#by god just to show humanity how infinitely TINY they are compared to everything.. that math is so vast that it exists to act

[rendside]

your art is beautiful im rly curious about your wc ocs as well!!! what happened to harpy?

Harpy’s injury was by an attempt to drown him on the day where he was supposed to become the leader, by the previous leader. (Leaders in greater way are known as crown holders.)

[five-rivers]

Pennywort and Swallowtails

For @phantomphangphucker :)

Prompt:  Flynn, due to being Phantom’s aka the Ghost King’s family and part of the Zone’s society, receives a Prince title and is now getting crowned.

.

Flynn couldn’t put his finger on exactly why, but the Ghost Zone seemed different lately.  There was something in the atmosphere, almost.  It felt… lighter, maybe?  

He didn’t like it.  

After all these years in the Ghost Zone, he’d come to regard any change from the norm with suspicion.  The tendency had saved his life multiple times.  Usually, such changes were caused by a nearby and powerful ghost.  Or, on rare and terrifying occasions, a not so nearby and obscenely powerful ghost.

For example, that Pariah Dark guy he’d heard about from some of the ghosts he traded with.  Flynn sure was glad someone else had taken care of him.  Not that Flynn was much good in a fight against any ghost more powerful than that annoying one in overalls that showed up whenever Flynn so much as thought of making anything even vaguely box-shaped.

Which wasn’t that often.  Flynn had never really nailed the whole carpentry thing. Ha.  He’d never been super great at the whole square thing either. Because he wasn’t one.  Skipped school and everything.  The whole high school experience.  Ha.  

Sometimes he really cracked himself up, but only in the most depressing of ways.  

He sighed, heavily.  Maybe he should think about spending more time in his hideaway cave, under his cottage (aka his shack, it was a shack, who was he kidding).  Stock up on supplies.  Get ready to weather a storm.  Literal or metaphorical.  

But hiding out in the cave was so boring.  There wasn’t anything to do down there. Except try to design better grass shoes and to patch his increasingly ragged clothing with limited amounts of thread. He preferred being outside greatly. Even if it was just on his little floating island, messing around in his little garden, growing potatoes and blood blossoms, digging for those crystals ghosts seemed to fear and desire in equal measure.

Flynn was peripherally aware that he was supplying the ghosts he traded with the equivalent of ghost uranium (one of the few human-world things he’d picked up was a middle school science textbook), but…

Yeah.  Guy had to eat, and the Ghost Zone didn’t exactly have cops running all over the place, or the United Nations, or… yeah.  Honestly, the Ghost Zone didn’t have much of anything, at least not in these parts.  It was pretty empty around here.  

Just like Flynn’s heart.  

Ha.  

Yeah.  That was a good one.  

Eh.  Life wasn’t so bad.  He was sort-of-kind-of friends with half a dozen undead monsters of questionable morality, had his own house, most of his teeth, and copious free time.  Plus, it had been a while since the ‘rocks from nowhere’ decided to trash his roof.  Which was bad for the sport he had invented (Chucking Rocks into the Misty Void), but good for roof integrity.  And not having a concussion.  Or losing any more teeth.  

But, back to his original topic.  

Flynn glared absently at the Zone at large. Okay, yeah, something was going on. Was it Flynn’s problem? Maybe.  Was it directly Flynn’s problem?  No.  The day was otherwise clear and ‘normal’ (the term being used loosely in the Ghost Zone), so he might as well go about his day—

The sky tore open in front of him.  

Flynn recognized that.  Before he knew what he was doing, he threw himself away from the portal. The last time he’d stepped through one of those—

The thought crossed his mind that this portal might lead back to Earth, back home, back to Mom.  But he knew from his ghostly friends how unlikely it was that the portal would put him anywhere near his home physically, not to mention temporally. It might not even lead back to Earth for that matter.  

He took cover behind a boulder, cursing his blasé dismissal of potential danger.  Who knew what could come out of a portal?  At least according to the ghosts he talked to.  Hopefully, nothing came out that he couldn’t beat into submission with his ectoranium staff.  

This was going to suck so much.  

The portal disgorged three floating eyeball ghosts in voluminous robes.

(One of the other books Flynn had gotten his hands on was a dictionary.  Which he had read.  Twice. Living on a tiny floating island was boring when it wasn’t terrifying.)

Ah, heck.  He could take one ghost.  Three? Yeah.  Not a chance.  

Maybe they’d leave?  They couldn’t know for sure he was here.  With how unpredictable portals were, and all.

“Flynn Walker,” intoned the central eyeball ghost with a great deal of gravitas.  

Flynn’s body did something between a cringe and a blanch.  

He was never trusting Globithar the Lapidarist’s tall tales ever again.  He wasn’t going to give him any more discounts for them, either.  No way to control a portal his scarred left butt cheek.  

“Flynn Walker,” repeated the eyeball ghost, now with a touch of annoyance.  

“In accordance with the laws of the Infinite Realms,” said the leftmost ghost, in a higher-pitched voice, “we call you to take up your position in the Court of the King of All Ghosts as a member of his family.”

Ah, that ectocontamination Aunt Maddie had sometimes talked about had finally caught up with him, and he was hallucinating something fierce. Either that, or these ghosts thought unbelievable jokes were good bait.  They weren’t.  Flynn would know.  He’d made many unbelievable jokes.  They’d never attracted anything but groans.  

Ha.  

“This is ridiculous,” hissed the third ghost.  “He isn’t even a real ghost.”

“He’s more ghostly than Phantom’s sister,” said the second.  

“We don’t have any choice about her, though.  Can’t we simply… not tell Phantom about this Flynn? Especially if this cousin of his is so craven as to hide at a moment like this.”

Rude, but accurate.  

“He’ll find out,” said the first eyeball, tiredly. “He always finds out.  Damn Clockwork.”

This was officially too weird for Flynn.  Why were they cursing out clocks?

“Because they’re petty and don’t have anything better to do.”

Flynn may or may not have shrieked like a little girl at the voice behind him.  The uncertainty was mostly because Flynn hadn’t seen or heard a little girl since he was in the vicinity of his cousin, Jazz, which was years ago.  At least a decade.  

But he did scream.  Loudly.  Which he really should know better than to do, living in the Ghost Zone and all.  He brought his staff up defensively, too, though, so his self-preservation skills hadn’t completely shorted out.

“Clockwork!” chorused the eyeball ghosts.  

“Yes, yes,” said the ghost who’d snuck up on Flynn, flicking imaginary dust off his robe as he smoothly, and dizzyingly, shifted between ages.  “I’m sure you’re all very shocked that I’m here, after you just finished complaining about how much I know.”  He examined his fingernails.  “Now, Mr. Walker—”

“Walker?” shrieked one of the eyeballs.  

“Yes, he is related to our illustrious sheriff. As I was saying, I am here to bring you to your cousins, who have risen quite a bit in this world.”

“What.”

“It is, indeed, rather surprising,” said Clockwork. “To those who cannot see the twists and turns of fate.  Or those who are willfully blind to those twists and turns.”  He eyed the eyeballs.  

“What,” repeated Flynn, more forcefully.  

“Clockwork,” growled the lead eyeball.  

“Allow me to explain,” said Clockwork.  “Do you recall your youngest cousin, Daniel?”

“Uh,” said Flynn.  He adjusted his grip on his staff.  “Vaguely?”

“He was crowned King of All Ghosts a few weeks ago. As a member of his family and an active participant in ghost society, you are automatically a member of the court. Assuming you wish to be, of course.”

“You- You’re saying I have family here.”

“Indeed.”

“Like, Aunt Maddie?”

Something odd passed over Clockwork’s face.  “No.  Your cousins. Daniel, specifically.”

“Wait, wait, he was a baby.  Wouldn’t he only be, like, ten or something?”

“Fifteen,” corrected Clockwork.  

“How did he die?”

“You will have to ask him that,” said Clockwork.  He raised an eyebrow.  “If you would like, you can sleep on this and I will return tomorrow.”

Flynn bit his lip.  Hard.  Okay. He wasn’t dreaming.  And- And this ghost didn’t seem to be lying. What would the point of that even be, anyway?  Flynn was nothing.  He didn’t have anything they could possibly gain by lying like this.  

“I’ll go with you,” said Flynn.  

“Excellent,” said Clockwork, clapping his hands.  “Then let us away to the castle.”

.

Well.  That was certainly a castle.  Or a palace? Flynn wasn’t sure of the difference. The ghosts hadn’t lied about that, at least.  

It was a big step up from Flynn’s house.  Which, honestly, more deserved the title of hovel. Or perhaps shack.  

Or even hole, when compared to all this.  Dear god, this place was fancy.  

Flynn hunched his shoulders, feeling out of place even as Clockwork led him deeper into the massive edifice.  

Come on, Flynn, he thought furiously at himself. Some of these people aren’t even wearing skin.  You are not underdressed.  

Clockwork brought him to a normally sized (which was, incidentally, not a given in this place, which contained both huge and tiny doors) door with understated but elegant carvings.  “Here are your rooms,” said the ghost.  “You will find a selection of clothing in your size in the wardrobe, and the bathroom is fully stocked and human safe.”

“Human safe?”

“Human safe.”

That was ominous.  

“There is a bell in the room that will summon a servant should you need one.  I will collect you for dinner in three hours.  Long enough for you to relax, I should hope.”

Or long enough for him to worry himself into pieces and chew on their curtains.  

… There would be curtains, right?  This place had to be fancy enough to rate curtains.  

He opened the door.  

Lots of curtains.  Lovely.

No, really.  It had been so, so long since he’d seen curtains.  He might be crying.  

Oh, gosh, that bed looked so nice and soft.  He wanted to—

Wait, no, he was filthy.  Filthy.  Covered in years’ worth of grime.  He hadn’t had a proper bath since he’d still been living with his mom.  

Pathetic, right?

There was a human-safe bathroom in here somewhere. Beyond the snark, he was looking forward to having a human-safe bath.  He was craving a human-safe bath.  With clean water and soap.  

Could the bathroom also have toothbrushes?  Toothpaste?  Unrestrained luxury.  

The bathroom door was in the same style as the outer door, but the handle was different, lighter.  The inside was tiled and surprisingly modern.  

There was a sink.  

He played with the sink faucet for several long minutes before remembering that he’d come in to take a bath.  

He spent several minutes playing with the bathtub faucet.  

Then he got into the bathtub and experienced a half hour of combined panic (he didn’t really know how baths worked anymore, and the sensations were weird) and nirvana (the sensations were also good).

He had to keep cycling the water.  Because he made it so, so dirty.  He sank into the water, up to his chin.  

When he got out of the water, he decided his hair was a lost cause.  Because it was always a lost cause.  Only, it was even more of a lost cause now, because it was also wet and had been stripped of its usual protective layer of oils.  

There was a variety of toothbrushes and toothpastes available.  He tested them out and discovered that he would probably need the services of a dentist. A good one.  Were there ghost dentists?  There had to be ghost dentists.  They had a lot of teeth.  A lot of teeth.  Sharp, scary, teeth.  

Ugh.  His baby cousin was a ghost.  He’d probably have teeth like a shark.  When he’d last seen him, he’d hardly even had any teeth at all.  Because.  Baby. Little, tiny, baby.  

Who Flynn barely knew.  

Why did he even want Flynn?  Or was it just some weird ghost tradition thing?  

Ghosts were weird.  Anything could be possible.  

He flopped face-first onto the bed.  His bed?  His temporary and maybe permanent bed.  If he was allowed to stay here.  

Oh, gosh.  Clockwork and the eyeballs seemed to know how to make portals.  Could they make a portal back to the human world? To Earth?  

To Flynn’s proper time?

To Mom?  

He missed Mom so much, even after all this time.  

(Dad?  Not so much. He hardly remembered the man.)

He wouldn’t know until he asked, he supposed.  But asking maybe-royalty would be scary. Talking to all these powerful ghosts was scary enough by itself.  

Ehhhh, he thought he’d gotten rid of his more cowardly side by now.  He was living in the scariest place out of the world.  

Ha.  

Yeah.  

He crawled out of the bed, dragging his nice, clean self to the wardrobe.  Oh, boy. Many clothes.  He hadn’t even seen so many clothes since the last time he’d been in department store.  Incredible.  

They were so fancy, too.  He didn’t know how to choose.  

He didn’t even know how to wear half of these things. At least half of them.  

He began to tease lengths of fabric from the wardrobe and lay them on his bed.  Some of them looked cool.  And also the kind of thing that he’d destroy just by touching it.  

Except he had already touched them, and they hadn’t been destroyed yet.  Yet.

Oh, cool, there was underwear.  Wow.  It had been a while.  

.

Okay.  The bed was incredibly nice, but somehow too nice.  Like, no nap nice.  

He wanted to take a nap.  

But no nap was occurring.  

The bed was too soft.  Ugh.  This was like the thing in that one war novel he’d read when he was probably way too young to read it.  

He groaned.  He hadn’t thought that was real.  He’d thought it was an exaggeration, or just drama.  Or something.  

He crawled off onto the floor and the wonderfully plush carpet.  

Maybe he could sleep here.  

.

He woke up to a faint knocking sound and rolled sideways under cover.  What cover? Oh.  Bed.  That was the bed.  He was in the room.  In the castle.  The ghost king’s castle.  

His baby cousin’s castle.  

He was going to cry.  This was so weird.  

Embarrassed, he rolled back out from under the bed and threw on the first clothes that came to hand.  Which.  Might not have been the best of ideas.  But, hey, he was dressed now.  

He stumbled over to the door and spent several long, embarrassing seconds sleepily remembering how to open doors with this type of handle.  Eventually, though, he managed it.

Clockwork was standing there.  One of his eyebrows went up.  “Interesting choice.”

Flynn looked down.  Orange and green went fine together.  What was he talking about?  

Forget it, he wasn’t about to develop a sense of social shame after living in a hut for a decade or so.  

“Come, now.  Your cousins are expecting you.”

Flynn briefly considered ducking out, phasing through the floor and out of the castle using a tangibility trick he’d picked up a couple of years back.  At least, that would spare him from this ‘diner’ he was rapidly approaching.  

He decided not to do that.  Running away wasn’t his style.  

(Who was he kidding?  That was definitely his style.  He would have run away so, so much if he had anywhere to run to.)

(It wasn’t like he could exactly fight ghosts on even footing.  Each and every one of them had Martian Manhunter’s powerset.)

“Don’t be afraid, Flynn,” said Clockwork, looking back over his shoulder.  

“Do you, like, read minds?”

Clockwork chuckled.  “Only the future.”  He swung the large, gilded door open.  

Inside, there was a long table, set with silvery plates.  There were a small group of children beyond it.  One of them waved at him.  Was that Danny?

Flynn took a deep breath and walked forward, back to his family.  

[mochegato]

Hope on Board

Chapter 22 – With Friends Like These...

Chapter 1     Chapter 21

Sweat was rolling off of her body.  Her breath was coming in short, irregular pants, only broken up occasionally by mournful whimpers.  She gripped and released the sheets repeatedly as she turned over and over in bed. Her movements quickly escalated to thrashing as her whimpers became cries that were still quiet enough not to alert Dick as he worked in the living room.  He was completely engrossed in cross comparing a few reports he and the other Titans had turned in, until a cup fell off of the dresser across the room from Marinette.

“Mari!  Marinette!  Wake up! Marinette, you need to wake up.” Dick shook her gently trying to wake her without causing any more distress than she was under already.  His face was marked with deep lines from his concerned frown as he tried to wake her.  She’d been having nightmares on and off for a while, but this looked like the worst one yet.

Marinette’s eyes snapped open and she shot up, gasping for breath.  She whipped her head around taking in her surroundings, trying to get her bearings after her sudden reality shift.  Her eyes finally focused back on her environment as she made eye contact with Dick.  “Marinette, are you…”

Before he could finish his question, she had launched herself into his arms, hugging him much tighter than he had thought she was capable of.  “Dick!  Oh my God Dick.  You’re here,” she sobbed into his chest.  “You’re here.  You’re safe.” Her grip got impossibly tighter around him as she sobbed harder.

Dick let her squeeze him, refusing to complain as she squeezed his injured rib, likely further bruising it.  He hugged her back, rocking slightly as he ran his hands over her hair.  “It’s okay.  I’m okay.  I’m here. We’re okay,” he repeated over and over again in a soothing voice.  After a few minutes he tried to pull away slightly to wipe her tears, but she was still too tightly buried in his chest for him to see her face, so he kept repeating the comforting mantra hoping it would help.

This was definitely the worst one he had seen her have.  Her whole body was shaking and she was still crying fifteen minutes later.  She had mentioned having nightmares before, especially during the Hawkmoth reign, and he prayed it was nothing like this.  It was heartbreaking to watch her like this, especially knowing there wasn’t anything he could do to help her or fix it.  He just had to sit there and watch her break down.

After a while, Marinette’s tears finally started to slow and her breath started evening out again. Her body had stopped shaking, but Dick wasn’t sure if that was because she had worn herself out or if she was calming down, or both.  When he was confident she was calmer, he leaned back slightly to look at her face. Her eyes were still closed, but at least the tears had stopped.  “Hey,” he started, gently wiping away the tear tracks and brushing her bangs out of her face, “you okay?”

Marinette pressed her lips together and nodded timidly, still not opening her eyes.  “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked quietly, trying not to disrupt her delicate calm.

Marinette took a deep breath and slowly let it out as she finally opened her eyes.  Dick gasped at the forlorn look in her eyes.  “Hey, hey.  It was just a nightmare.” He pulled her back in for another hug.  “It wasn’t real.  It was just a nightmare.”  He kissed the crown of her head then her forehead then her temple.  “It wasn’t real.”

Marinette opened her mouth and immediately closed it, blinking back tears.  She squeezed her eyes shut and rested her head on his chest, taking a few deep breaths.  She pulled away when her heartrate slowed again and looked back up at him.  As he watched, her face slowly morphed to appear more hopeless.  Her forehead had just a shadow of lines and her lips ticked down slightly.  Her gaze shifted to over his shoulder as if looking to the distance for inspiration or permission.

Suddenly, she took a deep breath and gave a shadow of a nod, returning her attention to Dick.  “It was…” she looked down and her brow furrowed further.  “I…” she tried again.  She took a deep breath and looked off to the side.  Dick watched her patiently, letting her prepare herself and find the words she needed in her own time.  While she figured out what she wanted to say he rubbed gentle circles against her back.

“It was kind of real. It was… Some akumas were worse than others,” she started slowly.  Dick nodded in understanding.  It was a memory.  Past fights that went bad or where someone just barely survived, one inch to the left or the right, one moment slower or faster would have resulted in their death, were always the worst nightmares for him.  All the what ifs, but with the added force of being rooted in reality.

“There was one… You can never tell Adrien!” she suddenly looked desperate.  “He doesn’t know about this one.  You can never tell him.  Promise,” she demanded pulling on his shirt in desperation.  Dick gave her a confused look but nodded.  There were akumas that she lived through that Adrien didn’t and weren’t on the record for him to discover?

Assured of his silence, Marinette continued.  “There was one that… One of the miraculous can time travel.  Her entire reason for existing is to keep the miraculous from destroying the timeline, from destroying the world too badly.  I mean, bad things can and do happen, that’s fine… I mean, not fine, but… you know.  That doesn’t trip her sensors.  But apocalyptic events… those activate her.”

