#can't sleep and I'm just processing things

[yuurivoice]

Man what the fuck do you mean we are getting into another goddamn war in the middle east over nukes our own intelligence can't seem to agree on the existence of? What in the Now That's What I Call 2000's kind of bullshit is this???

There are clear and obvious consequences and concerns here, but something that strikes me is how the timing of this is set to galvanize the angry young men in the States who are poor and unable to find their role in the workforce and will be preyed upon by recruiters to go play soldier when they're better fit to be a goddamn electrician but you don't get a signing bonus for going into a trade like you do when signing up to go get shot at.

They've been fed so much bullshit, and a war will help solidify their half baked beliefs about the world because they'll be looking at it through range finders and scopes.

Muhammad Ali had a particular quote about a certain word no Viet Cong ever called him. That quote made so much goddamn sense to me, I was a kid at the time when I first heard it. But damn. We really are about to send off some kids to war while their kin are liable to get kidnapped by ICE, shit, they'll cook up a "service for citizenship" process and act like it's a fucking gift.

Tired of brown folks getting demonized, displaced, and slaughtered. Tired of watching the ignorant think any of these recent events make them exempt or safe from fascism. Heartbroken to see how cold and hard-hearted the average American can be. It's painful to see propaganda work over time. To see the anti-authoritarian homies from two decades ago succumb to boot licking and cult of personality politics.

Had to come back at 5am to finish writing this because I wrote myself to sleep around midnight trying to make sense of it all. And the thing is, hate doesn't make sense. Somewhere along the way, some insidious thing tipped the scales and people became incurious and fearful instead of inquisitive and hungry to learn.

How are we supposed to win back the minds of people who are so entrenched in their hate that they can cheer for atrocities and injustices? How could any of those who have been wronged set aside their righteous anger and fury long enough to be bothered trying to flip the point of view of someone who could be so cruel? That is too much to ask.

There's no way this is the endgame, right? That humanity becomes so calloused and hateful that we choke ourselves on petty differences and ignorance as our planet dies out while we suffocate in the blaze of it all. Have we failed so often for so long that it'll only be in our last gasps that we realize how foolish we've become?

It feels unhelpful to wonder these things out loud, but on the other hand, maybe it's a comfort for others to see that anyone can be bothered to wonder these things at all at this point.

If we have passed the event horizon and it's just a matter of time, the best we can do is try to support those who need it and love each other. Feed the connections to those who bring you joy and laughter. Embrace loving people, and even if shit gets really, really grim...trust that love endures. It will outlast and overcome hate every time. Even if it's a naive, childish sentiment, that's where I'm putting what little faith I have to spare. When some strange creature seeks to understand what happened to us when we are all long gone, I hope they see that in the ashes they'll find the bones of those who chose to embrace one another as the darkness approached. Let them gaze in wonder at the human capacity to love.

Take care of yourselves. 💖

[herotome]

Hello !

I have no idea if this has been "asked" before, but I've finally found the motivation to make my own vn/dating sim. I was wondering if you had tips or "warnings" to give based on your experience ?

I've mainly been struggling with gluing all of my scene ideas together, even after choosing the ones that felt truly relevant. I've got the main plot points down, but it's pretty hard to find what to put in between. I also have trouble coming up with player choices ideas.

I'd also like to mention that I'm very much looking forward to playing the full game, no matter how long it takes you to make something you'll be proud of. It's pretty rare for me to find a dating sim where all of the RO appeal to me. The MC's real cool too.

The writing, the sprites, everything's absolutely brilliant ! The UI really fits the game and looks real good too (graphic design major here !).

Thanks for reading ! (Hopefully there aren't too many typos, English's not my first language).

I love hearing when people are inspired to make their own games! In fact I got to know @qkayoostudio from an ask just like this. 😁

Honestly, I struggle with the same things. In between important scenes, often I'll need to put some sort of transition... and coming up with that transition can be very challenging when I'm dry on ideas.

