#cars are great! I’m tired of people saying they aren’t!

[foxgloveinspace]

If you think cars don’t grant freedom you live in a city, don’t leave the city, and don’t plan on leaving the city.

I live in the middle of freaking No Where, and if I didn’t have a car it wouldn’t be ‘inconvenient’ to get to work, I wouldn’t be able to get to work, cause the walk is 3 hours to the nearest town.

You don’t think outside of your situation.

[skinreflectsthesun]

.

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Safety First

Sam and Dean Winchester & little sister!reader

Requested by Anonymous

Synopsis: you get kidnapped, and the boys have to find a way to find you

Warnings: hurt feelings, reader gets drugged, kidnapped, and injured (slightly). Panic attack, angst with a happy ending

“Dean.” Your voice was thick with sleep as the Impala approached a bar late at night. “Why aren’t we going to the motel?”

“I want to stop in here first,” Dean grumbled. The day of driving had worn him down, and he’d been a bit grumpy for the past few hours. “Maybe we’ll find someone who saw something.”

“It’s late,” you complained. “Can’t we do that tomorrow? I mean, we already know that it’s probably vampires.”

“I’m not gonna take a chance on that just so you can go to sleep,” Dean snapped. “We can’t ever afford to be stupid with this job, you know that. Stay in the car if you want.”

And Dean was out of the car before Sam could tell him off for being a jerk.

“He’s just tired,” Sam offered lamely. “Why don’t you come in and get a soda or something, this shouldn’t take long,” he added, but he didn’t wait for a response as he followed Dean into the bar.

You swallowed a few times to try to lessen the lump in your throat as you climbed out of the car. You wrapped your arms around yourself as the cold air bit into your skin, cursing yourself for even opening your mouth. How could you be selfish like that when people were dying? Hadn’t dad and Dean always told you the hunt came first, especially when innocent people were in danger?

“We can’t ever afford to be stupid with this job.”

Dean was right—you were stupid, and now Dean thought you cared more about sleep than about being safe for the hunt.

You shuffled your way into the bar, trying to keep yourself from crying while also trying to convince yourself that Dean was just grumpy, and he would forget about your complaining before the night was even out. You didn’t want him to think that you were selfish or stupid.

You almost didn’t noticed when you entered the bar, except for the fact that you smacked face-first into someone’s chest.

“S-sorry,” you muttered, feeling worse than ever as you tried to squeeze around the poor person that you had just barreled into.

“No problem,” a honey-sweet voice tickled your ears as a kind face came into your view. A dark-haired man with a smile just as sweet as his voice was looking down at you. “I like your shirt,” he added.

“Oh…thanks,” you said, the corners of your mouth twitching into a smile, your gloomy mood lifting just a little. It was your favorite shirt, and any compliment right now helped your low spirits.

“You look like you’re having a rough night. Can I buy you a drink?”

“Oh, um…” your senses were suddenly raised. Who was this guy, and what did he want? You were obviously underage, so why…

“A soda,” he added quickly, sensing your unease. “I’m sorry, I must seem like kind of a creeper, it’s just…it’s not very common to see a kid in here—in fact, I’m surprised you got let in—and I want to make sure you’re ok. Are you…ok?”

You felt yourself relaxing just a bit—this was just a nice stranger concerned about a kid in a bar. Maybe your hunter’s sense wasn’t as good as you thought, and you’d just been nervous for nothing.

“I’m ok. My brothers are…around here somewhere. But I’d love a soda.”

“Great!” The man led you through the crowd of drunk adults and to a barstool. “A soda and a beer, please,” he said to the bartender, who glanced at you for a long moment before turning to get the drinks.

The dark haired man passed you your drink when the bartender placed it in front of him, and once you had it you found suddenly that you didn’t know what to do or say. You didn’t know anything about this guy, and you couldn’t really tell him anything about you, so what were you supposed to say? You took a long sip of your drink, trying to make the silence seem comfortable.

“Do your brothers take you to bars often?” The man asked, a hint of humor in his voice trying to mask obvious concern.

“Only when we go somewhere new,” you said, trying not to lie but also trying not to alarm the man. “I guess they think it’s a good way to meet new people.” You took another long sip, hoping that the man wouldn’t start to ask any hard questions. You didn’t want to lie to this kind stranger.

But he didn’t ask any more questions—which was good, because your exhaustion seemed to be catching up to you again. You found yourself struggling to lift your eyelids, and after a few unintentionally long blinks you began to look around for your brothers. You spotted Dean in a corner, and you were about to slide off your seat and go to him when you remembered what he’d said.

“I’m not gonna take a chance on that just so you can go to sleep.”

You would just have to force yourself to stay awake…

But for some reason, you couldn’t, and the harder you tried the more you felt your whole body starting to sag, drooping down like a melting ice cream cone.

Hands suddenly caught you under your arms as you slipped off your chair, and you vaguely registered that it was the dark haired stranger. You tried to speak, but your mouth was just too numb—it felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls, and even though you got your jaw to open, you couldn’t force any sound out.

Between sleepy blinks, your eyes found those of the dark haired man. You couldn’t quite tell because of the fog in your mind, but as you finally lost your grip on consciousness you could swear that the eyes that met yours were pitch black…

…

“Sam.” Sam turned to see his older brother behind him, glancing around the bar. “It’s time to go. Where’s Y/N?”

“She came in right behind me, I thought she went to find you,” Sam offered as he joined Dean in the glancing search.

“What? No I thought she was with you,” Dean replied, looking suddenly more panicked.

“Alright, I’ll check this half, you look over there,” Sam said, trying to ebb his rising fear.

Twenty minutes later, they still couldn’t find you. Sam had even sent some woman into the women’s bathroom to look for you, with no results. Dean got the same lack of you when he went to search the Impala.

“Do you think she ran off?” Dean voiced the concern that had been nagging his mind since the moment he couldn’t find you. “I…I didn’t mean to snap at her like that, really.”

“She wouldn’t have left because of that,” Sam assured him, having thought of the same thing. “You hurt her, I do know that, but she wouldn’t have run.”

Dean cringed at Sam’s words.

“I really screwed up, didn’t I?”

“Kind of,” Sam sighed. “You can apologize if we find her.”

“When we find her,” Dean corrected harshly, hoping that he was right.

…

Pain pounded behind your eyes before you even opened them. Once you did lift your eyelids, it took you several long, panicky seconds before you could even tell the difference between opened and closed.

It was nearly pitch black around you, with only vague shapes making themselves known in the darkness. The floor was rough and scratchy beneath you, and it was cold to the touch when you put your hands down to push yourself up. You only made it halfway to your feet before an unexpected force biting into your wrist held you down, and the shock of it dropped you back to your knees. The rattle of chains accompanied your fall.

“Hello?” Your voice echoed off stone walls, tinny and weak. No reply came.

You tugged at the chain on your wrist, and found that it only allowed about a couple feet of clearance, which was why you could barely stand with it attached to the floor.

The weight of your situation hit you at the same time as your memory…

The man—the demon!—from the bar. He must’ve slipped something into your drink, and now who knew where you were?

“Help!” You cried out between your sudden panicked gasps of breath. You rubbed at your chest as it began to tighten in fear. “Somebody help me, please!”

Your voice bounced uselessly off the walls, your own desperation mocking you as it reverberated back to your ears.

A harsh scraping preceded a sudden burst of light as a door you hadn’t been able to see against the far wall started to open.

“She’s awake!” The kind voice didn’t sound so kind anymore, and the gentle features were twisted into a sickening smirk. “And how is our little visitor?” The dark haired demon stepped into your cell, and the light pouring in through the open door allowed you to see his raven black eyes.

“Where am I?” You demanded. “What do you want?”

“Both of those questions are on a need to know basis, and you don’t,” the man responded, chuckling cruelly.

“It’s not gonna work,” you insisted. “It-it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, because my brothers—“

The stinging pain of a strong hand against your face stopped your threats. The man moved so quickly that you had barely even seen him step towards you before he’d swung, slapping you backwards so that the back of your head slammed against the stone wall and your wrist was stopped painfully by the chain around in. You staggered forwards, tasting blood and trying to get the rusted chain to settle at a different part of your wrist—one not cut from the abuse it had suffered.

“You talk too much,” the man growled. “Try to threaten me again, and you’ll get a lot worse.”

You didn’t speak as the man pulled a cell phone from his back pocket and dialed. After a moment, he spoke.

“Hello, Winchesters. Now now, there’s no need for threats, I just want to chat. I found your little sister, you see, and I’d like to give her back. However, I’ve hit a problem; you boys have been sniffing around where you shouldn’t. You’re in the wrong town, and I want you to leave. As soon as we know you’re gone, we’ll take this little brat of yours and put her on a bus, and she’ll be back to you safe and sound. If not…well, we’ll be shipping her in a tiny little box instead.”

You found yourself sinking to your knees as the demon talked to one of your brothers, exhausted from the pounding in your head and weak from fear.

“Oh?” The man’s tone suddenly changed, and you found yourself trying to melt into the shadows as you shrunk away from him. “You want proof, huh?” He pulled the phone away from his face, and suddenly his black eyes were on you. “Your big brothers don’t believe that you’re here. How about we fix that?” Almost before you could blink, your arm was twisted behind your back and the demon was yanking you to your feet. He twisted you around and shoved you face-first against the stone wall. The wall was just barely too far away from the chain around your wrist, but the force of the demon’s blow had your wrist twisting at an odd angle against the chain, and it was enough for your nose to crash against the rough stone.

The cry of pain left you before you could even think to stifle it. You could barely hear the muffled protests of your brothers on the phone before the demon put the phone back to his ear and spoke again.

“Now, was that enough or do I need to get some real screams from her?…Thats what I thought. Be out of town by tonight, or…well, you already know.”

The demon threw the phone against the wall, and it shattered. He was out the door by the time the last broken piece hit the floor, and a moment later the door swung shut and you were once again plunged into darkness.

…

“Did you track it?” Dean asked, waiting with bated breath for his little brother’s response.

“Yes.” Sam took a deep breath. “Dean, are you sure about this? Maybe if we leave, she’ll be safer.”

Dean shook his head.

“It’s a demon, Sam. He’s not going to let her go, he’s gonna kill her. We have to do this, we have to save her.”

“Alright,” Sam sighed. “Alright, let’s go.” He watched Dean for a moment before speaking again. “Are you ok?”

Dean ran a hand over his face.

“The last thing I said to her—“

“Don’t,” Sam snapped. “Don’t do that to yourself. We’re going to find her, and you’re going to apologize to her. That’s not gonna be the last thing you said to her, because we’re going to get her back.”

“She just wanted to go to sleep,” Dean muttered, not listening to Sam. “If we hadn’t gone into that bar—if I had just listened to her—“

“Dean, stop. We’re going to save her. I know we will.”

…

You hadn’t realized how dark it was, or how much you’d appreciated the light from the open door, until you lost it. Your breaths came up shallow and unsatisfying as you cradled your dislocated wrist to your chest. You curled your knees under you, folding in on yourself as you hyperventilated. You closed your eyes tightly and tried to imagine that your big brothers were here—like they were the last time you’d had a panic attack.

You were on a hunt, and a vampire had knocked you to the floor before jumping on top of you and biting into your neck. You shrieked and struggled as the pain flooded your system.

Dean arrived almost immediately, but he couldn’t get a clear shot to lob the vamp’s head off without risking slicing your throat. He dropped his machete and tried to wrench the vampire away from you, but it was no use until Sam was able to join him and together the two of them tore the vampire away. Once he was off, it took a simple swing from Dean to take care of him.

You were lying on the floor, lifting your head away from the pool of blood that now covered the floor.

“Dean,” you whimpered as your breathing shallowed. You gingerly touched your neck, panicking even more when you noticed that the bleeding wouldn’t stop. “Dean!” You cried out again, terrified as your throat constricted from your panic and your head spun from the blood loss.

“Hey, hey.” Dean’s hands were on your face, cradling it gently as his green eyes danced in front of you. “You’ve gotta breathe baby, just breathe.”

“I’ve got you.” You felt Sam’s arms around your shoulder as he helped you into a more comfortable sitting position and supported you up. “Breathe with me, ok? In…out…in…”

With Sam counting off your breaths and Dean repeating. “You’re ok sweetheart, you’re safe, you’re safe,” you were slowly able to breathe through your panic attack.

But you didn’t have Sam or Dean now, and you couldn’t seem to grab hold of a single comforting thought as you sobbed and choked over each breath, unable to get air in, and unable to stop panicking about the lack of air.

The sound of the door opening and the blinding light that came with it barely registered as you rocked back and forth on your knees. That is, until you were suddenly yanked to your feet and a pair of black eyes were staring into yours.

“Guess who just didn’t leave town,” he taunted, and it was then that you saw the gleaming knife gripped in his hand. “And guess who’s gonna pay for it.”

“You are.” Your brain had barely registered the sound of your big brother’s voice before the black-eyed man’s eyes glowed yellow, then dimmed as he slumped to the floor, dead. “Hey sweetheart.” Dean stood behind where the demon had just been, blood dripping off the demon blade in his hand.

“Dean.” Your breathing had evened a little, but you were still crying as you reached out for your big brother. Your arm was stopped by the chain as Dean stepped over the demon’s body and grabbed hold of your shoulders.

“Are you hurt? You’re bleeding! Are you—“ Dean’s eyes landed on the cuffs, and he quickly pulled out a lock pick and got to work on it. As soon as you were free, you tried to wrap your arms around Dean, but he kept his hands on your shoulders as he surveyed your injuries.

“Dean,” you whimpered. “I’m-I’m so sorry, I didn’t know he was a demon, I didn’t—“

“Hey, hey…” Dean soothed. “None of this was your fault, not one bit. You’re safe now, I’m gonna get you home.”

“Hey kiddo,” Sam’s voice in the doorway turned your attention. “Ohh you’re safe,” Sam breathed in relief as he pulled you into his arms.

“Sammy,” you sobbed as you gripped onto his arm with one hand, holding your injured wrist close to your chest to protect it.

“Are you hurt?” Dean was still tugging at your shoulder, trying to assess your injuries. He stopped his tugging when he heard your whimpers and saw you trying to burrow closer to Sam. “Hey, you ok?”

“I-I thought he…I thought he was gonna…he…” you couldn’t seem to voice the fears that flooded your mind and stopped your breath.

“I’ve got you.” Sam’s arms tightened around you. “Nobody’s gonna hurt you, you’re ok…you’re ok.”

“Commere.” Dean wrapped you in his arms when Sam pulled away to make sure no demons were coming. “I’m gonna get you home—you’re ok now, I swear.”

Sam and Dean led you out of your cell and out towards the Impala, Dean’s arm wrapped around you the whole way. As soon as you were in the Impala, Dean had your arm in his hand as he inspected your wrist.

“Dislocated,” he decided. “I’m gonna have to…”

“Just do it,” you sniffled, shutting your eyes tightly.

“I’ll do it,” Sam volunteered, glancing at Dean. The two of them had a psychic moment before Sam took your small wrist delicately in his big hands and Dean crouched in front of you.

“Are you gonna start making stupid jokes?” You asked, already smiling as Dean grinned.

“C’mon now, you love my jokes,” Dean said. “Now, a priest and a demon walk into a bar—“

Dean’s goofy grin and cocky attitude already had you giggling when Sam’s fingers suddenly stiffened on your wrist and he twisted it into place.

You hissed in pain, cringing.

“I know, I know,” Sam soothed, pulling you into his arms. “I know, you’re ok now.”

“Let me get the rest of you cleaned up,” Dean said, gesturing at the scratches on your face and the blood across your lips and chin from your nose.

Sam pulled away as Dean took a first aid kit out of the trunk. Dean glanced sideways at Sam, who took the cue and slipped into the passengers seat to give you at least the semblance of privacy.

“I’m sorry,” Dean said. “For what I said to you, how I acted…and for letting you get taken.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” you sniffled as Dean rubbed antiseptic against your cuts. “I should’ve known he was a demon, I should’ve—“

“No,” Dean interrupted. “No, don’t do that. I should’ve been watching out for you, I—“

“Ok, enough!” Sam interrupted, shattering the illusion that he wasn’t listening. “It doesn’t matter whose fault it was. You’re ok now, and that’s all I care about.”

