#but whatever the reason they're just so sweet natured

[feluka]

every time i see a clip of someone trimming their cat’s nails i’m like oh god i lucked out with my cats huh

[astrologylunadream]

What Type of Lover Would They Be? 💌🍓🖤 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hi it's Lunadream❤️ This is a reading on your person and the type of lover they are/would be like with you!👀💋 hope you find your message🌸

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🌸❤️

Pile 1🍫

Pile 2🥛

Pile 3🥀

Pile 4🍓

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 💌

Pile 1🍫

Sign energy: Unexpected, Activity, Soft spot, Energy, Hold, Lilith, Chiron, Libra, Gemini, 1st house, Vertex,🎶💃👿🤵‍♂️

👤Your person's energy: Oh my pile 1 your person is fiesty😂😂 There is a lot of passion and energy to this pile, I know this is about your person but I am also getting some fire energy from you guys🙈🔥 Some of you could be aries, leo or sagittarius placements in your charts, my pile 1's are so irresistible!!🥰 Now this person has a lot energy physically, I feel like they can do a lot without getting burnt out, probably can work out often. On their own this person can be forward and a little impulsive but they also have a very gentle side.🥹🩷 This person tends to be direct in their thinking, for some lf you this person curses a lot😂🤬 Physically they have a certain charm about them, because they can look mean yet soft and sweet at the same time?? It just kinda comes off as hot tbh😂😭 Oh and prominent signs in their chart are Libra, Gemini, and Aries. They have a mars mercury feel to them, they could talk fast or bluntly. They do have an unexpected dark side to them, maybe they have a soft image but then they're a devil in disguise omg😈 Nothing bad but, they have another vibe to them that's really passionate and aggressive even?? Maybe they have a bit of a resting b*tch face but you think it's so cute😆 Oh hold on I'm just getting something, you guys may see this person as the love of your life, you're soft for them🥺💞💋 Other people may think they're bad news but in your eyes they're literally the sweetest thing ever.🤭🌸 This connection could be on hold for some of you, there is some sort of barrier between physical touch with this person right now for some sudden reason. Maybe someone is into healing music? Music could be healing for this person. You like the way this person thinks, they're like a cute little devil to you.😂 They may look really adorable to you when they're angry, some of my pile 1's want to marry this person💍💕 They could be toned/strong physically, random but their hand grip is very strong? Like they can open a jar or crush things with their hand?😂🫣 You may be able to spot them easily by their hands. Honestly this is just so cute🥰

🌹What type of lover they are with you: Target, Winter, Remedy, Listen, Unafraid, 11th house, Sun, 3rd house, Sagittarius, Saturn,🎱🩲🤬🫐 Lol wtf are these emojis help- Umm so your person would be the type of lover that's like a best friend, they might would want to be friends first before getting into the relationship with you.🙃 Despite their forward approach to communication, when it comes to you they would be the BEST listener omg this is so sweet😭💖 Like they would be all ears for whatever you have to say💬 it's just so cute because it really felt like they're the type to cut people off easily when they talk and not take time to listen but PILE 1 when it comes to you they will never interrupt you🥺💕💞 They are naturally a very fun type of lover with you, they would be brave and daring in their attempts to win you over😆 Like they are not afraid to make any bold moves or mistakes.💪😎 In a relationship with you, they are like the shining sun keeping you warm in the cold winter. They may try to befriend your friends, and talk about how lucky they are to have you🤭 Your person would be giving sibling, best friend and lover energy all at once. But as childish and bright as they may act with you, they are also a very dominant type.😳❤️‍🔥⛓️ So like one minute they're joking with you and then the next they're choking with you (if you know what I mean!!🥵) Yeah also they're the kind of lover that's very handsy in a relationship with you, they may always wanna have their hand on your shoulder or other places😭 They might be a little reckless around you, simply because they get all bright and excited when they're with you🥹💖 But they are also the kind to take you seriously when needed, like they would really commit🫶 They may be the kind to tell dirty jokes with you, just throwing it out there to get your reply🫣 So basically they can be really fun and silly but also hot af with you😭⁉️ I see them smirking all the time and nudging you, as your lover they would get very intense when you two are alone❤️‍🔥⛓️ Also they may love arguing with you then suddenly making out with you??😳 AHH Yeah I can definitely see that for your person, they're the sweet and funny type but can be dominant and aggressive with you if you want it😈😰😭

💌Messages from your person: What happened? Let's take our time, I wish I could control it, Someone will love you, It's all real (Omg yess pile 1 it's reaaal🥰) Extra cards: Spell, Mean, Submissive, Mutable, Skill (Some of you may be mutable signs, Pisces, Virgo, Gemini, Sagittarius✨️ I love this connection you two have it's really something special🌹)

Haha this pile was A LOT omg!!😂🩷 Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🥰❤️

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the chocolate emoji~🍫 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🌸🌹💌

Pile 2🥛

Sign energy: Tea, Twin flame, Imagination, Darling, Rebellion, 3rd house, Vertex, 5th house, 9th house, 11th house,🤗🪸🥠🫧

👤Your person's energy: Ah they're very attractive aren't they?? Some of my pile 2's have a lot of fantasies about this person🥺💭 This may be a twin flame/soulmate connection to you, they feel like your soul twin🩷 You may interact with this person through social media/online, I am getting lots of mirrored energy. Prominent Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, and Aquarius in their chart.✨️ I feel like this person makes you very happy, you just want to hug them😢💖 I am getting water energy from some of my pile 2's, especially neptune placements.🔱💕 This connection feels fateful to you guys, maybe you've even been manifesting this person?🙏 Tea may be significant, also for some of you this person could be from a different culture or background than you. They could also have a thirst for traveling to other countries.✈️ Maybe their beliefs are a bit rebellious? They desire to befriend people of different countries and ethnicities. They have a charming bright aura and smile made of sunshine, also you are friends with this person or want to be!!🥺🩷 This person may have a unique way of speaking or communicating with others, some people may find it strange but you find is intriguing.💬✨️ For physical appearance, maybe unique hair. They are giving an eccentric and creative vibe, they may be into unusual music or art. They have strange tastes for some of you, a lot of manifestation from this pile. If you're manifesting this person just know it's working!!🥰 The fortune cookie emoji is very promising, there is the working of fate for this connection. Soulmate/twin flame vibes take what resonates~💞

🌹What type of lover they are with you: Daily, Situation, Inactivity, Benefits, Feminine, Aries, Earth, Chiron, Sagittarius, Air,🕸🧖‍♀️🦥🧊 Okay interesting so the first thing I'm noticing with your person is that they are the type of lover to do considerably feminine activities with you, like going shopping or pampering yourselves.💅🛍💖 They may be very helpful if you two ever trave to another country, maybe they speak a language well? And you can benefit from that with your person🤭💫 You may also have many travel benefits and opportunities when you're with them, as well as learning new things. I can see that your person is the type to go pretty fast into the relationship with you, they might just start dating you kind of out of nowhere that's the vibe I'm getting from your person lol😂 They may try to take really good care of themselves, wear expensive clothes and look good just for you✨️💗🥺 There is this energy, like they may be really worried about having a relationship come to a stop or just die so like they try to do as much as they can to keep you interested every day😭 They are a bit clingy, so they are the type to have their arm around you a lot.👀💕 Some of my pile 2's this is a very feminine person when in a relationship with you, they may act as the feminine in the relationship.♀️ I do see you two doing a lot of sweet activities together, self care is something you both share.💝🪞🧼 You two could get caught up in some petty fights sometimes, but then they just hug you and cuddle you making it hard to stay mad at them🥹🙊 I can see this person being protective of you. They may enjoy buying you products for you to use, like nice bathroom products✨️🧴 Wow it's like this person knows you so well because they are into similar things, also, they may like to touch your thighs a lot. I can see them wanting to grab your leg often when you two are dating.😭😨💞 For those who this is a masculine they have a lot of understanding and respect for you guys🥺 Like they are not afraid to seem less masculine by sharing the things you love, like if it's what pile 2 wants it doesn't matter to me <3 I'm just getting such soft and sweet masculine vibes for those, this could be a sort of relationship that just happens somehow. Like situationship kinda thing.🤯 For some of you this person may be a little jealous of you?? There is some competitive energy here. Ohh but you guys make such a cute couple, like a very feminine one.😘💞💅 I can just see you two buying cute clothes and spending time doing your favorite things together!!

💌Messages from your person: So what, I like the pain, Just say the word, I'm in trouble, Don't waste your time (For some of you this person feels like a situation won't work out, they may be having negative thoughts about this connection😢 It could be a sort of masochistic view on the relationship, like they want things to go wrong for their suffering. This person may have a lot of emotional wounds, also they could feel they aren't good enough for you like "just give up on me" kinda thing🥺💔) Extra cards: Protection, True, Indecision, Slow, Trial and error (Ohh but it's true that they wanna protect and heal you guys, but they're just really confused, like they feel so slow and can't make up their mind right now!!😫💗)

Wow I didn't expect all that🤯 Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🥰❤️

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the milk emoji~🥛 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🌸🌹💌

Pile 3🥀

Sign energy: North node, Learn, Locked, Good, Hard, Water, North node, 7th house, 2nd house, 1st house,🪃❤️😁🔗

👤Your person's energy: Ooh lovers energies in this pile!! OH MY this could be someone you are meant to be with💖 Signs for them are Libra, Taurus, Aries.. Venus placements! Oh also water signs. They could have a pretty voice, very clear and nice.🗣✨️ Some of my pile 3's will come in contact with this person soon, most likely a phsyical encounter soon!!🤗 This is a romantic option for you guys, you may consider this person to be the love of your life.💐 You feel very connected to this person, romantically this person may be committed to you in some way.💍🩷 This could be a twin flame/soulmate connection for some, there is a lot of love and attraction to this person.🥰 North node came out twice I just realized, so there could be a lot happening really soon or in the future with this person? Actually that's very promising, this is a very loving and sweet person.🥺💕 They could be a water rising, also may have soft skin. This could be someone who always comes back to you or always will, because they are linked to you in some way. It's like no matter what they will always be connected to you guys💗🔗😱 Definitely romantic feelings for this person, my pile 3's are in love with them omggg🥺 You could be dead set on marrying this person. Also you may be possessive over this person, like you want them to be yours only.💞 Ugh I can just feel so much love and need for this person, you guys are so soft for them😭 I also feel like some of my pile 3's are actually already in a relationship with this person, but not all. This person is very physically attractive, they could have venus on their rising too.🫢💋 People may consider them a good kisser? Lol dunno why that's coming through, they may have very kissable lips. Something about this person is heavy, they feel very grounded and calm. You may learn a lot from this person or the other way around they may learn a lot from you, I see a lot of growth in this person.🩷 Their physical appearance is coming through a lot, I feel like you guys just can't control yourselves around this person like you just wanna touch them so bad LMAO👐😭 Something is definitely going to happen soon with this person, lol there is just so much romantic energy thrown in my face with this one you guys love is written all over this person😂 You are also very excited about them, they make you all giddy and cute💗

🌹What type of lover they are with you: Lack, Risk, Rest, Emotional, Affection, 5th house, Eros, 3rd house, Pisces, 4th house,❤️‍🔥🪐🛎🕹 Ohhh pile 3 this gooood😍❤️ This person as a lover is passionate, romantic and caring. They will want to play and have fun with you, very teasing and charming🩷 The relationship is filled with love and attraction, they're the type to shower you with compliments and tell you how attractive you are to them🌹💖 They are very affectionate as your lover!! The type to embrace you lovingly and kiss you as much as you'd like🥺💋 They're such a flirt with you, but it's so genuine??😭 Like it literally comes from their heart and it just pours out of them how much they love you.❤️ Now this person may conceal these feelings or restrict themselves from affection towards you, they could feel it is immature or irresponsible to indulge in that as the please. (But they really want to😩) The beginning of the relationship might would start out very difficult for them to show their love, because they would be denying it. But as your lover this person would eventually let loose and give in to all the many desires they keep locked away because guess what, they can't control themselves with you🤪🙈❤️‍🔥 They are really a wild and passionate lover with you, so romantic it's crazy. The type to cuddle you tight and rest with you, taking naps with you aw🥺💞 But also they talk a lot with you, like they won't shut up or stop flirting with you😂 Persistent af. They also want to control you and have fun with you like you're their toy🥵 Also they enjoy teasing and playing all sorts of little games with you. They're the type to make you feel loved and comfortable then suddenly they pin you down and catch you by surprise😭🔞 I won't go into everything but they definitely are a very VERY passionate lover with you. Like they want to turn on a lot, very risky with you. But also emotionally attached to you, they are really sweet but also really naughty.😳❤️‍🔥 You guys are connected on a soul level, they get so hot with you oml. Oh my pile 3 they are really into you as a lover, also they're very entertaining and love your attention.👑 The dynamic you guys have is literally everything😭 They are a lover that would desire you, treat you so good, and spoil you. Warm hugs and hot kisses, also they would commit to you. Like they only see you omg, you are the object of their affections.😍❤️❤️❤️

