#can't decide what to write next ive started one and it's not going great

[hsangel64]

bandmates pt. 7 !

pairings: bassist!ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: it’s been a couple of weeks and you and ellie were officially together but ellie has been acting suspicious and it feels like you're together only behind closed doors.

warnings: angst angst angst (sorry !!), cussing, slight smut, use of y/n

a/n: i am trying my best to be back and write, ive been in the process of moving and i just got in the mindset to write!! I had a plan for this and then stopped writing this for a while so this series will have more than just a couple of chapters left, i'm not sure yet!! anyways good to be back hope you enjoy!!

you and ellie were doing fine, great even! but only in your guys' room. you have been so happy the past few weeks, but it was starting to feel a little off. you didn't think much of it but that still didn't stop that small anxious pit in your stomach from forming. you liked ellie so much and was so happy this was finally reality that you didn't see the red flags ahead of time.

"do we really have to go to this stupid get together?" ellie whined and you giggled.

"yes unfortunately we do, speaking of which we need to get up really soon to get ready." ellie groaned and turned away from you and got out of bed. she walked over to her closet while pouting and grabbed some clothes considering we were only in underwear....

you sat up and grabbed an outfit from your closet. ellie came up from behind you and kissed your cheek and made her way down to your neck. you giggled and squished her face in your neck, you tried to push her away, but she fought against your small weak nudges.

"ellie we can't, we have to go dina and jesse really want us there to meet these people."

"we could be late." she said in that sultry voice she puts on. you felt a shiver down your spine and so badly wanted to fall for it but you knew how much this meant to dina and didn't want to let her down.

"no els we gotta go i don't want to let dina down." you laughed as she kept kissing you neck and reaching down you back. she turned you around and kissed your lips, you melted into her mouth and couldn't resist the urge to just go for yet another round of the day, but you fought back and slowly pulled away. you gave her that look a sad puppy dog would give and she groaned and then smiled at you.

"ugh fine, only because you're cute and i love you." you let out a small gasp, ellie hadn't said i love you yet. a small smile made it to your face and she smiled back.

"i love you too." you smiled at each other and kissed again, you both went on and got ready for the get together.

----

you two were sitting on the couch together next to dina and jesse at someone's house you didn't know, you just wanted to be home with ellie. the air felt super awkward and ellie felt a little distant. you didn't think much of that until you all introduced yourselves.

"this is ellie and y/n!" dina introduced us to everyone else and they all collectively said hello.

"how did you all meet?" one of the girls asked and ellie answered.

"y/n and i have been friends since before we could remember and met dina and jesse in high school band class. we all became really good friends and formed our band, coastal."

"that's really cool, you guys all seem so close is it just dina and jesse together? some girl asked while making flirty eyes with ellie.

"yeah it is, me and y/n are best friends and i wouldn't have it any other way." your face shifted and you gently whipped your head towards ellie in a questioning way, she was already looking at the girl with that same flirty look and you turned away and excused yourself to the bathroom. dina noticed your change in behavior and decided to follow after you. you quickly made your way to the bathroom before dina could make it in and you closed the door in front of her face.

"babes are you okay? what happened?" you tuned her questions out and your mind drifted. you could tell something was wrong, you knew it felt weird that you two weren't going on dates or that she acted different outside of the dorm. you saw all the red flags but was too oblivious to see what was going on. your eyes slowly filled with tears and you didn't even realize you were crying until you snapped back into reality and heard dina bang on the door.

"hey, are you okay what's going on??" you turned and opened the door, dina gasped and pushed her way into the room seeing your state.

'what's going on, talk to me." she held your face and wiped your tears, you felt so overwhelmed with emotions and couldn't make out the words so you said.

"ellie is an asshole." she looked at you saddened and nodded her head saying i know, she grabbed you and pulled you into her. you silently cried into the crook of her neck and just felt so angry. you were mad at yourself for thinking this was going to work. you didn't want to cry anymore about it so you gently pulled away and turned to the faucet and wiped your face down of the mascara streaks. dina helped you pull yourself together and you both made your way back into the living room. everyone was preoccupied with mario kart on the tv and didn't even notice you two coming back. you sat down on the couch next to jesse and dina occupied the spot next to ellie. she turned over and looked at you and nodded her head asking if you were okay. you looked away and dina pushed her head towards the tv and diverted her attention away from you.

for the rest of the time you guys were there you sat on the couch with your back against the cushion and your head slouched. dina tried her best to stop ellie from talking to you and left you alone till you guys left.

----

when you guys were getting ready to leave you all said your goodbyes and you saw ellie and that girl exchange numbers, you felt sick to your stomach and didn't want to face her in the car. you turned away and walked out of the house without anyone, you guys weren't to far from the dorm so you just decided to walk on your own.

as you walked you made it to the gas station right by the school so you stopped for a slushy. you walked in and grabbed the biggest size, you needed this. you also grabbed some ice cream and made your way out. you sat on the curb for a little and pulled out your phone to a million notifications.

40 texts from ellie, 20 missed calls from dina, it all felt too much. so you texted dina and said you were fine and just decided to walk home. dina proceeded to cuss you out in your texts and raved about how dangerous that was for you to walk alone by yourself. you rolled your eyes and got up from the curb and walked to rest of the way towards the campus.

you found your way back and checked their locations to see they were home so you just knocked on the door. ellie answered and quickly let you in. you made your way to your shared room and grabbed some clothes.

"hey what happened back there?" she quietly asked and you rolled your eyes. you made your way to the shower but not before ellie squeezed her way through the door.

"bee what's wrong?" she grabbed your arm and you felt sick, you pushed her away and started to take your makeup off before your shower. she put her hand back on you and you pushed her away again getting frustrated now.

"why do you keep pushing me away, what happened back there?" you pushed her away hard and felt that tickle in your throat. you grumbled and said wouldn't you like to know under your breath, but it wasn't very quiet, so she heard.

"what do you mean? i would like to know. what's up with you?"

"i don't know ellie you tell me."

"I don't know y/n that's why i'm asking." you rolled your eyes starting to get more frustrated with her.

"maybe it was the fact that you just called me your friend and not your girlfriend?? i guess i missed something but i thought us having sex all the time and calling each other girlfriends meant just friends."

"i just called you best friend it isn't a big deal i'm sorry." she didn't sound sorry.

"it's a big deal to me ellie."

"well, i'm sorry." she shrugged and you scoffed at her nonchalant movement.

“i really don’t want to deal with this can you please leave i want to shower.” she didn’t pick up a fight and left. you sighed and wiped your face from any left over tears. you made your way into the shower and let the warm water help you forget about your thoughts for just one second.

————

a/n: i’m sorry this was short !! it was more of a filler before we get into some good angst and drama!! chapter 8 and possibly 9 will be out tomorrow!!

taglist:

@gold-dustwomxn @lil-elliesgf @hopelesssheaven @elliestears @cjrights

[spoopydooblr]

The Ken and Stella pregnancy blurb was so good could you write one where they find out that she’s pregnant?

ive been thinking about this scenario a lot and i cant really decide how i want this to go . . .

i think a year or so after they get married (stella is like 30ish) they start to really do their research and find the best fertility clinic in the city. its been almost 20 years since kendall and rava struggled to get pregnant, but still, he's not feeling optimistic.

stella gets a clean bill of health from the doctor, but ken isn't so lucky. just as he suspected, he was the problem. again.

was it the drugs? he was clean now, but he used so much...could he have ruined his chances forever?

stella assures him that it'll be okay, but she never went through what he had to 20 years ago.

they decide on a couple of treatments. they're both taking shots every day and pills at night and its exhausting. most of the meds go to kendall, but stella has to take some too, just in case.

they begin with intrauterine insemination, which is pretty simple and painless, but stella gets her period two weeks later. its hard on both of them, but especially kendall because he knows it's him, not her.

next they try ivf, which is a lot more complicated and expensive (not that money is an issue). now they both have to do injections and stella goes in for her egg retrieval.

the egg retrieval goes better than expected and they're left with 10. ken's sample has some relatively viable sperm so they pull the trigger and try to make some embryos.

the waiting is by-far the worst part, because deep down kendall knows there's no way those embryos are going to get made with his shitty sperm. he's right, unfortunately, and they're back to square one with zero embryos and ten now-frozen eggs.

kendall suggests a donor, like they did with iverson. stella's heartbroken, but they start to look into other options.

because they have the best doctors, however, they get into a trial for a new drug that increases sperm count and viability. stella is thrilled and insists kendall try it, but it's another injection and he's not super happy about it. nothing has ever worked for him, why now?

it's nice to have a break from more intense treatments, so they agree and kendall marks his torso up with injection pricks again.

three months later, ken and stella are enjoying some time off from surgery and tiny, microscopic cells that control their lives. kendall's in new york for the week, working on some financials for their production company (i imagine them making something rival to waystar and completely taking over the media scene), and stella is holding it down in los angeles, or at least trying to.

it's flu season and she's been to so many fancy parties in the last few weeks, stella is sick as a dog. she's a little worried, but the nausea, vomiting and headaches are typical for the flu, right?

she also chalks her late period up to stress. but it's been at least a few weeks...

the day before kendall is supposed to come home, stella drives herself to the hospital after she can't stop throwing up.

"when did the symptoms start?" the doctor asks.

"a week ago, i think, but ive been feeling kind of off for a while."

"and there's no chance you're pregnant? when was your last period?"

stella's heart skips a beat.

"um, i'm not sure. we're trying, uh, but it's been unsuccessful. my period is really irregular and i've been stressed so--" she trails off. "we've been trying for a couple of years."

"and are you taking medication?"

"i did, but it's not really..." she thinks for a bit. "it's not a uterus issue, it's my husband."

"and what is he taking?"

she tells the doctor about the new medication kendall is taking. "it's only been three months, so we're still hopeful. or at least i am."

"i've heard some great things about that new drug. it's really changing people's lives." the doctor smiles, turning away from stella and writing something down. "i'm going to order some tests, but i think you're fine."

------------------

kendall, obviously, sprints to his jet when stella tells him she's sick. she insists she's fine, but wants him to come home as soon as he can, which stresses him out to no avail.

he bursts through the door four hours later, finding stella reading a magazine on the couch.

"stell!" he says, running towards her.

"hey baby." she hugs him, bringing him down to the couch with her. stella presses her lips to his, but kendall is confused.

"aren't you sick?" he pulls away.

her face breaks into a huge smile. "about that..." stella gets up from the couch and walks to the kitchen.

kendall looks at her quizzically, as she comes back with a piece of paper in her hands.

"i have something to show you." she says, holding the paper close to her.

"okay..." kendall smiles at her, utterly confused.

stella carefully sits next to him on the couch. "here."

kendall recognizes the picture immediately. he used to frame them when rava was pregnant with iverson.

"what is this?" he holds up the ultrasound. it's too good to be true, right? tears prick his eyes.

stella is crying already, and takes his hand. "that's inside of me."

he looks down at the black and white photo again. a fuzzy, bean-looking object sits, next to another, smaller object. he's speechless for the first time in his life.

"what is that?" he whispers, pointing to the smaller object on the page.

stella looks at him, and he really can't read her for once.

"this surprise comes with another surprise." she laughs.

kendall's crying, but he takes another look. "is that..."

"yeah."

"two?" he smiles wide.

"i'm pregnant." she finally says, putting her hands on his cheeks. "baby, we're having twins."

they both burst out into crying giggles, hugging. kendall kisses her all over, stopping at her stomach. it's still pretty flat, but he knows her body so well he swears he can see a tiny bump growing.

THIS WAS SO FUN AND LOVELY TO WRITE I LOVE THEM AND I HOPE U DO TOO

[chronotopes]

about me meme spotted on the dash board what a great excuse to use up too much time answering questions

What's the origin of your blog title?

my favorite poem, "the idea of order at key west" by wallace stevens

OTP(s) + ship names:

help. not really in the stage of my life to have multiple otps, vriska/terezi homestuck + "vrisrezi" (or 'scourge sisters' if you're old school but i'm decidedly not)

Favorite color:

green and burgundy, though not together

Favorite game:

i so don't play video games, i find them fun when i do play them but i do not have the time. ive been known to engage in a Star Dew Valley in the past, which i am still fond of, even though my habit of ignoring the farm to go to the mines all the time maybe indicates that i should Play Another Game. the video game i have the most affection for rn is elden ring tbh which i do nooooot have the time or skill or dedication to play myself but i really liked watching jenny do it. maybe one day.

Song stuck in your head:

i'm listening to posing for cars by japanese breakfast rn so nothing is really stuck in my head

Weirdest habit/trait?:

i feel like my bad habits (picking at my cuticles, not refilling the water filter) are not necessarily weird and i can't think of anything else

Hobbies:

writing (though that might be more of a 'lifestyle' than a hobby), art when i feel like it, piano again lately (YAY). one day fencing will be on this list again but i'm still broke so it's still a no go lol

If you work, what's your profession?:

I write immigration law petitions (and mainly request for further evidence responses these days, which are little customized little letters where you yell at us immigration services for not reading the original petition) for stem researchers

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?:

creative writing or literature professor at a small teaching college. sigh. oooor writing center director but that one's more complicated. i think i would also be good at working in publishing but i feel i would hate it so there is that.

i don't mind my job right now though, i just wish it had the kind of structure that allowed me to like list people as references.

