#cannot wait to see what my artist comes up w!!!!

[maraeffect]

yallllllll, when i get my neck/chest tattoo next week? i am going to become absolutely INSUFFERABLE about how fucking sick it looks. and how sexy it makes me look. sooo apologies in advance for that; i am just SO EXCITED i could piss myself

[billskeis]

ᡣ𐭩 beach days w the kaulitz twins

the water felt amazing to touch as you dipped your feet in. it’s been a while since you’ve actually been to the beach and had made plans to go with the kaulitz twins.

luckily, the plans made it out the groupchat and with your busy schedule as a solo artist and theirs as tokio hotel, everyone was able to follow through.

swimming by yourself, you moan in satisfaction to how the water cooled you down from the heat of the summer.

“bill! tom! hurry up!” you exclaimed to the twins as they begin to usher themselves towards the shore.

“fuck! it’s cold,” bill complained.

“man up bill, don’t be such a puss,”

“oh shut up tom!”

tom laughed but immediately gasped as the black haired twin splashes water, getting tom somewhat soaked.

“my..my hair..!”

“that’s what you get!!”

“you little shit.. wait, y/n?”

…

“oh shit y/n! i’m so sorry,” bill made his way towards you in the water, a little slow as the water provided a little resistance.

“y/n—FUCK..!”

“TOM—!”

“GERONIMOOOO!!¡!”

both you and bill screamed while bill fell into the water as tom leaped on top of him, the impact of the water and the weight of the two twin’s bodies held you underwater for seconds longer than they were.

tom was the first to raise his head from under the water, seeming to no longer care about his locs being wet.

giggling, he witnessed as his baby brother came up second gasping for air.

“what the fuck is wrong with you!?”

“hey! you started it first,”

“you fu—y’know what—nevermind.. where’s y/n?”

“dunno, weird.. she was just here,”

the twins called for you, voices muffled due to the body of water.

you hid underwater. in a panic. you have no fucking idea as what to do. the twins cannot see you like this.

imagine your childhood friends seeing you in this state. god, how fucking embarrassing.

your bikini top came off, and is nowhere near to be found in the water. it must’ve come undone when tom jumped on the two of you, that little shit.

you cannot hold your breath for any longer, fuck, what do you do?? it’s getting harder and harder to stay underwater. you panic, bubbles escaping as you then begin to gasp in the water.

fuck it.

you choke, but your head rises above from the water and the twins flinch at the splash of water and the uncalled for jumpscare.

“y/n!! are you okay??” bill exclaimed as he ushers himself closer to you in a worry, tom quietly following behind as he also worried.

“d-don’t come any closer,” you squeak as the twins stop in their tracks, “are you hurt?? why were you under the water for so long—oh..”

tom scrunches his face in confusion as he sees the surprised expression on bill’s face. your face heats a bright red as you realize that bill notices whats wrong, clutching your bare chest between your arms even closer.

“what?? what is it??” tom asks, “you’re not hurt right y/n?” you nod your head, slowly turning around to reveal the situation that is completely tom’s fault! how could he!?

he swallows a hard lump in his throat, swimming trunks becoming a bit tight. he questions whether it’s the heat from the sun or the fact that you’re presented topless in front of him.

bill cannot also help but feel a little bashful, as your back is turned to him he holds a hand to his mouth in shock, also hiding how red his face is.

“i—i think it’s time for me to go..”

“wait y/n! stay, the water is still so nice,”

why was he so insistent?

“how can i tom!? i lost my bikini top and it’s nowhere to be found..”

tom clutches the piece of fabric behind his back, he attempts to shove the garment down the trunks of his shorts without you noticing.

bill smirked as he places a hand on your shoulder, you turning to him to look up at how he smiles ear to ear.

“y/n.. do you wanna go back to the hotel?”

you gulp, what’s with this sudden change of atmosphere. bill’s body was way closer than expected you cannot stop but stare at the star tattoo that was peaking through his shorts.

“i, uhm..”

he’s really close, you’re getting all flustered and you don’t want him to catch on to that. he’s one of your best friends for god’s sake! get it together y/n..

as you begin to widen the gap between you and bill, your back hits a rock. there’s rocks this shallow on the shore?? you swore that the spot the three of you went to swim in was pretty open.

a hand grips your waist, you whip your head in shock to meet tom’s gaze, his lids a bit lowered as he bites his lip slightly to hold in a groan.

your backside was pressed onto his crotch, obviously hardened.

“y/n..”

“t-tom!”

in a frenzy, your attempt to escape was feeble as bill closed the once open gap between you two. completely sandwiched in between the twins, you look down to hide how completely shy and pathetic you look.

bill grabs one of your arms, you gasp in trying to hide your chest once more as he places the hand he ripped from you onto his lower groin.

“see what you do, y/n? god—we’ve been giving you so many signs but your little head just didn’t see them hm?”

“what’re you talking about??”

“cut the crap y/n,” tom chimes in from behind, “we want you. we like you. so bad. since the moment we met you,”

“…”

the twins?? like you?? no fucking way, not one but two?? unbelievable. your heart thumps an unexplainable speed as you cannot help but feel giddy and anxious given the current situation.

“i’ll ask again, schatzi, do you wanna go back to the hotel?”

bodies pressed against yours, you’re chest flush against bill’s, your hand no longer guarding the breasts you so desired to hide. with your back against tom’s chest, you feel everything.

did he get harder?

you tilt your head up to look at bill and tom, obviously grinning. they’re expectant. needy. spoiled. you’ve always given them whatever they wanted when asked for but this is just a whole other level.

with a sharp breath you inhale,

“yes.”

“f-fuck..!” you yelp as the constant touching of the twin’s on your cunt has your brain turning into mush.

as the three of you made it back to the hotel room, it started off with kissing. quick and rough, both using their mouths to work on two different areas at once.

bill suckled on the right of your nipples as tom’s tongue danced with yours. knees buckling, you’re now losing the strength to stand up.

“up we go!” tom lifts you up princess style after the two of them unlatched their mouths off you. body littered with hickeys, you’re gonna have to find out a way to cover these while also dealing with the malibu heat.

or not.

as tom lays you gently on the couch, he lays your head onto his lap as he bends down to place a kiss on your forehead, smiling.

bill taps your thigh to catch your attention, looking down at the only piece of clothing that had covered what the two of them really wanted.

“can i take them off?”

“mmhm,”

he slips your bikini bottoms off in no time, throwing them somewhere far away, heck, probably even out of the balcony window as all they wanted to see you in all of your glory 24/7.

“fuck y/n..” bill moans as you instantaneously spread your legs out in front of him, tom’s hands playing with your hair that fell onto his legs.

“i’m so glad you said yes.”

and that’s how you ended up where you are now.

moaning like a bitch in heat as you clutches the cushions of the couch with how tom moved his thumb in circles over your clit while bill had two of his digits fucking into you, purposely curving them to press on your g-spot again and again.

they bullied your cunt to their liking, and they fucking loved it.

loved the way your moans slipped out of your mouth, lips swollen from how hard you bit them to not let the noises slipped. but bill only went harder.

loved the way your tits bounced from the impact of how bill pistons his fingers in and out of your wet pussy.

loved the way your legs would convulse from attention and intricacy to how tom would rub your clit. nice and slow to ensure you felt everything, a grip on his shorts when you panicked at how an orgasm would quickly wash over the other.

“no..no more..! please!”

it was like, what, the fourth or fifth time you came?? after each and every one of them the twins would giggle and continue to wring them out of your body dry.

cooing sweet nothings to you as they promised they would ‘stop after this one’ or ‘just one more baby okay?’

“fuck schatzi.. you’re so wet.. so fucking hot, ” as tom slaps your pussy lightly, fingers hitting your clit just right.

“can’t believe we didn’t do this earlier.. you’re just so perfect y/n..” bill moans as he thrusts his hips against the couch, tom palming himself as he lolls his tongue out to play with his lip piercing.

they’re drunk off of just seeing you in such a state. they’re so happy, so happy that you let them toy with you as if they own you.

“h-hahh.. stop.. please—unnnggghh..!”

your gummy walls are nothing but sensitive, feeling everything as bill thrusts his fingers into you, a constant squelch of your pussy as he fucks you. it didn’t help that tom also wasn’t done with your clit, the hooded bud only ever sending electricity through your body.

and then it came down. either your fifth or sixth orgasm as your cunt spills with squirt, the couch now becoming soaked with your come.

“what a fucking sight.. look at this pussy..” tom kneads at the flesh of your breast with his free hand as he slows the pace of his thumb on your clit.

“mm.. good girl, y/n.. doing s’well for us..” as he leans down to lick a stripe up your torso starting from your belly button, tongue traveling as he reached below your breasts to now bring his head up.

the twins admired you and how you grind your hips into their hands to ride your orgasm out. are they finally done? they slowed down, god please let this be over you thought.

you almost fainted from the pleasure

tom props you up to his on his lap as he pecks your cheeks and shrugs your shoulders playfully as nothing ever happened.

your chest heaves to catch a breath, body soaked in sweat and your own juices. you softly smile, “you okay?” he asks, “y-yeah..”

bill hands you an opened bottle of water from the hotel fridge, you thank him and take a swig of the cooling liquid, “had fun?” he giggles.

“shut up..” you grumbled, the twins did nothing but laugh as they looked at you and then exchanged looks. bill kisses your lips after taking the water bottle into his own hands.

“you’re godsend y/n.. we enjoyed every moment of it,”

as bill sits beside tom, tom brings a blanket to cover the three of you. you nuzzle your body into the two of them, all exhausted from your indecencies.

..

“soooo about liking me..”

“we love you, y/n,” tom blurts out.

“really??”

“like, really,” bill responds.

“well shit.”

“do you not like us back??” tom asks with concern in his voice, bill pouts, a tinge of guilt in their chests as they felt like they’ve forced you into doing something you weren’t comfortable with.

“no shit! you think i was just gonna let you guys finger fuck me till’ i almost pass out if i didn’t like you??”

“oh,” they both say at the same time.

“i love youuuuu,” you say,

“love you too princess,” bill smiles like an idiot.

tom can only smother you in kisses, too shy to speak.

“hey!” bill does the same.

it is now a competition.

a/n : and there you have it, my first kaulitz twins x reader fic ! also im so sorry i havent posted in like almost a week, on top of school i went clubbing for st pattys weekend and my drunk ass fell down a flight of stairs, i fucked up my knees and fingers . pray for a speedy recovery y’all 😭😭

[hotpinkstars]

-> the house won't ever feel the same again

synopsis -> you and alhaitham got into a relationship-damaging fight.

w/c -> 1.3k

warnings -> hurt no comfort, alhaitham is an asshole in this, dehya is your emotional support lol, reader moves to liyue, arguing and insults, reader is an artist

“alhaitham, please stop stressing. you cannot write twenty papers in the span of three hours. come to bed with me, dear.” 

you knew that this would happen. dating the acting grand sage of sumeru would be no easy feat. and now here he was, slumped over his desk, gripping an abnormally large mug of coffee. you telling him to stop was making the grip even harder. you noticed, and took a deep breath in.

