#can of worms and i am trying not to go there

[yanderemommabean]

Hey It's been a while

First, I just want to apologize for being gone as long as I have. Things got to a heated point at home, and I had to postpone my move until August while facing some health concerns.

Im finally out of that god forsaken house. But it wasn't easy. They cornered me, and I cried for six hours trying to just hold on until the next day when I could go.

Im so so so fucking sorry I havent been able to be on here. I know you all must have been worried sick, and I should've at least made some update posts, but Ive been stressed as all hell in my new home trying to get insurance figured out so I can get insulin, trying to get a job for rent and Sammy's meds (he got diagnosed with heart worms, and im devastated at how long it's been going on so we're trying like hell to get him better, ive been up days in a row worried sick about it while waiting on job offers and its killing me).

I got to take Pixie, and she got checked out too and I havent heard anything, so that's good! I've been sick and trying to figure everything out, and was just not able to write like ive been wanting to. I had to leave behind one person i really didn't want to, who unfortunately is stuck with my family, and its also been eating at me.

I'm alive, just stressed and sick and trying to heal from abuse and the shock of not being yelled at for being sick and scared and making mistakes.

Again, Im so sorry you guys. I should have tried to update at all, I've just had so much going on and so much sickness. I am so grateful to have you guys at all, and the sweet messages you sent me made me smile when I finally logged in and read them.

I can't guarantee an everyday post like I usually used to do, but I'm going to try and at least be back more than I have been! I love you beans. I'm so sorry for the radio silence. Everything came to a fever pitch and has been nonstop trying to get settled in since I finally got away, which was the end of August. Before that, I was sick, unable to stand up without passing out, and barely eating because the abuse was so bad that staying in my room and starving was better than any interaction. I wont go into too much detail but the abuse was another large part I didn't want to post. Just bed rotting and hoping time would speed up to get me out of there.

Anyway, this was a terrible ramble, I'll hush, but thank you all so much for your messages, and im happy to be back! Even if just a bit at a time for now until im more settled in <3

Much love!

-Mommabean

[hypnoneghoul]

Symbol on the Surface Chapter 4

WC: 2,1k

Relationship: SwissAlps

Tags: Transmasc Swiss, Pregnancy, Food Repulsion, Fluff, Tickling, Panic Attack, Pregnancy Announcement, More Fluff

“Say what?” Mountain asks, confused. “That you are going to be an amazing father.” “I am going to be an amazing father.”

Notes: Tysm to @jimothybarnes for beta reading :3

Chapter 1 here or on AO3.

Read chapter 4 under the cut or on AO3.

Swiss and Mountain leave for their cabin in the woods the next morning. 

The earth ghoul insists on carrying all of their stuff himself, only letting Swiss drag a lightweight cart with food. He may be barely two months pregnant, but Mountain is not willing to risk putting him in any kind of physical distress.

The cabin is quite deep in the forest, but it’s not a terribly long walk. They’re both still tired so it takes them a little longer than usual, but soon enough they make it.

Mountain makes Swiss lay down and do…well, absolutely nothing for most of the day, claiming that the walk itself was enough physical activity for the day. Swiss giggles at his overprotectiveness, but obliges. In the meantime the earth ghoul cleans up a little and then moves on to making dinner for them when it’s starting to get late.

It smells and looks absolutely delicious, but when Mountain sets the plate before his mate, Swiss’ stomach turns unpleasantly.

“Sorry, my love,” Swiss mumbles, “it looks great, but I just…I can’t eat, I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry,” Mountain smiles softly and comes up to cup his mate’s cheek with his hand. “It’s probably all the stress, it’s okay.”

Swiss leans into his touch and closes his eyes. The earth ghoul crouches down to embrace him fully, but gets a better idea after a second. He worms one of his arms under Swiss’ ass and picks him up; he yelps as Mountain stands up and turns to the bed.

“What about your food?” Swiss whines dramatically, stretching the last word out. Mountain gently puts him on the bed on his back and fluffs up the pile of pillows around him.

