#called out to work because i stayed up late doing this theme and slept in on my alarm … don’t ever say i don’t do it for the love of thegam

[hyukascampfire]

i know it’s still summer but c’mon…

†+ ( 𝔇𝐸𝑉𝑂𝑇𝔩𝑂𝑁 ) 暗い 𝗂 𝖺𝗆 𝖺𝖼𝖼𝗎𝗌𝖾𝖽

ཐི🔒 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖺 𝗉𝗈𝗂𝗇𝗍 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗍 𝗍𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗆𝖾. ( 𝗂 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎. ) 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂 𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗊𝗎𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝖾𝗑𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗂𝗇. 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂 𝖺𝗅𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝗐𝗈𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝖿 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗒 𝗂𝗍 𝗌𝖺𝗂𝖽 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗌𝗎𝗉𝗉𝗈𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈. 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗆𝖺𝗒𝖻𝖾 𝗂𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝖾𝖽. ⠀─── 𝗎𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗅 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗇, 𝗂 𝗀𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗌 𝗂'𝗅𝗅 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝖺𝗂𝗍. ( 𝗂 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎, 𝗂 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎. ) 𝗐𝖺𝗂𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗂𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄. 𝗐𝖺𝗂𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗂𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗆𝖾 𝖺𝗀𝖺𝗂𝗇.

[summercourtship]

Hi! could you do a NSFW alphabet for Gortash? Sending you all my love!!!

yes! this is good because I'm in the middle of planning a larger fic w/ him and I need to hone in on some of these little things lol. while this alphabet isn't directly related to that fic, the reader in this scenario is a Tav and Gortash survived the end of the game.

(I also just instinctively write these as reader insert, IDK it's just easier)

Okay I'll stop rambling lmao.

NSFW Alphabet: Enver Gortash (Baldur's Gate 3) (18+)

warnings: sexual themes (obviously), f!reader, unhealthy relationships

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

At first, he didn't care much about aftercare with you. He didn't see it as being necessary, even though he was being particularly rough with you. A lot of those earlier encounters were hurried couplings, the kind where you were bent over his desk or pushed against a wall. Much easier for him to just pull up your underwear, give you a smack on the ass, and tell you to leave him alone so he could do work. Once you started actually developing a deeper connection (he would never call it feelings), he might actually stick around for a little while to make sure you were alright. It's more likely to happen if you were fucking in bed, simply because it's a lot easier to convince him to stay if he's already lying down.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Him: His hands. Of course, because he uses them to create, and because they are akin to the Black Hand of Bane. But, in addition to those very reasonable reasons, he likes how they look on your body. Grasping, taking, owning... Yours: Your breasts. While he likes all of your body-- how could he not-- he has a fondness for fondling (lol) you, burying his face in them, laving attention upon them. There are nights where he could probably spend hours just licking and sucking, listening to your soft whimpers and sighs above him

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He has random bouts of needing to secure his legacy-- either because Bane has decreed it or because of his own desire for importance and control. When he's in one of these bouts, expect him to only finish inside of you and to want to go multiple rounds until he's satisfied that it's taken. (It never does-- you had a ward placed that prevents pregnancy as soon as you became sexually active. He's also definitely aware of this, which makes his behavior motivated more by fantasy and hypotheticals than any actual desire to get you pregnant. (For now.)) When he's not in one of these moods, he will come wherever he feels in the moment-- be it your breasts, face, inside you, whatever. He has no preference and sees the merits in all of the options-- mostly that you look really good covered in him, but you also look really good dripping him from your cunt. He'll listen to your desires, but only if you ask him very very nicely.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

While you had slept together a few times, it was almost always hurried and predicated on passions akin to hate or frustration or base carnal desires. He knew that you actually desired him and were just playing at being indifferent, but oh, he longed for when you would finally give in and come to him, begging for his attention. And when you finally did, late one night, it was sweet, sweet music to his ears. What he won't tell you is that he was also on the cusp of giving in and seeking you out, equally as desperate for your attention as you were for his.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

In his climb through Baldurian society, he slept with many people. Some for the social gain, some for actual pleasure. But either way he learned exactly how to use his body to get what he wants.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

You, bent over his desk. He's a busy man and this seems to be the easiest way to have you. But he alternates on whether he prefers you face down or up. On one hand, he enjoys pushing your face against the wood and taking you like a bitch in heat. On the other hand, he likes to watch your tits bounce. (Secretly, he also does really like feeling you wrapped around him when he's in bed with you. Feeling your body pressed against his, slick with sweat and trembling under his touch, is so much more satisfying than fucking you against the desk)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

No. That's all.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

look me in the eyes. do I have to say it. look at him.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He can be pretty emotionally removed during sex, especially during the beginning of your love affair (if that's what you want to call it). He doesn't allow himself to be vulnerable around just anyone. It's much easier (and safer) to be detached, seemingly only fueled by lust and base desires. If he pretends it all means nothing to him, he can't be hurt if it goes south. He's still passionate in the moment, don't get me wrong here, but he's not willingly putting any of his true feelings out there. But slowly, he does start to become more vulnerable, which manifests by him becoming needier. He starts to crave your attention, much in the same way he had wanted you to crave his. If he wasn't insatiable before, he certainly is now. He suddenly needs to be touching you always, to feel your skin against his, to hear your voice sighing and moaning in his ears as he takes you. But it still takes a while to have an actual moment that could be considered (genuine) lovemaking instead of fucking.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

During much of the Absolute crisis, he did not have the time, energy, or desire to get off. Sure, the stress relief would probably be beneficial, but he cannot get his mind to be quiet for long enough to actually focus on getting off. Afterwards, he definitely took some time to relieve himself. And, angry as he was at you for ruining his glorious plan of domination, most of his fantasies involved putting you in your place or punishing you for ruining it all and putting him under Bane's scrutiny. The mental image of you, tear stained cheeks and sloppy cunt greedily accepting his cock, was enough to push him over the edge in less than a minute. (But he'll blame that on him being pent up.)

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I am actually limiting myself here because I keep coming up with more so this is in no way an exhaustive list BUT: Breeding. As mentioned earlier, he sometimes gets into weird little moods where he is determined to (hypothetically, for now) knock you up. He knows you have that silly little ward to keep from becoming pregnant and he's okay with it (for now) but like................. I do think he would eventually want children (see the entry for cum for more information lmao) Impact play. He'll spank you, slap your face, smack your cunt, etc etc etc. But he will also accept being hit, he likes it when you're fiesty and he has to wrestle you into submission. (okay fine, jot down brat taming as well.) Corruption. It's less obvious than the others because it isn't so much about his behavior in the bedroom and more about his mentality surrounding what you're doing. Oh, he dreams about you becoming a Banite for him, which would just be the icing on the cake to the whole "corruption" thing. (He is actively trying to get you to accept Bane as your god, something that you try your best to ignore).

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His bed, though it feels like it doesn't happen there that often! But, in his opinion, nothing is better than getting to fuck you into the mattress. Plus it is comfy.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Power/control. He's a Banite, it's their whole thing. The knowledge that you, one of the heroes of Baldur's Gate, are desperate for him, one of the people responsible for the Absolute crisis in the first place, is so intoxicating that if he thinks too hard about it he becomes lightheaded (and probably has to take himself in hand or deal with a very awkward erection). Your submission is delicious to him.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He doesn't want to be restrained. Even on the rare occasion that he's not the one in power, he refuses to give up his bodily autonomy like that. That, of course, isn't to say that he wouldn't indulge you if you wished to be tied up. He would actually like that quite a bit.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He has no preference-- of course, he enjoys receiving and will rarely deny you the privilege of getting to accept his cock into your mouth. Sometimes, he'll have you warm his cock from under his desk, sometimes he'll fuck your mouth like it's just a means for his own pleasure. (He'll also ask that you hold his come in your mouth so he can see and then have you swallow.) But he also really enjoys eating you out. There is hardly anything more satisfying to him than pinning your thighs down and devouring you, feeling your muscles twitch under his fingers as you try to close your legs around his head, hearing your unabashed sounds of pleasure, feeling the tug of your hands in his hair as you practically smother him with your cunt...

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

The first few times, when you both pretended that you were just having sex to blow off steam, he kept a punishing pace. After all, this meant nothing. After all, you hated each other, there was no need for gentleness or sensuality. Even after you both started to admit to yourself that maybe there was something more going on, you kept it rough. You both liked it like that, so there wasn't anything wrong. But then, in a rare moment of vulnerability from the both of you, you took it slow for the first time and actually really explored the other's body. I wouldn't say it was gentle or loving, per se, but it was definitely sensual.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

More often than you'd perhaps like. He's a very busy man, after all, and doesn't always have the time to take you to his bed and have you there. But he'll make sure that you're left satisfied, having quickly learned exactly how to push your buttons to get you to your peak with very little effort on his part.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Ya. Mostly at your expense.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

I'm willfully ignoring his 10 in constitution because I think he has good stamina in the bedroom! Once he stops being so pent up, of course. If you're in his bed, he's the kinda guy who wants to go for multiple rounds to make it worth his while.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Any toys he has, he's made himself. He's probably created some weird things, let's be so real here. (my brain has been stuck on the idea of him creating nipple clamps idk don't look at me)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Somedays its endless. Small touches, lingering glances, offhanded comments, little behaviors that are innocuous to others but maddening to you (gods forbid you eat with him on one of these days, because he will definitely use this to his advantage. Oops, some juice from the fruit he was eating dripped onto his finger, he'll just innocently pop that into his mouth while he just so happens to be staring at you from across the table.) In the actual bedroom, he does enjoy building pressure, taking it slow and watching as you become needier and needier for him. Sometimes, he'll edge you. Sometimes, he'll overstimulate you. Either way, he'll make you beg for a reprieve and happily deliver it once he feels you've earned it.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Enver likes to hear himself talk. And, seeing as you made an alliance with him, there is at least a small chance that you also enjoy his voice (and he knows it). Dirty talk is a staple of sex with him. He'll alternate between praise and degradation, telling you what he's going to do with you and remarking, of course, on how the city's hero is a whore for Banite cock, what would the people say? Besides that, he is unabashed and unrestrained vocally when fucking you. Grunts, groans, an occasional whimper that he would rather you ignored.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

At first, he may seem like he doesn't care/is indifferent if his partner comes but he cares!!!!! He considers it a compliment and a mark of his prowess in bed (and is very smug about having made the Hero of Baldur's Gate come around his cock multiple times). (I will never write a man who doesn't care about a woman's orgasms because I firmly believe that women need to come more and I enjoy reading stories where women get the pleasure they are owed, okay?)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Average size but thick. 👍👍👍

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He's very good at compartmentalizing. During the Absolute crisis, his libido was incredibly low because he simply didn't have time for that. But after... well, it started to pick up again. Especially with you being around him all the time, looking like a walking sex fantasy (he refuses to admit that this is his subjective opinion of you and rather thinks that you're doing it on purpose (you aren't)).

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

The only time you'll see him fall asleep quickly after sex is if you were the one in control for the night. You figure it has something to do with him actually allowing his brain to stop thinking for a little while, or maybe that he feels safe. Other times, he either is up to do more work (you can try to convince him to take a rest, which only works about half of the time) or will lay there with a stupid self-satisfied expression on his face as he waits for you to fall asleep.

[matchadobo]

KIDD; wedding headcanons

warning/s: partial nsfw but no occurrence of the actual thing, super fluff i died and alived

i'll fix the formatting lateeeerr >:) red ones are individual bullets while white ones are subheadings of the previous red one (hope that makes sense)

* when you bring the question to him he'll be like:

* "me? you wanna marry me?" he'd point to himself.

* "yes, silly! who else?!"

* "i-i mean," he'll instantly become red and start fumbling over his words. "i-i was supposed to pop the damn question out..."

* you best bet it'll be a full blown steampunk wedding! he'd want it to be in the victoria but it's also fine with him if you'd want a beach or garden wedding so long as the theme stays. this i what i think he'll be wearing, the aesthetic of the event, and what your gown'll be.

* during preparations, he'd mostly leave it up to you so long as you follow his color palette: red and blacks. but when it comes to foods, he'd be keen on having an attendance while you taste test and choose out stuff.

his and your fits

* before your wedding day, he'd be soooo anxious. i have this thought that when you two are individually out on your bachelor/ette parties, he'd be calling you by the end of it just cuz he can't sleep.

* "it's pretty late, kidd. did your party just finished?"

* "yeah, every one's knocked out of their damn minds. and apparently, i can't fuckin' sleep."

* "hmm, nervous?"

* "like the fuck i am." he'd try to deny it but eventually give in. "i wanna see you before i sleep."

* "but you know the superstition-"

* "fuck that shi-"

* "no! i don't want any bad luck!"

* "luck? baby, we defy all odds, don't we?"

* he'd insist but you'll also insist. so he just settled on an overnight call where you two slept in.

* during the wedding day, you two'll be tired as fuck because the only sleep you guys got was 2-3 hours because of talking and comforting each other until 5 😭. while getting ready, kidd will be more impatient and irritated than usual. but it's just due to the combination of weariness and anxiety. mostly anxiety. he never felt this anxious when it comes to you, he'd always be confident about how you two felt about each other. but right now, all he thinks if he's sure or not. if you're sure with him. eustass kidd never doubts, but he feels so deeply for you he'd never want to hurt you and that brings him to a wall. the people involve with him that day had a hard time working with him because his attitude is extraaa mean 😔

* but when he sees you at the end of the aisle as you donned a dress that looked way too good on you it was insane to him, all his worries left his body through a tear that cascaded down his eye.

* "you crying?" killer nudged kidd, noticing the taller to reach over his breast pocket to fish out the hanky.

* "shut up, you ain't the one doing the marryin'."

* i imagine his vows to reflect the kind of person he is, passionate and brute about it. he'll be soooo poetic it'd surprise you.

* "where do i even start fuck-" you'd giggle along with the audience. "i do lotsa damn declarations but this is makin' me shy, jeez."

* "name," he'd sheepishly look at you. "you are my dream and i honestly curse the seas that i'd only found you nos and not at the time i needed you the most. and now i, for the life of me, can't imagine how i'd live without you."

* "i, eustass kid, will put hands on anyone who mess with my wife, if those fuckers think they're so big, well so am i, aye?! if she cries i'll cry with her, and trust me when i say i will kill any bastard who dares do her wrong, because that's my wife, they better not look at her cuz she's taken, she's mine. got it?"

* "you've learned to love me, an insufferable asshole, in ways i never thought possible. you've seen the worst and the best, the weak and the strong, the ugly and somehow the pretty in me. you make me a better man."

* "you conquered all my fears, seized my pride, and built my strength. you are the reason i became the way i am today. you crawled your way in 'ere and took control over my heart, you little monster."

* "from the start, i haven't exactly been kind to you. i mean, i've been rude, and disrespectful; but you grew on me, you were patient and measured up to my irritated ass... so much that I don't know what happened, you really snuck up on me... so may you forgive me my past dumb mistakes. because even if I am stupid and mean, and I may not show my love properly, I love you and will do anything to give you what you fuckin' deserve. you know that."

* "name is a great woman, one who stands and always fights for what she wants, and I want the honor of being your husband. we'll conquer anything, yeah?"

* "okay i'm very fucking embrassed now so i'll just come out and say it... I need to marry you, not because I love you, not because I like you, but because I have to to... yeah, I said it, I don't like you or love you, i need you in my fucking life."

* man he'd end up crying while saying them. but his voice wouldn't waver, it's eustass kidd come ooooon

* he'd be dramatic and give you the bridal kiss where you kind of hang mid air and he supports your back.

* reception would be firrrreee it'd be an absolute rave! you'd have your wedding dress be modified where you can discard the tulle or some shit to make the dress shorter.

* your guests and dearest friends each made a speech about your craziness with each other

* "kidd was so damn insane for this girl. one time, he asked me if he should get her an otter or dung beetle as a christmas present. bro doesn't even celebrate christmas until she came along!"

* "kidd stood out as one of name's partners, he was the first jackass she fell for that was actually a keeper."

* "i'm telling you, kidd became so self-conscious when he met name! he started worrying if his lipstick was the right shade or if his eyeliner looked neat!"

* "what confuses me was whenever they talked to me about each other, the word 'i hate' always comes first and them being whipped follows after. it was annoying."

* drinking games come after, trivias about the couple and between you two after. and as expected, it was competitive because neither of you wanted to lose and give way 🤣. kidd as a man, will never go easy and let you win tho. he respects you like that.

* but what prompted me to make this hc is the wedding garter tradition 🫦. this will be his favorite part. he'd be very extra tho,

* he'll take off his suit jacket and roll up his sleeves when you two are in front for the act.

* he'd maintain reaaaally strong eye contact and will be feeling himself while you burn red and start fanning yourself from laughing or actually feeling flustered under his gaze.

* he'd get under your dress, have a long whiff of that 🐱 and his breath'll tickle you bc he nasty like that, lick your thigh a little, give the flesh on your hips a squeeze, and drag the garter off with his teeth very very languidly

* he'll be very pouty when it's time to give it to the bestman tho

* then the actual rave comesss! blasting music and lights at the victoria, it didn't seem like a wedding reception. but you and kidd were in the center of it all, dancing with each other the same way you two met in a bar.

* "wanna get out of here?" he whispered with his hands on your hips, bending down to your ear due to the deafening beats.

* "hmm, ain't this familiar?" you giggled.

* "aye. this is the part where you come with me and we kiss at the back."

* "eh? that's different from what i remember. your mean ass was angry at me for stepping on your shoe." you poked at his nose while he laughed subtly.

