#that I am trying to get my act together enough to make into a comic

[z0mbievalentine]

comePLETELY spaced on posting this wow BUT here is my piece from the @oczine!

Thanks so much @ackee for organizing this and for having me on board!

you can check out the zine for free here!

[watchmegetobsessed]

BACK TOGETHER

A/N: okayyyy another little steve fic bc yall really loved my prev one!

PAIRING: Steve Harrington x Reader

WORD COUNT: 1.1k

WARNING: season 4 spoiler!!!

SUMMARY: You and Steve broke up not long ago, but watching over Max in the night brings the two of you back together.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

The gang is now stationed in the Wheelers’ basement once again. After what happened to Max in the cemetery you’re guarding her nonstop, there’s always someone watching her, checking that she is still listening to the music and hasn’t gone into trance again. It’s one in the morning and you’re the chosen one to keep an eye on her, but Steve has decided to join you. 

It’s been a bit weird, hanging out with Steve so much even though the two of you broke up just a few weeks ago. You haven’t spoken much, but the recent happenings with Vecna brought the old gang together so now you’re forced to be around each other again. The breakup happened after a stupid, but pretty intense fight you had, it started because you’ve had enough of Steve always hanging out with Robin and even though you know Robin is playing on a different team, it’s still pretty annoying when you can’t make plans with your boyfriend because he already has something going on with Robin. 

He accused you of being jealous for no reason and you told him he is a child and it ended with a screaming match and the two of you parted ways after breaking up. One year of relationship ended in such a ridiculous way, you almost kind of feel embarrassed. 

“You’re not hearing any clock dinging, right?” Steve asks, breaking the silence since everyone around you is asleep. 

“Wait, you don’t hear it?” you ask with a dead serious face and watch as his expression falls completely. “I’m just kidding,” you add quickly.

“It’s not funny, Y/N, not after what happened to Max!” he tells you off, but you still find it a bit comical. He should know you well enough to know you’d have already told them if Vecna was after you. 

“Sorry, just trying to stay awake,” you yawn, taking a glance at Max who is seemingly still perfectly fine.

“Go to sleep, I can take over your shift,” he offers.

“No need to play the hero, Steve.”

“I’m not… I’m just trying to be nice,” he rolls his eyes.

“We’re not together anymore, so you don’t have to go out of your way to be nice to me, though you didn’t quite do it before either.”

Your comment comes out a bit spicier than you intended, but you also think it’s true. It’s too late to act nice now, he should have cared about you when you expected it from him. 

“Y/N, maybe we should talk about that,” he sighs, running a hand through his ridiculously good hair. How does he look this good even in the middle of what feels like another apocalypse? 

“About what exactly? That we broke up or that you said I was jealous or that you spent more time with Robin than your own girlfriend?”

“God, I almost forgot how hot you are when you give me an attitude.”

“And you’re such a child,” you roll your eyes and attempt to get up from beside him, but he grabs your hand and pulls you back. 

“I’m sorry! Please, I want to apologize!”

“About wha–”

“Everything, Y/N,” he groans, already knowing what you wanted to ask. “You were right and I was an ass. I just always thought you would find someone better than me at college so I convinced myself you don’t need me and I didn’t want to need you either.”

His confession surprises you, he never told you he was having second guesses and you would have reacted differently if only he told you the truth.

“Steve, I’m staying in Hawkins instead of applying to schools out of state. I made this decision because of you. Do you think I would just drop you for some other guy?”

“I don’t know, I thought about that, yes,” he replies with a shrug, but it’s obvious he is struggling inside.

“You’re an idiot, Steve. That’s what you are,” you sigh. 

“Well, at least we agree about that. I really am an idiot, because I lost the best girl in town.”

Silence falls on you, it’s heavy and says a lot. You want to tell him you still love him, that you still want to be with him, but you want him to take this step, to tell you he wants to give your relationship another go. But you know it can take some time for Steve to figure out, to decode the signs you send him.

“What song would you play to bring me back?” you ask to keep the conversation going. His eyebrows rise as he looks at you with a tiny smile as he thinks about his answer.

“Something from Duran Duran, it’s your favorite, right?” he smirks as you gape at him.

“You ass, that’s your favorite!” Steve starts laughing and you can’t hold it back either as you smack him in the chest.

“Cyndi Lauper Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. You played it every morning last year when we drove to school,” he then says and it’s the correct answer, it’s definitely your favorite song at the moment. “Though I’m a bit hurt that your favorite song is not related to me,” he adds.

“But it is.”

“What?” he furrows his eyebrows at you.

“It was playing on the radio when you picked me up on our first date,” you tell him. “I took it as a sign.”

“That it was gonna be a good date?”

“That Steve Harrington is not as big of a douchebag people say him to be,” you tease him smirking. “And I was right. He is a pretty good guy. He just… gets lost sometimes, forgets that I love him a lot and I don’t want other men when I have him.”

He looks at you with those puppy eyes, his ridiculously curly eyelashes framing them perfectly and all your anger and disappointment is now gone. You just want your boyfriend back. Luckily, Steve reads the situation as well and he knows this is his chance to get you back.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I was a shitty boyfriend, but if you gave me another chance I would do everything to make you happy.”

“What took you so long?” you sigh with a soft smile before leaning in and pressing your lips against his. 

You missed his lips, his kisses, his touches, the way he cups your face when he deepens the kiss. For a moment you’re not in the Wheelers’ basement, but in a safe place somewhere far away from the madness in Hawkins.

“It’s so nice you two just got back together, but you’re supposed to be watching Max.”

Dustin’s voice snaps you out of your little bubble and pulling away from Steve you see him sitting up, his eyes puffy and barely open as he watches the two of you.

“Henderson, you just know exactly when to open your mouth, huh?” Steve sighs and the kid in question just smirks and shrugs before lying back down and Steve doesn’t hesitate before pulling you closer to continue from where you left it before Dustin’s interruption.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[crow-stars]

❝CHILDHOOD RULES BROKEN❞

❦summary; childish fun doesn't always mean you have to be a child to enjoy it. ♪the characters in this story; gn!reader, riddle rosehearts ✎word count; 961 ❀what do the ghosts say?; platonic, just good old fluff times, reader and riddle jump on the bed together, riddle getting to act like a kid :) ☛the author's notes; nothing to note... ☪look at the catalogue?

“Why would you jump on a bed? Doesn’t that ruin the mattress?” 

“Well, yeah, but if in moderation, it can be fun!” Riddle shakes his head with a tired sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. The thought of participating in something that only young children do in his adolescence seems ridiculous, yet you’re so insistent on trying to get him to join you. 

The two of you were sitting on Riddle’s bed. You were supposed to be studying, yet it somehow divulged into you telling stories about your childhood with Riddle listening. One of the fondest memories you had was getting to jump around on the bed, giggling and laughing before your parents told you to stop and go to bed. That was how the conversation led to this, debating about jumping on the bed. Though, it was more you trying to convince Riddle that it was fun and Riddle pointing out why it wasn’t fun, both in short term and long term. 

“Why don’t you try it? If you don’t like it, then you can say that jumping on a bed sucks.” 

A scoff came from Riddle as he shook his head in the way he did whenever he was unamused, or at least when he tried to act amused. He lowers the textbook he was holding, already a third of the way done with the book. It was dense enough to make anyone’s head spin. 

“I’m not going to jump on the bed. I already know the risks and factors when it comes to jumping on the bed.” He states it in such a matter of fact way, it’s almost comical. You shifted to sit on your knees, leaning forward as he gave Riddle a more intense stare. 

“But you haven’t actually jumped on a bed yourself! How do you know all the risks?” 

“My mother.” 

The stare you gave Riddle could only be described as a deadpan and even Riddle knew that his first response was the one that would come under scrutiny. After a long, frankly unnecessary silence in Riddle’s opinion, you let out a sigh and stood up on the bed, grabbing Riddle’s hands and attempting to tug him onto his feet. Riddle resisted, obviously, he still had his shoes on compared to you, who had taken your shoes off 

“Wha─ What do you think you’re doing?” The smile you had was wide, the giddy type of smile that told Riddle you had something up your sleeve. You bounced slightly on the bed, causing the papers and books that were resting on the mattress to jump in response. 

“C’mon! Take off your shoes!” 

Riddle gives you an incredulous look and you only nod encouragingly. There’s a nagging feeling in the back of Riddle’s head that tells him he’ll be in trouble for doing something like this. Yet with your hands tugging at him every few seconds and light bounces on the bed that gets him lightly bouncing along with you, Riddle ignores that nagging voice and takes off his shoes, which earns a loud “yay!” from you. He moves your two’s work from the bed, before he takes your hands into his. 

Thankfully, you help Riddle onto his feet on the bed, hand in hand with him. His legs noticeably shook, probably not used to standing on something he didn’t normally stand on but you kept a firm grip on him. There was a nervous, yet oddly excited smile on Riddle’s lips as you slowly began to guide him into bouncing. 

The two of you began with just slow bounces, feet never leaving the mattress as you did so. Riddle could feel his heart racing a bit, feeling anticipation and anxiety flow through his body. He felt awkward with just the little up and down bounces, but was thankful that it wasn’t too much at once. 

“A-Am I do it right?” Riddle lifted his head to look at you, earning a laugh from you. He looked like a puppy who was seeking approval, which was somewhat true. 

“You’re doing fine, Riddle. Don’t worry.” You lightly squeezed his hand before bouncing on the bed just a bit harder. Riddle was still on the slow, light bounces, so such a sudden change in the tempo leads to Riddle stumbling. He stutters and stumbles, gripping onto you tighter so as not to fall. It only makes you laugh as you keep with the new tempo, Riddle eventually catching onto it and beginning to jump up and down on the bed more properly. 

The nervous confusion eventually began to morph into something akin to newfound glee on Riddle’s face. He eventually let go of your hands to jump on his own accord. To see the stern and strict Riddle giggling and smiling like a child was a rare sight for anyone’s eyes and a true treat to see. And he managed to have so much energy too, gaining the courage to let himself fall backwards and let his body bounce up and down on the mattress. 

The feeling of jumping up and down on the bed felt absolutely exhilarating for Riddle, such a simple thing producing so much joy for the housewarden. He kept going well past his legs hurting, jumping up and down on his bed while laughing and smiling. You eventually had to stop, but Riddle kept going for a good few minutes after you before collapsing on the bed with a tired huff. You grin as you look over at the tired Riddle looking back at you. 

It’s silent for a few seconds before laughter bursts out of the two of you, giggles being faintly heard from outside of Riddle’s door, yet neither of you could care, not when both of you were smiling so widely.

[cycat-carisi]

Lonesome Superhero

Pairing: Gator Tillman x f!reader (not romantic)

Summary: Gator keeps hitting on you and you finally give him a piece of your mind. He's not the sweet boy you once knew anymore - or if he is, it's far too difficult to see.

Tags: No spoilers! Angst. Post episode 1 and 2.

Warnings: language, misogynistic themes from the show

Length: ~1.3k

A/N: This just popped into my head and I needed to get it out. Gator is despicable and unless he has some major character growth, I can't bring myself to romanticize him. I do think his character is super intriguing though. I hope we get to dive deeper into what makes him tick throughout the season. (:

(Plus, I have a theory that Gator may have unintentionally been a witness to his mother's murder as a boy...)

Fic below the cut or on AO3 here

It's in the way the frosted glass door harshly swings open that immediately lets you know who is behind it. There could only be one person who felt entitled enough to barge into a retirement home like he owned the place.

You swallow thickly. Not again.

Turning around from your medicine cart, you find him standing there in his camouflage cargo pants and a black t-shirt that is two sizes too tight. His hands perch on his hips as his narrowed eyes and cocky smirk aim in your direction.

"Gator, please. Not today," you speak coldly.

His smirk only grows. "Oh, c'mon, babycakes, you don’t know what you're missin'!"

"Gator!" you scold, trying to hush your voice in front of your patients. "Come with me, please." Anger bubbles up inside of you as Gator's face contorts into a triumphant grin. He saunters forward as you lead him toward the back entrance of the small facility.

In the shadow of the building, the fall air nips at your bare arms. The chill, however, is easily quelled by your boiling blood.

"How dare you come to my place of work!" You waste no time laying into the Tillman son.

Your ferocity catches Gator off-guard, causing panic to dart across his features. He takes a half-step back, pulling his head and neck along with it.

Oh, but you’re far from done with him.

"For weeks now, you've been popping up wherever I go, asking me to go out with you in the most degrading ways possible! Every. Single. Time. I have turned you down, yet you clearly cannot take ‘no’ for an answer! And now you have the audacity to show up at where I work and do the same? No! It doesn’t work like that, Gator. I worked hard for my career. I went to college, got my license, and came back here to help my community. I am respected in this building, and I will not tolerate you waltzing in here like God's gift to women and disrespecting me in front of my patients!"

Out of breath and seething, you continue to stare Gator down. He looks downright gobsmacked – a mixture of a wounded pup about to run and a cornered hound ready to bite.

The silence is deafening. You wait for Gator to snap back like he always does – some moronic comeback that's as pathetic as his barbed wire LOL tattoo.

And predictably, he does just that. "What the hell?!!" he cries out, stepping towards you and invading your space. The pungent odor from his last puff of vape wafts off his breath. "I'm the law in this town! I'm a winner! All you ever do is humiliate me! You're fucking awful!"

"I'm awful?!" you scoff, eyebrows shooting skyward. You're about to rip him a new one when you simply stop and shake your head in pity. "What happened to you, Gator?"

Once again, the Tillman son is rendered speechless. His dark brow pinches together in confusion. "Wha-?"

You seize your opportunity to dive a little deeper. "I mean, what happened to the Gator from middle school? The one who used to be my friend? The boy who was sweet and kind and would spend lunch hours reading comic books with me. It's like you suddenly woke up one day and decided to become an asshole, always acting out in class and purposely bullying other kids. Doing reckless shit because your dad could get you out of trouble. And now? I think you've gotten worse! Hell, Mrs. Lakeland told me that you all but pushed Gladys Baker out of the way at the corner store the other day. What the heck is wrong with you? Who do you think you are?"

"I - I -" he stammers, head spinning. Then Gator swallows, puffing up his chest. "I take what's mine! I take what I'm owed. I made it through police training. People in this town owe me their respect, so I take it as I see fit."

"Newsflash! That's not how you get respect, sunshine," you retort. "Respect is earned, and from where I'm standing, all I see is a pathetic man-child whose daddy got him where he is today. 'My father is the sheriff' are the magic words that force people to step out of your way. That's not respect; that's notoriety from being a grade-A asshole!"

Gator's face twists into a snarl while his fists clench and unclench at his sides. You've clearly hit a nerve.

Even though you’d love nothing more than to lay into him some more, you remind yourself that it’s notworth the fight. Instead, your chest constricts with disappointment. "I don’t get it, Gator,” you speak softly. “Why do you let your father run your life? He says to jump and you ask how high. When are you gonna wake up and realize that he's just using you?"