Dick started to open his mouth to ask questions, but immediately shut it.  She needed to talk at her own pace and he needed to give her that opportunity no matter how apprehensive he was.  ‘Apocalyptic’ sounded significantly worse than he was anticipating.  “So one day, she came to take me to the future.” She looked out the window for a few seconds.  “Did you know miraculous wielders could get akumatized when they were transformed?” she gave a mirthless chuckle.  “Because they can.  They’re still human.  They still have emotions.  And A… And Chat had a lot.  I don’t know exactly what happened but… everything was gone.  There was nothing.  There were no people, there were no animals, not even sea animals.  Nothing but water and a destroyed moon… and Chat.  All alone and white.  Chat Blanc,” she whispered in a despondent voice.

“But, why you?  Why would the miraculous person get you?” Dick asked softly, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice.  Marinette wasn’t a hero.  She shouldn’t have been involved in any of that.  She shouldn’t have had to see that, to experience it.  She was a civilian!  She should have been put in a situation that would cause her nightmares years later.

“She needed the people Chat loved the most and loved him the most.  She needed Ladybug and me.” Marinette shrugged.  “She needed us to get through to him.  Hawkmoth no longer controlled him, because he had died along with everyone else… including me… but, the way Hawkmoth created akumas, they mess with the victim’s head, even without his control.  They can no longer think straight.  They can’t reason.  They don’t remember…” her eyes got distant again.  “He tried to kill me.  He almost did.  A few times. I… He… I trusted him more than anyone else in my life at that time.”

Dick pulled her into another hug.  That he understood.  Someone you loved and trusted being under mind control and trying to hurt you? Yeah, he’d lived through that too. The memory never really leaves you. The knowledge that they could do that never goes away, not fully.  “I’m so sorry,” he whispered into her hair.

“That was the dream.  I was back there, surrounded by nothing but water… water and him… but this time it wasn’t me he wanted to kill, it was you. And I couldn’t protect you.  I couldn’t reach him in time to save him this time.  I couldn’t save you.  I had to watch you…” she started crying again.  She buried her head in his chest again as she sobbed.  

Not for the first time Dick wished he had been there when they took down Gabriel Agreste, or that he tried to escape and the Titans got to be the ones to capture him.  The damage he had done to Marinette, the pain and suffering he had caused her was immeasurable, but Dick would gladly take the opportunity to pay it back.

After she had cried herself out and had calmed down, she pulled away and looked at the time.  “Oh, we’re going to be late.”

Dick shook his head, his brow furrowed.  “You’re kidding.  We don’t have to go, Marinette.  We can just do this another night.  That nightmare took a lot out of you.”

“No,” she exclaimed loudly. “I haven’t met all your friends yet. I really want to meet them and they’re never in town.  I want to go.”

“My friends are planning on being in town for a little while.  We’ll have other opportunities,” he assured her.

She gave him a determined look.  “I don’t want to let the fear control my life.  And with the fashion show coming up, I probably won’t have a lot of time.  Let me just take a shower and I���ll get ready.  I really want to go.”

Dick let out a resigned sigh. “Do you want to take a bath instead? We can be late, they’ll understand, and the bath might help you relax.  Maybe I can even join you.”

Marinette gave him a small giggle.  “I don’t think there’s enough room for me and anyone else in the bath or shower.  I’m massive.” She looked up at him with an appreciative smile.  “But thank you.”

“You’re not massive. You’re tiny considering you’re three people in one,” Dick smirked at her.  Marinette groaned and pushed him away as she tried to get up before deflating and asking him to help her get up off the bed.  “How about instead… can we lay down together for a few minutes?” he asked slowly.  “I know you don’t want to be late, but I’d really like a few minutes to just lay down with you.”  Marinette gave him an understanding smile and nodded, positioning herself to lay in Dick’s arms, her head resting on his shoulder and his arms wrapped protectively around her.

<><><><><> 

Dick was infinitely grateful to the other Titans for being willing to move their base of operations to Gotham while they tracked down the final bits of information they needed to end the Court’s plan and to Bruce for providing the series of flats for the five of them to stay indefinitely.  On the bright side, that meant his friends finally got to meet Marinette, which Donna and Lilith had been asking about since he first mentioned her, and Marinette got to meet them, which he knew she’d been craving just as long.

The downside was this was where they did all their planning.  This was essentially their base of operations and they were letting her in when she didn’t know about their alter egos and were under strict instructions from Dick not to tell her.  Not unexpectedly, that resulted in a bit of tension in his friends.  Lilith was absolutely brilliant at covering it up, but Wally, Garth, and Roy were tenser than guitar strings.  Dick had to send more than one glare to Wally to get him to stop tapping his feet or fingers at superhuman speeds and at Roy and Garth to get them to stop unintentionally glaring.

“Marinette!” Lilith welcomed her as soon as the door opened.  “It is so nice to meet you!  Dick talks about you all the time.  I’m so glad we were finally able to find time to visit.  How are you feeling?” She ushered her into the room with an excited smile and an arm around her shoulders.

“You must be Lilith,” Marinette smiled at her.  “Dick talks about you guys all the time, too.  It is really nice to meet you.”

Wally and Garth stood up to welcome her while Roy watched her from his seat.  “Yep, that’s me.  That,” she pointed to the redhead standing up, “is Wally.  That,” she pointed to the man next to him with black hair, “is Garth. And the lazy brute sitting down is Roy.”

“Where’s Donna?” Dick asked popping a chip in his mouth and making his way to Marinette’s side.

“She wanted to finish up a few things,” Garth answered in a voice that Marinette was positive was intended to mean something to the rest of the people there.  

Marinette coughed suddenly when she heard Plagg making noises in her purse.  She dropped her arms suddenly, “accidentally” hitting her purse with a sharp impact.  She looked back to the group with an overly wide smile.  “So, Dick didn’t tell me what brought you guys to town,” she prompted.

The group looked back and forth between each other a few times before trying to subtly look at Dick for an answer.  Marinette fought to keep the smile on her face and keep from laughing at the awkwardness. There was something going on that they didn’t want her to know about.  That wasn’t so bad, her friends would do the same, they would just be better at covering it up, they had been better at covering it up in front of Dick.  But Dick’s friends were bad at it and they knew they were bad at it so it was creating a tense atmosphere, making everything worse.  She didn’t know what they were keeping secret, but she really, really hoped it wasn’t anything important because none of these people would be good spies.

Dick gave her a wide smile. “They said it was a break from school so they’re taking their break here instead of Cancun.”

Marinette was greatly tempted to ask them about what school they went to and what they studied, just to see how they would react.  Plagg hadn’t gotten too much amusement lately and she was sure he would appreciate it, but she held back.  These were Dick’s friends and they, and he, were allowed to have secrets.  She also didn’t want to start off their friendship by being mean just to amuse herself.  So instead she plastered on a smile and offered, “That’s so nice, giving up the beach to come to Gotham.  It’s almost never sunny here.”

Roy’s eyes narrowed at her as if calculating something, but Lilith waved her off.  “Oh, we can go to the beach anytime, but we were dying to meet you.”

Talk seemed to come easier after that, though the underlying sense of tension never seemed to go away. The more she tried to ignore the awkwardness and move past it, the more Roy seemed to glower as though not appreciating the dishonesty of it.  The rest of the group were more than willing to pretend and move forward until it wasn’t so awkward anymore and it seemed like it worked for Lilith and Wally, who were now enthusiastically conversing with Marinette about gaming and fashion and pastries, Marinette had promised to bake a few different treats for him to try.

“Dick!  I have something!” A black haired woman burst into the room.  She glanced over and noticed Marinette as she rushed in.  Her expression immediately morphed into a strained smile.  “You must be Marinette!  It’s so nice to meet you.  Dick has said so many sweet, lovesick things about you.  I’m so sorry I’m late.  I was working on… something.”  She gave Dick a significant look and an excited smile.  “I’m so sorry to hit and run, but can I borrow your boyfriend for just a few minutes just over here?”

That wasn’t at all suspicious.  Seriously, at this point, she was beginning to suspect a cult going on.  Marinette gave her a smile.  “Not at all.  I’ve been dying to take a look at the view from up here anyway.” She motioned toward the balcony and the view beyond it, which was a fairly good view of Gotham’s lights from the top floor of the centrally located apartment building.

“Okay.  I won’t be long,” Dick assured her as he helped her get up with a kiss to the temple.  He pulled Roy aside to whisper in his ear.  He was trying to convince him of something based on Dick’s severe gestures.

Marinette smiled at him and moved out to the balcony.  She took a deep breath of the not quite crisp air, but certainly clearer than the air in that room.  She just needed a few seconds to recollect herself before she went back into the room. She could do this.  These were Dick’s friends.  They mattered to him so she needed to make more of an effort. They mattered to him so therefore they mattered to her as well.  She would just focus on Lilith and Wally and hopefully the others would eventually warm up to her as well, although she got the impression Garth always acted like that.

“Beautiful from up here, isn’t it?” Roy asked as he joined her on the balcony.  He closed the door behind him before turning back to look at the city.  “It almost looks peaceful, but then again beautiful things can be deceptive.”

Marinette blinked at him a few times trying to figure out the meaning behind his words.  Did he mean Dick was being deceptive?  Was it a general comment on beautiful people?  Did he go through a breakup recently?  Oh, her line was deceptively beautiful.  Had he seen pictures of it?  Marinette shook her head and turned back to the night scene. She wasn’t going to figure it out without talking more.  “It is. I guess I’ve been lucky.  The city has been pretty peaceful for me so far. In fact, I’ve had an amazing time here, but I’m pretty sure that has more to do with Dick than the city.”

Roy leaned against the balcony railing and looked over to her with a seductive smile.  “It probably has more to do with the fact that you’re gorgeous.”

Marinette froze. What?  Was he… She immediately shook her head.  No, he was trying to be nice.  She looked like a beached whale and he was trying to make her feel better about herself, just in the most incredibly awkward way possible.  It was just her hormones and stress and the effects of the tension from the meeting making her see things that aren’t there. He was like Kim, good heart but dumb and didn’t understand socially acceptable boundaries.  “Thank you,” she smiled kindly at him.  Kim was able to communicate better when he was calmer, so if she could get Roy to relax, they could have a more casual, less awkward conversation.  “You are too.”

Roy chuckled deeply. “Thank you.  You know, I was with him the first night he met you.  I think Dick got lucky he found you first.  I wish I would have gotten to you before him.”

Marinette froze again. Well, she didn’t imagine that. Bastard was hitting on his friend’s pregnant girlfriend.  “Um…” What the fuck did she say to that?

Roy misinterpreted her silence and moved closer to her so he was within arm’s length of her.  “I don’t know if Dick told you, but I’m actually a lot richer than he is.  I could keep you in a lot more comfort, if you were interested.”

Marinette continued to stare at him dumbfounded.  He reached up to touch her cheek, finally sparking movement in Marinette.  Her eyes narrowed and she slapped Roy as hard as she could.  Hard enough to leave a dark red mark on his cheek in a very clear shape of a handprint. “What is wrong with you?  Even if I didn’t love Dick, I wouldn’t go for someone like you, you disgusting, wretched excuse for a human being.”

She stormed back into the room and looked around for Dick.  He and Donna were no longer in the corner they had been in.  In fact, she didn’t see them anywhere in the room. “Hey Lilith?”

Lilith looked up from the laptop she, Wally, and Garth were looking at, only now noticing she was back in the room.  “Hey, done with the view?  I don’t blame you.  It gets kind of boring after a bit.”

Marinette gave her a strained smile.  “Yeah… do you know where Dick is?”

Lilith paled slightly, her eyes flicked over to the boys.  “Um… I think he and Donna went to her apartment to go over… that thing.” Marinette took a deep breath.  And he left.  He left her there.  “Hey, are you okay?” Lilith asked, concern lacing her voice.  She moved over to Marinette to get a closer look at her.

“Yeah, yeah, fine. Um.  I’ll text him.  I had something come up and I need to leave.  It was really nice meeting you guys though.  Have a great night.  I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.”  She rushed out of the room before anybody could ask any questions.  As soon as the door closed behind her, she ran to the elevator.  Her breath was ragged and tears were streaming down her cheeks.  What the hell just happened?  What the hell was all that?  And then Dick was just gone.  Did Dick know how terrible his friend was?

She stumbled out of the elevator and left the complex in a daze.  She needed to go home.  She needed to lay down.  She needed to think and she needed to lay her head on Dick’s chest.  She was a few blocks away before she remembered to text him. She sent a quick text to him saying she suddenly felt lightheaded and was grabbing a taxi to head home.  She got a text back almost immediately asking if she was sure she was okay.  She smiled at her phone and shot back a text confirming she really was fine.  

Before she could put her phone back in her purse it dinged again with a message from Dick.  He said he was going to stay with his friends and might be there all night.  Marinette stared at her phone.  He wasn’t coming home tonight.  He was going to stay with them.  She wasn’t going to be able to comfort herself with his heartbeat.  She was going to have to deal with it on her own. She could go to Adrien, but she didn’t want Adrien getting even angrier at Dick and she couldn’t go to Dick’s brothers when she was having problems with Dick.  

She started gasping for breath again.  Luckily or unluckily, depending on how you saw it, there weren’t many people on the street so there wasn’t anyone to judge her breakdown.  Dick was staying with those horrible people.  He had talked with Roy before he came out to hit on Marinette.  Was it a test?  Was Dick testing her?  Did he really not trust her after all this time?  She gripped her head.  There was too much.  It was too much coming at her all at the same time.

She startled when she felt a hand on her shoulder.  She lunged to punch the person’s exposed side and swept her leg under him to knock him down so she could run away… well waddle away.  She couldn’t really run right now.  “Fuck Pi… lady.  I was just checking on you.”

Marinette paused just long enough to look back at who she knocked down, which she knew was stupid. This was Gotham.  Any weakness like she was showing got punished severely. Once she finally registered the red mask and who she had knocked down, she took a deep breath and walked back to him. “Sorry.  You caught me off guard and I just reacted.”

“Don’t apologize. Those were really good moves, especially considering how much of you is baby right now,” Red Hood motioned to her stomach.  “I shouldn’t have snuck up on you.  I just wanted to check on you.  You look like you were a bit distressed.  You okay?”

Marinette let out a sharp laugh.  “Yeah awesome.  My boyfriend’s friend just hit on me, suggested that the only thing I would be interested in is money so I should leave my boyfriend for him.  And when I got back to the party, my boyfriend was gone and he’s apparently going to stay with that asshole all night.  I’m awesome.  Everything is awesome.  Life is just awesome.”

“Yeah… that’s a few too many awesomes to be real and way too many awesomes for that fucked up situation. Want me to go kick someone’s ass? Maybe your boyfriend?” He offered.

The voice modulator prevented her from being able to pick up on how serious he was in his offer, but with Red Hood’s reputation for violence, she didn’t want to take the chance. “No!  He doesn’t know.  I wanted to tell him in person.” She chewed her lower lip.  Her mind finished the sentence with ‘or maybe he knew,’ but she wasn’t going to unload all that on this poor vigilante who was just trying to help.

“Okay, how about I get you home instead then?  How would you feel about riding in the Batmobile?” he offered with a quirk to his head.

“I would love it, but I don’t think I’ll fit right now.  Hit me up after the babies are born,” she gave him a wry smile.  “Maybe my boyfriend and I can both do it.”

“Fuck him.  He left you, this is his punishment.”

“He didn’t leave me,” Marinette objected.

“Right,” he answered, seemingly unconvinced.  “I’ll have Oracle call a reliable cab then and wait until you get in.”  He touched his ear as he said it, giving Marinette the impression that it was already done.

“You don’t have to do that. I’m sure you have more important things to do.  More important people to help.”

“I have nothing more important than this,” he assured her.  “I’m done for the day anyway.  I just have an archer to pummel and a sister-in-law to check on.”

“You have a sister-in-law? Actually don’t answer that. Secret identities and all,” she waved him off suddenly.  “Thank you for this.”

He shrugged.  “It’s my job.”

“You’re really good at it,” she smiled at him.  He was stopping for no reason, calming down a hysterical, crying, pregnant mess when there was no reason for him to.  It showed a big heart.

Red Hood faced her silently for a few seconds.  She felt like he might be staring at her but it was hard to tell under the mask.  She started to think she said something wrong when he finally spoke up again.  “I… not a lot of people say that to me and it means a lot coming from you.  Thank you.”  He gave her a hug only pulling away when her cab pulled up.

Chapter 23

Note: pregnancy nightmares can be a bitch even when there isn’t something to give you nightmares, hormones and pregnancy brain will create one.  And if you were already prone to anxiety (Marinette) you’re screwed.

Also, to explain Roy, he noticed that Marinette was acting extremely fake, because you know, everyone there was and she was trying to pretend like she didn’t notice.  Having seen LOTS of people coming onto Oliver and Bruce in the past for their wealth, he was suspicious and testing Marinette. Being the brilliant dumbass he is, he put two and two together and got 7.

Tags:

@dickinette-february @demonicbusiness @ichigorose @iloontjeboontje @ladybug-182 @toodaloo-kangaroo @dast218 @golden-promises @trippingovermyfeet @emimar7 @laurcad123 @lady-bee-fechin @thewitchwhowaited @redscarlet95

[megthemewlingquim]

Poly fic Eve x reader x Adam

Stars

Summary: You, Adam and Eve go out into the middle of nowhere and look at the stars.

Pairing: Adam x Reader x Eve

Warnings: A given for Adam — some harsh language.

A/N: Alright, let's try something new. There is a footnote here, but you don't even have to pay attention to it if you don't want to.

"Hey, uh, Adam?"

The musician looks upward as you make your way into the doorway of his living room. He is currently hitting a guitar with a cello bow. Experimenting in D minor. "Yeah?" he asks, his eyes soft.

"Eve wants to know if we can go out tonight. She says it's going to be a lovely night for the stars. Cassiopeia is going to be out, since it's fall now."

He blinks. "Where are we gonna go?"

"Er... just around the corner. We could even just go in the backyard if you want." Your voice is quiet, shy. You didn't mean to interrupt him with his work.

"There are wolves around here," he says blankly. "We're gonna have to go a little further than around the corner. Tell her I'm ready to go when you guys are."

You nod, then go out of the room. You hear another D minor chord as you leave. It sounds pretty, but sad, as most minor chords do.

"What did he say?" says Eve, her eyes bright and curious. Her hair is tied up, and her gloves are on the table.

"He said we should go out further than the backyard because of the wolves. But he's all ready to go."

She nods. "Ah. Okay. You're ready, love?"

"Yep," you say with a grin. "I'm ready."

"Good." Her voice is honey, melodic and sweet. White smile and wrinkle covered face — smiling and laughing can do that to you. She reaches out and caresses your cheek a little.

And for a moment, you know she can sense the love you feel for the both of them, the husband and wife that let you in and told you their secret, the couple that, somehow, loves you in the same way that they love each other.

"Ready?" asks Adam, coming around the corner. His face is covered by shadows, and his eyes show a single star in them, a tiny ball of white.

You smile. "Yeah. Do you want to bring your lute?"

"I've already put it in the backseat."

Eve chuckles at that. "I'm surprised you're actually going. I thought you'd want to stay inside, because of the humans that come around."