Similarly, dialogue choices (which used to be my FAVORITE part of writing) have become more difficult to write, because working on the main plot(+art direction+code+sound cues+etc) drains a lot of my creative energy, so there can be very little left to put towards the small things.

It sounds like you're focused in the right areas though! I guess my advice is... try not to sweat it. You can always put in a placeholder "insert dialogue choice here" and come back later. Some of my most popular choices and lines are added in waaaaay later in the process, if that makes sense.

A lot of my most recent script is peppered with "idk I haven't written this part yet."

Other advice...

For the most part, small indie games that die in development come from two realms of inexperience:

giving up too early

pushing oneself way too hard

Learn about burn out. Try not to do it. Your body will pay the price. If you're pulling all nighters to finish a project faster, consider that the project will be unfinished for even longer if you crash out from sheer exhaustion. Get some sleep and take care of yourself, that's the best way to ensure a project gets finished, period. You can't finish your game if you're unwell or dead.

As long as you're still alive and willing to work on it, the project isn't dead. I remind myself of that a lot.

[syndrossi]

Reversal!twins with their cousins Rhaenyra and Helaena??? 🥹 What a treat! I'm pretty sure Viserys is peeking out a window somewhere all pleased and giddy because those are his daughters! And Daemon's! Getting along so well! The twins really do serve as a nice bridge between the existing hostilities between Rhaenyra and Alicent. Helaena's not spending time with Rhaenyra, she's playing with her favorite cousins, Aemma and Rhaella! Rhaenyra just happens to be there, what a coincidence...

I can't with how adorable and happy Helaena is! Just getting showered with affection and support while Rhaella is silently so relieved that it's only a spiderweb and no spiders this time. But also delighted herself by Helaena's delight over the wonders/beauty of nature (something that Rhaella shares, just not for spiders specifically).

Her haaaaand on Helaena's head, so cute! They just seem like a duo that would understand one another. Rhaella dealt with terrible dreams in her past life, and knows what it's like to "see" strange things that other people don't, albeit in a different way to Helaena's prophetic visions. She would be such a great source of comfort when Helaena's scared and everyone's telling her that she's imagining thing.

Meanwhile, Rhaenyra getting to live her Visenya fantasies through Aemma's swordsmanship lessons! Aemma's little finger pointing at the hilt, all "so this is a sword, they're fairly light and easy to hold despite what men like to tell you" is killing me. 😂 And Rhaenyra's patient expression. She knows the basics, I'm sure, but she's happy to hear Aemma "start from the beginning," as it were. She's lucky though, Aemma's taught many people before!

Aemma has a locket! (I think.) I'm so intrigued about what's inside it.

Rhaenyra's hair is so pretty... *stares*

By the way Rhaella's is braided, I'm guessing they went for a ride with Daemon earlier. (Is that blue of the ribbon I spot for Qelebrys?)

Love all the clothing choices! Aemma's long tunic-dress is very practical and cute! Her and Rhaella's habit of wearing pants halfway traumatizing Daemon (due to his assumptions) gives me life.

Honestly, the fact that they're girls means Crayne probably didn''t make Rhaella sleep in his bedroll. He would have had strict rules about them. (Though hers was doubtless right next to his for easy control.)

Awww, the twins' black and red being inverted!

Helaena being a tiny splash of green is adorable.

Rhaenyra's dress, oh my! Gorgeous. Those gold accents and patterns to make it clear that this is the Princess of Dragonstone, heir to the Iron Throne. And I'm dying for a better glimpse at her hair adornments. I like that her dress is the one most "ladylike" in terms of length. She is a grown woman, and doesn't get away with the things that the twins can as "lesser" princesses of the realm. (That and the girls are constantly growing. And may or may not have their new wardrobe yet, which could mean they're wearing some of Rhaenyra's and/or Alyssa's old dresses! Alyssa could totally have had Aemma's shorter tunic dress, given her own love of dueling/practicing in the yard.)