💌Messages from your person: Anything please, I'll do, How do you think I feel? We're compatible, You make me nervous (Omg your person knows you two are like 🔥🔥🔥🔥 Also they're down for anything but also hella nervous about you🥺💞) Extra cards: Dominant, Catch, Orange, Fake smile, Tangled (Yeah they want to catch you and tie you up and much much more that I won't go into...!!!😭🔞)

This pile got crazy!! Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🥰❤️

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the rose petals emoji~🥀 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🌸🌹💌

Pile 4🍓

Sign energy: Demeanor, View, Sight, Deep, First date, 9th house, Pisces, 11th house, Water, Eros,🛸🥳🍋😎

👤Your person's energy: You guys may view this person from social media/online, a lot of my pile 4's are not present in this person's life, they could be at a distance right now.🥲 For some of you this is an online dating thing or you could be manifesting to date this person.🙏💗 They're really cool omg, they have a unique and exotic charm about them. They could be from overseas or abroad, or have traveled a lot.✈️✨️ Some of you keep a check on this person through divinity or spiritual sources. They are knowledgeable and kind, signs in their chart could be Sagittarius, Pisces, Aquarius, and water placements.🥰💫 You have a deep admiration for this person, you may look up to them. They have a vibe about them, really unlike any other.🩷 You may have dreams of this person or that is where you see them often. This feels like someone very far away, they feel like an alien on another planet to you. That is their energy.👽🤔 Perhaps you feel very different than this person in some ways, they are mentally very attractive.💭 Some of you could be friends with this person, or they just seem like they would make a good friend. They are creative and have good ideas, you support their imagination.💡💖 This person is very fun and bright, but I'm also getting this swag about them. Eccentric and hot??😂 They just have such a fresh vibe about them, also they could have a water sign as their 9th house. Some of you watch this person from a distance like online, you may look at their page often but remain unseen.🤫 They could be a bit of a rebel, like they dyed their hair or dress different than how they were told. Something about them is just different, and you really like that about them omg🥰

🌹What type of lover they are with you: More, Doctor, Uranus, Uniqueness, Hot, 5th house, Virgo, 1st house, Mercury, 6th house, 🔚🌇🗒🏍 Lol this person's gonna get handsy with you guys- OMG so they would treat you really special, unlike anyone else.🔥 They are the type to keep wanting more more more😭😭😭 They can't get enough of you as your lover, the attractive just grows. The way they talk to you as your lover is very different than how they usually talk, like it speeds up and things get really hot🤯❤️‍🔥 They think of you a lot, also I keep getting  freaky vibes so.. uh... you know what that means😳🙊 They may want to take care of you, and mantain a healthy lifestyle in a relationship with you.🥗🩷 But also when you two are together, they feel like they can finally be themselves😇 Like they can be as weird and nonconforming as they wanna be. They feel like you won't judge them, there is a lot of communication from this person as your lover. They will talk a lot with you, the kind to talk about all sorts of random things💬😂💖 In a relationship with you, this person is witty and entertaining. Like you will never get bored with their conversations🩷 They might overthink about you though, especially if they think of something they shouldnt😳👿 I can see them writing down every detail and quirk about you they love😇 They would find you so fascinating, because to them you would make them feel not so strange. Aw they would feel so accepted by you as your lover, you heal them really.🥺💞 They are the type to touch you a lot, this could be very often😳 They could like holding hands with you, also holding your waist. For some of you I can imagine you guys start dating online first, but only some.🤳🩷👀 Also they're the type of lover that loves taking selfies of you two together😍 Also just taking photos of you in general would be their favorite hobby~ Oh and uh... filiming whatever else they find interesting😳🔞 They are the kind to tell you "you're perfect" or "you look so hot" while you're just like eating chips and watching tv lmaooo also like when you're just talking about your playlist or something they just start making out with you at the most unexpected times HELP😂🥵 Like they wouldn't even give you a warning they are an unpredictable lover to say the least, but it's hot.❤️‍🔥

💌Messages from your person: I would hurt whoever hurts you, You can't control me, You can do it, I wanna steal your kiss, You know I love you (OHH pile 4 you better knowww🥵🥵🥵) Extra cards: Inspiration, King, Sugar, Unhealthy, Waist (They have some crazy fantasy about you guys oml🔞 Didn't I say they would wanna grab your waist? Well it's here oml that energy is raging that's all I'm gonna say😭)

Okayy that was fun!! thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🥰❤️

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the strawberry emoji~🍓 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🌸🌹💌

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

[werecreature-addicted]

tentacle monster pumping you full of bimbo juice?

himbo in this case but horny is as horny dose.

Who doesn't love a hike through monster-infested forests? yeah yeah, you read the signs warning you about all sorts of beasts, but truly there were no more beautiful mountains than these ones. The grass was always greener on the other side of the barbed wire "no trespassers" fence. or- however, the saying goes.

You have to sneak in late at night. Perfect for watching the stars and the moon. You hike toward the top of the mountain through the thick foliage. Humans aren't supposed to be here, so there aren't any trails. Even though it's dark, you walk easily.

You're almost breaking through the trees to see the glorious night- then you trip. Normally you're as surefooted as a mountain goat but you go straight to the floor, knocking the breath out of your lungs. you try to stand but whatever you tripped was caught around your ankle. you try to pull your boot free but the clump of greenery tightens its grip. At first, you think you just stepped in a thick of weeds, then the growth of plants starts climbing up your legs.

You watch in fascination as a thick green vine breaks free from the regular plants and slides up your thigh dipping under the fabric of your hiking shorts. You're so interested in this incredible plant, then it touches the edge of your boxers and the Fear clicks in like a switch being flipped.

You jerk back and try to escape but the vine wraps around your thigh squeezing painfully keeping you in place. More vines sprout out of nowhere and wrap around your arms and other leg, pulling you spread eagle. Another vine slides up your neck, caressing your face, you open your mouth to scream and the vine slips into your mouth, pressing hot and heavy against your tongue. Something sweet spills onto your tongue. You don't want to swallow the sap but it's choking you. So you swallow.

Again, it's like a switch being flipped. You have no idea what you were so freaked about you feel great. The vines are so pretty, they're warm and feel good against your skin as they strip you out of your clothes. You don't just feel good, you feel horny. all you can think about is how needy you feel, how much you want to get fucked right now.

The vines slither over your chest and down to your exposed sex. One vine pushes inside your dripping pussy, and another wraps around your T-cock. You moan loudly, the sound of your pleasure only muffled by the thick vine still in your mouth.

You lose track of time as the creature fucks you mercilessly. You can't keep track of how many times you cum either. But that's okay, you reason. This monster can do the thinking for you. All you have to worry about is your pleasure.

Eventually, the creature lets you down, leaving you naked covered in sap-like cum. You blink dizzily. The sunlight of a new day blinded you even though it was night when your journey started. the only thought left in your fucked out mind is "Nature really is amazing"

[luveline]

idk if this is interesting enough for a prompt, but stripper! reader (w/ either aaron or spencer, your choice :) ) where they get worried because they see her with large bruise on her side but really she just got it from a hard fall practicing a pole trick lol

ty for requesting! I thought it was more than interesting my love, 1.1k

cw past implied domestic/workplace violence

"Can I make a cup of tea or something?" 

Spencer lifts his chin before his gaze, hanging onto the line he's reading until he's finished somewhere manageable. Finally looking up, he says, "Sorry, what?" 

"Can I make some tea? Do you have anything like that? Or coffee?" you ask. 

He almost slips standing up. "I'll make you tea." 

"No, I can make it, you're reading. I just wanted to ask before I went rooting through your stuff." 

Spencer's smile is shiny, pretty, all manner of things. It says Don't be silly. "You don't have to ask, help yourself." He nudges you in your bad side. "Of course you can have tea. I'll make it." 

You wince at his contact but follow him into the kitchen without complaining. You're sick of your own narrative —yes, you're a stripper, yes, it's hard work, and you know these things but you're tired of having it be the constant identifier of your life. You really wish work stayed at work, but the half metre contusion spread up your ribs like a formidable stain won't go away. You want something warm to wash down a few painkillers and hopefully you'll fall asleep on his couch. Spencer doesn't make you go home when it gets late and you hate asking him if you can stay. Easier to knock out on his couch and have him throw a blanket over you. 

His mind must have drifted to the same place. "Did you wanna stay the night? It's getting kind of late." He opens the kitchen cabinet above the toaster oven for two mugs, and the cabinet below the sink for his stove top kettle. He peeks at you from over his shoulder when you fail to answer. "Or I can drive you home?" 

"I'll stay. Better chance of survival." 

He does that adorable nose-wrinkled frown. "I'm not a bad driver." 

"Do you have any of my cookies left?" 

You wouldn't usually ask, but you paid for them last time you came over, so you figure it's okay. 

"Sure, they're in the cabinet by the bread bin," he says, moving to the sink to fill the kettle with tap water. His face flicks between you and the task at hand. 

You open the cabinet above the bread bin, double doors creaking on their hinges. Your cookies are in a tupperware container on the very top shelf at the back. He'd probably tell you something about mould or weevils if you asked why they're up out of reach, but you're more focused on getting a sweet treat than anything. You'll ask later. You can listen to him talking until you fall asleep. 

"What is that?" 

"What's what?" you ask, though any further questioning is interrupted by your yelp, a cold hand touching your naked stomach as you set back down on your heels. 

"What happened?" Spencer asks, your shirt held by his pinky finger as his thumb moves over the bruise. It's like he's hoping it's make up to be rubbed away, and he's horrified when it stays undisturbed by his gentle touch. "Who did this? I swear, I'll–" 

"Your hands are cold," you interrupt, taking his hand in yours, peeling it off of your stomach. "And it's kind of tender, Spence." 

"What happened?" 

His tone leaves no room for jogging around. You're not reluctant to tell him for whatever reason he might assume… You and Spencer used to live very close to one another, and you'd see him at the local grocery store, a small place, without saying much. He'd smile at you. Occasionally say hi. Until one day your eye was swollen shut from the force of a cruel hand and he asked if there was anything he could do. So Spencer knows intimately how people have managed to hurt you, and he worries because it's his nature to worry. 

You'll have to tell him what happened, even if it's embarrassing, in order to wipe the concern off of his delicate features. He's angry and scared and sorry, and he has no reason to be any of those things. 

"I– okay, I wanted to practise this twist thing that Stassia showed me," you begin, meeting his eyes with bashful reproach, "you don't have to be so worried. I was practising, or trying to, but it gets cold in the private room and I was shivering and my hands were aching, so I thought I could put on my sweatpants and try again but, you know, you need the–" 

"Friction," he interrupts, looking down at your bruise with a rather ironic smile. "You fell off of the pole?" 

"Yes, and you don't have to sound so happy about it." 

"I'm not," he says, rubbing at the sore fat of your hip apologetically. "I'm glad it wasn't, you know, what I thought it was, but– I mean– how hard did you fall?" 

"I thought I broke my ribs." 

He laughs. It's as soft as his touch. "I bet you did…" 

"Any more touching and I'll think you want to tip me." 

Spencer laughs and winces simultaneously, dropping your shirt back into place and neatening the hem "Right, sorry." He steps back half a step before stepping forward again, his arms quick to wrap around you in a sweeping but brief hug. "Thanks for telling me." 

"Super sarcastic, Dr. Reid." 

