#but tumblr crashed and it died so you get this

[staarboyyy]

Necessary evils | Negotiations chapter ii

Ben [ Soldier boy ] x reader | no pronouns

explicit - minors dni

tags / warnings ; dubcon, reader has vagina, intoxication, weed use, cocaine mentions, slight angst, porn with a plot, destructive mutualization, lap sitting, pleasure denial, grinding ("the knee thing"), slight underwear fetish, m!masturbation, couch sex, free use elements, creampie, verbal threats, reader takes initiative (aka fucks around and finds out, with feelings!), is soldier boy a warning? if so, soldier boy antics!,

summary ; after the night in the alley, you cant help but wonder caused it all.

word count ; 5.3k

a/n ; [ Reposted with a full ending and edits ! Thank you for the support, even on accidental posts :"D] can be a stand-alone fic, but really meant to be a chapter 2 for my first fic on tumblr, Negotiations <3 thank you all for 200 followers, ill never be able to express the gratitude in my heart that has flourished in this community!! heres to writing format improvement, cheers! *tink!

Ben grunted as he pushed himself from the creaky motel couch, sighing quietly while his eyes scanned the room silently - As he landed on a small shoe box pushed underneath a desk, he bent at the waist to grab ahold of it, sliding it out with a hum. Upon flipping open the lip in time with sitting back down on the couch, made way for the harsh and bitter smell of weed and tobacco. His large hands sifted through the different items, plucking a glass pipe and grinder from the box and setting it next to him. The motions of this gave way for a strange familiarity, the smell, and movements of packing the bowl reminding him of hiding weed from his father decades ago. He was always insistent a boy like him should be 'straight-edge', clean, and practically from marble. He gave a quiet chuckle as he brought the pipe to his lips, glancing up at the ceiling. Before down towards the floor. No way in God's green earth had his father made it into Heaven. He gave a light stomp as he flicked the lighter over the bowl - It was muscle memory, though since his father died he made it a point that he'd never rest, not even after death. With a gracious inhale, Ben's lungs filled with smoke, pulling down the thickening barriers of his throat, mind reeling black and white grainy family photos. It made him sick to dwell on his family. Though the exhale cut sharp through his lips, throat stiffening at the burn that sliced that part away from him. He went in for another, heel coming down once more to thump against the floorboards, a smirk now pulling at the corners of his lips. Smoke filled the apartment, not unusual for this time of night, even as it made its way into your sleeping nostrils.

Working with Hughie and Butcher was not your intent. You told yourself this, as you watched the two men unfold into animals, lacing their arms with bands and injecting temp v at any opportune moment. It made it difficult to sleep, knowing the two were out at night, rampaging the streets in hopes of finding Soldier Boy's past team; And also the tense presence of Ben sitting on the couch, just a foot or two away. You stirred at the strong smell, shifting slightly as you adjust yourself on the worn-in couch, propping your elbow up on the armrest with a soft grimace. It wasn't comfortable by any means, but the exhaustion of the day had hit you like a freight train.

"How long was I out?"

"An hour or two. You fuckin' crashed, figured you'd need it."

Nights such as these came with a sense of peace; Like a lion and crane feeding at a watering hole, side by side with eyes unwavering as you do what they must to get by. The peace was faint, gritty between Ben's fingers as he packed a bowl down gently, shifting his jaw. He brought the lighter up to the pipe once again before his eyes set on you- The bowl sizzled as he inhaled, smoke drifting from his nostrils as he effortlessly pulled from the pipe, puffing it as if it were a cigar. His next motion came at a strange interception of his mind and body, hand moving to offer the lit pipe towards you. He gave no words, though it seemed he wouldn't have been able to conduct them into genuine conversation nonetheless.

Typically, you'd shake your head, or wave your hand, leaving the Supe to his devices - Though, the crickets shrouded the night air, pulsating through the thin windows and swelling at the shine of the moon, thick clouds parting like curtains to expose the soft light. This wasn't a night typical for you. You reached out, pursing your lips slightly as his rough skin grazed yours, his thumb lingering on your smaller fingers for a few moments. You tentatively brought the pipe to your lips, eyes casting over the man; He looked painfully human like this, relaxing back into the couch, spreading his thighs with a grunt as he looked back toward you quizzically. You pulled from the pipe, thumb pressing against the small hole, releasing as the bowl crackled a hot orange. The smoke cut down your throat in a harsh wave, coasting over your muscles with a hitched breath as your grip on the pipe tightened slightly, tears wetting the corners of your lashes at the fire lit in your lungs and throat. The smoke escaped you in small puffs, between coughs, dishing in the occasional sip of water from a crinkled 'room service' water bottle. It seemed to entertain Ben strangely, watching you quietly as you recovered from the harsh breath of smoke with an extended hand to take the glass piece back from you. The thick veil of smoke in the air twisted in ribbons as you spoke.

"Remember when you talked about our deal? What made you," You trailed off, recalling the night with a creeping burn ringing in your ears, the feeling of his hands seared into your mind.

"Mhm." Ben didn't miss a beat replying in a deep hum, his eyes now settled closed as he relaxed back into the couch with a sigh. "I don't know. "

He knew the question was coming, though with the anticipation came no rousing answer; In truth, he didn't know. He hadn't been drawn to you before that night, and now finding his pulse speeding due to just being in close proximity of you was... A shift. That was for sure. Ben shifted his jaw slightly, head leaning off to the side a bit. Sex was materialistic, something traded, an exchange - Kissing though. It made Ben's fingers clench into slight fists beside himself, pulling in a slow inhale as his mind returned back to the alley. Your lips against his. The thrum of Ben's heart began to pulse in his temples, rushing down his abdomen as he recalled the feeling of it all. His eyes opened, shifting his weight and keeping his gaze pinned to the space in front of him.  "You think I'm a bad guy?"

"...Yes." You weren't sure what he wanted to hear in that moment, his blue eyes fixated on the spot in front of him as your attention fell from his expression to his hands. How they fisted the spaces in the couch beside himself; Yet the geiger counter Hughie left behind remained still. Not rage, not frustration, or a slew of memories. You couldn't place what was eating away at him, not exactly. Though as you confessed yourself, in a single word - The first thing to come from Ben was a chuckle. His fists uncurled, clearing his throat as his eyes moved over the room with a shake of his head. The answer didn't seem to satisfy him - He didn't know your scale of what was and what was not bad, no way to place where he was in your mind, let alone on a metaphorical scale of morality. He brought a hand to his face, palm, and fingers rubbing at his stubble before looking over toward you. His expression was unreadable, not necessarily negative, the lingering breathy chuckle leaving behind the remains of a smirk. Ben wet his lips, parting them for a moment.

"You scared'a me then?" Ben breathed the question, his tone far different from the one he asked a few moments ago. It was a hardened thought as if he'd already concluded the answer before he even asked - Though he wanted to see it. That moment where the searching in your eyes falls to a fearful pricked gaze, goosebumps on your skin as Ben's question truly dawned on you, the man tilting his head slightly, brows still furrowed. He knew that you were scared, but his face read he had no inkling of such a thing; A truly evil man, is one who can be good when he chooses to be.

"Do you want me to be?"

It was a good answer, one that left Ben in yet another warranted corner, grappling with his rather intrusive blood flow. With another shift of his weight, he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, inhaling sharply through his nostrils. The dust of cocaine surely didn't go unnoticed, Ben wiping the remainder of it from his upper lip with his thumb, and rubbing it over his tongue. He wouldn't let any go to waste, especially considering Butcher would be now... less inclined to support his rather persistent habit. It showed though; That widened gaze, pupils dilating and lips parting just enough to make way for slow breaths - The smell of whiskey and tobacco. He was always high, smoking even more than Frenchie, but there was a strange tension when he cut lines on the coffee table in front of everyone. It was a different level, the elated silver of his blue eyes pinning people to the spot, unwavering, unblinking. Terrifying, And yet there you sat.

"I think you're already past that. The whole scared thing. I mean shit, you're damn well traumatized."

"I'm stronger than you realize, you know?"

"I could pin you with one hand and take you over my knee with the other." Your throat dried, his gaze inspecting your reaction with a tentative inhale, breathing out a hum as he reached for the pipe still white-knuckled in your hand. He wasn't wrong - He had proved that, yet your stomach twisted into a tight knot at his little hesitation to make it crystal clear. His index and middle finger curled inwards twice, gesturing to the pipe with his eyes still searing into yours. You handed it over with a quiet sigh, eyes breaking away from his before he could dig himself deeper into your mind. You weren't sure how he did it, explored the darkest pits of your mind and clutching them with a forceful intimacy. You recalled the kiss, intermingled with hitched gasps and pleads for mercy, as your hand grazed his. It was warm, his ravenous hands working in stark contrast to the sudden plush in his voice and groans. It was nearly human. Ben paused for a tense moment, eyeing the pipe and parting his lips as the warmth of your skin rested against the callous of his own. You chewed your lip, sneaking a glance at the man who now visibly gathered his thoughts, tensing his jaw as he surrendered the words away, pursing his lips to punctuate his silence.

Sometimes you still wonder what he was going to say. Before he pulled his hand back from yours, before clearing his throat as he caught your stolen glimpse. He set the pipe down onto the small table, watching the bowl fizzle out with you, the black layer slowly crumbling to a dull white ash.

"I was going to ask why you kissed me,"

"I know." You tensed, half expecting him to be far past dozed off during the rolling periods of silence between you. Your eyes moved from the long put-out bowl to look in his direction, though he was already looking at you. The weight of his gaze fell onto your shoulders, beading down your body in slow waves. Ben wet his lips, pursing them once again; And you knew that was all you were going to get. It was nearly impossible to pry him from his mind when he sunk back, his eyes distant for a bleary second, before being blinked away, darting around for the closest vice to pull him back.

But there you were. His vice. The drug no material high could compete with, your soft lips shaping into words he could hardly conceptualize past the thick veil of his rushing pulse. He wanted to constrict himself, for the sake of himself, clench his damn fists and look away from your lips. He swallowed, jaw tight as you leaned closer to him in an inaudible allure, tying the both of you to a painful high. You could feel his breath, hot against yours as he inhaled slowly, his hands unlocking themselves from the couch to reach toward you.

     As Ben's large hands moved, he inhaled deeply, his eyes never leaving your lips. The warmth of his skin against yours sent an electric shiver down your spine, and you found yourself leaning your body closer to him. He swallowed hard, his adam's apple bobbing in his throat and conflict in his eyes, the battle between his selfish desire and his self-control. But as he allowed you to press your weight against his own, his lips brushing against yours, you knew that he had lost the war. 

     Bens's lips moved against yours, slow, painstakingly hesitant as if you were made from glass. His hands moved to your waist, pulling your body closer to him as he deepened the kiss. You could taste the weed on his tongue, mixing with bitter liquor, the soft scratch of his stubble rubbing against your skin. You moaned softly against his mouth, your hands moving to his chest, clutching tightly at the collar of his sweatshirt, still dotted with water from his hair. He groaned, the sound deep, and pulled from his chest, a breath of surprise passing his nostrils as you pulled yourself impossibly closer to him. Your legs rested beside his, straddling his lap as your fingers moved to his cold wet hair, tangling themselves through the soaked strands. His tongue traced your bottom lip, his mouth practically watering as you began to grind yourself down against his stiffening cock. A familiar pulse strung itself in your desperate movements, an instinctive dance you couldn't help but lose yourself in, your heart thrumming in your chest, heartbeat quickening in your ears. You took in a ragged breath, lips still pressed messily to his as his hands gripped your hips with a pleading grunt.

"What're you doin' to me, huh baby?" Ben whispered against your glossy lips, his eyes still closed, forehead gently resting against yours. You wish you could answer feasibly, and bring your swelling need to words, but the feeling of being against him was intoxicating. His grasp was like steel, unwavering, fingers moving in practiced gropes, invasively pulling your thighs further apart with little effort on his end. Your struggles, the moments your thighs hitch together or your back arches an inch out of place, were hardly anything to him. His hands molded you in forceful need, the heat of your skin and the sound of your breathing; He wanted it all, all of your weight against his statuesque body, the feeling of the gathering heat between your thighs grinding against his cock. 

"Deals a deal," You reminded the Supe with gritted teeth, pulling on the hair at the nape of his neck. Though it did nothing, hardly feeling like a tug, he tilted his chin up, relaxing his shoulders into the couch. Your heart thundered in your chest - You felt like a mouse balancing on the paw of a lion waiting to strike, as you pestered and teased him. He clawed into your hips, palming your ass with a shudder as you lowered your head to his jaw. Your lips traced his stubble, humming softly as you reached his neck, grinding your hips down against him.