Something you're good at:

writing (with room for improvement), cooking (both from recipes and on the fly), packing, summoning the energy to do important stuff (like packing, or a long drive), gift-giving, navigating train stations and airports, befriending my friends' gen x moms

Something you're bad at:

navigating things that aren't train stations or airports, being proactive about completing objectively easy work tasks fast, writing-related research, deciding what to eat for breakfast, emotional self-regulation (lol), inviting people i like to hang out, starting new hobbies, refraining from posting through it

Some( )thing(s) you love:

watching my girlfriend and friends' improv practices, the moment when writing goes from One Sentence At A Time to 'trying and failing to keep up with what your brain knows comes next', cold winter days in dc when downtown is empty of everyone but people who live in the area, the river in my hometown, green perfumes

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff:

late 19th-early 20th century american tomboy literature :] also, adaptations as a whole

Something you hate:

there's plenty of serious things i could say but my first thought was 'how fast bathroom floors get gross'

Something you collect:

perfume samples lol not in the sense that i think of them as 'a collection' i just. happen to have a bunch

Something you forget:

periods of my life where nothing explicitly horrible is happening but i'm still too busy or sad to write in my diary

What's your love language?:

"I don't believe in love languages because they're Christian propaganda about how men don't have to love their wives." SO TRUE SEREN!!!!! that said um i do all of the love languages and like all of the love languages because they are all important to a good relationship. however 'quality time' is the one that i most profoundly need from people to not go insane, while that one and 'gift giving' is probably one of the ones that comes most naturally for me to offer to others.

Favorite movie/show?:

little women (2019) and star trek deep space nine.

Favorite food:

they tend to fall into one of two categories: Stewed Or Slow-Cooked Cozy Thing With A Great Depth Of Flavor (brisket, most beef braises, french onion soup) or Bright Acidic Summery Thing (most forms of tomato salad, any and all mango- or peach-based savory dishes, etc). man idk i like a lot of foods.

Favorite animals:

kity.......

What were you like as a child?:

ages 1–5 who tf remembers. ages 5–11 - quiet, shy, bookish, artistic, Sensitive Soul Whos Been Stomped On By The World (learned english by immersion in a very poorly classroom-managed kindergarden class a month after moving countries). ages 11–13 – LOL SO RANDOM warrior cats enjoyer writing one million novels at any given moment, insufferable know-it-all, seriousgirl who wants to be a funnyman so bad. as you might guess the last category is the one i feel the fondest of.

Favorite subject in school:

In middle school, consistently literature and science (we had separate english and literature classes). from sophomore year of high school onward, i knew i was Going To Be An English Major but that made me a lot pickier about teachers, and i hated both my ap lit and ap lang teachers intensely. so in sophomore year it was english, in junior year it was us history, and in senior year, it was..... good lord, it was probably calculus lol

Least favorite subject in school:

P.E. in middle school easily; in high school, health and wellness followed by algebra ii followed by ap lang followed by ap us government

What's your best character trait?:

Good lord I don't know. I think I'm a good listener and a fairly thoughtful and self-aware person, which makes me good at advice. I am also a very proactive and dedicated person when it comes to acting in collaboration with someone or on someone's behalf. So I was really good about setting up housing and utilities and logistics when Jenny and I had functionally a three-week window for moving across the state. On the other hand last year I waited until April 12th to file my own taxes so ymmv.

What's your worst character trait?:

I still have kind of terrible emotional self-regulation, and it gets worse the closer with someone I get and the better they treat me, so not to be a dramatic ya protagonist boy but the nicer you are to me the greater your chance of one day seeing me be truly stupid and evil about something.

If you could change any detail about your day, what would it be?:

I dropped an egg on the floor this morning which I would rather not have done.

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

Virginia Woolf.

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

Homestuck: Read Vinbre the Novel, obviously. Or CHARGING THE VOID. Or And the handmaid shall take the hindmost. Or my most underrated non-Aivide fic, the truth must dazzle gradually.

Deep Space Nine: Read Scenes from a Disaster Zone, and then read it again.

[niskoo]

Memories kept in the pink hoodie

pairing: Ex! Heeseung x reader

genre: angst, fluff in the end ig, breakup! AU

warnings: swearing, uhhh they like break down together

word count: 2.2k words OMG

a/n: another one of my requests!! thank you all for the ideas its really helping!! mmm this one was very interesting to write because i usually write crack/fluff, aaannndd ive literally never done anything ive written IURHWIU thank you for the great idea anon <33 THIS HELPED SO MUCH OMG USUALLY MY ANGST SUCKS BUT IM PRETTY PROUD OF THIS AAAA ALSO IM SORRY IF THIS WASNT REALLY WHAT YOU WANTED IDK THERE ALWAYS HAS TO BE FLUFF IN MY IMAGINES IG 😓😭

feel free to request and help get rid of my writers block!!

a bit based off of 'try again' by jaehyun and d.ear

You should've known the consequences of dating an idol, you should've been careful. Of course they wouldn't let you be together, he's in one of the rising groups, heck, he was in one of the biggest companies.

It wasn't necessarily the company's fault you were so heartbroken, it's both your faults. You couldn't help but blame each other for how careless you were. You know better than to make things worse, and yet you did.

The evening you go back to his dorm after being confronted by the company, you two started a huge argument of who's fault it was. Either it was his fault for not taking caution during work, or your fault for always checking up on him. All loving actions in the past became reasons for why you should break up, thus cracking your relationship further.

When you went home that night, with your backpack full of your things, you did nothing. You didn't cry, you didn't rage, you simply thought that this was the end, you felt guilty that it had to end like this, instead of just working it out and breaking it off peacefully.

Your heart was left cracked and hurt for sure, but this time, you blame yourself. You shouldn't have met him, you shouldn't have got to know him, it's all your fault. And for the first time that night, you cry.

Your heart clenched at every thought of having to leave Heeseung, more tears falling at the fact that he's not gonna be a part of your life anymore. He's gone, and it's all your fault.

It's when you unpack your things when you realize you still have a bunch of things left at his place, you realize you never want to go back and face him.

You leave your stuff there for the next 2 days, your heart still unready to confront and be reminded of the fact that Heeseung is gone. Unfortunately, he has other plans.

Your phone lights up, and the last name you want to see is lighting the phone up.

'Hey... you left some of your stuff.'

You instantly turn your phone off, breaths picking up as you quickly look away from it and finish your lunch. You can feel the anxiety filling your body as you notice it light up once again, and it swarms in your chest even more when your mother winces at the next text.

You put down your spoon, quickly glancing at the text.

'If you want, you can come by and pick them up? I'll pack them for you...'

Your heart clenches yet once again, you know it's true, literally half your stuff is still there and you have to pick them up. You unlock your phone, quickly sending an 'okay' before completely shutting your phone down. You wouldn't stand a second more looking at his contact.

You decide to go at 11, because that's when the other members are at the company training. You don't know if Heeseung's gonna be there to give you your things, a part of you hopes he is, another hopes he's not there. But then again, who else would open the door for you?

You stand outside the familiar door nervously, picking on your nails and the lint on the hem of your cardigan. Just as you were about to knock, the door swung open, and instead of your ex boyfriend standing there it's the youngest of the group, his eyes wide and puffy lips parted.

As usual, he woke up late. You can't help but chuckle as he picks his shoes up and scurries down the stairs, bidding him a friendly goodbye.

You almost forget about Heeseung, but as you hear shuffling from inside, it all comes back.

You two share awkward glances, the tension slowly building itself back up. Instead of the heated, rage filled tension, this time the tension is guilty, and without each other knowing, yearning.

“T-this way,” Heeseung mutters tightly, eyes glued to the ground as he shuffled quickly to the living room. You follow along just a few seconds later, still processing the fact that this is the end. He could be gone out of your life after this, it’s your last chance to speak.

Your eyes slowly travel up when you stop, the beating of your heart quickening with the slight burning in your eyes. Lo and behold, there your things laid, ready for you to bring back home. You can’t help but notice how it’s packed completely how Heeseung would pack, neat and with care. It’s not too stuffed, it’s in the perfect place.

Biting at the dead skin of your lip, you trudge towards the duffle bag—his duffle bag—and kneel down to grab the handle. The moment you pick it up, you notice how the bag isn’t fully zipped, and a certain pink sleeve peaks out from the tiny space.

All too familiar, the pink sleeve was. It was the one he took from Daniel in I-land. He knew you loved it, for you loved the kid like your little brother. But, he can’t. It’s his, it’s his favorite, he can’t just give it to his ex.

You instantly place the bag down, the tears starting to well up in frustration and sadness. You zip open the bag and take the pink hoodie out, before shoving it into Heeseung’s chest, “Take it, Heeseung, Please don’t give it to me.”

It takes him a few moments, before Heeseung is shaking his head and handing it back to you. “No, it’s practically yours anyway. And you really like it right? It’s just a-“

“Don’t tell me it’s just a hoodie!”

You both are shocked at your sudden burst, frozen in your spot. Your breathing is heavy, like a weight is holding it down and slowing your breathing. There are tears keeping your cheek moist, warm, they stream down continuously, the sensation as if there was fire dripping from your eyes and burning your skin.

Heeseung’s just on the verge of crying himself, the grip on the pink hoodie deathly, he feels the material ripping against his skin. How did it come to this? When did it even happen? It all feels surreal, to think what you two had could fall apart.

All the happy moments in your relationship fading to memories, the hoodie representing the fact itself is true. None of you wanted to take it, afraid it would remind you of the other.

Deep down, you wanted to keep it, keep the memories it held, keep the tears that once soaked it when you vented all your stress to him, keep the scent of Heeseung that lingered on the fabric. You were just too afraid of being reminded that along with the happy memories, came the sad memories of the night you fought and broke it off.

Your grip on the poor hoodie eases, as you slide to the floor helplessly with tears messing your face up. You desperately wanted to hold the pink piece of clothing and keep it forever, and another part of you cursed at you for being too vulnerable.

Your hand quickly wipes away the tears on your cheeks and chin harshly, almost hitting yourself for being so sensitive. Before you could do the action again, a softer grasp is stopping your hand, Heeseung’s other hand reaching up to brush the tears away dearly, blowing your hair away from your face.

Before you could even bring yourself to stop, you’re already reacting to his touch, cowering into his hold and placing your hand over his on your cheek, almost intertwining them together.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper into his palm, your other hand reaching up to grasp at his t-shirt. You’re sorry for so many reasons, for not being careful, for all the things you said in the argument, for making a sudden commotion just because of a stupid hoodie. “I’m so sorry...”

“Shh, it’s alright, it’s alright.” Heeseung grabs you into his infamous embrace you would hate to leave, stroking your back with patterns just the way he knew you loved, just the way it would calm you down. “We’ll be alright.”

More tears fall between your eyelashes, dripping and soaking into Heeseung’s shoulder as he himself sniffles quietly into your hair. None of you want to leave each other behind, it’s the painful truth that you both can’t have, the truth you’ve always feared.

A sudden feeling of relief fills you up inside, his words reassure you in a way, we’ll be alright, you’ll be okay, it just had to leave his lips for you to believe it. You crawl closer to Heeseung, squeezing yourself in his bear hug, “We’ll be okay, we can make it right,”

A hoarse and hearty laugh leaves Heeseung, it shakes right by your ear as you press it against his chest, and he nods, “Yeah,”

He gently pulls your head back right in front of his, wiping the last of your tears and tucking the stray hairs back to the back of your ear, “Let’s just talk,” his whisper tickles your nose, causing you to lightly giggle at the feeling, his lips pressing softly against the pink tinted skin, “Make everything better?”

You nod, finally grasping at the pink hoodie and holding it tight to your chest as Heeseung laughs and bonks his forehead right on yours.

For the next few hours, you talk, make up, talk some more, maybe even a small cuddle, but that’s a secret. You make ramen for when the other members come back from practice, you feel happy to see the members thank you and eat with enthusiasm, you feel glad this is how your last moments together last.

Now you have the (practically ripped) pink hoodie in your arms as you bid the boys goodbye, slightly tearing up at the sight of them sadly waving, but you keep it in and continue your way back home, where you would tell your mom how you ended it on good terms.

And that night, you slip on the pink hoodie before you sleep, and you feel a piece of paper poking at your arm. You’re surprised to see a crumpled envelope poking out, your name written messily in blue ink.

You pull the envelope out quickly, opening it out with something bubbling in the pit of your stomach as you notice the handwriting as Heeseung’s.