* "shh shh, we both know how bad that ended. bar got fucked up real good." you two broke out in laughter, reminiscing at old times.

* kidd would inevitably drag you to his quarters, man's hungrryyyyy

* he'd be so desperate to take off your clothes, with how beautiful you look today and how he was deprived of you for a couple of nights

* you'd leave the deck making out, walkign sideways, backwards, u name it

* "it'd be pretty weird if the bride and groom's gone on their reception, right?" you broke out of the kiss.

* "and we don't give a shit about it, don't we?" he'd grin, tugging at your lips

* aaaand stuff thst happens in the honeymoon happened 😏

been in the works foR WAY TOO LONG

[rjthirsty]

Based off the otome game Ikemen Prince, I've created an AU where the princes are (mostly) female, and MC is male. Several character names have been changed to suit their new gender (notes will be provided), and lore has been altered to work with the new setting and my accompanying headcanons. Tags: Angst and Fluff, Violence, Sexual Themes You can find the masterlist for this series here. You can also find the full fanfic on my ao3, along with a full list of tags. The entire fic is roughly 100,000 words through 30 chapters, making it 3.5k words per chapter on average (8-10 pages in a standard novel).

Chapter 12 - Unreasonable (IkePri AU)

Since coming to the palace and taking on the role of Belle, I had had several exhausted nights where sleep engulfed me and I’d wake the following morning from a dreamless rest. Rarely had I felt like I slept soundly; rarely had I been bequeathed with pleasant dreams and awoke feeling energized. Today was one of those rare occasions, and probably the best sleep I had in the last week.

Clink. I blinked up at the ceiling I was starting to get used to seeing, the early morning sun was peeking through the windows in my temporary room, and my thoughts were chasing the fading memory of last night’s dream. It took me a moment to realize that I had been woken by the sound of something plinking against my window until it came again. Tink.

I rolled out of bed and pulled back the curtains to peer outside. It was still early enough that the sun’s rays hadn’t reached the garden yet, but the sky was light enough that I could see Nokto standing there, looking up at my window. She smirked as our eyes met, and lifted her hand in a gesture that told me to come down and meet her.

Hurriedly, I tossed my sleeping clothes on the unmade bed, got dressed, and dashed out of the room to see what it was she wanted. I was glad to see her safe, and it even seemed she was in a good mood. However, this was probably the strangest morning call I’d ever received. No one had ever thrown pebbles at my window and beckoned me into a vibrant rose garden just after dawn– no one had ever thrown pebbles at my window. That was something I had only read about in stories.

I found Nokto sprawled on the outdoor settee, looking for all the world like she was sleeping soundly. Despite how casual and relaxed she looked, I was struck with the image of a ballerina performing a pirouette with the way her arms were gracefully draped away from her body and the way her gown hugged and fluffed in different areas.

She opened her eyes as soon as I came within view, probably because she heard me approaching. She gave me a languid smile and lifted her chin in a silent acknowledgement of my presence.

“It’s a bit early for morning tea…” I said as I made my way around the small table to take a seat on the secondary settee.

“Well, I just got back from that social function,” Nokto drawled, her silky voice as seductive as it had been the night before. “So it’s actually pretty late for me. But good morning to you, too.” 

I set my elbow on the edge of the couch and dropped my chin into my hand, partially covering my mouth with my curled fingers. Giving her as neutral of a stare as I could, I mumbled a good morning. I was still upset. I was still upset at myself, but also at her. She was toying with me last night, and while I was responsible for my own actions and lack of forethought, there’s little doubt she didn’t know something problematic could have cropped up.

I had to stay guarded around her. I couldn’t let her lead me around again.

“Is there a reason we’re holding a secret meeting in the gardens before the rest of the palace wakes up?”

Amusement danced in her crimson eyes as she watched me. “Hmm? Don’t you want to know what happened after you and Leanne fled into the night?” She tilted her head with curiosity, the way I’ve seen her do several times by this point. However, the angle must have been difficult to maintain with the way she was reclining because she stirred, elegantly slipping into a seated position with all the poise and charm you’d expect a well-to-do lady to manage, and then some.

I couldn’t help but watch her movements and note how practiced they must be. Nokto swayed and danced like a delicate flower in a soft breeze; it was almost too perfect and provocative. “Is it going to cost me something?”

She giggled in such an alluring manner that I briefly felt stupid for asking, but I was learning how she worked and I knew nothing was going to be easy or free with her. My eyes followed her hand to her wine-stained lips as she daintily covered her small giggle. She was still playing with me, and I tried even harder to look bored. I don’t think it was working.

“Not this time,” she said with a beguiling smirk.

“Okay, what happened?”

“Oh, it was thrilling, you know.” Nokto’s smirked deepened, her eyes going distant as if to remember the moment, and behind my fingers I chewed on my lip as I waited. “The duke figured out who rescued you, and he was furious. Claimed he wouldn’t rest until he had Leanne’s head on a platter. Mmm, it’s going to be a rough day at the palace.”

I nearly believed it, but she was entirely too calm. While she didn’t seem to spook easily, I remembered how she tensed and tried to extract me from the situation last night. The way she was making an effort for me, practically a stranger to her, told me that she would kick up more of a fuss for her own sister. I slowly pulled in a breath and waited her out.

“Okay, you got me. I would have been most amused if that did actually happen, but no. Nobody figured out who it was. And I doubt that old pervert is going to come looking for you, either, so you don’t have to worry.”

I raised my eyebrows at her choice of title for the duke. “How can you be so sure?”

“Think about it. A duke, hitting on a servant, and then you stole into the night with someone else. He’d probably rather burn in hell than ever admit to anyone he was spurned by a commoner. It’s so pathetic I have to laugh.”

But she didn’t laugh, and I didn’t either. I dropped my elbow from the arm of the bench and sat up, sucking in a deep breath and slowly letting it out. Closing my eyes, I tried to dispel the memories of last night, and the very uncomfortable feelings that accompanied them. When I opened my eyes I started slightly, Nokto had leaned forward to put herself close enough that hushed murmurs would be kept for our ears only.

“So…” she drew out. “Don’t tell me you and Leanne are already…” Her crimson eyes glittered, catching the rays of the morning sun.

I leaned back a little, giving her a side-eyed look. “Already what?”

“You’re a man. She’s a woman. And what beast doesn’t want to pounce when a cute little rabbit appears before them?”

“Wait– There’s so much wrong with that sentence, I don’t even know where to begin.”

Did she just call me a rabbit? Wait– Did she just call me cute? Hang on, that’s not the important part, Emmit.

“You think we’re sleeping together?!” I was so surprised at both the implication and the ease at which she posed the question that my voice went up an octave.

“Really?” She studied me. “She rushed in so quickly to save you, so I was sure I was right. But you’re not, huh? How boring.”

“Wha…” I huffed. First she asked if we were sleeping together, then said we were boring because we weren’t.

What is even with you?

“You don’t have to be sleeping with someone to want to help them. NORMAL people care about others and not only what they can get out of it. We’re not made to live a life based solely on transactional relationships, Nokto.” I furrowed my brow; she had to know this.

Nokto sat back in the settee, her smirk far too devious for my liking.

Oh. You were toying with me. Again.

I let out a quiet exasperated sigh. “Leanne is just kind and thoughtful to everyone, and that’s part of why people adore her. You can’t deny she has a charm that draws others in.”

“Hmm? So her charm is that she’s kind to everyone, is it? Mmm. The way I see it, Leanne’s kindness is cruel.” 

"Cruel? How so?” I wasn’t following where she was going with this. How is someone cruel when they’re as kind as Leanne is? No matter which way I turned it, I couldn’t find a way that being considerate and helpful to others would end up being hurtful.

Nokto studied me again for a moment, her eyes searching mine, and then a fleeting smile touched her lips. “If you fall in love with Leanne, I think you’ll figure that out all on your own.”

“Well, that works out because I’m not here to fall in love, remember? I have a duty to fulfill as Belle.”

Nokto reached up, touching a finger to her bottom lip in a gesture that was more sensuous than thoughtful as she smiled knowingly at me. “Didn’t those books you love so much teach you that love is so primal, so instinctual that sense and reason mean nothing to it? It doesn’t care what your plans are, or why you’re here.”

I had nothing to say to that. I stared at her and I could see that she knew I couldn’t refute it. I licked my lips and drew my bottom lip into my mouth to chew on it as I tried to come up with some way to reassure her that love wasn’t in the story for Leanne and me. I was trying to reassure myself that love wasn’t something that could overtake me– if I denied it enough I could control it.

“Oops, nevermind. I think it’s almost time.” Nokto stood up from the settee and adjusted her shawl around her shoulders, glancing back at me as if asking if I was coming along.

“Huh? Time for what?” I stood immediately and she sauntered off with me at her heels.

“To see Queen Highness. She should be home fairly soon. And you wanted to know why our faction isn’t always reasonable, didn’t you?” She was fairly easy to keep up with in her leisurely pace, and after a few steps I had come to walk beside her.

“Are you saying you’re going to convince her to talk to me?”

“This should make up for me not helping you out last night. I don’t like owing people things.” She glanced in my direction, and for the first time since I met her, I felt like she wasn’t playing a game with me. I still wasn’t sure whether I could trust her or not, but if she was going to give me this opportunity and I didn’t have to travel to a mystery location for a mystery party, I wasn’t going to squander it.

We hadn’t been at the gates long when I heard the distant sound of hoofbeats coming closer. I rolled my shoulders back and set my determination in stone, I had studied all yesterday and I was ready. Or at least I thought I was.

“Thank you, Nokto.”

The sound of the gates opening heralded in Chevalier and Candice, but I barely saw anything behind Chevalier herself. She was the first to enter, and immediately I could see something was very wrong. Chevalier’s white clothes were dyed and spattered with dark red and brown stains, copious amounts of blood covered her from head to toe.

Even at a distance, I could see that nothing she wore was damaged. And as my thoughts started to spin and come back into focus, I realized there was no way she would still be upright if she’d lost that much blood… My stomach churned.

How many people did you have to kill to get that completely drenched in blood?

The princesses slowed to a stop in front of Nokto and me, and the stench of copper and death clung to Chevalier, hitting me hard enough that I felt like I couldn’t draw in air. I didn’t want to breathe in. But I grit my teeth and tried to take small, shallow breaths through my mouth. I could think of nothing else but how to manage my composure and keep myself from gagging.

“What’s this, our very own welcoming committee?” Candice beamed from her brown mare and my eyes hazily tracked towards her.

“Emmit wanted a chance to speak to Queen Highness, so I brought him along, that’s all. But nevermind that, how did you end up looking like that? I doubt blood just came raining down from the sky to drench you.”

Thankfully Nokto was doing all the talking at the moment. I’d have to thank her later, she was extending a kindness even if she didn’t realize it. I was having a problem forming any thought that didn’t involve Chevalier’s current appearance, and everything I had was being put into trying to appear normal in this very abnormal situation.

“We got ahold of some information that Obsidianite soldiers were advancing on our border, you see.” Candice seemed to be speaking for Chevalier, and I briefly wondered if this was the normal occurrence since Nokto made no effort to get Chevalier to speak for herself. “Although, as it turns out, it was just a group of them moving on their own without any orders.” 

Nokto hmphed and spoke with a tinge of annoyance. “Some reckless idiots eager for war, then.”

My gaze moved back to Chevalier. I think I knew what the answer was without asking, but I had to be certain. Against my better judgment, I managed to piece a few words together. “...So what happened to them?”

“Oh, they’re all dead.” Candice said it like talking about the weather, or what she had for breakfast. It was so breezy and unconcerned. “Chev killed them.”

All of them…?

“I wanted to pitch in and help, but she’d dealt with the lot of them before I even had a chance.” She continued. “You’re just too quick for me, Chev! Ahaha!” 

I felt like I was living a nightmare. I didn’t know what was worse, the way Candice was laughing merrily, or how Chevalier made no comment while wearing an impassive stare. I didn’t understand how she could be so calm while soaked in all that blood. I didn’t understand how she was so calm after killing so many people.

Did you really need to kill all of them? Was it that important that they die?

It was very clear at that moment that Chevalier and I were never going to see eye to eye. I was horrified at the thought that she judged this as the best course of action for a rogue group of soldiers.

There had to be another way. And if not, then at least there had to be a reason for this.

I shoved all my personal thoughts to the side, I’d have to deal with them later because at the moment this wasn’t about me and what I felt. This was about Chevalier and the actions she took, and WHY she took those. Whose best interest was in mind in this decision? Was it personal or political? I could feel the tumultuous storm dying down in my head and I latched onto the first theory that came to mind, my voice starting shakily but becoming more even as I went on.

“Did you kill them all because if Obsidian found out that it was you… they could use it against you somehow?”

Chevalier’s ice-cold gaze moved towards me, but it seemed devoid of life and I shivered under that scrutinizing stare. “So you have some brains after all.”

I was right?

“Emmit, didn’t you want to have a little chat with Chev?” Candice piped up, her voice too peppy and pleasant for the situation. “You’d better talk fast, before she leaves.”

As if to emphasize Candice’s point, Chevalier nudged her horse forward.

“Wait, please! Princess Chevalier, I just want to ask you one question. Would you allow me a moment of your time?”

Chevalier’s horse stopped its slow pace, bringing her to a halt only a few steps ahead of where she had been. She didn’t answer me, but I took her withheld withdrawal as a yes. Her icy gaze focused on me again. Surprisingly, that chilly look made it easier to pull myself together as it became my sole focus, I no longer registered the stench that hung in the air, and even her clothes were becoming more distant the longer I looked at her eyes.

“What sort of ruler do you plan to be? How do you intend to lead Rhodolite?”

“A foolish question not even worth answering.” Chevalier turned her eyes from me, readying to depart once again.

“I don’t know, Chev, I think you’re being too dismissive.” Candice’s words seemed to keep Chevalier from leaving. “He’s pretty sharp, when all’s said and done. He’s honest, and open, and surprisingly strong-willed. I’m not sure he’s going to budge until you answer.”

I glanced at Candice and her gaze met mine. The way her eyes danced with amusement reminded me of Nokto’s remarks last night about her being a hedonist that was constantly looking for entertainment, and how she found it with Chevalier.

Oh, right, note to self: Watch for the pitfalls in the gardens.

“If you really don’t want to waste your time, it might be quicker to answer him and get it over with.” She continued and I looked back at Chevalier to see if Candice was working some sort of magic by speaking up for me on my behalf. I saw Chevalier’s jaw tighten a little, then she focused on me once again.

“I aim to be the perfect queen.”

“Perfect how?” Claiming perfection was easier said than done, and it wasn’t truly an answer to my question. I had asked how she intended to steer Rhodolite, ‘perfectly’ was just too vague.

“I will unify this tiny kingdom with all the nations around it, until eventually we are all one nation.”

Suriyel’s lesson about Obsidian attempting world domination flashed through my mind. Was Chevalier claiming the same goal, or did she mean just this continent? And how did one go about doing such a thing with our kingdom’s size? Obsidian had the military power to manage taking over with force, but Rhodolite really only held strategic value to our neighbors, our army was vastly smaller.

However, as impossible of a task as it sounded, somehow I felt that Chevalier could actually manage it. If nothing else, I could see the determination and drive in her to make it happen. She exuded the regal aura of a woman born to rule - a majestic allure so powerful it was almost dizzying. I could understand why people felt driven to follow her, and also why people feared her. She was so far out of reach that it was a little frightening how much potential she clearly had, and how much she could change the world if she so desired.

In an attempt to keep her talking so I could better understand, I continued my questioning. “If you unified all nations into one, you might eventually bring real peace, somewhere in the distant future. But…”

“There’d be many sacrifices along the way. That is what you want to say, isn’t it?”

It was.

I tried not to think about how her white cloak was colored in the blood of enemy soldiers. I tried to avoid considering how empty and inhuman her frosty stare was. I was fighting every internal thought that told me this was wrong and unreasonable and that she had no concern for life as long as her ambitions were accomplished.

“I don’t mind sacrifices.” She answered.

“What? You don’t?”

“It’s the height of conceit to believe any great ambition can be achieved without sacrifices.”

She was right, everything had some sort of sacrifice, and the more grand the ambition, usually the more you’d have to make compromises in other areas. I understood that, but…

When those sacrifices are actual human lives, and lots of them… is the peace we achieve in the end really worth it?

“Don’t you think it’s possible to rule Rhodolite peacefully and keep sacrifices to a minimum? You must have considered the civil unrest that will result from those sacrifices, right? What then?”

“That sounds like the sort of drivel she’d come up with.”

“Who?”

Chevalier didn’t answer. She turned her attention forward once again and urged her horse forwards, leaving the rest of us behind. I stared after her, trying to figure out what it was that led her to this decision for Rhodolite’s future. I could hear Nokto and Candice speaking behind me, but they sounded distant and muted as my own morality fought to make sense of Chevalier’s diametrically different ideals.

I think I understand what Yves was trying to tell me, now. And I understand what Nokto meant when she said their faction sometimes took actions that seemed ‘unreasonable’.

I couldn’t reason this out. I couldn’t put a cost of future happiness on someone’s life. I couldn’t look that far ahead and dismiss the people who existed right now, and the lives they were living in this moment. I didn’t know how I was going to surmount the impossible task of seeing the world from Chevalier’s view. Yet I knew I had to. In order to choose the next ruler of Rhodolite, I had to remain impartial.

But how do I do that when we’re talking about people?

Chevalier strode through the palace, the scent of blood that she carried with her had long since been dismissed from her thoughts and no longer even registered to her. Her eyes narrowed as footsteps sounded from somewhere up ahead. Leanne appeared at the other end of the corridor, her expression calm despite Chevalier’s current appearance.

