#cassie youre making me crazy girlie

[franollie]

this is going to be on my mind forever

[tyhxrondxle]

What are your top 5 favorite ships in TSC?

oh god hi!! this will probably make no sense sorry it’s 4 am!!

i’ve based my list on pure feelings, these are the ships I’ve felt most deranged about through the ten years i’ve been reading TSC and I THINK they are objectively my favorites too!!

i’d love to know your top 5 too!!!

(no particular order)

sizzy

i liked Sizzy better than Malec in TMI which is wild considering Malec IS Malec, but Sizzy did something to my brain when I was 12 and i’ve never been the same ever since!

I tend to like those ships that do not have as much page time as the rest, so maybe that’s why I loved them so much

kitty

i never call them Kitty tbh, sorrY I hatE the nameship, i’m more of a heronthorn girlie!

do I even have to explain that i’ve been waiting six years to have them again? my page is based on how much I fucking love them and they ARE my favorite ship no doubt

blackstairs

i’m conflicted about them but i’m taking into consideration the fact that i became completely obsessed with them in 2014 and I waited for Lady Midnight like crazy. i ADORED them in LM, and maybe in LoS, not sure about queen, but overall they made me so happy when I was a child so they needed to be here

malec

i mean they are married and have children and they are who they are. Alec and Ty are two of my top 5 shadowhunter characters💜

jessa

i’ve always been a Jessa stan, didn’t care that much about Wessa tbh. I LOVE who these two are now, they’re backstory and entire lovestory is wild and one of the most beautiful things Cassie has ever written. I would trade this one for Herongraystairs if Cassie had been brave enough to do what had to be done🙄

[barb-l]

y’all hear me out: sinner Adam and Clara Carmine. *BOOM, explosions* 💥 🎇

This is the definition of a crack ship if I’ve ever seen one. you guys might be wondering about the inspiration for this? Well, season two of the US television show ‘Euphoria,’ with the crazy ass Cassie/nate storyline. lol.

Think about it: Clara is out running errands for her mother (going out and looking/shopping for new parts for her mother’s weapons for improving them, doing expeditions around Pentagram city for whatever reason, or just going out shopping in general) and she’s spotted by Adam. Adam being the horn dog he is, makes his move and propositions her. This can be without knowing who she is since he is still new to Hell or it can take place after he’s been there for a bit and knows of the overlords there.

Anywho, he flirts and talks about her crop top and hot pants, invites her to his place (wherever that may be), and just outright lusts over her and brags about himself. Of course, she declines and goes on about her business. Time passes and one day, Clara has a big argument with her mom about how overprotective she is and that she feels smothered. In the middle of arguing, Clara storms out before Carmilla and Odette can catch her. Carmilla insists that they go look for her, but Odette tells her mother that they should give her space and that Clara’ll come back when she’s all cooled down (kind of like Charlie did in episode 4). Carmilla reluctantly agrees, but is still feeling uneasy.

while Clara is out, wandering Pentagram city in anger, she finds a bus stop bench and sits on it. Mulling the argument over in her head and her frustration with her mom, she begins to cry. She’s crying so much that she doesn’t notice that someone’s walked up

in front of her.

It’s Adam. He says something like, 

“what’s with all the tears, babe?” 

Startled, Clara looks up at him and sniffs. She ignores the ‘nickname’ and wipes her eyes, then lets out a choked, “My… my mother and I kind o—of got into a fight.” Call it her being too emotional  to think clearly, but why did she just tell him that?

Adam’s brow furrow. “A fight?” He thinks for a moment, then it clicks, “wait, you’re Carmine’s kid, aren’t ya?”

That leads Clara to squeeze her eyes shut with a grimace and confirm his thoughts. They then go back and forth with questions and answers; Adam asks, Clara answers. He then asks her if she wants to walk a bit and take her mind out of it - to clear her head. She immediately says no and questions why he thinks she would want to go or do anything with him of all people. He replies that he can’t do anything to anyone down here since he has no power, nor is he interested in harming her in any way because he knows Carmilla would kill him with no problem. They are in Hell, so nothing’s off the table with that. 

“Just trust me.”

Trust him. Trust him? Bah! “Yeah, no thanks, Adam,” she dismisses with a wary tone and an eye roll.

“Ah, come on - I don’t bite, girlie. And I’m sure I can’t do anything worse than what that ‘fight’s’ done to you.” He sees Clara’s frown get deeper and tilts his head back a bit. “Okay, fine. Your choice, babe.” He walks off and leaves her to watch his back as he makes his way down the sidewalk. She turns her gaze back to lap and thinks it over: she can stay here and sulk and then go back home and awkwardly face her mother and give an even more awkward apology, or she could take Slimy Adam up on his offer and actually talk about how she feels and get rid of these pent-up emotions before she goes back. when in the heat of the moment, the mind can make the body do funny things because she stands up from her seat and makes her way behind him, then beside him.

They walk in silence before Adam asks her if she feels a bit better. She shakes her head, then ever so softly says, “I just…it’s my mom. I get that she cares about my sister and I and just wants to keep us safe, but it can be a bit…much, you know?” She pauses. “Or maybe you don’t know.” Realizing her mistake, she gasps and widens her eyes in embarrassment. “Or…you do because you were a parent once and— ugh..sorry.” She puts a hand to her forehead and sighs, exhausted. “I’m really just—“ 

She hears Adam snort and looks to him. “Nah, it’s fine. I get it, though. Eh, your mom, I mean. I wanted nothing more than to keep my sons safe, and, well, I couldn’t even do that. Shit.” 

She knows what he’s referencing and can’t help but feel even more helpless. She tells him that what happened wasn’t his fault but Adam stays silent. Soon after, they talk again about Hell and his time there, how she’s used to her home and the expected along with the unexpected that comes with it, and turn the conversation back to her mother. Little by little, she feels the sadness and frustration ebb away as she walks and talks with Adam and then they make it back to Carmine Industries. Clara thanks Adam, but hastily tells him to leave lest he wants to be obliterated by her mom and sister.

His eyes get as big as craters. “Shit! That’s right! Uh, bye …or whatever.” He turns and runs off the property and Clara can hear him say “how the fuck do I get back home?” She turns back to the entryway and watches the door slide open after typing the code into the pinpad. Before she takes a step in, she thinks on her walk-and-talk with Adam and lets the corner of her lip curl in a subtle smile.