“you know, getting angry is not going to get you anywhere. please, take my advice, and do not overwork yourself tonight.”

“can you not?” he snapped. “let me do my work.” 

this took you off guard for a second. he’s never said something like this to you before- even in your wedding vows, he promised he wouldn’t ever insult you, show major aggression to you, or put his hands on you. ever. 

“i’m simply just trying to help, dearest, please take my advice-” you stopped yourself, seeing his expression. he just rolled his eyes at you, bringing himself back into his work. you’ve never seen your husband do that, he’s always at least taken your words into regards. you try once more. “alhaitham, come to bed-” 

“can’t you tell i’m trying to do work? leave me the hell alone!” he slammed his hands on the table, making you jump back a little bit. tears were coming to your eyes, but you tried to control them. 

“what is with the sudden aggression? you have never done this before!” you raised your voice slightly to try and counter his words, trying to make yourself appear bigger than you felt you were. 

“you’re trying to interrupt me as i work. i will not tolerate it. you can wait. stop caring so much, would you?” he sighs, putting his face in his hands, running his hands up and down his head and ruffling his own hair. “leave me alone. how many times do i have to make myself clear? or is it not clear enough? are you just that stupid?” 

that sentence made you freeze. he did not at all look like he was going to take that back. you nodded and started to walk out the door before he grabbed your shoulder. you stopped once again, thinking this was him apologizing, but you turned around to find a very angry man. 

“and by the way, i’d never do that for you. that’s irritating, and your artwork isn’t worth caring for anyways. go.” 

and there was the start of many tears. you ran out in fear and sadness, wondering what ever got into him to lash out like that. you knew he could be extreme and give out major criticism, but he was never this harsh to you. you looked down at the band on your ring finger, spinning it around a few times. the good memories, your honeymoon, your wedding, and the proposal all came flooding through your mind. it made you cry even harder than you already were, if that's even possible. you slid the ring off and threw it on your nightstand of your shared home, and then was sure to make a point of moving it to his. so he could see the damage he’s caused. you packed a tiny bag and left for the night to go to your friend dehyas place. you knew she’d have some good advice for you.

after a short trek to see her, you knocked on her door, soaked from the rain. she welcomed you in with an impressively strong pat on the back, immediately noticing your puffy eyes and noticing the ring wasn’t where it was normally. 

“what happened to that ring that alhaitham married ya with? did divorce knock on your door?” she sighed. “i knew that’d happen, damned man.”

that sentence made you cry again. she immediately corrected her wrongdoings and pulled you into a strong embrace, stroking your hair. 

“alright, tell me what's the matter.”

“he raised his voice at me… he’s never done that before, dehya!!” you cried harder into her arms, and you could hear her sigh.

“that man, oh did he make a mistake. what are you going to do?” she asked, looking down at you without stopping her motions.

“i’m not sure.. i love him… but i don’t think he loves me..” you sniffled, hugging dehya even tighter now. she nodded, looking down at you in sorrow. she wishes on every star there was something she could do to make you feel better. 

“maybe you should try to talk to him. i know that’s probably not gonna do too much, but i guess it’s worth the effort…”

“but i tried that already, dehya! trust me, i tried to talk to him. and then he ever so rudely kicked me out like i was a colleague that was sent from the fortress of meropide in fontaine! worthless!” you groaned, letting your head fall dramatically on dehyas lap. 

“maybe you have to let him approach you first. give it time, it’ll probably happen.”

you thought long and hard about that night. it’s been two days since your argument, over what exactly? just because you didn’t want him to fail at his job? his papers don’t even have a near due date! if even one at all!! you sat against your bed, lightly scratching the ground with your nails. it seems alhaitham took the ring he gave you, and went back to work the next day. he probably isn’t even thinking about what happened, or so you thought.

considering, the night you got back from dehyas, you were welcomed home to him sipping on some tea, watching the television. probably some documentary about the history of the aranara. you said a slight hey, and he just looked at you, immediately making your heart sink. you sighed and walked away to the spare bedroom. the worst part was that he just let you. he didn’t seem like he cared, or willing to take back all of the insults he threw at you that night. it seemed like that night was the only thing you could think about. 

though, he feels super remorseful about the things he did and said that night. he hasn’t been able to properly focus, being logical enough to know that those words are something you’ll likely never bounce back from. you’ve already broken a paintbrush you’ve had, scratching a rip into a painting you spent hours on. he saw that when he came back home that night, gasping slightly. and that’s when the reality hit him. 

he’s currently slouching over his desk, doing something he’d never even fathom doing in a million years- doodling on his papers. he couldn’t focus, he felt he needed to make it up to you. but he’d only ignore you whenever you tried to take dehyas advice and maybe talk through it with him. he doesn’t know why he ignored you, he just thought he couldn’t talk to you properly in the moment. 

little did he know you were packing your suitcases to move into a small apartment you purchased with a fair amount of mora in the middle of liyue harbor. you told dehya about your plan, also letting her know to wait on letting alhaitham know about your plan. you were too hurt by his words, and you knew you could never be able to sleep in the same bed, nevertheless see the man anymore. you knew you were gonna be gone by dark tonight, which is plenty time before he’d get home. once you’ve packed the last of your things, you set off, taking a carriage to the chasm before being escorted by yelan herself to the harbor, tipping her a fair amount of mora for her kindness. you immediately felt more refreshed, in a new place, away from the man you’ve never known would be as toxic as he appeared to be.

[pumpkinsy0]

i need tarry being parents to the siblings hcs PLEASE

tarry as parents w their siblings coming right up anon ☝🏽🤵🏽‍♀️

FIRST OFF darry w curly and angela

•we all already know how darry feels about curly, BUT now that he’s gettin w tim, he HAS to get along w him now🙄

•everytime curly pisses him off he cant even kick him out no more, he just pinches the bridge of his nose, sighs, and goes “ok lets try this again”

•in darrys truck, curlys that kid where no matter if u packed this mf snacks or something to keep him from annoying everyone else around him, he would kick the back of darrys seat while hes trynna drive

•darry and angela dont rlly, have much to say to each other, not even that they hate each other, they just have nothing to rlly bond over, all their convo’s r pretty short and basic like a “so how was ur day 🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏻‍♂️”

•i could see darry helping angela w homework, she could go to tim but she dunno where he is and darrys right there cooking dinner

•everything they do together, its just quiet, like theres rlly not much to say about em, they dont hate each other, maybe they giggle about at how crazy curly can b at times, but other than that, they keep to themselves around each other

NOW MY FAV BIT,,,, tim w soda and pony,,,,

•tim would find pony funny, and pony doesnt even mean to be, he does or says something and tim chuckles and shakes his head while ponys thinking “whats so funny????”

•pony and tim r both artist,,,let them draw together and show each other their drawings,,, i could also see tim liking to read a bit, not as much as pony but a decent enough amount for pony to be like “omg???” they have a small lil book club

•pony gets used to tim but also has a but of “oh my god thats tim shepard” feeling within him still, meanwhile tims calling pony small nicknames like little man or somethin along those lines

•tim and soda r like, the most open to each other if that makes sense, they r pretty buddy buddy but not that close, sodas just an easy person to get along w

•while darry has no clue how to interact w curly amd angela, tims over yuckin it up w soda, watching tv

•they rlly only talk during certain parts of the day bc they r busy guys, in the morning they just share like a good morning or something but come afternoon theyre sharing stories over card games

NOW FOR THEM ALL TOGETHER!!!

•they dont even live together, tim was over at the curtis house for a while and curly and angela came over cause whyyyy have u been over there for the past couple days king, we need u</33

•them sleeping on the couches all together watching tv??? awww yeaaa

•the curtis’ took the shepards fishing once (ONCE, it took a bit of convincing to do) and theres a few pics to remember that

•darry makes them their snacks and tim drives the lil bastards to school (and soda to work)

•u cannot escape haitian shepards, darry learned how to speak french in high school and the shepards know french already so im betting all my money that darry and tim could b having a secret convo in french in darrys room “so the kiddos dont hear” but lil do they know, curly and angela r eavesdropping and pony and soda r right there waiting for them to translate

•tims had to get used to pony just waltzing into darrys room bc he had a nightmare and he can handle that, but what he CANT handle is pony standing at the foot of the bed bc pony has a very specific stare and all he sees is his eyes, its like hes the fucking devil child sometime

•they have to constantly argue on wether or not theyre having haitian food or american food, not only for themselves, but for their gangs as well

•speaking of food, the shepards will never get used to soda adding fucking food dye to the food man

[theshynerdsworld]

THE MUSE part 5

Benedict Bridgerton x female oc

——

Mary walked into the dining room and sat down “where’s max?” She asked “in bed. He was fed early.” Great aunt Elizabeth snapped, with her nose stuck in the air “he is too young for the dining room.”, “he’s six. Me and Johnathon was five we sat at the dining table.” Elizabeth smacked the table and scolded her “do not speak back, child.” Mary looked down and sighed softly, then looked at her brother, who looked at the ceiling. She sensed something was going on “what’s going on?” No one said anything but just simply ate, Mary looked at Johnathon, who looked at her but looked away quickly “what is happening!”, “you are to go to Shropshire, next week with your aunt.” Her grandfather said, Mary just started to laugh “no, im not.” Then Johnathon looked at her “Mary.. I’m sorry..”

“I can not leave!”, “you have not made any attempt to be interested in any suitors.” Grandmother told her “I had one today.. Benedict Bridgerton, he was interesting, we danced at an event, we like the same things. We clicked! I am interested in him..” aunt Elizabeth shook her head “is this Benedict, a lord?” Mary shook her head “no.. he is an artist..” Elizabeth shook her head “you cannot marry him. You need a man who can provide for you!”, “his brother is a lord.” Johnathon said, in defence of his sister “then marry the brother.”, “I’m not interested in the brother.” Mary snapped “I am interested in Benedict. If he shall, propose I shall say yes.” Elizabeth rubbed her forehead “you will do no such thing…” she snapped “you will be coming to Shropshire.”

Then she stopped and looked at them “no. I have a life here! I have b… I have friends.”, “it’s only for a month.” Elizabeth said “no. I have suitors. I have things to do here..” she crossed her arms and pouted “I’m not going to Shropshire.”, “you either marry a man or you go to Shropshire.. now eat.” Elizabeth snapped, Mary stood up and excused herself “I’m not hungry.” She stormed out, to her room and laid on her bed, grabbing her pillow and screamed into it and cried so hard, laying on her side, staring at the window and walked to it, then tried to open it “locked? You’re never locked!” She whispered, then growled, looking for the key, which she found. Unlocked the door, she slowly climbed out, slowly climbing down the trellis. Mary cursed as she jumped down and ripped her dress, running across the lawn and out of the gate.