If it wasn’t clear that you’d struck a nerve before, it certainly is now. Gator’s combat boot strikes the gravel, sending up a cloud of dust and dirt, and his cheeks glaze over with a deep red flush. "I don’t – He doesn’t –" Lost for words, Gator simply clamps his jaw shut. He kicks at the ground again and throws his hands to his hair, letting out a frustrated yell.

You hop back in surprise; a fearful gasp escapes you at his sudden outburst.

Gator's head whips back up, and those dark eyes meet yours.

Middle school was a long time ago, yet Gator remembers everything. He remembers how nice you were to him; how one day you saw this quiet boy sitting alone at lunch with a comic book and decided to come over and ask what he was reading. He used to dream of being as invincible as the superheroes in his books – Gator's way of shielding himself from everything that he'd seen. But then you came along and somehow made him feel a little less alone. He adored you and your friendship, eventually developing a little crush. That was, of course, before Gator was taught that girls weren't supposed to like comics, that men lead while women follow, and that his father's word was absolute. If he pleased his father, any situation could go Gator's way. The power sought after by characters in his comic books was right at Gator's fingertips; all he had to do was prove to the senior Tillman that he was worthy. Nothing else mattered.

And now? Gator almost had it. He was so close to having his father's approval. He was certain of it! Why couldn't you see that? Why couldn't you see how awesome he had become? He had buried his crush on you away while you were at college, but now that you were back, there was no reason to hide that he wanted you. And there should be no reason why you wouldn't want him either!

Except…your words today hurt. They made Gator feel puny and pathetic. How could you say that he was just his father's pawn?! He was his own man! A tough and strong and important man in this town...right?

You watch as despair briefly flashes across Gator's face before quickly being replaced by aggravation. He grunts again prior to spinning on his heels and stalking off.

No! Gator is his own man, and you were just the type of woman his father had warned him about! His crush is stupid, and so are you...

As Gator storms off, his ears catch your quiet words laced with pity. "Silly me for thinking that the sweet guy who read comics with me would still be in there.”

For the first time since he was a boy, tears stab at Gator's eyes. He scrunches his eyes closed and shakes his head, instead focusing on the sound of gravel crunching under his boots as he slinks away.

Thanks for reading! Feedback is loved ❤

| Series masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

[nghtwngs]

while you fall (i’ll be there to catch you in my arms)

description: dick grayson comforts you on a lonely night as you pour your heart out to him.

pairing: batman!dick grayson x vigilante!reader

genre: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, friends to lovers

word count: 0.8k

warnings: trauma dumping, loneliness, dick grayson is batman, minor reference to detective comics #877

a/n: i’ve been reading the black mirror and dick said something that made me go “i’m gonna write this”—i totally forgot this was in my drafts (it’s been a year), but i just reread it, and wow this is actually good enough to post, especially since the new season has started airing. i hope you find comfort in this as much as i did.

“I’ve always been a people-watcher, Dick,” you murmur. Your arms are curled around your knees as you stare blankly into the abyss of the city below from your room.

The midnight black buries the buildings, but the bright neons light up Gotham a little even at its darkest hour. It’s the only source of light in here, bathing both you and Dick in its glow. He’s taken the spot next to you on the floor where you’re both leaned against the side of your bed. It rains again, a soft pitter-patter against your windows.

“I watch people too,” he says, but you know he means it differently.

“Not the way I do.”

You feel his intrusive gaze on you and the way he tries not to analyze you like he does everyone else. He’s failing, but you appreciate it anyway. He tries to understand without seeing you as another case he has to solve. Like he’s still Detective Grayson even after his time in Blüdhaven became nothing more than a memory. It’s instinctual though, a habit that he couldn’t get rid of. Neither of you could after all these years jumping city skylines.

Your eyes never shift away from the little dots moving outside. “Analyzing people is one thing, watching them is another. And I’ve been watching them for as long as I can remember. I watched them play games with each other on the playground, laugh together at lunch, click in a way I never could.

“Then, I started watching them in a different way. We read them. We can calculate their every move. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized how different those two things were. I always watched people enjoy life instead of living it. I never say what I want to say. I hesitate. I always hesitate, but never when I’m wearing the mask. Never when I’m out jumping rooftops in Gotham. Those moments… you can’t hesitate.”

Dick is used to being watched. He’s always going to be one of the main acts of the show whether or not it was a circus performance. He always knows how to put on a good show. That’s what he does best. And you would always be the one watching from sidelines as the audience. Sometimes, in the back of your mind, you’d be wishing that it was you falling off that trapeze.

You exhale, rubbing your eyes. “You’ve always been in the middle of everything. I’m not sure if I’m jealous of that or what. I don’t think I am? It seems… like a lot. Sometimes though, I wonder what it’d be like to be the center of things for a while.” You blow out a shaky breath, blinking away the water in your eyes. “I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. It all sounds so stupid coming out.”

You realize your mistake now. You’re letting someone take a glimpse of you, the you behind all the sarcasm and blank eyes and silence. Your eyes squeeze shut. You are being too much. No one likes too much.

“No,” he answers softly. “It doesn’t.” A few moments of silence pass, followed by his voice again. “Can I… hug you?”

You stare at him like he’s just asked you if the moon is really made out of cheese. But his eyes are so earnest, so caring, and so warm that you find yourself landing in Dick’s arms right away, burying your head in his shoulder. His arms wrap around your torso. You don’t even realize you were shaking until his voice comes out in small whispers.

It’s okay. You’re doing great.

It only manages to make you cry harder, your sobs being muffled by his skin. It feels good to let go. Pretending is getting tiring.

Your throat is hoarse now. It sounds like sandpaper. Feels like it. Your eyes lock onto the wall behind him. All the emotion is being drained now, seeping through the cotton of Dick’s white t-shirt and into his warm skin.

The next words that escape your mouth are unexpected by the both of you. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt loved.” You feel him stiffen underneath you as you continue, “I want to feel seen, heard.”

“Can I love you then?” he murmurs without missing a beat, hand rubbing your back gently. “Can I make you feel loved? I’ll make you feel so loved.”

He makes it sound like such an honor. Like loving you is the single most important thing he could be doing, and you know that to not be true. But the way he’s holding you makes you feel differently. It makes you feel like everything would be okay with him.

You guess that it’s just the Dick Grayson effect. He could make you feel like falling out of the sky is completely safe because he’d be right there on the ground to catch you.

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t think I’ve been more sure of anything in my life,” he answers. Dick presses a chaste kiss to your temple.

“Never?”

“Nope. Never.” He holds you tighter and smiles at you. He looks like an angel. He looks like your savior. “I’ve always been sure about you.”

[intotheelliwoods]

@kinky-asexual I love myself having certain colors represent certain themes/events/occasions :) TYSM by the way!!

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I bring you this doodle! @greentrickster

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Dont know why I drew this but here you go. @wraenata Have an emotional support peepaw.

Anyways, Marcus Moncrief was on Saturday Night Live, live!! Donnie was rambling to Leo about the concept of freezing time by reaching absolute 0 in Kelvin :)

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Oh I have been waiting for someone to ask me something like this, you have no idea. Putting this ESSAY under a cut oops I wrote a ton (if the cut even works, sometimes they dont)

I am very aware of the norm of the usual take of Future Leo AU's, it was all those AU's and fics that mad inspired me after all! They are all so good and play on a very interesting concept! Issue is, it ended up being the only take I ended up seeing. With the whole future and present self having some form of resentment towards eachother even if it was just a little bit, or for only a short period of time. I honestly needed a fresh breath of air and it came to my attention as time went on that other readers also needed a breath of fresh air. So uh, I very much saw the opportunity here and took it, with the added bonus of it being in comic form since theres so many fics out there.

Yes my comic is absolutely the opposite of the norm and I plan on keeping it like that, I made it the opposite of the norm for a reason, and the reason definitely shows through the sheer numbers and attention I have been getting on this thing! I am so happy so many people are enjoying the series! I am so glad to heal everyones wounds from the anguish of the usual plotlines haha!

Sidenote, I would actually highly recommend this post by pinetreevillain, read the tags, words things better than I ever could. Not just the OP's tags, all the reblog tags too.

(There may have been fics were the Leos were actually nice to eachother, but either I did not hear of them/see them, or they were just overall not popular enough to be well known and recognized for the good relationship)

I understand that such a fast change in character meanwhile does not happen overnight. This here is probably the biggest issue I have within the series, though I do have a little bit of reasoning.

I am just going to be flat out honest, I personally find it hard for myself to sit and read through something about characters arguing, it makes me weirdly uneasy. Something something about characters who love eachother yelling it out just hits me in a way I try to avoid whoops. So if I find it hard to read something like that, it is even harder for me to write and draw it out myself, there will be no forms of these sorts situations in the series because of that. Though this does tie back into me trying to avoid the norm, having everyone be kind to Leo after the movie is a take you do not see often.

I actually attempted addressing the movie aftermath with Raph and Leo with this comic, it was the whole point on why I made the comic! Because yes! I These two really did need some new take, my own take, on the aftermath. I wanted to show in that comic that Raph is not mad, happy actually, that Leo managed to pull himself together for such an act. Leo proved on that day that he knew what he was doing, how to care for a team, and that he was truly meant for his role as the leader.

Final little point: Lets be honest I dont think anyone will have the guts to even be mad at Leo after he sacrificed himself and his arm to save everyone. How could anyone be mad at that? Outside the fear of loosing him of course

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

Hello may I request a matchup for JJK please? I’m a straight female and my name is Xiomara!

I’m very shy, distant, quiet, and a little awkward. Basically a huge introvert at first. However, once I get to know you better or I at least see that you’re comfortable around me, I’ll get comfortable as well :) And once that happens, you could say I become slightly more extroverted. I get louder, laugh more, and am overall less shy, distant, quiet, and awkward. I’m also very sensitive and have tons of trouble speaking up for myself. When getting yelled at or just insulted, I try and act unbothered but I think everyone knows that I’m holding in my tears at that point… (it’s really embarrassing ok don’t judge 🫠) But one thing I can say is that I’m somewhat funny. When I feel comfortable around people or just someone, I usually let more witty and funny comments out. Hobbies I have are photography, gaming, golfing, bowling, board games, jigsaw puzzles, and listening to music! I mostly do these hobbies solo though since I’m either too scared or nervous to ask someone or even a friend to participate with me. My appearance usually consists of grey sweatpants, grey sweatshirt, and black boots— it’s usually my go to outfit since it’s pretty comfortable. At home, my hair is tied in a low ponytail. Outside however, my hair is let down. I let my hair down outside because I’m hella insecure about my side profile. I have a round face, curtain bangs, eye-bags, black hair, and really dark brown eyes :) some people say they look soulless but idk 🤷‍♀️ I think the only thing that’s preventing my eyes look completely soulless is the fact that I commonly express myself through reactions. I’m also 5’5 ft tall. I am NOT a confrontational person. I will literally do everything and anything I can to avoid that— whether I’m the one being confronted or doing the confronting. In short, I absolutely hate confrontation 😭 I also tend to speak using a lot of “uh” or “um” because if usually when I don’t say those two words, I end up mixing up my words and my whole sentence just ends up sounding confusing 😬 Also, I smile at almost everything and anything. I’m one of those people where even in awkward, inappropriate, or tense situations— I’ll smile. It’s especially always common for me to smile when I’m nervous. Most people find this trait comical lol. But in situations where I shouldn’t be smiling but do, I never smile to upset people, I smile because I’m either extremely nervous or I just thought of something funny. Another trait I have that I’ve gotten called weird for is how often I laugh during the night rather than the day. I just feel like during the nights I remember more hilarious things than I usually do during the day. I also laugh really loud when I’m alone so I guess hearing loud laughter in the nighttime is in fact weird 🤥

(Hey hey, I’m sorry that this is kinda short- my brain was not cooperating with me. Other than that I hope ya enjoy this and have a fantastic day!)

I match you with..

Gojo Satoru

- It makes him happy when you start to get comfortable enough around him to reveal your more extroverted and funny side.

- He has no problem with speaking up for you. Though he does try and help you with that issue.

- He thinks your nervous and awkward smile is cute and will often tease you about it. Saying stuff like “Whatcha smiling about?” or “What’s so funny?”

- INSISTS on going with you to do your interests/hobbies. It gets so damn chaotic whenever you two play board games together (especially if you play any cards games like Uno...don’t even start with Uno) Sometimes you guys even place bets.

- He likes to look at some of the photos you take (Asks if you can take a picture of him next. Then if you agree to it, he’ll have the goofiest smile on his face)

- Loves your eyes and your comfortable style.