Whew, this was long, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a bit. 😂😅 this ‘relationship’ is shocking, toxic, and messy - just like Nate and Cassie’s. 😂

I’m sure you probably think I’m crazy for this, but that’s the point of crack ships, right? ;) The ex-leader of the Exorcist army and the daughter of Carmilla Carmine?! This has so much potential to be maddeningly good. 😂

I'm sorry, I mean this with no disrespect, but you may need to relay this concept to somebody else. Maybe to an Adam stan, bcuz I'm not a big enough fan of him to wanna think about shipping him with anyone

[tommyshithead]

Okay so! Since the news of Cassie's new design I've been freaking out and I dont want to bother my beautiful gf with this so I'm posting it here!! (she doesn't like comics and even if she tells me she loves my rants I've been at it for months and I pitty her soul)

I was thinking about her designs and to be honest I don't think they are really ugly? But I hate them with my soul because it's not how they look it's what they represent!! So I'm going to rant about it

We have:

My beloved! My emotional support in primary/middle school! She's cool and fun and won't take your shit but she's also not an asshole! Fun hair, cool pants, she's just perfect!! My favorite butch or tomboy or whatever you want to call it!!

Then (not in chronological order):

This is not my Cassie but she's cute so she may live!! I don't mind her being more stereotypically girly but I just don't think it fits her. I feel like they watered down her personality to being just "the girl in the team" and that PLUS the girly look and skirt and everything just feels kinda insulting to me. Veredict: She may live but this is not my girl!

And then we have HER [derogatory]:

Uncooperative Mean Girl™ that would have totally bullied people in middle school! They put her in the "conventionally atractive over sexualized crazy-girlfriend" go too box like almost every other female character when they grow up and it's just annoying.

I'm just praying they make her HER again instead of whatever that last one was and make her looks reflect that. (Also pleaaaseeee give her fun hair and cool pants I'm begging)

[astradis]

hiii can i get a matchup !! i absolutely love the way you write and just your blog in general !!

my name is awsten/vee but my close friends/family call me aws ! i’m mexican , tan and a 5’2 girl with short bright pink hair . i have heterochromia and basically i have two different colored eyes ! (my right eye is a hazel looking color while my left eye is blue !) my face has some acne scars and i have my septum pierced along with both my nostrils and i have my vertical labret pierced ! i have tattoos scattered all over my body whether they were professional or stick and pokes my friends or myself have done ! i’m also bisexual!

i’m extremely clingy if im being honest i love hugging my friends and getting them gifts to show my love towards them. ive been told by friends that i remind them of fiona from shameless or even cassie from skins uk ,i say that im usually a people pleaser since whenever people ask me for stuff i usually do it quickly for them and im very talkative almost word vomiting. i’m very quiet when i first meet people but once they probably know me i can talk forever about my hyper-fixations.i can be naive at times because i really just wanna see the good in people , whenever i get angry i usually dont let it show but if its like built up i just cry .

i really love doing witchcraft and astrology!! i am a huge horror film nerd and love learning and discovering new movies !!! i love any music ! one of my most preferred genre is pop punk but i also love alternative stuff ! i dress in very drastically different styles it depends on the day if im being honest 😭😭 . but i love dressing punk , battle vests/jackets , band tees and crust pants and i usually wear my docs that are ladder lace coded .

i hope this is enough and if its too much im sorry !!! and tysm <33 !!

ok but hispanic girlies unite 👊 aws ur literally so cute but i feel like YOURE HER ENTIRE WORLD

CHRISSY CUNNINGHAM

when chrissy locks eyes with you for the first time, her heart beats faster than it ever has. she feels like it’s the first time she’s ever been able to see clearly her entire life. it’s not until you tap her shoulder to bring her back to reality that she realizes you’re right in front of her. you two got paired up for a class project, and now for an entire month, you had to study the human mind and how complex it works. you don’t know how grateful chrissy is that you were willing to repeat the assignment to her, because she was NOT listening to the teacher the moment you sat beside her.

chrissy had always known she liked girls the way she shouldn’t. she tried her best to distract herself with men, and with jason especially, she felt like she’d been getting somewhere. but when every single weekday, she sat beside you and got to know you more, nothing seemed to work anymore and she couldn’t handle the feeling. oh, and don’t even mention the fact you two not only were together period six every day- but now, every saturday was study day for you two. chrissy felt like she was going crazy.

somehow, a discussion landed on sexuality. with how close you two became in the past month, chrissy felt comfortable confiding in you about how she felt about girls but never mentioned anything about how she felt about you in particular. you weren’t just any girl, you were you. you were the beautiful awsten she could never seem to get her mind off of. wait a sec, why are you making that face? why do you look so confused?

-

“Oh my goodness, did I just-“ Chrissy put a hand over her mouth and a hand over her heart. “I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I just said that out loud, I-I was just- I was talking and… that all came out. I’m really sorry, jeez I’m so sorry!”

“Chris, it’s okay,” you reassured, a soft smile on your face as you bashfully looked away to gather your own thoughts into words. “Um, I actually… I really, really do like you. I just, I didn’t know what to say considering you’re with Jason and everything, and the fact you’re just… you. Not like that’s a bad thing! It’s just, well, I don’t want to lose you. Not over something silly like this.”

Chrissy looked back up at your eyes, her hands still placed where they were previously, but she put them by her sides and stood up in front of you. You were very visibly confused until you were pushed backward from your sitting position on your bed to a now laying one, Chrissy’s arms wrapped around you as she hugged you with her face in the comfort of your neck.

“You won’t lose me. You’ll never lose me, Aws.” Chrissy smiled into your neck. You happily hugged her back in a more comfortable position, the two of you laid there for the next few minutes. You could worry about Jason and everything else later, but now- it felt too perfect to let this feeling go.