As the sisters converged in the hallway, they both came to a stop, standing in each other’s way. They said nothing as they stared at each other, neither willing to give an inch in their impromptu battle of preeminence.

“I heard about the attack from Jean.” Leanne spoke first, breaking the strained silence between the two of them. “Knowing you, you didn’t even intend to take Candice, did you?”

“No. Perhaps she mistakenly thought we were going on a pleasure ride.” Chevalier’s tone was dispassionate.

“...Look, I don’t doubt your ability with a sword. I know there’s few people capable of taking you down.” A brief look of concern crossed Leanne’s features before they hardened again. “But stop acting independently. And… try thinking of ways to settle things that don’t involve killing anyone.”

Chevalier appeared unperturbed with Leanne’s command and request. “Will you still be smiling if they cut your head off while you’re thinking of another way?”

“Chevalier.” Leanne’s tone was a warning.

“Our ideologies will never align. All we can do is go our own ways, managing obstacles as we see fit.” Chevalier stepped aside and began to walk past Leanne. She didn’t get more than a few steps before she stopped and turned to look back at her sister. “Black. In return for your drivel, I will tell you something.”

Leanne turned to regard the other woman. “Hmm?”

“Yesterday’s attack was simply a few fools acting independently. But it is clear Obsidian is watching us closely, and that they plan to catch us off our guard.”

“... Right. So they’ll set the trap soon, and hope we walk into it, I guess.”

“Yes. And when that time comes, you won’t be able to hold onto the gentle visage you’ve been showing that man.”

“That man? Did something happen with Emmit?” Leanne glanced the way Chevalier had come from, but no one was within eyesight.

“He’ll learn the truth of you, eventually.” Chevalier’s gaze was mocking as she turned away and continued down the corridor.

Leanne was left alone in the hall, the scent of blood from Chevalier’s presence was her unwelcomed company. She rubbed her hand over her heart as a pained expression twisted her features, then looked down at her hands, losing herself in her own thoughts.

[thenightlymirror]

I, of course, knew about Quaker services from Six Feet Under, and I feel a little embarrassed that I work at a cemetery and I’m basically doing a Disney theme park ride for yuppie spiritual tourism a la prestige TV. But also my great grandfather was a Quaker, organized against the KKK in Wisconsin. I knew about Quakers from studying radical Protestantism in America and joining the American Friends Service Committee (mailing list) after 9/11. So, it wasn’t exactly that.

The Quaker service, or friends meeting as it’s called, has always been the ideal church service in my mind. Quakers are radical egalitarians. I said Sir a few times out of habit (I admit it’s a strange habit. I tend to answer objections to Sir with “I meant no respect.”) They sit silently together until moved by the spirit to speak. The point is to listen.

For me, I have lived here on the North Shore for a year, and learned there were Friends meetings almost immediately, but I’ve never attended because I’d rather get breakfast, I slept too late, or there is no God. That’s the case any given Sunday, to be fair.

But today I went. Mostly because I enjoyed officiating the wedding, and I feel like I would get into a fist fight with Unitarians. My friend woke up dead this week, either that or he killed himself, I don’t have the courage to ask. And I spent Friday night in the ER waiting room because I was suddenly woozy after work and almost fell down, had trouble walking. I stayed for two hours until there was almost a revolt from people who had been waiting four. So I just went home.

Today, I woke up early. Ate breakfast. Had a comfortable window to decide. And went.

I was met at the door and asked to wear a mask. I had one. Lois said she had never been to a service either, and it will be a bit strange and no one will talk, but they will talk after. I said I understood, and thanked her.

I was worried about the talking more than anything.

I’ve spent all month watching Hamas videos with admiration and wonder. They do in fact have that dog in them. When I was 17, and probably for the 13 years after that, I was a radical pacifist. In fact, I’d say it’s just how I’ve always been. A sub. A natural masochist who has loved the lion’s den, and yearned for it from a very young age.

I don’t know that I would describe myself as a pacifist anymore, but the rest remains true.

For me, I feel a calling to be the soul of the room I’m in. To be human and kind. To confront inhumanity directly in my daily life. Bloch’s warm stream of Marxism and whatever radical Quakerism I’ve imagined all my life are not too different. Again, in my mind.

I took a seat on the walnut pews arranged in a circle, democratic. There was a stack of pillow cushions that regulars took from. I sat and stared at the wooden ends of the two pews in front of me that formed my semi-circle, at a certain distance like a spark gap that reminded me of the Mercy Seat.

I was consistently meditating on this gap. That Quaker church is not too different from a room full of teenagers on their cellphones, friends on their laptops stoned on the hot couch, who don’t speak to each other for hours at a time. Quakerism is always two things. It’s the radical religion of Protestant and capitalist introversion. It is also love. It is the most profound and honest method to meet God where he is, in silence, but also in people. And that is the catch.

I can only imagine so many Larry David interactions between people who must be regulars here. Surely one service is profound, but what about this woman Carol who wants to take newcomers into the library. See, Badiou insists that every rupture is named. You have an event and then the truth is prescribed. But I don’t know about that. Every truth procedure is subject to entropy, so what I believe was revealed will be revealed in time as never the revelation itself. Duration, the fullness within silence, is the only substance. And that which is done out of love is necessary and right, always a kind of fumbling experiment but for that first grace. But that journey is the point regardless. The silence is only silence otherwise.

So, I am watching the warm sunlight on wood, but I am also among this “sack of potatoes”. These Protestants. God speaks to me frantically, sometimes kindly. “Various eyes,” he says. I think about how God’s body is a bit like mine. Hideous, astronomically huge, mostly war. Be kind to God’s body. This old thing. “This old thing?” With a question mark? This old thing?

An ambulance siren wails outside and we all listen long to its Doppler disappearance. Gaza is out there, and it’s besieged ambulances. Kindness, kindness. The light colder. I say a prayer for each person I am at war with. Kindness.

A young gay man with a considerable five o’clock shadow whips his arms out like he’s trying to break out of a straight jacket. He’s in a very different place than myself and shocks me out of my prayer to the same God, in which I only hear myself. I think about the God of Job, an edgy guy who creates sea monsters and plagues to amuse himself. What if God is a very chill handsome man with a five o’clock shadow, who isn’t thinking of anything in particular? Sometimes he sits and thinks, and sometimes he just sits, while I imagine infinite montages of suffering and light. His body is beautiful, slim, a little hairy.

I try not to sit too stiffly. Thats too pretentious for what this performance is supposed to be. I see a middle aged man who reads a book, cross-legged across from me. Not a care in the world. It’s just Sunday morning to him.

A woman stands. I should say that there is also some kind of Zoom feed witnessing all this silence at the same time. Elderly faces in prayer on a screen in the room. She stands, emotional, her voice quivering. “I want, I feel I have to remember, this saying from George Fox, that we have to walk this world with kindness and joy.”

And then she sits and then we sit for a little while more and break out into waving at each other from our pews. People shake hands. We go through the church introducing ourselves. A black couple who has been to a service before, but not here. A beautiful young woman named Kat. A gay man named Berkeley. Carol, who will be in the library stealing souls like a spider. Various invitations to potluck. Joy and kindness.

When Carol intercepts me at the entrance, I take it as a challenge and accept. When I get to library, Kat is there and when Carol tries to pin her down, she tells her she’s been a Quaker all her life, to say, please fuck off. I take this as a sign, a permission, a forgiveness. I’ll leave too.

[thegravebelowtheflowers]

Cotcweek23 Day 1:Au

The Grave Below The Flowers:The End Was Here (Prolonge)/A corpse was there

Warning:Swearing, descriptions of a corpse, death, vomiting, child neglect, verbal abuse. If I'm missing any warnings tell me so I can add them.

This is just the first and second chapter to my au, The Grave Below The Flowers on Wattpad. I wanted to make a really darker story cause recently I've gotten into writing darker themes, hed the warnings tho I don't hold back.

Craig inhaled and exhaled, he could do this. It was settled, him, Jp and Kelsey would just say they kicked a ball over the fence and needed to get it back. It will go as planned, not Kelsey breaking the door down and getting screamed at by adults who will probably call the cops.

Craig rang the door bell and let the door be opened.

Oh, never mind it wouldn't go as planned. "Craig?" "Jason, you live here?". Jason sucked in his lip and looked annoyed "Let me guess, you got bit by a mosquito and now you've come  for my help, I told you my patrol was important!".

Craig groaned in annoyance and was close to stomping "Ugh! We didn't get bit!". Damnit, this was supposed to go smoother, "He's gonna get in the way, I just know it...We need to get lore!".

Hearing those words, Jason's expression was less tense. His green eyes soft and a thin smile formed as he prepared to hang on every word. "Oh..Well, then did you just come to hang out...? That's perfect because I just got a new whistle we could try out, guess what song I'm playing!"Jason let his joy burst out his heart as he lifted his whistle that was being hidden under his scarf and collar of his scout uniform.

Jason pressed his lips to his whistle and began blowing in his whistle letting it make its loud sounds, but that only set something off in Craig, anger. He could not focus on the whistle or Jason's attempt at making a friend, but his backyard clouded his mind and manifested his anger towards the blond. "Ah, Jason! We came here cause there's ancient kid stuff in your backyard, and we need to dig it up. No one cares about your whistles!".

Jason let his whistle hang from his lips, sucking in all the excitement he once had now that it was spit on and stomped on by Craig. Sadness crossed his face. Oh, he had annoyed them, didn't he? "I always do this..."Jason thought to himself, thinking back to Eleanor.

He had slept over at Boris's house but had forgotten his phone charger there, Eleanor was heading out but saw Jason about to walk out the door. "Where the hell are you going?"Eleanor asked with her chihuahua in her arm and two others following behind her, her thin almond eyes glaring into him as her hooked nose looked more stabby than usual. He was surprised that Eleanor saw him leaving. She usually focused on her demon dogs.

"I forgot my charger at Boris's house and I need to go get it"He explained "Jason, we told you to see if you left anything yet you said you didn't, now you're trying to run from your responsibilities by running to Boris's house! I told you that I needed you to stay here and feed the dogs. I can't leave now with you out of the house. Your father is working late again, you know this! *Sighs* You are so annoying, you know that?! Now I have to wait for you to come back. This is throwing me off!".

Then, the anger comes back to him. His whistle that meant so much to him being insulted so fast and the thought of them digging up his backyard knowing what's under there -

"Ugh! Then go dig up your own backyard!"Jason shouted, then slammed the door shut in their faces.

Craig stands there pausing for a second before it crashes down on him, "What, the heck?!". Kelsey sighs, moving Craig from where he was standing and getting in his place, "Alright, my turn..."She speaks, raising her sword in front of her and crashing it into Jp's ankle. Jp yelled out in pain, falling to the ground to hold his leg throbbing with pain. "Quick, hide!"Kelsey ordered Craig, pointing to her left for Craig to hide somewhere, anywhere, anywhere where Jason could not see him.

Craig hid by the house waiting for Jason to come out of the house. Soon, Jason opened the door as a response to the doorbell ringing, "I thought I told you-!" "Jason, we need your help! Jp tripped on your stupid, expensive looking brick driveway and he hurt his leg!"Kelsey fished out the lie as Craig watched from the side. Craig stayed hidden as he watched Kelsey extend the lie, Jp sitting on the ground looking hurt and Jason standing there listening concerned.

After Kelsey's lying, Jason was ready to help with no hesitation. "Fear not! A forest scout always helps out, don't worry, I always keep a medical kit tucked in my underwear!".

This was his chance, Craig crept from his hiding spot and made his way into the big house owned by Jason's parents. Craig tip toed in the house, and he saw various paintings, a small framed photo of a tall Asian woman with a hooked nose and long black hair almost touching the floor. Wait, where was Jason? There was only one photo of Jason when he was little sitting unbothered on a table by the doorway. Craig did some more looking and saw up above where the stairs were, on the wall facing the person walking up them was a photo of Jason, only he was a baby and holding him was a blonde pale lady, pale as if she hadn't seen the sun in years. The woman holding him stood tall with pink lipstick popping out like poppin' pebbles with the help of her skin with a man resting his hand on her shoulder, a fiery looking man, his hair red and dark and his hazel eyes framed by black glasses and a birthmark on his right cheek.

"Ah! Can't get distracted, ancient Creek kid stuff!"Craig mentally shouted to himself and picked up the pace on his running to the backyard, he could hear the notebooks calling to him under the rock, surrounded by purple and pink flowers he didn't care to learn the name of.

Craig opened the sliding door, there he saw the rock...The rock covering the notebooks, there it was staring at him. Craig stepped onto the grass and ran to the rock. He was expecting the rock to be heavy due to it's size so he inhaled and exhaled, then moved the rock to the side. Craig paid no mind to the flowers he ruined.

He was greeted with a square hole in the ground. This was it... The moment of truth, he would learn the truth about the capture the flag war. A creek moment of so much running, screaming, sadness, anger, and a broken heart. This was...It-

...

...

It wasn't the notebooks or the vault.

"Oh, oh, oh... Oh my god!"

Craig stood there, legs weak and body ready to give out. Forget this mission, forget history. Craig just wanted to run, run Damnit! Craig gagged but held his stomach and mouth, staring down at the dead woman below him.

There were supposed to be notebooks, a vault holding those notebooks so that the dirt wouldn't get to them! Not... Not...

Not a dead woman under a rock!

"Okay...Okay, breathe"Craig tried telling himself, but the panic was too much for him. His legs shook so much he almost fell into the hole himself, "What is this...? D-Did Jason kill someone...?".

Craig looked down at the dead woman one more time, he analyzed her features from her unwashed and thinning blonde hair and rotting flesh. Suddenly, it came back to him...That woman, the woman lying dead in there was...

The sound of a whistle screamed behind him followed by angry panting.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"Jason screamed, his voice cracking everywhere until it chipped and shattered before him. Craig quickly spun around and saw Jason at the sliding door, his legs shook, face pale, eyes full of shock until the sight crashed down on him and he was filled with rage. "J-Jason, please I can explain but I think you should really-"Craig tried speaking as his voice shook with fear, but Jason wasn't having it.

Jason's teeth clenched and his hands were rounded into fists, he grabbed his frog water gun that was sitting against the purple kiddie pool next to the sliding door drowning the mini toy soldiers. "That's it! You're gonna get soaked!".

All Craig could think to do was run, and that's what he did. He started running and running from Jason, it wasn't as if he had an actual gun but Craig ran like he did anyways.

Soon Craig ran so much he found himself at the creek, he panted and looking up. A treehouse...This wasn't any tree house, but the unstable tree fort. "I'm gonna soak your butt!".

Shit, Craig ran up the treehouse. His fingers digging into the ladder that was helping him climb up. He caught his breath at the top and looked around at the treehouse, he panted and his mind forced itself to flash to the sight of the blonde woman there. Her rotting flesh, her messed up blonde hair and the large gash from the forehead, to temple and finishing on her cheek. Wait, was that a maggot he saw eating her skin?

The memory was too much and he threw up.

Jason searched some more looking around frantically, his eyes searched for Craig as his anger bubbled and exploded like a volcano ready to erupt. "Where is he?!"Jason groaned picking up the pace while looking everywhere he could, soon, his feet took him to the front of a treehouse. If he knew who owned this treehouse he'd write them up for it, but then, from up above in the top of the treehouse he heard gagging and vomit falling from the top. "Got you now..."Jason cletched his water gun avoiding looking at what lend him to finding Craig.

He felt sick, his stomach was empty now but it was useless to Craig to bury the mental image. Maybe he could stay here for a bit, away from...That. "Aha!"Craig heard Jason climb himself up the ladder and on the top of the tree house, shit. Craig let out a shrill scream and started running the opposite direction from Jason, around around, on the wooden top of the treehouse.

"Come back here, stand still! I can't squirt you when you're moving!"Jason shouted chasing after Craig, fuelling himself with his own anger. "Jason, stop! I'm sorry I didn't know...She was buried there! I just wanted to know how the ancient kids of the creek were fighting each other!"Craig pleaded in a vain attempt at mercy "Well maybe some jerk kid showed up at some lonely kid's house like he wanted to play, but really he just wanted to go grave robbing!"Jason said, his breath tense and tears almost in his eyes. His anger blocked his senses and his foot stepped on a loose wood board and he fell through.

His anger was replaced by panic the moment he kept himself fall, he held onto the stable boards he walked on. Soon, Craig met the same fate.

Craig held tightly on the wooden boards looking around frantically for a way of landing, as he looked around his ears let the sound of Jason's whistle pass. "Help! Help! Oh who am I kidding?! Whistles can't save me now!"Jason's, Craig could guess, sobs made Craig surprised he understood him. He looked back at the ladder and got an idea "Jason, when I give the signal I'm gonna need you to jump!".

Jason sniffed but then he was snapped out of it once Craig proposed his idea "What?!". There was no time to think, Craig jumped on the ladder and his weight broke the other wooden boards. The boarder broke one by one and the ladder swung around to Jason "Now!"Craig screamed reaching his hand out for Jason's hand and braced himself for the landing, Craig tightly closed his eyes as the ladder spun and broke, but those tightly shut eyes made him remember what made him vomit eariler.