"No," Adam says, his face remaining still. "Ian took care of them before Ava came around."

You nod, not saying anything after that. Ian is still a tough topic for Adam, understandably.

"Besides," Adam says, his straight line of a mouth tilting upward into a smile just a little, "I'd rather spend time with my loves anyway."

Loves. That's always something that a little part of you will doubt. The plural that Adam speaks of.

Eve's hand drifts down to your own hand, and squeezes it gently. "Now, darling," she says, her voice feather light and whispery, "I don't know what you're thinking, only what you're feeling. But now is not the time for doubt. Let's go have some fun, yeah?"

You smile, nod your head once. "Sure!"

Adam leads you and Eve out of the house, his gloved hand trailing behind him to connect with Eve's. Her arm is likewise stretched behind her to lock hands with you. A train, you think.

Today is a day where you are in the backseat. Adam and Eve sit in their usual seats, driver and passenger. Tomorrow, you will all rotate, and you will drive, with Adam next to you and Eve behind you. So it goes. Equal time with everyone in the car.

"Where to, love?" Eve asks. While they discuss where to go, you put your seat belt on and glance over at the lute next to you — which is laying on the seat facing forward, almost like a little person. It does have a voice, you think. And an age. And Adam does call it a he.

You run your hand over the ginormous fretboard just like Eve would, careful not to even scratch it.

The car starts to move.

It doesn't take too long for you to end up near an empty field. Adam drives off of the road when he thinks the spot is right, and you glance out of the window to actually look at where you are.

Long, light brown grass that sticks up and waves in the gentle breeze, a deep blue sky with a little bit of a lighter blue in the west, and stars.

Stars, little white balls of gas that are clustered together, or all spread out in the sky, langourously, like Eve on her husband's lap.

And there are millions of them.

Eve glances back at you, and, seeing that you're looking out to your right, turns to look as well. She gasps, a little excited sigh leaving her.

"Oh, it's beautiful!"

Adam puts the car in park, the old stick shift jerking clumsily as he grips it. "I have blankets too, so we can go on the car hood. Or the roof. Dunno."

"I call the roof!" you say, excitedly. "Is — is that okay?"

They nod, and as you practically bounce out of the car, they look at each other.

"She reminds me of Ava," Eve says softly. "I know I've told you that before."

"Yes," Adam mumbles, that little smile curving up his mouth again, "you have. But she's... she's not as mischievous as Ava. Ava's more..."

"Carnal?"

"Yeah. Annoying. Rude. Young. Stupid."

"Adam, you forget. Ava's technically your sister in law."

"So? Fuck her."

"Adam." Eve's voice now has a tone of warning in it. "You may not like her, and I can fully understand why, but we shouldn't say such things."

Her tone softens again. "Our darling, however ... she's none of those things. Well, she's young. Very young, compared to us."

A tap on the window, then. Your voice, muffled by the closed windows:

"Are you guys coming up, or are you too busy fucking in the backseat?"

"We've never done that," Adam sighs. "We'll be up in a second, love."

"I miss you." You sound like you're whining, but they know it's all good fun. "Come up, pwease."

Eve smiles. "Oh, alright. Come on, Adam."

They both get out of the car, and find you spread out on the car's roof, facing upward toward the infinite sky above you. The air is pleasant, neither too hot nor too cold. Adam gets his lute from the backseat.

Eve gasps again. "There she is!"

She, you quickly notice, is not talking about you. Her eyes are also looking up, wide and joyfully, at the sky above you. She's found Cassiopeia.

Adam and Eve both get onto the car hood, their eyes not leaving the sky. They are illuminated by the moonlight, and the blue of the sky, which is now becoming blacker as time goes on.

They both lay on the blankets you've put down, their heads almost touching yours.

It's a beautiful night for absorbing things.

As Adam gently plucks some lute strings in A minor*, you all breathe together.

You lay there for a while, almost lured to sleep by the gentle chords and Eve's mumbling:

"That's Cassiopiea, see the little M? And over there, a little below that... oh, that's King Cepheus.

"Those two were lovers, back in ancient Greece. Cassiopeia was vain, too vain, and it became her downfall when she claimed she was more beautiful than the gods.

"Hera, the queen of the gods, heard this from Olympus. She rushed down to Cassiopeia and, in her anger, tied her to a chair upside down and threw her into the sky, and that's how she became a constellation. 'Let's see how beautiful you are in the sky,' she said. 'Now, you can show everyone how beautiful you are.'

"Cepheus, in his grief, begged Zeus to let him stay with her as another constellation, and Zeus was so moved by Cepheus's love for Cassiopiea that he threw Cepheus into the sky, too.

"And there they are, right next to each other, their love for each other still just as constant."

"But she was vain," you point out sleepily, looking at the lovers in the sky, "her ego was too great for her. How could the king have loved her that much?"

Eve shrugged. "I don't know. Love is weird like that."

"If there's one thing I've learned about love," Adam says, "it's that it can endure everything, even the flaws of the people it has been sparked between." His voice is soft with thought, very deep thought.

And, as if they've previously talked it through, Adam and Eve both reach upward, and connect your hand with their own.

* 'Our Hearts Condemn Us', Josef Van Wissem

[whereflowersbloom]

I liked you first

Part 4

Fuck. She was getting closer, he could hear the echo of her footsteps walking across the hall. He was positive she was on her way to his table. This had to be a fucking joke. Damian looked around and tried to convince himself it was his mind playing tricks on him. Perhaps it was the wine. Definitely he’d blame the wine. However he knew it wasn’t possible. He had only had one glass. Furthermore he developed a high tolerance for alcohol. There was no way he was drunk. At all. Damian has met beautiful women the past years. Attending Galas, charity events, and suchlike, as a Wayne. He did what was expected of him. Some were dates, others one night stands to satisfy his carnal needs as any other man. Every single one meaningless. Yet, they were nothing compared to this dazzling beauty before his sharp eyes. Pure and innocent as beautiful. Delicate as porcelain. This couldn’t be Rachel Kent. Jonathan’s sister. His date tonight. The simple idea seemed inconceivable.

He felt a warmth rising from within, a low gentle burn starting at his core, and stretching out into his limbs. He doesn’t recognize it, or possibly his logical mind refused to acknowledge it. He tenses, the sound around him mutes.

Rachel was too nervous to interpret the expression on his handsome face. She took a few deep breaths to slow down her racing heart. The unsettling feeling that's been building up in her since she entered the restaurant takes on new edges. An uncomfortable awareness of something she can’t quite put words to gnawing at the back of her mind. His penetrating gaze probably. There she was, standing in front of him. The man that stole her heart when she was a timid, troubled child, covering her affection with indifference. She longed to run her fingers through his dark hair. It looked so silky. His lips seemed to beckon to her to be kissed. Oh the dream of her teenage years.

“Damian.” She breathed torn between joy and agitation at seeing him for the first time in over ten years.

Fucking Richard Grayson. Damian swears in his head. She’s there. She’s right in front of him and he’s paralyzed, stunned. She was moving her rosy lips. God, he’d beg for a taste, those full lips were made for his. To be kissed properly. He found himself unable to hear a sound. His surroundings, her voice, nothing. His attention and thoughts too focused on those electric blue eyes. How intense and beautiful they are. All of her. She embodied the essence of everything that was supremely, exquisitely, unbelievably stunning. Becoming a beauty incarnate. Say something he commanded his body. It didn’t respond. Her expression showed concern, confusion, she must think he was ignoring her. Fuck.

“Oh.” Was all he managed to mutter. Seven hells. Is that all he can come up with? What in the world was happening to him? Facing a gorgeous woman and suddenly he was speechless, behaving like an inexperienced teenager. It was unacceptable.

He tried to focus again. Damn it. She folded her arms, her forehead shifting. It became immediately obvious to Damian that his staring wasn’t as subtle as he’d been hoping and he gave her the impression he was giving her the cold shoulder. How wrong she was. “Damian?” His hearing was finally back. He snapped out of it.

He cleared his throat, he was a complete mess. “Rachel?” He asked in disbelief. He wasn’t himself. All kind of thoughts swirling around his head. She nodded, smiling at him. He took a deep breath. It had to be a joke. He had to be sure it wasn’t an hallucination. “Rachel Kent?” He asked again, blinking incredulous. What was that in his voice? Was he stumbling over his words?

“Well, unless you were expecting another Rachel Kent.” She raised her eyebrows, blue eyes twinkling with humor, mildly puzzled by his actions.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear innocently and stretched her hand, offering it to him. It took him a whole minute to process what was happening and react. He shook his head and hesitantly took her tiny, pale hand. Damian was acutely aware of the exact moment their hands touched. He tried not to get caught up in the way her palm, her skin was so soft. He was touching her, even if it went in the places he wished to. Then he felt annoyed at himself for noticing it. The little jolt warming his skin beneath their joined hands. It was just a handshake. Nothing, Something he did on daily basis with dozens a of people.

“So, mind if I sit down now?” She gestured the chair, asking shyly. A smile tugs at her lips.

He wanted to punch himself. Where were his manners. Alfred would be utterly disappointed and tell him he should be ashamed of his behavior. He attempted to stand up but his feet failed him and lost balance at the last minute. He avoided the fall, grabbing the edge of the table. Thanks to his quick reflexes. He was terribly embarrassed and furious. He cursed in his mind again. A waiter approached him and asked him if he was alright or needed anything. He dismissed him cordially, saying he was fine and it wasn’t necessary. He regained composure and helped his date sit in her chair. Tsk. He was infinitely grateful his siblings weren’t there to witness it.

He sat down again, shifting in his chair, trying to find a comfortable position. He was angry at himself, his ridiculous actions, lack of self-control. It infuriates him.

Rachel covered her mouth with her hand, suppressing a giggle. It was the first time in a long time she’s seen Damian Wayne being clumsy. Even when they were kids, he was a natural leader, a prodigy, genius. Always doing everything flawlessly, mastering every activity or task. Growing up she couldn’t help but feel inadequate. She was eager to see new sides of him. He appeared to be so perfect, it pained her at times. This was so human. Was he okay though?

Rachel was looking at him worried. “Are you alright?” She reaches out to touch his hand, it was her first instinct, but he instantly moved his arm away, avoiding her touch. It was a reflex. He didn’t mean to. Their eyes lock, hers full of emotion, was that disappointment, sadness in those shinning eyes? He loses himself in those clear, deep blue wells.a part of him wants to look away, hide his embarrassed at his reaction to her touch. But there it was this foreign feeling. It was killing him, annihilating his sanity, slowly. Without mercy.

“I’m sorry.” He exhaled. Guilt. He felt guilt. He was trying to regain control of his actions and emotions.

“No apology necessary.” She sighed, did her best to smile sincerely. But anyone could see the truth through her eyes. Those weren’t the words she'd been hoping he'd say, but she it was her mistake for assuming she could touch him. This was better than fighting. And she had promised herself she wouldn't hold him to her selfish expectations? It was nobody’s fault Damian didn’t want her. Wasn't even his, if she was being honest with herself. Just because she harbors romantic feelings for him...it didn't mean he was obligated to reciprocate those feelings.

Damian’s senses were reeling. He tried to speak but found words has scattered from his mind. Never in his life had the sight of a woman affected him to this point. Not even remotely. He was so taken taken aback by her unadorned beauty, that he was undeniably drunk in her loveliness. This strange, sick feeling was making him lose his cool, his control.

Words bubbles up in his throat, he swallowed them down, gulping air like fish out of the water. For the very first time in his life he felt like a fish out of water. He didn’t know what words to pronounce, dominate his emotions or actions. He was Damian Wayne, he wasn’t supposed to feel this way. He was raised to achieve success and excellence. One look at her and he loses it. Shit. His head was throbbing.

“I know it’s been a long time.” She says quietly, looking down, avoiding eye contact with him.

This encounter had fractured his composure, and with the floodgates broken, Damian was struggling not to drown in his emotions. There she was again, avoiding him, like when they were children. It was irritating, not knowing the reason she despise him, or what in the seven hells did he do? He let out a pained snarl, struggling to overpower a foreign sensation clawing up his chest that was making it difficult to breathe.

“Why? Why did you agree to this date with me?” He asked coldly, frustrated, agitated. He needed answers now.

This caught her attention, getting back to reality. Rachel’s eyes open wide. “I thought it was an opportunity to get to know each other.” She said in a quiet tone, almost in a whisper. She was biting her lower lip.

“Oh really? Because 10 years ago if I recall correctly you didn’t seem interested. You hated me.” He bit out, eyes narrowed falling on her figure. Hurt battling with anger, but anger was easier to cling to. He was releasing all his frustration but he didn’t care at the moment. He started clenching and unclenching his left fist. He needed to hit something. Or better yet, someone.

“I never hated you, Damian. It’s complicated, if you let me explain.” She panicked, tried to come up with an explanation, make him understand. She was a immature and naive child back then. If only he knew how she truly felt about him. He interrupted her

“What game are you playing, Rachel? I’m not a fucking toy or chess piece?” He snarled loudly. They weren’t kids anymore. She couldn’t treat him this way. He wouldn’t allow it. He was breathing heavily. He lost his temper in a public place. Oh no.

“You don’t have to be an asshole. If you didn’t want to come, you should’ve said it.” She countered. She felt broken, shaken, hurt, she held her gaze with his own hard, furious eyes. The pain nearly ripped her heart out. This was obviously a mistake. She gaved a whine of anger and frustration, eyes growing glassy.she couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. She stamped her foot, more tears falling.

“Damn you, Damian Wayne!” With those last words she rose from her sit, and walked away from him. She couldn’t look at him. Wiping her eyes as she retreated, leaving behind Damian and that disaster.

Fuck. He did it this time. He wants to slam his fist down on to the table. Realization of what he had caused. She was right. He didn’t comprehend why he had been an asshole. There had to be other ways to keep her at arms length. It wasn’t fair to her to behave like this. He could be nice to her, considerate and it didn’t have to mean anything. Except it did.

It hurts so bad to want a woman so much. To have her right in front of you, her alluring eyes, full cheeks, delicate features, this glorious creature, and they were so far away. In mind, personality, perspective. In every possible way he could think of. And he was disrespectful, rude, nasty. Because he didn’t understand his own feelings.

It was desire. He wanted Rachel, had wanted her the moment he laid his eyes on her as he’d listened to his newly-revived heart pounding hot blood into his ears, he didn’t know how to deal with the need to have her, mind, body, and soul. It was all new to him. But he wanted her. Dick could kick his ass after all. He deserved it. Except he had to fix this. He had to apologize, plead for another opportunity.

“Rachel! Rachel wait!” Abruptly, his feet started obeying, rushing off to chase after his date. His heart pounding, as he ran across the hall. He could catch up to her still. He had to. He regretted his words before. This date meant everything. Fucking Richard Grayson. If he managed to get Rachel to forgive him. He’d have to genuinely thank him.

Notes: don’t worry it’s the first part of the date 😂😂😂🥺🥺🙈🙈🙈😭😭❤️❤️

[bastardsunlight]

It was no surprise that Raiden knew of the man whom had helped her, considering they had run into one another on chance. Or maybe it hadn't been. Had it been fate? Or had something drawn one of the two into the same place, middle of nowhere USA, in the wilds? Not that it mattered now. Blue slowly nodded her head, her expression so much softer and relaxed now that the truth was in the open, knowing her truest friend was actually here. And real. That had been a brief worry, that everything had been just a figment of insanity now and then until the reality sank in again. "Y-Yes, I did. We... We met by chance, a while after I had escaped. Him and his people helped me" A pause, and a giggle was given then. "They called me a 'Jackalope'. Nightwolf had said that word, yes, go find him. He's the reason I got this far." How else would a singular human, with only the clothes on their back, manage half away around the world? Though there had been the paranoia and anxiousness, that fear, combined with the self loathing and endangering herself constantly, still the tiny human continued. Frail, malnourished, not a fighter at all. But had learned what a spark of determination felt like.

Azure eyes blinked when he had turned those hands, fingers slowly relaxing further while watching in burning curiosity. But the gaze moved back up to make eye contact with Raiden once more. No longer scared of the intimidating eternity in that glow, the look he had. It was more found to be an odd familiar comfort despite the chill it sent down the spine, instinct screaming to be wary of the unknown. Did it ever really matter at all now? If he wanted, Blue would be reduced to just ash, with but a simple wave of the thunder gods will power. And she found the idea wasn't terrible, accepted it really... Just how far gone had she truly been now? Instead here, now, there was an odd tingling sensation. Easing that sting within her hands muscles, the skin slowly regaining it's proper hue, the nasty burns easing away. Getting an awed slow exhale. It was an odd sensation that was welcome, compared to everything else. Perhaps one of the most soothing things the human woman had felt in many years.

But of course those final words he spoke got Blue's expression to soften further. An odd and morbid acceptance in her expression now. The honesty he was giving welcome. "Raiden. It's all right." What reason did the woman have not to trust him? "I had been hurt that you were gone. And never came back... Felt B-Betrayed. Used." Her frown lowered then. Not sure just how open that she should be for the one man that had been her first friend in so many years. Even making her voice stutter with nerves. Blue had always been left behind one way or another, even her own family had left her in that mental institution. So it was just how fate goes. After all those stories the Thunder God had shared, the woman began to know just what had truly been at stake. "But, I understood, after a while. A means too an end, for a greater good, t-to protect an entire world of people. I forgive you, my friend." Blue had already consider her life forfeit long ago, but to have a better meaning to make sure Raiden had been free to protect others? That was a better death than she could have ever asked for.

One hand lifted away from his, once that singular one had been healed, letting him hold the other still. Her fingers gently tipping the hat he wore further back and up, out of the way some more. Acceptance all over her face while she smiled now, wider. Those dark circles under her eyes deeper than ever. "It is okay. I-If there is pain, I can handle that. If death comes then let it, you never had to make uh, amends. If it is by your hand, then I accept it. For you."

Very little happened by chance, in Raiden’s experience. Elevated as he was, he could see many strings of fate intertwining and entangling, but he could not see his own. That it was inexorably linked to that of this girl had become obvious, but only just. If the Matoka were involved, if the one called Nightwolf trusted her enough to impart his help, playful as the Jackalope moniker sounded, she was on a powerful path indeed. If it unsettled the thunderer, he did not show it.

He watched her face change, her countenance shifting as the pain drained away. The mental agony had not abated, not entirely, but her palms, at least, were not singed and that was good. Mortals did not think well when they were in pain. They stumbled and barked and said hurtful things, to themselves and others, and sometimes spoke the ugliest truths their limited existence could conjure. Perhaps it was these he was attempting to avoid by healing her.

The sky continued to roil overhead, roaring its own cacophony of protests, though at what, even the thunder god was not certain. The answers were myriad, nigh-infinite. He had to take things a bit at a time, which, he reflected, brought him closer to the mortals he strove to protect than anything else in his long life, save his brief incarceration at that horrific sanitarium, if such a civilized word could be applied to so barbaric an institution.

The way she held his hand was so tender and meaningful, he had no choice but to listen and to draw his mind away from thoughts of the place where they had both suffered. He had known, of course, that mortals were possessed of great intellect and creativity, much of which they unfortunately squandered on efforts to torture each other in various, insidious ways, but experiencing it had brought about a change in him that he had not foreseen. Could she bring him back from the brink of divine apathy?

