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reviewbanker · 1 year
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CardioDefend Reviews: Should You Buy Cardio Defend Heart Health Supplement?
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If you're in Canada and searching for a natural heart health supplement, CardioDefend might have caught your attention. Heart disease is a prevalent concern, and finding a reliable heart health supplement is essential. In this user-friendly product review, we will explore CardioDefend, a popular heart health supplement, to help you decide whether it's the right choice for your heart health journey.
What is CardioDefend?
CardioDefend is a dietary supplement specifically formulated to support heart health using natural ingredients. As people in Canada seek alternative ways to maintain cardiovascular well-being, CardioDefend has gained popularity. Designed to be a part of your daily heart-healthy routine, this supplement aims to provide targeted support and protection to your heart.
Ingredients of CardioDefend
The success of CardioDefend lies in its thoughtfully chosen ingredients. Key components include hawthorn extract, Coenzyme Q10 (CoQ10), L-Carnitine, magnesium, and potassium. Each ingredient plays a vital role in supporting overall heart function, making CardioDefend a comprehensive heart health supplement.
How Does CardioDefend Work?
CardioDefend's powerful formula works by harnessing the potential of its key ingredients. Hawthorn extract is believed to improve blood flow and strengthen blood vessels, while Coenzyme Q10 supports energy production in heart cells. L-Carnitine may assist in maintaining healthy cholesterol levels, and magnesium and potassium are essential minerals for heart function. This targeted approach aims to provide the heart with the support it needs.
Buy CardioDefend Before it's SOLD OUT
Should You Buy CardioDefend?
Considering the importance of heart health, the decision to buy CardioDefend should be informed and well-researched. Here are some factors to consider:
1. Effectiveness:
CardioDefend has received positive feedback from users, with many reporting improvements in energy levels, overall well-being, and heart health. However, individual results may vary based on lifestyle and overall health.
2. Safety:
CardioDefend is considered a legitimate product and is generally safe when used as directed. It is advisable to consult with a healthcare professional before starting any supplement, especially if you have underlying health conditions or are taking other medications.
3. Customer Reviews:
Real customer reviews can provide valuable insights into the effectiveness and potential side effects of CardioDefend. Look for reviews from verified customers to make an informed decision.
4. Canada-Specific Information:
Ensure that the product is readily available and shipped to Canada. Buying directly from the official website can ensure the authenticity of the product and may offer access to special promotions or discounts.
5. Personal Health Goals:
Consider your specific heart health goals and whether CardioDefend aligns with your overall health journey.
Buy CardioDefend Before it's SOLD OUT
Conclusion
In conclusion, CardioDefend appears to be a promising option for individuals in Canada seeking a natural approach to support heart health. Its carefully selected ingredients work synergistically to provide targeted support to the cardiovascular system.
Before making a purchase, it's essential to conduct thorough research and consider factors such as product effectiveness, safety, customer reviews, and your personal health goals. Consulting with a healthcare professional is always advisable, especially if you have underlying health conditions or are taking medications.
If you're ready to take proactive steps towards heart health, CardioDefend may be a valuable addition to your daily routine, alongside a heart-healthy lifestyle.
Get Access Now: CLICK HERE .
READ MORE ➡️ Cardio Defend Reviews — Ingredients, Side Effects, Customer Risks (CardioDefend Complaints)
READ MORE ➡️ LeanBiome Reviews: BEWARE SHOCKING RESULTS — Read Before You Buy
READ MORE ➡️ CardioDefend Reviews - Real Cardio Defend Results or Serious Customer Fraud Complaints?
READ MORE ➡️ LeanBiome Reviews: BEWARE SHOCKING RESULTS – Read Before You Buy
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noyasmashing · 6 months
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Love at First Light
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Daichi x fem!reader
CW: Slightly dom!reader, fem reader, smoking, implied sex (no real smut)
A/N: Having some intense brainrot for Daichi liking someone who smokes,,, This is my first writing so lmk if you have any comments or criticism
He’s such a good boy. He doesn’t do drugs or drink, he gets good grades, and even plays volleyball, so why you? Ever since he saw you while on a run, leaning against an apartment building lazily smoking a cigarette his mind has been hazy.
After striking up a conversation, you handed him a cigarette with your number scrawled on it. Despite knowing he should focus on volleyball, he couldn't resist the temptation to text you. Harmless, he reasoned. He quickly discovered you were a third-year at Karasuno, just like him. Now during breaks between classes, he actively sought you out, whether to offer a piece of candy or simply to exchange greetings.
He made it a habit to encourage you to quit smoking, even going as far as bringing pamphlets highlighting the dangers of nicotine. Always armed with candy, he hoped it would serve as a healthier alternative. But when you unexpectedly pinned him against the wall and kissed him, the mingled scents of cigarettes and coffee only fueled his attraction further.
Daichi's breath came in ragged gasps as he darted through the deserted streets of Miyagi prefecture, his heart pounding with anticipation. The apartment building where you resided loomed ahead, a familiar landmark on his jogging route. It sort of became a routine for the two of you to meet when he jogged by.
As he drew closer, he spotted you in the alleyway, a half-smoked cigarette between your fingers. Knowing he was close, you squatted down and rubbed the lit cig into the exposed dirt.
As your ears caught the sound of his approaching footsteps, you rose from your squatting position, meeting his gaze as he stood before you, breathless and slightly flushed. A smile played at your lips as you greeted him, “I was hoping to see you here!” He smiled cheerfully, still being awkward as the day you two met.
"Caught me again," you remarked in a husky tone, teasingly crushing the remains of your cigarette underfoot. He chuckled at you remark shifting side to side nervously.
"Back at it with the cardio?" you quipped, your eyes trailing over his form appreciatively. His cheeks reddened further at your remark, stumbling over his words as he tried to maintain composure.
"M-maybe I just wanted an excuse to see you," he confessed, drawing nearer, his gaze lingering on the exposed skin of your legs. An impish grin tugged at your lips as you toyed with him, a hand drifting to his shoulder.
"Such a good boy," you murmured, relishing in the effect your words had on him. His attempt at maturity faltered as he reached out to adjust your skirt, a futile attempt to conceal the tempting expanse of soft skin.
An impish grin tugged at your lips as you toyed with him, “Are you trying to pull it off? In public?” Your teasing tone causing his blush to deepen. He tried to defend himself but the words died in his mouth when you looked at him like that,
"How about we head up to my place? You can continue your 'cardio' routine there," you suggested, guiding him with a knowing smile as he slowly caught on to your suggestive innuendo.
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katerinaaqu · 3 months
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The Iliad Plague
Honestly I am disappointed at how little we talk about the Iliad plague that was sent by Apollo in the first rhapsody of the Iliad to the Greeks after Chryses, Apollo's priest, begged for justice for the disrespect Agamemnon showed him plus the fact that his daughter was not returned to him.
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"First he stroke the mules and the swift dogs but then he shot his shafts to the humans themselves and the funeral pyres were burning non-stop and crowded and for nine days the army was being assaulted by the God's arrows"
(Translation by me)
So we basically get that the plague spread to animals first and then swiftly passed to humans and it became deadly very quickly.
It seems like a classic case of an assault of the bacteria Yersina which is responsible for three major plagues; the bubonic, septisemic and pneumonic plagues. All three seem to be associated with transmission from animals to humans. In this case my random guess would be that this would be the case or a pneumonic plague. It transmits from the breathing of fumes and it is much easier transmittable from one person to another given that both other plagues require the mix of bodily fluids. Since the disease seems to strike animals commonly not associated with food like mules or dogs it seems more probable the disease was of a lung nature.
The main symptoms of a pneumonic plague are:
Fever
Headaches
Shortness of breath
Chest pain
Intense coughing
Hemoptysis (aka "coughing out blood")
It seems indeed highly probable that the plague was of such nature which would lead to a large number of soldiers suffer from headaches and fever which gradually got worse and added coughing chest pain and coughing out blood (the other plagues have also intense vomiting-boubonic- and blood infection -septisemic-). Various post-homeric and mainly early Roman sources speak on the contributing of Palamedes suggesting better diet and exercise countering the effects of the plague or preventing it. Although traditionally we know plagues can be effectively cured with the use of antibiotics it is probable that the mention of cardio exercise could be a wink that a good cardio system can defend itself against lung diseases.
Either way it surprises me that the losses of war when studied rarely mention the results of this plague since many people count only the deaths in battle and not this which is ironically the only set of deaths seemingly affecting only the Greek side. It is interesting given how many times cities being surrounded by armies are the first to suffer from diseases rather than the people outside (although both sides suffer eventually from diseases). Realistically speaking we do understand why we see so many mentions of diseases.
And again when it comes to the sequel Odyssey as well, very few people consider not only the losses Odysseus undoubtedly suffered in battle but also one should expect he lost a man or two from the plague as well (mind you I can easily imagine some kings also being affected by it at least at early stage especially the less vigorous such as Nestor because of age or Menelaus if we take my headcannon that he probably was a bit frail of health later as I mentioned to the post tagging @thehelplessmortals which could indeed back up more how careful Helen was with him since plagues do affect massively the health of lungs or heart permanently
More vigorous and fighting fit characters like Achilles or Diomedes or Odysseus and Agamemnon seemed less likely to have been stroke by the plague. Achilles is also the one who calls upon council of kings to find a solution.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
During my collaboration with @artsofmetamoor I always entertain the thought of disease to the various war camps. Disease would often be the most common way soldiers died instead of battles.
In our stories our characters suffer a lot of many things but this also makes me do a note to self to refer more on plagues or diseases
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zack10x · 4 months
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Discover Cardio Defend: The Natural Solution for Optimal Heart Health
Cardio Defend is a revolutionary formula designed to enhance blood circulation to the heart and prevent cardiovascular issues. This supplement features a 100% natural blend of powerful ingredients aimed at reducing the risk of heart diseases.
Cardio Defend comes in an easily dissolvable powder form, offering protection against heart attacks, strokes, hypertension, and other heart-related conditions. The primary ingredients in Cardio Defend include vitamin C and vitamin K, which are known to lower blood pressure, protect the cardiovascular system, and promote overall heart health.
Manufactured in the USA, Cardio Defend adheres to stringent standards to ensure safety and efficacy. The clinically tested formula provides rapid relief without the adverse effects of artificial additives or toxins.
How Does Cardio Defend Work?
Cardio Defend adopts a multifaceted approach to tackle the root causes of poor cardiovascular health, enhancing various aspects of well-being. Here’s how it works within the body:
➢ Strengthens the Heart
Cardio Defend enhances heart function by fortifying the heart muscles, making it easier for the heart to pump blood throughout the body. This support reduces the risk of coronary heart diseases, enabling users to live without the fear of future heart issues.
➢ Improves Blood Flow
By aiding the heart in pumping blood more efficiently, Cardio Defend helps regulate blood pressure and improves the heart’s systolic and diastolic functions. It also repairs damaged muscles that impede blood flow and stabilizes the heartbeat, ensuring healthier blood circulation and nutrient delivery to all body tissues.
➢ Boosts Energy Levels
Cardio Defend is packed with ingredients that accelerate metabolism, enhancing fat breakdown and energy production. This increase in energy levels helps users feel more active and energetic, reducing feelings of sluggishness.
➢ Strengthens Arteries
The supplement supports arterial health, which is crucial for overall cardiovascular function. Weak arteries can lead to irregular blood pressure and internal bleeding. Cardio Defend contains natural extracts that fortify artery walls, improving blood flow and overall cardiovascular health.
