#but yeah this is only funny to me. bless u all.

[crucible-memes-4-salem-teens]

danforth: now abby, i’m sure you’re an honest and lovely girl—

abby: thank you, sir. if i weren’t under oath i’d return the compliment.

[sunkissed-zegras]

headcannons of you being a media girl for the team and KK constantly annoying you and pulling you with her to make tiktoks

you cannot tell me that kk wouldn’t be all up in that camera

“welcome to the kk arnold show-“

“ KK GIMME MY DAMN CAMERA!”

𝐔𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍 𝐖𝐁𝐁 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐑!𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

─ warnings | nothing but light banter, pretty much nothing else?

─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson @euphternal and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!

─ ev's notes | so instead of like media girl hc's, i'm gonna do manager, it's basically the same thing except manager kinda does everything, it's not limited to photos and social media. it's BASICALLY the same just more of an umbrella term LOL, i hope y'all enjoyed!

you've been the manager for the women's bb team since freshman year and let's just say it's SO chaotic but very rewarding

and yes, you're so right

kk would force you to be in the videos and you're all like force smiling, looking like you're being held hostage

everyone in the comments are SCREECHING cus your answers are always so hilarious and they all love you

"who has the best music taste on the team OTHER THAN YOU?" "other than me?????" "yeah.." "no one, i have the best one"

but people love you sm

i feel like they'd make compilations of you interacting with the team (in specifically the tiktoks bc they're funny af)

eventually people coin the term... "y/n and her toddlers"

you're like the mom of the team (obviously cus ur the manager) but like in more ways than just one

like the freshman first start to open up to you, every comes to you for advice, etc etc

they all just ADORE you

cus who wouldn't?

since you're in charge of the social medias, you FEED the paige bueckers girlies

you take so many pictures of our girl and everyone on tiktok loves u for it

on the buses to games, oh god bless u

especially the really long car rides, everyone will do anything but sleep when the only thing you're tryna do is sleep

LIKE EVERYTHING, they will bring cases of redbull bc they swearrrrr it's team bonding

(they just wanna shit talk everyone they know)

they drag you into everything, especially like if two (or multiple) of the girls are having problems bc you usually know how to deal with them

they adore you yes, but they also fear the fuck outta you

so you make them sit down and talk it out (with you + any seniors at the time to make sure they actually do) then BOOM it's fixed

again, you're like their mom

here's a little snippet of what it's like being their manager 😗

──

"Hey y'all, welcome back to the KK Arnold show! Today we're gonna go interview the mysterious Y/N," KK shouted as she looked at the camera with a smile, beginning to walk to the sidelines of the empty court. She gestured to keep walking until they eventually reach you.

You looked up to meet the camera with a confused smile as you setup your camera. KK couldn't help but let out a laugh, causing you to shake your head in amusement.

"Everyone wanted to have an interview with you, how do you feel about that?" KK finally got out after she stopped laughing, unable to maintain a straight face at your confused expression.

You laughed softly, adjusting the camera before responding, "Uh... well you know, it's part of the job."

KK shook her head dramatically as the camera zooms in on her face, "She hates you guys, Y/N is a D1 hater-"

"No, oh my god shut up!" You laughed as KK gave you a mock glare. "I love you guys."

"How do you feel about the edits?" KK held in her laugh as she glanced back at you then the camera, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Of... Paige?"

KK shook her head, "No, of you."

"There are edits of me?" You couldn't but laugh as you shook your head, taking a seat on the bench as you finished up setting up your film camera.

"Yeah, the people are going feral." KK smirked, clearly enjoying your reaction. "Oh don't act like you haven't seen them, we send them to you on the groupchat."

You glared at KK before she bursted out laughing, putting up her hands in surrender. "Bro, leave me alone."

"No, you signed up for this when you became manager." KK joked as you held in your laugh with a thin-lipped scowl, pretending to be annoyed.

Before you could respond, Paige and Nika walked out to the court and KK waved them over. "Guys, Y/N's being a hater again."

"Aw, be nice to the freshman, Y/N." Paige joked as she joined you on the bench. KK sent her a glare as you and Paige laughed, Nika joining you two on the bench with a grin.

You shot KK a playful glare, though the corners of your lips couldn't help but twitch upwards. " Yeah, freshman privileges only go so far, KK. Don't push your luck."

"Bro," KK sighed exasperatedly as all three of you laughing. "Anyways back to the interview, how do you feel about the Paige edits?"

You and Paige glanced at each other before Paige began laughing. "Actually, as an veteran-edit watcher, they're really good. I don't know about the audios though, they're not very cordial."

"Oh my god, Y/N watched the KK Arnold show confirmed?" KK gasped as laughed loudly, joined by Nika and Paige.

"Bro, I recorded that video."

KK's smile dropped as she dramatically side eyed the camera and gestured toward her neck. "Cut the cameras, cut the damn cameras."

The camera didn't cut, it zoomed on all three of you laughing loudly. KK tried to maintain a serious expression before she sighed dramatically, "the haters are gonna keep hating."

"Facebook ass quote," Paige mumbled as you began laughing even harder, feeling your stomach beginning to hurt as tears began to build in your eyes.

"Oh you really wanna play with me right now," KK joked as she stormed toward you and Paige as the camera cut dramatically.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[mochiwrites]

Scarian being married and NOBODY knowing about it is so funny to me because they would be so obvious about it. In their own ways of course, but like. It’s pretty obvious they are Not Normal about each other. Hermits really are just oblivious as hell bless them all. There’s on ongoing ridiculously complex betting pool for when scarian finally get together that’s been in the works since basically the moment Grian joined. Grian and Scar are always hanging off each others arm and pestering each other or waging wars as their weird form of flirting. Someone eventually accidentally catches them kissing or something and thinks they’ve won the betting pool and it all descends into chaos when Grian and Scar get wind of it and are just “we’ve been married for 10 years??? what r u guys talking about lol”

EXACTLY THIS. YES. NONNIE YOU GET ME!!!!

to begin with there isn’t a single hermit on that server that’s normal. let alone normal about their guy™️

so of course with grian and scar not being normal about each other and being ??? completely obvious about it ??? no one thinks twice because that’s just normal hermit behavior

the betting pool started out really simple in s6 with people being like “oh yeah, they’re definitely gonna get together” only for them to continue acting as they always have and the hermits are like “???? wth”

so then they start betting stuff like. grian is gonna wage a war just to confess to scar. or, scar is gonna build a giant thing to ask grian out. or, by this specific day, time, they’ll have asked each other out, etc etc

I think as a joke one of them goes “I bet they’re already together” and everyone else is like “NO WAY. have you seen them???”

they’ve all definitely caught grian and scar kissing a few times over the years. I think bdubs caught them once and was like “AHA! YOURE DATING!” to which grian and scar deny it. because technically? they’re not?

that betting pool is gonna be a mess when the hermits find out grian and scar have been married for years

[zombvic]

TINDER IRL PART one (harry lewis x reader)

summary : in which y/n gets invited to the sidemen tinder irl (usa edition) and meets a certain brit and their instant friendship slowly progresses into something bigger

face claim : no one right now (kendall jenner later)

notes : reader is like a 2019 ICON like disstracks against the paul brothers, ricegum etc.. now STILL doing youtube but on a much more lowkey basis. also im sorry but i had to add that the reader is an f1 fan IM SORRY (im locked in as an f1 girlie) 😵 yall im not american or even close to a native english speaker (#slavicstruggles) but i tried making the readeramerican cause i tried to do the american la gf x british bloke bf xx god bless 'merica RAAAAAH. also i used lines from like all the videos and made my own cause the lines from this video were insane.. last also, don't be a ghost reader 🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️

pairings : harry lewis x reader , sidemen x platonic!reader , all the other youtuber in the videos x platonic!reader

warnings : drugs (ketamine joke)

You got invited to the SIDEMEN Tinder In Real Life youtube video. You are acutely aware to what the Sidemen are and you've seen their videos before. Now to be fair, the genres between your channel and their channels were pretty different. The Sidemen were known for football challenges, those 100$ vs 100,000$ challenges and other things with a similar vibe. You on the other hand, you did vlogs, lifestyle hack and tips, in your time you've achieved some disstracks and occasionally broke down some formula 1 grand prix weekend.

