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kuroopaisen · 5 years ago

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tiny love || iv

➵ as tooru’s younger sister, falling in love with iwaizumi hajime was easy. iwaizumi ultimately decided to rebuff you. but that was a year ago - things are different now. and you have other things to worry about.

warnings: f!reader

wc: 2.6k

m.list | ch. 3 ↞ ch. 4↠ ch. 5

“Are you sure you’d be okay with that, Tooru?” You asked, trying to keep your voice as normal as possible.

Your heart stuttered in your chest. You were sat on the edge of your bed, phone pressed to your ear and fist twisted up in your sheets. There was a chill in the air that wouldn’t have bothered you under normal circumstances.

But after those words had left your brother’s mouth, something about the room felt sharp.

“I’m the one who suggested it, aren’t I?” Tooru chuckled. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

You bit the inside of your cheek, pain blossoming through the muscle. “I don’t know,” you mumbled. “I just didn’t think you’d be comfortable with me living with one of your friends.”

“Iwa’s a good guy,” he said. You could hear the smile in his voice. “Besides, you guys have known each other for ages. He’ll look after you, I’m sure of it.”

You chewed on your lip for a moment, at a total loss of what to say.

“It’s not like he’s going to try and get in your pants or anything,” Tooru snorted.

Godzilla. The couch in your family’s entertainment room. The warmth of his lips on yours.

But you couldn’t tell Tooru about any of that. Although, the moment he’d suggested you move in with Iwaizumi almost made you crack.

By some stroke of bad luck – or perhaps as the set-up for some cosmic joke – you’d gotten into the same university as the boy you’d been so enamoured with as a seventeen-year-old. And you’d genuinely had no idea.

But it was too late to change your plans. You’d already gotten a scholarship, and you were sure you parents wouldn’t forgive you if you pulled out now. Even if your instincts were telling you to do just that.

“Have you spoken to him about this?” You asked. Perhaps this was your out. If Iwaizumi wasn’t all for it, then there was absolutely no reason for you to agree with it. Right?

“Yeah,” Tooru said. “He’s all for it.”

You frowned. Iwaizumi? Okay with this? Even though he was the one who’d decided that you needed to distance yourselves from each other?

But… it’s been a year. And he’s been a university student living in another country. A lot had probably changed for him.

A lot had changed for you.

And as much as you wanted to deny it, there were benefits to living with Iwaizumi, at least for one semester.

Moving to America is scarier than you’re willing to admit. The thought of living with an unknown roommate in a country you’d never stepped foot in before had kept you up at night a few times.

What if you hated each other? What if something went horribly, terribly wrong and you were left stranded? What if they were a creep?

At least Iwaizumi was a known quantity. One that you hadn’t necessarily left it on terrible terms one; just awkward ones.

“You still there?” Tooru’s voice shocked you back to the present moment.

“Oh, yeah,” you cleared your throat, “is his LINE still the same?”

“Sure is!”

Your throat felt dry. “I’ll call him later.”

You twisted your fists in your bedsheets, a weird knot forming in your stomach.

“Good,” Tooru hummed. “I think it’ll be good for you. You don’t need to be completely alone when you first move over there.”

Guilt twisted in your chest. You knew why he was saying that. He’d told you just how lonely those first few months in Argentina had been.

He didn’t want that for you. That’s why he’d suggested this damn roommates idea.

If only he knew.

“That’d be good,” you said. It wasn’t a lie.

Another thought sat at the back of your throat, forcing its way out.

“Tooru, I… I don’t know if I’m ready for it.”

Your voice was painfully quiet as you finally breathed life into the one fear you didn’t want to admit. You hadn’t even mentioned this to Amaya. But you knew you could trust Tooru with this – perhaps, he might even be able to say something useful.

“You’ll be fine,” he said, his tone as gentle as he could muster. “I didn’t think I was ready, either.”

“I figured,” you grinned. For all his bravado at the airport, a few dozen follow-up phone calls had really sowed that idea in your mind.

Tooru scoffed. “Here I am, trying to be a good older brother—”

“Sorry, sorry,” you laughed. “I appreciate the attempt.”

“You know, you’d think that me moving half way across the world would be enough to get you to finally be nice to me,” Tooru sighed, and you don’t need to see him to know that he was running a hand through his hair dramatically. “But alas… I’m doomed to be mistreated by my very own sister.”

“Have you considered being less dramatic?” You teased. “Then maybe I’d take you a bit more seriously.”

You held the phone away from your ear as Tooru started his tirade,

“If I’m being completely honest,” he said, his tone now much heavier than before, “I thought I was making a big mistake for a second there.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Two weeks in and I wanted to run back home. I wondered if I could really do this.”

A part of your brain told you to be surprised. Another part told you that of course he’d be frightened.

Tooru is just a human, not some superhuman who’s above mortal concerns – no matter how much he tried to hide that fact.

“Turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life.”

A gentle, relieved silence settled between the two of you, the only sound the distant din of traffic from Tooru’s end of the phone.

“I’m glad to hear it,” you murmured. Sincerity was rare between the two of you, but you weren’t about to pretend to be anything but relieved.

“Trust me, it’s going to be fine,” Tooru sighed. “And if it doesn’t end up working out, you’ve still got time. You’re young. And you’ve got a home to go back to.”

You searched for the comfort in those words as best you could. But you couldn’t find any. He hadn’t intended it, but within those words was a little reminder that you might fail. That you might not even come close to the brilliance that is Oikawa Tooru.

“Thanks, Tooru,” if all you could say. He’s just trying to be helpful.

“Besides, if it all goes to shit, you can join me in Argentina!” His voice was a tad more gleeful than you would’ve liked.

“I don’t think I’ll be doing that,” you chuckled.

“Aw,” he whined, “why not?”

“You’d be such a helicopter parent.”

Tooru gasped, the sound piercing over the phone line. “I would not!”

“You would!” You laughed. “You’d meddle in everything?”

“And?” He scoffed. “Is that such a bad thing?”

“Yes!” You protested. “I’m not a child anymore.”

“Ah, well you see,” Tooru tutted. “That’s where you’re wrong. You’ll always be a child to me.”

You rolled your eyes, a comfortable feeling of familiarity settling in your chest. Suddenly, your room doesn’t feel so cold. “I didn’t answer your call just to be coddled.”

“You should be used to it by now.”

“You know, whenever I start to miss you, I’m going to remind myself of this.”

“You are so mean to me!” Tooru wailed.

The bickering went on, an endless cycle of well-worn insults and epithets. But the conversation had to come to an end. You knew you couldn’t put off contacting him any longer.

Eventually you ended the call, holding the phone to your ear for a couple of moments after it was over.

You sighed, letting it drop onto the bed. You flopped back in tandem, staring up at your roof.

Life really was just one big joke, huh?

Although, you wished you understood what the punchline was.

✧ ✧ ✧

You stared at Iwaizumi’s LINE profile a little longer than you should’ve.

It’d been a couple of hours since you’d ended your call with Tooru, and you’d only just worked up the courage.

In your defence, you hadn’t been planning on this. You’d expected to have a very different phone call with a complete stranger, deciding from a handful of phone conversations as to whether or not they were trustworthy enough to live with.

But there you were, about to call The Iwaizumi Hajime.

It’d be fine, right? That little heartbreak had happened well over a year ago now. It’s irrelevant. And you’re well and truly over it.

Not that the thought of calling him didn’t make you feel like you were about to throw up from nerves.

God, why did it feel like you were about to sit an exam?

No, you weren’t going to let your anxiety get the better of you. Not when your education was – sort of – at stake.

With a heavy sigh, you clicked the little call icon and held the phone up to your ear.

The ringing sounded like a death march.

“Hello?” Iwaizumi’s unmistakable voice crackled through your speaker.

Yeah, you definitely felt like you were about to throw up. “Hello.”

The line fell silent.

You bit your lip. Maybe you shouldn’t have done this. Maybe you should’ve just lied and told Tooru that you’d already worked out lodgings. Sure, there’d be a last-minute scramble to get something in place before your parents caught wind of your little lie and—

“How are you?” The words were a little gruff, a little awkward.

This was going to be a very long conversation. You could feel it in your bones.

“I’m alright,” you said, trying to keep your voice as level as possible. “How about you?”

“I’m doing pretty good,” he said. There’s something different about his voice. Maybe it was a little deeper than when you’d last spoken? Or maybe you were imagining it.

Truth be told, you can’t really remember what he sounded like.

“That’s… good to hear,” you said, a paltry attempt at an implied olive branch.

“Yeah, uh…” He cleared his throat. He was probably scratching the back of his neck as he spoke. You hated yourself for even assuming. “Things have been going well.”

A long silence followed. A very painful silence.

A silence, you realised, that you had to break.

“What are you studying?” You asked. A nice, neutral question.

“Exercise science.” The response was immediate. Was that… relief in his voice?

“Oh, really?” You blinked.

“Yeah,” he said. “You sound surprised.”

Your mouth hung open for a moment, searching for a response. But nothing felt adequate enough. Did you really sound surprised? Why did you feel the need to defend yourself?

“I mean I…” You bit your lip, frowning. “I don’t know, I just… wouldn’t have picked that for you.”

Did he just chuckle? You could’ve sworn you heard a chuckle.

“What would you have picked for me, then?” He asked.

“I…” You racked your brain, trying to stitch together all the knowledge you had of the boy – no, the man on the other end of the phone. “I have no idea, actually.”

He distinctively chuckled that time. Damn the swell of pride in your chest.

“Why exercise science?” You asked, genuinely curious.

“It’s the only chance I have of beating Oikawa.”

It’s so instantaneous and ludicrous that you laughed.

“That… doesn’t make much sense, but okay,” you smiled. You were well-aware of the competitive edge that ran through their friendship. Good to see that hadn’t faded, at least.

“You’ll see,” he promised. “Just you wait.”

You chuckled in response as another silence settled over the two of you.

What was there to say? What did you want to say? It’d been so long that you weren’t even sure.

“So…” Iwaizumi said, voice unusually tentative. “Oikawa told me you’re coming out here.”

“Yeah,” you nodded. That’s right. That’s the whole reason you were calling him.

“That’s a big move,” he marvelled, as if he hadn’t done the exact thing he was talking about.

“I know,” you murmured. “I’m kind of scared.”

“What of?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted. Perhaps your lips were looser than they should’ve been. “I just… I’ll be in a whole new country. Alone.”

“I see.” There’s something comforting about his voice. Something stable. He’d always been a good listener, hadn’t he?

“And… it gets more daunting the closer it gets.”

“Mhm.”

“And I’m scared I’ll regret it.” There it was. The one fear that you hadn’t admitted to anyone else – not Amaya, not your parents, not Tooru.

“Why?” Iwaizumi asked.

“I don’t know, I…” You bit your lip, a frown settling on your face.

Now you’d given that fear a voice, you understood it less. Wasn’t the opposite supposed to happen?

“Do you regret moving so far away from home?” You asked.

Iwaizumi wasn’t Tooru. He wasn’t driven by the same insatiability. He had his ambitions, yes, but he didn’t break his back trying to reach for them. Maybe, just maybe, that meant he’d be easier to understand.

“Sometimes,” he admitted.

“Ah.” Not quite the answer you wanted to hear.

“But…” he sighed, “it’s been a good experience.”

“So… a net positive?”

“I’d say so,” he said. “I’ve had a lot of experiences I’m grateful for.”

“Right,” you nodded.

“I heard you got a scholarship,” he said.

“Did Tooru brag about that?” You groaned, running a hand down your face and bending over your knees.

“Sure did,” Iwaizumi chuckled. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” you sighed, biting back the urge to say, ‘it’s not a big deal.’ The last time you’d said that, Amaya had shot you quite the glare.

You swallowed roughly, looking down at your feet.

One deep breath, and it would be time.

“So…” you started, the back of your neck prickling. “Tooru said he’d spoken to you about me… potentially moving in with you?”

“Yeah, he did.”

Ah. Nice and blunt.

“Would you… be alright with that?” You asked, hands a little clammier than before. “I wouldn’t want to impose…”

“Well, I don’t like the idea of just dropping you in America with nowhere to go, so… the offer’s open.”

He sounded honest, at least. Not that you had reason to believe he would be anything but.

“Right,” you nodded. “Thanks.” You licked your lips, trying to stop your nerves from getting the better of you. “I appreciate it,” you added, unsure of how strange that might be to say.

“Not a problem.”

You couldn’t tell if he was lying or not.

“I can send you the information over email,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“The lease and stuff like that. Also, the address so you can actually see where it is.”

“Oh, right…” you swallowed. “Yeah, that’d be useful.”

“Alright, I’ll get that ready for you.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled. “I need to discuss this with my parents, so I’ve got to go…”

“All good,” Iwaizumi said. “Talk to you later.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, lowering the phone from your ear and tapping the red ‘END CALL’ icon.

You tossed your phone at your pillow, watching it land with a muffled ‘thump’. It pinged with a notification – probably Iwaizumi asking for your email, you realised.

Fuck. Shit. Fuck.

You groaned as you flopped back onto your bed for the second time that evening.

What was going on? How had you ended up in this situation? Which cosmic force had it in for you?

Everything was so confusing.

One thing was for certain, though.

Amaya’s going to kill you.

✧ ✧ ✧

a/n: hhhhhh thank you for your kind words about the last chapter! this one is also unbeta’d but Oh Well

#iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi hajime x you #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu x reader #tiny love

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eusuntgratie · 3 years ago

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Weird questions 1, 6, 9, 15, 25, 34 😬😘

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting

I don't care really. I mostly write in google docs which defaults to arial which is like, fine. so i've gotten used to that but i'm not attached. I do tend to prefer san serif fonts on screens, but i'm not picky.

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

oh interesting. i don't have one, i don't think? i'm just vibin' dude <3

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

not ghosts per se, but like, i believe there's stuff out there we can't understand. my mom definitely believes in like, spirits, and has some crazy stories. i feel like i've felt the presence of people who are gone before. i don't know. i could ramble a bit about growing up catholic and my relationship with all of that, too, but i'll spare you - hah!

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

i definitely write, highlight, dogear etc. in nonfiction, or in any kind of book where i'm trying to learn something, take something specific away, etc. i don't usually write in novels, but usually i'm either so sucked in i can't put it down or i just don't read it.

i'm not opposed to reading in the bath but our only bathtub is the kid's which is uh, not a relaxing self-care space HAH. if i have a tub in the new house maybe i can have some chill baths with a book and a glass of wine 🥰

no judgement to how anyone reads - read how it works for you!

and yeah, you're stuck with me, obviously 😘

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

i love this question and my mind has gone totally blank lmao but i feel like i have a lot of these.

okay a random one but Q, my oc in nothing feels better than this, gets fully and completely adopted by the 118. like they're at every bbq, bobby folds them into his little pile of adopted adults, they join a bookclub with karen, maddie gently moms them but only a little, and they're a regular fixture at the diaz house.

the pack sometimes has a huge breakfast over at papa stilinski's house after moon nights in full moon 'verse (aka orgy fic). melissa helps him cook, and chris eventually starts coming too. the pack is always snuggly and tactile, and the sheriff doesn't admit it very much, but he loves having his house absolutely full to bursting with the pack, even though he has to spend about half a paycheck to be able to feed them all.

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

YES

weird writer asks | ask me

#weird writer asks #ask grace #grace writes #lostcol

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juantheashura · 4 years ago

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Any update on the game

Hello, and yes! I'm sorry about the lack of updates first of all, I started a new semester in late May and it's been sucking almost all of my free time.

But, even accounting for that, it's been almost two months since Chapter 3, so I truly am sorry that I haven't finished with Chapter 4.

And while part of that is definitely due to my lack of time, Chapter 4 itself still remains a pretty hefty beast on its own. In comparison with the last two chapters, which were more or less consisting of action, followed by weird midnight ghost visits, followed by more action, Chapter 4 will actually be something of a breather. The player will find themselves with one of the most coveted things in the world of heroes: free time, and a city to explore. With those two things, you will have the option to hang out with a... preferred character, in order to do... things! Maybe friend things! Maybe kissy things! Who knows!

More seriously though, the game consists of 5 Romanceable Characters. While some of those may hang out together, each one does require a particular scene where you can get some "quality bonding" time alone, and going through all of them has taken a bit more time than I thought.