Mary slowly walked to the Bridgerton house, she stopped outside it and blinked then remember ‘there’s a swing in the back where me and Eloise, my sister sometimes sit and talk… it helps’ Mary sighed and walked around to the back, seeing the swing and looked around “guess I’ll sit until he comes out.. what if he doesn’t come out..” Mary breathed in and looked at a stone on the floor, she picked it up and saw him sat, talking to someone. She threw the pebble and it made a tapping noise, he looked out of the window and Mary waved then motioned him down and mouthed. “Come on.”

——— (sorry if this is confusing, this is sort of Benedict’s pov)

“How goes the wooing of miss Edwina?” Benedict asked Anthony as he took his shoot “well, I’m gonna invite her and her family to Aubrey hall.” He said as he drank his drink as he waited for colin to do his go. Benedict sat drinking his whiskey as his brothers played pool “so this women, you are trying to court. How did you meet?” Colin said as Anthony took forever with his turn “I danced with her, I’ve been pursuing her. It’s going well.” He paused then said “I think.” They nodded “what’s her name?”, “Mary. That’s all I’m saying. Also Anthony what do you know about lord jack rippleton?” He took his shot and stretched “hmm, drunk. Last wife disappeared. Barely has any money. Whores his way through life. Why?”, “she has been pursued by him and wants to marry her.” Colin smirked at him and took his shot “jealous of him, brother?”, “no. I know she will chose me.” Benedict said cockily and looked out of the window, from his seat, due to him hearing a noise. He noticed someone, it was Mary. She waved and motioned him down, Benedict nodded, he announced “I’m gonna for a walk.”

Benedict walked out and saw her “some may say this is stalking.” Mary looked at him, her eyes where glassy “there is talk of sending me back with aunt Elizabeth.” He walked to the swing and sat down “what?” She blinked and a tear ran down her face, as he lights a cigarette and then wiped the tear away “Shropshire..” he looked down “I must a husband..” she whispered, swinging alittle then looked at him “.. before they marry me off to some lord or something…” Benedict sighed and said “my offer is still there.” He took a puff and offered her the cigarette, she shook her head “why do you want to marry me Benedict.” He shrugged “you’re important to me. You’re special, interesting. Easy on the eye.” She smacked his arm light “stop smacking me.” He whined.

“I’ll meet you at the studio tomorrow.” She nodded “I’ll wear the mask..” They didn’t realise the brothers were watching from the window “who is she?” Colin asked and Anthony shrugged as they saw him kiss her forehead then spoke to her. Then they both raised their eyebrows as the couple both kissed. “Who ever she is brother. Won’t be the last time we see her.”

The next day, Benedict looked around, in drawers and cupboards when violet walked into the sitting room and saw “are you well Benedict?” She asked concerned, he didn’t answer her and just walked out “is he ok?” She asked the eldest “I’m not sure..” Benedict walked back in “there you are. Just looking for you, mother. Do you have grandmamas ring?” Violet just blinked confused “grandmamas engagement ring?” Benedict nodded “yes.. i need it.” Violet held his hand and sat him down, when the rest of the family walked in “who are you determined to marry?”, “marry?!” Hyacinth asked “miss Mary Francis. I danced with her at lady Danbury’s dance and I went to see her.”, “you barely know her.” Anthony said and Benedict looked away, and stood up.

Walking to his sketch book and sat down “we’ve known each other nearly a month.” Anthony cursed under his breath “are you trying to bring scandal?” Paused then said “wait.. is that who you spoke to last night?”, “yes.” Benedict said “she is my muse. We’ve been talking and if she doesn’t find a husband, she will be shipped off to Shropshire with her great aunt Elizabeth.” Violet stuttered as he opened the sketch book “only her brother knows. He’s been.. covering for us.” Violet took the book and looked at the sketches of her “this one is beautiful” it was the first sketch, he had done her in private “fun fact, she was actually bored been sat like that.”

“You love her?” Violet asked and Benedict nodded “yes.”, “invite her to Aubrey hall. I want to meet her.”

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Shinkai Tenun no Shou Stellaworth Booklet “Her Long Day” Part 2

sorry this is late... but I've come down with chills, which is unfortunately unsurprising given how that happens when I go from a hot environment to a cool one... and I've just been tired and doing a lot of sleeping early... or passing out? 😂 Honestly, I almost never sleep before 10pm so it's been nice to indulge in being lazy... even if it's due to feeling a bit off.

Anyway, I haven't decided if I want to bother with cramming in two more of these "moments" before next thursday since I need to get to the artist's notes for Deemo... but w/e! Enjoy!

Also, the tl I've referenced isn't entirely consistent with the honorifics so I've put in what I think they are.

Hakuoki Shinkai Tenun no Shou Stellaworth Booklet “Her Long Day” Part 2

Translation by KumoriYami

Sìshí·Yamazaki Moment 《9~11 o'clock》

Everyone ate breakfast, and once all the dishes were washed.

Members went to patrol and train as part of their daily routine——.

And I set up medical tools, including a mill and mortar, in Yamazaki-san's room.

"Then, before Yamazaki-san returns, I'll get started first…"

I pounded the sun-dried flower petals, and opened up the notebook that contained medication prescriptions/recipes.

During my time as a page, I have frequently been assigned miscellaneous tasks...

The duty I was requested by Hijikata-san today was to help Yamazaki-san boil medicine for the team members.

While I was crushing petals, one of the raw materials…

"——I'm sorry, Yukimura-kun. I've kept you waiting."

The owner of the room opened the door and poked his inside as he spoke quietly.

"Yamazaki-san, I started first, is that alright?"

"Aahh, that's fine. I'll also help now too."

Yamazaki-san sat down in front of me, and narrowed his eyes as he looked at the notebook and spoke.

"Well, today… our main focus is to replenish the drugs that have an insufficient supply that are to be used soon."

"Yes. And Ito-san said that he had a sore throat and asked for cough medicine. After, Hijikata-san asked me to make some medicine for stomach pain."

"Ito-san aside, what happened to the Vice-Commander…? Why is he suddenly having stomach pain?"

"Uh, it appears that his stomach has severely been hurting since yesterday…"

"…..It was Okita-kun again. Really, what does that person think the Vice-Commander…"

Yamazaki-san breathed out a sigh, and began to pound the petals.

"Always playing pranks and causing trouble for him, and the Vice-Commander cannot ignore him… He's obviously a division captain, so he should have some respect for the Vice-Commander!"

"No, that's not it, Yamazaki-san. It seems that it wasn't Okita-san's fault this time, but Nomura-kun's."

"…Nomura-kun? What on earth did he do?"

Astonishment was on Yamazaki-san's face, and I trembled with fear as I spoke.

"Um… it seems like he was delivering a late night snack to HIjikata-san, and he accidently fell down in his room and caused half of the letters to get destroyed by fire..."

"....I see, I understand."

Yamazaki-san abruptly stood up, and I hurried added:

"No-Nomura-un didn't have any ill intentions! He just was a bit out of luck…"

"I understand. I merely want to teach him a very, very small lesson, and tell him that he needs to be careful about everything."

Yamzaki-san had a smile on his face, but there there was no smiling in his eyes, he then turned his back to me and spoke.

"……Anyway, at least, for approximately three periods of time*, it's only natural to have him seiza and listen."

"Three moments of time* will be from day until night...!"

T/N: I think this is based on the wadokei, the old Japanese way of telling time... which divided the day into 12 hours... or alternatively, it's based on rokuji, which divided a day into 6 periods of time... and I have no idea how best to word these "periods".

While quickly catching up to Yamazaki-san who was leaving, I prayed in my for Nomura-kun's fate.

Wǔshí · Iba moment 《11~13 o'clock》

Shinsengumi Headquarters · Nishi Hongan-ji Temple

In addition to how the room was used for assemblies, it was also used by members to eat, and because it was lunch time, the large hall was crowded with many members.

"Don't push! If you want get more rice, please line up!"

"Yukimura-senpai, the rice tub is almost empty again!"

"The next pot of rice should be cooked soon, so I'll quickly go and bring it!"

Normally, Souma-kun and I were usually on in charge of the meals for the executives that were close to Kondou-san and Hijikata-san, so we rarely helped meals for the ordinary team members...

But the person in charge today caught a cold, so Souma-kun and I were entrusted by Inoue-san to begin helping him wherever.

"This… this is complete chaos…."

In a moment someone won't have a dish or chopsticks/there won't be enough dishes and chopsticks, someone will want more rice in a moment, someone will spill soup and ask me for a rag…… and so on and so forth.

In the face of one rude voice after another, I felt like I was going to have my hands far too full.

Despite that, since I had agreed to Inoue-san's request, I still had to put in the effort to handle things well, even while feeling overwhelmed.

"——Chizuru, if possible, can I help?"

Iba-san grabbed hold of my hand, and took the rice paddle from my hands.

"Ib-Iba-san? Why are you here....?"

"I happened to have something I had to come here for… but, that can be talked about later. For now, we should handle the matter at first."

After those firm words were spoken, Iba-san clearly greeted the team members.

"Those who want more rice, you don't have to stand up. Please sit where you are and lift your rice bowl, and pass it down in turn."

"How about another serving of taro? Unfortunately, all of the taro has already been eaten so how about another serving of konbu? Konbu (こんぶ) and cheerful (こぶ) are homophones, but they are very" auspicious.

the word "cheerful" is a correct translation, but I think that's wrong... since what I found on what こぶ i means doesn't really make anything seem auspicious?

Iba-san was like a teahouse clerk, taking care of the team members in a clear and orderly manner.

Seeing him like that, I quickly continued to help——

Half an hour later, almost all of team members finished eating.

"It's almost over. Good work/You've worked hard, Chizuru."

In the almost empty hall, I hurriedly bowed my head to express my thanks to Iba-san.

"I'm sorry, I didn't expect to trouble Iba-san with chores…"

"Don't worry about it. I myself wished to help."

Hearing him say that, I relaxed a bit, though still felt apologetic.

Seeing how anxious I looked, Iba-san nodded as if he had suddenly thought of something.

"Since you're so worried about this…. how bout I receive a bit of remuneration/a reward?"

"Remuneration? I don't have a lot of money..."

"Not like that…. Just repay me with food personally cooked by Chizuru."

"……"

For a moment, I wasn't able to react to what he meant, so I blankly stared at him.

"Food that I cook… is that okay?"

"Nnn. To be honest, I came to headquarters today because I wanted to eat food that you cooked."

"…….I understand. In that case, I'm very honoured!"

Seeing Iba-san smile, I started thinking about what to cook for him.

---to be continued---

references used for the stuff about time:

wadokei: https://grapeejapan.com/181323

rokuji: https://wadokei.org/wadokei-developments/edo-divisions-of-day/

[minnophee-writes]

For Science~

A/N: Wrote this for one of my alien OCs 3 years ago, I do plan to write more for my OCs but I know that y'all are here more for the fanfics but wanted to give this a crack. I’ve never written for a male reader before and I hope it wasn’t god awful but I hope to was enjoyable to read. Might write more for my OCs in the future while also writing for my favourite characters. Also not beta-read.