“I’ll heat it up later,” he shrugs. For a moment the multi ghoul thinks his mate is trying to eat something else—which he would decline this time, not being in the mood—but Mountain moves further and further down until he’s off the bed entirely, kneeling at the foot of it. He takes the fluffy socks Swiss’ is sporting off,  wraps his long fingers around his feet and digs his thumbs in.

“What are you doing?” he giggles as Mountain leans down to kiss the arch of his left foot while massaging it.

“Giving you a foot rub,” he explains bluntly. 

“I can see that, but why? I’m not that pregnant yet.”

“Are you telling me I can’t dote on my mate whenever I feel like it?” The earth ghoul looks up at him with one eyebrow raised comically high, making Swiss snort.

“You look ridiculous!” he laughs. “Like that–that one emoji!”

Mountain can’t hold out for longer and bursts out laughing too. He drops his head and the sight of Swiss’ feet right in front of his face gives him an idea. He changes the heavy rubbing of his thumbs to lighter touches that immediately make the multi ghoul start squirming and squealing.

“No, oh my–no, Mountain, don’t–don’t tickle me!” he yells in between breathy giggles, but Mountain knows he isn’t actually asking him to stop. He knows when to do so; it’s when Swiss’ breathing starts to get a little wheezy and his toes curl.

The earth ghoul crawls up the bed, then, to hover over Swiss and only leans down to kiss him on the tip of his nose. He pulls him down and Mountain falls into the plush bedding right next to him.

They’re quiet for a moment, before Swiss speaks again, “My brain just provided me with an image of you playing with our kits like this.”

Mountain’s chest warms.

“I can’t wait,” he sighs.

“Me neither,” Swiss adds.

After five days in the woods, Mountain and Swiss decide they have rested enough and are ready to go back to the Abbey. They make their way back around midday, spend some time in their room, and then move to the kitchen.

Mountain texted the band’s new group chat earlier, saying that he and Swiss are making dinner this evening and that everyone—including Copia—is invited because there is also going to be an important announcement made.

Cooking side by side effectively took the expecting parents’ minds off of the conversation they are going to have soon, and now as they’re eating with their family they both think—unknowingly—about the same thing.

How these kits couldn’t have been sent into a better pack.

Swiss still doesn’t eat much (they have been told by Omega that food repulsion is common at this stage, so they’re not worried), but enjoys the light conversation with Rain on his left. Meanwhile Mountain, sitting on his right, is talking with Dewdrop over something they both seem quite passionate about.

But soon enough the table is cleared and it’s time for the announcement to be made.

“Okay, uh–so…” Swiss starts, clearing his throat, as he stands up. Mountain does, too, and he puts a hand on the multi ghoul’s waist in a protective and supportive gesture. “There’s something important—but not bad—that we need to tell you because, uhm…well, because you all are our family—you too, Papa—and we want you to know first.”

Some mutters of ‘we appreciate it’ and ‘we’re honored’ can be heard around the table, as well as some content chirps and trills. Swiss opens his mouth again to finally let the words tumble out, but they…don’t.

He looks up at Mountain with pleading eyes and his mate nods, understanding. He takes a deep breath before turning back to his pack and speaking for them both, “Swiss is pregnant, we are going to have kits.”

Jaws drop and it’s dead silent for a moment.

But then it explodes.

Everyone is asking questions, someone is already congratulating them, someone is squealing and then there’s a hand on Swiss’ shoulder and he–he can’t.

Suddenly painfully overwhelmed, he turns with a whine and hides against Mountain’s chest, hands over his ears. His mate wraps his arms around him and growls loud enough to make the whole room shut up.

“Sorry,” Aurora is the one to speak up and apologize for them all.

“One at a time, please,” Mountain asks them before sitting back down with Swiss in his lap. He’s already calming down from the initial panic and he just realizes how…skittish he’s been lately. Probably another pregnant ghoul instinct thing.

Nobody speaks, though, until Papa raises his hand. It’s a little silly, but both Mountain and Swiss appreciate it.

“How far along are you?” Copia asks.

“Around eleven, maybe twelve, weeks,” Swiss answers and the human nods with a light smile.

Rain goes next, “You said kits, as in…multiple?”

“Yeah, there’s three cooking in there,” the multi ghoul chuckles, poking his stomach.