The moment you saw the instagram dm from the Sidemen official account you weren't sure how to react. Should you be excited? scared? worried? yeah.. all. It was the Sidemen, Logan Paul, Mike and George (idk who Mike and George but who cares).

Eventually you accepted the offer and waited till the day you had to be "picked up" by kinda random men for 5 minutes straight. The day came, you got dressed for the video shoot, they made you wait with the other girls until they called your name and then you walked in.

"Hi, I'm (your name). I'm 24 and i'm from Newark, New Jersey" (go devs go) You've practiced that line like 50 times before you left, not because you wanted to come out of this video with a new man but because you didn't want to embarrass yourself lmao.

"Hi, I'm Vikk. I'm 26 and are you from Tennessee, because you're the only ten i see"

"Would've been funny if i hadn't just said im from New Jersey dude, no sorry"

"Hello, I'm Logan-"

"No. Complicated history" you said as you swiped left.

"One chance please"

"Alright, BUT u gotta watch it tho"

"Okay. SO. If i were a pizza delivery guy, i'd be giving YOU the tip"

"Ew no sorry lmfao.. that was weak as fuck"

"Alright wow, Hello, I'm Tobi. I'm 31 and they say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?"

"Sure go on.. yes. I love that"

Hello, My name is Ethan and let only latex stand between our love.

"Yeah thats funny.. alright, go on"

"Yo, I'm KSI. I'm 30 and you know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Well.. Not in my case."

"Lmao, yes go on"

“Hello, I'm Mike. I'm 37 and girl, you don't need no vibrator when you got this Pickled Dick.”

"Jesus Christ. No, get out"

"Hi, My name is Simon and.. Simon says you want to swipe right"

"Lmao. I love that, Yes"

"Sup, I'm George and I’m peanut butter. You’re jelly. Let’s have sex"

"Jeeesus, that’s crazy bro... no"

"Hello, My name is Josh and I find your lack of nudity disturbing"

"No, I'm so sorry" (guys i love freya sm i couldnt do this)

"Uhm, Hello. I'm Harry. I'm 26 years old and what do ketamine and your underpants have in common?"

"I don't know" you said looking at the blonde-ish man confused.

"I'd like to sniff them both."

The whole room fell into a laughter, you included. "Yes"

"BUT I GET A NO?" Logan exclaims. "What a scam"

WHY DID YOU SAY NO?

(NO : Logan, Josh, Mike, Vikk and George)

"For Logan i think we left this in 2019 and rightfully so. For Josh i dont really know tbh, i just thought his line couldve been better. Mike, i think you know why i said no. Vikk.. Im gonna be honest i dont even remember what youve said but im sure i had my reasons and George, you couldve been waaaaaay smoother mate.. tough luck"

YALL. this is part one because i cant be arsed and put it all right here right now 😁😁😁

[kindlespark]

sam i didnt even watch fhjy but can you tell me more of ur thoughts abt kipperlilly? any thoughts even stream of consciousness, she seems so teenager rage gone wrong im so fascinated by her

HJBFESJBFEKSFS THIS IS SO FUNNY OFC ok this is going to be a range of thoughts about the reactions i've seen from both ends of the rat grinder Discourse™

i think it's fine to be like, yeah, what kipperlilly's anger stems from is like deeply unsympathetic and comes from a very privileged status. i think being like "no that's normal for a teen girl" is silly. she is very much not normal she's a little upper-middle class brat and i love her. i love that she's so deeply distasteful and unappealing to people LOL. hate when female characters have to be smoothed down to be liked! like we don't have to downplay her negative traits when people are obsessed with male serial killers all the time etc etc

BUT i also think people forget that like... the bad kids were reading private thoughts she shared with her therapist (which is a massive invasion of privacy)! like of course it was fucked up. that's why she was going to a therapist lmao!!! it stresses me out that people are this vitriolic about a teen character who is pretty explicitly mentally ill and trying to get better about it but is being manipulated by a deity of rage and possibly her adult vice principal like. you don't have to LIKE her but calling for her to be violently murdered is wild to me. the bad kids had never even HEARD of her before this season and you can metagame about brennan not having invented her character yet all you want but in canon u gotta assume she was successfully keeping that rage down until she got got and is now being actively corrupted by a powerful rage deity lmaoooo

and like! she got her narrative punishment!! the monkey's paw curled and she lost her best friend she's got her traumatic backstory now!!! she's already suffering and at her lowest i don't need her to die (again!)

i think brennan is past the point of making teen characters irredeemable so i can only hope that the cast follows through on that bc i feel like redemption and healing from trauma is one of the strongest themes in fantasy high like i bawled my eyes out in every aelwyn and adaine scene. which is why it's really funny to me that siobhan is kipperlilly's biggest hater because i feel like she's a great mirror to adaine's spite and aelwyn's redemption..... like siobhan's characters are all very appealing to me because of their rage. god im hoping and praying they don't kill the rat grinders in the finale god bless

oh final petty thing i think saying kipperlilly's name wrong was only funny the first 200 times <3 love u all mwa

[chi-icha]

This is a very oddly specific request, but is it possible for you to have a comfort scenario with Wanderer/Scaramouche where an autistic reader has been feeling insecure and hurt regarding their flat affect because a manager at work essentially embarrassed them publicly by treating them like a child and accused them of "having attitude" when they were asking a simple question all because the manager decided a monotonous voice = attitude, and because of that they've started masking more obviously, have stopped speaking as often for the most part and only use very exaggerated and fake tones when they do speak.

I recently this happen to me and the whole argument with my manager has left me so embarrassed and ashamed of my autism, my meltdowns and my flat affect that I'm literally handing my resignation in the next shift I have and I'd love a comfort scenario for it, especially since I tend to see Wanderer as autistic, since his vocal tone in EN feels very similar to my own in some ways- I feel like he'd get it.

I apologise if the prompt is too overly specific or if it's unclear but I felt I'd ask anyway because I feel so hurt ashamed right now and don't even want to speak anymore and I hate feeling like that over something I have no control of.

oh dear, i’m really sorry that happened to u :( i understand how hard it is to communicate when you have difficulty doing it. even if i myself don’t have autism, i understand that people who do have difficulty in daily life. people all around should respect and try to help instead of making a whole deal out of it

and don’t apologise!! nothing is your fault to begin with, and you don’t have to apologise for something you can’t control or are not even conscious about it.

you feel your eyes prick with tears, even if you don’t want to cry. it makes you feel weak, and no one should be weak, or so you thought.

you feel like punching your manager, but that’s not allowed. what else are you supposed to do? just let them treat you like a child and deal with it. fuck, no.

you sit down on a bench in a particularly isolated area in Sumeru, hoping to god no one comes and bothers at this time of day. After fighting with your manager about something that could’ve just been resolved without a problem, you feel exhausted, lonely, even.

“crying alone? I thought I’d never see the day.” a slightly flat voice comes from in front of you, a few metres away. you know that voice, and it gives a slight smile to your face and a warm feeling in your chest.

there he stood, crossing his arms while having a small, amused smile on his face. but it’s not the kind of smile that’s meant to mock you, it’s more like a jab that close friends do; harmless and a little funny despite the situation.