Fandom: Original One-shot

Pairings: Zonnu x Male Reader

Warnings: Pegging, anal sex, anal fingering, alien/human sex, xenophilia, size difference, rough sex, handjob, male! reader

Summary: Reader finds himself in an unfamiliar room when he wakes up. He ventures to find someone for help and stumbles upon an alien life-form, Zonnu. She’s very interested to know how the human male anatomy works when sexually stimulated.

Word Count: 1,401 words

Character: Zonnu owned by @minnophee-draws (me)

Artist: Maplecrepes on ArtFight

You had woken up slightly disorientated, the air was unusually humid than what it should’ve been when you last watched the weather. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, yawning and stretching as you did, you sat up and realized that you were lying on a bunch of blankets and pillows on the floor, not in your bed like you had last night. You know you didn’t fall asleep on the couch because you remembered getting up to take a quick leak, snacking on some chips in bed before falling asleep.

As you came to that conclusion you then realized that your surroundings weren’t that of your room. As you started to stand up you heard humming from another room, the voice was alluring and you went to find where it was coming from.

‘If I can find whoever’s humming then maybe I can find out how I got here. Wherever “here” is’ You thought as you walked down the hallway.

When travelling down the hall further the humming got louder and louder, so you knew you were getting close to the mysterious voice, and it happened to be in the only room down the long hallway – the giant, double mahogany doors open ajar. Upon creaking it open a little more to fit your body through your eyes laid on a figure you did not expect to see ever.

An alien.

“Holy shit, did that thing abduct me?” You whispered as you froze in place, your wide eyes scanned the alien while trying to make sense if you were truthfully seeing it or not.

��I am not a thing; I am a Mundari, or what you would call an 'extra-terrestrial'. I have heard many things about humans, I wanted to study one to squish my curiosity, so I decided to take one – that being you.”

“Oh, um, okay… What kind of things have you heard about us?“

“I heard that only human males have a prostate gland, not both males and females. With my species, both males and females have prostate glands because both need to produce fertility fluids to breed and mark their mate so that other Mundari cannot claim them.” You blinked; this new information was confusing yet interesting but you had so many questions.

When you were about to ask one of your many questions, Zonnu continued, halting you as she went on about her interesting findings of humans.

“I also find the fact that the human anus can stretch up to 7 inches before taking damage was particularly interesting because Mundari anuses can stretch up to 17 inches before taking damage. And human males have very average sized phalluses. Male Mundari have phalluses that are 19 inches long while female phalluses are only 10 inches.” The alien stared at you with 5 orange eyes as they calmly explained their newfound information about the human anatomy.

“W-wait – your females have dicks?” You stammered, completely taken aback that their females have penises.

“Indeed. Mine is exactly 10 inches, but some females have phalluses that are 12 to 14 inches, though that is rare.”

You choked on your breath as you tried to process if you had heard the alien correctly or not. ‘So, the alien is a female…’ You must’ve voiced your thoughts aloud because they responded to you.

“Oh, how rude of me to not introduce myself properly. My name is Zonnu, I am a Mundari and - of course - I am female.” After her introduction, she sat up from where she was lying down on her own pile of blankets and pillows and you finally noticed her breasts.

‘How had I not noticed those before? Jeez, I must be blind.’ You thought as your eyes glanced over her breasts, her muscular arms, curvy hips, and strong legs. For an alien, she was beautiful, and her markings on her body reminded you of a Puffin.

Zonnu laid back, relaxed, and gazed at you with what you could assume was a sensual look if her tone was anything to go by.

“Would you like to join me? I’m sure we could both benefit learning about each other up close~”

‘Yep, definitely sensual vibes.’ You walked over to her, nonetheless.

As you crept closer to Zonnu, a sweet-smelling scent fluttered into your nose, smelling of lavender and peaches, making you feel slightly light-headed. When you stood in front of her, she pulled you down, your legs on either side of her waist – straddling her. Zonnu had begun to purr, the vibrations stimulating your balls and your loose shorts felt tighter than before. You let your head tilt back from the pleasure, grinding slightly on her stomach while you felt the faint sensation of a hand creeping up your thigh and up the leg opening of your shorts.

Zonnu’s fingers finally reach their destination, brushing against your hard cock, and your body twitching for a moment at the feeling it brought. It started to feel really hot and you wanted more of what she was offering so you stripped yourself bare for her, your cock bobbing with every movement you made, and she purred louder at your display of undressing. When you tried rubbing your cock against her slit, she stopped you and pushed you back, one hand encasing the both of yours.

“Spread your legs, male. I want to see you.” Her other hand rubbed your thigh to soothe your nerves.

You then spread your legs, your member throbbing with need and beads of pre-cum dropped onto your stomach. Her eyes traced very part of your genitalia with curiosity and arousal before guiding her hand down your twitching shaft before probing your puckered hole. You groaned with uncertainty, you had never done anything with your ass, never tried anal play or even had a prostate exam to know what it would feel like to have anything inserted into your asshole, but Zonnu’s cooing was calming, making you relax as she used some of your pre-cum as lube, then inserting her thumb into your tight hole.

You gasped from the oddly pleasant sensation, not expecting it to feel as enjoyable as you originally thought. Her thumb grazed something deep within that released a very loud moan from between your lips. She hit it again and again, causing more moans and mewls to escape your mouth. Zonnu let go of your hands before grasping your cock with it, stroking it which enhanced your feeling of delight. She suddenly removed her thumb, leaving you feeling empty, but not for long. You then felt a slightly wet object probing your asshole before slowly sliding in, stretching you pleasurably and hitting that certain spot while also feeling like it was reaching deeper. You glanced down, wanting to see what was inside you, only for your eyes to widen and breath to stutter when you realized it was her tentacle-like cock. It came from her slit, with what you figured housed both a vagina and a penis, and it was slick which made it easy for it to penetrate your ass. Zonnu’s hips rocked roughly, slapping into the back of your thighs, her hand that was stroking your hard member moved faster, making your balls tighten, wanting to spurt all your cum. Zonnu then cried out, her dick inflating slightly with a knot at the base while her cum filled your ass, only some of it managed to leak out. With the feeling of her fluids spilling into you and her hand tightening around your shaft with her fast pace jerking, you groaned, your cum shooting out onto your chest, stomach, and chin.

Your breathing was heavy and your limbs fell limp, you could barely move, only moving your head sluggishly. Zonnu then slipped her penis out of your twitching asshole, cum flowing out, load after load, you were surprised there was so much of it. Zonnu hummed with satisfaction with how much you came as well, it was more than what she was expecting. She scooped a bit from your chest, her face morphing open to reveal her mouth and tongue, licking your cum from her finger and tasting you.

“Mmm, I liked this little experiment, I want to try another.”

Let’s just say, it was a long night of Zonnu seeing how the human male anatomy functions and reacts to different types of sexual stimulus. You couldn’t argue, it was the best time of your life.

A/N: Hope I didn't do too bad for 3 years ago lmao. Please fave and reblog if you liked the story and follow for more <3

[krskrash]

Art in the Digital Wilderness...

Im just gonna be brutally honest with how I feel at the moment. And this may come off really weird & cringey, but it is what it is. maybe you can relate to this in some way, who knows.

maybe you'll just hate on it... because, that does seem to be the current state of content nowadays: hate watch it. hate read it. hate lurk it. hate hate it. we're in a ✨ Hate Era ✨ that aside...yet slightly in mind... trying to grow as an artist in this day and age seems like a ridiculous struggle that I cannot even wrap my head around, daily.

any and all tips for artists to grow, seems to be extremely outdated and honestly just a guessing game. 

I don't think anyone is out here actually cracking the algorithms; I think it just comes down to...

being at the right place, at the right time, with the right people watching or stumbling across your content... and it all adds up together to...

✨ Sheer luck! ✨

Yes, hard work and determination is also involved. I don't mean to discredit anyone's success; but just... "pOsTiNg CoNtEnT dAiLy!" & "EnGaGiNg WiTh YoUr AuDiEnCe!" or... "cOlLaBoRaTiNg!" only gets you so far, if anywhere.  Honestly, a lot of that art advice just seems designed to maintain the popularity of the already popular artist, at the moment.

We are being sold, a pyramid scheme, people!

At least it seems that way... How many art groups have you joined, just to end up being another number at the end of the day?

How many “ArT rElAtEd” questions have you put out there, in a caption, before pressing 'Send', just to be left answerless. How many group art trades have you joined, for it to just zap any and all creativity out of you, at the end?

How many tags have you used...

Or don’t use!

What are your thoughts on tags?

Do you use "keywords" nowadays?

How many "viral trends" have you tried to follow, or successfully followed, just to be left with the same results in the end. 

Absolutely Nothin'.

Another silent struggle that no one really talks about is, gaining a large following and it not reflecting towards your art content or the actual thing that you're working towards, at all.

Sure, it's great that a lot of people are following you, but... don't you...also... want those people... following you...for... Your Content...too?

I don't just want to be ✨ TuMbLr FaMoUs ✨ ...okay, calm down could I be any more dramatic?!

...I want my work to actually be seen and appreciated at the end of the day, too. WOW! How original. This is what most people want, as artists. . . ..Is what you must be thinking, right about now. As Chandler Bing (the late Matthew Perry) would say...

Thanks! Im just being honest about my current thoughts at the moment, pertaining to art, if that's ok with you! I bet Van Gogh felt a similar way, when he was alive.

Did you know? Even though considered a master now, Van Gogh only managed to sell one painting during his lifetime - ‘The Red Vineyard'.

Yes, I just compared myself to The Great, Vincent Van Gogh.

What?

Im still trying to achieve the art audience that I've been not just waiting for, but trying to attract since like 2016...only with a bunch of people following me now lol

And it's crazy to think about the state of social media noways. There was once a time on Instagram, where nudes were not allowed, At All.

I received a suspension for posting what I believed to be a tasteful nude Drawing, a while back...

Now, open up Instagram, I guarantee, you're gonna see a pair of fake tits in your face, with nothing but a thin sheer fabric not even trying to hide a nipple. It's wild.  Like, don't get me wrong, Im not hating...but if I post slightly nude art now on instagram, is it gonna get yeeted, meanwhile the actual nipples get to stay up...

I also realize that lately I have a love/hate relationship with digital art. Don't get me wrong, digital art is great for it's conveniences purposes...but Im more of a traditional art girly. That's the art medium I started with and I miss getting messy with paints and all that. These are things that can be improved in the future, but I feel kind of defeated every now and then. And I don't think Im alone in this. I watched a YouTube video from someone the other day, RawBeautyKristi, and she kind of shared a similar feeling towards social media at the moment or the state of it. Just everything is very much hate fuelled, vapid. Empty. It just kind of feels like...what's the point? you know? and I guess what Im trying to say is that...Im supposed to find the point, we're supposed to find the point; but I haven't found it yet. And maybe you haven't found it yet, either. I feel kind of discouraged to create things and that this is a whole different level, of something that just...Im turning into a competition, when there really is no way to compete with this. especially when it comes to digital art, or art in general. Social media, even. But I can't help but think about the first time I put my work out there and how well it was received. I guess I've been trying to capture that same reaction or outcome with art again, but it really was just luck.