“Woah,” Dewdrop and Sunshine whisper in unison, making a few others laugh.

“When are they gonna come out?” Aeon asks with a curious tilt of his head.

“Omega thinks sometime in February,” Mountain is the one to answer this time.

Cirrus perks up next. “Do you know their elements already?”

“No,” Swiss says, “with a mixture like us two we’re not going to know until they’re born.”

“Will you let me make some cute clothes for them?” Cumulus all but pleads, already so excited at the prospect of making teeny tiny kit clothes.

“Duh,” the multi ghoul laughs. There’s more questions and congratulations and promises of support. A specific one makes the room fall silent again.

“Omega said it’s, uhm…that it’s possible they won’t live,” Swiss admits despite wishing he wouldn’t have to say such a thing.

“That’s why we are only telling you for now,” Mountain adds, “and we don’t want anyone else to know yet.”

The pack nods and promises to keep it between them.

The atmosphere is nice, but a little overwhelming, so Swiss and Mountain decide to say their goodbyes and go to bed early—both exhausted. They skip the shower and jump straight into their nest to curl around each other and fall asleep while purring loudly.

Some time after he’s fallen asleep, Mountain’s eyes snap open.

He sees nothing but darkness.

He looks around frantically and blindly slaps around his bedside table, hoping to light his phone up. It does; it’s three in the morning.

The earth ghoul uses its gentle light to look over at his mate sleeping beside him—curled up a little with his arms around his stomach; a protective position a pregnant ghoul would usually take in the Pit. It’s actually amazing how their hellish instincts surface in moments like these.

Mountain wants to smile, but instead something unpleasant makes his stomach turn and suddenly he remembers why he woke up. It was some strange dream, he doesn’t remember any details, but it left him shaking with anxiety.

He feels a panic attack incoming and crawls out of bed not to disturb Swiss. The earth ghoul leaves their bedroom and makes his way to the common room to get some cold water. 

Mountain doesn’t even bother to turn on the light, operating on autopilot until he’s leaning against the counter with a glass of water in hand. He sips it slowly and breathes deeply in between, trying to push away the panic that’s beginning to swallow him whole. The earth ghoul slides down to sit on the ground and puts his head in between his knees, still breathing in and out.

“Mount?”

The earth ghoul jumps, dropping his glass on the floor. Thankfully it’s empty already and the distance from his hand to the ground isn’t especially big. “Lucifer, you scared me!” 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to,” Aether chuckles. He must be coming back or leaving for his infirmary shift—Mountain isn’t sure which. “What are you even doing here at this hour, are you okay?”

“Woke up and needed to get some water,” the earth ghoul shrugs, but his thoughts do not stop spiraling. Aether will sense that soon enough. “Had a…uh, a dream.”

“Not a good one, I assume?”

Mountain shakes his head. “I–this is so scary, I’m–I’m not cut out to be a–a father. A father, Aether!”

“But you always wanted to have kits,” the quintessence ghoul reminds him, “and I’ve known you for long enough—and have seen you interact with the Siblings’ children—to be absolutely sure you will be a great dad.”

Mountain grimaces and drops his head between his knees again. “But what if I won’t? What about Swiss, then? What about the kits? There’s going to be three.”

Aether doesn’t reply—he only sighs and comes over to sit next to the other.

“If they even survive…” the earth ghoul adds in a quiet voice.

“Hey, no,” Aether stops him right away, “don’t go there. They’ll be fine. You will be fine. I can only imagine how scary that is, but I know that this is a dream come true for you, Mount.”

“Well…yeah,” he admits, “it is.”

“Exactly! Stress is valid, but you can’t doubt yourself or your mate right now. I’ve already told you, you are going to be amazing parents.”

Mountain lets out a shaky breath and nods, acknowledging Aether’s words. He’s right and it’s not only a dream come true, but also a quite literal miracle. A miracle granted just to Swiss and Mountain.

“Okay,” he says after a moment. “Okay, I’m–I’m good. Thank you, Aether.”

The other pats him on the back before standing up and extending a hand to hoist him up, too. “Anytime. And I mean it. We’re a pack and you are definitely going to need all the help you can get once these three little demons pop out of Swiss.”