“shut up..” you mumble while gently wiping your eyes, the smile rising on your face despite trying to hide it, not wanting to please that fucker. Wanderer huffs softly, then invites himself to sit beside you and crosses his legs while propping his chin on his palm, elbow neatly placed on his knee just so he could get a good look at you.

sure, seeing you cry was a little rare to see since you always seem so.. monotonous or flat, for lack of better word. he knew little bits of what your relationship with your manager was, and to say he was disgusted was an understatement at best.

“manager?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow and tilting his head slightly to the side.

he knew how to read you like an open book, which is both a blessing and a curse.

“yeah,” your voice was soft, and he immediately caught up on that. usually your voice would be at the same pitch he’s used to. “nothing much though, just..”

you trail off, not knowing how to finish your sentence without thinking of how much of wuss you sound like. you bite your lip, and his form a soft frown.

the silence draws for a little longer, and you feel like you should’ve shut up. your head hangs low, your thumbs fiddling together and mentally beating yourself up for creating such an awkward atmosphere from just trying to speak. fuck, why was speaking so hard—

he hums, just a flat one that seemed to silently say he understood whatever you were trying to silently say.

he inches closer, hand holding the back of your head before pulling your body close to his. he hopes his artificial skin would help you warm up, even if just a little could be nice.

with the help of his comforting touch despite the coldness of his artificial skin, you chuckle softly despite the tears gently streaming down your cheeks. just small ones, but wanderer finds himself wiping them away anyway.

“that’s enough crying,” he cringes at his own voice, failing miserably at trying to form a warm tone and he stays silent, hoping you just understand that he’s genuinely trying to comfort you.

you smile softly, burying your face a little on his neck to not let anyone else see you cry as your arms softly wrap around him, squeezing gently to relieve some of your own tension.

“thank you.”

your voice was but a whisper, but he finds his skin to redden slightly anyway.

please please pleasee correct me if anything is incorrect about autism or any other issues about my writing :(( i have no friends or relatives who have autism, so i really don’t know what it’s like. i made a little research about it but i really don’t know if it’s correct or not 😔

[qqueenofhades]

bless u for the comprehensive answer to my last question, it is much appreciated! And sincere apologies for coming off as defeatist - you're absolutely right that, at the end of the day, the most important thing is working as hard as we can to make sure trump loses the general election. What this really clarifies for me is that my focus should be on the elections, and that I should file the judicial process under "interesting, could be useful, but will never be a silver bullet". Thank you again!

You're welcome, and I think it's most useful to think of it like this: we need to do our job (defeating Trump in 2024) so Jack Smith's job (indicting the fucker up the wazoo) will stick. We hear endless punditry and hand-wringing about how Trump will just cancel the charges if he wins, and that's often presented as some kind of terrible foregone conclusion that we will only avert by dumb luck, if we do at all. And yet, for some funny reason, we never hear about the flip side: i.e. if Trump loses, he's fucked. He will have no more reason to delay, no last-minute Hail Mary play, nothing to stop him from standing trial, being convicted, and going to jail, and that's exactly why he and the rest of the fascist criminals are throwing everything at the election. It is his last shot.

Honestly, I don't want people complacently thinking that the indictments will do the work for them and get rid of Trump -- because they will, but only if we do our job first and pound that motherfucker into the ground in 2024. I don't want anything to take away from the importance of doing everything we can to help Biden win in 2024 -- voting, volunteering, donating, talking to friends and family, you name it. We NEED to do that work so that Trump is out of miraculous golden parachutes and is left to face the consequences. And if he does (again, please God) lose, at least this time he is not the sitting American president and does not have the full resources of the federal government to attempt a coup. In that sense, if you want to see Trump properly, completely brought to justice, it's so easy:

Support the indictments

Vote for Biden in 2024

Do everything to make sure Trump loses

The end.

It's really that easy. Because as noted, if we do our part and Trump loses the election, he is fucked. That's really all there is to it.

We are in uncharted territory here because the founding fathers were eighteenth-century Enlightenment rationalists, and while they obviously did not trust a king and built in all kinds of checks and balances to prevent the president from BEING a king, they also imagined that whoever held the job would at least make a good-faith effort to follow the rules. Besides, the best-designed political system in the world would still be vulnerable to someone like Trump, who gleefully and sociopathically wrecks all norms and precedents however he pleases. That's why there isn't technically a law on the books preventing someone in prison from running for president, because the founding fathers were operating under the idea that people in American government would at least try, however badly, to perform the functions of American government. Trump doesn't. He doesn't give a shit about that. He's willing to take the whole country down in flames if it saves him personally from consequences, and while our institutional guardrails (barely) held last time, they've already said that a second Trump term would involve wrecking all of those, because he is a tinpot narcissistic psychopath dictator wannabe. And yes, it's terrifying, and yes, too many people didn't learn from 2016, and all the rest, but still:

If you want to see the fucker go to jail and reap the consequences of his actions, make sure he loses the 2024 election. That's what you need to focus on. Do that, and the rest of it will come after. So yeah.

[whyse7vn]

DOWN BAD -

[ ot7 x reader ]

JOON4PRESIDENT

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

y/n: hi

tae: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

y/n: ?

tae: holy fuck ur so fucking funny😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭

jimin: i BEG you let that man hit

at this point it’s embarrassing

tae: pls

jk: i think ur funny too

namjoon: shame is free

tae: idk what that’s supposed to mean

jk: it means shame is free i think

y/n: is that why you’ve been at my house for the last 2 weeks??

cuz you wanna hit??

yoongi: 2 weeks??

jin: down so fucking bad

jk: i thought tae was here cuz he missed us?

tae: I AM I SWAER

but if y/n let me hit in the time i was here i wouldn’t be mad

y/n: ur sick

hobi: why have you let tae stay in ur house for 2 weeks?

y/n: he FORCED his way in here

tae: not true jungkook willingly let me in

jin: jungkooks not even a real person so that doesn’t count

jk: i’m real

i think

jimin: i’m telling you he needed that 100k for rent

yoongi: taehyung homeless era

tae: I HAVE A HOME

y/n: ur not acting like it

tae: home is where the heart is

and my hearts with you bbg

y/n: leave

jk: am i real?

tae: are you a construction worker?

jk: no

tae: cuz ur a building

namjoon: what?

tae: 😉

@y/n

not you namjoon or jungkook

y/n: it’s hard

the life i live

hobi: hard like a criminal hard like the beat

tae: my rizz is out of this world it’s actually insane

jimin: do you know what rizz means?

bcs you can’t be fr

jk: isn’t rizz a type of cheese?

yoongi: this is my competition…

y/n: ur thinking of swiss cheese kook

jk: I AM

how did you know that??

y/n: can one of you guys come a get tae from us pls im begging you

jimin: i can’t read sorry

jin: i’m literally blind

hobi: 🫣

y/n: i fear his stupidness is rubbing off on jungkook

yoongi: i think he’s just naturally dumb as hell

jk: who

yoongi: see

y/n: plS my biggest fear in this life is waking up to furry jk

tae: ummm

that would have nothing to do with my influence

yoongi: call animal control maybe they’ll help you with tae?

tae: ??????

y/n: NAMJOON PLS UR MY ONLY HOPE PLS PLS PLS

namjoon: i’m not here

tae: CAN SOMONE DEFEND ME LIKE OMG???

jUNGKOOK TELL HER HER GREAT I AM

jk: he’s great

tae: UR NO HELP FUCK U

i’m gonna kill myself in front of you all in the most horrific way and change ur lives forever and NO amount of therapy will help you forget or move on

jk: ok i’m ready

tae: i’m leaving

y/n: god bless 🙏🏽

tae: ur obsessed with me get help

i hate you all

losers

gosh

fucking bitches the LOT of you

L

AWOOOOOOO

lone wolf era

jimin: what the fuck

namjoon: are you done?