Masterlist

[scintillyyy]

so i want (finally after months of this sitting in my drafts) to say some things about dana winters-drake, because she, along with jack and janet fascinate me. and i'm going to preface this and say: yes, i know she was created and written by terrible sexist writers, a lot of her more negative traits are because terrible sexist writers don't understand or care about how to write women and write them as laughably wtf, and none of what i'm saying means that i think she deserved her ultimate fate (she definitely did not, and i am mad about it). but! she is more complex than just a generic good mom and she has some really interesting negative characteristics to me. and i'm gonna put this under a read more, because this is probably going to get long

#1 dana as the worst physical therapist in the world:

so i'm going to start with my main point of contention(? i don't know, maybe not that strong) with her: her introduction. she's introduced as jack's physical therapist, and i will not lie, this comes very, very close to absolutely ruining her completely for me and the only reason is doesn't is because i'm aware of who created her, so it's not her fault. i'm am absolutely biased about this, i will admit it. i find this personally abhorrent on every level due to personal reasons, and there is no way anyone will ever convince me that this is not that bad. there is no situation in which dana is not a total monster for this. and i am correct about this. i promise you i can argue every "but" you have about it. i'm sorry. (unless, of course, your argument is 'but this is comics and we don't ascribe that much real life morality to comics', in which case: fair. that's true.)

because i want to make it clear: jack sucks, but dana is the one in the wrong here when it comes to them getting in a relationship. i see a lot of "but she was way younger than him" kind of framing her as an innocent young ingenue to jack's older, predatory ways and i'm over here like...that's not how this works at all.

because dana was the professional in the patient-provider relationship. jack shouldn't have been weird or flirty with her, absolutely, please don't harass your health care professionals (but it also tracks! a survey of physical therapists showed that 84% reported being sexually harassed at work from a patient during their career. so yes, of course jack, a man in his 40s-50s would absolutely try to flirt with his PT, 100%) but the thing is...there's nothing actually stopping jack from trying to flirt with his PT. it's annoying and he shouldn't, but there's no laws against it. dana is the one who has the moral, legal, and ethical obligation to maintain a solely professional relationship with jack (yes, even if she is younger than him-also, i promise you, she was at least 24-25 even being introduced in the 90s. at that time physical therapy was largely a master's program following a 4 year bachelor program. she has a fully developed frontal lobe. she's old enough to know her responsibilities. you don't graduate from school for physical therapy or any other rehabilitation job knowing anything but getting with a patient is the #1 no-no, go directly to jail, do not pass go, etc). she is the healthcare provider in this relationship. jack can flirt with her until the cows come home and it's her responsibility to shut him down every time.

because!! there's a little thing called a practice act. it governs what a licensed professional is and isn't allowed to do. and look, i found new jersey's. highlighted just for you. no amount of ~but they're in love~ will help here. no excuses dana!!

i just live in a world where she loses her license to practice after she gets together with jack, okay. like, tbf, she doesn't get shown actually going on dates with jack until after he can walk again in robin #15, but this is nowhere near at least 3 months after he's done with his rehab. like. it's heavily implied that their relationship basically started while she was actively treating him. like. is he even done with his rehab at this point? he mentions he's almost there wrt his walking so is she still his physical therapist? it's never made clear when she stops. dana starts sleeping with him a few issues after this, so god, i hope so.

anyways, even if she had waited three months after terminating their patient-provider relationship, there's various other reasons why her choosing to get together with jack at all after being his physical therapist is a little morally sus even if technically legal. because here's a list of things that dana would technically probably have access to/know about jack as her patient:

does jack have erectile dysfunction issues as a result of his neurologic damage from the poison? she has access to his medications, so she knows.

does jack have depression/other mental health issues from the loss of his wife/is he getting therapy/is he on anti-depressants? it's probably in his chart as a part of coordination of care. is that mental health stuff relevant to his care at all? in this case probably, given the fact that his quadriplegia is wrapped up in the incident that also murdered his wife.

has she worked with jack at all about modifying sexual positions on account of his impairments? pts will discuss this with patients if it's relevant to their care. they actually learn in school on how to educate patients with quadriplegia on how they might have to modify their intimacy with their partners in case it's relevant to care.

patients tend to confide in their PTs a lot. a lot. since they tend to see their rehab providers a lot more than other providers, patients are far more likely to confide a lot of really personal stuff to them because of the rapport/trust that builds between them over time. has jack cried over janet in his sessions with dana? has jack talked about his insecurities about how things will never be the same for him or his mobility and how that makes him feel? has he discussed his frustration at his progress or lack thereof? i cannot stress how much dana has probably gotten to know jack over the course of their rehab together, really sensitive stuff, and then to turn around and get into a relationship with a patient after having been entrusted with that sensitive information about them? would be extremely sus on the part of that provider. would you feel comfortable if that was your dad? you shouldn't.

like, this is fundamentally a very intimate and delicate patient case given everything that jack has been through. which makes it even more important that a clear line of professionalism is drawn and maintained. and dana didn't do that, clearly.

#2. dana prioritizes her position as jack's partner over her position tim's "mom"

now, i don't think this is a bad thing, necessarily! she is, after all, tim's step-mom and she made it clear from the beginning she had no intention of taking tim's mom's place. and she and tim do see each other as family and clearly care about each other. i think she's a very good step-mom, actually! she's willing to listen to tim and she tries to be a mediator between him and his dad/advocate for tim.

that being said, she almost always will capitulate to jack's position in the end. she might try to get jack to ease up, but she never really actively fights against jack's final decision on what to do with tim. remember the tv ripping out of the wall incident? in robin #45?

this happens after dana came in and talked to tim and said she'll talk to his dad about jack hearing out tim's side of the ariana story. she does, because jack comes in hoping to talk things out and when tim is ignoring him he does this lovely move. so what does this have to do with dana? well here's the thing: dana is still only dating jack at this point. she's not married to him, she can leave at any time. if she's over at their house, there's no way she missed this happening. did she wonder why jack came back from his talk with tim with tim's tv at all? did she shrug it off when she heard him start screaming at tim (remember, drake manor is big but it's not that big)? she clearly accepted that jack grounded tim for weeks after this. she's clearly not opposed to staying in a relationship with a man who would do this to his son. which says something about her. no matter how awful jack treats tim (in front of her even) she maintains a very harmonious relationship with the man and continues to want to be in a relationship with him, so as much as she might try to surface disapprove of jack's treatment of tim, in the end she'll shrug and accept it because she won't implode her relationship with jack over his treatment of tim. she definitely prioritizes her place as jack's partner. see robin #66, jack yelling at tim for running away back to gotham city right in front of dana. she's still not married to him!! this could be a deal breaker for her and it's not!!

here's her being clearly fine and going with jack on a vacation to blizzard central chicago, il right before the holidays in the dcu holiday bash iii.

here she is being more concerned about when jack is going to ask her to marry him when he's sending tim to boarding school as punishment for no man's land in robin #74:

like none of this is mutually exclusive with her being a pretty nice step-mom to tim. just that is she's okay and is a person who wants to be in a very good relationship with jack drake, she has to be someone who accepts jack's treatment of tim. she doesn't want to actually rock the boat with jack in a way that would actually jeopardize her relationship with him, as much as she tries to soften his treatment of tim.

she's clearly okay with jack just calling tim in robin #78 to tell him they're getting married. she's popping toasting to celebrate as he does this. she never said, hey jack, maybe we should tell tim in person?

#3. dana is kind of judgemental about tim's girlfriends in defense of tim/lowkey a little sexist and she's a fair representation of a republican woman.

now, this one is fair to ignore because it was written mainly by dixon and willingham, but also the sexist things she's said/implies about them is actually fairly realistic imo because the republican older women i know have said things along the vein of things dana has said. in robin #45 she says this weird thing about ariana

by saying she is implying that she knows that ariana is actually the one at fault for this entire mess and tim has to protect her reputation and saying that ariana would have a "reputation" if it came out that she was actually the one at fault. which. maybe in the 90s, but also this is a very old, conservative viewpoint on women so.

and then in robin #124 where she defaults to blaming stephanie for corrupting tim (also, she's like "jack we shouldn't do this" but then. like. doesn't actually fight him and stop him from doing this she let's him do this. then is like sigh, guess i'll make tim's favorite lasagna rather than actually fight and stop jack from doing this).

which yea, willingham. but given that dana has defaulted to defending tim over his girlfriends in the past re: ariana, i actually think it's quite in line for a more conservative woman like dana to be super nice to their son's girlfriends up until their son potentially looks bad and then immediately turning their backs on them because or the idea that their sons ~could never~. like. i hear the following things from conservative women at least 3x/week (paraphrased):

oh, well, girls you know. they're so much more drama than boys.

my boys were so easy, but my daughter? oh god, i can't even begin with her

girls are so catty. boys are so much easier to deal with.

my son has this girlfriend. i just. i. hmmm. i just don't know about her. she's. she's. she's okay, i guess. i have some concerns.

as for how i know she's a conservative woman? she's happily and harmoniously married to jack and she's a PT in bristol township. i am 110% certain she's a registered republican. with her moral ambiguity and slighy sexism she reads as a fairly realistic conservative to me.

anyways in conclusion, i think she's actually a lot more complex than just generic good step-mom! she has a lot of failures and negative characteristics that makes her more interesting to me than just good sainted woman who puts up with jack and tim. she has her own faults. we do have to remember that she had a very good relationship with jack and saw how he treated tim and was largely okay with it. maybe jack was someone she thought she could change. maybe she agreed with him on a lot of things. jack and dana have the harmonious relationship that fandom wants jack and janet (a very volatile and ultimately ill-matched relationship) to have had!

anyways here's one final panel from robin #100 of dana saying that tim could just get a job and help out with the family finances after jack lost the company that i couldn't think of where else to put it (like, she's probably joking. but clearly this is something both she and jack find funny to joke about.)

[allycat75]

Some dos and (mostly) don'ts for the upcoming Comic Con, Boston Dumb Fuck.

So I don't know if your handlers have had a chance to program you for the event yet or if they are waiting for a software update, but here are some tips for your trip to Seattle.

When you smile, try to have it reach a little up your face. You could scare the children with your hollow, soulless eyes. You may have become an automaton, but these people paid good money so try to look and act like a human male. And stay off the weed- makes any chance of a sparkle disappear.

When speaking, try to avoid the "ok" sign, or even the Italian thing you do sometimes with the fingers together (🤌)*. It's too close to the sign the smug wifey likes to flash with her close Nazi buddies. You are already tied to her and carry around a certain amount of shame for that, don't need to make it worse by appearing like you are a true believer now.

Don't mention your inconsequential political site. These folks just want a picture with the dude who once played Captain America. They don't care about you and your vain extra curriculars.

At the same time, don't play too much into the Captain America role. You signed on for this fake marriage with the antisemetic, racist wifey to reset your image (I guess?) and you cannot claim any similarity or want for similarity or admiration for the character, when you embody everything he would be ashamed of.

Don't try to get your feminist street cred back by wishing people a good Women's History Month. That ship has sailed for you.

As much as I hate seeing that liars ring, keep your left hand out of your pocket. You look like you are diddling yourself and people don't need more reasons to try to label you as a p**vert. We all know you are an "alone guy" and maybe that is what you do back at the hotel, although with its dubious metal composition, I don't recommend getting that piece of jewelry too close to your junk. It could cause sterility...On second thought, whack away, rub, rub, rub with good old lefty. Do society a favor. You are enough of a child for you to raise.

Of course you could forgo the ring altogether (in unison "You could forgo the ring". Sorry, I had to do that. My dad trained me too well watching "Airplane"). Have the OFFICIAL break up announcement come out before the con. Garner some sympathy. Begin to remove all reference of her. But don't forget that this does little to clear your karmic debt or repair the pathetic shreds of your life. You have a long road to travel, if you chose to do better. Leaving this debacle is only the first step. No matter the narrative being told, the only thing for certain is that you are a major liar who has selfishly hid behind his privlege to get what he wants, no matter the collateral damage.

If you are in real trouble and are in need of serious help, send us the message by wearing your California cap and we'll come running. Maybe. You've been a real shit and may not derserve it. We'll have to assemble a coterie of mods to discuss your fate, like in a Wes Anderson movie. Any mods interested?

If, on the other hand, you are ok but would like to acknowledge you have been a manipulative, selfish sack of White Privleged shit who needs to actively work to become a trustworthy, authentic person and make amends, wear the NASA cap.

Well, that's all I can think of for now. Enjoy the coffee up there in the Emerald City, if you are into coffee that week, you Mercurial mother fucker! 👋

*PS- I would like to clarify that I am in no way equating one gesture with another. My intent was that, in this case, there is a likely possibility the Italian gesture could be taken out of context and skewed to look like the beginning of a WP sign because of BDF's association with the little Nazi twit. Photshop has been used before, why would it not be used for this nefarious purpose? Even these simple and inert gestures can become weapons in the wrong hands.

But I should have been more careful and I sincerely apologize to anyone I offended. I tell BDF to do better, but unlike him, I am not a hypocrite so I will follow my own advice. Thank you to those who politely called me out and I hope this helps.

[kerubimcrepin]

Episode 20 - My Friend Bashi (Part 1)

We had reached the milestone of 20 episodes, and I want to sincerely thank the readers for sticking with me so far. :)

I also have a small announcement: after finishing liveblogging this episode, I will take a very small break from the show to do some reading of articles and comics instead.

It's starting to feel awkward - constantly referencing some canon materials without reviewing them on this blog proper, y'know? I originally planned to do this all at once, before the movie, but I think it'll be more fun to do it in multiple reading breaks, during the show.

So many kids in this city, and Joris is friends with none of them. Except for Tatak.

All analysis and plot leaves my body as I think about how much Kerubim cares about Joris.

He's really not perfect, but no matter how much I joke about his failures, he really does care and try his best.

He's too nice for me to actually make fun of in any serious manner.

It's very nice to see the more down-low, bittersweet moments of parenting and childhood portrayed. It's also nice that it's just between the two of them, without Simone.

I love her, but it's very cute to see just Joris and Kerubim, and how they act when they're alone together.

I think that it's interesting, that even at 7yo, Joris is already at the... "this one social interaction was a disaster, and it's over, just irredeemably over"-level overthinking about relationships.

Perhaps it's knowing that for Kerubim it, often times, was like that. Kerubim did inspire very many people to either hate him with passion, or leave him.

Perhaps it's the fact that, besides Kerubim, Kerubim's friends, and Simone, he doesn't have a family; and besides Tatak, he doesn't seem to have any friends: and that makes him struggle with the idea of losing relationships.

Keke I will be real, I think Tatak is his only friend in general.

...Man. I am making myself sad by writing these things.

I don't think Joris ever had good social skills in his life. Just issues after issues.

As I've said in the previous posts, both Keke and Joris have an issue with needing to be liked always all the time, and the way it makes them do things to seem Cool and Awesome. Even if Joris has this issue in a very introverted way.

It might just be normal kids stuff, but it does add a certain flair to the things we see him do as an adult, if one accepts the idea he's always been like this.

Kerubim's way of connecting to others is to draw from his own experiences, and compare them. It's a more... mature way of cheering up people, than just saying "it gets easier!" like he used to.

For all his faults, Kerubim has grown emotionally from his youth. But it can be a thin line between making everything about yourself, and trying to say that it gets better from experience.

Even so, Joris cares a lot about his experiences and life (cough cough. the Lore), so it works for them, both as a way to distract him and to cheer him up. Kerubim knows this, it's his go-to technique.

Anyway.

I think Kerubim either vastly overestimates the depth of what happened here (I highly doubt Ecaflip is giving him tasks because he's "the best"), or he is lying to Joris, because "I spent my whole childhood afraid that my father, who is a living god, would eat me Zeus-style, because of shit like cleaning the toilets badly or not delivering the fish on time." isn't a nice story.

This is exactly what I'm talking about.

A small aside: according to The Wheel Of Destiny #8 Kerubim Crepin (which will be one of the things I liveblog during the Reading Break), Bashi and Kerubim became friends before the events of episode 3, Strich Hunt.

It makes a lot of sense, because before the events of that episode, Ecaflip had... a very rough way of treating and speaking to Kerubim. Even if he had a soft spot for him, enough to save him (and then manipulate him) during said Wheel of Destiny article, I think Kerubim only truly cemented himself as Ecaflip's most favourite in the Strich Hunt episode.

Also, considering the fact that in Wheel of Destiny, little Bashi reports to knowing and strongly disliking Atcham, it's safe to say that in this episode we have a confirmed instance of Atcham being canonically present and simply not mentioned.

...keke sure is the guy who says "im the last living crepin. laugh" while having a brother. insane.

I yet again want to gush about the portrayal of relationships in this show.

I think all of us can relate to meeting someone, and not thinking much, — not yet knowing that they will turn out to be one of the coolest people you've ever met.

Anyway, tangent incoming.

