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#carmen berzatto x reader x sydney adamu
galaxysgal · 3 months
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sydcarmy x reader…..established sydcarmy and then they find you and they either both have separate panic attacks like ‘NOOO I STILL LOVE MY PARTNER BUT ALSO THIS NEW PERSON?’ or they mutually just go ‘oh my🤭’
and the insanity of having BOTH OF THEM FLIRT WITH YOU? goodbye. carmen’s trying to be chill but somehow comes off so strong with the words he just says casually (ex. i wouldn’t even wanna do this without you) and syd with her sweetness and her making you food to try, especially stuff she knows you’d love. and the YEARNING STARES they’d give you
just both of them trying to include in their world and eventually sitting you down like ‘hey…what if…now hear me out…we all dated <3’
sydcarmy x reader has my entireeee heart istg. bc its carmen your new boss, and sydney your new best friend (im thinking reader is a cook at the bear) so obviously you feel like you can't make a move on either of them and then suddenly they're together and you definitely can't make a move on either of them... but then they're both so so sweet to you, carm with his gentle hands guiding you while you learn new techniques, sydney with her dazzling smile and wonderful jokes.
you start catching their gaze lingering on you in the kitchen, inviting you over to carmen's apartment to try out new recipes together, etc. and then sydney takes you as your plus one on a girls night out and the two of you come home drunk to carmy's apartment because its closer and the words tumble so easily out of sydney's lips that the three of you should "try this out" and ofc carmy is confused, stuttering and blushing as syd stands with an arm around his waist.
'carm, you've told me what you think of her' 'y-yeah 's just... jesus!' 'cmon man you're scaring her!' and you're stood there in drunken shock, your cheeks heating up and your lips quirking up into a confused smile before carmy reaches out and grabs your hand, pulling you under his other arm.
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xblackreader · 2 months
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newtkive · 3 months
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shift shenanigans - s1 social media au
note: jus for fun ! may or may not do more parts.
warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes from richie sry
part two
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liked by syd_adamu, marcus.brooks11 and 30 others
chefboyardee: my friends! i love my friends! the two on the right more than the left (i’m joking i promise) 😁😁😁😁
see all 8 comments
syd_adamu: brave of you to call him your friend y/n
↳ chefboyardee: boss man carmy save me
↳ syd_adamu: oh.. :///
marcus.brooks11: you did me so dirty, friend.
↳ chefboyardee: love you marcus you look spectacular
↳ marcus.brooks11: don’t start
richietheking: Where am I?
↳ chefboyardee: ya motha
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liked by syd_adamu, chefboyardee and 10 others
richietheking: Getting sh$!t done.
see all 8 comments
marcus.brooks11: This is coolllddd.
↳ richietheking: You already know it man.
syd_adamu: this is actually crazy
carmyberzatto: can you show this on instagram? i think you should delete this.
↳ richietheking: Delete your life.
chefboyardee: come down to the beef for a number 6 the occy way 💯 the safest joint on the block 🤑💯we are 🔛🔝
↳ richietheking: Eyyy I know that’s right.
↳ carmyberzatto: please don’t advertise this.
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WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩
[ 8:25 am ]
y/n:
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bruh im about to lose it. heads up when you guys get to work.
marcus: that catering order is about to be crazy
DO NOT REPLY: These white boards are stressing me out.
syd: we know, probably giving you ptsd from not finishing high school
DO NOT REPLY: Fuck you I did finish it.
y/n: oh i gotta change ur contact name richie
richie poo: ????? What
y/n: it was ‘DO NOT REPLY’ lols
marcus: valid
syd: real
richie poo: What? Why?! That’s so rude
y/n: cuz you piss me off
and you kept blowing up my phone yesterday
richie poo: You weren’t answering, and we needed help at the cook out.
syd: the one where you poisoned everyone?
richie poo: Fuck off.
y/n: when i’m off work, i’m off work.
marcus: don’t let carmy hear that, y/n
y/n: don’t remind me
syd: he’s trying at least, go easy on him. he really has great ideas
richie poo: You mean you have great ideas in that little notebook
tina: Never trust a broad with a notebook.
syd: hey! i’m just being helpful
y/n: do you guys think my ig post will hurt carmys feelings
marcus: it would make me a little sad if i were him, but i don’t think he cares
y/n: great i’m gonna cry now
syd: i doubt he even saw it y/n it’s fine
richie poo: Check the work chat. Cousin is in a mood.
y/n: oh great
tina: Help us all.
syd: be nice you guys
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WORK
[ 9:15 am ]
carmy: Everyone, we have huge catering orders tomorrow to prep for today. Please get here as soon as you can, the earlier you clock in the better. Additionally, please be careful what you post on social media. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression
y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳
syd: ok sounds good
richie poo: Cool it, Cousin. What’s the issue with the social media
tina: I use FaceBook. That not allowed now??
carmy: Tina, you’re fine. I’m talking about those who post work things on public accounts
marcus: facebook is crazy
richie poo: I can’t go private
y/n: he needs the likes
richie poo: No I’m disabled from doing so. Not sure why
y/n: liar
richie poo: 😑I don’t like you
carmy: Then please don’t post pics of yourself posting up with a gun and an air horn outside of my shop anymore.
marcus: that pic was fire can’t lie
carmy: Well, it’s bad for business.
richie poo: Fine, whatever
y/n: carmy
carmy: What, Y/n?
y/n: is this because of my caption on my post i’m sorry i promise i wasn’t being for real
carmy: I don’t care Y/n.
y/n: is that code for ‘i care a lot and i’m crying in the office right now and that’s why the door is closed’
oh
syd: ? why the oh
y/n: he opened the door and yelled no 🤨 but i think i saw red eyes
carmy: Please get back to work and I’ll comp a meal for you later
y/n: OMG yes chef 😍
richie poo: Inappropriate emojis and you shouldn’t have to incentivize her to work
y/n: shut up acting like HR i’m gonna beat your ass
jealousy is ugly which is why you have that mug on your face
carmy: Stop
y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳
i heard your giggle tho
richie poo: Again with the schizo episode
syd: you can’t say that richie
richie poo: Oh sorry
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veryberryjelly · 3 months
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humour me
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carmen berzatto x fem!reader
cw : fainting, mentions of previous ed, 1 use of y/n [ im sorry ]
𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
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the bear could be the most chaotic place on the planet.
especially as a server, it was inescapable.
going back and forth between the kitchen and the dining room, two stressful locations that you continually switched between.
it could sometimes be quite dizzying. especially when you hadn't stopped to eat anything all day.
this morning when you left your apartment you just thought you'd grab something on your way out the door, but you didnt.
then you just put the thought of eating out of your head for the rest of the day.
old habits die hard.
when you arrived at the bear, there wasnt a moment to stop and think about it again.
but suddenly it was like every yell for service was being called underwater.
you had to focus really hard on trying to get everything out to the tables in one piece.
but on one trip back to the kitchen, your pale face and slow steps caught the attention of carmen as he made a trip to the fridge.
" hey, you okay ?" he questioned, ignoring the fact that he definitely had a lot more pressing things to do than to check on you.
his question, while simple, took a long time for your brain to register.
logically you knew he had asked you something, but you couldn't figure out what it was or how to answer it.
before your brain could catch up to the real world, everything went dark.
the last thing you recalled was a pair of hands on your waist.
you expected to rouse to the feeling of cold tile against your cheek, but instead it was a scratchy fabric you didnt recognise.
the light wasnt fluorescent, rather warm and coming from across the room as opposed to the ceiling.
as the room came in to focus, as did a figure sat across from you.
carmen.
you weren't sure if this was going to be a pleasant interaction or not, though the slight fondness you recognised in carmen's eyes gave you hope.
he said nothing, instead just standing from his chair and offering you a glass of water.
you moved to sit up on the couch, taking the water from him and taking a few sips as he sat down on the other end of the couch.
he waited until you stopped sipping at the water until he spoke up.
" what the hell happened ? " he questioned, clearly wanting to know why you had just collapsed in the kitchen.
" probably just got a bit hot. " you didnt really feel like telling him you hadn't eaten today, or yesterday now that you thought about it.
" it's 40 degrees outside " he countered, to which you didnt really have an answer. " is everything okay ? "
you figured this might be coming. carmen was one of the few people who knew about your previous issues with food, so it was understandable that he was worried you had fallen back into old patterns.
" everything's fine, carm. i just havent eaten today. that's it. " you tried to brush it off as though it was nothing, but from the way carmen was looking at you, he wasnt letting you off that easy.
you reached over and took one of his tattooed hands in yours, giving him a reassuring squeeze.
" i promise, i'm good. i'll grab some food at home. "
" let me make you something here "
" you don't have to do that carm, i'm f- "
" humour me " he cut you off and you couldnt say no to him.
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highttowers · 10 months
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Hello i am requesting for Carmen from the Bear!! Something sweet and heart warming about Carmen being worried about the reader and just the whole kitchen seeing how in love he is ❤️ thank you
yes to heaven.
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pairing(s); carmen “carmy” berzatto x gn!reader
fandom; the bear (fx on hulu)
w/c; 758 words
trigger/content warnings; brief sexual implications, brief mention of past injuries, language, richie (he’s a warning all by himself), tina n richie being mean to carmy lol, tina and reader chisme together, is this another fic with an ldr song title????, brief touches on carmy’s trauma (not in-depth cuz this is a fluff fic), not-proof read, lmk if i missed anything.
stella speaks! i need him biblically. at first, i was like “mmm, jeremy allen white” as a joke. but bro. i don’t think it’s a joke anymore…
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Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto who’s always watching you. Who has his eye on you, if you will ;)
Carmy, whose eyes are trailing your figure when you first meet. Not in a sexual way, just taking in every detail. The way you stand, the way you move your hands when you talk. Any time you wear a shirt more than once, the nervous tics you have while he tries your food, if you have any visible tattoos, freckles, or birthmark. His eyes snag on every little thing you do for a split second.
Carmy, whose gaze is locked in your hands while you demonstrate your abilities. He’s taking in every scar, every cut, every tear, every burn that was once fresh in the skin of your hands and committing it to memory. He doesn’t know why, he just is.
Carmy, whose eyes will flicker to your face every so often as you cook, lingering in the scrunch of your brow, the purse of your lip, the muttering under you breath, every curve and divet on your cheeks.
Carmy, whose brain short-circuits the first time he sees you in anything other than your lose white tee, black pants and blue apron. Logically, he knows your body has always been shaped that way, so why is heat crawling up his neck in the biting Chicago air?
Carmy, whose new favorite thing is watching you cook. Especially the recipes you know by heart, when every lovely movement your body makes is muscle memory. Seamless and smooth.
Carmy who appreciates the habit you have of cleaning your station as you cook. Those pale blue eyes locked in you as he exits his office, watching you dumping veggies in a crock pot before scooping up the cutting board, knife, and any food waste and making short work of it.
Carmy who is personally offended by Richie watching you cook. Richie and his Richie-esque comments making him roll his eyes, or warning a scoff. “Makes you wanna know what other moves they can do, eh?” “Shut the fuck up, cousin.”
Carmy, whose habit of paying microscopically close attention to you has whispers from Marcus to Tina to Sydney to you. He appreciates the way you wave them off, using the new kid excuse.
Carmy, who’s been reduced to a stuttering mess when you confront him privately about it. He’s spilling out excuses, until you quietly ask him if he wants to grab coffee with you sometime.
Carmy who, the more and more he arrives to work either with you or with a dumb smile on his face, is getting endless teasing from Richie and Tina. Sydney quietly smiles at him, but mainly sticks to talking about the nature of y’all’s relationship with you.
Carmy, who admittedly fears anytime you let sitting with Tina, exchanging words that have her yelling curses or exclamations in Spanish.
Carmy, who has a retort ready for Richie when he asks you if that means he has a chance now, only to clamp his mouth shut when you wordlessly flip Richie off, bringing another soft look into Carmy’s eyes and a dumb grin on his lips.
Carmy who has to kiss every scar, every mark, every little thing in your body when given the chance. It’s a love language, remembering and worshipping every little thing about you.
Carmy who has his eyes on you so much, regulars at The Beef are silently questioning if there’s anything going on. (there is, but Carmy would sooner be Richie’s personal chef than admit it to customers.)
Carmy whose new greates comfort is you. Any fleeting fragment of you. Maybe you washed his clothes once and now they smell like you. Maybe you hugged him so much your scent lingers in his nose. Maybe he’s got a small piece of jewelry from you or reminiscent of you. Anything that has to do with you can bring him out of the deepest panic.
Carmy who swears up and down and to the ends of the Earth that he’s never gonna lose you. It’s not even an option anymore. He would actually just fall to pieces on the floor.
Carmy who shows the uglier parts of him slowly. You actually have to peel back the first layer and stare it directly in the face without fear before he shows you more. He’s just so scared.
Carmy who’s so so grateful you don’t try to fix him. You just leave him as he is, just giving extra love to those broken bits.
Carmy who used to hate love songs before you arrived.
Carmy who was losing faith in the very idea of love until you arrived.
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nolita-fairytale · 1 year
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j is for james beard... and for jealousy | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader
pairing: jealous boyfriend!carmy x female!reader 
word count: 7.4k
summary: after sydney takes home a big win at the james beard awards, you and your boyfriend carmy run into an old rival for a fiery, chaotic, and surprisingly sexy night. companion piece to 'make my heart surrender' but can be read as a standalone oneshot.
warnings: 18+ chapter, minors dni: lots of swearing, p*rn with a plot, smut, p in v unprotected sex (reader is using hormonal birth control in monogamous relationship), praise kink, rough jealousy sex
a/n: how dare I drag poor james beard into this hetero nonsense?! anywayssss surprise i'm back because i keep having ideas for these two. maybe one day i'll just write a carmy x reader piece that doesn't include this character but for now... please enjoy this literal porn with a plot. also: let's all agree that toxic jealousy is a red flag in relationships, however, i wanted to work with a scenario where carmy would perhaps be more sexually assertive.
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“I look ridiculous,” Carmy had grumbled earlier that day, at his reflection in the mirror. 
He had never felt like himself while wearing a suit. Sure, he would spend time, effort, and money into finding the perfect vintage denim jacket, but a suit? He’d much rather be behind the scenes, in his chef whites, instead of this. 
“You look…” you’d countered him, emphasizing the word ‘look’. “...hot, Carmen.”
He’d given you somewhat of a half smile in response – flattered by your comment, and also unconvinced you hadn’t just said in an attempt to get him out of the house. 
Or out of obligation. 
Because he’s your boyfriend. Because you’ll say anything to get him out for Syd’s big night. Because you love him. 
Carmy had never gotten used to the whole celebrity aspect of the food world – especially his own. These award ceremonies were always an uncomfortable reminder that he never quite felt like he fit in. 
“Do you think Syd would kill me if-?” Carmy had asked, shifting uncomfortably. 
“Baby, Sydney is counting on us… and she and I will both kick your ass if you don’t get in the car,” you’d cut him off, because there was no way in hell he was getting out of this. With a scowl on his face, you’d dragged him down the stairs and into your Uber. 
And that’s how he ended up here, at the James Beard award ceremony on a Sunday night, as you all wait anxiously for the announcement. While the restaurant hadn’t been open long enough to be nominated and was actively in a state of ‘working out the kinks,’ Carmy’s celebrity in the food world had brought in a lot of press. Ever since Sydney and Carmy had become partners in the reopen, he had been more than happy to let her take center stage. When the nominations were announced, and Sydney was on the list, he was ecstatic for her. Truthfully, it was a relief that she seemed to do much better with all the stuff he wasn’t crazy about: press, interviews, the spotlight. 
“Wake me up when this snoozefest is over,” Richie mumbles trying his best to pretend he’s not having a good time. You snort, shooting Richie a look, because you know it’s one of the most exciting nights he’s had in a while. 
Besides Carmy, who wouldn’t want to get all dressed up to go to a fancy party and celebrate Sydney?
You’ve somehow managed to corral the core staff of The Bear here this evening. The entire restaurant had been abuzz when the nominations were announced, and talks of who would get stuck at the restaurant the night of the award ceremony had already begun. It was an easy decision to close the restaurant for that night, so that everyone who wanted to could attend. 
Your life here is better than you ever imagined it could be. Working your ass off in a kitchen that you love has been invigorating. It’s helping you fall in love with the process all over again. You suspect that your time in fine dining had, perhaps, run its course even before you quit your last job. Back then, here is what you’d longed for on the days you felt your most lost. You love being a teacher; you love mentoring Marcus. He’s got a desire to learn that never quits, and it inspires you day in and day out. But most importantly, you’re head over heels in love. You’re so deeply in love with Carmy that sometimes, you wonder what took the two of you so long to pull the trigger.
Tonight is no different. You’re surrounded by people you adore more than anything  – people you’ve been in the trenches with during a dinner service from hell, people you’ve laughed your ass off with after a round of drinks outside of the restaurant – and you’re all here to celebrate someone who’s become a close friend of yours. It’s just another reminder – another sign from the universe – that you made the right decision.
And you’re sure Sydney is going to win. 
You’re not sure how you know. 
You can just feel it. 
Sydney sits between Carmy and Marcus, and you’re seated in between Carmy and Richie. You notice Carmy’s leg is bouncing up and down impatiently as he anticipates the next category of awards. Even though you know these big social events put Carmy on edge, you know he’s really just nervous for her. 
“And the winner… for the James Beard Rising Star award of 2023…” the announcer, esteemed chef Mashama Bailey begins, grabbing the attention of the entire room. 
Your heart is pounding in your chest, and Carmy continues to fidget nervously. You reach across Carmy’s lap, grabbing Sydney’s hand and giving it a squeeze of reassurance. Sydney holds on to you, and while you’re sure she might cut off your circulation from squeezing so tightly, you don’t mind. You’re all on the edges of your seat. 
“Sydney Adamu of The Bear!”
You and Carmy are cheering as loudly as you can, while Richie jumps to his feet letting out a loud ‘whoop.’ A chorus of ‘that’s right,’ ‘she won!’ and ‘c’mon syd’ echoes through Tina, Gary, and Ebra and Manny, while Angel is already on his feet taking a video of the crowd. Everyone is cheering so boisterously you’re not sure it’ll ever stop. 
“You won, Syd!” you yell over the loud claps and cheers, giving her hand one more squeeze. She rises, letting go of your hand, you and Carmy both following to give her some space to walk through the aisle. 
“Let’s go, Syd! That’s right. That’s right,” Marcus calls out loudly, jumping to his feet with Richie and earning a few looks from the people sitting to the right and left. 
“Congratulations, chef,” Carmy whispers, as she passes him by. You watch as Marcus ushers her over to the aisle so that she can go up to the stage while Angel films the whole thing on his iPhone. Carmy has the proudest look on his face, the tip of his nose the lightest blush pink, and you’re beaming as you watch your friend make her way towards the stage of the opera house. 
“Remember when this was you?” you whisper to Carmy, catching his attention. 
“Tonight everything changes for her,” Carmy replies, grinning from ear to ear. 