tae: yeah :/

y/n: do you feel better now??

tae: as better as i can be in a situation like this :/

hobi: what situation?

tae: wdym?

jin: he has to be brain dead or something

tae: right hoseok stupid as hell

jk: i think jimin is talking about you bro

tae: jungkook ur young i wouldn’t expect you to understand

jk: ur right

y/n: they changed the korean age system isnt that crazy

jin: DON’T TALK ABOUT AGE

jimin: it’s a sensitive topic for him cuz he’s still old no matter what

namjoon: please

jk: i’m 25

jin: IDC SHUT UP

y/n: yikes

hobi: jungkook has been 25 for like 10 years

jk: that’s not true that makes no sense

hobi are you bad at maths?

hobi: don’t speak to me

tae: jimin you smell the best in the group

y/n: why are you smelling people?

hobi: furry

tae: after the loml ofc

jk: jennie?

tae: SHUT UP

jk: did you break up again???

tae: KICK HIM KICK HIMMM

jimin: what do i smell like?

tae: like vanilla i love it soOOOO much

it’s like a sweet vanilla but not so strong it overpowers ur senses it’s just right

i could eat you

jimin: i wish bitches i wanted said shit like this

but it’s just you

thx ig

tae: ???????

jin: that’s frfr creepy as hell tbh

why is he actually sniffing people is that not insane

jimin: don’t be mad you don’t smell like sweet vanilla

jin: i’m actually glad

look at what ur attracting

hobi: furries

jin: right

tae: 𝖘𝖍𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖚𝖈𝖐 𝖚𝖕

jk: WOAH

CALM DOWN TAE CALM DOWN TAE ITS OKAY ITS JUST US 😰😨😭

jimin: again what the actual fuck

tae: ur right i’m sorry i didn’t mean to get like that guys

jk: it’s okay

namjoon: they’re actually insane oh my god

y/n: i have seen a real decline in jungkooks mental state since the arrival of tae at our home

yoongi: again i think that’s just jungkook

y/n: no i know jungkook

jk: yeah she knows me

i know her

we have a connection you wouldn’t understand yoongi

y/n: and i know for a FACT he’s not that dumb

hobi: dumb dumb

jk: right i’m not that dumb

tae: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY RN???

jk: wait

namjoon: tae go back to therapy

jimim: begging you

jin: awoman🙏🏻

tae: NO

I TOLD YOU LAST TIME

SHE LAUGHED AT ME

THE THERAPIST

I WONT I WONT I WONT

you can’t make me

it’s a free world

jk: you can buy the world??

yoongi: what do people see in you?

jk: whom?

y/n: LMAOOOO

namjoon: jungkook are you high rn?

jk: am i what?

namjoon: high

jk: hello

work on ur spelling joon

jimin: who tf is supplying him with this shit

jin: bet it was tae

tae: NO LOL

LOL

LOL

yoongi: so it was tae

y/n: HAVE YOU BEEN GETTING JUNGKOOK HIGH THESE LAST 2 WEEKS TAE???????

namjoon: this explains a lot

hobi: this is why he’s been messaging shit to my phone at like 2 in the morning

crazy

jk: who

tae: NO

LOL

y/n: HOW HAVE I NOT NOTICED???

jimin: right you dumb as hell tbh

namjoon: does it not smell??

jin: namjoon drug expert

tae: MAYBE HES BEEN TAKING EDIBLES

FROM SOMEONE WHEN YOU GO TO SLEEP???

LOL

yoongi: why are you giving ur self away like that

you really are stupid

jk: yeah stupid

yoongi: don’t ever agree with me again

jk: in y/ns bed rn

hobi: fight fight fight

yoongi: been there multiple times

jk: um ur lying

im here every night

i haven’t run into you in the last 4 months

tae: DONR TELL ME YOU LET JUNGKOOK HIT BEFOR ME OH MY GOD I CANT BREATHE RNNNNNNNNNNN

LIKE JUNGKOOK

ARE YOU FR .:’sk

omGGGH

NOOOSODODOD

jk: i’ve never hit a woman in my life

it’s not right pls don’t hit y/n

y/n: he comes to cuddle sometimes

yoongi: he does?

jk: everyday actually

she’s lying

jin: i’m gonna kill 14 puppies in-front of taehyung and see what happens

tae: why me

jin: you’re n need of a personality change

tae: i’m fine the way i am??

love urself and others will love you for you

we made a whole album about it?

jin: i’m not loving you for you tbh

and a LOT of people would say the same

tae: you guys are lucky i’m not sensitive

y/n: i’ve always been a lucky girly

hobi: you literally live with jungkook?

jk: yes?

hobi: nothing

jk: if you remember lmk ^^

tae: y/n do you have ugly man syndrome or something?

y/n: ??

tae: idk you just seem to enjoy being friendly with ugly men

y/n: never once have i said i’ve enjoyed ur company

tae: ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY IM THE UGLY MAN??

y/n: you said it not me…

tae: anything jungkook can do i 110% do it better

unless it’s lack common sense

i’m pretty full of common sense

jimin: that’s actually not true

y/n: maybe that’s what gets jungkook cuddles?

jk: when?

yoongi: being stupid?

y/n: yeah maybe he’s a loser and i find it endearing

yoongi: lol

hobi: me when i’m jealous

tae: IM ACTUALLY THE BIGGESt LOSER AROUND

TELL HER GUYS

namjoon: the biggest!

jimin: HE SOOOOOO DUMB ITS CRAZY

hobi: i feel the need to kick him every time i see him type of loser

jin: he’s such a loser actually i still bully him to this day

tae: not too much now

hobi: okay i can’t do this anymore let’s address the elephant in the room

jimin: namjoon…

namjoon: wtf?

y/n: don’t be mean

jk: are you guys in all in a room without me?

tae: u-um >.<

jin: did he just stutter through text?

y/n: pls stop

jk: where is the elephant??

jin: jungkook go to bed or something ur pissing me off now

jk: sleep well jin

namjoon: gn jin

jin: don’t feed into his shit namjoon

jk: y/n are you with the elephant?

yoongi: y/N aRe yOu wItH tHE eLepHaNt

jimin: what the beef omg?

tae: what is this elephant hobi-senpai ?!!!

i’m sitting on the edge of my seat

♡ (⇀ 3 ↼)

jk: me 2

hobi: tae you need to learn how to get a fucking grip and shut the fuck up

…

FYI JK AND Y/N ARE LIVING TOGETHER FOR THE FUNZIES OKAY? FOR THE GIRLIES THAT DO NOT KNOW

the rest of the members have their own houses and are lonely losers

[thatdeadaquarius]

Theres a lot of cuss words in this one so be warned lol

Bro i just had this-- insane fucking idea when i saw your "flowery words" post and i just-- omg I just had to shareee

So reader right? Very blunt, straight to the point sentences that dont dance around the bushes for 6 hours trying to tell you "oh no your house is on fire" or something, yeah? Well-- what if it turns the OPPOSITE when they start to SWEAR--

Because like-- i know myself. Me and like, so many people i know speak like that (blunt and straight to the point) but like-- when i get even MILDLY inconvenienced, i will start swearing like i have a masters degree in cursing out you and your entire flippity flappity bloodline

So id imagine the contrast to be like--

Reader, chill: aether, we're supposed to be going that way, this is literally the wrong direction

Reader, stubbing their toe: oW FUCK SHIT TITS-- WHY HAVE THE GODS FORSAKEN ME SO-- I CAME OUT HERE, TO THIS POINT, TO THIS PLACE, HOPING AGAINST ALL HOPE AND DESPITE SIGNS AND PORTENDS SUGGESTING OTHERWISE THAT I MIGHT, SOMEHOW, FIND MYSELF HAVING A PLEASANT EXPERIENCE, AND YET, HERE I STAND, ALONE AGAINST THE WORLD, FEELING ASSAULTED, ATTACKED ON ALL FRONTS, NOT KNOWING MY ENEMY'S NAME NOR HIS FACE NOR WHETHER OUR BATTLE IS DONE--

(Yes this is the "i came out here to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked rn" post)

I can just imagjne the sHEER WHIPLASH-- like, this dude has been speaking in the "divine tongue" or whatever and then suddenly theyre immediately reverted to their "lowly mortal jargon" or something-- AHAHA

Or like-- if it just turns into a reeeeeally long string of curse words, everyone would probably be so scandalized or something lolllll

YES YESS PSPSPSPSPSPSSS COME TO ME ASKS, COME TO MY INBOX COME ! !