However, I assure you, I'm hard at work on it, and intend to present it as soon as possible for you all to enjoy (preferably by early next month at the latest).

Meanwhile, please have this short teaser of... something:

"Okay, so you're pals, I get that. But what are they like? You think pretty highly of them."

"… I hate the heat. The sweat, the feeling of my clothes sticking to me, the feeling of my hair just crashing down on my face as the temperature rises, the feeling of the hot dirt under me as it moves past my shoes and directly hurts my feet- And yes, I know it's ironic, considering what I always wear, but it's the truth. If I could, I'd live in perpetual rain."

"… That's, uh, not quite what I ask-"

"And even so, saying 'as if the sun itself embraced you' is the only way I can describe them. It's like, they have this kind of radiance within that just comes out in waves, that just makes you want to not give up. To try harder. To demand yourself to be more. Even when the odds seem abysmal, and most have already written you off as dead, you'll somehow come out the other side alright. It's, like, they have this… warmth that just overwhelms you, and it turns that belief of 'we'll find a way' into a knowledge that we absolutely will. They taught me that you can, in fact, jump before you leap. Because it'll be okay, and if it isn't, then, hey, we just have to make it so!"

"Why does it feel like this is the first honest answer you've ever given me?"

"Because it totally is. But seriously, if someone looked at my life story, xxxx, I assure you, they'd find a lot of hardships. But if you asked me? My hardships ended when I met them."

- Excerpts of a particular conversation between two certain individuals on an irrelevant rooftop (May 20, 2020).

(Now look at this cool drawing I commissioned of a character you won't meet until at least 4 chapters from now.)

(No connection to the above.)

(Honest.)

#wip ask #wip update #writing wip #art commisions #foreshadowing

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liathgray · 5 years ago

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im arospec/asexual and i am LIVING for ur aroace ed headcanons how does it feel to have a galaxy brain this is the best shit ever. if you have any more hcs then :eyes: -sgb

*KICKS DOWN YOUR DOOR* GOOD EVENING GAMERS AND GAYS WE HAVE MORE HEADCANONS!!!

- Ed, as a child, totally not understanding why people are so weird about girls. Like. Tf do you MEAN you have a crush on her??

- this evolves into a wittle Child Ed who is very openly affectionate with any and all friends! Particularly Winry cause of course and sadly this is where the teasing starts up

- But lets ignore that! I implore you to imagine a happy, pre-mother-death Ed who can and will tackle-hug someone. Two foot nothing Ed who sees nothing wrong with braiding his friends hair or saying i love you!! YOUNG ED BEING AFFECTIONAT—

- after Trisha passes away he gets more closed off about it though.

- His first exposure to a relationship, well and truly, was Sig and Izumi. And he’s just. ??? Ma’am?? He’s your friend. Yall act like friends. Do you MARRY friends? Help

- years in the military were the strangest cause Ed would get teased CONSTANTLY. Mostly by Havoc

- Havoc you poor poor fool. He is basically canon fodder for Ed’s jokes once he’s out. All those years of being a bit of a ✨dick✨ are earning him a metric fuckton of clowning from Ed

- and theres also the guilting factor. Ed will bring up all those times whenever he wants shit. Havoc, your penance walk shall never cease.

- Ed never actually tells Pinako. She wasn’t present for when he was like “oh guess what” to his other friends. He mentions it briefly and she freezes up for a sec before like. EXPLODING. “??? For how long??” “Why didnt you tell me??”

- Ed, very slowly, very awkwardly infoms that “I uh thought you already knew...?”

- Riza and Ed have had long ass talks before basically complaining about how high on a pedestal people put romance and sexual relationships. Friendships are just as important! These conversations always end with them doing book trades of completely irrelevant things.

- On extra wild nights, Sheska joins in Oh heres my ace lesbian sheska headcanon and they’ve now all read her favourite adventure book and are strangely drawn to the band of misfits who come together... odd..

#IM MAD WITH POWER #yall are giving me so muc freedom with this #im projecting. no i didnt. yes i did❤️#guess who realized their also arospec via doing these headcanons 😎#party time huh #headcanons #fma #fmab #i need a tag for asks so bam #anon #sgb anon #BIRDS I LOVE YOU SO DMAN MUCH!!!!#acearo ed #edward elric #fullmetal alchemist

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synesindri · 5 years ago

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some musings on shipping culture

just to get this out of the way: this post is prompted by things i have seen people say and reblog recently about a variety of ships and fandoms, some of which i have been in, some of which i have not. it is not directed at any individual in particular.

i am also not upset. how other people like to enjoy fandom is interesting to me but ultimately it’s totally irrelevant to how i like to enjoy fandom. in fact, my apathy about other people’s favorite ships is a major reason i am curious about how some people respond to each other/canon/whatever.

the main question is: why do people care what other people ship and why they ship it?

here’s what i got. this list is not ordered by importance.

1) purity culture

tbh i am kind of burnt out with thinking about purity culture. probably a lot of reasons are somewhat related to purity culture, but i don’t want to get into whether or not it’s ok for people to ship stuff they wouldn’t condone in reality (although for the record, if you couldn’t tell, my opinion is: ship literally whatever you want). so, moving on.

2) whether or not ships are likely to become canon

a lot of the time, this debate gets avoided either because none of the ships being argued over are likely ever to become canon, or because one of them is almost definitely going to become canon. sometimes it’s an argument about which relationship is more important, whether romantic or not (two examples: 1) most wincest shippers understand that sam and dean were never going to kiss on the mouth on tv, but are very invested in the brothers’ relationship being the central relationship in the show regardless. 2) debates over whether elsa in frozen should have a girlfriend or stay single).

much of the time, people get passionate about ships going canon because of issues of representation. wanting the queer ship; wanting the ship involving at least one character from an underrepresented group; wanting the ship that resonates with some meaningful experience much of the audience can relate to. that’s all cool. i get all of that. i don’t personally have many feelings about ships i like going canon because that’s not really part of the experience for me, but i understand why it’s appealing to others.

i do not, however, understand why some people whose ships might become canon care about telling people whose ships are never going to become canon that their ships are, uh, never going to become canon. like, in my experience, usually people who ship a never-going-to-be-canon ship know that it’s never going to be canon, and while they might be salty about it, they aren’t claiming that their thing is going to be what happens in canon. i get why never-going-to-be-canon shippers might get pissy at might-be-canon shippers because it sucks to “lose,” or because often (not always) might-be-canon ships are very popular comparatively and it can get tiresome to see your fandom dominated by something you don’t like/care about. but why do fans of popular (might-be-)canon ships get pissy about fans of never-gonna-be-canon ships, within fandom spaces?

a lot of this tension might be because of fandom dominance wars, rather than canon dominance wars. the never-gonna-be-canon shippers might feel that the might-be-canon shippers are dominating fandom spaces, but the might-be-canon shippers might feel that the never-gonna-be-canon shippers are dominating canon spaces. often when this happens both ships take up a lot of fandom space regardless of which takes up more, and might in fact be equally popular. so this might be just misperceptions about relative popularity, and feeling like your ship is being attacked/ignored disproportionately in the fandom when in reality it isn’t. i have definitely seen this sort of attitude from warring flagship supporters many a time.

but ok, to come back to why might-be-canon shippers make arguments against never-gonna-be-canon shippers based on likelihood of canonization: why? i don’t get it. i’ve seen this happen even with people who ship fully realized canon relationships arguing against people who ship fully non-canon relationships. why?

my instinct is to think that last one is a sore winner thing. like, you won dude. good for you. take your winnings and let everybody else lick their wounds/carry on with their own preferences in peace. i’m even inclined to think that canon shippers as a rule should ignore most baiting by non-canon shippers because losers should be allowed to be little a bitter, as a treat. but at this point, i realize that i have just made a claim about how people should act in fandom, and who am i to say that? no one. so: never mind. and it might not be a gloating thing anyway.

another piece of evidence i see people bring up in these arguments is about basis in canon, rather than likelihood of canonization. that seems like another major point, so let’s move on to that.

3) basis in canon

whether or not a ship is likely to become canon, there are lots of conversations about which ships make the most sense given evidence from the canon.

i, being a massive slut for characterization, get this sort of. usually even when i enjoy crack ships i want to make them work with textual evidence somehow. i personally just think it’s more satisfying to figure out how two characters might have met and what would have appealed to them about each other to lead them to connect/date/bang/whatever, even if it never happened and never will happen and nobody would even think about the pairing unless either they were trying to be funny or they were really far down a rabbit hole. that’s my own geeky cross to bear.

i don’t get why “basis in canon” makes any ship better than any other ship though. sometimes a ship is within reach of canon characterization/story, and the work to go from non-canon to canon is suuuper minimal. these ships make sense pretty much as they are. that’s cool! such ships are usually popular for a reason: they appeal to a lot of fans of the canon because not a lot has to be done to the source material to make it work. often, the more you have to modify/do interpretation footwork, the more people’s interesting is going to drop off because you’re getting further from the source, and the source is why everyone is here in the first place. (some fandoms are of course exceptions to this.)

but why is closer-to-canon better? sometimes the work to get from canon to a far-from-canon ship is really clever, and does actually make a lot of sense if you follow the reasoning. sometimes far-from-canon ships are satisfying in a way other closer-to-canon ships aren’t (at least to some people). sometimes far-from-canon ships allow for creativity that closer-to-canon ships don’t. sometimes the appeal of far-from-canon ships is none of that, and it’s purely because the ship is sexy, or it’s controversial, or it’s weird, or people have gotten tired of the fandom flagships and they’re looking for something new.

i don’t understand why any of that is worse than the reasons for shipping something with “more basis in canon.”

personally, i get tired of fandom flagships in most of the fandoms i’ve been in very quickly. furthermore, i lose interest in ships almost immediately if/when they become canon. that’s not a value judgment; it’s just a pattern in my own preferences that i’ve observed from 15+ years of fandom involvement. i enjoy having to work in the murky waters farther from canon to justify my weird little ships. i find the moment of canonization exciting and satisfying (and sometimes emotional and vindicating), but i do not enjoy watching people actually being in romantic relationships very much (part of this is probably due to the fact that i personally do not enjoy being in romantic relationships very much). i also just tend to enjoy elements of ships that a lot of people find off-putting, but this is going back to purity culture and, again, i don’t want to get into that. these preferences reliably lead me away from close-to-canon ships and fandom flagships.

(just to be clear: i’m not being attacked. i do not feel attacked. i'm just using myself as a rhetorical example here.)

does this make my taste in ships bad? i don’t know what "bad taste in ships” means, but if you’re going to say that my taste is bad, i’m going to want you to justify it.

does it make my taste in ships stupid? well, sure, i do like stupid shit sometimes. but i also feel that it would be strange, if not flat-out incorrect, to claim that my taste in off-norm ships is not thoughtful. i think about many of my far-from-canon ships a lot — often, i think about them a lot before i start shipping them/see anyone else ship them, and i decide i like the characters together because i’ve come at it from a character analysis perspective. i have liked ships for some extremely nerdy reasons. a lot of people who like far-from-canon ships get there because they like thinking about characterization and plot and symbolism. to be completely honest, i often end up liking rarepairs in part because the people who end up liking rarepairs often have higher overall intellectual skill and desire to think about things extensively on average than fans of fandom flagships do on average. so, is liking far-from-canon ships stupid? that’s subjective. is it unintelligent? probably not.

is enjoyment of these ships dumber when people don’t get there through a lot of analysis, or when they don’t try to justify their enjoyment once they’ve decided they like a ship? i have seen extremely well-written, clever, extensively researched fic about pairings the author had no interest in justifying, and imo that’s just as intellectually motivated as analysis about why the ship makes sense. so, i would say, no.

is it bad to ship stuff and have no intellectual interest in it all? i mean, everyone can have whatever opinion about this, but in my opinion, no. this is fandom. this is for fun-having. i’m a nerd, but not everybody has to be a nerd. sometimes i like to read stuff that is not nerdy, that just shows me something comforting or new or evocative and doesn’t ask me to care about how we’ve gotten there. i might care anyway, but that’s on me, and it doesn’t make my enjoyment better than the enjoyment of someone who doesn’t want to overthink it.

finally, even if a ship having no basis in canon does make it worse somehow, who cares? what is the point of arguing over ship quality, of all things? is it just elitism? is it defensiveness against criticism of fan work being inferior to original work? is it a desire for everything to make sense, paired with a belief that people prefer things that make the most sense? if anybody has read this far and has insight into this, please tell me. i see this so often, and it baffles me every time. i don’t really want to agree, but i want to understand.

so, i don’t quite get this one. i get parts of it, but overall, i don’t get it.

4) i don’t have a number 4. i put a number 4 when i started writing this post but i think i covered what i was going to say here in points 1-3. alternatively i forgot my 4th point in which case RIP.

if you read this far, i apologize for the messy organization. i wrote this primarily to sort out my own thoughts. i’m not sure it helped, but it was something to do for an hour XD

#please don't reblog #(idk why anyone would but)#(i am happy to chat though! i am genuinely interested! my questions are not rhetorical)#further disclaimer: none of this is about my current main fandom which seems blessedly tolerant compared to many fandoms #i say things

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even-if-in-another-time · 4 years ago

Note

1, 4, 7, 12, 30, and (forgot the number) what are your biggest insecurities?

ooooh! okay okay-

oof i copy and pasted it which is probably why it’s formatted so weirdly but whatever

1- i honestly don’t mind much, but i‘ll say that i won’t share my exact age on the iNtErNeT- so i’ll just say i’m not in high school yet lol

4- i mean, the thing is, i can’t claim to be extremely politically educated- most of my political views are the same as my parents and family, right now. but- i’m going to define it badly, but generally, i’m pretty leftist, in the sense that i support lgbtqia+ rights (of course), am an advocate for the environment, etc, etc. i’m sorry that summary sucked it’s only 12 am and i’m already tired help

7- nope. lol

12- ahhhhh that’s hard…? okay i’d really have to think about thattt-

okay this is probably bending the question, but in a way, i feel like i’m more connected to my friends than i am to my family. so… i know its a weird answer to say the friendship between bow, adora, and glimmer from she-ra?

also i’m a total third wheel i’m pretty sure two of my friends are married now anyways

30- to my knowledge, i’m not, and i’m really grateful for that, in the sense that i’ve never struggled with depression or anything similar.

46- i think… my main biggest insecurity is the thought of being less intelligent than the people around me. i’ve grown up always feeling like i was… it sounds so annoying and stupid and brag-y to say it, but i guess feeling… more intelligent than my peers, in a lot of ways. and when there were times that i was going through a lot, i feel like i relied on it. and now, where i feel like i’m at a point where i feel stupid and irrelevant compared to other people my age, i think i was so used to being on a pedestal, always the “gifted kid”, the one who in the idiotic fourth grade hierarchy was the one who everyone wanted to be friends with, the one who was the supposed example for everyone else, that i- mainly last year was when i was struggling the worst with it- had a ton of trouble with feeling like i was irrelevant to everyone else. it sounds gross and narcissistic and weird, but- i don’t know. i’m trying to be more conscious about what i was going through, and… yeah.

okay i really didn’t need to share that much but uh. okay um anyways

#ask games #aves gets an ask

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fanfic-inator795 · 5 years ago

Text

Oneshot: Movies and Mermaids

((Have some Mikey and Draxum bonding *throws confetti*))

It wasn’t as if Draxum had any genuine interest in human culture, certainly not! He could care less! ...Though, his obvious lack of caring didn’t prevent certain annoyances.

Like how he would be sometimes be completely lost in certain conversations. A member of the faculty at the high school would ask if he had seen the latest film in theaters and if he liked it better than the remake, or how his fellow lunch servers would reference certain shows and encourage him to watch them as well - Gladys especially seemed entranced with a show regarding doctors all dating each other in-between doing their actual jobs, for whatever reason.

The rest of the city seemed to only aggravate him more. From displays and the videos that would play on the large screens on towers, to the advertisements he saw on the television box or in magazines. It just seemed like everything he saw in human culture was a reference to something or someone - a laundry list of names and shows and movies and jokes and even what were supposedly ‘simple’ concepts like technology and brands and lingo and-!