I don't think what I shared is really that original, I think a lot of people artists or not, could relate to some degree: a desire for recognition of some sort…and I want to be a Van Gogh; as cliché as that may sound it's the truth.

but maybe it's just not meant for me. and I guess Im just trying to find a way to be ok with that and also acknowledge other factors like:

I've moved, changed art mediums and changed my social media handles a bit here and there; which, all of that combined, also makes it difficult to follow or keep up with someone. Put digital art aside and turn to traditional art...we have...Child Art Prodigy’s out here. Like how do you compete with that?! The answer is you don't! lol There's really no need for this kind of pressure that Im putting on myself.

Which is why questions like this are laughable:

because there's really nothing I can do, and Im not going to drive myself into a mental state, all in the name of trying to stay relevant. you know what Im saying? I don't know... Perhaps it's about, exploring platforms beyond the mainstream; supporting each other, and finding joy in the process, not just the numbers. Our art deserves to be seen, appreciated, and celebrated; but it's also ok if it takes a little longer than others, or doesn't happen at all... maybe it'll happen. maybe it won't.

So, let's redefine success beyond follower counts and algorithms. Let's create a space where every artist's journey is acknowledged and celebrated. Share your stories, your struggles, and your victories. Let's navigate this together. And remember: "We don't make mistakes - we just have happy accidents." - Bob Ross

[likeadevils]

2006 Lover Diaries Transcripts

May 27, 2006- Las Vegas, NV

This morning me and Mom got up (we’re in Vegas staying at the MGM Grand) and I got dressed in that light green strapless butterfly dress and boots and went to do a radio interview and it was fun. Then I went down to the radio remote where all the artists and radio people are and did about a hundred interviews. It’s cool. John Rich came up to me and made me tell him who I was. And Dierks Bentley introduced himself to me. I felt awesome. Then we were walking out and all these fans wanted their pictures with me and were calling out my name and stuff and I loved it. now I’m about to go out and do another show. Taylor Swift

Jun 3, 2006- Nashville, TN

weather: stormy on the radio today: ME what’s going on? I’ve been on WSIX 98 SO much lately and it’s unbelievable. I am excited about: Being on the radio! I’ve been winning song challenges across the country my concerns: Dude. I just want things to keep being amazing. I feel: Great. Feel like all the work is finally paying off. Tomorrow: Lunch w/ Abigail Monday: Phoenix, open for Hootie + The Blowfish at a huge radio event. Oh Gosh. Today was great. I got up early and went to Love Shack, a studio downtown with mom. There I had an ISDN phone interview for Westwood One radio. Then one for NASCAR radio. Then we broke for lunch. Then went to Sirius Radio and that went amazing. Then an interview at CMT radio. Then went to the label to label envelopes of singles. Then went home and me and Abigail watched GAC Nights. Then went to the v-ball courts. Then answered like 100 emails over myspace. Then my friend called me and said they heard “Tim McGraw” on the radio! And I couldn’t believe it! I’m so excited. This is such an unbelievable life. I’m so happy. God I’m so lucky to be doing this. I really just hope things keep going great, and OH MY GOD This is all I’ve been waiting for! Taylor Swift

Oct 12, 2006

Come In With The Rain lyrics

Oct 19, 2006

Mediabase: 14 Billboard: 17 OH MY GOD I am on the RASCAL FLATTS TOUR. I got the call yesterday and screamed louder than i can ever remember screaming before. I'm opening up for the last nine dates of their tour. I'm SO excited. My first Rascal show is tomorrow night in Omaha, Nebraska. I am SO excited. Taylor Swift

Nov 29, 2006- Nashville, TN

Mediabase: 9 BB: 11 Hey, So I just got in from Idaho Falls, I did a sold out show in Ogden, UT ?? 2 nights ago and then another in Idaho Falls last night. It was snowing in both places and FREAKING cold. MAN it was cold. So today we all piled in this huge van and drove to the airport in Salt Lake City (4 hr. drive) and ??? ?? me and mom were supposed to be flying to St. Louis for WIL JingleFest, and but Scot called me at the airport and said "St. Louis is supposed to get 15 inches of snow, they're cancelling the show. You have a day off." SO we hopped on a flight to Vegas, and we're supposed to have a 4 hour layover, but we found a flight that was just about to leave for Nashville, and it was barely full ?? so we ran and caught that one and here I am in my own comfy bed. I have tomorrow off so I'm gonna go out to eat with Abigail. Oh and I'm dieting again. Over the holidays I didn't watch what I ate and man its so weird how fast I can gain or lose weight... It's crazy. So I'm going to lose some now. <3 Taylor

Dec 2006

White Horse lyrics

Dec 27, 2006- Hendersonville, TN

So I got to check off my first life goal today. My album sold 61,000 copies last week!!! My goal was to sell 50,000 in one week. We flew by that. How CRAZY is that? How crazy is this, I'm playing the Wild Horse Saloon tomorrow night and I'm SO excited. All of my friends are coming. Cannot WAIT. It's gonna be a fun show. So I've been home since Christmas. Let's see, life is pretty good. I'm now obsessed with Law + Order. Completely obsessed. And my albums about to go gold. Havent kissed a boy in 209 days. <3 Taylor

(2003 • 2004 • 2005 • 2006 • 2007 & 2008 • 2009 • 2010 • 2011 • 2012 • 2013 • 2014 • 2015 • 2016 & 2017)

[horce-divorce]

I keep flirting w the idea of resin and going back to "I wanna make dice" but no. just. no no no. I do want to make dice but It's not happening. Every time I start to think about it again I see some humbling shit about microplastics and suddenly desperately want to repent my sins and never touch plastic again.

I will use the rest of the resin jugs I have now and then I Might sometimes use UV resin as an accent on other artwork, or occasionally cast specific pieces. but I'm retiring the whole idea of Being A Resin Artist. It's cool and fun and I can't fucking keep doing it.

anytime I have to throw away something that didn't turn out, any time I have to use the Dremel or sand down the edges of a new piece, it makes me absolutely sick to my soul what I'm doing. Like I actually honest to god cannot live with myself as a fucking plastics manufacturer. I can't do it. I live on the shores of Lake Michigan and every time I rinse off a sanded down piece of resin im literally dumping plastic directly into that lake. That's disgusting. That goes against everything I've ever fucking believed since I was a tiny little child.

I still can't bring myself to call art resin "evil" on par with industrial plastics manufacturers, but every day I look at how many things around me are already made of plastic and aren't broken down yet- packaging. the handles on brushes. the handles on drawers. phone cases. shoes, tires, clothing- and I think about how much microplastic is already in our fucking bodies, and in the bodies of newborn babies, and in the bodies of fish in the sea, and in the rain. and then I think about how much more is out there waiting to break down, and I wonder, is the plastic in the ecosystem now just the tip of the iceberg? Even if we stopped using plastic globally tomorrow, how much more is still out there, in storage, unused in the basements and closets of our homes-- or currently in use!!-- patiently waiting to turn into microplastics hundreds of years down the line?

and then I look at the shit I'm making with resin and sure it's cool. it's very nice stuff. but absolutely none of it was fucking worth contributing to that. None of it. Not for a moment.

Yes, there are certain types of art you can only make with resin. It has a really cool effect on anything you put into it. It's super useful as a sealant. And for some things, plastic is the ONLY substance we can use for that item. Some things NEED that kind of packaging- notably medical supplies- but there's plenty of certain artwork you couldn't make without plastic, too. I hate the idea of a world without sopopomo's resin sculptures. Like, this is some of the coolest shit known to man, LOOK AT IT??? Im also a fan of those big log-resin tables, and like, those surf boards like rusted indigo does. I wouldn't dream of asking artists like this to stop using this medium, especially when they've clearly mastered it.

But your choice of material does end up saying something in the end. Thinking about the source of your materials and inspiration is part of the artistic process, but I really don't see any other resin artists talking about this... (Probably bc they stopped being resin artists if they felt this way, ig?) I mean I've seen some talk about the health hazards for YOU, because resin is also a freaky scary substance to fuck up with and it can burn your skin and give you lung issues and shit, in addition to being THE most harshly unforgiving art medium I've ever encountered.

But it kinda makes me feel insane? To be the only one wondering about this? Like the art you can make with resin is so beautiful, but it comes at SUCH a steep and ugly cost- and not just to your own health but to the environment and people and animals directly around you (you really need to have proper ventilation and full PPE to work with resin. and even cured resin, though nontoxic, can hurt you. Ever gotten a paper cut from freshly-cast plastic? It fucking SUCKS).

And it's so contradictory to me?? bc so many resin artists market themselves as like these witchy, down to earth, inspired-by-nature type of people, who are selling art to the same crowd. Myself included! There is enormous irony in saying "I love nature :)" and then encasing it in a vacuum sealed toxic plastic tomb. This was not lost on me personally, but I seem to be the only one who wants to like. Talk about it. Or address it as part of my artists statement, even. I feel crazy for it!!!! :/ I'm literally not even saying we should stop using resin as an art medium. I am licherally about to go pour some lmfao. I'm just asking like. What does it say about you as an artist-- what statement are you making with your art-- if that contradiction itself is the very approach? I don't know. I don't have an answer to that question and personally that makes me wanna back off, that's all I'm saying.

Like it's not really a moral judgement on other resin artists. I'm not saying all resin artists should want to quit. I know that EVEN COMBINED, all the individual resin artists in the world couldnt produce more trash than Nestle if we tried. this is about me, not about you.

It's just, after my friends supported me SO much in opening my Etsy shop, there's understandably a lot of questions about why I stopped posting/listing shit. it was admittedly going very well.

I just dont feel good about helping Nestle produce more trash lmfao! I don't think they need my help!

Cus again, who's paying the true cost at the end of the day? It's not just the monetary cost of the resin. If we're paying for Nestles & cos pollution, who's paying for mine? My lungs? My family's lungs? My cats, if they were to ever be exposed or get hurt on resin scraps? The wild animals and plants of this place I claim to love so much, who are just swallowing my garbage whole??

Like nobody else has to consider that if they don't want to. But that stuff matters to me. And it's worth so much more to me than a bunch of plastic keychains and shit that won't even sell for enough to buy me a week's worth of groceries.

Cus I see all the trash *I* manage to produce, as just one guy. then I think about, what about all the unused, unsecured resin in the world from people who didn't research proper disposal? From corporate manufactures who didn't care about regulations? What about all the uncured liquid components that never got disposed of properly! What about when wildlife inevitably gets into all that shit someday?