“For the both of you,” you add. “For all of us.”
The night he won the rising star award put him on the map. While you hadn’t known Carmy at the time, you’d heard about him in those early days of both of your careers. Carmy had risen so quickly through the ranks that by the time you met him, he was only a few weeks away from his promotion to CDC at the old restaurant. Not only did this put Sydney on the map, but it was better press for The Bear than anyone could ask for. 
“Congratulations, baby,” you say, kissing him on the cheek. He just shoots you a look, the pride evident in his eyes, before wrapping his arm around you and holding you close. 
~
“I just wanna say,” Richie begins, having garnered the attention of your group. You’re all huddled in a circle at the reception, champagne flutes in everyone’s hands. 
“I know we don’t always see eye to eye…” Richie toasts, earning a few looks and side comments from your team. “And don’t forget about that time you stabbed me… but even if this brings a bunch of fuckin’ strokes to the restaurant, we’re so fuckin’ proud of you.” 
“To Sydney, who’s… what does Carmy say… changed the chemistry and who is the heart of this restaurant,” Ebra adds on. 
Tina smiles proudly, raising her glass to Sydney. It brings a smile to your face to see her all dressed up too. 
“Syd, I don’t know where the hell we’d be without you,” Carmy continues, raising his glass. 
“Cheers to you, Sydney!” you say, clinking champagne glasses, before taking your first celebratory drink as a team. 
It doesn’t take long for your group to break off into smaller ones – making comments about how out of place you all feel at this fancy of an event. Richie’s wrapping an arm around Carmy’s shoulder, ushering him to a side conversation – something about ‘lizards this’, and ‘the working class that.’ 
“So how do you feel?” you ask, turning towards Sydney, taking a moment to quietly congratulate your friend. 
“I think I’m still in shock,” she sighs in relief, earning a chuckle from you. 
“Well, I’ll cheers to that. You know. To calm the nerves,” you joke, raising your glass once more. 
“To liquid courage,” she agrees, clinking glasses with you again, as you both decide just to finish off your flutes of champagne. 
“Can I get you another drink?” you offer, placing your now empty champagne 
“Oooo can you get me one of those fancy themed cocktails I saw at the bar earlier?” Sydney replies, excitedly. 
“Anything for you,” you say back. 
“And when you’re back, I think I saw Carla Hall has a tasting table here so we should make our rounds,” Sydney mentions, because there’s no way either of you are missing out on the fact that the best chefs in the world are cooking in this room right now. 
You nod in agreement, heading to the bar to get both you and Sydney a new round of drinks. 
“What can I getcha?” the bartender asks. 
You glance at the menu, deciding on your go-to, a gin and tonic, and then one of the featured cocktails of the evening that Sydney mentioned, knowing she’s a tequila drinker. You wait at the bar for your drinks, knowing the fancy mezcal cocktail you just ordered for Sydney will take a little bit of a time to make. 
“I was wondering when I’d run into you,” you hear a voice say, grabbing your attention. It’s a familiar voice that you were really hoping you’d never have to hear again. 
“Funny, because I was hoping to avoid you,” you quip back, turning to the man who’s just joined you at the bar. His bravado alone is enough to earn an eye roll from you and you can feel your guard going up. 
“What’re you doing here?” you ask, unable to hide the disdain in your voice. 
“You haven’t heard?” he asks, a cocky smirk on his face that you just want to slap off of it. 
“I don’t make it my business to keep up with you, Walker,” you shoot back, using his last name as a formality, completely unamused by his question.
“God, I love it when you talk dirty,” he croons, a flirtatious low chuckle rumbling out of his chest. 
You ignore him, rolling your eyes for the second time in the last two minutes, as you thank the bartender who’s just come back with your gin and tonic. You raise the glass to your lips, getting a head start since now, you definitely need this drink. 
“Moved to LA. Took a CDC position out there. Besides, after you left… New York was… getting boring,” he explains, playing it cool. He drops the name of the well-respected LA restaurant that he’s running now in an attempt to impress you, which only seems to piss you off further. 
You scoff in response. If you weren’t waiting on Sydney’s drink, you’d be long gone by now, but as you watch the bartender burn a sugar cube, you wonder how damn long it takes for a fucking mezcal drink to be made. 
Maybe if I’ll just ignore him, he’ll fuck off, you think to yourself.
“You know, I was surprised to hear you moved to Chicago. Left without saying goodbye. Then again, should’ve known…” he provokes, continuing his very one sided conversation. 
“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Nate?” you snap, turning your head to him, instantly regretting giving him the attention he’s so desperately seeking.
He raises an eyebrow, before nodding towards Carmy as a reply. Your gaze follows, and you can tell that Carmy’s noticed who you’re talking to at the bar. 
“It’s a small world. Word gets around. People talk.”
But you’re not listening to him, your eyes fixed on Carmy. Carmy sends a look of concern your way, but you nod back to him as if to say ‘all good.’ You can hold your own here. Nate watches carefully, noticing the look you share with Carmy across the room. He was always a detail oriented son of a bitch. 
“Classic golden boy,” Nate sighs, the envy in his voice giving him away. 
“Don’t you think your little one sided rivalry with Carmy is getting a little old?” you laugh dryly. 
“One sided?” Nate asks back, taking a step towards you. 
“Yeah, one sided,” you repeat, standing your ground. Now way in hell you’re going to let this asshole back you up. “Because if I recall correctly, he never indulged you in your silly little games.”
Nate laughs again, taking another step towards you that makes you increasingly more uncomfortable. 
“If that’s how you remember it.”
“Oh grow up.”
“Not when golden boy gets everything I want.”
“You’re so full of shit!” you exclaim, finally taking a step back. “Carmy’s had to work for everything he’s achieved. You and I both know that.”
“How do you think he’d feel,” Nate starts, and you’re not sure if he’s trying to sound seductive or intimidating – neither of which are working on you. “... if he knew about what happened between us? After he left New york? It was… what? A week, maybe two, before you jumped into bed with me?”
“Carmy knows I’m not a thing to be had, Nate,” you seethe, glaring at him. 
The bartender returns with your second drink finally. 
“You sure about that?” Nate smirks, reaching out to touch you. 
What a fucking asshole. 
“You’re disgusting,” you seethe, jerking your arm away from him. You take both of your drinks, and you can’t get out of there fast enough. 
“It was great catching up,” he calls after you, cockily. 
“Can’t say the same,” you say, not even turning to look back at him. 
You return to your group, holding in your fury. It’s Sydney’s big night and you’d much rather focus on that than the asshole of an old coworker you can’t fucking stand. You try to shake off the interaction, deciding it’s not even worth expending energy on. 
“What the hell was that all about?” Sydney asks, having witnessed your tenuous interaction with the man you called Nate. She thanks you as you hand her her new drink. 
“Absolute trashcan of a human. We used to work with him. In New York,” you said, letting out a puff of flustered air. 
“Okay but… that was weird right?” Sydney questions, seeing that this guy’s clearly gotten under your skin.
“Totally. He’s a piece of shit. He and Carmy always had this weird rivalry but it was mostly on his end. I… also may or may not have made the dumbest mistake ever once upon a time and slept with him… like… over a year ago,” you confess, feeling just a little bit guilty about it. 
“Noooo,” she replies, her eyes widening. “You slept with that guy?”
“Yeah,” you answer, regretfully. “Not one of my finest moments. Long story short: right after Carmy left New York to come back here, I got a little too drunk with some coworkers. I was really sad and it was stupid, and uh, he was… let’s just say more than happy to play the part of a good listener.”
“Can’t imagine that guy being good, or a listener, let alone both at once,” Sydney replies, seeing the negative effect he’s had on you in one conversation.
“Yeah, It was a stupid fucking mistake and I regretted it the next morning. If you can believe it, he got even more insufferable when he realized it would never happen again,” you tell her, shaking off the bad taste in your mouth the conversation left you with. 
“Yo,” Carmy says, hesitantly. He can tell that you’re pissed after your conversation at the bar. “Everything good?”
“Yeah,” you answer, honestly. “Just Nate Walker being a fuckin’ asshole. But what’s new?”
“Hey Syd! Let’s go grab a bite,” Marcus calls to her. 
“You guys mind?” she asks, looking from you to Carmy. 
You shake your heads ‘no’, and honestly, you’re glad it gives you a little time alone with your boyfriend. You watch as Sydney leaves with Marcus to make the rounds, leaving you and Carmy alone. 
“Haven’t heard that name in a while,” Carmy starts, bringing Nate up again. He can feel his face beginning to heat up as he asks you about it. 
“Yeah.”
“Biggest jackoff in New York City.”
“Well, apparently he’s LA’s problem now.”
“Fucko,” Carmy says, shaking his head at the memory of his pain in the ass sous. He can’t figure out why seeing Nate talk to you near-sent him into a blind rage, but you’d reassured him that you were good so, he let you hold your own. 
“Seems like he had a lot to say to you.”
“Yeah, lucky me,” you reply dryly. 
“After that I think I need a shower. Or a bath of bleach.”
Carmy lets out a small laugh, releasing some of the tension he, unknowingly, was holding in his body. 
“Listen, I don’t want to talk about Nate,” you say, changing the subject. 
It’s not that you feel weird about it – that you’d feel weird telling Carmy about what happened between the two of you – but it just feels so small and insignificant in the face of the love that you have with Carmy. 
“Good, me either,” Carmy exhales. 
Another release in pressure. 
He wonders if he’d been this tense all night, or if seeing you with Nate had managed to piss him off this much. 
“You wanna dance?” you ask him, a mischievous smile on his face. You offer a hand out to him. 
“Baby, you know I don’t dance,” he states, matter of factly. 
“I know. But I do,” you say, with a wiggle of your eyebrows. 
“One dance,” he warns, earning a triumphant smile from you.
He takes your hand, prompting you to put your drink down on the table where you’re all posted up at. Carmy shakes his head, surprised that you’ve coaxed him this far out of his comfort zone. As he pulls you into his arms, you giggle, wrapping yours around his neck and sway to the loud music in the background. 
“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” he asks you with such genuine love in those beautiful blue eyes of his. 
He thinks you look like a goddess – could be the dress, but he’s pretty sure it’s you. Your hair is shorter now than it was a few months ago and lays in the softest, most gentle waves, parted perfectly down the middle. He hasn’t stopped staring at cherry red-painted lips all night, and every time he gets a peek of your legs through the high slit in the dress you’re wearing, he swears he short circuits. 
Not to mention the low neckline. He’d watched you tie the top of the dress into a plunging neckline, and had to hold back his ask for you to cover up. It’s not that he cared about what you wore. But if he hadn’t been going to therapy over the last few months, he might feel some kind of way about anyone else getting to see any part of your breasts – anyone but him. 
“A couple of times… but I won’t be mad about hearing it a few more, Bear,” you grin, leaning into him. 
He smiles at your use of his childhood nickname. Back in New York, he’d kept it from you. It was just a reminder of what he’d left behind: his psycho mom, a nightmare of pain from his psycho-fucked-up family, how much it hurt when Mikey cut him out. But now, he loves the way it sounds coming from your lips, your voice the sweetest thing he’s ever heard. While he knows it’s taken him a long time to let you in, he’s glad he has. Whether it be at the restaurant or at the home you share together, you’ve become one of the most consistent things in his life. 
The rest of the night is almost perfect. It’s filled with dancing, catching up with coworkers and friends in the culinary world, and most importantly, a celebration with your chosen family. That is, until you hear Sydney swear halfway across the room, catching the attention of you and Carmy both. 
Carmy’s looking past you to where Nate is towering over Sydney at the bar. If looks could kill, he’s pretty sure Nate would be dead by now. 
“Is that Nate again?” Carmy asks, his face pink as he feels a rush of blood flow throw him. 
You can see that Sydney is practically in the same place you were an hour ago. You watch as he steps in front of her, practically blocking her in between him and the bar. 
“I don’t like this. We should go over there,” you say with a sense of urgency. 
Carmy agrees, and Richie and Marcus, who you’re currently conversing with, follow close behind. 
“Okay. You need,” Sydney warns, her voice deliberate, like a rattlesnake giving one last warning before it strikes. “... to back… the fuck up.” 
His response is even worse, causing a fire to burn in your belly as you overhear what he says to Sydney. 
“Oh come on,” he coos, forcing himself closer to her. “I’m just trying to have a little fun.”
Sydney takes another step to the side, trying her best to escape him and holding her hands up as a barrier while you charge at him. Your sudden movement attracts his attention, giving Sydney the out that she needs. You put both of your hands on his chest, shoving him away from her as you shout. 
“She said ‘no.’ What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
Nate’s got such a smug, satisfied smirk on his face that, if you weren’t in a room filled with the best chefs in the world, you’d actually punch it right off of him. Carmy follows you, protectively standing behind you. 
“Jealous?” he asks, amused. His eyes flicker over to Carmy, whose face is beginning to heat up, turning a brighter shade of red by the moment.  
“In your dreams, asshat,” you spit back. 
“Yeah, you’re right about that,” he says, completely satisfied as Carmy’s fist clenches. He’s clearly enjoying just how much he’s getting under his old boss’ skin. 
You feel Carmy step towards him, but you turn to him, placing a hand on his abdomen to stop him, “Bear, it’s not worth it.”
“Did you tell him?” Nate asks you, with the intention of stirring the pot. 
“Jesus Christ,” you mutter, shaking your head in absolute disbelief. 
“Tell me what?” Carmy asks you softly. 
“How does it feel, golden boy? To know that the one thing you always wanted… I got to first,” Nate sneers, a threatening sound in his voice. He looks from you to Carmy, assessing the damage. 
Before Carmy can say anything, it’s you who lurches towards NAte, and Carmy’s wrapping his arms around you to hold you back. You can feel the tension in his arms as he holds you against his chest protectively. 
“Okay this motherfucker is just asking for it,” Richie seethes, charging towards Nate. 
“Richie, don’t!” Sydney shouts, shooting him a ‘please don’t make a scene’ look. 
It takes all of Richie’s self control to stop himself. He nods to her, holding up his hands as a surrender. He begins to take a few steps back as your uncomfortably public standoff continues. 
Sydney has retreated back so that she stands side by side with Marcus, while Carmy’s loosened his grip on your waist. 
By the look on Nate’s face, you can tell he thinks he’s gotten away with it all, as he looks around at all of you one last time. 
“You all have a goodnight,” he smirks, before taking his drink and slithering away. 
You could care less where to. You’re just glad he’s gone. 
You watch as he goes before checking in with Sydney, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she says, shaking her head. Marcus is by her side in an instant and you can see Carmy’s jaw twitching with anger. “Can’t believe you used to work with that guy. Fuck that guy.”
“Yeah, fuck that guy,” Richie agrees under his breath. 
“C’mon. Let’s just…” Marcus encourages quietly, nodding to your table. 
Richie, Marcus, and Sydney all make their way back to your group as you stay with Carmy. His face is red and you can see it on his face that he’s still processing what just happened – what Nate said. You can see the gears turning in his head, and he’s staring at the floor, his face still cherry tomato-red.
“Carmy,” you say, ripping him from his thoughts. 
He looks up at you, his face softening the minute you make eye contact. 
“Can we go somewhere? Talk?” he asks, trying not to look like he’s going to burn the fuckin’ place down. 
You agree with a nod, taking his hand and leading him elsewhere. 
The further away from the reception you go, the quieter the party gets, and the louder your thoughts get. Would he be mad? You were furious with Nate for trying to use what happened to get under Carmy’s skin, but you also wonder if he’s mad at you too. For sleeping with Nate? For not telling him? But was it something you were supposed to tell him? It’s not like you expected him to tell you about every person he’d ever slept with. 
Carmy finally stops, leading you into a quieter room, far away from the party. As you flick the lights on, it looks like a single dressing room for the plays performed here. The silence between the two of you is deafening, and it’s not just because it’s the first quiet moment you’ve had together since you arrived. 
“I’m not mad… about Nate… about what he said,” Carmy says, breaking the silence between the two of you. 
He’s trying his best to sound convincing, reassuring even, but he’s sure he’s doing a shit job. 
You’re surprised, so you just take him in, searching his face for any clue that he’s telling that truth. His face is red, and you can see a tightness running across his chest as he’s looking for the courage to ask:
“But why didn’t you tell me?” 
You sigh, unsure of what to say. 
“Because…” you begin, hoping that if you just start talking, you’ll find the right words to explain. “I-, I didn’t think I had to. It happened once and it was a stupid mistake with… a lot of tequila involved.”
“You had just left New York and I was lonely. I didn’t say anything because… it didn’t mean anything to me, Bear.”
He listens, taking your explanation in, his eyes fixed on the floor again. He’s not mad at you, but he can’t seem to shake this feeling of anger – this tension that has him wanting to punch a hole through the wall. 
“I don’t like what he fuckin’ said to you,” he finally blurts out. 
“That- that he thinks he can just say whatever the fuck he wants. That he forced himself on Syd like that, like he can-.”
Carmy looks down at the floor again, his words trailing off. 
He’s pissed. 
You can tell he’s pissed. 
But you have a nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach that says something else is going on. 
Is Carmy… jealous?
“Carmy, I’m sorry you had to find out like this,” you apologize softly. “He shouldn’t have-, I mean he really is the worst fucking person to ever walk-.”
“I’m not upset about-,” he interrupts, firmly. He holds your gaze, trying to give you the most reassuring look he can. “I don’t care about-. I just… I don’t like the way he talked to you.”
You wait as he stews on his thoughts, his anger simmering as he sorts through his feelings. It’s like watching a hot pot of water come to a boil. 
“I didn’t like seeing him touch you earlier like-.”
Let it rip.
“Like he can just put his hands on anyone he-. On you! I–.”
And then finally he explodes with, “I just fuckin’ hate that guy!”
It’s as if the pressure valve has been released as he lets out a big puff of air. While you can see it’s given him some relief, you’re still not sure what you’re supposed to offer at this moment. 
“Carmy, what can I- hmmph?” you begin to ask, before being cut off by his lips on yours. 
Well this isn’t what you were expecting.
Your head is spinning as your boyfriend kisses you with such passion, fervor, and urgency. He’s crashing his lips against yours at a desperate pace, and it’s all tongues and teeth and his hands are grabbing the back of your head, tangling into your hair. You’re not sure how you’ve gone from trying your best to hold space for your boyfriend’s feelings, to him pressing you up against the dressing room counter.
You gasp as he hoists you up onto the counter, pushing his body into yours. 
“Carmy, are you-?” you ask, feeling the tent that’s already formed in his pants as you wrap your legs around him. 
There’s a confident assertiveness he moves with, and as much as you hate to admit it, this is all turning you on.
“Hate that fuckin’ guy,” Carmy murmurs into your skin, as he begins to leave kisses down your jawline. 
His mouth moves urgently down your neck, to your shoulders, to the exposed skin the plunging neckline of your dress reveals. His teeth leave light pink and purple marks in their wake, and you’re gasping, moaning, grabbing at any part of him you can hold on to. Little love bites begin to appear, but when he’s making you feel this good, you could care less. 