One thing that's interesting to me, is that Kerubim is never depicted as having friends in the temple. From what we see, he spends most of the time alone, or with Ecaflip.

The reasons may be:

He is Ecaflip's favorite. He had important tasks from the moment he joined the temple. It alienated people.

He was Atcham's brother. Kids are judgemental, and Atcham is a perfect bullying target. Chances are, they didn't like him due to the association.

He came in very mentally ill and unsociable, due to, y'know, being orphaned, and never managed to make friends because the impression that he's "the sad mentally ill kid" stayed.

No wonder that he got anxious around three people, and then immediately trusted them when they were nice to him.

He probably hadn't had anyone be nice to him in ages. Or, like, acknowledge him too much, at the very least.

I won't elaborate on how I think Atcham was treated in the temple lest I fucking scare you, (Something-something, literally catboy Rule of Rose,) but I will say that, just like Atcham is still violently mentally ill due to whatever happened to him, Kerubim's experiences with loneliness and alienation as a child most likely fueled his dishonesty and attention-seeking behaviours as an adult.

So I understand why, even though Bashi kinda sucks, Kerubim is so broken up about losing him. There's a lot more tragedy to this than one can first see.

It was a very important moment for Kerubim to finally have a person in his life that wasn't his father (who constantly threatened to fucking eat him), one of the kids who either disliked him or were too intimidated to talk to him, one of the random monks, or his severely mentally ill brother (who fucking hated him.)

He was his first friend.

[the-sky-the-stars-the-sea]

So I’m again on my Once Upon A Time rewatch and I just finished watching season 4, and y’all, this season is sooooo chaotic. And so freaking funny.

Like:

Introducing Frozen but no one in Storybrooke knows anything about Frozen

Elsa almosts kills Emma in the ice castle and instantly feels bad about it

RUMPLE AND BELLE HAVE A BEAUTY AND THE BEAST MOMENT AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL

trying to find the author of a magical storybook

“I knew there was a good reason why you kept me locked in there for all those years, waiting for the time you needed me most.”

Regina puts Sydney back in the mirror

Anna meets Charming who has long hair

“I’m not bossy, I’m the queen.”

Basically any time Kristoff and Elsa are on screen together

The Snow Queen and Elsa coexisting AND ARE RELATED

Sooo many moments that are references to the original Frozen movie scattered throughout the Arendelle plot making it feel like one big inside joke that we are let it on

“You’re the mayor now.” “I am?”

“STOP SAYING LETTERS”

The stunned silence at Mary Margaret finally losing it

“Can I have ice cream, Mommy? REGINA let me get ice cream.”

Will Scarlet. Just. Will Scarlet.

“You seem like a decent sheriff. I trust you’re not the sort to shoot a man in the back.” “What…?” *starts running*

“TWO sheriffs?? That’s just bloody unfair.”

Belle frantically calling Emma because a drunk man passed out in her library and she has absolutely no context and is definitely freaked out by it

“I may be a thief, but I’m not a liar. Let me show you.” *immediately starts trying to break in* *fails to break in* *EMMA BREAKS IN INSTEAD* “Neal taught me a few things.”

ANNA BESTS RUMPLESTILTSKIN WHEN SO MANY OTHERS FAILED

The character arc of Hook’s left hand

Emma finding her parents waiting eagerly for her to return home + Mary Margaret who wants to hear EVERYTHING about Emma’s first date vs David who thinks that some details are okay to be left out

Mary Margaret finding Will Scarlet and thinking that David set it all up and Will being So Confused

“I’m the sheriff’s wife.” “You’re married to the blonde?” “No that’s my daughter. I’m married to the other one.” “What now?”

“So…the sheriff’s wife can pardon me?” “I’m also the mayor-” “He did it.”

“I’m an idiot.” “Finally, something we can agree on.”

“Regina, I was hoping we could talk.” “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m about to storm an evil ice cream truck.”

“It’s bad enough that I’m stuck with you and Captain Guyliner making eyes at each other.” “We don’t make eyes.” “Ready love? 😃”

“Have I ever told you the story of how I met Marian?” “Only about 3 dozen times.” *starts recounting the story* “3 dozen and one.” *tell the story together*

“My whole life I have stuck to my code of honor.” “So why are you here…?” “Today is not one of those days.”

Mary Margaret telling Regina to button her shirt before she goes to check on Henry

“Wow you royals REALLY go through exhausting lengths to ignore your issues.”

Frozen Hans in the closet

“I think it’ll be easier to break into the library now since I’m not drunk and taking punches!” *Robin opens door with ease* *points to sign* “Open till ten.” “Well that’s generous.”

“Guess what! You’re my oldest friend!” *rips Hook’s heart out*

“Now it’s Elsa trying to find her sister that’s screwing us all!!” “…Coming from you that’s terrifying.”

“Kristoff!” “David!” “You cut your hair!” “So did you!”

Ingrid convincing Emma to stay in the foster home instead of running away by encouraging her to terrorize a kid with rubber spiders

THE SPELL OF SHATTERED SIGHT

…The spell of Shattered Sight, and all Snow and Charming do is roast each other

“I AM NOT HAPPY!! 😡😡😡”

“Sealed in My Own Vault?! UGH!!” *looks at outfit* “what the hell am I wearing??” -> the evil queen is back!!

“Emma, you’re prickly, but I don’t hate you.” “…I’m prickly??”

I’m sorry but Regina just has THE most comical face when she realizes Emma is coming, and any time she’s acting like the evil queen in this episode, all of it is just over the top and such a caricature and comical and I can’t take it

Poor Anna trying to make everyone feel love

*sing song-ish voice* “Snow White is a murderer. I killed the evil queen’s mother. And I said I was sorry when I wasn’t.” …Snow??? What???

“YOU said you could keep a secret!!” “I! Was!! TEN!!!!!!!”

Basically all of Snow’s and Regina’s sword fight

Plus David watching uselessly (except for when he teams up with Snow briefly to disarm Regina)

Henry making Hook trip on marbles when he enters the mayor’s office

Will wants another go at Hook, charges, misses, Hook knocks him into the wall, Will crumbles

Anna: *hits Kristoff over the head* *reads note* “*gasp* Kristoff! Do you have any idea what this is?! *pause* Oh, right, I knocked you out. *moves closer* wake up! We have to take this to Elsa. *kisses him* I love you! You’re amazing! …You’re unconscious. *gets up* I’ll be right back, okay? Stay there! I mean I know you’ll stay here but I’ll be back anyway!!”

Ingrid sacrificing herself and the music going on in the background at that point OH MY GOSH

WHEN THE SPELL IS UNDONE THEY LAUGH AND THEY HUG AND IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL 😭😭

*very confused* “…what am I wearing?”

Regina, David, and Mary Margaret laughing, like,, authentically laughing, like so much that it almost looks to me like they’re Lana and Josh and Ginnifer just having fun, and they’re all falling over laughing too, and it’s almost a blooper reel

“I’m sorry I tried to kill you.” “With a cross bow! You tried to kill me with a crossbow!”

“The door to Arendelle must be around here. It’s just a matter of finding it.” *magic broomstick finds it instantly* *silence* “…there it is.”

Maleficent, Ursula, and Cruella DeVil’s first entrance like wowie that is cool and ahhhh they look so good

BELLE STANDING UP FOR HERSELF AND COMMANDING RUMPLESTILTSKIN TO GET OUT OF STORYBROOKE LIKE YEAH THAT WAS PAINFUL BUT HOOO ALSO WELL DESERVED AND IT WAS DEFINITELY BOUND TO HAPPEN AT SOME POINT

They just. Released Chernabog. From the hat. Freaking Chernabog was just. In the hat.

Regina and Emma’s phone call with Ursula and Cruella

*Chernabog turns to Maleficent* “I knew it.”

“I hope you choke on my bones.” THAT IS SUCH A RAW LINE WHAT THE HECK ASFJJJGJDS

“The Chernabog was looking for the heart with the greatest potential for darkness…but it was not looking for Regina. It was after Emma Swan.” AHHHH CHILLSSSSSS

“If you say a word about this to anyone, especially Emma, you won’t have to worry about Regina. I’ll rip out your hearts myself.” …SNOW??? WHAT??? DUDE??? HUH???

Snow finding out she and Maleficent will both be mothers and she’s straight up like “nah, I don’t wanna work with you. I won’t darken myself by associating with you.” And Maleficient is like “you…wouldn’t want to make a better world for our children…just because you don’t like me??”

Regina crushing the glass after taking the shot as if it was a heart, like. What. Regina how did that prove you are villain it just proves you have a strong grip (you’re lucky you were wearing gloves or else your hand would be pretty messed up)

“First one to save us loses.”

Basically Regina is trying to join a gang

“I said we needed to meet covertly! You brought the whole Charming Softball Team and their pirate mascot??”

*Regina without warning possesses Mary Margaret to communicate where she is and what she’s doing*

Robin Hood stealing a horse in New York

Actually right before that as the camera is panning into the scene you can hear someone shout “I’m walkin’ here! I’M WALKIN’ ‘ERE!”

…I don’t even wanna get into the Zelena is Marian plot because that’s a really icky part of the plot

Ariel: *sees Hook* *immediately slaps him*

The Apprentice putting Isaac in the book without warning

Pinocchio being turned back into August

August being wood and then being a person again but then his nose grows

“We have a lot of questions.” “I bet you do.” *brings down curtain ONTO A WOUNDED MAN and runs away*

It looks like Cruella is going to get a heartbreaking traumatic backstory to show why she is how she is…but really she’s just a bad person

Emma and Regina go on a road trip

The wolf making them crash, giving everyone watching déjà vu to season one (including Emma)

“You know me from the diner, right? Smile and hold my hand and walk around the block for a little bit and you get free burgers for a week.”

*teen Emma is depressed on the bench waiting for a bus* Lily: “heyyyyy 😁😁”

The Apprentice thinking it’s just Okay to sit next to a teen girl and address her by a name she didn’t tell you. Like. My guy. I know YOU mean no harm but you REALLY gotta think about what it looks like to HER

Lily’s conspiracy board

Lily steals Emma’s bug -> Emma grabs a wrench, smashes a car window, and steals a car

Regina looking freaked out when Emma starts talking like she herself would

Regina holding on for dear life when Emma is angrily chasing Lily

*spreads arms out* “go on. Kill me. Put me out of my misery. Put an end to this.”

“There have been many authors, from the first cave painter […] to a man named Walt.” *1966* “Our last author…he passed away recently.”

Rumplestiltskin almost dying (again) (you know, just his seasonal near death experience even though he’s immortal)

Seeing Isaac write “Once upon a time…”

THE LAST TWO EPISODES OH MY GOSH I COULD WRITE A WHOLE POST JUST ABOUT THE CHAOS OF EPISODES 4x22 AND 4x23

Henry standing up to Isaac

Rumplestiltskin the light one.

RUMPLESTILTSKIN THE LIGHT ONE.

“This does not come with a price!” THAT FREAKING BROKE ME

EVIL SNOW

Charming saying “I will always find you” but it sounds Wrong

The dwarves do in fact whistle…but it is Unsettling

Regina is the outlaw with a bow and arrow instead of Snow White…and she’s aiming at Henry

“My name is Henry. I’m your son.”

Regina and Robin’s meet cute that is just like the first time they met and AHHHHH I LOVE IT

Zelena is Robin’s … fiancée

Episode 22 ending with Emma locked in the tower

HOOK BEING A TIMID LITTLE MAN

Henry breaking into the castle using a Star Wars reference

“Why isn’t it rum?” “Rum? I’m allergic to that stuff.” “Of course you are.”

Hook is jealous of himself AGAIN

“Now you’re down to six. Would you like to make it five?”

Regina and Emma meeting again

“What does your heart say? I know what my heart says. But what if his doesn’t say the same thing?” “Isn’t that a risk you’re willing to take?”

Emma confronting her parents with such a brilliant speech and amazing expression…but if you watch in the background you see Hook holding the sword above his head, pointy end going being him, gritting his teeth, bouncing forward and backward, trying to look brave but actually just looks like a scared doofus (in the most endearing way)

Hook sacrifices himself for Emma

They all go to crash a wedding

REGINA SACRIFICES HERSELF FOR HENRY EVEN WITHOUT FULLY KNOWING WHAT HE MEANS TO HER

Henry becoming the author

Hook scaring Emma because he’s not where they left him

Henry breaks the Author’s pen

Rumplestiltskin isn’t doing so hot

Belle storms into the shop yelling at Rumple but is immediately concerned when he falls to the ground

The Darkness overtaking the Apprentice

Regina is about to be taken by the darkness

Emma becomes the Dark One.

I’m pretty sure I’m missing a few things too.

Anyways, like said, this season is chaotic as HECK.

[littleeyesofpallas]

it is my pet peeve at work when some parent or more typically a grand parent walks into the store and tries asking for recommendations for "a <boy/girl> <#>years old." And I'll just sit there and pretend to be confused before saying something like, "oh is that it?" or "oh i thought you'd keep going." and then act like I'm at a loss, as if this has never happened before, and stammer to put together a few questions like, "well what are they reading now?" "what kind of movies do they like?" "do they have a favorite character?" or if the age they gave me was a little older, maybe, "what genres are they into?"

Because without jeopardizing our actual sales I just want to hammer into these shit (grand)parents' heads that an age and a sex are neither a personality nor the defining features of your kids as individuals. Describe to me an actual child and I might be able to take a guess at what they might like, but I will not be made complicit in stereotyping and profiling your child just because you're too lazy to actually parent. And you need to understand that it is WEIRD that you didn't default to doing that, WEIRDER if you straight up can't, and that you should be embarrassed by this fact.

Look, I get it, kid stuff is goofy and complicated and/or uninteresting. I curate the stuff for a living and I don't know what half of it's about. But I'm not asking you what generation of Pokemon they're into, or know what storylines of Marvel comics they have or haven't read. I just need you to actually know whether or not pokemon, or marvel, or whatever else is the thing they're into. It's not a fucking trick question. it's not a pop quiz. I'm just asking you to describe your own fucking offspring in a way more specific to them as an individual than a pair of words that fits 50% of literally every other kid they know.

Just actual be a parent. Do it. Parent. Prove to me you can.

you know maybe i glossed over it a little fast there but I want to go back to the fact that I AM NOT COMFORTABLE BEING ASKED TO STEREOTYPE CHILDREN BY THEIR GUARDIANS. And it's this gross insidious bait. this stupid passive aggressive coercion where they'll say "my niece is an 8 year old girl" and I KNOW what they want, and what they expect, and that they think they've effectively communicated that they want something about princesses, or ballerinas, or fashion, and it just makes me fucking nauseous, because you know full well if they actually LIKED princesses, or ballerinas, or fashion models, then they'd have fucking told you, and if you were any kind of a family member you'd remember at least that key word --again I don't need you to know every title of every thing they've ever read, but you should know which random subject they don't shut up about, because they're a little kid and I know damn well they've all got at least one subject.

