#cat ears? what cat ears?? idk what youre talking abt

[cloudemojie]

zozotown niigo....... ough....

[lildoodlecat]

wearing the cute earrings to my x2 job grind session <3

[btdemaru]

Obey Me! Dating fluff headcanon.

ft. The 7 demon brothers seperate

(obey me brothers x GN! Reader)

Note : these r just the headcanon + love language that i think would fit them, if it's abit ooc i apologize!

Warning : slightly suggestive

Lucifer

his love language is definitely acts of service and quality time

Opening doors for you, pouring you a cup of coffee he made just for the both of you

Whenever he's doing work and you're in the room with him, he'd probably pull you onto his lap

Lucifer loves and always enjoys the times you spend together frfr

Even if it's just in his room, going for night walks, fancy dinners and so on

If you guys go out for dinner or just grocery shopping he would definitely put his hand around your waist just to show everyone there that you're his

He'll say that hes a little overprotective.. even tho 'little' is far from how protective he actually is 💀

Tends to overwork himself so you have to force him to get his ass to bed whether you drag him or not

Is too prideful to admit that he craves your hugs and cuddles every night

Mostly calls you 'my love' or 'my dearest'

If you disturb him while he's working on a deadline or just giving him an attitude he'd definitely be pissed and wouldn't hesitate to put your bratty attitude in place

Loves kissing your lips and neck

Mammon

I think his love language is gifting (more to receiving gifts lmfao) and physical touch

Will make you his lucky charm when he's gambling 😉

If he won, you're in for a treat! Would spend the money he won on you by buying you new clothes, shoes, jewelry or even a lingerie (more of a gift for him tbh)

Mammon is very caring towards you so when he sees that you're down or upset he'd definitely will try his hardest to cheer you up

Which probably is easy since he's such a fun demon to he around with so you're never bored with him around

I think his nicknames for you that he uses alot is probably 'stupid' or 'human'

Ofcourse he doesn't mean it when hes insulting you though

If he hears anyone insulting you he'd make a scene which sometimes mostly isn't really needed if you dont give a shit about what other demon/people say.

Favorite parts of you he likes to kiss is your cheeks

Leviathan

I've always imagined him as a sweet boy (so breedable)

His love language? Quality time and maybe physical touch <3

He's mostly in his room, so when you invited yourself in and started talking about how you like his interest he'd burst right there and then.

Loves your touch, perhaps abit clingy..? Typa guy who'd snuggle with you in bed while he's playing games or sitting on your lap while he's fighting bosses 👌

has difficulty accepting that you choose to spend time with him or even dating him

If you decide to cosplay just for his eyes only his brain would malfunctioned, face and ears all red flushed

Tbh he'd get just a teeny tiny bit jealous when you pay more attention to henry 2.0 than him but he thinks it's cute that you also care for his little goldfish.

Would call you 'normie' or just by your name

Loves when you reassure him no matter the situation, when he has nightmares or his self-esteem isn't good or more.

Kisses your inner thighs or hand

Satan

Maybe word of affirmation?

Satan would write and reads the poems he made just for you

Most likely he'll read you stories if you're struggling to sleep or has insomnia

he will let you read him the book he's reading while he lays on your lap demanding his head to be stroked as well

Favorite activity with you is reading together in bed the whole day or going to a cat cafe, taking pictures of you holding a cat (would probably make it his wallpaper)

He can be harsh sometimes especially when he just had an argument again with Lucifer and would apologize dearly when he lashes out at you.

Not much of a PDA fan but will hold your hand when the you're going out together

Idk abt nicknames but probably 'kitten' (?) Or 'darling'

Satan will keep every cat item you gave him (keychain, plushie ect)

Kisses your right hand alot along with your lips

Asmodeus

Physical touch 🔛🔝

We all know he's flirty and he won't hide it

He loves PDA so be prepared lmaoo, he'll hold your hand/waist or give you random kisses here and there whether it's on your lips, neck, hand anywhere!

You guys would go on shopping dates ALOT, he loves picking clothes for you and once even tried going in to the changing room with you to "help".

Shopping with him takes pretty long- after buying clothes he goes to buy perfume then shoes then nail polishes then this and that, but no worries he'd spoil you to buy whatever you want there

Asmo buys alot of matching outfits for the both of you

Without you noticing he'd probably buy new toys every now and then for the both of you to try (iykyk)

Another favorite activity he likes to drag you into is warm steamy baths together, just the thought of your bare body touching gets him excited!

Has plenty of nickname for you its uncountable 'sweetie', 'love', 'darling', 'dollface', 'hottie' and 'sexy'

Beelzebub

quality time

This big boy melts like putty when you cook for him, whether it's a dish from where you came from to his favorite foods

Likes to cuddle with you while eating chips, the crumbs tend to get all over you but he has no problem cleaning it up with his mouth

Ask you on a movie date alot (bringing snacks and food is a must!!)

Loves when you're watching him exercise and would be happy if you join him

He'd blush hard if he notice you staring at his body (who wouldn't tbh)

Sometimes but rarely ask his twin brother to join on sleepy dates

Usually would walk behind you or hold your hands, nobody would dare to do anything to you if he's around- he would throw hands if you got physically hurt by someone- so you'll definitely feel safe with him

'honey' or food based stuff is probably his favorite nickname to call you.

I think he'd bite you softly more than kisses, but if he does kisses you it's mostly collarbone or forehead

Belphegor

Like his twin beel, loves quality time with you!

Your dates with him would probably 99.999% be sleepy dates and cuddles

Always ask you to sleep next to him, bodies tangled together and just so comfy he LOVES it!

I personally like to think that he purrs- so imagine him purring loudly while you give him head pats and sleeping on your chest.

Gives you the right airpods/headset so you both can relax while listening to music together, just enjoying each other's company

His body temperature is ice cold so if you're a warm person expect him to cling to you everywhere

If you aren't there he'd probably pouts while hugging his pile of stuffed animals and pillows until you get back

Hogs your lap purposely if you're having a conversation with beel, belphie pretends to be asleep tho he's listening to both of your convo.

Nicknames? I think he'd just call you by your name.

Sleepy kisses on your lips, sometimes sloppy makeout sessions.

[freckliedan]

Hi!!! I just wanted to talk about how Dan and Phil as a brand is so relatable to neurodivergents in the way that they've been treated recently. So DnP built their careers off of being "weird" and "quirky" and socially awkward. That was Their Thing. Dan spoke for years about being violently bullied (quotes such as "being punched in the head by dickheads" stand out as a pre-BIG example of just how violent it got at times), Phil had the Why I Was a Weird Kid series, they both were frequently talked about as being "weird" and "awkward" by other YouTubers - they WERE the "weird" ones of the vlog group. The ones that awkward teens could relate to. Unfortunately, this got the attention of the #imsoquirky crowd who talks like they're experiencing all of these things while also being the same people who would mock me for my autism.

And that's the crowd now saying Dan is too old to be posting catboy photos or saying that the two of them "give the ick now, idk why." And I just can't help but notice how much I relate to that as an autistic and ADHD person. So many times over the years, I've made "friends" who were slightly into my interests, but then got weirded out by how hard I went into them. I think what we're seeing is the same thing happening to Dan and Phil. Drawing cat whiskers on your face to answer questions? Well that's "so cute and quirky"!! (/s). But actually playing as Catboys in JRPGs, dressing up in cat ears, making animal noises (which the two of them always did but ig this group overlooked), etc? Well that's "too far" and "so weird."

I think Dan especially got hit with this because he has more subscribers. When he talks about being bullied, most people can relate to that. But then when he goes and honks a horn in a game repeatedly (which tbh I've done before myself, very ADHD coded of him) or talks about hiding behind vending machines to avoid talking to people, that is suddenly "too annoying/weird" for some of the audience that got into him for his "relatably weird" content.

Sorry this is such a long ramble, but basically Dan and Phil have accidentally become the perfect examples of how kids with autism/ADHD/social pragmatic disorder/nvld/dyspraxia *insert other neurodivergencies that can cause atypical socialization* are treated. People might find your initial "quirkiness" relatable because everyone feels awkward or socially anxious at times, but it's when they see that you are Actually Just Like That and it's not to be #relatable that they turn on you and start saying that you're "too much" and "too weird."

Dan and Phil were the "weird" ones of the British vlog scene, and those of us who tuned into the younows or watched their older videos knew this, but someone who only subbed after watching a meme review or the two of them playing undertale might have assumed that they were the "right" kind of quirky/weird.