After over two months of living on the surface, Draxum had reached his limit. He was tired of constantly being confused. He was tired of constantly missing or misunderstanding the references.

He was tired of being reminded that this was not his world, that he was still a yokai in human clothing.

So naturally, as a man of science, Draxum thought it only made sense to start with some research. Granted there was an entire pantheon that he would have to go through, and without the power of the ‘internet’ and a television box that only had five channels, it would be a incredibly slow process... At the very least, O’Neil had said that she would help him get a human library card when they both had a free afternoon.

In the meantime, Michelangelo had plenty of ‘reference material’, and even with the insistence that this was all for education and NOT entertainment, Draxum figured it was as good of a starting point as any, considering how much the humans seemed to admire their on-screen stories and their film stars. (No wonder Lou Jitsu was just as popular as an actor as he was as a warrior...)

It was late Friday night when Mikey showed up to Draxum’s apartment with a backpack full of movies of all different genres and formats and a VHS/DVD combo player tucked under his arm. “Good thing Donnie found this thing a few years ago, huh?” he said as he hooked it up.

Draxum didn’t bother replying. Instead, he was focusing on his choices for that evening - as well as for the rest of the week, since Mikey said he could borrow them as long as he needed to - pulling out each tape or DVD case and examining it carefully. Quite a few of them looked like they were for children, which he probably should have expected, though he didn’t dismiss them immediately.

“Don’t worry,” he heard Mikey said, “I remembered what you said. All of these are super popular ‘staples of human culture’ that practically everyone’s seen.”

“Good,” Draxum mumbled, putting aside a movie about a boat next to a movie about a boy gardener who wore a cloak and was apparently very harry. Picking up the next one, his expression flattened a bit at the cover. “This one you can take back, I don’t need to watch it.”

“Huh? Why- ohhh.” The box turtle chuckled as he took the tape, smiling at the younger version of his dad on the box. “Sorry, guess that one accidentally got slipped in there. Though to be fair, ‘Jitsu for Justice’ is a total classic.”

“Irrelevant,” Draxum huffed, “I have no desire to watch ANY of Lou Jitsu’s films, no matter how popular they may be. Once was more than enough...”

“Alright alright, I’ll- wait,” Mikey paused, “so you DID watch his movies?”

“Er, I- Not because I actually wanted to!” Draxum told him, “It was for research!” Mikey gave him a flat look. “He had stopped fighting in the Battle Nexus and I needed to study his moves! I-I didn’t enjoy doing it, if that’s what you’re implying! His movies were still ridiculous and completely unenjoyable! I would never actually-”

“Whatever you say, man,” Mikey shrugged, ignoring the Baron’s growls at being interrupted, “Though, how’d you watch ‘em anyway? I didn’t think that TV was that big of a thing down there?”

“I used my viewing orb to summon and display them, obviously,” Draxum told him, “Most yokai have them for when they need them, and they’re much more useful and clearer than any television box.”

“If you say so...” “Hmph.” With that settled, Draxum went back to digging through the bag of movies. It didn’t take long for another video to catch his eye, this one in a plastic case rather than a cardboard one, with a picture of a happy mermaid and an equally happy human plastered on it.

“Awwww!” Mikey said suddenly, “That was April’s favorite movie when she was little! Which meant it was one of the first movies she brought over to share with us! Heh, guess we borrowed it so often we forgot to give it back, whoops. But it’s a really good movie! See, there’s this mermaid who wants to live on land as a human, and she’s friends with a crab and-”

Draxum had begun to tune the turtle out as he continued to stare at the VHS case. Mermaids weren’t too common in the Hidden City itself, though that didn’t mean they weren’t there at all. The city was next to water, after all, and some would live on the shore or become part of an air-boat crew - and they certainly didn’t look like this.

He felt his thoughts start to swirl, becoming just as mixed as his emotions as a grimace began to form on his face. On one hand, Draxum supposed he should’ve been grateful that the humans were portraying a yokai positively - as cute and friendly instead of vicious creature that lived to drown humans.

Centuries ago, before the Great Migration underground, Draxum had heard that and many other similar claims about his people... Baseless claims meant to justify hunts and attacking on sight...

On the other hand, did humans only see them as ‘harmless’ when used for entertainment purposes? Did they only approve of yokai existing when they only existed in fiction, where they could be used however humans saw fit?

He was briefly reminded of the creatures - the ‘poke-o-mon’ - that he would occasionally see on shirts or on phones, creatures not directly based on yokai, but similar enough. He had to wonder how much other human entertainment was based on so-called fictional creatures and monsters that they never would have even smiled at before.

“-xum... Hey, Drax?” Mikey poked his bicep, making Draxum flinch. “You okay, bud-?”

“Fine,” Draxum snapped, though there was a little actual bite to it, “Just surprised that humans would portray a yokai so positively, even in fiction.”

“Most humans do think they’re just fiction,” Mikey told him. After a moment, his tone became a bit gentler, thinking back to certain points brought up by his father and April. “Though, I can still sorta see why that would feel weird or kinda insulting, seeing a fake version of yourself or your people and not knowin’ how they’d react to the real you, wondering if they would only like the fake you. That probably doesn’t feel the greatest... and I’m really sorry about that.”

Draxum blinked. He stared at the turtle for a few seconds before finally replying with, “You’re a lot more introspective than I would have thought.”

“I get that a lot,” Mikey grinned, “But hey, they don’t call me Dr. Feelings for nothing. So, did you wanna keep this one then, or- I mean, I can understand if-”

Draxum stopped him, looking at the tape again. “...I am admittedly curious,” he said, “You did say this was a movie humans watch as children.” Studying a species’ influences during adolescence could prove to be pretty useful in understanding the adults. “And besides, if the portrayal is truly offensive, I can always send a complaint to this ‘Walt Disney’ and demand certain edits.”

“Riiiiight, though I don’t think you’ll be too mad at this one,” Mikey told him, “Ariel is a great character, and all the other mermaids in the movie aren’t portrayed as jerks or anything. ...Well, one guy kinda is but, uh-”

“Let’s just watch it already,” Draxum told him, shoving the tape into his hand, “The sooner we start it, the sooner I can gauge whether or not it’s actually worth watching.”

Mikey smirked a little. “Heh, alright.” Opening the case, he pushed the tape in while Draxum went over to the couch they had gotten him at the thrift store, briefly checking it for bugs or lumps before sitting down. “Good thing it’s already rewound.”

The only annoying thing about that was that they had to sit through previews, though Mikey used that time to cook up some popcorn kernels that he had snagged on the way out of the Lair, easily cooking it using a pan and the stove top. (No one trusted Draxum with a microwave after That One Time.)

By the time he finished, the movie’s title had just faded onto the screen. Mikey smiled widely, the nostalgia from the music and the memories he had with the movie sending slight shivers up his shell.

Draxum, meanwhile, was watching the film intently, taking in every detail. The mermaids in the film were still completely different than actual mermaids, but at least they weren’t an insulting caricature (even if they were a bit too human-like for his liking).

As it turned out, the main mermaid character was not only a bit of a collector and explorer, but also a human fanatic. “Ugh,” Draxum grumbled as he grabbed a couple more pieces of the puffed-up corn-snack. Mikey gave him a bit of a look, but he ignored it. Just because he had been able to find a bit of common ground and comradery with his fellow lunch servers didn’t mean he was willing to give ALL humans a pass.

At least the mermaid’s father seemed to have some common sense. In fact, Draxum found himself nodding in agreement with nearly every scene the mer-king was in. ...Up until a certain point, at least.

Mikey winced a bit as the scene began. He resisted the urge to go into his shell like he always had when he was little, but he did sink a little in his seat as Triton stepped out of the shadows. When he noticed Draxum glancing over at him, Mikey simply mumbled, “I always hate this scene...”

A couple minutes and a destroyed grotto later, and Draxum could sort of see what Mikey meant, understanding how Triton’s act might have been “harsh”, as the orange-wearing turtle would’ve put it.

As the movie moved onto the next seen, Mikey relaxed a little, though a frown remained on his face... However, his expression of sadness soon became one of confusion as he felt a hand pat the top of his head.

“Uh... there, there,” Draxum mumbled, giving Mikey one more head-pat before retracting his hand. It was awkward as all heck, they both knew it, but seeing the sheepman somewhat care about his feelings still made Mikey smile.

It didn’t take much longer for Ursula to make her appearance, and as soon as the Sea Witch began talking of deals and trades, Draxum gave a small smirk of his own.

“What?” Mikey asked, tilting his head a bit.

“I didn’t realize Big Mama was in this movie.”

Mikey snorted at that. “So what, you tell jokes now?”

The sheep-man shrugged as he grabbed another handful of popcorn. “Just making an observation,” he said simply. As the scene went on though, his mind made another small connection - Ursula’s two eels reminding him of his own pair of pets, even if Flotsam and Jetsam were much more confident than his former goyles.

Even so, the reminder made his chest ache a little... Not in sadness, mind you, or because he actually missed them. No, clearly his chest ached for a completely different reason that he was sure he’d think of later.

Once the little mermaid made the contract and silenced herself, the film very much became a literal ‘fish out of water’ story, complete with plenty of amusing moments featuring misunderstandings and an over-abundance of cuteness, as well as another musical number. Thankfully, before things became too saccharine, Ursula launched the second half of her plan to rule the seas.

After that, the movie moved pretty quickly through its third act. Draxum was a bit annoyed at the human prince being the one to ultimately save the day in the end, but overall he could agree that the ending was a pretty happy one.

As the credits rolled, Mikey looked at him with eyes wide. “Sooooo, what do you think?”

Draxum cupped his chin in thought, staying silent for a few moments before finally speaking. “...If the king’s trident had the power of transformation, why didn’t he just turn the prince into a merman?”

Mikey’s face fell. “...That’s what you got out of it?”

“It’s a valid question!” Draxum argued, “Why should she have to be the one to transform?”

“Because she wasn’t just after the guy!” Mikey told him, resisting the urge to facepalm, “You saw her collection and heard her song, she wanted to be human! She was tired of bein’ stuck in the same ocean and wanted something new - something she thought was cool!”

“Hmph, I suppose that’s true... Plus, she still has the option to turn back into a mermaid later on thanks to her father’s power, so at least there’s that.”

The box turtle slumped back on the couch, disappointed though maybe not too surprised. “I guess that means you didn’t really like it, huh?”

There was a long moment of silence. “I didn’t completely agree with the ending but... the film overall wasn’t too bad,” Draxum conceded, “Not as bad as I thought it’d be, at least?”

“...You really mean that?” Mikey asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I wouldn’t waste my time lying about something as trivial as animated human-entertainment,” Draxum replied, “And... there were high production values. Characters were mostly understandable, and it was... cute. Not too annoying or insufferable. Even if it was still slightly inaccurate to actual mermaids and mermen.”

“...You know what, I’ll take it. And I’m glad you enjoyed the movie, and not just for my sake.” With a bit of a ‘whup’, Mikey sat up and tucked his legs under his body in a sort of lotus position. “Though, now I’m kinda curious. What’d the movie get wrong, and what else can you tell me about merpeople? I only ever saw one, on Hueso’s brother’s ship, but that was only for like a second.”

This time, it was Draxum’s turn to give him a look. “Really... The child who’s always pushing me to ‘embrace humans’ and hide my ‘mystic stuff’ is asking me to teach him about a member of Yokaikind?”

“Hey, I only to tell you to hide your mystic stuff so you don’t get yourself evicted, fired or arrested,” Mikey retorted, “I’m not the one goin’ around mutatin’ kids and/or lunches and making giant stone heads angry.”

“...Fair enough,” Draxum said, only slightly reluctant.

“But as far as I can figure, there’s no harm in just talking about mystic stuff. And as for my actual interest... Yeah, I really do wanna know.” Unable to help himself, Mikey directed his gaze towards the floor - down towards the Hidden City that he knew was there. That he only now knew was there.

He wouldn’t have traded his life with his dad in the sewers of NYC for anything, but he would’ve been lying if he said there wasn’t a small part of him that wondered what it would’ve been like to grow up around people that looked like him in a city full of magic.

“We protect humans, but we don’t like only humans, you know,” Mikey continued, “We’ve got other mutant friends, and yokai friends too.” His smile softened. “Senor Hueso and Sunita and the chefs I’ve met at Run of the Mill, they’re all so amazing. And I’ve only seen, like, a fraction of the Hidden City but I know that’s amazing too, and I just... This city - the surface - is always gonna be my home, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about the other city or wonder about it.”

He finally looked back at Draxum, his eyes firm. “So yeah... I wanna know.”

There was another moment of silence between them, though within it, the slightest bit of connection was formed. Small and fragile, but no less noticeable.

“...Fine,” Draxum finally agreed, “But pay attention, I don’t want to repeat myself later. First off, no merperson has the same skin tone as a human. They range between greens, blues and grays to help blend in with oceans. Their eyes are also much wider than a human’s to help them hunt.”

“Makes sense to me!” Mikey smiled, leaning back on his hands a little, though looking no less attentive. Even when the TV turned to quiet static, he kept his focus right on Draxum - a gesture the former warrior-scientist certainly appreciated, even if he didn’t say so outright.

“Merpeople are also able to survive outside of water. While mobility becomes an issue depending on how often they’re moving or traveling, they have no issues living on land - hence why some take to living on air-boats as a sort of compromise, plus it helps them travel across bodies of water in a shorter amount of time. They also don’t eat humans, despite the lies told about them, though they can be territorial when they are in the water - although you can’t blame them, especially if fish start to become scarce. Furthermore-”

It was sort of nice... Sure, Mikey had plenty he wanted to show and teach Draxum about humankind - and if all went well, then maybe there was a chance of Draxum having a change of heart. Maybe their technical creator wasn’t totally evil, and maybe one day, he really would be a better person and would understand what he and his family already knew. Mikey certainly hoped that would end up being the case...

But, in the meantime, maybe Mikey would end up learning a little from Draxum too. And honestly, as long as it wasn’t lecture series about ‘effectively destroying humans’ or anything like that, the orange turtle didn’t see anything wrong with that at all.

THE END

#rottmnt #baron draxum #michelangelo tmnt #oneshot #my writing #fanfiction #had this idea for a while #finally finished writing it out

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musedblues · 5 years ago

Text

Always Something There To Remind Me [Part: 4]

summary: Home is where the heart is. You’re working on finding yours. After a handful of misfortunes, your old friend Joe helps to unravel life’s greatest mystery while adding a bit of extra grief to the mix.

warnings: Some fun, a little angst, and a whole lot of mixed feeling!

w/c: 6k

a/n: We’ve reached the halfway mark of this story! I hope you enjoy this update. Let me know what you think, lovies!

taglist: @im-an-adult-ish @mrsmazzello @lettinggosthehardestpart @the-moving-finger-writes @imtheinvisiblequeen

Part 5

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

The spring was blossoming to life and after your fair share of sulking, you went on the hunt for a job. Funeral expenses and travel had cleaned out your account, and you needed income. In the local mall, you scored part-time at a tiny flower shop. A lovely couple of old men owned the place and handled deliveries, insisting your only job was to sit behind the register and wait for customers to buy something.

There were plenty of shoppers, but even more spare time to listen to podcasts and text Tegan. You were in the middle of sending your friend photos of the floral arrangement one of your bosses let you mess around with over lunch break, when a familiar voice floated past your counter.

“Oh my God!”

Lacy Duval was standing in front of you with a strangely excitable grin and a perfect ponytail flowing from underneath a Yankees ballcap. Oh my God was right.

“Hello, Lacy.” You gave her a cagey smile. There was no reason not to be polite, but something about the girl really got under your skin.

“I saw you here on my way to Urban Outfitters and I couldn’t not say hello.” The girl was pretty. It almost blinded you to look right at her. But she’d taken to leaning against the counter to shove her smile in your face.

“Well, hello.” You offered once more. “Please, don’t let me get in the way of your shopping.” You nearly plead, glancing past her, willing another customer to show up.