“I will not be your death,” he said, resolutely, venturing to lean forward and press their foreheads together. The movement was gentle and deliberate, and he allowed his eyes to close and for the two of them to simply exist, as individuals and as “us”. He had always felt lonely. As a god, such was the nature of existence. But now… there was something else, someone else.

[shuttershocky]

Current WIP for The End Chapter 2 after the cut. I’m nowhere near done but I kinda wanna show that I do at least have something. I don’t abandon my fics I’m just really slow!

Oh in case you’re new to this fic, you can read chapter 1 here!

As the sky itself appeared to fall around, no, toward them, the Master of Chaldea cleared her throat. All turned to her instantly, and even Crimson Moon could not help but tear his gaze away from the heavens, curious to what the so-called most powerful magus in pan-human history had to say for her last words.

“Guys,” she said. “I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I love you. All. Maybe not Columbus, but most of you are pretty cool.”

“Even me?” the dubious man with the black beard asked, his eyes alight with hope.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want an answer to, Teach,” the Master answered.

The heroic spirits laughed, as did Zelretch. Laughed as the black mass in the sky moved ever closer. Laughed as the groan of the wind grew to a world-ending roar. Laughed like they had all the time in the world, like death had not come to their doorstep. Crimson Moon could hardly believe it. This was how the last of humanity chose to spend its final moments. In mirth.

The Master however, did not laugh with them. One hand gripped the Shield Girl’s tightly, and the other held a trinket with a photo inside, showing her sharing a meal with a man in a white coat. Her father perhaps? It didn’t matter. Crimson Moon paid it no further thought. Humans were too sentimental. 

Perhaps sensing his annoyance with the Master, Zelretch gripped his shoulder. The wizard’s green runes traced a hovering platform for them to stand on, granting the two a better view of the battlefield. 

“We can move as we like on this viewing platform,” Zelretch said. “Let me know if there is anyone in particular you wish to watch.”

Just as they rose into the air, the Master’s demeanor changed. She put the trinket away and raised her voice, imbuing it with a sense of authority not unlike what the Flag Girl had done. 

“Alright everyone, we want them to be coming from one general direction if we want even a chance of putting up a fight. Archers, focus on shooting down any that try to approach from above. Keep doing it until they start flying low. Riders, take any reinforcements you need and flank them from the side. Bring the berserkers to break through their ranks, send the assassins after anyone who might look like they’re important. Casters, find out what makes them tick, what powers them, and how they’re even materializing from that portal. If there’s any way to seal that gaping hole in the sky, I know you guys can find it. Everyone else, on me.”

The heroic spirits began running to their positions as the Master drew her sword and raised it. It was unadorned, unremarkable, and ugly. A nameless sword for nameless soldiers, to break in battle with nameless foes. It looked almost shameful to see it raised above the others.

The roar of the incoming horde was thunderous. They were mere seconds away. Despite his best efforts to control his traitorous body, Crimson Moon’s heart began to pound once more. The Master seemed unperturbed, and raised her voice further. 

“I don’t care that this fight is hopeless. I’m not afraid to die. But they mean to devour the Throne, the Root, all the ties that bind us, and I won’t sit here and let them take you all away from me. Now let’s show them what it means to mess with Chaldea.”

Jeanne slammed her flag twice on the ground, sending gold dust flying into the air.

“The End has come in all its wrath!” she yelled. “Now we test its resolve against the strength of our steel! Onward!”

Chaldea moved as one around their master, who raised her sword and ran to meet the apocalypse in all her mediocrity.

The falling skies answered the challenge, lurching forward with the swagger of a beast drunk on gore. 

That was when Crimson Moon saw them.

Enormous. Tiny. Colorful. Monochrome. Faces of beauty. Visages of terror. The Nephilim were everything and nothing. A contradiction come alive, an impossibility whose truth lay unshakable. They were non-existence itself, and yet they were here, in numbers so large they felt infinite. Each one was a weak, pitiful creature, yet the vampire knew they were beyond him.

They had always been there. They had always been watching. They were the howling wind and blackest night, they were the dread that hung in the cold, bitter air and the desolation one felt in the depths of their soul.

It is just a projection from the wizard’s ring. None of this is real. Crimson Moon told himself these things.  And yet, as the sky crashed down upon them, he could not help but freeze at the sight. With all his power, with all his dignity, with all his authority as the spirit of the Moon itself, he could not help but feel afraid. He wanted to run, to scream, to hold his arms over his head and wail and grieve at the sight of the oncoming end. Yet Zelretch moved them closer still to the enemy, turning them around right as they passed the front line. 

There, Crimson Moon saw the first to meet the Nephilim.

It was the little Shield Girl, the fearful, whose fingers trembled and voice stuttered, whose heart found no joy on the battlefield. Her knees did not buckle as the vampire’s did, neither did her head bow in the face of the enemy’s numbers. She stood tall, proud, unyielding, charging ahead of the gods and kings. With one great leap she sailed into the storm, shield raised high above her. 

“LORD CAMELOT!”

A massive wave of blue energy erupted from the ground, forming the image of a castle’s walls. The Nephilim flew straight into it, crushing themselves as the ones who had been lucky enough to fly overhead were torn apart by a hail of projectiles and the ones that scaled the wall were hacked to pieces by the heroic spirits waiting below. Though the Nephilim could not break through,  they did not rethink their assault. Over and over they crashed against Camelot’s walls, an ocean surging against the strength of a single girl.

The Master stood with her, a hand on her arm as they held her shield together. The Shield Girl’s form shook from pain, and Crimson Moon could see her jaw hanging in an unending scream. The Master leaned closer to her, and Crimson Moon could hear them as if it was his ear the words were whispered to.

“Just a little longer Mash. Hold strong for us.”

Cracks began to grow throughout her skin, and her sweat became the color of blood. Her legs shook, her back began to slump,  and blood flowed freely from in between her gritted teeth, yet not one inch of Camelot’s walls gave way to the tide of night’s advances.

“That is not possible. My eyes cannot be fooled. I cannot misjudge. There is little power within this child. So how?”

Crimson Moon watched the Nephilim charge again, scattering upon Lord Camelot’s walls. He could hardly recognize the sound of his own voice cracking under the weight of his awe.

“How does the girl not break before them?”

The faintest of smiles etched itself on the wizard’s face, his somber look now hiding a single spark of pride.

“Her shield does not draw its strength from power. You did not misjudge Miss Kyrielight. She was once an ordinary child, perhaps not normal, but ordinary nonetheless, who had power thrust upon her when demonkind declared war upon humanity, and took away the life she had known. Fear lives within her heart, and it makes itself known in every battle. She has little experience compared to the other heroic spirits, and worries about it every day. She has little control over her temper, which flares easily due to her own insecurities. She is anxious about what she does not know, and attempts to pass herself off to her master as a fountain of knowledge to hide her shortcomings. She does not wield the power to flatten kingdoms, nor the charisma to bring nations to heel. All she has to offer the shield is her will to protect all that she loves.”

Zelretch turned to him, the green hue of the runes dancing in his eyes.

“And hers was forged in fire.”

“Do not insult me, wizard!”

Zelretch blinked slowly. “I’m not insulting you, Ultimate One. ”

“No human girl, least of all a child, could… could-”

“Could match up to you? Surpass you? Tell me again, vampire, did you not bend your head in fear despite being in no danger? Did you see her do the same?”

Crimson Moon could not find it in himself to answer, so Zelretch resumed speaking.

“I wasn’t insulting you. I was merely pointing out the sheer magnitude of the strength to be found in her. To be found in them.”

Crimson Moon couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

“Them?”

“Yes. Them.”

Zelretch moved the platform away from the Master and the Shield Girl, and flew over the other heroic spirits participating in the battle. One was another young girl, with pink horns and a reptilian tail, blasting a sonic wave at the howling Nephilim. One was a man with long, dark hair and warpaint upon his wise face, who wielded a knife and magic with equal skill. Yet another was a man with a bright red spear, who had taken upon himself to leave the protection of the walls and engage with the enemy on his own, tearing them to shreds faster than they could surround him.

“You say the stars have grown dim, Ultimate One. I see different. I see a darkness so great it has taken the heavens and plunged all we have ever known into shadow. It is infinite and unreasoning, and swallows everything in its reach. And yet, in the face of futility, the stars make their stand. They push back with everything they have; their faces aglow with the fire that burns in their souls. They shine. They resist. They hiss and spit and rage with all that they are for the sake of all that can be, and every effort cuts away even just a little of the darkness. It is there, through those little cracks they make, through the smallest of gaps in the black-”

“-They see they are not alone,” whispered the vampire.

[terulakimban]

Hi! So I saw your response on ask jumblr saying you were agnostic and everything and I found them super super interesting and was wondering if you could explain a bit more of how it’s been for you in a Jewish setting? Thank you 🌸💗🌸

Hi! So, for context, framework on what exactly I do believe (and what I don’t), because by some definitions, I’m an atheist, by others, I’m theistic, and as far as I’m concerned, I’m agnostic.  I believe that there are rules and patterns inherent to reality; that there is order even within chaos; that human ignorance of those rules and patterns does not change their existence. I believe that to attempt to discern these patterns is, for lack of a better word, holy, that learning more about what the universe is and has and does and what we can make it do is inherently an approach to the divine. I believe that there is beauty in the world and that that beauty is subjective. When I say the blessings for a rainbow or a thunderstorm or for seeing the ocean, I say them in awe of what an amazing world we live in; our world is such a vast and strange and unfathomable place and it is only a tiny speck of nothing in the infinity of the universe and that I am so lucky to live in a time where people are beginning to head towards taking a leap to the next speck of dust. I believe that precision of mathematical patterns is beautiful, even when I don’t know the math causing the pattern. I believe that the chaos where there is an apparent lack of a pattern is beautiful because it reminds us of how much we’ve learned and how there is infinitely more still to learn. I believe that there are universal -or near-universal truths -but I also believe that those truths are more along the lines of “2+2=4″ than “God, created, in the beginning...” I do not believe in a personified creator who caused all of that. I do not believe in the Torah as divinely written or as a literal verbatim truth. I don’t know if I believe the Torah was divinely inspired or not or even what such inspiration -or an absence of it- would necessarily entail. I don’t believe there is a one true way. I don’t believe that justice or goodness or fairness are concepts that exist outside of the minds capable of conceptualizing them, but I do believe that they are important concepts -as is the variation people will necessarily have when trying to articulate exactly what those concepts are to them. I don’t believe in any form of afterlife. I also don’t disbelieve in any form of afterlife. I have one finite existence in which to live; I will focus whatever time I have on the practical effects I can have on the world around me and infinity, be it reward or punishment or neutrality or nothing at all, can take care of itself; I’ll have infinity to be concerned -or not -with that.  In my experience, this isn’t particularly unusual in Jewish spaces. It does help that I have no issues addressing a communal conceptualization of what an infinite creator might entail, although admittedly, when praying communally, my approach tends to be either a focus on feeling what it is to be welcome and feel at home among people that has fuck-all to do with God in any way or along the lines of “start explaining unfairness and broken promises now”.  As for practice... my mother grew up on the liberal end of the Orthodox movement and I grew up on the conservative end of the Conservative movement. Dad grew up on the liberal end of the Conservative side, but that was a fairly recent shift in his family; his parents grew up in traditional homes and have a frame of reference for it. And when it comes to practice, I tend to feel most comfortable in something relatively familiar, although I tend to go for more traditional practice as an individual and more liberal practice in a community. I like studying Talmud and the Tosafot. There is something incredibly comforting about seeing a verse and saying “hey, what the fuck is up with that” and then seeing that my people -my family -have been arguing that exact same question for thousands of years. I like keeping kosher. I’ve got OCD, and it serves as a wonderful externalization of the kind of rules I otherwise make for myself -except these rules come with built-in endpoints so I can’t get stuck in painful loops and there are people outside my brain who understand them. I’m not shomer shabbat at this point in my life for a number of reasons mostly outside my control, but I would like to go back to having a day dedicated to rest and mindfulness and not laboring, although my ideal level of shabbat observance is decidedly not “officially shomer”. I like looking at my parents’ ketubah -at the contract they signed before witnesses of the obligations to one another that they were choosing to take on and the consequences if they didn’t -and dreaming about someday having my own; about someday loving someone enough and having someone who loves me enough to say “yes, these are our oaths”. I like that I can walk into any synagogue anywhere in the world and have family and community and a frame of reference for what’s going on. I like that I was raised in between communities in such a way that I know the rules and how to pick up on them for communities I don’t know. I like singing together with people and that sense of the past and present connecting when the words are ancient and the tune is not. I love learning to leyn and comparative linguistics and looking at the words. I love working with kids and being able to say “this is your heritage, these words belong to you, but it’s your choice what you do with them, my job is just to make sure you know what the words mean.” I love (pre-pandemic, of course) the way my parents’ synagogue does a communal meal every week at the close of Shabbat -and then does a communal Talmud study and commentary -and I love being encouraged to raise my voice and ask questions and make comments and offer ideas. I love Havadalah and Kabbalat Shabbat and how we mark holidays and transitions in fire and how we use fire and stone to memorialize our dead. I love being able to say “here is my tradition, can you show me yours” to friends who aren’t Jewish and sharing food and songs and opening our homes to one another And there’s stuff I don’t like. I don’t like the way liberal communities tend to treat traditional practice as the exclusive provenance of Orthodoxy. I don’t like when I’m not counted in a minyan. I don’t like being seated across a mechitzah. I don’t like the way that, for all our communities are family, there’s often an element of hostility towards the other denominations. I’m not a fan of taharat mishpacha in its entirety -or tzniut, for that matter. I don’t like Ashkenormativity and the way we’re mostly letting what’s left of our older community languages die in favor of Hebrew. I don’t like when people insist that Halacha is inherently divine -and I don’t like when people insist that it should all be discarded.  But all of that, all those things I dislike? None of those -or at least, none of the parts I specifically dislike about them -are, by my understanding, inherent to Judaism. Those are things inherent to people -and to communities. People like the dichotomy of “anyone more [thing] than me is a fanatic and anyone less [thing] than me doesn’t actually care about it”. Whenever there’s a community and an opportunity for some people to use it to reinforce a social dynamic that they see as favoring them, there will always be people who do so. There will always be people disagreeing on what they find empowering vs oppressive. There will always be a struggle between tradition for tradition’s sake and progress for progress’s sake.  I have clarified that I’m agnostic to my parents. Dad’s response was “yeah, I guess a lot of people in your generation don’t really need God, do you...” (tone was sincere and contemplative; he’s genuinely interested in the millennial zeitgeist, and it’s led to multiple conversations about generational theology). Mom’s response was “🤷‍♀️ That’s between you and God, now did you want a roast for shabbos or not because I need to take it out to defrost” (she is not particularly interested in discussions of theology or philosophy with me, but we do talk about practice a lot). 

[risalei-nur]

TAFSIR: Risale-i Nur: The Words Collection:The Thirty Third Word .Part 13

Thus the universe, through the beauty on its face, the love in its heart, the attraction in its bosom, the illumination and vision in its eyes, and the beauty and decoration it has as a whole, opens a pleasant, clear window. To the intellects and hearts that are alert and awake, it displays an All-Beautiful One of Majesty, a Never-Ending Beloved One, an Eternal All-Worshipped One—all of Whose Names are Beautiful.

 So, O heedless one struggling in the darkness of materialism and illu-sions, in suffocating doubts and conjectures, come to your senses! Ascend in a way befitting humanity and look through these openings. See the grace and beauty of Oneness, obtain perfect belief, and be a true human being.

 TWENTY-SEVENTH WINDOW

 God is the Creator of all things, and He is the Guardian (with power of disposition) over all things. (39:62)

 Looking at visible things as causes and effects in the universe, we see that the greatest cause—by itself—cannot cause even the most insignifi-cant thing to exist. Thus causes are only a veil, for there must be one who brings effects (things) into existence. Out of innumerable creatures, consid-er the human faculty of memory, located in a mustard-seed-sized place in a person’s head. Despite its tiny size, it is so comprehensive that it contains a book, or rather a library, in which his or her entire life-history is recorded.

 What cause can you present as the origin of that miracle of Divine Power? The brain’s entangled nerves? The cell’s simple, unconscious atoms or particles? The winds of chance? In reality, that miracle of art can only be the work of such a One, an All-Wise Maker that, in order to remind us in the Hereafter’s Supreme Place of Gathering of what we did in this world, He copies our deeds’ register and gives it to our intellect as memory.

 Compare all eggs, seeds, and fruit pits to our memory, and then compare all other effects to these tiny miracles of Power. Whatever effect or thing you look at, you will see that it contains such a wonderful artistry that if not only its own cause but all causes were gathered together, they would display their impotence in front of it. For example, supposing the sun, thought by some to be a huge cause or agent, were conscious and had willpower, if you asked it to make a fly’s body, it obviously would answer: “Thanks to my Creator’s grace, my shop contains a great deal of light and heat and several colors. However, a fly’s body contains eyes, ears, life, and other things that are not in my shop or within my capacity.”

A thing’s amazing art and decoration refute causes (as accounting for its existence) and point to the Necessarily Existent Being, the Producer of all causes—according to the meaning of: To Him alone is the whole of the affair referred (11:123)—and acknowledge Him as the true Originator of all things and events. Similarly, the results, purposes, and benefits connected to things show that they are products (of the Acts) of an All-Munificent Lord, an All-Compassionate, All-Wise One acting behind the veil of causes.

 Since unconscious causes cannot pursue a purpose, how can we explain the fact that every creature comes into existence for many definite purposes and benefits, and according to many instances of wisdom? The only answer is that an All-Wise and All-Munificent Lord brings them into existence, and makes those benefits the reason for their existence.

 Consider the coming of rain. Rain’s apparent causes have no considera-tion or concern for animate beings. Therefore it is sent to help animate beings through the Wisdom of an All-Compassionate Creator Who creates and then provides for them. Rain is called “mercy,” for it bears many results of mercy and brings many benefits. It is as if mercy is embodied in raindrops and falls in drops.

 The show and embellishment in all adorned plants and animals, which smile at all creatures, also point to an All-Majestic Being’s necessary Existence and Unity and to the One Who, behind the veil of the Unseen, wills to make Himself known and loved through that adornment and embel-lishment. All of this points to the qualities of making known and loved, which, in turn, testify to the necessary Existence and Unity of One All-Known, All-Loving, and All-Powerful Maker.

 In short, causes are infinitely ordinary and impotent when compared to effects (things), which are full of art and valuable. So how can they have any real part in creation? Also, the benefits of things and the purposes pursued through and for them deny causes any real role in creation, for they attribute their existence to an All-Wise Maker. Moreover, their decorations and the skills apparent in their coming into existence point to an All-Wise Maker Who wills to make His Power known to conscious beings, Who wills to be loved.

O helpless one who deifies causes! How do you explain these impor-tant realities? Why do you deceive yourself? If you are a rational being, tear the veil of causes apart and, proclaiming: “He is One, without partner,” be saved from innumerable illusions.