[lifeasaninfp]

Life as an INFP

26 years old

♉☀️♍🌜♊🌡

MBTI: INFP/J

Life path 2

Enneagram 9

Chinese zodiac: the Ox 🐂

Vedic placements: ♉☀️♌🌜♉🌡

💫 I don't have any water placements in my Western astrology natal chart

💫 Dramatic aspects in my chart include: Sun opposite Pluto, and Venus opposite Pluto

💫 I've taken the MBTI test many times and originally got INFP but the last year I've consistently gotten INFJ. I feel more like an FJ but I won't change my username

💫 You can call me Cassie even though that's not my real name

💫 French/British girl living in England

💫 I have two siblings and I'm the eldest

💫 I'm 5'7, have green/blue eyes, and light brown hair

(I've actually changed my hair colour a lot, usually went blonde, then dark red, then platinum blonde, then dark brown, and now my hair has faded back to it's more natural colour)

💫 I'm currently a university student studying Psychology (going into my 3rd year this September)

💫 My dream career is to become a psychologist

💫 Growing up, I used to want to become an actress and author

💫 I only speak English fluently and French at intermediate level (pls don't roll your eyes by the fact that I should be fluent but I only learnt it for a few years growing up, hence the poor level) I want to learn other languages but it's so difficult and I don't have the time. If time, money, effort and difficulty weren't an issue, I'd want to learn Spanish, Italian and Chinese

💫 A town that will always have a special place in my heart is Sanary-sur-Mer, France 🇫🇷

💫 You can call me a crazy cat lady if you wish, I just LOVE cats 🐈 so much! 🥰

💫 I'm not a dog person but if I were to have a pet dog, it would most likely be a Corgi named Cheddar (yes that is absolutely a Brooklyn 99 reference 😂)

💫 I have aphantasia, which is the inability to form mental images/visualise. I only see darkness at the back of my eyelids. I can't comprehend how people can actually see PICTURES in their minds 🤯 this has always made it difficult to play an instrument and dance since I can't play it out and use as a reference 😔

💫 I'm kind of a hoarder because I get attached to things and don't have the heart to throw certain things away 😅

💫 As a child/teenager I used to play the classical guitar, do karate, go to drama classes, do flamenco dancing 💃 and quit all of them! I feel regret for quitting because I could have been so good by now! (Gemini rising you lil' bish! 😭 - "Jack of all trades, master of none")

💫 Growing up, school wasn't my strong suit. I found it difficult and I was also bullied. So to have eventually made it to study at university is a huge accomplishment! I've always had average to poor grades, so eventually I had to make up for it by working hard and improving my grades (by retaking some things later down the line), so this just shows that when you decide you want to do well and put your mind to it, you can achieve success.

💫 This might be due to the Gemini influence in my chart, but I don't fit into one category when it comes to my preferences. I can be super girly but then I can also be quite casual and into dark clothes and music. I don't like to fit into one stereotype, if that makes sense.

💫 I usually don't like change when it's drastic or all of a sudden, for example if a website I'm on for years suddenly changes their layout and rules, it throws me off (the Taurus in me). However, I like change if it's to do with changing my style or moving to another city/country. I can be quite adventurous!

💫 I have always suffered from poor self-esteem. I have never felt good enough, intelligent enough, pretty enough, interesting enough, and competent enough in school and work. It's a real struggle. Thanks Chiron in Libra in the 5th house!

💫 I'm kind of a hopeless romantic, I love love 💘 💕 💗 my type is someone with dark hair and light eyes, tall, intelligent and interesting, funny and sexy 😋

Favourites

Food: paella, lasagna, mussels, shrimps/prawns, sushi, churros, galette des rois (French cake), chocolate cupcakes, birthday cake, my sweet tooth will be the death of me 🤣

Ice-cream 🍦 flavour: vanilla, stracciatella, chocolate with brownie pieces 😋

Drink: coca-cola, chocolate frappucino from Starbucks, sirop de grenadine (most specifically during the summer time), lychee drink (forgot the brand name of the specific type I like), cider

Music: indie/alt rock, classical, dance, Latin-American/Spanish music

Instrument: guitar 🎸, piano 🎹 and saxophone 🎷

Bands: The Neighbourhood, Savages, The Kills, Phantogram, Placebo, The Bravery, Depeche Mode, Nothing But Thieves, holy ghost!, Beach Weather, Interpol, Amber Run, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Welshly Arms, Muse, The Amazons, The Bohicas

Colours: red, blue, yellow, light pink

Numbers: 2, 22, 222

TV shows: The Vampire Diaries, The Originals, Grimm, Hannibal, The Blacklist, Virgin River, Brooklyn 99, True Blood, Supernatural, Teen Wolf, True Detective, Criminal Minds, and a few British shows like Mock the Week

Movies: Persuasion, Pride & Prejudice, The Parent Trap, Twilight Saga (I know they're bad and cringe but I love it anyway!)

YouTube content: ASMR for sleep and relaxation, British comedy clips

ASMR creators: Batala ASMR, FrivolousFox ASMR, ASMR_Divinity, Alana ASMR, SacredXO ASMR, ATMOSPHERE

Hobbies: Zumba fitness/dancing 💃 ♥ classical guitar (used to do it but stopped a few years ago due to moving and school), writing fanfiction, baking, EATING 🙊

Season: autumn 🍂 spring 🌸

Animals: cats 🐈, cheetahs 🐆, crows 🐦, horses 🐎 flamingos 💗, dolphins 🐬

Fashion: classic, pretty, sexy (but in a classy way), mainly Elena Gilbert and Katherine Pierce fashion style from TVD

Books 📚: The Vampire Diaries (they're a guilty pleasure), Graceling trilogy, pretty much anything by author John Grisham, Bitten by Kelley Armstrong, Shatter Me trilogy ✨

Activities: going on walks, going hiking, cycling in nature

Time of the year: Halloween 🎃 and Christmas 🎄

City: York 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧

Other things I love

... medieval history, stately homes, daydreaming, writing fiction, romantic hallmark movies, charity shops, southern American accents, reading, documentaries, hiking, cycling, dancing, candles, travelling, nature, wildlife, napping 😴, photography, rain when it's warm outside, psychology, astrology, dark academia aesthetic, cottagecore, train journeys, boat rides, the beach

Controversial opinion: pineapple 🍍 on pizza is the best, hands down

Things I can't stand: liars, thieves, entitled people, hate towards anyone, bullying, injustice

Things that scare me: enclosed spaces (claustrophobia), death (my biggest fear), heights, loud fights/arguments (I hate confrontation of any kind), the deep ocean, space!, rollercoasters 🎢