“Oh, no I work at Urban. I totally don’t mind clocking in a few minutes late.” Lacy giggled like this was some kind of big, secret, inside joke. You only let out a very nervous chuckle, afraid if you opened your mouth again you would be a little too rude. Lacy leaned against your register for five solid minutes, gabbing on about the mall and the people she worked with and how she’d never see you here before. All while looking over her shoulder and around yours, like she had somewhere better to be. That’s what stopped you from dropping your guard and actually listening to what Lacy had to drone on about.

She left with a reluctant sigh and you wondered how she justified talking to you for so long with absolutely nothing to say. You shook it off in a hurry, going back to your texts with Tegan and selling a few promposal bouquets near the end of your shift.

Except after then, something horrific happened. For the next two weeks, Lacy kept coming in to say hello. Every. Single. Day. She even learned your schedule and made a habit of stopping in to greet you before her shifts across the mall started. And for a while, you didn’t totally mind the tradition. She kept it up so long, with a pleasant smile. She must have really wanted to talk to you, right? But by her fifth visit, her all too obvious intentions were finally brought to light.

“So how’s Joe, then?” Lacy kept her smile wide and her eyes glued on yours.

“Oh, you know, some kind of superstar.” You half-joked, almost through your teeth. Joe was off with his castmates, winning awards and attending red carpet parties. You couldn’t have been happier for him. He deserved a bit of fun after the winter was so cruel. You just didn’t like that Lacy was asking.

“He’s always been popular but he’s properly famous now, isn’t he?” Lacy pointed out, giddy. “Every time I post a photo with him I swear I gain at least a hundred more followers!” She practically swooned.

It took every ounce of your strength not to throw your head back and groan out loud. Yeah, he was an actor. Yeah, he was good- and recognized for it. You’d had this conversation more times with more people than you ever really realized was possible. And if ever he dared mention your old pal, Kris always referred to Joe as “that famous friend of yours.” Was Joe’s celebrity really all that mattered to anyone? What about his favorite Chinese food, or his theory about the end of Easy Rider? He was a motherfucking person.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get much worse, it got so much worse.

You had just closed up shop, paying no mind to the last-minute mall rats who still bustled around the other open storefronts. Before you could make your way too far past the flower shop, someone tapped you on the shoulder.

It was Joe, who proceeded to wrap you in a big hug the moment you registered his surprise presence.

He was gone for what felt like longer than ever before, but he looked way more happy to see you now, than the last time you reunited. You threw your arms around his shoulders and he lifted you off the ground for a moment, exchanging merry hello’s.

“Alright, alright! We have a guest.” Joe set you back on your feet, gesturing to a very tall and happy looking fellow you recognized from many photos.

“Gwilym.” You proudly smiled up to him, confirming you knew of him well enough to be happy to see him here now.

“Y/n!” He pointed at you, as if this meeting were a long time coming.

Joe went on to explain how Gwilym had been staying with him the past couple of days after all the press tours and premiers were over. And how they drove all the way back here to Joe’s measly hometown because his mother insisted they both stop over for brunch, so she could get the chance to see Joe’s friend. Apparently, she adored Gwilym. You could see why, even just having met the guy, he oozed a certain gentle charm.

Joe knew to find you here at the mall, because you’d kept up your promise of sending the occasional text message update when something more than mundane happened in each of your lives. You listened to him and Gwilym yammer on about how exciting the past couple of months had been for them, taking a beat to notice how good Joe looked. There was a light in his eyes you hadn’t seen since you’d been back in the states.

And then you saw her. Lacy was leaving her shift down the way. You watched her realize just exactly who was talking to you, stop, and turn in a very big hurry in your direction.

“Joey!” She shrieked, rushing up to your best friend. Gwilym was practically shoved aside by the girl on her mission to invade Joe’s personal space. What was even more unsettling was how Joe seemed glad to see her. He pulled her into a friendly embrace that she squealed during. Even though you and Gwilym had just met, the two of you shared a befuddled expression trying to reason why you’d both been left on the sidelines all of a sudden.

Even when Joe pointed to Gwilym, introducing the strangers to each other, Lacey didn’t dare turn her gaze from Joe. She didn’t miss a beat as she went on saying;

“I’m so glad you’re here! So listen, my sisters are throwing this big party and I promised them I’d get you to come. I wanna show you off!” Lacy swayed in place, looking up to Joe through her fake lashes.

“Oh, wow uh sure, when is it?” Joe smiled, pulling his phone from his pocket as you crossed your arms, realizing you were invisible to her now. Lacy gave Joe the details and had the nerve to sweep her eyes over you as she skipped away. What the fuck? She’d spent all month popping in to “say hello” to little old you, but now that Joe was around you’d become irrelevant. She was only trying to get to Joe and you knew it all along, but you were still fuming at her disregard for you during the past couple minutes.

“That was weird.” Joe realized with a shrug, watching Lacy walk away. You knew if you responded you’d only blow a gasket, and luckily Joe was interested in moving on. Gwilym stood watching on in near comical horror as Joe snapped everyone back to business.

“Alright, listen this is very important.” Joe grabbed your shoulders, wearing another hopeful grin. “I want you to come back and stay with us, this weekend. But the thing is you need to say yes right now, cause we’ve got to leave right now.” Joe nodded. You realized he was serious or he wouldn’t have tracked you down at the mall, with the excitable, dashing Gwilym in tow.

///

Gwilym was put to work charming the socks off your mother as Joe raced you up the stairs to help pack your bags. He was desperate to make it to some very specific pizza place before it closed for the night. You just laughed as he threw your clothes into an old JanSport, before stealing it from his grasp to finish packing your thing; full of mostly new clothes you splurged on with your first big paycheck. As you packed them to wear, you felt strangely like life was finally taking a turn for the better.

When you scurried back down the stairs, Gwilym had managed to make a cup of tea and was busy trading some recipe with your mother who was sad to see him go. Joe rushed the pair of you out the door and off onto an adventure.

Gwilym insisted you take the passenger seat on the way to the city and begged you to expose the depths of your Spotify playlist, from the back. The car ride was spent laughing about the musical phases you’d all gone through, and rocking out to the classics everyone loved.

“Hey, this is fun.” It hit you as you gazed at the cars zooming past the speed limit on either side of the freeway, and you didn’t feel usually dreadful. You let the comment slip out without thinking about it, without thinking of Gwilym in the back who might have wondered why you’d be shocked to find a road trip suddenly appealing.

But Joe knew, and he smiled as if to disguise a frown. He seemed to get this same strange look on his face when you even slightly alluded to your recent past.

“John told me what happened, why didn’t you?” Joe asked, quietly, worriedly.

Oh, yeah. Your car slid off the road last month.

“I didn’t want to make a big deal about it.” You shrugged, almost too much like a little kid. But you caught a glimpse of Gwilym in the back, pretending not to notice the shift in conversation. So you reached to turn the music up, and Joe reached for your hand.

Then you all declared this weekend was to be dedicated to nothing but having fun.

///

You made it to the city in time to hurry into Joe’s favorite pizza place an hour before closing, where you and Gwilym played the basic twenty questions of getting to know each other. And there was no stopping the way you each roasted Joe into oblivion, making him laugh all the while.

Joe’s apartment looked different than it had in all the photos you’d seen. The walls were decorated in old family photos and there were plenty of knickknacks you recognized from the years gone by, and some you didn’t. Stepping foot into his home felt strangely invasive, and you felt funny for wishing you’d been here more times than just this once.

You thought it was only natural that Gwilym took the only guest bedroom. The guy was one hundred feet tall, and you had no business taking up Joes spare California King. But Gwilym insisted the couch was just fine by him, and it was a big sofa after all. All of his bags seemed to be resting in an armchair nearby, anyhow. You couldn’t justify arguing, and soon you were shutting yourself into the spare room with sleep on your mind.

That was until rain pelted against the sealed window next to you, and you swore you saw a draft blew the blinds back. You cursed your hasty packing. You’d only grabbed an oversized tshirt instead of a sweater. After a moment of bringing your bare knees to your chest to get warm, desperate times called for desperate measures.

The apartment was dark, and Gwilym was peacefully sleeping on the L shaped sofa, borrowed knitted throw blankets decorated across his form. The glow from the streetlamp outside the kitchen window provided enough light for you to tiptoe toward Joe’s room, where soft yellow light seeped through the bottom of the door. Was he still up, too?

You knocked softly, in case he was asleep and your silly request wasn’t meant to matter. But you heard a shuffled from close beyond the door, and soon it creaked open.

“What’s up?” Joe asked, seemingly a little surprised to see you, but it was hard to read his face in the dim doorway.

“I just forgot a sweatshirt. Could I borrow one?” You asked sheepishly, folding your arms out of shyness and a bit of a chill.

“Yeah of course.” Joe breathed in sharply, turning on his feet toward his closet. The door creaked open further and you noticed Joe rub his eyes, before reaching to grab an old college sweatshirt. What was up with him tonight?

“Hey…” You cautiously began, slipping into the room and clicking the door shut. “Are you alright?” You padded toward your friend as he barely turned toward the sound of your voice.

“Uh,” Joe seemed to decide as he gently shoved his sweatshirt toward your grasp. You instinctively held it to your chest but dropped it the moment Joe turned away and started drifting toward his bed. Before he could totally answer your question he started to cry. The second you registered his snivels you darted toward where Joe stood quickly falling to piece. Then he began to explain himself.

“We said our goodbyes and everything, I shouldn’t still be so sad.” Joe croaked, covering his face with his hands so you couldn’t see his broken expression. But you felt the weight of his sadness stomp your heart out.

“You just miss him, Joe. It’s okay to miss him.” You missed his dad too, but saying so seemed selfish. Joe was still catching his breath under his hands as you pulled him toward his bed where the covers were already turned down.

You laid him down and wasted no time curling up next to him, pulling his head toward your shoulder. Joe sheepishly latched onto you while he steadied his breathing, and neither of you spoke. You just smoothed down his hair while he grabbed onto you. Joe was stronger than before.

“You are cold.” Joe noticed, chucking a little into your hair. But you sort of forgot your reason for coming in his room or the goosebumps that decorated your bare legs. You were completely comfortable in his arms. His embrace made you warmer than any sweatshirt ever could. You felt attached to him, but simultaneously cautious of the affection, you didn’t deserve this kind of all-encompassing comfort. Why was Joe’s embrace so much more multiplexed than it had been some odd years ago?

Joe was quiet, but the silence was heavy with whatever was on his mind. You could tell he wanted to say something more, but he never did. You lay together in understanding silence, trying to unravel your tangled thoughts about it all. But the effort made you tired and you drifted off there with Joe.

You woke up later, completely unsure of the time, but noticing the sun had yet to rise. Joe was still lying against you, now in peaceful sleep. You almost felt bad for squirming out from under him. You would hate to disrupt him, and his body was warm against yours. But you knew you couldn’t stay. Tiptoeing toward his door, you scooped up the previously abandoned college sweatshirt, squeezed through the door and back down the hall to the guest room. It was still cold, maybe even colder now.

///

Later that morning you awoke to a clattering from the kitchen. You slid some short on under Joe’s sweatshirt and ran your fingers through your hair before padding out of the guest room to discover what was happening.

Joe and Gwil were dressed for the day, drifting around the kitchen, arguing over something like an old married couple.

“Good morning mom and dad.” You snickered, grabbing your bottle of water from the night before, and watching Joe and his friend point to the oven. Joe shot you a look but turned his gaze back to Gwilym to finish the argument.

“If the fork comes out clean, it’s ready!” Joe pointed to the oven.

“Yeah, but you stuck it in the side, not the middle! You gotta go for the middle!” Gwilym argued. You took a sip of water and watched on in amusement. Had they really woken up and headed straight into baking something?

Joe turned to you, making some kind of whine as if pleading for you to help him prove his point. But Gwilym was right.

“He’s right.” You pointed your bottle toward Gwil who proudly sauntered behind the island to join you there.

“Ha!” Gwilym boasted.

“Ha? That’s the best you’ve got?” Joe playfully jabbed.

“It’s Welsh for ‘fuck off I’m right.’” Gwilym falsely reported, trying to save his comeback. Hey, that was good. You might steal that one. Joe laughed but looked at you with that same funny little micro-expression like he couldn’t choose between horror or sadness. But you couldn’t help go on smiling.

“You’re from there, right? Wales?” You moved your eyes toward Gwilym, who leaned against the counter toward you.

“Well no. Me mum is. I’m a fraud.” Gwil rose a brow and made you chuckle.

“Well, that’s a shame. We could have had our own secret language.” You gently admitted. Gwil kept a curious eye on you as he moved to sit next to you.

“You speak Welsh?” He asked, reaching for his cup of coffee across the island.

“I lived there for a while.” You shrugged.

“What the hell! Joe’s talked for ages about you but never mentioned that.” Gwilym cast a befuddled glance to Joe across the room. Joe talked about you back when you weren’t talking to each other? He was occupying himself with putting a couple of dishes away. You couldn’t read his face when he stepped closer toward the opposite side of the island. Joe responded by lifting his phone in the air and snapping a photo of you and Gwilym in the middle of the morning lit kitchen.

“What was that for?” Gwilym laughed.

“Something to remember you by when the oven catches on fire because we left this damn dessert in too long.” Joe fanned his hands around. You laughed out loud, utterly delighted to be amidst the chaos. You’d missed this side of Joe. His wit and spunk had sort of all but fizzled out through the winter. It was nice to see he hadn’t lost his touch.

The photo he took was accidentally wonderful. The bright kitchen looked like heaven around you and Gwilym, sleepily leaning on the counter.

“I’ve got to post this! Or do you want too?” Gwilym asked, pointing to the picture on your phone. You had an Instagram but scarcely used the platform outside of admiring other people’s posts. Something about how excited Gwilym became and how pretty the picture was made you excited to open the old dusty application. You sent the photo to yourself and posted it to your Instagram without hesitation. It looked like the start of something new. The bright white photo stood out among the rest of your grainy theme, mostly filled with photos of you and Tegan from the pub in Wales. You tagged Gwilym and Joe.

///

That day became a game of sneaking candid photos of each other. You snuck up on each other as you strolled through the city streets and snapped shots of one another buying ice creams and looking in storefronts. But the game got out of hand. Gwilym took one photo of Joe when he was least expecting it, as he was standing on his tiptoes to reach for something in a candy store you’d fallen into the trap of. Gwilym decided it was blackmail, and then the game was on. You got a photo of Gwilym taking a massive bite of lunch and Joe got one of you making some dumb face as you had to wait in line to use the restroom.

All the while, you felt hyper aware of your surroundings and started to take more photos of stickers on light poles and titles of books that were far too expensive but probably cheaper on resale somewhere. You watched Joe open a picture book of old school baseball players. You couldn’t help but snap a shot of the way he held the book open upon the stack of others. His long fingers ghosting over the pages like a treasure. The sun casting patterns across the scene.

“What is happening to you?” Joe laughed at your newfound hobby.

“We’re having fun, remember? I am anyway.” You chuckled, raising your camera inches from his face to snap a photo and giving him a mischievous grin before you scurried away. Joe’s laughter followed you out of the shop and all around the city.

That night Joe hyped you and Gwilym up into getting a little dressed up and going to a bar after dinner. Luckily the newer purchases you packed included a nice enough dress. Then you ended up at a piano bar. Something stuttered in your heart when you noticed the excitement in Joe’s eye’s as they peered into yours. You hadn’t played the piano since you sold your keyboard a couple of years ago. You barely even thought of playing, actually. But Joe clearly had picked this place for a reason, with the knowledge that it had always been your dream.

The piano bar was complete with green naugahyde and mahogany wood, totally stuck out of time but still classy somehow. The crowd varied in age, and you were charmed to find a girl younger than you playing the baby grand on the risen velvet stage.

You, Joe and Gwil sat in the middle of the room, at a cozy table. You ordered dark drinks and listened to each other’s stories while other peoples chatter blurred into the background. Joe ordered something fruity with a straw and held it in front of you, insisting you try it. You took a sip and looked to your friend with wide eyes to confirm it was super good. Gwilym snapped a photo of the two of you then.

“Awe, see, that’s the opposite of blackmail!” You chuckled.

“Or is it?” Gwilym shot you a menacing grin as he stood to order a new drink at the bar. Before you could decode his secret message, a voice caught your attention.

A nice looking gentleman with a German accent tapped on the microphone at the front of the stage as your friend walked away.