“I thought you wanted me to apologize,” Dean argued as a smile slowly crept onto his lips. Sam shook his head, unable to fight the lightheartedness that was creeping into the conversation. He chuckled—

“I wanted you to apologize for being a jerk, you idiot, not to have a fight about whose fault this was.”

You started to laugh, brushing the tears off your cheeks as you smiled. Dean turned to look at you, the grin still etched on his face.

“Commere you,” he said, pulling you back into his arms. “Sam’s right, I’m just glad you’re ok.”

“Me too,” you mumbled into his shoulder as you relaxed in his arms. Sam reached back, ruffling your hair.

“Me three.”

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl @chocorade @aestheticdaisies @inlovewhithafairytale @that-wannabe-vangoghgurl @casmustdiee

[coco-loco-nut]

Choices

pairing: logan x reader, pato o’ward x reader

summary: when your first love comes back into your life, you are stuck between two choices.

a/n: please enjoy my drunk, post-indy, fic idea (i wrote most of the plot while drunk at the bar. college towns are great guys 😂)

masterlist part 2

———————

“I am so proud of you, amor!” Pato hugs you as soon as he sees you after your graduation. He’s been supporting you since you joined the team as an undergraduate engineering last summer with Arrow McLaren.

“I couldn’t have done it without your support, Pato,” you smile, admiring your boyfriend. He would make sure to visit you when he got the chance, and he always picked up when you called needing to vent or asking for motivation. Your lock screen was a picture of the two of you at a hockey game you snuck him into the student section for, he showed up as a surprise that weekend to help you relax.

“Don’t say that, you got this because of your own merit. The guys send their congratulations, by the way,” Pato tells you. The only people who know about you dating are the other drivers, you didn’t want to risk your internship.

“I hope they aren’t too tired of me, I just accepted an offer for a full time position,” you tell him what you’ve been keeping secret the past few months.

“You deserve it. Does that mean you will be coming to Indy with me?” Pato asks, rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand.

“Of course. Now, let’s find my parents, I know they will want pictures,” you kiss Pato quickly before looking for your parents. He spots them waiting a few yards away and pulls you over. They have to leave after a celebratory lunch, but Pato stays to help you finish packing up your apartment. You utilize his muscles for putting things in your U-Haul trailer. He even manages to convince you to let him drive to Indianapolis with you.

It doesn’t take you long to settle in with the team that year. Your coworkers throw you a 23rd birthday party the next spring, inviting everyone who worked in the garage (including the drivers) to celebrate. You worked your tail off proving why you deserve to be there and they said you deserve to let loose before the summer.

Later that second summer you are on a date with Pato for your two year anniversary when you get a call from your boss offering a promotion, which you quickly accept.

“You deserve it, you’ve worked so hard,” Pato reaches across the table, grabbing your hand and squeezing it.

“Your support makes it possible, babe,” you reply, squeezing his hand back. You are so helplessly in love with him. At the end of the season, Pato has a ring picked out and he had a plan before he is flown out to Abu Dahbi to drive in free practice for Formula One.

Unbeknownst to Pato, while he is away you are asked to join a virtual meeting with some higher up engineers at McLaren.

“We’d like you to join our Formula One team as we finish developing next year’s car. We will assist in your relocation, all you need to do is say yes,” the offer is virtually laid in front of you. Your mind immediately goes to Pato.

“When do you need an answer?” you ask, making sure you don’t sound disinterested.

“Two days,” they say and you nod.

“I’ll have my decision into you by then. Thank you so much for the opportunity,” you tell them, mulling it over in your brain. A copy of the details pops up in your inbox.

“We hope you say yes,” they tell you as you leave the call.

As you read the document, you know what your answer is going to be. The next day Pato returns and you go for a walk through the local park.

“Will you marry me?” Pato blurts and your heart drops.

“Patricio-,” you start and he cuts you off.

“I know, we are young but-,” this time you cut him off.

“I’m moving to England. McLaren wants me to move to the F1 team, and they are offering to pay for me to get my Masters as well as helping with my relocation, and the money is good,” you start to ramble but stop when the hurt in his eyes matches the hurt in your heart.

“Mi amor, I can support you here, I have enough money for both of us,” he says, praying you didn’t accept yet.

“Babe, I know, but I have to do it for myself. I have to accept the job,” you say, silently pleading that he understands.

“What about us,” tears start rolling down his cheeks.

“I don’t know, Patricio,” tears form in your eyes as you say his name softly, he loves it when you call him by his full name.

“We can make it work,” Pato says, despite both of you knowing it won’t.

“Pato,” your voice cracks with emotion. The two of you know what has to happen.

“I know. At least keep this, it’s only meant for you. Maybe one day it will be on its rightful place,” he pulls out the ring and shows it to you. That’s when the tears flow, and he pulls you into him.

“Please don’t think that I don’t love you. I would say yes a million times if it wasn’t for this offer. This is the hardest decision I’ve ever made,” you cry as he holds you tight.

“I know. I love you more than you know,” he whispers. He walks you back to your apartment, leaving you with a heartfelt kiss goodbye. A few days later you are gone.

When you meet Lando and Oscar, you are wary of them, they remind you too much of Pato, but it only takes a week for them to crack your shell. They saw how sad you were and learned how young you are and immediately wanted to get to know the new American on the team.

You carefully balance work and classes, wishing you could pick up the phone and call Pato, but you can’t. Instead, you fiddle with the ring you keep on a chain around your neck, you added a P charm to the necklace.

“Y/n! I want you to meet Logan, he’s American too,” Oscar drags a blonde boy into the motorhome behind him during testing. You look up from your coursework and offer a welcoming smile.

“There aren’t many Americans around, are there?” you jokingly ask, motioning for Logan to sit down.

“No. So where are you from?” Logan asks as you quickly mark where you are at. Oscar slips out of the room, hoping his matchmaking skills worked as you tell Logan about your start in Indycar.

Oscar failed at first, you were determined to keep Logan in the friend zone. But he broke down your walls and somehow convinced you to date him a couple months later.

Everything goes smoothly from late May until October when COTA comes around. You visit your family the week before the race, and that’s when your mother drops a bomb.

“What are you going to do when you see Pato this weekend?” she asks.

“What?”

“Didn’t you see? Pato is driving free practice at COTA and Mexico,” your mom tells you and you feel your stomach flip, it takes everything in you to not reach for the ring around your neck.

“No, I must’ve missed that email,” you say softly. You do really love Logan, but there is a reason you can’t bring yourself to take off the necklace unless you are with Logan. There’s been times when you have wanted to tell him, Oscar, and Lando about Pato, but you never do, it’s too painful.

You arrive at COTA and it’s clear something is off, but you brush every question off. Pato arrives the same way, nervous to see you again. He is wearing a hair tie on his wrist, one that you left behind. He wears it for the same reason you wear the ring.

“Oh! One of our engineers is from America, used to work in IndyCar. Maybe you know her,” Lando says to Pato, not picking up on Pato’s uncomfortableness as Lando drags him around. It’s odd for the Mexican driver to be uncomfortable.

“Y/n, hi,” Pato awkwardly and breathlessly says, you almost drop your tablet from where you are standing in the garage. How is it possible for him to look this good.

“Patricio, hi. How are you doing? Tough luck on the 500, I meant to text you,” you say softly, setting the tablet down and approaching him and Lando. He can barely breathe, to him you’ve only gotten more beautiful.

“Thanks, it’s okay, I’ll get it next year. Maybe I would’ve won if you were there,” Pato ruefully smiles, your heart drops.

“Maybe, but don’t think like that. You’ve always been okay driving without me,” you match his rueful smile. Lando looks between you, a little confused. Pato goes to say something, noticing a P sticking out of the collar of your shirt where a necklace is, but Oscar interrupts.

“Hey, Logan is looking for you outside,” Oscar tells you, you can’t suppress the happy look on your face.

“It was nice talking to you again, Pato,” you tell the Mexican and quickly exit towards where Logan is waiting.

“How do you know her?” oscar asks suspiciously, picking up the longing look Pato is giving you.

“She’s my ex, she broke up with me when she moved to formula one. We were going to get married,” Lando cringes. he remembers how sad you were when you joined the team, it’s why he befriended you. “Who is Logan?” Pato asks Oscar, feeling like he’s missing something.

“Her boyfriend,” Oscar says, feeling the urge to defend his best friend and engineer, but also wanting to crawl in a hole and die.

“That’s something you need to talk about with her, if it makes any difference, she was unhappy for a long time after moving here,” Lando says, ending that topic.

Pato nods, turning his focus to the drive. Luckily for you, you are currently one of Lando’s engineers, so you are busy with him all weekend.

“Y/n, we should talk,” Pato approaches you carefully.

“Pato,” you say his name warily, it’s like a dagger to his heart.

“Please. Come with me to Mexico. I won’t try anything out of respect to your boyfriend, but we both deserve to talk about some stuff. Plus, Mami and Elba miss you,” Pato says and you pause to think about it.

“San Antonio is on the way,” you think out loud, still mulling it over.

“It’s just tomorrow that we’d be there, leaving first think Tuesday morning to get to the track on time,” Pato insists. Even if it’s a bad idea, almost all of you wants to go.

“Okay, I’ll join you,” you relent, and he almost hugs you.

“I’ll drive you from the hotel,” Pato says, turning to leave before turning around again. “You will have to unblock my number so I can text you,” he adds and you fight the smile playing on your lips.

“I never blocked you, Patricio,” you admit, and his heart melts at how you say his name.

“Oh, I will see you soon then,” he says, not quite sure how to reply, leaving you to pack you backpack.

“You okay?” Lando asks and you shoot him a weird look.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“We know you used to date him,” Lando says and your eyes widen.

“We?”

“Oscar and I, yeah. Wait, you aren’t even denying it,”

“I broke up with him to take the job here when he was proposing even when I wanted to say yes, we dated most of the time I was at Arrow McLaren, I still wear his ring and initial on a necklace,” you blurt, knowing Lando isn’t going to judge too much.

“Oh. Wow, ok. Is it a nice ring?” Lando asks and you tug the chain, pulling it in front of your polo. “He has good taste. What were you talking about?” Lando pushes further as you tuck the chain behind your polo again.

“I’m going to San Antonio with him tonight and tomorrow,” you say, needing someone to confide in that isn’t your college friends.

“Does Logan know?” Lando asks and you shake you head.

“That’s the next step, once you are done asking questions,” you bump his shoulder lightly.

“No, like, does he know about your history with Pato,” Lando asks, glad Oscar isn’t around.

“No, I can never bring myself to tell him. I think we both know that we might not last past this season,” you admit. Logan and you had said as much to each other a couple weeks ago. He admitted that he isn’t sure where he sees it going after the season.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Lando pauses, thinking about it.

“Don’t be, he knows that I had just gotten out of a serious relationship when we became friends and I know he isn’t ready for something long term yet. Obviously I’m still going to try to make things work, because I do love him, but I’m also going to take comfort in knowing that we tried,” you pull your backpack over your shoulders. Lando says a quick goodbye before you walk out to find Logan’s rental car where he is waiting.

“Hey sweetie,” he kisses you when you get in. Any tension in your body leaves when you see him.

“Hi, Lo, ready to get back to the hotel?” you ask as he backs out of the space.

“So ready, I just want cuddles and a nap,” Logan groans a little, you reach up and play with the ends of his hair as he drives. Despite you having a room from McLaren, you are staying with Logan in his room this race weekend.

“That sounds perfect,” you admire the way the sun makes his hair look lighter and his blue eyes clearer. You change while he takes a quick shower, tucking the necklace into a pocket in your backpack.

“Don’t go to San Antonio with Pato,” Logan says suddenly while you lay in bed with him.

“What?”

“Come with me back to Fort Lauderdale instead, please. I heard Pato tell Oscar that you were joining him, and I know your history with him even if you didn’t explicitly tell me. And I get it, it must be hard to bring up. I don’t want to lose you, I love you,” Logan whispers and you feel your gut twist as you are left with a choice.

Logan offers you a chance to start fresh and continue the new relationship you built, but Pato offers the chance to rekindle an old flame that never quite burnt out. How the hell are you going to choose.

part two

[headkiss]

I feel like I’m in withdrawal from ur Hotch stories!! I would love some sort of blurb w protective Hotch and BAU reader if ur taking requests for him!! Any scenario I honestly don’t even care I just love hurt/comfort w my guy

babe!!! not withdrawal!!!! thank u so much for requesting <3 i hope u like it | 0.7k fluff, teeny mention of blood

Hotch tries to stay calm on the job. He has to, really, to be as successful as he is. It’s hard with the things he sees, the things he hears. Even harder when you’re about to go and do something dangerous when he’s not there to help.

You’re the only one at the scene right now, and even though he’s trying to convince you not to, you’re about to go inside and catch the guy.

“We aren’t far,” he tells you.

“I know,” there’s a shout in the background, and his heart sinks ‘cause he knows what that means. “I gotta go in.”

Hotch utters your last name, concern, something like desperation buried under his firm tone.

“I’ll be fine,” you say, and then you’re hanging up.

“Garcia,” Hotch knows she’s on the other line, and he knows she’ll find him a shortcut without instruction because she’s great at her job and even better at knowing what people need.

“I’m on it,” she tells him, and then she’s rattling off turns to make through alleys to get to you quicker.

The unknown is the worst part, Hotch thinks. If he was there, at least he could be sure that you’re alright. He doesn’t doubt your skills, not for a second, but when it comes to you, he doesn’t seem to think so rationally. All he feels is the pounding in his chest that won’t slow until he knows you’re okay.

By the time he makes it, there are cop cars outside, flashes of blue and red paint the dark street where everyone’s parked. His tires screech to a stop, and he leaves the car parked and running when he gets out. There’s a cop pushing the guy into the car, another nodding at Hotch as he walks by.

And finally, finally there’s you, sitting in the back of an ambulance with a bandage on your forehead.

He all but runs over, his hands finding your jaw to tilt your face up towards him in a way that certainly isn’t professional but he isn’t really worried about that right now. “You’re okay?”

“I’m fine, don’t even need stitches,” you tell him.

“You’re bleeding.”

You sort of melt at his worry, at the almost unnoticeable shine in his eyes that you only see because you’re looking so closely. Hotch doesn’t have to say it with words, because it’s written all over him, the delicate hold he has on your jaw, the way his thumb draws a small pattern over your skin. Back and forth, back and forth. He cares about you.

“I’m fine, Hotch,” you say again, because he’s still looking at the bandage on your head with a furrow in his brows.

“You should have waited.” He doesn’t mean it, but he still says it. He knows this is the job, he knows it was the right call, but he should’ve been there.

“You would’ve done the same thing.”

“I know.”

His eyes still won’t meet yours, so you grab one of his wrists in your hand, squeezing it once, twice, three times.

“Aaron,” your voice saying his name is enough, Hotch’s eyes flick down and lock on yours, “I’m okay. No stitches, no concussion, just a little cut, alright?”

His fingers are still on your skin, calluses trailing down your neck until his hands are on your shoulders. There’s a trail of warmth that follows his touch, your eyes fluttering, your breath slowing.

He nods, “you’re okay.” It’s so quiet that he’s saying it to himself, even though you catch it. He repeats it, “you’re okay.”

Neither of you are thinking about the fact that you’re in public, that the team is probably watching you both and sharing looks with each other because they can see the feelings you and Hotch both have for each other clear as day. They are profilers, after all.

Hotch is only focused on you, and you’re focused on him and his hands and the sort of affection that’s rare from him, but speaks enough volumes to last a long, long time.

“I got the guy, didn’t I?” You say, trying to lighten the mood despite the circumstances.

“You did good,” he tells you, and the praise has something soaring in your chest.

You shrug, shoulders moving under his hands. “I learned from the best.”

And when you’re back on the plane, your head resting on Aaron’s shoulder where you’d fallen asleep, he doesn’t care one bit about the smirks he’s getting from the team.

He simply shakes his head at them, fighting a smile as he turns back to his paperwork.

[writing-blog-iguess]

Long Lost Friend

Summery: He was suppose to be dead. You watched as the building was burning, you watched as they lowered his coffin in the ground. He's dead, has been for years. So then why is he standing in your living room in a Red Hood cosplay, smiling at you like you saw each other the other day?

Warning: death, hurt/comfort

A/N: Mm, it's not exactly how I wanted this to go, but I like it. Enjoy! Feedback is always welcome.

Words: 2.3k

-----

You were tired.

