#can you guys tell the palettes significance

[ghostbite0]

"those who unlock the demon slayer mark, without exception..."

tdlr obanai's reaction to muichiro and mitsuri's fates as a result of manifesting the demon slayer mark will haunt me forever..... two of the people he cares about the most... doomed... and right after he lost rengoku, too is he to blame... could he have stopped it somehow? had he never exposed them to his tainted blood, had he never cared... could he have saved them...

[loud-sound]

(part 1 of part 2!!)

for shits n giggles, i tried my hand at redesigning dr stone characters (read: three)

i have too many emotions when it comes to this show's character design lmao. a vicious hate-love of the century

a couple of my process notes if anyone's interested: (vague spoilers up to season 3 of the anime)

there's a criminal lack of skin tones that i immediately wanted to take advantage of; and before Certain People start saying race-swapping; none is happening here, it's all just taking account of tanning and sunburns. sunscreen is a thing of the past here and a lot of time is spent outdoors in order to gather food

dramatic shifts in skin tones from what's given at birth happen pretty frequently in real life even with A/C and sunscreen; a huge missed opportunity to play with this in the color department methinks, but here we are (don't even get me started on the massive range of skin tones in east asian genetics alone)

so i played around a bit with contrast, nothing outlandish aside from giving Kohaku noticeable sunburns and freckles from (1) having caucasian blood in her to begin with and (2) not having access to any of the skin products our moderners would have

that being said, realism in the clothing color department was just about entirely thrown out the window. the blue dyes we know about are nowhere (naturally) near Japan, and here Ishigami village is in canon with deep navy on every villager; Inagaki and Boichi decided realism specifically here wasn't as important as color symbolism (which i personally think was a good creative decision), so cut me some slack-

so for colors it was just my personal taste on streamlining the palettes-

Gen in particular i thought would benefit from exposed shoulders without taking away how he needs bigger sleeves to hide shit up there. a lot of the guys have plain shirts and sleeves or just go shirtless entirely and i felt like it'd be fun to have him wear something in between to really push the magician/entertainer vibe

hairstyles were changed mostly to be easier to draw and to make their silhouettes just a bit easier to distinguish from each other. (hair colors were untouched except for Kohaku, purely because i have a personal preference for the more natural blonde color than any actual design significance lmao)

partial exception for Kohaku, cuz it annoyed me that the other characters say she has super thick, unruly hair...but then her hair is drawn no differently from everyone else's 💀

didn't wanna play into the stereotype of naturally curly hair being seen as something to be fixed (especially within the context of a makeover-), so i tried to imply chronically unbrushed hairdsjfsdf

can you tell from how many bullets are here about Kohaku how i feel about her design? last thing: body types.

Gen is supposed to be significantly tall, Kohaku is one of the strongest characters while being one of the shortest; it is very hard to tell that from their designs alone. it's mostly just the limitations of Boichi's art style,,,proportions that's i'm aware is nitpicky, but i wanted to show it here anyway 💀💀💀

smth smth disclaimer about subjectivitydsfsdfsd-

uhhhh, congrats for reading all that, have some silhouettes!

[basilly]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐁𝐎𝐘

|| ➼ boyfriend things

characters: atsumu, sugawara, oikawa, & osamu

warning: no pronouns, fluff!

a/n: sorry guys! finally on break for a little bit

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ atsumu lets you paint his nails- he even claims you need to do them for his game as he can't wear normal jewlery. he's just excited to match with you. it's a simple thing to spend time with you with but he loves it. he insists that you paint his jersey number on your nails.

paired with a face mask? of course! spa night all the way to relax his hardworking self. a little tlc with his significant other is heaven. although, when he tries to give you kisses he ends up smearing the face mask everywhere.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ osamu cooks all your favorite foods- our chef bby literally needs to be wifed up. he even feeds you as you work, knowing you have important deadlines coming up. he's the kind of guy to rub your back and give you bites as you work. if he has work, he will bring home food from the resturant he made before he closed up the shop.

he has a little cookbook saved for all of your favorite recipes that he's made. along the margins there are little notes of adjustments he made to your taste. something like "add a little more sugar, y/n likes it a tad sweeter". he reaches for that cookbook more often than any other.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ oikawa likes to subtly match clothes with you- not in an obnoxious "my queen" and "my king" shirts, but matching color palettes (though he would totally wear those shirts). if you're wearing a black top and jeans, he will wear black pants and a blue top. it's the simple and subtleness of it that makes him giggle.

he likes to take those pinterest aesthetic couple photos and save them as his background of your outfits. he's so tempted to post them too, to show off to everyone how cute you are. he also makes his cousin take a ton of photos of you two when you guys are watching over him- he's so sick of oikawa LMAO.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ sugawara calls you out of the blue, just to hear your voice or tell you something he just saw. if he finds himself with some extra time in his schedule, he will ring you up and chat with you. he takes every moment he can to talk, knowing you have very busy schedules.

the moment he hears your voice a grin spreads across his face, his entire aura lighting up. your entire phone call history is "koushi <3", but you wouldn't have it any other way. if he can't call you, he would ask you to send him voice notes just to hear you. it just brightens his day- and he would do the exact same for you.

[moodooivy]

Analyzing Alastor

I've been wanting to analyze our favorite radio deer demon Alastor for awhile. I want to discuss what makes him such a great character! First things first, what makes a good character. To me, a good character has to be entertaining and fit into the story/world setting in an organic way. I judge everything based on the 3 Ds (Insert dick joke here); Design, dialogue, and demeanor. It's easy to know what that means for a character, it gets more difficult with songs and episodes, but the actual analogy is the hardest to dissect since a character is the most vast. I will not be bringing up songs or episodes entirely for this analysis unless it is important to the character. Let's get to it. (Plz note that everything here is my opinion)

Alastor's design

A character's design is important. It has to be pleasant to look at and fit the character in a way that matches their personality, purpose, and who they are. Good character design should tell us at least 50% of who they are.

Looking at Alastor. What would you say his defining features are? To me, it's the ears, antlers, monocle, suit, and that yellow smile (I'm sure there's more but as of writing this I just got home from my first day of school so I don't want to spend an hour writing, sorryyy). What does this tell us about him.

First thing's first. Alastor is very obviously based off of a Wendigo. A Wendigo is a mythological creature originating from Native American folklore. They're most usually described as a cannibalistic beast that eats humans or possesses humans into eating other people. A lot of the times, they're presented as a deer. Hmmm who does that sound like? Alastor. In fact sometimes we can hear a wendigo sound when he's transforming to his demonic form. Anyway, anybody who digs into the past of Viv's creations would know Alastor was Vivienne's first creation that ended up in Hazbin Hotel. He was always a red cannibalistic deer. Though I do believe this is significant to his character still and am very glad these traits remained.

Alastor's monocle and suit seem more of a stylized choice. They make him look more at his time. More gentlemanly. Which was a very nice touch. It matches him.

(Look at him. Look at him and tell me he has a soul (Technically he doesn't own his)) One of the most iconic details about Alastor is his smile. The only times you'll see him frown is in single lucky paused frames. Design choices to the mouth like this can be touchy because if you do it wrong your character can look stiff and unexpressive. But I think the artists did a great job fixing this. Alastor isn't that expressive of a character, but it works.. Because that's the point. He's meant to be hard to read but at the same time when the show wants you to know how he feels you know. You feel his distress in the Finale, you feel his annoyance listening to the Egg Bois, you feel his pompousness in Stayed Gone. It's hard to judge how he feels in Hell's Greatest Dad however. It's hard to judge if he's genuinely happy around Niffty or Rosie. It's hard to judge how he feels when Husk is confronting him. This is good character design.

So I've spoken quite positively about Alastor's design. But it's not perfect. Let me say that if I had a choice I'd change one thing... I want to put it out there that I personally hate the whole "There's too much red!" argument... But I can't bring myself to argue about it when it comes to Alastor. And there's one reason why. I believe there was a missed opportunity with Alastor and it bugs me. Due to Alastor's old fashioned natrue I feel there was a missed opportunity to give Alastor a greyscale. Like old timey TV. I know he's not a TV but you guys know what I mean right? Or a browner color palette instead of red at the very least. That's honestly the only thing I'd change.

In conclusion, Alastor's design is honestly one of the best in the series. You look at this man and you both know exactly what he's about and nothing at the same time. You know Alastor is a sly lil guy just by looking at that constant smile. It's not exactly perfect as I can see how people would say, find that hairstyle a little goofy however. I personally think it fits him but yeah.

I give Alastor's design an 8/10

Before I move on I will briefly say that I personally prefer Alastor's new design. It just looks smoother and better. But I appreciate that this old design feels older and more vintage.

Ok, so I was about to put my full analysis in this post but its been two weeks since I announced I'm reviewing the show and I haven't posted anything related to that. So, I'm just going to split each into 3 and post this while I work on the rest of my review. Part 2 coming out soon! Next I will analyze Alastor's dialogue.

I apologize for this being so long, I just love talking about this show, it's so good! :3

Hazbin Hotel: Vivziepop

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Another Sonic twitter thread thing I saw but it's random questions this time

There's nothing I love more than talking about Sonic the Hedgehog after all.

I got into Sonic because when I was too young to even remember anything in any detail my family had a Mega Drive with Sonic 1-3, and I mean I played them a lot. I don't think I could tell you my thoughts on it then though because I was like pre-toddler age lol. Probably thought it was the coolest shit ever. As opposed to today where I still think that but like I'm way more autistic about it.

Quotes and themes are different things and I also don't know if by theme they mean music or like thematic shit so uhhh. Uncertainty of intention means I'll relegate myself to just quote, which is hard - in a series with so many iconic lines how do you pick just one? But I do think "what you see is what you get - just a guy that loves adventure!" as well as "do I need a reason to want to help out a friend?" are both very good lines that portray Sonic himself very very nicely. I'll go with those. Not strictly a final answer and I could probably make a whole post on just this question, but we'll leave it on the two mentioned.

Out-of-game I think Yuji Uekawa's adventure era artwork is my favourite, I think for in-game art styles I'm between Unleashed, Colours, and Mania.

I'll keep it simple just make him and Mario have a fucking platformer crossover or even like an RPG or something, anything that's not the Olympics.

You know my answer was very easily Live and Learn until Sonic Frontiers came out lol. Now it's Find Your Flame quite handily. Shit fucks harder than god.

A couple different pieces of Sonic media have entertained the idea of Silver attaining some sort of like heightened state of power, like ESP Silver from Runners and I think he's in Speed Simulator too - I'm curious about how far along he goes with that. A much younger Josh who cared marginally more about power scaling was interested in the idea of Silver becoming the strongest character in the series even. I think there was an animation in the Lythero Silver Campaign video (I've been meaning to watch this but that's neither here nor there) showing base Silver fighting Super Sonic. I'm kind of interested in that. How far does base Silver go if he's that aforementioned ESP Silver or whatever. Can he thoroughly whoop the likes of Knuckles or Blaze eventually? Perhaps even Shadow or Sonic? We're going with roughly that.

Of the 4 listed here I'd certainly say the OVA, it's just by far my favourite. SatAM has some props for its fandom significance but I find it boring, X has some props for being the most game-faithful but it's kind of crap, OVA is just dope. Even extending it to what's come out since I'd still stick with the OVA.

I used to be able to reliably name a decent amount of Sonic fanartists but unfortunately my mind has consistently blanked on that front recently. Official as a qualification lets me get away with saying Yuji Uekawa though so we'll stick to that. Jack Lawrence's IDW art is also really nice, particularly in Scrapnik Island.

I don't like blue shoes Tails at all lol. Like I think the argument amongst people that do like it is it makes him and Sonic compliment each other better but Sonic lacks orange on his colour palette so I just don't agree at all. Giving them the shared red is a lot more effective.

For least favourite I could point to various points in Archie's history as well as Prime pretty confidently, and stretching it the likes of Chronicles and Underground and stuff but I'd need to play more of them. Favourite I've got the very simple storybook games and Unleashed answer, we've seen it all before, although Frontiers has a pretty great Sonic too.

I don't want to skip any out of principal but also just so particularly don't care for Sonic ships that I've kinda got nothing here. I guess gun to my head I like Sonic and Knuckles' dynamic a lot but I don't need that to go romantic or anything so like, you know?

I just want multiple playable characters from the get-go and all of them to be as fleshed out as Sonic is, really.

There's definitely a lot of little things I can say but definitely the main one for me is less busywork tasks around the island. Pressing switches or parrying items or running in a hamster wheel, a lot of that stuff doesn't really play to the strengths of the gameplay, and I'd like them to work to correct and improve upon that I suppose.

Like the entire Mania and SA2 and 06 and Unleashed soundtracks. We'll go Crisis City specifically.

I have a lot of opinions on the Sonic series and its representation in Smash and that could also be a post of its own honestly, but just taking the question by itself I want Eggman a ton.

"Limited to teams" is such a leading-question type approach to this, L. Anyway yeah no variety is good. I understand the desire to stick to the teams we know, and certainly I think it's important to get those core things down before making a game where Sonic, Charmy and Omega are a team - but yk the cast is so expansive that letting them bounce off of the more unique faces is fun.

They cooked.

"Mainline" is quite the distinction here - I'd love to see more spinoffs handed to other studios even just to have spinoffs coming out, but I think for mainline I like seeing how Sonic Team evolves and where they're taking the series. I can imagine other studios making good Sonic games certainly, but that mainline clarification leaves me wanting to say nah honestly.

I have a somewhat decent amount but I mean that doesn't lend itself well to this type of post. I still like my Sonic has some old shack on Christmas Island where he keeps random sentimental junk from his adventures though.

Unleashed so easily it's not even funny.

Comics and just external media in general being included actually widens the net a lot because Archie and IDW both have a ton of good stories (haven't sonic the comic'd yet sorry lol) and I adore the OVA too but once again I'd point to your storybook games, Unleashed in particular, as well as Adventure 2. The Sonic 2 into 3&K overarching narrative is also very effective despite how simple it is.

Not an artist rip. Idk though the muzzle or something feels good to draw and harder to fuck up than the quills or something.

Honestly I could think about this one for a while too, but I think the one that always comes to mind - and this isn't even so much a cherished memory as just a sort of unforgettable one that I always go back to and think is kind of cool - one day when I was a kid, my brother and I walked to our school that was less than 2 minutes away, at the door were told the school was closed that day because a thunderstorm the previous night had done some fuckery or whatever, and then we went home and had the day off. And the particular thing we did is play Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity for most of the day. We'd owned it for a while at that point but the Riders games are pretty complicated for children even when they're as streamlined as ZG was, so we never really knew how to play it and frequently came dead last against the CPUs. It was this day off school where we really grinded the fuck out of it and just, got good at the game. Won a ton of rings and bought new extreme gear with them and shit, it was just a really memorable day for whatever reason. It's maybe not the most special, but it's what comes to mind when I think of cool Sonic memories I have.

Anyway that's all lol.

[cosmo-clown]

Uhh doesn’t cannon print not have a soul? Or is your print a different version of him??? Also Underverse ink isn’t a bad guy. Jakie has stated that. He is neutral!/nm

You’re right, Canon!Print was born without a soul. However, due to Swap!Undyne’s ingenuity, they created him an artificial soul using his prussian ink and determination, granting him the save-point looking star soul he has in canon!

However, I dislike that he could have just been “given” a soul that operates the same way any other soul (and begs the question of why Flowey/Temmie or Ink himself did not get the same treatment). I think it’s a missed opportunity to write away the potential struggles he could have as someone who is completely soulless like Ink in a different way that doesn’t make him a copy of Ink. I would’ve preferred it best if there were any hint of his soul not functioning on par with other monster souls (besides his inability to use a significant amount of magic, i mean something that you can tell by the way he acts).

Not to say my Blueprint isnt very different from canon, mine is a child of FruitPunch (polyamorous star sanses), and is twin brothers with Palette (which is important for reasons i cant explain yet 😉) , I’m definitely not rewriting him in the same scenario, living situation, and SOUL prosthesis that characterizes who Canon!Print is. Honestly, with all my rewrites, I never really classify them as the same character anymore, but I’m really attached to him still being a Blueprint because of his power-set, and the reason I changed anything at all was because of his SOUL situation.

[liloinkoink]

a few weeks ago i went thru the “where is your rider” 3L animatic by @aroaceacacia​ frame by frame in DMs to a friend to explain what i liked about, uh, nearly every image in the animatic, so just for fun ive collected and cleaned up my comments on it. i expanded on a bunch of the stuff i said previously and made it all sound more coherent. that said, this is a mix of analyzing the actual content (by someone who is not an artist) and just. pointing at frames i liked. 

we’ll start with these opening red frames! i am not fast enough to grab individual screenshots w how quickly they change (i just hit screenshot randomly and this was the one i got), but i think theyre all super pretty and i love the way the images changing is set so neatly to the song itself. plus. the red fading into black vignette and the slight smoky texture of the overlay is rlly nice. one day ill slow the video the hell down to see what the individual ones are, but the tnt minecart’s a favorite of mine, personally 

...i immediately went back and slowed the video down to minimum speed to look at the frames. here are some favorites

the tnt minecart! i mentioned it before but i am such a fan. for all i love the red army this IS still my favorite kill, sorry ren. this is a fun angle on it, too. it looks so small like this. i also think its really fun this is the frame which first gets the title 

i had never noticed this one before slowing this down but i love the inclusion of tango’s minigame! and the no pearl rule martyn got added, lmao

cleo beloved. this one is just looks nice. shes so pretty....also just fun considering this bit seems to include a bunch of significant moments from the beginning-to-middle of the series, inciting incidents for the red king to rise. cleo asking ren to keep this secret is definitely one of the bigger parts of that, so this is a neat one

when this one zipped by i’d assumed that it was cleo taking pizza, but looking at it now im realizing this is probably scar’s hand, isnt it? there arent stitches like cleo’s hand has, but there’s a scar more reminiscent of, well, scar. love when you can tell someone thru smth like that kinf of small detail 

this is the first panel of the entire animatic, which, fitting enough. ren gets his bloody crown. love the way the blood looks on this frame. (also, bc i was just talking abt minor details to identify hands, love ren’s watch)

i really love the way fire is drawn in this whole video. i dont have important commentary here i just Love fire. 

the brush texture for a lot of this whole video is rlly nice, i love the splotchy texture a lot of the backgrounds have / the fire here has. i dunno what its actually called but it reminds me of like, a sponge (i remind you i am NOT an artist)

obsessed w this frame. disembodied hands comin out of the grey. the & placed nicely in the middle of the handle of the axe. simple and very nice. also i love the edges getting lighter. this is just a real fun frame to me

now that pale white horse is our and we know this video is like, very much supposed to take place right after the trap set by the desert... like i know i knew this lyric was abt ren’s now-yellow eyes, but i dont think it really stood out to me till seeing it Right After pale white horse

MARTYN IN THE REFLECTION OF RENS GLASSES. scream. 

something im always fond of in writing is imagery about smiles when relating to a person’s identity... got a whole tma oneshot with a dozen and a half lines about smiles from a monster wearing the face of a friend. so i love this line, and i love the smile paired with ren’s glasses covering ren’s now-changed eyes. his eyes are different, but his smile’s the same...

love this frame also for obvious reasons (Guy Who Is Obsessed With Ren’s Execution) but god i just love the red mist on the axe. looks cool and is So effective in conveying how actively malicious this axe and the obligations attached to it feel. 

plus like. i know this animatic uses a limited color palette so blue isn’t in it. but it almost feels like the mist is so tangible it’s drained the blue color out of the diamond axe. which. Nice. 

also the angle is so fuckin nice for this too like. also, a down-below angle like this is one which i’ve heard in the past be referred to as the "hero's angle" (least when ive used it in photography?) and thats just. a fun detail to me, personally, for this shot

god. the axe looks so fuckin BIG when you do it from this angle. absolutely lovely shot its a favorite of mine probably (if i say that a lot dont call me on it)

i think me calling out this shot was definitely predictable Considering My Writing but [screaming and cheering] THIS IS SO GOOD. BOTH HOW ITS SET TO THE MUSIC PICKING UP AND ALSO THE FACT THAT THE CUT AND BLOOD SPRAY ARE SO CLEAN. THATS A CLEAN ONE HIT SHOT CONVEYED WITHOUT SHOWING THE ACTION AT ALL. I LOVE IT. another absolute favorite frame for sure

also love the red hair tie and streaks of red in his hair. but god. what a damn powerful hit this would have to be

i dunno what it is about this shot in particular but i love it. maybe the hair over his face? his posture? not sure but i am a really big fan. it looks like, idk, creepy? in a way the other ones of ren immediately following it arent (tho theyre also quite good) also the red lines on the crown make me think his crown is full of blood like. a cup. which is fun [since writing this i have set this frame as my icon on twitter] [i have also since realized that the red lines do indicate the crown is, in fact, full of blood]

i love him your honor

also the smoke coming in darker/thicker with ren as ren gets closer. ren’s face as Just The Teeth (wicked shape to your smile...).

the gesture he’s doing is also really fun like. very showy. its one i see in... a lot of scar fanart, honestly? which i think is fun. it feels really showy, absolutely screams arrogance/bravado. 

ive written before how i think a lot of the red king act ren put on was fear-fuelled theater, like. the red king was a defensive measure, a prey animal fluffing itself up to look bigger and scarier to fend off something that might devour it. a banner for a bunch of terrified people to band together under to be less afraid. that’s what this gesture is in my mind

JUST REALLY NICE. love ren as a red silhouette and martyn as a green one.

i reference this a lot later one so ill just say as much here: i love this animatic’s commitment to this limited color palette of red/yellow/green + monochromes. lends to some really clever stuff, especiallt when the colors are used to denote what life a player is on

OKAY. THIS SHOT...