He peels away from you to light the stove unsuccessfully. Your side is throbbing at being remembered, your head with embarrassment, and that cup of tea just isn't coming quick enough. The phantom of his fingerprints linger.

You follow Spencer to the stove and push your hip into his, pushing the stove top knob in with the sparker until it catches. 

"Don't make a joke about my hands." 

"I wasn't going to," he says earnestly. The back of his knuckles touch your elbow. "You could tell me the next time you do something like that. You should. I want to know if you have a bruise the size of a watermelon." 

"If I told you every time something was wrong with me we'd always be talking about what's wrong with me," you say, though you press your cheek to his shoulder appreciatively. 

"Good," he says simply. 

"Good," you repeat, surprised. 

You stay like that until the kettle whines, your cheek on his shoulder. Oddly, it's as though you've taken a weight off.

Spencer gives you the princess treatment for the rest of the night, as though helping him make dinner or washing the dishes will stop your bruise from healing. He even pops out to the store for a tube of arnica. It's, shamefully, one of the best days of your entire year, easily making the top ten, as most days with Spencer tend to do. 

[b1rds3ye]

I really love your masked reader headcannons!! Especially the LED mask ones. I think it’s such a fun concept and the way all the boys react/ accommodate the reader and their preferences is so sweet!

So idk what your familiarity to Star Wars is but there’s a people (Mandalorians) who traditionally wear armor that covers their faces and bodies pretty much all the time. As such there’s something called a kelblade kiss and what that is is when two mandos press their helmeted foreheads together as a way to show affection when they’re all armored up. I was thinking about this and how the 141 would react if the masked reader leaned their forehead against them in lieu of kissing their cheek in a moment where they wanted to be affectionate but leave the mask on? If you have thoughts I would love to know! <3

OMG THIS IS SO CUTE!! I was raised on the og Star Wars trilogy, even the prequel 3 by George Lucas but I've completely fallen off since Disney's taken the reigns 😭😭 BUT YES I know Mandalorian I didn't know they had the little kiss thing though IT'S SO SWEET TO IMAGINE

Any physical contact with Price is generally rare when he's on duty, it comes with him just being busy and the natural commanding presence as captain. But when you first press your forehead against his, John's initial confusion gives him a respite from the stress of the military now that his entire focus is on you. It seems he needed the affection more than you did. Now your little forehead taps are his lifeline. Your mask always gets his bucket hat tilting off angle, the front rim a little crumpled when you pull away, but it always leaves him wearing a fond grin that is for you and you alone.

It's a little awkward trying to do it with Ghost, not only is Simon inconveniently tall but his own hard mask makes such a gesture of affection have the tact of a kid shoving the faces of two plastic dolls together. Simon is solid and immovable, and is far too entertained by you nearly self-concussing as you tap your forehead against his, stumbling back in a slight daze. Still, the intentions aren't lost on him and they're very much appreciated. He doesn't do them back, but in more serious moments, he lets you stay, forehead against his. He can't see your eyes but he makes sure you can see the emotions swimming in his.

Soap absolutely adores them! It's your own little form of affection and he loves the little quirks that come with your mask. But for whatever reason, he's taking your little forehead touch as a competition. "Did nae feel a thing!" Johnny would complain, taunting you to go harder next time. At this rate he's just asking to be clobbered across the head but he believes that if it's from you, that's a damn blessing and whatever bruise that comes from it he'll wear with pride. He always reciprocates in kind. It's more of a headbutt with his over-enthusiasm but he must have a forehead of steel or something because he always pulls away beaming.

Your little forehead taps always leave Gaz giggling and bashful. It's been a little harder as of late since he now wears a cap with a hard brim, for a while Kyle thought your lack of recent "mask kisses" was because the two of you had unfortunately drifted apart. He now foregoes the cap whenever you're around. When you enter the room he gives an exaggerated bow down to you, jerking his head up to signal to his forehead and he won't move an inch until you greet him with a forehead tap (this also happens if you ever have to leave the conversation). He tried to give a forehead tap back once but he was a little too enthusiastic and needed frozen peas to the head for the rest of the day.

Call of Duty Masterlist Masked Reader Masterlist

[lazyjellyfish300]

One Cabin Ending 🫶🏽🪵🍃🌳

Miguel O'Hara x AFAB Spider-Woman Reader

Synopsis: after the little show you gave him, things start to heat up that night. Some nighttime shenanigans and a sweet ending soon follow..😏 word count 2.2k

Part 1 , Part 2

A/N: NOBODY ASKED FOR THIS, I'M JUST FEEDING MY OWN DELUSIONS AND I'M TAKING YALL WITH ME. 🫶🏽🖤😇😁

TW: MINORS DNI, FANTASIZING, SMUT(P IN V, HANDJOB, ORAL M AND F RECEIVING), STREAKING, PUBLIC SEXUAL ACTS(I MEAN YALL ARE IN THE WOODS ALONE TOGETHER THO) SLIGHT ANGST, FLUFF, alcohol and drunkenness

----

Thinking about how dinner that night after that passionate christen to your relationship causes the air to hang heavy with mutual tension. How neither of you can bring yourselves to look the other in the eye for longer than a second, despite knowing exactly what the other looks like when they're engaged in the filfithest of acts. You've seen what this man looks like when he cums, and it's so fucking hot. 

Thinking about the unspoken desire that's sitting in the empty chair at that dinner table, how you can't help but envy the spoon he brings to his lips as he sips the warm broth, wishing they were massaging the sensitive skin of your neck while you cooed underneath him instead.

Shock, how alluring you looked when the wine in your glass clung to your lips, leaving them shiny, a deliciously tempting feeling you'd leave behind in his mouth when you weave your wine ladden tongue with his, not stopping until he could swear you'd leave him drunk, and not because he consumed any of the alcohol tonight himself. 

He didn't have to. 

Those eyes and those curves and the way you cried out for him earlier was pure heaven. Maddening melody he replayed over and over in his mind until he realized that he needed to hear it again. But this time he would be directly responsible for drawing it out of you.

The trick was conjuring up the bravery to do it. He was stubborn. He'd face off with plenty of formidable foes and monsters from his time as a superhero but cowered and hid when it came to the shadow of his own vulnerability. 

The updates in your relationship together were mostly physical, the foundation rooted in carnality, but, believe him when he knew, it was deeper than that. This man witnessed the heart of your personality, even if he was on the receiving end of the not-so-pleasant parts. He knew you could be as headstrong as he was and weren't afraid to challenge him. He admired you a lot for it, the facets of your personality he used to find annoying became endearing. Maybe it was the setting sun or the forced proximity of being alone in such a remote, yet beautiful corner of nature that drew him closer to you, but it didn't matter. He was willing to stick around and find out regardless of how long it took. You had him hooked and he didn't plan on letting you leave anytime soon. 

You're looking at him with similar intrigue. You're steadily draining the wine from your glass at the same rate dopamine is quickly replacing it, making you feel brave. 

"Wanna do something fun?" 

Thinking about how he smirks at you, then shakes his head, blaming the fact that you're just tipsy and it's late as his reasoning for not wanting to indulge. In his mind, he silently hopes you'll push back, and you do, but not in the way he was expecting as you're so boldy doing right now as you stand up and begin to unbutton your long flannel, strutting towards the door with a playful look in your eye.  

He just leans back in his seat, his face growing hot as he watches you walk away, closing his eyes for a moment to consult his long neglected faith, whatever scrape of it remains, to give him the strength to not do anything foolish tonight. 

Thinking about how his willpower evaporates quicker than the clothes off your body as he goes wide eyed at your nakedness in the moonlight. Your boldness of stripping down, watching the darkness swallow your bare body in the shadows, and the way the chilly air highlighted your skin, particularly your breasts, in a sea of goosebumps. The whole thing was unbelievably sexy. 

Thinking about the way you leaned in so close to his lips, telling him he needs to lose the clothes he's wearing if he wants to come any closer. 

Shock you don't even need to touch him to drive him utterly insane.

Thinking about how you're getting warm between your thighs as you watch him slowly pull his clothes off his body. That stupid goofy grin on his face and the blush in his cheeks makes him look so innocently adorable despite the fact you both were literally about to go streaking together in this quiet, night-stricken woodland. 

Thinking about how Miguel's mind is a train racing steadily off the track. Shock, you're making him lose it. Shock, was he really about to run naked through the forest with you? Shock, the hold you have on him all because you wore a white flowy sundress, soaked by the creek and because he allowed eyes wander and you happily let him do it. 

It lead him to wonder what you looked like up close, leading to him wondering what you looked like when you were experiencing true ecstasy, when you were gracing the highest peaks of arousal, wondering about how it's going to be so satisfying when he takes you in his bed tonight, if this night keeps traveling steadily in this sexy direction you both know it's going. 

Thinking about how the adrenaline is surging through you as you race off into the night. The superhuman speed in your veins propelling you along the forest floor as you gleefully try to dodge Miguel who's close behind you, moonlight kissing his features making him look oh so enticing that your head snaps back to its original position, your eyes lingering on him a little too long causing you to almost lose your footing. A mischievous smile painting your lips as you weave deeper and deeper into the leafy canopy of trees akin to this growing and blooming attraction between you and who you originally thought to be your all-business, grumpy mission partner.  

Thinking about how his eyes before were a peaceful cardinal but now they're an unbridled vermillion, a metaphorical wildfire burning through these woods as he runs after you into the night. He has to close his eyes, only for a moment as the waves of cold air rapidly hitting his face with his inhuman speed send pulses of excitement through his body.

This life you've breathed into him has brought him to a place within himself he didn't know still existed. An extinguished flame he thought was long forgotten with the tragic loss of his daughter. Never thinking the match that would reignite it laid in those enchanting irises of your eyes and your damned smile that had him risking it all on this fateful mission in the remote country. 

Thinking about how he playfully corners you at last, catching you around your bare torso. As soon as your exposed skin meets his, it's all over as you begin passionately, frantically, desperately kissing his lips underneath the woodsy clearing of pine trees, the sky magnificently littered in dusty clusters of burning stars.

Thinking about the bewitching forest chill prompting your bodies to press even closer together, groaning and moaning at the heat coming off his skin as it's being transferred onto yours. 

Thinking about he's gently squeezing you around the throat as he slides his tongue in between your lips, moaning when his assumption that your wine-laced mouth would taste just as sweet as he imagined was absolutely correct. 

Thinking about how mesmerizing his face looks as his mouth falls open when you start stroking his cock and now he's bucking his hips against your hand, begging you to go faster as your foreheads press together. 

Thinking about how his face is utterly burning, the desire and heat rising in his body as he briefly looks around while you're sucking his cock in this moonlit environment.

 It's completely silent.

The moans he's making and the naughty lewd act that's taking place wouldn't be known to a single soul besides the depths of the trees and the two people lost inside it, making this scenario even more steamy as he bites his lip. 

Thinking about how a short time later he's groaning loudly as he's struggling sooo hard to focus on putting one foot in front of the other as he carries your naked body across the threshold of the cabin while you're sucking the life out of his neck.

The dial on his self-restraint is completely shattered at this point, and he might not even make it to his bedroom before he just fucks the soul out of you right here on the kitchen table. 

Thinking about the salacious screams you both let out as your wet cunt beautifully hugs his cock for the first time. 

Thinking about how butterflies erupt in your stomach when he nestles his face against your neck and whispers frantically in your ear how good you feel and how he's always wanted to do this as his grip tightens on your hair and as your nails press down into his back. 

Thinking about how any anxiety you had before about your appearance or how you've landscaped down there or lack thereof hasn't even crossed your mind once as you watch him devour your aching sex in his mouth. His tongue painting your clit in utter worship, vibrations of his deep voice stroking against the plush inside of your thighs. 

Thinking about how he's losing his mind at how well you're riding and grinding on his cock. One of your hands caressing all over your body as the other pushes your hair in front of your face in an erotic display, and he can't resist the urge to seize your hips and fuck upwards into you. 

Thinking about how he only stops when you lean forward and distract him with deep kisses, his cock nice and wet, warmed by your velvety arousal deep in that pussy as you both drown in each other's lips for several blissful moments. 

Thinking about how a chemical reaction takes place in his brain when you confess you've always loved him when you come up for air, how the cherry in his eyes glistens so brightly as a gorgeous smile spreads across his face. 