After a full day of classes plus working at a coffee shop, you were done for the day. And on your way back from home all you can think about was a nice warm bath and sleep.

What you hadn’t anticipated when you opened your apartment door, was your dead best friend standing in your living room. Dressed as Red Hood, holding his signature red helmet in his hands.

“Hiya sweetheart,” he greeted with a small smile. Your arms dropped to your side, making everything fall to the ground.

“Jason?” you whispered and locked memories came rushing to the forefront of your mind without your permission.

You're eight again, racing through the streets of Gotham just trying to survive. 

“Come on Y/N! If you want to stick with me, you have to keep up!”

“But I’m tired Jason!” you shouted back, almost tripping on your own feet. “And hungry! Mom said she’s making dinner for us soon.”

“We’ll go in a minute,” he called back, skidding to a halt when he finally reached his destination. You didn’t stop in time, and ran into his back almost making the two of you fall forward.

“Sorry,” you mumbled as you stepped back and stood beside him. “What are we doing here?”

“I heard Batman was fighting the Riddler here, I wanted to see them fight.”

You made a noise, turning to glare at him. And before you could say anything, the doors to the bank busted open, and you watched Batman and Riddler fight their way outside.

“One day that’s going to be me.”

“What? Be someone fighting Batman?”

“What? No, I’m going to fight beside Batman.”

You were eleven, trying to get Jason to stop, but he won’t listen.

“Jason! What are you doing?” you hissed, looking around to make sure no one saw you.

“Because everyone thinks I’m a delinquent, might as well show them they’re right,” he grunted out as he pulled down the ratchet.

“Okay, but why care about what people think?” you questioned, “why give them proof that they were right?”

“Because they are,” Jason said with a shrug.

“Okay but why feel the need to prove them?”

“Because it’s fun,” Jason said and laughed when he succeeded in taking one tire off.

Y/N made a noise of frustration and threw her arms in the air. “But, out of everything you could have done, why Batman’s car?”

“Go big or go home, right?”

“You're impossible.”

“No one said you needed to be here,” Jason pointed out, setting the tire down with a grunt.

“Someone needs to make sure you don’t get into too much trouble,” you retorted. 

“I won’t, just go home Y/N. I know you have that test tomorrow you’ve been studying for.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.”

You didn’t hear from Jason the next day, or the next. You started to get worried and began searching for him after school and well into the night. But you weren’t having any luck.

It wasn’t until six months later when the new Robin appeared, did you finally get to talk to Jason.

You stared at the newest Robin blankly before promptly turning and heading towards the rooftop door. “Go away.”

“Awe come on!” Jason called, running to catch up to you. “Talk to me.”

“No, I have nothing to say.”

“Don’t you miss me?”

“No,” you said bluntly, and reached for the door handle when you stopped in front of the door. But before you could turn it and open it, Jason slid between you and the door, stopping you from leaving the roof. “Move.”

“I bet you did,” he said, ignoring the glare you sent him. “I missed you.”

“Good for you.”

“You’re mad, aren’t you?”

“Great detective skills you got there. Learn them from Batman?” you asked flatly, shooing him away from the door. He didn’t budge. 

“Is that what you're mad about? That Batman was training me?”

“I’m mad because you left. I’m mad because I thought you were dead. And you didn’t say anything, or called to say you were okay. I’m mad because you're here thinking everything’s going back to normal.  But you're wrong.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Okay.”

You’re fifteen, watching as the Joker is on TV laughing with a bruised-up Jason in the background.

“What do you think, Gotham? Should Robin live to see another day?” Joker asked, and laughed. “What am I saying? Of course not!”

You didn’t stay to finish the broadcast. You ran out of your house, ignoring your mom’s worried call, and ran through Gotham. You didn’t stop running until you reached the abandoned warehouse district.

Stopping in front of the fence, you huffed trying to catch your breath as you tried to figure out which one Joker was in with Jason.

You weren’t sure how long you stood there, but enough time passed that before you could move, one of the buildings blew up.

“No!” you could hear yourself scream. And that’s all it took for you to rush towards the building. But it was too late, the building was engulfed in flames and Batman stopped you from going into the building.

“Why didn’t you stop him? Where were you?!”

After that night, you don’t remember much of what happened. You faintly remember Bruce Wayne coming to your house and explaining to your parents about Jason’s death. You knew it was a lie, and you spent the entire time glaring at Bruce, hatred burning in your eyes.

You remember going after Bruce when he left your apartment. Remember seeing him tense up when you had said that Jason had looked up to him, had loved him with everything he had.

“He loved you Mr. Wayne, and you let him down,” you remember saying through the tears that streamed down your cheeks. “It’s all your fault.”

“I know,” he had whispered before climbing into his car.

You barely remembered the funeral service for Jason, but you remember the rain pouring down as you stood in front of the tombstone. Anger had swirled within you, who you were mad at you weren’t entirely sure.  

“Why’d you have to do it?” you whispered, “why’d you have to leave? Fuck, Jason. I want to hate you, but I can’t. I can never stay mad at you for long. You’re not even here, yet I can still see your stupid smile when I’m trying to be mad.

“Come back? Please? I need you back.”

But there was no Jason popping out from behind the tombstone, laughing. There was no answer, only the rain that softly hit your umbrella.

“Sweetheart?” a voice called out to you, slowly bringing you out of your thoughts. You blinked a couple of times and focused your eyes on Jason. “Where’d you go?”

“Jason?” you choked out again, pinching yourself to see if you were dreaming or not. “You’re here?”

“I’m here,” he confirmed, taking a step forward. You took a step back without thought, and felt guilty when you saw hurt flash in his eyes. “It’s me, Y/N. I’m really here,” he said as he opened his arms out.

Instead of going for a hug, your eyes roamed around him. When you narrowed in on the blood that was on his jacket, you went into action. “You’re hurt,” you noted, moving around him towards the bathroom.

“Not my blood,” he said, but he followed you all the same. You shook your head, and bent down to retrieve the first aid kit you keep fully stocked.

“Don’t care,” you said, putting the kit on the counter and opening it. “Take off your jacket and sit on the toilet.”

“At least take me to dinner first before you take off my clothes,” he joked. You sent him a pointed look and gestured to the toilet before going back to the kit. “Okay, tough crowd,” he muttered before doing as he was told.

He set his jacket down on the edge of the tub before sitting down on the closed toilet seat. “So, how have you been?”

You didn’t answer, instead you turned to him with cleaning supplies. “You cut your arm,” you said bluntly and watched as he looked down.

“Well, would you look at that.”

“It might need stitches,” you noted, “may I?”

“You know how?” Jason asked, surprised at the question.

“I’m in med school, I would think I know how to stitch up a cut,” you said and waited for an answer. Stunned to silence, Jason could only nod and you set to work.

You set forward, turning him around slightly so you could get to his arm better. Satisfied that you could reach, you set to work. As you cleaned the cut, Jason turned his head slightly and watched as you worked. “It’s deeper than I thought. It’s gonna need stitches.”

After cleaning it, you set everything aside and turned to grab the needle and thread. “It’s fine if it scars,” Jason said, watching as you threaded the needle. “What’s one more scar?”

“Maybe you don’t care, but I,” you said and set to work closing the cut. “Its my work after all.”

“I suppose.”

Silence settled between the two of you, and you tried your best to ignore Jason’s stare. You could feel his eyes on your face, and you kept the questions at bay. At least until you were done.

Once you finished, you stepped back and started cleaning everything up before leaving the bathroom. “Hey!” Jason called. You rolled your eyes as you heard him scattering to leave the bathroom.

You were in the kitchen when he finally joined, and he stood in the doorway as you heated up leftovers.

“You died,” you stated, sitting by the table with a plate in front of you.

“I did,” he agreed, joining you. You watched as he ate and wondered if he had anything to eat lately. “And now I’m not.”

“How?” Jason remained quiet, making you raise an eyebrow. “Don't be shy on me now Jason. Were you really in that building? Or did you escape without me noticing?”

That got his attention. He shot his head up to look at you in thought. “You were there?”

“I wasn’t close enough for the blast to hit me, but I watched it burn,” you said looking down at your plate. “Batman had to stop me from going in to try to get to you.”

“Sorry.”

“Not your fault,” you said with a shrug. Yet a spike of anger coursed through you as you thought about that night. You were angry, at Batman, at Joker, and maybe a little at yourself. But you stamped down the feeling, you were tired of being angry. “So, what happened?”

Jason was silent for a moment before he launched into what had happened to him. He explained that Ra al Ghul, the leader of a league of assassins, had brought him back to life with something called a Lazarus pit. And that was a whole bunch of questions you had.

He explained that it had made him into a different person, so he stayed with them and trained for the last five years. He only came back to confront Bruce about it. That made him decide to do something about it, and he became Red Hood. Which would explain a lot about how low the criminal rate has gone down.

Silence settled again as you digested everything.

“I tried, you know,” you whispered. Jason looked up at you but you kept your attention on your uneaten plate.

“Tried what?”

“To kill the Joker,” you clarified. You didn’t want to look up, didn’t want to see the shock nor the disappointment in Jason’s eyes. “I have notebooks of plans I came up with over the years. They’re very detailed but I could never figure out where to get the things I need.

“And when it came down to it, I just couldn’t. Not because Batman stopped me, because I thought of you and I knew you wouldn’t want me to become that person.”

You hear a scrape of a chair before Jason was in your field of vision. He crouched down beside you, and gently grasped your chin with his forefinger and thumb. You looked down at him when he moved your head towards him.

“You’re right,” he said, wiping a few tears that escaped your notice. “I don’t want you to become that person. I still don’t. I liked who you were as kids.”

“I don’t, she was a coward,” you said, causing him to laugh.

“Yeah, but she always had my back,” he pointed out.

“She died that night you did,” you sniffled trying to stop from crying.

“But I’m here now, maybe she’s something in there too,” Jason said softly. You nodded though you didn’t have much hope that that part of you was still there. Moving his hands so he held yours, he stood up pulling you with him.

He wrapped his arms around you and you snaked your arms around his waist, burying your face in his shirt. And that’s all it took for you to break down and cry.

Jason rocked you from side to side gently as he murmured comforting words as you cried. Going as far as to say that he’s staying, that he’s not going anywhere.

After a moment, your tears turned into sniffles but the two of you didn’t move from your hug.

“Why’d you come here, Jason?” you mumbled into his shirt.

“I didn’t have anywhere else to go,” he answered and that broke your heart a little.

“Well, my door’s always open for you.”

You felt his smile through your hair, and you turned slightly so you could look at him. “What?”

“There’s my girl.” Your face turned red, and you turned away as he laughed. “She’s in there somewhere.”

“Yeah, maybe. Just don’t die again.”

“I can try not to.”

And maybe you could hope that nothing that bad could happen again. You dared to hope anyway.

[ahonice]

lucky

part two

luke hughes x fem reader

word count: 5.2k

warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol, quinn & jack being rude to reader, angst & fluff

note: somethings might not match up to what truly happened, in games/school year and incorrect depictions of characters, this is a work of fiction. hope you guys enjoy, leave feedback, have a great day, love y’all babes <3

+++

you met luke during freshman orientation at the university of michigan, instantly hitting it off with him. he was your first friend in college, you hung out daily, went out to eat once a week on what he would call “date nights”, so understandably you quickly began catching feelings for luke. 

you truly lucked out, luke had told you two months after you first met that he liked you and shortly after you began dating. your relationship was great, luke was the perfect boyfriend and you liked to think that you were the perfect girlfriend. you hadn’t planned to meet his family so soon, but with homecoming and parents weekend coming up it was going to be hard to avoid. you were nervous, luke was also nervous because he would also be meeting your family.

friday came around and you sat outside with luke waiting for your families to arrive at the restaurant he had picked out for a joint family dinner, deciding it was easier to have everyone meet everyone all at once to hopefully avoid any awkwardness.

“luke, i know you said that your family will love me, but i’m still extremely nervous. if i need a moment at dinner, please just give me that.” you told him, he reached over and squeezed your hand in response. a car came pulling into the parking lot, luke’s head immediately perked up and a smile grew on his face.

“my parents and brothers are here.” he stood, pulling you with him. he noticed the shaky breath you let out. “baby don’t worry, they are going to love you. and in the worst case scenario that my parents aren’t the most fond of you, at least my brothers will like you, that is for sure.”

+++

ellen and jim loved you, they spoke to you all night. getting to know you, getting to know your family, and even went as far as to invite you over to their lake house this summer. you hadn’t had much time to talk to quinn and jack though, you had greeted them and introduced yourself but they never made an attempt at a conversation with you. although it did hurt a little, you decided to not make it a big deal, they’re probably tired and weren’t in the mood for the dinner party.

once ten o’clock rolled around our parents decided it was time for them to head back to their hotels, you hugged ellen and jim goodbye and waved to quinn and jack with a smile on your face, only to be ignored by your boyfriend’s big brothers. your smile fell, but you quickly picked it back up to say goodbye to your parents and siblings. 

“see babe, i told you they would love you.” luke said, bringing you into a hug once both families were in their cars. “i can tell my mom really, really likes you. she never invites people over to the lake house unless she has known them for a while.” you blushed at his words.

“well my parents really liked you too, my dad gave me a thumbs up like three times tonight.” luke laughed at what you had deemed as approval from your father. “hey, a thumbs up from a grumpy middle aged man is a big deal, and you got three of them.” 

+++

as time went on you and luke’s relationship only grew stronger. it was now winter break and you were making the three hour drive to luke’s family's house to have your gift exchange with luke, as well as the rest of his family because you had gotten gifts for all of them. you had made the boys a tie and a matching pocket square, and you made ellen a few hand towels embroidered with their last name and flowers, as well as a matching apron. luke had told you multiple times that it wasn’t necessary for you to make them gifts, but you insisted.

arriving at the hughes house you grabbed the gifts out of your backseat and made your way to the house. before you were able to ring the doorbell the front door swung open, quinn and jack looked at you and ignored your greetings. they just walked around you and towards what you assumed was one of their cars. ellen saw you before the door shut and quickly got up to greet me. 

“hi sweetie, it is great to see you. come on in, i’ll yell for luke.” she said helping you with some of the gifts and setting them down by the tree. “this many gifts for luke? he is spoiled.” she joked, causing a blush to rise to your cheeks. 

“oh well, i actually brought gifts for all of you.” ellen smiled and brought me into a hug. 

“luke is very lucky to have you.”

+++

quinn and jack didn’t come back home that night, leaving luke to insist that they could just open their gifts on their own time because luke very badly wanted to see what you had gotten him.

jim loved his gifts, promising to wear the matching set at his next formal event. ellen loved her gifts as well, immediately replacing the hand towels in the kitchen with the ones you had made. she also thanked you profusely for the apron, shocked you had remembered her complaints about the one she had before. 

“these are amazing y/n, you really have a gift.” jim told you before they left to give you and luke some privacy for your gift exchange.

“thank you mr.hughes.”

“call me jim dear.” he informed you, ellen quickly jumping in to say that she wasn’t mrs.hughes either.

+++

jim had kept his promise, and made luke send a photo of him wearing the tie and pocket square you had made him.

from: luke <3

*image*

my dad is wearing your gift tonight, he has already gotten compliments and questions on where he got them. 

from: luke <3

he keeps joking that he is gonna need some of your business cards, maybe you should start selling these.

to: luke <3

i’m very happy he likes his gift, and maybe…

to: luke <3

did your brothers open their gifts? did they like them?

from: luke <3

they’re still sitting in the living room sorry babe, they probably just forgot about them. i’ll remind them later tonight. 

+++

the next time you saw the hughes family was during the big ten championship. you had gone to support luke, sitting with his family and wearing the michigan hockey pullover you had, you didn’t expect anyone to notice the personalization you had added to it.

“y/n that jacket is amazing, did you make it?’ ellen asked you, gently touching the sleeves and seeing the “LH43” embroidered on the wrists. “boys look at this.” ellen got her older sons’ attention, pointing towards what you were wearing. they muttered a sarcastic “yeah it’s cool” and “looks great” never taking their eyes off their phones, you tried not to look too upset. 

“i got the jacket from the thrift store, but i added the details on the sleeves.” you told ellen, and now jim who had come back from the concession stand. 

“luke told me you liked pretzels, so here.” he said, handing you your favorite snack as you thanked him.