"Oh, is that what this is?" Ben spoke in a shallow rumble. "I should'a known better." You felt yourself lift from his lap, his hands bringing you into the air with ease to lay your back on the couch, grunting softly as he pinned your hands beside your head, positioning himself above you. Your breath swam shallow in your chest, swirling from your lips in a mix of moans and echoed pleas. For just a split second, the crushing heat of fear cut through your arousal in a searing slash, your thighs quivering, instinctually going to snap together. Ben's knee caught the space between your legs before you could deny him further, his pressing need to predict your movements drawing a whimper from your throat. He was like stone, no matter how your thighs wriggled, it all resulted in your clit pressing snug against his knee. You could feel your cheeks burning, rushing with the same heat that pulsed itself in your aching cunt. Ben watched your expression shift, releasing your wrists slowly as he pressed his knee experimentally against your heat. You let out a pitiful mewl, watching him slowly reach one of his hands down to grope his clothed length, the veins in his arms bulging as he dipped his fingers past his waistband with a sharp exhale.

     The noises you made stirred something in him, his cock twitching with each strained breath that caught your throat. Ben tugged the waistband of his sweatpants down, wetting his lips with a strained grunt as he freed his aching length. You shuddered, feeling his gaze on your face as you watched him wrap his hand over his thick shaft, moving in time with a slow grind against your pussy. Precum pearled at the tip, his thumb rubbing over his slit with a sharp exhale as he gazed at you hungrily.

You'd never forget those eyes, obscured by the drape of his dripping hair as he stroked himself to the image of you before him. Sweat beaded on his temple, brows arching as your back did, letting out a soft grunt as his eyes clung to your features. Ben's other hand released your wrist; He knew well enough he didn't have to restrain you to get what he wanted. His fingers traveled over your arm, rough palm rubbing against your burning cheek, before hitching his grip to the waistband of your thin shorts. His thick fingertips pushed past the fabric with an eased grunt, stretching the elastic band down to expose your underwear. Ben's jaw tensed before his lips fell open to take in a gritted gasp, gripping his cock as it pulsed at the mere sight of you. Your thighs swell over the edges of your underwear, the pearls of sweat pooling in the curves of your features. The air was thick with your hot breathing, eyes pinned on his cock, and how you affected him with each piece of clothing peeled back. Though by the time you had shed your shorts, his patience had worn thin, standing to his feet to properly rid of his sweatpants; Your breath caught in your throat as you did your best to keep up with the man's motions, how quickly his muscular arms crossed over his wide shoulders, pulling the sweatshirt from himself. Scars etched through his skin behind his chest hair, moving with his body as he sauntered toward you.

"Take everything but those lil' panties off, before I rip it all off you sugar."

You manage to comply, prying away the fabric confining your now sweat-glazed skin, pooling in the curves of your body. You could hear his breathing hitch with every article shed from your frame, your shirt discarded messily over your head. You were left as he wanted, as he demanded, head lulling off to the side as you looked up at him. Ben looked almost smug, satisfied as his hand, unmoving at the base of his aching cock, began to stroke slowly, lips parting as he admired you. Your hands clutched at the spaces beside you on the couch, imagining how your nails would feel grinding into his shoulders, raking down his back. The heat wound tight around your senses, breathing shallow as he took two steps toward you, free hand extending to tap your knee with his index and middle finger.

"Open these up, don't be all innocent now." He spoke in a husk voice, blue eyes perched on your chest, admiring how it contoured in decadent shadows with each of your delicate breaths. You wanted to hesitate, though his calloused fingers remained unmoving on your knee. Your body rushed in a hot pulse, cheeks searing as the thought dawned on you.

If you didn't open them, he would simply do it for you.

"That's it now, pumpkin." You shuddered from his pleasure at your eyes leering away from his invasive stare, knees wobbling slightly as you spread them for the man in front of you. They were a simple white pair, nothing special you thought; You dimly remember pulling them on this morning, eyes raking over yourself in the mirror with a chew of your lip. You would never imagine someone taking such a violent and carnal need to see you like that - Like this, Ben's fingers sliding down from your knee to the soft of your thigh. He kneaded your flesh, shamelessly jerking his cock as his touch left a fire in its path, rampaging your mind as he drew closer and closer to your needy heat. A whine hummed through your chest, perhaps racketeering with a man known for his selfish dalliances was less than wise, you thought - Regret, hesitation, it pulsed in your mind in an evil concoction, it strung tight in the path of his hot touch, how small grunts escaped him with each arch of his rough palm against his member. You wanted to sputter an excuse, your lips parting, the words about to spill from them; Before his hand rested on your cunt. The strings that tightened your throat, binding each one of your movements to him and his reaction to you, snapped. Your stomach fluttered as if you were on a rollercoaster, the aching tension of the rattling chain releasing, the traction giving way to an indescribable rush and sending you rocketing downwards. You knew you were being pulled, chained, and bound to the force of a man above you, all by the tips of his fingers now circling your clit in time with his strokes.

"Fuck," You huffed shakily, hardly able to conduct the electric shivers stippling your movements as you let your weight relax into his fingers. Your hips rocked slowly, clit pressed snug against the calloused warmth of his fingers. Ben's hand moved with a deliberate rhythm, his thumb flicking over your clit as his fingers danced circles around it. He watched your body, the way your chest rose and fell, the way your eyes fluttered, and your lips parted. His breathing grew ragged, and he grunted with each stroke of his cock, the head glistening with precum. You felt the fire inside you, spreading from your core, igniting every nerve ending. The room seemed to fade away, leaving only your body, Ben's touch, and the sounds of your own ragged breaths.

"Look'atchya," Ben whispered, his voice thick with a pillowy rumble. "Soaking through your panties," You didn't didn't respond, your throat too tight to form the words. You only nodded, silently pleading, the motion of your head sending another lashing rush, the pangs of denied pleasure practically agonizing.

Ben's eyes met yours, a hunger and a want for you in them. He licked his lips and leaned in, his breath hot against your cheek. "You're fucking depraved," He whispered, his fingers dipping pulling at the thin cotton, hot against your sensitive flesh. He smirked, his thumb now toying in circles over your clit, pulling it taut with each pass. "Gettin' all wet for a bad man like me,"

Your back arched with a moan, head falling back against the couch, his words sending a thrilling shiver down your spine. The way he spoke to you, the way he looked at you, it was all far past intoxication. You felt like you were drowning in lust, the water rising higher and higher, threatening to swallow you whole. His fingers played with you, circling your clit with a deeper pressure, teasing you, making you squirm.

Ben's other hand slid up your thigh, grasping the underside of your knee, pulling you closer, and simultaneously spreading your legs. His cock, thick and heavy, rested on the soft mound of your pussy, teasing you with the promise of what was to come. You whimpered, needing more, needing him.

"Please, Ben," You begged, your voice a ragged whisper. You'd damn yourself later for sounding so pathetic eyes stinging with tears of need, cheeks hot with your desperately rushing pulse. He watched you for a sick moment, holding his thumb to your clit, lips twitching into a sadistic smirk as your squirmed frantically. You shuddered out a gasp, frustrated and desperate. His fingers stilled on your pussy, Ben's rough palm now stroking the base of his member. Your body jerked slightly, the denied pleasure mingling with a bitter pain. Ben's lowered the head of his cock, letting his girth slide between your pussy lips with a strained grunt. Pressed against your glossy entrance, rubbing against it in slow circles now, your hands reached his shoulders, nails carving into the muscular flesh.

"Beg for it."

And you did. You remember your lips hanging open, drawing in shallow breaths as you couldn't tear your eyes from the tip of his cock; How he teased you with each small breach. Tears wet your lashes, shame and need wrestling in your chest with each heaving breath between obscene words. You couldn't recall the words, the magic phrase you spoke to please him just enough to give you what you craved more than anything. It was too foggy, too spun out by the responding movement of Ben's hips.

"Nasty little thing," The man praised, hooking your knees against the curve of his elbows, yanking your ass to the edge of the couch. You cried out quietly, unable to gather your breath before the hot boiling mix of pleasure and pain began to wash over your sweat-glazed body. He slid inside, slowly at first, lip twitching as he groaned quietly. Your cunt pulled him in, the velvety breathlessness of your moans and pleads beckoning him to fill you. When his hips hit yours, the pillowed warmth of your ass slapping gently against his thighs, he admired you for a fleeting second - How your cunt wrapped over the hilt of his cock, your hips already rocking as the bitterly sweet familiar feeling of him swept you away entirely. You'd never admit to him how perfectly he fit inside, how a tugging part of your heart yearned to hear his soft moans, to hear him plea for you. Though with a hesitant draw of your eyes to meet his, you could feel the ice-hot revelation shackling your aching cunt around him, how his refusal to use you slowly seemed to short-circuit your blinded mind. He knew what you wanted; But he knew the darker side of you as well. The part of you that could never love him, but craved his calloused touch, the taste of his whiskey, the smell of his smoke. Ben thrust violently into you, the couch creaking in sharp squeaks as he practically lifted your ass from the edge of the couch, eyebrows knitting together as the new angle set a flame in his movements. Your breathing couldn't keep up, sweat dampening your hair as your hands uselessly held onto his shoulders with white knuckles. Your words floundered from between your plush lips, eyes rolling back with the rushing force of each one of his thrusts. It spun your feeble mind, melting in his hands, your grasp falling away from his shoulders with a pathetic sob. It was useless; Whether you were moaning in ecstasy, or fighting tooth and nail, he could use you when he saw fit. Use you brutally, your cunt quivering around his invasive cock, his hands moving to your waist now.

"Stop your fuckin' squirmin'!" You hadn't realized you were until his rough hands pinned you down to the worn fabric of the couch below you. He palmed your hips like a sex toy, admiring the feeling of your pussy continuing to milk him despite stilling inside of you. The head of his intrusive member pressed and rested in the small curve of your cervix. His eyes sized you down, undressing your naked body, pulling the innocence from his perspective of you; This is how you wanted him to treat you? To admire you for a transient instant before reeling his hips back, and snapping them forward with a vulgar clap of your ass. He stayed deep inside, only pulling out a few inches before slamming back, stamping the head of his cock against your cervix, pushing you to your absolute limit - All with a sickening smirk on his face, beads of sweat falling down in small pools down the curve of his jaw and prominent edges of his muscular neck and chest. Your hands explored every inch of his skin, drinking down whatever opportunity to feel him, to pry underneath the facade. Sparks flared behind the thin lids of your eyes, lashes wet and messy with tears, cheeks aflame as your body followed in smoldering suit. Ben didn't let up his thrusts, the telling pulse of your eager cunt, the incandescence moans choked from your throat. "That's it now angel, that's right - That's it, soak my cock, baby." The man's voice was mesmeric, unable to pull his attention from the unsteady breath in your growing moans. The undeniable limerence pulsated in his veins, the simple sound of your voice threatening to spill him over the edge. The ambrosial tone of your connection bound your senses to him, all the hot sparks that frayed your skin now tightened themselves in your aching cunt.

"Cum for me," Ben's words hardly pressed past the thick veil that lashed and licked hungrily at your heartbeat and body, a hot white pleasure shocking your quivering cunt. The man above you groaned, pulling your hips down to meet his, the sudden sensation of his cum filling your convulsing cunt washing over your hot skin. You tensed, legs locking around the other's waist. He gripped the back of the couch, splintering and cracking the wood underneath his iron grasp, shuddering out a hissed breath with each shallow thrust of his hips. His movements slowed, drips of his sweat dotting your skin, the heat of your mingling breaths thickening the oxygen you gasped desperately for. Slowly, he pulled himself from your pussy, letting out a strangled moan as the tip popped out, his warm cum following in a slow trickle.

Your eyes were half-lidded, eyes swimming up to find Ben, watching his toned body pull away from you, his slick cock still half erect, your juices dripping messily down his strong thighs. Your legs shook, still raised, as if stuck in that obscene position until he demanded you do otherwise - Though when the warmth of his palm met the soft of your trembling thigh, he pushed down slowly. Your legs relaxed, meeting the couch with a grunt, Ben's hand lingering on your skin for a brief moment. You knew the pain would come later, the bruises flowering over your hips, returning to the silent tension that Ben insisted was better for both of you. He took a seat beside you, his chest rising and falling with a steadying breath before looking towards you with a lazy chaste expression.

"You tell anyone about this, I'll fuckin' kill ya." You couldn't help but turn your head, speaking softly between gasps for air.

"If you were really going to kill me, Ben - You would have done it already."