This is probably incoherent, but I hope you get what I mean.

this isn't incoherent! just such a well thought out ask i don't have anything to add. there's really specific ways i'm comfortable talking abour dnp + neurodivergence & neurodivergence in general so it's not something i've ever done super in depth posts abt!

i've actually gotten a few really lengthy asks like this over the last few weeks, so this is to you and to my other askers: i really appreciate that folks want to share their ideas with me but sometimes i genuinely don't have enough to contribute in response to add on to what's being said! and that makes it pretty impossible to answer asks like this.

so this is to everyone: feel free to @ me in the replies on your posts! (doing that leaves things cleaner than @ ing in the body of a post, which in my experience means folks are more likely to engage, if that's what you're looking for). especially loop me in about dnp + neurodivergene or dnp + gender!

this isn't a promise i'll rb or even see things, this website's functionality is shit, but like. it's actually way easier for me to see and support than if yall are sending me essay length anons, and this way i + others can find more people who share the same opinions as us! make ur own posts & ppl will follow u i prommy

[hazbinhappy]

hii!! I was wondering if you could match me up with someone!! My name is Jamila(its arabic) and im a lesbian she/her hobbies: i sing(soprano),play piano,draw,figure skate,sew,bake, and crochet. Personality: im a very social person!! Im usually nice but i can be somewhat bratty sometimes(as in if we dont do what i wanna i kinda shut down),i can be bitchy sometimes but thats usually when im overstimulated or about to have a meltdown(im autistic), im also really hyper!! My love language is physical touch(im a very clingy person usually. I do have kinda bad communication skills bc of how i was raised so i usually start crying when im mad or sad abt something. I apologize alot sometimes. Im mentally ill(idk if i should mention that😭) abt me!!: I have a cool scar on my hand(it covers the side w the thumb on it) from a 2nd degree burn. I have a few more scars all over! My favorite colors are pink and red. Im mexican!!! I LOVE musicals(especially mean girla and heathers). My favorite actor is Avantika,winona ryder or renee rapp. My style is mcbling(fav color combo for outfits is black and pink) i love shoping. My parents own a restaurant so im usually hanging around there and bake things! I live in Miami(basically live at the beach tbh) i LOVE juicy coutore i own lots of vintage juicy and vintage Victoria secret pink things! Im a cat person! Im a picky eater(😭) and i have insomnia (its horrible.) IM TERRIFIED of bugs and i LOVE flowers i hope this was enough info abt me..😖. My demon has pink hair (like verosika),pale white skin(basically fur shes a bunny),she has bruise marks and cut marks in pink on her fur (kinda like birth marks for hell?) because when she died she was beaten to death. She has bunny ears that are usually flopped down and a bunny tail:3 she wears a red leather mini skirt w a red tank top that has lace on it. She wears juicy coutore jewlery and has red thigh highs w black boots(therye platform)

i hope that was enough info!!! Have a good day thank you:))

Your Matchup is....

Velvette!

I think this one was obvious, but still :D

I think that initially she’d own your soul as a fashion designer, but over time you guys forget that she owns your soul

She likes that you have multiple hobbies because in the beginning that means you would’ve been a content farm for her, but as she started to care for you saw that you have a limit she made a schedule that worked for her and you so that you were comfortable

She doesn’t mind the physical touch even if it’s not really her love language, but don’t touch when she’s mad or busy! She is sensitive to that kind of thing so just ask first and you’re in the clear!

Her love language is quality time so spend time with her as she talks shit and she’ll be all smiles

Velvette is like the 2nd bitch out of the V’s so don’t worry about that (though you seem sweet so it balances out a bit)

You’d be surprised that the V’s have pretty decent communication skills (look at the media empire they run in all of Hell) so if yours is bad she’d either ask for clarification so just try to figure it out on her own (not in a bad way, but more so in a time efficiency way)

Crying when mad or sad is just a stress reliever! I don’t think she’d make fun of people for crying, but she usually doesn’t care unless it is you crying because she’s with you not the those other people

Why shop when she can poof it up or have someone make it? Jk she’d also love to shop with you and show off her designs in stores too, but if it’s like trinket shopping she wouldn’t mind as well

She wouldn’t mind having a cat… just keep it out of her studio.

Velvette is probably a picky eater too so don’t worry y’all are there together

Velvette has a shit sleep schedule due to managing their social media and apps and designing so she’s happy to have another person be up with her

Sadly nice flowers aren’t in hell, but hey she can make flowers out of fabric!

“Velv…? You up?” You open your eyes to see Velvette laying on her back, her own eyes closed.

“Yeah, Sweetie… Can’t sleep?” She lets out a deep breath before turning to you.

“No… Wanna cuddle?”

“Yeah, I’ll hold you for a bit.”

 She pulls you closer and you guys curl around each other.

“You’re tense. Wanna talk about your day?”

“Fuck yes. Tell me why this bitch Vox wants to be all modern and shit, doesn’t understand the fact that not everything can have a 1950s filter or theme to it? Have you seen his posters in the lobby? Horrendous! I’m so close to burning them.”

A/N: twinnn where have you been jk jk but i’m cuban and i grew up/visit florida a lot i miss it so much :( i also crochet :)

[shus-armpit]

idk but saw you said you need thirsts, so i’mma try for you^^

okay, so like we all know luxiem right? Their rope choker, fishnet gloves, the collar, the tattos, the feet & biceps. but what if, hear me out, what if we talk abt things that get them sensitive?

like, places that are sensitive, and no, not their cocks. I mean, Luca’s is obvious, his booba- but what if shu had sensitive ears, vox with sensitive thighs (inner thigh to be exact.) ike with a sensitive neck and collar, and mysta with a sensitive scalp.

Toying with Luca’s chest, fondling his boobs to your hearts content as he turns his head away flushed. Ears steaming and shaded with a cute pink color.

Whispering dirty promises to Shu as you pleasure him. Licking and nibbling on his ear lobe as he fights between the urges to push you off and pull you close.

Having Vox tied down to the bed, blindfolded, your hands feeling up his thighs sensually. Slapping them when he misbehaves or biting them and seeing them quiver.

Kissing ikes neck, while you have the novelist pinned down. Listening to him worry about the marks being seen, though interrupted by whimpers from his lips.

Fucking Mysta from behind, a hand in his hair, pulling his head back. Listening to his moans increase as you pull on his hair, god he’s cute.

🍄 anon

omg.. luca said his nipples were itchy and he moaned on stream?!?!?! HELLO?!?! idk why men are so embarrassed, like nipples are naturally sensitive? like let me play twister on them bbg &lt;;33

— but to be fr.. he'll be so embarrassed when you grope his chest, whining how it doesn't feel good but he asks you why you stop.. and when he gets introduced to nipple clamps he's just whipped for the way you pull him by the connected chains and bring him down for a kiss <33 hahhhh kaneshiro <3333

shu is SUCH a virgin. just cuddling and when you unintentionally breathe on his ear he gets hard and squirms with you in his hold, his best trying to hide it but failing — closing his legs and apologizing, as you smile and nibble his earlobe as his pants get tighter, humiliating him, telling him "you knew you were so dirty?" as he denies it but he just can't control how you kiss his pulse and exhale on the lobe and chew on the cartilage..

just bondage with vox and just scraping your nails on his sensitive thighs OROROR waxplay holy shat...

— just dripping the wax as you ghost his thighs, smearing the semi-hot liquid all over, then scratching off the wax, red dragging on lines to match the shibari he was in from your nails.. his dick is twitching but all he can do as of now is take what you give him

ike is so pretty to mark up.. like paint on canvas, with your signature clear. but aside from neck i mostly think he’s a fingertip person..

— kissing his fingertips or intertwining fingers while doing it or sucking his fingers gets him so hot and bothered and make him put those fingers in you or in himself either way he can’t take it.

mysta arching his back, like a cat that stretches. practically bending in half, his ass and head are trying to touch, like the ends of a folding chair, the slope from his ass to his back to his neck.. his eyes wobble at the figure of you as he keens and moans at the fist that's pulling him up.

— if you're not pulling him back, he's pushing himself back, closing the distance between his shoulders and knees as he bends the other way, than the one mentioned prior. either way, he wants his ass to be filled, so meet him halfway.

[floofz]

THANKS FOR TELLING ME YOUR THOUGHTS !!

i don't have many thoughts about the ep but it was. Something. to watch. i sorta knew what was about to happen because i saw you talking about it on the dash but My Fucking God. i don't know whats up with link click and their fifth eps but they sure do like putting all the strong topics into them. i did liked? enjoyed? a lot the realism it was treated with though

also my brain sort of died halfway n i spent a nice hour trying to figure out what was happening with lu guangs ability in this ep

that theory about one of the siblings taking control of him during that brief time period sounds very interesting?? i wonder if that's what happened or if the bad connection is due to lu guang's current health or a third secret thing

also another thing but i?? really like the way link click distracts you from the culprits. i spent the ending of ep4 n half of ep 5 thinking that the culprit was gonna be the cat ears dude n they also seemed to be playing onto it at first. i don't know. it's cool

wahh thanks for asking about my thoughts in turn newayz !! you're very cool

bro omg youre so right LINK CLICK AND THEIR FIFTH EPISODES. thanks for reminding of THAT one in s1 😭✌️ nah but fr it was A Lot. s1 ep5 was absolutely devastating made me cry like a baby and then we have s2 ep5 which is just. on a whole other level of hard to even watch.

I AGREE WITH THE CONFUSION ABOUT LU GUANGS ABILITY THOUGH. like its sooo... inconsistent. we dont know a lot about it from the get go anyway but i also sometimes wonder abt the logistics of the dives and if lu guang is surprised like cheng xiaoshi by what happens but then in other instances we see him knowing exactly what happens?? idk. suspension of disbelief ig. it is a time travel show after all so theres bound to be some inconsistencies. i try to just enjoy the show and not think too much abt the logistics of lu guangs ability.

also to your last point i knowwwww right?? the first time i saw this man and noticed the beard shadow i immediately thought it was that henchman guy from qian jin, just in the past. and thats also how the siblings have this connection in the present to him now. im still kinda sus abt him though. bet on link click to first make us think hes the bad guy, then the good guy, and then it turns out hes the bad guy again and actually that henchman dude. it is an interesting choice to give him the same beard shadow as him. link click, istg ur making my hairs turn grey.

anyway thank YOU for asking my thoughts on this ep too, i love talking about this show!!! tickles my brain in all the right ways GAHH. im so excited to see whats in store for us next week

[lex-drinks-blood]

idk what's life at the moment bc i go back to school on monday and i'm definitely not ready to go back and cry in the school's theapist office again

SOO, arthur with a very stressed/anxious and kinda depressed bf request? if that's cool w you of course (i'm also aware that in the 1800 mental health was treated with not very gentle medical methods and no one talked abt it so idk how this is gonna go 😭)

anyways, have a cat

love this idea. I also go back to school monday and I am... not excited. very much the opposite. so hopefully this fic can give us both a bit of comfort yea? let's see!