AND THIS ONE

love the red mist/smoke at the edges. im so fuckin obsessed w that, it looks cool and ive made my opinion on this texture/effect very clear already, i love it. but also, i love the way martyn appears to be clearing it all away with his hand

like. this is the mist from the axe at the start. this is Red Life Bloodlust. this is ren hitting martyn and saying “go ahead, kill me again, you have the ability.” this is red name bloodlust encroaching in on martyn and ren. in the first of those two frames it’s closing in and then the second one hes waving it away 

none of that can make him hurt ren again

(...also i like that martyn’s hair is lined with red. looks nice)

and then the next frame its all gone. there’s not really any red at all.

...also this is such a good frame. look at ren's face ill fucking cry. the lighting in this is so good. i love it. i love the bright white moon, i love the shadows on ren and martyn, i love that one of the brightest points is ren’s dumb fond face, i love his hand on martyn’s cheek and martyn holding it there...

also im just realizing that those are phantoms and not clouds.

AND RENS CROWN. it IS full of blood [see. i got there eventually]

anyway love that the next two frames after this really nice calm one are the sandcastle fucking exploding

LOVE THE WAY FIRE AND EXPLOSIONS LOOK

I SAID THIS W THE FIRST FIRE FRAME BUT I LOVE IT. ITS SO NICE. feels like you dipped a sponge in paint and smushed it onto the canvas, which is a very wet and not-at-all firey way of making fire look, which makes it super interesting and very enjoyable

youd think with the writing ive done that id have a high stomach for injuries but i actually dont have any stomach for it at all, so, every time i see this arrow thru the head sequence it makes me gasp. love it. esp the blood coming out of the eyes, WHAT a detail. simple yet Very visceral to me. esp since it starts w them both looking like, pretty bored? it just GUTS you despite being relatively clean. same with his hand up in the air there as he falls

love this frame. martyn's run looks slightly goofy to me which ALSO makes the next frame of him being shot a gut punch. also the looming trees and brush textures are So Good. this is also another really fun example of the limited color palette being used to show lives. usually martyn’s drawn with his hair colored blond, but here, as he’s about to lose his green life, the only color available to him is green. also, not coloring his hair makes the fact his eyes are green stand out way more. this is the first frame ive really noticed it

also i like that martyn gets shot on the line “rested while living.” its funny

ABSOLUTELY ADORE THIS FRAME ITS SO FUCKIN GOOD

just. cleo’s eye being red and yellow. the harsh red line in the center bisecting the frame. everything about the skull half. i love this. ive got no analysis for this one its just sick

love the eye coming into the moon obsessed. also it took me till now to notice like... i keep pointing out how much i like how this animatic only uses green/yellow/red plus monochromes, yeah? something i think is fun is cleo’s frame prior to this doesn’t use green, even tho cleo’s green-tinted. there’s just yellow and red. but this one w the zombies does. 

this frame’s always been a little jarring to me and i think its just... this might be one of, if not The, most green frames in the animatic. the entire lower half of this one’s green! i dont have anything super analytical to say about that i just think it’s neat

i love this one too the dogs are so cool. i love joel’s red stripe and his fuckin... red mist. return of the mist! 

i also like that the mist-wisps dog shapes in the bg have red eyes. it could easily be the same sort of vignette background that this animatic has plenty of (which is what i think i processed the white edges behind joel as the first time i watched this) but instead they have eyes. theyre dogs, hinting Many More Dogs. all very good.

IN LOVE WITH THIS FIRE ASPECT SWORD

i just. my favorite color is red. my second favorite color is gold. my favorite palette is red/gold/black/white. this is a very me-bait frame. also the angle of the sword just feels like someone’s walking with it held out to the side/down. while that makes the epee fencer in me want to yell (put your point on target buddy....) it does look sick as hell

this frame is perfect no fuckin notes 10/10. fantastic and recognizable scar silhouette. fucking evil looking scar. i just love the super simple but super fuckin evil eyes/mouth. he looks unreasonably threatening

...and grian in the bg the frame after grinning just as evilly despite having yellow eyes. love it. love his hands on his hips its just fun. also the rings of grey behind them are so neat. 

also i love grian so every time he shows up i am like [points] <3

my favorite color is red so any very red frames will have my approval. love this. 

im also just realizing it sorta copies the fire aspect sword frame. sword’s helf at the same angle, but now we’re not preparing for war, there’s not fire ready to burn. we’ve had war and we’ve won it

the dead joel frame. he looks so fuckin small. hes got no dogs. hes on his own, hunted down in the desert, no help and no one hes even really gonna miss him. top tier. very sad

also... smth abt the dogs being white wisps before and there’s just grey lines away. very neat. im also realizing right now as im looking at this, is it the crater in the desert? the lines feel like he’s in a hole, the slightly sandy edges giving way to a grey dip feels like a burned-away hole/crater... fun 

...forgot to get the scott frame but i love how its green yellow and red. its a really pretty frame

GOING TO CRY. LOOK AT THEM..... LOOK AT MARTYN AND HIS FLAG..... ABSOLUTELY LOVELY.

fuckin. whats the word im looking for. starts w a v. valorent? v... VALIENT. ...valiant. i spelled it wrong [this was sent as like 6 texts and i condensed it into one line. just wanted everyone to see me spell this word so very wrong]

also like that ren's crown is noticeably bloodier

the bright yellow sunlight coming in from the side... the color/angle its at feels reminiscent to me of golden hour, which is my favorite hour to take photos at and also, on occasion, makes me emotional simply by Happening. i have teared up just by standing outside somewhere pretty during golden hour on more than one occasion in my life. so i like this frame a lot

the few seconds of the flag swaying in the wind. very clean animation. very nicely timed to the music. really nice to look at. feels vaguely lonely bc of the music its set to being so forlorn. rlly effective tone switch

gen is very good at using very simple visuals to effectively do and convey very complex and interesting and emotional things and also kill me dead

such as this.

i think so much abt them leaving dogwarts empty at the end bc they simply couldnt defend it anymore (and how coming to try to reclaim it is what kills them) and all those feelings are conjured up right here. it looks so small man. that’s their home and they left it

forgot this was the next frame. double what i just said.

every shot of the red army makes me [sobs] look at ren... look at him face...........

also i like that ren's crown is no longer gold, JUST red. everyone only gets the colors of their name, now, and the lack of gold makes the blood in ren’s crown stand out SO much more now that its the only color. even when his head is tilted back and thus his crown is harder to see, the blood stands out. 

plus. yknow. the yellow is for bigb, while the other red names get little red details (we have once again confiscated martyn’s blondness). plus the vibrant red banner next to them

also i. rlly love the stringy look of everyone's hair? and the fluff on ren's cloak. texture... esp etho’s hair i love etho’s hair so much

and ren. i said look at him face already but Look at him. ill cry. look how fond he is. i love him. how could we ever let anything bad happen to him

also as always love the background. i know its kind of minimal but its very fun. Texture......

i know this is the thumbnail but im in love w it. props for putting the red army to the line about armies

martyn's face... i love him look at him look at his SMILE. the little blush on his face. the golden buttons on his coat. AND his hair. love the swoopy bangs

and etho. etho my beletho. look at him..... going to hold his face in my hands. i love his little red dot eye and his hair

and bigb!! he looks so proud. i love the halo the moon gives him w the bit of green and the little blushes. this is a zero analysis panel i just love the red army 

ALSO LOVE THE BG HERE. REALLY NICE. the vibrancy of the moon and the shading on the trees are both rlly fun, same w the bright moonlight catching on the water

skizz. crying

ETHO MY BELETHO. I JUST LOVE THIS FRAME A LOT

...ive got to stop saying etho my beletho im Absolutely incoherent

anyway. god i just love this frame. the clean, strong red is so good against the whites and greys. its just so nice to look at

also etho's expression like i know theres not a lot there but also i really like the quiet fondness as he looks at his flags. and his hair. ive pointed it out three times now but i really like his hair

RETURN OF BIGB’S GREEN HALO... not the moon this time! just how to indicate hes a green life when his skin doesnt have any green in it! really clever

also the blond hair and gold crown!

...and now its time for pain speedrun

MARTYN BEING CLEAN AND THEN BLOOD SPLATTERING ONTO HIS FACE IS SO. WAHHH REALLY NICE I LOVE IT. visceral without even showing whichever death it is that happened. So fuckin good. 

also like... this frame following the frames before it its really fucking jarring. this right after the bigb frame? the red army frames? and then just immediately martyn, covered in blood? they didnt get to win! they didnt get to spend like any time together! they gathered together and they died!

i think another thing that makes this frame so jarring (and thus effective) is like. martyn’s core colors are green and yellow. blond hair and green clothing. both in his skin and primarily in this animatic. this is basically the first time we see him (not as a silhouette) without them (the only other one is the golden hour one, so. he doesnt have yellow inherent to him, but hes still got some yellow), which makes it even like. worse. subtle and devastating!

wrote all that and have much less to say abt this frame except like. bye etho </3 the way gen draws fire is still pretty

the music video being mostly static, even when fire is shown, until now, this fire burning and moving as it does. rlly adds smth. makes it all more real. also Real Nice

i also like the arrow in the middle is still visible. you can make out the shape of it, just vaguely. sick as hell

WAILS

also god the fact that as far as i can remember to this point all the blood in the mv has been CLEAN and fully opaque. that ren's blood on his clothes (and martyn’s on his clothes the frame before) is like, not fully opaque? its the spongey texture, not clean red pen. this isn’t paint. this is soaking into and staining his shirt. its really fucking nice

images that cause me immense pain. ive got no analysis here. tho i do like that the “will” that should be red is black bc its written over blood

IMAGES I THINK ABOUT EVERY DAY OF MY GODAMN LIFE IMAGES THAT REWIRE MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY IMAGES THAT RUIN MY DAY IMAGES I AM IN LOVE WITH AND WANT TO PLASTER EVERYWHERE ON EVERYTHING

THEY WERE SO CLOSE. THEY WERE SO CLOSE.

THEY DIED SO CLOSE. THEY DIED IN THEIR HOME. THEY DIED TOGETHER BUT NOT TOGETHER AND THEY WERE SO CLOSE TO WINNING AND THEY DIDNT

AND AGAIN. THE SMUDGIER BRUSH/SPONGE BLOOD. I LOVE IT. suddenly its not paint its THEIRS and its REAL and its. augh

everything i find compelling about renchanting duo is contained succinctly and wordlessly in this specific frame and it means everything to me ever

also its just really pretty to look at. harsh red/black/white/grey is the ideal color palette and i love how its used here. same w the gradient there at the edge of the altar

artistically and symbolically flawless

i Would eat this image given the opportunity

[vowled]

Kill Your Darlings: An Analysis of its Twists and Themes

A few days ago, I watched Kill Your Darlings, and needless to say, I became completely mesmerized by it. Naturally credible characters with well-crafted backstories portraying a true story of Love, Obsession and Murder, it's everything a person could ask for in a movie. The colour palette of the movie radiates comfort and the sound track takes you back in time when these two bright young men were falling in love. Right from the start it was apparent that there were many themes in the undercurrent of the movie, and these were such that required some amount of thoughtful contemplation. And I was incredibly sorry to not find any post or review which critically discussed the themes of the movie and did it justice- so after doing some reading and digging up as much as I could, here I am making an attempt to analyze the twists and themes of the story.

The Crucial Plot-twist

The Night In Question- why the movie's recounting of the events is fictitious:

When faced with the prospect of writing the deposition for Lucian, Allen tried his best to gather information about the events that led to David's murder. However, it proved to be a difficult feat as Lucien himself would not speak much about it clearly. So he pieced together what he could from the bits of information he got. However, we see Lucian vehemently opposing the deposition written by Allen and claiming it to be false. After some thought, I find that I believe Lucian's claims. Most of the following arguments are rooted in the fact that Lucien's relationship with David was an abusive one, where David basically groomed Lucian and was a sexual predator. I suggest reading my post here to gain more insight about how the abuse affected him.

"You weren't there, you don't know what happened." These words right here- they're the words of a victim. Being subjected to a form of sexual abuse myself, I found these words hitting me like a brick ton. These are words coming from a pained soul that refuses to recount traumatic incidents. He's practically saying that the abuse was so bad he had to kill his abuser to be free from it.

Even after Allen saw first-hand what a total creep David could be, even after knowing the man had stalked Lucian across multiple cities, he had to ask Lucian why the latter killed David when he "could have run". This tells me he couldn't exactly relate to Lucian's situation and wasn't very keen on believing him. Although he displayed a moment of intimate affection, there's still a lingering feeling of yeah but he broke my heart inside him. After learning how Lucian drowned David, he even begins questioning if he should help him at all. At this point, Allen doesn't trust Lucian enough to actually care how accurate the story is. So he wrote what he could, what he felt right. But even he couldn't condemn his friend/first love to such a fate as prison, so eventually he submitted it as his final paper. In all honesty, I thought that turning it in was a brilliant move, and one which also further proved that the "once you loved him too" version was mostly fanciful fiction.

Throughout the movie, sequences have been played in reverse frames (and I found this so pleasing) and from the nitrogen-inhaling scene, we know that these sequences designated memories playing out in Allen's head or his subconscious creating dreamscapes. And here's the catch- the entire scene of Lucian taking a walk with David and eventually killing him began with frames played in reverse order. This gives the absolute proof that the movie's depiction of the events were fictitious.

Allen's P.O.V. of the events mainly relied on the argument that at some point, Lucian genuinely loved and needed David. This couldn't be further away from the truth. When you're 14 and and being groomed and coaxed by an older guy, a lot many things could feel like love because you haven't experienced them before; but in reality, it's never love, it just is another form of violence.

Themes running through the movie

"There can be no Creation before Imitation"

We see Professor Steves saying this at the beginning of the movie, hinting that it would be a theme in the story. This statement is reflected throughout Allen's progression and development as a poet:

In the beginning, we see him being hugely influenced by his father's works and possibly trying to imitate him through poetic devices such as consonance.

Next, we see him imitating Professor Stevens' style of writing in his poem "the rose that scents the evening air, grows from by beloved's hair" which Lucian outright criticizes.

It is only with the poem Allen recites to Lucian on the boat that he starts developing some sort of originality. That poem in particular is directly drawn from his personal experiences and delivers splendidly.

This development continues as he proceeds to write "The Night In Question" wherein he brilliantly describes his opinion of how things went down. It was this streak that would eventually propel him to write his most celebrated poem, "Howl".

The Circle of Life and How Allen Breaks it

We see Lucian telling Allen how "Life is only interesting if it is wide" and about Yeats' "Circle of Life". As displayed by the linked document, turns out the circle of life is quite complex a thing, and the movie displays a lay-man's version of it. As Lucian tells about it to Allen, unbeknownst to them both, Allen also enters the circle and changes the turn of events:

It is obvious that at the party at David's, Allen was a misfit. David even goes so far as to literally call him out and point how unremarkable he was, but says how given the correct circumstances, even Allen could change things. And what's extraordinary is exactly this happens next: the liquor runs out in David's party and Allen suggests they should change the venue of the party- hence hijacking David's party!

We see Allen's life widen as he becomes closer to Lucian and starts doing things he'd never done before. At the same time, he also plays an important role in changing Lucian's life as well. It's Allen who suggests at first that Lucian should break up with David and stop taking his help. Later in the movie, after learning about David's obsessive behaviour, it's again Allen that said "we should get rid of him". Again, here we see some foreshadowing. Allen could have worded it in any probable way, and yet he suggested getting rid of David which subtly implied killing him. I do believe that this happened to become a subliminal suggestion to Lucian and furthered his murderous intent.

Hence, although Lucian radically changes Allen's life, the latter does so too in unlikely and unexpected ways.

Sacrifices (and Rituals?)

Since the beginning of the movie, we know that the characters are all extraordinary men and that they are capable of something revolutionary. But it was apparent that all of them would need a catalyst to set things in motion- a sacrifice of some sort which would help them break their moulds and free their inner poet. Allen's love for Lucian and his wish to impress him did make him work toward become better at writing. It was the fear of completely losing Lucian to Jack that made Allen put all his effort into writing, and made him come up with his best work yet - here, the fear acted as the catalyst.

However, the most significant thing in connection to this happened in this scene where Lucian cuts both of their palms and holds them up together - this can be considered a Blood Ritual.

"A blood ritual is any ritual that involves the intentional release of blood. Blood rituals often involve a symbolic death and rebirth, as literal bodily birth involves bleeding. Basic to both animal and human sacrifice is the recognition of blood as the sacred life force in man and beast. The participants may regard the release of blood as producing energy useful as a sexual, healing, or mental stimulus. In other cases, blood is a primary component as the sacrifice, or material component for a spell."

The fact that this event took place inside Allen's head during a trippy session outlines how Allen had subconsciously taken a blood oath with Lucian to further The New Vision. This process of developing their revolutionary ideas would successfully progress for the rest of the movie; however, before its completion, the oath demanded a sacrifice- and the murder of David became this blood sacrifice.

"With Death comes Rebirth"

In the first half of the movie we see the initiation of this theme; after they've agreed upon to bring up something revolutionary, Allen talks about how rebirth comes only after death, and in their naivety, they play out a pseudo-suicide scene to imitate death. Little did they know greater sacrifices would have to be made. Eventually as events play out, we come to realise that it is David's death that became the cause and medium for their rebirth- both academic and intra-personal. Jack and Bill co-wrote the book "And the Hippos Were Boiled in Their Tanks" about the murder of David Kammerer, and eventually rose to fame, while Allen became popular with "Howl and Other Poems", none of which could have been initiated/inspired without David's death. As for their personal growth, none of them were the same as they were before the affair. I like to think all of them changed for the better. Lucian must have finally felt a sense of relief after getting rid of his abuser, while Allen finally took-off his rose-coloured glasses, saw Lucian under a more critical light, and developed a sense of self-esteem.

A Study in Violence (I was unsure whether to include this point in this analysis or not due to the violent nature of it. But I figure this analysis would remain incomplete should I leave it out. So here it goes..) The sequence from 1:10:00 to 1:12:00 was an in-depth survey of Violence and how it can occur in different forms. In particular, it focused on how any form of penetration is intimately violating.

We see a lonely Allen being so lost that he's about to have sex with a complete stranger. This itself is very unlike him, who in the beginning of the movie was shying away from Lucian kissing an unknown girl. A few sequences later we see how he wasn't very comfortable with this idea (he wanted to turn off the lights but the other guy turned them on) and yet he was made to shift into a position he did not prefer and hence was made to have rough sex.

We see Bill looking very solemn and injecting drugs into his hands.

We see the violent altercation between Lucian and David. We see David forcing himself on Lucian and eventually being stabbed by him.