The mental image made Craig shoot his eyes back out just when he and Jason landed on soft ground. Craig slowly got his white shoes on the green grass but Jason didn't wait a second to jump down from the ladder almost kicking Craig in the head on the ladder, but his anger blocked his intentions and he was already kicking the ground and screaming. "Ugh! I told you, I told you and your friends you couldn't come in my backyard! But nooo! You just had to go behind my back and ruin my own mom's grave?! You hate me! You hate me, you hate me, you hate me, you hate me! I get it, I understand, was ruining the rhododendron I put my blood, sweat and tears to take care of even those my dad would nag and me to 'Stop being a little sissy' But I didn't see him put a single flower on the grave he claimed to have worked so hard on!"Jason screamed and ranted, his lispy voice cracking and breaking with sobs and heavy breaths.

Craig stood there shocked, oh, oh now he had done it. He had crossed the line, he had always thought his past rudeness towards Jason was no big deal or atleast that was what Kelsey said...He needed to make this right, tell him it will be okay and that he had no idea his mother was down there dead. Craig took a few steps towards Jason, whose teeth were gritted, fists securely clenched, messed up blond hair running down his face bearing a crestfallen expression.

When he saw Craig walking towards him his anger spewed out him and he picked up the water gun he had dropped when his foot fell through that wooden board "No! Stay away!".

Jason screams set Craig back a foot, before he knew it Jason was squirting his water gun everywhere. You wouldn't even tell if he had a goal of where he wanted to wet, Craig wasn't upset with he was soaked and dripping with water from his curly black hair to his socks wet and soggy. He let the discomfort sink in, he had deserved this, right? Craig held in his nonexistant protesting to look up at Craig who was fell to his knees to hang his head low using his hands to cover the back of his head and the water gun sitting next to him.

Craig launched his second attempt to walk towards Jason. Jason didn't look up as the only sound from the scene were Jason's loud sobs and Craig's foot steps. When Jason looked up he saw Craig sitting next to him soaking wet, unlike before, all Jason did was sniff and he slowly got up to sit like Craig. The cry helped a lot as the sun dried his tears, Craig turned his head to Jason who still refused to look at him. His running nose and dried tears made Jason uneasy, Craig did not blame him.

Craig, staring off into the shining river in front of them spoke "I'm sorry Jason, but please believe me when I say, I had no idea she was there. I wanted to get the vault I thought was down there with the notebooks. I wanted answers to the capture the flag war, I wanted the vault, I wanted the notebooks, I didn't want to hurt you or anyone. But I did...Jason, I messed up bad, I'm sorry for being so mean to you Jason, I'm sorry for lying to you about the ice cream, I'm sorry for saying no one cared about your whistles that I was too blind to see meant so much to you and I'm sorry for ruining the grave below the flowers...".

Jason let the heartfelt apology sink in, he blinked away tears pricking his eyes and threatening to run down again "I-...I don't know if I forgive you, or at least right now...I did work really hard to plant those flowers, theres no way you could have known she was down there...I know you didn't mean to ruin the grave"Jason sighed wiping the dried tears. Craig smiled once more, "Well, if you don't mind me asking, how did she die? Did you want her to always be with you so your dad buried her in your backyard?".

Jason didn't mind, instead a peck of happiness shined that Craig was slowly starting to care "I don't mind you asking, really...Well, it happened when I was 7, I had gone on this camping trip with the fellow scouts but when the trip was over and I had to head home, I didn't want to go home. So I went straight to the creek with Tony and Boris. When I finally came home I was expecting her to be in her room or making me dinner and my dad came home late as usual. But no, my dad was home early and my mom wasn't anywhere to be seen, he didn't sit me down to put it easily for me he didn't even try to say everything will be okay. He just bluntly said while I was away she was crossing the street and a trunk hit her blah blah...Dragged her by the arms to the backyard, they dug that hole and buried her raw just like that. He didn't care that I was crying in the backyard by a rock for half n' hour, he just blabbered to his coworker over the phone with the photo of her facing down on his work desk. Soon Eleanor showed up, my step mom I mean..."Jason sighed.

Craig hung on every word of Jason, Craig almost threw up again knowing the story. But he wasn't sick of the tableau, he was sick of himself.

[ivoryminitower]

Echoes of Home: 93 - Steve ("requirement creep")

Echoes of Home: FFXIV AU OC – WoLs on Earth

I didn't succeed in making spinach pie.  It was more like spinach cake.

I probably should have just slept.  It would have meant cuddling my magnificent miqo'te and being more awake for pig and cow hunting in the evening.  As it was, I annoyed my magnificent miqo'te and had to drag my ass around to swing an axe at pigs.  She had much more energy than me for picking off cows.

After those couple times I carried her to bed when she overdid the cider I could conceivably have asked her to carry me.  She might even have done it.  And never let me forget.

I think the problem I was having was the wrong kind of butter.  Olive oil would have probably been ideal, but that would be more capital investment on top of the feta since (if I'm reading google right) the nearest olive grove is at least a thousand miles away.

So after a little research I tried clarified butter, which is butter without the milk solids…essentially milk oil.  Recipes online said this involved boiling butter for 45 minutes and then filtering out the solids with four layers of cheesecloth.  I wrote a recipe to render it straight from milk.  Felt more like alchemy than culinary, but it worked.

And it worked to make filo.  It came out nicely flaky and crunchy and contained the spinach properly.  With the proper crust and the toned-down leek content I had something Tsu'na had to admit was good.  It took a little longer to write a spanakopita recipe since it involved so many ingredients, but getting it right means I can mass-produce them.  Given masses of spinach and leek.

I let Hartman know I had something to demo, so he called the customer, who came in around dinner time.  He and the woman sat down at a table, I brought out a beef pif pie and a spinach pie on a tray, and we waited on her verdict.

"...Is this vegan?"

"No, because it uses cheese and butter.  But it is vegetarian.  Is that okay?"

"I think so.  I hear 'vegan' tossed around so much, but I don't think anyone I know's that picky.  I love how flaky this is!"

"Thanks."

"So will you be dressing up?"

"Dressing up?  Like…tuxedos?"

"No, for Halloween."

I felt myself sort of go blank for a moment.  Late October.  The 31st is Monday.  The picnic's on Sunday.  So, sure, Halloween theme.  Which had never occurred to me.

I looked at her.  She looked at me.

"...I was away for way too long."

"Excuse me?"

"Overseas deployment.  We didn't really think too much about the little holidays out there, but still…how the hell could I forget about Halloween?"

She didn't know what to do with this, or with me.  She was looking at me a little like I'd grown another head.  She was there to order food, not a Guy With Issues.  Hartman stayed quiet.

"Sorry.  Costumes.  Sure.  What did you have in mind?"

"Just nothing too scary.  We'll have children there."

"...Skeleton body suits?"

"That sounds fine."

"Okay, and do you want us to bring candy?"

"We'll take care of candy.  Though…I heard you do fruit pies.  Can you have pumpkin pies for dessert?"

Back when I was in government contracting, the term for this was "requirement creep."  The customer always wants more.  Always.  The typical salespuke response to it was, "Not a problem!  It'll just cost this much more!"  The developer's response to the salespuke was often, "Yeah, I can handle that.  Give me another month and…What do you mean, two days?"

In this case I was both the salespuke and the developer.  Hartman waited to see how I'd respond.

"Sure, that shouldn't be a problem.  Though we'll need to adjust the price."

Later, when I discussed it with my co-developer, she had some concerns.

"You want me to do what in two days?"

[smolcuriouskitten]

Now the theme of Rockelle being cranky became a common thing when being around Ben. Between his pranks and their bickering, she found it hard to stay calm with him. Her manager then crossed her by picking the worse possible venue, the catering was a mess, and to top it all off, she hasnt slept in 4 days.

So when he touched the headboard and made a comment about how shes gonna be sleeping alone in the bed, she scrunches her nose. "Dont be ridiculous, you look horrible! You look like you havent slept in days! What is it that you will be working on? We have our itinerary set even if it is horrid." She fusses as she does her room check.

It wasnt the fact of her having to sleep with him in the same bed that pissed her off. It was Onyx purposely playing match maker which made her life harder. Ben was a nice guy (beneath the sarcasm and dry humor) but she wants to date on her own accord, not because her manager felt like 'her music was becoming sob story breakup kind of vibe and it isnt selling.'

It seems like everyone was concerned about her love life except her! This was getting annoying.

When he asks her to call Onyx, she shook her head. "No use in doing that. She will just laugh and say its the last room." She groans, rubbing her hand over her face and throws her hands up in frustration after finishing up. "Im gonna go shower to get my mind off things. Maybe some warm water will soothe my mind, Im getting a headache." She takes out some Pajamas and heads for the restroom.

"Oh and if you have to shit, hold it until Im done." And with that, she shuts the door. After about an hour or so, she finishes up in the shower to see Ben snoozing at the end of the bed. She lets out a sigh, grabbing a magazine in her purse she recieved from a fan and hits him with it. "Wake up, you will ruin your neck!" She fusses, rolling her eyes at his words.

"Stop with the foolishness Ben. Get up and go shower and come to bed, I dont give a shit if you are sleeping in the same bed as me. I would rather you not sleep in that position. Hurry up, its getting late." She stretches and yawns.

When he doesnt move fast enough, she gently grabs his shoulders and helps him up. "The work you were doing was just scribbles! Stop being such a grump, go shower and come to bed!"

"are you kidding me?! out of all of the things that happened today, we have to share a fucking bed?!'

It was cold. It was too fucking early.

Ben laughed once, blandly. No smile on him, no pose, no snare. Just plain mean. Eyes bruised by sleeplessness. Dark and sober, like burnt coffee. 

"No," he said, sawing his ivory knuckles into the cherrywood bedframe, stained and painted to look like mahogany because mahogany was a precious resource in scarcity like singers who pulled their fucking weight. "You're kidding. That's what you do. I'll be working through the night. My head's not touching that pillow."

He seemed pleased with this assessment enough that it resuscitated a trace of his amp-fed rictus. 

Rockelle was cute. Cute when she was mad, and her face wore it well. Thing was, she was a thorn in his side. 

"Call Onyx and have her nick the hotel manager," he advised, smile-less, turning to rifle through a document bag the designer had christened 'The Diplomat,' which Ben thought was fucking hilarious at the time of purchase. Then he snatched up a few papers and a Sharpie. All that body came down on the ikat carpet like a great glob of ink, and he disappeared into his scribblings. 

He needed a shower, but he really seemed intent on working more than anything, recklessly determined to get the songs right, like a hellhound on a hunt, like he didn't need blow as long as he had sound to worry about. 

Evening found Ben zonked out with his legs spread out over his papers, spine against the side rail, and his head and all that black hair tipped back on the sheets. 

He looked like he'd died; a perfectly preserved corpse. Thankfully for Rockelle, he started when she slapped him with a magazine. Unfortunately for them both, this was the only room available because of Paris, France (** living, breathing diplomats soaking up all the suites **). 

"So, sleep in. The. Bed," Ben groaned, swung his head forward, tasted foam in the corners of his mouth. "Pete's sake. Rockelle. Take the fucking bed, please."

@smolcuriouskitten

[kisstuals]

if blue could be happiness

PAIRING. na jaemin x female!reader WORD COUNT. 2.4k CONTAINS. angst, romance, actor!au WARNINGS. implied smut, just the reader being sad and in her head a lot, pretty reflective and retrospective, not much plot more emotions and vibes PLAYLIST. if blue could be happiness - florist | never goodbye - nct dream | liability - lorde NOTE. turns out i love complex female characters and depressing stories and men who fall harder… who is sensing a theme in my works? also im kinda back hahahaha hope everyone has been well xx. i’d say i’ll be more active now but i have a bad track record. that being said, please do give this some love and interact and let me know ur thoughts bc that will motivate me to be more active and post more things!!! would love to chat with you all <3

All you have ever known is being alone, so you can’t help but pull away when Jaemin comes into your life. Too bad he’s here to stay.

NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE TRAVELING, there is a wave of relief that hits you when the plane finally makes its descent in New York City. The tall buildings shimmer against the twilight sky, and even from so far away, you can sense the hustle and bustle of the always-busy city. You can imagine people getting off work after staying late, going into bars for happy hour. They laugh and giggle with their friends with a drink in their hands. New York City is always alive, and that’s why you love being there, as the fervor and excitement almost allows you to forget about how empty you feel all the time.

Despite that, there is a blue stillness around. A cloud of comfort, broken by a brief anticipation.

Your fingers curl around your seatbelt, waiting for the indication that you could finally take it off and leave the plane. It had been a month since you were last home, as you had been in Paris for the shoot of your upcoming movie. There is no doubt that your time there had been lovely, for you participated in every cliche there was for a Parisian tourist… eating too many croissants every day, visiting the Eiffel Tower, getting lost in the Louvre. The actual work you had gone to Paris for also concluded smoothly, but film shoots were never a problem for someone like you who actually enjoys their job.

None of that mattered though. You were aching to finally be home. It’s difficult to ignore your heart that is practically beating out of your chest, but that may be for reasons other than simply arriving back in your favorite city.

Reasons that are called Na Jaemin.

You wonder if he thought about you nearly as much as you did over the past month. And why would you, consider that you were the one who pushed him away. But you keep on wondering this as you leave the plane. He plagues your mind at the baggage claim, when you get into the car waiting for you, and the entire ride home. The buzz of your phone on the leather seat next to you is the only thing that pulls you out of your daze, eyes blindly following whatever buildings you could see in the distance. It was getting late, but New York never slept.

It buzzes again, and you finally blink before reaching for your phone. It’s a text from your sister, who had been house-sitting for you (or, more of an excuse to hang out in the city).

sister: he just showed up.

Your eyebrows furrow. The texts keep coming in

sister: (name). sister: JAEMIN IS HERE sister: when are you getting back?

Movements growing frantic, you quickly look outside for a landmark, realizing you were still pretty far from your apartment. And with the city traffic, it would at least be another hour.

you: WDYM HE’S HERE? you: i won’t be home for a while you: tell him to go wait in my room

She sends you a thumbs up and you sigh, leaning back into your seat to close your eyes in hopes of getting some rest. Your efforts prove to be futile, of course, because he’s all you can think about.

The first time you met him, you were drunk out of your mind. It was Ryujin’s party for actors to gather and mingle if you remembered correctly, but truthfully your memories of that night were pretty foggy. Everyone was dressed nicely and there was expensive liquor lining the countertops, but you ungracefully stumbled into Jaemin, a new and rising actor whose name was everywhere on the tabloids, in a corner somewhere. See, you were normally always on your best behavior, with perfectly styled hair, manicured nails, and hands folded politely. You never tripped over your own feet. You never spoke out of turn. You never did what you weren’t supposed to do, which was a long list considering you were an A-list actress with an image pristine like glass. People looked up to you.

So you had really no explanation for how Jaemin’s hands ended up around your waist, his lips chasing your own. Your body was hot against his, aching for his touch, and when you finally gave in, there was no stopping either of you. His lips moved ferociously against yours, lighting your skin on fire wherever they touched you.

It was no surprise you ended up in his bed later that night, but it was equally less of a surprise that you left the next morning before he could even wake up.

Yet, that was only the beginning. You seemed to run into him everywhere. At parties of mutual friends, you didn’t even realize you shared. At dress fittings, because the stylist for your next movie also happened to be his personal stylist. At the new coffee shop you decided to try out, and then realized was his favorite.

Suddenly, you couldn’t run away anymore. He was going to be in your life, whether you willed for it or not, so you entertained it for a brief minute. So you kissed him at parties and showed up at dress fittings with your hand in his. Every Sunday, you went to his favorite coffee shop together. You went to sleep in his bed and woke up in his arms. His name was linked to yours, and everyone talked about it, but you didn’t care. You had relinquished all control of your life.  

It was great, until it wasn’t. Until he got too close, and you went too far.

That night, there was a downpour in New York City and you retreated back into the comforts of your home. Of the perfect, orderly life you built for yourself.

And the next morning, you left for Paris.

There is a tremble in your fingers as you enter the code to your apartment. Why was he here? You pushed him away, and then he was meant to stay away. People don’t usually try so hard to remain in your life. Probably because of how distant you keep your heart from them. Or maybe that’s why you began doing it in the first place. It’s been so long, you cannot even remember what came first.

Your sister greets you with a worried smile as you enter. She takes your coat from you and you take a moment to set down your belongings, including the large suitcase you had been hauling behind you. The longer you take to go into your room, the longer you have to prepare for whatever is about to happen.

“(Name). He’s been waiting.” Your sister says, looking pointedly at your room door. You’ve dug your toes so far into black boots that you are afraid they may appear at the other end. There is a fleeting touch of comfort on your shoulder before she walks away. With a sigh, you take off your shoes and arrange them neatly on the shoe rack.

In an apartment as big as yours, the walk to your room is shorter than you remember, but you know you cannot delay this any further. Jaemin is definitely aware of your presence, no matter how softly your clothed feet hit the wooden floor of your apartment, so you finally open the door.  

Your heart stills when you see him. He’s sitting at the foot of your bed, wearing a fluffy brown jacket and a hat to match. It’s pretty obvious how he looks out of place against your cold, blue walls.

“Hi.” His smile is cautious like you might run away upon seeing him. His worries are not entirely absurd though, as you do consider backing away. But his eyes are warm, and you remember how much you are aching for his touch. You can’t help but take another step towards him.

“Hi.” Your voice cracks and he notices, but you both choose to ignore it.

“How was Paris?”

“It was good.” The temperature of your room must be near freezing, but somehow your words are colder. Jaemin winces, subtle yet noticeable, and stands up, rubbing his hands on his jeans. You pray that he doesn’t move any closer to you, as then you might actually run away, and somehow, he listens.

The heart is a silly little thing, because you find yourself disappointed at the distance between Jaemin and you, even though this ruin was your doing.