Arthur Havisham x Male Reader: pure fluff! arthur notices reader is a bit spacey and anxious so he tries to take care of him

Warning(s): none that I'm aware of, correct me if I'm wrong!

Notes: running on 3 hours of sleep and wrote this after work, I did not proofread, this is a fic purely written with vibes at this point. but I kinda like it I think. idk. I'm very tired. I hope you like it tho!! I'm sorry if my sleep deprived state made this too skegwjagajab :(

Arthur had been watching you intently from a distance for the past few days now, noticing ever-so-slight changes in your behavior that had slowly began to worry him. You were still the man he loved, nothing would ever change that, but he noticed a glazed over look in your eyes, a jumpy and startled reaction to things lately, a general lack of motivation in things that you had once took pride in, and it scared him. It shook him to his core, the thought that his darling boy could possibly be feeling unwell and battling that alone. This thought, and this thought alone, was enough to cause him to beckon his sister and request the next few days of work with the brewery off. Amelia, thankfully, was a woman who respected her brother's wishes and asked very little questions. Arthur was to be home to tend to his darling, and that mattered much more than the brewery.

When you awoke, you noticed that Arthur had not yet left your shared bed as he normally did in preparation for the day ahead of him.

You rolled into his arms that were already around your shoulders and under your neck, attempting to get impossibly closer to the warmth of the male beside you, "You're still here," you murmured, nuzzling your cheek into the part of his chest that was left revealed by the buttons of the shirt he had chosen to leave opened.

He kissed the top of your head, tussling your hair a bit as he spoke, "Wanted to be with you," he kissed you again.

You pressed your lips to his chest gently, planting the whisper of a kiss to his skin, "Miss you," you sighed.

"Shhhhh," the blonde Havisham cooed as he stroked your hair with love, "'m right here, my love. Not going anywhere," he planted another kiss to your head."

Tears had begun to well up in your eyes at this point, you could only cling on the billowy nightshirt around the pale man's body as you choked out a reply, "Promise?"

Arthur could sense the unwellness that shook you in your shaking voice and the grip he felt on his clothes. He gently pushed his body to a sitting position against the headboard of the bed, bringing you to sit up with him.

"Darling boy," he cooed, "I beg of you, tell me what's plagues you," a gentle hand placed on your cheek as he wiped your tears that began to spill.

You felt his deep brown eyes reaching for you but you couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze. Not in this state.

"I don't..." you stifled a sob as you dried a tear with your hand, "I don't know, Arthur."

That was when you broke. Every feeling that you had been bottling up finally spilled as you collapsed back into the arms of Arthur Havisham and sobbed into his clothes. You felt the sweet timber of his voice reach your ears but couldn't quite make out the meaning of his words. Felt the gentle touch of his hands on your body, making soothing circles on your head, petting your hair in the most calming way. He was always so perfect. And yet, nothing seemed to calm you.

And so like that you stayed. Crying into the arms of the man with whom you shared a bed. And not once did he complain. Not once did he make a snide comment to be a man. Not once did he mumble under his breath that you should be able to handle yourself. He didn't complain that his day free from the brewery was spent tending to a blubbering infant, instead he continued to whisper such kind and gentle words. Words that hit your heart in such a way that made your it do backflips.

Through your sniffles and sobs you occasionally heard him whisper, "I'm not leaving, promise," "I'm right here," "You're so strong darling, you can be weak just this once", etc.

When you were finally able to catch your breath, you looked up at Arthur with sorrowful eyes. The sound of his heart breaking as he looked upon the love of his life in such distress was almost audible, but he composed himself and kept a strong face.

"Oh Arthur," you cried weakly, "I'm so sorry," tears began to wel up in the corners of your eyes again, and you feared that the unstoppable waterworks were soon to come again.

Arthur stared at you for a moment, taking in the splotchy, red hue of your tear stained cheeks that he held in his hands before bringing his face down to meet yours and connecting your lips in a gentle kiss.

This kiss was much softer than the other times you had been marked by the Havisham. You had learned quickly that Arthur was not at all aggressive, but very much in need. He needed the world to know that you were taken, even if they couldn't know that you were explicitly his. While you couldn't declare your love for one another in public, Arthur took it upon himself to make it obvious that you were off the market by staining your neck with purple marks of his love and tugging at your lips between his teeth.

But this kiss was different. The pillows of his lips just barely met yours, as if asking for permission to touch you in this fragile state. When you leaned into his touch, giving him the permission he required, he kept his hand on your cheek to rub circles on your skin as he placed gentle kisses on your lips. Once. Twice. Thrice.

He noticed that you seemed to be visibly calmer now, but still in need of comfort. He pulled you from your half sitting-half laying position and onto his lap so that you were sitting on top of his legs, facing the wall to the left of him, legs dangling off of the bed. He placed a gentle kiss on your cheek as he wrapped his hands around your waist.

He pressed his forehead to the side of your face, "You are so strong y/n. Do you know that?"

[gayshitinfinite]

16, 20, 23, 25 🌷

xxx

16. compliment the person who sent you this number.

one of the smartest, coolest people i know (like go through their blog SERIOUSLY). she's really funny and well-versed in her memes ( i have no idea how u possess the talent to think/find those things and edit so quickly. like how????? the talont, the skills, i could never).

finder of cursed emojis and maker of the cutest crocheted (crocheyed?) baymax plushie, i bow down to you. i admire your strength to keep going no matter how long it takes. thank you for every time you've listened to my problems and for sharing (and for "bringing me" ramen soup (i hope they make a kanji one soon.... or not. the ramen one is really good too), you are a good friend<3333

16.what do you want most in the world right now?

self control?(......that sounds so bad dude). to be more conscious of whats happening instead of just letting things happen (u ever wanna get out of your body and shake yourself by the shoulders and scream 'bitch u have agency, u can make decisions, u can make actions. u r not some character doomed by the narrative or something'). motivation. i'd really like some motivation abt now. god i just wanna do something. anything really. just start something, or pick up something i left off, or idk finish things.

i really want to scream 'stop leaving shit and stop being scared of trying or doing something all the time. GOD' at myself

do something. yeah i really wanna do something ( she sounds like she cud be talking abt drugs. she is not. she's talking abt painting a mushroom (the fungus), 2 girls kissing,funny pictures of cats. binding a book, making funny/cute earrings (or just fucking completing her eng h.w for god's sake)

i'd really like to do things again. i miss it so badly u have no idea. i no longer want to pretend to be cool and mysterious and like, its hard to make me smile or amuse me. i wanna feel joy like that again. i wanna love passionately. i just want to learn and create something. i want to practice a skill and see it's effects bear fruits, uk. im so tired of laying around watching time pass me by and feeling regretful and disappointed and so so guilty for no reason. like can u do something different for MY sake plsss. im so tired and i dont wanna rest. im so tired of resting. i'd really like to stop being paralyzed and overwhelmed by the things i want to do. and instead just start something. or complete one thing i left off. just pick it up again. one thing. one thing for now.

so.. yeah, get my shit together and do something. thats what i wud like to do

23.favorite piece of clothing?

a frilly (kind of) white shirt with little bit lace on it that makes me feel like a pirate. a blue jacket (actually a hand-me-down-shirt), a handme down tshirt.

25. what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.?

honestly, i really love hugs. getting hugs or holding hands with people i love and care abt. but i guess that's not a 'personal gift'.

i really love notes or like letters. like write me something stupid and I would probably keep it forever.

i love being send memes, or articles or quotes or poetry(esp. if it like breaks something in me and puts me back together or something for a sec). ig i like getting written stuff. huh thats something i havent noticed abt myself.

i also like getting music recs or cute jimkis(jhumkis) or hanging earrings.

thankyou sumi for the ask<33333( calling you sumi without chechi added feels weird. should i call u chechi?)

[corvuserpens]

OK TODAY I HAD A DREAM ABT THE CORINTHIAN LISTEN UP.

I’m gonna try to make it make sense bc there were some weird bits to it, but here goes the gist of it:

It began at a nerd shop that used to exist in my town (which closed down a couple of months ago, actually). The clerk was closing up for the night, giving the big window a wash and all that, when the Corinthian, in all white and beige clothes, black shades and everything, shows up. He doesn’t walk in through the door, just pop! He’s there, and he starts going through the books at the counter, like he’s searching for something. There was also a cat, a yellow tortie, who slipped in through the open door, but idk what the cat’s deal was. Anyway.

The clerk notices he’s there and tells him he can’t be there, that they’re closed. The Corinthian turns to him slowly, like he knew the guy was there the whole time and ignored him, until he made the mistake of speaking up. He smiles, you know the smile. Charming but in a creepy way, the kind that gives you chills down your spine. He starts toward the clerk, but before he can say anything, I’m there. 

I don’t know how it happened, I was watching the scene unfold and suddenly I was part of it. Maybe I was the cat? No idea. 

Point is, I’m there, I turn to the clerk and I tell him: “I’ll take care of this. You should probably go home.”

The clerk leaves without protest, he’s out the door in a flash and who can blame him? I wouldn’t want the Corinthian giving me that hungry smile like he can taste my eyeballs already, either. It’s just me and him in the shop now, and he looks a bit annoyed that I interrupted any interaction with the poor clerk. He goes back to rummaging through the books (no idea why, I never found out). Meanwhile, I go to the window and push the blinds down so we can have privacy from any on-lookers outside. 

I go up to him and I say: “Corinthian. You know I’ll have to report this to Lord Morpheus, don’t you?”