➢ Enhances Fitness Levels
Cardio Defend contributes significantly to physical fitness. The ingredients boost energy and improve heart health, facilitating better blood flow. These benefits enable users to engage in physical activities like running, biking, and hiking with reduced risk of heart-related issues.
➢ Reduces Oxidative Stress
The accumulation of free radicals can harm the heart and other vital organs. Cardio Defend is rich in antioxidants that reduce oxidative stress and help eliminate toxins from the body. This reduction in oxidative stress not only improves cardiovascular health but also enhances the function of other organs, promoting overall health.
Cardio Defend’s natural ingredient blend is free from side effects, ensuring a safe and beneficial boost to heart health and overall vitality.
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thelmagrove · 8 months
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Essential Tips for Beginners: Learning How to Play Football
Learning พนันบอลเล่นยังไง (how to play football) can be an exciting journey for beginners. As you step onto the field, there's a blend of thrill and anticipation that comes with mastering this sport. Whether you're a newcomer or someone looking to refine their skills, here are essential tips to guide you through the process of learning football.
Understanding the Basics
Before diving into the specifics, grasping the fundamental rules and positions in football is crucial. Familiarize yourself with the field, goalposts, and basic regulations. Learn about the positions like striker, midfielder, defender, and goalkeeper to comprehend their roles and responsibilities.
Practicing Dribbling and Ball Control
Start by practicing dribbling—a fundamental skill in football. Control the ball using both feet, ensuring precision and agility. Consistent practice enhances your ball control, enabling you to maneuver effectively during games.
Mastering Passing Techniques
Passing is the cornerstone of effective gameplay. Work on different types of passes such as short passes, long passes, and through balls. Focus on accuracy and pace to ensure your passes reach their intended targets.
Improving Shooting Skills
Scoring goals demands precise shooting techniques. Practice various shooting styles—instep drive, side-foot, and volleys—to become adept at striking the ball with accuracy and power.
Enhancing Tactical Awareness
Understanding the game's tactical aspects is pivotal. Learn about formations, strategies, and off-the-ball movements. This knowledge helps you anticipate plays, position yourself strategically, and contribute effectively to your team.
Fitness and Conditioning
Football requires stamina, agility, and strength. Engage in regular fitness routines encompassing cardio, strength training, and agility exercises to enhance your physical capabilities on the field.
Participating in Drills and Friendly Matches
Join practice sessions and drills to apply what you've learned in a controlled environment. Friendly matches provide invaluable experience, allowing you to implement your skills in real-time scenarios.
Seeking Guidance and Feedback
Seek guidance from experienced players or coaches. Their insights can immensely benefit your development. Additionally, welcome feedback to identify areas needing improvement and fine-tune your skills accordingly.
Watching Professional Games
Observing professional เว็บพนันบอล แนะนํา (Recommended football betting website) games offers insights into advanced techniques, strategies, and player movements. Analyze games to gain a deeper understanding of the sport's nuances.
Maintaining Consistency and Patience
Remember, mastering football takes time and dedication. Stay consistent with your practice routines and be patient with your progress. Celebrate small victories and learn from setbacks to continually improve.
Conclusion
Learning how to play football involves a blend of technical skills, tactical awareness, physical fitness, and dedication. By grasping the basics, practicing diligently, seeking guidance, and staying committed to improvement, beginners can gradually develop their prowess in this exhilarating sport.
Football is not just a game; it's a passion that unites people worldwide. Embrace the learning process, stay motivated, and enjoy the journey of becoming a proficient football player.
Whether you're aiming for casual play or aspiring to compete professionally, these tips serve as a solid foundation to kickstart your football journey. Keep practicing, stay focused, and revel in the joy that football brings.
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chbjjteam · 1 year
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The Art of Jiu-Jitsu: A Journey Through Martial Arts Training
Jiu-Jitsu, often referred to as the "gentle art," is a martial art that has gained immense popularity worldwide for its effectiveness in self-defense, physical conditioning, and mental discipline. Whether you're a beginner looking to start your martial arts journey or an experienced practitioner seeking to deepen your skills, Jiu-Jitsu offers a transformative path. In this article, we will explore the world of Jiu-Jitsu martial arts training and what makes it such a unique and rewarding experience.
The Fundamentals: Building a Strong Foundation
Martial arts training in Jiu-Jitsu begins with a strong emphasis on fundamentals. These include learning basic techniques, positions, and principles that form the core of the art. Beginners start with understanding positions such as mount, guard, and side control, as well as basic escapes and submissions. The fundamentals lay the groundwork for more advanced techniques and strategies.
Physical Conditioning: Developing Strength and Agility
Jiu-Jitsu is a physically demanding sport that provides an excellent full-body workout. Training sessions typically include warm-ups, cardio exercises, and drills that improve strength, endurance, and flexibility. As practitioners progress, they often incorporate additional strength and conditioning exercises tailored to their goals.
Mental Discipline: Focus and Patience
Martial arts training in Jiu-Jitsu places a strong emphasis on mental discipline. Practitioners learn to stay focused, calm under pressure, and patient in their approach. In the heat of a sparring match, mental resilience becomes as crucial as physical prowess. Jiu-Jitsu teaches the art of strategic thinking and adaptability.
Sparring (Rolling): Applying Techniques in Real Time
A unique aspect of Jiu-Jitsu training is "rolling" or sparring. This is where practitioners apply techniques they've learned in a live, dynamic, and resistance-based environment. It's a test of both physical and mental skills, as practitioners aim to control or submit their training partners while defending themselves.
Belt System: Progression and Achievement
Jiu-Jitsu uses a belt ranking system to recognize a practitioner's skill and experience level. Beginning with a white belt, students progress through various colored belts, with each level requiring a certain degree of proficiency in techniques and knowledge of the art. Achieving a higher belt rank is a significant accomplishment and a testament to years of dedication and hard work.
Lifestyle and Community: Beyond the Mats
Jiu-Jitsu often becomes more than just a hobby; it becomes a lifestyle. Many practitioners find a sense of belonging within the Jiu-Jitsu community. They build lasting friendships, attend seminars, and even participate in competitions if they choose. The camaraderie and support of fellow practitioners create a strong sense of unity and shared passion.
Conclusion
At Carlos Henrique Academy, we believe that Jiu Jitsu martial arts training represents a profound journey encompassing physical prowess, mental resilience, and personal evolution. Whether your motivation lies in self-defense, competitive aspirations, or a desire for an engaging and fulfilling lifestyle, Jiu-Jitsu unfolds as an enduring odyssey of self-discovery and self-improvement.
For those contemplating the initiation of this martial arts voyage or seeking to deepen their existing practice, it is vital to understand that Carlos Henrique Academy offers more than just self-defense techniques. Our academy serves as a conduit to sculpting the finest version of yourself, merging the physical and mental aspects of Jiu-Jitsu to empower you in every facet of life.
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asgardian--angels · 4 years
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Recommend some good folk metal music please
:D i never thought i’d see the day when someone actually wants to know more about the music i listen to *cracks knuckles* my time has come
I apologize in advance for this novel. Feel free to skip to the recommended tracks lol.
Most folk metal comes out of northern Europe (Finland, heavily) though you can find it all over the world (Hu Band comes to mind but I mean, it’s on every continent). I am one of those people with like, a small handful of favorite bands that I listen to mercilessly so I am sure that I am only representing a miniscule percentage of what’s available out there. What’s great is that folk metal is much more versatile than many other genres in its sound; the essence of folk metal is simply to 1) utilize traditional (or rather, in the sense of a metal band, non-traditional) instruments such as violin, accordion, brass ensemble, bagpipes, what have you, and 2) have lyrical themes which revolve around regional folklore, mythology, cultural heritage, or place (what I particularly like is a frequent reverence and respect for nature). Other genres of metal (death, black) have the second element but not the first, and tend to incorporate darker overall tones and consistently harsher or lo-fi vocal styles and sounds. Folk metal can be a gateway genre into metal and can often be quite hopepunk (if you will). Because of these criteria, the actual sound of folk metal can range from sea shanties to ‘spooky walk in the midnight woods’ to scathing social commentary to SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SH
Basically you can find a range of styles within the genre that fit what you’re looking for, from those that have an orchestral, ballad feel, to things that border on death metal but have a hurdy-gurdy in there. There’s also a much higher percentage of female-led folk metal bands than other metal genres.
I’ll go through my top picks.
Turisas. These motherfuckers. My boys.
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Turisas is based in Finland, but sing primarily in English (with occasional Finnish, a smidge of Greek and Swedish too). Four albums out to date, fifth in progress. Sound is absolutely fucking bonkers god tier shit, if I may say so myself. Every single song sounds like you’ve been transported into an Iliad metal musical. Heavy use of a full orchestra and choir, along with sick violin and accordion solos. Their lyrical themes focus heavily on ancient Greco-Roman and Viking military history - but before you raise any red flags, rest assured they’re liberal as fuck and trust me the tea is scalding when Mathias feels like making a Point about Then and Now. No seriously, I don’t know how to express the beauty and depth of his songwriting - Mathias Nygård is an incredibly talented composer, musician, and songwriter (nay, POET), and an extremely intelligent and down to earth guy. There are plenty of bands that are happy to write Viking songs about pillaging and glorious death in battle and all that (Alestorm comes to mind), those are a dime a dozen. Turisas makes history come to life in a way that transports you back in time and thrusts you into the living breathing world of the past. They deal with the horrors and tragedy of war from both sides, consequences and motivations, fears and pride and loss, home and family, despair and hope. They write songs about people, big and small, and their role in weaving the great tapestry of history. And the best part is that it’s informed - Mathias does his damn research and the tales he tells are rooted in fact. He brings them to life so we can experience what it must have been like for those real living people, with the goal of forcing us to confront our own selves in them. He’s a modern Homer, I shit you not. 
Did I mention there’s a song about pirates that’s actually really complex and nuanced, about how the hypocrisy and vile colonialist deeds of emperors makes them no different than the criminals they persecute?
Or that they do a badass cover of Rasputin?? yeah?????
Anyway enough gushing. Their second and third albums (The Varangian Way, Stand Up And Fight) are consecutive concept albums that follow the story of the Varangian Guard (the legendary Viking battalion that defended Alexander the Great) so the songs are actually chronologically linked to tell this epic tale. It’s a fucking listen, lads. The Varangian Way is probably my favorite album. But all their albums are top notch. 
My favorite songs: End of An Empire (this one comes for 2020 hard), Piece by Piece (AKA die fascists 2k20), Cursed Be Iron, Among Ancestors, Greek Fire, Miklagard Overture (you gotta earn this song tho, it’s the finale)
Good first listen picks/hits: Battle Metal, To Holmgard and Beyond, March of the Varangian Guard, Ten More Miles, One More
Finntroll. These other motherfuckers. My other boys.
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Another big name in the Finnish folk metal scene. As you can see, their band revolves both aesthetically and musically around Scandinavian troll folklore. Yall weird elf-fuckers who like the really big ears? Here you go. Look at those ears. They’re good friends with Turisas. Both love their facepaint.
Musical style leans much more towards black and death metal influenced, with a heavier, fuller sound and growling vocals. But it’s an incredibly rich and creative aural tapestry, with layers of masterfully executed sound that’s a real delight to lose yourself in. Use of fiddle, brass, keyboard, accordion, and banjo, and strong folk melodies make their sound unmistakable and unique. They are known for their ‘black humppa’ beat, which basically gives the effect of feeling the primal need to stomp around loudly to their music. It’s great cardio. They also utilize orchestra in some great intro tracks. They know their stuff.