“(Name)...” You’re not sure what he’s going to say, but the deep breath he takes before speaking lets you know that you are not ready to hear it. Not yet.

“Sorry for making you wait. Got stuck in traffic.” You begin moving around the room to straighten up a few things that suddenly looked out of order, even though no one had entered your room while you were gone.

“Oh, uh, it’s okay.” His gaze follows your every move. “I hope your sister wasn’t uncomfortable with me just showing up.”

“No, not uncomfortable. Just surprised that you’re here.” Arranging your lipsticks from the darkest red to the lightest nude seemed like the perfect task at this moment, so you stand in the corner of your room farthest from Jaemin, hovering over your vanity.

He sighs. “Me too.”

This makes you glance back at him, eyebrows raised. “You are… also surprised that you’re here?”

“Yeah, considering how you just left me, why would I want to be here?” Jaemin is always honest, and you appreciate him for that, but you can’t ignore the guilt that pools in your stomach as you finally meet his eyes.

Your lips purse, and if you’re feeling anything, you don’t let it show. “Why are you here, then?”

This is the question that ultimately pushes him over the edge. Jaemin’s expression darkens as he finally closes the distance between you two, stopping just close enough so you could feel his breath against yours.

“You’re seriously asking me this? After everything?” He asks incredulously, his eyes searching for answers in your own

“I told you it was over.”

“Okay, but why?” You don’t answer, but you also don’t step away. “What are you afraid of?” Your lip quivers.

“Stop,” you whisper, as you feel your resolve starting to break. Jaemin takes a step back but keeps going.

“That I’ll break your heart? That I’ll leave you and go away?” He lets out an empty, pained laugh. “Well, isn’t that what you’ve done?”

“Jaemin, I–” You begin to speak, but now it’s his turn to cut you off.

“But despite all that, I still love you.” Your eyes widen, and an unknown, indescribable feeling overtakes your entire being. A single tear escapes you, of guilt, and fear, of love and longing.

The room is silent for a minute, and then another.

You are unsure of what the proper response to his confession should be, but whatever it is, you have messed it up already by waiting so long. You owe him an answer, because of everything you’ve put him through. Because you walked into his life, and then walked out, doing it first as you were afraid he would soon enough. But above all, because you loved him too, despite everything you had tried to convince yourself of.

“I’m sorry.” You aren’t sure how to put all your thoughts in words, so you decide to apologize first, instead. And even though it may be a deflection, you hope he realizes that it’s sincere.

But there’s disbelief in his eyes, and you hate that he doubts you, even though you’ve given him every reason to. “That’s it?”

“You’re right. I left because I wanted to do it before you could.” You continue, providing him with the honesty he deserved from day one. “I was so sure you would, because people always leave anyway, you know? They come into my life, I get used to them, then they leave, and I have to get used to life without them. There’s only so many times you can do that before you simply cannot anymore.”

Jaemin’s expression is unreadable as he considers what you said. “So, the solution was to push me away, even though I told you I wasn’t going anywhere that night?” Now his tone is neutral, and you are unable to figure out if he is mad, upset, or disappointed by your explanation.

“Do you know how many times I’ve been told that?”

You had always known that the film world was a lonely one. Your dad was a producer and your mom was an actress. They fell in love when they were twenty and fell out of love when they were twenty-five, with affairs and scandals galore. That left you and your sister, mere toddlers, stuck in the middle, as they threatened to leave each other. Eventually, they just left you. Despite all that, you chose to go down the same path, as the film world was the only world you knew. And then you went through it all over it again, as friends, boyfriends, managers, and mentors all came into your life, only to leave again. The only person who had stuck around was your sister, but because she had to.

Jaemin was the first person who ever wanted to be in your life, by choice.

“I should’ve been more clear then. If I had told you I loved you that night, would you have stayed?” He asks, his voice breaking.

“I don’t think anything would’ve stopped me that night,” you say quietly, remembering how quickly you booked a flight to Paris, and leaving one week earlier than you were originally supposed to for your shoot.

“And how about now?”

You look into Jaemin’s eyes and see only a love for yourself, despite everything, just as he said. And in that moment, the heaviness that you had been carrying around in your heart for as long as you can remember finally settles.

“I want to stay.” You admit.

“So what’s stopping you?”

The question that has plagued you forever now rises to your lips, in a bout of vulnerability you never saw for yourself. “Please don’t leave me.”

At that, Jaemin is immediately reaching for you, the touch that you had yearned for finally engulfing you. He gently cups your face, pressing his forehead against yours. “I’m here, aren’t I? And, I always will be. I won’t give up on us.” You nod, and return his touch, tugging on the collar of his jacket to pull him closer. “And if you leave, I’ll come after you, again and again, like I did today. I just needed to know that you want this as much as I do.”

“I love you.”

And then you kiss him like you never have before, like blue water in the forests of love. Because if blue could be happiness, that is all you ever want.

© kisstuals, 2023

[cshfvck]

𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 - 𝐈𝐬𝐚𝐚𝐜 𝐱 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐥! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Genre: fluff/comfort

c/w: implied/mentions of trauma, abuse, assault themes

a/n: I wrote this at 3am while I'm the kitchen because a spider was in my bedroom

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Isaac had never been one to be very affectionate, he was a very busy man with work and such. It would often only range from small hugs before he left for work to spooning while you both slept, it was never more than that. This however, it made you feel a little insecure, making your mental health slightly decrease.

You were alone at home, the house was empty. Isaac was working late and your thoughts were bearing down on you, chomping away at you. You were tired, your eye bags showing the extent of worry and stress you felt.

Your mental health had just been plumeting lately with thoughts of how Isaac may leave you. He knew you were often worried and over thought this. Due to your last and past relationships, he always tried to put things right between the two of you, never wanting you to feel left out or alone at all. He was there for you and wanted you to feel loved despite him not showing it very often.

You sighed, the sunset turning into a watercoloured scene, the colours blurred nicely into each other. Yet it felt so lonely. Your hands slowly slid up to your face and hid it, you then felt the warmth of tears burning your palms.

The scene was emotional to anyone who saw it while peering up at the window at you. The apartment was large and had large windows, allowing anyone outside to look up inside. You sighed and looked at your phone, Isaac hadn't messaged yet.

You stood up and wiped away your tears while you crouched and got a start on dinner. It would probably go cold before Isaac got back again. Yet.. you would still cook, the food hot in the pan while you made a simple recipe.

You didn't know if Isaac would even be coming home tonight. The thoughts were making you spiral and you soon became emotional, tears forming again as you cried. Your body slumped to the floor, spoon in hand and your arms still half folded on the counter. You looked so done.

You hadn't even noticed Isaac had walked through the door due to this. As soon as he saw you, his eyes widened and he quickly put down his things and came over. His hand pat your shoulder and he crouched to your level, his hands sliding to your face as he looked at you.

"Oh love.."

He sighed in a soft way, his large hands held your cheeks either side of your face, tracing your scars and such as you cried, your hands angrily and uncontrollably trying to push him away but he didn't care and pulled you in for a hug, he knew you needed it, as soon as he felt your body melt against his.

"I've got you.. I've got you shh shh shh.. Let me take care of you"

You had never felt him be so touchy, it made you almost calm immediately. Hands calmly touched you and lifted your body into his large, muscled arms. He sat down on the sofa and grabbed a blanket, wrapping you up and cuddling you. You let him do whatever he pleased at this point, you craved this comfort.

"Such a good pet for me. There you go, calm.."

He smiled softly and kissed your head, letting you rest in his lap. The rain outside gently hit the windows and added to the comfort, the tv quietly playing an animal documentary that both you and Isaac watched. His hands played with your hair while you came down from your meltdown, soft hair stayed in between his fingers as you both fell asleep.

The image of you both passed out and exhausted on the sofa would never not be cute or funny. Your face was red and teary, yet hidden in Isaacs chest your breath warm. Isaac meanwhile was holding your waist with one hand and one on the back of your head. Neither of you heard his phone ringing later that night. You both deserved this break and Isaac finally having time to touch you (he was most definitely ignoring the call)

Maybe you are made to be loved, you deserve this after everything.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

a/n: AH, I'm so sorry this is so short I have such bad writers block 😭 I'm probably going to write a part 2 where he takes you for a day out

[pinkiee]

mine

pairing: yandere!San x fem!reader

themes: mentions of cheating, manipulation, kidnapping, stalking (?), light mentions of physical and mental abuse, angst, use of profanity, MDNI

wc: 2071 words  (might have gotten carried away)

a/n: sorry this took so long. This is not proofread yet, so apologies for any grammar or spelling mistakes. I used Harin again because I couldn’t think of any new ones, i’m sorry.😞😞

As the door clicked open, a sleepy ____ woke up from the sofa. She looked up to see San, her boyfriend of almost 2 years, walking in, his shirt a mess and hair disheveled. 

“Where were you?” ____ asked coldly.

“I was at work.” 

____ did not believe him one bit. She stood up and walked towards him. As she walked closer, she smelled something. Perfume. Not anything she ever wore or anything San ever wore, not that he wears perfume. Taking a closer look, his crumpled shirt at a bright pink lipstick stain on its collar.

____ could not believe her eyes, she pulled the collar closer to get a better look. San stood there, angered. He still didn’t know that he was wrong, and with his tired state, he couldn’t help but get irritated at ____, he just wanted to sleep now.

“What do you want?” San asked with annoyance in his voice while pushing her away.

“Who?”

San looked at her confused, “huh?”

“Who did you sleep with?” ____ repeated.

“No one. What’s with you. I’m tired, can we talk about this tomorrow?” San replied as he started walking to the bathroom.

“No! You’ve been coming home late, looking like you just fucked someone all the damn time. And now that I caught you with evidence, you want to get irritated with me?!” _____ shouted, pissed at her boyfriend.

“I’m fucking tired ok?! I work all day and when I come back, you’re always busy. At least Harin gave me her attention.” He said while rolling his eyes, letting the name slip on accident.

____ took a step back, hands covering her mouth, “Ha-Harin?”

“Yeah, your beloved bestie.” San replied sarcastically.

A million thoughts went through ____’s head. 

When did it all start? Why? 

Does he still love me?

“Why? Do you still love me?” The question slipped.

San scoffed. “Love? With you, I haven’t felt that in a while with you.”

Tears welled up in ____’s eyes. 

“Then why stay with me? Go with her then. Let’s just end this shit. Fuck you.” _____ walked towards the table, taking the now cold soup, and splashed it all over San, eyes showing both sadness and anger. She then grabbed her things and left, slamming the door loudly.

San groaned at the mess, rolling his eyes, being annoyed at the mess that HE now has to clean.

Fucking annoying bitch. Thank god she’s gone.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ one week later ~ 

San regretted everything. From the day after he had woken up up to now. He regretted every single thing that happened that night. He had slept with Harin a few times and always thought that it was nothing more than just sex, however, after hearing their breakup, Harin immediately threw herself onto San. (some friend she is🙄🙄) After the breakup, spending time with Harin made San realise how much he actually still longed for ____. Realising his mistake, San immediately tried to win ____ back. 

After the events that night, ____ ran towards Harin’s house subconsciously. Seeing her house not far away, she suddenly slowed down. She remembered everything that happened and started running to the next person she knew she could trust, Hongjoong. He was her best friend from work and they were also close outside of work. Hongjoong had tried talking to ___ about his suspicions of Harin but ____ brushed it off. Now, ____ realised how dumb she was. After catching a cab, she called him, still holding in her tears.

Hongjoong took care of her for the next week. She was so depressed she couldn’t even get out of the guest room bed. She was so upset that she just called in sick for that week. Seeing her in that state, Hongjoong made sure to take care of all her needs and always be there for her. Over the week, she improved slightly, just enough to get out of bed and go to work, but not enough to socialise. 

~ operation win ___ back: day one ~

Work was finally over, ____ was tired. She was thankful for Hongjoong always being by her side whenever someone came up to talk to her. She had no energy to socialise and just wanted to work. 

As she left the office building, a familiar person walked up to her. ____ panicked and grabbed onto Hongjoong’s arm.

Seeing this, San’s veins popped. He still walked up to her to hand her a bouquet of her favourite flowers. Noticing _____’s facial expressions, Hongjoong pulled her behind him.

“Dude, she doesn’t want you here. Leave.” 

“This is none of your business. Stay out of this. Did she tell me to leave?” San replied rudely.

���Hongjoong, let’s just go.” ____ mumbled.

“San please leave.” She gathered her courage and looked him in the eye.

Hearing that, San felt defeated. He took the flowers and left.

~ day two ~

The same thing happened again. San waiting for ____ outside her office building, but this time, with her favourite snacks.

____ told him the same thing, despite how much she wanted to hug him and take him back. She knew Hongjoong would not approve and it was all for her own good. 

The week spent with Hongjoong made ____ realise how toxic her relationship with San had gotten over the past few months. Hongjoong helped her feel better and helped her understand that staying away from San was for her own good.

-----

This went on for months. San would always wait outside ____’s office building with some of her favourite things only to see her with Hongjoong happily and be rejected by her.

San started to get irritated. His efforts would always go to the trash or just be eaten. He started to get impatient. And one day he finally snapped.

--------------------------------------------------

It was the same routine again, but this time, ____ had finished work late while Hongjoong had finished slightly earlier. However, Hongjoong decided to go back to the office to fetch ____. (what a good friend)

As usual, San was outside the office building holding ____’s favourite chocolates. He was wondering why she was taking so long, it was already 9:30, ____ normally ends work at 7:00.

As he stood at his usual corner waiting, he saw a familiar car pull up. Hongjoong stepped out of his car as ____ stepped out of the office building. San immediately grabbed her wrist. 

“____, enough is enough. Just come back.” He said, grabbing onto her wrist tighter, that would definitely leave a mark.

____ tried pulling her hand out of his grasp but to no avail, “San... Let me go.” She struggled. 

San then tried dragging her to his car, but was stopped by Hongjoong.

Hongjoong knew that San would be waiting for her and told her beforehand to wait inside and he would come to get her, ensuring her safety.

“Let her go man. You guys are done.” Hongjoong said, grabbing hold of your other wrist.

San’s eyes shifted. They showed anger, hatred and the look of murder. He let go of he hand, dropping the chocolate as well. San’s face darkened.

“Joong!! San, WHAT THE HELL?!?!” ____ screamed.

San’s fist collided with Hongjoong’s face and he fell. ____ quickly knelt down to help him. 

“What? Does he fuck you better?” 

____ couldn’t believe what she was hearing. 

“Are you insane? We BROKE UP! Fuck off San! Go to your beloved Harin.” ____ mocked, referencing his previous argument.

San ignored her and started to beat Hongjoong up. ____ was trying her best to pull her ex away from his friend.

“San! Enough!”

San turned around to face ____, his face showing nothing but insanity. He had lost his sanity over the past few months without her. As she was getting better, he was spiraling down to madness.

San grabbed her wrist tightly and the fallen chocolate and dragged her towards his car. He slammed her onto his car, caging her between his (strong) arms. 

“You’re MINE! You hear that slut. YOU agreed to the break up. I did not”

Looking past his shoulders, ____ saw Hongjoong trying to stand up. She wanted to go and help.

“Leave and I will make sure he never wakes up again.” San threatened.

____ Stood frozen in her spot. San smirked and planted a kiss and her cheek. 

“Now get in the car and we can get back to how we were. Ok, babe?”

___ nodded in fear, getting in the car. As San drove off, she made eye contact with Hongjoong and mouthed a ‘sorry’.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m sorry for the mess babe. I was a little upset when you left.”

The whole room was in a state of chaos, it looked like a hurricane caused it.

Suddenly, _____’s phone rang. She picked it up to see Hongjoong calling here. She wanted to pick it up, when from behind, San took her phone and broke it.

“I’ll get you a new one.” He said nonchalantly.

“Now...” He said lowly while walking towards her, a smirk plastered on his face.

Her back hit a wall and he pinned her to it. He began to kiss her neck and face. When he tried to kiss her lips, she turned her face. He forcefully turned fer face back and kissed her.

Breaking off the kiss, he planted a light kiss onto her cheek. 

“I’ll get your clothes ready. Go take a bath.” He said sweetly.

___ rolled her eyes and walked to the bathroom. San did not like her attitude and pulled her towards him by the wrist.

“Listen here, I don’t like that snappy attitude you have there. Get. Rid. Of. It. Or your little friend will get it. Hear that?”

Not wanting Hongjoong to get hurt again because of her, she complied and thanked San before walking to the bathroom.

--------------------------------------------------

The next day, Hongjoong found out ____ had quit. Or more like San forced her to quit. 

“I can pay for all our expenses baby. You can quit. I’ll give you a comfortable life.” 

It was more of a threat. ____ feared what San would do to her and Hongjoong if she didn’t comply, hence she quit her job.

-----------------------------------------------------

Ever since ____ was kidnapped, she would never be let out of the house. She must always be at home and if she wanted to go out, San must be there. Whenever San got home, he would show her love, while ____ would fake a smile and pretend to be affectionate. And whenever ____ were to act out of place, San would punish her, hit her with his belt, slap her, lock her in the room without food or water, kick her or punch her. Everyday before he left for work, he would remind her why Hongjoong never came to look for her.

“You’re nothing without me baby. Don’t forget, the only person that loves you is me. What happened to that pathetic friend of yours? He doesn’t care, he never tried to find you. Only I care about you.”

Eventually, ____ let his words get to her. She began to believe Hongjoong didn’t actually care for her. She thought only San cared for her.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day, when San returned home. He went to the kitchen to prepare the food he had bought when suddenly he felt someone hug him from behind. Said person hid her face into his back mumbling “I missed you”.