Anyway, with our sponsor's message out of the way,

Bless you for this 🙏 my pets are fed, my crops are watered, my skin is clear

✨️This is gorgeous, just a gorgeous idea ✨️

I LIVE for Teyvat being scandalized maidens from the Victorian era, gOD BLESS ITD BE WONDERFUL

Like our modern music?? Absolutely would give heart attacks, not even the most stoic of them would escape the blush

Esp with cussing pretty please i wish i could see the looks on their faces, they'd also probably blush at how creative it can get lmao

(daresay, maybe even impressed?)

oh the whiplash, its be so funny, every time. No one can keep up with you, you've got Teyvat linguists stumbling, the older beings cant understand you sometimes, the newer ones only understand you SOME of the time, and apparently most often? Only when you're cursing??

(I think various characters would find an ancient deity only deigning to speak their lang. when they gotta cuss smth out the funniest shit ever, like Venti, Itto, Cyno?, Diona, Hu Tao, Kaeya, maybe Kazuha, Lisa, Nahida probably would get a giggle, Rosaria, Heizou, Childe, Tighnari might like, be trying desperately to hold back a laugh but it's not working, Scaramouche/Wanderer, Xingqiu, Yae Miko would def commission a light novel for this, and Yelan - im so sorry i listed who exactly, this is so long ill stop, i just thought someone would like to see it 😭😭)

(I CAME OUT HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND IM HONESTLY FEELING SO ATTACKED RN LMAO U MADE IT SO LONG AND FLUFFY THAT WAS PERFECT)

THANK YOU!! FOR THE ASK!! WHAT A LOVELY TIME!! COME BACK AGAIN!! WHENEVER!! :DD!!

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[toomuchracket]

thinking about matty's brief stint working in cafe nero... being coworkers when ur like 20 and he pisses u off because he is so incompetent but u also have a lot of fun... you know those tiktoks about friends working together so very simple tasks become a 2-person job (im talking mopping the floor, and his job is standing next to you and moving the bucket around, so closing takes 2x longer than it should)... until your manager realises she shouldn't schedule the two of you together anymore and matty, now entirely disinterested in the job, quits. (this could actually be very early flatmate if you wanted... she gets him the job maybe)

this is so fucking funny he would so be like that. also though like you said - flatmate coming into the shop you work in part-time when you guys first meet and he's like "oh you're hiring? maybe i'll apply", and you're like "no you'll distract me and then we'll never get put on shifts together and really what would even be the point of you working here if not to hang out with me". like, CLOCKED. and matty's all flustered like "that's not the ONLY reason i'm considering applying" and you're like "no? damn. it would be mine if it was the other way around"; mind you, you've not been friends for that long, so matty literally does not know how to cope when you say that bless him lmfao. again, truly ridiculous that it took you seven years to get together (and another five-ish to get married). this was not at all what you asked but it's where we've ended up, so... yeah. sorry lol <3

[mrs-monaghan]

So this is inspired by a reply to one of your asks but what do you think each pairs of BTS will be doing if you lock them up in a room for an hour and left unsupervised.

Hello anon. There is way too many pairs in BTS for me to cover them all. So allow me to only do Jikook duos.

I will start with the duos I as Shaz deem to be the weakest, to strongest.

Okay JK's weakest duo which is also his weakest ship; If you've been around for a while you already know who I'm about to say 😂😂😂

Yoonkook.

(The tiktok on the post Here is how I feel about JK's ships. But I swap tkk for ynkk) So Yoonkook alone. Here i talk more about them after the Suchwita episode. But I will now also bring back the IG photos from the concert

Spot the difference? 🤭🤭🤭🤭 and i will be a nice blogger and not bring up the fact that on day 3 while we were busy watching Suga's concert JK was on tiktok liking videos.

Sorry anon..I crack myself up when I talk about Yoonkook but umm... yeah so. We already know what happens when u put them in a room together. They run out of things to talk about. We saw on Suchwita and we saw on Bon voyage by JK's own admission. When I see Yoonkook fanfic on twitter I get very confused 🤭🤭😂😂 because they don't click. Not really. If asked they will choose other members first. Definitely not eo. Yoonkook content with just them 2, I doubt they'd be very entertaining. Not without buffers may it be human or machine 😂

.

Finding Jimin's weakest duo is actually really hard because like RM said; Jimin is the king of chemistry and put him in a room with anyone and it will be funny and quality entertainment. But I will try.

Vmin.

I'm sorry but these 2 alone, together? Nah... Jimin may be the king of chemistry but even he can't fix the Vmin chemistry anymore. There was a time everything used to flow great between them but in recent years Vmin just ain't it. If u think I'm making this up go back to this live before JK comes in

They kept running out of things to talk about too. Jimin even pretended to leave at one point. They were super awkward to say the least and I feel like they were both grateful for JK's presence. @magicshop-pjm1 likes to go "Vmin is dead" every 2 to 4 business days which is absolutely hilarious 😂😂😂 but I think anyone not in denial can admit while yeah, I'm sure they still care about eo, something somewhere went wonky and they're not the same anymore.

This tweet is a joke and its hilarious 🤣😂😂 but unfortunately i find it accurate. Them 2 alone aint it

Taekook.

This was kinda obvious. Some people would rate this duo lower than Yoonkook but I think that's not fair. If you compare them with an unbiased eye Tkk are stronger than ynkk. First they are closer in age which helps. Meaning they're gonna be closer, too. But put them in a room together and it's not even awkward its nothingness. I'm talking silence. By JK's own admission here it just wasn't working. And we all remember the joint IG live where they ran out of things to talk about and JK would play with Bam instead. Another duo where JK needs a buffer for sure. I mean, sure tkk have been out and about but notice how its always with the Wooga squad? Never just them two?

On the plus side, they look really good. So, I'll give them that. 💚

Minimoni

Again this is so hard because Jimin has very strong duos. But yeah, I will put RM second last because RM as a person (bless him and his dimples) he's not the most entertaining and has to bounce off of someone. Them together, alone won't be boring but I'm not sure it would be that memorable or mind blowing. These are just my personal opinions guys so feel free to disagree or chime in. But yeah. I feel Minimoni is 2nd last for me.

I do find it interesting how comfortable RM is with skinship when it comes to Jimin considering he's not big on that in general (unless its Jin) He's even the one who initiates so he is quite comfortable around Jimin.

Anyway, they're a nice duo with a dynamic that gives you UWUs but they're not the most interesting in my eyes. Sorry Minimonis 🤷🏽‍♀️

Namkook

What's the most recent thing that we know about them? We know they hanged out after JK left Jennie's CK event. And we know before that JK said him and RM hadn't drunk together in years. Years. Not months. Now this dont mean they don't see eo. It just means they don't drink together often. I do find this to be significant however because both men love their liquor. But, they drink with other members just not eo so.... 😬😬 again, not making this up, its as per their own admissions

So Namkook in a room together 🤔 what do we got here guys? Have we ever had this? We had a Namkook live but the only memorable thing for me was them outing the fact that Jikook live together. I am blanking on Namkook which makes me feel confident about the position I've put RM.