The majority of their songs are sung in Swedish (they do some English cover songs which are FANTASTIC holy SHIT), but don’t let that stop you. The mood and power and emotion of their music transcend language, and you can be sure the lyrics are about either trolls, witches, the dark woods, spirits, or something of that ilk. I think Swedish as a language works very well with this kind of music, and honestly having it in English would lose something. 
They have been around a long time and so have many albums, but I personally have only listened to the last three which feature their current singer, Mathias Lillmåns, whom I adore. Those albums are Nifelvind, Blodsvept, and their recent release Vredesvävd (that i’ve had on repeat since I got it three weeks ago). I’m sure their other ones are great too, I just can’t make a personal recommendation since I haven’t heard them. 
My favorite songs: Galgasång, Tiden Utan Tid, Ylaren, Skogsdotter, Två Ormar, Ett Norrskensdåd, Skövlarens Död
Good first listen picks/hits: Forsen, Under Bergets Rot, Häxbrygd, Trollhammaren (older song), Solsagan
I’ll go through these other ones a little faster, I haven’t heard quite as much from them but I do love them.
Korpiklaani. 
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Great, full folk sound, utilizes a lot of folk instruments including some less commonly seen ones like hurdy gurdy. Songs are mostly in Finnish but plenty in English too. Jonne Järvelä has a really unique voice that grows on you, but it’s not for everyone. The band started as Sami folk, and Jonne is trained in Sami yoik singing, which makes an appearance in a few songs. I prefer the Finnish tracks, as a lot of the English ones are drinking songs lmao. But again, really well-executed music with layers of sound that keeps you hooked. I haven’t heard enough of their discography to really recommend enough to cover everything. 
Song picks: Minä Näin Vedessä Neidon, Metsälle, Ämmänhauta, Lempo
Moonsorrow.
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Definitely a darker, black-folk band. Probably not a great pick if you aren’t accustomed to black metal - very long tracks (8-15 mins is standard), growling/shrieking vocals, a ‘thinner’ but encompassing wall of sound usual of black metal, but with the benefit of wonderfully entrancing dark folk elements and chants. It’s done really really well. Sung almost entirely in Finnish (apart from cover tracks). Lyrically, focuses on themes of Norse mythology, man vs nature and similar elements. Definitely one of those bands whose music gets you into a zone. I can lose serious time just putting a whole album on and letting my mind wander elsewhere. My favorite album is Jumalten Aika. 
Song picks: Ruttolehto Sis. Päivättömän Päivän Kansa (my fucking FAVORITE), Suden Tunti (well known hit), and also uhh check out their cover of Non Serviam cause it’s a fucking banger
Other bands that I like what I’ve heard but really can’t say much about them, whoops - Tyr (from the Faroe Islands, great stuff, Faroese is a baller language), Ensiferum, Nightwish (female-led).... I’m open to suggestions. Like I said, there are folk metal bands all over the world, and each is intrinsically linked to a sense of place and cultural identity that makes them unique. I’d love to hear about more tbh. 
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danielletinybruiser · 3 years
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The Good Fight New York/New Jersey Open 7/31/21
I competed yesterday! And I actually feel really good about it! I'm a writer, so, writing about my experiences helps me really grasp them and process them and such, so, here goes! 
And also: as always, when I compete, it's in basically no-stakes tournaments for anybody. I'm not going to big competitions, I'm just doing this as a hobby and going to light fires under my butt and test my skills as they are in the moment. So, I take it seriously, but I don't go into this with delusions of grandeur! I do not think I am the next Danielle Kelly.
(Content warning for weight here, I talk about it a fair bit!)
I think I prepared pretty well this time around! I trained *a lot* and took conditioning very seriously. I also had a funny thing with weight: since getting my (cough, cough, under my breath) Peleton - I've been riding a lot and running a ton using the app. I sure thought I was being a genius doing frequent two-a-day cardio workouts, thinking "oh yeah, I'll be 125 no problem." Instead, obviously, I gained some muscle weight from doing tons of high intensity interval workouts. It's a good thing! I'm so much stronger than I was, walking now at 134-137, and my cardio is very solid. But it did mean having to be very conscious of weight to ensure I came in at 135 on Saturday.
Again, this should actually be ideal for this level of competition (read: LOW), because it means my walking weight and competition weight are super nice and close (I used to be around 126-129 and still competed at 135, thanks to the other major tournament I do having nothing between 120 and 135), and I feel so much more durable.
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An action shot! Thanks for reading so far! Lol
So, I was strict with my diet for the last month (I usually am, this just meant no cheat days for a couple of weeks, really), and did weigh-ins periodically, then every day in the last week. It also meant doing a little bit of math and knowing exactly what kind of food I could have in the morning, and what was safe to do in terms of sweating just in case. It was good to know, because that came in handy!
Yesterday morning, I woke up at 136.2 (you get a 1lb allowance, so I was only .2 over). I did a shorty 15 minute HIIT workout so I could have a tiny bit of food and fluid, being very careful to not dehydrate or do anything stupid. I'm not going to cut weight for this, lol, but it would be truly ridiculous for me, at my height (5'5") and body composition (muscular, but not JACKED), to have to go in at 145 for being, you know, .2 over.
The nice side effect of a short workout in the morning was helping my nerves a little bit (they were BAD), so at least that helped me breathe. I don't know if I've ever been this anxious before competing before, and I'm not sure exactly why — I know there are no stakes besides my pride, there's no money on the line, this isn't my career! This is my hobby, for fuck's sake, so I don't know why my body interpreted "lets compete" as "we are going to WAR and we might DIE," but there it was! I was scared! Brains are stupid!
We got a tiny bit lost on the way, but it was ok because things were running behind at the tournament. No problem at all. I made weight (135.6) and started to warm up. The venue had plenty of extra space on a turf field to warm up, and Viki was a SAINT, not only to drive my nervous ass over, but to help me warm up about six times. I felt better after just drilling and flow rolling a tiny bit.
It was a long wait, but my gi division was up first. I had one opponent at bantamweight, so, a small bracket in gi.
Here's how it goes in a submission-only tournament: you have your brackets, for a full division it's basically semi-finals and finals, with a bronze medal match and the two winners do a gold/silver match. With two, it's best two out of three wins gold, the other person gets silver.
For blue belts, we have eight minute regulation matches. No points, no advantages, no stupid bullshit (sorry, I hate points tournaments). If you both survive eight minutes with no submissions, you go into overtime rounds: a back take, a spiderweb/armbar, and a classic head and arm triangle. For each, the defender needs to escape, and the attacker needs to submit. If you successfully escape, and you successfully submit, you win! If both people escape, or both people submit, you go to the next round, and it repeats as needed (back, armbar, triangle).
It's a great format, imo, and really suits my style: I play defense, I like to wear people down, and then go for it when I see an opportunity. I will play all kinds of wild positions and try to get creative and weird with it, and frankly have fun, and I think submission-only facilitates that!
Still, I was so goddamned nervous.
We started the match and it was ON. My opponent and I were really, really well matched. Size and skill wise, we gave each other a lot of hell. It was rough, too, and I have all the bruises on my face to prove it! But I was having fun. A lot of fun.
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Overtime action shot!
Our match went through regulation, to overtime. I escaped her back take, but her coaches fought with the ref a little. I offered to do it again, because, hey, I want to do it better. This may have been stupid of me, but I also, like... the reason I like sub-only so much is that I hate stupid technicalities and bullshit. So I offered to go again and did! And I escaped pretty well. On my turn to attack, I submitted her.
I honestly couldn't believe I won a match in gi. The last time I got a gold medal in gi, it was because I went to the 30+ division, and my opponent was 53. I was happy to win that day, but like... c'mon. I was 35 at the time. In sub-only, women don't have age categories, and I believe my opponent was maybe a bit younger than me, but probably not far from my age, and tough as hell. She was my size, we were well-matched in strength. And she BROUGHT IT.
I remember that going through my head, like "you can win in gi???" I could hardly believe it. I got my hand raised IN GI.
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This felt great, and I was basically in shock.
(I won't belabor this, but I hate the gi. I think I'm terrible in it. Tuesday night - my last hard training day before competition, I did ok, but felt demoralized. I almost cried after training and told Viki that night "I don't think I'm going to compete in gi" and thought about pulling my registration. This is why I couldn't believe it, lol).
We had a short break and went again. Again, we did the full regulation match - she had an armbar at one point that I escaped, and I did have a last second back take and choke attempt, but I ran out of time. We went to overtime, I escaped her back take... and I remember, in the moment, getting ready for my turn to attack: "this is probably for a medal. IN GI. You are this close!" and I cinched it with a submission. I got my hand raised again. I thanked her and her coaches, and even chatted with them a little.
We went to the podium - another woman congratulated me on the match, saying she watched it and love dit. The podium worker said the same, and I was flattered. Kirsten (my opponent, who again, was fucking AWESOME and tough) and I did the podium thing, getting our medals and taking pictures.
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Podium action shot!
Then, it was off to watch my teammate Ollie compete and kick ass,  and then get changed for no-gi, where I absolutely knew Kirsten was going to come for blood, lol.
It still didn't feel real: a gold medal? Me? Danielle? Gi-hating Danielle who almost cried after just training in a gi on Tuesday night (again, nothing went wrong, lol, my training partners are incredibly conscientious and were preparing me!) - I let myself wear the medal for a couple of minutes before putting it in the backpack.
Even now, just about 24 hours later, it doesn't feel completely real. I swear, I only even compete in the gi because it's just five bucks more to do both divisions, and you may as well get all the rolls you can on a day you are showing up.
There was a pretty big time gap between gi and no gi, but I was honestly a little nervous again. They put a (fantastic) purple belt (that's the next skill level up if you aren't familiar with jiu jitsu, and a pretty huge gap for me, being honest) in our division, and I faced her first. There was really no pressure at all here, I do not expect to win against a purple belt. I feel — very honestly — that I have a very, very long way to go in blue. Based on how the day went, I do feel like I'm on my way, and making real improvements — But I'm no where near purple.
I survived about five minutes of an eight minute regulation period, and did survive a pretty intense back take at first, but she got me with a second back take and rear naked choke/crank. All the power to her!
Then, the bronze medal match was between me and Kirsten again (who I faced in gi). Holy shit, this was a doozy. We fought really, really hard in regulation. I know she wanted it BADLY after gi, and I could tell she had serious wrestling and probably Judo as well in her background. She tossed my ass around! It was rough and it was tough, and my face is a little fucked up today, not going to lie. But I loved it, and loved rolling with her — she had such good pressure, and beautiful knee cuts, and she was strong and fast and athletic.
We went through regulation, to the first overtime. I won the "rock paper scissors" to determine who went first and I took her back... and she escaped. She did her back attack, and I escaped. 
At this point, I was TIRED. Not no much cardio-tired (I have myself conditioned pretty well), but... "I want to lie down and sleep" tired. But I got her in the armbar position for the second round, squeezed... and got the tap! Again, I thought "you are this close to a medal!" and defended the second round armbar well.. I really, really thought I was out, but in the last possible instant she just NAILED IT and got my arm back and I had to tap. It was fantastic, she did well to grab it back.
So, we went to a third round of overtime. Triangle. I had her in, squeezed, cut the angle... and got the tap! Yes! Now, I really knew I was close. I tapped her, all I needed to do was escape her triangle and I'd have a bronze in no-gi. I wanted it. I really wanted it!