But no. No. Instead you've decided that generic ""girl,"" in this example, is close enough to a personality that you don't need to go to the trouble of seeing your child as a real person. So now I'm being asked to assist you in corralling your kid into a limiting and meaningless fucking box that they're going to spend the next 20 years trying to make sense of. And I just won't fucking do it if I can help it.

[psalmsofpsychosis]

(still the same anon from all those Batman/Joker asks)

Be ready with those empty walls, pal, I'm on my way!! I've already thrown my suitcase in the car and filled up the gas-

You blew every expectation I had with that answer of yours and I don't know if I'll ever recover. I will absolutely respond to your answer but first I need to put my brain back together from being rearranged like a jigzaw puzzle. I'm definitely looking forward to reading that Jesus/side wound meta whenever you post it.

Until then I have a different question. I don't remember who said it but it was along these lines: "There are only three people in the world who find the Joker funny. Joker himself, sometimes Harley and lastly Bruce. And he feels so fucking guilty for it."

They pointed out how Batman does a lot of bad puns, same as the Joker, except he does it with a straight face and serious tone. For example: Bat-terry, Bat-bucket, Bat-arang, saying "hang in there Alfred" while Alfred is dangling off a metal beam. (Those are my rushed examples, not something the original poster brought up, so if they're unaccurate, that's my fault). Bruce will also just say the craziest shit and nobody is sure if he's serious or not. (Happens all the time)

I have a vague suspicion who it was but I'm not sure enough to @ them.

Joker and Batman's sense of humour and how they are somewhat opposed but still similar will drive me into an early grave I swear. Like that post that's still circulating somwhere that mentions how Bruce "lives and dies by the fact that nobody can ever tell when he's pulling their chain" and how Joker "craves to have his comedic genius acknowledged [but he's just not funny]".

I don't know about Joker wanting to be acknowledged as funny because I don't think he considers himself to be in the clown business. He definitely ranted about this to a captured Damian in a comic once. But he does make a lot of bad jokes. Maybe he doesn't think himself funny, either?

Any thoughts?

(Btw I'm not done pestering you yet, be ready to receive an ask about the Batman: I Am Suicide comic and about Martha and Thomas Wayne in the next few days. I still have to gather my thoughts though.)

(Can I just say that every single one of your answers has made my brain release a huge amount of serotonin? Or is that too much? Eh, whatever, it's the truth anyway. You've brightened my week considerably, thank you so much!!)

❤️❤️ hi friend, i adore receiving your asks and getting to exchange interpretations with you, and i can only hope that my superturbonexus unhinged answers have brought half as much joy to you as your questions have brought me 🥰

I kinda took my time with this ask (sorry!) because it's a rather big bite out of an intricate can of bat worms for me, can included. I also found and reread this particular post by @distort-opia , which put more a dozen more interesting worms in my metaphorical can— i'm not sure though if it was the post you were initially referring to.

So! The concept of jokes and generally being a funnyman is a subjective talk, and my personal preferences regarding where Joker and Batman place on the funnyman scale deviate considerably from what the general consensus in batman fandom seems to be (or the lot i have seen of it), so i guess i'll just take this opportunity to do personal talk, probably more than usual 😂 take it all with a grain of salt! (an ingradient that you'll find this answer contains a fair bit of actually—)

I dont think Joker is funny one bit, and i dont think he's particularly trying to be in the general sense of the word; to imply that he's "funny" both in-world and on a meta level would mean that being funny is his core motivation and the heart of his actions, that it's the foundational component, and to me it's not. A bit more a matter of personal taste on my part, but i actually feel lowkey irritated with Joker portrayals that lean too heavily on the "HE MAKES JOKES HE'S SO FUNNY!!!!!" act at the expect of every other significant characteristic he has, because like, funny is not who he is, it's just one of the 500 things he does. Sure he started as a fun character meant to bring in a dash of psychopathic delight to the early Batman works, but he has evolved to become so much more than that, which i like better than the more simplistic "he's a funny fun guy!!!!" characterizations. To me Joker is not funny, he is not supposed to be the way you pour salt on your dish but it's not supposed to taste salty, it's supposed to taste /right/. His jokes aren't the main dish, they're an added flavour meant to bring home a certain act: the performance. He's a showman, he's here to put on a good show, and that show doesn't have the end goal of being "fun", it has the goal of being iconoclastic and real and raw. But he can't exactly do raw, raw and sincere scares him, in a way he's a slave to his fear and tries to cage it and tame it and understand it the way Batman is scared of bats and everything they represent and he made them his very persona. Joker tries to be true and geniune and sincere but he can't, so he infuses his actions with jokes to soften the blow, shift the taste a bit. He also has the genius' disease; he wants to be seen through, interpreted, understood and reimagined, mirrored, and it's an itch only a certain fellow fucked up intellectual can scratch for him.

Batman deeply understands the value of a good performance and a viciously planned persona, he is a performer both as Bruce Wayne and as Batman after all. And he has the expertise to dissect and bring out all the nuance in Joker's performance, it's probably why he finds him funny. He understands the theatre piece, both when it's executed in a stellar fashion and when it falls flat on its face. noone else can bring this level of discernment to interpreting Joker like Batman does because what other villains do is actually less performance and more.... outright insanity. I think this is also the reason why Batman enjoys saying the most insane shit and making weird jokes at weird times and have everyone be confused by him, it's part of the performance. There are these little almost invisible acts that Batman and Joker catch of each other, that they want to catch of each other, "i'm shaking the persona a bit", like when an actor improvises a moment to keep the role fresh, but only the people in on the script catch it, to others it feels in accordance, not off enough to catch attention. It's one of their core points of connection and similarity actually, they both have their performances and they both wiggle in its frame, sometimes threatening to break through the confines.

[e-vay]

Evay QA Bulk Post 1

I’m working through my inbox but don’t want to drown y’all’s feed in my asks so I’m grouping as many together as I can. Q&A below:

MISC SONIC ASKS

Thank you so very much! I was trying to really combine both Amy and Sonic’s aesthetics. Amy is classy and design oriented so I wanted to keep that feel, but I wanted to show how their home would evolve once she and Sonic start living together. Sonic’s never canonically had a house, but he travels so much that I headcanon that he’s constantly collecting trinkets and souvenirs from all the places he’s visited. So I wanted to give them a very “worldly” design style. If you’re familiar with Uncharted 4, I picture Sonic and Amy’s house being very much like Nate and Elena’s beach house.

I love interior design and architecture but I’m not great at drawing it (yet). Once I improve I want to do a full layout of their house for my stories (and the future Shadora Fortress).

I really enjoyed the movies and I’m excited for the third! I hope they give Shadow a voice that’s deep and delicious and doesn’t sound like a sniveling villain. I don’t like it when they cast him with a very generic evil voice, I prefer it when he’s got depth. Honestly I’d be happy if they stuck with Ian Hanlin, he’s perfect to me. 

For the record, I absolutely love that game. Some of my favorite memories involve me and my best friend playing it. He ABSOLUTELY is an avid gun collector. I love seeing the memes of Shadow just rambling off about gun details. BUT HE KEEPS THAT CRAP LOCKED UP IN A SAFE AND UNLOADED AT ALL TIMES!!!!

At least for my stories he isn’t one to actually threaten to harm anybody for wanting to date his kids. He dealt with that enough trying to be with Aurora. But you can bet he won’t think anybody’s worthy to date his kids lol

First of all, I am ALWAYS down for Sonic singing his feelings. Like that is my #1 favorite thing in every story. Whenever he breaks out the guitar/lute I’m like “HELL YEAH LET’S DO THIS”

Secondly, that SONG omg!!! I’d never heard it before but wow 😭 I couldn’t love it more. I completely agree and thank you so much for sharing with me!

That is so funny that you say that. It was not my intention to make human Sonic look like RCS but honestly he is my favorite Sonic at this point so maybe it came out subliminally! Also I think Roger is just so damn handsome so I will take that as a compliment lol! 

SHIPPING ASKS

I do ship them but I don’t know about them having kids. I don’t really know those characters well enough to write family members for them and I wouldn’t want to do it wrong. Thank you!

I’m fine with any of your ships as long as it’s not with relatives. And as long as you keep my characters “in character” then that’s fine. 

Interesting! 🤔 I haven’t heard that pairing before but hey I’m certainly not going to tell you that you can’t ship them together. 

I loved Amy the minute I saw her so just from a superficial level I was like “These two are too cute together!” But I really fell in love with them when their story evolved and we got to see their dynamism in the games outside of just a cute little pink sprite in Sonic CD. And Sonic X really sealed the deal haha So many romantic moments between them in that show, God bless. 

Sonic and Amy were just making out, not anything more. Orbot and Cubot aren’t accustomed to seeing that so that’s why they reacted that way. 

I don’t have any plans on that at the moment. I like that universe and I especially loved how Sonic acted around her in it, but idk if I’ll make a comic about it. But I can never say never!

PERSONAL ASKS

I’m sorry to have worried you, but honestly I was okay while I was away. I went through a lot of major life events and I had lost my drawing mojo and was fighting to get it back. But now it’s back with a vengeance!

I plan on doing both. I know several amazing parents who do a wonderful job raising their kids and still follow their passion.

Thank you so much! I’m self-taught, but I’ve researched a lot of tutorials and references to help me improve over my life. The number one thing people need to study if they want to do comics or animations or anything is ANATOMY! You don’t have to take an anatomy class (I didn’t), but look up references and tutorials to learn how the spine works, how the muscles work, proportions, etc. Even if your characters don’t fall into the typical human form, you still need to understand skeletal structure and muscles. 

I’m not an avid listener but I do like some if her songs :)

I’m in the process of assembling that. There’s a lot so it’s taking time lol 

WILL YOU CONTINUE HHNF?

Yes I’m going to continue HHNF

AURORA ASKS

Thank you! Yes that’s pretty accurate. Their family is all about honesty and telling the truth, but younger Aurora doesn’t like to share all the details with Sonic because he’s so reactive with her and will quickly try to fix whatever the problem is and Aurora wants to learn to fix it herself. Amy is more willing to just listen to Aurora and offer advice if Aurora asks for it. Amy WANTS to beat up whoever is upsetting her daughter but she also knows the importance of learning how to fight for yourself so she wants Aurora to feel empowered to do that. 

Thank you! I hope you’re having a great day too! I think Amy is better at TALKING through feelings and Sonic’s better at the overall cheering up way of handling things. So as long as there’s nothing terribly awful bothering Aurora and she’s just feeling a little down, he’ll find ways to make her laugh. Sometimes that means walking in unexpectedly in a costume to shock her or dragging her out of the room to have a musical jam session together. 

Sonic’s also known to give people flowers when they’re sad in canon (he does this regularly in the games and in Sonic X), so he’ll bring her bright, colorful flowers to make her smile. 

In my AU, Eggman has already kind of peaked by the time of Boom!Baby. He’s softened a lot and isn’t interested so much in world domination as he just wants attention lol. Having Sage and becoming a father further helped me justify that with my AU. 

He's also particularly sentimental towards Aurora since he helped deliver her, so he doesn’t really fight the team anymore. He is more like a constant pain in their sides mucking things up. 

Sonic team is busy fighting other, newer foes in my AU.

Their biggest challenge is going to be the Time Travel comic that I haven’t completed yet. It’s hardest because not only will lives be put on the line, but it also touches on trust and when to let go. I’m sorry I can’t give you a more detailed answer yet but I don’t want to spoil the plot! And thank you so much! 

MISC ASKS RELATED TO MY AU

Yes I just need to draw them. There are so many dang Sonic characters hahaha

It’s VERY important to Aurora for her parents to give their blessing, so Shadow will honor that and ask them for it. I already know how and when he’s going to do it, but I can’t spoil it for you yet! 😉

They’ve had three litters. I headcanon that back in the day hedgehogs used to have litters (2 or more kids) all the time but that became less and less common in modern day. But I also headcanon that as the Ultimate Lifeform, Shadow was engineered to be able to… multiply effectively. So even though they’ve only been pregnant 3 times, they keep having triplets or twins. 

I do consider the First Kiss comic canon to my AU. But it happened a while before My Gal, maybe like a year or so before. Give them time to stew on that kiss hehehe

They just wanted to make a life change. The stars just happened to align at the same time haha

All the kids’ names are supposed to be based on their personalities or powers. Most Sonic characters are named that way, so I don’t know if it’s canon for Mobian parents to sense what their kid’s powers will be or not. Aurora has dreams that sometimes give her premonitions so she had inklings to what their kids might be like so she and Shadow could brainstorm ideas based on that. Also a lot of their names are outer-space-related or at least outer-space-adjacent and that was because Shadow’s a space man lol So he had influence in that. 

Sonic wants all his descendants named Sonic II so he’s no help lol. 

Thanks, I’m happy you like it! 

There are 3 litters. The first litter has the triplets Piper, Zane and Nova. The second litter was born almost a year and a half later and has the twins Aster and Blitz. The third litter was immediately after and that has the triplets Cinder, Diamond and Boon. All this information is listed in their character reference post. 

In the beginning the family mostly just stuck to ordering online and getting home deliveries lol. But if they do have to do a grocery store run it’s a full family event. The kids all ride on Shadow (see this post). Their house has two fridges to accommodate for all the mouths to feed!

Their life certainly isn’t boring anymore 😂 It’s exhausting but they’re happy (also there are 8 kids haha!)

Thank you so much, it’s good to be back!

Aurora definitely would have asked him about this, but at least in my stories Sonic became an orphan at a young age and I don’t have him with any siblings. 

I’ve had another person ask me who I picture Sonic’s parents as and I do plan on drawing a reference of them, but they’ll be unique to my stories. They won’t be from any other Sonic media. 

I don’t draw Aleena, Manic and Sonia because of a couple reasons. I never watched Sonic Underground so I don’t have the allegiance/nostalgia that a lot of people have to that show. Also for my own preference, I don’t like the idea of Sonic being born to royalty. It doesn’t suit him, in my opinion. That doesn’t mean I don’t respect people who have that as a part of their canon and it doesn’t mean I have any bad feelings towards the Underground characters. I just don’t draw them. I grew up on the games and later Sonic X and Sonic Boom so my stories revolve around what I know. 

It’s funny that you mention that ship because I only just learned about it from Starrjoy’s P!AU comic. Again I didn’t watch Sonic Underground so I don’t know who Bernadette is, but sure I’m down for Sonic having two moms. Families come in all shapes and sizes, so as long as they’re a loving parent or parents then I support it. 

They love all their grandkids and they love spending time with them, but I think in their older age Sonic and Amy go off on more adventures again. They never stopped adventuring, but they settled down a bit while raising Aurora. Now they’re relishing a second wind and they’re frequently going on worldly explorations.  