“Tonight we are inviting you lovely crowd to come up and play if you know how, or even just want to. Don’t be shy, but do take turns!” The man encouraged, slinking off stage while waving for the crowd to get up and muck about.

“You should.” Joe leaned forward, speaking quietly just to you. His soft gaze made your heart crack a little. You weren’t about to do that. But you almost wanted to, just because of how excited he looked. Had he known this was going to happen? Or was he just dazzled by the hands of fate opening this random door?

“Oh, I don’t know.” You shrugged sitting up a little. Joe did the same, following your gaze. “I haven’t played uh… for a while.”

“Oh, really?” Joe frowned. You didn’t want to disappoint him. You knew he chose this place just for you. But you couldn’t lie.

“I sold my keyboard years ago.” You sorrily shrugged, recalling the time you had no other choice to pay rent. And realizing now that you never told Joe out of some kind of shame. You’d moved overseas with big plans to play, and they all crumbled around you.

“Oh…” Joe bit his lip and got that look in his eye that you realized he always got at the mention of Wales.

“Okay listen.” You turned to Joe, gently demanding his attention. You’d had enough wine to delve into this conversation. And you had finally become fed up with how Joe always seemed more upset that you at the mention of your past.

“Kris and I were like… broken up or something for like, months near the end. Things weren’t good. All I’m saying is that things with him were over before they ended for real. And I don’t miss him. I don’t. I know I should. That’s what keeps me up at night. But I don’t miss him. So please don’t look at me like I’ve lost everything.” You spoke, reaching out touch Joe’s arm. He uncrossed them and turned to face you then with an answer.

“What happened to your 'it’s okay to be sad’ speech from last night?” Joe furrowed his brow, speaking a little louder than you had been to get his point across. But you didn’t feel better for talking about this, like you thought you might.

“This-” You sighed a groan, wanting to suddenly move far away from this topic. “This is different. My life in Wales died when Kris did, okay?” You decided, getting a little angry at the end of your sentence. You wanted to move on. That’s when Gwilym reappeared, a new drink in hand.

“Should we… maybe call it a night?” The lean Brit suggested, glancing between you and Joe. Your friend looked like he had more to say, but you couldn’t go on talking about it all tonight.

“No!” You demanded. “Sit down right now so we can have fun!” You’d gotten your first taste of good times after fearing they’d never come again, and you weren’t ready to give them up.

“This place is beautiful and I’m glad you picked it out, Joe.” You looked to him sincerely and his once-troubled expression softened. You hadn’t realized you left your hand on his knee until his fingers rested on top of yours.

///

After a few rounds of drinks and jokes about things you missed laughing about, you found yourself locked away in Joe’s guest room for the second night in a row; comfy in the sweatshirt you once asked to borrow (now sort of taken hostage.) Your phone rang as you turned down the bed, and you answered right away.

“Helllooo!” Tegan chirped from the other line right away, like she’d been waiting on to hear from you for weeks on end.

“What have I missed this time?” You laughed, snuggling against a heap of pillows.

“Me! You’ve missed me. Actually, I suddenly feel like I’m the one missing out.” Tegan playfully scoffed on the other line.

“Well, of course, I miss you but what are you talking about?” You wondered. Tegan knew the only activities that filled your days were sleeping, working and occasionally seeing Joe.

“I’m talking about the dreamboat in your Instagram post! What kind of bender are you on? Does he have a hot brother or would he be interested in-”

“Oh, God.” You cut her off with a laugh, afraid of what she might say next. “He’s Joe’s friend from the movie. And that’s all.”

“So he’s single and ready to dial my number then?”

“Well, he is Welsh.” You chided.

“I know, I stalked his profile long before this interrogation.”

“So then what’s with the twenty questions?” You laughed. Tegan never failed to keep you guessing.

“I was trying to get you to admit you miss me and this place so much that you’d found a tall handsome fellow to bring you back round.”

“No, no I’ll come back on my own someday, dear.”

“I know.” Tegan lowered her voice as if someone else might have been listening.

“I’ve got to find my sea legs though, yeah? I haven’t had a nightmare in a couple of weeks.” You proudly state, tossing the covers over your legs.

“That’s because you’re living the dream, honey,” Tegan stated, as if she really meant it, as if it wasn’t a joke.

After chatting a while longer about how she’d been managing the pub without you and filling you in on the happenings about the quaint little Welsh town, you had to call it a night when your eyes could hardly stay open.

After you hung up, your phone buzzed a few times in a row. Who could possibly try to be getting ahold of you now? You checked to find a notification from Instagram, about a new follower. Assuming Gwilym had just finally got around to liking the photo you posted featuring him, you went to go admire it one last time. But before your eyes focused on the photo in question, a shocking number arose from your notification button.

You had hundreds more followers and more than a thousand likes on your newest photograph. below hundreds of comments.

y'all are so CUTE!

Why is Joe tagged?

Is that his sister?

Where is Joe?

Oh shit, you thought. These boys really mattered to people who didn’t know them. They found you all because you’d tagged Gwilym and Joe. They wanted to know why Joe was tagged. They cared. The astounding influx of followers and likes alarmed you for a few seconds, as you stared at your profile, wondering if you should delete everything. But why? You were proud to finally have something to post about that wasn’t old a grey.

Just as you thought of closing out the app, another notification popped up, unlike all the rest. Joe had tagged you in a photo. He’d just posted the picture of the two of you that Gwilym had taken at the piano bar. The one of you drinking from the glass Joe is holding while you’re looking at each other. In his caption, only a couple of music note emojis.

///

Gwilym left the next afternoon, with a long face and a suitcase full of New York souvenirs. You hugged him for a long time at the loading gates of the airport and laughed when he lifted Joe off the ground for a hug of his own. You weren’t sure if you’d ever see Gwil again, because that’s how life worked. But instead of worrying over it, you felt happy to have gotten to know him.

Joe started the long drive back to your hometown. He blabbered on about how he needed to help his mom with something anyway so he was glad you came along in the first place, just so he could drop you back off again. But you started to feel bad about how long you’d spent mucking about Joe’s flat and wasting his newly valuable time.

“I can drive a little, if you want.” You nervously offered to spare him a little while of responsibility.

“Do you want to?” Joe shot a curious glance your way as he drove out of the city.

“I don’t mind.” Because, no you didn’t really want to. But you would.

“It’s okay,” Joe assured, settling back against his seat, both hands on the wheel.

“Well, then I can give you gas money, yeah?” You thought. You were suddenly desperate to pay him back somehow for the weekend.

“No,” Joe laughed unbelievably. “Why are you being weird?” He was still chuckling.

“Because! This weekend you’ve been absolutely way too generous. So let me do something for you! Are you hungry? I’ll get us dinner.” You waved your hands to make your point and turned to face Joe from the passenger seat.

“I guess I could eat, yeah.” Joe smiled, nodding his head toward the road as he drove. You were a couple of hours away from home, and thirty minutes from a few good stops.

“Alright! Cheesecake Factory. No buts! Step on it!”

“Do you have Stockholm Syndrome?” Joe outlandishly quizzed. You laughed. “Do I have Stockholm Syndrome?”

Joe continued to imagine insane scenarios all the way to the Cheesecake Factory. You skipped inside together and put your name in at the desk. There were three other families ahead of you in line, and a big party that had followed in just behind you and Joe. You didn’t mind the wait, and leaned against the wall next to Joe, clutching the restaurant buzzer in your fist.

“We’re going to tell them it’s your birthday, so get ready.” You smiled as if you were kidding, but you weren’t. There was a deep desperation in you that demanded you shower Joe with the kind of attention he’d shown you this weekend, and always now that you thought about it. You were tired of sulking. You were ready to get back to the way things should have always been.

“Why can’t we tell them it’s yours?” Joe jabbed your side, his sparkling eyes looking into yours with a question.

“Because tonight is very special all about you night.” You reminded as if this had always been clear.

“Alright well, I want to tell them it’s your birthday.” Joe decided, imitating a snotty brat, sticking his nose in the air as if to make his decision final. Just as you started to laugh and curse at him, someone snaked their way through the waiting area packed with people and stopped in front of you.

“You two!” A voice rang. You were looking at Joe when you heard it, and watched his eyes turn in recognition. A girl with mousy brown hair dyed blue at the tips stood in front of you, and she looked the same as she had in high school.

“Keeley!” You practically shrieked, pushing yourself from the wall to wrap her in a hug. Keeley was one of your closest friends from high school. She would invite you over to play guitar hero and help you cheat on homework. When you weren’t riding bikes around town with Keeley, you were usually with Joe, but on many treasured occasions you could be found at the baseball diamond as a trio, when her little brother was on the same team as Joe’s brother.

“I didn’t realize you were back in town.” Joe hugged the girl after you had your turn. She went to Chicago after graduating and you slowly stopped texting each other long-winded updates over the years, even forgoing checking in on social media. But there didn’t seem to be any hard feelings.

“I didn’t realize either of you were back in the country!” Keeley laughed, looking between you and Joe.

“Oh, God I’m sorry, babe-” Keeley turned around and wrapped her fingers around someone’s wrist. “This is my fiance Rebeca.” Keeley beamed a smile at a woman with big brown eyes and a timid smile.

“This is Y/N, who I will always be indebted to for getting kicked off the volleyball team when she took the blame for the time I slashed the principal’s tires.” Keeley fawned over you as you shook your head in remembrance.

“And this is Joe, our resident movie star and the only person who has ever beaten me at Scrabble.” Keeley gestured to Joe as her fiance cocked her head. You knew that look. Joe did too.

“Hey- weren’t you in that Queen movie?” Rebeca pointed up to Joe with a smirk. He let himself smile and started to give a coy nod as he turned his eyes toward you, for some reason.

“That’s why you were so excited to see it, huh?” Rebeca turned to Keeley and your old high school friend started to laugh.

“I’ll always go see your movies, Maz. I’ll even sit through shitty cop shows just to see that cute face of yours. You’re really good, ya know that?” Keeley gave Joe a playful punch in the arm when your buzzer started to go off.

“I’m still much better at Scrabble than anything else.” He smiled.

“Man, we’re being summoned.” You frowned, holding the timer in view.

“Call next time you’re in town!” Joe demanded toward the girls, preparing to follow you toward the desk. You reached out to give Keeley a quick hug. You waved to Rebeca and assured it was nice to meet her as the ladies turned to leave.

“Come on, birthday boy.” You grinned, looping your arm through Joes and foiling his plans to foil yours.

“It’s your birthday? Happy birthday!” Rebeca called over her shoulder.

“Thank you.” Joe sighed through his teeth, dragged you away giving you a look that made you laugh out loud. You totally won whatever game you were playing tonight.

But just nanoseconds before Keeley and Rebeca were out of earshot, you heard your friend’s fiance gush “They were so cute together!”

But you were too distracted by a friendly hostess to let the distant comment sink in.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

#joe mazzello #joe mazello x reader #joe mazzello fanfic #joe mazzello imagine

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queen-ofsunflowers · 5 years ago

Text

A Peace Sign to the Sky: Chapter One Preview

When it was finally time to return to school again, Ruby had two apologies written out in her head: one that she was going to give her teachers, and the other her classmates. However… as Ruby entered Class 1-A’s homeroom… she didn’t think that her apology would be necessary. Not that she wanted to give it, she really felt like she had to. But most of her class waved it off. They told her that they would’ve done the same thing too, if they were brave enough.

Eijirou Kirishima (a redheaded boy whose Quirk allowed him to harden his skin into stone) and Katsuki Bakugo (an explosive blonde with an appropriate Quirk to match his personality) had different reactions, though After all, when that warping villain cut off the kids from the exit, Ruby wasn't the only one to fight back against him. They had as well. Bakugo said nothing when she tried to apologize, he just looked incredibly irritated. Kirishima, a bit more on the friendlier side, told her to “not sweat it”. He did his best to make her feel better about what had happened. It worked for the most part.

Ruby supposed that the conversation the class was having helped. While they waited for the homeroom to begin, chatter seemed to fill the room. The topic? The kids weren’t given much time to talk about it with each other at first, but now that they were all together again, Class 1-A couldn’t seem to help themselves from talking about the USJ Incident.

“We’re totally big deals,” said Denki Kaminari (a blonde whose Quirk allowed him to cover his body with self-made electricity) as he leaned back in his seat. “Those news channels love us, we're basically celebrities.”

“Yeah, it’s kinda crazy, right?” added Kirishima. He wasn't far from off. In every news report Ruby had seen between their last class and now, it had mostly been focused around the USJ Incident and the investigation into it.

“Get over yourselves,” Kyoka Jirou (a punk-looking girl whose Quirk were the earphone jacks dangling from her earlobes,) swiveled around in her chair to face the two boys. “The hero course that pumps out pros was attacked, and that’s what they care about.”

Hanta Sero (a plain boy who could dispense tape from his elbows) leaned forward on his desk, resting his head in his arms. “Who knows what woulda happened to us if the teachers hadn’t shown up.”

“Why’d you say that?!” screehe Minoru Mineta, (the shortest member of 1-A who had balls growing on top of his head that could stick to anything). “I’m gonna pee myself just thinkin’ about it!”

“Oh, shut up!” barked Bakugo, only a few seats away, “Grow a pair, loser!” Ruby sighed, sinking down in her own seat a little.

“Sorry…” she said, apologizing once again. If it weren’t for her, maybe the teachers wouldn’t have needed to come and rescue them. They all could have gotten out safely and no one would’ve gotten hurt.

“Rose, relax,” Sero leane back in his seat to address the girl sitting in the back of the classroom. “What happened happened. There’s nothing you can do to change it. Besides, we’re alright now.” Ruby hummed in reply. She guessed… stil, it didn’t change how bad she felt about the whole thing.

“Come on, Rose, cheer up,” said Kirishima, throwing in his own bit of encouragement. “Look on the bright side. We weren’t hurt, Mr. Aizawa and Thirteen are going to make full recoveries, and almost all the villains were arrested.”

“Yeah, and it’s really weird to see you so down like this,” Kaminari added, earning himself a jab from Jirou. Ruby sighed.

“I can’t stop thinking about the whole thing,” she told them, straightening up. “I mean… I know All Might saved us, but… At the time, I thought it was cool. And it still is — it was like a video game or an anime. But… I don’t know. Something about it rubs me the wrong way.” She sighed again, shutting her eyes and letting the incident replay in her head.

She knew why it unsettled her so. It was because of Torchwick. He had brought a majority of those villains with him to the USJ as support in order to take her down. Villains that attacked her classmates and teachers. She had told only a few people outside of the police about that ruin-in she had with him (those people being three of her classmates — Tenya Iida, Ochako Uraraka and Izuku Midoriya). It twisted her stomach in so many knots to think that it was probably her fault that all those villains are there in the first place.

Her thoughts were broken when the class representative rushed to the front of the class at the podium that stood there.

“Attention!” said Tenya Iida as he made his way up there fast enough that Ruby thought he had used the engines in his legs to do it. The chatter began to settle. “Homeroom class is about to begin! Everyone stop talking and take your seats!”

“Uh, we’re all sitting?” said Kirishima. He was right.

“Yeah, you’re the only one standing,” Sero added. Iida had nothing to say. All he did was push up his glasses and walk over to his own seat, face flushed with embarrassment.

“Dang it!” Iida muttered thought stiff frustration.

Ochako, who sat directly behind him, patted his shoulder. “Don’t sweat it.”

As embarrassing as that whole thing was, Iida did have a good point. Ruby cast her gaze on the clock hanging upon the wall. Homeroom should have started by now. She looked over at the door. Where was… Ah. Right… Ruby almost forgot.

Class 1-A’s homeroom teacher was a man by the name of Shouta Aizawa, also known as the Pro Hero Eraserhead. Like his name started, Mr. Aizawa’s Quirk enabled him to temporarily erase the Quirks of others, so long as he was staring at them. All in all, it was a pretty useful Quirk for someone who was going to be training the next generation of heroes. The minute that the students had been put in danger at the USJ, Mr. Aizawa had thrown himself into the fight. While Ruby hadn’t seen him since then, she and the rest of the class got a full report on what happened. The fight left Mr. Aizawa literally broken. Iida had told her that he wasn’t even conscious by the time the teachers arrived. He was due to make a full recovery, as she later picked up from a news report and her own uncle (whom like her father was a Pro Hero as well), but...