I got into her triangle. It was tight right away (which it should be!), I *thought* I had stacked her in the correct position to escape, I thought I could do it...
And then... I remember dreaming. I started coming to, thinking I was asleep in my bed, and that i was dreaming about competition. I started to become conscious, and I heard her say "I think she's out!" and saw her face and the ref's face. It took me a few moments, but I realized where I was, and that I had passed out completely. She sank a PERFECT blood choke on me. Absolutely picture perfect.
I sort of kept saying, in my confusion "I'm ok! I'm ok!" and shook her hand and kind of stumbled off the mat.
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Me, laughing in utter confusion after taking a nice nap on the mat (my opponent was really nice about it!)
Later on, I realized: we were actually supposed to go to a fourth overtime round! We both submitted to a triangle (if you lose consciousness, that counts as a tap!), and I believe the ref was actually asking me if I wanted to continue. Hand to heart, I'm not trying to save face, I just didn't realize it at all, in my complete confusion. I accidentally forfeited by walking off, lol. I seriously had no idea, and honestly, it was probably better that I didn't try to do another round THAT confused.
But still, that is absolutely going to be something I kick myself about, for forever. Just being THAT CLOSE.
By the way, I will say: it was the second time losing consciousness in jiu jitsu (and the first time... I'm not sure I was all the way out, this time I absolutely was) — it doesn't hurt. I'm not saying it's pleasant or great, exactly, it's very, very disorienting, because you actually start to dream a bit and have NO IDEA where you are for a few. But I would rather that than a broken arm or a torn ACL, so, as things happen on the mat, really not a terrible experience.
Kirsten deserves all the respect in the world — she put me out, and FAST (I had no idea how fast until Viki told me, lol. I sure thought I was fighting it for much longer!). She was wonderful to compete with, and I felt we were very evenly matched and got the best out of one another. I chatted with her afterward and we both complimented one another.
Overall, I'm proud of how hard I fought. I know that, in competition, I have absolutely defeated my self before, and gotten so discouraged. It's never conscious, I will always push, I will always mechanically force myself to get back up and get back out. Always. But mentally, in the past, I've really fucked myself.
Yesterday, I vowed to stay patient, and I actually did. I stuck to a gameplan fully: patience, defense, attacking whenever I saw or felt an opportunity. I actually feel, for the first time, that I did my best out there, the best I can do with my jiu jitsu right now, at 4.5 years of training, as a blue belt with one stripe.
That is a wildly unfamiliar feeling. Every other time I've competed, I've come out with at least a few things that were "holy christ, I am terrible at X and need to work on Y." The only other slight exception was the sub only tournament I got my first-ever medals at (silver in both) where I legitimately shocked myself. Even then, I had a couple of specific things I needed to work on (ankle lock defense! I still think about it!)
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I'm a little bit beat up today (that armbar I thought I was out of, then got caught right at the last second? I tapped on time, but "on time" with adrenaline is "a tiny bit late" so it hurts like hell today), and will probably just do cardio for a few days to take time to heal up before going back to grappling. But I feel really proud. I feel good about it. I feel stupid as hell for accidentally forfeiting, but overall very pleased with the day.
Where do I go from here? Rubber guard, baby! I want to get *great* at rubber guard. And this has given me a huge boost to keep chipping away at gi, no matter how much I may hate it in the moment. Because I won yesterday, I do get a free invitation to the submission only worlds for this tournament, so, that's something I can think about...
But for now... I'm going to try and let the good parts sink in. Viki got me victory pizza last night, and holy shit, I don't know if anything has ever tasted so good :D
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things2mustdo · 4 years
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Last year I gave up my Krav Maga self-defense training when I was in the middle of changing jobs. I never picked it back up.
While I stay quite busy splitting my time between my three main sources of income, last month I began to feel like something was missing. I was getting too comfortable with my daily routine– bored, too.
So I decided to start training in martial arts again, this time signing up for a Muay Thai gym. It’s already reinvigorated my sense of drive across other areas of my life. Here are the top 5 reasons you should start a new hobby today.
1. It breaks up your current routine
As humans we search for a sense of regularity. We often find it in our daily activities.
For example, my days typically consist of working from home in the morning, primarily on my computer, lifting weights, and then training a few clients in the late afternoon and evening. I enjoy this routine, but flying on autopilot has its dangers.
You aren’t as sharp. Everything is too calculated and expected. By training  in Muay Thai every other day I have something new to look forward to. It also has changed my lifting routine, to accommodate for the added exercise and fatigue.
2. It pushes you outside of your comfort zone
When I stepped into the Muay Thai gym for the first time I didn’t know what to expect. It was a lot different than the place I used to train Krav Maga at– more serious, less friendly even.
The seasoned fighters looked at me with a sense of superiority. And they were superior. But rather than backing down, being nervous, and quitting after one day– I took this as a challenge.
I was far from comfortable training that day. I wasn’t able to execute crisp Thai kicks or jump rope like a boss.  But being too comfortable can be a bad thing. You’ll cease to explore new opportunities and your growth with falter across the board.
By throwing yourself at something new, that you’re inexperienced at, you’ll be pushed outside of your comfort zone. This is a good thing. You must stay accustomed to living at the edge of your comfort zone to ensure steady growth and progress.
3. You’ll learn new skills
This point is obvious. By taking Muay Thai, I’ll learn a host of new fighting skills.
4. It gives you a new area to set goals for
The habit of setting and achieving goals is the most important habit a man can build. By entering into a new hobby, you now have a whole new area of your life that where you can practice setting and accomplishing goals.
For my Muay Thai experience I’ll start small. My first goal is to be able to execute a Thai kick with my left and have it feel as natural as with my right. I’ll work my way up to bigger goals as I improve.
This is the beauty of starting at something from scratch. At first you’ll set one small goal after another. This cycle will build momentum, and before you know it, you’ll no longer be a novice. More importantly, this momentum will carry over to other areas of your life and give you the confidence to crush more and bigger goals.
5. You’ll meet new people
Another obvious point. When you try something new, you’re bound to meet new people. Whether these turn out to be man friends or cute girls depends on the hobby you choose, but either way meeting new people is always a positive thing.
Potential Hobbies
I’ll leave you with a short list of potential hobbies for you to try today:
1. Martial arts/self-defense: Muay Thai, Brazilian Ju-Jitsu, Krav Maga 2. Cooking 3. Salsa Dancing 4. Lifting weights (you should already be doing this) 5. Yoga 6. Writing 7. Mountain Biking
Check out my new #1 Amazon Bestseller, The Book of Alpha. It’s full of direct, actionable advice for the man who wants to better himself.
Read Next: 5 Reasons To Learn Krav Maga
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Krav Maga is a self-defense system created based upon the street fighting skills of Hungarian-Israeli martial artist Imi Lichtenfeld. He used it to defend the Jewish quarter where he lived against fascist groups in the 1930s. Later, in the 40s he moved to Israel and began to offer combat training lessons to what later became the IDF (Israeli Defense Forces). The IDF has used, and continued to develop the system to this day.
The basic principle of Krav Maga is inflicting maximum damage to the opponent(s) in order to end the fight as quickly as possible. Brutal counter-attacks using your most effective tool (knees, elbows, weapons, etc.) to target your opponent’s weakest area (neck, throat, eyes, knees, ribs, solar plexus, groin, etc.) are the focus. For this reason, it is not a competitive martial arts, like Brazilian Ju-Jitsu or Muay Thai, because people would die.
When I heard that Jason Bourne uses Krav Maga (which I later found out was, in fact, not true) and that it teach gun defenses (i.e. the most alpha technique ever), I immediately signed up. I just finished 6 months of training. It is indeed awesome. Here are the top 5 reasons you should sign up for classes today:
1. You will become a badass.
Nothing boosts confidence and testosterone levels like knowing you are legitimately prepared for whatever. Very few people have any formal self-defense or fight training. As a result, in tense situations where most people lose it, you will keep your cool. If something ever does go down, you’re ready.
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2. It is practical and intuitive.
Most martial arts are strongly based in ritual, and as a result often incorporate different forms or strange techniques. Krav is different. Brutal efficiency is the only concern. For this reason, many of the strikes and defenses utilize the same basic motion (e.g. the straight punch and many of the defenses against punches and knives). Moreover, all of the techniques are built upon the body’s natural instincts (e.g. bringing your hands to your neck during a choke defense).
3. It is great exercise.
Between the drills themselves and the conditioning, you are guaranteed a hell of a workout. Three minutes of throwing punches or knee strikes is exhausting. So is three minutes of burpees. Side note: The level 1 Krav test was the single most intense physical event of my life. Seriously. Three hours straight of punches, kicks, choke defenses, and groundwork is no joke. I consider myself to be is great shape and I almost vomited on multiple occasions.
4. It relieves stress.
Sure, so do most workouts, but pounding a kicking shield, or throwing your partner to the floor is a whole different ball game.
5. It is the perfect hobby.
I came to my first class with no idea how to throw a proper punch. After a couple weeks I thought I was Jason Bourne. After a couple months I realized that I wasn’t. After 6 months I look back and I am amazed at the progress I made. Experiencing this progress is extremely satisfying.
Clearly taking up Krav Maga has many benefits. One word of caution – make sure you train somewhere with certified, experienced instructors. I have seen locations that turn it into a strictly cardio exercise experience, with little focus on technique – not good. So go take advantage of that free first class, now.
Check out my new #1 Amazon Bestseller, The Book of Alpha. It’s full of direct, actionable advice for the man who wants to better himself.
Read More: The Only 2 Things A Man Can Depend On
I was born alone and I will die alone. I’ve got to do what’s right for me and not live my life the way anybody else wants it.
– Curtis Jackson
If life were a board game, you’d be the game piece.
In reality, life isn’t much different from a game. There isn’t a defined end goal, however. You get to choose it. It could be power and respect. It could simply be happiness. Or it could be more specific: money or women, for example. Whatever it is, you choose.
In a board game there are strict limitations. In life, we’re encouraged to follow laws and social norms, but for the most part we’re free to do as we choose. There are infinite paths that will take you to any goal imaginable.
Along the way you’ll deal with many people. Some will help you, others won’t. You can grow to depend on the ones that help you, but that always incurs a risk. A family member can die. A close friend can betray you. Your girl can leave you. How will you react when one of these things happens?
Playing with others is a necessary part of the game. But never depend on them. Doing so will ultimately lead to failure and disappointment.
Accept that the only two things you can ever count on are your body and your mind– your game piece. You must tend to these things like a gardener tends to his plants. Focus on improving them and facilitating their health and growth and you’ll always put yourself in the best position to win.
If some tragedy befalls a dependent man, he may sink into depression. He might feel like he’s lost all hope of accomplishing his mission in life. He might give up.
A truly independant man, however, will not. He’s prepared, on some level, for each of these tragedies. He doesn’t have a specific game plan for when his best friend betrays him, per se. But he’s put himself in a good position, both physically and mentally, that he can weather the storm. Not only can he weather the storm, but he can keep his cool and make the fine adjustments needed to get the ship back on course.
Below I’ll offer the basic tasks one must do to protect his game piece, and see it thrive.
1. Your Body
If you take care of your body, it will be strong and healthy. It will also help foster a potent mind. Yes, there’s always the rare risk of contracting some form of cancer or another deadly disease, but if you follow the steps below, you all but rule these things out.
1. Eat good food
I won’t go into specifics, because everyone’s diet will, and should, be different.
