and female pronouns in this fic
Warnings:none
Nova⤵️
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Nova and you where close.
Like really close, you never knew how you guys became such good friends. I mean it was like yesterday when you where helping the nurse with students when a clumsy pink haired girl walked in. They looked tired and had bruises on every inch of there leg.
You couldn't just stand there. Besides they seem so kind and sweet when you placed them on one of the beds in the nurses office. While cleaning and checking there legs they keep saying they where sorry. Telling you the story of tripping on the staircases while holding some boxes. When questing them further you found out they where the leader of the occult club. Your face became pale as a shiver went down your spine. You had heard rumors of this supposed "occult club". How they where all weirdos worshiping the devil and drinking goats blood.
Tho nova seem like the complete oboist of what you imagine those people looked like. Your mind wonder and asked mostly questions about her club.
She only told you some things before you batched up his bruised legs. Sending them off to there class as time had pass fast to you. Once nova left saying there goodbyes you felt a breath of air leave you. Like you where struggling to breath with them just the presence of him. Soon you began noticing nova at random times of the school.
At lunch they sit at the garden site right next to the school. Having small talk with many of the garden club members. And even helping out with weeds and planting. You notice how when the school gates where closed he stood under one of the trees in front of the school yard. The way the sun hit his face made you somewhat feel red. As if you yourself was feeling extremely overwhelmed .
Tho one day it all felt strange. There where whispers in the halls. And every turn you took was as if you where stepping into the most scariest place on earth. But why?! What in all days made this one so much more worse. Everyone seemed so infected with this aura. Students,teachers alike seemed drained and made half of the day feel like time was no longer moving. But that's when you noticed nova. They seem liked themselves. There face smiling even when others coward and feared just when they turned there head. Even the many students and teachers who know nova well didn't bother to stop this strange feeling that followed nova everywhere. Tho that's when your last class came when a student came over. There face was sweating and fearful. Like if they where being watched.
They had given you a note? What for? The note was in a simple envelope with a heart shaped sticker on top of the fold. Once they left You decided it was best to read it after everyone left. You don't want that much attention, once everyone left You ripped the note carefully reading it in your head.
"Dearest y/n"
I have been wishing to speck to you for a while. I have been seeing you more and more, I simply can't ignore your presents now. Please speck to me on the top of the roof E-wing behide the generator.
I will wait till the end of the day to see you. Your dearest hun"
-Love"
Your face went from confused to red to even more confused. You knew that just reading this it was of a secret admirer. Your wondered if it was the woman who gave you the note. Maybe they where worried or something when giving it to you? Who knows but you knew that maybe it was best to meet this person. You thought about it before packing your stuff and walking out of class.
You took slight deep breaths before going up to the first flight of stairs up to the roof.
*a few minutes later*
Once upon opening the roof doors you felt a slight breeze. The wether was cold while the bright sun was still very upon noon. You walked over to the E-side of the roof, once being close to the generator you heard the sound of shoes clicking. As if someone was anxious. You slightly walked closer seeing nova. Her face showed only discomfort and the sudden light blush only made you want to turn back. Nova was gonna confess to you?! But why,for once you knew how this would end.
You might need to reject her.
You liked nova, but you two had barely talked, a slight wave or glance was all you guys did. And to be honest you didn't know much about nova to began with. You heard rumors but you can't take those as fact. It was to late your already stood there too long. Nova finally saw you, a slight squeak came out bringing you back to attention. Her face was frozen and she might of wanted you to lean into a conversation.
"Nova? Umm-you wanted to speck with me?" You said raising the letter in hand. "Yes! Dear-I mean y/n. I wanted to tell you this but..I dint know when it was appropriate to speck on this matter." Her face slight shifted and if she was preparing himself. The quite and golden sight around you two was of many you seen in books,romance movies and even in the many short love story's you read on sometimes. She looked back at you before walking somewhat closer.
"..Y/n I was wondering if you wish to
.
.
.
Be my friend?" Nova looked back at you her face red as her ears poked out her fluffy pink hair.they looked red. But that only confused you more. Nova was confessing to be your friend. You wanted to say something but nova began to speck soon after the silence. " I know it seems strange. But ever since we meet I didn’t have the change to speck to you after we meet at the nurses office. The way you where kind and never shown me any rudeness or hostile anger to me made me feel safe in a way. I want to keep feeling that comfort and safety with you dear!" Nova faced you before bowing and placing both arms at the side.
" Y/n! Would you do me the honer and letting me hang out with you! As a friend and as a person!"
You froze once more.
Your tone turn soft as a small giggle came from your lips. Nova keep her head down coming back to a sanding position, and once you stoped you walk over to him."nova you didn’t need to be this former..besides I would love to hang out with you more." You didn't have time before nova looked straight at you. His face looking as if a kid was given a cake on there birthday ready to blow out the candles."Oh dear you mean that!" She smiled her hands back to her front. "Of course! Why would I not want to be with you?" It only took sometime but that ended with both you and nova walking out of school. Both of you carrying each there own book bad talking and smiling.
Once she left,seeing her walked up to her apartment waving bye every step you couldn't help but smile. Your foot stoped hitting your parents porch before walking in. Laying your stuff you can't think of a better person to walk home after school with. Eating with your family and finishing any work you rested back to bed. The dark room only giving silence. You thought if nova was going to meet you at the front gate smiling as happy as he was later that day. You knew you would love to wake up much earlier then before.
With a slow turn and closing your eyes. You felt your face red as a you smiled at the thought of what you be able to do with your new
Dear
Friend
Nova💚
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Shout out to my bbgs. You all know who y'all are >:). Cause. Might make more. Or even other fandom x y/n. The old "I guess I will just do it myself move 👹" anyway thanks to any homies reading till the end. </3
Word count:1395
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