We see Jack recieving the news of the death of his friend.

In this way, we see every member of the group being exposed to some form of violence, be it sex, drugs, physical altercations or death.

First Love and its aftermath First love is also an important theme of the movie as it shows how one's first love has the capacity to radically change a person from within:

Allen's first love changed him from the shy, people-pleasing always-upright persona to the bold, radical, critical and unafraid person he became at the end of the movie.

Allen's discovery of his own style of writing can also be majorly attributed to Lucian's criticism of his rhyme-schemes.

All in all, it was his love for Lucian that drove him to become a more out-going person and ignited the mischief in his spirit, while the heartbreak of realising Lucian didn't feel the same for him also lent him invaluable insight and allowed him to develop confidence and a sense of self-esteem, which would play a significant role in him eventually becoming his own person.

While Allen's first love furnished him with the overall better things in life, the same could not be said for Lucian, sadly. Lucian's first love reminded us how oppressive love can become if the other person isn't suited-well for us; it showed us how sometimes love and obsession are separated by a thin line, and how dangerous it becomes when the line is crossed.

Lucian's story also showed us how sometimes a relationship can be more abuse than love, and when that happened, how easy it became to confuse violence with love.

The most significant message that the theme of first-love portrays is that there will always be consequences.

With this, I bring my arguments and analyses to a close. I hope a future (or even past) lover of the movie happens to stumble upon this someday and learn something fascinating about the movie (or reignite their love for it). Thank you for reading this far!

[P.S. an uplifting fact: in real life, Lucian, Allen, Jack and Bill each got the type of life they wished for, and remained friends for the rest of their lives :) ]

[kuroo-shitsurou]

Auxilium (College!Xiao x College!Reader)

TW: mentions blood, depression, anxiety

note: it's my first time writing and posting something on tumblr so im sorry if it's bad!! reader is gn hehe.

Late February was never a good time for Xiao.

It was the second month of the year; People were starting to adjust and adapt to the ever-changing and progressing timeline. Although, he never really understood the concept of the "New year, new me!" shtick. Humans make decisions that eventually shape their personalities. What does a new year have anything to do with that? Does a change in the year automatically make you a good person? Does it make you less of an asshole than you might already be? He never really understood.

He found it rather silly, actually. Whenever a new year rolls around, Xiao would mutter silent curses to himself because he'd write the wrong year on his papers. Other than that, there wasn't any significant changes he made in his daily routine. He was still the same Xiao; The same anxious, mildly depressed, and coffee-high art major Xiao.

Now, Xiao was a respected figure in their college (or at least, that's what he was told). He was one of the most talented artists at Tokyo University, and professors have been eyeing him for a scholarship overseas (he, along with his brooding and mysterious senior, Diluc). His keen eye for details always produce great results as most of his portraits are featured in the university's gallery of students' greatest works. Not to mention, one of his larger canvas works were displayed at the Tokyo Museum, making him one of the youngest artists to have their art showcased there.

Admittedly, Xiao was aware of how people admired his talent. Unfortunately, due to a rough childhood where his parents barely showed him any love and affection, he had trouble reflecting his true emotions onto other people. That's why other art majors often labelled him as a self-absorbed, egotistical prick.

Xiao was the last person you'd want to compliment. It's not that he'd be a dick about it or that he'd scowl at you and act as if he was better than you in every way possible. It wasn't like that at all. It's simply because Xiao doesn't know how to handle compliments. He'll still keep his stoic face, lips pressed in a straight line, but deep inside, he'd be flustered to bits. He'd try to internalize his reply, stitching together the right words to express his gratitude, but it would always take him a few minutes. The person who complimented him would've already left after he finally constructed the sentence in his head. Not that he wasn't used to it

This led to Xiao earning his current reputation, as stated earlier. He was already expecting the rest of his college years to be spent alone in his studio, working on his artworks during the wee hours of the night, high on the fumes of his paint palette and his exhausted coffee machine.

Until you came.

Kaoru was... eccentric. You were loud, you were moody. He felt like you'd be the type of person he'd hate dealing with just because you was unpredictable. You were like the rain, and Xiao hated the rain.

He must have an Archon's cursed tongue, because he got paired up with you during the first semester of their second year in college. You were a familiar name to him, as you were in the same course since the first year, but he barely knew anything about you since you were in different classes.

"Hey, Xiao! I'm _____. I hope we can be good friends by the end of the semester!" His memory of your bright smile still remains vivid in his head. He wasn't really a brooding type like Diluc, but Xiao liked to believed that he presented himself as a silent person who had no intentions of interacting with other people. So, how were you so bubbly around him? Because she was forced to do so? You were to be his partner for the whole semester, after all. Maybe it was all formalities. Yeah, that's probably it.

"Hm." Xiao gave a nod in her direction, acknowledging your existence. you heard from your friends that the young artist didn't have a pleasing personality, but you weren't expecting to be shutdown from the get-go.

"Mind if I sit beside you?"

Again, a light nod.

You felt the awkward tension between you and Xiao, and you hated it. You were a person who hated it when people are uncomfortable in your presence. You didn't want to be a bother, and you did your best to make everyone like you. Not that you were a people pleaser, nor an attention hog, but you just wanted to get along with everyone.

The lecture was going to begin in twenty minutes, so the lecture hall was yet to be filled with people. You took the opportunity to strike up a conversation with the amber eyed man beside you, who was typing away on his laptop. Something about color theory and how it affects the perspective of people on different art types? You couldn't really see that well. He was a fast typer.

"So, Xiao, I heard that your painting was displayed in the Tokyo Museum last year. It must have been an honor. I was at the unveiling last year and I saw it up-close." You started off, testing the waters.

"And what did you think of it?" Xiao cringed internally. He meant to genuinely ask for your feedback regarding his art, but it sounded so harsh that he wanted to punch himself when he saw you wince (or maybe you shuddered because it was cold and you were wearing a sleeveless top? His nerves were getting the better of him at this point).

"Well, a lot of my friends told me that it wasn't anything special,"

Ouch.

"It was a large canvas. I can still remember how it looks. But, maybe that's because I'm at the museum every two weeks," You laughed. You noticed how Xiao's breathing noticeably changed after you started your sentence, and you have to admit that it sounded a bit too mean.

"You know, Xiao. My friends told me that your art was simple. Anyone could have done it. But honestly, they couldn't be more wrong. I love how your piece was painted. Auxilium. I'll never forget what you called it. That's... Help, right?"

At first, Xiao didn't want to listen to this person ramble about an art piece he made during one of the lowest points of his life.

His anti-depressants had run out during that one Christmas. It was 2:47 in the morning. He had morning classes the following day. He had a project to submit, but he was unable to continue working because of the unbearable pain in his chest. His head was throbbing. Voices were invading his mind. Flashbacks of his parents' negligence taunted him. He rushed to grab a glass of water, chugging it down in almost three chugs. He slammed the glass back onto the counter, smashing it into tiny little splinters and cutting himself in the process. His hand was bleeding, there were bits of glass on his counter and on his floor, but he couldn't care less. He was heaving, his breathing was unsteady, he wanted to die right then and there. His vision became blurry, but he rushed back to his studio.

With a bleeding hand, he picked up his brush and began to tear into his canvas. Not literally, but he started to create strokes onto the blank canvas. Different colors, different textures (he swore some of his blood got blended in with the area where he painted the sunrise, but it's fine. No one was going to notice, right?). He screamed and cried, wanting to throw the entire easel out his window.

It was Christmas. He was alone in his apartment. His anti-depressants ran out. He was having a panic attack.

That night led him to having one of the worst breakdowns he could remember, but he also ended up with a gorgeous painting that nabbed him a place in the Tokyo Museum.

"Help," Your voice echoed in his ears, snapping him out of his trance.

"People can tell me that it's nothing more than a simple painting, but the way that the sunrise was only showing in a segmented part of the canvas? The way that there were hints of red? It kind of reminded me how a new day can resemble hope but still contain hurt. Like, the promise of a fresh start isn't guaranteed a good one, right?"

Your words rang in his ears like a gong being hit continuously. He wanted to cry. People always complimented him and congratulated him about being recognized by art critics and national museums, but none of them ever really stopped to talk to him about his art. They were there for his recognition- not his work.

"I mean, you could begin with a fresh start, but wouldn't the remnants of yesterday still take a toll on your tomorrow?"

"Hm. Interesting take. To be honest, those specks could have been my blood." Xiao spoke up, to your surprise. A small smile formed on your face. Maybe this guy wasn't so bad after all.

"My hand was cut up when I was painting that," He added quietly, not mentioning why his hand was in that state. "I think I accidentally added too much concentrated red. I couldn't blend it out the way I originally planned."

"Oh? But that makes it all the more great, though!" You beamed, "Maybe it was an Archon guiding you? I don't really believe in that stuff, but acknowledging some divine intervention once in a while can't be all bad, no?" You laughed.

"I guess you're right." For the first time in a while, Xiao actually gave someone else a small smile. It wasn't really a smile per se, but his lips curved even the slightest bit upward, and you decided that it was a win for you.

-

Fast forward to the second semester of their third year.

Late February was never a good time for Xiao.

It was the second month of the year; People were starting to adjust and adapt to the ever-changing and progressing timeline. Although, he never really understood the concept of the "New year, new me!" shtick.

It had been years since he was clinically-diagnosed with mild depression. So, why was he still that way? Shouldn't new years help him be a better person? Or something like that. Why was he still like this?

Late February meant the end of one semester, and the start of another.

What else did that mean?

His semestral feedback report (he refused to call it a report card. What was he, high school?).

"Xiao? Are you here? I bought almond tofu from Xiangling's place. Sorry for barging in, you weren't answering my calls." He heard your voice from the kitchen and he glanced at the clock on his studio's wall.

1:37 AM.

You were at Xiangling's place because you were working on a report about the history of acrylic paints or whatever it was. You were supposed to go home, but you still dropped by his apartment. He checked his phone.

[ 14 missed calls. ]

Yikes.

"I'm here." He answered meekly, but loud enough for you to hear. He felt tired. Defeated, maybe. He was blankly staring at the canvas in front of him. He has sketched the base of your face and upper body. He was planning on painting a portrait of his beloved to decorate his room with, but he couldn't find the energy to continue.

He could hear the soft "thud"s of your feet walking from the kitchen towards the studio, but he tuned it out with an annoying static he could only hear in his head.

Fuck. Where are they?

He rushed to the drawer next to his easels and rummaged around in a panic.

Where the fuck are they?

He kept a few anti-depressants in his studio because he spends most of his time here and he didn't have time to rush to the kitchen to get them if he ever got a panic attack.

"Fuck!" He cursed loudly, throwing the contents of his desk onto the floor. Some of his paintbrushes scattered on the wooden floor of his studio, marking the wood various colors. Maybe they're going to stain, but he didn't really care.

Xiao heard the footsteps retreating until he couldn't hear anything else except the constant ringing in his ears. It was annoying. It was loud. It started to make him want to split his head open.

"_____," He whispered, feeling his chest hurt and his throat tighten. The passageways helping him breathe seemed to close themselves, giving him a hard time and mocking him. It was coming back again.

Tears started to flood his vision, and they rolled down his red cheeks. He took the ponytail out of his hair and used two hands to tug at his locks starting from the roots. His breathing patterns became more erratic, but he tried his best to stay calm.

His knees and legs felt like jelly. He had to lean against the desk to avoid from toppling over.

Why? Why again? Why now? Why when you were here?

He screamed. It was loud enough for the neighbors to hear, but his care for any external entities was out the window the moment his eyes became blurry with tears.

Even though he was leaning against the desk, his legs still couldn't hold the weight of his entire body. His knees dropped to the floor, and he swore he must've dented the wood below, but he paid no mind to it. His knees were also aching, but he could deal with that later. He bent down and pressed his forehead to the floor.

"_____," He whispered again, longing for his partner. "Auxilium."

"Xiao?" The voice was muffled. His eyes were glued to the floor in front of him, but he knew it was you.

"Xiao, stay with me, honey." There was a hint of panic evident in your voice, but he was glad that you didn't let that get the best of you. You was still somewhat calm.

You kneeled down beside him, helping him back to an upright position.

"Honey, you left these on the counter outside." You handed him two tablets of his anti-depressants, and he gladly placed them in his mouth. You also gave him a glass of water, and he downed it in two swift gulps. Afraid that he might underestimate his strength, he returned the glass back to you instead of setting it down himself, nodding at you in the process.

You got into a more comfortable position where you rested your back against the wall, and you guided Xiao to follow you. It was a difficult task; He was very sensitive during his panic attacks.

His semestral feedback reports always made him anxious. He didn't have to please his parents anymore since he moved out years ago, but Xiao had this nagging feeling inside of him to do better with his academics. Nobody was really pressuring him to be a straight-A student, but did he feel like he needed to be? Who was he trying to prove himself to anyway? You knew about his sever panic attacks and how they were more active if he had a big event coming up. The first time you had to deal with it, you were still stiff and trying to learn how you could help. Now, you takes pride in yourself for being able to handle him in the ways you know would help him the most.

"Here you go, I've got you." You cooed, assisting him with moving. You laid his head flat on her lap and she began stroking his beautiful, tousled forest green locks. The highlights he had under the first layer of his hair started to fade, and you made a mental note to take him to a salon so they could get their highlights redone.

"You know, I've been listening to a lot of Coldplay lately," You started speaking, as if Xiao wasn't about to have a full-on panic attack. "Yellow would have to be one of my favorite songs. I guess it's kinda cheesy, but can you blame me?"

You used your free hand to wipe the tears from his cheeks.

"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you." You began singing, voice just above a whisper.

"And everything you do. Yeah, they were all yellow."

Xiao was a reserved person who had a hard time dealing with other people because of his inferiority complex that sprouted when he was young.

"I came along, I wrote a song for you."

He didn't have love and affection growing up. He didn't know how to be the best person to talk to. He had poor communication skills. He was a mess, to be honest.

"And all the things you do. And it was called yellow."

You were the first person who looked past his rough and tough exterior. You were the person who showed interest not just in his name- but in him as a whole.

"So when I took my turn, what a thing to've done."

"Thank you," He murmured silently, noticing that the ringing in his ears vanished. His throat was beginning to open again, and he could finally feel the steady heartbeat he had in his chest.

"And it was all yellow."

Xiao curled himself into a ball, burying his face in your clothed stomach. You smelled a bit like smoke (maybe you ate yakiniku at Xiangling's?) and your faded cologne. It smelled like home. It washed a sense of relief over his entire being. He felt safe. He felt secure. He was being held like a child, but he didn't really mind. Maybe he needed this.

"Your skin. Oh yeah, your skin and bones,"

You craned your neck downwards to look at Xiao's figure. He finally looked peaceful. You knew about his rough past. You knew about the trauma he had to go through, but you chose to look past it because you knew that he was just afraid and... alone. He needed someone to be there for him, and you would rather the world die than leave him alone ever again.

"Turn into something beautiful."

You noticed how his chest started a rhythmic pattern of ups and downs. His breathing was finally steady. He looked at peace. He looked like he was right at home.

"Do you know? You know I love you so."

You couldn't help but chuckle as you watched him sleep in your lap. How could anyone think that this softie was an asshole?

"You know I love you so."

You barely whispered the last part of the song, but it was loud enough for his heart to hear it. Xiao hated when things were unpredictable; that's why he hated the rain. But now, maybe the idea of rain wasn't so bad. Especially since you were his rain.

"I love you, Xiao."

At that moment, you knew that the involuntary smile on Xiao's face was a response that contained more emotions than his words could ever bear.

"I love you too."

[the-knight-of-the-stars]

You guys, I just realized something, it might not mean anything, and it's just me over analyzing a dcom with no good reason, but...

Let's look at the colors of the characters for a second, I think they tell us a lot about how their relationships work.

I always found weird how well Uma and Ben look together and even combine with each other. Like, I didn't thought they would, it's very difficult for two shades of blue to have a good harmony together, but they do.

And I think the way they work reflects a lot how their dynamic works, and their own personalities.

They both use blue, but it's their own shade of blue. Same colors, different tone. And they both use gold, which I think is important, is what ultimately blends their looks together.

Gold, according to my short marketing class, represents elegance, luxury, power. It makes sense that they both have it, they both represent in different ways their position of power.

I think is pretty obviously intentional that they put Mal on a literal Auradon flag for the cotillion, it's supposed to represent how Mal "lost herself" trying to blend with Ben.

And I can't help to think how different that dynamic is to the one Ben has with Uma. Uma already has gold and blue on her palette, just in a different way then Ben. They don't need to compromise their “colors” to be together.

As if their colors said: “we are very alike, but we see things on our own way, and we both have a position of power, which allows us to understand each other despite our differences”. Same colors, different shade, both gold.

Now, Mal's colors have nothing to do with Ben's. That is partly why it looks so forced when she tries to blend with him. She uses purple, black, and more purple (green? Kind of?)

There is nothing to blend them together. Different tone, different colors. Ben has bright gold and blue, Mal has dark purple and a little green. And that is also very much like their relationship. They are absolute opposites, but more importantly, there is no compromise.

Let me explain, I get the whole "you don't have to change yourself for your significant other" I agree, but there should be a compromise. In relationships, no matter how different they are, for it to work there should be a point where they can agree and commit to each other's views. It's a blending, it's a mutual building with another person. And that requires some commitment.

Lets look at another couple who are opposites. Harry and Uma.

Their colors are also opposites, completely, its Blue and Red, cold and warm, calm and passion.

But they do blend, quite nicely, actually. Why? Well, they both use black, in a similar way to how gold blends Uma and Ben. But they go furder, Uma and Harry have the same muted, kind of powdered tones. That's what makes their palettes to combine so well.

We can even say they combine with Gil for the same reasons, consistent use of black, same tones, even when the three of them have the triangle of primary colors.

Different energy, different personalities, different way to view the world. But they have a point of compromise. We know they have the same goals, the same (in a way) political opinions, they are willing to bend their own interests to commit to the others. We see it all the time. An example could be how Uma stops her vengeance against Mal and lets her go in order to help Harry get up in the ship. 

They are different from each other. They have different colors, but the same tone. They are ultimately a team.

When we look at Mal and Ben, on the other hand... They are nothing alike, but there is no point of compromise, the only time we see them trying to bend together is on D2, and is in a very toxic way.

Mal doesn't try to combine her colors with Ben, she straight up tries to replace her colors with Ben's. And Ben... Well, he can't change in a significant way.

Let's think about it, Ben is king, his primary relationship is with his kingdom. I think that's why he never changes his colors (the colors of Auradon), because he has to be absolutely committed to it. Even when he dresses as a Vk to go to the isle, he has the same colors.

Seen it this way, we have to understand that because Ben's way to compromise is delimited by his duties as king, his partner on this journey would have to be similar. Someone who bends naturally in the same way he does, in a limited way, but similar enough for them to understand each other. I hope this isn't that hard to follow.

I feel like Ben has that relationship with people like Evie or Uma.

We could also talk about how Jay casually has the same colors as the sea three, and a similar style. Or how the core four doesn't seem to bend... But I think I went far enough.

Maybe it makes no sense, just wanted to share.

[emy-loves-you]

Accessories and Crushes

This is Day 1 of the TSUS Challenge: Dukexiety!

Summary: Remus buys some jewelry to make himself look good and impress his crush, Virgil. But why does he look so upset by that?

Pairings: Dukexiety, background Roceit

Word Count: 3769

Warnings: Bullying, stealing, miscommunication, implied violence, blood

"C'mon boys! You need to leave now or you'll be late!"

"Coming Mom!" Both boys called out, Roman from the bathroom and Remus from his bedroom. The green-clad twin had finished putting on his makeup and was now frowning at his reflection. Something was missing. There was some part of his style that was incomplete. It had been missing for a while now, and because of it Remus looked incomplete. Bland. Boring. And he couldn't tell what was missing. He'd tried switching out his makeup palette (Roman had so many leftover, since he liked to do his own makeup in theater. He wouldn't miss this one), he tried different outfit styles, he even tried things that he never imagined wearing like skirts and high heels, but nothing felt right. Maybe I need new accessories?

There was a knock on his door and Roman poked his head in, a lopsided grin on his face. "C'mon, we gotta go before mom kills us."