But if you focus your diet around meat, fruits, and vegetables your body will flourish. Meat provides the protein and amino acids your body needs to grow. The fruits and vegetables provide the fiber and vitamins you need to function over the long run. A man with a solid diet will respond better to stress, and therefore be more self reliant.
2. Lift weights
In short, lifting weights develops a strong nervous, muscular, and skeletal system. These are the three main systems that run your body. An efficient body is like a strong ship– it will weather the storm better and be far more dependable in your journey.
The most brutally simple and effective lifting program is StrongLifts 5×5. It focuses on building strength across the five most basic movements humans are meant to do (squat, deadlift,  bench press, row, and overhead press).
2. Your Mind
You must also foster a capable mind. One that can stand on it’s own two feet. The strongest body won’t accomplish anything without an equally impressive mind.
1. Read books
Reading a book is like absorbing another man’s lifelong wisdom. The more books you read, the more you’ll know and the wiser you’ll be. Blogs are okay, but the average quality of a blog post is decidedly lower than what you find in a book. People simply put more time, effort, and value into books.
The knowledge you acquire in books also contributes to your self reliance. It offers quality wisdom and advice– that can’t be taken away from you.
2. Meditate
Meditation is the act of being comfortable being alone. When you meditate, you remove all of the outside noise. All of the thoughts, gossip, music, news, women, men, business, sex– everything. You are left with only yourself.
Many men can’t stand meditation because they’ve grown dependant on all of this external stimulation. They aren’t comfortable in their own skin. And thus they’ve lost their edge, their self reliance.
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geesecrow04833 · 4 years
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danielletinybruiser · 3 years
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Two Years of Blue
It's been a bit since I updated here, since I suppose I mainly use my instagram account to talk about jiu jitsu. But hey, I have a few things to mull over, which tends to go better in writing, so here we are. Content warning for weight on this one.
I've been a blue belt for two years! And what a wild two years — I did change up my gym, and then, hey, there was this pandemic that ground the world to a halt (and is still doing so). I was very, very lucky, since I was able to train with Viki pretty much the whole time. We had access to mats, and were able to train, and they taught me a great deal: a lot of gi stuff, a ton of leg locks (I never went for them, or defended them well, until I basically just rolled with them for a year), and so much detail in passing and retaining guard.
Viki is a long, lanky blue belt, and I like to think I taught them a bit too. Maybe. 
But of course, even with rolling during lockdown and tons of other cross-training, it took me awhile — really, a few months — to feel a bit more in the groove with jiu jitsu again. We started going back to limited, vaxxed sessions starting in March, and slowly started going back to the gym normally as everyone else got vaxxed up. I'm finally going 3-4 days per week, consistently. This past week, I think I trained grappling every day aside from Wednesday. It's mid-July, which means it's taken me that whole time to feel like I'm getting there.
I'm also competing again in just under two weeks, which has (as it typically does) lit a little fire under me to get my shit together. Or attempt to!
One thing that did help, certainly, was doing a lot of cardio the whole time, and  focusing on getting that to a good place. All winter I did a lot of running, and yes, here it is... a lot of indoor cycling on a [cough, whisper] peleton. I know this makes me a bougie asshole. I know. But the workouts — on the bike and very much on the treadmill — are actually great. The running workouts with at least two of the coaches are appropriate for actual competitive runners. I've done workouts there that were extremely close to things I did as a competitive XC athlete in college. Back when I was actually fast. Fast-ish. I'm not fast anymore. Not even a tiny bit.
But my running is much improved, and the cycling has been an incredible, incredible base for me. I'm routinely doing longer or more challenging rides on non-BJJ days, and then often a shorter ride (or one of the functional strength routines) on days I roll at the gym. My whole thing with it is doing hard cardio when I'm already tired, so I get very used to pushing through. Endurance has never been my problem, but I know that I get slower physically — and, far worse, *super* discouraged mentally — when I get tired.
Doing this much cycling has had a hilarious and, uh, probably obvious side effect: I actually put on a little bit of muscle. I went into the whole Peleton thing thinking "yeah, I'll do cardio twice a day, and lose that stubborn couple of pounds that make competing at 125 dicey in like a month, easy!" and, HA. No. 
What I did get, though, are leg muscles that don't fatigue as fast. I have much more power and energy than I used to, and, hand-to-heart, I don't think I was in bad shape before. It's just... better now.
That took a couple of weeks to accept, I'll be honest. I felt pretty dumb: of fucking course spending... let's say 8 hours a week doing HIIT or climb rides on a bike would build muscle. I’d gain some weight from that, naturally. But now, I'm honestly thrilled to feel comfortable and much stronger at 135 anyway. 
That's where I was always going to be for grappling industries (where there's a 120 and a 135, nothing in between), and where there are 125 lb classes... it's honestly ok. I have a healthy diet, I stick to it rigorously (with the occasional cheat day, ofc), I do cardio almost every day, and I feel good. Will I be a little shortie in this weight class? Of course! But at least I feel like a stronger little shortie, and that's what counts.
As with all of this, let me be clear, I have no delusions of grandeur. This is an awesome hobby that I'm obsessed with! But I only want to compete to learn and get better and do it all on a pretty comfortable level. I'm probably never going to fuck with the open IBJJF tournaments, or anything like that. Give me a nice submission-only tournament for scrubs like me. (Honestly, I wish everything was just submission only. Forever.)
There are actual, legit athletes who use the baby tournaments for a tune-up, and young folks who may become legit athletes who are learning to compete and deal with pressure, probably just because this is NYC and there are world-class gyms here and all that. This 37-year-old goofy white bitch just wants to get as good as possible, given the obvious constraints. And enjoy myself.
To this end, my friends, coaches, and training partners deserve medals for dealing with me. Berto and Jaime (my friends and coaches) have been patiently leading me towards things I need to work on. Viki will roll with me and give me things I need to do based on our roll, and we'll drill them right then and there. And Caroline has been instrumental in me getting my head at least part of the way out of my ass, just going for things. For months, I was rolling, but just playing defense. Just talking to her about it helped, and now, every time we roll, I have that voice in my head telling me to go for things. It's helping.
I just hope I can keep that in mind in two weeks. I get nervous. Really, really nervous. I've competed... this might be nine times? This will be my third blue belt tournament, anyway, and it'll be the first since... January 2020. My head is usually so far up my ass — especially at first — that I will probably make some dumbass mistakes. But I'm working on accepting that I'll feel like an idiot and to just have fun with it and use it to LEARN and find some new things to work on. Embrace the doofus and enjoy.  
Gym Feelings
I also got very, very excited about my gym yesterday. Right before going to a (fantastic) Women/trans/non-binary folks Judo class taught by a really great woman black belt, I went on about how much I love my gym. How inclusive it is, and how, just *not a toxic MMA culture* place it is. I'm just going to copy a bunch of that thread here, just absolutely gushing about Chop and Chops:
Today, in a couple of hours, I'm going to a women/trans/nonbinary grappling class at my gym, taught by a woman Judo black belt. I'm PUMPED.
It's really important to me that my MMA gym is an inclusive, positive environment for me and for everyone. MMA -- and especially Jiu Jitsu -- does NOT need to be a place dominated by bros with awful politics and horrific tattoos. It can be for anyone to enjoy.
The door to my gym has a trans-inclusive rainbow flag on it. The brothers who run it make sure that all women, trans folks, enbies, and any GNC folks feels especially comfortable and have dependable training partners for each class, especially if they are new.
Here's another thing -- its' an MMA gym, there are plenty of cis dudes! But said dudes are respectful and gracious. I feel safe training with them BECAUSE of the atmosphere and attitude of the place, that's certainly not true everywhere.
One of my favorite training partners rn is a very, very sweet bigger white belt due who wrestled at a high level. If you've done BJJ, "bigger white belt who wrestled" is typically the scariest thing. But he is an absolute gentleman, doesn't just throw his weight around...
he is conscientious and I am learning SO MUCH from rolling with him. Again, in another atmosphere, I might be intimidated. In our gym, people learn to train hard but modulate and always respect their training partners.
I know I'm gushing at this point, lol. But I really can't overstate how much that atmosphere of respect and inclusivity is important and makes a massive difference. I'm a small queer woman, training there simply feels great to me, and that's everything.
That's the thread! I can't say enough good things about this place. It's also honestly a refuge for me, a place where I see my friends (where we all hug very aggressively for a couple hours, then chitchat). I guess it all comes down to this: I'm so, so lucky to be a part of this community. I want everyone in the world to have something they love, and amazing people to support them in it/enjoy it with them.
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bcthetruth · 4 years
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Mythical Matchup: Conor vs Khabib
Originally written in August 3, 2018 for Combat Docket
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It has been a long time coming but the UFC lightweight championship bout between newly crowned champion Khabib Nurmagomedov and Conor McGregor is finally upon us. The highly anticipated contest was expected to happen on multiple occasions while McGregor held the title, but for one reason or another, it never came to fruition. Now the two once in a lifetime athletes are set to fight at UFC 229 in Las Vegas. It is rare we get a title matchup with so many different variables that can lead to victory or defeat for both competitors. Here I will explore what both incredibly gifted lightweight fighters will need to do and avoid to emerge victorious on October 6.
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In the clip above you see Khabib getting blasted with a straight left from Michael Johnson as he moves in. Like McGregor, Johnson is a southpaw fighter so this is the same situation Khabib will find himself in when he shares a cage with the brash Irishman at UFC 229. Khabib’s nonstop pressure breaks his opponents more often than not. With that said, McGregor is great fighting off the back foot and countering fighters who move forward, which could work against Khabib aswell. The power, accuracy, and killer instinct of Conor McGregor gives him a better chance to finish Khabib than Michael Johnson had should he land a strike like the one in the gif below:
Every fight starts on the feet and It would be an understatement to say that this heavily favors former lightweight and featherweight champion Conor McGregor. While current undisputed lightweight champion Khabib Nurmagomedov possesses a highly underrated striking attack, trying to kickbox with McGregor would be a fatal mistake. Offensively Khabib is known as a grappler, but he can be very unpredictable. He has a solid uppercut that he landed numerous times against Michael Johnson at UFC 205. Defensively Khabib uses a stance similar to that of Floyd Mayweather with his left typically protecting the lower body and his right protecting the head. While this works for him sometimes, he is no Floyd Mayweather and shots get through often enough to leave him in trouble against superior strikers.
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This straight left by Conor McGregor started a sequence that would end tough Philadelphia native Eddie Alvarez in the second round. This fight is a great example for the contest with Khabib Nurmagomedov. Like Alvarez, the Russian powerhouse has a tendency to rush in with his strikes and rarely move backward as he looks to eventually get a takedown off of any little mistake made. However, this isn’t all bad news for the undefeated champion. While moving forward and looking for big punches didn’t bode well for former lightweight king Eddie Alvarez, it did help him initiate the clinch, where Khabib Nurmagomedov is absolutely dominant.
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The clip above shows Alvarez rushing in and getting clipped by a punch, however, he ended up with a clinch up against the octagon cage. While Conor was able to effectively defend against anything Alvarez wanted to do in the clinch, he faces a whole new animal when he steps into the cage with Khabib Nurmagomedov. Sure, Khabib can get traditional takedowns by shooting from the outside. However, the clinch game is really his bread and butter and if Khabib can successfully initiate a clinch the way Alvarez did it is safe to say McGregor will be unable to stop him from getting the fight to the mat and negating any chance for McGregor to land one of his devastating knockout punches.