That whole situation raised a very important question. If Mr. Aizawa was still in the hospital, just who was going to handle Class 1-A for the time being? As if on cue, Ruby’s question was answered when the door to the classroom scraped slowly open.

“Morning, class.” Ruby’s eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open. While everyone in the class cried out various phrases from the sheer shock of who stood there, all of it could be summed up as: ‘Mr. Aizawa, what are you doing here?!’

Ruby could hardly believe it, and yet here he was. Class 1-A’s homeroom teacher had returned for work mere days after being beaten to a pulp. Not that he went unscarred from the event. Every visible portion of Mr. Aizawa’s face is covered in bandages. Both of his arms were thickly casted and in slings.

Iida raised his hand up high as Mr. Aizawa limped to the front of the class. “Mr. Aizawa, I’m glad you’re okay!”

“You call that ‘okay’?” said Ochako. Ruby had to agree with her there. Even though she couldn’t quite make out his face, Ruby had no doubt that Mr. Aizawa was in an incredible amount of pain. How is the even standing right now?

“My wellbeing is irrelevant,” said Mr. Aizawa. Ruby thought otherwise. “What’s more important is that your fight isn’t over yet.” A feeling of dread settled over the classroom. They had just got done fighting for their lives. Were they going to have to fight villains again so soon?! “The UA Sports Festival is about to start.”

The rest (and edited verison) will be uploaded onto Ao3 on May 16!

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lotus-mirage · 5 years ago

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The Untamed episode 48 liveblog

Weird note but the other night I woke up with no recollection of my dream save for the fact that Mickey Mouse gave Wen Ning a Keyblade, except because he was dead it was more of a sword with weird nicks down one end than anything else. I think I also thought that this had been plausible and that Disney owned Netflix or whatever company produced the show.

Anyways.

Oh right communication yay

Wait they’re still bad at it nvm I don’t know how I forgot

This is a very bad time for this specific breakdown in particular

Ahhhh D,:

Okay, so this entire thing feels like Jiang Cheng is trying to process everything rather than actual questions/accusations

Oh good we’re getting somewhere

!!!!

:’D

Communication!

I’m not sure that ‘putting things in the past’ is the right answer here, but given the people involved I’m not sure that talking about them would go well either

Nie Huaisang is still just there. Passed out on the floor. Spectacular.

Oh wait no he’s moving

Uh. What’s happening to the minion guys?

Does Jin Guangyao not know???

It spreads? Since he’s making a tourniquet?

Are the contents of the box not what he expected???? What?

How did Nie Mingjue get in there??

It seems like Jin Guangyao wasn’t expecting him - didn’t he at least still have his head?

Nie Huaisang is being pretty quiet, considering

Wait wait he’s implying that someone else was pulling strings too?

Those are a lot of things to arrange

Wait wait wait who are the candidates for this even

They’re only restraining them now???

50% chance he just handed Su She poison

No? Okay.

Oh!! The scars!

Jin Guangyao is having a lot of his plans revealed, and doesn’t seem to be doing too well

For all the sympathy I had for Meng Yao, I’m not really feeling anything at Su She’s speech

Note: not feeling much of that aforementioned sympathy at present

Also his current mannerisms/actions/speech feel highly disconnected from like every other time we’ve seen him. Like he’s really playing it up here, interspersed with small breakdowns between speeches.

Stop. Insulting him. For the circumstances of his birth.

It’s irrelevant, dumb, and probably a good way to get yourself killed fast.

Well I’m sure some people have taken this ‘what if’ and run with it

Is he going to resurrect Nie Mingjue?

This is incredibly dramatic

Are these illusions or like the ghost thing that killed Wen Chao?

The others don’t seem to be able to see them

That was terribly fast. Why didn’t he do that sooner??

Why’s Jin Guangyao bleeding now?

Oh no, is Lan Xichen going to have to land the first hit against him?

Close enough

Wait, he was just carrying that piece of the amulet (I assume) with him?

It has kind of been a while since Jin Ling said anything, haha

Oh jeez the lack of trust hurts both Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao huh

Him on his knees seems pretty reminiscent. I don’t think he’s going to get away with his life this time though.

Is he trying to appeal to sympathy?

His plea felt too smooth for it to be real, I think. All the ‘real’ things we’ve seen from him recently have been pretty messy.

End notes:

I totally thought that Wen Ning and the disciples were going to show up soon. I suppose there’s still tome for it, but I was a little surprised when it didn’t happen this episode.

No predictions this time, it’s late right now and we’re at a kind of exposition-heavy point.

#the untamed #untamed liveblog #mdzs #didnt mean to miss so many days in a row sorry #my thoughts

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cottonblush · 6 years ago

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model student | hrj

❧ word count: 2,568

❧ genre: fluff, humor

❧ notes: i really didn’t know what to title this but then i was like?? hey the reader is a model student bc they’re like a top student who tutors often and renjun is a literal model student so,,,, watch literally no one get my pun um we love that! also renjun is 500% visuals he could definitely be a model and if anyone disagrees they’re irrelevant:)

renjun really doesn’t want to take more time off of school since he’s already missed a lot

but he’s gaining more popularity in the model industry and doesn’t want to miss out on any opportunities

so after almost a month he’s done bunch of shoots and decides it’s time to go back to school

but when he gets back he’s kinda lost

ok maybe really lost

renjun likes to consider himself a pretty smart person but he’s having a hard time catching up

so his teacher says he’s assigning you as his tutor bc you’re one of the smartest students

and at first renjun is like,, no way josé i can handle this on my own

but then his chemistry teacher starts talking about the born-haber method and it’s at that moment he knows

he fucked up he desperately needs help

he’s supposed to meet you after school the next day and he’s lowkey nervous because,, what if you judge him or look down on him

but then he realizes he just doesn’t?? care what people think

so he gets to the library and at first he doesn’t see anyone so he’s like

gasp!! i’ve been played

but then he notices you sitting on a bean bag chair near a big window

you’re studying what seems to be calculus and you have earbuds in so you don’t hear him approach

just when renjun goes to tap your shoulder you take a sip of water

and end up spitting it out all over your textbook bc you really didn’t hear or see him coming

meanwhile renjun is just standing there wondering if he should apologize or like help clean up or something

and he’s about to ask if you need a napkin

when you jump up from your seat and turn to face him and

??? you smile at him

renjun is officially confused™

shouldn’t you be mad?? he made you ruin your textbook and those aren’t cheap

anyway you take your earbuds out and place your book on the floor and you say

“hi you must be renjun! i’m y/n!”

and renjun is like “ok but your book,, she dead”

you assure him that it’s totally fine it’s your own copy of the book anyway

so then yall sit down at a table after cleaning up the water

and then you clear your throat and ask what he needs help in

renjun tries to be nonchalant about it like “oh i mean i’ve kinda gone for a while but i’m sure i can catch up in no time”

but then his voice cracks in the middle of it and then he’s like!! oh shoot i look dumb

but you’re nice so you just don’t bring it up and decide to assure him

“ii think so too:))))) you seem like a rlly smart person”

renjun doesn’t know how but you seem to speak the language of smiles? and he’s mildly uncomfortable like how can you be this happy after a long day of school

anyway he decides to just explain his predicament and tell you about his modeling gigs and stuff

and once again you surprise him by not freaking out or acting different like most people do

you just nod and smile some more like you totally understand him

and the weird thing is?? it’s actually believable

like renjun really feels like you get him and he thinks to himself?? mayhaps yall could be friends

so you guys finally get to the studying part and you somehow manage to crack a joke every two seconds

even though they’re lame renjun laughs bc his grades sorta depend on you helping him

but once in a while you say something sorta funny and renjun loses it

and it’s weird bc you’re the first person he’s met that he feels comfortable around (other than his friends jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, and jisung)

anyway so you two cover a couple of subjects and before long the sky is dark and you’re like

oh shoot i gtg!!

and renjun is kinda worried you’ll be in trouble

but then you’re like

lol no it’s just that my cat likes to be fed at a certain time and if she doesn’t get her food she literally attacks me but it’s totally fine ahah living my best life

you and renjun decide to meet 3 times a week so that he can get caught up asap

and ofc renjun’s friends think he’s got a gf so one day they decide to stalk him and they follow him to a starbucks where you said you would meet

and they get out a newspaper and hats and sunglasses and everything

they really think they’re being super sneaky but

everyone is giving them weird looks

except you and renjun bc for once yall are?? actually studying? who would’ve guessed

anyway after about 2 minutes of staring at you two chenle gets bored and decides to confront you

so he gets up and he doesn’t even bother taking off the gigantic trench coat and sunglasses he’d been wearing

“dude are you just not gonna introduce me to your gf/bf i’m so offended,, i thought we were close i even binged the kung fu panda movies with you”

you and renjun look up and see this giant blob of a man(??) shaking his head disapprovingly and yall are just like,, whomstve?? do we know this chump?

and then chenle rolls his eyes and then takes off his disguise and renjun groans and rolls his eyes

“how did i not know it was you chenle,, first of all they’re not my gf/bf and second you’re the kung fu panda fan here are we just gonna ignore the fact that you collect all the figurines-”

ofc chenle ignores renjun and he turns to you and is like

“how do u even tolerate renjun ugh he can be so mean sometimes he’s basically my bully”

and you laugh and tell chenle that renjun isn’t that bad he’s actually kinda sweet sometimes

cue chenle going “oooooooooooooooooooh yall are totally dating”

renjun doesn’t even try to hide it when he kicks chenle in the shin

by now, the rest of renjun’s friends have given up on their disguises and are blatantly staring

and renjun notices them out of the corner of his eye

he drops his head in his textbook and just wants the earth to swallow him up

on the other hand you’re having a blast because renjun’s friends are a hoot!!

you guys have a lot in common and after 10 minutes you’ve already promised chenle see his figurine collection and you tell donghyuck that you’ll totally go sing karaoke with him

renjun is lowkey jealous so he reaches across the table and taps your hand and is like,, can we ditch uh-,, can we ditch

so then you tell the boys that you have to take care of your cat because it’s sick

and technically you’re not lying you do have to feed it

renjun stands up and is like,, dw i’ll walk u home so we can save ur cat!!

so you two grab your stuff and dash and it kinda has the boys suspicious but they’re dumb so they’re all thinking

omg i hope the cat is ok lets all go home and pray for it

anyway so now it’s just you and renjun walking down the street and watching the sun set

and renjun is mentally asking himself why he got jealous back at starbucks

he decides that he got to know you first so maybe he’s friend jealous?? yeah bc that’s totally a thing

and his mind also goes to this new offer he got from a photographer recently

he wasn’t going to take the job but now he figures when he gets back he’ll get to spend more time with you and for some reason that makes him rlly happy

so he tells you about it and is like

“you better be there to catch me up god knows i can’t count on the others”

and you laugh and say ofc you’ll help and you’re super excited for him bc it’s a shoot for a pretty well known brand

when renjun finishes his shoot he’s really excited bc he thinks it turned out amazing and he can’t wait to show you,, and of course the others too

so he gets home and he’s about to text you when he sees this notification for an article about him

it talks about how he’s just a generic teen who does the same poses over and over again and he doesn’t even look that good

and all of a sudden renjun just feels like he’s lost all confidence

it really isn’t like him he’s usually super confident and doesn’t care about what strangers think but

this review came from a famous fashion magazine and he really liked it but now?? not so much

he doesn’t reach out to anyone for a while

and after a couple days you know something’s up because you know he’s home from the shoot already

you go to visit him and you find out he locked himself in his room

and you knock and ask if you can come in but he doesn’t answer

so you just talk to him from outside and hope he’s listening

you start by saying you heard from his manager what happened and that he’s dumb for even caring about some random article

and then you rant about how he’s smart and funny and has pretty much everything going for him

and then last but not least you’re like

“you’re someone i and a lot of other people look up to a lot and i rlly want to see you smile again bc it’s lowkey gorgeous and you’re lowkey gorgeous but anyway”

you figure you’ve said enough so you skedaddle!! and uh usain bolt can step aside bc you’re pretty sure you’ve set a new world record

all this time you’re freaking out bc you have no idea where all of that ‘ur so gorgeous’ talk came from

probably out of your left buttcheek you’re literally so flustered

and renjun is just thinking about what you said and he doesn’t know why but,,, he can’t,, stop smiling

those negative thoughts? poof gone. insecurities? whomst.

ok so a few days pass by and renjun finally goes back to school

and it’s lunch time

and renjun is nervous to see you but he still doesn’t know why

and you’re nervous to see him bc you think you made yourself sound dumb the other day

so you try to distract yourself by talking to jaemin about some gossip you two heard

but then in your peripheral vision you see renjun enter the cafeteria and your heart!! stops

and you still don’t know why but your heart is like all tingly

as renjun approaches it hits you like a brick,,, you like renjun!!!!

snap crackle pop you rlly like this dude!

so you get up mid sentence and you run up to him and you just smile and say “you’re back i missed you:))”

and he says he missed you too and he missed your smiles

and then you’re like “haha that’s nice um wanna go on a date some time,, wow is that a bird in chenle’s hair i should go bye”

renjun is like “wait what did you say” but you’re already: gone

and he runs after you and makes it to the lunch table and you’re sitting there with your face in your hands bc you think you’ve just screwed it up

so he sits down next to you and gently takes your hands away and like just holds them in his and the size difference is so cute bc compared to his hands yours are so tiny!!

at this point the rest of the boys have gone quiet and are staring and chenle is about to interrupt and say something dumb but jeno shuts him up by shoving some ramen down his throat

and he senses the atmosphere (perhaps he’s been binge watching the bachelorette and love island in private so he knows what’s up) and somehow grabs all the other boys and drags them away

as he’s leaving jeno does like a salute in renjun’s direction bc he’s got his bro’s back but

renjun is too busy rn

trying to get you to look at him

also jeno is now pouting bc he really wanted it to be this whole cool scene where he and renjun saluted each other or did some like secret code but,, it’s totally fine:(

anyway so here you are face as red as the chilies in the popeye’s red stick chicken advertisement

you’re just like

why did i say that why did i say that wHY DID I SAY THAT

but then renjun is like

“hey y/n i’d really like to go on a date with you if you could maybe breath first tho”

and you’re like

“…………………………wait what”

“yeah i actually think you’re really cool and i’ve sorta had a crush on you for a while”

“…………………………wait wHAt”

“istg if you say that one more time i’m leaving”

“nono uh i mean are you sure you like me?? i’m not that special or anything”

renjun then hits you on the head and assures you that to him, you’re the most special and beautiful and perfect

and you’re like

uwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwu

“that’s cute aw so glad i have a recording of it”

and renjun stops and says “um recording?? whom-”

“sweetie it’s called acting now ii have something to blackmail you with if you’re ever rude to me”

and then you pull out your phone from your pocket and you stop the voice memo app and save the recording as

'bf’s confession uwu’

and then renjun chases you for the rest of lunch trying to delete the recording and you’re laughing rlly loud and disturbing everyone but

you guys don’t care bc you’re too happy

and tbh everyone thinks you’re a cute couple

like jealous classmates? no how about supportive ones who ship you and write fanfics for yall

it’s cute how renjun can get flustered by some of the stories that get written about you two

and he has to try and keep his 'idc’ façade up but it never works

anyway the point is yall are basically perfect for each other

catch you two on campus at the tuck shop buying snacks for each other

or walking home together

or finding cute lil restaurants to eat at

eventually your relationship goes public and like

at first you get a bit of hate bc some of renjun’s fans are protective

but then they realize you’re a literal squish and then all of renjun’s supporters turn on him and are like

“istg if you hurt y/n i’ll kill you idc how gorgeous you are”

and honestly you love it and you rub it in his face like all the time

“hah maybe i should be the famous one it seems like they like me more”

“shut up or i’ll make chenle do his dolphin laugh every time you try to sleep”

“lol nice try we’re kung fu panda buddies there’s no tearing us apart”

perhaps renjun hates you but at the end of the day he can’t see himself living without you

so it’s all good

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spiders-hth-is-an-outlier · 6 years ago

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So I’ve been kinda snide about the GoT finale, and that’s -- not entirely fair, because it was, I mean, fine. It was fine, for what it was -- for what the show wanted to be, which it turns out was, “Will the Stark Kids make it out of these troubled times okay?” And they mostly did, and it was fine (sorry, Robb).