He turns to me then, that rebellious smirk on his face, and shrugs. “Go ahead. I don’t care anymore. In fact...”

We hear a buzzing sound: it’s his phone going off. He pulls it out from his pocket and shows me the screen. It’s Dream. 

(Side note, I don’t know HOW DREAM GOT A PHONE or how he’s using it, but it’s him, I know it in my soul).

The Corinthian slides to answer, but he doesn’t put it on speaker, or even brings it to his ear, he just holds the phone in his hand. I can’t hear anyone speaking from the other side, and neither him nor I say anything. We simply stare at each other, as if we’re challenging one another to talk first. He ends the call without a single word being spoken, steps up to me in that deliberately slow gait of a predator (ngl he towered over me and it was scary af) and he says: “I don’t give a fuck anymore whether he knows where I am or not. Go on and report. Makes no difference to me.”

And with that, he turns his back on me and walks out the door.

NOW HERE’S THE REAL KICKER OF THE DREAM, Y’ALL ARE GONNA LOVE THIS: I watch him go, I hesitate, but decide to go after him. It’s pouring rain outside, and it’s freezing, but there’s a cover over the shop’s front so it’s fine. I call out to the Corinthian, and I remember feeling so determined, so resolute in my conviction to what I’m about to do next, and also burning with curiosity. 

He stops in his tracks, looks back at me... And I ask, rather incredulously: “You never told me, does your heart beat?”

He returns to my side, stares down at me and opens his arms. “See for yourself.”

So I step up (cautiously) to him, I put my right ear RIGHT ON HIS CHEST, and there it is: a heart beat, strong and calm and strangely soothing, I remember feeling so instantly at peace and good while listening to it that I even closed my eyes and leaned fully against him. He was so warm and it was so cold out in the street, I swear I could have stayed there listening to his heart for the whole night. I think I was a little bit in love with him for a second, LOOOL. But then I caught myself, stood back and looked up at him with wide eyes, I couldn’t believe what I had just witnessed, and he gives me this smile that is just so... sad. No joy at all, just an empty smile, and he asks me: “Do you understand, now?”

I can’t think of anything to say.

He starts to walk away in the rain, and I stand there for a long ass moment weighting my options, torn between reporting back to Dream because I’m loyal to him (was I a dream myself, I wonder?) and following the Corinthian. I want to know more, I want to go with him and help him find whatever he’s looking for, but just as I start running to catch up to him and reach out to grab his arm, like literal miliseconds away from my fingers touching the sleeve of his coat, MY FUCKING ALARM GOES OFF AND I WOKE UP. SMH.

It was such an amazing dream, I wish it could have gone on for longer. And it’s giving me so many fic ideas, ohhh yes!

[romanticly-yours]

100 questions abt me:

1. What is your best friends name? I don’t have one

2. Year you were born in? 2011

3. What are you listening to right now?  Lucy In The Sky With Dimonds by The Beatles

4. Whats your favorite number? 7

5. What was the last thing you ate? Cake

6. If you were a crayon what color would you be? Purple

7. How is the weather right now? Cold

8. Who was the last person you talked 2 on the phone?  My godfathers

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Hair

10. Do you have a significant other? In my dreams

11. Favorite TV show? Daria

12. Siblings? 2

13. Height? 5'1

14. Hair color? brown

15. Eye Color? Brown

16. Do you wear contacts? no

17. Favorite Holiday? Ieroween

18. Month? June

19. Have you ever cried for no reason? Ofc

20. What was the last movie you watched? Twighlight

21. Favorite Day of the Year? halloween 

22. Favorite season? fall

23. Fav anime? Ouran Highschool Host Club

24. Hugs or Kisses? I’ve Never Been Kissed™ but I’d love to have cheek kissed over hugs

25. Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla

26. Do you read? Ofc

27. Fav fanfic trope? Older brother of best friend

28. Fandoms you're in? MCR, FOB, PATD, Paramore

29. What books are you reading? The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

30. Piercings? ears

31. Favorite movies? The Perks Of Being A Wallflower or Almost Famous

32. Fav song rn? Gypsy-Fleetwood Mac

33. What were u doing before this? Tumblr

34. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? Butter

37. Dogs or cats? both

38. Favorite flower? Roses

39. Been caught doing something you weren't supposed to do? who hasn’t

40. Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex? I used too

41. Have you ever loved someone? Yeah

42. Who would you like to see right now? DamonFizzy or GWay

43. Pizza or tacos? Pizza

44. Pronouns? She/her

45. Do you like to travel by plane? No

46. Right-handed or Left-handed? right

47. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2

48. Are you missing someone? Yes

49. Do you have a Tattoo? No

50. Anybody on myspace that you'd go on a date with? No

51. Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? If it’s open I don’t bother closing it

52. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? Yes

53. Do you use neos? No

54. Do you have a typing quirk? Yes, sadly

55. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No but my dad has, I want too

56. Who do you think reads these? me!!

57. Spotify or Apple music?  Apple Music bcz my dad pays 4 it

58. Where are you? my bed

59. What's your plan for the day? sleep, school, shower

60. Do you ever count your steps when you walk? No

61. Do you chew your pens and pencils? Yes

62. Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Yes

63. What do you dip Chicken Nuggets in? Sweat n sour soucs

64. Last person you hugged/kissed? My mom

65. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? No

66. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? Monday

67. Are you lazy? Yes

68. Are you stubborn? Yes

69. Who is better...Markiplier or Jack? I never watched either of them

70. Are you neurodivergent? never diagnosed

71. Afraid of heights? yes

72. Do you think musicals are cheesy? yes but I’m still in theatre so

73. Is Christmas stressful? yes

74. Coke or pepsi? Pepsi

75. Major annoyance right now? My cds are at my grandmas in a different city

76. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Vet

77. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes

78. Ever have a deja-vu feeling? All the time

79. Do you take a medication daily? My iron medication

80. Wear slippers? no

81. What do you wear to bed? comfy clothes idk

82. OTP 4ever? i still don’t know what otp means

83. Worst fandom you been in? Danganronpa

84. Cheetos Or Doritos? Cheetos, the skinny ones

85. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Sunflower seeds

86. Ever hear of, "dn"? Deez nuts

87. Ever taken martial arts? no

88. Hair up or down? down

89. Can you curl your tongue? Yes

90. Tiktok or vine? Musically

91. Ever cried because you were so happy? Probably

92. Minecraft or Roblox? Idk

93. Did you have a gacha-life phase? Yes

94. Regularly burn incense? What

95. Ever been in love? Yes

96. Hot tea or cold tea? sweet tea !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

97. What type of kid were you? I was always the weird kid, I still am

98. Are you silly or goofy? goofy forsure

99. Milfs or Dilfs? no

100. What type of mom are you? I haven’t even had my first boyfriend yet

[gojuo]

Pass the happy! 🌻🌈 When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!

honestly I really do love my green mutuals like I left the got fandom back in 2014 after s04 stopped airing (bc no lady stoneheart + arianne martell + white ppl casting for dorne + overall divergence from the source material which is something I always distain) and slowly stopped caring abt asoiaf bc of no book content in so long so I just moved on, quietly waiting on twow and staying in my dorne-exclusive corner of the fandom but sadly I really do love asoiaf so regrettably I am interested in hotd but this fandom is so awful with all the targ infestation HOWEVER my green mutuals have renewed the love I used to have for asoiaf 🫶 we're small but I love it here in our little corner free from rabid dogs analyzing media MWAH 💋

MY CATSSSS MY BABIES MY CHILDREN FR 🥺 I'm actually allergic to cat and dog fur so even though me and my lil bro have wanted a cat for so long we just never got one bc of my allergies, but then my dad randomly one night in november 2021 came home with Lale (our little princess fr) then 3 months later we got Aslan (literally a terrorist I'm not even joking) so that Lale wouldn't be alone. Aslan is a Siberian and Lale is a Neva Masquerade, those races are hypoallergenic so my allergies don't act up thank God and I'm being so serious when I tell you cats cure depression ..... they are my firstborns fr😭 Lale has the prettiest blue eyes you will ever see in your life and stayed small (or average size idk she's barely 3 kilos) and is truly a lady and is extremely dignified. Like she's so funny, if we give her a piece of raw chicken or fish we HAVE to let her smell it for a few seconds before she takes a lick and THEN she starts biting it. And if it falls on the floor she won't touch it again we HAVE to give it to her from our hands she's literally soookjjgfjjgkvkfngcnd SHE'S A HIGHBORN LADY OF ROYAL BLOOD AND SHE WILL LET YOU KNOW!!!! She also purrs louder than a bike. Aslan in contrast is 6 kilos and none of that is overweight 😭 He's bigger than a small dog (if he grew a little more he'd be as big as a maine coon (eu version) is what the vets tell me) and has a huge mane like a lion (truly suits his namesake) and you won't hear his purrs unless you put your ear to his body but he TALKS SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!! he's constantly meowing and trilling and chirping and whatever else like he will not shut up!!! He's also so energetic more than a husky imo. he keeps running to and fro and trilling all the while it's actually so hilarious my dad dies from laughter every single time. the way he eats food is .. inexplicable LMFAO he's the complete opposite of ladylike Lale he's literally kirby with the way he inhales food. ALSO HE KEEPS JUMPING ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER!!!! EVIL TERRORIST THAT HE IS!!!!! (Aslan left, Lale right)

speaking abt my cats... my father insisted before we castrated them both that Lale became a mother at least once in her life. I reluctantly gave in and last August she had 6 babies 🥺 it was one hell of an experience, getting ready for her to give birth and watching new life come into the world and the aftercare I had to provide for all 7 cats (Aslan gave no shits ohmigod he was a deadbeat FR!!!!) I had to constantly keep watch and be vigilant so that all kittens would live past infancy and could grow up healthy. it felt like they were my own babies you know? and watching them come into the world and taking their first breath and watching them grow from being palm-sized to Lale's own size was genuinely miraculous and a memory I will never forget living through. they're Lale's babies but also mine, yknow? I also took care of them and hounded them like a mother lol. Giving them away was very sad but it had to happen :(. 5 of the kittens have already found their own homes, but the last one is still with us bc everyone that shows an ounce of interest in him keeps cancelling last minute 🥲 But idc I kinda wanna keep him but it's not advised by the vet 😭 my poor baby no one wants him, I wish he could stay with us :((((((

stone ocean anime ended > i finished reading jojolion > the jojolands manga begins serialization in less than 40 days LIKE THIS IS PEAK FICTION. HALLMARK OF MEDIA. GOLD STANDARD OF STORYTELLING!!!!! I LOVE JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE SSOOOOOOOOOO MUCHH NO OTHER PIECE OF MEDIA BRINGS ME THIS MUCH JOY 😭😭😭 i love jojos in ways no one could ever even imagine loving a thing......

got my piece of shit law degree last summer now I am finally fucking free of university FOREVER !!!! YIPPIEEEE !!!!!!!!