Thinking about how beautiful you look when he whispers back that he feels the same way. That this is completely crazy but he doesn't care. Let's end this night together and get back to business in the morning. When this mission is over I'm coming back for you to take you home with me for good. 

Thinking about how this first fuck isn't about fucking anymore, your bodies moving passionately in this log cabin are molding an act of love. 

The strokes and thrusts of his cock are deep and long. The kisses are greedy, wet, and passionate. If the cabin were made of glass it would be utterly fogged with no vision available to the inside, completely covered by the haggard and strangled breaths that are leaving both of your lungs as you simply can't get enough of the other's body. 

Thinking about how those stupid, flimsy rules in the beginning are long forgotten as you lovingly and powerfully make love to this beautiful man in this quiet cabin, a neverending string of dirty talk mixed with the sweetest nothings filling your eardrums as a new position gets added on top of the last. 

Realizing that all the ways you can take this man's cock is limitless. Your pussy wetting with a surge of delicious excitement when you realize the spider powers you both possess mean that you're not going to get tired or a blink of sleep anytime soon. 

Thinking about how in the morning, your dynamic has completely changed and instead of just a mission partner, he's your best friend for life as you giggle over a fresh pot of coffee. 

Thinking about his love for you tripling as he watches you wrestle that pesky anomaly in the dirt and tie it up with webs, realizing he's gonna need to put a ring on that finger. 

Thinking about how you both are sad when you walk through that portal back to Nueva York, knowing that it'll be some time before you can be together again. 

Thinking about how the trials and things you went through together through the past year or so are completely worth it as your eyes get blurry with tears at the sight of a gorgeous engagement ring in a little black box. 

Thinking about how excited you are for your honeymoon as you look up at your new husband as you leave the state office building with a fresh marriage certificate from your elopement with a giddy heart, asking him where he's taking you. 

Thinking about how he smiles and kisses your hand, knowing he's taking you back to that cute little cabin in the woods, returning with a new mission in mind, to start that new family together you always dreamed of with him. 

Thinking about how you'll return to that cabin several more times in both of your lifetimes to get away together and leave all your worries behind. A complex and beautiful love developed in the simplest of locations until the gray in your hair starts to match his. 

Thinking back to that one cabin in the woods where it all started as you look at the older man sitting on the park bench next to you as he pressed a soft kiss into the back of your hand, the little voices of your grandchildren playing on the playground bringing you back to a blissful reality you built together. 

----

🏞️

[astrologythingzzz]

Astrology observations 🩷

These are my first observations ever. I've studied astrology for quite a long time now, so I thought maybe I'll give it a try. 🩷

8th house suns / stelliums really experienced a traumatic upbringing/childhood and I feel like both parents are aloof and not very comforting

They also get along very well with scorpio suns/ scorpio placements or in general water placements

Do virgo suns and mars kiss very aggressively with tongue or is that just my experience 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Pisces rising men are the "pisces men" you all always talk about. They are the worst

They are stoners, they don't get their sh*t together. They kind of don't know how to deal with their sensitivity?? I only met aggressive, dominant and self absorbed pisces rising men.

This can also sometimes apply to pisces moon men. Especially paired with earth in their chart

I know a girl that was born in the evening of October 23rd. She insists on being a libra, even though in reality she's a scorpio sun. She miscalculated her sun sign and put 8am instead of 8pm (her birth time)

You absolutely cannot change her mind about that. She even downloaded co-star where it says that she's a scorpio sun. But she doesn't believe it. She even said " I don't care, I'm still a libra sun"

That's kind of a typical scorpio sun trait, they are very stubborn (because of their fixed nature)

Gemini risings can appear very fake. They aren't necessarily, but they're hardcore people pleasers, they need attention like the air they breathe. They wanna be involved in every friendship group possible. They love standing in the limelight

This could also be because of their leo ic (some gemini risings have leo ic, some have virgo ic) but the ones with leo ic were the star at home. Their parents always let them shine, they didn't have to dim their light at home. So now they're used to it.

If unevolved those leo ic's can be too pleased with themselves and even self-absorbed

Pisces suns cancer moons don't always have to be the "sweet innocent cry baby🥺" everyone makes of them. They can be loud (especially with a fire rising) they are extremely ambitious (because of their cardinal moon) and they go after whatever they want.

Gemini rising is a model placement. The long limbs, the bright eyes, the strong hair. MODELS

Also, there are no cusps in astrology. You're either one or another sign, but never a mixture of both. That is the exact reason for degrees in astrology!

You're either 29 degrees of any sign, or 0 degrees of the next.

If you feel more drawn to the next one, it could be because of personal placements in the next or prior sign or because of aspects that have the "vibe" of this sign.

But please let's eliminate cusps completely from astrology🩷

Astro.com and the app TimePassages are amazing for getting to know yourself and learning about astrology!

That's it for now, I hope everyone could resonate and please know, these are just my observations. They aren't meant to hurt anyone!! Please take everything with a grain of salt. 🩷

Also English isn't my first language so please don't be mean and feel free to correct me on any mistakes!

Hope you liked it, byee🩷🩷

[thefantasyden]

HYBRID SEUNGMIN WHO DOESN'T K N O W HE'S A HYBRID

I needed to get this ramble written down so that I can use it for a future fic. Not sorry about double seungmin posts because it's good stuff. Mention of breeding.

Sweet Seungmo has no clue because he has no physical characteristics :( all he has are some really strange instincts and the urge to bite people when he's cranky. That's normal, right?

The group decides to adopt a hybrid so they have someone to look after the dorms when they're gone (though they also appreciate always having someone willing to cuddle them!) And seungmin doesn't know why he feels so weird around you.

The puppy hybrid they adopted has a love-hate relationship with poor Seungmo because something is just OFF about him. You don't know what it is, but he smells stronger than the other humans. He smells different.

Sleeper hybrid Seungmo just needs to be around you all the time! He's obsessed with you, and he has no idea why! Maybe it's just because you're so pretty and kind. Either way, he has to work really hard to hide it because he feels different around you, and he doesn't know if that's a good thing.

Sweet puppy hybrid is struggling with their first heat since being in the house :( you're hardly about to jump anyones bones, but the cramping and fever is hell and for whatever reason, you feel like they MISS Seungmin.

Seungmin would bring his suffering friend snacks after you got into a fight with Changbin because he ate your leftovers and you'd ask so quietly if he could stay with you :( poor baby just needs his company.

Seung slots himself behind you in bed so that his back is resting against the headboard and you can comfortably continue your show while his hand presses against your tummy. You keen at the touch because he's so WARM, and it feels so NICE.

Seung doesn't realise that his other hand is rubbing circles on your lower back. It just feels natural for him to want to ease some of your pain!

You don't realise you're pushing back against his lap until he's hilding your hips, gently calling your name. You apologise profusely andnas so embarrassed, but not as embarrassed as Seung is when his teeth graze the spot where your neck and shoulder meet as he mumbles about how good you smell.

You lose control for just a second when you ask him to help you and Seungmins mind is foggy, moving his hands to your thighs as you ramble about how you know you shouldn't be asking for help it just hurts and you don't know why it's so much worse this time around but it feels so good when he touches you!

Seungmin feels his self control slipping a little when he asks where you wants him to touch you, only repeating his question with the addition of his teeth at your neck once again when you ramble apologies in response, not satisfied until your hand is guiding his between your legs.

Poor baby just leans against Mins shoulder and whines as he helps you get off, nibbling at your neck and lapping his tongue over your sensitive skin until you're cumming all over his fingers.

Seungmin has trouble facing you the next day until you're texting him asking if he's mad at you. How could he be mad at you? You drive him insane, but he could never be mad at you.

He's tasked with keeping an eye on you while the older boys are gone to make sure that you don't need anything and he can't resist you pleas for him to come cuddle when you see him peaking into your bedroom, your eyes watering a little and absolutely melting his heart.

Seung falls asleep spooning you and is so confused when he wakes up to you griding against his shamefully hard cock. He's at war with himself trying to decide if he should stop you, but then he hears you sniffle and you're whispering his name, practically begging him to help you and he's a goner.

Unknowing Hybrid Seung catches you off guard when he starts growling at you, biting softly at any exposed skin as he presses himself harder against your ass, feeling himself nestled against your pussy. It doesn't take very long for him to have you pinned to the bed as he fucks into your, rambling about how he wants to breed you and keep you for himself forever. He doesn't want to share you. He can't.

[bravo4iscool]

Levi Baby🖤

The way I adore you for pairing Simon with a Chubby girl. I bring a thot to you if you're interested:

Bodyguard!Simon Ghost Riley x chubby f!reader

- He's newly retired , gets asked for a favor from Price for a friend's kid

- Said kid is a mid 20's thicc woman who is all business since she's a lawyer in Human Rights and involved with the UN.

- He thinks she's going to be a snob based off looks bc girl loves to dress and she does it well, she observes Simon as he is. Brooding, Haunted and Self Assureed with a drizzle of dark humor but loyal.

- They get off on the wrong foot [Simon was being an irrational ass forgetting his manners and respect], reader isn't scared of him and doesn't take lightly to being disrespect3d for no apparent reason.

- They're holed up living together under the radar since the thr3at to reader was pretty big seeing it was world leaders

- They're going to have to learn to live with each other, where Simon barks orders - reader is anamused and calmly condescends. He can't even get annoyed bc she's antisocial and a houseplant but he's trying

- doesn't help that he's so.so attracted to her.

*make this as suggestive as you want (give ghost heart attacks with her choice of home clothes please. We know he's touch straved, emotionally constipated and needed a therap session.

Make her stress him out by confronting all of that in her short fiery demon way please.

I hope your new year is sweet Love💋

oh lord. oH LORD. how can you write this and not think about me fainting😭 THIS IS- URGH- AMAZING AHHHQGACQGQVQZQZAVQ!!!!

i hope i can do this justice😭 normally i try to imitate simon’s accent but bro… i was just too tired to do it now, so i hope you can forgive me for that🥲

KEEP HITING ME WITH STUFF LIKE THIS OH MY GOD😩

not really happy but i tried my best :) also not proof-read!

(masterlist)

REQUESTS/ASKS OPEN!!!

“There’s no but’s!” Simon argues while almost dragging you—his protégée—along the hallway inside the safe house. “You’re in danger and it’s my job to protect you!”

“I’ve been perfectly fine on my own before,” you argue, trying your best to wriggle away from his grip. You hated it when he manhandled like that.

He turns around, his eyes fiercely staring down at you and you feel like they’re piercing through your soul. “Have you ever had the Taliban threaten you, huh? Or fucking ISIS? I don’t think so; so stop whining and follow me!”

You want to argue with him, tell him he’s not allowed to talk to you that way but damn, you knew he was right. Ever since you started working for the UN you’ve been threatened—you were getting used to it—but only by small groups not someone like the Taliban.

“We’re gonna stay here until the threat is eliminated for not serious anymore.” His statement leaves little room to argue but you’re itching to say something anyway. It’s wasn’t your nature to just shut up. You were a lawyer, you were used to arguing.

You grimace as you force yourself to accept your fate. You didn’t want to but in the end you knew Simon was right. So, you follow him, an annoyed look on your face. You hated it when he was right.

“It’s only temporary,” he grumbles as he kicks a door open and pushes you inside. “It’s not like I want it, okay?”

You only roll your eyes, throwing a halfhearted ‘whatever’ at him and inspecting the room he hauled you into. “This is where I’m gonna stay?” you ask him, a slight hint of defeat in your voice.

“Pretty much, yes. I’ll be on the other side of the hallway,” he explains, leaning against the door frame. “In case anything happened, of course,” he immediately adds; just so you don��t get a…wrong picture of this whole thing here.

“We got wifi here?” is you next questions when you turn to look at him, your arms crossed in front of your chest.

“No wifi. No contact to the outer world,” is his answer and you feel your blood start to boil.

“You have to be kidding me! How am I supposed to work then?” You throw your hands in the air, letting out an angry huff. “You can’t just cut me off civilisation!”

He only shrugs. “I can and I will. Work can wait, alright? Your life is more important now.” Again his voice leaves no room to argue but this time you won’t take it. You put your hands on your hips, looking up at him.