 TWENTY-EIGHTH WINDOW

 Among His signs are the creation of the heavens and the earth and the variety of your tongues and colors. Surely in this are signs for those who know. (30:22)

 We see an all-inclusive wisdom and ordering in the universe, from a body’s cells to the entire creation. When looking at a body’s cells, we see a significant organization and arrangement by the command and law of the One Who sees and governs all bodily functions and needs. Just as some nour-ishment is stored up in the body in the form of fat to use in case of need, so there is the same kind of storage facility in the cells. We also see a wise organ-ization, cultivation, and nursery in plants; a generous subsistence and breed-ing in animals; and a majestic management and illumination in the universe’s pillar-like parts, each of which serves important purposes. We see the entire universe to have been perfectly planned and ordered as a country or a city or a palace for certain sublime instances of wisdom and exalted purposes.

As explained and argued in the First Station of The Twenty-second Word, these facts make it impossible to associate any partners with God. From the tiniest particles to the largest stars, everything is intertwined and interre-lated in such a way that one who does not subjugate and manage stars cannot dominate a particle. In order to dominate a single particle, one must be able to subdue and manage all of the stars. Also, as explained and argued in the Second Station of The Twenty-second Word, one who cannot create the heavens and put them in an exact order cannot give anyone a unique face. One unable to be a lord over all the heavens cannot inscribe the heavenly mark on the face of an individual which distinguishes him or her from others.

 All of this forms a window as large as the universe so that, if we look through it, both the person’s and the mind’s eye see clearly that the mean-ings of: God is the Creator of all things and He is a Guardian (with power of dis-position) over all things. His are the keys of the heavens and the earth... (39:62-

 are inscribed on the pages of the universe in capital letters. Those who do not see them have no eyes or heart, or only appear to be human.

[pamphletstoinspire]

Understanding the Precious Blood of Our Lord

To understand the devotion to the Most Precious Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ, we should look carefully at the meaning of blood and blood that is shed. By doing this, we can then consider the meaning of the shedding of the Precious Blood of Christ.

We all know that blood is biologically part of our body. However, blood is also intimately associated with the vital element of the individual as a person. That is why we give to the Blood of Christ all the adoration due to Christ Himself.

Our blood is naturally meant to be inside the body. Hence, every time we bleed, it is something of an unnatural or catastrophic nature. Many illnesses, for example, are perceived by bleeding caused by some malfunction inside the body. Bleeding is almost a sign of alarm, which because of its violence, calls attention to the fact that something is terribly wrong with the person.

Besides illnesses, bleeding also calls to mind fighting and crime. For example, the idea of bloodshed instantly calls to mind the blood of Abel, shed by Cain and which, according to Scripture, rose to God clamoring for vengeance. When blood is shed by crime, we sense a profound violence applied to the body that conveys the idea of something unjust, brutal and iniquitous which profoundly disturbs an existing order and clamors to God for the reestablishment of order.

When we consider the infinitely Precious Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ, many things come to mind. We think of that blood begotten in the womb of Our Lady. We think of that Blood that was shed, leaving His Body from whence it should never have left. That Blood, like everything else in the Body of Christ, is in hypostatic union with Him and when it leaves His sacred Body, it is as if symbolizing all the dignity of that Body.

We might compare this departure to the juice that comes from the grape to make up wine. That juice represents the essence of the grape, all the best the grape has to give. So also Our Lord’s Blood represents the best of blood – the blood of David, the blood of Mary, the Blood of the God-Man.

Through a series of unspeakable, violent deicidal actions, that Blood was shed in the scourging, the crowning with thorns, the cross, and torments of all kinds. That Blood was shed by the great anguish of soul when Our Lord, in His agony, began to suffer and sweat blood all over His Body.

That Blood shed and falling on the ground clamorously attests to the insult made to the God-Man. It is a manifestation of how far human wickedness can go. It is a manifestation of the mystery of iniquity. We see in that Blood how much God tolerates. We are reminded how fallen human nature in this valley of tears (above all when guided by sin and the devil) is capable of going to the extremes of evil shrinking from nothing.

These considerations should lead us to always be extremely suspicious towards evil. We should follow Our Lord’s precept: “Watch and pray.” Our suspicions are based on the fact that evil is capable of the worst infamies. One can expect everything from it. Thus, we should do great violence to ourselves to fight against it. We should avoid all drowsiness, foolish optimism or procrastination in face of evil. Indeed, failing to combat evil is a true crime since we see that if evil was capable of such horrible acts against Our Lord, it is capable of everything. Evil calls unto other evils and can go to the very depths of all evil.

Looking at this bloodshed, we should note that the mercy of God wanted all that Blood to be shed with unheard-of abundance. All the blood in the Body of Our Lord Jesus Christ was shed, as if to show that He gave us everything, without holding back even one drop, because of His immense desire to save us. One drop of His blood would have sufficed, yet He shed all His blood to the point that the last drops were mixed with water that left His Side when Longinus pierced His Heart with the lance. He wanted to hold nothing back in order to redeem us. This superabundance of blood, suffering and offering up of self recalls Our Lord’s words: “Greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Considering the devotion to the Most Precious Blood, we might say: “Greater love than this no man hath, than He who gave His life for us.”

However, He did even more than just giving His life. He wished to suffer death from the beatings, anguish and the shedding of every drop of blood in His sacred Body. In this sense, every drop of blood is like a tiny death, for it is a drop of life that goes away. He wanted to go through all these “deaths” to show how infinite was His friendship for us.

Such considerations lead us to confide in His mercy. If He so wanted to save us, we should understand that we might cover ourselves in His Blood and present ourselves to the Eternal Father.

Begging forgiveness thus covered in His Blood, we should confide that we can obtain it. On the other hand, we must consider how horrible is the eternal destiny of the damned. If Our Lord suffered all these torments to spare us from eternal doom, then this damnation is a very serious thing. So let us meditate on the depths of Hell by considering a drop of the Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ.

This inevitably leads us to other considerations. First, we must see how the Blood of Christ calls to mind the tears of Mary, shed along with the Blood of Christ. Our Lord did not want Our Lady to shed any drop of her own blood. He allowed all types of torments against Himself but forbade the powers of evil from raising even a finger against His Immaculate Mother.

Thus, she suffered no physical torments. None of her blood was shed on behalf of humanity, nor would it have had the redeeming force of the infinitely precious Blood of Christ. The entire Redemption would come specifically from the Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ.

However, Our Lady did shed a kind of blood: Her tears. It would serve as only a kind of complement to Our Lord’s Blood. We can say that tears are the blood of the soul. She suffered all the pain of His death and shed tears. That is why it is impossible to think about the Blood of Christ without at the same time considering the tears of Mary that were joined to that Blood and constituted the first tribute of Christendom to complete the part of His Passion that God wanted to be completed – with the suffering of the faithful – so that souls would be saved in great numbers.

Finally, we should think about the Holy Eucharist. The Blood of Christ was shed in streets, squares, Pilate’s palace and on top of Mount Calvary. That Blood of Christ is found entirely in the Holy Eucharist. How many times we have received this Blood of Christ in us.

Thus, as we receive the Body and Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ, we should remember this. We are receiving this Precious Blood, shed for us. Inside us, it is like the blood of Abel, not to clamor for punishment against us, but to clamor for mercy for us. So let us receive the Eucharist with great confidence and joy, as we receive the Blood of Christ that rises to Heaven clamoring for mercy on our behalf.

From: www.pamphletstoinspire.com

[invertedgoogle]

Noragami Analysis: Ebisu and Iwami; Guideposts and Familial Relationships

This post is a continuation/elaboration of my last one on Ebisu’s theme of crying, but instead of focusing on a central motif, this one branches out into more related elements in the plot. Please bear with me if some things are repeated!

We know Ebisu’s (more widely believed) origin story of him being thrown away by his parents Izanagi and Izanami because he was born without bones/arms and legs. Yet, self-destructive tendencies aside, Ebisu is a comparatively well-adjusted god in Noragami. His maturity, ability to function well as a god and overall benevolence make him an ideal role model for Yato on his journey to become a god of fortune. @echodrops has an entire essay written on how Ebisu is such a good father figure to Yato- please go check it out (along with the other essays) it’s incredible and thoroughly researched.

So how does Ebisu, himself abandoned by his birth parents, manage to become who he is in the present day?

(More under cut)

We’ve been shown instances of gods taking fatherly/motherly roles towards their shinki (Yato, Bishamon, Arahabaki) and plenty of domestic spousal relationships between gods and shinki (Kazuma and Bishamon, Kofuku and Daikoku). But we don’t usually come across the parent-child dynamic between shinki and gods (note the order), which we’ve only seen with the gods who reincarnate and are raised by shinki: Takemikazuchi and Ebisu.

It’s shown that Ebisu values (or in the very least, shows understanding of) familial kinship.

Whether he’s saying this to Izanami as his supposed ‘biological’ mother or to the Olive Ken lady he looks up to as a mother (and who Izanami takes the form of to him), it’s clear that he does long for the mother he never had growing up.

And get this: besides fishing and commerce, Ebisu is also a patron deity of expectant mothers.

He gets prayers from people who want children (unlike his own mother), and sees how happy humans can be with families. He’d want to know how it might have been if his parents hadn’t thrown him away (still, I doubt that things would have been as rosy as he may imagine- just ask Kagutsuchi).

While the previous Ebisu’s mother figure had been a human woman (who will eventually age and die), he’s had a consistent father figure throughout his incarnations: Iwami.

As turbulent Ebisu’s existence is with his high reincarnation rate, Iwami is a dependable constant for Ebisu who will never change. And some part of this dependability is what Ebisu would want from a guardian: the kind his own parents had never shown him. While Izanagi and Izanami had abandoned him, Ebisu can trust Iwami to be there to guide his next incarnations even if he dies. (inserting a bit of headcanoning here, but adult Ebisu’s bluntness really looks like he takes after Iwami)

But before I go into anything specific about the Ebisu and Iwami dynamic, let’s run through the fundamentals of the Noragami world: what gods’ natures are and what shinki/guideposts are for.

In Noragami, gods are born from human wishes: no matter how big or small. The nature of those gods then depends on that wish, and it is sculpted specifically to enable them to fulfil the wish. However, gods have no innate concept of right and wrong and are therefore “justified” in doing anything their nature dictates them to do.

This would have been disastrous for the mortal world if it were not for shinki keeping the god they serve in check. Because shinki were once human, they can guide their gods to act in ways more acceptable to humans. We can call this the “nurture” to the god’s “nature”.

A guidepost is given an additional task besides their usual duties as shinki, and it’s Ebisu himself who introduces to us to guideposts.

A guidepost's responsibility is to show their gods the way and protect their name. Well, what exactly is the way? Isn’t it a bit vague? But that’s the whole point. There are infinite ways a god can be true to their nature. If we look at Yato for instance, his recurrent urge (and perhaps nature) to “cut things up” has manifested itself in killing people for centuries under Father’s instructions. 

It’s Yukine who points out that he can use this to “slice and rip chaos itself into shreds” after he consults him. He isn’t changing who Yato's nature to cut things: all he’s doing is interpreting it for him to better suit what he wants.

There are as many ways to be a guidepost as there are ways to be a god, because each guidepost interprets ‘protecting their god’s name’ differently. That’s how we go from Kazuma, who will do anything to protect Bishamon, to Kiun, who would kill Takemikazuchi to save his master’s good name. That’s why it’s important for a god to have a guidepost after their own heart: so they can be led the way they want to go (and also why having someone else choosing a god’s guidepost for them has such a serious impact).

When it comes to bringing up a god, Iwami’s certainly had much more expertise over the average guidepost/shinki. Be it trial and error over millennia or just old-age wisdom on Iwami’s part, Ebisu receives a pretty comprehensive education on being a god from Iwami.

Because we’ve seen Ebisu before and after reincarnation, we can compare the effects of his inborn “nature” and Iwami’s “nurture” on him. An example would be this (this is still a bit rickety logic-wise, but I thought it might be worth some discussion): one of adult Ebisu’s defining characteristics is his strong will that drives him to extreme lengths to make humans happy, even if it means sacrificing himself.

But from what we see from our newest Ebisu, patience... doesn’t look as “in his nature” as he says.

And if you squint, there's something interesting about Iwami’s lectures to restless, impatient teenagers:

Ebisu doesn’t seem to apply the virtue to himself (as an adult, he never does learn to tie his shoes or take care of himself, with Kunimi around) but we see this strong will reflected in his efforts to tame ayakashi. A lot of determination goes into putting himself through intense pain and eventual death just for a shot at reducing human suffering. Iwami teaches Ebisu to persevere so he won’t give up on what he wants to accomplish.

And think about a guidepost’s responsibility to nurture a god’s potential, teach them to know right and wrong, give them advice they need, especially the way it’s done for a god who is a child/young man for half the time... these duties are eerily similar to those of a parent's. 

Everything Iwami does is to supplement Ebisu’s nature: equipping him with all he needs to achieve his goals. However, for how instrumental he is to Ebisu’s upbringing, a crucial duty Iwami fails to do for Ebisu is being a proper guidepost: actually giving him his purpose as a god. 

Iwami’s line of thought as a guidepost is very passive: in fact, it’s so passive that the important instructions he gives to Ebisu are never from himself. 

These panels sum up Iwami’s philosophy. Seeing that Iwami had been a very old man for his time when he died, he’d want someone as young and (technically) full of life as Ebisu to live his life being free to do what he wants, without interference from someone who has already lived theirs. So fearing that his words might force Ebisu down a path he wouldn’t have taken otherwise, he passes down instructions to Ebisu only if they are “as per his previous incarnation’s wishes”, which in a way ‘preserves’ Ebisu’s wish across reincarnations. He thinks of influencing Ebisu’s decisions as a sin, and only dares to support him through complementary means: behaving more as his servant than an advisor.

Despite having to keep a healthy distance to avoid appropriating a god, a guidepost’s role is still, at its core, active. In Yato’s aforementioned dilemma, it’s Yukine who thinks up of a different path when Yato is at a loss and helps him figure it out together.

It’s easier to think of guideposts as actual tour guides. While a guide who drags you astray from your intended destination isn’t helpful, neither is a guide who assumes that you’re the one who knows better. Nobody needs a guide if they already know how to get where they want to go.

Iwami’s reservedness extends to the point where he doesn’t share about himself with Ebisu even when directly prompted to:

Ebisu wants to know about who he was, what he did, and how others saw him, but he doesn’t want the answers delivered through books and journals.

He wants to hear it from others so he, in turn, can get to know them better through conversation with them.

Ebisu just wants Iwami to talk to him.

For all of his devotion to his master, why does Iwami remove himself from Ebisu like this?

His explanation to Ebisu is that he doesn’t want to change his fate, but can we suspect more to that alibi? There’s a scene in the earlier chapters where High Sentinel Oushi guilt trips Ebisu’s shinki into betraying him:

The context here refers to the physical pain of Ebisu feels when his shinki are killed, but honestly, for the most time in Ebisu’s household, who's really the one going through “the pain of a child passing on before him”?

To Iwami, every Ebisu is the little boy he’s raised from childhood (how does that tiny Chibisu up there not remind you of “dad! dad! look!”). Iwami’s there to meet Ebisu when he’s newly reincarnated; he watches him grow, then watches him die. And once Ebisu reincarnates, he can’t even remember his name. 

It’s painful enough for a child to have a parent forget who they are or to have their parent pass away, but the exact opposite happens in Ebisu’s house. It’s Iwami who has his “child” forget him, who has his “child” die before he does.

And after Iwami outlives so many Ebisus, he has to raise him again and relive the nightmare. Ebisu has the ‘luxury’ (if you can call it that) of forgetting Iwami; Iwami doesn’t. The worst part is that Iwami exists to remember everything about the past Ebisu for the next one.

If Iwami keeps building close relationships with every Ebisu he serves, it’s only going to make his inevitable deaths and reincarnations more painful to bear. For the sake of carrying Ebisu’s wishes across incarnations, Iwami has to detach himself from his master so he won’t fall apart from the emotional toll that comes with it.

Iwami probably doesn’t even have the heart to directly tell Ebisu about his past incarnations and their wish to tame ayakashi. Instead, he’s always told Ebisu to read his predecessors’ journals, which inevitably include information on the subject. And precisely because Ebisu isn’t shown an alternative way to be the god Ebisu (and especially since his journals are all the pointers he has about who he supposedly was as an adult), he ends up thinking that taming ayakashi and carrying out his previous self’s wishes is the only way to be Ebisu. After that, Iwami can rationalise that it had been Ebisu himself who made the choice and that he is now obligated to help Ebisu to achieve it.

While Iwami has his own reasons for not sharing too much with Ebisu, Ebisu reads this silence as coldness towards him, that he’s not important enough to Iwami to be allowed to know him better. The flashback of Ebisu with the books shows Iwami facing Ebisu, but in Ebisu’s mind, it’s as good as though Iwami had turned away from him there and then: remaining both physically and emotionally removed. Iwami is abandoning Ebisu to himself.

No matter the incarnation, Ebisu still bonds much quicker with Iwami than other shinki, even Kunimi, his current guidepost. It’s clear who Ebisu’s favourite is.

Ebisu constantly looks to Iwami for guidance, but Iwami keeps silent, thinking it would be best if Ebisu lives his own life without input from him. The flaw in this approach is that its result hurts both Ebisu, who doesn’t want to die, and Iwami, who doesn’t want Ebisu to die either.

This vicious circle keeps them trapped in lives they are unhappy in. Unless Ebisu is shown a different path by Iwami, he can’t change from the one his predecessors took. And unless Ebisu changes what he wants to do, Iwami can’t show him anything else but what his predecessors have always done. 

The circle has long-term effects too: with each passing incarnation, Ebisu feels even more pressured to follow in his predecessor’s footsteps, and Iwami has to keep withdrawing himself from Ebisu, all while receiving the reinforced impression that Ebisu does wants to continue this self-destructive work.

By telling Ebisu to live and act on his own wish, Yato has already dealt a significant blow to the circle. But reforming only Ebisu’s mentality isn’t enough to permanently get rid of it; Iwami’s mindset must also change.

Up till now, Iwami’s been “protecting Ebisu’s name” by supporting whatever Ebisu decides to do, letting him finish what he had started in his previous lives. But after Kazuma’s confrontation, Iwami finally acts on a desire to protect the current Ebisu, not just Ebisu's “wishes” anymore. 

Father’s defeat is as important to Ebisu as it is to every other character.  Notice that when Kazuma tries to get Iwami to give him something helpful to stop Father, he tells Iwami “the root cause is clear", and that he could put an end to Ebisu’s fate of living short lives by helping destroy Father.

From the flashbacks, Ebisu has been tailing Father's work ever since he retrieved the first Koto no Ha (the flashback where baby Ebisu discovers a mask is from the Heian era, which approximately when Father starts using masks). Father has been using his masks to wreak havoc in the mortal world, but because Ebisu is right behind him learning how to tame them (even if it’s from scratch), Father has a form of check and balance, no matter how crude or underdeveloped it may be. Though Ebisu himself doesn’t yield much success in actually taming ayakashi, his accumulated knowledge about it alone can help other characters take Father down.

There are many reasons why Ebisu follows his predecessors’ wishes that stem from inertia, but Father has been the active reason why Ebisu cannot afford to stop taming ayakashi. 

What’s especially tragic about this set of panels is that Iwami’s wish for the young Ebisu had always been for him “to be whatever his heart desires”. Instead, in his efforts to preserve Ebisu’s ‘wish’ across incarnations, he’s ended up achieving the exact opposite.