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As you see above when Khabib gets Michael Johnson against the fence he ties Johnson’s right leg up with his left leg and launches him to his left side before securing the top position with a trip. This is just one of the many tricks that Nurmagomedov can use to get an opponent down while inside the clinch. The sambo and wrestling specialist possesses a multitude of trips and slams that form a very technical clinch game that has been nearly impossible to stop in his 26-fight career. It is safe to assume that Michael Johnson is a better wrestler than Conor McGregor and he had absolutely nothing for Khabib in that department.
If this fight ends up on the mat then the general consensus is that Conor McGregor will be done. While this isn’t necessarily true for the Irishman, Nurmagomedov is a special talent on the ground. Contrary to popular belief, Conor McGregor isn’t terrible on the mat like some would suggest. When fresh he was able to sweep a very talented BJJ black belt in Nate Diaz. In some ways, Khabib’s advantage on the ground is similar to Conor’s advantage on the feet. Khabib Nurmagomedov is not a bad striker despite what you may hear, but if he strikes with Conor McGregor he is likely to end the fight sleeping on the mat. Similarly, if Conor McGregor ends up on his back, he is in all likelihood going to end up catching a severe beating and losing either by TKO or submission.
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A smaller, less powerful wrestler in Chad Mendes was able to take McGregor down and pound on him for the better part of five minutes whilst on short notice. To his credit, McGregor was able to survive that beating and end a tired Chad Mendes in the second round with accurate and powerful punches and kicks. This fight showed that on his back Conor McGregor can not only be controlled but he can also be thoroughly pounded at the same time. Unfortunately for Chad, his inability to keep that pace saw him too tired to repeat that performance in the next round and allowed McGregor to secure what was at the time his biggest career win. Khabib Nurmagomedov, on the other hand, has a phenomenal cardiovascular ability.
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The impeccable ground attack of Nurmagomedov is relentless. He put a nonstop, hellacious beating on Johnson at UFC 200 by easily outwrestling him and smashing him from dominant positions. It is difficult to believe that Conor McGregor will be able to accomplish on the mat or in the clinch what Rafael Dos Anjos and Michael Johnson couldn’t. Khabib was able to thoroughly out grapple accomplished grapplers and he did so with relative ease barely breaking a sweat and talking to UFC president Dana White in between rounds as well as his opponents during rounds.
This fight is the classic striker vs. grappler matchup taken to a whole new level. Conor has shown an uncanny ability to out strike great strikers and end his fights in incredible fashion. Khabib has been able to dominate wrestlers in wrestling and jiu-jitsu practitioners on the mat. Whats makes this fight so interesting is the fact that these two are the absolute best at what they do making for what is truly one of the most intriguing fights ever made. When these two finally do share the cage at UFC 229 it will come down to execution. Both men have shown a great ability to implement their game against every opponent they have faced, and now they will have to do it once again, but this time against each other.
X-Factor
Both of these men have something that make them special. Aside from being able to outstrike his opponents, Conor McGregor has devastating knockout power in his hands. This is his clear X-Factor when he fights. His confidence comes from knowing that even when he is losing he doesn’t need much more than a few carefully chosen shots to win a fight. You can see it after his tough first round with Chad Mendes. Instead of being frustrated, McGregor laughs in his face and smiles all the way back to his stool. It speaks to his confidence in his fight finishing ability, and so does his 86% knockout ratio.
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The X-Factor for Khabib Nurmagomedov has to be his strength. It is all anybody seems to talk about when they train with him. Current light heavyweight and heavyweight champion Daniel Cormier even marvels at the sheer strength of Nurmagomedov. I guess wrestling bear cubs as a child really does have its perks. When he fights his otherworldly strength is apparent, as you see him manhandling fighters who are generally difficult to bully. His ability to throw around high-level wrestlers and hold down high-level grapplers shows an uncanny level of dominance that is has thus far been proven difficult to overcome for anybody who stands across from him.
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Conor McGregor vs. Khabib Nurmagomedov is easily one of the most intriguing fights in MMA history. Two guys who are so dominant in one aspect of the game creates a true 50/50 gamble. If Conor can successfully use his footwork, speed, timing, and accuracy to find the mark with his devastating left hand then he will leave with another dramatic, career-defining win. If Khabib manages to secure the clinch position he will take this fight to the mat, and if Khabib gets the fight down his relentless attack, outstanding cardio, and unparalleled grappling will see him walk away from UFC 229 the victor. On October 6 the Irish Lion and Russian Bear will enter the UFC octagon for their long-awaited battle in Las Vegas in a fight that could be the biggest fight the UFC has ever put together.
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alienspawnwrites · 4 years
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Laying Hands: Chapter 11
Read on AO3
Vigilance or Voyeurism
Althea was far from what any normal person would describe as “fit”, let alone up to the high standards of the Avengers.
She was, of course, healthy. Her ability automatically saw to that. But she had spent nearly half her life merely shuffling from one room to another, never exerting herself beyond the limited physical activity required of her. It hadn’t always been that way, she recalled. There had been a time in her youth, before the accident, when she had even been on her school’s track team, encouraged by her coach to make use of her long legs for events like hurdles and long jumping, but that was no more than a vague memory to her now. If her mind had only a slight recollection of what it was like to be physically active, her body had forgotten entirely.
She finished her last lap of the facility, nearly collapsing beside where Natasha waited. Doubled over with her hands on her knees, Althea sucked air into her starved lungs and tried to ignore the pooling sweat on her brow.
Natasha’s expression was patient as she waited for Althea to regain her breath. It was a few moments before she was able to stand up straight, wincing at the burning muscles in her legs.
“Not bad,” Nat commended with a small smile once Althea was able to look her face to face.
Still panting, Althea chuckled. “You don’t have to lie to me.”
“She’s right. You shouldn’t lie to her. That was abysmal.”
With narrowed eyes, both women looked over to where Loki sat splayed out a bench a few feet away. He took in Althea’s thoroughly flushed and gleaming face with obvious amusement.
For the past three days, Loki had been Althea’s near-constant shadow. She might have been glad for the company if it weren’t for his stubborn refusal to engage in any sort of conversation. At first, she’d thought he was merely embarrassed after their previous talk in the lounge, but after the entire day passed with only terse responses to her questions or barbed insults in her direction from Loki, she began to think there was more to it.
The second day was more of the same. After countless attempts to engage him, she’d finally snapped and asked him why he was following her around.
“I told you. I’m going to figure you out,” he’d told her simply.
“And what, you can’t talk to me and observe me at the same time?”
“I have nothing to say to you.”
Althea could only blink in response. Loki had never been her friend, per se, but circumstances had made him the closest person to her. His sudden change in attitude stung. It didn’t seem wise to push the subject though, so she’d tried her best to ignore his silent presence. She was used to constant surveillance, though the growing similarities between her new life and her time with HYRDA unsettled her.
The smile fell from Althea’s face, but Natasha simply shook her head.
“Don’t listen to him. Come on, let’s do some stretches. Then we’ll start training.”
“Start?” Althea turned to her instructor in disbelief. “What was all the running if it wasn’t training?”
Behind her, she heard Loki’s low chuckle.
Even Natasha couldn’t keep her amusement hidden. Smirking, she started towards the center of the room. “That was cardio. Come on, we’ve got a lot of work to do.”
“I’ll say,” Loki muttered just loud enough for Althea to hear. She shot him a withering look before following after Natasha.
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Loki watched Althea’s pathetic attempts at throwing a punch from his spot on the sidelines, watching for anything that would speak to her magic or its source. Just like the past few days, she remained remarkably… unremarkable. He felt her magic surge after a particularly poorly thrown punch that had no doubt resulted in a broken wrist, but it was small and short-lived. For the most part, it simply sat dormant, still curiously contained but otherwise unexceptionable.
Following her had proven as tedious as it was fruitless, made even more so by her persistent efforts to draw him into conversation.
He’d considered using invisibility to tail her unseen but decided against it in the end. He wanted her to know that he was there. His pride demanded it. He wanted her to see he could not be broken so easily.
Her magic slightly pulsed again as she failed to block a kick to her shin, automatically healing the broken capillaries that might have otherwise resulted in a nasty bruise.
If she was aware of his vigilant magical surveillance, she didn’t show it. He’d been cautious about it at first, watching nervously as her skin erupted in goosebumps as his magic made contact, but she had simply brushed them off with a casual remark about the building’s air conditioning. Now that he felt confident she was ignorant of his aura’s presence, he’d maintained a constant vigilance of the magic coursing through her body.
Other than the occasional, small, accidental injury, she never utilized it. Perhaps she was just being cautious in his presence. If so, it was time to change tactics. He resolved to start observing her more secretively the next day.
The two women trained for three hours in all before Natasha finally released Althea. Natasha threw Loki one last, suspicious look before leaving. Althea lingered, waiting until Natasha was gone before turning to him.
“Well?”
He met her expectant gaze. “Well, what?”
“Learn anything?”, she pressed. No. “Yes.”
Althea’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Really? What?”
There was a touch of hope in question that surprised him. Did she really think he would discover something about her that she did not already know? It’s just another act, he assured himself.
“You are terrible at this,” he snarked.
She sighed. Loki noted the minute slump of her shoulders. “If that’s all you’ve got after stalking me for three days then you’re not very good at this.”
The truth of her statement caused him to bristle, but he kept his face impassive. “Or perhaps you are simply not interesting after all.”
She huffed at that. “What I wouldn’t give for that to be true.”
She drew her arms back, stretching her shoulders. Loki did his best to ignore the way her chest pushed forward as she did so.
“Over a decade with those HYDRA assholes and now I’m not even allowed to leave this building until I can prove to Steve that I can defend myself because they might be waiting to snatch me up again, which at this rate I’ll never be able to do. All because I’m interesting.”
Loki did his best to hide his surprise, not that he thought the rambling woman before him would notice. The fact that Althea wasn’t permitted to leave was news to him. He’d figured there was a more mundane reason behind her time spent indoors, such as disinterest or fear.
The tears she’d shed the other day suddenly made sense.
She shook her head dejectedly before addressing the floor by her feet. “I wish I didn’t have this stupid ability. It’s brought me nothing but pain and misery.” Her voice was quiet but bitter.
Loki fought the urge to comfort her, frustrated that the thought occurred to him at all. Instead, he chose to point out the obvious. “If it weren’t for your ability, you’d be dead along with your parents.”
Her entire countenance changed at the mention of her parents. She stood frozen, every muscle stiff. Even her breathing, ragged from the day’s exertion, seemed to stop entirely. Her eyes, still locked on the ground, grew distant and unfocused, shining with the threat of tears.
He’d unintentionally hit a nerve. Usually, he’d be pleased with himself, happy for ammunition he could make use of later, but to his chagrin, he found her reaction made him feel regret rather than satisfaction. He felt for her magic, looking for any sign she was the source of this unexpected remorse, but there was no observable change.
He tried to decide whether he should apologize or change the subject, but she spoke up first.
“You’re right.” She inhaled deeply, the action loosening her tight stance. “You know, maybe it sounds conceited, but sometimes I think there’s a reason I survived that crash. A reason I have this ability. I thought it gave me purpose, back when it seemed like I was actually helping the people they made me heal. Now I have a chance to really do something, to do good, and here I am: complaining about it.” She let out a mirthless chuckle. “God, how selfish is that?”
It was the most selfless thing Loki had ever heard.