+++

the boys won the game, making them the conference champions. you continued to sit in the stands, watching the celebration and trophy ceremony, while the hughes family made their way towards the locker rooms to congratulate luke and the rest of the team. you had your phone out taking pictures and videos of the team, posting a few to your instagram. you and luke weren’t a secret, but you weren’t public, you only ever posted images to your private instagram account with about thirty followers, all those who you trusted.

you weren’t aware that luke’s brothers had come back, per their mother’s orders, to bring you back to the locker rooms. they saw you posting a few photos, captioning it “my baby is a conference champ baby” with a couple emojis that you and luke always sent to each other. scoffing jack quickly got your attention, “when you’re done using luke for attention my family is waiting for you.” and then he turned around, quinn quickly following after. your face fell, tears began welling in your eyes. you always had the idea that luke’s brothers weren’t your biggest fans, but that just confirmed it. they thought you were using luke, for what? you didn’t know. you took a moment to collect yourself, checking your reflection in your phone's camera and taking a couple deep breaths before getting up and trying to find the locker rooms, quinn and jack had failed to inform you where they actually were, but you eventually made your way there.

by the time you got there luke was already out, hugging his family and celebrating with them. the sadness that had taken over your mood immediately disappeared when luke saw you. he came up running to you, engulfing you in a big hug, picking you up off the ground and spinning you around causing you both to laugh. when luke set you down you noticed ellen filming you two, but luke got your attention again by giving you a kiss. you patted his cheeks lightly, breaking the kiss, so ellen could take a proper photo of the two of you. after a few more moments luke retreated back to the locker room to celebrate with the team, ellen sent you the photos and videos she took of you two and you sent some photos you had taken of luke during the game, as well as the video you took of ellen and jim celebrating the win. you said your goodbyes to the hughes, telling them that you hoped you would see them soon and that you were heading back to your dorm room. ellen stopped you, inviting you out to the dinner they were having with luke once he was all clear to leave the arena, but you turned them down, politely saying they should have a nice family dinner just them, but you appreciated the offer. you began walking out again, but you weren’t completely out of earshot, being able to hear quinn say “family dinners are for family only, not temporaries.” which brought back those tears you pushed down just fifteen minutes earlier, this time you allowed them to fall from your eyes as you stepped into your car.

+++

you didn’t see the hughes again until summer break came around, you would be spending a week at their lake house and you couldn’t be more excited. after a five hour drive you arrived, sending luke a text that you made it before getting your luggage out of the trunk. it had been almost two months since you last saw luke, after you had finished off the school year you immediately left for florida where you spent a month staying with your cousins in your families beach house and then after that you were in mexico with some friends, it was a relaxing, yet stressful, summer for you so far and you could only hope that your time at the lake house would be relaxing and relaxing only.

once you had settled into the guest room, much to luke’s dismay his parents wouldn't let us room together, and changed into a swimsuit you met luke in the backyard where he was gonna take you out on the boat.

“where are your brothers?” you hadn’t seen them yet, and you hoped you wouldn't. 

“they’re on vacation right now, they will be back in three days though. why?” luke asked, starting the boat's engine once you both were situated.

“just wondering, i hadn’t seen them yet.” you were grateful that you could at least get three days without worrying about what they would say next. you hoped that the relief wasn’t apparent in your voice when you explained your question to your boyfriend, the last thing you needed was luke finding out about what had been going on.

+++ 

your first day at the lake house was amazing, the boat ride went great and it was beautiful outside, you swear you took over one hundred photos of just the views during your trip around the lake. jim and ellen arrived back at the house before dinner, you helped ellen out with dinner, updating her on everything that had gone on in your life since you last saw her.

“wow lots of vacationing on your part, have you been having fun?” she asked while walking into the kitchen in the apron you made her, you smiled before answering.

“it has been a lot of fun, i can never complain about being able to break out my swimsuit collection.” you joked, ellen laughed at your answer before telling you that luke could never complain either.

“we’ve been teasing him all summer, he is constantly stalking your social media to see any new pictures or videos of you.” you blushed at her words, knowing that the only thing you’ve been wearing in your posts lately have been swimsuits. 

+++

once everyone had retreated to their own rooms for the night, and luke successfully snuck into yours, you began watching a movie with him. it was silent, the only noise being made was coming from the television, you would've thought luke was asleep if it wasn’t for him tracing patterns on the exposed skin on your back.

“are you getting along with my brothers?” luke’s question took you by surprise, but you should’ve seen it coming. it was pretty obvious that you never spoke to them, never made an attempt to become close with them like you had his parents, and now you’re becoming aware that the relief you felt knowing that quinn and jack wouldn’t be in town for a couple days was noticed by luke.

“yeah, we aren’t close or anything, but there isn’t any bad blood.” it was a half truth, you definitely weren't close with them considering that you had spoken to them a handful of times and each time went worse than the one before. you were sure they hated you, and while you didn’t hate them you did resent them for it, because who were they to judge you and your relationship without even attempting to get to know you.

luke just nodded, he could sense in your voice and the way you had shifted away from him that you didn’t want to talk to him about it.

“luke, i’m getting tired, you should probably head back to your room so your parents dont find out we’re hanging out in each other's rooms.” while luke understood that you had an actual reason for asking him to leave, he couldn’t help but feel that his question about your relationship with his brothers ultimately caused you to kick him out of your room.

+++

the next two days were amazing, you surprised luke with matching swimsuits you made for the both of you, both your initials embroidered with a heart were on his trunks and your bikini. ellen loved them, taking pictures of them on you two as well as just them before you had put them on, zooming in on the embroidery specifically in one picture before posting the set of images on her instagram. 

“babe you seriously have a gift, i’m letting all my friends know that if they need gifts for their girlfriends to come to you. i’ll upcharge them, don’t worry.” luke said, after fully examining your craftsmanship. you laughed and asked if he would make you share your profits. 

“of course i would, don’t tell my mom this but i’m only with you for the money.” he joked and you let out a fake laugh. you know he meant no harm, he had no clue the conversations his brothers had been having behind his back, the ones where they accuse you of using him for his fame or future wealth as an NHL player. 

“let’s get outside, i wanna tan.” you changed the subject, pulling luke’s arm to follow you.

“yeah let’s get outside–” luke pulled you against him, your back to his chest, “i wanna watch you tan.” you giggled before pushing him away from you and telling him to not get any ideas.

+++

the next morning you woke up to the sounds of luke and his brothers messing around with each other, you smiled at luke’s loud laughter. you noticed that you had slept in much later than you usually did, but you didn’t mind. you got dressed into a swimsuit and put shorts on to cover your lower half, leaving the top of your one piece exposed and quickly did some makeup and tied your hair into a messy bun before walking downstairs. you weren’t aware of the plans for today but you did know the boys were probably getting antsy waiting for you.

you entered the living room, gaining quinn’s attention first, the only brother who’s back wasn’t turned towards her. he nodded his head in your direction, making the two younger hughes face you. luke quickly came up to wrap his arms around you, but the joy on his face from seeing you wasn’t enough to distract you from the distaste of his brothers’. 

“i’m thinking today we four go onto the boat, i can teach you how to wakesurf. it’ll be a lot of fun, and you need the lessons. jack’s old teammates and friends are gonna be here in a couple days and they all love wakesurfing.” luke continued to ramble on about god knows what as he led you out towards the docks, his brothers having volunteered to grab the booze. you kept your eyes on him the whole time, you loved when he would talk about something and you could see the excitement and passion on his face. ellen saw the two of you, smiling at how enamored you looked. she took a quick photo of it and pointed the two of you out to quinn and jack who had just gotten back from packing the cooler.

“aren’t they adorable?” ellen gushed, happy to see her youngest son in such a healthy and happy relationship.

“yeah, they’re something.” quinn said, before quickly pulling the cooler back outside, leaving jack in the kitchen with his mom.

“they are pretty cute.” jack smiled. he began thinking that maybe you weren’t what he and quinn had assumed you were a couple weeks ago, after seeing how much you had meant to luke first hand.

+++

your day spent on the boat with the three hughes sons was an eventful one. you never actually went wake surfing, just settling to watching the boys do it and getting an understanding of it if you ever did want to learn. when luke’s turn was up jack took over the duty of running the boat and quinn took a spot next to me. you smiled at him, hoping that this would be a good chance to actually get to know quinn as this would be the first time the two of you had actually talked ever.

“my mom showed me those photos of you and luke, in the matching swimsuits. they’re cute.” you smiled at the compliment, but that was quickly wiped from your face by his next statement. “i know what you’re doing by the way.” you looked up at quinn confused, because you weren’t doing anything. “i know that you’re using luke. that you're gonna stay with him until you’ve been together long enough to trap him. with marriage or a baby or something else, and then you’re gonna use him for his fame and his wealth.” your jaw dropped at quinn’s harsh accusations. you didn’t know what soap opera he had been watching lately but it was obviously clouding his judgment. you swallowed the lump in your throat and blinked the tears out of your eyes after quinn walked away. but you didn’t let yourself dwell on the rudeness of your boyfriend’s brother's words, your lovely boyfriend was now in front of you and provided a great distraction from what just happened.  

+++

you spent some time swimming in the water when quinn stop the boat to eat lunch, luke joined you and brought his phone out, even though you told him multiple times that he was gonna drop it and to just leave it on the boat, and began taking pictures of you, and you and him together, you took a couple of just him as well.

“you should post those.” luke told you once you both were on the boat and looking through the photos that were taken.

“i always do.” you looked at him confused, you posted on your private account multiple times a day, it was your photo dump page.

“no i mean your main, i think these are really nice photos.” he smiled at you, blushing. you knew there was more to it though so you gave him a look. “-and maybe if you posted pictures with me and they knew you had a boyfriend all those guys wouldn’t be hitting on you in your comments and dms.” you smiled at his confession, he was jealous and wanted others to know that you were his, as well as him being yours.

“that is adorable luke, you’re possessive over me awww” the blush on his cheeks only spread and grew a deeper hue. you looked up to see jack smiling at you, the shock on your face came and went quickly before you gave jack a smile back before turning your attention back to your boyfriend who was now clinging onto you. you quickly snapped a selfie of you two, you smiling and luke looking at you with his chin resting on your shoulder.

“here i’ll post that to my story, and then i will post a huge collage of photos from this week when i leave.” luke agreed to your compromise. moments later you heard the sound of would i lie to you by charles & eddie, that was your guys’ song and it was attached to your story post. you smiled as you heard the fifteen second clip of the song play over and over again.

“jeez luke how many times are you gonna view her story.” jack chirped from the other side of the boat, causing you to laugh and luke to groan into your shoulder. you looked up to see jack smiling, but quinn was looking at you guys with an annoyed look on his face, he rolled his eyes when you made eye contact with him, doing quite some damage to your good mood as that reminded you of the conversation you had with him earlier, luke could sense the shift in your energy.

“you okay?” he whispered in your ear. you nodded, blaming it on being tired suddenly. 

+++

once you were back on dry land you went inside to shower and change, shortly after doing that you entered the kitchen and asked if ellen needed any help with dinner.

“do you think you could go into the basement and find my garlic mincer? i think i forgot to unpack it.” you quickly nodded and made your way to the lowest level of the house. 

once down there you turned on the light and began searching through boxes labeled “kitchen”. after finding what you were looking for you turned to go back to the kitchen when two boxes caught your eye. two boxes addressed for quinn and jack, wrapped in your families christmas wrapping paper. they never opened their gifts. you began to tear up, that was the final nail in the coffin that you needed to know that what you were feeling wasn’t an overreaction, they hated you. you quickly grabbed the boxes and hurried up the steps, placing the item you had gone into the basement for down onto the island in the kitchen before telling ellen, who’s back was towards you so she didn’t see your distraught state, that you were going to head upstairs because your mom was calling.

once in your room you shut and locked the door and let the tears that had been welling up fall. the sound of your bedroom door shutting and locking was enough to catch the attention of luke, but once he was at the door to your room and about to knock he heard your sobs. panic immediately rushed through him and he reached above the door frame to find where the key had been sitting. once he got the door unlocked he knocked as he was making his way into the door, his heart breaking at the sight.

you were curled up on the floor crying while holding onto two boxes, luke timidly stepped towards you.

“baby what’s wrong?” he asked, crouching down to your level. 

you didn’t answer at first, you just shoved the two wrapped up boxes that were now covered in dust onto his lap. luke was confused for a second before he realized what he was holding.

“they never opened them.” you said sadly, your tone making luke even more upset. “your brothers hate me luke, and i don’t know why. i don’t know what i did to them.” you began crying even harder, wrapping your arms around luke’s shoulder, he shifted and pulled you fully into his lap.

“what do you mean they hate you? they don’t hate you.” he said, attempting to comfort you but it didn’t work.

“they accused me of using you luke.” you finally told your boyfriend. the weight was now lifted off of your chest, until it quickly wasn’t. you didn’t want to tell luke for a reason and this was it. 

luke pushed you off of him and stood up, immediately making his was towards the hallway.

“luke stop, please, it’s not a big deal.” you tried to calm the situation, you didn’t want to be the cause of a fight between the brothers.

“it is a big deal y/n. i cannot let them say that shit about you, i will not allow it.” he stated before taking a deep breath. “what else have they said to you?” 

“luke–”

“i’m serious y/n, what else have they been saying or doing? i know there is more to it.”

you sighed before explaining everything to him. how quinn and jack have always dismissed your greetings, how they refused to talk to you, and how you would catch them glaring at you on multiple occasions. luke was visibly upset, his knuckles were turning white and his face was getting red. but despite his angry state he could still tell there was more to it, even if he hoped that was it.

“y/n.” just him saying your name was enough to make you cry some more and tell him the rest of the story. about when quinn said you were a temporary, the other name callings, and the one that happened just a few hours earlier. 

“quinn accused me of planning on baby trapping you, or forcing you to marry you so i could have access to your wealth and fame.” and that was it. it was enough to make luke jump up and basically run out of your room, you were hot on his trail. luke ignored his mother’s calls to see what was wrong, as did you, you needed to stop luke before something bad happened. 

luke picked up his pace once he was on the docks, effectively making you lose the lead you almost had on him. he ran up and punched quinn in the face and then jack as well. you gasped and halted your movements as luke began yelling.

“you fucking assholes, you never once try to get to know my girlfriend, never even do so much as acknowledge her, and you have the audacity to accuse her of using me, of planning on trapping me in our relationship, calling her names, dismissing her attempts to get to know you, throwing the gifts she spent hours making you two into a trash bag and hiding them in the basement.” 

tears had begun rolling down your face, somehow harder than before. ellen placed a hand on your back, to let you know she was there before she pulled you into a hug. whispering that she had no idea that this was going on and that she was so sorry. 

jack was quick to defend himself, saying that quinn was the one doing most of the name calling and accusations, which was true but he still participated in it. 

“i’m just looking out for you luke. we don’t know this girl or her intentions with you.” quinn said, defending himself as he slowly walked towards his youngest brother.

luke scoffed, “you would know her if you spoke to her, she has given you plenty of chances to get to know her and to find out what her intentions were.” he paused to look over at you, he began tearing up at the sight of you crying in his mom’s arms. “do you think i’m stupid? if i thought a girl was using me i wouldn’t be with her, y/n is good for me, and i don’t care what you guys think of her. she is the love of my life, nothing you guys do or say will change that.” 

the revelation causes you to stand up straight and unwrap yourself from ellen’s arms. luke just said he loved you, that you were the love of his life. more tears began falling but these weren’t sad tears, they were happy tears. 

luke gave his brothers one more disappointed look before turning around and walking towards you. once he was close enough you wrapped him in a hug, he began crying and apologizing for his brother's behavior.

ellen spoke up after a while, “why don’t you two go for a drive, get some dinner in town. i’ll talk to the boys.” luke quickly nodded and let go of you, grabbing your hand and pulling you inside so he could grab his keys. 

+++

you spent a lot of time parked at the public beach. you ate your burgers, watched the sunset, talked about what you were feeling about what had happened earlier and what had happened during the time that Luke was unaware of what was going on, as well as taking a cute photo of the two of you, cried out and faces red and puffy, and laying in the trunk of his car cuddled up. 

“i’m sorry i never noticed what was going on.” luke broke the minutes of silence you were having.

“it’s not your fault luke.” you said, shifting so you were able to look at him. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner.”

luke just shook his head at your apology, he soon closed the distance between you two and kissed you. 

“i love you luke.”

“i love you too y/n. i’m lucky to have met you.”