Remus scoffed, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. "Psh, I've been ready. I was waiting for you, prettyboy. How many hours did you spend in the bathroom this time?"

Roman made a sound that their mutual friend (and Roman's crush) Janus dubbed an 'offended Princey noise' as they walked out of their house. "First of all, low blow. You can't just use that nickname-"

Remus snorted. "Of course I can. Just not in front of Janny.” Janus had made up the nickname years ago, and Remus constantly teased Roman with it. (Honestly, Remus was halfway tempted to lock the two of them in a closet and leave them there until they either made out or beat each other up)

Roman continued as they approached the school. “Secondly, I’ll have you know that every moment I spend in that bathroom is absolutely vital to my daily routine.”

Remus smirked. “Yeah? Even the 20 minutes you spend just belting out romantic Disney songs to your reflection?”

Roman blushed but didn’t back down. “Yes.”

“Hmm, a blushing Roman. The perfect way to start my morning.” Janus suddenly slinked up behind them, throwing his arm up over Roman’s shoulder.

Roman groaned, blushing harder. “I can never tell when you’re being sarcastic and when you’re being genuine.”

Janus chuckled softly. “If you knew, it wouldn’t be nearly as fun to do.”

The bell rang and Remus groaned. “Gotta go. Catch ya later.” He quickly made his way to his first class, silently glad to be rid of the two hopeless lovebirds. He got to his class with 5 minutes to spare and was going to play on his phone and ignore everyone like he usually did when he saw a flash of green out of the corner of his eye.

On one of the student’s desk was an ornate wooden box, filled to the brim with hand-crafted jewelry. The student in question, Jacob Smith, was currently counting a large stack of cash as he waited for the bell to ring. Remus got up to look at the jewelry and he smirked. “Hey, Prince. I’m selling my sister’s hand-made jewelry. Like anything you see?”

Remus glanced down at the jewelry. There were dozens of accessories in a ton of different colors, but there were a few that caught Remus’ eye. There was a matching set of 2 bracelets, a ring, a chain necklace, a choker, and a pair of earrings. They were all a metallic dark green with black and dark purple accents. Remus looked at the prices Jacob had given the jewelry and winced. They were all super expensive, but they were also high quality and hand-crafted, so Remus wasn’t going to complain.

Jacob smirked as Remus paid for the jewelry, about to say something when the bell ringed. Remus sighed and put the jewelry away, grabbing his notebook to take notes. Even though Remus was the school’s resident ‘bad boy,’ he still liked to keep his grades up. Remus hated that he was always stereotyped as lazy and dumb. Yes, he regularly punched homophobes and transphobes. Yes, he tended to struggle in English because metaphors were bullshit. But that wasn’t his fault! There were only a handful of people that Remus wouldn’t immediately punch their teeth in for calling him dumb, and only three of them went to this school. Of course, there was Roman and Janus, but there was another person who was allowed to insult Remus, even if he never did.

Eventually, lunchtime rolled around, and Remus ignored his usual routine of vandalizing homophobic lockers to instead go put on his jewelry in the bathroom. He spent the whole 15 minutes making sure that the jewelry looked perfect and his make up was flawless. He had someone to impress, after all.

A few more hours passed and Remus was finally in his last class of the day, impatiently waiting to see his crush walk through the door. Virgil Storm, resident emo and snarky introvert. He and Remus were forced to work on an English paper together last year, and now he liked to sit next to Remus during class. Remus knew this was only so they could work together on creative writing assignments, but a part of Remus dreamed that Virgil sat next to Remus because liked Remus, not just tolerated him.

When Virgil finally walked through the door, seconds before the bell was supposed to ring, Remus barely resisted the urge to grin and wave frantically like an overexcited puppy. Instead, he gave his meat flirtatious smirk, angling his body to show off as much of his new jewelry as possible. Instead of smiling (or blushing like Remus fantasized), Virgil froze in place. He gave Remus a look that made his heart sink. He looked… betrayed? That didn’t make sense. But before Remus could get up and ask what was wrong, the bell rang and Virgil took a seat in the front of the classroom, away from Remus.

Now, most people would be able to see that Virgil was upset before he even walked into the room. They would realize that Virgil isn’t having a good day, and would give him some space until he was ready to talk to them.

Remus is not most people.

He spent the entire class staring at Virgil, several pencils snapping as he pretended to take notes. Virgil slouched forward, ignoring Remus’s gaze burning holes in his hoodie. When the class ended, Virgil practically ran out the door. Remus growled and stuffed his things into his bag, shooting a quick text to Roman.

Re- (2:21 PM) Staying after, go on without me

He turned off his phone, not waiting for a response as he stalked out the door. He knew that Virgil didn’t take the bus, and Remus had a feeling that the emo hadn’t left the school yet. He probably didn’t go to his locker, and he hated all of the teachers, which left-

Remus slammed the bathroom door open, Virgil jumping from the sudden sound. He was hovering over the sink, his face red and puffy from crying. His shock quickly morphed into anger as he glared at Remus. “What do you want? Here to rub it all in my face?”

Remus growled, ready to rip his own hair out. Or Virgil’s. He hadn’t decided yet. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Virgil barked out a laugh, and Remus ignored how beautiful Virgil looked, even when angry. “Wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?! I thought you were my friend!”

A part of Remus’ heart broke at his crush calling him just a ‘friend,’ but the rest of his heart shattered as he processed what the emo said. “Of fucking course I’m your friend!”

Virgil glared at Remus, pointing at him accusingly. “Then why the hell are you wearing those?!”

Remus looked down at his jewelry, which he had bought and put on just to impress Virgil. They had to be what he was talking about, since it was the only significant change to Remus’s normal outfit. He actually liked this jewelry a whole lot. And now his asshole crush was getting pissy about it. “What’s wrong with me wearing jewelry, huh? You got a fucking problem with it?”

Virgil growled, slamming his fist onto the countertop. “That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it, dumbass! I’m not stupid, I know where you got those!”

Remus huffed. “You got something against Jacob? I know the guy’s an asshole, but are you seriously gonna hate me for buying his little sister’s jewelry?”

Virgil froze, his hands gripping the bathroom counter like a death grip. “Little sister? So you didn’t know?”

Remus was confused, but he was still more irritated than anything. “Didn’t know what? What the fuck are you talking about?!”

Virgil stayed quiet for a moment before he started screaming. “THAT SON OF A BITCH!” He slammed his fists back on the counter, fresh tears rolling down his face.

Remus rushed forward, pinning Virgil’s wrists down so he couldn’t hurt himself. No matter how pissed he was, Remus couldn’t see his crush get hurt. “What the fuck is going on, Virgil?”

Virgil froze again, looking away. “It’s none of your business. Just leave me alone.”

Remus growled, adding pressure to Virgil’s wrists, ignoring the way he winced. “Not this time, emo. You can’t just accuse me and say we aren’t friends, then tell me to fuck off when I don’t even know what you’re talking about!” He stepped closer, not giving him any room to squirm away. “So we’re not going anywhere until you’ve told me what’s going on.” Virgil looked away, and Remus growled. “You said that we’re friends, right? Then fucking treat me like one.”

There were a few moments of silence between them before Virgil sighed looking away, mumbling. “My name’s on ‘em.”

Remus’s grip loosened, confused. “Huh?”

Virgil groaned, pulling himself out of Remus’ hold and grabbing him by the wrist, removing his bracelet with practiced ease. He showed Remus the inside of the bracelet, where V.S. was stitched into the fabric. “Jacob’s little sister’s name is Sally. That’s my name. I sewed and etched it into every product.”

Remus stared for a minute until it hit him. “Did you make these?”

Virgil blushed and nodded. “Yeah, I sell them online. They take forever to make but it’s fun and I make a good amount of money off of it.” He huffed. “I shouldn’t of brought them to school. Yesterday Jacob had found me and was be-” he coughed “was talking to me, and he found them in my backpack. Said he would sell them for me, and in exchange I wouldn’t leave with a broken nose. All of the popular kids knew that I made them, because they bought a ton and flashed it off in front of me in the hallways.” He sniffled and wiped his tears away with his hoodie sleeve. “I… I thought you knew too. I thought you were like them.”

Remus stared for a few minutes before getting out his wallet. “How much do you normally charge for these?”

Virgil sputtered. “W-what? You don’t-”

Remus growled. “I know I don’t have to. Now. How. Much. Do. You. Charge?”

Virgil rambled off the price and Remus frowned. That wasn’t even half of what Jacob had charged for them. Still, he paid the price that Virgil listed before opening a backpack and grabbing a notebook and pen. “Do you know everything that he took? And how much you usually charge for them?” Virgil nodded softly, still a little mystified. “Can you write them down? Or if you have a picture it would be helpful.”

Virgil carefully wrote them all down, giving descriptions of each piece of jewelry and their worth. Remus nearly growled when he read the list. Virgil was missing almost $200 worth of jewelry, and based on Jacob’s prices, the asshole was going to make at least a $500 profit from all of this.

Remus took back his notebook and put it away, giving his crush one last look. “I promise I didn’t know about any of this, but now I’m going to fix it. Here,” he grabbed Virgil’s wrist and scribbled something on the back of his hand “here’s my number. If those assholes try something like this again, give me a call and I’ll go punch their teeth in.”

Virgil looked away. “You don’t have to…”

Remus chuckled. “Punch their teeth in? It’s kind of my signature move by this point. It would be a shame if I didn’t.”

The emo blushed, finding his shoelaces to be more interesting than looking Remus in the eye. “You don’t have to be so nice to me.”

Remus shook his head. “You earned my niceness, fair and square. You’re my friend, Emo. Do you know how many people get to call me that and mean it?” He snorted. “Do you know how many people get to call me a dumbass without immediately getting their bones broken? It’s a very short list.” He sauntered out of the bathroom, stopping as he reached the door. “You mean a lot to me V. And I’m gonna make these assholes pay.” He didn’t look to see Virgil’s reaction as he walked away, one goal in mind: make Jacob Smith’s life a living hell.

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Virgil went to class the next day, still in a slight state of shock. He felt numb all over, like he’d been drenched in ice water and was still dealing with the aftershocks. A lot had happened in the past 2 days, and he wanted nothing more than to lay down for a nap and not wake up until it all blew over.

Yesterday was awful. Usually Jacob just beat him up and went along his merry way, but instead he decided to ruin one of the few things that made Virgil happy. Jewelry making had been his passion for years, and seeing dozens of bullies showing him their new jewelry with a vindictive smirk, and knowing they were his but he wasn’t making a single penny, hurt him more than any punch or kick ever could.

But what hurt was seeing his only friend (and crush) sitting in the back of the room, showing off the jewelry that Virgil had specifically made with him in mind. Remus had been smirking, just like the bullies had as they flaunted off their jewelry, and Virgil had felt his heart break into a million pieces.

But that was yesterday. Today was a new day, and Virgil was wanting to crawl into a whole and never come out. Everyone would still be buying and showing off Virgil’s jewelry, some knowing where it came from, others having no idea. Jacob would probably come to beat Virgil up when he ran out of jewelry to sell, demanding more products that Virgil refused to make. He wasn’t going to spend all of his time on these products just to put money in Jacob’s pockets. And to top it all off, his friendship with Remus was probably ruined. Judging by how he acted yesterday, Remus would probably get upset if Virgil tried to distance himself again. But he was dreading the day where Remus would realize that Virgil wasn’t worth a decent English grade and tell him to fuck off.

Virgil was late to school today, so he didn’t actually realize that something was amiss until around lunch. No one had come up to Virgil to show off their jewelry, and a lot of students were staring at the emo as he walked by. When he took a closer look, he realized that the kids who had shown off their jewelry to him yesterday weren’t wearing them anymore, and some of them were sporting some nasty bruises. The ones who were wearing them were constantly staring at Virgil and… smiling? That was weird. But as Virgil sat down to eat his food another, more important question arose.

Where’s Jacob? And Remus?

His questions were answered in English class, where he overheard two students chatting as Virgil stepped in. Apparently Jacob and Remus had gotten into a fight and were now suspended. Virgil sat back in his normal spot, ignoring how the room went quiet as the ice water feeling returned with a vengeance. Remus got into a fight? Over him? That didn’t make any sense. Just the fact that Remus apologized and paid Virgil his debt for the jewelry was more than Virgil deserved. But the fact that Remus got into a fight with Jacob, because Jacob stole from Virgil, made something in his chest stutter. It made his heart race and his breath stop for a minute. Keep it cool Virgil, it’s not like someone as cool as Remus would ACTUALLY like you. His fight probably had nothing to do with me.

“Um, Virgil?” Virgil looked up at the random student next to him. Bethany, his brain half-heartedly supplied, still in a half state of shock. She was fiddling with the bracelets on her wrist, and it took Virgil a moment to realize they were his bracelets. “I-uh… I wanted to say sorry for what happened. Jacob told us he had brought those bracelets from home. We had no idea they were yours.” She pulled out her wallet. “Can I repay you for it? Or maybe buy more to make up for it?”

Virgil shook his head. “You don’t owe me anything. You already had to pay a stupidly high amount to Jacob, you shouldn’t have to waste more on me. I’ll be behind for a while on money, but I’ll get back up there eventually.” He blushed. “But if you want to buy more…” He scribbled down a url on his notebook paper and handed it to Bethany. “I have a website where you can customize your jewelry. It’ll take around a month or two depending on what it is, but I’ll have it done and shipped to your address as soon as it’s done.”

She took the paper and smiled gratefully. “Thank you so much! See you later Virgil!” She went back to her gaggle of friends, showing them the website url as they took pictures and typed it into their phones. Virgil smiled softly, glad to have at least a few potential customers after this.

When class was over, Virgil quickly grabbed his stuff from his locker and walked out the door. He was making his usual journey across the football field and towards the neighborhood when a familiar figure waved in the distance. Remus was underneath one of the bleachers, a familiar box in one hand and his backpack on the ground. Virgil ran over and hissed. “What are you doing here? You’re suspended right now! If they catch you on school grounds you’ll be expelled!”

Remus chuckled. “As if that would stop me from visiting my favorite emo.” Virgil flushed and looked at the wooden box. Remus suddenly perked up as he held out the box. “I got you your stuff back!” He sounded like an overexcited puppy and Virgil bit back a giggle, instead taking the box. He frowned when his hand came back wet.

“Uh, Remus?” He looked at his hand and cringed.

Remus tilted his head to the side, still resembling a puppy as he excitedly spoke. “Yeah?”

Virgil showed Remus the box. “This box is wet.”

“Yeah?”

“...With blood.”

“Yeah?”

“...Is it your blood?”

“I don’t think so!”

Virgil nodded, wiping his hand on his black skinny jeans. “Okay… thank you. It-” he looked away, blushing. “It means a lot to me.” He opened the box, looking at the contents. Around a third of the original jewelry was in the box, most of it he vaguely remembered the bullies wearing yesterday.

Remus smiled brightly, bouncing slightly as he grabbed his backpack. “That’s not even the best part! Look what I found while beating that asshole up!” Virgil hesitated before opening the bag, the not-so-nice part of him imagining Jacob himself shoved into the bag. Instead, the bag was filled to the brim with cash. Virgil stared at the money in shock while Remus explained. “That’s everything that he earned for selling your jewelry. He charged for a lot more than you did, but now you’ve made all of your money back and then some!”

Virgil tried to count the money at a glance, but his head started to spin after a minute. “Remus. How much money is in here?”

He giggled. “Almost $600. Jacob got a lot of money selling your stuff. He also had an extra 50 bucks that I added to the pot as compensation.”

Virgil nearly dropped the backpack in shock. He’d never had that much money before. This is it. I can actually start a business with this money. I can throw it into my bank account and actually have a chance at making jewelry after high school. At least as a side-job. He looked up at his crush, who was still bouncing slightly as he waited for praise. He did this for me. Remus gave me this chance. He did this because he cares. No one’s ever cared about me this much before.

Virgil didn’t realize what he was going to say until it was already out of his mouth. “Do you like coffee? With me?” He realized how jumbled his words were and he blushed. “I mean, would you like to go get some coffee with me? I know a good caffe a few blocks away. I know we aren’t too close, but maybe we could get to know each other better?”

Remus froze for a few seconds before he chuckled. “I don’t actually like coffee.” Virgil almost felt his heart drop, but his crush smirked at him. “But I know I’ll enjoy anything with you.” Virgil squeaked with a blush, and Remus chuckled. “Let’s go! We’ll get you some coffee, and we can talk about the inspiration behind your jewelry. Especially these.” He held out his wrist, showing off the dark green bracelet, a small purple heart sewn on the inside. Virgil blushed again. They both knew what inspired it. They both knew that Remus had inspired it. Or rather, Virgil’s feelings towards Remus. And Remus seemed okay with it, judging by his flirtatious chuckle and teasing grin.

Virgil eventually grabbed the resident bad boy’s hand, dragging him out from under the bleachers and towards the nearest cafe. He never thought he’d have a chance, but Remus gave it to him. And there was no way in hell that Virgil wasn’t going to take it.

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Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @arodynamic-enby @sanderssides-angst @whatishappeningrightnow @idont-freaking-know @cute-and-angsty-princess @artsy-enby09 @girl-who-reads @drarrymalecsolangelo @count-woe-laf

[vennilavee]

to build a home - ch 5

diamonds in the dark

TBAH masterlist

Pairing: levi x reader (attack on titan)

Summary: a modern au where you and levi both work for the Survey Corps, a non-profit organization with a mission to help the youth of the Underground District.

chapter summary: a night with you and your friends. a night with levi and his friends. a night together.

Warnings: cursing, alcohol, sexual themes, levi gets head and i mean reader does too but that’s a given

Word Count: 7259

Levi watches from the door frame with his arms crossed across his chest as you apply one last swipe of your mascara to your lashes. You pucker your lips for just another coat of gloss. His favorite gloss, he notes. It had subconsciously become your favorite, too.

“You look good,” Levi says, his voice flat as ever.

You’re so used to Levi moving silently that his sudden appearance doesn’t even make you jump. Passing him a bright smile, you look at yourself in the mirror again. You’re well aware of his steely gaze on you, especially when you decide to keep your hair pulled back and out of your face.

“Can I help you with somethin’, Levi,” You drawl and walk past him and straight to his cologne. 

Tonight, you feel like wearing his cologne over your own perfume and Levi lets out a noise of protest.

“You gonna replace that bottle when you use it up? It was a present,” Levi says when you start spritzing yourself.

“Yeah. A present from me,” You roll your eyes.

Levi finally approaches you, hands skimming along your waist and brushing over the flowy material of your top. It’s a low cut muted orange colored top, leaving plenty of room for him to press his lithe fingers to your exposed chest.

You hold your necklace in front of him, silently asking him to clasp it for you. His touch against your bare neck sends a barely concealed shudder to wrack your spine deliciously. Then, the pads of his fingers press into the column of your neck, followed by the flutter of his warm lips. A soft sigh escapes your lips when he tightens his hold around your waist and turns you around for a barely there kiss to your lips.

Before you can cling to him, he pulls away with a devious look in his eye.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be? Your friends are waiting, sweetheart,” He says, patting your thigh expectantly.

“Thanks for your concern over my punctuality, honey,” You roll your eyes but can’t resist a smile, “Wanna have a drink with me?”

You have a heavy hand when you mix drinks, and one drink turns into two quickly. For you at least. Levi had silenced your offer to call an Uber to your friend’s apartment for the pregame with a heavy glare. A glare like that means that it’s not up for discussion, you had quickly come to realize.

Music is playing from your speakers, something fun that would normally make you want to dance. It’s low, but still loud enough to pump through your veins. But you just watch Levi over the rim of your glass. You quickly finish your drink, feeling the soft tendrils of tipsiness clouding your mind warmly. Leaning into Levi, you nuzzle into him and lean closer to kiss up his jaw and down his neck.

“You gonna start something you won’t finish?” Levi asks dryly, voice cutting through the thick air. His hands are loose around your waist and you push yourself closer to him, to get him to touch you more, more, more.

He receives a playful shove to his shoulder in return. While you knew normally your friends wouldn’t care if you were a little late just because you were getting dicked down before a night out. But tonight is different- a friend of yours had just broken up with her long-term significant other.