“You think that’s how it works? Then, please Lieutenant Riley,” you spit out his rank “fly over to the dozens of war criminals and tell them to stop too! Oh wait-“ you act shocked. “That’s not how it fucking works! You can’t expect me to sit still and look pretty while the world drowns in injustice!”

“Would make things a lot easier tho,” he mumbles under his breath while pushing himself off the door frame. “Just…do something that doesn’t require wifi or anything like that, alright?” Before you can even think of an answer he leaves, shutting the door behind him. Why the hell was he treating like some little child?

~

“How old is she?” Simon wants to know as he hands his old Captain the picture of you back. He’s sat on a chair, his legs spread, one arm resting on the back rest.

“Mid 20s,” Price answers, placing his folded hands onto the table. “She needs security and her father’s not really…trusting the usual companies; and since you’re nearly retired I thought you could use the job.” Simon holds Price’s gaze and nods along. “He trusts me, therefore he trusts you. She’s a lawyer, heavily associated and involved with the UN and human rights.”

“What are the details?” Simon slightly tilts his head, curiously raising his eyebrows.”

“24/7 protection. The full package. You’ve done it before,” Price explains and Simon once again nods along. “Before you take the job tho-“ he pauses. “She’s, well… she’s a lawyer Simon. You need to know what you get into.” The Captains gaze hardens, his back straightening. “She won’t like that she’s on protection detail, therefore she’ll be treating you like that.”

Simon only smirks, flipping his well kept coin between his fingers. “There’s nothing I can’t handle John. I’ve met people like that before and I was perfectly fine.”

Now Price was the one smirking while shaking his head. “I know and I don’t question your abilities but she’s a civilian—the one you’re protecting. You can’t handle this the way you’ve handled other subjects before.”

“I know what I’m getting into,” Simon assures in a calm tone definitely not knowing what he was getting himself into.

~

“Fucking hell,” Simon mutters when he first sees you. You’re walking straight to you office—the one he was sitting in—involved in a heated talk with that seemed like your secretary.

He’s able to make out single words but well, his hearing wasn’t the best anymore after nearly 20 years of military service. And now he thinks he probably should’ve stayed in the field.

The way you’re waking and talking and dressing just screams ‘snob’ at him. He slightly lowers his head to gaze at you, once again playing with his coin. Maybe he should’ve declined the offer and taken on the underground wrestling instead. Would’ve been more fun for sure.

As soon as you spot your guest you send your secretary away, bracing yourself for the following conversation. You weren’t a fan of getting security and you definitely weren’t a fan of the fact that it was a friend of your father’s friend and he—apparently—was everything but easy.

“Lieutenant Riley,” you greet him, extending your hand to him. When he stands up to his full height you slightly crane your neck; the professional smile still on your face.

“Ma’am,” he greets in a gruff voice, the skin of his hand raw and calloused as he return the handshake. “Pleased to meet you.” He isn’t. He just wants to leave but he brought this on himself so he needs to finish it now. ‘One year’, he told himself. ‘Then I can quit.’

“I can only return the pleasure,” you smile, clearing your throat. “Would you mind sitting down at my desk?” You ask, pointing towards said desk. “I think it’s easier to discuss business over there.”

Simon agrees, towering over you as he makes his way over to one of the chairs in front of the desk. You take place behind it, carefully straightening your blouse. He needs to warn himself not to stare. Fuck, why were you so pretty? A pretty little snob…

~

“This has to be taken seriously!” Simon raises his voice at you, successfully blocking the door of your office.

“This is nothing I haven’t dealt with before,” you argue with him, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “So please, Simon, let me get out of my office and back to work.”

He huffs, “Not a change. You’ll be staying here until the threat is cleared.” He glances over his shoulder, loving and hating the fact that you had a glass office. “Are these bullet prove?” he asks, looking at you again.

You sigh, “No.”

“We’ll have that changed,” he immediately answers and you start to shake your head.

“We’ll have nothing changed! You weren’t hired to renovate my office!” You walk towards him. “Now, Mr. Riley, please step aside so I can continue working.”

“Not happening.” He straightens up to his full height, expecting you to back off but you do the exact opposite. You swat your finger at him, looking up.

“I don’t care what you think, you will stay here; if you want it or not.” His voice is stern and stoic and you need to do your best to not full on scream at him.

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that,” you hiss, your index finger jabbing his chest. “I can make my own decisions, I’m a responsible adult. So don’t you dare talk down to me that way!”

When Simon doesn’t make a move you let out an angry huff and shake your head. Then you turn away and stalk towards your desk. “Fucking military man,” you curse under your breath, ignoring the way he stared you down.

~

You stare at your open suitcase, debating what to wear. On the one hand, you kinda were on your own, on the other hand, Simon was with you.

You were comfortable in your body—no question—you actually kinda liked the extra cushions but sometimes you felt like Simon was staring at you. Like he wasn’t able to take his eyes off of you and that made you…feel something. Something you were afraid of.

“Ah fuck it,” you say under your breath, fishing out some shorts and a shirt. You could care less about what Simon thinks. You both are only work related. Nothing else.

You tap down the stairs, walking straight into the kitchen. “You want something to eat?” You ask Simon, glancing at him when you hear him enter.

“You willing to make some?” he jokes, expecting you to say ‘no’ but when you say ‘yes’ his eyes widen and he pauses for a second. When you notice it you let out a small chuckle, opening the fridge and multiple cabinets to see what you could make.

“Any friends that’ll miss you?” he asks once you place a plate in front of him, looking up at you with curious eyes.

You shake your head, “Nope. Not really.” You sit down opposite of him, grabbing your fork. “Too busy to have friends.”

He tilts his head, blindly picking up the food either his fork. “No boyfriend?” He knows you don’t have one. You have no dates, no flings, nothing; but he wants to hear it from you. Maybe then his fantasies wouldn’t be so forbidden…

“Please,” you laugh. “We’d be divorced before we even married.” You take a sip of water and look at him. “I don’t have time for relationships and that kind of stuff. I have a target to pursue. Ain’t no time for distraction.”

He only nods in an understanding manner, playing with his beer bottle. “And you?” you ask. “You got someone?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. I’ve got you to deal with. That’s enough.” He smirks when he sees your facial expression, letting out a low chuckle. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for,” he continues joking. “But no. I don’t have anyone. Never really had.”

“Oh…” you say in an almost pitiful tone and he hates it. It not that he couldn’t get someone. He just didn’t want to. That’s a big difference. “Well not really different for me,” you then snort, slightly grimacing. You had this one guy ask you out for prom but that turned out to be a bet rather fast and after than you decided to not to date in school or university anymore.

Yeah sure, you were more chubby than other girls but that doesn’t mean that you’re not lovable, right? By now you were comfortable in your body—you were in your mid 20’s—but sometimes you felt yourself slipping back into the insecure girl you once were. The one who thought that no man would ever lay his eyes on her in a lustful or loving manner.

Simon’s itching to say something; to ask why you don’t have anyone… You’re perfect. You’re nice—even if he hated to admit it. You’re pretty, you’re so fucking soft… Did the men around you not see that?

“Simon?” You wave your hand around in front of his face, chuckling when he slightly flinches, his pupils blow. “Are you alright?” you carefully ask, eying him as if something was wrong.

But he only clears his throat, “Yes. Everything’s fine.” Then he hastily stands up and nods at you. “Thank you for the food.”

You watch after him as he leaves, a frown on your face. Was he really okay or was he just lying to you?

Simon on the other hand was probably turning red as a tomato. How could he allow himself to slip like that? Fuck, he needed to keep himself better under control.

As soon as he reaches his room he shuts the door and leans against it while opening his pants with shaking hands.

He had a—growing—problem and he needed take care of it. Now.

-

Approximately one week into the lockdown Simon finds you in the living room, crouched over a bunch of files and documents.

“What’s that?” he wants to know, looking over your shoulder.

“Work,” you simply reply, taking notes and pushing the papers around. You were so close, this close to finally finish this case but something was missing and it stressed you out.

He slowly nods, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “And how did you manage to get these files?”

“I’m a lawyer Simon. I have my ways and connections,” is your plain answer and you can basically feel him tensing behind you.

“What if they give away your location,”

“They won’t.”

“How can you be sure?” He tries his best to be calm but god, you were testing his nerves. He gave you strict orders and you were supposed to follow them.

You turn around with an annoyed sigh, looking up at him. “Because my father brought me those. You think he would sell me out to the enemy? I doubt so.”

You raise your eyebrow, waiting for any other complaint by him but be only looks at the files behind you, then at you again. “Maybe check the mission reports of the special forces.” With that he leaves you alone, more than confused.

You know why Simon told you what he told you when you find what you need exactly there. The mission reports were sitting somewhere beneath everything else because you didn’t pay much attention to them; in the end they were the solution.

Now you could finally link the crimes to someone and with that to the government or the military at least.

The next time you see Simon you almost jump into his arms, thanking him over and over again. “Now the case is finally closed,” you tell him with a big grin on your face, completely forgetting that you’re usually not so happy when around him.

Simon just awkwardly pats your back, pushing you off him and ignoring the burning desire deep within him. He knew it was risky to give you a tip but you were struggling and he didn‘t like that. He just hoped that you wouldn’t ask him why he knew that you should look at the mission reports. Once you knew that he was a war criminal this job would be over. And while you certainly were a pain in the ass sometimes he felt a very present attraction towards you.

-

Simon realises he’s a goner when he wakes up one morning and sees you walking around in a shirt. Just a shirt, as far as he can see and it does something to you. His hands are itching to touch you and he finds himself excusing himself more and more to the bathroom.

And you? You started to notice the kind of power you have over him and it makes you boast with pride. You, a chubby little lawyer in your mid 20s, has him, an almost 40 year old retired military Lieutenant, wrapped around your little finger.

After that you decide to play a little game. Wouldn’t hurt, no? Just subtle touches. Brushing his arm when you walk past him, patting his chest when he helps you with something, your legs touching his whenever you sit beside him.

He tries to shrug it off but you can practically feel how worked up he gets and how hard it is for him to keep him shit together; and that fuels you only more. How long would it take for him to break? To crumble beneath your touch, huh? You wanted, no, you needed to find that out.

Simon knows what you were doing. He isn’t stupid but he hates it. How was he so weak that you were able to play with him like that?

After a week, maybe two of you dancing around him he has you caged in against the kitchen counter, towering over you.

“What makes you think you can just play with me like that, huh?” he asks in a low voice, his eyes scanning your face for any reaction. “You think it’s funny? Working me up like that every day?”

You try not to be intimidated—or turned on—by him but god, he’s just- you don’t have any words for it. He’s tall, broad and fucking strong. You once got a look at the muscles under all his clothes and you weren’t the same after that. Nu-uh.

“I thought you like it,” you reply with a cocky grin, trying to overshadow your uncertainty. “Do you want me to stop?” You blink at him, acting all innocent and pure. In the corner of your eye you see his grip on the counter tightening. Oh, you had him where you wanted him.

A ‘bloody hell’ is all you get before his lips crash down onto yours and he heaves you on top of the counter. His hands find their way to your hips, scarred fingers tracing them and squeezing, wanting to pull you even closer.

The moment his lips touch yours you forget everything else. This is want you wanted—needed—for weeks. And lord, that man knew what he was doing.

You weren’t a fan of him dragging and pushing you around but right now? Right now you couldn’t wish for anything else. You bury your hands in the dirty kind strands of hair on the back of his head, gently pulling at them which results in him groaning in your mouth.

“Take me to the bedroom and maybe I’ll stop teasing you,” you breathlessly tell him once he breaks the kiss only to kiss you again immediately making you all hot and tingly.

You can feel him smirk against his lips before they trail down your neck towards your collar bone. “Ain’t gonna take you anywhere love,” he whispers and you’re able to once again feel him smirk against your skin. “Gonna fuck you right here on that kitchen counter. You want that?” he looks up at you through hooded eyes, which makes you swallow.

“Words love, words.” His tone is playful even tho you can see the desperation in the way his hands move all over your body, letting you see stars already.

“Yes…please,” you almost choke out, feeling like everything you want to say is being swallowed my your throat again. You’re unable to talk.