[insanebirddog]

I hate when people are like "others say they depressed as kids but when i was a kid all i cared about was legos"

This isnt directed at anybody, but i am so gen SICK of hearing this bullshit, so heres a rant on what i think. Small little warning it IS cringe.

ALSO TW There is small mentions of things like abuse, neglect, and child harm. If these may be triggering dont read this.

Cool dude, cool. I remember crying on the playground on multiple occasions bc it i was coming to the realization that no one, not even my family actually cared about me. I was thinkin about how i was completely alone, and how i was basically an observer. I came to terms with my 'quiet dude in the corner no one talks to and forgets is there' role in like 2nd or 3rd grade, and i cried in the car because even then i knew everyone i cared about was gonna leave me but yeah bro, rock on, i love legos.

I mean, its almost like kids can have bad lifes? OMG! CHILDREN HAVE PROBLEMS?! type shit annoys me. Just because someone is young, think any age of minor doesnt mean that they dont have something going on in life and it certainly doesn't mean you should belittle literal CHILDREN for being self aware about how bad their situation is. Thats how you get kids like me, i have such little confidence i cant tell you a SINGLE thing without being like 'but dont quote me haha!' like, i could just point at a cat and be absolutely sure it IS a cat and tell you 'oh hey thats a cat, but dont quote me bc idk' instead of being a dick to children who tell you somethings wrong you should idk, use your fucking ears and listen to em? Like, thats what you have ears for right? I could outright tell people that i was neglected as a kid and they'll be like 'your still just a kid, you dont know what neglect is' like yeah yeah cool, wasnt starved, didnt get medically neglected, totally got all the emotional support i needed and wasnt just ignored or literally beaten for having any type of emotion sure. Ppl act like they know EVERYTHING, invalidate you, mock ya, belittle you and then when you tell them the details they go all "sorry i didnt know" yeah, you didnt. So why were you such a fuckin dick abt it? Why did you all high and mighty go "I KNOW BETTER THEN U!" if you knew nothing?

Like, the fuckin legos statement. Does no one realise people can have VERY different childhoods? and that truama actually EFFECTS PEOPLE? like holy shit! that traumatized boy acts traumatized! why would he do that? its not like IM traumatized so why would he act that way?! like im very happy that you werent treated like garbage as a kid, atleast some parents still treat their kids with respect and not everyone in the world suffered like i did but jesus fucking holy hell get your shit together, you dont have to be a dickface just bc youre not traumatized.

SAME FUCKING THING WITH PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY DONT BELIEVE IN MENTAL HEALTH. Like we have FUCKING EMOTIONS. How do you not believe in LITERAL EMOTIONS??? like you even see it in animals, you beat an animal enough for doing something they wont do it anymore bc you traumatized the fuckin animal, you see literal evidence of it everywhere. People show signs of being traumatized and then these fuckwads r all "UR BEING DRAMAITC!!!!!1!1!11!1!!!1!!!11" and then they'll go and mention how their parents slapped them once and they werent traumatized, like sorry that happened to you dude, but that is not at all anything like being beaten everytime you cry. They make huge problems out to be the tiniest of bumps in the road like they turn a moutain into a pebble all bc "they were being dramatic-" ever heard of people not lying? like, theres people out in the world that dont lie about or exaggerate their trauma, i literally in my 17 yrs of life not met a single person who does that. I bet those people exist, and i feel bad that thats the only way they feel they'll be taken seriously or the only way anyone would care. We focus a LOT on those type of people, and i get why but that doesnt mean EVERYONE who talks abt being truamatized is exactly the same.

Theres a large list of types of people i dont like, and these are just two of them. But, i dont want to keep writing abt this bc as i mentioned before i literally have zero confidence in myself and will stop while im still comfty enough to post this.

Also, can someone help me understand tags m lost [new to tumblr dweebis]

[many-gay-magpies]

the way ive been trying to get to this All Day but i had errands and stuff to run. evil i think

truly jake's voice is so so pretty i could listen to him sing/talk for hours with no complaint

I HAVE MORE FEELINGS ABT BABY WEREWOLF SOLON. BABY HEESUNG ASKING HIS MOM WHEN HIS WOLD EARS ARE GONNA GROW IN BC SOLON HAS THEM. THE KIDS COLLECTIVELY TRYING TO TURN INTO WOLVES TO PLAY WITH SOLON ON THE FULL MOON AND THEIR MOTHERS HAVING TO GENTLY BREAK IT TO THEM THAT THEY CANNOT IN FACT DO THAT. FAST FORWARD TO DECELIS AND NOA'S HAVING A PARTICULARLY ROUGH DAY SO HE ASKS SOLON FOR "just one ride? like old times?" AND SOLON SIGHS AND SHIFTS AND LETS NOA CLAMBER ONTO HIS BACK AND TAKES OFF RUNNING WITH HIS LITTLE BROTHER'S FACE PRESSED INTO HIS FUR. YEAH. SOLON FINALLY OPENING UP TO SOOHA AND LETTING HER IN BC "you were always meant to be part of my pack, whether i like it or not, so we might as well be friends" (he's trying his best to express things) AND LETTING HER STROKE HIS FUR AS THE ULTIMATE SHOW OF TRUST. IM SO FEELINGS.

help imagine the sunshine city werewolves malfunctioning as they try to process the cuddle pile and when the decelis group asks what their gawking at they explain "well… we've never seen anyone but wolf packs pile like that" and jino chiming in like "okay…? so get in???" and the most awkward cuddle pile ever ensues after

NO YEAH HDFKSJDFHB THEYD BE LIKE "dont you want to join a real pack?" AND SOLON LIKE "… i have one??" AND THEM LIKE "no, a proper pack. whatever you've got now with those vampires doesn't compare" AND SOLON LIKE "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY BROTHERS??? SQUARE THE FUCK UP KHAN." and safe to say heli and enzy have to hold their respective brothers back

-vrvr anon

ahh the dreaded errands <//3 well in any case you're here now! and god yea i totally agree on jake's voice. its probably half the accent but SHHH

NO OMG BABY. BABY THOUGHTS. BABY HELI ASKING HIS MOM WHEN HIS WOLF EARS WILL COME IN/WHEN HE'LL BE ABLE TO TURN LIKE SOLON OMG IM CRYING. and all the boys just running around roughhousing like wolf cubs in a pack... they dont even give half a shit that theyre not PHYSICALLY able to turn into wolves, thats only a minor discrepancy—love for their brother transcends all physical barriers. NOA ASKING SOLON FOR A RIDE "LIKE OLD TIMES" BC HES FEELING DOWN AND SOLON PRETENDING TO BE GRUMPY ABOUT GIVING IN EVEN THOUGH HE WAS GONNA DO IT ANYWAY BC THATS HIS BABY BROTHER RIGHT THERE. AND THEN SOLON FINALLY OPENING UP TO SOOHA AND ACCEPTING HER AS PART OF THE PACK (WHILE ACTING CONSTIPATED ABOUT IT BECAUSE EMOTIONS ARE HARD)... LETTING PEOPLE TOUCH HIM IN HIS WOLF FORM BEING THE ULTIMATE SHOW OF TRUST FOR HIM... ACTUALLY IN TEARS. god now that ive been introduced to the concept i could talk about baby!/pre-orphanage!decelis boys forever probably

LMFAO AWKWARD DOUBLE-PACK CUDDLE PILE YES IM LIVING FOR IT. love the idea of the sunshine city wolves being like "huddles like that are usually a werewolf-only thing tho???" and the decelis squad just NOT getting the point theyre trying to make At All. like yeah??? and??? idk what youre trying to say buddy but its not clicking, either get in the mega cuddle pile or don't but don't just stand there staring at us. thats weird. and impolite

i feel like the whole "dont you wanna join a PROPER pack? get away from all those BLOOD-SUCKING HEATHENS?" talk happens BEFORE all the previous revelations so after the sunshine city vamps witness just how pack-like the vamps ARE khan is just like "...i confusedly retract my statement." HSJDBFJBF. but yeah no solon would TOTALLY try to wreck khan's shit for insinuating that his brothers arent a "worthy" pack for him, thats his FAMILY goddamnit, you insult the pack you get the smack. its like that one dark moon webcomic panel with heli and khan dragging away their respective younger brothers, shion and tahel, by the scruffs of their necks like squabbling cats, except reversed LMFAO.