And just so I don’t feel like the last living human without a Hot Take on Game of Thrones, I thought I’d take a shot at why, in spite of having a number of strengths and being sometimes pretty great, the overall arc and particularly the ending made me unhappy as One of Those Annoying Book Fans. (I’m going to say all this like it’s Objectively True, which surely we all understand nothing is, so insert all the relevant in-my-opinions and all that.)

So I *love* the books, the books were a life-changing revelation for me when I started reading them back in 1997 when I was a slip of a 21-year-old lifelong fantasy fan. And yeah, I know the reputation now is “ooooh, aren’t you a grimdark edgelord, so impressed with your gritty fantasy faux-realism,” but -- uh, I’m not sorry. Because the thing is I wasn’t reading for “realism” in the sense of “this is like reality” -- I like *narrative,* which reality unfortunately noticeably lacks, and ASOIAF was very clearly a crafted narrative that was trying to say extremely specific things *about narrative* and about the cognitive dissonance that arises when narrative-loving human brains have to cope with narrative-indifferent reality. That may seem like slicing the distinction pretty fine, but I think it matters. The books weren’t just a bunch of shit happening because “in real life, that’s what would happen, just a bunch of shit.” The specific shit that happened, and its ramifications and the way people processed said shit according to their distinctive needs and perspectives and hang-ups, was all extremely deliberate, and aimed straight at a Serious Thematic Point, which is that fantasy novels are obsessed with exactly the most irrelevant shit possible, and maybe that’s a problem.

These are books that revolve around a crisis in succession and legitimacy of kingship, like practically all high fantasy does (even more so back then, but it still seems pretty common). An usurper sits on the throne and two legitimate heirs are in exile, and there’s this constant sense of unease, because from the perspective of our main viewpoint character, that’s -- good? Because even though the Baratheon dynasty took over illegitimately, Robert is a better king than the last one, and Ned supports him. Only Robert himself is uneasy and paranoid, his reign totally dependent on the goodwill of a family of rich assholes he hates and constantly haunted by the idea that the Targaryen children might come for their revenge, which by the cultural logic of Westeros, they’ll pretty much deserve. So here you have all this palace intrigue and political skullduggery, and it’s immediately interesting because instead of being about restoring the Rightful King, it’s about propping up the guy who had the Rightful King killed, because he’s not great but the first guy was worse.

But the deeper you get into it, the more you start to realize that above and beyond the “subversive” flipped script of the idea of royal legitimacy, there’s a second and *far fucking better* subversion happening.

The point of the books is that IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER who sits on the throne. That the entire “game” is not just flipped in the sense of “you thought this person should be the king, but really it was a different person who should be the king” -- the game itself is illegitimate, and destructive, and fundamentally absurd, a bunch of assholes wreaking limitless chaos out of their fixed ideas about cosmic order, which are, every single one of them, wildly wrong.

It happens on two prongs simultaneously -- first, the Iron Throne doesn’t matter because *whoever* is “in power” is immediately hamstrung. They can’t actually do anything of any significance, because they’re 100% occupied from the moment they step into the bullseye with fending off eight hundred other assholes who want to be king of the hill, so no succession in the entire series can happen in an “orderly” or “legitimate” way -- every one of them is bedeviled by uprisings and invasions and civil wars and assassination attempts and legal challenges, and the point is that this will continue to happen forever, while the world just kind of trudges on. The second arm of IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER is the long game, because Winter Is Coming, and not one person on the entire planet is remotely prepared to put their personal bullshit aside in order to figure out what to do with an ice zombie invasion. People are just going to keep offing each other for imaginary honors and getting knocked off in their turn, and one day they’ll wake up and realize they rule a world that’s uninhabitable and NONE OF IT FUCKING MATTERED.

That was the point of ASOIAF to my reading, and that’s what I loved about it. Its “realism” was that it drilled down hard into the brutal reality that we saturate ourselves in stories about how great it’s going to be when the Good Leader is on the throne at last, but *that’s never going to happen,* because leaders are regular humans who run the gamut between “pretty all right” and “just the fucking worst,” but they change pretty regularly, and waiting for the Good Leader to fix it all is a sucker’s game anyway, because people don’t just show up and save the world and establish The Good Times and then the story is over. That’s *not a real thing,* and maybe we should tell at least the occasional story that doesn’t end that way, so we won’t all be so goddamn obsessed with pinning our hopes on saviors who don’t pan out.

The thing is...I don’t know how you end a story like that. I more than a little bit suspect that GRRM also does not know how you end a story like that. When the whole point is that politics is an endless game with no real winners and that even the putative winners aren’t really capable of stopping the tides of history, when do you ring the curtain down? I actually have no idea.

What I was not hoping for was a final season that is entirely, uncritically, about making sure we all feel good about who gets to be kings and queens and who doesn’t. That -- DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER. I mean, I almost love having Bran take the throne, because there’s this weird subtextual kind of “lol, who cares, have that guy do it I guess” baked into the meaninglessness of Bran, who doesn’t want anything or, mostly, even feel anything. But all the literal and figurative chair-shuffling at the end of the episode about who’s going to serve on the council and who’s in charge of what, I just.... It seems like the writers really thought that was the payoff. That what we all needed to know about the Game of Thrones is who ends up winning it.

And that’s such a baldly, drastically, jaw-droppingly bad payoff for the ASOIAF that I loved. The suggestion that the realm will be brought to some kind of peace now that the Correct, Better Dynasty is enthroned in the allied Six Kingdoms/North is completely ass backwards from the entire point of the books. Winter coming and going harmlessly, the Others (White Walkers, whatever) dispatched in one single-night battle, just betrays the source material so audaciously that it feels like it had to be deliberate. That was the whole goddamn story! That Winter Was Coming!!!!! And then the show just -- didn’t do that, and instead built its climax around A Good Leader dispatching A Bad Leader, whereby the realm is saved, yay.

Only the point was that power operates systemically, and power itself takes in the people who would wield it, and power replicates itself in the forms that are familiar, and that the problem isn’t that we need to keep searching for the Rightful King, because *power doesn’t suddenly become benevolent when it’s invested in someone with good intentions.* I know there are still people who will argue with me about that, and -- I mean, fine, that’s a matter of differing political philosophies, but Team Great Man Theory of History can rest assured that basically every other epic story will back up their worldview, because that worldview makes for better, more satisfying stories.

ASOIAF was written for the rest of us. It was a big, rich, plotty, absorbing epic story about a world where people were only human and things were only ever going to get put right to the degree that the world has ever been put right, which is...not especially. But still, the characters were *human,* and what they chose to do mattered. At least, it mattered to exactly whichever degree you personally believe that the things people choose to do matter, and it kind of challenged you to answer that question for yourself: if you knew you were never going to win the game and never going to save the world, because it’s not that kind of a world, what would you do? Would you still try to be a hero? Would you take the world for everything you could get? Would you just keep your damn head down? Would you just chase what you loved instead of the fate of nations? Would you try all those things at different times, as seemed right to you in the moment, and then live with the consequences?

I don’t know how the hell you make that into a tv show, or if it’s even remotely possible. I just know that the show they made needed an ending, and the one they went with just felt a lot like every book I’ve ever read in my life *except* these books. Which might have been inevitable from the beginning, but it’s still disappointing.

#got #long post

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lettersfromn0where · 6 years ago

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OC Interview Tag

Rules: Pick a character from your WIP and have them answer these fifteen questions, then tag people. Thanks to @leonajasmin-writeblr for the tag! These characters are from my original WIP, The Radiant, which is about a group of teenagers who developed strange abilities as a result of growing up next to a nuclear waste dump. (Don’t buy a house near a nuclear waste disposal site, kids.) I’m going to use three because they’re beans and I love them and also can’t choose. Meg is regular text, Gigi is italics, Diya is bolded italics.

1. What is your full name?

Margaret Mai Lien Pham. Margaret is...an elegant old lady name my parents liked, Mai Lien is a nod to my Vietnamese heritage, and Pham is one of the most common Vietnamese surnames (and my father’s).

Genesis Chantal Cappellini (if you call me Genesis, I will murder you in cold blood), because I have strange parents. Chantal was chosen because not very many names sound nice with “Genesis,” and Cappellini is a super obscure last name that happens to be my family’s.

Diya Sunita Patel. Not sure why I was named that, but it’s nice, I suppose.

2. What does your full name mean?

Margaret means “pearl,” Mai means “cherry blossom,” Lien means “lotus,” and Pham means “extensive.” Two flowers and a gem...hmm, I wonder what my parents were trying to get at there. (More likely than not it was chosen just because it sounded nice - I doubt they would’ve named me “cherry blossom lotus” if they were going for meaning.)

Genesis means “origin” and is a book of the Bible, Chantal means “stone,” and Cappellini is - I kid you not - a type of pasta. Yup, I’m named after a book of the Bible and a pasta shape. WHY, MOTHER? WHYYYYY?

Diya means “gift,” Sunita means “one of good character,” and Patel means something roughly like “village chief.” That sets a pretty lofty standard...

3. What are your nicknames/other names?

Meg! I don’t mind being called Margaret, but no one really does. Sometimes my best friend calls me other random nicknames for Margaret - I think I’ve been Maggie, Daisy, even Maisie once - but to everyone else, it’s just Meg.

Gigi. No one outside of my family and one person I’ve known since I was four even knows what my real first name is, so yeah, it’s always Gigi. Which is as it should be. A very select group of people can call me Gen, but again, 99% of the time I’m just Gigi.

I don’t really have one.

4. What’s your gender?

Author here: not going to bother with the fancy writing because they’re all female.

5. What’s your sexuality?

Author here: Gigi is straight, but the other two girls’ sexualities are totally irrelevant to the story.

6. Where are you from?

Phoenix, Arizona.

Originally from Chicago, but moved to Phoenix when I was so young that I’ve never thought of myself as being from anywhere else.

Also Phoenix. Thing to look forward to about going away to college: not being in Phoenix.

7. How old are you?

Turning seventeen in two weeks and a junior in high school.

Sixteen - I’m a sophomore.

Seventeen and a junior, like Meg, but at different schools.

8. What is your magic form/what species are you?

Human, but genetically enhanced (by accident, not experiment) - I can instantaneously predict the outcomes of situations, mathematically, when I see them.

Enhanced human - I shatter glass when I sing or raise my voice.

Human with powers - I “disappear”/turn invisible in direct sunlight.

9. What does your human form look like?

Average height, fairly thin but not tiny, very straight black hair. I’m naturally quite pale but tan easily, which I hate.

I’m very, uh...fun-sized. As in: 4′ 11.” I’m pretty petite in general but sorta curvy; I have olive skin, suuuuuper curly brown hair (VERY ANNOYING TO MANAGE), and green eyes. People have told me I’m cute but I would prefer to strike fear into the hearts of mankind...maaaybe. ;)

I’m 5′ 10″ - that’s what people usually notice about me first. That, and that I always wear my hair waist-length and in a braid. Otherwise, I have brown eyes, bronze skin, and black hair.

10. What’s your aesthetic?

I don’t know if I have one, honestly. I like things to be neat and organized, though, so I guess it would be kind of minimalistic? I really like floral things, too.

Is chaos an aesthetic? I guess not. But if I had to choose...backstage in a theater on show night. That’s my place, my home, and I suppose my aesthetic too.

Orange. Anything and everything orange. Bright colors. Fruit. You get the idea.

11. Who’s your best friend?

Phoebe Vu. She’s the daughter of my parents’ oldest friends, so we grew up together - same school, same church, same everything for as long as we can remember. We’re both very nerdy, but in different ways - she does my computer science homework, I do her biology - and we’ve been doing everything together for so long that I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

Uh...maybe Cassidy Donnelly? She’s my best friend from theater. And I’ll never admit this, but I’ve got a soft spot for Alex Allende, a guy I’ve gone to school with for eleven years and pretend to hate but very obviously don’t, too. We don’t even really get along, but he knows me better than almost anyone.

At school, I have only one friend, Jeremy Waller - he, like I, doesn’t really fit into any other groups, so we hang out a lot. But in truth, it would really be my brother, Deb (short for Debaditya, which no one calls him because most people can’t pronounce it). He’s a year older and we try to bash each other’s heads in from time to time, because siblings, but we’re extremely close. No one matters more to me than he does.

12. Would you ever get a piercing/tattoo?

Nope. Not my thing.

Uh, maybe if I had to for a role? My ears are pierced, but otherwise no.

Sure, why not? I’d get, like, one of those cute miniature tattoos, but a piercing sounds painful.

13. When are you happiest?

My family and Phoebe’s used to go to a lake house somewhere up north together every summer, and we’d always take out a boat and go tubing and shove each other off the dock and night-swim - I miss those days. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I was at the lake. Other than that, when I finally grasp a difficult math concept - I’m pretty good at it, but I struggle sometimes, and finally getting a concept is one of the best feelings in the world.

When I’m performing. Musical theater has been my life since I was a little kid and I never feel quite the same as I do when I’m onstage, whether I’m in the chorus or belting out a solo - it’s where I feel most at home and alive.

When I’m trying something new. I’m very adventurous, and I hate monotony, so I’m always happiest when I’m doing something I’ve never tried before. Routine bores me - I need my dose of adventure.

14. What’s your biggest secret?

My ability (power? Do I have powers? I guess I do). I haven’t told anyone except Phoebe - I’m terrified of how my family would react if they knew.

The fact that I might be in love with Alex, my true first name, and the real reason I had to drop out of the Spring musical - not because I ‘didn’t have time,’ but because I’d shatter all the windows if I ever sang again.

I don’t have a lot of secrets...maybe that I’m realizing, after saying I’d be a doctor all my life, that I actually hate biology with every fiber of my being?

15. What was your first impression of [each other]?

Author here: this is set a week after the rest of the things, after they’ve all met at a support group for enhanced kids.

Meg: I was a little taken aback by Diya’s enthusiasm - I’m kind of introverted, and she can be A LOT. I was impressed by Gigi’s confidence but a *little* weirded out by how blunt she could be.

Gigi: I thought Meg needed a hug (I was right) and admired that Diya could eat an entire box of Pop Tarts by herself - which was what she was doing when I first met her. Not very deep.

Diya: You know that meme where it’s, like, “I’ve only had (name) for a day, but if anything happened to her, I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself” (I’m paraphrasing here, so those aren’t the exact words)? That was me as soon as I met Meg. She is a PRECIOUS TRAUMATIZED BEAN (her parents kicked her out shortly before we met). My first impression of Gigi was “yup, she’s definitely in love with that Alex kid,” and I also noticed how extroverted and theatrical she was right away.

Thanks for the tag! I don’t have a lot of writeblrs on my radar, so anyone who wants to do this is heretofore tagged. :)

#the radiant #WIP #tag game #Gigi Cappellini #Meg Pham #Diya Patel

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abundantchewtoys · 6 years ago

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HS Epi Meat, p5 reaction

Meat Page 5.

We might be due another perspective switch - unless the plot stays with John until he's assembled all his friends.

When John goes to pick up Rose, it’ll probably be on LOLAR. Terezi might still be there, if she hasn’t gone clownhunting just yet.

If so, perhaps we’ll get to see whether Rose ‘n Terezi’s migraine was really due to the substance abuse + caleidoscopic colours of LOLAR + glitches… Or whether it was due to the GO timeline “supposed to” have gone differently, with John’s current retcon being the thing missing to happen. It takes a bit of effort, remembering what everyone was exactly up to on this part of the GO timeline and what would be a fortunate time for John to take it off the rails. For Kanaya, that might very well be the moment Jane set up her literal shop on LOFAF, selling her all those blood potions, for instance.

For Dirk, it might be before his conversation with Arquiusprite.

I'm getting the feeling that John might be jumping to exactly those moments in the scenes where the characters were at their lowest, self-esteem wise. Giving them a literal second breath. ;)

Not sure what we can expect from the ghost side of things though. I think they might not be duplicated, leading us to meet up with (Vriska) as we knew her, punk cut and all. Even though GO Terezi's ghost will be there with her too.