Give it up for Jimin's type thou everybody 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Jinmin

I would actually have Jinmin and Jihope as a tie but since I'm choosing I will rate Jinmin lower. But man. These 2 together are the absolute best. They are such a comedic entertaining duo. Them together alone in a room is worth every penny if we were asked to pay for any such footage 😂😂 they are funny and they bounce off of eo so well. Never a dull or awkward moment between Jin and Jimin. Never.

These two are the ones you throw to a team that's drowning. They are the ones u assign to a team for better views. I love them together fr fr. Best duo. Such a good duo. Honestly. Throw JK in there and you are set for life with the best trio ever. Go search for any of their compilations and I dare you to be bored.

And we haven't even began to talk about their visuals

First photo of them that pops up on Google and... as it should. Most beautiful man alive Vs world wide handsome =perfection 💯💯💯

(Off topic BTS main visual was always Jin and then V was added to the visual line then eventually JK. Now dont get me wrong all of them are drop dead gorgeous but is there a reason Jimin isn't part of the visual line?? Anyway...)

Hopekook

Hopekook in a room together alone, I'd say that's solid entertainment right there. They're good together, they're funny. It's Jhope we're talking about. He rivals Jimin on having chemistry with the members so him and JK alone i think that's a solid video right there. No awkwardness or nothing and Bonus skinship for the Hopekookers. Good times, really.

JK is extremely comfortable with Jhope so yeah... they're a good duo. No one is getting bored.

Yoonmin

Okay y'all. We know most Yoonmin supporters are rubbish vermin but don't let that make you forget that Yoonmin are extremely entertaining together. Put these 2 in a room alone together and come on... GOLD!! The Yoonmin Suchwita episode is hands down the funniest for me. I laughed from beginning to the end. Swear to God ✋🏽 that episode and the one with the drunk TXT members are great rewatches for me ngl. Also Jimin is Suga's favourite member so Suga is super comfortable with Jimin in everything. But my favorite part of them is the bickering of course.

They can't ever seem to stop fighting which is just so freaking entertaining. Remember ITS 1 when Jhope told Jimin he was being cocky so Jimin said he was going to look for Suga so that the guy could kill his cockiness? He said going to Suga would bring him back down to earth 😂🤣 Because this is who they are, its what they do. They insult eo and call eo out. So people who get mad at Suga need to watch a good old Yoonmin bickering compilation. They've called each other ugly, fat, stupid, skinny, and a bunch of other stuff some people seem to have forgotten.

Anywaaaaaay. Yoonmin alone together is quality content and that's why Suga is high on this list.

Jinkook

Surely I don't need to explain why this duo is number 2 in terms of JK's most entertaining duos. Right? Like its self explanatory? I've stated many times; imo Jin is JK's favourite/closest after Jimin. Some of u disagree and say Jhope nah, its Jin. Imho.

Tom and Jerry, perfect title for them 2. Love it. Put them in a room together and you're set.

chaotic thread here for those who need a refresher

Jihope aka Hopemin

We don't need to imagine. This duo have been alone together or engaged just them enough to know they are entertaining as shit. Its usually mostly Jhope laughing at Jimin's antics but this usually prompts Jimin into getting funnier with every laugh he gets from Jhope.

Tweet

Much like Jinmin they are the duo you shove into a dying group to give it spice. They are absolutely epic and I feel confident putting Hobi on the number 2 spot of Jimin's most entertaining duos.

They do have awkward moments when they're checking eo out to try and out compliment eo but that's just entertaining as well 😂😂

Last but not least Jikook/Kookmin/Minkook/Mingukk

Now hear me out. This isn't just my bias that made me put this duo at the top. Alright? There is this ongoing unfairness taking place in the fandom where people undermine Jimin and JK's funny n chaotic sides.

Tweet

Together they are hilarious and entertaining and this duo doesn't get enough credit for being as funny as they are.

The reason they are number one is because Jikook alone together is a complete programme. Humor, Check. Chaos, Check. Romance, Check. Sexual tension, Check.

Hate or love this duo, they're a perfect recipe for entertainment.

Would love to hear your thoughts but this is how I'd rate them. Thanks for the ask anon, twas fun 💜

[gor3-hound]

NYYYYYYXXXXX!!!!!! HAIIIII HRUU :3! bless ur soul for putting up with my nonsensical yapping.. i love ur inputs<3 & NEW BOTS WOOO thank you for these gracious meals😋

AND I WAS THINKING (here we go again LMAO)..RE2 LEON AS A LOSER COLLEGE CLASSMATE. he’s a loner. kinda nerdy, not that talkative. sits in the back of any room. poor baby is too shy to make a conversation w anyone, & when/if he does, nobody’s listening/thinks his input is weird/is talking over him so he jus gives up on trying 2 make friends & just decides to focus on his studies (◞‸◟)

until popular!reader comes along & makes the effort to get to know Leon by sitting next to him. bro is baffled! but shes popular for a reason; so sweet & considerate, funny—cute! it’s the most attention that anybody has ever given him & he gets so drunk off of her mere presence that he just can’t help getting a little crush on her!

but then that quickly develops into an unhealthy obsession; “accidentally” bumping into her “randomly”, rubbing himself to pictures of her, attached to her by the hip! her bf doesn’t like him for being so touchy, so he kinda beats Leon up :(… a lesson is NOT learned bc Leon complains to reader abt his boo-boos, & she tells her bf off. seeing this, Leon tells her lies abt her bf & she believes him always bc Leon is nothing but an angel! 

bro has a whole wall dedicated to her. photos of her w her friends (who r etched out/cut out), her walking around campus, etc. mf collects her chewed-up pencils & forgotten hairties (bonus if they have strands on them) & and disposed gum-wrappers like they’re ancient artifacts. occasionally takes her empty/half-full waterbottles and licks & kisses the lip to pretend he’s making out with her. typically results in him whimpering her name while humping a pillow… yeah he’s pathetic, but she’s none the wiser!…. do u see my vision….

-🍼

🍼anon i'm literally on my knees asking for your hand in marriage because i love love LOOOVE creep/perv re2 leon :3 pls yap in my inbox forever bcs your ideas are so juicy and make me scream!! BUT HIII!!! i'm good !! hruuu?

but omg ofc i see the vision!! he's so sweet at first, just happy to have a friend. but reader is the only one who's ever treated him like this, and his innocent crush is so quick to become an obsession. the water bottle thing had me SCREAMING like ughhhh.

reader is so oblivious. leon is so unassuming and like... no one cares about him, so they don't notice when he slinks away at the beginning of the lecture with reader's room key... oops. he gets himself some souvenirs(aka used panties...) but he's also *such* a gentleman that he doesn't just care about that. he's also taking note of stuff like the shower gel n shampoo she uses so he can get the same ones as reader to feel closer to her :33

bonus points if he snaps one day. after she tells her bf off, her bf gets really fucking defensive about HIS girlfriend. every time leon walks into the room, he's pulling her in for a kiss - not just a peck, but like... a sloppy makeout sesh. leon ends up being like 'hi i wanna say sorry for how i've acted... come w me'. except he's not sorry at all (duh) and he gets rid of her boyfriend once and for all.

of course, he's the one to comfort reader when she's completely distraught at her bfs 'disappearance'. he lets her into his dorm room and cuddles her while being all sweet, using her emotional vulnerability to coax reader into letting him touch her. he's got her right where he wants her now. and if her friends start to catch on? he's got no problem disposing of them, too.