[i-think-sometimes]

An argument I use whenever someone is using opinions to an unreasonable degree:

Me: Well, bikinis make me feel cold just looking at them, but you don't see me trying to stop people.

Them: that holds no argument over how (insert gender identity, sexuality, religion, etc) is evil.

Me: if everything someone decided was uncomfortable was evil I would have bikinis banned.

Them: But I like bikinis...

Me:

Them: Oh. You could just say I'm being unreasonable.

Me: Nobody listens when I use normal words. Or at all. You trapped me in this conversation. Suffer with me (this part is never actually said, because I am too nervous in real life.)

But yeah. Someone unreasonable you can't just get away from? Bikini argument them.

[latenightdaydreams]

Hi,hi😘🤗😄

Demon! König X Nun!Reader

First of all I honestly want to tell you that I really like your posts and the way you write your fanfics, every day the first thing I do after waking up is usually go to Tumblr, to check if you have posted anything.

Tôi thấy bạn đã từng viết về các linh mục! Konig X Nun! người đọc, sau đó tôi muốn khác biệt

The reader was awakened in the middle of the night by a strange noise outside the church, encountered a stranger drenched in the rain, because of her kindness and naivety, she gave the stranger shelter from the rain overnight and was raped.

Tôi sẽ vui cả ngày nếu bạn trả lời tôi về yêu cầu này, yêu bạn 😘😍🤩❤️❤️❤️

Thank you so much🥰 It always means to much when I get such sweet messages😭🩷 And yes!!

Demon!König x Nun!Reader (fem)

🚫MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING🚫

As always, please skip if you cannot handle or do not enjoy graphic topics! Your mental health matters! I hope you all have a great day💗

MDNI🔞

Master List✍🏽

>cw: fem/afab, non-con, p in v, virginity loss, religious themes

1.7k word count

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War has torn apart the village you live in, leaving only the solace of the Lord to get you through these dark and depressing times. You’re fast asleep in your bedroom within the church walls when a loud crashing sound wakes you up. Quickly, you stand, putting a scarf over your hair, then grab your purple robe and wrap it around your body. You pick up your flashlight as you walk through the dark church to inspect the noise.

You open up the front doors of the church and look around, shining the flashlight into the darkness as heavy rainfalls in front of you. Not exactly wanting to get wet, you decide to chalk the sound up to thunder. That’s when your eyes focus on the outline of a large individual. You shine your light on him to see it’s a man shivering from the icy rain. Instantly, you feel a strange feeling about this man. Where did he come from? You shake that feeling away, deciding to do what God would want you to do.

“Sir? Are you alright?” You call out to him.

König lifts his head as blonde hair falls over his face, his eyes roaming down your form hidden by your robe. Your voice sounds so sweet, almost as sweet as he’s sure you’ll taste. A little nun is left all alone when most villagers have gone off to war or died.

“Ja, I’m just lost.” He lies so effortlessly. “I lost contact with my family and I don’t know where I am.”

You look at him up and down. The man is massive and his Austrian accent is thick. With a quick glance around, you decide the holy thing to do is to let him inside, at least for the night. He could get sick in the rain and pass. That’s not something you could live with.

“Please, come inside for the night. I have a cot you could sleep on. Let yourself rest up as the rain passes.”

“Danke.”

König approaches the steps of the church, his tall stature towering over you as passes you to step inside the dark church. He looks around as you close the doors again, locking them once more. As you approach him again with the flashlight in hand, he gets to see your features up close, noting how delicate you look.

“I’m König.” He holds his hands out to shake yours.

“Sister y/n.” You place your much smaller dainty hand in his, his skin feeling warm to the touch.

His pale blue eyes linger on yours, seemingly reflecting in the darkness. The sight causes your heart to skip a beat, but you convince yourself it was a flash of lightning. König can smell your fear, your innocence. Such a tiny little thing, he will have fun ruining you.

“I have a cot and extra blankets that you can use for tonight. The priest might have left behind something you can fit into so you can let your uniform dry.”

“Thank you, Sister.”

As you walk forward into the back of the church, König follows closely behind; his eyes traveling up and down your body. You open up a door on the left, a closet where everything was kept. König lingers by the door as you bend over to grab blankets from the basket and then grab a cot.

“Let me, Sister.” König reaches out, grabbing the items from your arms.

“Thank you.” His kind gestures relax you and make you feel better about your decision to help him. “You can set up in the church and I’ll go to the old priest’s room to look for clothing.”

König nods, stepping back to allow you room to walk past. His eyes follow what direction you go in, lingering in his spot for a few seconds before dropping everything and following you. With quiet and careful steps, he follows you up a short staircase to the bedroom. The old wooden door creaks open. The room has a lantern lit showing a large cross with bloody Jesus hanging over the queen size bed.

You turn quickly to see König stepping inside, this time that deep sinking feeling isn’t as easy to shake away. He gets uncomfortably close, invading your personal space. One of his hands comes up and caresses the side of your face, slowly moving up to push your veil off and exposing your hair underneath. A light gasp leaves your lips as you turn to grab it, only to be stopped by his hand grabbing your arm.

“Please, let me go.” You whimper with fear in your voice.

“Sister y/n, so young and trusting. Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to trust strange men?” He smiles, revealing his sharp teeth.

“Please, don’t hurt me.”

“I’m not going to hurt you.” His grip on your wrist tightens as he pulls you to him. “I’m going to make you feel amazing, Sister.”

König grabs a fistful of hair in his hand, pulling your head back. With his other hand he pulls at the ties of your robe, pulling the garment from your body to expose the thin white nightgown you have on below. His hands grope you, grabbing at your breasts through the fabric while you try your hardest to fight back against him. It was no use; he is so much stronger than you.

With little effort he drags your body to the bed, slamming you down on it. The breath gets knocked out of you as your eyes go wide looking at him. His once blue eyes, now pitch black as he smiles down at you with a wicked grin.

“Wh—what are you?”

“An angel.” He says mockingly as he laughs at your fear.

König leans down and licks your face, causing you to try and turn away in disgust. He bites your jaw, both of his hands bringing your wrist together above your head. In one hand he holds your wrist, pining you to the bed right where he wants you. His other hand slips beneath the hem of your gown and caresses your inner thigh.

With all of your might you try to close your legs and stop his hand from gliding up further. It’s no use, his fingers hook the fabric of your white cotton panties and pull them off of your body. His fingers squeeze your mound before slipping his fingers between your slit.

“Please stop! You can’t do this!”

“I can and I am.” He presses his lips against yours in a painful kiss as his hand rubs back and forth on your sensitive clit.

Your both writhes underneath his body as he touches you. Shameful moans leave you and are muffled into his mouth. His tongue swirls around yours before biting down painfully on your bottom lip. You cry out as the taste of cooper fills your mouth.

“Stand up, get undressed.”

König moves off of you and begins to pull off his black shirt and undo his pants. You stand, trembling as you take your nightgown off. As you stand naked in front of him, you begin to pray. He laughs loudly listening to your prayers. He grabs your hair harshly and drags you to the end of the bed, pushing you down.

The only think you see when you look up is Jesus Christ on the cross, looking down at you as he pulls your hair. You don’t stop praying as König slaps his cock on your ass. He presses himself against your asshole before dropping down to the entrance of your virgin pussy. As you pray to send the demon König away, his hips buck forward slipping his cock into your tight cunt.

“Oh, you feel so heavenly Sister.” König’s voice a low growl as he thrust his hips into you.

Streaks of blood left behind from his fat cock tearing your hymen. Your face scrunches in a shameful mix of pleasure and pain. His cock bullies its way deeply inside of you, making sure he completely fills you.

“Please God, save me—”

“Ja, beg your God to save you, Taube.” His hips slam harder into you, your pussy fluttering as you try to adjust to him. Your prayers don’t stop. As if truly thinking you matter. “Your god doesn’t care about you. You’re all alone. Here. With me. I’m your god now.”

“No!” Your fingers grab at the bedsheets and squeeze as you feel how wet you’re getting, your body betraying you and enjoying every painful thrust.

König pulls his cock out and yanks you back by your hair roughly. “Open.” You do as he asks, fear in your eyes as you look up at him. He slips his cock into your mouth, moving his body over yours so that you’re leaning back between his legs. His hips begin to thrust into your mouth, shoving himself down your throat.

You gag; your hands hit his ass trying to stop but it only encourages him more. Tears pour down your face as spit begins to bubble at the edges of your mouth and fall down your face. Your body tenses as you try to not vomit. The salty taste of his precum of coppery taste of your cunts blood mix and add to the unpleasant sensation.

He pulls back, slapping his slobbery cock on your face as your gasp for air. “Pray to me, pray I fuck you.”

As you’re gasping for air, you feel broken down. A demon entered the hold grounds and is breaking your vow to the lord. God nowhere to be found as you plea for his salvation. With trembling lips, you pray.

“Dear König, please fuck me. Please fuck my pussy.” Tears roll down your cheeks as you gaze up with puffy lips.

“Perfect Sister. Perfect.” He pushes you back onto the cold wooden floor as he crawls on top of you, shoving his cock back inside of you.

After that night, your faith in God has never been the same. There is no feeling of the Holy Spirit around you, only the empty and cold walls of an old building. The demon named König visits you in your dreams to torment you. You often spend your days staring blankly into space, waiting for König to come back and claim you again.

[mystical-one]

music conspiracy tumblr in 1967

🎸 blondeonblonde1966 Follow

lets be honest bob dylans ass did NOT get into a motorcycle crash like he didnt even try to make it real. there was literally no ambulance no records of the crash NOTHING. shes sucha faker but i respect it

💀 cranberry-sauce Follow

he was jealous of paul mccartney

🎸 blondeonblonde1966 Follow

ok

72 notes

🍓 wheres-the-bus Follow

Paul McCartney, 1942-1966

7,235 notes

🐒 clarrksvilleee Follow

why does michael nesmith seem so hostile towards peter tork irl...honestly i think they should settle it like men and make love in the green grass like god intended

7 notes

🎹 catch61 Follow

honestly i cant believe people are still dumb enough to be watching/posting about the m*nkees. i will fucking block you. it is literally appropriating youth culture and monetising it for their own gain ffs

🎹 catch61 Follow

SOMEONE JUST TOLD ME THEY LOCK THE ACTORS IN A MEAT LOCKER BETWEEN TAKES COME ON 😭😭 have any of you realised that you are actively giving money to a studio thats literally evil. i dont care about the actors or their stupid fake music but come onnnn

17 notes

🍒 tuttifrutti reblogged valleyofthedollies

🍓 wheres-the-bus

Paul McCartney, 1942-1966

#HES LITERALLY ALIVE?? #what the fuck is going on rn

7,235 notes

💊 valleyofthedollies Follow

woke up today and everyone is posting that paul mccartney died..i dont want to believe it but theres so much evidence for it :(

7 notes

🎱 coffeecolouredcadillac Follow

10.8k notes

[hwangism143]

drunk promises.

chan watched as you stumbled out of the doors of the bar, beaming at him and holding up a packet of what looked like french fries. it was your friend groups bi-monthly night out, and who was he to deny you some fun?

you were evidently drunk, and possibly the only one since most of your friend group was either pregnant or had kids at home. chan wrapped you in his arms, his familiar scent engulfing you.

chan picked you effortlessly and felt you giggle against his neck. he laughed and placed you in the car, helping you with your seatbelt, stealing a few french fries in the process.

when he started the car, you asked, "chan?"

"hm?" he replied, turning to face you.

you turned to him with a lovesick grin, "do you love me?"

chan had to stifle his laughter as best as he possible could. gosh, you were just so cute. chan laced his fingers through yours, opting to steer with just one hand.

"y/n, baby," he said gently, "we've been married for three years."

your face instantly lit up and you placed your cheek against the padding of the car seat. "oh yeah!"

chan laughed and ruffled your hair, softly kissing you at a red light to remove the pout on your face.

"chan."

"hm?"

"let's make a baby."

"what?"

chan nearly crashed the car then and there. it wasn't that he didn't want kids. it was just that the two of your never properly discussed it, prioritizing your careers over starting a family. but he should've known it was coming; baby fever had both of you in it's deathly grip.

"i love you, you love me, and when two people love each other very much-"

you babbled on and on about how having a baby would be advantageous.

"we can get free cuddles and not have to go to other people's homes!"

"looking after a baby is more than just free cuddles honey."

you frowned, your lip caught between your teeth. "i know! we'll do the taking care part too. i can change the diapers in the morning, and you can do it in the night, since you don't sleep anyways."

you continued with a satisfied smile, "and then we'll get free cuddles."

chan watched you with what he bet were literal hearts in his eyes. when your initial enthusiasm died down to a form of exhaustion, you placed your head against his shoulder and yawned.