‘My dear Y/n,

Hello there! I don’t know if i got the guts to make it right with you or if i pussied out and watched you as you drove away with regrets, but that’s what this letter is for. hopefully you didn’t throw this letter away hehe

i just wanted to thank you. for everything. your love, your care, your trust, Your happiness, thank you for everything you’ve given me. im sorry we had to end our journey, but know that you’ll be in my mind everyday. when we practice, I’ll remember your encouraging smile, when we win, I'll remember the fact that it’s you who gave me the courage to start this whole career.

i love you y/n. we’ll both probably find our other person in the future, but you’ll forever be in my heart as my first love, my first heartbreak, my best memory. thank you for helping me through my hardest times, thank you for helping the other boys through their worst times, especially jungwon, he’ll miss you the most.

i guess this is goodbye, y/n. not forever, of course, but for some time. thank you for everything, i hope you enjoyed the times we had together as much as i did.

with all the love in my heart,

Lee Heeseung :)’

You wipe at your tears for the nth time that day, folding the paper back into the envelope. “Fuck you Heeseung, you’ve ruined my makeup again!” You curse under your breath as you slip the letter into a certain box at the corner of your bedside table, patting your cheeks one last time.

You truly cherish the memories you had with Heeseung. You hope he does too.

[missmorosis]

Jealous

anonymous asked:

I’m BEGGING for a hc where zuko and sokka like the reader and get jealous of one another. Plot can be anything! :)))

anonymous asked:

oomgomg Hii u replied to me earlier 🥺👉🏽👈🏽 LOVE THAT YOU LOVE SOKKA!!! I love zuko too but sokka needs more appreciation imo.

Would u ever write an zuko and sokka x reader or oc where they both like the same person? Because I find myself conflicted between who I like more because they’re great for totally different reasons! Idkk but anyways looking forward to reading more of ur work!! And happy early valentines dayyyy 💕💕💕💕💕

please this prompt makes my true beauty heart go 📈📈📈

ALSO THE TWO OF YOU BASICALLY HAD THE SAME REQUEST LSAKDJS

enjoyyy <33 THIS MAKES NO SENSE IM SORRY

Pairings: Sokka x Reader x Zuko

Warnings: fainting and sickness (sighh yes yes i wrote another sickfic IM OBSESSED) & it may be the worst thing ive ever written-

Summary: a sick y/n is caught up in a love triangle... which boy is better?

Word count: 1.4k :)

The doorbell rang, and Y/N rushed to answer it. She opened the door to reveal a smiling Sokka. He was your best friend, so he normally showed up unannounced once in a while.

"Hey, Y/N!" he said.

"Hi, Sokka! What brings you here?"

"Knowing you, you probably haven't had dinner yet?" She nodded with a laugh. "Wanna get something to eat?"

It was past dinnertime, and she still wasn't hungry... In fact, the thought of food made her nauseous. Y/N nodded anyways, and Sokka smiled, getting his car keys out of his pocket.

Driving past the streets, the two blasted music out of the car's speakers, and Sokka sang along to all of the pop songs on the radio. Y/N laughed at the silly expression Sokka had on his face, even though the music was way too loud; it was honestly giving her a headache, but it was okay. She looked out the window to see Zuko, another close friend, heading out of the Jasmine Dragon. He must've just finished work...

"Oh, it's Zuko!" she chirped, giving him a wave. Sokka said nothing, his singing quieting down to silence, but he pulled over anyways to say hi. He parked his car, and the two hopped out.

“Y/N!” Zuko ran over with a huge grin on his face, waving his hand as a greeting. “Nice to see you again! Oh... hi Sokka.” Zuko’s cheerful smile slowly morphed into one of distaste when he noticed that she had been with Sokka.

“Hey, Zuko,” Sokka acknowledged. Y/N turned to see that Sokka’s face also fell when his eyes met Zuko’s. Sokka slung an unnecessary protective arm over her shoulders, and Y/N cleared her throat to clear up the growing tension. Shaking Sokka’s arm off, she opened her mouth to speak.

"Is it cold out here or is it just me?" Y/N blurted, causing Zuko and Sokka to look at each other worriedly. Sokka pulled off his jacket to throw it onto her. He zipped it up, and met her eyes.

"It's not cold at all... you feeling okay?" Y/N nodded slowly, signaling that she was okay, so Zuko and Sokka dropped the subject. She could have sworn it was chilly out.

"Anyways," Sokka continued, heading into his car, "wanna go grab dinner together or something?” The other two nodded, also following Sokka into the car. Y/N hopped into the passenger seat, and Zuko was stuck in the back seats. She could tell he wasn’t happy with her sitting next to Sokka, but she ignored it. They were just being plain childish, and it was giving her a headache.

“Oh, Y/N,” Sokka started. “I went to-”

"Sokka, go left," Zuko interuppted. Sokka sighed and turned the wheel, following through with Zuko’s command. 

As the car turned, it pushed Y/N to the side of the car, forcing her to lean on the car door. Deciding not to get up, she nuzzled closer to the car window, her warm breath fogging it up. She blinked, trying to stop the growing sleepiness clouding her head. 

Y/N heard Sokka ramble on about his day in the background, and her eyes closed for a second... just a second. She was just so... exhausted...

"Hey... Y/N? Are you asleep?" Sokka's voice asked softly. He poked her side, making her slightly stir awake. She tried to lift her heavy eyelids. Wow, she felt so sluggish.

"What, is Sokka boring?" Zuko laughed, as Sokka gasped, offended. "I should have been the one driving next to her."

"Y/NNN- how could you fall asleep in the middle of my story?" Sokka shook Y/N awake with his free arm. "Come on, you can't leave me with Zuko."

"Hmm?" Y/N hummed quietly, letting them know she was awake. Her voice was raspy; she had a sore throat, but the boys seemed to wave it off as a symptom of sleepiness.

"Am I too boring for you?" Sokka asked.

"No, of course no-"

"So you're saying you'd be with Sokka rather than me?" Zuko accused.

"N-no-"

"So you'd rather be with Zuko?"

"What? You guys are arguing for no reason," she mumbled, but the two boys ignored her.

"Of course she'd rather be with me; she's just too nice to say that to your face," Sokka argued, his voice increasing in volume.

"No, then why would she fall asleep while you were talking? You're boring." Zuko's voice was also loud.

"Please stop," Y/N whispered, rubbing her temples, and this gesture didn’t go unnoticed. Sokka and Zuko froze at once, watching her with concern.

"You have a headache? Are you sick?" Sokka asked immediately. Y/N sighed and nodded.

"Is... that why you fell asleep- because you were sick?" Zuko added, and Y/N nodded again weakly, and sighed. Sokka reached out next to him and put his hand on her forehead.

"Y/N, you're burning up..." Sokka gasped.

"Let me see," Zuko mumbled, placing his hand on her forehead. He sighed. "Y/N, you feel really warm."

"I'm so sorry for waking you up- it would have been better for you to stay asleep," Sokka apologized.

"No, no. It's my fault." She shivered, pulling Sokka's jacket tighter. “If I knew I was sick, I shouldn’t have come with you guys.”

"Here, have my jacket, too." Zuko wrapped his jacket over her as well, draping it over her shoulders.

"She doesn't need more than one, Zuko," Sokka scoffed quietly. "Anyways, we can go home if you'd like?"

"Oh, no, don't worry about me! We can go get dinner or something, it's just a headache. It'll go away," she reassured them.

"I don't know..." Zuko said. "Maybe we can get something to eat at your house?" Sokka turned around, heading back towards Y/N's home.

"I agree, you need rest." Sokka looked at her in the mirror. "Sorry to break it to ya, but you don't look so good."

"Okay... if that's alright..." she said, and Sokka smiled.

Everyone arrived at Y/N's house, and Zuko helped you out.

"Shall we?" he asked, gently grabbing your hand.

"C'mon, Y/N," Sokka said, glaring at Zuko. He grabbed your other hand, and pulled you along.

"Y/N," Zuko muttered.

"Zuko, let go of her," Sokka said, warningly.

"Who do you think I am? I don't have to listen to you," Zuko snapped back.

"You guys are driving me insane, can't you both just shut up and get along?" Her voice now matched theirs in volume, and the two stopped arguing, looking apologetic.

Boy, were you lightheaded all of a sudden. She staggered on her feet, and she buried her face in her hands. Not now...

"What's wrong?" Sokka's voice immediately asked.

"Are... are we scaring you? We promise it's not going to get too serious..." Zuko sounded concerned. She could feel both of the boys' arms hovering around her body, trying to protect her, catch her if she fell, or give her reassurance.

"No, no..." she breathed. "I'm.. fine..." With that, she promptly passed out.

Both boys rushed to be the one who caught Y/N. Zuko scooped her up into his arms, and he carried her into her room, leaving Sokka alone.

Zuko gently laid her down onto her bed, pulling the blanket over her. With a swift kiss that he was tempted to do all evening, he got up and headed out the door.

"Well..." he said, glancing at Sokka. The atmosphere was now awkward, and neither boy was going to leave for a while...

Y/N woke up, and judging from her headache and how warm she felt, she wasn't any better. Groaning, she got out of bed, expecting to be alone, but she was wrong.

She opened her eyes to see two boys asleep on the couch. They had stayed...

Medicine was laid out for her on the counter, and she gladly took it.

"Y/N?" Zuko's voice croaked, making her jump.

"Oh, hey... I wasn't expecting you two to stay..." she said, and he rolled his eyes.

"Of course we stayed... you feeling better?" Concern was written all over his face.

"I still feel like trash..." she answered truthfully.

"Maybe I can kiss it better," Sokka said with a small, playful smile, now awake as well, and she laughed.

"Anyways, thank you both..." She gave a quick kiss on both of their foreheads, making both of them blush. "Now, get some rest at home... I'll be fine."

"No way, I'm staying," both said at the same time. Y/N sighed; there was no way of getting rid of them, and she loved them for that.

"Do you need anything?" Sokka asked, getting up to get her some water.

"Nah, I'm alright... we can watch a movie, though?" She flopped onto the couch, in between the two boys. She turned on the classic Meet the Robinsons and laid back.

Both boys rested their heads on her shoulders, and she laughed.

"You two are idiots, you're going to get sick." They shrugged, and she smiled.

LMAOBDJJEEK OKAY WHOO IM TIRED BUT I WANTED TO GET SOMETHING OUT

this is totally unedited too IM SORRY

taglist (send an ask to get added!) @urmomoness @zuko-is-the-sun @busyforkuvira @appa-gaangnam-style @xxspqcebunsxx @akiris @welovediaaxx @ray-ofmoonlight @sokkaandzukosimp @u-4iia @sunnimochix @kaylove12

Zuko taglist: @duh-dobrik

[morallygreyprompts]

You always write requests and I love to read them! They are great and I can't wait to see your post every day. So here is my 'request' write what you like to write/read yourself 😊 Thanks for all the work you put into your blog everyday, you're amazing!

That is so sweet! No one has ever done that before and it’s so nice of you to do that for me! I like completely forgot all creativity and had no idea what to write, but yeah ^^’ I wasn’t in a great mood, so I figured I’d treat myself to a detective prompt with a good villain and a nice helping of whump.

Note, it contains needles (An IV), if that’s a squick for you.

Detective woke up with a start. They didn’t know where they were; the room was dimly lit but warm which made a nice change. They weren’t tied to the chair like they were before they fell asleep, and their pain- by jove, that agonising pain, was dulled slightly. They assumed Supervillain had finally let them heal somewhat, but at the same time, that didn’t make sense...

Detective strained as they sat up and winced deeply. They weren’t tied down, and the door to the bedroom was open. None of this was making sense!

The door opened wider and of all people, Villain came through with a tray. They paused, seeing Detective was awake. “Took your time,” Villain said.

Detective snapped into a state of panic. No, not this, not more pain through another’s hands, not more questions that they didn’t know the answer to. What was even on that tray?!

“K.Keep back! No more, please!” they exclaimed. They tried to get out of bed, but their body wasn’t able to support them and they fell hard onto the floor. They yelped in pain and then let out a long quiet mewl. Everything was spinning and black spots danced in their vision. They arched their back as they hissed in pain. Their whole body felt on fire.

For a moment, Villain just stood watching the scene in front of them. Processing how Detective was slowly able to curl up on themselves, struggling to breathe and clearly terrified. They put the tray down and waited until Detective lost their adrenaline; until they calmed down just enough to listen to reason.

“You don’t need to be afraid of me,” Villain said calmly. “I saved you, remember? Then again, you were quite out of it at the time.”

Detective coughed, which only upset their battered ribs. “N.no...” “No you don’t remember, or no as in you’re going to continue to throw yourself out of bed and damage wounds I’ve spent hours stitching whenever you see me. I’m hoping it’s option A.” Detective could only respond with a whimper.

Villain sighed and came closer. “Let me help you back onto the bed. You look spent up.” “W.why? Why help?” Villain pursed their lips before they heaved Detective up, which was enough to make them groan. “Because you needed help and [Hero] is shit at finding people. I wasn’t leaving you with [Supervillain] when I knew I could get you out.”

Villain eased Detective back into bed, keeping a hand behind their head to slowly lower them down. “If you don’t trust me fine, but like… look after yourself, alright? [Supervillain] really did a number on you. I’m quite surprised you’re alive, to be honest. It took a blood transfusion to keep you going. Luckily for you, we match.”

It took Detective a minute to piece together what Villain had just told them. “You… g.gave me your blood?” “I did. Didn’t want you drying up like a raisin and dying on me. Perhaps that’s enough proof for you to at least start to trust me.”