“oh i’m definitely the lucky one.”

+++

note: THERE IS A PART TWO YAY ok so i really like this one, i hate picking out names for fics though and lucky was the only thing that somewhat made sense because i used the word so many times...anyways hope y’all enjoyed this because i actually like this and that is a rare thing for me.

[abilouwrites]

THE BEFORE, AND THE AFTER

3

series Masterlist

(Og draft got deleted I’m sorry pookies)

It takes Bakugo three months before he winds up in my ER once again. This time less injured, with a large gash on his abdomen. I’ve just worked a twelve hour shift and am dying to get home. But alas I get called in to the trauma room where he’s just sitting, “called for you” He smiles weakly but lifts his shirt to show a semi-deep cut just at his ribcage, “hoped you weren’t off”

I groan a little as I slip my sterile gown and gloves on, grabbing a suture kit and bringing it near where I’m sitting, “uh-huh, can I take a listen to your lungs?” I ask taking my stethoscope from my pockets.

“Yeah. Can I get more of the pain killers?” He asks, crimson eyes flick over my figure and how I’m hunched listening to his lungs. Which sound fine.

“No, I’m just gonna numb you a little bit and then stitch you up” I clarify, gentling numbing the area and slowly pulling the sutures tight.

I hear him wince and inhale sharply, “you do not have gentle hands”

“Uh huh” I nod, “I just wanna get home. I’ve promised my roommate that I’d be there for dinner. And I’ve broken my promises more than enough” I murmur; dumping my gloves and gown into the trash.

“You have a roommate?” He asks; sitting up and pulling his mask off- allowing stray blonde hair to fall into his eyes. Which he quickly brushes out of his face.

“Yeah.. not all of us make almost two mil every year. But shes great I love her” I murmur, “uh yeah you’re good”

“Why don’t I take you out to dinner” he asks and now I know the morphine is talking.

“Ha-ha” I joke a dry laugh, “I’ll see you around. Just take it easy for a while”

I’m tired and burnt out when I slink through the door, listening to some jazz pop as I unlock the door. I’m not surprised to see Suki asleep on the couch. Stove off and food in the oven. I don’t bother waking her. She has a job interview with this tech company in the morning.

I open my door, clothes on the ground. A messy room, with makeup on my desk and medical books holding up the uneven legs. The little trinkets on my windowsill.

I’ve been working the past 48 hours, non stop— doctors are working less hours, which means the nurses have to step up. I’m working harder than I ever have. For the same pay.

I have the feeble energy to put the remaining clean laundry I have away before I stuff my laundry basket full of dirty clothes.

I flop into bed and am grateful I won’t have to work until tomorrow night.

Halfway through my shift I go for coffee. Mostly because this is my favorite coffee spot but also because hospital coffee sucks. There’s a shorter line than usual, people know this place but not very well. The nurses know it best, but I’m still a little astonished to see him there. Hair a little damp and eyes red with irritation. In the bareness of his hero costume, no gauntlets. Still those dumb boots.

I pick up my iced coffee, relishing in that first sip. The sip doesn’t cure my exhaustion; or the fact I’m walking a little under a mile back to the hospital.

But Bakugo never misses, eyes keen he spots me. Murmuring my name against the crowd, sliding next to me as I walk out. Light green scrubs and black clogs. The ugliest shoes but also the comfiest, “dynamight I haven’t seen you in a while” I tease gently as he smiles. Not even bothering to get his coffee.

“I’m almost due for my next visit then? Aren’t I?” He asks. A faint smile of that softened jaw-line. He’s not much taller than I am, 6’2 to my 5’7.

“God no, we’re so understaffed.. I’m working 80 hours a week and I’m still struggling on grocery and car and just everything.” I murmur a little, looking over at him.

“I’ve heard about the strikes, everyone says hero’s are the foundation of society but it’s carried by medicine” he speaks, a soft voice against the few cars that pass the streets.

“I know.. I’m just exhausted.. y’know?” I’m still quiet, “how has the stitches been healing?”

“All healed. Just a little sore.”

“And the wrist?”

“Because we’re out of your work place.. what’s it gonna take for me to take you out to dinner?”

I shrug back a laugh, but smile at him, “a lot more than that”

[neo404]

request !!

nicks bf has struggled with an0rexia in the past and nick finds out hes been st4rving again and nick finds out and its cute fluff

Take your time.

Summary: Nick notices you haven’t eaten all day, so he helps you out with that.

Tw: talks about eating disorder, throwing up mention, cursing, mention of reader seeing a psychologist.

Note: this is more of a 'Nick helps reader to eat' than a 'Nick tell reader it's okay and comforts them' bcs when i have hard days i need people to help me eat and not comfort me, but that is my expirience, so i hope it's close to what you had i mind when doing the request.

"You aren’t having lunch with us?" My friends look at me as I walk besides them and I shake my head.

"I'll have lunch with Nick." I give them a weak smile and they nod. It has been a while since I have felt this way, my phycologist says its normal to have step backs in the process of healing, but it’s really shitty to feel like I haven’t improved at all. My phone dings and it's Nick saying that he was outside my waiting for me, after saying goodbye to my friends I walk outside campus and see Nick standing outside Matt’s van. I smile and walk up to him and hug him.

"Hi, how have you been? excited for vacations?" he whispers to my ear.

"Yes, I can’t wait to go to the beach next week." I kiss his cheek quickly and enter the car. "Hi Matt, where is Chris?"

"Hello." Matt says looking at me from the rear-view mirror. "He is already on the park with everyone else."

"Cool, let’s go then." to be honest I was excited for the picnic, but yesterday something happened, I don’t know what, I don’t know why, but I don’t want to eat today, I don’t feel like it, I feel like I will cry if I do. Nicks hand grabs mine, kisses my knuckles and places our hands on his leg to play with my fingers.

once we arrived to the park we walk to a quiet part, where our friends were setting the picnic up. Chris come up to us and hugs me.

"Hiiiii! How was your exam? I hope fine, I bought you a drink." I wrap my arms around him and pat his back twice, he then let’s go and hands me a carton juice.

"Thanks Chris, and it was fine, I passed."

"GREAT! let’s eat to celebrate." Chris walks to the group again and sits beside Matt.

Nick and I sit next to Madi, who was talking with Nick about out trip to the beach next week. I sit between Nicks legs, his back against a tree, my back against his chest. I look down at the food Infront of me and gulp, the smell and all the food together make me feel sick. I look down at the juice Chris gave me and start playing with it, moving it around and tossing it here and there.

"Hey, you, okay?" Nick whispers to my ear. I turn my face a bit and look at him in the eyes.

"Yeah, just kind of tired. I’m okay."

"Okay." he kisses my cheek and keeps talking with someone, I don’t know who, my face goes back down to my hands.

"Hey, you aren’t hungry?" Madi’s voice is soft against my ears. I feel my stomach turn and I shake my head.

"No, I... I had lunch at uni."

"Oh, okay. If you want any snacks there is plenty." she gives me a warm smile that I try to give back.

"I’m going for a walk, be tight back." Nick stands up and grabs my hand making me stand up too. "Let’s go."

We walk around the park for a while. Nick buys a sandwich on a local restaurant nearby and we sit on a random bench.

"Did you really eat at uni?" he looks at me in the eyes and I feel my eyes water, I look down at my hands. "Don't lie to me, don't do that." I shake my head slowly. "Did you have breakfast?" I push my lips to the side and he lets out a sigh. "Okay, I know you had dinner, we ate together... Baby, look at me." I raise my head again, looking at him in the eyes. "Did something happen?" I shake my head. "Okay... you have you eat you know it." I nod, his faces seem hurt. "Help me eat this, okay?"

"Nick, I don't know if I can." I whisper.

"Just help me, we will do it together, okay?" I nod slowly. He opens the juice he also bought and handed it to me. "Drink first, it will help with the taste." I drink a bit of the orange juice, and let out a sigh as I watch him unwrap the sandwich.

"You've got this. We will take as long as you need."

if you struggle with an ed i just want you to know that it's okay. It's okay to have bad days, it's okay to eat, your body needs it, your mind needs it. Take your time, reach out to people who cares about you. You are not alone, you'll get thru this<3

[estrellami-1]

Writer prompt: “When will I get people who care the way I care?” Steve + the party hurt/comfort

Lmaooooo not you turning my own words on me (thank you I probably needed to write this ngl)

Steve made a point to remember the kids’ birthdays. To know their favorite foods, their allergies, to have their favorite tapes in his car.

And it’s not like it’s serious. Steve wouldn’t die from it. Probably.

It’s just… well. He told them he was allergic to shellfish. He remembered the day, especially, because they’d all had a long discussion about what was actually classified as shellfish.

But now someone decided to bring a clambake up to Bumfuck, Indiana, right where Steve lived, and all the kids are so excited about it, and he’s excited for them, honest.

But they don’t understand when he declines the offer to go, their request to drive them. Slowly but surely, he realizes they forgot.

Maybe he should’ve expected that. Maybe he should’ve known the expectations are different on the babysitter versus the babysat. Maybe-

“Alright,” Eddie says suddenly, one loud clap getting everyone’s attention. “Everyone out! Something’s come up. Great to see you, same time next week, untold horrors, et cerera. Get the fuck outta here.”

Eddie turns to Steve once everyone’s gone. “What’s wrong?”

Steve blinks. “What?”

“You’re making a face like something’s wrong.”

“Oh.” Steve debates not telling him, except that’s never done him any favors before, and he doubts it’ll start now. “Um. Just. Y’know the clambake?”

Eddie chuckles. “It’s practically all the kids talk about.”

“Yeah. Um. They didn’t understand why I didn’t want to go. Or why I didn’t want to take them.”

“Okay,” Eddie says slowly. “I’m all for telling the little shits no once in a while, don’t get me wrong. But… why did you tell them no?”

“I’m allergic to shellfish.”

Eddie’s mouth opens in an o. “Do they know?”

“Yeah. Or they did, I dunno. I guess they forgot. And I just… I dunno. Got in my head about it, I guess, because I remember things that are important to them, y’know? I have their tapes in my car, I know their favorite foods, I know what they’re allergic to. I know what to do to help all of them through a nightmare or a panic attack. And I spend so much of my time giving, and being what they need me to be, and… I guess it gets tiring, sometimes.” He shrugs, looks down. “I’m just wondering when I’m gonna get people who care the way I care. Who remember the little things, maybe not even cause they’re important, but because they’re part of me, y’know?”

Eddie smiles sadly, sits next to him. Turns his body to face Steve’s. “You mean like the face you make when you’re cooking and your sauce needs more salt? Or the way you dance a little, wiggle your hips, when you’ve got music playing and you’re doing the dishes? Or the way you clench your fists when you think no one’s looking, when you’re trying not to fidget or reach out and touch?” He touches one of Steve’s hands, clenched in his lap. “You can.”

Steve sighs, releases his hands. Turns one over and capture’s Eddie’s. “And the important thing,” Eddie continues. “The way you keep the pool lights turned off when the kids aren’t over. The way you hate to cook for just yourself. You ever wonder why I invite myself over so much? ‘S because I know you wouldn’t eat otherwise. The kids are assholes, I’ll give you that. They’re also kids. Let them grow up some, keep showing them the love that you are, and trust that one day they’ll show it back. Until then, can I be enough for you?”

“Eddie,” Steve whispers, chokes. “You’re always enough. More than.”

Eddie moves in closer. “Let yourself take,” he whispers back, slotting an arm over Steve’s shoulders and pulling him in. “Trust that I’m giving. That I want you to have it.”

Steve leans in. Doesn’t say thank you. Doesn’t kiss him. He doesn’t have to. He’s taking, accepting. And that says everything.

[laundrybiscuits]

Hawkins all lit up for Christmas is like something out of a postcard. It’s been a warm winter, which means big fat snowflakes piling up in fluffy drifts all over town, and string lights have been going up along every street and building to make the whole town look like a gingerbread fantasy.

Steve remembers it feeling a lot more magical when he was a kid, back when he didn’t have to shovel his car out of the drive or worry about winter tires. They don’t salt the back ways early enough in Hawkins, so on days like this, it always takes him longer to drive to work, going slow and cautious down the main roads, trapped in the Hawkins version of a traffic jam as everyone else does the exact same thing as him.

When he finally gets to the print shop, Donna McCorkle’s waving enthusiastically at him from the parking lot.

“Steven, honey! I’m so glad to see you out and about. I heard—” she leans in and whispers in a way that might actually be more conspicuous than yelling at the top of her lungs. “I heard about you and Laura. Sweetie, I’m so sorry, we all really thought you two would be taking a little stroll down the aisle by spring.”

“Thanks, Mrs. McCorkle,” Steve says. “I’m okay, honest. Just wasn’t meant to be, I guess.”

Jerry nods in greeting as Steve gets in and hangs up his winter coat. “Heya, Harrington. You’re six minutes late.”

“Sorry, boss,” grunts Steve, scraping off his boots.

“S’fine. Considering the circumstances and all. Just don’t get too hung up on her, eh, son? Can’t let some woman get you down. That’s no way for a man to live.”

“Right,” Steve says. “I’m okay, honest. Wasn’t meant to be.”

He shoves his lunch in the minifridge and heads out to his desk to check his messages.

———

He gets beers with Hopper after work. As soon as he slides into the booth, Hop raises a knowing eyebrow and snorts. “Folks around town been up your ass about the thing with Laura today?”

Steve groans. “Don’t even know how it got around so fast. We broke it off just yesterday, and I sure as hell didn’t tell anyone.”

Hopper nudges a bowl of peanuts his way. “Ah, you know how Hawkins is. People just want to see you doing well, kid.”

“People just need to mind their own damn business.”

Hopper’s face creases into a wry smile. The lines around his eyes seem to be getting deeper by the week. “They go a little overboard, sure. But come on, it’s nice knowing people care, ain’t it?”

“Sure.” Steve takes a long gulp of beer. “Nice.”

———

“I’m just—tired, Robbie,” he sighs into the phone. “Feels like I can’t walk down the street without running into someone trying to talk to me about the breakup.”

“It’s been coming for a while though, right? I mean, you’ve been talking about how you weren’t sure about her for a while. Like, actually way too long. Like this definitely should’ve happened six months ago.”

“I know, I know. But we were together for over a year, and it was…I dunno, nice. Easy. Felt like the thing to do. People are gonna start back up asking why I’m not married yet, ‘cause everyone else around here seems to be.”

Robin’s laugh crackles down the line, tinny and familiar. He presses the receiver tight against his face like it’ll bring Robin closer.

“Miss the hell out of you, Buckley. Can’t wait until you get back for Christmas.”

“Actually…” Even through the shitty line, he can tell Robin sounds a little nervous. “I was thinking. Well, me and Eddie were thinking. My folks aren’t going to be in Hawkins this year, they’re visiting my aunts in Vermont, and…we’ve got some friends here who are planning to just stay in the city for the holidays. So. What would you think, hypothetically, about coming here instead of me going there? It could be fun! You’ve only visited like twice, and you haven’t visited at all since I moved in with Eddie. You should come see our place, it’s pretty great.”

It’s true, he hasn’t made the trip out for a while. Robin and Eddie had been talking about moving in together for years, and last spring they’d finally found a place they liked. Steve had offered to drive up and help them move in, but their move-in date was Laura’s cousin’s wedding weekend, so that hadn’t worked out. And then it had just been easy to let his summer and fall get away from him, and just see Robin when she came back to Hawkins, because Eddie never comes back to Hawkins at all if he can help it.

Steve’s not avoiding Eddie. Of course he's not. There’s no reason for him to avoid Eddie, because the thing about Eddie is that there’s not a thing. There’s never been a thing.

But the lack-of-thing, the space where a thing could maybe have been, is something that’s followed Steve around for the last six years or so whether he likes it or not.

It’s not like he thinks about it every day, or anything like that. It’s just that—there was a moment, maybe, back in ‘87. He’d been smoking with Eddie outside in the miserable freeze of February. The grimy slush around them had been half-liquid in a way that was going to be trouble in the morning, after it'd had a chance to freeze over.

“If I asked,” Eddie had said, eyes fixed on the distant gray skies. “Would you come with me?”

Steve hadn’t had an answer, then. He’d thought he’d known, by that point, all the different ways he could be afraid, so it took him a second to recognize the feeling clawing its way up his ribcage and quickening his pulse. His tongue had felt thick and useless in his mouth.