“That’s what I wanted to hear,” Simon teases, straightening up to kiss your lips again, cupping your cheek. “Gonna take good care of you,” he promises. “I’m gonna show you how a real man treats you,” he swears and you can feel a familiar but also unfamiliar heat building in the pit of your stomach.

(i got scared to write the rest👍🏼. i’m sorry, i’m still new to writing smut😭)

[sykokilljoyy]

If reqs are still open, could you do w2s harry x golden retriever!Reader? Like she’s just always happy and overjoyed? I’m curious to see their dynamic

WROETOSHAW X GOLDEN RETRIEVER!READER HEADCANONS

a/n: i am in love with whoever sent this anon. i love people w golden retriever energy they're my favs so this is my fav y/n concept ever ever. also quickly learnt i have no idea how to spell retriever it's so hard for no reason. love u all!! more writing coming soon x

firstly, this man is cuddly. i don't care who you ask, he's a real life teddy bear and i'm not accepting any arguments

so when it comes to you, and your very apparent love language of touch, this sweet man cannot stop his arms from opening to you.

2am, 6am, 11pm, no matter when, and no matter the reason, he can't deny how persuasive your giddy grin can be, and the puppy dog eyes, of course

you're his biggest supporter by a mile

he makes some toast?? round of applause for this man

you're so proud of him no matter what

and you make it so obvious, which he appreciates beyond words

you both come as a package

wherever he goes, you go – happily, with a smile on your face

to summarise the dynamic, it's a lot of heart eyes

the first time you both went public with the relationship, on a Sidemen Sunday of all places, the comments consisted of basically a lot of;

'oh my god the way they look at him is so cute'

'i can't get over the way they look at him'

'Y/N IS ADORABLE I CAN'T'

harry is a big gift giver

sometimes it's hard for him to convey his emotions with words, he can struggle with affection from time to time

but when things get hard and he can't tell you how much he loves you, you'll come home to a beautiful necklace, or tickets to a concert from favourite artist, or a romantic getaway somewhere expensive

you hop excitedly into his room to thank him

he's sitting at his desk, nervous, hoping his gift is telling you what he can't

him seeing your bright, loving smile and the buzz in your eyes makes his whole body relax and he finally finds the words

“i love you so much, y/n”

you jump to him, face buried in his neck, and he can't deny that the feeling of your embrace makes his heart sore out of his chest

one morning, after a long day the day before

you’re laying in his bed, barely conscious, your eyes still misty from sleep

immediately, you feel harry’s arms pull gently at your waist, bringing you towards him

his lips are on your cheek, hands touching your skin softly

he can feel your smile without even opening his eyes

“you know you reach for me in your sleep” he whispers, his voice is still haunted by sleep

“because i love you, and you’re always warm”

“you’re like a golden retriever, you know”

he feels you smile wider

the only downside of this dynamic, is when arguments arise

conflict is always natural in a relationship, and you do understand that

but you wear your heart on your sleeve, and your admiration for your boyfriend is so strong that when it gets rough, and maybe communication gets skewed, you find it incredibly hard

if he needs space, you find it difficult to keep your mind from him

you give him whatever he needs to get his head straight, and he does the same, but it rattles you a little, not being with him when you need to the most

but when he calls you one night, with his tone warm as honey, asking how you are, that he's missed you and he's ready to talk things through, your heart fills with happiness and relief

overall, it's the sweetest dynamic, and harry adores it

you're a bundle of joy with a heart of gold, and the love you have for this man, you're never secretive about it

he wouldn't ever change it for the world <3

[frogspond200]

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚂𝚒𝚖𝚘𝚗 𝙿𝚎𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚔𝚘v 𝙾𝚗𝚎-𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝

Requested by: Anon

Ask: Can we get a yandere Simon Petrikov one-shot please? (It can be any scenario you want it to be, l'm not picky):))

Warning: general yandere behavior

Date: 9/4/2023

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Our story begins in the Land of Ooo, where Simon Petrikov, once a kind and gentle archaeologist, is now consumed by the Ice King's madness. He spends his days collecting trinkets and artifacts, desperately searching for a way to regain his sanity.

Upon laying eyes on the reader, Simon is immediately captivated by their presence. The reader's appearance, demeanor, and even voice remind him of a time long gone, the 2000s when life was seemingly more straightforward and ordinary. As the story progresses, Simon's obsession with the reader intensifies, bordering on dangerous infatuation.

"They're perfect" Simon whispers under his breath. He begins to feel a strong compulsion to do whatever it takes to make the reader his own. He starts to devise a plan to make them his, no matter the cost. He knows he must act fast before someone else takes them away.

"Excuse me!" Simon catches up with them, waving his hands in the air. "I-I'm Simon" He pants catching his breath. "Simon Petrikov, you look... nostalgic to me...I-In a good way!" He chuckles. He looks good, even handsome with his dark brown messy hair. Simon looks friendly and kind, with a warm, inviting smile. He has a soft, gentle face, and his eyes sparkle with kindness...

His demeanor was warm and inviting, and his voice was gentle and soothing. He gave off a comforting aura, and it was easy to tell he was a kind and caring person so you introduced yourself back. "I'm Y/n"

"y/n..." He whispered under his tongue. It tasted like sweet natural honey in his mouth... It was clear that he was taken aback by your presence. His eyes sparkled with admiration and a hint of surprise. There was no way you would never notice his true obsession with you. He nervously shifted his gaze away, as if he was afraid of revealing too much.

His cheeks were tinted with a faint hue of pink, a sure sign that he was blushing. His lips curved into a shy smile, and he muttered a soft 'yes'. That he finally found someone like him...who couldn't wrap their heads around this fucked up reality, and he wanted to keep it that way.

He wanted to keep them safe, and he wanted to keep them close. He wanted to protect them, and he wanted to make sure they were happy. He wanted to keep this moment between them forever. And he was going to. No. Matter. What. Even if he has to keep them, even if he has to kill them. He was going to do whatever it took to make sure they were safe and happy. He was going to make sure that nothing would ever tear them apart. He was determined to make this a reality.

You were woken up around 3 a.m., and your body was craving something to drink, so you got up and went to your kitchen in your PJ shorts and an oversized shirt you bought for no reason except that it was bigger than you. You opened the fridge and saw a bottle of water placed there some time ago. It was still cold and you gulped it down in one go. You felt like someone's eyes were on you, making you tense.

Then there was a knock at your door, opening it you saw Simon who looked like he hadn't had any sleep, he was sweating, his hair more messy than usual, he was fidgeting with his finger, he mumbled "I'm sorry for what I'm about to do y/n" you tilted your head. He threw something at you. You can't remember what, you just remember seeing stars before everything turned black.

You slowly gain consciousness, rubbing your head and groaning. You ran your head over your neck, no chains or collars...Then your wrist, nothing...you glided your hands down your body...clothes still on. No bounds, cuts, or bruises. "I'm not that curl dear..." You snapped your head towards the voice, moving away. You couldn't see him due to the lack of light in the room but you could hear him. He stepped closer...

The more you moved back, a hand came into your vision. It brushed a messy strand out of your face. "Are you alright?" it asked calmly. A face came into your vision. You didn't wanna look at it. You had an idea of who it was but you didn't want to admit it was him. He would never do a thing like this. Right? You looked down at the white sheets around your body. "Why?" you asked. Your voice wasn't loud or pissed. It was weak and heartbroken.

You heard a sigh come out of his mouth. He didn't say anything. He just grabbed your hand and squeezed it gently. You knew he was trying to tell you that everything was going to be alright, even though you both knew he just fucked up your relationship with each other. You felt a wave of emotions sweep over you and all you wanted to do was cry, another cry escaped his lips and he sat on the bed, bringing you closer to him, even when you tried hitting his chest and pushing you away he kept you against his chest, running his finger through your hair whispering things like "It's gonna be ok" and "I did all of this for you"

You continued to cry and he held you until you had no more tears left. He kissed your forehead and let you go, looking into your eyes with love and understanding. He wiped away your tears. A smile crept onto his face. It wasn't a possessive one.

He took your hand and slowly pulled you towards him. He hugged you tightly and whispered, "It's going to be alright, dear…You're safe here with me. and with me alone." He kissed your lips gently. His lips felt warm and loving, like a comforting blanket of security and safety. His touch was gentle and reassuring, urging you to relax and take some much-needed comfort...

[beanghostprincess]

I just thought of this so you have to, too.

Buggy being genderfluid but the Roger crew not really giving a flying fuck about it. Who cares how you dress so long as you're still you? Yeah, sure, go apeshit, just be loyal, strong, etc. You're one of Us and your pants or lack thereof doesn't impact that.

The crew disbands.

Shanks and Buggy get smth of a culture shock once they are no longer in that protective bubble. Buggy is getting hateful looks, comments, snide remarks. Shanks is at his side, completely taken aback and honestly pretty pissed. Buggy, on more Femme days, faces more animosity, misogyny, and it's astounding to the former apprentices who different men and women are treated. And if you can't tell by a glance, people can get so upset?? What the hell????

Buggy refuses to be anything but themself/himself/herself, depending on the day and vibe. Shanks refuses to comply with this newfound social expectation to be rude and mean for no reason to innocent people.

The Grandline is the most progressive of the seas, due in part to the natural insanity it breeds. The Blues aren't as open, but the East is the more chill of the four. Buggy chooses there for many reasons, but the Big Top and crew is open to any sea. There's an information network, smuggling division, crowdsourcing area, etc.

Shanks will drop tips at places he visits for Buggy to get a foothold if they don't already exist, and Buggy will drop tips for Shanks regarding pertinent information for adventures, expectations, and etiquette.

It's a good dynamic. They go for years like this.

Buggy's stint in Impel Down was.... not fun. Aside from the misgendering, general torture and absolutely overwhelming energy there, it was stifling.

Marineford was a hot mess, but by the end, Shanks offers Buggy a ride to the Big Top's docked location, and on board, he just leads Buggy to this little chest in his cabin. Says, "here, take your pick. You wear whatever is most comfortable for you." There's a dress or two, a few skirts, tops, pants, shirts, and while most of it is in different sizes, there's belts and loops. Buggy bites back tears when they find their old skirt. They'd left that one on the Oro. How did Shanks even get this??

The time skip goes down, and by the time Cross Guild is running, Buggy has had to decide between masquerading as a Cis person or just... being themself. One morning, they wake up and everything feels too TIGHT, too STIFF, too much and she's left eying her leotard, half skirt and thigh highs.

...

Well. If she dies, might as well die authentic.

Crocodile and Mihawk nearly do a spit take when she struts out of her tent or into the announcement hall. She is a bit nervous by this, but she has COMMITTED.

It... also helps that so many of her men are singing her praises and Ritchie is bouncing happily, Mohji and Cabaji are smiling, Alvida is giving an approving nod-

She's happy. She's not going to let fear rule her, even if she can feel the gazes of two very powerful men tracking her every breath.

((They're not mad, they're fighting every urge to swoop her into a kiss and maybe more, but also the fact that WHO GAVE THE CLOWN THE RIGHT TO BE SO HOT??? IT WAS BAD ENOUGH BEFORE, NOW THIS????? they're not good at flirting, they cannot HANDLE this-))

I adore this. Buggy being genderfluid is actually so important to me as a genderfluid person-- My beloved. The concept of cold reality suddenly hitting them both (because they were so, so supportive back at the Oro Jackson) when the crew disbands is so good. Shanks is extremely protective of them when that happens, refusing to let anybody talk shit about Buggy. It's just so sweet of him. Tbh, it hurts so much to think about Buggy having to hide that part of himself,,, But then they come out to Mihawk and Crocodile and it's not only that they support them but they also absolutely love them. These two men are having a whole crisis over a clown again (as usual). But yeah, it's actually really sweet to see Buggy finally being free with them in that way,, Thinking thoughts about Crocodile going full mafioso with money and buying Buggy all the clothes she wants (he does it more for himself and Mihawk but yeah).

[petrssecrethideout]

"Bro, do you wanna hear about something crazy?"

"I mean sure, go ahead,"

"Alright, so I was just relaxing, scrolling TikTok,"

"Already a bad idea."

"I know, I got beef with that fuckin' algorithm let me tell you. I follow a couple of bodybuilders, post a couple of gym vids and suddenly my For you page is filled with the biggest assholes alive. Anyway, I'm scrolling, and I see this guy, he's doing that whole 'alpha top dog' thing even though he's not that big."