(a semi-cursed, potentially sweet scenario i just thought up: maybe when solon's having a bad day or something his brothers cheer him up by discussing what they think they'd be like/look like if they COULD turn into wolves, and its all very sweet and wholesome, until some student walks by and hears the conversation out of context and just goes "...are yall furries?")

[fxcczedoss]

Guide: FA=Fatass, BH=bluehead

This rant started off to just go off in FA's gf and how she was poly but it mutated into problems with being too comfortable with sharing your kinks/sexualities.

please the bluehead is poly. thats so disgusting. how much of a lowlife do you have to be in order to become such a gross creature. its almost hard to believe we are the same kind. I feel so distraught at the person/people who encouraged her to be herself. idgaf if your gay, but ong do not push your sick desires to other people and make it your whole personality. Look at my profile for crying out loud. she reads those webtoons that help you come out of your shell or sum shit. idk and idc. i look like i do. kinda but only because more people should be aware how degenerate this kind of behavior is. absolutely no one should be proud of living a life where all you do is make up a personality for yourself that no one but a group of people seem to care about. this is why you get bullied by fa's ex.

This is where I went off on another trail on how weird BH is in general.

no one wants to see you in cat ears. you being aware its cringe doesnt justify it either. it only make you look more like a fool. you know its cringe so dont take pride in it mf. no one gives a damn youre poly. most people are disgusted by that if anything. i could also be to blame because im self aware im spending my time on her and on this post. what do i say to that? idgaf. shes poly and that already enough for me. screw you for pushing your sick and degenerate beliefs and screw your gf for running her exs view on herself.

This is where I talk abt how degenerate the ppl she knows are such as FA.

Dear FA

From: FA's ex

if youre literal fat ass had the the bare minimum of respect for ex while y'all were dating, she would very well use your goddamn pronouns but no. why should she? YOU broke her. YOU went off to talk to a pedo. YOU went off and dated someone with no personality. YOU did not try to hide you didn't value her. and on top of that YOU went off to befriend a racist she didn't like and was constantly faking her ethnicity. YOU'RE sick degenerate human being. did I also mention your snowflake having ass told me to stop using the slur that belonged to her culture? thats exactly why youre whiteass went off and made bffs with that white bitch who pretends is puerto rican. youre ex is tired of it. all of it.

send hate, death threats, call me a homophobe. but I will not let this kind of disgusting behavior slip by. i accept people of (not all) all sexualities that are fucking normal. none of that zoophilia shit. fatherless behavior like this should never be encouraged or displayed.

[aribeez]

Forever Yours

read part two here

pairing: xiao x fem!reader

theme(s): enemies/lovers, jealousy, SFW

synopsis: tasked with watching over xiao at the inn, you two argued like cats and dogs. was this relationship doomed from the start?

Warnings: childe makes an appearance (mans is my number one i don't wanna hear anyone complaining), ganyu shows up for a hot second, reader is blunt, slow burn, violence (swords, weapons in general), blood, NOT PROOFREAD

notes: SORRY IT'S LONG LMAO. i modeled the reader after my own personality because i'm funny. also idk how i feel abt this fic but i love angst. storytime: xiao decided to come home 77 pulls AFTER i lost the 50/50 at deadass hard pity. i'm not f2p but i only buy welkin and bp so primos are still scarce:( now i'm saving for my boy kazuha (still mad at myself for starting genshin after his banner). ALSO SORRY BUT I LOVE A GOOD JEALOUSY TROPE SO I USE IT OFTEN... anyways, hope you love our little tsundere guy. <3

✧

"I don't like you." Xiao spat, glaring into your eyes. For a man who barely talks to anyone, he sure isn't afraid give you the most piercing stare ever. It even made you uncomfortable.

"You tell me everyday." You sigh, placing the plate of almond tofu on the little wooden table beside Xiao. You didn't really like Xiao. You don't want to say hate, as he is an Adeptus, but you strongly disliked him.

He didn't really like you either. Since Verr Goldet and Huai'an were off doing some business for the Liyue Qixing, she instructed you to watch over Xiao to make sure he gets his food and to get whatever he needs. This abode was built for him, after all. That was three weeks ago.

Xiao hated being watched over, especially with someone as talkative as you. You really only see him for a few minutes a day, but the ice cold stare he gives you drains you of any happiness you had. The rest of your day is ruined.

You push your hair behind your ears as the wind glides along your body. It was freezing. "Do you really have to make me bring your plate out here? How aren't you cold?" You scoff, crossing your arms together to attempt to bring a little warmth to your frame.

Xiao didn't even react. He continued looking off onto Liyue, one knee up to his chin, the other hanging off the railing. He didn't even move his hair from his eyes. What a weirdo.

"Verr does not pay me enough for this." You mutter to yourself, looking down at your bare knees as they become red with the cold. Working for the Qixing did not have "take care of Adepti" in its description.

Verr instructed you to wait until Xiao was at least done eating so you can take his plate back down. Could the man really not bring his own plate down?

You sigh as you look at the food, untouched. "I'm going to wait just outside the porch," You started, your hand already opening the door back inside. "The least you could do is tell me when you're done so I can grab your plate." You wait a beat, hoping maybe Xiao will actually mutter a word to you other than 'leave me alone'. Alas, nothing.

You huff angrily, closing the door a little too loudly. You didn't know much about Xiao, only that he is an Adeptus and that he is the conquerer of demons, but not much else. Verr just warned you to be gentle with him, but your stubbornness couldn't allow you to do that. He was just so cold!

Minutes pass as you watch the grandfather clock tick in front of you. How slowly time went when there was nothing to do. Growing rather antsy, you open the door, peaking an eye out onto the porch. On the table lied an empty plate, and no sign of Xiao.

"Seriously." You groaned, pushing the door past you so you can collect the plate. "Couldn't even bring it inside." You huffed, trudging back into the inn.

And the cycle repeated for weeks.

-

Xiao didn't like to talk. The mortal act of 'conversing' seemed rather insignificant to him. However, every time you complained about him or your job in general, he couldn't help but open his mouth. No one, in the thousands of years he's been alive, has ever been as foul mouthed as you are towards him.

"Have you mortals no respect for your Adepti?" He asked through gritted teeth, still not even giving you the decency of looking at you. He just stares off, though his facial expression is that of disgust.

"I will give you the same answer I give you everyday, Xiao. No!" You threw your arms up angrily. You didn't mean it, you did have respect for the Adepti in general, just not this one.

"Adeptus Xiao." He snarled. "Absolutely despicable. You are much too insignificant for me."

You slam your hand on the table, causing the almond tofu to shake. "I can't do this anymore!" You shout, brows furrowed right at him. "How can I respect you if you don't respect me?!" You run your fingers through your hair.

And of course, no physical reaction from the mighty conquerer of demons. "Then leave." Xiao said, as monotone as ever. "I don't get why you're still here." He didn't understand how his words gave you such a reaction. All he said was that you were insignificant, which is the truth! A mere mortal is not special in anyway, especially in the eyes of an Adeptus.

"Maybe I will leave! Who will bring you your precious tofu then?!" You scoff, tearing the plate away from the table. You're not a violent or angry person, but Xiao brings this fire into you that you just can't seem to shake off. The way he ignores you only fired you up even more.

It's like he liked pushing your buttons.

You turn around so quickly, you didn't see the rare occurrence happening just behind you. Xiao was looking at you, and he watched as you stomped away with his full plate of tofu. He never quite understood why he felt the need to argue with you. Was it maybe because no one has treated him like this before?

People seemed to be scared of Xiao if they ever had the chance to cross paths with him. He was intimidating and not that friendly. Most stay clear of him, which he preferred anyways as to not infect them with his karmic debt. Not you, however. You aren't afraid of Xiao, you actually are so unafraid that you even yell at him. He's not saying he likes getting yelled at, but the fact that you were so brave around him made his stomach jump.

He didn't like to dwell on these confusing feelings, because if he did, he might accidentally admit to himself that making sure he was back at the inn by five wasn't just for routine sake, but to make sure he saw you.

Xiao knew you would come back. You had the same fight everyday, and the next day you always returned.

Until you hadn't.

-

Xiao grunted to himself as he watched the Liyue sky turn to nightfall. His eyes glazed over the empty table with no plate attached to it. Where were you? He rested his chin on his knee, his anxiety slightly heightened. You were never late.

Maybe his karmic debt had finally gotten to you. Why have you not listened when he requested you leave him alone? Human souls are weak and fragile, it could not keep up with the physical and psychological torment that has tortured Xiao for years.

He sighed, removing himself from the railing and into the inn. A wave of heat brushed Xiao as he entered, not even realizing he was cold from the snow outside. He looked down when he walked, but snuck little glances inside each of the rooms looking for you as he made his way to the front desk.

It's been a while since he has been at the front desk. The whole front was decked out for Lantern Rite. Was that today?

He grunted to himself as he made his way into the kitchen, hoping you were there waiting for his tofu to be made. Maybe the chef was just late?

"Adeptus Xiao?" Chef Yanxiao questioned, almost freezing up at the sight of Xiao. "Is this about your almond tofu?"

Xiao stared at the kitchen, no sign of tofu at all.

"Apologies, but Y/N never requested it to be made. I assumed you didn't want any." Yanxiao continued, placing the plate he was just cooking down.

"Where is she." Xiao demanded, a growing worry becoming prominent on his face. Would you even know to call his name if you were in trouble? He never told you he could do that. He silently cursed at himself for withholding such information.

"Y/N?" Yanxiao tilted his head, thinking it over. "Umm... I haven't actually seen her today at all." He walked toward a button on the side of the kitchen. "This button alerts when I need someone to come downstairs to grab food when it is done. Let me see if she comes down."