He’s confident in the way he sucks little marks into your skin, biting down then immediately soothing the pain with his tongue. As he works his mouth over you, he looks up at you, his eyes wide, pupils blown out in pure desire, and it takes your fucking breath away. 
Pain and pleasure.
Just to show the whole world that you’re his. 
 “Thinks he can fuckin’ look at you. Put his fuckin’ hands on you,” he mumbles against your skin. His mouth has reached the lowest point of your plunging neckline as he stands up, pushing himself against you between your legs. 
“Baby,” you breathe out. You make a mental note to unpack why his sudden possessiveness has you so hot and bothered with your therapist next week. 
“I really, really don’t want to talk about him right now.”
Carmy drops to his knees, stripping off his suit jacket and throwing it elsewhere. The sight has you absolutely drenched and you think you may cum just from looking at him. 
“You’re mine,” is all he says, eliciting another moan from you as he sinks his teeth into the soft supple skin of your calf. You slide a heel-covered foot over his shoulder, as his lips begin trail up your calf, to your knee, to your inner thighs…
“Yes. I’m yours,” you breathe out, exasperated by Carmy’s sudden forwardness. You lean back, your head hitting the mirror with a thud. “All yours.”
He works his way up your thighs, leaving soft kisses on your inner thighs while his hands disappear underneath the skirt of your dress, frantically searching for your panties. 
“Carmy, I don’t know if we have time for-,” you gasp, as he pulls away for a moment. 
His curls are unruly from running your fingers through them, his lips swollen from the passionate makeout you started only moments ago. You feel his fingers hook underneath the top of your panties and he looks at you like he can see right through you. Holding your gaze, it’s impossible to not get lost into his ocean blue eyes you’ve fallen so deeply in love with. He takes his sweet time, teasing you, refusing to break eye contact, as he pulls your panties down your legs at an unbearable slow pace. 
You don’t look away. 
You don’t dare look away. 
Finally, finally, he breaks eye contact, sliding your panties over your feet, and putting them into his pocket as you brace yourself for what comes next. 
“We should-,” you start, your words ceasing instantly as he spreads your legs, licking a stripe up your dripping wet core. You cry out loudly, panicking almost instantly, because you don’t remember locking the damn door. 
We should stop. 
Do this elsewhere. 
Lock the door. 
Keep quiet. 
But you can’t seem to get the words out, as you let out another loud moan, and Carmy doesn’t have the heart to stop you. Something primal inside of him wants nothing more than for the whole party mere hallways away to hear you crying out his name. 
“Fuck, baby,” he murmurs, dragging his tongue through your folds. “Already so wet for me and I’ve barely even put my mouth on you.”
He wonders if there’s an award for this. 
Lifetime Loser Award.
2023’s Most Jealous Boyfriend
Chef Most Likely to Fuck His Girlfriend During the James Beard Reception Because He’s a Sad, Jealous Fuck.
“Carmy, please,” you beg, scooting your hips off the counter and pulling him up from the ground. Your demand rips him from his own self deprecating thoughts. 
“I need you inside of me. Now.” 
You need him.
“Turn around,” is all he says. 
He’s not sure where he gets the confidence for such a demand and it has you clenching around nothing. 
You’re more than happy to oblige as you whisper out a ‘yes,’ and turn yourself around to face the mirror. You can hear the sound of him unzipping his pants, then he’s hiking up the skirt of your dress once more. He puts his hands on your hips to steady you – maybe even to steady himself – and you can feel the head of his cock running through your folds. 
Just when you think you may die if you don’t get what you want, you let out the loudest cry you think has ever come out of your mouth as he pushes inside of you. You gasp, your fingers gripping the edge of the counter as you feel him shudder against your back. Your head hangs low, just focusing on memorizing how every single inch of him feels inside of you.
Carmy’s thrusts are slow at first, deep and deliberate thrusts burying himself all the way to the hilt. The sight of his cock disappearing inside of you is really testing his patience here as he thinks he may go insane. 
Back out. 
Then back in. 
“You’re so fuckin’ wet. So fuckin’ perfect for me. God, I love being inside of you,” he groans, enjoying his last few slow and deep thrusts. 
He’s got one hand on your hips and the other, wrapped around your waist. As he begins to speed up the pace of his thrusts, the hand around your waist goes to the counter too, to brace himself. 
“Carmen,” you moan his name, as he starts to go faster. “Yes. Perfect for you. Only you.”
Only you. 
Your words cause him to smirk, and the sounds you’re making only encourage him to keep fucking into you like he means it. 
“Look at yourself, baby,” he says, his words causing you to squeeze around him. He groans, his eyes rolling back, before he returns his gaze to the mirror. 
When you lock eyes, it’s like you’ve been set on fire. Your skin feels hot, and the prolonged eye contact has you squeezing around him as you start to grind against him. You feel lightheaded, breathless, purely at his mercy. 
Carmy holds your gaze through the mirror and you want to commit this photo to memory. You watch your reflections in the mirror, seeing your face change as he speeds up again. His hands are everywhere: in your hair, grabbing you breasts, tracing over the little marks he’s left all over your chest.
 “This how I make you feel? Tell me. Tell me how good I make you feel,” he asks, and you think this is the most vocal he’s been during sex.
“So good, Car,” you’re panting. He grabs a handful of your hair, guiding your head to the side so that he can kiss you. You manage to continue your praise in between wet, sloppy, and desperate kisses, and desperate thrusts between the both of you.
“So fuckin’ good. So high. Like I’ll never come back down.”
He’s satisfied with your answer, feeling more and more confident with each thrust. You can tell he likes it, so you decided, why the hell not?
“You feel incredible inside of me, baby,” you continue, wanting nothing more than to appease him. 
He’s swallowing your moans in his mouth, as he continues to fuck you, your pushing your ass back against him, your hands bracing against the mirror. You see stars as he hits that spot inside of you – the one that makes you let out a sob – and he’s bending you over the counter so that he can find that spot again and again. Carmy presses his forehead against your shoulder as his hands move underneath your skirt once again, rubbing fierce circles around your clit, trying to take you there with him. He knows he won’t last long when you’re moaning his name like that. He looks up for a moment, enjoying the reflection in the mirror a little too much, before sinking his teeth into your shoulder, feeling himself get closer… closer…
You can feel he’s close too, so you say something, something you know will bring him over the edge. 
“Want you to cum inside of me.”
“That what you want? Want me to fill you up? Have me dripping down your legs when any other fucko tries to talk to you tonight. Tries to even fuckin’ look at you…” he asks, his breath ragged and sentences becoming increasingly choppy. 
He's leaving little kisses and bite marks all over your upper back as he continues to fuck you.
“Yes,” you pant, moaning his full name once again. 
“Fffffffuck, baby. That’s so hot,” he stutters, his thrusts becoming more erratic. He grabs a handful of your ass, chasing his high with you. 
You’re squeezing your eyes shut so hard you see stars when he finds that spot again, and you remember that he wanted you to watch. You blink open your eyes, breathless as you take in the image of your boyfriend fucking you from behind. He’s got his forehead resting on your shoulder. You feel the delicious contradiction of pain and pleasure once again, as he sinks his teeth into the soft skin of your shoulder, in the same place from before.
So close. And you're already so tender.
“Carmen. Yes. Right there. Please, baby. Fuck. Don’t stop,” you’re crying out as you as your walls clamp down around him. It’s like an explosion erupts inside of you and you feel that you perhaps are on another fuckin’ plane of existence from the way he makes you feel. 
Your eyes close again as he fucks you through your orgasm, taking you higher and higher. The way your walls are squeezing around him have him on edge and he gives you one, two, and then a third thrust before painting your walls with his release too.
He stops, resting his head on your back again, still buried all the way inside of you.
Both of your heavy pants fill the room, before you interrupt the status quo with a laugh. 
“Holy shit, babe,” you finally say, exasperated and completely fucked out.
He pulls out of you, and you have to put a hand down on the counter he just bent you over, for balance as you stand up straight. You can hear Carmen pulling his pants back up and you’re adjusting your dress as you turn to look at him. His eyes are fixed on the button of his trouser pants, as you grab his face for another long, lust-filled kiss. 
“What do you say… to getting out of here? Maybe continuing this at home?” you propose, your voice hoarse from what you’ve just done. Your forehead is still pressed to his and you want nothing more for him to say ‘yes.’ 
“Fuck yes. Please,” he practically groans, wondering how it’s possible for him to be hard again already. 
“I’ll order a car,” you agree, reaching for where you left your phone on the dressing room counter. 
“Surge rates, babe” he sighs, the disappointment evident in his voice as he issues the little reminder.
You shoot him a look that says ‘you’ve got to be fucking kidding me?’
“I will pay all the surge rates in the world, if I get to have you again, as soon as possible,” you state, and he’s not sure he’s going to be able to wait till you get home.
You glance back down to your phone, your fingers moving quickly through the right buttons to get a car on the way. As soon as you see the confirmation, your swiping out of the app, and over to an unread message:
Sydney: So that was weird. Where did you guys go?
You: Out for some air. Sorry, we’ll be right back in. 
Sydney: Angel wants pizza and a few of us are gonna go. Wanna come with?
You: Think we’re gonna head home. Breakfast tomorrow? My treat. 
Sydney: 100%
You: Congratulations again, friend. Love you. 
“What’s going on?” Carmy asks, as he sees you fiercely texting away. 
“Nothin’,” you answer, seeing the Uber notification popping up on your phone. “Just telling everyone we’re gonna head home.”
You turn your back to the mirror to examine the damage, immediately spotting Carmy’s bite mark on your shoulder. 
“Carmen,” you sigh, fingertips running over the huge bite mark on your shoulder – the one he left when he made while cumming inside of you.
Carmy takes a look, a small smirk on his lips as he sees what you’re referring to. He has to admit that he’s almost… proud of himself as he leans over, leaving a soft kiss against one of the rapidly forming purple bite marks left on the back of your shoulder. 
As much as he’d like to show the entire culinary world that you’re his, he removes the suit jacket he just put back on, and hands it to you. 
“Here. You can wear this.”
You giggle, taking it and appreciating Carmen’s act of chivalry. 
“As much as I’d love to do a walk of shame through a room full of the world’s best chefs… think I’ll keep this one between me and the one that just fucked me,” you joke playfully, as you kiss him as a ‘thank you.’
You check your reflection in the mirror as you drape the coat strategically over your shoulders, making sure you both look somewhat presentable enough to flee the scene with dignity. 
“Carm?” you ask. 
“Before we leave. I just-, I want you to-,” you stammer, uncertain if you’re doing the right thing by telling him. You’d hate to play into Nate’s little game – even if you both won after what just happened. 
“Hmm?”
“Just… you know… for the sake of factual accuracy and not that we’re playing Nate’s game at all but... you and I hooked up first. Nate just doesn’t know that.”
He nods in response, trying not to make it seem like a big deal. 
But it certainly makes him feel better.
“Well, if we’re being factually accurate…” he offers up in response. “I know you always thought our whole rivalry thing was one sided… but it wasn’t.”
“No?”
“Rode that guy as hard as I could, every chance I got,” he confesses, in reference to your old, very toxic work environment. 
“Because he deserved it?” 
“Because I hated how much he flirted with you.”
You shake your head with a small smile. Your phone is buzzing in your hand, letting you know that your Uber has arrived. 
“Let’s get the fuck out of here, Bear.”
2K notes · View notes
neonovember · 11 months
Note
Hello! I hope you’ve been doing okay! I saw that you had requests open and I also saw that you take requests for Carmen? If it’s totally okay of course to request for him! I got into the bear a few days ago and my brain has been filled with nothing but thoughts of Carmy. Would it be okay just requesting something that’s just Carmen being worried/concerned about the reader? He just always sees whenever there’s that tiredness to them when it looks like it’s a bad day, that slump in their shoulders that all too much reminds him of him a little sometimes, just bringing them into the office and his eyebrows are furrowed with that look of concern and his eyes the same, maybe unexpectedly just wrapping them in a hug (Your writing is so cute btw!) 💕
to carry and to bear
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ask, it will be my infinite quest to fulfill! love this request so much and i loved writing is even more. i'm going to be so annoying when s2 comes out, especially since i love carmen's character so much! thank you for your request anon &lt;3
carmen berzatto x reader
warnings: richie (yes he’s a warning), unresolved anxiety, horrible customers, fainting
word count: 5k (short for me lmao)
a/n: you know i love a character when i'm completing fics in under a day..lets pray this momentum keeps going
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Wrapping yourself tight against the chilly wind of the unforgivable Chicago weather, you watch the city coming alive in the early morning as you walk down the concrete sidewalk of the Beef’s city corner.
Merchants and gazebo have begun to set up shop, their bright red vendor stands a stark contrast to the grey haze of the windy city. Corner stores and cafes have begun to uncover their blinds, dusting away the sliver of droplets that had long since evaporated after a heavy downpour the night before.
it’s slow though.
The mass of cars and yellow cabbed taxis haven’t yet filled the gravel roads, and the surging rush of traffic and uncontrollable road rage the beef windows have been accustomed to viewing hasn't filled the air.
The pinch of cold begins to itch against the cracks in your outerwear. Your trusted winter jacket and gloves had been left at the bottom of your laundry basket and instead you were forced to throw on a flimsy polyester jacket that provided absolutely no warmth. 
Your fingers are stuffed into your pocket, trying to hide them from the cold but it is no use. They shake against the freezing air of wind as you push past huddles of men chain smoking and passing coolers of steaming coffee on street corners.
You’re about to go ask for a cup, despite Carmen's disgruntled comments of their huddled group festering near the restaurant. They were a pack of wolves, and whilst Sydney's sandwiches had fended them off for a while, the hole in the Beef’s window was still fresh. Like a cycle, more and more had begun to trickle in from alleyways, leading to customers steering clear from the nearby streets. 
Carmen didn’t even like you walking to work this early, you get it, despite being daylight, Chicago had a way of defying social norms. You had paid some attention to the increase in robbing and attacks that had begun to frequent news reports.
It wouldn't have been a problem, walking was always voluntary for you as you had a perfectly fine working car that would drive you to and from your destination with as little as a rumble from its engine. And yet, that seemingly perfect car decided to break down on you this morning, leading to an overheated engine and a smoke filled hood.
So not only did you have to pay for a towing truck to drag away your car to an auto shop you couldn't afford to afford, but you were late. And you hated being late.
Not to mention your sister had called you late last night, asking to stay for a couple nights after her good for nothing boy-friend you would rather call a child had kicked her out after a fight.
She had rambled for nothing short of 2 hours after you had gotten home from the Beef late last night, and the pull of sleep had begun to weigh on you. The exhaustion and deprivation had written itself in the slug of your limbs and the slump of your shoulders.
You had to come in today, there were no rest days even if the Beef wasn't neck deep in debt and Cicero didn't have you all on a leash. Especially if you wouldn't allow yourself one. You had that in common with Carmen, you frequently ignored your own needs for your craft, the same insatiable passion and need for perfection driving you to exhaustion. 
The familiar chime of the Beefs wooden doors hit your ears, and you shake off the cold of the city streets, the Beef is warm and you're grateful, sighing as the heat of prepped ovens and oiled pans defrosts your face. 
It takes a second before you walk into the busy kitchen when the sound finally reaches you. The screeching sound of Richie's voice bickers with Tina about the next door convenient store being turned into a “pretentious hipster coffee shop that is legally selling dog water to unassuming Chicagoans”.
Dragging on and on about the invasion of gentrification that will soon take out all the good businesses that had been around since his grandfather had come from Sicily. Richie was not from Siciliy. In which Carmen mirrors your thoughts and yells that he is not Italian, and his obsession with the European country has been bordering on creepy.
Ebra is reciting an article about a culinary student that had gone rogue and murdered their entire class, giving pointers on how he himself had to patch up an entire unit of people stabbed by a bent corkscrew. The loud conversations and untethered yelling across the kitchen combines with the malfunctioning arcade that has begun to re-circuit the same sentence for 20 minutes now, digs a deep burrow into your temple.
You stand at the entrance of the kitchen, watching the commotion of early morning prep with a tight grimace, your head begins to vibrate a little, the start of a headache you won’t be relieved from spreading and you have to swallow down the exhaustion that begins to seep in at the sight. 
Sydney brushes past you, greeting you with a hello and one of her charming smiles before muttering about throwing that arcade machine out the back. You giggle and it hurts, but you do it anyway because, fuck, you would help her.
You step into the kitchen, and the crew each turn to greet you good morning as you walk past them into the locker bay stuffing your bag and shoes into the cabinet before quickly changing. 
Your phone reads 7am and you stuff it into the pocket of your hung jacket before slamming the locker shut. Carmen peeks his head around the corner, nodding at you as you put on your non-slip shoes, calling your name when you don't notice, you flinch before peering up and Carmen waves trying to get your attention.
“Mornin’ chef, didn’t think you were coming in” Carmen remarks, raising his eyebrows as he leans his shoulder against the wall. 
“Morning, yeah, sorry about that, uh- shit happened and I had to deal with it all at once. Won;t happen again” You reply, biting back a yawn, before letting your feet fall to the ground.
“It’s all good,” Carmen replies, nodding, wiping his hand on the white towel hanging on his shoulder that was already smudged with stains.
“Just shoot me a text or call next time, yeah?” Carmen replies 
“Will do chef” You reply, smiling, before peering out to see Sydney carrying a basket of  ingredients
“New recipe?” You ask, nodding towards Sydney, and Carmen nods, running a hand through his curls as he leans forward.
“Well call it trying something. Not yet finished, just needs some minor tweaks here and there” Carmen replies
“I can help Sydney out if you want?” You reply without a second thought.
You already had prep and a marinade you had to make for Cicero’s function he had conveniently told Carmen about the night before, but helping out was second nature to you, it was a part of this family's culture.
Carmen shakes his head, his eyes falling to your slumped shoulder, and the slow but tight blinks you tended to do when you were exhausted.
The second he had peered his head around the corner and saw the slug of your limbs he knew something was up, but he also knew he couldn't force you to relax, you were worse than him, always taking on so much, filling up your cup until it was overflowing.
“No, no, it’s alright, besides, that marinade isn’t going to be easy, I should be asking if you want me to help out” Carmen replies, chuckling, scratching his neck as you curve your mouth into that smile he loves so much. You could be half-dead and he still stares at you like you were the most gorgeous thing he's ever seen.
“I think I’ve got it handled. I remember having to make something similar back at Le Bleu, you just got to get the temperature right or the entire thing gets spoiled. Having more than one person just makes it more confusing. besides, don't you have that meeting with the vendor today?” You reply, and Carmen sighs, nodding
“Yep, hopefully this place looks stable enough to get him to sign, you know I can’t deal with corporate bullshit. Sydney should’ve met up with them, fuck any one other than me” Carmen replies, shaking his head as he fidgets with the hem of his apron.
Despite his numerous accolades, and world renowned talent, he only ever felt at nature in the kitchen. High function parties and elusive dinner bars were things he despised, feeling out of place despite it being thrown in his name.