"Okay wait pause, how big is not that big?"

"I don't know, I have more muscle in my arms than he has in his whole body, real gym influencer type."

"Alright, for anyone listening to the pod at home, I should probably just say that this guy could be anywhere from 150-300 pounds from Dale's description of him, okay? He's not good at judging what normal guys look like anymore."

"Yeah, okay, you got me. Anyway, this guy keeps going on about his great advice, so I stick around to hear it. You wanna know what he said? 'Stop Cumming, its killing your natural testosterone' What kind of bullshit is that!?"

"I mean that is a big part of the current fitness world, these guys will say anything to get more followers, and a lot of their followers are so desperate for progress that they'll take whatever advice they're given."

"It's a shame, because he's also wrong! I tried that whole 'No Nut Whatever' and its been the only time in these last 5 years that I've plateaued."

"... Really?"

"Yeah! If I'm not cranking a load out every day I can kiss any potential gains goodbye."

"Wait,"

"Like after my workouts, when I got a huge pump going, I just have to crank one out, like what good workout would it be if I didn't"

"Dale c'mon,"

"And its not like I can just hit up a guy on Grindr and go to town every time I need to, there aren't enough guys on Grindr for that."

"Uggggh dude, we are never getting a sponsor with you talking like this."

"What, so all the straight alpha dudebros can talk about semen retnetion and get a ton of followers, but I get censored for talking about jacking off and getting tons of ass?"

"Yeah, we will."

"Well then, listeners, go subscribe to the patreon so that I can talk about my actual tips for growing, and so that you can help Mark get bigger. I'm telling you, I'm gonna make this boy huge with your help. Audio listeners make sure to check the videos so you can see this boy get huge. Now bro, help me out here. You don't want those Tiktok gymfluencers to win do you? How often are you jerkin off?"

"Oh god I can't believe I'm answering this... A couple of times a week maybe?"

"A week? That's fucking crazy. My average is like 4-5 times a day. More if I'm really feeling horny. If I'm being honest I jerked off a few weeks ago on the pod, like I forgot to before I came here. One of the comments mentioned something about my grunting that episode."

"Jesus christ dude, how do you even manage that?"

"Well, you gotta work up to it. I couldn't do that starting out, but once I started growing I was so horny I had to do something about it. I think that's what these guys don't get. You gotta get those balls working, give them a reason to keep making that sweet testosterone. How are you supposed to do that if you aren't jacking it? Honestly dude, I feel like I gotta prove these guys wrong now."

"What, you're gonna be a cum warrior?"

"Hell yeah man, I'm gonna be fighting the war on jerking it, on the side of jerking it!"

[hoes4hoseok]

enhypen as midnights

txt version ☆ folklore version ☆ masterlist

it feels like it's been ages (because it's been nearly NINE MONTHS) since i've done an enhypen x taylor post but here it is! i feel kind of nervous posting this but whatever, i just gotta hit the button at some point.

sunghoon as snow on the beach

"you wanting me tonight feels impossible, but it's coming down, no sound, it's all around, like snow on the beach"

falling for sunghoon would feel so tragic at first because you'd think there's just no way he likes you back?? 😭

&& it'd consume a lot of your time just thinking about what it would be like if it did

so when you'd realize that he does when he finally tells you?? it'd feel magical

&&, not to be extremely literal, but a kiss on a snowy beach with sunghoon?? that WOULD be magical

initially, i considered having sunghoon being maroon instead of this song, so tell me what you think!

jay as midnight rain

"he was sunshine, i was midnight rain"

jay is ambitious. so for the record, i'm not saying that he isn't.

however, if you were dating him while he was already successful (aka now) & you weren't where you wanted to be, i think it'd naturally cause a rift like this song describes

&& sometimes, you'd look back & think about the life you would've had together

but ultimately, it may be for the best that you broke up because you wouldn't have been able to pursue your dreams together

(i do not wish this fate on any of you.)

ni-ki as question...?

"i don't remember who i was before you painted all my nights a color i've searched for since"

seeing ni-ki after you broke up would f with your head

not because he did anything on purpose, but because it would be really freaking hard to see him and think about him being with someone else

&& you'd hope that no one compares to what you & him had for him, because that's how you feel

but in reality, you'll never know

&& eventually, hopefully you'd move on. or run back to him? there's no moral of the story here.

sunoo as karma

"karma's a relaxing thought, aren't you envious that for you it's not?"

this song focuses on good things karma has brought to him rather than bad things it’s brought others

&& i think that’s a mindset sunoo would/does share

sunoo minds his business & good things come to him (in this case, you! you're the good thing that came to him!)

it’s been happening since i-land era we KNOW 👏(idc he was popular for a reason)

jungwon as sweet nothing

"outside, they're push & shoving, you're in the kitchen humming, all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing"

is anyone surprised by my choices for jungwon anymore? because these are so predictable i swear LMFAO

so i chose this song because jungwon seems like the type to not hold you to the same high standards that everyone else does

&& you'd be able to do the same for him, especially since he probably feels a lot of responsibility as the leader of the group

he'd give you that feeling of it not mattering what everyone else thinks because you have each other 🤧

heeseung as paris

"romance is not dead if you keep it just yours"

having a private relationship with heeseung is probably in the top 10 most romantic things ever 🫶🏽

so romantic that it feels like everything else fades away when you’re together & you’re somewhere else 😭

&& you wouldn’t have to put a ton of work into keeping that up because yeah, sometimes the relationship doesn’t feel like paris

&& that’s okay. it’s worth it for the good times :)

jake as glitch

"a brief interruption, a slight malfunction, i'd go back to wanting dudes who give nothing"

falling for jake when you're used to people who treat you like trash would feel so unreal

because that man would be such a good boyfriend <3

&& when that happens you'd kind of second guess whether you deserve to be treated that well

&& it would feel like something that isn't supposed to happen & you'd suspect that you'll return to the pattern of trash guys "after him"

but you deserve him & you deserve to be happy,, & he'd make that very clear to you in his actions and words

txt version ☆ folklore version ☆ masterlist

[thynisia-pac-readings]

[PAC - Your first date together. Please do not copy or repost any part of the reading.]

There are 4 piles. This a general, collective reading as usual, take what resonates, this is for fun! Regardless of the banner, it doesn't have to be a romantic relationship - it could be friends or relatives.

This extensive reading includes sub-questions, signs and quotes! I also read possible things about you and about them, because why not! You can take it as further confirmation that it's your pile. XD

Take a slow breath, clear your mind and intuitively pick an image or number (you can ask your higher self and your spirit guides to help you choose it).

---

Pile 1

Signs:

It's 1:11PM I'm not even joking, number 8, relating to each other, reciprocated feelings, sudden confession and realising it's reciprocated, February, Lewis

No way I just got a poem on reciprocity by Cleo Wade!!! Two messages on that; for some it's reciprocated, for others don't waste time on someone who doesn't reciprocate your feelings!

United States, North America, Mexico, area between North and South America.

Astrological placements: Moon domiant, Cancer, Jupiter dominant, Sagittarius, Pisces, Moon conjunct Jupiter. Virgo rising, Gemini rising, Mercury in Aries, Mercury in Capricorn.

Possible things about you:

Life path 7, deep thinker, big on self-improvement and self-reflection. Maybe you're into manifestation as well. You might be very pretty according to societal standards, or you like to take care of yourself and your appearance. I think you're someone very kind and caring to others too. Do you do the same for yourself? Such an empathetic soul. You're a gift on Earth my love, know that.

Maybe you want to fly away, you want some freedom and get away somewhere far, but for some reason you've got to stay where you are. It's alright, all in due time.

Some of you may like Aphrodite or Venus, or you're in that phase of your life that she rules over, such as beauty, goddess energy, sacredness, femininity, etc.

Some of you may want to be a mother really bad, you want your own baby, you love children. A small minority of you could have a child already, but some may get pregnant/be a new father in the near future. :)

Possible things about them: 2 groups came up so you may intuitively pick 1 or 2, or both!

group 1:

they're the ones who feel the same about you haha!

they may also want a child or want their own baby, that's so sweet Pile 1. very caring individuals too and maybe that's something you relate on between each other.

they may feel like you uplift them whenever you speak or are physically with them. I feel like whenever you're around, they don't have these dark thoughts anymore. Maybe you ease their anxiety naturally, without even trying. I feel like they really feel comfortable and safe with you, and whatever the future holds, they hope that you don't let go of them. Actually, they wish to not let go of you. They don't want to. They see you with such respect and admiration, they really love you in that sense. It's not just infatuation or attachment, they love your traits/character.

their love language could be gift giving or handwritten notes.

group 2:

wow, we've got an ambitious and hard working person here. very powerful and independent. wants to rise to the top, they want to be successful and go higher. they want to excel at what they do, career wise or romance. it's like Suga singing "I wanna big house, big car, big ring" (something like that lol). great at multitasking and overseeing plans, but they could tend to be a bit controlling as a result. like their work mindset spills over in the personal life and relationships. it is not very bad though, but they may not realise. For some of them, if you tell them honestly that they're being a bit controlling or disrespectful in certain ways, they will feel bad and apologise and try to correct their attitude. They're not a bad person, they want to do their best so much that they are less self aware.

Your first date together:

How - probably not in the most romantic way? whatever is going to lead to that first date is not peaceful. maybe some misunderstanding or friction has to happen for you two to take that step forward.

Where - somewhere dry or far from water. Or there's not much around, far from the city. i.e. you might go hiking with them for the first date...are y'all dating a German? LMAO. On a more serious note, if you're a woman don't go on first dates where there's literally no one around. Safety first.

What - again could be hiking, rock climbing, risky/outdoorsy activities, dates in nature...

Quote:

"Friendship is a sheltering tree" (Cornwall, L., 2015)

"When we focus solely on validation from the outside world, we end up being very easily controlled by circumstance, but when we remain humble and firmly rooted in our ever-present goodness, we can celebrate our accomplishments and learn from our disappointments without letting them be the things that define us" (Wade, C., 2018)

That's it Pile 1, I really enjoyed reading for you. Remember this is a collective reading, so take what resonates only.

If you want to purchase a reading from me check my masterlist or go straight to my listings here. discount code: TUMBLR

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Pile 2

Hi Pile 2! This is my creative pile <3

Signs:

November, teenager, architecture, museum, fashion lover, gossiping together or telling each other the crispy stuff, someone with a loyal character, someone looking after a garden or wanting to have one - maybe likes flowers.

Being a romantic, someone wants to be in love, someone has Venus in Pisces, someone thinks about love or their crush.

Be careful of trains.

Someone is going through an experience which pushes them to find their inner strength and resolve, which increases their self-confidence.

Venus trine Saturn, Venus in the 8th house.

Hawaii, Japan, Africa/South Africa cities, East China cities, South Korea, your person can be from Argentina

Possible things about you:

Pile 2, I'm getting some of you like gardening and drawing. In particular, you might like bees and are a strong supporter of saving our bees. You might have a green hand. Not even a green thumb, the whole hand lol! Some of you might have had past lives as nature spirits like faes, you might have an affinity with them or have them as spirit guides.

Some of you might know a lot about nature in general or you might even know a lot about indigenous flora and fauna, or specific species of plants. Some of you may have seen orbs of faeries outside...

Possible things about them:

I think the person you're thinking about likes fashion, or for some they might relate to you regarding nature/gardening. They might have fine features or seem delicate and gentle. It feels like looking at ice in their eyes, but it is so gentle. It is reflected in their personality as well. Very kind and calm. Number 33 on the card is jumping out to me, so you might see this number as well.

Ok definitely they are into fashion. For some, this is someone older than you. For others, your person is definitely more mature than their actual age. Like, very very mature and wise. It doesn't feel like it comes from difficult experiences, it feels like they didn't have as much of a difficult upbringing. Maybe they were naturally this way, and good parenting may have helped.

Side note, they could be a bit dreamy.

I don't usually get the past lives card but here it is, so this friend could be from a past life. Or, I'm getting they might remember theirs.

First date together:

They might tell you straight up that they want to go on a date with you. They might text you or ask you face-to-face. You guys have a good connection, very in synch. You two might be very vocal on your date, as in talking a lot and expressing yourself.