Xiao anxiously awaited your footsteps, but the only footsteps heard was that of another worker, coming down to grab the food Chef Yanxiao prepared.

"Apologies, Adeptus Xiao." Yanxiao frowned. "It seems she is not in today."

Xiao simply walked back up the stairs, his heavy footing causing dust to fly down from under the staircase. He was angry. Angry you just disappeared without telling him. Angry that he was angry about you not telling him. What was wrong with him?

Hours passed as Xiao watched the outside from the railing, hoping to catch you, hoping that you were okay. He listened attentively to the wind, searching for your voice calling out for his name. Maybe if you were in trouble, you would think to call for him, even if you hated him.

Xiao had never given you much thought until this moment, and his mind wandered to his fellow Yakshas who would look down on him for a mortal consuming his thoughts. You weren't all bad, though annoying, you still had a caring bone in your body. You made sure Xiao was fed, and even during one of his karmic debt episodes, you brought him extra tofu. He didn't realize it then, but it was your way of comforting him.

Did you even know of karmic debt? Xiao had a million questions swarming through his head, that he almost didn't hear the sound of laughter- your laughter- downstairs at the front desk.

Eyes widening, he quickly jumped down from the railing, rushing inside. You were laughing, so you had to be okay, right?

"You're too funny, Y/N." Another voice laughed. Xiao stopped in his tracks, only steps away from being in view of you. Who else knew of your name? This wasn't a voice Xiao recognized.

"Am I now?" You laughed back. "Well, thank you again, Childe. For taking me to the Lantern Rite festival. I know the Fatui and Qixing have their... Differences, but I'm glad it didn't stop us from hanging out."

A strange pit formed in Xiao's stomach, one he is not accustom too. His eyes glowed as his expression changed from worry, to anger. Pursing his lips together, he made his way back to the porch, not wanting to hear more of your conversation with... Childe.

"Mortals..." Xiao scoffed to himself, picking at the snow with his finger, lightly bringing some of it to his tongue. The cold soothed his hot tempered reaction to you and Childe together. No longer will his thoughts be plagued by you, a mere inconvenience, but instead by the duty bound to him. Protect Liyue.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening, and mistakingly, he looked over.

You froze at the sudden eye contact. Usually, Xiao wouldn't even bat an eye when you walk onto the porch.

"Yanxiao said you were looking for me." You stated, slowly walking over to the railing. "He said you looked worried." You placed your hand next to his, silently hissing at the cold that radiated from the railing. "Were you?"

Xiao swallowed hard as he saw your hand so close to his in his peripheral vision. "No." he stated coldly.

He expected you to lash out again, but was wrong when he heard a slight chuckle escape your lips.

"Normally I would yell at you, but right now, I'm happy." You smiled to yourself. Seeing Childe always made you happy since you don't see him often. You've been best friends for years. "So instead, I will just apologize for not telling Yanxiao to bring your tofu up. That is why you sought me out, correct?"

Xiao wasn't stupid, and quickly moved his hand to his side when he figured out why you were so happy. "Yes." He lied, being more cold than ever towards you.

"I figured. I shall bring some up for you now, if that is what you request." You turned around, already prepared to have to go back downstairs to get Xiao's tofu.

Xiao closes his eyes, thinking back to when he thought you were in trouble. He felt sick at the fact that you would not call for him to protect you.

"Y/N."

You froze in your tracks, your blood running cold. Never, ever, has Xiao said your name before. You turn back around only to be met with golden eyes staring back at you. They were not angry, like they usually were, but concerned. You were honestly a little freaked out.

"I lied."

You swallowed as you linked your fingers together, fiddling with anxiety. "Lied?" You questioned.

Xiao bowed his head down in response. "Yes. I did not look for you because of the tofu." He confessed, his eyes not leaving yours. "I thought you were in trouble."

Your heart sank a little as you realize what has happened. Xiao was worried about you. Guilt ate your insides as your gaze left Xiao, unable to look him in the eye now. You would have never imagined he was worried about you, you honestly thought he would be happier if you were dead.

"I'm sorry." You mutter shyly. "Next time, I'll tell you if I leave. I didn't mean to make you worried."

"I wasn't worried." Xiao corrected. Ah, there was the Xiao you knew. "But if you ever are in serious trouble, just say my name, and I'll be there."

You chuckle slightly. "Is that it? Just say your name?"

"Yes." Xiao cocked his head to the side in confusion. "What is so funny about that?"

"Nothing! I just never thought you would bestow such a privilege onto me."

Xiao looked back past the railing, onto Liyue. "Well, I am. Unless you don't need me, that is." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, thinking back to how you're friends with a literal Harbinger. Not that Xiao couldn't crack his skull into two, but maybe you prefer his saving over his own.

"Not like I have an abundance of Adepti waiting to save me." You laugh. "Thank you... Adeptus Xiao."

Xiao straightened up at the name, his face becoming red with embarrassment. "D-Don't think you can just call me whenever you please!" Xiao stuttered, slamming his hand onto the railing, turning back to you. "Only if you are near death."

You simply giggle at the sight of the conquerer of demons being bashful towards you. "Of course not, see you tomorrow."

His eyes widen as he watched you go. "W-Wait!"

You turn around. "Yes?"

Xiao looks down, almost disappointed in himself. "Tofu." Was all he said. "Please."

-

You really did think for a second that Xiao had changed, especially after your conversation that night. But boy, were you wrong.

Xiao has been even more distant, giving you one word answers for everything you say, not even meeting your eye anymore. You grew tired of it, and simply, you couldn't deal with it anymore. He almost made you feel unneeded, even if he didn't outright say it.

"Xiao." You say, pausing for an answer, even though you know you won't get one. "I can't do this anymore." You state, looking down. The bags under your eyes were proof of how tired you were.

Sleepness nights haunted you every time you tried to get some shuteye, your thoughts consumed by why Xiao hated you so much. Yeah, you admit you could be annoying, but ever since that night he seemed to really hate you. Truth be told, you wanted Xiao to like you, even if your relationship was a bit strained.

Xiao was in the same position as he always was, and this sudden confession did not change anything. He continued to look out onto the mountains.

You sigh sadly. You were exhausted. "I told you I would tell you if I was leaving, so this is me keeping my word. However, I will not be back." You look up at Xiao, hoping for even a little reaction.

Nothing.

You slug your shoulders down. "Verr Goldet will be back tomorrow, but I shall take my leave tonight. I told Yanxiao to bring your tofu up at five." You wait again.

Nothing once more.

"Goodbye, Xiao." You say softly, closing the door of the porch for the last time.

Xiao waited until he knew you were back inside to relax his being, taking in all the words you just said.

All he wanted to do was bring you back, to argue like you did before he found out about Childe. Though it has been weeks since Lantern Rite, Xiao could not shake this feeling of you laughing with another guy. You never laughed with him. It made him so... So... Xiao couldn't even think of the feeling he was feeling. So he did what he knew best, and shut everyone out.

Xiao also knew his karmic debt would plague you sooner or later, and he didn't want that for you. It hurt him to let you go, but he knew he had too.

That night, Yanxiao brought up Xiao's almond tofu. Xiao did not eat. He only sat, watching as you rolled your suitcase out of Wangshu Inn.

His heart hurt, and it wasn't karmic debt this time.

-

"Xiao!" Verr smiled, opening the door onto the porch. "Didn't think you would be here. Are you okay? Having an episode?"

"I am fine." He states coldly. Verr always thought the worst above all else. "Was your trip satisfactory?"

"Yes, the trip was good, though I did not mean to be gone that long! Apologies, both to you and Y/N." Verr looked around, confusion arising on her face. "Where is Y/N?"

Xiao's face sank at the sound of your name. "She left."

"Back to the Qixing already? That girl is a hard worker." Verr opened the door back up to head inside. "Let me know if you need anything!"

Xiao bowed his head down in response.

Alone again. Just the way the archons intended it to be.

Days pass as Xiao fell back into his normal routine before you arrived. Now, he doesn't feel the need to make it back by five. He slays demons, battles out his karmic debt, and eats almond tofu. Granted, that's exactly what he did when you were there, but the differences was he actually had something to look forward to: seeing you.

Now, he thinks of you often. Were you okay? Were you happy? Though thoughts of mortals should be shunned away, Xiao couldn't help it. He wanted to see you, just one last time, even if you yelled and screamed at him.

You fell back into routine too. You quickly made it back to the Qixing to start normal work once again. It felt good to be around people who actually want to talk to you, though every time someone brought Xiao up (to be fair, it was mostly Ganyu and how tough of an instructor he was to her), you felt sadness creep its way into your emotions. Did you... Miss him?

You shook that thought quickly away.

You did not miss Xiao.

"And then, he told me my aim was still bad!" Ganyu groaned. You nodded in response, trying to do both your work and listen to Ganyu's ramblings. "Honestly though, I feel bad for him." She sighed.

You stop your work and look up at her in confusion. "Why? Because he's like a demon conquerer?" You sounded a little stupid, but you've never heard anyone say they feel bad for Xiao.

"Well- yes. But no. Did... Verr not tell you?" Ganyu questioned.

You shake your head no.

"Oh. Well Xiao is succumbed to karmic debt for slaughtering demons. It's pretty brutal. It's a mixture of physical and psychological pain that extends to people he hangs out with as well. It's kind of why he has no acquaintances."

You stare at your paperwork, swallowing back sadness. Is that why Xiao pushed you away? So you wouldn't be brought into his world of pain?

"Y/N? Are you okay?" Ganyu brought a hand to your forehead. "You feel fine, no fever." She breathed out a sigh of relief.