[zorkaya-moved]

me @ tumblr rpc: YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLOT WITH OCs and it shows.

And you know what? That happens. Plotting is hard. Honestly? Hate plotting so much if I don't know a person these days because I just feel overly anxious and ramble. So yeah, anyhow... Let me share some personal thoughts! THIS DOES NOT TOUCH ON PEOPLE WHO TAKE THEIR TIME, PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME IN PLOTTING AND PLEASE DO EVERYTHING ON YOUR OWN PACE! THIS IS A HOBBY AND THIS IS SOMETHING WE DO FOR FUN! This is based solely on some of my own experiences with SOME plotting (not all ofc!) as a woman oc writer in 2022-2023. I've had fantabulous experience with plotting and not so much. Please know you're valid, Ily, thank you for bearing with my burnt out ass in plottings. Mwah. Stay winning.

We all suffer from the collective dead brain cell syndrome when it comes to plotting any interaction, but do you know what kind of sucks and makes little ol' me tinsy bit bitter at the end of 2023 after going through countless people who just ignored my plotting proposals when I gave a ton of ideas? And what I'm going to call out just a tiny bit as a woman oc writer?

You can get into wikipedia and seek out information about a canon character to figure out some ideas on plots if you don't know the fandom, but do you do the same for OCs? 'Cuz OCs are sure as hell the very same 'canons from fandoms I don't know' type of situation.

Do you reach out to the CREATOR who can answer all your questions no matter how miniscule they can be? We, OC writers, are ready to give you the deep lore if you ask.

Do you check out about pages or headcanon pages? Hell, some of us have DETAILED NAVIGATION PAGES FOR VERSES! Is your OC or Canon from there? Check it out! Read! Find what interests YOU or if you didn't find something? Just ask the WRITER! Simple, innit? God, Imma be real, some of y'all gonna get my DMs like 'Listen, I can't find if you have this hc, could you please link it to me?' because I want info for plot ideas and if you do the same to me? I kiss u platonically.

Lemme give you a Done For You plotting thoughts you can use on how to plot with OCs, ladies and gents and nonbinary folks!

Do you have a specific dynamic you WANT for your character? Perhaps, you see a villain OC and want smth toxic to try out - ASK. Or you see an OC that might be a fun friend or neighbor or any other more positive dynamic - ASK. Inquire each other about what DYNAMICS you're open to. Oh you open to all? Sick. PUT DOWN YOUR BOUNDARIES FIRST. BOTH SIDES. SPEAK YOUR BOUNDARIES.

Do you have verses both of your characters are in? Be it OC & OC or Canon & OC? Noice, discuss all possible connections your characters might have! Offer ideas! Offer thoughts! The worst thing another can say is 'no'. And if so? COUNTLESS POSSIBILITIES. Yummy possibilities. Friends, childhood friends, childhood rivals, exes, rivals, co-workers, fight on sight, live next to each other, see each other in the same fucking cafe your muse goes at 2 pm specifically and ALWAYS sees another muse there... Countless. I'm telling you.

JUST DO THE FIRST STEP TOO WHEN YOU INTERACT WITH OCS, I'M ON MY KNEES BEGGING.

OFFER. IDEAS. The vaguest ones will do ok too. I cannot stress this enough but as an OC writer, I've had instances where I just... Gave 5 ideas only to have someone just drop me. Fully and completely. Not the 'I'll reach out to you later I need to think about this' but just full on 'wow this is too much plotting and I don't want to invest that much time' like it sucks. It sucks being the only person offering possible dynamics, ideas, even funny ones in some cases! I'm so burnt out from plotting dynamics because I keep. Offering. Ideas. But I don't have the same feedback loop. More like I have 0 feedback in the instances I dive into possibilities which burnt me out from plotting altogether, closing plotting possibilities with those who may actually be the same kind of insane as I am. And it sucks. Bless you all who give vague ideas or not vague ideas. Love you. You're fucking champions.

BE OPEN TO ASKING QUESTIONS, PLEASE ASK QUESTIONS, HOLY SHIT, PLEASE. Please never forget to ask "Hey, how would you feel about this scenario?" or "Would your character be in this kind of situation? Maybe that's how they met and started hanging out?" or "Oh, how about us trying out this type of dynamic and see where it goes?" or anything, really.

Anyways, this is just my 2 am psa because yeah why not. December sucks ass so why not speak out my thoughts at the end of 2023 to enter 2024 with sunglasses and cool Women OCs Propaganda I will continue preaching. You're all welcome to reblog this.

[bisaster-energy]

I have to know what nut allergy means 🤲🏻

god i had forgotten about this one til u tagged me💀i got the idea cos of some tiktok someone made about putting ghost pepper in their food to catch whichever coworker was stealing their food and ppl in the notes were freaking out cos "wHAt iF sOMeOnE iS ALlErGiC" me and my friend luke were like "god how funny would it be if you just went in someone's fridge drank all their milk and shit yourself cos ur lactose intolerant and then blame them for trying to poison u that logic is so crazy...what if it was a destiel au"

it's really just a silly hospital au i never got around to finishing it's cringy and basic but it's funny to me so i kept it

so cas is a doctor ofc i have to reward dean somehow.

he's neurosurgeon because i did watch grey's anatomy and dr. sexy being a parody of derek shepherd who's played by patrick dempsey who also played a guy named cass who was in a polyamory with jensen ackle's character and marilyn monroe. i had to put it in

i couldnt decide if i wanted dean to be a doctor too or a nurse but i know i wanted him in peds

basically it's one sided enemies to lovers with dean having beef with cas for no reason (he's hot and this frustrates dean to no end). meanwhile cas has a crush bigger than texas on that man

maybe a competitive aspect too like derek and burke had but less animosity. i try to lean into the soap opera aspect of it as if they're in a medical drama more than a REAL HOSPITAL because it's easier than doing extensive research <3

so maybe dean is a bit more of an asshole to cas than strictly necessary and no one else gets why. cas essentially gives up on trying to have a normal conversation w/dean and thinks he really hates him so he settles to only talk to him in a professional capacity so he wont encroach on his space more than he has to

dean takes this personally. i love misunderstandings

etc etc it comes to a head when maybe something happens that really sets dean off about cas (i haven't figured what yet) and so to get back at him he nabs a cookie from his lunch (cas already established that anyone can indulge in them but dean missed the memo ig)

anyways ruh roh! his dumbass is allergic to one of the ingredients cos it came into contact with walnuts or smth idk

dean's embarrassed as hell and cas finds him all swollen and fucked up and i haven't gotten past this part but yeah i just wanted cas to stab dean with an epi-pen really

overall very mid and silly and dumb but here's an excerpt anyway:

The neurosurgeon is, in Dean's humble (but also right) opinion, the only one worthy of the term Asshole around here, with a capital A.

Well, not the only one. But still.

And it's not like Dean didn't try to get to know him! New doctor shows up, windswept hair tousled to perfection, lab coat flaring behind him like some sort of superhero, gaze focused and intense, and eyes so so blue-

Ahem. Of course Dean is going to be intrigued he's a human being! It's not like Castiel was interested anyway. Barely said three words to Dean before rushing off somewhere else, probably to bless some other coworker with his angelic ass sculpted by god. Dean tried a few times after that and still ended up with nothing more than stilted small talk. Dude made talking to a brick wall seem like a cake walk. There was always something going on that had to cut their conversations short, and Dean thought Cas was just a shy guy at first, nothing wrong with that. But he's seen Dr. Novak easily chat with other staff for longer than two (painfully awkward) minutes. Especially Masters. God that snake just loves to hang off Novak, like that's her job instead of being a damn nurse. Even Balthazar, their own personal sleazeball of an anesthesiologist, allegedly manages to drag the uptight doctor out from time to time.