I'm half convinced Calliope will get copied somehow, but not entirely sure. The only 'real' duplicate Calliope had already, besides Alt Calliope, was her dreamself. He could snatch the body, but I was under the impression Caliborn consumed it in a literal sense to establish his dominance over the body.

Meanwhile, it occurred to me to that Andrew Hussie (the author avator) will make a comeback, probably a background cameo. I've only now realized that he's a literal ghost writer of his own story right now, in-canon. While outside of canon, he’s more becoming like Stan Lee, executive producing stories using characters he designed.

Anyway, let's start this up.

---

"The stands of the Cantown Memorial Arena" Okay, my first thought was this takes place on the meteor, but yeah, it's a building named presumably after the literal Cantown WV build in his station, back on Earth. Or the Exile Town that Bec Noir massacred. Though, does this indicate a perspective switch back to Roxy... Or is the CMA where Rumble in the Pumpkin Patch is recorded? Probably the latter, meaning the perspective is switching back to Dave! Uh, the alpha version, I guess I should call him? Post-canon, adult Dave?

"His shit eating was so brutal that no one, except maybe Jake, cares that he’s taking a phone call in the middle of a live broadcast." So, was it staged, or did Jake really get a power boost, coming into his role as the Page?

Also, I feel like if Karkat's run for president gets announced by Dave on live television, "and the crowd goes wild" will apply here.

"Dave takes a seat on the couch, right in Karkat’s butt groove." Okay, so he's not going just yet. ... Karkat's butt groove is available because the latter absconded the fuck out last we saw him, hahah.

"a piece of absolute garbage." Callback secured.

"DAVE: while the beatdown you just received was as thorough as it was humiliating im afraid as usual the solution to this problem should probably not involve your decapitation" While Dirk might be the one to keep this beaten dead horse of an in-joke going, Dave isn't going to be the one to cut its head off and end its misery. :P

"DAVE: jake just kicked your ass DAVE: thats really all there is to say on the matter" AWWWWW yessss, hahahahah. Dirk's laid down, on the ground, on his smartphone, just like Dave was after his beatdown by Bro. Awesome callback.

"DAVE: its really amazing how this meme we have going here continues to be exactly as funny as the day it was established DIRK: Isn’t it always though? DAVE: yeah" That's Strider Irony at its finest for you. You never can be entirely sure non-sincerity is what's taking place here.

" DAVE: how DID you get your ass kicked so bad DAVE: jake sucks and his raps are fucking awful" Oh, scratch that thing about his power level, then. ... The rapbots didn't join in to beat Dirk down, did they? ... Though I would like to see either them or their zilly versions again. :P

On the TV, Dirk makes an elegant hand sign that once might have represented solidarity with some ancient coastal rap group but now has been utterly divorced from its cultural context here on Earth C." Is it a sign associated with... the ICP? Yes, I guess whatever 'references' the kids make get picked up as divine decree...

"The camera pans away from him and over the crowd. It zooms in on a young crocodile wearing an oversized T-shirt with Jake’s highly marketable ass plastered over it and the phrase “Tally ho” written in big bubble letters." ... including stuff that was already dated when the gods were still actual kids. (By which I mean the phrase, not Jake's marketable ass.)

"DIRK: Holding back a little to achieve certain results doesn’t necessarily mean you’re participating in a farce or rigging the event. DIRK: We do this all the time. We hold back our thoughts, our true feelings, our full potential. We disguise how much we know about what and when, for many purposes. To ease relations, to let others behave naturally and make up their minds without undue intervention. To wait for the right moments to show our hands, to pick our battles. " Dirk is still overthinking things. :P He's also still a schemer, even though he's grown more mature. I think in this case, he might be trying to keep up Jake's taste for adventure and hone his skills? That might be related to the fact that he's one of the few in the know of what John is up to (also a thing he's withholding right now), and he might be trying to get Jake battle-ready in case he needs to be. ... In case he doesn't believe they'll stay irrelevant to the plot.

"DAVE: my dog you are full of some SHIT today arent you DIRK: Absolutely." It's a good thing Dave can see Dirk typing, otherwise I might have asked whether Dirk may have reinstated an autoresponder to answer when he's busy. :P

"DIRK: And when it comes to theater, there are just as many reasons for restraint. To build tension. To set the stage. To give the people someone to root against." Okay, that's actually kind of meta. Also, in-story, it might mean Dirk is deliberately trying to come off as weaker, to get people to boo at Jake so he can play hero?

"DAVE: i can see you on tv DAVE: theyre booing you dude" Okay, never mind.

"The excitable salamander manning the camera switches to a fish-eye lens for some unfathomable reason, giving the whole exchange an air of demented absurdity. Dirk’s sunglasses distort and stretch to dominate the entire screen." I'm all here for NPC races doing menial labor half-way competently. :P Also, I feel like there should be some sort of visual callback to that image of Dirk's sunglasses. Something to do with the black hole from Problem Sleuth expanding to suck the entire universe up, which was reflected in the Stiller shades, and the event in itself is being called back to now, in the Black Hole sucking up the Furthest Ring!

"JAKE: What about the agitated rabble? Theyre starting to throw things. DIRK: I don’t know. Do a dance or something. Sing a song. DIRK: They love anything you do. JAKE: Ummm. JAKE: Ok sounds stupid but ill try." Using Jake's charisma as crowd control? Dirk, you beautiful mastermind.

"Jake tips an imaginary hat toward center stage and begins doing the Charleston." Hah, right, this might be a callback to that other Page dancing old-time dances, hahah, Tavros after he assembled the ghost army.

"Just as Dirk predicted, the crowd immediately loses its shit, except for a single carapacian in the front row, who continues to glower at Dirk with an expression of absolute and total contempt." If Jack hadn't remained in the session, I would've designated this guy as his great-whatever-grandchild.

"DAVE: why do you want people to hate you so much DAVE: its fucked up DIRK: You’re reading way too much into it." I don't necessarily believe that.

"DIRK: If I wanted another round of embarrassingly indulgent and mutually masturbatory psychoanalysis, I would have called my daughter instead. DAVE: hm DAVE: do i need to point out how fucking weird what you just said was or can that start going without saying at this point" This. This is Homestuck. This entire exchange.

" DIRK: The point is, playing myself up as a villain figure in this hacky rap pageant has nothing to do with getting people to dislike me. Besides, everyone loves a good villain. When they boo, they don’t really mean it." That has me thinking of Thog, a villain from Order of the Stick, actually. But yeah, Caliborn, Condy and others were really good villains. Doesn't mean we didn't mean it when we cursed them, though.

"DIRK: I think you’d be surprised by how popular I actually am. DAVE: i dunno man" At some point, playing the villain stops being a role, if you're too thorough in antagonizing the crowd. Dirk may have gone overboard here - in his role in the pageant I mean, I don't think anyone loves their god any less. Just one more way to show that, victory state or not, their original issues still come into play and challenge them to grow.

"DIRK: The point is, this is much less about me, and more about providing a foil for Jake’s heroism and charisma. DIRK: It’s very important that his popularity continues to be cultivated, to maximize his political capital. DAVE: political capital" ... Oooooh! Thinking three steps ahead of everyone again, nice going Dirk! I think Dirk might even have foreseen Dave rallying Karkat to stand against Jane, but I wonder which side he'll be choosing!

" DAVE: what the fuck are... DAVE: ok how long have you known about the jane thing DAVE: i mean is this something you have been planning for like DAVE: a long time or DIRK: Planning is such an intense word." Oh, he's trying to pull the strings again, is he? What game is he playing then, what policies does he want to instate, if any? ... Is Dirk a supposed xenophone too, or just playing to the tune of the largest group of swing voters?

" DAVE: jane is a shitty candidate dude DAVE: shes going to be so shitty DIRK: I thought you’d feel that way." ... Pfff I just realized Dirk wasn't typing, since this was a phone call. He's saying this all out loud! Typing's the old way of conversation, we discarded it for the most part, everyone has their Gift of Gab now. Well, hopefully at least Dave's part isn't being recorded and broadcast.

"DIRK: I respectfully disagree. DAVE: i get shes a good friend of yours and all but even you have to admit how far up her own ass she is DIRK: Of course. I consider it to be among her best qualifications for the job." Dirk might just be thinking: a self-absorbed candidate won't notice being pulled around. Even though she's, you know, his dear friend and all, he's still planning on manipulating her. :/ Old habits and such.

"DAVE: christ DAVE: ok if nothing else have you at least taken into account the DEVASTATION to the economy this will cause???" Strider Irony(tm).

"DIRK: Dave, I think if you search your soul, you’ll come to the same conclusion I have. Jane is just what this planet needs. DIRK: We’ve all had our fun here, but it’s easy to overlook the fact that civilization on Earth C is hardly a sustainable proposition. DIRK: Just beneath the surface, it’s quite a dangerous and unstable place." Oh, cool, so Dirk was acting on the same things Dave noticed, just having drawn different conclusions. Guess there's more to playing god as a winner of Sburb than sitting on your butt all day long, huh?

"DAVE: i know that DAVE: which is why actually i think it would be cool to have a president that is good instead of bad DIRK: He’s not as great as you think. DAVE: what" See, I know Dirk'll say Karkat, but I kind of wish he'd say Obama. :P

"DAVE: who DAVE: obama?? DAVE: how dare you" XD PFFFFFffffhah, okay, should've seen that coming.

"DIRK: I’m happy for both of you, really. It’s nice that you encourage and support each other in this way. But you’re sending him on a fool’s errand which can only end badly." Like, I understand where Dirk's coming from, we know how unbalanced Karkat is at his worst. But Dirk's seems to be the conservatist route, while the current status quo is so unbalanced someone with at least a little liberal thinking should try changing policy, little by little. ... Okay now Homestuck has me doing political discourse. Hussieeeeeeee! ... Why am I now picturing a Homestuck AU about the climate change truant student marches of Europe?

"DAVE: wait DAVE: how do you even know hes entering the race DAVE: we like just decided this DIRK: A competent political operative has his ways. DIRK: Besides, it was always pretty obvious to me you’d react this way the moment the announcement was made." Okay, not ruling out entirely Dirk has something spying on Dave, but that would verge too much on what Bro would've done in his place. He probably just cold-mindedly assessed his potential response.

"DAVE: cause if youve already got jake on your side then i guess we might as well just fucking quit DIRK: I wouldn’t worry about that. DIRK: He and I don’t quite have the rapport we once did. DIRK: He’s “over me” and doesn’t spare opportunities to make ostentatious demonstration of this claim. DAVE: um DIRK: Basically he doesn’t like being told what to do. Especially not by me." Cool, okay, so... Jake is needy in his own way, in showing he can fend for himself, at least that's how Dirk sees it. Guess they still hang out a lot though, just no longer "like that". That must be a letdown for the shippers, but a boon for the people that felt betrayed at seeing Dirk & Jake back together in the Credits. I like that middle road, actually! And hey, the versions of Jake & Dirk in the New Game Plus timeline, or whatever we should call it, are still fair game!

"DIRK: So it’s fair to say as of now, he’s still fully in play. DIRK: Not that I should be encouraging you, really. DAVE: you are one doubletalking son of a bitch you know that DAVE: i cant tell if you dont want us to run or are reverse psychology mindfucking us into running" Very true, that. Why would he share the truth about Jake if he wants to win, unless he wants fair competition? Best not to dwell on it too long on this neverending stairway of hidden intentions, lest we fall down it.

" DAVE: not like i can just stand around and wait for president crocker to like DAVE: write fucking grammar laws into the constitution" Pfffff, yes, I had forgotten about Jane's grammar practices, hahah. Guess she has a good running mate in Dirk for that, at least, capitalization and everything in order when he's not rapping.

"DIRK: Sorry to cut this short, but diapers are starting to come down pretty hard right now, and some of them haven’t even had their babies removed. DAVE: what" what. I hope it's at least consort babies, they're arguably the most resilient, as semi-sapient animals.

"DIRK: That was a joke." Ah.

"Jake can’t help but watch the motion, raking his eyes over the muscles shifting beneath the skin of Dirk’s neck and arms.

There is something implacably magnificent about Dirk Strider, Jake thinks, untamed like a wild game beast of incredible size and strength." ... Well then! I didn't think the narration would offer us this view from the perspective of Jake, thought it would be reseverd for John! Not entirely sure how I feel about the privilege of seeing Jake pine for Dirk, though. :P At least it clarifies where the allure is in it, for him. It's an extension of his taste for adventure and his upbringing on an island full of terribly powerful beasts.

"Of course, their history together is never far from Jake’s mind, however many years it’s been since their last tussle of an amorous nature. The old dramas and triumphs in the days of Sburb. Dirk’s companionship has been taxing to the heart, to say the least, and yet he’s taught Jake so much—about combat, philosophy, life, love." Okay, that is just such a Jake thing to phrase it like this. I'm glad we get to see he's not so oblivious or un-elloquent in his mind as he presents himself to the outside world, consciously or not.

"But sometimes, despite their checkered and problematic past, Jakes wishes that he could seize Dirk by the proverbial horns and wrest him bodily into becoming a much more agreeable fellow." Heheh, so Jake actually would like to impose on Dirk some manners. At least with him it stays with desires, while Dirk really did try to impose on Jake when they were together.

"DIRK: How about you kick off the next round? DIRK: I bet this crowd will settle its shit right down the moment you drop the latest rhymes you’ve been tinkering with." This is going to be painful to read, isn't it? ... If we're going to read them at all. ... I swear, this might just lead into them having "the xest rapoff in the history of Earth C".

"Jake’s face lights up. He composes himself, adjusting a bow tie, although he is not wearing one, and making a vague gesture like he’s twirling one end of that mustache Dirk has not yet let him grow. Dirk lets him go with a gentle smile, like the sort you’d give to a dog for performing a trick adequately. Jake responds to the signal like an Olympic athlete hearing the starter pistol. He was born for this." All the best and worst aspects of Dirk & Jake as a couple are basically summarized here. I mean, Dirk is not even WITH Jake and vetoes some of his choices. Then again, Jake really does have TERRIBLE (but hilarious) taste in mannerisms.

"JAKE: Tally ho its me, jake mcgee! JAKE: Popping my pistols off, two shots and a kiss JAKE: My aim is tops, i never miss" ... I'm not disappointed, this really IS almost physically painful to read, as expected.

... Okay that was actually a very amazing rap. Well thought out, good use of the vocabulary, dated though it is. I liked "jake-eng's" and "jape-slings" in particular, especially since that was what Vriska dismissed him as, a joke, a jape.

"The crowd, as Dirk rightly predicted, has settled its shit right down. This is not due to any accidental brilliance on the part of Jake English, but rather due to an abashed but loyal brand of pity, the kind a devoted fan cannot help but feel when they see a beloved celebrity make an ass out of themselves during a live broadcast they have waited two and a half years in line to buy a ticket for." I think this might be Dirk's POV. Not everyone's tastes in rap are as dignified as his, after all. :P Consorts in particular might love this. Then again, we saw John embarass carapacians not too long ago, they're not immune to pitying people. But hey, on the brightside, maybe some of the audience <>'s Jake now. :P

"Dirk’s phone begins going off again." Unless it's something more ominous, this is probably Dave having the last quip.

"With a casual flick of his wrist, Dirk snaps out a bright red tranquilizer handgun and shoots Jake in the neck. Jake’s glasses crack when he hits the mat. A chorus of boos rises up from the crowd like groundwater. Dirk artfully dodges a bucket of obscene troll fluid to field yet another very important personal call." ... Did Dirk actually use a Crockertech tranquilizer on his co-god? What the hell, Dirk? Guess all is fair in the ring.

And I suppose it's not Dave then that is calling him this time, if he takes such drastic measures.

"DIRK: Yo Rose, what's up?" Oooh, if we get to see this, that would be early we get to see Rose again! Dirk and Rose'll probably be planning their next move now that John has left. (Which I take Rose to already know about, through her Seer powers, or a call with Roxy.) ... Maybe some of their plans only could have worked IF John left, if they wanted to regain some measure of relevance through them.

#homestuck #upd8 #reaction #spoiler alert #dirk strider #dave strider #jake english

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