You suddenly stand up, startling both Ganyu and yourself. "I-I have to go." You say quickly, gathering your things. "Please tell Lady Ningguang I'll be back tomorrow!"

"W-Wait- Y/N!" Ganyu shouted, though you were already out the door.

You don't know why now you decided you had to see Xiao now, but you didn't care. You were always an advocate for following your heart, so even though you were confused as to why you wanted to see Xiao, you didn't run from it. You ran towards it.

The Qixing was a little far from Wangshu Inn, so you knew you were bound to see a few monsters. Nothing you haven't seen before, though it was best to keep away from them as you were visionless and not the best at wielding a weapon.

Though Hilichurls tended to not bother you unless provoked, treasure hoarders were a different story. They actively hunted people, especially people alone.

So it really should have came to no surprise when five strong treasure hoarders surrounded you.

"Just give us your bag." One sneered, his weapon now coming closer and closer to your chest.

You felt like you were going to faint. Everywhere you turned was another hoarder about to pounce on you. You quickly grab the dull blade you carry just in case, though you knew you were no match for the very skilled people about to hurt you.

"Please..." A tear rolled down your cheek. "I need this bag. I-"

Slash.

Red quickly stained your clothes as one of the hoarders brought a blade to your arm and sliced it. You breath hitched as all of a sudden, hands grabbed you and brought you hard to the ground.

Your back hurt as you cried out in pain. You shakily hold your blade out, though that was discarded right away as another hoarder kicked it from your hands. They laughed in your face.

Tears fell hard as they towered over your frail frame, weapons gripped tightly.

Was this the end?

"No..." Was all you could whisper, fear encompassing your thoughts. Your eyes widen as the biggest hoarder brought his shovel up, right above your head.

Fuck.

"Xiao..." You say softly, nothing more than a quiet whisper escaping your lips.

As if in the blink of an eye, a figured appeared by your side, startling the treasure hoarders, and you.

"What the..." One said as they all faced Xiao.

Xiao, spear in hand, looked down at your injured body, a fiery explosion bursting in him.

A piercing gaze washed over all the hoarders as Xiao quickly sped towards them, hurting them in every way possible.

They had no time to escape.

Your attention was quickly brought to your arm as Xiao fought. You were losing a lot of blood. You attempted to put pressure on the wound but winced in pain, dropping your arm to its side.

"Ah!" You yell as you felt strong hands lift you from the ground. Your vision was hazy, but you were sure it was him. "Xiao?" You asked softly. It was the last thing you muttered before passing out.

-

Waking up to a room that wasn't yours brought along quite a scare, but feeling your injured arm startled you even more. You wince in pain as you attempt to bring yourself up, but fail to do so when a force pushed you gently back down.

"Stop getting up." You look up and see none other than Xiao.

"W-Where am I?" You stutter, your anxiety heightening.

"Wangshu Inn."

"Why?"

Xiao gestured to your bandaged arm. "You called for me."

"I did...?" You look over and see your arm neatly wrapped up, a little red staining it. You look down in disappointment. "I'm sorry, I should have-"

"Why didn't you call earlier." Xiao interrupted, his sharp tone making you widen your eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"You called for me only after you were injured. You should have called for me as soon as you saw the treasure hoarders." Xiao was leaning against the wall, arms crossed and eyes closed. "You should know how fragile humans are. You could have died. What were you even doing alone?"

You were speechless. "I-" What do you even say? "I didn't think you'd want to see me." You admitted, your voice dropping. "I was... Coming to see you."

Xiao turned his head sharply at you, almost as if he heard incorrectly. "Why." Why come to see him if you thought he didn't want to see you? Humans were odd.

You shifted uncomfortably in your bed, another sharp pain shooting into your arm, causing you to wince.

"I said stop moving." Xiao growled. "You'll only make the pain worse. Now, why were you coming to see me? Did something happen? You could have just called for me."

"Y-You said not to bother you unless near death. My situation for coming to you was not life or death."

"Then what?"

Xiao didn't mean to sound so cold, and he felt a little bad about it, but it's just how he is.

"I don't know." You admitted. Xiao looked at you, obviously not satisfied with that answer.

"You... Don't know?"

"Well. I guess I missed you. So... I was going to come just to ask Verr Goldet how you were. I wasn't actually going to bother you." You sigh, turning your head to face Xiao, who was now as red as a tomato.

"I... See." Xiao looked away embarrassed, bringing a hand to his mouth. "I do not understand. You dislike me. How do you miss me?" Xiao was really trying to comprehend the feelings a human has, but it's so difficult when they're so complex.

"I don't know."

Xiao sighed. This was going nowhere. "I will take my leave now." He stated, opening the door into the hallway.

"Xiao?"

He turns his head to face you.

"Thank you."

-

The next day was much easier for you. Though your arm was throbbing with an uncontrollable pain, you could actually get up. Verr checked on you every once in a while, bringing you soup and pain killers, but no sign of Xiao.

You trudged your way up to the balcony the next morning, hoping he was there.

You stopped in your tracks as you opened the door to the balcony. Though you always brought it up for him, never have you seen Xiao actually eat the almond tofu. This was probably the happiest you've seen him.

"Xiao?"

Xiao stopped chewing as he looked up at you, mouth full. He kinda looked... Cute. You quickly wipe away that thought. Xiao would actually kill you if he heard you say that.

He coughed nervously as he placed the plate down. "Y/N. What are you doing? You should be resting."

"I wanted to see you."

"Hmph. Mortals. For what service could I be to you?"

"No service." You walk up to the railing he sat on, looking up at his glowing eyes. You smile to yourself as you watch him burn up. "I just... Want to apologize."

"A-Apologize?" Xiao asked, flabbergasted. Have you done something wrong?

You nod. "I'm sorry for making your life difficult. I didn't know you were dealing with such... Demons."

"I am the demon conquerer. I always deal with demons."

"No. I mean inside." You point to his heart, the sudden affection making Xiao stiffen up. Never, has anyone touched him. "I didn't know you were plagued with such pain..." You hold your hand flat on his chest, feeling his heart rate quicken.

Xiao could only stare at your hand touching him, his breathing becoming rapid. He was too stunned to speak.

"I know you don't want to see me, but I still want to thank you for helping me... So..." You look up at his face, and him to you. His lips were slightly parted as a feverish blush wore itself on his cheeks. "Thank you, Adeptus Xiao."

Xiao swallowed nervously as you removed your hand from his chest. "Y/N." He breathed out, still not recovered from the touch he received. "You're wrong."

You cock your head to the side in confusion. "Wrong?"

"I-I-" Xiao breathed out heavily as he looked away from you. "I do want to see you." He finally choked out, though he could not face you when he says it. "I have felt weird since you left, and seeing you hurt like that..." He swallows. "I'm mad at myself for being unable to protect you."

You frown. "Xiao, you did protect me. It's not your fault I called for you after the fact." Nothing you say will make him think otherwise though.

"But, how can you want to see me? Do you not have another?" It hurt Xiao to ask about Childe, but he couldn't help himself. Why should he even care? He honestly doesn't know why he does.

"Another?" You question. "Xiao, are you asking me if I have a boyfriend?" You slightly tease.

You see Xiao physically tense up. "N-No. Well... I saw you. Talking to a Fatui member. Laughing. I assumed..." He huffed before he could finish his sentence, his face becoming an even deeper shade of red. "N-not that I care..."

You blink a few times before you let out a laugh. Xiao looked at you with straight confusion.

"Oh, Xiao..." You laugh, wiping tears with your non-injured arm. "Of course you don't care."

"W-Well, I mean I do- Kind of-"

"It's okay, no need to explain yourself. Childe is my best friend. Nothing else." You bring your hand down onto his, causing him to jerk it away on instinct.

"S-Sorry." You hug your hand back. "I didn't mean to..." Why did you just do that?

Suddenly, you see his hand slowly fall back down to the railing, his face completely opposite of you. "It's okay." Was all he said, not wanting to sport the permanent blush on his cheeks.

You smile warmly as you gently grab his hand. You didn't want to make him uncomfortable, but you knew he secretly liked being touched.

"You know, you could be infected with my karmic debt if you continue coming to see me." Xiao faces you once again, looking down at you with sad eyes.

"I know." You say softly. "I don't care."

Not letting go of your hand, he slowly brings himself down the railing to stand next to you. "I do."

"Xiao..." You whisper, letting go of his hand and bringing yours to his face slowly. "I don't want to leave you again, even if we argue, I..." You became lost as you stared at his face. He truly was beautiful.

His breath hitches as you trail a finger along his jaw line to the strands of hair falling over his eyes. You gently bring them behind his ears, cupping his cheek.

"Y-Y/N..." He stutters slowly, his gaze not leaving your face.

No more words had to be spoken. Xiao gripped your hand on his face gently as he bent down to your lips. As if by instinct, you started to move up to him as well.

Xiao ignored every fiber of his being telling him this was a waste of time. He did not think of you as a waste of time. Not after you almost died. It brought a realization to him. He wanted you by his side. He didn't care how selfish or how out of character it was for him.

He needed you, even if he didn't know why.

Your breath hitches once your lips touch. You wait a beat, seeing if Xiao wants to move away.

You yelp when he is the one to close the gap harder between you two, kissing you as if it were your last. You close your eyes, melting into his kiss as he strokes your hair and brings you closer.

The two of you gently part, still feeling each others breath on one another as a string of saliva connects your lips.

"Xiao..." You whisper. "Please don't push me away." You plead quietly. "Let me help you..."

He grips your hand, touching your forehead with his.

"If that is what you desire." He breathes out.

"I am forever yours."