"promise me you'll talk about this when you're sober?"

"promise," you sighed sleepily, hooking your pinky finger with his and giving him a triumphant smile.

god, he had never loved you more. but that would be a lie. he found himself loving you more with each passing second he had knowing that he loved you and you loved him.

(ten months later proof of that promise was nestled in chan's arms and now he had two people whom he could proudly expend all his love on for the rest of forever if possible.)

liked this fic? please reblog and comment! it means everything to me and I love reading your thoughts <3

: ̗̀➛ current permanent taglist:

@linoalwaysknows @moon0fthenight @hyulino @palindrome969

@squishybinnieee @lastgreatamericandynasty1 @stayinlimbo @farfromsugafanfic

@hongshuaknow @cookiesandcreammy @kayleefriedchicken @toomanybiasz

@seooj444 @soaplickerrr @nappynapnaps @lina-linny @yrqrnc

(if your name is in red please check your tumblr settings; it won't let me tag you)

also compulsory tagging @calypsohan (hi maxie this is for you and your broken ankle, get better soon by the power vested in a sappy chan drabble written by yours truly!

requested by: @15092000volcano (i hope you like it lovie, i added my own spin on it hehe)

[growling]

*average self-proclaimed safe space tumblr blog voice* I soooooo support people with schizophrenia that must be so hard to you anyway I just saw some weird looking woman talking to herself right outside my house im fearing for my life should I call the cops. Yeah dude I support all the adhd havers in the chat just try to pay attention when I talk to you it's not that hard it's like the least you could do to show some regard for the other human being in front of you. Like it's fine to have memory problems but why did you forget this one thing in particular that was important to me do you like not care or anything you should try harder. I am one of the only real mental health advocates to still exist in this world I hear your struggles that being said I hope I never get to meet one of those irl sociopaths or people with aspd whatever they call them now they're so freaky and they can blend into society so well you might never know if you're actually face to face with an actual socio i mean person with aspd in the store absolutely one of my biggest fears what if they torture me in their basement. I absolutely empathize with all the people in here suffering from delusions as long as they like, don't actually show it or have one concerning me that'd be highkey uncomfy leave me out of this dude im not talking to you until you get help, anyway my fav character from my anime just presumably died but i still think they actually survived im sooo delulu lol. We should push for more wheelchair accessibility in our cities I agree but like it's so difficult to tell how many people are actually disabled and who are actually faking it, like, ummm why did that "wheelchair" "user" guy stand up just now cover blown lmaoo…. Yeah I support people with facial differences but I still have a right to be disgusted you can't control my emotions anyway can you tag your selfies as #body horror this deeply triggering to me. Speaking of triggering can you also pleaseee hide your scars or at least warn us beforehand jesus do you know how many people genuinely do not want to see it. Here is my extremely fast strobing lights and flashing gifset #epilepsy. Yeah I loveee girls with bpd beautiful princess disorder am i right they're so interesting the stigma sucksssss i'd love to get to be one's favourite person as long as they don't actually have any of those weird or violent symptoms or don't go into any of their "episodes" near me like that's a bit dramatic….. I deeply feel for those who had underwent narcissistic abuse from the hands of an npd I think my shitty ex boyfriend was a narcissist too tbh #surviving narcissism here are 10 signs you are dealing with a narcissist and here's a tutorial on how to trigger a narc crash to epically own them anyway does anyone else think we should start enforcing mandatory castration of all the newly diagnosed narcs like you know what happens when they reproduce right. But I am willing to support them as long as they go to therapy to get that fixed it's just you know. Anyway sometimes hospitalisation is fine if they're genuinely a danger to themselves like what do you want them to go live on the streets or actually get help?? I support all the people dealing with being a professionally diagnosed disordered system and I think it's sooooo terrible how literally 99% of the youth population nowadays is purposefully faking it for attention I did my research (1 minute google search, 2 minute r/fakedisordercringe scrolling session and consulting a single system that agrees with me). It's just not believable to me that there's really that many people with it isn't it supposed to be rare… Also are we really sure all those alleged people in their heads are really real or just their imagination maybe all of them are actually faking it huh food for thought. I am very uncomfortable with nonverbal high support needs ppl actually having sex like consent is supposed to be explicitly verbal only and, are we really sure they can even consent arent they like basically children. You can't call me ableist I'm literally autistic

[donutz]

Yandere Smiling Critters x male child reader[pt. 2]

Requests from Tumblr and Wattpad—!, but not really

(Minus the fact I didn't include you being turned)

—☆You are a human in this

Sadly, you couldn’t stay here forever.

You are home now. Adopted. You did spend your time at Playcare for a couple of years though, everybody knew you, everybody in Playcare that is. The critters and kids knew you, the staff knew you, Miss Delight knew you.

So you had a mark on the place when it was time for you to leave. To get your own house. You were happy to get a home, but sad you had to leave your friends behind.

Maybe you could revisit this place again. Come back. But you couldn’t.

Something happened.

8/8/1995

You don’t know what happened that day, but you guess it was something pretty bad. It caused the whole company to shut down. You no longer saw any commercials of the toys.

Rumors were spread around, maybe somebody died, maybe a toy hurt somebody, maybe.. Maybe an experiment happened.

Anyways. There was a letter. A letter in the mail, something that related to your old home. Find the flower?

.

.

.

Sure. Why not, you were seventeen, you can handle yourself.

Which is something you shouldn’t have ever thought, after what you’ve been through.

It’s been scary. You haven’t died yet, but death has wanted to shake your hand a few times.

You almost bumped your head on a metal pipe while passing through a dark hallway, nearly broke your leg because you wanted to jump off a platform, wanting things to go by faster.

You’ve been chased through vents, and ended up at a dead end. You didn’t know what to do. You almost got shredded. But, were spared.

“.. Huggy?” He stared at you, maybe he recognizes you, even after all these years.

He didn’t kill you. He let you down on the second level of the metal stairways with his arm, and went back to where he originally was.

Then you were solving puzzles, with a particular doll following after you.

But the doll got snatched up, by a spider. Mommy Long Legs. She did remember you, you were the one who wasn’t so good at the games..(for the sake of your life in this story)

But she thought you left her to die, so she still forced you to play the three games. The first game has Bunzo! He was hesitant to kill you, you were the kindest kid to him when you lived here.

And for the first time, you actually beat the game! He was so proud of you! He wasn’t proud of his unfortunate fate in the future, but at least he didn’t need to kill you.

Then the small Huggies. They also remembered you, so they were sparing you. You also beat that game! They were happy, letting out tiny purrs at your success.

Then Pj— Wait. Since when were you so good at these games? The last I checked, you failed every single one of them! Fine. I’ll just sabotage the game for you, to make sure you never leave.

You could see Pj coming out of his pug-a-pillar hole, and you were sweating a little. Hopefully he remembered you too.

He did, once he saw you he stopped in his crawling tracks, taking a pause. He missed your younger adorable face when he gave you a small bump on your back, signifying that the ‘game’ was over.

But he unpaused at the start of the music playing.

You escaped. Out of there. That’s fine. I could just chase you myself

Three chases. You got chased THREE times. How desperate was she to kill you?!

You were putting the blue hand on the scanner, when you heard Mommy’s quick steps towards you.

You looked behind you— Eyes widening from her abrupt appearance. For the fourth time.

The door opened! And.. Mommy got killed, by you, by your hands.

A hand crept out from the thin crevice of a metal door. It took Mommy’s left over body, to wherever. You didn’t know what it was. Where it took her. But thanked god(or not, depends on your thoughts) at the fact that you weren’t Mommy at this moment.

Now you are somewhere. The train crashed, and you could feel the back of your shirt being picked up. You were sliding down a pipe, into somewhere.

You don’t know where it was, but you needed to get out, fast.

Doing some parkour, you looked around, and saw a long tail(plus paws) crawling up inside a vent.

“... Catnap?”

You went through some doors, and ended up seeing where the crashed train was. Going somewhere, you could see the recognizable entrance you went to at age 5. The way to Playcare.

You could hear the sounds of steps. Hurrying up you went inside the much smaller train compared to the one you were originally in.

“My name is Elliot Ludwig.”

Hm. Those words you could remember.

“When you look around at the world today,” You repeated after him.

“what one thing do you think it needs more of?”

“Playcare!”

Even at seventeen years, you were still mesmerized by what was shown.

You looked down, and could see 3— no. Five creatures walking or crawling around, resembling the Smiling Critters.

“Oh.”

Some of the critters could hear Elliot’s voice continue about Playcare, eyeing the moving train.

They saw your shadowed figure. Not knowing who you were. But a light is shown on your face.

Bubba, Dogday, Kickin, Hoppy, and Bobby saw your face. You’re back?

No. They must be seeing things. You were gone. Away from them.

But Dogday could recognize those eyes. Your skin, your curiosity, your hair(if your hair changed colors, or texture after growing up, then.. Yea, he still remembered you).

“Angel?” (Even if you didn’t really save him, he’s going to call you Angel. Because I needed a nickname for you. Y’know, because I can’t list every single name of the people who’re reading this?)

The other critters heard his whisper. … Maybe it was you.

The train stopped. But you were kind of scared, were they like Huggy or Mommy? Were they going to chase you down?

“Ah shit.”

‘Language.’ Dogday thought, dogs have good hearing y’know!

You were trying to find a way for two possible outcomes of being down here.

A) Try to make the train go back if the critters try to kill you

Or

B) Somehow reminisce in meeting your old friends

B sounded a lot more better than A.

And.. B did happen!

The 5 critters went over to the train, while you were standing there. Waiting for whatever will happen to you.

Dogday crawled over to you, it was you! Your scent!

He gave you the biggest hug while his tail wagged(really fast, it’s kind of crazy).

He was still fluffy even after these 10 years.

“Angel I missed you so much—!”

You were trying to hug him back, but a little too scared because of the critters staring into your soul.

Dogday noticed their silence and spoke up—

“Guys! This is Angel!! You don’t recognize him??”

Silence.

“THE ONE WHO WAS HIDING BEHIND PICKY..??”

“OHH”

“YOU’RE BACK?!?”

“I was thinking that it was him but I wasn’t sure…”

“ANGEL!?!?!?”

You were escorted out of the train, and were greeted by a bunch of animals pawing at you.

You couldn’t get a word in!

Picky, Crafty and Catnap came over, hearing all of the excited animal noises.

Now you were crowded by a bunch of animals. You were so tiny compared to them, so they had to be gentle.

So much noises were going on that even the smaller critters came over to see the commotion.

You were back home!

Now you can’t leave.

[ropes3amthoughts]