Mountain chuckles despite the…slightly worrying implication, “Yeah, we will.”

“Alright, now, go back to your mate,” Aether tells him. “Don’t let him doubt your decision.”

“I won’t.” The earth ghoul puts away his glass and turns to the door.

“Now say it for me.”

“Say what?” he asks, confused.

“That you are going to be an amazing father.” Aether grins.

Mountain shakes his head with a light laugh, “I am going to be an amazing father.”

“Atta boy,” Aether praises and leaves. The other switches off the light, that he hasn’t even noticed was on now, and follows, albeit in a different direction.

As he gets back to their room and snuggles against Swiss again, he mutters the words to himself one more time “I am going to be an amazing father.”

Taglist: @arkeusruin @skele-bunny @everybodyshusband @ratsummer @jazz-bazz @mac-and-thefox @karmicbias @wine-irytatus

[arsonisticscholar]

Ok have we never thought about the fact that since lbh exists and is canotically able to have kids with both demons and humans, that demons and humans are the same species?

Ok hi, someone who is unironically interested in reproductive biology in the scientific way not as an innuendo, am going to explain how with the information available to me, I believe that modern day scientists would classify demons as the same species as humans

We all know that different species emerge through evolution, and that occurs through genetic isolation and natural selection and all that jazz, NOT through breeding between species

Now, how does a successful breeding work? There are a few steps that have to be taken in order to create life through sexual reproduction

First, obviously, sex. The actual act has to be possible for the species. A worm can’t reproduce with a cow simply because it’s sperm wouldn’t be able to even reach any zones where it could have an effect and they reproduce so differently that it doesn’t matter

Now say a cat and a similarly sized dog try to reproduce. Ok, the sperm might make it into the hole, but does it survive to make it to the egg? Not likely. Each species has specific and delicate environments to house specific and delicate sperm and if even one little chemical is too much or too little, all of the sperm may die before making it to any eggs

Now we get to the part we learn about in highschool biology where mitosis makes my toes and meiosis makes me or whatever saying y’all learned to memorize that but in case you forgot, the whole evolutionary point of sexual reproduction was genetic variety, so being able to swap chromosomes during meiosis is essential to actually making the baby. Different species of animals have different traits, so they have different numbers of chromosomes. So even if a baby is made, it would not necessarily have all of the traits it needs to survive to adulthood.

There are cases like mules where the act of sex is successful, the reproductive biome is just close enough that sperm can successfully fertilize, and the number of chromosomes is just one off from the necessary number to the point where these animals can successfully and relatively healthily survive to adulthood.

The thing is, since the parent species are not the same, they don’t have the same chromosomes. Meaning the mule cannot reproduce with either of its respective species due to not having sufficient chromosomes. Therefore it is not a separate species and is considered a hybrid.

With Luo Binghe, it is stated that in pidw he is able to reproduce with both demons and humans successfully. This means that a) sex works (but we know that already) b) sperm can survive both species bodies and c) he has the correct number and type of chromosomes for both humans and demons

The only thing this means is that humans and demons have the same genetic makeup

It could be similar to how dog breeds work where they have vastly different features but are still able to interbreed with each other and are considered the same species

One might say oh but what about the southern demons most of them are basically animals- DID YOU FORGET ABOUT ZZL!?!?

He is half snake demon half heavenly demon and although he doesn’t have any kids, it is never once implied that he is sterile and that the complications between his parents was more of a cultural difference than a worry about intermingling species

Which also implies that humans can reproduce with the more animalistic demons as well

I hesitate to compare demons vs humans with human ethnicities on earth since it goes a little further than skin tone and hair texture but I think the dog breeds is a good comparison

Tldr demons and humans can have kids that are fertile therefore lbh is a dog breed mix

[theinfinitedivides]

i'm going to say it. i have to say it bc otherwise i will sit there and seethe about it and we don't want that but. ykw Jang Hyun said this and we kind of got it but not exactly so after the sh*t that just went down let me put it in layman's terms—this bitch has no nunchi

[alluralater]

just finished moving around/reorganizing my entire bedroom. i have cried three times today but now i’m laying in bed, my room smells of roses, and i’m eating french bread. this was not the bipolar hot girl mania i was promised but damn if i don’t do it well

[themanwhomadeamonster]

HOW THE FUCK DO U CHARACTER DESIGN

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[chiropteracupola]

...what if I put him in the videogame.