Helaena's tiny gold shooooooes peeking out. 😭 They're perfect.

You know that Alicent has tried at least half a dozen times to sneak a green dress into Rhaella's wardrobe at least.

I'm imagining the Great Mud War of 116AC with Reversal and it's just as delightful. Though more difficult in sodden dresses.

On the dysmorphia topic, yeah, they'll be needing the Redfort twins to help process it. And even then, imagine the Redfort twins remembering being boys. Commanders and princes who were obeyed and respected. I hope that was a positive influence on their little personalities, one that fostered a sense of confidence and self-worth. Them being girls might even have made Allard Royce a little bit less cold, honestly. The boys were always a threat to his inheritance in a way girls wouldn't be.

And though they are robbed of quite a lot more freedom versus their male Resonant counterparts, Aemma still will be the lady of Runestone, a ruler in her own right. And they are dragonriders! So if the social pressures grow to be too much for a time, they always have an escape. (We'll ignore the inconvenient matter of Volantis and warlocks.)

The daughters of Viserys and the daughters of Daemon in a rare moment of peace.

For @syndrossi 's story "Reversal" look at them four! Helaena is not carrying flowers, she has a bunch of leaves and twigs, and is showing Rhaella a pretty spider net; meanwhile Jon/Aemma/Visenya(?) Is giving Rhaenyra some basic sword handling lessons.

@textbookchoices suggested I draw the twins as girls, and I have opinions:

Is it common for parents to dress their girls with some kind of “over dress” on top of the dress of better quality or was that just a thing in my family? Either way, I’m dressing them as such.

I suspect dresses would be ankle length, even for little girls, however Jon is Daemon’s dearest warrior and she can wear tunic length.

I think Jon/Aemma/Visenya? Would be the kind of girl who uses pants under her dress.

Rhaegar/Rhaella would adhere to fashion standards a little bit more, but I’m sure she’s wearing pants too.

(Insert Daemon worrying that wearing pants is leftover trauma from when they were kidnapped. Several sleepless nights follow for him)

I’m sure the only limit Daemon pushes on their clothing is “just nothing green”

My gosh, they must be experiencing some heavy body dysphoria on top of everything else! (I imagine myself waking one day and being asked to dress and act as a different gender and I find it jarring, the twins are dealing with that plus being younger than before, and having different parents, and being back in the past…)

Plus they have 4, maybe 6 years before their periods start. T_T

And after the menstruation arrives another calamity: suitors (Daemon will never sleep peacefully ever again)

I guess in this 'verse Jon and Rhaegar really, really need to bond with the girls who inhabited their bodies before them or marriage is going to be awckward.

All in all, Reversal is the one verse that makes me fret over the twins more than the others… I mean Jon was already pretty powerless being a bastard from the north, and Rhaegar witnessed the helplessness of Rhaella, but is that enough/equal to experience first hand the almost lack of self agency that is being a princess in the cusp of womanhood? And of all this os without even considering there are countries out there seeking to kidnap the twins and their dragons, and the warlocks with their candles, and the Hightowers plotting… *visible worry*

[marlinspirkhall]

Seeing as we're at the halfway point of the year and some of these situations are (hopefully) no longer ongoing, I can actually talk about them. So, new Marlin Life Lore in no particular order:

- Left a cult (don't worry about it)

- Kissed someone who was enbyphobic (boo)

- Quit my job part 2 electric boogaloo

- Tried manifesting as a joke and think I got cursed instead

- Three month long situationship 🥳

- Five older people were hitting on me, but at least 2 of them were actively evil (3 if we count enbyphobic woman)

- Burned bridges with two long-standing industry connections within 3 weeks of one another

- Gathered a Google Drive worth of evidence on my ex-boss (because we can always nuke the remains of the bridge)

[fisheito]

Thinking bout that specific behaviour where someone eats somethign and starts to make a "this is yucky" face and the mom of the group naturally reaches out ezpecting a spitout