And that’s why Iwami agrees to help Kazuma, even if it means breaking an old promise to Ebisu. Change starting to happen: from someone who had been afraid of deviating from the previous Ebisu’s wishes, Iwami now hopes to save the current Ebisu from having to die continuously by betraying his predecessor.

Once the sorcerer is stopped, Ebisu’s fate won’t be limited to taming ayakashi, and he'll be able to be a god of fortune without having to die for it. Iwami will finally be allowed to raise a single Ebisu, one who will no longer die young and forget him. And Ebisu could really use a father who can show that he cares for him.

(sorry this is so long I got pretty carried away with this lmao)

[vardasvapors]

DRUNK LIVEBLOG OF THE AKALLABETH BC I PROMISED @rose-of-the-bright-sea​

Uh unfortunately i’m not too drunk since once again my job was to bounce everyone once the party ended but uhhh it is early morning and i’m still not asleep and i did just spend 5 hours dancing and doing shots so...

ANYWAY: first scene of the Akallabeth, remember how the edain were the only Men who fought against morgoth in the war of wrath etc, and when morgoth was defeated the Evil Men who fought for him ran away and conquered all the Stupid Men who were still living in the middle earth area and these men’s lives sucked and were constantly attacked by orcs and monsters and they were dumb and wild and stuff. this explanation is like 20 kinds of LMAO NARRATIVES but also not like, in a lying way, just in a framing way.

otoh the edain got given a giant island in the middle of the ocean as a reward for fighting against morgoth and stuff, osse and aule and yavanna did it. (valar: ‘have an island way out in the sea’ elros: ‘SOUNDS LEGIT’). meanwhile the elves of ME are long-sufferingly granted permission to come to tol eressea because their lives kinda suck. the difference in the tone of the edain’s gift and the elves’ gift is totally not noticed by the narrator but the fact that avallone was build on the eastern edge of tol eressea where it could be seen from numenor is. lol.

there’s this super gorgeous entrancing description of how earendil burned super bright so that he shone night and day and the edain followed him over the calm enchanted sea until they found the island of numenor -- andor the land of gift, elenna that is starwards. however we all know all this incredible rich storytelling stuff isn’t important compared to the tiny scrap of smugness that can be wrung out of making elros hate earendil and/or elves, bc everyone knows that no character’s narrative matters except the feanorians’.

elves of ME also brought all the edain to numenor and elves of tol eressea gave the edain a ton of tools and gifts and stuff to help build their new nation, but you know it’s fun to headcanon elros as a bitter chest-puffing supercilious self-satisfied little prick who finds these elves embarrassing and blinkered and their existence pitiful and tut-tuttingly Wrong. bc that makes sense and is woke for some reason.

the numenoreans became taller than all the sons of middle earth, not all the men of middle earth, so numenoreans are taller than elves. also they didn’t have a lot of kids, bc i guess population explosions on islands with almost no death outside of like 300 years of old age is a Bad Time.

also “and the light of their eyes was like the bright stars” hahahahahahahahaha lmao! kill me! lies down. does not get up.

WHITE TREE FRACTALS

the numenoreans are super cool and get to talk and visit with both elves of tol eressea and elves of middle earth, which seems to lead to the completely inescapable conclusion that numenor is a place where the peoples of all lands can pass messages to one another but this is never mentioned. the numenoreans could totally also have prob defeated the evil human kings of middle earth if they tried but they were totes peaceful -- at an undefined point in time. nice vague timeline blurring bruh.

instead they like, instructed the dumb middle earth men on how to grow grain and grind flour and make stuff out of wood bc uh i guess the middle earth men are too dumb to figure it out, for “the ordering of their life, such as it might be in the lands of swift death and little bliss” hahahahahaha this is the most condescending line in the entire silm it’s great.

then the numenoreans start getting dissatisfied with how they still gotta die and stuff. it’s vaguely described as being something to do with how even their long lives are still not as long as elves’ loves, but every time i read this it reminds me how pissed about mortality i’d be if my great-great-great-uncle who was totally allowed to choose to become immortal kept popping in to talk about how he got to see the cool millennia of my country’s history first hand and debate with my revered ancestral founding king. so.

however the numenoreans totally brush over these sorts of super compelling and sympathetic and valid points and instead just whine about how they’re A Bigshot Kewl Superior Race and HDU Say We Can’t Control Everything If We Wanna, 36 Presents? But Last Century I Got 37! because they’re fucking useless dumbasses.

The valar reply that Aman Will Not Make You Immortal, Yo, and also that elves being immortal and men being mortal aren’t rewards or punishments, which are reasonable points. they then go on to go ‘TBH shouldn’t WE be the ones envying YOU bc you get to peace out of this clusterfuck world, huh, huh whaddaya think about that. also btw the whole mortality thing is some Secret Plan To Fight Inflation eru came up with, and none of us will know it until you and a bajillion generations of your descendants are all dead, lol!!!!’ THANKS VALAR. THAT’S REALLY HELPFUL. GREAT JOB OF ACTUALLY ADDRESSING ANYTHING THE NUMENOREANS ARE BOTHERED ABOUT. KUDOS. i love dumb gods.

the numenoreans are super dissatisfied but instead of anything constructive the king decides to hold his breath and throw a tantrum stay king until he’s totally senile and his son is old, bc of spite, then numenor gets divided into the king’s men and the faithful. the faithful are also bleh about death but assume that the valar have some kind of good reason for what they said, because um, reasons, i guess. no one says if the reasons are more mindless dogma or more a grounding and strengthening faith, but since numenoreans sound like RL humans to a tee it’s probably both. the king’s men aren’t skeptics tho -- they just conquer and enslave and colonize and steal from middle earth, bc ‘the west was denied to them.’ some fans find this to be a ‘yes, but--’ where it’s not the best thing to do but sympathetic and better than those un-nietzschean faithful. i’m gonna assume every single person who finds this nod-worthy is as White as sour cream.

later on Ar-Gimilzor bans the Faithful’s language, sends secret police or smth to find out everyone who is Faithful and forcibly remove them from their homes, relocate them to Romenna, and corral and watch them, call them and the elves of tol eressea spies, chase them out of numenor, and force the faithful leader’s sister to marry the king. some fans still somehow think this was a morally grey and understandable thing to do because secular-culturally-christian libs are vile and have never parsed a history book in their lives.

Tar-Palantir becomes king after being secretly taught Faithful stuff by his secretly faithful mom, but nothing he does to fix things helps and he eventually dies young from depression. His daughter Tar-Miriel becomes queen but her cousin Ar-Pharazon forces her to marry him and give him the kingship instead. exactly how this happened remains unexplained! Boo! I want more details. Anyway Pharazon is a Fragile Masculinity poster boy and when sauron starts causing trouble he decides he’s just gotta go capture him and bring him to numenor to show off and stroke his ego, bc he is an Heir Of Eärendil and Respect Meehhh!! God this guy sounds SO UNPLEASANTLY FAMILIAR DOESN’T HE EH. (parenthetically i am delighted beyond words at how absolutely bang-on it is that the King’s Men, both here and earlier with the convo with the Valar, totally Do Not Mention the fact that they’re heirs of Elros, not just Earendil, bc that would be super inconvenient to their vision of themselves and their mortality grievance!! lol!!! i love it!!!! god!!!!!!!! *fingers and thumb in a circle emoji*).

anyway sauron is super smart and an awesomesauce genre-savvy villain and way too good for pharazon and he flatters him and manipulates him into making him his councilor and convinces him that the valar are lying and and to worship morgoth and slaughter the faithful by sacrificing them on.....hm....altars....as rebels and as scapegoats for all numenor’s Problems(TM)....>_>....lmao tolkien can be really fucking dumb and scattered about his mythology and religion patchworking, and yet the wokeness-masturbating section of fandom is infinitely worse in the most predictable ways.

WHITE TREE FRACTALS (this time featuring bonus BAMF and Super Awesome And Lovable 21 Year Old Isildur......have i mentioned recently how much i hate peter jackson......)

anyway when Pharazon has a mid-life crisis about getting old sauron also convinces him he can become immortal by invading aman, which he should totally do bc The Strong Do What They Will And The Weak Bear What They Must (remember this is tragically admirable if flawed, because it’s defying fate!) and a super armament is built to invade aman and ar-Pharazon’s ex-bff Amandil who’s secretly friends with the Faithful freaks and makes secret plans to sail to valinor to beg the valar to do something and has his son elendil prepare to go to middle earth to see the elves who are hunkered down there doing.....uhhhhh???? probably hiding from numenorean conquest????

but anyway when pharazon invades aman and chases the elves out of tol eressea and then tirion, he has a Uh-Oh I Think This Was A Bad Idea feeling but can’t back down now so he lands ashore and camps out around tirion and then manwe prays to eru to bail everyone out and says he will lay down rule of arda for a minute since he doesn’t know what to do, presumably a la ‘omg dad i fucked up and totally crashed your car,’ and eru solves this by getting ar-pharazon & co buried under a mountain until the end of the world (funny how so few fans ever address this thing re: tirion in valinor fanfic eh? oh yeah i forgot silm fans don’t give a shit about humans), opening up a big crack in the ocean, pulling aman and tol eressea out into space, turning the earth from flat to spherical, and letting the island of numenor get buried under the resulting tidal wave and fall down the crack to wherever. because you know overkill is great! also sauron is too busy doing an Evil Villain Laugh to realize he’s about to get drowned and he totally dies and has to make himself a new body out of Anger and he’s now ugly, which sucks for the fanartists.

anyway manwe saves elendil and his fleet (it doesn’t say manwe, but it does say ‘but the great wind took [elendil], wilder than any wind that Men had known, roaring from the west, and it swept his ships far away...’ which, duh) and they wind up washed up on middle earth, but totally grief-stricken over the destruction of numenor.

I can’t liveblog the rest any better than verbatim so I’ll just quote:

Among the Exiles many believed that the summit of the Meneltarma, the Pillar of Heaven, was not drowned for ever, but rose again above the waves, a lonely island lost in the great waters; for it had been a hallowed place, and even in the days of Sauron none had defiled it And some there were of the seed of Eärendil that afterwards sought for it, because it was said among loremasters that the far-sighted men of old could see from the Meneltarma a glimmer of the Deathless Land. For even after the ruin the hearts of the Dúnedain were still set westwards; and though they knew indeed that the world was changed, they said: 'Avallónë is vanished from the Earth and the Land of Aman is taken away, and in the world of this present darkness they cannot be found. Yet once they were, and therefore they still are, in true being and in the whole shape of the world as at first it was devised.'

For the Dúnedain held that even mortal Men, if so blessed, might look upon other times than those of their bodies' life; and they longed ever to escape from the shadows of their exile and to see in some fashion the light that dies not; for the sorrow of the thought of death had pursued them over the deeps of the sea. Thus it was that great mariners among them would still search the empty seas, hoping to come upon the Isle of Meneltarma, and there to see a vision of things that were. But they found it not. And those that sailed far came only to the new lands, and found them like to the old lands, and subject to death. And those that sailed furthest set but a girdle about the Earth and returned weary at last to the place of their beginning; and they said:

'All roads are now bent.'

Thus in after days, what by the voyages of ships, what by lore and star-craft, the kings of Men knew that the world was indeed made round, and yet the Eldar were permitted still to depart and to come to the Ancient West and to Avallónë, if they would. Therefore the loremasters of Men said that a Straight Road must still be, for those that were permitted to find it. And they taught that, while the new world fell away, the old road and the path of the memory of the West still went on, as it were a mighty bridge invisible that passed through the air of breath and of flight (which were bent now as the world was bent), and traversed Ilmen which flesh unaided cannot endure, until it came to Tol Eressëa, the Lonely Isle, and maybe even beyond, to Valinor, where the Valar still dwell and watch the unfolding of the story of the world. And tales and rumours arose along the shores of the sea concerning mariners and men forlorn upon the water who, by some fate or grace or favour of the Valar, had entered in upon the Straight Way and seen the face of the world sink below them, and so had come to the lamplit quays of Avallónë, or verily to the last beaches on the margin of Aman, and there had looked upon the White Mountain, dreadful and beautiful, before they died.

[rozeart]

[Major Spoilers] “Follow your true feelings!”: My Musings on P5′s Wildcard Couple

Can we talk about Morgana’s astute observations regarding Akechi’s true feelings for Akira? Can we talk about how (Morgana’s words–not mine) Akechi’s smile when he was hanging out with Akira had been genuine? This boy– who had distanced himself from everyone, who had wrapped himself up in layers upon layers of lies that he wears like a second skin, who had made revenge his one and only goal in life – had also, in spite of himself, serendipitously found kinship in the one boy whom he has decided that he has to kill. 

In the most unlikely of places and at the most inopportune of times, Goro Akechi had found a place where he could let his mask hang a tiny bit askew, a place where he could let his cracks show, a place where he doesn’t have to stretch his plastic smile too thin or wrap the veneer of polished deference too suffocatingly tight. 

Goro Akechi enjoyed spending time with Akira. Goro Akechi enjoyed fighting alongside Akira. Goro Akechi wanted to be and wishes he was Akira’s friend.  And the most tragic thing about the whole ordeal is that they probably would have been friends– if only fate had been a little kinder and allowed for their paths to cross a lil sooner than it did. 

Can we talk about how it was immediately after hearing those words (and consequently, the implications that those words carry) that Akechi rabidly snaps and lashes out in vehement denial? Because (as much as he loathes to admit it) those words that Morgana had spoken rang true. Morgana had hit the nail on the head. Had exposed Akechi’s true feelings and laid it bare for all to see. Feelings that I don’t think even Akechi himself had come to terms with. Feelings that he didn’t quite understand and imo, didn’t quite want to understand. 

Because they complicated things. They would have made him falter in his grand plans for revenge that he had spent his whole life curating. And he can’t afford to let that happen. Not now, when he’s oh-so-close to seeing it through to the end.

Can we talk about how personal and intimate that little blurb for the rank 10 Justice SL is? Seriously. Take a look at that lil snippet and go compare it with everyone else’s. Unlike the majority of the other social links (sans the romanced rank 10 links, mind you), this one singles out Akira specifically. Thus, placing a greater emphasis on their shared bond– rather than that of the Phantom Thieves as a whole or the personal growth that they themselves had individually experienced.

Can we talk about how Akechi is one of the just four confidants in the game (out of a whopping 21) that is a part of a confidant link, which just naturally progresses to its highest rank on its own accord. Meaning that in every single playthrough of the game, Akira will always, no matter what, max out his bond with Akechi. Meaning that, despite whatever misgivings that the player themselves might have about Akechi, canonically in-game, both Akira and Akechi feel so strongly about the bond they share that it inexplicably, in spite of everything that transpired between the two, ultimately manifests itself into a blood oath.

Player agency is thus, set aside as the game’s narrative takes center stage. The player may have previously chosen to be brusque and rude towards Akechi’s advances of companionship but during the final confrontation with Akechi, Akira canonically comes to an understanding of why Akechi did the things he did. And it poignantly ends with Akira agreeing to fulfil Akechi’s final wishes. 

There’s a strong undercurrent of understanding, empathy and perhaps even unspoken forgiveness that threads through the entire fight, which finally culminates in that final promise. Defeating Shido, as stated by the rank 10 Justice SL, is an act that hence, symbolises the alignment of their wishes finally becoming one.  So yes, Akira does want to stop Shido because he wants to save Japan. Yes, Akira wants to make Shido repent for the decade-long atrocities that he has committed throughout the years. Yes, Akira wants to defeat Shido so that he can, in a way, get back at him for the false charges that he had made against Akira. But, on top of that, Akira is also reforming Shido because he wants to honour Akechi’s final request. 

(augh, my heart.)

Can we talk about how (after Futaba confirms Akechi’s death) you can interact with the shutters twice in the engine room? (Usually you just get one conversation exchange per every interactive object). Implying that Akira was actually standing by the shutters (in shock, grief, regret, anger etc who knows?) – idling there, staring at the closed shutters long enough that he had to be prompted twice to get a move on by his teammates. And that sad look that Morgana gets when he gently urges Joker to go… Akira was grieving for Akechi. You can’t tell me otherwise.

And c'mon. Just take a look at that. You can’t tell me that that quiet, lingering look that Morgana gets when he trails off isn’t directed at Akira. Because while the rest of the party did pity/begrudgingly sympathise with Akechi in the end, it’s Akira who shared the deepest connection with the late detective. Seriously though, rank 10 Confidant bonds are no joke. These are the confidants who (thanks to the strength of their bonds with Akira) are able to see past the illusions of a god; these are Akira’s most trusted companions who are willing to literally throw their lives away in order to protect him. And losing one that abruptly– just moments after it was gained… How fucking brutal is that?

Can we talk about how AKECHI ECHOED THE SAME EXACT THOUGHTS THAT I HAD BEEN PONDERING OVER ALL THIS TIME? Like I had previously said, I always believed that if time/fate/destiny had been a little kinder to them and allowed for them to meet sooner than they did— I genuinely do believe that they would have become fast friends.

And the fact that Akechi himself shares the same sentiment– the same Akechi whose terrifyingly myopic single-mindedness had funnelled him into a life of constant lies, murder, hatred and loneliness – had been moved enough by the bond that he shared with Akira that he had wondered what his life would have been like if only he had met Akira sooner…It breaks my heart. 

Here’s some food for thought: if, even with a relationship that had been mottled with lies, uncertainty and ulterior motives, these two boys were still able to inspire feelings of kinship in one another– imagine what could have blossomed if they had met each other years prior, clean slates and all.

Can we talk about how every other time that we’d run into him, Akechi would always make a reference to his and Akira’s supposedly fated bonds? Can we talk about how all of us probably side-eyed him a lil’ and thought: “Damn. You’re coming on a lil too strong there, Goro boy.” 

Can we talk about how he had been absolutely right? Can we talk about how the fates of these two boys were pre-destined to be intertwined– gnarled and twisted by celestial forces that were seemingly beyond their control? Two boys. Gifted with the same powers. Moulded to be unwitting pawns in a game between two deities. One, who was haunted by the scars of his troubled childhood. Who was never shown the importance of love and companionship, and thus, had hung himself out to dry with a completely non-existent support system. Who was subsequently, bestowed with this insane power without the additional company of a talking cat by his side.

And the other, who yes, undoubtedly carried a heart that was purer and infinitely kinder than Akechi’s own awful, selfish, distorted soul. But one who did also have the  physical embodiment of human hope itself by his side. Morgana was there, born with the sole purpose of guiding him through his turbulent journey, to answer Akira’s queries. He was able to explain the inner workings of the Palace to a group of rightfully scared and confused teens. He was able to provide them with a clearer purpose and a more noble goal. 

Golly gee. I wonder who would come out on top. Spoiler: It’s the one with the cat. I don’t have to be a fucking god to tell you that. Fuck Yaldabaoth. 

And finally, can we talk about how in a game all about redemption and second chances, fate still managed to once again screw Akechi over and deal him with yet another shitty hand? ffs, fate. leave the boy alone.