“W.what happens… when I heal?”

Villain’s smirk wobbled. “I haven’t quite made up my mind. This is a rather complicated affair. Just letting you go might be a catastrophe, so we’ll have to think that through later.”

Villain collected the tray from the table at the other side of the room and Detective tensed,  eying it warily. “You might not like me very much with this next part, but it needs to be done.” Detective was struggling to even keep their eyes open, let along fight, but that didn’t quell their unease.

“You might have noticed you’re in agony. This will fix it, but, well...” Detective eyed the IV line Villain had on the tray, along with a bowl of soup. Detective’s stomach snarled, demanding the meal. Villain smiled softly at hearing it. “Will you let me hook you up the IV if it means you can eat?”

Detective was too hungry to struggle to decide. They huffed out a breath and turned their head to the side, but they turned their arm around so Villain could get to their vein. “Thank you… I’m going to guess you’re not looking forward to this, so just try to hold still, alright? I’ll be as quick as I can.”

Detective couldn’t stop their hands from shaking as they waited until Villain was able to set the IV up, having it attached to the tall bed frame. They flinched badly when Villain’s warm hands touched their arm. “Easy now, I know what I’m doing,” Villain said. They squeezed Detectives hand reassuringly. The scratch of the needle made them whimper, but Villain was quick to start wrapping a bandage around the entry point.

“Good… that’s very good. You’ll feel better soon, promise. Thank you. I’m sorry I couldn’t do it sooner, I just didn’t have one available.”

Detective shuddered with the cold, so Villain pulled up their blanket and put their hand on Detective’s forehead. Detective couldn’t help but lean into the softer touch, something good after all this time. It took Villain aback and they moved their hand, bringing it down to the side of their neck, just under their ear, but it made Detective uneasy and they moved their head away. It was too easy for them to just reach over and strangle them from there. “They really have given you a hard time… I.I’ll give you some medication to help you fight off this fever. But as I promised, your meal. Go slowly, understand?”

Detective sat up slowly, which was easier as the pain relief slowly started to ebb into their body. They tucked into the soup, with a slice of bread to help fill them. It was harder with their hand in a cast, but they managed. It had been so long since they’d tasted good food like this. They wanted to just shove their face into the bowl like a dog and wolf it down, but they knew they needed to go slowly.

Villain sat on the bottom of the bed, resting a hand on Detective’s shin. “I.I’m glad you’re safe, detective, I really am.”

Detective smiled softly. It wasn’t the most… logical of help, but right now, it was more than they ever prayed for when they were a prisoner.

They were safe now.

Like my stuff and want to support what I do? Then maybe consider buying me a Kofi? Ko-fi.com/morallygrey

[shra-vasti]

LEE SEOKMIN

Series : To all the boys

Pairing : Lee Seokmin x reader

Type : non idol au, ex-lovers au

Genre : angst, drama, fluff, romance

Warnings : none

Word count : 2k approx

Synopsis : You decided to write some letters to every boy who was a part of your past as your last message after getting diagnosed with chronical disease.

MAIN MASTERLIST

[Received, 06.10.2020] | one | previous | next

"Have you packed everything?"

You stood up properly when a hand grabbed your luggage from your hand, easily carrying it, you look up to see Seokmin grinning at you wiggling his eyebrows and you smiled nodding at him enthusiastically.

Your school had planned a 2 days 1 night trip to Seoul and you were keeping your luggages at the trunk of the bus you were assigned to.

"That's great, I'm really excited for this trip."

He looked extra handsome because of the glow on his face, he was really excited and so you were. It was your first time going out to a long trip that your parents had agreed to and you were really thankful to all your friends who helped you take their permission.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's get inside the bus."

You put the luggage hurriedly in the trunk and made a run inside the bus, Seokmin following behind shaking his head at your excited state.

You sat not so far from the back with Zeny while Andie and Jane shared a seat just behind you. Seokmin made his way towards you and sat beside Mingyu who was seated on the seat adjacent to yours.

You informed your parents that you safely reached in the venue and were currently on the bus ride with others and leaned on your seat in a more relaxing position.

It had been nearly an year since you had started dating Seokmin and everything was going on really fine. You never had any fights with him although there were many hurdles which came along the journey of you two but you were glad to have him by your side.

You jolt up from your seat, your attention which was previously on Zeny showing something funny on her phone to come face to face with Jun who was looking down at you from where he was sat in front of your seat.

You smacked his forehead and he winced, rubbing the area where you had hit him and pout at you.

"Yah y/n throw your mobile away and interact."

He complained about how you and Zeny were in your own world and weren't enjoying with others since its supposed to be a trip to bond with other student well and develop a good team.

"Okay okay stop complaining I'm all in."

You put your hands up in surrender and he laughed at you, ruffling your hair and pinching your cheeks cooing how cute you look when you were annoyed.

You swat his hands away, your eyes unconsciously trailing towards Seokmin who was seated on your adjacent seat with pouty lips and narrowed eyes.

Your smile faded being completely aware that his jealousy might have been kicking in. He didn't like you hanging out with Jun ever since he shamelessly declared his love for you even after knowing that you were dating Seokmin.

Everyone had warned you that Jun was a bad news for your relationship but ever since you had started dating Seokmin, Jun had always accompanied you and hung out with you since you shared all of the classes together so both of you were pretty close at this point.

Jun's feelings for you were the first hurdle yours and Seokmin's relationship came across, both of you had taken a break from your relationship to give each other spaces and time to figure out what to do.

You eventually got back with him and kept your distance with Jun but you still hung out with him since he was really chill about his feelings and never really made you feel like you were leading him on, you made it very clear to him that you're loyal to seokmin and wouldn't entertain any ill behaviour.

You even asked Seokmin if it was okay for you to do that and if he wouldn't have agreed you would have left hanging out with Jun, it wasn't like you ever hung out alone with him so that wasn't a problem.

"Are you okay?"

You asked him as you looked at him concernly to which he shook his head and relaxed turning his whole body sideways so he could have a better look at you.

"I'm fine, you are paying attention to everybody but me."

"But I was talking with you from like past 2 hours?"

"It isn't enough." he whined making you close your eyes momentarily to avoid saying anything meaner to him.

"Why are you behaving so clingy towards y/n, let them enjoy Seokmin, the trip is supposed to be them bonding with everyone and not your honeymoon."

Seokmin glared at Jun who just shrug in turn and grabbed your water bottle from your lap taking a sip.

You got into the horrow show room inside the lotte world, feeling relieve once you settled in your given seats along with Jane, Andie and Zeny. You were feeling a bit dizzy due to constant travel.

The show started and you sat crossed leg on your seat, your body running cold.

"I'm feeling a bit weak."

You confessed to Andie who was sitting right beside you, she gave you a concerned looked before asking Jane for a bottle of water and making you drink some of it.

The show ended but you couldn't shake of the dizziness so you got out of the room with the girls help and call out for your incharge teacher who was with other students walking ahead.

"Mrs Jang, I'm feeling a bit dizzy do you happen to have any medication for it since mine is inside the bus?"

Mrs Jang looked at you worried, hand going to your forehead to feel your body temperature but before she could do anything else your eyes rolled back and your body went limp but you didn't fall.

The last thing you remember was Mrs Jang informing everyone to continue enjoying the rides and Seokmin giving you a concerned look with teachers pushing him away from where you were and Jun holding you in his arms as he begged you to keep your eyes open.

You opened your eyes after what felt like eternity as you came face to face with Jun and Jane looking at you.

"You're finally awake."

Jane sighed in relief as she clasped her hands together thanking God that you woke up. Jun's hand made its way towards the back of your neck and he helped you sit up properly.

"Still dizzy? The doctor here gave you an IV drop."

"I'm perfectly fine just a little bit weak but I can handle it now, it'll get better."

You smiled thanking him for staying by your side instead.

"I asked Mrs Jang to volunteer to be with you since she had responsibilities to look after all of the students and Jane here was scared to ride so she too stayed for you."

You nodded at the information feeling guilty that it was because of you he had to abandon his chance of enjoying. Jun must have seen your worried face as he tapped your shoulder with his as he whispered.

"Hey don't feel sorry, I would always choose to hang out with you more than anything."

You just pushed him away scrunching your nose at his playful banter. The rest of the day was spent with Jun as Jane got distracted by the plushies at the stores but she did gave Jun an earful before making him promise to never leave your side.

You were clicking pictures with Jun when you heard Seokmin's voice from the distance with him running where you were.

"Breathe."

You told him as soon as he stopped in front of you panting. Jane told you how he wanted to stop but since Jun and her were already by your side the teachers told him to just go with others not wanting everyone to huddle up with you not enjoying the trip.

For Seokmin to stay either of them had to leave you and Jun wasn't ready to leave your side and Jane concluded it would be a disaster to leave you alone with Jun and Seokmin.

"Are you feeling better? Do you need any help? Want me to take you to nearby bench where you can just enjoy the scenery in peace?"

"If you were that worried might as well have stayed by their side instead of going around enjoying different rides with Mingyu, Eunwoo and others."

Seokmin straightened up glaring at Jun knowing all well what really happened and if it wasn't for Jun's stubborn ass he would have been by your side all day.

"Come on guys stop it and Seok its alright I'm fine you don't have to worry just enjoy the rest of the day I'm fine alone too, Jun you too."

The rest of the trip was a blurry haze to you with Seokmin being way too overprotective and possessive of you and Jun trying his all to piss him off.

You were getting tired because unlike before Seokmin wasn't letting you spend any time alone even with your friends and was always by your side which made you irritated.

The first thing you told Seokmin when you decided to accept going out with him was for him to give you your space and he was doing just opposite of it.

You heaved a sigh as you washed your face in the restroom since you were asleep longer due to your health. Whole night Seokmin didn't leave you alone hissing and groaning whenever anyone came towards you so every thing was practically you and Seokmin on one side and rest of the students on others.

He allowed only Jane, Zeny and Andie to be with you and at some point they left too, when you suggested them, feeling awkward being with Seokmin constantly.

You were angry at yourself, at your health and especially at Seokmin for being so sensitive. You got out of the restroom drying your face and locking the room.

"How's the mood?"

You turn around to see Jun leaning against the wall opposite to your room, he pushed himself off it and made his way towards you.

"I'm fine."

"You must be very frustrated since Seokmin was practically glued to you after yesterday's incident cause I know you don't like such behaviour."

"I'm really fine Jun, yes I'm frustrated and I might snap at some point soon but he can't be behaving like that everytime I talk with anyone."

Jun could sense how frustratsd you've become since yesterday and he was actually scared of what was going to unfold for Seokmin once he come back to his senses.

Everybody in the school knew how you prioritized your comfort and peace before anyone else and how you don't flinch in cutting anyone off if they ever do something which is opposite of your comfort.

"Hey just take a deep breath and chill okay?"

Jun's voice was gentle as he motioned you to take deep breathes to avoid getting frustrated, he tucked a strand of your disheveled hair being your ear smiling at you.

"I'll go ahead come down soon."

With that he left you and made his way down the stairs only to bump with Seokmin at the head of the stairs. Jun shrugged before continuing his way as Seokmin made his way towards you.

"Seok?"

You questioned as he didn't stop and continued walking closer to you pinning you onto the wall as he held your hands up against the wall.

Your breath hitched at the close proximity since this was the first time anyone had ever come this close to you and you didn't like the feeling since you knew he was doing all of this just out of jealousy.

"You're never going to leave me right?"

"Don't you trust me?"

"How should I? You never know what goes inside that mind of yours."

It had been a while since you felt so confusingly angry at someone. You had been dating him for nearly a year only for him to say he isn't sure if you will stay by his side or not? It was like he was accusing you of cheating.

"If you aren't sure let's just cut it here then."

You pushed him off already feeling your head throbbing due to frustration and anger all towards a said boy.

He grabbed your hand pulling you back against his chest locking you in his arms so you wouldn't escape while you tried your best to push him off. He leaned down kissing your neck clumsily making you feel even more disappointed and disgusted at him.

Everyone was downstairs eating breakfast and even if anyone were in their room you didn't want to create a scene in the middle of your trip.

He released you when you slapped him across his face, you weren't comfortable with such behavior and he should've respected your privacy before doing anything like that but he let his emotions take the best of him.

He stood there for a good ten seconds holding his cheeks before he came back to his senses. His face full of horror as he looked in your direction, messy hairs and uneven breaths.

"y/n."

"Don't."

"I'm sorry listen to me I shouldn't have done this I'm sorry, yesterday was the exact day Yuna broke up with me and I got really insecure about you and watching you hung out with Jun all day made me more furious, I'm sorry."

His eyes were full of tears as he explained what was the cause of his behaviour.

"Just because she left you doesn't mean you had any right to accuse me like that Seokmin, you could've talked it out with me but you decided to act all clingy and irritating and make my whole trip a disaster but that's not the point, how dare you accuse me like that especially when I'm trying my best to work this relationship out."

You turn around when he didn't say anything and walk back down towards the rest of your friends for your morning breakfast.