“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself, you're the face of this place Carmen, you’ve transformed it, you oughta show them the Beef is the best investment they’ll make. Hell you’re the best investment they can make” You reply, and Carmen ears perk at your reply, smiling fondly at your comment. He didn't deserve your praise, and he hated the way the sound of your lips curving around his name shoots through him.
“Are y'all going to get to work or continue eye fucking?” Richie calls, as he passes by the locker bay, and Carmen immediately shakes his head muttering a fuck you before nodding to you, and heading back to his station. You get up from your seated position on the bench, dusting and ironing out the creases in your apron before mentally going over the things you had to complete before opening.
Prep vegetables, then start the veal stock for Cicero's marinade. You had to complete it early, since it had to be chilled for at least 5 hours, any less and the fat would congeal and turn into a complete mess you didn’t have time to fix.
You walk towards your station, stepping over sauce that had spilled onto the tile floors, this crew was amazing in their craft, but god were they messy. You bump shoulders with Sydney as you begin to grate and cut root vegetables and herbs, you have to force your eyes open, blinking several times before dipping your hand into an ice water bucket and wiping your face with it.
Sydney converses with you, and it wasn't that she was boring, in fact you both frequently spend time even out of the restaurant as friends. But you can’t even try to decipher what she says, just sounds coming out of her mouth that you pack away in order to get your job done. 
Just cut the vegetables, finish the stock, cut the vegetables, finish the stock, you repeat it like a mantra in your head, unaware at Sydney calling your name. She reaches forward, pressing a soft hand to your shoulder to get your attention.
“Hey, did you hear me?” Sydney replies, concern written across her features as she peers at your disoriented state.
“Huh? Sorry, what did you say?” You reply, avoiding her gaze. You feel her penetrate through you, pitying the exhaustion on your face, probably realising you were a shit chef who couldn't even handle a couple responsibilities.
“I was asking if you could grab me some of the sauce I made yesterday from the storage fridge. You alright? You seem a bit..” Sydney starts, before you cut her off quickly
“Just had a long night, didn't get much sleep” You reply, rubbing your eyes with a hand. What has gotten into you? You weren't foreign to a few sleepless nights and a few too many deadlines you had to meet, hell your entire college and culinary life had been exactly that.
“That’ll kill you, you know” Richie butts in, reaching for a crab cake Sydney had prepared before being swatted away with a wooden spoon.
“What?” You ask, already regretting asking Richie to elaborate on what was clearly some elaborated story he had got stored away
“Go without that good old shut eye a few nights too long and you'll start hallucinating shit, not fucking with you you, don’t you know about the Russian sleep experiment-?” Richie rambles
“Ah here we go” Sydney replies, rolling her eyes 
“You think because you went to Paris or whatever prestigious tight ass school you know everything? It’s real, happened right after World War 2, Russians got a bunch of people and just made them not sleep for like months, they starting turning into fuckin' aliens and shit-” Richie continues, ignoring Sydney's sly remarks about Richie's facebook usage.
“Richie c’mon, you know that shits made up” You reply
“Don’t matter, didn’t I tell you about my week long bender during college? Starting seeing my great aunt from the corner of my eye, and I swear she is still there-” Richie replies before getting cut off my Carmen calling his name
“Stop distracting my chefs Cousin” 
You chuckle, shaking your head as Richie mutters about the fall of democracy and wipe your hands across your towel.
“I’ll go get your sauce Syd” You reply, and she smiles in gratitude as you turn towards the storage room. The cold air of the fridge wakes you up a little, and you rest your head against the door of the storage fridge, sighing in frustration. Talking to Richie was exhausting in itself, and when you were already running only fumes and second hand smoke you felt like it took the last bit of energy you had left.
You grab the container of sauce written with “DO NOT TOUCH” on its front, it's wrapped in cling film, with no lid and you're careful not to drop it everywhere. It wasn’t heavy, per se, just filled to the brim and without careful steps it was close to tipping out. You walk out of the storage room carefully, before turning towards your station.
“Corner!” You yell, twisting around the corner of the kitchen, before you slam straight into a tall body, jerking back and inadvertently spilling the sauce all across the kitchen floor and onto your shoes. You feel it sink into your socks and drip down your apron, eye twitching in frustration as Marcus starts apologising profusely, you ignore him, dropping down to your knees and reaching for paper towels. You start wiping away the sauce, as Marcus drops down to your level and tries to help, you shake our head looking up at him.
“Stop, Marcus, just stop. I can do it” You reply
“But-” Marcus protests
“We don't need two chefs to clean up a one person job, alright? You need to finish prep” You reply, letting the towels soak up the sauce. You grieve for Sydney, not all of it had spilt, but a quarter of a container wasn’t enough to get through the morning rush, let alone the entire day.
You ignore the spilt sauce all over your clothes, you didn’t have time to change now, rushing back to your station before telling Sydney about the spill
“You serious? I thought I could leave early today, got a friend's birthday” Sydney replies, pinching the bridge of her nose.
You instantly feel guilty, you should've been more careful, and now Sydney would have to pay for it.
“Hey, I got it, let me take that new recipe off your plate. That gives you enough time to get to the party?” You reply
Sydney looks up, rising her eyebrows “No, no I couldn’t possibly ask you to” 
“Nonsense, I owe you anyway, remember when I had to leave halfway through the morning to get my sister?” You reply, with a tired smile before Sydney wraps her arms around you, you rub a hand across her back. You can’t really feel her arms around you, it’s like all your senses are delayed, you ignore it as you get back to work, now with another task on your plate.
You finish chopping the vegetables after a short while, usually you were the fastest in the house, but today you lagged behind, finally carrying the vegetables to Carmen who looked at you strange, his eyes staring through you, he swallowed like he was going to say something as you walked away, before stopping and continuing stirring the stock on the stove
By the time the Beef opens, you're still elbow deep in work, you've stayed silent most of the time, waving off Marcus’s apology and instead working, not stopping since you started. You skipped breakfast, and you hadn't gotten a chance to eat, and just when you're about to make yourself something, Richie calls your name from the front counter.
You walk towards the front of the Beef, wiping stains on your apron to look a little presentable to the outside world. Richie stands at the register, flicking a pen in his hand, a look of annoyance on his face.
“What's up?” You ask Richie, as a tall man dressed down in a polo sweater and khakis stares down at you in anger. He’s familiar, someone you had served when Richie had to take his smoke break, and he scrutinises you as you smile at him.
That’s the only way you could communicate with these people, any hint of anger and you’d be written of as angry and unable to control your emotions, you lost your last job because you defended yourself anyway.
“This guy said he came in and you made him something he apparently didn't like, but finished anyway” Richie replies, a knowing look passes between you both and you sigh, you don't have time for this. 
“Morning Sir, May I ask what’s the problem” You ask politely
“You suggested to me a dish from the menu, alright, YOU, not me, so don't go blaming me for this, and look what I got, not only does it have nuts, which i hate, it's spicy. Way too spicy, I want a refund, NOW” The man replies, seething, his yelling catches the attention of other patrons, and Richie begins to reach under the table for a bat.
“Well, you finished it all so I don’t know what you-” You begin before the man cuts you off loudly
“Do you think I give a shift what you think? Huh? Jesus fucking Christ, see you just need to do what I fucking say, not argue. Give me a refund before I get you fired from this shit hole you dumb stupid-” The man yells, loudly before Carmen's booming voice cuts him off
“I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you” Carmen replies, clenching his jaw in way that told you he was trying to hold back the rage from spilling out
“Who the fuck are you?” The man asks
“I own this shit hole you piece of shit, and if you don't get the fuck out of my restaurant I'm going to break every single bone in your face with my bare hands". 
“Excuse me?”
Carmen laughs, shaking his head before smiling at the man
“I told you”
Carmen drags the man by his collar, throwing him onto the sidewalk and dragging his body to the alleyway, you fear what he is going to do and Richie raises his eyebrows in astonishment.
“Well shit cousin, you ain't a pussy after all” Richie mutters under his breath
You can faintly hear the sound of splitting skin and the crack of bone, before Carmen storms back into the restaurant, eyeing all the patrons who are following his every move.
“Y'all got that? Anyone mess with my people hear and your walk out on a fucking stretcher” Carmen replies still seething with anger, before Richie claps loudly as Carmen walks back behind the desk.
“Call a fucking ambulance” Carmen replies, rolling his eyes at Richie before he walks towards you, the the tension immediately leaving him as he find your safe and away from that man.
“You alright? He didn't hurt you or anything?” Carmen asks in concern, his eyes darting across your body to see any imagined injuries
“It seems you should be asking him that question” You reply, nudging towards the alley of the Bear, chuckling as you shake your head.
“You didn't have to do that you know, iIcould have-” You start
Carmen looks down at you in concern, shaking his head as he places his hand on you shoulder
“Could've what? He was screaming in your face and I wasn't about to let him think that shit was okay, god, how could you not react?” Carmen replies, looking down at you in concern, shaking his head as he places a hand on your shoulder.
“I’m just so busy, I still- Fuck, i still got to get Cicero's marinade in the fridge, and i need to start on Syd’s broth” You mutter pressing your fingertips to your temples.
“What? You’re doing Sydney’s load as well? Hey, you need to sit down a second” Carmen replies, as you begin to walk back towards the kitchen, with Carmen hot on your heels, asking you to stop and turn to him.
You hear him call your name, but the mountain of tasks that were now even later due to that customer had begun to seize your consciousness.
All you could focus on was the dishes you needed to make and the pain in your temples that had begun to spread down, your vision getting fuzzy around the edges as you try and shake yourself awake.
“Dammit, listen to me! Stop cutting fucking vegetables and listen to me” Carmen yells at you for the first time, twisting your body to face him and you spit out in anger
“What?!” 
“What’s gotten into you today?” Carmen replies, yelling
And you don't know why, but that question breaks something in you, and you can't help but let out a short chuckle. Carmen looks down at you in horror, trying to reach for you, to catch you when the inevitable happens and you look at him once before it does.
Before your vision begins to blur and the edges begin to burn like a flame, you try and catch yourself, but it’s too late and you fall into Carmen's arms, wrapped up against his chest as you crash.
Carmen gathers you in his arms, his heart breaking beneath his breasts, holding his sweet girl in his arms as the streams of tears dampen his shirt. The rest of the crew watch on in concern, and Carmen shoes them away as he carries your unconscious body to the office.
“What the fuck Cousin?” Richie calls
“Hey, hey, is she alright? What -what happened?” Sydney replies in horror as she watches Carmen carry you from the kitchen. 
“What happened was, ya'll did fuck all when she was practically breaking down trying to finish everyone else's fucking mess. What happened? Are you fucking serious? If i wasn't there, she would’ve fainted into a burning skillet of your fucking vegetables Sydney” Carmen replies, shaking his head, the entire crew goes silent, the only sounds coming from the beeps of ovens and stove tops, and the sizzling of burning food.
Carmen goes quiet, as he assesses your state, there is something unwritten in the way he holds you, and he blinks tight, his face twitching a little as if he had to make sure you were in his arms, the only place he wanted you to be.
“Get back to work” Carmen replies, quietly, a stark contrast to his rage from before, the crew has never seen him like this, his eyes and focus on you, as if he has been seized by this responsibility and dying need to protect you. He can hardly breathe, his arms shaking as he stares down at your sullen and tired face.
“We need-” Marcus starts before Carmen shakes his head
“No, no, enough. Sydney will hold down the fort, this is my responsibility. Get. back to work.” Carmen replies
—-
Carmen wastes no time to gently place your body onto the scuffed office couch, pressing a hand to your head, before reaching for an ice cold container of water, dipping a towel into it before gently pressing it to your forehead.
Carmen shakes his head in anger, he should've seen this coming, he should've noticed from the slump of your shoulder and your one word answers that you were stretching yourself too thin.
Carmen tortures himself as he replays the moments before you fainted into his arms. The way your features twisted into a sob, and the lasts shred of resolve snapped, and you had reached for him, you had reached for him.
You had reached for Carmen when you fell, and something in him broke when he had caught you.
Carmen had been used to his own self-destruction, but as he rested his thumb, rubbing circles and wiping away the tears on your face, he wished himself to change, not just for him, but for you. How could he? How could you be such a poor example to you? This was his own fault, and the reality of that conclusion twists like a knife to his gut.
His sweet girl, his Sunshine, who had thought the needs of this goddamn sandwich shop was more important than her own. You begin to stir in his arms, and the tension and shake of his arms begins to release as you wake up, Carmen eases you into consciousness when you begin to panic.
“Hey hey, I’m right here, you're okay, you're okay” Carmen replies softly, and you squeeze your eyes tightly, trying to understand what had happened and why you felt like your body was filled with lead.
"What, what happened” You reply, looking across the location of the office.
“You fainted, and I carried you to the office because you are not going back into that kitchen” Carmen replies, sitting up from his slumped position.
You stay quiet,  confusion lacing your features as you shake your head. You fainted? How did that even happen? You had never fainted in your entire life.
Carmen peers at you, his eyes dancing across your face as your silence frightens him, he wouldn't even recognise you, your usual bubbly, and incredibly chirpy self was not replaced by someone who was so exhausted they couldn’t stay conscious.
“You gotta talk to me baby girl, please, look at me, you can tell me, you can tell me anything” Carmen replies, softly, caressing your hand with his thumb when it begins to shake.
You look up at him, his expression of worry and concern causing your features to twist,
“I um, I’m just a little tired” You reply, the beginning of tears choking you, causing your words to rush out as  you try to stop yourself but it is fruitless, and Carmen eyebrows kind of pinch, he kind of frowns a little as he looks at you in that way.
It's all it takes before you sob, and sink into the coach. Carmen gathers you once again in his arms, and scoops your legs so that they lay across his thighs, and your head rests against his collarbone.
“I know baby, I know, I’m sorry, Oh honey I am so sorry” Carmen replies, rubbing your back as you let the last of your resolve sink into his chest, the cry of your tears leaving you speechless.
You can’t stop crying, the cup spilling over and making a big whole mess, snot and tears and heartache and exhaustion dirties Carmen's chef whites and you can't help but grip onto him like he is the only thing tethering you to Earth.
You don’t have to tell Carmen then, he knew the second you walked in, and he knows now when you hold him. There's a certain grief Carmen feels when he looks at you and sees himself, and in a way this is for Carmen too.
You sit like this for a while, you and Carmen. Wrapped in his arms as you lay across his lap, long after the tears had run dry, where you are left with hiccups and the soothing touch of Carmen's hand across your back.
It feels like you two are the only people on earth. Everything is Carmen; its all you smell, all you feel against your skin, all you hear as he whispers into you ear. No one dares to step into the office doors, even when an hour ticks by, even when the trickle of customers turns into a downpour and the orders never end, the family knows that you need this, that your health was better than money, or happy customers and fuck all.
Even after you have cried your eyes out, the responsibility of work begins to weigh on your body, you still had so much to do with so little time
“But the marinade, and- and Sydney's” You begin before Carmen cuts you off with a soft squeeze.
“Richie’ll handle it, and if he doesn't Cicero can go fuck himself. You really think I’m going to let that override you right now? Just forget about the kitchen alright, can you do that for me, pretty girl?” Carmen replies
You nod, the burden that had exhausted you to sickness lifted from your shoulders. You look towards the clock and realise the vendors were coming soon to meet with Carmen, something he couldn’t miss.
“The vendors, aren't they-”
“They came in 3 hours early, it's why it took me so long to get to you when that asshole was throwing a fit” Carmen replies, knowing what you were asking for.
You peek at him in question “Well?”
“They signed.” Carmen replies, rolling eyes and smiling at your delighted squeal
“What did I tell you? Carmen Berzatto is more than-” You start before a yawn stretches through you.
“Alright, alright, enough talking from you. When’s the last time you ate?” Carmen asks
You stop and scratch your head, trying to think and you laugh a little when you can’t remember.
“I don't know” You reply
Carmen’s eye twitches, and he smiles down at you before easing you off his thighs and onto the coach. 
“What- what are you doing?” You ask, not even trying to hide the sadness in your voice. You already miss the heat of his chest warm against your cheek.
Carmen smiles softly as he looks down at you, threaded a hand through his head as he wipes down the creases on his apron.
“I’m making you something”
“What? No it’s- it’s okay I’ll eat at family” You reply, reaching a hand out to him
Carmen reaches for your palm, pressing a soft kiss on your the skin of your knuckles before reaching down to kiss the top of your head.
“No you need to eat now, alright? You're going to sleep the rest of the day, and then, and then, you're coming back to my place so I can keep an eye on you. You gonna listen to me or protest?” Carmen replies, eyebrow raised as he crosses his arms. His voice drops down an octane, like it was a command, and you have to bite back the desire floating in your stomach at the way he looks down with his eyes all heavy from above. 
“Okay, alright, whatever you say Chef” You reply with a smile, and Carmen sinks his teeth into his bottom lip when you say it like that.
“Just wait a sec” Carmen replies, and as he is about to leave you call for him again
“What are you even making, half the ingredients are gone” 
“It’s no problem, it’s your recipe anyway” Carmen replies, with a hint of a smile on his face before he leaves the room. It takes you a while, half because you're exhausted and the other half because you're hungry before the realisation hits you that he's made a recipe for you, about you. 
You can't help the smile that stretches across your face, goddamnit Carmen Berzatto, and you say you aren't a romantic.
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angelcakestarlet · 3 months
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salvatore
richie jerimovich x reader - richie makes carmy regret hiring the cute young waitress
wrote dis quick, messy, nd did not look over it but enjoy! :>
"so um look, natalie is going to be training you this week alright" carmy informs you as he sifts through a pile of papers scattering his desk. "you ever serve before?", "for a few months yeah, it's been getting me through college so" you twiddle your thumbs nervously. the restaurant was certainly... intimidating? going to school in chicago you had stopped by a couple times for lunch or drunk off your ass after the club. even while slurring your words you could remember how fucking good that sandwich was. even if most of it was puked up in the bushes out front.