OUGH KABRU 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I LOBE HIM SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭 HE CATES SO MUCH ABOIT OTHER PEOPPLE BUT HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT HIMSELF AND HE DOESNT CARE IF HE DIES AND HE THINKS SO LITTLE OF HIMSELF AND HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT HIMSELF AND HE THINKS HIS ONLY OURPOSE IS TO ACT AS A TOOL TO PREVENT A LIKE UTAYA FROM HAPPENING AGAIN 😭😭😭 AND HES. A DORK TOO 😭😭😭😭 OUGH IK GONNA BE SO SICK KM COUBID AGH KABRU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 KABRUUUUUUUUU 😭😭😭😭😭 HIS HEART IF SULL OF LOVE 😭😭😭 LOVE AND PEACE 😭😭😭 KANRU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 OUGHHJJJJ KABRU 😭😭😭😭 *NOT CRAZY TOTALLY NORMAL AND SANE VOICE* HEY GUYS ASK ME TO TALK ABOUT KABRU 🙂 THEFE IS MH NORMAL FACE READY TO TALK ABOUT GIM 🙂 KABRJJJHHHH HES I LOVE HOM 😭😭😭😭😭 SUCH A SQEET GUY I LOBE HOME SO MUCHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THE POCTURES ARE ALL OIT OF ORDER AND A MESS BUT IDGAF THIS IS KABRU KABRU 😭😭😭😭 IM HOMOSEXUAL KABRU I LOBE YOI 😭😭😭 HEY GIUS TIME FOR MY TOTALT NTOMALU KABRU POST LMAO HERE IT GOES 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 KABRU MAKES ME SO SICK HE HAS INSOMNIA AND HE DRINKS ALCHOHOL TO HELP WITH IT YOU STUPIF ODIIOT MAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭 THATS JOT TRJE HES ACTUALLY SO SMART HEARTTTTTT OUGH KABRU 😭😭😭😭 HES SO GOOD AT COMING UP WOTH PLANS AND THINKING GAST HES SOKKOOOOOK SMART WOWZA AND HES SO SWEET 😭😭😭😭😭 IF I WAS DROWNING IN A RIVER I THKNK HE WOULD FISH ME OUT. AND SAVE ME. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SWEET RHANG WHO CARE ABOUT PEOPLE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 IM SO SICK OBER THE FACT HE STILL ISNT OVER HIS TRAUMA BUT HE REGULARLY GOES INTO THE DUNGEON AND FACES HIS TRAUMA BECAUSE HE WANTS TO CONSQUER THE DUNGEKN BECAUSE HE WANTS TO PREVENT SOEMRHIJT LIKE UYAYA FROM HAPPENING LIKE MAN YOU ARE OUSHING TOURSELF SK MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 WHY HASNT HE HAD A PRIPER LAMB SYEW😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 LROBABNLY BECAUSE HES SO BUDY TRYING TO LOOK OUT FOR. OTHERS 😭😭😭😭😭😭 HE DOESNT SPEND ENKUHH TIME KOVING HIMSELF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 POST CANON COMIC WHERE KABRU FINALLY GETS TO EAT LAMB STEW WHEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 KABRU GETTINF A PRIPER EIGHT HOORS OF SLEEP WEHN 😭😭😭😭😭😭 KABRU LOVING HIMSELF QHEN 😭😭😭😭 THINKING ABOIT HOW GUILTY HE FEELS LIKE HE WAS THE KNLY SURVIVOR OF THE YTAYA TRAGEDY SO HE HAS SURVIBORS GUITY AND HE PROBS FEELS RESPONSIBKE FOR HIS MOMS DEATHS ESPECIALLY LIKE SHE HAD A NICE COMFORTABKR HOME BUT SHE HAD TO LEAVE BECAUSE HE WAS BORN WITH BLUE EYES AND SHE HAD TOSTRUGGLE AND RAISE HIM AS A SINGLE MKTHER AND THEN THE YTAYA TRGEDY HAPPENED LIKE SHE WOUKDNG HAVE HAD TO MOVE TO UTYA IF IT WERENT FOR HIM HE PROBABBKH FEELS LIKE ITS ESPECIALLY NIS FAULT AND WHEN HE WAS TELLING MILSIRIL HE THINKS HE IS A MONSTER BECAUSE OF HIS EYES???????? HE WAS SEVEN DAMN YEARS OLDS AND MONSTERS KILLED EVERY SINGLE PERSON HE KNEW AND HE THOUGHT HES A. MONSTER SHUT THE FUCK UP 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭POORTHINH 😭😭😭😭😭 HE PROBABKLH IS NONCHLANT ABOIT DYING BECAUSETHINKS HE DESERVES TK DIE 😭😭😭😭😭 HE FEELS RESPONSIBLE FOR UTAYA AND BE FELT RESPLONSIBLE FOR THE DEMON AND HE DELT RESPONINKR FOR EVERYTHING HE FELT SI GUILTH HE FELT LIKE A MONSTER SBJT UPPPPPPPPP 😭 MY PHONE IS IVERHEATEDING AND MY KEYBAORD IS CRASHING ANR MY RANT GOT DLEETED GWIVE TUMBLR IS TRHING TO SILENCE ME. J CANNOT B SILENVED I AM NO NORMAL ABOUT KABRU AND I NEVEE WILL BE I LKBE HIM SO MUCH WHAT A GREAT CHATACTER KABRU THEY COILD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU KABRU I LOVE YOU KABRU KABRU KBRU LOBE YOU HE JS DESR TO MY HESRT MU BELOEBD IM NOT HIS BIGGEST FAN BUT I THINK I WOUKD BE TOP 10000 I LOBE HIM ANS J CAR HIM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭GYS POST MLRE KABRH PLEASE EEE 😇 WAITER WAITER MORE KABRU PLEASE :3 BOY ARE YOU UH ARE YOU A SANDIEXH BC UH UH IDK AXTYALLY I WANT O EAT A SANDWICH RN IM HUNGRY I FORGOT LINCH WHOOPS BUT I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN KABRU 🔥 I WILL EAG A MWAL SO I HAVE RHE NERGU ETO LOOK AG PICYURES OF KABU 🔥 HELL YEAH 🔥 KABRU 🔥 KABRU MY GORGEOUS HANDOMS 🔥 IF I XOULD PAINT I WOULD PAINT HIM 🔥 CHOKES AND DIES 🔥 IHNORE THAG 🔥 KABRH 🔥 I COULD MAKE AN INTELLGIENT AND WELL THKIHHT OIT RANT ABOUT HIM BUT THIS IS EASIER THIS IS MY TRUE UNFIKTERED FEELINBS THESE ARE SCANS FRKM MH BRAJNA 🔥 KABRU 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[that-sarcastic-writer]

Bad Dreams

Re4R!Leon S. Kennedy X F!Reader

Summary: Leon has really bad nightmares after Spain, so you try to comfort him. This is just pwp

Warnings: explicit sexual content, minors dni, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it), p in v, brief fingering, riding, praise kink, slight somnophilia (she was already awake but hella sleepy), creampie, soft!dom leon, Leon has a mouth on him, the s in leon s kennedy stands for slut, leon has unresolved PTSD, language, established relationship, no use of y/n

WC: 2.3k

A/n: yall mfs are probably like but lia can u pls stop with the Leon shit. And my answer is no. I'm gonna write about that man until I get burn out of him. And since DI is coming out in July yall better get used to him. So yeah in the meantime while I finish my actual plot smut leon fics, here's this pwp to keep yall entertained, enjoy :)

Leon Kennedy Masterlist

Ao3 link (but like pls still rb and shit on here thank u)

Gif cred to this tumblr

Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated!

Cold, a cold, gut wrenching chill ran through his entire body. He could feel it. He could feel himself start to lose control of his mind, of his body. He was frozen, stuck in his place. Only her screams drowned the voices. Her screams, they were deafening. Heart-wrenching. He needed to save her. He had to. But he couldn't. He couldn't save her. He couldn't fucking save anyone. Don't fight it. Just give in. Let it take over. Stop fighting. There's nothing to fight for. The screams. The fucking screams..

Leon—!

Leon's eyes shot open, and he sat up just as fast. Panting, chest glistening with sweat and his hair drenched. He blinked a couple of times as if he was trying to figure out if he was still dreaming. It wasn't dark or gloomy, his bedroom wasn't cold. He realized he was in fact in his bedroom, in his apartment, and he was still alive. He took a couple of long but shaky deep breaths as he ran a hand through his hair, moving in out of his face. He looked to his right side— shit. 

"Leon..?" You were still half asleep, eyes squinted as you reached out to gently grab his arm, now sitting up as well. 

"Sorry. Go back to sleep babe." 

"Hey," You said, now a bit more alert as you rubbed your face with one hand, "was it another nightmare?" 

A month. It had been a month since he came back from Spain. And almost every fucking night he was waking himself up halfway through the night, and by extension you. He felt bad. But you didn't blame him for it, he couldn't help it. Not that you could actually convince him of it though. 

"Yeah." He shook his head dismissively, eyes not meeting yours. "I'm fine."

"Do you think you can go back to sleep?" You asked softly, seeing on the clock next to his side that it was only 3:00 AM. 

"Don't think so." He muttered, still not looking at you. His hands were shaking a bit, and his breathing was still uneven, like he was counting his breaths in his head at an unsteady pace. "It's fine. I'm fine." 

"Leon…" 

"I'm fine." He emphasized, a bit more harshly, hoping you could turn the other way and go back to sleep, to leave him to deal with his own issues. But he could never convince you of that either. 

You frowned softly and without saying a single word you scooted closer to him until your chest was pressed to his arm. You left a kiss on his shoulder, and with your hand you turned his face in your direction. 

"Baby, it's okay." You soothed softly, bringing your lips to his jaw. As you left kisses up his freshly shaved jaw you could feel the lock in his muscles loosen. "I'm right here. You're safe with me. You're okay." 

He breathed unevenly through his nose, eyes shuttering as he turned his head fully, lips crashing against yours. Your soft gasp quickly turned into a satisfied hum. You parted your lips for him as his mouth captured yours, a large hand coming to rest at the back of your neck to bring you closer to him. You were still far too sleepy to match his intensity, but you allowed him to do as he desired. A soft grunt fell from his lips as he squeezed the back of your neck, tongue slipping into your mouth as his other hand irked up your exposed thigh— his old academy t-shirt doing very little to cover your lower half from his prying hand. But you didn't stop him, if anything you parted your thighs with ease. He groaned at this and without hesitation, he threw you over his lap, pulling you to sit on top of him.

"Mmm, you wanna ride me baby?" His tone was low, still slightly raspy from sleep, but he was anything but, he was wide awake, blue eyes big and full of need, desperate, desperate for your comfort and love. You were nodding in an instant. "Yeah? You think you can do that pretty girl?" 

"Uh huh." You mumbled as you looked at him through half lidded eyes, not being able to help rubbing yourself against his clothed cock. 

He exhaled unevenly through his nose, fingers squeezing your bare thighs as he lifted your hips enough to pull down your panties. He was settling you back on his crotch in an instant and you whined as soon as your clit brushed against the soft material of his boxer briefs. Leon hissed softly, bringing two fingers up to your lips. He raised his eyebrows at you, eyes commanding you without having to say the words. You happily parted your lips and he pushed the two fingers into your mouth. He hummed, watching you intently, lip pulled under his teeth as you coated his fingers with your saliva. 

"Mmm yes, good." He hummed as he pulled his fingers from your mouth and instantly pressed his soaked fingers against your clit. He watched with pride as your lips fell open as he spread the wetness over the sensitive bud before he circled them around your entrance. "Fuck, did I tell you how much I missed this pussy? Wanna fuck this pussy so bad baby." 

"Oh Leon— yes— please… Mhmm—!" His fingers slipped into your wet core with ease. The way he could so easily manipulate your body into submission, into needing him, it was beyond comprehension. But you didn't need to understand it. You just wanted him to use you for comfort, you wanted to make him forget. "Please Leon. Please let me ride you now." 

His response was closer to a guttural groan than to any words, but he happily complied. His fingers left you as he attempted to tug down his boxer briefs, you lazily lifted your hips enough for him to pull out his cock. A heavy sigh left his lips as his cock slapped against his stomach. He reached to grab a hold of your hips, but you placed your hands on his chest and gently made him lie on his back. He looked at you with big eyes, a bit surprised by your eagerness, but fuck he'd be damned if he complained. A soft smirk tugged at his lips as he watched you clumsily and a bit messily position yourself above him, coating his cock in your slick.

"Ah— Shit, c'mon baby. C'mon." He spoke through exhales, trying his best not to force you down on his cock himself. But you were sleepy, so tired but still wanting to please him, you could take your time. And you did a minute or so later, he watched with parted lips as you slowly sank down on his cock until only a little bit was left, but he knew you couldn't fit all of him. "Ohhh yes. Yes good girl. Fuck." 

"Oh— mhmm! Fuck Leon." You whimpered, nails digging into his chest as you rocked your hips, eyes already closed as you adjusted to the feeling of him before you were lifting yourself up enough to slam down on his cock, again, and again. 

"Oh my sweet girl, you're doing so well," the praise came through a breathy moan, his eyes only half lidded as he watched you bounce on his cock, one hand gripping your hip and his other arm was behind his head. "Mhmm yeah, fuck yourself on my cock baby— ah— yeah, just like that." 

You were trying, god you were fucking trying. Fucking yourself on Leon like your life depended on it, your moans almost as pathetic as your attempts at keeping up with the pace you both wanted and needed. Poor thing, you were holding for dear life, body over Leon's, clutching the arm under his head as your hips moved. And Leon? He didn't even look like he was breaking a sweat. 

"Ugh— mhm fuck… Leon.." You were whining desperately into Leon's neck, every muscle in your body aching with heat. He could hear the shift in your voice, you weren't just whining, no, you were asking him. "Leon." 

"What do you need, baby?" He moved your face from his neck, eyebrows furrowed with concern as he could feel your pace start to slow. "Why'd you stop?" 

"'M sorry.. I wanna.." Oh, he got it. You wanted him to do it. A small smirk pulled at his lips. "Can you…" 

"Oh pretty girl. Are you tired? I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry I woke you. But don't worry, I'm still gonna fuck you to sleep." He wrapped an arm around your torso, holding you firmly as he sat up. He moved to sit on his knees, your legs tightly wrapped around his waist. He snapped his hips, your body bouncing in his grip. Your face fell into his neck again, crying out when his cock brushed against that sensitive spot inside your walls. "Yeah, right there?" 