Seeing her actions, San was shocked. He turned around. Seeing her in drowning in his shirt and in her panties, San wanted to fuck her right there and then.

“This is something new. What’s wrong baby.” He hugged back.

____ nuzzled her face into his chest, “I just really missed you.”  

San thought he had finally won her back, but he was cautious. He wanted to test if he really had won her back.

“Hongjoong came to my office today.”

She didn’t seem to be bothered. She continued nuzzling her face into his chest.

“I don’t care about him.” ___ whined.

“I need to now.” She looked up at him with her doe eyes and a desperate look on her face.

Seeing her face, he proceeded to kiss her. Forgetting about dinner, they spent the whole night in their room having fun. San felt bliss seeing how desperate ____ was for him and his dick, both fucking like there was no tomorrow.

One thing was for sure, San had won. 

[peteyprecious616]

Behind the mask

Pairing: Batman x reader

Summary: Somehow the man in the mask was your soulmate. You didn't know anything about him except for late night visits and whispers. But maybe you realized you meant more to him than just run-ins and phone calls.

Word count: ~1.7k

A/N: I saw the new Batman movie and let me just say...Robert Pattinson as Batman. That's all I need to say. But idk what this is but emo Bruce Wayne made me feel something. Also ive never really written a soulmate au so im not sure how it works in general. Also don't read this if you haven't seen the film obviously. It doesn't follow the movie really at all but it has some themes in it from the film. But let me know what you think.

Warnings: Nothing really; just small mentions of violence and late nights lol

I’m trying to keep you safe

I need to stay away

Stay close

Don’t leave

I can’t lose you. I've already lost everyone else.

Small grunts sounded from the metals stairs above you as you cleaned the glass at the bar.

Your eyes hurt from the number of times they rolled at the same run-ins with him.

Your fingers grasped the cup tighter, making your fingers rush white from poor circulation. You couldn’t stand his poor choice of timing.

The small tattoo still stuck permanently to your wrist as you thought about that damn cape. He always knew where to find you.

Protecting you

Saving you

But here you were, still stuck in this god-forsaken city. Pure hatred ran through your veins as you heard Cobblepot's small pleads to the man in the mask to stop. Only looking out for his bar’s reputation.

You chose this job for many reasons.

Money, fun, to spite him.

You were angry at the man that promised you everything and nothing in the shadowed alleyways of your small apartment complex.

How he couldn’t be with you because it was too dangerous but he needed to keep you safe

You were his soulmate.

—

You barely knew him. Small checks that followed months of radio silence were aggravating. His job is his only priority. Hours of examining evidence given to him surprisingly by the commissioner himself.

He barely slept, only eating when Alfred brought it down to him. Even then it was only touched a few times before he went back to work.

He called you sometimes. To make sure you were doing well, and you were okay.

But the less you knew the better.

He sent you small, expensive gifts hoping it would keep you happy. He never asked you to live with him.

You’ve asked him numerous times about it. He always told you, you would be better off.

Crime controlled his life. When he was asleep, he was haunted by his need to fulfill his father’s legacy to keep Gotham running.

You saw him on dark rooftops when you walked home from work. You never told him where you worked, walking different streets and alleyways at night.

You knew that he would tell you to quit.

The iceberg lounge was a criminal hotspot. Surrounded by famous-named Gotham residents and secret mob members that no one knew the names of.

It was where criminals and "good people" were allowed to mingle together. Or to hide and confess their sins to someone to fix them.

So you heard about what kept Batman up at night. The new bad that kept everyone on edge.

He told riddles; that was all you knew.

But that was what his whole life revolved around.

He was so stupid. So ignorant towards his safety. To put his own life at risk constantly for a city that had already fallen to ash.

To sin.

He still puts on a mask to hide his identity from a city that has already ripped his body and soul bare. He was a broken man trying to piece together a broken city;

A ripped cape and scars were gifted to him; the pain that was given to him to keep this city from bleeding out.

Even though it had nothing left to save.

He didn’t care about saving himself or saving the joke of the government that keeps trying to push on the population.

It will get better.

Keep going. Believe in us.

But everyone was greedy for money, for lust.

Only looking out for themselves.

Him only looking out for you

He was too selfish. Surrounded by people filled with it just egged him on.

He just kept getting angrier. Enraged at what this city has become. His father believed in the best of Gotham. He believed the city had good in it.

But all the good that he saw was in you. And only you.

So he kept fighting, even though he already lost the ongoing battle between good and evil that ran through the streets of his beloved home.

His mind ramped with guilt and hatred for letting it fall so quickly. And let you live in it for so long.

Who cared about vengeance? Who cared about anything when it all could just be a lie that spilled from greedy lips. He knew that he could only do so much. Alfred told him many times to hang up the cape. To slow down or leave the city because he couldn’t do any more than he already has.

What his family already tried to do.

Even with money, people had a poor sense of change; To be better people.

Alfred accepted this fact long ago, but you kept him going.

So when he found out you worked under Penguin, he froze. He dropped everything to come to find you.

—

Your bed started to feel foreign as you lay there. Your phone rested upon your chest, almost waiting for it to ring.

You did not have any plans today or tonight. It was a rare occurrence to have time to yourself.

Especially when your life had to revolve around him.

Even though it was never really put together, Batman was like the invisible glue that silently held the city steady. Always taking care of others because it's what the city needed to survive.

Holding himself together, keeping above water was another story. But his disheveled hair that was scattered upon his pillow, while you cuddled up against his bruised body, his mumbling about saving this god-forsaken town for his family, and for you was enough for him.

Your small relief that you gave him at night that made him forget that the world was ending was enough to go back out the next day.

You knew it wasn’t going to last forever.

The way he sacrificed himself to Gotham every night, without a single care in the world. Bruises were hidden by long hair that covered his face when he hid it in the crook of your shoulder.

Hiding from the light that cursed his name, you held his weak body in your arms, waiting for him to crack.

But as he laid still, silent breathes that hit your neck you still held him close. Because even if you didn’t know him, he was still a part of you.

Kisses given to cleaned, shallow cuts; soft brushes over eternal scars were just a normal interaction.

But your soul is bound with his, even if his is lost and a bit dark just like the rest of the city.

He was still yours to have

Forever

—

The last interaction was over three months ago.

Now showing up in this overcrowded bar, looking for you was not something you could handle. You called a fellow worker over to fill your shift as you grabbed your coat from the back of the bar.

You pulled out the collar of your jacket, fixing your hair as you fish for your keys in your pockets. Praying he was busy elsewhere.

But you could feel his presence becoming more familiar. Your body was magnetic towards him. Your mind struggled to give in as you fumbled to find your keys that were sitting in your hand practically.

Eyes pulled to the ground as you turned to the back door, you felt him stand behind you. His black mask doing nothing to hide his worried stare aimed at your body.

You still felt his fingertips caressing your body that night he left. The whispers and promises that still entangled your mind and soul,

I will save this city. I will be back for you.

I need you.

I love you.

"you know you can't save everyone, right?" you muttered as your back facing him.

You always tried to reassure him. He held too much on his shoulders. Uprooting his whole life before his father died and locking it away. He needed to make his father proud. So all the guilt bled through his hands and chest as he fought crime day after day.

He was never good with words. His family; other news reporters; spoke for him. He never wanted to talk to anyone because words hurt. They didn't get the work done.

But you heard him murmur as your hand caught the doorknob,

"I only need to save you."

You sighed as your hand gripped the handle tightly. He couldn't do this to you now.

"You barely know me."

"You're still important to me. Even if I'm not important to you." He said as you felt his chest hovering behind your back.

You knew he was getting anxious. He needed you safe.

"Why should I care?" you questioned as your back hit the door as you turned to see his paint-covered eyes. Your hand shifting to hold the doorknob.

What did he want you to say when he looked you in the eyes and said,

"Because I love you."

"You don't mean that."

You never knew what he meant.

Hiding his emotions, his whole life behind a mask.

If he never told you he was your soulmate, you would never have figured it out. Sometimes you wish you never met him.

But that tattoo on your wrist said otherwise.

you heard the words,

"I can't lose you too," as his lips met your ear. An easy kiss was pressed against your forehead.

He opened the door behind you and got you to your car first.

Before anything

because he knew that even if he lost everyone he cared about; his family, Alfred,

you were still promised to him. You were made for each other. He would never be alone if he had someone that he was meant to spend eternity with.

So he'd fight anyone, go anywhere, get every bruise if it meant he still got you in the end.

So yes he did hide emotions from you, kept to himself these past few months.

Because if the Riddler knew how much he would sacrifice to save you. You would be the first one he'd lose.

Batman didn't have any weaknesses. But Bruce Wayne did.

[subpar-ghoulfriend]

Live In Nanny Pt 2

Villain!All Might x Reader

All Might raising baby Deku but is in desperate need of a nanny (Pt 2). The morning after and basically wayyyy to long so the smut is gonna have to be in pt 3. (word count: a little over 2k)

pt 1 here

TW: Yandere themes, day after dub con, reader is held against their will

You were sore. Your hips, wrists, back, pussy, everything ached. A silky sheet was the only thing covering your bare form. You could feel that you were alone in bed, Toshi's bulkiness was no longer weighing down the mattress. It must be mid morning because light was streaming through the curtains. Maybe if you remained still you could absorb into the mattress. Not only because of your tender body, but because you would prefer to never see your boss again. But speak of the devil. "Are we staying in bed all day?" You groaned. Hating how he worded his question. We. It was condescending, patronizing, and somehow filled you with butterflies. Something was placed on the bed, definitely not heavy enough to be Toshi. And then you realized, not something but a tiny someone. Baby Izuku crawled over to you, babbling, and tapped your sore shoulder. "Morning, Zuzu," You mumbled. Your joints crackled to life and you tightened the covers so you could face the little one. Behind him the clock read 11:00 am. "I need to get dressed." The villain cocked his head, "I tossed your clothes in the laundry do you want me to go get something from your closet?" No, you didn't want him running through your belongings. He would probably make a mess. "Just give me one of your shirts." That provided you enough modesty to get to your room and you were surprised the menace didn't follow. You scrubbed your body raw under the shower, subconsciously punishing yourself for taking pleasure from the night before. You were frustrated. Clean and covered in giant sweat pants and a hoodie you stormed into the living room where Toshi sat watching izuku entertain himself. "I quit." There was a pause. You tried not to look at the child. He would sway your resolve. This didn't have anything to do with him, it was between you and his father. "Alright." Oh. He wasn't going to challenge you? Figures, the man got what he wanted from you. You turned on your heels and rushed back to your room. You didn't own much so it wasn't hard to shove your belongings back into the suitcase. Opening your bedside drawer you froze. Your keys and phone were missing. This was their spot. The dedicated key-and-phone drawer. You check the room once, twice, then Izuku's room, the playroom, the kitchen. "Where are my keys?" You hissed, to hell with the phone you could buy a replacement. "Why would you need those," His voice was taunting. You felt your fists ball up and your nails dug into your palms. You stomped your foot like a frustrated child. "Because I'm leaving, I quit, now give me my keys." "I agreed you can quit, if that's what makes you feel better. I didn't say anything about leaving." The tension could be cut with a knife. He wasn't speaking or moving, he was eerily looming. In the other room Izuku was getting fussy. It knotted your stomach not going to check on him, but you kept your eyes on the villain. Toshinori was the first one to move, he went to check on his son. Clearly you weren't a threat. You could do without the keys, even sacrifice your suitcase. You made it all the way to the front door where you expected him to be, but he wasn't. He was with Izuku. With a twist at the knob the door didn't budge. You tried once more before angrily shaking the door. All Might called for you, "I told you that you aren't leaving. It's a two way security system but feel free to keep trying." When did he install this? You didn't see anything obvious like a box or camera indicating a security system. You could've thrown a fit or tried to break open the window but you had a feeling you wouldn't make it far. "What are you getting at?" You asked, rejoining the father-son duo. "Nothing aside from what we discussed last night in bed," he was making your cheeks burn red. "Making sure we stay a happy family." By the tone of his voice you knew there was no room for discussion. He didn't chastise you for slamming the door your room. He didn't pester you through out the day. He didn't even open your door to tell you he made dinner. He came by later to tell you (through the door) that he left you a plate in case you get hungry. By midnight you were. You tip toed down the hall, peeking into to the nursery to see Izuku fast asleep. You scarfed down the food before crawling back to bed. --- The next day you shuffled out of bed and into Izuku's room where you picked up the quiet but awake baby. You were gentle as you combed through his green curls with your fingers. He was still warm the way babies gets when they sleep. Holding him soothed you. Toshi melted when he saw you two curled up on the couch. He didn't want to ruin the mood so he stayed out of your line of sight for a few more minutes. Finally he entered the threshold of the room, "I'm heading out for the day but I won't be out late." You could've ignored him, but Izuku's grubbing hands were grabbing for his daddy. You had been defeated by the toddler. You weren't a monster. You moved toward your now ex-employer so he could tell his son goodbye. Goodbye before he goes off to commit atrocities. Toshi kissed the child’s chubby cheeks without removing him from your arms. He was too close for comfort. You took an awkward half step back before his huge hand caught your hair. With a tug, your chin jutted forward and he pressed his lips to yours. "Zuku, keep an eye on mommy," Chuckling as he stepped out the front door. Your mind was fuzzy for a moment before looked down at the boy on your hip who was giggling and clapping his hands together. --- The jovial villain was focused at work. He was on edge, quiet and irritable. Eager to return home and help you with his son. All Might wasn't delusional — well at least not entirely. He anticipated that this would be a rough time for you, but you were a good girl, you would adjust.

When he placed that ad to scout for someone to watch Izuku he didn't plan for this. But you were so perfect. He ached for you in a way he never hurt before. Had you been anyone else he would've killed you when you found out his villainous ways. But no, he could never bring himself to harm you. God, you even took the news in stride. Yeah, you weren't thrilled and may have walked out of their lives if he hadn't stopped you; but you weren't trashing his house or treating Izuku any differently.

And you were so pretty underneath him, whimpering while you took his length, your nails digging into the man's shoulders when he released into you. You slept like a rock afterwards, rolling unconsciously into him. Your body sought his comfort, knowing you were safe with him. He just needed to give you time to adjust.

--- It didn't take long for you to stop leaving the room any time he entered. And soon you were back to your normal routine of caring for the child and keeping up with the house. You resumed playing around with Izuku and began reading a ton of books to the boy. You told Toshi that Izuku could even pick which books he wanted you to read. It was nice that you were talking to him again, sometimes making jabs at his life choices and always kept a distance between yourself and him. Izuku was becoming quite the talker, well the babbler because he hasn't said his first word yet. He was figuring it out though. He knew he could say 'Ap-ap' for apple or to get picked up. You were sure he would say his first word any day. --- The three of you were in the living room when it happened. Izuku was watching some baby show, the first "lesson" was colors and the little one did his best to make nonsensical noises. The next subject was family members. Siblings, sister, brother. Parents. Mom, mommy, mama. Dad, daddy, papa. Grandma, grandpa. Aunt, auntie. Uncle. Over and over again until the show was done. Toshi looked at the izuku who was wearing the face of a thinker. He looked at his dad, the little one was trying to get something of importance out. You both cheered for him once he finally got out the word "papa." It was cute to see the man beam with pride, even though he was a villain. The butterflies were breaking out of their cocoons again. --- Toshi didn't get much alone time with his son and he liked it that way. That meant you were with them. But when he did get time with son he worked on teaching the boy that you were the mommy. Mama. And Izuku would try to repeat but hadn’t quite got it. --- You were struggling to maintain your composure in between watching the news and cooking dinner. All Might was robbing a bank. There were hostages. You recognized the location immediately as a bank you passed almost daily before working for Toshinori. Did you know anyone inside? A small part of you worried for the man, probably because you were thinking of him as Izuku's father rather than a villain. You shut the TV off when you heard Izuku start to wake from his nap.

That night you couldn't help but notice a slice on his arm; it was superficial, not even bleeding but enough to draw out the question: Why do you do it? It's easy, he shrugged. All Might never initiated an attack unprovoked nor directed his actions towards helpless civilians. He stole, dabbled in the black market, and made sure everyone knew not to mess with him or anyone in his circle.

You just couldn't understand. When Zuku gets older he will ask questions. All little boys idolize their dads. What if someone tried to hurt the boy? 

The two of you were whisper yelling with each other. You more so than Toshi but he was still running low on patience; it had been a long day, after all. Izuku was picking up on the changing atmosphere, watching you both through furrowed brows, the quiver in his lip worsening. You stopped when you heard the whimpering begin. He was a sensitive child. Maybe you just needed to sleep. Toshi picked up the baby, bouncing Zuku in the way that always prevented tantrums and wails. He kept babbling and you could tell he was doing his best not to cry. You started to head towards your room when a cry broke out for 'mama.' This time it wasn't Toshi “putting you in your place”. This time it was Izuku.

"It's okay, Zuzu," Toshi soothed. "Mommy just needs a minute."

The crushing realization of just how trapped you were knocked the wind out of you. You couldn't leave the house. Toshi was always being too kind and patient. Somehow he managed to teach Izuku that you were his mommy. The most infamous villain had ensnared you and no matter what he wasn’t letting go. You would never be able to convince him to leave you alone and you'd never be able to leave Izuku.

You were tired of stubbornly holding out. Pathetic tears cascaded down your face, gentle and oddly relieving. Izuku practically leapt into your arms. The tot clung to you and his crying calmed down. you turned away, not able to look at the man.