You understand the need to unwind and let loose, having been through the same thing yourself with your ex.

Levi is nothing if not punctual, too.

“C’mon,” Levi says, patting your head fondly, “Your friends are waiting. And they’ll blame me if you’re late.”

“No, they won’t. They’ll know it was because of me.”

“Because you can’t keep your hands off of me.”

“Exactly.”

***

Levi presses a kiss to your lips as you leave the car and blow a kiss to him, excitement coursing through your veins at the prospect of a fun night out with your girlfriends. 

He doesn’t let you leave before telling you to keep your eyes open and be smart. It’s his way of telling you and your friends to be safe, and to call him if anything happens.

“I hope you don’t sprain your ankle in those boots.”

“It was one time!” You roll your eyes but press a kiss to his jaw anyway.

Levi drives away when you text him letting him know that you’ve gotten inside your friend’s apartment. He’s looking forward to his night of catching up with his television shows, the ones that you don’t particularly enjoy, with a cup of chamomile tea.

You send him a few selfies of yourself with your friends and as the night progresses, he can see drunkenness dotting the edges of your dark eyes. Once the steady stream of selfies stops, he knows you’re probably dancing or drinking. Or both.

If he’s being honest, Levi spent quite a lot of time in the beginning wondering how you two were so compatible. You were almost opposite to him- sometimes loud, sometimes quiet, sometimes affectionate, sometimes needing space, you enjoyed spontaneity where he enjoyed stability. 

You were every color of the palette, vibrant and unabashedly so, while he was just… grey. Plain, boring, unassuming grey. 

He remembers the first time he had voiced the perceived differences out loud, as if it was a cold, hard fact and it wasn’t bothering him and splintering his mind. You had immediately countered him, telling him that just because you both were different didn’t mean that he didn’t belong with you. You knew it wouldn’t be the first time it came up, but you were ready for it when it did.

Since then, some of your colors have brushed over him, hues of pinks, yellows, purples painted over him in uneven stripes with the passage of time. He hadn’t even realized it. He’s mellowed you out and you’ve made him vibrant, in his own way. But you’re still distinctly you, and Levi is still distinctly him. 

That’s what a long term relationship is, he supposes. Give and take.

Levi is sprawled out on the couch under his favorite fuzzy blanket and he’s propped up on the throw pillow so his back doesn’t hurt in the morning. You’ve scoffed at him and called him an old man, while simultaneously doing the same so your back doesn’t hurt later in the day as well.

He reminds you every time you call him an old man that you’re older than him. And of course, you protest that you’re only older than him by a few months. And he responds with an exaggerated roll of his eyes.

Levi tugs the sleeves of your purple hoodie around his wrists and presses his feet into the blanket. Your muted, woodsy scent hidden in the threads of your hoodie curls around him as if it’s you. He runs warm generally, but he’s not above admitting that he enjoys being cozy.

The clean scent of the freshly lit candle on the coffee table wraps around him, and with the low sounds of the television, your warm embrace in the form of your hoodie- he can’t help but close his eyes. Just for a second..

***

If there’s anything you’re good at, it’s playing wingwoman for your friends. As the only woman in a long term relationship out of your few friends outside of work, you had taken it upon yourself to play matchmaker where you could. Especially tonight, for your friend who had just gotten dumped.

Levi always rolled his eyes at you, telling you to mind your own business. But you knew he didn’t mean it, especially if it was just harmless hook ups. After all, you remember how your friends had rallied around you after your own terrible break-up. It feels like a far away memory now. Almost like a movie replaying in the back of your eyelids.

If you could share the experience of love with your dear friends, it was worth it. Even for just a night.

You’ve successfully seen her off with a man in the club, probably sucking face while shrouded in darkness. Your other friends circle you at the bar and you eagerly order a round of drinks and shots. And then another.

A night out was always a fun time with you and your close friends. These nights became rarer the older you got, what with more responsibilities and conflicting schedules. Dayo, Luna and Nari were your friends from college. Some of the few that you had kept in contact with all these years after graduation.

Nari’s the one currently sucking face with a perceived stranger, while Dayo and Luna flank either side of you at the bar.

“Cheers,” You shout over the music, “To my bitches, to love, and to money!”

The three of you link arms to take your shots before washing it down with a drink. Luna leads the way to the dance floor and you can’t help but keep a wary eye out for any unwelcome attention.

You’re glad that the night is devoid of that type of attention. It’s just a night of bright lights, smoke, booze, and your friends. Some of your favorite kinds of nights.

The three of you are dancing and singing along to the music with bright smiles. It feels like it’s just the three of you in the entire club. You’re certain your limbs and your throat will be sore the next morning, from how low the three of you are getting-

Your thirties are no joke, or so they say.

You love the way the music pumps through your blood, dancing with the sweet sting of alcohol as it makes its way through your veins. You don’t know what time it is when Nari finally sends you a text saying that she’s going to go home with the guy she was hooking up with- you only tell her to be safe. He’s a mutual friend of Luna’s, and she can vouch for him. She hugs you goodbye eagerly.

That leaves only you, Dayo and Luna to dance and drink the night away. And so you do, way past the point of your feet beginning to ache and past the point of feeling dazed from the alcohol. 

Luna stifles a yawn behind her hand but you catch it.

“You guys wanna go home?” You ask, nearly shouting above the music.

“I mean… if y’wanna,” Luna shrugs with a drunken smile.

You’re already texting Levi, asking if he’d pick you guys up. He replies even before you type out a third text, telling you that he’s on his way to the club and you send him a kissy face emoji.

A stream of butterflies erupts in your belly at the thought of seeing your man.

***

Levi shoots you a glare as he unlocks the car doors for you and your friends to get in. Normally, he’d at least pull over to make sure that the three of you are safely inside and not inclined to throw up in his car. But he’s in the middle of a busy street and cars are already honking at him.

He hates it, but it washes away once you clumsily slink into the passenger seat and press a quick kiss of greeting to his jaw. 

“Where’s Nari?” Levi asks once he makes a right at the light to get out of the city.

“Had an impromptu dick appointment,” Luna laughs behind her hand and Levi hears you and Dayo chuckle with her.

“Not with her asshole ex?” Levi says mildly.

“No way, whaddaya take us for, Levi?” Dayo says airily.

Levi’s lips quirk up at that but he remains quiet. You’re dreamily staring at your boyfriend, with one hand on the steering wheel and the other in his lap. You struggle to stifle your gasp when you realize he’s wearing your hoodie.

It gives you butterflies. Again.

***

“Drink some water,” Levi murmurs softly but firmly. 

He tips the glass to your lips and you chug half of it easily. A lazy grin spreads across your face before you head into your bedroom and change out of your clothes.

Levi catches your jeans before they hit the floor in your haste to put on comfortable clothes.

“Levi,” You complain, “Help me, Levi. Stop just standin’ there.”

“Go take a shower,” Levi says flatly, “You smell like alcohol and smoke. ‘M not sleepin’ with you if that’s how you’re coming to bed.”

“Levi! ‘M tired. And drunk,” You mumble but you take your towel with you to the bathroom.

You know he’s not kidding when he says he won’t sleep with you if you smell like a bar.

“Don’t I know it,” Levi mutters.

It’s a quick shower, despite you dropping the bottle of Levi’s body wash three times. You don’t think you have the coordination or energy to wash your hair, so Levi can just deal with it.

You stumble a bit even after you get out of the shower, moisturize and change into a long sleeved shirt and shorts. Trying carefully to not knock anything over, you’re nearly successful until you end up in a twist of your limbs on the floor somehow. With a sigh, you lift yourself up from the floor, your legs feeling like cement blocks.

Levi pokes his head through the doorway but you wave him off.

By the time you venture out into the living room, Levi already has water and food ready for you. Your heart flutters at the gesture.

“I showered,” You mumble, sinking into the couch and into his embrace.

“I can tell,” Levi hums and tips the glass of water to your lips for you to drink.

“I’m clean. So y’can kiss me now,” You inform him, peering up at him with wide, drunk eyes.

“Woulda kissed you anyways,” Levi says and gestures for you to finish your glass of water. You quickly finish it without breaking eye contact with him and he wonders if you’re trying to be sexy for him. But instead, you just look sleepy.

You accidentally knock into his nose when you try to press a kiss to his lips and he lets out a breathy chuckle in response.

“Let’s go to bed. Think it’s past your bedtime,” Levi says, kissing the crown of your head.

Instead, you curl a hand into the collar of his shirt and push your lips to his, swallowing his soft noise of surprise. Your fingers move like honey through his dark hair, dipping into his hair and scratching his undercut. Levi doesn’t hide his noise of approval as he exhales into your mouth. He makes you dizzy with his musk, your belly flipping when he cups your neck. You raise your leg and slide into his lap enthusiastically, nearly knocking your head into his nose. But you pay no mind to it, only leaning into Levi’s touch as he pats your head.

You pull away just for a fraction of a second for a breath before dropping kisses and sucking on the supple skin of his jaw-his chin- his neck. A hand snakes back into his hair as you push into him, hip to hip and chest to chest. Your hips roll into his clumsily, but you gain your rhythm and enjoy the way he rolls his hips in response. You pull his hair slightly, tightening your grip when his eyes pop open. You yank his hair back, exposing the column of his pretty throat to you and relishing in his soft groan and the growing hardness against your inner thigh.

Levi catches the gleam in your dark eyes before you bite and soothe a spot below his ear, then down his neck and over his collarbones. You shiver as his hands squeeze your thighs, his fingers trailing upwards to disappear under your shorts and indent the flesh of your hips. His touches sent a pleasant buzz through you, sweet and sultry in all the ways that the alcohol coursing through your veins isn’t.

You tug his shirt over his head, barely even noticing that he had changed out of your hoodie and into a sleep shirt. Hunger curls in your belly at the sight of his bare chest, of the smooth and scarred planes of his chest that you call home, of the smattering of hair leading from his navel into his shorts.

Levi tosses his head back as you sloppily kiss your way down his neck, down his chest, fingers raking over his abdomen. You slide out of his lap and onto the floor, hands blazing over his thighs and squeezing. He almost chokes when he sees your wide eyes and the small gathering of drool at the corner of your mouth. You lick your lips eagerly, and without warning, you palm his hardness. Levi hisses at your sudden movement but you only look at him sheepishly.

“Wanna put y’to bed, baby,” You mumble hoarsely and Levi swallows at the look of earnest shining in your eyes, “Wanna put y’to bed s’good, baby…”

Levi does choke as he gasps, after you pull his shorts off and do that thing with your mouth that he likes. Spit coats your lips and his cock as he thrusts into your pretty mouth. The sounds you pull from him shoot straight down to your core, and you know you’re already slick. Somehow, despite your still slightly drunken haze, your movements are somewhat coordinated as you hollow out your cheeks to take all of him in your mouth in stripes and licks.  He likes it a little sloppy, a little messy when your tongue darts out and slicks his cock with your spit. Words die in his throat when you choke as you try to take all of him in your mouth and when you peer up at him with teary but determined eyes. A string of spit follows your wrecked lips when you pull away with a soft pop. Your lips are bitten, stained with his cum as it dribbles down your chin. 

You lick your lips slowly, the dangerous but lazy smile never leaving your face.

“Whattsa matter, baby? Cat got your tongue?” You grin and lewdly wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.

Levi tugs your hand and lifts you into his lap, wordlessly giving you a deep kiss. His arms are tight around your waist, and you are unabashed in your desire for him as you stutter your hips into his.

He pulls away and stares at you intensely, in that way that nearly sobers you up instantly. His mouth is on your neck and his hands peel you out of your shorts quickly. Levi touches you everywhere, except for where you need him most.

“Levi,” You complain breathily, “Stop teasin’ me-”

He pushes you so that you’re laying down on the sofa and it takes you a few seconds to react. You part your legs for him instantly and buck your hips in the air for his attention. Levi slides a hand over your bare thighs before dotting your inner thighs with barely there kisses. Your hands slide through his hair once more and tug gently. Levi moans against your slick and the sound sends yet another stab of arousal through you.

“Cat got your tongue?” Levi mimics you with a raise of his eyebrow at your silence, only your soft moans fill the air.

Instead of replying, you push his head closer to your glistening arousal and groan when you feel the warmth of his tongue on your heated skin.

***

You’re dozing off against Levi’s shoulder, warmth spreading through your limbs and settling in your bones. Levi’s voice is quiet in your ear and you hum, barely registering his words.

“C’mon, angel. Let’s go to bed,” Levi says and nudges your jaw with his nose.

“Alright, grandpa,” You mutter, but you get up from the couch anyway after eating the food Levi had set out for you. Levi puts your plate and glass in the sink and double checks the locks before climbing into bed next to you. You’re eagerly waiting, the sheets drawn back and his usual spot ready.

Levi quickly washes his face and moisturizes before settling in bed. You instantly curl up against him, melding into his side as if it was reflex. Which it was.

“Did you have fun tonight?” Levi asks easily, wrapping an arm around your waist and peering at you.

Your ear is pressed against his neck and his voice rumbles through his chest, vibrating against your skin. You hum in response, sneaking a hand under his shirt and rubbing his chest.

“Girls night was a lot of fun,” You murmur, turning your head upwards to press a featherlight kiss to his neck. 

“‘M glad,” Levi says, “Nari needed it. She was a mess the last time we saw her.”

“I know,” You sigh, “She needs time. She’ll be okay.”

Levi squeezes your waist and you move your hand away to curl it around his face. Your breaths are soft against his face, fondness in the center of your still slightly blown out pupils. Arms wrap around his neck until you’re half on top of him and your lips are melted to his. Levi feels the gentle rise and fall of your chest against his as you tilt your head and deepen the kiss. You taste mostly like the mouthwash that sits on your sink, but Levi tastes undercurrents of tequila on your tongue, too.

Your leg wraps around his waist and your eyelids flutter with the sudden warmth he’s radiating. Being close to him this late at night always pushes you to sleep, especially with the addition of alcohol.

But still, you try to keep your eyes open. To catch a glimpse of your angel with silver eyes, so that he’s the last thing you see before you fall asleep.

You’re too lazy to even pull your lips properly away, instead hoarsely whispering a soft ‘love you’ into his mouth. Your eyes close as he kisses your forehead and tightens his hold around you.

“Good night, angel.”

You and Levi seem to be just missing each other. You’ve been away at client meetings during the day, so you haven’t had the chance to see him much. Your last client meeting was close to home, so you just took the bus to get home. Levi had stayed a little late at work and decided to have some tea with Mikasa and Eren.

He had scoffed when you had told him that he’d make a good mentor to them. And yet, here he was.

And then he had been roped into a night out with Mike and Erwin. Something about Mike wanting to celebrate his anniversary with Nanaba. To which Levi had replied, “shouldn’t you be celebrating with her?”

And Mike’s response was, “We already celebrated. Besides, think of it as practice for the wedding.”

And now, Levi was driving home to get changed for a night out that he was growing less and less averse to. It’s been a while, he muses. Since he had a night out with just the boys.

How does the saying go? Saturdays are for the boys?

You’d tease him for it.

Levi comes home to find you freshly showered after a workout and lounging on the couch with a glass of red wine in bike shorts and a muscle tank.

You peek up from the couch, setting your nearly untouched wine glass on the table to greet him eagerly.

“Hey,” You murmur, wrapping your arms around him instantly and kissing him quickly.

He can taste the Shiraz on your tongue and it’s sweet and oaky at the same time.

“Hey yourself,” Levi greets you and pulls away to toe his shoes off and set his backpack by the wall.

“I heard you’re having a boys night tonight,” You say and follow him to the bedroom, where he starts undressing himself for a quick shower.

“Mike wants to celebrate his anniversary,” Levi rolls his eyes, “I think he just wants a reason to get shitfaced. According to him, it’s practice for the wedding.”

“That’s as good a reason as any,” You grin and rub his bare back.

“He should be celebrating with Nanaba,” Levi says under his breath.

“So I shouldn’t plan a girls night for our next anniversary to celebrate?” You tease him and he looks at you, scandalized. 

“If I ever tell you that I want a boys night for our anniversary, you can leave me,” Levi confirms, but you hear the airy amusement in his voice.

“Oh, stop,” You laugh, swatting his shoulder, “Their anniversary was days ago and they celebrated, trust me.”

You wink at him and he rolls his eyes. He’s certain the details of their anniversary celebration are located in the groupchat with Nanaba and Hange. Details that he doesn’t need or want to know.

“Besides, I think it’s sweet. Our friends want to share and celebrate love with us,” You say dreamily.

“You’re corny,” Levi says and pats your head, “Now move aside. I’m gonna shower, and no, we’re not taking a shower together.”

You gasp in offense, “And why not?”

“I’m on a time crunch and us showering together is a waste of water. And, you just showered.”

“I can keep my hands to myself, Levi, thank you very much.”

“No, you can’t,” Levi scoffs and is about to shut the door to the bathroom in your face.

“Fine, I wanna have sex,” You whine, holding the door open with your hand and letting out a giggle when he rolls his eyes, “Excuse me, for wanting to have sex with my incredibly hot boyfriend with his big hands and his big-”

This time, Levi does slam the door in your face and he hears you loudly cackling back into the living room. 

***

Levi, as punctual as ever, has a little less than an hour to spare before heading to Mike’s apartment to meet up with him and Erwin.

“You look hot,” You inform him, hands fixing his collar as he smoothes hair product into his still damp strands. The buttons of his shirt are still undone, exposing his undershirt and giving you plenty of access to run your hands over his chest.

A noise of acknowledgement escapes his lips in response. He’s wearing a black button up tucked into his slacks, the sleeves rolled up to his forearms, with black slacks that sit just right on his thighs and his ass. They’re your favorite pants on him, and he knows it. A tan belt circles his waist, highlighting just enough for you to want more of him.

“Wanna have a drink with me before you leave? It’s the least you could do, since you denied me shower sex,” You murmur playfully in his ear as he does the buttons up of his shirt.

“Like I’d ever say no to having a drink with you.”

“Saying no to me is like second nature to you. Please refer to about twenty minutes ago-”

“Alright, princess. You’re right, I’m wrong,” Levi rolls his eyes, “Help me put this on.”

It’s a necklace- specifically, it’s one of your necklaces that he’s decided is now his. It’s a gold chain with a lilac pendant encased around a ring of gold.

You lick your lips and swallow to wet your suddenly dry throat. You step behind him, taking your time with clasping the necklace and turning it so that the pendant is facing forward. It’s almost hidden by the highest button of his shirt, but you catch the glint of it with the light. A soft caress of your fingertips over the back of your neck is replaced by your lips. But just for a second.

Levi meets your eyes in the mirror before turning around to face you. You unbutton the top two buttons of his shirt, to allow for his skin to breathe. And also for your own self-serving interests. A hand curls your cheek and Levi runs a thumb over your bottom lip, a featherlight touch, before leaning forward to melt his lips to yours.

He tightens his group around your waist and dips you slightly, to your surprise. The scent of his cologne, woody and musky, cocoons you as you smile into his kiss. Your hand is warm against his neck, your other hand lazily scratching his chest. You deepen his kiss eagerly, arms shifting to lock behind his head as you tilt your chin, barely breaking for a breath.

“Come, I’ll make us drinks,” Levi says, patting your ass fondly.

And truly, what is better than your man making you a drink of his own choosing?

You stand close to him, chin on his shoulder and catching welcome whiffs of his cologne.

“Cheers,” Levi says, handing you your glass and clinking his with yours.

“Cheers, honey,” You murmur and take a long sip of your drink.

He knows his way around your palate, but each time he makes you something, you’re impressed.

You kiss his cheek in gratitude and he gestures for you to join him on the couch.

Convincing Levi that you would both be careful enough to not spill on the pristine couch had taken a while. Of course, you were clumsy and there had been a few incidents where you had spilled wine on the couch. 

You had been subjected to Levi’s quiet irritation each time, and it wasn’t a fun feeling.

“Bring coasters,” Levi calls from the couch, with your drinks in his hands. 

“Yes, your majesty,” You roll your eyes but comply, setting two matching coasters on the coffee table. 

Levi is about halfway done with his drink by the time you join him and you pout at him playfully.

“First, you ignore me all day. Then, you don’t let me spend time with you in the shower. And now you won’t even share your drink with me,” You say, counting your fingers, “three strikes, baby-“

Levi sets his drink on the coaster and pushes you so that your back is against the sofa.