Eddie’d just nodded once in a matter-of-fact way, and crushed his cigarette butt beneath the scuffed toe of his boot. “Don’t worry your pretty head about it, Harrington. I won’t ask.”

And then a week later he’d been gone. So it’s not like there was anything at all, not ever.

“Steve?” Robin’s voice is still kind of nervous. “What do you think? We’d both really love to see you.”

“Okay,” says Steve. “Sure. I’ll visit you guys for Christmas. Why the hell not?”

(continued here)

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Me & You & Everyone We Know | Chapter 7 | S.R

Not my gif

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A/N - sorry it has been so long since I updated this, I have not have the impetus to write this fic but I am trying to restart it. Massive thank you to @reidselle for encouraging me to start writing this again and for reading chapters and discussing ideas with me, you are an angel 🖤

Chapter Summary - Spencer’s still reeling from the aftermath of his drunken mistake. With Luke’s words playing on his mind, he starts to realise his feelings towards his broken marriage aren’t as black and white as he thought.

Pairing - Single Dad! Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - hurt/comfort, angst with happy ending, smut minors DNI.

Warnings - mentions of affairs, Spencer questions everything, swearing.

WC - 5.1k

Chapter 7 - All At Once

And all at once the crowd begins to sing,

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her,

Maybe you started to compare to someone not there. 

The weekend's events had taken so much out of Spencer he didn’t have a chance to call you and apologise for his drunken behaviour. 

In fact, if he was perfectly honest, with everything else going on he’d completely pushed it to the back of his mind. 

On Sunday he spent the day at the mall with the girls in an attempt to cheer Daisy up. 

Spencer loathed shopping. He only went shopping when he absolutely had to. Malls were too busy for his liking and most things were overpriced. But Daisy and Lily loved to shop, mostly because it wasn’t their hard earned money they were spending. 

He spent the day traipsing after them, lugging bags full of their hauls around while they ran from shop to shop excitedly. 

He practically brought Daisy a whole new wardrobe while Lily damn near put the toy store out of business. 

They ate pretzels in the food court while Spencer rested his aching arms from being their designated bag carrier. 

Lily fell asleep on the car ride home surrounded by all her new toys while Daisy excitedly looked over her new clothes. 

He spent hundreds of dollars trying to make up for the way Maeve had hurt her. He even let the girls talk him into buying an even bigger, plusher and more expensive bed for a dog he hated who never slept in his own bed anyway. 

By the time they made it home he was exhausted. He was too tired to cook so he ordered pizza which they ate in the living room while they rewatched Encanto for what had to be the fiftieth time. 

When he put them to bed they were both singing We Don’t Talk About Bruno, which Spencer also had stuck in his head when he crawled into his own bed. 

He also found himself humming it absent-mindedly in the shower the next morning, mentally cursing his girls for making him sit through that movie again. 

It was still whirring its way around his brain while he made the girls breakfast. 

He drove them to school after breakfast and dropped Taco off at the kennel and it was only after he was finally alone, his thoughts fell back to his monumentally stupid drunken mistake. 

Checking his watch and seeing he had time before he had to be on campus he made a pit stop at the florists. 

It was a good job he had time to spare because he spent an unfathomable amount of time staring at a wide variety of flowers in various colours.

He must have looked utterly lost as a young girl soon came over and asked if he needed help. 

Yes, he most certainly did. 

“I uh…I need something that says I’m sorry.” He toyed awkwardly with the strap of his satchel. 

The girl gave him a slightly playful smile. 

“You wouldn’t believe how often we get people in here looking for the exact same thing.” 

“What would you recommend?” 

“Well, lilies are great for apologising as they can express a new chapter. But roses are really romantic. White orchids are also good as they represent sincerity. And blue hyacinths look stunning in an apology bouquet.” She motioned around the various flowers she was describing while Spencer stared wide eyed in confusion. 

“Uh…” he scratched the back of his neck. “All of them. Just put all of them in a bouquet. A huge one. It doesn’t matter what it costs.” 

“Sure.” She looked a little startled by his choice, most guys just went for whatever was cheapest. 

She admired his decision. 

Spencer tapped his foot in the ground while the girl went about fashioning a giant bouquet of whites and blues and reds and yellows. 

She tied them all off in a big red ribbon and looked proud by her creation. 

Admittedly it did look beautiful and Spencer knew next to nothing about flower arranging. 

He paid two hundred dollars for the privilege and thanked the young girl before hurrying out of the store barely able to see over the large array. 

He quickly stopped at a coffee house and ordered an extra large cinnamon latte which was your favourite. 

The flowers took up the whole front seat of the car and the smell was overwhelming so he had to drive with the windows open. 

He felt heads turning and eyebrows furrowed into frowns as he got out of his car with the huge bouquet. It was like a large flashing beacon that he’d fucked up. 

He tried to ignore all the eyes on him as he waited for you outside the psychology building, flowers in one hand, coffee in the other. 

The weather was desperately trying to warm up and was slowly succeeding and the morning sun beating down on him made sweat gather at his temples. 

The nerves didn’t help. 

You couldn’t have looked any less amused when you spotted him, only just able to see him over the almost comically large bunch of flowers. 

If he wasn’t standing right outside the building you needed access to, you would have walked any other direction to avoid him. 

You clenched your jaw tightly and hugged your purse close to your body as you approached him. 

“I’m sorry.” He spoke the second you were in earshot. “I am so, so sorry. I was drunk, not that that’s an excuse but I was. I had a bad day and I was a fucking idiot. I am so, so sorry Y/N.” 

You didn’t say anything. Not a word. Honestly you didn’t have anything to say that wouldn’t either be fuck you or go to hell. 

He proffered the flowers towards you. 

“I’m really, really sorry.” He pouted a little.

He did look apologetic, almost pathetically so and there was a part of you that felt sorry for him. 

Not a big enough part to forgive him though. 

You took the flowers from his hand and Spencer momentarily believed things were going to be ok. 

But then you dropped the bouquet on the floor and stamped heavily on them with your heeled boot.

You didn’t stop there. 

You took the coffee out of his hand, removed the lid and poured the scalding liquid all over the crushed pile of flowers.

Spencer’s face fell.

“Oh come on, that was two hundred dollars worth of flowers.” He groaned, shoulders slumping. 

“You think coffee and flowers are going to make up for what you did?” You spat at him. 

“Not entirely. But I thought it might be a start.” He shrugged meekly, toying with his satchel. 

“Well it isn’t.” You stomped on the flowers again. “You were a world class asshole, Spencer. You do not get to show up at my apartment drunk in the middle of night and try to force me into bed! And the things you said to me…I am not a fling. I am not looking to be a casual hook up and if that’s all you want then you should find someone else.” 

“Y/N, I didn’t mean for you to-“

“Go to hell, Doctor Reid.” You cut him off, stamping on the flowers one more time for good measure. “Respectfully, go to hell.” 

He watched you storm past him inside the building, knowing nothing he could say was going to make this better. 

He’d really fucked this one up. And he had no idea how to fix it.

***

He left a cinnamon latte for you every single day for the next week in Monroe’s classroom. 

He left post it notes on your car that told you how sorry he was. 

He tried at every available opportunity to tell you to your face how sorry he was but every time you caught a glimpse of him, you would turn and walk in the opposite direction. 

He didn’t blame you. But he wished you would give him a chance to explain. 

Not that there was much to explain. He was drunk and he’d been forceful. He’d said horrible things to you. 

An explanation wasn’t really warranted. 

But that didn’t mean he was going to give up. He wasn’t giving you up without a fight. 

It didn’t matter that the two of you had only been on one date, you were all he could think about. You’d left a lasting impression in his heart and he wasn’t letting you just walk away. 

But he knew he couldn’t keep pushing you. You had to want to talk to him. If he kept trying to force you forgive him, he would end up pushing you away. 

He had to give it time and hope that you would come to forgive him on your own. 

In lieu of making things up with you, he had made up with Luke, even if slightly begrudgingly. 

They’d talked on the phone for the best part of a whole evening after the girls were asleep. Luke apologised for the way things had come out. He hadn’t meant them quite as they sounded 

Spencer in turn apologised for reacting the way he had, even though he still felt he was completely justified. 

Luke surprised him somewhat when he asked him, “did you ever really deal with Maeve’s affair?” 

“What do you mean?” Spencer frowned, putting his feet up on his desk and leaning back in his chair. 

“When you talk about it, you always talk about the effect it had on your kids but never how it affected you.” Luke was in full on profiler mode. Spencer had heard that voice countless times. 

“The fact that it affected my kids, affected me.” Spencer’s frown deepened. 

“I know you say it was a marriage of convenience but you were together a long time, Reid. You must have had some kind of feelings for her. It must have hurt.” Luke’s tone was soft yet held a hind of accusation. 

“Not especially.” Spencer shrugged. 

“Spencer,” Luke’s timbre shifted. “The woman you spent a large portion of your life with cheated on you. Your house is still like a goddamn shrine to the life you used to have. And you’ve never gotten over your anger towards her. I think that’s because she hurt you more than you want to admit. You like to pretend you didn’t love her and that you’re unaffected by what happened because you think it’s easier to deal with if you pretend it doesn’t hurt. But sometimes, pain needs to be felt.” 

“Have you ever thought about being a therapist?” Spencer rolled his eyes and sat up in the chair. “I’m fine Luke. I’m angry because she tore my family apart. I’m angry because my kids now only get to see their mother twice a month. I’m angry because I had to reevaluate my whole life after she left. 

But I’m not hurt, I’m not heartbroken. And my house is not a shrine. I work and when I’m not working I’m taking care of my daughters and now some stupid dog too. I’ve been meaning to call Morgan to help me renovate it. I just haven’t had time.” 

“If you insist.” Luke sighed. “I won’t keep pushing it. But just know I’m here if you ever need to talk.” 

“I know. Thanks. But I really am fine.” Spencer stood up and stretched his back. “I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?”

“Yeah no worries. Talk soon.” Luke replied and then hung up. 

Spencer kept his phone in his hand and typed out a quick text to you, almost identical to the ones he’d sent you every night this week. 

📲 Y/N Y/L/N: I’m still so sorry. I miss you. Please talk to me. Goodnight, beautiful. 

He checked in on the girls who were both sleeping soundly before having a quick shower and crawling into his own bed. 

And once again, he dreamt of you. 

***

It was probably for the best that you weren’t talking to him and that he hadn’t made plans with you for his child free weekend because he didn’t get a child free weekend. 

He picked Lily and Daisy up from school on Friday and drove them to Maeve’s only for Daisy to refuse to get out of the car. 

“Pumpkin, it’s your weekend with your mom, you have to go.” Spencer turned in his seat to face her. 

“No.” She spoke stubbornly. “I don’t want to see her.”

“You can’t stay mad at her forever.” Spencer leaned over the centre console and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“Yes I can.” She huffed. 

“Why don’t you want to see mommy?” Lily spoke up from the backseat. 

“Because I hate her.” Daisy stomped her foot on the floor. 

“Daisy, please don’t say that in front of your sister.” 

“Why? It’s true.” 

Spencer sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. 

“What about if Taco comes to mommy’s with you?” It would be doing him a favour too. 

“Yes! Let’s go get Taco!” Lily beamed. 

“No!” Daisy raised her voice. “I’m not going in there and you can’t make me!” 

She was right, he couldn’t. 

So in the end Lily had stayed at Maeve’s and Daisy had come home with Spencer. 

It was strange just having one of the girls, it wasn’t often the two were apart. It was almost like the days before Lily was born. 

He cooked dinner for the two of them and they ate ice cream for dessert. 

Daisy sat in Spencer’s office with him, laying on the floor with Taco while he graded papers. 

Usually Spencer liked to work alone, the kids rarely came in his office. But he found the sounds of Daisy cooing over the dog relaxing and every now and again when he heard her giggle over the mutt it made his heart swell in his chest. 

“Are you having fun there, pumpkin?” He asked her with an amused smile as he scrawled some notes on one of his students papers.

“Yeah, Taco is the best.” She giggled, giving Taco a belly scratch which he adored. “And it’s nice and quiet, like before Lily was born.” 

Spencer’s pen dropped from his hand as he looked at the back of his daughter's head where she laid on her front on the floor, her thick dark hair tied up on the back of her head. 

“What?” He frowned a little, thinking he must have misunderstood her. 

She rolled over onto her back and propped herself up on her one good arm. 

“I miss it sometimes. Before Lily was born and it was just you, me and mom. Did mom have an affair because of Lily?” She asked curiously. 

Spencer tried to hide his shock, knowing his daughter could read his features. 

He pushed himself up from his chair and rounded the desk, coming over to where Daisy and Taco laid. 

He lowered himself carefully to the floor, grimacing a little as an ache spread through the old injury in his leg. 

He sat next to her, stretching his legs out across the dark carpet. 

“What your mom did was neither of your faults. You know that, don’t you?” 

Daisy shrugged. 

“Why did you have Lily? I miss being an only child.” She changed the subject. 

“She’s your sister, don’t say that, please.” 

“We were happy before Lily.” Daisy shrugged again, crossing her legs and pulling Taco into her lap. 

“And we were happy after Lily too.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and she instinctively leaned into her fathers body. 

“Do you think mom would have cheated on you if you didn’t have Lily?” 

“I don’t know, pumpkin.” He sighed, pulling her closer. “But Lily isn’t the reason she cheated. And neither are you. I guess…I guess I just couldn’t make her happy.” 

“It’s not that I don’t love Lily.” Daisy tugged at Taco’s ear. “I just miss having all of your love.” 

Spencer felt his heart tear in half. He moved his hand from around her shoulder and cupped her jaw gently, guiding her to look at him. 

“Daisy,” he spoke seriously. “Just because I love your sister, it didn’t for a second make me love you any less, ok? You’re my baby girl, the first time I held you in my arms I felt like I could breathe properly for the first time in my life. The first time you looked at me, I finally knew the reason I was put on this Earth. And that was to love you and be your father. Please never think I could love you any less. You are my whole world ok, pumpkin?”

He felt choked up by the end of his speech and he noticed Daisy had tears in her eyes. 

She was quick to sit back and wipe her eyes on her sleeve. 

“God, mushy much dad?” She scoffed and Spencer chucked. 

He leaned in and placed another kiss at her temple. 

“Love you too, pumpkin.” He laughed against her skin. 

***

Spencer found Luke’s words were taking up too much space in his brain. 

When he awoke Saturday morning he laid in bed for a while, staring at the ceiling and just enjoying a moment of peace before Daisy woke up. 

Although it wasn’t all that peaceful.

He was ruminating on Luke’s implications of him living in a shrine. 

It wasn’t as though Spencer meant to do that. He really hadn’t had the time to even think about redecorating. 

Ok, maybe that wasn’t true. He had thought about it, quite often in fact. But there was always some kind of blocker between the thought and the action. For whatever reason, he’d never gotten over that hurdle of actually making a change. 

But it wasn’t because he was clinging to his old life. He didn’t pine over his broken marriage, he didn’t wish for Maeve to see sense and come home. 

But maybe there was a small chance that the reason he’d held off for so long was partly due to the fact that once he changed the house, there was no going back. 

If he decorated it was effectively shattering his dreams of the future he’d planned even though, really, those dreams had been destroyed over a year ago. 

Had he really been grasping at his old life so hard and not even realised? 

Something had to change. 

After breakfast he and Daisy went to the hardware store and he let her pick out a new paint for the living room. 

It wasn’t much but it was a start. It was something to prove he wasn’t living in a shrine to his ex-wife. 

Initially she’d chosen a gawdy bright green shade but thankfully Spencer had talked her down to a much more eye pleasing sage.  

The two of them spent the day painting the room, well Spencer did most of it while Daisy kept getting distracted by Taco. And Daisy did only have one good arm, which she kept reminding him. 

But by the time he was finished he felt accomplished. The new colour was much more his style than the buttermilk yellow Maeve had painted the walls when they moved in. 

The only room he’d really aided in decorating was his office with its dark walls, leather desk chair and dark oak desk and bookshelves. 

He’d still be working at the BAU when they moved in and as such wasn’t around much to help make decorating decisions. 

He’d never disliked the way she’d designed the house but maybe it never quite felt like home as it should have. 

The sage green walls felt more cosy. It was reminiscent of his old apartment, the apartment he’d loved so much. He felt comfortable with a darker aesthetic, which was probably strange but to Spencer it felt more homely. 