Not that Dean has been stalking them or anything. He just heard it through the grapevine like every other godforsaken rumor at this high school of a hospital. And if the grapevine happened to just be Balthazar himself bragging about their nights out in the breakroom, well that's Dean's business.

"I still say you need to give him a chance, Dean," his mammoth of a brother insisted, brushing his mane out of his face. Seriously, dude, just get a haircut. "I don't get what your problem with him is. Castiel is great! A little awkward maybe, but it really adds to his charm." Dean rolls his eyes.

"Sammy, you do realize you sound like you're trying to get me to adopt a dog that's about to be sent to the pound? It didn't work when you were eight and it won't work now. And, for your information, I've given Cas plenty of chances to talk to me. He's the one with the issue. You should be selling him all this kumbaya bullshit. And don't you have some lawsuits to prevent?"

It's Sam's turn to roll his eyes. "Whatever, Dean. If you gave up on talking to him then why the hell do you call him by a nickname?" With another flip of his mop, his brother left Dean spluttering for a reasonable answer. Which there is, of course. But Sam's long gone by the time he manages a weak "Castiel is a mouthful, okay?" "I'll say," came an annoyingly sultry voice from behind. Without turning Dean lets out a sigh. "Can I help you, Masters?" He asks flatly, already resigning himself to an unpleasant encounter. "Oh, don't be like that, Dean," God, he can practically hear the obnoxious pout he knows she's wearing right now. "I thought we could bond over what a mouthful Clarence is!" That has him spinning around.

meg is cas' bestie she can't understand why he's hung up on dean but she supports his terrible terrible taste. and if she can manage to convince dean they're fucking in the meantime well. god forbid women do anything

the reason sam seems so invested is cos the hospital has a betting pool over if these 2 get together and when. bros tryna make bank

[okkalo]

Hii! (not sure if im doing this right, sorry if its in the wrong spot) If you do zantetsu, could you do zantetsu meeting reader’s parents and holding hands under the table to calm him?

Could I be ⭐️ anon too? Thank you!

hi ⭐️ anon!! this was a cute request jaisiej i always get so nervous writing for zantetsu i hope i do him justice anyways thank u for the request and i hope you enjoy 🫶

reminder: no format requested means i can do any i want. read rules for more information on formats.

character: zantetsu

- poor babe

- he was so nervous but he refused to show it because he wanted to keep his cool act up

- the only part is that he sucks at acting

- that and you’ve gotten to know him and his signs over the time together

- he’s been nervous ever since you told him of the news

- and you try to subtly calm him down over the time, not exactly wanting to embarrass him

- he doesn’t notice any of your extra care, luckily

- he’s still nervous and though

- probably shaking because he’s so nervous :(

- trying to take secretive deep breaths in the car before you guys go in

- so so obvious though LMAO

- whenever he introduces himself he messes up on his name.

- says a whole different name

- introduces himself as your dad’s name???

- your dad looked so confused

- zantetsu did too.

- quickly laugh it off and say “zantetsu, you’re so funny”

- not only does it make it seem like a joke but it also reminds him of his actual name

- probably is as quiet as he can be the whole time

- so scared he’s going to say something dumb (bless his heart he already has)

- you notice his silence throughout the time and can’t help but feel bad

- you guys finally get to the dinner part and get a moment together because your parents refused to let you help bring the food out

- btw before sitting at the table zantetsu SPRINTS to pull out your chair for you

- soccer speed and all

you sigh, staring at the male in front of you as he nervously spaced out while looking at the wall. you hated having to watch the man you loved go uncharacteristically silent in hopes of not seeming dumb to impress the people close to you. you knew you should let him learn on his own about how to get close to your family, but this wasn’t getting anywhere. a little comforting couldn’t do him wrong.

you let out a soft breath before sliding your hand under the table, reaching so it met his. his eyes immediately widened, head jerking so he met your eyes with his surprised ones. you put on the best gentle smile you could, trying to make him forget of his worries. “baby, you know there’s nothing to worry about,” you start out with a whisper, talking low so your parents don’t accidentally hear you, “they already love you. they put up with me talking about you all the time, i promise you that they can’t hate you.”

his eyes widened once more at your words before his face relaxed, a small smile on his lips. “you talk about me to them?” he asked in a rough whisper, drawing a giggle out of you. you sweetly nodded before looking back at him with lovesick eyes.

“try to talk more,” you spoke up in another whisper after a moment of silence, “they’ve been waiting to meet you, y’know. they’re excited to hear you and your pretty voice.” you encouraged, still looking at him with gentle and calming eyes. your heart leaped once his eyes mimicked yours before nodding. you both went silent, loving smiles on each of your faces as you both held your gazes, truly feeling like the only two people in the world.

your heart saddened once he jumped at your parent’s entrance, though you had hope he would speak up now. you made sure to give his hand a squeeze, though with no intentions of pulling away. you didn’t miss the way his lips went up into a smile, still focused on your parents. yeah, he had this.

unedited thanks for reading!

[dk-wren]

The ABCs of Buddy Daddies

A = Anna Hanyu, aka Miss Anna, Miri’s teacher for the Giraffe Class at Aozora Daycare

B = Buddy Daddies, yeah sorry for not being more original

C = Child, as in “Shame on you, I know you're irresponsible. But I never dreamed you’d put our work before our child”

D = Diabolical, how Miss Anna plays piano

E = Everything crepe, what Miri got to share with her Papas because “everything tastes better when you share”

F = French Toast, Rei and Kazuki’s signature dish 

G = Gene, as in “Those are our genes at work”

H = Hamburg steak, Miri’s favorite meal her mother made

I = Izumi Karin, Kazuki’s sister-in-law who teaches him he can be happy and change without forgetting Yuzuko

J = Juice, what Miri asks for, but Kazuki and Rei only have soda water

K = Kurusu Kazuki, a.k.a Papa Kazuki, the brains but also the comedian

L = Lily_20210401, bless them for all their adorable art of the Kurusu Suwa Unasaka family

M = Mom Group Chat, the tea that was spilt there stays there

N = No Sweet Without Sweat, a.k.a the Sports Day episode where Miri basically confirms to Rei and Kazuki they are absolutely a family

O = Ogino Ryo, this man got what he deserved

P = Party, a surprise party for Rei’s 26th birthday, planned by Miri and Kazuki

Q = Quit, what Rei and Kazuki do with the organization to try and give Miri a normal, happy life

R = Rice balls, what Rei made for Miri’s Sports Day lunch

S = Suwa Rei, former heir of the Suwa organization now full time Papa to Miri

T = Taiga, Kazuki, chill! He is literally a 4 year old child.

U = Unasaka Miri, the sunshine that brightens Rei and Kazuki’s lives

V = video games, such as Morio Kart, Rei’s favorite past time

W = Weenie, what Miri mistakenly calls Kazuki instead of “meanie”

X = Kazuki x Rei, I couldn’t think of anything better but also they are together for the long haul, whether you interpret that as romantically or platonically

Y = Yadorigi, Kugi Kyutaro’s base and Miri, Kazuki, and Rei’s favorite spot to grab a drink

Z = Zoo, where Kazuki and Rei traveled to deliver Miri her lunch

Hi, hello! I don't know where my mind was last night, but woke up to this in my drafts and thought it was too funny not to post (sorry, maybe it's just funny to me). Will gladly take other suggestions or alternative ideas for any of the letters! Probably will clean it up and add visuals for each letter, along with any suggestions (with credit!), at a later date and repost closer to the 1-year anniversary. Also, so sorry if this has already been done! When I'm tired or write something when the late night delirium hits, which is what happened with this, I tend to not remember everything I've seen. It is not my intention to copy or steal. -Dakota Wren