She looked up to meet his gaze. Her hazel eyes, almost golden in the bright fluorescent light of the training room, were bright, the mistiness of unshed tears giving way to fiery determination. “I needed to hear that. Thank you, Loki.” She offered him a small smile and turned to leave.
For the first time in days, Loki did not follow her.
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When Althea awoke the next morning, she was surprised by just how… normal she felt. She’d expected to feel the side effects of the previous day’s intense workout, but her muscles felt fine. Apparently her ability prevented her muscles from staying sore for very long, leaving her feeling nothing short of invigorated. A fresh wave of shame washed over her as she remembered how she had, just yesterday, complained about her power to Loki.
Loki. Once again she pondered his strange behavior over the past few days. Despite his near-constant presence, she found herself missing him, or at least the version of him she’d gotten glimpses of before his sudden change in demeanor. He’d always been cold and distant, but he’d taken it to new heights. She even missed his acerbic wit, even if he did have a tendency to use it against her.
Had she done something to upset him? Their last real conversation had been tense, sure, but she hadn’t pushed him. Besides, he’d brought up the subject himself. Maybe she was missing something. Or maybe she’d simply been naive to think that they’d been approaching something akin to friendship.
She took a deep breath before opening her door, preparing herself for another day of being tailed by the silent, surly god.
For the first time in days, he wasn’t waiting for her outside her door this morning. She looked up and down the hallway, conflicted. Should she wait for him? Perhaps he’d actually deemed her too uninteresting to shadow any longer and given up his constant vigil.
She rubbed her arms, chasing away the goosebumps that seemed to plague her any time she left her room. Tony seemed to have turned up the air conditioning to compensate for the last heatwave of summer. Althea wondered who she had to talk to to get a warmer wardrobe for the rapidly approaching colder months.
It was silly to even consider waiting around for Loki, she decided, and set off towards the elevator. It wasn’t like she’d be hard to find if indeed he did intend to keep “studying” her.
She had a few hours before she was scheduled to meet Natasha in the training room for her next session. After grabbing a quick breakfast of grapefruit and berries, she headed upstairs to take up her usual post in the lounge. To her surprise, both Tony and Steve were already there, apparently waiting for her.
“There she is!”, Tony exclaimed, hopping up from his seat at the bar, an elaborately garnished Bloody Mary in hand.
Steve followed suit, standing up with less enthusiasm. He did not share Tony’s choice in morning drink, instead cradling a steaming cup of coffee.
“How are you feeling, Althea? I heard Nat really put you through the paces yesterday.” Steve’s expression was one of friendly concern.
“Actually, I feel surprisingly fine,” she told him, stretching both of her arms across her chest in turn for emphasis.
Tony didn’t seem shocked. “Of course you do. Minute tears in the muscle fiber and irritation caused by the build-up of lactic acid are what cause muscle soreness in regular folks. But that’s all small potatoes for you, kid,” he rattled off knowledgeably.
“Well, I’m just glad it’s going well so far. Keep up the good work and you’ll be out of here in no time,” Steve offered her an encouraging smile.
Althea was about to return the gesture when a noise behind her made her spin on her heels. She looked around for the source, but there was nothing there. Strange, it’d almost sounded like…
“Everything okay?”
She turned back to see both men looking at her quizzically.
Althea shook her head, chasing away the thought. Her mind must be playing tricks on her.
“Yeah, sorry, I just,” she cast another quick glance at the empty room behind her. “I thought I heard something.”
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It was pointless. Whether Althea knew he was there or not, it made no difference. If there was something to be learned about her magic, he wouldn’t discover it through passive observation.
It was frustrating, not having any answers, but not nearly as frustrating as the realization that he may, in fact, have been wrong about her. True, she had a disconcerting ability to draw him out of his shell, but he was beginning to doubt it had anything to do with her magic. His hubris had made such a mundane explanation feel impossible, but it was becoming impossible to deny. It wasn’t the workings of some undetectable, powerful magic. It was just her.
He’d be better off avoiding her entirely.
The problem was, he just couldn’t seem to stay away.
He wanted to be around her, wanted to talk to her, even though doing so meant he was likely to slip up and reveal more than he meant to. It’d been difficult, not acknowledging her over the past few days. He hadn’t really succeeded either, in the end. It’d been even harder following her in silence. Again, he hadn’t been very successful, unable to hold in a sigh of displeasure as he listened to the condescending way Captain America and the Iron Man spoke of Althea’s training.
Did they not realize how much the promise of leaving this building meant to her? Steve spoke of freedom like one who’d never been denied it. It wasn’t right to hinge something so important on such an impossible task. She could not possibly be expected to perform up to their standards in combat.
The opportunity to undermine his self-righteous jailers was just too enticing to ignore, and Loki knew just how to do just that. The fact that it meant more time with Althea was merely an added benefit.
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shikastemari · 5 years
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— goal; shikatemadai. ࿐ྂ。
written for Shikadai Week 2019 | day 02 - betrayal
words | 1704
rating | K
warning | none
a/n | i have no clue where i was heading with this and i made this way more dramatic than it probably should’ve (honestly, there’s someone rubbing off on me a lot lately) but here it is. also, maybe, there’ll be a part two but who knows, i don’t really like doing those.  👀
masterlist in bio
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Shikadai never understood why the hell his parents cared so much about sports.
Yes, the two of them were respected shinobi, known worldwide by their actions in the last Shinobi War, but somehow, Shikadai doubt his father could run a mile without his smoker lungs taking a toll on him, and his mother, although incredibly talented, probably hadn’t cardio exercises as her strongest suit. 
So, the fact both were fanatic over football just made the young Nara head to hurt.
He didn’t even have to ask why both of them were arguing when he got home from school. Him being 12 years old, he had seen how argumentative both get every time a World Cup starts. Shikamaru always liked to point it out how weak Suna strategics to win games were, and Temari was a fan of showing how many times Konoha could lose opportunities to win the matches.
In other words, all of it was a real drag.
Shikadai tried to sneak in without making too much noise. If he wanted to reach his room, he would have to go through the living room, where the loud screams and curses were coming from. They were usually bad, but when the game was Konoha versus Suna? 
They were unbearable.
He was sure his father didn’t even like soccer that much, that he would do it just to piss his mom off. She was a huge fan since Shikadai could remember. The woman wanted him to learn how to kick before even learning the family jutsu’s, she was that obsessed.
“See? Your team sucks!” Temari’s cheerful voice reached his ear. Suna was probably winning if she was happy.
“Temari, we both know Suna’s goalkeeper suck. The penalties are about to start, we are still in the game,” Shikamaru retorted.
Passing through the living room, giving one quick glance to tv and he noticed the players getting together in a line, middle field. The game ended up in a tie, and now it was going straight for penalties. His parents would be hard to handle after it’s over.
“Shikadai, we didn’t see you there,” his father pointed out and the boy noticed too late he stopped to stare at the tv for too long. “Now that you are here, you can help me to put some sense into your mom’s head.”
“Dai, tell him our goalies are the best and we can totally crush his team,” Temari said, narrowing a copy of his own eyes to her husband.
Shikamaru had a cigarette on his lips, but it wasn’t lit. Temari imposed a very strict rule of no smoking inside the house. Shikadai knew it meant his father was nervous, not actually believing Konoha could win against Suna.
“Tem, the guy literally couldn’t defend a goal from Kiri. It was just terrible to watch, and you know that” Shikamaru looked at his son, waiting for some backup. He chose to remain in silence, though, earning a sigh from his father.
“It happens! It doesn’t mean he’s bad because he screwed up one time,” Temari argued.
“He did it against Iwa as well,” Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.
“He isn’t bad if he screwed up tw-”
“Remember when he-”
“OKAY!” She folded her arms against her chest, “I got it. Repeat one more time and I’ll tear your tongue out.”
Shikadai didn’t know how long it took from the end of the game to the penalty to start, but he was sure today was longer than usual. He did think of staying there until it started, although it would be too risky for him. There was one particular thing he was desperate to avoid.
“Who are you cheering for, Shikadai?” Shikamaru changed the attention to his kid.
And it was that exact question. Every single World Cup, Shikadai had been running away from choosing a team. As both of his parents looked at him with expectation, he felt the anxiety building up. How was he supposed to choose one of them? Why would they want for Shikadai to choose one?
He had tried before. “Both” and “none” never made a real effect and they never took it as an actual answer. “I don’t care about football” apparently wasn’t an answer good enough either. They tried hard not to push him, but deep down he knew they were eager for an answer.
“To whoever wins,” Shikadai shrugged. 
“Just tell your father you’re a Suna fan.”
“End your mom’s craziness and tell her the truth.”
“Craziness?”
That was how another fight started.
They kept arguing, although he was aware it wasn’t a real argument. Both could annoy the hell out of each other, but they would always go back to their usual self once the game was over. Shikadai would even risk saying they had a really fun dynamic. 
Shikadai risked another glance to the tv, the goalie from Suna and the opponent from Konoha were getting ready to start. Shikadai just sighed once before speaking.
“Suna won the World Cup 5 times,” he started and both of his parents turned to him, “y’a know they have a huge shot of winning also this one,” he said the last part looking at his father.
Temari smiled proudly, ready to tease Shikamaru when Shikadai kept going. 
“However,” Shikadai completed, “Konoha’s team is doing an amazing campaign this year. The attack is the best of the competition so far, and they have been destroying their opponents one by one. I think they’ll take this one.”
Both stayed silent and stared at their son, with his mouth agape. Not even his dad saw it coming. Only when Konoha scored the first goal, the couple came out of a trance. 
Shikamaru turned to say something to Temari, but stopped midway as he watched her hurt expression. Shikadai knew she must have been feeling a little betrayed and he hated he was the one causing it. He never wanted to stab any of his parents, but that was what his mom tried to hide with a sad smile.
She turned back to the television, waiting for Suna to have the next penalty, without saying a word. Shikamaru joined her, and the young Nara spotted when his old man covered her tiny hand with his own.
The path to Shikadai’s bedroom felt longer than usual. He couldn’t shake this bad feeling away for hurting his mom’s feelings. He threw a few curses at himself for not choosing to stay quiet. As soon as he reached the room, he realized there was a package over his bed.
Opening it carefully, Shikadai got himself looking at a Suna football team jersey. The shirt was beige and carried the simple shield on the right side, and behind there was his name, Nara Shikadai, in white with the number one.
Next to the bed, there was a little note with his mom handwriting. “You’re always my number one.”
The crack in Shikadai’s heart was almost audible, the weight on his heart getting worse and worse by second. He couldn’t understand why such sport could mean so much to her and he realized he never asked. Not once. While he was sure his father turned into a football fan after he met his mother, she had been on this road for a while.
Shikadai didn’t know much about her, he noticed. Not the woman behind the mom. The Temari before the marriage, before Konoha. He didn’t know her hobbies, or what she liked to do when she was young. He didn’t know about her past much, except both her parents died when she was pretty young. 
He felt terrible. As in, he failed her as a son, and as a human being. Every time they went to Suna, he was way more focused on playing with Shinki or asking his Uncles to show something cool with their jutsus.
Suddenly, Shikadai knew how to fix it. 
No clue how much time he got stuck in his room, lost in his thoughts. When he reached the living room, his parents weren’t there anymore. So, he followed to the next possible room. 
His mom sat on the kitchen table, reading a newspaper while his father was next to the oven, preparing something to eat. The scene in front of him was so unusual, it could only mean one thing.
Konoha lost.
Shikadai almost wanted to laugh, but he held it in. Again, his father was the first to spot him.
