#but yeah venting can help

[biblically-inaccurate-pervert]

holy shit wait i think i’m delusional /genuine

and i don’t mean that like “omg 😻 i’m so delulu!!!1!1!1!2!1!!!!!!!!!” i don’t say that shit that’s fucked up.

i mean i think i am having literal delusions. specifically about people secretly hating me and being out to get me. i also keep thinking that someone or something is implanting thoughts into my brain and also ive had thoughts that aliens are contacting me (by implanting the thoughts into my brain), that nobody understands me like in a literal sense, that there are eyes watching me in certain areas, that people can read my thoughts, that my meds are hurting me, that something or someone is coming for me, lots of stuff like that.

and i know most people would consider my angel stuff delusions and i say they are when im double book keeping but they are NOT delusions to me. i dont consider them delusions i just pretend that i do. but tbh calling my angel thoughts delusions actually bothers me quite a bit. they’re very much real and people just dont get it so they think its delusions

right now the world and my mind are extremely scary and painful places for me. especially my mind tbh. but it’s making me act really unkindly to people i really care about and im not sure what to do about it. all i know is that i absolutely cannot keep behaving and feeling this way for much longer it’s just not ok for me ofc but not my loved ones either

[mocacheezy]

Forgetting that I do, in fact, have a disability that limits my ability to be social and active for extended periods of time, always ends up with me

I want to message & chat & voice call & meet up & screech over awesome stuff. And I am frustrated because I am constantly too tired.

I am frustrated beyond belief.

To folks that see me irl looking like this ↓

Yeah... It will pass, little bat is just... Welp. Ya know. Izčrpana od fajn stvari. It sucks, but this too shall pass.

Peace out folks, logging off for real this time (possibly deleting the app for a while as well. The queue is full atm, but for actual activity desktop might be kinder to my constantly fried brain.)

Here's to hoping important life events happening in the following week will be good. 🦇

[savage-rhi]

Kinda funny magenta.

[ablatheringblatherskite]

🏫

[0246h]

misophonia + sensory issues are torture. i'm so tired of all of this.

[thethingything]

okay so the effects of the ibuprofen start wearing off after about 8 hours, at which point our symptoms start getting really bad again, but at least once it kicks in we get relief pretty quickly and it seems to work really well.

we have a rash on our face that's been really red and sore and a few hours after taking the ibuprofen it looked like it'd almost completely vanished, but it started coming back again once the meds wore off, along with our sinuses and eyes getting really painful and our mouth getting so dry we can't swallow food without having water with it.

we've also got blepharitis in our left eye which we've had for a few days because we get it almost every time the rest of these symptoms flare up. holding a warm, damp cloth against our eye for a bit seems to help, but we also have to keep cleaning our eyelids which seems to also relief some of the irritation and pain.

I'm trying to take more breaks in the middle of doing stuff to get up, clean our eyes, drink a bunch of water with electrolyte mix, get a warm damp cloth to help with the eye and sinus pain, moisturise any especially dry skin, etc, and it sucks that managing a symptom flare that's absolutely wrecking our energy levels and ability to function requires using more energy to get up and do stuff that helps (and to remember to do that stuff) but I am proud of myself for how well I'm doing with it

[enlighten3d]

am i being unreasonable when i tell my mum that i dont want to go out and walk the dog tonight bcs my legs hurt. it hurts, i dont want to do it? obviously? but no, apparently i just dont want to work on myself and am content to stay suffering in my pain because its suchhhhh a convenient excuse!

how the fuck does putting myself in more pain lessen the pain. how. exercise? i guess? i dont blinding know

i cant even argue with her

[wyfy-meltdown]

I had a bad day today but that's okay because I'm going to make tomorrow better! Things won't stay bad forever so I need to keep trying, and even if I don't succeed that's okay because I can take life at my own pace!

[frogmoisturethief]

ughhhhhhhhh I’m gonna fail my lab practical tomorrow

[sage-is-in-fact-very-tired]

✨️jazz hands✨️ wow I wish I could just I don't know, fucking finish my milk in piece without it all being linked back to me wanting to play on the computer. like yeah guys good association its definitely true for sure guys you're so fucking smart huh, not like I maybe, I dunno know, just wanted to finish my milk and also get things done on the queue. not like thats a thing I could do. nope not at all for sure you're so smart thinking you know everything going on in my brain

[lyricamaxxing]

The WORST autistic struggle is when u genuinely dont know if ur in the wrong because the people who r saying you are keep screaming at you and throwing insults at you instead of just communicating it calmly so you misinterpret it as bullying and take it personally. So now you dont know what you did wrong AND your feelings are hurt

And then when u try to ask them to talk to u calmly or explain how ur feeling they just assume that ur toxic cuz “ur making it all about you” or “you cant be spoon fed everything”

[parvulous-writings]

What else have i to my name, besides a history for liking really buff, usually military, men?

[seventh-district]

Are you sad? Are you miserable? Is your life falling apart? Is your body falling apart? Does your head feel like it’s full of cotton, or perhaps TV static? Does it feel like the world is crumbling around you? Is it getting harder to force yourself through the daily motions? Is happiness getting increasingly harder to find?

Why not consider making a large, hyperfixation-fueled impulse purchase?

They won’t tell you this, but all of the happiness and satisfaction you’re searching for, along with each of those little chemicals that make your brain feel good, are all hidden within your very next large, hyperfixation-fueled impulse purchase!

So why don’t you go on ahead and grab that credit card, throw caution to the wind, and chase that good feeling? You certainly won’t regret it. No one has ever regretted making a large, hyperfixation-fueled impulse purchase! Never!

[mutantenfisch]

Once again stuck in the loop of being stressed out about bureaucratic things that in theory should not the biggest of deals but having my brain running in panic mode because 'what if i do something wrong/piss someone off' and then not being able to do anything due to this weird kind of paralysis and now the not-so-huge bureaucratic thing has become Even Bigger And Scarier *and* other people are involved and my perceived shame and guilt over not being a functioning adult at least one fucking time in my life has made it Even Worse.

[greghatecrimes]

spiritually banging my head against a wall. every time i start having respiratory/throat/chest symptoms from my mcas, I immediately flash back to all the times I've had anaphylaxis and get terrible anxiety. Survival mechanism, yes. But also... I am not having fun and I have not had full blown anaphylaxis since the early days of post mold exposure. so like. let's take a deep breath and calm down, body

[charmingradiobelle]

I’m sorry but why am I always the one who has to make the plans when it comes to hanging out with friends? Not to sound like a bitch but I’m literally the only one who makes any effort to reach out and plan something with my friends and lately it’s been kinda draining and lonely. Why am I always the one who has to put in the effort? Why am I the one who has to suggest that we hang out? Like I’m always the one who texts first and asks to see them and it’s never the other way around, ever. If I don’t ask for us to hang out then we don’t hang out.

I know I’m nobody’s first choice, but is it too much to ask to be a choice at all?