But they always make sure to attend any events the kids are involved with and are always home on Sundays for family dinner. Sunday night is dinner at Grandma and Grandpa’s! <— I have them always having dinner at their house on Sundays even before Aurora and Shadow have kids

To be honest, I never felt like they needed more. I had a comic where they discussed it hypothetically, but they’re content with just having the one kid. (Don’t worry, just because they’re not having kids does NOT mean they aren’t… active 😈 They’re very VERY much so!). I am okay with fan stories where people give Aurora siblings and there’s a fic I’m reading right now that involves Sonic and Amy having a whoopsie baby way late in life and adult Aurora is having to deal with that and I love it lol. But just for my own writing, it’s a single-child household. 

[mooremars]

Camelot 2023 Act 2 ramblings about the music and book and also the visuals again because turns out one post wasn't enough.

I still cannot possibly recommend anyone actually read this because it is so absurdly, comically long but I still needed to get even more feelings out.

Act 2, Scene 1: The castle courtyard one year later:

• "We shouldn't be alone together" like girl

• I love how she's almost exasperated by it

• When she fantasized about this all-consuming high-stakes love she probably didn't think about how exhausting it would be to actually live with it all the time

• Like having this conversation every single month does sound exhausting

• The way she's actively trying to drive him out of Camelot, Genny is so much and I respect it

• She's really doing her best in a way that involves truly torturing Lance, he should really do some soul searching about why he loves someone who treats him this way

• "I've trained dogs to chase you"/"And those dogs were fast.. the expression his bark is worse than his bite that wasn't my experience"

• Sorkin slightly breaking the tension of this scene which is so needed

• "You're not English"/"Neither are you"/"I think that changed when I became queen of England"

• I also feel like there is a lot to unpack in this exchange

• "And when would I do that Genny?"

• The angst in that delivery

• If Ever I Should Leave You is so gorgeous

• I think it was Sorkin who basically said that the show doesn't need magic because the songs provide enough magic on their own and this is the perfect example

• Jordan Donica is tremendous

• I knew him from Charmed and it took me a bit to place him but holy shit

• I may have actually seen him before, I'd have to check but regardless I need to be paying attention to literally any theater he does because I want to go

• This applies to all of them, who am I kidding

• Anyway, he's amazing here and I am probably underselling him in this post because I only saw him half the times and so my memories are much less clear

• And my reference is closing which was not him by this point

• And the outro music (? sorry I know nothing about music) is absolutely stunning

• This song is so romantic but also very shallow

• They're fulfilling a version of love that is all big gestures and big feelings but not necessarily substance

• Because they're trying to fill a void in themselves using the other and when you do that, you can't see the person as an actual person

• Just an extension of your unmet need

• Which is too bad because I think if they weren't, they might actually like each other

• But fuck is this song so romantic

• Every lyric is good, the way they're sung, I think I may for the first time have use of the phrase swoon worthy

• Specifically the end

• "I have a thrilling engagement. I'm giving prizes at the potato show. I'm eager to find out what the qualities of a prize winning potato are"/"I'll be at your side Ma'am"/"Thank goodness for that, those potatoes can be dangerous"

• The lines are so funny and her delivery is so heartbreaking, I am suffering

• I do just love Genny so much and she deserves happiness dammit

• "So the rumors are true, the chain of wedlock is so heavy in Camelot it takes three to carry it"

• Mordred coming out with the one liners immediately

• "He's willing to make any old man a knight I see"

• Pelli immediately threatening violence, beautiful

• The whininess of "I shall be busy tomorrow afternoon" and slapping the bench

• Fourteen year old edgelord Mordred

• Very interesting to have him be a year younger than Arthur was when he became king, really underscoring how young he was

• "I was raising by a mother with a fatally broken heart. Makes for a dark childhood"

• Like do we think Mordred is just trying to drum up Arthur's sympathies or is this actually true?

• "And when you speak to the king, you should remember you're speaking to the king"

• Arthur literally never insists on any manner of kingly respect but his son is a little shit that he hates, so he will

• Love that

• "Dispatch to the court, the king has a child he fathered out of wedlock. Problem solved."

• The blackmail just instantly failing is very funny

• Also would love to know how the conversation about this between Genny and Arthur went

• "I'm not ashamed of you. You don't embarass me though it's not for lack of trying."

• That's too generous, Mordred is embarrassing

• "It's always been my wish that you and your mother stay here where I can take care of you both"/"Stay where, in the servants' quarters?"/"In any quarters you like"/"Except the queen's"

• I wonder if Mordred is the one who feels this way or if he's just parroting back what Morgan has said

• "I was a boy when I met your mother"/"And my mother turned you into a man"/"A man named Merlyn turned me into a man"/"That's a new bit of palace gossip"/"No you idiot, he was my teacher"

• Obviously sarcastic Arthur is always a treat and specifically the facial expression and tone of no you idiot

• But just so curious about Morgan and Arthur because Arthur gets pissed at that whole turned into a man bit

• And he has been pretty chill with Mordred being terrible for this whole scene

• He's very much not comfortable with what Mordred is saying and this is the only moment where Mordred gets under his skin and like that is very interesting

• "In this place the law applies equally to everyone"/"Even the king and queen?"/"Especially the king and queen"

• You are literally watching the light bulb pop over Mordred's head and it's played perfectly

• Everyone in this cast is perfect

• The Seven Deadly Virtues has no right to be this funny

• "Making my Beelzebubble burst" is my favorite but really this entire song is great

• It's such a petulant performance and it's perfect

Act 2, Scene 2: The King's study

• Another amazing bit of scene change music

• The intimacy of them spending their evening playing chess together and talking

• Presumably this is just what they do on a lot of nights and I love it

• I feel like there's definitely potential in a their relationship through chess fic

• Someone please

• I firmly believe they are at like a full 50-50 split in terms of who wins

• "Are you really reading while you're chasing me around the board?"/"Sorry I didn't hear you, I was reading and chasing you around the board"

• And his okay in the middle like he knows he set himself up to get mocked

• Making fun of each other is one of my favorite love languages

• Also same structure as Arthur telling her it will seem that she's rooting for Lancelot to lose and she says that's because she is rooting for Lancelot to lose

• It's just a fun little dialouge thing that I enjoy Genny doing

• Makes her lines feel hers

• I love that Arthur has Merlyn's final warning on his mind so naturally he consults Genny

• And then it devolving into a philosophical discussion about what is and is not possible

• "I was 10,000th person to try, how do you explain that?"/"9,999 people loosened it"

• A perfect and funny line that becomes sweet and profound later on, I will never not love that

• "We have greatness in our grasp, humanity does, but for some reason every time we see it we assign the responsibility to some supernatural force. Or to god."

• You would think given the structure of the love triangle that Arthur would be set up to scoff at the idea that god has responsibility for human greatness in contrast to Lance being extremely devout

• And like I do think Arthur and Genny are actually on the same page but I enjoy that she gets to voice that thought

• This is the woman who first ran away and then threw prayer on top after as a little afterthought so yeah perhaps Genny is not the best catholic

• "Perhaps when he died, his soul transmogrified-"/"What did I just say?"

• Arthur immediately needling her and doing that stupid little hand motion on transmogrified

• They're adorable

• "I enjoy seeing you get riled up"

• This is what you say to a woman you're about to call your business partner? In that way?

• I don't know who to blame because I can't tell if the line or delivery is more of the culprit

• No it's the delivery, I have literally put in the audio as proof

• The audacity, I'm obsessed

• He's got it so bad

• Could've had this Genny

• Like Mr. Purity of Soul who thinks women can't possibly understand politics has absolutely never considered the concept of female pleasure, for sure has never heard of foreplay, and definitely believes the clit and g-spot are both myths

• I love Lance but proposition: there's no way that man is good in bed

• Everything else mean I've said about Lance has been out of love but I love Genny and she doesn't deserve mediocre dick

• And yet he's playing by Jordan Donica so it is also valid and understandable

• Sorry, I digress but gotta find the humor in the whole none of them get to be happy business

• But actually I really appreciate that even in this tragic narrative with big ideas and a lot of angst, they get to have fun and be fun

• Even as their relationship is about to hit its breaking point, you can still tell they're not just torturedly in love but they actually like each other so much

• "And while you're enjoying it, let me ask you this... how often do you write to her?"

• Genny is attempting to play it cool but boy is she not

• The little pause between often and write and then to her, oof

• It's so soft but like the hint is there

• The silence while Arthur makes his move on the board, ugh

• "I send a letter a week"/"Every week?"/"Yes"/"For how long?"/"Mordred's fourteen, he came to me when he was ten so four years"/"That's 208 letters"/"I have a responsibility there, I'm trying to do-"/"Do the chivalrous thing"/"Yes"

• It's so painful to hear their deliveries and realize they're having two separate conversations where they're both upset and they don't understand the other person is feeling the same

• Like Genny getting alarmed at 208 letters, Arthur getting frustrated and defensive about it and cutting Genny's last line off, and then Genny delivery of do the chivalrous thing like she's so tired

• It is so besides the point but how exactly was Arthur expecting the fucking soap opera and/or sitcom situation he's trying to create going

• Like his piece of shit kid, his ex who hates him, his wife that he loves whose feelings for him he doesn't have a handle on, and his bestie whose feelings for his wife Arthur definitely does know

• I know castles are very big but I don't think they're big enough to make that situation good for anyone

• "You've never asked me her name"/"Is it Morgan Le Fay?"/"How did you know that?"/"And she's a scientist"

• Genny has been holding this in for a whole year and she's finally ready to use it

• She says it like she's caught Arthur in some kind of lie which obviously she hasn't but I do wonder if she's had this conversation in her head enough times that she's already thinking the worst

• "He blames me for her condition. All the more reason why I want them both to be here at the castle. She needs care."

• That long pause before condition and the way he says it like maybe Arthur also blames himself

• And they're still playing chess throughout this whole thing as if they can pretend that this conversation isn't causing them both pain

• The sound of the pieces getting moved on the board while during the tense silences, yes

• And now we get to me being emotionally destroyed

• This scene is a roller coaster and the writing and acting of it is perfect in every way

• "We're more than king and queen, you and I. Don't you think?"

• He's so unsure, he's always so unsure it is torture

• The emphasis on you

• But also he does in some way recognize that she's upset about Morgan and he gets so close but spectacularly fails

• Genny is so hopeful on the "Yes, yes I do"

• Him stammering out and Genny trying one more yes to get him to come up with something

• And then that something is business partners

• In my brain I am screaming

• I have done nothing but make fun of Arthur for business partners (and friends) since I first saw this show and I will continue to do it now

• However I do think that for him, in the context of his experience being thrust into royalty, he is actually expressing a very romantic sentiment

• He meets Genny and tells her about Camelot and she doesn't think she's worthy of that

• But here he's affirming that she is, that she's his partner in this and he recognizes her worth

• They talk in the second scene and she mentions that as a princess she doesn't have friends

• And here he's telling her that they are friends, that she isn't alone

• And we see how uncomfortable Arthur is being treated as the king

• And he's trying to tell Genny that he cares for her as a person and not just the queen he traded for in a treaty

• He wants her to see him that way because if she sees him as just Arthur and not the king, then maybe he can tell her how he feels

• But also maybe it you are a man and your confession of love to a woman contains the words "I know this is an unusual thing for a man to say about a woman but" you have turned down the wrong path

• "Yes. Friends. And business partners"

• Her delivery is so ice cold, it's perfect

• The fact that she says this and even Arthur picks up on her tone and knows he fucked up

• Arthur trying to fix things and being interrupted

• His frustration with himself is so heartbreaking

• I am still screaming in my brain just louder now

• Pelli is great but also he is the cause of so many of Arthur and Genny's resentments and miscommunications, the man's a magnet for drama

• He's so funny in this scene trying to complain to Arthur and Arthur already knowing all of Mordred's bullshit

• And yelling dammit so many times in the most perfect way like me with every person who has ever annoyed me

• "Because England doesn't have a law against limericks"

• The fact that even though they're in the middle of this weird emotional mess, Arthur looks to Genny when he's talking about how Pelli's question is complicated

• His thinking buddy

• And business partner

• Also the idea that Arthur is so chill with the fact that he doesn't have the answer, that he's laying groundwork for future progress instead of assuming it will be accomplished by him

• Which is just inherently a concept I think I struggle with, that the world will not change in all the ways it should in my lifetime but the work now still has to be done

• So I like to see it

• Not going to write out another good Sorkin speech about ideas but I love this one too rest assured

• And we've had a nice little break, now we're back to chess and Arthur trying to force out something coherent and me screaming in my brain again

• I still can't get over the way they're still playing chess I'm sorry

• Genny saying "you're in check" with a different delivery every time to convey her emotional state

• The range

• Arthur just trying so hard to come up with anything again, I am personally suffering

• "What I feel-"/"I thought it was right on the money"/"Oh you do?"

• Then I think he says "oh okay" but I don't even know

• They were so close this is the worst

• Still chess

• "Do you regret being born a princess?"/"I'm confident that most people would gladly trade their problems for mine"/"But you're not talking to them right now"

• Firstly the show does an amazing job recontexualizing What Do the Simple Folk Do and everything around it so A+ for that

• But also Arthur is so empathetic in this moment

• "I know you're sad sometimes. That you miss whatever life you were searching for the night you ran from the carriage. The simple joys of maidenhood you called it. You do a good job of hiding it from the court but when you feel sad you-"/"can talk to my business partner?"/"Well I think I might be good at cheering you up"

• The delivery is so sincere

• He sees her pain and he cares so much

• He feels responsible for the life that she missed out on by marrying him

• And he wants to help

• In many ways, he is terrible at expressing his feelings but again in some small respects, he does absolutely knock it out of the park

• Even if Genny can't see it

• "If there was a tournament for cheering you up, I think I'd win"/"Oh as long as there wasn't a bird nearby"/"It wasn't just any bird, it was a white tailed eagle both times"

• The way they move from emotional conversations and annoyed miscommunications back to humor with such ease

• Arthur's bird obsession continues to be one of the best bits of characterization ever

• Genny making fun of Arthur's various words for peasants

• I love What Do the Simple Folk Do so much

• It's just perfectly constructed and the rhymes are pretty genius

• I love every single lyric

• And I love that this song gives Arthur and Genny a chance to be charming and reconnect after the second half of act 1 and the beginning of act 2 were so focused on Genny and Lance

• And then this scene has so much going on that it reminds you why they're the couple of the show

• I didn't need reminding because I'm trash for them but other people might

• All of the little jokes between the lyrics are so funny

• The delivery of "the very last thing you should have is encouragement" is so much funnier than on the cast recording

• Like what is this? So charming

• "My father used to say I sang like an angel who'd been blessed with a particularly pretty singing voice"

• I'm so glad this is at least on the cast recording

• She plays it so straight, it's so good

• This may be my favorite of the songs

• And the dance, they're so cute, the squeeling kills me

• I can't adequately express how much I need to find a bootleg so I can witness this again, the whole scene really but mostly this

• I cannot handle the way they say "Genny"/"Your Majesty"

• Fuuuuck

• The groan in the audience at "a letter from my mother", the pure expression of fuck Mordred

• "He's been waiting a long time."/"Yes"/"My mother was his first, you know"/"I had that sense, yes"/"They say you never fully get over your first love"

• Genny hates Mordred so much and she's right

• He's hitting her exactly where it hurts but Arthur can't even tell

• Also fascinating that Mordred can actually see the dynamic between Genny and Arthur and Lance so much more clearly than the people involved

• "You think you might possibly be spending the night?"