Phobias: claustrophobia, and any mention of blood, gusts, veins and witnessing in person any blood 🤢🥴💀 it makes me feel weak and sick. I can't stand getting blood tests 😭, drowning

Bucket-list: travel to the USA 🇺🇸, to see some of the Southern States like Luisiana but also to see Oregon for the nature, most European countries 🇪🇺 Fiji 🇫🇯, New Zealand 🇳🇿, Iceland 🇮🇸, Machu Picchu, the Lake District 🇬🇧

What I value most: family ❤, close friendships 💛, honesty

Please don't hesitate to send me a private DM to chat about anything! (within reason) I'm not always the best at replying though, so don't think I'm purposefully ignoring you

{I've taken inspiration for this post from a few blogs for the layout, shout-out to them}

● other blogs I have: @astrologically-me @tvdstelenaforever

[redoqs]

Hi, I love your writing, they're so funny! Haha. I hope you're familiar with metal music cos I would like you to do a Dimitrescu sisters in metal concert scenario. I'm just curious of how they would survive the crazy circle pits and their reaction to brutal Deathcore breakdowns, screams and monster growls from the concert. (As far as I can tell, Cassie's gonna have a blast. :))

Anon I want you to know that I don’t know shit about metal music and I did research for you just to make this I hope it’s accurate to the real experience

Imma be honest, I really don’t feel like Bela fully grasps the concepts of concerts

“You want to see the people sing live? Why when you can do it at home?”

“Because, Belly, it’s about seeing them in person and having a good experience!”

“Don’t ever call me Belly again.”

She’s gonna go because she knows her sisters like it and she wants to be annoyed but she doesn’t have time to because WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO LOUD!? Her throat all sore and shit from having to yell everytime she wants to get someone’s attention. Girlie is confused when everyone starts running in circles because since when was she in track and field?🤨 and now everyone is screaming and growling like if she wanted that she would just go to Moreau’s hideout. She does see Cass and Dani having a fun time so she’s trying not to be a total buzzkill, she’s tapping her foot to the beat or whateva🙄but then she starts to get into it and next thing you know she’s screaming and hollering too like okay! Look at Bela not being a total stick in the mud!

Cassandra is right at home. Homegirl is the type to go all out for a concert, wearing all of the clothes, the chains and shit. When it comes to circle pit, girlie is running circles around bitches like she’s the Flash, racing around and pushing people, trampling like girl cmon is it that serious? Imagine looking from overhead at the circle too

“Yo, you see that girl down there speeding through everyone?”

“Yeah, why she acting like this is the roller derby?🤨”

Survive the Deathcore breakdowns? She embracing them loud ass sounds and screaming. Bruh, she’s gonna hop on someone’s shoulders and act like she’s the one on stage she’s gonna be kicking and screaming like baby what ghosts are you tryna attack?! She’s actually hitting and knocking people down she’s so into bruh, her throats all raw and she’s sweaty but she’s enjoying every moment, as she should. When she finally leaves the concert, she’s annoying everyone with her constant screaming

“How was the concert, Cass?”

“IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING HOLY SHIT FUCK!!!”

“Aight girl I’m glad you had fun but you wanna use your inside voice?”

Daniela is almost as bad as Cassandra when it comes to metal concerts. On the way to the concert she already singing the songs that are supposed to be playing

“Dani, what song are you singing?”

“Oh! It’s! *insert song here* by! *insert band here!”

“That’s great! How about we let them sing it, yeah?”

She’s gonna get there and want to buy a t-shirt like they ain’t already pay $300+ just to get the tickets, Dani do you have shirt money?? Homegirl is hyperactive and once the band starts playing she’s moving, swinging, kicking there aint a part of her that isn’t having a seizure. Bruh when they start their circle jerk, I mean circle pit, she’s running like she’s Tryna create a whirlpool like baby slow down you still gotta go the same pace as everyone else. And lord when the breakdowns start she’s channeling her inner lycan she growling and screaming like maam? Are you positive you want to scream this loud? Of course she does and she’s not gonna stop until it’s time to go home, both her and Cassie sound like Morgan Freeman for a week straight after the concert but they will never forget the experience

Anon, I really hope I did this to your liking, I really did try💀

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Hi! As someone who’s literary opinion I really trust, I was surprised that you’re a twilight fan? I know almost nothing except commen knowledge things about that series, and I always assumed it was actually bad/un-feminist. What is it that you like so much that others seem to miss? I’m just genuinely curious about your take on the hate it always seems to get vs. it’s actual quality. I’m not gonna judge bc animorphs is also one of those books where you see it and assume it’s bad.

In over 14 years of loving this series, I’m not sure anyone has ever asked me why I enjoy it instead of simply trying to convince me that I’m wrong to do so.  So thank you for that.

First and foremost, I love the Twilight saga because of the vivid detail in Stephenie Meyer’s writing style.  The descriptions are so lush and dense with sensory information that you can practically bite down on them as you read.  Bella and Jacob aren’t just sitting on the beach; they’re sitting on a gnarled log of driftwood, worn smooth at the top from where so many Quileute teens have sat upon it during bonfires but still uneven enough to rock on its branches when Bella suddenly stands to rage at her own mortality.  Meyer describes that log in Twilight, so tangibly and with such economy of detail, that we recognize it immediately when Bella and Jacob return to that spot in Eclipse.  I’ve always disliked the movies, because I’ve always felt that the best part of Meyer’s writing simply did not translate well to the screen.

Secondly, I love the feminism.

Okay, let’s take a quick pause to let everyone gasp and clutch their pearls over me calling Twilight a feminist work.  I will address the criticisms later.  For now, please just hear me out.

Twilight strikes me as a premier example of what Hélène Cixous means when she calls for “women’s writing,” or writing for women, about women, by women, with a strong focus on the concerns and strengths and desires of womanhood.  This is a series about building and maintaining close relationships, both romantic and platonic.  It celebrates beauty, and love, and care.  Bella moves to Forks because she recognizes that her dad is lonely while her mom is quite the opposite, torn between family priorities.  She doesn’t simply subsume her interests to those of other people, but instead actively chooses how and when and where to express her love for her birth family and her found families.  Most of the other major decisions throughout the story — Alice “adopting” Bella, Carlisle moving the family to Alaska, Jacob becoming werewolf beta, the Cullens going up against the Volturi, etc. — are motivated by care and devotion for one’s family and friends.  Even the selfish or morally ambiguous character choices are shown to be motivated by love.  Rosalie tells Edward that Bella died because she genuinely thinks it’ll help him move on.  Victoria creates an army that nearly destroys Forks because she’s avenging James.  Alice abandons Bella and the others before the final battle because if she can’t save her entire family, then she’ll settle for saving her lover before letting him die in vain.