Spencer always felt more at ease in darkness, he decided not to dwell too long on that thought and what that meant about his mental state. 

He should call Morgan and have him gut this place and start again from scratch. But he wasn’t quite ready to take that step. And not because he was pining over his old life. 

He didn’t know why. But not everything needed to have a reason. 

Once the painting was done and feeling much more satisfied with his living situation, he cooked dinner for the two of them and after he let Daisy choose a movie which he fell asleep halfway through. 

The closing credits woke him and he rubbed his eyes before focusing on Daisy who had her smartphone pointing at him. 

“What are you doing?” He grumbled, feeling the weight of the dog was laying on his chest. 

“Taking pictures.” She giggled. 

“Why?” He shuffled up the couch a little. 

“You look funny.” She snapped one more picture before her dad got mad. 

“How do I look funny?” He scooted the dog off of him and sat up properly, rubbing his eyes again. 

“See for yourself.” She handed him her phone and he stared at the photograph of his sleeping form, mangy dog sleeping soundly on him. 

But that’s not what he was looking at. 

“For the love of god!” He groaned, jumping up and dashing to the mirror by the door. 

“The paint must still have been wet.” Daisy giggled again. 

Spencer had two very distinctive sage coloured doggy paw prints on his face and many more covering his shirt. 

He glanced around and saw a spot on the wall near the TV where the idiotic mutt had put his front paws in the wet paint. 

There was a trail of the sage prints in the carpet from the wall to the couch. 

“This is why I didn’t want a freaking dog.” Spencer huffed as he made his way to the kitchen to clean his face. “What time is it?” 

“Uh…eight?” Daisy sounded unsure of herself. 

“Which means it’s actually later than that and you don’t want to tell me because you don’t want to go to bed.” He chuckled, wiping his face with some kitchen paper. 

“No.” Daisy whined. “Not true.” 

“You know I’m wearing a watch, right?” As he said this he glanced at it and saw it was a little after ten. “Bedtime missy.” 

“Boo!” Daisy sulked. 

He finished up cleaning his face, thankful the paint seemed to come off easily and came back through to the living room where his stubborn daughter sat vigil on the couch. 

“Come on, pumpkin. I can read to you if you like? We haven’t done that in a while.” 

She pulled a face like she was contemplating this for a moment or two. 

“Can Taco come to bed with me?” 

“Sure, why not. It’s not like I’ve brought him two dog beds or anything.” He sighed. 

Daisy happily picked up the little dog and carried him upstairs where she set him on her bed. 

Spencer sat with him while she went through to the bathroom to change and brush her teeth. 

He tucked her in and Taco curled up by her side. 

Spencer slotted himself on the small part of the empty mattress that was left and Daisy handed him a book. 

He read to her until she was sound asleep, snoring a little. She got that from her mother. 

He kissed her forehead and switched off the light before creeping from the room. 

He thought about having a drink but he was still ashamed of his actions the last time he drank so he decided against it. 

He pulled out his phone as he flopped to the couch and sent you a text. 

📲 Y/N Y/L/N: I really am so sorry. Please can we talk? I miss your voice. Goodnight, beautiful. 

Spencer stared at the freshly painted wall and the paw prints left in it, still having Luke’s words swirling around his brain. 

He didn’t love Maeve. He wasn’t heartbroken over her infidelity. He didn’t need to deal with what she’d done because he hadn’t affected him. Had it? 

Somehow he found himself on his feet and moving books aside on the bookshelf that shielded his gun safe. 

He hadn’t actually kept a gun in it for years, not since he left the bureau. But old habits die hard. 

He entered the combination and opened the thick metal door. His hand shook a little as he pulled out the photo album kept hidden inside. 

It was white once but was dirtied from fingerprints over the years. It was a little scuffed around the edges but that was probably from him stuffing it inside the safe that was just a little too small for it. 

Spencer didn’t know why he kept in there. He supposed it was because he didn’t want the kids stumbling across it and having to look at it before he was ready, before he had the capacity to take this particular trip down memory lane. 

He hadn’t even thought about the album in the year since he’d put it in there. He’d physically locked it away whilst mentally locking away the memories that went with the photographs. 

He took it back over to the couch and tentatively flipped to the first page. 

The first photograph depicted an unusually sunny fall day outside of DC city hall. Spencer wore a suit from his closet and Maeve wore a simple white summer dress, her pregnant belly very noticeable with the slim fitting nature of the dress. 

They both smiled brightly while Morgan snapped the photograph of them showing off their matching gold wedding bands, Spencer’s free hand cupping her stomach that housed baby Daisy. 

He saw no doubts in his eyes, no hint that he was only marrying this woman because he’d gotten her pregnant. He looked genuinely elated to be married. He didn’t remember ever feeling that happy. 

On the next page was a series of photos with the backdrop of a hospital room. 

Images of Spencer fussing over Maeve while she was in labour, a slightly fretful look on his features. 

There was a photo of Maeve with the newborn on her chest, seconds after she was born and Daisy was held by her mother for the first time. 

Another of Spencer in the worn leather chair next to the bed with the tiny seven pound baby cradled in his arms as tears streamed down his cheeks. 

There were a couple more of the three of them together in the hospital room and as they left the hospital the following day, Spencer and Maeve held hands while his free one carried Daisy in her rocker. 

The look on Spencer’s face in each one could only be described as pure bliss. 

There were pictures of Daisy with each member of her new family, with her Aunties Emily, JJ and Penelope and her Uncles Derek and Aaron and grandpa Dave. 

There were photographs from a few weeks later when they’d travelled to Vegas so Diana could meet her granddaughter. 

Diana’s smile when she held Daisy for the first time was the brightest he’d ever seen on his mother. She’d been lucid that day, thank god, and had cried and cooed over the gorgeous little bundle her son had created. 

Other photographs of Daisy’s first steps, her first time on the potty, her first Christmas and birthdays littered the pages. 

Birthday cakes and presents wrapped for a child too young to understand what they were. 

Gaudy Christmas jumpers set against the backdrop of an overly decorated tree. Paper hats from crackers adorned on heads. A small child overstimulated by a holiday she couldn’t comprehend. 

And in every single one he and Maeve looked so happy. The images showed them sharing loving looks, exchanging soft touches. 

If the photos didn’t exist, Spencer wouldn’t have believed it. His memories didn’t allow him to recall the joyful moments, only the hurt and the anger. 

Even as he looked at them he struggled to remember ever feeling the way the man in the photographs looked. 

The further into the album he got showed Maeve’s belly growing for the second time and more hospital photographs with Lily featuring Aunty Tara, and Uncles Luke and Matt. 

More holiday photos lined the pages, this time with Daisy helping her sister open her presents. 

Lots of photos of the two girls together riddled the pages. Daisy holding Lily’s hand while she learnt to walk, Daisy reading to her little sister. Daisy cuddling her new little sister and beaming proudly. 

They looked like the perfect family, smiling for the camera. But what was hiding beneath? Were they ever really happy at all? 

About a year after Lily’s birth, the photographs just stopped. The empty pages at the end of the album taunted Spencer. 

They just stopped. Ended with no warning. It was as though all the happy, smiling faces of the pages before had died. 

Maybe they had. 

Tensions had been high between him and Maeve after Spencer gave up the BAU. He resented Maeve and to a certain extent his beautiful daughter, for having to give up a job he adored. 

He was frustrated and exhausted all the time. He was making less money at Georgetown, which didn’t matter so much in the present as he had a substantial amount of savings, but not enough to send two kids to college. His future problems crossed over into his present day. 

It took its toll on Spencer. He went to work, came home and doted on his daughters and barely said two words to Maeve. 

He had a quick temper. His exhaustion manifested in anger and when he did talk to Maeve it was usually to argue with her about something. 

He’d been distant, far away even when he was at home, and she’d been lonely. So she met Bobby who made her feel wanted. 

Could he blame her for that? Was Luke right? He hadn’t been attentive to his wife and so she’d sought comfort elsewhere. Was it his fault she’d strayed? Had he pushed her to it? 

He flipped the album back to the first page to their wedding photo. Was he to blame in all of this? 

He was so wrapped up in his self pity, the knock at the door startled him. 

He frowned to himself as he pushed himself to his feet and padded over to the door. 

Who was knocking at his house so late at night? 

He unlocked the door and cautiously it opened a fraction so he could see who was on the other side before he committed to opening it. 

His frown only deepened when he looked into a familiar pair of eyes staring back at him from the dark. 

He opened the door fully and braced himself against the door jamb. 

“Y/N,” he swallowed. “What are you doing here?” 

@andiebeaword @muffin-cup @takeyourleap-of-faith @ssa-uglywhore27 @foxy-eva @kbakery @chrissyflo3 @simxican @aysixdy @givemeth @its-yagirl-raelynn

[eddiesgorlie]

Baby Talk

Dad!Austin x Mom!reader

Summary: Austin takes care of reader after she has their baby

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff.

Word count: 1,424

Baby screams interrupted my deep sleep, I started sitting up when I felt two hands lightly pushing me back into the hospital bed and pulling the scratchy blanket over me. “Shh… shh.. I’ve got her.” He said kissing my forehead. “She’s hungry.” I said sleepily. “Then I’ll bring her to you.” He said walking over to the hospital room bassinet. I watched as he lifted her and started rocking back and forth, he smelled her diaper and gave her a kiss on the head. “Well you aren’t stinky so mama must be right.” He held her as I lowered the hospital gown so she could breastfeed. “Come here Presley.” I said as he laid her on my chest. I got her comfortable and she started suckling. “You look so beautiful.” He said. “No, I look like I haven’t slept in three days.” I snapped. I quickly realized how mean that sounded. “I’m so sorry, I’m so tired and I know you are too.” I said as tears started filling my eyes. “Please don’t cry baby, I know you’re tired. But look at how beautiful our little creation is.” He said, stroking her hand with his finger. “She’s so beautiful, she looks like you.” I said looking down at her. “She has your nose and hair.” He said kissing her button nose and jet black hair. He was so in love with her I couldn’t help but start sobbing, I’m so tired of these damn hormones. “Hey, don’t cry.” He said kissing me. “I’m just so happy.” I said.

She stopped suckling and Austin picked her up, he started patting her back to try to get her to burp. “Good job.” He said as she let out a big burp. “Well thats another thing she got from her daddy.” I say giggling. “How rude.” He said smiling as he turns to look at me. He laid her down in the bassinet, kissed her head and walked back to lay on the cot. “Baby you look so uncomfortable.” I said looking at him, his feet hanging over the end of the cot. “Its just perfect, I’m here with my two favorite girls.” He said smiling. “Come ‘ere.” I said patting the bed. He got up and laid in the hospital bed next to me. “You were right, this is a lot more comfortable.” He said kissing my head. I snuggled into him and fell asleep.

“Ok, great. I’ll tell her when she wakes up.” Austin whispered. I started waking up when I heard two people in the room talking. I slowly opened my eyes. “Oh good morning Mrs. Butler.” My nurse said. “Good morning Tammy.” I said smiling. “I hope you three slept well, its going to be a busy day since you three get to go home.” She said smiling. I loved the sound of that, the three of us. “I’m so excited.” I said kissing Austin. “Me too.” He said. As soon as the nurse checked mine and Presley’s vitals and cleared us to go, Austin helped me change into a comfortable t-shirt dress and started packing all of our things up and putting it in the car. “Ok this is the last load of things, I’ll take it to the car and call you when I’m up front.” He said smiling. “Ok.” I said grabbing my phone. Tammy helped me into a wheelchair and swaddled Presley in a blanket and as soon as Austin called she wheeled me into the elevator and to the car. “Thank you so much Tammy.” I said after she helped me into the car as Austin was buckling Presley into her car seat.

I buckled my seat belt as Austin started the car. “Are my girls ok back there?” He asked looking in the rear view mirror. “We are doing great.” I said playing with her small hands. He pulled out of the hospital parking lot and got on the highway to drive home. When he parked the car in the driveway, he got out of the car and opened the backseat door. He helped me out first and then got the carseat out. “I’ll carry her.” I said reaching for the carseat. “Are you sure? The carseat is heavy.” He said. “I’m sure.” I say smiling. He handed me the car seat and unlocked the front door for me. I was immediately greeted by our dog, Milo and cat, Eloise. “Hi honeys, you gotta let mama through and then I’ll give you all of the loves.” I said baby talking to them. I walked to the nursery and shut the door behind me so I could get Presley all situated. “This is your room baby.” I said walking her around the room. I lifted her out of the car seat and changed her diaper, I put her in a comfy onesie and laid her down in her crib.

Austin quietly walked in the room to check on me. “I just put her down for a nap.” I said walking out of the room. “Ok, I’ll keep an eye on her. You need to rest.” He said. “No, I have to get laundry done and start cooking dinner.” I said. “Ashley is bringing dinner and I will do the laundry.” He said. “But I want to spend time with you.” I say pouting my lip. “We can spend time together in an hour, you need to get some rest now.” He said. I kissed him and started walking to our bedroom.

After my nap I put my robe on and went into the kitchen. “Y/n!” Ashley said as she hugged me. “Hi Ashley!” I said. “How are you doing?” She asked. “I’m pretty sore but I feel good and of course my wonderful man is taking good care of me.” I said looking over at Austin, he was wearing an apron and warming the food that Ashley brought. “Can I see baby Presley?” She asked excitedly. “Of course.” I said as I walked toward the nursery. I opened the door and walked over to her crib. She had her eyes wide open. “Good morning baby girl.” I said picking her up. Ashley held her arms out and I laid her in her arms. “Oh isn’t she beautiful.” She said tearing up. “Doesn’t she look like Austin?” I asked. “She does but I see a lot of you too.” She said looking up at me. Presley went from a happy little baby to a screaming baby in a matter of seconds. “Oh its about that time she needs to eat.” I said laughing as Ashley put her back in my arms. “It was so nice to see you Y/n.” She said. “Come by again soon, it was so nice to see you.” I said smiling. “Of course.” She said before she walked out of the door.

I sat down in the rocking chair and opened my robe and pulled my pajama top down. Presley started suckling so I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes. “How are my favorite girls doing in here?” Austin asked, still wearing the apron. “We are both hungry.” I said laughing. “I can tell.” He said laughing. “You look cute.” I said. “Well thank you, the apron is from a very fancy designer called Target, my beautiful wife gifted it to me.” He said, pronouncing Target in a French accent. “Your wife has great taste! Come on, give us a spin.” I said cracking up. He did a spin and posed at the end. “God, I love you so much.” I said laughing. “I love you so much.” He said as he kissed me. “I can’t believe we’re parents.” I whispered. “Its hard to believe.” He said.

Once she finished eating, we put her in her baby swing while Austin and I sat down to eat. Ashley brought us chicken fettuccine Alfredo and a salad. “This is amazing.” I said. “It really is.” Austin said. “Babe, I’ve got the night shift tonight. You look exhausted.” I said as I held his hand. “I feel great, you need the rest honey. You pushed a baby out of you.” He said with a laugh. “I’ve been resting and I feel great. You can take tomorrow nights shift?” I asked. “Deal.” He said.

We got ready for bed and put Presley in her crib. “I love you.” I said laying my head on Austins chest. “I love you.” He said. Just as sleep reached me baby screams interrupted, I giggled and got out of bed.

[qwertycake]

cute squishy platonic otp prompts :) very fluffy and good smiley face

FOUND THESE ABANDONED IN MY NOTES FROM 2021! Some of these are very specific so feel free to alter them to suit your situation/tastes. Some of these are more targeted towards the mundane “imagine this” scenarios which aren’t great for writing an extended piece about but they can still get your creative juices flowing. These are all geared towards platonic and squishy, but I suppose they could be used in other contexts too. Enjoy!