Again, again, and again. He held you around his hips, making sure you felt each rock of his hips, and every time his cock hit your most sensitive spot. 

"Yes! Fuck Leon— oh God— yes, don't stop please!" 

You didn't even have to tell him. He'd be damned if he stopped before he could feel the squeeze of your tight walls, before he could hear the lewd sound of his cock slapping against your wet cunt. Never. He'd die first. He held you tight, one arm still firm over your back, pressing your chest against his, while the other hand was deep in your hair, pulling just as hard as you were pulling his. 

"Mhmm I wouldn't dream of it, baby. Not gonna stop until you're screaming my name, shaking when you come— ah— can already feel it." He moaned every word, his own need for release slipping. Only you could make him lose control like this, only you could be both his instability and his comfort. It made you want to give in, all of yourself, to him. "Look at you, holding me so tight, taking me so fucking well. God. You're so goddamn perfect— agh—" 

"Mmmm please… please Leon, I wanna come." You were whining the words into his neck, nails digging into his back as you held on for dear life, his punishing thrusts not once letting up, only getting you closer to falling apart. 

"I'm gonna make you come, don't worry." He breathed out a laugh, lips pressed to your hair as he sneaked a hand between your bodies, slick fingers pressing down on your swollen clit. It didn't take much more for you to fall into a shuddering fit of sobs, nails digging into his shoulder blades and toes curling as your wetness seeped around his cock. "Mhmm yes, fuck yes. Good girl."

He used his other arm to pull your body up as it slouched against his chest. He only chuckled breathlessly as your body gave out on top of him as soon as you orgasm washed over you. He held you firmly as he drilled into you, now chasing his own release. His eyes were screwed shut, blonde hair sticking to his forehead as he pressed his face into your chest, rasped whimpers falling from his lips. 

"Ahh— Fuck, your pussy— God— can't get enough of it. I don't ever want to leave this room. You're the only good thing in this fucked up world. The prettiest— mhm fuck." He knew he all he was saying is nonsense, and he knew you weren't fully listening, still half asleep and utterly fucked out, but you were still conscious enough to whimper his name. Like weak praises, weak and pathetic, but fuck, it was the prettiest sound he'll ever hear. "Shit. Fuck. Gonna come baby— ah yes— say my name just like that. Mhmm fuuuck." 

Leon held you down on his cock, hips slightly twitching in aftershock as he spilled himself inside you with a guttural moan of your name that almost made you want to come again right then and there. It was silent for a long while as you simply held each other. His face on your chest and yours on top of his mess of bed/sex hair, and he was hugging close, damn near bear hugging you. You didn't want to move him. You knew if there was something he needed in this world was to feel safe. And you would burn the whole world just to give him that. 

"Thank you." You finally heard his voice, it was mumble, almost muffled by your (his) t-shirt. You irked up an eyebrow, eyes hooded as you opened them to look at him. 

"For what?" You mumbled quietly, sleep and tiredness slowly taking over you again. He lifted his head, there was this tiny smile on his face. He moved you both around until he was laying on his back again and you were laying on his chest, only then he answered. 

"For making me feel… safe." He paused for a few seconds before saying the word, and you could hear the lightheartedness in his voice. Like he no longer felt that tug on his chest, or that pull in his head. For now at least. "I'm never going to forget the things that I've seen and done, I might have nightmares for the rest of my fucking life, but… when I'm with you I feel like.. Like I can breathe so.. Thank you." 

You rested your hands on his chest as you leaned up enough to press a kiss to his lips. It was slow, gentle and loving. He had only started to learn about those things when he met you. 

"I love you Leon." You sighed happily, nuzzling your face into his neck. He hummed softly, inhaling the scent of your hair, the fresh lavender and vanilla comforting him in the best way possible. He pressed a kiss to your hair and closed his eyes. 

"I love you. And I don't think you'll ever understand just how much you mean to me." 

He had nightmares every night, every night since Raccoon City. But on some nights with you, he would sleep through the night happily.

[vilebird]

FUNERAL AFTER A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE

a painting of a pale sky and bright blue sea crashing onto dark rocks and foaming. it's oriented the right way. - Day, by Frederick Judd Waugh

"and the man looks me in the eyes and he points to the blue-orange vault over heaven's gates and he says the face of everyone you miss is up there and i know i know i can't see them but i know" - And What Good Will Your Vanity Be When The Rapture Comes, by Hanif Willis-Abdurraqib

"i've cut myself off. i can feel the place / where i used to be attached. it's raw, as when you grate / your finger. it's a shredded mess / of images. it hurts." The Door, by Margaret Atwood

"i found you / i found the door / but when i stepped through / there was no floor" I want you, by Mitski

a still from a video of a bright setting sun against a dark orange sky and dark blue sea, with the caption "don't cry" - The Green Ray (1986)

"i feel dead. / i feel as if i were the residue of a stranger's life" - The Lost Pilot, by James Tate

"the shuddering moan of blood, a song to calm the sacrificial, the loss across the river. the way a dying animal will look at you is seared into me. we tie together and all over again." - i cant remember what this one is sorru

"i am feeling numb. it's a curious feeling, and i get it all the time. my attention to the world around me disappears, and something starts to hum inside my head. far off, voices try to bump up against me, but i repel them. my ears fill up with water and i focus on the humming inside my head. / i am inside my skull. it is a little cave, and i curl up inside it. below it, my body hovers, unattached." - Madness: A Bipolar Life, by Marya Hornbacher.

"-though we're dry and waiting. part of me died here so another could go on. the body i raised-" - When They Say you Can't Go Home Again What They Mean is You Where Never There, by Marty McConnell

text: "there'll always be a few things / maybe several things/ that you're gonna find / really difficult to forgive" image: a black silhouette of a minotaur sitting on top of a pale pillar rising out of a pale maze, looking out at an orange sunset over an empty desert beyond the walls of its maze. the text is black letters on white pasted in strips over top. - Up the Wolves by the Mountain Goats and Minotauro by Jordi Garriga Mora. collage put together by @scatterghosts

"i know there are things i haven't survived." - Lord of the Butterflies, by Andrea Gibson

"it seems to me that the dead only return for love or for revenge. who did you come back for?" - White is for Witching, by Helen Oyeyemi

a painting of a bright white bird on a background split between dark blue and black - Promised Land (2013), by Michael Creese

"and with or without your support, i will continue / what im trying to say is you never know what you've been through / til you pause and cough it out" - Cough It Out by The Frontbottoms

"painting all the mirrors black / i won't see you staring back / i'm getting lost forever / searching in the broken glass / trying to ignore the past / and put myself together" - Mirrors by 8 Graves

"saint calvin told me not to worry about you / but he's got his own things to deal with / there's really just one thing we have in common: / neither of us will be missed" - Saint Bernard by Lincoln

"so many bright lights to cast a shadow / but can i speak? / well, is it hard understanding / that i'm incomplete?" - Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance

"being in a completely normal nonthreatening scenario & environment and thinking 'i have GOT to get the fuck out of here' with the intensity of some trapped neurotic prey animal" - tumblr post by user @greelin

"but you know me / what can't i conjure into hysteria / and longing? / any place is a funeral as soon as i get there. / of course i'm the disaster / but you're the one foolish enough / to learn my name." - The Next Time We Talk on Facebook, by Clementine von Radics

"if your wounds are still open, trust / they are the doors to an answer, / and walk through." - You Better Be Lightning, by Andrea Gibson

text: "what a tremendous thing to learn from" image: black text on white strips across a blue-orange gradient - i forgot this one too sory

"when the body remembers, it bucks wildly / when we try to heal, the phantom smell returns / while in the shower, you break down / while you wash your body you realise it is not your body / and at the same time, it is the only body you have" - Bless the Daughter Raised by a Voice in Her Head, by Warsan Shire

"that was the thing. you never got used to it, the idea of somebody being gone. just when you think it's reconciled, accepted, someone points it out to you, and it just hits you all over again, that shocking." - The Truth About Forever, by Sarah Dessen

"the spirit is so hurt / it don't know the / body / it / looks in / the mirror / and asks, who is it?" - On/My/Aging, by Carolyn Marie Rodgers

"could we sit together in new bodies, shoulder to tender / shoulder, / the lovely and the thorned, the bitter and the failed, / the grave to the left of us, the sea to the right?" - 8, Always a Rose, by Li-Young Lee

"the fact of the matter is / you survived, / it's what you do. / death and you / walk side by side / all sigh and scythe / you stay alive. / and you have the right / but struggle to believe. / you're still allowed / to be alive. / it feels inappropriate." - It's What You Do, by Lena Oleanderson @lena-oleanderson

a painting of a bright orange sky at sunset, sun nowhere to be seen, over a pale sea crashing onto dark rocks and foaming. it's oriented upside down. - Night, by by Frederick Judd Waugh

[squirrellypoo]

Currently, what are some of your favorite iwtv fics? I’m pretty caught up on a lot of mine and need some recs

Sure! I’ll try to categorise and keep most to recent/currently updating ones just to narrow down my list. These are in no particular order! (And I am terrible at connecting AO3 and tumblr usernames so forgive me if I’m an idiot and missed some)

Vampire ones (mostly Loustat)

“Love like an ache in the jaw” Post-Dubai interview Louis POV where Lestat awakes and comes back to him, with all the pain, turmoil, and love that entails.

“Assignment” Modern AU with an anxious and stressed Louis requesting professional services to lose his virginity. Alternating POV between Louis and Lestat. (ongoing) by @riley-beautrelle

“In the White Room (L’homme Lestat)” Modern vampire story where Lestat is kidnapped by a mysterious organisation and forced to become their assassin while Loumand try to help/rescue him with help from Villanelle (ongoing) by @angstosaur

“Get him back” Romcom with show!vampire Loustat kinda in that weird post-QOTD/TOTBT stage where they’re friends but not together but still inseparable. And there’s Mojo! (Series ongoing)

“Making It Work” Modern show-based Loustat are alternating POV diary entries as they try to forge new ties with Louis’s family’s descendants… (ongoing)

“Half Past Dead” Modern post-Dubai interview with Daniel interviewing (& fucking) a down & out addict vampire Lestat in New Orleans

“The Vampire Detective Agency and the case of the Mozart Murderer” Modern alternate-canon thriller with Loustat solving a murder together in NOLA (ongoing) by @angstosaur

“A favor” PL-era Louis arranges the perfect birthday celebration for Lestat - a massacre at a mobster’s decadent party by @riley-beautrelle

“Epitaph” Each daily chapter is day in the life of Daniel Molloy in Sept 1973 as his life is changed forever when he meets a man who claims to be a vampire… (ongoing, daily updates in March)

Not-quite-human AUs (just trust me)

“Come (Back) to Me” Modern painter Louis is drawn to a painting an an old chateau and time travels back to the 18th century to meet the young marquis in the portrait… by @suikamelon6

“None of them your true nature” modern AU where casino boss Louis starts an affair with the owner Lestat, despite his troubled marriage to Antoinette…

Human AU

“Did you get enough love, my little dove?” Modern human AU with single dad Lestat raising Claudia after her mother Alicia died, and anxiety-ridden Louis finds a loving home at theirs while lusting after Lestat (ongoing)

“Against All Odds” modern human AU with French exchange teen Loustat in first love then complications with Nicki at uni (ongoing) by @moderndaylestat

“I hate you but I love you more” Human AU with teacher Louis and rockstar Lestat, divorced 11 years but crashing back into each others’ lives when they’re locked in a house together. Meanwhile, Armand comes to terms with the demons of his past while he navigates his relationship with Daniel. (ongoing, nearly completed)

“Memory is a monster” Modern human AU with rockstar Lestat losing his memory after a head injury and Louis, Armand, and Daniel vying to heal/have him (ongoing) by @angstosaur

“Bubble Wrap” Modern human AU with actor uni student Louis falling for clumsy writing student Lestat as he deals with his abusive upbringing and they navigate growing up and starting their careers… (ongoing)

“Like You Mean It” Romcom modern human AU with Loustat fake dating their way through 6 weddings and denying their attraction (ongoing)

[howi99]

I dreamt of a blue butterfly 4

(i'm changing back to the normal way of writing dialogue, since i think people prefer it that way on tumblr.)

Ruby: So, uh... Cardin, right?

Cardin: *sigh* Yes.

Ruby: Where are you from?

Cardin: Vale... What about you?

Ruby: Patch. My dad and uncle are teachers in signal. They taught me everything i know!

Cardin: i see...

Ruby: You uh... You ok?

Cardin: *look at Ruby* honestly? I wanted to be in a team with my friends. I didn't expect a little girl to crash into me at Mach 3.