[lieutenantselnia]

I'm currently unsure whether I should be happy or stressed about the fact that there are only like 5 more weeks until the end of the semester - on one hand the summer holidays can't arrive fast enough so I can rest and have free time again but on the other hand there's still so much to finish within that time frame and ugh I'm just tired😵‍💫

At least today (or more like yesterday by the time I post this) I had a fun day, I went to a wildlife park with friends (a trip we've had planned since a couple weeks already), I'm sure I haven't been to the place in like a decade but it was really fun! I didn't think to take a lot of pictures of the animals, but here's a plush trout I got at the souvenir shop🐟

[neverendingford]

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[sysig]

VUXisms (Patreon)

[kkujo]

something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining ����

[cuteniarose]

what if vaatu got midori instead??

Well.. "got" is kinda the wrong word here because honestly, I don't see Vaatu willingly fusing with a human in most circumstances, the exceptions being Adumbration by @katkastrofa – which barely counts since it was less fusing and more him being inside her already by virtue of growing inside Raava – and my Avatar Suiren AU, in which it's done on Vaatu's terms and Suiren doesn't remain fused to him a second longer than she has to, as much as she loves her little emo kite (may or may not be falling under the influence of both Kat and @shadelorde by implying that whatever the fuck Unalaq was doing with Vaatu was coerced and barely consensual since Unalaq was the one who had the most power in that sitiation. Do with that information what you will). And if he were to, I doubt Midori would be his first choice, nor would Midori herself wish to be the Avatar, Dark or otherwise

BUT if we operate under the assumption that it does somehow happen, Vaatu would have access to all of Midori's inner workings and I'm afraid that listening to her anxiety-ridden internal monologue of "I will forever be inferior to my gorgeous, powerful and capable sister. She will always be better than me, more beloved by everyone whose opinion matters, unaware of the inescapable shadow she casts. I'm doomed to remain the pathetic, useless little sister who can't even stand up for herself" will hit way, way too close to home and he'd yeet himself out of her within five minutes

[erodingsinner]

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[skrunksthatwunk]

peak dash tonight but i gtg do like. something productive

[brown-little-robin]

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[whelpimnauthuman]

Ask game. Every number ending in a 7.

Oh boy!

7. What color dominates your closet?

A quick glance in my closet shows a lot of green, but asking my spouse and was told I wear a lot of red. Do with that what you will.

17. What was the last thing you ordered online?

Pretty sure that was a CotL ITA bag? Used all my petsitting money on it 😅

27. Do you have any keychains on your home or car keys? Describe them!

I have. So many! Gjdhdh I'm actually starting a small horde collection! In no particular order I have:

Ed the Hyena in Funko Pop form (given to me by my spouse years ago)

The Red Crown

Non-Edible Gummigoo

A little blue raptor eating bread

A smilodon creature

37. Do you mind if others are in the kitchen when you’re cooking or baking?

I am going to be anxious either way! 🙃

47. Do you like to go on walks?

I do! My POTS, however, not so much!

[itscamile222]

How to Shift: Simplified

This is is what I did the time when I was closer to shifting (I'm currently in a break, since like a week after that attempt), and it's also how many people shift.

It's actually pretty simple. I'm going to explain it in steps to make it even easier to understand, although it's not supposed to be a step by step method.

LAY DOWN AND RELAX: Breath deeply, meditate, count your heartbeats... do whatever it works for you. take a few minutes, till your mind is as calm as possible.

IMAGINE: Start imagining the exact place where you'll wake up. It's not necessary to visualise, I personally don't do it. I just imagine everything in first person as I were there. If you feel like it, try adding more and more details, like the breathing of your roomies, the texture of your clothes, etc. However, this is optional.

THINK AS YOUR DR SELF: What are you doing tomorrow? What's that thing you can't forget to do? Do you have to finish your homework? Think in first person, as you were you other self. Daily basic things. Think what s normal person would think before going to sleep.