[nightangel0402]

My Beliefs

I have an interesting belief system to say the least. Though I was raised Catholic, I don't consider myself a full Catholic. Instead I'm a person who mixes different religious ideologies to form a unique set of beliefs for myself. This is an example of syncretism, because "As commonly used, the word “syncretism” has a negative ring it connotes a mixture, if not a hodgepodge, of religions" (Koertner,295). Along with the mixture of religious ideologies, I also mix in Nihilistic ideologies.

Starting with my more spiritual practices, on most days I like to think and believe in a god. While many monotheistic religions, like Christianity and Judaism, portray God as a human like man, I believe God has no one single form that we can perceive. Rather God appears in forms that we are most comfortable with, but those forms aren't the solely true appearance. This could explain the different things people see during a near death or out of body experience.

I believe God created this universe through The Big Bang to use as little energy as possible. Similar to the catholic belief that we are put on this earth for a reason, I believe each and everything that exist has a purpose and reason. This includes humans, animals, and even tiny things like pebbles. My Jewish friend believed that this life was preparing us for the next life and I agree. To me, we are born in a specific time and space different from others so we can develops strong and unique souls. By having a strong and unique soul, we can better live without our bodies in the next world.

While many religions like Baptist, Judaism, and Zen may advise against worldly pleasures, I am not in full agreement. In my belief, we should enjoy the treasure we have each day like friends, family, food, nature, and so much more. Similar to how the Buddha enjoyed a simple bowl of milk and some rice, I enjoy apples, the details in plants, and the sky above. I enjoy these things even more when I remember that God allowed these things to exist.

Now how do I practice my beliefs if I don't attend church or meditate in silence? I practice my beliefs by acting on them. Like a good samaritan, I love my neighbors and try not to over embellish in the seven deadly sins. I meditate in my mind when I walk my dog and see all the beauty in my surroundings as well as the beauty in myself. When I try falling asleep or watch videos on philosophy, I think about the nature of this world and how I can improve it and myself. Most of all I worship God not through hour long prayers or sacrifices, but by honoring and appreciating it through the gifts it created. To me, everything is made and holds a piece of God, including our souls and body. By loving everything and caring for myself, I love and care for God.

When I was young and going through a lot of rough surgeries, my mother told me that I was blessed and that God always finishes what he starts. I was very fortunate to have so many people praying for me, but I'm not certain if their prayers did anything or not. Still, prayer offers the individual a means of dealing with both negative and positive experiences in the present and the projected future (Spika, ch 5). Knowing this, I believe prayers are very special and important in any religion. Though I'm unsure as to how they affect the world, I believe in the sincerity and heart behind prayers whether they are Catholic, Judaic, or some other religions prayers.

Many religions express their beliefs through art whether it be the paintings and stained glass in churches or temples or the lovely statues of gods, heavenly figures, and saviors. Fortunately I com from a line of artist so I can express my self and beliefs through art. While I'm fairly good at painting, I like to draw and color the most. I hardly ever draw angels or religious icons, rather I draw symbolic animals and scenarios. The animals I draw each have a meaning like the tigers of hope and despair. By assigning values and meaning to each animal, it helps me to better understand those values and meanings. In many ways, this is similar to how Indian tribes would give value and meaning to animals. The prime animal that I draw and give the most value to is the fox. If my belief had a clear symbol it would be a fox. This is because, similar to me, the fox is a passionate animal that is adaptable and always changing to fit the environment. I draw the fox with red fur to show its passion, green eyes for its connection to the earth, and a bushy tail with a tip of white like a paintbrush to show its creativity. Whenever I feel down or stressed, I look to the drawings of my foxes for peace and empowerment, similar to how monks would look to statues of the Buddha for the same thing. As a side note, I draw God as a spiral galaxy from which all energy for creation comes from. In a way my depiction of God is kind of like The Way since it's something almost as unimaginable and a beyond infinite provider for the universe. Granted my depiction isn't as mysterious as The Way.

Another huge staple of religious beliefs are scriptures. With scriptures, people can read about their religion and the rules that govern it. While I have read parts of the Bible, the Tao Te Chang, and the En Teachings of Master Lin-Chi, I've never really taken any of their words to heart. Instead of copying and pasting words from different religious text, I interpret my own experiences and write my own scriptures. So far I've written a few poems and short writings to convey my beliefs. These days I'm also writing a picture book about the animals I've given meaning to. It will be a source of information and advice to help me and others who read it to understand how different behaviors, actions, feelings, and perceptions work as well as their pros and cons. Once I've finished the book, it will be a firm literate version of some of my beliefs. In the future, I also plan on writing more about my beliefs, in the hope that I can inspire others and give them hope like Corinthians 12:21 did for my mother.

From what I've written so far, it seems I'm very spiritual, but I don't stray away from less spiritual ideologies like atheism and nihilism. Every now and then I partake in thinking about the world through less spiritual and meaningful ideas. By thinking of the possibility that everything I know is could be meaningless and without an established purpose by God, I've learned to cope with those possibilities. Though I'm afraid of how small my life is in the grand scheme of things and the probability that there is nothing after death, it's those fears that inspire me to live and experience all that I can while I can. I take pride in giving value to things that could otherwise be meaningless like art, dreams, and love. As philosopher Bulent Diken writes,"Values are not absolute but this does not mean that there are no values". A lot of times I think as to why my life appears to have no distinct and straightforward purpose and it leads me to wonder if this was made intentional by God. Like maybe our life's purpose and value is like a blank piece of paper given to us by God. God could easily fill the paper for us, but that wouldn't be nearly as fun or creative compared to us filling it out based on our unique perception of the world. In the end, though nihilism fills me with doubts about this world and God, those doubts help strengthen my love and connection to the world and God.

While it seems chaotic and selfish to pick and chose different aspects of religions to create my own mixed belief system, I think it works very well for me. Just how there is no one way to learn and practice a school subject, there is no one way to learn and practice a belief. By mixing beliefs, I've created a new and unique belief that works for me and doesn't completely go against other beliefs. Though I don't go to church, I still love and worship God. Though I don't starve myself of pleasure, I meditate in my mind while walking and falling asleep. Though I don't always believe in God, I use those doubts to become closer to God. By having my own set of mixed beliefs, I can practice and believe them with sincerity and isn't that what all beliefs ask for?

Citations

Diken, B. (2009). Nihilism. London: Routledge.

Koertner, Ulrich H.J. "Syncretism and the Construction of a Personal Spirituality." THEOLOGY TODAY, 295-310 (3)70, The Author(s), 2013, University of Vienna, Schenkenstrasse 8-10, Vienna, 1230, Austria.

Spilka, Bernard, and Kevin L. Ladd. The Psychology of Prayer : A Scientific Approach, Guilford Publications, 2014. ProQuest Ebook Central, https://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/usf/detail.action?docID=1010621.

[bfparker-blog]

“Stephen Hawking (1942-) Update, Nov. 2017; British Scientist Who Shares Albert Einstein’s Concern About The Origin & Future of Our Universe.”

By Franklin Parker & Betty J. Parker, E-mail: bfparker@frontiernet.net (Update of Authors’ April 16, 2007 Hawking Article), PO Box 406, Pleasant Hill, TN 38578-0406.



Why This Update: An Oct. 23, 2017, news item said that when Cambridge University authorities put on their website for the first time giving free access to Stephen Hawking’s 1966 doctoral thesis, “Properties of Expanding Universes,” the number of requests caused the breakdown of its website. This news item prompted the Parkers to reprint their 2007 review of Stephen Hawking’s 2005 bestseller, A Briefer History of Time.




Frank:Hawking like Einstein and other key scientists sought to discover how the Universe began; how life evolved; who and what we humans are; and if creation came about by chance or by Divine Will. We don’t think with scientific objectivity. Our attitudes, our values come from family, friends, and national culture. A scientific perspective helps offset inevitable bias.






Betty:You’re saying that by reviewing Hawking’s 2005 A Briefer History of Time, we can learn what scientists have found out about our Universe; how matter turned into stars, into galaxies of stars, into our present Universe.

Frank:Yes, let’s learn how our present Universe arose, how our Milky Way galaxy was formed, how one star became our Sun, how from our Sun came 8 planets, including Earth, which we share with plants, animals, other life forms. Let’s look at our Earth’s past, present, and future.

Betty:Those are good reasons for this review. Scientific terms we use we try to make clear in context. We also share insights from various other sources about the search for the origin of the Universe. Now a quick look at British astrophysicist Stephen Hawking, who wrote this book with a collaborating American scientist.  

Frank:British born Stephen Hawking (born Jan. 8, 1942), now (2017) age 75, retired as a mathematics professor at Cambridge University. He is often compared to Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in knowledge about the Universe. Hawking also has a debilitating nerve disorder, Lou Gehrig’s disease, ALS, which has made him wheelchair-bound for over 50 years.




Betty:Hawking’s A Briefer History of Timesimplifies his earlier books which many non-scientists thought too difficult.

Frank:Hawking’s major research is on Black Holes, so called because they are part of unseen dark matter comprising most of the Universe, 94% or more. The many stars you see at night are only 6% or less of what’s up there. The rest is invisible dark matter, including Black Holes, many formed at the instant our Universe was born. More about Black Holes later.




Betty:Hawking seeks, as Einstein sought but never found, one “Unified Theory” to explain the Universe and our place in it.

Frank:Hawking seeks this “Unified Theory” in the Big Bang and in Black Holes which came from the Big Bang.




Betty:The Big Bang theory holds that everything that now exists began in a gigantic, gaseous, probably silent eruption about 13.7 billion years ago when something infinitely tiny became our present infinitely large Universe. Mounting evidence has led most scientists to accept this Big Bang theory of the creation of the Universe.




Frank:Hawking ends his A Briefer History of Timewith the thought that to find this holy grail of Einstein’s Unified Theory may help us: “… know the mind of God.”1






Betty:This gigantic thought comes from a frail man. An interviewer for a British newspaper, Sept. 2005, sent Hawking advance questions. Hawking returned them and asked for shorter, more focused questions. Facing Hawking in his Cambridge University office, the interviewer saw that Hawking’s frailty required brevity.

Frank:Shriveled, voiceless, immobile in a wheel chair, able to lift only one finger to his computer, he can twitch only one muscle on his right cheek, which is targeted by an infrared beam. This beam allows him to sift through a specially prepared dictionary, then send his thoughts through his computer to his voice synthesizer, slowly, painfully. Yet he is upbeat, impish, playful, and surprisingly productive.




Betty:Asked if his 2005 book has enough new material to justify buying it, Hawking said over his voice synthesizer: My previous 1988 book aroused interest. But many found it difficult. I made this 2005 book easier and added new information about the Universe.




Frank:Interviewer: Are you worried that readers will think you’re just cashing in on your new book?




Betty:Hawking: I put a lot of effort into this 2005 book when I was critically ill with pneumonia. Scientists need to explain their work about the Universe because it answers questions often asked about religion, such as how we and the Universe came to be.

Frank:With round-the-clock nursing care, Hawking held the same named Cambridge University professorship once held by Sir Isaac Newton. Hawking is also helped by his selected bright Ph.D. students. Using his computerized voice synthesizer, he lectures at Cambridge, elsewhere, and overseas. He writes technical and popular books about the Universe and has a website containing his major papers.

Betty:More about Hawking later. First, brief history leading to Einstein and Hawking. Early civilizations marveled at the heavenly bodies and used their regular cycles to mark calendar days, months, seasons, years; to plant seeds, to gather crops, and to navigate ships.




Frank:Ancient Chinese (1300s Before the Common Era),  and ancient Babylonians (700 BCE) charted the positions of the stars and recorded eclipses of the Sun. Ancient Egyptians aligned their temples and pyramids with heavenly bodies. Stonehenge in southern England was positioned in line with the Sun and the Moon.3




Betty:Greek philosophers Pythagoras (580-500 BCE) and Aristotle (384-322 BCE) saw planets and stars revolving around a stationary earth. Egyptian astronomer Claudius Ptolemy (100-170 CE) perpetuated this earth-centered view which lasted to the 1500s. The Catholic Church favored an earth-centered Universe because it left room for heaven and hell.




Frank:Polish astronomer Nicolaus Copernicus (1473-1543) first proclaimed a heliocentric, sun-centered planetary system. Holding a Catholic Church office and wanting to avoid Church censorship, he had his book published just before he died in 1543.




Betty:Danish astronomer Tycho Brahe (1546-1601) described more precisely Copernicus’s sun-centered system. His assistant, German-born Johannes Kepler (1571-1630), recorded that our Earth and neighboring planets go around our Sun in an ellipse, not a circular path.




Frank:Italian Galileo Galilei (1564-1642) first used a telescope (1609) to observe planetary movement. By confirming Copernicus’ sun-centered system, he ended the Ptolemian earth-centered system. He thus earned the disapproval of the Catholic Church but greatly advanced astronomy.




Betty:England’s Isaac Newton (1642-1727), greatest scientist of his time, gave us Calculus, essential in astronomical computation. Newton sent a beam of sunlight through a glass prism to show that white light consists of a rainbow of colors, flowing from hydrogen burning inside our Sun’s core.




Frank:Newton explained gravity as a force that holds matter together; makes apples fall from trees, the Moon orbit the Earth, planets orbit the Sun, galaxies of suns whirl around the Universe. Newton, who gave us universal laws of motion, separated space and time—which Einstein later connected.




Betty:In 1905, Albert Einstein, German-born (1879-1955), at age 26, worked in the patent office, Bern, Switzerland. That year (1905) he published three amazing scholarly papers. He first clarified how molecules and atoms work. Eighty years earlier (1827) Scottish biologist Robert Brown (b. 1773) saw under a microscope grains of pollen placed in water suddenly move about irregularly. No one was able to explain this movement.






Frank:Using a mathematical formula, Einstein explained this “Brownian movement” as water molecules bombarding the pollen grains and moving them erratically. Unseen by eye or microscope, we know what molecules and atoms do only by their effect on nearby matter.




Betty:Einstein showed that inside the atom are lighter electrons circling heavier protons. Besides electrons and protons atoms contain neutrons and quarks; inside quarks are gluons, and—most recently some believe–tiny vibrating strings. These tiny universes within universes, all electro-magnetically charged, are known by the effect of their charge on nearby matter. Unlike charges: plus+ minus-, attract. Like charges repel: plus+plus+, repels; minus-minus-, repels.




Frank:Einstein thus affirmed what English scientists Michael Faraday (1791-1867) and James Clerk Maxwell (1831-79) had earlier discovered: that all atoms are electro-magnetically charged.




Betty:Einstein’s second 1905 paper said that light, until then considered an electro-magnetic wave, consisted also of independent particles of energy called “photons.” When light photons strike some metals, said Einstein, those metals eject electrons. Einstein won the Nobel Prize in Physics (1921) for this paper about light. It is the basis of automatic light-operated garage and other door openers, the basis for electronic devices, television, laser surgery, and P.E.T. scans.




Frank:Einstein’s third 1905 paper on Special Relativity and his 1915 paper on General Relativity said that matter and energy are not separate but related and interchangeable. Crack open an atom and matter can be turned into energy. And vice versa, as when a nuclear chain reaction explodes as an atomic bomb or a hydrogen bomb.




Betty:Einstein’s Relativity papers also made three important points: 1-space and time are not separate but operate together as space-time. 2-the gravitational pull of a large planet-like mass will bend both light and space around it. And, 3-E=mc2: Energy equals mass (i.e., matter) multiplied by the speed of light, squared.




Frank:Hard to grasp, little understood, Einstein’s concepts became better known after he sent his 1915 General Relativity paper to University of Leyden (Netherlands) astronomy Prof. Willem de Sitter (1872-1935), who sent the paper on to Cambridge University astronomer Arthur Stanley Eddington (1882-1944).






Betty:Eddington, to test Einstein’s theory that light bends around a large mass, planned to photograph an eclipse of the Sun. But in 1915, World War I, England was blockaded by German U-Boats. Eddington waited. He then organized photo expeditions to Brazil and an island off the West African coast, where the May 29, 1919, eclipse was clearest.




Frank:Photos of the eclipse showed that light did bend around the Sun, as Einstein had predicted. The London Times, Nov. 7, 1919, headlined: ”Revolution in Science. New Theory of the Universe. Newton’s Ideas Overthrown.”4

Betty:Einstein, previously unknown, was lionized by the press. For the rest of his life he was a public idol, was on Timemagazine’s cover five times, the last on Dec. 31, 1999, as “Man of the Century.”5

Frank:Here’s what a scientist wrote of Einstein’s 1905 findings, 100 years later, in 2005: “E=mc2 is the secret of the stars. It is the cosmic engine that drives the entire universe. It means that even a few tablespoons of matter, if fully [bombarded], can release the energy of an atomic bomb. It’s the reason why the stars shine and why the Sun lights up the Earth. Matter and energy are…the same thing, and can turn into each other. Even a rock can turn into a light ray if the rock [is] uranium and the light ray is a burst of atomic radiation.”6




Betty:What spurred those early 20th century advances in astronomy? Age-old fossils discovered in rock layers in the 1820s-40s during canal and railroad building aroused curiosity. Age-old fossils meant that ours is an old Earth, spawned by an older Sun, part of an ancient Universe. Astronomers were also aided by advances in mathematics and by better built, larger, land-based telescopes. Sophisticated orbiting telescopes, above the Earth’s haze, have, since the 1950s, sent back amazing photos of vast galaxies of stars far far away




Frank:In 1913 U.S. astronomer V. M. Slipher (1875-1969), using the 30-inch telescope at Lowell Observatory, Flagstaff, AZ, first recorded galaxies of stars beyond our Milky Way, moving rapidly away from Earth, away from each other. This was the first inkling of an expanding Universe, expanding from a beginning point, a gigantic eruption, later to be called the Big Bang.




Betty:In 1922 the Russian scientist Alexander Friedmann (1888-1925) proposed the theory of the Big Bang. Friedmann, reasoning from Einstein’s relativity theories, described possible origins of the Universe. Friedmann’s writings were little known. He was caught up in the Russian Revolution and died at age 37.  But Friedmann’s scenarios built on Einstein’s theories were pivotal in advancing the Big Bang theory.




Frank:Friedmann’s first scenario was a Steady State Universe, without beginning or end, steadily expanding, replacing dying stars with new stars created from inexhaustible swirling gaseous debris in space. Most scientists, including Einstein, long believed in the Steady State theory of the Universe.




Betty:But Friedmann’s second scenario anticipated the Big Bang. If galaxies of stars are expanding, then something made them expand. Galaxies of stars must earlier have been closer together, ever closer, crunched together, ultimately as small as a ball, as tiny as an atom. There must have been a beginning point, a singularity, later called the Big Bang, which wiped out everything before it; which gave birth to all we know of our Universe–its physics, space-time, gravity, elements like hydrogen, stars, galaxies of stars; our Milky Way, Sun, Earth and its life forms.




Frank:Friedmann’s theory played the movie of our vast expanding complex Universe backward to its origin 13.7 billion years ago from a singularity, something so small, so dense, so hot that it erupted with the energy of a billion hydrogen bombs and rapidly expanded.




Betty:Friedmann envisioned a resulting dark soupy mass mushrooming into incredibly hot gases, giving birth to boiling hot particles which, when cooled, formed hydrogen which, when further cooled, clumped together by gravity to form hydrogen-burning stars, then galaxies of stars which, after billions of years, became our present Universe.