Not only is there a striking concern with love and care, but there’s also a strong commitment to avoiding violence.  Bella’s eventual vamp-superpower proves to be preventing violence and protecting others, an awesome character decision that I’d argue gets set up as early as the first book.  She lives in a violent world — this is a YA SF story, after all — but she has the power to suppress violence and create peace, both in herself and others.  I was already sick of “power = ability to inflict damage” in YA stories well before I knew the word “patriarchy.”  Twilight was one of the first books to convey to me that power could be refusing to do harm in spite of hunger or anger, that power could be shielding ones’ family, that power could be about building enough friendships and alliances to have an army at one’s back when facing an enemy too strong to take on alone.

Closely connected to all of that love and care, I love how much Twilight is about navigating teenage girlhood.  Is it empowering, intersectional, or all-inclusive?  Hell no.  Does it still dare to suggest that a completely ordinary teenage girl could have valid concerns about the world?  Yep.  The main conflict of the story, as Stephen King so derisively explained, is about the romantic entanglements of a teenage girl, and the book therefore has no literary merit.  (To quote my dad’s response: “Bold words from the guy who inflicted Firestarter on the world.”)

There is, indeed, a lot of romance in Twilight.  There are a lot of clothes.  Alice and Rosalie especially spend a lot of time on makeup, and hair, and choosing the prettiest cars and houses.  Twilight embraces all the stereotypically “girly” concerns of adolescence, and makes no effort to apologize for or condemn them.  Bella isn’t particularly good at performing them — she likes but doesn’t excel at shopping, fiercely defends her ugly car as ugly, hobbles through prom on crutches — but she can still enjoy the feeling of being pretty in a sparkly dress while dancing with her sparkly boyfriend.  And Twilight, like Animorphs with Cassie, takes the daring step of treating that feeling as valid.

Speaking of sparkles, I love the commitment to the fantasy concept in Twilight, including the myriad mundanities that Meyer brings with that commitment.  If you have super-speed, why not use it to play extreme baseball?  If you’re a mindreader with a clairvoyant sister, why wouldn’t you two play mental chess games?  I couldn’t tell you, after seven seasons of Buffy or eight of Vampire Diaries, what Spike or Damien or Angel or Stefan does all day when not brooding or lurking in the bushes to creep on human women.  I can tell you what the Cullens get up to.  Emmett and Rosalie work on their cars, usually by holding them overhead one-handed.  Carlisle and Alice read plays, and sometimes talk the whole family into home Shakespeare productions.  Edward and Carlisle debate theology, Emmett and Jasper have dumb athletic competitions, Edward and Esme play music, Alice manipulates stock markets, the twins go shopping online, etcetera.  The Cullens feel real, feel like the vampires next door, in a way that Louis and Lestat simply do not.

To get to the elephant in the room — I just described Twilight as a feminist text! — let’s talk about the other thing the Cullens do for fun: they have sex.  Weird sex.  Kinky furniture-breaking sex.  Sex that Emmett (who would know) compares to bear-wrestling.  These books suck with regards to queer representation, but they are sex-positive.  They feature an old-school Anglican protagonist offering his daughter-in-law a medical abortion.  They treat Edward’s desire for sex only within marriage and Alice’s desire for sex outside of marriage as both being valid.  Like I said, not groundbreaking, even by the standards of 2005, but still more than most teen novels do even today.

There’s a passage from Breaking Dawn that people love to pull out of context as “everything wrong with Twilight in two paragraphs” because it describes Bella waking up the morning after sex with bruises on her arms.  That moment is shocking out of context, to be sure — but in context, it’s the end result of an in-depth consent negotiation that lasts four books.  Bella says that she’d like to become a vampire.  Edward says okay, but only if she spends a few more years living as a human and considering that choice.  Bella says okay, but only if Edward, not Carlisle, becomes the one to turn her.  Edward says they can use his venom, but that Carlisle, who’s an MD, really needs to supervise the process.  Bella doesn’t love the idea of Edward’s stepdad cockblocking what’s supposed to be an intimate moment, and so agrees only on the grounds that she gets to have sex with Edward as a human first.  Edward’s hella Catholic, so he requests that they get married first.  Bella’s super horny, so she demands that the wedding happen within six months.  Edward says that he might hurt her during sex, and Bella says that she wants a little hurt during sex.  They marry.  They bang.  During the banging, Edward makes every effort to be controlled and courteous and gentile, while Bella goes wild and crazy.  The next morning, she has bruises and he does not.  Edward apologizes, but Bella’s actually really into it.  She spends a while admiring her sexy vamp-marked self in the mirror, touches the bruises many times, and reminds us yet again that Bella Swan’s whole M.O. is being a monsterfucker.  Her kink is not my kink, and that’s okay.

To be clear, I think there are other aspects of the romance that get criticized for good reason.  Edward does not negotiate with Bella before sneaking into her room to watch her sleep, and he does make unacceptable use of their power differences when he thinks she’s in danger of being mauled by werewolves.  The text condemns Jacob’s “don’t wanna die a virgin” ploy to manipulate a kiss out of Bella, but not the wider conceit of all the male characters as possessing uncontrollable urges.  Bella’s struggles to adjust to a new town feel very feminine and realistic; her amused tolerance of Jacob’s and Mike’s sexual harassment as the price for their friendship does not.  Werewolf imprinting might be mostly platonic, but that doesn’t make it okay for Meyer to depict it as a form of soulmate bonding that happens with child characters. Those are good points, all around.  I just wish that most of them didn’t come up in the context of post-hoc rationalizations for loathing the femininity of a feminine text.