You weren't certain where your relationship would go after this but you were certain you couldn't handle his insecurities for the rest of your lives or even for a longer period of time.

You made up your mind, you'll leave him after you graduate from high school, exactly 4 months from today.

[skittles1229]

Old Expectations Die Hard (Dashie x Reader Fanfic)

Chapter One: Weird Circumstances

You know your life is complicated when the friend you always complain to says "you never have a dull moment do you?" I sigh as the weight of the world seems to make it impossible to breath. You see recently things have been rough. I lost my job and my fiance all in the same day, that itself was an unbelievable story. I was so upset and strung out on thoughts of what to do that once i got home early from work i didn't notice the extra car in the driveway. i stepped into my home and my own floors felt as if they'd given way when i saw the guy i thought i'd be spending my life with in bed, with my sister... my sister and i hadn't been on good terms for a while and for a good reason! The drugs she took either made her unreliable and selfish or crazy and murderous. He, of course, pulled the its not what you think, id never hurt you, it was a mistake, and honestly i could write a book out of the excuses i heard in the time of two minutes but maybe another time. Needless to say i left. I never thought about going back and to be honest my sister looked more hurt then i was. I took a job in California a few weeks ago and moved in with my friend (BFF Name). They always seemed to know what to say and honestly i truly believe They  knew me better then i know myself. 

California gave me the biggest culture shock I've ever had. I came from Mississippi, the bible belt and the most rural part of the world. California was sooooo different then what i was use to. The weather is awesome. There's lots of jobs for technical people, at least until you're 45 and then you're considered ancient and you can't possibly know anything when some 23-year old out of Stanford tells you that they know it all. (a little bit of sarcasm there) It's a great place to start a new company, money is available as is talent. The risk of starting a company is lower since you can always find a new job The politics are insane, if you aren't towing the progressive party line you should just STFU. If you even once say that Trump has done something positive, or that Obama did something negative prepare for the wrath. Read the stuff behind the recently filed lawsuit against google for a taste of what it's like. Seriously, don't say a word. The state if structurally bankrupt, although the finances look good because so much stuff is off of the balance sheet. The public pension liability dwarfs the "good" part of the budget, and some day it is coming home to roost. Watch out when it does. The cost of living is absurd, really absurd. I'm not talking just a place to live but gas, electricity, haircuts, milk, pizza, you name it. The traffic is absurd too. (can you tell i like the word absurd) The public transit, although usually on time, is a mess. People are pigs, they throw trash everywhere, the cars are overcrowded almost all the time. 

I've got to say, from how much it sounds like i hate California, i actually don't.  Mainly because its so far away from my original family, leaving really helped me start to grow up and feel like maybe i was getting a hold of my life again. Only problem has been getting to my new job on time. I work as a barista and a waitress at a brunch place a good minute away from the apartment. The money is good, otherwise i wouldn't waste my time with the commute everyday. i keep being late to work because i still haven't adjusted to how terrible traffic is and so my boss was "nice" enough to switch me to the later shifts. The hours are long and boring because my shift starts in the middle of rush hour to the slowest hours at the end of the day meaning you have to find things to keep yourself busy with. the only good thing is, we can wear pretty much anything we want as long as its black. all i wear is dark colors so i didn't have to spend any extra money on a uniform and i didn't have to wear the same thing everyday. Today i decided i wear a v-neck shirt that with an emperor waist (body forming) with black skinny jeans and my regular converse. i decided against driving to work and decided it would be far smarter to catch a bus to the nearest destination. My (hair color) hair was done is a fishtail messy braid, i always liked this style because it made me look like i had a head full of hair when in reality i thought i was going bald. 

My personality was a little odd, you see some days i felt like the beautiful nerd who has no confidence and wants to hide away in a hole. other days i feel like a model from Victoria secrets, of course those are the days i get the most tips. today was honestly a mutual day, where id rather be at home in my bed asleep, or listening to music. The bus finally stopped a block away from my job and i sighed obviously not wanting to go into work. surprisingly there wasn't nearly  as many cars as there usually is around this time but i wasn't complaining. i walk in to see that most of the downstairs was empty but whoever was upstairs definitely had a loud mouth. i walk to the back in order to clock in and i bump into melany ( the girl im shifting with). "wow you actually got here on time! Maybe the boss's mood will cheer up." i huffed a little. "yea, i dont know why i thought id need a car in California, say whats with the low level of customers? its NEVER this slow." she looked at me in disdain, "some guys reserved the entire upstairs and we had to make this huge table out of all our tables up there, glad im not gonna be the one fixing it later." i rolled my eyes, i hated when a huge family came in and they just had to move everything around because little johnny wants the sit next to suzzie and suzzie HAS to sit by her parents bc she likes to throw her food on the floor, all fake names but a real situation ive been in before. "well have they at least been fed so that i only have to clean up after them?" she shook her head while hanging up her apron. "nope, they've only ordered their drinks and they are getting those onto trays now." so today was gonna be like every other day. "guess i better go help them take those upstairs then, have a good rest of your day." i walk away and slip on my apron, grabbed one of the trays of drinks while another waiter grabbed the rest of the drinks. Once i got upstairs, that's when i met him...

Chapter Two: Last Will and Testament

          He was sitting on the far end of the long table of people laughing and joking. everyone seemed to be loud and all had their own inside jokes. This guy, he stuck out. i changed my attention to the task at hand, finishing this shift. i hated when people moved all the tables and seating around. all the waiters and waitresses have to go back behind them and look at the layout of the floor to put them all back exactly as they were before. it was a struggle and because of this nobody actually wanted that job so usually the manager gives it to her least favorite workers and i happened to be one. "who all had coke?" nobody answered me so one of the men bellowed out the same line and somehow was able to get a show of hands. i walked around handing  out drinks, catching the lingering smell of strong liquor. i could tell by the end of tonight they would all be wasted and loud. please, just don't make more of a mess then you have to, i thought to myself. i had one drink left on my tray, "sweet tea?" the guy i saw before at the end of the table waved his hand and i dreaded going over there, i always seem to make a fool of myself when it matters. 

     i make my way slowly down the table with the tray under my arm and the tea in my hand. i lean over to sit his drink on the table.."here's your t-" *CRASH* while joking with one of his friends his elbow crashes into my hand sending the tea flying all over me and the cup crashing to the floor, thank god i wore black. he turned around and looked more horrified then i did. "i'm sorry! i'm so sorry!" his voice was deeper then i imagined it'd be. "no, it my fault i'm sorry ill get you a new one." i turned away to hide my embarrassment and walked away really just trying to get away from the situation. i could tell from the silence behind me that all eyes were on me. i ran to the back where the lockers were for the service. i went to the bathroom and stripped the sticky clothes off throwing them aside. i sat on the toilet  trying to catch my breath, my social anxiety had struck me  hard. a feeling of worthlessness and dread fell over me like a blanket. after the past few months i've had just one day without something terrible happening would mean the world to me. i heard a knock on the door, it was melany, she walked in with a towel from the kitchen. "hey, i heard what happen upstairs are you ok?" i covered my breast trying keep myself as unexposed as possible. "oh yea im fine, im just cold, and sticky, and... covered in tea." melany and i made eye contact and both laughed just to lift the dread in the air. "let me guess, all the guys are getting a kick out of watching me fumble again huh?" i said a little less concerned and more annoyed. she rolled her eyes "they are boys, they get a kick out of picking their own nose. we both slid to the floor beside each other, she hands me the damp towel. i get most of the sticky off as possible, throwing my hair up to make it look less clumped together by the sugar. "i have an extra black t shirt in my locker but i don't know how it will fit you. your breast are at least a size larger then mine." i shrugged my shoulders, "who cares ill make do. thanks for your help melany." she smiled her weird anime girl smile and ran to get the shirt from her locker.

     ill have to admit, she was right about the size thing. it was far to small around the chest area but the rest fit fine. after the incident my boss stuck me down stairs wiping tables and sweeping the floor, i dont mind though because i get to experience the day coming to an end with a beautiful sunset over California. i secretly kept the the window to watch as the sun fell from the sky. the sky seemed to burn and darken while the clouds began to glow with the last bit of sunlight left. the sky filled up with burning Burgundy and faded orange and yellows, the tallest buildings seemed to reach for the skyline as if it were a sunflower moving to the last drip of sunlight. moving here had been hard, and this had become one of the things i looked forwards to. living in the apartment with my friend was nice, buts its not the same as coming home to someone you use to lay with every night. sleeping alone seemed so much colder and emptier then i remembered from childhood. my mother would be so disappointed in the way i turned out, in the places id gone and the decision to spend my life with someone who was most obviously the wrong one. she would have told me to slow down and to take my time, that growing up wasn't everything. she would have said love isn't something you just wake up and have, its something you make. i wasn't anywhere close to where i thought id be by now, and i could see that. it tears at my heart everyday, not being able to see her or any of my family. sometimes it felt as if they'd all died in the fire that night. 

     i suddenly heard a boom of voices making their way down the stairs, i hadn't realized how close to closing time it had become. all of them walk out stumbling and laughing at their own jokes, seems they all got a good bit of drinking in, all except one. The guy i ran into on accident seemed as sober as ever, designated driver i think, he was much taller now. he seemed muscular but in such a fitting way for his body. his teeth sparkle because their so white, his smile complimented him best. his high cheekbones made his chocolate brown eyes his best feature. His skin was glowing with a sweet honey hue and before i could notice that i was staring he turned his head. his eyes met mind before i could think twice and that's when i felt the heat rise to my cheeks. weather it be from embarrassment or silly school girl shyness i didn't know . i turned my face away but it was too late, i turned my face a little just to catch a glimpse of him before he made his way out of the door and that's when i noticed his cheeks had gone from a burnt caramel to a rosy color. i felt my body shiver at the thought that maybe, just maybe he found me as attractive as i found him. i shook the thought from head realizing they had began locking the place down. as i helped close up shop and wash dishes i couldn't help but to let my mine wander to all different kinds of thoughts, funny thing was they always fell back to him and his rosy  cheeks. i couldn't help but smile as i felt my heart race at the thought of him, even though id made a fool of myself today i was glad i hadn't ruined my chances. Even if he'd never get with me or i wouldn't ever see him again, i'd still take it as a compliment that he even looked my way. 

     before long we were all outside laughing and talking about today. The manager locked the doors and said his goodbyes. i turn to walk towards the bus station when i see a man standing aside awkwardly between the restaurant and the parking lot. suddenly my eyes adjusted and once they did, the joyousness butterflies came back and the blush suddenly reappeared on my cheeks..

There are lots more chapter after this if you are interested you can find them here

https://my.w.tt/sosFRmianbb

[kweebtrash]

Hey, not necessarily a sex question. But as someone who loves reading fanfic and appreciates fanfic writers, I still can't bring myself to write it. How did you get into writing fanfic, and was it ever weird for you? Do you have any advice on how to feel less weird about it? Especially smut about real people? (To be fair I can't bring myself to write smut in general idk why)

I started writing naruto and yu yu hakusho fanfiction when i was ten and it was just a regular oc and the character i liked. It wasnt good at all but i thought it was the greatest. When i met my sister (non biological) in middle school we decided to come up with our own "anime story". We would write it in notebooks and pass it to each other during class and get in trouble for it. So i guess that was the first time ive written an "original" story. By the time i was 12 i knew what sex was (mostly) and i knew teenagers did it (my characters were teenagers) so i was like oh if they like each other then they should do it. But because i was 12 i was like THATS ICKY TO WRITE ABOUT (in detail) so i made them get in bed and then skipped ahead and wrote THE NEXT DAY 😂😂😂

Then when i got access to a laptop and internet thats when i round "real" fanfiction online and smut back when it was called "lemon/lime/citrus" whatever the fuck that means. I still remember my first one was about neji hyuga LMAO.

I started reading more fanfiction throughout my teenager years and kept writing for anime, wrote bandfiction, created a bunch of OCs to rp with my partner at the time and i think by the time i actually started having sex that i was like ok this isnt so weird to write about anymore. So when we would rp we would just text each other sex scenes and i guess it became normalized because we were doing it irl so writing about it was just like hey! We sorta know what were doing! Oh i also used to watch a lot of porn as a teen? Idk why. That stopped after like a year or so but i found out shit through that, like bdsm, squirting, how utterly gross blowjobs are, what a hitachi wand was, how much i hate spit, etc. So that actually helped me discover like my beginning kinks. Porn is still terrible tho.

I think the first time i wrote smut was with a wrestling fanfic? And i had been reading a bunch of fics that had smut and with my basic knowledge and slowly finding out what phrases i liked in order to describe things it flowed a little more naturally but it was still hard.

Then i think i didnt really write much until i wrote my pentagon story which i think is terrible but other people like it. I guess with my practicing, experience, and sex education it started becoming easier? You can tell in my pentagon story that i was still getting back into the swing of things bc my sex scenes are atrocious and ridiculous 😅

I never really liked reading series myself bc i didnt want just prose and build up. I wanted smut. I was like THATS WHAT I CAME HERE FOR. So i made it a point to write smut in every single chapter so that way people stayed interested. In doing so it also helped me practice and get better. Then i read A LOT of bad kpop fics and was like....why dont these people know that sex isnt like porn??