Frank:In 1927 Belgian Catholic priest and University of Louvain Prof. Georges Henri Lemaítre (1894-1966), who studied physics in the U.S., proclaimed publicly what Friedmann had theorized, that the Universe was most likely born 13.7 billion of years ago in a singularity, an instant, thus beginning our space-time, our physics, our present Universe, stars, and life on Earth.

Betty:The name “Big Bang” was first used about 1930 as a term of derision by Fred Hoyle, a Steady-State British astronomer (1915-2001). Hoyle would not, could not, believe early evidence of the Big Bang origin of the Universe advanced by his rival U.S. astronomer Edwin Hubble (1889-1953), who continued V. M. Slipher’s observation of galaxies of stars beyond our Milky Way.




Frank:Edwin Hubble, using the 100-inch telescope at Mount Wilson Observatory near Pasadena, CA, calibrated the speed of nine galaxies of stars beyond our Milky Way as they moved away from earth, away from each other. Hubble’s Law of 1929 stated that galaxies move apart at a rate that increases with their distance from the Earth.7






Betty:After Edwin Hubble came Russian-born astronomer George Gamow (1904-68), Alexander Friedmann’s student, who later did important space research at George Washington University, Washington, DC.




Frank:Gamow’s 1948 paper offered telescopic and mathematical proof that far off galaxies were moving rapidly away from Earth, away from each other; that they were expanding from the massive Big Bang billions of years ago; that from this pinpoint explosion long ago spewed forth blazing rays and gases which, as they cooled over time, became the atoms, the matter, the planets, and the galaxies of our present Universe.




Betty:Further evidence of the Big Bang came by accident in 1965. An interesting story: radio astronomers Arno Penzias (1933-) and Robert W. Wilson (1936-), working at Bell Laboratory, NJ, measuring radio waves, heard steady static hiss through their receiving antennas, similar to the hiss our TVs make when the screen is snowy and the expected image not received.




Frank:Hearing the same puzzling hiss day and night from all points of the sky beyond our Milky Way galaxy, Penzias and Wilson asked colleagues what this strange static might be.




Betty:A friend told Penzias that two physicists at nearby Princeton, NJ, were searching for the radiation George Gamow had predicted still exists from the Big Bang.

Frank:Penzias and Wilson realized that they had stumbled on the cosmic microwave background of the Big Bang some 13.7 billion years ago. They won the 1978 Nobel Prize in Physics for this discovery.




Betty:Some Big Bang doubters questioned the smoothness of the hiss heard by Penzias and Wilson. They said that the hiss should have been as turbulently lumpy as the original gas gushing forth at the instant of creation.




Frank:It was MIT physics Prof. Alan H. Guth (b. 1947) who in 1979 thus explained the smooth hiss: a split instant after the Big Bang the resulting hot gases doubled and redoubled many times, creating a rapid mammoth “Inflation” of the Universe. This gigantic inflation smoothed out the early Universe’s turbulent wrinkles, much as a limp balloon’s wrinkles are smoothed out when the balloon is inflated.8




Betty:More confirmation of the Big Bang came in 1992 when the National Aeronautic and Space Administration’s orbital telescope (called COBE) Cosmic Background Explorer took photos measuring the spectrum of Big Bang remnants. In Sept. 2006 COBE’s leading scientists, John Mather (b. 1946) and George F. Smoot (b. 1945), won the Nobel Prize in Physics for documenting this Big Bang evidence.9(John Mather, by chance, was our Uplands Retirement member Mark Heald’s physics student at Swarthmore College, Penn., Class of 1968).






Frank:Back to Hawking. In 1965, when Penzias and Wilson heard the Big Bang hiss, Stephen Hawking at age 23 was a Cambridge University graduate student looking for a Ph.D. dissertation topic. He had been diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease in Jan. 1962, given 2 years to live, was despondent, but then encouraged to persevere by Jane Wilde, his future wife, an Oxford graduate student. They married in July 1965.




Betty:Encouraged by Jane Wilde and his Cambridge doctoral advisor, Hawking felt reasonably well, wanted to marry, needed a job, knew that to get a university teaching job he needed a Ph.D., and to finish his Ph.D. he needed a dissertation topic.




Frank:Hawking’s dissertation topic idea on Black Holes came from a 1965 paper by Oxford professor of mathematics Roger Penrose (b. 1931-).




Betty:Penrose, a member of Hawking’s Cambridge dissertation committee, showed, mathematically, that Black Holes first erupted with other debris during the Big Bang.

Frank:Penrose also showed that, since the Big Bang, when very large stars burn most of their hydrogen, they collapse, are ultimately crushed into a singularity, a point of infinite density, becoming invisible Black Holes, sucking in with incredible force everything near them: dust, meteorites, planets, galaxies. Black Holes seem to act as giant vacuum cleaners.




Betty:It was first believed that nothing escapes a Black Hole, not even light, until Hawking in 1973 showed mathematically that Black Holes do emit absorbed material in garbled form. This emission is called “Hawking Radiation.” Hawking affirmed that Black Holes erupted from the Big Bang as part of the unseen dark matter of the Universe and that Black Holes are still being created from very large burned-out stars. Black Holes’ purpose, still unknown, may be to redirect matter back into the Universe.




Frank:Wife Jane Wilde helped Hawking survive the loss of his neuromuscular control, helped him get his Ph.D. degree, helped in his academic career, and helped him rise to the top of his field as lecturer, author, and Black Hole explorer.




Betty:Jane Hawking’s memoir published in 1999 entitled Music to Move the Starstold of their three children and two grandchildren. She wrote that when Stephen Hawking was first in a wheelchair and could not dress himself, they had little outside help except from a few of his physics students in exchange for extra tutoring. They needed money for his care. She encouraged him to write his popular A Brief History of Time, 1988. The book’s success led to a film about the book; later a book was published about the film.




Frank:Their drift apart came with the success of his books, his rising fame, and his near pop-star status. Of their breakup she wrote: “Many factors—fame, fortune, diverging aspirations, priorities and outlook, as well as many people—[came] between [us]… I was cast aside in favour of someone who seemed to offer more constant and devoted nursing care and travel companionship….”10




Betty:Jane Hawking, a devout Christian, was disturbed by Stephen’s agnosticism. They separated in 1991, divorced, both remarried, Stephen Hawking to one of his nurses, Elaine Mason in 1995. He is not an easy man to live with.  His second marriage also ended in divorce after 11 years in 2006.11

Frank:Hawking often mentions God in his books and speeches. He says that he is not an atheist. He calls himself an agnostic and like Einstein he sees God in the orderliness of nature. Below, some short Hawking quotations.12

Betty:On God: To Einstein’s statement: “that God does not play dice,” Hawking retorted, “God not only plays dice, He also sometimes throws the dice where they cannot be seen.”




Frank:On “divine inspiration:” “The whole history of science has been the gradual realization that events do not happen in an arbitrary manner, but that they reflect a certain underlying order, which may or may not be divinely inspired.”

Betty:On wars, viruses, floods, asteroids, other catastrophes: “I don’t think the human race will survive the next thousand years unless we spread into space.”






Frank:On his goal: “My goal is simple. It is a complete understanding of the Universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all.”




Betty:On humanity’s special place: “We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.”




Frank:On nuclear weapons and climate change: “…we [scientists] foresee great peril if governments and society do not take action now to render nuclear weapons obsolete and prevent further climate change.”13

Betty:On his disability: “It is a waste of time to be angry about my disability. One has to get on with life…. People won’t have time for you if you are always angry or complaining.”14




Frank:Scientists say the Big Bang 13.7 billion years ago wiped out everything that existed earlier and created our physics, space, time, gravity, and the Universe as scientists uncover its mysteries.




Betty:Some scientists speculate that the Big Bang formed more than one Universe, ours and others, each with a different physics and space-time. Hawking has a joke about co-existing multi-universes: if you happen to meet your double from another universe don’t shake hands—you might annihilate one another!

Frank:Co-existing multi-universes? Sound bizarre. So do the ideas of newer “String Theory” scientists. They believe that–besides electrons, protons, neutrons, quarks, and gluons—subatomic physics, called Quantum Physics, contains something even smaller–tiny flexible electro-magnetic vibrating strings; strings that loop in and out, connect and disconnect, moving through all matter. The still unknown function of vibrating strings may also be one of direction and control. But these newer theories await further evidence.




Betty:We humans live on a tiny, obscure planet Earth—one of 8 planets which–with Pluto, meteorites, asteroids, and debris orbit around our Sun. Our Sun, which is a second or third generation star, was formed from an outer arm of a swirling, whirling Milky Way Galaxy consisting of maybe billions of stars. And—keep in mind—that our Milky Way Galaxy is itself only one of unknown billions of other galaxies of stars.

Frank:Our Sun has been burning its hydrogen (92.1%) for 4.6 billion years. It has enough fuel for maybe another 5 billion years. As its life ends, its helium (7.8%) will fuse into heavier elements. Our Sun will swell, will swallow our Earth and our Moon, will likely collapse into a white dwarf and in time be absorbed by other galaxies.15




Betty:Our Moon was formed, scientists think, about 4.5 billion years ago, when a large meteorite struck infant Earth with gigantic force, flinging up vaporized rock and debris, which in time formed a ball to orbit Earth as our Moon.




Frank:Our early Earth bubbled lifeless for a very long time, with gases hissing from cooling and slowly moving rock mantles. From these gases came carbon dioxide, nitrogen, water vapor, but not yet oxygen essential for life.

Betty:As temperatures dropped and the Earth cooled, hot steam became heavy rains, primordial monsoons, filling ocean basins.




Frank:Some 3.8 billion years ago, after meteorite hits abated and oceans were formed, a threshold was reached, a miracle slowly occurred: chemical reaction produced molecules complex enough to reproduce themselves.




Betty:About 3.5 billion years ago single cell bacteria flourished on Earth, spread from cracks in ocean bottoms, from cracks on Earth’s rock mantle. Countless trillions of these microscopic bacteria transformed Earth. As plants they captured our Sun’s energy, to release oxygen as waste, and over millions of years turned Earth’s atmosphere into breathable air, allowing a diversity of plant and animal life to flourish.

Frank:Earth’s magnetic field and ozone layer shield us from most of our Sun’s solar winds and deadly rays. Earth’s unique third position from the Sun limits catastrophic meteorite hits; permits water to exist in stages from ice to steam; shields life forms from the killing frost of planets beyond it: Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune (Pluto was reduced from planet status in 2006).




Betty:By Providence or Chance Earth is congenial for living things, congenial in Earth’s safe distance from the Sun, Earth’s modest size, the Earth’s gravitational spin for a 24 hour night and day cycle, the Moon’s control of ocean currents and tides, Earth’s seasonal changes, temperate climate, ozone layer, water, oxygen, and minerals needed for life.




Frank:Even the meteorite hits which killed the dinosaurs 65 million years ago was providential. For dinosaurs were Earth’s largest eaters of plants and animals. That meteorite hit which destroyed dinosaurs allowed mammals to flourish and humans to emerge.




Betty:Earth alone, so far as we know, has conditions and chemicals needed for human life. We humans are composed of water (75%), carbon (12.5%), oxygen (6.25%); nitrogen (2.5%); and calcium, iron, and other elements (3.75%)16

Frank:So far as we know, we humans on Earth are unique in the Universe, made of Big Bang star dust to which we must ultimately return.




Betty:We have maybe 4 or so billion years before our dying Sun makes Earth uninhabitable. We have much to do.




Frank:We must, very soon, stop wars, limit population growth, develop substitutes for fast depleting fossil fuels (oil, coal, natural gas), learn how to mine our oceans for food and medicines.




Betty:Conquer major killing diseases; make space travel safer, cheaper, and commercial so as to use raw materials from space.




Frank:We must seek possible intelligent life elsewhere in the Universe and become mutually supportive, for ultimately we will be forced to perpetuate human colonies on other younger, safer planets.




Betty:Frank, let’s end on: 1-the value of this book, 2-religion and the Big Bang, 3-our evaluation of Hawking, and 4-our final thoughts.






Frank: Hawking’s A Briefer History of Timeis an eye opener, a humbling experience, making you want to read related works for deeper understanding. [When we originally gave this 2007 dialog talk we had on back tables many books, articles, internet sources we consulted on Hawking, astronomy, the Universe).




Betty:On religion: Genesisand the Big Bang have a lot in common if you lengthen a Biblical day to mean a long, long time.  Religion and science are not in conflict if Divine Will, not Chance, is seen as the author of the Big Bang.




Frank:Also on religion: Most U.S. adults say they believe in a Supreme Being. Maybe half of U.S. adults attend church. The human search for meaning is universal and never ending.17




Betty:Scientific objectivity is as important as separation of church and state, freedom of thought, freedom of choice. It is an antidote to absolutists right or left, secular or religious.

Frank:Beware absolutists with political agendas. Yesterday’s anti-evolution Creationists (1970s), today’s anti-evolution Intelligent Design advocates, 2017+ “pro-Trumpists” want to rule over a dictatorial theocracy.




Betty:Beware the Pat Robertsons and Jerry Falwells. Remember Lord Acton’s (1834-1902) quotation: “Absolute power corrupts absolutely.”




Frank:Hawking–and other science popularizers–Jules Verne (1828-1905), H.G. Wells (1866-1946), the late Carl Sagan (1934-96), others–make us think. They encourage young people to study and advance science.




Betty:Hawking is smart, even brilliant, though some think not yet up to Einstein’s stature. Hawking shows us our need to educate children to understand science and the brightest of them to advance science.




Frank:Learning must be strengthened, lengthened to include peace, altruism, concern for others: and making Earth greener, cleaner, safer, more plentiful, more equitable.




Betty:I end with a quotation from a working man’s philosopher, Eric Hoffer (1902-83) who wrote: “the only legitimate end in [human] life is to finish God’s work, to bring to full growth the capacities and talents in all of us.” 1

Frank:I end by saying that Hawking’s search to know the mind of God makes him more the Creator’s helper than the Creator’s debunker. So ends our review and commentary. We learned a lot. We hope you have too. Thank you for hearing and/or reading this our paper.

Footnotes




To access the Parker’s first (2007) publication on Hawkings:  https://bfparker.wordpress.com/2007/01/16/universe-big-bang-black-holes-dialogue-on-stephen-hawking’s-a-briefer-history-of-time/

1Stephen Hawking and Leonard Mlodinow, A Briefer History of Time.” N.Y.: Bantam Book, Oct. 2005, p. 142.




2 http://www.hawking.org.uk/




3Maugh, Thomas H., II. “Dig Provides clues about builders of Stonehenge.” Tennessean(Nashville), Jan. 31, 2007, p. 2A.

4Clark, Ronald W. Einstein: The Life and Times. NY: World Publishing, 1965, p. 208-209.




5http://www.time.com/time/searchresults?D=Science+%26+Technology&sid=10FF459DAD68&relsort=yes&Ntt=Science+%26+Technology&Ntk=WithBodyDate&internalid=endeca_dimension&Ntx=mode+matchallpartial&N=46+4294935253&Nty=1




6SUNY physicist Michio Kaku, in: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/einstein/expe-text.html




7http://www.time.com/time/time/scientist/profile/hubble.html




8http://www.luminet.net/~wenonah/new/bigbang.htm




9Stephen Hawking, A Briefer…, pp. 60-61. Robert Jastrow, God and the Astronomers. N.Y.: W.W. Norton & Co., 1992, pp. 20-21. Gerald E. Tauber, Relativitity: From Einstein to Black Holes. N.Y.: Franklin Watts, 1988, p. 92.


10http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23371424-details/Stephen+Hawking+to+divorce+second+wife/article.do




11(Hawking Quote, Jan. 18, 2007: http://www.dailyindia.com/show/104689.php/Hawking-warns-world-to-wake-up-to-impending-Armageddon




12(Hawking quotes): http://en.thinkexist.com/quotes/stephen_hawking/http://www.quotedb.com/authors/stephen-hawkinghttp://www.creativequotations.com/one/542.htm




13http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006600196,00.html




14http://www.solarviews.com/eng/sun.htm




15Weinstein, Albert, and Steven E. Smith. Cosmology Simplified: Highlights of the Evolution of the Universe. Y2K Edition. Part 2, “Evolution of Life,” Chap. 8, Introduction, in: http://hometown.aol.com/aweinst819/cosmo2k.htm




16http://www.harrisinteractive.com/harris_poll/index.asp?PID=707




17Eric Hoffer, Ordeal of Change. NY: Harper & Row, 1963.


google.com on Stephen Hawking lists 140,000 entries on 10 pages:


http://www.google.com/custom?PHPSESS1D=7d66ba2487943cb41cc60fe5bad29ae6&q=Stephen+Hawking&client=pub-0968665462800740&forid=1&ie=ISO-8859-1&oe=ISO-8859-1&safe=active&cof=GALT%3A%23008000%3BGL%3A1%3BDIV%3A%23000000%3BVLC%3A663399%3BAH%3Acenter%3BBGC%3AFFFFFF%3BLBGC%3AFFFFFF%3BALC%3A0000FF%3BLC%3A0000FF%3BT%3A000000%3BGFNT%3A0000FF%3BGIMP%3A0000FF%3BLH%3A35%3BLW%3A150%3BL%3Ahttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.christianster.com%2Fctan%2Fihtml%2Fimages%2Fchristiansterlogo.jpg%3BS%3Ahttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.christianster.com%3BFORID%3A1%3B&hl=en




Other Books Consulted

1-Aczel, Amir D. God’s Equation: Einstein, Relativity, and the Expanding University. NY: Four Walls Eight Windows, 1999.




2-Asimov, Isaac. Mysteries of Deep Space: Black Holes, Pulsars, and Quasars. Milwaukee: Gareth Stevens Publishing, 1994.




3-Ferguson, Kitty. Stephen Hawking: Quest for A Theory of Everything. N.Y.: Bantam, 1992.




4-Ferris, Timothy. The Whole Shebang: A State-of-the-Universe(s) Report. N.Y.: Simon & Schuster, 1997.




5-Greene, Brian. The Elegant Universe: Superstrings, Hidden Dimensions, and the Quest fir the Ultimate Theory. N.Y.: W.W. Norton, 2003.




6-Hawking, Stephen. The Universe in a Nutshell. N.Y.: Bantam Books, Nov. 2001.




7-McEvoy, J. P. & Oscar Zarate. Introducing Stephen Hawking. Icon/Totem, 1995.

8-Miller, Ron & William K. Hartmann. The Grand Tour: A Traveler’s Guide to the Solar System. N.Y.: Workman Publishing, Rev. 2005.




9-Morris, Richard. The Fate of the Universe. N.Y.: Playboy Press, 1982.




10-Strathern, Paul. Hawking and Black Holes. N.Y.: Anchor/Doubleday [Big Idea Series], 1998.


White, Michael & John Gribbin. Stephen Hawking: A Life in Science. Joseph Henry Press, 1992. Dutton, 1992. Plume, 1993.




END. E-mail corrections, additions, suggestions to: bfparker@frontiernet.net

To access the Parker’s first publication on Hawkings:  https://bfparker.wordpress.com/2007/01/16/universe-big-bang-black-holes-dialogue-on-stephen-hawking’s-a-briefer-history-of-time/

END.  E-mail corrections, comments, additions, and suggestions to: bfparker@frontiernet.net