“Hungry? Hope you like ramen,” Shikamaru said and his son noticed there was a red spot on his pink apron. He couldn’t remember something red going on the ramen, but he decided not to mention it.
“Starving,” he replied, looking at his mom now, who stared him back. “Did Suna win?”
“5-3.” She replied with a small smile, “one more time, Suna is the best in the world.”
“Speaking of which,” Shikadai blurted out, taking a deep breath. He didn’t know why he was so nervous. “I want to go there.”
“To where? The stadium?” Temari questioned.
“No, to Suna.”
“But you’ve been to Suna before,” his mom pointed out.
“Yes, but I never really paid too much attention to it, did I? I wanna get to know your favorite places, where you grew up, what you used to do when you weren’t kicking dad’s ass-”
“Language, young boy,” Shikamaru intervened and Shikadai doubted the interruption was due to the wording there.
“Anyway, just show me, teach me about Suna and your past,” Shikadai let out a breath. “What do you tell me?”
His mother just stared at him, completely inexpressive. He remembered his dad once saying she could hide emotions like no one, and Shikadai didn’t quite understand it until that moment. 
It was like he blinked and the next second, two arms were wrapped around him, pulling him into the tightest hug he had been to. He heard his mother sniffing next to him, and all he could do was to involve her back.
Over her shoulder, Shikadai spotted his father’s proud smile and the older Nara blinked back at him, approving of his way of fixing things, and that was when he realized, he had scored the biggest goal of the night.
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tessatechaitea · 4 years
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Justice Society of America #4 (1992)
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Ultrahumanite exhibits all the characteristics of a man happy to be reunited with friends: cheerily laughing, bright happy expression, hands on hips, weirdly-shaped massive hard-on.
Forgive me for the erect penis joke but I felt it was in the tradition of Grunion Guy. You might find it funny if you knew how uncomfortable it made me to type it and how worried I was for a second that my mother might see it. But then I realized that if my mom saw it, it would mean my mom read Grunion Guy's blog, and then I almost threw up. That would be so embarrassing! Normally I would be on the side of the Justice Society of America because they are the good people with the good values. But how good are their good values if they are trying to stop a job creator and upstanding corporate citizen like Ultrahumanite who is just trying to run his Ultragen business the best way he knows how: with stormtrooper bodyguards to defend labs where they experiment on animal-human hybrids? Anything that hurts corporate profits is a bad thing for capitalism and the Justice Society of America should know that, being that they have "America" right there in their name. Although they also have "Society" in their name and that is a bird whistle for socialists. The bird whistle is the dog whistle of the left because it is more pleasant to listen to and it isn't aggravating or obnoxious and it makes the world a better place for everybody (except people who hate birds and probably own guns to shoot those stupid birds. Stupid birds. So dumb).
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Oh no! Nobody warned these old timers that we aren't doing prison rape jokes anymore!
Wildcat has some great words of wisdom in that previous panel. It is the most scienciest science statement I have ever read (unless it was the mathiest math statement): "If X did not happen, Y would have happened! Thusly I have proved we are better than you! QED! In your face, Ultrahumanite!" Whenever I would lose a game of Dungeons & Dragons with my friends Bullpup and McGroover, I would say, "Oh yeah? Let's see you make a delicious sandwich!" Then they would back down and they would be all, "Yes, you are correct, Pickle Boy. You are the better friend with the most useful skills and we are only good at pretending to slaughter Kobold families for copper coins." That's pretty funny if you realize Dungeons & Dragons is about adventurers invading the lairs of creatures to steal their material possessions! Doctor Mid-Nite does not quip with the others because he might be dead. Do not forget these guys are really old! It does not matter how many muscles they have or what kind of cardio breathalyzer tests they can pass; they still have super old bones and a lifetime of clogged arteries. One slip or the slightest bit of extra exertion could mean Stroke City or Brokenhipsville for these cool cats! That is old person slang! It is very humorous!
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Now they goof on his stutter? I am beginning to wonder who the real villains are in this story!
Look how happy the Ultrahumanite is! And these old guys have been nothing but bitter, cynical old winds from the butt! Plus he is a successful businessman and scientist who has created life! It sounds like he has turned over a new leaf now that he no longer has to steal bodies. I am not ignoring the laboratory full of hybrid creatures; I'm just going to assume that they were all volunteers until it is proven otherwise. You cannot go through life never eating the buttered bread that fell on the floor buttered side down! Ultrahumanite decides to recount his past for some reason. This made me laugh because I was thinking, "Yeah! They are old men. They cannot remember stuff from so long ago and also they have enlarged prostates!"
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But which is actually worse: making fun of somebody's disability or sympathizing with Nazis? I've got some hard questions to answer!
Some things are unforgivable but one thing I think we can all agree to forgive is a hot woman who sided with the Nazis.
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How does a huge ape body reflect the Ultrahumanite's desires? Please do not answer, "He loves to copulate with monkeys," because that's what I an suggesting by the question and you would look like one of those fools on Twitter who thinks they are hilarious by restating somebody's joke in a less subtle manner.
Ultrahumanite continues to explain how he became such a pillar of the business community. It is as boring as you would expect a PowerPoint presentation from a business man would be. That was probably the joke! Why is not the trademarked name "PowerPoint" two words? If you are going to bother capitalizing the second "P", you might as well just separate the words. Maybe it was somebody's online name when they were fourteen years old. It is always a smart decision to just run the two words together rather than separating them with an underscore. And it is easier to read when the second word is capitalized (as opposed to every other word capitalized or just the consonants. I do not understand young people). Nobody remembers to put underscores in when searching for a name online!
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"Ultrahumanite! You are experimenting on innocent people, ruining the environment, causing unknown amounts of damage to the populace of every city where one of your labs operates but Ted Grant and the world just want to know one thing: was that hot Nazi body the real you because 'Rrrrrow!'"
You think I am making a joke but I don't joke about things that I don't joke about and one of those things is that Ted Grant has previously expressed interest in cultivating an intimate relationship with hot Nazi Ultrahumanite. Specifically, he said earlier that she "swept him off his feet." He only used that phrase so Al could make a joke about how they were hanging upside down so the sweeping off of feet is still happening. But I think, in his heart, he wanted to say, "She made me spontaneously become a man every time we wrestled. Is that okay under the Hays Code? Can I get away with that amount of innuendo?!" The Ultrahumanite has to go deal with The Flash who has literally suddenly appeared. Weird how the word "literally" is never actually needed when it is used properly. I guess using it in a hyperbolic and exaggerated fashion is really its only job. While Ultrahumanite is gone, Doctor Mid-Nite "double joints" his wrists to escape. I'm pretty sure Grunion Guy's wrists were double jointed by the amount of times he wrote about masturbating. He was a crude jerk but I still hope he rests in peace in that pauper's cemetery down by the toxic sludge factory. Doctor Mid-Nite takes on the guards while The Atom and Wildcat rush out to save The Flash who is The Flash and almost certainly does not need saving. While Doctor Mid-Nite is beating up the guards, he suddenly becomes a stand up comedian. Was I wrong to assume he was an actual doctor? Is that just his stage persona? I would tell you why his jokes were funny if they were but I cannot figure them out. Why is this an old joke (and if it is, why would he even retell it when it is nonsense): "I know you're out there because I can hear you breathing"? The Flash gets encased in some living green goo that absorbs heat and kinetic energy which might also be a definition of heat? I'm just a sandwich maker slash writer's assistant who has never once showed an ounce of curiosity about the real world so forgive me for languishing in my ignorance. At least I own a thesaurus. Back in Gotham City, Jesse Quick appears for a page or two to remind everybody that she exists. "Hello! I am the hot daughter of the infomercial guy! I have also deluded myself into believing a mathematical equation gives me super speed! It makes no sense!" Jesse takes some papers proving that Ultragen is breaking laws so the JSA has the right to beat the crap out of its CEO. For comedic effect, they have a little more confusion over Ultrahumanite's pronouns (which, to be fair, he has not expressed any preference for and doesn't seem to mind using whatever pronouns match the gender he seems to be expressing) before rushing off to punch her in the face. I don't know what pronouns to use either but she was a super hot Nazi so let's just go with that one.
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See? She is a scientific genius!
At first I was all, "Oh, big deal! So The Flash is trapped in goo!" And then the Ultrahumanite was all, "You cannot breathe without oxygen!" And then I was all, "Oh no! I had not thought of that! Somebody save him, preferably an old guy from the JSA or I will feel cheated out of my hard earned buck twenty-five." I keep laughing at that previously scanned panel and how Wildcat and The Atom are hiding behind trees the way characters do in comic strips. So ridiculous! It is even funnier if you remember that they are old men! I bet you are laughing a lot more now! Doctor Mid-Nite arrives because he "smoke bombed" with his previous stand-up gig. Get it?! If you understood the play on the word "bomb" there and that I meant the fight against the guards when I said "stand-up gig," you would be cracking up like crazy!
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Yeah. A smoke bomb! We all know that is where he keeps them!
The Flash breaks free and Doctor Mid-Nite punches Ultrahumanite in the nose, breaking it. Ultrahumanite is so vain that he falls to the ground, defeated! And that is when the Calvary arrives! That is funny because I used the wrong word and now you are picturing a crucified Jesus riding up on a horse to save the day instead of Green Lantern, The Flash, and Jesse Quick arriving on a Green Lantern construct! Justice Society of America #4 Rating: A. I have not read as many comic books as Grunion Guy but this one seemed pretty good in comparison to the ones I have read, like WildC.A.T.S. #1 and pick any issue you want of Youngblood. One more "What gender is Ultrahumanite?!" joke for the road!
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Alan felt this was the kind of thing a heterosexual would say. It's funny because he "New 52" comes out of the closet later!
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MMA Manager Full Guide
Former kickboxer Louis Neglia reveals the martial arts secrets and techniques he's gleaned from his forty-plus years in the combat recreation. While you think of formulas and principles, you do not usually envision kickboxing When you're like me, you in all probability consider chemistry or physics — topics few of us know a lot about. After time, your gloves will type to your hand and in contrast to borrowed gloves are always obtainable once you want them. Muay Thai Heavy Bag - A banana bag at home is great for working towards all of your punches and kicks. A hook, if mastered may be one in all your most powerful punches as it is difficult to defend in opposition to as it comes from a side angle and might move an opponent's head or body. However, if you happen to actually need to appear and feel the half and likewise get essentially the most out of your training, it isn't a nasty concept to put money into some kickboxing tools. If the top coach can be the proprietor of the fitness center, this can be a nice indicator. It shows their ardour and dedication to the sport. They love Muay Thai and want to share that life with others.
Design kickboxing shorts
kickboks broekjes met eigen naam is the want of many gyms. Designing your own boxing shorts is usually carried out for professional athletes and in lots of instances paid by the sponsor. It is also a novel and super fun birthday present. Cardio kickboxing can be an effective way to relieve stress and frustration. It releases hormones ( endorphins ) that improve your mood and block emotions of pain. In regards to the author: Louis Neglia is a former world kickboxing champion who has run a karate and kickboxing faculty in Brooklyn, New York, since 1972. He now directs the Ring of Combat MMA event series. A Teep is thrown together with your lead leg, it's the jab of kicks. Use Teep kicks to unbalance your opponent, and test an incoming assault. Cardio kickboxing is taken into account a low- or high-impression, high-intensity workout. Beginners are advised to start slowly. Listen to your body and take water breaks while you want them. Work your method up to exercising at full depth.
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