There is a lot of copying in kpop fics in the sense that a lot of them are written the same way and we get the usual; some u realistic giant dick, "ministrations, pussy, cunt", kitten every other word, thigh riding, everyone confusing abuse with bdsm, "daddy" popping up left and right without going in depth to what meaning that holds, random weird shit. And i realized WOW I REALLY HATE KPOP FANFICS lol. So when i started writing messy i was like OK FUCK THIS IM GONNA WRITE SEX LIKE HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO GO. Then i starting writing smut where the condom broke, they talked about birth control, having a mental breakdown during sex, sexual assault, accidentally wacking each other while moving around, giggling, talking, explaining what you want. This i think helped me a lot, especially with my mental trauma that was associated with sex. I wanted to make it fun and real while also possibly teaching my readers about sex and maybe influencing other fic writers to not just regurgitate what they read.

As far as advice, im not quite sure if i have any?? Maybe i do lol. Take it with a grain of salt maybe?

With writing i would suggest

Read fics you like and highlight key phrases or actions you think are sexually appealing

Practice writing shorter scenes, you can even do time stamps or drabbles, things like that-people love those on here

Look into things. Honestly i knew what a cock ring was but someone requested i USE it in a fic and i was like shit guess i gotta google how to use a cock ring and while awkwardly watching videos of guys putting these things on i learned about metal ones, cages, silicone, rubber, rings, how long you should keep it on for, etc. So RESEARCH! is key too

If youve never had sex before that also helps if you research. Porn can give you a little bit of knowledge in generic motions or toys to use but by no means is it great as far as realism and sometimes its just plain icky.

So porn can be a basis, research can be a middle layer, reading other fics and seeing what you like and dont like is on top, and writing ur own is like...idk frosting lol.

As far as being weird with real people; since i wrote bandfiction and wrestling fics i was used to writing about real people for a little under ten years or so. Also i have a really active mind at night and i have tons of sex dreams that fit into like a story based setting. Thats where all my ideas for prose, dialogue and smut come from. Not everyone ofc has a brain like that but writing down things here and there might work. Lets say you have a favorite idol moment-like some really slutty dance move during a performance, you could time stamp that for inspiration. Save a lot of gifs and pics of them looking *chefs kiss*, listen to some music (i like alina baraz, sabrina claudio, galant, alex tbh, and jooyong for softer, gentler scenes or if you wanna get freak nastie listen to some dumbass jae park, or pretty ricky, or any sex related song thats not pretty lmao. Like rude boy by rihanna or something with a hard beat).

I think its also good to try and picture yourself in a sexual situation. You dont have to look like you, you could make up however you want to look in the scenario, its fantasy after all. Also think "would i like this?" Like i wont write about some idol spitting in my mouth or slapping me or peeing on me or something because thats not stuff that im into and i would be forcing myself to appease someone else and the writing woukd end up sucking big time. This also doesnt help the lack of good fics bc people are just following the requests they get even if they dont like it. I would write about what i think id feel in the moment. Id probably be nervous or if im pretending i could be a cool badass, i would think about things that i find attractive like his (imma use his bc i do write mostly about boy idols) face in the shadows of the light, how nice or soft his lips look, they way hes conveying emotions and looking at me if we were in love or if we were angry, the hold he has on me, why would it be going slow? Is it sad makeup sex? Is it a first time together? Is it just comforting after a bad day? Why would they be rough? Are they angry? Had a fight? Had a slow burn relationship and its culminated into a big explosion? Did they hate each other but hide their true feelings?

So i would suggest not just thinking about sex but thinking about the moment and all the things that lead up to, happen during, and the aftermath of it.

And of course if you don't understand anything or need more info about sex you can always ask me!

I hope this help and sorry its long😅😅😅😅

[brownskinsugarplum76]

The New Girl, Part 1

I'm going to hijack something else from you today, @m-faithfull. 😁 I saw you post this pic a little while back, and I was itching to write for it. Here you go, a leonine Robert going in for the kill. 😬 Just felt like making him a little more forward this time around.

Thanks to @starchild0985 for the argument idea a while ago, and thanks to @firethatgrewsolow for the sanity check on the emotional stuff. ❤️❤️❤️

Not smut yet, but there are "adult undertones." 😎

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You round the corner with the food cart and hear them before you see them: the blaring radio and the boisterous, British-accented speech. And then there's a fearsome, metallic crash--a large, glass something, likely hurled into trash can.

You park across from the doorway, look into the room, and take a deep breath. It's your first night on the job, your first time serving a bunch of rock stars and their entourage. You've heard the stories and know that anything is possible in the green room: arguments, fist fights, food fights, hasty sex, even musicians too drunk or high to perform. But it's not just anxiety about the possible mood in the room that gives you pause. You are a huge Led Zeppelin fan, and you are as ashamed about your pink polyester work dress as you are excited to meet the young legends. You've daydreamed about meeting Robert, in particular, but certainly never under these circumstances.

You're glad to have had time to pull your copy of Led Zeppelin IV out of your locker while no one was looking and stash it on the bottom shelf of the cart, hidden behind the long, white tablecloth. An autographed vinyl would be a happy memory of the night, even if everything else went crazy.

Bonzo starts talking, and you realize things are not as jovial as you'd hoped.

"All I'm saying, Perce, is less talk between songs!" Bonzo's voice is colored with exasperation. "We both know damn well that you're just scanning the crowd to skim the finest birds off the top for yourself, innit?"

You're not sure if you should make your way into the room or stay out of the fray for a while. Since no one has noticed you yet, you decide to watch what happens next.

"How do you mean, Bonzo?" Robert's voice has all of the charm you'd expect to hear, but you don't know if his soothing tone will be enough to defuse the situation.

"All I'm doing," Robert continues, "is showing love and gratitude to the audience and setting the scene for you lot to release the sturm und drang, as it were."

"Fucking hell, Robert. Admit it, that's not the release you're most worried about! The crowds are bigger than in Birmingham, but you haven't changed your horny bastard ways one bit, matey…"

"It seems the song does indeed remain the same," Jimmy muses with a chuckle.

"I'm just surprised he ain't have a knee trembler onstage yet. G, Pagey, you're really lucky he didn't hump a pillar when you came to check him out back then. That's the sort of bollocks that I don't miss from this one." He frowns and takes a huge sip of his beer.

It seems this story is new to Jimmy and G, the imposing man you understand to be the manager. Both men exchange glances and shake their heads.

"Fuck it all!" Robert uncrosses his arms and picks up a cigarette package and lighter from the table. "Don't believe me, then." He turns his back on his critics and lights a cigarette.

You get a glimpse of his pout and his elegant fingers, marveling at how cute he looks when he's upset. Somehow this vision has neutralized any red flags raised by Bonzo's stories. You don't know why you can excuse Robert for things that would make you cold to anyone else. You are a little wary, but you know any objections you have left could be swept away with something as light as his sinful whisper in your ear, the brush of his lips against your neck, and the feathery touch of his fingers on your bud.

You are in danger of slipping deep into fantasy and decide to enter the room now to save yourself. Part of you wants to get your work over with, get your autographs, stargaze at the band and leave, but part of you wants to offer whatever comfort you can to the grumpy Robert before your eyes--just about anything he'd ask for.

Everyone else has moved on in a few different conversations. This ends up being a lucky occurrence for Robert, who is still sulking alone and notices you first.

He drops the hand with the cigarette by his side while he familiarizes himself with you. Then he lets loose with a dazzling smile.

G, the rest of the band, and the others in the room focus on you a beat later, while Robert quickly stubs out his cigarette in an ashtray. "And food saves the day. Your timing is impeccable, darlin'. Allow me to be your knight in denim and help you with that cart." He sidles up to you and rests one hand on your shoulder and the other on top of your hand. He winks at you, and you step aside so he can move the cart.

You drink in the sparkly, mostly open button-down that is hanging off of his broad shoulders, thankful that it ends just above the bulge in his jeans that won't be denied, so you can sneak a peek.

He is every bit as flirtatious as you've gleaned from the radio interviews. You get the impression that he doesn't mind the uniform you're wearing, that he's looking way past it in his mind, that he'd still flirt with you if you were wearing a potato sack. It is both a relief and something that leaves your stomach jittery.

"Our wonderful caterer…" he stares for a long time at the general region of your name tag, licks his lips, and relays your name with a wicked grin, "has brought the real food. Orange juice for Jimmy? And sandwiches and crisps for the rest of us. No need to gorge on three-day-old bananas anymore… Although there's one aged almost 25 years that's highly recommended, if you're into that sort of thing…" Robert murmurs the last part for your ears only.

You blush and are stunned by his boldness, but you get your bearings quickly, realizing things will be as out of control as you anticipated. You can't deny that you would love to spend some time alone with Robert, and you're ready to see what other bold moves he has in store.

You steady yourself to throw some of your own boldness his way. "Well, they are good for you--delicious and incredibly filling… And I do like them ripe, personally, so…" You reply just as softly and gaze into his eyes.

Inside of the stare, the two of you are zapped by a mutual, high-voltage flash of interest. Your heart races, and your body throbs.

"Prime example, this is!" Bonzo interjects from the couch. "Percy Plant plucking another flower for himself!"

"Not now, Bonzo," Robert mutters, still looking into your eyes.

You blink rapidly, realizing all eyes are on you. "Sorry… It's my first night here… I-- I've got to set these things out," you stammer to Robert. You want him, but to have things so very obviously play out in front of so many people… A curtain of shame weighs heavy on the lust that has engulfed your body.

Before you can pick up the tray of sandwiches, Robert steps in. "Allow me, love." He notices your conflicting emotions and removes all of the food from the cart for you. You're glad for his help because you feel lightheaded. The last thing you need to do is drop a tray of food on your first night and draw the ire of the rambunctious group.

"What's this, then?" Robert has peeked under the tablecloth and has found your record. "Fancy some autographs from us heathens?" He holds up the album for everyone to see.

"One of my favorites. I must commend your good taste." Jimmy's tip of his glass to you and his friendly words lighten your tension. Your thank-you to him is for his compliment as much as it is for the lifeline to normalcy that he has thrown.

Robert places a hand on your shoulder. "You know what? I'll let the rest of the lads sign first. You look like you could use some help getting this cart back where it belongs, yeah?"

You get the sense that Robert genuinely wants to blot out your embarrassment, but you know that he has other, wolfish desires alongside his altruism. You're okay with that, and you don't question why.

"That would be great." A weak smile grows stronger on your face as you think of how exciting a stolen moment with Robert will be.

"Yes, allow me to drive this for you then?" He begins to push the cart to the door.

"Thirty minutes until showtime, Robert," G calls out, knowing he won't return right away.

Robert doesn't respond to G but does motion for you to join him in the hall. You tell him which way to turn. You're back to bursting with excitement again as you leave the room in the distance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of my stories are here, or search for the hashtag #brownskinsugarplumlibrary.

[zoeygreensimblr]

Stay Beautiful (episode 15)

"Can I just have a tiny clue about the surprise" I beg Angus, Wednesday night after the gym, sitting in his office of blandness.

"How are your Essay's coming, there will be no surprise if you haven't finished them" He asks me, I swear he's worse than Don and Mr Landgaarb put together

"I've finished my Simlish one" I explain, hoping that will win him over and he will give me a clue

"And History? Zoey, we had a deal remember?"  He reminds me

"I'll start it Sunday, it will be done by this time next week." I promise him

"And you have to leave time to do a practice test or two, I want you to be well prepared when you take your final exams" He harps on

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, practice tests, got it. Clue please?" I think I'd sell my soul at this point just to know what the surprise is.

"I'll give you two clues" He tells me and I get so excited I jump up from my seat and run up to him for a hug, "Wow, I haven't even told you the clues yet and you're all over me."

"Are you complaining?" I ask him joking

"Never" He says, kissing the top of my head, "Ok, clue 1, You will need swim wear because the climate is warm there will be a spa", I smile at him, I wore him down

"Is that one clue or three?" I ask, still confused about where we could be going

"That was one clue but I threw in some detail to tease you" He laughs, "Now clue two, we will be flying there".

"Ive never flown anywhere before" I tell him, getting more excited

"You're too cute baby" He laughs, "What do you want to do tonight anyway?" He asks me and I just stare at him, suggestively, he just laughs and asks "What else do you want to do tonight Zoey? We could go for dinner or see a movie?"

"Don't you have to work early tomorrow?" I ask

"I have Thursdays off" He informs me, how did I not know this? Maybe it's never come up before because I'm  usually at school every Thursday.

"I'd like to go out for dinner" I tell him, "But nowhere fancy, just somewhere casual coz I only packed casual clothes" I add

"So burgers and fries is what she desires tonight?" He asks, laughing, "You're determined to make me fat" He says, shaking his head

"I'd still love you if you're fat Angus" I promise, he grabs my hand and places it under his shirt so I can feel his washboard abs

"Say goodbye Zoey" He knows me too well

"Fine, salad it is" I laugh with him.