I’m not calling Twilight an unproblematic series.  I’m saying that it gets (rightly!) criticized for appropriating Quileute culture, while Buffy’s total absence of main characters of color and blatant anti-Romani racism are (wrongly!) not remarked upon. I'm saying that I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for liking Twilight but not for liking James Bond.  I’m saying that there’s a reason people tend to go “oh, that makes so much sense!” when I let them in on the fact that reactive hatred for “Twitards” started and spread on 4Chan, later home of Gamergate and incel culture.  I’m saying that Twilight depicts problematic relationship dynamics as sexy — but then so do Vampire Academy, Blue Bloods, Supernatural, Vladimir Tod, and Vampire Diaries.  All of which take the time to stop and thumb their noses at Twilight, smug in the superiority of having vampires that fly rather than vampires that sparkle, and for thoroughly condemning teenage girls for being girly while continuing to show men inflicting violence on them.

After all, as Erin May Kelly puts it: “we live in a world taught to hate everything to do with little girls.  We hate the books they read and the bands they like.  Is there anything the world makes fun of more than One Direction and Twilight?”  No one has ever called me a misogynist for liking the MCU, in spite of less than a third of its movies even managing to clear the low-low bar of the Bechdel test.  Because people are still allowed to like Harry Potter in spite of its racism, or Lord of the Rings despite its imperialism.  Because hatred for Twilight was never about its very real sexism, or the genuinely silly sparkle-vampires, until it had to justify itself as something other than hate for everything that teenage girls have ever dared openly love.

I enjoy the novels, and I enjoy the fan fiction that tries to fix some of the problems with the novels.  I appreciate the extent to which Meyer has elevated fan culture, and made an effort to acknowledge her own past mistakes.  I would love to be able to talk about my love for the series as a flawed but beautiful work of literature, but for now I’ll settle for asking that the world just let me enjoy it in peace.

[annab-nana]

Something There That Wasn’t There Before - Colby Brock

After a meaningless kiss one drunken night, the friend group notices a difference in Colby and y/n’s relationship, though they don’t. They barely even remember it, but that doesn’t stop their group of buddies from pushing them together.

Warnings: some curse words

Word Count: 2.5k+

--------------------------------------------------

“So, what have you been up to, girlie?” Tara asked as she skipped on along to the couch with Katrina, Devyn, and Cassie following in behind her. I roll my eyes at her before shutting my apartment door behind them and make my way over to the couch with them.

“Well after work, I took a shower, tidied up around here really quick, and then worked on a few songs,” I tell her as I plop down on the couch next to her.

“Oh, so you have been busy,” Dev adds, earning a nod from me.

“Yep, I’ve been going nonstop since like seven this morning and it is now…” I let my words trail off as I glance down at my phone to see the time, “five o’clock.”

“What songs were you working on?” Cassie wonders as she reaches for the papers I had laying on the coffee table in front of us, but I swiped them before she could grasp them. She gave me a fake pout before leaning back onto the couch.

“You know that I want to keep them a surprise,” I say as I get up to put them on the kitchen counter.

“I don’t know how you do that. I can’t keep my songs a surprise. I have to at least tell Sam,” Kat speaks her opinion and I laugh.

“I can’t either. I tell someone, but I want them to be a surprise to you guys.”

“Who do you tell?” Tara asks, her curiosity getting the better of her.

“Probably Colby,” Kat snickers as I nod.

“That is exactly who I tell. He’s my best friend. I couldn’t keep it from him if I tried,” I explain.

“I think there is something more going on between you two that you guys won’t let on,” Kat starts, and I roll my eyes.

“Are you serious? This again? We don’t like each other like that,” I protest. Ever since Colby and I kissed a few weeks ago when we were each out of our minds, blackout drunk, everyone has been saying that we should get together or that they think we already have and are just hiding from them. I don’t even remember the kiss and neither does he. I honestly wouldn’t believe them if it weren’t for the video Tara took while also being highly intoxicated.

“You guys have been acting different ever since that night, y/n. You can’t deny that. It’s obvious,” Cassie states and the girls nod along with her in agreement.

“That’s the thing though. We haven’t. Literally nothing has changed except for the fact that you guys and everyone else has been egging on a relationship between us. If anything has changed, it’s been the way you all act,” I defend myself. It’s been annoying to be honest. The constant pushing and interfering has been getting on my nerves. I wish it would stop, but I know that they probably won’t until we get together or one of us snaps or if we stop being friends all together. I don’t want any of those to happen.

“You always sit next to him or even lean into him at pizza night,” Devyn brings up.

“We are best friends, so what?”

“He gave you his hoodie the other night when we went to Chipotle,” Tara mentions, and I roll my eyes again.

“Can he not be a nice guy? It was freezing that night and Jake gave you his.” I fight back.

“Jake is my boyfriend.”

“Ever since that night, y’all hang out with each other, just you two, a whole lot more than before. You guys used to hang out with all of us, but you seem to keep to yourselves lately,” Kat points out.

“Wanna know why? Because literally every time we are around anyone in the friend group, y’all try to get us together. The guys aren’t as bad about it as you are. Maybe that’s why Colby isn’t having as hard of a time with all this as I have but you guys have been basically suffocating me with it. I talked to Colby about it, but I kind of don’t want to go to pizza night anymore because I can’t even enjoy myself without thinking ‘Am I too close to Colby?’, ‘Are they going to think we are dating?’, ‘I’ll just stay close to the other guys so that they don’t suspect anything’. I just want to have fun with my friends, but my friends are making it hard for me to have fun.” I finish. I stood up in the middle of my whole speech because I was too mad to stay sitting. I could tell that I had taken them back a bit, but what I said had to be said.

“I’m sorry I had to unload all of that on you guys, but I had to say it. I’m sorta tired, so I’m going to go to my room and take a nap. Y’all can hang in here or leave if you want. I just want to be alone,” I softly speak before I walk off to my room.

KATRINA’S POV

“We did kind of come at her, guys,” Cassie mutters and I nod at her. I thought y/n liked Colby and figured we were helping her out by pushing them together, but I must have been wrong. I throw my head in my hands and groan in frustration at myself.

“I feel like shit,” I murmur into my hands. I didn’t realize that we had pushed her so bad to the point that she doesn’t even want to hang out with us anymore.

“I’m going to go talk to her,” Devyn’s soft voice spoke before she stood from her spot on the sofa. Cassie and Tara do the same as me and stand with her.