ENJOY BEING THERE IN IMAGINATION: Once you've imagined it, you're there. So, go on, enjoy it.

That's basically all. It's not a method. You don't have to do it in order. You don't have to remember the steps. Do it naturally, enjoy the process. Do what you feel like to do.

I'm going to tell you the KEY to this.

FORGET YOU'RE TRYING TO SHIFT. Focus on the 4d (imagination) to the point you don't remember you're not there, but attempting to shift there.

And remember, it's not a step by step method (it's like the fourth time i say it i know), but more of a "do what you feel" method. So do it in the order you like the most. If you rather first start thinking as your DR self, do it. If you rather mix imaginacion and thoughts, you're free to do it. The important thing, is that you feel there, and forget you are (not) there, but you are attempting to shift to that place.

Hope this was clear enough :)

Happy shifting

[writersrkive]

Don't shut up | Spencer Reid

summary: Spencer is used to people who constantly tell him to shut up, but somehow, he feels even more embarrassed and sad when he thinks you want him to stop talking after looking at the tired and confused expression you have when he's trying to help you. The thing is you hate when people do that to Spence and would spend years just listening to his voice.

genre: fluff

pairing: Early seasons!Spencer Reid x bau!reader

warnings: mentions of the team shutting Spencer down. Derek and JJ being a little mean to him when he's spreading information. Spencer being a cutie potato. Mention of a stomachache and its causes (mention of miscarriage as one of the causes, but nothing happens). Reader not being a native english speaker, but just a slight mention.

a/n: Dr. Spencer Reid is a genius.... I am not. I literally had to search for information and copy-paste here in some parts, so if there's misinformation, it's Google's fault, lmao. I wrote this yesterday when I was about to sleep, so I'm sorry if something is wrong with the writing (even though I already edited). English isn't my first language, please be kind <3.

Masterlist Spanish ver. On Wattpad (coming soon)

Spencer and you arrived early that morning. He hated being late for anything. He couldn't afford to be late if he wanted to stick as closely as possible to his assigned schedule, especially because he took public transport. On the other hand, you had no choice but to arrive early when you woke up at four in the morning thanks to a severe stomachache and couldn't go back to sleep.

That's how your conversation started. Your genius workmate was surprised to see you, first hour in the morning, when he walked in the office, even before Hotch arrived.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows. You couldn't deny that the expression was too cute for your own good.

“Yeah… I think so. It's not even the stomach ache that bothers me, it's the fact that even if I was sleepy, I couldn't fall asleep again. You know? That happens to me a lot. Once I open my eyes, I can't go back to sleep. I've also been feeling mildly unwell for a week, but even though the medication is controlling it, it doesn't stop."

At this point, he already set up his desk, leaving his briefcase on his own chair to walk over to you and sit at your desk, next to the chair you were sitting in, to listen to you attentively and answer.

“The brain works with different phases of sleep: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM sleep. The cycle usually restarts every eighty to one hundred minutes, and we typically have four to six cycles each night.”

Hotch came out of the elevator and walked upstairs after both of you waved at him, and he let out a soft “good morning”. Emily arrived a few seconds later. You greeted her too, as she took place on her desk, but that didn't stop your conversation.

“So, it's completely normal that we wake up in the middle of the night because of that process, but if it is frequent, for three months or more, it may be a symptom of insomnia.”

Your view went to the floor, and your head nodded in a semi-unconscious movement, because although you knew that your sleep cycle was ruined by work, you had not come to that conclusion, maybe that was it.

“Now, the stomachache…” He said, taking one pen from your pencil case to concentrate. He usually never took other people's belongings or shared his own stuff because of the germs, but somehow, after a few years of working together, he had come to have a good amount of closeness with you to borrow some stuff from you. Months ago, it hadn't gone unnoticed by Penelope that Spencer had a box full of pens reserved for you, in case you needed one, nor the fact that he denied JJ one of them once, when the blonde girl needed something to write with quickly.