"yo, cousin!" an abrasive voice comes stumbling through carmy's office door without warning, "sugar is out here telling me some bullshit about you hiring servers? look we don't need that shit. a sandwich comes out i fucking hand it to them, boom. why are you gonna pay some dipshit to do it for me?". you turn around to face the loud voice, being met with a tall, tan, buzzcut typical line cook with a deep accent. "jesus fucking christ, one of these 'dipshits' is standing in front of you richie." carmy yells back, obviously pained to have you witness that. "ah shit-" richie steps back to get a full length view of you, taking you in. his gaze felt like an intrusion. "i'm sorry, doll, richie jerimovich." he envelopes your hand in his calloused and rough one, introducing himself. "you know what i'm sorry, cousin, anyone with a set of eyes would hire her too" he snickers, with his hand still atop yours he takes his eyes away from you to acknowledge carmen. "cousin, get the fuck out, you fucking creep!" signaling for the door. "oh my god" richie sighs dramatically, "i'm stating the fucking obvious alright, you need marcus to come in here to tell you the same thing? yo, marcus!" carmen rushes to shove richie out the door, "i'm sorry, i couldn't help myself! look, you're beautiful, sweetheart!" he lets out one last compliment. you giggle to yourself and the man making a spectacle of himself.
carmen shuts the office door and sighs, rubbing his forehead with his tired hand. "i'm sorry, he's... he's a fucking jagoff." you appreciate the apology, but having worked in a restaurant has you accustomed to the snickers and comments from line cooks and customers alike. most of the girls usually brush it off, leaving them disgusted and a distaste for the job for the next few hours. but, your guilty pleasure has become using it to your benefit. free food from cooks, more money from tips, etc. you're sure you could work richie to your benefit just the same. "don't worry about it, he seems... nice" your ease settles carmy and he snickers, "you could say that i guess".
you follow natalie around the restaurant for the next few hours as she takes you through the front of the house and back, introducing you to everyone and all the standards. when five o clock hits, she lets you go, handing you an apron, a t-shirt. and a name tag. thanking her and setting out to find the back alley for a quick ciggy. you find richie lighting a cigarette in the dimly lit alley, "can i bum a cigarette?" you sit down beside him, smelling the smoke clinging to his shirt. "its your first day and you're asking me for shit?" he looks over at you and you notice his evident wrinkles, veins in his neck, and tired eyes. "pretty please?" you look up at him, turning your whole body to face him with a sweet smile on your face. he rolls his eyes playfully, "you know what you're doing huh?" he says as he pulls one more cigarette from its box. "open." you scrunch your eyebrows, confused at his request. his eyes shift to your lips, taking two fingers and tapping your cheek signaling for you to open your mouth. "come on," you separate your lips and he places a cigarette between them, lighting it swiftly. you feel your cheeks get warm, from the cigarette or from his words you don't know (yes you do). "thank you" you say quietly, still stunned a bit. "you know you're gonna ruin that sweet face smoking" he coughs through the lit cigarette. "oh are you telling me what to do now, richie?" you lean back, eyes entranced by the way his hands make the cigarette almost look like a lollipop stick. "a girl like you is probably looking for someone to tell her what to do, sweetheart". as you're trying to figure out whether that just pissed you off or turned you on, carmy bursts through the back door. "cousin, what the fuck are you doing?! we need you in the kitchen, now please! and leave the new girl alone, jesus" carmy yells as richie stomps on what's left of his cigarette and puts his hands up in defense. "i'm coming, fuck off. it was a pleasure, babe" he shakes your hand and makes his way inside. you peer at the closed door, listening to the muffled argument carmy and richie have in front of it. great first day.
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aestheticaltcow · 2 months
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Social Media Manager
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Hiring a social media manager sounded stupid to Carmy. He still thinks it's stupid, but it seems to be good for business.
~
Social media reader x Carmy?
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miley1442111 · 10 days
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tortured poets department masterlist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
fortnight (featuring finnick odair)
tortured poets department (featuring spencer reid)
my boy only breaks his favourite toys (featuring aaron hotchner)
down bad (featuring jj maybank)
so long, london (featuring robert 'bob' floyd)
but daddy i love him (featuring rafe cameron)
fresh out the slammer (featuring aaron hotchner)
flordia!!! (featuring bucky barnes)
guilty as sin? (featuring aaron hotchner)
who's afraid of little old me? (featuring spencer reid)
who's afraid of little old me? (featuring carmen berzatto)
i can fix him (no i really can)- (featuring carmen berzatto)
loml (featuring peter parker)
i can do it with a broken heart (featuring sydcarmy)
the smallest man that ever lived (featuring derek morgan)
the alchemy (featuring jake 'hangman' seresin)
clara bow (featuring emily prentiss)
the black dog (featuring spencer reid)
imgonnagetyouback (featuring bradley 'rooster' bradshaw)
the albatross (featuring steve rogers)
chloe or sam or sophie or marcus (featuring sydney adamu)
how did it end? (featuring aaron hotchner)
so high school (featuring spencer reid)
i hate it here (featuring luca from the bear)
thank you aiMee (featuring natasha 'phoneix' trace)
i look in people's windows (featuring robert 'bob' floyd)
the prophecy (featuring aaron hotchner)
cassandra (featuring rafe cameron)
peter (featuring pope heyward)
the bolter (featuring spencer reid)
robin (featuring carmen berzatto)
the maunscript (featuring bucky barnes)
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thefanficmonster · 2 months
Note
Not sure if ur accepting requests for the bear.. but could we maybe get a Mikey x reader where she finds out she's pregnant after he died (big angst tbh) and she comes to the restaurant a mess and tells everyone and it's sad but everyone's shocked or something idk if that makes sense lol, thanks
Ahhh the angst! My favorite genre to write 🙈 Thank you so much for the request, darling! I hope you enjoy the fic 💌
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Too Much, Too Late
Michael 'Mikey' Berzatto x Reader (Female) [The Bear]
Warnings: Mentioned Suicide, Mentioned Past Drug Abuse (dealing and consuming), Pregnancy, Swearing, SPOILERS for The Bear
Genre: ANGST, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Angst with a happy ending
Summary: see request above
It was a job like any other. It was supposed to be one of those briskly-in-swiftly-out deals. All you had to do was keep it on the down low, distribute your products, get your pay and leave.
However, that didn't happen exactly as planned.
"Why are you in such a rush, sweetheart?" You found yourself accosted by a man who was very clearly three sheets to the wind already. The redness of his eyes, the dilated pupils and the alcohol on his breath suggested he was under several influences. Still, none of that was any justification for his borderline sleazy behavior. "Why don't you accompany me in blowing through this, huh?" He held up the baggie he'd just bought off you, causing you to roll your eyes.
In another setting, preferably under vastly different circumstances you would've probably found him attractive and would even like to uphold a conversation with him. Then again, in those ideal circumstances you imagine he wouldn't have been nearly as obnoxious as he was being in that moment.
Besides, you had a strict rule against participating in drugs with your clients. Or just drugs, period. Anything stronger than weed, that is.
You wanted to get him off your back as soon as possible so, instead of shutting him down in your typical cut-throat manner, you decided to let him down slowly and vanish before his object permanence kicked in. "Another time, pal. I have a busy night ahead."
It worked like a charm anytime someone tried to sweep you off your feet.
However, none of those other occasions had any follow-up. This one, on the other hand....
"Hey."
You had been caught up in your thoughts, making a mental itinerary for the next few days worth of deliveries when a voice startled you out of your tranquility.
It was the following morning and you were headed to the dumpster that was your plug's house - if you could even call it that.
Looking up, you couldn't help but frown at the sight of the 'flirt' from last night standing on the porch of your plug's house, leanings against the fence, smoking a cigarette.
"Hi?" The word came out automatically, a notation of confusion to it which made him smile.
"I don't know if you not remembering me is for better or for worse. I understand I came off a bit....gross last night." His unoccupied hand clasped around the back of his neck, an apologetic half-smile on his lips.
Despite being puzzled by the predicament, you found yourself chuckling, "No, no, I remember you. And don't worry about it, you were pretty tame compared to other shitbags I've had to deal with."
Your wording made him let out a laugh, "Yeah, 'shitbag' sums me up nicely."
Realizing how your words were poorly transmitted, you hurried to correct yourself, "No! That's not what I..."
He laughed yet again, amused by the blush that had crept onto your cheeks, "I know, I'm just fucking with you." He flashed you a charming smile as he tossed his cigarette and offered you his hand, "I'm Michael, by the way, but everyone calls me Mikey."
You were surprised by your own lack of hesitation as you took it, "Y/N, nice to meet you, Mikey."
What did surprise you was his smooth gesture - bringing the back of your hand to his lips, pressing a quick kiss to your knuckles. You could see relief flood his features when you only scoffed in amusement. "Hope you don't mind, I asked around about you at the party last night. You're quite the phantom, you know. Nobody knew anything except your plug and it was a whole other hassle having to track him down."
You would've been lying if you said you didn't find his effort flattering. "Why go through all that trouble?"
There was that charming smile once more, now accompanied by a wink, "Cause that ain't a face you simply forget, darling."
That's how it all started, three years ago. But you can hardly remember any of it now. Everything has quickly been overshadowed by the tragedy that rocked your world.
Losing the love of your life. No one and nothing can ever prepare you for such a thing. No one can take away or aid the pain it brings on. No one can tell you how to move on, if you ever will. No two grieving processes are the same and yours has been very quiet. Too quiet. You can't even remember if you've cried since you found out a week ago. You can't remember having spoken to anyone since that dreadful phone call.
It's all been building up, piling on - the calm before the storm.
And the storm has just crashed down on you, tears finally spilling over past the barrier you're able to hold them at. Sobs scratch up your throat, racking your ribcage, echoing back at you off the bathroom walls. All the agony, all the pain, the regret, the guilt the grief - it all spills out in those harrowing sobs as tears stream down your face, falling onto the sink counter and pregnancy test on it.
The positive pregnancy test.
"No, no, no...." You mumble to yourself in despair, unsure of what exactly you're saying no to.
You don't even have time to process how you feel about it, if you want it, whether you're happy about it or not. All that's plaguing your mind is the gnawing thought of what if?
What if you'd found out two weeks earlier? What if you told him? What if that changed his mind? Would you still have him by your side if he knew he'd be a dad? Would this be a reason for joy and excitement for the two of you? Having your own little family, fucked up in its own way but miles better than your individual families.
You never met his, he never met your. Unlike him, though, you haven't seen your folks in years, five to be exact. He put up with his, you had cut off yours.
You're well versed into his family and their dynamics though, thanks to all the stories Mikey told you throughout the years. You specifically remember him talking about his siblings with such adoration. Natalie and Carmen. The only supposedly sane ones of the bunch.
Wiping the tears off your burning red cheeks, you regain control of your breathing, effectively calming yourself down as you take a long look at yourself in the mirror. You will yourself to put a hand over your belly, taking a moment to let the realization of there being a living thing inside you sink in.
Your and Mikey's baby.
A baby that'll never know the wonderful man that is their dad.
"Don't worry, baby. If they don't want us, we'll always have each other."
* * * * *
After a sleepless night, you find yourself struggling not to nod off on the train.
You thought you'd feel a lot more....well, something more as you approach the inevitable meeting with Mikey's brother. Instead, you're quite numb, immune to whatever you might be faced with once you arrive at the restaurant. Nothing he might say or do can faze you, not after the week you've had. Though you're pretty sure his hasn't been any better. He lost his brother after all. It could be a point of mutual understanding for the two of you or a point of collision and apperhension.
Only one way to find out.
You're surprised by the sheer boldness with which you enter the sandwich shop. Again, you thought you might exhibit at least mild hesitation but you have never been prone to such reservations. You still do things like you used to back in your dealer days - briskly-in-swiftly-out.
This is no different.
Upon entry, the interior feels familiar. You've been here only twice before, always after closing, snuck in by Mikey as a date night. He'd cook for you while you DJed with the restaurant sound system in the office. It was the peak of romance in your relationship.
Never once did you think one day you'd be coming in alone, during work hours, the memories bringing tears to your eyes.
You push the pain to the backburner when a waiter approaches you. "Welcome, what can I get ya?"
You force the closest thing to a smile you can manage, "Carmen Berzatto, if possible."
Just then, as if on cue, sounds of chaos flood out from the kitchen into the seating area. It doesn't really seem to bother any of the three tables enjoying their meal, but you are certainly a little shocked. You remember Mikey mentioning shit would get chaotic in back of house, but you'd never imagined it'd be this bad.
The waiter casually peers over his shoulder, pressing his lips in a thin line, "I can't promise you anything but I'll go ask. Who's asking for him?" He inquires, already uneasy at the thought of what he'll be met with in the kitchen.
"Mikey's girlfriend." You watch, in real time, as the poor guy's eyes hollow out in shock, his eyebrows raising impossibly high.
Despite being rattled by your response, he manages to clear his throat and murmur a quick, "Please wait here" before disappearing out of view.
Less than a minute later, the door to the kitchen swung open again, the man emerging from the kitchen shocking you with his lack of resemblance to Michael. Fair hair, bright blue eyes, overall soft features whereas Mikey was all sharp edges, dark brown hair and chocolate eyes.
He too, quite like his brother, is doing a poor job masking his confusion as he offers you a tattooed hand as a greeting, "Hi."
You take it, "Hi."
The rowdiness picks up yet again, causing Carmy to motion for you to follow him, "It's a little too loud in here." You nod and follow suit as he leads you out through a back exit to a fenced of area. He shuts the door, drowning out most of the noise before he turns back to face you, "Alright, tell me everything."
It takes all the will you have coupled with all the pride within you not to let yourself shed any tears as you sum up five of the best years of your life in front of this stranger. It gets especially hard when you see his eyes gloss over but you manage to keep it together. Your chest feels somewhat lighter once you bare one of the biggest secrets in your life, knowing there cannot be any repercussions now.
Because...well...he's gone.
"Fuck..." Is all Carmy can say to break the silence after you've concluded your story. His gaze is trained on the ground, his hand cupped around his mouth. He suddenly lifts his head to look at you, making you feel a little too exposed. Those eyes stare right through you. "Why didn't he ever tell us about you?"
You shrug, you have no real answer. You don't know why he would tell them but you're none the wiser as to why he didn't tell them either. So, you just stay quiet.
He nods, pausing for a second to collect his thoughts before speaking up again, "I-I gotta ask...did you suspect anything? Like, did you see any signs?"
You were expecting this. That doesn't mean it hurts any less to actually hear him ask it. You force yourself to inhale a shaky breath before replying, speaking around the knot in your throat, "No. I saw him that morning, he seemed fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. We were talking about the game. He was excited the Sox had won. He made us breakfast. I ironed his shirt for work and I sent him off. And...." You take a moment to maintain your composure, "...that was the last time I saw him."
"Fucking hell..." He sighs out, the curse pouring out from the depths of his soul. He takes a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket, taking one and offering the pack to you, "You smoke?"
You shake your head, "Yeah, but I can't right now." You let out a bitter chuckle as you add on: "Last night...I found out I'm pregnant."
Carmy chokes on the puff he'd just inhaled, coughing out the smoke. He gives you a deer-in-headlights look, trying to gouge your reaction so he can mimic his accordingly. You help him out by giving him a slight smile, allowing him to reflect it back at you ten fold.
"No fucking way." He laughs, prompting you to nod, your eyes filling with tears for the millionth time today. He tosses his cigarette, motioning for you to approach him, "Come here." His arms wrap around you and you damn near break down, finally allowing yourself to shed those tears you've been holding back as you hug him back, squeezing him tightly.
You didn't realize how much you'd needed that hug, that comfort. You had no one to offer it to you. It's funny how quickly people can become important in our lives - in this case, only minutes after entering yours.
You're both startled when the door is thrown open revealing a man you don't recognize initially. His demeanor allows you to connect him to a name soon though.
"Cousin, what the fuck?! We're fighting a war in there...- oh, my bad." He straightens his attitude when he notices you, "Hi there."
Sniffling, Carmy wipes a stray tear before offering Richie a wide smile, "Cousin, we're gonna be uncles."
The confusion on his face provokes a laugh out of you, a genuine one at that. It's refreshing, nostalgic almost. And although you're well aware you'll have to retell your and Mikey's story several more times to catch people up to speed, you know that it'll be a little less dreadful each time.
* * * * *
It's over. The five minutes of utter hell and chaos are over.
You share a look of disbelief with Syd before bursting out in hysterical laughter, enveloping each other in a hug.
"We did it."
"We fucking did it."
Wiping sweat from your forehead with the back of your hand, you beam up at Richie who is equally as high on the feel of accomplishment. His arms wrap around you so tightly, he momentarily lifts you off the ground.
It's finally the calm after the storm. You can finally relax without waiting for the other shoe to drop.
You rush out to the dining are, going straight to Sugar and Pete's table where your one year old son is being entertained by the couple, cackling as Pete tickles his feet.
"Hope he wasn't too much trouble." You say as you approach their side, your voice prompting Sugar to get up and practically tackle you with upmost joy.
"Great job back there, Y/N." She beams at you, holding your hands tightly when she pulls away.
"You too, mama." You smile back, resting a hand over her swollen belly just in time to feel a kick.
Turning back to Calvin, you see him making grabby hands at you, giggling when you pick him up, peppering kisses all over his face, "Hi, baby!" You coo to him, adjusting his surprisingly still clean shirt. A fancy one, curtesy of Richie. Him, Fak and Calvin are in matching suits tonight and it's the most adorable thing. "Wanna go see uncle Carmy?"
It's ridiculous you even asked. The little boy cheers happily, kicking his feet as you carry him back to the kitchen, stopping in front of the freezer door to knock on it.
"What?!" You hear Carmy's rough voice boom from inside.
"Carmy!" Calvin calls out to his uncle, his tiny hands tapping on the freezer door, "Hiiii!"
"Hi Baby Bear." His tone has softened now, raising to an octave higher, "Your mommy is a badass, you know that."
"Oh he knows." You reply, resting your forehead on the cool metal, "We did it, Carm. We took care of it. Everything's handled, don't worry." You take this moment of calmness on his end to reassure him that no matter what anxieties are plaguing him, everything is and will be fine.
"I know you did, Y/N. You're an awesome team. Just wish I was in the fire with you, you know?" He says through a shaky breath, causing your heart to ache.
"Oh this was just the frying pan, dude. You'll be there for the many fires to come." Your words are successful in making him laugh, bringing you relief.
"I cook too!" Calvin proudly proclaims, making you both chuckle.
"You'll cook too, Teddy Bear. You'll be the best fucking chef ever." You gave up a while ago trying to shield Calvin from the sailor mouths of the Berzatto family and the restaurant as a whole. If he has a potty mouth from a very early age, you'll just blame it on his dad and uncles.
You never dreamed you'd find yourself in the cahoots of such a batshit crazy and immensely loving family. It really makes you feel a sense of fulfillment looking back at how far you've come and look forward knowing that you'll never come to a point where you'll be alone.
You'll always have your son, the Berzattos and The Bear by your side.
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cloveroctobers · 3 months
Text
FEBRUARY FLUFF — CARMY BERZATTO.
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A/N: so carmy won this time around!!! Thanks to all those that voted and ultimately made this decision for me lol. Hope you guys enjoy this and have a safe, healthy, and happy love season 🩷 + yes this is a mixture of fluff and angst...i mean come on! I wouldn't be me if i didn't include that in here somewhere!
PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE + HERE & I’m using: 1. “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.” “What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?”  + always giving the other the first bite of their food < or the last.
WARNINGS/SN: I wrote with a black or brown reader in mind although reader isn't physically described + they’re given a name only when mentioned, language is a thing here duh!, this is LENGTHY, lots of timelines: reader + nat became friendly before season 1 during the summer prior to 7 fishes which is estimated to be five years before season 2, reader knows of carmy due to past work, I feel like she can be just a few year(s) older than carmy but younger than nat—there’s a age gap for the Berzatto’s anyways, sexual relations are mentioned, this piece takes place months after the grand opening, & finally there’s a possible chance for a poly relationship or maybe just multiple crushes going on? Take that how you will.
𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡
it was a Sunday.
The kind of Sunday you woke up embarrassed about but knew you had to swallow your pride and just send out that text. You knew you wouldn’t be judged regardless reaching out to Fak because he’s built to deal with things like this and never made you feel like shit about anything.
You usually had to squeeze it out of him to get him to lay out any cons about a situation but appreciated most times when he didn’t. Your minds been going haywire with a recent assignment as a food journalist and it really slipped your mind, although you were usually a quick thinker, you’ve been stressed over this recent restaurant. Thankfully it clicked for you after throwing a tantrum to simply reach out to Fak to come help you out.
The stupid lever in your bathroom decided to stop flushing on you and of course you panicked. Who wouldn’t panic in a situation like that? You no longer had a roommate and strongly debated if you even wanted to search for another; after the shady actions of the previous one, so you really didn’t have to worry about them giving you shit either. (Let’s see if your rent feels the same next month!)
It was just you in the end and perhaps you were learning to be okay with that.
Yet that didn’t stop you from FaceTiming Sydney about it. “Hey Siddy, how’s your day going?”
“Pretty good, yours?” She politely asked as she moved down the hallway of her shared apartment to prop her phone on the pedestal sink, moving around her functioning bathroom to grab some oil to grease her scalp.
Smacking your lips you glare, “it fucking sucks.”
“Oh?” Sydney questioned, appearing back in frame, “what happened? Did someone egg and scratch up your car again after a review you gave them? Noo wait, don’t tell me there’s a bullet hole?!”
That was light work compared to New York (it really wasn’t a competition of which state had its worst moments but your home state left you kinda triggered, not gonna lie!) where you were just starting off and those that were in tune with the culinary world didn’t take your words with a grain of salt. Most nights you still woke up gasping for air, reaching for your throat due to some trauma of a break in from a well-known nepo-baby chef. Don’t get that twisted, your mom didn’t raise no punk but that didn’t mean those events didn’t mess with your mental and you acknowledged that every time you had a nightmare. They only served three years and five months compared to the original five year sentence.
Ah the system…got to love how that works out for the privileged!
You shrugged, “no…the threats have been pretty tame lately so I can give myself a pat on the back for that. However! I still am in a crisis.”
Sydney begins to move her braids around to expose her scalp, “Elaborate for me.”
“My toilet won’t flush!” You whine, laying flat on your messy bed. You tended to not make your bed on Saturdays and didn’t get around to making it today—although it was after 3pm.
Sydney asks, “Like the waste won’t go down…?”
“Exactly!” You confirm throwing your arm over your eyes dramatically, “The lever thing is moving like my old dislocated shoulder.”
Sydney gags, “don’t fucking remind me of that day. That was spooky to witness but I am glad you healed from that.”
“Thanks girl, means a lot, truly.”
Sydney gives a small smile, “don’t mention it…have you considered YouTubing it? That’s what I do when I don’t want to ask anyone for help and figure it out by myself.”
You hummed knowing this was true. In a sense you could be like that too, especially when it came to the working field, since writers can tend to be some nasty bitches and always in rivalry with each other. You made a name for yourself in Chicago as well, coming from New York where you worked just as hard-maybe even harder than the rest to mean and write exactly how you felt about cuisine, regardless if anyone agreed or not. It wasn’t about if people liked you, the relationship with food would always be more significant and hold value in your life, just like the rest of these chef’s you encountered and you got that, people were allowed to be sensitive about their work. You’ve come toe to toe with many chef’s around the world who didn’t like your take on their craft but that didn’t mean you didn’t understand them. They hardly took the time to really dive into your ratings and automatically took it as you shit talking or not having any idea what you were saying since you “weren’t really a chef,” but you knew your worth most days.
Yes you could be straight forward but that didn’t mean you lacked compassion like some chef’s liked to think according to your reviews. You often wrote in a way that was puzzling to some, almost philosophical or riddle like with your own twist. Some just didn’t get it and that was okay but you wouldn’t back down from any confrontation. The second they didn’t want to really listen, that’s when you removed yourself from the escalating problem. It didn’t have to get violent like some wanted to inflict.
“Why didn’t I think of that?!” You exasperated, slapping the palm of your hand to your forehead.
Sydney snorted, “maybe because you’re under a lot of pressure lately and the most simplest of things don’t come as easily as they should.”
“You would think I have high blood pressure with the way these past two weeks have been.”
Sydney says, “give it time.”
“Gee, thanks! That’s exactly the kind of shit I want to hear from you.” You roll your eyes at the blurt of words that commonly escaped the braided girl’s mouth.
Sydney breathes out a laugh, “I’m just joking!”
“Yeah, yeah! Maybe I should text fak back and tell him not to come by!”
“You asked fak instead of the apartment manager?” Sydney is in amazement.
“Fuck that noise, he’s so full of shit that he should see a doctor about it. He’ll show up to analyze the problem, then acts like he’s going to fit you into the schedule and then when you catch him in the lobby he pretends that he has amnesia.” You commented with a scowl.
You get ready to minimize the call to text fak but some obnoxious knocks at the door made you pop up from your bed. “That was fast!”
Hopping up from the bed and padding out of the last bedroom in the apartment, you made the journey through the foyer to the awaiting black front door. Peeking through the peephole you spot Fak grinning widely up into it, almost making you jump back.
“He’s made it Siddy! I’ll call you back!”
“K. Good luck!” Sydney calls out before you end the call to pull the door wide open.
“Neil!” You scream, quickly latching onto his tatted wrist ready to yank him in until you notice someone else is with him, “…why is he here?” You point.
Fak quickly glances over at a brimmed Carmy who raised a brow at him in a silent told you so manner, “I mean we were having a boy’s day when you called and I didn’t want my buddy to be left out. Plus, it’s always great to have some assistance.”
“…i find it hard to believe that Carmen wants to fix my toilet.” You cross your arms, poking out your hip as you stare at him.
Carmen shrugs his shoulders, “I wanted to wait in the car if it makes you feel any better.”
“Hmm…it doesn’t.”
Carmy rolls his eyes, pinching at the bridge of his nose briefly in agitation, “you know what, fak you’ve got this right? I know you do so—
“Nope!” Fak quickly interrupts, “this maybe a two person job so aspie if you just let us do what we came to do—
Shooting an arm out to block the doorway you peer into Fak’s dark teal eyes to show you mean business, “didn’t I say I dislike that nickname, Neil?”
He nods.
“Also i find it offensive that you brought an uninvited guest to my place.”
“Just be glad it wasn’t Richie because that was also a possibility before he ran off to pick up the kid.” Carmy snaps making you roll your eyes.
If Richie was here you been would have slammed the door in both Fak and his face. Sure you had some sort of tension with Carmy and beef with .......his cousin but at least Carmy only gave it back to you when he had the energy to—meaning if he was already on one. The issue was simple, you wrote a not so nice review once before when the eldest berzatto, Michael was alive and running the joint. Richie couldn’t forget that and actually kept the clipping, yes the clipping of the review way back when. He had the receipts to show Carmy and Carmy actually brushed it off then, not seeming to really care or doubt some of the words that were said.
He came to revamp the place because Mikey left it for him, to fix the mess his big brother left behind, to create what they’ve always dreamed of. Sure he got shit for it in the beginning and part of him felt like maybe that was your case too? He could relate to you on that, yet the weight was slightly different on his part and he even spoke with you not long after he found those tomato cans.
That gave him a certain push he couldn’t really explain. He may have done a brief dive on you, wondering why you felt acquainted to him—completely forgetting about seeing you once around Noma—choosing to start with reading previous reviews by you on other restaurants here in Chicago and a few interviews you’ve done over the world. You weren’t just some nobody, you held your titles well and it reflected in your work.
You weren’t clueless.
He just didn’t really know what he was dealing with until a short time ago.
What he didn’t expect was for you to show up again on opening night with a certain head chef, also from New York. That made carmy more anxious than anything, seeing you sitting beside that four eyed fuck ready to set off a tornado in the heart of the bear. Was that your motive all along? With carmy attempting to build a bridge, not for you to kiss his ass with praise but there was a odd need to have a simple conversation with you. It was weird but it seemed like Sydney, Fak, and Nat liked you?
The jury was still out with the rest—except Richie but you were a mystery to Carmy. However carmy wasn’t the best at putting a read on people or their emotions in the first place, he was good at fucking that up unless you’re screaming it into his face. That’s just how he operated.
“You two can come in—only because I don’t have the patience with the manager here and Neil’s the best I’m gonna get.” You state while fak slaps a hand on his chest.
“That was really sweet, Aspen.” Fak cooed ready to pull you into a bone crushing hug but you hold up a finger.
“Save the hugs until after you fix my problem.”
“You got it boss,” Fak salutes before diving under your arm to travel through your apartment, ooo-ing and ah-ing before finding the bathroom around the corner from the living room.
Sighing you drop your arm and wave carmy through, who keeps his view straight while traveling through the hallway. You call out to him, “you can have a seat on the couch.”
“What? Did you drop a load or something and is that the real reason why you don’t want me to help Fak?” Carmy comes right out with it, nose twitching in amusement after whipping around to face you in the center of the living room.
See…only when he’s frustrated or overly focused will he just let it out. Some may look at this as Carmy attempting to make a joke but you took that somewhat personally. The only thing you were thinking after he said this was: What an ego on this one huh?
You stop on your heels and tilt your head to the side, “are you telling me that you think women or fem pronoun users don’t take shits? Do you know what it feels like to have period shits?”
Carmy blinks at you and shouts with his hands out, “I...don't even know what the fuck you're getting at? I wasn't even trying to be sexist to you just then! I asked you a honest question—
“About you being in my business,” you pointed out, “contrary to your beliefs I have a heart and decided to be nice to you and let you stay in my place to keep warm. You’re welcome!”
“Oh bullshit, don’t act like you’re doin’ me any favors.” Carmy scowls, “you don’t even want me here.”
You shrug, “yet you’re here in my apartment, yelling.”
Carmy exhaled while you smirked at him sweetly before turning to lean against the wall that leads to the bathroom.
“Everything okay in there, Neil?”
“Oh yeah!” He says, “I think I figured out the problem. Easy peasy!”
“Great!” You exclaim, pulling your phone out from your sweats to read a very important email.
The weight of stress seemed to lift a good chunk as you quickly responded to a email that you’ve been waiting for. You’ve been invited out (squeezed in) to a taste test at this restaurant for this evening that you’ve been trying to get into for a month before you brought it up to your employer. The deadline was approaching for the end of this week to have a review ready and they just responded to you five days before that deadline! Reading over it twice, the squeal in you slipped through your smile until you read the exceptions.
If you were to go over the amount of food purchased, which you would put on the company card anyways, you can get a discount if you brought a plus one and some reimbursement if the review was satisfactory to the owners—which the last part wasn’t unfamiliar to you.
You usually didn’t bring a plus one to any of the places you did reviews for, you got comfortable doing outings all on your own but this was different. Sure you were somewhat known in the culinary world but that didn’t mean you were a millionaire and this restaurant was apparently upscale. There was a waiting list regardless of your status—even for the celebrities that went there so this was a big deal and they gave you a short notice. Usually Sundays were known for a reset for the week but what better way to start it?
You don’t go forward with reaching out to anybody else that you work with. This was your battle and you were aware that two of your other co-workers also reached out to this restaurant. You just hoped you were the only one they picked and wouldn’t miss out on the great opportunity just because you weren’t sure about your guest.
A few hours before show time and you had to find somebody to attend with you. Your best friend was away in Cabo for a honeymoon, the other (who recently planned on moving to ATL) was dealing with the flu and had their no good ex boyfriend taking care of them, Sydney was suddenly MIA, and you even considered inviting Natalie Berzatto to piss carmy off just a bit.
“Hey, Nat!” You greet into the phone as you walk into the kitchen, witnessing Carmy perk up from the couch.
It’s small talk at first: you asking about how her day is going as a mom to be, if she’s going to be at the bear tomorrow, did she watch the Emmy’s the other night, tell her husband you said hello, and then finally if she had plans for tonight.
“…are you asking me to hang out?”
“We had fun at that club way back when no?”
“Yeah! But that was how long ago?”
You knew it’s been awhile. You were always friendly with Natalie, meeting her first—well second out of the siblings down at the small mart one summer you helped out at that your great-uncle owned. She was huffing about something her boyfriend at the time, Pete forgot to bring her and some groceries she was picking up for her mom. You were cool enough to become Facebook friends, exchange numbers, go out for coffee and go to the club together. This wasn’t unusual to call each other randomly but you knew she commonly got shit from Michael and Richard about her talking and hanging out with you.
The thing about Natalie Berzatto is that she always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes she saw your review yet she kinda laughed about it initially but it was all fuck you’s from the other two loud mouth’s. Of course she was going to listen to her brother but she still had a mind of her own. she didn’t care to listen to Richie go off but she understood how Michael felt, although she was the only other Berzatto that heard you out.
Except you didn’t owe anybody an explanation even if some felt you were more cutthroat in your younger years.
“...Before you and Pete even thought about marriage?”
You were younger than them but you imagined how it would always work out for Nat and Pete, which included growing old together.
“Wow! Yeah that sounds right.”
“So…?”
“Can’t do it.”
“You didn’t even hear all the details!”
“I know, I know and it sounds like it’ll be a real fucking blast but if this kid wasn’t sitting on my sciatic nerve constantly and if my feet weren’t the size of two honeydews…I totally would! But I’ll have to decline this time around—so please don’t hate me!”
“I could never!”
“You know you could always ask carmy-
“Why on earth would I do that?” Your reply was instant.
Natalie sighed over the phone, “aspen…the potential of friendship and love is a beautiful thing.”
You scrunched up your face at the phone before placing it back to your ear.
“Do you want me to hang up on you?”
“I’d call you a rude bitch if you did but then get over it.”
“I can live with that because I know it’s real love between you and I.”
“…whatever that means.”
“Right.”
You both laugh, knowing just how weird the subject of love can be. Although you didn’t talk all the time it was always okay for one of the other to drop a venting text or call each other’s way and know the other would get around to responding. The both of you may not be the best of friends but you did consider each other friends regardless. There were conversations between the both of you that no one knew about and would be a constant reminder of what kind of friends the both of you would remain.
Natalie wished things could have been resolved between you and Michael but she reassured that the dislike wasn’t as deep as it seemed. There was no secret that you felt awful about how his life ended and being there for nat during that time also meant a lot. She told you that one of the last conversations she had with Michael was about you and it felt as if he was learning to let go of your review, slowly taking in Nat’s words of you not having a cruel bone in your body especially with all that you’ve done for her.
Anybody that showed his sister true friendship couldn’t be complete garbage. As much as he tolerated Pete, Michael was always aware that he was good enough for his sister. They were all cut from different cloths and the Berzatto’s were just from the same but opposite corner’s.
Natalie telling you this was not to erase any worries you had since that is always brought to the surface when someone you’ve been face to face with before decides to end it all. It was to show you that nobody ever truly knows what anyone is thinking whether there is love there or not.
You can feel Natalie smiling through the phone, “Think about it…all that tension could be smoothed out if you extend the olive branch…now it’s your turn.”
“It’s not my fault he switched up on me after your opening night.” You didn’t lower your voice or make it louder but you were definitely staring at carmy now who was side eyeing you, looking like phineas from phineas and ferb.
“That’s something you need to talk to him about, don’t you think?” Her tone was always so gentle that it made you sick sometimes because she could be right.
“I’m not here to do think pieces.”
“…aren’t you a writer?”
“Have a good night, nat.”
“Ta-Ta!” Natalie sing-songs, “be sure to send me the deets later because carmy never tells me anything! Bye! Chat later!”
Hanging up the phone, you slide it onto the counter and tap your nails against the island. To the right of you, you pick up on some clinking in the bathroom—which sounds somewhat normal and zone in on carmy who’s also holding onto his phone but staring at the blank tv in thought.
“Hey, Carmen.” You call his name.
His bright blues turn to you as if he hasn’t been eavesdropping on your conversation here and there between his texts with Marcus.
“You. Me. The Saffron Simmer. 7pm.”
The air is frigid as the both of you hunch your shoulders shoving through Chicago’s winter. Shockingly the streets are filled with cars tonight so you had to park on the next street over before walking up and around to The Saffron Simmer. Carmy offered to drive, which was a debate—no shock there—since there was no way he was leaving the bear stock van behind for no license having fak to play around in.
Fak definitely found that offensive and said he didn’t mind hanging out at your place, being done with your toilet but with the look you sent him he said he’s find an Uber or fak2 can pick him up. It’s not like you didn’t trust fak in your place…it’s just that the possibilities of what he can get into are endless.
You also didn’t want to ride in the bear’s van not because of shallow reasons, you just wanted to annoy carmy just a bit more for fun. Walking mostly everywhere was the way to go growing up in New York and Carmy working there so doing so here in Chicago wasnt foreign either. However with the type of cold here in this city is enough to give the bravest of hearts hypothermia. So obviously driving was the best option, it’s just the petty back and forth between you two of who will drive had to be spewed.
Eventually you gave in and sat in the passenger side of the van, being on DJ duty for the twenty-five minute drive—something carmy didn’t care to argue over. The both of you made it on time, throwing the door back for carmy to catch then bouncing on your toes while he blew into his gloveless hands waiting on the greeter to find your reservation.
The pictures didn’t do The saffron simmer any justice. There was so much to look at with its modernized speakeasy décor and the high ceilings did a superb job of making the both of you feel small in the spacious space. Thankfully the dress code was business casual so you didn’t have to go all out but you still put in the effort of looking your best in simple attire. You’re shrugging out of your scarf, earmuffs, and puffer coat while Carmy is already seated; with only the removal of his cap across from you in a chair.
He’s watching you as you place everything neatly to the right of you before you're taking a seat in the leather oversized chair, then digging through your tote to pull out your notepad, Sony camera, phone, and bolt pen. You quickly scribble something on the first line and circle it before dropping your pen.
Rolling the sleeves of your long sleeves back underneath your blazer, you roll your shoulders with a close of your eyes before opening them with a look of determination.
“Wow, that was something.” Carmy tells you, making you set your eyes back on him, forgetting just that quick that he was your plus one.
Clasping your hands together you quirk up a brow, “What?”
“Watching you prep.”
You dip your head, “should have seen me before I got dressed…much worse.”
A smirk appears on the corner of Carmy’s lips, “oh yeah?”
“Well yes, I can contain myself in public, Carmen. Your home is supposed to be your safe space so that’s the best place to go a little crazy sometimes.” You inform, yet still not giving too much away.
“Why are you in your head about this place anyway?” Carmy peers around the slightly filled dining area before meeting your eyes once more.
You lift your shoulders, “have you seen the way they market this place? Giving not too much away although it’s top ten restaurants here and I can either contribute to its success or its downfall. They picked me for a reason so my review matters at the end of this year.”
“But you uh-get a thrill out of this shit don’t you? It’s what you signed up for, right?” Carmy is actually relaxed against the chair across from you.
Which is a sight to see.