“Let’s all go talk to her,” Tara speaks, and we nod before I lead the way to y/n’s bedroom. My right hand places a soft knock against her door as my left reaches for the doorknob, twisting it and swinging it open. Sadness washes over me when my eyes lay sight to y/n. She lays facing away from the door, but I can tell from the slight shakes of her body that she is crying. I look back at the girls behind me, sticking my lip out sadly before walking in.

I walk over to the side that she is facing before taking a seat next to her. Her gloomy eyes meet mine and she grabs a small pillow that laid next to her, covering her face with it. I let my fingers swipe across her forehead, pushing any hair that was in her face out of the way, then pulling the pillow out of the way.

“We’re sorry for pushing you,” Cassie is the first to speak.

“We didn’t know we were hurting your feelings or making you feel like you couldn’t have fun or hang out without our judgment,” Tara adds.

“We just saw something in you and Colby that we didn’t see before and immediately thought y’all were in love, but maybe it was nothing or y’all are getting closer as friends if that is even possible,” Devyn chuckles as she rubs y/n’s leg comfortingly through the covers.

“We love you, y/n, and would hate it if you didn’t come to pizza night and have fun because we made you feel like you couldn’t. We are really sorry,” I apologize before wiping away the tears that had laid on y/n’s face before we came in. She gave me a shy smile before speaking.

“I love you guys too, but you’ve got to cool it with the constant Colby stuff. We are just friends,” She says as she props herself up on her elbows to look at us all. We all nod at her in agreement.

“We will. We promise,” Tara answers, sticking her pinky out in front of us all. I laugh before placing mine with hers and the other girls follow suit. After a few shared giggles, I decide its best we leave y/n because she is probably really tired.

“Okay girls, let’s go, so she can take a nap,” I announce before standing.

“Give me a hug first,” She pouts, and I roll my eyes playfully before leaning down and wrapping my arms around her.

“I love you, Kat,” I hear her whisper in my ear and I pull away, smiling down at her.

“I love you too bubs,” I coo. The rest of the girls get their hugs before we head out to let the poor girl get some much-needed sleep.

Y/N’S POV

“Damn, how long did I sleep?” I whisper to myself after seeing how dark it is outside and I grab my phone. 9:18 p.m. I groan as I sit up and rub the sleepiness out of my eyes before shooting Colby a quick text.

Y/n: you busy?

Colbert😜: nope

Y/n: wanna walk with me to panda

Colbert😜: yeah i’ll be down there in a few

I am starving, so as soon as he gets here, we are leaving. Walking to my closet, I pull out the neon yellow ‘Okay 2 Decay’ hoodie he gave me the other night when we went to Chipotle with Jake and Tara and contemplate putting it on. I have borrowed his clothes before. I don’t know why I am even thinking about this. It has never been a problem before, and it shouldn’t be a problem now.

I slip the hoodie on and walk to the bathroom to put some concealer on to hide what I could of my slightly puffy and red eyes from crying right before falling asleep. My mascara from earlier today was still on mostly, but I added a little more just because. After putting on a little chapstick, I brush through my hair, throwing it into a ponytail, and slip on my shoes just as Colby walks in.

“What happened to you?” Colby jokingly asks as he watches my worn-out self.

“I am exhausted and hungry. Leave me alone,” I pout before grabbing my phone, keys, and money and stuffing them into the hoodie pocket. “Let’s go.”

“Yes ma’am,” He chuckles as he shuts and locks my door behind him. We walk to the elevator and descend on down to the lobby before beginning our walk to Panda Express.

“So, what did you and the girls do earlier?”

“How’d you know I was with them?” I question. I never told him that they came over.

“Sam and Jake told me.” I give him a look that tells him to continue which he does. “I went over to Sam’s to see what he was doing because I was bored and you told me you were going to work on songs today and I couldn’t bother you. He told me that Kat was going to your place. Then, Jake said that Tara was going too with Devyn and Cassie.”

“Oh, we were just hanging out before they brought up what they always do. Then things sort of blew up and I snapped at them about it, but we all apologized, and they promised to chill out with the pushing,” I tell him.

“It's good that you finally told them how you feel because if you didn’t, they would have driven you crazy,” He states before I nod my head in agreement. We make it to the restaurant and Colby opens the door for me, allowing me in first.

“Thanks, Colbert,” I sweetly thank him as he groans at my nickname for him. He says he hates it, but I think deep down he loves it. After we order and get our food, we sit down.

“So, what did you do with your Kansas boys?” I ask as I spin my fork to get some noodles.

“Same thing as y’all, but it didn’t end in a huge argument. We hung out and then they started to talk about how they think we’d be good together.” Colby tells me as he stuffs a big bite of orange chicken and fried rice into his mouth. I don’t know how he manages to fit it all in there, but he surprisingly does.

“Yeah, but all of them have been saying that ever since we became close friends. I do not get why it changed so quickly and everyone pushed for it so much harder. It can’t be because we kissed while we were drunk. Before she started dating Jake, Tara and I kissed while drunk at one of your parties and no one was jumping on us to date.” Colby laughed at the brought-up memory before speaking.

“I don’t get it either. Sam mentioned something about there being something there that wasn’t there before.”

“Devyn said something like that earlier too,” I add as I slide some honey walnut shrimp onto my fork.

“Hopefully, it will all blow over and things will go back to normal soon,” Colby says. I nod before we go back to talking about our days before I realize something.

“This is where we first met, isn’t it?”

“Yeah about two years ago, wasn’t it?” I nod to answer his question.

“Yep, I wasn’t paying attention as usual and bumped into you. We started to talk for a long ass time before realizing how late it was getting and you would not let me walk home by myself,” I reminisce.

“Because I couldn’t let you walk home in the dark by yourself after I had kept you out so late. And especially since it is L.A. and you look like you do, there is no telling what could have happened to you.”

“What do you mean ‘you look like you do’? How do I look?” I question him as I watch him look down slightly before meeting my gaze again and his cheeks redden a bit.

“You’re gorgeous, y/n. Anyone can see that,” He compliments, and I can’t help the blush that rises to my cheeks.

“Maybe they’re right. You like me,” I joke. His blush darkens as he shakes his head.