“Oh. What a precarious position you have me in,” You say dryly.

“I’ll show you three strikes, baby,” Levi murmurs into your neck, biting you.

“What, you gonna make me cum three times before you leave? You only have thirty minutes,” You taunt him with a smirk.

“You challenging me or something’?” 

“Not much of a challenge if you can’t do it-“

“You and I both know that that’s a lie and that you’ve been horny as shit since this morning-“

“Because you always leave me high and dry!”

“Oh, do I?” Levi asks cockily with a raise of his eyebrow.

“No,” You sigh in defeat and buck your hips towards him. 

“Or… you can wait till I get home. Don’t want your liquids on my clothes.”

“My what? God, Levi, you make everything sound so romantic,” You roll your eyes, “Fuckin’ tease.”

“Fine, I don’t want your cum on my clothes,” Levi says bluntly, “How’s that for romance?”

“What happened to ‘happy wife, happy life’,” You mutter.

“Not applicable, where’s the ring on your finger?” Levi lifts himself off of you, pressing a kiss to your lips and pulls you into his side. You instantly curl into him and take a few sips of your drink.

“I don’t know, been wondering that myself,” You nudge him and shove your right hand in his face.

Levi instantly stiffens next to you and you notice immediately.

“Have you? Have you been wondering?” His voice is soft, a far cry from the teasing only a few minutes ago.

“What? No, Levi, I’m just messing with you,” You reassure him, “I’m happy like this, baby. Are you?” 

“Yes, but-“

“If I want more, I’ll tell you what I’m thinking. I told you I would. No guessing games, baby,” You murmur and kiss his jaw. He relaxes with your slight touches and downs the rest of his drink.

You take his hand in yours and squeeze. Levi presses his nose into your neck and tilts his head, his lips brushing against your skin. 

“Do you want me to pick you up? From the bar?” You inquire softly, reaching around to scratch the back of his neck.

“No, it’ll be late. I’ll figure it out with Erwin and Mike.”

“You sure, baby? I don’t mind-“

“I’m sure. It’s fine,” Levi murmurs, “It’s fine, angel.”

Your face heats up and Levi’s lips upturn slightly.

“You’re tired,” Levi says, gripping your chin and peering into your dark eyes.

“Wake me up when you come home, then,” You reply, rubbing his arm, “Let me at least drop you off, then.”

“We’ll leave in twenty?” Levi asks and you nod, “Enough time for me to make you cum at least twice.”

Your heart flutters at that and he pushes you back on the couch, sliding up your torso to capture your lips in a heated kiss.

“You’ve been needy,” Levi murmurs, “Been waiting for me, haven’t you?”

You swallow and nod eagerly. 

“Good girl,” Levi says throatily, fingers skimming your sides as he pulls your tank off and rolls his hips into yours. A hand presses over your clothed center and you groan at the friction. 

It’s been a few days. You’re sensitive.

He already knew you weren’t wearing a bra, from the way your chest had brushed against him countless times earlier. You hardly ever do, when you’re just at home with him. Levi’s mouth is already on your neck, sucking spots down your chest slowly. His mouth is warm and wet- you can’t help but wrap your legs around his waist to keep him there.

Soft calls of his name pour from your lips. His ears are ringing with the honey of your raspy voice and he makes it a mission to pull more of your breathy sounds from your throat.

“You gonna let me make you feel good?” Levi murmurs, squeezing your hips. The sound of his voice reverberates through your blood and you shudder.

He waits for your nod before peeling your shorts off of you and pressing his mouth to your hips reverently.

“Levi,” You breathe, “No teasing.”

With that, he stops talking.

***

“Have fun tonight,” You reply as you pull up to Mike’s apartment building and unlock his side of the door, “Call me if you need anything, honey.”

You lean over to peck his lips quickly.

“I will,” Levi promises and dips his head for a longer, sweet kiss. 

Before you can convince him to take him back home, he leaves the car and casts one fleeting look at you before heading up to the building. You wait for his text, stating that he’s inside Mike’s apartment, before driving away.

It’s just you, your bed, and your book tonight.

***

Levi prefers to be at places like this with you, if he has to be there at all. He can appreciate a good boy’s night, but tonight, he mostly just misses you.

You had been away for the last few days, coming home late and going to bed immediately. And before that, it had been him who was away for a few days. You both had been trying to play catch up with each other, but it hadn’t been enough. Not yet.

Levi absently listens to Mike talk about Nanaba, and is hit with a sudden longing for you. Maybe it’s the alcohol- but he thinks not. He’s only had two drinks so far, and is currently nursing the second one. He starts to impatiently bounce his leg, warily checking the time on his phone.

It’s about thirty minutes later, when Levi is hardly listening to Erwin and Mike, that Erwin just sighs at Levi.

“You’re here, but you’re not here,” Erwin says with a roll of his eyes.

“Yeah. You know what, ‘m gonna leave. I miss my girl,” Levi says bluntly and quickly finishes his drink.

“I can respect that,” Mike nods and clasps Levi’s shoulder.

Levi leaves the bar after that, hailing a cab in record time. He wonders if you’ll be surprised when you see him. The thought brings heat to his cheeks.

He must be drunk. Or at least tipsy.

***

You’re curled on the couch with a blanket over your legs, feet perched on the ottoman with a half finished glass of wine on the coffee table. You have your glasses on and you’re reading a book, one that you had started months ago but had never gotten around to finishing. A candle of your favorite, semi-sweet scent is lit and it wafts through your apartment. The record player is playing soft tunes as you read- you’ve always hated the sound of a completely silent room.

The sound of the front door opening nearly misses your ears but you hear the soft click as it closes. Levi pushes his shoes off impatiently and you catch a glimpse of his pink cheeks.

“Hi,” You say, waving at him from the couch, “You’re home early.”

“Yes,” Levi says simply. 

“It’s not even midnight yet,” You press, opening your arms for him to slide into. 

He looks like he considers it for a second, but then turns away to wash up and change into comfortable clothes. If there’s anything to say about Levi, it’s that he hates being in ‘outside clothes’ when he’s at home. 

You feel the same way. Maybe that’s why you both fit so well together.

You make your way over to the bedroom to wait for Levi to emerge from the bathroom. He’s freshly showered and the pink tint on his cheeks hasn’t gone away fully. 

“It’s fuckin’ hot,” Levi says flatly, deciding to omit a shirt. 

“Think it’s just you, honey,” You murmur, flipping the page of your book. 

You feel the bed dip with his weight as he lays in his spot. You pay him no mind, wanting to see how far he’ll go for your attention. 

You knew why he came home early. Because he missed you, and because he missed you. Levi had even texted you when he was out, a simple black heart. But still, he doesn’t do that often.

He lays next to you, nearly brushing your shoulder. He’s not close enough to see what you’re reading and he’s not close enough to realize that you’ve been reading the same sentence for the last few minutes.

Levi shifts a few inches closer to you subtly. Close enough that he can brush your bare calf with his foot. You barely react, holding in the laugh that you want to let out.

You can sense his frustration beginning to build. But still, he says nothing. He leans his head against your shoulder and your free hand immediately cards through his damp strands. You start and stop playing with his hair randomly, teasing him, and his frustration rears its head again.

Apparently, he’s had enough, because he takes the book straight from your hands and tosses it to the other end of the bed.

“I was reading that,” You protest, but can’t help a smile from forming on your face.

“No, you weren’t,” Levi scoffs.

His attention to detail always amazes you.

“Yeah, you’re right,” You admit, “Why’d you come home early, huh?”

You tease and playfully shove his shoulder. He avoids answering, choosing instead to roll on top of you and press a kiss to your shoulder. Then your neck. Then your lips.

You prompt him again with a press of your finger to his bare shoulder. He huffs at you, and his ears begin to turn pink as well.

“Rather be with you,” Levi murmurs and you break out into a grin.

“I know,” You whisper, “But our friends like spending time with you, too.”

“We’ve been missing each other for the last two weeks,” Levi exhales, “It felt like too much. Too long.”

“Yeah. I know, honey,” You reply, “Right here is where I wanna be, too.”

Fingers trail the sharp, corded planes of his shoulders before drifting downwards and lingering over his lower back. Your nails are firm but gentle over his skin.

This is his favorite part. Well, one of them.

You crane your neck upwards for a kiss and Levi is all too eager to oblige. His hair tickles your cheeks and you use your free hand to run your hands through it.

“You taste like oranges,” You murmur when you pull away.

“Didn’t wanna taste like bourbon,” Levi shrugs.

“How thoughtful of you-”

He captures your lips again, cutting you off mid-sentence. You cup his face, thumbs running over his cheekbones as you tilt your head to deepen the kiss. Levi kisses you like you’ll disappear, his tongue sliding into your mouth with little resistance.

Levi pulls away first, only looking at you intensely. His steel eyes are darkened by desire, but you see his affection, too. 

“Show me, baby,” You mumble, “Show me how much you missed me-”

And he does.

You thought you’d be ready. You thought you could hold it together, at least until the mojitos started flowing. But you couldn’t, not when you saw the look of pure happiness radiating from Nanaba as she entered the backyard, hand in hand with Mike. A sweet sort of romance is in the air, curling around you as your lashes flutter at the sight of the newly engaged couple.

Mike had just proposed to Nanaba and of course, she had said yes. 

You had helped lead the charge for decorating his backyard with some of her friends. Fairy lights were strewn around the deck, a small backdrop with an array of flowers lacing up and over it to take pictures in front of, and tents with tables for people to sit in. Buckets of ice with bottles of champagne are on one of the wooden tables, with frames of photos of Mike and Nanaba.

It’s everything Nanaba wanted, and you can tell from the expression of awe in her eyes. 

You force yourself to hold it together for a little longer. But Mike gives a speech, it’s short and sweet and a succinct proclamation of his love for Nanaba and for his friends.

Levi tugs your hand in his and squeezes. He can tell you’re about to cry, your bottom lip trembling as you try to suppress the urge. You bite down on your lip but your dark eyes still water.

You are just so happy for your friends. You’re in love with love. In this moment, everything feels weightless and you feel like infinity.

“Your mascara will run,” Levi says softly, pulling you towards the back of the crowd and into his side.

You let out a watery laugh and furiously wipe at your eyes. But Levi pushes your fingers away, dabbing under your eyes gently with his thumb.

Seeing other people in love makes you feel incredible. Because you’re reminded of Levi every time. You’re reminded of the man you love, the man that you were meant to be with.

“I love you,” You say helplessly, hopelessly, “So much. I love you.”

“I love you,” Levi says, the tips of his ears reddening. 

You peck him lightly, the faint taste of mint lingering on your lips. Levi rubs your back and walks you both to the happy couple to congratulate them.

You can’t help the bright smile or the fresh tears in your eyes, dotting them like the stars that hang above you.

[just-come-baek]

get in, loser 1

Pairing: Taeyong x female!reader

Themes: smut | mafiaboss!taeyong | carthief!reader

Word count: 6.2k

Summary: How to get noticed by the most dangerous man in the country? I guess stealing his sport car and dying it hot pink must catch his attention.

Warnings: car theft | speeding | alcohol consumption | jaehyun being taeyong’s henchman | hardcore brainstorming | taeyong being touchy | more in next chapters

A/N This series will be around 5 chapters long. New updates shall be posted once every two weeks I hope. Also, @starlightbebes challenged me into posting chapter 1 on Taeyong’s birthday, so I won. ^^ Pay up.

***

Considering it was Saturday night, the city seemed oddly serene. Any other night, I’d witness some wild shit, yet tonight, it was quite peaceful. No prostitutes were arguing with no-cooperative customers, no inexperienced adolescents throwing up in the public trash cans, no aggressive football spectators fighting with their rivals.

Despite the calm aura, the city was vibrant; colorful neon signs were blinking, inviting people into different liquor establishments, cars honking on drunken pedestrians jaywalking across the streets, a few undiscovered musicians playing on the main square with plenty of tourists recording them.

Each establishment promised an unforgettable night, and for some people, it would be a real dilemma to pick one among such a rich palette of entertainment. I, on the other hand, had a pretty well-defined plan of stealing a fancy car – a precious possession of one, infamous crime lord in the country.

It wouldn’t be my first car theft, yet it surely was going to be the most meaningful one. Everyone in town knew that Lee Taeyong was up to no good. When it came to his personal taste, though, it was impeccable. The most expensive, the most extravagant, the fastest cars belonged to him, so stealing one of his astounding vehicles would be the cherry on top of my villainous career.

Rumor had it, tonight he’s celebrating in his VIP club – the Cherry Bomb; if you ask me, its name is a little bit tacky, but who I am to judge? The crowd of people trying to get inside was enormous, so despite its name, the local must’ve been quite profitable.

Being the most dangerous crime lord in the country must be a pretty time-consuming profession – I wouldn’t expect him to get to the club before midnight. Regardless of what must’ve been on his to-do list tonight, his schedule was bound to be packed.

It was almost 1 o’clock when matte black carbon-fibred McLaren P1 LM with “DRAGON” written on its registration plate pulled over in front of the club; in an instant, people in the queue grew silent, mesmerized by the handsome man who nonchalantly got out of the car, tossing the keys to the valet boy.

Lee Taeyong was just as good-looking as he was deadly – with his styled-up tousled vibrant-red hair, ripped black jeans, and a top-brand leather jacket, he made people turn their heads despite their gender and sexual orientation. In all honesty, I did my research, I had dozens of pictures of him, and I knew what to expect. The pictures didn’t do him justice, though. His natural beauty was enchanting, but when topped with his charisma and cocky confidence, it was a lethal mixture.

When Taeyong strolled inside his establishment, I, just like the other people who were in rapture, could finally get my shit together. It was remarkably difficult to remain in the right state of mind when he was within your eyesight, and tonight, it was going to be my most significant theft, so I couldn’t get distracted.

“You can do this,” I encouraged myself before running across the street, ready to execute the first stage of my plan.

I didn’t dare to doubt my skills for even a second. Tonight I would succeed, and Taeyong would have to call an Uber to get back to his grand mansion.

***

It’s been three days since my ingenious heist, and I was getting impatient. I wanted Taeyong to find me and talk to me, yet I was waiting and waiting, and he didn’t seem interested in getting his car back. It was actually disappointing. I couldn’t contain my curiosity; I just needed to see his reaction after I had his car tuned. I had made sure to be caught on their CCTV, so he would quickly track my traces, but it only proved me he was working with rookies.

Checking the time on my wristwatch, I walked into the run-down car repair shop, wanting to sneak one last peek at my masterpiece before I’d put a cover over it so Taeyong would gasp upon the big reveal. The new car paint looked amazing – Doyoung, my friend and a mechanic, did a great job dying it hot pink. Too bad, he was too scared to wait for Taeyong with me. I couldn’t blame him, though. Taeyong was known for his short temper, and it was understandable that Doyoung didn’t want to stick around to witness Taeyong’s wrath.

“What is taking him so long?” I asked myself as I plopped down in a ripped leather armchair, cracking a cold one. “How long does it take them to find the guys who don’t want to be found?” I wondered, pulling my phone, scrolling through the new content on my social media.

It was taking them forever, but when the sun was slowly setting behind the horizon, I could hear a vehicle park in front of the car repair shop. Judging by the engine’s roars, the car was expensive.

It must’ve been Taeyong himself.

“Finally,” I hollered as I got on my feet, throwing my slowly dying phone on the armchair. If the crime lord showed up, he needed to be welcomed accordingly. Taeyong was a royalty amongst gangers, and he deserved the best treatment.

Midnight blue Bugatti Chiron registered under “FURY” stopped on the parking lot, and I waited for Taeyong to get out. Seconds passed, and he was still sitting comfortably in the vehicle, building the tension. I didn’t feel stressed, though. Although we hadn’t been properly introduced, I knew a whole lot about him – he was famous for his rage. However, right now, he had to be impressed rather than enraged. Or at least, it was the emotion I hoped for him to feel.

Only a complete psycho, and me, would dare to steal one of his automobiles.

The descending sun was blinding me, and when I raised my hand to block the direct sunlight, the car doors opened. Even in daylight, Taeyong looked like a five-course meal. Today, he was wearing a pair of blue jeans and a Gucci T-shirt; the outfit was simple, yet on him, it looked elevated.

“Very impressive,” he shouted loudly before he coolly walked over. “You’ve got balls, I have to give you that,” he added, and I smirked, considering his words as a compliment. Men of high positions often have trouble complimenting people, let alone women, and Taeyong didn’t seem to be an exception.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, too,” I answered politely, offering him a handshake, which he contemptuously denied. “I must say, I expected to meet you sooner,” I jabbed, but Taeyong only looked at me condescendingly before he walked inside, impatient to check up on his stolen property.

“My people located you yesterday morning, but I wanted to see you in person, and you must know, I am a busy person,” he explained, studying the shabby interior. “No one steals from me.”

“Well… I already have, and it was easier than I previously assumed,” I answered confidently before approaching the cover. “I have a surprise for you, are you ready?” Taeyong didn’t even flinch, and I considered his indifference as an agreement. With one quick pull, I uncovered the vehicle, allowing him to see my teeny tiny change. “I hope you like pink.”

Taeyong grew silent.

I had told Doyoung to change the car paint to hot pink, yet Taeyong didn’t even blink. I expected him to get pissed or, at least, annoyed, but when I looked at his features, I couldn’t see any reaction.

“Actually, pink is my favorite color,” Taeyong emotionlessly announced, and I only stared at him in utter confusion.

What the fuck?

“Well… I expected a different reaction,” I spoke, the wires in my brain incapable of coming up with anything intelligent. A guy with such a foul reputation favors the color pink.

Imagine my shock.

Apparently, Taeyong is a man of many layers.

“Who are you?” Taeyong condescendingly asked as he sat comfortably in the armchair, putting my phone on the armrest. Calmly, he leaned backward, crossed his legs, and entwined his fingers over his bent knee, waiting for me to tell him everything he wanted to know.

“I think you already know who I am,” I stated, and he just stared at me intensely. His people must’ve done a background check on me, yet he still wanted to hear it again. Stealing his car was one thing, but disrespecting him about such trivial matter seemed way worse. Doing something so risky and bold was admirable in his eyes, but wasting his time like this was just annoying, so I simply did what was expected of me.

I told Taeyong about my childhood – how I spent my allowance on go-kart races; it was my escape whenever my father got drunk and picked up fights with my mom. Then, I disclosed my secrets on how I began stealing cars – when I was seventeen, because of excessive drinking, my father needed a liver transplant, and it was the only way of getting money remotely quickly. Later, at the age of twenty-one, I participated in my first street race, though this time, it wasn’t because I needed money – I did it because I enjoyed the thrill.

“How did you steal it? How, on Earth, did you go inside the club without any of my workers noticing you?” Taeyong asked, and although he must’ve already concluded my operating plan, he wanted me to explain it myself. This time around, I didn’t even hesitate.

“I blended in,” I shortly answered with a shrug. “It wasn’t that difficult to find out all the information I needed to get inside unnoticed. I checked all your staff’s social media accounts; it took me like… three days of stalking to get their names and work schedules. That night, I sneaked into the club right after your arrival, and when somebody asked me something, I told them I was busy doing the thing the manager wanted me to do. They just assumed I am the new girl. Normally, I don’t do things like that when I steal a car, but this time around, I wanted to do something extra. Are you impressed?” I challenged, and Taeyong cocked his eyebrow, deeply in thought.

“Huh, last question. Why have you done it?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” I inquired rhetorically, and Taeyong didn’t even bother to give me a proper answer. He seemed bored, and it was making me feel a little bit fed-up. “Well… in all honesty, I am sick and tired of freelancing, I want to work for you,” I elaborated, and Taeyong just chuckled as if I just told him a hilarious joke. Why was he laughing? It was a reasonable proposition, and besides, I’ve already proven my amazing skills.

“I’m not recruiting, sorry,” Taeyong spoke when he stood up and glanced at his pink vehicle. Well… it was a harsh rejection. “You have one day to return my car, or I will have my henchman kill you,” he added, walking up to me until he invaded my personal space.