Angus held my hand as we walked from his office to the desk at the front. Annabelle had returned to work today but still looked unwell. We stop to farewell her on our way out and I remember I had knitted her a scarf, I pull it out of my bag and drape it around her neck.

"Oh Zoey, it's beautiful, thank you" She says, giving me a hug

"It's nothing Annabelle, I was thinking about you all last week and thought it would keep you warm at work" I explain, "If that's ok with the boss of course? I know it's not uniform but I didn't like the thought of Annabelle getting more sick overtime the door opens and lets those cold, windy gushes in" I probably should have cleared it with Angus first

"It's fine Zoey, It does look beautiful too. I'm more concerned about when you found the time in your schedule to knit a scarf?" He frets and I squeeze his hand

"It really didn't take that long" I assure him, "Knitting is how I destress and writing that essay stressed me out a lot"

"I'm sorry Zoey, I didn't mean to make you feel bad about it, you destress how ever you need to, I remember it being a stressful period" He pulls me in close to him, I know he means well, he just doesn't want me to fail.

"You remember year 12 Angus?" Annabelle laughs at him

"I remember fucking it up and having my arse handed to me by Landgaarb and then again by Imogen" He says seriously, "I don't want that for Zoey"

"Zoey is nothing like you were Gus" Annabelle tries to rationalise with him and I hug him tightly

"I know she's not, I just worry, you both know that" He resolves

It's interesting seeing Angus and Annabelle talk about the past that I was never part of and for me it's so hard to imagine Angus doing anything that would warrant getting expelled in his final year, the Angus I know is always in control and structured.

On the walk home, when it's just us I feel that it's the best time to ask him more about why he was expelled, I know it's a sensitive subject and i'm hoping he trusts me enough to open up.

"How close where you to completing before Mr Landgaarb kicked you out" I ask in a small voice. He stops walking and turns to looks at me, it's dark but I can still see his facial features in the streetlights, like he's tormented by the memories.

"It was about this time, we had just started term 3, I had spent all my holidays working on 3 assignments I had and Steph was so pissed off because I hadn't spent any time with her over Winter break. Steph was always angry at me about something so that was nothing new. I was in the top 2 of my year too but I wasn't a good kid, I'd get into fights and mouth off" He explains and it breaks my heart to hear that he was so close to finishing and it was taken away.

"Was it because you got into a fight?" I ask him, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"I need a haircut, I should probably do that before we go away" He says, changing the subject and I decide to let it go.

"I love you Angus, you're perfect to me" I give him a confidence boost

"Starving is what I am baby, I'm tempted to get street food although I've heard bad things about the Pufferfish, that if it's not cooked right you can die" he grabs my hand and walks us to where the food stalls are, "You wanted casual" he reminds me.

We order hamburgers from one of the stalls and wait for our food, I snuggle into Angus to keep warm.

"I'm not going to tell you why I was kicked out, you have this image of who you think I am and I don't want to destroy that image. I love you Zoey but I want you to understand that this is the one thing I will never tell you. I'm not proud of what happened and if I could change it I would." He has that pained look on his face again.

"I understand, I won't ask again, it's in the past" I reassure him

We eat our burgers in front of the fire, the crackling flames create the perfect romantic aura.

"Did you like the burger?" Angus enquires

"It was so juicy, I loved it, have you had street food from there before?" I ask, knowing if he did it wouldn't be often given his aversion to carbs.

"Never, you're just a bad influence Amelia, making me fall off the wagon" He laughs

"I have a way for you to work it off" I suggest

"Where?" He asks

"Where what?" I reply, confused

"Where do you suggest we work it off, keeping in mind you can't pick any location we've done it in before, those are the new rules" He challenges me, "That rules out here in the lounge room, my bedroom and the laundry, oh and Immie's room coz thats just a world of creepy"

"We didn't really have...sex, in the laundry though" I remind him.

"You came on the washing machine Zoey, I'm counting it" He gives me that cheeky smile. Think Zoey, you can be creative

"The kitchen?" I decide, based on nothing more than that it's close to the lounge room where we are sitting and anywhere downstairs will be too cold.

"I want you to go into the kitchen, take your clothes off and bend over the island bench and wait for me" He orders me and I obey

I don't hear him walk up behind me but I feel him run his hand up my inner thigh and slip his fingers inside me

"Thats my good girl, always so wet" He praises me, moving his fingers to my clit and my breathing starts to quicken, "Are you ready baby"

"Where are you putting it" I ask, suddenly aware we never discussed trying anal and I'm not ready to be that experimental

"Same place I always go" He assures me and i feel him slide in, he settles in and starts penetrating, I instinctively push back so he can go in deeper, he spanks me hard enough to send the electric volts through my body and I can't help but let out a loud "fuck" which just spurs him on, his hand leaves my ass and slowly makes it way to my left breast, he cups it and squeezes my nipple, it's enough to send me over the edge, I collapse on the bench and feel Angus have his own climax seconds after mine.

"Sorry baby, that was over before it started but the bench was great choice" I feel him-up out of me and I still can't move, that was absolutely satisfying  and I'm spent. I slowly peel myself off the bench. I have no idea where Angus has disappeared to until I hear the bath water running, I make my way downstairs, naked and cold and find him in the bathroom, he wraps a fluffy dressing gown around me and I wait for the bath to fill up so I can put the spa on.

"Fuck that was good Zoey" He says, kissing me deeply on the lips.

"I think that was my favourite so far" I inform him and he laughs

"Theres plenty more to come, maybe even tonight" He tells me, "Just for future reference though, I would always tell you before I go up your arse, no surprise attacks I promise."

He climbs in to the bath and holds out his hand for me to follow him in, we find a corner and stretch-out, me between his legs.

"Have you done that before? Anal?" I ask curiously

"Yes and I wouldn't force it on you. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you Zoey" He nuzzles into my neck

"I don't think it's for me" I tell him

"I'm perfectly ok with that Princess, I'm satisfied with what we are doing now" He reassures me, "Can I make one suggestion though?" He asks and my heart start racing, I'm not doing this right, I should be putting in more effort

"What is it?" I ask, expecting the worst

"I want you to go on the pill, we can use it as a back up method if you want to but I would feel a little bit of relief knowing we're not going to have any accidents." He suggests

"I think thats a good idea, Tess is on the pill, she goes to our doctor in Brindleton Bay but I can't ask her to come with me, she will ask too many questions" I tell him

"Zoey I will go with you" He offers, "Otherwise if you go alone you will antibiotics for the flu all because you can't say the word sex" He jokes and I splash him, he knows me all too well.

"Can we go tomorrow?" I ask

"We can go tonight if you want? There's a late night clinic just up the road, it's designed for people who need to see a doctor but not for anything serious outside of business hours and the doctors there are good too." He explains

"Is that where you go?"I ask him

"Yeah, when I need to, I do get sick sometimes." He tells me, "Do you want to go tonight or wait until tomorrow" He asks me

"Go tonight" I reply, "The doctor isn't going to poke me with anything right?" Ive seen way too many episodes of Grey's Anatomy at this point where people go in for simple health issues and the Doctors end up putting a tube down their throat or sticking a giant needle in them. Angus starts laughing at my completely rational fear.

"They're not going to poke you with anything" he says trying to keep a straight face, "I am, but they won't" He gives me that cheeky smile

The clinic is a small space placed between two giant retail stores. Theres 1 other person waiting when we arrive, we check in at the desk and the receptionist hands me a form to fill out, questions about previous medical history. Our wait is short and a female doctor calls my name and ushers me into a smaller office than the one Angus occupies at the gym but unlike his, this room is way more decorated.

"Hi Zoey, my name is Doctor Evans" She introduces herself, "what can I help you with tonight?"

My nerves kick in, I know what I'm here for but I can't say it, she's going to judge me and give me a lecture about how I should never of lost my virginity, Angus can see I'm struggling and takes me hand

"It's alright Zoey, you're in a safe place here, Dr Evans isn't going to make you feel bad" He comforts me, "Zoey is a highly anxious person, she finds it hard to talk about certain subjects, that's why I came in with her tonight" Angus explains to the doctor and I can see Dr Evans starting to understand what's going on

"Is this your boyfriend Zoey?" she asks me and I nod yes, "And are you sexually active?" she continues

"Yes" I say shyly, preparing myself for the lecture

"Zoey there's nothing to feel ashamed of, a lot girls become sexually active around your age and it's natural. My only concern is that your protected and safe."She reassures me, "Have you been tested?" She enquires and I look at Angus, he promised no needles tonight

"Zoey was a virgin before we started having sex, we use condoms every time too" Angus answers for me, Dr Evans turns her attention from me to Angus

"And when were you last tested for STIs?" she questions him

"After my last sexual encounter, I'm clean" He replies and I sit there thinking that these should have been questions I asked him before jumping into anything, I didn't even consider it. Dr Evans turns her attention back to me.

"Zoey would you like me to prescribe the pill for you?" She asks me in her concerned doctor voice.

"Yes please" I reply, my own voice is soft and shy

"I can do that tonight, I'm going to also prescribe a low dose of anti anxiety medication too" She tells me, "The pill must be taken at or around the same time every day for it to be effective and it can take up to 7 days for it to become effective so please keep using your back up form of contraception. Also I must warn you that antibiotics can make the pill ineffective so be aware of that if you are prescribed antibiotics at any stage" She says as she types and prints out two prescriptions, "Also Zoey, don't ever feel ashamed to talk to a medical professional about being sexually active, we are here to help you, never judge you" She smiles warmly at me

"Thank you Dr Evans" I say. We leave the clinic and find a late night chemist near by, I put my prescriptions in with the pharmacist and we sit and wait, Angus takes my hand and gives it a little squeeze.

"Proud of you Princess" He says

"I really didn't do anything, you did all of the talking, my nerves just took over" I'm ashamed that I couldn't speak up

"Zoey it's all good, I know you have anxiety and thats why I went with you tonight and maybe the medication for anxiety will help keep the nerves away." He comforts me

"I should have ask you that question before we did anything" my mind is going into overthinking mode

"I would of told you if you had anything to worry about, I knew I was clean and yeah, maybe we should of had that conversation, that falls on me more than you not asking, I didn't think about it honestly because I knew you were clean" He reassures me, "You're safe with me Zo, always", I feel it too.

We walk back to the apartment, past the food stalls that are packing up for the night.

"Do you want a cupcake Princess?" He asks me

"You ask me like you don't already know the answer will always be yes" I laugh

He orders 2 red velvet cupcakes and we eat them in front of the fire.

"I feel bad for Joanna" I randomly blurt out

"Why, she earns $165 a day here, I think she's not doing too bad" He laughs

"Yeah but what do you think she thinks now that she has to empty your trash bin after we've, you know?" It's only just dawned on me now that, apart from Dr Evans, Joanna would be the only other person to know Angus and I are sleeping together and I've never even met her.

"Zoey I don't give a shit what she thinks, I'm an adult" He tells me, "You worry too much about what other people think" He states the obvious. I see his point though, it's no ones business what we are doing and it's not shameful either

"I'm going to tell Tess next time I see her" I announce

"Only if you're sure? I can be there with you if you want me to be?" He's asks knowing I may need support

"Thank you, I appreciate it but I think it's best I do this alone, Tess has been my whole world for so long and now she shares it with you, I love you both but I don't want to make her feel like it's now you and me and she's been pushed out. I need sister time." I explain and then a panic sets in, I don't want Angus to feel I''m pushing him out either, "Is that OK?" I ask

"Of course thats OK Zo, you never have to feel like you're choosing Tess over me, she's your sister and your best friend" He says, kissing my head

[smireyac]

new year, same post

so... 2022 huh?

i didn't even write a reflection post last year (well i tried but i never finished writing it) which i'm kinda really sad about because i really like having these snapshots of where i am at in my life every year... and i feel like i'm missing a year! because i am! so while i can't do a whole reflection of 2021, i can do my best and that's the best anyone can do

so 2021 was the start, crawling out of the hellscape that was 2020... in terms of overall quality, 2021 was a major improvement from the previous year. to make things easier, first i'll go thru what i actually accomplished on my list of goals i made at the end of 2020:

☑️ read new books: my goal was 10 and i read 8, three of which were comics/graphic novels and one was a road trip guide book? so technically i read more than before

☑️ watch new shows/movies: i made a letterboxd to keep track of what i watched instead of the notebook idea i had and i watched 48 movies/tv shows !!! wowie that's pretty good i never counted that out b4 :D

☑️ listen to new music: my spotify wrapped had very much different music than previous years so i did the dang thing too ...it uh... got flooded by OM music cuz i had a phase in the summer but other than that its all pretty diverse !

☑️ eat new food: i had kbbq for the first time in 2021 so i think that counts?

☑️ go on a road trip/visit some place ive never been before/go to a club: so i planned a pretty spontaneous trip to LA cuz i saw an ad on Instagram for a city pop night at a club in DTLA... i thought it was a rare thing (turns out it ain't lol) so i got my friends to go and it was really fun and i knocked these 3 things out in one go (tho the road trip one is a little ehh bc we didn't make any stops, we just drove ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) bc i've never been to little tokyo and it was in a club! so check!!

so as far as goals go that's pretty good! other notable highlights of the year include:

⭐ i passed my drivers test (after failing the first time lol) and got a car that i love so dang much!