"Are you going to think the worst of me forever?" Toshinori whispered. Maybe? Probably not. It was hard to tell. You didn't want to.

He continued, "I'm a good father, I would never let anyone hurt Izuku. Or you. Sure I don't have a lot of redeeming qualities but there are some."

You were tired of being stuck inside. It wasn't good for Izuku either. You wouldn't admit it but you weren't so sure you would abandon them even if given the chance. You were tired of trying to hate the man behind you. Tired of pretending you didn't fantasize about that night when you were alone in bed. Toshi moved right behind you and you relaxed against his huge chest. He was surprised and hesitant to move in case he frightened you to your senses. He couldn't just stand there though, that would be weird. Two thick arms wrapped around waist. "Tomorrow I wanna take Izuku to the park," You whispered. Toshi was equally defeated.

"Okay."

---

After putting Izuku to bed you made your way down the hall. The shower in Toshinori's bathroom was running. That was fine. You needed a moment to collect your thoughts. If this was going to work without you feeling like a hostage he was going to have to be open to loosing the reigns. 

He was surprised to see you in his room when he exited the bathroom in nothing more than a pair of sweatpants. 

"More fighting?" He cocked an eyebrow. 

You shook your head, "I hate All Might, just as much as I hate every other villain. But when you come home I don't see All Might, I just see Toshinori, Izuku's dad. That's the man I care about and no matter how much I fight it I can't stop caring."

It was hard to keep eye contact with him but you continued, "I want to be with you and Izuku, not with All Might. And I want to be here on my own accord. I want to be able to go out with Izuku and with you. Can't we just try that?" 

You didn't come in here to berate him again? Or to demand to leave? His heart softened as he realized that the person he wanted, wanted him back. You were willing to remain in their lives. 

"I can try that." 

Toshi trained his eyes on your body, fighting every instinct to close the space between. But you moved first, gingerly placing your hand on his shoulder to steady yourself as you straddled his lap.

"Can I sleep in here tonight? I want you to hold me," You whispered.

He nodded and rested his forehead against the crook of your neck. "Is that all you want from me tonight?"

[powerfultenderness]

Your Monster

Rated: Mature

Pairing: gn!Reader/Vigilante

Summary: When things go too far, the only person you can turn to is your ex, who happens to be Vigilante.

Warnings: Reader-centric. Dark themes: Abuse. Hints of suicidal ideation. Hints of manipulation. Light smut, blood play. (just kissing, but blood is involved). 

Word Count: 1751

A/N: Can be read as a sequel to [Worlds Apart], OR as a stand alone.

[Part 2! Try it]

[Masterlist]

[Line Divider]

Logically speaking, Vigilante was a terrifying person. He was dangerous and a true psychopath. He was even more terrifying when you realized his secret identity was so mundane. A nerdy looking busboy with an old car and a tendency to inanely ramble was the last person anyone would expect to be a serial killer. 

Upon finding out who Adrian Chase really was, any sane person would have turned him in. You were sane but also scared, and fear will turn any smart person into an idiot. So you begged him to leave you alone in exchange for keeping his secret. 

You kept your mouth shut and he let you move on. And then you needed him…

Fear will turn any smart person into an idiot. You stayed in the next relationship about five years too long. Sure you tried to leave the man, tried in many different ways, but he always found a way to make you stay. He didn't only convince you to put up with the abuse, he convinced you that you deserved it. 

He was a cop, well liked and well respected. Any attempt to file a report against him ended up swept under the rug. You were told, softly and gently, that you were overreacting. You were lucky to have a man like him as a partner. Sure, lucky. The ER doctors thought so too. Lucky that you were still alive.

Still alive.

…

That's what gave you the idea. How could you have forgotten? Sure Vigilante was terrifying, but… 

Now you were waking up in Adrian’s bed, alone, and wearing his clothes once again. The only thing you had on you when you fled was your phone. Which, given the circumstances, probably wouldn’t be in service for much longer. He let you into his house, again. He listened intently as you explained what happened. Since you had nowhere else to go, he offered to let you stay at his place. 

You showered and he let you borrow some of his clothes, then he patched you up (“Good thing I have a lot of experience with this!”) Like a gentleman he let you sleep in his bed while he slept on his couch. He even told you to lock the door so you’d feel safe. Safe. You couldn’t remember what that felt like. 

“I have to work late tonight.” He told you before he left for work the next afternoon. “Help yourself to anything. Relax and get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

He waved at you. With the exception of when he was treating your wounds, he made a very obvious effort to give you space. It was actually reassuring. 

“Oh! And you should probably turn off your phone so they can’t track you!” He then paused and scrunched up his face in that way you used to find so cute (maybe you still do?). “But, you can turn it back on to call me if you need anything. If you want.” 

You could only offer him a wan smile and a weak, “okay.” 

Then he left you all alone in his home. 

You were used to spending your days alone at home. But they were filled with anxious cleaning and cooking and primping and doing everything possible to make sure nothing set him off. But Adrian had told you to rest and relax and seemed genuine about it. So you helped yourself to a small breakfast, cleaned up the dishes, and went back to sleep. 

Adrain still used the same laundry detergent, still used the same brand of all in one shampoo-conditioner-soap. The familiarity of it was an unexpected comfort that made it easy to fall asleep. Turns out an abused, anxious and fear ridden body will greedily take all the rest it can get when offered. 

It was just past three in the morning when you woke up next. You weren’t sure if you woke because of the twelve hour nap or because of the few thumps you heard from elsewhere in the house. You sat up and realized the noise must have been Adrian trying, and failing, to be quiet in his own kitchen. 

An actual smile crossed your face, the fearsome Vigilante was somehow a terrible sneak. 

You did your best to smooth out the slept in clothes and rub the sleep from your eyes before you quietly made your way to the kitchen.

He was humming. Digging through the fridge and humming something you were pretty sure he was making up on the spot. He was even dancing a little as he turned around, sandwich ingredients in hand. 

“Fuck! I didn’t even hear you wake up!” He dropped the food on the counter, you noticed a bit of red smudged on the bottle of mayo. “Oh, fuck! I mean! I didn’t wake you up, did I? I’m so sorry if I did! You really need to rest-”

You were only half listening to his ramble. He was still in his Vigilante suit, with the exception of his mask, which had been replaced by his simple glasses. He looked so much…more in that suit. It was much more form fitting than his usual wardrobe. Maybe it was the padding on the suit, but he seemed bigger than you remembered. He wasn’t your average lanky nerd when you left him, but still, the man in front of you rambling about the importance of sleep could probably easily, well, kill a man. 

Your eyes locked onto the chevron chest piece of his suit. That’s where the red smudge on the mayo came from. There was a dull sheen splashed across the black and teal, you could tell it was a dark red from the random droplets across the lightest part of his armor. 

Tentatively you reached out, sliding your hand down the chest piece. “Is this…his?”

You looked down at your hand, rubbing the drying sticky blood between your fingers, oddly fascinated with the stain it left on your hands. He’d made you bleed so much, now somewhere out there he was the one bleeding. A part of you wanted to see it. 

Adrian stopped his ramble with a thick swallow. He couldn’t tell what you were thinking. You were just…staring at the blood you wiped off of his suit. Your breath quickened, chest heaving slightly, but other than that you said nothing else. You had left him because you found out he killed people. But, you also asked him to kill the guy so…

“Yea. It’s his.” 

The silence that followed made Adrian regret not changing back into his regular clothes in the car. He was just so hungry by the time he got home and he forgot the bathroom was through the bedroom, which you had locked. He was just going to wash up in the kitchen sink, but he wanted to eat first because he spent all day doing recon and planning  with the team (because if he was going to kill a cop, he had to be extra careful). And he just wished you’d say something else, anything. Except when you finally did say something, he still couldn’t read you!

“...Did he suffer?” 

For a second Adrian thought about lying to you. But then he watched as you continued to smear the blood between your fingers. He might not be able to tell what you were thinking, but at least you didn’t look sad. 

“I made him regret ever touching you. He said he was sorry and begged for his life…Then I really made him suffer.” 

You froze, which made him freeze too, and slowly looked up at him. You stared at him, your eyes searching his for something he wasn’t sure you wanted to see. But he couldn’t hide himself from you, never could, never wanted to in the first place. 

Then a smile started to slowly pull at your lips, reaching your eyes- dilated from fear? Maybe? Maybe not…

“Good.” 

He licked his lips, his hands nervously falling to his hips, “uhm. What?”

This time a giggle ripped it way past your lips, you just found him so cute like that, and you gave him a bright smile. “Thank you.” 

He sighed and relaxed. “Oh! You’re welcome! You know, even though we broke up, if you ever need me to kill someone-” Maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say. Your smile immediately fell and your eyes went wide. 

“Uh, I just mean, I never should have stopped watching over you. I think I saw-” 

“What? Watching over me?” 

“Yea. It was just to-”

“How long?” 

He didn’t miss the breathlessness (panic?) that started to seep into your voice. 

Lying to you was always difficult. “Like everyday? Six months? I kept checking on you every once in a while after that. Then you started dating that jackass but he was a cop so I thought you were safe-”

Yea, so did you.

“And then I stopped following you when you deleted your social media-”

“That was the first time he hit me. I, I didn’t want people to see.” 

“Fuck. Baby, I’m so sorry! I never should have-”

Baby?

Whatever he was going to say next was swallowed as you surged forward and eagerly pressed your lips to his. Your hands were planted on his chest, in the blood of your abusive ex, fingers curling and uncurling in a desperate attempt to feel it against your skin.

After a few heated moments he pulled away, but one of your hands snaked up to the back of his neck, gripping his hair, eliciting a quiet groan from him, to keep him close. 

He opened his mouth, likely to ask if you were thinking clearly. But you cut him off yet again. “Fuck me, Vigilante.” 

His eyes went wide as he sucked in a breath. 

“Are you sure?” His voice was low and gravelly and you could see in his blown eyes, feel in his hard body, that he needed you to say yes.

Your hands moved up his chest to cup his face, one of your thumbs tracing his bottom lip, leaving a smear of blood on his mouth. His blood on Adrian’s pretty pink lips. “Very.” 

He roughly pushed you against the counter, though even in the heat of the moment he was mindful of the bruises that still littered your body, and absolutely devoured you. 

Sure, Vigilante was a terrifyingly dangerous person, but now that you knew you still had his heart, so were you. 

[resident-mercie]

Leon S. Kennedy Smut One-Shot - Working A Case (NSFW).

been thinking about noir leon recently and playing a TON of judgment, so how about a detective agency themed fic? the best of both worlds! <3

-

notices: gn!reader, massage, oral (recieving)

"Hey, Leon! We've got another case." I smiled, taking the notice down from the bulletin board. "Jill's just sending us some more details. She's bringing us a case file in about an hour or so."

Detective Kennedy, feet up on his desk, let out another cloud of tobacco smoke, rising to the ceiling before dissipating again. The whole place reeked of tobacco smoke amd cigarettes, no thanks to Leon's adamance on smoking indoors without any sort of ventilation.

The detective agency business had been pretty slow, recently. Not a lot of call for a set of private eyes currently, so cases were relatively stagnant. All I could really do was clean the place up a little, keep an eye out for any potential cases, and other than that... just wait. We were good at our jobs, sure, but I'd always felt a little shy talking to Detective Kennedy directly.

He was handsome, that was certain. Mousy blonde hair tidily gelled back, grey trousers and waistcoat, and a crimson tie to boot. He just stared on with these icy blue eyes, smoking various cigarettes, tapping the ash lazily into the porcelain ashtray he kept on his desk.

All I could really do was sit on the tanned leather seats while we waited for information on the new case, stretching back into the plush material with a yawn. Detective Kennedy sat up in his desk chair, putting out his cigarette in the grimy ashtray.

"Y'know, we can relax for a little while, if Jill isn't going to be round for an hour or so. Go take a break, or something. Get a bite to eat, at least."

Leon's sudden speech shocked me momentarily, because for the most part, he seemed to be a man of few words. Here he was telling me to take a break? Right before a new case?

"I'm not sure a break before a new case is entirely wise, Kennedy."

"Better to be well rested and prepared for a new case, to be honest. You're free to relax, y'know. You never seem to rest."

Leon was right, although I wouldn't admit it.

"And what makes you say that?"

Kennedy shrugged, standing up, settling in one of the tanned leather seats near where I sat.

"I know you stay here late, y'know. Hell, I know you even stay overnight sometimes. The agency wouldn't be what it is without you. You've put in so much work, and yet you never seem to take a break. You deserve it more than anyone else here, to be entirely honest."

I couldn't help but blush a little at the praise. I'd never heard Detective Kennedy be so talkative before, and it was all praise directed at me.

"Geez, thanks, Leon. It's nice to hear that coming from someone as skilled as yourself."

"Don't mention it."

The agency fell silent again, as I sat in the tan chair, listening to the cacophony of suburban city traffic bubble over. The city never slept, meaning relaxing was out of the question entirely. Might as well just wait for Jill to get here with the files.

"You aren't relaxing, are you? Give yourself a break already."

Leon stood over me, letting out a sigh as I turned to meet his gaze.

"Do I need to give you a lesson in relaxation?"

Those words made me shudder. Granted, it was probably just breathing exercises or something, but I'd had many a thought about Detective Kennedy bending me over his desk and making me submit to his will, or me riding him on one of the tanned leather chairs. Tantalizing thoughts, but I couldn't possibly share them with anyone. Especially Leon, of course.

"Uhh, sure. What's the plan?"

Leon pulled one of the chairs over to where I sat, sitting in front of me, his face plastered with a serious expression as per usual.

"Take a deep breath, m'kay?"

I nodded, deeply inhaling, only to begin sharply coughing from the sheer amount of tobacco smoke that plagued the air in the room.

"You almost had it. Here, like this."

Leon leant closer, deeply inhaling, coaxing me to do the same.

Holding his breath for a few seconds, and then exhaling again. The room felt deafeningly silent as the two of us sat, meeting his gaze – it was tense.

"Feeling a little better now?"

I nodded, unable to break my gaze from Leon. He looked so good.

"Good. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"You like me, right?" Leon coughed out, playing with the fabric on his tie. "I'm just wondering if you'd like to take your relaxation lesson a little further?"

My mouth went dry. Surely he couldn't be insinuating sex, right? In the agency when guests were gonna be here soon?

"We can start with a little massage. Sit in my desk chair, yeah?"

"Of course."

I hopped over to his desk chair, sitting down, clutching my trouser fabric in sheer nervousness. This was just a fantasy before, but holy shit. Having it happen in reality was just as good.

I leant back in the chair, as Leon began his 'massage'. I could feel his fingers digging into my tired muscles, unable to repress a little sigh or groan with each time he hit the right spot. It didn't help that I could feel his breath against my neck, either, struggling to contain myself as his delicate fingers worked.

I began to feel my shirt unbutton, his fingers deftly undoing each button, Leon starting to massage my chest now, placing little kisses against my neck. I couldn't help but whimper, revelling in the fact that my fantasies were coming true.

His fingers traced over my nipples, causing me to pant out in pleasure. Leon got closer to my ear, letting out a breathy whisper.

"You're doing so good at relaxing, my love. How about we go to the next level, hm?"

This time, Leon went under the desk, unzipping my trousers, and pulling them down to my ankles, before helping me shimmy out of my underwear, as well.

I could feel his breath against my sex, as he got closer, gently beginning to massage me with his fingers. He used one hand to trace my inner thigh, tease me, while the other massaged my sex in all the right places. As if that wasn't enough, I couldn't help but arch my back, clapping a hand over my mouth to prevent a moan from escaping, as I felt his tongue beginning to lap at me from underneath the table.

It felt so damn good.

I was a quivering mess under his touch, eyes rolling back into my head as he still continued to lap at me, the relentless reading becoming almost too overstimulating.

His pace became faster, as he realised he'd managed to lap at one of my most sensitive spots, squirming and moaning as he focused on that one particular area with both his tongue and his fingers. I couldn't help but climax now, with the combination of both his mouth and his fingers becoming too much to bear. I arched my back in his seat, trying my best to suppress my moans as I quivered and shook, panting from the exhaustion.

Leon got back up from under the desk and smiled, placing a gentle kiss against my lips.

"See. You can relax. We can do another session after Jill's dropped of those files, 'kay?"

I couldn't wait.

[wtfevenismypage]

Curiosity Killed The Cat

request: request. i’m not sure if you’re comfortable with writing it but it’s worth a try the team is always teasing spencer saying “he’s definitely a virgin” and he’s like “wtf no i’m not” one day they’re like ok well then y/n can see for herself, y/n is like “😳i didn’t sign up for this” and long story short they come back to the bau and the team is like “ ok soooo?” and y/n is like zoning out mumbling “you were wrong”

Warnings: SMUT (Penetration, oral (female recieving), spanking, over-stimulation, choking, degrading kink)

A/N: YO SHIT’S ABOUT TO GO DOWN, I am going to start publishing fics again, but updates will be very very slow. They’ll increase eventually, but for now, they are slow. Love you all!

The night began at work. A late night with the team at the office, stacks of files mounted on all of your desks and you’re all gathered around to keep each other awake.

“Ugh. This is too much work. Seriously. Can’t killers ever take a break?”

You whine, spinning in the swivel chair and holding a file in the air. Morgan chuckles, staring at his own file before speaking.

“I need a drink after this.”

“You and me both Morgs.”

“I told you to stop calling me that Girly.”

You chuckle, stopping your spinning and standing up to stretch. It feels nearly impossible to stay awake. Not necessarily because you’re tired, but you’ve been staring at similar files all day and it’s getting boring and tiring.