Ruby: Hey! I'm good enough to be here! I'm not too young or-

Cardin: I meant your height.

Ruby: .... Well i wasn't expecting to crash into a giant in armor either, but here we are.

Cardin: ...

Ruby: ...

Both: *thinking* (God this is so awkward)

________

Yang: Wait, you never trained!? How did you enter Beacon!?!

Jaune: I signed a contract? Didn't you do the same?

Yang: No! I- Holy shit, you could have died! You should have died! And that explains your lack of aura...

Jaune: W-well, i'm here aren't i? Alive and-

Yang: Dude! Do you know how dangerous your situation is!?! I wasn't trained to protect a civy yet!

Jaune: I got a sword... And a shield?

Yang: *sarcastically* Congratulations! You have a twig and a sheet of paper, for all the good it would make. *Sigh* I guess i should activate your aura, uh? It should give you some protection, at least.... Give me your hand, VB.

Jaune: already back with that nickname?

Yang: You lost your name privilege when i learned you were an absolute moron. *Taking his hand* Now, hold still and... Uh...

Jaune: What's wrong?

Yang: ... That can't be... VB, you are 100% sure you didn't get your aura unlocked?

Jaune: Yang, i didn't even know what aura WAS 10 minutes ago.

Yang: Well... Uh... It seems like it's already unlocked... That would explain why you survived but... Why didn't it activate when that branch slapped you in the face and why were you unconscious? You should have been fine...

Jaune: *looking behind yang* Uh... Yang?

Yang: *not really listening, thinking about the strange condition Jaune has* Hm?

Jaune: What does a grimm look like?

Yang: An animal with plaque armor, why?

Jaune: So uh... Not a floating pumpkin with a lantern?

Yang: ...What?

Jaune: *pointing behind her* because i see at least 3 looking at us.

[peppermintquartz]

So I botched my first date and i need some help

i went out on a date with someone that i met recently and we went to a nice Italian restaurant. The food was great, the beer was decent, and we had a nice conversation. i admit i was a little nervous because my date is super gorgeous with the most piercing blue eyes and a truly stunning smile, and i'm pretty much just a regular guy who's just starting to get his shit together after i died last year (lightning strike. i got better.)

so anyway, my date and i were talking (we were gonna go to a movie after dinner - i know, i know, it's very cliched, but i like that we're going on a classic date, you know? or we were, but anyway i digress)

so we were talking, and suddenly i hear my best friend calling out our names, and he was there with his girlfriend (i don't really know her well yet). Let's call my best friend E. So E knows my date also, and i guess i didn't want E realizing that he was crashing our date, so i lied and said something truly humiliating. i didn't mean to but the words felt like they were generated from some alien machine and slipped out of my mouth. E didn't really get it, but my date did and i could see the hurt i caused but i could not take the lie back without making things even more awkward.

needless to say, my date wasn't keen on continuing to the movies, and in fact left me outside the restaurant (after being called adorable, by the way, which did give me heart palpitations, ngl) because my date thought i wasn't ready for more. and honestly... fair, i guess? i mean, i did make an idiot of myself and i did tell a lie about us both being on a date, which is pretty hurtful, like i'm ashamed about us or something, which i am NOT, i just... idk. i was just being an idiot.

i definitely need to talk to my sis but having some outside opinion is always good (i hope? i'm always overthinking stuff)

here's the main thing: i can't stop thinking about him.

(it was a wonderful first kiss, for the record. i wish i had video of it. although that'd be kinda weird. nvm)

[imyourbratzdoll]

𝒃𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒏 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒊𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒅 𝒍𝒂𝒘𝒚𝒆𝒓

🍓the strawberry shack masterlist🍓

summary - andy has been having a tough time between his job, his wife and his son in the hospital. he decides to treat himself to something sweet.

warning - smut, oral sex, gloryhole, cheating, swearing, daddy kink.

18+ only please, the gif and headers I use aren't mine. thanks to @lomlisarilevinson for sending in the requests that started this au.

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

Andy couldn’t keep dealing with his wife and his work. He had been so stressed, having to deal with the asshole trying to steal his cases and then coming home to his wife nagging him, making him miserable and wishing he was anymore else other than there. It hadn’t been the same as in the beginning, not since she intentionally crashed the car with his son inside. Their son was lying in a hospital bed, in a coma, all because of his wife, but he couldn’t find it in himself to leave her. Laurie had pushed him to his breaking point today, causing him to walk out, slamming the door and head toward a bar, only to be stopped by the flashing pink sign next to it.

He had always wondered about this place, wanting to see what it was all about but knowing it wasn’t suitable for him as he was married. Not that it had stopped many men, but still. Andy liked to think he was different from all the rest. Maybe if he still held love for his wife, he wouldn’t be walking through the door of The Strawberry Shack. Perhaps if she didn’t make him feel so drained and dead, he wouldn’t be putting cash onto the counter and walking through to where the girls were held. 

Andy surveyed the room to see who would be perfect for this little affair. He wouldn’t waste this. What was the point of cheating on his wife if the other woman wasn’t worth it? It wasn’t like he was getting anything at home, so the woman he chose here had to blow his mind. Andy walked over to your area, feeling himself harden in your presence. Something about being around you without actually seeing you did something to the men. As though you were a siren, luring the poor defenceless men into your trap. He decides to start small, wanting to test the waters before fully committing. Andy’s hands move down to his slacks, unzipping them slowly and taking his hardened member out, groaning as he strokes his hand up and down, swiping his thumb over his leaking tip. 

He moves closer to the hole in the wall, feeding his thick cock through it and groaning when he feels your wet tongue flicking across his swollen head. You slowly suckle him into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you take his cock deeper, moaning around him as you taste his salty taste. You choke on him, becoming messy with your movements, unknowingly causing the man on the other end to try and find something to hold onto as he feels his soul begin to leave his body. You suck hard on his tip, swirling your tongue around his leaking slit, slurping him wonderfully. Andy’s eyes roll to the back of his head, wondering if he has suddenly died and gone to heaven. No one had made him feel like this. The way you were sucking his cock felt amazing, and it was so worth cheating on his wife for.

His head falls forward, connecting with the wooden wall as he pants, feeling his cock start to twitch, and his balls tighten. “Ugh, fuck! That’s right, darling. Milk daddy of all his cum!” Andy groans, moaning as you swallow him, picking up your pace until hot cum spurts from his mushroom tip deep into your mouth. You moan around him, swallowing every last drop of him before cleaning Andy up, licking him clean from the white cream. Andy pulls out of the hole, tucking his softening cock into his dress pants and zipping them up. “Thanks, sweetheart.” He doesn’t even feel a pang of guilt as he looks down at his wedding ring, shrugging his shoulders as he already plans to return to you. 

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[svkahug]

once more to see you

[chapter three; ao3 link]

tags: slow burn, injury, forced proximity, quarry!reader, hurt/comfort

summary: On the run with the Empire on your heels, a bounty hunter seems to be your only option and your best bet to getting back home.

a/n: heard someone say tumblr has no fluff well i shall provide

---

Space is so… quiet . So empty. Sometimes there’s not another breathing creature for miles. Then you hit a planet. You’ve tallied all the planets you’ve been on recently as the Mandalorian goes on the search, relentless. Yavin, Geonosis, Lothal. Desolate and lifeless planets. But you never see them. The Mandalorian isn’t exactly a tour guide but he does talk to you more often as you strap yourself onto the co-pilot seat beside him. Him and the kid are gone for days at a time, no longer than a week. 

You eat, you sleep, you dream. You’ve snooped around every nook and cranny of the Razor Crest. It’s not as if he’s going to pop out of nowhere and chastise you. You can probably traverse this ship from memory alone. 

You find what you assume is his bed. But you don’t sleep in it. Not even on the days where he’s gone. It’s just as small and cramped as the ship and you simply can’t believe anyone even uses that thing. 

The worry that he might have perished out there crosses your mind. But you couldn’t let it get to you. He uses the ship's emergency comms to check in at night. Sometimes he doesn’t.  

You shuffle through the supplies, you use the fresher, you stare outside the windows of the cockpit then you sleep on the floor. Until on the nights that you don’t. You think it started when they left for Lothal. They were gone for four days and you barely slept a wink.

It was the nightmares, you think. Twisted and vile things that were a manifestation of your fears. 

You don’t like to think about it. When your ship crashed on Jakku. You lost people. Guardsmen that've been with you since childhood. People died violent deaths to protect you. 

The memories come in flashes, unwanted and painful. They chased you through that rocky and desolate planet. The Empire rained hell. You ought to be flattered seeing as how they would go through all this trouble for you. If not for the night terrors you had of being back in that rubble, of seeing people drop dead like flies, and smelling the stench of gasoline from their flamethrowers. 

You wake up, heaving and choking back sobs, the heat of the flame feeling too real and too close. On the good nights, you’re able to talk to the Mandalorian through the emergency comm on the console of the ship. 

You’re mulling around the cockpit, memorizing the console controls, wondering what each one does when a soft crackle gets your attention. You’re so used to the quiet that the soft sound causes you to perk up immediately. 

“Mando?”

“— Hello ?”

“Took you long enough.” 

“ How’s the ship?”

You look at the blinking communicator as if it’s done you some personal offense. “...I’m fine, thank you very much. Ship’s intact, at least. Old thing.”

“... And you?”

“Are you asking if I’m still intact? Because the answer is no. I’ve lost my mind. I think I can hear colors.”

“ Yeah, isolation will do that to you .”

“What about you? Any sign of her?”

“... No. I'm in a village. No one’s seen anyone matching her description. Fob’s no help either. ” 

“Oh.” It’s nearly been two weeks. Four planets and more parsecs than you can count. “A village?”

“ Yes. Almost a day’s trek from the ship, so I’ll be back there by tomorrow. ”

You hesitate. “Can you stay? Just for a bit?”

“ Have you been sleeping? ”

“Not really.” 

“...I can keep the line open for a bit. Try to rest. ”

—

Two weeks later.

Batuu was green. That was the first thing you noticed. As the ship geared closer to the surface you see that those are actually trees, densely packed together to form a jungle. 

The ramp lowers and you can’t help it, you stand on the mouth of the ship, admiring the life of the planet. They’re gigantic, with bark twice the usual size and vines hanging from their branches, unlike what you had back at home.

The Mandalorian falls into step beside you and you can already sense what he’s about to say so you beat him to it.

“I’m just going to look.” The crest is parked in a clearing in the middle of the forest, flattening the long grass. It smells like damp soil and you can hear birds cawing in the distance. Surprisingly, he doesn’t stop you as you slowly walk down the ramp, grateful for the fresh air. “It’s beautiful.”

“It’s ancient.” He counters, his boots crunching on the ground as he flanks you. “These trees have been here for a thousand years. They’re sacred.”

You turn to him. “Don’t you think I should—”

“ No .” He says firmly. 

“She’s trained. Been in military command for as long as I can remember. She can outsmart you and she can fight….She wouldn’t run if she saw me.”

“Believe me, I can handle it. If she’s even here. I’m not risking you for an intel that could be weeks old.” He says, wading through a field of long grass, the little kid hovering nearby. 

“You’re no use to me dead.”

You make a face, smiling sarcastically. “ Charmed .”

“You’re welcome.” He deadpans. “Now get back on the ship.” 

—

There’s a storm outside when the Mandalorian comes back two days later.  You’ve fallen asleep to the sound of the smattering of rain on the roof of the ship when there’s a loud clang outside and you shoot up almost immediately.  

Suddenly, the ramp creaks awake as it opens, letting the water in. The sound of the rain is deafening now and you’re barely up on your feet before the Mandalorian sprints inside the vessel, the child’s pram zooming shortly behind him. He makes his way up into the cockpit immediately, firing up the engine before you can even hear the ramp shut below. Another crash comes from outside, and what sounded like an animal growling and clawing on the ground. Panic rises inside you as you stumble into the cockpit. 

“ What is that —?”

“Strap in now . We’re leaving.”

You do as you're told. “Did you find her?”

“No.” The ship lifts off the ground, and there’s something clanging on the side of the ship now. 

“ Who is that? ” They found us, you think. They fucking found us. 

“Bandits.”

“Wh– Seriously ?“

You’re in hyperspace when you finally notice it. You couldn’t help the gasp that escapes you, “ Holyfuckingshit , Mando—”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” He says, voice a little more ragged than usual, as if he didn’t have a knife sticking out of his fucking back.

You shoot up from your seat. “Shit , what— what do we do ? Holy —fuck .” It all comes out in a tumble. He’s facing you now but you can still see the knife sticking out of him. It’s really fucking huge. Especially because it’s halfway stuck inside him.