⭐ tried dating (the first time) and it didn't get far lol (that's on me)

⭐ karaoke night after not seeing people in person for over a year

⭐ played d&d in-person again finally

⭐ HELLA MEGA TOUR!! THAT WAS TIGHT AF 10/10 would recommend

⭐ saw lindsay and kaveh at a book signing event that was pretty cool !! (still have to read the book lol;;)

so yeah ! it was pretty great, all things considered... i think around this time last year covid cases were surging and things were feeling bad again so my perspective of the year was tainted by that cloud but looking back, i think i had a pretty good run...

i had made another, separate doc as a kinda goal list ? but i never finished it either lmao but i did put 3 things on it:

🌠 read more (surprise surprise)

🌠 write something

🌠 join a club at school

i said 2021 would be the year of new and i think i accomplished that

SO 2022 HUH??

thats what this whole thing was supposed to be about lol

lotta stuff happened... started off strong by getting covid (lol), went to big bear for the first time, technically saw snow (on the ground) for the first time, saw remi TWICE in ONE YEAR, tried dating again (still didn't get very far), saw ORI AGAIN FINALLY, hung out with pals A LOT, ate good food, got really (back) into comics this year??, worked full time at the library this summer, got over my stupid crush FINALLY, went to 3 conventions - 1 of which being COMIC CON... anD OH YEAH I GOT PROMOTED!! pretty accomplished i would say

as far as my goals from last year i actually accomplished something!! and hey 2 outta 3 ain't bad ;^)

i reached my reading goal with 13/12 !! granted 5 of them were graphic novels again but i stuck with my book club (kinda;;) and read some stuff!! i started a lot more books than i finished this year but i want to push myself harder next year (this year)!! my want-to-read list on GoodReads is 500+ and that hasn't even been updated recently!! i gotta step my game up man,, i think i decided i want to try to be an editor someday so i gotta go for it!!

did i write something this year??? in fact i fucking did!! i wrote fanfiction even!! something i srsly never thought i would actually accomplish... and i started a first real draft for J+M and got thru most of the first "season" of that!! so that's cool!! i wanna write more!! i found this writing tracker like halfway thru the year and was trying to add to it retroactively but it was hard so i don't know exactly how many words i wrote this year BUT it's more than 40k!! so WOW!! I'll keep better track this year so we can know fr fr

if 2021 was the year trying new things, 2022 seemed to be the year of getting used to the new normal bc surprise!! covid is still around!! but ig it'll be endemic now instead of a pandemic bc we couldn't fucking eradicate it 🙄 whatever...

the last couple months of 2022 kinda painted the whole year a somber color but looking back, i can see that i had a really good time for the most part... i hope 2023 will be nice :^)

SO... GOALS:

🎆 read more!! let's keep the ball rolling! 12 more!! once a month!!! and i'm not gonna add comics unless i've read a real book with words first!!!!

🎆 write more!! no goals let's just see what happens :^) i hope that maybe some fandom interaction will motivate me bc i love attention and praise!!! also my secret writing project 👀

🎆 apply to transfer to university next year!! this was supposed to happen this year but... shit happened yk

🎆 do stuff with friends!! gotta keep it up bb: NYC, hot springs, see snow, MKE??, LA

🎆 make new friends?? perhaps??? 👀 idk!!!

i will end this post with all the movies i'm super fucking pumped to see this year: M3GAN, the mario movie, the D&D movie, the BARBIE movie!!, new transformers movie??, blue beetle movie, SPIDERVERSE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!

it'll be a good year for me for movies ❤️

here's to 2023!! 🥂

[whoseafraidofliloleme]

I like everyone of your smaus but i think my favorite would be unexpected partners...

I generally like stories that are (kind of) slice-of-life but that can easily be boring, but what i like about your stories is that there are quirks that makes them more interesting and easier to read... By that i mean quirks of the characters like how annoyingly blindsided or mean jungwon, jay, and hiyyih were or how much of a simp y/ns siblings and friends are towards her

I also like that in alot of your works are y/ns or ocs that are independent or are actually able to look out for themselves and take care of their friends and that they have something they're good at and actually likeable

Another thing would be that you have a good general sense of what would make a story or synopsis interesting.. like although you have a lot of discontinued (?) smaus id think its because you can generally tell whether there is an actual idea or goal to that story and decide to either change something up to make it more interesting or to drop it and create a new one... And i think its impressive how you can make up a lot of stories

And i also really like how you sometimes add the things we mention or the 'what-if' scenarios we say

The only thing that bothers me would probably be that sometimes the profile pic and the names or the one who's supposed to say it are different... It's just cause it usually pay attention to the profile pic rather than the name and it can sometimes get confusing for me

Of course these are just my opinions, and i know its not much of a constructive criticism rather just me saying what i like abt your works... But i still wanted to share them with you :]

-😾 (i actually forgot whether or not I used 😾 as my anon thingy already or this is the first time I've done it)

Hi 😾,

Honestly I can't remember if this is the first time you've used it or not 😂. This might be the first time you've used it 🤷🏽‍♀️.

Aw thank you for liking all my smaus, that means everything to me honestly.

When I was writing Unexpected Partners, I didn't expect it to blow up the way it did. But I think the idea that you have to love yourself before loving someone else is very universal and it resonated with readers which was great.

YBWM, I really did want to show the character growth, how they went from people who had so much prejudice against each other to friends or in ynwons case lovers.

I just love making different characters simps for yn 😂, that's my favourite thing to do honestly.

I love that you've noticed that, it's something I love doing, independent YN's is important and making sure each yn is different to others. The only similarity is that all my YN's are swifties 😂. I tried with YBWM for a bad girl type yn but I think she ended up being more endearing than anything else 😂.

Yeah when I think abt it, I do have a lot of discontinued smaus 😂, I think i get the ideas then get too excited and start posting about it before I've thought it through. Or Ive got it thought out but I don't think too far into how I want the story to go.

Going into my process here, I get the idea and I write that down, most of the times the idea is linked to a member so that's the summary and pairing sorted, then I figure out the characters, friends groups, then the profiles and all are made.

Generally I have a vague idea of where I want to go with the story and that's kinda why so many stories have been discontinued, because I've gotten to the third or something chapter and I don't know where the story goes from there so it gets discontinued.

I like having more than one story at once cause I like having different ideas to work on. Just focusing on one smau seems boring to me 😂. Like if I'm struggling on the next chapter for one smau, I can jump and go to another story until I get an idea for the one I was struggling on.

Oh I love adding reader ideas, most of the time they are better than what I originally planned or like with Call It What You Want, where yn made what I thought was a offhand comment but everyone was quite shocked that she'd say something like that and so that got me thinking and I addressed it in the next chapter which I hadn't planned to do but it worked out nicely and readers appreciated that I did that.

Adding What If scenarios is my favourite thing to do. I love how just one choice/convo can change the trajectory of a whole story. What If scenarios fascinate me and I'd love to write a whole choose your adventure type smau, I think that would be so much fun. A lot of work on my side but I think it would be worth it.... And now I'm thinking of how a good idea to do a choose your adventure smau 😂😂..

Ah I see and hear what your saying. I hate not taking full responsibility but it's really not my fault, it's the app I use 😂. Memi Message that glitches on me 😭, it confuses me too cause I'm like this isnt the person whose meant to be talking 😂. I don't know how to solve this but worry not, it annoys me immensely and I'm trying to find a way that it happens less or atleast doesn't happen when I take screenshots.

Thank you so much for taking the time to send this ask. I love a long ask so I've had lots of fun answering this. I hope you carry on reading and enjoying my smaus and any fics I write. I would not be adverse to more asks but that's up to you.

I hope you have a amazing day/night wherever you are 🫰🏽🫶🏽.

[transguykeith]

i wanted to ask u a few of the writer asks but i can't decide which one i want to ask you most, could you answer all the asks? lmao if its too muh of a mission i can just decide on a few

It’s not like I’m doing anything else so yeah, why not. I just won’t ones that might not apply. I’ll put some of this under a read more:

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

usually some sort of character study of sorts mixed in with scattered events to lead to an ultimate end goal.

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

im a sucker for a good soulmate au, so maybe one of those eventually

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

i would never write an abo fic, just no

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

um, a LOT, like a ton of them my main one is a college au of sorts centering around Yuuri and Phichit as well as Victor, its title is Made of Stars and its gonna be fun to write

5. Share one of your strengths.

i mean, i guess im okay at character studies, but i dunno, im really not super great

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

pretty much everything, im not great at connectivity or writing in a pretty style. like i just kinda write, im not particularly great at it

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and  explain why you’re proud of it.

This is from chapter 5 of You’re Not Alone:He danced because he skated, and he skated because skating was flying. And somewhere along the way he forgot what had drawn him to it the first place. He supposed that that was what he was searching for some days, that spark that started everything.

That spark that started a fire, a fire that’s flames were the smallest they had ever been. It was almost funny how one small moment could all but extinguish him. A spark started it all, ballet was just kindling, ice skating was logs, and he was a forest ablaze. But it was as if that one moment had sucked the oxygen from the air and the flames died, it suffocated him.

This is a bit flowwier than some of what i write, it’s one of my favorite lines because it encompasses what i have him feeling in that exact moment

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

I think this is one of my favorites, it’s from chapter 17 of You’re Not Alone:

“I’m glad too,” Otabek smiled. “It’s how this doing goes though. You dedicate your soul, mind, and body to the ice and you don’t always get to leave without losing something to it. It’s give and take, we’re all just caught in an intricate dance until the fates bottom us out one way or another.”

“When did you go all serious on me?” Yuri teased. He had gotten used to Otabek’s propensity for the occasional dramatic monologue though, they gave a good look into the head of his friend.

“Think about it Yuri,” Otabek clearly wasn’t done. “Here we are, the pinnacle of humanity, literally trying to carve a place for ourselves in history. We have to fight the fundamentals of the universe to do what we do, work against gravity itself all while having a timer above our heads. Who knows when it will expire and the ice will take it all away. We fight everything to be able to do this: the laws of physics, the passing of time, even our own bodies. That’s what makes you a soldier, we all fight this fight but you’re out there with a makeshift helmet and a sharpened stick while the rest of us have full armor and swords. And who is it that we see winning the battle time and time again, you.”

“Did you really drag me out here to give a dramatic monologue on how impressive I am,” Yuri flushed at the barrage of compliments. “You’re such a dork,” he buried his face in his hands.

I just really like how it turned out.

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

I guess You’re Not Alone just because of how long it is, but it depends. some of it has been very easy to write and some of it ( ahem my current chapter) has been really hard

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write? 

I’ve written a lot of little drabbles and one shots that i havent posted anywhere but the easiest was probably the little request i did yesterday which is either titled “Pretty Darn Cute” or “The second prettiest boy in the world”

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

a little bit of both really

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

if you have an idea, write it down immediately. it doesnt matter if youre currently engaged in something else, write that shit down or you WILL lose it

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

not necessarily advice, but like the idea of only writing it if you think its good

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

can I say Yuri Plisetsky and happiness, because yes

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

I tend to write my chapters in order, but within each chapter i jump around a bit and then connect everything

18. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

I have an outline in my head that i sometimes write down, im usually good about following it

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

my muse is the genderless ghost that haunts me it stares into my cold soul and pokes me until i words

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

I prefer it to be kind of dark and i like to be nice and cozy, though sometimes ill be struck with random inspiration and have to write it no matter where i am

21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Ha, revising?! whats that

25. What do you look for in a beta?I have never had a beta, but if i did have one i would like someone to help me idea bounce and keep my writing from sounding choppy

26. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you? 

I haven’t but i would be willing to if anybody wanted me to. I’m pretty good with general editing skills and idea flow

30. Do you accept prompts?

yes! please send me prompts i love them. I cannot exaggerate how much i appreciate being sent prompts

31. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

i would say im right in the middle about this, it really depends on what im writing though

32. How do you feel about smut?

ive never really tried my hand at it, i havent written anything that calls for it, but my next fic might

33. How do you feel about crack?

i kind of have written some stuff that could be considered borderline crack, but most of it isnt fanfic and i havent shared that

34. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

personally, i probably wouldn’t write it, but if its necessary for a backstory then maybe but certainly not in detail

35. Would you ever kill off a canon character?

oh certainly, just depends on the fic im writing

36. Which is your favorite site to post fic?

ao3

37. Talk about your current wips.

my main wip is Youre Not Alone and that one is getting close to its end, i know where it’s going and how it will end i just have to write my way there, but I’ve had some pretty bad writers block in regards to it lately

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

i got this one really long review gushing about how much my story meant to them and how reading it always made their day feel better and that was just such a nice review and it made me really happy. Another one i really liked was somebody complimenting something i did that a lot of other people complained about so i really appreciated that one

39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

ive gotten a few upset reviews about something i included in You’re Not Alone, but i cant do much about it. i once got a review about four chapters in asking why yuri had a menstrual cycle and this wasnt rude exactly, but how do you read that far without knowing he’s trans in my fic