“The causes can be the most common, such as gas, indigestion, a muscle injury, or stress. Although there are also more serious causes: gastrointestinal infections, inflammatory bowel disease, irritable bowel syndrome, ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage..."

“Wow, what are you trying to do? Scare her?” Derek's voice invaded the place and Emily smirked.

“What? No, I'm just saying the possibilities…” Spencer whispered, looking down, a little worried that he might actually scared the person he cared more, besides his mom.

“It's okay.” You answer loud enough so your friends and coworkers would hear. “Thanks, Spence. I already went to the doctor, so I have none of… those.” I gave him a little smile. “But about stress…” The sentence hung in the air, so Spencer looked up and continued speaking automatically.

“Stress can cause stomach pain because the autonomic nervous system of the gastrointestinal tract reacts to the same hormones and neurotransmitters as the brain. This is because the digestive system is connected to the nervous system, and the enteric nervous system, which is located in the digestive system, is able to send and receive impulses and assimilate emotions.” He started to talk faster.

Your focus on the genius boy and his explanation was sincere, but maybe it was the fact that you didn't rest well, plus the fact that he was speaking too fast and not vocalizing all the syllables, that for a moment your brain didn't process what he was saying.

It was weird. At some point you didn't even hear words, just sounds from his mouth. That didn't happen to you for a really long time because you already had experience with the native speakers, even if english wasn't your mother language. The exhausting feeling of not being able to sleep well was definitely to blame.

While your brain was coming to that conclusion, Spencer could only see your furrowed brow, tense jaw, tilted head, and dissociated look.

“You want me to shut up, right?” That whisper was enough for you to come back to reality. His cheeks were red and his eyes looked a little sad, not to mention the way his mouth formed a line like whenever he felt awkward.

“Yes, please!” Derek answered instead, leaning back in his seat and looking up with his arms outstretched as if he'd had to deal with seven unsubs in the five minutes he'd been there, listening from his place to the information Spencer was giving you.

“Little genius boy got excited… again.” JJ said, looking at some documents in front of her, opening her eyes wide in an expression of tiredness and disinterest.

The young profiler stood up from your desk thinking about returning to his chair, a little embarrassed, but you took his pinky with yours —that way you wouldn't make him feel uncomfortable in case he wasn't in the mood for physical touch, something he refused unless it was you. Again, another special treat—. “Wait. It wasn't like that.” Hazel eyes looked at you intently, still with a bit of doubt. “I'm sorry Spencer. Yes, you got excited, but that's not something bad.”

“It isn't?” He questioned.

“No, but you started to speak fast, and the fact that there are some words that I have a hard time processing in English and I couldn't quite catch what you were saying because I didn't sleep enough, well, that distracted me. Would you mind repeating it again, slower?” This time, you were the one with warm cheeks.

“Oh. Are you sure you don't want me to shut up?” The boy was actually intrigued and a little surprised.

“Why would I want that?” The fact that your teammates often shut Spencer up when he tried to share extra information, or information that he had been asked about, was something you had noticed from the moment you started working with the team. You thought that was rude. You understood that sometimes Spencer got excited, gave information that was perhaps better saved for another time since you were investigating a case, or people could be tired and want silence, but the team either silenced him or made fun of him most of the time. Plus, there weren't many other things you liked more than hearing his voice.

The sweet, soothing tone of his words helped you sleep on the jet after a long case, or made you want to hear more about whatever he was talking about. Feeling like he was sharing with you, a mere mortal, some of the vast knowledge he had was nice.

“I'm always happy to hear whatever you need to say, even if it's about something I don't understand. And, right now, you are helping me a lot, so, please, don't shut up.” The crimson color returned to the tall boy's face, this time not because he was uncomfortable. Your kind and somewhat complicit smile made his heart race, like almost every time he was with you. Spencer knew that no matter how tired he got, he would never shut up if you wanted him to keep talking.