Some people in Pile 2 might go karaoke or sing at some point while you have fun together.

Some of you might actually have a unique date where you dress up, put on makeup, get all pretty and fun i.e. cosplay! You might take photos or film your date, you're going to be out there! Ooh lala so fancy! xD

It feels like it's your usual hangout as friends but somehow it's also different, closer and it's getting more realll. I.e. you might get more touchy-touchy this time, they might hold your waist or your hand, or they might kiss your cheek by surprise... Aw this is cute xD

Quotes:

"the time has always been now"

"I will not be a victim"

"you are going to be okay"

"the timing is always right to love someone"

(Wade, C., 2018)

That's it Pile 2, I wish you the best 🤗. Remember this is a collective reading, so take what resonates only.

If you want to purchase a reading from me check my masterlist or go straight to my listings here. discount code: TUMBLR

---

Pile 3

Hi Pile 3! What an interesting and sweet pile.

Signs:

November, strong friendship bond that was made naturally, finding your tribe, realising your own value and worth, sticking with your real friends, be grateful for the loving people and goodness in your life.

Neptune in Taurus, Gemini Rising.

Australia, Sydney/Canberra, Pacific Islands, Samoa, Mongolia, Kazakhstan, Russia.

Possible things about you:

You are very shy, secretive, and value personal space and privacy very much.

Some of you like to read physical books.

I'm seeing of you are teenagers, younger girls.

You are a good listener and confident, people always trust you to keep their secrets, and you will not even tell your best friend or your dog a word of it.

You keep many parts of yourself hidden, for example you are secretly very nurturing and creative. You might like little children.

Possible things about them:

I'm seeing yellow and a ball, so I feel like they really like children.

They are also like a big ray of sunlight. They are that person that illuminates the room as soon as they walk in.

They are very honest and open, and perhaps you like that about them.

They are also very warm and compassionate. They bring people in and make sure not to leave out anyone. Never puts themselves above anyone else and aways try to harmonise everyone.

Like you, they dislike discord. You just have a different way to deal with peace/discord and people. But they like your own way of being and they don't want you to change.

Your first date together:

Interestingly enough, I feel like some of you might have your first date with children around, maybe looking after some, i.e. their little cousins or siblings.

Some you might go fishing and/or have a picnic outside.

During this date, they will absolutely love how you don't hide any part of yourself, you're just being yourself and expressing yourself without restriction. You'll come out of your shell because you'll be influence by him, by the children, and you'll be super comfortable overall. You might actually have lots of fun. Scenario example of the date could be that you, them and their little cousins all go fishing, and then you have your picnic nearby; you have fun all day.

I feel like you and your date are seemingly opposite but actually very similar within. You just express yourself differently and process things differently. You might even be a ENFP/INFP or ENFJ/INFJ duo.

Quotes:

"Shepherd-like compassion means considering the benefit of the masses first, so that we place others first and 'I' last". (Yuthok, L. C., 2005)

Aw that's it Pile 3. Thank you for reading. As always, this is a collective reading so take only what resonates and the general ideas with you.

If you want to purchase a reading from me check my masterlist or go straight to my listings here. discount code: TUMBLR

---

Pile 4

Signs:

October, fake friend, chasing after someone's love - love is to be received, not chased after, someone wise and mature, compassionate, someone who likes include everyone and whose motto is "we're all in this together"

Someone here has to let go of someone that does not deserve them.

Someone here could receive a letter from the person they are thinking of in this PAC.

Someone's person for this PAC is a romantic relationship and it could be very passionate.

Mars in Scorpio, Mercury square Neptune, Mercury square Pluto, Jupiter in 10th, Jupiter in 12th

Sudan, South Pacific, NZ, Hawaii, Cuba

Possible things about you:

You could be very emotional and sometimes letting emotions get to you, and it might be hard for you to be more in control. I feel like you guys might sometimes let your emotions get the better of you or affect situations you're in. And then you suffer the consequences. I.e. getting overly angry and saying things you regret later, or getting upset, crying, and not being able to react properly and also regretting later on.

I sense some of you are super generous, but you're so kind and compassionate that some people take advantage of you. I feel like a minority of this group are super kind-hearted and never see the worst in people; you never expect people to lie or have bad intentions - or you could be neurodivergent and just not realise it. I'm feeling upset for you 😭

Actually, if you're neurodivergent, it would make sense why it's hard for you to manage your emotions sometimes.

Some of you could have been having a hard time taking care of yourself and organising things ahead, almost feeling like a ghost or a shell. You're especially lacking self-care and that's been taking a toll on you. I also sense that it's causing you to feel disconnected from yourself. You could be trying to desperately hold on to yourself.

Overall, Pile 4, you're very wise and mature, very compassionate and you have strong values. You do not tolerate lying or deceiving, unfairness and similar unacceptable behaviours.

Some of you like to bring people together, others like things to be peaceful in a social context even if you're not the social butterfly.

Possible things about them:

I'm getting that they are someone really smart and intelligent in that they are very creative. They like to create and build things. They are innovative. However, they are possibly channeling this energy in the wrong place or activity and it's wasted. Their confidence and self-esteem is affected as a result.

They're very optimistic and positive so once they regain their spirit, they will get a breakthrough.

Might have a very messy mind, octopus mind, or hyperactive mind

Head in the clouds type of person, they don't mean to ignore you Pile 4. That's also how they get all their cool ideas and solutions

Some of you may have manifested them

The smoke in the card is calling at me so perhaps someone will understand bc I don't lol

I think they could also be someone who values justice and fairness, as well as respect in general

Your first date together:

Honestly all I'm seeing is you might spend your first at home with this person, or at least most of you will

Super chill, relaxed, comfy. Doesn't look like you'll be doing much or do anything that requires much effort.

Could be something simple like playing video games at home while eating snacks, but it's just you and them in the house.

I think part of the reason is because there's not much else to do? Maybe you live in a boring area for your age range.

They might gift you something speciallll. Maybe a birthday present. Or a handwritten letter, like I mentioned in the signs part at the beginning.

Honestly I'm just seeing this date is something pure, just nice and you guys are super kind and have a great time with each other.

Quotes:

"Love yourself enough to tell the truth." (Wade, C., 2018)

If you want to purchase a reading from me check my masterlist or go straight to my listings here. discount code: TUMBLR

"Often we don't want to act as though we did something beneficial all by ourselves; rather, we feel a need to acknowledge the help of others." (Yuthok, L. C., 2005)

That's it beautiful Pile 4, thanks for reading and I hope you had fun reading this PAC. Let me know your thoughts!

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-

Hi! Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed! I quite enjoyed this Pick-a-Pile. I also tried a new format, so that the post is shorter and hopefully easier to read. Let me know if you prefer the paragraphs though 😂

I might do a Past Life PAC next! I want to do something original, so the format could be different again 👀

Enjoy your date! 💕

[total-drama-brainrot]

i just posted a silly impulsive headcanon in the discord off the top of my head, but now that i'm thinking about it...

let's say, during their stay in jamaica (or maybe in a later season/different show altogether?) the contestants are staying in hotel rooms for simplicities' sake. and due to the number of them, they're paired up. not an issue, right?

noah goes to join owen in his room, but he's already partnered up with tyler (or whomever), so noah's left with only alejandro as an option. great. again, it's whatever, it's only temporary. at least they'll be able to sleep in proper beds, so things are still looking up!

oh, they've been given the last available room? it's got the queen bed? oh sweet! so they've got bigger beds than the others? no?

wait. what do you mean "only one bed?"

oh shit oh fuck he's totally doomed.

well, they'll just have to make do. noah isn't about to cause a fuss about his sleeping arrangements, he's already tired enough from the plane crash itself and the challenges they competed in. what's the worst that could happen?

(he steadfastly ignores the Very Possible Outcome of his unfortunate sleeping habit, even when various headlines pertaining to a certain awake-a-thon incident race across his vision like spectres. because it's NOT going to happen again.)

alejandro also takes the news with his usual levels of grace and poise- all of that social training as the son of a diplomat has done him well- though noah can just tell by the tenseness in his shoulders and the stiffness of his posture that he's not as calm about the situation as he'd like the others to believe.

whatever. it's just a bed, who cares?

when they're getting ready to sleep- in an actual bed, what a luxury!- noah and alejandro gingerly climb into their respective sleep wears, both facing the opposite direction. this is the first time the whole season that they've been allowed the opportunity to sleep in their actual pyjamas. you know, since they haven't exactly had beds.

alejandro, dressed in his tank top and sleep shorts (he'd usually sleep in just the shorts, but the thought of doing so whilst sharing a sleep space seemed inappropriate), turns to climb into their queen bed only to see noah, who is already dressed in his own loose t-shirt and shorts, stepping into a pair of sweatpants and pulling a thick looking sweater over his sleepwear. what the fuck?

the room they're in isn't even cold, they're in jamaica?

even worse, noah's actively putting on a pair of fluffy socks. who wears socks to bed?

and then, then, the absolute mad lad reaches into his luggage and pulls out an equally fluffy dressing gown (or bathrobe/housecoat, same thing tbf), wrapping it around himself like a winter coat as if he's somehow cold in his two- now three- layers. it's almost 26°c out there! (80°f)

and the psycho smiles to himself, breathing out a sigh of contented air (and, alejandro notices, uncurling from his slightly hunched over posture, as if he'd been trying to conserve heat), as if he's not sweating his ass off under his three weather inappropriate layers!

so, as a concerned team leader, alejandro points out the obvious; he shouldn't be wearing so many layers to bed, he's going to get heat stroke.

but noah argues back; he naturally runs cold, especially when he's asleep.

and alejandro briefly recalls the amount of times he's noticed a napping noah shivering in his sleep despite wearing his usual three layers of clothing and the jet itself being kept a consistent room temperature for all it's faults, but his logic reasons that even so noah still doesn't need to wear socks to bed (it's immoral).

eventually noah gives up defending his (objectively wrong) decision to wear thick layered clothing and socks to bed and just climbs under the covers (discarding the dressing gown on the way, he's not completely insane), huffing in annoyance as he curls up at the edge of the mattress and makes a point of ignoring his company.

alejandro also sighs to himself, though whether it's in defeat or exasperation he isn't entirely sure, and carefully slots himself onto the opposite edge of the bed.

the two fall asleep in a tense silence with almost a meter of space between them.

which is why it's surprising when alejandro wakes up a few hours later, absolutely boiling under the heated weight practically glued to his side.

noah's iconic hair, softer in texture that it's usually neat waves would imply, tickles at his neck whilst the cynic's face is pressed firmly into his chest. his sweater-clad arms and wrapped almost possessively around his shoulders and his legs and tangled between the latino's own. whilst the added pressure is nice bearable, alejandro is sweating his life out beneath the warmth of another body.

when he tries to unpeel his clingy companion from his side, a sleeping noah seems to take that as a challenge and digs his hands into the taller's shoulders, which is when alejandro realises that despite everything noah's hands are freezing to the touch. how?! the two of them end up even further entwined than before, as his escape efforts only lead to noah wrapping his body even tighter around alejandro like a particularly stubborn boa constrictor until he had the shorter practically sleeping on top of him- as if alejandro himself was the mattress, or some oversized teddy bear.

it's... not an ideal situation.

alejandro kicks the duvet off of the pair, prompting a shiver from the wannabe koala attached to him, but the freedom from the oppressive heat outweighs any remorse he would've felt for depriving his companion from potential heat stroke. without the oven-like heat of the duvet, having the warmth of another curled up against him is actually pretty nice, and alejandro soon finds unconsciousness washing over him like the (comparatively) cool air of their room.

noah wakes up as sunlight filters into their suite, his face tucked firmly into alejandro's neck as the taller cradles him between his arms, deep slumbering breaths making his chest periodically rise and fall against noah's own. his arms are wrapped around the spaniard's waist, cold hands gripping loosely at the fabric of his tank top, and their legs are to tangled together that it takes the bookworm a few moments to figure out which ones are his.

he's warm, for once, and it's wonderful. he barely spares a thought at how awkward the situation is going to be when they're both awake and just presses himself further into alejandro's inviting warmth, mouth twitching into a smile, as he drifts back to sleep.