I walk along the beach and I pick up discarded scraps of plastic and broken beach toys in my spare time. and these days I think, "in 50 to 100 years this is exactly where all my lovingly crafted hard work will end up. with someone just like me picking up the pieces of trash on the beach." that's actually why I called my Etsy shop Rats Trash Stash. It was cheeky, and more about my skill level with resin than anything else, but the more I thought about it, the more it was eerily on the nose.

so anyway. y'all aren't my Instagram followers so you don't even know what I'm talking about and this means nothing to you lmfao... but it kinda sucks that resin as an art form kind of only became so widely available in the same breath as "we need to drastically reduce our plastics consumption."

Maybe in a world where every single thing isn't manufactured in the cheapest most toxic possible way, maybe in a world where corporations were forced to take responsibility for their garbage- maybe in that world, plastic has a small enough impact overall that it wouldn't tear me up like this to do resin art. but we don't live there. and I can't keep doing this shit, I'm literally losing sleep over it.

Anyway I'm writing all this bc in order to finish using said resin I have to go pour some. And it's just turned into this whole Thing now every time I get an idea I wanna pour, I have a whole ethical dilemma to work thru first before I can bring myself to mix a batch. So this is me attempting psyching myself up to go do that lmfao. 💀 I have a journal to finish.

But on that note, Ive actually super enjoyed making the journals and it's inspired me to get back into papermaking and bookbinding, so I think maybe I'll keep doing journals even after I put away the resin for good. We'll see. I dislike the idea of giving up resin tbh but the alternative seems much much worse.

[speakeasy8]

[004] Fujii, K. (through the eyes of Zuzzu, his manager)

Kaze’s Autumn Fest  

(TL: This is a 4-part entry covering the LASA Concert @ Panasonic Stadium Suita of which I’m only doing the second one, because it’s the most interesting.) 

- Staff journal entry dating 28 October 2022, by Zuzzu 

The first time I saw Kaze perform live was at a show with an audience of about a hundred. Advance tickets were sold out. Setlist was comprised of well-known covers and the original songs he was already performing live back then were NaN-NaNw and Choshinochatte.  The immensity of his skills needs no introduction, and whether it be witnessed within videos on YouTube or live in front of an audience, his desire to entertain and deliver high quality enjoyment to the audience is an overpowering one. 

.

From that point at the very beginning to the LOVE ALL SERVE ALL Stadium Live four years later, it’s been a long journey of carefully finding ways to introduce the existence known as Fujii Kaze to the world. It’s a process that involved many long discussions, sharing of ideas and working around issues which were all done as a team (Kaze himself included, of course), and it still continues to this day.  I could tell from the get-go through the very first performance I experienced that Kaze already had it all: singing ability, piano skill, audience engagement, you name it. But the more I learn about him as a person, the more apparent it became that he isn’t somebody who can or should be simply thrust to the world, as the chances of it leading to grave misunderstanding is pretty high.  As such, I figured it‘d be wiser to first show people what he is able to offer as a musician, instead of simply suddenly unveiling to the world who he essentially is as a person. It was just a gut feeling I had. 

.

Another aspect I had to consider was the fact that he’s been uploading videos of himself performing piano covers on YouTube since little, so anyone who knew him from those would only know him as a cover artist there, as he hadn’t shared any of his own original works. As someone who got to hear his original songs pretty early on, I had to tackle the issue of how and when best to present them, as I felt the initial performances that would introduce him to the world should be centered on them and not the covers that he does.  If a number of people got to hear his music first, then perhaps the time for us to introduce him to a wider audience would come. But would people really understand simply from listening to his music? 

.

See, even for me, it took a while before his nature finally sunk in. In the earliest stages, I didn’t know anything apart from what I was able to see on the surface. Even now, I cannot confidently claim that I know everything there is to know about him.   The way he thinks and lives and the fact the he is a vegetarian, I couldn’t help but to stop and ask myself how old this kid really is. Based on physical appearance alone, he doesn’t look particularly out of the norm age-wise, but the moment I got a better glimpse of his mentality, the number my mental calculation came up with was 109. And the more I got to know him, the more certain of it I became. What’s scary is, this was the impression that I got right from the time I first met him and, even until now, it hasn’t changed. I know I sound absurd but even as the depth of his soul seems bottomless, there are also very simple things that he’s somehow managed to remain completely ignorant about. This yawning gap that he has, it‘s pretty astounding.   This is veering off topic a little but here’s a recent example:  Kaze: Would ye mind stoppin by a convenience store? Ah wanna withdraw me some monies.  --At the parking area of a convenience store-- Me: Aite, imma wait here for ya.  --5 minutes later-- Me: (What’s taking him so long? He said he was only gonna make a withdrawal.)     --A wild Kaze then hesitantly appears at the entrance. Looking lost, he shuffles his way back.-- Kaze: Ah couldnae wit’draw nothin. None o’ these cards seem ta work. :((   Me: Wha? Why? It clearly says ATM there on the entrance.  --And so I ended up going in with him-- Kaze: So ah wuz tryna insert mah card in ‘ere... Me: ...this is a Loppi. It’s a ticket machine, not an ATM.  Kaze: Ooooh! No wonder it wuz spittin out tix instead~~!  And this isn’t the only example. Things like this happen a few times on an almost daily basis. Anything that doesn’t bear a significant interest to him, he is completely ignorant about.  

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HELP EVER HURT NEVER was released in 2020.  And in 2022, it was followed by LOVE ALL SERVE ALL.  Both albums carry his core message. It is delivered musically-- embedded within the words, melodies and music videos. According to him, everything he feels he wants to sing about up to this point, has already been sung.   The LOVE ALL SERVE ALL Stadium Live in October is where we wanted to showcase everything Kaze had to offer musically. But just as we were thinking that, in came the docomo future project “KAZE FILMS,” through which the song “grace” was born. What’s even more amazing is that the director, after listening to the song, proposed that the music video be shot in India, a place that bears significant meaning to Kaze, being a big part of his roots. (I’ll be talking more about the music video itself in another entry.)  The origin of Kaze’s mindset, I feel, lies in India, where his family visited while he was still just a foetus sleeping within his mother, and where they went again to give thanks not too long after he finally came into the world.  

When the idea to hold this stadium concert was greenlit, Kaze and I first spoke about making it something that introduces both albums, with an emphasis on LOVE ALL SERVE ALL, and we’d base the infrastructural setup on Kaze’s mindset, turning it into a visual representation of sorts.  All the things that make Kaze who he is: his vegetarianism, his love for animals, and his Indian-based mindset, how do we apply these concepts to this stadium concert?  All other aspects other than the musical one were still only WIP right up until the beginning of September, and while whatever we could move forward with we did, the design aspect was still cloudy so it was absolutely serendipitous that we somehow ended up actually being able to visit the country mid-September.  

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I intend to journalize this trip here someday but for now, I’ll just say that the people who went with us were the film crew who shot NaN-NaNw in NYC, Universal’s Higashi-san, the graphic designer behind all of Kaze’s professional releases and merch so far, Motty Marui-san, the cameraman Ono-san, and the hairstylist-cum-makeup artist Matsuno-san, who was joining a Team Kaze project for the first time. With the creative team in tow, and through the sights that we all took in together with Kaze in India, we were finally able to determine the direction of the overall thematical design to take for the show.  The LASA flag, the staircase leading up, the décor in the SERVE ALL Area, the fresco decorating the stadium itself, the décor in the LOVE ALL Area, the smaller flags and banners, the sounds and the smells.   

.

With this, the time where we can finally show to the world Kaze's inherent nature in the most visual form possible is finally upon us.  

Photos by: Yosuke UEYAMA 

[raeygina-george]

Every third remaining ask from the game

ill just answer the whole thing in one. LONG ASS POST GUYS

💖Favourite thing to draw

WAVY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

💯Favourite piece(s)

you get a sneak peek of the art project im working on yay. the perks of putting up with my bullshit <3

some of these i like more than others but as of rn these are the pieces i show people who haven't seen my art. my makeshift portfolio, i guess

🌈Favourite colour palette(s)

i think this is obvious enough if you look at my previous answer, but pinks, oranges, purples, and blues!

🤴Favourite OC(s) to draw

oooh yikes. to DRAW???? i never draw my ocs... i really like kyrie's design but i've never drawn her outside of that so i feel like she'd be really hard to get right..... idk i mean i guess saturn????????

🎨Favourite artist(s)

i dont have a lot of these, but i like hanacue, aidairo, and milkie2's art styles (these r just what i could think of off the top of my head)

✒Favourite medium 

i like gouache cause im a whore bitch

📏Medium you’d like to work with more

gouache because im not typically a traditional artist and every time i sit down to paint i just end up suffering for like an hour before i finally accept the fact that i cannot save this little kitty from its fate of looking like a vaguely animal-shaped blob. such interactions further repel me from the world of traditional art. im taking a painting class soon though so i'll just get my act together then

💭Go-to subject matter

humans?? usually just like. smiling. not doing anything too interesting

💜Drawing staples

i don't know exactly what this means but if it's an art piece of mine, it's got pink in it

💬What you’d like to draw more of

i'd like to draw more like backgrounds and animals? there's a shit ton of stuff i wanna improve with my humans but idk i've been wanting to branch out a bit more for a while i just haven't had the time or energy to draw more than like 1 of my blorbos a month

😂 Funniest drawing

i play tee k o with my family (you) so i draw stuff for that that's silly. WAIT HANG ON

this isn't my funniest drawing but it's what i have

❓Weirdest drawing/drawing with a weird process

im doing an art telephone w my friends that i might post when we're done? i can't post it now cause that would ruin the fun but yeah

🕑Drawing(s) that took the longest

uhhhh i mean earlier in my drawing journey i took forever to draw and i really hated drawing bc i took a super long time to draw and i didn't like anything i made and no one else liked anything i made so it was just like wow i spent all that time for nothing. still glad i did it though bc that era was still an important step in my art development. anyways as for more recent pieces uhh. my piece for the yorknew auction took a while, mostly because i had 0 time or energy and it was a really involved piece

👑Favourite fictional character(s) to draw

as you will see, i really like drawing lust from fmab

👿Least favourite fictional character(s) to draw

i've found out that unfortunately drawing olivier is not very fun for me. so sad cause i really like her

👔Design process for [x] character 

oh my god guys ask me about my magical girl designs and i will go insane i will type up a whole essay. i'll talk about kyrie cause i like her a lot

here's the design! so she drowned (or rather, was drowned by someone else) at 16 after being stalked for a couple months and eventually kidnapped. not exactly the lightest story, but bc it was so traumatic her brain erased the memories, and she doesn't find out the real cause of death until much later in the story, when kye comes across a guy who lived in kyrie's town and gets the full story.

her outfit is themed after ophelia for. obvious reasons. i looked up paintings/common interpretations of ophelia and found that she was commonly depicted in a white and gold dress with reddish-brown hair half up. oh, and flowers. so i ran with that. the white streaks in her hair were actually not part of the initial plan, but when i was using the bucket tool it left blank streaks and i just thought it looked nice.

for the flowers i chose forget-me-nots because she loses her memory, and then the hands on the skirt represent her fight to stay alive (both while drowning and before) and how she reached out for help in the months leading up to her death but no one answered. she's also, in a way, reaching for her lost memories, who she used to be, etc etc. the blue thingy in the back was initially supposed to be a mermaid tail as like. a single callback to the little mermaid (and the fact that she was a really good swimmer, so it's ironic that she drowned), but i took the mermaid aspect out & added in the two eyes.

the eyes are like. the feeling of being watched. the eye at the front will always look at kyrie no matter what, and the eye in the back will look at anyone else it can find, as if pleading for help. i just noticed the bracelet? not sure why that's there. probably just for fun. anyways the ring with the star on it is from a play called 'the princess who had no name', which is about a princess with amnesia who's trying to find out who she is and where she came from.

and finally, the weapon! it's meant to be a sparkler, like the little fireworks yk? it's a callback to the very first draft of her character from like 2 years ago, back when the kyries shared the name lylie instead & i had written absolutely nothing about her character. but i was reading through the old plot/character info a while ago and i found out she apparently really liked fireworks??? that was like my only piece of info about her. i figured since she'd changed so much it was only fair i put a little something from her roots. but the sparkler can also represent how 'bright' she appears to be; people are drawn towards her, for better or worse.