“Asshole,” I whispered loud enough for him to hear me. Taeyong already knew what I was capable of, yet for some reason, he still decided not to give me a chance. It was a dick move, and I couldn’t let him have the last word.

“You’re feisty. I like that,” Taeyong said at last, “Let’s meet on Friday, at the Superhuman. Midnight. Don’t be late.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me, and don’t forget to bring my fucking car.”

***

“She’s here,” Jaehyun told Taeyong as soon as the gatekeeper forwarded the message. “I can’t believe you didn’t kill her back then,” he added matter-of-factly, remembering the infamous car theft. No matter how many times he thought about it, he couldn’t comprehend how someone could be so stupid to mess with his boss. What puzzled him even more, however, was the fact that Taeyong seemed rather impressed by this woman’s actions.

“I was surprised too,” Taeyong answered honestly. “Can you believe she had the audacity to ask me to recruit her?”

Jaehyun was stupefied. “Well… are you going to?”

“Actually, I am not sure,” Taeyong replied hesitantly. It wasn’t how the regular recruitment process worked, but the woman intrigued him. She had seemed quite keen on working for him, and he was curious how much she wanted this job. “I haven’t decided yet,” Taeyong added, and Jaehyun looked at his boss in concern; Taeyong was impulsive in his decisions, and the fact that he hasn’t made up his mind yet was rather peculiar.

“You can’t be serious,” Jaehyun commented, hoping for Taeyong to come back to his senses. This wasn’t the way the things were dealt with here; if someone dared to mess with the leader, death was the kindest thing they could hope for. If other members found out about it, they might’ve thought Taeyong was getting soft. She disrespected the leader, and she ought to have faced the consequences.

“Bring her in, Jaehyun,” Taeyong ordered, dismissing Jaehyun’s concerns.

“Of course.”

“I expected to meet you in one of the VIP lounges, not in your office,” I spoke the second Taeyong’s henchman led me into an expensive-looking office at the back of the club. “You should’ve given me heads-up, I would’ve dressed accordingly,” I carried on, glancing down at my not suitable clothes.

My outfit consisted of a cropped T-shirt, denim shorts, fishnets, and a pair of combat shoes, and it did not look appropriate under these circumstances. I was expecting a flirty conversation in Taeyong’s natural habitat of leather lounges, expensive drinks, and beautiful girls competing amongst each other for his attention, but instead, he surprised me with a job interview in his private office at the back of his club. If only I had known, I would’ve dressed suitably.

“Leave us alone, Jaehyun,” Taeyong spoke in an authoritarian tone, and his associate left the room without any further comment.

The second I heard the doors click, I let out a breath of relief. For some reason, the henchman’s presence gave me chills. It was difficult to remain composed with Taeyong in such close vicinity, however, when accompanied by the other dangerous man, I felt uncomfortably anxious.

Taeyong’s piercing gaze was fixated on me, and it made me blush a little bit. He was hot as hell, and in all honesty, any woman would react this way if alone with him.

With one fluid motion, he commanded me to sit, and with a sheepish smile on my face, I obliged.

“You seem to be in a good mood,” I started, but Taeyong only smirked, sliding an A4 format envelop across the desk. “What is this?” I asked in confusion, but Taeyong just sat back, entwining his fingers together, enjoying my reaction.

Gang members didn’t sign employment contracts – that’d be silly.

“You admittance,” he started, and I cocked my eyebrow, trying to understand what the hell was going on. “Inside the envelope, you’ll find all the necessary information about your new assignment. Bring this car to me within a week, and you’ll be officially the newest addition to the family.”

It was interesting.

Taeyong had already seen me in action, yet he needed another proof of my qualifications. Actions speak louder than words, but my most recent ones screamed and ought to echo in his ears for years!

“Don’t look at me like that, it’s just a regular procedure, don’t take it personally,” Taeyong added, but I wasn’t exactly buying that. There must’ve been something that he didn’t tell me. There was a catch, it must’ve been. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have that playful spark in his eyes the whole time.

 “I’ll text you the meeting location sometime this week,” he added with a genuine smile, and I didn’t even dare to question how he got my number. “Good luck, doll,” smirking, Taeyong whispered, and I started questioning his intentions.

It must’ve been a set-up.

“I look forward to hearing from you,” I answered respectfully, quickly standing up, wanting to run out of the club. Curiosity was killing me; I had to peek inside the envelope, but I couldn’t do it in front of Taeyong. I hoped he acknowledged me as fearless and confident, and I couldn’t allow him to change his opinion about me. One hesitant glance at the papers could ruin my image, and I couldn’t let it happen.

“Are you out of your mind? You can’t be serious! Tell me you didn’t recruit her,” Jaehyun angrily stormed into Taeyong’s office, fed up with the leader’s decision. The girl left the club alive, and it’s not the outcome he anticipated. Jaehyun would break her neck if only Taeyong told him to. Letting her scot-free was a mistake, and it was crazy that Jaehyun was the only one to realize it.

“Calm down, Jaehyun,” Taeyong announced casually, making Jaehyun a bit confused. “I did give her an assignment, but don’t you worry about it. She’s gonna fail. She’s good, but not that good,” Taeyong added, and both of them smirked mischievously.

***

I’ve never been more anxious. My grip on the envelope was tight, my knuckles turning white, and I really had mixed feelings about opening it. Taeyong’s mischievous smirk couldn’t have been a good omen.

On the other hand, I couldn’t let the stress weaken me, so I did what any other person in my shoes would do – I went to the liquor store and bought the biggest bottle of gin they had. Regardless of what Taeyong had assigned me to do, it would be easier to digest when drunk.

Then I hailed the cab and dialed Doyoung’s number. He picked up after the fourth ring. “I’m coming over,” I quickly said, notifying him before my arrival. As my friend, he would help me if the alcohol was to fail.

“You’re alive, so I assume it didn’t go that bad,” Doyoung spoke when he opened the doors and let me in. Not bothering to greet him, I walked passed him and shoved the bottle of gin into his hands. “Are we celebrating?” He asked, kicking the doors shut, “please, tell me we’re celebrating.”

“I don’t know,” I answered, plopping into an old armchair, throwing the envelope on the coffee table. “We’re about to find out. Taeyong gave me another assignment, but pour me a drink first. I’m not sure I can handle it sober,” I explained, and Doyoung knew what to do. Within a minute, he was back with two Scooby-doo mugs and a bottle of tonic.

“It can’t be that bad,” he started as he sat down on the couch on the other side of the coffee table, pouring us drinks, which were basically 80% alcohol. “I mean… you’ve stolen his car; can it get any more challenging than that?” Doyoung asked, and I actually had to admit he was right. Taeyong’s the most dangerous crime lord in the country; as long as he didn’t make me steal Kim Jongun’s tank, I should be fine. However, on the second thought, I didn’t know Taeyong that well, so the guess might’ve not been that farfetched.

“I don’t want to open this envelope,” I confessed as I picked up the mug with Shaggy’s face and took a large gulp.

“Do you want me to do that for you?” Doyoung proposed, and I nodded. Perhaps if Doyoung read it out for me, it would’ve been easier to accept my fate. “Because you’re all stressed out, I’m all fidgety too,” Doyoung added before he grabbed the envelope, looking inside.

“What does it say?” I inquired in curiosity, hoping to hear some good news.

“It looks like you gotta steal a yellow Ferrari LaFerrari,” Doyoung started, as he pulled out a picture of my target. OK, it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, it was doable. “And it belongs to someone called Yuta,” he spoke, and I jumped to my feet and snatched the papers out of Doyoung’s hands in disbelief.

It must’ve been a sick joke.

“It can’t be,” I whispered, refusing to comprehend what Taeyong wanted of me. He was a complete psycho if he thought I could steal one of Yuta’s cars.

“Do you know this dude?” Doyoung inquired, reaching for his cup with Fred.

“Do I know this dude?” I deadpanned, trying not to burst out in tears. I was royally screwed. “It’s Nakamoto Yuta. He’s the royalty of Yakuza. He’s basically Taeyong’s biggest rival,” I explained, and it got Doyoung speechless.

“Well… it sucks,” he whispered, downing his drink, ignoring the burn. “What are you gonna do?”

“Good question,” I replied, coping Doyoung’s actions, drinking my gin to the very last drop. “Even if I manage to steal his car, how am I supposed to get it across the border? It’s a suicide mission.”

“Is there anything else in the envelope?” Doyoung asked, and I put all the papers on the coffee table. Among documents about Yuta’s bio, there was a check for 20 grand written under my name. “Mr. Bad Boy must’ve felt generous,” he commented, but I didn’t find it amusing. Mr. Bad Boy, as Doyoung eloquently put it, would kill me if I failed this mission.

“Generous or not, I’m gonna be dead if I don’t bring this car to him within a week,” I muttered, feeling helpless. I lacked ideas on how to conduct the theft successfully, and the time was slowly running out.

“You can do this,” Doyoung stated confidently, not even a sliver of hesitation in his tone. He was absolutely sure of my skills, and I wished I had as much faith in myself as he had in me. “We have no time to waste; pack everything you need, we’re going to Japan.”

“Do you have a plan, though?”

“We’ll come up with one on our way.”

***

Doyoung was right; we had no time to waste. God, in times like these, I was really thankful he was my friend. Right now, when I was a nervous wreck, he was the voice of reason. If it wasn’t for him, I’d get wasted and pass out in the poodle of my own vomit. Thanks to him, I was only slightly tipsy, but productive as fuck. We made a stop by my apartment and his car repair to get everything necessary, and then took a train to the harbor.

The first ferry to Japan was leaving the docks at 7 o’clock. The journey was about to last more or less 8 hours, it was plenty of time to finish the entire bottle of gin and come up with a foolproof plan on how to steal that Ferrari.

“How about you seduce Yuta, and he lets you borrow his car?” Doyoung voiced his seventh plan this morning, and in comparison to his previous ideas, it actually seemed doable. “It’s great in its simplicity,” he added, and I shook my head in disappointment. Even if I was his type, how was I supposed to bullshit my way into his pants without any Japanese skills?

“How about you seduce Yuta, and when he’s busy drilling your ass, I’ll sneak into his mansion and snatch the car?” I proposed, and Doyoung fake-gagged at the thought of doing this. Or maybe, he just has had one shot of gin too many. One could never be sure…

“How about you seduce Yuta and talk him into doing it in his car, and when you’re about to do it, I knock him out with a rock?”

“How about we go to Yuta’s club, and you challenge him in a singing duel, and you win the car fair and square?”

“How about we find Yuta’s doppelganger to steal his identity and pay him to steal the car for you?”

“How about we kidnap Yuta and keep him hostage until they give us the car?”

“How about we hypnotize Yuta into making him lend us his car?”

Truthfully, we struggled a lot while trying to figure out the best way to prove my worth to Taeyong. Stealing Yuta’s car wasn’t an easy assignment – some people would say it was impossible. Thankfully, we came up with one solution throughout our drunken brainstorm that wasn’t that bad…

We were so drunk that I couldn’t actually remember who came up with this idea. One second, Doyoung and I were brainstorming, then, a moment later, someone woke us up because we reached the shore.

“Come on, we have no time,” Doyoung said as he picked up his bag, urging me to pick up mine and get off the ferry. I rubbed my eyes and looked at him, wondering how, on Earth, he wasn’t hungover. “You’ve got only six days left…”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” I answered, groaning.

I had an unpleasant feeling in my gut, telling me this week was going to be awful, but at least we had figured out a plan. It was far from perfection, but with proper execution, I could pull this through.

***

By sheer luck, I managed to accomplish my seemingly impossible mission. Though I didn’t fully believe in the plan, we didn’t make a single mistake, and after three days of data analyzing and one night of the actual heist, we were on our way back.

Hopefully, it was the only recruitment assignment that Taeyong wanted me to fulfill.

On Friday, one hour before the meet-up, Taeyong sent me the location.

In an hour, I’d become one of his people, and I wanted to look worthy of the new position. Wisely, I chose my best outfit, deciding to wear a pair of black leather trousers, a modest white button-down shirt, and fancy boots on a 10 centimeters heel. I looked formal, but with a fierce twist, and I gave off that cutthroat businesswoman vibe. I lived for this outfit. And to top it all, I carefully applied make-up, making sure to highlight all of my features.

I expected to meet with Taeyong in his extravagant mansion, yet he surprised and scared me at the same time with his decision. This gig cost me a lot of stress, and the last thing I wanted was to meet with the most dangerous thug in the country in a deserted meeting point in the city outskirts.

Trying to remain calm, I sighed to shake off all types of negative thoughts. Terrifying scenarios were playing in my head in which Taeyong shot me in the head and dumped my body somewhere in the woods. Taeyong was a dangerous gangster, but I believed he had the honor and would not kill me without any concrete reason.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t say the same thing about his henchmen – this Jaehyun guy in particular. It was obvious the guy hated me and was pissed with Taeyong because of me. I didn’t fancy meeting with him, it would be best if Taeyong and I could talk alone.

Punctually, I arrived at the meeting point. Nonchalantly, I got out of the vehicle, shut the doors close, and leaned against the hood, waiting for Taeyong to appear. The night was warm, yet a little bit windy – it was perfect for the employment celebration.

Taeyong was running a bit late, but I didn’t mind. Besides, he was the most wanted thug in the country; he wasn’t running late – anyone he was meeting with was just too early.

So I waited.

Thankfully, I had plenty of time to psych myself up, so when I heard an engine roar in the distance, I didn’t panic. I was confident enough to face Taeyong and genuinely smile in response to his compliments. This theft was epic, and I expected to hear how impressed he was of me. It was the only reaction I hoped to get.

I was right, it had to be Taeyong. Who else could’ve been in the jet black Audi R8 Spyder registered under “WHIPLASH”?

Having parked right beside me, Taeyong got out of the car, carefully inspecting the Ferrari. His focused eyes were studying the vehicle’s features as if trying to tell it indeed belonged to Yuta. In the meantime, I studied Taeyong’s outfit.

Tonight, he was wearing all black: a pair of high combat shoes, black cargo pants, a see-through shirt, and a leather jacket. The outfit was on point, but when topped with his new haircut – tousled and of powder pink color, Taeyong looked like a model. I wouldn’t be surprised if I found out that modeling companies contact him every once in a while to recruit him.

“How did you do it?” Taeyong asked, his tone telling me he didn’t believe in my talent. Well… that hurt a little bit, but proving him wrong gave me a lot of pleasure at the same time.

“It wasn’t easy,” I started, not really wanting to spill the beans; especially, when the story wasn’t as impressive as he might’ve thought. “I really wanted this job, so I had to figure out a plan. You know how it is… you gotta discover your enemies’ weaknesses and use them to your advantage.”

“It doesn’t answer my question, doll,” Taeyong remarked, smirking at the nickname he once again used to refer to me. It must’ve really stuck with him. “I gotta be honest with you, I expected you to fail, but you actually did it. I’m impressed,” he added, and I smiled, swiping my hair to the back in a nonchalant manner.

“What can I say? I’m really good at what I do,” I replied, looking into his eyes, trying to remain in the confident pose. “Now, it would be a mistake not to hire me,” I trailed off, making Taeyong smirk again. He was gorgeous, but when that mischievous smirk decorated his face, he was just breath-taking.

With his hands in the pockets, Taeyong took a few nonchalant steps toward me and placed his hands on the hood of the car, leaning in, trapping me between his arms. His stern glace was trying to penetrate my mind, to read me, but I managed to remain calm.

I wanted to work for him, not to hop on his dick, and though the second option seemed rather tempting, I had my priorities set straight.

“From the moment I saw you, I knew you were special,” Taeyong whispered in a husky voice, and I looked up into his eyes, swallowing hard. He was indisputably intimidating, but I couldn’t let his charm overtake me. “You seem troublesome, but at the same time, awfully skilled.”

“You bet,” I answered, trying to ignore the fact that Taeyong just pushed his leg between my thighs, inching closer and closer with every second. “Is that how you treat all your employees?” I asked, trying not to lose my cool.

“They’re not employees, they’re family,” Taeyong clarified, and I rolled my eyes, actually expecting his kind of answer from him. “And that would be weird if I treated them this way, wouldn’t it?”

“They wouldn’t be your family, but your orgy if you ask me,” I spoke matter-of-factly, waiting for his reaction since I doubted anyone was this frank with him.

“Why do I have a feeling you’re gonna be a huge pain in the ass?” Taeyong asked, hopefully not expecting an answer. “Quite talented one,” he added, dropping his head down to my neck, placing a delicate peck against my sensitive skin.

“But hey, it’s what keeps everything fresh and exciting,” I offered, suggesting looking on the bright side of these circumstances. “So… speaking of my recruitment…” I mentioned, internally wishing for Taeyong to keep his hands to himself. I was trying to be professional, and it was incredibly difficult with the boss, basically making out with my neck.

“One more test and you’re officially a new addition to the family,” Taeyong said sternly, finally pulling out. “You said you race, I want to see you in action,” he added, and I bit my bottom lip due to stress. Seriously? Another test? He got to be kidding me. “Don’t worry; it’s a formality at this point.”

Honestly, his words didn’t cheer me up at all. I had stolen his car, and then I had been to Japan to steal his rival’s car. And now, he wanted me to pass another test. Come on!

“All you gotta do is to give me a lift back to my mansion,” Taeyong announced, somewhat excited to see my driving performance. “The route takes up to 20 minutes, so I’m gonna give you ten. It sounds fair, doesn’t it?”

“What about your car? I wouldn’t leave it here if I were you,” I remarked, trying to make out a logical answer. I wouldn’t leave my bike here, let alone a sports car, knowing how much crime was going on in this particular part of the city.

“Normally, I’d not, but you see… I caught a flat tire,” Taeyong explained, and I cocked my eyebrow, trying to see which tire was pierced. I didn’t notice any damage, but then, Taeyong pulled out his gun, shooting through the left back tire, making his point. “It was an exceptionally unfortunate accident,” he added, and I rolled my eyes at him.

He was a mad man.

“OK, fine, get in, loser,” I said, inviting him inside the car. Having sat comfortably and fastened our seatbelts, Taeyong put the location into the GPS. “Are you gonna time me?”

“Of course,” Taeyong answered, extending his arm, staring at his expensive wristwatch. “You have ten minutes, starting… now.”

Carefully, I chose one of my playlists before driving off.

It was a wild ride. I was driving twice as fast as the road signs were telling me to while singing my heart out to Backstreet Boys’ biggest hits “Everybody” and “I Want It That Way”. At this point, Taeyong was probably questioning whether it was safe to get in the car with me, or not. Though I encouraged him to join me in this carpool karaoke, yet he decided not to.

The navigation system was giving me weird directions, trying to lead me into congestion. Listening to my driver’s instinct, I sped through some self-discovered shortcuts. Judging my Taeyong’s expression, he had no idea what I was doing.

In the middle of “I Want It That Way”, I had to speed up even more. Each song is about four minutes long, so I still had about three minutes left to make it to the mansion, and though I seemed rather calm, I was out of my mind.

I’ve gone too far to lose right now. I couldn’t let this short race end up my flourishing career. I had stolen two cars within two weeks, and both vehicles belonged to the most dangerous men in their countries. I couldn’t lose now.

Breaking probably all traffic laws, I managed to reach Taeyong’s mansion before the boys got to finish the last chorus.

“You’re a triple threat, doll,” Taeyong said, and I wondered what the third admirable thing about me was. Undoubtedly, he was impressed with my theft and racing skills, yet I didn’t have a clue what was the third factor. “You’re officially one of us,” he added, and I smiled widely, ecstatic to finally hear his words of approval.

After so much testing, I finally proved my worth to him, and he took me under his wings.

Having pulled out his phone, Taeyong gave me a few instructions. “From this moment onward, Lucas is your direct superior, you gotta report everything back to him; I texted you the address. Be there first thing in the morning. Better be on time, Lucas doesn’t like it when people are late.”

“Thank you, Taeyong.”

“Don’t thank me, doll,” Taeyong replied, opening the doors, ready to exit the vehicle. “You have no idea what you’ve got yourself into.”

“I’ve got one more question…” I hollered, and Taeyong sat back in the passenger seat, waiting for my final inquiry. “What am I supposed to do with this car?” I asked, and Taeyong shrugged nonchalantly, suggesting it was not his problem.