• Like her deliveries were getting more panicked but then this one

• Like she can't even believe what she's hearing and he doesn't even get it

• The long silence after Mordred says Lance has the queen's protection detail

• As people make mmms in the audience

• And then their last little exchange

• Ouch

• Genny telling Arthur what she herself actually needs to be told and Arthur having no clue

• "His queen's in danger"

• Mordred is the absolute worst and it's perfect

• The reprise of the Simple Joys of Maidenhood, so sad and I can't handle it

• I think this is her moment of just fully sitting in the idea that her husband doesn't love her and sees her so completely separate from that that he doesn't even understand why she's so upset to see him dash away overnight to see another woman

• And that he therefore doesn't and won't love her in the way she's singing about

• And thinking that she has the knight pining for her but it isn't enough and sets up her trying to make it enough

• She's grown so much since she first sang the song but she still can't fill the void of wanting this kind of love

• But also knowing that kind of love isn't enough

• I love her

Act 2, Scene 3: The home of Morgan Le Fey/Guenevere's Chamber/ Castle corridor - on that evening

• The into music to Morgan is gorgeous, perhaps my favorite

• It's hard to introduce an important character this late into the show and make them so memorable, even if they've been hanging over the narrative for a while now

• And still have them knock it out of the park but once again, this show is perfectly cast

• The tension of this whole scene is everything

• Morgan's laugh and then "Jesus christ it's the king of England"

• Immediately sets her up perfectly

• And we get something totally different out of Arthur

• I love their dialouge which I am once again trying not to just fully write out, I love their chemistry, I love how quickly their friendliness breaks down

• He does sound genuinely happy to see her at the beginning but as soon as he asks if she's feeling well, they start to cool

• I can't even pick specific lines because everything is such a vibe

• You feel the history and complication and the years apart where everything has changed for both of them and the way that she's the one person who knew him as just Arthur

• "I know exactly who you are"

• Like of course this one was gonna have a line reading that lends itself to multiple things but that's always good and I like it

• Genny ranting to Lance about the number of letters Arthur wrote to Morgan

• She finally gets to be pissed and Phillipa Soo plays it so well

• "Don't review my arithmetic in your head, it's 208"

• Even at her most angry, she still must make sure Lance knows she's right, very relatable

• "I questioned the king, we've all questioned the king"

• This adaptation has built in the knights discontent so well that it's believable that they've just been growing more resentful over time

• "Because one cannot legislate goodness Pellinore, which at the end of the day, is the mission of the round table"/"And what say you Sagramore?"/"Well tell me, when we're all equal will peasants live like knights or will knights live like peasants?"

• Their entire speech is amazing

• The knights growing angrier as they realize they're all on the same page

• The way that it all fits seamlessly into the story we see on the stage but there's also no denying it's about the time we're living in right now

• But again, not in a way where it feels out of nowhere or too heavy handed

• "I throw away the letters, I give away the money"

• I love the way she delivers her lines so dismissively

• I wonder how much of it is her feelings and how much of it is trying to hurt Arthur as much as he's hurt her

• "That part gets left out of the legend" I think is the first moment where Arthur gets under Morgan's skin just a bit

• Like I'm not sure what she wants/wanted from Arthur but maybe it was just that she doesn't like being erased from the story

• "What wife could possibly object?"

• I love her bitterness mounting leading up to this line and actually hearing her call herself Arthur's wife which is I don't think is something she does before

• "I admire the king's commitment to doing the right thing no matter what. That's what a man does, and god knows it should be what a king does."

• I love watching Genny justify her anger because on one level she knows it isn't fair to be angry

• That she really does admire Arthur's goodness and believes he's doing the right thing

• That it's not that he's going to see Morgan, that he wants to bring her to the castle, it's about his actions with Genny

• Or I suppose the lack of consideration of her feelings in maybe the most hurtful way where there was nothing deliberate, it just didn't even occur to him

• She's so hurt

• Everyone in this scene gets to be extremely mad and I love it

• "When he ran out of here, he didn't think it would trouble me at all. He didn't think the letters would mean anything to me. Or staying overnight. Mordred said his mother was his first true love. Business partner. He said it right in front of me as if I wouldn't mind"/"Do you?"/"No, of course not. It's just that it was the first time that it's been demonstrated to me that-"/"Your husband doesn't think of you as his wife"/"Yes"

• Everything is on her face and in her voice

• She's so hurt, so angry, so tired of not being loved

• And when she says of course it doesn't bother her, when she pulls back her feelings in front of Lance

• And her delivery of yes like something clicks in her brain, probably their entire relationship is flashing in her brain and she's building up evidence that it's true

• Lance has articulated exactly what she didn't know she was feeling

• And the music under it underscores each emotion perfectly

• Again Phillipa Soo is just emotionally devastating in this scene

• But also gotta go back to "Your husband doesn't think of you as his wife"

• Like right now I'm just thinking back to Arthur referring to Genny as French to Lance when they first meet and again when he asks her to tell Lance he's being invested

• While Genny in that scene and in the first scene of act 2 keeps referring to her country as England while Lance claims her as French like him

• I wonder if that distinction is one of the things that feeds into her (and Lance?) feeling like Arthur doesn't think of her as his wife

• That she's trying to keep proclaiming her loyalty and he keeps putting a border between them

• At least in her point of view

• While he's as always trying to show her that he sees and respects her as an autonomous individual and not a thing he owns

• Am I reading too far into this? Probably

• (You're not my homeland anymore, so what am I defending now - honestly that it took me this long to make a Taylor Swift reference is a marvel)

• Anyway back to this tremendous scene

• Part of me does wonder if Lance really doesn't know how Arthur feels or if he's in denial because it's easier for him if Arthur doesn't think of Genny as his wife

• Like he does make a point to tell Arthur in the last scene that he and Genny aren't together

• He's gotta realize in this scene how Genny feels about Arthur but curious about the other way around

• Or ya know, maybe he doesn't, maybe he's just as emotionally inept as everyone else in this show

• Don't really have a point, it's just an interesting thought

• How do so many versions cut Fie on Goodness?

• Like not only is it an amazing song but also it's sort of the whole damn point

• If you cut it, the ideals of Camelot are barely even a plot, it's all love triangle

• Also just want to take a moment to appreciate how gross the lyrics to this one are

• This is for sure my favorite sequence

• The intro speech to the song is perfect

• Them just getting worked up about how England is special, it is better, that they're the ones who should be listened to

• "Don't dare question our loyalty to the king"/"A king who encourages debate"

• Again I just love the knights' conflicted feelings about Arthur

• So it's easiest to shift all the blame to Genny and Lance

• This song is so good, this cast is so good

• "That day that I became king, my cousin gave me his tutor, a man named Merlyn. And Merlyn spoke to me of a great cause that I could lead. But I would have to stay unmarried until a young princess in France came of age"/"And you left me unmarriable, a woman with a child"/"I didn't know about the child until he came and introduced himself"/"You raise your voice to me? Have I displeased you your majesty?"/"Stop calling me that"/"I know all about the French princess-"/"The queen"/"and the grand cause-"/"great cause"/"I don't give a damn"

• This is a stupid amount of text that I've typed out but I love their back and forth here

• Arthur trying to justify himself and not wanting to take responsibility and them both getting angry at each other

• Morgan and her relationship with Arthur have been changed pretty drastically to the point that she's not even the same character and I like it and her so much

• I do wonder what the intent was here because I feel like you could read a lot of different things into their dynamic

• And to what that means about Arthur

• I mean I get the sense that she's maybe always been maybe a bit of an outsider, maybe always was a little more world-weary (or maybe not, maybe getting left pregnant while he became king hardened her)

• And maybe their power dynamic has been completely flipped but also maybe Arthur still has a hard time not letting it flip back

• Because like there's no doubt for me that for whatever reason, she was the one holding the cards originally and he doesn't know how to deal with her now

• Like I don't know if she's older or Arthur was always bad at love so she would have just been the more confident person but there's something there

• She obviously has a completely different point of view than anyone else in the show which I love

• And she gets under Arthur's skin so easily

• I guess because she's the one casuality of his great cause, the one wrong he can't right

• Also "stop calling me that" is so petulant teen

• And he was that when he knew her so of course it comes out

• "You seem quick to betray the king"/"I would die before I betrayed King Arthur"/"Yet here you are"/"I can't rise above being a man, a human man. I can't transcend it no matter how hard I try"

• My favorite Lance line

• Ugh it's perfect

• He's so tortured and so good at conveying that in his delivery

• He's getting some character growth

• Genny being both not wrong but also putting it on him so she doesn't have to think about her own behavior

• "My duty is to god, King Arthur, and the round table. I can best serve all three with my absence. It's a small price for one person to pay for a greater good"

• Ooh the self-loathing hits so good

• And Genny panicking because she's about to get left for the second time tonight

• The playing of If Ever I Would Leave You

• Because he is, or he's at least trying to

• To do the right thing

• Genny and Lance speaking French together, always good even thought I can't understand shit

• "No more talking"

• And the bed just being pulled out of the scene

• I just love how the song is interspersed with these scenes, this sequence is truly brilliant and the energy of it in the theater is truly unmatched

• "All the letters that followed-"/"All the letters that followed offered me room and board along with the cash. Imagine how moved I was by the chivalry"

• Ah mocking chivalry, a family pastime

• Again, I just love the way she goes in on Arthur's attempts to do the right thing over and over

• And again I don't know if it's because he wouldn't give her what she actually wanted or pure vengence

• "Guilty and alive once more" is probably my favorite line from the song

• "Let me ask you this question and I'm entitled to the truth. If there hadn't been a cause, a great case, would you have married me? No."/"I was fifteen years old that night and the next day I was king. I was anointed by the archbishop of Canterbury in York and those men think they put me in direct contact with the divine. There was a cause."

• Clearly in her mind he was never going to marry her but we know from Pelli that when he met Arthur when he was already king, he was still very much in love with Morgan

• More than 10 years (plus then a year that's passed in story) before this could be lots of different amounts of time but it could have been up to a few years into Arthur being king which is a long while

• So the answer was probably yes

• But he doesn't say any of that because his feelings don't matter, he's too focused on justifying his cause, that it was important enough to make up for her life

• And ya know Camelot is what's important now, Camelot is what he and Genny have devoted their lives to, he can't fail

• This is the scene where I just conspiracy board Genny and Arthur's relationship

• This is fine, I'm normal about this show, that's why I wrote all of this

• Either way I think it must really bother Athur that Morgan might think he's not a good man

• We saw it with Genny and the courtesans thing too

• Like obviously part of that was being in love with her but also I think it fucks with his self-image as a person who does the right thing which is his entire life

• And Morgan's the biggest crack in that in his mind which is why he gets angry pretty much constantly in this scene

• At least that's my theory

• I love that we get see him cracking a bit under the strain of being good and trying to rise above being a human being just like everyone else in this scene

• He's got a lot more moral fortitude than the rest of the characters so it just manifests as him getting to be angry and express it to another person for once but still

• He makes excuses, he gets mad, he won't accept that Morgan's version of events is also true and he can't force her to be okay with it

• I don't know, there's something nice about narrative not saying that making the choices of the knights or Genny and Lance is inevitable, Arthur does make the right choices but he still isn't perfect here

• "And I won't live in a spare room in a castle and be the used and discarded former mistress of a king... but I will be the mother of one"

• So like how much of Mordred's plans are Mordred and how much is Morgan?

• And you know used and discarded former mistress of a king is killing Arthur

• "And he didn't"/"What?"/"Put you in direct contact with the divine"/"That is made clear to me every day"

• Morgan did a good job of pretending indifference at the beginning but the more she lays into Arthur, the more hostile things get between them, it's so clear that if the opposite of love is indifference then they haven't managed to get over loving each other

• It's just soured and rotted but won't die

• More so for Morgan because she paid the price, she couldn't move on in the way he could

• "And I wouldn't want to see your face when you realize it didn't make a difference. There'll be greed and injustice and hate and horror. You can change the stuff but people stay exactly the same. No one whose opponent was human nature has ever won a fight. Human nature responds to-"/"Inspiration"/"Fear. And that's it"

• It's so cruel but also a great illustration of the ways that they're fundamental opposites

• "I don't forget anything"

• Another extremely loaded line delivery

• (Don't make an All Too Well reference, don't make an All Too Well reference, don't)

• The panic and realization of "he's not stupid" and the music that builds to it and Morgan's laugh ugh perfect

• The intro music to I Loved You Once in Silence is gorgeous

• Lance and Genny in white feeling guilty as hell is a good visual

• So much regret

• Just instantly

• I feel like the moment they've actually acted on their feelings, they know that it's not only a mistake but also that their feelings aren't actually what they thought

• Well maybe Lance doesn't quite have it yet in this scene but he gets there

• Not to repeat what I said about the first scene in act 2 but

• My take is that they intentionally deepened Arthur and Genny's relationship and Lance's character but not Lance and Genny's relationship

• They intentionally left it shallow

• That these are two people who are missing something and the easiest way for them to get that is to frame what they have as love

• I mean for Genny it's sort of obvious, she's married to a man she's in love with but that she thinks doesn't love her

• Lance makes her feel certain about his feelings for her and that's validating

• But Lance, I feel like I have thoughts but I'm not sure

• Lance has never been forced to reckon with temptation before

• And instead of facing that in himself

• He just makes Genny part of the list of things that define him

• A goddess on earth and a god above

• Along with the table

• And he can worship them all to avoid having to figure out who he actually is

• It's not him admitting he has a human weakness, it's a grand tragic love story that he can suffer for

• And suffering, well that's what lets him cope with whatever about himself he feels is so terrible that he needs to punish himself for it

• He's so terrified to look inward, so afraid of something in himself that he just finds his identity in other people and institutions

• And he can't hide behind that anymore because he's betrayed it all, every single thing

• I feel like this makes it sound like I don't like Lance and I very much do

• He's just particularly flawed because he's the only one who doesn't start the show knowing that about himself

• They all make choices out of self-loathing and fear of unworthiness but I do think Lance thinks consciously he's above that for most of the show even if subconsciously he knows he isn't

• He's the only one of the main three to not really finish his character journey within the confines of this narrative

• Arguably he only starts right now and finally realizes he's not the man he thought he was

• Again fic potential somone???