“Wait, wait here.” You’re practically flying through the ship when you come back with the kit, ripping it open on the floor of the cockpit and rummaging through its contents. “Here, what do you need?”

“The cauterizer.” His voice sounds thinner, even through the modulator, and it only adds a layer of panic to your already worsening state. “Look for the cauterizer— That— Yeah that one. Good.” You hand it to him. “You’re doing good. Now, you’re going to take it out—”

“What? No way .” You step back.

“Listen–”

“I don’t know how to — ”

“Hey, hey, breathe .” He grasps both your hands in his. His gloves are damp, and you see the droplets of water on his armor, his chrome visor staring up at you. “Calm down. It’s going to be alright. As long as I don’t bleed out, it’s fine.” 

“You’re kidding me right? How is that fine ?”

“Trust me, I’ve had worse.”

Trust him? That’s literally something the two of you couldn’t get right for nearly a month now. Now he’s basically putting his life in your hands and asking you to— Fuck . “Fuck, fine. I—I’ll do it.”

“Okay, you’re going to take out the dagger. Then you’re going to cauterize the wound with this.” He flicks some sort of switch and it fucking zaps . He places it in your hands. “Are you ready? You’re going to have to be quick, alright?”

He makes quick work of his chestplate, the armor clanging on the ground just as you come back with the scissors, ripping violently through his undershirt. You don’t think, you just do it and to your horror and surprise, the blade comes out easier than you expected. He lets out a long and loud groan, doubling over and gripping the console just as the bloody weapon joins the rest of his armor on the ground. You place a hand on his back to steady him, his skin warm.

“Maker, I’m sorry.” You say sincerely, gripping the cauterizer in one hand and steadying him with the other. He barks out a shout just as the laser makes contact with his skin. “ Stars , I’m sorry. Sorry, sorry… I’msosorry .” Your apologies turn into a whisper under your breath like a mantra, staying laser focused on the task at hand as he makes pained, broken noises underneath you. His fisted hand comes down onto the edge of the console.

It’s done eventually. The process felt longer than it was and there’s a moment when all you can hear is his heavy breathing mingling with the peaceful hum of hyperspace. It’s a juxtaposition of sounds. You couldn’t possibly imagine the pain he’s in and all he’s got to show for it now is a fresh jagged scar on the back of his shoulder.

You want to sit, but before you can even move an inch, he beats you to it. Suddenly, he’s tipping forward, a little too much and you recognize the fact that he’s going limp. You move just in time to catch him, letting your entire body support his weight as his helmet digs into your stomach while you try to get him back up into the chair without hurting his freshly closed wound. You hear garbling coming from underneath the armor. 

“It’s okay,” you murmur, hands on his pauldrons to support him, smearing red all over the metal. “It—It’s okay, I have you.” Literally. You don’t see any other option on how to move an injured man twice your size without hurting him right now and you’re too tired to think of a solution. So, you let him rest like that; his head on your stomach. 

You take a deep breath, your dominant hand cramping and your limbs feeling like you just strapped weights on them. You’re also getting colder and colder as the water he brought in earlier mingles with your sweat. Your hands are bloody. He makes another pained sound, a gloved hand coming up to grip your hip. 

“You ok?” You whisper. 

“ Mhm .”

“...Th—That wasn’t them, right?”

“No, it wasn’t.” Relief washes over you and you hardly feel his thumb brush a circle on your hip. 

You stay like that for longer than a moment. At some point, he’s placed his elbow on his knees to relieve some of the weight on you, still keeping his hand on your waist to steady you as you whizz through hyperspace. 

You let out a sigh, trying to focus on anything but how uncomfortable you are. 

It dawns on you you’ve never been this close before and you’ve never touched him, let alone seen his skin. It’s the first time you see him underneath all that metal. 

Suddenly, to you, there’s a lot of him. Weeks of looking at him and seeing nothing but metal and now the large expanse of his back is exposed to the cool air where you cut through his shirt. He’s a little pale from the injury and you also think it’s something to do with not being exposed to the sun that much. Your fingers grip his bare shoulder as you push him up just enough to make sure he doesn’t slip. His skin is damp, and he vaguely smells of rain, and something earthy. He’s a man underneath that armor, you almost forgot.

You watch the steady rise and fall of his torso as his lungs expand, muscles contracting as he tries to take in more air, and you notice the moles on his back. Tiny and completely unnoticeable marks scattered on the expanse of skin unless you stare really hard. You wonder if he knows this. Without thinking, you drag a clean hand, from his pauldron, to the small spot on his back, tracing it. Then to the next, and next, careful of his bad shoulder. It seemed like something you should do naturally and with no hesitation. You’re completely out of it, then, gently running your fingers along his back in a trancelike state, like your action and him feeling anything were two completely separate things. You hear him release a breath underneath you but you don’t feel the shudder that runs up his spine. You don’t see him shut his eyes underneath the helmet, don’t notice him lean back into your touch. Mando tries not to feel the throbbing pain on his shoulder, instead he focuses on the feel of your hand against his skin. He wonders if you were doing it on purpose. Or if you were in shock.

“Are you okay?” comes his question. He sounds more full now. Like he’s back to his usual self.

“Yeah,” you breathe, hand stopping in the middle of his back like you just traced a map and finally settled on a location.

You feel a squeeze on your hip, his head resurfacing from where it rested on your stomach and you’re suddenly faced with the chrome visor of his helmet.

“I’m fine. The kid’s fine. It’s over.” He says, sensing your distress. You nod silently. You can see him, and your reflection on his helmet but you can’t really… see it. Everything feels so cloudy and far away. You don’t want to look at the blood staining your hands, on his back. 

After dropping out of hyperspace, you lock yourself in the fresher and don’t come out half an hour later.

—

You assumed he was passed out from where he sat on the floor of the hull, resting, when you got out of the fresher until he said something. “We’re going back to Nevarro.”

“What for?” you whisper, meticulously laying out a fresh set of blankets on the floor. You were trying not to think much about anything right now. The baby is asleep, the hull is dark and silent, save for your whispers.

“I’m meeting with my employer, and we need supplies.” He’s changed out of his damp clothes now, and didn’t bother with putting the beskar back on yet.

You frown, listening to his attempt to get up. “You’re going to work for him?”

“Yes. I’m not made of credits.” You could argue that, technically, he was. But you feel like that would have been borderline offensive. He finds himself expecting you to say something back, but you’re quiet. He at least expected you to fight him on this, like you usually do. 

“Hey.” Comes the modulated tone of his voice, sounding hesitant. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.” You chuck your damp clothes in the corner, not meeting his eyes—or rather, the chrome visor now staring in your direction.

“I think you’re in shock.” He takes hold of your elbow as you make your way across the other end of the hull. “Talk to me.”

You stop in your tracks, feeling oddly vulnerable in your state. “...You just scared me.” You state plainly and just when the words leave your mouth that’s when you’re able to pinpoint what it is you’ve been feeling all alone. Fear. An image flashed through your mind—limp bodies on the ground, eyes wide open but so empty and lifeless. The memories rears its ugly head at you tonight, resurfacing faster than you can help it. 

“ Maker —” You breathe out a puff of air, pressing the palm of your hand to your eyes until you can see stars. “I—I don’t want to do that again. Please don’t—don’t make me do that again. I—I don’t know why I’m—I mean, shit, you were the one with th—the knife in your back.” 

The Mandalorian’s hand drifts down from your elbow to grip your hand in a gloved hand, his filtered voice surprisingly really soft. “I think you’re just tired…. It’s alright.”

A wet sob fights its way out of you. Stars, it’s pathetic. It’s so fucking embarrassing . 

You wipe away your tears angrily with your free hand, a lump forming in your throat as you try to stifle a sob. You just stand there, frustratingly wiping away your tears as they come, sobbing quietly into the palm of your hands. It’s all really caught up to you now. How much the past few weeks—hell, months —really fucked you up. He was right. You were tired. You wanted to go home. You wanted to grieve . 

You suspect he might just leave you there, tell you to at least get some rest before going back up the cockpit to maneuver the ship to Nevarro but he doesn’t. 

The hand that’s holding yours starts to tug you closer, hesitantly and you go willingly, still wiping tears until you’re close enough to wrap your arms around him and bury your face into his good shoulder, letting him soak up your fresh tears. He’s warm without the beskar, and you practically melt into him.

“You haven’t been sleeping?” You shook your head against the soft cloth of his black undershirt running down to cover his arms, now wrapping securely around you, albeit awkwardly like he really didn’t know what to do and was simply improvising. “...It’s okay.” He runs his hand across your back soothingly and you hum softly against his shoulder.

A part of you is surprised at the gentleness in which he handles you, something you only ever see him reserve for the kid, but you can’t bring yourself to pull away. While he never showed any ill intentions towards you, you could never really read him. This was a job. You were a job to him. And he never failed to treat you as such. The things he did, you always assumed, was to benefit him and the kid. Your protection was just a byproduct.  You had no qualms about it, but months on the run, weeks alone, and the uncertainty of it all was getting to you, you admit and you just needed… you needed someone that wasn’t hunting you down or trying to kill you. 

You stay like that until your sobs subside and you’re taking calming breaths against him, his hand lingering . It was nice. This was nice. You turn your face into the crook of his neck, where there’s a spot where a patch of skin is showing. You find yourself wondering what he looked like all of a sudden

Suddenly, a soft cry pierces the silence of the ship and you’re suddenly reminded about where you were.

Slowly, you part. “I’ll get him,” you say with a nod. 

That night, you fall into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

[quetzalpapalotl]

For my like 10 followers that aren't into Transformers, here is a list of things that are totally canon for the IDW Transformers comics (2005-2018):

Two guys had a meetcute in the morgue of an euthanasia clinic because one guy wanted to kill himself and the other was looking for his dissappeared husband among the corpses. They get married. They seemingly don't talk about what they're going to do once they find the second guy's husband that they're still looking for. The suicidal guy has had other 3 husbands but he erased his memory of that because he's bad at dealing with grief.

The suicidal guy's ex (not one of his dead husbands) is the Autobot second-in-command and had a pet mad scientists that made him war crime machines. They ended up invented the concept of having a child, but then the Autobot SIC had the scientist thrown into the torment nexus because he felt bad about doing war crimes and wahted to stop. He didn't actually stop doing war crimes.

Optimus Prime annexes Earth.

A guy invents time travel to save his unrequited crush's life

God is a real person but he's not actually a deity and is currently a therapist whose license was revoked for getting unprofessionally close to his patients. Everyone who knew his license was revoked died so he just kept on practicing.

Optimus Prime pretends to be havig divinely-inspired visions to get out of situations.

Tumblr exists in-universe.

There's a guy named Centurion who was made to think he's Bumblebee because when his ship crashed a scientist brainwashed them into thinking they were classic Transformers characters to see what happens. Thousands of years later he gets involved in human wars and remembers he's not Bumblebee. He develops a self hatred so great he lets a G.I. Joe villian use him for his schemes. Centurion then has his consciousness fused with a human named Mike Power and lives perpetually with the biggest identity crisis of history.

Another guy also had his memories messed with and has lived multiple human lives (he may be Gilgamesh) when he's actually a Transformer secret agent. He's overcoming his own identity crisis through the power of sheer vanity. He also owns the in-universe equivalent of Facebook and Apple.

On at least 3 occasions Transformers used another Transformer's corpse as a vehicle. And on 1 occasion they used a corpse as a replacement limb (the guys alternate mode was a leg)

The Transformers on planet Cybertron at some point forgot that gender is a thing. There are lost colonies from before this so gender is still a thing in those.

One of those cybertronian colonies sends a delegate after millennia of absence and her bodyguard hates the place so much she causes a terrorist attack just as an excuse to go home, people die. The delegate was like "that was bad but we can move past this" and forgives her.

The Decepticons rewired their own soldiers into bombs and dropped them on people.

The Decepticons also rewired Autobots into anti-personnel live mines that would explode when they good too stressed and needed to be handled by people that could defuse them while keeping them calm.

Transformers are allergic to magic.

A guy has a fanzine dedicated to the Autobot Black-ops where he writes fanfiction. It's so popular multiple people are on a mailing list to have it downloaded directly to their brains when a new issue comes out.

A Decepticon's plan to deal with population decline is to make a bunch of organic babies, have them grow up and make more babies and then transplant their souls to Transformers bodies. He got as far as growing one (1) baby. Tbh, you could erase this whole plot and the story wouldn't suffer much.

Starscream who is a backstabbing liar who cares only for himself becomes president. He routinely neglects and endangers the population for his own ends. He was the best leader Cybertron ever had at the time.