You state, “it’s part of the job, if that’s what you mean.”
Carmy blinks and seems to get it, “and so you stay.”
“So I stay.” You echo while holding his stare, which is broken by a piece of the stone table lifting and showcasing the menu illuminated by sepia lighting in the dark of the restaurant.
Carmy’s bright eyes are wide as he stares at the menu that appears right in front of your faces. There’s a grin on your face as you rest your fingertips around its rough edges, almost as if you were expecting this while carmy blows out a breath.
“The hell is this place?”
You peek over at him, “some next level shit, berzatto.”
“Yeah…I think I’m starting to catch on.”
You turn your attention back to the menu, swiping your fingertips along the touch screen although you’ve heard things about the menu, which they kept offline since apparently it renews monthly.
“What looks good?”
“Uh…these pages aren’t even labeled." Carmy exhales through his nose, eyes searching all over the tablet, "I have no clue. You?”
The words come at ease for you, "One of almost everything maybe?”
“Sounds good...I guess?”
“On me by the way,” you state with a wink as you flash your company card.
“I’ll get the tip then.” Carmy pats his jeans, the left containing his carton of cigarettes, the right holding his keys, lifting his hips he checks for his wallet although he’s been sitting on his behind for about ten minutes now.
You don’t argue with that, eyes in awe at the selection of items as you start ordering, “don’t forget to order your drink.”
“Water should be fine,” Carmy mutters to himself, eyes scanning over the first strange title of water that is described as flower and ginger infused purified water and decides to go with that.
You finally express after rapidly letting your fingers go over the screen and taking a picture with your phone, “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.”
It sounded so easy to you as you quickly shifted to pick up your pen and start writing notes.
“What was that?” Carmy pressed his elbows into the edge of the table, making sure he heard you right since he’s not even sure if he can trust his inner thoughts lately.
You’re still scribbling but also turning your face towards the messy haired chef, “you heard me. We have to act like we’re in a relationship because I’ve definitely went over the budget on the card.”
“That’s not really my problem?”
“Yes it is,” you demand, “you agreed to be my plus one so that’s that. Plus this menu further confirmed my suspicions from the email.”
Carmy scratches at his brow confused, “what are you talking about, aspen?”
“Here,” you swipe across your screen towards Carmy’s device, which brings up another screen instantly to carmy who’s in awe but scans over the details.
You didn’t share the email with him but he’s heard about how high tech this restaurant is but didn’t have the time to do his own research.
*Significant others in attendance are subject to applicable discounts.*
Carmy feels his stomach cramp at the fine print and it so small that he was sure anyone could have missed that.
Not you.
“…how exactly are we supposed to prove that, hm?” He's gripping at his greasy hair now, feeling himself getting a bit worked up about this.
You fanned your hand along, “just do what couples do and follow my lead...Depending on our witnesses,” you whisper as you look around, “they could always assume that’s what we are anyways.”
Part of carmy didn’t like how that came off.
“What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?” Flies out of Carmy’s mouth before he can even process what he’s saying.
That stoops you too, making you press your back against the chair in thought. That wouldn’t be going down in the notes, as you stare at the pen in between your fingers for a moment. Which brings you back to Carmy’s tatted fingers first that touched you in ways that romance novelist craved to write about.
So you may have left that out, how a shared conversation about the “heartless” review of then Chicagoland turned the bear melted into hot and heavy actions in the front seat of your Mazda. It hits you in those same flashes you take of dishes: the unsure sloppy kisses, you taking the lead to get Carmy to just touch you, shaky hands that trace the tattoo from your rib cage down to your hip before soon holding steady and angled just right beneath your red tapered trousers.
“Where did that come from?” You question just as a server greets you, delivering drinks and announcing the small plates should be out in the next five minutes with a timer appearing on both of the stone tablets.
Carmy says, “you—you didn’t just think I forget right?”
“Well I was hoping.” You were honest, “neither of us are ready for relationships—especially hearing about you and Claire.”
Carmy felt his eye twitch, “and how do you know about that?”
Sydney.
You wouldn’t throw her under the bus like that although you could tell carmy already knew.
“I have my resources but don’t think I’ve been asking around about you or anything like that.” You sipped at the raspberry mint cocktail, it could be stronger.
His thumbs are shaking first on the table top but his icy stare made your chest pulsate in a way you didn't particularly like, “…would that be so bad?”
You and carmy didn’t exactly know each other well enough besides a conversation once had and with his hand down your pants! and you trying to get him to crash, clothes still on right in the center of his lap—It was a spur of the moment hookup and you could tell it was not something that happened often for carmy. He never had time for it or bothered to get attached but there was something about you that had him thinking otherwise. What was supposed to be a one time thing that you swept to the back of your mind was being brought up again.
The annoyance overtook what that feeling brought in the front seat of your ride. You weren’t ignoring carmy after that but the both of you had a lot on your plate with him renovating a restaurant and you diving back into your own work. Both fields of work seemed to matter more and not once did you think he ever thought about you in that way.
Communication was important people!
And here you thought he wanted nothing to do with you, especially with you showing up to the grand opening of The Bear. Now here you were months later, basically at your benefit, face to face hearing only pieces of what Carmen Berzatto was thinking.
“Hey, guys!” A familiar voice gathers your attention and you both turn to see Sydney smiling at you two.
Carmy widens his eyes, “Syd, what’re you doing here?”
Sydney snorted, “doing the same thing you’re doing? Having dinner.”
“Right.” He lightly shakes his head.
“Oh my god…am I interrupting this um? Date?” Sydney quickly connected the dots eyeing the both of you back and forth while you’re choking on your drink, “you okay?”
She pats your back for you while you gasp and Carmy slides over his water your way although you have your own glass near by. Gaining some air, you swallow some water and breathe through your nose. Normally you would have a response for Sydney’s joke but given what carmy just said to you had your mind running along with some burning tears you wiped away.
“So this is where you’ve been instead of answering me back?” You decide to switch the subject-you were great at that-wheezing a bit while Carmy scoffs and looks away.
Sydney frowns, “huh? When did you call me besides the FaceTime call…” she starts and pulls out her phone, “oh shit sorry. I placed it on do not disturb like thirty minutes after you didn’t call me back. I got wrapped into some entail about the menu from one of the chef’s that works here and is also a friend.”
Carmy speaks, “Didn’t know you had a connect with anybody here, Syd.”
“Can’t reveal all my moves, Carm.” She winks and lightly elbows him while Carmy sends her a small smile and a shake of his head.
Carmy asks, “scooping out our competition?”
“Only a little," She pinches her fingers before continuing, "and my dad thought it would be a place I wanted to try.” Sydney admits, “and if you two weren’t on a date I’d say let’s make this a group thing! so I’ll be going! I see my dad coming back from the bathroom…he’s got like a bladder problem and I don’t know why I’m sharing that with you two. But bye! Enjoy and just know I’ll be keeping my eye on you two.”
“Fuck,” carmy exhaled feeling his nerves rising, “don’t do that.”
Sydney chuckles to herself and sends a wave to you two before walking back to her table by the window.
“Siddy kicked me to the curb for her dad,” you sigh resting your cheek into your knuckles for a moment, “can’t be mad at that.”
“But you can be mad at me for what exactly?”
“You wanna do this with me right now?”
“Yeah, I think I do.”
“I thought we could move past what happened—
“You can say it you know? Me with my fingers inside—
“Excuse me!” You hiss, “I don’t need you to repeat action by action thank you. I was there too. We both know what happened, we’d agreed we can coexist around this big ass city. I show up to support—
“Did you though?” Carmy pressed, “support me? Or am I waiting for something else to be thrown at me with your upcoming review?”
“What?!” You bite, “is that what your stank ass attitude is about?”
Carmy tightened his jaw just as the first serving was handed over. You let him sulk in that for some time as you study the plating of the four appetizers, making note of each before taking more pictures with your sony.
“I wasn’t there to write a review.” You reply.
“I saw you—
“Let me finish. I understand pressure so I get it but you have to learn to channel your anger and this grief, elsewhere and deal with it better without projecting it onto any and everybody. I’ll tell you that right now that won’t get you anywhere and especially with me, Carmen.” You affirm.
You’ve been in Carmy’s position before so you can speak with experience. He seemed to always be waiting for the worse to continue filling up his plate but it takes time to accept the good in life. He was giving you something but you weren’t sure it was the best option for the both of you and you weren’t afraid to say that.
“Alright…I didn’t come here to talk about feelings either you know? That’s what those meetings are for.” Carmy spills just a tad.
You stare at the vibrant but delicate plating but his tone and the soft upbeat tempo above your heads don’t go unnoticed. “What did you come here for then?”
Carmy blinks and snatches up a spoon, almost weighing it in his hands before he dives the utensil into the dish. He stares as the stretch of cheese, twisting the spoon to break it apart before holding the Macaroni and Brie with Crab out for you to take the first bite.
He doesn’t answer for awhile and so you do the honors of taking a bite and savoring it's texture and taste.
“…that’s not my favorite.” You announce and notice that Carmy waited for your view.
He raises his brows, “tell me about it?”
“They need different plating.” You deeply sigh, “I know that type of plating works best for a dessert and that’s not it. There’s more breadcrumbs than meat, which seems to not be fully removed from its shell so be careful with that. It’s also lacking flavor even with the brie, which is my least favorite kind of cheese in Mac, although many swear by it.”
Carmy flicks his attention to your disappointment to you scribbling into your notepad with a shake of your head. If he was making you a dish, he’d try his hardest to make sure it was everything you ever wanted.
He quickly has his share and thinks to himself.
Carmy can agree, this was lacking flavor and the breadcrumbs didn’t even have a crunch to them. You can’t just depend on the cheese to give you flavor in Mac and cheese.
“What’s your favorite dish? I—I don’t think I ever asked you that. We just went straight into talking about the beef.”
And doing dirty things in the front seat but who needs to relive that?!
You look up from your notes and lift your chin, “you’re looking at it. It’s childish I know...but that’s exactly what it reminds me of: my childhood. Mac and cheese! then as I got into my adulthood…crab kinda took over. Which is funny because I hated on it for so long growing up. My papa—my grandad, he helped my mom raise me, he's from Ocean City so you can only imagine the amount of seafood on our table.”
You’re smiling to yourself and Carmy can’t help but to feel his small laughter lines appear by his lips as you’re locked into some memory only you can remember vividly. This was the most Carmy was learning about you, sure it may not look like much but he didn’t feel the need to dissociate even if at times he really couldn’t help it.
You were the question mark that he wanted to figure out and get all the answers to. Maybe it was his gut and he shouldn’t have blabbed to sugar about you because now Carmy was thinking this was Michael’s doing.
If you believe in that shit.
So the both of you take your time trying the small dishes before getting the main courses. It seems the longer you sit across from each other—the tension was definitely still there especially with Sydney’s eyes burning into the two of you across the room and attempting to not get caught—although she had once or twice but gradually it lifted as you and carmy shared this time together.
He watched you work while you asked for his input before you told your own. He also provided a few things he would do to tweak it if he agreed with what you didn’t enjoy. Which was eye-opening for you, yes you went to school for journalism and sat in on some cooking classes once that also tied into your passion for learning. After completing your first degree you decided culinary may take you to different heights and enrolled into culinary school. You didn’t find the need to continue going through with being a chef after Copenhagen, finding writing to be your stronger suit but you still understood food and the relationship with it when it came to chef’s.
So you took carmy’s input into consideration.
With the last serving being a Asian dessert called, “Jjan Hae,” which consisted of: coconut rice pudding served with fresh citrus (orange, grapefruit, kumquat) and coffee ice cream, topped with crispy pop rice & a shot of Korean rice wine, it was a strange concept but the both of you came to terms with the dessert working well.
Carmy even took a video to show Marcus tomorrow at the bear and sent a photo to an old colleague, Luca, that you were also familiar with considering Noma was a thing that you didn’t bother speaking much on…but it was your turn to give carmy the last serving.
He hesitated since he had his own bowl, which he finished way before you did but it was clear you wanted him to have the last bite so he also took it while saying something with his eyes.
Breaking the stare, the both of you felt your phone buzz with a text. Carmy didn’t jump to answer it right away…he was the worst texter according to Nat and Sydney but you can answer for the both of you as it was a group text from Sydney who was long gone with her dad.
Siddy + (773) XXX-XXXX: Carmy, invite aspen to breakfast in the morning?? See you guys then! 👍🏾😉
“You guys do breakfast at the bear now?” You say lifting your eyes from your screen.
You heard Sydney made a mean omelette but you haven’t been back since earlier this year and you weren’t in the mood for that that night.
Carmy frowns and closes his eyes with a shake of his head, “uh yeah it’s a new thing that Syd came up with but we agreed to do that with everyone once a month…later this month. Why?”
“She wants me to have breakfast with you guys…knowing I’m not a morning person.”
“It’s not happening tomorrow anyway, so what is she talking about?” Carmy digs into his jacket, where he carelessly shoved his phone into after sending the photo off to Luca.
Another text rings out: at carmy’s place. just us three???
Not Sydney making plans and then placing it all at Carmy’s apartment.
He’s taking a breath, almost as a silent reminder for him to do so before his thumbs move over his screen: i don’t even eat breakfast, Syd.
Syd: well youre gonna.
~ Syd has notifications silenced 🌙 ~
“Well, looks like your work wife told your ass.” You laugh, which you translated into her message but didn’t comment further than that.
Carmy harshly exhales through his nostrils in disbelief, “my work wife huh?”
He didn’t hate how that sounded but he also never thought about marriage or relationships in awhile.
“Yeah…the proof is in the pudding, no matter what anyone says.”
Carmy pinched at his bottom lip as he attempts to dryly joke, “I thought it was rice? and what about outside work…”
“That’s something you have to figure out yourself.” You shrug, getting ready to pack up your notes and cameras.
You turn your attention to the table, which knows just when to lift as you tap on the screen to signal that you’re ready to pay while holding out your company card, “are you paying cash for the tip or card?”
“Uh, cash.” Carmy answers, “…what if I’m starting to think about what come’s next?”
“With Syd?” You question, your now sage and mint scented hands flying over the screen as you select the correct paying method before tapping your company card against the screen.
Carmy starts bouncing his leg underneath the table, “with everything.”
“Well…when you’re ready you’ll make moves to make it happen won’t you?”
Carmy dips his head, “you bet.”
And here comes the intense eye contact that you can’t help but to huff out some laughter.
“What’s funny?”
“It’s just people with light eyes always do this thing where they’re just staring into your soul you know? Like damn, relax!”
Carmy’s confused as he holds his wallet open, “uh sorry for having eyes?”
“Shut up, glacier eyes.” You tell while Carmy just snorts at you.
The both of you don’t waste any time rushing back to his car as the clock is approaching 10pm. The wind’s definitely picked up and the temperature dropped, making it easier not to get caught up in the night time city lights which you often liked to do. Back in the van, carmy doesn’t wait to crank up the heat and you don’t bother to mess with the radio this time.
“So?” Carmy asks as he waits for the car to warm up some.
You keep your attention outside the window shield, “yes?”
“What’s the rating?”
“What makes you think I’m going to tell you that, Carmen?” You continue holding yourself.
He sniffs, “I mean—I was sitting across from you the entire night while you told me some of your thoughts.”
“So you thought you should also get the final score? I don’t even know what I’m going to say yet.”
“Ah, I think you’ve got some idea.” Carmy lolls his head over to peek at you.
Laughter bubbles past your lips, “I do. I’ve absolutely had better because—what the fuck was that?”
Carmen feels a crooked smirk appear on his own face, “I don’t want to completely bash other chef’s work but fuck, I thought it was just me? You said it got a 4.3 out of 5? The ambience and service was spot on but…the flavor for most of the dishes?”
“I knew you knew something about seasoning,” you continued laughing while carmy rolled his eyes, “should spend less on the tech and interior and more on some fresh herbs.”
“Isn’t it called simmer saffron?”
That made you laugh even harder as you gripped your stomach, “You’ve got that so backwards!”
And carmy couldn’t help but to scan your features as you laughed and he felt his chest getting somewhat lighter? Just listening to the sound of you and being beside you. What kind of feeling was this? He’s felt it before looking at someone else but that feeling was more of a tug with that light while this one slowly poured in from the black.
“Don’t be too hard on ‘em though? There’s always room for improvement.”
“Sure, but we both know the bear is better and you guys don’t have a waist list months in advance.”
“We also don’t have any celebrities showing up either.”
“Yet.”
Carmy taps his fingers against the steering wheel, appreciating that, “right, yet…I’m sorry about March. I was too in my head about so much shit and you’re right, I took it out on everyone and I’m still trying to make up for it.”
“Effort doesn’t ever go unnoticed if people look and feel it hard enough.”
Carmy chews on his lips at that, “if you believe that…then why do you feel what I said about dating—uh us—about us dating is out of the blue?”
“I said that?”
“Your eyes did. It’s the most expressive thing about you which is funny to me when you talk so much shit about mine when you hide the rest of it away on your face. It’s fucking confusing but I think I gathered that from our dinner tonight.”
Carmy was just as detail oriented as you. It was in his language with food and maybe even in his tattoos that you tried to understand starting with his fingers first. The way he spoke about what he would do with the dishes that were lackluster, except for the dessert—that was pretty good. Carmy wasn’t much of a talker because he wasn’t sure how to express himself, always been that way since you knew of him at Noma…but he told just enough in his dishes and you told just enough between the lines you wrote.
Someone just had to look hard enough.
“…I ever tell you I was engaged? Of course I didn’t, we’re still…I don’t know what the hell we’re doing here Carmen but I’m starting to sense that we could be special if we both want this badly.”
“What do you want?”
“Does anyone ever really know?” You laughed, “ I guess someone to look past the circumstanial and I had that once but then he died. So that was the end of that.”
“You swore off love.”
“Love is many things but maybe I closed off the long lasting part.”
Carmy could relate to that as least with family. He never had much interest in romance even growing up because he lacked that confidence in anything being permanent besides the chaos he’s used to, then he found some of it once he proved what he fucking set out to do yet cooking was all Carmen really opened himself up to. While Luca and others encouraged him to have a night out in the town, he always left early or if there was one person that caught his interest, they get to talking and both get bored of each other since Carmy hardly made the move to take them back to his. Before Noma?
Maybe.
Back in Paris there was one that could have been permanent but Carmy had to break her heart since Noma was calling. Culinary was his true love and he honestly couldn’t tell you what she even looked like now if you asked him. Things that should have mattered tended to get buried in the blue of his mind unfortunately.
He didn’t have the time to be attached and you didn’t want to have your heart ripped out again.
“How’d—
“He was a firefighter.” Was all you said and just those words alone told carmy it was anything but peaceful.
It took a lot for carmy to scream at himself how Michael went out and he imagined it might have been the same for you. So he wouldn’t dare ask for further morbid details because what did that help?
So maybe you weren’t wrong about the both of you not being ready to take that step on going on dates but change was everlasting.
“Uh—what about breakfast then after that not so great meal?” Carmy asks as he pulls off from the curb now.