“Get rid of it, obviously,” Taeyong answered, confirming my suspicions. “It belongs to Yuta, and the last thing I want is him realizing that I have it. Burn it down, dump it in the lake, I don’t care, just make sure it’s not gonna be found.”

“Great,” I whispered, losing enthusiasm with each voiced letter. It was problematic to bring it here, yet disposing of it was going to be even worse.

“Don’t lose your spirit, doll,” Taeyong added, leaning down towards me. With his right hand, he raised my chin and pressed a delicate peck against the skin of my cheek. “Good luck, make your daddy proud,” he whispered before exiting the car, shutting the doors close.

Though Taeyong was long gone, I was sitting in the vehicle, not leaving the driveway. What the hell just happened? Not only was he using this stupid nickname, but then he dropped that daddy bomb. I was not prepared for this.  

[chalkrevelations]

Episode 32 of Word of Honor, and once again, this is just. A LOT. A LOT is happening, and all of it is A LOT. Also, show, what is even happening? I have questions. A LOT of questions.

(Spoilers. Go ahead and scroll on by, then come back later, if you want to watch it unspoiled.)

BUT FIRST, before anything else, you know I have to yell about this for a minute because we once again see that the Gu Xiang/Cao Weining relationship and the Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishou relationship are the same relationship. We get the same scene with A-Xiang and Cao Weining – again – that we’ve already seen with Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu, this time from Ep 27, with Fan Shishu in the role of Ye Baiyi. Fan Shishu (YBY) asks “Do you know who she (he) is?” and this time, Cao Weining knows, just as ZZS knew in Ep 27. Cao Weining (ZZS) literally throws himself in front of A-Xiang (WKX) to protect her (him). “Kill us both” (Ep 27). “If you’re going to hurt her, kill me first” (Ep 32). Fan Shishu, like YBY, eventually lets A-Xiang and Cao Weining go, despite having them in a position where he could do them in. Color palettes between the two couples in these scenes match again, with the younger couple being more intense this time – A-Xiang and Wen Kexing in pinks, Cao Weining and Zhou Zishu in blue. (ZZS is mainly in creams and grey, but the piping on his robes is a very light blue, I think the greys have a blue undertone to them, and when you stand him next to Chengling in more intense blue while he’s wearing that particular outfit, it really starts to pull out the blue of ZZS’s outside robe – you can see this at the end of Ep 26.) Between the way these relationships continue to mirror each other and the hairpin scene from the last ep, I honestly don’t know what our takeaway is supposed to be, other than that WKX and ZZS are essentially married.

I also find it interesting - although this almost seems like too much of a stretch to be anything other than coincidence - that we get a specific callback to Ep 27 in this episode, as Ep 27 is also when WKX talks about not wanting to lie to Chengling about who he is anymore, and this ep is when they finally (apparently) meet again after Chengling learns the truth.

Aaaand now A-Xiang is crying, so of course I’m crying. Aaaand then we have the mournful montage. Give me a minute. And some tissues. I notice how much of this mournful drunken montage is ZZS remembering all the times he was cranky with WKX. Oh, honey. No. That’s what you’re remembering, because you feel bad, but it’s not what he would remember at all, if he was looking back over his time with you. And even if he did, it would be with great fondness.

Yeah, so, if I haven’t mentioned, this episode is a LOT. We get a big confrontation between WKX and half the jianghu/the Scorpions/some of the Ghost Valley contingent, ZZS showing up to support his man, Fantastic Cranky Grandpa of my heart getting in his eleven cents, Chengling shooting one of his dads, and two yeets off a cliff. And that’s only 15 minutes into the episode. This is too much, show. And I have too many questions. Also some observations. Also some wild speculation, not just about the fact that Wen Kexing is not dead but also about how he may have (not) got that way. And not just because there’s still four episodes left, and it’s too early for him to be dead.

First a small observation but pretty significant, I think: WKX is NOT in his blood-red Ghost Valley master robes during this confrontation. In fact, I think we’ve seen this set of robes in happier days with Zhou Zishou and Chengling. Just noticing this. Also noticing WKX’s face when Shen Shen starts going on about WKX’s parents and how omg if they could see WKX now they’d die all over from the shame, and WKX’S expression is like, the fucking audacity of Shen Shen saying this, and if he could actually kill people with the power of his mind, Shen Shen would be twitching and frothing on the ground. Also noticing the complete change when WKX sees Chengling – it’s like Shen Shen ceases to even exist for him. Gong Jun, your face, it’s killing me. Anyway, I’m going to start wildly speculating here for a minute, because WKX is willing to let Chengling kill him, because he’s so tired and wants to stop fighting, but he’s going to kick everyone else’s ass who even tries it? And then Chengling is actually the one who shoots him and yeets him off the cliff? Is this a set up? Is Chengling in on this? Is he the one who’s supposed to “kill” WKX? If so, at what point did we get Chengling in on this? And who did it? Did Chengling send what’s his name, Jing Beiyuan’s guard, away on purpose at this particular point, because he knew ZZS would show up in time for this confrontation if he heard about Chengling’s reaction to the news about WKX? And do I actually believe Chengling is smart enough – and a good enough actor – to pull off any of this? (Look, I love our little goldbean plenty, but let’s face it, he’s not the brightest kid running around here.)

Also, my dudes. My clever little killers. Xie Wang and Wen Kexing. I am unwilling to believe that you two aren’t somehow still together on this in some way in order to fuck over Awful Yifu. Your antagonistic back and forth seems a little bit like playing roles. Xie Wang gives Awful Yifu a weird side-eye a few times when Awful Yifu talks about how tricksy and cunning WKX is, like maybe he’s reconsidering, and do not tell me you’re questioning and reconsidering whatever deal you’ve made with WKX, little gambler. Why does your Awful Yifu’s bs always work on you? This is really not the time to roll the dice again. I’m assuming A-Xiang is still the only one who knows about their tete-a-tete? If so, this is a side-take I never would have expected on “you don’t fail me, and I won’t fail you.” Honor among thieves? Stick to the plan, Xie’er, whatever the hell it is. Do not blink.

So then, Ye Baiyi shows up, and my immediate reaction is NO. My beloved cranky grandpa, don’t fuck this up, because whatever is going on seems to already have a lot of moving parts with a lot of places for things to go wrong! But … are you in on it, too? Have YOU coordinated with Chengling? (If so, maybe you should have warned him to expect ZZS’s wild-card self-yeet over the cliff’s edge, since you’ve already seen how self-destructive self-sacrificing these two can get over each other.) Making me even more suspicious, Ye Baiyi later proceeds to walk out of a banquet before even eating anything. This guy is walking away from food? There is no clearer sign in this ep that something is up.

Also, while we’re on the banquets, listen. I cannot be the only one who wants to punch Zhao Jing in the face during his interminable yapping during both post-fight banquets. This is one of those places where the show and the actor have done their job too well, because he is so dislikeable and so off-putting that I almost can’t bear to actually watch him. And yet, I can’t fast-forward, because what if I miss some info? Like the fact that … you know, I went back to watch this bit three times, and that is a very … interesting series of camera shots during the second banquet - after the toasts, just as a couple of randoms start advocating for Zhao Jing as head of the Five Lakes Alliance, and we move from Xie’er to Shen Shen to Chengling, all of them still standing, facing Zhao Jing after their individual toasts, all of them in a formation that’s almost caging him in from the front and both sides. It gets more interesting every time I watch it. Is … is Shen Shen also in on this, somehow?

See, I know that is a lot of wild speculation. I know Wen Kexing got yeeted off a cliff, and Ye Baiyi was busy catching Zhou Zishu. And we saw a body. And ZZS set that body on fire. But I also know that Liu Qianqiao was the person holding vigil outside the shed where the body was being held. And I know she’s the other person, besides ZZS, who we know of that knows the facemask disguise technique (in fact, didn’t she learn it from ZZS’s shifu?) We actually get reminded of this later on in this very episode. Which makes me wonder if that was actually WKX’s body, or somebody else, in the shed. Who “found” that body and recovered it? Was it a Scorpion or one of the Ghost Valley contingent? Also, where’s that key WKX was waving around, and why does no one seem to remember it?

 Other things:

lol at A-Xiang’s reaction to Jing Beiyun talking about how ZZS used to ask him to set ZZS up with girls. Further lol at Jing Beiyuan, “And funny enough, he was NEVER interested in them. Welp, time for another drink!” Seriously, Qi Ye, we like you, you can absolutely stay.

Still at the banquets, Xie Wang seems discombobulated during a lot of this. And then when Awful Yifu calls him Zhao Xie’er in front of everybody, holy shit, he’s getting everything he ever wanted. Xie’er, you … you’re not going to fall for this again, are you? Please tell me you are not falling for this again, at what is likely a crucial moment. This is NO TIME to take another roll of the dice, little gambler. Stick with the plan, whatever the hell it is.

Oh, hey! Are we finally getting some backstory on Fantastic Cranky Grandpa? Oh. OH. “Our child?” What is up, my friend? (I did go back to Ep 16, when WKX calls Chengling “my child” while defending him against Ye Baiyi, and looking at the Mandarin subtitles, I can’t entirely figure out (with my Level 2 Duolingo Mandarin) all of the nuances of these two references, but it doesn’t look like they’re using the same words to describe these relationships.) So some further wild speculation: Apparently, Cranky Grandpa Fantastico is solitary drinking in the dark instead of feasting at the banquet, over someone who (he feels) foolishly wanted to save the lost souls in the Ghost Valley? And now he feels like fate is making fun of him? And he’s asking Dead Beloved what he would do in Ye Baiyi’s position? Ye Baiyi, is it possible that fate is making fun of you because you have found yourself in the position of saving a lost soul from the Ghost Valley? Also, Ye Baiyi, I’ve noticed the children have been turning you grey. I don’t think you had that grey streak when you showed up for the first Hero’s Conference, did you? In fact, I feel like you got offended when WKX talked shit about possible grey hairs on your head. 

Duan Pengju, this asshole, omg … OMG. Well. I guess you got your confirmation, Xie’er. Were you really considering rolling the dice again? AT THIS POINT?

[leiteemanuelle79]

Color theory in the Karate Kid Universe

What the colors say about each character, and what will be Hawk's next hair color?

So, as Eli "shed his loser skin", and grew a mohawk, there was a significant change in the character, obviously the colors wouldn't be random, the character may not have a clue, but today I'm gonna walk you through what I think could be the meaning behind all this. Before we get into Hawk, we gotta go way back to 1984, and start this with the fisrt Karate Kid movie.

Red v.s. Blue

These two colors are very strong in the franchise, and we'll start by the fisrt time we see Daniel LaRusso, he's wearing a blue shirt, which means he is not trying to show power or strength, in fact he never wanted to be there so he doesn't care.

That day he goes to the beach, wearing the same clothe, but he meets Ali and when he changes, he's wearing red, to look strong for her and make a presence (by the way, I don't think the characteres actually chose the colors to say something, I think that the people who work with the art and clothes of the movie did, but just so it's easier, we're gonna assume that the characters did.). Someone else is also in red: Johnny Lawrence. He gets into the fight and loses. The next day he's wearing red again, this time to show power and resistence. Even though the shirt has some blue in it, it's mainly red. That day in school, he gets into a little fight and comes out as the wrong guy A couple days later, he tells his mom about his interest in karate (to get revenge as he assumed later to Mr. Miyagi), he's once again wearing red, and he sees Johnny in the dojo, later that night, the cobras make him fall down the mountain with his bike. So basically, so far we have the dynamic of, wearing red, and getting your ass kicked.

After that, he goes to a phase that he wears colors like Mr. Myiagi does, which are brown-ish, yellow-ish, basically what I think they mean, is that you don't want to be noticed or you don't want to show off.

Later in the story, in the Halloween dance, the shower costume Daniel is wearing is red, but there's something very interesting about it, inside he's wearing a blue shirt, the mirror scene is the perfect representation of that, when he has the shower opend he's vulnarable, and he's afraid, but when he closes it he feels powerful enough to make Johnny wet, as he runs and the showers opens, he starts losing the courage, until the shower falls, all the red is gone, he's not feeling cool, he's terrified, and he gets his ass kicked, so now we know, blue means weak, or at least that's what he thought.

After Mr. Miyagi accepts having him as a student, and asks for Kreese to pohibt his students to hurt Daniel, he feels weak, but also he's not afraid to show it, because he knows he won't get hurt. So he pretty much only wears blue.

Untill the day he had a date with Ali, and wanted to show off, because when he went on a date with her for the first time, he was wearing blue and her rich parents saw the sittuation of his mom's car, so he felt embarrassed. He tries red, but guess what? It doesn't go well.

After that Daniel carries wearing pretty much only blue, and Johnny red, as we can see in episode 9, season 1 of cobra kai, "Different but same" and in episode 2 of season 3 "Nature vs. Nurture", with the only difference being that the colors get even stronger in the second one, while in the first they both had shades of grey.

Black v.s. White

The next super import colors are black and white. Their head bands are the perfect example of this, because Johnny's is black, and Daniel's is white and blue also their gi are colored with these two extremely contrastant colors, but I think that there are a lot more sutil ways in which both show and movie show this contrast. If you take a look at the photos that daniel is wearing red, there's always some white in it, and pretty much all the time Johnny has some sort of black in him, like in the club day, where he's wears more neutral colors to blend in the crowd, he even wears a shade of blue to look like a nice person to Ali, but if you look closely, you'll see the tie is black.

There's a very interesting analogy to that in Cobra Kai, when Miguel is trying to find Johnny good clothes to take pictures, he finds a bunch of white shirts, but we never see Johnny wearing them, so I guess that's a metaphore to the good he has inside.

But there's another image that I think is the perfect representation of that, see, the only place Johnny wears white is at the dojo, and I believe that is, because the only person that Lawrence fears/respects is his sensei, the only one in the room that wears black. This single frame says so much about the caracters:

There we see Mr. Myiagi and Daniel almost out of the frame, they're being repressed by the whole dojo. Kreese sees Miyagi as a small old man, and that is showed in this frame too, by his position, Mr. Miyagi though looks at Kreese in the eye, fearless, but Daniel is really scared, wearing blue and he can't look at anyone's eyes, while Johnny assumed the "pronto" position as all the other students, like an army. About the clothing now, as I mentioned, Kreese is the only one wearing black, because one, black means bad and dark, which he surely is, and two, he likes feeling like the strongest man, and black causes fear in the students. Johnny is all in white showing visually what Mr. Miyagi said: "There's no such thing as a bad student..." Here, Johnny is just another student, a good one following orders, but both head band and belt are black, showing the influence Kreese has on him, it's almost as if the black was a stain caused by Kreese in Johnny's good heart. It's interesting that Johnny holds the red flag, we know that there's a white one too, but since nothing is random as I mentioned, him holding the red one means that he'll always have violence with him, that he carries that. And Mr. Miyagi is as always wearing the same color palette, not showing anything.

Next post I'm gonna get into the new generation and how they show themselves with their clothes based on this.

[clevervonskelli]

The Liberator (2020)

I have been excited about this project since the very first hints about it were released, so in full disclosure I have to admit that I approached this with high hopes. I also have to disclose that – despite being a huge military history nerd and a fan of reading source material before adaptions are made – I have not had a chance to read The Liberator: One World War II Soldier's 500-Day Odyssey from the Beaches of Sicily to the Gates of Dachau by Alex Kershaw, so I cannot speak to how accurate anything is, nor can I comment on the quality of the original material either. Here are my thoughts on the visual choices, the characterizations and narrative structure, and the approach to diversity and representation. 

The hybrid-animated style is something that I was a bit surprised by because even after watching the trailers that were released my poor grad-school-addled brain processed it as a marketing choice just for promo. Everything looked like a comic page done by an awesome colourist and it I was :O but also :D Since I love comics, especially those that use muted palettes and a realistic style, I think I adapted to watching something that didn’t look like every other war drama out there a lot faster than my parents, who were watching with me. Comics and war (and WWII in particular) have a fascinating and interconnected history, so although it is a unique way of styling the show it also fits it so well! At times I did find myself wanting to see the characters faces in a bit more detail but, in fact, closeups were better than farther shots. Facial ticks and micro expressions came through well in most scenes and I was impressed all over again with the work the animations teams must have done as well as by the voice work and performances by the actors. I’m so familiar with Bradley James’ face and movements that I was never worried about missing something in his performance because of the show’s visual aesthetics and I feel like all the other cast members were just as transparent to me despite having never had the pleasure of watching them before. Overall, the visual style of the series gave it a certain charm and I imagine it helped to mitigate effects costs on what I don’t THINK was a project with a big budget.

The story itself is one that I really enjoyed. The character Felix Sparks is such a central hero, and I can certainly see how he could come off as too good to be true. The same can be said for most of the characters, from Sergeant Sam Coldfoot’s tenacity and escape from death to the German soldiers who show mercy and do not shoot Sparks while collecting his dead and wounded men from the mountain. **[This in particular seemed odd to me since they were from an SS unit and those dudes were generally some of the nastiest Nazis to ever serve but maybe its from the book, idk. It also underlines the “ugh, officers, ammirite? Except you Sparks, you’re an okay guy” vibe that is so common for military dramas by showing that on both sides there are men who are just soldiers being soldiers. Similar to the events in Aschaffenburg and at Dachau, we are purposefully reminded that there are good and bad people on both sides].                                                                                                                      I think that the heroic portrayals of the characters (while a tiny bit one-dimensional) mostly speak to what the real men must have been like. Or, perhaps more relevantly, to how they have been remembered. This is where I think the source material and how it is used becomes a big factor. Kershaw’s book uses historical research and interviews with Sparks, some of his men, and even some German soldiers. As I said, I have not read it but knowing his style a lot of the elements in the show that feel quite ‘all hail the conquering heroes’, or that are so focussed on the brotherhood of the unit, likely come from his narrative choices. I’m willing to believe that the members of the Thunderbirds were brave and caring men who did what was best for the outcome of the war and for each other, regardless of the personal cost or the expectations of the American military/society at large. We see some of their ‘faults’ in the series – something that is often only possible when it comes to accounts of small-unit fighting – and they are not actually perfect; it just happens to be that those faults have favourable outcomes or are mediated in the particular context of WWII, especially when we are looking back on them decades later. If the character’s representation largely reflects how they have been remembered it seems simplistic to forsake stories expressing awe and hope for daring to do so when the limitations or biases inherent to memory are also at fault. I believe it will always be important to tell the stories of individuals who inspire us to be better, which I think The Liberator does in a few different ways. All the same, having more time to dig deeper into the characters would have made them much more dynamic and would have been amazing.

On that note, it is important to be critical of how the ethnic/racial differences were addressed. The focus of the series narrows quite a bit by the end of the first episode to follow Sparks. I believe that the Kershaw book uses him as a primary interviewee, so that plays into it, but this is also where having the series be longer would have made a difference. Following a central character is a model of historical narrative that works and has worked for quite some time. It is essentially a safe bet for a project like this that I’m sure did not have the luxury of taking chances, but it didn’t allow for us to really dive into the other characters beyond what see of them through Sparks’ eyes. As the 2ndLt and later Captain of the battalion I think it’s fair to have a significant portion of the story told from his perspective or with him as a focal point because his position affords him the most information to share, but adding more variation of voices could have been so good! Instances of other characters talking about him in the series are great moments that give the other characters more ‘screen-time’ and also nicely back up the claims of brotherhood and togetherness that the overall story is making about the men. Having them speak about themselves too would have been even more awesome. The elements of simplification or Nationalism that can be felt when Sparks whips the men into shape and they become a fine fighting unit made up of usually segregated Native American/Indigenous, Mexican American, and white cowboy soldiers would be mediated by this more equal sharing of perspective. I have little doubt that the real men came together in an unexpected but inspirational way that discarded (most) of the prejudices that existed outside of their little bubble in order to fight a common enemy – at the very least their strategic accomplishments and survival would suggest as much. The portrayal of their coming-together would benefit from being a tad less contrived or solely laid on Sparks’ shoulders.

Overall, I really enjoyed the series and I hope more people watch it. It’s not perfect by any means but it does do a nice job of making a small but important chunk of history more accessible and it attempts to provide a realistic representation of events that border the unimaginable.

I would love to hear what anyone else thought of it.