[z0mbievalentine]

comePLETELY spaced on posting this wow BUT here is my piece from the @oczine!

Thanks so much @ackee for organizing this and for having me on board!

you can check out the zine for free here!

[bylertruther]

when will said it was "strange knowing who it was this whole time" and "he's hurt, he's hurting, but he's still alive" was he not talking about henry? am i insane? did i misinterpret that scene? why are we acting like will is connected to anyone other than henry bro what is Happening 😭

that was henry that shaped the mind flayer into that spider-like form and it was henry that used it to possess will and it was henry's thoughts that will was experiencing against his will and it's henry that he's still feeling because the connection/"vecna's curse" hasn't been broken. they physically extracted the mind flayer from will's body, yes, but his connection to henry was never broken. henry can't exercise complete and total control over people without the mind flayer's power, which is why will has free will over his body but his mind remains connected to henry.

the characters, and by extension the viewers, thought it was the mind flayer behind everything, because they didn't know what season four revealed to us.

henry wanted to control will's mind and body—a complete and entire violation of everything will is. that was Not the mind flayer, and they tell us that more than once. with all love and respect what are some of you on about because you're starting to make me feel like my memory is genuinely broken or something lmao like i thought.... the big reveal was that it's always been henry? they literally say that? eleven, henry, and will all confirm it? the mind flayer was not a separate entity acting alone... thus will has beef with henry most of all because henry's violation of his mind and body is still ongoing... Where Are You Guys Getting Your Information From 😭 hELP

will's rape—because that's what possession is, he never consented to having his mind and body controlled by anyone else—is an important part of stranger things; both to the general plot and will's character. to say that will only has beef with the mind flayer and not henry is reducing what henry did to him and reassigning blame that very much falls on henry's shoulders. henry was controlling the mind flayer and henry is the one still in will's mind. henry used the mind flayer to have control over will. henry and will are connected. the show literally tells us that over and over again. when you decide to needlessly reassign blame, not only are you misunderstanding and misconstruing the plot, but you're also... not understanding what happened to will at all. like, what really happened to him and how that's used in the show.

henry very likely was the one that kidnapped will. henry is the one that will has a psychic connection to. henry is the one that raped will / possessed him if you prefer that term instead and used the mind flayer to do it. henry is the one that will still knows like the back of his hand, because henry is the one that's still in his head. it's not the mind flayer. it's henry. please stop saying that will doesn't have more than enough reason to want to kill his ass. please!!!

[stackedbirds]

i need someone to acknowledge this, wei wuxian and the main character ant from a bug's life have an eerily similar life

they're both extremely skilled inventors who get shunned for their unconventional ways of thinking, whose entire normal collapses when a powerful nation wages war on their own, who are held responsible for harm to their homeland (whether and how rightfully varies), have one girl on the side of their home who believes in them unconditionally, bond with a bunch of rejects, basically adopt a kid, stand up to oppression and the biggest difference is what results their nonconformity brings

I am nowhere near as skilled with words as I would like to be to explain this properly but please tell me someone, anyone gets it

because what this has all been actually about is that while this picture looks like xie lian

this guy is not xie lian - he is wei wuxian. thank you for coming to my TED talk

[palismet]

u ever think about how hunter would learn about wolves in the human realm and then have the windows open, hear a familiar, distant sound and go oh! oh! wolves in connecticut! wolves in connecticut! and it's just the siren of an ambulance

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: June 7

"STFU!" by Rina Sawayama

[rox-reads]

this can all go on your resume under something like time management and planning skills, of course its a good thing! :)  

[rabbithaver]

really not looking forward to my parents going to bed tonight bc i know for a fact the second im alone in a quiet house my brain is going to implode. violently

[cat-clawz]

Autism is all fun and games until it's finals week and your hyperfixation has you seized by the throat and is preventing you from studying