 “I’ll do refills on coffee. Gimme your mugs.”

You say, letting them pile different sizes of cups and mugs in your arms. You saunter over to the coffee machine and set them on the counter.

You set the pot for a lot of coffee and quickly dash to Hotch’s office, where him and Rossi are.

“Yo, I’m making coffee, y’all need refills?”

They shake their heads and you shrug, returning to the coffee machine and pouring the coffee in the mugs before adding cream and sugar.

“How much sugar tonight Reid?”

You ask, turning to the tall doctor with a smirk. Luckily, you and your team are the only people left in the bullpen so you can be as loud as you want.

“A lot.”

You snort, grabbing the box of sugar and piling it in, almost emptying it before putting it on the shelf and making a few trips to distribute the coffee.

“Here you are Spencer, sugar with some coffee on the side.”

You chuckle, sitting in your chair again and picking a new file up, only to find that this was the last file.

“Oh. Anyone else wanna give me files? I’m on my last one.”

Morgan and Emily immediately run up to you with files, dropping them on your desk and thanking you. It made you laugh, watching smiles grown on their faces.

“Okay team. We’re almost finished. Just a little bit more now.”

-

-

(SEXUAL THEMES BEYOND THIS POINT)

-

-

A few hours later you, Spencer, Rossi, and Hotch are finished with your stacks, waiting for the other three with Penelope, discussing bars to go to.

“Oooo there’s a new one downtown, we should go there.”

“Can you guys hold back your alcohol talk until tonight please? I just wanna get out of here fast and maybe get lucky tonight.”

Emily pleads, making you and the other women go “oooo” while the men groan.

“Oh boy you are right Em. I haven’t gotten laid in so long. Too long.”

You say, leaning back in your chair and looking at a flabbergasted Penelope.

“How long?”

She asks, staring at you in disbelief. You were a very beautiful woman (Don’t you fucking dare say otherwise) so people often assumed you had sex often. You weren’t private about it either. So what if people judged you? Sex is natural and anyone who says otherwise is selling something.

“Since my first time in middle school. I had a delusion that sex was gonna be this amazing thing and then it was actually terrible. I gave up all hope and never slept with anyone ever again. So you know, it is what it is.”

Everyone looked at you in shock, confused as to how you went your whole life without sex.

“Wait really?”

Morgan questions, his attention dropping from the files to you in an instant. Spencer simply stared at you in disbelief, his expression suddenly making you nervous.

“Y-yeah. I haven't had sex since middle school. It isn’t a big deal.”

You defend, but Penelope wraps an arm around you, pulling you close.

“Oh honey I’m definitely finding you someone to take home.”

“Hey, at least you had your first time, unlike pretty boy over here.”

Morgan teases, messing with Spencer’s hair. Spencer was often teased for being a virgin, but none of you knew what to believe. He said he wasn’t, but refused to tell even Morgan about any of his times.

“How many times do I have to tell you guys, I’m not a virgin!”

“Then tell us about one time.”

Morgan says, a wide smirk on his face at the disheveled state of the genius doctor. Poor Reid just wanted to be left alone but Morgan will not let this go.

“Morgan. Not all of us are public about our sex lives like you bud. Sometimes I wish you were as secretive as Reid. None of us want to hear about how you “got it on”.”

Morgan grimaces, and Spencer looks to you thankfully. 

“C’mon Y/N, you aren’t even a little curious?”

Emily asks from her desk, finally finishing up the last file with JJ. You shrug, playing with your hair briefly.

“Of course I’m super curious, but, unlike you lust goblins, I stand with Hotch and Rossi and don’t want to make him uncomfortable.”

Various groans come from the team as you fist-bump Hotch and Rossi, laughing at their defeat.

-

-

-

-

-

When Morgan finally finishes, you all head to the new bar downtown, smiling at the flashing lights of the dance floor and immediately going to a small table with the rest of the team.

“Oh hells yes! This place is already fun!”

Penelope squeals, waving a worker over to get food. Morgan sits next to you, Emily on your other side and Spencer is next to Morgan and Hotch. 

“Alright my baby’s we are partying until Y/N gets lucky!”

You chuckle at Penelope’s words, raising a glass of water to your lips and taking a big swig of it before looking around. The people in there were definitely attractive, but your mind never swayed from a certain genius.

You meant it when you said you were curious, your mind had always wandered to certain images when you went to sleep, constantly imagining what he would be like.

You’re mind was so easily destroyed by him. All of your thoughts contorted by him. To the point where you can’t imagine sleeping with any of these other people, but you’re scared to ruin your friendship with him by trying to sleep with him.

“Ah guys. I’m fine. I don’t want to sleep with someone I don’t know.”

Morgan groans, nudging your side and making you laugh.

-

-

-

-

-

A few hours later, Spencer has abandoned ship and went to the bathroom, leaving you alone with the rest of the team as you eat some wings.

“Oh my god I know how to figure out if Reid’s a virgin or not!”

Penelope shouts, you look at her excited face, just smirking as she squeals.

“And what is your plan?”

“One of us hooks up with him!”

You all choke on your food and drinks, staring at her in shock.

“I’m sorry what? Did you just say-”

“Actually that’s not a bad idea.”

Hotch cuts you off. You turn to his smirking face in shock. Never in a million years would you have thought that Aaron Hotchner thought one of you sleeping with Reid is a good idea.

“Hotch! Wouldn’t that like, mess with work or something?”

He shrugs, turning to you and smirking.

“What can I say? I’m curious too.”

You sigh, chuckling a bit and shaking your head.

“I say Y/N does it.”

“What?”

“Yeah! Y/N is single and hasn’t gotten laid in a while, it’s perfect!”

“Guys no I-”

“Oh my god you’re right! Plus there’s plenty of sexual tension between the two of them.”

You sigh, knowing they won’t let up until this happens. When the team wants something, they make it happen.

“Okay guys, I didn’t sign up for this, I’m not your test dummy.”

You say, putting your wings down on the plate in front of you and looking around at them all.

“Please girly? Pretty please?”

Morgan begs, clutching your hand tightly and shaking it up and down like a child who wants a toy.

“Y/N, I will make sure you get a raise in your paycheck.”

You stop and think about it for a second.

It could ruin your relationship with him forever, then again, he’s the type to forgive and forget when it comes to his friends.

And if it did work out, then things could be awkward between the two of you for a long time, or worse, he’d regret it. And like all the things he regrets, he’d ignore you until you disappeared.

And the worst you can think of, you take his virginity. Not someone he loves, not his girlfriend or wife, you. His bestfriend and co-worker. 

But still, just that small percentage that everything might go completely right and you might even get a second time with him makes it feels like it might be worth it.

“Okay fine. But I don’t want a raise. If I’m doing this it’s because I want to.”

They all cheer and you just smile, taking a swig of beer before motioning for Morgan to switch seats with you so that when Spencer comes back he’ll be next to you.

Within a few minutes Spencer returns and you feel a heat travel up your neck as you look at him. He turned to you and smiled, sending shivers up your spine as you smiled back.

“Why’d you switch places?”

He asks, you turn to Morgan for help, pleading him to come up with a fake story.

“Emily kept poking her so she told me to switch.”

He says, you practically glare daggers at him, but you go with it, turning back to Spencer and nodding with a smile.

“Yep, so now, you are stuck with me.”

You joke, trying to ease the dusty pink on your cheeks, and nudge him gently in the arm.

In a few minutes you muster up the courage to let your hand travel off of the counter and onto Spencer’s thigh, feeling your entire face go crimson at the feeling of the hard muscle.

He choked on his water briefly before looking at you, his eyebrows furrowing at the sight of your red face. You were trying to hide any emotion you felt out of embarrassment. 

He didn’t say anything though, you’re hand felt warm against the cool breeze of the bar, and he wasn’t opposed to your touch whatsoever.

Everyone continued talking and laughing as your hand inched upwards, and you could feel his body tense up every once in a while, and every time he did, you paused, giving him a moment to push your hand away or tell you to stop, but he didn’t. Not even when you began massaging and squeezing the muscle in your hands.

In fact, he at some point grabbed your hand and positioned it right above his own cock. You weren’t touching it yet, just hovering in slight fear.

He wants this.

You thought before slowly lowering your hand, your eyes widening at the feeling of his semi hard and fairly large cock. What the hell were you getting yourself into?

You glance at him quickly, only to find him staring straight back at you with lust lidded eyes. They were intimidating, almost scary. Usually you would have hated to be on the receiving end of this glare, but in this context, it made you feel like a match had been lit inside of you and you were just left there with a lit match inside of you.

The moment you squeezed your hands just slightly, he abruptly stood up, your hand falling from his crotch. Everyone looks at him in shock as he yanks you up.

“I need to talk to you.”

Is all he says before dragging you away. You only had a split second to turn and see the teams faces, but they were all pretty much the same. 

A shit eating smile with wiggling eyebrows.

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From the moment you were yanked into the private room with Spencer, you were super nervous. It had been years, you were inexperienced. What if he didn’t like it? What if he left because you were bad at it?

He seemed to notice your panicked state and sat you down on the bed, crouching in front of you and taking your hands in his.

“Hey, we don’t have to do this. As much as I would love to prove to you that I really am not a virgin, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. But if you say yes, I will pillage your body to the point that you can’t walk next week.”

Well shit, now you were fully convinced and super turned on. You had thought he was vanilla, or maybe even a bottom, but oh wow you were so wrong.

“Do it.”

Those were the only two words needed for Spencer Reid to pounce, and your plane of vision was knocked over, now laying on your back as he traps you under his body. 

His lips are everywhere. They’re on yours at first, but they travel to your jaw, your neck, and his lengthy fingers work at the buttons on your dress shirt rapidly. 

“Shit Spencer...”

You whine out as he works his hands across your body. They feel like fire against your skin. His lips are wet and messy, kissing and marking your neck for the world to see.

You grip his shirt, tugging at it and opening your mouth to speak, but a moan slips out instead. You shut your eyes in embarrassment as you feel his lips curl upwards on your collarbone, the suckling feeling feeling so warm and tingly.

“What is it baby? You want me to take my shirt off? huh?”

You nod eagerly, chest rising and falling quickly as he raises his body off of yours, and you open your heavy eyes to see him strip off his shirt. He isn’t muscly, but he’s perfect, he looks perfect.

“What do you want baby?”

You stumble over your words, your mind already fuzzy somehow by just his lips.

“You. I want you. Please Spencer I want you.”

 You beg, your hands travelling up his torso and feeling his soft skin. He leans down again, towering over you and smashing his lips on your while his hands work on getting your pants off.

His lips were safe, careful. Not aggressive, and his tongue that tasted the inside of your mouth was warm and loving, savoring your taste as you whined into his.

He was smiling so widely against your skin, his pride booming at the way you reacted to his touch. He never once thought he could get you to react like this.

“You just wanted to see if I was a virgin huh? You curious?”

You nod and shake your head, confused on why you were doing this as well. You wanted this so much it almost hurt, you’ve wanted this since day one. You were also really curious as well though.

“You know what they say.”

He leans into your ear, kissing your neck and biting your ear.

“Curiosity killed the cat.”

You felt his fingers rub at your clothed pussy, your black cloth panties preventing him from fucking you with his fingers. His fingers rub against your clit, the cotton creating friction on it as well.

 “Please Spencer! Please please please!”

You beg, feeling his breath land on your cold skin in a way that felt so raw and rigid. He tugs at your panties, freeing your cunt as a finger rubs against your clit, the bundle of nerves jolting you up.

A loud moan escapes your lips as he continues circling your clit with his long fingers, His lips kissing your open ones.

Two fingers probe into you, scissoring themselves inside of you. You groan into his mouth as they curl upwards into your wet cunt.

“Shit!”

He moves his head between your thighs, licking a wet stripe up your clit, flicking it around as you moan at the sensitive feeling. It feels like electricity lighting up the sensitive nub.

A pressure builds between your legs, a spring coiling in your stomach as he suckles on your clit, fucking you fast with his fingers.

“Spencer! I’m gonna- I’m gonna cum!”

“Do it.”

It hits you like a fiery clap of thunder, the feeling so extreme and hot it almost makes you scream and you can only hope no one heard you over the music outside.

Your breathing is labored as your high dies down, but Spencer doesn’t let up, he flips you over onto your stomach, dragging you to your knees by your hips. 

“Wha-”

You get cut off by your own moan of pain, the tip of his cock slowly being pressed into your tight and wet cunt.

“It’ll get better baby, I’ll go slow, I promise. Just tell me when you want me to go, and when you want me to stop. Okay?”

You nod against the pillow under your face, tears slipping out of the corners of your eyes. A hand lands on your ass, making you yelp at the rough feeling.

“Words baby.”

You moan, palming the sheets with your fists as he pulls out completely, leaving you to feel empty.

“Okay! Please Spencer! Please I need you!”

You could practically feel his pride rolling off of him as he pushes into your sex slowly, filling you up fully. 

It’s a stinging feeling, as if you were being torn apart. But he waits, he let’s you adjust to his girthy size before moving. He really was gentle. You hadn’t expected him to be rough exactly, but he was shockingly gentle and patient.

Eventually, you got used to the feeling, it felt so satisfying as well. The feeling of being so full and warm was so pleasuring, it sent little jolts of pleasure up your spine and out your mouth, making Spencer smirk.

“You’re so tight for me. You so curious you let me fuck you huh? So eager?”

You nod, burying your face into the pillows. You want him to move, to fuck you until you break, but words won’t come out, so you move your hips forwards, letting part of him slip out of you before moving him back into your dripping cunt.

A loud groan escapes both of your lips at the feeling, his hand lands on your ass again, reddening it before taking the hint and thrusting into you carefully.

“Oh... Holy crap!”

You moan out as he continues to clench your hips, surely leaving bruises tomorrow. His thrusts remained slow and deep, but it felt just right. He let his hands wander, travelling up and down your body.

His fingers find your bra, unclipping it and letting it fall off. Your breasts move to the rhythm of his thrusts.

“Faster... Please Spencer faster!”

“What’s that my little slut? You want more? You gonna be a greedy little slut?”

You could feel your cheeks become a dark crimson color, slightly embarrassed at the degrading language he was using, but you nod nonetheless, wanting him to pound into you shamelessly.

“Very well. What a dirty slut wants, she gets.”

His pace quickens suddenly, each thrust into you sharp and hitting into you just right. Loud moans escape both yours and Spencer’s lips, the room becoming sweaty and sticky quickly.

“This want you want you whore? You just want to be fucked like a cheap whore?”

Pointless babbles fall out of your mouth, quiet “Yes” and “I’m your cheap whore” being mumbled as he pounded into from behind. 

A gasp escapes your lips as he lands another smack to your ass, leaving a burning sensation that felt so damn pleasurable after the initial sting.

A familiar pressure builds up between your thighs again, Your legs trembling under the Thunderous feeling of your orgasm washing over your entire body.

You had thought that two orgasms would have been enough for him, but he doesn’t let up, even flipping you back over and thrusting into you harder. 

“S-Spencer!”

You gasp and squirm as his fingers find your sensitive and swollen clit, pinching and rubbing it with his thumb and index finger. It felt like a wave of nerves jolting every bone, your back arching off of the cushion underneath you.

He continues pounding into you mercilessly, admiring the way your tits bounce at his pace, the way you so desperately panted for mercy, but your body betrayed you.

If you really wanted him to get off of you, you would have made it much more clear, you would have been pushing him off more, but you were more just clutching him closer than anything, wriggling your body around.

You couldn’t form any words at this point, chasing after your third orgasm endlessly. You manage to spot the hand that isn’t abusing your clit snake its way up your body, playing and pinching your nipples briefly before wrapping itself around your neck. 

Soft squeezes are delivered to your throat, making you whimper and whine, your own hands reaching his wrist for support, feeling up the vein-y muscles.

“Spencer! Spencer I’m gonna... I’m gonna cum!”

You whimper out, his hand tightens around your throat and his fingers rub your clit faster and harder, abusing the already raw nerves. 

Everything felt so overwhelming. Your body was shaking aggressively each time he rubbed your swollen nub, and the feeling of him pounding into your wet cunt repeatedly slamming your sweet spot mercilessly and choking you out at the same time was so raw and powerful. 

It felt unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. And with a broken moan, you came all over his cock, clenching around him and pushing him over the edge as well. 

He came right inside of you, riding out his high while slowing the rubs delivered to your clit. Your insides were twitching like crazy around his sensitive cock, making him groan while watching your entire body shake.

Soon after you both came, he pulled out, letting his cum drip out of you and onto the bed, pulling your body to sit up.

“Well, did I pass your test?”

You lazily nod at his question. You panted heavily, trying to chase after your breath.

“Holy shit Spencer... That was... Wow.”

He chuckled, grabbing your clothes off of the floor and placing them next to you.

“Need help cleaning up?”

You shook your head, meeting his starstruck eyes for the first time since he choked you. They were so bright, so in awe. 

“Alright, well I’m gonna head home so I don’t have to face the others. See you at work?”

“See ya.”

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Twenty minutes later, Spencer had gone home and you had finished getting all of his cum out of you, and now you were fully dressed, making your way back to the others in a shell shocked state of mind.

Everyone else was trying their hardest not to laugh at the sight of your shaky legs when you stumbled into your chair, red hickies all over your neck. You sat with a blank stare in your eyes, chugging your water.

“So?”

Morgan asked, knowing the answer already but just wanting to hear it anyways.

“You were wrong.”

You managed to mumble out. Everyone broke out laughing, even Hotch and Rossi.

You continued to eat your wings, The memory of what just happened stuck on replay in your brain.

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