• Well that was a tangent

• Jordan Donica's performance of I Loved You Once in Silence is so heartbreaking

• "Lance I made a mistake. I'm sorry but you're a good man and I should have been nicer to you."

• I love that, I love that she takes her responsibility (even if she's already trying to cover up what happened)

• But also it's just the clearst indication that acting on her feelings killed them

• She doesn't need to push Lance away anymore to stop herself from doing anything

• I love that Lance tries to surrender peacefully

• He's willing to take responsibility not for his noble suffering anymore but because he is a good man and he knows he's done what he's been accused of

• And he only attacks because he has to

• Mordred's evil laugh

• Lance being slightly disheveled and grabbing Mordred's sword to fight off the guards and escape

• I don't have any kind of intellectual take, this is just a personal problem for me

• My jaw was on the floor when Lance started yelling back about coming for her if he survives

• Such a tense ramp up into Guenevere

Act 2, Scene 4: The trial/The Battle

• Guenevere has such amazing lyrics

• The entire "more than love met its doom"/"came the sundown of a dream" verse destroys me

• And I love every word of added dialouge, so correct to put it on the cast recording

• I feel I must explain my love for the staging of this song some more because it is so simple and I understand that some people are not into it but I so much am

• I love the way they close off the back of the stage for I think the only time in the whole show and it becomes claustrophobic all of the sudden

• Now Arthur is stuck in this little box in front of the audience while everything falls apart for him and that's what you have to look at so there's no getting away from how devastating it is

• We just get some full force Andrew Burnap acting and I love it, I think by now it should be clear that I would

• In other versions that I've seen, there's a lot more happening and we see Genny

• And we see Arthur see her tied to the stake and Lancelot show up to rescue her

• Which I do like in theory

• But we don't really see Genny have any actual role or even seeming to have any particular feelings about what she's done or what's about to happen

• Like she's about to die and I've yet to see a version where I have any idea if she's got a single emotion about that

• Despite the name of the song, I think this show decided this scene isn't about Genny, it's about Arthur

• It's about the consequences of his laws

• It's about the beginning of his new war

• Arthur screaming "Pelli I know" like we see him start to crack

• Oh to know who told Arthur and how he took it

• "Well do something"/"She's under arrest. She's been accused of treason"/"Arthur I understand that you're angry but"/"She's been accused of breaking the law. She has to be judged"

• The delivery of that last line, ugh

• He keeps it impersonal, it isn't about what she did to him or his pain, it's about the law

• The law they lovingly crafted together

• "What a magnificent dilemma: let her die and you're a monster, let her live and you're a fraud. Which will it be? Do you kill the queen or the law?"

• Fuck

• The delivery is so good

• Mordred is having the time of his life shrieking about Arthur's pain

• The killing the queen or the law bit seems to be mostly unchanged and it's maybe the best single line from the original book

• Although it went from kill the queen and your life is over to you're a monster

• Mordred has to know Arthur is in love with Genny, right?

• Maybe he just can't imagine Arthur could love a person more than he loves his ideals which I guess would make sense given Morgan and Arthur's relationship

• Arthur drawing his sword on Mordred!!!

• "Ooh careful your majesty, you wouldn't want to be barbaric"

• The fact that Mordred thinks that's going to work, that he can continue to poke at Arthur and he won't respond, he really does believe in Arthur's goodness doesn't he?

• "You are exiled from this court. Return and I will show you what barbaric looks like"

• Arthur screaming at Mordred with his hand around his throat is so intense

• It's so good

• Another gasp out loud in the theater moment

• Arthur is fully unraveling and I'm obsessed

• "I know my way out"

• It's such a teenage delivery and like Mordred is just a kid who feels abandoned by his father

• And as much as this is a tragedy for the three main characters, it's no less a tragedy for Mordred

• Aging down Mordred, also a great choice

• And again, just another stellar performance

• Every single person in this cast just knocked it out of the park in a way I never could have anticipated

• "Arthur please, I'm an old man and I know I'm ridiculous but for the love of god, it's Genny. She made a mistake, she knows that."

• I love that Pelli loves her too

• That he isn't judging her

• "She broke the law Pellinore. A law signed by the king. So say the people"

• He starts trying to be calm but then the fact that it's his law brings up the anger and then he breaks on so say the people

• He's written his own destruction

• And empowered others to take the decision out of his hands

• I love the dialouge in this scene so damn much

• "Neither you nor I nor god himself can stop this terrible thing that's been put in motion"/"What are you waiting for?"/"I'm waiting for what's inevitably coming next"

• The delivery of coming next...

• Like obviously he wants Lance to save Genny but he knows that no matter what

• No matter if she lives or dies, peace is over and the round table has been destroyed

• And he needs to prepare

• Also the way he frames what's happening

• It's not what Genny and Lance or even Mordred caused

• It's just what's been set into motion by all these tiny and giant choices throughout the show that have bubbled over into the death of Camelot

• "That's Lancelot du Lac out there and he's brought a battalion. Double the guard, triple the guard, those guards are going to die tonight"

• How many times can I just copy a bunch of text and write the delivery

• Because yup

• The lack of hope from Arthur is chilling

• Arthur getting dragged back into the war he worked so hard to end

• Just every line delivery in this scene is perfect

• Every lyric of the song

• Every acting choice

• And I love to see it visually

• Preparing for war isn't an exciting spectacle, it's tragic

Act 2, Scene 5: Outside Joyous Gard - on the eve of war

• The way they fade in on the eve of war just broke my heart every time

• I would love to know how much communication there was between Arthur and Lance and how

• Like how much of a role did Arthur play in the whole Genny not getting burned business?

• And the fact that his first question is whether they've been injured

• Even after everything, he's a good man who cares

• And Genny and Lance too, being willing to come back and die

• They're all good people who made mistakes but still good people

• "I assure you, if I thought it would end all this, I would light the fire myself"

• Absolutely brutal but like after he lays out all the death and rebellion that have already happened I guess brutal is fair

• Ya know, if I thought he meant it even a little

• "Lance, come morning some of your countrymen are going to be at the end of my sword. It's not personal, it's just my job. Stay safe Lance."/"I can't do that. And neither can you. Godspeed your majesty."

• I just love the idea of Lance and Arthur as these two people who love each other spearheading this war neither of them believe in

• It's so tragic

• Their goodbye is so understated which for Lance is like truly a great bit of contrast

• They've had enough big declarations, these few sentences just distill everything perfectly

• And then we come to Genny and Arthur, fuck fuck fuck

• The first time I saw this I spent like all of intermission and act 2 with a loop in my brain of but they love each other, right?

• I am unrepentant trash for them in this version as though that wasn't abundantly clear

• And Aaron Sorkin delivered for me so hard in this scene

• "Please let me die, Arthur"

• The pause before his name

• And now we get to the part where I start to get like teary-eyed in the theater

• "Two very powerful men did this to you... not Mordred and Lance, your father and me"

• That long pause before and me

• I love his whole speech, I almost typed it all out

• And they allow so much silence during it

• And the way he's like trying to hold it together but he can't by the end

• "You were treated like a queen but you were my hostage Genny, what the hell did we think was going to happen?"

• That he recognizes and actually admits the ways that his choices have harmed Genny, the unfairness in the entire situation he's put her through

• That he can see even through his own hurt and the enormity of what has been set into motion, his own responsibility for what's happened

• Like he's not right but he's also not wrong

• "And for it's worth, I've been in love with you this whole time"

• Not even looking at her so we have to see it instead ugh

• And then watch that long silence while Genny just like rearranges her entire view of their relationship

• "For what it's worth? Did you just say for what it's worth?"/"Well I thought maybe you'd like to know that. But I wasn't sure."

• Just smashing my heart into tiny little pieces

• After everything they've been to each other, after all they built together, he still doesn't even know if his feelings will matter to her

• While Genny is getting ready to lose her mind after for what it's worth

• They're so absolutely emotionally inept

• "You weren't sure? Why didn't you ever tell me before?"/"It doesn't matter"/"Why?"/"How could I? I'm the king of England. You'd have been forced to pretend you felt the same way"

• Again they are delivering lines in a way that is continuing to smash the little pieces of my heart into complete dust

• Like Arthur is again not wrong but not right

• His life is so lonely because of this crown he didn't want and his desire to actually be responsible with that power

• And even now he tries to get out of explaining that to her

• I love him so much is the problem

• And then her mmm like all the pieces are coming together in her brain that they've both been suffering for nothing and she is pissed

• I love her so much which is also the problem

• Incidentally, both of these things are also their problem so very relatable

• "Out of curiousity, if I had told you, what would you have said?"/"That I loved you from the moment I saw you, from the moment you spoke, from the moment you sang me that stupid song about the weather"/"It's not about the weather it's a metaphor"/"I know it's a metaphor"

• The way Genny overlaps him asking, she can't even wait for him to finish

• The way she says stupid song

• The way that she's like, I did fall in love with you over that song but also I still hate it and think it's dumb

• She says it with such contempt

• Icon

• Even standing before the wreckage of their lives, they still can't stop bickering about the song, I'm obsessed

• "I prayed every night that one day you would see me the way I saw you. And then you told me I was your business partner. Yes I was and I am in love with you"/"Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse"

• She prayed every night???

• For two years???

• That he would return her feelings???

• Fuck

• Like I don't know if I can convey how much them being in love with each other and thinking it's unrequited for two whole years ping pongs around my brain and just lights up all the synapses

• "Do you really think 10,000 people loosened that sword for me?"/"I do"/"So do I. That's a nice thought isn't it?"

• It is a nice thought

• I love the philosophy of this show, I love that there's no convoluted Arthur is actually the son of the last king so he was destined to be special

• These are just two people who though birth or circumstance ended up in this position of power and chose to do good with it

• Genny begging for just a little more time like the only reason I kept anything together was being in a theater but if feel confident that if I ever get my hands on footage of this show, I would have already been sobbing by this point

• "They won't let me let Lance save you twice so you have to go Princess Guenevere"

• Hearing him call her by her name is so deeply distressing

• Literally not once before in the show does it happen and it hurts

• And then they're playing Before I Gaze at You Again what an amazing choice

• Turning a love song she sang about Lance into this romantic moment for her and Arthur because theirs was the love story the whole time like brilliant

• That they chose the show's first love song and brought it back for Genny and Arthur being unable to leave each other without that hug and that kiss

• Like this song that is originally about the pain of unfulfilled love for the wrong person and then flipping it to the pain of fulfilled love with the right one

• I am so not okay

• Also people did very loudly applaud at closing when they kissed and I was so glad because truly in my head I was doing it every time

• "I love you"/"I love you too"/"God save the king"

• I mean these are some good last words to say to each other, I'll give them that

• The thing about the original version of the musical is that the ending was already a perfect concept

• Here it just feels more meaningful because they lay that groundwork about inspiring the next generation throughout

• Tom trying to con Arthur about his age is very funny

• This kid is so good and adorable

• "You're speaking to a king"/"I'm twelve years old"

• Like his comedic delivery, very impressive

• "And when did you decide upon this nonexistent career?"

• We get a solid 60 seconds of cynical Arthur and that's about it

• The entire concept of this kid being inspired by the stories of Camelot is just deeply moving and beautiful

• And just the entirety of Andrew Burnap's performance of that realization hitting Arthur

• I love a story that's about the power of stories

• People also applauded at the last show when Arthur says the stories were all true which I also just deeply love

• Arthur's I know exactly how you feel when Tom says he's not ready to be a knight and putting his arm around him, so cute

• "And you will return to your home alive"

• The way he says alive

• Like I think Arthur knows that he's not making it out of this

• Even if he would manage to survive the battle and Mordred, he knows his time is done

• But the the future is still there

• And there is about to be so much death

• Some of it from his sword or his orders

• And the rest of it of his men

• But at least this kid, he's going to live

• The reprise of Camelot... I just love it so much

• "I've won my battle, here's my victory"

• Not a new line but just such a gorgeous one

• The entire idea of the story of Camelot as a tragedy but a hopeful one just gets me

• It's such a beautiful conclusion that this version sets up so so well

• I love that we end on a speech again, just like act 1

• Also that last bit of music as they walk off, stunning

• I have attempted to track down as many older productions of this show as I can including the movie which was good but I am biased and I do sort of think Sorkin and Bartlett Sher and the actors and everyone else involved had the more interesting take on the themes and characters

• A Broadway musical is best when it has simple but impactful themes and big emotions

• And that's exactly what this version gave us

• The highest compliment I can give this show is that not only have I not stopped thinking about it, not only did I tell everyone I know to see it, not only did I want to see the show again (and again and...), but it also just made me feel inspired to see more theater in a way I haven't in a serious while

• I just love this show so much and I'm so glad there are some people here who can't get over it either

• This is what I have to offer, the longest possible unhinged rant and bad quality closing audio, that is all

[suzy-queued]

Fic Writer Interview

It's been a couple of years since I answered this as a writer (rather than as an artist). Thank you for the tag, @energievie!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?  Multi-chap fics = 5 One-shots = 3 Art Galleries = 3 Comics = 1 Unrevealed Masquerade Stories = 1 (which I will heretofore ignore so as not to give away any spoilers with my answers) Drabbles series which aren't on AO3 = 2 2. What’s your total AO3 word count?  466,541

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? These Foolish Games Under Lock and Key Estate of Blood and Trust Taking a Chance on Love Double the Pleasure, Triple the Fun

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes! I love engaging with people.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Estate of Blood and Trust because it's still kinda raw and fresh at the end. They need some time for the dust to settle.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? The Birkenshire Trials because they got to have the longest life together.

7. Do you write crossovers? I haven't yet, no.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? Hate? No. "Please explain yourself and why this character is acting this way!" Yes.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes, as an extension of the romance. Traditional smut. I haven't yet been brave enough to venture into more adventurous/kinky/weird smut, but I do so enjoy reading it.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I sure hope not!

11. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! Two of them: These Foolish Games and Under Lock and Key. Both by the amazing Pandar.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but I've beta'd. And I've created art for fics.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Gallavich. Nothing else has come close.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Nothing fandom related. It's a fantasy novel that involved a four-armed woman who harvested giant beehives.

15. What are your writing strengths? Character growth and change. World building. Careful editing.

16. What are your writing weaknesses? Tending to use the same phrases and rhythms again and again. Research (I do the bare minimum and know I get things wrong).

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I don't really find much need for it in the stories I've chosen.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Gallavich. Although, I did make Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle comics in middle school. Does that count?

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? I can't think of any. I try to follow my fandom bliss and create what I want to.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? How am I supposed to choose between children?! Out of Nowhere because I'm immersed in it right now.

I'd love to hear your answers: @depressedstressedlemonzest @juliakayyy @gallavichgeek @whatthebodygraspsnot @metalheadmickey @notherenewjersey @sweetperversiongirl