📆Earliest fandom you did fanart for/first fanart

the first fandom i remember like really being hyperfixated on was.... miraculous ladybug................. BUT i didn't make any fanart for it, so instead you get the very first real piece of art i ever made on my computer :)

shoutout to me for drawing those wings by hand. i didn't know how to use the flip tool so i just spent like 4 hours trying to make them symmetrical. and now i can't even remember how to draw butterfly wings. smh

HOLY SHIT WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED. BACK WHEN YOU FIRST SHOWED ME FAIRY TAIL I DREW HAPPY A COUPLE TIMES. I DONT HAVE ANY PICS BUT THAT'S DEFINITELY EARLIER THAN THIS. oh my god and don't even get me started on my warriors phase. wow i guess i've been making fanart since forever lol

📖Sketches 

this post is already too long. no

📝Process for [x] drawing 

my general art process is idea > rough sketch > real sketch > lineart (if applicable) > coloring > rendering > SHADE THE FUCK OUT OF THAT THING > send it to my friends and say 'anything else i should add 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺' > add a little more shading > done. you can ask me for more detailed instructions, i'd be happy to give a more in-depth tutorial about something specific

✨Inspiration for [x] drawing 

uh idk i do a lot of redraws. lately i've been doing redraws + asking friends for cool poses + looking at stock images for inspiration

💚Things you like about [x] drawing

i'll go with that aubrey piece from one of the earliest questions. i like how the emotions came across in both her expression and the coloring, and how much more fluid the pose is. i think the shading & rendering is neat. overall it's a big improvement from the piece i was redrawing so im really proud of that & it's nice to see how far i've come in a relatively short amount of time

⏳Things you’d do differently with [x] drawing

using the same drawing, uhh... idk there's some stuff with the proportions that like. sometimes looks fine to me and sometimes looks off? i really just eyeball anatomy and stuff so it's not always particularly Good. i like the colors i have here but they're not the colors i was intending to use. i didn't really know how to draw the jacket and everything i did with the top just looked strange so they're not As Detailed or 'good' as they probably could be? there's parts where i got lazy and all that but all in all i really like this drawing and nothing big really jumps out at me, these are all just nitpicks

💌Some favourite feedback on art

hmmmmmmm i really like the few like. paragraph responses i've gotten. i appreciate every single comment i get but like when people rave to you about your art???? that's so nice. i can't really pick out a critique i've heard that super super helped me off of the top of my head, but there's power in knowing what you can do better next time

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Tuesday 8 January 1839

8 ½

12 ¼

ground sprinkled with snow – sun and wind and F35° at 9 ½ and breakfast in ½ hour – then with Robert Norton in the west tower – in my study there – the library as A- and Mr. Harper and all the rest call it – had the 2 large window frames taken out, and the places boarded up – the glass of both the windows very nearly all  blown into the room – a snow shower before we could get the west window blocked and the room floor drugget covered with snow – I swept  it off into a dust pan and threw it out of the window – then had my uncles’ room (oak room) windows secured or all the old glazing would have been blown in – then backwards and forwards with A- whom I could hardly persuade not to go to Cliff hill – bad as the day was – the pony stood sometime saddled in the stable till the snow was so deep on the ground A- sat it would be madness to run the risk of balling and being down – M- was to have come yesterday – expected her today – could no send the market cart to meet her at the Lodge – the large fallen oak and another smaller block the road against carriages except a little low common cart that might slip thro’ – I went to the Lodge at 12 40 – told George Thomas to wait till the mail passed – if Mrs. Lawton came to ask her to wait at the Lodge till John Booth took cloaks and the pony for her – then in and out – in the stables – spoke there to the gardener about pots to cover seacale [seakale]and George going for them to beyond Boothtown etc. – said I thought 8/. a ton for manure to be paid to Mr. Crossland too much – the gardener said it was the top price, and they paid him a very under price for his garden stuff, and would always pick the best – then walked again towards the Lodge – at 2 ½ met George Thomas coming to say the mail had passed – came in – with A- dressed – a little with Robert the Joiner – then at my desk about 4 ¼ and till 5 ¾ had written to ‘Mr. Brown artist Blake street York postpaid’ to go tonight – civil about his ‘valuable work on York minster’ – congratulate him (Mrs. L- and Miss W-) on the manner in which he has brought out his 1st no. – shall be glad to pay for the nos. as immediately as possible after having received them – beg to know what we are already indebted expecting a good opportunity of sending the money in a few days or a week – ‘shall have great pleasure in mention his work in such terms of praise as it promises well to deserve’ – then wrote memoranda and all the above of today till near 6 after having written copy of letter to Mrs. Lister with the rent and copy of note to Mackean to go tomorrow – 2 new joiners from York came about noon – their two chests of tools at Hx- sent John Booth for them with old bay, and sent George Thomas with the 2 men-bays this afternoon for the seacale [seakale] pots beyond Boothtown – Joseph the lamed joiner pretty well but very stiff – Mark Hepworth sent home Captain in good spirits before it was light this morning – George Wood the groom went home this morning to see his friends – dinner at 6 5 – A- read French – coffee –  A- wrote to her sister and I read the newspaper – came upstairs at 10 10 – ten minutes in my tower study – F33 ½° inside at 10 20 pm and whistling wind – snowy wintry day – Letter tonight from Madame de Bourke, Paris – the shawl reached her on the 1st instant but no letter! Letter also from M- York – dated not travel in the wind (much damage done in York and to the west end of the minster) – obliged to next Mr. Lawton at Manchester tomorrow night, and .:. disappointed – sorry – cannot home here – Received the packet sealed blank envelope from Mr. Parker tonight Mr. Bull’s bill, fresh copy, seeming to me rather different from the original bill

[withleeknow]

I was multitasking livestreaming the final (I told my dad before leaving “it's gonna be 3:1 to spain” anywhomst) and trying to contain all my excitement because: we.tl/t-hd0DmMYY3P

1. I brought my mimo pc out of the first time ˙ᵕ˙

2. we vibed tgt to maisie who - can I just say - I've fallen in love with, her set was incredible 🥹🎀

3. I'm laughing at my video of us freaking out over glimpses of skz's foreheads compared to actual fancams from their set- 😭😭 oh but hearing them live for the first time was still so surreal + it's lowkey given me motivation to fight for tour tickets 🫡

the iconic (greek) mythology phase- have you read the song of achilles? it's been a year and I still haven't quite recovered 🤧

and here, have our usual chaotic gyu on a rampage: tinyurl.com/2ym3hvft - I cried laughing at this edit what's wrong with his neck

lastly my ♡ ranking: moonstruck - brought the heat back - highway 1009 - royalty - your eyes only - xo - hundred broken hearts - paranormal. v similar with a little reshuffling w/ bthb bc I cannot get the song (or specifically, jay from their preview) out of my head 🤗 also did I ever mention that I preordered the weverse and engene (jay) ver. of this album (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

omg i am loving this for you, maisie is amazing !! maisie is so special to me bc we're the same age (she's like 10 days older than me lol) and i started listening to her not long after she released official music and it really feels like we've just kinda grown up together. now she gets to open for major artists and put out albums of her own and i'm just so proud :') i'm kinda bummed that i likely won't ever get to hear her sing one of my fav songs of hers (it's called the band and i) if i'm only seeing her open for other artists bc the lyrics are "we are the best damn band that's ever played right here" and she probably can't do that at other people's concerts lmao

mimo in the wild !! i love that heheheh. for rock-star i didn't pull any mimo pc but i got his mini poster 🥹 anywhomst it's wonderful that you got to experience skz in any capacity at all! i feel like that would be more my vibe bc i absolutely cannot do festivals (or floors at concerts) at all bc i am 156cm and i Will be trampled lol. but it really is surreal that you were that close to them. every time anyone is even in my timezone i flip tf out (skz in milan at the same time as seokjin is paris, double kill) !!

gosh the tour. i lowkey freak out on a daily basis thinking about the tour bc i've never bought kpop concert tickets before i know it'll just be a bloodbath. last week my friend convinced me that when the european dates drop and tickets go on sale, i should get vip bc who knows when they'll come back to europe and i might as well splurge @.@ and i am actually considering it akshfksjaf

song of achilles is a priority on my to-read list! i've heard so many good things about it, but tbh i have been absolutely shit at reading books ever since i got back into reading/writing fanfic lollll

he is crazy like he is actually insane. i would love to live in his head for a day lol. i can't wait until you get to To Do ep.72 bc gyu really was the mvp 🤣

i didn't really pay attention to brought the heat back at first but after a few listens, it really shot up my list purely bc of jay's voice in it lol. exciting that you got the albums!! do share what they look like when they arrive 🥹 there's a kpop store (that also sells boba!) here that i sometimes go to and i think they're having an enhypen event all month this month, so i might stop by if i have time hehehhehe i think you can also get a pc if you get a boba :o

[fmhiphop]