You think about it. Really think about it that carmy starts to assume you may have dozed off.
“Depends on the time honestly? And who am I to turn down a free meal?” You beamed at Carmy who lifts his shoulders with a chuckle.
Carmy explains, “Syd and I usually start our days early, sometimes even earlier for me if I don’t get enough hours in. but thanks to the reno those on the early shift can get prep ready and I heard…you’re not a morning person?”
You’re just as sarcastic but there’s no lies, “I don’t even know my name or birthdate when I first wake up…what do you think?”
Carmy snickered at that, “okay? So how does 10am sound?”
“That’s pushing it but…I think I can be there so that’ll give me the rest of the day to work from home.”
Carmy nods, “can’t wait to read it. Shake on it?”
“On what? My review or showing up?”
“Both.”
“I’m not sending you a sneak peek, maybe syd or even nat but not you.”
“Ouch.” Carmy mocks, still waiting for your hand to touch his.
And when you do there’s a spark, that makes you yank your hand back and you feel like you’re in one of those cheesy teen movies.
You’re aware carmy’s felt that too but he just clears his throat and placed his hand back on the steering wheel. Leaving you to lightly massage the palm of your hand, now glancing at the profile of carmy’s face.
Life takes time to live but once you start to just let it be, the green starts to stand out more and can be equally as joyous…once you get through the rain and mud that is.
And once the ice blue sets back on you, the both of you can’t exactly see the future but there’s always warmth waiting for the cold to give them a try.
𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡
February fluff anthology series continues here.
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xblackreader · 2 months
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newtkive · 3 months
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shift shenanigans - social media au (pt. 2)
note: yes there’s the main work chat w carmy, the secret coworker chat w/o carmy, and the secret secret bestie chat w syd, marcus, and yourself. it would be canon.
warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes
part one
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liked by carmyberzatto, marcus.brooks11 and 40 others
chefboyardee: life lately
see all 9 comments
syd_adamu: that pho was life changing
↳ chefboyardee: i think it was the best i’ve ever had
marcus.brooks11: feet off the table @syd_adamu
↳ chefboyardee: leave my girl alone
↳ richietheking: I knew you guys were lez
↳ syd_adamu: we aren’t and you can’t say that
↳ chefboyardee: oh.. we aren’t? ☹️😔
↳ syd_adamu: 😑
carmyberzatto: 🍲🔥
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THE GOLDEN TRIO
[ 7:45 AM ]
y/n: did you see
did you see
did
you
see
ogmgokggkowkfofsk
syd: pardon??
what did richie do oh my god
did he post another picture of him with the gun from that one day
fuckkkk carmys gonna be so mad
marcus: nope i wish
y/n: he commented on my post 😭😭😭😭
syd: who
marcus: think about it
who else would cause this reaction
y/n: carmy!!!!!!!
i woke up to him commenting 🍲🔥 😍😍😍😍
syd: woah and the heart eyes?
y/n: no that’s my addition
syd: the bar is in hell
HES YOUR BOSS
y/n: AND I WANT HIS BABIES??
marcus: y’all so hype to be pregnant THEN BOOOMMM ‼️ THE BABY’S UGLY AND BALD WITH ECZEMA 😩🤨
syd: LMFAOOOOO WHOS YALL THO????
y/n: bye im done
im leaving for work.
don’t talk to me ever again
done.
marcus: bye 👋
why do you leave so early fool
syd: so she can be teachers pet
marcus: smh always there before everyone
y/n: not true.
syd: i thought you weren’t talking to us
y/n: 😒
marcus: want me to bring y’all an iced latte again
y/n: …. 😁
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WORK
[ 8:15 AM ]
y/n: AYOOOO
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great job cleaning up after work yesterday 😊👍
richie: Is this a joke?
y/n: why would i joke about such a thing
carmy: Y/n what are you doing
y/n: u said to tell everyone their housekeeping is shitty
carmy: No I said I was going to tell them that, and you said no I’ll do it
This is not what I meant
y/n: well you yell too much
marcus: ouch
that’s my station 😔
carmy: Well clean it better
y/n: im using reverse psychology and positive reinforcement
carmy: Not what that means
y/n: well notice how no one’s mad at me
im making alliances day by day
richie: You’ve worked here for two years and we are already friends
y/n: so you’re saying you aren’t my ally
richie: No
We are definitley in an alliance
y/n: love u richie
richie: Don’t go that far
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chefboyardee’s instagram stories
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WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩
[ 3:25 PM ]
y/n:
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he so fine im bouta cermmmmm
syd: …..
marcus: :O
y/n: why are you acting shocked
like i haven’t said this daily
tina: Woah girl who?
y/n: HUH
richie: I’m not in the picture I don’t get it
syd: let’s just keep working before carmy notices
tina: I don’t care I’m on smoke break. Who are you talking about girl? Spill the tea..
marcus: she was talking about me you guys
y/n: the guy in the back
oh i mean yeah marcus
tina: The meat delivery guy? He has a wife..
y/n: we are having an affair
marcus: no it’s about me
richie: I didn’t know Marcus and Y/n were a thing..
tina: Something ain’t right. No way they are.
marcus: we aren’t it’s just our sense of humor
y/n: i was just being funny!
tina: What did Jeff just yell inside?
syd: came out of the office and said “just cuz we’re slow doesn’t mean you can play on your phones” 👍💯
tina: Whatever. No chance Y/n meant Marcus. You got the hots for Jeffrey?
y/n: what no
tina: Well I wouldn’t blame you. He’s cute
y/n: OMG RIGHTTTTTTT
its the tattoos isn’t it
richie: You have to be fucking joking
tina: I was playing..
y/n: im confused
syd: that was cruel
marcus: who cares it’s not a big deal
y/n: so you don’t think he’s cute tina?? ☹️☹️
tina: No he is cute… for you 😝
y/n: this is humiliating
richie: I’ll tell him
y/n: NO
stop
sSTOP THATS NOT FUNNY
richie im not joking i’ll put a bomb in your floorboards
richie: I’m just fucking with you kid
tina: This isn’t over.
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THE GOLDEN TRIO:
[ 3:40 PM ]
syd: y/n….
marcus: you look like a ghost y/n
y/n: i cannot believe i sent that to the wrong gc
i’m done im so done
marcus: stop looking so sad it’s making me feel bad
syd: it’s okay! just be thankful it wasn’t to the work groupchat with him in it..
marcus: true it could be worse
y/n: i guess so
thank you for trying to cover for me marcus
marcus: anytime you know i got you
syd: let’s get back to work before we start looking obvious
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veryberryjelly · 1 month
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alarm
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carmen berzatto x fem!reader
lyric prompt ; 'we lost track of time again' - maroon - taylor swift
𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ⚜︎ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
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dating carmen could be difficult sometimes with how hard and long he worked at the restaurant, but that was definitely made up for by the times when he was here.
the times when he could knock off of work early for a movie night with you.
or the mornings he had worked into his schedule once a week to sleep in with you.
you had made a deal a few weeks ago that you just wanted one morning a week when you were both free so carmy was able to catch up on sleep and general health.
when he was working it was very obvious how drained and exhausted he could get, so this one morning was for both of your benefit.
you got to see more of your boyfriend and he got to recharge for one morning a week.
waking up before carmen on these mornings was not a difficult task.
while the first time you tried to slip out he always pulled you back against his chest, the second time you were much slicker about it.
you'd slip out of bed, shower and get dressed and then make coffee and start breakfast.
you always wanted to make these mornings as easy as possible for carmen so he could actually enjoy them rather than worrying about something you could easily do for him.
and today was no different. you slid out of carmen's arms and did a quick and quiet morning routine before sitting yourself at the kitchen counter with a coffee and some paperwork you had to get done today.
you were sat there in the morning glow of the kitchen for about an hour before you heard a rustling in the bedroom that brought your attention.
your eyes were pulled from your papers at the creaks you recognised as the noises your bed made and a smile spread across you lips as you spotted your very disheveled boyfriend emerging from the rumpled sheets.
you shuffled your papers together and slid them back inside your bag before moving across to the coffee pot to make a fresh one for both yourself and carmen.
as you were pouring two fresh mugs you felt a set of strong arms winding around your torso.
a warmth spread up your back and a weight settled on your shoulder causing a smile to bloom on your lips.
" morning, bear " you muttered quietly, halting what you were doing momentarily to lean back against his broad chest.
" morning, beautiful " he replied, his face briefly buried in the crook of your neck, pressing a short kiss to the skin before pulling back so you could continue what you were doing.
you picked up both mugs, offered one out to him and then lead him towards the couch so you could both enjoy your morning.
a morning that consisted of drinking coffee, having a bagel and promptly falling asleep tangled on the couch, your head pressed against his chest, relishing in the steady thumping of his heart.
it was only a vibration of carmen's phone underneath your stomach that woke the both of you.
you only shifted slightly when he reached to grab it for between you and then rested back as he answered.
" syd?...what..." he pulled the phone back from his face to check something on his screen " oh shit, my bad, we lost track of time again...we'll be there in 20 " he explained before hanging up the phone.
he set the phone down on the couch before his hand lifted to brush some hair from your face.
" we gotta go, baby. shouldda been down at the restaurant 10 minutes ago " he said, moving to ease you up slightly
" shit. " you replied with a laugh, sitting yourself up against the couch to gain your balance before standing. " we really need to start setting an alarm "
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@con-gee
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sydscarm · 2 months
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end of beginning, part one.
carmen berzatto x childhood bestfriend!reader word count : 2.3k warning(s) : none!
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and when i'm back in chicago, i feel it. another version of me, i was in it.
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9 YEARS AGO.
"i don't understand why you're so mad at me! you said you were fine with me working at the beef!"
this was the first and only fight they would have about this. after begging and begging his older brother to hire him at his restaurant, carmen berzatto was still not even allowed on the premises. carmy really just wanted to take orders. or sweep. or wash dishes. or just anything. but no. micheal berzatto wouldn't even let his little brother in the front door. carmy had complained to his best friend tirelessly about how much he wanted to work at the beef and how hard he had worked to prove himself to his older brother and she listened intensely. she too had applied at the beef but since mikey wouldn't even hire his own flesh and blood, she knew she had no shot at getting the job herself. being the younger sister of micheal's best friend came with its perks, of course. she was always invited to christmas dinner and had been given the recipe on how to make the best italian beef sandwiches. but it also came with its downfalls. being the same age as his younger brother, mikey held her to almost the same standard that he held carmy. she was only allowed at the beef on special occasions and she thought she had no chance at being bestowed the honor of washing dishes in the dirty kitchen of the beef.
two months ago, y/n had tagged along with her brother, richie, on a run to the restaurant. richie had to drop off paperwork for something she really wasn't interested in and after relentless begging, he had let her come with. it was only supposed to be a short trip. they were going to run into the shop, drop off some papers, and maybe get a sandwich to-go. but what was supposed to be a quick visit turned into a multiple hour affair. richie and mikey had gotten to talking and there was no stopping it when mikey started on one of his tangents. somewhere in their hours long conversation, y/n's older brother had decided to throw his sister a bone and mention to his friend that she was "on his ass" about wanting to work at the beef. mikey had immediately shut him down but after glancing at the girl sitting nearby, a pout on her lip and her hands folded together in a silent plea, he reluctantly agreed to give her a job. it was only after school and on the weekends and the pay was terrible and she was only allowed to clean tables and mop the floors, but it got her in the door. she was ecstatic.
as soon as she got home, she immediately called her best friend. the excitement was evident in her voice, which in turn made carmy's heart race as he waited anxiously for what she going to tell him. his smile dropped and his stomach churned when the words "i got a job at the beef" left her mouth. he could hear the grin in her tone and she could hear the long pause carmy took after she told him the news. she apologized profusely, of course. she knew how much that job had meant to him and she felt guilty that she had gotten it instead. she assured him over and over that if he didn't want her to take the job, she wouldn't. their friendship was much more important to her than $7.25 an hour and sweeping up pieces of beef that had fallen to the floor. she could hear him gulp and sigh and she fully expected him to tell her no. but instead she heard him stutter, shuffle around, and say, "no, it's fine. i'm happy for you."
that was two months ago. y/n hadn't done much else in her time working at the beef than mop and take an order when mikey let her. it wasn't fun and the pay was awful, but y/n couldn't remember the last time she would wake up that excited. the day that her and carmy had their fight, she had gotten up early on a saturday, put on her non-slip shoes and a "the original beef of chicagoland" t-shirt, and sat in the car while she waited for richie. they had gotten there earlier than normal and the chefs were in the beginning stages of prepping for the day. y/n had put her stuff in the office, there was no locker for her, and prepared to sit around all morning until the restaurant finally opened. she had only been sitting for about 15 minutes when mikey popped his head in the door. 
"yo, honey," he had started, the nickname he gave her 16 years ago making its usual appearance, "do you wanna help us prep today?"
she was shocked. her mouth was agape and she just stared at him. did she want to prep? to her that was the equivalent of asking her if she wanted a million dollars. "uh…" she looked around the room. she was kind of unsure if she was being pranked or not.
mikey laughed. "you're just chopping fucking onions and tomatoes, dude. it's not hard." 
y/n, albeit nervously, laughed back. "uh, yeah! y-yes. i would love to help prep."
"then c'mon."
she was on cloud nine. for two hours mikey let her cut tomatoes and peppers and onions and stir a pot or two. she was smiling the entire time. richie and mikey had laughed at how excited she was but she didn't care. this was the most exciting thing that had happened to her thus far. after her shift was completely over, the floors mopped and the open sign turned to close, she ran all the way from her house to carmy's. she opened the door without knocking and took the stairs two at a time to get to his room. 
"bear! guess what?!" she was out of breath, bent over with her hands on her knees. carmy was sitting in his desk chair facing her with his eyes wide and eyebrows furrowed. she had just burst into his room yelling after all. 
"what?" he had chuckled at her. 
"mikey… fuck, give me a second." she was still catching her breath.
"did you run all the way here?" carmy asked. it wasn't the first time she felt she had news so important that she ran the mile from her house to his. 
"yes! anyway," she was bouncing on the balls of her feet, a telltale sign she was about to burst with excitement, "mikey let me help prep today! isn't that so exciting! it was only cutting onions and tomatoes and what not but he-"
carmy had tuned her out. he was fine with her working at the beef, really. he was happy for her. but only if she was washing dishes. it was a low level job. it didn't require any of the chef skills they were both so proud of. he was fine with that. he didn't need to prove to mikey that he was capable of wiping tables but his knife skills were something he was really proud of. he would never say this to y/n, but his knife skills were better than hers. and mikey let her chop vegetables. 
"are you serious?"
she was mid sentance and her smile shook a little bit when he interrupted her. "uh, yeah! isn't that so cool?"
he rolled his eyes. he didn't mean to, not really. the jealousy was basically oozing from his pores. "yeah. yeah that's super fucking cool, y/n." 
she just stood there, eyebrows furrowed. "are you mad at me?" 
carmy swiveled around in his chair to rest his elbows on his small desk, his hands coming up to cover his face. a knot began to form in his throat and his breaths started coming out a bit shaky. he wasn't angry at her persay, he was more angry at mikey than anything. ever since y/n got her job at the beef, carmy had started working so much harder in front of mikey in hopes that he'd hire him too. he'd get to work with his best, and only, friend and maybe, if he practiced hard enough, mikey would let him prep sometimes. but none of it had mattered. mikey was going to let y/n work at the restaurant and let y/n prep and leave nothing for his own brother.
"i mean i'm not exactly happy," carmy mumbled through his hands. 
y/n stood behind him, playing with her fingers. she was kind of unsure of what to say. she would offer to quit to save their friendship, but she didn't really want to. she really liked working the beef and after today, there was a hope deep inside her that mikey would let her take on bigger duties. 
"i could talk to mikey again, if you want. you know, to see if he'll reconsider hiring you."
carmy groaned. i wasn't really about having the job anymore. it was more about mikey trusting her more than he trusted him. he spun around quickly, his arms falling back to his sides. "i don't even know why you took that job in the first place."
she was taken aback and she scoffed, almost as a reflex. "what? you said you were fine with it!" "well obviously i'm not!" he yelled at her. he yelled. carmy had always been soft spoken and shy. it was only recently that he started talking back to his mom and, apparently, yelling at his best friend. 
y/n just stared at him. "well, i don't know what you want me to do about it now."
"quit."
her eyes widened and her stomach dropped. she could feel that he was going to say that, but hearing it out loud was much different. "what?"
he stepped closer to her and she could see the anger in his face. his eyes were filled with tears, though. the anger on his face a direct contrast to the sadness that filled his eyes. "i want you to quit."
y/n lowered her head under his gaze. she was never one to shy away from carmy but you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. and she almost gave in. she almost told him yes and that she would quit in order to make his pain go away. but she couldn't. she loved that job. she loved the way the kitchen smelled while everyone was prepping and she loved the soft sound of mikey's radio ringing out from back of house. she couldn't give that up. even if it meant breaking the heart of her best friend.
"i can't," she whispered. 
carmy's stomach churned and for a second he thought he was going to throw up. he knew she was going to say no. and he felt awful for the thoughts clouding his mind. the ultimatum left his mouth before he had thought enough about it to stop it.
"i-if you keep working at the beef, i don't.. i don't think we can be friends."
if she wasn't on the verge of tears before, she is now. she tried to blink away the tears clouding her vision but they just rolled down her cheeks. what was she supposed to say? carmy was her best, and only, close friend. she had other friends, sure. but none of them understood or knew her the way that carmy did. they had been best friends since birth, thanks to their older brothers. but she couldn't quit her job at the beef, she knew that. and as much as he didn't want to admit it, carmy knew it too. 
"that's… really selfish, carmen."
he knew that. he knew that before the words had even formed in his brain. but hearing her call him selfish coupled with the fact that she called him carmen, something she never did, ignited something in him. a rage that he had never felt before and he didn't even know if it was directed at her. 
"i think choosing a fucking job over your friendship with me is even more selfish!"
she scoffed, the tears drying almost immediately. "i don't understand why you're so mad at me! you said you were fine with me working at the beef!"
"that's just not something you do, y/n! i've wanted that job years longer than you! you just wanted to work there because don't have any hobbies other than fucking following me around!" 
ok. ouch.
"i like my job at the beef so much because it gives me chance to get the fuck away from you!" she didn't mean it, but she needed to find something to say that would hurt him as much as he hurt her. "i get that you don't have any other fucking friends but god! asking me to quit my job because you don't like that i'm spending time away from you is pathetic." 
he was taken aback. that hurt. fighting with someone who knows you better than anyone else is a risky move. they both knew exactly what to say that would hurt each other the most. 
y/n grabs her keys that she threw on carmy's bed and turned to fling open the door.
carmy scoffed. "i don't know who the fuck you are anymore." 
"not your best friend, apparently." and with that, she slammed his bedroom door. 
and she was right. after being no contact for nine year and two moves to new york later, they both have new best friends. until mikey died and they both move back to chicago, only to find that the beef was left to two people. the names on the operating agreement? y/n jerimovich and carmen berzatto.
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