“You’re very good at that instrument, Person A, but please put it away it’s two in the fucking morning” AU

“We went out to stargaze but you keep saying that every cluster of stars is Orion’s belt and I’m starting to think you’re trying to impress me with the astrology knowledge that you don’t have” AU

“You walked into our house/apartment/whatever sopping wet from the rain because you forgot your umbrella, here’s a towel and I’m making hot chocolate by the way let’s watch movies” AU

“That’s a cute bouquet and all but why are the neighbours’ gardens barren” AU

“We’re playing smash bros together on the couch and I’m teaching you to play and you kick my ass and the worst part is that I wasn’t letting you win” AU

“The party’s over and we now have a ton of helium filled balloons hey what if we drank the helium and prank called people come on you know you want to” AU

“We went to a rocky beach and now have a rucksack full of cool rocks that we’re never gonna use” AU

“Look I know it’s two in the morning— hey stop asking how I got in your room that’s not important— I need you to make a Hot Wheels track with me” AU

“We both keep dream journals and are sharing our weird dreams” AU

“We’re performers waiting outside the venue because we’re tired of the loud noise and need a breather, also hey is your group also going to the McDonalds afterwards? I’ll see you there” AU

“We’re camping and a random dog/cat just waltzed up to our tent and we don’t know where their owner is so we have to take care of it in a really small space oh my god” AU

“We’re both isakaied away into another world but you became a cool mage and I’m just Some Dude” AU

“We’ve been trying to get this goddamn plushy from a grabbing machine for literal hours to the point where we broke it and the poor worker, person C, just walked up and unlocked the chamber and gave us the plushy out of pity” AU

“We’re at a library and I’m intimidated because everyone looks super stoic and serious but then you waltz up to me with a kids encyclopaedia of dinosaurs and ask me which one’s my favourite” AU

“We’re having a snowball fight but we both can use insanely powerful magic and end up wrecking havoc on the whole area” AU

“Oh your winter clothes got wet, here have my hat and gloves I don’t feel cold— in fact you know what let me warm your hands for you, give em here” AU

“I’m driving us home from the airport/ferry port/whatever and its late and we end up falling asleep in the car park of a service station. You wake up before me and buy me service station food for a three in the morning breakfast and it’s really sweet until we realise that we still have an hour to go before we’re home ugh” AU

“Can you catch the bus with me I’ve never caught it before and I need to get used to it” AU

“We’re astronauts and we’re going into space together and it’s really scary but you’re pissing me off already and we’ve barely gotten ready for launch fuck” AU

“We both crash landed from a plane into a woodland and are staying in an abandoned shack and chatting over a can of warming beans” AU

“We’re in control of making the new universe and we can’t agree on anything stop putting cat ears on the humans and take this seriously goddammit” AU

“I work at a drycleaners and you’ve been bringing your bodypillow/ahaego hoodie/whatever here for the past three days and I just want to know why please you’re killing me” AU

“There’s only one bed but we actually get gradually more pissed off at one another as the night goes on because you kicked me and I took the blanket and whatever until I cave and sleep on the couch, but you make me breakfast in the morning so all is forgiven” AU

“You look depressed here have a bathbomb go have a bath I insist do you want wine” AU

“You’ve never made a pizza from scratch before? Here let me show you how” AU

“You’ve never played hop scotch before? Here let me show you in public” AU

“You’ve never built a death ray before? Here let me show you— hey hold on stop screaming it’s pointed away from you it’s pointed away” AU

“Mario Maker: Endless Easy” AU

“Whenever we go out to eat you always tell the staff that it’s my birthday when it isn’t and I always get happy birthday sung to me and I hate you now pass me that slice of cake goddammit” AU

[michellemisfit]

WEEKLY TAG WEDNESDAY - FIRSTS!

Tagged by @suzy-queued @deedala @darlingian @heymrspatel @lingy910y @energievie @mybrainismelted @blue-disco-lights

Name: Michelle

Age: Currently getting a kick out of telling people that I’m nearly 40 and having them go ‘NO WAY!!!’ - It’s funny and flattering :)

First Pet: Siberian gerbils called Tom & Jerry

First Word: No idea. Turns out my parents kept a baby book for my older brother where they painstakingly recorded all of that stuff. I found mine a few years ago and it’s got a grand total of 3 entries, one of which is talking about how chubby I am, and how I am yet to find a food I’ll say no to, and let’s hope that’s not a sign of things to come… after which it was abandoned. Thanks mum.

First Celebrity Crush: Leonardo DiCaprio

First IRL Crush: Dominik. We hung out basically every day after school. I would go round to his house and he would play me the latest Michael Jackson tape and show me new dance steps that he’d taught himself. I thought he was so cool.

First Kiss: Age 14 with my first boyfriend. He was 20 years old. We were in a relationship for over a year. Shit was fucked up. At the risk of repeating myself… Thanks mum.

First Car: Bebop 🚙 He’s my baby and I bought him this year and I love him! He’s a turquoise 2013 Toyota Yaris Hybrid.

First apartment/house/dorm/whatever away from your parents: Heh. I moved straight from my childhood bedroom to a different country. If you’re gonna do something, do it right! lol

First Time on a Plane: I was… 18 months old? Parents went on holidays to Florida. I have about 3 memories from that trip.

First Cellphone: Nokia 3210 😎

First Concert: David Hasselhoff. I was maybe… 6? And I got very tired and slept through the second half, but my parents woke me up for Looking for Freedom, which was my favourite song of his.

First Foreign country you visited? Italy or France most likely. Pure proximity, and most of our family vacations were done by car from Switzerland so…

First sport you ever played? Hmm. I did competitive swimming when I was very young. And then gymnastics. And after that… about five minutes of football (the only sport I to this day do not understand. How do I run AND kick a ball simultaneously?!?), then 3 years of tennis, 2 years of basketball, 8 years of roller hockey, and a whole smattering of other sports on and off.

First career aspiration? I mean… I basically wanted to be a Disney Princess, purely for the Animal Best Friend aspect! And then any form of Animal Whisperer would have done the trick. I watched all the TV shows and movies where characters had magical bonds with animals, and I wanted that. And then I realised that the characters in the shows and movies aren’t real, but the people training and handling those animals *are*. However that wasn’t something realistic to aspire to, being Swiss, so instead I became a bookseller (somehow that made sense at the time… 🤷🏽‍♂️). And then 15 years later, in a different country and a different life, I did end up training animals for TV and film. So that’s kinda nifty.

And finally… tell me about the first time you wrote/drew/created/whatever something that made you think “wow”

Hmmm. I dunno. I thought I was really fucking talented when I was about 12. I wrote a novel and sent it to publishing houses and literary agencies. One of them invited me for an interview, because they thought my writing was great and they wanted to meet the kid that had sent them a manuscript aged 12/13. They ended up giving me a job, working as a admin/secretary/slush pile reader. They also gave me lots of feedback and constructive criticism on my writing. I scrapped the novel I had sent them in favour of writing a different, better novel. I still think that novel was pretty fucking good. I tried to get my mum to proof read it and give me feedback so I could do any necessary corrections before I spent my pocket money on photocopies, C4 envelopes, and a whole bunch of stamps so I could attempt to get it published again. She was dragging her feet and I tried to explain the urgency, because I was clear that it needed to happen before I turned 14. That was the goal in my head. I had huge ambitions and dreams. I was also convinced that if it happened after I turned 14 it wouldn’t be special anymore. Like anyone could do it after 14… 🙄 In response to this my mum told me that she’d had ambition and dreams, too, when she was my age. But not to worry, that’ll go away, and once you’ve put away the fanciful notions of being talented then you can just get on with your life…

Not sure if this actually answers the question, but that was kinda the first and last time I remember feeling uncomplicatedly good about and proud of something I created. After this anything creative I did was always immediately followed by the doubt of ‘is this actually good, or is this just a fanciful notion I have about being talented, when in actual fact it sucks?’ 🤷🏽‍♂️

Wow. Ended that on a downer, didn’t I?

…

Erm… I wrote Tell me we’ll never get used to it,

They’re the only two people left that know what it’s like to have loved and to have lost a Lightwood.

And it’s a good story.

There.

I said it…

Tagging @crossmydna @palepinkgoat @too-schoolforcool @vintagelacerosette @heymacy @loftec @mikhailoisbaby @rereadanon @the-rat-wins @tsuga-of-mars @ian-galagher @andthatisnotfake @francesrose3 @faejilly @jrooc @creepkinginc if you fancy playing? I’m just very exited I’m actually posting this on a Wednesday still! Whoop!!

[cars-on-the-moon]

Still in a tiz-woz and cannot write or create anything for the life of me.

So, here’s a little, goofy Carlando thing below.

It had started in Monaco.

Lando could see the difference. It was so much so as to what the Spaniard said, it was the way he carried himself around him. His posture was straighter, his arms always rigid on each side and his smile tight-lipped. He hadn’t given it so much thought, not when he declined to go out together nor when in Barcelona he cancelled their plans to go golfing. He was extremely busy at his home race after all.

“Mate, hey!” Lando jogged the Montreal deserted paddock to reach him.

Carlos turned to find the voice that had called him and his lips slightly quirked up. “Hey.” he said lowly. “How are you?”

That was a bit too formal for Lando’s liking, so he furrowed his eyebrows and bumped his shoulder. Carlos lost balance for only a moment and grinned a bit wider than before.

“My back is killing me. Those cars,” Lando exhaled deeply. “Seriously, I’m not having a great time.”

“Really?” Carlos looked at him again.

“Yeah, I have changed my training.” he confirmed. “I have to strengthen my back. How’s yours?”

“It’s fine. Not the best, but good enough.” Carlos replied him. “I’ll see you later, be careful with that back.” he patted his shoulder and jogged away.

Lando stood there. He stood, gazing towards the man that had left after exactly uttering five sentences to him. But who was counting.

“Good job, Lando.” was the next words to him. “Lando Norris leading the British Grand Prix.” he turned to find the man grinning to him.

“Thanks, hey, thanks!” Lando replied, turning his body fully towards him. “We are celebrating, you know.”

Carlos chuckled, throwing his head back. Rupert found them there, right in between the motorhomes, embracing Lando quickly.

“We are flying straight to Budapest but have a shot for me, okay?” Carlos replied him.

“Wait, Carlos-” he exhaled, puffing his cheeks. “What is it with him, d’ya know?” he asked the other Brit.

Rupert followed his gaze and looked at Carlos too. “I don’t know, mate.”

“Oh, come on! You are conjoint.” Lando snorted.

The trainer then shrugged. “Ask him, but he won’t say. He’s been very private.”

“From you?” Lando almost –almost, squealed.

During the summer break, Lando forgot. He nearly forgot about the coldness he received from Carlos. He did a million things from following Martin to his shows to renting a yacht with his family and diving into water without a thought in this small brain of his. He played padel with other drivers and hung out with Max lots. He laughed and bantered with a few people around; he even got frisky with a beautiful dark-haired young man from Malta one night he had one too many vodkas.

However, when he returned in Zandvoort, the first person he laid eyes on and really looked was Carlos.

“Good summer break?” he found him on Sunday for the driver’s parade.

“Oh, he talks!” Lando joked, following Pierre’s step.

Carlos smiled tight-lipped, the way Lando didn’t enjoy. Not the huge, exaggerate, whole-hearted laugh of his that Lando adored. Loved.

“What did you do?” he asked then, as he grasped that Carlos was not going to neither remark nor continue the conversation.

“Not much. I trained and hang around with friends.” he replied him.

Just like that, Carlos greeted Alonso and their private conversation had ended.

Again.

 

He took a long breath and nodded along with what Lawrence was saying. He was tired and very warm and- his eyes found the screen that was broadcasting the podium ceremony. He seemed so happy then. In a way that he hadn’t looked in so long. In a way that he used to be around Lando without podiums, awards or *his* Ferrari.

His press officer nodded at him.

“Um sorry, I was watching the podium.” he turned back to Lawrence. “Do we-we aren’t allowed to have smoke in Silverstone. Anyway.” he shrugged, trying really hard to focus in this bloody interview.

Lando liked Singapore. It was in fact one of his favourite tracks. Not from the driving perspective that much, but from the atmosphere, the aesthetics of the night. The city was beautiful and interesting and modern and another thousand little words he didn’t have the intellectual capacity to find.

“Lando?” he heard his name while taking a picture of a very intriguing and complex neon painting above the lift.

“Carlos? You’re staying here too?” he asked.

Carlos nodded, confirming his first thought.

“It isn’t that hot this time around, ey?” the Spaniard asked him pushing the button to call the lift again.

Lando stared at him.

“No?” Carlos asked, furrowing his eyebrows to the lack of a reply.

 “We never talk anymore and your opening is the weather?” he apparently couldn’t hold back.

“What are you talking about, Lando?” Carlos entered the lift.

Lando incredulously snorted at him. Wanting, needing to sound like a f*cking brat.

“You haven’t said a proper word to me in ages! I even texted you and you ghosted me.”

“I have been busy-”

“Yeah, me too mate but I am not an asshole.” Lando interrupted him. “We talk through journalists now apparently. You talked about my back pain without even checking on me.” he added.

The lift *pinged* and Carlos got off. It wasn’t Lando’s floor but he trailed him, suddenly yearning for an answer.

“Your room is better than mine.” he remarked after looking around for a moment and a half.

Carlos crossed his arms.

“Bloody Ferrari, no?” he said.

Lando rolled his eyes at his own past words and shook his head.

“What is going on, Carlos? Did I do something? Because if I did I want to know what I am going to apologise for.” he told him.

“No, you didn’t.” Carlos replied quickly.

“Then what is it? Did my mum do anything? My dad? My sister?”

“No, Lando.” Carlos shut his eyes, hanging his head low.

“Max? Jon? Like-McLaren? Oscar?”

“What? No!” Carlos replied, looking at him again.

Lando parted his lips to ask again but he remained silent. He looked at the Spaniard’s eyes. It was peculiar; the sadness they were displaying.

“What is going on?” he asked again in a lower, softer tone.

Absolutely, completely, utterly unexpectedly, Carlos took a heavy step forward and grabbed Lando’s head, leaning in. Their lips met and the Brit almost yelped to the pure absurdity of the gesture. He froze. He didn’t know what was kissing and how it was supposed to go.

What pulled him back was the scorching hot tug he felt on the back of his head and as Carlos was about to pull back, Lando got scared and pushed. He pushed his lips on Carlos’s more and grabbed his waist tightly to keep him close, in his space.

Carlos pulled back and placed his palm over his lips. His eyes were big, bigger than the usual surprise and he breathing hard, harsh.

“I’m so sorry.” he said. “I’m sorry, Lando.”

“Bloody hell, mate.” Lando stupidly offered.

“I-I am sorry.”

“Well, don’t be.” Lando shrugged. “Is this why you’ve been cold?”

“No, yes, well-”

“Since when do you like men?” Lando asked.

“Since you turned 23.” Carlos replied with a long-crawled huff.

Lando raised his eyebrows to the bloody heavens.

“I found you fit since I was 17 or so.” he said earnestly. “If that makes you feel better. Because well, you seem a bit pale.”

“How can you be so unfazed by-by-what? You like me?” Carlos ran his hand through his freshly-cut hair.

Lando nodded. “Mate, you’re very hot. Very very hot. Like Singapore hot.”

“Lando!” Carlos whined, burying his whole face inside his palms.

The Brit chuckled then and patted his back in an extremely condescending way.

“You never showed.”

“What? I always showed.” Lando replied him.

“You are like this with everyone in the paddock. All you friends.” he spat the last word out.

Lando stopped caressing his back and walked across him.

“You’re jealous that I have friends?”

“You have too many friends.” Carlos immediately remarked.

“What can I say? I’m a good boy.”

Carlos raised his eyebrow. “Are you?”

“Wait, I meant a good guy.” Lando quickly corrected his words.

“No, you said good boy. Are you a good boy?” Carlos took a brave step to him.

Lando’s breath was violently taken away from him. His legs; what were legs even?

“How-how did that happen? I was trolling *you* a moment ago.” he stuttered his words.

Carlos reached for the back of his head again and tangled his fingers with Lando’s curls.

A very rebellious groan escaped the Brit and he had to close his eyes to feel the pure intensity of the atmosphere, of Carlos’s touch.

“If I carry on, we might never comeback.” the Spaniard whispered closely to Lando’s ear.

“We are friends first, Carlos.” Lando replied him.

Carlos shared his frustrations with Ferrari. The misery he felt that he had completely changed his whole online and offline persona to size up to the Italian team’s standards. How he had to maintain appearances about everything, unable to even control his own social media anymore. How he was good, very good and Charles was still the golden prince. How he missed him. How he missed himself in the presence of Lando. How he wanted to be himself and how he wanted to be around Lando.

He shared his skills in bed and left Lando absolutely discombobulated.

He promised to try. Only try.

Now, if Lando seized the opportunity and slapped Carlos’s bum while the latter was in an interview the following day, it was nobody’s business. Friends right? Right.