A Fed Up Lizzo: Restricts Her Twitter Account and Threatens To Quit Music

Being in the spotlight isn’t easy; it comes with extreme highs and lows, as mega performer Lizzo recently exhibited. Merely a day ago, a frustrated and enraged Lizzo restricted her Twitter account and expressed the possibility of quitting music altogether. What was the reason behind it all? A very old ugly issue that continues to rear its nasty head.   The Source of Lizzo’s Frustration A very insensitive tweet sent the “Special" artist into a tailspin. According to a recent article, Lizzo was extremely irritated after an insensitive tweeter had something to say about her weight. The poster inquired why the artist remained overweight despite her vigorous onstage activity. https://twitter.com/LayahHeilpern/status/1663204629230895106?s=20 While Lizzo has waded through a barrage of hateful comments in the past, this one was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. The source notes the artist’s response, read as thus: “I’m tired of explaining myself all the time, and I just wanna get on this app w/out seeing my name in some b#######.” The entire comment section was relentless, with no let-up. And respectfully, Lizzo was done. Given the timbre of the message and the lack of civility in how the public addresses Lizzo, no one can blame her for the outrage. The Same Old Song This is not the first time Lizzo has had to go toe to toe with negative nellies. Repeatedly, she has expressed her discontent with how people approach her. This time Lizzo did not leave it at an address to the initial commenter. She went even further to express her deepest sentiments for those who believe her weight is a promotional gimmick. Lizzo let the waiting public have it. In her words, “BEING FAT ISNT MY ‘BRAND’; BEING FAT IS WHAT MY BODY LOOKS THAT. THATS IT. THATS ALL. My ‘brand’ is FEEL GOOD MUSIC, It is CHAMPIONING ALL PEOPLE. My ‘brand’ is BLACK GIRL LIBERATION. https://twitter.com/Esther_Knowles_/status/1663977910900801543?s=20   The fact any logical individual would think this wasn't the case is ludicrous. Lizzo, Please Don’t Go Lizzo has been an inspiration to many. Her talent is astounding, and she exhibits a confidence that many young girls only wish they could have. The singer's success is refreshing in an industry where image appears to be everything. It is increasingly sad how the public cannot move past its fixation on external things as opposed to the gifts these courageous people bring to the world. While Lizzo has presented with thick skin, it’s not hard to see how ignoring personal attacks takes a toll. And this time, it took her to another place. The insults even led to the mention of the possibility of leaving the thing she loves, music. As the “Good as Hell” artist went on to say, I HATE IT HERE. The Love definitely does not outweigh the Hate on social media… all because I’m fat????” she stated. “Y’all don’t know how close I be to giving up on everyone and quitting and enjoying my money and my man on a F###### FARM. In Finality Life is hard. And it's undeniable the world would be much better if those who had nothing nice to say would simply say nothing. But unfortunately, that is not the way people move. And negativity is predominantly the choice selection of the day. So here is to hoping Lizzo can tune out the negative noise and target the positive. Her gift is much too brilliant to be shelved because of the uncivilized way people offer their unsolicited opinions. Lizzo is an inspiration, and at the end of the day, the package is inconsequential compared to all the beauty exuded from the inside. Lizzo is truly "Special" https://youtu.be/0ujjiNBQnmI Written By: Renae Richardson Read the full article

[yoongiblunt]

Idk how to do a read more but I’m back to using this as my journal until I can get thru whatever emotional funk this has all caused

Pettiest shit I’ve seen all day is my roommate blocking me on his twt because I caught him lying about being in a ward with an ankle monitor and also about being stalked and showed our other roommates bc he was just trying to guilt people. Like bro the only ward u were in was our house plz try again

Like he also claimed my cat tore a bunch of his shit up but Salem doesn’t really fuck with tapestries and has been in my room for the most part because I haven’t been home much bc work

I’m sort of exhausted with fighting w him when all I’m trying to do is go to work and come home. It seems like every day he is more upset with me, when I’m barely ever in my home.

Yesterday he got up and left the room when I came in.

All of our fights are always me expressing discomfort with something, bringing it up, and him either complaining I didn’t bring it up immediately or shutting it down with all of this reasoning why I was actually wrong about being upset and how he is actually the one who deserves an apology.

I’ve never had such a difficult time interacting with someone. It’s like all he does is poke and prod at me.

He is still actively using my toiletries and even asked if I could give him Adderall. Naturally I still help him because why would I withhold medication from someone who needs it?

He is asking me to buy him an entire new cat litter box because Salem allegedly pulled the filter off. The filter is a piece of foam that is usually switched out. He also won’t let me see it. He also claims that Salem came in his room and scratched up his tapestry. Why have all of my tapestries been absolutely fine?

He literally has a cat that he leaves unattended for hours in his room. It’s fair to assume that his own cat is breaking things and he doesn’t want to replace it.

He even went on and on about how Salem pissed in our roommates bed, but Salem had been in his kennel all day.

How would he do that?

I’m tired of my animal being blamed for things he didn’t do, so I am entirely skeptical.

How can I believe anything he says to me?

I am not a mean person, and I’m not overly selfish. Before Noah moved in, maison and I never had issues. It’s sort of like everyone switched up on me. I feel like I could be yelled at at any second just for being in the livingroom.

I tend to keep weird hours and get home at 3am. I’m always very quiet, but I like to sit in the livingroom and have something to eat and watch tv for a bit before getting ready for bed. The whole time I feel like I’m doing something wrong.

I pay my rent weeks ahead of time and go without meals because my bills are paid first.

I have nothing but old bread and kimchi in my fridge. I have 2$ in my account. I haven’t been able to afford the laundromat in over a month. But my pets are fed. My bills are covered.

I cannot afford to buy him all this shit.

I’m going to just cash app him 50$ and tell him to leave me alone again. I’m tired of always being bothered.

Once he broke into tears because he thought maison and I were talking about him badly when he asked me to give him the 100$ my mom gave me so I could pay him back for gas.

Maison and I discussed how much I should ACTUALLY send him, given that was money to help me get on my feet between paychecks at a new job.

It’s like he thinks his situation is the only one that matters most of the time.

Yes; he is struggling often and he doesn’t have a job. But he also hasn’t gone out and got a job. He applied for jobs when he first moved here and realized trendy places didn’t pay well and never tried again. He waited on his school to give him a job at the library or something, but idk what ever happened to that bc he never went.

He can pay his rent because he is a commission artist, and a very good one, but he never leaves the house and in the year and a half he has lived here he hasn’t made any friends in town. This isn’t a judgment, this is moreso a worry because he is always so depressed that he does call hotlines and tell us he wants to hurt himself. I can only worry that being so confided in one place, taking stimulants on stimulants to keep himself together, and not going out often while also being poor doesn’t help anything.

I’ve always kinda worried about him which is why I asked him to move in with all of us.

I should have worried more when he got Wendy so upset that she moved. I know she felt bullied.

I wish people would notice that this is the second time someone in this house has had a poor interaction with Noah and he has isolated and bullied them out of the house.

Noah also talks so much shit on Maisons bpd and has asked me if I thought that maison and Alex were toxic for each other as if any of those things are any of our business.

He has told me that him and mai talked ‘a ton’ about how my npd is really bad lately— I don’t have npd. I told maison I thought I might but wanted a diagnosis but it just turned out that was a trauma thing from growing up with a dad who did have npd. When I explained that to Noah he backpeddled real hard but maison told me I was a douche and that I was self centered.

I had never been told something like that and lately I’ve been really working on trying to like myself more. I have a lot of dysmorphia and dislike for myself. And it’s been really hard to exist at all in the world.

I wouldn’t even let my therapist see me outside of a single picture for weeks because I hate being seen.

I recently made a lot of friends with this job and they often tell me how good I look and help my ego. They hype me up all the time and it’s so easy to want to talk about myself to them. I just want them to hear my brain stuff and know that I feel them.

I statements are my favorite because they are passive enough and don’t place assumption on other people. I usually speak in them so I don’t sound accusatory.

This house has always been one where we didn’t need to regulate. I always told my roommates that they could feel their feelings and that regulating all the time was hard and bad days were okay.

Every time I’ve had a bad day it has been met with more stress. I was groped at work and Noah wants to fight about something. I was robbed and maison wants to make me feel worse and fault. I fell into a quiet depressive episode where all I did was slept and never ate at home. I barely used my own bathroom bc I was at work so often. It was always a wreck and it added another level of stress. I don’t understand why the bathroom is always so dirty and why he can’t clean after himself or buy his own shampoo and constantly use it. He will buy shampoo/body wash and then use mine before he uses his own.

My tooth paste and brush were getting pulled out of the holder by him constantly so I moved mine to a mug that I was sick of him and Alex using all the time.

The dishes of ‘mine’ in the sink aren’t even dishes I’ve used, they’re my dishes that other people have used and left in the sink. I can’t even use my ramen bowl sometimes because it needs washed first and I barely use it.

Not to mention the amount of clothes of mine he has ruined and acted like I was wrong for being mad at him. He bleached one of my hoodies and there are now giant orange patches all over it, he did this in April and didn’t tell me. In September I saw the hoodie on him and mentioned it and he literally said “took you long enough” and walked out of the room. I had friends over so I didn’t press it. But he was upset with me. He made the situation about him. He literally turned it into a fight about how he was going to deep clean the bathroom and I was yelling at him. I had not seen my hoodie in months but figured it was safe enough with him. I was completely wrong and upset that he would ruin something of mine, not say anything, and continue wearing it. Not to mention be fucking mean to me for saying something to him.

When he made jokes about my sister who died when I was a teenager and I got uncomfortable a bit later about the situation he told me I held it over his head and because I laughed at the time I wasn’t allowed to get mad at him because it reminded him of his mom who would wait to get onto him for shit

I literally just laughed because I didn’t want it to be awkward and wanted to move on,

I am allowed to process feelings and present them to someone so why am i being told it’s abusive to bring them up the next day?

It’s so frustrating and unfair that my emotional needs are not also being met when I try so hard

He has been sobbing on the floor and I have sat with him and calmed him.

He has been sick and I have ran him baths and held his hair back and gave him snacks and drinks that he told me were disgusting and left a mess behind him.

He almost got me beat up by people for saying some mean shit to them using my phone and not only did he make a huge event about it on Twitter but he also told everyone that it was only happening to him and bullied those people on his main. Had they seen that it would have been my ass.

It’s like I helped him by giving him a space and helping him out w some funds but when I stopped being cool and easy going about stuff because it’s HARD TO ALWAYS BE ON AND REGULATED I stopped being his friend.

I told Alex some of these things and showed him screenshots and he said that I should hear the shit Noah says about me.

I’m aware Noah and Alex are friends now and I shouldn’t have told Alex I knew any of this because he probably told Noah. I just wanted to tell someone what was going on because the single time I told maison they told me “you’re both valid” and kept it pushing. They didn’t even let me talk about it, but I’ve literally walked in on Noah saying mean shit about me and when I reacted I was being too aggressive apparently. I’m just tired of actually being picked on.

Why am I not allowed to be fragile and left alone

Why do I have to always be fighting with him?

I literally don’t speak to him most of the time and I somehow still always have to do shit for him or have issues to deal with.

I can’t afford to replace all this shit.

He literally destroyed the pillow I gave him, Maisons bedding, still has my purple comforter, and won’t stop using my razors but I’m the asshole for not immediately buying him a new litter box when I don’t even have any of my cards or even my id because I was robbed barely a week ago at my job???????

I shouldn’t have to beg someone to be nice to me when all I do is avoid conflict with him.

He just hates me now. I’m not sure where that started.

Maybe him constantly using up all of my shit and not replacing it. Or when he would beg to go somewhere with me and then make me late or dip out after making me late. Or that time he pretended to be asleep so he didn’t have to drive me to work so I had to walk and was 30 minutes late because I didn’t know I had to walk that morning because he told me he would drive me.

I just miss being friends with maison. They don’t care to listen to me anymore.