“I can’t think my best friend is hot? Well damn, what a world we live in,” He chuckles before finishing up his last bit of food. I still had a little bit left to go since I wasn’t taking monstrous-sized bites like he was.

“For the record, I think you are hot, too,” I giggle as I sip on my drink.

“Oh so, you like me now?” He grins as he pushes his food to the side and leans in closer to me, trying to challenge me. I slide my food over as well before leaning in too.

“Wouldn’t you like that?” I push. A smirk falls upon his lips as the tension between us grows. It feels like a magnet, pulling me closer to him and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t stop myself. I let myself get closer to him as he does to me.

“You’re not drunk, are you?” He asks and I shake my head.

“No, are you?”

“No, but I want to kiss you.”

“Then, kiss me.”

[lindyloosims]

Archer:

After getting myself together and heading back, my heart was in my mouth! I’d already witnessed my Cassie and Johnny Zest expressing major PDA and it made me feel sick. Not that that kinda thing made me sick, it was seeing Cassie with someone else that nauseated me! I approached them as a drunk woman was bantering with Johnny while my sweet girl looked on bemused.

DRUNK WOMAN: Oh I get it! A rose between two thorns eh? Girl you got some serious Vampire Diaries situation going on here!

Cassie gasped and her eyes were as wide as saucers, but she didn’t even look over at me, it was as if she was trying to pretend I wasn’t there but this woman was making that very difficult.

DRUNK WOMAN: You have to choose girly, you can’t string ‘em both along, look at ‘em! They’re besotted! 

Johnny mumbled something to Cassie with a nervous laugh as she answered him just as quietly and the woman staggered off. I wasn’t sure if I should even go near them but I had to show my face or it would definitely look suspicious if I turned heel again and ran.

ARCHER: Hey Cassie, long time no see! You’re looking great by the way, how was your birthday? Johnny here tells me you’re dating, that’s cool!

I sounded like a complete idiot spouting nonsense. I was so nervous though, I had no idea what to say in order to not look guilty, I didn’t want my pal Johnny to know that the drunk woman wasn’t crazy...she knew exactly what was going on! Cassie was the rose and Johnny and I were the thorns!

CASSIE: Hi Archer! 

Cassie mumbled a hello, not even turning her head to look at me. I couldn’t tell if she was mad, shy or embarrassed. Maybe all three, but still she wouldn’t look me in the eye and it hurt! There was an awkward silence as Johnny was looking me up and down with a puzzled expression.

ARCHER: Well, it was great to see you both, I’m gonna head in and have a look around. I hear there’s a fierce gaming tournie on later! You guys have fun!

I’d had enough of the awkwardness and to be honest I didn’t wanna see Johnny put his tongue in her mouth again or I’d surely vomit for real this time. I was so jealous of him it was difficult for me to be cordial, and he was my friend, but Cassie...she was everything! Ruby had been right, she was gorgeous!

A good few minutes later, I found the big screen that played the trailers to all the cool upcoming sci-fi movies. I was by myself, the way I liked it, when I was aware of someone behind me...it was her!

CASSIE: Hey Archie? Can I sit down?

My heart was pounding, fast! There was no sign of Johnny, had they fallen out? A boy could dream, that wasn’t nice, Johnny was my friend! All is fair in love and war though my friend, and Cassie was worth going to war over! I pretended to hardly notice her and kept staring up at the screen.

ARCHER: Sure thing! It’s a free country!

She sat so close to me, another awkward silence engulfed our little space, I was scared to look at her for fear of losing my shit. She smelled the same, roses, she was so grown up. Her voice still sounded so sweet and innocent though, her mannerisms hadn’t changed either, she was still shy and awkward and adorable! I tried so hard to be cool, remembering that she had a boyfriend and that he was a friend of mine.

ARCHER: You cut your hair.

CASSIE: Yes, I...well I always had it long. Felt I needed a change.

ARCHER: It looks lovely...um...I mean...looks good on you!

CASSIE: Archie, I’m sorry for my behaviour when we last saw each other, it was inappropriate, I know that now. Look I understand if you don’t want to but...can you forgive me?

Oh man was my heart racing! I looked at her then, her little face made me melt. Here I was thinking that she hated me when all along she thought I hated her! Not a chance, I adored her!

ARCHER: There’s nothing to forgive Cassie, and even if there was, you have to know I’d forgive you anything!

Her little cheeks flushed and she blinked her big brown eyes in surprise. I stared at her, I didn’t care anymore, I wanted to take in every part of her and memorise the way she looked. Just in case it was the last time before she rode off into the sunset with Johnny fucking Zest...or should I say Landgraab! Boy her parents must have been fuming over that one!

We talked and laughed for a while, it was like old times except I felt more relaxed. I never wanted us to leave that sofa, somehow the trailers I’d been so excited to see didn’t matter anymore, all that mattered was her...

...but then he appeared!

JOHNNY: Babe, let’s go! We’re leaving!

Slap, bang, back to reality! I’d almost forgotten he existed! He sounded angry, she looked sad and me? Well I wanted to hold onto her for dear life and run!

Previous_Next

From The Beginning

[secretlystephaniebrown]

jewishsuperfam replied to your post: Did you read the original Young Justice comics? If...

i get why anon is confused bc they retcon her personality and backstory so many times (such is the fate of all wondergirls) but originally she was a superhero fangirl with an overbearing mom, who stole some artifacts from diana so she could be her new sidekick, and then intimidated zeus into giving her powers.

then it got retconned that zeus was actually her dad, which is Less Fun. also, in YJ she was a total tomboy who was very very gay for her teammate cissie king-jones, tho technically she canonically was crushing on superboy. but she was a TOTAL tomboy, and fully despised girly things and only cared abt superheroes and superheroing and getting stronger (and cissie. she very much cared abt cissie lmao)

and then graduation day happened and YJ ended and geoff johns took over teen titans and changed EVERYONE’S looks and personalities, but none more so than cassie, who he turned into a boy-crazy cheerleader type

and for some reason that was the personality that has stuck ever since, although the current YJ run has her actually acting like herself again, which has made me so happy

what an icon! It makes sense she’s finally back to her “real” self, given that Bendis was supposed to be writing in the preboot, rather than in Geoff Jones’ bizarro fetish world